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jd-loves-fiction · 8 days ago

Note

For the Valentines event (whips out another oc to base my request off)

Blade with the Grumpy x Sunshine trope. Generally just very fluffy with reader being clingy and full of life even despite being a Stellaron Hunter themselves. Basically the light of the group, a little ball of sunshine and they unknowingly made Blade's days a little better and his dead heart feel warm. But can he confess? 👀

🌑TRUST HE WILL!!!

Hope this is good because I kinda just blacked out when writing this cuz brain fog TEEHEE :)

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼

Blade has to fight the urge to turn away from your blinding light every time it turns his way, feeling as if he doesn't deserve to be touched by it.

Insistent feelings of self-loathing aside, Blade has come to accept that your warmth is deeply appreciated, even if he used to try and deny it. Companionship on a deeper level could spell a repeat of his past and yet… he yearned for it, most especially with you.

But how does a man like himself even go about doing that?

The way Silver Wolf and Kafka stare at him none too subtly when you’re around tells him his feelings are clear enough to be seen from the outside so surely you're aware of them. Surely.

Perhaps you are aware, he sometimes thinks to himself upon finding his mind clearer than usual, but same as him you're unsure of how to approach all that goes unsaid between the two of you.

Just as he does you wonder if he holds you in his thoughts at all, if he lays awake thinking about tracing scars and brushing long locks of dark hair away from a scarlet gaze.

He does, of course he does, it’s all he thinks about these days and it’s quickly becoming disruptive.

Today is a special day in certain planets, or so Kafka had teasingly told some time ago – something about ‘Valentine’, a celebration of love. Very subtle.

The irony of all his groaning and grunting complaining even while researching the holiday and its customs.

First he tried a letter – to get all those indescribable feelings onto paper so they'd never be forgotten even as forgot himself, but no words could ever suffice when it comes to expressing the inexpressible (how he still denies being a romantic after that, remains a mystery).

Then, he thought to bring flowers – a beautiful arrangement of them made just for you to hopefully visualize these intangible affections he carries with him everywhere he goes. But those were not adequate either, their meanings too vague with too much up to interpretation – he could not bear the thought that you might misunderstand his message after so much effort.

Also he was devastated to find out the true meaning of the red spider lilies you so adore and associate with him… Though he can't exactly say it doesn't make any sense at all. In fact, it makes quite a whole lot of sense, but it’s not exactly what he’d wish for in a confession bouquet.

And then finally, a new opportunity seems to throw itself upon his lap – you invite him out to a sort of ‘love festival’ in Penacony, of course. Although Blade finds himself barely reacting to most emotional stimuli these days, he cannot deny the hopeful stirring of his heart.

He’s quick to accept your invitation, so quick he can almost hear Kafka giggling in his ear already.

Blade tries not to think too hard about what he'll say leading up to the day, but it’s all he ends up thinking about anyway. Strangely enough, no matter the theme, all thoughts to do with you seem to have a soothing effect on the usual cacophony of dark thoughts that occupy his mind when left alone.

Penacony is as lively as ever, perhaps even more so due to the influx of loving couples flooding the ‘Planet of Festivities’ hoping to celebrate their love. To say that both you and Blade felt a bit out of place would be beyond understatement.

The Stellaron Hunters decided to take this as a much needed break so somewhere in the crowd should be Silver Wolf and Firefly but they’ve been purposely keeping their distance as you and Blade wander the bright and colorful streets in near-absolute silence, waiting for something. Anything.

Honestly, their anticipation might even outweigh your own – given you’re almost completely convinced nothing will come of this. You’d come to this conclusion after hours of screaming into pillows after asking Blade to the festival, embarrassed and elated in equal measure — realizing that losing your mind thinking about whether or not he reciprocates your feelings is not the way you should spend the days leading up to the festival.

So you walk beside each other, barely saying a word, flinching as your hands brush, enjoying the sights and sounds as they pass you by — too overwhelmed by all that surrounds you to make any moves at all.

Finally you come to a nearly empty square, where the music is faint and the chatter is gentle, “Let’s sit down,” you suggest and he lets you pull him along to a bench without more than a grunt. His hand is cold beneath the bandages.

Words linger on your tongue for many silent moments – all hoping to prod his mind since he’s so hard to read. Though, Kafka would assure you otherwise.

An ugly thought worms its way into your mind, green and jealous without any right to be. They both do not care for each other that way, you know this, but doubt is not often reasonable.

“I–” Blade begins, voice low and gruff, now more so than usual. He clears his throat, eyes away from yours, “I have been thinking… about you.” If he’d have his wish, he’d find a way to be subtler, take his time, but he doesn't know how long he truly has left.

“...Me?” You reply. Without his heavy, intimidating, gaze on you it’s hard to discern his intentions. You miss it, despite how small it makes you feel.

“Yes, you.” He speaks slowly, deliberately, “Your constant presence has become a blessing to my mind as of late.”

“Me? I mean… I can't do what Kafka does…” There it is, that green ugliness.

“She– Kafka’s abilities have nothing to do with this.” Blade finally turns to you, tone harsher than he meant it. “They are innate, effortless. The soothing you bring is born of effort and… love.”

You can't help but blink at him for a moment – you hadn't considered that. Seems the jealousy had dug its nails deeper into you than you’d realized. “I… see.”

“I was merely making an assumption.”

“What?”

“That second part. I was just assuming. I hope I was not wrong.”

‘Expectant’ is not a word you’d usually use to describe Blade, but in this moment it makes complete sense as he waits for you to give him a sign, any at all, as to how you feel about him. As if the constant fleeting touches, soft words and gentle tones you frequently exchange aren't enough of an answer.

“You are not wrong, Blade.” The answer comes almost too quiet to hear, were Blade not the recipient – you're sure the man could hear a whisper in a thunderstorm if he truly wished to.

With a face growing hotter and hotter, you have no choice but to turn away as you wait for his response. Though he’ll have none of it, delicately raising your gaze back to his, open and vulnerable like you’ve never seen it – safe for the one time you helped treat his rapidly closing wounds after a bound of mara took over his consciousness.

“You know of my… affliction. You know about…” Everything, he means to say, you see it in his eyes. “And yet you feel the same way I do? Knowing what you know?”

“I do. The heart is rarely reasonable, you know.” The both of you can't help but laugh at the notion, clearing most of the heaviness of the moment.

True as it may be, you know what you’re signing up for, as does he. In your eyes, that just means you’ve both seen the worst of each other and not turned away.

At the end of the day, the heart wants what it wants. And with foreheads touching and a small and familiar audience, you silently vow to take what may come together.

#❣��event #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai sr #blade hsr #blade x reader #blade x you #hsr blade x reader #honkai star rail blade #hsr blade #blade x y/n

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stardustizuku · 1 year ago

Text

Unfortunately I came across a very strange and misinformed video about Black Butler.

It’s not good. Don’t watch it. Unless you wanna ruin your day, in which case have fun.

Despite it all, I watched it. What left me wondering, however, was how off the mark the person who made the video was on, well, everything.

From their insistence that the Book of Circus Arc theme or point is non existent, to reading Ciel’s character so badly they genuinely thought the Green Witch Arc did nothing for his character development.

While baffled, it also made me think on how someone could read Black Butler so badly.

Sure, you can say that there’s no real way to read or interpret something “in the wrong way” but interpreting The Hunger Games as a pure battle-royale action story would make you believe it’s bad.

“Why are we focusing so much on how the capitol preps them?” Or “Why isn’t Katniss winning everything?” Or “I wanna know more about the rebellion” All questions that miss the actual point of the story - which is criticizing (not solving or ignoring) the way that media distracts us from violence via spectacle.

The same thing applies here. While there is no “right” way to consume media, there’s things that the author makes clear they wanna focus when creating a story. Things that, if you understand, make the story you’re reading actually make sense.

And in Black Butler there’s three things that you have to understand to properly get what Yana is saying.

Sebastian is the protagonist

Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship IS the story.

And that relationship is, fundamentally, a positive one.

A quicker version of it would be:

Black Butler is a love story from the POV of Sebastian, and you have to ship it to get it

- but that’s not entirely true.

You can still look at it as a complex but ultimately positive rship and get in broad strokes of what it’s conveying. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Although, it helps much more than a platonic framing.

(That said, interpreting their rship as father and son, still isn’t the best way to go about it. Mostly because by its very nature of “soul consuming” their relationship is extremely sexually charged. And hey, if you’re into that I don’t judge. However, if you’re desperately trying to interpret their rship as NOT romantic to the point you fall back on heteronormative patriarchal ideals of nuclear familiar as framing device, I don’t think this interpretation bodes with you)

Now, having all that ground work:

Why do I say these are the key components to understand BB?

Okay so, first,

1. Sebastian is the Main Character. The protagonist.

There’s a lot of people who wanna argue against it, claiming he’s either the villain or the antagonist. Both wrong.

He does not function as an antagonist. Even if, and an emphasis on if, you consider Ciel to the protagonist, Sebastian isn’t a narrative antagonist.

If you wanna go back to Creative Writing 101, be my guest. An antagonist is directly defined by the protagonist. It’s the opposing force. If the protagonist wants A, the antagonist wants to stop them from getting A.

Sebastian’s catchphrase is “Yes, my Lord”. He never opposes Ciel, in fact quite the contrary. By the mere fact they’ve created contract, it means that they’ve both agreed in the inevitable outcome.

People want to frame Sebastian as the villain, because Ciel having his soul taken by a demon, would be a BAD END in the context of their moral compass. They see Ciel as a frail victim of abuse, who’s being tricked by Sebastian, who wants Ciel’s soul.

Which is an. Interpretation. A bad one. But still one.

The narrative (and whether the narrative fits your personal moral compass and lack of critical thinking is irrelevant) treats Ciel as an agent in his own destiny. The abuse he suffered was the moment in which he had no control. It’s only after he meets Sebastian that he can rid of both his guilt and his despair, and do what he wants.

In this case though, it’s revenge.

The famous “Asthma” scene shows this. If Ciel is taken back to his past, he becomes helpless. Swarmed with pain and memories that make it so that he can’t even react. Sebastian is his saving grace. If Ciel didn’t have him, and the power he wields to rebuilt what’s broken, he would crumble once more.

If Ciel has a panic attack, because of all the pain he has, Sebastian picks him up and says “you are not a helpless child anymore, you are not a victim anymore, you have the power to do anything. So, what do you wanna do?”

Ciel’s answer is to kill them.

A proper analogy would be to say that, if Sebastian offers a gun, Ciel pulls the trigger. They are both at fault. Sebastian, strictly speaking, is not here to directly cause Ciel’s downfall, but as a tool Ciel uses to plunge into the abyss.

If, again if, you were to frame Ciel as a protagonist, Sebastian falls closer to the “Voice of reason” character. Not a literal voice of reason, but a literary one. If you have a protagonist and an antagonist exchanging ideals, the Voice of Reason serves to engage with the protagonist on their own ideals.

That said, Ciel isn’t the protagonist. The story quickly falls apart if you interpret it as such.

Things such as Ciel’s character arc being…shall I say odd?

It’s not that his character arc isn’t there, but it’s never lineal. His goals stay the same, the only thing that happens is that we start to peel back the “why”s of his goals. Throughout the series it’s never about Ciel understanding himself better, he knows who he is, he knows what he wants, he knows why he wants it. He doesn’t ever need to uncover these, but simply remember them. Because it’s always about the audience understanding Ciel.

He knows he wants revenge.

In the Circus Arc: He knows that he needs Sebastian because without him, the pain of the abuse he suffered would be too much to bear. But WE are introduced to it.

In the Book of Atlantis: He knows that with this new lease he does not want happiness and peace, he wants revenge. The one being told this is the audience.

In Green Witch Arc: He knows that their revenge isn’t for his family, the real Ciel or guilt. It’s because he wants it. He’s angry, he’s upset, and this is entirely for him. The one being told this is the audience.

Except. Not really. The one either discovering or remembering these key moments - is always Sebastian.

Sebastian is the one who reassures him that he now holds the power of a demon to override the pain. Sebastian is the one who remembers that to override that pain, Ciel wants revenge. And Sebastian is the one who discovers that that revenge isn’t built out of grief or guilt, but for himself.

We are witnessing it all, through the eyes of Sebastian.

This is why we have an extremely vague idea of who Ciel is, Sebastian does not have the whole picture.

If you haven’t been reading this manga with your eyes closed, you’ll realize we have a better grasp at Sebastian’s character than that of Ciel. We get a lot of insight on how he thinks and what he values through light hearted dialogue he has with the servants. You even see the character development in these little interactions.

Think about how when he first arrived to the mansion he magically created food with no regards to taste, but when he meets Bard he states that food is created to see whoever will eat it, smile.

That is character development, more than you will be able to see from Ciel.

Because Ciel’s character, while not static, doesn’t go from point A to point B. Mostly, cause it doesn’t need to. He went through that when he lost the real Ciel and got Sebastian. Everything we are watching is the falling out.

Now, given the fact that I’ve told you that it makes more sense for Sebastian to be the protagonist/main character, and that he 100% isn’t either a villain or antagonist in ANY of the interpretations you can get:

Do you believe me?

If you don’t, you’ll probably believe Yana herself.

This is from the first Volume, where Yana herself describes the process of making Black Butler. The primary idea behind the creation of BB was a butler as a “hero”.

If you go back to the introductory chapter, you notice that Ciel is barely mentioned. He’s simply the one to give Sebastian impossible tasks and standards that Sebastian must find how to overcome.

Ciel is properly introduced until the NEXT chapter. The second chapter has this formula too, introducing Lizzie as a problem to overcome. Although, to Sebastian the best way to “get rid of the problem” is simply to indulge her.

The issue here being that the problem isn’t as simple as a business meeting but something directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s past. Each time that Sebastian has to solve a problem, it chips away at Ciel. While with Lizzie he shows a persona, once he’s alone with Sebastian he acknowledges the toll it took on him. It serves to build Ciel as Sebastian’s master, and how some problems aren’t as simple as discarding a tablecloth.

The third and the fourth, are a unified narrative, with a similar premise to the first chapter. Ciel gets kidnapped and Sebastian must find a way to retrieve him without raising suspicions.

If the first chapter is to set up what Sebastian must do as a butler, the third and the fourth serve to set up what he must do as a demon.

The entirety of the volume, and up to Book of Circus Arc, is about how Sebastian tries to follow the increasingly absurd orders that Ciel has - it is not about Ciel trying to solve them.

That’s how they work, we follow Sebastian for the most part, because he’s the one having to come up with the solutions.

If anything, in early Kuro, where the emphasis was more on a slice of life conflict, Ciel is the antagonist. He’s the one creating problems for Sebastian to solve.

What’s more, in the second volume, the very first chapter is one from Sebastian’s POV. So far, we hadn’t gotten an entire chapter from Ciel’s POV. In fact, I would find it hard to point to a single chapter where Ciel is the POV throughout. The reveal of real Ciel and the flashback is the closest contender.

But once we move past early Kuro, and into Book of Circus, this set up changes.

It’s fairly easy to assume that Ciel is the main character, because from this point on the conflict of the plot sorta surrounded him. We spend a lot of time with him and with his story. The enemies start being people directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s trauma. Rarely, if at all, we get to see Sebastian before he met Ciel.The framing device for the story, is Ciel.

This is where point 2 gets intertwined.

2.- Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship IS the story.

The story begins at the point where Sebastian and Ciel met. Who Ciel was before he met Sebastian, informs why he’s the way he is when he does. You have to know all he went through to understand why he’s a brat, why he lashes out. However Sebastian’s past doesn’t matter…because Sebastian himself doesn’t care much for who he was, before he was “Sebastian”. That’s also part of the narrative.

Unlike Ciel, he doesn’t seem opposed to revealing information from before the contract. He talks about how pets from where he is from are gross, he talks about how he knows how to dance because of other places he’s been to, and alludes to the life he's lived before.

Just that, to him, they're footnotes.

He makes allusions to a very bland, uninteresting life, up to the point he meets Ciel.

That’s why we don’t know more about his past.

As for why we focus on Ciel’s story…okay maybe we need Creative Writing lessons 102

I studied Dramaturgy for about 3 to 4 years. And something you notice is how play-writing is the quintessential story telling. It’s making it work with the bare bones of a story.

Some other mediums have more finesse, more depth, or more spectacle - all amazing things that work for whatever they’re created for. But understanding a play, how and why it works, helps understand the fundamentals of any derivative story telling medium.

Particularly, conflict.

Conflict is dialogue and dialogue can take many forms. A story, in its essence, is a dialogue between two opposing ideas.

Take Batman, for example, who embodies the ideas of justice and order. On his own, he’s not a well rounded character.

If you ONLY present him, in a vaccum with nothing else, you don’t have a character. You have a list of characteristics that you’re supposed to know.

You only know who he is when you have dialogue with another character.

I say Dialogue, but it doesn’t necessarily mean spoken language at one another. Dialogue can mean fist fighting, playing tabletop games, talking to other people about the other, or even just a competition. The idea is to simply to compare and contrast both ideas.

If you want an example on how tabletop games serve as dialogue, watch the video “Well, Someone Had to Explain the Liar’s Dice Scene” by Lord Ravecraft

Another example, were we to retake Batman, you have him fight Joker. Who’s the embodiment of chaos and randomness.

In the following picture, you get far more information than the one previously shown. While the Joke fights with daggers and fake guns, Batman only uses his fists. He doesn’t use the tricks that Joker does. His serious demeanor, contrasted with Joker’s glee at the dangerous situation. The fact that Batman has a deathly grip on Joker’s shirt, while the Joker doesn’t, which shows a desperation to catch him.

You are being shown, through a dialogue, who Batman is.

It’s so much easier and much more effective to explore a character through another character.

This is the reason why Shonen has a tendency to make incredibly good gay ships. If you want to explore Naruto’s personality, and his feelings of inferiority, you HAVE to have him interact with Sasuke.

If you wanna understand Hinata’s passion for volleyball, you have him enjoy himself the most with the only other crazy motherfucker who’s as obsessed with volleyball - Kageyama.

And I think that originally, Yana had this problem.

Sebastian was the protagonist, but she had little room to develop him as a character in the confines of the manor, dealing with random enemies.

She likely tried to create Grell as someone of the same stature as Sebastian. Someone who could be this other person to engage dialogue with and show or allude to his past a bit more.

The problem being that Sebastian didn’t care for his past. Or really, engaging with anyone. He sees everyone as below him, but when confronted with Grell who isn’t below him, he doesn’t wanna talk to her.

So you’re stuck in conundrum.

How do you have dialogue with a character, that as a character trait, doesn’t really wanna have dialogue?

Well, Grell also solves the problem. Because only the moment she gets him to start any semblance of a dialogue - is questioning why he’s serving Ciel.

And this is the moment when it’s perfectly cemented that the focus of the story is their relationship.

Why is Sebastian here? Why does he stay? What did he see in Ciel that made him want this extremely convoluted contract?

THATS the dialogue.

THATS the conversation we’re having in Black Butler.

We need to know Ciel because understanding who he is, let’s us know WHY /Sebastian/ is here.

Then slowly, with the introduction with the Undertaker, we find out Sebastian’s conflict.

Which is…

He’s scared of losing Ciel. It becomes apparent with the constant imagery of the Undertaker taking away Ciel and at some point even obtaining r!Ciel’s body, that he’s worried it might happen.

But he can only be worried that Ciel might be taken away if he wants to stay near Ciel.

And that’s his character arc.

Realizing that he actually likes Ciel, cares for him and the role he plays a butler that he doesn’t want this to end.

In the first chapters, he doesn’t feel a need to protect Ciel anymore than what’s strictly necessary. Just don’t die, that’s about as deep as his involvement in chapter 4 gets.

But by the Green Witch Arc, he feels a need to protect Ciel from ANY harm.

This is why I also said

3.- Their relationship is fundamentally a positive one.

In broad strokes, Sebastian to Ciel is the person who allows him to survive. He’s not worried about giving up his soul since he’s already dead. While Ciel to Sebastian, is someone who’s making him have fun. He’s slowly becoming more and more attached to Ciel and the life he has with Ciel.

Their relationship is not that of just a predator and prey, but also of master and pet.

In the terms that Black Butler itself would call: Sebastian is a wild wolf acting like a collared dog.

Ciel is aware that the wild beast will eat him at the end of the day, but if he clings hard to leash for now, he might just be able to have Sebastian maul his abusers.

Sebastian as a dog, currently finds that he enjoys being a chained dog.

(This is demonstrated in the Green Witch arc where he quite literally says, he doesn’t wanna be a wild beast and prefers to be a butler)

And much like the actual DOG Sebastian, Ciel constantly interprets his attempts to get close and protect him, as an act of aggression.

This push and pull of Ciel’s perception of Sebastian and Sebastian’s true motives is what feeds the story.

And the briefs interludes were that isn’t the case (what other people call the “plot”, but I would refer to as the connective tissue) such as Sullivan and Wolfram, the other servant’s past, the grim reapers and the like, serve as a parallel to Ciel and Sebastian relationship. Either to signify how they care for each other, highlight their weaknesses or fears, or explore how they feel.

It’s no surprise that Sullivan and Wolfram are parallels to Ciel and Sebastian. A sheltered sickly child who seeks the protection of a cold hearted machine that only knew how to kill, but who eventually found he cared for her genuinely.

Undertaker and Claudia’s relationship being heavily paralleled with them, even though we aren’t 109% sure what they had but heavily implied it was a romantic attraction from the undead supernatural creature and a Phantomhive.

Everything is a parallel.

That’s why, like the approach of the terrible original video, is flawed.

Trying to interpret Black Butler as action scene after action scene, with mystery after mystery with the only connective tissue being the mystery of who burned down the mansion - is missing the trees for the forest.

That’s not the point.

And if you’re too much of a prude to engage with gothic horror in its gothic horror game, I see little point as to why you even bother to engage with it at all.

A lot of people, including the person who create the video, simply refuse to acknowledge Black Butler IS the story of Sebastian and Ciel as a close and positive relationship, romantically and sexually charged. The reason for it being that they’re “put off” by it.

Part of me wonders how much that is genuinely true, and how much is just performative outrage. It’s like ignoring the fact that Cersei and Jami are in an incestous relationship and try to frame it as “platonic love”, because the idea of it is THAT off putting.

But regardless of that, if you don’t like the fact that it’s as canon as canon can get, I would reccomend you don’t engage with the story at all.

As I’ve explained, the entirety of the series is about them. If you refuse to see Sebastian and Ciel as, at the very least, a duo that cares deeply for the other - you aren’t reading Black Butler.

I have no idea what you’re reading.Perhaps your own biases and subconscious stigma with British aesthetic. At that point, watch the fucking British Royalty Gossip Magazine. You’d find more substance there.

Just don’t be like the person in the video, please? Don’t play dumb. Don’t ignore the fact that Yana is a Shotacon, don’t ignore the fact Sebastian is a hero, don’t ignore the fact that the entirety of the story is based on Sebastian and Ciel’s dynamic.

Because if you do, you are ashamed. You are ashamed of what this story is about. You don’t wanna engage with the text, you want to engage with yourself. You wanna project into Ciel whatever traumas and experiences you have, for the sake a vanity project, where you come out as the morally superior.

You don’t wanna talk about Black Butler, you wanna talk about how good YOU are. How you “don’t sin” by watching it “without all the gross unholy stuff”.

Which is the exact opposite of what BB is about.

So, if you don’t want to, save us all the humiliation fetish and leave.

#Kuroshitsuji #black butler #sebaciel #essay #loli speaks

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therantingsage · 1 year ago

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Because I promised this, and I really wanted to do it anyway, here's a really really long-winded rambling dissertation on:

Why N and Uzi secretly dating since before episode 5 is genuinely super plausible and also stupidly hilarious /pos

Under the cut cuz it got obscenely long oops-

Idk where to start, so I'll just cover my bases: why people think they've been in a relationship already in the first place.

We all saw this scene:

And legit it can only be implying one of two things. Either A: this is his confession of feelings for her. Or B: this is him admitting that they've been dating for a while at this point. With the hearts it's pretty clear that this statement is meant to be romantically interpreted, and Nori's aghast reaction confirms that that's how it's being interpreted.

Obviously no matter the interpretation, N only writes that because he can't think of anything else to snap Uzi out of it and thereby stop this confrontation from ending poorly. And it works obviously so good on him for the quick thinking.

Two things that make me lean towards the 'we're dating' interpretation over 'confession' interpretation, though: firstly, he's not writing this to tell Uzi something, he specifically calls out to Nori before writing it. "Hey btw I'm dating your daughter" makes more sense than "Hey btw I like your daughter romantically" because if it was the latter, Nori has far less reason to be mad at Uzi about it rather than N. It's not like Uzi can control how N feels. But if they're dating, that means Uzi is partially to blame for that and Nori can get upset at HER.

Secondly, the awkward wording. Like it's really vague and without the hearts you'd have no reason to assume anything but platonic meaning. But these are words we, and him, have heard before:

...from Uzi, in response to a question about who she is and, by proxy, the nature of their relationship. She says it defensively, follows it up by telling N to shut up. N repeating her wording which, again, is a description of the nature of their relationship....but this time implying something romantic with it, it suggests the idea that it had romantic implications the first time.

I don't think it's far-fetched to say Uzi at least has feelings for N at this point in the story. I don't think anyone's arguing that that's not true. But the idea that 'hang out' means the exact same thing both times is what I'm arguing here. They're dating, but this version of N is a stranger to her. A cute stranger, as she says, but a stranger nonetheless who she isn't comfortable admitting to that she's dating him in the future to his face.

Backing up a bit, Uzi's reaction to Nori's reaction:

This is a clear and obvious parallel to the previous episode, when 'Tessa' says "Don't date my robot, please."

In both instances, someone gets on her case about the idea of them dating, and in both cases she doesn't deny it but instead defends both his and her own agency in the matter. No one is allowed to tell them what to do and Uzi refuses to let anyone try.

When Nori says it, though, she does seem to try and deny it for a moment. "I'm not-" She cuts herself off so we can't say for certain what she was going to say (if anything. it's entirely possible she started that sentence with no plan how to finish it, I do that a lot personally). But that's also because, like, she's Uzi. If this was meant to be a secret relationship, it would probably be her who made that decision. And like with butler N, she has no reason to disclose that kind of information to a stranger. She'd probably try and deny it whether its true or not.

As for when it would've started, after camp is the only big timeskip where we don't have much clue went on during. Cabin Fever is a big episode for them, and the three episodes that come after it are all back-to-back-to-back. The only time it makes sense to have started is sometime between eps 4 and 5.

And guys. Guys.

This, more than anything to me, paired with the idea that they've been dating for a while by the time the most recent couple episodes happen.....doesn't this seem so, so romantic? You could easily call this a love confession! So easily! It sounds like one much more than 'we just kinda are hanging out a lot idk' at least.

Like, rephrase that even a little: "Being with you makes scary things fun. Being with you makes me feel brave. It makes me feel safe. So I want to keep being with you."

And Uzi agrees with that sentiment. He promises to stick with her. And she laughs and smiles with him as he makes the scary thing she's been dealing with into something fun, something they can laugh about. The together line gets repeated in the most recent episode, directly calling back to this scene as well.

Like, just...AGH. In Cabin Fever he says it once as they're falling and a second time once they're grounded. The second time its a question, and one she eagerly answers with physical affection, which is super rare for her. In Mass Destruction its a statement, because he already knows her answer. Its a repeated promise. A vow.

Backing up again. Let's assess some interactions under this context. Assuming they're dating in secret. Because it paints so many things in a different light and basically nothing contradicts it which is fricken wild. This:

Isn't a sheepish Uzi trying to hold her crush's hand in a moment of fear. This is an Uzi who wants to keep their relationship a secret but is so in need of comfort right now she's willing to risk exposing them to get it.

This:

Her being so relieved because she almost watched him die but he's alive he's ok and she doesn't care who sees it because she needs to hug her boyfriend rIGHT NOW GUYS I DON'T CARE I'M HUGGING MY BOYFRIEND-

This whole scene. Uzi interacts with him so gently here. She's not gentle with anybody else at all. She sees him stressed and uses his own "you good?" on him and it's just so dang tender when you think about it. Because no one else can hear them talking to each other. It's just these two sending face texts and everyone else's focus is on the Sentinal so they can afford to be as couple-y in this conversation as they want.

And after:

Blushing because they like each other so so dang much.......sweating bullets because the other two can see them do this. Suddenly without either of them really thinking about it they're being romantic around other people and wow! That's nerve-wracking! Peak young love early-in-the-relationship behavior they ain't slick.

His tone of voice in this scene is gentler I think than we've ever heard from him before (Michael Kovach you are so damn good at your job). His loss-filled fury is cooled in an instant when he realizes how close he came to hurting his girlfriend. It's heartbreakingly gentle before 'Tessa' cuts him off.

And when she cuts Uzi off:

He looks like genuinely pissed at her. "Did you really just interrupt my gf while she was talking?? She's scared and you're disrespecting her tf is wrong with u??"

And like- the fact he was genuinely willing to off Tessa for her. Like he realizes there's a possibility she tried to get his gf killed for no reason and upon her not even trying to deny it he just kills her instantly. Because it's no longer a question of the universe or Uzi. It's a question of Tessa or Uzi, and its a choice his heart has already made before this point.

But here's like. The thing about all this that gets me. This is meant to be a secret relationship, right? Like nobody but them is supposed to know about this. And the fact that we the audience didn't have any reason to assume them to be an established relationship without heavy headcanoning means they did a decent job at that, right?

Guys. Guys.

N is terrible at keeping secrets. Like. Horrendously bad at keeping things on the down-low. Every single time in the series he's supposed to not spill info he like. Fails. It's wild. And because the relationship happens after "Inclusive reflexes!" that means that Uzi damn well knows this and still trusts him to try.

But based on V's reaction to the handholding in Dead End:

I'm honestly willing to bet she knew. She doesn't sound surprised, just annoyed that she has to see it. Which means N probably like, heard her badmouthing Uzi or something and got like way too defensive about it and she clocked him instantly. Because he's bad at keeping secrets. And she doesn't bother mentioning it during any of these episodes out loud because she doesn't care what these idiots do in their free time.

Can you imagine how many hundred close calls they must've had? How many times Uzi must've had to aggressively shush him or cover his mouth because he was going to say something slightly too sappy in public? The only reason we don't get to see the time period between eps 4 and 5 is because it would've been painfully obvious that these two dating is the worst kept secret in the entire bunker. I'm going insane.

Uzi fell in love with a proud himbo and they both know it. It's genuinely a miracle they didn't clue the audience in sooner.

#Murder Drones #Murder Drones Spoilers #md N #md Uzi #Uzi Doorman #Nuzi #Biscuitbites #Listen!! I'm feral and I site my sources!!!#This is a hill I'm willing to die on. And then I will rise to keep talking #I miss doing posts like this. I have so so much to say always #Me when I hyperfixate to the point of essays. Oops. Glad I can read

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delilahsturniolo · 2 months ago

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⟡ ݁₊ welcome to the end of the world! (please leave your sanity at the door.)

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 . . . four friends: nick, matt, chris, and you—find themselves stuck together at the end of the world, trying to survive a zombie apocalypse with nothing but their wits, a questionable supply of snacks, and zero emotional maturity. you’re just trying to stay alive without losing your mind—or falling for someone on the team.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 . . . angst, small argument

CHAPTER EIGHT: DENIAL, DENIAL, DENIAL

read more parts here!

the day starts quiet. too quiet.

the kind of quiet that settles into your chest like a warning you don’t know how to interpret. like a static buzz before the storm. like something’s about to snap. and you don’t know if it’ll be outside or inside the group.

you’ve been walking for hours.

no sign of people. no safe place to stop. just heat, cracked roads, the occasional burned-out car, and the unspoken weight dragging between you and matt. because last night happened. and neither of you has said a word about it.

not the kiss, not the way his hands lingered on your hips, not the way your heart damn near beat out of your chest when he whispered your name like it meant something. you want to talk to him. you need to talk to him. but he won’t look at you.

he’s been at the front of the group all morning, walking ahead with nick, eyes forward, mouth set. and no matter how many times you catch yourself glancing his way, he doesn’t glance back. chris, oblivious to the tension, is humming to lieutenant whiskers who’s perched on his shoulder like the world’s angriest scarf. “do you think he liked the tuna? he hasn’t hissed in twenty minutes. that’s emotional growth.”

nick groans. “it’s the apocalypse and we’re doing character development arcs for a cat.”

“he’s more emotionally intelligent than most of us,” chris says, eyes pointedly flicking toward matt. you don’t laugh. you don’t say anything.

you try to catch up to him. match his pace. “matt.”

he doesn’t stop.

just mutters, “we should keep moving.”

“can we talk?”

he hesitates for the briefest second. then keeps walking. “we shouldn’t be distracted right now.” you flinch like he hit you. not physically, but the words sting. worse than they should. “distracted?” you repeat, stunned. “is that what you think this is?” he finally stops. turns. his face is unreadable, tired and guarded. but his eyes… they look like they’ve seen war.

“we kissed once,” he says, quiet but sharp. “during a crisis. it doesn’t have to mean anything.” your heart drops out of your chest. you feel the blood drain from your face. everything inside you freezes.

“…wow,” you whisper.

nick and chris have gone quiet. nick’s watching from the side like he’s bracing for fallout. chris looks like he wants to throw the cat at someone just to break the tension. “you didn’t mean it?” you ask, barely breathing.

matt runs a hand through his hair. frustrated. anxious. but not apologizing. “i meant it,” he says finally. “which is exactly the problem.”

your brows furrow. “what does that mean?”

“it means,” he snaps, louder now, “that if i let myself care about you more than i already do, i won’t be able to focus. and if i’m not focused, you die.” the silence after that is deafening. he looks at you, finally. and he looks wrecked.

“i care about you too much already,” he says, softer now. “and it’s not safe. not for either of us.” you open your mouth. close it. because what do you even say to that? thank you? i hate you? love you? want you?

your chest aches. nick clears his throat. “uh, as much as i love romantic tragedy, we’ve got a problem.” you turn. a building up ahead is smoking. just enough to be noticed. just enough to mean someone’s there. chris steps forward. “what if it’s people? like, good people?”

“and what if it’s another psycho with a flamethrower and a bunker full of canned beans?” nick replies. you’re still staring at the smoke. trying not to feel like the cloud rising from that building is a metaphor for you. “we check it out,” matt says. voice clipped. back in survival mode. “carefully.”

he doesn’t look at you again.

and this time…

you don’t look at him either. not because you don’t want to. but because if you do, you’re not sure whether you’ll scream at him or kiss him again.

and either one might break you.

💌: hiii i’m back from my hiatus

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ckret2 · 10 months ago

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idk if you've ever answered this before (probably, the answer is always probably) but is Bill, like... capable of empathy? Of sympathy? Of love (any kind) or compassion? I guess what I'm asking is how does he relate to other people? Are they all just tools and idle amusements, or does he develop any actual genuine (positive??) attachment to them?

Everything I know about him comes from 8+ year old memories of a cartoon I haven't rewatched since, and discourse I see through your blog, so I'm not sure what the canon consensus is but your word is god enough to me on at least your specific interpretation of Bill.

(I guess it would be moot to ask why he's so fucked up. Feel free to ignore any and all of this ask, it's 12 AM and I'm trawling the web before bed)

for my specific interpretation of Bill? Have this post about empathy and a couple of posts about romantic love. (Okay��three about romance.)

But now let's forget about my interpretation and talk canon.

Empathy! You can roughly split empathy into two categories: "I can logically identify and understand what you're feeling" empathy, and "when you're sad i feel sad and when you're happy I feel happy" empathy.

We absolutely know that Bill has "I understand what you're feeling" empathy, because he uses it again and again to manipulate his victims. He has VERY good emotional intelligence. He understands his victims' insecurities, their desires, how to make them feel happy, angry, ashamed, trustful, mistrustful; he knows when and how to manipulate them based on their mood to maximum effect; etc. We see it in how he manipulates Dipper & Mabel in the show; we see it in how he turns Ford against Fiddleford in Journal 3; we see it in TBOB and on thisisnotawebsitedotcom in the way he talks about how and why he manipulated Ford.

We have no evidence he experiences "I feel what you feel" empathy. That doesn't necessarily mean he DOESN'T, but there's no evidence for it. Never see him get excited just because someone else is excited, never see him cringe sympathetically when someone else is hurt. You could say "maybe on top of being a manipulation tactic, when Bill relates to Ford's estrangement from his family by talking about his destroyed universe, he's also feeling empathy for his situation," but you could also just as easily say "nah it's just manipulation."

Common sense would say well, if he feels other people's pain, it would be harder for him to manipulate, betray, and hurt people so blithely. But we're not talking about common sense, we're talking about canon evidence! It's possible for empathetic people to hurt other people; they can just... learn not to care about that person's feelings. Which is particularly easy to do if the target is someone the person sees as "less important" or dehumanizes them. Bill sees everyone as less important than him. We can't rule either way on whether or not he's got a capacity for emotional empathy we just never see. All we can say for sure is he doesn't appear to turn it on for anyone we see.

Though we see him come close. Although he doesn't feel with any of the Pines, we can see him relate to Ford (during Weirdmageddon, throughout TBOB), to Stan (on TINAWDC), and to Mabel (in TBOB and the Dipper & Mabel's Guide book) via projecting his struggles and beliefs on to them. But in a way this is sort of, reverse empathy?; it doesn't let him feel how they feel, but it makes him assume they feel the way he does.

Sympathy! The definitions of empathy vs sympathy vs compassion are contested so I'm gonna present the definitions I'm using for this post: empathy is "i [feel/understand] what you feel" and sympathy is "i care about how you feel." There's a couple of moments in his interactions with Ford in TBOB that are blatantly manipulative (when he shows Ford what's left of his dimension; to a lesser extent, when he "helps" Ford celebrate his birthday) that might also secondarily be fleeting displays of sympathy. It's ambiguous.

Compassion! Compassion is "i'm moved to help because of how you feel." There's a moment in TBOB when he gets so irritated at Puritan misogyny that he teaches a bunch of Puritan wives how to be witches and has a girls' night burning men at the stake with them. He apparently gets no benefits from this himself, aside from funsies. Is he motivated by compassion for the ladies or ONLY by irritation at how boring the men are? Again, ambiguous.

In TBOB when discussing his exploits in the Nightmare Realm, he mentions freeing patients from insane asylums and criminals from prisons. He also repeatedly mentions disliking captivity. He might be motivated by compassion derived from empathy for prisoners. He doesn't present his motives.

Love! He calls the Henchmaniacs his "family," repeatedly brings up their worries about being erased from reality, and says he takes his party hosting duties to them very seriously. We don't know whether he actually cared about them, or merely called them a family in recognition of their consistent loyalty and obedience. He's pretty disrespectful/violent toward them but that isn't incompatible with being emotionally invested in them beyond their utility. We don't have confirmation he cares for them, or confirmation he doesn't.

Hidden in TBOB and absolutely riddled through TINAWDC are references to his parents caring about him and tender quotes. When he's so blind drunk he doesn't know where he is, he tries to call his mom and asks her to make him a sandwich after school. We know he resents how they pathologized a mutation he was born with; beyond that we can't confirm whether or not he loved them; but just beneath the surface, he's unceasingly haunted by how they loved him.

Romantic love! I wrote a post about the evidence for/against romantic attraction in TBOB. He's confirmed to have at least two ex girlfriends; in the book, he mentions missing them both. He mentions having "seduced" galaxies; we don't know whether these seductions were sexual, sexual+romantic, or metaphorical. He denies having in the exes in the same book where he discusses them, and claims that love is the pupa for hate.

You can choose to interpret this multiple ways. To me it reads most strongly as "he's been in love but sucks at maintaining a relationship because he's an asshole, and he's got sour grapes about it"; but you could read it as "he wants love but his relationships fall apart because he can't feel it and he doesn't examine why" or "the relationships were based on something other than romantic love" and not technically be wrong based on the evidence we have. What we know for sure: he's had multiple relationships; he misses them; he tries to deny they happened; he claims love's dumb.

Genuine attachment to his tools! Bill claims torturing Ford was normal Henchmaniac hazing and he wanted him to join the gang. (Dubious evidence of emotional attachment.) He goes on a raging bender when Ford refuses to join him and escapes before Bill can torture him into joining. (Stronger evidence of emotional attachment.) In Weirdmageddon, seconds after Ford tried to murder Bill, he asks Ford to join him and then turns him into a statue he carries around everywhere when Ford refuses—and this is BEFORE he discovers Ford might still have a practical use for him.

On TINAWDC, he has an exchange that boils down to "Ford was just a tool?" "You say that like it's a bad thing!" "So you never cared about him?" "I didn't say that." He goes on to refer to Ford as his pet and henchman. Demeaning—but, people do feel positively toward their pets.

(It may be worth noting he also calls Teeth the Henchmaniacs' pet. Maybe this is a consistent element to how Bill relates to sentient people.)

There's evidence in TBOB that he felt similarly about his first human henchman, the shaman—at minimum, he's very bitter when the shaman turns on him and he says he's gonna find a "new best friend."

Summary: There's evidence that Bill develops facets of positive attachments to the people around him; but we don't have any evidence that any of these attachments ever added up to a positive & healthy relationship. In all the relationships we see in depth, the toxic aspects outweighed the positive ones.

Summary of the summary: Bill has the capacity for healthy relationships but is too big a douchebag to utilize it.

#absoluteminimum #ask #bill cipher #gravity falls #the book of bill #meta

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calypso-apologist · 2 months ago

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Hi ! I really love your writing ! I think it's capture the personality of the characters very well ! If you haven't done it, can you do an Apollo NSWF alphabet please ?

Here an offering, a kitten !

IS A BABY!! CAT!! CATS!! KITTY!! MY ONE WEAKNESS!! (also thank you <33)

Apollo NSFW Alphabet ♡

Template by @/the-coldest-goodbye.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Cuddles. Lots of cuddles. Lots of praises, too. He'll play and sing for you, too, if you'd like that. He's very warm, too, in that pleasant way the sand is warm on a lovely, sunny day on the beach. So, you know, an absolute delight.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His? His fingers. He knows exactly where and how to touch to make you squirm, cry or cling to him as you're shaken by an orgasm. And just seeing and hearing you like this is enough for him.

Yours? Your throat. He loves to see the subtle movement of your vocal chords as you moan, to feel your throat jumping with each little gasp as he covers it with kisses. It's just so, so endearing to him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

You damn well it's not glittery, but you could swear it's glittery. And if the sun shines on it, it looks like very, very pale liquid gold. It's also very warm and creamy.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don't know if it counts but I have nowhere else to put it and it's my post so I make the rules: threesomes!

Apollo is one of the few gods who would be into threesomes. He can love two or more people at the same time, and that comes with being able to make love to you both at the same time, of course!

This letter is sponsored by that one scene in Blood of Zeus season 1.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Yeah. A relatively big amount, too. Both with men and women. Plus, he's a god of music and poetry. He's very good with his fingers and tongue. He knows what he's doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

i had to get a fucking kama stura book for this blog this is bullshit.

The Splitting Bamboo - your leg over his shoulder as he straddles your other thigh and gently rocks his hips into you, one hand supporting your leg, the other one by your side so he can balance himself a little.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not exactly serious, but he's not too goofy either. The best way I can describe it is somewhat... casual, I guess? You can have a heart-to-heart conversation with him while having sex. So if you wanna joke around a little, he's not opposed.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Just long enough to be a little curly. He sometimes trims it into silly shapes. When he does, he usually settles on a heart or a star. Sometimes he even goes for an... artistic interpretation of a sun-like shape.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

This motherfucker and his pretty words. He knows just what to say, what to whisper to you to make you melt. Sure, you two can have a normal conversation, but the moment he decides to just be full-on romantic? You're doomed, love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Like with most of the gods I've written this for so far, he has no need to.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ownership. He likes the idea of owning you completely. Maybe even get you a little collar (or a necklace that he uses as one) to treat you like a cute little puppy or a kitten. He likes to keep you close, cover you in little kisses as he mumbles "mine" over and over again.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He has something that could be compared to a little treehouse near one of his temples. You know giant cypress trees in Louisiana? And how some of them look like they literally have entryways? If you don't, just google it and you'll know what I mean.

Anyway, there is one of those big trees very close to his temples. Maybe he magically blessed it, maybe it's just like that, doesn't matter. What matters is that the tree is magically hollowed out, instead being basically a stairway to a platform near the top of it. It's got comfy pillows and blankets, ripe fruit and delicious wine... And it's always, always warm and sunny there.

Right there, that's where he loves to take you. Under the sun, as your sweet moans create a symphony with the decorative wind chimes.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

If you have long hair, letting it down will do it.

If your clothes slide a little and anything below your collarbone is exposed, that will do it. He needs to kiss it.

Same with your stomach being exposed. He loves kissing your stomach.

And just so we're clear, Apollo loves all tummies. Big, small, all of them are very kissable.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he's willing to do some very light choking, spanking and such... he will never go far with it. His choking is a few light playful squeezes, his spankings are just a few light smacks, just hard enough to make your skin pink. But he never goes any farther, no matter how much you might beg and plead. He's not doing anything that might end up with you actually ending up hurt - or worse, dead - because he got too carried away.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

... We're talking about the god of poetry, is that not obvious? He's a professional when it comes to giving oral. And he loves doing that, especially since it means he gets to hear your sweet sounds. So he obviously prefers giving. Doesn't mind receiving, of course, but giving is more... beneficial, in his eyes.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely slow and sensual, but he mixes it up every once in a while. Especially if you ask him for it. But by default, he likes it slow and sensual. So he can fully enjoy your body.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Neutral about them. If you want a quickie, sure. But he prefers regular sex. He likes to keep you with him for hours.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

As long as there's no risk of accidentally causing you permanent harm, sure thing. He's down to try new things, but he's also very quick to stop them the moment he feels it's going too far.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Like I've said with like all the gods before. He's a god. If you can keep going, he can keep going. And then he can keep going for much, much longer.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I feel like he wouldn't be against trying them out, but in the end, he prefers it without toys. So while you might convince him to try one occasionally, he's still gonna go back to keeping it natural.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Very. He loves teasing you. And seeing you react to his teasing might just be one of his very favorite shows. Your tears and whimpers, your innocent protests, your attempts to tease him back... it's just all so, so precious.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's pretty loud, but due to his domains, his voice sounds like the most beautiful song you've ever heard. So whenever you top (and he's pretty willing to let you, he's very chill about it), you usually end up doing your very best to make him as vocal as possible, just to hear it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Yandere Apollo song because yes.

youtube

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

You know those freckles that only show up when someone spends time in the sun? Not exactly tan, but like... the summer freckles? His dick is covered with those, except they're always there. It's not regular freckles, it's that specific kind of freckles.

Other than that, it's a bit over seven inches.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Apollo's love language is quality time. Sex is included in that. It's not a driving force, but he certainly doesn't like the idea of celibacy all that much, either. He mostly adjusts to you, but if he feels like you're avoiding it, he will bring it up. It's hard to define how often he wants it, but he does want some kind of consistency with it.

That being said, when he does want it, he's very, very hard to resist.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't. He's too busy fawning over you. He's just going to sit there with you in his embrace like you're a cat on his lap. He's not moving until you're up.

#ask #little miss of the sky #epic musical #epic the musical #epic #epic the musical x reader #epic musical x reader #epic x reader #epic apollo #epic apollo x reader #epic the musical apollo x reader #epic the musical apollo #epic musical apollo x reader #epic musical apollo

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sonamytrash · 1 year ago

Text

Midnight, part two

Underground Virgin!Levi x Virgin!Femreader

MDNI

Warnings: y/n used, Childhood friends to lovers, fluff, smut, puberty mentioned, masturbation mentioned, fingering, sex, mentions of abuse, mentions of rape, mentions of prostitution, creampie, orgasm, characters ages aren't mentioned, but it's suggested they're both in their late teens, of age when writing but could be interpreted as underage? Virgin levi, virgin reader. Not proofread.

Note: Wow, thanks for the love, guys! Here's part two, hope you enjoy.

‐--------------------

He's experienced a lot in his short life. But interactions of the romantic kind aren't something he's familiar with. Despite his his feelings for you and innocent exchanges of affection here and there, he really isn't sure where to start. Levi breathes in deeply and exhales, trying to collect his thoughts.You wanted to be intimate with him. You wanted him to be your first. He could only thank the heavens for the opportunity to show you how much you mean to him, to show you the very least of what you deserve. To be loved, cherished, and worshipped.

Levi pulls you close to him on the bed, his arms wrapped around you as he leans closer, and your lips are practically brushing against each other. "I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"

Your hand still resting against his cheek, you scan his face for any signs of reluctantly. Both of you lean into one another, and finally your lips meet for the first time.

Levi can feel your warm hand on his chest, making his body tingle every time it brushes against his skin. His breath grows increasingly heavier, and his heart rate starts to rise as his hand slowly moves down your arm and makes its way to your hips.

You tug his shirt over his head before he does the same to yours and returns to your embrace. The kiss is messy and irrepressible. Both of you are absolutely desperate for the taste of one another after pining so long.

The kiss never wavers as he pushes you down onto the bed and crawls on top of you. He's enjoying the feeling of your body beneath him. Your little moans and mewls encouraged him to go further, as he started slowly moving his hands down your body, his breath growing heavier with every move.

Levi's body aches for you as you touch and trace your fingers over his muscles. He continues to kiss you as your hands explore his body, the body that has kept you safe for all these years, the body you have stolen glances at given any opportunity, the body that you ache for. His grip on your hip gets firmer as he enjoys your every movement, every touch, and every kiss you bestow upon him.

Both of your bodies are in an incredible state of arousal. You attempt to speak up to tell him how you've felt all this time. Even in this intimate moment, you can't quite find the words, even after having just been so bold. You feel a bit embarrassed about your lack of experience, but you're determined to push through, determined to share this moment with him. There's nobody in this world who makes you feel safer.

Levi's eyes shift to yours as he pauses shortly to speak. Seeing that you're struggling.

"You don't have to tell me with words, I know exactly how you feel. I'm nervous, too. I've never done this before either." He tells you shyly, you smile and nod. "I trust you, Levi." He smiles."Just tell me if anything hurts or you want me to stop, okay?."

He caresses the side of your face. Enjoying every moment of intimacy. Your bodies are already communicating past what you can or can't coherently say. He trails his hand over your breast, gently taking your nipple between his fingers as he begins to suck on the other. You moan at the new and different sensations on each of your nipples. "Levi..." You're moan breathlessly.

"You're beautiful," he says, his voice low. "Let me make you feel good." He says as his mouth returns to your erect nipple. You nod, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation building within you. You had wanted this for so long. Fucked yourself silly on your fingers night after night at the thought of him. Never able to fully satisfy your desires.

Levi's fingers reach down to your drenched underwear, he rubs his fingers over the fabric and smirks at the thought of making you this aroused, before he moves the garment to one side, feeling your wet slit, he groans as he moves one of his fingers over your clit, caressing the swollen nub gently, eliciting another moan from your lips. As Levi touches you, you feel a surge of pleasure run through your body. You throw your head back, letting out a louder moan as he continues. He looks into your eyes, "Is this okay? Does it feel good?" He asks, your pleasure being his only priority in this moment. You nod, "Yes" you breathe, "It feels good." You mewl as he toys with your clit applying more pressure, before he slowly inserts a finger into your tight heat, you gasp. They're longer than your own, your pussy sucks his finger in, twitching around his digit at the newfound feeling and depth. He moans in suprise at the wet and warm sensation around his finger as he returns to sucking one of your nipples, hunger and desire burning within him as he slowly moves his finger inside of you, when he adds another finger you bite your lip, adjusting to the feeling of a second digit. He moves them rhythmically as he uses his thumb to rub your clit. He had no idea that a womens body would twitch and move around him like this, he gets excited at the thought of how you're going to feel around his cock, trying to ressist the urge to almost dry hump the air as he focuses on only your pleasure for now. He knows the first time can be painful for women. He doesn't want to hurt you, so he's determined to make the process as enjoyable as possible. It doesn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach, something you had been able to achieve alone but never this quickly or intense. "Levi, I'm-" you moan as you push your hips up into his fingers as he picks up the pace, he removes his mouth from your nipple and comes up to kiss along your jaw and encourage you "Cum for me, y/n." You squeak delightfully as you come around his fingers, your body shaking from the intensity of the orgasm as he guides you through. He keeps going until you grab his wrist, needing a second from the overstimulation. Levi watches in amazement as you cum around his fingers. He can feel every twitch and spasm, a sense of pride washes over him at having brought you such pleasure. But he wants to see so, so much more of that cute little fucked out face you've just made.

Leaning down to kiss you deeply once more, he smiles. "You did great, such a good girl." He says reassuringly as he removes your drenched underwear and looks over your body. Living in the underground, it isn't the first time he has seen a woman in the nude. However, gazing over the form of someone you love in such an intimate moment is something that he can't describe, something so much more erotic. Your body is so perfect that it's almost like it could've been sculpted by the gods. As you recover from your orgasm and begin to touch him, he can't resist looking at your flushed face, his equally as red giving a slight moan as he reacts to your touch. You trail your hands down to the waistband of his underwear, "Can I?" You ask him, looking into his eyes seductively, he nods. He lets out a shaky breath as you trace your fingers along the trail of hair from his navel to the waistband of his underwear, where it becomes thicker. Anticipation builds within him at the thought of being with you in this way. With need, he guides your hand to his cock, eager to feel your touch there. His breathing is already ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as he anticipates what is to come. He hisses feeling your hand against him through the fabric, before you free his cock from the confinement of his underwear. Your eyes widen as you run your fingers over his length. You internally contemplated how this thing was supposed fit inside you. Levi must have sensed your concern "It'll be fine." He reassures you, struggling to concentrate at the mercy of your touch. As much as he wanted to feel your hands or even mouth around him, he knew he'd never last if things went in that direction. There would be another time, having come this far, of that he was certain.

He enjoys the sensation of you stroking him for a few moments, though, before he tries to read your expression, "Do you want to continue?" He asks nervously. You smile, meeting his gaze and nodding. "Yes." You say seductively. He pulls you in for another kiss as he positions himself at your entrance, slowly rubbing his cock against your dripping wet slit, covering himself in your essence. You both moan into the kiss, the whole situation is so erotic that your mind can only comprehend the sensation of his movements against you, all you want is him to take you. He takes one of your hands and squeezes it tightly as he begins to enter you, the tip of his cock glistening with precum as he moves.

Levi thrusts slowly into you, inch by inch, groaning with pleasure as he feels your virgin pussy clamping down around him. You whimper under him, your nails digging into his shoulders with your free hand as you try to adjust to the alien but welcome feeling of having him inside you. It hurts but it isn't unbearable. Your other hand entwined with his as you both experience this moment together.

Levi tries to be gentle, knowing that it's your first time, but he can't help the intensity of his desire and fights the urge to start thrusting inside you, your tightness and warmth enveloping him completely. Surely, he was in heaven. Nothing on this earth had ever been kind or good to him until there was you. The fact that this was unravelling now between the both of you was unreal.

You look into his eyes, your own completely glazed over with lust. "It's okay, you can move. I'm alright." You say breathlessly.

He moves slowly at first, using your expressions as his guide. His thrusts grow deeper and more forceful with each moment. He captures your lips again passionately, needing to be as close to you as physically possible.

You moan loudly, feeling a sense of pleasure spreading through you as Levi takes you to new heights of ecstasy. You arch your back under him, wrapping your legs around his waist as you try to take him even deeper.

Levi responds, thrusting harder and harder into you with each passing moment. You feel like you're going to explode with pleasure, and you can't help but cry out his name repeatedly as he fills you up with his cock.

The sound of your skin slapping together fills the room as he moves inside you, the intensity between you both, only growing with each passing moment. Your pleasure builds with each of his thrusts, and soon you're both rambling sweet nothings to one another, your bodies writhing together blissfully.

He's delirious with the wet embrace of your pussy sucking him in, the feeling of your walls constricting around his cock almost too much. He knows that you're close to cumming again, he can feel your pussy quivering around him. He moans loudly with you, your tight hole squeezing him as you scream his name. His lips crash down on your own. With one final thrust, he feels his cock pulsing inside of you as he reaches his own orgasm, he lets out a loud groan into the kiss, spilling his seed inside you. Neither of you in the right frame of mind to consider any of the consequences right now. You feel a sense of warmth spreading through you as he finishes. Both of you have a tight grip on one another as you ride out your high. He collapses on top of you, panting heavily as he tries to catch his breath. The room is filled with nothing but the sounds of heavy breathing, the smell of sex and sweat permeates the air.

"I love you, y/n." He says breathlessly in your ear. You trail your fingers over the back of his head, feeling the contrast of longer hairs and his undercut. "I love you too, Levi."

@mei-mei01

#levi smut #levi attack on titan #captain levi x reader #levi aot #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x y/n smut #friends to lovers #aot smut #fanfiction smut #aot x reader #reader insert #virgin reader #shameless smut

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contrautism · 2 months ago

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(this is long and not super structured but i need to out this into the air for when i actually write a proper essay or sumn lmao.)

i feel like a big reason why a lot of people fail to properly digest the plot and themes of whc1/2 is that they can’t turn off ship brain. and no i’m not one of those “it’s a bromanceee😩” people because a. it’s not and b. they don’t understand the show either.

weak hero is a show that requires you to examine every single dynamic with an equally watchful eye. what is sieun to suho? suho to beomseok? beomseok to youngyi? you even need to dive into all their different dynamics with the bullies (ex. what is it that makes sieun a target vs. beomseok, and how does that translate to the differences in how they’re harassed?) you have to understand how every single character and their actions impacts everyone else. if you watch weak hero as the sieun x suho show (which is your prerogative i promise you i’m not going to war over it) and not a show that highlights destructive cycles of violence, the way that ideals of “masculinity” reward and encourage violence, the ways in which children are used, abused, and discarded within society, and so on and so on and so on, then you miss out on a lot of what truly builds weak hero into what it is.

and like? idk walk w me for a second.

suho was sieun’s first friend, the first person that has his back, the first person who actually cared about him. he loves that boy in a way that he doesn’t properly understand because he has never needed to process emotions in such a way.

suho and sieun were the same for beomseok, but he didn’t have the same ability to accept that he possibly had something good. they were beomseok’s first friends, first people that gave a fuck about him, the first people in his life that didn’t beat his ass every day and night and make him feel unworthy of breathing. and he zeroed in on suho as suho was who he wanted/wanted to like him/wanted to be (complex ass set of feelings, right).

i’d honestly argue that everything sieun felt for/about suho, beomseok felt just as (if not more) intensely and was even more lost when it came to navigating that. which is a fucking nightmare when you remember the communication skills he never got to develop, as that doesn’t just mess up how he interacts with others but also how he interprets other people’s words and actions. and we see how that plays out.

you can’t just water down beomseok’s character to him being jealous and “sociopathic” (also please stop throwing that word around? lmao) and the one that broke apart #real lovers, because it shows that you refuse to engage with who his character actually is and what he represents in regards to the show’s themes and messages.

well actually i mean you can but that don’t make it right. i don’t have it in me at the moment to break down all the ways in which being a victim of horrific abuse for years can break down a child’s psyche in ways that will take twice as long to repair, the inner workings of a 16 year old boy’s mind, the fact that it wasn’t just about an instagram follow, yadda yadda, so to wrap this up:

1. shipping is fun i love it woo but i feel that a lot of the show that deserves to be dug into more just… isn’t? at least not by certain areas of the fandom and that’s not the end of the world but it does just upset me (seeing as how in those same circles i often see very odd discussion of beomseok as an abuse victim).

2. i yearn for more detailed analyses of sieun & suho vs suho & beomseok vs beomseok & sieun’s relationships with each other in ways that truly respect all of their characters and the deep emotions they feel for each other (platonic, romantic, resentment, jealousy, allat). GO DEEPER WITH THE “FIRST LOVE” COMMENT FROM THE DIRECTOR! REACH THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!

alright that’s all i got i hope you can see where my head is at😭

#emjeirambles #whc1 #whc2 #weak hero class 1 #weak hero class two #yeon sieun #oh beomseok #ahn suho #i’m not considering the webtoon rn btw #only the show #and i fw suhoxsieun i been gang for years #but everything is that deep to me sorry #beomseok to me is like that one post #drawn towards haterism but forced to see where you comin from #because if nobody else get him EYE DO!

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ceoandslutler · 4 months ago

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in order to truly understand kuro, you need to understand that sebastian and ciel have both affected each other in more ways than one, positively AND negatively. you don't need to ship them to see it but it does help. saying ciel is just food OR sebs is just dad/mom are both valid headcanons but they don't reflect the reality of the story.

ciel becomes corrupted and self-righteous due to the endless power he can wield with sebastian under his control (negative) but sebastian is a positive force who prompts him to be more social, kind and understanding towards others. sebastian through the manga tries to teach ciel lessons about life as if he is preparing the boy for his absence which he is not obligated to do, it obviously has a romantic connotation but some interpret it to be 'parental'. there is also no reason for him to do this as he wishes to consume ciel's soul so he doesn't have any reason to teach him things about how to live his life; it is also not the typical devilish corruption we expect from him.

when it comes to sebastian himself, he is weaker now than he was at the start (negative), he's hungry, stressed, overthinks his battles (lost his noukin-ness and has to ask ciel for advice more) and hesitates more but he is also more empathetic (suffered loss due to agni's death) which is a positive because he is able to enjoy his life more (the main reason the "butler game" is so fascinating to him). sebastian already had certain 'aesthetics' and 'convictions' which is pointed out to be odd but he has gone beyond basic humanity and i believe it is ciel's influence affecting him. there's a noticeable theme of class, nobility and hierarchy in manga kuro, which im writing about and sebastian oddly subscribes to a sense of moralisation particularly towards people who take advantage of their power OR only care about the upper class.

i don't mean to say either of them are good people but i am a firm believer that the manga is trying to imply that sebaciel (demon & demon's contractor) are better than corrupt human beings.

#kuroshitsuji #sebaciel #symuses #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #black butler #syanalyses #mini analysis

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scielson · 4 months ago

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Hey hope you're doing well, I love your posts on KCD and wanted to ask your thoughts on something. During the Hansry romance scene, Henry breaks away from the first kiss with a pretty sour look. He's obviously overwhelmed and does come to his senses eventually, however I was curious what exactly you think is going on in his head in those moments, especially to conjure up an expression like that.

oh… wow, omg. thank you for asking me, damn, i’m honored that someone actually cares about me and my opinions. okay, so this is just my interpretation, but people can absolutely see it differently:

he’s in shock because he didn’t expect that to happen, like, ever. sure, you can flirt with hans as henry, but you never actually flirt with him in those moments. you just reassure hans that henry cares about him and that he means a lot to henry. so, it’s clear they both care very deeply about each other, but they never really made romantic moves toward each other.

henry puts his hand in hans’ hand. that’s a deeply personal gesture—their skin touching. henry tries to comfort hans because he’s worried about him, even saying he’ll get help and everything’s going to be alright. then, henry tries to leave, but hans does something impulsive. he grabs henry and kisses him. it’s intense. henry obviously likes it because he reciprocates the kiss, but then he suddenly pulls away, looking either angry or confused, and wants to leave the room without even looking back at hans. it’s clear he’s overwhelmed.

in the game, you can have a sexual encounter with another man, and as henry, you can even propose it. so, why does henry react that way? because it’s hans. hans capon, his lord, the person he genuinely cares about. their relationship was rocky at the start—they disliked each other, but they grew closer and closer. they’re loyal to each other and would die and kill for one another. so, i think it’s because it’s hans kissing him. it shouldn’t be him—he’s his lord, his best friend… a man. and yet, he turns around and comes back to him because it is hans. i think there’s some catholic guilt in there too—being two men, it shouldn’t happen, shouldn’t feel so good, but it does. and also, it’s hans! hans means so much to him, maybe henry didn’t even fully realize the romantic and sexual feelings he had for him. it’s that moment when it finally clicks for henry.

#anonymous #kcd2 #hans capon #henry of skalitz #hansry

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fandomfixationstation · 7 months ago

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Asexual Reader x TWST Characters: Part Two! Rewritten

This is a rewrite of earlier posts I once wrote on a different blog. I am revisiting this and trying to improve on what I wrote and once again doing this for myself and other asexuals who lack the content and kindness others get. Writing this for every fanfic I've read where the character breaks up with the reader for being asexual and doing better.

That said, Everything will be entirely my headcanons and you aren’t required to agree with my interpretations of the characters and story.

(Part two)

Malleus Draconia

Malleus Has only considered two things. The fact he has loved his significant other more than most things he can think of, and that being royalty means a lot of complicated matters. But of course he is more than happy to reassure his significant other that he treasures more than anything in all of the realms and any dilemmas or choices to be made or had will be made together.

Malleus will do everything in his power to be supportive and an ally. It might start with getting a Flag, but it most certainly doesn’t stop there by any means of the matter. As I had said the first time I wrote the post, please imagine he gives you a locket with a picture of the two of you. Give or take some cheesy engraving, a decoration of everlasting love of the purest form or something akin to it.

As I'm sure I've already said before, and likely to say again in the future. Malleus will always make sure that you're okay with whatever physical touch he gives you. He'll be up most respectful of any boundaries that may change at any point.

Otherwise, there isn’t a whole thing to say. Due to being a prince his relationships were always going to be complicated and something he was going to figure out the hard way. So regardless he’ll fight to make sure the two of you will be happy in your relationship, whatever that may specifically look like for the two of you.

Jade Leech

Going to double down on Jade being one of the most understanding people on this, he doesn’t need an explanation on what it means. The only questions he really has is what does that mean for you and what your comfort levels are with specific actions. Rather business casual, non stressful chat. Very clear communication will be had.

Unapologetically saying Jade Leech is also Asexual. So this honestly works out for himself. Your boundaries are respected, so are his. While he might not always be the most romantic, he does have his moments! They are thoughtful when he is and it will always be very endearing and something meaningful to the both of you.

While his gifts are usually very thoughtful and tailored specifically to your liking: it is non negotiable that you will get one mushroom terrarium as a token of goodwill, affection, and to generally remind you of him when he isn’t able to be around. It came free after listening to him info dump for about an hour about mushrooms.

Also, for the first time disagreeing with myself. Jade doesn’t usually cuddle, but like that mostly boils down to getting the right setting to get him to settle down to cuddle. Turn off his brain and eel cuddles. You will be trapped for at least an hour, longer if he can get away with it.

Riddle Rosehearts

I will not be the first nor the last person to mention just how sheltered Riddle grew up. That said, despite at first having no good idea what you're talking about he is the most willing to ask questions to make sure he understands. He certainly is going to have to look into queer history in general to make sure he doesn’t make a fool out of himself later either. So he’ll definitely be supportive of you, any other queer people he ends up interacting with. You’ll just have to bear with him through his initial confusion.

Riddle probably has a mental list of what is allowed and what isn't allowed. If he can remember all the queen's rules because they're important to him, he can certainly remember things that you like and don’t like because you are important to him. This also means he gets good at memorizing what teas you like, and what kind of gifts you enjoy the most, or what ways you prefer to spend time together.

Unbirthdays, Birthdays, other events in which it is acceptable to give gifts or generally spoil a person: riddle will always make sure that there is something that you’ll enjoy. A single gift that will make you feel thought off, some sort of food dish that is to your preferred tastes. Afterwards is probably always spent with cuddles and a cup of tea to unwind. A break well earned if you will.

I think Riddle is more of a love letter kind of person than giving you poetry, however if he does give you poetry he is very embarrassed by it, and without a doubt its cheesy. But its cute. Everything down to the punctuation is thought over at least twice before he dares to give it to you, wanting only the best for you.

Epel Felmier

“why wouldn’t I still love you? You’re still the same person I fell in love with after all. You're just a butterfly who’s found its wings” Was a banger of a line and i will leave it here to be appreciated. Also considering that I headcanon Epel to be trans, he just gets it. Be might ask for a bit of clarification, but he gets it the fastest. Most understanding.

Will go out of his way to make you feel loved and appreciated! You will get the most random reminders that he cares about you and how much he loves you. Probably little notes and gifts for you, left where you’ll get them.

There are plenty of cute date ideas: picnics, apple picking, horseback riding, I could go on really. But the idea is that he’ll always bring you something, usually a snack of some kind. If he doesn’t he’ll make you a flower crown, or maybe weave flowers into your hair if that is more your thing. Regardless, it is sweet and fun. No expectations of anything else but to be in each other's company.

---

Part One | Part Two

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hauntingofhouses · 2 years ago

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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.

So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.

DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.

Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.

But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."

In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.

When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.

So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.

Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.

And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."

But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.

He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.

*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.

Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.

Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.

Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."

This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.

Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:

"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."

(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)

Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.

Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.

But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.

Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:

"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."

At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")

The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.

That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.

By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.

Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.

But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.

"I want to be great."

This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.

NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.

First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:

Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;

Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.

These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:

Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.

Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.

Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.

Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.

Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.

In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.

Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.

(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)

And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.

Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.

As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.

Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.

With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.

Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!

Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.

Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.

Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.

And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.

Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.

Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.

While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.

Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.

Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.

By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.

It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.

Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.

The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.

Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.

But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.

Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.

(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)

Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.

In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.

Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.

And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.

This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!

AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)

Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #mizu x akemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi x taigen #blue eye samurai meta #also if you ask me PERSONALLY. based on my own analysis which you can read above. personally i'm placing my bets on option b (mizutaigen)#and this is simply bcs i think mizu deserves nice things and that includes getting dicked down and pampered and worshipped #whoops who said that #also mizu deserves to live a life where she can hand taigen's ass to him on a daily basis. ykwim.#BUT i am def open to a change of opinion regarding the mizuakemi rship as the story progresses #i just dont want the writers to reduce akemi into nothing but a love interest for mizu #the only way i can see a happy mizuakemi endgame scenario is if blue eye samurai becomes purely an angsty romance story #in which case then yes i fully endorse the akemi ending <3 #but that would probs require a whole genre overhaul? bcs currently the show is firstly an action-epic where the romance is just a subplot #but even tho i dont reeeeally want a mizuakemi endgame i still DEF want mizu & akemi to be romantically and/or sexually involved plsss <3 #like they cant have that slow-mo shot between the two of them as their first encounter and NOT DO ANYTHING W IT!!!#also i want mizu to be at LEAST a little sapphic plsplspls #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf #haydar's fandom posts #i wrote this whole thing while delirious and covid positive

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alena-draws · 7 months ago

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Aha! I have now read the last (??? probably?) chapter of Mha. Thoughts to this chapter and the whole ending itself, and obivously spoilers under the cut!

Ok so first, I don't think it's a bad chapter per se? There are some pretty cool pages in there, and I love seeing the grown up characters! Whatevery happened to Monoma and Denki, they are looking GOOD. I love the little scene between Tsuyu and Ochako, just because we get to see that they are besties, hanging out and telling each other about their lives!

Also Kacchan got a racing car (or something fancy at least)? I didn't really expect him to go for such appearance-things, but maybe just because I'm not a fan of cars myself. And hey, despite the threat Kiri gets to eat in his car, look how far he has come *sniff*

Now coming to the obvious, the Ochako/Deku part. I love Ochako as a character, and I think Ochako/Deku is still really cute. It's a sweet pairing, it has just never been my main interest because I always found the dynamic between Izuku and Katsuku so much more compelling. ^^ I would have preferred not to conform any ships though- I thought the last chapter was ok as an ending, with the way you can now make up your own ideas about how and where everyone will end up. As it seems, Hori did have other plans for Izuku and wanted to close that ambiguous, open Izuku/Ochako part. It's his character, and he can do that.

But there are some things that do leave me unsatisfied, from the ending in general and this chapter.

First- what do you mean Izuku won't join Katsuki's hero agency??? Like----what? And not just from a shipping perspective, but from his whole character arc? I'm not sure if I read too much into it, but over the course of the whole manga, Izuku's main rival has been his friend, and they have been shown again and again as acting as this hero duo - winning to save and saving to win. That was a whole theme!! Where has that gone? Which leads me to my second and biggest unsatifaction with the ending: Where is that important talk between Katsuku and Izuku? Look, I don't need any romantic special talk. What I want though is some kind of closure of their whole dynamic. It was a big fucking plot point that Iuku would go beserk if something happened to Katsuki, a way he didn't react to for anything else. And that happpened not only once or twice but at least three times- the kidnap, the stabbing 1, and the death scene. For heaven's sake, Izuku saw his best friend laying on the ground. That stuff does something to you!! And the only thing we get is a (sweet, but still) hospital scene. And, during all these interactions (at least later, not the fight on ground beta): the hospital at the end and the apology of Katsuki, Izuku only ever reacts but doesn't really say much aside from that? He doesn't start and look for any conversation, and he doesn't really tell us what he feels in these moments. I as the reader would at least expect some kind of talk between them how that last battle made them feel. But no- so now, it leaves me with the feeling that Izuku is either A) not actually that close to Katsuki which however contradicts everything we've seen until now, or B) emotionally really really repressed and oh my god get that boy some therapy and help him figure out his stuff. Or, C) they did that talk behind the scenes which would really suck. Izuku is still the main character. You want the reader to identify with him and confront complex emotions that result from all those hardships together with him- how are we supposed to do that if HE NEVER FUCKING TALKS ABOUT HIS FEELS. I mean, this is kinda what Kacchan gets at in the car. Another interesting scene!

Is this a confession or a push for Izuku to notice potential feelings from Kacchan? Well, we don't know. That's left open and I guess we're really free to interpret. It would be a Kacchan thing to say I guess, and we also have that offer to become hero partners (which you didn't accept Izuku because you have brain damage). Also possible is that the intention of this is that we get that Izuku/Ochako scene. They might be fucking with us and it could be both, because you still can't have someone openly declaring any gay feelings in a shounen manga. I don't want to speculate too much, it's of no use anyway *shrugs shoulders.

So yeah...what I'm miffed about is not really the confirmation about a the Izuku/Ochako pairing. What really bugs me is that this special relationship that exists between Izuku and Katsuki, where they both kind of motivate each other to be the best they can be, in such an intense way they we don't see them have with any other character- that THIS never gets addressed and that we're left hanging in the air, not really knowing what the relationship between these two is now- THAT pisses me off. (again: if you best friend died and came back, you would maybe want to address that in some way?) It feels like the writer left one big theme of the series infinished, and now with this chapter, it feels kinda dismissed to the side. I love Izuku but that passiveness and the lack of insight to his feelings during those last volumes (for the reader and by himself too) does make him feel...a bit hollow at the end to me. Last short topic: I'm also just a tiny bit disappointed that the only conclusion of the quirk theme was that they now start early to teach kids and help communication. Good thing of course, but with the way we heard "Quirks are getting stronger by each generation" and the quirk evolution, I thought there was something bigger coming, so that's been a bit of a let down. Nothing big, just an "oh, that's all?" moment)

But yeah...I think that kinda sums up how I feel about this now. Anyway, no hate for the IzuOcha part, they're pretty cute together!

#sorry I kinda started swearing halfway into this #this is not all about the last chapter #bnha #mha #mha 431 #bnha 431 #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers

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