#and that conflicts can be solved

[radaverse]

Thank you for your apology Gin, it's great to see you acknowledge your mistakes and work hard to change. I'm glad to see you've been getting help and support

I understand why you acted like you did in my server, I myself have some deep rooted fear of rejection and loneliness too so I know how it feels True that I did feel under a lot pressure often back then as it is my job to keep the place comfy and safe for everyone in it, sometimes I nor my mod friends knew what to do so that's why we took a decision back then. We ended up pretty shaken up but we've been doing alright Like skl said, I can't just say "I forgive you for everything" as I didn't go through most things others went in this situation and can't speak for others But regarding what happened directly to me, I think it's time I just let bygones be bygones I think. I was never a woman to hold a grudge, even less if I see you've been working hard on improving Thank you for this, I can tell your apology is sincere and you really wish to fix everything that happened. I hope you continue taking care of your mental health and making sure your future interactions with friends are people are healthy and safe for you and everyone involved

Hello, this is Gin, As in NewGin, I need to talk about what I’ve done in the Pizza tower community...

I’ve been far too parasocial, far too clingy, to the point of crossing boundaries and making others uncomfortable. I’ve never made an apology like this before; I’ll be honest about everything. I can only explain what was going through my head at that time, but none of it is a justification, it never will be, and I can only work on it to prevent all of this from happening again.

My previous account was deleted out of guilt and panic, and I kept checking others accounts then in late March, only to see what those who blocked said about me, I wanted to know what I was doing wrong then, but it only crossed boundaries again. And it led to further spiraling until someone sat down and spoke to me, I was too upset to think, I hurt so many fans in the community, and I wanted to fix things fast then than give it more thought and time. I was too impulsive and panicked, and it only made things worse.

For the last several months, I’ve been talking and thinking about what happened with professionals. The majority concluded That there was no malice involved, but I suffered from “dependency disorder”, a disorder in which you constantly rely on others for assurance or fear of being alone. And I was afraid of being alone more than anything. This has gone undiagnosed for years, and considered to have maladaptive skills. I’m currently still in group therapy to practice better boundaries, learning how to manage stress, anxiety and panic. Better coping skills I never bothered to learn out of fear of change. I never wanted anyone to be emotionally hurt, I constantly fear accidentally hurting people because of my social skills, I’m aware how damn oblivious I am, and it hurts how so much of this could have been avoided if I bothered to learn healthier skills sooner, it’s my fault everyone is hurt, It’s my fault I’m like this. No one else is at fault.

I kept breaking boundaries in thoughts of “maybe like this its ok?, maybe this can be an exception if I can make it work like this?” And other times it is just barging in freaking out without considering the person’s feelings. None of what I did was healthy for those involved.

I’m horrified with how many I’ve hurt, I gave so much trouble to everyone, I’m sorry for putting so much pressure on you when I struggled with communicating to others, I’m sorry for coming into your dms when I was panicking, and used you as a therapist, a sort of security blanket. I’m sorry, I took so long to get help. I thought that after getting advice, I would instantly know not to make that mistake again, but I’ve should have taken time to sit down and think about it more than panicking to fix things or avoid my own uncomfortable thoughts. I’m so sorry I put you through so much crap instead of looking to a therapist, you told me multiple times to take it to them, but I feared so much they wouldn’t understand, I…I never bothered trying out of fear and ended up hurting you more. I kept crossing your boundaries when you were so patient with me, and I took it for granted rather than getting proper help. I’m still getting help, and its been a good progress but I still need more to do with the program. I understand if you don’t forgive after my behavior. I hope you’re doing alright. And I hope the future is kind to you.

I’m sorry Dingle, for getting you involved. I’m sorry for putting gore in your fic, I didn’t think at the time it would hurt, because to me, it was mild...but it still hurt you. I really did think at the time that peppino sacrificing his own chance at a cure to cure his adopted kid ( dingles oc) while getting himself injured showcased how peppino is willing to go through hell to help his kid. a character going through hell but having a happy ending, but in my excitement, I didn't realize how hurtful it was to write such angst of their comfort character without their permission. I’m sorry I vented my fears to you.  I really shouldn’t have interacted with them as nervous and panicky as I was, I shouldn’t have said “oh your uncomfortable? Maybe I’ll cancel the fic then :(“ though that wasn’t meant to be guilt tripping but me being sad because I liked the concept, but I said it guilt trippy. I shouldn’t have interacted with my self-esteem and emotional instability. It got them hurt, confused, and traumatized. I never wanted them hurt or feel used. I thought I was being a friend with sharing small vents. But I should have stepped away. They probably wouldn’t be as hurt today. And it wasn’t exclusive to them, my instability and low self-esteem made others “emotional care givers” I’m sorry I went in others dms and get others involved, adults and teens alike in my nervous breakdowns, and constantly seeking validation. I honestly thought it was normal to share distress to a certain extent with people you knew, but I was too over trusting, and it put pressure on the same people I looked up to. I was maladaptive.

I’m also sorry for sharing private conversations with others in forms of text or screenshots, the intent, in my perspective then, was to avoid misunderstandings, as I felt I poorly explained things or poorly understood what the messages were saying due to be aware of my own autism, a part of that reassurance aspect handled in the worst way. It made people instead feel they were only getting side of the issue, not to mention a breach of trust and privacy as they did not consent to these. This was not the correct way for me to handle those situations at all, and I will never do it again, I’m sorry.

I never wanted drama, slander or harm. I just wanted to be a part of the Pizza Tower community, I saw people sharing art and making art for others in the PT community, and I thought, hey I like their characters and ocs and art. Maybe I can write for them, I can’t draw so why not write for them. I want to do nice things for others fans, make friends with people share my creations and make people come together and be happy.  I wanted fans to get along with each other, I wanted to bring everyone closer together as a fandom, I wanted to be part of it.  But all I ended up doing was being parasocial and clingy and hurt everyone, I just wanted to make friends, I just wanted everyone happy. And I was stupid about it.

 I thought I was making friends by writing those fics, but despite truly liking those ocs , and respecting those artists, was more of a seal of friendship than building a natural friendship. What I thought was a kind gesture was crossing a boundary. And it put those creators in uncomfortable positions. Not on

This fandom made me so happy that whenever I saw someone lose interest or leave, I felt scared I would lose that happiness. It’s also why I reacted to people leaving Rads server. I also tried to make sure people got along and felt scared when people fought or were angry with each other and would share it with those who knew another, out of fear of people breaking apart. To keep the peace, I didn’t want people to misunderstand each other because I knew how scary that feeling was. And I saw myself in turn, being so intent to be happy and checking on people if they were ok, as annoying.  None of this is an excuse, I got too invasive and involved. In wanting to make friends and felt liked and belonging as well, I got too nervous that I was stressing people out and panicked, asking if I was annoying them. And yet I kept doing it just to be liked and validated. Because I feared being disliked and alone more than anything in the world, and developed unhealthy coping habits I feared to stop, afraid to develop healthy ones only fearing “what if the healthy ones won’t work? The current one can’t be hurting anyone.” They did, and it snowballed to what lead up to this.

I was selfish in trying to avoid paranoia and keep myself happy without taking another’s feelings into consideration. I will no longer be doing such and will keep it completely between my therapists. And the reason I didn’t before, is I feared they wouldn’t understand fandom or my fears well.

I kept wanting others happiness but also my own, and it conflicted with each other, and I got selfish. Sometimes you have got to sacrifice your own happiness to make others happy, but I wanted both. And it made me controlling just to have both.

It’s been scary writing this all out, I have autism, anxiety disorder, but its not an excuse. I can’t undo what I did, I wish I could, knowing how many people I hurt, But I can move forward with healthier skills I’ve gained and learned from Group therapy and the therapist. Though I tend to fear the unknown when it comes to the future. I won’t be doing what I did before for certain. After all what happened, I understand if you guys don’t want to forgive me, I still can’t forgive myself. But I never want to hurt anyone like that again. I want to be a better person.

I don’t know what to do from here, I'm still in group therapy for healthier skills so I can be a better person and never do this again. I don’t know if I’ll come back here. I understand if I’m wanted gone. I can only say sorry so many times. But I hope everyone can be at peace.

[wizardpink]

The difference between Armand's relationship with Louis and his with Daniel is that when Louis said "you can read [Sam's script] to me while I fuck you" he had no intention of listening, he just wanted to get Armand in the coffin. Daniel would not only listen but give critique and feedback between grunts.

[elodieunderglass]

Felt i needed to explain some characteristics of a very common character found in an admittedly narrow (ha) corridor of the known world

[bookshelfdreams]

one thing i love about charles is that he's always ready to throw down. no problem is so complex it can't be solved with violence. he looked at this fucked up, illogical world of supernatural horrors beyond comprehension with its myriad complicated rules, where every entity has it's own unique vulnerability and decided that you know what? there actually is a universal solution to every problem called Bash That Thing's Fucking Head In - and it works a solid 99% of the time!

Much like he doesn't care about every lock having a unique key, he doesn't care about the specifics of defeating monsters and nightmares. Yeah he knows all about casting spells, this next one is something called MOLOTOV COCKTAIL

[venice-1987]

I feel like Ezran would get a lot more grace within the show and the fandom both if they actually leaned into the fact that this is a terrified and angry 12 year old stressed out about how he is going to protect his kingdom that he is simultaneously grieving. Emphasis on terrified.

He could advocate for peace easily from a peaceful throne. That is being tested, and we did get quiet moments between king Ezran and Queen Aanya talking about ruling, but I think he could have also benefitted from quiet moments between kid Ezran and his adult support system (Soren and Corvus).

I also think this would have made the Harrow Bird reveal a bit more impactful. There are two facets to Ezran: him as a king, and him as a kid, which conflict so heavily. Him being tested like this and realizing that Soren was right in saying he was too young for this, and that there is a solution.

[iztea]

Would you ever be willing to draw atsushi, akutagawa, or other characters? They would look so ethereal in your art style imo

Also what are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

i have drawn Aku like. twice a while back which is a shame cause he's one of my faves and i like both him and atsushi and many other charas 😭 my Dazai exclusivity is purely accidental. He has me in a chokehold and brother, I've never been much of a fighter.

I've shared my thoughts on the recent chap on twt (more or less) so i'll paraphrase from there but overall i think it was very hype! i usually complain about the plot because the arc feels like suuuuch a drag atp but I've always considered bsd to be a very character-driven show rather than plot-driven (like AoT to give an example) so I've come to embrace the wackiness of the plot although it does tackle some very interesting elements this time like spacetime (more on that later).

Character-wise, it was very curious to see Fyodors reaction to like., the human spirit and just how genuinely disgusted and repulsed he was by Atsushi's selflessness; it really makes you wonder what exactly happened that shaped him into such a spiteful man (perhaps his liver was diseased aha ok no sorry). And then he dropped that line about Dazai not being fit to be his other half??? Which really raises a lot of questions, first of all being if Dazai was even aware of this soulmate fantasy of his? Did he ever ask ?😭 (he'd still refuse but still). Maybe if he stopped trying to kill him then he'd get the message. And not to make everything about skk ( their relationship is an integral part of the show IT'S NOT MY FAULT nor do i mean this in a shippy way‐at all) but....I'll just paste what i said on twt because im too lazy to rephrase it

and the MY GOAT AKU came to save the day although i dont think it's really him atm the fit goes crazyyyyyyyy harddddddddddddddd we love you harukawa !!! <33

i also . okay since they brought irl physics into this then so will I so hear me out:

-the AmeNoFuku thing exists in the the 4-dimentional spacetime so that means the principles of General Relativity still apply.

-What distorts spacetime? Gravity.

-Who can offensively manipulate gravity and cause great destruction and havoc? That's right! Chuuya in his corrupted form SO, unless the AmeNoFuku-triple-McCombo bitch opperates in the context of Special Relativity (because he did mention his body being in the Minkowski space where gravity is effectively neglected--but come on why would he that's such a cop out) then that means that 2+2 = Chuuya is fully capable of defeating that thing and saving the day if he weren't in France!!! thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[theclownghoul]

I still really love Act l of Arcane Season 2 and I was so hopeful with how everything was set up and I still think everything is the first Act was good, approaching Season 1 level.

However now that we have the whole season I’ve seen a lot more people start to interrogate the writing, specifically of Cait and Vi.

I was first to defend the way things were done in act l but now that we have the rest of the story it puts many of the choices in a different light and it’s definitely worth criticism.

It remains me a lot of how I feel about Wasteland, the scene of Ekko talking Jinx down. The scene itself is great, stunning and really shows the care both of them have for each other despite all they’ve been through. Ekko not giving up on her because he sees her value where she sees a curse. It’s interesting to see that at her lowest she doesn’t bother to hide that she cares deeply about him. It’s good (though objectively should have been longer) and in isolation I appreciate it.

Retroactively it leaves a sour taste in my mouth. After the ending and Jinx “sacrifice” (that’s set to the same song) I feel like the writers really didn’t care about Jinx coming back from rock bottom with her supports (not seeing anything in between doesn’t help this). She dies and it’s framed the same way as all of her previous attempts and now it’s framed as good. It poisons the scene with Ekko the same as Vi’s later writing poisons her decisions in Act l. Because we now know they don’t care and were not going to be responsible with what they were depicting.

That scene also seems to be unnaturally beautiful, combined with the glorification of Jinx’s sacrifice it’s sickening. They wanted a spectacle and that was what they chose to debut the Z -Drive….

Even the good parts have to be called into question after the later decisions.

[talxns]

Co-creator of Batman Bill Finger did an interview in 1972 in which he responded to the question of whether Batman and Robin were “homosexual fantasies”.

His answer was that he “didn’t think of Batman and Robin in those terms.” But the next thing he says piqued my interest in regards to their intended relationship dynamic.

“I thought of [their relationship] in terms of … Frank Merriwell and Dick Merriwell, his half-brother, who was the kid he was taking care of.”

Brothers! Very interesting.

[cdroloisms]

what does it take to end the disc war and the answer is c!wilbur putting the damn things on a shelf and telling dream and tommy no . lol

[genericpuff]

i have nothing to say about the newest episodes of LO

so I'll let past me from the year 2022 say it instead

because everything they said a year and a half ago ironically still applies today and i don't even know how that's possible but it's where we are 💀😭

[akkivee]

when you invert chuuoku’s pink, you get that green secondary colour attached to bb and with every canon release we get ever closer to bb realising their true potential as chuuoku’s antithesis

[the-lark-ascending69]

Unpopular opinion but Steve telling Nancy he would date Robin if he could is creepy as hell i wish we talked about it more

[project-sekai-takes]

I hear all of you who say that going for the "the real way to recover from abuse is reconcile with your abuser" three times in such a short span- I really, really do. And I think the time that Mafuyu spent of his mom's house was invaluable in his healing.

But I'll be honest- Mafuyu is the only instance of this which I can truly buy the idea that it could work as PART of the healing.

I do NOT buy this with Toya. I buy it even less with Ena. But Mafuyu still views his mom and her care for him as warm and loving, even if he still does fear her. And unlike physical abuse, emotional, mental and psychological abuse is harder to understand.

Maybe I feel this way because my parents were just like Mafuyu's mom that I feel this way, but for some people it's not actually unrealistic to reconnect, reconcile or even go back to living with their abusers. So with Mafuyu, and ONLY with Mafuyu, I can buy him wanting to make peace with the woman that for so long he didn't even know was abusing him (and maybe he still doesn't).

Like I said though, with Toya it's still really weird and with Ena it's entirely nonsensical. There absolutely is merit to the criticism, this is just my own personal opinion

.

[cheriekos]

🫠

[britcision]

So lemme tell you a secret

Most people you meet in a day are at least a little conflict averse. Most people do not want to make a scene

People who know this and are not averse to making a scene can become fucking unstoppable, and many of them use this power for evil

You can stop them in their goddamn tracks about 55% of the time by doing your best impression of someone who is not conflict averse

If someone comes up to you and you have any feeling they wanna give you a bad time, do not greet them quietly

Greet them loudly, as loudly as they greet you if not a little louder

This tells them they can’t make you back down or give in on the threat of drawing attention; a good chunk of the time, they will not want attention themselves if you’re the one drawing it

You don’t need to be confrontational or aggressive; just turn, greet them as normal, and up the volume just enough to show you’re not hiding or scared of loud noises

(This does not need to be true so long as you fake it well)

Note: this is not a guarantee, but honestly if they were gonna give you a hard time and draw attention they were probably gonna do that anyway

Stay cool, stay polite, and don’t let them intimidate you into whispering to avoid creating a scene. If they wanna make a scene, let them play the villain

[southern--downpour]

ok rewatched the ending bits, i really dont think sevika joining the council was even meant to be a fix-all for piltover and zauns issues i think it was intended to show just a step in the right direction