#and taking that into account what's basically being expressed is that you find all these bits & pieces interesting and want to see them

[fiapple]

do i like jason todd? yes, i think about him far too often.

do i think the section of his fan-base who posit storylines, narrative positioning, & other writing choices for him that either aren't present or are deeply mismanaged/inconsistent in-text, & which have already been canonically given to comic-women (while often also being better written) should at least try branching the scope of their reading out a bit? oh, jesus fucking christ, absolutley.

[luv4-liv]

❝You know what the best thing about having a baby is, honey?❞

Pairing: Theodore Nott x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. +18. unprotected sex (don't do it please!!!). neck marks. sex in the kitchen. etc.

Summary: basically, Theo with the idea that he wants a baby, mostly because of the timing of it

The plot of this One Shot is totally mine and my imagination.

You can find more in Spanish in my wattpad account (delicateew)

Remember that English is not my language so it may contain several errors, please be patient with me

Don't translate this, or adapt it, or anything like that into Spanish, I'll do it, because it's my language. Thank you!

(that's not my gif)

____ and Theo were possibly at the peak of their relationship.

A few months ago they had taken a big step. They had bought an apartment and were living there together, just the two of them.

But Theodore wanted more.

____ was doing the dishes, while her boyfriend stood beside her talking to her.

"____..." he called to her for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

"Tell me."

"We should have a baby," he blurted out matter-of-factly.

She laughed, expecting traces of a joke in his facial expression, but nothing.

"Mhm, forget it."

"What, why? We have to have a baby," he hugged her from behind.

"Since when do you like babies?"

"Since the idea of having them with you."

Theodore pushed her hair away and began to leave soft kisses on her neck.

____ sighed turning off the faucet.

"Theo.."

"You know what the best thing about having a baby is, honey?" she shook her head, enjoying his caresses. "The time to do it."

He began to leave nibbles on ____'s neck, unable to contain himself.

She closed her eyes and Nott pulled her up onto the kitchen counter.

Clinging to the countertop, she looked into his eyes. Suddenly she felt her breathing hitch, but at the same time her pulse was racing a thousand miles an hour.

It didn't take long for him to get rid of his wife's blouse.

"You are so beautiful.."

Theodore went further, until the moment he had her on the countertop. His lips bit her until she had to moan with each bite. His eyes were riveted on her, on her neck and chest.

Her gasp as she felt his lips on each bite was a sound that made the slytherin pause for a moment, so he could start again harder.

With each bite, it was as if Theodore had a burning bonfire inside him, causing him to crave more and more kisses and bites.

With one hand, he began to caress her thighs, then he made her spread her legs apart and brought his hand between them.

With his hand he reached a point of ____, very sensitive to the touch, so he put her in a situation where she had to moan.

Theodore pulled her underwear aside and began to touch her, leaving her with a blank mind, doing nothing but moaning.

Meanwhile, he was kissing her much harder, she could do nothing but let her senses take over and let herself be driven by desire.

"Theo..." she held his wrist, her eyes remained closed, which let her boyfriend know that she was very close.

A few minutes later,she was able to release that knot inside her, moaning even louder, if that was possible.

Theodore exhaled from the need he felt so badly and looked at ____, as she recovered from her panting and moaning from what had just happened.

He quickly removed his pants along with his underwear, he really needed her.

He looked at her for a few seconds, her chest rising and falling, trying to recover from her recent orgasm.

He went back to her and pulled down her underwear, still leaving her skirt on.

He moved closer so he could kiss her, no longer as intensely, but with all the feeling in the world. He moved closer to her and slowly penetrated her.

Her gasp was inevitable, as her moans grew louder and his were in halting tones. They were both being driven to experience a very intense moment.

Theodore inside felt on top of the world, as he felt on par with her in this very unique moment.

It wasn't the first time, but they felt that every time they did it was just as amazing, and even better.

Meanwhile, ____ was experiencing the same sensation as Nott on the counter as this was happening.

She felt her moans not coming from her throat, but from her body, which was being shaken by what she was doing, her back was bumping against the wall from time to time, and sweat was covering them both.

His breathing was of the purest need, which was a mix between a gasp with breath.

Theodore felt very close to reaching the peak, meanwhile, he felt his girlfriend's breathing intensify.

In the Italian's mind, it was as if his whole body was on fire, the same bonfire he had felt before and now he felt the heat was inside him. He wasn't that far from that high and ____ was letting him know it with her gasps.

The moment they both felt so close, the gasps grew louder as they felt it was only a short time away from where they had been waiting for so long.

"Theo.. I'm almost there.." she groaned.

"Come on.. You can do it." gasped Theodore a little earlier, implying that there was almost nothing left to reach the highest point they had both wanted to feel all along.

Their gasps and breaths mingled until the moment they both made a noise in unison. They both screamed as they reached their longed-for climax together.

Theodore had no words to express what had just happened, what he was feeling and what he was beginning to feel, it was only enough for him to breathe at the same time as ____, after what they had just experienced. They had never felt it so intensely.

His hands were caressing her non-stop, to let her know the sensations inside her after what had happened, while ____ could feel that warm liquid inside her.

With one hand and without stopping caressing every inch of her body, Nott approached her lips and began to kiss her. There were only two words to say everything she was feeling at that moment.

"I love you.." she declared first

"I love you more.." he said to then kiss her again with more intensity.

Their lips parted for a moment, just to breathe and then she took the opportunity to speak.

"I think we can think about the baby.." said ____, eliciting a smile from the Italian at that.

[transmutationisms]

this is probably shaped by my limited frame of reference, but im really fascinated by witnessing the real-time development of adhd as a diagnosis. people attribute so many symptoms to it now or maybe they always did? i was wondering if you have any thoughts on what is the use of adhd specifically as a category within psychiatry. I'm esl so sorry for any confusing wording

no you're right imo; diagnostic categories are always somewhat in flux ofc but ADHD is one that has seen a particularly pronounced shift in the last couple decades. obviously this is multifactorial but my observation goes something along these lines:

'hyperactivity' has been dx'd in children since about the 1950s (also when Ritalin hit the market) but the ADHD dx doesn't really take off until the 90s (also when Adderall, a 2nd-gen reformulation of the 'obesity' drug Obetrol, hit the market). so, it's not all that surprising that 20 years later you see increased patient awareness of the diagnosis, increased popular interest in it, and shifting / expanding ideas of what it means and what ADHD 'is'. it's a relatively young dx.

part of the reason it's young is because it's basically a 'biopsychiatric' dx, meaning it diagnoses certain behaviours as being a 'brain problem' rather than having social causes or context. in practice this is complicated because psychs do use pharmacological approaches in conjunction with psychodynamic ones all the time; nevertheless, the central promise of DSM ADHD and its pharmaceutical treatments has consistently been that the ADHD subject has a physiological, neurological disorder / dysfunction / aberration, and that the drug treatments on the market fix it. that none of this is actually empirically supported is conceptually inconvenient and entrenched by the research process.

the biopsychiatric narrative is worth paying attention to because the context here is one in which it has become commonly accepted that behavioural 'disorders' and affective distress of various kinds can be, basically, either of pure biological origin, or else Your Fault. in the case of childhood hyperactivity, Your Fault historically also included Your Mother's Fault; part of the reason many mothers embraced Ritalin in the 50s and 60s was because the proffered pharmaceutical narrative explicitly challenged the idea that these mothers had done something 'wrong' to result in their (mostly) sons exhibiting disruptive and hyperactive behaviour.

this dichotomy of biology vs personal failing is very overtly present in quite a bit of discourse around ADHD today. if it's my brain being 'wrong' or different, then it's not something I've done wrong but a disease with a simple chemical fix. in this context I don't think it's surprising at all that a lot of popular and patient conceptions of ADHD have seen a considerable widening over the past few decades. often people like to blame this on pharmaceutical companies, and it's true that industry benefits from these discourses and frequently invests in them (eg, via instruments like ADDitude mag). however, that's a pretty simplistic explanation on its own and doesn't really account for the ways in which patients and potential patients also find this diagnostic category personally useful, for reasons ranging from identity-formation to the desire to access prescription amphetamines. ADHD increasingly shows up as a biologised explanation for behaviours ranging from 'eating too many sweets' to 'postural sway' and so on. you can see in such examples how invoking the idea of an aberrant ADHD brain is both reassuring to people who have been made to feel ashamed of certain behaviours, and provides a sense of shared identity and community with others.

all of this is to say: I don't find it surprising at all when I see a relative broadening of notions of ADHD, almost always expressed in biological terms (the 'ADHD brain' operates differently, 'seeks dopamine', causes this or that). ADHD is in some ways a particularly blatant distillation of this general trend in popular psychiatric discourses, for reasons relating to expectations about childhood and child behaviour, and the historical and present relationship between the ADHD label and the regulation of amphetamines. but much of what's happening with ADHD in terms of popular discourses about it can also be seen with many, many other psychiatric diagnoses, to varying extents and in various ways.

my experience writing about ADHD on this website leads me to close by explicitly stating the following: I do not think any ADHD behaviours / symptoms are people's 'fault' or an individual failing; I do not think using drugs for any reason is morally bad or needs to be justified; the fact that I do not think ADHD is a 'brain disease' does not mean I think people are 'making it up' or exaggerating wrt any difficulties they experience personally, professionally, emotionally, &c.

[cinnamonest]

Yan childe x teacher reader BUT the reader has a lover OMG I CAN'T-

//cucking + filming noncon, age gap, Ajax is an awful little bastard as usual

(also here's the original Delinquent!Childe x Teacher!Reader post, and the second sequel post)

Oh anon. Anon. I love this, but consider: take it a step further.

The poor boy finding out that his precious teacher he’s been fantasizing about fucking silly is MARRIED.

Typing away on her keyboard when his eyes drift and he stiffens up when he sees the ring he never noticed before. The pain. The horror. Devastated.

He’s never even met the guy, and yet he hates him so much. It’s not fair that he got to you first, just because he was born earlier than he was!

He’s probably not good enough for you. Some old guy who can’t rail you with the vigor and intensity that a young guy like himself can, probably can’t keep up with your drive either. You must be so frustrated and unsatisfied.

Now it feels so awful on his tongue to call you what he normally does. Miss _____, he says, and it feels like he’s spewing poison from his mouth, knowing it’s some other man’s name practically forced on you by dumb traditions and social standards (not that he wouldn’t do the same, but that’s different). It makes his chest hurt to hear it, the name feels like a constant reminder that some other man basically has laid claim to you, that the name marks you as belonging to someone who isn’t him.

He does some digging, finds everything he can on the guy, any online profiles or social accounts. Ugh. You deserve better. If it were him, he would just support you himself, you wouldn’t have to slave away doing paperwork all the time.

Even worse is the fact that the guy has a nice job — you know, the kind you need some higher degrees for, which he definitely won’t get seeing as his behavioral record is pretty much guaranteed to keep him out of any credible institution… still, you don’t need that much money to get by. Sure, he’ll never make that much (without getting into crime, at least, which isn’t an impossibility…), but still, he’s better for you.

It’s so much worse, though, when he stalks your accounts, sees pictures of the two of you together. Makes him feel sick to his stomach, you look happy and he doesn’t like that. He ends up having to close the window, unable to handle any further emotional damage.

He starts to pry, little by little. Can’t be too blatant, but he slips in a question every now and then — how you met, what you two do for fun, so on and so on. It makes him stomach churn to hear you talk about him, but he can’t refrain from continuing to ask, practically a compulsive urge.

God forbid you express any sort of discontentment. Even the slightest frustrated sigh, passive-aggressive comment in regards to the man, and so on, he perks up and zeros in. Oh, so you are unhappy. Typical unsatisfied wife that’s getting pent up from unmet needs and all that.

He’s very attentive to those complaints, the things you mutter under your breath and the implications of it all. He works too long and is never home (terrible, he would never leave you so lonely), he’s never helpful around the home (which wouldn’t be so much of an issue if you were home all the time and didn’t have work responsibilities), he suspiciously disappears sometimes for “work trips” or unexplained entirely (unforgiveable, your suspicions are well-founded, he’s definitely cheating and you shouldn’t forgive it).

Sometimes you sigh and shake your head — ah, sorry, I shouldn’t trouble someone your age with all this… but he assures you it’s fine… also he’s searched a list of local divorce attorneys, you know, if you consider that, which you should.

He’s not the best at being subtle or exercising restraint, so he can’t help but actually mention it out loud — life is short, better to divorce than stay in a miserable relationship! But you sigh and say it’s not that serious. He holds out on the hope that there’s an unspoken “yet” at the end of that, that eventually you’ll get fed up.

But you don’t. You keep tolerating it. It’s somewhat understandable, since divorces are difficult and messy, and you would need somewhere to stay and all that.

But getting one’s own place isn’t that hard. He would know, now — he’s actually been picking up odd jobs recently, all to get his own place. Hard to balance that with schoolwork, but he manages (and he’s in the absolute bottom-tier difficulty for courses anyway, with very little actual homework, and it’s not like he’s prepping for college like a lot of his peers). You’re very pleased with it, say you’re proud of him for being so dedicated and responsible, completely unaware that he only really has one intention for doing it all anyway.

He was planning to take that part slowly, ease his way there, but you push the limits of how much he can tolerate when he’s forced to meet the guy face-to-face. He’s just sitting there as per usual in your after-school sessions, talking a mile a minute as per usual, having a good day, completely unprepared for the psychological gut-punch he’s forced to experience when that same face he saw online comes walking right into your classroom. The sacred space that’s supposed to be just for you and him.

His soul is crushed when you get up to greet the guy all happily, practically ignoring him for several extended seconds before you gesture over to where he’s sitting and introduce each other — with himself as the student I’ve been tutoring, you know the one. The man nods, casts a single uncaring glance his direction.

Right. She mentioned you before.

The hell does that mean. He keeps the smile plastered to his face, but it’s twitchy. What did you say? Was it bad? No, you wouldn’t say anything bad about him… except maybe certain factual statements like the whole behavioral record thing, but he can accept that that’s his own fault.

Still, he doesn’t like the way the guy looks at him. A vague condescending, disdainful glance. Makes him curl his hands into fists and clench his jaw. If it weren’t for the whole “impulse management” thing you’ve been hammering into his head for months now, he might have outright attacked the guy.

It’s practically torture to sit there. You say something about how you’re going out for your anniversary, so he came to pick you up. Awful. Like you might as well have stabbed him. Not to mention it’s cutting into what’s supposed to be his time with you, and now he has to leave early.

So he’s forced to walk to the front doors with you both, listening to you talk all happily about where you’re going, while he’s forced to continue to pretend to be perfectly fine with it. Ugh.

You bid him goodbye, and he smiles and waves and walks the opposite way… and the moment you’re out of sight, he’s scowling and grinding his teeth and kicking rocks on the road all the way home, sulking like a petulant kid, imagining all the horrible ways he hopes your date goes terribly wrong.

It makes him seethe all night long, laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, nausea ruining any chance he had of sleeping. He can’t even go sulk around his parents with the hope of getting attention like he used to do when he was mad, now that he lives in this little apartment by himself.

How is he supposed to live under these conditions, no attention available on demand. You don’t even text him to see if he got home safe like you do sometimes. Probably too busy doing whatever with your husband who’s more important than he is. Hmph. His mind briefly flickers to wondering what you’re doing now that it’s later in the night, but the obvious realization only makes him feel ten times more sick. He doesn’t get any rest.

And the longer the night goes on, the more irritated he starts to feel, the misery and hurt begins to turn to bitterness and anger. He starts to feel like you probably know — no, you definitely do. And yet, you willingly tortured him like that. You've been so nice to him, giving him all that attention and affection, knowing you won't ever give him what he really wants and being totally fine with causing him so much pain. He's hurt, and more importantly, mad.

But he can't hate you… your husband, however, is a different story.

That guy kept his arm around your waist walking outside, rubbing it in his face like that. He’s certain that your husband must realize that he loves you (way more than said husband does, for the record), but that look of disdain — he doesn’t even see him as a threat, does he. Thinks that he’s not even proper competition. That much is painful. Bothersome. Annoying. Rage-inducing.

Well, he’s wrong.

That’s the thought that pushes him over the edge. He’s already had the idea in his head for a long time, he just kept bailing out every time he gathered the gall to go through with it, much to his own shame.

But clearly, continuing to be passive is not going to get him anywhere. Come to think of it, a few months ago, he would never have hesitated to go through with whatever impulse struck him, no matter how violent. It’s not like he hasn’t been expelled or arrested before.

He appreciates the time he’s spent with you, but he’s starting to think that all those little speeches about “self-control” and “thinking before you act” and all that have only really just made him docile and tame. How embarrassing.

A man should just take what he wants, right? Anything less is practically a blow to his pride.

He’s still not the brightest when it comes to formulating plans, but his rather straightforward plan ends up working. You actually agree to swing by when he says he has something to give you, something too big to carry to school himself, so he needs you to come pick it up with your car and all that. You must really trust him. Or you’re just naive, maybe, but he likes to think you trust him, however unwise that may be.

He worries that you might back out, but you show right up to his door. The motions from there are mechanical, putting his brain on a sort of autopilot mode in which he just goes through with it, without thinking too much, lest he hesitate, until you’re secured.

Grabbing you by the shoulder and jerking you inside, hand over your mouth, other arm around your waist and picking you up. It's a short distance to the bed (well, mattress on the floor), since it's just a studio apartment and all.

You being so weak makes it so much easier. He can technically tell you're struggling, but it barely feels like resistance, just weak squirming and thrashing that doesn't even loosen his grip in the slightest. You make cute little noises of surprise and confusion and fear, muffled by his hand over your mouth.

Sadly, he can't afford to have you attracting attention from the neighbors, so he's forced to keep you gagged, pulling your shirt over your head (to which your whimpers turn to full-fledged sounds of panic), and — after the brief moment where he has to detach his hand from your mouth, hearing you stammer out a wait, wait— balls it up and stuffs it into your mouth, quickly grabbing the duct tape (he, feeling very proud of himself for such clever forethought, thought to go ahead and tear some long strips off and stick the ends to the wall ahead of time), and placing it over your mouth, flipping you over onto your stomach.

You're so cute. You make the cutest little noises, your eyes get all teary, you squirm and whimper and try to pull yourself away, but he's got your wrists pinned behind your back with one hand, the other pulling your hips back. The cutest part by far has to be when you feel him jerk your skirt up, his cock pressing against your flesh and pushing inside of you, your squeals get louder and higher pitched and you struggle so hard, to no avail.

So mean, though, to pretend like you didn't see it coming. You know what you did. You led him on on purpose. Knowing full well the sort of things he's done to other people — beating his peers black and blue on impulsive whims, getting into fights because he felt like it, stealing stuff and vandalizing stuff and all those other things he knows you know he did, since it's all on his records… you willingly came all by yourself, in private, with someone like that, who you know full well is so much stronger than you are—

What did you fucking expect?

Up until then, the stream of words from his mouth are all amused and teasing and sadistic, but in those words, and the sharp jerking thrust accompanying them, you hear that underlying anger breaking through. You really hurt him, you know, by being married. He loves you so much, and you had to go and do that to me, he says, as if it was a retroactive choice, as if you should have predicted his presence in your life years in advance, as if you willfully did it to spite him years before you knew he existed.

Is it irrational? Sure… but it isn't going to change that he feels that way, and he’s mad and you can't do anything about it anyway, so he's going to keep blaming you for what you did wrong.

He keeps muttering about how stupid you are — for coming here so naively, for choosing your dumb fucking husband over him when he's so much better and loves you so much more, for all the little things you did to lure him in and make him want you so badly, for being so nice to him and having a body you should have known would make him want this so badly.

It's all your fault.

The words get more and more muffled and slurred as the movements get faster, harsher, you squeal with each thrust that makes the springs creak and the whole mattress itself move back and forth against the floor. He points out that you're leaking all over him, fluid drooling out of your hole and spilling onto his hips and thighs, satisfied by the shameful little whimper you make and the way you hang your head. You must not get fucked good enough at home, huh.

And then, he starts to slow down. There's a pause. You see him reach over, to where he tossed a few things that were on you when you came in onto the floor. Fishes something out of your purse.

You made a confused, panicked little sound when you notice he's holding your phone. Easily unlocked, whatever method you use — he holds it up to your face or forces your thumb to press against it, or, most alarmingly, even if it's protected by password or pattern, he enters it with a single try. Shouldn't have opened your phone around him so much, of course he would pay attention to that.

You're flipped onto your back, reeling from the sudden harsh movement, grunting and squirming when your bra is pulled up to your collarbones and your skirt pulled up even further, exposing your body completely before shoving back inside of you, and oh, what a euphoric sound you make — and this time, you visibly clench down on him when he does. Perfectly timed, too.

Your stomach clenches in dread and panic as you see your phone’s front side facing you.

Smile.

You cry out louder than ever before, struggle so hard, so good. His hand latches onto your throat and squeezes hard, and your hands, now no longer in his grasp, reach up to claw at them, all entirely futile. The sound of skin slapping skin reverberates around the room, and you see him tilt the camera downward, ensuring he captures the sight of his cock pounding into you, stretching you apart, all the slick fluid now coating everything from your thighs to his hips, and the sweet, precious sounds you make for him.

He wonders if anyone has ever made you react like this before. If your husband is going to be torn apart by the realization that he's made you feel better than he ever has, that he's better and bigger than him. The sheer fear on your face would suggest that. The thought feels euphoric.

He re-angles himself, leaning forward a bit, ensuring his body presses against your clit — you start to tense up, push back, your heels dig into the mattress and your body writhes with greater force than ever before. Your eyes squeeze shut and you shake your head but he doesn't stop, and you hate yourself so much in the moment for the sensations your body feels, the guilt and despair overwhelm you, you feel a cold chill in your gut — but you finally spasm and shudder on his cock all the same, clearly trying so hard to minimize it and hold back the sounds and movements, but the involuntary shudders and soft little cries are unmistakable all the same.

Normally, he would want to stay inside you longer — but there will be plenty of chance for that later. This time, the prospect of pulling out and capturing it is too tempting, and God, is it satisfying when he does. The squelching sound, the way his cum starts to drool out of you onto the mattress, the way your hole twitches from the sudden absence, slightly agape from the intrusion. It's so, so perfect, better than he could have even imagined.

You rip the tape off your mouth, gagging and coughing from the strain on your throat, and the overwhelming sensation leaves you in a dazed stupor for a few moments… your head slowly drags over to him, and an ice-cold spike of fear strikes through your heart when you see that he's still on your phone.

Slight movement from you as you try to push yourself upright takes his attention away from it, eyes flickering over to you.

Ah, right.

You make a scared little sound and pull your hands close to your chest (very cute!) as he looms over you again, but you're helpless to do anything as he puts the phone down to flip you over again, this time taping your wrists behind your back, adding a new layer over your mouth, and finally one on your ankles. Your struggles barely faze him.

You see him zip his pants back up and pull his shirt back on, standing and making his way over to the door, shuffling his shoes back on before grabbing your car keys.

I'll bring these back. Your place is only five minutes away if I drive, you know. I won’t get into any wrecks this time.

It occurs to you that you've never told him where you live, but it's the least of your concerns then and there. Your heart sinks to your stomach as he takes your phone again, grinning as he types and, after a pause, makes one distinct, final tap that you know can only be hitting 'send.'

His head turns over to you, that same dopey, carefree smile on his face as always, that now seems so much more sinister than before.

Don't worry. He won't have enough time to call the cops.

Your muffled words don't stop him. You writhe pathetically on the ground as the door opens and closes before you, listening in dread and despair as his footsteps slowly fade away.

[y-rhywbeth2]

D&D Vampire Lore Dump #2

"Biology" Their "metabolism" and their physical body, their senses, why they're not aging and "vampires actually make fantastic torture victims, if you're a monster: vampire healing and how to inflict scars on them."

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER FOR FIRST TIME READERS: There are two things to note about the lore presented here: First, while the standard stat block in the monster manual is the default, in terms of lore vampires have this annoying tendency to be incredibly, stupidly varied. They are magical monstrosities ruled by the power of symbolism and superstition above anything else.

The next is that D&D is decades old, spans five editions, several settings and hundreds of writers. One guy establishes a piece of lore, and then the next picks it up goes "nah" and writes something else. I collected info from four different source books, all from different editions, which naturally don't entirely agree on how vampires work. Lore never stays consistent and may contradict itself. You may see information somewhere else from a source I don't have that contradicts what I wrote here. If you read this and like some of this stuff but not other bits, take the good and ditch the rest. Larian themselves have not written BG3 totally compliant with some established D&D lore or the original games.

Basically, in D&D, canon is what you decide it is.

Feeding | "Biology" | Hierarchy | Weaknesses and Cures | Psychology

The transformation into a vampire causes little physical change, except for the fangs, and the fact that their facial features seem take on a permanent hardened expression, appearing more "feral" in a way that is likened to a starving wolf. Spawn moreso than freed vampires, and in 5e they have claws despite the fact that freed vampires don't. Sometimes a vampire's eyes turn red upon changing, but this doesn't always happen.

Most of the vampire's five senses are sharpened by undeath. They can see perfectly in the dark, for example, and are very hard to catch off guard. The only one that gets duller than it was when they were alive is the sense of touch - "a blunt, phantom sense of touch, more mechanical than biological. It is a pale, crude approximation of a real tactile sense." They don't feel the effects of physical exertion and their ability to feel pain is dulled (but not nonexistent). They're not particularly bothered by high or cold temperatures unless they're at extremes (like frostbite levels, or "standing by a lava pool" levels). They're also largely unbothered by electric shocks.

They don't breathe, though they do actually have a heartbeat as their blood still gets pumped around their body. It doesn't provide any biological need of a living circulatory system, but is possibly part of keeping the body animated via magic.

Vampires do not produce body heat and tend to be room temperature to the touch unless they've fed within the last 24 hours, in which case they appear alive.

Lacking brain activity on account of being dead, vampires are immune to mind effecting spells and psionics. The fact that Astarion is affected by the tadpole is likely due to Netherese magic. The parasite is canonically modifying his undead state to its needs and has shut down his vampiric abilities, as he observes in one banter.

Their physical abilities massively increase. They have superhuman strength, speed and reflexes and are far more durable than the living.

Vampiric blood looks like humanoid blood at first glance, but takes on a golden sheen when held up to a light source. Also if the vampire it came from is still alive, then that blood can have strange magic properties… which are random! Maybe it burns like acid, or puts you under mind control if you touch it, or explodes into flame when exposed to sunlight! You won't know 'til you find out, it could do anything or nothing.

Vampires are capable of siring partially-undead children with the living (Dhampirs). Dhampirs are alive but as they grow up and their undead heritage starts to manifest they begin to share their vampire parent's cravings and feeding habits and are not terribly fond of said parent, as a rule.

Vampires are the only undead that require sleep. That turned out to be a very long topic of its own though, so maybe I'll focus on the details another time. Short version: Vampires have an instinctive knowledge of how close sunrise is. Some vampires can chose to sleep much like humans, others will immediately shut down the second the sun appears over the horizon and be dead until the moment it next sinks below said horizon, at which point the vampire is 1000% aware and awake again. They are bound to soil from their grave/homeland and must sleep on/in that or be destroyed. In BG3 specifically, looking at Cazador, elves still reverie (trance) in undeath. (In reverie, elves relive their memories of years gone by in vivid real time instead of dreaming. It's how elves avoid forgetting their own lives while living 700+ years) Vampires also hibernate, where they chose to go into a deep sleep for an unknown and uncontrollable length of time reaching centuries in length. Usually due to depression.

A vampire's body is frozen in time, and they will always have the same appearance they had when they died. The magic that keeps the vampire frozen in time, unageing, also gives them regenerative properties as it tries to reset them. Within minutes of receiving a wound, the wound has closed itself as if it were never there. "Wounds close, broken bones reform themselves, even missing limbs regenerate…" Reducing a vampire to 0 hit points also does not kill them, but that's for a later instalment. If one were to torture a vampire one could get both incredibly creative and make it last indefinitely.

They also can't get new tattoos or piercings, as the body heals them over again and pushes out the ink/metal. On the same logic if they had body modifications before they died then they'd never be able to get rid of them - if you scrape off the skin a tattoo is on or tore off a pierced lobe, the skin that grows back will still have the tattoo and the ear will have the hole for the earing still there.

However, there are forms of magical damage that inflict permanent marks on a vampire, which are called stigmata. Sunlight, holy water, holy symbols and the like are known to leave a scar. A silver plated blade might also do it.

There are two energy planes: Positive and Negative. Also known as the Planes of Life and Death, whose energies infuse the Prime Material Plane (which contains worlds like Earth and Toril). Living creatures are powered by positive energy (also called "radiant"), while the undead are animated by negative energy ("necrotic"). It's actually theorised that the undead somehow exist on the Prime Material Plane and the Negative Energy Plane simultaneously, though this seems gets into a lot of planar lore and conflicting information that I'm not going into. Traditionally, due to this difference, the undead are healed by spells made of negative/necrotic energy such as Inflict Wounds spells, but in reverse would be harmed by healing spells. 5e has not included this detail, that I've seen.

[bluexiao]

#writing about your idol boyfriend… and he finds out

—basically fanfic writer!reader and idol!6reeze/anemo boys and this is their reaction on finding out about it // a request // DCKZ version

—modern idol au, fluff, crack, established relationship, mentions of light jealousy 

SCARAMOUCHE / WANDERER

He would be pretty surprised—how can you hide even the fact that you’re a fan and now, a fanfiction writer or whatever that thing is called. He sure knows its very existence as he knows someone who taught him that… but you? No way. No way did he believe you at first until you reluctantly showed him a snippet of your writing. 

Certainly, you must be lying about this to an extent, just to show him that you favored him very much that you would write for him–very often, at that as well. 

But hey, at least you were writing for him–not that he’d ever admit that it was enough to flutter something inside his chest for a moment. 

Though knowing the mere fact you were writing for the others as well… Well, of course, that makes him feel a certain way that he would definitely act out on. And he’s going to be so childish about it that he’s going to make it your problem, not his–no, no, no, definitely not his. 

“How brazen you are, to write not only for me but for five other men who you don’t even know well.” 

It will definitely sound like him judging you, but do not get him wrong, he only dislikes the fact that you’re taking your time writing for the others–and isn’t it useless to do so? You already have him as your lover, so why is there a need to impress others by writing for your boyfriend’s–

Ugh, nevermind. It’s not that he will even tell you. 

Be prepared to not have kisses or hugs or cuddles whenever he sees you writing for others. Actually, he may have to note to himself that he should make an account on that website and continue to visit your account. 

Yes, it’s just to… monitor if you will characterize him or the others right. Right. It’s not because he’s jealous. Of course not, why would he be jealous? 

Ugh, he definitely is though. 

XIAO

You are… a fan of his? Of them? 

While it is not entirely surprising that you would wound up being a fan of their music, it would be unbelievable for him to think that you would be a fan, enough to write stories and all sorts of “imagines” about them–as you’d refer to it. 

Though it doesn’t bother him much, he’d be raising his brows each time he sees you on your laptop and you’d say that you’re busy writing for a post. If it was for him, he’d be a little bit flustered and would be quite clingy with you, sometimes, he’d be curious about what about him you’d be writing and how you’d write him. 

“I don’t think… I would agree to cuddle someone like… that quickly and easily, Y/n,” he has this small pout on his lips as he looks up at you and meets your eyes after reading the work that you had just posted a couple of seconds ago. It made you wonder if he had your notifications on whenever you posted but you had to answer his sudden reaction. 

“You’d do it for me though, right?” 

There was an expression in his eyes for a moment before he looks back down to his phone screen with a brief gesture with his hand while clearing his throat. 

You suppose he will after all. 

Yet if it’s not him and you were writing for one of his fellow members, he would be the opposite. You would not feel how distant he was until you finish your writing, realizing that he was acting rather suspiciously, silently scrolling through his phone in a room away from yours.

He’d be difficult to console, but one Almond Tofu from you might solve it, and then tell him that you have an idea of a story for him. Of course, that might pique his interest as he chews on his favorite meal with a small blush on his cheeks and ears. 

He just likes the feeling that your writing for him brings–so do write continuously for him! He’ll appreciate each and every one of them. 

KAZUHA 

He’d be very calm, but in reality, his heart was pounding!

You are writing for him? Ah, he certainly had not anticipated such a thing, but it would be quite a bad look for him if he outrightly says those words or express such feelings, so he tries to keep it in. 

“That is actually very flattering, my love. Will you allow me to read them, then?” 

Would most likely resort to teasing you–more like unintentionally, actually. He will merely be glad that those were the words that slipped out of his mouth, he guesses he was just used to teasing you that it was natural for him right now. 

He’ll be quite supportive though, and will most likely create an account just to monitor and like your posts. Some, he will comment on–especially the ones that have him or were of his, you observed. Comments like “so on point! bravo!” or “this was good!” and so on. 

He’d most likely end up being a writer himself on a specific site where he can freely publish his poems. This may be due to your encouragement or inspiration for your way of posting your works. 

He does admit that he is not particularly fond that you are writing for the other members, or that you have picked someone else as your bias and ended up with them in your profile instead of him. While he does appreciate that you’re hiding your identity properly for your safety, it just… doesn’t sit right with him. 

So what does he do? Well, he does the thing he knows best. Steal your heart and wait until you make him your profile. 

HEIZOU

Interesting–it was all he can think of. 

After all, he had a hunch that you were secretly a big fan of his–not that you didn’t express you weren’t, but he didn’t know it was to the extent of writing stories online about him or the rest of the group. 

So, how did he found out? Well, of course, you didn’t tell him first–in the end, you did tell him, but he was the one who initiated it. He just noticed that you were either typing away on your keyboard or laptop or your phone whenever you have free time and whenever he tries to take a peek to see what was on the screen, you would always try to pull it away or sneakily transfer to another page. 

And then, after a couple more observations, he was convinced that you were hiding something. At first, he thought you were planning to surprise him with something or maybe… well, he already considered a couple of other possibilities, but surely, you weren’t cheating on him… right? 

Well, it didn’t seem like it. Your pattern of typing didn’t seem to be coming from someone who was talking to someone else, suggesting that maybe you were either typing for research or a report. For an essay? Or wait… You did say you liked writing. 

And thus, after the confirmation that you were a writer and slyly ending up on the topic of what you were currently writing… you ended up confessing that you were actually writing for your blog, and what’s more surprising was that it was for them–him and his fellow members. 

“Ah, I see! So that’s what it was,” he nods unconsciously in understanding, “such an amusing discovery. I couldn’t have expected you were a fanfiction writer. Huh? Why are you looking at me like that? Of course, I knew what a fanfiction writer is. Who do you think I am?” 

He still claims he is a good detective, so this kind of “discovery” would be something he’d brag about and continue to tease you about for a long time. 

Also, he does seem to be a critic as well. If he ends up reading all of your works, he will probably point out the mistaken characterization, grammar, misspelled words, and so on. Toughen up your heart, buttercup. 

VENTI

What can he say? Of course, he’s feeling giddy just by the thought alone! And he’d not be embarrassed to show it. 

“My windblume is writing stories about me?! And to think we both are writing for each other! Why, of course, I do think about you whenever I compose a song–a love song for the love of my li-Ow! Alright, alright, I won’t tease you any more. But hey… maybe… I can read your stories? The ones for me, of course!” 

He’s quite a talker, so don’t be surprised if it “slips out of his tongue” so suddenly and told it to his members. As the leader of the group, he is also responsible for keeping the group together, so being chatty was a quality of his that didn’t have to be eradicated. Thus, he might have said it while passing time or something. 

Yep, definitely sounds like him–this thought would cross your mind when Aether told you about it. 

Another thing would be that he would pretend to be jealous whenever you write for someone else, being pouty and whiny, telling you that you should write more for him and that you’d end up “making it up to him” by writing a piece for him. 

Oh, and don’t be surprised if he will actually make a song about indirectly calling you out for being a writer that writes for him and for the other guys just for the fun of it. 

AETHER

Of course, his first reaction was shock. 

This is not because he was weirded out or something, it was more so for his bewilderment that… how could he not have known? Despite his appearance and personality, he must have noticed such a thing, but he didn’t. And other than that, he should have taken the time to look into your hobbies. Yes, he did know that you liked writing, but why on Teyvat did he not ask if you have published them or what you wrote about? 

And instead of masking this regret, he will express it genuinely and would begin to chat with you about your writings and so on. 

“How long have you been writing?”, “I see, so you can tell what our reactions would be… and write about them? Ah, no, I’m not-I’m not judging you, love. That is actually very impressive.” 

Would actually be the only one in this group that would be supportive through and through–engages in all of your posts and would not feel jealous in any way whenever you try to write for the other members. 

I mean, really! Even if you have a different bias, he will even give you their signature or free merch. 

But don’t get him wrong. That doesn’t give you the free will to always talk about your bias. You should talk about him too! You’ll be rewarded with a bunch of kisses afterward if you do!

reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated <3

NOTES. so sorry i haven’t been posting! finals just finished and i was resting the whole time and i also attended a concert not so few days ago that exhausted me greatly! but anyway i’ve had this on my drafts for so long so i’m just glad i was able to post this now! thanks to the anon who requested this! i so wanted to make a version of this aside from the dckz one~

taglist will be on the reblogs!

[yxami]

Cupid yandere idea muahahahah and yes I did name him Eros because I could not let that perfect chance get away

Description: Cupid yandere, obsessive/possessive controlling themes in the yandere, gen neutral reader, just an introduction basically but I’m like so excited to write about him he’s so cute am I really fangirling over my own oc LMAOO

You walked in the empty park that was located near the restaurant you had just left. Another failed date… great. This was probably the 6th date you’ve been on that has gone nowhere. It can’t be you that’s wrong, right? You were normal and used polite manners and even got comfortable with your dates but not a single one contacted you afterwards.

You sat down on the wooden bench and rubbed your hands trying to get warmer. It was freezing for a sunny day, but now it’s cold and cloudy. The weather coincidentally matched your mood, gloomy and sad. You kept wondering what could’ve made the potential suitors run off without a text.

Were you cursed? Was something stopping you from being in love? Maybe some evil force that hated you.

“If there’s a god out there that’s controlling my love life!” You loudly said as if that god could hear your frustrated words.

“I fucking hate you!” You yelled higher in volume.

Of course, nobody answered your words laced with annoyance and loneliness. Nobody was nearby to hear them either so luckily you didn’t look like a total weirdo. You sighed taking your phone out of your back pocket and began scrolling through it. Blissfully unaware of the godly presence in front of you.

“Do they actually hate me?” Eros whimpered quietly, fiddling with his fingers while he stared you down. His wings drooped down, matching his sad mood from his human saying they hate him. His halo even dimmed, which was rare for a Cupid!

“Those people just didn’t seem right for you! All of them were weirdos and didn’t deserve your love!” He sighed looking straight at you, wondering if he should break rules and reveal himself. He knew you couldn’t hear his words but he still expressed them.

“I’ll find you someone soon enough, just be patient my love” He sat next to the empty spot that you left open. It was almost like you knew he was there and gave him that spot. Or he was just being delusional again

“Maybe if I just continue trying it’ll work, maybe they just found someone else. Yeah, thats probably why!” You murmured to yourself trying to save your faltering ego from the failed dates. You tried convincing yourself it was just a sign they weren’t the one and that’s why.

“Noo! Just stop going on that stupid app, just wait for me to bring you the right person!” He let out a groan, very disappointed in his human for being so stupidly insistent on something that would not work in the end. How many times would he have to shove suitors away from you?

Maybe he should delete the app off your phone while you slept tonight, or get you banned somehow so you could never create an account on the app ever.

“Maybe Cupid hates me, am I gonna have to chase his fucking arrows or something?” Your phone clicked shut and you slid it in your back pocket.

“I love you! I don’t hate you! I’ll shoot you with one of my arrows when I know they’re the one for you. His hands waved in a panic that you even suggested that he hates you. He loves you with all his heart and more! It was likely that he was the only cupid with such a strong obsession with their human.

All cupids had their designated human to guide throughout life, dealing with their love life and general pursuits of happiness. Cupids would begin interfering with their humans when they became the ripe age for love and then cared for them until they passed.

You were at that age where you wanted to find someone or something to distract you from your busy work life and it was stressing your Cupid out more than you!

You looked out seeing how the sun was setting and decided to start walking home. You didn’t want to be out so late, you had to go and eat dinner since that date of yours hardly lasted to even eat food.

You weren’t going to get over the fact you had so many failed attempts, it bruised your ego so bad.

Eros could see your hurt face and his heart ached to give you some relief, but how would he? He didn’t want you to get a partner! He wanted to be selfish and guide you to be his mate. His designated lover that stays with him forever. Wouldn’t you love that?

Once you got home you kicked your shoes off and groggily walked towards your kitchen. You rummaged through cabinets to try and find something to eat.

He was biting his lip, trying to gather his thoughts about whether to show himself or not. Would you allow him to talk? Or would you call the police and say that a guy with wings and a halo was in your kitchen telling you he was your Cupid. Eros decided he would do it! Who cares? He would just explain the whole thing.

You heard a soft sound of wings fluttering and a gust of wind hit you. You shivered thinking a window was open and quickly turned around to go shut it. Instead of seeing that open window, you saw a breath-taking man stand in the middle of your kitchen.

His wings flapped nervously under your stare and he instinctively fiddled with his fingers trying to muster up the courage to speak in-front of the human that he’s always obessed over. He couldn’t speak, his throat caught all the words he thought of saying.

You observed the tall man that nervously stood, saying nothing. He was very attractive and his brown hair was neatly groomed. There was a golden yellow halo that rested in the air above his head.

He had hazel eyes that were fixated on you. They looked entranced by you but that didn’t distract you from what was connected to his back. He had large white feathery wings that were soft and bright. His wings hinted that they would flicker when he was nervous.

“What the hell” You shortly said after a long silence.

“H-hello! My name is Eros, I’m your designated Cupid.” He stopped fiddling with his fingers and inhaled to try and receive confidence to speak with this silly little human that he was infatuated with.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” You finally came to your senses and started to scramble away and threw anything that was on the counter which was a glass mug that he dodged. Glass was shattered as he caught it and put it on your kitchen table.

“Hey! Hey! Calm down human” He put both of his hands up noticing how scared you were. You looked like a poor frightened feral cat!

“Get out!!!” You threw more little things at him and he quickly noticed you were not calmed by his words. Despite your greatest efforts he caught up to you and grabbed the thing that was next in line to hit him.

“Calm down my little human, let me explain everything” Eros managed to pin you against your kitchen wall and you squirmed under his strong grasp. After getting the obvious fact that he was stronger, you stopped fighting back.

“Alright” You blew your hair out of your face and sighed finally deciding to listen to his words.

“I am your Cupid! Every human gets their own Cupid that decides things for their humans well-being. My name is Eros and I’ve noticed you’ve been a little frustrated about your love life so I came to help you personally!” His wings folded and rested on his back while he kept his now less tight grip against your wrists that were still pinned against the cabinet.

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and hot under his close proximity. The both of you were sat on the floor after he confined you with his body. He was almost pressed against you and your face was completely red.

You nodded along his words trying to compose yourself, which was hard against a beauty that was so close to you. You honestly hated the fact his face made your stomach feel strange. Your stomach walls clenched around nothing and it felt empty.

“So! Are you good now, my love?” He brought his hand up to your face and twirled a strand of your hair. He loved how soft it felt, he wondered if you’d let him continue.

“Yeah…” You murmured, still embarrassed that he was so close.

“Good! Let’s start talking about everything!” Eros excitedly stopped pinning you and helped you up rather easily as if you were a plush doll with no weight. His wings flicked in happiness that you were now cooperating.

The two of you went to your living room and he was eager to start talking about your love life. He was sat close and acted as if you were his lover! You could feel his wings wrap around you as they brought you closer to him.

“Is this what you do with all your clients?” You tried laughing your nervousness off. You were sat in-front of him and both of you sat with your legs crossed, facing each other.

“You’re my only client right now! And no, with the other ones I’ve had, I don’t treat them the way I do with you!” He grinned. “It’s a good thing though! You’re special to me!”

“So.. are you the reason all my dates have failed? I’ve been really frustrated about it and I didn’t realize someone was behind it” You looked up at Eros instead of looking at your hands.

“Yeah! And I’m sorry about it, I know it might seem mean but it’s because I believed it was in your best interest that you didn’t continue your interactions with them. All your date’s cupids also agreed!” Eros was lying straight through his teeth. He knew none of the Cupids that he interacted with agreed, but he still managed to convince them that there was another person for their clients.

He wanted you to himself! Why couldn’t a Cupid have a human lover of their own? He knew it wasn’t ideal for a Cupid to be with a client of theirs but who cares? Love is love and if a Cupid wanted to be with a human then it should be allowed!

You noticed a certain glint in your Cupids eyes, he looked lost in thought about something. He likely didn’t hear what you said. You tapped his knee trying to get his attention and his pretty white wings puffed up in a flustered manner.

“Sorry! I was lost in thought. What did you say?” He was now attentively looking at you. His hazel eyes wouldn’t leave your eyes for a moment with his mind refocused on you.

“It’s okay, i was just asking if you could tell me about my future love life? Or is that against like Cupid rules or something?” You were curious about the Cupid who could basically do anything to your future.

“Hmm, I think.. I should leave it as a surprise. I don’t want to spoil the present for you!” Eros couldn’t help but giggle happily.

“Okay, if you think it’s a good thing then I don’t mind not knowing” You smiled.

“Trust me! It’s the best surprise you could ever even dream about” He got giddy thinking about it. Obviously, you were not aware of the prize. But the prize was him! Your Cupid was going to be your lover forever and ever!

“Thanks for taking care of my love life and stuff, I know it’s like your job but I appreciate it” You tried to not mumble your words together but it was a little embarrassing to thank a stranger who’s been in control of your life since likely birth.

“No problem! I love you so much! I’ll always take care of you and your well-being” Eros leaned towards you and hugged you. You felt his body fit yours like a very intricate puzzle that was solved. His wings embraced you, wrapped around your back. You felt his soft wings against the thin fabric you wore and his body shared its warmth in the hug he gave with yours.

A very tight warm hug. A hug that likely sealed your fate of being stuck in an endless loop with this Cupid that would likely never go away! Eros was so happy you had accepted it! Now you’d be mates, and love each other for all of eternity.

[bg3-bitching]

Re the same 2 conversations happening over and over, I want to submit another recurring theme that comes up so frequently it’s nearly impossible to avoid: the idea that an “imperfect survivor” like Astarion really needs compassion and patience from others—except in the context of this game, this innocuous-on-its-own idea is overwhelmingly framed as “therefore a good person would stick with Astarion through his cruelty and sexual manipulations because he needs to be cruel and sexually manipulate you in order to feel safe, but give him time and he’ll get better!” And anyone who expresses basic dislike for Astarion’s early behavior is told “but stick with him and he has the best development” at best, and at worst, “you must hate stories of survivors who aren’t ‘perfect.’” Where to begin with the conflations and assumptions? As though it’s impossible to be a survivor or care about survivors and not love this cruel, manipulative, abusive character. As though it is never valid for anyone worthy of respect to find Astarion’s early behavior a dealbreaker. As though finding Astarion’s actual cruelty and sexual manipulations too high a price to pay for whatever development he has later is a sign of an inferior moral character in real life. And don’t get me started on the tendency to call holding Astarion accountable for his cruel words and actions “victim-blaming.” In a word, yikes?

Which brings me to another point about this character being less than groundbreaking: “you owe it to a cruel man to stay with him and endure him treating you badly because he’s only cruel as a result of his past suffering and he will get better through your love” is not a new message at ALL. Especially not to women. And while I will give it to the game that this wasn’t necessarily intended in the writing, too often this is exactly what a lot of the gushing about Astarion’s character falls into and regurgitates. It can be a bad time to run into that over and over again, especially combined with other characters being vilified in comparison with Astarion. It can feel as though the efforts to drive home that “you never owe someone who is cruel to you a relationship, it is not your moral obligation to fix them through your love, you are not a bad or unkind person for leaving to protect yourself” is being directly combatted. Even though I know it’s just a game, when the rhetoric about “why Astarion matters so much” takes this form, it can feel really hostile. Rather than expanding awareness and empathy for all survivors, it often feels like another game of “this cruel white man’s pain matters more than other people’s safety.”

(Disclaimer about “not every Astarion fan says these things, just enough to be a disturbing pattern and impact one’s experience in general fan spaces,” etc.)

I have a response to this, but I'm gonna do a separate reblog for it.

This ask by itself needs to stand alone and be seen.

[teddie-bear420]

Swap Au!! I call it “cold hazbin hotel”

Emily moonstone wants to redeem sinners and get to heaven with the help of her butler lute!

Lots of doodles and ramblings under the cut,

if you have any input or jokes or questions send them to me!!

So this swap starts at the very beginning! Lucifer is a big goodie two shoes who doesn’t express his real feelings and is kinda just heavens doormat. Sera on the other hand is driven by fairness and when she sees Adam mistreating Lilith she intervenes. This gets her sent down to hell with Lilith and they start ruling hell with all the sinners. At some point both Lilith and sera stop caring about the state of hell and the sinners establish the overlords that rule territory’s and all that. Around the time that Emily is born sinners like alastor and husk are well established overlords.

Back in heaven, corruption spreads to leadership and Lucifer (as head archangel) kinda just lets it happen. He still runs the show but he doesn’t stand up for what he believes in anymore. Very weak man, thin wrists… dainty even. Adam is still the general of the Exorcist army and nobody holds any one accountable in heaven and the requirements to get into heaven are raised to in unachievable amount!

Sera and Emily are very close, they talk almost everyday, when Emily starts to grow into an adult sera kinda panics and strains the relationship (Emily’s got mommy issues). Emily’s time spent in sin city leads her to starting the hotel with the Dino chick to hinder the overpopulation in hell (jk she just really wants to see heaven)

So Emily is the heir to a stolen kingdom

Lucifer still has Charlie in heaven and she fills Emily’s role of keeping everyone happy. In this swap he shelters Charlie for any hardships or even having her work for anything, so Charlie is a nepotism baby (in the normal show Charlie went no contact with her dad and built the hotel ground up) her job is to keep everyone joyful!

Charlie is ignorant to the horrors

Vaggie and lute are a little harder to explain cuz I still have no real idea how to approach making lute a sinner cuz uhh.. she already is one. I do know I wanna keep her antennae bangs…Pink to blue….Bug motif…Transition allegory?? You decide

Lute will probably have butler butch vibes, she’s very servant like

But! I see vaggie getting to second in command and becoming a beast. The most ruthless demon slayer ever man, she fights the biggest demons she can find just for the fun of it. She still bulks up (you can take buff vaggie from my cold dead hands)!! She is assigned to protect the arch angel Charlie from quote…

“naughty individuals” -Lucifer (he means Adam)

Their dynamic is very silly, vaggie has to keep Charlie safe from things like assassins, perverts, technology and a goose. We all know that lute struck vaggie down cuz she was gay right? Well that still happens, but vaggie wins the fight (also being egged on by Adam) and ever since she’s looked for a fight so bad she ends up joining lute (warriors bond and all that)

EMILY IS A LAWYER HAHAHAHAHHA AND A BUTCH

Basically she wants to change the heaven standard the lawful way (sera was a court judge after all) think musicals like legally blond, that one Hamilton song, and the death note musical.

She and Charlie get along well enough, it does gag Emily when she finds out that Charlie doesn’t know what a minimum wage job is.

Ok so the main cast gets swapped with the over lords as you can see, the overlords I chose now look much younger, tho carmilla and Rosie are my milfs forever. Velvet is now an intern trying to get out of hell (she hates the heat) vox is now kinda just an obsessive fan boy, carmilla wants to go to heaven to see her daughters again. That Dino chick is the first guest, Emily wants to tame her inner fire (girl style)

Emily has always wanted to see the garden of Eden, so when she comes up with a way to redeem sinners she hopes to visit heaven with them! I’m gonna doodle around with her demon bits,

THATS IT FOR NOW

Will maybe post more

[wonysugar]

it’s so over for me…. ch. 7

starbies~~ (half written)

a/n: I’M SO SORRY FOR BASICALLY POSTING THIS CHAPTER NOW😭i originally wanted to post it yesterday but thenvoekfke i passed out,,, so sorry. so uhm?? next chapter coming out later today<33 thank you

running into ning today wasn’t something you had originally planned, since, you know, you barely even go to starbucks in the first place. today was just some sort of craving you randomly got while doing your assignments.

you approached her, laying gentle taps on her shoulder, causing her to turn around. her resting bitch face immediately turning into a wide grin upon seeing you. you were flattered, in a way. you never really doubted your guys’ friendship, but you didn’t except such an enthusiastic reaction from her.

“oh. my. god. y/n!!! it’s so great seeing you!” she exclaimed, grabbing you by the arm and jumping up and down which earned very intense stares from the other customers there with you, and despite not usually wanting to draw any attention, you didn’t really give a fuck about it, you still quietly greeted her back, wearing a bright smile.

she offered to pay for your drink, to which you hesitantly accepted, despite her being very financially stable for a college student. plus, you never really go to starbucks, so, after reluctantly accepting, you told her to get you whatever she thought was good. she proceeded to order some sort of thing that sounded like a cryptic harry potter spell, to which the barista apparently immediately understood.

you acquired your order minutes before she did, so you took the chance to settle at the closest table. it didn’t take long for her to sit down facing you, her hand holding a bag containing a chocolate chip cookie with her pinkie and somehow managing to grab ahold of some unknown drink. her other hand holding what seemed to be a… pumpkin spice latte..? you weren’t too experienced, but pretty much everyone knew what a pumpkin spice latte was.

“i didn’t peg you for a white girl, ning.” you said, jokingly squinting your eyes at her as she rolls hers.

“oh shut upp.. that one isn’t even for me,” she vaguely motions at the ‘forbidden’ drink, “aeri asked me to get it for her.” she clarified, your eyebrows unconsciously lifting themselves up. aeri, huh.

whatever, you didn’t care about her. you never did, so why were you so.. immediately uptight at the thought of her?? quickly, you switched the topic of the conversation and focused on talking about other things. the exams coming up, future hangout plans, both of your friend groups.

“oh yeah, i forgot to tell you, by the way, there was like this one private account on twitter that dmed me, and they were like?? asking to kiss me or whatever and it happened the same day you guys went apeshit and like.. apologized about it yesterday.” you quickly took a sip from your very good drink, kept note that ning had incredibly good taste, then carried on, “the apology in question was mostly just them being an ass, so. that was weird!” you giggled.

upon looking at her expression, you noticed that she didn’t seem to find it as humorous as you did. instead, she looked like she was trying to force out a fake giggle, but couldn’t.

“girl, you good?”

“no yeah. i am. i’m great, even.” she cleared her throat, taking comically large sips of her drink, basically finishing all of it in one go. what the fuck?

you stared at her dead-panned, you knew her, you knew that looking at her that way would eventually get her to say what’s on her mind.

and you were correct in thinking that!

“ughh okay don’t tell anyone i told you this and under no circumstances do you tell this to aeri but… okay so we-got-really-drunk-and-high-and-she’s-the-one-that-sent-you-those-messages-and-the-account-she-used-was-her-private-one—“

she then stared at you, apparently expectant of something. the only thing that you could do at that moment was pull out your phone and open up twitter.

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[hms-no-fun]

so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)

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so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once

FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!

i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.

i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.

this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!

like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.

i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.

that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.

so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.

the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.

what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.

as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.

as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways

[shiny-kaibernyte]

Could you write toothpaste having a huge crush on the player character, and the other BB league members teasing him for it? I love this account, your writing is amazing :)

Apologies this took so long! I hope you like it and I do hope you don't mind i went for the headcannons style for this one. 💜💜

Pokémon Headcannons | Drayton x Reader (Crush)

Pokémon Scarlett and Violet DLC Spoilers ahead!

He may not be the best with words, but he tries his best.

Warnings: Pure fluff

SPOILER WARNING: Mild Spoilers for the Main SV game and both DLC Stories and characters.

This man is terrible at hiding his crush for you. He may think he’s being smooth with it; but the moment you walk into the room, he could be mistaken for a Magby with a flush his face goes.

His head's like a battlefield. He’s having a Pokémon battle in his head about what to say to you. Should he buy you something? Take you out on a date? Should he ask Carmine for help? Do you like apples?

He wouldn’t dare ask Lacey for help, the torment and teasing she would give him would haunt his dreams forever.

Surprisingly Drayton would feel the need to ask Crispin, that did not go well to say the least. Crispin told him to make you feel that shows his love for you. It's a good thing Drayton had Crispin try it first… he’ll never fully recover.

You however are somehow none the wiser to his crush. To you he's just benign Drayton with added clumsiness now. Which if you're honest makes him kind of adorable watching him fumble over things and try to fix them but failing. 

It would take him a long time to confess to you, mainly because every time he goes to he backs out because he thinks it will ruin your special friendship. He cares for you too much to risk that.

This pattern continues until Carmine drags him to one side and basically scolds him for talking his time, gives him a swift kick up the butt and off he goes to find you. 

Kieran would be snickering from the side at Drayton’s confidence drop but overall would support him from the side-lines. Even if he won’t admit it.

His confession didn’t go how he had planned. But it worked anyway. He tried desperately to find the words to express his feelings but always came up short. No matter how far he walked or how much he wrapped his brain around the words. Nothing. 

Once he sees your face, your smile, just you. He folds completely. The words don’t form but his actions do all the talking for him.

That confident demeanour leaves him just for a moment and instead is replaced by a more caring and cautious side. Gently taking your hands into his, speaking no words. Drayton simply admires you for a moment, watching your features trying to read how you feel before kissing you.

[callsign-rogueone]

intimacy alphabet - a.g.

Aaric Graycastle x gn!reader

The A to Z’s of sleeping with Aaric. (anybody remember this template from back in the day? if you do, it’s time to open a retirement account.)

words: 1.4k

🏷: NSFW. no real plot spoilers, just some stuff about Aaric, so if you haven’t met him yet, maybe skip this one and come back later lol. anyway, this is just a bunch of sexy headcanons about our sweet prince. mentions of penetrative sex, oral, and fingering, (all reader receiving) but I made it gender neutral.

I did this for research and development for his upcoming girlfriendverse fic (which I am writing completely out of order, of course), but I figured I’d give it to y’all as an apology / peace offering because I haven’t been feeding you much lately. enjoy! :)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

ever the gentleman; cleans you both up and makes sure that you’re okay, gives you soft praise. very nice to cuddle with; he’s content to let you use him like a body pillow and just wrap yourself around him and fall asleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his own build; he’s tall (as tall as Xaden, I believe) and pretty well-muscled from all of his intense training over the years. he likes the softer parts of you that he can press his fingers into, likes the feeling of your bare skin under his hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

standard stuff. will cum where you tell him to, no strong feelings about it. he’s a very clean guy, so he’ll wipe it up quickly after.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

thinking about his biggest secret of all… if you happen to let out a soft “oh, fuck, Cam,” when he’s buried deep inside you, he might stop being so gentle. but a truly dirty secret? hm… I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

look me in the eye and tell me that the rebellious youngest prince of the Navarrian royal family hasn’t been around the block a bit. he’s had people falling at his feet for years because of his status.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

fond of missionary, you riding him, or anything where he can see your face and the cute little expressions you make when he’s making you feel good (and have you look into those gorgeous green eyes of his while he takes you apart. he’s very much into eye contact.)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he does not strike me as a “funny guy”. he’s pretty serious, but will laugh with you about small things like if you accidentally bump heads when changing positions, etc. (then he’ll kiss it better and go back to business as usual)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he keeps his face clean-shaven, so he’s probably doing some maintenance downstairs, too. he’s a very neat and tidy guy.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

pretty romantic, but not like, trail-of-rose-petals type romantic. just a lot of eye contact, soft praise, and definitely some “I love you’s” later on in the relationship. I don’t see him as a casual sex guy — I think he’s done with that phase of his life and he’d rather pick one person and love them with his whole heart.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t think he takes matters into his own hands very often. he doesn’t strike me as a very horny guy, and it’s hard to find the time and space to crank one out when you’re living in college dorms with a roommate (and trying not to die all the time). he much prefers to do things with you instead, anyway.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

some things I’ve mentioned already; praise, eye contact, you saying his name… idk if its a kink per se, but he wants to hear you. he loves all the soft sounds you make when you’re needy (being vocal during a makeout session is almost sure to escalate things). he gets off on getting you off, and it gives his ego a boost to know he’s making you feel so good that you can’t form words, just pretty little moans and whimpers.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his room or yours, that's it. he’s not an exhibitionist; he values his reputation, and doesn’t want to get either of you into trouble. you might be able to convince him to mess around in the shower before / after the main event, but that’s about it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you, and the fact that you’re his. I know that feels like a cop-out answer, but it’s true. he’ll look over and see you in his bed in the morning, the early sunlight warming your skin, and he's ready to go.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I absolutely cannot see him wanting to be called by his title, etc. nope. no way. he despises it, and he also wants to know that you love him for him, and not his status. he also doesn’t want to hurt you during sex — there’s enough pain in your lives already. when that door closes behind you, it's only soft touches and gentle pleasure.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he had done more receiving than giving until he met you. he learned what you like (and how much he likes giving it to you) very quickly and now he won’t hesitate to get on his knees for you, especially if you ask nicely. he likes to use his mouth and hands at the same time for maximum effect. he’ll never decline head from you either, but it doesn’t happen often; he’s more focused on you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he fucks like a prince: proper. usually nice and deep and slow, taking his time with you and making you feel every movement. on occasion, if you rile him up enough or piss him off, he might give it to you (see also: make you take it) a little rougher.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

see above. has only happened once, and it kinda backfired (you ended up being late to formation and getting bitched at by the wingleader). now he won’t try anything unless he has at least an hour alone with you (enough for proper foreplay and some aftercare.)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

the two of you will experiment a little bit, mostly with new movements, etc., but you keep things pretty simple. if it ain’t broke… (and it certainly isn’t).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

your record is three rounds in one night, four if you count the morning after. you haven’t really had the time to try and beat it; school and training takes a lot out of you, and you’d simply rather sleep sometimes — but you’re both content to keep things at one round most nights, or just cuddle instead.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I don’t see him owning or using toys (though it remains unclear what options they have in this universe). after he manifests a signet, that might come into play depending on what it is, but for now he feels like he has plenty of options already (his fingers, tongue…)

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s not a huge tease, but will make you ask for nearly everything with words, even if it's embarrassing to you, but he wants to know that you truly want this, and he finds it so cute to hear you beg for him and only him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s a talker, telling you how good you feel around him, how pretty you look under him, etc. sound-wise, if he’s in control, you’ll just get the occasional soft gasp / panting. if you’re in control, you might hear some whimpering… either way, he sounds so pretty. you should tell him that, and see what happens (the praise kink goes both ways.)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he only saw sex as a way to fulfill a biological need until he met you, and realized it could be so much more — he’s never truly loved any of his hookup partners. definitely some things he had to unpack there after your first time.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s tall, and pretty lean… the laws of nature dictate that he’s hung. I don’t make the rules.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

not super high, but he usually rolls with you — if you’re down, he’s down. simple as that.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he can’t fall asleep until you do, but that usually isn’t a problem; he’ll tire you out / relax you real nice every time. A+ cuddler, as we discussed earlier.

there you have it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m very excited for y’all to meet Aaric and Sunny. two sneak peeks posted so far + a few thousand more words in my docs, hehe

[luv4-liv]

❝You know what the best thing about having a baby is, honey?"❞

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Reader

Warnings: SMUT. +18. unprotected sex (do not do it please¡¡!). neck mark. sex in the kitchen. etc.

Summary: basically, Loki with the idea that he wants a baby, mostly for the timing of it.

The plot of this One Shot is totally mine and my imagination.

You can find it in Spanish on my wattpad account (piscessbabyy)

Remember that English is not my language so it may contain several errors, please be patient with me

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Mar and Loki were arguably at the best point in their relationship.

A few months ago they took a very big step. They had bought an apartment, and were living there together, just the two of them.

But Loki wanted more.

Mar was washing the dishes, while her boyfriend was standing next to her talking to her.

"Mar.." he called out to her for the fourth time in the last ten minutes.

"Tell me."

"We should have a baby." he blurted out as if it was nothing.

She laughed, expecting traces of a joke in his facial expression, but nothing.

"Mhm, forget it."

"What, why? You have to have a baby." he hugged her from behind

"Since when do you like babies?"

"Since the idea of having them with you."

Loki brushed her hair aside and began to leave soft kisses on her neck.

Mar sighed closing the faucet.

"Loki.."

"You know what the best thing about having a baby is, honey?" she shook her head, enjoying his caresses. "The time to do it."

He began to leave nibbles on Mar's neck, unable to contain himself.

She closed her eyes and Loki pulled her up onto the kitchen counter.

Holding onto the counter, she looked into his eyes. Suddenly she felt her breathing was heavy, but at the same time her pulse was racing a thousand-fold.

It didn't take long for him to get rid of his wife's blouse.

"You are so beautiful.."

Loki went further, all the way down to the moment he had her on the counter. His lips bit her until she had to moan with each bite. His eyes were riveted on her, on her neck and chest.

Her gasp as she felt his lips on each bite was a sound that made Loki pause for a moment, so he could start again with more force.

With each bite Loki was as if he had a fiery bonfire inside him, which caused him the need to give more and more kisses and bites.

With one hand, he began to caress her thighs, then made her spread her legs apart, and led his hand between them.

With his hand he reached a spot for Mar, very sensitive to touch, so he put her in a situation where she had to moan.

Loki pushed her underwear aside and began to touch her, leaving her with a blank mind, causing her to do nothing but moan.

Meanwhile, he was kissing her much harder, he could do nothing but let himself be carried away by his senses and be taken away by desire.

"Loki.." she held his wrist, her eyes remained closed, which let Loki know that she was very close.

A few minutes later, she was able to release that knot inside him, moaning even louder, if that was possible.

Loki exhaled from the need he felt so badly and looked at Mar, as she recovered from her panting and moaning from what had just happened.

He quickly removed his pants along with his underwear, he really needed her.

He looked at her for a few seconds, her chest rising and falling, trying to recover from her recent orgasm.

He went back to her and pulled down her underwear, still leaving her skirt on.

He moved closer so he could kiss her, no longer as intensely, but with all the feeling in the world. He lined himself up to her, and slowly entered.

Her gasp was inevitable, as her moans became more intense and his were in breathy tones. They were both being brought to experience a very intense moment.

Loki inside felt on top of the world, as he felt on par with her in this very unique moment.

It wasn't the first time, but they felt that every time they did it, it was just as amazing, and even better.

Meanwhile, Mar was experiencing the same feeling of Loki being on the counter, as this was happening.

It felt like her moans were not coming from her throat, but from her body, which was being shocked by what she was doing, her back was bumping against the wall from time to time, and sweat was covering them both.

His breathing was of the purest need, the one that was a mix between a gasp with breath.

Loki felt very close to reaching the peak, meanwhile, he felt his girlfriend's breathing intensifying.

In the Asgardian's mind, it was as if his whole body was on fire, the same bonfire he had felt before and now he felt the heat was inside him. He wasn't that far into that climb and Mar was letting him know it with her gasps.

The moment the two of them felt so close, the panting got louder, as they felt it was only a short time away from where they had been waiting for so long.

"Loki.. almost there.." she moaned.

"Come on.. You can do it." gasped Loki a little earlier, implying that it was almost nothing left to reach the highest point they had both wanted to feel all the time.

Their gasps and breaths mingled until the moment they both made a noise in unison. They both cried out as they reached their long desired climax together.

Loki had no words to express what had just happened, what he was feeling and what he was beginning to feel, only enough for him to breathe in tandem with Mar, after what they had just experienced. They had never felt it so intensely.

His hands caressed her without stopping, to let her know the sensations that were inside her after what had happened, while Mar could feel that warm liquid inside her.

With one hand and without stopping caressing every inch of her body, Loki approached her lips and began to kiss her. There were only two words to say everything she was feeling at that moment.

"I love you.." she declared first

"I love you more.." said Loki to then kiss her again with more intensity.

Their lips parted for a moment, just to breathe and then she took the opportunity to speak.

"I think we can think about the baby.." Loki smiled at that.

[whoslai]

Off The Menu - Lee Heeseung (Chapter 4)

genre: angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, eventual smut!! (you’re responsible for what you consume, read at your own risk)

warnings: phone sex, unprotected sex, implied sexual images, arguments, slight manipulation, stalker-ish tendencies (lowkey warranted tho) ⚠️

send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged! thank you to all my new followers, you guys are amazing for supporting me. please interact and give me as much feedback as you’d like (don’t be an ass tho, no need to spread negativity.

not proof read, sorry for any typos in advance.

word count: 15.8k (sry…)

link to series masterlist or whatever

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Chapter 4: “You’re mine.”

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Driving back to the campus was harder than driving to LA; You couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off between Heeseung and this girl named Hana. You knew that Heeseung wasn’t loyal to you, but you couldn't help feeling jealous and insecure about their relationship.

When you arrived at your school, you found yourself distracted and unable to focus on purchasing a flight back home for winter break. You kept checking your phone, hoping that Heeseung would call or text you, but there was no sign of him.

As the day wore on, you found yourself becoming increasingly anxious and worried. You couldn't help but wonder what Heeseung was doing and who he was talking to. You tried to focus on your many chores, but your mind kept drifting back to Heeseung and Hana.

Eventually, you successfully bought a flight on Sunday morning, but you still couldn't take Heeseung’s absence anymore. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands; You pulled out your laptop and searched for Heeseung on social media. After many failed attempts at finding his account, you came across it. He had a few posts here and there, not much of a social media presence. Quite a few followers, quite a few following. You made your way through his comments and his following, but couldn’t find her. Soon, you were looking through each post like count, and stumbled across an account.

hanabanana_04

Okay, basic bitch username, born in 2004. Your eyes shifted down to the singular mutual you both shared; Namika, a girl in your organic chemistry class. Should you text Namika and ask about Hana? Surely if you asked, you’d raise red flags around yourself, you didn’t want to seem obsessive but you couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty.

You decided to take a deep breath and text Namika. You wanted to approach the conversation with sensitivity and respect, so you carefully crafted a message that expressed your curiosity without coming across as obsessive.

“hey namika, hope you’re well. just reaching out to see if you know a girl named hana?” - You

You sent the message and waited nervously for a response. You wondered if Namika would think you were being nosy or invasive, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of uncertainty about Heeseung and Hana.

After a few minutes, Namika responded.

“Hey Y/N, yes, I know a Hana Birkinson. Is she the one you’re referring to?” - Namika

You felt relieved that Namika responded positively and that she knew Hana. You replied back to her message, trying to keep the conversation casual.

“i suppose so. u know her well?” - You

Namika replied back quickly, and you could sense her curiosity about why you were asking about Hana.

“Yeah, we grew up together down in Malibu. Why?” - Namika

You paused for a moment, trying to decide if you should be honest with Namika about your concerns regarding Hana's relationship with Heeseung. After considering your options, you decided to open up to her.

“hm, do you know if she is single?” - You

She read your text, beginning to type back but then quickly deleted it.

“It would be easier if we talked in person. Are you still on campus? Could you meet me in the dining hall?” - Namika

You nodded to yourself, “yes, that works.” - You

You felt a mix of curiosity and nervousness as you agreed to meet Namika in person to discuss Hana. You quickly gathered your things and made your way to the dining hall, trying to keep your thoughts in check.

When you arrived, you saw Namika sitting at a table in the corner, and you made your way over to her.

"Hey, Namika. Thanks for meeting me," you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

"No problem, Y/N. So, what's going on? Why are you asking about Hana?" Namika asked, looking at you with concern.

“Well, there’s this guy — “ You began, but were soon cut off.

“Heeseung, I’m guessing. You liked a guy down in Malibu named Heeseung.” She smiled, looking up at you.

You were surprised that Namika had guessed so quickly, but you nodded in confirmation.

“Yes, Heeseung. I met him down in Malibu — “ You were cut off again.

She sighed, “At Moonshadows @ Malibu where he’s a night shift waiter. Do you like him?”

“Well, I mean…we are kind of seeing each other right now.” You told her, “It’s a bit hard to explain.”

Namika looked at you with a mix of surprise and concern. "Seeing each other? What do you mean? Are you two in a relationship?" she asked, her tone indicating that she was worried about the situation.

You took a deep breath and tried to explain the complicated dynamic between you and Heeseung. "It's not really a relationship per se. We've been talking and hanging out, but it's been a little confusing. I don't really know what we are," you admitted, feeling a little embarrassed.

Namika listened attentively, and you could sense her understanding and empathy. “Well, there’s not much to say about Hana besides the fact that she used to be entangled with him.”

“As in…past tense?” You asked.

“Maybe you should talk to her about it. I’m sure she’d be understanding, she’s pretty cool.” She said, “Here, I’ll give you her number.”

You felt a mix of relief and apprehension at the thought of talking to Hana about her past with Heeseung. Part of you wanted to know more about their relationship, but another part of you was afraid of what you might find out.

"Thanks, Namika. I appreciate your help and support," you said, taking Hana's number from her. You decided to take some time to think things through before reaching out to Hana. You knew that you needed to be honest with her about your feelings for Heeseung and your concerns about their past, but you also didn't want to cause any unnecessary drama.

You thanked Namika and made your way back to your dorm room. As you sat down at your desk, you couldn't help but think about Heeseung and Hana and the complicated dynamic between them. You knew that you needed to talk to someone about your feelings, but you also knew that you needed to take some time to process everything before making any decisions. While you were relieved they weren’t dating or anything, you were upset and afraid; Why was Heeseung connected to another girl that was your age? Why did he lie about her being a friend from work?

You decided to take a break from thinking about Heeseung and Hana and focused on something else. You pulled out your laptop and started working on a paper that was due next week. As you typed away, you felt your mind start to clear, and you could feel yourself becoming more focused.

After a few hours, you finished the paper and decided to take a break. You checked your phone and saw that you had a message from Heeseung.

“Hey Y/N, do you want to call now?” - heeseung <3

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether you wanted to talk to Heeseung right now. You still had a lot of questions and concerns about his relationship with Hana, and you didn't know if you were ready to confront him about it.

But part of you also wanted to hear his voice and talk to him about how you were feeling. You missed him and wanted to know what he was up to.

After some pondering, you finally decided to call him.

Hey, Heeseung. How's it going?" you said, trying to keep your tone casual.

“Ahh, Y/N, it’s better now that I’m hearing your voice. Are you enjoying your break?” He asked.

You felt a small smile tug at the corners of your mouth at Heeseung's words. Despite the complicated situation between you, you still enjoyed talking to him. "Yeah, it's nice to have a break from classes and relax for a bit," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light.

Heeseung agreed, and the two of you talked for a while, catching up on each other's lives. But as the conversation continued, you couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. You wanted to ask him about Hana, but you didn't know how to bring it up without sounding accusatory.

Eventually, you decided to take a deep breath and be honest with him. "Heeseung, can I ask you something?" you said, your voice a little shaky.

He sighed, “Of course you can. What’s up?”

“Who is Hana?” You asked, being upfront with him.

There was a brief moment of silence on the other end of the line, and you could feel your heart racing as you waited for Heeseung's response.

“Hmmm…Hana. Sounds familiar.” He said, “What does she look like?”

You felt a pang of disappointment at Heeseung's response. It seemed like he was trying to avoid the question.

“She’s around my age, brown hair, brown eyes, pretty. Ringing any bells?” You asked him.

“Oh, Hana Birkinson…I know her, she works at the restaurant with me. Why?” He asked.

You felt relieved to hear that Heeseung was telling the truth about working with Hana at the restaurant. You had been worried that he was hiding something from you.

"Okay, that's good to know. I just heard some rumors about you and Hana, and I wanted to make sure there wasn't anything going on between you two," you explained, your voice sounding a little more relaxed.

Heeseung let out a small chuckle. "No, Y/N. Hana and I are just coworkers. I promise."

You felt a weight lift off your shoulders at his words. "Okay, I believe you. I'm sorry for doubting you," you said, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Did someone tell you something about Hana and I?” he asked.

“Well, a friend told me that you two had some weird entanglement or something. Whatever that means…” You trailed off.

He was quiet for a bit, then he said, “Well, we weren’t always just coworkers.”

You felt your heart sink at his words. It seemed like your worst fears were coming true. "What do you mean, Heeseung?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Heeseung let out a sigh. "Hana and I used to mess around. It was a while ago, right as I began working with her at the restaurant. We broke up because things just weren't working out between us."

You felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you - anger, hurt, betrayal. You couldn't believe that Heeseung had kept something like this from you! "Why didn't you tell me before?" you asked, your voice sounding a little more forceful than you intended.

“Does it matter I used to fuck Hana?” He asked, his voice calm and collected, completely the opposite of your own.

“It matters because…” You trailed off, glancing at the ground.

“Because..? Because because because?” He said in a taunting manner, “Because you don’t want to become someone I just used to fuck. Someone like Hana. Right?”

You felt a surge of anger at Heeseung's words. How dare he try to twist the situation and make it seem like you were just jealous or insecure! "No, Heeseung. It's not about that. It's about honesty and trust. You lied to me about your past with Hana, and that's not okay," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Did I lie though? Didn’t I say she was a friend from work?” He asked, “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

You took a deep breath, feeling frustrated with Heeseung's attempts to downplay the situation. "Yes, you said she was just a friend from work, but you didn't tell me that you had a past with her. You deliberately kept that information from me, and that's not being honest." you explained.”

He sighed, “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

“You can’t just evade the conversation like that. Who is Hana and what did you two have going on…why was she calling you…and are you and her still in contact like before?” You asked him, “Just answer my questions, Heeseung. Please.”

He took a deep breath before beginning, “Hana is nothing but a friend, a coworker. Like I said, we weren’t anything more than what I said we were. She was most likely calling me because we work together, again, like I said. We’re still in contact, considering the fact that we work together.”

You listened to Heeseung's explanation, feeling a mix of emotions. On one hand, you were relieved that he was being honest with you about his past with Hana. But on the other hand, you still felt hurt knowing that he was most likely in a cycle of hooking up with girls. You probably meant nothing to him. “Well, what are we then? Do we have the same situation as you and Hana did?”

“No, you’re not Hana. Therefore, you aren’t in the same position as her.” He said. “Can we stop talking about Hana? I’m over it. I don’t like talking about the past.”

It seemed like he didn't want to talk about his past with Hana or the implications it had for your relationship. "Heeseung, I understand that you don't want to dwell on the past. But we need to talk about this if we want to move forward in our relationship," you said, your voice sounding a little strained.

You heard him shuffling around on the other end before he said, “Okay. I apologize.”

You took a deep breath, “Thank you for the apology. Now…um…can you do me a favor?”

“What is it?” He asked.

“Can you block Hana?” You asked him, “From social media, her number, everything. Block her.”

A small laugh came from his end of the phone before he said, “Hm, sure. Is there anything else you want to talk about before I go to work?”

“You have work tonight?” You asked him, falling back onto your bed.

“I do,” he said. “I have work on most nights.”

“Well…can you do something for me before you go to work?” You asked him.

“Like?”

You took a deep breath and said, “Well, considering I leave out on Sunday to go back home for a month…do you think you could…you know.”

“You have to tell me what you want.” He remarked. You felt a little bit nervous about asking Heeseung for a favor, but you knew that it was important to communicate your needs and wants.

“I’ve always wanted to try something…intimate over the phone and I would have asked you earlier this week but I’m just now gaining the confidence to ask.” You admitted all in one breath.

You felt a rush of nervousness and anticipation as you waited for Heeseung's response. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Are you talking about phone sex, Y/N?" he asked, his voice sounding a little bit surprised.

You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, but you knew that you had to be honest with him. "Yes, that's what I meant," you said, your voice sounding a little bit hesitant.

Heeseung paused for a moment before responding. “I’ve never tried it before.” He paused again. “Do you want to try it right now?”

“I do…because I can’t do much of anything when I’m home. Do you have time before work? Like 15-20 minutes?” You asked him.

“I have time.” He chuckled.

You were a little bit nervous but also excited at the prospect of trying phone sex with Heeseung. "Okay, let's give it a try," you said, your voice sounding a little bit more confident.

Heeseung chuckled again, his voice sounding warm. "Alright, let’s see…" he said. “Are you in your room alone?”

“I am..” You said, glancing up at the locked door to your bedroom, “My roommate already went home.”

Heeseung's voice sounded a little bit husky as he responded. "Good. I want you to make yourself comfortable and close your eyes," he said, his voice sounding a little bit more commanding.

You did as he asked, feeling afraid but also excited. You heard him take a deep breath before continuing. "Now, I want you to imagine that I'm there with you. I'm standing behind you, my hands on your shoulders. Can you feel my touch?" he asked, his voice low and sensual.

You closed your eyes, feeling a shiver run down your spine as you imagined Heeseung's hands on your shoulders. "Yes, I can feel it," you said, your voice sounding a little bit breathless.

He hummed, “Are you touching yourself yet?”

“No…” You choked, taken aback from his words. “I can…if you do it too.”

“Ah, right.” He said. You heard him place his phone down and go silent. You took that opportunity to slip your hand into your shorts, slowly beginning to touch yourself, imagining that Heeseung was there with you, touching you and exploring your body. His voice rang from the phone again. “Y/N, are you still there?" Heeseung's voice came through the phone, sounding a little bit husky.

You took a deep breath, feeling a little bit embarrassed but also aroused by the situation. "Yes, I'm still here," you said, your voice sounding a little bit breathless. “Can you…turn your camera on?”

He was quiet for a good minute or two before saying, “Only if you turn yours on.”

You quickly pressed the FT button and let it ring, waiting for him to answer. Once he finally did, you saw him glancing down at you before you interrupted the silence, “Turn it around so I can see what you’re doing.”

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before turning his camera around to show you himself. You nodded to yourself, “Okay…keep talking, please.”

You set your phone down beside you as you listened to the many things he said. From instructing you to quicken the pace of your fingers to causing you to reminisce on the very few but pleasure packed nights you’d spent with him. As Heeseung continued to talk, his voice became more and more intimate, guiding you and encouraging you every step of the way. You felt a sense of connection and trust with him, knowing that he was there for you and that he wanted to make you feel good.

The conversation drew to a close, you felt a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. You laid there, covering your face as you came down from your intense high.

“I don’t think I can go to work now. My pants are a mess.” He sighed out.

You laughed softly, feeling a little bit of amusement and satisfaction at the thought of Heeseung being unable to focus on work after your intense phone sex session. "Then maybe you can come to campus and see me before I leave." you said, your voice sounding a little bit breathless.

“You and these long drives you try to get me to do.” He said, “You do realize that it’s rush hour in Cali, right?”

“But I’m worth it, right?” You asked him, hoping for a yes.

Heeseung chuckled. "Of course you're worth it, Y/N. I would drive through rush hour traffic and across the country to see you," he said.

You smiled, "I’m happy to hear that." you said. “I’ll text you the address. Bring me something. I want to be surprised.”

Heeseung laughed, his voice sounding soft. "Sure, Y/N. I'll bring you something special," he said.

You felt a sense of excitement and anticipation at the thought of Heeseung bringing you a surprise. "Great, I can't wait to see what you come up with," you said.

Heeseung hummed. "Me too, Y/N. I'll see you soon," he said.

You both said your goodbyes before ending the call, feeling a little bit more connected and satisfied with your experience. You knew that phone sex wasn't a replacement for physical intimacy, but it was a way to explore your desires and fantasies with each other. You took a deep breath, feeling grateful for the moment you both had just shared.

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Time passed as you waited on Heeseung to arrive. With it already being late when you called him, you hoped he’d just decide to stay the night when he arrived. Not in your roommate's bed but on your own. You craved closeness with him.

As the minutes ticked by, you grew more and more impatient, wondering when he would finally arrive. But soon enough, your phone vibrated and you saw a text from him.

“The building door is locked.” - heeseung <3

You nodded to yourself, right. You forgot they locked the exterior doors during breaks. You made your way down the steps to the entrance and saw him standing on the other side of the door.

Once you let him in, he rubbed the top of your head, “Are you the only one still on campus?”

“I think that…some people are still here but not a lot. But, we do have my room to ourselves ~~” You told him, smiling at his small affections.

Heeseung smiled back at you, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. "Sounds perfect," he said.

You took his hand and led him up the stairs to your room, feeling a sense of intimacy and closeness building between you. You took his hand and led him up the stairs to your room, locking the door behind you both. You flipped the light on, “I’m currently gathering all my clothes because…I intend to stay for the entire break. I’m going to miss you.”

Heeseung's smile widened at your words, and he pulled you into his grasp by your waist. "I'm going to miss you too, Y/N," he said softly. "But I'm also looking forward to spending time with you tonight.”

��Are you staying over?” You asked him, resting your arms on his shoulders.

He smiled, nudging the tip of his nose against your own, “You’re going to get me fired.”

“Fired? How so?” You asked him.

“I’ve been distracted because of you and your many, many requests; Such a needy baby.”

You laughed softly, feeling a sense of playfulness and affection in his words. "Well, I can't help it if I want to spend time with you," you said, tracing circles in his hair.

Heeseung chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. Without speaking, he leaned in to catch your lips in a soft kiss. As you both kissed, you felt a sense of warmth and tenderness building between you both. You knew that spending time together would be a chance for you both to deepen your relationship and explore your desires and fantasies with each other. All you wanted was to have him to yourself. Forget Hana, forget any other girl he may have had a history with. You wanted his focus on you and you only. You were willing to do anything to keep him distracted.

“Did you block Hana?” You asked him, breaking away from the kiss.

“Not yet.” He replied, looking down at you.

“You said you’d do it.” You told him, feeling jealousy rise up inside of.

“I’m not 100% convinced. Maybe you should make me want to block her.” He coaxed.

You looked up at Heeseung, feeling a mix of surprise and frustration. "What do you mean, make you want to block her?" you asked, not sure if you understood him correctly.

"I mean, show me that you're worth blocking her for," Heeseung said, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Convince me that you’re worth prioritizing over any other distractions."

You felt a mix of emotions - part of you was flattered that he was communicating that he’d be willing to prioritize you, but another part of you was annoyed that he was making you compete for his attention. "I don't want to have to compete with that bitch.” you said, feeling a bit defensive.

"I'm not asking you to compete," Heeseung said, his expression softening. "I just want to see how far you’re willing to go."

“You’re making it like a competition.” You told him, “This is real life. I don’t like this cat and mouse thing. I don’t want to play games.”

“This isn’t a game, Y/N…” He sighed, “I just want to see how bad you want me. Unless…you don’t want me as much as you say you do.”

Frustration was all you felt. You wanted to express and show him how much he meant to you, but you couldn’t help but feel defensive. Hana was a threat, and you didn’t like that he was making it a joke. Again, downplaying your feelings.

“I want you.” You told him, “I really do.”

“Show me.” He said.

You glanced to the side and then back up at him, taking your hands down from his shoulders and stood still, “Show you?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” he asked.

You nodded, “Okay, what’s something you and Hana never tried?”

He squinted his eyes at me, “Where are you going with this?”

You took a deep breath, trying to keep your frustration in check. "I'm just trying to show you how much I care about you," you said. "And I want to do something special for you that Hana never did."

Heeseung looked at you. "Okay, I'm listening. What do you have in mind?"

“Just get down on the bed…on your back.” You told him, reaching over to your nightstand to place your phone down. Heeseung hesitated for a moment, but then he complied, lying down on his back on the bed. You climbed on top of him, straddling him and looking down at him with a mischievous grin.

"I want to try something new," you said, your voice low and sultry. "Something that Hana never did with you."

Heeseung's eyes widened with anticipation as you leaned in to kiss him. Your hands roamed over his chest, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt. You could feel the heat between you growing, and you knew that you were about to take things to the next level.

Slowly, you reached down to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. Heeseung's breath caught in his throat as you lowered your hand down to his boxers, feeling his hardness through the fabric. His dick throbbed in your grasp, signaling that he was more turned on than he was showing.

First, you wrapped your hand around the base of his length, stroking up and down slowly to help him get harder. Once you felt as though he was ready, you leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Are you ready?" Heeseung nodded, his eyes locked on yours.

You untied your shorts, tossing them to the ground as you pulled your panties to the side. Slowly but surely, you lowered yourself down, taking him inside of you, and you both gasped at the sensation. Being on top of him was different from him being on top of you. You hadn’t felt him this deep before, it was almost as if you felt his tip nearly penetrating your stomach.

Once you’d adjusted to his size, you rocked back and forth on top of him, you could feel the intensity building between you. Heeseung's hands gripped your hips tightly, and he moaned softly as you moved faster and faster.

You caught your lip between your teeth to hold back any loud moans, but he just felt too good. You felt every curve, every vein, every twitch.

Lost in the pleasure, you found yourself tearing your shirt off along with your bra, allowing him to see every part of your body from above.

Throwing your head back, you repositioned yourself and held onto his legs, resting back a bit.

His thumb reached up to rub your clit in small circles, helping you reach your peak sooner.

Finally, you both came together. His hands gripped your hips even tighter than before as he emptied out inside of you. Cum spilled out of you onto the bed sheets and his thighs, but you didn’t stop. As exhausted as you felt, you were marking him as your own. You didn’t want another thought of Hana ever coming across his mind. You were determined to make sure he was your first and last.

“Y/N…” His voice quivered as he looked up at you, sweat beading on his face. “What…what are you doing?”

You didn’t answer him, lifting yourself off of him as you got down and licked all of his cum from his thighs, making sure to not leave a drop.

With a final breath, you sat up and he grabbed your arms, pulling you to rest onto his chest. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“I wasn’t.” You smiled, nestling your head on his chest. “I just want to make sure I’m the only one on your mind.”

He took a deep breath, “You’re kind of nasty.”

“I am?” You asked him.

“Super nasty.” He kissed you once before fixing his shorts, “I like it.”

“Yay,” You tiredly cheered, “You're mine. I hope you know that.”

“Mmm.” He hummed, shifting over to wrap his arms around you, “I’m tired, I need to sleep.”

“Say it. Say you’re mine.” You said, sitting up a bit.

His eyes glazed over your face as he said, "I'm yours, Y/N," Heeseung said, his voice filled with sincerity and affection. "I'm all yours, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

You smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and happiness. "I'm yours too, Heeseung," you said, leaning in to kiss him softly.

Your eyes began to shut as you leaned against his touch, and soon, you were asleep.

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You woke up in your dorm room, feeling warm and comfortable wrapped in Heeseung's embrace. As you tried to sneak out of bed without waking him, he stirred and opened his eyes.

"Good morning," you said, giving him a small smile.

"Morning," he said, his voice still heavy with sleep. "What's for breakfast?"

You shrugged. "I was just going to grab something from the cafeteria. Want to come with?"

"Sure," he said, stretching his arms. "Let me grab my stuff."

After breakfast, you spent the day hanging out, exploring the city and doing some shopping. You enjoyed each other's company, but you both knew that this was just a casual arrangement. There were no promises of commitment or love between you two, just a mutual attraction and occasional intimacy.

You both made your way back to the dorm, but you sensed a bit of tension between you two. The last store you went to…you saw him glancing around, looking a bit uncomfortable. There wasn’t anything you’d said or done to him prior to going to the store, but you saw how quiet he’d been.

You locked the door to your dorm behind you, glancing at him who paid you no mine and looked down at his phone.

“Hey, are you okay?” You asked him.

Heeseung looked up from his phone, his expression guarded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said, his voice a little.

"You sure?" you asked, sensing that something was bothering him.

Heeseung hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I just...I don't know," he said, his voice trailing off. "I’m just thinking."

"About?" you asked, concerned in your voice.

“My boss texted me and said she wants to talk in person. I’ve been trying to get promoted to manager and I think…that this might be it.” He said.

You could see the tension in Heeseung's face as he spoke about his boss's message. "That's great news!" you said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "I’m sure you’ve been working hard for this."

Heeseung nodded, but you could tell that he was still worried. "I just hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing," he said. "I really want this promotion."

"I believe in you," you said, giving him a reassuring smile. "You're smart and talented, and you deserve this. Just go in there and show them what you're capable of."

Heeseung smiled back at you, looking a little more confident. "Thanks," he said. "I appreciate your support."

You both settled down on the bed, with Heeseung leaning against the wall and you sitting next to him. You talked about your day, trying to lighten the mood.

As you talked, you both started to relax and unwind. You shared stories about your friends and families, and laughed at some of the silly things that had happened to you recently. Heeseung told you about a funny encounter he had with one of his coworkers, and you couldn't help but giggle at the image in your head. You shared a few of your own stories, and before you knew it, you had both forgotten about the tension from earlier.

As the night wore on, you both found yourself getting a little sleepy. You snuggled up next to Heeseung, feeling his warmth and his steady breaths against your neck.

“I literally have to be out of here by 7 am.” You told him.

He nodded, “Maybe I should go home, yeah? Because I’m not getting up that early. I can tell you that right now.”

You nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. I don't want you to be late for work or anything."

Heeseung got up from the bed, grabbing his things and getting dressed. You watched him as he moved about the room, feeling a sense of fondness for him. You knew that your time together was limited, but you didn't want to dwell on that. You were just happy to have these moments with him, to share your intimacy and your connection.

“Before you leave,” You exclaimed, getting up from your bed, “Did you block Hana?”

He smiled a little, glancing down at his phone, “Not yet.”

“Do it before you leave. I can’t be hours away from you knowing that she still has contact with you.” You told him.

“Y/N, I work with her. It would be unprofessional to block her. She’s been covering my shifts when I spend time with you.” He admitted. “What am I to do if you suddenly call me up and I have no one to cover my shift because she’s mad I blocked her?”

You shrugged, “Not our problem. If I have to, I’ll get a job there and cover your shifts.”

He smiled, shook his head and pushed you, “You’re cute. But no really, I’m not blocking her.”

“I thought I convinced you.” You whined, holding your hand out, “At least let me remove her from your social media.”

“My social media?” He asked, “How do you know she follows me on instagram?”

“Uh…” You awkwardly laughed, “Whatttt?” Did I say that? Pff.”

His eyes widened as a smile crept on his face, “Were you stalking my social media? Trying to find Hana?”

You felt your cheeks heat up as you realized what you had just revealed. "Uh, no, of course not," you said, trying to play it cool. "I just happened to come across her profile when I was scrolling through your followers."

Heeseung chuckled, seeing through your lie. "Sure, sure," he said, teasingly. "But in all seriousness, I don't think blocking Hana is the right solution. We work together, and we need to maintain a professional relationship. Plus, I don't want any unnecessary drama."

“Just unfollow her and I’ll let it go.” You told him, crossing your arms.

He picked up his phone, standing beside you so you could see his screen. He clicked on her profile, removing her as a follower and unfollowed her. Then, he clicked the three dots and blocked her instagram profile, looking up at you after he was done.

“Happy?” He asked.

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "Thank you," you said. "I appreciate it."

Heeseung smiled at you, looking a little amused. "You're welcome," he said. "But you know that blocking her on Instagram doesn't mean we won't have to work together, right?"

You nodded, realizing that he had a point. "I know," you said. "But at least I won't have to see her liking your posts or commenting on your pictures."

“You don’t even follow me.” He scoffed, “You’re totally stalking me. So weird.”

You shoved him, grabbing your phone and following him on instagram, “There. I followed you.”

Heeseung laughed, shaking his head. "Finally," he said, teasingly. "I was wondering when you were going to follow me."

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but smile. "Shut up," you said, playfully pushing him away.

Heeseung chuckled, pulling you into a hug. "You're cute when you're jealous," he said, teasingly.

You blushed a little, feeling a mix of embarrassment and affection. "I'm not jealous," you protested, even though you knew it wasn't entirely true.

Heeseung just chuckled again, holding you close. "It's okay," he said. "I like it when you get a little possessive. It's cute."

You rolled your eyes again, but couldn't help but smile. You knew that Heeseung was just teasing you, but part of you also felt a sense of warmth and happiness at his words. You enjoyed the playful banter between you two, and you appreciated the way he made you feel.

As he got ready to leave, you hugged him tightly. "Take care of yourself," you said. "And good luck with your promotion."

"I'll let you know how it goes." He said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Call me while you're back home.”

“And if I don’t?” You teased me.

Heeseung grinned at you. "Then I'll have to assume that you're too busy with another man." he said, playfully.

You laughed, shaking your head. "As if," you said, playfully shoving him. "You know I only have eyes for you."

Heeseung smiled, leaning in to give you a kiss. "Good.” he said. As he headed out the door, you watched him go, feeling a mix of emotions. You were happy to have spent time with him, but you also felt a little sad that he was leaving. But you knew that you would see him again soon, and that thought brought a sense of comfort and reassurance.

As you settled down to sleep, you thought about the moments you shared with Heeseung, gratitude and contentment washing over you. The connection with him was special, and you were grateful for the intimacy and the closeness that you shared. And as you drifted off to sleep, you held onto the memory of his smile and his touch, peace and comfort forming in your heart.

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The next morning, you woke up early, feeling a mix of excitement and sadness. You were leaving your dorm to go back home for winter break, which meant that you had to say goodbye to Heeseung the night before. You got dressed quickly, trying not to make too much noise so as not to wake up your roommate, and grabbed your bags before heading out the door.

As you drove to the airport, you thought about the moments you shared with Heeseung, feeling a mix of emotions. You were sad to leave him behind, but you were also looking forward to spending time with your family and friends. You couldn't help but smile as you thought about the way he made you feel, and the connection that you shared.

You boarded your flight, you held onto the memory of his smile and his touch, feeling a sense of comfort and reassurance in your heart. You knew that you would see him again soon, and that thought brought a sense of peace and contentment. You promised yourself that you would take care of yourself, and that you would call him as soon as you got home. You knew that he was waiting for your call, and that thought brought a smile to your face.

The plane took off, you closed your eyes and leaned back in your seat, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation for what lay ahead. You knew that your time with Heeseung was special, and you were grateful for the moments you shared together. You were looking forward to the adventures that awaited you back home, and to spending time with your loved ones. And as you drifted off to sleep, you held onto the memories of your time with Heeseung, feeling a sense of contentment and gratitude in your heart. You knew that no matter where life took you, he would always hold a special place in your heart. And you promised yourself that you would make the most of your time at home, and that you would come back to school with new stories and experiences to share with Heeseung.

You were greeted by your mother at the airport with a big smile on her face. You hurried over to her and she walked with you to get your backs, making conversation in an attempt to catch up on life as you’d been gone for so long.

Your first day back was spent at your mother’s home with multiple family members coming to visit. As the day wore on, you got to talk to cousins, aunts, uncles, and so forth. All your family had made their way into town for Christmas, and it was nice.

Once night came, you found yourself in your old room with your sister, both of you sat on your bed as you scrolled through your phone, telling her all about Heeseung.

“So…you met him at a restaurant….slept with him the first night…and now you’re hooked, aren’t you?” She laughed, pushing your shoulder.

You rolled your eyes, feeling a little embarrassed. "It's not like that," you protested. "We just really connected, you know? And he's different from anyone I've ever met."

Your sister raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical. "Uh huh," she said. "And what about school? You still have to focus on your studies, you know. Mom spent a lot of money sending you off to California.”

You sighed, knowing that she had a point. "I know," you said. "But we're both busy with life, and we're going to make it work. We're just taking it one day at a time."

Your sister nodded, looking a little more understanding. "Okay," she said. "Just don't forget to prioritize your goals, okay? And don't get too caught up in this guy. Has he even made it exclusive yet?”

“Well, not exactly….” You smiled, covering your face from embarrassment.

Your sister let out a small laugh. "I knew it," she said. "You're jumping into things too quickly. You need to slow down and think things through."

You nodded, feeling a little chastened. "I know," you said. "I'm not trying to rush anything, but it just feels right, you know? And he's been really respectful of my feelings.” You trailed off a bit. “I told him I’d call him when I got here but I forgot. Cali is like…3 hours behind us, so I’m not too worried..I’m sure he’s awake.”

“Okay…? So?” She questioned.

You tapped your lip, and then closed the door to your bedroom, locking it behind you. “As an adult, I am making this decision and I won’t allow you to change my mind.”

“You’re 19.” She laughed.

“Okay, and you’re only 20. Can’t tell me what's right and wrong anymore.” You crossed your arms, “I’m going to send him some pics.”

“Like…nudes?” She asked.

You nodded, “Yes, cute ones though. Nothing too revealing. No face either. Can you help me?”

“Hm, help my little sister take nudes for a guy she’s not even dating…no!” She smiled, “Not doing that.”

“Please~” You begged, plopping down on your bed, “I’ll owe you, I swear.”

“When you say nude, do you mean you’re going to show yourself? Like completely?” She asked.

“Just a little tease. Something to get him going. I heard guys really like that shit.” You shrugged, “Plus, we already had phone sex the other day. Is it really that different?”

“Well, you’re right.” She sighed, “I'll help you…on one condition.”

“What?” You asked.

“Come out with me and my friends later tonight. I want you to meet them.” She said.

“Alright, deal.” You said, nodding.

She got up, wiping her hands off, “Okay, let’s start. How do you want to pose for the pics?”

You smiled, feeling grateful that your sister was willing to help you out. "Thanks," you said. "I appreciate it." You thought for a moment, considering how you wanted to pose for the pictures. "I was thinking maybe just some suggestive shots, nothing too revealing," you said. "Maybe a little bit of cleavage or something."

Your sister nodded, looking thoughtful. "Okay, we can work with that," she said. "Let's try a few different poses and see what works best."

You spent the next hour taking pictures with your sister's help, trying out different poses and angles. From completely bare top shots to mirror shots, eventually you found the ones that felt the most comfortable and flattering. You were a little nervous, but also excited at the thought of sending the pictures to Heeseung. You knew that he would appreciate the gesture, and you were looking forward to seeing his reaction.

Once you had taken enough pictures, you sent them to Heeseung, feeling a little bit nervous as you waited for his response. You attached a short message to the images.

“made it home lol.” - You.

Your sister peaked over your shoulder, bursting into laughter, “Made it home LOL!”

You looked at her, confused at what was funny. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s the cringiest text I’ve ever seen. You couldn’t have said — thinking of you — or something? Girl.”

You smiled, “Die.”

Your sister talked about how she met some people at her state school and how they were gonna come to pick you both up. “So it’s Jake and Sunoo. I met Jake at one of the football games because me and Sunoo were just getting food at the concession stands and Jake was back behind the register burning popcorn, clicked right away.”

“Why are we hanging out with guys? Is this your failed attempt at setting me up on a double date?” You asked her.

“No, not at all. Sunoo has a girlfriend,...but Jake doesn’t~” She cooed. “I’ve been trying to get you to come back home and go on a date with Jake since June, dude.”

You laughed, feeling a little surprised. "Wait, seriously?" you asked. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Your sister shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I didn't want to pressure you. But he's really sweet, and I think you guys would hit it off."

You considered her words, feeling a little hesitant. "I have Heeseung though.”

“No you don’t! Y’all aren’t dating, you can’t cut off all other options because of Heeseung.” She said.

You raised an eyebrow, feeling a little defensive. "I'm not cutting off all other options," you said. "But I really like Heeseung, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we have."

Your sister nodded, looking understanding. "I get that," she said. "But at the same time, you have to keep your options open. You never know what could happen."

You sighed, feeling a little conflicted. "I know," you said. "But it's not like I'm actively looking for someone else. I just want to focus on my relationship with Heeseung."

“What relationship? This lil fling y’all have going on? Like hello? Y/N, you’re too fine to be tripping offa dude who wants to keep y’all sex sessions a secret. You’re better than this.” She groaned, falling back onto your bed.

You bristled a little at your sister's words, feeling defensive. "It's not like that," you protested. "Heeseung and I have a connection, and we're taking things slow. It's not just about sex."

“Not just about sex but everytime you guys hang out, you’re meeting up to have sex….” She slowly nodded. “Makes 100% sense.”

“Okay…” You awkwardly laughed, “Can I be honest with you?”

“Always.”

You sighed, “There was this girl Heeseung used to mess with, Hana. They still work together, and he claims that they don’t communicate like that anymore but when we were at a hotel together, she was blowing his phone up.”

Your sister’s jaw dropped, “Pause, rewind. HOTEL? Together?? You and him? Y/N, dick can’t be that good that you’re literally staying in hotels just to sleep with him.”

“You completely missed the point.” You sighed, sitting back against the wall.

“All I got from what you said is that him and Hana still be banging on the low. Anytime a man is getting called by a girl multiple times in a row…? She missing her man. That’s it.” She said. “Which is why I say you should meet Jake! A better, non-toxic cute guy!”

You sighed, rubbing your eyes. “I’ll meet him. No promises that we won’t click. I’m very picky about my men.”

Your sister grinned, looking pleased. "That's all I ask," she said. "I just want you to be happy, and if Jake isn't the one, that's okay. But you never know, he might surprise you."

You nodded, feeling a little more open to the idea of meeting Jake. "Okay," you said. "I'll keep an open mind."

As the night wore on, you found yourself feeling a little more relaxed and optimistic about your love life. You knew that things with Heeseung were complicated, but you also knew that you deserve someone who was willing to be open and honest with you. And as you thought about meeting Jake, you felt a sense of excitement and anticipation for the possibilities that lay ahead. Maybe he would be the one, or maybe he would just be a good friend. Either way, you were ready to take a chance and see where things went.

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You and your sister made your way out around 10 ish when Sunoo had texted that they were outside. You grabbed your purse and followed your sister out the door, feeling a little nervous and excited at the prospect of meeting your sister's friends. As you stepped outside, you saw two guys waiting for you in a car. One of them had light brown hair and a friendly smile, while the other had dark hair and a more reserved demeanor.

You both got in and they turned to you guys in the backseat. Your sister began. "Hey guys," your sister said, walking up to them. "This is my sister, Y/N."

The brown-haired guy stepped forward, extending his hand. "Hey, I'm Jake," he said. "Nice to meet you.”

You shook his hand, feeling a little shy. "Nice to meet you too," you said.

The other, Sunoo, gave you a small smile, “I like your earrings.”

You smiled, feeling a little more at ease. "Thank you," you said. "I got them from a thrift store."

Sunoo nodded, looking impressed. "Nice," he said. "I love thrift shopping too."

As the car drove on, you found yourself chatting and laughing with Jake and Sunoo, feeling more and more comfortable around them. They were both easy to talk to, and you found yourself drawn to their friendly personalities and sense of humor.

You all got out at a movie theater and walked in together, stopping at the box office to decide on a movie. Once it was chosen, Sunoo offered to pay for the tickets if the rest of you all paid for the food, so of course you’d agreed.

Sunoo walked off with the tickets and said he’d keep the seats warm while he waited. You, Jake, and your sister got in line for some food, but the peaceful sound of bustling crowds was quickly short when your sister nudged you, signaling towards Jake. You shrugged in response, unsure of what she wanted you to do.

You looked at her, feeling a little confused. "What's up?" you asked.

Your sister grinned mischievously. "So, Y/N was just telling me that she's single," she said, looking at Jake. "And I was thinking, you're single too, right?"

Jake chuckled, looking a little embarrassed. "Uh, yeah," he said. "I guess I am."

Your sister nodded, looking pleased. "Well, Y/N is a catch," she said. "And she's looking for someone who's kind and funny and doesn't take themselves too seriously. Sound like anyone you know?"

Jake grinned, looking at you. "I think I might know someone like that," he said.

You blushed, feeling a little embarrassed by your sister's forwardness, but also feeling a sense of excitement and curiosity about the possibility of dating Jake. He was cute and funny, and you enjoyed spending time with him. But at the same time, you didn't want to rush into anything, especially not with Heeseung back in California.

Jake stepped forward to ask for the popcorn, and you pulled your sister to the side. "I don't know about this," you said. "I just met him."

Your sister looked at you, understanding the hesitation in your voice. "I know it's a lot to take in," she said. "And I'm not saying you have to jump into anything right away. But I think Jake is a really great guy, and I think you two could have something special if you give it a chance. Just take things slow and see where they go."

You nodded, feeling a little more reassured. "Okay," you said. "I'll keep an open mind."

As you all settled into your seats and the movie began, you found yourself snacking on popcorn and enjoying the film. Of course, you’d occasionally see Jake glancing at you from the side , but nothing too major. He wasn’t too good at hiding his gazes, but it was cute.

The movie came to an end and the lights came up, you felt a sense of contentment and satisfaction with the way the night had gone. You had made new friends and potentially opened up a new fling. If Heeseung could have a fling with Hana, then you could have a fling with Jake. Surely it wouldn’t take much emotional capacity to mess around for a boy for a few weeks. Might as well, especially considering Heeseung had yet to respond to your pictures.

You thanked Sunoo for the tickets and your sister, again, urged you to walk beside Jake as her and Sunoo walked out first. Begrudgingly, you agreed.

“Hey,” He said, catching sight of you walking beside him. “What did you think of the movie?”

“If I had to rate it out of ten, I’d give it a 6.” You told him. “Minus 4 because they used cringy ass words. Nobody in real life says shit like “darn it”. Like come on, let’s be for real.”

Jake chuckled. "Yeah, I get what you mean. But overall, I thought it was a pretty good movie. The storyline was interesting, and the characters were relatable."

You nodded in agreement, feeling a sense of ease and comfort around Jake. The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, enjoying the cool night air and the sound of the crowd around you.

“So…are you and your sister going home after this or…?” He asked.

You looked up at Jake, feeling a little flustered by the question. "Um, I'm not sure yet," you said, trying to play it cool. "We might grab a drink or something. Whatever my sister wants to do, I’ll do. Plus, Sunoo is driving, not me.”

“That’s right…why’d I forget we rode together?” He laughed, hitting himself on the forehead.

You laughed along with Jake, feeling a sense of ease and comfort around him. As the two of you settled into a comfortable rhythm of conversation, you found yourself enjoying his company more and more.

Once you were all in the car, Jake offered to sit in the back with you so that your sister could charge her phone in the front. Sunoo drove around with the windows down and music blasting, and you all just enjoyed the cool air.

Jake leaned over a bit, “So, where do you go to school?”

“I go all the way to UCSB, over in Santa Barbara, Cali.” You told him.

“Oh jeez, that’s some way from West Virginia.” He awkwardly laughed. “How’s California? I’ve never been before.”

You smiled at Jake's question, happy to share your experiences with him. "California's great," you said. "The weather is amazing, the beaches are beautiful, and there's always something to do. It's definitely a different vibe from West Virginia, but I love it."

Jake nodded, seeming interested in what you had to say. "Yeah, I bet it's a lot different from where I'm from," he said. "I've lived in West Virginia my whole life, so I'm used to a slower pace of life, I guess. But it's nice to get out and see new places."

“Jake, I’ve literally lived in Virginia all my life too. I only go to California for school.” You told him, squinting your eyes a bit before bursting into a laughing fit at his stupidity.

Jake blushed in embarrassment, realizing his mistake. "Oh, right, sorry about that," he said, laughing along with you. "I guess I got a little mixed up there. But it's still cool that you get to experience a different part of the country for school."

You nodded, still chuckling a bit. "Yeah, it's definitely been an adventure," you said. "But I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow in a new environment."

He smiled a bit, awkwardly rubbing his neck.

You shook your head, “You’re so stupid, oh my goodness.”

He smiled, “Bro, I…don’t know what was going through my head.”

“Obviously nothing!” You laughed, teasing him.

Sunoo pulled into a small arcade, turning his car off, “I have a card with like 700 points on it. If I don’t use it by tomorrow, they’ll expire. I must spend them ASAP….now, come on. Everyone inside.”

You glanced at Jake, before complying to Sunoo’s requests.

As you walked into the arcade, you couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. The bright lights and sounds of the games filled the air, and you felt like a kid again. Sunoo led the way, heading straight for the ticket redemption counter.

"So, I'm thinking we should split up into teams and compete for the most tickets," Sunoo suggested, holding up his card. "Who's with me?"

Your sister raised her hand, “I’m with you.”

“There’s only one card though.” Jake said.

“We’ll take turns. Sunoo and I for 30 minutes, then you two get the card.” Your sister nodded.

You all agreed to the plan, and Sunoo set a timer for 30 minutes. He and your sister headed off to play some games, while you and Jake decided to explore the arcade.

As you walked around, you couldn't help but notice how much Jake made lame jokes. He was cute, but his jokes were fueled by teen boy humor. Not wanting to come off as a bitch, you let it roll off your shoulders until he pointed at balls inside of the basketball game, “Big balls. I can relate.”

You gagged, “Jake, you are genuinely so lame.”

He fake scoffed, “Ouch.”

“You act like a 15 year old virgin.” You told him, rolling your eyes.

“That’s pretty specific, don’t you think? 15 years old? And a virgin? Can’t relate to that one.” He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

You laughed, “Well, you sure act like one.”

“The 15 year old or the virgin?” He asked you.

“Mmm…a virgin.” You told him. You knew damn well you only had one body, but you still felt like you’d had enough experience to recognize when someone didn’t.

“That’s false.” He said, sitting down on an empty bench.

You crossed your arms and sat beside him, “What’s your body count?”

He rubbed his chin, and then held his hands out, counting. Once he got to 15, you stopped him, “You’re full of shit.”

“Okay, maybe 3 or 4. Why are you asking me this, again?” He asked.

“You know, if I’m being honest…I recently lost mine and I’m kind of curious to see how experienced other people are.” You admitted to him.

He slowly nodded, “Ah, right, okay. Well, congratulations for losing yours!”

You groaned, “It wasn’t with my boyfriend though.”

“Wait, what?” He asked, “Did you cheat on your boyfriend or something?”

“No, I mean like…the guy I lost it to? He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend…or whatever.” You told him.

“Oh, okay…does that upset you? That you two aren’t dating?” He asked.

You shook your head, purely lying. “I don’t need him. Plus, his body count is probably like 10+, I doubt that he even thinks about me like he says he does.”

“Ah, you two aren’t in contact anymore?” He asked.

“We’ll be in contact when I get a text back from him but he only texts late at night, and it’s only like 8 in California right now. I can expect a text from him at like 5 am Virginia time.” You sighed.

Jake looked at you sympathetically, "I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a complicated situation."

You shrugged, "It is what it is. I knew going into it that it wasn't going to be anything serious. I just needed to get it out of my system."

Jake nodded, "I get it. Sometimes you just need to do what's best for you."

You smiled, feeling grateful for Jake's understanding. "Thanks, Jake. You’re really sweet.” You looked over his face, taking in how…hot he was. Yes, Heeseung was hotter. Heeseung would forever remain to be the one in your heart, but you didn’t mind having Jake on your mind at the time being. Heeseung hadn’t even bothered to respond to your suggestive photos, flirting with Jake would be your payback.

But then again, Heeseung was probably at work. You were sick for thinking about these things. How desperate were you? Thinking about Jake not even 24 hours after you were just riding on top of Heeseung? Sick.

"So, what do you plan to do later tonight?"

You took a deep breath and tried to clear your mind. "Sorry, I got a bit distracted there. What did you say?" you asked him.

Jake smiled, "No worries. I was just asking what your plans were for the rest of the night."

You shrugged, "I don't really have any plans. Just going to head back home, I guess."

Jake nodded, "Well, do you want some company? “

“Uh,” You bit your lip. “What do you mean?”

Jake chuckled, seeing your confusion. "I mean, do you want me to come over and hang out with you for a while? If not, I understand.”

“No, my mom might actually kill me. I may be 19 but I’ll forever be 12 in my mom’s mind.” You playfully told him, pretending like you weren’t just undressing him with your mind a second ago.

Jake laughed, "Yeah, I get it. Moms can be like that sometimes."

You smiled, feeling grateful for Jake's understanding. "Thanks for being cool about it."

Jake nodded, "Of course. Maybe we can plan something for another time. You’re here for how long?”

“A month!” You told him.

"Yeah, that sounds good. We'll figure something out." He said.

When the 30 minutes were up, you awkwardly played games with him. You’d come to realize that you didn’t like guys like Jake; Timid, shy, overly funny. He didn’t make you feel what Heeseung made you feel. You weren’t necessarily trying too hard to develop anything for him, but it would be nice to have a distraction from Heeseung. Especially while there was no telling what he was doing back in Cali.

At the end of the hurrah, your sister took pics of you all and then dropped you both at home.

You glanced down at your phone and STILL had no text back from Heeseung. At this point, you wondered if he purposefully didn’t respond to you. Like, you were fucking fed up with him! Why did you have to wait for him to respond but as soon as he texts you, you call him? You don’t wait hours to reach out, you don’t wait.

You told your sister that you’d be inside in a second and called Heeseung. It rang for a bit, and you found yourself pacing down the sidewalk, biting your lip in frustration. After what felt like an eternity, Heeseung finally picked up the phone. "Hey, what's up?" he said casually.

"What's up? Are you fucking kidding me?" you snapped. "I've been waiting for hours for you to respond to my text. Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?"

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “I’ve been busy with work.” he said. “Plus, it’s not that big of a deal. I always answer when you call.”

"Not that big of a deal? Heeseung, it’s a big deal. It’s a really big deal! Communication is important, Heeseung. I feel like I'm always the one reaching out to you, and you only respond when it's convenient for you. That's not fair." You said, tears stinging at your eyes.

“Okay, for sure, but like I said, I’ve been at work. I got promoted, by the way. Officially the new manager of Moonshadows @ Malibu.” He said.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. "Congratulations on the promotion," you said, trying to sound sincere. "But that still doesn't excuse the fact that you couldn't take a few seconds to respond to my text. Did you even bother to open it? Do you know how much effort I put into finding sexy photos to send you? All because I want to make YOU happy while I’m on break?”

Heeseung's voice softened on the other end of the line. “Y/N, I get that you’re upset but…a sexy photo? Like? Do you know what time it was that you sent that?”

“It was like 6 my time.” You told him.

“It was 3 pm. 3 o’clock when you sent me a photo of you with your tongue out, boobs out, and all that WHILE I was at work. I couldn’t respond, that’s that.” he sternly stated.

You felt your face flush with embarrassment as Heeseung pointed out the time you sent the photo. "I didn't realize it was that early," you said, feeling foolish. "I was just trying to do something nice for you, and I guess I didn't think it through."

"I appreciate the effort, I really do," Heeseung said. "But you have to understand that I can't always respond to messages right away, especially when I'm at work. It's not fair to expect me to drop everything and respond to a message like that."

You felt sad at his words. He was right; He was a true adult with a true job. You were just the dumb college girl with no real concept of how the real world worked. How couldn’t you remember that it was so early for him? How could you just forget? Why would you send him the photo while knowing he was at work? What’s wrong with you?

You hung up the phone without another word, you couldn't help but feel embarrassed and disappointed in yourself. You had wanted to do something nice for Heeseung, but instead, you had made him feel pressured and uncomfortable while he was at work.

Walking back up to your room, you felt down. You replayed the conversation over and over in your head. You couldn't believe that you had been so thoughtless and insensitive. You’d even called him at an indecent hour. Genuinely, you were sick of yourself. Sick of how needy you were becoming.

Your phone vibrated, and you glanced down at it. You saw a text from Heeseung.

“Are you heading to sleep soon?” - heeseung <3

You didn’t reply back to him, simply tossing your phone to the side.

But you lay in bed that night, you couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment in yourself. You knew you had to apologize to Heeseung and make things right. You picked up your phone and typed out a message to him.

"heeseung, i’m sorry for the way i acted earlier. i wasn't thinking about your schedule, and i shouldn't have sent you that photo while you were at work. i hope you can forgive me." - You.

You hit send and waited nervously for his response. A few minutes later, your phone buzzed with a notification.

“Y/N, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m not mad. I just want you to remember that I have a job, and I’m often not free throughout the day. Okay? Just keep that in mind.” - heeseung <3

You couldn’t take his text seriously. You were simply just embarrassed. You even went out of your way to change his contact name from heeseung <3 to just Heeseung. You didn’t know how you’d come back from this. He didn’t even acknowledge the photo, didn’t compliment you, nothing.

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After changing Heeseung's contact name, you spent the next day feeling distant and disconnected from him. You couldn't help but feel hurt and disappointed by his lack of response to the photo you had sent him.

But as the hours went on, you realized that you couldn't keep these feelings bottled up inside. You knew you had to talk to Heeseung and express your concerns.

After 2 days, you mustered up the courage to call him. "Hey, Heeseung," you said when he answered. "Sorry I haven’t reached out…”

“It’s fine.” He said.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, is now a good time?” You asked him.

“I guess so.” He said, “What is it?”

“You guess? Yes or no? I don’t want you to guess, I just want you to tell me if now is a good time or not.” You said, already feeling annoyed at his short responses.

“Yes, now is fine. What is it that you want to say?” He asked.

"I've been feeling a little insecure lately," you admitted. "I sent you a photo a few days ago, and you didn't really respond to it. I just wanted to know if everything was okay and if you're still interested in me."

Heeseung paused for a moment before responding. “Y/N, seriously? Like are you really asking me this?”

“What do you mean?” You asked him. “I am asking you because I…want to know if you still like me.”

A loud groan came from him on the other end of the call.

Heeseung's groan made you feel even more insecure and hurt. You couldn't believe he was reacting this way. "What's wrong?" you asked, feeling your voice shake a little. “Why can’t you tell me if you like me or not? Why haven’t you expressed any of your feelings towards me? We keep having sex and going on dates, but not once did you tell me how much I meant to you…all you do is turn the conversation around on me!”

"Why do I have to verbally express whether I like you or not?" Heeseung asked, his tone still slightly curt. "I didn’t know you were requiring me to wear my heart on my sleeve.”

The tears you’d been trying to hold back finally escaped, streaming down your face as you cried. "It's not about wearing your heart on your sleeve, Heeseung," you sniffed, trying to calm your sobs. "It's about being honest! I need to know where I stand with you. Please just tell me, Heeseung, please.”

Heeseung's tone softened as he heard the tears in your voice. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he said. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

You wiped your tears. "I just need to know how you feel about me, Heeseung," you said, your voice still shaky. "I need to know if you see a future with me, or if this is just a casual thing for you."

Heeseung let out a sigh. "You’re really great, Y/N.” he said. "I enjoy spending time with you. But I don't know what the future holds, and I don't want to make any promises I can't keep."

His words hit you like a pile of bricks. The once sad feeling you felt was soon replaced with anger as you spat back, “Maybe I should fuck someone else then, yeah? I should just find someone else because you don’t care about me. You don’t even care that I’m crying right now.”

Heeseung's expression turned to shock as he heard your words. "Y/N, that's not fair," he said firmly.

You began again. “You know what’s weird? Why don’t I know anything about you? Why do I only know your first name? Why are you allowed to know everything about me but as soon as I ask you a question, you end the conversation? Are you trying to manipulate me? Is this a game to you?

He sighed again. “Y/N, I'm sorry that you feel that way," he said. "It's not my intention to manipulate you or play games. I’m just not good with these emotional things.

“That doesn’t excuse anything, Heeseung.” You told him.

“I am aware —” he paused. “ — But I’m uncomfortable having this conversation while I’m in the midst of checking into work. I will call you later.”

You scoffed, “No, you can’t hang up on me. I’m more important than your stupid job.”

“Y/N, I’m going to hang up and I’m going to call you once I’ve settled in at home. Goodbye.” He said, hanging up.

You felt a sense of anger and frustration as Heeseung hung up on you. You couldn't believe that he was prioritizing his job over your relationship. AGAIN! But you waited. You weren’t going to tell him not to go to work, that's a bit too far.

Trying to spend time with family while anxiously waiting for Heeseungs call might have been the most painful thing you’ve ever been through.

You couldn’t even focus during game night, and your cousins even pointed it out. All you could do was sit, stare, and occasionally look down at your phone.

Therefore, when he finally reached out, you jumped up to excuse yourself and went to your room to answer him.

“Heeseung, you finally called.” You sighed, feeling slight contentment at his presence over the phone.

“Hello to you too, Y/N.” He said. “I’ve had time to think about what you said and I’m going to be 100% honest with you, no games, nothing. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He took a deep breath, “I think you’re a really sweet girl, Y/N. I think that you have something special about you and I genuinely enjoy being around you. Of course, there’s been some hiccups with the Hana situation and the photo, but I overall think that if we can both agree to trust each other and not jumó to conclusions, we’ll both be better off. Things work best that way if you just trust my word and don’t get all in your head.”

As you listened to Heeseung's words, you felt a mix of emotions. On the one hand, you appreciated his honesty and his willingness to be open with you. On the other hand, you felt frustrated that he was asking you to trust him blindly without questioning his actions or intentions.

"Heeseung, I appreciate your honesty," you said. "But trust is something that needs to be earned. I can't just blindly trust you without any evidence or reassurance."

"I understand that," Heeseung said. "And I'm willing to work on earning your trust. But I also need you to be willing to give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best."

"I want to trust you, Heeseung," you said. "I really do…but I also need to know that you're willing to be open and honest with me, and to address any concerns or issues that I bring up."

"I am," Heeseung said. "Let's take things one step at a time and see where things go."

You felt a sense of relief and hope at his words. Despite the challenges and hiccups in the relationship, you felt like there was still a chance to build something strong and meaningful with Heeseung.

“Okay, thank you. I really needed to hear that.” You took a deep breath, finally feeling relieved. after many painful days.

“Now, about your ‘sexy photo’…you still want me to comment on it?” He asked.

“Mhm, yes please.” You told him, closing your bedroom door.

“Hm, let’s see.” He said, as you heard tapping on his screen. “First off, you’re so beautiful.. I think you with your tongue out MIGHT be my favorite.”

As Heeseung commented on your photo, you felt a sense of playfulness and flirtation between the two of you. It was a moment of lightness and humor amidst the tension and stress of the past few days.

"Thank you," you said, feeling a smile spread across your face. "I'm glad you liked them."

Heeseung sighed. "I'm sorry for not responding to your previous photos. I could have handled it better. I was just busy with work, that’s all it was.”

"It's okay," you said. "I understand. I just wanted to make sure you saw them. I worked hard on them for you.”

"I did," he said. "And I appreciate them. But let's not make a habit of sending sexy photos, okay? I think it’s more fun to wait and see it in person, you know?"

“But, I won’t be back in California for a month. What are you going to do while I’m gone?” You asked.

"I'll miss you, of course," Heeseung said, voice emitting from the other end of the call. "But I'll keep myself busy with work and other things…"

You felt a sense of disappointment at his response. “Other things, like what? Other women? Or Hana?”

"No, of course not," Heeseung laughed. "I'm not interested in anyone else. We agreed to keep things casual, remember?"

“I thought you said that…we just had to keep it a secret?” You asked him. “Keeping it casual isn’t the same as keeping it private.”

"Ah, yeah, my mistake. A secret." Heeseung replied. “Let’s just take it slow, Y/N.”

You let out a sigh of relief, feeling reassured by his words. "Okay, I understand. I just don't want to lose you while I'm away."

"You won't," Heeseung said softly. "I'll be here when you get back. And who knows, maybe we can take things to the next level when you come back?"

A smile spread across your face at the prospect. "When you say next level…what do you mean exactly? Because you know, I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I’ve already expressed through my actions how I feel towards you…right?”

“Have you?” He asked.

“Yeah…?” You questioned.

“I think I'd rather you tell me than you show me.” He sighed.

“Actions speak louder than words though.” you told him. “Get with the times, Heeseung.”

He faked a sad sigh, “I guess I’ll never know. Not until you tell me.”

You smiled at his playful response. "Okay, fine. You are a wonderful, amazing, great man.”

"I know, I know." Heeseung said. "I’m the best.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m hanging up now.”

“Y/N? Hanging up on me?” He gasped.”That’s a first. Tryna be like me? Ending the conversation?”

You groaned.“Heeseung, literally shut up. Like actually.”

The conversation persisted throughout the night, your sister eventually came up to say her good night and left you alone to talk to Heeseung.

The clock ticked on closer and closer to later at night, until you both admitted that you were getting sleepy.

“Heeseung, can I ask you a serious question?” You asked him, yawning.

“Mhm.” He hummed.

“When we hang out, do you usually have the expectation of sex?” You asked him. “If you do, it’s okay. I just want to know.”

He was silent on the other end of the phone.

After a moment of silence, Heeseung finally spoke up. "No, Y/N," he said. "I don't have any expectations when we hang out. I just enjoy spending time with you, whether it's laying in your dorm or going out to a cafe."

You let out a sigh of relief, feeling grateful for his honesty. "Okay, good to know," you said. "A little birdy keeps telling me that you expect certain things out of me. I don’t regret anything, of course. I just wanted clarification. It helps me figure out things.”

"Yeah?" Heeseung said. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his words. "Well, I just want to make sure that we're both on the same page," you said. "I don't want there to be any misunderstandings between us. And honestly, I appreciate your honesty. It makes me feel more sure."

"And just so you know, I don't expect anything from you, Y/N." he said. “I hate that I’m on the verge of falling asleep as I say this but, I’ll just say it; You don’t have to overthink anything with me. If you ever want to talk, I hope I’ve made it so that you feel comfortable enough to just ask me. Okay? Don’t ask anyone else. Ask me. Ask the source.”

You smiled, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. "That means a lot," you said. "Thank you."

"Of course, sweet girl." Heeseung sighed with a chuckle. “Isn’t it super late for you? Virginia is like 3 hours ahead of Cali.”

You nodded to yourself, “It’s late, yes. But it’s okay. I like talking to you.”

"Of course, my sweet Y/N," Heeseung said with a soft smile. “I love talking to you too."

You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his words, feeling grateful for his kind and caring nature. "You love it?," you asked. "I’ve never heard you say that before. Love.”

"Oh, Y/N. I’m sleepy" Heeseung said with a gentle tone. "I’m gonna go, okay? Make sure you get some rest tonight. You deserve it."

You felt a sense of comfort wash over you at his words, feeling safe and loved in his presence. "I will," you said with a smile. "Goodnight.”

You smiled, feeling a sense of happiness knowing that you had someone like Heeseung in your life. Despite the distance between you, you knew that your connection was strong enough to withstand it, and that made you feel hopeful for the future. As you ended the call and settled into bed, you felt grateful for Heeseung's presence in your life. You fell asleep with a smile on your face, feeling loved and cared for.

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The next week was about the same as your first few days there; Meeting up with family, small parties, preparing for christmas. Heeseung still continued to only answer his phone at night, which was frustrating, to say the least. Yet, you tried understanding that he had just been promoted so he was probably even more busy now.

When Christmas came, you woke up to a sweet text from him. To sum it up, he basically said:

“I have a surprise waiting for you when you get back, sweet girl. Counting down the days.” - heeseung <3

That was honestly enough to make you book a flight back home 4 days sooner than what you had intended to. You were unsure of what he had in store for you, but you were eager to get back to him. Hearing him wasn’t enough anymore, you wanted to see him. You wanted to feel him. Not his body, but him. The past lustful thoughts that once controlled you barely even existed anymore. Sure, you guys were keeping it ‘casual’, but he never verbally said that you weren’t allowed to like him, have feelings for him, etc.

But at this point, could they even be considered just “feelings”? You didn’t just feel butterflies when you heard his voice, you felt…calm. At peace. Warm. The names he’d call you brought a small to your face, opened the door for a pang in your heart, all of the above.

The more you found yourself thinking about him, the less patient you found yourself being. You were just counting down the days till you could leave and see him again.

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Finally, it was time. As you packed your bags and prepared to head back home, your mind was filled with excitement and anticipation. You couldn't wait to see what Heeseung had in store for you, and the thought of being in his arms again brought a smile to your face. Despite the distance and the challenges that came with it, you knew that your connection with Heeseung was strong enough to withstand it all.

First the airport, then the airplane, then back to the dorm, then to unpack. You had to finish settling in before you could even worry about how you’d find a way to see Heeseung, unsure of if he was working or not. You’d given yourself a week to just enjoy the last few days of break on campus and away from your family as you wanted to be in your own space…with Heeseung, of course.

Once settled in, you texted Heeseung.

“i made it back!! when can i see you?” - You.

Your heart was beating fast with anticipation.

But then the unexpected happened; He replied as soon as your message was delivered.

“Now. 29501 Elms Ave. #23. Code is 893993. See you soon, sweet girl.” - heeseung <3

He had you coming to his place? As in, where he lived?? Where he rested his head at night and ate his breakfast in the mornings?

You felt a mix of excitement and nervousness wash over you as you read Heeseung's message. He wanted you to come over to his place, and while you were thrilled at the prospect of seeing him, you couldn't help but feel a bit nervous.

Taking a deep breath, you gathered your things and made your way to Heeseung's apartment. As you arrived at the complex and entered the code he had given you, your heart was beating fast with anticipation. This was it. You were about to see Heeseung again, and this time, it would be in his own space.

As you made your way to his door and knocked, your nerves were on edge. But as soon as Heeseung opened the door and pulled you into a tight embrace, all of your worries melted away.

The moment you saw him, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. He looked just as handsome as ever, with a warm smile on his face and his arms open wide for you.

"Hey there, beautiful," Heeseung said as he pulled you into a tight embrace. "I've missed you."

You smiled back, feeling a sense of comfort wash over you. "Me too," you said. "I've missed you so much."

Heeseung chuckled, pulling back to look at you. "But now that you're here, let's make the most of it."

As he led you into his apartment, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe wash over you. This was where Heeseung lived, where he spent his days and nights. And now, you were here with him.

From the colors, to the furniture, to the small plate left on the countertop. You admired it all. Everything reflected his personality, him as an individual.

Heeseung led you to his living room and settled onto the couch, pulling you close to him. As you snuggled up against him, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. This was where you belonged, in his arms.

You felt a sense of warmth spread through you as his arms strokes your hair, feeling his strong arms around you. You both basked in the silence.

It was something so intimate about just sitting there, holding each other. Dating or not, this was all you needed. Someone to hold, someone to feel, someone like him, someone like Heeseung, or just Heeseung period.

"So, what's the surprise you have for me?" You asked, looking up at him with a small smile.

Heeseung chuckled. "Patience, Y/N," he said. "All in good time. But first, let's catch up. How was your trip?"

As You settled onto the couch and began to chat, you felt a sense of happiness wash over you. Despite the distance and the challenges that came with it, you knew that your connection with Heeseung was strong enough to withstand it all. You talked for hours, sharing stories and laughing together, and it felt like no time had passed since you last saw each other.

Eventually, Heeseung stood up and held out his hand. "Okay, Y/N," he said with a smile. "Are you ready for your surprise?"

You nodded eagerly, feeling a sense of excitement build within you. Heeseung led you to his bedroom, where he had set up a cozy little nook with blankets and pillows.

"Ta-da!" Heeseung said with a grin. "I thought we could have a little movie night together. Just the two of us."

You felt a surge of awe wash over you as you looked at him with a happy frown. “Aw, Heeseung. This is so cute. You did this? For me?”

“Yeah.” He laughed. For the first time, you saw a flustered look on his face. A small blush covered his cheeks as he continued. “I knew you’d like it.”

“I love it. I absolutely adore everything you’ve done for me today. I really do.” You told him, holding his hand as you gave him a small kiss, “What movie did you have in mind?”

Settling onto the blankets after you found a movie, the warmth of Heeseung's body next to you, it was perfect. As the movie began to play, you couldn't help but steal glances at him, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you.

The night wore on and the movie ended, Heeseung turned to you with a sleepy gaze. "Y/N," he said, taking your hand in his again

“Yes?” You asked, looking up at him.

He kept his eyes down on you, a sense of what appeared to be longing behind his eyes. “Lately, I’ve been thinking about what I told you a few weeks ago.”

“There’s a lot you’ve told me in the past few weeks, Heeseung.” You smiled, slightly nudging him.

“I know, I know.” he sighed. “But one thing in particular has been on my mind lately, amongst other things.”

“What is it?”

He sighed, wrapping his arm around you, pulling you closer, “I think that I want to gear away from our ‘casual’ title. What do you think?”

As Heeseung spoke, his words sinking in slowly, you felt a mix of surprise and joy wash over you. He wanted to move away from the casual label and be something more, and it was something you had been wanting too. But the suddenness of it all still caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of vulnerability wash over you.

You looked up at Heeseung, you saw a sense of longing and hope in his eyes that made your heart ache. He was putting himself out there, taking a risk, and you knew how much that meant.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words sink in. "Heeseung," you said softly, your voice trembling with emotion. "I would love that. I've been wanting that too, but I didn't want to push you."

You hugged him back, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. This was what you had been waiting for, what you had been wanting. And now, it is finally happening.

As you settled back onto the blankets, feeling the warmth of Heeseung's body next to yours, you knew that your connection was there after all. And despite the challenges that came with distance and uncertainty, you knew that you had found something special with Heeseung. And that made you feel hopeful for the future as you knew you could grow as a person with him, experiencing things in life, learning from him, and much more.

You snuggled up against him, feeling the comfort of his embrace. Heeseung has done many things; From making you go psycho over an ex fling to having you drive back and forth to Malibu. But you’d go back and do it all over again.

Tears streamed down your face as you looked up at him, feeling a sense of overwhelming emotion wash over you. "Heeseung," you whispered, your voice choking with tears. "I'm so grateful for you. I’m sorry for how crazy I acted about Hana…I promise I’ll be better now…that she’s blocked.”

Heeseung smiled softly, brushing away your tears with his thumb. "Mhm" he hummed. "Forget Hana.”

You leaned in to kiss him, feeling a sense of passion and desire built within you. This was it, the beginning of a new chapter in your relationship, and you couldn't wait to see where it would lead.

Of course, you still had a lot you had to do; You had to ex out every woman that felt as though she could be in his life, had to find a way to get him to be closer to your school or vice versa, AND you most certainly had to get Hana fired from Moonshadows @ Malibu. Heeseung was now yours. Nobody else could have him. You’d do what you had to do to keep it that way.

Until then, you’d just lay in his arms, breathing in his scent, occasionally wondering how many other girls had smelled him this closely.

That was another thing you had to fix…he had too many followers on instagram. It was time for a detox.

Heeseung was yours and yours only.

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authors note: yall, i don’t know what the hell happened in this chapter. it took me so long to finish this #writers block. OH, if there’s any weird repeated sentences/paragraphs, my bad. i wrote a lot of this late at night.

also, if u saw a random ass spam of letters, that was me face palming on my keyboard, knocked out. thank u, hope u enjoyed the read, honeybuns :)

tag list: @voidbeomgyu @kimochiloveshee @ppeachyttae @jungwo-nnie @0102luvr @heeswif3y @lqveenha @hanienie @furious-eagle @mimimovv @sweetjaemss

[guilty-pleasures21]

The perfect guy

The project

The new guy

The lie

The new body

The hospital

The first time

The suit

The virus

The escape

Warnings: mentions of sex and a brief description of penetration (p in v).

----------------------------------------------------------

     Miguel held his breath as Dr Connors went over the results of all his medical tests on his tablet. He'd worked extra hard over the past week to get himself to at least the basic level of fitness expected of a living human being. It hadn't been easy, but the presence of his pretty little girlfriend - she was his girlfriend now! He still couldn't believe it - had helped a lot. 

     ���All right, everything seems good,” Dr Connors finally decided, looking up to flash Miguel a pleased smile. “You can go home now.”

     ‘Home’. X's house. The place he'd only ever been able to see through artificial cameras for so long. He glanced over at X, buzzing with excitement at the thought of going home with her. She returned his enthusiastic smile, but was careful to maintain some distance between them. 

     ‘I can't show you too much affection while everyone else is around, querido,’ she'd told him after getting off of him that first morning before any of the nurses came in and saw them together. ‘They'll take me off the project if they think I have feelings for you.’ 

     ‘Do you have feelings for me?’ he'd asked, nervous to hear her response. She'd given him a reassuring smile, her features still glowing from sleep and happiness. Dios, she was pretty. 

     ‘Of course!’ she'd replied immediately, scurrying back over to him to give him a kiss on the cheek. ‘I love you, Miguel! More than anyone in the whole world.’ 

     He’d grinned and responded in kind, holding onto that fact as he’d endured the never-ending tests they’d put him through to assess his new body and superpowers.

     Eddie's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he watched the silent exchange between X and her AI. But it wouldn't do any good for him to hurl accusations about their relationship without some form of proof. He slid his gaze over to Miguel and frowned at the dreamy-eyed look the machine-turned-man continued to give X. No matter - he'd be able to find evidence soon enough.

     The first thing he did when they got home was jump onto the sofa, just as he'd seen her do so many times. But he hadn't accounted for their vast difference in size and the sofa gave a loud groan after he'd landed on it. 

     “Miguel! Are you okay?” X asked, her eyes wide with concern as she rushed over to him.

     “Yeah, I'm fine,” he reassured her, sitting up and causing the sofa to let out another creak. “Is it supposed to make that sound?”

     X folded her arms across her chest and wrinkled her nose at him. 

     “No,” she huffed. “You're too strong, Miguel, you can't jump on the sofa like that! You could break it.”

     “I'm sorry,” Miguel apologised quickly, flashing her a sheepish look. “I just … I always see you do it.” X sighed and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

     “It's okay,” she waved away his apology, her expression melting into a smile. “Just be a little careful. You're a lot stronger than I am.”

     “Okay,” Miguel agreed. He placed a hand over his stomach, feeling it rumble in protest, then he looked back up at X in question. “I'm hungry.” Another feeling he'd quickly learned about after being transferred to his body. Although this one was a negative emotion - one he'd do anything to prevent. X sank onto the seat beside him.

     “I can order some food. Or …” An excited look overtook her features as she thought of an alternative solution. “Do you want to go out? We can get you some new clothes too!” She'd gotten him a few shirts, sweatpants and boxers for after he'd woken up, having measured the dimensions of his body the day before. But she didn't know what he'd feel comfortable in once he'd gotten up and she wanted to give him as much autonomy as she could, considering that his entire life had previously been limited to whatever screen was closest to her. So, she'd held off getting too many things, not expecting them to be confined to the hospital for more than a week. Miguel's lips curled at the ends automatically when he saw the happiness on her face.

     “Okay.” Then he thought of another idea. “Can we go to the supermarket too? I want to buy some groceries so I can cook for you.”

     X grinned at the wholesome request. “You … want to cook for me?”

     “Yes. Food is an important aspect of human relationships,” Miguel recited, quoting the information he'd spent years gathering. “I … want to take care of you, querida.”

     X leaned closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a hug. Miguel responded in kind and curled his arms around her waist, then lifted her onto his lap. Hugging was another expression of human affection - one that he adored considering how soft his precious little girlfriend was. X snickered at the sudden movement - at how easy it seemed for him to just pick her up and move her around. 

     “Miguel …” She pulled back to admire his handsome features, the pure, unadulterated joy on her face causing a warm feeling to seep into his chest. Then she got up and gestured to the door. “¡Vamos!”

     Eddie walked in a circle around Miguel, assessing his suit carefully. Margo had coded the nanobots to stay close to the AI's skin, revealing to his onlookers every curve and line of his imposing muscles. It was a little tight, in Eddie's opinion, but at least it wouldn't restrict his movements or get ripped up in a fight. He stopped in front of the AI and pointed to his hands. “Activate your talons - the suit should rearrange around them so it doesn't rip like fabric.”

     Miguel released his claws and the nanobots re-organised themselves around them, exactly as Eddie had described. “Technically, talons are for birds of prey - I'm a mammal, so these would more likely be considered ‘claws’.”

     Eddie rolled his eyes as he grabbed Miguel's hand to take a closer look. “Yeah, yeah. You're a hyperintelligent AI with access to everything on the Internet. Super impressive.”

     Miguel frowned, his muscles tensing with irritation. He always experienced a lot of negative emotions whenever Eddie was around. It wasn't jealousy - that was when someone else had something you wanted, and this man had absolutely nothing that Miguel could ever want. It was … well, protectiveness when it came to X, offence when the smaller man was being sarcastic and frustration when he wouldn't treat him like an actual human being; a living thing of flesh and blood just like him. Miguel glanced over at X standing by the window and took a few deep breaths when he saw the reassuring smile on her face. Now there was someone around whom he never experienced any negative emotions. She was always so sweet and supportive, so patient with him as he got accustomed to his new body, constantly checking in on him to make sure he felt safe.

     Eddie released his hold on Miguel and turned to face Margo. “Are the cameras working?”

     “Yup!” Margo confirmed, her gaze locked on the screens that reflected Miguel's point of view. “Ready to go when you are.” 

     She looked up and flashed Miguel a thumbs up and an encouraging smile. She could be even more sarcastic than Eddie, but without all the malice that poisoned Eddie's every word. Miguel liked how enthusiastic she would get whenever they discussed his programming - she'd specialised in it, so had more detailed knowledge on the matter than X did. Plus, it felt good to make friends. Miguel nodded in agreement, giving her a smile in return, then turned to Dr Connors for approval. The older man looked up from his position behind Margo and gave Miguel a nod, permitting him to make his way over to the window. Miguel walked over to X and she grabbed his arm when he reached her, then released it quickly so as not to arouse suspicion. 

     “Don't push yourself, Miguel: tell us if anything hurts or doesn't feel right, okay?” she beseeched him, eyes wide with concern. “We'll be tracking you over the cameras and the microphone, so everyone will be able to see and hear everything you say, ¿entiendes?” She paused to give him a warning look and Miguel nodded in understanding - no cheeky flirtations or tender declarations of his love for her tonight. Not until they were home again, at least. 

     “Sí, arañita,” he reassured her. It was a new nickname he'd given her after she'd shared with him all the research she'd done to understand how his spider DNA might affect him. She'd looked so cute, eyes wide with curiosity as she'd thrown at him all the information he'd already gathered with a quick search in his head. He'd asked her a few questions after, just so he could keep seeing that adorable expression on her face, and she'd jumped up on his lap in excitement, grabbing his wrists and brushing her fingers along his body as she'd explained his physiology. They'd stayed up extra late that night - ‘for research purposes’, Miguel had insisted, showing her exactly all the things his body could do. X curled her fingers around his wrist and gave him a gentle squeeze. 

     “Okay. Be careful, Miguel. I'll see you later, ¿bien?” He raised his arm slightly, causing her hand to fall down to his, and brushed his fingers against hers.

     “Hasta luego, arañita.”

Miguel deactivated his mask and gloves as he bounded over to X, barely concealing his excitement. “So? How did I do?”

X flashed him a smile, her eyes never leaving her monitor as she tracked his vitals and typed up his latest mission report. They'd been doing this for almost a month now and Miguel had already managed to take out three of the city's most wanted criminals. The project had been deemed a massive success as a result, so they'd left X to look after Miguel while the rest of them continued to try to replicate her research. “You did great!”

Miguel picked her up and lowered himself into her chair, setting her on his lap as he settled into his seat.

“Your body is regulating itself perfectly!” X informed him, keeping her eyes on the screens in front of her - she'd gotten used to the way he'd just pick her up and move her around like she weighed nothing at all. Then she twisted her head back to fix him with a knowing smile. “But your hormones are still a little high, Mr Spiderman.”

Miguel wrapped himself around her and grinned against her ear. “Maybe you can help me fix that, mi arañita hermosa.”

She giggled as he started pressing soft kisses down the side of her neck, then grabbed his hands to stop them from wandering all over her body. “Miguel. You should go take a shower, querido.”

He lay his head on her shoulder and kept his arms curled tightly around her small form. “Hmm. Can you help me, arañita?”

X let out another laugh. “You know how to shower, Miguel.”

“Mmm, I think I need a little more help,” Miguel argued. “Just a few more times. And then maybe I’ll get the hang of it.”

She rolled her eyes affectionately at his insistence: he had all the knowledge of the world at his fingertips - of course he knew how to take a shower.

“Fine.” She swung her legs together and turned around to look up at him. “But just a few more times, right?” Miguel slid his hands beneath her shirt and bent over to nip at her earlobe.

“Just a few more times,” he agreed unconvincingly. “Then I’ll probably figure it out. Maybe.”

X giggled as he began kissing her neck again, his hands running all along her torso and squeezing her smooth curves. Then he stood up and started ushering her towards the shower. “Come on. Vamos.”

“F****ck,” Miguel groaned, bracing himself against the wall as his c*m shot out of him and into her. The best part about having a physical body had to be the sex. It just felt so good, having her soft curves pressing up against him, her warm p*ssy squeezing his dick tight. And when she’d let him come inside of her? Mierda, that was probably the best part. He sighed as his cock went limp after having pumped all of his semen inside of her. Then he relaxed his muscles and stepped back slightly, giving her some space to catch her breath.

She loosened her grip on him as she came down from her high, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She’d thought he’d have needed a little more time to get used to his physical body, but he was so freakin’ good with it! His hands, his mouth, his … everything! She brushed her fingers along his cheek and smiled at the elated look on his face. “You ready to go to bed now, querido?”

Miguel grinned and took hold of her hand before turning to press a kiss to her palm. Then he guided her arm around his neck and leaned forward to start kissing her. He kept his mouth firmly on hers as they made their way over to the bed and X giggled as she stumbled back onto it. Then he crawled up on top of her before she could move and pinned her down against it.

“Miguel,” she whined, turning her head to the side so he couldn't kiss her mouth. “It's getting late. Can we go to sleep?”

Miguel sighed into the crook of her neck, disappointed. Then he rolled over onto his back, letting her curl up against him. They lay like that for a while, surrounded by the comfortable silence, then X pushed herself up onto her elbow and began tracing the lines of his chest with her finger. “Miguel?”

“Hmm?” he hummed, his hand gliding up and down her back lazily.

“Do you think …” she paused and bit on her lip as she slid her hand up the side of his face. She stroked his cheek softly, her expression nervous as she ran her fingers across his jaw to brush his lips. Then she crawled on top of him and rested her head on his shoulder, thinking.

“How do you know your feelings for me are real?” she asked finally. “How do you know I didn’t just code them into you?”

Miguel's eyes fluttered shut as she ran her fingers through his hair, the soothing sensation causing him to fall drowsy. “Did you code my biology?”

“No,” X replied easily. “I just did your initial coding. You did everything else on your own.”

“Right,” Miguel agreed matter-of-factly. “So even if I did code them into my brain, I must have wanted them there, right?” He paused for a moment to let her digest his words, his long fingers travelling up and down her back reassuringly.

“Which means I must have had them anyway,” He finished. X rubbed her thumb along the side of his neck, thinking.

“Mmm,” she agreed softly, realising that he was right. It was true that she'd initially created him to be ‘the perfect guy’ for her, but you couldn't code feelings into an AI. So yes, she'd created him specifically for her to fall in love with, but she hadn't created him to fall right back in love with her. She lifted her head to press a kiss to his cheek, then she slid back onto the bed and snuggled up against his side. “Good night, querido, I love you.”

Miguel pressed his lips to the top of her head, relieved. “Good night, cariño. I love you too.”

He sat on the fire escape of the building across from her apartment, her work tablet clutched tightly in his hands. His gaze was fixed on the loading bar as it crawled across the screen, torturously slow - he'd be doing her a favour by getting rid of this thing once he was done with it. Then finally: ‘venom virus uploaded’. He snickered with delight, then disassembled the tablet and crushed the pieces to bits. The spurt of victory continued to rush through his veins as he climbed down the fire escape, then tossed the scraps of the tablet into the rubbish bin. He grinned as he pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and began strolling back to the bus stop: that would show that dumb AI not to mess with him.

Tags: @jadeloverxd @migshusben