Having to explain to my mom that 5min crafts is a content farm/what that is. That sure they have some genuine hacks, but a lot are genuinely dangerous and bad
It's like I'm not trying to be the parent, but I've been on the internet daily since I was 9 years old and you respectively have only been on it for maybe 8 years? Consistently? And only on Facebook. Like man the shit I have seen has aged me a lot more mentally than I care to admit.
It's so hard too bc I know I should like a know it all/conspiracy freak when I tell her not to get a reddit bc she's gonna get sucked into a WS cult and get radicalized, or when I tell her Facebook reels is the same as tiktok. Which she has continuously forbade me to have since it came out (bc evil chinese company. It's okay when it's an evil American company though). That she needs to be careful and not just believe whatever she sees, but it's like for once I DO know more and I DO need to be the adult.
Like I remember having so many fucking talks to get her out of that SAVE THE CHILDREN shit and debunking the wayfair shit, and the Hillary Clinton shit, and all this shit. I constantly am telling her "nope that's antisemitism in disguise, heres why" ab stupid theories and shit and why they're harmful and it's like I want to fucking scream
Idk where I was going with this but like god I'm tired
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HHHHHHHHHH WHY ARE THEY FUCKING UP ANNABETH'S CHARACTERIZATION SO MUCH WHY WHY WHY
Annabeth doesn't forcefully take charge on the first quest, Percy and Grover look to her for guidance
Percy has no clue about anything going on, so he's gonna listen to the person who actually knows stuff, and Grover just like. he's a follower in the early books okay he doesn't become a leader until later
having Annabeth be like "I know what to do I know what's going on so LISTEN TO ME and DO WHAT I SAY or we're ALL GONNA DIE" is sooooooooo much worse than Percy and Grover looking at each other, shrugging, and asking Annabeth to please tell them what to do bc she knows things and is smart
genuinely why did they Hermione-ify Annabeth WHY WHY WHY not all smart girls are cut from the same cloth okay 😢
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
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I am legit about to cry over how fucking hard this fangame is. I've been enjoying Pokémon Pathways and it's been overall good for my mental health. But it has level caps and I need to beat 5 really fucking hard trainers 7 in game days in a row. I'm on the last in game day of this rage inducing bullshit and after 4 tries I finally beat the first of the last five trainers, but I forgot to save afterwards and then lost to the second trainer of the day. I seriously had to hold back tears when I saw I have to battle the first trainer again.
I've lost 5 more times now and I hate myself. I just want my fucking level cap raised from 85. I don't even like these meant for competitive players challenges because I'm not a competitive player. I actually suck at battling without access to my bag. I need my fucking max revives. I worked so hard on this team and now I'm practically soft locked, unable to progress until I beat a practically unbeatable opponent. The one time I managed to win was literally pure luck. And I do mean literally; it came down to how often my opponent missed. My team doesn't have any accuracy modifiers.
I'm screwed. If I let myself lose I'll have to start over again, battling 30 increasingly frustrating trainers all over again. I'd rather abandon the game, learn how to code, and hack the fucking game than start this bullshit over. Why aren't there fan games for casual players who simply want all the Pokémon in one game? Why are they all for competitive players? Why don't they have an option to be slightly easier. Just let me access my bag damn it!
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The worst part about being good at masking your mental disabilities and/or neurodivergence is that, if you do have a bad day, your employer will act like you’re not working hard enough to manage your mental health as opposed to you being a human being who works very hard but still has bad days sometimes.
And one can’t forget that mentioning the potential of having a breakdown or meltdown on the floor in front of a customer is treated as you threatening bad behaviour, as opposed to you being up front about a very real risk that you’re terrified of having to go through, because you know it would not only look bad for the store and reflect poorly on you, it would also be humiliating and potentially traumatizing and definitely effect how your coworkers view and treat you.
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meta • mental profile :: ADHD
a chunk is under the cut because this ended up being 3 pages. it's not even all i wanted to talk about. ask to tag if i don't tag something !!
gen was diagnosed early, at about 6 years old, but only due to her father stepping in and refusing to let it go unchecked. they had been struggling in school to a severe degree, getting into fights, having breakdowns over tiny little things that to her made sense to break down over, and couldn't seem to keep friends if she was even able to make them. her mother fought against it, refused to accommodate it, denied it up until her death.
gen has known since she was diagnosed that she has adhd. still, never getting proper or remotely adequate assistance or help made it hard for her to accept that the majority of her "bad" behaviors were related. once she was able to do her own research, she pieced things together, but going through life unmedicated and continuous gaslighting attempts left a considerable impact on how she handles it all.
therapy helps, meds help, but she still struggles day to day. emotional regulation, object permanence, and RSD are the primary things that cause the most issue, she has frequent crying episodes that seem to just come out of nowhere, forgets things constantly even if she's just seen it / interacted with it, and has a hard time dealing with others even begin slightly upset with her/ feeling like she's done something to push someone away. if it gets too intense, she withdraws. she flees.
she has rage episodes that are heightened by not just trauma but also her powers. a lot of it is tied to control and losing it. also feeling super overwhelmed / too tired. sometimes it's just because she hasn't eaten that day, or one too many things has happened and she can't handle it. she will lash out if everything gets to that specific and undefined level of too much, and depending on the situation this can be verbal or sometimes physical.
90% of the time, physical reactions are directed at herself. she'll throw things / break things, though this is more a thing when she's younger. she does not use this as an excuse for any hurt or upset she might cause another person, but it is an explanation and a reason. they have been working on this in therapy for around 9 years, ever since her mother died and she was able to get help.
ALONG WITH THIS - she has a hard time with remembering dates no matter how important they might be. they forget they need to go to the bathroom, need to eat, need to blink at times. it's all very frustrating to them and they have a hard time letting others help them with all of it. she had to do it all on her own growing up, anytime she did let someone close it was just an inevitable that they would give up. it would get to be too much. so somewhere along the way she just... stopped asking for help. it never felt like anyone could hear her no matter how loud she screamed so, she just decided to save her energy, save herself from the hurt of not being listened to. shut off.
they have their coping skills and some are good some bad, as she gets further into therapy there's an increase in the good and a decrease in the bad, but, some are still there.
they have a tendency to get attached to others, they don't like it, and when things go too well or are too good, she bolts. she's working on this, at least to a degree. it isn't just the attachment but also the need for novelty, for something new that constantly pushes her to running and finding something that can fill a little empty part of her, and it hurts them to do it but they don't know how else to handle it. they do not and will never intentionally want to hurt someone that they love. it just happens sometimes, and she has to deal with the fallout, and it hurts.
her overtalking and overexplaining is both due to the adhd and cptsd, but, it's mostly just how she expresses feeling comfortable. if she's able to just talk without filtering the speed or length at which she talks, it means she feels like she's in a safe space to do so. most of her hyperfixations are things that she won't share unless she's close to a person, they're on the odder side of things, but there are some that are really the only thing she wants to talk about the majority of the time.
they will shove into a conversation at incorrect times, so, they do sometimes have a tendency to not talk. if they don't know how to enter a conversation, they'll avoid it, and if they don't there's a high chance she'll start talking over the other person. she doesn't intend to do this and ends up overapologizing for it.
she is not afraid to talk about her struggles and her diagnosis, she encourages others to talk about theirs, but does understand if it's not something someone wants to discuss. they do, from time to time, slip into a doom / rumination mode. it's something that she just has to ride out. all she needs is someone to support that she's having a hard time, not try and fix it all immediately.
there's a lot more to it all, but, this is some of the more important big things. i'll talk about the smaller things in another post.
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I know a lot of people headcanon Vanus as autistic, and that is a totally valid claim, but may I also put this up on the headcanon pinboard?
Given what Vanus dealt with before the age of eleven, I think this might account for him. I mean, even the stuff we weren't explicitly told about- his mother, for one thing. If she was fearful and "traditional" enough to sell out her husband, which she knew would get him killed, imagine how she was with her son.
Emotional abuse can cause long lasting trauma in children that will continue to harm or disable them throughout adulthood. Sadly, Vanus most likely experienced that paired with actual life threatening trauma.
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