rent-a-car-sharjah-blog

[cagesings]

@honorhearted​  sent:  7.  is  your  muse  the  big  spoon  or  the  little  spoon?  9.  is  your  muse  attracted  to  any  features  in  particular?

 7.  is  your  muse  the  big  spoon  or  the  little  spoon?

 i’ve  actually  had  conversations  about  this  and  the  conclusion  is,  well,  complicated.  i  think  johanna  would  rather  be  the  big  spoon  due  to  her  body  image  issues.  part  of  her  doesn’t  want  her  romantic  partner  to  discover  what  she  considers  to  be  a  fault  (  which,  in  reality,  are  usually  non-existent  or  incredibly  minor  ).  johanna  is  almost  very  claustrophobic.  she  won’t  be  in  a  room  if  the  door  is  locked  and  refuses  to  wear  prefers  shawls  to  coats  in  her  nineteenth  century  canon  because  of  the  straight  jackets  at  foggs.  even  something  like  being  the  little  spoon  might  set  it  off.  however,  i  think  she  ends  up  being  the  little  spoon  most  of  the  time.  for  one  thing,  she’s  tiny.  but  she  secretly  loves  to  be  held  like  that.  it  takes  a  lot  for  her  to  admit  something  like  that  because  yes,  even  though  spooning  does  not  have  to  be  sensual  at  all,  she  lowkey  considers  it  to  be.  cuddling  is  something  only  reserved  for  romantic  partners  because  in  her  mind  in  general,  it’s  too  intimate  for  anyone  else,  and  with  the  anything  within  the  more  sensual  activities  category,  it  needs  to  be  communicated  and  talked  out  a  lot.  then,  she’s  comfortable  being  the  little  spoon.  

 9.  is  your  muse  attracted  to  any  features  in  particular?

 this  is  something  you  will  never  hear  johanna  admit  to  herself.  that  said,  she  is  incredibly  attracted  to  tall  men.  she’s  very  short  and  she  crushes  on  tall  men  because  they  can  protect  her  and  they’re  so  tall  and  ahh!!  also  hair  is  a  big  one  for  her.  i  ramble  on  and  on  about  how  much  johanna  loves  her  own  hair  so  why  wouldn’t  it  be  a  feature  she’s  super  attracted  to?  she  doesn’t  have  a  specific  type  of  hair  that  she’s  into.  it  just  needs  to  be  soft  and  look  like  she  could  run  her  hands  through  it.  to  a  lesser  extent,  she  looks  a  lot  at  arms.  do  they  look  like  arms  that  could  wrap  around  her  and  make  her  feel  safe??  cool.  she’s  into  that.  

[felikatze]

ISAT and Ludonarrative Harmony: Combat is a Storytelling Tool

Or: How Siffrin is stuck in the endgame grind, forever

Please Note: This is primarily aimed at an audience that already played In Stars and Time, because I am bad at explaining things, and it's good to already know what the fuck I'm talking about. I tend to only bring up game elements as I want to talk about them.

Spoilers for.... all of ISAT! Especially Act 5!

(image to show how i feel posting this and as an attention grabber over my wall of text)

To pull a definition of ludonarrative harmony out of a hat, game writer Lauryn Ash defines it as follows:

Ludonarrative harmony is when gameplay and story work together to create a meaningful and immersive experience. From a design implementation perspective, it is the synchronized interactions between in-game actions (mechanics) and in-world context (story).

It is, generally speaking, how well game mechanics work hand in hand with the story. I, personally, think ISAT is an absolute masterclass of it, so I want to take a look at how ISAT specifically uses its battle system to emphasize Siffrin's character arc and create organic story moments. I want you to keep this in mind when I talk here.

So, skills, right? If you've played any turn-based RPG, you know your Fire spells, your "BACKSLASH! AIRSLASH! BACKSLASH!" and the many ways to style those.

Well, what does casting "Fire" say about your character? Not all that much, does it? Perhaps you'll have typical divisions. The smart one is the mage, the big brawny one is your tank, the petite one's the healer. And that's the barebones of ISAT's main party, but it's much more than that.

Every character's style of combat tells you something about them. Odile, the Researcher, is the most well-travelled and knowledgable of the bunch. She's the one with the expertise to keep a cool head and analyze the enemy, yet also able to use all three of the Rock-Paper-Scissors craft types.

To reflect her analytical view of things, all her skill names are just descriptive, the closest to your most bog-standard RPG. "Slow IV" or "Paper III" serve well to describe their purpose. The high number of the skills gives the impression there were three other Slow skills beforehand - fitting, considering the party starts at level 45, about to head into the final dungeon. She's also the oldest, so she's the slowest of the bunch.

Isabea, the Fighter, has all his skills in exclamation points. "YOUR TURN!!!" "SO WEAK!!!" "SMASH!!!" they're straightforward, but excited. He's a purposefully cheerfull guy, so his skills revolve around cheering on his allies. He's absolutely pumped to be here, and you see that from his skill names alone.

Mirabelle, the Housemaiden, is an interesting case. She's by all means the true protagonist of this tale - She's the one "Chosen by the Change God," the only one who survived the King's first attack, the only one immune to his ability to freeze time, the only dual-craft type of the game - just a lot of things. And her skill names reflect that facade she puts on herself - she can do this, she can win! She has to believe it, or else she starts doubting. This is how you get "Jolly Round Rondo" and "Mega Sparkle Heal" or "Adorable Moving Cure." She's styled every bit a sailor scout shojo heroine, and her moveset replicates the naming conventions of "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"

Even Bonnie, the Kid, who can't be controlled in combat, has named craft skills. And they very much reflect that Bonnie is, well, a kid. "Wolf Speed Technique" or "Thousand Blows Technique" are very much the phrasings of a child who learned one complicated word and now wants to use it in everything to seem cooler than they are, which is none, because they're twelve.

Siffrin's skills are all puns.

You have an IMMEDIATE feel for personality here. Between "Knife to Meet You!" and "Too Cleaver by Half," you know Siffrin's the type to always crack a joke no matter the situation, slinging witticisms around to put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame. It's just such a clever way to establish character using a game mechanic as old as the entire history of RPGs.

This is only the baseline of the way the combat system feeds into the story, though.

The timeloop, of course, feeds into it. Siffrin is the only character who retains experience upon looping, whereas all other characters are reset to their base level and skills. And it sucks (affectionate).

You're extremely likely to battle more often the earlier in the game you are - after all, you need the experience (for now.) Every party member contributes, and Siffrin isn't all that strong on their own, since they focus on raw scissor type damage with the addition of one speed buff. (Of course it's a speed buff. They're a speedy fucker. Just look at him).

At first, the difference in level between Siffrin and the rest of the group is rather negligible. Just a level or two. Just a bit more speed and attack. And then Siffrin grows further and further apart. Siffrin keeps learning new skills. He gets a healing skill that doubles as an attack boost, taking away from both Mirabelle's and Isabeau's usefullness. He gets Craft skills of every type that even give you two jackpot points instead of one - thus obliterating Odile's niche. Siffrin turns into a one-person army capable of clearing most encounters all on their own.

Siffrin's combat progression is an exact mirror of story progression - as their experience inside the loops grows, they also grow further and further away from their party. The party seems... weaker, slower, clumsier. Always back at their starting point, just as all of their character arcs are reset each loop. Never advancing, always stagnant. And you have Siffrin as the comparison post right next to them.

I also want to point out here a change from Act 2 to Act 3 - Siffrin's battle portrait. He stops smiling.

Battles keep getting easier. This is true both for the reason that Siffrin keeps growing stronger even when all enemies stay the same, but also for the reason that you, the player, learn more about the battle system and the various encounters, until you've learned perfect boss clear strategies just from repetition. Have you ever watched a speedrunner play Pokemon? They've played this game so many times, they could do it blindfolded and sleeping. Your own knowledge and Siffrin's new strength work in tandem to trivialize the game's entire combat system as the game progresses.

(Is it still fun? Playing it over, and over, and over again? Is it?)

You and Siffrin are in sync, your experience making everything trivial.

As time goes on, Siffrin grows to care less and less about performing right for their party and more and more about going fast. A huge moment in his character is marked by the end of Act 3; because of story events I won't delve too deeply into, Siffrin has grown afraid of trying something new. And his options of escape are closing in. They need an answer, and they need it fast. He doesn't have the time or patience to dumb himself down, so you unlock one new skill.

It doesn't occur with level up, or with a quest, or anything at all. At the start of Act 4, it simply appears in Siffrin's Craft skills.

(Just attack.)

No pun. No joke. Just attack. Once you notice, the effect is immediate - here you have it, a clear sign of how jaded Siffrin has become, right at every encounter. And it's a damn good attack, too! The only available attack in the game that deals "massive" damage against all enemies. Because it doesn't add any jackpot points (at least, it's not supposed to), you set up a combo with everybody else, but Siffrin simply tears away at the enemy with wild abandon. Seperated from the rest of the party by the virtue of no longer needing to contribute to team attacks (most of the time. It's still useful if they do, though).

Once again, an aspect of the battle system enhances the degree of separation between Siffrin and the static characters of his play. You're incentivized to separate him, even.

Additionally, there are two more skills to learn. They're the only skills that replace previous skills. You only get them at extremely high levels, the latter of which I didn't even reach on both of my playthroughs.

The first, somewhere in the level 70 range, Rose Printed Glasses, a paper type craft skill, is replaced by Tear You Apart. It's still a pun about paper, but remarkedly more vicious.

The second is even more on the nose. At level 80, In A While, Rockodile!, a rock type craft skill, is replaced by the more powerful Rock Bottom.

I didn't get to level 80. If you do, you pretty much have to do it on purpose. You have to keep going much longer than necessary, as Siffrin is just done. And the last skill he learns is literally called Rock Bottom.

What do I even need to say, really.

Your party doesn't stay static forever, though.

By doing their hangout quests, side quests throughout the loops that result in Siffrin and the character having a heart to heart, all of them unlock what I'd call an "ultimate" skill. You know the type - the character achieved self-fulfillment, hit rank 10 on their confidant, maxed out their skill tree, and received a reward for their trouble.

These skills are massively useful. My favorite is Odile's - it makes one enemy weak to all Craft types for several turns, which basically allows you to invalidate the first and third boss, as well as just clown on the King, especially once Siffrin starts racking up damage.

But the thing is. In Act 3, when you first get them, yeah, they're useful. But... do you need them? After all, they're such a hassle to get. You need to do the whole character quest again, you can't loop forward in the House or you'll lose them. If you want to take these skills to the King, you need to commit. Go the full nine-yards and be nice to your friends and not die and not skip forward or skip back. Which is annoying, right?

Well, I sure did think so during Act 4. After all, a base level party can still defeat the King, just with a few more tricky pieces involved. Siffrin can oneshot almost all basic enemies by the time of Act 4. It's this exact evalutation that you, the player, go through everytime you return to Dormont. Do I want this skill, still? Would it not be faster to go on without it? I'm repeating myself, but that's the thing! That's what Siffrin is thinking, too!

I also want to take a quick moment to note, here - all skills gained from hangouts have art associated with them, which no other skills do. This feature, the nifty art, hammers home these as "special" skills, besides just how they're unlocked.

Siffrin also has one skill with associated art.

Yeah, you guessed it, it's (Just attack.)

At first, helping the characters is tied to a hefty in-game reward, but that reward loses its value, and in return devalues helping Siffrin's friends every loop. It's too tedious for a skill that'll make a boss go by one turn faster. You, the player, grow jaded with the battle system. Grinding experience isn't worth it, everybody's highest levels are already recorded. Fighting bosses isn't worth it, it's much faster to loop forward.

Isn't this what all endgame in video games looks like? You already beat the final boss, and now... what challenge is left? Is there a point to keep playing? Most games will have some post-game content. A superboss to test your skills against, but ISAT doesn't have any of that. You're forever left chasing to the post-game. That's the whole point - to escape the game.

As most games get more difficult as time passes, ISAT only gets easier. The game becomes disinterested in expanding its own mechanics just as I ran out of new things to fight after 100%-ing Kingdom Hearts 3. Every encounter becomes a simple game of "press button to win."

The final boss just takes that one up a notch.

Spoilers for Act 5 ahead boys!

In Act 5, Siffrin utterly loses it. His last possible hope for escape failed him, told him there's nothing she can do, and Siffrin is trapped for eternity. So of course, they go insane and run up the entire House without their party.

This just proves what you already knew - you dont need the party to proceed. Siffrin alone is strong enough. And here, Siffrin has entirely shed the facade of the jokester they used to be. Every single skill now follows the (Just attack.) naming conventions. Your skills are: (Paper.) (Rock.) (Scissors.) (Breathe.)

To the point. Not a moment wasted, because Siffrin can't take a moment longer of any of this. Additionally, his level is set to 99 and his equipment becomes fixed. You can't even pick up items anymore! Not that you needed them at this point anyway, right? Honestly, I never used any items besides the Salty Broth since Act 2, so I stopped picking items up a long time ago. Now you just literally can't.

Something I've not talked about until now - one of the main equipment types in this game are Memories, gained for completing subquests or specific interactions and events. They all by and large have little effects - make Odile's tonics heal more, or have Mirabelle cast a shield at the start of combat. For the hangout events, you also gain an associated memory that boosts the characters' stats by 30. It lets them keep up with Siffrin again! A fresh wind! Finally, your party members feel on par with you again!

...For a time. And just like that, they're irrelevant again, just as helping them gave Siffrin a brief moment of hope that the power of friendship could fix everything.

In Act 5, your memory is set to "Memory of Emptiness." It allows you to loop back in the middle of combat. You literally can't die anymore. Not that Siffrin could've died by this point in the first place, unless you forgot about the King's instant-kill attack. This one memory takes away the false pretense that combat ever had any stakes. Siffrin's level being set to 99 means even the scant exp you get is completely wasted on them. All stakes and benefits from combat have been removed. It has become utterly pointless.

Frustrating, right? It's an artistic frustration, though. It traps you right here in Siffrin's shoes, because he hates that all these blinding Sadnesses are still walking around just as much. It all inspires just a tiny fraction of that deep rolling anger Siffrin experiences here in the player.

And listen, it was cathartic, that one time Siffrin snapped and stabbed the tutorial Sadness, wasn't it? Because who enjoys sitting through the tutorial that often? Siffrin doesn't. I don't, either.

So, since combat is an useless obstacle now meant to inspire frustration, what do you do for a boss? You can't well make it a gameplay challenge now, no. The bosses of Act 5 are an emotional challenge: a painful wait.

First, Siffrin fights the King, alone. This is already nervewracking because of one factor - in every other run, you need Mirabelle's shield skill, or else you're scripted to die. You're actually forced to fight the King multiple times in Act 3, and have to do it at least once in Act 4, though you'll likely do it more. Point is: you know how this fight works.

You know Siffrin's fight is doomed from the outset, but all you can do is keep slinging attacks. Siffrin is enough of a powerhouse to take the King's HP down, what with the healing and buff skills they have now, not to even mention you can just go all in on damage and then loop back.

(And no matter which way you play it, whether you just loop or use strategically, it reflects on Siffrin, too. Has he grown callous enough not even death will stop their mission? Or does he still avoid pain, as much as he can?)

This fight still allows you the artifice of even that much choice, not that it matters. The other shoe drops eventually - Siffrin becomes slower, and slower. Unsettling, considering this game works on an Action Gauge system. You barely get turns anymore. The screen gets darker, and darker. Until Siffrin is frozen in time, just as you knew he had to be, because you know how this encounter works, know it can't be cleared without Mirabelle.

And, then, a void.

Siffrin awakens to nothingness. The only way to tell you've hit a wall is if Siffrin has no walking animation to match your button inputs. You walk, and walk, until you're approached by.... you. The next enemy encounter of the game, and Siffrin's absolute lowest point: Mal Du Pays.

Or, "Homesickness," in english. If you know the game, you know why it's named this, but that's not the point at the moment.

Thing is, where you could damage the King and are damaged in turn, giving you at least a proper combat experience, even if its doomed to fail, Mal Du Pays has no such thing.

You can attack. You can defend. But it is immune to all attacks. And in return, it does nothing. It's common, at least, for undefeatable enemies to be a "survive" challenge, but nope. The entire fight is "press button and wait." Except, remember the previous fight against the King? The entire time, you were waiting for the big instant death attack to drop. That feeling, at least for me, carried forward. I was incredibly on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, as is a pattern, Siffrin is, too. As Siffrin's attacks fail to connect, they start talking to Mal Du Pays.

But he gets no response, as you get no attacks to strategize around. The wait for anything to happen is utterly agonizing. You and Siffrin are both waiting for something to happen. This isn't a fight. It just pretends to be. It's an utter rugpull, because Siffrin was so undefeatable for most of Act 4 and all of Act 5 so far. It's kind of terrifying!

and it does. It finally does something. Ma Du Pays speaks, in the voice of Siffrin's friends, listing out their deepest fears. I think it's honestly fantastic. You're forced to just sit here and listen to Siffrin's deepest doubts, things you know the characters could not say because it references the timeloops they're all utterly unaware of. This is all Siffrin, talking to himself. And all you, all Siffrin, can do, is keep wailing away on the enemy to no effect whatsoever.

So of course this ends with Siffrin giving up. What else can you do?

And then Siffrin's friends show up and unfreeze them and it's all very cool yay. The pure narrative scenes aren't really the main focus but I want to point out here:

A) Mirabelle is in the first party slot here, referencing how she's the de facto protagonist, and Bonnie fills in the fourth slot left empty, which shows all characters uniting to save Siffrin

B) this is the only instance of the other party members having act specific battle icons: they're all smiling brightly, further pushed by the upbeat music

C) the reflecting shield Mirabelle uses to freeze the King uses a variation of her hangout skill cut in, marking it as her true "final" skill and giving the whole fight a more climatic feeling.

It's also a short gameplay sequence with Siffrin utterly uninvolved in the battle. You can't even see them onscreen. But... it feels warm, doesn't it? Everybody coming together. Siffrin doesn't have to fight anymore.

At last, the King is defeated. Siffrin and co. make for the Head Housemaiden, to have her look at Siffrin's sudden illness. Siffrin is utterly exhausted, famished, running a fever. And this isn't unexpected - after all, their skills in Act 5 had no cooldown. For context, instead of featuring any sort of MP system, all skills work on a cooldown basis, where a character can't use it for a certain number of turns. The lowest cooldown is actually Siffrin's Knife to Meet You, which has a cooldown of 1. In universe, this is reasoned as the characters needing a break from spamming craft in order to not exhaust themselves.

Siffrin's skills in Act 5 having no cooldown/being infinitely spammable isn't a sign of their strength - it's a sign that he refuses to let himself rest in order to rush through as fast as possible.

Moving on, Siffrin panics when seeing the Head Housemaiden, because seeing her means one thing: the end. Prior to this in the game, every single time you beat the King, the loop ends when you talk to the Head Housemaiden.

Reality breaks down, the whole shebang. It's here that Siffrin realizes - they don't want the loops to end, because the end of their journey means their family will leave, and he'll be alone again. The happiest time of his life will be over.

Siffrin goes totally ballistic, to say the least.

As it turns out (and was heavily foreshadowed narratively), Siffrin has been using Wish Craft to subconciously cause the timeloop because of their abandonment issues. It's rather predictable if you paid attention to literally anything, but it's extremely notable how heavily Siffrin is paralleled to the King, the antagonist they swore to kill by themself at the start of Act 5. The King wants to freeze Vaugarde in time because it is, in his mind, "perfect," for accepting him after he lost his home - a backstory he shares with Siffrin.

Siffrin has become the exact antagonist he swore to kill, and it's shown by how the next fight utterly flips everything on its head.

Siffrin is the final boss.

In a towering form made of stars, Siffrin looks down at their friends. His face is terrified, because of his internal conflict; he can't hurt his friends, but he can't let them go, either. The combat prompt is simply changed to "END IT!"

This fight is similar to the previous, in that you just need to wait a certain number of turns until its over. However, this time, it's not dreadful suspense. It's... confusion, and hesitance.

You have two options for combat: Attack your friends, or attack yourself.

And... you don't really want to do either, I think. I certainly don't. But what else can you do? It's Siffrin's desires clashing in full force. Attack your friends, and force them to stay? Or attack yourself, and let them go safely without you?

Worth noting, here - when you attack Siffrin's friends, you can't harm them. Isabeau will shield all attacks. And when you attack yourself, Mirabelle will heal you back to full. And the friends don't... do anything, either. How could they? Occasionally, Mirabelle heals you and Isabeau shouts words of motivation, but the main thing is...

(Your friends don't know what to do.)

None of them want to harm Siffrin. Both sides simply stare at each other, resolute in their conviction but unwilling to end it with violence. It's of note that this loop, the last one, is the only loop where the King isn't killed. Just frozen. And now here is Siffrin, clamoring for the same eternity the King was. Of course everything ends in a tearfilled conversation as Siffrin sees their friends won't leave him, even after the journey ends, but I still have to appreciate this moment.

Siffrin is directly put in the position with their friends as his enemies, forced to physically reckon that keeping them in this loop is an act of violence, against both their friends, and against himself.

It's a happy ending. But... what does it mean?

Of course, ISAT is obviously about the fear of change. Siffrin is afraid of the journey ending, and of being alone. However, ISAT is also a game about games. Siffrin is playing the same game, over and over, because it's comforting. It's familiar. It's nice, to know exactly what happens next. These characters might just be predictable lines of dialogue, but... they feel like friends. Have you ever played a game, loved it, put countless hours into it, but you never finished it? Because you just couldn't bear to see it end? For the characters to leave your life, for there to be a void in your heart where the game used to be?

After all, maybe it became part of your routine! You play the game every day, slowly chipping away at it for weeks at a time. For me, I beat ISAT in four days. It utterly consumed me during this time. I had 36 hours of playtime by the end. Yeah, in that week, I did not do much more than play ISAT.

And once i beat it, i beat it, again. I restarted the game to see the few scenes I missed, most specifically the secret boss I won't talk about here. I... couldn't let go of the game yet. I wanted to see every scrap I could. I still do. I'm writing this, in part because I still do. It's scary to let go.

Ever heard the joke term of "Postgame Depression?" It's when you just beat a game, and you're suddenly sad. Maybe because the ending affected you emotionally and you need to process the feelings it invoked, or you search for something that can now fill your time with it gone.

The game ends, for real this time, the last time you talk to the Head Housemaiden. But Siffrin gets... scared. What if everything loops back again? And so, his family offers to hold his hand. They face the end, together.

For all loops, including the ending, you never see what happens after. After they leave the loop for good. Because the loop is the game itself. It's asking you to trust that life goes on for these characters, and it holds your hand as it asks you to let go. There's a reason for Siffrin's theater metaphors. He is the actor, and the director, asking everyone to do it over one more time. He's a character within the game, and its player.

There's a reason I talked about endgame content. This, the way it all repeats, there's nothing new, difficulty and stakes bleed away as you snap the game over your knee - it's my copy of White 2 with two hundred hours in it. It's me playing Fire Emblem Awakening in under 3 hours while skipping every cutscene. Are you playing for the sake of play, for the sake of indulging in your memories, because you're afraid of the hole it'll leave when you stop?

Of note: the narrative never condemns Siffrin for unwittingly causing their own suffering. He's a victim of circumstance. It's seen as endearing, even, that Siffrin loves their friends to the point of rather seeing the world destroyed than them gone. But Siffrin is also told: we'll stay with you for now, but we'll part ways eventually. And one day, you'll have to be okay with it.

Stop draining the things you love of every ounce of enjoyment just because you're afraid of what happens next. I'm not saying to never play your favorite games again. Playing ISAT a second time, I still had a lot of fun! I saw so many new things I didn't before, and I enjoyed myself immensely, reading the same dialogue over and over. But... it makes me look at other games I love and still play, and makes me ask... is this still fun? Do I still need to play this game to enjoy it? Even writing this is an afterimage of my enjoyment, but it's a new way to interact with the game, to analyze it through this lens. Fuck, man, I write fanfiction. Look at me.

All of this, fanart, fanfic, analysis, is a way to prolong that enjoyment without making yourself suffer for it. Without just going through the motions of enjoyment without actually experiencing any. But one day, the thing you love won't be fun to talk and write and draw about. And it's okay. You'll have new things to love. I promise.

In the end.... I'm certain I'll replay ISAT one day. Between great writing, art, puzzles and unresolved mysteries, it's my shoe-in for game of the year.

But I won't replay it for quite some time. I've had enough, for now, so I let my love take other forms.

Siffrin is never condemned, because love is no evil. Be it love for another person, or for a game. And please, if you're overempathetic - it's still a game, at the end of the day. The great thing about games is that you can always boot them up again, no matter how long its been.

A circle within a circle indeed.

To summarize:

The repetitiveness of ISAT's combat, lack of new enemies, and Siffrin's ever increasing strength eventually allows you to snap the combat over your knee, rendering it irrelevant and boring. Though this may seem counterproductive at first, it perfectly mirrors how Siffrin has also grown bored with these repeated encounters and views them only as an obstacle to get past. The reflection of Siffrin's own tiredness with the player's annoyance increases the compassion the player has for Siffrin as a character.

Additionally, the endgame state of the combat system serves as commentary on the state of a favorite game played too often, much like how Siffrin has unwittingly trapped themself in the loop. Despite the game having no more challenge or content left to over, a player might return to their favorite game anyway, solely to try and recreate the early experience of actually having fun with it. This ties into ISAT's metanarrative about the fear of change and refusal to let go of comfort even when the object (here, your favorite video game) offering that comfort has become utterly bereft of any substance to actually engage with. Playing for the sake of playing, with no actual investment to keep going besides your own memories.

Later on, stripping away even the pretense of strategy for a "press button and wait" format of final bosses highlights the lack of options at Siffrin's disposal and truly forces the player into their shoes. Truly, the only way to win is to stop playing.

[the-s1lly-corner]

May I request the cast of Tadc x reader, whose y/n is a mermaid? I already imagine that yn would be right in the digital lake, singing or combing her hair like Ariel-

TADC cast x mermaid!reader !

this one may be a little short since my back is already starting to get all... stiff... sobs.... might go lay down for a few minutes then come back and knock out the other request that got sent in !!

CAINE:

caine is a little perplexed as to why you stay at the lake all the time, your room does have water... though, to be fair, your room is blocked off and small. i think it would take him a while to directly interact with you but just know that every night when you sing hes listening to you... actually now that i think about it, i dont think it would take him long to make himself known, he would probably clap and applaud you after one of your personal performances... probably makes sailor jokes, because, you know, sea stuff and mermaid lore... wants to include you more in stuff so he probably does IHAs that are lake themed, or perhaps makes something sort of like a portable tank..

POMNI:

she probably mistakes you for an NPC for a moment LMAO... i was going to go with an idea that pomni would be into mythology and stuff but now that i think about it, i actually see the opposite now thats more of something i can see zooble and gangle being into... not many ideas for pomni, unfortunately, but i think she would be friendly around you for manners

RAGATHA:

she thinks your really pretty, i think... while ragatha doesnt strike me as the type to be into mythology and stuff, i think she subconsciously is attracted to you because she grew up on stories about mermaids, fairies, and princesses... sure she doesnt remember all that since shes gotten stuck in the digital world, but the instinct to be near you is still there... i think if she got caught listening to you sing she would be so embarrassed, probably tries to excuse herself unless you tell her she can stay.. having someone come by down to the lake is nice, to finally have company

JAX:

has probably snagged your comb and darted to the shore of the lake far enough so that you cant reasonably crawl out of the water and grab it back, assuming you actively need water to survive instead of mobility... but either is really mean in my opinion.. toss him into the water/j actually i dont think he can swim, jax doesnt look like the kind of person to swim.. omg omg bonding moment for when you two get closer, imagine teaching him how to (admin never learned how to swim so theyre unqualified to write this </3)

KINGER:

rarely leaves the tent but lets say he goes down to the lake one day while you happen to be out.. similar to pomni i think he would mistake you for an NPC simply because you are almost never in the tent... i think he would enjoy your singing, though, very calming and it eases him.. quietly listens and returns a few times when he sees youre out. meek apologies when hes caught, hes almost sheepish about it and admits that he should have asked before getting up in your business.. ooo i love this man

ZOOBLE:

"so like, do you drown people," just straight up, probably asks this after a day of jax being more annoying than usual... as mentioned earlier i think they would be really into mythological creatures and lore, as well as cryptids, both before and after joining the circus... sure you probably arent lore accurate to mermaid stories in the real world, but i think they would like to learn about youre whole deal.. sometimes helps you get stuff out of your hair if things get tangled up

GANGLE:

gangle is what gets tangled up in your hair^/j

no but i think she would also be very interested in your whole deal, but is less blunt about it unlike zooble... also thinks your pretty.. i think she would bring stuff down to the lake for you guys to do together, like games and drawing stuff... its nice for the both of you to be away from everyone else but still have company in someone who knows what its like to be cast to the side; be it due to shyness or being locked to a place

[fanfictionroxs]

The Pirate Queens

Pirate Queens Baela and Rhaena who kidnap the crown prince Jacaerys and the lord of the tides Lucerys.. well, it's more a rescue since the brothers' ship is sinking.

Baela & Rhaena ran away from home long time back because misogyny denied them their birthright. They were mere 8 years old then and their mother had just died. Horrible stuff happens and they sneak after their uncle Laenor who fakes his death to escape the tragedies of their house (and his homophobic father), but the ship the girls' follow him in crashes. The girls barely hold onto each other and survive, but their uncle never finds out that he was being followed. 30 years pass and the girls have grown to rule over all pirates with hair died black and enough scars to completely detach themselves from the identity of rich ladies.

They do not remember much of their previous life, only their mother's loving face and the dragons.. but their love for the skies and to take flight never leaves. However, they have no wish to return to dragons and the so called honorable houses where little girls are thrown under grown men. Baela and Rhaena have been free at the sea long enough to understand the madness they come from. However, one day, Rhaena hears of the tale of the flying ship and curiosity makes her seek out the storyteller who sits on a grand ship. The man is tall with a head full of black curly hair and his skin has just the slightest bit of green tinge to it. Rhaena snorts because she sees his commander clothes, but also knows a person out of their depth.. she has learnt to recognize it otherwise she would just send more people to absolutely unnecessary deaths. Better that the land creatures stay on their lands instead of trying to find fins and gills at the bottom of the ocean. The seas didn't come naturally to many, not in the way it did to her and Baela, so she wonders how this man came to be commander.

The commander/storyteller is joined by an older man with a striking resemblance to him and together they continue his story about Peter Pan helping Wendy fly with a bit of magical dust and then.. oh! A flying ship!

Rhaena almost gasps, but a hand closes around her mouth before she can and she relaxes in the hold. Baela

The older man (brother to the storyteller, Rhaena guesses) has a small ship figurine he mimics flying in the air and the sailors around the two men look enchanted. Rhaena looks back at her sister and there is a twinkle in her older sister's eye..who looks enchanted at the sight of the man with the figurine just as the sailors do and Rhaena can see the trouble the pirate queen is going to bring on their heads.. she cannot wait to assist her.

And so, by absolutely no evil machinations on the part of Baela and Rhaena, the ship of the storyteller crashes and well, what are pirates to do but sack and steal? Rhaena is disappointed at the lack of pretty dresses (Luke makes sure to always stack his ships full of dresses later on so that the pirate queens may sack happily). She's not the world's most fashionable pirate for nothing. But she guess the storyteller will have to do. He can regail her with stories of Peter Pan. And if she feels like Peter Pan stealing herself a Wendy who will tell her stories, she keeps it to herself until maybe the sisters' 4th or 5th kidnapping of the princes.

And one day, she hopes, maybe they can find a tinker bell who will sprinkle her magical dust to make Baela and Rhaena's ship Laena, fly. The magic would have to be strong to achieve such a feat, but with the help of Jace and Luke's aunty Alys, they just might be able to do it.

Epilogue: Captain Hook Aemond One-Eye comes to steals Wendy Luke who goes with him happily.. Apparently being kidnapped is not a new thing for the princes. Sometimes it's dragons, sometimes it's wolves and recently it's pirate queens. Basically, Jace and Luke become Baela and Rhaena's land husbands whom they come to visit from time to time unless the girls get impatient and just steal them. Baela has other land husbands too and Jace is a lovely addition to her harem while Jace has other husbands and a wife (Cregan, Aegon, Helaena) and Baela is a positively feral enchanting addition to his harem. Rhaena and Luke share a more platonic love much like Rhaenyra and Laenor once did because they are both super gay, but also soulmates because Peter Pan and Wendy will always be soulmates. Captain Hook cough Aemond cough is a jealous dragon, but he has no choice but to concede to his beloved. He anyway has Alys to keep him company as he follows after her like a lost boy handing her this potion and that herb to help Laena take to the skies.

[fictionadventurer]

I happened to see a good chunk of the Netflix Persuasion. I can't give a complete review or analysis or whatever, but I have thoughts.

This movie has some very pretty colors. I like cool color palettes, what can I say?

There was one shot of a purple sunset where I was like, "Oh, I could live in this picture."

The aesthetic was so trendy I couldn't take it seriously. The clothes were that 2019 Little Women cottagecore vibe with lots of poorly-fitted textures and layers and colors. I laughed out loud at the Big White Text announcing LYME or BATH, because it's such a specific vibe.

I tried to detach from any notion of it as an Austen adaptation, and just enjoy it as its own movie that just happens to take place in a history-flavored fantasy world where everyone uses modern speech. Because sometimes those stories can be fun. It still didn't work.

Because it mostly just confused me. It was this weird mish-mash of genres and tones that didn't really blend together. Oil and water. It was Pinterest and Hallmark and Austen and College Humor and Instagram and Feminism and it's all felt like it came from completely different movies.

It was trying to be a sincere period drama love story and a goofy parody at the same time and it just didn't work.

Like, there were some sweet moments in it. Anne talking about poetry to Captain Benwick was rather nice.

But then you've got things like the weird octopus-sucking-my-face story Anne tells at Lady Dalrymple's. Even that could have worked okay in context, because Mr. Eliot jumps in and turns it into a metaphor about identity, which helps to cover for Anne's awkwardness and shows that he's willing to help her out. But then they keep bringing up the octopus as a sort of pet name and it's just so weird and doesn't fit with the rest of the story.

I've gotten ahead of myself so I'm going to backtrack to some specifics.

Mary Musgrove was excellent. Spot-on. I love how she's visibly younger than Anne. First adaptation I've seen that emphasizes that.

It was interesting how they emphasized the Mrs. Clay storyline. It actually sparked some interesting thoughts about the differences between the male social climbing of the sailors (shown in a positive light in Austen) and the female social climbing of the marriage-seeking ladies (shown in a more negative light).

I've never had a clearer picture of why Mrs. Clay matters so much to Mr. Elliot. Even in the book, it's a bit muddy, but it's crystal clear here. Mr. Elliot telling us his schemes straight-out did have the benefit of making the story very easy to follow.

I've got to back up again.

They completely altered the Anne/Wentworth storyline by mixing around all the plot points.

After they go to Bath, Wentworth seeks out Anne, says that they haven't had a chance to talk, and tells her how he always admired how good she was in an emergency. And this was before the staircase scene. I was extremely confused, until it hit me--this is a dream sequence! This is how Anne wants it to play out, but then she'll wake up!

But no! This actually happened! Wentworth says all this very sincerely and passionately, leading up to him declaring...that he wants to be friends. (At least there's context for "We're worse than exes--we're friends.")

It completely alters the trajectory of their relationship. Instead of jumping from the passion of hatred to the passion of love, Wentworth has gone to the other end of the pole--friendly indifference. He likes Anne and is totally okay with her marrying someone else.

I think they changed it so Mr. Elliot could be a serious contender in the love triangle. Wentworth has let her go--can she find happiness with someone else? I'll admit it's an interesting change, even if it's not Persuasion.

But it also seems like they're trying to make Wentworth a Suitable Love Interest for the Twitter Generation. Wentworth gets weirdly bristly with Mr. Elliot. Then Wentworth apologizes because Anne is a strong woman who doesn't need his protection. He tells her she should have been able to be an admiral. He's being mature and letting go of his resentment and wishing her well and showing that he doesn't like Regency Gender Roles. It's like they're shaving away his character growth in favor of a bland Nontoxic Relationship (TM).

But then Anne likes Mr. Elliot because he's bad? He openly talks about how he's trying to wreck her father's relationship to get the title. He insults her family. And she likes it.

This version of Anne holds her family in contempt. She doesn't like them or how they treat her and she openly disdains it. So she connects with Mr. Elliot. But the book Anne seems sad for her family--she doesn't like their behavior because she wishes they could be better people. She has compassion while movie Anne is resentful.

Persuasion is all about restraint. This movie is all about lack of restraint. People speak bluntly and say what they think and openly insult people. It's a completely different culture from the usual Austen movie, because it's modern culture. Which emphasizes how little we value good manners and restraint.

It's also weird how in changing the story, they also turn it into a generic rom-com. There's a more blatant love triangle between the good boy and the bad boy. Wentworth is starting to fall in love with Anne, but he's got an opportunity to advance his career, and he has to decide within a few days, oh no! It's textbook romcom plot points.

There was another point that I'll probably think of later.

EDIT: Oh, I just remembered! I think it was that the movie was so interested in the vibes and emotions of each individual scene that it didn't bother to try to stitch them together in a coherent whole.

The ending kiss looked 1000% like the cover of a cheap romance novel.

And the final moral of "don't let anyone tell you how to live your life" feels so simplistic and selfish and weird.

Overall, I'm not angry. I'm just confused. It's not the type of movie to arouse any kind of emotion other than "Huh???" And maybe a bit of regret that they couldn't have done better things with the interesting bits.

[ghs-imagines]

Hello I was wondering if you could do punch out headcanons with the S/O finding out their pregnant/their reactions to the tyke when he/she is born

Please and thank you!

I’m just gonna do the punch out wii guys for this but if you request it again for the super punch out guys I’ll happily do it for them then, if that’s ok.

Doc: This man was ecstatic when you gave him the news that you were pregnant, honestly you couldn’t go anywhere without this man letting people that you were expecting. Would definitely give you his back up chocolate bar if you were ever hungry, and only occasionally asks Mac to do a food run for your cravings if he’s busy with other preparations for your kid.

Once your kid has finally been popped out don’t be surprised if he brings them along to Mac’s training and matches. He wants to spend as much time with both of his kids as he can.

Glass Joe: This man definitely cried and just held you once you told him you were expecting. Joe doesn’t want you to lift a finger in your house while you’re pregnant as he can do everything for you ,because he is your big strong man. Will definitely ask Kaiser to come round to help make things for the baby room as Joe wants to surprise you with it.

Once you have your kid Joe will be essentially wrapped around their tiny finger, as he will buy them whatever their tiny hearts desire. But there still will be the occasion when he will put his foot down, it mainly revolves around his kid’s dating life as he doesn’t want to have their heart broken.

Von Kaiser: It was definitely a shock to him when you told him you were pregnant but he was definitely happy about it. Much like Joe he doesn’t want you to be lifting a finger when sorting out preparations for the baby as he wants to make sure everything is perfect. Has a lot of sleepless nights over thinking he might not be a good dad, vents to Joe about it a lot.

Very much the strict parent to your kid but won’t stop them from having fun with their friends unless it gets dangerous. Just wants the best for your child and if they want to take up boxing he will happily teach them all his moves.

Disco Kid: Once you told he immediately notified all of the minor circuit as well as all of your friends and family, he’s just so excited. Will go all out in the preparations for your kid, might even ask his mom for any advice that helped her out during her pregnancy. Goes to all the parenting classes that are available where you both live.

Definitely the fun dad when you’re kid is growing up and definitely helped his kid choose their musical identity thanks to all the styles he played for them when growing up. Probably the most supportive dad when it comes to all the hobbies and interests his kid has no matter what it is.

King Hippo: A massive feast will be prepared at once as this is a joyous occasion for him and his people. You will be waited on hand and foot as well as told how great it is that the Hippo line will be able to live on.

Once out in the world you’re child will never have to question if they are loved or not. Lots of naps for all three of you using Hippo’s stomach as a pillow.

Piston Hondo: Another crier when you tell them and he may even hold tightly until he can get a better grasp on his emotions. Will pull back on his training for a bit until you’re child is born as he wants to be there for every moment of the pregnancy. Will only really tell his and your families of the upcoming pregnancy and is quite tight lipped about it with the other boxers.

Hondo occasionally involves your kid in his training sessions mainly using them as an extra weight that he has strapped to his back. Definitely reads manga to your kid as bedtime stories mostly stuff like sailor moon, chi’s sweet adventures and nichijou.

Bear Hugger: Will pick you up and dance around with in his arms the moment you finish telling him, he’s just so overjoyed with the news. He doesn’t really want you to lift a finger when it comes to getting things ready for the baby but if you really push him, he’ll let you go do what think needs to be done unless it’s heavy lifting then sorry sweetheart that’s his job. Told Miss Bear and the Squirrel immediately about your pregnancy so should a jerk be messing with you at this time then just know a very angry bear will scare them off in minutes.

Almost never puts your kiddo down but does so whenever he’s training or cutting down trees. Will attempt to teach his kid hockey no matter what as it is the national sport.

Great Tiger: He’s so overjoyed with the news and immediately calls the rest of his family (but mainly his mother) to let them know of the great news. There is need for you sort out any of the preparations as he can just use his clones to sort out everything.

When you’re kid came out into the world Tiger will be wanting to teach them the mystic arts almost immediately but is willing to wait until they reach the age of 9 or 10. He is overall very doting to your child.

Don Flamenco: This man is in shock when you first tell him and he will ask you to repeat yourself a few times before it fully sets in. Not to say that he isn’t happy about it he’s underprepared for it.

As soon as the baby has arrived except him to send so many baby photos to his best girl-friend (and the baby’s god mother )Carmen. He one hundred percent gives his kid all of his tips and moves when it comes to the world of romance as his kid will be quite the heartbreaker.

Aran Ryan: Aran at first thought that you were joking but very quickly realised that you weren’t and much like Bear Hugger he picks you up and swings you around the room. You get a lot of support from his family as soon as he tells them which would be around the end of the first trimester, because he honestly just forgot to tell them and just assumed he had told them when he made a casual comment on it during a call with his mum.

Will literally shove your kid in the boxers faces as soon as he possibly can especially Don’s as Aran reckons that even though his kid is an infant it could probably still kick Don’s ass.

Soda Popinski: It is a joyous day in the Popinski household when you tell him you’re pregnant with his kid, many drinks will be consumed that night as well as many happy tears will be shared. He will hand craft his kids cot/bed much like his own father did when Soda was just little.

Once the kid is in his arms the fact that he is a father now will hit Soda like a truck and cause him to cry, which in turn makes the baby cry in response. Locks away his many crates of special boxing soda from his kid as he doesn’t want to find out what would happen if you found out he let your child have some, maybe when they are older he’ll let them have a try.

Bald Bull: He is joyful at the moment you give him the news of your pregnancy but he worries about the paparazzi finding out as he wants his kid to grow up in some form of relevant peace. Only tells a few trustworthy people about what lies in store for you and him in the not so distant future, as well as attempting to at least work on his anger issues.

As soon as the kid is born Bull takes some time off from boxing a temporary absence as he doesn’t want to miss any of your baby’s firsts. As soon as the kid is old enough Bull teaches them the complete in’s and out’s of life on the ranch, doesn’t matter what gender they are, life is tough and Bull will make his child even tougher.

Super Macho Man: The tabloids knew about your pregnancy almost one hour after you told Macho, in his defence the people had to know that in almost a year’s time not only would he be a type of silver fox but a dilf as well. Only buys the most top quality of items for your baby as well as yourself coz when isn’t this man not spoiling you.

As soon as you’re kid is at the cute baby stage and not the wrinkly potato stage Macho is creating a social media page for your kid because to him it’s never to early to start that social media grind. Definitely had a few issues at the start of your kids life about if he would ever be a good dad or not.

Mr Sandman: When you told him you were expecting he just gently pulled you into his arms and told you how excited he was but also how this would be the first time he is actually scared of something. Cut’s only back slightly on training when it gets closer and closer to your due date as he will not miss your child’s birth for anything.

As soon as your kid starts school Sandman will immediately be joining that school’s PTA and is the most effective when it comes to making good changes for the school as a lot of the mom’s have a major crush on him. Is super supportive of child and what they want to do with their life and will do his best to read up on his kids interests so he and your child have something to really bond over.

[laundrybiscuits]

(purify our misfit ways tag | AO3)

Sometimes Steve feels like he’s tripped into a parallel universe. One day he’d been on top of the world, Tommy and Carol by his side, backing whatever dumb idea he had; the next, he’d been wearing a stupid sailor hat, Robin and Eddie roasting him mercilessly. It’s like, there’s Hawkins, and there’s the Upside Down, and there’s Steve’s life which is now maybe sideways from all of that. Like, a third dimension. 

He thinks if this was a story, it would be kind of shitty. If he lays it all out, the facts of it, he used to have everything when he was sixteen and now he doesn’t. But really, when he thinks about it, the only thing he actually misses is how automatic everything was. It was so easy, being Steve Harrington. 

It just also sucked sometimes. 

He’d been bored and annoyed, pretty much all the time. He’d always felt on edge. Not angry, more…ready for things to go bad. Alert, like a guard dog, except the only thing he’d had to guard was himself. 

Nancy had felt like salvation. She hadn’t fit in with Tommy and Carol at all, and that’s what he’d loved about her. She pushed back, told him when he was being an ass or an idiot, and he’d loved her more than he knew a person could love another person. Even with the fights and all the monster shit, it had felt like his whole heart was just living inside her. Like when she was gone, there was an empty ache in his chest. It had been a good kind of ache, though, because he’d thought that her heart was inside him, too; he liked the idea of it echoing in her, too. And then it’d turned out—no, he’d been the only one walking around bleeding out. He doesn’t like to think about it too much.

He’d spent senior year trailing around after Nancy and Jonathan. He’d known it was pathetic. You don’t just spend all your time with your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend, what kind of loser does that? 

But there hadn’t been anything else he could think of to do, so that’s what had happened. Before, when he’d thought my friends he’d meant a crowd of people who wanted his attention. It had felt pretty good, being able to hand out approval like that. Telling jokes and knowing everyone in the room, everyone who mattered, would listen and laugh. 

And then suddenly he thinks my friends and means Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers eating lunch with him outside even when it gets too cold, talking about shit he doesn’t understand, and knowing he’s lucky to get that much. Hating it, kind of, but grateful anyway.

He guesses that once you face down a monster together, dumb shit like who’s dating who doesn’t really matter anymore. They hadn’t rubbed his face in it or anything, though he thinks Jonathan probably had the right. Still has the right. 

It stings like a skinned knee, but then summer comes and it’s so much worse. They’re suddenly busy with their fancy internships and he’s scrambling to get a job, any job, even a stupid job where he has to wear a stupid costume and sling stupid ice cream. Without Hawkins High holding them together like cling film between them and the rest of the world, the tentative friendship they’d built cracks wide open. Of course it was always going to break the way it did, with Nancy and Jonathan on one side, going places in life, and Steve on the other, not going anywhere. 

He tries so hard to find something, someone, anyone, but it’s like girls can smell the desperation coming off him. He’s never had to work so hard in his life to get absolutely nowhere. He’s Steve Harrington, charming motherfucker, nice enough to take home to your parents and mean enough to drive you crazy. He knows what he’s doing.

Except apparently he doesn’t anymore. Girls don’t react the way he’s used to, even though he uses the exact same lines, and it’s humiliating. It’s the stupid sailor outfit, he just knows it, but when he’s not at work it just feels way too pathetic to go hang out by himself at the mall. He spends his time running the trails behind his house, mostly. He watches TV. He even tries learning to cook, but it’s harder than he thought it’d be, so he gives up before too long. 

For a really long time, he doesn’t even register Robin Buckley as anything except a band geek who hates him. Yeah, he can appreciate that she’s kind of hot in a feral way, but she’s not his type at all. The chains, the mismatched nail polish, the way she makes fun of him and he can tell she means it. She’d told him once, “I’m the weirdest girl in Hawkins,” and she’d sounded like it was a badge of honor, something she was proud of. So: not his type, not even a little bit. 

But even though she’s kind of a dick to him, she helps him when it’s obvious he’s never even tried to read the employee handbook. She walks him through things even though he has to ask a few times because it’s complicated and he forgets. She makes fun of him for his hair and the way he strikes out with girls, but she never once makes fun of him for not getting into college, even though she’s probably going to Harvard or something when she graduates. 

And she’s one of the funniest people he’s ever met, in a savage kind of way. She reminds him of Tommy H. a little bit, though he knows better than to say that out loud. She doesn’t bother to pretend to like the customers, just serves them with a dead-eyed stare and bitches to Steve about the worst ones. Sometimes she does impressions and Steve laughs so hard his stomach hurts. 

So, she’s okay to be around. Doesn’t mean anything. Besides, it turns out that getting to know Robin means getting to know Eddie Munson, too. She mentions his name a lot, just little stuff dropped into conversation like oh yeah and then me and Eddie went down to the quarry or Eddie’s showing me how to play this song on the guitar. Steve thinks it’s pretty reasonable that he assumed Eddie was her boyfriend, right up until he’d actually met the guy and realized that she’d been talking about Eddie “the Freak” Munson the whole time.

Eddie is…different. Steve’s not sure how to feel about him for a really long time. Before, maybe even last year, he’d have written Eddie off as just another loser who couldn’t hack it with the popular kids and was mad about it. But Eddie comes back, and keeps coming back, and Steve can’t help wanting to know more about him even when Robin’s obviously annoyed at Steve’s questions. Just—Robin says they met in concert band, but are there even guitar parts in band? Steve would’ve paid a lot more attention if there were, probably. He can’t picture Eddie strumming some slick black guitar in front of all the tubas and whatever. And Steve’s pretty sure Eddie transferred in from another school because there were a lot of rumors about it in Steve’s freshman year; Robin’s got to know what that was all about, right?

It’s almost a relief when he realizes that even if they’re not actually dating right now, Robin has to have a crush on Eddie. It’s the only thing that makes sense. She gets all spiky and protective of him whenever Steve brings him up, plus she never flirts with Steve even a little bit, so it must be some kind of unrequited love thing. It’s kind of sweet, like a movie. Of course she won’t admit it, but once Steve figures it out, it all just makes sense. 

It must drive Robin crazy to be hanging around Eddie all the time. Eddie’s a larger-than-life guy, always trying to make people laugh, always with some new ideas that make slow afternoon shifts zip by. He’s not mean about it, though—not even mean like Robin is, even when he goes on one of his pissy little tirades about conformity or whatever. Steve can imagine what it must be like for Robin, having Eddie so close but not being allowed to curl into his side or lace their fingers together. It must ache. 

At first Eddie’s protective of Robin too, always staring at Steve suspiciously, but when it becomes clear that Steve’s not going to hit on Robin, Eddie loosens up a little bit. Whenever Eddie smiles directly at Steve, just Steve, it feels like winning something. 

It doesn’t take Eddie all that long to warm up to Steve, all things considered. It’s not too long before Steve starts feeling like yeah, okay, this could be a pretty good summer after all. Both Eddie and Robin are going back to school in the fall, so at least they’ll be in Hawkins, and maybe by then Steve can get them to start hanging out with him outside of Scoops Ahoy. It makes him feel a little pathetic to think about it too hard, so he doesn’t.

And then Dustin Henderson comes back from that nerd camp he’s been at all summer, talking about Russians, and it turns out Robin really doesn’t like Eddie like that at all, and everything Steve knows about how the world works is knocked off-kilter. Again.

It’s different afterwards, too. For the first time since all this shit started, Steve isn’t licking his wounds by himself in an empty house with all the lights on, falling asleep to M.A.S.H. reruns on the couch. He hadn’t even realized that Robin and Eddie had been holding him at arm’s length a little bit until suddenly they weren’t anymore. Suddenly they’re in Steve’s house more evenings than not. He’s a really shitty host because he can’t focus and he can’t offer them food or beer and he gets tired so easily, but for some reason they keep coming around anyway, bringing him groceries and bullying him into taking the pills that make him even worse at staying alert enough to talk to them. 

They’re his best friends, and he thinks—he hopes he’s theirs, too. He thinks even if it’s not completely the same as Tommy and Carol, or Nancy and Jonathan, it could be good. It could be better.

[babyspacebatclone]

Ok, just back from the live action The Little Mermaid.

And may I confidently say?

Best live-action Disney adaptation yet.

True, a low bar to clear, but this honestly felt like a movie and a love story, and not just a cash grab.

Every single changed scene had me smiling. Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) was amazing, and Halle Bailey truly is Ariel, I want her version to become the defacto in the Disney Princesses line because she feels sweet and clever and brave above and beyond the animated version.

(No offense to Jodi Benson, I love her, but the animated version is what it was and the new Ariel is just given more room to breathe.)

I think, comparing, my child self would love the animated spectacle more…

But my adult self loves the tighter, more in depth story of the live action more.

It feels like the best kind of fan fiction, one where someone who loves the characters asks “How were they feeling here? How can I expand this?”

And gives us those glimpses.

Not perfect, but definitely enough for me to fan girl.

Speaking of which… Spoilers below the cut.

Right from the opening scene, you see this movie is taking itself and the responsibility of the story seriously. I love the development of Eric, his camaraderie with the sailors while also being a good mix of level headed (don’t just harpoon mermaids) with reckless insanity (dude, you’re a prince, please don’t laugh while dangling by one arm over open water. ah, well, i love you anyway).

I can feel how much the film pulls back the special effects budget, especially making the introduction of Triton’s daughters basically a business meeting instead of the grand performance, but the filmmakers were smart enough to make the change work. I like the idea of each daughter being “manager” of a specific sea under daddy’s “CEO,” and it was a great excuse to give diversity to each sister.

Plus, I loved their banter/interaction while cleaning the shipwreck, they felt natural and I wish we could have had more time with them.

Speaking of natural!

As a writer I was listening to the exposition, and in my opinion it was exceptionally well done, especially for the amount they crammed into the beginning. Some of it was on-the-nose, but that was restricted to Grimsby, Sebastian, and Ursula, and felt character appropriate in each context.

There was an eye for why the character is saying something - “Am I supposed to tell the Queen her son died, and on his birthday?”; “A shipwreck brought you to us, and now a shipwreck almost took you away, I can’t stand this anymore!”

I didn’t fee like making Eric an adopted orphan of the royal family was necessary, but I loved both Jonah’s and Noma Dumezweni’s performances enough that I accept the filmmakers wanting to justify things and they do tie it in to Eric’s expanded character.

And that is 👌👌👌 he’s so sweet and adorkable and they manage to make his longing to see the world beyond his island mesh with Ariel’s longing for the surface world without it feeling forced.

You see them shyly come together over their shared feelings of isolation and longing for something they’ve only been able to glimpse, not experience.

Turning the ideas that Ursula is King Triton’s sister and Ariel’s mother was killed by humans into not just canon, but pertinent plot points, was excellent.

I wish we could have known more about her mother, but can I say I’m glad it was never revealed Ursula was actually responsible? I suspected that when it was clear Ursula had been banished around the time of the death, but it works so much better than it really was just one human that traumatized King Triton, and him having to overcome his hatred of humanity as a whole despite his lose.

Ursula pulling out the “I’m your Aunt, ‘Daddy’ has hurt me so much by refusing to understand me, too” was genius.

It especially helped with the fact that Ariel was going to refuse to sacrifice her entire life (realism!!) only to give in because of her anger in a moment of spite towards her father (realism!!!), especially with seeing their relationship and knowing that Ariel’s fear of being enclosed under her father’s constant watch was probably accurate.

As a song, “For the First Time” isn’t particularly special.

Including Ariel actively doubting her decision to come to land? Brilliant.

The entire day out and “Kiss the Girl” sequence is perfection, fight me.

Grimsby being an active shipper on deck?? 😍

I personally prefer Eric being the one to steer the ship in the climatic fight, but the detail of Ariel steering it because she’d witnessed him trying to save the ship in the beginning was nice symmetry.

The animal companions were done very well in my opinion: Scuttle was better handled than in the animation to me, Sebastian was perfect and they did a great job humanizing his design with his eyes compared to previous outings, and Flounder was - there. With Max.

Almost feel you could have cut the last two out and lost nothing except babbling to Triton at the beginning, Eric coulda saved the shipboy at the beginning…

(And yes Flounder’s “realistic” design does not improve in context, fortunately he’s on screen less than the animated characters with charisma)

I love the expansion of the prejudices on both sides; I wish it had been better explored at the end, but Queen Selina’s speech to her son about how his feelings for Ariel despite her being a “sea creature” (her initial fearful reaction) was beautiful.

Brain’s trickling down, it was an early showing, but you get the point.

It’s well worth watching the movie, and I’m up for rambling if anyone else is! 😊

[scooptroopfanfic]

Cas with a C CH 1

Note: Before reading, please check the warnings for the story at Chapter Select

Cassie Harrington was a normal girl. A nerd but relatively chill about it. One that would only let her somewhat normal hobbies come out and keep the rest hidden at home. Well until today.

Turns out her parents are jerks. She found out from her brother who instead of being off to college had to stay in the small town he was from, slowly earning up enough money to leave while also taking care of her. Of course, she took a job at Starcourt to help. While Steve slings ice cream in a sailor outfit Cassie organizes the books in the bookstore while helping entitled mothers find their clearly special and not generic romance books.

She rolls her eyes, and she sets up her special table in the back hidden away from the rest of the world. Once it is up, she is going to bully her brother into telling his children that it exists. Turns out the kids bothered her boss enough by asking about DND books individually that he thought it was a trend with the kids so he got a small and humble display of them and instructed Cassie to put it up in the fantasy section in the back with things such as Lord of the Rings.

As Cassie begins her magic on the display, making it as artful as she can based on what little information, she can remember from the kids’ ramblings. She uses book stands to prop up the books proudly and makes sure they look as cool as Dustin told her it was to him. As she investigates the bottom of her box she smiles as she takes out the book. The kids were talking to her about this one specifically. She can’t remember if they already have it or not, so she shrugs to herself and makes sure to put it aside for her locker so that no one tries to grab it.

“I never would have expected a Harrington to play.” She hears a male voice speak from the bookshelves behind her. She sighs as she gets up with the last of the books she needs to put on display, refusing to turn around.

“It isn’t for me Munson. Just some kids my brother babysits.”

“I didn’t know he babysits.”

“There is a lot you don’t know about us Eddie. We aren’t all just our stereotypes.” She says as she reaches down to grab the last stack of books effectively ending the conversation… or so she thought.

“Hmm, maybe but I have yet to see that.”

“Maybe because you haven’t thoughtfully looked at people. Who’s to say.” She says with a shrug as she finishes placing the last couple of books. When she turns around, she can finally see the boy known as Eddie as he comes over to look at the table.

He’s still in his typical outfit from school which she doesn’t know how he manages with the intense summer heat with his three different longer layers on. He ends up moving around the table as he looks at the contents and almost seems impressed.

“Who are these kids who taught you so much about this?” Cassie laughs to herself. More recruits for his Hellfire. Not like she minded it. In fact, while most members of the club could be seen as weird or freaks by the popular crowds, she only really saw them as glorified drama kids after meeting her brother’s kids.

“I can show you later when they come by considering I know what you are here about.” She says with a faint smile. “And since I am closing, I guess I can let you use the break room tonight… if you come with the proper bribes.” As Eddie begins to open his mouth Cassie cuts him off in a low tone. “I am not asking for drugs or alcohol. I unlike my brother am not a degenerate. I just want some candy and maybe to watch?” This is the first time she faltered a bit in her tone.

She has always wanted to watch a game. After she learned about it from Mike and Dustin and saw how excited Will was to read out of his books, she realized the level of lore this universe has, and she just wanted a peek at it. After all, how is that different from one of her favorite fictional stories? The only significant difference is this story will be told by the actions and planning of a bunch of high school boys, which in her opinion sounds fun due to the demented mind behind it.

Eddie studies her for a bit. While he was messing with her a few moments ago he didn’t look at her. While her glasses hid her brown eyes away from the world from his angle Eddie could get a real read on her from them. After a few moments, he relaxes a bit.

“Thank you, Harrington.”

“I have a name.” Eddie’s eyes then have a mischievous glint.

“You do. One which you happen to share with a DND antagonist in fact. If you are going to be watching, would you be willing to read a script for me?” At this Cassie’s eyes shine with excitement as she starts to mess with her curly hair with her fingers. If she wasn’t in front of a kind of stranger, she would have pumped her fist from her luck. She was thankful that the fantasy section of the store was hidden away from the rest of the world as she calls herself a bit.

“First session and I get a role? Sounds like fun.”

“Just please don’t let me regret it.” He seemed hopeful but still on guard as he said it.

“I’m not like that. You may not know it yet, but you will soon, I always wanted to be a theatre kid anyway. Now is there anything else I can help you with?” She says as she points to her name tag with ‘Cassie’ in big looping pink letters showing she works here she hides away the book and heads to help Eddie check out.

Since then, Eddie and Cassie have started developing an odd sort of friendship as the summer went along. Cassie would let Eddie stay in the halls behind the bookshop after hours having set up a table for them and would occasionally voice some characters for Eddie that he may not be able to voice. Eddie would, in turn, teach Cassie about the intense and vast world of DND… and give her rides home post-DND session due to her brother leaving her for her mystery meetups.

At the beginning of their little arrangement, Cassie was just planning on walking home after the sessions. It had been going well the first couple of weeks and she made it home safe. After all, it was Hawkins, and rarely anything happened in Hawkins… except for the Lab, Will, Barb…

She winces at her own dark thoughts as she uses the keys, she has been given to lock herself out of the bookstore and let herself out into the white stark hallways behind it. Other than the table which has been neatly put against the wall along with the chairs there is rarely anything except for the occasional pipe.

While she knows she is alone she feels a familiar cold creep over her. It starts in the base of her skull and the tingles start spreading out to the rest of her body. She starts to move forward. It is hard for her to tell if it is voluntary or not because she can’t differentiate her own thoughts and feelings from whatever is happening to her. She wants to leave. She wants to go home. She wants to stop on the way. It is better if she just goes home, especially with how late it is, but what is one quick stop?

Where should she go? Gas station? She is hungry. Hotel? So, she can call her brother to pick her up and get her out of the inky blackness of the night. Brimborn? Why would she want to go there? It seems like a cool spot to hang out and cause mischief. Maybe get her reputation back after her brother practically made her an unsung princess in the school.

She didn’t even process herself moving. She just ends up on a random road that she is walking down the side of. It is a main road, but due to how late it is she can’t see any cars. All she can do at this point is continue walking. Towards Brimborn. Why is she even going there anyway? That is her destination, but why?

As she ponders this, she cannot stop her body from moving forward towards its goal. It is like she is in automatic mode. Like her body is a robot and unless someone intervenes, she will continue.

In the distance, she sees a light. One which is heading in the opposite direction of her and slowly getting bigger. The noise of a car cuts through the silence and Cassie just continues walking. She can hear metal music blasting out of the car. Something more to focus on other than what is happening. The light gets brighter and brighter and brighter until she can’t see anymore and stops on the side of the road trying to regain her sight.

The car screams to a halt next to her and the hazards are quickly turned on. As she can see again her body tries to start walking forward but runs into a wall of flesh. One that starts to shake her a bit.

“Cassie? Cassie? You’re kinda scaring me right now.” A familiar male voice says. Cassie blinks once. Twice. Three times. By the fourth time, her eyes start to focus again.

“Huh?” Cassie looks around taking in where she is, on the wrong road a few miles down. She rubs the back of her neck which is warm again along with the rest of her body. She looks to the source of the voice to see Eddie illuminated by the van lights.

“Cassie, what are you doing here?”

“Trying to get home.”

“You don’t have a car?”

“No. Only Steve has one and he tends to work earlier shifts so he likes to get home and sleep early, or that’s what he had been telling me.” Eddie sighs in disbelief as he walks her over to the car.

“Get in.”

“What?”

“It is almost midnight, and you are walking next to basically a highway. Jesus, I thought Steve picked you up. I’m not leaving you here.” Eddie says in a slightly sharp tone as he opens the door and gestures for her to go inside. Cassie sighs and after a moment she crawls in.

The first thing she notices after the cold seat is the familiar smoke scent, she can’t put her finger on. The van is in a cluttered state having tapes everywhere on her side of the car. Behind her is some of Eddie’s DND stuff she notices a few music-related things set up that she had forgotten the name of.

“Apologies. Wasn’t expecting a passenger.” Eddie says as he looks around sheepishly.

“No. It looks lived in. Like not in a bad way, just that you care about it, but not for the looks.” Cassie still is fully coming back to reality, so her words seem confused. “Thank you for picking me up.”

“It’s no problem. Have you been doing this every time we play?”

“Yeah. Normally I am more successful at getting home. This time, however…” She pauses looking for the reason behind why she took this path. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Now I am worried about it.” Eddie sighs. “I already feel bad for having you stay late when you could be partying with your friends.” Cassie looks at him confused before connecting the dots and it looks like a lightbulb has gone off.

“Oh! Are you talking about the party that Steve’s friends are throwing? Yeah, I don’t do those.”

“But-“ Cassie gives him a pointed look and he puts his hands up in surrender. “Fair enough.” He then flicks off the hazards. “Let’s get you home.” He then starts driving again and after a few moments, he does a sudden U-turn and starts driving towards her house.

Eddie turns up the music and after a few moments, he looks like he is about to change the channel when Cassie reaches over and turns it up.

“May not be my cup of tea, but you are the driver. Own it.” Cassie then lightly drums her fingers on the dash as she looks out into the darkness around her. Eddie smiles as he adjusts the volume how he likes it.

“How the hell did I not find you sooner?”

“Huh?”

“You seem like a cool girl.”

“I’m hurt, Eddie. ‘Seem’?” She says giving her most convincing fake pout.

“If you stay like this in the school year, I’ll get rid of that seems.”

“Deal. Now let the music play Munson.”

The duo has a mini-concert in the van as they dance and sing as much as they can while being in a car. As they pass by Brimborn they miss the abandoned car nearby marking Billy Hargrove in the area. As they quickly make their way through, they also miss the scream that lets out into the night, making the voice owner’s pain known to those who listen.

Eventually, the duo makes it to her street and Cassie looks around in fear as she tells Eddie to slow down the car and cut the lights.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie looks around skittishly.

“Steve is up,” Cassie says as she points to her brother’s room to reveal the light on in his room.

“What do we do?”

“We don’t do anything. You leave the area without being seen and I’ll sneak in.” Eddie gives her a look of disbelief which she returns in kind with a nod.

“Jesus. Looks like I’ll have to weigh the pros and cons of having you as an assistant Dungeon Master.”

“Wait. You promoted me from willing accomplice to assistant? I’m touched. Eddie really does care.” She clutches her chest and fake swoons. Eddie rolls his eyes slightly as he ruffles her slightly wild hair. “Hey.” Cassie then opens the door and is out into the night.

She slowly stalks her way up the driveway and to the door where she gently rummages in her pockets to find her keys and unlocks the door as quietly as possible. When she shuts the door, she turns around to see Steve peek his head out.

“You’re home early.”

“I found a shortcut.” She then gives him a confused look. “Didn’t you want to go to bed? Shoo.” She says as she waves him away. He looks unimpressed as he goes and shuts the door to his room. She then walks up the stairs takes a right to her room and flicks on the light.

It is a room that clearly has not been updated since her first year of high school. It still has all the pretty pastels that she adored up until a few years ago. The best way to describe this room in her words would be if a princess’s bedroom got thrown up on by a unicorn. Thank goodness for the books because otherwise, she would’ve torn down the walls already. Her bed at least is redeeming in her eyes with a white metal headboard made to look like plant vines and the covers which are a nice lighter shade of purple.

She immediately goes over to her bed flops down onto it and looks to the ceiling. She gently brushes the back of her neck where the cold feeling started. As she does so, she hisses in pain as she feels an intense heat and pulls her fingers back. When she looks at them, they seem normal however causing her to look in confusion.

“What the hell is happening?” She asks herself as she stares up at the ceiling fan turning. As she stares at it, she sees black particles start to fan out from it and start to slowly shower her. She doesn’t move watching it all happen.

“Oh. It’s you.” It doesn’t respond but she can sense the frustration.

“Well, if you actually communicated with me like those other times, I may actually be able to do something to help you.” She has a bit of a bratty tone as she crosses her arms over each other. She feels the frustration grow and she sighs.

“Fine. I’m sorry. Is it something I can do tomorrow?” She can sense the answer. No.

“Sorry. I really am, but what you did kinda freaked my friend out. If you would just clearly communicate what you want and when I can help.” As she says this, she feels the heat turn to a chill as her eyes glaze over.

All that she is shown is Billy Hargrove. She stops herself from gagging at the sight of him after all the bullshit he put her brother through, but she then senses it. Something is off. Billy can’t see her. Of course, he can’t in whatever space she has been taking to, but then she sees his veins turn black and whatever is in his body can look at and see her. It just regards her with a cold and calculating attitude.

“I will come for you when the time is right.” The creature says in a detached voice.

“At least you scored a powerful body.” Theo creature looks unimpressed as it glances down at itself with cold indifference.

“This wasn’t the one I was promised.” At this danger, bells go off in her head.

“Ah well give it time and planning and it will work out there buddy.” She says giving the creature a pat on the shoulder. It seems shocked for a second as she does so but instantly relaxes.

“I am an all-powerful creature. It will be easy to catch my prey.”

“Sure there bud,” Cassie says as she moves around to be in front of the thing. “Just be careful. Whoever the fuck bested you up last time is still out there, right?” At this, it growls.

“Yes…” it hisses out.

“Well as much as I love to be in your company buddy you aren’t the best at talking yet, so I am going to let you learn from Billy and company how to do so. Have fun in the new body, but not too much.” Cassie says and suddenly she is whisked away and back on her bed looking up at the fan, the dust particles gone.

She quickly reaches under her bed. After feeling around blindly she feels the box she is looking for and pulls it out. It has a nice intricate design with an ominous note on the top. When she opens it, she immediately pulls out the journal it and starts writing in it until she feels satisfied with the contents. As she shuts the box, she sighs to herself reading over the note.

Open if I end up dead or missing or both. -CAS

[nanapodcast]

Nana: A Review

"Nana Komatsu is a young woman who's endured an unending string of boyfriend problems. Moving to Tokyo, she's hoping to take control of her life and put all those messy misadventures behind her. She's looking for love and she's hoping to find it in the big city. Nana Osaki, on the other hand, is cool, confident and focused. She swaggers into town and proceeds to kick down the doors to Tokyo's underground punk scene. She's got a dream and won't give up until she becomes Japan's No. 1 rock'n'roll superstar. This is the story of two 20-year-old women who share the same name. Even though they come from completely different backgrounds, they somehow meet and become best friends. The world of Nana is a world exploding with sex, music, fashion, gossip and all-night parties."

This is actually the first review I've done for a manga and I'm kind of excited and nervous. And if you want to know why it is because this is one of my favorite mangas to date, but I'm also nervous because there are a lot of people out there who don't consider manga a form of literature. They use words like "kiddie stuff" or "boring comics" to describe what I consider to be one of the highest art forms that we have. Better even than Marvel and DC, which I don't consider to be very interesting or worthy of review because they have gone through so many changes and re-tellings and parallel universes for me to care. Also superheroes who aren't Sailor Moon bore me (sorry). Now you know my stance and those of you who don't appreciate my sentiment are welcome to leave if you are offended. But to get back to the review. Where to start? Well, without giving too much away, I'd like to say that this series is perfect for any of you out there who really enjoy "slice-of-life" manga. Or just books in general that deal with people and their day to day lives where no magic or supernatural elements come along to gum up the works. It is also perfect for those who love rock bands and enjoy reading autobiographies about popular heavy hitters such as The Sex Pistols, Marylin Manson, and The Red-Hot Chili Peppers. This story follows the lives of two girls with the same name: Nana Komatsu and Nana Osaki, who meet on a train and end up living together in Toyko while they each pursue their dreams of love and career choices. Again without giving too much away, the trails that each of the girls go through are things that many of us can relate to in our day to day lives. And I'm not talking about whether or not that cute boy in biology class likes us, as most shojo-manga and many teen novels seem to do. The story tackles real life issues such as abortion, sex, cheating, abuse, lack of parental guidance, underage prostitution, as well as what it means to be individually independent. It is a gut-wrenchingly sad story that I think every young person should read because, even though the story has not been completed as of yet, there are pieces in it that will call to you and moments that you will have to revisit again and again as you grow older and begin to understand what it means to make adult choices. That's really all I can say about it for now because this is one review where I don't want to spoil any bit of the plot. Be aware though that copies of the Nana manga are not sold in Barnes and Noble anymore and are becoming increasingly hard to find. But if you keep your eyes peeled in second-hand bookstores there is usually a copy floating around somewhere and if that fails the internet is a solid back up. I promise it's worth every penny.

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

What I'm Watching: February 2024

How we doing, folks? Didn't do much between Sailor Moon and Cowboy Bebop, but I made the most of it.

Perfect Blue

JDJWIXBEYSIFNEHXOABSUD I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH! Psychological horror is my favorite kind, and questions of self, sanity, and perception can be so juicy. This movie made me so fucking uncomfortable the first time I watched it that I didn't think I'd be able to sit through it again, and now I love it even more every time. Even outside of the story, it's just an incredible piece of filmmaking. The transitions in the opening scene alone, shifting between Mima's different personas so seamlessly in motion but so jarringly in presentation, could be a short film on their own. But then the rest of the movie is like that. Reality and illusion weave together so tightly that I still can't fully pin down what's what (I think the key is somewhere in the overexposed vs the saturated shots, but I keep forgetting to pay attention to that to make sure). The soundtrack lends itself brilliantly to the uneasiness and anxiety, and even divorced from the context of the movie, I can't bring myself to listen to "Virtual Mima" all the way through. It's too effective. On the other hand, I also can't comfortably listen to "Angel Of Love," thanks to context, but it's a fun pop song if you've never seen the elevator scene. It's impossible to overstate how much heavy lifting the soundtrack is doing. The story itself is simple enough, a young woman having an identity crisis in the spotlight while a stalker targets the people around her, but the way it unfolds is such a mindfuck, it warrants rewatching (and rewatching and rewatching, etc). I've already mentioned the transitions in the opening, and that expands later on into flashbacks, dreams, scenes that seem to be real life but are later revealed as part of the crime drama Mima is filming. It makes it hard to predict what is really going on, right up until the moment before a thing happens and that one tiny clue makes everything else click into place. This is the kind of writing I aspire to. As if that's not enough, the themes of celebrity worship, obsession, exploitation in the entertainment industry, and mental illness, and this movie stays relevant. For all that it takes place during the shift from analog to digital and the early days of the internet, it feels eerily timeless. It's my go-to in conversation about movies: have you seen Perfect Blue?

Labyrinth

If I'd been obsessed with *this* Jim Henson movie instead of The Dark Crystal when I was younger, who knows how it might have changed me as a person. Meh, probably not that much, tbh, since I've always loved stories like this. Which leads me to one of my favorite themes in fiction that I don't really see discussed in regards to this: the stories we tell ourselves. In Sarah's case, her indecisiveness (does she want to be the hero or the villain, and consequently, who does she want Jareth to be?) and unwillingness to lead the story is, ironically, what drives the story. The story she tells herself just happens to her, and she's not responsible for any of it, and it's not fair. A childish mindset, of course, and naturally her arc concerns taking responsibility for herself and learning to balance it with a healthy relationship to fantasy. When put that way, it's even more obvious how important it is that she refuse Jareth and his offer, "Let me rule you, and you can have everything." Stay in this dream world and everything you could ever want or desire is yours forever? A tempting offer for anyone, and Sarah's decision is a.) What finally, truly assigns her the role of the hero, and b.) Pretty wise, considering she's only a teenager. That's all Jareth has to offer, is a dream, and in her own words, "it's all junk." And speaking of Jareth... It's probably for the best I didn't grow up with fear me, love me, etc in my system, because it's done enough of a number on me as it is. What else to say? He's David fricken Bowie, what more do you need to say? This also applies to the music, just so we're clear (and that goes double for "Chilly Down"). And for the rest, it's Jim fricken Henson!

Mrs Brown's Boys

And that's basically the series so far in a nutshell. It kinda reminds me of The Carol Burnett Show, if there were episodic plot lines instead of sketch comedy and they'd been allowed to swear. I think that's mostly to do with the fourth wall and/or character breaks throughout, the former of which happens frequently enough to be a running gag but not so often it becomes a gimmick, and the latter is always fun no matter what you're watching.

Wolf Creek 2

So, if you start playing franchise bingo with slasher movies, you notice the villains themselves fall into two categories: they either don't talk and they're boring/only there to be indestructible killing machines, or they do talk and they're the absolute worst/will kill you for sure but will have so much fun doing it. (This excludes Terrifier, which is an outlier adn should not be counted.) And you can guess which category Mick Taylor falls into. I posted a few thoughts while watching this one, and I think overall, I dig it. The flashier action bits are to be expected, given that sequels tend to take the bigger-is-better approach, but other than that? Consistent as hell from the first one. Tense, graphic, and mean-spirited, with gorgeous cinematography, protagonists you can root for, and a villain who is both just fucking AWFUL and charismatic enough to make you question your judgement. And apparently there's a series???

[skylerscull1]

Gotham - Jerome Valeska Character Analysis / Ramble

Jerome was told that his legacy was death and madness, he was told that "You will be a curse upon Gotham. Children will wake from sleeps screaming at the thought of you. Your legacy will be death and madness." Paul Cicero, his father, had watched Jerome being treated harshly time and time again throughout Jerome's childhood, and had never lifted a hand to help him. Jerome, even before his brother Jeremiah left him, had been dealt the wrong hand in life, one bad day after another until one day he couldn't take it anymore.

In season 3, episode 3 of Gotham, Jerome confronts his father about the wrong-doings that were done to him during childhood. Jerome says to him, "You remember Kansas City, Dad? The circus went through town every spring right around my birthday? There was this guy. Him and my mom used to drink and fornicate and beat the crap out of me. They'd make a whole night out of it. And I remember one time... it was my ninth birthday... him and my mom had just finished round one of boozing, boning, beating up Jerome, and were deciding to take a little break. I was outside the trailer, and you were there. And you said: "Why are you crying, Jerome?" "It's my birthday. And my mom and the snake guy are beating me." And then you said: "This world doesn't care about you or anyone else, Jerome. Better to realize that now." And that was it." 

A nine year old child was told that no one cared about him, he cried out for help, and no one - not even his own father, who he didn't know was his father at the time - bothered to listen to his cries for help. This was a child who was disillusioned about the world at a young age, forced to grow up early. The one kindness his mother ever gave him was lying to him about who his father was, deciding to let him believe that his father was a great sailor when in fact his father was just another one of his abusers. 

At nine years old, Jerome was beaten down by his own mother and when he told Mr. Cicero, he was shut down. Nothing was done to help him, no one had come to his rescue. No one bothered to help. Being told that no one cares about you at such a young age can be damaging to a person.

Now imagine that the one person meant to be closest to you, the only person you have left, leaves too.

At ten years old, Jeremiah was the only thing Jerome had left, and he had left Jerome just like that. In the show, when we first see Jeremiah, he explains to Jim and Harvey why he left, "They hid me away to protect me from him. See, we were always different, Jerome and I. From our early age, I showed a proficiency for maths and design and Jerome mainly the mutilation of allycats. On my tenth birthday he held a cake knife to my throat. A few weeks later he lit my bed on fire. It was like living in a nightmare. My mother knew eventually one day he would succeed. So one day my uncle came to my room while Jerome slept and told me that he was taking me away, I had no idea where. But I kissed my mother goodbye, told her I loved her, and I never saw her again." Only none of that was true. We know that because not long after that revelation, Jeremiah and Jerome have an argument about it, and Jeremiah admits it was a lie.

"You're insane.” Jeremiah says, “And I tried telling mom but she didn't want to listen to me. You blame me for everything that's gone wrong in your life, but the truth is... Jerome, you were born bad." Jerome responds with, "Born bad huh? So that's why you made her think I tried to kill ya, right? What was it again? What was it?! I put a blade to your throat? No, no, no, no - I tried to light you on fire?!"  "We both know you wanted to!" says Jeremiah "Yeah, that was a... funny story. Wasn't it?" "Okay... maybe it didn't happen exactly like that. But I didn't have a choice, and I was right. You killed our mother." Jeremiah justify’s his actions to his brother and Jerome ends the conversation with the following rebuttal: "She did deserve it though. After that whore hid you away, she gave up on me. Poisoned by your stories. You turned everyone I ever loved against me! MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD! Hah, I guess it's just like they say... we can all go insane with just one. bad. day." -Jerome

Already we know that Jerome was accused of something he never did. Jeremiah had turned everyone against him, everyone he ever loved or cared about. Lila, their mother, didn’t want to believe Jeremiah at first, at one point she still loved and had hope for Jerome. It was Jeremiah that made her give up on him. Clearly, it’s obvious that before Miah left, Lila was still harsh with Jerome. Jeremiah admits that he tried telling mom that Jerome was insane before and she never lived, Jeremiah had been telling stories and poisoning everyone against Jerome for a long time, it wasn’t just those three lies, this was a childhood of blame being put against a boy who was proven time and time again that no one cared about him.  

When Jerome was little, his uncle, Zachary Trumble, put his hand into a pot of boiling chicken stock because he tried to steal a snickerdoodle. “You remember that time you caught me trying to snag a snickerdoodle? Oh, that soup you made that day. Mmm, mamma mia! What was the special ingredient again? Ah, right. It was my hand. The one you dipped in a boiling pot of chicken stock! That smell, it was mouthwatering!" Jerome and Jeremiah’s relationship hadn’t always been negative, they used to dare each other to sneak into the chuck wagon to steal one of Zachary’s cookies. At one point, the two twins did get along, and according to Jeremiah, “It’s always the ones you’re closest to that you have to keep an eye on.” He knows that personally, because he and Jerome used to be close. 

No one had ever helped Jerome, he admits so himself when he talks with his uncle in Season 4 Episode 16, "It's been great catching up, Uncle Zach. You really brought back the utter helplessness of childhood." "Uh, you know, with Uncle Zach, the beatings just never stopped. They went on and on. And nobody ever helped me. Ever." Jerome spent his whole childhood feeling helpless, beating after beating with no one there to help him.

Abuse can leave a life-long effect on a person. Even in adult-hood, Jerome is bitter about what he went through during childhood, he’s stuck in the past. He spent 15 years waiting to find his brother, 15 years obsessing over a grudge, left wondering what he must’ve done wrong to deserve what he went through. 

There’s many environmental explanations for behavior. Why do people do the things they do? How do our minds work? How does our childhood affect us? Those are questions that psychologists and other behavioral scientists ask everyday. Some people argue that the influence of nurture is stronger than nature. Common influences on a persons behavior includes parenting style. Depending on the parenting style used, it can affect children and their development in different ways and it can have a significant impact on how a child's personality and behaviors develop.

        - The Authoritarian Parenting Style is frigid, filled with rules, and demands obedience. The children have very little, if any, say in what takes place. This form of parenting can lead a child to be moody and lack self-esteem.          - Authoritative parenting style has rule setting that is flexible, it encourages children to make decisions and learn from them, children raised in this type of environment tend to be self-reliant, friendly, and self-confident.         - Permissive parenting style allows children to do as they wish with few rules set to follow but it might result in a child who has trouble making decisions or being held accountable for their actions. 

From what information we were given, it’s highly likely that Lila’s parenting style would’ve been Authoritarian. Many children who lack self-esteem overcompensate in adulthood - which may lead to narcissism like behaviors or symptoms. According to mayoclinic.org, some causes for narcissism are related to the way the child was raised. Parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements can lead to narcissism. Jeremiah was favored over Jerome, he was a child-genus who was spirited away to a boarding school and graduated early with achievements over his belt. Jerome talks about his brother in Season 4, Episode 18, about how: "No parent will admit it but everyone's got their favorites. Right brother? The one who cleans their room, does their homework, doesn't try to kill everybody. Lil mister perfect over here, he was that guy. He got adopted by rich folks. Went to the top schools, the top college. Meanwhile, I got dragged through the circus by my depressed alcoholic mother. Forced to clean up elephant dung everyday."

Jerome went through cruel and unusual punishments. Jeremiah meanwhile was the favorite, the “perfect” one, the one who got everything handed to him on a silver platter. Jerome confirms that even before his brother left, Jerome was being abused. Some causes of sibling estrangement and sibling abuse are actually due to issues in a parents parenting style, whether that be not displaying ANY discipline or being outright abusive towards their children - or even just displaying favoritism. Parents who abuse their children set a negative example, if the parents repeatedly scapegoat one child and blame them for everything that goes wrong, eventually the other child will also learn that they can conveniently avoid responsibilities when things go wrong.  There's three types of sibling dynamics that are toxic and can lead to “going down the wrong path” so-to-speak. The one I’d like to look at here though is “The Golden Child and the Black Sheep”.

Jerome is the family scapegoat, he blames his brother for everything that has gone wrong in life yes, but he also constantly faced abuse by members of his family, brought down by the ones he was closest to and forced to face expectations that he was told he’d never meet - expectations he would never be able to meet. He was the scapegoat that Jeremiah used to get out of the circus, the scapegoat his mother used to vent her anger out on, the scapegoat his uncle Zach used to satisfy his cruelty. The adults around them taught Jerome that he needed to be stronger in order to survive in a world where it was kill or be killed, a world where the strong stood at the top and the vulnerable suffered for it - they taught Jeremiah that the abuse they put onto Jerome was acceptable. Jerome never had a chance from the very beginning. Because lets face it, his brother was the “perfect” one, the one he’d never be able to reach. Nothing he ever did was enough. He had lived a life of pain and suffering, one bad day after another.

Parents who are quick to anger, who act unreasonably and lash out regularly, teach their children that these are acceptable behaviors. Jerome was punished for reasons not even he likely understood, and watched as violence against him were practically encouraged. The weak were brought down by the strong, the vulnerable were beaten without consequence. He was taught again and again that being vulnerable did nothing but bring him pain. Jeremiah was the golden child, and Jerome suffered for it. As a kid, facing a reality like that can break you beyond repair. 

Jerome was taught this: 

- The world doesn’t care about him or anyone else.

- No one will help or save him.

- He’s on his own.

- Being vulnerable gets you hurt.

It’s not entirely Jeremiah’s fault what happened to Jerome, he too was a victim of their circumstances. They were both raised in a horrible abusive environment, they were both kids who wanted out and weren’t properly taught the difference between right or wrong. Neither of them had properly learned responsibility. Children lie, children get scared, and they do things that they can’t take back. They make mistakes, because they’re children who don’t know any better, children who don’t quite understand consequences or real-world cause and effect. When people are desperate or afraid, sometimes they’ll do anything to get an out. Children can also be cruel. Children learn from their environment, from the people who raised them, so it’s no wonder that Jeremiah did what he did, it’s not surprising for me to know that Jeremiah had lied about Jerome. By the time Jeremiah would’ve realized his mistake it would’ve been too late to take it back, sometimes it’s easier to keep a lie going even when you know it’s wrong then to admit that you lied in the first place. A lot of the time, people will stick to their lies for years after originally telling it because they’re in too deep to go back out, it’s difficult to admit that you lied about something, especially something that can cause such turmoil in a family. It’s difficult to turn back. And sometimes the guilt of a lie can stick with a person for the entirety of their lives. 

To a child, being told that they’re on their own, that no one cares, being forced to face the reality that no one will help him, that can lead a person to snap later in life. As we grow older, that kind of stress can lead to depression, it can lead to us lashing out. It can lead a person to snap, just like how Jerome killed his mother. Too much pressure weighed down on him for so many years, and he snapped just like that. Jerome was a product of a lifetime of abuse, and instead of drowning under the pressure, he came out stronger for it, twisted and warped as a person, but he didn’t give up at life like most people might. Even in a world where life has no meaning to him, where he felt helpless, where he had no reason to keep going - he managed to hang on to life. Jerome refused to give up, he got back up again and again. He lived, even in the midst of madness, even when he knew no one would be coming to save him, he kept going, he got right back up whenever he was knocked down, no matter how many times they tried to break him, he got back up.

Even when dead, Jerome kept a smile on his face. He climbed his way to the top, he lived on even when he saw no value in his own life (he held a gun to his head with no fear, he let himself fall from a ledge with a smile and a laugh) but he did see value in the legacy he’d leave behind. Because Jerome isn’t the victim anymore, finally he made himself matter, he freed himself from what made him so miserable his entire life. And that freedom, the knowledge that his mother could never hurt him again, the thought of making something of himself, proving everyone wrong who ever made him feel helpless and useless, making the world care about him one way or another.... that freedom, free from the shackles of sanity that only ever brought him suffering, that freedom brought him happiness. For the first time in his life, he was the one on top, HE was the strong one. People loved him, people listened to him, all eyes were on him. Jerome would be remembered. It’s no wonder that he turned out the way he did, and he wasn’t half-wrong with his speech about sanity being a prison of the mind, about madness leading to freedom. Because he’s talking about his own experiences. 

Snapping and going insane set him free, he stood up and refused to be beaten back down, he embraced the very thing people accused him of being all along: “Crazy”. He owned the word, and proved everyone right while also proving them wrong. What’s more mad than that?

Just like how the song “I Go Loony” from Batman; The Killing Joker says: "When the world is full of care And every headline screams despair When all is r---, starvation, war and life is vile  Then there's a certain thing I do Which I shall pass along to you That's always guaranteed to make me smile Yes! I go looney - Mister, life is swell in a padded cell It'll chase those blues away"

Madness saved him, cruelty made him.

“All it takes is one bad day to drive the sanest man to lunacy.” It’s more like a symphony of bad days, but he wasn’t wrong. Jeremiah was his bad day.   

[barbex]

Happy Friday! ❝ i don’t care if loving you hurts me. the world already has enough pain to dole out for no reason, at least i’ll have gotten these scars from something beautiful. ❞ - makes me think of Merribela! ✨

Yes! That made me think of merribela too. Thank you for tonight's @dadrunkwriting prompt, here's a little Merrill x Isabela ficlet.

---

Isabela plays with a dagger in one hand, while her other hands hold the mug with ale a little too tightly. This place is awful, worse than the Hanged Man. But tonight she wants to avoid the familiar faces, the easy smiles, the teasing, the jokes. Tonight she wants to wallow in her misery for a while, alone. 

The door opens and lets in the rotten smell of the docks. This is why she likes this dump. The floor is sticky, like the glasses of cheap and watered ale, and the usual patrons are some of the worst Kirkwall has to offer. But it smells of stale harbour water, of damp sails and ropes. The men and women around here are sailors, and their stories bristle with storms and pirates and sea monsters. She needs this, sometimes.

A murmur goes through the room, a tangible change in the atmosphere. Isabela looks up from the terrible ale. Like a flower in a field of ashes, Merrill stands next to her, her smile brighter than the sun.

"Found you, I was looking all over for you." Merrill climbs up on the bar stool, her feet dangling in the air. 

"Kitten." Isabela puts her arm over Merrill's shoulder and twirls her dagger once more, letting her gaze trail over the sailors watching them. As if on cue, everyone turns back to the ale in their hands, only eyeing Merrill and Isabela from the shadows hiding their faces. "Kitten, this is not a good place."

"I know!" Merrill beams at her. "It's worse than the Hanged Man. It smells like several rabbits died in a corner."

Isabela shoves her dagger into her belt. The ale still tastes like rat piss, but she drains her mug anyway. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she pulls Merrill closer. "Why are you here?"

"For you, of course."

Sighing, Isabela takes Merrill's hand and drags her out of the pisshole. The sun already goes down, painting the rotten harbour water with dark orange stripes. Despite the smelly water, Isabela takes a deep breath. If she closes her eyes, she can almost imagine being on a ship again. 

"You'll have a ship soon," Merrill says. "And then we'll drive —"

"Sail."

"And then we'll sail all over the big lakes." Merrill spreads out her arms as if the pitiful sludge in Kirkwall's harbour is all the sea of Thedas.

"Not lakes, the sea," Isabela corrects. She takes a breath. "We?"

Merrill looks up at her, her hand tightening around Isabela's. "You and me, yes." 

"Kitten." Isabela looks at their entwined hands. "You shouldn't... not with me."

"You always say that." 

"Because it's true." Isabela tries to free her hand, but Merrill holds on and she looks right at her, into her soul. 

"You keep telling me not to love you, as if you know why we love." Merrill presses her hand harder. "I don’t care if loving you hurts me. That doesn't make it wrong." 

Isabela's heart stutters. Her voice scratches in her throat. "What if I hurt you?"

"That can happen." Merrill pulls her down, closer to her and Isabela is helpless. Merrill's lips brush against hers. "Sometime people hurt each other. The world already has enough pain to dole out for no reason. At least the scars we'll wear are from something beautiful then."

"Merrill," Isabela says, tasting Merrill's breath in her mouth. "How can you be so sure?" 

"Let me show you," Merrill says and kisses her.

[writernopal]

Writeblr Intro

So I have a pinned post that covers most of what I'm working on here, but I realized that I never introduced myself properly! I am totally new to tumblr (this is my first blog ever!) so come say hi, i'd love to make new writeblr friends ♥️

Hi, I'm N. Opal and I write for fun! I first started writing when I was a teenager but stopped for a long time before rediscovering my love for it in the past two years. I mostly write long-form pieces in multi-pov and dabble into short stories/prose/poetry here and there.

⚓About Me⚓

age: 29

pronouns: she/her

where: southern california

other stuff i like doing: running, weightlifting, yoga, reading, drinking coffee, playing video games, making unfunny jokes

⚓Genres I Like⚓

romance

soft/medium magic

fantasy

pirates (can you tell?)

horror (light pls i am a wimp)

⚓Completed Works⚓

"As A Stranger Or A Friend?"

Upon the blurred line of morality and at the mercy of circumstance, two souls meet. Again. And again. And again. So, is it simply a coincidence or something more?  When a young Mariel leaves home, she is instructed to lead a quiet, ignoble life. Forever. And so, determined to remain overlooked, she toils endlessly, disguised as all things plain. But they say still waters run deep, and even the ordinary are not who they appear to be… So, what would it take for those waters to ripple? Enter the raucous and free Axtapor, a nobleman turned pirate. Dashing through life like a tempest, he is resolved to live on his own terms, allowing none to stand in his way. But a pirate’s curse is a pair of wandering eyes, a boundless appetite for more, and a fascination with the unknown. Waters disturbed, the two upend one another’s lives with misunderstanding hands and misguided compassion. The balances of fate tip dangerously and they quickly find themselves pitted against the same foe: time. The world’s watchful eyes fall upon them as night coats the skies and something unexpectedly new begins to emerge. Hope.  Little do they know just how dangerous something like that can be. Free to read, 18+, find it here. Genres: romance, fantasy, medium magic, pirates

"As A Stranger Or A Friend?: The Swallow And The Drowned Sailor"

Synopsis TBD, Coming to Wattpad soon! Genres: romance, fantasy, medium magic, pirates

"Bowl Of Brown"

A feast for the senses about finding familiarity in a strange place. A piece of prose requested by my sister @illjustpretend centered around capturing the feelings she experienced while playing Outer Wilds. Free to read, all ages, find it here.

⚓WIPs⚓

AASOAF 3 (No title yet!)

This is the third and final book of the AASOAF series. Can't say much about this because spoilers but it will be posted to Wattpad whenever it's finished.

⚓What I Will Write Next⚓

AASOAF Companion Novel (No title yet!)

Characters still in development

⚓Stuff I'd Like to Write Soon⚓

🌆modern AU AASOAF🌆 (started doing this with ockissweek prompts and i need more!)

🤠WESTERN🤠 (please i want to create a cowboy character SO BAD)

💗smut💗(yeah. just yeah.)

👻horror👻(maybe i will be less afraid idk)

[an-act-of-hubris]

THE GOODSIR CHRONICLES

FOR MOD EREBUS: Celebrating the birthday of our beloved Harry DS Goodsir 11-3-1819.

The Goodsir Chronicles: A Universe In Which Jane, Harry and Robert Encounter the Mythological and Supernatural

From Mod Terror:  Story 2 Part 1: “The Selich Girl and the Pearls of the Maighdean Mhara Queen”

My dear sister Jane loved fairy stories, legends and ghost tales.  She had a wonderful sense of the otherworldly which she loved to share with Robert and I from the time we were wee.  Of course, she was told repeatedly by my father to refrain from doing so.  Being raised in a household of science and Christian faith, we all held both ideals very dear.  But Jane had a bit of an obstinate streak to match her sense of the fantastical and she would still secretly tell us these yarns any time we were out of earshot of the others.  Her accounts excited something within the three of us which must have opened our minds and hearts to the possibility that these fabled beings could exist in our current natural world.  That’s the only way I can explain the transcendental experiences we three encountered throughout our lives.

November was always one of my favorite times of year, not just because my birthday fell early in this month and I couldn’t wait to see what wonderful gifts my family would surprise me with but also because November is when the Grey Seal pups were born and could be seen on the rocks around the Firth of Forth where I lived.  Unlike the Harbour Seals who’s pups are born in the summer months and can swim from the time they are born, the fluffy white Grey Seal pups were stuck on land for at least a month.  Normally every year in November, my older brothers would take me out to find the pups and John would teach me how to identify the different seal species and I would practice drawing them and we would have such a lovely time.

It was just after my eleventh birthday.  Both my older brothers were preoccupied with their studies and were frustrated with my impatient pestering to go to the firth with me.  John apologized and passed me a very well worn copy of “Invertebrate Fauna of the Firth of Forth” and told me to go out and search the tide pools and identify and draw anything interesting. So, with a new sketch book and Cumberland graphite pencil my mother had gifted me, I set out with my younger brother Robert and sister Jane to walk the coastal trail between our home town of Anstruther and the neighboring town of Crail. My hope was to find and sketch the seal pups along with the creatures of the tide pools but I would never have imagined that I would find much more than that.

It was a lovely fall day with a mild breeze and lots of golden sunlight twinkling off the gentle waves.  Ahead of me, Jane was merrily telling an enraptured Rob a story about a sailor and a maid of the sea while I sauntered along with my hands in my pockets, keeping a wary eye out for my desired marine mammals.  We saw peregrines hunting along the shore line as well as some harbour porpoises playing in the firth.  In the tide pools, we spied sea anemones, sponges and a bright red sea slug.  A delightful hermit crab skittered about the rocks and ended up in Robert’s pail to be brought home later and added to the menagerie we kept in our rooms.

We were nearing The Coves when we heard a ruckus of high pitched yelps and barks.  There on the rocks was a seal unlike any I had ever seen before which was helplessly caught up in a large fishing net.  Every twist and turn the flippered mammal attempted to make to free itself only ensnared it further.  

“Oh Harry, we have to help the poor creature,” pleaded my sister knowing full well I would never leave another living being to its fate if it could be helped.

“Everyone be calm and move slowly,” I replied. My sister began to hum a lullaby  soothingly as I searched around for a stick with which to keep the seal at bay if it should decide to be aggressive towards us.  “Bob, you stand back and give warning if it looks like the beast will lunge for us,” I instructed. I handed him my drawing implements and John’s book and he stood a keen eyed sentinel.

The seal, fearful of us and tired of its struggle, stopped thrashing for the moment to eye us warily.

“It’s alright,” I said softly, “were not going to hurt you, we want to help.”  I locked eyes with the creature and was surprised at the shockingly ice blue irises.  The seal lay very still almost daring not to breathe but watched me carefully.  With a small knife from my pocket, I started to cut away at the net.  I found that one of the flippers was caught painfully in part of the netting but I made quick work of it and in a short time the seal was free.  

“There now, you’ve been saved,” laughed Jane, “ Harry is your hero!” She gave me a winning smile full of admiration.

The seal looked from Jane to me and continued to lay there as if it was unable to decide what to do.  It was then that I noticed the beautiful silver-white coat with a mottling of black about the ventral side and over the bridge of the nose. I motioned for Robert to bring me my sketch book and hurriedly set about drawing the facial features and spot pattern before it decided to head for the sea.  This was definitely no Halichoerus grypus nor was it a Phocina vitulina.  I almost trembled with excitement at showing John my important new discovery.

After a short time, the seal let out a bark of thanks, then turned and ambled its way back over the rocks to dive into the waves.  It disappeared for a while but then I spied its small head bobbing up and down in the frigid waters as it gave me a last scrutinizing look.  I waved and it took its leave.  And that was that for my valiant moment with the seal, or so I thought.  

We continued on to the Caiplie Caves, or The Coves as we locals called them.  It was a great place to play at pirates and mermaids which we did quite happily for some time.  Robert pretended to be the ruthless pirate captain while Jane was a captured maid of the sea and I was all the characters Bob wanted to command including the luckless sailor who had to walk the plank and the feckless first mate who obediently had to dig a hundred holes with his stick to find the hidden treasure.

I was standing atop the hill behind the caves pretending to be on look-out for the dreaded British Navy and getting ready to switch roles and become the fearless Captain Marryat who would vanquish the privateers and save the mermaid when I spotted a pale figure coming towards us.  It appeared to be a girl around Jane’s age with long silver-white hair.  She seemed to be limping and except for something she held to her chest, she was in a complete state of undress, much to my astonishment.  I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I modestly looked away, then clambered down the hill to alert my siblings.

We decided to send Jane out to meet the unclothed stranger and after a time Jane returned to the cave with the girl wearing Jane’s over-coat and tenaciously clutching what looked like a pelt to her bodice.  Her eyes were the lightest blue I had ever seen.

“Harry, Robert this is Moira,” Jane began, “she is a selich.  In fact it was she you rescued from the net earlier today.” Jane’s eyes sparkled brilliantly as she told us this news. 

My eyes wandered from the pelt to the girl’s left wrist and I saw a rope burn where the net had entrapped her flipper.  Once, Jane had told us a story about a selich which had been tricked out of her fur and made to marry a fisherman but who escaped back to the sea when she found her coat.  My hand went instinctively to my pocket to rub the lammer bead I kept there which had been given me by the Ghillie Dhu in the forest some years ago as protection against the fae.

“Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you,” said Moira in a small, quiet voice. “You rescued me once today and I can see through your eyes to your soul that you are good.  I’m in terrible danger and I need your help.” Moira gave me that same icy gaze from earlier and I shivered.

“What kind of trouble,” I whispered, “how can we help?”

“I’ve stolen a magical talisman from the Queen of the Maighdean Mhara to save my people and she will stop at nothing to get it back.” Moira drew one of her closed fists out from her pelt and when she opened her pale hand we could see a delicate string of glowing pink-white pearls.

I looked at my siblings...Robert had a look of wide-eyed surprise but Jane had a look of pure bliss...in one afternoon she had learned that both selkies and mermaids were real!

To be continued..............

[astarionancuninslittlelove]

My take on the “BG3 Tav Backstory Bash” by @kelandrin

Please find their original post here.

Elowyn is my first Tav and the inspiration behind the stories in my master list here aka my “Indomitable” series on AO3.

Read on below! 💖

(Introduction/Baby)

My name is Elowyn Prescott. My friends, when I’ve had them, call me Lo. I worked with a group of strangers to help save Baldur’s Gate from something called the Netherbrain, but long before that I was born to two Elven people, a woman named Trystia and a man named Lhen. I like to think that they were in love once, but I am not sure. My mother met my father when his ship crew docked in Baldur’s Gate. She was a barmaid at the Blushing Mermaid, and he stumbled in from a long voyage at sea looking to quench his bottomless thirst, for he was a sailor. She thought that he was funny and goofy when he was drunk. That was before she knew of his gambling addiction and tendency to get mean when he was wasted, but let us not get ahead of ourselves.

His crew was to stay in Baldur’s Gate for two months before their next voyage, so during this time, he got to know my mother. He would find her at work and drink, and when she got off her shift, they would drink together. Under the haze of bubbles, he thought she was the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen with her pale blonde hair and her warm brown eyes. She thought he was charming and hilarious. They would stumble home together to my mother’s one bedroom, one bathroom flat in the Heapside Strand. It was the rougher part of town, but it was home. During one of these hazy nights, I was conceived. My mother found out two weeks before he was due to leave. He wasn’t disappointed by the news nor thrilled. 

He did what he thought he ought to do. He gave up the high seas, took up as a butcher’s apprentice, and asked her to marry him. She said yes and months later, there I was. Truthfully not much is known about my infant life. My parents were either too drunk, too tired, or too busy fighting or making a living to really remember. All of this could be a tall tale, but this is what my mother recalls: My first steps were when I was 1 year and 1 month old on the upper deck of the Blushing Mermaid as I accompanied my mother during a shift. My mother would often take me to work with her as my father could not as easily do so at the butcher shop. She, in her own words, was my entire world. Whenever she left my side, I would lose my mind either by crying or throwing a tantrum…sometimes both. The first time I got sick, my mother couldn’t go to work for a whole week because I would wail every time she left the room. All I wanted was to be around her. I would often sleep in her bed with her. My father would sleep on the couch. My mother told me something else she thought to be funny too: I would sleep my very best when a huge thunderstorm was rolling through. She found it odd how it would not wake or startle me…instead it lulled me peacefully to sleep. 

My mother’s alleged “watchful eye” for me surely ended as soon as I could speak for myself. I cannot attest to how watchful it was in the earlier years, but after I could “communicate” all bets surely were off. I soon began to notice how my father wasn’t getting up to go to work anymore around age 5. He was due up for work at first light, but he often wouldn’t be up by the time I left to go to school, and with my mother going to work around 10AM. As soon as I was old enough for public school at the age of 5, my mother put me in there. Come to find out it was like free childcare for her. She didn’t have to take me to the bar, and maybe I could learn something.

My father did not take much interest in me. He kept his distance. I remember overhearing him telling my mother how, “Something is off about her. I can just tell by her eyes.” I never found out what he meant by that. I always just assumed that it was due to one of my eyes being red. Maybe he thought that made me evil or something. I have heterochromia. One of my eyes is red and the other is dark brown. But who knows. 

Mother was always working, and father quit working and convinced himself he could make us rich by him being a full time gambler. Cards, dice, bets–he loved it all. He would take most of the money my mom made with promises of tripling it. She fell for it every time. Maybe she was just tired of fighting with him. The more he was out of the house, the less they were arguing. He began to come home less and less. When he did manage to stumble in, he would try to woo my mother for more money. When that didn’t work, they’d argue. She would grow tired and give it to him. Then he would be out the door again. So it goes. 

(Childhood)

At first my childhood was very lonely. Mother was working, trying to keep us in the same one bedroom, one bathroom house in the Strand, and father was gambling, drinking, or both. I later learned that his newest haunt was the Guildhall, where the underworld criminals would gladly take my drunken, idiot father’s money in these gambling “games”. Really, they would rig the game, and he would be too drunk to notice. “Again!” He’d yell to them when he inevitably lost every time. 

School was difficult. I hated it. I would get picked on for my ill-fitting clothes, my unbrushed hair, and the fact that I would come to school barefoot. My mother would tell me she wasn’t going to buy me shoes in the spring and summer because I would “just grow out of them anyway”. I think it was really because she just did not have the money to put towards them. 

One day at recess, I got so fed up with being bullied for being poor. I was going to beat them all up, I thought. And then a girl, who was far taller and bigger than every boy in my grade, stuck up for me. She took two boy’s heads and clanged them together. She knocked them both unconscious. The other kids looked on horrified. 

“Does anyone else have something funny to say about Elowyn?” She screamed. They were all silent.

“I didn’t think so,” She yelled again.

Her name was Zeva, and she was my first and only childhood friend. She took one look at my unshoed feet, took me by the hand, and marched me out of school. I didn’t return to school ever again. Zeva was also a poor, Strand kid. She had a dead dad and a grieving, widow mother. She taught me how to lie and steal–anything for some money. 

At first we were able to use the ruse of being a poor child with nothing to eat. We used this in places closer to the Upper City where people had enough money to pity people. As I got older and bigger, that ruse stopped working. Zeva and I had graduated to petty theft and more elaborate schemes. By the age of 13, I had learned to pickpocket and pick locks to homes with ease.

Zeva and I ran about town having the time of our lives being little outlaws. Sometimes when the fighting at home got really bad, Zeva would sleep under the stars with me at the Grey Harbor Docks. The worst day of my life up to that point would be when Zeva’s mom sent her away to live with her aunt in Amn. I never saw her again. Suddenly, I was alone again. With no siblings, an alcoholic father, and an emotionally unavailable mother, I was truly alone. 

(Teenager)

After Zeva left, I felt very lost. I had managed to gather around $1800 in gold with her throughout our 7 years together. Some of it I spent along the way trying to keep up with life’s essentials like food and clothes, but I always made sure to put some away for the future. Things also turned strange after Zeva left because one day I got so mad at my father for asking me, his 14 year old daughter, for money. In my anger, acid shot from my fingers and hit him. We both looked at each other confusedly, not knowing how to explain what happened. He told me to leave and never come back. I was home the next day. He was too drunk to remember.

I wondered about the acid coming from my fingers. I went to seek answers. I wandered into places like Sorcerous Sundries and Stormshore Tabernacle. At Stormshore, I walked over to Mystra to learn that she was the goddess of magic. The priest there saw how interested in her that I was and came over and talked to me. I asked about my incident, and he told me that it sounded like I was a sorceress, and that I had natural magical abilities that could often be unpredictable to my emotions. He recommended talking to a man named Judd who worked the counters at Sorcerous Sundries. He was apparently very learned in the magical arts.

I met Judd and asked for his help. He talked a mile a minute that I needed him to slow down. He said that it sounded like I was a sorceress like the priest had said. He figured perhaps I was one with a Black Draconic bloodline. He needed to work with me more before knowing for sure. 

My first love became magic. My first official spell I could cast was Firebolt. Judd helped me learn about intuition, intention, and inner power. I was so excited about what I was learning that I went to show my mother at the Blushing Mermaid. Her boss told me that she only worked there sometimes now. I asked him what he meant. He told me that if I wanted to find her that she would be at Sharess’ Caress. I told him that he was lying, and he told me to go see for myself. So I did. Sure enough, my mother had become a woman of the night. She did what she had to do for survival, I guess. 

The only constant in my life was my lessons with Judd. He taught me about different spells, Faerunian history, Gods and Goddesses in the pantheon, and their Chosen. I never went back to school after that day with Zeva, so I learned all I could through reading. I mostly just read about what interested me which was namely the above mentioned. Also in my 14th year, mother told father to never come back, and she changed the locks. At 15, mother met another man in a ‘whirlwind romance’. She moved away to be with him. She left me with a goodbye note stating she was in love with no return address and a one bedroom, one bathroom flat’s rent. 

I was almost alone again. But I had Judd. I managed to use what I had saved to pay for things. Then I tired of my father knocking on the door thinking my mother was still around. He must have convinced himself that he still lived here, and they were still together in his semi permanent drunken state. I left the Strand at 16. I was tired of its smells, its rowdy crowd, and its incessant memories.

Judd let me stay with him in the Lower City. He quickly became the closest thing that I had to a father figure or family. It was then that I realized that sometimes people’s true families are the ones that they choose, not ones of blood that are thrust upon them. My adolescence was different from most. I did not have the luxury of being reckless; my parents didn’t care enough and since I was taking care of myself so early, being reckless would have only hurt me. I had too much responsibility–responsibility to myself–to be reckless. I had to look out for myself. I wasn’t given a choice.

(Adulthood)

Being of elven descent, an adult elf is not considered an adult until 100 years old. We reach maturity physically early on in our lives at the same rate as humans, and then we do not age physically from there for a few hundred years. Judd was 103 years old when I met him; he was a half-elf. He died when he was 192 years old. He held on longer than half-elves normally live. At the time of his death, I was 106 years old. We got to spend 89 years together.

During that time, all he asked of me was that I was to make an honest living. I was to give up the lying, stealing, and scheming I did for survival. I did eventually, but that way of thinking never quite did leave my head. Judd was able to get me a job at Sorcerers Sundries as an apprentice at the book counter. Judd and I would voraciously read to make the days go by when business was slow. 

I took various lovers throughout these years. I found none of them to be very notable. They were people that I met at work or around the city. Most of them were met at bars–just not the Blushing Mermaid, I made sure to steer clear of that foul place. My first time was especially not notable. It was with a man whose name is lost to me as I am sure mine is lost to him. We were both roaring drunk. I would go to the bars when I felt blasé about life and go home with someone. I was beginning to think that I didn’t have the capacity for love. Maybe I was just meant to either be celibate or take random lovers, I thought. Maybe I just couldn’t rationalize the concept of someone loving me, so I never gave them the chance.

Over time, Judd had helped me get in control over my unpredictable emotions, namely my unbridled rage, which was essential to being a sorceress. He encouraged me to trust in myself and in my intuition, and that as long as I was grounded, I would have control. And not before long, I was getting control of it. We read about Draconic bloodlines and concluded that it is how I was able to do what I do. I still don’t know the specifics of it all. All I know is that my parents did not have my gifts. I am not sure of my other kin as they are estranged to me. Maybe one day I will know. Judd instilled an inner peace in me. He was like my guiding light. Those years spent with him will always be special to me.

When he died, I was mortified. I stopped showing up to work. I began secluding myself at home. The whole place just reminded me of him…work and home. I only spent 2 months mourning because around that time was when I got abducted onto the nautiloid. And then the quest to save Baldur’s Gate began.