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#and that just. it destroys me and eats away at me bc being different only works when you fit in
goldeunoias · 4 months
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Tw:internalized racism? I guess?
#sorry I’m not answering asks right now Daisy is just. laying in bed feeling the sad sjsjsjsjsjsj#having self respect is easy. it’s having self love that’s the hard part.#my friends are gorgeous and pretty and so smart and amazing but it’s.#I can’t talk to them about how frustrating it is to be I guess the non-ideal poc?#they’re either white with straight noses and colored eyes or Asian and are able to hang out with and relate to other Asians#for me I don’t. have that Sjsjsjs I’m#a Lightskin or whatever but I don’t fit any of the black niches nor am I accepted by them bc I am nawt black enough for their ideals etc#so it just. leaves me feeling isolated#I went to a predominantly white school and university and it’s hard explaining to a group of white people the type of agony of not ever#really being the ideal race if that makes sense?#like if I like a guy I have to worry about oh well does he find black girls attractive would he be willing to date outside his race#bc for the record black guys do not. treat me nicely and berate me for not idk being their Rihanna baddie so I just have been so turned off#from them I don’t think I could ever date a black guy tbh#it gets even more nerve wracking when you’re a 21 year old virgin and your mom is just shoving black guys down your throat to date sjsjsjsj#but even if they say oh you’re pretty you’re gorgeous Daisy etc I just. can’t believe them bc they will always be the first choice. I won’t#and that just. it destroys me and eats away at me bc being different only works when you fit in#*sigh* I have no black people to talk about this to bc my sister is thicker skinned than I am I guess and my mom would just say just date#a black guy or get black friends when ✨they don’t even desire me✨#so I rant to my little tumblr blog and hope these feelings pass even tho I’ve been feeling this for about two months now#I cried during my graduation bc I couldn’t feel proud of myself and felt so demoralized. I graduated with a degree in biomedical sciences#and never had I felt more worthless#but sigh sorry lovies for posting this I just. aksksk I’m crying now argh but yah#Daisy is sad but hopefully I will answer asks tomorrow I see them#all and yall are so sweet 💕
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blues824 · 11 months
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Talking about the uppermoons how would they react to the female Solomon reader.
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🧙‍♀️Learning that a human has cured ubuyashiki and later on muzan learning that it was not just a regular human but a human that has reatched his goal in life to become immortal and learning that she was born around 1000 bc and is one of the strongest sorcerers in the world.
✨How pissd of whoud they bet that a regular human became immortal on accident because of her shitty food when they though she did it on purpose but later on find out it she became immortal on accident.
🧙‍♀️Them later on finding out that she used to be married to yoriichi and that her even had the pact of Solomon (and kokushibo not knowing about it and being angry that his younger brother outdid him by being married with the most powerful soreror )
✨And her helping the demon slayers ever since and now has resurfaced and is helping the hashira and ubuyashiki again .
🧙‍♀️Them learning that the used to be royalty with a 1000 lovers and wives learning that they library of Solomon holds books that can destroy the world that only she can enter because of her magic.
✨Imagen them kidnapping her and hers summenig her 72 demon and telporting away and later on telling the demon slayers and ubuyashiki about the location of the infinity castle.
🧙‍♀️The uppermoons and muzan learning that she has pacts with demons that are way stronger than them and don't eat human flesh but their soul.
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Does not include Hantengu or any of his other personas. Sorry, but it’s too much. I did include Gyokko and Nakime, tho.
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Muzan Kibutsuji
He knew you existed, and for years he had been searching for you. After all, you were the wife of one of his greatest enemies, as well as an incredibly powerful ally to the Demon Slayer Corps. Not just that, but you were immortal and could roam the earth. You also cured Kagaya Ubuyashiki, so it was no wonder he wanted to see where you got your magic from.
However, when he did manage to somehow kidnap you, you didn’t do anything to demonstrate your power. In fact, you just sat there as you teased about how he was just so angry that he couldn’t conquer the Sun while you had 1000 spouses since he had become a demon. You could even destroy all of demonkind with just a whisper of an incantation, you further pissed him off by saying this.
Eventually, you got a bit tired and you knew that the demon slayers were struggling trying to get you back, so you activated each and every demon pact you had and proceeded to beat his ass and stomp it into the ground. As he laid there, battered and bruised, you stated how sorry you were for the diseases he had in his life and how they led to the decline of his quality of both life and demon-life.
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Kokushibo
He was very angry that his brother managed to outdo him once again, but this time in picking a spouse. You were a legend all over the world, with powers unmatched and immortality, along with being able to roam about in the Sun, his brother won the jackpot. But, as furious as he is, he follows Muzan’s order to keep you alive.
The Rip-Off Michael Jackson himself had put everyone on shifts to look out after you and make sure that you weren’t up to deep shit. But, Kokushibo was aware that you would try to use his brother against him. What he didn’t expect was for you to say ‘I dreamed of meeting you, based on the wonderful things Yoriichi had told me about you. At least his wish was granted’.
This threw him for a loop as he just stared at you in shock. You took the chance to summon the 72 demons you had pacts with and quickly made an escape. As strong as your brother-in-law was, he stood no chance against the demons you associate yourself with. In addition to that, the demon slayers that were trying to get you back got assistance from a different kind of demon.
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Douma
This man was not opposed to being assigned a shift of watching over you. In fact, he was very excited. But once he walked into the room with a smile, you (with a matching smile) told him to drop the cheery exterior and show his real self. Well, you didn’t have to be such a mood killer, now did you? He asked, after ditching the fake ass smile.
To be fair, while you were being held captive, you got to read Douma for who he really was. You were aware that he was idolized as a child for his eyes, and you were also aware that he was leading people to a false paradise that he didn’t even believe in. However, you knew that it was real, and that it was the Celestial Realm. You didn’t think it would be worth arguing with him, as it was his belief.
However, you drew the line when he said that it was sad how you didn’t make your husband immortal as well, and that it must have been because you were selfish. You let your emotions get the better of you, as this was a matter concerning the man you loved. Thus, Douma was trampled by the 72 infinitely stronger demons. Not completely dead, but he did not recover fast enough to stop you from making your escape.
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Akaza
He wanted to challenge you to a fight to see if you were strong, but Muzan had ordered him not to. Unfortunately, for his shift, he was paired up with Kokushibo… the goody-two-shoes who always followed the rules. But, upon entering the room where you were tied to a chair, you said ‘I wish I could have been there. I could have healed your father, and your wife’.
This stopped the Uppermoon in his tracks, as there was no way you could have known about his life when he was a human. To be fair, you were a powerful sorceress, but to have this amount of power over him with just words. His partner didn’t have much mercy taken upon him either, and he knew that this would be a struggle.
At some point in the night, you sensed that the demon slayers were struggling due to a spell you had set in place, and you summoned the 72 demons you had on standby to pummel the two into the ground. You needed to escape, and you were aware that you wouldn’t be able to recite a spell quickly enough. You had to admit that you did feel bad for just layering on more pain, but to be fair, you were the one who was kidnapped first.
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Gyokko
To say that he wasn’t excited to be ‘babysitting’ you would be the understatement of both his and your immortal lives. However, you weren’t exactly happy to be here either. Whenever you would attempt any form of small talk, he would bark at you to keep quiet and tell you that he was only here because the master had ordered him to be.
But, you were able to see into his human life, and you had to admit that he had been pretty fucked up as a kid. The villagers didn’t help either. You, in a moment of quiet, whispered that ‘an interest and fascination with the dead after seeing your parents’ corpses isn’t unusual’. This caught Gyokko’s attention, as he was constantly ostracized for his peculiar and even mortifying interest.
However, this little dance of trying to understand him was getting too tiring, so you summoned your 72 strong-as-hell demons and broke out of the restraints. It was saddening, as you wished to know his entire story and how you could help him reach the Celestial Realm. But, it was no longer your concern. What was your concern was making sure that the demon slayers didn’t die for you.
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Nakime
Upon meeting her, you knew that this would be a rather boring night. Her responses to any questions you asked were kept brief and to-the-point, not wanting to let you receive any more information than what Muzan deemed necessary. Plus, there was danger in you knowing more than you needed to know.
But, you were the most powerful sorceress in the world, and you already knew more information than was given to you. You even said that you thought her music was beautiful, but that her husband was shitty. Her hands stopped one one of the strings on her biwa, surprised at what you had said.
When you felt some of the demon slayers you had a personal connection to shout your name with the spell you had once given to your husband to seal away, you knew that it was time to wrap up the show. You ordered your demons to not kill Nakime, as you knew that it would disrupt the fate planned out for her, but they left her incapacitated enough for you to escape and help the demon slayers.
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Daki 
So, she also wasn’t exactly pleased to be put on a shift. After all, the master was showing clear favoritism towards you. She wasn’t able to lay a single finger upon a single strand of hair on your head. But, she didn’t want to anger Muzan, and thus followed his order. However, she did not indulge in any small talk.
‘You are fortunate to have your brother, but it’s disheartening to know how you have struggled in life and in your current afterlife’. This caused Daki to do a double take, as she knew that there was no way you could have known about her human life. She had to recompose herself so that you wouldn’t be able to see her as vulnerable.
As the night went on, you suddenly got a chill down your spine: a demon slayer had been killed. You summoned all 72 demons and ordered an attack to get you out, and you broke out of the restraints. It was all a whirlwind, but you used your magic to make it an easier escape. You were very angry, to say the least.
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Gyutaro
Another person who is not excited to be watching over you, but he had received a warning from his sister that you would try to manipulate him by telling him that you were saddened by his human life. So, he went in expecting it, but you didn’t say anything. Instead, you just watched him as he took a seat in front of you.
What you did say was, ‘You regret being a bad influence to your sister. Don’t be. You taught her to be strong and resilient, and I saw that during her shift.’ Well, you just hit close to home, didn’t you? Gyutaro didn’t really know what to say in response, so he just stayed quiet. However, he saw that you were very graceful and very tender, but he tried not to let his guard down.
Eventually, you got the all too familiar shiver down your spine, and you knew that it was time to leave and help the demon slayers. You summoned your demons, and you were sad that Gyutaro was fighting his hardest while the 72 demons on your side were barely giving their ten percent.
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homocrafting · 11 months
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turns out whatever instinct in me makes me want to make tma aus is unstoppable and all consuming. so here's qsmp tma au focused on the brazillians:
cellbit- he HAS to be the archivist ok this man is so eye aligned it's not even funny. HOWEVER because qcellbit and fcell are the same person, Events happened to him before he became the Archivist, ala from the archives grian. local paranormal enthusiast finds dead half eaten bodies, gets arrested for it (he SWEARS he didn't eat those people), goes to prison for 10 years, goes nuts (becomes F!Cell), kills himself in the island, wakes up in his room and Felps tells him "bro you disappeared for 10 days are you ok" and he's just like. What.
Worth mentioning that he fucking speedruns the archives. also known as the qsmp. Cucurucho, who is kind of like elias but a bit less (I inagine the Host would be elias, wjoever they are), thinks "wooo new archivist I wonder how long it'll take them to find out abt the horrors" and then cellbit shows up 3 days later running on 2 hours of sleep and 20 mugs of coffee with a consipracy board connecting a bunch of statements and theorizing about entities
ALSO the web is around him like all the time. if you pay attention there's at least 2 spiders near him at all times, usually hidden because he squishes them when he sees them. he's tangled in the web of lies that is the plot I'm making for this au and his ass is NOT beating it
Felps- Stranger type of guy who doesn't even know and takes like. a year to realise something's up with him. don't worry abt it ok I don't know why he's stranger-y to me either. it's the vibes just trust me
Mike- ok so. I am Very unsure for pac and mike, PLUS I've not seen herobrine a lenda, which means I don't know all their backstory, BUT I'm thinking Lonely for Mike, so far? he kind of distances himself from everyone after richas dies with him, so far is the only person I've not seen much gay happenings happen to, tends to disappear to fuckall nowhere apparently, as one does. also the fact that, back in prison, he seemed to have the most difficulty connecting with others.
also, the Desolation hates him personally. he doesn't know why. his house has burnt down thrice. he gets burnt by the littlest things for no reason. he's banned from the kitchen. an avatar of the desolation tried to kill him once. he watched his own son die in front of him. this is based on nothing from qsmp or anything I've seen Mike do I just think it's funny
Pac- I can only think of Vast and Spiral for him tee bee eich. Leaning heavily towards the Vast because, you know. gestures to the giant hide and seek maps, and also O RAIO, even though I have 0 context for that. he just... he explores the world and made giant hole (yeah yeah holes are the buried but consider: it's big.). it's his "I can show you the world" vibes. again dude just trust me
note abt tazercraft: both of them are very, very touched by the Spiral. reason? Chume Labs
Forever- I'm thinking either the Buried (mostly the digging aspect- he's destroyed a whole mountain and dug up and entire desert), or the Hunt (his intense hunt for Phil's love, the insane grinding that could be seen as hunting for resources, the werewolf hc my beloved). Leaning more towards the Hunt bc dogboyyyyy
The plot I have in mind is very different from the tma plot, but I'm not sure of everything yet, so for now you get this little bpnus :)
[CLICK]
[Cellbit]
We've been back from the Adoption Center for about a day now. Not a timely update, but things happened, and, well.
We found... we found a weird... creature. It- he? Acts human, although he can't talk. He communicates with us through a little notebook, and overall acts incredibly childish. He sure looks like a child. One with- with some material akin to... to egg shells as skin. He has hair, despite apparently being all... eggy. It's black and curly, covers his face. He doesn't like it when we try to move it away from there, but we're working on a safe way to see what's under there.
He seems not to know where he came from, but I know he's lying. It's- there's no way he doesn't, not with what he said, I don't care if Pac and Mike or, hell, Felps believes him, He called us fucking- he called us dads! That's the first fucking thing he said! It has to be some kind of trap, some kind of spy, I don't know yet but when I find out I'm going to fucking-
Shit. That wasn't too professional. Alright, where were we.
We brought him to the Institute. Forever and I weren't thrilled about the idea, but it was 3 against 2. I can't believe Felps would- I get Pac and Mike, there's something wrong with them I'm sure of it, but Felps? I underestimated his braincells. What am I talking about, he doesn't have any.
(Soft chuckle)
We, we named him Richarlyson, he seemed to like it. We asked his name first, but all he did was draw a- (Snort) a stick figure shrugging.
The only clothes he has are a singular oversized Brazil shirt. The moços and Felps want to go buy him clothes.
I don't know how they'll justify the kid having, I don't know, pure white hard skin, but they said not to worry about it, so I guess I won't! I won't. I fucking won't.
... I'm gonna follow them tomorrow. Just to be safe.
That's all for today, I'm gonna go- I'm going to check some statements, see if there's anything even remotely related to this.
This is Cellbit, Head Archivist of the QSMP, which I still don't known what stands for by the way, signing off.
[CLICK]
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spacehero-23 · 2 years
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ok here are my thoughts on the dragon prince season 4 episode 1:
So Claudia knew/talked to aaravos for 2 years?? oh no…
i LOVE the new intro
not the step mage
high mage callum! my baby…look at my baby using magic and being a good boy
sorvus??? i know what you are
also the animation when they were walking felt a bit off, like unfinished/unpolished? no?
ok. not just when they’re walking. it gives me r.w.b.y vibes…pls no
huh, the jokes really don’t land, like not a single one…
well maybe the “eating 3 people a day joke” i liked that one
zym is coming!!!!
“when i found your body…” Claudia, my sweetheart. GET AWAY FROM HER YOU MANIPULATIVE FUCK!
wow. the viren and claudia scenes are hitting so hard. (low-key they’re the only good scenes in the episode so far..)
not amaya beating up the dancers…girl
umm anyone else saw that callum was standing like vieren used to?? when he was talking to soren?
also, protective big brother callum. we love to see it
but that scene just showed how frustrated he fust feel, rayla left and he has no idea where she is, he still has to worry about claudia, and now his baby brother is king and in constant danger.
“for now”....oh, oh no.
I don’t like how obsessive Calum is getting with magic…
Callum defenestrating himself, see now that was funny.
“happy birthday big brother” 🥺
Viren looks so done…let this man die. i think he’d prefer it at this point
terry!
“trees to meet you” does that mean callum wasn’t talking out of his ass? OR that it was so funny that the earthblood elfs decided to use it as a joke but it caught on? 
“because of rayla”... I can’t do this anymore
“I don't even know if she’s alive” see this last scene is what i love about the dragon prince! please let the season be like that!
again, the comedy is eh, but sorvus in the background are really giving “boyfriends” 
this episode feels so disjointed, like, I like the claudia and vieren stuff, A LOT. but then we have “Callum's secret birthday party” and it feels like I’m watching two different shows.
I feel like this is why they released this episode a week before, so that people could watch this reintroduction to the world and the new status quo and then on the 3rd, jump straight into the actual plot. 
I’m sure this episode was fun for the people who didn’t read the extra content and had no idea rayla left, and why she left, and ep.1 had this air of mystery to it (it was destroyed by the bad jokes, but whatever)
and again the animation, it was weird. bc some scenes looked really pretty and exactly like the old style. but some…well, early rwby would be an insult, but it was off-putting. 
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absorbedbutler · 2 years
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begging for some sub austin
maybe mommy kink🫶
now… the rare mood where i’m into this has hit. i think it’s bc it’s three a.m also it’s like mostly soft dom reader i’ve never written dom reader WHOOPS
while you sat on your couch, watching a movie with your loving boyfriend, you had failed to realize what a hard whimpering mess he had become just from the way your tank top tugged down to show your breasts or the way your shorts rode up to the top of your thighs.
he grabbed your arm and moved it to the growing tent in his pants.
“mama please.” his puppy eyes were in full effect, him inching closer and closer to you.
you sighed and pulled him into you, his head falling to your chest.
“what has you needy babe? my cleavage? legs? say it.” he nuzzled his head into you and propped his head up to look at you.
“everything…” he said shyly, playing with the blanket around you both.
“okay,” you smoothed his hair and pushed the blanket off from around your hips “y’gonna eat me out? know you do it so well.” you said praising him, seeing the twinkle in his eyes
he immediately started to get down on the ground before the couch while keeping eye contact, slowly sliding your sleep shorts down your legs, taking his time to kiss from your ankles up to your mid thighs.
he started to kiss your clothed cunt, soaking the fabric and causing you to moan out and straighten up your back, arching while latching onto his hair and practically shoving him into you.
his warm mouth was driving you crazy, he pulled your thong down the bare minimum amount, barely a few inches down and delved into you.
closing your eyes you kept your grip on his dirty brown locs and jerked his head to meet your thrusts.
he was groaning and relaxing high whimpers you had only heard very few times, adding vibrations straight into you.
he was sucking and tonguing at you with fervor while pawing at your thighs, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
his hands ran up to your tits, massaging them, his eyes rolling back as you moaned and breathily giggled into the air.
you were sitting on your tip toes, practically destroying the poor boys mouth, panting out orders of “open your mouth wider” and “stick your tongue out a little for me”, all of them happily being obliged to by austin.
as he quickened his impossibly quick pace, you moved your thighs around his head, hearing a groan of approval from below you
he looked up at you and you made eye contact as you smiled at him and rubbed his cheek lovingly, quickly switching emotions as he fucked his tongue in and out of you, gripping onto him for dear life
you felt yourself come closer and closer by the second, him feeling you pulse around him and your clit throb against your tongue
once you finished and you could see your arousal on his chin, you expected to catch your breath and pull him up to you but he had different plans
his tongue still traced your folds, as if he was in a trance he kissed and puckered around you, overstimulated mewls filling his ears
once you swore you started to see god you had to push him away from you, his mouth still attempting to latch back into you
you practically slammed your thighs shut, hand coming to cover your eyes as you caught your breath
he wiped your slick off his mouth and chin and sucked it off his fingers, running his hands through his hair afterwords and staring at you
“cmon, let me take care of you now.” you started as you coaxed him up next to you
“think you’re a little too late” he said as he motioned to the wet spot on his crotch
as you pulled your underwear and shorts back up you laughed and looked back at him, grabbing his hand
although your dynamic was very much reliant on you being the more dominant one, you would never tell him how he had you wrapped around his finger
you were screwed.
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acaciapines · 5 months
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Your nanowrimo pieces are soooo goooood they hit so hard fr fr. I’m especially LOVING today’s one with the owl & the collector even tho I don’t rlly know that much abt toh bc I haven’t watched it but I can tell that u LOVE IT & I can’t wait to learn more thru osmosis once the fic is poooosteeeed✨ (i WILL read it i PROMISE i SWEAR)
Anyways give us the thoughts, the tea, tell us how you make the words do that✨ anything u wanna give in regards to today’s bit!! We’re not picky!
Hope y’all are doing okay! Gal says hi :) Remember to eat and drink something, take breaks, and look after yourselves and each other! We love you! This has been a Daily Interaction Ask <3
he he :3 im glad youre enjoying!! its been really fun to pick out my favorite bits even when usually those are the ones w/out context lol. look at my owl and weep boy. firefly <3
YOU WILL LEARN SO MUCH VIA OSMOSIS....literally now that im also doing something for s1 its like. why watch owl house we have owl house at home (the owl house at home is a 1 million word daemon au) (<- 1 mil is not a joke btw idk if it'll hit it but itll at least come very close. no idk why i did this.)
as for today! hmmm...
its truly so fun to write the collector. like im not joking about him being my favorite owl house character despite his maybe twenty total minutes of screentime, so its been such a JOY to expand his role in this series!!
bc like. god. actually i think i wrote a whole like. bit of flash fiction/prose poetry type thing for them a while ago. probably in my files somewhere. but just. youre an immortal eight year old. you are in these years where you need to interact with other people for your own mental stability and health. to figure out the whole Being A Person thing. and you are trapped for like, centuries. trapped away from everyone and everything and DUST, which, in universe, in literally connection personified. you're cut off from all of this.
and you are, let me say again, eight years old.
truly the collector is just. hes had everyone he ever cares about leave him--his siblings the other archivists left him behind not out of any sense of cruelty, really, but because caring about people just isnt really a thing they do. quite frankly they live so long they didnt even notice. theyre far-away stars. not far because they're mean. just because thats what stars do.
and then king's dad (who um. doesnt have a name <3 this is why the collector calls him 'the big bully' its literally bc i never gave him a name--) was an adult the collector actually trusted and looked up to (he meshed REALLY WELL into titan society until the archivists started Doing A Murder since titans are the only beings that match them in power and they have very very different ideas about dust). like ive said before the collector is owlbeastkin but before that they never had a super stable sense of identity--in another world where they stayed w/ the titans they wouldve ended up a titan.
and then king's dad just. trapped him in a tablet forever.
and like, to be fair to king's dad he was reacting out of fear and the best knowledge he had (he assumed the collector led the archivists to the titans, and like, he did, but its not like he knew he was doing that, and, you know, poor guy had seen a huge chuck of his fellow titans killed including babies and eggs of which he had an egg to consider), but it still TRAPPED THEM. and then he died and so did all the rest of the titans so nobody could free the collector even if they wanted to.
and then BELOS, who manipulated and lied to the collector for so long and was also literally his only friend after being alone forever, so like, of course the collector just blindly went along with whatever he said. he was gonna free them!! he listened to them when they talked about stardust which nobody else ever did! he had no idea what the fuck a witch was! he just liked being able to see the stardust sometimes, and belos brought him to places with a lot of stardust. to destroy it, but like--you know. it was THERE.
but all these people were just USING them, and they never really understand that until king comes around. and king's also a scared eight year old!! but like. king's also not wrong. the collector did aid belos in destroying the entire isles. like no joke belos SUCCEEDS here. like not long-term obvi this has a happy ending but at the point we're in at for the future? it doesnt matter that the draining spell failed. all the palistrom trees are dead. witch society Cannot come back from that even if they did end up beating the collector. theyre doomed.
anyways what was i saying. collector. right.
so like, then they meet firefly/grr-click-growl/wings-across-night/the owl beast (king of having so many names i love her <3) and shes like, the first person who cares for them and ISNT using them. even king is using them!! but firefly has seen Some Shit. she sees the collector as a hatchling who was kicked out of his nest and is doing her best to be some sort of stable figure for him, but she doesnt Not see the stuff he's done.
the collector took over the world bc he's scared--all he's ever known is being used and trapped so he doesnt exactly trust most people easily. firefly would Love to not be in this world anymore. shes also got a loyalty to eda and king and luzmari. and, like, cool motive, still trapping an entire society of people.
but like. shes the one who is here right now and nobody else is trying to help this kid.
but the collector just. hes just an eight year old. a very, very old eight year old. but he doesnt understand things like "you can make the wrong choices and still choose to do better later" and "im mad at what you did but that doesnt mean i dont care about you."
he just sees someone upset with him. just sees another person who used him and doesnt care and is going to leave bc everyone leaves him and in a world where EVERY SINGLE PERSON comes in pairs, hes the only one who stands alone.
basically tl;dr: collector my beloved <3
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aprillikesthings · 2 months
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Man I got through that last one fast
s4 ep8 Boys' Night Out
(This one took way longer but also I stopped partway through bc Mal the cat had zoomies and I must appease him with the laser pointer)
ALSO this ended up with multiple Our Flag Means Death references, you're welcome
Glimmer etc. save a bunch of sea elf people from a little village as Hordak destroys it, roll intro
Apparently Double Trouble is refusing to tell them anything more
also they're still arguing about Glimmer going off on her own
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also Mermista is taking a long bath and eating all the ice cream in Bright moon apparently
But yeah more arguing with Glimmer, and specifically getting mad at any hint of Adora telling her what to do
Which reminds me of a quote I copy/pasted into my fic notes (I do not remember where I got it I just know Nate said it)
"I think Adora has a huge character flaw where when she feels responsible for someone, she'll do anything to protect them to the point of fencing them in and accidentally taking away their agency. She thinks this is something that she's supposed to do, and I don't think she's fully addressed this part of herself. Catra and Glimmer think it comes from her ego, but she was raised to believe she was only worth anything to anyone if she was useful to them, so really she's just trying to prove herself to them. To prove that she's worth existing, even."
and like
ouch
but yeah it's hardcore on display here
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Swift Wind invites himself along lol
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lol
Hordak is a big dick, is gonna try to conquer more of Etheria himself so he looks all badass when Horde Prime shows up, orders Catra back to the Fright Zone
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and she's stressed out and smooths out her hair D:
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the bit of this character being asleep, getting elbowed awake, and iMMEDIATELY starting to play is so funny
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why does Swift Wind know the words
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new headcanon: Sea Hawk was a stripper at some point
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*adds to "this wasn't meant to be a Sex Joke...probably"* collection
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THE PHRASING DOESN'T HELP
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Look I make so many jokes about cartoon bondage, and here Sea Hawk PAID SOMEONE TO TIE HIM UP AND PRETEND TO KIDNAP HIM I just
I can't even add to that lolol
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something something insert "Our Flag Means Death"-based joke here
Swift Wind: I will contact Adora via MAGIC
back to Bright Moon
Adora: "what is going on with you? I know things are bad right now, but we can fix it!" Glimmer: "Why is that always your answer to everything!" Adora:
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If you don't let me fix it I HAVE NO WORTH OR VALUE AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Glimmer: we haven't fucking fixed a god damn thing and shit is getting WORSE Adora: WELL YEAH BC YOU WON'T LET US HELP YOU,
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Swift Wind: "She hung up on me!"
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IS IT GONNA BE KARL
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playing Sea Hawk was probably fun in general but he did in fact make seagull noises
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omg it is Karl
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okay so Admiral Scurvy is just like I WANT MONEY which brings me back to asking WHAT CURRENCY ARE THEY FUCKING USING
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mopey kitty. do you need laser pointer zoomies, too
oh no she doesn't know Scorpia has left and is pouring out her heart not realizing nobody is listening
"Listen, I'll kill you if you tell anyone this, but...I thought winning would be different. Or at least more...I don't know, fun?"
poor bb
Back to the boys: the Horde paid their ransom 😬
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oh god this is great
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but also Glimmer and Adora are having a screaming match and Glimmer punches LOW, including the line "Maybe your best isn't good enough! If it was, my mother would still be here!"
I took a screenshot of Adora's face in response but I can't post it it's too sad
but anyway, bigger things to worry about
Mermista: "The boys are in trouble!!"
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oh hey I remember that scene
Bow: Friendship takes work!!
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that is a very good point
also let's face this episode exists in part just so we get to have an episode in which three male characters get rescued by three women :D
okay I like Mermista's song ngl
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omg the double meaning of "fight with friends" catching up to them near the end of the song
and Catra goes looking for Scorpia and goes into her room and
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omg this is so funny and cute
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I forget where I read it (I've gone through so many interviews etc at this point omgggg) but iirc the note just says "sorry"
Back on the ship: Glimmer reaches out to try to talk to Adora--who smacks her hand away and stomps off
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😬 oh boy
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ADORA GOD DAMMIT
Mermista and Sea Hawk are still singing and having a good time, Bow stares off into the distance singing along, end of episode
...I took way more screenshots than I expected on this one lol
3 notes · View notes
keepyourpantsongohan · 3 months
Text
Ayesha Liveblogs Attack on Titan S4
Heading into the next season b4 I can think too much about it
Who are any of these soldiers? What an abrupt change in narration, considering Armin has done every intro until now
“Wasn’t I just flying around with a couple of swords in my hands? And there were Titans too.” That is also what I’m wondering, Falco 
“The successor to the Armoured Titan.” PARDON?? ALSO DOES REINER HAVE A BEARD NOW??? THAT’S NEW
So wait, if the loss of Bertholdt and Annie’s Titans are what caused the war, does that mean this war has been going for a year, since the battle of Shiganshina? Or has more time elapsed that I’m not aware of
“This war has dragged on for four years now.” I guess that answers my earlier question, assuming my premise was true
I must once again offer a hearty ‘Military bad’ to all of this:
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“Look, Colt, you’re the chosen successor of the Beast Titan.” How do ur Titan soldiers feel exactly when u tell them u’ve chosen who’s gonna eat ‘em
"Honestly, you might never find a warrior candidate who is as talented as me.” What I would give for Gabi’s level of unwavering self-confidence 
“I don’t shoot kids,” said an adult, for the first time ever in the history of this show
Honestly, the context that Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt knew about the outside world and then still chose to make things worse for the people already living in Titan Hell Island just makes them harder to understand
[Zeke yells out of a blimp] [Dozens of parachuting Titans are created mid-air] So the Beast Titan ability is just to fucking??? Yell people into Titans??? ZEKE WHAT ON EARTH
This does explain where all of those Titan ppl were coming from in Shiganshina tho
“I’m sick and tired of all these walls.” Is that why you kept destroying them, Reiner?????? 
As a sidenote, now that there are visibly brown people on screen: The ONLY action anime that hasn’t made me feel weird about their brown-skinned characters is Bleach; granted I haven’t watched that many shows, but the depiction in AOT is about as yikes as I expected 
[ATLA voice] “Did Reiner just die?” “You know, it was really unclear.”
“My father, Grisha Jaeger, set something great and terrible in motion on that island, and as his former son, I would like to be the end of it,” said Zeke, like he had nothing to do with anything terrible happening on Paradis and as if he can renounce paternity like a belief system
So it’s not a known factor that Zeke has royal blood? Also why is royal blood so important in this show lmao like isn’t a king just whoever conquered ur country most recently
Ymir confirmed for bury ur gays (poor Historia) but when one female Titan disappears, another one must apparently reappear 
Also weird that there have been a number of Titans who are women but Annie gets to hold the Female Titan title just cause her Titan got tiddies 
Reiner being an older brother figure to these Other Military Kids gives me acid reflux why am I compelled to have stake in someone who has done so many wrongs 
“Surpass Gabi to protect her.” You see, ACID REFLUX
Also nausea-inducing: The transparent H******** analogies!! WHY
We interrupt this griping to notice: IS THAT EREN IN MARLEY WITH THE BLINDFOLD? THAT LOOKS LIKE EREN’S HAIR
Setting other things aside, that they had to have Reiner’s uncle say “Sorry nephew,” as a way to intro the fact that Reiner and Gabi are cousins is funny, bc no one would say that, why not just have Reiner say “Uncle”????
Because they’ve yet to check in at all with what has been going on on the island, it really does feel like a whole different spin-off
Annie’s being able to summon Pure Titans confirmed as a Female Titan ability
“Well, I’m running away as fast as I can,” said Reiner’s father, summing up the attitude of almost every parental figure on this show
Mad relate to Reiner becoming reliable to fulfill a need in the team
Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt don’t look older than 12 in the flashback, why must the core force of these armies always be pubescent 
What even was the point of Annie tracking Kenny? Bc he was Uncle Uri’s BF?
“His legs are saying it’ll snow today, right?” “Yeah, but his torso’s saying clear skies.” Thomas and Connie using Bertholdt’s sleep positions to predict the weather 😭😭😭😭😭 Boys ur friend is a douche
“Thing is, I don’t want this other candidate to be picked.” “Why not? Is this rival of yours a girl by chance?” It’s DEFINITELY Eren, and wow, Eren assuming the only reason u would not want ur friend to be a Titan is bc she’s a girl, quit projecting ur life onto Falco 
How exactly is Eren missing a leg can he STOP himself from regenerating? 
Also whose idea was it for Eren to be at exactly the place that wants to kill him the most kjghkgjh what kinda weirdass plan 
“I’m doing this for you!” “He really just up and said it!” The guards being invested in Gabi and Falco’s potential tween romance 
I really cannot follow the Commander and Willy’s conversations, are they going to overthrow the governments of the world orrrrrr
“My name’s Jaeger, I’m an internment zone physician.” Oh my god, Eren’s meeting his grandpa 
Ah, so Eren’s crazed rambling is hereditary, I guess
“I think I know why [this woman would save me]! She must be an Easterner from Hizuru.” Dshkjdhkfjh u must be East Asian in this Marleyan society in order to acquire empathy
Perplexed by the man in the kaffiyeh holding alcohol but perhaps that’s on me for not interrogating my own preconceived notions
“I got [Reiner] to come!” announced Falco to Eren excitedly, not knowing that he was facilitating a meeting of probably the two least sane people in the world at the moment 
Lmao @ the sudden content warning on episode 64, like should I be newly worried
“What do you plan to do?” “The exact same thing you did. As for why? That’s the same too.” Incredible that all it takes to threaten Reiner is ‘I’m rubber you’re glue’ (also yikes at Eren implying he’s gonna fuck-up one third of Reiner’s country) 
“I feel like I’ve seen you before.” Me too Pieck, I think Shady Helmet is Annie, and I love that for her 
Falco’s lesson of the day: Stranger Danger 
What exactly has Eren been doing the past four years that he now views himself as a villain and Willy feels confident to label him as such in a crowd of the whole world 
“If all that was to save the world, then you didn’t have much choice,” said Eren, even though Reiner definitely did, and Eren definitely does now (military bad!!!)
Eren has defeated Reiner through the power of empathy and 10 years of deep-seated psychological trauma 
“If I escaped while my people died en masse, the world would not rally to our cause.” Willy Tybur really willingly offered himself and a bunch of civilians to die to both smoke out Eren and to start a world war. And Eren really went through it, knowing he would be offering the first blow in the war, and killing a bunch of people of his same heritage! A game of cat and also cat (war crime edition)
“But I’m just as sure that we’re devils ourselves.” Who’s he calling the devils? Him and Tybur? The military? Non-Eldians as a whole? Commander Magath’s vibes are constantly oscillating, what’s his deal
I’m going to guess that the War Hammer Titan is Finé, since she is the only Tybur child to get a name 
Update from 6 minutes later: It’s Auntie War Hammer, actually
The parallels between Udo and Eren trying to lift something off of their loved ones who have been crushed by debris. Sickening 
Is it wrong to be happy that the Scouts are finally showing up? I mean, everyone is clearly on Murder Avenue, but hey, they are the protagonists 
“You’ve killed so many civilians. Innocent people. Kids.“ Not to be pedantic, Mikasa, but he did that in Stohess like five years ago with Annie, that ship has sailed 
Fascinated by everyone’s new looks now that they’ve abandoned most of their morality - not loving the slicked hair and goatee for Jean but Mikasa’s hair is fun 
“Are a bunch of humans... really about to come and kill me?” U can’t put people on Titan Hell Island for 100 years and expect them not to learn how to kill Titans 
“Stay alive; that’s an order.” Levi's steadfast look and personality are a welcome constant
I’m like, pretty convinced Eren is going to die at some point in this season, he seems pretty down and out and Armin ain’t the narrator for nothing 
Oh hey, speaking of Armin, been a while since we’ve seen you, your hair looks nice but I guess you are also Unwell™
Did Levi just detonate a bomb on Zeke’s Titan face while he was still standing on it, what kinda wild tactics
“Did I hesitate because of that kid?” We’ll call it a mild victory that we didn’t have to watch Jean murder a child in cold blood
Wow the scouts have blimps now? They’ve really seen some benefit from travelling across the sea; decades of knowledge in five years
But seriously what the fuck did Eren, Armin and Mikasa DO in the past four years that caused them to look so haunted? I get that they’re fucked up by what they’re doing NOW but it seems like a pre-existing condition
“You have a real kickable face, you know that?” Ah, it seems that Eren did not have permission to go live in a place where people wanted to eat him
“We’ve fought the New Eldian Empire’s first battle, and it ended in Victory.” Guess Titan Hell Island has decided to embrace their title as Eldians? They didn’t even know what that was five years ago jghjgh
“Honestly, I’m just glad that we made it. I know this isn’t fair to the others, but you guys will always be special, to me.” Connie treating being close friends with Sasha and Jean like it’s a betrayal to the military kjhgjkhg
“Mr. Zeke was killed right in front of us.” Oh so Zeke’s like, dead dead?
“You’re one of the good ones.” Again, I want to emphasize how much I hate everything that’s happening right now
YIKES @ Sasha being shot by a child, are they gonna kill Gabi now?
Once again I must be thankful that Jean doesn’t love murder
Whomst the heck is Yelena, I thought we would be seeing an Annie comeback?? RIP
“Quite the performance, coming from a mangy furball.” SO WE’RE WORKING WITH ZEKE NOW? THE HELL IS GOING ON 
“You noticed that trend [of rescuing Eren] and used it against us. Held yourself hostage to force our hand.” Both more manipulative and shrewd than I have come to expect from Eren; growth??????
I suppose we’re going to find out whomst the heck Yelena and Onyankopon are
“I was concerned for Historia’s safety.” Eren what happened to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu three years ago you were all still relatively.... yourselves
“Welcome to our defiled island of filth-blooded devils, you’re gonna to love it here.” Again, thank u to Levi for being who he is
“But as we gradually set aside the labels we have for one another, and worked to see each other as people, we can reach an understanding.” SCOOOOUTS WHAT HAPPENED TO UUUUUUUUUUUU WHERE ARE THE TEENS WHO PLAYED IN THE SEAAAAA
“Thank you for every tasty meal you made for her.” Ahhh Nicolo loved Sasha even despite their different upbringing that’s so sad
“Right, Annie? Say something, please.” Can’t remember if I brought this up when Armin first ate Bertholdt but imo it’s been an underpinning of Armin’s actions throughout the series that he has some deeper feelings for Annie, so it is not lost on me that both vessels of the Colossal Titan have liked Annie
It tickles me every time Hange calls Eren out for his crazed muttering
I can’t believe the pay-off for Mikasa being the only East Asian person on this island is that she’s a lost princess but of course, why not? 
“But I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect match than you.” Okay Historia, I see your subtle flirt with Mikasa, I am not opposed to wlw princess vibes 👀👀👀👀👀👀
“Zeke will pass on the Beast Titan to an individual who has royal blood, and that person must spend the 13 years they’ll have left bearing as many children as possible.” Gross. Also if this so-called royal blood is so important, it really should be Zeke who fucks as many child-bearing people as possible bc someone with functioning testes can typically make waaaaaaaaaaaaay more babies in that time than someone with a uterus 
EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE THAT HISTORIA IS HAVING A BABY JUST FOR MILITARY PURPOSES; GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh wait, she chose to find a partner and get pregnant in opposition to the military’s timeline? Hmmmm, still hate it 
Hahahaha I guess now we know why everyone’s so much beefier, they were building railroads
“You brats got taller. It’s like you’re sprouting up just to spite me.” Hahaha Levi 
Eren’s friends all going around and offering to be his Titan heir (and, as a result, EAT HIM) is so fucking funny, Jean being too smart, Connie and Sasha being too dumb, Mikasa being too valuable (not to mention the fact she could never eat Eren jkhgkjhg)
“Because you’re important to me. More than anyone ese. I hope... you’ll live long lives.” [Eren’s entire friend group blushes] I too wonder, Jean, what the hell kind of mood they’re trying to set here kjhgkhgkgh
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Jean raises a very fair point about Eren not caring who lives or dies if he’s willing to send his whole friend group into battle 
Tho as a counter to Connie, he of all ppl should recognize laughter as a trauma response 
Like, laughing is exactly what Eren did when Hannes died, and he was definitely mourning then
Also good that we are finally getting some Current Emotional Narrative Focus on the literal PROTAGONISTS 
“All are welcome at the Braus Stables,” I can’t believe Sasha’s parents are taking in the kid who killed their daughter oh nooooooooo
Wow Louise, what an unexpected callback to the evacuation of Trost
“But [the invasion of Marley] was recent, and my mother was killed four whole years ago.” Kaya is also an unexpected callback, but damn, I don’t think u can talk Gabi out of her dedication to generational sin 
Side note: The legacy of Sasha rescuing a child vs the child who murdered her, super fucked up 
“You don’t have to apologize for Marley, you just happened to be born there.” Kaya killing Gabi with kindness
Incredibly pot-kettle for Reiner to have any objection to Zeke defecting lmao he did exactly what you did, dude 
“Well, you are a boy at that age; I bet you’d like to do all kinds of ‘discovering’ with Annie, if you could.” On one hand, Hitch u right, on the other hand, Armin would never get involved-involved with Annie unless it was reciprocated, and on a foot, he’s like 20 now right? Shouldn’t he have a grasp on his hormones by this point hgjhgkjhg
Yelena’s description of Eren’s divine fury is truly filling in the Venn diagram of Death Note and AOT fans huh
“You’re right that there would be no harm in letting us talk to him, so why would [Premier Zachary] forbid it?” My current guess is he’s testing how well Armin and Mikasa will abide by military orders
Well, Armin’s guess is usually better than mine, so I guess it’s Plan E(at Eren)
Did Eren just bisect the Premier?????????? Eren, once again I am asking, what the fuck??????????????
“We believe that whoever delivered the chair must’ve planted a bomb in it.” Oh good, it was not Eren, but it was probably those fanatic scout recruits 
“Armin. The hell is going on right now?” Same, Mikasa, same 
On a more lighthearted note, was the timeskip (aside from being a shorthand for large leap in character motives) mostly to age and beef Eren up, because it would’ve been harder to pull off this Messiah on the Hill moment if Eren were still a skinny fifteen-year-old?
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“But as a result [of adapting to turbulent times] our prestige has been reduced to the point where we’re now derided as a pack of wretched, money-grubbing vixens.” Hey now, Lady Azumabito, what’s wrong with being a money-grubbing vixen
“Armin and I were there when the bomb went off; we almost got killed by the blast.” But whether Eren instigated the assassination or not (I suspect not) seriously I do not fuck with any version of Eren that would let Armin or Mikasa die what happened to the boy who was ready to have an all-out brawl with Levi on the chance Armin could get to live?????
Another mild bit of knowledge I recently had was that Eren would eventually look older and have long hair. In S3 Part II, I was incredibly convinced that that would come as a result of defection based on Armin’s death. And I’m not saying timeskips are always pointless, but they are often used to get around the fact the character you wrote just Wouldn’t Do That
Eughhhhhh they are finally explaining how Zeke has been long-distance Titan transforming, poor Ragako and Connie :(
“And seeing as you murdered every person who lived there, you should learn the name, you bearded shit.” Levi is the only person in this show that gives me any kind of peace
HAHAHAHAHA a moment of recognition for this dialogue (it’s me I’m the ladies - also RIP Petra)
Zeke: Doubt you were well-liked by the ladies. Considering how you think you know what everyone else is feeling.
Levi: I do know. And I was liked enough. So.
Zeke, who has never been liked by a lady, bitterly: Well, good for you!
“Guess that makes us even, you Eldian devil.” 1) The fuck, Nicolo 2) Is that wine poisoned or smth
Update from 7 minutes later: Yes, but also no 
Well I think with Gabi’s murderous monologue there goes the last of whatever sanity Nicolo had left
The Scouts still not wanting harm to come to Gabi despite her killing their friend :(
The way that Mr. Braus is holding that knife against his fingers really looks like he’s about to cut his hand a la the Titan Gang but that would be an abrupt change of scene 
“Way I see it, when it comes to shoulderin’ the sins and hatreds of the past, that burden should fall to adults like you and me.” MR. BRAUS <3
Kaya’s murderous rage about Sasha was entirely expected but still sad
So like...... everyone in the military who drank that wine will become a Titan whenever Zeke wants? HORRIFYING
“What the hell became of the hope we all looked towards?” Oh don’t worry Levi, things are about to get much, much worse 
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“Why would I want that? Always with the killing. It’s like it’s all you ever think about. Just like someone else I know.” Armin said: Gabi, you remind me of my BFF Eren, who also loves murder <3
Eren said: Speak of the devil and he doth appear
Floch has never had a good opinion in his whole damn life, everything he says, I’m like ‘go fuck yourself, Floch’
“And you wouldn’t put us at risk either. You care about us more than anyone!” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MIKASA (itslazywriting.jpg)
“Then part of you has become Bertholdt. Within you is an enemy, who has feelings for another enemy.” I think Armin had feelings for Annie pre-eating Bertholdt, but maybe that’s just me 
Eren calling Mikasa, a survivor of human trafficking, a slave, is gross as hell. Eren can go fuck himself too. WHAT HAPPENED TO ‘YOU’RE IMPORTANT TO ME!’ THESE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, MAN!!!!!!!! THE NARRATIVE HAS YET TO GIVE ME A GOOD JUSTIFICATION FOR WHY YOU’RE SUCH A DICK NOW
“The mere sight of you has always made me so damn angry. And now I finally know why. I just couldn’t stand to look at a slave with no mind of her own, who always followed orders without question.” SHUT THE FUCK UP EREN, ARMIN AND MIKASA WERE YOUR FRIENDS FOR YOUR ENTIRE CHILDHOOD, AND YOU LOVED THEM, DUMBASS
“Believe me when I say this, Mikasa. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve hated you.” I will note that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship has always had a weird tone bc Mikasa was exuding a ‘siblings by chance <3 lovers by choice’ energy but Eren, despite not responding to those feelings, LOVED HER AS A FRIEND! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY WHO VOWED TO PROTECT MIKASA AND DISCOVERED HIS COORDINATE POWERS IN AN EFFORT TO PROTECT HER???? WHY ARE WE IGNORING THE PAST THREE SEAAAAAAASONSSS UGH
HONESTLY? GOOD FOR ARMIN, I’D ALSO PUNCH EREN!!!!!
“Is there any wine left?” “Of course not, we’ve been here a month, there’s not a single drop left.“ If Levi becomes a Titan or is killed I will riot. This show is already hot wet garbage, I can’t see it getting any better in the remaining half season
Thank god for Levi, who has done so many wrong things, but has principles, and I love him with my whole dumbass heart 
“I want you to beat up the Commandant here mercilessly until he can’t stand anymore.” Eren and Floch 2022 for the Worst President and Vice President that any nation has ever seen 
Update from two years later: I can’t believe I am STILL watching this stupid fucking show
“Your throw has some serious heat behind it, Zeke!” You’re telling me that Zeke’s entire Titan fighting style and ideology is based on the fact that he’s good at baseball and Ksaver zoned in on his daddy issues
“The truth is, [your parents] never loved you,” said Ksaver to Zeke, in what might be a true statement, but still probably is something you shouldn’t say to a child 
So given his youth respective to Annie & co., Zeke is supposed to be what, max 10 years older than Eren? He’s 30? He’s aged like sour milk 
“Would it be possible for the Founder to make it so that none of us can have children anymore?” What’s the endgame of this eugen!cs plotline 4 real bc it makes me want to throw up
So Zeke’s plan... is to have Eren... enforce eugen!cs by way of mass sterilization????? Why would someone write this story? Why am I still watching this story? I hate it, I hate it so much 
“If the Eldians in this town had never been born, then none of them would have to suffer and die in the plan that you and I are about to carry out,” said Eren, like he and Zeke weren’t 100% responsible for each and every suffering from hereon out 
WHY DO PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE HAVE EREN POSTERS ON THEIR WALLS?? EREN GIVE ME SOME HOPE UR NOT ENTIRELY THE WORST AND YOU’VE GOT SOME OTHER OBJECTIVE OR PLAN IN MIND, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Me, still trying to finish this show despite the bone arsenic it gives me every episode:
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I still don’t think Levi is dead despite being exploded upon (twice), however he dies (as I’m almost sure he will), he’s gonna go out fighting 
Now that I think about it, I assume he will fight Eren, and I hope he kicks him in the ass
“Assuming that he hasn’t just lost it, I don’t see him [hurting Armin and Mikasa] without having some kind of reason.” Finally, a word of sense. Jean and Levi 2022 for a Government Which Still Probably Sucks, But At Least The Public Can Trust That They Have Some Kind of Sense of the Common Good 
I can’t believe Gabi is STILL holding onto the Good Eldian/Bad Eldian dichotomy in spite of everything she’s seen
“But to think that your cause was so noble. It just touched my heart!” I am assuming Armin’s crocodile tears to Yelena also have some greater plot purpose
Eren said: Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal Pieck 
Turns out, I was wrong. Levi is dead. THANKS FOR NOTHING, AOT
WAIT, HANGE TOOK HIM, I’M HOLDING OUT MINIMAL HOPE
“I saw a girl I didn’t know, sculpting the earth to reform my body.” Queen Ymir, I guess? 
“I don’t trust Marley one bit. Having said that, I trust the comrades who fought at my side completely.” Pieck as the only person in this dumbass military who has some perspective
They really do just breeze past Gabi being chained to Pieck’s severed hand LMAO, where does the cuff go?
Yelena’s learning of Eren’s no. 1 skill: Not listening to anyone
“Who else could talk Marley into doing something so stupid?” Firstly, pot-kettle, Eren, and secondly, yeah, sounds about right. Reiner and Eren remain the most out of their minds of anyone in this whole show
Magath really talking about bringing an end to 2,000 years of hatred like Marley had nothing to do with it 
I’m not sure what the Jaegerists were expecting, their artillery isn’t really designed to fight people one-on-one
“I’d like to hear [Onyankopon] out at least. ‘Kay?” Armin’s kekkei genkai is immeasurable patience. My god
“[...] That the world is more interesting with different kinds of people. I think you believe that. And I think that belief goes against everything Zeke’s doing.” I just don’t understand what the end game is here! Like, what is the point!!!!!!!! What are you trying to say!!!!!!!!! 
“Do you actually believe Eren wants to stop all Eldians from having children? You honestly think he’d go along with that?” NO ARMIN, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR THE LAST HALF SEASON
All this said: Starting to lose my faith, buddy, seems a little too optimistic at this point
Fnfjnfjfnf Eren’s friends said: I’ll rescue him, but I’m not happy about it
Poor Falco and Nile, hate that that they’re sitting in a dungeon, waiting to be turned into Titans. Zeke, ur the worst
“I’m glad that we’re fighting towards a common goal, now.” Can I just say, I am glad that for once since this season began, the Scouts/104th cadet corps have some sense of agency? Good grief 
Quick question, what in the fuck is wrong with Yelena? What kind of Junji Ito-ass expression did she just make? 
Also, doesn’t bode well for Armin that Yelena agrees with him
If Nile gets shot for trying to help Falco see his brother, I’m gonna scream
“There were never any devils on this island.” FINALLY, GABI!!!!!!!!!! It took like, at least 4 different encounters with kind people (Jean and co., the Braus family, Armin, Nile) for the lesson to stick 
“So yeah, Udo and Zofia are dead ‘cause of me. And also, I’m in love with you.” Being 12-years-old is tough in this economy
Colt really has a lot of information to process about his brother today. Confessing to unintentionally facilitating mass casualty, love, and his imminent death/dehumanization 
“So that’s where my dear little Pieck met her end.” Is it though? No body, no death
Yeah, thought so. Zeke’s never been correct about anything
Does the ep title ‘Two Brothers’ foreshadow both Zeke and Falco dying, as one of half of two brothers? Truly unfortunate for Falco, he’s just a little guy
The real question is if the Scream can also compel Armin, or Annie. They’ve never tried it on Intelligent Titans, I don’t think
Also, Annie was able to Scream Titans to do stuff, back in those woods. She could also be of royal blood?
Also speaking of the whole royal blood thing, if Zeke’s spinal fluid’s ability to turn people into Titans is unique, how were they doing it before Zeke inherited the Beast? Like how did the whole penal colony angle function if Grisha and Dina were turned BEFORE Zeke inherited? Does any Titan spinal fluid work, and if so, why is it so difficult to obtain? Riddle me that
I don’t even have the energy to process how fucked up what just happened was. Nile, Pyxis, and every damn soldier down there getting turned into monsters with no out but death. Falco inadvertently incinerating his brother (for nothing! Porco is going to sacrifice himself anyway!! Colt’s death served NO purpose other than demonstrating his love for his brother)
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT??????????????????????????????????
EREN?????????????? WHAT???????? THE FUCK????????? 
“Those chains around your neck.” “I was starting to wonder if you ever going to say anything about that. Well, even if it took a while, I appreciate your concern.” Zeke said: Don’t worry, we may be in Titan Purgatory, but I have still retained my passive aggressive personality
“Do you seriously believe I’d euthanize the Eldian people?” FUCKING FINALLY EREN! PLEASE TELL ME YOUR PLAN IS TO GET RID OF THE ABILITY TO TRANSFORM INTO TITANS
“I waited to hear your true feelings, and that was the right decision.” This really is the season of sudden but inevitable betrayals
What’s the point of having a Founding Titan or Coordinate at all if you need royal blood to use it? Seems redundant, since it seems like Zeke can more or less control Titans on his own. Is it only the biology thing
“He sacrificed his children on the altar of nationalism.” Absolutely hate to say it, but Zeke, for once in his life, has a point
If the rest of this season could be Baby Eren chasing butterflies, that would be much appreciated. I’d watch 10 hours of that
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“He was a shitty human being who did a shitty job as a father.” I like it that it’s Dumping on Grisha Hours, it’s vaguely cathartic 
Lmao at Eren ‘you’ve undone his brainwashing’ hahaha u could hold ur stupid fucking plan for months or years, but somehow u think this’ll work? Same old impatient guy
“Why did he wait so long [to take the Founding Titan]?” Hahaha Zeke’s finding out the reality that not all siblings are raised equally
“He set aside his mission for the sake of his son. Would’ve been nice if he could’ve done that for me. Good for you, though.” Take a shot every time Zeke is passive aggressive and develop severe liver damage
The one bit of world-building here that doesn’t give me bone arsenic is that people can develop autonomy within these memories, and seem to have some access to the future. It’s interesting
“I came into this world ready for a fight.” Eren said: Murder is my only personality trait 
“I won’t move on if it means abandoning you.” Wild that both Grisha and Zeke decide to put their plans on hold for Eren’s sake, when Eren seems to care so little for it in response 
Eren really does have his dad’s whole face, huh:
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“The power of the Attack Titan offers us brief glimpses into the lives of those yet to inherit it. Meaning, it allows to witness events in the future.” Ohhhhhh so it turns out Paternity-TSD is not just a Titan thing, it is an Attack Titan thing
“Eren will get everything he wants.” I can’t believe that Grisha’s fall from grace comes from EREN being the one to force his hand, through memories alone, to kill the Founding Family. Eren said: Uno reverse, Dad! I AM THE SHITTY FATHER EVERYONE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT
Imagine, momentarily, being followed around by a grown version of your 9-year-old who incites you to commit violence. No wonder Grisha’s like this
“But even so, I will always love you. If only... I’d let you be my son instead of trying to make you a soldier.” Is this a hurtful or a healing experience for Zeke
So ur tellin’ me Founder Ymir got Titan powers by falling down a well inside of a tree? Okay Grimdark Inuyasha
Pretty fucked up that the royal family got the Founding Titan power through coerced reproduction, but what in this show isn’t fucked up? I’m so tired
If Maria, Rose, and Sina all had kids, I still think Annie could be from the royal blood line. We’ve got Zeke and Historia from two different blood lines, that still leaves one blond to go
Also also also this backstory doesn’t answer the question of how everyone else became a Subject of Ymir. Is everyone from Titan Hell Island her direct descendant? That doesn’t make any sense, because then everyone would be descended from Fritz also. Honestly the thing I suspect (and have suspected, ever since Ragako) is that anyone can be turned into a Titan, not Eldians specifically
Although, this Foundervision makes it seem like all Eldians do specifically have a specific link to Ymir. Is the implication all the people in that society had a little piece of her? Honestly none of the royal bloodline stuff makes any sense if you think about it for more than a few minutes
“The Titans of the Walls will continue their march until every trace of life beyond our shores is trampled flat, and the people of Paradis, are all that remains of humanity.” Eren said: Survival of the craziest
To paraphrase a tumblr post: If you go to the circus for advice, don’t be surprised when it’s delivered to you by a clown
This episode is called Thaw, which means FINALLY Annie. I have been waiting for her to come back to the side of the Scouts!
Honestly, kind of surprised it’s taken Reiner this long to give up LOL
“We’re doing what they feared we’d do, because we have to.” Do you have to, Jean? DO YOU?
“He did this for his friends. Eren wants to protect us, even if it means killing everyone else on the planet.” [B99 VOICE] COOL MOTIVE, STILL MURDER, JEAN 
Well, Connie’s psychological break is much to be expected, I guess
The Braus family and Nicolo automatically protecting Gabi despite how much she’s hurt them personally <3 I love them
“There’s a devil in me, Kaya. And in you, and in everyone else. That’s why our world’s the way it is. There’s a devil inside us all.” I mean, yeah, but I fail to see why you use this framework of oppression metaphors if ur suggesting that everyone is on equal moral standing, because it reeks of ‘there are bad people on both sides’ which like. Then why frame it as slave and subjugator? Why not just frame it as a conflict of nations? They are different metaphors
Armin thanking Pyxis and wishing him rest as he puts him down. Ahhhh oh Armin :( <3 
“You survived.” “Damn, no need to sound so excited about it.” That’s also how I feel about Floch, Jean
“I can’t say for sure, but if Eren could do [a Titan transformation reversal], I think he would’ve done it for our comrades that Zeke turned into Titans, instead of leaving them for us to kill.” Armin still hoping for empathy from Eren despite his plot to kill everyone in the world
Although, this does make a bit of sense as to why Eren also reacted so strongly to Zeke trying to scream. He couldn’t undo what Zeke was about to do
“When he brought the walls down, he did it by breaking all Titan hardening, everywhere.” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEE
Turns out Hitch, Annie’s former roommate and prison guard, is voiced by the same VA as Wendy from Fairy Tail. I knew she sounded familiar LOL
Gjklgglhgkjh @ Annie’s story being ‘your found family can also be garbage’
Annie [Tiktok audio voice]: Traumatize ur parents BACK
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LMAO @ THIS BANTER, GUESS IT’S BEEN ROUGH FOR ANNIE NOT TO BE ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PAST HALF DECADE
Hitch: Okay wait. I don’t need to hear your entire life story.
Annie: I didn’t need to hear about every failed relationship you’ve had in the past four years. It’s not going to kill you to let me talk for a few minutes.
Did Annie’s dad just die???? It remains unclear
Not to state an obvious point but the Jaegerists are so icky. Who has the capacity for a military coup in the middle of a mass casualty event which affected EVERYONE, including them. Fuckhead Floch, that’s who
Also Shadis admitting he’d let the recruits attack him on purpose and advising them to not fight the coup! He really is a good teacher
“There’s no point in worrying about Eren. We can’t stop him, he’s a lost cause!” Armin has finally reached the limit of his near infinite patience
Not Mr. Braus calling Connie a decent sort to Gabi when Connie’s mid-way through a plan to murder her friend
“Be as annoying, selfish and arrogant as you please.” “Well, that’s kinda rude.” Jean truly deserves to be the protagonist of this show
Connie and Armin going to bat who will be the most mentally unwell companion to their traumatized 12-year-old. Based on Armin’s “Levi saving the wrong person” comment, there seems a very real possibility that Armin might offer to let Connie’s mum eat him instead
“He’s just a poor bastard who refuses to die.” LEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LOVE U, NO BODY NO DEATH
I can’t believe Hange’s explanation for Levi not dying via explosive blast is ‘he’s just built different’
I guess he did lose a couple of fingers but my real question is why have u advanced in all technologies except for prosthetics. Feels like that should be a common need here
Appreciate Levi stating Pieck (Finger) and (Theo) Magath’s full names for exposition lol
“Sasha. Would you have understood what I’m about to do?” Considering all of Sasha’s love towards her siblings and protecting kids, no, probably not, Connie 
DEAR GOD. THE BEST PLAN CONNIE COULD COME UP WITH IS ASKING FALCO TO BRUSH HIS TITAN MUM’S TEETH. HE TRULY IS THE DUMBEST OF THE ALIVE SCOUTS, AND THAT’S INCLUDING EREN
Full disclosure I had to stop watching this episode bc of all the things this show has made me watch, the concept of Connie trying to Hansel and Gretel this 12-year-old child has pushed me to my limits. I’m back now and I’m gonna try my best
PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME WATCH ARMIN DIE AGAIN, I WILL CRY. PLEASEEEEEEEE 
Update from 1 minute later: OH THANK GOD 
“I want to try and become the kind of soldier my mum would be proud of,” said Connie, as the child he’d almost murdered wheezed in the background 
“Guess whatever you’re worried about doesn’t really bother Jean.” Is it weird that I am kind of hoping Mikasa and Jean end up together? There’s something compelling about how they’re both simultaneously so fucked up in slightly opposite ways now
KFJHKFH the comedy of Annie just being sat right beside Armin and Connie as they theorize about her 
“Goodbye. Sincerely, your gloomy roommate.” Me whenever I leave the house
[Mocking] “And I get to live out my life with your sad little gang of xenophobic shitheads?” Onyankopon makes a direct and accurate hit
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW JEAN WOULDN’T MURDER HIS FRIEND!!! GO SCOUTS!!!!!!!!!
“Don’t you ever brush your teeth [as a Titan]?” “You shouldn’t ask such things, I’m a lady, remember?” LMAO Hange asking the real questions about titan dentistry 
“Then that burning pile of bones would’ve haunted me for the rest of my life.” Jean truly has never stopped being in love with Marco this whole time. Bisexual king 
“Let’s go.” “Go where?” “To end this, and save the world.” Alright, alright, they do know how to refocus my attention:
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The scar on Jean’s dream wife’s cheek showing he still has feelings for Mikasa <3 Ahhh
I appreciate this retrospective on how they coordinated the attack, though it does probably mean the last eps in this part will not advance the narrative that much 
“I’ll do it. Eren’s killed too many already. I won’t sit back and watch him steal more lives.” Good for Mikasa!!!
“You remember Willy Tybur’s speech. What’s the world gonna do when we prove him right?” Jean reasonably points out that Eren has essentially guaranteed the destruction of either civilization (Paradis v. the Outside World)
I continue to be surprised about how explicit Armin and Hange have been about the fact Eren is committing geno-[GUNSHOT NOISE]
I know it was established last episode that this was still about Marco for Jean but it’s brought into sharper relief when they have a mise en scene dedicated to every single person they’ve lost, and then Marco gets his own panel. Everything always returns to unresolved trauma and transparent metaphors for bisexuality: 
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“Hange. In the end, I’ll always be a Scout.” Jean said: I will prevent our friend from committing crimes against humanity, but I’m not like, happy about it 
“Compared to the sum of the carnage and misery wrought by Eldia, your island’s suffering is a joke.” I know Magath is probably trying to test their conviction in standing against Eren, but what a dick thing to say to the people whose lives and homes you have been actively destroying for ten years
Also Magath being a poster child for propaganda efficacy
“If we’re going to be at each other’s throats, let’s stick to arguing about stuff we’ve lived through ourselves.” That’s what I’m saying, Hange
God. Mikasa and Armin STILL wanting to get through to Eren to convince him to stop the Rumbling AFTER everything that’s happened. The residual loyalty Eren has proved himself beyond reciprocating 
“We shouldn’t be fighting,” said Annie, right after provoking Mikasa to fight
Are we finally going to see the fucking point of Yelena as a character? Being from Marley makes sense for her, but honestly I feel like all she’s done is be like, Non-Island Floch (inciting violence and planning insurrection in her group of volunteers/Jaegerists), and we don’t really need two of those, do we?
“Who wouldn’t want to imagine themselves as the saviour of hundreds of millions of innocent lives? To wash the bitterness of hatred out of their mouths with the honeyed taste of righteousness. From where I sit, it seems like that’s what all of you are doing right now.” Yelena said: Actually, you guys are stopping the wholesale slaughter of all other people on earth for selfish reasons 
How the fuck do any of these guys trust drinking alcohol after what happened with Zeke??????????? JEAN YOU WORRY ME
Kind of glad the Scouts got an explanation from Reiner and Annie for how Marco died? At least they get some closure 
“We all just started fighting, and assumed it had to be to the death.” Well. In more direct terms, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie did actually try to kill you all, Jean, but I see what you’re saying about non-lethal force being an option in your lives 
“Don’t forgive me. I’m truly worthless.” Bold of you to assume anyone was gonna forgive you, Reiner? LOL
Yeah, Jean beating him up is a very fair response 
“Gabi. I’m sorry about kicking you. You okay?” “I’m tougher than I might look, I’m fine.” “I’m glad. Reiner, you’re not getting an apology.” Hahahaha love every bit of this for Jean <3
The way the ep preview is a pic which looks like it’s promoting Armin and Connie’s buddy comedy film, Unhinged and Unhinged-er
I’m glad the Scouts still advocate for non-lethal force, however idealistic
“For now, just stay out of it.” Annie and Reiner said: Our bad for destroying your homeland <3 We will kill your friends so you don’t have to; that’s teamwork! 
“Forgive me. All of you. I was... a fool. I’m sorry for my behaviour last night. We were never in the right. I deluded myself into thinking we were the good guys. I wanted to believe the evil I’d done was justified as part of some great cause.” What an absolutely rapid as hell turn-around for Magath, choking out Yelena one (1) time and hearing Gabi and Falco plead for help caused him to self-reflect? Or more likely it’s a Erwin-esque Inspire-to-Death speech
“There’s no way to avoid spilling more blood today. So please, look the other way.” “I’m not doing that. I refuse to let someone else stain their hands in my place.” Armin said: We can murder our OWN friends, thank you very much, Magath
“You won’t make your world any less violent by making it smaller.” Lady Azumabito having some of the realest dialogue of any character
“In any world, it’s important to understand our place [...] This [island] is the world now. You need to recognize your place in it.” Floch said: Have you heard of racism? I have reinvented it 
You see? This is why we don’t need two Flochs. One is already too much
Floch has never said anything worthwhile in his whole damn life. Get got Floch. I don’t have a lot of faith in Armin’s plan, but if Floch dies, that’s probably a win for everyone 
Fully didn’t realize Daz, Scout who loved to cry about how he was going to die, was still alive. I imagine not for long
Update from 8 mins later: RIP Daz and Samuel 
“We’re with you. Eren has to finish the job or this island is doomed.” Armin. This is the best plan your huge brain could come up with? Connie has rubbed off on you in a bad way 
It’s a good thing being shot through the face cannot kill Armin atm
Better to have tried and failed at a non-violent solution, I guess
There go the last crumbling threads of Connie and Armin’s mental health
How did Floch NOT die at point blank range of two Titans transforming? Proximity to one transformation was enough to kill Colt! Unbelievable
Well, he got his about 15 minutes later, so there we go
This entire season is just a glorified trolley problem, huh? 
“Violence will always be part of human existence. Won’t it, Captain?” Levi looks exhausted. Me too, man
Falco has really handled being in charge of one of the world’s only nine sentient biological weapons as best he could for being 12. He’s trying his best to help
SHADIS!!!!!!! I was curious who took out the reinforcement train
“Last chance for you to take a swim.” “No. I’ll stay. I’ve been looking for a good end to this life.” Shadis said: I must die in the most dramatic way possible
“It’s far too late, but I’ve finally realized how happy I would’ve been if those kids could’ve led normal lives.” Magath is the only adult in this show ever to admit that having child soldiers is bad LMAO:
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I’ll hand it to Shadis and Magath, that was a pretty cool way to die
Though Magath’s comment about Shadis being remembered as a hero doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering he was about to explode any and all witnesses to Shadis being there 
Annie taking the inevitable loss of Liberio the hardest (unsurprising as everyone else there has lived through the hell of the past four years, while Annie was quite literally frozen in time, regardless of physical aging)
“I don’t want to fight anymore. Not with any of you. Not even with Eren.” Oh, Annie
“It could be that he’s always been like this inside. But if this is the real Eren Jaeger, what did I see in him, that made me keep him so close?” A question we’ve all perhaps been wondering, Mikasa 
“They’ll try to feed the car carrots if they manage to catch it.” “Hahah, give them more credit than tha—Wait, are they buying carrots?” I appreciate that we get this reprieve after all of the violence
Also I haven’t said much about Onyankopon because he’s normal and nice, but I do enjoy him 
“Well, look at that another enemy immigrant.” To be clear, this show DOES feel like it’s hate-criming me but it seems redundant to discuss that when they’re in the middle of a [LOUD FORGORN NOISE]
LMAO @ Levi being the one to cause the scene after his snark
“You’ve come to make it known that the people of Paradis wish to coexist in peace?” Well, that plan didn’t go very well, it seems
“Mikasa, what am I to you?” Eren said: It is time to talk about the unspoken crush you’ve had on me for 9 years, Mikasa
Hahaha good for the 104th cadets, getting to party and let loose with one another like actual teens for once. Also the way that Mikasa, Eren, Armin and Jean are laid out in the centre does pull at my heartstrings:
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“What If I’d given him a different answer? Would we still be in this situation right now?” Mikasa, I don’t think romance would’ve fixed Eren
Eren would literally rather kill everyone on the planet than make Historia become a Titan and have children for the military’s sake. Chivalry is not dead I guess, unlike everyone else on the planet
I can’t believe Eren floated this plan by Historia!! Replacing one burden with an even heavier burden 
“There are straightforward explanations for all the behaviours you’re describing, that have nothing to do with genetics or conditioning. [Mikasa] doesn’t slaughter Titans out of some inborn compulsion to keep you alive. She does it because she adores you.” LOL @ Zeke having to be the one who explains this to Eren. The closest he ever comes to actually being a big brother
Now that I’m thinking about it: Where the hell is Zeke? He seems nigh unkillable, are we saying that Eren’s transformation did him in? No body, no death
“That’s what I need. For them to live long and happy lives.” 1) Did you really think, knowing your friends, that any of them would be happy with you killing everyone? 2) Armin is on a timeline just like you, so if we have to take the 13-years-since-Titan-inheritance to live at face value (Idk that I do. I do think it’s something they could lie about), he’s also got less than ten years to live and 3) Doing cruel things out of love does not make them any less cruel!!
Can I just say a big fuckin hoo boy to Eren’s whole life 
Their vaguely-brown accents have gotten a lot worse since that first battle with Marley LMAO. 3/10, hire a brown person 
“I imagine, we learn that our wish isn’t possible. We never find a way to save Paradis.” My name’s Eren Jaeger and I was born with the gift of self-fulfilling prophecy
This genuinely is sickening to watch. What’s the fucking point 
Of course Eren is killing his and Zeke’s grandparents. Why not?
“It’s weird how at ease I feel,” said Armin to Annie, as if it were not kind of a dick thing to say whilst her hometown was being trampled
“What I wanted was to see you.” Armin said: It’s time to talk about MY unspoken crush I’ve had on Annie for the past 4 and a half years!!
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“Good is just what people call people who help them.” Armin really dropping some of his most compelling moral philosophy mid-confession
“So when did this start?” “When did what start?” It is SOOOOO funny that they’re choosing to address the romance angle between Annie and Armin NOW, when the whole fucking world is being brutally, unforgivably murdered. YOU COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS, LIKE, A COUPLE OF EPISODES AGO
Are Yelena and Pieck the same voice actress because they both have a mild lisp like they’re talking around a retainer
“Even trying to say sorry feels presumptuous.” It is, Reiner! You’re learning something. Perhaps, like 10 years too late, but still!
Annie hugging Reiner goodbye even after acknowledging he’s the one who started all this. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
It’s very kind of Team Save the World to all be so understanding of the fact Annie no longer has any desire to fight
Floch said: I would like to be a problem one last time before I mega-die
“Armin Arlert. As of now I appoint you 15th commander of the Scout Regiment.” Hange said: I volunteer as next for mega-death!!!!
Levi scout-saluting Hange on her heart instead of his.... Ahhhhhhhh
Hange joining all the fallen Scouts in what seems like a very chill afterlife. Good for her
“Killing Zeke should end the Rumbling.” Ah, apparently Zeke is somewhere in his little brother’s Titan body like an extremely fucked up babushka doll. Or a tick
“He died cursing my name. Calling me a traitor, while I told myself I was saving the world. Was it the same? For your team? You, Bertholdt and Annie. Is this what it felt like?” It is also extremely funny that whenever someone does something really terrible to a huge group of people they look at Reiner and go, ‘Is this what it’s like to be you?’ and he goes, ‘Yeah. :(’
It’s also a callback to when he and Bertholdt were Connie’s dads. Shout-out to a less complicated time
“It’s like he wants to find how we’re going to respond to what he’s done.” 
Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha
Deciding the appropriate judgment for committing a pre-emptive massacre against a huge group of people is having your loved one(s) beat your ass
The fact that Eren’s friends are STILL trying to talk him down. God. It is so much more than he deserves:
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“But from you, I will take nothing.” Except most of the buildings on our island, the Scout leadership’s influence over the government, the fellow recruits I have radicalized for my cause, at least two of our closest friends who died as a direct result of my actions, every friend you made in Liberio, your sense of personal agency over the future, any hope you had for peace, and any remnants of sanity that you have left
“You will only stop my advance when you stop me from breathing. And you are free to try.” Eren said: We interrupt this plane ride for a message from our Founder. Hey besties, please beat me to death!
“They told us back in training that the Female Titan can manifest the abilities of the rest of the nine by taking in parts of their bodies.” OHHHHH so THAT’S why Annie can scream Titans to do stuff. I still think she could be descended from royalty, but this does explain it in part
Hmmm is Zeke’s spinal fluid why Falco had the memory of flying around with swords in his hands? A pre-transformation memory from Zeke? I had wondered if it was from Cadet Ymir 
Turns out Annie’s father is NOT dead, nor are any of the immediate family of the other Marleyan Warriors. Instead, they’re probably going to die very shortly
“We cultivated hate. Nurtured our resentments. Let ourselves believe that could save us. And what came of our failings, we simply dumped onto the ‘Island of Devils.’ This is the result. Those failings gave rise to the monster you see. And it’s marching our hatred back upon us.” General Muller said: Turns out, oppressing people for their ethnic heritage is BAD! Who knew!!!!
All the Marley Eldian parents being like. My bad for inflicting generational trauma onto my children, xoxo
Is Zeke straight up throwing LIGHTNING NOW? Zeke has chidori? What is going ON
“The forces of Paradis are trying to end the Rumbling.” Oh HELL YEAH they are
I’m going to be real honest with you, I am incredibly attached to most of the remaining Team Save the World, so when some or even most of them inevitably die, I will cry. Or be sick. Or both
“Exactly one minute from now, I’ll blast these bones apart.” Armin preparing to kill his best friend to save everyone else. Awful
EREN JUST SWALLOWING HIS BEST FRIEND WHOLE INTO THE FUCKED UP BABUSHKA DOLL WITHOUT HESITATION???? WHAT?????????
“He’s being restrained, but he’s not hurt. The problem, is that he was whisked off towards Eren’s ass.” What a thing to say at a time like this, Levi
“Theses husks are the people who bore the Power of the Nine before us. I don’t know if their minds are still in there or not. But I’m betting the Founding Titan has the ability to resurrect them as many times as it needs to.” Eren said: Hey besties, please fight these Big Fucking Skeleton Ghosts of Your Ancestors and Friends
I suppose the friends part disproportionately affects Reiner, since he was closest to the most former Titans (Marcel, Porco, on top of them all being friends with Bertholdt)
Bertholdt crying in Armin’s Founder Ymir-Induced Suffocation Scape implies the former Titans are CONSCIOUS of being used to hurt their friends and commit gen-[GUNSHOT NOISE]? HATE THAT
“Do you still think we can win?” “Nope. But I don’t care. I wanna fight to the bitter end.” I am in love with you, Jean Kirschtein 
“You’re kinda in the way, Mikasa!” ANNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Colour me bananas, but if Falco (I see why they named his character that now) was so certain he could turn into a Bird Titan, why’d he have to do it ON the boat. Couldn’t HE have been on one of the little lifeboats, transforming in the water and swooping away? 
“Hang on, where’s Arm—I mean, where’s Pieck?” Annie, you’re allowed to care that Armin’s alive, it’s not weird HAHAHAHAH. It’s weirder that you said it that way
“Your childhood friends sure have a way of getting themselves captured,” said Annie, as if she had not been the first person to capture them 
“Damn it. I had a long list of things to tell that dumbass off about.” This is Levi saying how much he loves Eren and doesn’t want to kill him :(
Gjgkgkjgjgjg Annie’s advice to Mikasa about how to deal with their comrades killing the man Mikasa loves: Try not to think about it
“That one. Isn’t it an okapi?” “What the hell’s an okapi?” I too would like to know what an okapi is, Mikasa
“Erwin, I didn’t choose you, and I don’t regret that. I’m entrusting the future with the same look in his eyes as all of you.” I LOVE YOU, LEVI, AND I LOVE YOU ARMIN
The subsequent cut to Armin screaming at his inanimate body about how much he hates it and himself. This show is exhausting
“I should be in a Titan’s mouth right now, so how do I know what’s happening to my friends?” This is a question I also had Armin, but I wasn’t really expecting an answer
“You still seek to multiply? Why? Is continuing the species really that important to you?” Zeke said: Actually, y’all are saving the world because you wanna fuck (Zeke and Yelena fight over who projects a more insane motivation onto the Scouts)
“This strange, lovely thought popped into my head. I felt like maybe I’d been born to race Mikasa and Eren up that hill.” Oh, Armin
Armin seeing this object in the paths as a leaf that reminds him of Mikasa and Eren while Zeke sees it as a baseball him and Ksaver played with. Everything always comes back to baseball and absent fathers
Is the payoff for Armin being Babushka'd for a solid thirty minutes going to be that he’s going to convert all of these Former Titans in Purgatory (aka the Paths) to stop being Eren’s Skeleton Ghost Army? Incredible 
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I was wondering when Cadet Ymir was going to make an appearance. Good for her! 
I also appreciate that Eren’s own (skeleton ghost) father is among the people actively fighting against him. PARENTING 
Zeke, as he gets decapitated, probably: See, I CAN be helpful!
“The rumbling just stopped.” THEN WHYYYY are there 45 more minutes in the episode!!!!!!!!! What are you going to do!!!!!!
I would like an explanation on what the glowing-worm-spine-thing that gives people Titan powers is. An alien? A sea creature? A really vengeful spirit? Explain!!!!
“If [the Titan Worm] survived that explosion point-blank, we can’t kill it. The one we should target is Eren. This nightmare won’t end until we take him down.” To be fair, Levi, you just had Armin try to explode Eren too, so can you really kill him?
“Could this be the same gas they used on Ragako village?” “Mikasa, Pieck, get on Falco, we need to leave. Cause only Ackermanns and Titan wielders are immune, remember?” OH MY GOD THEY’RE GOING TO TURN JEAN AND CONNIE INTO TITANS. I KNEW THIS BATTLE WASN’T GOING TO PASS WITHOUT KILLING SCOUTS, BUT OH MY GOD. JEAN. I AM CRYING, THIS IS THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY HE COULD DIE. THE WAY ALL OF THESE PEOPLE’S FAMILIES COULD DIE. I HATE THIS. I AM SICK. 
“You’re gonna live without me for a long time. So forget you knew me. Forget, and be free.” I don’t care about this Eren-isn’t-a-mass-murderer fantasy sequence. Any remaining energy I had for this narrative died with Jean
Mikasa kissing Eren AFTER decapitating him is an incredibly weird way to end this battle. Why write this show? What was the point?
HKFHKJFHKFJHFKJHF not them having Eren appear as a child and say sorry for the mass murder!!!! What kinda Naruto behaviour is this!!!
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“So you did all that to push us away, huh? To make us turn against you and become the heroes who prevent the annihilation of the human race by killing you.” “You got it. Every human left outside of the walls will owe you a debt of gratitude.” This is the most backwards ass, stupid ass plan I’ve ever heard of. I can’t believe THIS is the excuse for everything I’ve had to witness. 
Eren Jaeger 🤝 Itachi Uchiha
If I do ALLLLLL the murders, no one will think badly of my fellow people, even though I am one of those people
“You’re hoping we can all become like the Tybur family and protect Paradis from reprisal.” Except for Jean and Connie who are mega-dead, and Annie, Armin, Reiner and Pieck, who will presumably all die in less than ten years, Falco who has thirteen years left, which leaves Levi and Mikasa to stand for their whole island? 
“Founder Ymir, she loved King Fritz.” Of course, who doesn’t love someone who murdered their parents, enslaved them, ripped out their tongue and then [redacted] them and had their kids [LOUD HONK OF A CLOWN CAR]
The way they’re cycling through Eren and Armin’s ages. It does hurt me 
“The past and future, it’s all happening at once. And so, I had no choice That day, in that moment, Bertholdt would’ve died, but he had to live, so I sent it away from him and towards mom.” So, not only are you saying that Eren was retroactively controlling Titans from the wall’s breach, but also that HE is responsible for his mum getting eaten? Why does Eren have to be responsible for everything? Can’t things be also Reiner and Bertholdt’s fault?
“You’re a selfish heartbreaker, and I hope she does forget about you because she deserves to be happy!” Sweet of Armin, but I can’t take this seriously inside of everything that’s happened 
INSANE OF ARMIN TO BE MORE MAD ABOUT EREN DISREGARDING MIKASA’S FEELINGS THAN HE IS ABOUT THE GENOC!DE. Armin said: Two can play at the unrelentingly crazy takes on what chivalry means, Eren!
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“But hey, the good news is, I know of one charming young fella she’s pretty close to already.” You mean Jean, whom Eren’s worm ally Titan-murdered??????
[Sobbing] “No. That’d break my heart. I don’t want her to find someone else. I want to be her one and only love! Even she does get over me, I think it should take her ten years at least!” “Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d say something that pathetic.” HAHAHAHAHA I genuinely just can’t absorb Eren saying this dialogue as true, because it feels so stupid and out-of-character, however, Armin’s response is VERY funny
“Twenty-percent of humanity is all that you manage to save. It’s been determined.” “’Been determined?’ But you determined it. You’re the one who kills them!” Eren said: [Count Frollo voice] It’s not my fault, it’s in God’s plan
“I trampled the world because I wanted it.” This is like, the third set of motivations Eren’s played his hand at. When will we land on one that sticks?
“Why? Why did it turn out this way? I finally know. Because I’m an idiot. I’m nothing more than a garden-variety idiot who got his hands on power. That’s why this is the only resolution I can bring about.” I guess this is motivation #4
“You’ll be joining me? Where?” [Pleasantly] “Assuming it exists, in hell.” Armin’s dialogue is so unrivaled in how crazy it is, I almost admire it
“Yeah. Look for me in hell. I’ll be waiting.” “Right. We’ll be together, for all time.” This is the opposite of meet me in gay heaven energy. Meet me in White Boy Hell:
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God. Armin’s scream when he sees Eren is dead. Unbearable
“He said that you would make a choice, and that in the end it would cause the Power of the Titans to be erased from this world.” JEAN AND CONNIE AND GABI ALIVE? ARMIN AND REINER AND ANNIE AND FALCO STAYING ALIVE? ALSO WHY WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION BEFORE? Finally, a reason for all of this. The longest, most chaotic, worst path to a reason, but a reason nonetheless 
Eren being like, surprise!!! Here is my post-mass-murder voicemail about how much I love you all, besties! Except you, Pieck, I don’t know you. And everyone’s just like, ‘Aw, I missed him!’
I was worried for a moment that Levi seeing the fallen Scouts was an indication he was dying, but it seems like it’s some kind of goodbye present from Eren
“My name is Armin Arlert. And I killed Eren Jaeger. I stopped the Attack Titan and ended the rumbling.” Armin said: I am not afraid to take credit for the murder of my best friend
“All this time it was you, peeking into my head.” Mikasa’s headaches are actually Maternity-TSD from Founder Ymir? Sure, why not
I suppose it would be unrealistic if the fraction of people alive DIDN’T want to retaliate against the Island. What else could you expect? 
“But if we must fight, let it be for an end to fighting.” Historia finally gets some agency after her Farm Pregnancy Arc LMAO
“You know, it’s a real shame your life got longer, Reiner.” HAHAHA Jean. This is the kind of bullshit I missed 
HAAHAHAHAHAH ARMIN, I see you and Annie haven’t gotten any better at communicating:
Armin: Don’t forget that we’re Scout Regiment. We’re a bunch of dreamers who don’t know when to quit.
Annie: But I was in the Military Police. 
Armin, ignoring her: Anyway—
“After trying to kill each other again and again, we put down our weapons and began to call for peace.” I suppose this is the most tolerable possible resolution to an incredibly deranged show
I can’t believe this series has beaten me down so hard with its bare fists that I feel like 80% of the world dying is not the worst outcome. That is OBJECTIVELY AWFUL. I guess it helps that there’s no death/fighting scenes for last third of this episode. It’s just been so unbearable that if I’m not crying or actively nauseous, it’s some kind of victory. What a horrible show
Are we suggesting Eren has been reincarnated as a bird? Sure, fitting for a wings-of-freedom Scout metaphor moment, I suppose!
I’m not going to comment on the mid-credits scenes. This show has put me through enough. I have followed it through to its conclusion, and its conclusion was as brutal and absurd as the rest of it. Goodnight! 
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salxenia · 5 months
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"I feel like the vibes of the world have just gotten more off in the past few years, something big is gonna happen bc idk the stars and shit" is just the witchy, uwu hippy version of when Christians say the world is randomly going to shit because it's almost time for the rapture
So they don't have to look at all the very real life problems that are destroying humanity/the world, the patterns that people of power continue to play into for generations that continue to cause more and more problems.
Just so they can play the "omg how could this have happened, well I told you astrology said so" ignorant card when they're no longer struggling with mere first world problems but are actually dealing with the things they choose to ignore on TV and in the news, and no ethereal, otherworldly being has come to save them, fix them, or helped them conquer capitalism and fascism while they sit on their ass eating potato chips and going "yeah, karma and stuff". Bc gods forbid you actually acknowledge why life is ass, you'd rather make the situation worse by playing so far into ignorance that you're fooling and confusing everyone else and now everyone is convinced it's not bc of an imbalance of power, or rich people, it's only goddamn PLUTO.
"Somehow" everything was fine and just had "suspiciously dark vibes" and then "suddenly" it turned to shit. It's not like the people in the world have fucking raised their red flags and screamed what the issues have all been for years and y'all have just been like "life is such a mystery. Everything just FEELS more depressing and bad and awful but I'm not sure why. Anyway let me drink my microplastics in my overpriced house that I always make late payments on bc my job pays me 9 bucks an hour, while I stare across the street at the abandoned buildings that they're going to bulldoze because some homeless kids broke into it for shelter, while I contemplate on why everything is so depressing".
And it doesn't mean you can't spiritually believe in x or y thing, and also that fascism is bad. You can be like "ah yes the Pluto thing is warning us that if we don't fix this situation right now, that I'm aware is an issue, then we're absolutely fucked in the worst possible scenario and it'll up-end our entire life whether we want it to or not, but it'll be even worse for fucking around and finding out". Like spirituality is pretty much a tool to help you understand that if y'all don't figure out how to fix x thing, z thing is going to happen, and it'll be a lot more of a rough lesson than y thing.
Spirituality is NOT "idk, I know X thing is bad but Z thing is also happening and I believe it's because the stars foretold this would happen and- oh NOOOO, you mean Z and X thing were related to each other this whole time, and if I had helped to prevent, repair, or prepare for X, then Y would have happened instead, because Y and Z were both an option based on how there's ALWAYS a difference between letting something happen by choosing to be ignorant to it, and actively working to fix the situation or working around the situation, whaaaaat??"
Y'all just politically lazy and using spirituality as a reason to not care.
(And it's used in the same way for people who are toxic and avoiding self awareness as well. "somehow" the majority of people just don't like x person, for whatever reason, no matter how "nice or funny" they are, it must be written in the stars (or must be God's plan) but realistically it's because they're garbage human beings who treat people like shit every time someone gets close to them so they can't keep friends, and then they pride on scaring everyone else away bc "they hate people" by being nasty, rude, cold, evasive, etc, and their face shows how little they care about anybody around them, but yeah its because they're an Aries with a Scorpio moon that has people not liking their vibes).
Edit: and y'all be saying it to try and be the most woke and high vibrational person ever but it's actually the worst thing to say! "I feel like somehow the world just feels darker and more depressing" well clearly you're so far out of the loop for understanding and listening to the pain of your fellow humans that you genuinely think everything is a fucking mystery! Not to mention the depression of going through shit is something every generation goes through, why the fuck do you think boomers are cranky, bitter, and miserable??? They just lack the awareness to be politically educated and why they chalk everything up to Jesus or Satan- oh yeah, like you do with other things! Bc y'all don't sit with the problems of the world and y'all only feel like fixing it when there's irreparable damage that you can't deny, just like every-fucking-body else!
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ismoke2much · 6 months
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I guess my current diet and therefore the stuff I'll post is pretty one sided. I mostly just eat different variations of spinach salad lol. Salad was always my safe food. I'm not at the same stage i used to be but it was the only thing i allowed myself to eat. I had sworn off carbs long before but i used to eat warm food sometimes. Until i couldn't anymore. I don't know why but anything cooked scared me. Especially if it was warm. I couldn't eat warm food at all. If i did eat anything cooked it had to be part of a salad.
Nowadays i don't really have the time or energy to actually cook food for myself. My needs aren't worth that effort. Plus i need to lose weight anyways. Making a salad once a day with raw ingredients is just enough preparation time to satisfy my need of cooking (i love cooking) without being overwhelming. And it just eases my mind if i stick with raw vegetables. Also i don't have to clean as much which is always a plus.
The problem is that fresh ingredients are quite expensive rn. Well more expensive rhan living off instant ramen. But it satisfies the little hunger feeling i have left much better and i don't feel as guilty eating. But i do struggle. Inflation is going up and i don't have much money. The money i do have left after paying rent i mostly spend on weed and energy drinks.
I'm gonna get a job soon so I'll have a bit more money. But apparently they eat together there. Pretty much on most days they have lunch and dinner together. I'm scared of that. I just started losing weight and reducing my hunger and cravings again. I don't want to lose that process. And i don't wanna gain even more weight just bc i don't have any self control. But i also can't let anyone notice. I don't want anyone to intervene this time. Not until I'm ready to get better again. For now i just wanna waste away a bit. Get skinny again. Even tho i know I'll never see it in the mirror. I don't feel good now that I've started to fill out my clothes again.
I struggle between getting better and staying sick. I'm not worth getting better but I'm not actively suicidal anymore either. If i continue this path I'm sure I'll destroy my body for real this time. I wish i could wake up from this nightmare of a life lol
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benevadeca · 2 years
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I saw la casa lobo and AHHHH and i wrote down my thoughts as i was watching so that's what's under the cut basically
Her playing house with the pigs but in a way that while well-intended is deeply childish and also grows to mimick (implied) existing power dynamics bc it's what she has to base her interactions with them off of?
Her saying she knows they won't speak but it nonetheless frustrates her because of all the time she's spent in her humanization project (phone kept trying to autocorrect to humanitarian and while that has implications anyway)
Had a moment of oh this is weird racism with German missionaries / white people in general relative to the native Chilean general population?
Like white paternalism. But then I thought about Maria and her relationship with the voice and how her maybe identifying and trying to humanize the pigs is sort of related to the ways she's been dehumanized by her abuser. So she identifies with these creatures and wants to do better by them, humanize them, civilize them, bring them into the light.
Continuing question of "who is the wolf" and the multiplicity of various answers I've had so far are the wolf is the abuser, the wolf is the house, and the abuser is the house itself caging her? A bit simplistic though.
The wolf is the house is Maria, how at the beginning Maria is initially painted onto the house, only becomes 3D afterwards which is what allows her to meet the pigs,
And how later it's the abusers 👁 that's painted onto the set?
Maria closing all the windows and doors before deciding to give them honey, which is both her becoming more insular and close-minded due to emotional duress but also her falling back to the teachings of her insular (racist) upbringing?
Ana and Pedro were born "christmas night" ie: were only born after Maria gave them clothing ie: humanity? or rather dignity i guess. Which is very a western "look how we civilized these barbarians" cultural mythos
I love how the animation shows the set and puppets constantly being made and destroyed and remade, very visually jarring but also adds to the metaphor of like. The way the house is like a cocoon (esp the scene with tape all around the walls and house itself) or a closed-space. The way a lot of the scenes are films like in reverse bc how else would you manage to un-destroy these props etc is both a fun visual technique, adds to the jarring "not rightness" of the atmosphere, and again the kind of theme of being stuck in place and just recreating the same scene in your mind repeatedly. different iterations on a theme.
After they gain speech it's just an echo-chamber of Maria's desires. Also the reveal that before leaving the colony she was only interested in the livestock and that she'd sneak away to play Mother with the calves and piglets. Something something play as a reflection of the lack of control in her life that when gone unchecked becomes a modicum through which she emulates the cycle of abuse
"Mirror on the wall, who has the fairest house of all" VERY fun scene but brain go brr
The way the things in the house are shown at this later stage as being built up from tape? As opposed to earlier when it was just the food i think that had that artificialness to it. Also the walls of the house itself sort of coming alive and remodeling itself.
Also Ana's eyes don't become blue? HRMMM.
"Maria doesn't listen to me anymore. But I know you do" BRO. The narrator fucking speaking to the audience GOT me idk what it got from me but it got it.
"Same rights. Why privledges?" HM relevant plus the themes of. a kind of maldaptive duty of care and dependence and helplessness etc etc.
Them running out of food and I recall the line "don't worry I won't eat you" from th beginning like. #OneFear. and lo and behold.
wow the reversal from like, maria as a larger than life painting on the wall to the kid's faces.
UOGH. the wolf as the woods as trees that devor as the house made of wood as something inside of you while you are inside of it. gotta go lie down and start eating housing lumber
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isthisyoursnack · 2 years
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January + February 2021
Bruises on both knees From our last night together I fucked you on the floor of our empty apartment  I love them The last trace of you  On my body 
*
What if I could find someone  What if someone exists around whom I feel comfortable, confident, fulfilled, energized, calm, embodied, laughing, joyous, replete  What if I could be someone What if I was someone who did not seal off parts of themsevles, stored like no-touch dolls on a shelf, too loud and shining and beautiful to participate in everyday life - what if I didn’t hide or amputate my soft artichoke heart around this person
What if I kept it inside of me and shined it upon them on occasion, opening my eyes and locking them with theirs and saying, I have a gift for you, and smiling, and presenting it to them whole. 
when do u hold back  (always)  i always edit, refine, destroy what i deem “imperfect” “unfinished” just like the culture taught me 
*
I just felt Like a fucking violet In his arms And I liked that Ok?????
*
i hold onto these stories and beings i hold onto them in my mouth like jewel teeth i suck them dry like a summer popsicle so they’re just ice and the cherry red trickles down my throat and thru my blood And i cackle all the way to the post office
*
Rupture One coyote, loping Two long hares Sixteen hot pink roses on the ground  One confederate flag down the street  Wearing magic shoes from liz Wearing the hat you tried to throw away Wearing the jacket you gave to me, after stealing it from your sister's ex-boyfriend Now I am your ex-girlfriend  I demanded you let me be your only one Your only ex-girlfriend If I can’t be your girlfriend & I am vibrantly alone again Just as I wanted In the desert, without you  Braindead and heartbroke and knowing this is right That nature abhors a vacuum  Fills it right up  That good things come to me when I have space for them  That I needed to do allll that, to get to this That you were the only one to do it with  This is right
I am not happy  Per se  I am aching But I am also breathing  And still eating chips with white wine Just like when I met you.
I wish we’d balled out on a hotel room at Hannah’s wedding I wish we’d actually made it out to dinner all those times we fought instead I feel so dumb  Like I just  Why couldn’t I just Why couldn’t it just have been different But that wasn’t the thing with you The thing with you Was that I was totally myself As myself as myself could be And you taught me  That myself was chill And I didn’t need to feel bad about watching tv and ordering in and having a body  We were enough, for awhile and we still are
All the dildos I have  Still and sparkling Are from you. my pleasure teacher My gift.
*
i do what my mom does when she loves someone empties herself
*
I have seen the most mediocre men of my generation  Start businesses under the premise that  Nothing and no one need ever lie fallow  everything can be negotiated for less humans are problems to be optimized  as they remodel one of their homes.
*
All my friends have mortgages and babies You hear people say this but you don’t think about what it means Bc everyone has them But actually not everyone does? Like some people DREAM of them Some of us DREAM of pledging money WE DON'T HAVE so that we can sleep somewhere nice 
A mortgage That's what a mortgage is
As a woman you succumb to potions They clutter your bedside It's not all bad, ritual adornment It's prayer, too. show yourself u love yourself by trying to change yourself No I mean Show your self you love yourself by giving yourself gifts I mean Render visible the alchemical process in which u participate, the experiences you contractually Agree to enter and void your body N soul.
Wht am I doing now? - Having an art practice Wht about space and time? - What if it wasn’t
Wht if the task at hand is just Get to know who you are When you’re not Watching Superstore. set up the  Time to receive yourself Believe in that, again For the first time Still.
I’m watching films of desire I’m making lists of potential loves Earmarking them for 3 months from now When I'm readier I’m not writing I’m not meditating  I’m not investing in my practice Or practicing it I’m daydreaming I’m planting seeds I’m making space About my life That’s my art  It’s always been 
*
All these Movies about Women trynna be  Better  Than they are And why? 
All these men satisfied  They just want a girl 
I miss the story of us  Of your besottement Once it was  Now it’s not This doesn't read sad But it feels it.
I have always wanted Someone who says to me, don’t worry about nothin’ Someone to whom I can say it back 
*
There were the girls who donated their hair, who grew it as long as they could - its own reward in itself - and then went to Chiapas for the summer to build houses, and at some point (before, in anticipation of the heat? After, to symbolize the intense, internal change?) they’d cut it off, and when you asked them about it, they’d say, I donated it.
Because they’d been trained early on to understand their value was firmly rooted in their body, their ability to give it away to someone who needs it more than they do.
*
I braided my hair thinking of you I came thinking of you And you And you I’m gonna put a baby inside of you You growl in my head as I moan But actually U live with your girlfriend in bay ridge And I’m listening to lyrics you wrote about me 4 years ago sending money to your charitable cause on the internet Like all your other exes
Is this because I never mourned you in full? Is this because You’re The One? Is this because I’m fixating on a concept To buoy me through this endless winter alone?
The thing has always been That when I see you in my dreams I know we are meeting in the ether
Is this a sort of significance, and is it about us? Or is it something I’m supposed to move through 
*
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sunphroggy · 3 years
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alright I have an au idea that im about to badly explain but it's a little strange so stick with me.
I call it: 'The Parent Trap but Opposite' au
So picture this: Tommy is Phil's only child, right. His mother died in childbirth so for his entire eight years of life its just been him and Phil. And that's fine, that's great, he loves it. Tommy doesn't want another addition to the family, it would only screw everything up.
That being said, Phil is lonely. Don't get him wrong, he loves his son and loves spending time with him, but he misses the feeling of being in love. He misses his wife.
Enter, Kristen.
They meet on a blind date, set up by a friend from Phil's work, and hit it off instantly. Months pass and Phil wants to propose.
One problem though. He hasnt told Tommy about it. He hasn't even introduced Kristen to him.
So what better way to merge both families that a holiday?
(I should probably say here that Kristen also has children. Take a wild guess who they are.)
Tommy is all for a holiday. Two weeks at a fancy ass hotel with room service, an arcade and a pool? Sign him up!
That is until, he finds out that Kristen and her boys will be joining them.
Enter, Wilbur and Techno.
(They're about fourteen. Their parents are divorced and, unlike Tommy, they knew Kristen was seeing Phil. They alse know that Phil is gonna propose - well, it's just a hunch)
Phil, god bless him, tries his hardest to get Tommy to warm up to Kristen, Wilbur and Techno. He plans all these activities and takes them all shopping, to the beach, to waterparks ect. But Tommy just won't take to them; he doesn't mind Kristen but Wilbur and Techno are weird, they keep making these cryptic comments about how they're going to be seeing eachother a lot in the future and Tommy just does not understand.
That is, until they decide to let Tommy in on the obvious.
Tommy, as expected, is in denial. Because there's no way his dad would do something like that without telling him first. Besides, Phil doesn't need to get married, they're perfectly happy just the two of them.
There's just no way.
Right?
Wrong.
Because Tommy is a curious little shit and he ransacks his and Phil's hotel room in search for the ring. He doesn't find it, of course, because Phil is used to Tommy's little raccoon tactics and hid it properly. But when he comes back from dinner with Kristen to a destroyed room and a confused Tommy, he decides to tell him the truth.
Needless to say Tommy has a fit. One moment, he's happy; just him and dad, living life. And then this lady and her shitty sons come along and fucks that up
(I imagine the conversation being something like:
Phil: Yeah im gonna propose Kristen
Tommy, inhaling deeply: *screams*
And then it would proceed to reinact that once scene from Steven universe with ruby and sapphire like-
phil: he'll eventually tire himself out :'D
Tommy, making even more of a mess than he already has: that's what you think! I am an eternal flame baby!! >:(
Yeah.)
Tommy, ever the drama queen, storms to Wilbur and Techno - who are like "we told you so :/" - and the three of them (because Techno and Wilbur also do not want this little racoon gremlin hybrid in their home either) team up and plan to ruin the proposal. The only problem, they don't know when Phil is gonna actually propose.
And this...this is where the hijinks and shenanigans ensue.
They just like, constantly ruin Phil and Kristen's date nights with their dumb shit.
(I'm thinking shit like the three of them stacked on each others shoulders in a trench coat pretending to be a waiter at the hotel restaurant Phil and Kristen are eating at and constantly spilling drinks and food of them whenever it looks like Phil is about to pop the question; following them on walks under the stars, hiding in bushes with binoculars and making birds attack them; tackling Phil into the pool ect. ect. ect.)
But, plot twist, while pulling off these epic plans, the three of them...bond! Dun dun dunnnnn!!! Wilbur and Techno actually grow to like Tommy and think "Hey, maybe this kid ain't so bad" so they back out on the plans and try to convince Tommy to do the same. He won't.
(Meanwhile, Phil is just wondering why all his proposal attempts have gone so fucking wrong like???)
Anyways, fast forward. Its the last day of their holiday the two families go out for dinner. Its nice, they're having a good time, Kristen is chatting away to Tommy about Minecraft and Tommy is happy to tell her all about his favourite game. And then, Phil clears his throat.
He starts talking about Kristen and how happy he makes her, and Tommy can tell what's coming the moment Phil reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small black box. And, in a final attempt to keep the life he has, Tommy snatches the box out of Phil's hand and fucking runs.
He runs right out of the restaurant, ignoring everyone calling after him, and doesn't stop running until he's on the beach, where he hides. And he cries. He cries because his dad is gonna replace him with Techno and Wilbur, and he misses his mum even though he never met her, and because this he knows that stealing a ring and running away isn't gonna stop this proposal from happening, and because the only family dynamic he knows is going to change and he isn't ready for that. And it's just a big angst moment.
And then some fluff.
Kristen finds him hidden by the rocks, and Tommy quickly pretends he wasn't just crying bc he's a big man and shit like that. He half expects her to immediately call for Phil and then for Phil to disown him, but instead she sits with him.
She asks if he's OK and when he doesnt answer her she just goes on talking about random things as if Tommy didn't just ruin their entire holiday (about shit like how she thought the cake at the restaurant was too dry and about the stars and different constellations and she even continues asking him about minecraft) and Tommy, after a while, talks back to her.
They talk for a while, arguing about the best Minecraft block (Tommy wholeheartedly defending cobblestone like his life depends on it) until eventually Kristen asks why he did what he did. And Tommy explains everything (that can basically be summed up in "I'm scared of change")
It's just a wholesome moment really. They're just sitting behind a bunch of rocks, Tommy is spilling his guts and Kristen is just listening. And at then end of it she's there to give him a big hug.
(I imagine Tommy saying that one cliche line "please don't hurt my dad" and Kristen being like "I wouldn't dream of it" and then Tommy gives her the ring box)
But yeah, happy ending! Phil proposes to Kristen on the beach and it's all happy and nice and cool and Tommy, Techno and Wilbur watch and Techno starts crying a little bc he's so happy for his mum.
...
I came up with this last night when I couldn't sleep.
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skinnyducky · 3 years
Text
made for you // v.h.
hello.. im sorry i havent been posting. school has been keeping me busy but i wanted to post this. this idea comes from @yelenasdarling so thank you ! i recommend listening to halley’s comet by billie eilish (as well as the whole album) bc that’s the song that is being discussed in this (as well as many others), so yuh. enjoy ! and i promise i haven’t forgotten about party @ y/ns !
vinnie hacker x singer!fem!reader
Word Count: 1408, edited
WARNING: MAJOR FLUFF LUV
---------
As the year was coming to an end, so was your debut album. For months, you’d been working with the best producers, musicians, and doing endless promo for this album and within a few days, you’d be playing it for the label. Obviously because it is your first record, you’re protective over it. No one had heard it besides the people working on it. So, you were a bit nervous to let your pleading boyfriend, Vinnie, tag along to the studio with you.
It was Friday, and you two had been chilling in his room when your producer, Sarah, said she needed you to go over it before the label meeting. As you bid your goodbyes to Vinnie, informing him of the reason for your departure, he pouted. “Why can’t I come?” he nearly cried, giving you his puppy dog eyes. Because you couldn’t resist them—and you just can’t say “no” to him—you allowed him to come.
Now here the two of you were, in the studio and listening to Sarah go on and on about how long it took for her to finish mastering it. Your manager, Jen, had came too. She had to hear the album for herself also. She couldn’t have her client looking a mess in front of her bosses. Bad for business and her reputation.
“…and after an hour or two of making sure your vocals were clear, I finally finish the album.” Sarah explained. “Honestly, this is probably the best album I’ve produced in a minute, and I worked on SZA’s album.”
“That good?” Vinnie asked with a smirk, leaning against the studio door. “That’s sick. I’m ready to listen to it.”
As that sentence left Vinnie’s mouth, you felt your anxiety overcome you. “Are you sure, Sarah? There has to be some sort of adlib I need to rework or something. Can’t be ready so soon.”
“Y/n, it can’t get any better than this. This is a solid project. I should know, I spent days listening to it over and over again. Trust me, it’s ready.”
“Besides, it’s too late to rerecord now.” Jen added. “The label meeting is next Thursday, and we don’t have a week for Sarah to mix and master all over again. Once the label gives us the greenlight, if there’s anything to tweak, you can do it before you have to submit the final project. But until then, no changes and no additions.”
You sighed, nodded your head. It’s not that you were afraid of it not being perfect. You were more scared of what Vinnie would think. I mean, he’s the one who inspired the album; more than half of the songs are about him. His opinion meant everything to you, and if he didn’t like an inch of it��that would destroy you.
As you were sulking and picking at your chipped nail polish, Vinnie wandered over to you where you sat at the soundboard with Sarah. He leaned against it and smiled down at you. “What’s the matter, baby?”
“Nothing.” You sighed, keeping your head down. He scoffed and chuckled. “Y/n, you’re playing with your nail polish. You always do that when you’re upset.”
He pulled you up and took you out of your seat before sitting down himself and placing you on his lap. “Tell Santa what’s up.” He joked, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“I’m just nervous. This album means so much to me.”
“Completely understandable. It’s your first one, it should mean a lot to you.”
You shook your head. “It’s not just because of that. It’s also because it’s about you. The only reason you haven’t came with me to the studio until now is because I didn’t want you to hate anything on this, and it would kill me if you did.”
“Y/n, look at me”—you finally met his eyes for the first time—“I could never not like anything you do. Especially if it’s dedicated to me. That’s like throwing away a gift you gave me. I wouldn’t ever do that. So don’t think for a minute that I’d hate this. That’s literally impossible.”
You smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead. “You’re too good for me.”
“I know.” He laughed and turned to Sarah. “Play us the album!” He said dramatically, sending the producer into a fit of giggles.
She followed his orders and with a few clicks and the press of a button, the first song from your album rang out from the studio speakers. You watched timidly as Vinnie bobbed his head up and down as it went from track to track.
“This shit slaps!” He exclaimed as “Y/n Bossa Nova” played. He nearly about died during “Oxytocin”, claiming it to be god tier. Minutes went by until you got to the final track “Halley’s Comet”, and you were scared to play him this song.
While the other tracks were quite playful in nature, this one was different. The song was a bit cynical, but it was also like a love letter to Vinnie. Never before have you ever felt what you had with him. And at first that made you scared. But as the months went by and your relationship started to blossom, you realized he was the one for you. This was just your way of telling him that.
When it started, you looked everywhere but at Vinnie. It wasn’t just because you couldn’t bear to see the expression on his face, but also because this song was quite emotional. You didn’t want him to see you “being a little bitch” as you put it.
The sound of your soft vocals bounced off the walls and you felt Vinnie place his chin on your shoulder. His hold on you grew tighter as he swayed you two back forth. A small smile crept it’s way onto your face as you tried your best to stray away from crying.
“I’ve been loved before, but right now in this moment,” you sung, “I feel more and more like I was made for you…”
When those lyrics hit, you felt Vinnie stop swaying. Hell, you were pretty sure he had stopped breathing too. You didn’t know what to think about that; did he not like the song, is he shocked? What was he thinking and feeling? Shortly after, the song came to an end with you singing, “I think I might have fallen in love…what am I to do?”
And with that, the album finished. The room was silent, the only sound being your sniffles. Although that was broken when Sarah screamed. “Wasn’t that amazing!? Ugh, my power…I really outdid myself on this one.”
Thankfully, Jen understood the impact of that last song. “Sarah, why don’t we go get a Snickers or something from the vending machine?”
“I can’t eat anything fatty, Jen. You know this.”
Jen mouthed some profanities and threats at the woman causing her to shoot up from her chair and run out into the hallway. “We’ll leave you two alone for a minute.” Jen smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.
Neither of you or Vinnie spoke and that somewhat was comforting. However, part of it made you feel insecure about the album, “Halley’s Comet” in specific. Out of all the songs, that’s the one you wanted him to like the most.
The silence soon grew uncomfortable, so you decided to be the first to speak. “Well, that was the album. What’d you think?”
He opened his mouth, but it was obviously he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I-I don’t know how to even put it in words.”
“That bad?” You sighed.
“No, never.” He laughed. “It was beautiful, all of it really. And that last song, that was amazing.”
You pursed your lips, hiding the grin wanting to break free. “You think so?”
“Yeah, it was definitely one of my favorites. To know I had that much of an impact on you, it’s really sweet. I didn’t think I could simp for you any harder than I do now.”
“Shut up!” you laughed, slapping his shoulder.
“It’s the truth!” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “I love you, Y/n. I really do.”
“I love you too.” And with that, he laid a sweet and gentle kiss on your lips.
Pulling back, he said, “Oh and just so you know, I agree with you.”
“On what?”
“You were definitely made for me.”
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dirtycccat · 3 years
Text
the demon bros+ undateables showing their love
thought about this for 5 min then had to write it out so enjoy
lucifer
first off you notice he treats you differently
and by differently i mean like you’re his favorite child  sibling
you get away with anything??? and he’s softer with you than with the others (which is canon)
then you see that?? he keeps buying you stuff you said you wanted when he was present
and you’re ofc impressed
but you’re more impressed by how open he’s around you
he’ll leave most of his walls down around  you
which means you’ll get to experience unfiltered lucifer
he’ll laugh around you more, make dumb dad jokes, nap with his head in your lap, complain drunkenly about his work and bros, give you sloppy cheeks and forehead kisses
you find it rly cute though
if you’re in the human world he’ll 100% take this chance to send you beautifully written letters asking you how you are and leaving some verses that reminded him of you on the back like a 19th century vampire
“dear mc, how is your life? mine is filled with woe and unease since i do not  have the light of my life around anymore...anyway here’s a poem about being horny and alone by a 18th century romantic author hope to see you soon, xoxo lucifer”
you try to respond in the same way and send him memes on the back instead of  poetry (or real poetry depends on your mood)
mammon
protective of you 100% will throw hands with anyone that even glances weirdly your way
but also wants to show you off? like look at this human!!! this is MY human!!!
gives you random thoughtful gifts that reminded him of you
wants to be around you 24/7 so he invites you to all the events that he thinks you’ll like
you wanna party? perfect. you wanna go on a weird ghost stories tour around the city? cool. you wanna waltz in one of those old people parties? he’s already reserved two tickets. you just wanna lay around and nap? he’s already on your lap.
it doesn’t matter if you’re in a romantic relationship or not this man WILL serenade you outside your window
rapunzel style with an acoustic guitar or with a boombox like a rebel 80s kid
anyway here’s toxic by britney spears babe this is for YOU
levi
considers you his bff ofc
but also at first he’s still really awkward around you and doesn’t really know what to do for you and feels bad thinking only you do things for him
until you reassure him you enjoy just being around him so it’s fine
he blushes and starts inviting you more to his room to game/ watch stuff
at some point he starts buying two tickets to all concerts he goes to and invites you along
but also? he asks you what you’re into and starts marathoning your favorite animes/ movies/ series so he can talk with you abt them
you feel really moved that he’d do that for you???  like??? bruh...
your relationship is basically friends respecting each other and wanting to know each other the best through their passions even if it means getting into some weird shit
it’s rly wholesome tho
if you’re romantically involved he’ll totally do roleplay as your favourite character and you do the same for him and it’s really cute
also imagine: artistic collabs. you make fanart together??? you can program games together???? you do cosplay together??? the possibilities...
satan
he’ll hate to be compared to his dad brother but he does show how much he trusts you by showing his unguarded side too
when he first talked about lucifer without the filter of his nice guy persona you were pretty shocked
like he was really going at it
but then you realize? he’s just like that when he’s comfortable
and it’s not all mean spirited, he just has,,, a strong personality and a lot of opinions about stuff (which you sometimes share with him)
but you also found out it’s really fun to gossip with satan
since he knows all the juicy gossip from his multitude of ties (he’s sharing the title of gossip queen with asmo that’s why they get along so well tbh)
also if you even find a teacher you hate he’ll tell you all their embarrassing moments to make you feel better
he also recommends you books and poems and sends you quotes that made him think about you
so you sure as heck don’t need to buy books while you’re in the devildom bc he’ll buy you an entire library 
asmo
compliments you without comparing you to himself which is the highest compliment he can give
like mammon he’s more into the showing everyone his favorite human around while also protecting them
he’ll take you to his parties and gatherings as a guest of honor, he’ll make you meet all kinds of people and open up opportunities for you
he’ll be the one that pampers you
you’d think lucifer is the sugar daddy of the family but nope it’s asmo
he’ll buy you cute clothes, shoes, beauty products everything that he saw and imagined would look bomb on you
if you’re not into clothes he’ll buy you art supplies, books, anything you want but he’ll still probably  buy you at least some clothes he thinks are cute
if you’re romantically involved,,,, he’ll buy other toys for you as well which you can try together wink wink
beel
cooks for you
no questions asked when it’s his turn to cook he’ll think about what YOU would like to eat first before making something
which is??? really touching coming from beel
and also means sometimes he’ll make the same dish three weeks in a row and annoy the others while you just get excited bc ??? you get to eat your favourite dish??? again and again???? 
thank you beel you truly know how to touch someone’s insides
also opens up to you and talks to you about his fears and thoughts
expect to get 4 am msgs from beel if he had a nightmare
which would end up in you coming to cuddle him (and belphie also joins sometimes)
which tbh is that even a thing you can complain about?
belphie
is more baby less murder when you’re around
naps on your lap, naps on your shoulder, naps with you anywhere
but also let’s you nap on HIM
besides being soft around you he actually opens up to you too
and talks to you about his traumas and issues
which he has in common with his twin what can you do
so you have weekly cuddle parties with him and beel where you talk about shit and actually make them resolve their issues instead of just,,, ignoring them
also if you’re into each other you probably tease each other and flirt really shamelessly in public while the others cringe and or blush at your language
are you a cowboy? because i want you to ride me all night 
simeon
writes you fancy letters with poetry like lucifer, but his ink is scented and  his envelopes contain pressed flowers more often than not
if you’re together you even do letter sexting if you’re into it
creates characters based on you in his stories (which you don’t believe even if levi points out you that the two of you are kinda similar)
asks you to spend more and more time with him and luke
invites you to picnics, reads to you while your head is in his lap, cooks you snacks
if you’re a theatre kid too,,, you do musical love confessions too,,, sometimes by just reciting the lyrics of really popular musical theatre songs in a death panned voice
cough a heart full of love from les mis but read like poetry through the fence of the house of lamentation cough
asks you cryptic shit hannibal style like “tell me mc what does it mean to want to be consumed whole by another? is it a desire to become something bigger than yourself or is it related to our need to become one with our loved one like some cultures pointed out before?”
you’re either really into his cryptid talk or just roll your eyes and smooch him
diavolo
invites you around to his castle all the time
sometimes he even pulls some weird shenanigans just to make you spend more time with him
expect tea parties with him luci and barbatos in no particular combination
gives you compliments 24/7  even in public
remember how he treats lucifer? he’s that for you too but he’s learned from the lucifer experience to focus on complimenting you as a person more than how you look
if you’re into pda he’ll touch you all the time
if you ever wanted a gomez - morticia romance, here’s your goth big titty himbo that’s way too full of love
if you’re lovers expect to be pampered, i feel like? he doesn’t buy a lot of gifts and such because he’s probably tired of material things but he will make time in his busy schedule for you and spend a lot of time with you
which means more to him than gifts
(we will buy you anything you ask though)
barbatos
actually talks with you about stuff outside rad, the demon bros and diavolo
also invites you to alone time tea or wine time
where you drink and gossip
if satan and asmo are the crowned queens of gossip barbatos is the king of gossip but he doesn’t share his knowledge to most people so nobody knows what he knows
but he knows,,,, a lot
and not only that he knows a lot about people nowadays,,, but imagine the things he knows about like historical figures and such,,, 
so prepare for story time with barbatos where he  talks about how oscar wilde was almost summoned by drunk inccubi during a party once, or how  diavolo cried when he was a kid because he sent a letter to caravaggio asking him to paint his portrait and he said no
also if you get drunk together expect really energetic talkative barbatos destroying DESTROYING everyone (except diavolo ofc)
“lucifer please i once saw you crying because you thought diavolo was ignoring you when you actually forgot to press the send button to your messages ”
if you’re romantically involved diavolo will always be first in his hear but that just means you’ll have to invite diavolo along on your dates which  just means you’ve got a new lover and a new bff
solomon 
he invites you on all kinds of wacky adventures
you  visit witches, go to weird magical forest parties or orgies if you want, you go travelling the mountains for rare herbs
it’s like you’re faust and he’s mephisto  haha the irony and he’s showing you another side of the world you never knew 
ofc the others know about all this but??? they thought it’s normal and didn’t even consider you know nothing about it
but solomon knows what it was like to be just a human
and since he likes you he empathizes with your situation
he also make you meet all kinds of people
since he has 72 contracts and hundreds of years of doing wack stuff he must know some interesting people
and now his friends are your friends 
i feel like romantic solomon would be just him?? but less shady with you especially since now you understand him better 
but also he’ll probably bring you weird shit from his alone expeditions
did you ever want the tears of a mermaid? a carnivorous plant that feeds on emotions? a crying portrait? no? well too bad because now you have a room full of weird items
...that you love and treasure thank you very much
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kay-diggle · 3 years
Text
The Promise Ring
Summary: Some promises are broken, some promises remain intact, and new promises are made.
Pairing: Jungkook x Female Reader
Genre & Rating: Angst, Smut, Hint of Fluff, 18+
Warnings: oral (m. recieving), somewhat dom!jungkook (he’s actually a big softie) sub!reader, hairpulling, mentions of jealousy, overstimulation, vaginal intercourse, unprotected sex (pls pls pls stay safe guys!)
Length: 4.2k
Notes: I apologize that the first fic I post in months is so terrible (it highkey feels like it’s all over the place but that’s okay!) If you somehow enjoy this... please let me know! I’m still kinda in hiatus bc of school btw :( {Requests are closed}
Kay-Diggle’s Ultimate Masterlist
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.
.
Before 
“It’s so pretty out here tonight,” you commented on the beautiful scenery in front of you. You were laid across your boyfriend’s lap while he leaned back, both taking in the view. 
 For your four year anniversary, Jungkook took you out to a clearing that overlooks the city. You had a late night picnic, eating your favorite foods while sharing some of your favorite memories from the past four years you’ve been together. 
“Yea… but you’re prettier.” 
“Ugh, corrrnnyyyy,” you whined despite feeling yourself begin to blush. 
“Yea, but you love it,” he placed a sweet kiss on your forehead. “And I think this is the perfect time to give you your anniversary gift babe!” 
“No! I definitely told you I did not want a gift this year.” 
“Well that is definitely too bad because I got you one anyways,” he countered, playful as ever. 
He sat up, reaching into the pocket of his jeans. It was hard to see since it was dark outside, but when you clearly saw the velvet black box, you felt a rush of all different types of emotions exploding within you. Upon seeing your shocked face, he stupidly grinned before opening the box, confirming your suspicions about what was inside. 
“Jungkook….” your jaw dropped as you looked at the most beautiful diamond ring you had ever seen. 
“Y/n,” his hand found yours, “I love you so much baby. These past four years have been…. just, so amazing that it’s kind of hard to put into words, ya know? But the one thing I can tell you for sure is that we were meant to be together. You were literally made for me -- my handcrafted destiny. And I promise you that will never change. I promise that I will never stop loving you, I’ll never hurt you. I promise you that I will never break your heart.” 
Nothing could stop the way tears pooled into your eyes at his heartfelt words. You were speechless, only being able to mouth the words ‘I love you’ while Jungkook began laughing at you while wiping away your tears.  
“I know what you’re thinking but it’s not that, so don’t freak out! It’s a promise ring,” he took your left hand, placing said ring on your finger. 
You couldn’t even focus on his words, you just wanted to hug him. And so you did. As soon as he slipped the ring on your finger, you were wrapping him in your arms and tackling him to the ground, crying while laughing at the same time while he laughed with you. 
“Did you even hear me just now?” he chuckled. 
“Yes, not a proposal, but a promise ring,” you nodded. 
“Okay. Just keep in mind I will ask you to marry me one day,” he smirked. 
"And I, Y/n, promise you, Jungkook, that when that day does come, I'll say yes. If you would've asked me tonight I would have said yes with no hesitation." 
“Well then, I can’t wait for that day, hm?” 
“Yeah, me neither.” 
And that night, the two of you made love outside, underneath the stars. 
Now 
When you walked into the room you felt your stomach drop. Seeing your ex-boyfriend’s face months after the worst break up you’ve ever had instead of his best friend who you were planning to meet up with was not what you were expecting when you opened the door. 
“You’re not Namjoon,” a deep frown set on your face. 
“I know. I asked him to get you here. Y/n, please… just hear me out.” 
“No Jungkook,” you shook your head. “I believe you said enough the last time we saw each other, yea?” 
You turned, placing your hand on the doorknob and turning it. Before you could fully open it, you felt a force push it back closed with Jungkook’s strong presence behind you, his hand pressed against the door above your head.
“Y/n. Stay.” 
He whispered it in your ear and although he said it in a commanding voice, his voice was strained almost as if he was begging. You stood completely still for a moment, your heart and mind battling against each other even though you already knew their fight was pointless. In the end, your heart always made you cave. 
You turned to face him, realizing that you were completely trapped between him and the door, you quickly became uncomfortable. Fuck your stupid heart for not being able to resisit the man who broke it. 
“What do you want?” 
“I miss you.” 
You scoffed at that. 
“Well that’s something you could have communicated over the phone rather than creating this whole elaborate plan with Namjoon and getting him to lure me all the way to this hotel.” 
“You realize that you blocked me… on everything, right? I can’t communicate anything to you,” he rolled his eyes. 
“Yes, I realize that. And I did that for a reason. What part of ‘I never want to hear from you or see you again’ did you not understand from when we broke up?” 
“Oh I understood that shit perfectly and I still think it’s fucking bogus.” 
“Yea of fucking course you would. You know that was always your problem. You never see things from my point of view.” 
“Oh and what point of view would that be? Starting arguments over nothing because you’re bored to the point where we had to actually BREAK UP?” 
“Bored Jungkook? Really? I assure you that if I was really bored I would’ve found better ways of occupying my time than arguing with your ass over the same shit.” 
“Oh get real Y/n.” 
“No, you get real!! Your head is so far up your fucking ass that eight months later you still can’t see what you did wrong.” 
“There’s nothing to see! I didn’t do anything!!” 
“Jungkook I fucking told you on multiple occasions that I didn’t appreciate you entertaining that girl when she flirted with you! You know, the one who was only supposed to be a close FRIEND?!?” 
“Jesus Christ y/n, you act as if I FUCKED her. I didn’t even flirt back!” he stepped back from you, crossing his arms under his chest. 
“IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER! Do you understand how it made me feel?? How she would whisper with her friends, talk shit about OUR relationship and I just had to sit back and listen. OH but the ONE time I get drunk and flirt with Taehyung in a moment of weakness, suddenly I was the villain. Suddenly I destroyed our relationship and was all types of whores and sluts. Honestly Jungkook, you can go to hell.” 
“You flirted with my BEST FRIEND y/n.. Basically offered to suck his dick. I’m sorry, was I not supposed to get angry?” 
“No but I definitely wasn’t expecting you to disrespect me by calling me out of my name Jungkook!”
“I APOLOGIZED! I apologized as soon as I realized what I said. And I’ll apologize again if that’s what it’ll take to-” 
“No you don’t have to do shit. I’m leaving. I can’t believe I even stayed this long. Ugh, this is my problem. I’m always too nice to people who don’t deserve my kindness,” your words came out venomous. 
Jungkook bared his teeth, visibly upset before he walked towards you, forcing your body back into the wall. 
“No your problem was you never wanted to fucking talk. It was ALWAYS arguing with you. EVEN NOW! I invited you here to have a conversation and look at what you started!” 
“No YOU started it!” you poked your finger into his chest. “You knew exactly what would happen if we saw each other again which is exactly why you got me here under false pretenses. This is all your fault,” you screamed. “Everything. Was. Your. Fault.” you poked his chest with each word. 
Jungkook grabbed the finger you kept poking him with and it made you audibly gasp. He stared down at you with a look that came across as angry but having been in this position with him before, you could also notice a slight hint of lust in his eyes. 
He let go of your finger before gently pushing his palm into your chest, making your back hit the door and grabbing your wrists, holding them against the door. 
“Listen. To. Me,” he spoke slowly. “I am not putting up with your attitude tonight so stop.” 
“Make me.” 
It was like clock work, the way the two simple words you uttered set him off. He let go of one of your wrists to wrap his hand around your neck, choking you lightly and bent down to whisper in your breath. 
“Stop fucking playing with me Y/N. You already know what happens when you do that shit.” 
“Hmm… well it has been eight months. Maybe you need to refresh my memory?” you challenged. 
Jungkook grunted out of frustration before tightening his grip on your throat and kissing you. The kiss was rushed and furious, much different than the ones you’ve shared with him in the past. No matter how upset he was with you, his lips were always gentle on your skin, but this was completely different. He forced his tongue into your mouth and bit on your lips so hard you were worried he would draw blood. 
His other hand let go of your wrist, trailing it up your thigh to squeezing your waist and ultimately groping your ass while giving your lips a break to attack the sweet spots on your neck instead. 
“Fuck….” you moaned out when his hand began squeezing your breasts, brushing against your hard nipples. 
“You like when I play with your tits?” 
“Nope,” you spit out. “You’re barely doing anything for me right now.” 
“Hmm well you wanna know what I like? When you can’t talk. How about we shut you up.” 
He shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the floor before pushing you to your knees. Having been in this position before, you reacted automatically, rubbing his length through his pants a little. You unbuckled his belt and undid his pants before pulling them and his boxers down just enough to reveal his semi hard dick. After finally seeing it again after months, it would be a lie to say you didn’t miss it. 
“Suck. Now.” 
At his command, you looked up at him while wrapping your hand around his base, letting spit drip from your mouth onto him to make him wet. You moved your hand up and down his length a bit before finally taking him into your mouth, You let your tongue run on the underside of his dick from base to tip before wrapping your lips around his tip and lightly sucking, just like you knew he liked. You looked up at him, covering your teeth with your lips and taking his length further in your throat. One of his hands found purchase in your hair, guiding you up and down his length while his other was spread against the door as if using it to hold himself up. You felt him twitch in your mouth before there was a knock at the door. 
“Jungkook? Y/n? I just came to make sure you guys didn’t kill each other in here,” Namjoon joked wearily. 
“Yup! All good,” came Jungkook’s hasty response when he felt you take in his length completely, deepthroating him. 
“I see you’re acting out for Namjoon,” he whispered looking down at your teasing face before using your hair to push you further down and hold you there. 
After a few seconds he let you up, coughing up spit while gasping for air loud enough that Namjoon could hear. 
“Jungkook what was that? Where’s y/n?” 
“She’s here. She’s fine. We’re working it out. Bye Namjoon!” Jungkook made you go back to sucking his cock after letting you get a few breaths. 
“Maybe I should come in and mediate….” Namjoon contemplated, completely unaware of what was happening on the other side of the room. 
“Unless you want to see her choking on my dick, maybe now is not the best time Namjoon,” Jungkook was starting to get annoyed. 
“Oh… in that case.. I’ll just get going I guess…. Glad to hear you two are.. Working it out?” Both you and Jungkook could hear Namjoon taking off in the opposite direction of the room. It made you giggle a little bit, vibrating against Jungkook’s cock. Nearly cumming down your throat at the feeling, he slapped his hand against the door before using your hair to pull your mouth off of him. 
His hand wrapped around your arm, pulling your body back into a standing position before capturing your lips in a heated kiss again. 
“Fucking Namjoon….” Jungkook trailed off, his hands now exploring your body again. “And why the fuck were you coming to see Namjoon dressed like this?” He asked, referring to the tiny black dress you were wearing that barely covered your ass. 
You replied with the most petty thing you could think of. “I don’t know. Maybe it was so that I could finally fuck one of your best friends, like I was accused of doing.” 
Jungkook gritted his teeth, yet again visibly annoyed with you. “And how should I fuck you fuck, hm? Should I fuck you against the door? Make you scream my name? Make sure everyone in this hotel knows how much you’ve fucking missed me?” 
His fingers traveled under your dress and pulled your soaked panties to the side, easily slipping a finger into you and then adding another beginning to fuck you
“Ah, shit!” 
“Answer the question.” 
“Fuck! Yes, fuck me wherever you like” 
At that, he quickly ripped your underwear off your body and pulled your dress off, wanting as much access to your bare skin as possible. He pulled the rest of his pants off as you tugged his shirt off and threw it across the room. 
He pushed you completely against the door and raised one of your legs to wrap around his waist. Taking his length in his hand, he slapped it against your clit a few times, smirking at you as you whimpered at the feeling. He rubbed his length against your wet folds until you couldn’t take it anymore. 
“Jungkook,” you were annoyed. 
“Yes?” He looked at you with a sly smile on his face. 
“Just put it in!” 
“Beg me first.” 
“You’re so goddamn irritating.” 
“Now Y/n, is that any way to talk to someone who can give you what you so desperately need?” His condescending tone of voice only worked to aggravate you further, but you not wanting to waste anymore time, you gave in. 
“Please Jungkook! Please fuck me. I can’t wait anymore, it’s been too long. Please i-  I need you!” 
He pressed your waist further into the door before finally sliding inside of you. 
“I don’t want to hear anything out of your mouth that isn’t you begging or my name,” he whispered in your ear as he began to fuck you, his movements made easier by your wetness. “No talking back.” Hard Thrust. “No smart ass comments.” Hard thrust. “Nothing.”
When he began pounding into you, you lost your footing, almost slipping. With a grunt, Jungkook grabbed both of your thighs, hoisting you up against the door and trapping you under his body. With this new position, he spread your legs further, now being able to go deeper within you. When you felt his tip repeatedly nudge the spongy spot within you, you let out your loudest sound yet, a combination of Jungkook’s name and a moan. He apparently thought it was too loud because he covered your mouth with the palm. 
“Be quiet” he whispered in your ear harshly. 
You wrapped your hand around his wrist, moving his palm so that you could speak. “‘I’m sorry, it’s just so good, ugh fuck.” 
“Yea, bubby? Did you miss me fucking this tight pussy? Missed me pounding into you just the way you like?” 
The cute pet name he used to call you when you were in a relationship completely flew over your head. The only thing you could focus on was the way his cock felt sliding against your walls, throbbing inside of you. 
“God, please! Please make me cum.” 
“You wanna cum? You missed cumming all over my cock right?” 
“Fuck yes! God,” you cried out when he went harder, your body banging into the door with every thrust. 
Jungkook was too busy holding your body up so he could fuck you properly, so you one of the hands that was gripping his shoulders down to your throbbing clit, rubbing it so that you could bring yourself to your end. Jungkook’s eyes traveled down to where your fingers were working, biting his lip at the sight. 
“Mmhmm, yes bubby. Rub that little pretty clit of yours. Are you gonna make yourself cum, hmm? Be a good girl for once and make yourself cum for me?”
“Yes.. yes, I’m gonna cum so hard Jungkook, just for you! Ahhh, fucckkkk” You were spewing so many words in your moment of bliss that you couldn’t even recall what you were saying.Your legs trembled while your hands wrapped around Jungkook’s wrist as he fucked you through your high. Your entire body felt overwhelmed as you came, especially when Jungkook kissed you while you were still shaking all over his dick, making it even harder for you to breathe. 
Disconnecting your lips so you could both catch a breath, jungkook asked “You came so hard, can you take more?” 
“Yes. Please, I need more.” Jungkook could see in your eyes how fucked out you were. The look you gave him had his cock throbbing so hard that he felt he could cum in that exact moment. 
He carried your limp body to the bed on the other side of the room, placing you down on the edge and instructing you to move up towards the headboard, holding back a laugh as he watched you struggle to crawl with your worn out legs. 
He joined you on the bed, sitting on his knees between your spread legs, touching himself at the sight of your post-orgasm face and glistening wetness. Watching him bite his lip and touch himself while looking you dead in the eye had your worn out pussy whimpering for him again, demanding more, and you couldn’t wait. You wrapped your legs around his waist, prompting him to hover over you, hands right beside your head to hold himself up. 
“Do you want it?” 
You quickly nodded your head. 
“Words, bubby.” 
“Yes Jungkook.” 
And then you both watched as he slid his length back inside of your cavern. Compared to his fast and rough thrust earlier, these were slower and more calculated. He was grinding into you in a way where you could feel his pelvis brush against your clit every time he moved deeper into you. You cried out to him again from the overstimulation. 
“You okay y/n?” he questioned, not stopping his movements. 
“Yea, just sensitive. Please don’t stop,” you begged, 
“I promise I won’t. I don’t ever want to stop….” 
You couldn’t focus on his words while he moved inside you. All you could do is let the moans roll out of your mouth that hung wide open. And all Jungkook could do was watch, thinking about how much he missed this. How much he missed you. 
He lowered his body so that he was basically laying on top of you, one hand gripping your waist while the other gripped the sheet next to your head. He rolled his hips into you at a faster pace and you couldn’t help but fling your arms around him, holding on tight. He dropped his forehead to yours and you finally looked at him, really looked at him without the lust clouding your eyes. You were still able to read him the same way you always could. You finally noticed the drop in his earlier dominant persona and how he became softer with the way he touched you. 
You felt his love radiating through you. He was making love to you. 
“Fuck y/n, I’ve missed you so much.” 
“Jungkook … please, please don’t. Please just fuck me,” you begged. You couldn’t do this. You weren’t ready to face your feelings. 
“I can’t just fuck you. I want more. I want you.” Both of his hands found their way to yours, locking your fingers together while looking each other in the eye. “I only want you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I love you, bubby. I’ve never stopped… ugh, I promised I never would.”
His sudden confession made all of the emotions you thought you had locked away for the past eight months come back. You were crying. You were sobbing under the guise of pleasure.. It was all too bittersweet. Jungkook was simultaneously making your body feel good but your heart feel so sad. 
You couldn’t speak. You didn’t have the words. You just clamped your walls around him, pushing you both towards your climaxes. He squeezed your hands when he felt his balls tighten and cock throb, kissing you and groaning against your mouth as he came inside of you. He left open mouthed kisses on your face and down your body. This time, it was his fingers on your clit that brought you to your second end, all while whispering sweet, meaningful words in your ear about how beautiful you were and how much he misses you. It made your orgasm more intense, your feelings overriding your senses as you spasmed around his now soft cock inside of you. 
When he finally pulled out, he kissed you deeply for only a second, hugging your body closer to his and wiping your tears away as you both tried to catch your breath yet again. When the stickiness of your lower body began to feel as heavy as your heart and to Jungkook’s dismay, you got out of the bed and went into the bathroom, taking some time to clean up and silently sob into your hand before splashing water onto your tear stained cheek. You weren’t prepared for what would happen when you walked out the door and faced your ex lover again, but you knew you couldn’t avoid it either. 
Exiting the bathroom you saw Jungkook already dressed and  you scanned the room for your clothing which was mostly by the door. Jungkook silently watched as you dressed yourself and when he saw the look on your face when you turned around, he shot out of the bed and rushed towards you. 
“Marry me.” 
Your jaw dropped. “Jungkook…. What? Are you insane?!?” 
When he brought his hand into your line of sight, you recognized the item you threw at his chest eight months ago as you packed your bags and prepared to leave him. The cursed promise ring. 
“Do you remember when I gave this to you? I promised you that one day I would ask you to marry me. Well today is that day…... Do you remember what you promised me?” 
“Jungkook… “ 
“What did you promise me y/n?” he was desperate.
“I promised- I promised that I would say yes when you asked,” you mumbled, eyesight being blocked by fresh tears. 
“Well I’m asking,” he got down on one knee. “Y/n, will you marry me?” 
“This isn’t fair,” you sobbed. “I said that when we were still together. Things have changed Jungkook.” 
“Oh really? What’s changed y/n? We haven’t been together for a few months, but who cares. The only thing that matters is that our feelings haven’t been affected by our time apart. And they never will be. We’re always going to be in love. I promised you that.” 
Jungkook was crying himself at this point, and it broke you. Your head and heart were once again at war, but that didn’t matter. Nothing else could matter to you when the love of your life was on one knee in front of you, professing his undying love for you and asking you to spend the rest of your life with him. Your heart and your mind ultimately knew that he was right. Your feelings for him never changed, and they never would. There was no point trying to fight it. And yea he might have broken a promise or two, but he was making good on them now, and that was all that mattered. 
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, before mumbling out a small “Yes.” 
When you opened your eyes, your new fiancé looked dumbfounded with the brightest smile you had ever seen on him. He cried out in joy before coming off his knee, lifting you up in his arms and twirling you around before trapping your face in his hands and kissing you as if his life depended on it. You couldn’t help but laugh as you wiped both his and your own tears away. 
“Was this your whole plan? To propose to me tonight?” 
“It was,” he grinned. “Now that I know what my life is like without you in it, I’m never letting you go again. And that’s a promise.” 
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