#and sadly i involved myself with many species like this

[vampiricsheep]

Stinnt's TEd Talk (non-abridged)

If you attended last week's TEd Talk event to the end, you may recall Sheep fumbling to share Stinnt's talk after having accidentally crumpled, smudged, and disorganized the provided notes. Here's how it was supposed to read, for those curious! Under a cut for length. (By the way, if you would like to post your speech and haven't, I would love to share it! Everyone had such fantastic talks to give, and it was a delight to be present for them.

Greetings from afar, dear audience. My name Is Stinnt, and I'm a graduate student of the College of Synergetics. I introduce myself not under the hollow expectation of reputation alone to lend credibility to my claims, but rather to ensure my work is properly credited before disseminated and, inevitably, repurposed.

My work centers on the interrelationship of magic and plants, with a focus on regiospecific plants with highly specialized adaptations. Of particular interest to me are conscious motile plant life; these range from the animalistic jacarandas and ibogas native to Elona to the sentient and social choya (also native to elona) and, as I'm sure was many of you first assumed by description, sylvari and mordrem.

What makes these groups interesting to compare is not only their intelligent capacity but also their independent origins. It is common knowledge that sylvari and mordrem are both the offspring, if not directly, of the late dragon Mordremoth; no doubt it is the dragon's joint domains of plant and mind that led to their sentient nature. Ibogas, jacarandas, and choya, however, not only arose from a continent far enough from Maguuma to make draconic involvement (at least on the part of the relevant dragon - I doubt Kralkatorric had anything to do with them due to the distinct absence of dracoresonant crystalline structures), but lack the empathetic "dream"/"dragon's call" connection to one another or to sylvari and mordrem. Magic may, of course, be involved in choya due to their unusual anatomy - I will spare the details for brevity - but if so it is entirely unrelated and not channeled from any known external source.

What is the significance of this? Well, beyond providing a greater perspective on the workings and biological diversity of life in our world, there is potential medical application to these findings. If none of these Elonian species can connect to the dream, then perhaps further study can reveal a way to provide severance from dragoncall for the Mordrem who seek a reprieve from its lingering echoes. Sylvari that find Soundless techniques too difficult to adapt to but nonetheless seek an escape from the Dream may also be interested in such treatment. It is far too early to do more than speculate on the mechanism of such treatment - particularly by myself, as my education did not incorporate Mending methods out of respect for the sylvari who were uninterested in sharing their secrets  - understandable due to the unfortunate history of inquest experimentation...but I digress. My first guess would be grafting, but the mind is a delicate and complex thing, and botanical grafting is not as simple as some would say.

Regardless, I hope my findings may help others in the future, even if I do not patent the mechanisms by which to do so. I would humbly ask that any interested in exploring these avenues do not seek a patent for profit motives, either, and that it is done out of the desire to help, not self-aggrandization.

If any of you among the audience are interested in the finer details of my research or in assisting my field work, I have left contact cards with my communicator frequency to be freely distributed at this event that I sadly cannot myself attend directly. Thank you.

[donutdrawsthings]

NO THIS POST IS NOT A DISCUSSION FORUM. EITHER KEEP SCROLLING OR VIBE WITH THE REST OF US

I thought I had already been clear on what my stance was on the matter, but after today I feel like I need to yell it off the top of my lungs. I SUPPORT ROETVEEG PIET AND BLM. LISTEN TO BLACK VOICES AND ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WRONGS.

(Information about the Dutch holiday and why it’s racist under the cut! includes extern sources and images!)

Summary

Sinterklaas is a Dutch tradition that starts at the first Saturday after 11 November and ends at 5 December. A figure called Sint Nicholaas comes on a boat from Spain to the Netherlands to celebrate his birthday on the 5th with his little helpers, the Zwarte Pieten. The Zwarte Pieten give candy to the kids and on the 5th kids get a gift from Sinterklaas.

The Racism (Black Pete)

All sounds fairly innocent, until you see what the Zwarte Pieten look like.

These are the traditional Zwarte Pieten (it translates to Black Petes btw). These individuals are usually played by white people and are purposely darkened to black with red lipstick, black curly hair and sometimes golden earrings. I have always been told the dark skin was to represent “soot” from the chimneys, however, up until recent years there was no effort made to actually appear as smeared. In fact, a lot of effort was put into making sure not a single speck of light skin was visible because that could ruin the illusion. (the illusion being, hiding your identity behind blackface.)

These characters are also played to be playful, hyperactive, carefree, happy to do their work and often praise Sinterklaas himself. Which are all traits often depicted alongside the “happy slave” stereotype from way back when and the S*mbo stereotype.

other racist depictions are also on display in stores and houses (often on display near a window for kids to see) in the form of little Black Petes, most of them resembling the G*lliw*g. (first image is a common window prop during Sinterklaas, the second image is the racist G*lliw*g)

This very outdated depiction of black people only really started being questioned in the early 2010′s. However, support for questioning Black Pete only started to become somewhat acceptable around 2016/2017... And even then the public has been largely Pro Black Pete until 2020, after the Black Lives Matter movement also started to become a valid topic of discussion in the Netherlands.

The Transition

Between 2010 and 2020 a lot happened since Black Pete officially got taken into question and talk about whether or not Black Pete should be changed started to become a genuine topic of discussion. When the question first rang, the majority of the Dutch folk were against the change. I was against this change as well. I think I should note that I was around 13 at the time and it is a very common phenomenon for kids to mimic the opinion of their parents and teachers. But this indeed a genuine opinion I had at some point and I acknowledge that with full responsibility. 

The main reasons everyone was against this change was because we did not see it as racist and were convinced the “goal” with this movement was to entirely remove Pete from the holiday or remove the holiday as a whole from the list.

I would also like to note that the Dutch folk’s opinion on what is and isn’t racist is very outdated as well. (As I write this now in 2020 it is still not a whole lot better but around the 2010′s it was definitely worse.) As this topic gained attraction, jokes about black men having huge dicks (the m*and*ngo stereotype), “watering the Africans” and much more were made to me and other people regularly enough to be normal or at the very least, were seen as a bit of a cheeky thing to say. And despite being a multicultural country, Asian people were still referred to as “Chinese”, Native Americans as “Indians” and Islamic women as “Penguins” as well.

But back on the topic. As the years went on, more and more protests against Black Pete gained attraction and by now parents started to use these protests as another reason to be against the change because “they are ruining it for the kids”  White parents would also start to praise the word of their 1 black colleague/friend for being against the change as well.

When the topic started to become more prominent, people made the attempt to change the Black of a Black Pete to another colour. This created the short lived bizarre creation of Rainbow Pete. (also seen in the picture above)

Rainbow Pete was a very short lived idea and was considered weird by many. However, I personally do believe this was an important step in the transition. Rainbow Pete took the depersonalisation tied to Black Pete and quite literally, showed its true colours. It’s ehhh hard to explain what “A Pete” is in English. But growing up I never considered them as human, nor were they ever explained to me as ACTUALLY being human. They are just described as a Pete, and a Pete is all they are. They aren’t people who can have other jobs in Spain or can travel the world to find something else to do. They are a Pete, and therefore they will always be with Sinterklaas in Spain, making toys for us, giving us candy and then going back to Spain with Sinterklaas again.

And that’s why I think this odd colour change was so important. Because by making them green or blue or pink it properly showed how ALIEN Petes felt. Like a whole other species. It tied a certain uncomfortable environment to the depersonalisation and after it’s short lived appearance, Soot Smudge Pete was a much easier step to make

Soot Smudge Pete, or in Dutch known as Roetveeg Pete, is the most recent and most inclusive variant of the Petes. This Pete only requires a few dark smudges to mimic actual soot and can be played by all races.

in 2018/19 Soot Petes started to become more present in the official parades, which a lot of parents were rather disgusted about. I personally think this is the period in which a lot of people just straight up outed themselves as racist, actively being against “White Pete” and actively longing for the “Real Petes” to return. Even with these Petes slowly becoming more popular, it is still not safe for most people who are against Black Pete to discuss the matter with Pro Black Pete individuals in this time period. Pro Black Pete individuals (often family or coworkers) more often than not become very heated when the topic arises and I cannot say I’ve ever seen the same attitude from people who are against Black Pete.

Present Day

In 2020, thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, it has become way more socially acceptable to support Soot Smudge Pete. Parents who are still Pro Black Pete are still vocally voicing their disgust every time Soot Petes are present instead of Black Petes and much like what happened to me back then, their opinions also seep through onto their children. With these people still present in Sinterklaas spaces it also sadly occurs they press their believes on Soot Petes by giving them too much soot and still giving them a black, curly wig.

However, with the way things are going right now and the positive, multicultural depiction present in the media, I believe we are finally on our way to a more positive environment for kids of all kinds of backgrounds!

Afterthoughts

This whole post sparked after I dealt with a nasty situation myself while playing a Soot Pete at my old Elementary school. I really wanted to play this role to tie a more positive view on Soot Petes with all the parents creating such a negative environment around the Sinterklaas times and thought I could take matters into my own hands. However, I was Sooted up by a Pro Black Pete mother and thus, nearly got as dark as my brown hair. (besides that I also have gender issues and despite the school knowing I’m called Josh, put me in a dress outfit,, but that’s a more personal issue) I was able to wipe most of it off by the time the kids came in, but not without sharing some discouraging words with my mother, who told me to “just suck it up”.

It’s really important to me for people to know how Bad stuff like that still is in this country and I just... don’t understand why people would still support Black Pete after all this time. These people are either friends, family, or just kind people I know and love who around November open their mouths to say the most vile things and create such a sour situation for everyone involved. And after Black Pete is proven to be racist time and time again, still supporting it... It makes me wonder if this has to do with pride more than anything.

No one wants to be called a racist, but is it really that hard to acknowledge some of the shit you said and did was just plain wrong to the point that you’re taking your opinion to new extremes and decide to die on a sinking ship..?

I’ve said racist things. I have compared the curly black hair of a Black Pete to black classmates. I have compared Black Pete to black classmates. I have joked about them not needing to be face painted to be just like Black Pete. I have made those connections and I’m ashamed I did. But you do what you can to deal with it and become better for those around you. You listen to black voices, support black artists and black businesses and become better as a person. We need to start acknowledging how much our society is actually structured to belittle and undervalue black people and you can’t do that when you’re THAT far up your own ass. 

phew... anyways. Black Lives Matter! Don’t use tradition to defend racism! Fijne Pakjesavond!!

[dragonflymage]

I went hunting around online for a list of values to choose from to elaborate on. Many lists only have single words like Amusement and Focus, which seems too vague and tells me nothing. I have longer descriptions in my head. So I suppose I’ll just work from scratch.

I ended up choosing several from an online list and included my own short definitions and reasons why they are important to me. These are Values that I have wanted in my life, guide me, and those that are important in my environment.

I apologize if some of my personal definitions don’t match up with whatever these Values may ‘normally’ mean. This is what they mean to me. 😅

I ended up choosing over 50 so I grouped them together by similarity.

Acceptance, Connection, Harmony, Meaning, Purpose, Truth - Represents some of what is important to me in relation to my entire life.

Acceptance of self and my flaws.

Making connections and understanding how and why I exist in the universe.

Harmony with energy, harmony with others.

What does it all mean?

What is my purpose for being? What is your purpose for being?

Will we ever learn the truth? Is there even a truth to learn?

Awareness, Curiosity, Discovery, Exploration, Growth, Inquisitive - Represents how I interact with the universe as a seeker.

Awareness is part of my internal search. Must keep aware of the changes and what they mean.

Curiosity is my favorite way to learn and grow.

There are so many new discoveries to unfold.

Exploration and seeking help with finding the discoveries.

Growth is an important reason for living. There is no life in stagnation.

Always remain inquisitive!

Knowledge, Learning, Skillfulness - The drive to know more. This works well with the above Awareness grouping.

Knowledge and the pull to have the answers to questions. Only, the more we know, the more we realize we don’t know.

Learning all that we can so that we can understand. This is an important goal for many, myself included. Not so that I have the knowledge, but so I can make sense of the blank spaces and gaps in my journey as a seeker.

Skillfulness comes from Learning and Knowledge. With these learned skills, we can help others along their journey.

Accountability, Patience, Sincerity - Represents what I admire in others, and strive for in myself.

I admire people who are accountable for their actions and behave responsibly for their choices. Good and bad.

Patience is truly an admirable trait. What’s the rush?

Genuine sincerity has become such a rarity. So beautiful to encounter.

Calm, Comfort, Enjoyment, Fun, Peace, Playfulness, Solitude, Tranquility - These are important in my environment.

Calmness is a major one due to the anxiety that I deal with.

Comfort, as in no uncomfortable sensations to my eyes, ears, and nose. Makes it easier to focus without discomfort.

I try to find at least one thing I enjoy every day.

If there is no fun in all that we do, why are we doing it?

Peace is important in relationships, as well as the environment.

Playfulness should never be removed from life! Helps to keep negativity away.

Solitude is a must, especially as an Introvert.

The same with tranquility, which is so energizing!

Careful, Common sense, Foresight, Insightful, Intelligence, Intuitive, Reflective, Serenity - These are important for safety and dealing with the harshness of society and people of the world.

We must always be careful. It isn’t paranoid to be aware of your environment.

If only more people would use common sense. Maybe it isn’t a natural trait?

Foresight involves common sense to loosely predict a potential situation. A good way to prevent society’s nonsense.

Insight is similar to foresight but on a quieter scale, relying on personal lessons and experience to interpret situations.

Intelligence is just necessary for life.

Intuitive is also similar to Foresight. It’s good to be prepared for whatever comes your way.

Reflective works well with Insight. Reflection on the universe, finding ways to piece everything together.

Serenity, similar to Tranquility, is important for the sake of the mind. It’s a feeling of mental peace.

Compassion, Empathy, Fairness, Kindness, Support, Thoughtful, Understanding - These are important in relationships and when interacting with other people.

Compassion should be one of the most important ways we interact. If we have no compassion for others, how can we expect to be deserving of compassion ourselves?

Empathy is also important in our interactions. Without it, we can never truly understand how our treatment of others can be helpful or harmful.

Fairness could be considered common sense, but as I mentioned above, it doesn’t seem to be a universal trait. I know most people see Fairness as meaning ‘being impartial and equal to everyone’. But I honestly believe it’s fair to treat bullies and harmful people in ways that make them accountable for their behavior. Fair enough.

Support is part of creating healthy relationships with those around us. It is another way we grow together as a community.

Thoughtfulness is sadly not a common value or trait on this world. Many people I have encountered out in society consider how everything benefits themselves first. I have seen this most often with parents who complain in mean ways about their own children. 😔

Understanding is ultimately what is necessary so the above fall into place. Understanding of self, understanding of others, and how we all fit together.

Creation, Creativity, Expressive, Imagination, Individuality, Openness, Originality, Uniqueness, Wonder - This group is important in showing our souls to the world.

What is more beautiful than creation? We can do this every day whenever we tug a piece of our soul and bring it to the outside.

Creativity, like Creation, is like a tiny whisper from the Universe. Art, music, stories… it is oneness.

Being expressive is another way to translate the inner into the outer. Such as with metaphors and poetry.

Imagination is probably one of my favorite of all values. It brings magic into our lives!

Individuality is also a must so we aren’t all identical. It is possible to be unique and find harmony within it.

Remaining Open to the limitless possibilities keeps us alive, unlike a closed mind which is unable to grow.

Originality is like Individuality. This involves discovering your true self and letting it bloom.

Uniqueness, again like Originality and Individuality. This keeps us from being like everyone else.

Wonder is important so we aren’t taking our lives and our environment for granted.

Feelings, Love, Passion, Sensitivity, Spirit - Emotions are like my oxygen, which I need to survive.

Feelings - I have them, you have them. The way we learn from feelings is by letting them expand so we can study them from all angles and grow from the knowledge they share.

Love also goes along with my Compassion grouping. Love of self, love of others… there are so many different kinds of love, both gentle and striking. Another way our souls speak to us.

Passion is the drive that inspires us to do what we do. It is the lit flame that burns and keeps us going, even when others may have given up. It fuels our creations, our relationships, and the internal search for “why”.

Sensitivity is what helps with empathy and makes us aware of the subtle shifts in the people and situations around us.

Spirit to me is our personal internal interpretation of ‘just what is the universe?’ Be it a religious answer, a logical answer, or the acceptance of the answer that maybe we are just too young a species to know or understand quite yet.

That was a peek into some of my values. There are probably many still missing (since I only chose from a list I found on a website). I’m not sure if I also included beliefs here, but perhaps some time in a different answer. 💗

(Here’s a link to the page where I selected the values from: Core Values List: Over 200 Personal Values to Live By Today)

Thanks for the question! 😊

[danceing-spelled-wrong]

I've created siblings.

Yes. I'm brain dead.

Yes I have too much time.

Yes I'm dying

And yes. They over lay with Amly

I guess I'll explain them..woo..

Cemi:

He came to Snaktooth Island because he was dragged there by his older sister

He's not a well known icon, but he's known for his modeling gigs

He gets crushes pretty easily and gets upset when they don't like him back

Even though he looks like he would never hurt anyone, he could hurt anyone and will do it

He's really good at hiding and publicly speaking

When he first stepped on the island, he met Eggabell and fell in love with her

Then he met Triffany and fell in love with her, then Wiggle, and lastly Floofty

He doesn't like his sister because she spends time with Floofty

He doesn't like Chandlo(he got confused and thought he was dating Floofty) or Gramble because they have a thing for his crushes

He covers his left eye due to incident with a wild animal but his sister took most of the fall for him

His hut is right beside his sister's hut which is near the woods

In town, he's known as a bit of a stalker

He's relatively popular despite him acting shy which might add to his "coolness" but that's up to perceptive

Beffica made him a bracelet and he always keeps it on

Even though Lizbert's with Eggabell, Cemi doesn't hate her along with Wambus

He goes out at night to..do whatever he wants

You meet him in the desert where he's stalking helping Triffany

Charlia:

She came to Snaktooth Island because she wanted to study the snaxs and get away from the city

She took a liking towards Floofty and Snorpy since they're siblings and she just so happened to bring her younger brother with her

Her and Floofty get along due to their fascination of the bugsnax and both missing their limbs

She uses a prosthetic arm due to an incident that happened when she was younger

Amly tried stealing her arm and now Charlia always keeps it on her no matter what

You find her in the Sugerpines not near Chandlo or Snorpy but closer towards the mountain

Sometimes, she lifts Cemi into the air because he's light weight and because she thinks it's cute when he tries to get out her grasp

If someone is older then her, then she'll refer to them as a Miss, Mr, Mrs, and Mx

Snorpy fixes her arm when it's broken or just isn't working

Lizbert sometimes invites her on expeditions that way Charlia can grab some test subjects

She doesn't eat the snax, seeing them as..gross but she thinks that of anything she consumes

The experiments she does aren't harsh like Floofty's but it still involves scalpels and jars of unused parts

Besides doing experiments, she really good at sports mainly basketball and football

Dialogue in game:

Cemi:

Filbo

"He's really cool! He once complimented my fur AND gave me a high five!"

Wambus

"I don't appreciate him eyeing my wife, I don't see why Filbo thinks he's so great."

Beffica

"O M G! Cemi is like, the coolest grumpus here! I gave him a bracelet and he hasn't taken it off yet!"

Gramble

"He doesn't..like me.."

Wiggle

"Darling..he followed me for a whole day! I'm no stranger to stalkers but this is just ridiculous!"

Snorpy

"No comment."

Cromdo

"All he does is stalk people and everyone still think he's such a great guy!"

Amly

"Isn't that the stalker? Cemy right? Geez..I don't try to steal from him in case it directs his attention towards me."

Triffany

"Cemi? Oh dear..he stood at mine and Wamby's doorway and watched me sleep all night.."

Chandlo

"He assumes I'm in a relationship with Floofty and now sends me death threats.."

Floofty

"I'm confused on how him and Charlia are related."

Shelda

"Absolutely no comment on that..thing!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would say yes..but they haven't said anything about the love letters I sent.."

Charlia

Filbo

"She's so sweet, I would love to have an older sister like her!"

Wambus

"I'd like to know why she doesn't slap some sense into her brother, maybe then he'd stop with the stalking."

Beffica

"Eh, I don't speak to her but I do know that her and Cemi are related..I see the resemblance, but they don't act the same."

Gramble

"Oh..she's..very kind..and she drops off some bugsnax if she ever catches an extra one!"

Wiggle

"A lot less..strange then her brother, I would ask why her brothers like that, but I have a feeling she's a bit like him in a way.."

Snorpy

"Charlia's arm would always break so I would be the one to fix it for her, she's quite a fan of my work, mainly because I also have a sibling who is..different."

Cromdo

"A two bit goody-two shoes is what she is! She's just as bad as Beffica, but worse!"

Amly

"I can't stand her, she's too nice to everyone and doesn't get upset when I steal stuff from her!"

Triffany

"I'm not around her a lot, but she sure is nice to talk to when we're near!"

Chandlo

"Any friend of Snorpy, is a friend of mine. She can also can jump pretty high, she's a great opponent in basketball!"

Floofty

"A curious type, like Triffany but can hold back her joy in favor of science, if only she'd let me experiment on her."

Shelda

"Nothing evil seems to be stemming from in her..but still..avoid at all cost!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would..but I've seen what they do..and I rather keep my other arm.."

Meeting Cemi

"Ah! Wambus! I'm not eyeing ya wife! I swear!"

*calm down, i'm not wambus*

"Oh thank grump! I don't want to be thrown again.."

"Who are you anyways? You here to stalk too?"

*explains*

"A journalist? Did Lizbert ask you to be here..or something?"

"Whatever. I'm Cemi Bowtwist, I'm a model, you a fan?"

*Come back to town?*

"Oh no! No no no! If I go back, Wambus will rip me to shreds!"

*what did you do?*

"I..um..was watching Triffany sleep."

*that's creepy*

"Hey! Can ya blame me? She's married AND hot!"

"So no. I'm not coming back to town. Not until Wambus forgives me for my action!"

*why should he?*

"Because..he has to agree..his wife is really hot.."

*Sure I guess*

"Wowy! Thank you so much!"

*Wambus agrees as long as you stop*

"Oh great..sure..I guess.."

"Alright, who else is in town?"

*Gramble, Beffica, Filbo, and Wambus*

"Oh great..is Wiggle in town? If she's there, then I'll definitely come back!"

*Wiggle's in town*

"Yes! My girl is back! Awooo!!"

"Ha ha! Alright buddy boy, I'm-"

"Woah! Wait! I got to bring something for her! Ahh!!"

"Hey boy..can you..get me a Sweetiefly? The ones in the shape of hearts? If I give it to her, she might forget I followed her for a day.."

*gives Lovely Sweetiefly*

"Thank you so much! I guess I'll see you in town then, ciao buddy boy!"

Meeting Charlia

"Oh hiya! I haven't seen you around before..you're that journalist Miss Megafig told me about, right?"

"I knew it! But..I guess you came for no reason, Miss Megafig gone missin'..whya still here?"

*explains*

"Oh! That's rather kinda of ya!"

"They call me Charlia! Charlia Bowtwist! Nice to meet cha!"

*Come back to town?*

"Town? Well..I do miss my hut..but I'm about to make a break through! I've been testing this Strabby and learned that bugsnax don't have organs!"

"With this..I can finally figure out what bugsnax are!"

"But I need more.."

"If ya don't mind bitsy..could you get me a..oh..a Weenyworm and a Cinnasnail? If it's no trouble."

*got the worm and snail*

"Perfect! They'll do perfectly!"

"Hm..just as I expected, no organs! But that doesn't explain why they don't, maybe they're their own species? How come Miss Megafig is the only grumpus who discovered them?"

"So many unknown answers! I gotta get more info!"

"Maybe Mx Fizzlebean could help me..hey..are they in town?"

"If so..can you ask them if they're willing to help me with my studies."

*Floofty says they're gonna help*

"I always liked that grumpus...*sigh*.."

"I'm comin' back! I'll see ya in town bitsy!"

Welcome back message:

Cemi

"Hello Wiggle!"

"Oh..you.."

"I..brought you some Sweetieflies!"

"Cemi. I appreciate the thought..but this doesn't fix the fact you stalked me for a whole day!"

"I was making sure..you were safe!"

"....."

"How about a walk on the beach?"

"....."

"Hehehe.."

"......"

"I'll..just..leave them here.."

"......"

"Um..bye!"

Charlia

"Oh..hey sis."

"Baby brother! I'm so happy you're here!"

"Yeah..happy to see you too.."

"What brings you back anywho?"

"All my crushes are back and I plan to ask one out."

"I wish the best of luck to you little brother!"

"What about you?"

"Me and Mx Fizzlebean are gonna study Bugsanx again."

"Oh..well..can you hook me up with them? Tell them how cool I am?

"Sorry brother, they're just not interested in you."

"Yet."

"You really have a problem."

"No. You do."

"...."

"...."

"Well bye Ce!"

"Cya Char."

Interviews

Interviewing Cemi:

*Have time for an interview?*

"Of course, I'm always open for an interview!"

*Who are you?*

"The names Cemi Bowtwist, beginner model, lady master, and Grump City's most eligible bachelor!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

"I didn't want to come here, I had my mansion and my fame but my sister dragged me here."

"That's because you've been living under a rock. Duh."

*Thoughts on Bugsnax*

"Amazing, delicious, and will get me a lover!"

*If you're famous, shouldn't it be easy to find a lover?*

"Um..skip."

*Why did you leave town?*

"*sigh*"

"When Triffany and Wambus split, I tried going after her to see if I could romance her..and when I failed I came back and..Wambus was waiting there.."

"Safe to say I got out of there before he could land a blow."

*Maybe you should stop going after peoples wives*

"Eh.."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Meh..I don't really like her all that much. The only reason I involved myself with her was because she was the girlfriend of Eggabell."

*Another crush?*

"I've been single since I was a teen, give me a break."

*What happened to Lizbert?*

"Her and Eggabell had an argument and I tried getting with Eggabell before they made up but then they went missing, so sadly..I have no idea."

*That'll be it, thank you!*

"That was nice! I enjoy interviews very much!"

"I also found..this..laying around..so..here."

"Now I'm gonna try to get Floofty's attention, cya!"

*you received a strange key*

Interviewing Charlia:

*Have time for an interview?*

"I'm always open to chat about my experiments!"

*Who are you?*

"Charlia Bowtwist! Eldest of the two!"

*Two?*

"Yeah! I have a younger brother! He's the cutest thing ever!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

*Why did you want to escape?*

*Thoughts on Bugsnax?*

"They're really interesting and confusing..like..what are they really? And why is everyone interested in eating them? I know Miss Megafig said they were safe..but I don't get it.."

*Then what do you do with the Bugsnax?*

"Unlike everyone else..I study them and figure out why they change everyone's limbs, Mx Fizzlebean said if I want my arm back, I could eat one..but..I think that wouldn't work very much.."

*How did you lose your arm?*

"An accident regarding an animal when I was a kid..well..it was my brothers fault but I took most of the damage for him."

*Why did you leave town*

"I left..because the fighting was too much, I'm not new to arguments..but the screaming and constant fighting was too much to handle, so I left around when Snorpy and Mr Funkbun left."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Miss Megafig is really nice grumpus! She shows me the ropes of catching the snax and talks to me about personal issues, I liked speaking with her a lot!"

*What happened to Lizbert*

"I'm not sure..I was asleep when she and Eggabell went missing.."

"According to Mx Fizzlebean, they had an argument before they disappeared..so..maybe they're sorting things out on a secret part of the island!"

"That was rather quick..but fun!"

"You know..I found this earlier, here, you seem to be interested in this investigation stuff!"

*You were given a journal with a lock*

Reaction to death when and after:

Cemi

"H-Huh? Charlia..?"

"Why was I so mean to her..she..she just wanted to help me..and I shoved her away..

She didn't deserve to go..I was being a jerk..why did..those things..take her?

They knew didn't they?

About her suffering?

That's why they took her..

I need to be alone..go away.."

Charlia

"Noooooooo! Cemi no! Please grump no!! Don't..please..come back.."

"This has to be a dream..please..say it's a dream..he..he's not dead..no..

I'm a terrible big sister! I deserved to go, not him! Why take him you..you evil creatures of hell?!

Just..take me..please..I..I want to leave..please..take me..

Go away..please."

No more OCs. I can't be bothered to make more concepts..

[clockworklozenges]

So, I think it may be time to regale you with the story of the worst heist that I, as a player, was involved in. It was in 3.5e, and genasi were a thing (thanks to the planetouched book) and with the DM getting the Savage Species book (those who read my post about Damien Fucking Bloodmoon will see where this is going, and that it will be going poorly) our group, fresh off an embarrassing TPK to what were, ostensibly, Minions who were aware of their existence being heresy in the eyes of Mother Nature, Father Time and Kooky Uncle Pop Culture - before the advent of the yellow tic-tac banana fetishists - decided that it was time for what could charitably be called the "monstrous regiment".

More accurately, it was Car Crash DnD.

The Monstrous Regiment was a mercenary group formed of the surviving crew of a plane-crossing Spelljammer vessel which had crashed in the Forgotten Realms, leaving most of the crew as social outcasts deemed as enemies of civilisation (fair enough with General Nibbles the Cannibal Goblin, though he insisted on proper table manners when eating people he respected) by the world at large, as we were all what many would deem 'exotic' or 'monster' races.

We had General Nibbles the Cannibal Goblin (not a general, General was his first name because he ate a general once and saved the nameplate from his desk, which he used as sunglasses), a Ranger who was the ship's cook and also had a level in rogue for the acquisition of what could charitably called "mystery meats". We had Table, who was a humanoid-shaped mimic bard, who could only communicate in nouns. This sounds like a handicap, but he effectively became a stellar country music singer. He was somehow the party face, since our other party members were an owlbear cleric who thought he was a bee (a big one, though. He was delusional, but not stupid), a zombie orc fighter called Mighty Green Chad and myself. I was playing as a water elemental Sorcerer called Andalf, who had water themed spells, but had been affected by the crash of the Spelljammer, making it so that he would, in moments of extreme emotional stress, explosively transform into a fire elemental called Malrog, whose spells and personality were much more firey and damaging than the calm and supportive Andalf.

An important note for later is that I could not choose when I changed between Andalf and Malrog. The DM would give me a Will Saving throw with a changing DC depending on the situation, and if I failed I changed, if I passed then I would sustain the form I had.

We had found that, in order to fix our ship and leave Ed Greenwood's magical prostitution brothel realm, we needed the aid of a wizard, who was trapped in his tower under house arrest. The key to the tower was stored in the Inn, where we had to disguise ourselves to even enter. In this respect, General Nibbles made a passable gnome (we did not ask him where he 'found' the skin-suit, but noticed that the gnomish population was less and less prominent with each day we remained in the town), and Chad, Table, Bee and myself used illusion spells and shapeshifting magic to blend in. We needed the key, and Andalf, the calm and collected Sorcerer with no damage spells at all, devised a plan of genius equivalent to the innovative spark of whichever fellow decided to stab bread before selling it.

Firstly, we have General Nibbles...do his thing and run diversionary tactics to distract the town guards, since two of the ten are always at the wizard tower, Nibbles will be given firebombs and potions to increase his speed and stealth, whereupon he'll use his chloroform (um. Don't, uh, don't ask why he has that) to give one of the bar staff a "surprise day off".

Table will mimic the...holidaying staff member, and ensure that they can ingratiate themselves with the Inn customers.

Chad, Bee and Andalf will enter as bar patrons, and whilst Chad and Bee entertain the crowd with what they certainly thought was a humorous stand up comedy routine, Andalf will distract the innkeeper and see if he can access the safe using his enchantment spells.

We leave.

Profit.

Things didn't go as planned.

For a start, Nibbles got...peckish, and ate the waiter Table was meant to become, accidentally used an explosive arrow on the second waiter we tried to ambush and exploded him, and ended up carrying the one we actually got intact with him for his part of the plan, acting like he was starring in discount, arsonist Ratatouille, dragging the unconscious waiter behind him. This meant that the bar staff was whittled down to just the innkeeper, the cook and Table.

Table himself decided, after seeing rich guests, to start doing a precarious dance and using enchantments to lock those aforementioned rich guests in their ensuites and rob them blind, meaning that nobody is keeping watch on the door, me or the civilians (especially since most think they're chickens clucking away in ensuites more like indoor outhouses than bathrooms, and the others are transfixed by the bizarre antics of Bee and Mighty Green Chad).

Bee and Mighty Green Chad get drunk, make friends and then take over the stage, performing karaoke, ventriloquism, expressive dance and a 'comedy' routine which relied on two things: one, that the audience knows that they're an owlbear and a zomborc and two, that the audience is so drunk that they would laugh at James Corden making fart noises during an Adam Sandler film. Fortunately, the bar patrons had passed that point and had reached "you're my best pal, you know" and teetering on the "you fancy a kebab? I fancy a kebab, let's get a kebab, no, the health rating doesn't matter, I fancy a kebab" stage of drunkenness.

This does mean that, of the people in the bar, the only clear-headed people are either me, the innkeeper or an abruptly kleptomaniacal mimic. The cook doesn't count as Nibbles had finished his jobs and had stuffed both the cook and the waiter into a barrel of ale, which he was also sampling judiciously.

After, the DM remarked that Nibbles thought it a fine vintage, if a bit too flammable for his tastes.

So, to sum up- the guests are trapped in their bathrooms clucking their lives away, our spy is robbing purses, our demo man is drinking not-yet-quite-corpses wine in the yard and our muscle is drunk and acting out the Two Ronnies Fork Handles sketch in slurred Scottish accents. With all this, Andalf walks in and I hear the dreaded...

"Make a Will Save"

I pass, but only just, and sweet-talk the innkeeper, using Andalf's silver tongue and high Concentration skill to get into the back room and maintain my illusory Antonio Banderas face (judge me all you want, I have taste in fake faces), and she leaves the room to get some Elven wine from the next room. With only a thin wooden wall between me and her, I find the key, but to grab it is a risk...and of course...

"Make me a Will Save"

And whilst I get the key from the draw...I fail the will save, becoming Malrog, flinging the key across the room and causing the innkeeper to rush back in, howling about a demon who burned up the man she was seducing. Then she sees the fire.

So, as part of the transformation, the DM flavoured it as a small wave of flame or water pulsing outwards from the now-Malrog or now-Andalf respectively. Whilst it did a tiny amount of damage, the flame burst from the Andalf to Malrog transformation would ignite anything flammable in a 10-foot radius around me. This includes wooden floors, ceilings, furniture and, sadly, innkeepers.

So, the innkeeper runs out screaming about a demon (and being on fire, which is understandable when you're on fire) and leaves me alone, the key in a raging inferno near the safe, the room on fire and the fire spreading into the rooms filled with alcohol. And as I reach into the fire...

"Make me a Will Save"

Upstairs, the party have noticed the fire, and whilst Table the mimic leaves out the back window (landing on Nibbles), Bee and Chad drunkenly herd equally drunken civilians out, vaguely aware that the Very Hungry Goblin out back ate the waiters responsible for putting fires out, and the guards are dealing with multiple smaller fires across town.

I fail the will save, burning myself on the key, which causes me to re-transform after another failed will save, melting the safe key in my hand and causing the alcohol to explode, making the inn begin to crumble around me.

Bee and Chad are eagerly trying to get out, to the point where they're just throwing commoners out of the windows and through the walls to get them out of the way. They escape, and hurriedly leave before the cops turn up.

Faced with death, Malrog burns up all his spells to try Melt his way into the safe since the key is gone. This melts the safe shut. As a result of the stress from thoroughly beansing up the one job I had, I change back, and now begin to take fire damage as well as bludgeoning from the falling debris.

We did all escape, thanks to Nibbles being unable to resist the smell of cooking flesh and finding our unconscious bodies. However, the inn burned down, the innkeeper mourned Antonio Banderas and we left that wizard to die of starvation in his tower, along with the town.

After all, it pays to know when your welcome is worn out, and when it is burned to cinders.

[dragonnan]

WIP Challenge

WIP Challenge!! Tell your blog the titles of all the WIPs you are currently working on right now and a little about them and then tag five other writers.Another posting challenge I saw that appeals to meTagged by: nobodyDisclaimer: I'm only "actively" working on a handful of these.  I deeply want to finish all of them but some that have lingered for years are of a lower priority.  I also can't write for more than 2 fandoms at any given time and right now the two that interest me are MCU related and Sherlock.

1.  Sed Diabolus (MCU)

Takes place soon after Endgame.  Due to the nature of the multiverse it is both compliant and non-compliant to the film as well as being both a fix-it as well as making shit significantly worse.  The story is structured around Peter Parker - who returned, with everyone else, with the snap that restored everyone to life.  The difference is that he won't wake up.  Meanwhile, in another universe, Peter Parker has recently returned from from Europe.  Left to skulk around Queens at night, now that his identity has been revealed, he is feeling more lost than ever before.  Meanwhile Doctor Strange, back in the other universe, has been called upon to rescue the comatose Peter - and a startling truth is revealed!  What will it take to restore Peter once again?  Worse still, an old enemy of Stephen's has returned.  And a new enemy threatens to destroy everything they'd won with the defeat of Thanos.

2. Avengers: New Beginnings (MCU)

This is also an Endgame fix-it.  This is actually the first fix-it idea I had but then @kitcat992 and I started brainstorming Diabolus and I got extremely side-tracked.  In this one, the focus is more specifically on Tony Stark and the fact that he's been having horrific nightmares.  The thing is, according to Stephen Strange, they aren't nightmares but memories that come from another universe.  The story will involve repairing the fractures in the universe caused by the use of the gauntlet as well as looking at the various Avengers as the go forward from the defeat of Thanos.  There will also be the introduction of Kamala Khan and how, exactly, her powers came to be.

3. The Fire in Which We Burn (Sherlock)

Molly Hooper-centric.  Set immediately after TFP (with a thick dose of establishing history in the first chapter).  In essence this story developed from the question "what was upsetting Molly just before Sherlock made That Call"?  It also provides context for how she could go from speaking about Tom in glowing terms during TEH to stabbing his hand in TST.  Snatching back terminology from the jaws of obscurity this story relights on a ton of UST (unresolved sexual tension for the fandom young).  There is also a lot of Mycroft and Anthea involvement.  As to the actual story-line it involves an ex of Molly's who got dangerous.  The story will be about her dealing with said ex and the shit going on between herself and Sherlock.  Is anything salvageable from all of this?  Is it even worth discussing?  

4. Oompa Loompa Doom-Pa-Dee-Die (Psych)

Originally this story was part of a huge Virtual 9th Season set after the end of the series.  Myself and about 6 or 7 other writers had plotted out in tremendous detail a connected story arc that would carry through 8 episodes (originally 16).  This story was set to be the 5th episode.  Sadly, after many years of trying to make the VS happen, I finally contacted the various writers and we agreed to let it go.  However, as this story was fully plotted and was a bit of writing that I remain very proud of, I reworked it to function as a stand-alone story.  Basically, Shawn and Gus end up finding themselves involved in a murder investigation at a chocolate factory.  As is likely evident from the title, the themes in this fic draw very heavily from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film.  There are actually two rival chocolate factories run by two sisters who have been rivals since their youth.  Their father, the former owner of the first factory, is fan-cast as, of course, Gene Wilder.  There are a lot of mysterious elements, humor, and hopefully a decent twist by the end.

5. Simon and Simon and Psych (Psych and Simon & Simon crossover)

In spite of letting this thing linger so long I’m actually pretty excited about it still.  The basic story plot is that Rick and AJ Simon travel to Santa Barbara so that AJ can compete in the annual (and real) half marathon.  Of course things go sideways when Rick gets caught up in a drug trafficking scheme with him as the accused.  To make matters worse, Shawn, Gus, and AJ all get caught and kidnapped while investigating the drug traffickers.  The one thing I’m especially excited about this story is bringing Rick and AJ into modern times with a few changes to their personal history.  It’s a lot of fun having them banter about websites and politics and stuff of that nature.

6. The Big Stink (Supernatural)

My very first foray into fanfic for this fandom I started this thing years ago when I had already become frustrated by the direction of the series.  I wanted to recapture what had originally made me love the show and that was the story of two brothers fighting monsters - no more no less.  The story is built around Dean being cursed to constantly have a terrible smell in his nose - which also affects his sense of taste.  While initially humorous the side effects of something like that become gradually worse as if not only makes eating and drinking awful but also leaves him constantly nauseous.  The story is about the boys backtracking their movements to figure out who or what put the whammy on Dean as well as trying to work out how to break the curse.  

7. Asgårdsreia (HTTYD)

Right off the bat I made the mistake of starting this fic before properly plotting out the story first - thus the initial reason why it was left hanging.  Then the third film hit with its swath of disappointment and I’ve been somewhat less than eager to get back to it.  So the story, as it stands, is that the Viking clan is in the midst of celebrating Fyr Bal (basically “fire festival”).  Most of the clans join together at this time with each clan taking a turn to host on their year.  That year it’s Berk’s turn to host - much to Hiccup’s dismay.  He’s especially off-put by certain visiting clans eyeing him like a side of beef for their eligible daughters.  So, needing some escape, he takes Toothless out to survey some unexplored islands in search of new dragon species (basically the typical shit he’s been getting up to in Race to the Edge as well as the second movie).  Things go severely awry, however, when he comes across some dragon hunters and is hit with a bolo - breaking his left leg and making it impossible to operate the pedal used to fly Toothless.  Forced to shift on his side and fly by using one hand on the pedal, he and Toothless eventually crash land on a deserted island.  Now, badly injured and with no way to escape, they’re forced to run from the dragon hunters who followed in their wake.  

Tagging: @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace @kitcat992 @sgam76 @mizjoely @ariaadagio @aelaer    

[griffelkinn]

Letter to a Man

I wish all men would read this letter. I am a woman who is attracted to men. But it seems impossible to find romance and friendship with a man, as much as I wish I could.

This is a letter I wrote to a man I met on Okcupid, and started a friendship with, and then ended the friendship shortly after.

The reason that I ended the friendship was because while we were on a hike, he began talking at length about his feelings that men suffer from oppression and women are privileged. He also emotionally defended incels and misogynists, and said women needed to be kinder to them. He also expressed sympathy toward rapists.

After our hike, we texted, and he continued expressing supportive feelings toward misogynists. And so over text, I said that I felt we should part ways, and shouldn’t hang out anymore. After that, he sent me a letter in the mail, and I wrote him this letter in return.

I wish all men could read this letter...

“Brian,

I didn't want to cause you pain or sadness, the other day. I knew that I probably did, and that made me feel pain myself.

Your letter was very thoughtful, and I was glad to read it. I appreciated the time you took to write it, and your sincerity. I do hope you'll read this letter, and know that it is a very serious and honest outpouring of my feelings. I want you to understand. I know it might seem like a wall of text, but every word of it feels important to tell you.

When I first moved to San Francisco, my very first friend in the whole state was a guy named Roger. We got along really well, and immediately became very close, and had fun together constantly. We cooked, and lay in the park, and got drunk, and joked around, and tried new snacks, and got ice cream on hot days, and even got some acid on the street and tripped together on Halloween to Nightmare Before Christmas. We were super close for months. Then he randomly started passionately ranting about how rape is a very mild crime, and people shouldn't get too bothered if it happens to them, or punished for doing it either. He went on about how rapists were usually molested at some point, and they deserved sympathy. Not to have their lives negatively impacted by getting in trouble for raping someone. Also, that they can't help doing it, like it's a nervous tic. We talked and argued about it for hours. All of those points. Finally I left, because I was shaking with anger and emotion, and he was very passionately defending everything he'd said with no moving at all.

I was especially shaken by his tirade because it was an exact echo of the many tirades the violent psycho I was trapped living with years ago used to go on. All of those points were favorites of his to passionately rant about. That guy had also been my best friend, before I got a place with him (accessible only by his truck), and also before he dropped his carefully-constructed façade of a great person. He also used to rant about how 15-year-old girls are the most appropriate breeding partners for men, and how women's sports are a joke, and how girls are biologically inclined to bear children and take care of them. Also that men are currently generously "allowing their women to become educated". He had been jailed for rape. He was sadistic, in ways I could never describe.

I didn't see my friend Roger anymore after that. All of his weird rapist-support arguments were so similar to the psycho's, and also extremely suggestive of his own tendencies. He did later tell me in a text that he was one of the rapists he was defending.

Later when I was working at Whole Foods, I became really good friends with this guy named Greg, who also worked there. We became instantly great buddies, and did all kinds of stuff together. We went on road trips, went out for pizza regularly, and learned how to make silicone molds and castings together. We were both really into art and painting. We swapped comics, and discovered Stranger Things together. I actually started getting a crush on him, which was a big thing for me. Then one night we were parked in front of my apartment, cause he was dropping me off after we'd spent a whole day having fun around the city and then making molds at his apartment. We didn't even want to say good night, because we wanted to keep hanging out and talking. We started talking about how we were both really happy that we'd become friends. And then he told me that his last best friend and him had parted badly, and he was disappointed. So then, I told him I'd had something similar happen, and I told him about Roger. I told him about the argument me and Roger had had about rape and rapists, and how that had ended the friendship, and how sad it was. And then Greg said "Well, it does make you think..." And I asked what about. And he then launched into a passionate rant feeling sorry for rapists. I think my jaw hung down 3 feet. I was just stunned. He started talking about Brock Turner, the rapist from a few years ago who was all over the news. The one who got barely any jail time, because the judge felt sorry for him and didn't want his life negatively impacted by his raping that girl.

Greg went on and on about how it was terrible that Brock Turner was going to be known as a rapist now, and how sad that was for him. He'd made one tiny little mistake anyone could make, and now he's gonna be thought of badly. He didn't seem aware of the other person involved whose life actually was negatively impacted. I argued all of his ideas about his "tiny mistake", and also how sad it was for him now. I wanted to understand why Greg was saying this stuff. I must be misunderstanding. We talked about it until 4 in the morning in the car, until finally I had to go inside, because clearly there was no misunderstanding.

As soon as I got into my apartment, I cried on my couch. I was so sad, because I liked Greg so much, and this was how he was. I knew our friendship was over. We decided to get together the next night and see if there was really a misunderstanding that maybe we could figure out had happened. At a bar, he told me it's his nature, when he sees a viewpoint that's hard to agree with at first, to try to figure out a way it could be agreed with. He's just really intelligent and quick and enjoys doing that. That was obviously not what was happening.

Before meeting you on Okcupid, I'd met one other guy this year. He told me he'd forced himself sexually on a girl once, and he was sorry for it now.

A friend I met while living in Maine for a while years ago (between CA and FL) was a guy named Doug, I met on Okcupid. He assaulted me.

Another friend I met on Okcupid in that same stay was a guy named Nate. He assaulted me.

I wanted to tell you about Roger and Greg, because they are really what led to my action after our text conversation. When you and me were walking that day, I didn't react much at the time, but I was very unsettled when you mentioned how rapists were usually molested themselves. I've been just confused and frustrated that I very rarely meet a man who doesn't sympathize with rapists or misogynists. It's like 1 in a million. When you said that, I was internally thinking, you probably feel like Roger and Greg. When you said that you like to try to see the side of people who have an extreme viewpoint, and that's why you tried to see the side of misogynists, it sounded exactly like Greg later explaining his rape-sympathizing.

I know I had lots of fun kayaking with you, and playing 7 Days to Die, and talking about tripping, and watching Chappie. The letter you wrote me was really thoughtful, and made me feel how much you care and how much you were focused on self-awareness, which is really awesome.

I told you about Doug and Nate, because I want you to understand why I have so much hesitancy about hanging out. Sadly, since we haven't known each other long, I am strongly affected by the percentage of times I've made a male friend and had them assault me or reveal that they support rapists.

Those examples are not the only times I've been assaulted.

In my opinion, the number-one cause of the extreme amount of rapists, is how much support rapists get. And misogynists. 99.9% men seem to support them. Male rappers and sportsmen remain heroes after assaulting women. Male judges give rapists such light sentencing that it seems less serious than drug crimes or theft. Movies and tv show heroes and "cool" characters are often raping and joking about it. Everywhere, whenever I turn on the tv it seems like.

I remember when I was a kid, and I used to run around town playing with this big group of all the town kids, and we were all friends. I had some really great friends who were boys, who lived around me, and we used to hang out and mess around and we didn't see each other as a different species. We hadn't been brainwashed yet. It makes me deeply sad that that kind of camaraderie between men and women seems like a fantasy now. I hope it's still around.

It's so upsetting to think about that stuff, and I am filled with so much unease when I'm around people who I think might see me as a "woman-creature" that can never be understood or related to. I walk around thinking in the back of my mind that I might have a violent encounter at any given time, and I'm prepared for it mentally. I'm positive there will be more in the future.

I really want you to understand me, because I don't want you to feel bad or upset or hurt or offended. I know that I offended you and hurt you when I said I thought you were a man like those others. All I knew was that you were saying things that they all say, and that it has hurt me deeply to hear those things from friends in the past. It hurt so much that it makes me not want to risk becoming very close when there's any indication that those feelings about rapists and misogynists are part of someone. From your letter it sounds like you also empathize with those who are hurt by misogyny. You feel bad for your misogynist and racist uncle, and for all others. And empathy is a wonderful quality. Empathy is one of the most important things to have. And the most respectable. But I do think the cause of so much misogyny and rape is this overabundance of sympathy for them (and far too little for the people who are actually seriously hurt by them).

I don't want bad feelings between us. I want good feelings. I have good feelings toward you. I am just sad and tired and just... confused and frustrated that I've never met a man who just completely was angry and disgusted with rapists and misogynists, and spoke as passionately about that as they so often speak passionately about sympathizing with them. I don't know what that means for the state of people right now. I don't say this to single you out or to try and make you feel bad. It's just something I've been thinking a lot about, that's got me down. And hearing certain arguments and opinions about that stuff so often makes me feel down. Also, there were other things you said during our hike that made it seem like you were very emotionally into the idea that men have it harder than women. It really seemed like something you think about a lot and feel strongly about. I was walking in a constant state of "What-the?". Maybe that's not true. It just seemed like a continuous vibe.

I hope you understand that I didn't end things with us out of anything personal with you. I really enjoyed most of our times together, and I will remember them with happiness. I hope you make many more beautiful potteries, and have fun and happiness. Empathy is a great thing to have, it's just that those specific sympathies make me very unhappy to be around, in a really big way, now.

-C”

[eloarei]

1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 13, 17, 23 (some of these are random and some aren't)

Thanks for the many questions, Socks! Sorry I didn’t answer them earlier; I decided answering asks on mobile sucks.  ALSO, this is going to be super long haha sorry.  1.  Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?       Well, my most current project is one I just started brainstorming. It’s (hopefully gonna be) a Fallout 3 series, with my latest fic being the starting point. LW/Fawkes is a ship I liked immediately when I played the series some years ago, but I never got around to writing for it, probably in part because there’s already a super good longfic about them, and I just didn’t think there was much else I could say. But my LW is different from Choco’s LW, and lately I wanted to start something self-indulgent. Although I have enough ideas for this to maybe be a single 30k fic, I’m choosing to do a series of shortfics instead, so that I’m not burdening myself with another long project. Fic series are great in that way, because it’s basically complete with every new fic.       On top of that, I have... probably 3 other things I want to make significant progress on this year. First is another Fallout fic: Same Heart. I’ve posted 8 chapters already and have almost 2 more done, but due to the slow-build nature of it (and my tagging) I don’t expect to have almost any readers until at least chapter 10 (when the ship characters finally meet). I’d like to at least get that far this year.       A project I’d love to finish by fall is the unreleased “The Wilderness”, a Venom zombie AU that I started for NaNoWriMo 2 years ago. It’s about 55% written, and my goal is to have as much of it done as possible before the sequel movie comes out. If it’s not done by then, I still plan to post whatever I have.       And lastly-ish, my novel... thing. Rogue. I’m in the process of editing it, although I’ve taken kind of a break lately. And as soon as I’m done with the edits and can get a couple of people to read it (just so they can tell me if certain parts are stupid and need changed) I plan to start the next book in the series... which will probably end up being book #1, actually, if I do them modern-era chronologically. It’s... gonna be a process. ^^;  2.  Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.       In my upcoming FO3 fic series, I’m honestly just kind of weirdly looking forward to... how do I put this? Exploring my own vaguely-traumatic experiences through fic. I’ll always do a happy ending, if possible, but before we get there I really want to run these two through the ringer of... being given something they were led to believe was impossible, being judged for it, having it taken away, and then being told “well maybe it’s for the best”.       When it comes to future projects, I guess I’m really excited about writing the new Rogue book. “Reaper”, I guess, is its unimaginative working title. I’m anxious about it, because I thought Rogue had some really deeply emotional scenes, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to accomplish that as well with this new one, simply because the characters don’t have the same level of desperation about each other. I need to figure out what’s unique about their dynamic and push that. I guess I’m looking forward to the challenge.  3.  What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)       Hmm gosh. Technically there’s a scene in the later chapters of Mobius that I already wrote, but it wouldn’t take place until probably chapter 3 or later, and I just lost all steam on that fic, sadly. But every time I poke through my notes I make myself cry reading it. It’s a scene where one character knows it’s going to be the last time he sees the person he loves most, and he can’t explain his pain to anyone. I really just want to get there so I can see if it makes other people cry like babies haha.       But on a completely unrelated note, there’s also this ZADR fic I started writing in like 2009, and I absolutely didn’t want to do the work to get to the fun middle scenes, but basically it was an AU where young adult Dib went to live/work in the thriving multi-species space community, where he’s... I dunno, studying alien biology I think?, and he ends up with Zim as a roommate. The scenes I really wanted to write were about the two of them getting into like a bar fight with some tough types, and Zim gets his pak ripped off/damaged in the process, and Dib has to sort of take care of him through a horrible fever. But then it turns out that the pak was not a life-support system like they thought, but actually a growth inhibitor so they (the people in charge of the Irkens) could choose who became the Tallest (the leaders). (And also it hindered reproduction, etc.) So basically the two of them accidentally start to unravel a galactic conspiracy which also involves corruption in the Earth government, etc, and Zim gets taller but spoiler alert, he still doesn’t get tall enough to challenge the Tallest lol. Sadly, I doubt I’ll ever actually write that fic. Sounds like too much effort lol.  7.  What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?       That’s such a hard question. Ummm. How do I put any of that into words? ...I think one of the things about my writing is that a lot of the time nothing really happens in a scene, and the story mostly focuses on a character thinking. Like, enough happens so there’s something for them to think about, but I think I tend to put a lot of emphasis on POV character’s thoughts, to the point of sometimes seeming stream-of-consciousness. I’ve been told that this makes my stories feel alive though? So I think it appeals to some people, though I’m sure others would find such stories boring.       Oh also, somewhat along these lines, I like to add commentary that is only somewhat relevant, usually in parenthesis at the end of a sentence or paragraph. (Honestly, it’s not unusual to see one in every paragraph if I’m writing something slightly humorous.)  9.  Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?      I would LOVE to write primarily longfics! However, I just don’t have the time or energy for it, and I don’t write fast enough. So I end up with a lot of oneshots under 10k. I had to challenge myself to learn to write short things though, and then it’s really about writing something short, not about writing a specific story.       Generally, I’m both pantster and plotter. I tend to write the first chapter/few scenes/maybe as much as 10k, just by the seat of my pants. After that, I look at what I’ve got and write out a plot to continue from there. Plotting everything out before I start just doesn’t work for me, but if I try “pantsing” anything longer than 15k I know I’m gonna have an absolute torturous hell of a time.  13.  Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?      Lol I think anyone who’s reading this knows I share my stuff online. Primarily on my AO3, though there’s some other stuff floating around here on tumblr too.  Most of the time if I keep something to myself it’s only because it’s not finish enough to share. So, sure, there’s plenty of that, but the goal is always to share it eventually. If I ever get around to finishing a novel, those will probably be the only things I don’t just post online. (Though I do post most of my OC stuff currently.)  17.  Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?       I think that inevitably my readers will always perceive me and my writing a bit differently than I do. That’s just... interacting with people. Nobody knows you entirely. However, I am as open and honest in my writing as possible, and I actually think that reading my fic is the best way to get to know me. I like to hope that I am an open book to anyone who has read many of my words. =] While you may not know the details of my life, I think you would have a good insight into my personality.    23.  What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?       Like... my oldest fic/story that I’ve never written or posted? Not counting stuff I’ve consciously abandoned (things from middle school, mostly), my original fic series, “Damsel and Company in Distress” aka DamselCo. is definitely my oldest story. I think I started fiddling with it in 2006-- which makes it pretty disappointing that it’s gotten next to nowhere. XD; But the story is my baby, and it’s been my baby for so long that anyone who’s followed me ever is probably at least vaguely familiar with a few of the characters.  Now maybe one day I’ll actually give it the attention it deserves, though I’m sure it’ll need significant revamping. After all, a lot has changed in 14+ years. Ideas that were new and subversive then are probably already stale. 

[messinwitheddie]

Did Mem have smeets the old way or are all of them adopted?

(Mem has quite a story to tell. Brace yourself.)

Mem "Sadly, I did not become a mother by choice at first. Some of my smeets are not Irken, but children of various species orphaned by the Armada's warpath. They have been left in my care by the Resisty. I look after them like my own in exchange for snacks, I have not heard from the rebel militia in quite some time. Our rations are low and we have no medicine besides what the sage can scrape together, but I try not to involve him unless necessary. I fear the worst for the Resisty...

The rest are mine. After Miyuki declared me shunned by the empire, I fled my home solar system. I attempted to hide out on Callnowia, blending in with the Screwhead slaves; loading frate, scowering the factory bedrock for discarded snacks...

A low-ranking slave driver discovered me. He apprehended me, with the intent of handing me over to the sentinels...but he decided to take his primitive urges out on me instead.

We Irkens are told many halftruths about our own biology. We are taught to believe we have evolved beyond our urges; that our PAK protects us from our primitive natures, but this is a lie; a lie told to control us... Forced intercorse is a common and unspoken problem within the empire. Even if I had not been shunned, he would have never been punished; he was nearly a head taller than me. The control brains would have incarcerated me for exciting him in the first place. At least I would have been given a safe, early abortion were those the circumstances.

But I am a pariah, blacklisted from basic Irken rights. I could not seek medical attention from Irken doctors; they would only turn me away. I lacked the knowledge to safely abort the pregnancy myself, so I carried them...

Again, I commandeered a ship and fled. I was convinced I would bottom out and die before carrying my swarm to full term. I set my cruiser on autopilot when the contractions started.

It landed on this young, unnamed planet. Screaming in agony, I gave birth in the middle of nature to 33 sons and 4 precious daughters.

It was the worst day of my life... These things I had birthed; they looked Irken, but had no PAKs. They desperately clawed my limp, lifeless body, begging for food after successfully eating the afterbirth.

I feared their savagery. But, as it turns out, they were not savage. They were just smeets without PAKS. They were mine and they needed me.

Somehow I survived. Their cries motivated me to get up and search for food. Within an hour they walked. Within 12 hours they climbed. By the first moons' rise, some of them could fly. By the end of the week they had all leaned their names and also learned mine.

But without the PAKS to provide the minimum nutrition, my smeets hungered. They ate and they ATE and if I couldn't feed them enough food quickly, they wailed and shrieked in pain.

I am not a frylord and my knowledge of growing food from nature is almost nil. I struggled to properly feed them for years.

My swarm is over two centuries old now. I've taught them everything I could. We learned many hard lessons together. We built a life here that we're proud of.

Things are a little easier on me now that my smeets are no longer smeets. They can help me forage for food, craft tools and defend our hive. We still struggle. Seven of my sons have died from exposure to the elements, fauna attack and spooch-cough.

It haunts me I was unable to find help in time. I do what I can for the ones I have left. My smeets are everything to me now. I hope the empire never notices this dirt clot. If my PAKless wonders were discovered the control brains would have them hunted and exterminated like pests. I keep them hidden and safe here with me, however it takes."

[the-greatest-tumbleweed]

Well, I did it. Here’s the Rivers of London, Nightingale Is A Goose AU. It’s the 20s, things are getting weird again.

Quick disclaimer: this is a mashup of the story of Thomas Nightingale, the fictional RoL character, and Thomas the Blind Bisexual Goose, a real goose that lived in New Zealand and died in 2018. It is based on a previous post I made literally just being like “there was a bisexual goose named Thomas and I feel like that has fic potential”; I originally tried to post this on there, but the cut kept disappearing so here we are. I have taken a few artistic liberties; the start is based mostly on Nightingale’s life, the latter part of the story almost entirely on the actual goose. I changed the names of Henry and Henrietta the black swans to Peter and Beverly. I also needed to make a goose equivalent of WW2, but please don’t think that it is in any way meant to make light of the actual, human WW2; it isn’t, I just needed it for the story. Final point: this is an absurd concept and therefore an absurd story, which I wrote quickly while procrastinating my schoolwork. Don’t expect it to be anything it’s not.

The Untitled Nightingale Game

Thomas was born in Waikinae, around the turn of the decade – the decade being 1980. He would be known for many things over the course of his abnormally long life: he was a soldier, a leader, a lover, and a doting father. Among humans, he was a legend. But most importantly, he was a goose.

Thomas grew up with the other big, white geese of Waimanu Lagoon, and had a relatively uneventful childhood. He made some trouble, as one does when one is a young goose.

One sunny morning, a young human couple took a stroll by the lake. Thomas and his friend, Rupert, sidled up to the couple together, and just as the young man was fiddling with a diamond ring, they honked in perfect unison. The young man dropped the ring, and the couple spent a good long while looking for it in the grass.

Another, cloudier day, he and Horace covered themselves in mud and jumped out at a group of children, hissing and honking and flapping about. The children ran away, screaming. Thomas and Horace were delighted.

The fun stopped when a man with dark hair and angry eyes came to their lake. The older geese said he had been there before, but Thomas had been young then. The man’s name was William, and he collected eggs. William would visit the lake, sneaking about, and he would steal any egg he came across. The first time he came, William took a whole generation of goose eggs for his collection, and a whole generation of duck eggs, and a great many water bird families lost eggs to him as well.

The second time he came, he began to steal eggs again. He came in with his big green wader boots, early in the mornings, and took whatever he found. It was devastating. It was infuriating. It was known in the goose community the second William War.

One day, the geese and ducks and other fowl came together, and the elders said they must form a front, they must fight back. Thomas led the charge. He would hide in the rushes and jump out at humans if they got too close – after all, you never knew which of them would turn out to be William. He would hiss and nip at their ankles when they stomped around the nesting area.

The elders sent along a group of young ducks to help him; they would quack angrily as he hissed, and were brave enough follow him into any confrontation.

One day, an old man got startled by them, and kicked one of the ducks as hard as he could. From then on, Thomas fought twice as hard, and made sure he was the first in line whenever a human was involved. Nobody was allowed to hurt his ducklings.

Over time, the humans got a little nervous around Thomas, and started to recognise him among other geese. They called him The Goose, and told their children to watch out for him.

It was several months before they achieved their final goal: William was sneaking about in the rushes, looking for eggs to steal, when Thomas jumped out at him and honked. William was startled, and fell into the water with an enormous splash. Another human heard the splash, and came running, and saw that William was holding a bag full of eggs.

“Hey! Are you nicking their eggs!?” shouted the other human, and that was the end of that.

After William had been dealt with, the elders suggested they try and steal back their eggs.

“They’ll already be damaged, surely it isn’t worth the danger?” asked Thomas, but the elders insisted, and so he lead his ducklings in through the window that William had been seen in. They were noticed, and they got in trouble, and some of the ducklings were caught and taken away by the humans. Thomas never forgave himself.

For many years after that defeat, Thomas was sad. He felt guilty about the pain he had lead his ducklings into, and he missed the friends that were no longer with him. He grew apart from the other geese, segregated himself from the group, and took to wondering about, alone, lost in his thoughts. His only friend was a nightingale named Molly, who would sing to him on occasion, and cheer him up a little.

One chilly winter evening, Thomas was out for a lonely walk by the lake, when he came across a swan. He was a black swan, and he was young, and beautiful, and looked at the world with a curiosity Thomas had long forgotten.

Thomas waddled over to the black swan.

“Hello, what are you up to?” he asked the swan.

“I’m ghost hunting,” replied the swan, jokingly.

“Interesting,” said Thomas with a smile, “Any particular ghost?”

“You would do just fine,” said the swan. Ah, this was a cheeky swan.

“What’s your name?” asked Thomas.

“Peter,” said the swan, and smiled at him.

“I’m Thomas,” said Thomas, and smiled back.

The relationships of birds are not as complex as those of humans. Had Thomas and Peter been humans, their courtship may have taken days, months, or years. They may have had enough unromantic conversations to fill a series of novels. They may have never fallen in love. But they were a goose and a swan, so it only took them one conversation.

Thomas and Peter could be seen waddling about together, cleaning each other’s feathers, swimming about in the sun. They became inseparable.

The humans that walked around the area often – the ones making sick birds better and counting the numbers of each species – often wondered when Thomas and Peter would have their first child.

After a while, they became worried one of them was ill, but then one thought to check their sexes, and they all laughed.

“We’ve got a gay goose!” they exclaimed, and for a few years, other humans would come to see Thomas and Peter swanning about. Thomas and Peter quite liked the attention, and so they would happily come and see the humans, giving them a gently honked “hello”, and they became rather popular.

Thomas and Peter lived this blissful, loving life for a wonderful eighteen years, without a hiccup. Thomas made Peter smile, and Peter made Thomas laugh. Thomas told all the funny goose stories, and Peter told all the funny swan stories, and they never tired of them. They reminded each other that the world was a wonderful place.

There came a time, however, when a potential flaw in their relationship became apparent: Thomas had no desire to have any children, lest he should lose them again. Peter had no such worries.

One day, while they were out for a stroll, another black swan sidled up to them. She was glossy and beautiful, and disarmingly charming.

“Hello, I’m Beverley, fancy making some babies?” she asked, because, as established, swans are rather more direct than humans.

Peter and Thomas had a chat about this.

“I quite fancy making myself some babies, to be honest,” Peter confessed.

“Ah, right, of course,” said Thomas, sadly.

And so Peter and Beverley made themselves a batch of cygnets, and were very happy together, for a while.

Thomas was, understandably, rather upset. He returned to his old haunts, moping about in silence. The humans got a little worried about him.

One fine day, Beverley the Swan found him sitting in a puddle, feeling sorry for himself.

“Hi Thomas,” she said cheerfully, “Have a moment?”

“I have a few,” he answered.

“I see you’re moping too,” she said.

“Peter’s moping? That’s unlike him,” said Thomas, worried.

“He misses having you around,” she told him, “And I’d quite like you around, too.”

“But he’s chosen you!” exclaimed Thomas.

“He’s chosen both of us, you silly goose!” she exclaimed back.

She poked him in the side and waddled him over to their nest, and soon the humans could stop worrying again: Thomas, and Peter, and Beverley, and several batches of babies made their home together by the lake. The three adults happily shared their nest, and the cygnets were just as likely to waddle after Thomas as either of their parents.

“There goes Uncle Thomas with his little swans!” the humans would exclaim, and Thomas couldn’t have been happier.

The years went by, and everybody was surprised that Uncle Thomas was still so well.

“You know, sometimes it seems to me that I stopped ageing years ago. In fact, I almost feel as if I’m getting younger. Do I look younger to you?“

Peter laughed at him “I don’t know if you feel younger, but you haven’t changed a bit in all the time I’ve known you!”

“You’re a goose, Thomas,” said Beverley, “You’ve looked the same since you were four, and you’ll look the same when you’re forty.”

And that was the last time they spoke of that.

However, not all of them were immune to the passing of the years. Thomas reached his early thirties, and, indeed, felt as young as in his teens. Peter, on the other hand, began to slow down, and tire faster, and gave Beverly fewer children. Thomas and Beverly both noticed, but there was nothing they could do but enjoy the time they had.

“It’s been a great life, with you two,” Peter told them one day, and then fell asleep between them a final time.

Days passed, the two of them wept, and their last children left the nest.

“I’m not finished, as a mother,” Beverley told him, and wished him well. She flew to another area, where the landscape didn’t hold Peter’s memory, and life went on.

Thomas was sad anew, but a quieter, more mature sadness – the sadness of one who has lost something beautiful, but enjoyed it while it lasted. Alone again, he began to feel the weight of his years. His wings weren’t as strong as they once were, and his eyes began to falter.

He met a younger goose, and loved her, but not as he had loved Peter. They had some goslings – what an odd thing to make children of his own! – but they soon flew away, and he was alone again.

Soon, his sight was so poor he could barely make his way about the lake. The humans noticed and decided that wouldn’t do, so they picked him up and took him to bird sanctuary – though, as a goose, he did not know that it was a bird sanctuary.

“He’s a bit of a mother goose,” the humans told the keepers at the sanctuary, and the keepers listened. When the sanctuary was brought an orphan gosling, they gave it to Thomas, hoping he could look after it. He, quite literally, took it under his wing.

Happy with this successful adoption, the humans brought a few orphaned cygnets to him, as well, and he treated them as he had treated his own little cygnets, years before. More and more little birds were brought to Thomas, and he loved them all, and mothered them and fathered them and, indeed, became good old Uncle Thomas once more.

Thomas grew older, and blinder, and more tired by the day, but still he would walk about the sanctuary with his multitude of children in tow, happy as could be. Sometimes, Beverley would fly to visit him, bringing along children old and new, and the whole extended family would take a gander around the pond.

The day came when a new group joined the sanctuary: the humans came in one morning with a cardboard box of ducklings. They were young and scared, and all alone. The humans put the box where Thomas could hear them quack, and he called them, and they came and found safety and love under his old, feathered wings.

Thomas had his ducklings and he kept them safe, and he cried with joy at his wonderful luck.

Thomas the Goose spent the last of his years at the sanctuary, raising birds of all shapes and sizes. By the time he died – aged 38, which is a ripe old age, for a goose – the humans from both his places of residence reckoned he had adopted at least sixty eight baby birds of various species, mostly swan.

When he did die, happy as a goose could be, the humans wrote about it in their papers. Thomas the blind bisexual goose to be buried beside his male partner of 30 years in the greatest love story told said Pink News, and A tiny coffin, a mayoral eulogy and a bagpipe procession: Thomas the blind, bisexual goose memorialised with touching funeral as he is laid to rest next to his lover, said the Daily Mail.

And indeed, they held a funeral, and laid him to rest with the love of his life, and wondered at the marvels of nature, and when all was quiet and everybody had gone away, a nightingale perched on their tombstone, and sang.

[timeagainreviews]

Thoughts leading up to series 12

Happy holidays, friends! I know, I know. It's been a while. I would love to sit here and say I have been away doing important things, but really I've been hibernating. The results of that awful election, mixed with the holidays had left me feeling a bit lethargic as of late. That being said, I had a nice Christmas. Being an immigrant, I don't see my family on holidays. My boyfriend and I spent the day piecing together a Babylon 5 jigsaw puzzle. I made my pal Gerry a celery for his 5th Doctor cosplay and he gifted me a replica of the Li H'sen Chang poster from "The Talons of Weng-Chiang." It was a very Doctor Who Christmas! Sadly, there was no Doctor Who Christmas episode!

Alas, it hardly matters, as new Doctor Who is mere days away! As I did last year, you can expect weekly coverage for each new episode. I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of consistent writing. Usually, the fandom is more abuzz when the show is actually airing, so please remember to check in with this blog, as I will be watching along with the rest of you!

If you recall, prior to series eleven, I made a list talking about some of my hopes and expectations for the new TARDIS team and the new production team. Seeing as series twelve is just days away from premiering, I thought I might do it again. Let's get to it, shall we?

The Thirteenth Doctor

Seeing Jodie Whittaker back in the TARDIS for another round of adventures has me massively excited. One of the downsides to Christopher Eccleston's run is that we never really got to see him develop the role of the Ninth Doctor. I'm hoping we'll get to see more aspects of her character. Seeing as I don't expect her to regenerate any time soon, there's still much of her personality left to explore. We've met the friendly adorkable Doctor, now let's see her bend a little.

One of my primary complaints about Jodie Whittaker's portrayal as the Doctor was that I didn't think she got scary. While I love her bravery, running headlong into danger, I would like to see a shade or two of her dark side. Up to this point, she's been too friendly to be scary. I know I'm not the only person with this complaint, so it will be interesting to see what a year of hiatus and refocusing will do for her. Honestly, I hope they don't change her too much, as she's pretty great. I'd just like to see them flesh her out a bit.

Other than her personality, I'm also hoping to see some costume variations. The trailer for the new season does give us Jodie in a bow tie, which I am all for. I've also seen a picture where her trousers are black. I'm hoping they continue to tweak her costume here and there, as watching the Doctor's costume evolve over time has always been one of my favourite things about the show.

Chris Chibnall's return

Was there anyone from series eleven that drew more ire than Chris Chibnall? Sure you got the people who hated Jodie solely because she was a woman, but on the level of legitimate concerns, Chibnall was up there. I myself threw a bit of mud in his direction, and I don't feel as though it was without good cause. The general management of the show seemed a bit aimless, despite many promising elements.

Something about the way series eleven was received gave the BBC pause to reevaluate the show's trajectory, and I have a distinct feeling that Chibnall was at the heart of a lot of it. From his lack of a season-long story arc, to the villains being a bit shit, to an overly dour tone, his first year as showrunner left something to be desired. The fact that we didn't even get a single webisode during this gap year shows me that they're still not 100% sure what to do with Doctor Who.

However, having said this, Chibnall's core TARDIS team is one of the most exciting aspects of series twelve. I can't wait to see more from this great line up of characters. And if the exciting trailer for this new series is anything to go off, we're in for quite a ride. Chibnall's most recent endeavour as showrunner was last year's "Resolution," a much-needed bit of classic Who villainy in the form of a Dalek. I was left feeling optimistic that Chibnall was capable of delivering solid storytelling. And that's the operative word- optimistic. As long as he doesn't get needlessly gritty, I'm cautiously optimistic that this year-long hiatus has yielded positive results.

The Companions

Like many other viewers, my chief complaint about the companions has to be Yaz. She really got shafted on the level of character development last year. When you have someone as talented as Mandip Gill, it's a shame to waste her. I know the fandom was quite vocal about this fact, so I fully expect to see the show give her more time in the spotlight. I don't know anyone who disliked her character, which is a good sign that the fandom wants more of her.

Ryan and Graham were two characters that I felt got a great bit of character development. The moment when Ryan finally calls Graham "granddad," was a truly exciting moment for two characters we had grown to love. The logical next step, at least in my mind, is to test the boundaries of this new relationship. I'd really love to see Graham meet a new love interest. Introducing someone into Graham's life would make Ryan have to broaden his definition of family even further. It might also be a catalyst for his own personal growth.

I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't also see one or more of the companions depart from the TARDIS. My gut says it would be Graham, but I wouldn't be surprised if all three of them left at the end of the series. As much as I love the current companions, I would love to see what energy a new companion or two might do for Jodie's Doctor.

The Villains

Prior to series eleven, I was feeling very optimistic for new Doctor Who. That is until I read an article where Chris Chibnall announced there would be no returning villains. Other than the announcement that Chibnall would be showrunner, nothing had made me more concerned for the show's future than "no returning villains." It's not that returning villains are a must for Doctor Who. It's actually a rather brave thing to attempt. The reason it's brave is that if you're going to leave out classic baddies, you've got to justify your decision by crafting new classics. And I'm sorry, but some Slipknot dude with teeth in his face is not classic.

From what I've seen of the trailer and promotional stills, we're looking at at least three returning creatures from the Whoniverse. We've all seen the picture of Jodie staring down the Judoon. If I am completely honest, those have left me with the least amount of hype, as they weren't ever even full-on villains. I've always found the Judoon slightly hokey, so I could take or leave them. The plus side is that there is still plenty of room to develop them as a species. Are there non-Shadow Proclamation Judoon? Are there evil factions? I'm curious if nothing else.

Another familiar face is the Cybermen. While I feel like both the RTD and Moffat eras used the Cybermen ad nauseam, they're still a classic baddie with a solid track record. It appears they'll have something to do with the finale and that "timeless child," storyline I'm uninterested in, so fine, sure, ok. The real alien species I'm excited for is the Racnoss! Much like the Judoon, the Racnoss are also underdeveloped. I wasn't a big fan of them the first time around, which is why I'm excited for more. I'm curious to see what depth can be found in these campy arachnids. If nothing else, the makeup is fun.

The Guest Actors

Series eleven treated us to a surprisingly tender performance from Lee Mack in "Kerblam!" We got a decent turn by Mark Addy, working with not a lot to go off as the underwritten Paltraki. But without a doubt, the best performance came in the form of Alan Cumming's King James. Not only was he as hilarious as he was loathsome, but he also elevated what could have been a more straightforward performance, by finding that sweet spot of camp and contemptible.

That being said, with actors like Stephen Fry, Lenny Henry, and classic Doctor Who alum Robert Glenister joining the show, I'm hopeful we'll get at least one memorable performance out of the lot. I've not followed many of the ins and outs of the storylines, so I have no idea who anyone is playing other than Goran Višnjić as Nikola Tesla. That being said, the addition of Tesla to the series seems an obvious fit. He was an eccentric man who was a bit weird about his pet bird. I expect his story to be one of the stranger ones we'll enjoy this year, or at least, it had better be.

The BBC's involvement

I'm hoping that in this last year, the BBC weren't just reevaluating Chris Chibnall's direction for the show, but their own involvement as well. They got rid of Bake Off and Formula One, Top Gear's audience followed Clarkson over to Amazon. All that's left are partisan news coverage, QI, Countryfile, and Doctor Who. Oh and I guess "His Dark Materials," but I don't know anyone who's talking about that show. As I said earlier, it's been a year of nothing from Doctor Who as a series. Other than comics and a less than perfect VR game, we've gotten nothing from the Thirteenth Doctor and the fam. Not even a novel or webisode to tide us over. How hard would it have been, while filming series twelve, to shoot a quick little skit on the TARDIS set? The Moffat era did this a lot, and it was always nice to see a little bit of Doctor Who while waiting for more episodes.

As the last vestige of the BBC's once-great television empire, you would think they might start to give a shit about Doctor Who. I know it's a crazy concept, but perhaps shelving one of your best shows for a year wasn't the best option. It would be nice to see them put more money and effort into the show. It would be a welcome sight to see them also put more money into the budget for things like merchandise or extended universe media. We've got three books for the current Doctor and that was last year. David Tennant had over thirty novels, while Matt Smith's Doctor appeared in over 15, and Capaldi only appeared in nine. Do you remember the last time we got a Character Options figure that wasn't a repaint of another figure? The most recent one we got was Harry Sullivan, and I'm pretty sure the only new element to that figure was his head. I've seen previews of the new companion figurines, and they're great, but I want more.

Perhaps I sound a bit spoiled. Many shows never expand beyond their allotted episodes, but this is Doctor Who, a show with a broader reach than your telly. It seemed last year that they were finally giving the show its dues. There were billboards of Jodie's face everywhere. The hype was palpable. Now, it's just four days from series twelve, and I've not even seen a bus ad for the new show. A woman I see out on dog walks was surprised when I told her the show was returning on the first of January. She had no idea. This is the Doctor Who audience that they're failing, not people like me who count the days like an advent calendar. The BBC needs to decide once in for all if they're going to give Doctor Who the respect it deserves, or sell it someone who will.

And that's it for now, friends. I hope you're all just as excited as I am to be back in the blue box. If all goes as planned, I should have a new review up the day after each episode. I'm optimistic that I'll have some great things to say!

[celestial-depths]

Harry Potter has always been much less progressive than its fandom: a retrospective

In June 2020, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling decided to use her platform to devalue trans people by ridiculing a headline with trans-inclusive language and going on to spout hateful nonsense like insisting that recognizing trans women as real women makes the experiences of cis women somehow less valid. I’m not going to repeat her baseless arguments here because I’m not really interested in picking them apart, as more qualified commentators than me have already done that, and doing so would be like throwing rocks at a house of cards anyway. Instead, I want to reflect on the fan reaction to her statements. The response has been overwhelmingly negative, with many fans expressing feelings of disappointment and surprise over her choice to further vilify a group of people who are already marginalized and vulnerable to violence and discrimination. I was disappointed, too, but, sadly, not surprised. Not because this isn’t the first time in recent history when Rowling has aligned herself with TERFs, but because I think her writing and interviews have always suggested that her politics are way more regressive and conservative than what most of her fans may have assumed. Me and Harry Potter go way back. I’m in my thirties now, and I remember reading the first two books at the age of eleven, just before the global Harry Potter hype had really taken off. In fact, I may have been among the last wave of readers who got to start the series without the faintest idea what the books were even about. At the time, I had a habit of reading books without checking out the blurbs first because I enjoyed the feeling of diving into a story and being taken completely by surprise, so I didn’t even know that wizards were involved when I started reading. I couldn’t have been at more perfect an age to discover the books. For pre-teen readers like me, they were the perfect mix of escapism and relatability. It was wild adventures and magic combined with the everyday reality of a school-aged child, which is probably why I felt more connected to it than I did with other fantasy books I also enjoyed, such as The Lord of the Rings. Harry would learn spells and fight dragons in one chapter and worry about homework and making friends in the next one, which was why it was always easier for a kid like me to daydream about going to Hogwarts than it was to imagine fighting orcs in Middle-Earth (sidenote: this is also why I was never a big fan of the HP movies; they kept the exciting highlights but they left out the slice-of-life parts, which instantly made them seem less relatable to me). My generation also got to grow up with the series. I read the first book at 11, and the final one was released when I was 19, so I was always roughly the same age as Harry during my first read of each book. But by the time I read that final chapter, I was no longer as enamored with the series as I used to be – not because I’d grown bored with the series, but because its politics had started to worry me over the years. I didn’t like the story it was telling between the lines, and I certainly didn’t like the note it ended on. I wasn’t really involved in the fandom during my first years of being a fan of the series, but I did step into it around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was released. I was fifteen, I was extremely excited about the release of the first new HP book in three years, and I soon found myself spending hours in fan message boards speculating about future plot twists and discussing my favorite characters. The fandom had its flaws – you don’t know the meaning of the word “petty” unless you’ve witnessed the absolutely brutal fights adult human beings in the HP fandom had over their Hermione Granger shipping preferences – but overall the community was inclusive and open-minded. The fans were a diverse bunch of people who generally seemed to agree that the world of HP was as progressive as they were, since the main message most of them picked up from the books was that one should not discriminate anyone based on the qualities they were born with. I agreed with that reading of the books for a long time, but as I grew up I began to pay closer attention to what the books were actually depicting and what it was leaving out altogether, and I eventually started to wonder whether the series was progressive as it was made out to be. The story was seemingly preaching a message of inclusion, yet all the characters were straight (no, Dumbledore doesn’t count because his sexual orientation was never brought up in the books), cis, and able-bodied, and non-white characters were barely there. What is there to be inclusive about when there’s hardly any real diversity among the very, very vast cast of characters, especially not among the main heroes? Moreover, HP’s way of using non-human characters as metaphors for discrimination yielded very questionable results. The series used house-elves as a metaphor for slavery, yet it ends with the conclusion that the enslavement of house-elves was only wrong when they were treated cruelly, and that they actually preferred slavery to freedom, which was why Hermione was depicted as being silly for fighting for their emancipation. That’s a load of yikes. Werewolves, the series’ metaphor for the HIV positive, were violent, tragic, and uncontrollable, which is... also not great. And don’t even get me started on the books’ take on goblins, who bore extremely uncomfortable resemblance to antisemitic caricatures. The series built a hierarchy between species and used it to address real-life inequality between groups of people, but it never dismantled or even properly questioned that hierarchy, In fact, the biases towards and unequal treatment of other species was ultimately made to seem natural and right. So, there’s that. The books were also littered with awful fatphobia, which doesn’t comply with the anti-discrimination message by any means, and the apparent importance of personal choices and accomplishments got lost by the final two books. For instance, the penultimate book explores Voldemort’s origins and concludes that he was simply born evil, either because he lacked a mother’s love or because he was born from a loveless union (a rape, if we’re being specific, though the books doesn’t recognize it as such, and that’s a whole another can of problematic worms). I don’t even have the time to unpack all the twisted ideas about gender roles that plot point suggests, but my main point here is that it seems like Voldemort never chose to be evil, and apparently neither did his followers, as most of them seem to be villains because they were sorted into Slytherin, or that they were sorted into Slytherin because they were already villainous. At the age of 11. Even the two Slytherins who actively choose to do the right thing in the end (Draco and Snape) do so out of cowardice (Draco) or selfishness (Snape). Meanwhile, as the series progresses Harry’s goodness is less and less predicated by his actions and more based on the virtue of simply being the Chosen One, all the way up to the point where Harry ends up resorting to torture and mind-control – two of the three “unforgivable“ acts as determined by a previous installment in the series – and suffering absolutely no consequences, because he is the hero and nothing the hero does can be bad. The world of Harry Potter, which steers towards being morally ambiguous around the midpoint of the series, ends up being disappointingly black-and-white and deterministic by the end. Choice ends up having very little to do with anything. And then there’s the gender issue, which bothered me most of all. The series exhibits very old-fashioned and restrictive gender roles without ever really questioning them, throws around casual sexism, and it paints a really appalling picture of femininity through its overly sentimental, subservient, frivolous female characters, whose only motivation for doing anything is far too often devotion to a male character or their children, and who are always defeated by their pesky female emotions. Rowling is a self-declared feminist, and I distinctly remember this one writing of hers where she was congratulating herself for championing characters like Hermione Granger over characters like Pansy Parkinson, and that’s her view of feminism I guess? Putting down one female character in favor of another? Pitting women up against each other, urging them to be good girls instead of bad girls – doing all that instead of paying attention to the structural, cultural, ideological reasons why gender expectations and inequality are harmful? Honestly, I don’t think that HP is pro-women at all; the female characters lack agency and are constantly sidelined in favor of male characters, and the series valorizes a very narrow view of womanhood that’s obsessively centered around motherhood and sacrifice.   Overall, the HP series seem to idealize this aesthetically and ideologically old-timey view of society where the world is unrealistically white and straight, and where static hierarchies prevail. The story does not end in a revolution, rebellion, or reform because the story isn’t really about progression; it’s about following traditions and preserving pre-existing power structures. The epilogue of the series really hammers down this point: in the final chapter, the main characters have grown up, married their (white) childhood sweethearts, assumed the roles and biases of their parents and named their kids after their dead relatives, joyfully returning to the origin point of a cycle that brought death and destruction into their world as if there was never anything wrong with that cycle to begin with. So, yeah. I’m not really shocked to see J.K. Rowling expressing awful opinions about trans people because the world of HP was already built upon a whole bunch of awful, traditionalist ideas. As a teen, I’d been read the series through the hopeful lens of my own set of values, but by the time that final book was released, I’d become disillusioned with Rowling and the series, and I no longer took HP for the forward-looking, inclusive story I had made it up to be. I didn’t stop liking certain aspects of the books, but I did stop thinking of Rowling as someone to look up to. For some time, I hoped that Rowling was simply misguided and that she would eventually listen, learn, and rethink. But she keeps proving herself as someone who absolutely refuses to see past her privileged, white, and straight point of view despite all of her resources, and who has inexplicably chosen to crusade against trans women, of all the people in the universe, as if the world wasn’t already hostile enough towards them. So, fuck her. But you know what? The HP fandom doesn’t have to take its cues from J.K. Rowling. The fans don’t have to condone her discriminatory views or agree to read her books in the light of her backward politics. They’ve never done that. From Wolfstar to Black Hermione and from Gay Draco to Trans Snape, the fandom has always been a nurturing environment for fan interpretations that aim to add diversity and complexity to the books, whether Rowling agrees or not. Long live the headcanon. (The fans have also learned to tune out Rowling’s unnecessary comments when they feel like it. Two words: wizard poop. That alone should suggest that the things she says aren’t always worthy of anyone’s attention.)

[mjwiththefangs]

Beautifully Deadly (NaLu) #5

Chapter 5

Vampire/Supernatural AU

Rating: M

Summary:  "Supposedly an entire kingdom disappeared when their queen went beyond the borders, remember?" When Natsu Dragneel leaves the kingdom to investigate mysterious disappearances, he finds a much bigger adventure than he was bargaining for, including a beautiful vampire hidden away in an ancient castle. She has little to say about her past, or why she's locked away. Who did this to her? What has she been feeding on? One thing Natsu knows for sure that she is dangerous... Could she have something to do with the disappearances? "I'm sorry, Natsu, but I'm just so thirsty."

Chapters: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7

Read it on: AO3 & FF.net

A/N: So Hi! Apparently, I do monthly updates now- shocking, right! First of all, compulsory shoutout to @bmarvels & @mannyegb for agreeing to Beta for me again! You are both Stars!!

Secondly, Many thanks to all of you Lovelies for being patient, i hope this chapter was worth the wait! Im really aiming to keep the word count near 3K if not higher. Let me know what you prefer! I also wanted to add that i am on Tumblr; follow Starstruck-MJ-writings for chapters & progress updates.

Im trying to get the plot rolling now, so things should begin to pick up from here on out. As always, i am deeply humbled by all your lovely reviews ❤

Now, enough of me rambling. Lets get to the main event!

Review shoutouts! to: KatanaNoNeko, YunaYue, Densolator, Aliciacevbra, & NaluGrey 

Thank you!!

The forest surrounding Lucy’s decrepit castle was vast and held many secrets. Deep within the wilderness, nestled in the woods was a path that none dared to tread, and even fewer knew existed.

If one knew what to look for, they would see the intricate runes littered through the trees, and surrounding Lucy’s Castle.

They were carved into the bark, small, seemingly insignificant sigils. They came in all different shapes, all designed to trick the eye, making them incredibly difficult to locate. Even if one managed to find the runes, it would be very unlikely for the individual to stumble upon them to understand what they meant, for they were all written in ancient tongues, in rare and dead languages.

Had a certain wolf come across these mysterious runes, he would have been elatedly familiar and perhaps found exactly who created them.

The rune creator herself, a wise wood elf, had made sure she was difficult, nigh on impossible, to find. Her stave surrounded her sanctum perfectly. It had been after some thought that she had adapted the stave to help cover Lucy’s location also. It had been difficult, meaning the castle remains were not completely hidden, but certainly more elusive of malicious, searching eyes.

The Elf had been quick to deduce that the strange blonde did not wish to be found. She had run away. The Elf was still pondering what the woman had run from. There were, of course, the disappearances. The Elf could not quite rule out Lucy’s potential involvement, despite the woman’s evident fear.

Sighing, she tucked a lock of blue hair behind her ear and reached for her research notes. Whilst she had been absent from her home and recovering her strength, she had been studying.

The Elf's name was Levy McGarden. She was separated from her Beloved Wolf and the people they had been escorting. Levy had been struck across the head before she could even react. It had slowed her reflexes, her vision blurred and saturated with her own blood. She faintly recalled trying to help some escape from the attacker. She didn't know how they'd all lost one another. She didn't even know if the others survived.

‘I wonder if Gajeel…’ her heart squeezed painfully in her chest, unable to finish her thought. Her mind drifted unbidden to the attack. The way Gajeel had transformed into the giant wolf she was so familiar with. The fury in his eyes.

‘Run!’ He had shrieked, desperate to keep her safe. He was already critically injured as she fled, his right forearm torn almost to shreds. She, of course, now had her own scar to bare. It stretched from her right temple, across her forehead, in the form of an ugly slash marring her porcelain skin.

She'd awoken days later, in a dark room, with the strange blonde woman beside her. Levy was still unsure what to think of Lucy, despite owing her life to her. Lucy had bandaged her up. The blonde seemed so uncomfortable with Levy near her. Levy wondered what species the woman was, it had become quickly evident that she was not a mere human.

She flicked through her notes. Scanning over her theories on Lucy. The answer had to be here, among her observations. Levy could almost taste it, it was right there, dancing on the tip of her tongue.

‘Wouldn’t approach when I cleaned my wound’,

‘stayed away from the windows’,

‘appears to be nocturnal’,

‘very intelligent, potentially dangerous, secretive.’

The scrawled notes screamed at her off the paper, telling her she was missing something between the lines. Levy knew her stranger saviour had not been a mortal human.

She tapped her chin in thought, ‘Perhaps she can’t walk in sunlight either…’ Suddenly, something clicked in her head. ‘If I run with this Hypothesis…’

She gasped, everything about the blonde making sense, ‘She’s a Vampire!’

.

Cold.

For the first time in his life, Natsu Dragneel felt truly cold. Sure, he’d been on the receiving end of Gray’s ice before, but that had never left him feeling like this. At this moment, he felt as though the fire in his belly was diminished to just embers.

He felt so utterly cold. He groaned painfully, coughing as he rolled. His eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times before squinting to look around him. It was dark in the small room. He found himself to lying on a cot, his wounds delicately wrapped. Natsu grunted, raising his arm to rub the sleep from his eyes.

Only to find that his wrist was cuffed to the wall. Puzzled, he took this moment to examine his environment. The room he was in was small, but not unpleasant. The arched paned window allowed streams of dusklight through the old curtain drapes. The cot he found himself lying on was tucked snugly in the corner, his wrist chained to an old iron ring embedded on the wall, and the plain sheets were folded at his feet. His gaze drifted to the heavy wooden door. A well-aimed fireball would have that taken care of. That is, he suspected, if the metal cuff around his wrist wasn’t magic sealing stone.

The Draconic whined in his throat, dropping his head back onto the cot. The motion sent a shock of pain shooting through his neck, a violent hiss escaping him. His fuzzy mind struggled to catch up to him, foggy memories being dragged to the surface.

He ran away. Gajeel attacked him, separating him from Atlas Flame. He stumbled upon the castle remains. Blood. The woman…

She bit him.

Gingerly, he reached up to his neck, his calloused fingers coming into contact with bandages, ‘what?’ he frowned in confusion. Did she do this? A sudden idea tickled his mind, and turning his gaze towards his torso, he reached down and tugged up his shirt. His wound from Gajeel had been cleaned, though not bandaged, and he noticed the cauterised skin was barely holding him together. If he was too reckless again, he would surely reopen the injury.

His ears twitched at the sound of approaching footsteps. He bolted upright on the cot, wincing at his own sudden movement. He held his breath, preparing himself for whoever was coming to see him. The footsteps stopped in front of the wooden door.

He heard the latch click softly, surprised to learn that it wasn't locked. The hinges creaked in protest as the door opened slowly, soft candlelight trickling in from the hall.

She stepped carefully, and not without trepidation in his small room. He found himself taken aback at her appearance. Before, when he found her on the floor, she had been paler than death, dark shadows gathering around her eyes. Eyes that had flashed crimson, mad with hunger.

But as he looked at her now, undoubtedly the same woman, he found the breath leaving his lungs. Her golden tresses tumbled down to her waist, framing her heart-shaped face perfectly. She looked so alive, he thought, with the warmth in her cheeks, she was glowing. Her eyes were the colour of honey, warm and soft when they met his. She froze, her eyes widening a fraction, more colour flushing her face.

He watched her silently, her eyes darting away from him to the fading sunlight on the floor then back to him. Her mouth opened, tiny sharp points glinting as she did, reminding him to stay cautious.

‘I… I apologise for attacking you before.’ She briefly glanced away, guilt flashing in her eyes. ‘I was not myself. I came to check on you, you have slept for a long time.’ She resisted the nervous urge to chew her lip.

Natsu cocked his head as he regarded her. For how vicious she had appeared before, she seemed genuinely apologetic now and concerned for him. Despite himself, a grin broke out across his face. He couldn’t help it. Attacking someone then taking care of them? She was such a…

‘Weirdo.’

Her mouth opened in protest, and he cackled at the indignant pout on her face. He had a feeling he was going to enjoy teasing her, should he be staying for longer. He held up his hands in a surrender motion, feeling more at ease with with the unusual woman. He met her eyes again with an easy smile, ‘Thanks for patching me up! But’ he hesitantly reached for bandage around his neck, ‘What exactly did you do to me?’

He held no malice towards her. Who was he to judge someone for losing control of themselves, after all? He still held some suspicion, but it was waning the longer she stood by the door. At his question, she flushed deeply, in embarrassment or shame, neither could tell.

‘I… I am not entirely sure myself, to be honest.’ The admission came softly, sadly, ‘I deeply regret that I bit you. I didn’t mean to drink so much.’ she sighed, ‘well, drink at all, really.’

He quirked an eyebrow at her, gears ticking in his head. ‘You’re a Vampire?’

She visibly flinched at the word and a muscle in her jaw twitched. She nodded stiffly.

Natsu bit into his tongue to stop himself blurting more questions. Whilst it wasn’t typically characteristic of him to think before speaking, every cell of his new companion screamed that she was uncomfortable, and being still chained made it very much against his favour to upset her.

He did need a few more answers, however. ‘Can you unchain me? The sealing stone is restricting my magic.’ He explained, raising his wrist.

Her gaze snapped back to him. She was frowning, confusion drawn across her features.

‘Sealing stone? I don't have any of that here.’ She glanced at the light on the floor again, taking a hesitant step forward around it.

Natsu was frowning in return, if it wasn’t sealing stone, then why couldn’t he use his fire? Why did it feel like he only had ash in his mouth? He stared at her as she sat perched on the foot of the cot.

She cleared her throat, ‘What’s your magic?’ she wanted to be direct with him.

He gestured to the horns protruding through his hair, ‘Fire. I’m Draconic.’ as if to prove a point, he attempted to create a flame in the palm of his hand, producing nothing but a brief spark. He grunted in frustration.

A chill ran through him again, reminding him of his diminishing embers. The woman was watching him thoughtfully. Something was niggling at her, from the corner of her mind. When she drank from him… the first thing she became aware of…

‘... I was warm.’ she breathed.

Sharp draconic ears twitched. He sensed a deeper meaning to her words. He was anxious to learn more. But before he could ask, she had scrambled to her feet, reaching for the door and fleeing without a word.

The words died in his throat, a long sigh escaping him instead. He allowed himself, more carefully this time, to fall back onto the cot again.

It would be quite a while later that he realised he hadn't even got her name.

.

Lucy all but fled the room, leaving the Draconic man behind. Her heart was pounding in her chest, adrenaline spiking and causing her hands to quake. She moved briskly through the stone halls, not knowing where her feet were taking her, but just needing to be moving somewhere.

She gnawed her lip, her mind whirling as she marched. In her distraction, she failed to notice the soft glittering sparks pulsing to life beneath her feet with every step. Nor did she notice how the candle flames leaned towards her presence as she passed.

The vampire only grew aware that she had been wandering a while when she passed an open window, and belatedly startled, only to realise that the daylight had gone. She paused, gazing into the darkening hues across the sky. Her heart throbbed painfully.

She shook her head, golden strands dancing glitter around her. She felt overwhelmed. She needed fresh air. Lucy gathered her skirts, setting off in a run. She knew where she was heading this time. Her feet pounded against the stone steps, before she burst through the old hatchet, into the former rooftop garden.

Her train of thoughts began to run away from her once she was in her safe space. She was trying so hard. So hard to accept that she had drank from the strange man. She had never drank from someone before. She didn’t know what affects it had on someone, or what she was capable of in this form.

Lucy wrapped her arms around herself. More glittering dust fell from her movements. She was trembling, honey gold eyes staring into nothing.

‘Did I… drink away his magic?’

Her head shook violently at the thought. Surely that wasn’t possible? But then, she was unable to recall that last time she felt any warmth, prior to biting the man.

Lucy fought to think rationally. Before the… Incident, as she’d decided to dub it, she had collapsed from bloodlust. She always hated how much the hunger affected her. In the fuzzy recesses of her mind, she remembered that she could smell blood right as she came to. The warm, spicy taste of his blood on her tongue danced in her mind, and she blushed vehemently. It had felt like being in a trance.

He couldn’t make a fire now though. She’d watched him involuntarily shivering in that room. He was cold. What had she done to him? Had she drained his life energy too?

She certainly felt more alive. And, now that she took notice, she felt a strange tingle brimming just underneath her skin. Frowning she outstretched her hand in front of her, scrutinising the soft flesh. Nothing seemed unusual.

Lucy released a sigh, some tension leaving her shoulders. More than ever, she wished to be able to consult with her most dear and loyal companions. As old as time, and just as wise, the constellation spirits were contractually linked to her bloodline and she missed them terribly.

Even Leo, the playboy Lion spirit, who loved to flirt but ultimately was always willing to lend a listening ear and rare sage advice. She longed for that kind of advice right now.

In sudden swirl of glitter, she subsequently recognised to be stardust, a bright light flashed before her, forcing her to shield her eyes as she heard a faint bell chime. She blinked a few times, her arm slowly lowering as the dust settled.

She gasped in astonishment, gawking at the figure before her. Cat ears stood proudly in a mane of wild orange hair. The owner of that hair stood up straight from a bow, an easy, confident smile on his face.

The smile broadened into a grin, bursting with delight as Lucy pointed, ungracefully spluttering.

‘Loke?!’ She had to be hallucinating. He couldn’t be here. It wasn’t possible. She had tried so hard to summon him, summon any of them, when she had escaped her captor. She had never succeeded. She had not even been able to feel her bond to them. She understood a long time ago that she had no magic in this accursed form.

Now though, her mind reeling, she realised with utmost certainty that she had drained the pink-haired Draconic of his own magical energy.

The lion spirit regarded her with fond amusement. He found himself unable to stop grinning, his pointed ears twitching happily. ‘Hello, Beautiful.’

It had always been his favourite way to greet her and it filled him with a strong wave of nostalgia to be using it again.

‘It’s really you.’ She breathed, recovering herself, her eyes wide and locked onto the spirit. She leapt forward, throwing her arms around him before she knew what she was doing.

He laughed, happily wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. ‘I missed you too.’ He smiled down at her, ‘Now, do you mind telling me exactly where you have summoned me to?’ He asked, moving his head to assess their surroundings.

She met his hazel eyes, ‘I tried to reach you for so long. All of you. How did you finally find me?’

‘You called me here. None of us could feel your bond for so long. But we could still feel you in this realm, we knew you were out here.’ Loke’s expression sobered, ‘What did he do to you, Lucy?’

She hesitated, pointed teeth chewing on her lower lip. Loke’s sharp eyes caught the movement. ‘I’m… not the same as before.’ She answered quietly. He accepted that as answer enough.

He nodded, turning to look at something in the distance. ‘We can talk more next time. Whatever you did, it flared your magic. If you can do it again, we are only a call away.’ He folded an arm across his chest, bowing his head towards her. ‘Your magical energy is waning, I can’t stay much longer. But, I am curious about that blue creature.’

Thoughts of protesting quickly abandoned her, a curious, confused frown on her face as she turned her attention behind her.

A winged blue creature flew towards them. She squinted, and as it neared them, she saw that it was in fact a flying blue cat.

A soggy, flying blue cat.

Loke chuckled to himself, musing, ‘Why do cats always see my ears and think I’ll understand them.’

Felines had always flocked to the lion spirit after all. This blue one mewled loudly as he approached, soaring to land perfectly atop Loke’s orange hair. Lucy suppressed a giggle at the sight.

The spirit grimaced, ‘Ok, this kitty hates water just as much as any other,’ he gestured to himself, ‘As much as I’d love to stay, my time’s up.’

Lucy held his solemn gaze as he began to fade, light filtering around him in shimmers. With one last, ‘Call me when you need me’ He vanished into a burst of stardust.

The blue cat yowled unhappily as it landed on the ground. Lucy crouched down before the sodden feline, offering a hand to him. Large eyes studied her for a moment, then his fluffy white wings sparkled and they too vanished, and he trotted towards her, purring gleefully.

Lucy smiled, petting his head.

‘Let’s get you dried off.’

.

Back in her hideaway, Levy bound her research notes together, and unceremoniously shoved them into her satchel. She had been away from the kingdom for long enough.

It was time to return home.

[curiosiccusarchived]

💯 💗 👰🌼 🍬 💕 💔 💑 👎💘

SEX+ROMANCE HEADCANONS!

“O-oh gosh.. Well I’ll try to answer as b-best as I can.”

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

“I’ve never been on a date.. At least not yet. There’s no rush though! I’m more then happy to wait really.. I just want to spend time with my significant other really. Whether it’s inside or outside, wherever really.. As long as I’m with them, that’s all that matters to me really.”

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

“Can’t say that I have, all though it’s not that I haven’t tried.. Just my anxiety tends to get in the way most of the time and keeps me from interacting mostly. I wonder what it’s like though.. to be in love with someone.”

AU; “Y-Yes.. and I feel so.. wonderful. I just.. I d-don’t know what to say.”

👰 Would my muse ever get married?

“I.. I don’t know. I’ve never been in love or gone on a date before, so I’m not sure. I don’t know if anyone is interested enough in me for something like that to occur, but I could be wrong. Anything is possible really…”

AU; “Oh.. I d-don’t know. It would greatly depend if my partner and I were ready for such a thing. For the time being I’m content on where things are, but.. I mean maybe in the future?”

🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?

“If such a thing were to occur, I think I would prefer a small wedding.. I’m not the type for big parties or loud events really. Just something small between friends or perhaps just the two of us or how many partners are involved would be fine with me.”

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

“I’m not sure really. I guess a switch, if I’m being honest. There are moments where I’m fine with being in the dominate position, given my size and all but I can also be submissive as well if my partner wants to be on top. As long as my partner and I are happy, I don’t really care what position I’m in. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt and for us to enjoy the exchange.”

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

“I’ve never been in such a relationship before, but as long as all of us were happy, then I don’t see why not. I mean us Cybertronians sometimes have relationships like this, so it’s nothing new to us really. We can have three partners, four partners or even more. It just depends on if everyone gets along and is happy. I always did find myself curious about such a bond..”

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

“I’ve never had one.. At least as far as I can remember? If I had any relationship prior to my accident, then sadly all of those are gone. Any relationship I have are now new and different and so far I haven’t broken anyone’s heart or had my own broken, at least I don’t think that is the case…” 

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

“Oh goodness! I.. I don’t know really! I just want someone to be able to accept me for how I am and the many flaws that I have. I want someone who is sweet and means what they say and don’t hide their feelings from me. I want someone who is honest and true. I want someone who is willing to be patient with me and understand that I’m still trying to learn things about not just myself, but about affection and dating and about them as well. I hope that’s not asking for too much.. and if it is, I’m sorry.. I just want to be able to love and be loved in returned really.”

👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?

“Oh no! Never! The very idea of that is just.. No. To think that someone went out of their way to love me and for me to just go and do that, I would never be able to forgive myself and I wouldn’t blame my partner for not being able to forgive me as well. I remain true and dedicated to whoever I’m with. Always. I suppose the only time would be if it’s a polygamous relationship and we had a understanding between all of us, but even then I would want to stay true and dedicated to who I was with all ready. That’s just.. how I am I suppose.”

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

“Oh well.. I suppose if I’m feeling brave enough, I like to be affectionate with my significant other by giving them kisses or simply hugging them. Holding them to me. Lifting them up in my arms and nuzzling them. I also from time to time like to craft things for my partner akin to their interests. Like say for example they’re into.. plants or something, I would craft them a planter of sorts and go out of my way to even mix two species of plants together to create an entirely new one, just for them. Maybe if I’m not feeling too shy, I’d sing to them.. I don’t know really. I just want to do anything with them to make them happy and to let them know I love them with all my spark.”

[muggle-zoology]

Hey do you have any advice for how I can work in animal conservation or like zoology work. I’m close to graduating college with a bachelors degree in psychology. Sadly when I started I was to afraid to go for what I really wanted, which was zoology. And now part of me feels like it’s too late to do anything but I just really want to work with animals or wildlife in some way. I would do more schooling if I had too. But I was just wondering if you had any advice on what I could do.

Hey Anon!

I would like to preface this by saying that I don’t work in animal conservation or zoology myself currently, I’m working through my Honours and have a couple of volunteer positions. 

But I hope I can give you some advice anyway!

Depending on where you are in the world some of this might not be as useful, but all I’ve got to draw on is my experience here in Australia. 

I’m going to be honest, conservation and zoology unfortunately are fairly underfunded fields and there is a high chance that you will have to do a lot of volunteering to get anywhere. Jobs can be hard to come by depending on what you want to do and how far you are willing to move.

But don’t let that discourage you, even if a full-time career in this field is not what you are after or get, there are still many ways to get involved and help.

It’s definitely not too late! Depending on the type of work you want to get into, you may need to do extra schooling (eg. research), but if it’s a more practical hands on thing it’s more useful to have experience and maybe a certificate. And in general, experience is way more useful than having a bachelor (unless the job specifies you have to have one). It’s one thing to have the theory, another to be actually able to do something with it. 

I don’t know how things work where you are, but it may be possible for you to get to the next level (masters possibly?) and switch to conservation now that you have a bachelor in science, and you may just need to do a couple of bridging units to bring you up to speed. The best way to see if this is possible to talk to someone at your college. 

A great way to get some hands on experience is to see if there is a wildlife rehab center near where you live. Those kinds of places are almost always looking for volunteers and are generally happy if you’re willing to spend a couple of hours a week there. They give great hands on experience and learning opportunities that you can put on your resume. 

A museum may also be a good place to go. Despite the general opinion, museums are by and large research institutions that have seasoned academics working on numerous projects which range from taxonomy to genetics and more things than I will ever be able to understand (and that’s only in Zoology). One person I met at the Australian Museum in Sydney ended up traveling over south-east Asia and Africa helping identify illegal ivory that had been seized. Others identify new species which changes the conservation status and how they are managed. Depending on where you live, the number of volunteer positions may be different, but unless they really do have more than they can handle, I doubt they’d turn you away. Museum staff also tend to know who’s who in conservation circles and may be able to point you in the right direction.

Things like animal parks and zoos will be more difficult since more people will want to be involved. For example, the Perth Zoo has a waiting list for volunteers wanting to become Docents (the guides), and you have to have been a Docent for about 4 years before you are allowed to volunteer with the animals directly. They also only recruit volunteers once a year. But it’s still worth a shot!

Once you have some experience you may be able to do a certificate which you can use as further proof of experience. 

Check the Zoology department at your college, research students are sometimes looking for volunteers. You could help in the field with data collection, or simply helping them put their data into a database. Both of which are good things to have a reference for. 

Any kind of field-based volunteering will be harder to manage, especially since they generally require a minimum one week commitment. They are incredibly useful, but you will often have to pay for your own travel costs and any equipment, and depending on what you are handling, perhaps even a rabbies shot (which in Australia cost $300). A couple of friends of mine have done a year-long volunteering trip to the Kalahari where they monitored meerkats. It looked amazing, but they had to pay for everything except food and accommodation. Which if you’re like me and don’t have about $3000 dollars to use and need to worry about where you were going to live when you got back, isn’t an ideal situation. 

PhD students tend to have funding from their projects that they will be able to foot a fair portion of the bill. And most government institutions will at least give a weekly allowance to help pay for food and fuel, and will generally have a place nearby that you can live in if you are travelling to get there. You can learn about these simply by emailing their inquiries email and asking if there are any positions available or if they can put you on their volunteer mailing list so you hear about them quickly.

And never forget out useful social media can be! There are entire Facebook groups/pages that dedicate themselves to posting volunteer and job opportunities. Follow local conservation groups and government agencies on Facebook, they will often post something. Follow them on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, wherever they post.https://www.facebook.com/WildlifeJobSearch/

And there are also websites dedicated to this:https://www.environmentjobs.com/ https://www.conservation-careers.com/http://www.ecojobs.com/index.php

I know it can be daunting, and for a long time I doubted whether I had made the right decision in picking Zoology as my major. But there are a lot of ways to get your foot in the door, no matter on how involved you end up deciding to become. 

I hope this has helped!

[thelastspeecher]

Stanford “Unable to Make a Proper Field Journal” Pines, PhD

*checks watch* Yep it’s about time for my regular “Ford does not know how to do field work” rant.  

If you’re wondering “who are YOU to tell Stanford Filbrick Pines that he doesn’t know how to make a field journal”, well, don’t worry, I know what I’m talking about.  I have a bachelor’s degree in biology (double emphasis in microbiology and environmental biology) and geology, both of which involved maintaining a field journal as part of the lab requirement.  I’ve made far too many field journals.  I know what a good one looks like.  And yes, I have pictures of one of those field journals.  (I apologize in advance; I misplaced my biology field journals, so all of my pictures are from one of my geology field journals.)

Here’s a taste:

Look, Ford is great.  I love the man. I relate to him to an almost unnerving degree, probably due to the fact that I myself am a scientist.  But damn, I seriously question whether any of Ford’s ten PhD’s was in a field that involved field work.  Because if I turned in a field journal that looked like any of Ford’s journals, my teachers would have given me a big, fat F.  Why?  A lot of reasons, but arguably the biggest one: complete lack of context.

Context is crucial in research.  Not just even context like “this is why my research is relevant”, but context like “this is where I saw the thing, this is what the weather was like when I saw the thing, this is what was around me when I saw the thing”.  I wasn’t able to locate my biology field journals, sadly, but I remember what was required on each entry.  Some of the requirements:

Date

Arrival time

Departure time

Location (e.g. “Riparian zone to the south of 1st National Bank in Rockford”)

Slope (not just “there is a slope here”, literally measuring the angle and direction of slope)

Weather

Biome type (e.g. “conifer forest”, “grassland prairie”)

Dominant vegetation

And all of that’s before the actual notes on the location!  Because they provide context.  Date – time of year will influence vegetation and animals.  Arrival and departure times – different species are active during different times of day.  Location – some species might only live in one incredibly specific location.  Slope – influences vegetation, temperature, and humidity.  Weather – some species only come out during certain types of weather (think worms that come up when it rains).  Biome type – self-explanatory.  Dominant vegetation – influences animals, since some species only consume specific plants. These are all incredibly crucial things to note at a location that you are studying.  You need the context of all those factors if you want to repeat your results.

And in science, the key is to have reproduceable results.  If you have a species that is only present in a coniferous forest, you won’t be able to reproduce your results in a deciduous forest.  But if you never wrote down that you saw that species in a coniferous forest, you might never find them again.  And no, you won’t remember.  Trust me.  It’s a saying in scientific fields.  “Write it down.  You won’t remember.”

Now, Stanford Pines. He studies magical animals.  All of the things I said apply to normal animals. Magical animals are gonna be 1000% more difficult!  Ford needs to be writing down what phase the moon is in, what direction he’s facing, maybe even what he ate for breakfast.  But he’s not writing down any of it!  The scientific world is NEVER going to believe him unless they themselves can reproduce his results.  And without the context his research so desperately needs, that’s never going to happen.

Oh, another aspect of context that he’s missing: none of his sketches have scale.  If you draw something, you need scale.  If you take a picture of something, you put something in that picture for scale.  Otherwise, we don’t know how big something actually is.  Another thing needed, if the drawing is of a sufficiently big object, say, the mysterious cliffs in Gravity Falls that are due to a UFO crash, you also need N/S, E/W.  Drawing that cliff amounts to drawing a topographic profile.  And you need context when drawing a topographic profile. Case in point:

Actually, while we’re talking about the cliffs: we need more information on those.  Those are a geologic feature.  If you’re going to describe a geologic feature, you need to include the pertinent geologic information.  That means rock type, dominant minerals, strike and dip, and anything else a geologist might note.

Also, before jumping to the conclusion of “these cliffs are CLEARLY due to a UFO crash”, maybe ask a geologist how you might get a cliff like that to form.  Okay, yeah, in this case, the conclusion was right. But generally speaking in science, you only resort to “aliens did it” once you’ve exhausted every single option. Which we have no indication of Ford doing.

“But Ford isn’t a geologist, he wouldn’t know how to find those things.”  Well, then he shouldn’t be describing a geologic feature.  He should be taking a picture to send to a geologist, or better yet, bringing a geologist along.  If you see something that you don’t know how to describe, in science you don’t just do your best.  You find someone who does know.

So, now that I’ve mostly covered the context that Ford is missing, let’s talk organization and neatness. It’s not organized enough and it’s too neat.  No, those aren’t contradictory.

By organization, I mean breaking up the journal into different sections based on date and trip. Making separate entries.  See this note from one of my professors on my field journal:

It says “Include trip title at beginning of notes”.  Ford doesn’t do that. Well, he does that sometimes.  But he doesn’t do it consistently.  And you need that.  Especially if you have the context I talked about at the beginning. You need to separate which context goes with which entry.  Because, and I’m gonna say it again, research needs context.

Most field journals and lab books also have numbered pages and a table of contents at the beginning, which you can fill out yourself.  That’s optional, not required, but if you have a lot of research and you want to find something quickly, it’s very useful.  

Now the handwriting. It’s too neat.  Too nice.  No, this is a thing.  It really is. I’ve gotten docked points for my handwriting being too neat and organized in my field journal before.  Not because they were upset they could read my handwriting, but because the neatness was evidence that I erased my original notes. Which you should not do.  I took pictures of my notes so that I could copy them down word for word, just more neatly, but that doesn’t matter.  Because my teachers didn’t have proof that they were my original notes.  And if they weren’t my original notes, then they are probably inaccurate.  Remember: “Write it down.  You won’t remember.”  And as proof that there’s no way Ford was actually writing all this out in the field, here’s a sample of my handwriting:

It’s very neat and nice, isn’t it?  This is how I write when I’m careful and take my time.  Versus this:

This is how I write when I’m out in the field.  Because you aren’t sitting nice in the field.  You’re standing awkwardly or squatting awkwardly or leaning against something or using non-flat surfaces as writing surfaces.  Google pictures of field research and you’ll see what I mean.  You cannot write nice out in the field.  It’s impossible.  I feel confident in saying that, not only because I’ve written while out in the field, but also because every single professor I’ve ever had could tell what in my field journal was originally written in the field and what wasn’t.

Stanford Pines’ notes weren’t written out in the field.  They were written from the comfort of a writing desk.  So they aren’t trustworthy.

And my last point about why Ford clearly does not know how to make a field journal: he has zero consistency as to what he puts in it.

It’s got plenty of field stuff in it.  Plenty of information on the various weird shit in Gravity Falls.  Well, not plenty.  Some of his entries could use more information on the critters.  Some of them could use a lot more information on the critters.  And other entries…honestly, why the hell are they even in there?  Did Ford really need to include an entire entry on himself? On the history of Gravity Falls? On his own (reasonable) paranoia after finding out Bill’s true intentions?  Uh, no.  In these areas, it very clearly ceases to be a field journal, and serves as Ford’s personal journal.  There’s nothing wrong with having a personal journal, naturally.  The problem is when it is masqueraded as scientific research.

…And that’s all I’ve got. At least, right now.  I very well might think of other things that prove Ford doesn’t know how to make a field journal.

I sincerely hope that Ford eventually takes at least one (1) class in which he learns how field journals actually work.