#and she’s not so out of control that she’s endangering innocent people or causing that much property damage comparatively to the Hulk

[daydreamerdrew]

The Savage She-Hulk (1980) #1

[deiaiko]

#22.1 Hostages

Khun knew he shouldn't be surprised that his team got kidnapped by Agni. It wasn't even that long after they formed an alliance.

Agni had sent him a notice for today's training plan, telling them to gather at the same place as last week. Though Khun already had a bad feeling when Agni showed up by himself. "I thought we were going to do a team activity between our team and yours?"

"We are." Agni smirked and with a wave of his hand, a lighthouse that was hovering over them came into view.

Suddenly it felt as if someone had pulled the ground out from under his feet, throwing Khun off balance and causing him to fall unceremoniously on his butt. When he regained his bearings, he no longer recognized where he was. Khun looked around to check on his team, and he should've not been surprised to see that Agni was the only one who was still standing.

Did Agni just teleport them? Khun knew that lighthouse teleportation was hard to set without proper knowledge and expensive add-ons. Plus, to be able to teleport this many people at a certain distance would need very precise shinsu control. The gap between them seemed to grow wider and wider the more Khun learned about Agni. It was frustrating.

"Welcome to our team's training ground," Agni introduced. It was an indoor training ground. The windows showed a view of clouds moving, too fast to be from a high apartment building, so they were probably in some kind of moving floating ship. Agni waited until everyone got to their feet before lowering a screen next to him. Khun's heart did a flip as he noticed Bam half-hidden behind Grace.

"Best Turtle! Black Turtle!" Rak was the one to shout and run toward them, but his snout crashed against an invisible barrier, and he fell back. Khun tensed up at the realization that they were caged up.

Agni held up his hand to pause their mumblings. "Before we start, I would like to get everyone here on the same ground."

Grace nudged Bam to stand side by side instead of behind him. There was no smile on their faces. Bam's long bangs covered his eyes like a curtain, but his hands were fidgeting nervously.

"I don't know how many of you know, but let me introduce them to you. They're FUG's newest slayer candidates; Grace and Viole."

As if on cue, Bam tucked his bangs away from his face, showcasing his golden eyes that were still as bright, but less innocent. Khun might be imagining things, but Bam seemed to be looking at him most.

It took a few seconds before Khun heard Endorsi gasping from behind him. "Wait. Isn't that Bam?!" she screeched. "Tell me I'm not seeing things."

Other than Isu, no one else in his team knew that Bam was alive. Though, Khun didn't think that Agni would actually reveal it to everyone this soon. Didn't FUG go into all that trouble to take Bam away? So with this information out in the open, would it endanger Bam? His team?

"That is indeed him," Isu said bitterly.

"But isn't he…?" Hatz trailed off. "How?"

"His death was faked," Grace told them, emotionless. "Rachel pushed him to his 'death'."

Endorsi cursed, "And how exactly do you know about this?! You were involved, weren't you? That's why you suddenly disappeared."

Agni cleared his throat before Grace could refute. "Regardless of who was at fault, Viole is now one of FUG's slayer candidates."

Forced to be one. Khun corrected mentally. Because he was an irregular. 

"To keep Viole and Grace as part of FUG, you are kept as hostages against them, and they were prohibited from meeting you. However, I made a new deal with FUG. And that's why you can see them today. Of course, on one condition–" Agni raised a finger– "that as long as Viole and Grace are loyal to FUG, FUG will leave you be. If this deal is broken by Viole and or Grace, FUG will come after you. But if FUG breaks the deal by targeting you, Viole and Grace are allowed to go against that faction of FUG that started it. However, they will still be FUG's slayer candidates whether the deal was broken or not, as that was their promise so that they could get in touch with you."

"It doesn't sound fair." Hatz unsheathed his sword. "Bam, tell us that you were forced into this!"

Bam didn't respond, but he looked away from them. The sight made Khun’s chest tighten in guilt; From letting Bam live this kind of life. From giving up and believing that he had died. From failing to anticipate that outcome back on the second floor.

However, Hatz was taken aback by Bam's reaction. "...Grace?"

Grace raised his eyebrows as if not expecting any questions directed at him, but he was firm with his decision. "I chose this. I know you all must be upset for multiple reasons, but believe me that this is the best outcome we could have for everyone."

Agni looked over at them again. "As I told you earlier, this is all just to get us on the same ground. You have no say in this deal."

Bam nodded, more certain this time. "I have agreed to it."

That silenced them. Khun wanted to argue, but he bit his tongue, sensing from the odd tension from their hosts that there was something more to this.

"Now that we've told you about it, you have to make your choice. If you want to be in contact with them, you’ll have to accept their status as it is now." Agni seemed to have stated this specifically to Khun, Ran and Endorsi, as they were from one of ten great families and a Jahad's princess. "Or you can cut ties with us and not be involved in our deal."

"I just want to climb with Best turtle and Black turtle!!" Rak kicked the barrier with his clawed feet. "Why are you making it so difficult!!"

Khun already knew his answer long before he was asked. "I agree. I know what I signed up for the moment Bam told us that he was an irregular. No way I'm letting him go again." He couldn’t care less about Grace. But because Bam liked to have Grace around, he figured they’d come in a package.

To his surprise, Agni smiled at them both. Not his usual smug smile, but more gentle and mild. Though it was still getting on his nerves.

Shibisu stepped forward, standing closer to the barrier. "There are far worse things that could've happened than having FUG as an acquaintance. I can deal with it. But I will still take my teammates' decision into consideration."

Hatz sheathed his sword back. "Grace and Bam are my friends. They accepted me as I am, so it's only natural that I respect their choices."

"I honestly don't care if they're from FUG or not, as we've never met before." Ran shrugged. "But if A.A. choose them so then why not; interesting things keep happening around him."

Khun mentally reserved a punch to that chibi's head when they got back.

"I'm also just tagging along," Anaak spoke up. "I'm already an enemy of Jahad anyway. Going up with FUG won't affect me that much."

Endorsi crossed her arms and raised her brow, "I don't see why it's suddenly such a huge deal. I would have left my niece a long time ago if I was scared to be a traitor of Jahad."

It was brief, but Khun caught Grace and Agni exchanging glances. He didn't know what to make of that.

"Very well," Agni flicked his fingers and the barrier dissipated.

Rak immediately took off running and tackled Bam and Grace, holding them as much as his arms could reach. The brunets hugged him back. Khun found himself already walking at them, but he stopped himself at just enough distance from Bam to not make it too obvious how much he missed him. Eventually, everyone joined the reunion, and hugs and handshakes were exchanged.

Since they were still in the enemy's territory, Khun knew better than to let his guard down. So he still observed Agni from his peripheral vision, and immediately noticed the moment Agni turned his head to the side and talked in hushed voice, "Does their answer satisfy you, sir?"

A shadow in the hidden corner took form into a man, and his presence immediately alarmed everyone in the room. Khun felt his blood run cold as he noticed that the man was none other than Jinsung Ha. From behind, Khun heard Hatz whisper anxiously, "Isu, that's him!"

The man's heavy stare fell all over them before he looked at Agni, and then at Bam and Grace. "They're all really something." The man blew out smoke from his cigarette. "But I don't see anything special about them that's worth the trouble."

Khun bristled at that, but he could only bite his tongue in fear. To think that Agni, who was clearly also a Khun, could interact with Jinsung Ha like this…was something Khun wasn't sure he would dare to.

Grace raised his eyebrow and gave the man his most unimpressed stare, while Bam looked at the man with his puppy eyes. After noticing their reactions, the man glanced at Agni, and then suddenly shifted his focus to Khun, which almost made him jump. Khun shuddered when the man started laughing. 

"Ah. Of course, of course." The man walked up to Agni and patted his shoulder. "I will take your word for it. They better not disappoint."

Agni smiled with confidence, "That I can promise you, sir."

"Very well, I will leave you kids to your game then." The man walked past him into the corridor, waving his hand in dismissal and not looking back. "Until we meet again."

Grace and Bam bowed a little at the parting figure, and replied with a renewed vigor. "Take care, Master!"

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[samusugi]

I don’t consider myself “anti-zutara” and I don’t hate anyone that ships it. However I do feel weird towards it being a ship involving a (former) colonizer and someone from a tribe his nation colonized/oppressed (especially when their first meeting is him is him trying to attack her village) Because of this I feel especially weird over Zutara fans on here painting it as the ship that should’ve happened, or paint Kataang as a one sided fantasy and painting Aang as terrible to Katara, but Zuko as so caring and loving towards her… especially when Zuko endangered her life so many times like

-during book 1 where he hunted Aang, and thus her and Sokka as well, down relentlessly

-the season finale of book 2 where he betrayed her, even after she was willing to open up to him about her trauma and even heal his scar, sided with Azula and almost got both her and Aang killed

-book 3 where he literally hired a nearly invincible mercenary to hunt them all down in which the gaang barely all escaped with their lives the multiple encounters they had with him…

Zuko stealing Katara’s mother’s necklace, her last keepsake from her, and using it as leverage against her. Zuko also being a part of the Fire Nation’s Royal Family, the very one that caused a great deal of harm to the Southern Water Tribe in wiping out all of their waterbenders and killing Katara’s mom… the very nation that she said she couldn’t stand wearing their clothes?? I don’t understand why people would think that she would be willing to marry into that just because she and Zuko eventually found common ground.

Many of the criticisms I see of Aang are vaild, but many others are just completely misrepresenting him. One I see commonly is of Aang telling Katara that she shouldn’t take revenge on Yon Rha and that being proof of him being controlling? When the whole point of him trying to dissuade her from it was to protect her from crossing the line of letting vengeance consume her. Do we not remember that Aang had personal experience in this in dealing with the Sandbenders who stole Appa, the last remaining living thing from his culture, one that he’s been connected with since he was a young child? He knows personally that he could’ve gone too far and how detrimental it could’ve been. People use Aang bringing up Jet as a terrible thing, when he was just mentioning how Jet let himself become consumed by vengeance and how that almost caused him to go too far in taking lives even innocent ones. And in the end, Aang still wanted Katara to make her own choices and even allowed her to take Appa to go to find Yon Rha. But I just don’t understand how Zuko’s actions in pushing her to try and get revenge are considered fine, but Aang trying to dissuade her from acting recklessly isn’t especially when we see that throughout the entire episode, Katara was acting incredibly out of character: she was bloodbending (something she swore not to do again because of how terrible it made her feel), she accused Sokka of not loving Kya like she did (when he went through the same trauma of losing her), all things she would never do in the right mind.

As for the shipping itself, I don’t understand why Kataang is painted as a one sided romance that was just Aang pushing Katara till she accepted when she was getting jealous of attention he was receiving in episode 3, was suggesting that they kiss in the cave of two lovers and got mad when she thought Aang was making it out to be gross, literally threatened to kill Zuko if he were to endanger Aang’s life, specifically, again. (The criticisms of Aang forcing a kiss on her during the Ember Island Players episode are however valid and that scene was really uncomfortable to watch.) While the ship isn’t perfect (and I’m not some kataang superfan), I don’t understand why Zutara is painted as something that would be far better when

1. Zuko endangered Katara’s life multiple times even up to when he was trying to join the Gaang with hiring the Combustion Bender to hunt them

2. As I stated earlier, Katara would be marrying into a family that literally ordered the genocide of her people which caused the death of her mother.

3. Katara and Zuko both never even once hinted that they had romantic feelings for each other??

It just feels weird that people paint Kataang as Katara settling for less and Zutara as having the happy ending she deserved (especially since the Fire Nation wasn’t perfect after Zuko became Fire Lord and even had many notable Ozai supporters as well?? Like putting Katara in that situation as a member of the tribe that was targeted and made victims of a genocide for what, close to 100 years? would just be putting her in direct danger of those people) and fans who say that Katara was simply a prize for Aang while insisting that Katara should’ve instead been a prize for Zuko confuse me even more.

Zuko’s redemption is one of my favorites in fiction and he was also a victim of the Fire Nation, but I feel him being able to be on good terms with Katara and the Gaang in general was enough. Him becoming a love interest for Katara, considering all of the trauma she had from the Fire Nation, would be too much.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

IDK if your taking requests 🥺👉👈 But if it's open... Could you maybe write an imagine with chishiya, where Niragi trys to get under his skin by making chishiya's s/o uncomfortable 😱

Cruel Entertainment | Shuntaro Chishiya (ft. Suguru Niragi)

{AIB Masterlist}

Summary: Niragi scares you and Chishiya gets defensive

Warnings(s): murder, blood, threatening, swearing, Niragi being a murderous bastard (as usual)

Word Count: 1.8k

*reader is gender-neutral

(A/N): this went down a more different plot than this, but this scenario is a element of it

“Look I don’t mean to complain, but this seems really unnecessary,”

All eyes in the meeting room turned to your figure sitting on the edge of the table. The silence that followed your statement felt personal, making you frown slightly at the annoyed faces that the militants seemed to hold.

Aguni had suggested the executives and the militants comes together for a meeting in order to discuss moving some militants up further on the number tags. 

“How is this unnecessary Y/N?�� Aguni spoke up, leaning forward on the table and resting his arms. His dead eyes met yours down the other head of the table, making you grow slightly nervous at the number of eyes that were on you.

Before you spoke up, your eyes flickered towards that of Chishiya’s, your boyfriend. When he caught your glance, he lifted a subtle hand to his throat and gave a gesture to tell you to be quiet.

Ever since Hatter had died and Aguni had taken over, your right to speak your mind had been diminishing, but you weren’t going to give it up as easy as the others seemed to have.

You gulped before turning back to Aguni, deciding to ignore Chishiya’s advice. If no one else had the tits to say something, then you would.

“Why are you moving your militants to a higher ranking? Everything was going fine until you came into power,” you started, keeping a stoic expression on that heavily contradicted your inner emotions.

Aguni raised an eyebrow and looked towards the right side of the table, where his second in command Niragi sat. The imperious man smirked at cocked an eyebrow at your words, making you feel uneasy.

“Is that so?” Aguni spoke in a creepily deep tone and leant back from the table, resting in his chair.

You nodded, keeping eye contact. “Don’t listen to me or whatever Aguni, but we don’t exactly know what will happen when we collect all the cards. I know you’d hate to admit it, but I think moving the numbers for your murderous ‘besties’ so they can escape the Borderlands quicker isn’t your intention here.”

You swore you were suffocating on the air in the room. You could smell the tension between your words and the rest of the executives. It was making Chishiya’s leg shake underneath the table and his eyes roll into the back of his head at your naiveness.

Furthermore, without your knowledge, to Niragi, your forehead seemed like a perfect target at that moment.

“Y-you know, Y/N has a point,” a young girl voiced up, making all eyes shift off of you for a quick moment. She sat a few seats down, holding her head slightly low and speaking in a quiet voice. “Perhaps we should vote on things rather than just immediately putting them in place though. If we do that, The Beach would be more democratic.”

You silently thanked her in your head and turned back to Aguni, but his stoic expression didn’t seem to change.

“Alright,” he said casually as he stood up. Looking over the table and the people at it, all silent, he spoke up. “Anyone that agrees with Y/N, raise your hand high.”

You glanced around the table with a slightly desperate look in your eye, hoping at least someone put their hand up. After a few tense seconds, the young girl who spoke put her hand up, followed by a middle-aged man sitting to the right of you and a few others.

You looked at Chishiya, not knowing what to do. He had himself tucked further in his white hoodie, hair hiding his eyes and trying to look as invisible as possible. He gave you a warning stare, shaking his head ‘no’ towards you.

You frowned, confused that he wasn’t contributing. Usually, he wouldn’t hesitate to stir some drama up between the executives and the militants, so it was out of character for him.

Furthermore, the lack of agreements from other executives like Ann and Mira was throwing you off. Knowing their good nature, they wouldn’t allow everything that Hatter had built to suddenly fall to murderous men. They kept their heads low, just like Chishiya, playing with their hands and trying to be as uninvolved as possible.

And soon enough, you realised why.

“Fine,” Aguni said, eyeing the four people that put their hand up in favour of you. You didn’t know too many of them personally, as they hadn’t been at The Beach for long. They were either high ranking players or random contributors to the executives.

“Niragi?” Aguni said, nodding towards the tall male.

Niragi hummed in acknowledgment and stood up quickly, not wasting a second before aiming his rifle towards the young girl and firing.

The blast of blood that fell onto your face made you freeze, realising what you had done.

“WAIT!” you screamed, standing from your seat and screaming towards Niragi. But your cry did nothing as he turned towards the man next to you and fired once again.

You ducked in fear that he was aiming at you, falling to the floor. The sound of bullet meeting bone filled your ear, and you glanced to the side to see the limp body of the man, eyes wide and hole in his bloodied forehead.

The rest of the people that voted in your favour had either dropped their head to the table in defeat or had done the same as you and fallen to the ground to hide behind the table, but Niragi stopped firing once he was sure the man was dead.

You stood from the ground and sat back down in your chair, eyes wide and breathing heavy. You could feel your heartbeat in your head, and your hands shook violently. You attempted to hide it by lacing your fingers together and squeezing, placing them on the table.

You didn’t dare look towards Aguni but glanced towards Chishiya towards the other end. He held wide eyes and shaking hands, staring at you and putting his index finger to his lips in a gesture to make you stay quiet. You nodded lightly.

Niragi let out a loud laugh and stepped out from around his chair, making his way towards you down the end of the table. You didn’t dare move.

“See what happens when you speak your mind!” he exclaimed, coming up behind you and placing a harsh hand on your shoulder. You jumped at the sudden impact and your eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

Not being impressed by your lack of reaction, Niragi gripped your hair and pulled your head back so you made eye contact with him. He leant forward over you, looking you dead in the eyes as you yelped from his harsh hold on you.

“Maybe, you should learn to shut the fuck up for once kitten,” he growled into your face, making you cringe from his hot breath on your skin. “That mouth of yours could get you in a lot of trouble.”

Chishiya shook in his seat, hand gripping the end of the table harshly at the sight of his S/O getting tormented. A million thoughts were racing through his mind, trying to think of something that he could do to help you but not endanger anyone else.

He looked towards Niragi, noticing the dark-haired man’s eyes flicker towards him from you. Just as he did so, he noticed Niragi running a hand down the side of your neck, making you flinch heavily. The humiliation of this happening in front of your peers was unbearable, more so in front of Chishiya.

“Niragi,” the blonde stood up, having had enough. Niragi pulled himself away from you, looking towards Chishiya’s tense body with a smirk on his face.

“It’s okay, you can leave them alone,” Chishiya said with a monotone tone, trying to seem calm. “They’ve learnt their lesson.”

The mere sight of seeing the murderous man near you was enough to make Chishiya’s heart rate quicken. Although he doesn’t seem it, he’s a very nervous person, especially when it came to your safety.

Niragi doesn’t move, contemplating what he should do as he kept a firm grip on your shoulder. You were frozen beneath him, wincing at the growing strength he was applying to your collarbones.

He let go, allowing you to let out a large breath. “Fine, save your little toy then Shuntaro,” he grumbled in annoyance and moving back to his seat. He knew that if he had a bigger scene than it already was in front of Aguni, he could perhaps lose his control as second-in-command.

You held your head down in humiliation, not daring to look up for the rest of the meeting, not even towards Chishiya, who was trying to get your attention to check that you were okay. After that shit-show, you made sure not to attract unwanted attention.

After the meeting, you didn’t even get a chance to stand up properly before Chishiya grabbed your hand and dragged you out into the hall. He pulled you towards an open balcony to escape anyone else that was around before turning around and facing you.

“Let me see you,” he demanded, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Your neck. Did he hurt you?” he asked frantically while pushing your chin up to look at the skin on your neck to see if there were any bruises. You shook your head and pushed his hands away.

“I’m fine Chishiya,” you insisted. But the way that you stared at the ground wasn’t convincing.

“...I killed them... didn’t I?” you croaked out, fiddling with the skin of your hands. The blood from the two innocent people Niragi had murdered was stained along your skin, making you feel physically sick. You almost wished Niragi had just shot you instead of the other two. It was you who spoke up anyway.

Chishiya sighed heavily and brought his hand to your face, holding your cheek in his palm. You felt slight tears run down your face, causing you to quickly wipe them away.

“Y/N, people are always going to die. You can’t stop it,” he said, running his thumb across your cheekbone. “That wasn’t your fault. They had the choice to not put their hand up.”

You nodded, trying to convince yourself it’s not your fault.

“But for now, we need to focus on our own safety,” Chishiya said, making you shift your gaze from the ground to his eyes. “We need to make sure we’re prepared to leave if any of the militants come after us within the next few days.”

Chishiya held your face in both of his hands and brought your lips together for a quick kiss, making more tears fall from your face at the comforting feeling of his warmth.

When he pulled away, he gave a sad smile and pulled you in for a hug, tucking your face into his shoulder by pushing on your head. “Make sure you stay by my side. Don’t worry, I won’t let Niragi get anywhere near you.”

(A/N): I’m sorryyyyy i know this isn’t that good. i rly need to rewatch some aib again cause it’s been ages since i last watched anything from it alsjldkajslja

[fictionadventurer]

Turns out that Sense and Sensibility and superheroes offers a lot of opportunities for thematic exploration, because there are a lot of paired characters whose perspectives parallel or contrast each other. And I do not want to write the story because nothing is settling into, you know, actual concrete details, and trying to do so would be complicated, but that's not going to stop me from making a post about all the potential themes in play here.

Self-expression vs. self-control. Marianne believes that to be their full selves, superhumans should be able to use their powers to the fullest possible extent. Elinor, who has actual hero experience, has seen that this belief leads people to go on supervillain sprees that hurt a lot of people, so she values control. As Elinor's powers are growing and she's getting into situations that spark wilder displays of power, she fears losing control, and that's secretly a big reason she steps aside from hero work. Marianne has to learn that controlling herself isn't repression, but being her fullest, mature self, while Elinor has to learn that hiding her talents isn't the answer, and she has to trust herself to use her powers to help other people.

The response to grief. If we imagine that Mr. Dashwood died in an accident or supervillain attack that the girls failed to prevent, it could explain why Marianne is so eager to get into superhero work. She couldn't save her father, so she wants to make sure that she never fails to save anyone again. It could also explain why Elinor draws into herself and wants to stay close to her family--she lost her father and doesn't want to lose any time with the rest of them/wants to protect them by staying close. Maybe she thinks that her hero work is what endangered her father. And both girls have to learn not to go to extremes in taking blame or responsibility upon themselves and figure out how to respond to their grief in a healthy way.

Glory-seeking heroism vs. humble goodness. Brandon abandoned a career as a beloved superhero in favor of a life of obscurity. Marianne can't see why he'd walk away from that, and much prefers Willoughby's flashier superheroics. But as Willoughby reveals his true colors, Marianne sees that he was never a hero--he just wanted glory for himself and doesn't care about how it hurts others. Which leads her to realize that a lot of her supposed drive to save others was actually seeking glory for herself, and that there are a lot of ways to do good that don't involve becoming a well-known superhero. And Brandon helping her during her final recovery helps her to understand that, and she settles into a quieter life using her powers in humbler but more effective ways.

Adding to the above theme: I had cast Edward Ferrars as coming from a Northanger superhuman family that scorns superheroics, but what if he comes from an established family of Netherfield superhumans? His mother wants him to become a famed superhero, living up to the family legacy, and he accommodates her, but he'd prefer living a humbler life doing good in quieter ways. Elinor, in her time as his superhero partner, largely supports that wish, but by the time their character arcs are complete, Elinor and Edward wind up being in more of an active superhero role than Marianne and Brandon are. They probably work with the Mansfield students most of the time, but also have public roles helping out as superheroes, though in a lower-key Highbury first-responder-rescue way.

Superhero as warrior vs. defender. Willoughby believes that a hero is someone who defeats the bad guys and Marianne agrees with this. But Willoughby is so concerned with winning a battle that he causes a lot of collateral damage. Brandon, with his greater experience, knows that a true hero's first priority is defending the innocent, and is willing to let a villain get away for the sake of rescuing civilians. And I'd like to just generally explore the idea that a person isn't a hero because they fight, but because they defend something worth defending, and then nurture growth in the community. Debunking the action-movie idea of heroism with the Tolkien-esque heroism of characters like, say, Faramir or Din Djarin.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Gabriel Agreste: Interesting Villain, Horrible Character (400 Follower Special)

I'm honestly surprised more people didn't want me to talk about Gabriel, especially with how often I rag on how horrible of a person he is. But, three character analysis posts later, and we're going to talk about why the main villain of Miraculous Ladybug is a real letdown.

Gabriel Needs to give the Whining a Rest

The interesting thing is one of the few things I actually liked in Season 3 was Hawkmoth. His plans actually made sense (for the most part), and by playing the long game, he managed to turn Chloe against Ladybug and deprived her of several key allies. Granted, Season 4 immediately undid the latter, but I was still impressed by his strategy.

Generally, one of the better aspects of Gabriel as a character was just how over the top he was as Hawkmoth. Keith Silverstein is clearly giving it his all with his performance, and he is just so enjoyable to watch as a cartoonish supervillain.

And therein lies the first major problem with Gabriel as a character. While he is fun to watch as a simple supervillain, the show tries to give him more depth and unintentionally makes him worse.

In Season 2, when it was revealed that Gabriel was Hawkmoth, many fans speculated on what he needed the Miraculous for, until the Queen Bee Trilogy showed it was to save his possibly dead wife, Emilie. The idea of that is so the show can give more depth to its main villain, and I think it's an interesting idea in concept. After all, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The problem is just how radically different Gabriel is normally compared to how he is as Hawkmoth. He always goes on about how he's “doing this for Emilie”, but it's hard to really sympathize with him when you consider he constantly gives evil monologues and evil laughs, really getting into the supervillain role. And let's not forget all of the “I'm going to wear Ladybug's skin as a suit” faces he loves to make.

Clearly this man is the picture of mental stability.

Gabriel's motivation for being Hawkmoth when compared to what he actually does as Hawkmoth is shady enough, but the thing is that the writers clearly want the audience to at least feel a little bad for him. They want to make the audience sympathize with him despite the way he acts with or without the mask. Without Miraculous Ladybug, he is routinely putting innocent lives in danger and never once shows regret for his actions. All he talks about is how “he's doing this for Emilie”, or that “he'll get their Miraculous soon”. There's no real reason to feel bad for him other than “because the script says so”.

Let's compare Gabriel to Malcolm Merlyn from Arrow. His big plan in the first season of the show is to create a machine that will cause an earthquake to destroy a crime-infested portion of Starling City, claiming to be trying to help everyone, but it's clear he is only doing it out of revenge for his wife getting killed by a criminal from that part of the city. In addition, throughout that season and future seasons, he always makes sure his plans lead to him benefiting in some way, showing he isn't just some noble man trying to achieve his goals with a less than noble method.

If we got some moments that showed that what Gabriel was doing was selfish, it would make him a more complex villain. But we don't get anything like that. What do we get instead? Well...

I Could Really Care Less About Emilie Agreste

We have known Gabriel's motivation has been to save his wife for a little over two years at this point, but at the same time, it's hard to believe that motivation because of how underdeveloped Emilie is as a character.

There have been a total of two lines in the entirety of the show that explain what happened to Emilie, and they're both vague as hell. One of them was from “Feast” that implied Emilie used the broken Peacock Miraculous.

Adrien: My mom used to have dizzy spells… just like Nathalie.

And the other that outright tells the audience what's happening to her in a clip show that most people will skip.

Nathalie: As I've watched Emilie falling deeper into an endless sleep, my sadness for her has deepened, too

That is literally all we get for an explanation, and nothing else. We have no idea of what she's like as a person or what her relationship with her family was like other than Gabriel and Adrien saying they miss her. Other than the way the narrative says she's important to Gabriel and Adrien, we don't really have a reason to care about her as a character. There have also been some lines that imply she went along with Gabriel's questionable parenting techniques, like how he was apparently only homeschooled as a kid (Origins) and never had a birthday party growing up (The Bubbler), so how do we even know if she's a good person? In fact, why not set up this question as a mystery to make the audience wonder if Gabriel has another reason to bring Emilie back?

It ultimately turns Emilie into a plot device and not a character that Gabriel and Adrien only bring up to make the audience feel bad for them, and meant to justify Gabriel's actions by saying that he's “doing this for his family”.

But hey, if he's doing this all for his family, surely Gabriel's redeeming traits come from his relationship with Adrien, right? Right?

As a Parent, Gabriel is Far From the Best

I've talked about this briefly before, but parenting in Miraculous Ladybug is written in such a black and white way, even by the standards of this show. Parents are portrayed in one of two ways. They're either amazing people who love and support their children unconditionally, or they're awful people who treat their own children like trash. And much like a lot of things in this show, there are times where the latter is treated like the former.

There are so many times where the narrative insists on making you see Gabriel as a troubled, but wellmeaning person who tries his best to be a good parent to Adrien, but it is far from the truth.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Gabriel is a terrible parent. Like, he is awful at being a parent in so many ways, even before you find out he's Hawkmoth. In his first appearance, “The Bubbler”, he delegates getting Adrien a birthday present to Nathalie, his assistant. He literally can't be bothered to take time out of his schedule to get his own son a present for his birthday. And as the show goes on, he becomes more controlling and forbids Adrien from going out with his friends in other episodes (Captain Hardrock, Silencer). While this could be used to show Gabriel getting worse, it's never acknowledged in-universe, with Adrien continually defending his father essentially keeping him on house arrest.

“But IOTA!” You might say. “Gabriel has made efforts to bond with his son in some episodes.” While that might be true, most of those come right after his Akumas have almost gotten Adrien killed. He only hugged Adrien and made an attempt to learn more about him after Simon Says invaded their home, he only decided to watch that movie Emilie was in with Adrien after Gorizilla nearly dropped him off a building, and he only hugged Adrien again in public after he was turned into a gold statue by Style Queen.

In fact, let's talk about how Gabriel acts in the Queen Bee Trilogy. He actually decides to quit being Hawkmoth, but it's not because he realizes all the damage he's caused. Instead, he gave up because his “magnum opus”, a stronger than usual Akuma that only got the advantage on Ladybug ironically because of dumb luck, failed. Sure, he says he can't keep putting his son in danger, but he rarely ever acknowledges that he does so in the first place. When Riposte wanted to fight Adrien, Hawkmoth did nothing to stop her other than giving her a stern warning earlier on and nothing else. Where was this attitude earlier?

Hell, even then, he immediately goes back to being Hawkmoth as soon as he sees an opportunity, not even a day after his “mAgNuM oPuS” blew up in his face (because I guess Scarletmoth was just Plan B). If he made such a big deal about caring for his son, why didn't he try harder to spend time with him? Has he ever had doubts about what he's doing before? If Chloe didn't show up as Queen Bee, was he going to follow through on his promise and try to be a better father to Adrien instead of trying to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous?

And yeah, the whole irony is that Gabriel is doing this for his family when he is unknowingly fighting his own son, which could lead to some interesting drama if done right. The idea of how Gabriel would react to his son being Cat Noir could really lead to some internal struggles for him to go through. But then we got “Cat Blanc”, which shows just how terrible of a character Gabriel is.

In an alternate timeline where he found out his son was Cat Noir, what does Gabriel do? Does he try to steal Adrien's Miraculous while he's sleeping? Does he reconsider his actions or realize he was endangering Adrien's life?

NOPE! He just decides to akumatize him all while emotionally tormenting him, before causing the end of the world.

This is honestly one of the most appalling things I've ever seen in any TV show, because it's basically an abusive father ordering his son to listen to him all while referencing his (kind of) dead mother to back up his point. And rather than use this to show how despicable Gabriel is, the episode decides to blame Marinette for this happening. Yes, according to the show, her present to Adrien caused several events to happen which caused Cat Blanc, but this logic makes no sense. It's like blaming the JFK assassination on the man who sold a gun to Lee Harvey Oswald, instead of, you know, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Not only was this episode yet another excuse to blame Marinette for something that wasn't her fault, it leads into the biggest problem I have with Gabriel as a character.

Sympathize with Gabriel? Surely, You Jest

After everything I've gone over regarding Gabriel as a character, after all the awful things I've talked about, are you really surprised that I don't feel bad for him at all?

Gabriel is just an awful character and a despicable human being, but the show just keeps wanting me to feel bad for him. It's just so hard to when you consider everything he's done has made him anything but sympathetic. I'm just saying, it's kind of hard to feel bad for someone who tries to start World War III with the only justification being “i'M dOiNg It FoR mY fAmIlY”, especially when he treats his family like crap.

The writers go out of their way to show how horrible Gabriel is as Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth, but they think because they throw in a few moments where he looks conflicted, we'll immediately feel bad for him. What makes so many people interested in seeing Chloe become a better person is that they can tell she's the victim of a troubled upbringing, and know that because she's only a teenager, she still has room to grow as a person, represented by having more honest moments of vulnerability. Gabriel is a grown man who once caused the apocalypse because of how terrible of a parent he is, and has even fewer sympathetic moments than Chloe does. Which one of these two is supposedly irredeemable? The answer may surprise you.

But the frustrating thing is that this kind of villain could have worked. Instead of making him this mustache-twirling psychopath, show how much Gabriel regrets what he has to do, but keeps pushing onward despite all the lives he's risking if it means that he can save his wife. Instead of making Gabriel like Lex Luthor, make him like Mr. Freeze, who is basic a better written version of him.

But as it stands, there's a good reason why Gabriel gets little to no respect as a character in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom, as a villain, or as a father.

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Anon, you can't pull the teenager card when those teenagers inserted themselves into a major world conflict and ACTIVELY MADE THINGS WORSE. RWBYJNOR decided they were qualified to make important decisions, so they should be held responsible when those decisions cause problems. They chose to lie to Ironwood, give military secrets to a stranger and criminal, and blame Ironwood for systemic issues (some that existed before he was born) because he couldn't fix them instantly. It's not about "accommodating a grown man's issues" (and that's a statement with... a lot to unpack on its own), its about how much RWBYJNOR's behavior contributed to this shitshow.

You wanna talk about "actively endangering people" and deciding "my way or the highway"? Look at the main characters. They dragged the man LEADING their fight through his trauma and drove him to isolate himself. They told the person that kept them alive and has also been in this fight longer than they have "shut up and get out of the way or beat it" because he tried to talk them out of committing a crime for no reason (not to mention they DREW A GODDAMN KAIJU to a CIVILIAN POPULATION because their plan backfired). And then they decided another person was untrustworthy after stabbing him in the back because they disagreed with him (and only because they disagreed with him. Remember, RWBYJNR didn't know about Ironwood going all Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy Shootin' II on Sleet and Oscar).

You wanna talk about how Ironwood could have compromised? RWBY didn't even ATTEMPT to say "our goals differ so we should work out a way to do both, or do our own thing" Nope, let's escalate things instead. Ruby told Ironwood she would stop his plan to save who he can because she disagreed with it. The solution was RIGHT THERE IN HER FACE, but she ignored it because she wanted to be idealistic (well, that's the Watsonian excuse. The Doylist explanation is simply "drama"). And if you want to place the burden of compromise solely on Ironwood after Ruby clearly stated her intent to stop him, then I don't know what to tell ya.

It’s such an insane claim to make because they all ACTIVELY CHOSE to get involved they decided they where mature enough to make these decisions. They forcibly inverted themselves into the plot they cannot now go and say that they’re too young to make these decisions. They chose this, they knew the danger and knew what was at stake but decided they knew best anyways. The narrative tries to make it as though they never mistake despite repeatedly showing them making some pretty major mistakes that the show just pretends aren’t a thing or tries to shove on James.  "accommodating a grown man's issues" yea that’s a lot to unpack but uh let’s just throw out the whole suitcase instead. 

It’s kind of funny in a painfully sad way how much endangering the mains do and try to blame other people for. Steal an airship after sabotaging public communications and attacking military forces causing a massive Grimm to attack a populated city and potentially get a lot of soldiers killed from all the grimm that attacked? Blame Cordovin for not letting them in despite them being complete strangers and not even being citizens. Punch out an innocent kid after dragging out someone else’s severe trauma and force them to relieve it despite begging on their hands and knees in tears for them not to. Blame Ozpin for being a liar. Leak secret military plans to someone actively attacking the military whom they know nothing about thus gravely endangering the project? Blame Ironwood because he’s not trustworthy enough to have earned their trust despite doing a lot to earn said trust. Get captured by the military after they snuck into a kingdom illegally and refused to respond to air control? Ironwood is clearly being shifty and untrustworthy and hurting Mantel with his too harsh rules. Just time and time again after they’re being faced with the consequences of their actions they try and blame someone else rather then accept they messed up. 

You know what’s really sad? We’ve seen James is willing to compromise and listen to others when they actually have some semblance of a plan to work off of (See volume 2 when James let Ozpin send a historian and four first years after the White Fang). The issue isn’t James wasn’t willing to listen its RUBY didn’t have another plan and threw a temper tantrum because James didn’t have a better plan and James, being triggered and scared to death of Salem, decided it was best to save who he knew he could and let his people live to fight another day rather then risk everything to save everyone. Even after declaring her intent to stop him and save everyone, she sits around a mansion crying because everything is too hard and she can’t make a decision. I really don’t know how else to say this, if they don’t want to listen that’s on them. 

[amaterasususanno]

WangXian - How the siege could (should) have ended

Disclaimer: I do not own the copyrights of Mo dao zu shi/the untamed. All rights reserved by their respective owner

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Summary:

Wei Ying cares for the Wen remnants. He desires to protect them.

The world wants Wei Ying and the Wen's gone.

In consequence: The siege could never have been avoided.

But: Wei Ying's story could still have been another one.

Rating: M [To be safe]

Status: Complete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31961272/chapters/79156201

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Since the day Wei Ying had confronted the different sects as they had planned his demise, the dark energy swirling around burial mount had grown several times heavier and harder to control – even though it had only been a few weeks.

Even Wei Ying himself could nearly not stand it anymore.

He kept seeing heart wrenching visions and haunting nightmares. His ears were filled with the wails of the dead. He could hear them pleading him to spare their lives. He could hear them cursing his name. He could even hear their blood rushing out of their bodies as the corpses he commanded ripped them to shreds.

Whenever he closed his eyes, he would see the murders he chose to commit – his acts as ‘war hero’ during the sunshot campaign, like the torturing and murder of worthless men like Wen Chao – and those he failed to prevent himself from causing – the murder of Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli and probably half of all his later kills, to be honest.

Only now did he understand that he had started to lose his senses somewhere along the path he had chosen.

He had believed to be in control of everything, but looking back, maybe he had already started going insane when he was first thrown into the abyss of the burial mount. He had just always been held back somewhere along the borders of being a genius before he could turn into a full-blown madman.

But now? What was there to ground him?

The sunshot campaign was over, Jiang Cheng wanted him dead just like everyone else, his shijie was dead – she had been slaughtered to save him and the people who had looked at him with admiration and called him the greatest war hero of the sunshot campaign, had all turned their backs on him now that they had started to fear his power. Even Wen Qing was gone, and Wen Ning had even died a second death.

And Wei Ying himself had lost all will to make the world understand, that he would not threaten them as long as they didn’t cross him.

Especially since they already gone ahead and crossed him anyway. After all they had dared to lay hands on the Wen-siblings, who had been innocent of all of Wen Rouhans’ crimes. They had even dared to continue trying to fault him for anything that went wrong anywhere – even though he and the Wens were only trying to live a peaceful life amongst themselves.

Besides, it was not like anyone would listen to him at this point of time anyway – after all he had killed a few thousands of cultivators a few weeks back.

And maybe the truth was simply cruel as life itself: A choice had to be made – there would be either the rest of the cultivation world or him. They didn’t want to live besides him. He couldn’t live besides them any longer either.

The hatred inside him had grown to strong – it overpowered all of his senses. It was numbing him, tempting him to do all the wrong things. No, at this rate he would just end up ending all of these cultivators miserable lives.

Wei Ying rose from his bed inside the demon slaughtering cave. He needed to get the rest of the Wens away from here. He needed to at least protect them from whatever war would follow between the world and himself.

Especially considering the fact that either the major sects would come here and try to kill him – taking the Wens down along with him even though they were only weakened people – or he himself would do something stupid and would end up endangering them, dragging them down to hell with him.

As he moved towards the mouth of the cave, Wei Ying found himself stumbling more than he was walking.

His head was full of noises again. His vision was dulled, the resentful energy gripped at his heart and mind. He could feel everything clouding up again.

Maybe the stygian tiger seal was partly at fault for that. It kept attracting the dark clouds around him even though he long since couldn’t deal with them anymore.

Maybe he had really created a weapon that no one should possess – him included.

Maybe Lan Zhan had been right. With everything. Maybe he should have listened to him. But then again, he hadn’t had a choice. He didn’t have a golden core anymore. He could only walk this narrow path in the darkness now – he could only rely on the dead and their hatred.

He had forfeited his humanity when he refused to die inside burial mount.

There was a saying befitting og this. And for him it had most definitely become true. ‘You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain’.

“Are you ok?”

Wei Ying looked up, his gaze found a strange red blotch of color in front of him. He blinked, trying to focus his eyes, trying to figure out who was standing on front of him.

But right now, couldn’t even identify the speakers voice – and suddenly panic kicked in. This could be an enemy!

Quickly reaching for Chenquin, all his senses kicked into an alarmed state of needing to kill the threat. He could feel the resentful energy bundling around the flute – and usually his targets fear would join the hatred he accumulated through his technique.

But right now, there was no fear. Who in their right mind could be stupid enough not to fear him? While he was off-guard due to shock, he felt something colliding with his right leg. A very familiar weight.

“A-Yuan?”

Suddenly his mind cleared again, his eyes free of whatever fog had blocked them before, his ears no longer filled with cries and death wishes directed at him.

Quickly looking at whomever he had nearly killed off, he saw granny Wen. His stomach churned. How could he have mistaken her for a threat? Especially when her lack of fear symbolized just how much trust she had in him, how strongly she believed he would not harm her.

“Sister, granny said I should come to you! She said you were looking out of it ever since you returned here!”

Looking down at the brightly smiling child twisted Wei Yings insides around even more. He quickly put Chenquin away, pushing his guild to the back of his mind so he could pick A-Yuan up, cuddling him close – already regretting having to send him far away to protect him.

“Is that so? What else did Granny say? Did she tell you how I returned?”

Trying to smile and not show that he did not at all remember his returning here, Wei Ying cast a short glance in the direction of granny Wen.

She smiled meekly, then uttered a sudden – and obviously fake – complaint about her back hurting and left.

Wait, what had she told the kid?

“She said you walked here looking like your soul had been sucked out! And you kept mumbling about random things like revenge, wanting to burn the world to the ground, oh and you talked about brother rich!”

The happy way the child chatted about all this made it obvious that he didn’t understand a single word of all that.

In fact A-Yuan seemed to only care about his dear ‘brother rich’, he nearly immediatly went over to telling Wei Ying just how much he wanted to see ‘brother rich’ again.

But Wei Ying didn’t listen anymore. He understood why he had been talking about the end of the world, or better yet: his wish to be that cause of the said event, but why would he talk about Lan Zhan?

Trying to think back on whatever may have made him talk about Lan Zhan, he remembered only bits and pieces of certain scenes.

Lan Zhan had stood among the rows of people discussing how to kill him – so Lan Zhan must want him to perish. Seemingly punishing Wei Ying by taking him back to Gusu was no longer enough to satisfy the man.

The ugly feeling of an all-consuming hatred boiled up inside Wei Ying. Why did Lan Zhan have to be this way? He had already wanted to punish Wei Ying when everyone else had still praised him. And now that everyone wanted him dead, even that overly honorable white marble statue of a man, decided killing him would be better than punishing him? And that even though the Gusu Lan Sect forbade killing?

But of course there would be exceptions. What a hypocrite!

“-mother and father.”

A-Yuans laughter ripped Wei Ying out of his thoughts. He had to blink a few times to progress what the child had just said.

“A-Yuan- what was that just now?”

The boy smiled even broader and ripped his small hands into the air, elated as he started to talk again – not at all minding that Wei Ying had seemingly not listened.

“Granny said you and brother rich had a special relationship! She always said you are happier whenever he is around – you will smile a lot more than usually. So I thought you must like brother rich just as much as me and that is why he should visit us more often!”

Still not comprehending what that had to do with the whole mother/father thing, Wie Ying shifted A-Yuans weight onto only one of his arms, so he could poke his nose with the other.

“Don’t talk such nonsense little radish. I am always a happy person, that has nothing to do with Lan Zhan. Besides, this has nothing to do with what you said before anyway, does it?”

A-Yuan scrunched his nose up, looking like a cute little bunny – especially when he went over to covering up his nose with his little hands – all in order to protect it from future assaults.

“It does! Granny said you liked brother rich like a mommy likes a daddy!”

Wei Yings teasing fingers, which had tried to catch A-Quan off guard and poke him again, froze in midair.

Wei Yings entire face fell and went pale.

What had A-Yuan just said? And why would granny Wen even tell such things to a child? What kind of old-people-joke was this?

Lan Zhan had never even just liked him, he even wanted him dead now!

So how could Wei Ying feel anything else than the desire to defeat Lan Zhan and be as far away from him as possible?

“Besides, he is my father, didn’t you say so yourself?”

A-Yuan may have been nothing but a child, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t smart enough to see when he could get a jab in. After all the kid had always been cheeky. And smart enough to use anything anyone ever said against them.

“I never said that!”

Not even knowing why he was defending himself against a mere toddler, Wei Ying went over to displaying a complete denial.

While he did so, a scene popped into his head.

Lan Zhan was walking through the village at the foot of burial mount with them. He was buying toys for A-Yuan – which earned him the nickname ‘brother rich’ from the child.

At some point A-Yuan had been hungry and-

Wei Yings memory flashed back to how he had found Lan Zhan that day in the first place. A-Yuan had run off somewhere. He had run straight into Lan Zhan.

And being panicked and the little child he was, he had started wailing at the man’s feet, clinging to his cloths.

A crowd had gathered, commenting about how ‘fathers would often be overstrained with their first child’.

And that scene, combined with the later one of them strolling around and Lan Zhan showering A-Yuan with presents, had brough a careless sentence out of Wei Yings mouth.

“The one with the money is the father, the one with the milk the mother.” – And in the context from back then, this made him the mother and Lan Zhan the father as Wei Ying normally provided A-Yuan with food and Lan Zhan provided the child with toys on this particular day.

Wei Ying flushed – God, why had he said that back then? That was super embarrassing!

“You should forget that again A-Yuan. Just call him brother rich, ok?” Wei Ying laughed it off, feeling a bit awkward. Looking back he was actually surprised Lan Zhan had taken all that so well back then. After all with his typical Lan-wits he probably hadn’t taken as long as Wei Ying to understand what his careless words had implied. The man really seemed to have a frightening self-control.

“Does that mean I should call you brother poor?”

The child had definitely seen Wei Ying losing control of the situation. And seemingly Wei Yings mischievousness and insolence had straight off been absorbed by the child.

“Just continue calling me brother. That is enough. And no, before you start calling me brother poor again, call me mommy. At least that gives me the image of someone pretty.”

Being jokingly diplomatic, Wei Ying shook his head, offhandedly noting how his conversation with A-Yuan, even though it most certainly had been a strange one, had somehow given him so much normality that his inner demons for once weren’t to be heard or seen.

Wei Ying smiled a bit more genuinely. The power this toddler had was unbelievable. It made it nearly inhumane to think about him being somewhere completely different than at his side someday soon.

But then again, that was the only way in which the boy had a chance to live and grow into a fine – or not so fine and more troublesome if he took after him – man someday.

“Oh well, never mind. Let’s join granny and the others for now.”

What followed wasn’t exactly what Wei Ying had expected. As soon as he had brought up the topic of the Wens leaving, he was hit with a hours long storm of ‘no’s and ‘we won’t leave you behind’s. Had A-Yuan not been there, the discussion would most likely have turned into a fight.

“Wei Ying, most of us are in no condition to travel anyway.” Uncle four gave Wei Ying a shrug. “We wouldn’t make it far anyway.”

Wei Ying had wanted to disagree, but before he could open his mouth, he felt a heatwave erupting in his left sleeve.

He quickly reached inside it, pulling out a burning talisman.

His face turned dark. The defenses of burial mound had been breached.

Someone was trying to sneak in. And ‘someone’ in this case was most probably an army of cultivators.

“Leave now!” Knowing it would be too late to run now but feeling more desperate to get the Wens out of harms way than ever, he rose up, making sure to make all of the Wens understand that the mount was under siege.

“We lived on borrowed time anyway. We have no issue with dying.” Granny Wen tried to calm Wei Yings down from his frenzied state but failed.

“And what about A-Yuan! Doesn’t he deserve to live!?”

Already holding Chenquin in an iron grip, Wei Ying could feel the resentful energy flowing into his body with the intent to swallow him whole and eating him alive.

And his soul offered no resistance. He wanted the strength, that the resentful energy could give him.

He needed it.

Else the Wens would die. A-Yuan would die.

“No, you must come with us then!” A-Yuan, even though he was much too young to understand what was going on, did so anyway. It broke Wei Yings heart and at the same time gave birth to even more hatred inside his body.

How dare the renown sects act as they pleased and even traumatize a child, making it understand the cruel twists of life much sooner than nature should ever have allowed.

“I will hold them up, I will follow you afterwards.”

Even though the darkness inside of him was starting to blur the lines of reality and hallucination already, Wei Ying made a last attempt on convincing the Wens too flee.

“You will only burden me if you stay around – my abilities aren’t suited to protect, they can only destroy!”

A ringing filled Wei Yings head. He could hear the resentful energy talking to him, updating him on how fast the enemies were closing in. They seemed to be numerous, intend on trampling everything down.

Wei Ying knew they didn’t have any more time to waste.

He turned, left the Wens and rushed towards the top of the demon slaughtering caves roof.

Overlooking the situation as much as possible, he took a deep breath and pushed all the air in his lungs into his flute.

A sharp shriek erupted from the instrument.

Hundreds of corpses rose inside the mounts abysses.

The already awakened dead bodies, which hadn’t already been fighting, lunged at the enemies.

Wei Ying played an aggressive, eerie tune, knowing full well that he was forcing too much resentful energy to move around.

With his instable state of mind and most importantly: his growing self-destructive tactics, he knew all this would backfire.

He suddenly knew he would die today.

All of his restraints broke – he decided to take as many his foes with him as possible, hoping to weaken them enough to give the Wens a last chance.

He closed his eyes, gave in to the darkness, surrendering in his inner struggle, letting the darkness eat away his conscience.

No cell inside him cared about the fact that he was about to murder about an estimated another few thousands count of cultivators just to save less than fifty elderly Wens and a child.

He didn’t care about truly becoming the devil they claimed him to be.

Whatever, in that case he would die as hollowed out shell of a man. This battle would turn him into a resentful spirit, his soul would have to be subdued by destroying it since cleansing would no longer be possible. But that was fine. May they shred his body and soul apart.

He drew even more piercing tones out of his flute, patching them into an ugly version of a beautiful melody.

He could hear the metal sounds of swords and sabers cutting through corpses drawing closer – music followed right after.

It was like an awful cacophony of war.

Wei Ying closed his eyes forcefully, focusing on producing wave after wave of corpses.

Finally, he had created so many of them that he could no longer control them with just Chenquin.

In a show of pure insanity, he fished for the two separated parts of the stygian tiger seal and put them together.

The resulting shockwave of dark energy blew even him off of his spot. He tumbled downwards, crashing down into the dirt, all air was knocked out of him. He tried to regain composure, but the seal was way too powerful.

He could feel the corpses breaking free from their reigns, he lost his control over them in a lapse.

Horror-filled screams filled the air.

The corpses now attacked everything in their way – may it be an enemy or another corpse.

Realising this, common sense suddenly kicked right into Wei Yings gut. The Wens! They wouldn’t be safe with the corpses going rouge!

Just like he had struggled back then – when his sister had run onto the battlefield in hopes of stopping him – he fought to get the corpses to calm down.

He fought to get back onto his feat, fought to clear his mind enough to overpower the resentment in himself, fought to fish out the full potential inside him to revoke whatever hell he had summoned forth.

But there was only one calming thing coming to his mind. A song. A song he had never seen the sheet music off. In fact, he couldn’t even remember where he had the melody from either.

But he focused on the music in his memories and started to put a few handfuls of corpses to sleep.

He needed to reduce their numbers to prevent losing control. He absolutely had to.

Then a scream ripped straight into his soul. Granny Wen.

Dread filled him.

As he rushed to where he had heard the scream coming from, he forgot all about repressing the dark energy. The seal started absorbing more and more resentment in his hand.

He could feel it starting to twist his mind.

Shortly before he could drown in whatever dark pool the seal was trying to pull him into, he was faced with the sight of Nie Mingjue towering above a split-up group of the Wen remnants. About seven of them were lying on the ground. – dead. They had not died peacefully. All of them had gruesome slashes on their bodies. Blood pooled around them, coloring the dark earth of the burial mount crimson like the blood pool.

Rage blinded Wei Ying, his inner pain killing his sanity.

He used the stygian tiger seal.

The Wens peoples corpses rose up – attacking the Nie sect leader.

Wei Yings insanity didn’t allow him to see whatever happened to the other Wens, he could only hear that voice inside his head.

Demanding him to kill everyone who stood against him.

And he gave in, commanding all corpses to go on a bloodly murder spree.

Letting the seal take over, then letting the corpses go loose, he rushed straight at Nie Mingjue, kicking him down onto the ground.

Never had he missed his sword this much. He wanted to slit the man’s throat and let him bleed out more than anything else. He wanted him to face the pain of a sword like he had made the Wens face his saber.

But since he couldn’t fight with a sword anymore and didn’t have it on himself either, he decided to go another path – one for which he did not need a golden core.

With his free hand he grasped for sect leader Nies face, pouring an endless stream of dark energy into the man’s body.

He could Feel Nie Mingjues golden core growing corrupt inside the his body as he went into qi deviation.

Wei Ying could feel the man dying underneath him, but he didn’t stop. He wanted him dead – even if he was the older brother of a guy he had once considered to be one of his closest friends.

“Elder brother!” The call may not have addressed Wei Ying, but it warned him of the incoming attack.

Letting go of Nie Mingjue, Wei Ying jumped backwards, in a quick movement pocketing the seal and getting out his flute, lifting it to his lips.

Lan Xichen, whose original intent it had been to save his elder sworn brother, was forced to dodge the incoming rain of three corpses attacks.

“WEI WUXAIN!”

The new voice didn’t reach Wei Ying anymore, the haze around his senses had become too heavy – Wei Ying could only tell that someone had screamed something.

He however felt an attack incoming and promptly twisted his flute away from his mouth and into the way of the incoming swords strike, effectively blocking it.

The flute didn’t crack or give way.

Instead, its dark energy transferred straightly onto the weapon, running along its blade and reaching for the attackers’ golden core, wanting to corrupt it.

Jiang Chengs sense of danger warned him before he had even understood the situation fully, his golden core alarming him quickly enough. He jumped back, sheeting his sword and summoning his mothers whip.

The ring on his finger quickly transformed into a violet, crackling manifest of a lightning bolt.

Making an attempt to hit Wei Ying with Zidian, Jiang Cheng failed to pay enough attention to his surroundings – as Wei Ying dodged, the whip hit a big rock, which promptly cracked into two halves, of which one nearly immediately tumbled down towards them.

Jiang Cheng moved to the side, Lan Xichen reached for Nie Mingjue and jumped out of the way as well. The boulder hit two unsuspecting cultivators who had been further behind of them, fending off the corpses that threatened to come too close to the sect leaders.

Both of them were crushed into a paste.

Even the resentful energy all around them could patch them up well enough for them to rise up as corpses.

“Wei Ying!”

Still hearing nothing, Wei Ying lifted the flute to his lips once again, playing the attack melody he had once written for Wen Ning. The music enhanced the corpses in a hundred-meter radius of his own position. Making them faster, stronger and most of all more resilient.

”Wei Ying!”

This time the call was paired with someone closing in on Wei Ying – and that he most definitely took note off.

“There is fire!”

Now that he was aware again, he recognized uncle fourths voice.

Summoning a bunch of corpses to keep the three sect leaders in front of him busy, Wei Ying worked on finding out from where the fire was coming.

He quickly noticed it crawling up the back of the mount.

What a great strategy – the sects waves of cultivators came from the front while a fire ate away the only escapes routes the inhabitants of the burial mount had.

Trying to assess how great the danger coming from the flames was, Wei Ying looked around.

He only saw uncle forth and A-yuan.

Neither of them looking good.

“Where is the rest!?”

Dreading the response, Wei Ying rushed over to the two, taking A-Yuan from uncle forth when he hunched over in a fit of coughs.

“Slaughtered, smoked out, burned, drowned in the blood pool, or pushed down into the abyss. And I don’t have too much air left, my old body won’t be able to survive this.”

Wei Ying didn’t even try to convince Uncle forth that he would live. He knew very well that the man wouldn’t live through the night – even without the cultivators threatening his life on top of the flames smoke poisoning the old mans system.

Instead, Wei Ying clutched A-Yuan to his chest, noticing that the boy to be unconscious and running a high fever already.

Again he reached for the stygian tiger seal.

Weij Ying clutched it harshly, using the force of all the resentment in the air, that it cracked.

The crack immediately loosened large bits of the control the seal held over the corpses, making them grow even more fierce and bloodthirsty.

Wei Ying allowed the side effect of the crack, a painful backlash, to shake his body, ripping at his mind and heart.

He knew this little crack was enough to make the corpses all over burial mount run wild – feed only by resentment and not restrained in any form or kind.

Even Wei Ying himself felt the resentment taking him over more and more. But he didn’t allow it to overpower him. Not while he had A-Yuan in his arms.

Forced to watch on as uncle forth drowned in the resentment and died at its hands, he looked on as uncle forth became one of his corpses.

Giving a short whistle, Wei Ying gave uncle forth the command to protect A-Yuan and escape with him – to bring him somewhere far away and put him down at some families doorstep. Wei Ying would just hope the best from there on.

After he was sure the corpse wouldn’t defy his orders, he laid the unconscious toddler into the corpse’s arms.

A few moments later he found himself engaged in a fight with Lan Xichen.

Since his mind was still rather clear, he could easily see through all of Lan Xichens attacks. He had crossed swords with Lan Zhan often enough to know all the Lan sects preferred moves.

And mind you, Lan Zhan was much better than Lan Xichen when it came to fighting.

Lan Xichen lacked the fierce determination to come out as the victor. He was too soft. He tried to reason things out. To bad, Wei Ying didn’t feel like reasoning things out.

In fact, he managed to gain the upper hand and push Lan Xichen back more and more.

Only a little bit more and he would have him-

“Don’t move Wei Ying!”

Turning, surprised to hear his adoptive brother behind him, as he had never noticed him move there, he was even more shocked when he saw A-Yuan in Jiang Chengs grasp.

The purple clad man was holding the poor child by his ancle, letting him dangle down from his hand.

“Let go of him!” Not watching Lan Xichen in his panic, Wei Ying suffered a sidewards incoming blow to his upper arm, a deep gash ripping his flesh wide open.

He only felt a dull pain, the resentful energy had taken most of his senses out already.

His eyes stayed on A-Yuan.

“So, this kid didn’t get kidnapped by you? Is he yours?”

The way Jiang Chengs voice went from gruesome to pleased in a sickening way.

Wei Ying growled.

“Let. Him. Go. This is between you people and me. A-Yuan has nothing to do with this.”

“Shijie had nothing to do with this either!”

With that Jiang Cheng lifted the blade of his sword, pointing it at A-Yuan dangling from his other arm.

Wei Ying blackened out.

Within a split second he had lifted his flute to his lips, commanding all dead spirits of burial mount forth at once.

Vengeful spirits didn’t take as much effort to summon as corpses did, so Jiang Cheng found himself drowning in them within a heartbeats time.

He had to let A-Yuan go unless he wanted to be corrupted right on the spot.

Wei Ying rushed forwards, moving to catch the child before he quickly distanced himself from the scene, not wanting to risk his own spirit being overwritten.

As soon as he was a safe distance away, he looked at A-Yuan.

His breathing had gone from labored to shallow.

The child was dying.

And that was when Wei Ying finally lost it completely.

Now not only were all of the Wens gone, no, even A-Yuan would be dead soon. And he himself too.

And that was when it hit him. Yes, he had known he would die along, but he hadn’t had what it took to end his life right on the spot.

But now he had gained exactly that.

So may the suicidal mass murder start.

He fished out the stygian tiger seal and slammed it into the ground, kneeling down next to it – holding A-Yuan cradled to his chest.

Drawing in all the resentful energy he could accumulate, Wei Ying gathered it where his golden core would usually have been sitting.

After he was sure he had bundled enough hatred, he then proceeded to push it directly into the stygian tiger seal, intending to crush it once and for all.

He could see Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao, Su She and a bunch of other cultivators close in on him. They seemed to have gotten past the corpses.

But that wouldn’t do them any good. The spirits around Juang Cheng quickly washed over to them as well, giving Wei Ying the time he needed to execute his plan.

He only had to obliterate that evil-summoning seal. That way no one would be able to use it ever again – not him and not anyone else.

And everyone on this mount would be whipped out as side effect.

A-Yuan and he himself would perish due to the backlash of the whole affair. The rest of the cultivators, who were further away from the seal, would die due to the fierce corpses going absolutely rampant.

And the corpses that were left standing after all this was over would roam burial mount for all times, keeping everyone else away from it – that way no one could ever come here again and start to accumulate this raw evil energy, like he had done it after being dropped here.

This would be the final battle – taking out the grandmaster of demonic cultivation and all the sects who had been stupid enough to come here on this day. Or at least all the cultivators of said sects who were present.

The seal started to crack more and more. Wei Ying watched on, his eyes cold, uncaring – in the face of death he found himself calmer than ever.

Then suddenly, he saw a flash of a memory.

He saw the seals memories.

He saw the times he had used it.

He saw… Lan Zhan?

Focusing on that particular frame, he saw the battle a few weeks ago.

He saw himself going wild, loosing all sense and even consciousness as he blacked out and fought simply fueled by resentment. He saw what happened after his memory had stopped keeping track of his doings.

He had murdered nearly everyone. No surprise there.

Only a few were left standing – and even they weren’t really standing anymore.

He could see the poor few still living crawling on the bloodied ground, trying to get up as he towered above them, crushing the hand of a cultivator reaching for his sword.

Then he saw Lan Zhan.

He was limping, his usually pristine white robes were dirtied and bloodied.

His headband was slightly crooked, his hair no longer neatly styled – he no longer looked like an untouchable god. He looked… exhausted. Human.

“Wei Ying”

Lan Zhans voice was still strong, but it sounded pleading. It sounded like a ‘Please stop’.

Wei Ying saw himself, saw how he didn’t even take note of it. Saw how he was attacked once more.

And then he saw the impossible.

It wasn’t him who blocked the blow. It was Lan Zhan.

“Traitor!”

Wei Ying had absolutely no idea who that ruffled up guy was, but he seemed familiar. Su She? Maybe?

Lan Zhan remained quiet.

Wei Ying himself as well. He watched the memory, saw how his past self remained unmoving, looking like an angered corpse that was somehow still shedding tears.

“How can you defend him again! I always knew you weren’t as upright as you always acted! You court the devil by keeping that man alive!”

“No.”

The way Lan Zhan spoke made it obvious that he did not think of Wei Ying as evil.

Wei Ying couldn’t help but be surprised.

He kept on pressing down onto the seal, hoping to see the rest of the memory before the seal broke and he perished along with it.

He needed to know why Lan Zhan had been defending him.

And he did find out.

The memory progressed with Lan Zhan bringing Wei Ying from the battlefield.

Wei Ying could see how out of it he was, he could see that nothing would have ever reached him in that state, but Lan Zhan kept trying.

He was taking Wei Ying to a safe spot – a cave far away from the battle.

And as though that was not already enough, Lan Zhan started to take care of Wei Yings wounds, speaking soft reassuring words while Wei Ying kept trying to push him away, even cursing him.

But Lan Zhan tolerated it all.

And that was when Wei Ying got a glimpse of Lan Zhans eyes – in that memory he looked different.

And suddenly something clicked inside Wei Ying. Lan Zhan didn’t hate him.

But before the stone, that had been kicked into motion, could turn into a landslide, the memory showed its last scene.

Thirty three men appeared behind Lan Zhan, they demanded him to hand over Wei Ying.

Lan Zhan blocked them, even though they were clearly all elders from his clan.

He told them to step back – they did not.

He warned them not to try and touch Wei Ying – they tried.

Lan Zhan fought them all, striking them all down. In the end he said he would accept punishment for his crimes, he would go with them, but he wouldn’t let them harm Wei Ying.

Seeing how little choice they truly had, the elders accepted. Otherwise Lan Zhan could and probably would have cut them apart.

Lan Zahn faded out of the memory, just like the elders.

Tears suddenly filled Wei Yings eyes. But not because of himself.

He had been a student at Gusu Lan for long enough to know what punishment someone would get for hurting an elder and defying them.

And hurting thirty-three of them would mean thirty-three times the punishment: thirty-three lashes from the disciplinary whip.

Lan Zhan couldn’t have survived that.

Wei Yings emotions scrambled into place, finally he understood.

Lan Zhan had never accepted anyone breaking the rules, touching him or calling him by his birth name – but Wei Ying always got away with it – even if he was punished.

Still: Lan Zhan had never punished him any more severe than the rules asked for.

And back then when they had fought the tortoise of slaughter, he had refused all ideas that would have ended in Wei Ying sacrificing himself.

And much, much later, when everyone had called him a genius, a war hero, Lan Zhan was the only one who had told him off.

He was the only one who told him how much Wei Ying was harming himself.

So looking back, Lan Zhans ‘Come back to Gusu with me’ had probably never referred to a punishment.

Lan Zhan had wanted to help him.

Only an Idiot wouldn’t get that after seeing that memory.

Lan Zhan had looked at him with so much fond caring, there was no way that Lan Zhan didn’t care for him in one way or another.

Suddenly Wei Ying wanted nothing more than to see Lan Zhan and apologize.

Hopefully they would meet in death.

He pushed down onto the seal a final time, watching it crashing apart, finally giving in underneath the pressure and breaking into a million tiny pieces.

Wei Ying closed his eyes, accepting his fate with the last few tears slipping down his cheeks.

“Here I come Lan Zhan, I hope you can ever forgive me.”

When the wave of resentment came, it felt different than Wei Ying had assumed.

He had assumed it would rip his body into thousands of shreds.

He had assumed it would make him feel like he was burned and eaten alive.

He had assumed it would be an oppressive force taking all his life force from him.

But instead, all the energy crawled into his body, seeking a spot where it could be assembled and bundled – it didn’t want to be destroyed.

In consequence it didn’t destroy him either, it made him a vessel once again – like he had been before he had created the seal.

And instead of killing him off with the sheer amount of resentment that now swam around in his body, it formed something that felt like a golden core inside him.

He lived.

A-Yuan survived too. Still looking sick and weak, but breathing nonetheless.

And –

Wei Ying couldn’t believe his eyes.

Before him sat the one person he had been dying to meet.

Lan Zhan.

Ok, maybe he was dead.

“…Wei…Ying?”

Hearing the mirage in front of him speaking, Wei Ying tumbled forward, throwing an arm around Lan Zhans neck, crying into the mans neck as he pulled himself closer, nearly squishing A-Yuan between them.

“I am so, so sorry Lan Zhan, I misunderstood you – I take everything back. You were right, I was wrong – with everything. Please forgive my insolence!”

Wei Ying could feel Lan Zhan freezing up, could feel him flinch, then he felt something wet on his arm. The arm that he was embracing Lan Zhan with.

Before Lan Zhan could say anything, Wei Ying moved himself away and took Lan Zhan in.

He was only clad in sleeping wear. He was looking pale and sweaty. He didn’t smell like sandalwood like usually, instead he smelled of blood and bitter medicine. And there was blood on Wei Yings arms. Meaning that blood had to have seeped through Lan Zhan’s robe in his back and neck.

In fact Lan Zhan looked like he should be in a med bay instead of sitting around in the dirty burial mounts where his wounds could infect.

“Lan Zhan, I-”

This time Lan Zhan cut him off. “Minor wound. Don’t worry.”

Wei Ying went numb.

Wait.

The blood had come from Lan Zhans back and neck, right? Had these heartless Gusu People really whipped him thirty-three times? If so, how had he survived that?

But that much was clear as day: if Lan Zhan could bleed then he must be alive – in consequence both of them were alive. And on burial mount. During a siege on nonother than him – Wei Wuxian the cultivator who became the devil.

Wait, that actually brought forth many more questions. For example: how had Lan Zhan even gotten here? He didn’t look like he had participated in the siege after all.

Was that something the seal had pulled off? Some sort of ‘fulfilling your last wish’ joke?

“Wangji.” The shocked voice behind Land Zhan riled Wei Ying up.

How could Lan Xichen permit his brother to be punished this much and then act worried only a bit later!?

Without thinking about it, Wei Ying rose up and moved around Lan Zhan to block him from his brothers view.

“Wangji, I have already seen you. And even if I don’t know how you got here, please listen to reason and come here. You have been punished enough. Ask yourself – is this worth all your pain?”

Wei Ying was indignified at Lan Xichen ignoring him like this, but unwillingly he saw that Lan Xichen had a point in his words.

After all this was a siege against Wei Ying. And if Lan Zhan sided with him – should he ever do so – he would be taken down as well. And that was not at all acceptable.

Especially not now that Wei Ying was aware of how good and noble Lan Zhan truly was.

“Brother, Wei Ying is good.”

Wei Ying froze. Lan Zhan sounded like he was accusing his brother and the rest of the cultivators for having pushed Wei Ying into a corner – he spoke like he saw no wrongdoings in Wei Yings actions – like he believes Wei Ying was just exercising his right to defend himself and live. Like Wei Ying was just using the wrong means for the correct causes.

“Wangji!”

“I am impressed, how did you manage to twist the esteemed Hanguang-Jun like that? Since when have you two been this close?”

When Jiang Wangji stepped in, Zidian crackling in his hand, Lan Zhan stepped besides Wei Ying, showing no sign of intending to justify anything or rectify any accusations Wei Yings brother had made.

Wei Ying himself didn’t bother with his brothers’ words either. Instead, he just found himself puzzled as to why the vengeful spirits seemed to have been destroyed by the few cultivators in front of them.

They shouldn’t have been that weak.

And no one other than him should have been able to call them back – and he definitely hat not done so.

“Wangji, please.” Never had anyone seen Lan Xichen this pleading. “Return home with me. You shouldn’t let your feelings lead you onto the wrong path.”

“Not the wrong path.” Lan Zhans tone was harsh, unforgiving. “My choices.”

“Then go down with Wei Wuxian for all I care!” Jiang Cheng flicked his wrist and like a snake, Zidian shot forward.

It didn’t take a genius to see that Lan Zhan wouldn’t be able to dodge. He couldn’t block either. He had no weapon.

Without thinking Wei Ying moved, standing in between the whip and Lan Zhan, letting his back being frayed open as he faced Lan Zhan – shielding A-Yuan and Lan Zhan.

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan made a move to reach for Wei Ying to stabilize him, but with his injuries the movement was too fast, forcing him back to his knees.

It had been a wonder for Lan Zhan to be able to stand in the first place anyway.

“Wangji!” While Lan Xichen only called out for his brother, Wei Ying went down with him, hugging the other man to his chest to help him take weight off his back. A-Yuan now lying across Wei Yings legs as he kept his back turned to his enemies so he could adjust Lan Zhans posture.

“It’s enough Lan Zhan. I understand. But that won’t change my crimes anymore. I will be convicted for them, so don’t involve yourself anymore. Thirty-three lashes are enough. I know you are the most righteous person in this world, but you shouldn’t have to suffer for my wrongdoings. Please don’t let your morals cause your death.”

“Don’t act like the generous hero here!”

A second lash came in, crackling down on Wei Yings back, but Wei Ying didn’t turn. He only looked at Lan Zhan. Trying to convince him of his words.

“Sect leader Jiang, let me handle this, please.” Lan Xichen spoke up, earning a huff from Jiang Cheng but the whip-lashes indeed stopped.

“Wei Wuxian, please let Wangji go. He has suffered enough on your accord.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s soft tone shocked all present people equally – just for very different reasons.

Nie Mingjue, who seemed to have been able to avoid qi deviation, was pretty sure that Lan Qiren would go into qi diviation pretty soon too. Now that he had heard the absolute devotion in Lan Wangjis voice, he suddenly understood why Lan Wagji and Wei Wuxian had continuously fought among themselves during the sunshot campaign. He may have been a savage man in his nature, but he wasn’t stupid. He could differentiate between fights caused by being too different and fights caused by emotional involvement and worry. He now understood their relationship to be of the second nature, not the first one like the world had always assumed.

Su She on the other hand saw the man he had assumed to be incapable of producing any positive emotion, an arrogant block of ice, speak as though he was trying to convey all his thoughts and feelings in just one name. And he remembered. Back then, when the Gusu Lan disciples had fought the waterborne abyss, Wei Ying had dived down to rescue Su She from said abyss. And when Wei Wuxian had been at risk of sinking as well, Lan Wangji had swoped down and dragged them both up even though that was just abut the most dangerous thing he could have done. Su She felt his insides go cold. Seemingly Lan Wangji had been all about Wei Wuxian even back then when they were all just kids – his weakness had never been studies or fighting, it had always been another man.

Jiang Cheng surprised himself: he couldn’t help but feel jealous. He suddenly saw how his own bond with Wei Ying had broken apart while Lan Zhan had managed to stick around even though his situation hadn’t been much different for Jiang Cheng’s own. It was an eye-opener. After all Jiang Cheng had faulted his brother for everything while Lan Wangji seemed to have chosen to believe in Wei Ying. Maybe this siege could have been avoided, had he chosen to have faith in his brother and given him backing instead of forcing him to go rouge.

Lan Xichen, in comparison to all others, was the only one who went downright pale. He could see his brothers love for Wei Wuxian so clearly, that he was sure everyone else would notice it as well. On top of that he saw his brother being more than just willing to die for his love. Right here. Right now.

“Lan Zhan, please don’t do this to me. Don’t make me watch you die.”

Even more than before, the surrounding people underwent sudden enlightenment.

Jiang Cheng’s reaction was immediate. He paled. He had never known his brother to be gay.

Nie Mingjue facepalmed. No wonder had that guy always flirted with every woman but never started anything. He had already suspected Wei Wuxian to be asexual during the war, but this? Yea, that certainly explained a lot.

Su She was more extreme in his reaction. He was simply and downright disgusted. But then again, he wasn’t surprised. Looking back at how Wei Wuxian had always clung to Lan Wangji nothing else would make sense as explanation. Wei Wuxian had wasted more breaths and eye battings at Lan Zhan than all the females around them. It was still a revolting discovery though – especially when Su She thought about the fact that Wei Ying had actually seen him naked once.

Lan Xichens stomach churned for another reason. So his brothers love wasn’t one sided. But even though this wasn’t intuitive: this actually made nothing better. Wei Wuxian would find his death after all. What about his brother then?

“Wei Ying.” I was amazing how Lan Zhan managed to convey so many things with just his name. Wei Ying found himself smiling even in this situation.

“’Then don’t make watch you die’? Aren’t you just too sweet?” Wei Wuxian belatedly noticed his tongue slipping up, but as always, he couldn’t stop his tongue anymore. “Well then lets both live happily ever after with our son?”

Before anyone could react to the ‘son-comment’, a sudden burst of resentful energy washed over them.

The destroyed stygian tiger seal had set the corpses into beast-mode after all.

The onlookers of the Lan Zhan-Wei Ying-scene turned, getting ready to fight.

Wei Ying lifted his flute as well, preparing for a draining attempt at subduing the corpses while moving A-Yuan off his lap.

“Wei Ying!” Lan Zhan reached for Wei Yings wrist as he stood up.

“Lan Zhan, please let me go, I am the only one who can call them back.” Wei Ying shook his wrist lightly, but Lan Zhan didn’t let go of him.

“Will you live?” Lan Zhan looked at him seriously. His eyes intense.

“Good question, I don’t know.” Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan an easy smile, trying to keep the mood light. “But if I do nothing, we will both die. We all will.”

Lan Zhan remained unmoving at first, then he reluctantly let Wei Ying go.

“Thank you for your trust.” Wei Ying gave another smile and turned to face the corpses. He let his senses reach out and tried to sense in what areas of the mount the corpses still roamed free.

The answer was quite frustrating: Everywhere.

Taking a deep breath – drawing all the dark energy in his body outside and into his breath – he started blowing air into the instrument.

The quickest cultivators ahead of him immediately turned towards him. Nie Mingjue, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen attacked Wei Ying without second thought – assuming he was trying to aid and coordinate the corpses. A moment later Su She started playing some attack music on his gequin.

The other cultivators remained still and unmoving, still facing the front so that they could see the incoming corpses and hold them off, while the others dealt with the Yiling patriarch.

Wei Ying made no attempt to defend himself, he even closed his eyes as he continued playing a connecting melody – trying to tie the corpses energies into a single string so he could calm them all in one go later on.

But his goals weren’t visible to his attackers, so Jiang Cheng – the only one who could deal physical damage effectively from the distance – lashed out with his Zidian first – attempting to stop Wei Ying from whatever he was trying to do.

His plan didn’t work out though. Lan Zhan caught the whip without hesitation, letting his hand be seared and his body be shocked. He nearly dropped to the ground again – after all standing and fighting weren’t exactly a piece of cake after those thirty-three disciplinary whip lashes.

But he remained standing, showing the incoming attackers a straight up glare for daring to attack his beloved one.

In the end, Lan Xichen was the one who saw that his brother would protect Wei Ying until the bitter end or die trying – so he swooped in and fought off Nie Mingjue and Su She while Lan Zhan kept holding onto Zidian, hereby immobilizing Jiang Cheng until the man finally gave in and retracted the whip.

Lan Xichen still remeined standing in front of his brother and Wei Wuxian – not at all liking the fact that he had to defend a mass murderer, but he would gladly do so for now if that meant his brother got to live.

“I am done. I can deal with them.”

Surprised at Wei Wuxians tone Lan Xichen threw a single glance at the black clad man. He was smiling at Lan Zhan.

“How?” Lan Xichen didn’t miss out on the fact that his brother by no way doubted Wei Wuxian, in fact his brother seemed worried about the man at most.

“A secret melody.” Wei Ying winked at Lan Zhan. “It has been playing in my head whenever I needed to calm down – and let me tell you: it works miraculously well!”

Lan Zhan gave Wei Ying a questioning look but let the vague answer pass anyway.

“Go.”

“I will.” With another smile Wei Ying passed by the Lan brothers and all other cultivators around them – except Lan Zhan they all tailed him with suspicious glances.

Wei Ying didn’t care though. He was used to mistrust. Besides, if he wanted to calm those corpses down, he couldn’t let his mind be disturbed.

So, he stayed serene, thinking of the music in his heart, closed his eyes and started playing.

Behind him Lan Zhan wavered, his eyes shooting open as he had to steady himself against a boulder.

That was Wangxian – the song he had written for Wei Ying! And as far as he knew, he only hummed it to Wei Ying once while said man wasn’t even fully aware.

How had Wei Ying remembered the notes?

And-

His heart jumped. Wei Ying remembered. Wei Ying had said this song had clamed him when he needed it. Wei Ying must have carried this song in his heart.

And most importantly: he used it to calm down the corpses around them – showing that his heart must have a strong attachment which he could write onto the corpses by plying the song.

Lan Zhan burst with love for this man.

He couldn’t stand by, he brushed his worried brother off, who had attempted to steady him, walked straight at Su She, took the guys gequin and joined Wei Ying – on his way already starting to play his own song. Effectively shutting Su She’s screaming about Lan Zhan’s audacity to steal his instrument up.

The cultivators could only watch on in bewilderment as they witnessed Lan Zhan and Wei Ying duetting a song all of them had never heard before.

It was a song these two obviously shared in between themselves.

And watching it was nearly scary: Lan Zhan was obviously boosting the effect Wei Yings music had, his pure cultivation nourishing Wei Yings demonic one.

One after another the corpses were put to rest.

Not only did they lose all life, they even sank right back into the earth, vanishing like they had never been there.

The duo played the song twice until all corpses were subdued, the resentful energy in the air fading – just like the resentful energy within Wei Ying and the energy all-in-all within Lan Zhan.

Shortly after having played the last note, Wei Ying wavered and fell unconscious. Lan Zhan caught him and went down with him, landing straight on the ground with his arms wrapped around Wei Ying.

When the other cultivators closed in in them, Lan Zhan glared at them – warning them not to make a wrong move.

And that was how – against all intuitions – Lan Xichen ended up bringing the Yiling patriarch to Gusu. Otherwise, his brother wouldn’t have gone back there for treatment himself.

In fact, because of that, the remnants of the siege, the rests of the major sects and a few others, had come together to discuss what should be done from here on.

Most of them still wanted the Yiling patriarch dead and Lan Wangji punished until he dropped dead, but there were also those who suddenly weren’t in favor of destroying Wei Ying anymore.

Like Nie Mingjue – he had seen how little evil intent had been inside Wei Wuxians eyes after he wasn’t threatened by them anymore. He had been there when Wei Wuxian had called the corpses off, clearly defending all of them even though he could simply have escaped alone. So, if they left Wei Wuxian alone, he probably wouldn’t be an issue at all.

Jiang Cheng was the same. Now that someone else had stepped up for his brother, he couldn’t really remain standing against him. And even if he couldn’t forgive him for killing his sister and her husband, making Wei Ying live and take responsibility would probably be more satisfying than just killing him once anyway. Besides, he had not forgotten his jealousy from before either. He wasn’t blind – he wanted his brother around. He had just denied that up until now – all because of his stupid pride.

Lan Xichen opposed a severe punishment as well – even if he only did so to keep his brother alive and in the best case scenario also allow him a live with his love.

Naturally there also where those who wouldn’t listen. Su She and Jin Guangyao wanted to execute a punishment ‘to set an example’, while others wanted ‘the evil removed from the word’ – all the while not knowing, that said evil was currently inside the Gusu med bay, arguing with Lan Zhan.

“Stop being so petty! I know you hate others touching you but the head doctor isn’t here right now and your bandages must be soaked if your clothes look like that! Let me change them already!”

“Wei Ying-” It was a warning, clearly, but Wei Ying couldn’t have cared less. “No, you are being unreasonable. Do you want your wounds to infect?” Wei Ying crossed his arms, looking impatient. “Or are you afraid of letting me see your wounds?”

Lan Zhan didn’t answer.

“Whatever it is Lan Zhan, get over it and let me help you. Please. I want to do at least that much after all the trouble I caused you.”

Lan Zhan looked like he still wanted to say ‘no’, but he didn’t. He was clearly affected by Wei Yings display of guilt.

“Besides now that you are my husband it is my duty to take care of you!” Wei Ying realized what he has said belatedly once again. Well, he just had to go and ruin it, right? Him and his loose tongue. He really should get rid of that flirting habit.

“Husband?” Lan Zhan looked deadpanned. His voice devoid of anything. But contrary to his expression, his eyes had taken on a dark sparkle.

Was he angry? Or maybe just on the way to getting riled up like when they were teenagers?

Suddenly very much desiring to tease Lan Zhan like he had done when they were young Wei Ying gave an enthusiastic nod, speaking enthusiastically. “Yes, husband! I mean you saved me, right? With that I am the damsel in distress, and you are my prince – thus a wedding is in order, right?” Wei Ying winked at Lan Zhan, puckering his lips in an act of expecting a kiss before he added a sweet sounding, “Besides we have a son already. And A-Yuan remembers what I said back then. Plus he said I was looking at you like a mommy looks at a daddy, so-“

Ah yes, there it was: Wei Yings teasing backfiring on him. He had not watched his mouth and was punished for it. And he most definitely had to fix that. As in right now.

“But then again, forget it, what do kids know?” Laughing it off Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan a small shove, making him sit down on one of the beds in the med bay, acting as naturally as he could, as he acted like he still only cared about changing Lan Zhans bandages.

“Children are honest. You are not.”

Surprised Lan Zhan would actually say such a thing, Wei Ying stilled his hands before they could come into contact with Lan Zhans robes.

“What is that supposed to mean? I will have you know that I am a very serious, very honest guy. That is why everyone likes me!” Wei Ying paused, then signed and corrected himself. “Ok, why everyone liked me. Past tense. The demonic cultivation gave my image a little blow.”

“Wei Ying?” Asking his ‘Are you ok?’ in the manner that was so much like him, Lan Zhan looked at Wei Ying in mild worry. He did not like the undertone Wei Ying had just used.

“Ah, never mind. It is too bothersome to constantly be surrounded by people anyway.” Wei Ying closed his eyes. “Besides, most of the people I knew throughout my life and actually liked are gone by now, so…”

Lan Zhan fell silent, not knowing what to tell Wei Ying to make him feel better. Social contacts had never been his forte. That was always more of his brother’s talent.

“But you know Lan Zhan…when I understood that you didn’t hate me, that was good enough. It made me happy.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widened. “Never hated Wei Ying.”

“I know that now.” Wei Ying signed, this time reaching for Lan Zhan’s robes for real. “But I didn’t get that for a long time. In fact, when we were young, I thought you at least liked me a bit but as time passed, I was surer and surer that you hated me for acting the way I acted, saying the things I said and in short, well just hated me being me.” Wei Ying undid the front of Lan Zhan’s belt, careful not to rip at it in case it would pull the fabric of Lan Zhan’s cloths and drag them over his wounds or the bandages. “But at burial mount I saw a memory of the stygian tiger seal. It showed me how you defended me and cared for me after the last battle before the siege.”

“You didn’t remember that?” Lan Zhan sounded surprised, he even sounded a bit pained.

“No, sorry. My cultivation tends to block things out whenever I am going through phases where I feel dark emotions very strongly.” Throwing the belts aside as their backs where bloodied, Wei Ying bent down a bit more so he could start taking Lan Zhan’s robes off.

“How much do you remember now?” Lan Zhan caught Wei Yings hands, not letting him touch his clothes any further.

“Well, you saved me, cared for my wounds, spoke some words I do not recall but remember to be spoken softly and then you were led away for-” Wei Ying nodded at Lan Zhan’s robes, clearly meaning the punishment. “And now do me a favor and set my hands free, I need them to undress you.”

“Don’t.” Lan Zhan’s voice sounded strained – quite apparently so.

“Oh, come on Lan Zhan, I already undid your belt, so we are halfway there anyway. Besides, it’s not like I will peel you out of your pants.”

Apparently, Lan Zhan didn’t take it the humorous way. His grasp on Wei Ying tightened even more.

“I will wait for the doctor.”

“You don’t trust me to do this properly, do you?” Wei Ying suddenly had lost all jokes and fun comments. He didn’t know why, but he was growing angry – the resentful energy escaping his body made that quite noticeable for Lan Zhan as well.

“Wei Ying-” That was a ‘no, that is not the issue’, a ‘I trust you’, an ‘I am sorry if I offended you’ – but Wei Ying wasn’t willing to listen. With Lan Zhan things always had to end like that. Ever since he had crawled back out of the burial mounts.

“Ok then, what is it if that’s not the issue? And don’t tell me it’s your hatred for touching as long you would let another touch you.” Wei Ying tried to pull himself free, but Lan Zhan didn’t let go of him. And Lan Zhan had always been stronger than Wei Ying.

Wei Ying still tried to free himself two more times. All the while Lan Zhan remained quiet, not willing to tell the truth.

“Yiling Patriarch!” Hearing the call of his title, Wei Ying finally managed to pull himself free, quickly using the chance to distance himself from Lan Zhan.

“Yes?”

“The child has woken up. He wants to see you.”

Wei Ying immediately forgot his anger, rushing towards where he knew A-Yuan to rest.

The boy had recuperated quite well. His fever had gone down, he had been clad in new clothes – and even through they sadly were the white mourning robes of the Gusu Lan sect and not something pretty, they were at the very least clean. A-Yuan had even had been provided with a few snacks.

By the time A-Yuan had finished them and gone back to sleep – strangely not asking for anyone of the Wens, which caused Wei Ying quite a few worries, even if it may just have been a trauma from the fever – the doctor had already changed Lan Zhan’s bandages.

That is how he ended in this situation: As he went back to join Lan Zhan again, feeling like he should inform him about A-Yuan’s health, the female doctor – who had just finished her work on Lan Zhan and clothed the man again – went straight up towards him and demanded him to take off his coat so she could change the bandage on his arm. The gash Lan Xichen had left there was quite nasty and bled quite a lot after all.

Not at all thinking about what he was doing, he undressed his clothes right on the spot – until he was only left with his pants.

“You aren’t exactly shy, are you?” The doctor smiled as she got to work.

“Me? No, I have never been the shy type.” Wei Ying send a semi-heartfelt glare into Lan Zhan’s direction, wanting to add a ‘not like the statue over there’ – he was taking the whole bandaging affair quite personally – but ended up with his words stuck in his throat.

Lan Zhan was looking straight at them – or him to be exact. With quite dark eyes. The look was close to an angry one but somehow different.

Anyhow, it went straight to Wei Yings gut, setting something alive in there.

Especially since Lan Zhan had his eyes everywhere but on Wei Yings eyes – he didn’t even know he had been caught staring.

“Oh, what is this? I didn’t notice it before when I wrapped you up for the first time.” The doctor ran a hand along the burn-mark on his chest. “It looks like the Qishan Wen sects coat of arms.”

“That’s because it is their coat of arms.” Wei Ying scratched his head, looking down at his own chest. “I got that mark when I pushed a girl out of the way. I haven’t seen her since though.”

“Do you want me to get you a cream for that? It may lighten up the scar.”

“That isn’t necessary. It has been healed for many years now anyway. Besides, I have so many scars that it doesn’t matter if this one if visible or not.”

“I see.” The doctor smiled. Her mien was a tat bit sad. “Take more care of yourself in the future. Your skin may heal but the tissue will never be the same once it was hurt that deeply.”

“Yes doctor!” Smiling in an easygoing way, Wei Ying watched the doctor disappear, then looked back at Lan Zhan, surprised to find him standing nearly directly in front of him.

“What is it?”

“When did you get so many scars?”

Blinking at Lan Zhan’s question, Wei Ying looked down at himself. “It’s not that bad you know.”

“There were a lot less.” Wei Ying looked up again, starring into Lan Zhan’s eyes.

“What? When did you ever see me naked before!”

Lan Zhan remained silent, instead just continuing to look at every single scar, his gaze hardening when his eyes found the burn mark on Wi Yings chest.

“You should have accepted that cream.”

“You sound like you really hate that scar.” Wei Ying laughed a bit, lifting his hand to feel over the scar. His skin had a strange texture there – much rougher and harder.

“I do.”

Surprised at Lan Zhan not only hating a scar, that was not even on his own body, and even admitting to it, Wei Ying looked at Lan Zhan again, this time moving into his line of sight so that Lan Zhan’s eyes meet his own instead of the scar. “What? Why? Didn’t we agree back then that it was better for me to have it, than for MianMian to have it on her face?”

Lan Zhan remained silent.

“Hey, I am talking to you! You are being rude, you know!” Making a scene was one of Wei Yings strongest suits, so he went and acted spoiled – just like he had done so many times before.

“Besides, I don’t see why you would hate something I got because I was selfless for once!”

“That is not the problem.”

Not having expected that Lan Zhan would actually entertain him by letting himself be teased, Wei Ying smirked, forming yet another glorious plan inside his head.

“Well, what is the problem then? The one who I got the scar for?” He wiggled his eyebrows, hinting how he had teased Lan Zhan for liking MianMian back then in the cave of the tortoise of slaughter. “Ah Lan Zhan, rest assured, I never did and never will love MianMian, she is all yours.” He snickered seeing how Lan Zhan’s face shifted into something akin to annoyance.

“Oh and one more secret-” Deciding to add another layer to the teasing, Wei Ying stood straight, coming closer and closer to Lan Zhan’s face before he finally moved to the side a bit and whispered straight into the other mans ears. “-I would have acted the same way if you were the one about to be burned, we can’t have the most beautiful cultivator disfigured, can we?”

Instead of getting Lan Zhan to turn bashful or turn red or anything else that was cute, Wei Ying was shocked to see Lan Zhan flinch.

He immediately felt something wasn’t right. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have come that close to you. Or said that. Or done whatever I did wrong.”

Wei Ying stepped backwards, lifting his hands upwards in a show of ‘I give up, it was my fault’.. Lan Zhan didn’t react. Now this was bad.

“Lan Zhan? What is it? Talk to me please?”

Lan Zhan turned around and went back to the bed, Wei Ying could see how he was forcing himself to walk straight and upright. It must have been hurting his back more than anyone else would ever been able to bear. Or at least more than Wei Ying himself could have been able to bear.

“Lan Zhan, please don’t ignore me, ok? You know I say and do a lot of things, but I don’t mean them, so please-” As Wei Ying hurried after him, completely disregarding the fact that he was still half naked, Lan Zhan let out a shaky breath.

“That is also a problem, yes.”

Wei Ying froze. Just what had he done to mess up this badly? Before Lan Zhan had often been angry at him, but the silent treatment was new – and he did not like it, not at all.

“Lan Zhan, you are making me feel disliked again, I-”

“Disliked?” Even though Wei Ying had only tried to fix the situation by telling Lan Zhan what kind of misunderstanding would come from this, he seemed to have worsened it all. Lan Zhan was definitely in a bad mood now.

“Ok sorry Lan Zhan, I didn’t think about what I just said, forget it. I just-” Wei Ying broke off. What had he wanted? Why were things this complicated right now anyway?

“You know Lan Zhan, I just like you, so I want to tease you, I am sorry.” Giving up, Wei Ying rubbed his face, not knowing how else he should tell Lan Zhan that he was someone he regarded highly and had always wanted to be friends with. He just couldn’t control his tongue. But that changed non of his feelings.

“Do not say things you do not mean.”

“But I do mean it!” Exasperated Wei Ying found himself, for the first time ever, thinking Lan Zhan to be blockheaded and stupid. What would it take for Lan Zhan to take him serious for once? Sure, he joked around a lot but even he had his honest moments! Then it hit him, a genius idea.

“I know what to do to show you the truth of my words!” Rushing past Lan Zhan, Wei Ying went to the doctors table, snatched a paper and a brush plus the liquid ink, and returned to Lan Zhan.

In front of Lan Zhan Wei Ying ripped a piece of the paper off and started to write something onto it. “There! A truth-talisman! I developed it so A-Yuan couldn’t lie to me whenever I asked whether or not he had brushed his teeth!”

Lan Zhan gave him an empty stare, clearly not believing him – once again.

So, Wei Ying took the liberty to take Lan Zhan’s hand and put the makeshift-talisman on top of his palm.

Then he asked a question, his eyes glinted mischievously. “I presented you with two rabbits back in our teen days. Did you like them?”

“Yes.” Lan Zhan’s eyes widened hearing his own answer, his ears started to turn pink in embarrassment.

“See, you can’t lie with that talisman!” Wei Ying snickered at Lan Zhan before taking the paper into his own hands again. “And now ask me all questions you want an honest answer to, I won’t be able to lie or evade the question for once so use this chance.”

And Lan Zhan did. It was nearly a surprise with him being such a goody-two-shoes.

“Did or do you like MianMian?”

Wei Ying laughed; Lan Zhan was way too cute asking that question even though the answer was so obvious. “No.”

“Why did you push her aside then?”

“Because I didn’t what her face to be marred.”

“Would you have done that for everyone else too?”

“Hell no” Wei Ying made a face. For all he cared Wen Chao for example could gladly have been burned. And Jiang Cheng would have had to save his ass himself, sorry not sorry, but being saved was a sweet-person-privilege not an angry-person-privilege.

“Then why did you say you would have taken that burn for me then?”

“Because you being burned would absolutely not be an option – ever. It was bad enough that the Wen sect dared to break your leg back then. I was already angry enough at them for that.” Wei Ying huffed, in fact, yes, his answer reminded him just how angry he had been back then. He would gladly have broken Wen Chaos legs as thank-you back then.

Lan Zhan fell quiet for a moment.

Wei Ying moved his head to the side, looking puzzled. “Wait, aren’t you going to ask me if I like you? I thought that was what you didn’t believe coming from me first and foremost.”

Lan Zhan hesitated for a moment. He didn’t know if the answer to that question would make him happy, even if Wei Ying did indeed like him as friend.

“Come on Lan Zhan, just ask me. Or else I will be sad because you will never believe me that I like you.”

Lan Zhan half-signed, finally giving in. “Fine. Do you like me?”

“I do. You always have been and always will be my favorite person.” At first Wei Ying smiled, glad to finally be asked the important question, but as he heard himself answer he nearly suffered a heart attack.

What was that with the favorite person? Hey, hey, the talisman was supposed to make him say the absolute truth – how did something that mushy come out?

And how could Lan Zhan always have been his favorite person when at some point his shijie had been around as well?

Or…wait a minute – the talisman was making him say the truth.

Wei Ying blinked. He had just realized he was seriously stupid.

He liked Lan Zhan more than his siter because he wasn’t just a friend.

Only now did he noticed how much more of his time he had always spend on Lan Zhan than on all others – girls included.

And he had always cared about Lan Zhan’s opinion more than anyone else’s.

Plus, he had only been this fierce in all his fights and arguments with Lan Zhan because he assumed Lan Zhan wanted to punish him for his ways or condemned him and that was the absolute last thing, he wanted Lan Zhan to desire when it came to himself.

So yes, he was in love with Lan Zhan. Which was kind of suboptimal.

Couldn’t he at least have fallen for someone who might like him back one day? Fate really was cruel.

“Do not lie.”

“Lan Zhan, I literally can’t lie right now!” Ah, good, Lan Zhan seemed to be stupid in this area – just like Wei Ying himself. He hadn’t realized what Wei Yings words had meant. Lucky him – that spared him the rejection and the awkward atmosphere afterwards – plus the heartbreak. Wei Ying however still averted his eyes, sitting down on the floor leaning back with his face directed at the roof instead of at Lan Zhan – who was seated on the bed across from him.

“You make it sound like you love me.” Ok correction: Lan Zhan was neither obvious nor stupid in this area. But he was stupid in another area. He said his words as statement, not as question: meaning Wei Ying could evade the truth since he frankly speaking would not be lying.

“Well I guess-” Wei Ying couldn’t help himself and sneaked a glance at Lan Zhan, wanting to see how Lan Zhan may or may not take a confession – just as theoretical knowledge. He however broke off when he saw Lan Zhan’s Face shifting through dozens of emotions.

“Are you ok?” Asking Lan Zhan that question had come naturally to him but since he was the one holding the talisman and not Lan Zhan, he may not get an honest answer anyway, even if he asked him. Then again Lan Zhan had probably not lied once in bis life. After all it was against the Gusu Lans sects rules.

“Wei Ying, put the talisman aside if you don’t want to tell me. Otherwise, I will ask.” Confused about what Lan Zhan was even talking about – especially since he had just completely ignored Wei Yings question, which could be counted as rude, which in turn would be against the Gusu Lan sect rules – Wei Ying failed to put the talisman aside.

“Wei Ying, did you ever like someone?”

“Yes.”

“Me too.” Now that Lan Zhan had already admitted that much, Wei Ying suddenly had the desire to turn tables – especially since Lan Zahn’s last question for him had hit too close to home. Thus, he quickly took the talisman and slapped it into Lan Zhan’s lap.

“How many people did you like in your life Lan Zhan? Romantically I mean.”

“One.” As Lan Zhan hadn’t been quick enough to get rid of the talisman, he was forced to answer. Even if he was visibly not comfortable with having been made to admit that.

Wei Ying decided to make it up to him with a bit of his own honesty. “Me too. I only loved one person as well. Even though it took me half my life to figure that out.”

Saying it out loud was kind of embarrassing but seeing Lan Zhan’s surprised reaction made it worth it.

And suddenly Wei Ying went devil-may-care. He wanted to know who the lucky one was, who Lan Zhan was in love with, even if he had to admit his own feelings in turn. He was sure Lan Zhan would be too nice to force him out of his life.

Good thing that Lan Zhan was still holding the talisman.

And yes, Wei Ying knew fully well that Lan Zhan would be angry at him for drawing the next bit of information out of him – but whatever, he was a fool in love so he was allowed to do stupid things.

“Who is the one you love?”

Wei Ying had never seen Lan Zhan cast a silencing spell this quickly. Especially not on himself.

“That is cheating!”

Lan Zhan gave Wei Ying a that-question-was-off-limits-look. Wei Ying pouted.

“Fine, fine. Then another question, ok?”

Lan Zhan didn’t lift the silencing spell, seemingly afraid of the prior questions answer tumbling past his lips – or he was simply burdened with serious trust issues now.

“Come on Lan Zhan, I promise to be good. I won’t pull such a trick again. I will even tell you something more intimate about me, that you want to know as apology. So, pretty please, forgive me?” Trying his best to look cute and lovable, Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan the puppy dog eyes – which was ironic given Wei Yings fear of dogs.

But Lan Zhan remained unmoved.

So, Wei Ying did the only thing he thought to be possible.

He played the game with and against himself to get back on Lan Zhan’s good side.

“Did you ever attempt serious advances at someone other the one you loved?” Quickly snatching the talisman from Lan Zhan, Wei Ying made himself force-answer the truth.

And he was quite glad he added the ‘except the one you loved’ clause – after all he was quite sure he had been serious to a certain degree when flirting with Lan Zhan at times. “No.”

Putting the talisman back into Lan Zhans lap, Wei Ying smiled again, trying to get Lan Zhan to loosen up. “There you have it, I am actually quite a sensible man. So please talk to me again?”

But instead of talking to him right away, Lan Zhan seemed to progress what he had just heard first. Then he picked up the talisman again and pushed it back at Wei Ying before lifting his silencing spell and asking his next question – quite obviously happy that the answer he had priorly hidden had not tumbled out along with the question.

“Did you ever kiss someone?”

To say Wei Ying was shocked at such an intimate question would have been a grand understatement but given the fact that he was holding the talisman, he had to answer. And actually, he was surprised at his own answer – wasn’t it a lie after all? “No.”

Lan Zhan froze. “You lied. How is that possible?���

Wei Ying, still under the effect of the talisman, answered right back. “I didn’t and it isn’t. I never kissed anyone.” Well ok, as long as he said it like that it was true. After all he had not done the kissing – he had been kissed.

Wei Ying had never seen Lan Zhan look so furious as he did right now. “Do not lie to me. I know you have kissed someone before.”

“Lan Zhan I really can’t lie right now as long as you ask me something! Besides, how would you know whether or not I had-” Wei Ying broke off. Wait, wait, wait. The only kiss he had had and thus the only kiss Lan Zhan could know of was that one – or rather the series of kisses – that was stolen from him at Phoenix mount. And no one except him and that overly strong girl should have witnessed that. The resentful energy inside him was way to weary of all people to not inform him about another presence had there been one. So that only left…the girl?

Oh. Wait: had that girl gone running around telling everyone about that!?

Well, that made it kind of embarrassing.

Or wait, no, right: After that kiss Wei Ying had meet Lan Zhan and they had talked about kisses. Or rather Wei Ying had told Lan Zhan about how many kisses he had had and teased Lan Zhan about how his lips would probably stay virgin for the rest of his life.

Suddenly Wei Ying had to laugh – so that was what this was about. “Ok, I admit it Lan Zhan, I lied to you back then.” Holding up the truth-talisman to empathize that he was indeed telling the truth right at this moment, Wei Ying smiled even broader, even now still feeling amusement at his teenager self’s way of acting. “Back then at Phoenix mount-”

Wei Ying definitely saw Lan Zhan’s eyes dodge his at that – which was strange. Hadn’t he wanted the truth in the first place after all?

Choosing to ignore that detail, Wei Ying continued with his explanation. “-I told you I had already kissed dozens of people dozens of times, right?”

Watching Lan Zhan turn back towards him, like he had not expected this but something else to be brought up, but now that it was something else than what he had feared, he was interested again, Wei Ying just had to smile again. How could anyone be this cute at Lan Zhan’s age and size?

“Well, my dear Lan Zhan, that was a lie.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes widened once again, suddenly the tip of his ears shone a bright red. “So, your first kiss was…?”

By the Lan Zhan trailed off, Wei Ying couldn’t stop himself from answering anymore. His reflexes of putting the talisman had been too slow and he couldn’t silence himself, so yes, he was in for an embarrassment.

“My first kiss was stolen from me just before I meet you on Phoenix mount. I don’t even know who it was.”

Lan Zhan didn’t move an inch – but the way his eyes suddenly seemed to have turned into deep, dark swirling pools of something powerful, made Wei Yings mouth go dry.

On instinct he licked his lips – not realizing how sensitive his lips seemed to be. His stomach however knew – if that flutter was any indication.

And Lan Zhan, who seemed to be tracking his tongues movement with his eyes, wasn’t helping to ease that feeling inside him either.

So, in order to get his attention somewhere else, he did what he always did. He started to ramble. “Well but you know, it was really strange. You know, I was already cultivation the dark path back then but the resentment inside of me made no move to defend me. Thus the one who kissed me must actually have been someone who the energy knew and knew of that I trusted them.”

Lan Zhan kept starring down at Wei Ying, making the other one’s mind grow even more chaotic, casing Wei Yings rambling to worsen – with the worst part being that Wei Ying still held onto the truth talisman.

“But I didn’t have that many people whom I trusted enough to let them come that close to me. Basically, there were only my shijie, and she wouldn’t have kissed me, just no, besides she loved the peacock back then already – my brother, and oh Lord, believe me, if he was the one who did that I would castrate him, but I think I am safe from that ever being a real danger, considering that he doesn’t know anything about love and will probably be a single for life anyway – and well, then there is…you?”

Wei Ying stopped at that. Wait a minute, did this truth talisman turn him into a detective? First off, he found out with whom he was in love with – and generally even just that he was in love with someone – and now he seemed to be finding out who had stolen his first kiss from him?

But Lan Zhan wouldn’t do something like that, right? After all-

All of Wei Yings thoughts skitter to a halt.

Lan Zhan was no longer sitting on his bed.

He was down on his knees in front of him. His hands on his cheeks. His lips on Wei Yings. And he wasn’t going slow either – in fact he was quite aggressive.

Lan Zhan was devouring Wei Yings mouth. He kept going in for more, not even waiting for Wei Ying to respond to him as he separated their lips by the tiniest fractions to bring them together at another angle just a split second later.

Lan Zhan made sure to move his lips from side to side, giving Wei Ying the feeling of their lips being inseparable even if they weren’t glued into one position.

There was no shyness, no hesitation – just an obvious hunger and passion that did not seem to be like Lan Zhan at all. But it was very much like the heated demanding kisses he had received on Phoenix mount.

So, it had been Lan Zhan!

Suddenly feeling as though the sun had decided to rise from within his body at this exact moment, Wei Ying threw his arms round Lan Zhan’s neck, responding as well as he could with his mind not being able to come up with a single coherent thought or course of action.

But it seemed to do the trick for Lan Zhan. He let out a low growl, his hand leaving Wei Yings face now that Wei Ying was pressing back so fiercely.

Possessively, he slid them down Wei Yings naked sides, one hand grasping his hipbone while the other traveled to his lower back, pulling him flush against Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying felt electrified, his whole body was buzzing. His mind went places that had never been explored before.

“God, I love you, Lan Zhan.” Not even realizing how he has started babbling again just moments after Lan Zhan had started to kiss down his neck, instead of shutting his stupid mouth up, he clutched the talisman – which he still held in his hand – even harder, withering under Lan Zhan’s lips.

But the very heartbeat that the words had come out of his mouth, Lan Zhan stopped his ministrations, lifting his face back up to look at Wei Ying.

To others, Lan Zhan may have looked normal, but to Wei Ying, there was a whole other dimension written over Lan Zhan’s features.

The usually golden suns that were his eyes, had turned into deep rich amber colored honey. And even if his face itself remained pretty much unchanged, his ears were red, his breathing a little quick, his lips parted, and there was a fervor written right onto his soul, which spoke volumes of how much and how long Lan Zhan had been dying to kiss Wei Ying like this.

“Repeat that.” Lan Zhan sounded like he was demanding it and yet was pleading for it at the same time.

And even in his dizziness, Wei Ying understood how fragile this moment was.

So, he loosened his hold around Lan Zhan’s neck – startling the man for a second, probably making him fear that Wei Ying had come back to himself and was filled with regret.

“Don’t let your mind come up with something ridiculous now Lan Zhan.” Speaking oh so lovingly, Wei Ying showed Lan Zhan the talisman once again before he held it to his heart.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, you are the love of my life. You have been since I came to Gusu, even if I only got it today.”

Lan Zhan didn’t move, but he was listening. And he was yearning for whatever Wei Ying was willing to give him.

So, Wei Ying decided to make his confession a grant one. Lan Zhan certainly deserved that. “Lan Zhan, you are not only my sun, you are my entire solar system – without you the sky isn’t infinite and the earth has no gravity. You are my oxygen, and I am dying to breath. I will walk to the end of this earth for you, I will go to and through hell if that means I can earn myself a place by your side.” Wei Ying couldn’t help himself, his lips just started smiling on their own accord. “I liked you when I first saw you, standing there in the moonlight with that regal countenance of yours, those all-seeing beautiful eyes of yours and that smooth voice, telling me about all the rules I broke. Then I came to adore you when you sat in class, all serious, and before I knew it, I loved you when you and I were alone in the library – I loved being around you so much that I took more than one month longer to copy all the texts than I would have needed.” Wei Ying gave Lan Zhan a peck to the lips. “And in case you didn’t notice – I flirted with many, but you were the only one I ever gave a present to. These bunnies were like us, weren’t they? A calm and responsible white one and a quirky, troublesome black one. And even they were lovers. We must truly be fated, I-”

Way Ying had no chance to sprout any more words of eternal love.

Lan Zhan had already shut him up, diving in for more and more of the only substance that could drive him mad with desire. “Like you, adore you, love you.” Lan Zhan was whispering against Wei Yings lips, staying so close to them that his lips dragged over Wei Yings as he spoke. “Want you so much. Always have. Back then too.” And suddenly Lan Zhan went even further, licking Wei Yings lips, biting them, pulling them and finally parting them as his tongue infiltrated Wei Yings mouth.

A wanton sound came out of Wei Yings throat, taking both of them by surprise. But while Wei Ying for once nearly fell into the pit of feeling shame, Lan Zhan seemed to have decided that just one of these sounds wasn’t enough.

He quickly turned Wei Ying into an instrument, pulling all his strings, making him use his voice to create all kids of new noises.

“Want to bed Wei Ying.”

These words shot straight down to Wei Yings lower half – not that that part of him hadn’t already come very much alive anyway.

“Want to bed Wei Ying every day.”

Nearly going insane from all the sensations and words, Wei Ying could only throw his head back, letting Lan Zhan do as he pleased as he sucked on his neck, making sure to lay a very visible claim on his beloved.

“Then marry me Lan Zhan, I’ll be the first and lace face you see every day.”

Wei Ying was only half aware of what he was saying, but Lan Zhan made up for Wei Ying’s lacking attention, by searing Wei Yings words into his mind, making sure to hold Wei Ying to them.

“Would Wei Ying want to marry me?” Lan Zhan pulled back after he had created a satisfactory mark, going back to kiss Wei Ying, talking to him at the same time – being cattier now than ever before.

“Yes, of course, I would marry you on the spot if I could. I have loved you for long already, I have no doubt I will love you for the rest of my life.”

Wei Ying kissed Lan Zhan back with an equal amount of passion, sneakily moving his arms while Lan Zhan was drowning in the sensation of his beloved kissing him back with no less affection or passion than he himself felt.

Then suddenly, Lan Zhan felt his robes parting, his belts and outer garments sliding open as Wei Ying moved his hands underneath them.

“But you will have to live with me being naughty and flirting with you all day and night long.”

Lan Zhan had no complaint regarding that.

His world, his life, was not only in love with him, no he wanted to touch him and marry him too – it made something in Lan Zhan roar in triumph. He bend over Wei Ying, covering the others entire sight. Wei Ying softly raked his nails up and down over his bandages.

Surprisingly Lan Zhan couldn’t feel his back at all – it might have been the pain killers or just his drunkenness of what was happening right now, but either way, he saw no reason to hold back,

For once he went against schedule, against plans and the proper order of things, giving himself to his racing heart and pulsing body.

He pushed Wei Ying down onto the floor, ridding himself of his upper and inner garments at the same, leaving him equally clad or rather naked as Wei Ying was.

Wei Ying drank in the sight of him, and even with the bandages, he saw the most perfect man he had ever laid eyes on.

“Gods, how did I land you – what have I ever done to deserve you.” And with that Wei Ying pulled Lan Zhan back down, demanding to be kissed senseless – Lan Zhan gladly obliged.

At least until Wei Ying drew a leg up and – whether accidentally or not – brushed against a rather neglected part of Lan Zhan’s body.

Lan Zhan’s breath came out in a strained puff. “Wei Ying, if you don’t what to be taken right here, right now, I would suggest you stop playing with fire.”

“And what if I do want it?” Wei Ying took a lock of Lan Zhan’s hair and twirled it in between them. “What will you do if I want my husband to make me his in all ways he can?” Traveling up the smooth lock of hair, Wei Ying grasped Lan Zhan’s ribbon. “Oh, and will I have a ribbon like that too after I marry you? I always liked it on you.”

Lan Zhan turned feral, ripping his ribbon off and tying it around Wei Yings wrists, tying him up before hooking Wei Yings bound-up arms around his neck. “You can have my ribbon right now. You are my husband; you are allowed to touch.”

Wei Ying suddenly paled. “Wait! That is what it means!? God, I am sorry for all the times I just touched it and even pulled it off without even thinking about it!”

“Have always loved you, have always loved the feeling and sight of you holding my ribbon, have always wanted you to take it after you knew the meaning.” Lan Zhan’s mouth didn’t stop forming words, making him talk so much that Wei Ying felt tears welling up – Lan Zhan was so obviously so in love with him, that it wrenched his heart.

“I know now. But I won’t take it off again.”

Lan Zhan froze. But then Wei Ying laughed happily, seeing his games being successful for once. “I’ll just straight up keep it. You are mine! Let the world see. You will get my headband in turn!”

“Then hurry up and get your headband.” Lan Zhan kissed Wei Ying again, relishing in the knowledge that whenever he felt like it in the future, he would be able to claim as many kisses as he craved for.

Wei Ying was finally his; Wei Ying had finally come back to Gusu. And this time Lan Zhan would make him stay – giving Wei Ying the life he wanted right her by his side.

Lan Zhan could feel Wei Ying looked arms around his neck pulling him down with even more force, making him feel like suddenly everything in this world had found it’s place.

He had certainly found his. He smiled a rare but honest. “Do you remember the song you played before? To calm the corpses?”

Taken off guard by the question, Wei Ying tried to figure out where this was going as he nodded.

“It is a song I composed for you. I hummed it for you in the Cave of the tortoise of slaughter.”

Wei Ying stopped moving all along, his mouth open, his eyes wide. “You composed that? For me?”

“Yes.” Lan Zhan gave Wei Ying an endearing look. “I not only loved you back then, I was also aware of my feelings.”

“Are you teasing me Lan Zhan!?” Seemingly not believing it, Wei Ying smiled that happy grin of his. “I can’t believe it! Ah wait- you never told me the songs name!”

Lan Zhan nuzzled Wei Ying as he said, “Combine our names.”

“Oh, so wait, the top comes first, right? And with us, you are definitely the top, I am very sure of that much. So it’s Wangxian?”

Lan Zhan couldn’t help but fall even more for the man in his arms. “Yes.”

“Did you compose any more songs dearest?”

Lan Zhan smiled again, completely besotted. “I will play them for you on our wedding night.”

“Then I will take you to Lotus pier for our honeymoon!”

Lan Zhan hummed in agreement, imagining them side by side, clad in red.

He hoped the wedding would be soon.

And that his uncle would not go into qi deviation over this matter.

____________________

Autors note:

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked the FanFiction!

By the way, all sorts of feedback are very welcome :)

And please feel free to tell me if you have another scenerio in mind that I should attempt to write :)

[discoscoob]

Aftermath of New York | Loki x Female Reader

Loki (Marvel) x Doctor Who

The aftermath of the events of New York, you wake up and discover Loki has disappeared.

Part Eight | Part Ten | Chapter Index

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: angst

Read on AO3

The control room was silent, the Doctor hadn’t lifted his attention from the console ever since he arrived back to the TARDIS a few hours ago. After the chitauri had been defeated, he and Donna were able to safely return to the TARDIS while carrying your unconscious body. Once they got back they put you in your bed to rest, while they returned to the control room to begin the search for Loki.

 “Donna, I think you should see this.” The Doctor spoke, Donna perked her head up at the sound of her name from where she had been sat on the seats by the console and saw the Doctors eyes were glued to the monitor with an ever slightly alarmed expression in his eyes.

 “What is it, have you found Loki?” She asked as she rose to her feet and quickly rushed around the centre controls to the Doctors side so that she could look at the screen which had his undivided attention.

 “Not exactly...” He answered as Donna watched the news footage that was displayed on the monitor, the last thing she expected to see was several videos of Loki dressed in armour and a cape, much like his brother had been, as he attacked New York in the battle which they had just found themselves in.

 “I’ve looked at multiple news reports and they all name him as the instigator of the attack.” The Doctor solemnly explained.

 “Oh my god,” Donna whispered in horror before her face washed with realisation, “it’s his fault my nieces life was endangered.” 

 The Doctor opened his mouth as he looked down at Donna, he hesitated and silently considered whether or not he should share his suspicion with her. “Donna...” He slowly began, “I think... I think she knew about the attack... and about Loki.”

 Donna snapped her head up to the Doctor and fixed him with an appalled stare as if he had just committed a most grievous offence. 

 “Are you insinuating that my niece would willing date a... a terrorist?” She snarled at the Doctor as she looked up at him from under her brows with an expression that dared him to go on.

 “They were both very eager to leave New York as soon as we arrived, as if they knew what was coming.” The Doctor elaborated and Donna turned on her heel to walk around the console as her face twisted in disbelief at what the Doctor was trying to suggest.

 “I’ll ask her myself when she wakes up, then you will see how ridiculous your accusations are.” Donna confidently told the Doctor.

 “Ask me what?” You timidly asked from the edge of the control room, you could feel the hostile tension as soon as you laid your eyes upon Donna and the Doctor, interrupting it felt like cutting through a wire on a ticking time bomb and praying it would disable it instead of trigger it. 

 “Oh hun,” Donna sighed with relief as soon as she saw you back on your feet, she immediately rushed over to you and pulled you into a bone crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, I was so scared I might lose you.” 

 You slowly brought your arms up to return the hug, but you couldn’t allow yourself to fully embrace it as you were distractedly looking over your aunties shoulder with narrowed eyes towards the Doctor, who was quietly keeping his head down. It wouldn’t have taken a genius to figure out something wasn’t right. The fact you hadn’t seen any sign of Loki yet either was weighing heavy on your mind.

 “What did you want to ask me?” You repeated as you pulled away from the hug, you saw Donna look over her shoulder at the Doctor, you didn’t see the glare she gave him as she decided it was his fault that she now had no choice but to ask you if you knew about Loki.

 “Darling, come sit down, there’s something I have to tell you.” She delicately began as she guided you towards the seat by the console.

 “Is it Loki? Is he all right? Where is he?” You worried as your eyes bounced around the control room, despite the fact you already knew he wasn’t there.

 Donna once again glared over her shoulder at the Doctor as she didn’t have any idea how to approach this and she was desperate for him to step in and offer some help, but he remained silent and kept his distance.

 “About Loki... well... the thing is... it has to do with what I wanted to ask you...” Donna fumbled until the Doctor cut her off.

 “Did you know that Loki was behind the attack on New York?” He bluntly asked you and you raised your head to him so quickly that you almost gave yourself whiplash. Almost instantly you felt your chest begin to rise and fall more rapidly as panic surged through it, quickening your pulse and twisting your stomach in the worst possible way.

 “Did you kick him off the TARDIS?” You poorly veiled the way your anxiety made your voice tremble as your eyes shifted anxiously between Donna and the Doctor.

 “Did you know?” Donna repeated the Doctors question and you realised you weren’t going to get any answers until you gave in and offered up some of your own, so you nodded with defeat as your eyes cast to the floor to avoid their reactions, but you couldn’t ignore the disappointed sigh that escaped your aunties lips.

 “How long have you known?” She proceeded to ask.

 “Ever since New Earth.” You quietly confessed.

 “When you convinced us to let him stay?!” She raised her voice slightly and you curled in further on yourself, “don’t you think we deserved the right to know that we were travelling with a monster?”

 “He’s not a monster!” You abruptly rose from your seat, causing Donna to flinch backwards.

 “He invaded New York with an army, innocent people got killed, you were very nearly one of them!” Donna argued back and you finally faltered.

 “What happened?” The last thing you recalled was looking at the worm hole, after that everything became hazy like a dream, the more you tried to pull it back, the further it slipped from your grasp.

 “You were shot at and the blast threw you across the street, you hit your head... you suffered a brain haemorrhage.” Donna explained to you, her face twisted in pain as she relived the memory.

 “I have a brain haemorrhage?!” You panicked and lowered yourself back down onto the seats as you brought your hand to hover it over your head.

 “Not anymore, Loki... Loki fixed it.” Donna hesitantly told you.

 “So he saved my life.” You stated frankly.

 “He wouldn’t have needed to if he hadn’t lead an alien invasion to attack earth.” By now Donna was wildly gesticulating with her rising anger and frustration.

 “It wasn’t his fault!” You rose back up from the seats and your voice followed suit. “He was influenced by the mind stone, just like the Reverend was with the firestone.” 

 “How do you know that?” Donna narrowed her eyes.

 “He told me.”

 “And you believed him? Did he prove it to you or do you just have his word?” At your silence Donna sighed, “God of Mischief, was it? Yeah he must be real trust worthy.”

 You swallowed as you felt hot tears threatening to rise to your waterline while your chest was caving with your rapid breaths, “where is he?” You demanded  one final time.

 Donna stubbornly remained silent and so you let your eyes drift to the Doctor, wordlessly begging him to offer you an answer, he tilted his head sympathetically when he saw the lost look in your glossy eyes.

 “He was captured by the TVA in New York.” 

 Donna turned her head over her shoulder to glare at the Doctor once again and he nonchalantly dropped his eyes to the console pretending to be busy, while your eyes bounced wildly between the two of them.

 “We have to get him back!” You stated determinedly and Donna whipped her head around to face you with narrowed eyes swimming with panic and frustration.

 “Did you not listen to anything I just said? He is where he belongs!” 

 “He belongs with me!” Your throat burned with the force of your voice and you immediately swallowed in an attempt to sooth it. The TARDIS fell silent as you and Donna stared at one another, both stubbornly holding your ground, daring the other to give in first. Ultimately Donna was the one to leave, as she dismissively shook her head with a roll of her eyes before she stormed off further into the TARDIS.

 You glanced up at the Doctor, offering him the floor so he could tell you how much he disapproved of you and Loki as well, instead he offered you an empathetic, tight lipped smile and your eyes cast downwards, unsure whether that was better or worse. Criticism of yours and Loki’s relationship gave you motivation to prove them wrong, pitiful smiles made you lose hope you would ever have the chance.

 With your head hung low you nervously fidgeted with your fingers, a habit that you picked up from Loki, before you spun on your heel with determination to formulate a plan to rescue him.

 ***

 You had lost count of how many hours had passed while you had been trying to develop a plan to find Loki but short of hijacking the TARDIS, a ship you had no idea how to fly, you had nothing.

 You paced the length of your room in frustration, the emptiness of it acted as a constant reminder that Loki wasn’t there. Every idea you tried to develop lead to a dead end, which left you feeling trapped and staring at the same plain four walls of your bedroom wasn’t helping at all. You needed to leave your room and attempt to clear your mind, it was growing exhausted from running over the same useless ideas over and over, leaving you feeling uninspired and useless.

 During your time on your TARDIS, it didn’t take you long to realise that sometimes the corridors shifted and rooms moved, sometimes the kitchen was just around the corner from your bedroom other days it was like walking through a maze just to find a midnight snack. Today, however, no matter how much you tried to avoid it, the TARDIS kept leading you towards the control room, eventually you had no choice but to give in.

 It was just as quiet as it was when you left, your auntie was nowhere to be see, you were unsure of the time by you were positive that by now she would probably be sleeping, whereas the Doctor was still hunched over the console. His suit jacket had been discarded over the seats, leaving him in just his pale blue shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his brown floral patterned tie around his neck.

 Once you were a few meters behind him, he lifted his head to look at you from over his shoulder. “Everything all right?” He gently asked you with soft eyes.

 “No, of course not. Loki isn’t here.” You harshly snapped before immediately regretting it once the Doctor timidly lowered his head and diverted his eyes back to the switches in front of him. “I’m sorry,” you sighed apologetically, “it’s just... I can’t sleep, I’m so worried about him and I know my auntie doesn’t want me to find him but I can’t... I can’t just give up on him... I just... I don’t know what to do.” 

 Hot prickly tears stung the corners of your eyes and your voice trembled with your pent up emotions, you gulped in a deep breath in the hope it would keep them from spilling over the edge.

 “Come here,” the Doctor patted the console, encouraging you to come and stand beside him. Hesitantly you made your way over to him with a questioning look but he offered no explanation until you were by his side.

 “This is called the Time Rotor Handbrake,” the Doctor rested his palm on the leaver which you most often see him use. “This is what makes the TARDIS materialise and dematerialise. It can also be used in emergencies, but the last time I used the emergency break during flight I caused some major damages to the sub systems so I try to refrain from doing that too often.”

 You gave the Doctor a bewildered look, which he didn’t meet your gaze to see, as you questioned why he was explaining the functions of the TARDIS controls to you. You had thought he was going to offer you some comfort, some words of wisdom, perhaps even offer to help you find Loki. If this was his idea of distracting you, it was a terrible one, your mind was still cluttered with concerns and anxieties over Loki and dead end rescue mission ideas.

 However you decided it would be a good idea to listen, incase you needed to act upon your plan to hijack the TARDIS, it would come in useful to understand all the controls and their functions, so you paid careful attention as the Doctor lead you around the console.

 “Ah-ha! This is the TARDIS’ telepathic interface.” The Doctor stated with his palm hovered over a panel of the console, filled with long, narrow gaps which contained a rubbery like membrane with small pits dug into it, giving it an uneven surface. 

 “You dig your fingers into it like so,” The Doctor demonstrated with his fingers spread out and held above the panel, “and it plugs your consciousness into the TARDIS so that you become mentally connected to her. Once she enters your mind, she can home in on specific details, if you think of a particular place, planet, time... person...” His eyes momentarily connected with yours, “the TARDIS will track a route, discover where it is and take you right there, all you need is a strong enough connection.” 

 “Well,” the Doctor stepped back from the console as he glanced at a wrist watch which he wasn’t wearing before he stretched his long arms out above his head and let out a loud yawn. “I think I am long overdue a good nights rest. I will see you tomorrow.”

 You mumbled a quiet goodnight to the Doctor and followed him with your eyes until he disappeared out of the control room and then they fell back to the telepathic interface.

 You fidgeted with your hands as you hovered them above the panel, if you think of a particular place, planet, time... person... the TARDIS will track a route, discover where it is and take you right there, the Doctors words rung in your ears.

 You took in a deep breath before you slowly spread your fingers and hesitantly lowered them to the surface between the gaps on the panel, once your fingertips were close enough, the rubber like membrane began to glow, while tiny strobes of light connected to your skin and dragged your fingers closer, until you felt they were securely held in place.

 You glanced up at the large glass cylinder in the centre of the console before you let your mind fill with images of Loki as you closed your eyes you silently begged the TARDIS to track him down and take you to him. 

 Your eyes shot open when you felt the floor beneath your feet begin to vibrate, signifying that the TARDIS was in flight. Hope ignited in your chest, quickening your heart rate and increasing your breaths as you once again closed your eyelids over your damp eyes and concentrated on the pictures of Loki in your mind until you felt the TARDIS come to a gentle stop. 

 You had some trouble removing your fingertips from the rubbery substance which clung tightly onto you, causing you to stumble back slightly once you yanked them free. With nothing holding you back, you rushed to the TARDIS doors.

 Once you opened them all you could see was darkness until your eyes lowered to a slither of light on the floor, coming through a crack beneath a door. Fully stepping out of the TARDIS, you shut its door behind you before you blindly reached for the handle in front of you, slowly you opened it just a crack so you could peek out with one eye.

 “Thanks for visiting the TVA! Don’t hesitate to let us know how we’re doin’!” A southern belle accent echoed down the deserted corridor through a speaker.

 Gently you shut the door before you leaned your back against it with a grateful and relieved sigh. You were one step closer to finding Loki.

[tiredcath]

Zukka Fic Recs

after atla came back into pop culture i found myself falling back in love with zukka which resulted in me reading (almost) every zukka fic on ao3 and here are my favorites

Transference by The_Quatermasters (146k)

In a modern AU, Zuko has to deal with settling in a new school after expulsion, dealing with an angry ex and an abusive father. Maybe his new found friendships and growing closeness with Sokka will help him make it through. 

Borderlines by The_Quatermasters (73k)

Three years after the war, the work still isn't quite done and the Gaang is scattered across the continents in their efforts to help the world recover. When Aang and Katara pay visit to the Fire Nation where Zuko is Fire Lord and Sokka acts as Ambassador for the Water Tribe, sparks fly between the siblings over Sokka's life choices.

Ashes Inside When You Finish Your Song by Muncaster (47k)

Sokka writes lyrics for his sister’s band. Zuko plays piano and is unnecessarily nice. Fellas, is it gay to write love songs about your friend and his golden eyes?

(AKA, a modern band AU featuring The Gaang, crappy software equipment, homoerotic lyrics, and the realization that maybe, if you think about a guy every night before you sleep, you just might be in love with him.)

sirens & sleepless nights by Satirrian (54k)

Life can be pretty hard living in a city under a totalitarian regime. Between adhering to the ridiculous curfew, keeping himself from being gunned down by a passing patrolman, and paying his unnecessary tolls to the state for, say, breathing, Sokka has his hands full just getting to work. Add aiding a resistance group on top of that, and Sokka should really be getting paid for this.

Then, one night, Sokka finds an injured patrolman collapsed in the street, who tells him with blood on his lips, “If the patrol finds me, I’m dead.”

 Real Slow by surveycorpsjean (21k)

“I see.” Zuko closes the scroll. “Is the Water Tribe sending a replacement?”

“Uh yeah,” Sokka gestures to himself dramatically. “You’re looking at him.”

 First by HoneyBadgerMole (20k)

Zuko has been nurturing a crush on the jock in his AP Psych class but he has been too scared to talk to him until they get paired up for a project.

the benefits of getting a flat tire by LesbeanLatte (64k)

Zuko makes an impromptu decision to run away from home after a disturbing conversation with Azula. Unfortunately, some plans are better when they're actually, well, planned. Zuko isn't counting on getting a flat tire almost as soon as he's far enough away from the city to really be in the middle of nowhere.

Sokka is immediately taken with the stranger he and his friends find stranded on the side of the road during an afternoon joy ride. However, he has no idea what he's getting involved with and a kind attempt to help a fellow teen in need turns into a massive coverup for a missing person who just so happens to be the son of the mayor of Ba Sing Se.

Azula was just trying to help her big brother - in her own way - by telling him things she thought he deserved to know. Now the situation has gotten wildly out of control. Did she enjoy seeing Zuko upset and afraid? Of course. Had she intended to endanger his life? Not necessarily, but of course, her idiot brother overreacted to everything and that's what happened and now she doesn't know how to stop the chain of events she's indirectly put in place like dominoes.

Operation Leverage by snowandfire (50k)

Sokka's instincts are onto something great. Zuko just wants to serve tea and brood in peace. Ironically, Toph is the only one who can see what's really going on.

 The Stingray by Smediterranea (24k)

“You’re not carrying me.”

“I don’t mind,” the lifeguard says easily.

“I can just hop over.”

“On sand?”

Zuko will never admit it, but being carried feels pretty nice. The lifeguard sets him down and eyes him warily.

“Are you really all by yourself?” he asks in a worried tone. “No friends in town you can call to check on you?”

“No,” Zuko confirms. Tears are forming again with alarming speed; his foot throbs painfully with every passing second.

“What kind of burrito do you want?”

“You don’t have to —“ Zuko repeats.

“I’m getting al pastor. You like al pastor?”

 AU: Zuko falls for Sokka, the super hot lifeguard who helps him after an unfortunate encounter with a stingray.

 it's the illusion of separation by argentoswan (110k)

Sokka takes a job washing dishes at the new tea shop in town. It's a great gig, until he finds out his only coworker is his old high school bully. Sokka really should quit, but he also really needs to afford rent.

Also, Zuko is kind of hot now.

 People like to think war means something by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once (21k)

Sokka was the first to leave.

Somehow that hurt the most. . . . Not long after Zuko becomes Firelord, forces gather in the South and next thing he knows he's thrown into a civil war with almost no one by his side. Maybe healing is longer and more complicated than it needs to be, but with the right people by your side it is always possible.

 a way that will destroy you by anothermistakemade (14k)

In the wake of Ozai's death, Zuko begins to fall apart. Sokka will do everything in his power to make sure that doesn't happen.

-

or, zuko might be losing his mind, but he also might just be really sad & traumatized

 Those Who Favor Fire by CSHfic, VSfic (30k)

After a failed attempt on his life, Sokka fakes his death, dons a disguise, and infiltrates the would-be assassin's ranks in an attempt to bring them down from the inside.

Zuko learns of his husband's tragic death, mourns, and vows revenge.

 Words Mean More at Night by DaisytheDoodleDog (28k)

Even ten years after the end of the war, rebellions rise and risk the balance of the nations. Sokka was willing to do anything to protect his people, which is perhaps why he's leading an army against the rebellion, attacking only as a last result. But Sokka's unwinding, it's taking a toll on him, and the only thing keeping him grounded are the letter Zuko and him exchange late in the night when no one can see the messenger hawks. But as they say, nothing's fair in love and war.

another word for wanting by eurydicees (23k)

Sokka begins to dream of his soulmate when he's eleven years old, and it just gets harder from there. Or, 125 moments soulmates share, and none of them come easy.

(In which your dreams are your soulmate's memories, and Sokka dreams of an all-consuming fire, growing and eating at his soulmate until it burns up the connection between their souls. In which they find love anyways.)

 It Has Only Just Begun by Kirazalea (39k)

There is a bitter triumph in crashing when you should be soaring

Zuko had now chosen the path his uncle had been trying so hard to show him; he had someone who believed in him, who maybe loved him; he was travelling with the Avatar and they apparently had a plan to end the war. By all accounts, Zuko should be smiling.

But Uncle was gone (captured by Azula, and Zuko didn't think she would kill him, but he didn’t, couldn’t, know for sure). The Avatar was barely breathing (he could still die at any second and there was nothing any of them could do about it). Azula had conquered the last Earth Kingdom stronghold (all those innocent people who were now at her mercy). It seemed like, for every step Zuko took forward, the world sent him back three more.

But he was determined to push forward anyways. He needed to make his uncle proud, even if it was the last thing he ever did.

aka: zuko joins the gaang at the end of season 2

 Nightmares and Reveries by HisMomoness (20k)

Zuko doesn't sleep because when he does, he's haunted by nightmares. Sokka worms his way into a job and makes it his mission to get Zuko to relax. Lots of head pets and one vacation to the South Pole later, Zuko might just be getting the hang of it.

Cue pining, some fluff, and eventual romance.

 The One Who Stopped Time by ohhihoney (66k)

All hope was lost to Zuko until one day, his uncle asked a random person at the Jasmine Dragon to tutor his nephew. Gritting his teeth and embarrassed beyond the point of no return, Zuko gave the blue eyed boy his number.

Little did Zuko know how much Sokka would change his world.

 Rubbed Off Stars by ohhihoney (2k)

Sokka wasn't going to just sit and watch the boy at the back of the bus cry while trying to rub off pride flags off his cheeks.

--------------

WIP

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought (168k)

After that fateful Agni Kai, Ozai makes a different call. Branded as a traitor and banished to a prison camp, Zuko learns how cruel the Fire Nation can be to its citizens. Three years, a water tribe raid, and an unexpected meeting with a gang of over-enthusiastic idealistic children puts Zuko back in the spotlight. The revolution is coming and it wants another poster boy, but Zuko is not willing to lend his face to the cause.

 Another Brother by AvocadoLove (312k)

It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.

--------------

BONUS : zuko x jet

Something to Hold Onto by Wildgoosery (122k)

Since the day the walls of Ba Sing Se fell, the Freedom Fighters have struggled to protect what remains of the city and its people. Jet and his second command, a mysterious boy named Li, have spent the summer piecing together an army, hoping for a chance to take the city back for good. But Li is also Zuko, and the time for that secret is quickly running out. Soon, he'll have to decide exactly who he is, what cause he's going to fight for, and where his heart lies.

[wingletblackbird]

My Complicated Thoughts on Merlin

I started watching Merlin because I’d seen a lot of posts about it on Tumblr and heard good things. I struggled to watch it once we got to Season 4 though. I don’t think I have ever experienced such a love/hate relationship with a series in my life. I’ve tried to figure out why I have so many mixed feelings. Writing this post is cathartic, and has led me to the ultimate conclusion that I am in love with the potential of this show, but I don’t actually like what we were given. 

The Portrayal of Oppression/Morgana’s Arc:

Morgana’s arc could have been way more interesting, but they skip over too much important character development that we needed to see. In the beginning we see that Morgana opposes Uther’s cruelty. She is portrayed as being compassionate. We sympathize with her plight, especially once she discovered she has magic. 

This leads to an interesting moral dilemma. Should Morgana simply assassinate the king? Is Merlin’s long-game with Arthur more effective or moral? Uther is killing innocents. A revolution might be considered just. 

Instead, extremely rapidly, Morgana is played as the bad guy simply because she has decided to betray Camelot. We see her slaughtering innocent people herself when she becomes Queen. Why this transition to becoming like Uther but with magic so quickly? It made sense for her to want to assassinate Uther. That does not immediately make her evil. That needed to be more gradual. I saw the motivation for her hatred of Uther. But how she became evil, that is not portrayed well at all. 

We see hints of Morgana’s self-centeredness when she refuses to leave the Druids even knowing they’ll be slaughtered. Examine that streak. Show how a good cause can be corrupted by someone who becomes drunk on hate and power. The show tries, but it doesn’t quite get there. Show me that even a righteous cause can be led by a corrupted individual. 

Worse, the show does not show the nuance in any satisfying way. Show me that Morgana’s crusade against Uther and Arthur can actually be justified given that the law indicates that they would kill her and her kind. Morgana could legitimately consider Merlin a traitor. Her initial opposition to Uther is justified. He has committed and is committing genocide. Killing him could be seen as defense herself and other innocents. This could be opposed to Merlin’s bloodless coup, if you will. Which is the better option? What are the pros and cons?

And speaking of such oppressions, Merlin frees Freya and helps with Mordred. We really could have afforded to see more about how Merlin helps sorcerers escape, or about an underground network in general. How do they see Merlin? Do they hope he will influence the future king? Do they see him as a traitor? We see hints of this throughout the show such as with Gilli, but the writers never truly take it there. The story with Gilli ended up being about the corruption of power etc., and I liked it, but there was more to that story that needed to be addressed. Is it right or wrong for Merlin to defend Uther? Does it depend on the context? There are many times Merlin does that.

How Merlin Views Arthur:

Speaking of oppression, let’s talk about the effect it has on the psyche of Merlin. When we first meet Merlin, he has a strong moral compass, and confidence in his abilities. What he does not have is good self-esteem. He wonders if he’s a monster. He struggles because he is so powerful with something that is hated and can get him and his loved ones killed. Imagine the kind of fear that can creep into your soul when you have been watching people like you get executed since you were a child. Worse, you struggle to control your own abilities. You love your magic, maybe, but you also loathe yourself for the danger. 

Merlin, then, is a prime target for believing in Destiny. It’s nice to think he has a purpose in this after all. It is pretty clear that the Dragon is being manipulative. I don’t blame him after being trapped for decades. But Merlin is vulnerable and initially starts to protect Arthur because he needs to think he has a reason to be the way he is and is not a monster.

Having said that, I think we can say that Merlin does quickly come to love and respect Arthur. He believes that Arthur is a good man and will lead a good kingdom. All of these are good reasons to stay in his service. It is a good way to eventually show Arthur that magic can be good, to get a kingdom without oppression and the bloodshed of a revolution, and to protect a man he considers a friend. 

The problem with this is that by the end of the third season, Merlin’s double or triple motivation seems to narrow down in focus to simply protecting Arthur. Okay...but when are you going to have him see magic is good? I understand Merlin not being able to outright say anything because that might make him seem like a sympathizer, or just because of a lifetime of fear. But after all that subterfuge with Dragoon the Great and you can’t come up with a way to show magic doing something good without implicating yourself? Trust in Arthur’s character that you extol?

The fact is that by not revealing his magic to Arthur at the multiple different opportunities offered implies that Merlin does not in fact believe that Arthur is the man Merlin claims he is. I equally understand that growing up under that kind of oppression Merlin is not thinking straight. (Gaius does not help.) Furthermore, once you’ve risked your life to protect a man, it can become very hard to back out because you’ve already lost too much. It can also be hard to admit to secrecy after years of a relationship. But Merlin’s actions show that in the end, he does not trust Arthur, which is why he was supposed to have been protecting him. This suggests that Merlin is really just being emotionally manipulated. He has grown up in this oppression, and wants to believe his magic is good, and he has sacrificed too much, lost too much, at his point so he protects Arthur...even at the cost of other’s of his kind. 

If anything, Merlin goes from a kind-hearted boy who rescued people like Freya...to being willing to turn a blind eye to their suffering....!? Merlin goes from confident in the first season, with a clear moral compass...to being less so later on? When in theory, especially with Uther dead, he should be safer? More willing to take risks? 

There is another military aspect to consider as well. Morgana is a legitimate threat and without magic, Camelot cannot defend itself well. By not telling Arthur about his magic, or by not finding a way to make Arthur think about magic, Merlin is endangering everyone in Camelot. Arthur cannot defend his kingdom without the tools he needs. Merlin is now disrespecting his king, and making the decisions that are Arthur’s to make. How can Arthur command his armies without vital information? Merlin is powerful enough to be able to flee Camelot on the off chance Arthur tries to execute him. (In which case, maybe Merlin should join the other side.) He chooses to risk every life in Camelot rather than reveal his secret and help Arthur plan. That was acceptable for a minor coup when Morgana first took over. It’s not so great as the stakes progress.  Merlin was always willing to risk his life to do the right thing. And yet, when it counts the most, when Arthur is the one on the throne, he doesn’t?

This is never addressed in any satisfactory manner. 

Arthur’s Arc and Unfulfilled Expectations: 

This leads us to Arthur’s character arc. If Arthur’s character had shown Merlin the same respect in later seasons as in the first couple, I don’t think Merlin would have been placed in the position of having to truly betray his kind or indicate his trust in Arthur was wrong. Arthur even early in their relationship, like with Valiant, listens to Merlin. However, in later seasons, after so many years of faithful service, (and being right), Arthur is quick to dismiss him. (And then even that might get reversed in a dime...what are the writers thinking?) Of everyone from the knights to Gwen, Merlin is afforded the least recognition or respect it feels like at times.

Arthur also in the beginning showed concern for his friend. Additionally, he showed great concern in his own constipated way for Merlin’s feelings when he was down. Not so much in the later years... Why?

Moreover, has Arthur really learned to treat everyone as equals? Or only the one’s who have done something for him?

I don’t blame Arthur for his stance on magic much, because he has little reason to believe otherwise. However, in the earlier seasons we see him defying his father over things like killing Mordred, a child. Yet, in later seasons, he never seems able to step out of his father’s shadow. Never seems to truly realize how abysmal his father’s rule was. The Arthur of the early seasons ought to have grown enough to be able to do that, and therefore safely allow magic again. This does not happen. He is shown as being devastated by what he did to the druids...is this ever followed up on? 

This leads into unfulfilled expectations. Arthur was supposed to usher in a period of peace. Did he? No. And no matter what Kilgharrah says, I’m not buying it. If they had framed Kilgharrah as lying about that and manipulating poor Merlin for revenge, it would have made for a dreadful tragedy. As it is, it’s just a huge let down. If they had shown Merlin to be a tragic victim of oppression and manipulation who ended up not serving the man he thought he was...it would have been horrifying but interesting. As it is, I just hate it. 

Why would I want to watch someone who has been oppressed and threatened with death, lose everything to protect what he hoped would be his friend and his freedom, only to have to live with just being used? And be told that eventually, if you wait long enough, then you will have succeeded? That this was a good thing?! Is framed as a good thing? NO! I was sold a story about a man in a position of power being befriended by a man who has been oppressed. The man in power learns from his friend and becomes a man who helps liberate the oppressed. Together they create a better world. Eventually, the man in power dies tragically and we all cry. Instead I got this absolute garbage.  

I can see why Merlin’s fandom is so prolific. It is perfect for fanfic, because we have an interesting premise and interesting characters, but god-awful canon-writing. BBC Merlin is garbage with potential. 

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 34

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, guns

A/N: i do realise i’m very VERY late with this post but i’m growing too attached to this fanfic. hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

    - You know Sebastian, just because your father was a great man, doesn’t mean he was a good one. 

Sebastian watched as she left the room, the trail of her dress disappearing between the edge of the door and leaving him frozen where he was. There was probably not a single person in the whole entire world who could freeze him for what seemed like more than an hour, yet Y/N seemed to hold that power effortlessly, something she could easily control. What looked like someone who’d always be there no matter what was slipping like sand through his fingers. 

He rubbed his face, walking over to the good selection of glass filled bottles to pour himself another glass. What was he doing? Was he really about to marry someone who despised him and who he couldn’t stand when the girl he wanted was asking him to leave? Maybe he could pay off Forrest and move to a new country with Y/N after transferring all his money to other offshores. Surely he could do that without calling much attention.

A loud sound rang through the room and his eyes glued to the phone on his bedside table. He was sure he’d never heard an actual hotel phone ring and that alone intrigued him. He grabbed the phone from the hook, bringing it up to his ear.

    - Hello? - shaky and heavy breathes came from behind and he started to wonder if someone was trying to play a prank on him. - Hello?

    - S…Sebastian, it’s Y/N … - he could almost hear her cry which made him grip the phone. - I’m scared, Sebastian. I’m scared.

    - Are you alright? 

    - I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. 

    - Angel, whatever it is, you can tell me.

    - I’m pregnant.

For the second time, the same exact person had managed to freeze him on the spot yet again but what was most worrying for him was why she was crying and why she was telling him in the phone. He kept calling her name on the phone but before he could even get an answer the line went dead. Without much of a second thought, he dropped the phone and rushed out of his bedroom, going up the stairs where her bedroom was located. The numbers seemed to mock him as he tried to run as fast as his legs could allow him to her bedroom. Knocking on the dark wood as forcefully as he could, he found no answer and without much prior thought or consideration for hotel staff, he grabbed his revolver to shot the lock open which led to an empty room. He looked around with the agility of a cheetah and eye of a predator but she wasn’t anywhere to be found and with more worry settling on his chest, he ran over to Gwen’s bridal suite where Y/N’s bodyguard was standing.

Surely if he was standing there she would be safe inside and the call was maybe Y/N being playful. Yet again, something in the back of his mind made him unreliably restless and so, much to the groans of some of the women waiting outside the bridal suite, he walked inside the room to be met with girlish high pitched screaming about how it was bad luck to see the bride in the wedding dress. How much bad luck could it bring to a made up wedding he didn’t know but in all honesty he didn’t care and mostly ignored the rest of the bridesmaids as he looked for Y/N who was nowhere to be seen.

   - Where’s Y/N?

   - Probably somewhere else. God, Sebastian could you at least follow some traditions? You could give me at least a few hours of freedom before I become a Stepford wife. - her eyes were mostly focused on her glass of prosecco rather than him which greatly annoyed him. - Y/N wanders around, she’s probably outside or with Jude Dubois, they’re awfully close. 

   - Was she with you a few minutes ago? - he ignored how uninterested Gwen was in her handmaid’s whereabouts.

   - I don’t know now would you kindly leave? This is my bridal party and you’re not part of it. 

Sebastian quickly realised she wasn’t here and Gwen barely care if she would return or not. He returned back upstairs to her bedroom, maybe she had been in the bathroom when he came to check on her. His mind kept yelling at him something was wrong and even the most rational part of him, the one that normally overwhelmed everything else, was telling him that Y/N wouldn’t call him like that, telling him she was scared. What worried him more was she being pregnant, he wondered if she was safe and if the baby was safe, with little to no regard at what consequences her being pregnant would be. 

He paced inside her bedroom but nonetheless it was empty with the smell of lilies and roses belonging to her fragrance lingering around. Sebastian sat down on top of her bed, sighing out of frustration and worry. There was no sign of anything bad happening in the bedroom, everything was tidy and kept to perfection except for one opened drawer of her bedside table. He wondered if Y/N had decided to leave with Jude Dubois and that call had been nothing but a joke but yet again, he could feel something was wrong, he heard it on her voice, her trembling breathy voice. That wasn’t the voice of someone who was playing tricks on him. His heart ached, completely ached in a type of pain that he couldn’t remember ever feeling. Something was wrong, something bad was happening and he couldn’t find a rational reason that would put her in a safe situation.

As he got more lost in his own thoughts, his phone rang. He picked his phone from his pocket to see Y/N’s name as the caller ID. However, before his heart could slow down from the mere stress of not knowing about her whereabouts, his whole body tensed as he recognised the voice way too well.

   - How are the wedding preparations? Busy enough? - Mr. Williams’ voice came through the phone with a pompous tone, almost proud. - Have you ever noticed how Y/N squeals every time someone grabs her? I wonder if that gets you off.

  - Listen to me, if she’s not in my hotel room in less than half hour, you’re a dead man. I’ll ... - anger dripped from his voice.

  - No, you listen to me. - he interrupted. - You don’t have the upper hand in this situation so I would watch your tone unless you want her head as your wedding present. Now ... I am a fair man, I don’t enjoy killing innocents just for it specially pretty girls like her. I’m sure we can reach an agreement.

  - You don’t want to start a war with me. If you touch even a single hair of hers, I swear I’ll make sure both my men and Forrest’s will go after you. 

  - Yes, I’m sure Michael Forrest will love to know his precious daughter is pregnant from you. It must sting, knowing that it was her you were supposed to marry. - he froze on the spot once more, unsure if he was once more playing games on him or if he had dropped. - You’ve always been like your mother, so gullible. You didn’t even bother check on any of the two girls, how they had the same birthday or how she was the only one to inherit a whole family’s estate? It only took a few documents to prove that yet you didn’t do it. I never pegged you to let your guard down for a pretty girl yet here we are.

His head hurt, his heart pounded harshly in a way that made it sound through his skull and all he wanted to do was scream and kill him. Flashes of her face and how she would always smile at him crossed through his mind as his own voice blamed him for her situation. 

   - Meet me at the Lotte New York Palace Hotel in an hour and maybe we can strike a deal. 

   - What makes you think I won’t just kill you? 

   - You don’t know how many people in your inner circle are loyal to me. If you tell anyone or if you try any little games, there’s several of my men who’d love a way with your little mistress and I’ll make sure to tape it so you can watch it later. Don’t cross me. - the line went dead.

He stood there, helpless, surrounded by her scent and belongings which only reminded him more of her. Every single memory he had of her seemed to hit his mind like a freight train from the first time he had seen her from his most recent denial of running away with her. He could almost feel her finger tips on his jaw, hear her little laugh whenever something pleased her, every thing was still so fresh, so recent. His ears were ringing as he noticed the little music box he had gotten to her on her bedside table. His hands reached for it, cradling the box close to him which caused it to snap open, the soft melody of La Vie en Rose flowing into the bedroom.

He promised. He promised her in Paris that nothing could harm her yet here he was, unsure of her state and helpless to fix anything the way he knew. He broke his promise, he broke his promise and for what? A family name? Her safety? She wasn��t safe either way. That thought itself drowned any emotion in his face. It was a blank slate and not even his eyes where Y/N could always find the truth of what his heart was going through seemed to show anything other than the pure void. 

Placing the music box on the pocket of his jacket, he exited her room and, almost mechanically, made his way down the hall, ignoring every single person who tried to talk to him or even congratulate him. Soon enough he was at the parking lot, entering his car so he could ride to the Lotte New York Palace. He was early, much early but all he could think about was seeing her again, see her safe despite anything. 

The hour seemed to go by incredibly slow but everything comes to an end and once the deadline reached its expiration, Thompson Williams walked into the hotel bar, sporting an irritable smile on his face as he sat on the high chair next to him. 

   - Why so gloom? - he taunted, for the first time holding power over the man he considered had stolen his golden opportunity of success. - Might it be because you have no control anymore? You let her be around me, I learned how she acts, I knew she wasn’t gonna scream and I knew if I endangered anyone she would do what I told her. So innocent, I can see why you like her.

   - What do you want? - Sebastian only stared at him, trying to not let the guilt or his comments affect him. At this point, he just wanted her to be back to him safely. Revenge could wait. 

   - Here. - he slide a document file towards him. - You’re gonna reside from your position within the family in my favour. Sign that document and you can go on your merry life with her, maybe use that little house Forrest gave her, have the kid. You were never made for this life anyway.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​​​​​​​ @xoxohannahlee​​​​​​​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​​​​​​​ @nikkipea​​​​​​​ @madisonpillstrom​​​​​​​ @cevans98​​​​​​​ @thelostallycat​​​​​​​ @sideeffectsofyou​​​​​​​ @anxiousdreamersworld​​​​​​​ @captainchrisstan​​​​​​​ @lookiamtrying​​​​​​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​​​​​ @stuffforreferences​​​​​​​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​​​​​​​ @nsfwsebbie​​​​​​​ @strangerliaa​​​​​​​ @emzd34​​​​​​​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​​​​​​​ @dreams-in-blxck​​​​​​​ @krismeunicornbaobei

[mc-critical]

hey, welcome back! hope your exams and stuff went well, and that you're doing fine now.

i wanted to hear your opinion on nigar hatun. i remember seeing one post of yours in which you said that she wasn't a favourite of yours like you favoured other characters and honestly, same. i didn't really much understand the fascination with her. she was an interesting character, but i can't imagine having her as a favourite when there are so many more characters who are far more interesting. i wish they gave her an alternate arc. idk what it could be, i'd like to hear your opinion on it. one alternative ending i came up for her is that she was extremely angry at ibrahim for toying with her and hatice for keeping her sweet little esmanur from her so she joins hurrem to defeat them? which hurrem did try but it didn't really go anywhere and nigar was against hurrem for killing ibrahim which just was kinda frustrating. they literally give hurrem no ally in the harem [except mihrimah later on but mihri is overall varying in terms of power] so it would be good for her to have some support in the harem from people who actually hated her enemies like her. she had actual political support from iskender celebi, rustem, and ayaz pasha and all, sure, but she didn't have much support in the harem, like all powerful women of the harem were against her. nigar obviously wasn't powerful like a sultan but she was an old member of the harem, was respected and even though she kinda lost her dignity with the scandal, she could've regained it with hurrem's help. sumbul was there later on but he was just a very faithful servant and didn't really have any real motive to harm any of hurrem's enemies except for out of his loyalty whilst nigar could've cultivated a hatred for hatice and ibrahim. this is a basic plot but i would've kinda liked seeing it. there can be many more ways her character could've ended but it would be good seeing a woman who didn't bow to her feelings all the time. the sultanas couldn't really control their feelings when it came to love because they were princesses who were used to getting what they wanted most of the time but nigar was a servant who also suffered the hardships of slavery and it obviously would've made her tougher as a person so she could control her feelings better; idk, i feel like this is an aspect of women they could've explored [or if they did explore it, i don't remember it lol my memory lapses a lot so i don't remember the show 100%] anyway, would like to hear your thoughts on nigar. thank you. welcome back again <3

Thank you! <33 Yup, I'm fine and the exams went well. Happy Pride month to you, too! 🏳️‍🌈

Hehe, I wrote that post years ago and while Nigar still isn't one of my absolute favourite characters, I've warmed up to her quite a bit. And honestly, now with the wider experience in the fandom, I can say that she isn't all that loved as it looks like. I then was under the limited wrong impression that the BG Mamma forum was a metric of all the popular opinions and yes, they loved Nigar a lot and I was sometimes confused as to why, but really, that and the Russian fanbase are the only places I have encountered that appreciate her all that much. There are characters I find more interesting than her, that's for sure, but she has her charm and I'm firmly against people reducing her to "evil" or "manipulative" or "weak after she fell in love with Ibrahim", so forth.

The thing she sets her first impression with is her intelligence caused by her relatively high experience in the harem. The advice she gave to Hürrem opened the path to her whole goal (as she herself acknowledged in E41) and that makes for quite an impact for a more recurring character. Despite of this, I never viewed early Nigar as someone taking an open side, hence I didn't find her supposed betrayal to Hürrem surprising in the slightest: she is also trying to survive in this environment in any way she knows how and she can't really find a fully comfortable position, because she is well aware that everyone is thinking for their own gain in the end. Including her. So the only choice she has left is to direct herself to where the wind is blowing and get advantages for herself once she gets the chance. Because all the experience has taught her to repress her feelings (E10 to Hürrem: "In this castle you can't show weakness."), opt to be the more level-headed person and seek for the more pragmatic solutions.

And yet she is very sensitive and perceptive to people that are different than the others or that are in need and is willing to lend them her hand. She adviced and helped Hürrem because she found potential in her, because she wanted to see her succeed, but not through endangering her own self or other people in the process (she told Hürrem that her game had gone too far again in E41), but through negotiation, compromise and adaption, to know when to start and when to stop and be respectful to those above her, no matter how hard or limiting that may look in Hürrem's eyes. Hürrem had the tendency in viewing every sign of support that came to her as granted, she still had that naive part of innocence in her in S01 and early on was in a desparate need of someone to lean on and unconditionally follow her path, that's why when Nigar diverted from that path, it hurt and took her a while to start trusting her again. But I didn't see Nigar as all that attached to Hürrem as Hürrem herself thought she was, especially with how Nigar became stuck between two sultanas later in S01 and that rendered her lost and more insecure than usual.

That's also why I don't view her as a two-faced or hypocritical double-crosser. Because for the longest time, Nigar was the one character in the series before Rüstem appeared that was clearly thinking about her own benefit and survival first and foremost from the beginning when darting between the powerful people in the harem and was the one well aware that she simply can't cling to a single side in her own position. Positions aren't permanent and can always change in such circumstances, so why can't she take advantage of this? Because who cares as much about the feelings for a Kalfa they can still order around after all? She has faced disregard from Mahidevran, Hürrem, Ibrahim and even Hatice. It is pretty understandable that she's going to seek the best opportunity for herself.

That whole facade breaks when she falls in love with Ibrahim. During rewatch, I found myself to have a soft spot for this character deconstruction, especially in S02. I know that it came to pass because of her falling in love with a man that doesn't share the same feelings and there were moments where it looked like she overdid it, even in S02, but for me, the whole thing nicely added a new layer of depth, while still feeling true to Nigar's character. Her future relationship with Ibrahim had been building up back in S01, when Ibrahim (both inadvertently and not I fully believe) played a part in helping her solve the first internal conflict she had (that is the struggle between the two sultanas). Maybe this didn't mean that much to Ibrahim, maybe he was simply trying to be helpful, but it meant a lot to Nigar - that was probably the first time someone seemed to take her feelings into account and actually listen when she couldn't help, but crack under the pressure. So it is only natural that she would search for this source of comfort once again, being ready to face every risk in the process. When she is appointed to Hatice and Ibrahim's castle, when she's practically left alone with Ibrahim, she decides to take that chance, to taste the forbidden fruit. He gave her something she never received and due to her not allowing herself to show weakness and having to cave to everyone else's demands before that, every ounce of affection Ibrahim shows her, it means the world to her. Thus she begins to idealize what she has with him, to the point of denial and delusion, and centers her loyalty completely on him. But that loyalty never seems to falter.  She began to resent and/or hate everyone who could possibly stand in Ibrahim's way, something she wouldn't have ever done before. She keeps her level-headed self and intelligence (I don't think that this plot line reduced it in any way, not even when she was at her worst.) and she's ready to take any opportunity for herself (case in point: her marriage with Rüstem.), but now her softer sides and her wish for affection are showing all the more.

The problem I have with Nigar's character, writing-wise, and now that I think about it, the main subject of why I didn't get the deal with her back then (along with considering her S01 self bland.. somehow?), is her S03B characterization. While her falling in love with Ibrahim plot-line became an important part of S02 Nigar's storyline, I don't think it overshadowed or dominated over her other characteristics, making for a neat balance of traits and an interesting, nuanced character. In an attempt to keep her for longest time possible in the story, S03B flanderized her in every possible way and overexaggerated her biggest strengths and flaws until they became stale and unbelievable. Her love for Ibrahim read as а near obsession narratively and her opportunism coupled with her will for revenge, which put her into many repetitive intrigues. At one point I even felt she was reduced to a plot-device (the moment Şah Sultan appointed her as a spy) and she felt a little too purposeless and to have totally outstayed her welcome until her last moment in the series.

The root of this problem is again, that they just didn't know when to stop with Nigar. To be brutally honest, she had no long-term role left to play after Ibrahim's death and it was time for the writers to let her go and maintain her generally strong characterization. The ending I would've chosen for her is to simply have Matrakcı give her Esmanur's location and for her to live with her daughter in piece. I know that because of the tonal shift, the show seemed to be already inclined that everyone had to have a tragic ending of sorts, to underline the growing ruthlessness and cruelty of the themes, but I fully believe that Nigar was one of the only characters that were terribly forced through their tragic endings. She didn't need, nor deserve a tragic ending and I doubt it would've been such a problem for the half-season if she didn't get one. I find a happier ending to be perfectly fine for Nigar and I would've loved to see it, if only for a freshness in ideas for character endings. I loved her Esmanur storyline and to witness her finding happiness with her, the only solace she had left, would have been a great wrap up of her S03 plots and an amazing send-off to Nigar's character.

I appreciate the thought you have put into your ending for her and to be fair, your proposal would be much better than anything S03B gave us. It would nearly correspond with the revenge plot of hers they were going for and it would be something more original at the same time. Hürrem's principal lack of allies doesn't bother me as a fact alone, because all her enemies have understandable reasons to be against her, but what bothers me however, is when the writers try using it to dumb her enemies down and make them doom themselves through their own failings or outright use it to put forced (often soapy) conflicts to make the audience sympathize with Hürrem. Or to make everyone "mistitle" her (is that a word? probably not.) or disrespect her on purpose again for sympathy points (that go beyond the part of her motivation that wants to feel respected and does stuff out of fear not to fall under a less favorable position once again.), without changing the status-quo until say, S04.

It is so deliberate it becomes annoying and seeing something else for a change... honestly, gimme! While I personally prefer a happy ending for Nigar, I would live for Nigar and Hürrem to work together again, while keeping what's become her central motivation intact. It may seem a little OOC for Nigar to work for Hürrem by that point, because she's channeled her loss of the most precious people into rage on those that have taken them away, but it would be a decent shifting of gears and a reverence to her opportunism to work to eradicate those she hates for good, even if it means doing so with one of your bigger enemies. After all, after the mission is fulfilled, she could still work against Hürrem in some way, right?

[Tell me if I got what you meant wrongly, but there is an example of a dynasty sultana putting her love feelings behind and by that I mean Şah Sultan. Her love is in the past by the point she arrived in the castle and her love for Ibrahim is only used as a conflict between her and Hatice, which they get over relatively quick. Sisterly love and ambition are a much bigger priority of Şah's: she cared about Hatice past any resentment she may have harbored over the years and agreed to share her life with Lütfi for the advantage this may bring, even though she didn't love him at all. She divorced him only when he offended the pride of a woman and her own personal pride. Other than that, we indeed didn't have a female character in MC that puts her feelings behind in design as far as I recall, only ones that end up clinging to them completely like Nigar here or ones that let go of them eventually like Mahidevran. Characters that have this design by default are more present in MCK like Safiye, or Turhan, or especially Gülbahar, but as I've said many times, MCK is more ruthless, while MC is more about the personal feelings of the characters, hence every motivation they have is somehow tied to them.]

[fluffyglass]

THE MR. RUDE APOLOGISM MASTERPOST

you may be asking "Oh dear god what has Finn gotten up to this time?" well, that my friend, is a very valid question! The answer to which is as follows: He's rewatched every single TMMS segment with Mr. Rude in it to prove that he's done nothing wrong!

After many many hours of rewatching, I've come to some conclusions on the depressed tomato man. I'll give a quick rundown here, then throw my episode by episode analysis under the cut.

Season 1

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 1.

In only 3 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 4 of the episodes where he's innocent, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Season 2

Mr. Rude is in 30 episodes in Season 2.

In only 6 of these episodes does he do anything wrong.

In 1 of the episodes where he's innocent, as well as one where he did do something wrong, Mr. Fussy yells at him for no reason.

Conclusions

In total, Mr. Rude only actually did anything wrong in 9 out of the 60 segments he's in, which is 15%. That's less than a quarter of the time. Even counting the three episodes I was unsure about, that's only 12/60. 20%. Still less than a quarter.

Why have I been bringing up Mr. Fussy? Because this experience genuinely made me not like him anymore. In only one out of Mr. Fussy's 7 appearances with Mr. Rude does he not yell at him, and in five of the times he does - it was completely unjustified.

Now, onto the episode by episode section!

Ah, you wanna see my episode by episode analysis? Well, I'll give you a quick color legend first.

Yellow - Mr. Rude does nothing wrong

Red - Mr. Rude does something wrong

Blue - Mr. Fussy yells at Mr. Rude for no reason

Pink - I have no idea what to put for this one lmao

Also, there's a ton of cursing in here because I wrote these notes as I went along and I don't feel like editing them to be more professional. You get what you get when it comes to Mr. Rude apologism.

SEASON 1

Flying - He does nothing wrong, he just asked Mr. Grumpy to do his fucking job. Though, I will admit, he was a dick about it.

Music - He does nothing wrong, Miss Naughty is a fucking bitch and Mr. Fussy targeted him for no got damn reason even though he has fucking ears and should have heard Miss Naughty going off on her fucking cymbals. Miss Naughty also tried to poison him so

Farm - He does nothing wrong, those bitch ass crows broke his fucking robot I cant believe this.

Booboos - He does nothing wrong, he literally just wants some decent service while he is in the fucking hospital and Mr. Scatterbrain is a fucking moron about it

Mall - He's barely in it and I will admit he is a bit of an asshole in this one but he doesn't do anything explicitly wrong

Birthday - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to buy a birthday present for his homie Mr. Grumpy. In fact, he shows that he cares about his friend because he knows what he would want (and gets something he wouldnt like, presumably as a joke). Hes a caring friend but also a troll.

Superstore - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to return his shitty toaster. It ends up well for everyone involved :)

Books - He does nothing wrong, he is literally just neurodivergent and cannot read social situations

Camping - He does nothing wrong, he tried to warn everyone that they were going the wrong way, and then called out Miss Whoops on her fucking bullshit and putting everyone in danger. He then proceeded to fucking die. Miss Daredevil doesnt even give a shit about two of the raft riders fucking dying what the fuck.

Paint - He does nothing wrong, he just wants to finish his painting commission.

Jobs - This is the one I time I'll admit he does something really wrong. He commits multiple driving related crimes, as well as throwing his sandwich at Mr. Quiet, splashing Mr. Nosey and Mr. Small, and taking advantage of Mr. Scatterbrain's stupidity. He also crumpled up Mr. Scatterbrain's drawing of a hamster.

Trains - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy's a bitch ass motherfucker, and he did more good than bad because he rescued Mr. Messy at the end.

Fair - He does nothing wrong, he got a fucking pie yeeted at him of course he wouldn't like it. He does put the pie in Mr. Scatterbrain's face though but he already got it in his face so it's just even now. He then proceeds to be pelted with pies. But thankfully it seems like they're both having fun by the end.

Movies - Yeah he's a bit of an asshole in this one. He puts too much cheese on Mr. Happy's nachos (and then throws them at him). He does get his karma though cause he gets fucking trapped in the popcorn machine someone please save him oh my god.

Dance - He does nothing wrong, he just has taste.

Inventions - He does nothing wrong, Miss Chatterbox just doesnt like him for the way he is which is super fucked up of her. What the fuck, man. He accepts Miss Chatterbox's invention regardless. He then proceeds to be abused by everyone around him. Hes totally justified in being mean at the end.

Amusement Park - Okay yeah he was an asshole in this one, cause he was rude to Miss Calamity about her supposed grooming habits. However, he was also abused a lot during multiple of the bumpers, which I guess counts as karma.

Adventure - He literally doesnt even do anything in this one

Rainy Day - Dude, his entire fucking family died. Give him a break.

Games - He did nothing wrong, he won the fucking game but Mr. Scatterbrain took the credit what the fuck he only had 3 POINTS MR RUDE HAD 4 MR. HAPPY YOU DUMB YELLOW FUCK LEARN HOW TO COUNT

Restaurants - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Fussy is so fucking mean to him I will never get over this he deserves so much better what the fuck

Cars - he's just vibin man

Canned Goods - He does nothing wrong, he just ate some beans man

Collecting - he's barely in it and just kinda vibes

Full Moon - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got kidnapped by some fucking aliens with his alien husband

Heatwave - He does nothing wrong, 6 gay men just casually committed acts of Home Invasion and are going to be arrested for their crimes against him.

Sleep - He does nothing wrong, and I doubt anyone would have even noticed he was asleep if Miss Chatterbox kept her fucking mouth shut. He cant control what hes doing if hes fucking asleep. Even after all that he still clapped for Mr. Fussy, who hates him, at the end. What a champ.

Carwash - He does nothing wrong, Miss Calamity technically fucking kidnapped him what the fuck.

Lawns - He does nothing wrong, he didn't want to take his lawn to begin with and then got his lawn ruined for literally no reason, even after warning Me. Nosey and Mr. Small that their invention was gonna explode. He even gave Miss Chatterbox the joy in knowing she "won".

Parade - He does nothing wrong, he legit just made a float and Mr. Fussy fucking bullied him for it. What the fuck.

SEASON 2

Clean Teeth - Yeah hes a bitch in this one but Mr. Fussy was also a bitch so it evens out.

Airports - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted to go on his flight. Of anything, Miss Scary was more rude than he was.

Game Shows - He does nothing wrong like. Genuinely nothing, and then gets physically assaulted.

Hats - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Grumpy's just a fucking bitch and took credit for both his and Mr. Tickles hats. What the fuck, man.

Robots - He does nothing wrong, he legit just got his baguette burnt wtf

Up and Down - He's fine for the first bit but I will admit hes an asshole in the second one

Gifts - He does nothing wrong, he's just trying to keep Mr. Tickle from fucking assaulting people. Then his entire store is destroyed for no reason.

Sun and Moon - He does nothing wrong, he barely did anything at all

Telephone - I refused to watch this one I just know hes a bitch in it

Washing and Drying - He does nothing wrong, he just wanted his laundry done and he got assaulted at the end. Why is this a trend.

Fruit - He stole Miss Sunshines fucking fruit and then proceeded to endanger everyone around him by driving recklessly. What the fuck, man.

Radio - He does nothing wrong, Mr. Scatterbrain is just a moron, and Miss Whoops is a dumbass.

Supermarket - ???

Cinema - He doesn't do anything wrong, and he looks very nice in his new hat.

Post Office - He doesn't do anything wrong, hes trying his best okay (he also gets covered in stamps at the end)

Pets - He doesn't do anything wrong, he doesn't do anything at all

Dance Dance Dance - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Fussy's a fucking bitch

Trees - He doesn't do anything wrong, someone free him

Library - He didnt even do anything man

Pirates - He doesn't do anything wrong, in fact he is the first to jump in and protect his crewmates from the aliens. He also saves the entire space crew in the end.

Trains and Planes - He doesn't do anything wrong, he barely does anything to begin with

Out to Sea - He doesn't do anything wrong, it makes sense for him to act in his own self interest because he was stuck on a deserted island with those three morons for 30 fucking days. He didn't intend to take the boat, because the tide rolled him out. He is now inevitably going to die.

Next Door - Yeah hes a bitch in this one, but he didnt deserve to get his fucking car crushed.

Lunch - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn drew first blood.

Machines - This is a weird one. Is he really in the wrong for wanting to go home? I mean, it's safe to assume Miss Giggles is fucking dead if she was taken by a dinosaur. He even vows not to doubt Miss Daredevil at the end and is happy to see Miss Giggles okay

Fairies and Gnomes - even though he thinks it's silly that Mr. Nervous is scared of a garden gnome, he still "arrests" it to make him happy :)

Home Improvement - He doesn't do anything wrong, Mr. Stubborn is just a moron.

Birds - He doesn't do anything wrong, he was even nice enough to invite Mr. Nervous along for the birdwatching trip. He's totally justified in not giving a shit about Mr. Fussy because Mr. Fussy has been nothing bit horrible to him the entire show.

Parks - He does nothing wrong he just wanted a burger

Surprises - Refused to watch this one again, I just know hes a bitch

Wow, that's a lot. Anyways, as a proud Mr. Rude apologist, I conclude that he's an innocent man and doesn't deserve the shit he gets. I can get taking his drivers license though that man cannot drive for the life of him

[darth-schism]

Evidence to Suggest that Luke was NOT all that he seemed in TLJ

Luke Skywalker may have isolated himself because of his guilt/depression. But I also believe he did it for practical reasons, and that his “totally given up” act, was just that, an act. Evidence for this Head-cannon/interpretive take:

1. He made a map to his location

Not only that, but it was so specific, it was literally called “The Map to Skywalker.” The only way it would have gotten a name as tailored as that is if someone else had found him before Rey, or, if he told people about it himself. In any event, to whatever varying degree, Luke wanted to be found and/or influence the galaxy around him.

One piece of the map was  tossed around to all sorts of corners of the galaxy, while the rest of it was entrusted to R2D2. 

2. This was a deliberate combo to serve two different purposes

          - Keep Snoke distracted: The entirety of TFA was Kylo and Snoke obsessing over Luke’s location. Their preoccupation with it was evident and, instead of letting them focus on relentlessly attacking the New Republic, Luke gave them a reason to go on wild goose chases. Consider that Snoke doesn’t go ‘all in’ on trying to destroy the Resistance until after he realizes he lost the race to get to Skywalker. Which shows just how much stock he had put into that singular Jedi. What’s more, even if they had succeeded, they’d only have a useless fraction with no reference as to where in the galaxy Luke’s secret location actually was.      

          - Meanwhile, R2D2 would also play the role of a “given up/powered down” hero: But we see that, soon as the coast is clear, and some plot heroes arrive with the map, he assessed the situation, turned on, and sent them right to Skywalker. I think it’s safe to say that R2D2 was merely in ‘sleep mode,’ as opposed to ‘shut down.’ However, despite all this, the element of being powered down/unassuming was still crucial because... 

3. Snoke made it abundantly clear that when he found Skywalker, he’d blow up the entire landmass he was found, or even theorized to be, on

Luke would never put a population of innocents at risk of complete annihilation just because someone might to recognize him at a local market. So it’s no wonder he chose a place as isolated as he did (On top of that, considering his critical stance towards the Jedi Order by 28ish ABY, it wouldn’t necessarily be a heartbreak to him if the island did end up getting destroyed, or one to anyone else really, because of how obscure/unknown it was...or so he convinced himself).

4. He was picking his battles

If Luke Skywalker wanted to be found. Then why was he so dismissive of Rey? There’s no solid evidence here (aside from the whole existence of the map scheme), but I think there’s good reason to believe that Luke’s instant stand-offish behavior is one of caution and assessment not dissimilar how how Yoda and Kenobi put up an initial façade when they were discovered in exile (but more on that later). In any event, this approach would give him the means to offer personalized help to those who ended up on his doorstep. It honestly didn’t take Luke long to go from tossing his father’s lightsaber, to offering Rey the three lessons she needed to understand the force better. Although I believe Rey’s visit to Luke was far different than what others had probably been but (again) more on that later.

5. He was able leave anytime he wanted

The very clear image of Luke’s submerged X-Wing in the ocean painted a picture of cut ties, and a “no going back” stance. However, it wasn’t the first time that starfighter had been at the bottom of a water bed, and clearly it wasn’t the last. I’m inclined to believe that this is another part of Luke’s deliberate presentation of a hero who had lost all hope. But all speculation aside, there was nothing to physically stop Luke from leaving that island whenever he wanted. There’s nothing to say that he didn’t break form/character operate to find a way to undermine Snoke further.

6. He was actively protecting others close to him

There was a reason Luke getting Grogu at the end of Season 2 of The Mandalorian caused such a stir in Disney, and caused Kennedy to go for Faverau’s throat. All “who’s idea was who’s” arguments aside. At the end of the day it created two possible outcomes for this element of the Star Wars franchise: Either Grogu died in Kylo’s attack. Or there were survivors. Since killing the money making Baby Yoda isn’t necessarily on Disney’s to do list, it’s a reasonable bet that he survives the slaughter (unless he’s returned to Din’s side before Kylo goes ballistic, in which case he avoids it all together). But even if that does happen, this theory still holds a little water). Luke lying low, and operating in secret may have been the only way he was keeping himself, the galaxies citizens, and his few remaining students from getting hit with an orbital strike. 

7. He was never fully disconnected from the force.

Perhaps, somewhat disconnected, but it’s clear that Luke hasn’t cut himself off from the force as much as he, perhaps, wanted to admit. Luke is still able to effortlessly summon a weapon, keep control of the duel between himself and Rey, and gently lower his body to the ground when he loses his footing. Despite his stance on using/taking ownership of the force in TLJ, it seems as though Luke kept just enough around so that he could still fight. This theory is more optimistically minded than some of the others, but I still can’t help but think that Luke kept these reserves of power ready, because he already had to use them more than once during his supposed isolation.

8. Rey’s visit was different than the others who had come before.

“You went straight into the Dark. It offered you something you needed, and you didn’t even try to stop yourself.” 

“I've seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now.”

Other plot heroes/adventurers may have come, gone, or even convinced Luke to help them in secret. So assuming all, or even some, of the above is true, then that means Luke wasn’t just pushing to dismiss Rey, but also disillusion her. I think this is because Rey wasn’t there to get help with a specific mission, rescue, etc, but there to have Luke become the public symbol of hope again. And we’ve already listed the reasons why this couldn’t happen. On top of that, this push was done in a way that directly conflicted with all the “none theorized” reasons Luke had isolated himself. Luke knew he couldn’t accommodate this. He sensed the darkness in Rey. He sensed her connection to Kylo. In many ways his lessons also doubled as a means to properly evaluate Rey, and confirm his suspicions. In any event, all of this brought up an element of his isolation that no one else knew. He already had the, half truth, story as to what happened to his temple well rehearsed. But it was Rey’s visit that dragged out his greatest regret, which was his near attempt to take Ben’s life, due to both the mind bending fear Snoke had manipulated into palce, and the hypocritical, and self destructive Jedi philosophies that had been drilled in to his head. This was the final straw that made him want to destroy the Jedi texts. But it was also the push he needed to find inner peace, and think of the means to make one last public appearance, without endangering anyone.  

9. In no interpretation is Luke an attempt child killer 

This is more of a bonus point in nature. I think so many people were caught off guard by the narrative choice Luke undertook in this part of the film, that it painted the whole ordeal in a far more unfavorable light than it actually was. For starters: Ben was no child. He was 23 years old when he fell to the darkside. Luke was saw the images of planetary destruction, and the deaths of friends and family alike at the hands of an adult. But even at that, Luke’s ligthsaber had already lowered, and his face expressing that of shame and sadness, when Ben glances over, and decides to take up his lightsaber, and make the first strike. Luke doesn’t even ignite his lightsaber in response until after Ben swings it. The influence Snoke had over Ben, and the mental attack he lured Luke into suffering, to make this moment come to pass cannot be understated.   

 - This also means that Luke’s isolation lasted only 7 years. Not twenty, not even 10. Just 7. Which is less than half the time both Yoda and Obi Wan imposed on themselves.

10. He was following in the footsteps of his masters

I think Luke’s response to trauma is a little unfair in some ways. Obi Wan and Yoda witnessed genocide, and imposed exile on themselves for twenty years. Now, in film, we know that Obi Wan, while playing the part of a delusional hermit, worked to protect Luke as he grew up on Tatooine, and that Yoda, playing the part of a silly swamp kook, did...something...on Dagobah (?), waited for Luke to grow up so he could train him for a few weeks at most (?). 

Those are two pretty limited things, and yet they don’t catch near as much flack for “abandoning the galaxy to the Empire” as TLJ Luke does, after he also witnessed slaughter, and went into isolation for only 7 years. But, of course, we know Obi Wan did more during his time in the desert, and that Yoda did more during his time in the swamp. So why can’t Luke have also done more while on his island? Everything about the parallels here point to Luke, despite his own misgivings, applying what he learned from his master. All three Jedi isolated themselves because of their personal tragedies. All three greatly reduced their presence in the galaxy. But all three had no choice, and all three still did what they could despite their circumstances.    

11. Luke may have been overcome with grief. But he hadn’t truly changed

Now, I fully admit that this is a very optimistic way of looking at things. But some of these points also have more weight to them than others. I also cannot stress enough that even though I think some of what Luke was doing was an act, I also know it was equally proportional to the very real, emotional reasons, and struggles he faced. I also definitely do NOT think Kennedy/Johnson meant for any of these possible theories to have any validity to them. But with how they are presented, they also can’t be disproven. 

If Favreau doesn’t formally put the sequels in it’s own little pocket universe, then I really hope he takes the opportunity to make something like ^the above^ happen. It could easily be established in one to two episodes in a live action show. Lots of things could be done to make the sequels a more bearable set of movies to watch. And as much as I’m worried that hoping for this is simply too optimistic, at least now there is a justifiable interpretive take that has both in film evidence to support, and a lack of otherwise to refute.  

At the end of the day (and as usual) the important part here is to see that Luke hadn’t given up. Struggling, disillusioned, forced into a tough spot, willingly keeping himself scarce, etc. All bearable. But knowing he hadn’t given up is super important to the character and fanbase, so hopefully we get something that makes that cannon. In any facet really.  

AND IT WOULD GET MARK HAMILL BACK ON SET GODAMNIT! XD

*Reblogged with new gifs and information

[lamelinam]

Why do you love Shigure so much? lol no seriously, recount all the ways in which he is the best trash dad.

LOL

Not so much a trash dad than he is a trash lover.

The reason I love Shigure so much is because of all the ways that he is a bad person clash with all the ways he is a good person. The result makes a character absolutely fascinating to me.

Out of all the characters in Furuba, I think he is one of the most, if not the most, layered (and that’s saying something).

OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Mr. Wisdom, trash dad

His wisdom and his knowledge of the human heart allows him to help people the best way he can. Cue his speeches to Kyo, Yuki and Tohru about dealing with anxiety, loneliness, etc.

He is devilishly clever. He knows people. He has an instinctive knowledge of what makes them tick and he doesn’t hesitate to use it. But he knows how to use his powers and insights into people’s psyche for good. See how he manipulated Hatori and Mayu to get together when he thought the time was right for both of them! Helping Hatori, advising the protagonists, getting Yuki out of the dark room... The man knows what he is doing, and he is voluntarily not very subtle about some of his schemes, so of course he annoys the others.

He is mysterious. The “ripple on the wave” analogy si perfect.

I love the amount of time needed in the story to discover what his goal is, and how much sense it gives the overall story retrospectively. And when you understand that he is. behind. almost. everything.The chess master who invites himself in the game Akito and Ren are playing and completely overtakes the board.

He is generous. I don’t think taking care of teenagers is his cup of tea, but he didn’t hesitate to get three problem children under his roof. He bought Tohru a bed and spoils her as much as he can! And gets everyone on vacation at the wood hut. He’s a good friend to Ayame and Hatori. When Akito got out of control and attacked Kana and Hatori, he rushed into the room to restrain the family head. (“Akito, listen to me!”)

He has a dream, and an unholy amount of patience, stubbornness and determination to see it succeed.  Jacob Chapamn says it the best in his review of the 2x3 episode.

“Fruits Basket has often encouraged us to see Shigure as lazy, but considering that he's been trying to make some mysteriously impossible dream come true since he was a child, maybe this shiftless stinker who spends half his day sleeping is more determined than we thought. It's possible that Shigure's just been "doing the laundry at his feet" in his own way, minimizing his stress and conserving his energy each day so he can gradually chip away at a monumental task.”

And yet, he also knows to trust in fate and the freedom of others (”Que sera, sera”), barely nudging them in the right direction. What’s not to love in this mix of laziness and ruthless will?

But the best thing is that you don’t know if he’s acting out of the goodness of his heart or because it ultimately serves his own objective to help everyone find happiness out of the bonds of the curse.

Why can’t it be both?

A magnificent, self-aware bastard with a ruthless streak

He is just that TYPE, you know. In the cast of Fruits Basket, he stands out like pepper among sweets.

He is patient, conniving, and manipulative, self-aware. He knows what he wants, and is willing to do what it takes to get it. A powerful combination.

He has many faces. There’s the goofy one. He resembles, in a way, the buffoon in classic theatre pieces, who is close to the king, and under cover of jesting is the only one allowed to speak the truth, by riddle or mockery, and get away with it.

There’s the wise persona, filled with good advice and help for his friends and his charges.

But there’s also the piercing gaze, and the malevolent face. There are no true villains in Furuba. Most are victims. Akito is a basket case of fear and rage. Even the old maid is only the embodiment of the institution that produced her. Both are sorely lacking in the department of introspection. Ren is a wailing, grieving wraith clinging to a ghost (In more ways than one does she represent what Akito could have become). Shigure, on the other hand, is the farthest away from being a victim, and the closest to being a villain. He is always in control of himself, and is the only one who knows how to tame his own feelings and his attitude to coldly assess a situation and respond to it. His betrayal of Akito were both in rage and calculation, in full knowledge of causes and consequences, with plans and counter-plans for them. He is the kind of character who never explodes but will play the long game to enact his revenge. That makes him very dangerous indeed, because he is not rainbows and sunshine.

Coldly, he moves the pieces and is willing to risk them. He deliberately endangered Rin when he told Akito of her and Haru’s dating, with the dire consequences we know. He tells Ren about the box, although he couldn’t foresee that Rin would also be the victim.

And when he gets angry, he is CRUEL!!

And I don’t mean the kind of teasing that makes his editor cry. (That is mostly played for laugh.) I mean the kind of cruelty that makes you hurt the people who hurt you. And among the self-sacrificing protagonists or deuteragonists, innocent teenagers afraid that they might be thinking too much about themselves... the meanness of his revenge against Akito is such... an acutely human response to being hurt and cheated on. NOT GOOD, not fine! In fact, a truly malign act that did not have any other purpose than to hurt. But, how can I say... this is what made him, for me, the most REAL of all the cast. All of the characters, layered as Takaya knows to make them, have both good and bad traits. Generally, for the protagonists, a lot of good with a little bit of bad. Shigure is the only one of the main characters whose depths of bad match the heights of his good. Which is one of the reasons I find him such a fantastic character!

He gets neither a core character development neither a comeuppance. Seriously, everyone goes on incredible heroes’ journeys, jumping from one epiphany to the next, moving reunions and relationships and realizations... and he’s the only one who is, funnily enough, “unchanging”. Although he does say that he’s learned to make some compromises... I’d rather Yuki, Kyo or Tohru had punched him once, as Hatori warned him.... Although someone does.

So why does he get so little development? That’s, in a way, because he already thoroughly knows himself. He’s a grown up, but his heart hasn’t changed from the moment he was six and had a beautiful dream.

He is probably the zodiac who has the most self-control, and also the strongest will. Remember that the curse forces the zodiac members to submit to Akito, or else feel a rending pain in their hearts if they go against her wishes or hurt her. Yet, he is the only one, the first one, who is in full rebellion against her. He is Prometheus, or Lucifer in their uprising against the divinity controlling their lives! He’s the only one who doesn’t need the curse to be lifted for his eyes to open to the true natures of the curse and Akito. He sees what is wrong and fake with those bonds, and how Akito is slowly self-destructing from it. Like Lucifer, he is chased from Heavens, and from the recesses of his new dwelling, he gathers allies and plots against his God.

His goal, ultimately, proves to be good, but he is the only character ready to dirty his hands and deal with the unsavoury aspects of slowly unravelling a whole isolation, controlling, abuse-inducing system and pull his loved one out of this mess. He will do what needs to be done, meaning he will manipulate everyone, create conflicts and confrontations, force the other characters’ development, even if it hurts them, even if it hurts the one he loves, no matter the collaterals. (I would argue in his defence that undoing a centuries-old curse that is supposed to represent abusive and unhealthy relationships couldn’t be done without heartbreaks and tears).

He is a character who is extremely clever. A good one at heart (his affection for Hatori and the spot of light that is Shiki Sohma are proof of that) but under his goofy exterior, his intelligence and manipulative streak would probably have made him a distant, cold person if he hadn’t had that dream and that goal early on as a child.

The love story (give it all to me!!!)

He is both Akito’s main antagonist and her love interest, and god, do I love Childhood sweethearts to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers trope.

I am a romantic. And as such, I’d die for any love story that has the characters be the sort who would die for each other. However (twist)... I’d die for the two people who would die for each other but are stuck in this unhealthy cycle of ripping each other apart. Yep, I like messy relationships, albeit with a happy ending. Simply put, I believe that no matter how much we might wish otherwise, passion by itself might not always be pure. Love is not always healthy. Jealousy, resentment, anger, lies, find a way to drip their poison into love. Which is why I am attracted to those stories that have the protagonists macerating in this messy hot pot of issues that they cooked for themselves, and yet somehow find their way out.

Akito and Shigure are older than our main characters. They are not pure (arguable with Akito, as Tohru will argue). The chaste kiss they shared as kids has long given way to more passionate ones and a physical relationship. Theirs is far from the innocence of teenage first love. They are adults with heavy baggage: they were in a relationship, they cheated on each other, they exacted revenge on each other, in the pettiest ways they could think. They verbally tear each other apart, Akito out of hot fury and hurt, Shigure out of coldly served revenge.

And because this is the only way he knows how to help her.

He wants to break the curse because he wants his bond with Akito to be recognized as real. Does he do that out of jealousy? Certainly, in the way that love is naturally jealous and selfish. It’s not as if he wants to isolate her and keep her for himself, except romantically. He’s more than happy she’s friend with Tohru & later Saki and Mine. And there isn’t any evidence that he wasn’t fine with Akito’s bond with the other zodiacs... until Akito slept with Kureno. Very probably, he was her only partner at the time, and he thought they would have a normal, meaning exclusive, romantic relationship. Akito thought differently (”I am free to treat the zodiac members as I see fit!”), and he realized their feelings for each other wasn’t enough to keep her for himself, again, romantically speaking. He realized everything that was wrong with the curse, and with a partner who thinks of herself as “God”. And now that I think about it, isn’t the curse a deconstruction of the harem trope? It shows the darkness and jealousy that would arose from a situation where someone is ”born to be loved by all” and is willing to test that privilege. No matter that it’s not love, but insecurity and pity that gathers them in bed.

At the time, Shigure didn’t know that Akito didn’t sleep with Kureno out of affection, but out of fear of being abandoned, just that she would choose a fake bond over a true one. At the time, he reacted as a spurned lover, and did the one thing he thought would hurt her as much as she hurt him. From this point onward, he viewed her as an antagonist. He left. He started playing against her an elaborate game of chess in the hope of destroying the fake love of the zodiacs. So she could fall back in his arms. Very selfish, yes, but also the best thing he could have done for her.

Remember when I wondered why it was that Shigure’s eyes were open before anyone to the true nature of the curse? Why he was the only one able to rebel against God? I think that’s because his feelings for Akito were stronger than those of the spirit of the Dog for God. His own love, his flawed, selfish and possessive, deeply human love, overwhelmed and crushed the submissive love of the Dog for God. He saw Akito as herself, and because of that, he is the only one who treated Akito as human, not as a divinity. While the others bowed their heads and accepted her abuse, in a way enabling her violence, he didn’t give her a free pass. I’m not saying that the way he did it was right, but his tit-for-tat way to show Akito that he wouldn’t take a hit like a good little pet, like Kureno or Hatori, was a way to reject the divine in Akito. He wanted to be her equal.

As such, him being a manipulating bastard, playing with everyone, carefully laying his pieces on the board, makes him a de facto God (I saw another post on Shigure as a God-like figure, but I don’t remember where). It’s his way of staring at Akito right in the eyes, saying, “I see you as you are. I won’t bow. I won’t leave.” Which makes him the only one who could be with her at the end.

And it is very subtle, but Shigure’s attitude towards Akito does change after Kureno’s phone call. Until then, there was something bitter and malicious in the way he taunted her (”Tohru is a much better person than you are.” , “One of us will be sorry in the end and it won’t be me.” , “It’s time you reaped out what you sowed.”)... Afterwards, the paper flower is like an offer of reconciliation. And, there’s chapter 101 of course, when their confrontation leads to the bodice tie-ripping. But from then on, even though he says quite clearly that he is not “kind”, that he won’t indulge her the way Kureno and Hatori do, he is kinder. The only thing is that he refuses to offer her is the same kind of indulgence that the zodiac members give her, the kind that either pities her or treats her as something above them. An unhealthy combination that allows her to get away with anything, even abuse. Shigure’s relationship with her is almost an inversion of courtly love. Instead of being her faithful servant, he challenges her world-view, in a way that Akito finds antagonistic. But he tries to stir her towards a better place.

That’s him trying to help her. But Akito doesn’t see it this way. Instead, she thinks he is cold and harsh, when he offers her something different, and true.

That’s when his wisdom comes into play. Self-aware as he is, he realizes that he is not equipped with the tools to heal her. That’s another of the reasons he left the main house and implicated other people. Only someone like Tohru, someone outside of the Zodiac curse, could offer her the reassurances she needed. Shigure wants Akito. But he wants to save her too, by helping her accept the truth that she rejects and Tohru struggles with.

Time passes and moves on, as do people and emotions, leaving you behind.

I used to say that it is lucky, very lucky indeed, that his inherently selfish end goal aligned itself with the greater good. But that’s forgetting that his goal was good in itself: Shigure didn’t just want Akito as a partner. He wanted her healed and whole, happy and free. That wasn’t compatible with the curse. And it served his peace of mind to have everyone else happy. Deep down, although he is the kind who dabbles in it when he’s hurt, he is not the kind of person who rejoices in cruelty and darkness, just another man, however flawed, reaching for a light that would shine for all.

So, why do I love Shigure Sohma? This master mind who planned the unravelling of the curse over years of plotting, who trusts in fate while giving it a nudge, who is behind the whole plot of Furuba? This unholy mix of charm, laziness and ruthless determination, generosity and patience, self-awareness, pettiness and guilt? The “trash dad" who, although he benefited from it, provided a roof to three fragile teenagers in need and helped them become stronger? This man cursed by human failings, drowning in sins, yet whose heart is still dreaming, still reaching toward the holiest ideal of love? This Luciferian figure who gently caught his fallen goddess and stood by her side to explore with her the beauty of truly living?

"The only thing worth writing is the human heart in conflict with itself."

William Faulkner

I love Shigure’s contradictions, his complexity, his depths, the contrast between the purity and the selfishness of his goal, the oscillations of his means between depravity and virtue, the fact that he did it all for love. Those reasons might not make him the best person, but they make him a very human and real character in my eyes. And frankly, that’s what I want in fiction.