#avoidance

[makingsenseofwhathappened]

They called it “just a comment"

I called it

three weeks of anxiety, five skipped shifts, and a therapist

I couldn’t afford

[furiousgoldfish]

I am the easiest person to get rid of. You can imply once that you don't want me around and you'll never see me again. Call me annoying once, I'm gone. Be mean to me once and I will get out of your life promptly. Look at me the wrong way and I am a ghost. The fear of being a burden will have me erase myself before staying where I'm not wanted.

[classycookiexo]

[cloud9doll]

louise glück, the white series // claude monet, houses in the snow // fyodor dostoyevsky, the gentle spirit // jane o. wayne, with solitude //reddit user artsykate, winter nocturne with lonely road // joseph brodsky, to m.b. // fyodor dostoevsky, poor folk // caspar david friedrich, winter landscape // audre lorde, the cancer journals // mahmoud darwish, memory for forgetfulness

[feral-ballad]

Jeanette Winterson, from The PowerBook

[Text ID: “To avoid discovery I stay on the run. To discover things for myself I stay on the run.”]

[lannegarrett]

Me: I desperately want to finish writing my book. More than anything. More than I want coffee, sleep, food, or socializing.

Them: shouldn't you be working on it then?

Me *pausing while reorganizing my fridge*: how dare you!

[brainspiraling]

Sometimes when people say they "can't give you what you need", they mean they won't— they don't care enough to.

[despotbard]

knowing

[positivelypresent]

Something to think about!

[shabbyshoebox]

Texting in theory: communication with friends! So fun! Memes! Talk talk talk! ❤️✨

Texting in practice: Oh god I don't have the energy to reply right now, I'm currently in Task Mode not Talk Mode so there is currently no battery allocated for socializing atm. Oh it's been too long, do they think I hate them? If I reply will I have to stay engaged in conversation for a few seconds? Half an hour? How long will this conversation be? When is it okay to step away and do something else? Will they think I hate them if I go too long without responding again? I don't hate them, I love them, I need to figure out how to do this. What tone did they intend this in? How do I ask what tone they meant without coming across as rude? How can I respond in a way that cannot possibly be construed as passive aggressive/rude/dismissive? I want to stay engaged with the task I'm doing, I don't want to go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I really really enjoy it when I'm in the right "Mode" but each notification feels like an obligation. Why does this feel like a chore? I like talking to my friends, why doesn't it feel like talking to my friends? Why do I feel trapped? Why do I avoid people I love? Oftentimes I'm not even "doing" anything when I don't respond, I'm just in "non social" mode. Even if I know I'll enjoy talking once I get started every unopened message feels like a burden. I shouldn't see texts from people I love this way, I should be happy, they want to talk to me and they love me. Why can't I just be normal about this, why can't I stop avoiding every damn thing?

[pratchettquotes]

Vorbis turned his head slightly, looking sidelong at Brutha as if he was trying to hide behind his own face.

Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

[surrah698]

My sassy PDA be like...

[problematic-tip-centre]

Avoidant choices a character could make

Ghosting someone to avoid a difficult conversation

Leaving an event early to avoid emotional intimacy or a confrontation

Refusing to apply for a job because the failure would be too much

Suppressing emotions, even in private

Overworking

Ending a relationship suddenly instead of working through conflict

Decisions that have dangerous consequences

Ignoring a threatening message, leading to them or someone else getting hurt (either out of fear, or a belief that the person being threatened deserves it)

Refusing to get medical attention out of fear (medical trauma my beloved)

Failing to warn others about an impending threat

Failing to testify in court out of fear, resulting in a criminal going free.

Avoiding checking on a loved one after a worrying message

Motivations

Avoiding fear/discomfort

Don’t believe their actions matter

Prioritise personal comfort

Overconfidence in others handling it

Denial as self-preservation

Laziness

Desire to let things unravel/watch the world burn

Believes people should handle things themselves

Revenge/schadenfrude

Potential negative consequences of confronting bad situations/feelings

A violent and intense argument is caused which results in a relationship ending anyway

Embarrassment

Losing their sense of control

Emotional vulnerability is met with contempt and weaponisation by others

Dragged into a dangerous situation

The experience the character is avoiding actually traumatises them further

Potential of horrific discovery

Intense anger over the fear felt by vulnerability/confronting trauma

Have fun with ts 🔥🔥🔥

[alazarrr]

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . the feeling was so intense that he just said, 'Bye!' and ran away.

Lev Grossman, from The Bright Sword