#and sometimes i catfish myself that's always crazy

[daydadahlias]

scale of 1-10 how much fun do you have when you send asks to yourself

a lot more fun than this ask

[shadowjtrev]

it's funny when we both would say what would have happened if I had never made those cookies on valentines day. it was those very cookies that had let her know that I was serious.. and tbh it was true, yeah I was just making cookies and yeah I told her as a friend I just wanted to let her know that she was being thought of, but I know I liked her.

so that's what I did.. i made them and drove to her place with nothing in mind but to just give this pretty gal, my new friend, her cookies, but then I saw her.. it was my first time seeing her, she came down the stairs and opened the door, all her dogs were barking and going crazy, but she came out that door, clean face, simple clothes, hair in a bun, bare foot, and my heart sank the moment I layed eyes on her, she said hi and gave me a hug quickly and told me she was in a rush because at any moment her tub was going to over flow, I told her now worries and handed her the cookies and we said our goodbyes .. she would later ask me if she was a catfish and I immediately shut that down because if anything she was even more beautiful in person and I let her know that, her skin was beautiful, her face was flawless and sharp with the most magnetizing eyes like you wouldn't believe a woman like her existed.

but those cookies, layed the foundation for everything, it lead to our first date, it then led us to us making it official.. such a simple gesture solified my next coming days and months, It sounds silly to glorify such a small moment but that week with her made me realize and convinced I could have a future with this girl, and I wanted to see it through.

so why am I writing this? well, it's valentines day, and I just think back on my past life and well with her.. she's the only woman that made this day have meaning, even when we weren't together on that day. like my entire life changed because of a silly little decision and action I wanted to make and yeah, it's the only thing my mind can really run to on a day like this.

she made my life so exciting, she gave me so much, and believe me, I tried making plans tonight to distract myself, I did, but nothing planned out and I just ended up here, in my apartment, alone. I've always disliked this month, but always felt passionate about it because of how I always love to celebrate things. and well, she gave meaning to all of that, she gave meaning to the word, action, and feeling of love..

this day just always makes me reflect on all of my years and to just see my love life for what it was. it was always her, that added any value to all of this, and honestly I couldn't have asked for such a perfect gal.

I know its easy to be sad, I know its easy to just dwell on the negativity but I do my best to move forward, to find myself, to find any sort of distraction, I really do. but days like today my mind can't help but think back..

yes those cookies were meant to be, but a part of me has been thinking lately that as beautiful as we were together, maybe we really were wrong place, wrong time, to just think how everything played out kind of breaks my heart.. sometimes I think I was only there to bring her out of her past bad relationship, and us becoming a couple was me asking for a little too much of the universe.. but idk, I really don't..

despite timing though, me meeting her was still meant to be when I think about it.. all of my experiences and knowledge I gained through her were meant to be. I always apologized to her about our relationship being my first true one , she always said it was okay but I know my inexperience with the big things down to the smallest things effected so much in the beginning. but I learned so much, I made up for my short comings and mistakes and I always did what I could for her and I know I wouldn't be the man I am today without her and I'll always be thankful for it. ans even though it feels wrong, I know I'll take all that I learned into my next relationship, if there ever is one.

now that I think about it, she was my first and only valentine, crazy to think this was all two years ago

but anyways.. happy valentines day to all out there, I really hope love, wether it be grand or in the simplest form, finds you in all its glory.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Epilogue

One Year Later

Robyn sighed as Chris gently massaged her shoulders, “What aren’t you good at?”

Chris chuckled as he placed a kiss at the top of her spine, “I haven’t found anything I can’t do, that’s why you keep me around.”

“I cannot disagree with that.”

“How you feeling?”

“Better. I hate that my balance is still off after all this time.”

“It’s not really noticeable, you just have a moment every once in a while. No big deal.”

“Nice way to say I’m clumsy as hell.”

Chris laughed, “you are not clumsy, Baby.”

“You’re my husband, of course you’d say that.”

“I’m your husband,” Chris repeated with a laugh.

“Is that all you heard me say?”

“That’s all that matters. I don’t care about you being clumsy, you fall, I catch you. That’s how we work anyway.”

“We’re married, you don’t have to keep sweet-talking me.”

“I will never stop”

“That still feels weird saying that.”

“What?”

“Married. We were divorced for seven years and now look at us.”

Chris chuckled, “we are the best thing that’s ever happened to each other.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Babe, can you pass me the lotion please?”

Chris secured a towel around his waist as he grabbed the large jar of body butter, “Nope. I’ll do it.”

“You do know my hands work?”

“I know but I’m gonna rub you down anyway. I love this time.”

Robyn folded the towel in between her breasts then followed Chris back into their bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed as Chris sat down on the fall in front of her. He lifted her foot onto his lap before he opened the jar and scooped some of the body butter into his palm then began rubbing it into her skin.

“You know what I think about sometimes?” Robyn asked.

“What?”

“Your vows.”

“My vows? Seriously?”

“Yes. Why do you sound surprised?”

“That’s not the first thing I anticipated you saying, that’s all.”

“You said a lot that I wasn’t expecting. It was very poetic.”

“Well, I’ve always had a way with words according to you.”

“I have said that before, huh?”

“Yes. Want to know a secret?”

“You better not tell me somebody else wrote your vows.”

Chris chuckled, “Nah, I wrote it, I just didn’t write it all recently.”

“Really? When did you write it?”

“Years ago, it was one of my therapy assignments. I had to write a letter to you regarding your influence on my life. I added a few things that were relative to our new wedding but most of it was written back then.”

“Babe, that was almost ten years ago.”

“I know.”

“And you held on to it all this time?”

“It was something you needed to hear, using it as my vows just seemed to be the perfect time.”

“Can you recite it for me again?”

“All of it?”

“Whatever you can remember.”

Chris smiled as he moved to her other leg and began to rub body butter into it, “I don’t know if it was fate or just divine timing but your face being the first face I saw as I walked into my elementary school classroom to your face being the last face I’ll see before I close my eyes every night was definitely not an accident. There was something about the way you always looked at me that made me feel important and worthy. It was different from the way I’d ever been looked at before and even then, at ten years old, unable to describe the feeling but knowing I felt something all the same, I fell in love with you. I couldn’t verbalize it but I tried to show it in the best way my ten year old brain knew how. So I catered to you, I protected you, I cherished you and you did the same for me. The stability I had always hoped for, you gave to me. If someone had told me then that I’d be marrying you for the second time now, I’d think they were crazy. Everyone knows this is our second time saying I do but I feel like saying I will would be more appropriate. I will, to illustrate future promises and acknowledge that now is not the only time we should be concerned about. I was concerned about now when I let you go over 7 years ago but the future matters just the same. I will continue to protect you. I will continue to care for you. For our babies. Our family. I will continue to take care of you. I will continue to honor you and in turn honor myself. I owe you a lifetime, a lifetime I promised you years ago, a lifetime I wasn’t strong enough to give you before but that I’m strong enough to give you now.”

Chris stood from his position on the floor and gently pulled Robyn up then gathered her in his arms. He rested his cheek against hers as he continued speaking in a soft whisper, “Those green eyes haunted me. Your smile hung over my shoulder like a picture on a wall. Your touch gently pushed me into the direction to better myself. I’m ready to be all you want me to be as well as what I want me to be. For our babies. For our relationship. For our love. This isn’t so much a second chance but a continuation of where we had already been. I knew the moment I saw you again that we would be here and I also knew you’d fight yourself all the way but the day you saw that this was always meant to be, I’d knew you’d melt into me as you always did. There is nothing in my life that I ever wanted more than to give you what I owed you. And with this ring, I thee wed. And with this ring, I will continue to be all you need me to be.”

His skin absorbed the haphazard tear that fell down Robyn’s cheek in between their pressed flesh. His hand smoothed along her expanded waist and across her swollen belly. The warmth of the new life growing inside her was felt through the towel. Their third blessing, unexpected and scary but a blessing nonetheless, moved as Chris’s fingertips gently pressed a pattern against their home. Robyn held onto him tighter as her emotions settled, “how’d you know my favorite parts?”

“They made you cry at our ceremony too.”

“That is very true.”

“The baby is moving.”

“I felt it. The baby always moves when Daddy’s near.”

“You been feeling ok?”

“Yea. I’m not on bed rest this time so I’m a little bit more optimistic this time around.”

Chris leaned back from her face and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Robyn leaned forward and pecked his lips, “this wasn’t supposed to be that emotional.”

“We’ve been married for a year, if I can still draw it out of you then I’m doing something very right.”

Robyn laughed as she kissed him again, “you’ve always been my weakness, Christopher.”

“And you’ve always been my strength. I guess we’re just a perfect match.”

“I’m already pregnant, Sir.”

“And?”

“And you don’t have to keep sweet-talking me like this.”

“But I’ma do it anyway.”

Chris pressed a soft kiss to the middle of her forehead before he rested his chin on top of her head, “you ready for bed?”

“Yea. Can you get a nightshirt for me?”

“Yup. Anything else?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

Chris left into their walk-in closet while Robyn sat back down on the bed.

                                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy! Mommy!”

Robyn turned her head as she heard Anesa’s voice heading in her direction. The 4 year old ran into the living room and jumped on the couch next to her mother. Sweetly lying her head against Robyn’s shoulder, “hi Mommy!”

“Hi Baby Girl. What’s going on? You sound so excited.”

“Daddy says we can go with you to find out what the baby is. He says I don’t have to go to school that day”

“Oh. Now me and Daddy didn’t discuss that part.”

“That’s because I didn’t say that part. Right Anesa?”

Robyn chuckled as Chris walked into the living room with Christian asleep in his arms. Anesa tucked her head further into Robyn’s body, “I was just hoping, Daddy.”

“Well Ms. Anesa,” Chris replied as he sat down on the loveseat that was situated perpendicular to the couch Robyn and Anesa was on, “Mommy’s appointment is in the afternoon, after you get out of school so you don’t have to miss school for anything.”

“But what if Mommy is nervous and needs me to take care of her during the day.”

“Mommy will be with Daddy so she’ll be fine.”

Anesa pouted and Chris chuckled, “I love you Lovebug but that face is not gonna change my mind. Now get your bookbag from by the door and take it up to your room.”

“Yes Sir.”

Anesa kissed Robyn’s cheek then left to the front door before running down the hallway. Chris shook his head as he shifted their son into a more comfortable position in his lap, “The little girl is something else.”

“That is all you,” Robyn said with a laugh.

“No, that is you. I didn’t teach her to negotiate like that.”

“You make it sound as if it’s a bad thing.”

“Depends on the circumstances. So how was your day?”

“It was good. We had a board meeting regarding the foundation. Beverly has put me in charge of the fundraising gala since I’m remote and can’t see any patients.”

“She’s really enjoying that promotion.”

“She enjoys making me deal with people.”

Chris laughed, “Baby, you can plan this in your sleep. Don’t be a whiner.”

“I’m pregnant, I’m allowed to whine.”

Chris arched his brow at her and Robyn faked like she was throwing a pillow at him, “Christian being in your lap just saved you.”

“Whatever. You know what you want for dinner?”

“I was gonna make some chicken unless you want something else.”

“I feel like making a Southern meal. How about fried chicken and catfish, hushpuppies, mac and cheese with cornbread?”

“Babe, you’ve been working and cooking for the past week, I can handle it.”

“That is not what I asked you, Mrs. Brown. Does that sound good to you?”

“I’m pregnant, everything sounds good to me but I don’t want you to burn out.”

Chris chuckled as he stood up and walked over to her. Robyn held her arms out to take Christian but Chris shook his head as he moved the baby into the crook of his arm. He leaned down and kissed her lips, “the only thing you have to worry about is that little one you’re carrying. I would ask you to stop working but I think you’d physically fight me before you’d do that.”

“And you would be right.”

“I love you and I can handle this. Let me take care of you, Robyn. Please.”

“Only if you promise to let me take care of you. You can’t forget about yourself during this time, especially not like before. I can still do things within reason. Will you let me sometimes?”

“I can compromise on that.’

“Then I can let you cook dinner tonight but I am cooking this weekend. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Chris sighed as he placed the tea bags into the pot of boiling water then grabbed a glass mug out of the overhead cabinet. He’d been restless for the past few weeks. He wasn’t sure if it was paranoia about the pregnancy or this weird feeling of wanderlust he had. The first year they were married the first time, he and Robyn were home for only pockets of time, usually if he had a project to be completed but other than that, they were traveling everywhere. He had settled into a routine once they were divorced, prior to getting Anesa, he took a few sabbaticals, leaves of absence just to get out of the house. That wasn’t able to be the case over the last few years. 

As the brew reached his desired color, he turned off the stove and carefully poured some tea into his mug, squeezed a few drops of honey, a little bit of lemon juice then went to sit on the enlarged window ledge, which was the width of a daybed. Sometimes he wasn’t sure if it was actually wanderlust or just paranoia about being a husband again. They had successfully made it past their first year as a married couple again but there was still a bit of fear of how they would fare going forward. Things started going bad around this time the last time and as much as he didn’t want to think about it, it was hard not to. He took a sip of tea just as he saw Robyn’s reflection in the window. Her rounded belly protrude forward, stretching the thin fabric of her nightshirt. 

“Hey you,” Chris said softly.

Robyn smiled and walked over to him, “you ok?”

“Yea. Can’t sleep.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not sure I’m ready yet.”

“Hmm…”

“Want some tea?”

“Nah, I’m good. You mind some company?”

“Of course not.”

Setting his mug on a nearby side table, Chris helped Robyn to sit down in between his legs. She turned her body to rest into the crook of his left arm, facing the window. They sat in silence for a few minutes as she haphazardly drew circles on the window with her finger.

“You ok?” Chris asked as he rubbed her back. Robyn nodded her head as she continued to stare out the window, “you know you don’t have anything to be afraid of, you’re not the same person you were the first time.”

“How’d-”

“We had our first fight on this date. You walked out and didn’t come home for three days straight. I remember when I found you at the park, looking like you hadn’t washed in days. I wasn’t even sure if you had stayed in a place and just wasn’t sitting at the park for those three days. You were catatonic, seemed traumatized for some reason and you never completely snapped out of it until our last fight when you told me you wanted a divorce. I never understood what happened between the first fight and the last but you were never the same.”

“I honestly don’t remember our first fight. I don’t know if I just really don't remember or I erased it from my memory.”

“Could be a bit of both.”

“Something tells me you’ve never been able to forget it.”

“We said some horrible stuff to each other. I regret it happened.”

“I think that’s why I left, I feel like I traumatized myself.”

“Or it reminded you of a time when you were traumatized by the same circumstances. You never spoke to your therapist about it?’

“I don’t really remember it, I spoke about how we argued then we just stopped talking and how that affected me but I only went into specifics about moments that I could vividly remember. If you hadn’t mentioned finding me in the park I wouldn’t have really known what you were talking about.”

“You remember the park?”

“Yea, I ended up there a lot. I’m not sure what really drew me there, though.”

“When you disappeared, did you actually go to someone’s house or?”

“I was in the park, I used to sit there all day and I really didn’t sleep. I always sat in that hidden alcove that was covered by a lot of overhead trees. People never bothered me there, usually by nighttime, it was hard to see over there. And I would just sit there all day and night. After the first few times, Jessica used to bring me food and a blanket just to make sure I ate. It was never a priority when I got in one of those moods.”

“Explains why when you did finally come home, you’d sleep for hours.”

“My first instinct was to run when I felt uncomfortable or afraid.”

“And you’re getting that feeling now.”

“I remember the beginning of our second year is when things started to go bad. I don’t anticipate that being the case this time.”

“But your body isn’t completely convinced. Your fight or flight instincts are preparing themselves.”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Should I pack you a go bag with food and a blanket?”

Chris chuckled, “I appreciate the sentiment but no. I have an appointment with my therapist next week, we’ll discuss it.”

“Chris, I think we should go back to LA.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yea. I think it plays such a huge part in our history and we’ve never really addressed it. It’s where everything started for us.”

“That’s true.”

“And I don’t want to sound paranoid but I think there’s some unresolved issues that we left there, that could be contributing to your fear about us being married again. You know as soon as we could, we both just left. We’ve never talked about what made the situation turn out the way it did because it wasn’t just you and your situation with your parents. Things were turning before that, you know.”

“I can admit that. We’d have to wait until the baby is born. I’m not sure I wanna chance it on a plane with you still being pregnant.”

“Oh I know. I understand.”

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“If we want this marriage to make it past the three year mark, we have to be honest about why the first time we didn't. Who knows what else we’ve blocked out about our relationship especially since neither of us have stepped foot in California since the divorce.”

“Would you mind sitting in on a session with me?”

“Chris, I don’t-”

“I’m not saying you have to participate but I would really like you to be there with me next week. I know you get sensitive about us having our own space but sometimes it’s ok to share.”

Robyn sighed, “I don’t like therapists.”

“I figured that out already.”

“How?”

“Just had a feeling from when we first talked about it. Was your first experience that bad?”

“It was uncomfortable, I probably wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about what I was feeling. I just never felt comfortable with the whole talking to strangers thing.”

“That’s understandable, Baby. I’m not gonna make you go or anything, just promise me that you’ll think about it, ok?”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Thank you.”

“You ready to go to bed?”

“Still not sleepy.”

“Ok.”

Robyn kissed the inside of his forearm then snuggled deeper into the crook of his arm. Chris gently rubbed her back as he felt her body relax into sleep. 

                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Baby, are you ok in there?”

Chris paused to wait for an answer before he rushed back into the bedroom. Robyn was lying back on the bed with her hands cupping the underside of her belly.

“Are you ok? What’s the matter?”

“I’m ok. It’s just the extra weight gets to me sometimes. I’m fine.”

“Stand up in front of me. Let me try something.”

Robyn sighed then pushed herself to a sitting position. She took Chris’s outstretched hand to pull herself up off the bed. He led her to stand in front of him then settled his hands underneath her belly, “take a deep breath and I’m gonna gently lift for a few moments, ok?”

“Ok.”

Robyn took in a breath as Chris lifted her belly in his hands. She leaned her head back against his shoulder in relief, “Oh My God, this is perfect.”

Chris chuckled softly as he kissed her temple, “you are too much.”

“No, this feels amazing, I swear.”

Chris gently let her belly down and Robyn groaned, “I’ll do it again later but we have to get out of here if we’re gonna make it to the appointment on time.”

“Does your doctor know that I’m coming?’

“Yes, she knows.”

“Does she know I don’t plan on speaking?”

“I told her that like you asked me to.”

“Then we’re on the same page?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Can you slide my shoes over here? I really cannot bend down.”

“I asked if you needed help getting ready and you said you had it.”

“I say a lot of things sometimes, I thought I did have it.”

Chris shook his head as he grabbed her slip ons. He carefully helped her put her feet inside her shoes then grabbed her bookbag off the side chair, “anything else you need?”

“No, we’re good to go.”

Robyn hooked her arm through Chris’s and they left.

“Did she irritate you?” Chris asked as they got into the car. He helped Robyn put on her seatbelt then his own before he turned over the ignition.

“Actually, no. She was ok.”

“You seem a little agitated.”

“I’m fine. I was there to observe and that’s what I did.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“There’s a but in there somewhere.”

“I know you were trying to get me comfortable with therapy but that wasn’t the way to do it.”

“I just wanted you to see what happens since you obviously had a bad experience. I’m not trying to get you into therapy or anything like that. It’s not your thing and I accept that.”

“Ok.”

“There was no agenda involved, I really just wanted you to meet her and see what happens. I promise.”

“Ok. I’m taking you at your word. Whats the plan for the rest of the day?”

“We can do lunch then we have to get ready for your ultrasound appointment.”

“Ooh can we get some food from that taco truck downtown? I really got a taste for Mexican.”

“We can get whatever you want.”

Anesa happily bounced in her chair as they waited into the doctor’s office. They were finally gonna see what kind of baby her mommy was carrying. She was really hoping for a little sister but another brother would be ok too.

“Anesa, Sweetie, you need to relax a little bit. You’re making Mommy nervous,” Robyn said softly from her spot on the examination table. 

Anesa giggled then sat still, “Sorry Mommy, I’m just excited.”

“I know Sweetie but you can be excited and still sit still.”

“Yes Ma’am. Mommy, do you know what you want?”

“I just want a healthy baby, that’s all that matters.”

“Oh ok. Do you feel sick?”

“No, I’m actually doing ok right now. Thank you for asking.”

“You’re welcome. Mommy can I sit by you?”

“Of course you can, Sweetie. Be careful sliding the chair over.”

Anesa pushed the chair beside the table and grabbed Robyn’s hand that was hanging over the side. Robyn kissed the back of her hand then gave a slight squeeze as they continued to wait for Chris and the doctor to come back.

Chris stood outside the room with the doctor and Christian in his arms, “is there anything I might need to give her a heads up about before we go back in there?”

“Nothing bad, Mr. Brown. I think you’ll both be pleasantly surprised.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

The doctor held open the door  then followed Chris and Christian inside. Chris sat down in the chair that was situated against the wall as the doctor sat in his rolling office chair.

“Ok Mrs. Brown, you can sit up now. I just needed to get another set of eyes for your ultrasound.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, it’s very good news.”

“So what is it?”

“You’re having twins.”

“What?”

“You’re having twins. They appear to be fraternal, one boy and one girl.”

“Wait, is that safe? Can I even-”

“Yes, it appears that everything is normal. I am in contact with your neurologist and such so we will keep an eye on the possibility of any complications but as of right now, your babies are healthy and normal.”

“Can we have a copy of the photo?” Chris asked.

“Absolutely. I’m gonna write up your prenatal recommendations and get some copies then you can be on your way.”

The doctor left the room and Chris turned to look at Robyn. She was holding her stomach with her free hand.

“Baby, are you ok?”

“Daddy, I think Mommy’s in shock,” Anesa said softly, “she’s squeezing my hand really tight.”

Chris set Christian in his stroller then walked over to Robyn and gently pulled Anesa’s hand out of her tight grip, “Baby, can you hear me? Are you ok?”

Robyn still didn’t speak but Chris noticed her chest was starting to heave.

“Damn it, she’s having an anxiety attack,” he murmured to himself, “Anesa, give Daddy Mommy’s bookbag.”

Anesa handed him the black bag and Chris carefully rummaged through it until he had her inhaler in hand. He shook it vigorously before holding it up to her lips, “Robyn, I need you to breathe for me, Baby. You’re making me nervous.”

He pushed the inhaler between her lips and pushed down on the pump twice. Robyn sucked in the air and Chris carefully rubbed her back, “good job. Now just take a few deep breaths for me, ok?”

Her chest gently moved up then down. After a few minutes, her body seemed back in control but she was still not speaking.

“Robyn, can you hear me? Are you ok?”

She nodded her head and Chris sighed, “Robyn, I’m going to get the doctor and we’ll go home. Will you be ok by yourself for a few moments?”

She nodded her head. Chris kissed her cheek then left out of the office door. Anesa moved to grab her hand again and kissed the back of it, “it’s gonna be ok, Mommy. You don’t have to be scared.”

                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s gonna be ok, Mommy. You don’t have to be scared.”

Anesa’s voice kept floating in and out of Robyn’s head as she felt the oxygen mask be placed over her face. She looked to her left and Chris was standing there covered in hospital scrubs. She looked to her right and her doctor along with two nurses were prepping two infant carts. She was really about to give birth to twins. She squeezed Chris’s hand and he smiled down at her, “Baby, they’re almost here. I am so proud of you.”

Chris wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheek then gave her a kiss. Robyn looked down at her belly, it was covered by a partition. She had agreed to a c-section and subsequent tubal ligation just for safety purposes. They felt it was safer to do a c-section to minimize the stress on her body and prevent the possibility of a seizure. She still felt like she was sitting in her OB-GYN’s office, just hearing that she was having twins. It felt like yesterday, the final trimester of her pregnancy moving so fast she barely remembered it. But now, now she’s giving birth and she’s gonna get to hold her precious babies. She closed her eyes and started to recite a prayer. She just wanted her babies to live, anything she’d deal with it as it came but just let her babies make it.

“Ok family, here’s baby number 1. And it is a boy!” The doctor exclaimed.

Robyn’s eyes popped open just as the nurse lifted him above the partition. He wasn’t too big but he wasn’t small either. Chris moved to cut the umbilical cord before the nurse moved the infant over to a waiting cart. The next few minutes felt like hours before the second baby was held up for view. Her skin was already a light caramel color and she looked like she weighed just as much as her brother. Chris cut her cord then followed the nurse as she moved their daughter into her separate cart. Robyn watched as Chris took a few pictures before he removed both pairs of gloves and came back to grasp her hands, “Our babies are beautiful and healthy, Robs. We did it.”

She nodded her head in agreement as Chris kissed her lips. 

They did it!

[geo-winchester]

I got your back (2)

Summary: while Santiago go to get his team back, Yn stay on Colombia but thing get complicated when she has an unexpected visit.

A/N: hi! I know it’s been a long since I post but now I’m an intern on a hospital and sometimes is difficult to write but I write every time I can and I’ll try to post more, I hope you like this!

Warnings: a little smut and swearings.

Part 1

—————————

Yn was sat on the edge of Santiago’s bed as she saw how him fill a suitcase for his trip. After he gave her all the information of Lorea and everything they know about the house they start to made a plan, the first thing they need to do was a recognition mission, look at the place and see al the exits they could use but they cant do it alone, so he text his old team for this mission.

-Are you sure you’ll be fine by your own?- she roll her eyes as she smiled.

-Remember I can beat you on fight, babe- she said with a wink, he nodded but she saw he still was a little distracted, she stand in front of him and took his hand -Hey everything is going to be fine, I can handle myself beside you need someone who cover your informant tracks.

-Fine- he said as he keep packing his cloths.

-you know its been a while since I was here, we always stay at my place...

-That’s because you always complain that you cant find anything in my kitchen- he gave her a quick kiss -or my bathroom- he kiss her again.

-But here I have more choices of your shirts- she said with a wink.

The next day she take him to the airport so he could go to his hometown and convince his friends to join them on the mission as she try to clear everything for the recognition mission, she make a fake trail of her informant and try to found any evidence of what they now but when she didnt found anything her she knew that she was telling the true about Diego. It’s been a couple of days since Santiago was on his hometown and she’s been doing her best to act normal, and she was happy to finally had a day off from the police station but when someone knock at her door she had a bad feeling as she walk to the door, when she opened her door Diego was outside of the apartment she knew something was wrong.

-Puedo pasar? (May I come in)- he asked, she move so he can came in, he scanned the place as he walk -Tienes un lugar muy bonito (You had a nice place)- he said.

-Necesitas algo? (Did you need something)- she stay in her place, when he turn around he had a smirk on his face.

-Tengo que admitir que siempre he pensado que eres bella, pero ahora lo único que puedo pensar es como serás en la cama (I had to admit that i always tough you were pretty, but know the only thing i can think is how you good you are on the bed).

-Disculpa? (Excuse me?)- he start to walk to her and when he was in front of her he brush her cheek, she push him away, he laugh a little.

-Se lo que sucede entre tu y Santiago (I know whats going on between you and Santiago)- he said -Al principio no confiaba en ti por lo que hice que un técnico rastreara tus ubicaciones y escucháramos todo lo que decías en tu celular (At the beginning, so i made a technician follow you and we hear everything you said with you cellphone)- She started to feel her heart race -Santiago es un idiota que no llegara a nada pero yo... yo podría cuidarte, si me dejas (Santiago is an idiot, he would never reach anything... i can take care of you, if you let me)- he try to kiss her but she manage to kick him.

-Get off me- She said -tu nunca serás mejor que Santiago, solo eres un cobarde (you’ll never be like Santiago, you’re just a coward)- he try to punch her but she was faster than him and punch him in the nose.

-Pensé que serias mas inteligente (i thought you’ll be smarter)- he said as he get up -you’re fired, no queremos a alguien de tu clase aquí (we don’t want some of you type here)- he said before he left her alone.

Santiago keep his eyes on Benny’s fight, he look at the other parts of the team as they keep supporting him, some of them were telling him what he should do to win, Tom only applause and whistle at him. Now that they were agreed to go to Colombia everything were according to the plan, he only need to tell them about Yn, he knew they were going to be against her because they don’t know her and because they would think that he wasn’t thinking with his head. After the fight was over they follow Benny to the lockers, they were talking about it when someone called Santiago, he knew for the number that it was from Colombia and only one person knew his personal phone.

-Guys I need to pick this...

-You fall for another informant again, Pope?- Catfish said with a smiled.

-Cállate pendejo- he said as he went to the other side of the room -Yn?

-Santiago!- he could sense the of relief in her voice but at the same time the fear in it.

-Hey, what’s going on, are you ok?

-Yes... No... I don’t know- she said -I got fired...

-What? how does that happened?

-Diego... he try to kiss me... I punch him in the face...

-Hijo de... wait? How do he know where you lived? I thought you didn’t used the apartment they offer you.

-He hack my phone- she said -Santiago, el sabía de nosotros, he could hear everything we said when my phone was close...

-The mission?- he asked, everyone look at Pope at the mention of the mission.

-He don’t know, when we talk about it my phone was on the other room-she sighed -Mierda Santiago, I don’t know what should I do...

-Hey hey, relax, where are you now?

-I’m in the restaurant we use to come...

-Does He know where do I leave?

-No, he didn’t had any interest in you, he though you couldn’t think on your own.

-Go there, you know where the key is and I’ll be there on Thursday- she couldn’t help but laugh.

-Good thing i left some cloths the last time I was there.

-I know you’re going to used my shirts- he said with a smile.

-you weren’t going to used them, anyway-she said making him laugh.

-I’ll see you on Thursday...

-I’ll see you soon, and Santiago... thank you.

-You had nothing to thank me, but please be careful, stay away from Diego.

After the fight everyone stay on the lockers as they look at Santiago, after he finish the call from Yn he saw Tom looking at him with his arms flex across his chest, he didnt say a word but Santiago knew he was going to question about the call. But now that he was stand in front of the team all of them just look at him as he expect him to talk.

-Can anyone tell me what are we doing here?- francisco asked.

-I don’t know, Santiago you had something to say to us?— He stay quiet for a moment -that call sound pretty personal, Santiago, if you fucking the informant this could blow the mission...

-She’s not an informant... she’s my partner, she went to Colombia as an advisor, she was helping me to distract the police’s chief from this trip...

-did you fuck her?- catfish asked him with a smirk, and when he roll his eyes they knew it was true.

-Did she know about the mission?- redfly asked him, he just nod.

-She’s part of the mission...

-What? And when would you going to tell us this, because you ommit this detail on the plans- Tom said.

-This change everything- Will said.

-Look, just give her a change, she’s good in her work and the recognition mission...

-What if she fail? What if one of us get caught because of her or if she put herself in danger?

-She won’t... just please trust me- everyone look at him like if he was crazy.

-If she do something wrong I’m out of here- Tom said, Santiago nod.

Yn was sitting on the copilot beside Santiago as they made their way to Lorea’s House, she could feel how Tom was looking at her from the back seat, even if everyon try to welcome her to the team she knew they don’t trust her, specially Tom, but all her thoughts were gone when Santiago took her hand and wink at her, she didn’t know how he do it but he always help her relax. But the tension in the car start to be heavier as they get closer to the House, Santiago park a little far, so they can’t see them. They gadder around Santiago as he gave them a few things for the mission, he gave them the comms and a few guns for each of them.

-Were in Lorea’s backyard- he said and he look at Yn -Ironhead you’ll go west, Benny go to the north of the house, catfish and...

-You and Yn will go to the East- Tom said, she look at him then to Santiago and when he gave her a little nod, she shrugged before he stand next to catfish.

As they keep walking to the house they could hear the voices from everyone coming from the comms, most of them were from Santiago explaining Lorea’s House, or when they were at their positions. Yn walk close to catfish and she made sure no one follow them, but something make him stop abruptly.

-Pope, I have kids over here, Does he have kids living in here with him?- he said -Cause that’s gonna made a whole lot more complicated, and is not what I signed up for...

-Relax, this is a good thing- Yn said, he look at him confused.

-Yn is right, the family is the answer.

-Why- catfish talk.

-Loera is very devout- she said -every Sunday he sends three guards to the 6:00 am service, when they get back, he sends the rest of the team along with the rest of the family, he stay in the house with another three guards, that’s our window- she said with a smirk.

-Now I got why you like her, Pope, she’s not just pretty, she’s also smart- he said.

-You better look the other way- he said making them laugh.

-Hey mr jealous, here comes your informant- Catfish said, Yn took a look to the girl, she was curious about how she look -Oh man, it seems that your not the only jealous here Pope.

-Cállate- she said rolling her eyes making him laugh.

-God damn- iron head said -I got an execution about to go down, over here.

-Are you at the tennis court?- Pope asked.

-Yeah

-Yeah, that’s his spot- a few seconds later they heard the gunshots.

Yn and Francisco get closer to the house where Santiago’s informant was taking the money out of the truck.

-Why is she doing this?- Catfish asked.

-She hope I can get her little brother out of jail.

-Did you put him in jail?- Benny asked.

-Not really

-Did you put him in jail?- catfish asked Yn.

-It wasn’t my plan but maybe I put the handcuffs.

-Oh you like a girl who can use a handcuffs, eh Pope?

-Can we concentrate on the mission?- iron head asked.

Before they were done with the mission Benny warn them about the movement sensors, and everyone tense when they heard that he didn’t know if he was detected, a few seconds later they hear the sound of the bykes, ironhead was faster and went to him for backup but when he got there the bikes were getting back to the house. They regroup near to the truck, Santiago took Yn’s arm and push her in to a tree before he kiss her deeply, she put her arms around his neck and pull her closer to her, he get away from her lips and start to play with her neck.

-Santi- she whisper -The team is waiting...

-They can’t go with out us- he said and without working he got his hand inside her pants and start to play with her clit, she moan -shit baby, you’re already wet- he said -Did you think about this?- she nod.

-Fuck, Santi- she said -I really miss this...

-You think I didn’t- he said, he insert a finger inside her making her moan and she place her head on his shoulder -After that call the one of things that happen on my mind was you on my bed fucking you all the night...

-Santi- she moan when he insert another finger.

-Or maybe as you touch yourself thinking on my cock... did you do it baby?- he asked.

-Yes- she said and he could feel how close she was.

-Yes what?

-Yes, sir... I touch myself thinking on you... -he start to go faster and deeper- fuck...

-What were you think about?

-You... doing this- she moan again -but my favorite... instead of your fingers it was you cock inside me.

-Fuck baby- he said.

-this feel so good- she said.

-Are you close baby?- she nod -come for me, I want to feel you come on my fingers- she press her head on his shoulder as she try to keep stand when she finally came on his fingers, when she look at him he had a smile on his face, she giggles.

-Sometimes I really hate you- she said.

-But I don’t thinks this is one of those times- he wink.

-Pope, stop making out with your girl and take us to the hotel- Catfish said making them laugh.

-We should go, but we’re not done yet- he said kissing her again.

-Of course we’re not done, we are going to do the handcuffs tonight- she wink, before she start to walk again.

[feely-touchy]

Did I nuzzle the adder softly

Press against its lips

Feel it coiling around my body

Tasting the venom on my kiss

Do I look like I'm in love with this lifestyle

Does it look good

Do I keep up appearances

Does it seem to you like I'm getting better

Looking for a life on the bright side

Darkness and bad eyesight

Silver skies in bad weather

Or do you think it'll be raining on my court date

Will I wake up in a fit

Walk out the door already broken

Swinging on the hinge

Not really on the right track

No clear path back

My back against the wall

No way to make it to the up-and-up

No jump before the fall

I know at least that much

I'm not long for the world of the go-getters

Never having enough "enough is enough"

Enduring the hunger pangs calling me names

My mind made up

Maybe it already drove me over the edge of crazy

Do I seem like the bad company I keep

Is it always inch-by-inch

A crawl in the direction of salvation

Why can't it be a leap

Because I've been kind to the grasshoppers and bullfrogs

Fed the wolves and the sheep

Been to the bottom of the lake to scratch behind the ears of the catfish

Made sure to smile

Tried to stay sweet

But I think I'm starting to feel it too hard

I'm bruising up nicely

Sometimes I feel like I'm living

But only barely

Sarcastically

It's like there's been years of days made up of living nightmares

I've held them in

Cheek-to-cheek

Hoping I can still make it

Even back with the snakes if they'll have me

Even though I've been already chewed up

I'm willing to get stuck in their teeth

But that'd be fine if that's what they wanted

I'd continue sharing myself thin

Make a nest among the feeder mice and roaches

Full of hope

Giving more than I've been given

But I'd always have to wonder

As I'd never get sleep

Is love the act of consumption or the forfeiture

Is this how I'd treat the meek

Because I think I'd rather be a hundred-thousand pin bones

[sebsallowapologist]

Pothos Part: 5

Hi.... so I finally did it, sorry for the weight! Life can be pretty crazy even when you’re inside your own apartment so please be nice! Tell me what you think!

If you would like to read the first four parts of Pothos you can do it HERE.

All of a sudden my hair stood on my arms, my eyes darted around my room so fast that everything was a blur. I had tunnel vision, where was he? My whole body shook and it felt like I was going to throw up my entire stomach. I stumble out of the bed and crash into my nightstand, stumbling forward into my living room, frantically looking for what I knew wasn’t here.

There was no one here, no one standing in the kitchen or sitting on my couch. Why would he be? He didn’t belong here.

Once my eyes confirmed what I knew, I just let myself break. It had taken me years to become something that resembled a functioning human behind and now I was back to square one. Maybe even worse. I grab the wall and slide down, my ass hitting the floor a little harder than what was comfortable. I was fucked. I already knew I would never be normal again, but who was going to help me now? I couldn’t let my dad know I let it happen again, my mother would try to visit and lord knows that would just make me feel worse.

Or hell- maybe I’d made it all up. Maybe I spent last night walking around my apartment in a pretty dress talking to no one. I’m not even sure if that was better or worse.

My lungs start screaming at me- reminding me I needed air to survive. I mean to take in a deep breath which just comes as a gasp, which leads to another gasp, and another, until I’m taking in air and pushing it out faster than my lungs can handle. I must look like an idiot, on the floor of my apartment hyperventilating about a ghost.

I dig my nails into my arm to try and center myself, but it doesn’t work. My mom always told me that if you were in pain to pinch yourself and your brain would get distracted, but my nails weren’t long enough to inflict any real pain, nothing that could rival how my empty chest felt.

My hands went into my hair and pulled at the root, looking for the desired effect until I heard his panicked voice, “Bella?”

My neck snaps up and I see him, I was seeing things again- officially. The angel in my living room looked anxious. “Bella are you alright?” He asks, setting the plastic bag he was carrying on the floor and in an instant he was sitting next to me. I jump out of my skin when his hands are all of a sudden touching my face. “Are you hurt?” He asks and I can’t describe the feeling.

“Bella stop gasping.” He says. I didn’t know I was still doing that. He picks up my hand and places it on the center of my chest. “Deep breath in.” He says and I try to mimic that. His chest pushes out on the inhale and I try to do that. He exhales again and I close my eyes, trying to focus on that. I start breathing normally and a small part of my brain wonders how he’s breathing so deeply so close to me. That had to be a sign this wasn’t real.

My hand curls and brings the light cotton shirt he’s wearing into my fist. “Bella, are you alright?” He asks again and puts his hand on my forehead. “You left?” I ask and he nods. “You didn’t have much in the way of food- and I was going to make you breakfast. I wasn’t gone long.” He says and I nod.

“I thought you left.” I sigh and let his shirt go, dropping my hand. “Oh, Bella.” He breaths and I’m immediately embarrassed. I must look like a toddler who had a temper tantrum. “Sorry.” I mumble and lean on the wall. “Next time text me or something.” I say and he nods. He stays on the floor with me, looking anxious.

I put my hand on the wall to help me up and he follows me, slowly going back to pick up the bag. “You cook?” I ask, trying to move the conversation away from being a fucking mental patient, and he nods. “I watched a video on breakfast while you slept. I’m fairly confident I can follow instructions.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” I smile smalley and walk over to the coffee maker. I had a raging headache from my episode. God- he was going to try and put me in the hospital like Charlie did. I wasn’t doing a great job of trying to convince him to stay.

He puts the bag on the counter and points to my table. “Sit. Relax.” he tells me and there's a smile on his face but his eyes are just- blank. Shut down. I nod and walk to the kitchen table, picking up the TV remote that sat there. I put on some music and turned the volume down just to fill the silence. If it was silent I was going to think about how horribly I’d just behaved.

“What’s the name of this band?”

“What you��d never heard of Catfish and the Bottlemen? What are you? A hundred years old?” I smile, looking over at him, cracking an egg into a bowl. A smile pulls at his lips as he nods his head rhythmically. “About that.”

I smile back. I just sat there, pointing to cabinets while he asked for things like teaspoons and whisks. When my eggs and toast were done he brought the plate over to the table and sat down across from me, waiting patiently for my review.

I pick up the fork and grab the hot sauce that always resided on the table, dabbing some on the eggs before I try them. I chew and swallow- a tad over done but they were really good for a first timer. I smile and nod, “Very good.”

He picks up the bottle of Chalupa and turns it in his hands a few times. “You like spicy now?”

“I do. I have a very mature palette.” I joke and he pops the lid off of the bottle, placing a drop on his finger before putting it on his tongue. “Spicy?”

“It just tastes bad.” He chuckles and I eat some of the toast. He lets me finish my meal before he takes my hand in his and squeezes gently. “You thought I left you this morning? After how amazing last night was?”

“I uh- yeah. I guess I thought I didn’t give you much of a reason to stay or maybe that I made you up- that I’m still making you up.”

“I’m not imaginary, I promise.” He laughs lightly, but theres no humor behind it. “I’m not leaving, I promise you.”

I take my hand out of his and put it in my lap, sitting back in my chair. “I’ll never forgive myself for how I hurt you, I was insensitive and cruel- to both of us.”

“You didn’t want me. How am I supposed to think you want me now with the grey hairs and the laugh lines?” I frown. “You’re not 80, Bella.” he sighs. “And your looks were never why I was with you.”

“Well thanks.” I scoff and his eyes widen a little, “That’s not what I mean- I meant it didn’t matter if you had three heads and a hunch back I wanted to-”

“Kill me.” I smirk and he nods. “Among other things, yes.”

I sigh and push my hair out of my eyes. “This is- emotionally exhausting. I still don’t know why you came back.” I wanted answers but I wasn’t sure which questions to ask. And I wasn’t even really sure if I wanted some of the harsh truths that could be coming my way. “I told you- I could no longer be away from you.”

“So what- we’re dating? We’re what? Where do we go?”

“Well you have a career and a life here, we can be whatever you want to be. I’m done making the decisions. I’m clearly not very good at it.”

“You can say that again.” I mutter and put my head down on the table. What did I even want? Him- Obviously. But I’d written off him coming back years ago, I’d spent my adult life living day to day, thinking about the future as little as possible just to make the present manageable. Now I had options. I wasn’t used to options.

“I have to think.” I sigh and he nods. “I understand that.” He says and I bite my lip, looking up at him. “You really came back for me- and only me?” I ask and he reaches over the table, taking my face in his hands. “Yes.”

His eyes don’t deviate from mine, I swear he’s telling the truth- but I just can’t be sure. I bite my lip and he smiles a little. “You still look like my Bella, trust me.”

***

We move to my couch for the rest of the morning, my back on his chest as he holds me from behind and drills me- with questions on what I’ve been up to. I’m able to sneak in a few about the last few years of his life now and then, but it was hard to focus. I was too busy thinking about my future.

“So what are my options?” I ask during a lull in my interview.

“Options?” He asks and I roll my eyes. “Yeah. For the rest of my life what are my options here?”

“Well anything. You can kick me out and go back to how your life was last week-”

“That's not an option for me.” I interrupt and he chuckles. “Alright then. Well then I could live here with you and just be with you for the rest of your life, or we could go back to my family, or we could fly to Paris tomorrow- it’s whatever you want.”

“Would you take me forever?” I ask and he chuckles. “For as long as you’ll have me, Bella.” He promises, moving my hair over my shoulder, kissing my cheek.”

“Not right now on this couch but- would you change me? In theory.” I ask and turn my head to look up at him. He freezes. “In theory?”

“I’m just trying to understand my expectations.”

“That would be... a discussion.” He sighs and I nod. “Yeah it would be- I just wanted to know if I should think about it.”

“I didn’t know you’d even have to think about it.” His lips move to my neck, placing gentle kisses in his path, trying to distract me. “I mean- it’s a big deal.” I huff and he chuckles. “I know, I just thought the idea of immortality was irresistible to you.”

“I was young and stupid.” I hum. “I thought the idea of living forever was good. But not I’m not so sure.” I sigh. “25 years is already a lot.”

“25 years isn’t that long.” Edward laughs and I roll my eyes. “Well it feels like ages.”

I sigh and reach over to the coffee table, picking up my neglected phone. A text from Charlie, hey bells, you didn’t call me yesterday. Call me please. Giving him my old iPhone 6 was a real treat for the guy but he still only liked talking on the phone once a week. Always about what I was up to, but sometimes I managed to get a few details in about him and Forks.

A text from my co-worker, complaining about our boss.

A few notifications from various social media platforms.

And a text from Mike that was sent to the “Fork LA” group chat which consisted of Anglea and I. I got the Sunday scaries- Umbrella tonight. Thats an order.

“You’re friends with Mike... Newton?” Edward asks and I laugh. He said his name like it was a curse. “Yes. He’s a good hometown pal.” I laugh. “Are you surprised that I have friends?” I ask and he shakes his head. “No, just surprised that one of them is Mike Newton. Doesn’t it get tiring fighting off his advances?”

“No he stopped wanting to fuck me years ago.” I assure him, after one very failed kiss sophomore year of college the whole idea was forgotten. Thank god.

Edward cringes when I curse and I roll my eyes. “Edward you’re going to have to get over me cursing, it’s just apart of my dialect now. You know I read somewhere that people who curse are smarter than those who don’t.”

“So are we going to Umbrella tonight?” He asks and I roll my eyes. “You want to go hang out with Mike and Angela at a bar?”

“Do you want to? I would like to join.” He smiles and I bite my lip. I couldn’t see Edward at a bar. “Do you have a fake ID?”

[virginpornstar]

What I Learned From All Of My Hookups In 2020

I knew 2020 would be less slutty than 2017-2019 due to the fact I wasn’t living in ATL. I still had plans to travel monthly, discover new cities and new men, and be a slut everywhere I go. Covid-19 ruined that. So 2020 was far less slutty than I had anticipated, but I still had a lot of fun this year. We have to roll with the punches, and readjust our plans when the plague strikes. I still learned a lot about myself and my sexual interests with each new penis that entered my body. Here’s what I learned from all of my hookups i n 2020! 

1. GUYS THAT DELETE AND CONSTANTY REMAKE NEW DATING APP PROFILES HAVE MENTAL ISSUES

Hooking up with New Castle started off fun, but then he kept acting weird. I asked him why he’d always delete his Grindr profile then make a new one every other week, then he’d go off on me for asking why. I did realize he’d make profiles advertising himself as a top, then ones as vers, then others as a bottom. A clear sign the man didn’t even know what he wants. We had some good times until he started acting crazy, and then randomly blocking men when I couldn’t hookup. 

2. GUYS TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY NOW THAT I’VE LIVED IN ATL

Left Tackle and I had been hooking up off and on since 2016. Yet suddenly in 2020 he wanted to start acting differently, like he’s too good for me. Um what? He also acted grossed out and disgusted after following all my ATL sexual adventures, and I think he started to think I was tainted after reading about me hooking up with a poz guy while on vacation. Oh well. Fuck buddies aren’t meant to last forever. I will not have a guy treating me like he’s too good for me, when in fact I’ve always been too good for him. 

3. I NEED TO STOP HOOKING UP THE NIGHT BEFORE VACATION

I noticed a pattern of when I’m supposed to have a slutty vacation weekend I end up hooking up the night before I leave. Which either makes me dickmatized and not horny on the trip, or I get my hole ripped and then I can’t even fully enjoy hooking up while away. I’m still gonna fuck, just not as much or as enjoyably if I hadn’t gotten fucked the night before. I still enjoyed my encounter with Big D, even if he did rip me. 

4. I CAN’T STAND VIRGOS

Philly Jawn and I had been following each other online and flirting here and there for years. Then when I was staying the weekend in Philly he and I finally made up. it started off well at first, and we even fucked, only for him to act distant and start ghosting me afterwards. Fuck that nigga. I can’t stand Virgo men since they always do this distant shit, and are terrible communicators. If you’re not interested then say so. Don’t waste my fucking time. 

5. FORT LAUDERDALE WAS MORE FUN THAN MIAMI

Miami was my last vacation before Covid-19 plagued the earth. It’s also the last time I flew anywhere. I was so excited to hookup with all these hot Miami men, yet somehow Fort Lauderdale was way better than Miami. The bathhouse was definitely far superior in Fort Lauderdale than Miami at least, and I had way more fun hooking up with guys there than the bathhouse in Miami. 

6. MIAMI IS TO LATINO GAYS WHAT ATL IS TO BLACK GAYS

I hooked up with so many latino men in Miami/Fort Lauderdale. They are the dominant population. It made me nostalgic for my younger years. I didn’t really get with many latinos in ATL, since black men rule that city. I had many latino lovers in the past, so it made me a little nostalgic. Sometimes a latin lover is all you need to give you great vacation sex. 

7. I’M STILL NOT POZ FRIENDLY BUT MAKING PROGRESS

Miami has long been the biggest HiV hot spot in America. Their infection rates are far worse than Atlanta. So it did seem a bit fitting to hookup with a poz guy for the first time while in the HIV capital. When in Rome...granted I only hooked up with him because he was the only cute guy at the bathhouse at the time. If there was anyone more appealing, I wouldn’t have settled for a poz guy. I also wasn’t comfortable enough to do anal, but it’s still progress to have hooked up with a poz guy without penetration. 

8. THE PHILLY BATHHOUSE WAS MORE FUN THAN I EXPECTED

I love checking out the bathhouses in every city I travel to. I didn’t have high expectations for the Philly bathhouse since I knew there wasn’t going to be a pool or hot tub, and those are my favorrite amenities at bathhouses. Yet surprisingly the Philly bathhouse was poppin, and I went on a Wednesday afternoon. It was very diverse, and although I didn’t fuck anyone, I still had a good time. 

9. IT’S FUN TOPPING SOMEONE’S DAD

I always thought it was hot hooking up with a dick that’s created life. I hooked up with this DL divorced father of 2, he was young and around my age, but still hot knowing he had kids. I topped him, and then he became my plug. I do miss the weed provided more than I miss him. 

10. I DON’T MISS THE BUMS IN THE SOUTH

My northern hookups have come bearing gifts. Weed, money, etc...I don’t miss the bums in Atlanta always begging for handouts. Asking for money, transportation, asking for shit. I’ve had so many guys give me shit without even asking like my DL Latino lover. Maybe I should remain in the north, although ATL keeps calling my name. 

11. WHITE MEN LOVE BLOWJOBS

One thing I miss about Atlanta is the men there loved to fuck. Being in the suburbs with mostly old white men and DL guys I’ve realized most of them just want head. I used to be oral only, until I got on PrEP and lost a relationship to never wanting to fuck. So now I love to fuck, but keep encountering guys, like Mushroom Man, where all they want to do is get their dick sucked. Sorry, oral only isn’t enough for me to have a good time. 

12. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CATFISH A GUY TO GET THE DICK THAT GHOSTED YOU

Chubby Chaster and I spent hours talking one night on Grindr, then he started ignoring me the next day. Oh hell no! I will not be ignored. I got into the whole anonymous profile thing briefly after my friend encouraged me, and weirdly so many guys are into that. I did end up getting Chubby Chaser to come over, and I kenw as soon as he saw me he must’ve been pissed to realize it was me. Oh well. I still made him cum. 

13. WAY TOO MANY DL BOTTOMS IN THE SUBURBS

When I think of DL guys, at least the ones that turn me on, I think of guys with girlfriends/wives that are masc men you’d never be able to tell fuck guys on the DL. They’re also tops. Yet somehow all the DL guys with wives/girlfriends/baby mamas where I am now seem to all be bottoms. WTF! How can you fuck your girlfriend’s pussy, but somehow can’t use your dick to fuck a guy’s ass? Yet you want to let guys fuck you in the ass? That’s not fun for me. I top like once or twice a year, yet hooked up with so many DL bottoms this year. 

14. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Gorilla and I have hooked up off and on for years. He’s a Scorpio too, and we never get along. Yet the sex is good. He’s been in an off/on relationshp for years, and seems to only hit me up whenever they’re off. Yet we fucked, then suddenly he started being distant afterwards, and then posting his man on social media. Ugh. I can’t stand that shit. I’ve been in that shit where I fuck new guys whenever my ex and I were off, and then when we’re on again ignore the new guys. I hate that cycle, and it’s not fair to the new people I got involved with. So I hate getting involved in that cycle in other people’s relationships since I wanted consistent dick. 

15. NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU’LL MEET YOUR FUTURE SUGAR DADDY

I kinda only hooked up with Gasolina because i’d not had dick in months. I was a little desperate. I wasn’t that attracted to his pics, but he had a big dick, and I’m glad we did end up hooking up. Since he turned into my sugar daddy and I had many fun times this summer with him. 

16. INVITING OVER A THIRD CAN SALVAGE A TERRIBLE HOOKUP

Panty Man got on my damn nerves. We rented a hotel together for the night, even though we barely knew each other and had only texted/talked on a dating app before. I knew as soon as we began talking, this wasn’t going to work, but I didn’t feel like leaving since I paid for half. I invited over New Castle, and then things turned into a threesome. They didn’t touch each other, but both fucked me. I had a good time, because I invited over another guy. I wouldn’t recommend inviting over a third to salvage terrible sex with your boyfriend, but it works for random hookups. 

17. I LIKE CORRUPTING GOOD BOYS

I knew Rocky and I didn’t have any long term potential. He lived too far for me, and his health issues were something I don’t think I could deal with. But we still had some nice times together. He was such a good church boy so I had fun getting him to drink, try edibles, and even wanted him to try poppers. I love introducing men to new things. 

18. I DON’T THINK I’LL EVER DATE A WHITE MAN AGAIN

It’s crazy to think I wasn’t even really attracted to black men until 4 years ago, and now I don’t see myself getting serious with any man that isn’t black. Farmer J was the last white boy I went out with/hooked up with, and he will hopefully be the last for the foreseeable future. I’ve had great encounters with white men before, but I never came close to an actual relationship with a white guy. Now after the ignorant comments Farmer J said, and it’s a lot of the ignorance that comes with dating a white man that is attracted to black people, but knows nothing about black people. His offensive comments that he never would’ve realized are offensive, and his voting history were a complete deal breaker for me. Completely reminded me why once you go black, you never go back. 

19. GUYS ACT SKEPTICAL ABOUT FILMING YOUR SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS THEN GET SUPER INTO ONCE THE CAMERA IS ON

I saw The Reverend again for the first time in 4 years. I wanted to record more content for my OnlyFans. I knew he’d be skeptical due to the nature of his career, but I have masks and know what I’m doing. I’m surprised how into he got when the camera was on. I always turn my tops into the director since I’m too high on poppers to worry about angles, but it was a fun time. We got some really good footage for my channel. 

20. A RANDOM HOOKUP CAN LEAD TO A RELATIONSHIP

Before BMore Bae entered my life I wasn’t looking for love. I had just launched my OnlyFans, wanted to record content, make money, enjoy life, save up before moving to ATL, and then boom. He comes over, he’s cuter than expected, and I caught feelings. I caught feelings fast. It’s been an roller coaster, but it’s so true. Love enters your life when you least expect it. I’m so glad it did. We’ve already made so many beautiful memories together, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us. 

[bisluthq]

I’m 18 and I would have much rather had my 13/14/15 yr old self reading this blog than what I was actually doing, which was catfishing men on the internet for money. I got so deep in it I was like a professional but at the time I didn’t realize how fucked up that was but also I have no regrets about scamming pervy men. None at all. Anyways, I guess my point is that the internet is a crazy place, but I think your blog sets a good example even/especially with all the sex stuff.

YOU DID WHAT!???

That’s so much more iconic than what I did lol I pretended to be a college student to be kewl in InvisionFree RP forum land and on like Tumblr as well.

But yes I think the internet is a weird place, I am well aware kids and especially marginalized kids are on it, I am well aware those kids read this blog, and again I really try my best to positive role model and it pleases me that comes across.

Someone spoke about my “agenda” and if I have one that’s fucking it: make people - especially marginalized kids although this blog will never be directed “at” them because I’m a dumb journo not like a self-help writer for teens but lbr they’re not gonna read that shit anyway - feel comfortable and safe and normal. Make people feel heard and seen.

Like again that’s what fucking pissed me off so much with all the Forever Kaylor stuff. Like adults who are dumb delusional assholes can be dumb delusional assholes fucked if I care. You’re always gonna have tinhats.

But a HUGE amount of Kays and tbh Larries aren’t those tinhats. It’s young queer kids getting mindfucked by dumb delusional assholes while being mocked by fandom at large and specifically “antis”. And that’s just not okay in my book.

When this blog started taking off - I think post the first TTB notice lol because that’s when it went from like haha this is some dumb thing I do sometimes to a key/central part of my day - I felt like that opening bit in Taken where he’s all, “I have a very special set of skills and I’m gonna fuck u up” basically. Like ya maybe I do have an agenda. It’s to make the internet, or at least a small corner, safer and more positive and to do good in a way that I’m pretty sure I am kinda weirdly uniquely equipped to do.

You guys, I was having a REALLY BIG EXISTENTIAL CRISIS from like April last year for a raaaange of reasons. I was like “everything is stupid and it’s all meaningless and nothing makes any sense and everyone and everything is fucked and I can’t do anything about it so may as well get fucked up drunk by myself and ring the devil’s doorbell and then cry” and like fighting with racists on the internet for shits and gigs about BLM.

And somehow this blog came into my life and it might sound stupid - and it probably is lmao like I know I’m not changing the world I’m not delulu - but if I can make a couple hundred marginalized people feel really good about themselves, I’m having a net positive impact on the world you know? And it does feel like all the weird batty shit I’ve done equipped me with the skills to same as Liam Neeson.

So like I know it’s a really special place for many of you but just know that 1) I can only do it with y’all so thank you for giving me this platform and 2) it’s a really special place for me too and it deadass helped me solve my existential crisis.

Sorry to have derailed your ask btw.

And again WHAT THE FUCK lmao.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Death Of A Hero (The Less I Know The Better, Part 2.) (Peter Parker's iPod, Part 14.)

Series description: Blip was hard. Dating MJ was a pleasure in Parker’s life, so it was even harder when she told him that things aren’t working as she anticipated - one month before college. Although they remained friends. But Peter isn’t too sure if he can handle liking yet another girl.

Part Summary: There was a night you've seen through all the Spider-Man's magic. But it wasn't what you've expected. Who would expected to be lied to in the end?

A/N: I knew that this is coming... That's why I've been hesitant with writing this chapter for such a long time. I'm so sorry. 💔 Fun fact: I used the same song as inspiration when I was working on my OG Avengers series in my language when I was going back to Tony Stark’s funeral. 

Word count:  2.4K

Tagging: @fanboyswhereare-you, @lukesbabylon, @eridanuswave​, @underoosjae​

Master list: H E R E

GIF SOURCE

You can’t look away from a train wreck, that’s how the saying goes, right? Something like that it was. And you had a feeling that your life is one big train wreck or that something like destiny is playing one big sick game on you because such a twist was unexpected.

Peter Parker, the boy who wore only old clothes, t-shirts with nerdy puns, that someone who was into putting together Lego sets, comic book reader... He was supposed to be Spider-Man. The mysterious cool guy who was swinging through New York on his webs, he was fighting off the forces of evil and he was keeping you safe. Your Peter was supposed to be that guy. For a second, you thought that maybe you were falling in love with both of them. Sometimes, the affection for Peter was stronger and when you were Spider-Man, you couldn't think about anyone else. And when these two worlds collided, you couldn't understand what in the world is even happening.

Until confusion turned to anger that was eating you alive every time you saw his dumb face. You and Peter weren't talking for more than two weeks until the finals ended since you wanted to concentrate on your finals. The boy didn't know that you finally figured him out, so he was worried that has done something as Peter that you couldn't simply look away from. In the nights when he wanted to ask about it as the other guy, your window was locked from the inside and when you heard him landing on the rusty escape staircase, you pretended that you're dead asleep.

You allowed him one last visit before you were about to drive to your home in the countryside. Since you and Peter hadn't spoken about two weeks at that time, he had no idea about your plans for the holiday. He was simply happy that you both finished the first year of college and since he was that kind of a boyfriend who never missed an occasion for a flower and dinner, he brought it to you. Italian lasagna and some roses hanging from the outside as he held it for you, himself having a smile on his lips.

Tame Impala was playing through the room and you were just finishing some work on your laptop. - "Come in." - A cold mumble could be heard as you continued with writing. Normally, you'd stand up with a smile and took the things out of his palms, giving him a warm kiss afterward. Yet that day, something was in the air. Something had changed and Peter felt it. And as he watched you working with a murderous look in your face, he knew that this is going to be bad.

"Hey, stop working, and let's celebrate. You seem to be tired." - He whispered and tried to smooth your palm. But as you felt his fingers lingering on the fabric of your shirt, you jolted and looked at him with a face full of disgust. Yeah, something was off. - "Okay then, I won't be touching you. Just... Eat something, I guess." - Peter walked to the desk and opened up the lasagna for you. Somehow, he felt your stare on his back and it was extremely uncomfortable. He tried to smile at you while he put it next to your thigh only to meet with another murderous stare.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me why have you done all of this." - You asked calmly. At that, Peter's heart stopped. MJ knew that he's in your room and she promised you that she’ll take Betty out for dinner so you would have the whole flat for yourself to scream at each other.

"I-I think that I don't know what you're talking about." - Peter got out wish noticeable stuttering, having you chuckling and shaking your head. You had about enough with Peter. When you looked at the boy, you couldn't see someone who knew how to make your laugh. It wasn’t the boy who always told you that you're looking cute. It wasn’t even your friend who you kissed on the trip.

All you could see was a liar. His moves screamed the word, his lips were telling the lies and his whole personality? A hollow fake built for your liking. With one move, you closed the laptop and put it away, licking your lips slowly. Without sparing him a look, you walked to the iPod, having Tame Impala screaming on a loop.

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, Peter." - You told him, just standing there and looking him in the eyes with your palms over your chest. - "It took me a long time, yeah, but it made you feel good, am I right? You were all about lying to me that when you successfully catfished me, you were excited. Now you know that this works and you can fuck with any girl you'll choose as your future victim."

At that moment, you took the mask off, tearing it off his head so you could look him in the eyes. You loved that human being just weeks back and at that moment, the only thing you wanted was to throw up. What has he done was disgusting, immature, and... Suddenly you got the feeling that you might not be the only one who Peter tried to seduce this way.

"And for Christ's sake, turn on your normal voice, I'm sick of you fucking with me." - A disgusted mumble came out again as you rolled your eyes and threw the mask to his feet, walking away. Of course, you wanted to see him suffer that evening. It wasnt nice of you, it wasnt, but that was the way it was. You weren't giving Peter a single shit for free. You put tight shorts on so your ass would look just splendid and the top itself wasn’t covering you either, showing him that bra you had on... When that one night happened.  

"I-I swear I can explain, Y/N. Just don't be mad, p-please. I beg you." - The boy ran after you when you poured yourself a glass of cold water, doing exactly what you wanted.

"I want to hear why did you do all of this shit and why did you choose me as your practice target, Peter. That's all the explanation I want and what you owe me." - You walked to stand in front of him, having your dinner table between you and him.

"Look at you." - Was all the boy answered as his fingers played with the spandex mask. His cheeks reddened while his eyes got teary. Jesus, Peter was never scared as he was at that moment, at that kitchen, with you looking at him. You did as he told you, giving him raised eyebrows. - "How... How would someone like so lucky that they would get to date a girl like you? And trust me, I was never good with girls, whether you look back at Liz or when you ask MJ..." - Now he was mumbling, looking into the ground in front of his feet.

"And ever since February, I started to notice that I, really, really liked you. And I... I was... I was just so scared that you would never date me for me, I wanted to meet you like the other guy and tell when the time’s right." - Peter tried to explain the best he could, having you silent for a long while. That was when you started to laugh cold-heartedly.

"And when would the right time come? A month from now, half a year, a year? Did you enjoy seeing me waiting for you almost every night, not having any other guy on my mind? I could have a boyfriend by now, Peter, there was a lot of boys asking me out in the last few months, did you know that? But instead of that, I wanted to be with you and... Not with Spider-Man. I felt this subtle click between me and you... Months ago. And when we have done some stuff together, I was wowed. I thought to myself that you're the guy. And when I kissed you on the farm, I felt it too. And not for your ass dressed in spandex. I felt it for you, Peter." - You pointed at him, not finishing just yet. - "Of course, you can say I was into Spider-Man since I didn't see through the whole mascarade, yet for me, it wasnt about the hero or the suit. It was about the boy under it. I saw only the boy whose father figure got shot. About the boy who liked my sushi. For fuck's sake, I fell for the boy who danced with me on the rooftop, who was funny, charming, and smart." - You breathed out with disappointment, taking another sip of the water.

"And I don't know if you realize that, but I'm talking about you and your personality. The whole time, you've been giving the best out of yourself just for me to realize... It was a game. It wasn’t real." - You looked him in the eyes, seeing first tear slipping out of his eye. You’ve been crying too. You weren't the hero who would get hurt and wouldn't cry. MJ was with you the whole time, hugging you, smoothing your hair, and kissing the top of your head to have you feeling safe for a while. At that time, you were just hurt. At that moment, you were mad at the boy, feeling nothing but the hatred that needed to go out of your head and mouth. Otherwise, you'd go crazy.

"It was everything for me, Y/N. You were the only thing I could think about in the last two months. I was leaving the iPod on purpose for you to listen to it, because every time you found a new song, you were so happy. I was doing all of this just to see you happy." - Peter begged quietly, coming closer to you. When the boy was about to touch you again, you bolted to get out of his range again.

"Don't cry, Peter. If you'd told me, this conversation didn't have to happen at all. You're a man, so pull yourself together. I don't mean to go harsh on you, not at all, but you hurt me like a living fuck." - You said simply, walking back to your room, listening to the song once again. That was when he noticed how empty the room was. There were only two big suitcases in the middle of the room.

"Are you moving out? Be-because of what I've done?" - Peter got out of himself with stuttering. He was unable to stop the tears falling out of his eyes when he followed you through the flat.

"No. I'll back here in fall, but I need to get away from this place. And I would appreciate it if you'd leave now. Take the food, the flowers, and go home. Don't text me, don't call me, don't send me memes and kick me all of the text messages groups I'm in with you."

At that moment, Peter slowly felt his body melting into the wooden floor of your room. The world was spinning too fast for his liking, the colors were fading away as he watched you packing the food back without even touching it. You told him that you don't want to be in contact with him anymore. Slowly, his brain started to realize how much he fucked up, no matter how innocent his intentions originally were. Less I Know The Better Suddenly got a completely new meaning for him. At that moment, he was sure he won't stop crying that evening. Gently, he put the mask, packing his food into a plastic bag. - "And you should try your luck with that girl from physics. You seem to be getting along." - Was the last thing you told him, which was surely the metaphorical dagger in his back.

For a reason, you felt that it’s right and wrong at the same time. Seeing him leaving while he was broken was not making you happy at all, but... He got what he deserved. You couldn't just say whatever and close your eyes about being lied to for the last past three months. You still had feelings for him, obviously, but you hoped that these will go away soon enough.

"I just want you to know... Even if it ended how it ended... I think I love you." - Peter said before he jumped out, disappearing into the night, leaving you with a sigh on your lips and tears in your eyes. Why did he tell you such a thing? What the fuck were you supposed to do with it?

Because you did love him too, yet you weren't sure about forgiving... Not just yet.

As soon as Peter arrived home from a quick patrol, he barricaded in his room. This time, he locked himself in and sat on his bed, leaving the spandex on. May tried to get in, but after Peter asking her to leave, she left him alone. Not even ten minutes from that, Ned was calling Peter.

"Hey, buddy, it's going to be alright." - Ned said as soon as he heard the first sob. Peter... Was such an amazing guy. He was smart, brave, but still sensitive. Ned liked his best friend for that - but just as he was smart, he was utterly dumb in some things. Peter didn't tell him a word.

"But... We told you that this is how it's going to end. She already got out of all the text groups we had, she doesn't follow you on Instagram... MJ told me you were there today and that she knew it." - Ned whispered. He was, naturally, sad as well. You were both his best friends. And it just didn't feel good, seeing his friends parting their ways.

"This is not what I need now, Ned." - Peter got out as he laid down with sobs.

[hudsteith]

35😊

It got longer than I imagined, sorry x.x haksjakajskaj

35. Catfish

John hates date apps. He's an old-fashioned kind of guy, he'd rather meet a person in a shop or having a mutual friend to introduce them. But his best friend Freddie said he's too naive to think that people still do that at these days.

''If someone approachs me in a shop, I'll think is a stalker, or worse, a serial killer.'' Freddie said, dramatically, when the brunet didn't know if he's being sincere or not.

So he gave a try on a date app, but he promised use it only for a month. He didn't want to give up in destiny that easily.

He chatted with very interesting people, and met up with a couple of them, but the talk seemed flat and always leading to a sexual meaning. John wasn't a prude, he liked sex, but it's not like that.

And John found a very interesting profile of a man named Roger. He got fascinated for the blond man with sparkly blue eyes and charming smile. They matched and started to talk.

Roger was funny, smart and incredible good with flirting. John sincerely blushed some times while he talked with the man. And when Freddie saw the reason of John's lately giggles, the older man gasped with the photos.

''If you don't get him, I will, Deaky.'' Declared Freddie.

And they settle a date, in a pub that John actually liked downtown. He was a bit nervous; it's the first person he actually felt hope of something else in that app. They clicked immediatly and as sappy as it sounds, John even dreamed with the blond man in the day before the date.

John arrived in the pub, and there's a lot of people in there. He saw a rock band would play there tonight, and he smiled.

He looked around and found Roger, sitting in the bar, drinking a beer. Avoiding the shaking on the belly, the brunet walked until the other, breathing heavily.

When John stopped next to Roger, the blond looked at him, up and down, and seemed that he liked what he saw.

''Hi. It's me, John.'' He felt stupid saying this.

''Hi. It's me, Roger.'' Smiled Roger, turning around and taking a sip of his beer.

''So...Do you like to come here often?''

''Well, I play sometimes here, so I kinda need to come here.''

''Oh, Smile, right?'' John remembered he mentioned the band once or twice.

But he didn't remember he saying he'd play tonight.

''Yeah. Did you saw us some time?'' The blond looked interested now.

''Well, no, but I hope I see today, Roger. See if you're the amazing drummer you claim to be.''

Roger frowned, even that he gave John a smile. ''Well, I'm a good drummer, but I don't recall saying this to you.''

''You did. Last night.''

The drummer got more confused. ''I don't think so. I never talked with you before, mate.''

John got nervous suddenly. ''What do you mean? We' ve been chatting for two weeks.''

Roger giggled against his beer. ''Sorry, mate, but whoever you talked to it wasn't me. Seems you were catfished.''

The brunet felt his cheeks getting red. He couldn't believe he was deluded by someone online, who's probably just doing this for the pure pleasure of messing with someone's heart. John was now ashamed; he's an adult man, he should know better. And, fuck, he talked with a stranger like they knew each other! He never did that!

Now Roger must thought he's stupid, or a creep.

''Oh, Christ.'' John chanted, his voice shaking with embarassment. ''I'm so sorry. I'm dumb enough to think that someone like you could...It doesn't matter. Sorry for bothering you, mate.''

Sensing what John almost said, Roger grabbed his arm and commented ''To be honest, I talked with you now because I thought you're cute, so I let it go forward.'' and then Roger's expression got confused again. ''Hang on...If it's a catfish, how this person knows that I'm a drummer?''

John shrugged, now thinking it's odd that someone that stole Roger's identity could know about this. And to even get the right name. What kind of catfish is this?

''Do you mind if I see the profile?'' Asked Roger, looking truly curious.

John blushed again, but he took his phone and put on the date app. He clicked at Roger's profile and showed to him.

A smile soon appeared at the drummer's face. John noticed that it's prettier in real life than virtually.

''I know who did this.'' Said Roger, with a grin. ''That bastard.'' And when John blinked at him, Roger continued ''I have a very noisy best friend called Brian, and he always finished his texts putting his own nickname, just like he did in this profile.'' Roger shook his name, still amused. ''I said to him I was ready to date again, because I broke up with my ex some months ago. And it seems he wanted to find someone to me before myself.''

John gave a nervous laugh. It's the craziest story. Freddie would laugh loudly with it.

''Well, since my date blowed, I guess I'll get back home.'' John gave Roger a tiny smile, still too shocked with the whole story.

''Wait.'' He heard Roger speaking again. Looking to the blond, he was blushing. ''Brian is my best friend, and knows me very well, so...if he matched with you, he really thought we'd get along.''

John was really hearing what he thought he's hearing?

''So...If you want to try, we can talk after the gig.'' Roger bit his own lip. ''What do you say?''

John didn't think it's a good idea, with this whole crazy story behind. And then he realized Roger slided his hand to rest it above John's. And they're like this for more than ten minutes.

''Only if Brian come to apologize to me.'' Said John, soften after seeing Roger smirking.

''You're lucky, John, because he happens to be Smile's guitar player. I'd probably kill him if I wasn't with the good feeling he got it right with you.'' Roger winked before he got into the crowd to call his friend.

John took his phone again and decided to text Freddie. He'd definetly freak out.

[anthony-louis-johnson]

Last night, I was talking to Jacob about schools and how all schools are basically ghetto. He sent a meme on the group chat, that’s when I started to agree with the point he made about schools because I have experienced 800% of the ghetto both in elementary and high school. Kids causing the havocs just like the other adults we idolize on purpose.

Somehow, it’s feels crazy but amicable after we graduated from all that. I almost forget the fact that I compared all schools to eternal life, and I even wrote down the same expression in technology class using Microsoft Paint. But also, no matter how we survived the ghetto (or the hood), a.k.a schools, half of us are still gonna end up walking the same weirdo path. I feel like I want out of the misguided paths the ratchet kids be following because my worst irrational fear is becoming one with rachet people — Well, not only that cause it took me years to admit that I was also acting a fool, cussing, got introduced to weirdo havocs (on purpose), got suspended, and even worse, catfished. But I felt amazed maturing from that cause I don’t know I’m wrong. And like I said, my worst fear is idolizing ghetto kids and copying them. Life after school is weird so I did so much to expressing alll of my growing pains and wanting to heal myself by just having radical fun.

I’m always down to address all schools, teachers, students and both sides of the schools. Even addressing every board of education and school system, and sometimes hoping to figure out how we’re supposed heal all sides of schools. To keep it 3500 with you, I wasn’t really worrying about these kids turning schools into thug environment. Yes, I said it. In my world was and still gonna be a few sides of schools:

• The Ghetto Side

• The Hood Side

• The Trap Side

• The Ratchet Side

• The Raunchy Side

• Catfishing Mentaliy

• Prison Mentality

Y’know, so much of my honest experiences I see going on in school. I’m grateful that I wasn’t actually into any of that in 12th grade. I have my darkest school memories, but this time, I’m not gonna expose too much details. I listed all the effects in schools because some so called “cool kids” we do anything crazily just to escape the educational system.

[hemmoangel]

“Twitch Thot Luke” pt 2.

Word Count: 2,086

Warnings: SMUT BABY

A/N: I REALLY want to make this a series so...enjoy

——————————————————————————

Michael told Luke he was crazy for agreeing to meet with a patron, and so what if there was a high possibility of Ashton being a catfish? Luke wanted someone to say those wonderful things to him in person. In fact, the whole reason he had created his Twitch was because he felt lonely. Michael had a boyfriend, and he was always busy going on dates. But Luke had no one except the old guys who sent him money for showing his body.

He wore a soft, blue sweater and jeans that hugged his body nicely, and he waited at a back table with his flat white in hand. He hoped Ashton would recognize him. His hair wasn’t pulled up in the usual bun. It was down and cradled his soft face.

Luke had been in the coffee shop for thirty minutes; his palms were sweating with worry. Maybe Ashton ditched him? Maybe it was all in his head, and he was insane? He stayed at the table though, watching the door open and close with new customers.

Luke shifted uncomfortably and played with the strings on his sweater. He checked his phone to see if Ashton had sent him a Snapchat. He had no luck, only a thousand likes on his new post and a few texts from Michael.

From Mikey:

If you die, I’ll have to throw a funeral!

From Mikey:

Be safe! Plz!

Luke sighed and went to respond to Michael when he heard a sweet, melodic voice.

“A flat white for Ashton, please.”

It was soft and almost different to the one on the phone last night, but Ashton was just as ruggedly handsome. His black curls were softer, and his lips were pouty and kissable. Luke liked the way he dressed too. He looked like a musician: leather jacket, worn t-shirt, and black pants suited the image Luke had for him. Luke felt his knees quiver when he stood up, and he might have fallen in love when their eyes met.

“Ashton?” Luke asked with a small smile.

“Luke.” He answered, giving him a smile back.

“Come sit here,” He motioned to the lonely table in the back. Ashton got his drink and quickly walked over.

“Wow, Luke. You’re even more beautiful in person...” Ashton said immediately. He had no filter. Luke assumed that men who liked him didn’t need one.

“Thank you,” Luke blushed. “You like flat whites too?”

“I do,” Ashton made an awful lot of eye contact. It gave Luke heart palpitations.

“I...um...no one’s ever spoken to me the way you do. It’s as if you know me so well for a stranger,” Luke’s fingers twitched to touch the large hand across from his own.

“I’ve watched all of your videos, Luke. I have dreamed of meeting you since I saw you. You are the perfect boy. So sweet and gentle...pretty eyes and lips. And baby, that ass of yours...sorry to be crass, but—“ Ashton sighed, laughing a little at Luke’s little grin. “Yeah, you know you’re pretty. Don’t you?”

Luke gushed, “Not in the way you say it,” He giggled.

“Well, yeah. You’re also such a tease...” Ashton mumbled.

“I don’t mean to be. I have to make money somehow!” They spoke as if they had known each other forever.

“If you were mine, money wouldn’t be a problem, bunny.” Ashton reached out and caressed Luke’s cheek. Luke leaned into it.

“Bunny,” He giggled in an Ashton-trance. “I made my Twitch kind of in search of a boyfriend.”

“Nobody else could do what I plan to do to you,” Ashton assured. Luke bit his lip.

“Mmm what? You wouldn’t tell me last night...” Luke blushed across his nose.

“I’ll give you a hint: pillow prince.” Ashton smirked. Luke melted and leaned closer to Ashton subconsciously.

“Oh, please,” He whimpered.

“You’re too easily flustered. Wow.” Ashton smirked.

Luke nodded in response and looked at Ashton, biting his pretty lip. Ashton pulled it from his teeth instantly. “I’m gonna stop that little habit right now unless you want me to fuck you in a public restroom.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” Luke explained. “I need someone to take care of me. My friend Michael said I might get murdered, but I knew in my heart you were different. You were my Twitch miracle.”

“You’re cute and sweet. That’s like a trap,” Ashton laughed softly.

“Hopefully it works,” Luke winked.

They finished their drinks with continuous flirting, and Luke ended up caressing Ashton’s leg with his foot. Luke could tell that Ashton pretended not to notice it, but when they were outside he immediately held Luke’s waist.

“Is this alright with you?” He smirked.

Luke nodded rapidly.

Ashton held him to his side. “How’d you get here?”

“Taxi,” Luke said, in that dazed voice again.

“Let’s go to your place,” Ashton whispered.

“Yeah, my place,” Luke giggled.

So, Luke gave Ashton his address, and Ashton drove him there. He was pleased to find Luke’s room as twinky as he always imagined. The infamous pink PC and gaming area were set up to the far right by the window, and the kitten ear headphones were propped nicely on their stand. The whole room was illuminated by the rainbow lighting coming from the system; it gave a beautiful ambiance.

To the left was the bed Luke sometimes had chats in. It was littered with stuffed animals and pastel colored sheets. Luke’s clothes were everywhere too; it made the place looked lived in and realistic.

“Yep. This is a Twitch babe’s room.” Ashton took off his jacket. “I remember that from when you first started the Overwatch series!”

“I dressed up like DVA,” Luke winked. “The costume was so tight.”

“No need to remind me. I was watching the whole time,” Ashton sat on the bed slowly.

Luke sat beside him. “Thank you for all the money you gave me...” He hugged him. “I’m just a lonely broke boy.”

“Of course, baby. You captivated me. I only want to please you,” Ashton whispered to him. Luke could tell that Ashton was really shy; he wanted him to open up like he had online.

“Sorry for all the panties everywhere,” Luke blushed at his laundry-covered floor.

“I like them. Especially...” He reached to pick over a small red thong. “This one.”

“You like red a lot, hmm?” Luke moved closer to Ashton.

“On you,” Ashton responded by putting Luke in his lap. Luke gasped.

“Think of all the men you’d make jealous if they saw you while I was streaming,” Luke blushed.

“That’d turn me on. I’d want everyone to know I’m fucking the hottest little Twitch thot out there,” Ashton said in a growl.

Luke bit his lip and looked up at Ashton with doe eyes.

Ashton responded with a smack to his bum. “No biting that lip, Lu. Trying to keep my cool.”

Luke whined and let his eyes flutter shut in response.

“I want us to be real,” Luke whimpered. “I want to be your sugar baby like we promised last night. I know we’ve only just met, but I—like the way make me feel.”

“Okay then. Deal. And we can get to know each other, and you’re only allowed to show me everything. You can continue Twitch as you do, but no secret Patreons or I’ll leave you high and dry.”

“You’re the only one who gets my nudes,” Luke promised. Ashton hummed in satisfaction and gripped Luke’s bum through his jeans.

“Christ, baby. And you’ve never had sex before?” Ashton bit his lip.

“No, but I’m not completely closed off...” Luke blushed.

“Meaning?”

“I finger myself,” Luke whispered. Ashton pressed kisses to his neck and huffed.

“Where was that livestream?” Ashton unbuttoned Luke’s pants and pulled them down his milky thighs. He sighed at the expanse of fleshy skin and smacked Luke’s bum again.

“Daddy,” Luke answered and turned around for Ashton to see his bum. “Am I pretty?”

“God, you’re more than just pretty, angel.” Ashton kissed the flesh of his bum and played with the fabric of his soft, pink panties. “I want eat you out. Can I?”

“Please!” Luke let out a soft noise to follow and quickly lied on the bed.

“Yeah, you just be your little slutty self and take it all. Fuck,” Ashton pulled Luke’s underwear down.

Luke moaned and spread his legs. He was happy that Twitch kept him soft and shaved because he was usually shy, but he knew he looked good and apparently Ashton thought so too. He wouldn’t let his hands leave Luke’s bum.

He caressed the globes of skin before licking into Luke’s entrance. Luke clutched his stuffed animals and cried out.

“Oh daddy!” Luke was a sensitive boy of course.

Ashton responded by pulling Luke against his face. It was obvious that he had fantasized about this for awhile because he was taking amazing care of Luke. Luke had to wiggle his hips against the bed for some kind of friction because his whole body was full of electricity at every touch. It was the same feeling Ashton’s words gave him.

Luke all but rode Ashton’s tongue. He felt so pampered and pretty even. All the attention on his body made him overwhelmed.

“Are you going to have sex with me too?” Luke looked over his shoulder with red cheeks.

“Of course I am. I’m just making you wet for me,” Ashton growled. “This isn’t the kind of ass you just don’t fuck.”

Ashton turned Luke over. He carefully took off Luke’s sweater and caressed his body.

“You have cute nipples,” Ashton mumbled, leaning forward to bite and lick them. Luke gasped and gripped Ashton’s hair.

“I’ll let touching me slide this once, but only because your first time has to be special for you.” Ashton growled. “But I do not play. You don’t do things unless I tell you to.”

“I understand,” Luke moaned. His chest rose and fell rapidly.

“Good.” Ashton took his time then. He coated his fingers in lube and opened the princess-like boy up. Luke, of course, responded loudly and like a deprived whore. Ashton called him things like: “slut,” “cumslut,” cockslut,” “bunny,” “whore,” and “twitch thot.” That was all Luke ever wanted.

When he felt that two fingers had scissored him open enough, Luke opened his cerulean eyes full of tears and pouted. “I’m ready, Ashy.”

“Ashy,” He repeated. “I like it,” he mumbled as he lubed his dick up. Ashton teased himself against the tightness of Luke’s thighs and his entrance. It made him dip his head in Luke’s neck. He was growing weaker, so he pushed inside.

It was not disappointing for either of them. Luke squeezed his eyes shut because, at first it was the worst pain he ever felt. Ashton was huge inside of his barely-opened-by-a-dildo ass, but soon it was a dull ache. And Luke knew he was going to be addicted to the feeling.

The rainbow lights from the PC made Ashton look like a god, and Luke wasn’t expecting him to be as fit as the pictures had shown. He found himself caressing his back muscles and biceps too often. Ashton gave him a cocky smirk.

“I’m gonna make it feel so good that you’re going to feel me when you try to sleep. It’s going to keep you awake, bunny. How bad you need me,” Ashton growled into Luke’s ear. Luke moaned a little mantra of:

“Don’t stop. Ah! Ashy! Oh my gosh!”

Luke’s vision blurred when one particular thrust of Ashton’s hips made his whole body jolt. “Ashton! Do it again!” He screamed.

“There it is...” He smirked and kissed Luke softly before hitting his spot again. Luke was a goner. His eyes crossed, and he let Ashton use his body from that point on.

It was when he tightened around him that Ashton cautioned him of his release. Ashton made sure Luke came first, moaning and crying as he spilled onto his tummy. And Ashton finished after, pumping himself over Luke’s face.

“Can I cum on your face?” He groaned, speeding up.

“Of course!” Luke giggled and moved so Ashton could aim better. He stuck his tongue out and moaned when Ashton’s cum got all over his cheeks and tongue.

“Fuck...such a Twitch thot. You should sell pictures of yourself like this...” Ashton groaned.

“Take some of me!” Luke squeaked and clapped, so Ashton did. Luke posted them to his private Snapchat and captioned it:

“Twitch boys like attention too!”

[ofreligion]

12/13/19, 10:00pm: hey 12/13/19, 11:29pm: can we talk about this? 12/14/19, 12:47am: wow that fire was crazy, right? 12/14/19, 3:01pm: pls come home, mel, where are you? 12/14/19, 11:22pm: this isn’t funny. melanie luciana rivera, what the fuck is going on? 12/15/19, 7:59pm: where are you?

task one: the interrogation.

cc: @covingtonhqs​, @brcknboy​, @fiilledwithfire​, @voidgriff​, @ofconstellctions​, @dcnatellas​, @flightsrsk​, @gvldenfleece​, @cagcdbirds​,

“ms. glickman. why do you have a fish with you right now?”

michal looked down at her lap, where a small rectangular tank sat. on top, sat a black cover with a handle, and inside sat an off-white colored catfish with light brown spots, no bigger than three or four inches. “this is dog, he’s my emotional support fish. i can show you his certification if you need to see it, i have it right here in my-.”

“that won’t be necessary, ms. glickman. we can go ahead and just begin the questions.”

she nodded, placing her hands gently on either side of the tank.

can you tell me, to the best of your memory, what happened on the night of december 13, 2019?

"well, you know, i woke up in the morning and got out of bed, i checked my phone, went to the bathr-”

“the night of december 13, ms.glickman, not the entire day.”

“oh, right, sorry, yes. well,” she said, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear and swallowing the spit that was collecting in her mouth before looking up at the man sitting across from her. eye contact, her mom had told her, if you want to show that you’re telling the truth, you need to maintain eye contact. “melanie left our apartment to go set up at the estate at like 8:00? 8:15? maybe somewhere in the middle, i can’t remember exactly, but i know that she was gone by 8:23 because that’s when i left my room to go get some leftover queso from the fridge. anyway, i ate the queso, then went to go get ready, got dressed, and left my apartment to go pick up cordelia.” she stopped for a moment, as dog hit his tail against the plastic. she looked down at the tank with a small smile, as if to say thanks for the encouragement, before looking up at the detective and continuing.

“so anyway, what was i saying? oh, yes, right, cordelia. cordelia underhill, she’s really cool, sometimes i wonder why she’s friends with me. anyway, i show up at her place, she gets in my car, and we get super stoned, like ridiculously bake-. oh, wait, can you get me in trouble for that? never mind. but we got to the party at about 9:15ish. i mostly hung out with my friend miles, honestly. he was wasted, it was hilarious, but then again, maybe i just found it funny because i was hi-.”

she coughed, the investigator didn’t look amused.

“right, so, anything else that happened that night, um...sometime later on, cordelia told me she was leaving to go hook up with our friend, maverick, and our ex-friend, donatella, was not happy about that. i think she was eavesdropping or something. anyway, her and maverick used to date in high school, and so it was like this whole thing and she threw a drink on cordelia blah blah blah. anyway, i just, like, had to remove myself from that situation. so i went to go talk to victoria, who i’m not dating, but like sometimes we act like we’re dating? it’s really confusing, i’m not entirely sure what’s going on there, but we talked for a bit and we kissed a bit and then she got weird about everything and left. she told me the other day that she didn’t really like melanie that much, so that might be why she didn’t want to talk about her. and yeah, that’s pretty much it. can i have a glass of water?”

did you see anything unusual that night? was anyone acting out of the ordinary?

she took a sip from her newly acquired glass of water before responding. “well, hemlock’s not exactly an ordinary place. and, for that matter, covington isn’t really an ordinary school. like, you’re talking to me and i’m holding a catfish, that’s weird, let’s not deny that.”

she paused for a moment to let her words bounce off the walls of the room and into the investigator’s ears. the police chief was there too, but she refused to acknowledge him. she didn’t trust police.

after what she deemed to be an appropriate amount of time, she spoke again. “but, as far as things that you may consider to be ‘unusual,’ my friend wolfgang seemed a bit weird. i don’t think they like parties, though, so that can be easily explained. my roommate, griffin, didn’t spend much of the day at home, but her and melanie aren’t on the best of terms right now ever since melanie revealed one of griffin’s biggest secrets to me, that’s why i’m upset at melanie, by the way, so that’s not that weird either. oh! i did go to the bathroom at one point and there was a girl in there crying. el...el...ella, i think her name is. weird girl, i see her outside of my apartment sometimes. i gave her my handkerchief so that she didn’t have to waste paper tissues anymore, and we kind of talked for a bit? i don’t know, i don’t think it was a conversation, it was more just words that were coming out of my mouth. but anyway, she still has my handkerchief. i hope she gives it back.”

can you tell me more about your relationship with melanie?

“i’ve been friends with cordelia since diapers. i’ve just always known her, you know? we shared basically everything with each other and our friend groups centered around whoever else we were vibing with at the time. so, in high school, i dated this boy, richard braxton. we started dating in junior year-”

“ms. glickman, what does this have to do with melanie?”

“hold, please, i’m getting there. so anyway, dick and i were dating, donatella, the drink thrower from earlier, i’m still not over that, was dating dick’s brother, maverick, the one that cordelia hooked up with on friday, and cordelia was dating melanie. that’s how i really got to know her, through cordelia. we were all a squad of some sorts. but mel and cordy and dick and i broke up at the end of senior year, so things were sort of weird, but melanie and i decided to live together freshman year. and it just sort of worked. and so we’ve lived together every year since. and now we live with griffin too, and we had a fourth roommate who dropped out in the middle of the semester. and yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

do you have any reason to believe that someone would want to hurt melanie?

“no,” she said plainly, before taking another sip of water.

the investigator waited a moment before speaking again. “care to elaborate?”

she shook her head. the detective and police chief made eye contact with each other before michal spoke again.

“well, melanie’s just, like, melanie, you know? sometimes, you get mad at her, but it’s never for long and things always come around eventually. or at least, they used to. but now she won’t come home and she won’t answer my texts and i’m really worried about her. you know, the last thing i said to her before the party that night was ‘i don’t like the person you’ve become, melanie, i don’t even recognize her,’ and then i slammed my door shut. that’s not how i want to leave things with her, it’s just not.”

do you have any questions about how the case will proceed?

she thought for a moment, pursing her lips and gently running her fingers across the lid on the top of the tank. “will i be home in time for hanukkah?”

[lovemesomesurveys]

How many times have you ever ridden an elephant? Zero. Do you like cobblers? No. I don’t like fruit pies or things like that. What do you think about lord of the Rings? Not my thing. What kind of cup did you last drink out of? It’s a Disney glass. We have a few of them and each one has different Disney facts and pictures on them. Do you currently have any cuts or scrapes? Yes, on my right middle finger knuckle. I keep picking the scab. :X

Did you like Barney as a child? I was obSESSED with Barney. Probably annoyingly so to my parents with the songs haha. I remember this Barney in concert special that aired that my mom videotaped for me (I’m old, there was no DVR) that I watched over and over.  What color vacuum do you use? Our vacuum is black. Do you have a lot of clothes hangers in your house? Yeah. Have you ever been in a Latin class? No. Have you ever had bubble gum stuck in your hair? Yes. I fell asleep once with gum as a kid and it fell out of my mouth and into my hair. Is there any pet hair stuck to your clothing? Yeah. What do you smell? Nothing at the moment. Have you ever watched The Gremlins? Nah. Looks kinda ridiculous in my opinion lol. What is your favorite type of seashell? I don’t have a favorite type in particular.  Do you love 3-D movies? Nah. It’s annoying as someone who wears glasses to try and wear the 3D glasses cause I have to put those over my own and yeah. I’d just rather not deal with it. Plus, except for in some cases, it doesn’t really add much anyway. Have you ever used Proactiv? Yeah. Is your cell on charge? No. Do you like dirt or sand better? I’ll say sand only cause I associate that with the beach, which I love. When’s the last time you had a hamburger? A few weeks ago. Do you own an iHome? Not anymore, but I used to. Do you own a BEST FRIEND charm or figurine? What’s a best friend figurine? lol that sounds weird. Anyway, no, I don’t have either of those. What do you think about rainbows? I think they’re very pretty. Are you wearing anything on your head right now? Nope. Are you watching cartoons? No. I’m watching Catfish. Do you own a pet spider? EW NOOOO. Do you like mouthwash? It’s too strong and irritating for my mouth. Have you ever used a Ped-Egg? No. Ew, I’ve seen the commercial for that and it makes me gag cause it shows all the dead skin the person scraped from their foot. Blech. Do you like Olay products? I don’t use any. Have you ever gone on a cruise? No. They sound fun in theory, but actually going on one would be terrifying. The idea of just being out in the middle of the freaking ocean...sljfdkfjsldfk Do you use green pens? I have before, but no not regularly. I like black ink pens. Do you own anything that has a striped pattern on it? Yeah. Do you watch Wheel of Fortune? Not regularly, but I’ve seen it a few times throughout my life. Are there any fake tattoos on you? No. No real ones either. Can you roll your belly? No. When’s the last time you saw your grandpa? I saw my Papa back in September of last year. I last saw my grandpa in December of 2010 before he passed away. We were by his side when he did. :( Is there a rocking chair in your house? No. Do you call your animals “baby names”? Yeah. She has a ton of nicknames. Why does George Lopez say “I GOT THIS!!” in that voice? *shrug* That’s just his thing.  Do you have homework? No. I’m not in school anymore. Have you ever gone to a Monster Truck show? No. Well, have you ever seen the Nutcracker? Not on broadway or anything. I’ve seen a movie or animated version before when I was a kid, though.  Where did you get your bed sheets? Probably Kohl’s. Do you always use manners? I think so. Have you ever been stood up? Yes. Are your lips chapped? Yes. I’m always licking and biting/picking them. Have you ever been kicked in the throat? Ahh, no. I’ve accidentally hit myself in the throat, though. OW. Do you own a fishtank? No. When is the last time you were sick? I felt extra sicky this past Saturday. As far as like something like a cold, I got hit hard with the flu and bronchitis back in mid January. That really messed me up. I was down and out for like 2 months.  Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? Sure. It’s a nostalgic thing. What do you usually order from Taco Bell? Bean burrito with no onions and extra sauce and sour cream and guac on the side. Sometimes I’ll add a couple Doritos Locos Tacos, too. If you have a cell, is it touch screen? Yeah. Crazy how that wasn’t the norm at one time, but now it’s weird if your cell phone isn’t a touch screen. Do you own a feather boa? No. Are you allergic to peanuts? No. Do you wear ribbons in your hair? No. Did you get into the Livestrong bracelet kick? I did. I had others as well, like one for ASPCA.  How many pictures are on the wall of the room you are in? 7. Do you use cheat codes on video games? I used to do that back in the day. Have you ever gone mudding on a fourwheeler? No. Is there a rolly chair in your bed room? My wheelchair, ha. What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher? I liked the watermelon, green apple, and blue raspberry flavors. I really liked the Jolly Rancher suckers they came out with, too.  Who is your favorite super hero? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Thor, and Star Lord. && who is your favorite Villan? Michael Myers, Pennywise, Darth Vader, The Joker, and Loki. Have you ever been to a church camp? No. Is there a trampoline in your back yard? No. Have you ever played Dance Dance Revolution? Nope. Have you ever swam in a creek? No. Do you enjoy running? Not at all. How long has it been since you last slept? Uhhh I woke up around 9AM yesterday and it’s 2:42AM now. What are your thoughts on Myspace? It’s dead. Crazy how that was the big thing at one point. I was obsessed with Myspace. I used to obsess over my layout and what I’d add to my page, like cute icons and stuff, my profile name, putting quotes and lyrics as my status, choosing my top 8, posting bulletins with surveys, and joining those train things lmao.  What is the last thing you dropped? A straw. How many nickels are in your possession? *shrug* A lot.  Is the sound on your laptop or computer turned off? It’s turned down pretty low.  How many items do you have in your “favorites”? I have a few things on my Bookmarks bar. Would you ever slide down a razor blade slide into a pool full of alcohol? A RAZOR slide? Uh, that’s a hard pass.  What is the last infomercial you saw? I don’t remember. How many magnets are on your refrigerator? Several. How many keychains do you own? A lot. I have a good little collection going. I love getting keychains. Do you own anything with a peace sign on it? Yeah. Have you ever been to Johnny Rocket’s? Yes. How many stuffed animals are in your room? I have a lot. I should count them all sometime.  Look up, then to the right. What do you see? The top of the curtains I have hanging up in place of the sliding doors I had for my closet. Have you ever done the “Cupid Shuffle”. I know the song and I’m familiar with the dance, but no I haven’t done it. Do you know how to do the Solja Boy dance? Again, I’m familiar with the song and dance, but I haven’t done it.  When is the last time you wore shorts? Years ago. Do you like elevators or escalators? I have to use the elevator. Have you ever layed on a tampur pedic? No. I’d love to have that kind of bed, though. It would be better for me. Have you ever been in Karate? No. What color is the nearest lampshade? White. Is there anyone in the room with you? No. How long has it been since you’ve eaten a Reese’s? Like a couple years. When is the last time you went to Walmart? A few weeks ago. Do you own any body glitter? Nope. What brand of hair straightner do you own, if you own one? I think it’s a Conair.  What is your favorite brand of chips? Doritos. Back when I could eat spicy things I would have said Cheetos cause of Hot Cheetos. What time was it 20 minutes ago? 2:34AM. When is the last time you pet an animal? Last night. Do you own anything from Aeropostale? Not anymore. I used to have some shirts and a couple hoodies.

[goldnpoc]

For those who just recently followed me or new followers I got known on tumblr for my catfish scandal back when I was 15 (it'll be 5 yrs since my catfish days) on Tumblr. Some of yall may not know of me catfishing bc I changed my url numerous times and then go missing for a couple days and then pop up with a new url. I would switch to a different person every 4 months (I catfished 3 people in total on here for a yr) I had to stop bc I kept getting caught lmao but it was for the better. For me to improve and better myself image. Even though I got a lot of hate, I got a lot of support too. Tumblr really IS my journal, my journey and really helped me with my confidence. I used to think I was the ugliest thing on the planet, now I think I'm ugly but not the ugliest thing on the planet. I know I'm ugly but I know I'm definitely cute a lot of times too. With the scandal I gained over 15-20k. Without the scandal and being myself, I've accumulated over 82k+.

I learned so much from this site about racism, sexism, classism, feminism, social politics, anxiety/depression, etc. I fell in love with black people and blackness. I used to think black people didn't like me and I was so different than the ones I went to school with. But I seen a spectrum of all types of black on here and it made me so happy to be apart of that. I met some really nice people, along with some weirdos (but I think that's part of the tumblr experience to meet a weirdo). I've gotten help to pay for transportation and lunch money when I was dead broke bc I'm a poor college student. Now, I'm selling some of my stuff through here and it's going pretty good actually.

Anytime, I moved to another outlet like Instagram or Twitter it was just depressing to me. I'd instantly lose my confidence, too. Like, I can't filter out the crazy ignorance on the other sites or the superficial lifestyles bc it always creeps back up. Some of yall just here bc yall bored, but like others, I found tumblr to be like a home for me. I'm comfortable here like I dead showed my tiddies on here. I would never do that anywhere else best believe. Plus, the formatting on here is nice you reblog and share thoughts. Bc making my own posts that's tiring sometimes. I like that there's posts already and I just reblog. I'm not leaving tumblr like let's be honest, yall bitches ain't going nowhere. But I'm definitely not gonna be on Tumblr as much bc I want TIDDIES.

[hotgirlradio]

ON AIR | SPECIAL GUEST.

The following interview is previously recorded from: UCLA CAMPUS 4/24/19 -

“Wassup Hotties, it’s the original HOT GIRL Isis also known as Thee Stallion and it feels sooo good to be back behind the mic, I promise you.” She chuckled, looking around. “It’s hot as fuck in LA right now but that just means ASS is OUT, okay? I am currently on the campus of UCLA surrounded by some of the finest women I’ve ever seen in my life so if you ain’t hea, get hea! Today I'm sitting with up and coming rapper, like myself, Genevieve of The City Girls and the answer is YES, she is in fact fine as hell in person, no catfish here.” Ice laughed. “I’m not wasting noooo time we’re gonna jump riiiight into the interview. Me and my good sis BEEN chattin’ so I’ma get straight into the TEA.”

Isis: “What started you off rappin’? How’d you get started in the industry?”

G: It's a crazy story actually, my homegirl Jt started me off rapping it was never something i thought I'd want to pursue on a serious level but one night she pulled up on me and she was just so hyped about her verse she just wrote and I'll never forget she turned to me and said "Jénevieve hop on his track with me" I'm like gurl what?!” chuckling “Long story short I bust my verse out in under 20 minuets and the rest was history” smiles “I've always had a passion for music growing up in miami tho' I grew up in a household where we would just blast Trina and trick daddy 24/7 but Trina  definitely was inspiration! 

Isis: “Yasss Trina! So now I HAVE to ask, who are your top 5 inspirations in this rap shit?”

G: You already know I'm rocking with the diamond princess Trina, then Remy ma, Foxy Brown, and Charli Baltimore, Lil kim 

Isis: “I was boutta say, you can’t forget Kim when it comes to this female rap shit. On a different note tho` how do you balance working and being social in these streets?”

G: whew chile it's a struggle laughing forreal tho' it can get really hectic at times i feel so secluded but I make sure i catch up with my folks as much as possible when a bitch got some downtime and i rarely get any of that since i have to hold shit down for city girls #Freejt, Sometimes I even bring sum of my peoples with me when I'm on the road. 

Isis: “I feel that. Makin’ it work based on the circumstances. So while you out on the road, I know you ain’t just TALKIN’ talkin’ but are you dating?”

A: Naw, I ain't dating and I don't think I plan on it anytime soon I just want to make music and focus on city girls but it's a few LA niggas that can get it but ima' chill

Isis: “There’s PLENTYYYY, you hea me?” Isis chuckled to herself. “So many but I hear you. So lets into these lyrics, what’s one of your favorite lines that you’ve written?”

G: "Real ass bitch give a fuck bout a nigga big Birkin bag hold five six figures! Stripes on my ass so he call this pussy Tigger, Fuckin' on a scammin' ass, rich ass nigga!!"

Isis: “Wayment. I heard Yachty wrote those lyrics? Somebody’s lying. Yachty might have to cut you a check, sis. TEA. But lemme hush, I’m glad you’re out hea in LA doing your thing. How has LA been for you?”

G: Honestly? It's been amazing I've managed to meet some fire producers and tons of talent agents, songwriters, creative directors. Now, don't get me wrong LA surely does have it's con's but we ain't gon get into all that laughs