#and she thinks oldest siblings are bound to be failures

[manga-and-stuff]

So I am reading Howl's moving Castle right now and I gotta say... the movie isn't really based on it, more loosely inspired by it.

The movie doesn't even mention that Howl's real name is "Howell Jenkins"... oh, and he's Welsh...

[k-aemi]

Your writing is SO FIRE please keep up the amazing work I love it!

I was thinking about younger brother! Ness and his sickly sweet infatuation with his older sister he just can’t get enough of her!! He gets so worked up that he sneaks into her room and uses her while she’s asleep!!

ness alexis ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i dont care, this is love.

smut, somno, accidental creampie, in/stepcest, view it however you like.

he knows its wrong. its sick of him to even think of you like that. a love so different but its not his fault! its yours! youre always so sweet to him when his other siblings werent.

as a family full of scientists, its always based on logic and reasoning. ness wasnt like that, hes just a kid full of imagination and impossibilities. his siblings treated him like a joke, even his parents. but not you, you always told him to believe what he wanted to, he feels so loved by you.

as the oldest sister you always want to make your siblings are happy, even if it meant falling into their little delusions, which in this case, only ness. and thats probably the mistake you made, you should of just snapped him out of it. but even if you tried, it wouldnt have worked.

"magic isnt real dummy." his sister exclaimed. "get that through your thick skull!" looking at ness with disgust as he could just only stand there, holding the arms of his toy. he was a boy full of wonder and all his siblings can do was just insult him for believing in such a stupid thing.

you sighed, hearing the conversation of your siblings squabbles. you just wanted them to get along even if they were a bit different, he still is the youngest brother. you place down your test tube in the holder, putting your hands inside your coat before walking towards ness, who has his head down, tightly gripping the toy.

bending down to his level, you cup his cheeks and face him to you. his face full of dirt and bruises from always playing outside, testing out some sort of magic he always believed in. "dont listen to them alexis. just believe what you want okay? you wanna believe in the impossible, then you do it!" you smiled at him while ruffling his hair.

he lets out little grunts as you do, grabbing a little cloth to brush the dirt off his face. "clean up yourself too alex." you chuckled before going back to your station. you were the only one who let him live the childhood you werent able to live, you were forced to put on the weight as scientists, its a gift really, but could be tiring when you were constantly running tests.

"give me your strength! i summon!" ness chants outside with a snowman. a summoning circle surrounding it with ness chanting a spell of some sort. you could hear him from the inside of the house and you worried your family would of gotten annoyed.

the brother coming out to see what was with the commotion. only to see his disappointment of a brother doing his stupid magic. "shut up stupid alexis! we cant focus on our experiments!" taking the wand(stick) out of his hand, snapping it into two. the sister scoffs in annoyance before kicking the snowman down. "stupid good for nothing! how many times have we told you to stop talking about magic!" stomping on the destroyed snowman.

it didnt help when his parents walked by, seeing ness practicing his foolish magic. they can only ignore him, seeing him only as a failure of the familys talent. the father speaks in a cold tone, not taking a second to gaze at the boy. "people who believe in the impossible, are not accepted in this house." was the last words ness heard before his vision becomes blurry. tears drip down to his cheeks as he wails, the snow falling onto him.

coming out to see the crying figure of ness, you can only sigh, you knew it was foolish of ness to believe in, but hes your little brother, theyre bound to believe in stuff like that. at least your family should consider that part.

hes fallen to his knees as his cries echoes through the air. you walk up to him, patting his back in comfort. he jolts from the sudden touch but he can only cry more, jump into your arms, his tears wetting your coat. "s'alright alexis. theyre just saying nonsense." kissing the top of his head as he sniffles away. hes a crying mess right now but your comfort brought him a safe space.

"l-love you s'much sis...youre the only one whos nice to me." hed sniffle in between those words. your heart aches, it really was hard for you to see your family so harsh on ness when hes just a little boy. rubbinng his back as you wipe his tears with your thumbs. "i love you too alexis. dont worry, your sister is here."

as he got older, he was able to make income more than his family. you were already 25 and youre here still living with your parents...its embarrassing really, ness already had his own place and youre here struggling to even make a cent. but ness would let you live with him! just so you wouldnt feel as embarrassed and because he prefers your company.

of course you would move in with him, hes your sweet little brother you took care of and it wouldnt hurt to live with him in his new rich looking apartment....two bedrooms and one bathroom which was perfect!

ness really loves you, but not in the sense of siblings. he really thinks if someone were to believe in him through the impossible it would have to be his soulmate, no matter what, love will always find its way around. and its you! youre the one who believed in his silly delusions. or thats what he saw it as.

"thank you alexis, really you didnt have to let me in!" you hug him putting your suitcase to the side. he can only hug you so tight, inhaling the scent of your perfume. "mhm. its the least i can do for you." ness wants to touch you so bad, he learns thats what lovers do, but he knows you dont love him back like how he does. how? well your boyfriend. his stupid name that goes...agh forget it hes too mad to remember.

youre always busy and ness is too, so he doesnt cross paths with you often which makes him sad. since hes super busy on football he always gets back home late when youre asleep. you get up 4am sharp so its not unusual for you to be sleeping so soon. it gets tiring to be playing, so frustrating when kaiser gets mad at him.

it frustrates him how kaiser abandoned him and he cant help but just cling onto him. maybe seeing you will help him calm him down. maybe smelling your sweet scent will calm him down. maybe touching you will calm him down. no he must not! he wont touch his sister while sleeping. its so wrong but so exciting.

entering in your room, hes met with your sleeping figure. he knew you were never the type to wear pants when you slept, so underwear was a must for you, it was just more comfortable that way. it was fortunate enough for ness because he loved the way your panties hugged your ass, revealing that plumpness of your flesh.

he creeps onto the bed, hearing your soft breathing as you shuffled around. he cant help but feel this excitement inside of him. youre sleeping, so he can explore each and every inch of your body like how he always dreamed of doing. he swallows his built up saliva, trailing his eyes down to your panties. his hand hesitates, reconsidering should he do this..? but he was stressed, maybe youd let him. yeah you wont mind huh?

he grabs the flesh of your ass and its so soft, it feels like dough in his hand. he smirks to himself before spreading your legs apart. your pussy is right in front of him and he could do anything right now. he leans down to your covered pussy and inhales the scent that fills his nose. holy shit he could smell this forever. his nose touching your panties, his eyes roll to the back of his head from the intoxicating smell.

"sis...youre fine with this right..?" he asks, but hes already taking your panties off slowly, ensuring you wouldnt wake up. your body shuddered from the sudden cold air that hits your clit. he loves the way your pussy glistened under the light, it was so beautiful, maybe this moment was supposed to happen.

"s-shit...you...you wouldnt leave me for him right...? i know you love me more." he palms his shaft in his pants, shifting it in positioned, but he doesnt think he can contain it anymore. messily unbuckling and unzipping his pants in a eager attitude, he brings his cock to life.

"im gonna rub it first okay..?" he rests his hand on both sides of your head, positioning his cock inn between the slit. he slides his length in between the folds and holy youre so warm....its like he can indulge in this forever. you let out little groans in your sleep, shifting in your sleep a bit. "you feel it too dont you..?" he has a twisted smile to his face.

he fasten his pace a bit as he hears the little moans that elicit from your mouth, it was like you were encouraging him to keep going. and of course he would. maybe you were even asking him to put it in in your sleep.

"you want me to put it in...? yeah?" he sits back up, seeing the way his cock was coated in your slick and it made him bite his lip till blood drew out. he grabs hold of his cock before positioning it to where your hole is. he actually has no idea where it is.

"ah..here..?" he tilts his head before trying to push in, but his cock slips right back up. he groans in frustration, hes never done this before, cut him some slack!

"fuck where is it..?!" he would whisper with a frustrated tone until he suddenly slipped it inside you and his body jolts from the sudden wave of pleasure that hits him. this time a bit louder moan fell from your tongue and ness grips onto the bed sheet. the way you squeeze him makes it hard for him to move.

"sis...fuck you feel so good." he involuntarily starts his thrusting, a soft phwap can be heard as your wet pussy echoed around the room. he cant slow down or stop now, hes claimed you. your stupid boyfriend probably fucked you before but hell shape your cunt into his cock. so that it only remembers him.

he lets out ragged breath as he laid his elbows on the sides of your head. sweat emitting from his forehead as he continues his erratic thrusting. the bed creaks and hes scared youll wake up. but youll forgive him wont you? he loved the way your pussy hair would tickle him when he made contact with you. it was everything he wanted.

"sis...fuck i cant stop. you feel too good." his thrusts becomes sloppy and his face is fucked out. drool falls onto the sheet creating a wet patch underneath. hes never felt something like this before, maybe this was the magic he so yearned to see. even after so long, its worth it, the magic he believed in when he was a kid.

he feels his cock twitch in your gummy walls and he feels like hes close, but he cant stop, you feel too good he wants to be inside of you forever. youll keep him safe and warm. "i love you sis..." he exhaled out before he let outs a whimper, halting his movements. he came inside of you, he couldnt pull out. hes not even sure if youre on any pills but youre a scientist youll figure something out. plus he meant to pull out, its not his fault! but...if this is how he can claim you then so be it.

he starts to panic when you groan, opening your eyes to try and make out the blurry person above you. you feel hot and sticky. "h-huh..?" but ness shushed you. "shh, its nothing...just go back to sleep sis...youre tired."

sorry i didnt post yesterday so i will try to post as much!!! :D hope u enjoy this one hehe

[danny-chase]

Delirium - read on AO3

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman (Comics), Titans (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne & Dick Grayson, Roy Harper & Lian Harper, Lian Harper & Dick Grayson, Lian Harper & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Roy Harper, Tim Drake & Roy Harper Characters: Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Roy Harper, Lian Harper Additional Tags: Hopsitals, delirious, Anxiety, Panic, POV Tim Drake, Canon Divergence, Good Sibling Tim Drake, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Tim Drake is Bad at Feelings, Hurt Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is Batman, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Damian Wayne is Robin, Lian never died, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Dick Grayson gets a forehead kiss, Batfamily (DCU) Feels, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Caring Batfamily (DCU), fluff at the end, Teen Titans as Family, Tim Drake emotional whump, Damian Wayne emotional whump, Lian Harper is a ray of stubborn sunshine on a cloudy day, gunshot wound, Head Wound, Coloring Books Series: Part 4 of Bad Things Happen Bingo Summary:

The one where Tim has to be the oldest for like five minutes and decides he doesn't like it (but does a good job anyways).

Full story under cut

“Alvin? Alvin… Draper?” A nurse called from across the room. Tim pulled his head out of his hands, careful not to jostle his fake moustache. “This way please.” She intoned, waving a hand towards a bustling hallway.

Damian nearly leapt out of the stiff plastic chair, and he slowly followed suit, trying to act causal. He doubted he was fooling anyone; his legs shook as he walked forward, and he was pretty sure he left a ring of butt sweat on his seat. Taking deep breaths to calm his fraying nerves, he concentrated on taking steady steps forward – he didn’t care much for Damian, but there was no way he’d let a child go through this sort of thing alone. Especially one who probably had never visited someone in the hospital (let alone been in one) before.

 He’d gotten a panicked call from Barbara a few days ago. Gotham in ruins, streets in chaos… the usual. Bruce was gone. He couldn’t miraculously pull them out of these things anymore. The first Batman was dead, and this time… they could lose the second.

 “Report.” Damian demanded, his harsh tone penetrating Tim’s thoughts. He was suddenly aware of the chaos of the hallway, of people jostling them as they rushed by, a cacophony of machines squealing and loud voices, and bright lights illuminating tacky flooring. He’d fallen a pace behind and quickened his step to stand firmly next to his… little brother.

 As much he’d tried to deny it, at the end of the day, that’s what bound them. Fealty to a dead man, he’d once hoped they could be something more – but this family was ripping apart at the seams and Tim had to wonder what even kept them all here anymore.

 Though – that wasn’t hard to figure out.

 Dick was in trouble, and he came running. He’d been in trouble and Dick had come running. They were brothers in every sense of the word, without Bruce tying them together. His stomach clenched at the thought that it might all be lost to him forever, and he swallowed the bile burning at the top of his throat.

 Dick had this way of making you feel like you were the only person in the world – when you talked to him, he listened, gave advice, and would drop anything to help. He quickly crawled his way into your life, cementing you as family. Things were never perfect, and they’d had their fights, but Dick always bent first, forgiveness freely given rather than earned. Tim had needed that. And from what little time they’d spent together, he knew Damian did too.

 Panic. That was the only way to describe how he felt. He couldn’t be that for Damian – he couldn’t be Dick. He let out a shaky breath – Dick had to be fine – he couldn’t – not after Bruce – he couldn’t do this again – he was on the verge of shattering after finally picking up all the broken pieces of himself and –

 “I said, report.” Damian squeaked. He jolted back into reality, steading his breath, and replaying the last few minutes, his mind trying to catch up.

 The nurse seemed unamused, her nostrils flaring and brow tight as she glanced back. “Sorry, my brother’s a little uhh… stressed…?” He stammered, not wanting to offend Damian – or worse, start an argument in a crowded hallway. But he didn’t flinch at the comment, a testament to the seriousness of the situation they found themselves in.

 Dick was shot in the back of the head, and Tim honestly had no idea if they’d gotten him medical attention in time. He could be comatose for the rest of his life, would never breathe on his own, never talk to them again, never walk, never think, never… god… he’d never talk to Dick again, and it was all his fault for being too late, too unprepared, too much of a failure to-

 “The operation went well, we need to keep him for observation, but we’re hopeful he’ll make a full recovery in a month or two.” Tim blinked back tears as a weight lift off his shoulders, bringing a hand up, covering his eyes for just a second. He looked up to find Damian frozen; too stunned to move. He gently placed an arm around his shoulders, tugging him along so he wouldn’t be swept up in the tide. Surprisingly, that much was allowed today, the child’s thoughts were elsewhere, so Tim focused his thoughts on him.

 Damian was only ten. And he’d almost lost Dick to a fate worse than death, after seeing him shot before his eyes, helpless to stop it. They didn’t have hospitals in the League, it was kill or be killed, and then there were the pits. Had he ever watched someone recover naturally?

 “He’ll be okay.” Tim hissed, in a tone that only Damian could hear. Damian startled back into the present, glaring at him briefly, shaking off Tim’s hand, and storming after the nurse. He kept his expression carefully out of view.

 They turned into a private hospital room, pulling the door shut behind her, and winked. “Timothy Drake-Wayne and Damian Wayne, I presume.”

 He could feel the kid freeze beside him, his own heart threatening to escape his throat.

 “Oh, sorry - don’t panic, I’m with STAR Labs, we’ve worked with Richard and his team for years.” Damian huffed in annoyance. “Your identities aren’t compromised; Oracle made the arrangements for our team to take over when he arrived.” She passed her clipboard to Tim. “The walls are soundproof, you can stay as long as you want, I trust you can get out on your own, and it’s not like I’m going to stop you if you decide to stay longer than I recommend.” She sighed. “Just, don’t distress the patient, he’ll be confused when he wakes up, it’s normal. Call if you need, our monitoring systems are top notch, we’ll be watching – but not listening of course.”

 And with that, the nurse turned on her heel, exiting as fast as she’d arrived, leaving Tim opened mouthed next to a wide-eyed Damian.

 He watched as the door slowly turned on its hinges, picking up speed until it slammed shut. Almost immediately it popped back open. “If he tries to get up, don’t let him escape.” She rolled her eyes. “You human patients are always the worst.” And with that, she was gone. A few awkward, silent moments passed.

 “Are you coming, Drake?” Damian’s voice had lost its normal edge, as he determinedly stared at the windows. He couldn’t see Dick from where they stood, but he could make out the edge of the bed, a pure white sheet neatly tucked under the edge.

 He shifted, hesitantly - he always hated this part. But regardless, he took the lead, striding forward, and allowing Damian the comfort of walking in someone’s shadow. Because even if he wouldn’t say it, there was no way the kid wanted to do this alone. He couldn’t replace Dick – was thankful he didn’t have to, but this – this was the least he could do.

 Hospital beds have this way of making the people inside them seem smaller. Tim braced himself as he stepped into view, and well, it could be worse. Dick was out cold, drooling on his pillow still hooked up to a few monitors, which steadily droned and beeped in the background. A lump of gauze and bandages swathed the base of his skull.

 Damian flitted past his side to sit in the chair next to the bed, and Tim sprang into action, taking the chair next to the window. He flipped through the charts without really reading anything, and the two sat in stony silence. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through dozens of missed calls and unanswered texts before shoving it back in his pocket.

 He spared a glance at Damian - he was curled up in the chair, grimacing and staring at the wall. He didn’t dare try saying anything more, lest they start fighting in Dick’s hospital room. He contented himself with staring out the window, watching the dawn break, violets and purples dancing across the sky. The sun rose with pinks and oranges blossoming soon after.

 Things would be okay. They had to be okay. He slowed his breathing, focusing on the sky rather than the scent of disinfectant. The steady beep of machines slowly fading into the distance. Closing his eyes, he could pretend for a moment, that this was normal. He was in a hotel, maybe on a vacation, in some city that wasn’t destroyed every few months. There had to be a place like that still out there.

 A little chickadee hopped around on the windowsill, fluttering back and forth, before flying off again. “Bye.” Tim snapped to attention, whirling around to find Dick squinting out the window. Damian sprung out of his chair. “Bruce?” He asked confusedly, frowning at Damian.

 Panic flickered across the kid’s face, and he recoiled, stepping back. “No. I’m Damian, don’t be foolish.” His voice wobbled at the end, and Tim’s heart throbbed painfully at the way Damian stiffened, meticulously shutting off any signs of vulnerability.

 “Remember what the nurse said, he’s going to be confused for a bit.” Tim reminded, striding over to sit at the edge of the bed. Dick went back to looking at the now closed window. “Dick, you with us?” He leaned into Dick’s line of sight, trying for a smile, and waited for a minute before leaning back. “I’m going to take that as a no.”

 “-tt-” Damian stepped forwards again. “Don’t bother him, Drake.” He spat.

 Tim didn’t really know what to say, so he didn’t say anything at all. Damian climbed back into his chair, tucking his legs up to sit crisscrossed, his back stiff and upright. Tim grabbed his chair, pulling it closer to the edge of the bed. He placed a hand over Dick’s, rubbing a finger over his knuckles, taking comfort in the fingers twitching slightly under his own.

 Dick was alive. He would live. Would recover. He hadn’t lost his older brother.

 “His name’s Tim.” Dick mumbled after a few minutes. Damian rolled his eyes. “Tim.” Dick repeated, his eyes glassy as they gazed through Damian’s forehead.

 “Yeah?” Tim lightly tapped Dick’s hand. He didn’t move from his focus.

 “Tim. Tim. Tim. Tim.” He continued repeating Tim’s name, staring up at the ceiling.

 “Why is he doing that?” Damian demanded, jumping out of his chair. Dick obliviously repeated the word, seemingly unaffected. “Drake, she said the operation went <em>well</em>.”

 “I dunno.” He sighed, Dick probably had no idea what was going on, nor would he remember this. “Look, he’s delirious, he’s going to be messed up for a bit. He got shot in the head.”

 “I know that. I was there. But if the operation was successful, then why-”

 The door opened, and they fell silent, footsteps approaching. Roy Harper poked around the corner; a phone pressed to his ear. “Okay, he doesn’t look too bad, all things considered. Hey, you, kid, you should actually answer your fu-fudging phone.”

 “That’s a dollar for the swear jar.” A little girl, Lian, he presumed, materialized at his side. She carried a bag with her and zoomed over to Damian. “Daddy says you like to color, so I brought crayons.” She grabbed a pack from her bag and shoved them at him. Damian looked mildly disgusted but took them anyway. “Say thank you.” Lian demanded.  

 Damian opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Tim glanced at Roy, he winked, doing his best not to laugh as he finished talking with whoever was on the phone.

 “Thank you.” Dick replied, patting Lian’s head. His eyes seemed to find hers before darting away to stare at the ceiling.

 “Not you.” She groaned. “Him.” She pointed at Damian.

 “Thank you.” He repeated. Lian cracked a smile, giggling.

 “Don’t laugh, it isn’t funny – he’s delirious.” Damian replied harshly, eyes narrowing. Lian shrugged, turning, almost sizing him up. She was only maybe an inch shorter than him, if he had to venture a guess.

 “Uncle Dick is always happier when you laugh.” She pointed out. “It’s contagious.” Sure enough, a wide looping grin had materialized on Dick’s face.

 “But we’re in a hospital.” Damian looked outraged; his hands balled in little fists.

 “Daddy says laughter is the best medicine.” She retorted, crossing her arms. Roy tossed his phone (it landed perfectly in the center of the little dresser next to the bed), and scooped up his daughter in a big hug, sweeping her off the ground.

 “Look, kid.” He looked down at Damian. “I know this is scary and it sucks, but my kid’s got a point.” He kissed the top of her head, prompting more giggles. “She’s a smart cookie, and this isn’t exactly her first rodeo.” Damian’s ears flushed, his face unchanged, but his ears beet red.

 “This is not my first rodeo, and if you were more competent, than-”

 “If Dick was a dumb-, I mean, if he was more competent, we wouldn’t be here.” Roy pointed out, speaking over Damian. Lian smacked his face lightly.

 “Daddy, that’s rude.” Roy rolled his eyes. Dick started speaking in a language Tim vaguely recognized, looking displeased at the argument.

 “Sweetie, I’m trying to make a point.” He set her down, ruffling her hair. “Why don’t you get out the coloring book and let Damian pick out a page.” Damian opened his mouth to comment, but Roy cut him off. “Look, you should see how happy Dick is when Lian gives him coloring pages. I think he’s earned one from you.” Damian closed his mouth. His brain seemingly compiling the information. “What she said isn’t wrong, he’ll recover faster if he’s happier, Timbo, you’re a bat-nerd, back me up here.”

 “Well according to a study done in-” Roy held up a hand.

 “Point made, don’t put me to sleep.” Tim rolled his eyes, remembering why he used to avoid hanging out with (some of) Dick’s friends. For now, he joined Roy in staring down Damian, Lian gazing at him too, an unlikely team up in a battle of wills.

 “Only if Drake makes one too.” Damian miraculously relented after a few minutes. Tim nodded, peace from Damian was worth doing some coloring. Dick would be incredibly happy – these pages would likely be framed; it would be worth it to see the smile on his face. It was worth it now to see Lian’s face light up, as she rushed to unpack her things.

 “Oh, and I brought Uncle Dick a stuffy.” She pulled out a stuffed elephant and placed it in the crook of his elbow. “Say thank you.” Dick replied – still not speaking anything he could place, and Lian smiled, Dick smiled back.

 “What’s he been saying?” Tim asked, looking to Roy, as Damian slid to the floor, selecting coloring pages with Lian. Roy sat on the side of the bed, carefully leaning Dick forward, to get a better look at the back of his head. He whistled, ignoring Tim for a moment.

 “You really did it to yourself this time, jeez Dickie.” He muttered to himself before turning back. “He’s speaking Navajo, he was counting to ten earlier, and he told Lian thanks.” Roy rolled his eyes. “Would you believe his pronunciation is always better when he’s like this?”

 “No, that seems on brand.” Tim mused. “Apparently my French gets exponentially better the less I’ve slept.” Roy shrugged, and turned back on Dick.

 “Quit rubbing off on the kids, you don’t want them to turn into you, yah? Bunch a’ weirdo bat-nerds.” Dick was apparently, not listening, and was more into petting the plushy.

 “Zitka.” He replied, showing it to Roy. Roy patted his shoulder.

 “Yeah buddy, I know. Isn’t she cute?” He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Dick’s forehead. Something seemed to click in Tim’s brain, as Dick garbled on, fascinated by the toy.

 “How many times have you done this?” He asked, watching as Roy leaned back, taking the seat next to the bed. He shrugged.

 “I stopped counting after Blood fried his brains, back when he ran around in a V-neck.” Tim cringed, that was before he even became Robin. “Don’t look like that, he didn’t die.” Not that time, or this time – but things had been too close for comfort more times than Tim wanted to think about. Roy’s fingers drummed against the armrest. “I don’t know, Garth tried out the elephant thing a while back. It keeps him happy.” He pulled a book out of Lian’s bag, starting to flip through the pages. “Take nap kid – you look deader than him. Lian and I got this covered.”

 Tim leaned back in his chair, tucking his legs up with him. He watched as Dick happily turned the toy over and over in his hands, blearily blinking at the world. Damian was quiet where he sat on the floor, inspecting each of the colors. By the time he put his first stroke to paper, Tim was already fast asleep.

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Erin Brockovich AU

To send this ahead... I know that Brienne’s character is much different from that of Erin in the movie, but by giving some over to Jaime and twisting and shredding things, I found it a very intriguing plot bunny! :D

Brienne doesn’t have it easy lately. Just recently she had to move into a new, shabby house on the outer outskirt of King’s Landing. She can no longer afford her old apartment in King’s Landing after she was fired from her secretary job because she had to take off to take care for her foster children Arya and Sansa and the boss showed little understanding for a single parent taking care of two traumatized girls. And now she stands there with bills to pay and no one willing to hire her.

Sometimes she really wished Catelyn had chosen any other person to take care of her girls in case of her demise, but as things stand, there was no other way. Bran and Rickon are with Osha and Luwin whereas Jon could not possibly take care of his siblings as he was drafted for service at the Wall. Brienne wants to honor that vow since Cat helped her a great deal in the past, but she feels all the more like failing as she cannot provide for the girls what they would deserve after the losses they had to suffer: their parents, oldest brother, his wife, and their home in Winterfell.

However, Brienne won’t let this stop her, so she goes through advertisements and calls any office offering jobs in the hope to find something new. She applies for a job as a secretary in Tyrion Lannister’s law firm, a small thing that mostly runs itself as far as she can judge. Brienne is little impressed when she meets the boss, because Tyrion Lannister does not strike her as a passionate lawyer. Instead, he spends his time looking after women to check them out and drink from his flask hidden under the table.

Brienne applies not as “Brienne of Tarth” but “Brienne of Morne,” her mother’s maiden name. She would rather not, but whenever she applied for jobs she was linked to her father’s ruined company and her failure to ever become a top lawyer due to personal choices she made in the past. She applied for jobs in law firms as a lawyer again and again because she went to the best schools, had excellent grades, but her past continues to haunt her. She is either overqualified, they tell her, or she doesn't have enough courtroom experience, or they think she is a failure because her father's firm went downhill without her being able to stop it. Thus, she writes applications below her profile, leaves out most of her personal past and just hopes to finally get a steady job to provide for Sansa and Arya. She is desperate.

Tyrion is hesitant at first, arguing that he normally looks for "prettier" secretaries, but he has to give in eventually because Brienne won't budge and proves that she can do the job better than any of the other applicants.   Sansa and Arya give her trouble too, Arya gets into fights at school whereas Sansa won’t stick to Brienne’s rules, stay out late and leave her guessing to where the girl is headed.

So no, things are not easy on Brienne, but she won’t let that wear her down as she, at the very least, finally got a job at the law firm to cover the costs. She works her ass off at the office until she stumbles over what seems to be a small case involving selling property to a big chemical industry called The Alchemists' Guild, a business that focused on wildfire and its derivatives. They want to buy properties close to their plant on the outskirt of King's Landing, in a very poor area not that different from the one where Brienne now lives with her girls.

Brienne asks Tyrion if she can look into the case, after all, she can tell something is odd with the numbers due to her experiences she did not list for her application. He handwaves her proposal, much more concerned with his pretty new “intern” Shae.

Fueled by her wish to finally do something close to her past in the law, Brienne heads down the dusty roads to meet the people The Alchemists' Guild wants to purchase the properties from. While most won’t speak to her at first as Brienne doesn't think she has it in her to make people listen to her, the young woman is surprised when people start to tell their stories. Sooner rather than later, they trust her because she listens to them and gives them the facts rather than what they call “lawyer talk”. Brienne continues to gather information, doing what she is accustomed to as a former lawyer: she talks to experts, puts together evidence, and essentially starts to build a case she has any intention to present to Tyrion once she made certain that she is onto something.  

Back home, things don't look as bright, however. Her nanny quits on a whim, leaving Brienne with no one to pick up the girls, make them dinner and the like until she gets home. It gets so bad that one day, the woman she hired to look after Sansa and Arya just doesn't show up and leaves the girls to walk home all by themselves. She is in a panic until she finds them with the recently moved-in and to her mind totally annoying one-handed biker-wannabe Jaime. He has barbecue with them and particularly Arya seems to like the guy who insists on only being referred to by his first name. Ever since he said he took fencing lessons in his youth and would have no trouble teaching her the basics, the girl is sold on the wannabe-biker. Jaime and she thus suggest to Brienne that she should hire him as the new nanny.

Brienne doesn’t know what to do with all this because a man looking like this, acting like this, making lewd comments all the while supposedly being good with teenage girls? How does that fit? The two eventually agree that he gets a shot at taking care of the girls in exchange for a bit of extra money. Jaime says he can use it because with just one hand, working on the construction sites became difficult and the gigs are scarcer around this season.

And so, a truce is born.

Brienne continues her investigation and puts in all of her efforts as she grows increasingly aware of the sheer importance this case has to the people involved. She starts to piece together that the The Alchemists' Guild tries to cover up literal dirty business, relating to people around the area getting sick in large numbers and their usage of wildfire. Brienne suspects a pattern behind this and figures that there must be a connection between the water supply for the town and the plant.

Thus, Brienne wants to request the records to obtain copies. However, the lady sitting at the front desk of the archive won’t let her in. Brienne suspects that she is in cahoots together with The Alchemists' Guild. Brienne fails to charm her way into the archives, that’s never been her strong suit, which is why she heads back to the house feeling like an utter failure.

Back home, she sees that Sansa and Arya really take a liking to Jaime, who runs the house just fine, if a bit unconventionally. When Jaime sees Brienne drag herself into the house, looking like someone just took her favorite medieval sword fighting film away, he wants to know what's wrong with her. She won’t admit at first, after all, Brienne hates to show weakness, but Jaime won’t budge and continues to poke her for information until she gives in and admits that she failed today.

“The downsides of being as ugly as a mare: I can't charm my way into the archive,” Brienne sighs.

“You can be charming in your own way if you try.”

“Shut up. And anyway, it's a lady.”

“Doesn't mean you could not put on a flirty face. Maybe she's looking for a bit of an adventure after all. I don’t judge.”

She rolls her eyes. “I never should have told you.”

“Fine, fine, I stop. I stop,” he laughs. “But I may have a solution.”

“Which is?”

Jaime points at himself with a smug grin. “Me.”

“You are the solution how? No offense, but you don't inspire... confidence in your legal status, shall I say?” Brienne scoffs.

“You said it. It's about flirting. And I am really good at that.”

“Are you? I did not notice.”

“Because I have no intention of flirting with you. I am your employee after all. If you properly compensate me, though, I can do expand my services, only just for you, wench.”

“Compensate you.”

“Well, you will have to give me a bit of a starter to set things up. For that, you get all the copies you want so desperately.”

“You are supposed to take care of Sansa and Arya. That’s what the truce is about, remember?”

“And they will be gone for a whole week for that school trip, remember?”

“... I forgot.” Brienne grimaces. It rubs her in the wrong way that Jaime already handles things so well that she finds herself forgetting things she wouldn’t have, but the job consumes so much of her time that she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Thought so,” Jaime chuckles. “So I got nothing to do anyway. Give me fifty stags and I will get you those copies tomorrow after we dropped the girls off. Deal?”

“... What's the worst that can happen, huh?”

Brienne is to find out the next day, remaining rather irritated by Jaime’s cryptic messages who says he will meet her outside the archive and that she is supposed to wait for the “big show.” She doesn't know what to expect until a very suave looking Jaime walks up to her, dressed in nice clothes, his hair in a neat bun, beard trimmed, stump securely hidden away in his fancy jacket, looking nothing like the biker she got to know and yelled at the first time she met him.

Jaime is having his dear fun at Brienne’s ogling at him before proceeding inside and charming the lady into giving him access to the archives. Jaime pretends to be an “intern” working for some “nasty lady” who only ever treats him badly.

“She yells at me and only ever bosses me around. Can you imagine?”

“Oh, trust me, I can.”

Brienne is bound to wait until Jaime re-emerges with the promised copies, looking like he just won the lottery. Brienne almost feels tempted to hug him, but just almost. Jaime is feeling pretty ecstatic at her blushing and evidently checking him out. He tells Brienne she can request his services again any time she needs it.

“Though next time, you may have to take me out for dinner afterwards.”

“… We’ll have to see about that.”

Brienne finally feels a bit vindication when she comes to the office, ready to present her findings to Tyrion, but that hope is instantly crushed when she finds her desk cleaned, stuffed into a box, and the other employees looking at her with nothing but misgiving. When she demands to know what is going on, Tyrion calls her to his office to inform her that he can’t keep a secretary who doesn’t come to work, seemingly having forgotten that she told him she wanted to investigate this case, and to top it all, he does not appreciate that she lied about her identity. He reveals to her that he did some research on his own and figured out that she is actually the “infamous” Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne is enraged because he dug through her past without her consent, looking at what she tried to bury, all of that pain that cost her so very much, not just the family company, not just her reputation as a lawyer, but also her father who died shortly after he had to file for bankruptcy due to business partners making bad investments on his behalf. She storms out of the building, furious but also desperate because she just lost her source of income.

Back home, Jaime is fixing things around the house to the best of his abilities. Brienne loses her cool a last because she can't afford to pay him anymore, she can't do anything right.

“Everything I touch, it just breaks apart.”

She confesses to Jaime at last what went on in her past, tells him all about her father’s failing business, how her father didn’t involve her in the business until it was too late because he wanted to give her the freedom to follow her personal mission of defending those people in court who couldn’t defend themselves. She tells Jaime all about her father’s death, and how that left her with massive debts to pay, but despite her experience and education, she was forced into taking small jobs, hide herself, because she never made more out of herself when she still could.

“And now I am not just failing myself, I am failing Sansa and Arya. Seven Hells, I am even failing you. I am failing everyone!”

To her great shock, she finds herself in the arms of the man she has a truce with. Jaime comforts her and holds her close when her world is on the verge of falling apart. And for the first time in a long time, she simply lets go, allows herself to accept that comfort, to let someone else hold her when she is so used to keeping it together for others.

Jaime trusts her with some of his past at last, something she never demanded of him to know, how he lost his hand during his time in the military and returned a war veteran with trauma but no family to support him when it mattered. His father just wanted him to join the family company and his sister could not care less about him as she was too absorbed into her own affairs. Even his little brother, who used to look up to him, wasn’t there for him when it mattered. Jaime only ever found joy in riding his motorbike and eventually he was so fed up with the family that he could not take it anymore and simply started to drive, never looking back.

One thing leads to another and the two fall into each other’s arms and into the bed. And for a time, things seem fine again, however broken, because Jaime is all the things Brienne wouldn’t have thought him to be when they first met. He is soft and caring as well as witty and snarky. And Jaime finds that with Brienne, he can finally talk to someone who understands, who bothers to listen, who doesn’t look at him as a lesser man for the choices he made, for the hand he lost and the lifestyle he chose for himself. For the first time in a long time, neither one feels alone in this world.

Sometime later, Jaime takes the girls out for something fun to do so that Brienne has the house to herself and can make some phone calls to find a new job. Brienne is surprised when shortly thereafter, Tyrion winds up on her doorsteps. He says he read her report and finally understood that he was being “kind of a cock” for thinking she was taking time off without telling him and was indeed working this whole time as she had insisted.

“I just thought you were lying,” he admits.

“I don't, not when it comes to those things.”

“You lied about your name.”

“I put in my mother's name because whenever I applied with my own, no one would give me a chance. And I find that kind of unfair, wouldn’t you agree?”

“It is... So, can I come inside?”

“Under the condition that I will throw you out the moment on I am fed up.”

“I suppose I will have to agree to those terms, Miss Tarth.”

Tyrion and she sit down for a long overdue conversation about the case. Tyrion lets her know that he is now convinced that she is onto something big. He wants to work the case, with her, and have a look at the research she gathered but did not include in the report she left at the office before storming out.

Brienne, remembering Jaime's words about how she has to see more worth in herself, demands not just her job back, but to be accepted as who she is and what she is, lawyer Brienne of Tarth. And a raise. Tyrion likes the change of tone and agrees, telling her that he found a replacement anyway, in Shae.

“She does not know how to file reports, but she is good at making coffee.”

“I suppose that's not the only thing you see as being of merit.”

“Far from it.”

“Be it as it may... I have one more condition.”

“Which is?” he wants to know.

“If we go to court with this, if we really work this case, you will cut down on your alcohol consumption. I won't have a partner in on this case who sleeps under the office desk. The people I talked to, they matter to me, their lives depend on our success, and I won’t let someone in on the case who isn’t a hundred percent committed to the cause.”

“I am a very highly functioning alcoholic.”

“Cut it down or cut me out. Your choice.”

“You learn fast.”

“I may have a good teacher, though he still has to prove himself.”

Tyrion asks her to have another look at the archives because there must be more to what she currently has. Brienne says that she will have to ask her “friend” to do that, letting him know that she had no luck whereas her friend did. Tyrion is amused by the arrangement and jokes about how that sounds more like this “friend” is to her what Shae is to him. Tyrion suggests to her that he should meet that guy as well, to instruct him on what to look for. He has a greater knowledge regarding those matters than Brienne happens to have because he worked similar cases before. Brienne agrees to the arrangement.

That is the moment Jaime returns with the girls. Brienne tells him about the good news, only for him to go completely blank when he sees Tyrion and Tyrion sees him. Brienne doesn't know what's happening until both drop the bombshell that Jaime is Jaime Lannister and that this is his brother. Brienne never mentioned the name of the law firm to Jaime because he said he did not care.

As it turns out that the brothers were estranged after Tyrion took off to Essos to work for Daenerys Targaryen as a legal advisor when Jaime would have needed him most after the loss of his hand. When he made the cut away from Cersei and Tywin, Jaime thought Tyrion would stand by his side, but he did not. Instead, Tyrion rather kept out of the affairs and hid away in Essos. Jaime never forgave him that and broke with him the same way he did with the rest of the Lannister clan.

Jaime leaves the house in a hurry, unable to deal with his brother and his past catching up to him. Brienne goes after him and comforts him, to “return the favor.” While she won't ask him to go back to the archive and thus help his brother, Jaime says he will do it because he's seen what wildfire can do in the warzone under Aerys in particular, and he could not live with himself if he let people get away with using it.

“Just don't expect me to make peace with my brother.”

“I don't.”

“Then the truce remains intact.”

The work continues and the three work on their parts of the case. Brienne keeps gathering evidence and interviews to connect the dots, Tyrion preps up the battle tactic alongside her and gets back into his old game as the stellar figure he used to be in court despite his height, and Jaime ventures through the archives and on occasion charms his way into the hearts of the locals they have to interview when Brienne can't seem to get through to them.

However, big trouble is on the way and one set-back hunts the next. Running out of money, subtleties from the team of lawyers they are up against, files disappearing, threats, and unknown phone calls are only some of the problems they are facing.

The investigation starts to take its toll on Jaime’s and Brienne’s burgeoning relationship. Jaime doesn’t know whether he can commit to this kind of life he slipped into, after he embraced a life without strings attached for so very long. Brienne, for her part, can’t slow down and dedicates almost all of her time to he work. She would love to spend more time with Arya and Sansa, but she has a responsibility towards those people, she made a promise and has to keep it, has to, has to, has to. However, she also struggles with her feelings for Jaime because she doesn’t want to hold him back, well aware that he is still coming to terms with his PTSD he suffered in the war. She doesn’t want to burden him and doesn’t feel like she can make him stay. After all, she is not flirty, is not charming, and bad luck just keeps sticking to her flat heels.

And all of that happens in the midst of a legal war about to begin between The Alchemists' Guild and Brienne and her team.

But will they win?

Will justice win?

And what may be the costs of that battle?

Only time will show.

Additional Image Source: Erin Brockovich (2000).

[yukiwrites]

Acting on Their Feelings, for the First Time

Thank you so much for the support again, @ramanannnn! I had a blast writing Theode, and I hope you like it!

Summary: Theode and Xander have known each other since their teenage years, sharing many a memory through their lives. After the war against the Forgotten Dragon was won, finally Xander could find it in himself to act on his feelings to propose, but Theode was afraid of what that meant for them.

Commission info HERE and HERE!

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The fog of a very old dream clouded Xander's mind during his sleep, enveloping him in a warm nostalgia. He watched his body move through his own eyes, as though he weren't dreaming; but the body that moved was much, much younger.

A teenager not older than fifteen, in fact. An eager Crown Prince who carried the burden of the world on his shoulders -- the burden of a King and Father who distanced himself over the course of the years; the burden of an older sibling ready to protect the remnants of his family; the burden of a Prince who had to be the single best at whatever he did no matter how much his hands bled with effort.

He had to be a presence worth of inspiration, both from his family and peers as well as from the people he would one day govern over. 'Eager' was a word for it, yes. A more accurate one would be 'anxious', but the young Prince didn't know that at the time.

Despite being almost entirely conscious during the revisiting of this memory, Xander, now King of Nohr, still felt the same rush of emotions he did during his teenage years as the dream progressed. He saw himself fail to learn this or that move taught by his fencing teacher and drag that failure with him throughout the days, sneaking into the training grounds at any given free time he had to perfect his stance.

It was during one of those times that they met.

Xander could feel her coming, already knowing what would happen next, but his younger self inside the dream remained oblivious to the comfortable pounding his heart started to make. A set of steps behind him alarmed the young Prince, making him suddenly turn around.

A soft voice gasped in surprise, but then smiled gently. "Do you want to spar with me?"

Xander woke from the dream with a smile, his eyes slowly taking their time to open -- only just so they could play that wonderful smile again and again until the fog of sleep left them. "Yes, I very much would like to, Theode." He said in a hoarse voice, mildly aware he was talking to his dream, but uncaring as he saw the dark-haired girl smile and ready her stance.

Soon the memory disguised as a dream vanished, making the King clutch his chest in almost sorrow. He already missed her, despite having spoken with Theode just the previous day.

Nay, who was he kidding -- he missed what he never had in the first place: the warmth of her hand in his, the softness of her skin enveloped around his body... The cottony texture of her hair amidst his fingers as he ran his hands through it. The taste of her lips and the allure of her voice.

Ah, what a fool Xander had been to wait for so long! He dreamed with Theode every other day, yet only managed to gaze upon her restrained beauty from the safety of his position as King. As his knight, Theode was bound by duty to stay beside him, so Xander admitted he turned rather complacent with what having her by his side for so long, even after the war against the Forgotten Dragon had been won for a few months.

But he couldn't lie anymore, neither allow himself to comfortably enjoy the twinge of this old, deeply rooted love from a safe distance. He had to take action; at least tell her how he felt so he could finally put this either behind or in front of him, depending on her answer.

Sitting up in the dark, the King glanced at the bedside table as though he could see the ring he had safely stored inside of its drawer, asking for the same resolve he had had the day he ordered it made for Theode's hand only.

Still enjoying the comfortable pain he grew used to having during the long while of harboring these feelings, Xander shook his head slowly before stretching.

Sleep had evaded him, but dawn was still far from breaking.

Only one thing left to do, then: to the training ground it was, until he had to put on the crown and attend to his business as King.

Perhaps it was because he was influenced by the dream, but Xander couldn't help but see Theode in every corner of that training ground: be it smiling or frowning; being upset or emotional. It was all filled with her; the entire place had memories upon memories of their time together throughout the years.

He had seen her cry from being an outcast from the court (though she remedied that by never allowing herself to show her tears to him again), he had seen her shout excitedly from having won a match against him for the first time and immediately cower in embarrassment from being so loud (Xander chuckled at that memory as he picked a training sword), he had seen her hurt her wrists from over training as well as carried her to the healers under her protests... He had watched very closely whenever her hairdo went loose, watched as she masterfully combed it back with her fingers, swiftly braiding it again in a way that made Xander's heart flutter despite being such a mundane thing for her.

The King could bet anything in his possession that Theode hadn't the slightest idea of how whatever little action she did impacted him so. He could even tell from the depth of her frown what was it that plagued her thoughts, though that part he would always keep to himself.

Xander started his usual regimen with a large smile upon his face, seeing Theode training right in front of him. It all felt as though he were still in the dream -- his steps were light as were his strikes swift.

He felt at the top of the world!

That was the day; today was definitely the day!

"Oh, I didn't expect to see you here, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." Theode's voice rang in his ears, making Xander huff in the middle of his session before twirling the sword and assuming his defensive stance.

Panting, the King turned to the voice. "Will you not join me, Theode?" He said as he regained his breath as the sweat dripped down his forehead, neck and body. "It's been rather productive today." He smiled so brightly it made the knight widen her eyes and cover her face in a vain attempt to hide her blushing cheeks.

He looked so very radiant! The sun making its rare appearance through the thick clouds of Nohr didn't help, either -- it was as though only the spot Xander stood in was illuminated by the shy rays of sunlight. Theode could even see a few sparkles surrounding the King, as though he truly were knight in shining armor from one of her favorite novels.

Blinking, the knight gulped as she cursed her heart from thumping so loudly and her brain for making her think about stupid stuff. "Y-you look busy right now, so I suppose I'll be heading back-"

Actually hearing her voice again made Xander blink in surprise. Oh, so he had been speaking to the real Theode, not the ones that had flooded his mind, inspired by the dream. "Nonsense, my friend." He walked towards her at large strides, his long legs catching up with her small ones with ease. He slid one hand in hers, noticing that she already carried a practice sword with the other. "Do join me here. It is never the same to train without you."

Theode forgot how to breathe for a hot moment, doing everything in her power to focus her gaze on Xander's eyes and not on his open, gasping lips, nor his two-button-exposed chest which went up and down with effort. "Theeee," she looked away from him lest she lost the battle against her own brain and ogled him entirely, focusing on what excuse she was about to spring up this time, "war... Yes, the war's already won for a few months, and yet you still train so hard, Your Majesty-"

"Pray, how many times must I ask simply call me by my name when it is just the two of us, Theode? You are my oldest friend here -- do not shut me away in such manner." He squeezed her hand a little bit, reminding her that she still hadn't let go.

Sighing, the knight tired of feeling nervous in her teenage crush's presence, looking down in defeat. "Work habits, work habits. I'm sorry." She bobbed her head to the sides. "Oh, very well, let's train, Xander. I suppose it is training that's kept us by each other's side for so long."

"In the beginning, it indeed was." He looked straight into her eyes, as though he could guess what her heart was struggling to keep locked into it for the rest of her days. Theode gulped, looking away once again.

"Shall we, then?" She waved her training sword, prompting the King to let go of her hand to grab his own.

"Very well. En garde!"

Theode and Xander had shared many a training sessions in the past -- but that chilly morning in particular felt much different than usual. Xander was eager, almost hungrily so, to win. He smiled as though he was having the time of his life, sometimes almost laughing (something Theode regrettably saw less and less as the years progressed) whenever he landed a hit. It was as though they were the same teenagers from over a decade ago, with nothing to lose but their energy as they exchanged blows.

"Hah... hah... I wield! By the gods, Xander, you're a beast today! What's... huff... what's gotten into you?" Theode bent down on herself to catch her breath, drying the sweat dripping out of her forehead with her sleeve.

Still wearing the smile, Xander took the hand towel he had brought to dry his face, promptly offering his handkerchief for Theode to do the same. "Invigorating, was it not?"

Accepting the kind gesture, but still too winded to form coherent words, Theode focused on regaining her breath. "That's one... word for it, yeah." She huffed, straightening her back to look up and breathe deeply. Yet, despite having lost, she felt overjoyed.

She knew Xander tended to work through whatever it was that bothered him by crossing blades with someone. It helped him clear his mind and see the truth of what he was debating himself with -- and it made Theode happy to be there to help him do it. If she could support him from behind like that till the end of her days, she would be content.

Not happy, surely, but at least content.

Ah, great, now she felt the chill of her dark future envelop her body and heart once again. It came rather earlier today, too. The dread of having to watch Xander form a family she would never be a part of (how could she, really? Unworthy as she was, it was already a miracle that she was allowed to be in his presence at all) and still be the recipient of his kindness and eager smiles... It almost crushed her while still giving her strength to go on.

As long as she was by his side, she would be able to endure it.

Probably.

"Theode?" Xander's concerned voice and warm hand by her shoulder made the knight shriek in surprise, jumping out of his reach. Startled, Xander blinked. "Are you feeling unwell? Did I overdo it after all?"

"Huweh? No, no, no, I'm fine. Truly, one hundred percent fine!" She picked up the sword she threw on the ground in her surprise, pretending to pat away any dirt from it. "Fine is my middle name!"

"Hah," Xander chuckled. "If you have it in you to joke about this, then I can only believe that you are not unwell. Wonderful, then, for I have something I must speak with you about later this morning, if you'll make some time for me?" He swiftly placed the towel by his shoulder, his entire body drenched in sweat.

Theode's body ran cold yet again, her voice slipping away. Was he going to dismiss her? Or tell her he finally found a wife and wanted her to be the first one to know because she was his 'oldest friend'? Would she be able to bear the news?

What if she couldn't handle it, after all? What if the burden of watching him with another woman was too much? She knew she could never be the one beside him, but at least for now he had no such someone.

Would that last forever? Of course not, who was Theode kidding. He was King -- he had to find a suitable partner to keep his bloodline going.

Someone suitable for him. Perhaps Azura, or even Kamui.

Who was she compared to those princesses, after all, right?

"Theode? You've gone silent again."

The knight lowered her head, pursing her lips. "I- think I'll be rather busy today, Your Majesty."

Xander's shoulders stiffened with the sudden distance Theode put between them. Still, he wasn't about to let that dissuade him. "Tomorrow, then, Theode. Whenever you have the time -- do come to see me; or I can go to you. I must tell you something important."

Wincing, Theode clutched her heart. "I'll- I'll see when I'm free, Your Majesty. If you'll excuse me, I need to report to my Capitan." She scrambled for the words, leaving before he had even the chance to reach out to her.

Hurt by her demeanor, but more worried about what brought it on, Xander took it upon himself to taking the ring box with him whenever he went -- he never knew when the opportunity could place itself, despite his desire to propose during a romantic dinner or a quiet moment.

He wouldn't let it slip past him.

... Or so he thought, but Theode could be a very hard woman to find if she so desired. She did know his schedule by heart, so it should be easy to avoid him if she wanted -- which was the case, clearly. She would avoid meeting his eyes whenever they accidentally crossed paths in the corridor, would never actually be in her quarters despite all the different times Xander went there to check and never showed up again for a morning practice.

It was driving Xander crazy! Even the Theode inside his dreams ran from him -- he dreaded closing his eyes at night lest he experienced the previous day again and again until he gave up getting some rest.

Perhaps... Perhaps she had caught wind of what he had planned and ran from him.

Perhaps that was her silent way of saying that she was happy with how their relationship was at the moment. What if he had been to forward and scared her away? What if she somehow realized his feelings for her and pushed them back into his heart, whence they should've never left?

Sighing with defeat after waking up for the third time that night, Xander walked towards his overcoat to take the little box out of it, shoving it back into its drawer. If it meant having Theode running away from him, he would keep his feelings tightly shut inside his heart.

As they should have been.

After avoiding Xander for an entire week, Theode was already beside herself with guilt -- she could see how eager he had been in pursuing her, but the dreading thoughts clouding her mind guided her steps away from him in fear of hearing what he had to say.

Another three days had passed before she realized that she hadn't actually actively avoided him lately -- on the contrary, it was as though they didn't even live in the same castle. Not once did their paths cross, which was terribly strange. Even when she WAS avoiding him, it was as though he was everywhere at the same time! What could be happening?

Oh, no.

Oh, no no no no... What if he started to avoid her now? She knew he wasn't the kind of man to resort to such petty actions, but what if what if what if?

She was a weak woman -- she would resume her talking with him eventually, so she wasn't much too worried about the time she had been running away from him. But Xander wasn't a small man. He would stick to whatever path of action he had chosen, no matter what.

If he seriously started avoiding Theode, they might never see each other again.

Her heart growing cold, Theode held her head with both hands in panic. She had to do something do something do something!

Something breaking in the distance caught her attention towards the Mess Hall -- probably Felicia making a mess again, but that wasn't important at the moment. "That's it! I can- maybe, maybe I can... Apologize by making something. Yes. Yes, that's what I'll do. Then I'll listen to what he had to say and calmly accept my fate. It's... preferable than not being with him at all." She nodded, pumping herself before trotting to the kitchen.

The recipe she had in mind would be hard to replicate since it was of a foreign country and there were no such ingredients in Nohr, but Theode managed to make do. Instead of a cream it turned out to be a brown-sugar colored jelly, but it was still edible and delicious, so she was proud of it, despite the sad gurgling sound that left it whenever she jiggled the bowl.

Content with her creation, Theode skipped out of the Mess Hall only to hit her head at full force on what she could only guess it was a wall or something. "Ouch-"

"Oh, forgive me, I did not see you there- Oh, Theode." A familiar voice left the wall Theode had just ran into, making her shoot her head up in surprise.

"X-Xander!" She held onto the bowl for her dear life, clearly not ready to meet with him so soon.

"Forgive me once again, Theode. Are you not hurt? I shall leave your presence shortly." He apologized after patting her shoulders as a way to check for any injuries. And, as promised, he turned on his heel to leave.

"Oh, please don't go!" Theode held his hand. "I'm the one who's sorry for running away from you all that time. I- I don't even have a good reason for it, I was just anxious, I suppose. I didn't know what you wanted to tell me and got nervous and- Wait, I do realize I'm babbling, but please hear me out? I made this dessert for you -- and bear with me, it's not too sweet so it should be to your tastes -- as an apology, so please talk to me? I'm really, truly sorry." She said everything in only one breath, panting afterwards.

Xander's shoulders sagged visibly, his frown lessening. "Of course I will talk to you, Theode. Gladly." He squeezed her hand in his, glancing to the strange-looking food inside the bowl, his smile growing. "Then perhaps we should relocate to the tea room? I am most eager to share this delicacy with you while savoring a hot beverage."

Her heart clumped her throat, making Theode unable to speak. "Mhm," she managed to nod as she allowed herself to be led to wherever Xander wanted to take her.

To Theode's delight, Xander truly enjoyed the jelly/goo she made, saying it complimented the bitterness of the tea he chose for their gathering. They spoke of the days they had been apart -- of the duties he had to attend and the patrols she had overseen.

It truly felt as though they were simple childhood friends again -- talking with him didn't bring her nearly as much anxiety as thinking about talking with him did. Theode was truly, utterly happy to be able to finally share tea and random tidbits about their days with Xander again.

"This is... Truly, this is what I want." He placed one hand over his heart, closing his eyes as though enjoying the utmost bliss.

Confused but not about to deny it, Theode nodded under her teacup. "Mhm... Me too."

"Oh, but do not let me misunderstand this, Theode." He started, sneaking one hand over hers, "I confess that I missed you so very terribly during the time we did not speak... It was an excruciating experience, to say the least."

Theode's face burned. "X-Xander?"

"Heh," he chuckled in spite of himself for having left the ring back in its drawer, "truly, sharing this moment with you only makes me feel as though I were a teenager once again. Every day I share with you invigorates me more, filling me with a reason to live I have never experienced."

Theode's heart thundered in her ears, her hands sweating. She wanted to speak, but her voice never left her throat.

"Truly, I have recognized these feelings a long time ago, but allowed complacency to keep me from acting on them, regrettably. Still, act on them I must, though I will of course respect any which answer you give me, no matter how painful." He looked deep into Theode's eyes, trapping her in his serious gaze, the warmth and roughness of his hand keeping her pinned in place. "Will you marry me, Theode? I have loved you for so long I could not imagine any life without you by my side."

Panicking, Theode heard every single alarm inside of her brain go off. "I- No. I can't- I'm-" she stuttered, wanting to pull away from him, but being betrayed by her own body who didn't want to let go of his hand. "No. No. I'm- I can't!"

"Theode?" Xander huffed with worry, immediately getting up from his seat to kneel beside Theode's, safely guarding her hand between both of his. "What ails you my love- ah, forgive me. What ails you, Theode? You know you can always come to me with your troubles."

"I- Oh, Xander!" She pulled her hand from him so as to cover her face in shame, her tears falling rapidly. "I c-can't! I'm-"

"Know that I do not wish to impose my feelings onto you, Theode. Far from it. If my words hurt you in any way-" He worriedly placed one hand over her arm, wanting to comfort her in any way he could.

"That's- that's not it!" She sobbed, "I feel t-the same but- but I can't! I'm not qualified to be your wife! How could I be the one t-to stand by your side? To be royalty? T-to be Queen? I'm unworthy!"

Xander's heart felt heavy. "It is true that my wife has to be a woman with a strong resolve to carry the weight of the Kingdom by my side, but you do not fall short, Theode! You are the strongest woman I know, truly. I have seen you accept slander, stones and mistreatment with warmth -- never leashing back at the people who have wronged you, nor pointing out their guilt. You are a strong soldier, a caring woman and the most wonderful friend a man and King could have the blessing of having. You are up to the task, irregardless of your birth."

Flinching amidst her tears, Theode once again dove into her hands. How could he have known all of that? The secret pain she had been harboring? Did- did he know it all along and still decided to make her his Queen anyway?

Could she truly hope for a future where she was the one who walked beside him?

"If you do not believe in yourself, so I shall, until you have the confidence to. For as long as I draw breath, my love." He patted her arm, allowing her the time to process everything he had said.

Sobbing, hiccupping and sniffling, Theode could barely form coherent sentences. She nodded weakly, giving him the reply to the most awaited question. "I- I love you so much b-b-but..."

"Shh, no 'but's, my love." He whispered, getting up only enough to envelop Theode in his arms, placing her head by his chest. He squeezed her tenderly, placing a kiss by her voluminous hair. "Know that you've made me the happiest man in the realm, Theode. I swear I will make you happy, for the chance to share my life with you is one that I will never give up."

Theode cried loudly by her beloved's chest, still not fully processing what had happened. Xander simply shushed her, patting her head lovingly for as long as she needed. Perhaps when he presented the ring, she would properly tell him the 'I do' he had been dreaming about for the last decade. Until then, he was content in finally being able to embrace her tears until she calmed down.

[natsutodoroki]

You’ve always been a late bloomer.

You refused to depart from your mothers womb 3 weeks after you were due to come out. You, young & full of dimples & smiles & whatever else a baby had, refused to talk until you neared 14 months. You found walking a hassle, forgot how to breathe   too caught up in the world of watching your brother of eating your sisters hair. In reality, perhaps these were just little hints to how you were going to become todoroki enjis third failure, or simply the worlds last ounces of kindness to you before things were slipped away. You are always a late bloomer, & this time it doesn’t change. 

You are 3 when you develop your quirk.

It’s cold, it’scoldcoldcold as ice slips through your shaking palms into the world around you, freezing the room down below the average temperature you’re used to. You see your older brother crack something of a smile. Your sisters brows, furrowed together in caution, & the relief. You see the relief in your mothers face. You feel joyous, too, undisclosed but joyous all the same.

“ Is that all you can do? ” Your father asks you. “ No flames? ”

“ I don’t think so. ”

He turns directly to your mother. “ ... Then you’ve raised another failure. ” ( failure, a word that would ring in your minds eye forever, not natsuo, not son, failure   that’s all you’ve ever been. )

It’s the last time your father ever looks you in the eyes.

Todoroki Shouto is born when you are 4.

He’s tiny, but the doctors say he’s pretty average for a baby. One eye matching your mothers & the other just like your fathers. The perfect half & half baby, you’d heard spoken by your father out in the corridor. Touya boops his nose & Fuyumi complains of being the only girl in the family & your mother, dear mother, can only laugh softly. 

When it’s your turn to see him, you offer him a finger, his tiny hand ends up latching onto it instead. 

“ Shou - chan, i’m gonna be the best big brother you ever had! ”

( what a lie that was, you muse 14 years later as he tells you he likes soba the most, most brothers would’ve known this much years ago. )

Shouto learns to walk faster than you, talk faster than you. His hair follows his eyes in a match up of both mother & father & he shines brighter in both their eyes everyday. You, surprisingly, have minimal memories of this time. ( a lot of the information is brought up through fuyumi & mothers talks back in the hospital. ) 

He’s the epitome of Todoroki Enji’s mind, & when his quirk shows up to be perfect, it comes less of a surprise than most. 

It’s only the events that pursue after that alert you that something is truly wrong.

You remember the first day you heard shouto’s crying.

No, correction, mother’s screaming & shouto’s crying. Both together, never one without the other ( until mother had to go, then it was only one. )

You do not remember your first reaction, though, only your responce. 

You were awake before they happened. ( awake, always awake & knowing & there ). You were awake when they began, & continued. You were awake during the footsteps.

You were awake enough to run into Touya.

Touya, Touya with shaking fists & glowering eyes. Armed with a rage to match your fathers own, Touya     who’d spent his whole life insisting that things would be okay soon, that everyone was going to be alright. Touya, who had searched for fathers approval & done his best only to wake up to the truth. 

He blinks at you. 

You blink back.

( it’s funny, how two people reaching for the same outcome can come together to create something different. rei is the mother to the both of you, you are both shoutos older brothers. but touya is touya-nii, & you: tear stained & confused, are still his younger brother too. ) 

He guides you back into your room. Sleeps beside you & covers your ears with his palms.

It’s a routine, until he goes.

After an incident with Shouto, mother leaves.

( You’re upset. )

After a while, Touya leaves too.

( You’re upset. )

Years later, in a blaze of “glory”, you leave too.

( You’re upset. )

You know Todoroki Fuyumi lives in a world of twos.

Two pairs of glasses on her possession at all times. Two black pens on the left hand side of her desk. Two stars for two children in her preschool class. Two of everything she likes a little bit more than the rest of them.

Todoroki Fuyumi had found something lucky in the number two, but with her siblings    that shouldn’t have been it.

“ I’ve been through the same with my two brothers. ” She tells some small time pro in the middle of one of todoroki enji’s parties.

“ Well, being the oldest is the hardest ! “ they reply, & suddenly it hits you.

With the vanishment of the presence leads a vanishment of the name: Todoroki touya is simply a burnt out piece of paper with the memories to boot. ( You shouldn’t be surprised, the numb acceptor in you compromises, it was bound to happen the moment they found him gone. )

You excuse yourself when the hurt finds your face.

“ You look like you’ve seen a ghost. ” remarks a smoker outside the building.

“ I have. ” You say, & throw up all over their shoes.

Just because you are not your father does not mean you do not share similar traits, a tall & broad body, for one, & that unwavering stubbornness to never back down in cases where you maybe should.

Fuyumi, in that sense, takes after mother: the forgive & forget to your resent & remember. Dressed in her work clothes & a smile so sorrowed you’d struggle to not feel bad over whatever she wants to say.

“ Can I come in ? ” she shoves her box of leftovers at you

“ Sure. ” you take them.

“ We need to talk … “ She murmurs in a mouth full of sushi.

“ Yeah, well it was really sunny today Yumi. The news reports state it’s gonna be pretty cold tomorrow, I’m kinda grateful for that lack of heat, y’know – “

“ Natsu…. I didn’t forget Touya. You understand that, right? It’s just, dad mentioned that it would be better &      . ”

“ You’re doing this for dad. ” You parrot, there’s that familiar acidic taste in your mouth. “ Touya can go rot in hell for all we care as long as the man who gave him both physical & metaphorical scars can stay happy & question free, right? ”

“ That’s not what    . ”

“ Well it sure sounds like it! First mum, now touya, I wouldn’t be surprised if shouto’s going through it about me, too! ”

“ No, Shouto misses you, we both do… you didn’t leave us & I don’t believe you plan too, natsuo. I don’t want to lose anyone else in this house, I can’t go through it again… “ there’s hurt in her voice, you can’t understand it.

“ But Touya did & that’s on him, yeah? Its funny, how many times he stuck up for us but now he’s gone we can’t do the same for him, huh? Bullshit, yumi, it feels like no one gives a shit about touya in this household apart from me ! ”

Maybe this is your breaking point, eyes full of tears before you crash into her smaller frame. She, the ever present forgiver, wraps your hair around her fingers & soothes you. just like you’re a young boy again, left behind again, lost again.

You are Todoroki Natsuo & you live by three things. 

1. You are not a failure. ( it’s repeated in the mouth of your therapist, the 5 o’clock notification in your phone & written in random post it notes between stacks of college work. )

2. You don’t have to forgive him. ( fuyumi & mother may do, & you have no right to change their minds, but you do not have to follow the same route. )

3. You are simply yourself, live that way. 

[howlpendraqon]

Analysis

What types of symbolism are in the text? 

The symbolism of the heart is used in Howl’s Moving Castle. It symbolizes, as hearts usually do, love and caring about others. Howl says that he made “a bargain some years ago, and... shall never be able to love anyone properly” (pg. 215). He is referring to giving Calcifer his heart in exchange for him powering the moving castle. Because he does not have a heart, he believes that he cannot love, which is why he always breaks up with women once they fall in love with him. Once his heart is returned, he is able to be with Sophie.

What themes recur throughout the text?

One major theme that appears in Howl’s Moving Castle is confinement, both physical and mental. For example, Calcifer, a fire demon,  is confined to Howl’s fireplace due to the contract that they made in which Calcifer gets Howl’s heart, which he needs to live, and Howl gets Calcifer to power his moving castle. The other main example of confinement in this book is Sophie’s mental confinement. She is trapped by her own low self esteem and belief that she can not amount to anything because she is the oldest of three siblings and will end up taking over her father’s hat shop. This is shown when the book states that “it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. Everyone knows you will fail first, and worst, if the three of you set out to seek your fortunes.” (p.1), and “She simply felt resigned to the hat trade.” (p. 6).

Another important theme in Howl’s Moving Castle is the theme of old age. In the book, Sophie, an eighteen year old girl, is turned into an old lady by an evil witch. As an old lady, she lets go of her self consciousness and does and says what she wants, so in some ways it was a freeing experience for her, shown when the book says "as an old woman, she did not mind what she did or said. She found that to be a great relief." (pg. 41). It allowed her to acquire some of the wisdom that one acquires with old age, and when she becomes young again she keeps the wisdom and confidence that she gained while she was old.

Were the plot and subplots believable?

Since Howl’s Moving Castle is a fantasy book, the plot is not completely believable because things such as wizards and fire demons do not exist in real life, but once you look past the magical aspects of it, the plot is believable. At the beginning, it seems strange that Sophie would just suddenly leave home, but as the reader gets to know her and sees how she often makes rash decisions, or as Howl says to her, “You just never stop to think!”(pg. 319)

Where could the story go from here?

The story could easily go towards Sophie and Howl getting married. They could have their happily ever after ending, because at the end of the last chapter, everyone who lived in Howl’s Moving Castle were back together again after Calcifer being split apart from them for a short time.

What did you think of the ending?

The ending of Howl’s Moving Castle reflects greatly on Jones’ thoughts about life and the things that it has in store for you. At the start of the book, Sophie is a introverted worry wart who thinks that she is meant for nothing in life. However, by the end of the story, Sophie’s confidence has skyrocketed by leaps and bounds due to her time spent as an old woman. Enough so that she chases after the witch of the waste, risking her life- a major improvement  when you consider that she previously had stated that simply saying something silly would have caused her to shrivel “with embarrassment at the way she was behaving” (page 42). Sophie comes out of her shell, she finds love, goes on an incredible adventure, and makes a life for herself. Something, that at the start, was unimaginable for her. The ending of Howl’s Moving Castle is a testament to the fact that life is what you make of it, nothing is set in stone and you are not born into failure. You can change your life for the greater, you just have to be cursed into an old lady first.

What is the great strength -- or most noticeable weakness – of the text?

The great strength of the text is how Jones vaguely portrays the characters and other details. She uses enough imagery for you to imagine certain features but with multiple borders put up for you not to stray too far from the actual image of the characters and other aspects of the book. The most noticeable weakness of the text is the lack of depth. The lack of depth is a strength while talking about the characters, but it is a weakness when it comes to other things such as emotions. It is hard to figure out how a section of the text goes from one to the next when we are not given much data throughout both of the sections.

Does the story fit an archetype? (i.e. romance, tragedy, comedy, satire, irony). How do those “types” manifest themselves? 

Howl’s Moving Castle is a story that does not stray from cliches and it definitely falls into the archetype of irony (with a mix of romance). Irony manifests itself in a number of ways. One such way is the fact that Sophie believes her life to not be meant for important, grand things, due to the fact that she’s the eldest child and her life purpose is to take over the family hat store. However, that is exactly the opposite of what she does with her life as she sets off on an incredible life journey that includes things such as traveling to a distant world, taking down a powerful witch, and joining the royal court. It only took her turning to a very old age in order to realize that her life was not meant to be spent in a dusty old hat shop.

Another manifestation of irony takes place on a more romantic note. For example, in the first instances of Howl being mentioned he is described as an “utterly cold-blooded and heartless wizard” that “no young girl was safe from” (page 3), a statement that Sophie believes to be completely true and, in fact, lives greatly in fear of. As Sophie works under Howl, constantly in fear of the way he may have murdered young women, she eventually finds herself alone with Calcifer and Michael and is utterly astonished with the nonchalant manner in which the two boys speak of Howl’s soul-stealing-heart-eating ways. The irony in the fear that Sophie holds for Howl and his presumed human-heart-filled-diet is that, in a way, it is her that steals his heart in the end. Howl, the egomaniac, so obsessed with the color of his hair that he summons dark spirits out of depression when it’s the wrong color, Howl who believes that breaking girls hearts is a sport in which he reigns supreme, Howl who by the end of the book is described to be holding Sophie’s hand and “smiling and smiling, quite unable to stop” (page 212).