#and say shit that so so strange coming from a high pitched squeaky toddler voice

[that-one-weird-cloud0]

De-aged Danny wandering the street of Gotham as a five year old:

Batfam: hello child are you alright?

Danny: Yup! :D

Batfam: where are your parents buddy?

Danny: don’t need em. Tried to kill me

Batfam: *concerned* how about you come with us for a little while?

Danny: no thank you mister Batman, I don’t trust adults

Batfam: oh no

[tainted-wine]

Just gonna leave this here: a quirk that turns Hawks into an actual hawk version of himself that can talk, and his poor s/o must be his falconer until the quirk wears off. Alternatively, Dabi getting chibi’d. MANY LOLS TO BE HAD. And also burnt pants pockets, if I’m not mistaken.

If Hawks was a bird, I’d imagine his appearance would resemble a Brahminy Kite aka red-backed sea eagle. Yeah, I know they’re not exactly hawks but it’s such a perfect look for him. Though I’d imagine his front plumage to look more blonde than white.

The news reporters were already swarming him. At least give him a chance to breathe; this was probably more shocking to himself than it was to them. It’s also just a little intimidating to have so many people several times his height squatting down and shoving mics into his little beak.

“Did you see the villain that did this to you, Hawks?”

“How long will this quirk last?”

“Will you be able to carry on with hero work in this condition?”

“What do you have to say to your fangirls right now?”

“Would you be willing to have a photoshoot with us and promote our bird shop?”

He raises his wings (man, it’s weird when they’re your only upper limbs) and attempts to calm everyone down.

“Relax, everyone. I’ll have this all fixed up soon, I promise! And don’t think I’ll be taking a break from hero work just because I’m small enough to perch on your arm. You villains out there better stay put!”

The flashing cameras hurt. His eyes felt more sensitive than ever.

Of course, that was a bit of a lie. Hell no, he isn’t fighting any competent villain while he’s a literal bird, but he already knows that the Hero Commission isn’t going to let him sit back even while he looks like this.

-----------------

What the fuck were you watching.

A group of reporters were crowding a bird that had just hopped out of your lover’s hero outfit which was piled on the floor. And they were calling the bird Hawks.

And then the bird spoke. With Hawks’s voice.

No way.

A bit less than an hour after those surreal interviews, a rapping sound was heard at your window. Lo and behold, the same bird you’ve been looking at all over the Tweeter feed was waving at you as he waited patiently to be let in.

You didn’t know where to even start as he waddled in, unsteady on legs that bended in ways he wasn’t used to, and large talons that scratched every surface.

“Did ya miss me, baby bird?” Wow, he really just used his seductive voice. 

Your discussion with him about what he plans to do while in his current form is as awkward as you expected, with one extra curve-ball thrown in.

Your face looms over his smaller head. “What do you mean you need me on your patrols? Patrols that you shouldn’t even be doing right now?”

He shakes and puffs up his feathers. “You’ll be my partner in crime! Well, more like you’ll be the one carrying my goods around and answering calls while I take down bad guys. And I have to make sure I always have a good takeoff spot, since I’m not as quick and limber of a flyer as I usually am. It’ll be safe, I promise.”

-----------------

It wasn’t very safe.

Sneaking up on a villain in a sketchy ally was not safe at all. Hawks was unknowingly digging his talons into your skin as he kept his body low, his wings only half-folded in case he needed to fly at any moment.

With a signaling squeeze (ouch), you swung your arm as he leapt off and flew toward the unassuming criminal.

It was...ridiculous, watching what was an intimidating man make high-pitched yelps of surprise and swat at the hawk flapping around his head. All respect as a villain is probably lost if you’re subdued by a bird that isn’t even half your size.

“Now!” Hawks shouted while he had the man’s arms pinned behind his back.

You rushed in to click the handcuffs around his wrists. 

“That’s your third arrest, baby bird! You oughta try for a hero license!” He praised you with a wink.

“Thanks, but I’d rather have this entire fever dream end as soon as possible.”

His phone vibrated in your pocket and you withdrew it to see which sidekick or Commission member was calling him this time. Instead, a strange name popped up.

“Who is...‘Burnt Bitch’?”

Hawks swooped in and snatched the phone out of your hands before you could even blink.

“Aheheheh, sorry love! This is a personal call that I gotta take myself!” He flew out of your sight, leaving you to handle the humiliated and angry villain by yourself.

-----------------

Hawks swore when he scratched his screen as he attempted to answer the call. Dammit, Dabi sure was a master of contacting him at inconvenient times. 

Having finally pressed the button, he gave his usual greeting to the fiery villain. “What’s up, Dabs?”

“So you’re a literal birdbrain right now, are you? Pretty hilarious.”

That...was not Dabi’s voice.

“Um, why do you sound like a chipmunk?”

“...I’m just using a voice changer,” the squeaky villain said. “I shouldn’t make myself too obvious when talking to you.”

Hawks scratched his head, flinching when he nearly poked his eye. “You’re just now deciding to do that, and you couldn’t pick a voice that I’d actually take seriously?”

“Like you’re one to talk. I’m impressed you managed to answer the phone without any hands. You’re meeting up with me at the usual spot tonight.”

“...Tonight?”

Dabi groaned, which sounded more like those low meows that angry cats do. “Did I stutter? Those holes in your bird head work, right? And you better not laugh when you get here.”

Click.

Hawks’s inner eyelids blinked rapidly at the phone. What would he laugh about?

-----------------

Oh.

That’s what.

Hawks rested on a trash can as he watched Dabi emerge from the shadows behind the abandoned building. He was pretty far away, his form slowly getting bigger as he got closer. Although...Hawks is pretty sure that he should look a lot bigger from that distance. Maybe the angle of his giant eyes was screwing up his depth perception.

It was only when Dabi was right in front of him did Hawks realize that the villain was the size of a toddler.

He tried not to let any laughter slip past his beak, and failed miserably.

“What did I fucking tell you?” Dabi growled in his helium voice. Oh god he wasn’t using a voice changer on the phone.

That made the bird hero laugh even harder, wings outstretched as he tried to keep his balance. “Wh-wha...” He struggled to speak between wheezes. “What the hell happened?”

Dabi shuffled in his kiddie hoodie. “Some dumbass thug thought it would be funny to chibify me. I thought it would be funny to turn him into ash, so I did.”

“Really? Do you know if it wears off overtime or did you just kill the poor guy without asking questions?”

“......”

“Holy shit!” Another fit of squawking laughter. “You might be adorable forever!”

A blue flame appeared in his tiny baby hands oh my god he’s so cute!

“Unlike you, I can still use my quirk, so keep talking if you want to become the fried chicken you love so much.”

"You-” Cough. “You don’t even need your fire.” Hawks's feathers were fully fluffed out as he tried to breathe. “If you keep talking with that high voice, I’m gonna keel over!”

A tiny scarred hand around his neck finally silenced him with a startled screech.

“You tweety little bastard.”

Hawks cracked up again as he choked.

-----------------

Shouta Aizawa has come across many strange sights during his late night patrols. Some of them gruesome, some of them obscene, and some that are just too weird to even be questioned.

Finding a child concealed in an oversized hoodie in a bout of fisticuffs with a bird of prey was in the third category.

He couldn’t even tell who was winning. The kid would sometimes get a hold of the bird for no more than a few seconds before a sharp beak digs into his hand and forces him to let go. It was the strangest wrestle that the underground hero had ever witnessed.

“Aww, try again, little baby! You almost had me that time!”

Wait a minute. That voice...

Right, Hawks was still doing work even though he was a damn actual hawk. Well, he probably doesn’t need his help with an unruly brat. 

Aizawa walked away from the scuffle and continued his scouting. There are real dangers out here that need to be taken care of.