#and she rushes through that group but without really hurting them

[daydreamerdrew]

The Savage She-Hulk (1980) #1

[hederasgarden]

Something Better

Summary: A chance encounter with your academic rival reminds you there's more to life than looks. Pairing: Scott Miller (Twisters) x F!Plus Size!Reader Word Count: 1.4K  Rating: Mature, 18+ only. College AU. Light angst, body insecurity, heavy petting and kissing.  A/N: For my dearest @clairewritesandrambles based on this ask. Thank you @ryebecca for the beta. Turns out I'm terrible at sticking to the 100 word prompts. Please comment or reblog if you enjoyed this and want to see more. Or scream at me in my inbox. That always makes my day.

Masterlist ♡ David Corenswet Characters Masterlist

It’s a struggle to escape the press of bodies on the dance floor, the pounding bass thrumming uncomfortably in your chest. You wipe angrily at your face, jaw clenched as you fight to keep the tears at bay. No one seems to notice — everyone is too drunk or high. You could find your friends, but beneath the desire for comfort is the sharp, burning sting of shame. 

You should have known better than to trust Tyler Owens. 

All those sweet words and flirtatious smiles were meaningless to him. In the end, you were just another notch in his belt and the worst part is, that you have no one to blame but yourself. Everyone knew he wasn’t the type for commitment, but you were blinded by his charm and the way his deep green eyes made you feel beautiful. He said you were special and you were just stupid enough to believe him.

Escaping into the cool night air brings you a brief moment of relief. You close your eyes and tilt your head back. 

"Where’s the cowboy?"

The unexpected voice makes you flinch. You don’t need to turn around to know who it is. Only one person ever called Tyler Owens a cowboy.

"Not now, Scott." 

Usually, you didn’t mind going toe-to-toe with him, enjoying the opportunity to match wits with someone as sharp as Scott. Tonight, though, you’re exhausted, and he’s the last person you want to show any weakness to. In class, he was quick to exploit any hint of vulnerability in an opponent.

"Is that all you’ve got?" he taunts. "Spending time with Owens must have really lowered your IQ."

You bite your tongue, curling your hand into a fist. You can’t handle this right now. You can't handle him.

"Just...go away." Despite your best efforts, your voice betrays how you feel — strained and fragile.

He doesn’t listen, of course, the gravel crunching under his feet as he approaches. Your shoulders slump, and a fresh wave of tears escapes. You stare at the ground and wait for the cutting remark Scott's sure to deliver when he sees you like this. When nothing comes, you hesitantly look up, meeting his cool blue gaze. You’re surprised to see a soft furrow between his brows. He almost looks…concerned.

"You're crying." 

It's such an obvious statement from him that you laugh, but it comes out more as a sob and you press the back of your hand to your mouth. Scott steps forward, making an abortive gesture like he means to touch you but thought better of it. He looks past you, the soft curve of his lips tightening into a sharp, displeased line. Then his gaze cuts back to you. 

"Did Tyler do something?" He asks. 

You shake your head. The truth is, you hurt yourself by thinking someone like Tyler would ever want to date you. Why would he, when he had Kate Carter on his arm? She looked beautiful tonight, her honey blond hair curling softly around her delicate features. She was slender and striking in a way you'd never be. She’d be easy to hate if she wasn't so kind and smart.

"He did something," Scott presses.

Just then, the door swings open, and a group of people spills out into the night. A few of them look over, and you’re quick to turn away, hunching your shoulders in embarrassment. It’s bad enough that Scott saw you like this; you don’t need anyone else witnessing it.

Beside you, Scott lets out a sharp huff, his breath escaping through his nose in a rush. Without a word, he grabs you, his long fingers wrapping firmly around your bicep. He pulls you effortlessly to the side of the building, out of view. 

“Sometime happened. You never shut up, and now you’re just…” He trails off, using his free hand to gesture irritably.

You shrug out of his hold and wrap an arm around your middle. You try to steady your voice, but it quivers when you whisper, "It's nothing."  

“Oh, I see,” he responds coolly. “You think you’re better than everyone now because you’re dating the star football player.”

Scott’s accusation is so far off the mark it’s almost laughable, and on any other day, you’d relish the chance to set him straight. But right now, all you want is to disappear.

“Typical,” he mutters. 

A sudden burst of anger flares under your ribcage and you surge forward, jabbing a finger hard into his chest. You’re so close your body brushes his but you don’t care. 

“You want to know what happened?” you ask. “We slept together, but the second someone skinnier and prettier showed up, he acted like I didn’t even exist. And honestly, I can’t even blame him," you continue with a bitter laugh. "Just look at Kate Carter.”

As soon as the words are out of your mouth and you realize what you’ve just admitted, you shrink back against the brick wall, feeling exposed. Scott rolls his eyes, and you tense up, bracing yourself for whatever he is about to say. 

"Kate Carter isn't as smart as us," he says dismissively. "She's a fucking bio major. You think she even took differential equations?”

Of course he didn’t get it. People like Scott and Tyler moved through the world differently than you. “No one’s looking at her transcript  She’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, and so are you.”

You freeze and the unexpected compliment hangs in the air between you as you search his expression for any trace of sarcasm. Scott stares steadily back at you and something in your stomach flutters to life, sweeping up your chest in a hot rush. 

“Scott…”

“Don’t make this a thing,” he says quietly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “It’s not a thing.”

He dips his head and then suddenly, he’s kissing you, those soft, plump lips of his sliding against yours almost sweetly. You clutch the front of his sweater, tilting your head back until your nose brushes against his. A quiet moan builds at the back of your throat and Scott surges forward, caging you in between his body and the wall. The rough brick catches against the soft skin of your shoulder but you don’t care, not with the way he’s kissing you.

“Gonna let me in?” he whispers.

Without hesitation, you part your lips, welcoming him into the wet heat of your mouth. He groans in response, grasping your hips. He kisses just like he argues with you in the classroom — relentless in his pursuit, overwhelming you in the best way possible until you yield. This time you want him to win, but you can’t resist trying to outdo him. You draw his lower lip between your teeth and bite down until he grunts.

“Fuck,” he pants, his hands sweeping up and down your sides. 

You cant your hips forward and he grabs the back of your thigh, grinding into you.

“I’m going to take you home,” he promises, mouthing at the side of your neck. "Then I’m going to fuck you until you forget that asshole's name.”

You shudder, freeing one of your hands trapped between your bodies and burying it in his thick black curls. A light tug has him nipping at the soft skin of your throat. Everything about him feels so good. It would be easy to lose yourself to this, to him, but you pull back, blinking away the haze of lust. You refuse to repeat your mistake with Tyler. 

“What happens after?” You ask him, breathless. 

Scott blinks, running his tongue over his swollen bottom lip. “After?”

“After we, you know….” That little shadow appears between his brows again. You shift uncomfortably, drawing back. “With Tyler…after, he—”

“We date,” Scott interrupts.

Maybe it’s the kiss or the whirlwind of emotions you’ve experienced tonight, but for the first time, you're at a loss for words with Scott.

“Date?” You repeat dumbly.

“Yes.” He says it like it’s the most obvious thing. “Do you require the definition of the word?” He looks half annoyed now, staring down his nose at you. “If you can’t keep up, I’m not sure we can do this.”

“Do what?” 

“Date,” he replies tersely. “You know, you’re killing the mood here.”

“Well,” you sputter, “it’s not my fault you’re a poor communicator.”

Scott rolls his eyes. “This was better when we weren’t talking.”

“Agreed,” you fire back.

“So it’s settled.”

When you nod, Scott grasps your hand and tugs you forward. His long legs make it difficult to keep up but after a few seconds, he seems to notice and adjusts his pace to match yours. He casts a brief glance at you and you see a faint twitch at the corner of his mouth, as if his lips were about to part but he thought better of it. 

“What?” You ask, amused.

He shrugs. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” you agree. “Just as long as you’re not making this a thing.”

Scott lets out a small, exasperated sigh and turns away, but not before you catch the smile tugging at his lips.

Send me a request

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐢 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 - 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠

best friend!jay x fem!reader

genre: best friends to lovers, some angst / some fluff

warnings: cussing, slightly jealous!jay

word count: ~3,5k

a/n: ahh i really enjoyed writing this one!! but the ending feels a bit rushed so i apologize for that (⌣_⌣”)

↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

you and jay had practically known each other since diapers, being best friends ever since you could remember. although over the years you had been through different friend groups, the two of you always stayed inseparable. in the end, it was always you. you and jay.

since you spent almost every day together, also now you were sitting on his bed across from him, your legs casually resting on top of his thighs while you had your laptop on your lap, typing away a report you had to finish. jay, on the other hand, was silently scrolling through every possible social media site to fight his boredom while waiting for you to be done. his other hand rested on your knee, softly tapping his index and middle fingers on your joggers alternately, as if tapping them along to a beat. being so used to his skinship, his soft touch didn't bother you.

after some more moments in silence with only the sounds of you tapping on your keyboard, you could hear jay sigh and saw him put down his phone from the corner of your eye. "how long are you going to work on this, it's been two hours", he whined.

you looked up from your laptop only to see your best friend pout at you, which made your lips curl up into a smile. "okay, big baby, i'm almost done and we'll watch your annoying movie after", you replied in a teasing tone. jay squinted his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, to which you chuckled before focusing back on your laptop screen.

"i think i should show her the movie too", jay interrupted again. "hm, who her?", you asked, rather inattentively.

jay clicked his tongue. "the girl i like, dumbass"

rolling your eyes, you finally looked up from your laptop again. the past weeks, he had not gone a day without mentioning 'the girl he likes' at least once. although you knew practically everything about him - and his plans with his crush - you still had no idea who she was nor what she looked like and whenever you asked, your friend would turn down your question, claiming you'd find out soon enough.

"yeah, you should watch this movie with her. i don't want to watch it for the 10th time", you replied sarcastically , earning another playfully annoyed look from jay.

"i'm serious, jay. stop saying what you want to do and then never make a move. she might not wait forever", you added, your voice more genuine than before. jay just bit down on his lower lip and nodded, looking to the side to avoid your eyes.

suddenly, you felt bad for what you had said. you didn't want to discourage him. it was quite the opposite; you wanted him to finally take his chance with whoever he had liked for a while now. you closed your laptop, not caring about the unfinished report at that very moment, grabbed a pillow from behind your back and threw it in jay's direction, careful to hit but not hurt him.

"you should really ask her to watch it with you, instead of me. she's not going to believe you're into her if you're stuck on my ass the entire time anyways", you said jokingly, trying to lighten up his mood again and in fact earning a soft giggle from him. he grabbed your laptop off your legs and instead pulled you towards him, your head hitting his chest softly.

"whatever you say", he said, grabbing the remote and turning on the tv while you got comfortable, resting your head on his chest and putting one arm around his torso. "now, it's movie time", he said, indicating you should stop speaking now, before starting the movie he had waited to watch with you and pulling your body just a tiny little bit closer to his. and words could not describe how comfortable you felt in that very moment. how completely comfortable and safe.

you didn't even notice that you had fallen asleep on jay's chest. it was not until he moved very slowly and carefully, trying the best he could to not wake you up. you slowly opened your sleepy eyes and lifted your head a little.

jay sighed at the realization. "i'm sorry... i was really trying to not wake you", he almost whispered, his voice soft and quiet. his words so carefully spoken, as if he could break you in half if he said them any louder.

only then you realized his fingers tangled in your hair - clearly the aftermath of having played with them while watching the movie.

"it's your fault i fell asleep in the first place. i always do when you play with my stupid hair", you managed to crack a joke, despite your tiredness.

jay scoffed jokingly. "stupid hair?", he asked as if you had insulted him. "you know they're soft and it's...", he stopped as if searching for the right word "...it's healing to play with them."

healing? the fact that he spoke of something as simple as playing with your hair as healing set something off. a weird, unfamiliar feeling in your stomach - one that you couldn't really classify.

"mh..." that was all you could reply, feeling overwhelmed and confused at the sudden change of feelings you experienced.

"you know... you'd make a good boyfriend. i'm sure the girl you like would enjoy having you caress her hair until she falls asleep", you just blurted out, mind still foggy by the state you were in.

you could feel jay's chest stop moving for a split second, indicating that he was holding his breath, before you heard him gulp.

"hm, probably"

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

"i'm so going to win this time", you said, self-confident, as you started the last and final round of the race, eyes fixated on the screen and hands wrapped tightly around the controller.

you were so caught up in the game that you got startled by the loud ringtone covering the sounds of the game. you tried to catch a glimpse of your phone to see who was calling, going back and forth from your phone to the tv screen - the inattentiveness causing your game character to hit an obstacle, much to the joy of your competitor. as you lost the game, you just dropped the controller in your lap and instead grabbed your phone to finally answer the video call.

"you better have a good reason to call me now, jay! i lost mario kart because of you!", you snapped, before your best friend could even greet you.

mario kart? he thought. that was your tradition. yours and jay's. playing mario kart on a friday evening. but he was clearly not with you right now. and for some reason, it bugged him. a lot. why would you carry on your tradition with someone else? but did he even have the right to claim a shared activity as solely yours and his? did he have the right to get hurt or even angry? he wasn't sure, so he tried to shrug it off.

he forced himself to let out a faked laugh. "who did you lose to?", he asked, trying to make it seem as if it wasn't a big deal for him. trying to not seem too curious about who you had replaced him with.

you moved your phone to the side, revealing your competitor, before moving it back for the camera to capture you only.

"huh? jake?", jay asked, visibly confused.

"i'll get some water and let the two of you talk", the boy in question chimed in as he stood up from the bed, giving you a short smile.

you looked up at him a little too long for jay's liking, before moving your eyes back to the phone screen. "so, why were you calling anyways?", you asked as jake walked out of your room.

"him, seriously? are you stupid or do you simply not care that he only wants to-"

"jay. i asked a question", you cut him off rather sternly.

he let out a long sigh at the tone of your voice, at the way your words left no room for further discussion. and if he thought about it, he also didn't have the right to tell you who to hang out with, after all.

"did you hear about this new café opening next week?", he finally carried on with the original reason why he called you. you nodded in response, so jay continued "they'll have like a small opening event, i wanted to ask you if you want to go with me?"

"um... well, jake asked me already", you replied, your voice now calmer and quieter, feeling almost guilty for turning jay down.

"what did you say?", he asked hurriedly, as if in a rush to find out about your answer. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "i said yes. i thought-... you can ask the girl you like?"

"oh... um...", he started stuttering, bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his head awkwardly, "i did but she already had plans that day"

you just nodded. another unfamiliar feeling bubbling up in your stomach. the fact that he had already asked her before even considering you was somehow... irritating? he had asked her. not you. you were the second choice, after the first was not available. and suddenly, it crashed down on you. worries, fear. suddenly, you felt this irrational, immense fear of losing your best friend. of watching him just slip through your fingers, taking your years of friendship along with him.

"you okay? you're zoning out again", jay pulled you out of the spiral of thoughts. when your eyes focused back on him, you could make out the worried expression on his face.

without thinking about it, you just started babbling out your thoughts. "i'm scared that this will ruin our friendship, jay". his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to object, but again was interrupted by you. "sorry, i-"

you didn't get to finish as this time you were interrupted by the door opening again and jake stepping back into your room, a glass of water in each hand.

"you know what, jay... we'll talk about that another time, yeah? i'll see you, good night", you hurriedly hung up before he could even reply, leaving him on the other end of the line staring at his phone in surprise for a few seconds.

i'm scared that this will ruin our friendship, your words echoed in his head. oh, me too, he thought.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

the day of the event came and you were just finishing to touch up your make up when you heard your door bell ring; the signal that jake was there and ready to pick you up.

the two of you drove to the café in his car in a comfortable silence, jake's voice softly humming along to the songs on the radio barely audible to you.

even after you had spent an hour or two at the café, trying not only the beverages but also some treats, the two of you still hadn't run out of topics to talk and laugh about.

you were so caught up in the conversation with jake that it took you some minutes to make out the tall figure standing in front of the table you two shared. only when you looked up finally, you saw your best friend standing there, practically piercing holes through your body with his eyes.

thanks to the video call a couple of days before, jay knew exactly where you'd be on that day. and with who. and for some reason, he felt the strong urge to check on you. an urge he couldn't fight, so he gave in and made his way to the same place. he just had to make sure you were okay after all, right? that's what a best friend would do if their best friend went out with a guy that seemed fishy. right?

but seeing the two of you just chatting with each other, laughing with each other, sitting a little too close to each other... he didn't know if he should feel relieved that your suspicious date was much less of a threat than he had thought. or if he in fact should feel even more threatened. because what if you'd end up liking the guy with the golden retriever-like eyes more than your best friend?

it was your scent tickling his nose that brought him back to reality. only then he realized the hug you had pulled him in, immediately reciprocating the gesture and wrapping his arms around your waist. just a little tighter than he would usually do.

jake, still sitting on the sofa, watched the scene in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek while jay's head was almost buried in the crook of your neck, taking in as much of your scent as possible.

finally, you let go of the way longer than normal hug, a slight shade of pink covering your cheeks. you quickly sat back down again, taking your iced coffee and gulping it down as if it could cool your face and stop the heat from rushing to your cheeks. why were you blushing anyway?

"hi jake", jay finally spoke up, looking down to said boy, who just nodded his head in return. "mind if i join you guys?"

"actually, yeah. i mind.", jake opposed.

jay was quick to reply, before you could even open your mouth "well good thing i only care about my best friend's opinion", emphasizing the possesive pronoun as if you were solely his property, not dared to even be looked at by anyone else.

"geez, fine. i was gonna head home anyways", jake said while standing up, "have a good time together then". and before you could hold him back, hell, before you could even say something, jake was already out the door.

your eyes followed him until he was out of sight and then went back to look at jay. although he hadn't intended for this to happen, he couldn't say he wasn't satisfied with the outcome nonetheless. until...

"what the fuck, jay?!"

if you weren't in public, you would have probably screamed at him. jay's eyes widened at your reaction. in all the years you had known each other, you had barely ever raised your voice at him in a serious manner. but he could tell that you were very serious right now.

"i'm... i'm sorry, i didn't mean to- he's just not good for you and-", he started stuttering out, before you cut him off.

"did you see him acting anyhow weird towards me? no. cause the only one who's acting weird is you, jay!"

he gulped. "but i'm your-"

"my what?", you interrupted again. "my best friend? right. not my parents, not my boyfriend. you're no one to tell me who to go out with!", you snapped.

"just because you don't have the balls to ask the stupid 'girl you like' out, you have to ruin my day as well?" you finally stood up and grabbed your bag. "for fucks sake, jay, get yourself together." you gave him one last glare, before storming off the café as well, making sure to hit his upper arm with your shoulder as you passed him. leaving him with a shocked face and a mind filled with so many thoughts, yet so empty, not able to say a word.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

days passed and you did not speak to neither jake nor jay. whereas the latter had tried to contact you several times, jake had not reached out to you as much. you weren't happy about that but you weren't exactly hurt or upset either.

when it came to jay, a part of you was still mad at him, while another part of you wasn't. one minute you'd want to talk to him, and the next you'd damn yourself for that thought. safe to say your feelings and thoughts were just a rollercoaster at this point, and you were nowhere near sorting them out. the only constant: confusion.

the sudden ring of your door bell pulled you out of another never ending thought process. you stood up from your bed and made your way to the door, opening it without peeking through the small hole before. instant regret hit you as you saw who was standing right in front of you.

"jay?"

"hey... can i come in?"

hesitantly, you stepped aside, not able to reject your best friend, no matter how much you wanted to tell him to go home. after all, you had your reasons for not picking up the phone, not answering the texts. you didn't want to talk to him. not as long as you had no idea about what to think - what to feel.

jay entered, a big bag on his back, and just naturally walked past you and to the living room as if you had invited him to do so. you followed him with quick steps.

"i never said to go-"

you gave up as you saw him getting comfortable on the sofa already. he opened his bag, pulled out his guitar and finally looked at you. then he patted on the sofa, signaling you to sit down next to him.

"i want to show you something"

you were, yet again, confused, but curiosity got the best of you and you decided to take a seat next to him.

"i wrote this myself", he explained further and although you were expecting exactly what he'd say next, it still felt like a punch in the gut. "um... for the girl i like"

without thinking about it, you stood up again, ready to tell him to just leave, when he grabbed your hand and pulled you down again.

"i just want to hear your opinion on it", jay said in a soft voice.

"fine."

and so he began letting his fingers slide over the strings elegantly, playing the chords so perfectly, while making everything look so effortless at the same time. his voice was soft, yet carried so much power. and in an instant, nothing else mattered. not what happened at the café, not his bold act of just walking in now, not your anger.

just jay's voice and the sounds of his guitar. so heavenly. and so not for you.

suddenly, your confusion sweeped away and tears started filling your eyes when the realization hit you. and it hit hard.

the realization of why everything about his not so little crush on this girl had bothered you so much. the realization of what you had actually felt when you had woken up on his chest with his hand in your hair a couple of weeks ago. and that you were not only scared of the friendship changing when he asked her out first. even the realization of why you were blushing after he had hugged you tightly in the café.

but mostly, the realization that you wanted nothing more than to be her.

jay's voice fell silent abruptly. he almost tossed away the guitar and instead brought both of his hands to your cheeks, cupping your face. his thumbs gently stroked your cheeks, sending goosebumps down your spine and although your vision was blurry, you could see his worried eyes fixated on yours.

"why are you crying?" jay asked carefully, as if he barely dared to break the silence.

you tried shaking your head but jay's hands on both sides of your face held you more tightly, almost like he was scared of losing you forever if he let go now.

"i'm sure she'll like it", you whispered, worried that if you spoke up, your voice would break.

jay inhaled deeply, his breath audibly shaking. "does she?"

you furrowed your eyebrows. "how would i-"

"do you?"

pang. your heart dropped to your knees. your stomach sank. your mind started racing and your heartbeat doubled its speed likewise.

pang. the next realization.

he had shown you the movie he wanted to show her.

he had asked you to join him to the event, but you had plans already.

he had shown you the song he wrote for the girl he likes.

for you.

all of those moments were about you, all along.

suddenly, the reason why he had never shown you a picture of her seemed so obvious.

the facts that he had never made a move and that he had reacted this way towards jake suddenly had reasons; fear of ruining the friendship and straight up jealousy.

as if to confirm your mind that was running laps around everything that had happened between you and your best friend the past weeks, you heard jay's soft words "it's you. it's always been you."

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

thank you so much for reading up until here. it means the entire world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please do not copy. ❤︎︎

feel free to leave any feedback & interact!

- dazzlingjaeyun

[twisted-king]

Hi! Hello! I was wondering if you wrote any platonic hecs in twst? If you do, can you write gn!mc always finding a away to mention/talk about her home world? Maybe add a little bit of homesickness for angst👀.

Platonic hcs with the first years pls:>

Btw I really love you writing style!♡

AAAA oh my gosh thank you so much! I have no idea what im really doing aha...

Absolutely!!! here's a key:

Epel Ace Deuce Sebek Jack You

First year friend group + Reader who talks about home

They love you

they REALLY do

But this is excessive.

"Back at the farm we used to drink hot cider after a long day out in the snow, actually one time we-" "Heh.. like how my mom and I used to..." "Used to what?" "Oh its nothing... Just a tradition. We'd get together every Tuesday and go for bubble tea" "Oh..."

Epel understands feeling far from home, and he wants to try and relate with you but he doesn't know about half the stuff you're saying.

"hahah I got a higher score than you this time. Mayeb you shoulda studied a bit harder like lil ol me~" "Shut up Ace! It's a difference of like... two points!" "Two more points than you!" "oh you-" "My friends and I used to compare scores all the time, she always asked for help studying but.. haha she always got better grades than me."

They feel SO awkward when this happens

Deuce almost feels like he's showing off in some kind of way. He wants to be an honor student AND a good friend to you, so he's trying to creatre new memories with you, he's just having some trouble.

"Hey! I uh- I learned out to make one of Trey's tart! The one from the unbirthday party you liked so much?" "Oh thank you Deuce! It's kind of funny actually-" oh no,,, "My sibling and I used to bake for each other to say sorry."

Ace on the other hand is curious, but he kind of wishes you could be with the group sometimes.

"And then Lucius was like-- On top of Deuce- get this- while he was STILL sleeping" "No way..!" "Seriously?" "Hah- how pathetic, I NEVER fall asleep in Trein's... admittedly dull, lessons." "I used to have a dog, he could sleep anywhere"

And suddenly, it's quiet again...

Jack tries to keep your mind off things

He takes you out on relatively silent runs, he invites you to track meets, you can join or just watch him and Deuce! You've been looking a little down recently so, this makes sens to Jack, Deuce enjoys having you watch him run too, his friends give him extra motivation to beat his last personal best!

But... now you're crying?

Ohnowhatdoido.jpeg

Ace, Epel, and Sebek are on their way too, they wanted to do something nice for you and suprise you and -oh no...

They drop everything.

Your friends rush toward you, maybe you're hurt? you like... NEVER cry around them.

And suprisingly, Sebek can get you through the worst of it

"You're sad. and far from home. and that is hard. Especially for a pu ny huma-" "Sebek!!" "Right, uh... But we are here with you now. And we care for you."

"You're our best friend, I don't think anyone would be 'round here if it weren't for you."

"I don't feel as alone, riding solo just... wasnt it."

"'Sides, class isnt nearly as fun without you in it?"

"We really care about you, Prefect. You're our friend."

They gather around you, peacefully letting you cry after they let you know how muhc you mean to them.

"I just... I miss home so much..!"

[httplilyyy]

𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐄 | 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐎

pairing: alessia russo x reader

summary: in which you had fallen for a lie

warnings: smut, fingering (r giving), oral (r giving), fluff, angst, hurt without the comfort & swearing | minors dni

word count: 7.7k

a/n: it's a bit rushed but i hope you enjoy!

woso masterlist

You were known as being the reserved type. Much preferring to be introverted than extroverted.

When you joined Arsenal it came as a huge shock to you. Everyone on the team was outgoing and full of energy. Whereas you would much rather be by yourself doing some small drills or at home with a nice cup of tea sitting on your sofa and watching a movie.

Although, parts of that changed. You had wished to be with someone. A certain someone.

And that person was none other than Alessia Russo. The other newbie on the team.

From the moment you met her, you couldn't tear your eyes away. To entranced by her pure beauty and stunning smile. You had fallen hard.

You, of course, never said anything about these feelings and kept them to yourself. Too afraid that you’d ruin the friendship that you have with her. Constantly telling yourself that it was better to have her in your life as a friend rather than not at all.

You had gotten to know her after being paired with her for some drills during training and due to this, the two of you had grown close as well as your feelings.

International football was now here and it was your first time being called up to the England squad. After your outstanding season at your old club, all eyes were on your move to Arsenal, especially Sarina’s.

She was immensely impressed with how you’d come into your own and grown as a player and she knew you were someone she wanted on the England squad.

Walking into St George’s Park for the first time, you couldn't contain the anxious butterflies that flew around your stomach. Keeping to yourself, you made your way to the pitch, picking up a ball along the way.

Not knowing how long you had been by yourself, the sound of people chatting seemed to get closer and closer. The chatter, however, seemed to come to a stop when they saw you.

Pinging another ball into the top corner, you took a little break to get some water. Turning around, you were met with the whole team.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t a newbie.” Ella Toone’s voice cut through the silence.

“Go easy on them, Ella. They’re only ickle.” Mary teased, messing up the midfielder’s hair.

“Hey, y/n.” Alessia smiled, noticing your discomfort with all the attention.

“Uh, hi.” You greeted, waving slightly.

“I see you’ve all greeted our newest member.” Sarina called out, sending you a warm smile.

After introducing yourself to everyone properly, you were all split up into little groups for training. It was nothing heavy, just a few passing, dribbling and shooting drills to get you warmed up.

As training went on, you felt more and more a part of the group but you didn’t let yourself be fully open, opting to hold back. You weren’t sure why, perhaps it was the nerves.

Before you knew it, Sarina called you all in for a run down of how she thought training went and ushered you all to the showers. Although you were happy with your first session with the girls, you held back, waiting for everyone to go before you.

Each of the girls were busy doing their own thing when you made your way into the locker room, placing your bag on the side, away from the hustle and bustle of the room.

Quickly showering and getting into some clean clothes you were about to leave when you heard someone call out your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” You hummed, turning round to see everyones eyes on you.

“Are you doing anything later?” Alessia asked.

“Um, probably just watching a movie, why?” You wondered, rubbing the back of your neck, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet.

“Seeing as you aren’t doing anything, come hang out with us?” Alessia said, gesturing to everyone in the room.

“Oh, uh, I don’t- I dont really-”

“C’mon, It’ll give you a chance to get to know us better.” Katie spoke up.

“I- um- I-” you let out a nervous chuckle, “maybe you could just come to mine instead?”

Out of all the things you could’ve said, you said that. You well and truely wanted to kill yourself right there and then. The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them and now you wanted the ground to swallow you up whole.

“Can your house fit all of us?” Millie asked with astonishment.

You didn’t trust yourself to speak again so you settled with a small nod.

“Okay, sugar daddy.” Georgia teased.

“That's me.” You mumbled as a small laugh died in your throat.

“Well, send us your address and we’ll be there.” Keira smiled.

“I- uh, don’t have your numbers?” You said, cursing yourself for still being nervous.

“I can send it to you all.” Alessia said, saving you from all the attention.

With a small confirmation nod from you, everyone seemed to filter out of the room one by one. Thinking everyone had left, you sat in your cubby, placing your head in your hands and letting out a long sigh.

After taking a few seconds to yourself, you finally looked up, surprised to see Alessia still standing there, playing with her fingers.

“Less?” You questioned gently. “I thought you’d left.”

“I actually came to ask for a favour.” She said sheepishly.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Could you possibly give me a ride to yours?”

“Yeah, of course.” You smiled, your heart pounding just a little quicker than normal at the thought of more time with Alessia.

“You sure? It’s just that I came with Ella but she’s seemed to have left already.”

“I promise, it’s no trouble at all. Just let me quickly pack everything away.”

In record time, you packed your bag and got everything ready. Although you were really good friends with Alessia, you couldn't help how your heart thundered in your chest.

Walking out of the training ground and into your car, you placed your bag on the back seat before finally getting into the front and starting up your car.

“Do you want the aux?” You questioned, handing her the little wire.

Alessia smiled and whispered a small ‘thank you’ before plugging her phone in and turning on a random song from her playlist.

Looking in your mirrors you made sure it was safe to reverse out of your spot. You placed your arm around the back of Alessia’s chair and looked over your shoulder and out of the back window, using one hand on the steering wheel to reverse.

Alessia watched you carefully, the way your hand manoeuvred around the steering wheel effortlessly and how as you looked out the back window your side profile was on full display.

After pulling out of your parking spot, you made your way back to your house. The journey back was in silence, a comfortable silence, that was occasionally broken by the two of you singing to different songs.

You could only hope to god you wouldn't crash your car. Her perfume was intoxicating, it was slowly driving you insane and every time you looked over at Alessia all you wanted to do was pull over and give her a kiss.

Gripping your steering wheel with both hands, your knuckles turned white at the sheer force you were using. Trying to swallow the lump in your throat you kept reminding yourself that Alessia could never like you back. How could she? You were you and Alessia was… Well she was Alessia. Your Lessi. The girl of your dreams.

Even being in close proximity to her sent your mind reeling. All these different scenarios popped in your head and you could only dream for them to be real.

“You okay?” Alessia questioned, placing her hand on your thigh.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” You said, clearing your throat as you internally panicked, eyes widening as you stared at the road ahead.

“You’re usually talkative.” Alessia shrugged, taking her hand off your thigh and you immediately missed the feeling.

“Just a little nervous.” You mumbled as your fingers tapped absentmindedly on the steering wheel.

“There’s no need to be nervous, is it about later?”

“Yeah, I don’t usually have people over.” You said, shuffling in your seat, trying to concentrate on the road.

“You can always cancel.”

“I think it’s a little late for that.” You mumbled, pulling up to your driveway and seeing multiple cars parked on the front.

“And is it a little late to tell you that I also invited someone else over?” Alessia questioned sheepishly, cautiously looking over at you as you put your car into park.

“Oh? And who is this someone?” You teased, trying to ignore the pang of your heart when you pictured Alessia with someone.

“It's not like that,” Alessia said, huffing out a laugh as she smacked your shoulder, “you actually know her.”

“I do? What’s their name?”

“You can figure it out.” Alessia said as she got out of the car, enjoying teasing you.

“Okay… but would it kill you to tell me who this person is?” You asked, scrambling out of the car yourself.

“Nope, but I'm still not telling you.” Alessia said in a sing-song voice.

“Oh come on, just tell me.” You begged, rounding your car to shake her shoulders.

“You’ll find out soon.” Alessia laughed, causing your face to light up at the sound.

“Or you could tell me now.” You said, not letting go of her.

“Am I really that bad that you wouldn't tell them about me?” A voice said, making you turn around.

“Oh! Um, hi.” You said, giving them a smile which turned out to be more of a grimace.

“I’m Leah, since Alessia decided to not tell you who I was.” They said, a warm smile on their face.

“Y/n, uh my name is Y/n.” You said, picking the skin on your fingers.

“I heard you’re the new kid on the block.” Leah said, trying to start a conversation.

“Uh-huh. That's me.” You said, giving an awkward smile to the blonde.

“Sorry that I haven’t seen you around, at Arsenal as well. I’ve been doing some rehab for my knee.” Leah explained, pointing down at her leg.

“T-that’s okay.” You said, not really knowing what else to say.

“You’re cute.” Leah said, before going over to the rest of your teammates.

“Okay, what was that?” Alessia chuckled, walking up to your side and nudging you with her elbow.

“I uh I don't know. I think I malfunctioned.” You said quietly, not taking your eyes off Leah.

“I saw.”

“Was it bad?” You asked, turning to Alessia with a slight grimace.

“Not at all.” Alessia smiled softly.

“I also think you forgot to mention that the person you invited over is Leah fucking Williamson.” You mumbled out, looking back at the defender.

“That’s on me.” Alessia chuckled, patting you gently on the shoulder as she walked over to where everyone was.

Shaking your head, you tried to get rid of all your thoughts and taking one last deep breath you went to greet everyone.

A few hours went by since you said your ‘hellos’ and after many slices of pizza and drinks you had all gathered around in your living room. You were all engaged in a conversation with each other. Talking about anything and everything.

At first it was teasing Alessia for being so clumsy or how Ella was so loud. Even going on to talk about how Rachel and Millie were the troublesome duo and an honourable mention to Mary’s tiktok.

Then it was how you were inexperienced in pretty much everything.

“But how?!” Lucy exclaimed, raising her hands in the air to slap them back down onto the sofa.

“I don't know.” You mumbled with a shug, looking down at your fingers.

“But everyone has had sex.”

“Apparently not y/n.” Lauren piped up with a laugh.

“Lauren.” Alessia said, sending the girl a warning look.

“What have you done then?” Alex questioned, leaning her elbows on her knees.

“Uh, I've kissed someone?”

“Was that a statement or a question?” Jordan chuckled good heartedly.

Alessia looked over at you and noticed your leg bouncing up and down at an increased rate. The striker desperately wanting to say something, but not knowing what.

“I uh-” You struggled, not liking how everyone's eyes were on you. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and it felt that everything around you was spinning.

“Okay I think that's enough.” Esme said from beside you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You looked over at her and gave a grateful smile but the questions didn't falter. Your heart pounded even quicker and you suddenly felt as if you were trapped.

"I have to use the bathroom." You said quickly, coming up with an excuse.

You placed your drink on the coffee table as you stood up and slipped off down the hallway.

Shutting the bathroom door behind you quietly, you let out a sigh, tension melting from your body as you leaned against the door.

“C’mon y/n, pull yourself together.” You muttered to yourself, moving over to the sink.

You placed both hands on the side, letting your head hang low as you listened to the faint laughs from your friends coming from the other room.

“Stop being a loser and have some fun.”

You tried to give yourself a pep talk but nothing seemed to work. You were snapped out of your haze once you heard a knock on the door.

“Just a minute.” You panicked, pretending to flush the toilet and wash your hands.

Opening the door, you stepped back out into the hallway and came face to face with Leah.

“Oh! Hi!” You stuttered out, hands stuffing themselves in your pockets.

“Hey!” Leah chuckled, “I was going to head out with the others but I wanted to say thank you for a great time.”

“Oh, how long was I in there?” You mumbled to yourself, looking back at the bathroom behind you.

“Not long, don’t worry.” Leah smiled, placing her hand on your arm.

“That’s uh that’s good then.” You said, stumbling over your words at her touch, feeling your body freeze.

“I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yeah, for sure, yeah, definitely.”

“Okay, cool. See you later y/n.”

Walking back into your living room, you spotted Alessia cleaning up all the mess that was thrown around the place. The blonde noticed your presence and looked up at you with a smile before going back to cleaning.

Wordlessly walking up to her, you gently took the rubbish from her hands before putting them in the bin in the kitchen. The two of you continued to clean so your place was practically spotless.

Once you were both done, you flopped onto the sofa, sitting shoulder to shoulder but still not saying a word. Fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you looked around at everything in the room but Alessia.

“Is it alright if I stay the night?” Alessia wondered, causing you to finally look at her.

“Y-yeah, of course.” You nodded, getting up from the sofa and holding your hand out for the blonde to grab.

Alessia took your hand without question and let you guide her into your bedroom. She sat on the edge of your bed whilst you rummaged around to find something for her to wear. Picking out some old joggers and a top, you handed the items of clothing to her.

She gracefully took them, getting up from the bed to place a soft kiss to your cheek before walking into the en suite to get changed. You stood rooted to your spot, face beet red and eyes wide.

It seemed like all the air had been taken out of your lungs, Alessia had never done that and now you didn’t know what to do. It seemed foolish to be hung up on such a small thing but it sent your mind reeling.

Not realising how long you had been standing for, you turned around with haste as you heard the bathroom door open up.

“You okay?” Alessia questioned, looking at you quizzically.

“Y-yeah, thought I saw a spider.” You said, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“You’re scared of spiders?” Alessia teased, placing her clothes on top of the desk of drawers.

“Definitely not,” you mumbled, shaking your head, “nope.”

“Okay.” Alessia chuckled, shaking her head before going to lay on your bed.

“That's, erm, that's my bed.” You said, pointing weakly to the piece of furniture.

“Yes?”

“You're laying on my bed.”

“Is that okay?” Alessia wondered.

“Mhm, I’ll just sleep somewhere else.”

“You’re not sleeping in here?” Alessia questioned, looking up at you with curiosity and you could feel your palms become sweaty.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You shrugged, suddenly feeling small.

“You could never.” Alessia smiled, patting the spot beside her. “Now come here.”

“You sure?” You asked, feeling very nervous at the thought of sharing a bed with Alessia.

“Yes, now come on. I don’t bite.”

“O-okay.”

Squeezing your eyes shut for a brief second and releasing a shaky breath, you made your way onto your bed. You laid next to her, as stiff as a board, not exactly knowing what to do with yourself.

Mentally cursing yourself for being so awkward, you moved a little closer to the blonde, the latter trying not to laugh at your actions.

“Y’know Leah was right earlier.” Alessia spoke up, looking over at you.

“Huh?” You questioned, confused as to what she was getting at.

“You are cute.” Alessia said, taking matters into her own hands and moving so you were laying shoulder to shoulder.

“I-” You let out a chuckle but it died in your throat causing you to let out a small cough.

“Get some sleep.” Alessia said, trying to contain her smile and shifting to get more comfortable which led to her head resting on your chest.

Nodding, you realised she couldn't see you causing you to fight the urge to slap yourself in the face. Leaning over ever so slightly, you managed to turn the lights off and get into a comfortable position yourself.

Letting yourself drift off into a deep sleep, you prayed to the gods above that Alessia couldn't hear or feel how fast your heart was pumping.

Many hours passed and the morning sun came around all too quickly. Some time during the night, the two of you had shifted, the blonde now somewhat fully laying on top of you.

Her leg was draped over yours, tangled together and her hand had made its way up your top, resting on your stomach, just above the band of your joggers. Her head had moved into the crook of your neck and you could feel each breath she let out, the action causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

You were completely trapped by her, not that you had anything against it, in fact you couldn’t think of anything better than the moment you were in right now. Assuming Alessia was still asleep, your fingers began to mindlessly trace shapes on her arm that was slung around your waist.

“That feels nice.” Alessia mumbled, hiding her head further into your neck.

She felt you freeze underneath her, your ministrations coming to a halt and all of a sudden the situation became too much to bear. Your position seemed very domestic, and if the two of you were caught like that everybody would immediately assume you were a couple.

A couple. You could feel your heart crack at the thought. Staring up at the ceiling, you placed a hand behind your head, the other trapped underneath Alessia’s body.

You don't know how long you were looking at the ceiling for until you felt Alessia’s body shift beside you. The blonde moved so she was now leaning on her arm, her body hovering over yours. She looked at you questioningly, but you didn't say anything.

“Are you doing anything today?” Alessia asked quietly.

“No, why?” You responded softly, still looking up at the ceiling.

“Do you want to do something? Like go see a movie?” Alessia questioned.

“Of course,” you smiled, finally turning to look at her, “but may I ask why?”

“Can’t friends go see a movie with each other?”

“They can.” You said, nervously looking around the room.

“Okay, what movie do you want to go see?”

“Not sure, you?”

“What's new out?”

“Um, let me see.” You mumbled, reaching over to your bedside table and grabbing your phone.

Alessia laid herself down again, her head resting on your shoulder as she watched you scroll through your phone.

“What about the nun 2?”

“Absolutely not, I hate horrors.” Alessia said firmly, shaking her head.

“C’mon, I'll hold your hand.” You teased.

“Tempting,” Alessia said, trailing off before ultimately nodding her head, “okay fine, but only if you hold my hand.”

“I promise to not let go.” You smiled, quickly booking the tickets.

You both decided to stay in bed for a little while longer, scrolling through your social media until it was time to get ready. You let Alessia choose some clothes from your wardrobe to get changed into and before you knew it, you were putting on your shoes and making your way into your car.

Alessia had the aux once again and you were both singing to your heart's content. On the way there you kept sneaking glances at the blonde next to you, unknown to you that she saw exactly what you were doing.

The drive to the cinema was short, not getting caught in any traffic leading you to arrive in record time. Putting the car into park, you found a space quite close to the entrance.

The two of you got out of your car, making your way to get some popcorn and drinks. You bought the food, much to Alessia’s dismay, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde in response.

It didn't take long for you to find your seats and now all you had to do was wait. You placed the popcorn in between you both and the drinks in the cup holders.

Reaching your hand out, you picked up a couple pieces of popcorn but dropped them instantly once you felt a hand on top of yours. Looking to your right, you saw Alessia’s cheeks flush.

“Sorry.” Alessia mumbled, pulling her hand back.

“Don’t be.” You smiled, your hand going back into your lap.

The screen in front of you turned on and the adverts began to play. You sat patiently waiting for the movie to start, occasionally glancing over to the blonde beside you.

As the movie began, you had your whole focus on the screen ahead. Popping the odd pieces of popcorn in your mouth you almost forgot about who was next to you.

That was until a jumpscare came up on the screen and a hand flew onto yours. Your eyes widened, looking down at the hand that was clutching your own. Turning your head to Alessia, she looked between you and the screen.

She tried to take her hand back but you intertwined your fingers together, resting them on her lap. Carefully, Alessia rested her head on your shoulder, looking up slightly, silently asking if what she was doing was okay.

That question, however, went out the window when another jumpscare came up on the screen. You bit back a smile as you felt Alessia shift in her seat beside you and hide her face in your neck.

As the movie went on, your mind seemed to drift off to somewhere else. Noticing the direction of your gaze, Alessia did a double-take to find you staring at her. At this point, you were no longer watching the film but instead, you were watching her.

“You okay?” You questioned quietly, lowering your head to make sure that you didn't disturb the people around you.

“Mhm.” Alessia hummed, burying her head into you further.

“You sure?” You asked, double checking just to make sure.

“Yeah, you're holding my hand.” Alessia smiled and you could feel her smile into your neck.

You felt a blush creep up the back off your neck to the tips of your ears, a beaming smile making its way onto your face.

The movie went on and Alessia hadn’t moved, her hand still in yours and her head still on your shoulder. As the credits played, you couldn't help the frown forming on your face. You really didn't want this time with Alessia to end.

Watching as everyone got up and left, you tried to stall the time you had with Alessia. She moved her head from your shoulder but didn't move either. Sending a small smile her way, you finally stood up, pulling Alessia up with you, not letting go of your hand.

Smiling to yourself, you left the cinema, gently swinging your hands back and forth between the two of you. You opened your car door for her, as well as closing it once she was fully in.

Running round to the drivers side, you sat down with a little huff, trying to think of something to prolong the time you had together. You tapped your fingers on the steering wheel, you mind coming up short on ideas.

“Want to get some food?” Alessia asked, fingers fidgeting in her lap.

“Yeah, sure. What do you want to get?” You questioned, turning the car on and pulling out of the space.

“Drive thru maybe?” Alessia said, looking out the window. “I don’t mind where.”

“Well, McDonalds is the closest?”

“McDonalds it is.” Alessia nodded.

Looking over at Alessia you noticed that she was still playing with her fingers, so putting on some big boy pants you reached a hand over and intertwined your fingers once again.

You drove in a comfortable silence until you pulled up to the McDonald’s. You ordered what you both wanted before paying, collecting your food and driving to find a parking space.

After finding somewhere to park, you turned the car off and dug into your food. Still, the two of you didn't say anything to each other, occasionally looking up from your food and when your eyes met you would exchange small smiles.

Once you finished your food, you waited for Alessia to finish hers. Not wanting to sit in an awkward atmosphere, you turned on the radio. ‘Rock your body’ by Justin Timberlake came on and you turned the volume up.

Dancing in your seat, Alessia laughed at your actions as she finished up the last of her food. Her eyes widened in confusion as you got out of the car, rounding to her side and opening her door.

“What are you doing?” Alessia wondered, looking up at you.

“Care for a dance?” You questioned, holding your hand out for her to take.

“What if someone sees us?” Alessia asked, hesitant but still taking your hand.

“So what?” You said, a blinding smile on your face as you danced with Alessia in the car park. “Besides, it's late, no one will care.”

“You’re an idiot.” Alessia chuckled, but dancing nonetheless.

“True.” You shrugged, spinning her around.

“I can’t believe I'm dancing in a McDonalds car park with you.” Alessia smiled, shaking her head.

“I’m full of fun ideas.” You said, coming down as the song came to an end.

“Mhm, you sure are.” Alessia agreed, stopping only inches away from you, her bright blue eyes staring into yours.

“Let’s get you home.” You rushed out, afraid that you’d do something to embarrass yourself.

“Okay.” Alessia said softly, sitting back down in your car.

“I’m just going to put the rubbish in the bin.” You mumbled, pointing to the take out bag.

“Don't die.” Alessia teased.

“Better keep your fingers crossed.” You replied with a chuckle that died in your throat.

As you walked over to the bin you slapped yourself on the forehead, muttering a small ‘idiot’ and squeezing your eyes shut.

You told yourself that you weren't going to fall for her and now look at you. She was turning you into a pile of mush.

Shaking your head, you tried to clear your mind before getting back in the car with her.

The radio was still playing but at a lower volume as you drove Alessia back to her place, your hand intertwined with hers as it rested on her lap. Pulling up to her place, you found somewhere to park.

Not really knowing what to do, you stayed in your seat, looking out the window, your eyes scanning whatever they could see.

“Thank you for today.” Alessia said, opening her door.

“Yeah, of course, it’s no problem.” You smiled, turning to look at her.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Alessia said, placing a kiss on your cheek before getting out of your car and walking off.

You groaned, smacking your forehead on the steering wheel, feeling your cheeks heat up. Contemplating for a split second, you made the quick decision to get out of your car and catch up to Alessia.

“Y/n?” Alessia questioned, as you jogged up to her side.

“Thought I could walk you to your door.” You said, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

“How chivalrous.” Alessia teased, bumping her side into yours.

“I have some perks.” You replied, with a smile.

The two of you continued to walk to Alessia’s place, neither of you said anything but it was perfect the way you were. Just being in each other’s presence was enough.

So lost in your mind, you hadn't noticed you were now standing outside Alessia’s front door.

“This is me.” Alessia said, opening her door before turning around to look at you.

“Yeah.” You trailed off, rocking backwards and forwards on your feet.

“Thank you again, for tonight.” Alessia smiled.

“Of course, I'll see you at training?”

“Yeah,” Alessia nodded, “goodnight, y/n.”

“Night.” You smiled before walking away.

Just as Alessia was about to close her door you turned back round and spoke up again.

“Hey, wait, uh-”

“Everything okay?” Alessia wondered, opening her door again.

“I don't want to get the wrong impression, but, erm, I kinda felt like this was a date? Was this a date? If not I’ll-” You said, your finger pointing back and forth between you and Alessia.

“Do you want to come in?” Alessia said, ignoring your question with a smile.

“T-that doesn’t answer my question.” You replied dumbly.

Not saying anything, Alessia reached out and took a hold of the collar of your top, pulling you into her and placing her lips on yours.

Once you pulled away, you stared at her in shock, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly parted.

“Does that answer your question?” Alessia teased, smiling at your reaction.

This time you didn't reply, pulling the blonde back into a kiss. The two of you stumbled into her apartment, kicking the door closed behind you. The sudden impact had stunned Alessia, her breath catching in her throat.

Her eyes were blown wide and she didn’t know what to do with herself. Her brain started to register what was going on and she finally kissed you back, wrapping her hands around your shoulders.

You both sighed contently into the kiss. Easily getting lost in each other’s presence.

The kiss, however, what was once full of tenderness and caution soon turned into hunger and passion. The two of you unable to keep your hands to yourselves.

“We’re friends?” You questioned breathlessly between kisses, unknowingly moving your way to her bedroom.

“Uh huh.” Alessia replied, pulling you closer.

“Friends don’t do this.”

“Definitely not.”

“But we’re still going to do this?”

“One hundred percent.”

Alessia felt her back hit a wall, the blonde gasping in response. You trailed kisses down her neck, gently nipping in different places but not enough to create marks. Stumbling your way into Alessia’s bedroom, clothes were strewn around the room.

Pushing Alessia onto her bed, you hovered over her. She placed a hand at the back of your neck, pulling you down and bringing your lips back together. You slid your tongue against her bottom lip, the blonde immediately granting your access.

Alessia moaned into your mouth, her mind fogged with nothing but thoughts of you. Your roaming hands squeezed at her thighs, trailing up to her waist. You pulled away breathlessly, looking into her eyes.

“Why’d you stop?” Alessia questioned, trying to bring you back in for another kiss.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay with this?” You replied, “I don't want to do anything too soon.”

“As sweet as you are. If you don’t fuck me now, we are seriously going to fall out.” Alessia said, rocking her hips against your thigh.

“Oh! O-okay.” You rushed out as your cheeks heated up.

Moving your hand to rest beside Alessia’s head the other trailed its way down to where she desperately needed you the most. With one final look of confirmation, you slid two fingers inside her.

You nearly moaned at the sounds Alessia was making beneath you and assuming you were doing a good job, you curled your fingers.

“Fuck y/n.” Alessia whispered through heavy breaths, moving her hips with the rhythm of your fingers.

Gulping back your pleasure, you focused solely on Alessia. You watched her every move, seeing the way her body reacted to your touch. She bit her lip, suppressing her from letting out any moans.

“Hey, let me hear you.” You said, pulling her lip from her teeth.

Alessia’s skin was tingling, goosebumps spreading like a wildfire as her orgasm approached with fierceness. Her hand moved down to your forearm, nails digging into your skin as her hips instinctively bucked at your touch.

You pressed your thumb down onto her clit, relishing in the way her eyes almost rolled into the back of her head at the action before coming back to focus on you.

“Shit, I'm gonna come!”

“Yeah?” You whispered, moving down close to her ear, “come for me.”

Her hips began to rock almost of their own accord along with the lazy circling of your thumb over her clit. Her head was thrown back and her hair was stuck to her forehead. Sweat dripped down her neck as she tried to chase after her high.

You could feel her beginning to clamp around your fingers, a noticeable tremble to her body, it was obvious she was close and with one final curl of your fingers and a firm press of your thumb against her clit, she arched her back off the bed. Her eyes screwed shut, body shuddering as her orgasm washed over her.

You pulled your fingers out of her, Alessia let out a small whine at the loss. Kissing her softly, you began to trail down from her lips to her jaw, neck, collarbone and then to the valley of her breasts.

“You okay?” You asked, pressing feather-like kisses across her chest.

“Yeah.” Alessia nodded, trying to catch her breath.

“Good.” You replied, trailing your kisses down further, stopping just above her pubic bone.

You nipped and sucked along her thighs, leaving small marks here and there. As much as you were enjoying creating hickies, only for you to see, Alessia was getting impatient.

She bucked her hips, hoping to hurry you up. Trying to hide a smirk, you pressed a few teasing pecks to her clit. A sudden ripple of pleasure soared through Alessia’s body. She squeezed your head between her legs, one of her hands tangled itself in your hair whilst the other went to play with her breasts.

Alessia’s eyes fluttered shut as she succumbed to the pleasure she was feeling. She moved one of her legs over your shoulder, hips moving in time with your tongue to chase her building orgasm.

When you began to feel her clenching around your tongue, you picked up your pace, only stopping to whisper breathy praises into her, using your thumb to stimulate her clit and it wasn’t long before Alessia’s body was convulsing around your head, her legs shaking as you rode her through her orgasm.

Kissing your way back up to Alessia’s face, you propped yourself up with one arm, the other, brushing strands of hair out of Alessia’s face. Taking in her appearance, her eyes were dilated, her cheeks coated pink and her lips were swollen.

“You okay?” You questioned, looking down at Alessia’s blissed out state.

“Yeah, just calming down.”

“Take as long as you need.” You smiled, placing a kiss on her hairline.

“Are you sure you haven’t done that before?” Alessia teased, trying to regulate her breathing, mentioning to the other night.

“Uh- yeah, I kinda went with the flow.” You blushed, hiding your face in your hand.

“It was perfect.” Alessia said, leaning up to kiss you softly.

“I'm glad, um, let me get you some water-”

“It’s fine, just lay with me.” Alessia said, holding you from going anywhere.

“Let me, at least, clean you up-”

“Y/n, just lay with me.”

“Okay.” You smiled, getting into a comfortable position and feeling Alessia cuddle up into your side.

The two of you didn't say anything, enjoying the tranquillity of the moment which led to the two of you drifting off to sleep.

The next couple of weeks flew past in a blur. After waking back up the following morning, you and Alessia were inseparable. You went out on every date imaginable, the two of you growing closer and closer.

You were falling when you met her but now you had landed and she had caught you. On the sixth date you asked her to be your girlfriend and to your surprise, she said yes. You hadn’t told your teammates nor any family members as you were new to all of this.

You wanted to take it slow and Alessia was quick to agree. But that went flying out the window when you let it slip that you loved her. Although the two of you hadn’t been together for long, among the pleasure one night, soft ‘I love yous’ were sighed out into the air.

Since you had been friends before, you didn't want to do anything to ruin what you had. The two of you were inseparable and you felt as if nothing could break you.

The two of you didn’t care about what anyone else thought, you were in love and nothing else mattered.

But now the time had come for international football again. After proving yourself in training, Sarina had put you in the starting eleven. You couldn't be more nervous, but luckily Alessia was there to help.

“Feeling okay?” Alessia questioned, her hand intertwined with yours.

The two of you were sitting on the coach, somewhere near the back, away from the hustle and bustle at the front.

“Yeah, just in my head that’s all.” You replied with a small smile.

“Don’t be, you’ll do great today.” Alessia said comfortingly.

“Fingers crossed.” You mumbled, resting your head against the window, watching as the world went by.

It had seemed as if you were on auto pilot, getting off the coach and changing into your kit before going out to warm up. Even the warm up went by in a flash and before you knew it, you were standing in the tunnel waiting to go out and face the Netherlands.

Although it was only a friendly, this was your first time in the starting eleven and it felt as if even more pressure was on you. The back of your mind kept telling you how everyone wanted you to fail, how you were no good, even going as far as saying that you were no right for Alessia.

You only snapped out of your thoughts when the ref blew her whistle. The game was gruelling from the start, each team putting in their all from the get go. England had a few chances and the Netherlands even less. Tackles were being made left, right and centre, each of them becoming harder than the last.

Losing yourself momentarily, your mind drifted off meaning you couldn't prepare for an incoming slide tackle. You passed the ball on, milliseconds before two feet came flying at your ankles.

Tumbling to the ground with a harsh thud, you felt all the wind being knocked out of you. Rolling onto your back with a groan, you stared up at the sky, trying to collect your breath.

Your teammates gathered around you but you waved them off, promising that you were fine. The referee had called a foul, a free kick for England in the perfect spot.

The ball was placed in your hands, the pressure of scoring almost weighing you down but you tuned everything out, finding a certain pair or blue eyes amongst the chaos on the pitch.

With a soft nod from Alessia, you knew you would be alright. Taking in a deep breath, you prepared for the free kick. After the refs whistle, you took your chance. Your foot connected with the ball, soaring its way towards the back of the net.

The stadium erupted into cheers, you had scored. The game started up again and it was as if England had found a new fire from within.

The match continued, chances at both ends but eventually England came out on top.

Everyone was in high spirits, singing and dancing around the locker room. You were all washed and changed, sitting to yourself once again as you waited for Alessia to get ready.

“Hey, we’re all going out later, do you want to join us?” Ella asked, coming to sit beside you.

“Big crowds aren’t exactly my thing.” You mumbled, picking at the skin of your fingers.

“Alessia said she’s going.” Ella said, wiggling her eyebrows in your direction.

“Um, where is it you’re going?” You questioned, looking down at your feet but you could still sense the smirk on Ella’s face.

“I’ll text you the address.” Ella said, patting you on the shoulder before walking back off to her cubby.

One by one, everyone piled out of the locker room. Leaving you and Alessia alone once again. The blonde was finishing off getting ready whilst you were scrolling through your phone.

A message from Ella popped up at the top of your screen, the notification telling you where everyone would be meeting later.

“Hey.” Alessia said, stepping in front of you.

“Hi.” You smiled, turning your phone off and opening your legs so she could stand in between them.

“I told you, you were going to play well.”

“Mhm.” You hummed, leaning forward to rest your head on her stomach.

“Are you coming out later?” Alessia questioned, running a hand up and down your back.

“Probably not, I fancy watching a movie with a nice cup of tea.” You replied, sighing contently.

“Can I come over after?”

“Of course.” You said, looking up and resting your chin on her stomach.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” You said, standing up to place a peck on her lips.

Time flew by once again and you had suddenly found yourself standing outside a random bar in the middle of god knows where. You tugged on what you were wearing, seeing what everybody else had on made you feel ridiculously out of place.

Taking in a deep breath, you made your way into the bar. Cheap perfume, sweat and a potent smell of alcohol flooded your senses. You scanned around the place trying to find someone you knew and to your surprise you did.

Making your way over to everybody, you stopped in your tracks once you saw Alessia. It was as if an angel had fallen from the sky and you were so lucky to be able to call her your girlfriend.

Finding a new found confidence, you walked over to her, wanting nothing more than to be in her arms.

“Did you do it then?” Lauren asked, looking up from her drink.

“Do what?” Alessia replied, looking behind her and trying to find you but you were nowhere to be seen.

“Get y/n to believe that you fell in love with her.” Lucy said as if it was obvious.

“I did but-”

“Who would've thought Alessia had it in her?” Rachel teased.

“No it's not like that-”

“Well, how are you going to break it off?” Ella questioned.

“I’m not, I-”

“That’s rough.” Mary muttered, sipping from her drink. “Making her believe that you fell in love for a dare and not breaking it off, sheesh.”

“It was a dare?”

The question that made everybody freeze.

Alessia turned around and all of a sudden everyone's eyes were on you. Stunned in silence, you could feel your heart shattering with each second passing by.

“Y/n-” Alessia started, walking towards you cautiously.

“Answer the question.” You said firmly, holding your hand out, stopping her from getting any closer.

“Baby, I-”

“Answer the question, Alessia. Did you pretend to fall in love with me for a dare?”

“Yes but-”

“Oh.”

Oh. You felt it there and then, your heart falling out of your chest and onto the floor, the blonde in front of you stepping on it a thousand times over.

“It was a dare at first but I really do love you.” Alessia said, begging for you to believe her.

“Uh huh.” You replied, nodding numbly, not being able to feel a single thing apart from pure heart break.

“You have to believe me, I love you so much, I really do.”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I, erm, kind of figured.” You mumbled, eyes brimming with tears as you ignored Alessia’s pleas. “I mean, why would Alessia Russo fall for someone like me?”

“Y/n-”

“I'm- uh- I’m just gonna go.” You said, sniffling slightly as you pointed to the door.

Nodding to yourself, you looked down to the ground before leaving. Your teammates behind you desperately tried to get your attention but it was no use.

You had left, leaving everyone behind. Leaving Alessia behind. Leaving your heart behind. As, after all, you had fallen for a lie.

i know alessia would never do anything like this, it’s just for story purposes:)

[its-avalon-08]

it all fell down (ln4)

part9

multipart story! part1 part2 part3 part4 part5 part6 part7 part8

✦ pairing - lando norris x female reader

summary : lando norris and y/n were friends for 20 years, fell in love and dated for five. until it all fell down. they left each others lives abruptly and never spoke again, until they met again in the most unexpected way. can they find their way back or will certain scars never heal?

Lando leaned against the wall of the Red Bull garage, watching Y/N from across the paddock. She was in the middle of a discussion with a group of engineers, her face lit up with enthusiasm as she gestured animatedly. Despite the chaotic environment around her, she was completely absorbed in her work, moving from one task to the next with a relentless focus that Lando had always admired.

But as he continued to observe her, something began to gnaw at him. It was her third meeting of the day, and she hadn’t stopped once—not even to grab a drink of water. Lando noticed the way she absentmindedly rubbed her forehead, as if a headache was beginning to settle in.

He frowned, recalling the last few days where he’d seen her in the same state—rushing between meetings, barely pausing to catch her breath. She looked exhausted, and it didn’t take much to realize she was probably skipping meals and forgetting to hydrate.

Typical Y/N, Lando thought with a mix of concern and affection. She always forgets to take care of herself when she gets this busy.

It had been a while since they started talking again, and though things between them were still uncertain, Lando couldn’t help but feel protective of her. He knew Y/N well enough to recognize when she was burning herself out, and right now, she was on the brink of it.

As if on autopilot, Lando found himself heading towards the hospitality area. He grabbed a bottle of water and a protein bar, then made his way back to where Y/N was still engrossed in her work.

“Hey,” he called out softly as he approached her.

Y/N looked up, surprised to see him. “Lando? What’s up?”

“Nothing much, just thought you might need this,” he said, holding out the water and the protein bar.

She blinked, momentarily confused before realization dawned on her. “Oh… right. Thanks, I guess I forgot.”

“You’ve been at it for hours,” Lando said, trying to keep his tone casual. “Don’t want you passing out or anything.”

Y/N chuckled lightly, but there was a hint of weariness in her eyes. “I’m fine, really. Just a lot to get done.”

“I know, but you still need to take care of yourself,” Lando insisted, his concern slipping through. “A few minutes to eat and drink won’t hurt.”

She nodded, a bit more seriously this time, and accepted the water and bar. “Thanks, Lan-Lando. I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” He gave her a small smile, but as he walked away, his mind was already racing.

Over the next few days, Lando kept an eye on Y/N, noticing how she barely took a break between tasks. Every now and then, he would bring her a snack or remind her to drink water. Sometimes, he’d find her sitting with her head buried in her hands, trying to stave off the exhaustion that was creeping in.

It was during one of these moments that an idea began to form in Lando’s mind. Y/N’s birthday was coming up, and knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even acknowledge it with everything she had on her plate. But he couldn’t let the day pass without doing something special, especially after seeing how much she was pushing herself.

That evening, after everyone had left the paddock, Lando pulled Max aside.

“Max, I need your help with something,” Lando said, his tone serious.

Max raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N’s birthday in a few days,” Lando explained. “She’s been so busy, I don’t think she even remembers. I want to plan something special for her, but I can’t do it alone.”

Max’s expression softened as he nodded in understanding. “Count me in. What do you have in mind?”

Lando’s eyes lit up as he began outlining his plan, and soon enough, Max was just as excited. They decided to involve a few of the other drivers—Carlos, Charles, Daniel, and Oscar—all of whom were eager to help. The more they discussed, the more elaborate the plan became, until it was clear that Y/N’s birthday was going to be unforgettable.

“We’ll make sure she has the best day ever,” Carlos said confidently as they finalized the details.

“Absolutely,” Lando agreed, determination in his voice. “She deserves it.”

And with that, the preparations were set in motion. Lando found himself more focused on making Y/N’s birthday perfect than on anything else, and as the day approached, he couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she realized what they had done for her.

The next day, around midday, she received a text from Lando.

Lando: Busy today?

Y/N: Ridiculously busy. Why?

Lando: No reason. Just checking in. Don’t forget to take a break, yeah?

She smiled at his message, appreciating the sentiment but still oblivious to what he had planned.

time skip

Y/N stood in front of the mirror in her hotel room, smoothing down the soft fabric of her dress. Alexandra had insisted on a girls' night out, saying it would be a good break from the chaos of the paddock. Y/N wasn’t sure why Alexandra had been so adamant about it, but she trusted her friend’s judgment and had agreed to go along.

“You look amazing,” Alexandra said as she peeked into the room, her eyes lighting up when she saw Y/N. “That dress is so so so perfect on you!”

Y/N smiled, feeling a little more at ease. “Thanks love. I just hope this night out isn’t too much. I’ve been so tired lately.”

“Trust me,” Alexandra grinned, “you’ll have a great time. Now, come on, let’s go!”

As they walked out of the hotel and into the cool evening air, Y/N felt a strange mix of excitement and nervousness. Something about tonight felt different, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Alexandra led the way, chatting about all sorts of things, but Y/N noticed that she kept checking her phone as if she was checking something.

They arrived at a private lounge area near the paddock, and Y/N’s curiosity only grew. It was a beautiful setting, with twinkling lights and a soft glow emanating from within. But it seemed quiet—too quiet for a night out. Alexandra pulled open the door, and Y/N hesitated for a moment before stepping inside.

The lights dimmed as soon as she entered, and for a brief second, Y/N was surrounded by darkness. But before she could react, the room suddenly burst to life with a chorus of voices shouting, “Surprise!”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as the lights came on, revealing all her friends and the drivers, each one grinning ear to ear. The terrace was decorated with balloons in her favorite color, a navy blue, and the scent of her favorite foods filled the air. A massive banner hung across one wall, reading “Happy Birthday, Y/N!”

Tears instantly welled up in her eyes as she took in the sight before her. She was completely overwhelmed by the love and effort that had gone into planning this surprise. The people she cared about most were all here, and the thoughtfulness of every detail made her heart swell.

“You guys…” she whispered, her voice choked with emotion.

Before she could say more, Charles stepped forward with a warm smile. “You didn’t think we’d let your birthday go by without celebrating, did you?”

Carlos clapped a hand on her shoulder, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “We know you’ve been working hard, so we wanted to make sure you had a chance to relax and enjoy yourself.”

Max nodded, holding up a glass. “Here’s to Y/N—the most amazing friend we could ask for!”

A chorus of cheers filled the room, and Y/N couldn’t hold back her tears any longer. She wiped at her eyes, laughing as she did so. “You guys are the best. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Alexandra said, pulling her into a hug. “Just enjoy it.”

As Y/N looked around the room, her eyes finally landed on Lando, who was standing off to the side with a small, fond smile on his face. He was holding a cake decorated with her favorite flavors, the candles flickering softly in the dim light. He stepped forward, his gaze locking with hers.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N,” Lando said gently, his voice full of warmth.

The sight of him holding the cake, surrounded by all her friends, made Y/N’s heart flutter. She hadn’t expected anything like this—especially not from Lando. Despite everything that had happened between them, he had gone out of his way to make her feel special.

“You did all this?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lando shrugged modestly, but there was a softness in his eyes that spoke volumes. “We all did. You deserve it.”

Y/N felt her tears threatening to spill over again, and she nodded, unable to find the right words. Instead, she let her emotions show on her face—the gratitude, the happiness, and the undeniable connection that still existed between them.

“Make a wish,” Carlos teased, gesturing to the cake.

Y/N closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She wasn’t sure what to wish for, but as she stood there surrounded by the people who cared about her, one thought kept echoing in her mind. Maybe it’s time to stop running from what I really want.

When she opened her eyes, she leaned forward and blew out the candles, the room erupting in applause. Lando stepped closer, offering her a small, lopsided smile.

“I hope your wish comes true darling,” he said softly, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the room.

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat as she returned his smile. “Me too, Lan. Me too.”

The night continued with laughter, music, and plenty of food. Y/N was constantly surrounded by her friends, but every now and then, her eyes would find Lando across the room, and their gazes would lock for just a second longer than necessary. Each time, it felt like an unspoken promise hung in the air between them—one that neither was quite ready to acknowledge, but both were beginning to understand.

taglist ---> @misspygmypie @kol67-t @sltwins @f1fantasys @sarx164 @imboredway2much @demandealalune e @elz-xo o @bellelovesharryy @hey-there9-its-me @marauders-wife @itsjustfranzi @l-sofiamia-l @ironmaiden1313 @01rrdbull @avni-sarai @maddy27

comment to get added to the taglist

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box— Cruel Weather (Part Three)

requests based off this ask: how the boys react to sissy being physically hurt

warnings: panic attacks, crying, swearing, mentions of injuries, mentions of dying, mentions to throwing up, coma, mentions of medication, lmk if i missed anything!

word count: ~4.5k

General Series Masterlist

part one — part two — part three — part four

a/n this chapter is mostly trevor centered

— — — — — — —

Trevor woke up in a leather recliner in the back corner of Y/N’s hospital room with an IV in his arm, presumably filled with sedatives to calm him down. The weight of the world fell off his shoulders when he heard the now comforting steady machine beep of his girlfriend’s heartbeat. He looked over and softly smiled when he saw that the breathing tube was out and replaced with a nasal canal.

He slowly got out of the recliner and dragged the IV pole with him to the chair next to Y/N’s bed. He bent down and softly kissed her forehead before sitting down and grabbing her hand.

“I never thought I’d be so happy to see you laying in a hospital bed,” Trevor whispered. “I’d like it better if I saw those pretty eyes of yours, sweet girl.”

Trevor sighed and felt his eyes watering. He missed Y/N. An unbearable amount. There was only a small period of time where they went without seeing each other. Or, talking, since he does go on extended roadies.

It was killing him.

Trevor didn’t get too long alone time before the rest of the worried mob rushed in. Quinn was ahead of everybody, but Jamie was a close second. Quinn joined Trevor on the side of Y/N’s bed, and Jamie positioned himself at the foot of her hospital bed with both hands on the rail. His head drooped down and tears began to fall.

“I thought I lost her,” Jamie spoke through tears.

Trevor got up immediately to comfort his friend. Quinn took his place in the seat next to Sissy, but not before noticing the IV bag following Trevor.

“Z?” he spoke up. Trevor turned to him and Quinn motioned towards his IV.

“Oh… I uh… apparently had such a severe panic attack and was fighting with the nurses that they had to sedate me instead of giving me an anxiety pill,” Trevor explained. “I’m glad they called you when I asked. Actually, that was all I was asking.”

Everyone had filed into the room by now, so Ellen went to find a nurse for Trevor to check him over one last time before removing the IV. Trevor was glad to be rid of it, but he wasn’t glad about the nasty bruise it left behind. It was tender, but it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to.

“How are you guys?” Trevor asked the group.

“We made it through the night,” Alex said. That answered Trevor’s question perfectly: not well.

“Barely,” Quinn admitted. He spoke so low that Trevor barely caught it.

“I couldn’t hear anything after Quinn said that Y/N died. I guess it was an anxiety or panic attack… I don’t know. I’ve never really had one. All I know is that Jack had to stop me from running out of the house,” Jamie opened up.

“I threw up,” Quinn added to the sharing.

“I cried on the roof,” Cole said.

“I just… felt numb,” Luke said.

No one really wanted to open up, but it needed to be done. They were all in the same boat.

“At least she’s breathing better on her own,” Jack said in an attempt to shed some light on the situation. The monstrously fucked up situation. A nightmare.

The second official day of Y/N in a coma was proving to be worse than the first day. Especially since her heart stopped the night before. Every moment there was a fear that it would happen again, and that she wouldn’t pull through that time. Every beep on the machine was like a sigh of relief. It meant she was alive. It meant there was a chance that she would wake up.

After a while, Cole asked if he could have some time alone with Y/N. He and Alex were the only two that had not gotten a chance to speak to her in hopes that she could hear them. They were the only two that hadn’t gotten a chance to get everything out without everyone being around.

“I don’t know how everyone else did this,” Cole huffed out a fake laugh. “I guess it’s not too different from when we’re talking to you and you’re too distracted to listen to us.”

Cole sat on the edge of her bed and brushed her hair back, despite the fact that it was already tamed and perfectly in place.

“It was weird not watching a movie with you on facetime last night,” Cole continued. “Turc and I didn’t know what to do. Z offered to show us the list of movies you have planned for us to watch, but I said I wanted to keep the surprise. So you have to wake up before next week, okay? I know you wouldn’t want to get too far behind.”

Cole closed his eyes to keep himself from crying. He knew he should get serious. He knew that he needed to get everything out just in case something like last night happened again. He wished he didn’t have that fear. He wished he didn’t feel like he was holding his breath every second waiting for something to happen.

“My life changed when I met you. All of ours did, but I’m not here to talk about them, am I? I’ve known Jack for a while, but I didn’t meet you until we all went to NTDP, and I wish I met you sooner. You’re like… Wonder Woman. You’re compassionate, yet stubborn. And you will go to battle for the people you care about, which is honestly everyone you meet.

“I can’t think of another person less deserving of this than you. Especially because of the time of year it happened. Only Z and Jamie will be with you until we play against the Ducks, and I think that’s what gets me the most. Besides the whole… well, you know. I love being your best friend number two, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take that away from me. From us. I hope you know half the league asks us about you every day. Suzy demands that he gets hourly updates.”

Cole was saying anything and everything to keep from breaking down, but it was no use. He couldn’t get any words out now from how hard he was crying. He climbed off the bed so that he could lay his head down on the mattress and sob. Jack tried to run in, but Cole turned him away. He needed to cry it all out. Y/N’s constant saying that “the break will be harder the longer you keep everything in” was proving to be correct. He hadn’t let his feelings out all the way, yet. And the break was brutal.

The person that Cole did eventually let in was Trevor. Trevor got it. Trevor got him. Trevor sat down quietly next to him and waited to be needed. It didn’t take long for Cole to need a hug, and Trevor was happy to give it to him.

“We’ll make it through this,” Trevor told him. “I promise. No matter what. We’ll all still have each other.”

“But we might not have Sissy,” Cole sniffled.

“Careful, or I’ll tell her you used your once a month Sissy passes,” Trevor tried to joke. It fell flat, unsurprisingly. “I’m choosing not to think about losing her. I know our girl. I know my girl. She’s randomly flown to Van Couver to see Quinn and forgot to tell me. It scared the living shit out of me, but she came back. She always comes back.”

“She always comes back,” Cole repeated, more to trick himself into believing it.

“That’s right, buddy. She always comes back.”

– – –

Right outside Sissy’s hospital room, Alex was freaking out. He was struggling so hard at the idea of talking to Y/N like it might be the last time he’d ever talk to her alone again.

“I can’t! I can-” Alex was cut off by him choking down his own cries. He felt like he needed to scream. Jack and Quinn sat on either side of him and did their best to comfort their friend. “I can’t talk to her like I’m going to lose her. But if we do, and I don’t, then…”

“It’s alright, bud,” Quinn said, putting his arm around him. “She knows. She always knows.”

Quinn was interrupted by his phone ringing, so he stepped away and let Jack continue to help Alex. He was better at playing Sissy anyways.

“Matthew?” Quinn answered, confused. “Did I forget to update you?

“I’m outside the hospital,” Matthew said, not really answering his question. “I couldn’t stand it anymore. I kept hoping that she’d facetime two days ago, even though I knew she wouldn’t. I already talked to my coach. I wasn’t playing well with her on my mind. I need to be here.”

Quinn understood. He more than understood. He understood more than Matthew did.

“It just… it wasn’t a call I was expecting to ever get. And I really didn’t want something worse being told to me over the phone,” Matthew elaborated. “Can you come get me?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a couple minutes,” Quinn said before he hung up.

Quinn told Jack that he was going to get Matthew so that he could subtly let Trevor and Cole know. He really hoped that him being here won’t take away anyone’s ability to be vulnerable, but Matthew was just as important to her as almost anyone else, despite him not being in the “group,” for lack of a better term.

When Quinn returned with Matthew, Cole and Trevor were out in the hallway.

“We thought you might want a moment alone with her,” Jack told him.

“Just don’t confess your love to her. She might leave me for you,” Trevor joked. He was proud of himself for getting a small smile out of the clearly distressed man.

“I’ll hold back, just for you,” Matthew countered before entering the room.

Matthew’s breath hitched when he saw Y/N. Not so much as a picture was sent to him. Quinn told him that she looked worse with a tube down her throat, so he was glad that she was just left with a nasal canal now. He sat down next to her, but he didn’t hold her hand. It didn’t feel right to him. It felt like it would solidify the idea of her dying.

“Hey, little mouse,” he sighed, tearing up. “It’s uh… your rat. Or I guess sometimes you call me Ratty, or Matty, or Matty Rat, Matty Ratty, anyways– whatever you’re in the mood for calling me, it’s me. Fuck, this is hard.”

He was crying silent tears now. Y/N really was in a coma. He knew it before, but seeing her makes it a hundred times worse. He’d known her for five years. He played along to her silly little school girl crush. He bought her flowers for her sixteenth birthday because she asked him to come to her party! He watched her go through her teenage years, hell– she still is one, and now he’s praying that she’ll make it through the night. He’s praying that she’ll wake up.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I was trying to still be a leader for my team, but even the coaches knew I wasn’t playing like my usual self and let me come here. I can’t even imagine the pain everyone else out in the hall for you is in. Especially Quinn and Trevor.

“You don’t deserve this. I’m sure if you can hear, you’ve heard just about everyone say it, but it’s true. I don’t think anyone else would drop everything and fly to Calgary just because I’m playing against one of your friends, and I know you do that for everyone else, too. You’re a light, little mouse. For everyone. It’s getting too dark without you, so you need to wake up, okay? You’d do anything for the people you care about and that’s what we all need. You.”

Matthew finally caved and took a hold of Y/N’s hand. His tears were dropping more fiercely now, and her touch helped a little. He smiled when she squeezed his hand. Quinn told him that she might do that and it’s all subconscious, but Matthew couldn’t help but hope it was because she heard him.

– – –

The parents went to acquire lunch for everyone, and while they were out, the boys all went into the hospital room. Cole, Alex, and Jamie didn’t really know Matthew, so they were happy for the distraction of younger teenage Sissy stories from before they met her. Jamie especially, because he didn’t meet her until a few months ago. And yet, they already loved each other. That’s how special Y/N is.

“Wait, so she actually fell over the couch trying to talk to you?” Cole laughed. “How have I not heard this?”

“Because Mr. Boyfriend here doesn’t like discussing the little mouse crush era,” Matthew laughed.

“That sucks, Z, because I need to know everything,” Alex said.

“You know some of it,” Trevor mumbled. “Even when she moved to Michigan and met all of us, she still fawned over him at first.”

“Wait, you’re the Matty she couldn’t stop talking about?!” Cole shouted. “This makes so much sense!”

“She practically begged him to come to her sixteenth birthday party,” Quinn told the group.

“She tripped when he came through the door,” Jack snicked.

“You went?” Jamie asked. “Weren’t you in the league by then?”

“I was playing in Calgary,” Matthew explained. “It wasn’t too long of a plane ride and the date worked out, so I couldn’t bear to say no to her.”

“He bought her flowers and I got nothing,” Jack added, jokingly sounding bitter.

“I could go buy you something from the vending machine down the hall; would that help? Clearly, you’re still upset over your lack of a sixteenth birthday present,” Matthew teased him.

“It would,” Jack said. Matthew laughed and pulled out his wallet to give Jack his card. “Thanks, Matty!”

Silence lingered for a bit when Jack left. It started with Trevor. He stopped smiling and brought his girlfriend’s hand to his lips and lightly kissed each knuckle. Everyone saw it and just couldn’t find a reason to laugh anymore.

“She squeezed my hand,” Matthew said. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but there’s hope, right? It was after I finished speaking. So who knows? Maybe she’s getting closer.”

Trevor sent him a small smile and nodded his head, which was the best he could offer.

“I hope she can hear us,” Trevor said. “I hope she knows how loved she is.”

“She knows,” Alex said, mirroring Jack’s words to him. “She always knows.”

What Trevor didn’t tell the group is that Y/N squeezed his hand after Alex finished talking. Maybe Matthew was right, maybe she is closer to waking up.

– – –

After everyone left, Trevor was too drained to stay up. Luckily, the nurses were kind enough to keep the recliner in the corner of the room for him, so he laid it back and tried to get settled to get some sleep. He stayed on his phone scrolling aimlessly for a while before eventually passing out.

Sleep wasn’t kind to Trevor. He was plagued by endless nightmares, none of them allowing the sweet release of waking up. Over and over again he saw and heard Y/N dying. One mirrored the actual event of her flatlining, in another she woke up and died in his arms, and another she didn’t even make it out of the car. After a second showing of the actual event he witnessed the night before, he finally shot himself awake. He was panting, and he was sure that a scream escaped his lips. He wildly shook his head to try and find Y/N, and the sound of her heart beating steady brought him some ease.

He walked over to her and sat down to grab her hand, “Just keep that heart beating for me, okay, sweet girl? That’s all you gotta do.”

Trevor smiled to himself when she squeezed his hand again, but he tried to not get his hopes up. It didn’t mean anything. It was mere coincidence.

What did mean something was the soft groans that escaped her lips.

“Y/N?” he asked urgently, standing up. Nothing. “Sissy?”

His hand was squeezed again and he heard muffled sounds coming from her. He swore he heard her say “don’t call me that.”

“If you’re awake, I need you to open those pretty little eyes for me, sweet girl,” Trevor said softly as he stroked her hair. “I know it hurts, but I need to see them.”

She groaned heavily, but began to flutter her eyes open, “you’re bossy.”

Trevor collapsed into his chair and heaved the biggest sigh of relief. He took her hand in both of his and held it up to his lips, pressing a firm and lingering kiss on them and allowed the tears to fall.

“You’re awake! Oh my god, you’re awake!” Trevor said through tears.

— — —

Your mind was muddied, but you knew the sound of your boyfriend crying well enough to know that that is what you were hearing.

“Why wouldn’t I be awake?” you slurred. Your vision was less cloudy now and you could see the situation you were in.

Hospital bed. Leg suspended in a sling. Shoulder wrapped and on a pillow-like thing. Feeling extremely groggy. In pain. Trevor’s crying.

Trevor’s crying.

Trevor’s crying.

You brought your hand up to Trevor’s face and cupped his cheek, wiping a tear away with your thumb, “Why are you crying, my love?“

“You- you… you,” he was starting to get worked up.

“Shhhh,” you cooed. “It’s okay. I’m okay. What happened?”

“I saw you die! Your heart stopped beating and the world ended and I couldn’t do anything and I keep hearing the flat line and–”

“Okay, okay, it’s okay,” you said. “Come here.”

“You’re hurt, Y/N/N. Bad. I don’t need to be in this bed with you,” Trevor said.

“Is anything on my upper body besides my shoulder injured ?”

“No, but–”

“So come here.”

Trevor slowly crawled into the small space between you and the bed rail.

“Lay down on my chest,” you whispered to him.

He carefully laid down on your chest, being mindful of your IV, and wrapped his arms around you.

You took deep breaths as you rubbed his back. Yeah, you were the one in the hospital, but your boyfriend just told you he saw you die and you weren’t about to let him suffer.

“See? It’s beating now,” you said low and you stroked his hair with your good arm.

“It’s beating now,” Trevor sighed in relief.

“It’s beating now,” you reaffirmed.

“I need to tell a doctor that you’re awake,” Trevor said.

“We can tell them tomorrow,” you said back. “I just want to lay with you before the real pain sets in. We can talk about whatever happened tomorrow.”

You didn’t know how long you’ve been in the hospital, but you did know that Trevor was incredibly tense and terrified. You were worried out of your mind about him. It didn’t matter how much pain medication was surely in you, even your clouded mind could tell your boyfriend wasn’t okay. You rubbed his back up and down until his tears ceased and you felt him relax against you.

“I thought our forever was going to get cut short,” he said sleepily.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily,” you said.

“I love you, forever.”

“I love you, always.”

— — —

You woke up early the next morning to a nurse going near Trevor to probably tell him off.

“Don’t touch him,” you scolded her.

“You’re awake!” the nurse jumped. She wasn’t expecting her coma patient to be awake. “Unfortunately, this does mean we’ll need to run some tests, so he will need to get up.”

“Can you give us an hour?” you pleaded with her. She gave you a playfully scolding look, but agreed. She gave you another dose of pain medication when you said you were in some pain, making sure to emphasize that Trevor was not that source, and left. Trevor slept through it all.

You found yourself humming and slipping your hand up Trevor’s shirt to softly scratch his back. You had an hour before chaos began and you were going to cherish every second of it.

“I love it when you sing,” you heard him mumble into your chest.

“Good morning to you, too, handsome,” you laughed lightly. “Thank you.”

You felt Trevor nod his head and cuddle up closer to you, placing his head back over your heart. You had a feeling he might need to do that a lot.

“My love, can you check what time it is? The nurse gave us an hour,” you said sleepily.

Trevor groaned but he carefully got off of you to check his phone. His sleepy eyes were soon filled with panic, “Oh shit! Shit!”

Alarmed, you tried to sit up, but you felt a jolt of pain and cried out. Trevor rushed over and eased you back down.

“Are you okay?! Do you want me to get a nurse? I should–”

“Z! Why did you say oh shit?” you cut him off.

“I didn’t immediately tell Quinn that you woke up, and when he finds out that I didn’t–”

“Quinn’s here?” you asked.

Trevor sat down on the edge of your bed and grabbed your hand, “Everyone’s here, sweet girl. They all flew in. Half the league’s been asking for updates. You’re famous, kid.”

You didn’t know how to take that. You were in pain, sure. Apparently you died which was already too much to think about. And now virtually everyone you know is asking about you? It wasn’t fun to think about. It wasn’t fun to think about how many people have worried over you. Trevor was a mess, and you couldn’t even begin to think about everyone else.

You’re the go to person. You vow to make every single person you hold dear, every single person you love, feel safe and loved. You’re the person people go to for support. You have people to go to, but who do you go to when everyone else is struggling with you?

Eventually your hour alone with Trevor was over, at apparently five am, and he had to be kicked out for testing. He freaked out a tad— okay a lot— but he settled for waiting outside in the hall with the door open and you periodically telling him that you were still there. That didn’t last long. A nurse accidentally caused your heart monitor to fall off your finger, causing the flat line to sound again, which caused Trevor to scream. You tried to call out to him, but your voice was too weak and his voice was too strong.

“Help him!” you shouted at a nurse.

You hated what happened next. Trevor’s cries and screams died down, and you were told that they put him in a room after being lightly sedated to calm him down. They explained to you that it happened two nights ago, as well.

“If he stayed in that recliner last time, he needs to be brought in here again. Or he’ll wake up and freak out again,” you told the nurse. “Trust me on that.”

She ended up listening to you, since he did spiral himself into a panic attack just because you were out of his sight. You didn’t know he actually had one, you thought it was just screams. You wished you were right.

You had just enough energy left in you to wait for Trevor to be placed in the recliner. He was out of it, he barely classified as a human at this point. You watched as he got settled and the nurses left, and when his eyes closed, so did yours.

You didn’t know how long you were asleep, but Trevor had drug his IV to your bedside and parked himself in the chair next to you.

“Are you okay?” you asked groggily.

“What? I should be asking you that” Trevor said, dodging your question.

“Z,” you said seriously.

Trevor just looked at you. He looked so guilty. He looked so broken.

“Jack told me that the second you open your eyes, I need to be strong for you if none of them are here. None of them are here yet today and instead of being strong, have an IV with sedatives to not have a panic attack,” Trevor said quietly. “Not even pills, Y/N! An IV bag!”

“Okay, okay,” you got out quickly. “Trev, what you saw is scarring. You never should have seen that, and I’m so sorry that you did. We’re gonna be a bit of a mess for a while it seems, but we’ll be a mess together. We can take turns being the strong one.”

“I need to take care of you,” Trevor said. “You’re hurt, Y/N/N. Bad. You’re going to need help doing everyday things. I can’t be a mess when you need me.”

“Yes you can, Z,” you told him, rubbing his hand with your thumb. “I don’t want anyone holding in anything for me, because that’ll make the break so much harder. Just because I’m going to need help physically doesn’t mean we can’t help each other mentally.”

“I hate to break it to you, but I think all of us are going to need help mentally,” Trevor admitted.

You gave him a sad smile and squeezed his hand, “Good thing I’m awake then, huh?”

Trevor smiled back, but you could tell he really didn’t mean it.

“Jack was playing your part, don’t worry. He held us together for a while.”

“It’s a twin thing,” you joked.

“That’s what Jack said,” Trevor laughed lightly, making you actually smile.

You could tell Trevor was still uneasy, so you had him lay down with you again, but this time he got next to you. You couldn’t lean against him, because moving was agonizing, but the touching of shoulders and your unbroken leg between his was enough for you. He caught you up on everything. He didn’t like it, but you needed it. You needed to know what happened to your friends and family while you were out. All of it absolutely broke your heart, but you were ready to heal with everyone. Physically and mentally. Together.

He told you that almost everyone had a moment alone with you. You wished it was like the movies because you wish you could’ve heard them.

“Do you remember what you said?” you asked Trevor.

“You want to know what I said?”

“I want to know what everyone said. It might help us all get through this.”

Trevor checked his phone, “Visiting hours start in an hour. Why don’t we just lay here together until they come and at some point you can hold one on one therapy sessions?”

It was a reasonable request. You were exhausted, and Trevor had already been through so much in the last three hours. Trevor put a movie on his phone, The Hunger Games, and you laid your head on his shoulder and drifted off to sleep again.

———

reblogs appreciated! it helps spread fics <;3

[slayfics]

Hello! I’ve been reading your posts for a couple weeks now and I love them sm! Muichiro has a place in my heart after season 3 lol. I was wondering if you could do a one shot where the reader saves him from a vital blow from a demon after a bad argument? It hits her in her shoulder and goes almost all the way through her body. So there’s blood and all that stuff. It splashed muichiro in the face and he’s just silent as reader hits the floor. He defeats the demon and reader is just unconscious (not dead) and he freaks? Idk how it would end though? If this sounds absolutely crappy just ignore me 🥹 love your writing!

You get badly hurt by a demon after a fight with Muichiro.

Warnings: blood

You couldn't believe after all this time Muichiro still had the nerve to talk down to you. Sure you were still ranked lower than him but you had proven your worth, the days of feeling you didn't deserve respect were long gone.

You cursed the fact that you both were summoned in the middle of an argument to quickly catch a group of demons. Even more, frustration welled up inside you that Obanai had already beaten you both to the demon.

Why were you even summoned when a Hashira was already at the demon? Whatever the case, you and Muichiro quickly got to work attacking the demons with Obanai.

Whether it was due to the reassuring presence of Obanai being another Hashira in the fight, or the argument you were both in right before the fight, you both seemed to be disorganized in the fight.

To the point that you saw Muichiro left an opening for a demon to come right for him. Without thinking you quickly moved yourself between Muichiro and the demon.

The demon's attack went completely through your shoulder splashing blood everywhere. Swiftly Muichiro spun and cut the demon's head off as you fell to the floor.

Obanai had just taken out he last demon and rushed to assess the situation with Muichiro.

Muichiro stared over your body completely in shock as more blood from your wound spilled out to soak his feet.

"What the hell are you doing just standing there!" Obanai barked at Muichiro. Obanai quickly took off his haoir and wrapped it around your wound.

"We have to get her to the Butterfly Mansion right away,"

Muichiro blinked away the tears forming in his eyes, "Right-" He finally spoke.

"Well pick her up!" Obanai commanded, irritated at Muichiro's shock and lack of action.

Muichiro shook his head quickly trying to focus then carefully grabbed you into his arms. Obanai took off in the direction of the Butterfly Mansion and Muichiro followed right behind.

"Why were you both fighting so carelessly?" Obanai asked, as the two Hashria's continued to run.

"We were in the middle of a disagreement when we were summoned," Muichiro spoke.

"Hmm- I see," Obanai responded.

"Iguro..." Muichiro called from behind.

"Yes, Tokito?"

"She'll be alright won't she?"

"If we are fast enough," Obanai answered.

You woke up in the Butterfly Mansion to the sight of a misty-eyed Muichiro sitting across from you. Immediately he stood up when your eyes opened. You didn't feel any pain, actually the opposite you couldn't feel the right side of your body.

"Tokito?" You called hazily looking at the Hashira.

"Do you need anything? How do you feel? Are you ok?" He bombarded you with questions.

"I can't really feel anything yet," You answered. 'What happened?"

"I wasn't paying attention and you took an attack from a demon to save me," he explained.

"Oh..." You started to have some memories of the event flooding back to you.

"Are you ok?" You asked.

Muichiro scoffed, "Yes thanks to you," He answered. "I shouldn't have been so careless," He said, looking down at the floor.

"It's ok- we weren't really in a good mindset. I'm sorry we fought," you said.

"No, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one that let you down. I was useless in that fight," he scolded himself.

"You got me back here safe. It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself," You tried to console him.

"No, I can't take credit for that either. I stood frozen while Iguro took control of the situation. You should be thanking him, not me," Muichiro said, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Tokito, it's ok. It was just a bad day. Nothing we can't overcome," you pleaded with him.

"No, I- I'm sorry I should go-" He said, turning to walk out and get one of the butterfly girls.

"No!" You yelled at the Hashira. "Don't leave me please!"

"You really want my company after the harsh things I said and my negligence in today's fight," he said bitterly.

"You're so aggravating sometimes, Tokito! Just come here," You said sternly, swallowing a lump in your throat.

Muichiro reluctantly moved closer to you. You reach out for his hand bringing it to your lips and gently placing a kiss.

"Stop being so difficult," you commanded. Finally, Muichiro's shoulders relaxed a bit and a smile found a way to his face.

Thank you so much for the request I hope you enjoy it~

Tags~

@aeolia18 @yandere-kou @sakurasunkiss @hashiroses @plvuii @snowmist-hashira

[pommpuriinn]

݂ ໋ ・ ゜* 𓈒 BREAKING POINT

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ synopsis ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - with the recent controversy with Hybe and its sub label some hurtful comments were said about Joohyung that caused her to hit her breaking point

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ A/N ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ - this is very angsty and sad it almost made me cry at times, sorry that it takes me so long to write for Joohyung :(

Coming back into reality after performing your heart out was always the hardest thing. Especially with Sihyuk and another heejin are saying about groups inside and out of the company. Joohyung was beyond pissed, like no one has ever seen Joohyung this mad before nor even during the trainee days. Currently text messages from Sihyuk and Heejin was released and they didn’t say much about txt, but only saying that Sihyuk already wanted to debut another group even though txt was only a month old. Confirming that he really didn’t even care about them from the beginning which already isn’t a good start and Joohyung was seeing red. The thing that threw Joohyung completely off was the conversation of Heejin wishing she could’ve had Joohyung before they made the final line of txt, but also wishes she was a few years younger than she would have done anything to get her even if she was already set to debut with txt. The cherry on top was Sihyuk offered the idea of Joohyung switching from txt to ador’s future group, basically throwing Joohyung around like a toy anyone could play with. Heejin even talked about Joohyung and Beomgyu’s relationship and how she’s thankful she didn’t take Joohyung because “she ruined the illusion for her male fans and would’ve been a burden to control”.

Sihyuk was willing to overwork Joohyung even more and not consider the group’s feeling nor Joohyung’s, and he was just going to do it without even asking Joohyung. Plus Heejin calling Joohyung “too old” even though she was just 21 when she debuted. Then saying Joohyung ruined a “fantasy” that she never entertained for her male audience.

Everyone felt the tension as they all walked through the Incheon airport coming back from Belgium. Joohyung was walking ahead not holding on to any of her members nor walking next to them, and she didn’t want to entertain anyone nor did she accept the fan letters. Luckily, Soobin took the letters for Joohyung. The car ride was even worst, none of the members said a word as they themselves were also going through the emotions. “Can you stop by my apartment, please.” The driver nodded towards Joohyung. Yeonjun risen his eyebrow kinda confused on what Joohyung needed since they had to go straight to the company building to practice for the upcoming tour. He was getting a bad feeling.

The car came to a stop behind the apartment complex building. Joohyung got her things stepping out of the car, “what are you forgetting?” Yeonjun’s question stopped Joohyung from walking further. “Nothing. I’m not going.” Joohyung didn’t face them. “But it’s the concert-“

“I don’t care!” She snapped at Yeonjun. The members winced at the harshness of her words. “I don’t fucking care anymore! We work too damn hard for his ass to not care about us!” They have never and I mean never seen Joohyung this distressed. “Look, Joohyung-ah I’m sure it was just the heat of moment type of thing he cares about the group.” Their staff member tries to reason with her. “If he did care he wouldn’t have already had thoughts of wanting to debut another group when we barely got out of the hell hole you guys called training.” Joohyung got close to the staff’s face. Immediately Taehyun rushed out of the car and got between them. “Noona.” Taehyun shaken voice called for her. “They called me a burden and someone who ruins fantasies…and a toy they can throw around.” Joohyung broke down in tears into Taehyun’s chest.

At this point all the members had tears in their eyes. Hearing the reality that has happened from their distressed member. “They wanted to take me away from my members.” Joohyung sobbed. One by one got out of the car squeezed Joohyung into a hug. “We wouldn’t allow it Joohyung.” Yeonjun sniffled. “You’re not burden, you’re far from that.” Soobin caressed her head. “Don’t listen to them mine Jooie. You don’t ruin anything they’re just bastards who know nothing.” Beomgyu gave her multiple kisses on her cheek trying to comfort her. Kai was scared if he talked that he will break down as well, so he opted to just hold her tight wanting to squeeze the anger and sadness away.

The staff member quickly texted Eunha to come right away and at least stay with Joohyung at her place. Eunha raced over and not even 10 minutes later she was there. “Oh Joohyung.” She instantly pulled a tear stained Joohyung into her arms. As she was hugging Joohyung, Eunha also squeezed Taehyun’s shoulder for reassurance. “I think it’s best for you guys to continue on with the concert practice session without Joohyung. I also made sure for them to cut it short for today since it’s been…a hell of a day.” The members nodded, they didn’t want to leave Joohyung but they knew they had their duties to attend to. “Don’t worry, I’ll take extra care of her.”

The boys felt like lost puppies without Joohyung. “She has never miss a single schedule for 5 years.” Kai was empty on the inside. “I know Huening, but we have to practice even harder for noona.” Soobin tried his best to somehow lighten the mood, but it wasn’t working. “I…I have never seen Joohyung this…broken before.” Yeonjun signed, replaying the whole scene again and again.

-

All of their staff members go the text of Joohyung not attending the practice for today and…further notice. The staff members had to work fast on the possibility of Joohyung not participating in future schedules for her mental health maybe even the whole tour. The staff felt the sad emotions that oozed out of the boys when they walked into the practice room.

“Ok, let’s try this new formation.” Their choreographer suggested, the boys moved into their new places. Taehyun felt like something wasn’t right with the formation, he looked around the members and realized; ‘where is Joohyung going to stand?’

“Um…where is noona’s position?” Taehyun asked. The room went silent and the staff members looked at each other basically asking who’s going to break the news to the group? The boys started to feeling the energy of the room and immediately started having panicking thoughts. Finally one of their protocol team members spoke up, “ah…guys, due to the recent events with Joohyung we don’t think she will be mentally ready to continue with the tour. So it’s better if we prepare and plan ahead with new formations, and-”

“No! We can’t go on tour without Joohyung! Are you guys crazy?” Beomgyu lashed out. “Moa wouldn’t accept this!” Yeonjun felt betrayed. “Let’s, let’s call it a day everyone.” The boys were in denial about the thought of Joohyung going on hiatus, but at the same time they couldn’t blame her with everything she just went through.

-

Eunha kept Joohyung company for a couple of days helping Joohyung cope with everything. Joohyung has stopped crying after the third day, but she was still in her head about the events that happened prior. Joohyung ate little by little, stayed in her room in the dark, and kept on hugging her cats for comfort. Everyone thought keeping Joohyung and the boys separated for a bit was for the best for Joohyung, because whenever Eunha tried talking about the members Joohyung would start full on crying. Eunha still kept the boys updated about Joohyung, and they also agreed that it would be the best for Joohyung. She will come see them when she’s ready, and even though they didn’t see each other in person the boys would always send her cute encouraging messages.

Joohyung did have intrusive thoughts about leaving the company along with the group because she started believing she was a burden to the group. Luckily Eunha would talk her out of it immediately saying ‘tomorrow x together wouldn’t be the same without Joohyung’. Even though Joohyung was slowly getting better she unfortunately develop having panic attacks with the thought of facing everyone again. To help with calming her down Eunah would let Joohyung hug her while she caresses Joohyung’s head, another method was having Poki or Bibi(her cats) on her lap while she pets them.

-

The members really started worrying because the tour starts in a week and Joohyung hasn’t fully felt comfortable to continue her schedules. You could tell the boys weren’t themselves throughout this whole practicing period, and the staff felt for them.

That was until hearing the door open while they were practicing ‘Deja Vu’ and seeing a pale looking woman with a hat covering half her face. “Hi.” Joohyung waved, looking up at her members. The room erupted in cheers from her members who dropped everything and ran to her with open arms. Feeling the warmth again made Joohyung immediately burst into tears. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into their chest. “No J-Joohyung.” Yeonjun shook her his ‘no’ with tears falling down. “It’s not your fault Joohyung-ah.” Taehyun mumbled into her shoulder.

After pulling apart Joohyung gave each member a long hug. They all gave Joohyung a tight squeeze while expressing how much they missed her. Some staff members were crying at the scene in front of them, but what really broke them was Joohyung and Beomgyu reuniting. After Soobin finally let Joohyung go Beomgyu pulled her into tight hug while crying to her, “Jooie, I-I miss you so mu-much.” He hiccuped. “I didn’t protect you hard enough, I’m sorry.” Beomgyu sniffled, he felt ashamed of himself for not shielding Joohyung from all the negativity. “It’s not your fault Beomgyu.” Joohyung gently pulled away from the hug to wipe his tears. “I’m never letting any of those bastards hurt you ever again.” Beomgyu pouted, and pulled Joohyung back into the hug.

After the emotional reunion they all sat down in the middle of the practice room and Joohyung started catching them up. Throughout her time away Joohyung did end up going to the hospital for a check up physical and mentally. She was diagnosed with a panic disorder after the extreme anxiety and stress she went through during the time. Joohyung even expressed her the dark thoughts she was having with the members, but she lighten the mood with telling them she would always read their messages to get her through the day and those bad thoughts. Joohyung knows it’s too early to come back, but she can’t let them do this tour without her. Her members and moa really give her the strength to move forward.

-

Joohyung was thankfully for her ability to pick stuff up fast during the one week she had to perfect everything, of course she wasn’t too far behind because they have been preparing weeks before. It still wasn’t easy for Joohyung, as her body was getting used to her old routine again. She felt more tried than usual and she tried not to show it, but her members caught on quickly especially while they were practicing in the actual arena. “Don’t push yourself too much noona.” Kai rubbed Joohyung’s back. “Here drink some water.” Soobin opened a water bottle for her. Joohyung accepted the water bottle and took small sips before they continued their practice.

Another obstacle she faced was after they did their group introduction Joohyung felt her chest tighten, and started experiencing shortness of breath. She was getting a panic attack. Joohyung closed her eyes and tried controlling her breathing, but after it wasn’t working she winced and went behind Beomgyu and started hugging him. Beomgyu knew what was happening and gently pulled Joohyung forward to hug her while whispering ‘it’s going to ok’ and pecking her temple.

Throughout all of Joohyung’s new found struggles she was still able to pull through and make it to the first ever show of Act: Promise. Their whole team was extremely happy that the group was able to come out of such a dark time. Even though there is still some struggles the group is facing they are just happy that they have each other to lean on, and still put on an amazing show for their moa.

[ace-of-clubs-and-diamonds]

Too Late I'm Dead

After rushing out from a Jigsaw survivors meeting, you meet another survivor who isn't exactly intent on attending group therapy. A companionship blossoms, and then a friendship. And then, something else.

Rating: Explicit, NSFW 🔞 Fandom: Saw Pairing: Amanda Young x AFAB!Reader Word count: 5.1K Content warnings: Gore, mentions of self-harm (both in the Jigsaw trap context and the more typical context), trauma, PTSD, angst, discussions of disability (since a lot of Jigsaw traps are disabling), Saw is its own warning, smoking, alcohol consumption, flirting, kissing, making out, biting, vaginal fingering, friends to lovers, as is Saw tradition gay shit goes down in the bathroom, reader is AFAB but gender neutral AO3 link: Here

Author's Note: And here’s Blood Fest Week 3, with the keywords “twisted” and “fixation” and the prompts “traps” and “rage”!! “Traps”, of course, got me thinking about Saw. And since I’m down terribly bad for Amanda and have seen appallingly few fics for her…. well, why not? Underrated characters are kind of my signature anyway. Hope y’all enjoy! <3

“Hi everyone. My name is Brandon and…. I’m a Jigsaw survivor.”

A subdued chorus of Hi Brandons echoed around the small church room. You barely even bothered to mouth the words. The gesture felt about as empty as the tipped over plastic water bottle you’d discarded by your chair some time ago. There was coffee at the sad makeshift snack table too, as well as a box of pastries that looked a few days past their prime, but you figured you didn’t need the caffeine to make you any more jittery than you already were. Your leg was bouncing enough as it was.

“It’s been about a year since uh. Well.” Brandon smiled nervously and made a vague, fluttery gesture with his hands. “Well. You know.”

A quiet, obligatory response from the other people – a murmur, a nod of heads. You stared at your bouncing knee.

“I’ve made great progress with my recovery. My knees have healed really well. I can fully walk on them again, even run if I’m careful. My dog Rex doesn’t really like it when I’m careful though.” He laughed fondly. A couple others offered the obligatory chuckle. “They hurt if I get too eager with stairs. Or if it’s too humid. But it’s going really well. I’m really, really proud of the progress I’ve made.” He nodded, as if assuring himself.

He’d had to break both his knees in order to get out of his trap. Was in a wheelchair for months and only recently started moving around without it. Or so you’d been told.

You weren’t sure you’d be able to break your own knees.

“Somedays, though.” Brandon looked away from the loose circle you all formed. Blinked rapidly. “Somedays, it feels like I haven’t made any progress. Somedays it’s hard. Really hard. And it feels like I didn’t survive that trap. Or if I did, some part of me got left behind.”

Everyone else was nodding, some with sad, understanding smiles on their faces. Your own pulse thundered in your ears like a distant, approaching storm.

“It’s really hard to have hope on those days, but…. what else can I do?” He shrugged, a helpless smile on his face. “Give up? Wallow around in my own misery? I can’t live like that. No one can live like that. Not forever. You just have to choose. You have to make a choice, just like the choices we made to be here. You have to choose to live. You have to choose hope. Or else you just can’t survive.”

You shot to your feet, heartbeat pounding in your ears, chair scraping back. Every face in the room turned to look at you. The church felt too small. Your ribs felt too tight. You felt too…. seen.

Who was he to judge you for wallowing in what you’d fucking gone through?

You spun around and bee-lined for the exit.

The cool city air against your face was a relief as you barged through the church’s double doors. But you stopped in your tracks as you spotted someone else already there. A woman was sitting on the church stairs. She twisted around, eyebrows raised and half-hidden by the choppy, irregular bangs across her forehead.

“Uh. Hey,” you said, somewhat awkwardly.

She paused, as if uncertain. Of what? You weren’t sure. “Hey,” she eventually said back. Then, after another pause, she twisted further around, a frown crossing her features. “Is the meeting over?”

“No. I just needed some air.” Fuck, you needed something to calm yourself. You dug around in your jacket pockets until you found a lighter and a cigarette. “Um. Do you mind if I…?”

She stared at the cigarette in your hand with an expression you couldn’t quite decipher, but eventually shook her head no. You internally shrugged and lit up. The first drag uncoiled the tension that had built up in your muscles, and you breathed the smoke out on a relieved sigh.

The woman glanced between you and the church doors. “Having fun in there?”

Did she know? The place didn’t exactly advertise, but it wasn’t exactly a secret either. You scanned her face. She looked vaguely familiar, but you couldn’t quite place her. Had you seen her in the meetings before? “Oh, yeah, lots. You know. Fun therapy shit.” Supposedly, anyway. It was supposed to be some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous shit, but instead it was for the few survivors of an active fucking serial killer. Jigsaws Anonymous or whatever the fuck.

“Must be going well if you’re out here,” she said dryly, resting her chin on a propped-up fist.

You shrugged, taking another drag. “Well…” Did you really want to tell her about how Brandon’s words had hit just a little too close to home? How they’d made you feel too small, as if the sticks you’d used to prop up your fragile post-trap reconstruction of the world had suddenly snapped, and the weight of it all was now bearing down on you? She was a stranger waiting outside the church. She could’ve been some Jesus freak for all you knew.

Not that she really looked like one. Not with the sheer red shirt over a black bra and fishnet undershirt, or the combat boots, or the sheer exhaustion around her eyes.

She looked less like a Jesus freak and more like you did on the days you could bear to look in the mirror.

So you just shrugged again. “It can be a lot,” you said. “What about you? What’re you doing out here?” You hesitated. “There’re still seats open if you wanted to…”

“No thanks. I’m good.” She offered you a close-lipped smile. “I’ve heard enough of the sob-stories.”

Yeah. You could understand that.

She didn’t look like she was going anywhere, and you didn’t exactly have plans of your own. So you gestured to the stairs next to her. “Mind if I sit?”

“Be my guest.”

You sat to her right so the wind wouldn’t blow cigarette smoke into her face. The smooth grey stone steps were wide enough that it didn’t feel quite so awkward sitting in silence together. Even though you could feel her analyzing you as you took another puff.

You blew the smoke away and smirked dryly at the cigarette. “Think Jigsaw’s gonna put me in another deathtrap for smoking?” You ignored the tightening in your chest as you said the words. Ignored the tremor of unease. Surely it wouldn’t be enough. Surely lightning wouldn’t strike twice.

“He wouldn’t do that.” She said it with such simple certainty, as if it was an inarguable fact. Even still, you found yourself stubbing the cig out and searching for a trash can to toss it into. You didn’t want to just flick it into the grass. Maybe Jigsaw would get you for littering. Maybe he was really passionate about saving the planet.

Who needed to be God-fearing with the possibility of Jigsaw watching your every move?

You shook the thought off. Introduced yourself to the woman. You smiled awkwardly. “Um. I’d offer you my hand but my, uh–” Personal hell “–Trap involved a hand thing so. I’m not a big fan of handshakes these days.” It had taken a long time for the nerves to repair themselves in your hand. A long time and a shitton of agony and medication and physical therapy. You still hadn’t totally gotten rid of the tremor. Fine motorskills were still harder than before.

Before. That.

But the woman just gave a rueful, understanding sort-of smile. Funny how people smiled so much in the presence of trauma and pain. “Amanda. I still have trouble going to the dentist sometimes.”

Shit, that’s where you knew her from, wasn’t it? You’d heard of her, read about her before, seen a clip of her punching a journalist square in the nose when she tried to follow her. All the photos you’d seen had been such shit quality that you hadn’t recognized her immediately.

Amanda Young. The person who killed a man and rummaged around his guts to free herself from the machine hooked into her jaws. The first person to walk away from a Jigsaw trap. The first survivor. In a weird, fucked up way, it was almost like meeting a celebrity. A celebrity for the most depressingly specific thing possible.

You weren’t sure whether it would make things weird to bring that up. So you just nodded. “So. What’re you doing here then? Are you waiting for someone?”

“Mm no, not really.” Amanda scraped at the chipped black polish on her nails. “I just like to come here sometimes.”

You stared at her. Something about her reminded you of a deer, twitchy and ready to bolt at the slightest sign of danger. Or maybe not a deer. Deer looked like they’d snap in half if the wind blew too hard. Amanda…. did not. She was twitchy, but for some reason you got the feeling that she was just as likely to start kicking as she was to start running

Permanently caught between fight or flight.

You went with freeze, yourself. Or wallow, as Brandon had put it. Anger and embarrassment burned against your ribs.

“Hell of a place to visit.” You weren’t sure if you meant it as a light-hearted joke or a deadpan remark. The words came out somewhere in between.

“You’re one to talk.” She finally turned to you. It was the first time she’d actually met your eyes, you realized. “You actually believe all this bullshit?” she asked, gesturing to the church.

“Not really,” you admitted. “My therapist wanted me to go. Said it would help me to be around others who understand what I went through. That it would help me get closure or something. I didn’t want to. But he insisted.” You shrugged. He’d pestered you about it until you finally gave in a few weeks ago. He thought it would be good for you. Would help you heal. Really, it just made you want to fling yourself out of one of the church’s fancy stained-glass windows.

Amanda gave a derisive snort. You almost took offense until she said, “Half of the time these therapists don’t even know what they’re talking about. It’s a bunch of bullshit, too.” She propped her cheek on her fist again, giving you a side-long grimace. “People don’t change until they have to. Or until they’re forced to. A bunch of psychoanalyzing isn’t going to do anything.”

You…. strongly disagreed. But the slim scar peeking out from her sleeve kept you from saying that. “Bad experience with a therapist?” you asked, flicking your gaze away.

“It never really worked for me.”

“What did?” you asked cautiously.

She paused. Thought about it. Stared at you with an intensity that had you wondering what the hell was going on inside her head. Until eventually, “Jigsaw.”

You blinked. Stared. Tried to figure out how to respond to that.

She thought…. Jigsaw helped?

You didn’t want to judge. Fuck, that was exactly why you’d stormed out of the church. You were self-aware enough to realize that. Different things worked for different people, and different people responded to trauma in different ways, but….

The church doors squealed open. You both shot to your feet and turned around. Your fellow Jigsaw Anonymous members were leaving, the meeting over, spilling out from the doors with all the speed and excitement of molasses being poured out from a jar. You stepped to the side to let them come down the stairs. Amanda did the same, arm brushing yours, and you wrestled the urge to jerk away. You weren’t sure of the last time you’d actually touched someone, or the last time someone had touched you, aside from the gentle but coldly professional hands of doctors and emergency personnel. It was as startlingly foreign as it was familiar.

Amanda seemed completely unaware of your clashing emotions as her gaze locked onto something. You followed her stare to Brandon slowly making his way down the steps. A man with sandy-blond hair and a cane was with him, chatting, the both of them completely oblivious to either of you.

Did she know them? She was staring at them with such an undecipherable intensity and it was the only explanation you could think of. You glanced at the two men again, then back at Amanda. No… she wasn’t staring at them. She was staring at the blond man specifically.

It really wasn’t any of your business, but you couldn’t help but ask, “Do you two know each other?”

“Sorta,” was as much of a response as you got.

Once Brandon and the man reached the bottom of the ramp and went separate ways, Amanda turned back to you. It was just the two of you on the stairs now. And it was a little embarrassing how flustered you were just by her proximity. For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know her.

Maybe your therapist was right. You did need to get out and be around people more. So you could remember how to fucking act normal again.

“Well.” Amanda bumped her arm against yours again. This time deliberately. You were pretty sure the facial expression you made was not a normal one. “See you round.”

Then she shoved her hands into the pockets of her cargo pants, hopped down the steps, and just. Walked away. You stared after her for longer than necessary.

She was impossible to get a read on. Weirdly confrontational, weirdly evasive, and weirdly magnetic anyway.

You kind of hoped you’d see her again.

She didn’t appear for the next few meetings you obligatorily dragged yourself to. It wasn’t until about a month later that you found her sitting out on the steps again. When you, again, had rushed out to clear your head when the room got too small.

“Hey stranger,” she said, tone somewhere close to teasing. It made you smile. Just a little.

“Hey,” you replied, approaching the stairs. And again, you gestured to the space beside her. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be my guest.”

And so you developed a bit of a routine. She appeared on the steps about once a month, for a reason she never shared and that you never really minded. You would sit on the stairs with her, and the two of you would shoot the breeze. It was a comfortable, casual companionship born from a common factor and convenience. It was never anything very deep. Neither of you were there for therapy, not really. You kept it light, casual. That was the point, wasn’t it?

At least until one day when Amanda was standing by the stairs before the meeting had even started. You didn’t bother to hide your surprise as you approached her and exchanged your usual heys.

“You coming in today?” you asked.

“No. I thought we could head somewhere else.” She tilted her head at you. There was a playfulness to her expression, her smile. A playfulness that made you both a little bit cautious and a little bit excited. “Somewhere a little more fun. Unless you want to stay here. For therapy.” She pointedly lifted her eyebrows at you as she said therapy.

You glanced at the church doors behind her. Really, talking to her about anything but the fact that you were both Jigsaw survivors had done a lot more for you than going to these stupid fucking meetings had.

“Only if you promise not to put me in a death game for smoking,” you joked. Or tried to, at least. It really wasn’t that funny. You winced at yourself. But Amanda, to her credit, just linked her arm through yours. You almost preened at the friendly touch.

“Deal,” she said.

She ended up taking you to a bar. A gay bar, more specifically. You were a bit surprised she’d clocked you so easily but never said a word – but then again, neither had you about her. So you supposed you couldn’t be too surprised.

From there, your casual companionship escalated into something much more like a genuine friendship. You got to know each other properly. You talked about your personal lives and hobbies and interests. You even talked a little bit about Jigsaw, and everything after that. You told her how you’d been struggling with insomnia and how you’d lost your job when you stopped showing up. Because of, y’know, being stuck in a deathtrap. And being too terrified to set foot outside your door for a while after. You told her about the new job you’d gotten and struggled to adjust to. And you told her about your hands.

Nails through the palms Jesus-style. Because according to the hoarse voice on the tape that now haunted your nightmares – “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. She’d winced as you told her the story one evening. You’d winced as you’d recollected it. The pain shooting through your fingertips, up your arms, into your very fucking bones. The squelch of blood and muscle, the way you hadn’t been able to stop from screaming or the tears from spilling as you twisted and ripped your hands free of the metal spikes.

It was a miracle they didn’t introduced any infections into your bloodstream, the doctors had told you. A miracle.

You told Amanda how your hands still shook, were still a bit weak. How some days they were worse and some days they were better. And how fine motor skills had become hard now, whereas before you’d taken them for granted. God, had you taken them for granted. You’d been able to write your name, use a knife and fork, all that shit, so damn easily.

It had taken a lot of getting used to.

Amanda has just listened and nodded her head. Understanding. Not offering the grating sympathy people so often flung your way, all the while looking uncomfortably unsure of what to do with your presence and your hands and your experience and your trauma. But Amanda understood. Because of course she did. She knew what you’d been through and where you were coming from.

And she’d even smiled a bit mischievously, glancing down at your hands on the bar counter, and said, “Well, if you ever need help with anything, I’m pretty good with my hands. I could always lend a finger or two.”

Maybe it was the little smirk on her face, the glint in her eye when she said it. Maybe it was the loneliness and then the sudden friendship. Or maybe you’d just been a little too buzzed, but her words had remained lodged in your mind as you tried to go to sleep that night.

Amanda had shared things about herself, too, in the time you’d spent together. It had taken a little longer for her to open up – she was a bit slower, a bit more cautious. She seemed a lot more eager to listen than to do the talking. And you couldn’t fault her for that. But eventually, you learned that she worked as a mechanic, knew a lot about fixing and building machines and shit like that. She had a pet guinea pig that she’d acquired entirely by accident. His name was Pigeon. Her favorite color was red, her favorite bands were Nine Inch Nails and Hole, and her favorite movie was The Princess Bride. Her dad was a piece of shit she hadn’t seen in over a decade, and her relationship with her mom was strained at best. She was an only child.

You’d also learned more about her Jigsaw trap. How she’d become a drug addict in prison, how she’d woken up in a Jigsaw trap for it. How the little puppet with swirls on its cheeks had rolled out of the darkness on a tricycle and told her that she’d survived. And how she’d ended up in a trap a second time, a hellish prison of a house with several other people, most of whom had died.

The news had nearly brought your drink back into your throat. Lighting did strike twice after all. He did pick the same victims more than once.

God, maybe you really did need to quit smoking.

Amanda had placed her hand on your arm. Touch gentle but grounding all the same. And she’d assured you that that wouldn’t happen to you, Jigsaw wouldn’t choose you again. He had no reason to. She said it so confidently, and you so desperately wanted to believe her. That you wouldn’t be taken a second time. Or that she wouldn’t be taken a third. Not that she seemed too concerned about it.

That was the strange thing about her. When she told you about what had happened, she stared down at the counter. Her hands shook a little bit. The memory terrified her.

And yet…. she had this fixation on the idea that Jigsaw had helped her. The trap had gotten her off drugs. It had put her on a completely different path in life. Rather than dying from a drug overdose, she’d gotten clean. He saved me, she’d said, eyes wide and earnest and afraid.

You’d fought against the urge to argue that, to say No, he didn’t save you, he almost killed you. The idea of Jigsaw possibly helping – all while you struggled to sleep and were plagued by nightmares as you did, while you struggled to make your handwriting legible, while you fought the urge to bolt back home as soon as the sun started lowering in the sky? The idea felt like swallowing glass.

Had Jigsaw ever made anyone do that?

But you didn’t say any of that to her. People dealt with trauma in different ways. You supposed this was just her way of dealing with it. And it wasn’t really hurting anyone, so who were you to judge?

It certainly didn’t stop you from going to the bar with her regularly. It didn’t stop you from laughing with her, from getting close to her both emotionally and physically till the edge of your seats were almost touching and your arms were practically interlinked.

It didn’t stop the spark of warmth in your chest when she offered a genuine smile. Or the electric feeling that shot through your veins when she traced her fingers over your knuckles one night, after the conversation had lulled and your drinks had gone lukewarm.

“I wanna try something,” she said, voice soft enough that you would’ve missed it had you not been sitting so close your thighs were pressed together.

Eye contact right now would’ve been like staring into the sun. So instead, you stared at her hand on top of yours. Her knuckles were scratched up as if she’d gotten into a fight. “Sure,” you said slowly. “What did you have in mind?”

Amanda turned to you. You cautiously met her gaze. Christ, it really was like looking at the sun. Warm and beautiful but intense. Burningly intense.

Confusion turned to shock as Amanda hooked two fingers into the neck of your shirt and tugged you closer till her lips were hitting yours. You must’ve made a noise of surprise, because she drew away almost immediately. It was all you could do not to chase her and ask why did you stop? A small crease appeared between her eyebrows and she opened her mouth. And God for a second you thought she was going to apologize, when in fact she really didn’t need to because holy shit.

“Oh thank fuck,” you blurted. “You were flirting with me.”

Concern turned to surprise. Then Amanda laughed, the sound pure relief. “Yeah, I was. Did it take you that long to figure it out?” she teased.

“Uh.” Your face warmed. “Maybe.”

She grinned, then grabbed you by the shirt and kissed you again. Gentle but insistent. Her other hand curled around your nape. You didn’t know what the hell to do with your own hands until one curled around her back and the other ended up braced against the bar counter.

The bar counter. Right. You were very much in public. Sure, it was a queer bar, but it was still public.

So you reluctantly pulled away. Amanda looked confused for a moment before you said, “Hey, maybe we should… do this somewhere else?”

She blinked at you. Then, wordlessly, she wrapped a hand around your wrist and pulled you off your seat. She dragged you past the other patrons and tables – it was a quieter night, so you didn’t have to fight through a sea of people – and pushed through one of the bathroom doors, yanking you in with her and locking the door behind you.

“There,” she said. There was a look to her eyes, a look that made your heart stumble and your entire body go warm. “We’re somewhere else.”

This time when she kissed you, you let her fully take the lead. You slid your arms around her and melted into the kiss, sighing against her. It just made her more eager. She prodded at your lips with her tongue, slipped inside with a sweet little moan that had your heart racing. Sent your head spinning. You backed up till you hit a wall, dragging Amanda with because fuck you weren’t breaking this kiss. Not as she was getting to know you with her teeth and her tongue. She tasted like alcohol and peaches, smelled of loam and sweat and faintly of men’s store-brand bodywash. It was heady, intoxicating. Addicting.

Her hands slipped under your shirt. You shuddered at the exposure to the overly air-conditioned bathroom. Shuddered harder at her warm touch roving across your skin, the slight drag of fingernails over your stomach. Amanda broke the kiss with a wet smack as your muscles tensed underneath her.

“You’re so cute,” she teased. She dragged her fingernails over your skin again with just a little more pressure. You arced into her touch. Fuck. Fuck.

You wished you could come up with some kind of response. Something to convey just how much you were aching for her, both emotionally and physically. How badly and how deeply these emotions were running through you. But words were currently beyond your grasp.

Amanda leaned in and nibbled at your neck as her fingers slid past your waistband and teased the edge of your underwear. You clamped your teeth down on your bottom lip. Heat swirled through your veins, in your stomach, at the base of your spine. You moved your hips a little, just a little, to urge her on. Nails dug into the soft flesh there. A whimper escaped.

“Mandyyyyyyy.”

“Yeahhhhhhh?” She was all mischief and smugness as she looked back up at you. It just made you more desperate.

“Mandy. Please?” You gave her your best pleading look.

“You’re so impatient.” She said the words lightly, playfully. But she must’ve been impatient too, because she was pushing your underwear down. When her fingers brushed against your clit, you gasped and dropped your head back against the wall. Fuck, God, yes, right there –

“You sure you only just figured out I was flirting with you? You seem pretty fucking wet already.” She punctuated her words with a slide of her fingers against you. Because yeah, you were fucking wet. It would’ve been a little humiliating if you weren’t so achingly desperate for her touch.

“Yeah, well.” You drew in an unsteady breath as she circled your clit. A teasing touch that wasn’t quite enough. Fuck, it was impossible to form a coherent thought. “You’re just…. really fucking hot.”

It was hardly eloquent. But her breath puffed against your neck in a laugh. And you figured it would do for now.

She kissed the hollow of your throat, firmly rubbed her thumb against your clit. You practically bucked against her. Her other hand hooked under one of your thighs and lifted, and you threw your leg around her waist. Let out a moan at how it changed the sensation. “Yeah, like that,” Amanda breathed. “Just like that.” She said it as if you were touching her, as if she wasn’t the one doing all the work, wasn’t the one making you writhe and whimper and leak over her precise fingers.

Christ, you hadn’t felt this good in a while.

The pace was languorous, exploratory, testing what made you shiver and dig your nails into her shoulders and gasp for breath. As if she was intent on taking you apart and finding out exactly what got you going – a machine to figure out and put back together. Slowly, slowly, but in a way you savored, you felt the tension inside of you building up and coiling tight like a spring. You were quivering. Your clothes clung to your sweat-sheened skin. The music spilling into the bathroom from the bar wasn’t quite enough to cover the ragged breathing and wet, rhythmic noises, and it just made the whole thing feel even dirtier. Especially with how Amanda was panting against you, as if she was getting off just from you getting off and fuck it made you clench.

When she picked up the pace, you weren’t able to stop the gasps and moans that spilled out of you, the way you panted and pleaded her name. The sound of her fingers squelching against you had you burning. And when your release hit you cried out, clenching, shaking, clinging to Amanda’s shoulders and digging your nails in as you rode out the high. She didn’t stop, didn’t relieve the pressure against your clit. White hot pleasure burned through your body till tears pricked at your eyes. Distantly, she said something. Soft, sweet words that didn’t quite reach your ears as they rang from the intensity of your orgasm.

She only stopped when you went limp against her. Only pulled away from the mess you’d made – that she’d made too, really – to wrap her arms around your hips and kiss you, deep and slow, as if trying to commit you to memory. You lazily brushed your tongue against hers. Your muscles felt like taffy, worn out in the best way.

“You were right,” you said when you parted. “You really are good with your hands.”

Amanda grinned so widely and genuinely that you couldn’t stop yourself from capturing her lips again. Fuck. You might’ve been a little bit in love. Or maybe that was the post-sex endorphins talking. You weren’t sure. You didn’t particularly care either way.

“I think I owe you an orgasm,” you said.

Amanda brushed her nose against yours. For the first time since you’d met her, she actually seemed truly, fully relaxed. As if she’d properly lowered her guard just now, just in this moment, just for you. “Maybe next date.” The words sent a flutter through your chest. Next date. There’d be a next date. “But first,” she said, moving away to grab some paper towels, “we gotta get you cleaned up.”

[mikedfaist]

Girlie, it's the same anonymous from the other two times, here for more:

Can I have more with Baby John and Riff? But something with, like, angst. Like, the reader gets hurt or scared or something.

Thankssssss

I don’t think you understand how much I love seeing you show up in my inbox. You never disappoint. So, I started writing this earlier today, but I scrapped it because I wasn’t sure if it was something I wanted to post, at least not yet. I know I mentioned in the first Boyfriend!Riff Headcanon that something happens with you involving a rival gang – whether that be an attack or assault – and I was like, this is perfect, I should write that, but then I started to doubt posting it, and I tried to write something else but my brain is the size of a peanut and not feeling very creative today…so we are doing it, but I’m going to keep it a little vague.

Riff always makes sure he, or one of the boys, walks you home if you get off work late, but one night there is miscommunication, and none of the boys are waiting for you at the storefront. You hesitate at first, but you think how it’s only four blocks back to your apartment; there’s not much you can do about it now.

But a couple members from a rival gang who has seen you and Riff around before, spots you leave and takes notice in how you’re alone. They confront you, and you try to politely dismiss the situation, but things go wrong. You are hurt, and they leave you there. The only person you need now is Riff, and he lives a little further away, but not by much, so pick yourself up and leave.

When you arrive, Baby John, Diesel and Action are outside smoking, and are quick to spot you. It’s really not hard not to; you’re barefoot, holding your shoes in your hand as one of the heels were broken.

Action is by your side immediately, and Diesel is calling out to Baby John to go upstairs and get Riff. He can’t move though; he’s standing on the stoop, watching in horror as you’re being assessed. He is having a hard time seeing you this way; it’s like his brain can’t make sense of it. He is literally frozen.

Diesel helps you upstairs, with Baby John trailing behind holding your shoes. Action is the first inside, calling out for Riff. He’s sat at the table rolling cigarettes with Mouthpiece and Ice. When he looks up, he sees you at the door with Diesel and Baby John.

“What the fuck happened? Where is Snowboy?” Riff is out of his seat and beelines to you. “He was supposed to fucking walk her home—where is he?”

“She was alone—I don’t know.” Diesel sputters out.

Riff places his hand on your cheek, but you flinch away. Baby John has to step away; he moves to sit on the couch, facing away as the boys’ voices begin to rise. Riff is yelling. Action is demanding for the gun. Mouthpiece moves to grab the baseball bat in the corner.

“Baby, hey,” Riff whispers, “Was Snowboy not there?” You shake your head. “Nobody was there?” You shake again. He nods and turns to face the group. “One of you go find him. This is on him.” His voice is strained, and when he turns back to face you, you’re staring past him depleted of emotion. “Did you see who did this?” You nod.

You whisper the gang, low enough for only him to hear, and he feels the blood drain from his face.

“Let’s clean you up.”

He ushers you into the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and it’s there that you finally let yourself give in. The shock finally wears off, the adrenaline is gone, and all of the fear is rushing through you like a dam breaking. You reach out for him and he pulls you into his chest.

“We’re going to find them, alright? It will be taken care of, okay?” You know what he means without saying it. “We hurt one of them and they had to get us back—I’m so fucking sorry.” His voice breaks, and he tries to swallow back his tears. “You weren’t supposed to be alone—I’m so fucking sorry.”

There’s a knock at the door, and when Riff cracks it open, Action is standing there holding the gun out to him.

“We doing this?”

Riff nods and turns back to you. “We’re going to take care of this. I love you.”

Baby John stays behind to help clean you up; not like any of them would even dare leave you alone after what happened. I can imagine the two of you sitting on the bathroom floor as he takes a wet rag and wipes off any blood, and helps bandage our wounds. The two of you don’t really talk in this moment; he doesn’t even know what to say.

Once you’re bandaged up, you go to Riff’s room where you change into his clothes, and go to bed, where two hours later the boys finally return.

[cloveroctobers]

SHOW YOU WHY — EVAN “BUCK” BUCKLEY x READER x 118: [Spring Prompts]

A/N: I’m excited to see what the rest of season 7 brings us! This piece can fit for both Buck (since there’s some hints of a crush between reader + Buck—if you squint!) and the rest of the 118. I’m just thrilled to see them all back on screen so I wanted to include everyone in this.

WARNINGS: gave the gender-neutral reader some background & mentions of a tough upbringing + use of curse words!!!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE & I’m using: 3. “Welcome to ~allergies~” + 20. “IT’S SPRINGTIME MUTHA-FUCKERS.”

<- read my previous flop of a spring prompt here.

𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼

Anywhere but here you wanted to be.

You could have gotten out of this too, just like the mayor’s ball back in December but you personally didn’t want to receive an ear-full of a voicemail from your aunt yet again. So you dealt with it (being here on time-except you actually weren’t in your aunt’s eyes) putting in the work to also give “orders” rather than instructions to the workers while she had other hired workers tend to her full attire.

She won a honorary award just last month so she planned on parading that around her birthday party. It wasn’t the smartest move having it right at the entry way of the home, sitting on the center piece of a circular oak table that her great-grandfather built, with party goers but since the spring weather decided to stick in California, your aunt was more than willing to have this gathering out back but not without having most of her guests walk through the front doors first.

The main reason to have this party was for the attendees to constantly compliment the view of the vineyard out back. You already knew your aunt’s (by marriage) game, having the honor of being raised by her from the time you were thirteen. You just wished you could close your eyes, squeeze them really tight to the point that they hurt, and this would be over.

Thankfully an hour into the party, your uncle shows up, rushing in from his work trip out in Finland—don’t ask—brushing his lips against your hairline and giving you a tight side hug before he’s whisked off by his high energy wife of twenty years. That gave you enough time to sneak away from the boring and prying conversations, the set up of trying to date one of the attendees, and hide for a little bit before your cover was blown and you were thrown back into the party of socializing.

Another forty-five minutes pass and you’re getting a text that has you jumping to your feet, swaying a bit before you excuse yourself back into the mediterranean home to greet the guests you’ve been waiting for.

Yanking the door open you yell, “IT’s SPRING TIME MUTHA-FUCKERS! Welcome to my family’s place and I’m so glad you guys could make it.”

Chimney smirks around the chewing of his gum, “can’t say I’ve been greeted like that ever but I’m not complaining! as long as I get to have whatever it is you’ve had.”

You tilt your head to the side at the spikey haired man, “Chim! How many times do I have to tell ya? I’m not a drinker…I’m just spreading all things…spring?”

“I can tell with that outfit.”

A elbow goes to his gut from Maddie while Hen scoffs with a shake of her head at her best friend, who’s now rubbing his torso.

You’re waving the group all in, hugging Athena as she says, “your family has a mighty big house.”

“Yeah, I was just about to say what did they do again?” Eddie is next in embracing you after almost doing a full spin in the entry way, staring up at the high ceilings.

Buck is last to pull you into a hug, lightly rocking you both from side to side while you hold his back, “Can’t believe you grew up here.”

You shrug, “It’s just a house of an Architect and a mayor.”

“You must have had crazy parties here,” Buck is grinning wildly while Eddie is rolling his eyes at him.

“Of course Evan would be the one to think about the parties,” Maddie stares over at her younger brother who’s shameless about his daydreams of what that may have looked like.

You lifted your shoulders, “anyways! Make yourselves comfy but stay away from the Rueger’s—they’re swingers and may try to encourage you into joining their underground society club. A good portion of the people here are uppity but there’s a sprinkle of good ones that you won’t want to kick up the ass.”

“Oh! Say no more, I know exactly who I’m talking to.” Athena shoots a look to Bobby who’s pleading with his eyes to his wife, to just enjoy the party and not interrogate but Athena wouldn’t be Athena if she didn’t go investigate.

Bobby squeezes your shoulder on his way by but keeps his eyes on Athena’s retreating form, “Its good to see you and thanks for the invitation. I’m going to do my best and make sure things don’t erupt into chaos.”

You nod your head, expecting this but let out a sigh although there’s a smile on your lips. Hen takes a step closer to you as you’re now humming, swaying your hands about as if they were floating on water. “Uh, you sure you’re alright? You seem…a little off?”

“What do you mean?” You question, hands moving to float above Hen’s shoulders, almost as if you’re not aware you’re doing this.

This gains the other’s attention as the low haired woman peeks from left to right while you’re making a wave with your hands. “Stop that and hold still.”

“Why? The air never does.”

Which earns a chuckle from Chimney while Hen grips your shoulders, scanning your face and finally focuses on the end of your brow to the lid of your eye.

“Hen, what’s up?” Buck quizzes, eyes steady on you two.

Hen shushes him while she keeps her eyes on you, “how many fingers am I holding up?”

You blink then smile, “two caterpillars,” you speak so matter of factly, ready to spin away from the conversation but Hen is pulling you back by the shoulders.

“Hen—

Chimney tries this time and Maddie is furrowing her brows also confused.

“I think they’re having an allergic reaction.” Hen concludes before directing the rest of her words to you, “your eye area is swelling up and if you didn’t take anything, I’d say you’re also a little disoriented? Maybe even experiencing some brain fog?”

You shrug, “must have been the sea bass or was it trout? that Eitan guy tried to share with me. Whatever, let’s have some fun now that my friends are here.”

You’re dancing now, although it feels like your brain is spinning in slow-motion, yet the outside music is pretty faint.

Buck has his eyes in slits, “who the hell is Eitan?”

“And why was he feeding you?” Eddie added, he didn’t hear any updates about your dating life either and he was sure if it was true, Buck would have been the first to tell him instead.

Maddie stares at the two ridiculous men, “they didn’t say the guy was feeding them.”

Chimney leans towards Hen as her face still holds concern, fingertips lightly pressing on the lymph nodes in your neck which you laugh at the sensation, “Want me to search the house to see what I can find? You don’t think they’re going to stop breathing any time soon do you?”

The way Buck and Eddie snap their attention to the dark haired man’s words; burning their eyes into his frame, makes Chimney realize that it doesn’t hurt to turn down his bluntness some but Hen thinks nothing of it.

“How!” Maddie hisses his name from behind, while Chim holds his hands up to show he has no ill-intent, you were his friend too.

Hen starts, “I don’t think they consumed enough to get to that point but—

“Hey, aren’t you allergic to all things seafood anyway? Why would that jackass give that to you?” Buck interrupts with a cross of his arms, becoming irritated.

Eddie also states, “and why would your tío and tía have that here? Surely they know your health history.”

Maddie also can’t help but to ask in a much more compassionate approach, “How exactly did this happen?”

“I got caught up in the love story Eitan’s ninety year old grandmother was telling me on the right about the love letters she received from her husband in the navy. Eitan’s calling my name from the left to try this and next thing I know, I’m eating fish.” You notify, hoping that answered this test.

Buck scrunches up his nose, “who does this guy think he is? Just spoon feeding you without even knowing your likes, dislikes, and what you can’t have!”

Eddie asserts in agreement as Buck begins to pace now, “I’m sorry but your relatives screwed up.”

“The Tramp too.” Chimney jokes.

You tilt your head to the side while Hen glares and Maddie raises her eyebrows, wanting the man to expand on that.

“Hello! Lady and the tramp anyone? This Eitan guy is obviously the tramp—not your aunt.” Chimney sheepishly smiles, “whew, tough crowd!”

Hen is back to massaging your neck in search of any inflammation while you rant, “Well as auntie Katrina says: you can’t please everyone and sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get to the top. She probably just forgot with all the things on her mind? she was the main one trying to push a love connection between Eitan and I. Also you guys should have seen her earlier. She was all over the place and had to have me take over.” You pull away, coughing into your sleeve, struggling a bit to clear your throat.

The five glance at each other.

You were part of the 118, first somewhat reserved and a little shy rather than closed off but similar to Bobby in a sense when you first joined. It took time to get you to open up, even to Buck who was friendly with everyone. You transferred to the station six months after Buck so he had no issue taking you underneath his wing even if you were complete opposites. It was safe to say that majority of the crew didn’t care for your aunt, simply from the way she spoke to you, and hearing how you tried to sweep the way she treated you growing up away. It was evident verbal abuse but you felt like you owed her something since she stepped in as a mother figure to raise you after the tragedy of losing your own mother.

Part of you knew you shouldn’t feel guilty and that she was the adult who married your biological uncle who was always away—working and that it should have been a given. However when people make you feel like they’re doing you a favor instead of simply caring about you, you just may start to question everything.

Unfortunately, you were the second guesser because of that but not when it came to the field. You became a different person out on the job, quickly thinking and analyzing everything before sprinting into action and that was something the 118 admired.

Maddie and Eddie both share a nod before she speaks, “okay…Eddie and I are going to have a chat with this Eitan guy.”

Buck approved of that although he wouldn’t have minded having a word with Eitan himself, especially if they were all thinking the same thing. Once his eyes flicked back to you after the pair left the room, he noticed the change in your skin gradually and that didn’t sit well with him. So yeah, maybe it was best he stayed behind.

Hen asks you, “Do you have your EpiPen?”

You’re zoning out a bit, eyes disconnecting some but you’re nodding your head as if you’re listening.

So Hen took that as a negative.

“Chim, check the bathrooms for Prednisone or any type of corticosteroid? Even Peppermint oil. If not, try the kitchen for pineapple or even ice just in case.” Hen informs while Chim dips his head before heading off.

Hen smiles as she gently guides you to the stairs which are to the right of the front door, “here, let’s have you sit.”

“But I want to dance!”

“We can do that later,” Buck expresses while following you two, “we just want to make sure you’re okay first and that there’s no funny business going on here.”

Pressing your cheek into your balled up fist you say, “fine…I’ll tell you guys what going on. I’ll come clean.”

Hen and Buck meet each other’s eyes before they peer down at you. Sitting up straight, you exhale and begin to flap your arms like wings, “welcome to…allergies.”

Buck honestly found this a little cute although he didn’t appreciate the increase in size of your brow and eye now but at least you were in good spirits. Even if it seemed like the rest of the 118 were speculating something much more than a simple case of allergies.

“I’m going to move things further along and find the kitchen. Buck, Call out to me if anything changes.” Hen decides before making her exit.

He calls out to her, “You got it.” Then he’s turning back to stand in front of you while you beam up at him, “what’s going on in that field full of daisies of a mind of yours?”

“It’s actually Lillie’s but,” you clear the scratch of your throat again, “I don’t know, I felt kinda anxious being back here but knew I would be okay once you were the first to agree on showing up.”

Buck furrows his brow at the last bit of the sentence, “did you think I wouldn’t?”

“Well…you’ve been busy with Natalia.” You’re blinking your inflamed eye to see if it was tingly or sticky, “Didn’t want to intrude on your quality time.”

“You wouldn’t be, you’re actually one of my best friends and it’s always cool for us to hang out whenever,” Buck replies, “by the way that relationship is over with…and you’ve got that same look on your face as Eddie.”

You actually imagined yourself to look like that one Ryan Gosling gif but only because you were the last to know.

You breathe out a laugh afterwards, “Sheesh! I’m not going to say finally or I told you so because she was super pretty and helped you pick out a couch which was nice and…are you okay?”

Buck chuckles at your mind still wandering all over the place in conversations, “the couch and I are just fine! Thanks for asking.”

You hum, resting your head against the wall.

“So what’s this Eitan guy like?” Buck suddenly probes.

You blink, “think: tall dark and handsome.”

Buck blurts out with a furrow of his brows, “Sasquatch?”

“…if that’s what you’re into.” Laughter bubbles in your voice at the expression on Buck’s face now.

He holds his hands out, “I’m not even going to entertain that.”

“Aw but it’ll be fun.”

Buck plops down beside you, almost taking up a good portion of the uncomfortable steps. He brushes his shoulder against yours and you meet each other’s gaze.

“I’ve missed you, you know?”

Those words right there almost wiped all weird feelings you were having before and after you ate that food. You were never one to think that anyone noticed if you were around or not so hearing Buck say this to you, made you feel warm inside—better even. Somewhat.

“You taking off for a while made sense,” Buck starts with an exhale, “but I didn’t think that time away included spending it with your aunt Kat.”

Buck didn’t hide his dislike of the older woman but out of the respect he had for you, he kept his feelings to himself yet that didn’t mean he didn’t go off about her to Eddie or Maddie when she clearly upset you.

“…Majority of it didn’t.” You answer.

“Where did you go?”

You pointed as if you were mapping it out in the air, “Chicago, then Texas, and back here.”

“…Do I need to know how that was?” he’s pressing his elbows into his knees, getting comfortable right beside you.

He’s told you all about his adventures across the globe, mostly unwarranted but you didn’t mind. You had a sheltered life while your aunt and uncle went all over to see the world thanks to their professions, so you didn’t get out much until you decided to head to the first state you had the deepest connection to. Where your late mother and uncle were born and raised and ultimately where your mother’s life ended.

“All you need to know is that it brought me back home, to the rest of you.”

“Can’t say I don’t like the sound of that.”

You loop an arm with Buck’s and rest your head on his shoulder, “look at us sitting here being nice to each other with our matching marks.”

“I’m always nice and I think mine is cooler.” He says referring to his own strawberry birthmark.

You nuzzle your face against his navy sweater, “You stating your claim on yours being better really defeats the purpose of you being nice.”

“Well, I mean no harm buuut yours is temporary and reminds me of hippo skin.” He’s leaning away, eyes lowered to get a good look at your face up close.

“…Now I see why you and Natalia broke up.”

If chimney was back, you were sure he’d give you some points for roasting Buck back.

“Ouch.” Buck laughs, resting his cheek against your head.

You echo his laugh, “sorry.”

“Don’t be. I can take a joke and Isn’t this season supposed to be about new beginnings or growth or whatever?” Buck was always interested to see the layers of you.

You gasp, “I thought it was the season of allergies.”

Evan hums, “Is that the story you’re sticking with?”

Before you could reply to that Eddie cuts in, “the story actually checks out…you did in fact ingest some sea bass from the nerdy but surprising good looking Eitan. The fish was a little on the salty side so I see why you only had a small piece.”

“A small piece that was enough to have their face looking like hippo skin!” Buck held his hand out underneath your chin to showcase.

Eddie scrunched up his face after taking a look at yours while you slapped the dark blond on his chest, “why would you choose to compare their allergic reaction to that of all things?”

“Why would you give your critiques of a dish you probably don’t even know how to cook?” Buck fired back.

Before they started to bicker, Maddie claps her hands to silence the two men-children and then turns to you with a soft smile, “Eitan also wanted to come over here and apologize but I told him it would best to just wait it out for awhile.”

“Thanks Maddie.” You smile back at the brunette, preferring to be around your friends instead.

“That’s the smartest thing he’s done today.” Buck huffs while Maddie sends him a warning look, to basically knock it off.

Eventually Hen and Chim make their way back but only Hen has items in her hands.

Chim holds his hands out as he exasperates, “you would think people who have a house filled with eight bathrooms would have basic medicine in their cabinets…it’s odd that the only thing I could find was Omeprazole. And Not even a damn Advil!”

“Okay let’s not turn this into the ID channel guys, I’m alive and well—

“Well…” almost everyone chorus’ in making you equally send them an incredulous look.

Hen is the one to not have chimed in but chooses to squats in front of you, “Eat this and keep this pressed to your face for at least five to seven minutes.”

“Thank you, Hen.”

“No problem,” she smiles before standing up and looking at the rest, “now go mingle everyone instead of being up in their face, I’m sure they’ll be in good hands with Buck—maybe.”

“Hey!”

Hen winks at him before she walks off with Maddie and Chimney who starts talking about the appetizers he noticed by the patio door.

“Marisol’s calling,” Eddie looks down at his phone, “I trust that I can leave two alone for a few minutes.”

Buck shrugs nonchalantly, “That depends—

“Of course you can.” You side eye the man beside you underneath the ice pack.

Eddie snickers before disappearing behind the sliding doors to a room across from the stairs.

Buck’s breathing beside you makes you more calm until he deeply exhales, clearing his throat while you chew on a pineapple as he turns his body to you.

“So why come back?” His island water eyes holds your stare, lightly pushing since you still had time to get the inflammation to go down.

So what better way to wait it out by talking?

Swallowing the fruit you boldly respond, “you would think I took a year off instead of two weeks but…I’d miss you too much. Is that a good enough answer for you Buckley?”

Evan grins as he bumps his shoulder with yours again, “yeah it is! I just wanted to hear you say it.”

You noticed the change of tone in his voice beside you and fought the urge to shudder at it. So you scoff and push yourself off the steps, plate of pineapple long forgotten as you balanced yourself upright while Buck’s got his hands out to catch you if you fall.

The feeling was always mutual, lifting each other up and going through the motions together as a team.

“Since you’re so full of yourself, let’s battle it out on the dance floor.”

Buck frowns as he glances down at his wrist, “I think you still have another three minutes and thirty-nine seconds left to go…and they’re playing jazz.”

“What’s wrong with that? Would you rather hear The White Stripes or Backstreet Boys…I could make a request if you like?” You teased while Buck pushes himself to his feet.

He blows out a breath, “I tell you one time that Maddie and I had a jam session to that boy band on my sixteenth birthday road-trip to cheer me up and you won’t let it go.”

“I’m not shaming you.” You raise a hand in surrender, “I’m no hater and the band had hits. I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me—it’s all good.”

Buck rolls his head around, “you’re so clever and you don’t have to worry about that so! Let’s just start off with you finishing the rest of those pineapples and I’ll try one of those appetizers before you show me some moves but I don’t think they have anything on mine.”

“Please! I’ll be very shocked to see you do more than a two-step since you also hate karaoke.”

“I don’t hate it.” Buck picks up the plate for you, “I just prefer not to see my sister and Chimney eat their microphones singing while staring into each others eyes.”

“They’re in love Buck, leave them alone!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy they found each other. I am their number one fan but that’s still my sister and I don’t need to see more than needed on their love life.” He shudders.

You hook your arm with Buck’s as you begin to walk through the home towards the kitchen, “yeah I guess I get that, yet there’s something so special about seeing people in love! It always shows me why there’s still the urge to keep going, just like us running into fires. Not to just simply put it out but to have a sense of unity when that’s not always common.”

Buck is intently listening and whole heartedly agrees as the both of you settle into the kitchen. He enjoys having conversations with you and you enjoy keeping him company, although he came all this way for you.

Showing up for each other was never foreign but it was times like these, swollen eyed and slightly loopy while the game of politics were being played out in the vineyard, wide grins and random conversations were held inside between the two of you—later joined by the rest of the team—showed that you were surrounded by exactly who you needed to be with.

𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼ 𓇼☾☼𓇼☾☼

Continue with my spring anthology prompts here.

[suckerforcate]

Misjudgement

Pairing: Liandrin Sedai x fem!Reader

Word Count: 4496

Warning: some angst, fighting and blood, death and injuries

Summary: Laindrin and You are on a mission with some sisters and meet white cloaks. Liandrin gets hurt and you go rogue. Why, though? The two of you never seem to get along.

A/n: Request by @midnight-lestrange

Alright, this took me long enough but it's finished at last. Hope you like it!!! Could write a part two if anyone's interested in that. Would love a comment, like or repost!!!

■----------------------------------------■

Walking through the corridor, you didn't really pay attention to your sisters around you or novices that bowed to you. You were tired, and it had been a long day, so you were eager to get to bed. But you should have considered that Liandrin would never let you get away with the events of the day.

You heard footsteps coming towards you and halt in front of you. It was Liandrin, and she had a smug smile on her face. You rolled your eyes, completely aware of what was about to happen.

"I see you're back from the mission, sister. I'm surprised you all came back." Your eyes darted up, and you looked at her surprised. Raising an eyebrow you set to answer.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, Liandrin." She chuckled and stepped a little closer. The chuckle was bitter, a little arrogant even. "We did our job and gentled the man. Just like we were supposed to."

"You did, after all nearly dying. You underestimated his power and he overwhelmed you. You are too soft with the men." She said, voice icy and head held high, proud. Completely convinced that her way was the only right way.

"I don't share your deep hatred for men, Sister." I calmly responded. "I believe we are mainly there to save them from their own power, it is not their fault they can channel."

"But it's their fault, that they misuse it and besmirch it." She spit the word out, you didn't fully know but were sure she had had bad experiences with men in her life. In a way you couldn't even be mad at her for her attitude.

But it was a fact, the two of you had joined the Red Ajah for utterly different reasons. And hers was much more common with your red sisters. They were filled with hatred towards men and all they wanted was to get rid of them, if they had it their way they'd simply kill them all. You on the other hand had seen a man in your family, someone you loved dearly fall into madness because of the ability to channel. He had distanced himself from everyone, afraid to kill the ones he loved. And you hadn't been able to help. So you had joined the Red Ajah to help men like him. To gentle them before they fell into madness, before it ate them up alive. Though the men weren't always as thankful as you would have liked them to be, you believed in what you did.

"Some men do that, yes. Not all." You stayed calm, you always did. A trait many sisters admired in you, when talking to Liandrin. "Still I don't believe it is right to kill them, as you no doubt would have suggested." You looked at her expectantly. But she simply scoffed and rushed past you. A soft smile formed on your lips as you looked at her over your shoulder and stood in the corridor for a moment. She was a curious woman, hard to read, hard to understand. You chuckled to yourself and set off for your room again.

A good nights sleep would patch you up just fine and tomorrow you would go to the sitter of the red Ajah and report about the mission. So you did just that, but instead of simply reporting back to the sitter, you were sent on a new mission.

"Please, sister. I've just come back yesterday. Sent someone else, I have tasks in the tower." you pleaded, but the red sitter simply shook her head softly. It was infuriating. Not that she sent you, but that she sent Liandrin as well. Everyone knew that the two of you couldn't stay close to each other without fighting.

"You are one of the best Aes Sedai of our Ajah, Sister. We have reports from the East of a group of men, all channelling. It is necessary to sent multiple sisters, multiple powerful sisters." She remained calm, and you saw the reason behind her words. She was right of course.

"I know, and I understand that. But Liandrin? Please!" Your voice took on a pleading tone. This was going to be a disaster. Your sister straightened up and her features lost a little of its patience.

"Enough. You'll both go and that's it. We need you on this mission, both." Her voice left no room for arguments. For her the conversation was over. You raised an eyebrow, curtly nodded and left the room. A few steps down the corridor you leaned against the wall and took a deep breath in. This was going to be an absolute catastrophe.

Your eyes were closed, and you just opened them as footsteps came closer. You looked down the corridor and saw Liandrin proudly walking to the sitters room. You chuckled softly. She looked arrogant, proud because she no doubt knew she was going on a mission. But she looked beautiful. You felt the desire to make her laugh, guessing that just that would probably make the whole tower shine brighter. Make your world a little brighter.

"Something the matter?" She snapped as she noticed your dreamy stare directed onto her. She really had to ruin every nice moment, didn't she? You sighed and pushed yourself off the wall. Liandrin had stopped just in front of the door, just short of entering.

Just two days later you stood in the stables, things packed, horse saddled and all sisters ready. The only one missing was Liandrin. You looked around, at the other two sisters, raising an eyebrow quizzically. They simply shrugged and shook their head.

"Don't be too happy, we're together on this mission." You calmly said and didn't even wait to see her reaction. You could easily predict it. And if you had looked you would have seen that your prediction had been absolutely accurate. She looked surprised, then outraged and huffed, annoyed that you just left. But, for just a tiny moment, there was a slight smile on her lips. Though she wiped that off immediately and opened the door. You were already gone.

Annoyed you tied the reins of your horse to the stable door and stomped out of the wooden shed. It had been agreed that you would meet in the stables at this exact time. Where the hell was she? You made your way through the tower quickly and up to her room. The knock was unusually hard for you and was immediately answered by Liandrin.

She was casually clothed, had her hair in a few braids and looked at you innocently. You felt like you were about to explode.

"Why in the lights name aren't you down with the others?" You hissed, and she smirked slightly before she turned around and walked back into her room. The door standing open, an invitation for you to come in.

"I'm not coming." Her tone was flat, calm and yet you heard a little bit of satisfaction in it. You took a deep breath to calm down and not immediately slap the smirk off of her face.

"What do you mean?" She chuckled and looked back at you. Her arms were crossed, and her face conveyed pure arrogance.

"I'm not coming. I will most certainly not go on this mission with you. You are incompetent and will probably endanger us all." You sighed angrily. Rushing past her, you grabbed her backpack and opened it.

"You will come. Not coming endangers us. You are powerful and we need that. As much as I'd like for you to stay away. So grow up and get over your stupid grudge." You spoke heatedly, while you ran through her room, randomly opening drawers and pulling out clothes that looked practical and useful. Liandrin's eyes were widened and followed you through the room. She was surprised by your boldness. Surprised by your bluntness and honesty.

It would take you some time to get to the men that had been reported on. It was at least a seven days ride, without complications. But there were always complications. Always. Not once in all your time as an Aes Sedai had you just been able to ride somewhere, do your job and go back.

"Here." You said as you pushed the packed backpack into her arms and sharply turned around to go back to the stables. Liandrin looked down at the backpack and back at the spot where you were no longer standing. She rolled her eyes but chuckled softly. Quickly she followed you, luckily another sister had already saddled her horse. You were ready to leave.

Sometimes the complications were minor and sometimes, like today, they were a massive fucking problem. Admittedly you were easy to identify as Aes Sedai. Even if you had taken off your rings. Four women, all clothed in red, obviously wealthy. What else would you be?

In certain situations it's good to be recognised as Aes Sedai immediately. It helped to be respected. It certainly wasn't convenient when multiple white cloaks were crossing your path.

It was no secret that Liandrin and you were by far the most powerful, not just of your group, but of all the Reds. So, instinctively the two of you stepped in front of the other, trying to slightly shield them with your horses. A laugh, cold and piercing, empty of any actually humour rang out between the trees.

"Do you really think you can protect your Sisters?" The voice said with cold amusement. A man stepped out of the group, his eyes made you shiver. With a look of pure hatred towards you. A chain dangled from his belt, you could see at least eight serpent rings, in all colours. Mainly blues, but some yellows, a green and a red one were there as well. Trying to remain calm you shot Liandrin a look, seeing the same kinds of emotions in her eyes. Slight panic, that was slowly turning into massive panic. Though she was much better at hiding it than you. She lifted her chin again, preserving the look of arrogance and confidence. It looked extremely believable.

"Don't make a mistake that might cost you your life." Liandrin spoke, sharp and icy as usual. The white cloaks just seemed to see that as a challenge they were willing to take.

"The two at the front are obviously the strongest, tame them. But keep them alive for now. Kill the others." The white cloak sharply ordered the other men and turned around to go back to his horse. Before you could even move they were between your horses. Your two sisters had lost they're hands before they could start channelling. They're screams shattered your soul, and you acted fast, throwing one of the men against the nearest tree, golden weaves glowing around him. In mere second you were off your horse and slowly approached the man, still floating in the air.

"You bastard." You spit out and pulled the weaves a little tighter around his chest and throat, strangling him. Though you let him abruptly fall to the ground as you heard a scream. A very familiar scream. You shot around, your two sisters were dead on the ground, hands cut off but rings already removed. Frantically your eyes searched through the trees and blood for Liandrin.

A glimpse of honey blonde hair caught your attention. Another scream. You started running towards her and saw her kneeling on the forest ground, clothes dirty and ripped slightly. She had a stab wound just below the rips and a sharp cut on her cheek. In a swift motion you threw the man standing next to her through the forest and heard him hit a tree somewhere. You didn't care, you didn't even look after him. You felt someone kick his knee into your back and your knees gave out, you fell to the ground as well. Your hands were being tied behind your back, and you couldn't even concentrate on the one power enough to use it as you saw the white cloak with the rings on his belt harshly grab Liandrin's face and force her to look at him.

"Try to channel, and I'll cut your hands off." He nearly spit into her face and Liandrin tried to get herself out of his grip. He pulled a dagger out of his belt and held it to her throat, pushing it into the flesh slightly.

"You dirty women, think the power is just for you. You think you're so much better than the rest of us." You just knew Liandrin would say something stupid.

"We are." She pressed out. The man immediately pushed the dagger into her flesh more, drawing a little bit of blood.

"Leave her alone." You shouted, you were aware that it sounded more desperate and panicked than strong and demanding. But you didn't care. The man slowly turned to look at you, his dirty fingers were still on Liandrin's face. You tried to loosen the rope around your hands and channel, but you felt a sudden kick into your stomach that took your breath away for a moment. You could have sworn Liandrin had a hint of panic in her eyes at that.

"Leave her, please." This time it just sounded pathetic. Nothing more. It had no edge, no sharpness or demanding tone. It was strangled and desperate. The man chuckled slightly.

"No, I won't." He said and took one of Liandrin's hands, his dirty fingers caressing her knuckles for a moment. As she wanted to pull her hand away he grabbed her wrist so hard, a whine escaped her. He turned around to one of the other men who had cut of the hands of your other sisters.

You were still breathless and desperate, but you felt anger and immediate panic inside of you. You didn't even have to concentrate on the one power, it was like it just flowed out of you. Like the anger and the panic enabled it and took over control for you. You didn't even take notice of it until the power flowed out of you, lighting up the forest and sending shock waves through the ground. You pull your hands apart and rip the rope that had tied them together. The wrists hurt, like the rope had sharply cut into the flesh. But you don't even feel the pain, you simply pull your hands to the front and concentrate on the men.

"I said, leave her." You pressed out, a little stronger this time. Sharper and icy. A tone of voice you had learned solely from Liandrin. On weak knees you stood up, all the men around you too dumbfounded to act. You stepped between the man and Liandrin and threw the men that were left on their feet through the forest. Almost immediately you felt all the strength leave you, and you collapsed, falling to your knees. Liandrin's touch on your arm was softer than anything you thought she was able to muster.

"We have to leave." She said, her voice weakly in your ear, like it was coming from behind a door about a mile away. Adrenaline was the only thing leading your body right now. Shakily you stood up, and somehow you managed to get onto a horse, sitting in front of Liandrin, her arm wrapped around your middle, the reins in one hand. Suddenly a sharp wind hit your face and the world seemed to rush past you. Like a faint memory in the back of your mind you thought about your two sisters. The ones you were leaving behind. But you weren't strong enough to even say something. It felt like you were riding for hours, though you weren't sure how accurate your sense of time was right now.

At some point Liandrin stopped and let go of you, you weren't as weak anymore. Apart from the weakness of using so much of the power you hadn't really been that hurt. A few scratches and some nasty bruises from the kicks. Nothing more. You heard a sharp intake of breath behind you and slightly turned around.

Liandrin had her hand pressed against her side, the robe she was wearing was soaked in blood, and it seeped through her fingers. She looked unbelievably pale.

"Liandrin." You said shocked and immediately got off of the horse. You helped her off the horses as well and let her down on the ground gently. You took her hand away from the wound and opened her robe to push it to the side, carefully shoving her shirt up to reveal her waist and the wound.

"In light's name." You cursed and tried to concentrate on channelling. You were much stronger than before, but still weak and worn out. It felt like the power wouldn't really form to anything proper, you felt like a novice again. Tears sprung to your eyes.

You shook your hands, like that would help. You felt your chest tighten again, the inevitable feeling of panic rising again. She was bleeding, too much. She would bleed out.

"Shit, fuck." You cursed, voice a little shaky. Your palms were sweaty, and you rubbed them dry on your trousers, shaking them again in a feeble attempt to get them to fucking work. Liandrin looked up at you and seemed...confused?

"It's ok." She said weakly. You shook your head violently, pressing the palm of your hand against your chest, trying to calm your laboured breaths.

"It's not. I can't heal you, I'm too weak." You felt her other hand reach out for your hand and squeeze it. It was a very weak squeeze. Too weak.

"Look at me, and concentrate. You're strong." She whispered. You nearly wanted to chuckle. Was this what it took to get Liandrin Sedai to compliment you?

You took a deep breath in and calmed yourself as much as possible. Your hands were shaky as you lifted them again, letting them hover above her wound. You looked into her eyes and took all the strength left in you together and tried to channel. It felt like you were burning out from the inside but the weaves appeared. You were aware of how dangerous it was, but that didn't matter. Slowly, very slowly, the weaves healed her wound. Your breathing heavily, hand shaking more and more. She gained a little of her natural skin colour back, and the second her wound was closed you broke down. The wound wasn't healed very prettily, there would definitely be a scar. Usually you were much better at this, but she was safe. That was all that mattered.

All you felt were soft fingers pushing your hair out of your face and lifting your head. As you opened your eyes you realised, that your head was resting in Liandrin's lap. Her fingers softly combed through your hair, soothingly, nearly lovingly. A touch you weren't aware Liandrin was capable of.

It felt like an eternity that you both stayed like this, her fingers running through your hair. You weren't sure if you had maybe fallen asleep at some point. But you were definitely a little stronger again when she suddenly spoke.

"You risked your life for me." She said, and it sounded like she was confused. It was just a hint in her voice, put you picked up on it. Apart from the fact that you'd risk your life for all of your sisters, you were slightly surprised that she ever thought you wouldn't.

"You should have gotten out of there and not cared about me. You should have saved your own life." She added, sounding almost angry now. She didn't look at you, looked straight ahead into the forest, and yet her fingers were still in your hair. Slowly you sat up and tilted your head as you looked at Liandrin.

"Of course I risked my life for you. I'd do that for all of our sisters." You said simply. You weren't going to tell her that she was special. She turned her face to look at you. She searched for your eyes, for any sort of lie in them, any sort of deception.

"You hate me." She stated coldly, putting on the arrogant and confident mask again. You immediately let out a weak chuckle.

"I don't hate you." She was confused. That was very apparent now.

"Everyone knows that you hate me. You didn't even want me on this mission." She said and raised an eyebrow, it was like she wanted to challenge you.

"I'm the only one in the whole tower who can actually keep calm when talking to you. If I hated you, I definitely wouldn't keep so calm." You explained carefully and shrugged. You weren't sure if she was ready for the whole conversation, for the blunt and full revelation yet.

"But-..." you cut her off. She looks surprised, not many people dared to do that.

"Think about it, when we interact, who's angry and spits venom? Not me." You couldn't help but smirk slightly. She looked stunned, almost speechless. That was a first, you thought.

"What the hell are you talking about?" And she was back. In full glory, icy and mean. You sighed slightly and looked away for a moment. You thought about what to say, how to make her understand.

"Liandrin, I care for you. And I was scared..." you gulped slightly, feeling your chest tighten at the memory of her, so helpless and endangered, "I was really scared for you." You added a little softer and looked back at her.

"Bullshit." She spit out and jumped to her feet. Taking a few steps away from you, she looked down at you, angry and yet a little scared. You were still a little wobbly on your feet but tried to stand up nonetheless. It took a moment to steady yourself once you were up, but you managed. Carefully you took a step closer to her, but she immediately backed off. You sighed.

"Liandrin, please." You pleaded but she ignored it. "No one cares about me, the whole tower hates me. They fear me." She was vulnerable right now, you knew that. But as usual she hid it with anger. You were lost for what to do. It was clear she didn't believe your words. It was clear she didn't want you to get closer. There wasn't much you could do.

"I don't." You said softly, not moving any closer to not upset her further. "I don't fear you. And I do care about you. I always have." You added carefully, choosing your words cautiously. It's like you could see the gears work in her mind, and as she looked back at you, she looked nothing like the Liandrin you knew from the Tower. She looked nothing like the Liandrin that was always angry, always held her chin up high and strode through the corridors of the Tower as if she was the Amyrlin Seat herself.

She looked like a little kid, who had never been loved, never been cared for. Like a woman that was used to being mistreated and used for someone else's pleasure and will. It broke your heart. Carefully you stepped closer again, and this time she allowed it. She looked so small, so vulnerable. With a few steps you stood right in front of her.

"Lia, I care for you. And you deserve to be cared for." You softly whispered, like it was a secret — no, an oath. An oath to always care for her. To give her the love and care she had never gotten in her life. "You deserve to be loved." You added carefully, hoping she would get the hint. And judging by her reaction, she did. Her eyes widened a bit, and she stared at you completely stunned. If not for the situation, and the obvious pain in her eyes, it would have been adorable. You couldn't help but smile slightly and shrug, as if to underline what you had just said.

"You can't-..." She said, voice just a little thinner than usual, a little shakier.

"Yes, I can." You said simply and carefully reached out for her hand. Her fingers against the palm of your hand, soft and warm, was like a grounding power. It calmed your heart, silenced your self-doubt and anxiety.

"And I do." You whispered, face close to hers, so close that you can nearly feel her shaky breath in your skin. You squeeze her hand slightly.

"You're a pain in the ass most of the time." You say and a ghost of a smirk is on her lips. That alone tells you she feels the same or at least similarly to you. Otherwise, you'd be long dead by now, talking to her like this.

"But I care about you, and you're much more than you show people or even make yourself out to be." You finish and search her eyes with yours, trying to decipher a reaction, her feelings on this. You can't read her, and for a moment you ask yourself why. You can always read her. But then you understand why. Her eyes are glossy, she'd never allow even one tear to fall, you know that. But they're there, and that's honestly enough answer for you.

Boldly you tug a strand of honey hair behind her ear, that had fallen out of her complicated half-updo of braids. You'll never understand how she has the patience to do those every day. Your fingers linger in her sharp jawbone for a moment.

"You're ridiculous." She says, and it lacks an obvious amount of sharpness, though you can hear she tries to muster it. She just fails. You smile gently at that.

"Probably." She looks a bit annoyed by that answer, but can't hide a soft smile of her own. A crack of wood somewhere behind you snaps you out of it. You spin around, ready to fight again even though your legs are still a bit wobbly. It's just your horse, you audibly sigh in relief.

"We have to get back to the Tower. I don't know how far you rode, I was completely out of it. But I imagine the white cloaks are pissed, and they're still far too close." You say diplomatically as you look back at her. In the few moments you turned away she sucked up the tears rimmed in her eyes and patched her mask back together. Though it's a bit more transparent than before. A good sign. She agrees and you both get back on the horse. It's a bit awkward now, close together on the horse. Back to the Tower will surely take two days. Maybe longer. You'll manage, and you're sure once at the Tower she'll try to shut you out. But you can be persuasive if you want and now that you've seen a glimpse of her, you won't back down.

[professional-yearner]

Can't help falling in love with you (pt.3)

Yandere! Cheater! Clone officer x reader

Series TW!: cheating, mistresses, grief, murder, Evil-ish, being trapped, toxic relationships, forced relationship, obsessive love, obsession, general insanity, manipulation, disloyalty, crybaby Mc, sensitive and a bit whimpy Mc

Steel stared blankly at the wall as she kissed his shoulder.

"I am kind of going to miss the danger of going around with a married man." Arah joked.

He usually would've given her a chuckle at least, but he only felt sick.

"Hey, you okay?" She frowned, leaning over to look into his face. He felt her hand brush over his cheek, which had grown a rough layer of stubble in the past few days.

He really was about to be sick.

Steel pushed himself up clumsily, startling the Pantoran as he rushed to the fresher in time to make it to the toilet. He shook violently as he heaved his lunch into the bowl, head swimming and thoughts going a mile a minute. He only raised his head when he felt a cool hand running along his back, rubbing in soothing circles.

She was frowning down at him, concern evident in her lovely features,

"Poor thing, it's been a rough week for you, hasn't it?" She cooed.

He said nothing, but leaned away from her palm as she brought a rag down to wipe the bile from the sides of his mouth.

-

Steel let out a groan once he had shut the front door to Arah's apartment behind him. He wasn't really thinking, coming over here after what happened. He just didn't know what else to do.

Arah had been a source of comfort for him these past few months, made him feel good about himself and renewed his ego, but now it all just felt...flat.

Everything felt flat without you.

Without the promise of you being at the apartment when he returned from duty, without the lovely little smile you would give him when he walked through the door. Your laugh, your body, the way your eyes sparkled in the sunlight, the most beautiful and kind soul he had ever experienced.

He sniffed, tears welling in his eyes.

What had he done?

-

Steel was exhausted as he hefted his pack over his shoulder, eyes tired as he amended the catwalk onto the venator.

A group of his brothers stood talking at the edge of the hall, laughing at something one of them had said. As Steel approached, the group went silent, glaring unabashedly.

He winced at the looks of disdain and disgust his vode regarded him with as he passed.

It might hurt more if Steel wasn't already so disgusted with himself.

He knew the looks were warranted tenfold, cheating on one's cyare was one of the worst offenses a clone could commit in the eyes of the community, and Steel agreed.

Cheating was one of the most cowardly and cruel choices Steel had ever made, he knew.

He hated himself for it, but knew that wasn't good enough. Wallowing would do nothing for his girl, he needed to-

"Steel."

He looked up from his brewing, coming face to face with one of his squad, Wake.

"Vod-"

"Don't. Just," His brother sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as always he did when he felt a headache oncoming, "Shut up, for once."

Steel only nodded, waiting for whatever the other clone had to say.

"You've really done it now, Steel. Kriff, I knew you were having problems, but I never would have even considered- I didn't want to believe the rumors, but-"

Even his brother looked hurt when he uttered, "On her?"

"She was so bright, loving- Steel,"

"I know!" He snapped, "You don't think I know that?! She's the best thing to ever happen to me! I love-"

"What are you willing to do to get her back?"

Steel's ears and neck felt hot, burning behind his eyes like he had never felt before, his hands shook as he uttered, "Anything."

Wake passed him, shoulder-checking him for good measure, "Then you had better fix this."

-

Steel groaned into the emptiness of the office, slumping down into one of the swivel chairs and dropping his tray onto the desk in front of him with a clatter.

It had already been a long day and it wasnt even half over.

Dirty looks and coldly livid treatment from his brothers, even warranted, wore on the officer.

Besides his baby, the only support or community he was used to was from them, now he had neither.

He shook away that thought; no good moping about something he got himself into.

His attention was diverted anyways by the sound of the door opening with a clean whoosh and the sound of boots against durasteel.

Wake.

The clean-cut officer entered, shutting the door behind him and regarding his brother briefly.

He tossed the silver-haired clone something hefty in a paper bag before he dould utter a greeting.

"What-"

"Comms." Wake said simply, opening his lunch at the seat beside him.

"I already-"

His brother cut him off through a bite of sandwich, "Just turn it to channel three."

Steel did as he was told, eyes widening as he head your voice crackling to life over the speaker.

He wanted to sit there, close his eyes and just listen to whatever it was you had to say, imagine that the two of you were having one of your old lengthy conversations, but the blue-eyed clone snatched it away from him, switching it off.

Steel stood at that, trying to control himself and not jump at his brother for interrupting the first time he had gotten to hear you in days, but Wake wasn't impressed.

"You can't have it on for more than a few minutes, it's not hard to tell when commas are tapped when you're constantly being listened in on." He explained, waiting for his more volatile brother to sit back down and listen.

After taking a second to compose himself, he did, huffing nonetheless.

Your melodic voice rang in his ears, soothing and already lifting his mood.

You had a talent for doing that, even when you didn't mean to.

"-Steel. Steel!"

He opened his eyes, looking over at Wake, who was trying to get his attention, "Huh?"

His brother rolled his eyes, but snorted out a laugh.

"At least we know her voice still has that same effect on you."

Steel smiled as well, he knew it reminded of how he felt about his own cyare; a tall, pretty twi'lek woman with striking yellow skin and a gap toothed smile that made his brother visibly melt at the sight of.

Their girls had been friends, one of the only people Steel was okay with her being friends with, even if he was still a bit on edge when they had conversations alone.

"Anyways, these should help you keep a track on how she's doing, who she's with,"

Wake looked at him head on, "And hopefully help you from doing anything stupid that would scare her off even more."

He nodded quickly, giddy as his brother went back to his food. Too excited and hopeful to eat his own.

He grinned to himself, smiling for the first time in a week.

He was coming, sweetheart, and when he did, he would fix all of this. Attone for what he had done. Show you just how sorry he was. Put you right back where you were supposed to be; by his side.

And when he did, he would never let you go again.

[oshiawaseni]

Japan’s concept of confession and why Ochaco might not confess

“Confession” is a big deal in a country as subtle as Japan. Not all people have the courage to confess, but when starting official relationships confessions are often expected. This is what I know confessions to be like in the world of manga: Person A talks alone with Person B and shares with them the secrets of their heart. “I like you please accept my feelings.” This usually ends either with them going out or A being rejected by B. The usual reason for the rejection is “I like someone else.”

I’ve been having some more ideas about the day Izuku fell into Kacchan’s arms and how what Kacchan did for him was almost confessional in a way. He told Izuku what was in his heart, why he bullied him and that no matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t escape him. He called him “Izuku” and we saw the impact this had on Izuku’s face. 

Izuku just couldn’t believe that Kacchan was calling his name properly for the first time in 12 years, it completely shocked him, and after apologising for everything, he told Izuku, “Come home, let’s do this together. We need to help each other in this fight against AFO.” 

The conclusion of this confession was that Izuku acquiesced to 1-A’s request for him to return, but it was only really possible because his attachment to Kacchan triumphed over his motivations to stay away. It was Kacchan who broke down his walls with his apology. It was Kacchan who filled him with hope that things would be better, and Kacchan who finally hammered into Izuku how important it was for him to be part of the collective. That his inclusion was very wanted and needed, and that he in turn can rely more on everyone as well. That together, they can push forward, trusting in and helping each other.

I think what hurt Izuku the most during his solo arc was being away from his friends, but especially Kacchan. Because that day in the rain, he literally gave up on his solo vigilante mindset for him. After hearing Kacchan’s unbelievable words he had patiently longed to hear for years, it was impossible for Izuku to stay away from him any longer. As he passed out, he stumbled a few steps towards Kacchan who, without missing a beat, caught him in his arms and gently held him. This embrace told us “From now on it’ll be different. I’m gonna be here for you, Izuku.”

So to recap all of that... Kacchan became vulnerable and spilled what was in his heart, Izuku accepted his desires, with it all culminating in them becoming closer. Which is just like a successful romantic confession!?

I think after watching this all go down, something inside Ochaco clicked. A lot of the class are rushing over to Izuku when Kacchan catches him because they’re just so worried about him, but a few of them, Ochaco included, stay standing back. It doesn’t make much sense at all. But we’re given a zoom in of her without knowing any of the thoughts going through her mind.

They got Izuku back, but she doesn’t really seem all that happy. Momo says to her “this is just the first obstacle we aren’t done yet” and she agrees. Ochaco knows that there’s still more they as a group need to do for Izuku to make his return happen. But the fact that there’s a few panels dedicated to zooming in on her staying put, her almost emotionless face (mirroring Shoto’s) while she’s watching Kacchan save Izuku and his new unbridled intimacy he has with him - could be telling us that there’s something else she’s processing.

Is this moment somber for her because she realised the person Izuku needs the most is none other than the person he has openly admired since she first met him? The very same person who always bared his fangs at Izuku because he was scared him getting close?

Was Ochaco witnessing the beginning of something new between them and suddenly finding herself sidelined as a contender for Izuku’s affections?

Somehow… this could be what it was all about. And that’s why I think there’s a good chance Ochaco gave up her crush on Izuku for good when she witnessed Katsuki return his love and embrace him after that emotionally-charged apology. After this, a more defined distance between her and Izuku appears visible in their next scene together. A respectful distance of Izuku’s own choosing.

It was like a definitive line had been drawn out that can’t and perhaps shouldn’t be crossed. Maybe they both understood that the person Izuku wanted close by his side has always been Katsuki. That desire wasn’t simply a pipe dream to Izuku anymore, it had become reality. And who is Ochaco to get in the way of that?

And then it’s almost like she is bookending Katsuki’s confession to Izuku with a confession of her own about Toga, putting a close to the Izuocha chapter and she makes a comment which feels double in meaning. “I guess that means we are the same.” or You love a boy, just like I might love a girl. (To put it bluntly)

And Izuku remembers this line again after he gets separated from Kacchan and Ochaco is telling him to go. Go back to Tenko. Go back to your Kacchan.

The concept of “knowing how someone feels because you love them and always watch over them” comes up from time to time in manga. In a way, that’s also a reason why Kacchan and Izuku understand each other as deeply as they do and they aren’t afraid of showing it off. They were always watching each other from a safe distance and learning things about each other in this way. I think during chapter 322, this concept is what was happening to cause such a realisation in Ochaco. (And it’s also for this reason Tsuyu, who never had feelings for Izuku, still doesn’t get it.)

It was hard for her, knowing everything she does about Izuku’s deep attachment to Kacchan, to learn that Izuku’s affections for him weren’t one-sided and they were now closer than ever before… That’s why I don’t think she’ll want to get in the way by confessing anymore. If Kacchan’s apology was intended to be compared with a romantic confession, then Ochaco is probably aware that Izuku already “has someone he likes”… and that person isn’t her.

[writer-komaru]

₊˚ପ⊹ Prey of the Snake Eyes (*❦ω❦)/‘˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

✧Rating: Smut + Slight NonCon

✧Characters: Thirteen

✧Word Count: 2.4k

✧Summary: Your decision to wear matching costumes with Mammon to the Devildom annual Halloween party was the last straw for a certain snake-eyed reaper. One moment you’re playing classic carnival games and winning prizes, the next you’re pulled into a secluded spot in the eerie haired house and shown who you really belong to. Try to keep quiet all you want, she’s not stopping till you’re sobbing loud enough to rattle the walls of the celestial realm.

“This was such a cute idea! But how in the world did you get Levi to help make these for us?” You asked Mammon while happily twirling around in front of the mirror.

“My amazing persuasive skills and a little bit of bribery never hurt anyone,” Mammon chuckled to himself as he rested his arm on your shoulder and joined you in front of the mirror.

“You didn’t hear it from me but you look smokin’ hot as Yoimiya,” he playfully nudges you with his elbow, “Everyone’s gunna be so jealous.”

“Yeah, so very jealous that I'm going with The Arataki Itto, that’s what,” you nudge him back and put your hands on your hips.

“Haha, now that’s a given,” he smirks and combs his fingers through his hair. After a quick laugh at his antics you both rush out of the door to make it to the location on time. This wasn’t your first time going to Devildom’s annual Halloween party, but it was the first time you were not only going with someone but dressing up with them too. Usually you and the rest of the demon brothers go as a group, but this year RAD decided it was a great idea to give out a heavily weighted quiz the day after the party so everyone’s held up in their rooms studying. The only reason you and Mammon are going is because he never really cared about his studies and says ‘he could do it with his eyes closed’ and you completed your studies early. You were honestly very happy you didn’t have to go alone because parties are always more fun with friends. But there's just one thing you feel like you’re forgetting…

“Are you sure we brought everything?” You remarked, looking through your purse as you walked.

“What would we need to bring to a Halloween party besides ourselves?” He laughed it off, taking your hand in his and giving it a squeeze.

“Well I don’t know, maybe things like money, keys to the house, our phones, our tickets-“

“Yeah yeah yeah I get it, I’d be lost without you, what else are ya tryin’ to prove, huh?” He snickered and squeezed your hand again.

“I’m glad you realize it,” you laugh with him and eventually reach the entrance to the event. It’s decorated with vines, fake bats, and cutouts of ghosts and other monsters. It looks a little more cute than scary, though. But the interior is a lot more appealing as you two enter. There’s tons of mini games, other demons in costumes, a corn maze, a haunted house, and even a fountain filled with smoking purple water. This might have just been your imagination but you could have sworn Mammon’s eyes sparkled like bright fireworks at the idea of getting to experience all these attractions with you.

“They fuckin’ got apple bobbin’ too! Come on, we gotta go see!” He excitedly pulled your arm, causing you to yelp as he dragged you towards the buckets of apples. That was until both of you suddenly stopped.

“Huh? What gives?!” Mammon narrows his eyes, ready to square with any insignificant demon pleb that dared to interrupt his private time with you. Instead, he realized he was face to face with a bubbly, smiling face and a pair of sharp, snake-like eyes.

“Why hello again Sheepy and… company?” Thirteen waved to you and gave a curious look to Mammon, “Ohhh, you’re that funny guy who tried using a fishing rod while on the roof to snatch things out of people’s bags! Hahaha, that had me in tears!”

His face lit up in an embarrassed and angry blush, “It was one fucking ti- I mean, HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!”

“Wait mammon you actually tried something like that…?” You raised your eyebrow. You knew he would do anything for some quick Grimm but that seems way too cartoony, even for him.

Thirteen continued giggling, playfully slapping him on the back, “Could have used a better escape plan though! Falling off the roof and into the bushes wasn't the best idea.”

“J-just shut up, would ya?! It’s none of your business!!” He snapped back, pulling you closer to him by the arm.

“Alright fine, I’ve had my fun. And I don’t just come here to embarrass you or something, I came here for the little sheepy over here!~” She flashed you a smirk, causing Mammon’s blood to boil. She caught a glimpse at the hand tucked behind his back and the glimmering gold chains swirling around his fingertips and looked away from you, “But it seems you’re a little occupied at the moment, what a bummer. Guess I’ll just have to wait my turn, Cya around, sheepy!” As she bounded away, she drifted a teasing nail across your chest.

“That reaper girl… ugh, whatever, let’s just ignore her,” Mammon huffed as he motioned you back towards the apple buckets.

Throughout the whole night you couldn’t stop thinking about her, over and over, especially how she touched your chest. Was she trying to hint at something?

“Hey, earth to MC, pay attention! It’s no fun winnin’ if you’re just gonna count every star in the sky all night!” Mammon snapped his fingers in front of your face.

“Huh? What? Oh, sorry my bad. It’s uh, just a beautiful night tonight, I got distracted,” you laughed it off, picking your water gun back up and aiming it right at the target ahead of you.

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, sore loser- Hey, quit that, you might actually beat me!” He exclaims, trying to fire twice as fast. After a very close match, you managed to come out on top by only a few points, being rewarded with a cute plushie bat with devil horns.

“Ughhh no fair, I shouldn’t have snapped your attention back and taken the free win instead,” he groaned to himself as you two walked away from the booth, hanging his head low dramatically.

“Look who’s the sore loser now?” You smirked, jabbing him in the shoulder.

“Shut it, I’m not a sore loser! Uh- there! See that game over there? First one to get a prize is the real winner! I’m totally going to wipe that shit eating grin off your face!” He points at the high striker game in the distance and sprints over to it. Excited by the challenge, you begin to follow him, only to feel a familiar pair of hands grace your shoulders.

“Huh? What the-!” You gasp as you're suddenly yanked into the haunted house, a mischievous giggle leading the way to a dark, secluded hallway.

“Was the little sheepy surprised?” A pair of bright green snake-like eyes illuminated the darkness. It was… thirteen?

“Huh? Thirteen? What’s this about? Mammon and I were-“ She presses her pointer finger against your lips.

“Shhhhh~ just forget all about that greedy crow. I’m way more fun than he or anyone in all of Devildom, I thought you knew that by now~” she smirks and once again traces a nail down the middle of your chest. You gulp nervously as the thoughts of your… previous encounters imprint themselves back into your mind.

“B-but we… I’m…” Your heart rate and breathing accelerate more and more as the mischievous reaper leans over you, caging you against the wall.

“Don’t be scared, little sheepy. I'm just here to talk, that’s it!~ Then I’ll let ya go, sounds good?” Her sweet voice becomes a low whisper right against your ear, causing a shiver to run straight down your spine. She smirks at your reaction but doesn’t mention it.

“Whenever I see you nowadays, you’re always hanging around those demon brothers. What’s the deal, huh? I know you’re roommates or whatever but come on, don’t tell me you’d rather get pulled around like their dog on a leash than have some fun with little old me,” she pouts playfully, nudging her thigh between your legs, “And don’t think I can’t see the way they look at you. I can tell they want you, they want you more than just roommates or even friends for that matter. It’s almost amusing. Because no matter how much they want you,” she smirks once more and rubs her thigh against your twitching heat, making you release a whine, “You’re aaaaaall mine~”

“T-thirteen, w-we are in public someone will-“ Your heart skips a beat as she chuckles devilishly, an evil smile stretching across her face.

“Someone will see? Is that it? And so what? Just means more demons will finally realize who you belong too. And I’d guess you like that too, huh?” Her eyes narrow as she grabs your hips and slides them harder against his plush thigh. It’s almost humiliating how good she’s making you feel. You bite your lip, turning away from her, doing your best to hold on to your last shreds of dignity in the face of this flirtatious reaper. But you should have already known fighting back against her is pointless.

“Trying to hold back? Think your cute little body can resist? How silly~ You may be a very special and important human but you’re still just a human with normal human weaknesses~” She laughs at your feeble attempts and doubles down, rubbing your poor, twitching sex harder against her thigh and leaning down to litter rushed hickeys down your neck. If you shunted just a bit it wouldn’t take much to confuse her for a succubus.

“Come on little sheepy, just give in so I can show you a better time than that Mammon guy~” She rolled her eyes at the mere mention of his name, “Playing fun carnival games, wearing matching costume, holding hands, Ughh it’s just insufferable… but I’m getting off topic, I can already tell your body has given up~”

You look down at your hips and watch helplessly as you hump against her leg, small pants and gasps leaving your mouth. She was right.

“What will it be? Want me to continue this or do you wanna peace right back over to the demon that isn’t even looking for you? Who will you choose, the pesky little demon boys or your gorgeous and powerful reaper of souls?~” she waited expectedly for your response, her fingertips snaking under your outfit and teasing the edge of your shorts.

You knew leaving Mammon wasn't a very good idea. If he found you like this it might ignite a second war. But the longer she had you pinned against the wall, grinding your aroused sex in just the right ways to make you lose your mind.

“Agh…damn it… I g-give up…” you finally relented, causing an excited giggle to leave her glossy lips.

“Good little sheepy, I knew you’d tap out eventually. You’ve never been able to resist me and you ever will~” she smirks happily before pulling your shorts down to your knees, making you hiss as the cold, musky air of the creepy hallway greets your dripping, clenching pussy.

“Oh my, look at how damn wet you are from just my thigh, it’s so adorable~” she whispers as she traces small patterns over your pulsing clit, sliding down to your fluttering cunt. Her strokes from your twitching hole to your sensitive clit sends your body into a frenzy, shivering and whimpering like a virgin.

“It feels good doesn’t it? I bet those ignorant demon boys could only dream of touching you like this. Hehehe almost makes me wanna snap a pretty picture of your sweet little pussy taking my fingers and slip a copy under each of their doors, just so they know what they're missing~” Her threats fall on deaf ears as she carefully punges two fingers into your cunt, making sure her thumb doesn’t stop massaging your clit. Your hips buck up into her fingers as they prod against your g spot, almost immediately making your head tilt back to release a surprised moan.

“T-thirteeeeennnnghhh, shit, this feels so good…” You whine and arch your back.

“Oh, I can tell~ I’m only using two fingers but you’re acting like I’m splitting you open. Are you close? Ready to cum already?~” she snickered and gave your g spot a firm rub before thrusting her fingers even faster.

“Mmm, fuck, gunna cum, I need to cu-“ Your half lidded eyes flew open as the sounds of echoed footsteps rung out from some here in the haunted house, “S-someone’s her- AGh?!~”

You looked down in fear as three skilled fingers pounded into your pussy and Thirteen’s lips wrapped around your throbbing bud. You knew damn well she could hear those footsteps just as well as you did. Such a troublemaker, through and through. Your orgasm was quickly approaching as the warmth built up more and more in your abdomen, showing no signs of stopping.

“MC?! Damn it, where are you?! Answer me!” Mammon’s worried voice grew closer and closer, footsteps rushing down the opposing hall. All it would take is one turn at the corner and one more thrust against your sweet spot and he would get to witness the sight of his crush cumming all over someone else’s fingers. The image of that lewd scene was both terrifying and hot at the same time, making your stimulated cunt squeeze even tighter.

“Oh?~ Don’t tell me… does the little pure sheepy like the thought of being found with their pussy being fucked? Hehehe, I’ll take your twitches as a yes,” An almost sadistic expression spread across her face from in between your legs. If that look means what you think it means, you were really in for it. A stream of moans rip from your throat as she sucked harshly on your clit, finger fucking you so hard your pussy’s squelching could probably be heard from all the way at the fucking entrance of the haunted house.

“Aaagghh, s-slow do- f-faster… fuckkk, slow D-DOWNNNGHH!~~’” Your body shook pathetically as the dreaded footsteps picked up speed.

“Yeah, keep crying out like a good little sheepy. You’re mine, and no one else’s. Now cum, cum all over my tongue and show Mammon how much better I make you feel~”

The boiling heat in your pussy was far too impossible to hold back any longer, exploding into a spasm of muscles and loud moans as your hot slick spilled into Thirteen’s eager mouth. The horrified look of betrayal on Mammon’s face you caught the glimpse of before your dazed eyes blinked closed is one that will stay permanently engraved in your mind the next time you try to go out with another demon.

Reblog + Comment + Like if you’d like to see more obey me or Thirteen in specific writing!

(I took a small break cuz of burn out and I’m ready to keep on writing! Sorry this is a bit short, I had more of a smaller idea going in than I did the other ones. Expect more writing soon <3)