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whentherewerebicycles · 3 years

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hi! i wanted to say i love reading your reflections on teaching, and in general i really look up to/am inspired by your thoughts regarding education and academia. if it's not too much to ask (completely understandable if it is, in that case please disregard!) i would love to get your advice on college related things?

i had pretty significant academic struggles throughout grade school, and ended up dropping out of college after a year. i would've graduated this may, so lately i've been considering going back and finishing my bachelor's. but i've been waffling on this decision because of 1) anxiety about having to drop out again, and 2) some confusion about what i actually want to study. i guess i'm wondering, is it worth it to start from scratch? my struggles were mostly about mental health stuff & difficulty keeping up with coursework—i loved being in the classroom, working with professors, learning from other students. i like being challenged intellectually, but if i have issues with followthrough, is there a way to work on that??? i know these are Big Questions, lol--whether they are answerable or not, cheers and thank you and i hope you are doing well these days. <3

hey! happy to give my thoughts, for what they're worth. you know your situation better than i do so the specifics may or may not be relevant, but i can give some advice just based on seeing lots of students pass through four-year programs!

i've worked with a number of students who took time away from college and came back to finish later. i took a year off myself in the middle of college for mental health reasons, though my school allowed you to take a two-semester leave of absence for any reason (so i always had the safety net of knowing i could come back without having to reapply or start over). in my experience, time away is almost always a good thing. sometimes people just really need that break from the stressors of the college environment! but more importantly, i think people benefit from having a few years' experience living and working in the world.

even though it can be intimidating to come back to college as an older student, i think older students or nontraditional students who took time off and came back tend to underestimate how much more confident and assured in themselves they'll be once they're back in the classroom. working out in the world for a while, even if it's not a job that you especially love or feel is relevant to your long-term goals, tends to help you build more trust in your own ability to get stuff done, manage responsibilities, and be an adult person in the world. in your time away, you've probably grown more than you think, and you may find that some of the things you struggled with at 18 just don't feel as daunting anymore. or they might feel daunting, but you also have more experience talking and working with other people, and you may feel more confident in seeking out & using your college's various academic success resources.

have you considered a two-year college as a possible next step? one of my advisees this year was an adult student who went to college for a year, dropped out, served in the military for four years, came back to do an associate's degree, and decided he liked school enough that he wanted to transfer to our university and finish his degree. (now he's going on to do a phd next fall!!!!) he's one of the most passionate advocates for community colleges i've ever met, and he's stayed actively involved in our local CC community & now mentors recent transfer students at our university. he's talked at length about how CCs are this amazing way for students to explore their interests without having to take on the huge price tag of a four-year degree, within a learning community that's much warmer, more responsive to student needs, and more accepting of the diverse paths that lead people to & through higher education. i wonder if you might consider taking a semester or a year of courses at your local CC, to dip your toes back in and see if you're still feeling energized by the experience.

you might find that some of the courses aren't intellectually challenging enough, but this might also be a wonderful opportunity to create the kind of learning experience you want to have. i was a full-time community college student for a year during my year away from yale, and while i'm sure i was just INSUFFERABLE in many ways, i had a prof in my Western Civ course who was really generous with his time/energy and met with me outside of class to help me figure out how to make the papers into something that i found really exciting and challenging to write. so the class kind of became what i made of it, and i got to read some stuff (dostoevsky!!!) that sent me down all kinds of interesting unexpected rabbitholes. the former CC grad i mentioned above was an extraordinarily bright student who would always go to office hours and ask his profs for more recommended readings, and he ended up becoming a TA for one of his courses and helped them redesign basically their entire intro humanities curriculum as a student advisor. so your CC experience can absolutely be what you make of it. and even if your profs can't give you that kind of support, you could practice doing it for yourself, setting little challenges for yourself either focused on the intellectual aspects ('I'm going to read and cite two scholarly sources in this paper, even though it's not required') or on developing strategies for effectively managing the workload ('I'm going to schedule a writing center appointment on Thurs, so I have to finish this paper two days before the deadline—and then I can devote my weekend study time to practicing for my Spanish test').

CC would be a slightly lower stakes environment for you to try out college again— lower-stakes both in the sense that it's cheaper (so if you decide you don't want to continue, you're not out as much money / don't feel compelled to go on to justify the debt you've taken on) and in the sense that the workload might be more manageable for you as you readjust to academic life and build systems & structures that work for you. as you probably have gathered from this blog, i am a HUGE believer in doing lower-stakes things many times over to build your own confidence and your trust in yourself, and then gradually scaling up the difficulty. by the time you reach the hard thing, you've already built up this strong image of yourself as a person who can handle challenges (and you've also had the chance to identify areas where you struggle & experiment with developing workable solutions).

if a two-year college isn't something you're especially interested in, i think it's definitely possible to start a four-year degree again. if that's the path you choose, i would strongly recommend reaching out to students in some of the degree programs you're tentatively interested in. people are almost always happy to share their ~wisdom~ (see: this ask response, lol) and most people love being asked for their thoughts on the pros and cons of something they know well. so you could get an honest sense from students of what the program is like, what the workload is like, and how useful or engaging people find the required courses for the degree. but also know that it's pretty normal to take courses all over in your first year or two (you have the advantage of having done a freshman year before, so you probably know this!), so you might just want to plan to try out a bunch of different things, with the goal of narrowing your focus by the end of your first year, or midway through your second.

i would also HIGHLY recommend spending lots of time familiarizing yourself with the resources your university has to offer. learn everything you can about the kind of mental health counseling and support they offer to students, and see if there are things you can set up in advance for yourself before you even step foot on campus. for instance, our university offers individual counseling, but they also have free groups that meet every week or two around different topics (coping with stress, students in recovery, etc) that are led by a counselor. check out your university's writing center or peer tutoring centers, too, and set up a standing appointment once a month or once a week or whatever, to bring in something you're working on—so that you know that every week, you're going to talk with someone about what's going well and what you're struggling with in your assignments.

you might also want to look into your university's services for students with disabilities office, as they can help you figure out if you are eligible for various kinds of accommodations or additional support (extra time on exams, notetaking services, recorded lectures, etc). i know you mentioned that you've dealt with academic struggles in grade school, too. if you think it's possible that there may be underlying learning differences that are affecting your academic work, it might be worth seeing if they can help you find lower-cost testing, so you can get a diagnosis that qualifies you for additional accommodations and university support.

many schools, esp large public universities, also have resource centers and mentoring programs for students from specific demographics who may benefit from additional structure and support in their early years of college. my university has a variety of resource centers and programs for students from low-income backgrounds, first-gen students, students who transferred from community college, etc. you don't have to take advantage of ALL of these resources, but proactively establishing a support network long before you need it is a really good way to set yourself up for success. and even just doing the research will probably help you feel more confident in your capacity to 'follow through', since you'll know that you're going into this with your eyes wide open AND with a detailed plan for what to do if you run into some of the same obstacles you encountered the first time around.

speaking of detailed plans: i find it helpful sometimes to do IF-THEN exercises with students when they're stressed about something on the horizon or unsure about whether they can handle some new challenge. IF-THEN is just what it sounds like: 'IF this thing I'm nervous about happens, THEN I'm going to do X, Y, or Z.' what i like about this exercise (i use it with myself too aha) is that it acknowledges that sometimes the thing you're dreading DOES happen. sometimes the professor you emailed for an extension says no. sometimes the TA doesn't understand why you're confused about the assignment. sometimes you don't have time to finish the reading before class. sometimes you overschedule yourself and you have to pull an all-nighter to finish two papers on the same night. scary things, confidence-shaking things, happen all the time, but they are rarely fatal! and there can be something really powerful about acknowledging and naming the thing you're concerned about, and then generating a few next steps you could take, should the thing you're dreading come to pass. i could see you doing something like this as you start thinking about the things that tripped you up last time, or made it difficult for you to balance the workload. if X happens, then what could you try next? giving yourself a few options means that you already have backup plans, too, which can make the whole situation less terrifying. if this happens, i might have to try this, or this, or this, and those things might not be the most fun or the easiest to do or the 'best' thing academically, but they'll get me through this difficult moment mostly in one piece, and once i'm through it i can look back on it and learn from it, or adjust the structures i've built for myself moving forward, to reduce the chance that X happens again.

PHEW!!! sorry this got so long but that is just the RISK YOU TAKE when sending me anons 😅 i hope that some of this is helpful to you, or at least sparks some useful thinking for you, even if it's not all directly applicable to your situation. i would say that if you love learning and find being in the classroom exhilarating, then you should absolutely go back to college! but that doesn't mean you have to go back right away, or that you have to go back and do it exactly the same way you did the first time. there are lots of possible paths to higher ed, and there's no particular rush—college will always be there, if it's something you decide you want now or at some future point in your life. i would also just reiterate again one of the core Themes of This Blog, which is that the brain is NEUROPLASTIC, and that humans have a truly astounding amazing capacity to change, grow, and learn new things (including new ways of getting around old obstacles or working through old challenges). just because you struggled the first time doesn't mean you are doomed to repeat that pattern. if you can spend some time thoughtfully reflecting on what you found most difficult to manage the first time through, you are better equipped to make plans, design new structures for yourself, and build the support networks that will help you thrive in college.

#long post #mw #teaching #(kind of)

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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Heyo, I've been a fan of your analysis of RWBY for quite some time, and I've been wondering something. In Vol 7/8 a lot of stuff hit the fan, and some fans are trying to convince everyone that their preferred side is in the right. Do you think what determines whether an action is good or not based on Intentions behind an action, or the Outcome? And for that matter, is it better to stick to Pragmatism, or Principles?

Hello, anon! :D

I think... it’s both lol. I’ve said many times on this blog that context matters - the situation matters - and I stand by that. Determining whether intentions or outcome matter more, or whether pragmatism or principles are called for, depends on what sort of problem we’re discussing.

In regards to that first question, let’s pretend that a friend decides to cook me a surprise dinner. In the first version of this scenario they use the key under the mat while I’m out, start a meal in my kitchen... and in the process manage to spill it all over the floor.

Here, our outcome isn’t that bad. It’s a mess, but it’s a cleanable mess. We can wipe the food off the tile and order a pizza. I understand it was a mistake - a pretty common one too - so I put more weight on the intentions behind the action. You were trying to do something nice for me, surprise me, cheer me up, etc. I appreciate the thought even if things didn’t turn out great.

Now, a second version: My friend uses the key under the mat while I’m out, starts a meal in my kitchen... and in the process starts a fire that burns my whole house down.

Here, the outcome is horrific. Everything is gone. I’ve lost all my possessions, my home, and my already stressed life has just gotten that much harder. Given the extent of the outcome, intentions don’t carry as much weight. I might understand on an intellectual level that you meant no harm, that it was still just a mistake, but emotionally that’s going to be a lot harder to prioritize. The extent of the outcome may have me focusing on stuff I might otherwise overlook, like whether I was comfortable with them coming into my house without permission. Even if I’m able to put aside my own anger and grief, this sort of outcome still requires intervention in a way that a messy floor does not. What were you doing that started the fire? Is it possible that this is a mistake you’ll repeat? Because this is something that we cannot afford to let happen again.

Personally, I always try to keep intentions in mind. Even when the outcome is truly horrific, if I’m convinced that the person meant no harm than that means something. It doesn’t absolve them of their mistake, but it creates a good foundation for us to move forward. Like if someone tells a really offensive joke. In both cases our outcome is bad - the joke was told and people were hurt - but the person who had no idea it was offensive and really thought it would get us to laugh is in a different place from the person who finds the offensiveness itself to be funny and meant to do harm to that group in telling the joke. That was the entire point for them. The intentions of Person A automatically put them in a more likely position to avoid repeating this undesirable outcome. Not so with Person B.

As for pragmatism and principles, I prefer for them to work hand-in-hand. Meaning, I try to uphold my principles in the most sensible and useful way possible. If my principle is “Help people” and I’m offered “Reblog a text post about this issue” or “Donate money to a cause supporting this issue” I’ll ideally do both because that maximizes my assistance. If I don’t have any money at the time, I’ll just reblog because doing something - even something small - is always better than doing nothing. If I have money but am not online at the time of the post’s circulation, I ignore the guilt tripping “You don’t really care if you don’t reblog this” additions because I know that, realistically, I’m a person with a life who can’t do everything all the time. Principles will always be caught up in the messiness of reality.

My general motto is “Do what you can, when you can, and ensure you’re still in a position to continue that help in the future.” In real life that means doing things like taking a break from an issue if your mental health requires it. The principle “Help as much as you can” comes with the caveat “You can’t help if you burn yourself out.” So, paradoxically, not doing something for a while ensures you can do something later (and is also just something everyone deserves. We all need to take care of ourselves). In a fantasy war like RWBY’s, it means staying alive to fight another day. I fully support the group’s principle of “Save everyone,” but without a plan for how to achieve that, pragmatism wins. I’ll choose “Leave to survive Salem and fight again” in the same way I’ll choose “Take a break from issues to recover your mental health” because both assist me and ensure I’m in a position to provide assistance for others later. I’d likewise choose “Save all the people in Atlas and a decent portion of Mantle, even if it’s not everyone” like I would “Just reblog the post” because doing what you know you can accomplish and helping a little is better than not helping at all...or making the situation worse. In an ideal world you get to do both - Save Mantle and Atlas! Reblog and donate! - but the world isn’t always ideal. That was RWBY’s setup in Volume 7: You don’t get to live in a perfect world. It’s not the fairy tale. So you have to do what you can, when you can, with what resources and knowledge you have... are you able to do that? Even if it’s emotionally devastating?

Principles are great, but principles have their own outcomes that have to be weighed against intentions. If the principle is “We should strive to save people” and the intention is “I only want to help people” but the outcome is “Based on these specific circumstances we’ll likely get everyone killed despite our principles and intentions”... then you might want to consider a different course of action. Even if it seems paradoxical at first glance. That’s always been my interpretation of the Volume 7 conflict. We were presented with a situation where, against first-glance logic, the best way to help people was by leaving others behind. It could have been a fantastic look into that hard, gritty reality that RT keeps insisting is there. But instead, the story had the group chasing their principles and the world began bending to accommodate them: Salem miraculously doesn’t attack and wipe everyone out. Amity Tower is miraculously ready to go. The civilians miraculously don’t die of cold. Every reason why the group was not in a position is push for perfection is now miraculously swept under the rug. That doesn’t prove that the group was always right and instinctively knew that both Amity and Mantle could be saved all along, it just means the writers of this story weren’t willing to adhere to the situation they wrote: one that demanded a more pragmatic approach.

RWBY Volume 8 is the equivalent of watching a character drive off a cliff in Episode One... and then Episode Two opens with them somehow still at the cliff’s edge, managing to turn at the last second. The people who said, “There’s no surviving that. They’re dead” aren’t stupid, they were just following what the story gave them. RWBY is quickly pulling back on what they originally gave us so that the, “They can still survive!” group looks like they were right all along.

#mymetas #rwby #Anonymous

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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946

Do you flush the toilet with your hand or your foot?: I use my hand at home and in other people’s bathrooms, but I use my foot in public washrooms because I know everyone else does and I would not want my hands anywhere near something so dirty.

What is your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? (Ex: ENTP): My results change every time I take it and I believe it’s because I retake the test at different points in my life where I’ve changed a little bit. That being said I’ve gotten ISFJ, ISTJ, INTJ, and ENTJ. I feel like it would eventually give me the entire spectrum so I just stopped taking the test altogether at some point.

Do you read any blogs? If so, which ones?: I read people’s answers on here because I find everyone interesting, if that counts as reading someone’s blog.

Where do you typically buy your clothes?: Small, independent tiangges at the mall that sell trendy pieces for a lot cheaper.

On a scale of one to ten, how healthy do you eat?: 5. I like my veggies and would never skimp on them, it’s just that more unhealthy foods are more accessible to me for the most part ha.

What do you think is the most valuable college major?: All of them are? This question really comes off as elitist.

Which book(s) should I read this summer?: I’d rather refer you to other survey-takers instead who read way more than I do and for sure have a better selection to recommend, heh.

Would you rather have curvy legs or skinny legs?: I don’t mind what kind of legs I have...but I have a bit of both, I’d say. I have a thigh gap but my thighs have a bit of meat on them and aren’t entirely skinny.

Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?: It’s fun to believe in them just because it makes watching things like Buzzfeed Unsolved more fun, but at the end of the day I like to remain skeptical. I’ve never seen one.

What is your favorite game show?: Jeopardy! Family Feud can also be hilarious.

How many times a day do you use the restroom?: 1-3 times a day, probably.

How much fruit do you eat on a given day?: Blech, none. My sister loves fruits though, so we always have a selection of them at home. I just ignore them.

What was the last thing that made you cringe?: I was watching a Good Mythical Morning video on people who attempted to beat world records but failed, so you can imagine the secondhand embarrassment that came off that video.

What is your favorite 80s movie?: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off FOR. DAYS.

What time did you go to bed last night?: I was tired and cranky and sad, so I was in bed by 9 PM.

Do you have your own car?: I technically do. But my parents paid for it; it’s just mainly mine so I can take myself anywhere if I have to.

Do you own a romper?: Yes, a couple. It’s one of my favorite things to wear; they’re simple and easy to wear and still always look nice on me.

Who was the last person who drew you a picture?: Andrew.

When someone takes your picture, do you smile with mouth open or closed?: Depends how close the camera is. I close my mouth if it’s a selfie or if the camera is very near; if it’s a group shot I tend to smile with my teeth.

Be honest -- do you floss?: Occasionally.

Five years ago, what did you want to grow up to be?: I wanted to be a journalist and do documentaries, lels. Naïve times when I thought that would bring me money.

What do you want to be now?: Career-wise my priorities have moved onto being in public relations and handling brands. Person-wise, I wish I was happy and that my life would be on track soon.

Would you rather hold a scorpion or a snake?: Scorpion, only because I’ve already held snakes before and it’d be nice to try something I’ve never done.

Can you do the splits?: Never could.

What is your favorite type of personality in a person?: I like approachable people, those who don’t close themselves off when it comes to helping or those who are super easy to talk to.

How about your least favorite?: People who live in their privilege and aren’t considerate of others who may be living in different, less-advantaged situations.

What is your favorite breakfast cereal?: I don’t like cereal but my favorite brand to eat on its own is the Cookie Crisp one. Tiny chocolate chips as a cereal will always be revolutionary to me, ha.

How do you usually get your exercise?: Walking my dogs is my only workout. And since I can’t walk them together, I get to have two rounds.

Who are your godparents?: Some of my mom’s cousins.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?: Cookies and cream! And chocolate chip cookie dough.

Are any of your siblings married?: Neither of them are, and at 20 and 17 I’m not expecting them to be.

What does your phone case look like, if you have one?: It’s just a plain, clear one. I managed to destroy an Otterbox case, so the second one my parents got for me was a cheap plastic case lol.

What is something about you that the opposite sex finds attractive?: Why ask me? Go ask them.

What are your three favorite girl names?: Olivia, Mia, and Arden. Those are my favorites today, at least. Olivia’s a constant, but the other two are always changing.

What are your three favorite boy names?: Lucas, Matteo, Miguel.

What do you usually put in your omelettes?: Cheese, tomatoes, bell peppers.

Have you ever tried to go vegetarian? How long did you last?: I haven’t, but it’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while. Filipino cuisine hardly has any avenues to allow for a vegetarian diet though so I’m never sure if I could actually push through with one.

What kind of exotic animal do you think you could keep as a pet?: None of them.

If you could be any kind of building, what would you be and why?: I don’t really care...

What is your favorite type of dog?: Anything but the feisty chihuahuas.

What is something you can draw really well?: Letters.

What is your favorite fast food joint?: Jollibee will always be a winner in my heart.

#survey #surveys

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eye-of-enigmatic-thought · 5 years

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2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’.

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are...

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way... 2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together!

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

#tara's text

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heavensentgohansrage · 5 years

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Sunflower Marimo

PG-13, 4958 words

Fluff and Crack, Magical Seeds

AO3

So in this post on my main blog I gushed over this adorable work by @kingofalltsunfish and sorta made a promise to write it for her lol

It may have happened almost over two years ago, and the art itself is even much older than that, but I knew I had to do it.

Even if the outcome is all over the place for so many reasons, it’s better now then never.

Sanji has been howling with laughter for the last half an hour, as he keeps understanding more and more the reason behind Zoro’s strange behaviour.

Ever since returning back to the ship at almost the middle of the night, Zoro has refused to leave Chopper’s infirmary, where he has spent the night instead of the boys’ quarter. Then, all throughout breakfast, he proceeded in arguing with Nami about his mysterious need to turn the Sunny against the location of the sun - or, in words of people who actually know how direction works, to turn west - even though the Log Pose is directing to north-east.

Nami eventually agreed, even though he refused to give any explanation whatsoever. Then, it was only when he checked - through more than one window, because, you know, safety first - that the shadows outside were stretched in alignment with the ship’s structure that he rushed from the galley and through the short way that the infirmary created to the backside of the ship.

The crew’s excitement as they followed right after him was short, though, as it turned out he simply had to pee. Looking at each other, the group asked Franky to check if there was something wrong with the ship - although it did not explain Zoro’s secrecy about it - but he quickly found out that everything was just fine.

It was just then when Zoro finally went out, but slowly so, as he opened the door way too carefully, and even then took his time to look around, clearly making sure the ship was still facing the same way as he had asked for. Weirdly enough, it suddenly was not good enough for him to get out, but just shouted that they could now turn it back.

Before Sanji could tell him once more that Nami-san is not one to order around like that, though, Luffy stretched his hand all the way to him, assuring that he would make it quicker for him- and pulled Zoro’s shirt back to him without sparing him a moment to object.

Zoro, as usual, crushed right at Luffy and most of the rest, like Robin-chan, who Sanji had the utmost pleasure to pull away; but as he was bathing in the delight for having her thanking him that, suddenly he heard Zoro grunting.

The instinct to stand guard for his Nakamas overcoming any other nature of his as usual, Sanji cut his blessings off right away and turn to the Marimo-head, who was gritting his teeth and shaking with effort, although there was nothing visible to be affecting him.

Usopp and Luffy were arguing with one another, seemingly sensing nothing themselves, but Sanji activated his Haki anyway, in case some Devil Fruit power was casting on him from afar.

“What are you doing, dumb Cook?”

Sanji blinked back at Zoro, who, weirdly enough, looked completely fine as he was standing quiet and still. Had he seriously stolen his attention for nothing? Was it all just about some stupid bet he filled, considering Zoro never backs down from a promise he makes?

Sanji frowned. “You gotta be kidding me- you weren’t okay just a second ago! Just what’s wrong with you today that you’re acting more weirdly than usual?!”

There was a flash of realization in Zoro’s eye, and suddenly he was giving him the kind of smirk he always has when he uses Sanji to his advantage, although usually it is only for his amusement. “Me? I’m completely fine. You’re the one who imagines things. See?” He stretched his arms to the sides and walked backwards, as though to give Sanji a better look of his entire body.

But then he walked right into Nami, who had returned from the helm on the front of the ship to their side.

“Not only you didn’t watch your mouth that entire morning, but now you don’t even mind crossing others’ paths?!” She rebuked him.

“Yeah, how dare you running into Nami-san so carelessly?” Sanji followed with a yell of his own.

Zoro tsked and scratched his head in annoyance, but Sanji cared even less than the indifferent he would have been anyway about him being sandwiched between the two of them.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” She demanded, holding Zoro’s sides and turning him to her.

Zoro grunted again, this time like she was straining all the muscles in his body just by rotating him on his axis. Startled, Nami let go of him- but simply realizing her hands was like letting go of a swing that was spun 180 degrees, as in an instant he was turning his back on her, facing against the backside of the ship.

Everyone silently stared at him for a while, until Chopper started freaking out of the blue.

“Is it- Could it be- Th-that’s bad! Where’s the doctor?!”

“Calm down Chopper and tell us what’s wrong!” Usopp entreated him tiredly.

“Ahh, sorry!” Chopper circled Zoro, who still did not bother to change his position back, to be able to face him. “Zoro, yesterday when we split in the island and you wandered by yourself, did you come across sunflower seeds, or something similar, while exploring the island?”

“Yeah, I helped some old lady carrying her groceries, then the garden kept leading me to her backyards where there were flower plots, so it tempted me to try some. Why?”

Sanji felt a squeeze inside his stomach, but just like every time Zoro’s words affected him like that, he made himself to ignore it. He should know better than react that way to such an idiot who would not admit he got lost in a porch, for fuck’s sake.

“Then it is serious!” Chopper squealed and put both paws on his face.

Sanji patted him on his head, trying to soothe him as much as he could. “What it is then?”

“I’ve noticed the sunflowers here are a rare species of a clan-type.”

“Clan-type?” Robin parroted him with an inauspicious voice.

Chopper nods. “It is kind of plants which try to make other living beings to become like them instead of naturally reproducing. Luckily, this species is too weak to actually make a human into a flower, and maybe this is why the locals allowed themselves to grow them for their beauty. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t succeed to leave any effect at all.”

“Eh? But he still looks normal!” Luffy wondered as he searched for anything outstanding all over Zoro’s body, who was losing his patience by the minute.

“Didn’t you notice? As long as he sees it, Zoro can only face the sun!”

Sanji cannot help himself but losing it.

For the following days, Zoro spends even more of the day in the crow’s nest. He even stops looking for booze, too, as he has to make sure he drinks just as much as his body needs to deal with the amount of sweat he perspires during his workout, so unlike the first morning he will be able to hold it until the sun is down, when he finally can go out.

Since Nami asked Sanji so, he prepares breakfast for Zoro earlier than everyone, just before the sun is up, and delivers him lunch while everyone eats inside the galley.

Sanji understands it is serious, especially as out on the sea, the next battle can happen at any given moment; not only everyone will have to have Zoro’s back, the proud bastard will not even let them cover for him that easily himself.

In the meantime, though, he still takes advantage of that to make fun of Zoro every time. He cannot be blamed for not being able to stay quiet with a - now literally - moss-for-brain guy, who could not even figure out himself that the sunflower seeds he has eaten just before it all started were the reason for it.

As the sunflowers act the way they do because they know what is best for themselves, even without consciousness, that man is officially dumber than a plant.

“Enjoy your meal- unless you’re already full by photosynthesis,” he wishes him the first time he brings him lunch.

“It’s exactly noon, so make sure to warn us when you sense a Knock-Up Stream, South Bird,” he cheerfully remarks another time as he brings him a snack.

“Maybe you should consider renaming this one after Thousand Sunny instead,” he notes at one of the time he comes back to take the dishes, while Zoro was practising the movement of the 1080 Pound Ho technique with weights.

For the last bad pun Sanji actually has to dodge an attack directed at him, and each time it is still worth it. After all, if he has somehow spent the entire first day under the effect of the seeds facing the sun, which allowed him to find the right path back to the ship even later than usual, without getting his face burn- then at least Sanji can amuse himself by attempting getting his face red himself.

Although while not finding it as cute as it is amusing, of course. Not at all.

At any case, the rest of the crew takes their part in toying with the current member to get into an unfortunate situation, so Sanji is afraid he will soon run out of original good material himself - only Usopp, for example, has used up anything clever you could make with a comparison to the Sunlight Tree Eve - but that until Chopper gets concerned about the lack of vitamin D Zoro will soon suffer from, as it is not clear when the effect will go away, and orders him to take his naps outside.

Luffy and Usopp get bored of it quickly, as the sun moves too slowly for the direction Zoro’s head leans to noticeably enough, but Sanji still manages to entertain himself with trying to guess the time according to the direction Zoro’s head is tilted to.

But that also means he stares at him more as he sleeps, and perhaps Sanji does more damage to himself than good while suddenly noticing how beautiful Zoro’s face are, once he is too peaceful to distract Sanji with some sort of annoyance. It even exposes some of his soft side he usually does not show, well hidden behind the stiffness the usually carries himself with.

Sanji is reminded of one of those rare times, where they got stuck with each other as circumstances made them split together from the rest of the crew; as they walked by a small waterfall, Sanji’s eyes caught a small rainbow it created. He got closer to make it illuminate over his hand, and only by luck Zoro was still not that far away once he raised his head to look for him. He called him, intentionally to warn him to not drift away- but was then surprised when the swordsman not only was marvelled once he noticed Sanji’s his finding, but was interested enough that he got closer to take a better look, touching Sanji’s hand in the process. Sanji somehow avoided jerking away, but it did make his gaze to lock on the full exposure of Zoro’s long, moss-green eyelashes as he was looking down. The way their arcs were as perfectly round as the sincere, more unalloyed than his katanas smile stretching beneath them caught Sanji’s breath. He had seen him smiling astonishedly like that before, like when they arrived at Water 7, but had never thought he would have ever care to share it with him.

Then the singular hazel eye looked back at him, which may have carried less variety of shades than a rainbow, but the natural phenomenon still had nothing in comparison to the depth and strength of the overall tone.

Okay, that is it, he should stop wasting time on bittersweet memories and focus on important issues, especially those which will actually grant him happiness, like making drinks for the ladies.

He manages to actually lose those previous thoughts in his new occupation, that he even manages to not pay attention to Zoro as he leaves a drink beside him, and passes him to Nami and Robin- the only targets that should matter.

And that is why it takes another whole day for anyone to notice that he became the one according to whom Zoro’s body changes the angle it is facing, overcoming even the sun’s position, whenever he is near him.

“Best. Development. Ever!” Usopp cries, rolling on the ship’s lawn while holding his sides.

“How the hell having our Swordsman losing control over his body is a good development?!” Nami scolds after him.

Luffy, who has been crossing the grass back and forth just like Usoop, suddenly clashes into the other- but it does not stop the two of them to bark out in yet another wave of laughter.

“We should find a yellow ball on the next island to throw at the Marines so he could fight them,” their Captain finally suggests.

“Great idea, so very helpful,” Nami sighs as she walks up to the duo to give them their justified punches.

Sanji has never had any special thought about his hair, really - unlike someone else’s, it is actually a completely normal one - but that situation makes him to actually wish it was not yellow.

Not that it means he plans to dye it to anything else, of course.

“Why doesn’t anyone listen to me?!” Chopper waves his arms helplessly, and jumps for a good effort. “It can’t be about Sanji’s hair resembling the sun!”

Zoro groans. “Either way, Cook- why don’t you go there too so I can give them a piece of my mind too!”

“Tch, good-for-nothing Marimo.” Sanji lights up a cigarette as he remains standing. “Now I won’t be able to stand close to either Nami-san or Robin-chan, for who knows how long, in case you’ll hurt them accidentally.”

“Won’t happen as long as you don’t give me a reason to try going after you, Ero-Cook.”

Sanji jumps in front of Zoro at once, pressing him against the wall with his foot on his chest. “You mean you actually won’t even try to control yourself when you have a lady in view?!”

Zoro holds his leg and tries to shove it off of himself, but that also means he has to try incline to another way; as he is physically not able to face a point even a little skewed from the one Sanji is at, an attempt like that is clearly utterly impossible- or at least looks to be as painful as trying to twist one’s hand beyond its maximum flexibility point.

Sanji smirks triumphantly. “Well, at least you finally won’t be able to ignore the truth anymore while it is standing right in your face.”

“What truth? That your women-obsession is a much more ridiculous sickness than mine?”

“What was that - ?!“

“ - Didn’t you hear me? I told you to stop it!” Chopper, in his grown Heavy Point form, comes to stand aside them and force Sanji to step back. “I finally figured it out- it’s adrenaline!”

“Huh?”

“His body can't absorb light, so it searched for the next closest thing- something that drives itself to accelerate energy creation through cellular respiration, and I think it found it in the rush of adrenaline Zoro has been triggered to experience during all the times you angered him recently. You’ve teased him more than everyone when you came every day to bring him his meals.”

“That might be true,” Brook comments, “but when we tried earlier, Zoro was back to being attracted to the sun whenever Sanji was gone out of his sight. Even while searching for alternatives, it still doesn’t solve the original problem.”

“That’s true,” Chopper nods, “but I still think that it’s still progress. Soon his body will understand that the best way to get energy is through food alone, and will teach itself to get over that added instinct, just like there are a lot of instincts the human body forgets as we grow up.”

All the while they discuss this, Zoro has his eye closed so he will not have to stare directly as Sanji, who knows that he will not be able to get on with it for long himself. While he is currently not the one to be stuck in a state he cannot get away from, it can soon be him if Zoro will start finding things he could use to his disadvantage, like that time he caught him off-guard by the waterfall.

“Anyway, I’ll go hang back at the galley, where I better keep staying out of the zone of staring creepers,” he declares as he starts making his way back to the kitchen, even though it is too early for any dinner preparations.

“Like having to look at your swirly eyebrows the entire day doesn’t creep me out,” Zoro murmurs as his body spins in accordance with Sanji’s advance, which Sanji senses on his back way too well. Another roar of laughter commences, but is cut short as Sanji finally closes the door behind him- living the two boys in the direction of the sun fully exposed to the Swordsman’s range of attack.

Sanji puffs out smoke in relief. Being away from a compassionless eye constantly following and judging him, now he can finally think clearly: while he does not turn down Chopper’s speculation completely, Sanji still has a feeling there is something else that Zoro’s instincts connect between the sun and himself, even if not the shared colour.

Going over any association he has about the sun which he can somehow be also linked to him, he finds quicker than he would think an idea with a considerable possibility, and he is not happy when the solution he comes out with intensifies it on his face.

Unless he comes out with a better idea, though, or somehow he will be miraculously proven wrong even before that- he knows he will have no choice but to try it.

He waits until the next day’s sunrise, since the last dinner’s attempt has proven that Sanji still affects him even after the sun has sunk completely below the horizon, to the point the cook had to go out of his own kitchen to let him eat in peace.

While Zoro technically can get around with his eye closed whenever Sanji is visible to him, his lack of sense of direction for sure will take a disastrous turn.

Chopper volunteered to carry his next meals - Luffy tried to too, but everyone was too smart than letting him touch food that is not on his own plate - and Sanji hopes that it will not be the only excuse to not have to see Zoro, well, just about ever again in case he is wrong.

Sanji takes his morning preparation slower than usual, but inevitably, the time eventually arrives.

Despite peeking inside his pack of cigarettes, to make sure it is not empty, he throws the one he has smoked until that moment without taking a new one; he will have to face this situation head-on.

Getting out, he moon-walks his way to the crow’s nest.

Probably sensing him in advance, Zoro is standing where he can match the line of the sun, shining through the window, while having his back to the entrance when Sanji makes its way through.

“There’s no need to test it again every day, so just leave,” Zoro asserts.

Sanji sighs, as he for once wants to listen to Zoro so much. “Not before I try something I’ve thought about.”

“And since when do you have good ideas?”

Sanji crosses his arms. “When I rescued you from Crocodile’s cage? When I delayed Enel’s ark by attacking his engines before facing him? When I opened Enis Lobby’s Gates of Justice? Starting to find a pattern yet, human-plant? ”

A few beats pass, but finally Zoro’s shoulders slump with a sigh. “Fine, you have good strategies, but only when you’re unseen. Isn’t that part of the pattern too?”

“There’s no point if I don’t return to the light again, as much as you hate it.” Sanji rounds Zoro to meet a suspicious, unwelcoming eye that hopefully only hides the truth he has once witnessed from it, back at the waterfall. “Supposedly.”

“Eh - ?” Zoro opens his mouth to utter, luckily, and by that makes the task easier for Sanji, as he can immediately use it to grab his face and meshed his own mouth to his.

Zoro tries to hum something, but Sanji has to make sure he acts as thoroughly as possible before he is thrown away through the window, and with each press of lips tries his best to make a profound contact, so the instinct holding Zoro captive will not be able to miss it.

Once overcoming his initial surprise, Zoro starts to react back with just as much force, not willing to let him take full leading so easily.

Instead of relief, like any normal person would feel for the cooperation, Sanji actually enjoys it. Thanks to becoming breathless, though, he does not have to face the painful temptation stretch it further than needed.

He somehow remembers then that he should check the results, as it was nothing but an experiment, and start jumping between different spots around Zoro.

“What the hell?” Zoro gasps, his head moving back and forth as he tries to catch a glimpse of him.

Grinning, Sanji stands right behind him and shifts him around. “It worked!”

Zoro blinks, but then stares out of the window he is now facing, which is finally not the wrong one to him, but just another window. A smile that only a free man can make is slowly drawn across his face, and he even releases a rare laugh that pulls at Sanji’s stomach much more than it should.

“How did you know what to do?” Zoro asks him.

Sanji slowly lets go of Zoro, eyes darting elsewhere. He clears his throat and lights up a cigarette, at long last.

“Unlike what Chopper said, I don’t think I annoyed you to the point your instinct will see me as a trigger to create energy, but that your body made it figure out that this is a human body, and you need the sun mainly for warmth- although it is something you get more effectively by a contact with someone else.” Sanji walks over to a window, although not one where the sun is seen; he is not that cold. “I’m the one who happens to touch you the most, during our quarrels, so I figured that was the reason you fixed on me, so I wanted to make sure you felt my warmth as effectively as possible.”

“Body warmth, huh…” Zoro mutters behind him.

They fall into silence, which Sanji desperately wants to get away from, but has no idea how to get out. Going near Zoro, ironically, has become intolerable.

“No, it’s both,” Sanji suddenly hears the other man says behind him, following by footsteps coming closer.

Sanji takes a long drag on his cigarette, and closes his eyes.

“Whether I liked it or not, you’ve been central in my life on this ship. All the times you got me to heat up, you influenced me to train even harder. I don’t depend on it, but by this point, it is almost as vital for me as the sense of Nakamaship I’ve developed."

Sanji huffs. “The point was that you’re a muscle-brain anyway.”

“Shut up, dumbass. I’ve simply persisted to one specific path - ”

This time, Sanji snorts.

“ - which made it hard for me to see alternative ones,” Zoro finishes explaining his insight, although a bit too annoyed for someone who has experienced one. It is not like Sanji want to ruin this moment for Zoro, but he has to get back on track, right after messing with their status quo.

This is how they communicate, and this is how it shall stay. Being able to fantasize a much more meaningful future with him than with anyone he has ever attempted to attach himself to does not matter.

“But since you keep trying multiple ones for no reason,” Zoro suddenly continues, “maybe combining to find a balance it will make you finally stop pretending like another person is better than you just by being born with the right set of milk glands.”

Sanji snaps his eyes open at that, forgetting all about his discomfort he has felt until just a second ago and coming forehead-to-forehead with Zoro. “Oi, just because you don’t appreciate that doesn’t mean you can talk about it like its speciality is unadmirable like that green head of yours.”

“It doesn’t matter what it is- you can keep pampering women, if it makes you happy like cooking for anyone regardless of gender. But you can’t let this cost your self-worth.”

The smoke from Sanji’s cigarette blocks his view, so he takes it out of his mouth for now. “Well, you did help to raise it during the last few days while I was constantly reminded of that stupid mistake you’ve done on a whim that I’ll never do, and I don’t see how cherishing women is beneath that. Then what do you suggest?”

“Blocking your path and see what you do about it.”

Before Sanji knows it, Zoro’s palms are on the back of his head and he is being pushed forward until their lips meet again, though this time for something simpler that still leaves the both of them frozen to their spot for the few seconds it lasts.

Shocked, Sanji tries to connect the different points that brought them to this- because if he has kissed Zoro to help him break through the seeds’ effect, Zoro has to have his own legitimate reason for this. He may not be dumb enough to force him like that to stop his so-called women problem, but it is too surreal for him that it could be what it looks to mean. How could anyone want him and yet trust him so much that they will not care about his admiring attitude toward others?

But Zoro’s eye, while not looking at him as tenderly as one would expect from someone with sentimental meanings behind this kind of action, is assuring it in his own way by staring at him with his frank, unreserved expression.

“Finally it looks like I'm the only one who was warmed,” Zoro smirks as he trails his fingers on Sanji’s burning cheeks.

“Shut up, shitty bastard,” Sanji murmurs as he flicks his hand away, but ultimately let Zoro’s fingers to comb some of his shiny hairs.

“Same to you, asshole.”

~~~

Finally able to enjoy the sun properly, Zoro thinks back to the period of his life as a wanderer, where many times he had to walk under the warmth of the sun with hunger eating him from the inside.

Later, soon after joining Luffy’s crew, not only he did not have to worry about that- but he could actually build muscle more effectively, with no worry that his body would resist it- all thanks to one pesky, obnoxious cook coming abroad.

Even if there was a proper way to truly return him the favour, Zoro is not one to express that deep kind of gratitude directly, obviously, but since he happens to be the first one to get back to the ship from a stroll, for a change - even while the sun already barely presents in the sky - and only Sanji is there, as he stayed to look after the ship, he still wants to communicate it somehow.

He finds him leaning against the railing, watching the sea, and does not turn around as Zoro gets closer. The latter embraces him from behind with one hand, and turning his hair aside with the other so he could mouth the skin behind his ear.

Sanji sunk in a sharp breath, but his voice is mostly levelled when he speaks. “Are you bored?”

Despite Sanji is still uncertain about what they have started, as it is still too fresh for him- Zoro keeps being patient about it as usual: “No.”

“Then what's that about?”

Zoro smirks into his skin. “Isn't it clear by now? Disturbing you is always too tempting.”

“I thought you prefer doing that by picking on me until we start fighting.”

“Maybe, but that's when your mood is neutral.” He slowly nips his ear shell. “Now you're peaceful.”

Sanji is right by most probably figuring out that Zoro does not really have romantic moods, where all he wants is to be the man who initiates nice settings. He is a spontaneous kind of guy: he lets life lead him to find in a new island’s market something that the cook would like to receive only by a chance, and will not pull him to a place with unconventional, noteworthy settings, whatever that counts as, as letting it naturally occur around them is much better.

Just like waterfall creating a rainbow.

But when something reminds him of Sanji, he simply cannot help but look for him, no matter whether they end up trying to tear each other’s throats - and no matter what, there are still times where the cook makes him see red - or other behaviours that have to do with their proximity which feeds his satisfaction.

Because, as great as watching the sharpness in his eyes every time he uses an opportunity to drive him up the wall- being absorbed in the warmth of his smell and taste is quite remarkable, too.

“Sun's coming down,” Sanji mentions latterly.

Zoro hums into his shoulder agreement, even though he could care less about it so long Sanji is still there.

#zosan #zosan ficlet #my writing #marimo!zoro #plant!zoro

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cindylouwho-2 · 5 years

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RECENT NEWS, RESOURCES & STUDIES, December 2019

Welcome to my latest summary of recent news, resources & studies including search, analytics, content marketing, social media & ecommerce! This covers articles I came across since the October report, although some may be older than that.

I am also missing a lot here, but pared it down somewhat to make more readable. The lead up to the holiday shopping season was a lot crazier than I expected 🙃

Given the time of year, please do not expect another report until January. However, I will do brief posts of important news/blog posts in the interim as needed.

There are going to be big changes to this report coming in 2020. Have any suggestions or feedback? Leave a comment below, email me through my website, or send me a message on Twitter.

TOP NEWS & ARTICLES

You are going to need to add Etsy’s tax ID to customs forms on New Zealand orders as of Dec. 1. Etsy’s ID is: 122-669-18.

FTC issues huge fines for selling fake likes & followers on social media, and for posting fake reviews online. “The [likes and followers] case could pave the way for further legal action on the same grounds, using the Devumi case as precedent. Indeed, shortly after the initial finding by the NY Attorney General, Facebook announced that it was moving ahead with legal action against several providers which it had found to be dealing in fake social media engagement.”

Everyone should read this article, if only to learn what not to do: Using “priming” to convert more buyers/users is a crucial marketing tactic.”Priming works by using associations made in our subconscious, and are almost always unnoticeable to the subject.” Example: “During a study, researchers approached customers in an electronics store, who’d entered to buy a new laptop.Half of the customers were asked what their memory needs were, and the other half were asked what their processor needs were...The group who were asked about memory, bought computers with higher memory and the group who were asked about processor speed, bought computers with much higher processor speeds.”

Etsy removed the word “Bugs” from the Bugs forum, & admits they will only will be monitoring it from 9-5 Etsy time (ET) Monday to Friday. They won’t be replying, but expect “hundreds of sellers” to do that job for them, unpaid. If you have an issue, you will now need to email through the Contact page, use the new 24 hour live chat, or phone them. [Note the parts they aren’t mentioning - Support is taking over a week to reply to emails right now, live chat will only be able to help with the simplest of questions (e.g., how do I change my email address?) & it is possible to spend over an hour on hold when you phone. You could spend quite a bit of money on long distance fees, especially if you are in a country that doesn’t have its own phone number, all for something you used to be able to get for free in the forum, sometimes on the same day. This is Etsy’s definition of “major improvements”.]

Check out this proposed US legislation, which wants large internet companies [yes, Etsy fits their definition] to reveal their algorithms & offer visitors a version with no “filter bubble.” You might not like Etsy search now, but I can guarantee it would become impossible if they removed all of the algorithm factors. [This editorial is a bit over the top, but does cover some of the key questions.]

ETSY NEWS

Items have been disappearing from a small number of Etsy searches since July, & Etsy still won’t tell us what is going on. If you discover you are affected, please let me know.

There have been a few threads on Etsy sending threatening emails about shops being below Etsy’s customer service expectations, often for just a few bad feedbacks or cases, which has shocked many long time sellers (even though they have been sending them for years; it appears they have decreased the number of “problems” you need to have to get an email.) Without announcing anything, Etsy released a page of “seller service level standards” that can help explain what they are looking for, namely cases & 1-2 star reviews, as well as the exact formula they use. I started a discussion thread here, & in case Etsy deletes comments in the thread, here is the dashboard showing your score. (Some people cannot make that link work; Etsy says only shops that received a warning can see it.) My blog post is here.

I summarized the 3rd quarter report here, and Etsy summarized it here. The stock market is not happy with management at the moment, with Morgan Stanley this past week stating that they expected Etsy’s 4th quarter to be worse than originally predicted, due to state sales tax laws and Etsy’s reduction in its Google Shopping ad buying. Note Etsy removed the “priority placement” for US free shipping about a week after the 3rd Q report, without any announcement, probably due to the blowback about it reducing first page conversions. (They didn’t announce anything; it just disappeared.)

Cyber Week traffic on Etsy was more than double what they saw on the average summer day.

They did a Q & A thread on the new stats, which wasn’t particularly useful. They admitted they intentionally removed the keyword & other data prior to November 2017 because “older data periods are less comparable to current stats”. [I believe that is code for “we’re too cheap to pay for the storage; investors need their payouts.”] They did finally add YOY comparisons back in a few weeks ago.

Etsy has again changed a few category & attribute options, including more baby stuff.

They did a holiday gift shopping promotion where people could call Etsy & get suggestions for gifts on Nov. 5. All gifts shipped free, so non-free shipping shops were not included. “It could also be a case study for personalization efforts to come from the long-running handmade marketplace.”

You’ve probably already noticed that Convos are now called Messages, but here is the announcement with the details just in case.

Etsy ran an Etsy search critique thread on November 13; the thread wasn't particularly useful, as almost all the staff who do the critiques aren’t experts in search. Basically, they say to use all of your tags, avoid repeating words in tags & titles, have 3-4 short phrases in your title, use commas in your titles (”Buyer research shows that using commas instead of dashes helps titles appear more clean and readable”), offer free shipping, and use all of your photos. The big takeaway for me was - they think we all have unlimited photography budgets, models, and time to do different modelled photos for every listing (including at the beach! LOL), photos of each of our different pieces in progress, photos of us working, & photos of each type of packaging. Needless to say, none of those things are bad if you have gobs of time or the money to pay someone to do all of that. But if you are like me and are a one-person business, live in a small condo, don’t have the strength to take photos all day, don’t have an abundance of people to model when I am taking photos (i.e., people I know have real jobs & aren’t around when I work on photos), and don’t have anyone to take photos of me making things, then this is pretty laughable. I wouldn't even consider doing all of this for my 5 best selling listings, never mind all 430+. YMMV. [The repeated mentions of process photos makes me worry they will be requiring those for everyone at some point …but I am sure I am just being paranoid.] One notable error was telling someone to use “color” (the US spelling) instead of “colour” (the proper English spelling) because the shop’s language settings were US English - Etsy currently treats these both the same, so there is no issue at the moment. Are they trying to give us a hint about something?

SEO: GOOGLE & OTHER SEARCH ENGINES

Introducing BERT: Google’s new technology to help organic search process natural language better. This isn’t likely a change you can optimize for, but it should help searchers get more relevant results for complicated queries. “Here is an example of Google showing a more relevant featured snippet for the query “Parking on a hill with no curb”. In the past, a query like this would confuse Google’s systems. Google said, “We placed too much importance on the word “curb” and ignored the word “no”, not understanding how critical that word was to appropriately responding to this query. So we’d return results for parking on a hill with a curb.” Moz’s Whiteborad Friday covered the basics. [warning - some bits are advanced. Just skip those if you need to.] A study said BERT still isn’t very good at understanding “not” and other negatives. The NY Times may be one of the sites that is affected.

If you were disappointed when keyword research tool Keywords Everywhere became a paid tool, a new alternative has been released. Note that Keyword Surfer is still in beta. I’m going to try it for a bit and write up a short report if I think it is worth using. (The traffic estimates are way off, as in almost 10 times too low, for the sites I have info on.) If you try it, let me know what you think!

While we are on the topic, here’s 13 keyword research errors you don’t want to make. Short takeaways - not every high volume keyword phrase will work for your specific product, don't ignore long tail, and make sure you look at the search results for any keyword before you decide to use it.

Here’s another keyword and topic research tool that compiles questions people search along with a relationship tree so you can see how ideas are connected.

More common SEO problems with ecommerce sites.

If you code your own website, check out the new Google instructions on writing your organic search snippets. Note this is supposedly only about display & not about ranking.

Improve your Instagram traffic with 8 SEO tips for your profile and posts.

Which is better for SEO - Squarespace or WordPress? The results are likely skewed by the fact that “platforms like Wix and Squarespace tend to attract less SEO-savvy people than WordPress.” They agree with what I have been saying for a while: if you know what you're doing, Squarespace sites can rank just fine.

Excellent tips on how good SEO also helps you comply with US disability access laws.

The latest on Google updates - there was apparently one around November 7. This one may have hit affiliate websites more than other types.

The Wall Street Journal wrote an article claiming Google manipulated search results to favour its interests & those of its advertisers, including eBay. [The original article is behind a paywall; the link is in that news coverage.] However, many in the SEO community - most of whom are not usually reluctant to criticize Google when they are behaving poorly - feel the article is way off base, & demonstrates a fundamental lack of knowledge of how Google works. Barry Schwartz of Search Engine Land & Search Engine Roundtable even did interviews with t WSJ staff for the article, and was amazed at how much they got wrong. “Even a basic understanding of the difference between organic listings (the free search results) and the paid listings (the ads in the search results) eluded them…[Glenn] Gabe told us that not only were his conversations with the paper off-the-record but also that he was misquoted”

CONTENT MARKETING & SOCIAL MEDIA (includes blogging & emails)

Here’s something I don’t see discussed much: using templates (& other consistent branding) in your social media, blog and website posts.

Content hubs are a very useful way to increase your search engine traffic for a core topic while providing a landing page for social media, ads etc.

Good primer here for beginning social media marketing for your business. You’ll need to do more research depending on your target market and what platform/s you choose, but it is definitely a good overview of getting started.

If you think influencer marketing is right for your business, here are 10 places you can find influencers to work with.

Your email subject lines can change the open rates; here are 19 tips to make them more clickable.

Instagram started testing hiding “likes” on posts in the US as of November 11th, & then announced plans to try it out globally. A study on previous tests showed that there may be some effect on influencer engagement.

Facebook has introduced its own payment system, currently in the US only, for limited situations only at the moment.

Reddit is an often overlooked social media platform to use for business but the traffic is strong, so check out these tips on asking it work for your business. [infographic]

ONLINE ADVERTISING (SEARCH ENGINES, SOCIAL MEDIA, & OTHERS)

Pay for online ads (outside of Etsy) but don’t know what negative keywords are? Here’s how to use them with Google.

Hubspot continues their massive rush of “ultimate guides” with everything you wanted to know about Amazon ads.

Facebook now allows you to have different text in the same ads, which can be adjusted for different groups of users.

Amazon is predicted to continue cutting into Google’s online ad dominance through 2021; Google currently has 73% of money spent on online ads in the US.

If you are interested in long term brand building in your advertising, you might be interested in this article, where Adidas admits it was ignoring brand ads & pushing instant returns for too long.

Just in time for the holidays, Google Merchant Center rolled out a bunch of upgrades.

Buying TV ad time is losing popularity; it will be less than 25% of all advertising spend in just a few years, while digital spending is now over 50%.

STATS, DATA, OTHER TRACKING

Facebook changed how they count page impressions.

Everything you want to know about the Google Search Console. Oh, and also everything you want to know about the Google Search Console. Which one do you like best? [If you have your own website or freestanding blog and are not using the Console, you probably should be reading both of those. Seriously, just set the darn thing up, then learn how to use it later.]

Also, the Console now features a speed report, and has changed how they send you messages.

ECOMMERCE NEWS, IDEAS, TRENDS

Trend alert: many struggling or failed retailers sell clothing. “This sector is saturated with supply and is arguably over-stored.” … “For younger shoppers, as they choose which apparel brands do get their attention, sustainability and other cultural issues are often at the forefront.”

US sellers can now get discounted UPS rates through Shippo.

A bug is keeping suspended Amazon sellers from being reinstated.

BUSINESS & CONSUMER STUDIES, STATS & REPORTS; SOCIOLOGY & PSYCHOLOGY, CUSTOMER SERVICE

Don’t use these common customer service lines. ...“there are studies that support the use of positive language in customer service. Instead of focusing on what you can’t do for a customer, focus on what you can do. No one likes to be told no.”

Another article on the psychology of colour; beware that some of this is a bit simplistic, as there are always exceptions.

Holiday shopping will push further into December this year, with half starting around Cyber Monday (Dec. 2). 62% of “high spenders” (over $2100 spent on the holidays) will shop on their smart phones. 25% of respondents to this survey said they already started shopping in September. It turns out most people want gift cards, among other stats. Nearly half of US shoppers are more likely to shop with companies that are socially responsible. Mobile shopping is expected to beat desktop shopping for the first time this season. And yes, most Americans expect to add to their credit card debt before January, men more than women.

US retail sales fell 0.3% in September; online sales fell the same amount.

MISCELLANEOUS (including humour)

Trend alert - apparently Generation Z is not big on makeup, and it is affecting large companies’ profits.

Google’s co-founders hand the parent company Alphabet over to the current CEO. They still work for Google and will focus most of their time there.

Google Webmaster spokesperson John Mueller tackles the controversial question - is a hot dog a sandwich? [humour]

#SEO #search engine optimization #search engine marketing #EtsyNews #etsy #analytics #stats #statistics #Social media #contentmarketing #content marketing #Ecommerce #smallbiz #CindyLouWho2NewsUpdates

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patchdotexe · 6 years

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On the topic of collinriddle:

Okay. I said I would do this, and I can’t keep putting it off. In private, I’ve told people that if anything good came out of my abuse it’s that I can use what I learned about it to help other people keep themselves safe from other abusers. And with what happened with collinriddle, and with it a potential risk of this not being a standalone case, it’s time for me to speak up.

I’m Leo, better known as Mun RR on justasksandbeats. I’m 22 years old (turning 23 this summer), so full disclosure, I am an adult, and I know I have minors following me. I try to keep that to a minimum because of the kind of content & humour this blog has, but I can’t really manage my followers on Tumblr as well as I can on Twitter, and it does kind of mean that maybe I’m somebody people will listen to in this situation.

Hearing about Collin mentally sent me back to when I was fourteen. I have met, and been victim to, people like Collin. People who openly create, hoard, and defend fetish content of minors, sometimes even getting minors involved in creation of said content, and then say you can’t blame them, it’s not real, and they’re not even into it anyway they just think it’s “neat”.

If you want more details on what happened to me, you’re welcome to ask. Note that this is not something survivors are normally comfortable with. Not everyone is going to dump their life story at a drop of a hat, and in some cases it may take a while for me to respond if I have to brace myself for digging up memories.

So... here’s an overview of what I’ve learned about this type of person, how they act and cover their tracks, and how to deal with them.

Something I saw a lot last night was people saying Collin was “such a sweet person”, and how they never could have imagined. That’s part of it, unfortunately. My abuser was a nice, funny guy, who was occasionally a bit weird on boundaries but he was a furry in the early 2010s so it was considered normal to be a bit pushy. His odder behaviour got so normalized in our friend group that we just wrote him off whenever he got too weird, or made fun of him in a teasing joking way, and didn’t think about it.

Collin covered his tracks pretty well. From what I can tell, all of his content is on his deviantART, which has since been cleaned out so he can avoid further blame (direct quote from his journal: “all other art remains, as its nothing I can be called a pedo for.”) instead of acknowledging his actions are fucked up. He has no remorse, he just wants people to stop yelling at him without thinking about why this is happening. Note: his favourites are still full of this content, he’s just removed everything he drew himself.

What this means is that, until I was shown his dA page, I had zero idea at all. Same with the rest of you, I’m sure. Collin considered it a side interest so he kept it away from all of his friends on here, and from what I understand he also hid it from his boyfriend at the time. (I haven’t asked Wicked about it because I figure if he wants to share the details, he will. I don’t want to press him.)

I’ve screencapped this to make sure it exists in case he deletes it:

“I simply find transformations as an interesting concept.” Collin justifies himself with “I’m not REALLY into it, I just think it’s interesting”. This is what I was told over and over by the people around me when I was being sexually abused. I was asked to draw straight-up fetish porn (none of which I’m going to share even if asked because I’d rather not look at it) but told it was just because he thought the ideas or designs were neat, so I didn’t think too much about it and no one else around me objected despite this often happening in public art streams. (My boyfriend can verify, if he wants to.)

...weirdly enough, the porn I was manipulated into drawing was also inflation and vore-centric? And some occasional paw fetish stuff. I’m not gonna walk out of this saying “furries bad”, but there are some major problems in the furry fandom with fetish culture and how it gets into fucked up territories affecting real-life people while being behind the guise of “it’s fictional”. See: Me, fifteen, drawing this content.

The rest of the journal goes on about how it’s a misconception and he’s so sad he lost friends, and he’s sorry he looks like a creep, and he’s sorry for the inconvenience that he’s... no longer drawing or posting fetish content. LOL OKAY. There’s no real apology here. He’s trying to gain pity (and it looks like it’s worked on at least one person, judging by dA comments) without taking accountability.

They use misinformation and warped stories to get people on their side. Collin is playing this up as people making assumptions about him, and then wiping his gallery so no one can actually see what he’s done. (I’m not sure if he’s going to wipe his favourites or not, but at the time of this post they’re still up, so.) He doesn’t actually think he’s done anything wrong, and his goal is to convince other people that he’s innocent. Don’t engage with him, period. Stay away from him, warn other people to stay away from him. Talking to him will either a) give him more ammo for “people are being so mean to me for no reason” or b) give him an opportunity to flesh out his story more where he is the victim but it’s totally fine because he doesn’t REALLY get off to Ness being turned into a bathing suit for Paula to wear (an actual thing I saw in his gallery) he just likes drawing it. Stay away from him.

Fiction affects reality. I was abused, and had no idea I was because I was told it was fine, and normal, and shown all these other cases of it being Fine And Normal, nevermind the fact that I was a minor drawing and roleplaying things meant for an adult’s (18 year old) sexual satisfaction. Collin is not the only person like this out there. They may be nice, and friendly, and even have a cute persona, but if you get weird vibes from them: keep your distance. Watch them. Look them up on other sites if you have to. See how they react to this information. See who sides with him and why.

(note: I understand that there are people who straight up don’t want to engage with any of this, and I don’t blame them. Leave them out of this. This is a fucked up situation, someone that was a present member of the community has literally just been outed as a pedophile in a fandom with a lot of minors, so it’s not wrong of them to go “I don’t support him but I don’t want to see this”, especially if they’re minors themselves.)

If you have any questions, my inbox is open.

#txt #leo chirps #just shapes and beats #collinriddle

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the-colony-roleplay · 6 years

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THREAD TRACKING, DMS/ASKS & CONSIDERATE ROLEPLAYING

Hey kiddlies!

So, I wanted to take this time to address a couple of small things that have been brought to my attention lately. As all of you know, here at the Colony we pride ourselves on our exceptional inclusivity, friendliness and sense of community support. When new members who join the family stay and feel a part of the team, it is thanks to how much we, as an entire unit, prioritize making sure new members know just how enthused we are to have them here, as well as reaching out to help engage them into our ongoing plots and into the verse.

As an extensive worldbuilding RP with many long-term members, we know that it can be intimidating to get started when you’re new to the verse, so this is a huge factor in why we are still successful today and how we continue to grow and evolve as a unified, loving community. You are also all aware of the kinds of attitudes we don’t condone here, and can sometimes be rampant in the RPC. We believe that the key to forming a unified, safe and long-lasting roleplay is by prioritizing what I sometimes call the ‘rule of the three Cs’: collaboration, communication, and consideration.

Consideration is a big one. Because I can not tell you the amount of RPs I have joined and been disappointed by by the sheer self-involved mentality of individual members—or the amount of times I’ve heard horror stories from all of you. Yes, roleplay is meant to be fun, it is a pastime—but because group RPs are, by nature, an activity of collaboration, they literally only work when you can consider the perspectives, feelings and positions of everyone in it with you. Like a true team. I know... most of you are probably not sports players (lol) but if you can imagine being on a basketball team where no one considered every teammate equally, and put their own egos aside to play as a team, well—they would never win anything. Ever. Also, (and possibly more importantly, because nothing in RP is a competition or about ‘wining’): they would never have any fun.

Now, I’m bringing all this up, not because anyone has done anything wrong or against these practices, but because I want you all to understand why I believe this RP stands out the way it does, why we continue to foster and grow, and why I take the team-player aspect and consideration of others so seriously. Because it is literally the foundation on which this unique community is built on. We are very aware of how problematically inconsiderate so many RPs can be, and how disheartening it is to feel like you are being ignored or excluded, or like people are not interested in writing with you.

SOME CONCERNS & PLATFORM ISSUES

So, with all that said, I’m sure you will all understand why I take any complaints about lack of communication or feeling left out very seriously. Fortunately, we hear almost exclusively positive feedback in terms of communication and members feeling not just included, but all around adored and supported. We could not be prouder of each and every one of you for making this RP the safe place that it is. However, with recent issues and glitches with the tumblr platform certainly not helping matters, there have been a couple of patterns flagged recently and brought to Mod attention, involving the dropping of threads and lack of replying to DMs or asks.

Now, I do know that this is probably mostly due to the activity notification thing shitting the bed (thanks tumblr), as well as the unreliability (is that a word?) of notifications for DMs and Asks. However, I’m going to address it anyway, mention a few tips that may help us work around the platform’s glitches, and also just be more personally mindful and responsible.

So, being mindful to check your replies, your messages, your threads—it’s all part of being a considerate and responsible RPer, and someone who is able to function in a team environment. And it’s so, so important to remember that being considerate of others is not a single-lane highway. It doesn’t only apply to not dropping threads and replying to messages—it also applies to being allowed to drop threads if you need to, to being met with understanding if you are feeling overwhelmed, or have fallen behind or lost muse, etc. This is important because we do not want anyone to be afraid to say anything to help themselves because they are too concerned about hurting someone’s feelings. In fact, the most mature and polite thing to do, and the kind of conduct we expect from each and every one of you, is that you treat people with the same respect and understanding you would want to be treated with. And that includes patience, as much as it does communication and consideration.

Again, I really want to stress how unbelievably proud I am of this community and of everything that you all do to take care of each other. There isn’t a single person here who I think would ever intentionally ignore someone or drop threads or be inconsiderate and I literally have never been in another RP that has felt as kind and warm as you people make this place. So seriously, thank you so much.

But I’m sure that it also makes sense to you why I absolutely will not tolerate behaviour that is exclusive or inconsiderate of others under any circumstances. If I’m hearing that people’s messages are getting ignored consistently, or that people are skipping or dropping threads consistently without contacting the people they are RPing with about it, then I have cause for concern.

Fortunately, I know the lot of you well enough that I trust that these few circumstances that have arisen are likely thanks to inconsistent tumblr notifications, at best, and at worst, simple absent mindedness we are all guilty of from time to time!

So without further adieu...

THREAD TRACKING TIPS AND TRICKS! WEE!!

So, in terms of threads—if you know you are losing track of things, just be mindful to keep an open dialogue with your fellow RPers, and do not just rely on the notification panel in tumblr. (Dear God, please don’t, it’s the actual worst). A good trick I find useful is to check out your own character blog (or character-exclusive posts but on the dash, if you know what i’m referring to, I never know how to explain that, haha)—take the ten extra seconds to remind yourself who you’ve been RPing with the past couple of weeks, because that’s often how I find accidentally missed threads. This kind of thinking and mindfulness just makes it easier to keep up with things. And remember! Everyone misses stuff sometimes! It happens to the best of us (including your ol’ Papa!Mod) so when it does happen, just be proactive and reach out to whoever you’re RPing with. Or, if it happens to you, don’t be afraid to connect with your fellow RPer and touch base about a thread’s status.

I have also heard really good things about Rp Thread Tracker, which I know some of you use already. Now, some of you may be worried that it will be too complicated or too much of a hassle to set up, and so you avoid it, (which has been the case/reasoning with myself) but I’ve been assured by several people that although they had the same concerns, the set up is super easy, only takes a few minutes, and is kind of a life safer. It also is actually possible to track multiple threads based off one open starter—once you get the replies it’s just a matter of setting it up to be tracked.

So, you can find that tool here, if you are interested in using it. But you can also check out this tutorial if you want to get an idea of how it works, or help setting it up for yourself! Of course, this is not by any means mandatory, but it is a really good option for people who might be interested, and something I think a lot of you might want to consider if you have a hard time tracking!

I think one of the great things about this community is there has never had to be a.... hard rule about replying to threads in order or anything like that. Partly because a) that’s kind of impossible to manage and guarantee and b) we do want to be flexible for muse and time and all kinds of things like that! After all, writing and creativity is not a hard science! But one thing members here have always done really really well, is just being naturally considerate of your RP partners, giving them a head’s up if you’re needing more time to figure out how to reply to their thread, and doing your best to not skip threads consistently. (Skipping threads on a consistent basis in favour of only replying to a select few characters would constitute as bubble RPing, but fortunately, that has never been a problem here.)

However, we always want to avoid making anyone feel ignored or hurt, by skipping their replies—so please, if you are struggling with muse for certain threads, do not be afraid to be honest with your RP partner about it. They will understand and will feel much better knowing it’s not something personal, or something they did, or like you simply aren’t interested in writing with them. As a member of Colony 22, we will hold you to your ability to be mature and considerate of others. It is by far one of our most important requirements. And since I know you are all the nicest, sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing with, I want all of you to pay close attention to occasions or habits that have the potential of being misconstrued as hurtful or negligent.

DMS AND ASKS: OOC COMMUNICATION

So this is all pretty self explanatory, and verging on repetitive as much of what’s been covered above applies here as well. And just to be even more repetitive (because it’s a thing I do super well apparently), I am so unbelievably impressed with everyone’s attitudes and contribution here, so my bringing this up is more in the interest of calling attention to habits that may have formed that could be interpreted as hurtful by other members, even if that is not the intention!

So, if tumblr notifications with DMs are letting you down, or you know you’re likely liable to forget to reply to things if you see them on your phone, try to be mindful of checking things like that next time you log in. Take responsibility to check messages you might have missed, or forgotten to reply to when you were out and about and busy with life as we know it.

Now, this is coming from a person who can’t stand phone notifications. If you message me while I’m busy or on my phone, I probably will not reply to you because ~anxiety~. And hey, so many of us have it, so we all get it, you know? So not to worry. But that just means that the considerate thing to do in return of being treated with compassion and understanding by others, is to make sure to double check those things when we do have time. Make sure we aren’t leaving anyone hanging. Because another thing I absolutely will not tolerate in this RP is people ignoring messages about threads or plotting requests etc. Just do not do it. This community is your team, your family. This community is my family too, and as a moderator (and Papa!) I am very protective of each and every one of you and your comfort and happiness is of the utmost importance to both Lottie and I.

So if you know you are likely a bit flakey when it comes to responding to messages (it’s okay! it happens!), please take care to amend that. To do what you can to make up for it when you log in at a more convenient time. Get back to people. Do not ignore people. And if you do feel like you are overwhelmed and you need to drop some older threads or anything like that, this is a safe place to do that! You will have moderator support and community support. We have all been there, so there is no need to be worried or afraid of being judged or letting anyone down. It is not that kind of community! So if that happens, and someone is asking about an older thread, please try to feel comfortable being honest with them, and asking for what you need, be it extra time, or to drop it in the interest of focusing on new future things :)

And, if you don’t feel comfortable, for any reason, please know that Lottie and I are here to support you! We have had some of our lovely children come to us before feeling nervous or worried about threads getting backed up or falling behind or lack of muse due to extreme anxiety when looking at their drafts.... and we have always helped them through it! There is a solution, we promise you, and we know that sometimes it just takes a little reminder that yes, it is okay to let things go and that you have literally every person’s support here. No matter what you’re going through, we are here for you; as a mods, and as a community, we will do whatever we can to assist in easing some of your stresses and and getting back to the basics of why you enjoy RP in the first place!

Basically, there is never any excuse to ignore anyone. Be honest, and be mindful, and if you have any trouble, whatever the cause or kind, come to the mods—either individually or to the main, whatever makes you most comfortable. But if I hear of anyone consistently ignoring anyone’s messages it is something I will take seriously as that is not at all being a team player, and I will be forced to have to ask for names and address the issue with that person directly. And no one here wants to call anyone out or throw anyone under the bus or make anyone feel bad, because at the end of day, we all love each other very much—so I’m sure it’s in everyone’s best interest if I don’t have to do that.

IN CLOSING...

Alright, thank you VERY MUCH for taking the time to tread this really long post. Thank you for your understanding, your team work, your love and commitment, your talent and joy. Thank you to those of you who felt comfortable bringing their concerns to my attention, and thank you to everyone for being the supportive and considerate little nerds ya’ll are. The concerns that were brought to me were pretty aware of it likely being a tumblr notif problem, but the people who did mention it to me were more concerned about other people being upset, than themselves. So I think that’s a really stinkin’ good sign of how sweet ya’ll are, and I want you all to know how deeply Lottie and I appreciate you. You are hands down the best, most considerate and fun group of writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing with, and I’m so grateful for you all everyday!

Keep up the fantastic work everybody!! And as always, if anyone has any questions or concerns regarding this post, please do not hesitate to bring them to us. Finally, please be sure to like this post so I know that you’ve read it. Thank you!!

Much love and sparkles!

xxMod!Ro

#col22admin #the three cs #thread tracking

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maiji · 6 years

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“If you could pick 5 members to be on your team in the dark tournament, who would it be?”

So while I was going back through my archives trying to see if I had any incorrectly flagged content (I scrolled all the way to 2015, found three, and gave up/went to bed lol), I kept getting distracted and rereading old posts out of amusement. One of them was this 21 Questions Yu Yu Hakusho meme - and one question in particular made the gears of my brain clank so I thought hey, why not? Let’s answer it.

I'm going to tackle this question from two angles.

A) If I could pick ANY characters in Yu Yu Hakusho to form a team.

B) If I could only pick characters who appear during the actual Dark Tournament.

As soon as you see my first list, you'll understand why I was like, “oh.” and opted to do it again from B lmao.

(Oh yeah my tags spoil everything but oh well. Hope the rationale makes up for it hahaha)

VERSION A: Fun times

Raizen.

I'm sorry, the tournament is over now, thank you for coming. Seriously though, he's Yusuke with a million times more firepower and brains/experience. Also, one of the appeals of Yusuke is that he makes fighting fun, which is why everyone wants to go up against him. Raizen's friends express the exact same sentiment repeatedly. Raizen in his prime in battle would be a sight to see. He'd be all DID SOMEBODY SAY FIGHTING?? YEAH I'LL FIGHT ALL THE FIGHTS WAHOO and nobody would be able to get him off the arena platform. If there is an arena platform left. Or an arena. Or anything.

Enki.

Jolly uncle/all-round good dude, I love him. He also loves fighting, so he is also lots of fun. He seems much more cool-headed and practical than Raizen, and definitely takes the lead in coordinating the rest of Raizen's pals. Thus, he's a great wingman for Raizen. If you somehow actually manage to defeat Raizen- haha, what am I talking about? OK, if Raizen slept in or something, then you can fight Enki. And in that case the tournament is still over.

Kokou.

LOVES FIGHTING AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Even Enki was relieved he didn't have to face her. I firmly believe after Raizen she's the strongest - or at least one of the strongest - out of all of Raizen's already insanely powerful friends. Honestly, between Raizen and Kokou they'd probably just take everybody down, including each other, and have a blast.

My perfect noodle husband Hokushin.

Obviously no one is surprised at this pick on my blog. Also loves fighting, plus super duper reliable, he's perfect support for anything. Along with Enki, he'd help temper Raizen and Kokou's wild party. And somebody needs to clean up after all the mess and make sure everybody gets first aid and whatever. Well, first aid for the other team they just massacred, I guess.

One more Raizen friend: Natsume.

We could put another one of Raizen's friends here, but I pick Natsume because we know a lot more about her and she's so badass and we should have more women. Also, because she's very clearly another great mashup of LOVES FIGHTING and NOT STUPID, as a fifth member, she can easily step in to fill any of the others' shoes, whether it's happily beat the crap out of everything in sight or be calm and strategize. If anybody ever actually needed to be filled in for some reason.

I call this amazingness Team Old People. IMO this team is flawless because they would just be so damn entertaining on so many levels. You have five extremely powerful and smart warriors with centuries of experience who have nothing to prove aside from sheer enjoyment of battle. Every one of them has expressed a passion for fighting because it's simply a joy for them, which means they wouldn't be playing it safe/boring. Seeing a master in action at practically anything is awesome, and not only that but they’d be willing to experiment and take risks and do things that are out there. A tournament is also a form of entertainment for the audience (both the real life audience and the one in the show), and that combined with their expert level combat skills means that I think they'd be so fantastic to watch. And all of them have distinct personalities that balance "I am an ancient demon with wisdom and stuff" VS "I love punching people (or getting punched) in the face!!" in different enough ways that they still offer really interesting character dynamics and interaction opportunities. And they would also be incredibly supportive of each other while still allowing for plenty of snark.

That said, FUN FUN FUN aside, the very obvious problem with this team is that they seriously break the question. And everything else. Even if they don’t intend to flat out obliterate everything, that’s what would probably happen, and that unfortunately can easily head towards its own kind of boring. Everyone would be like "why are we having a tournament, we're going home". So, we must leave Team Old People behind and move on to version B.

VERSION B: Serious business

Dark Tournament characters only. I will exclude members of the Toguro Team from my selection for obvious reasons. NO MORE FUN TIME. This is me pretending that I'm some rich underworld dude or whatever putting together a team I'm betting on to get through the tournament. You're going to see a clear pattern emerging from my picks.

Genkai.

The veteran. Intelligent, experienced, very powerful and pragmatic. I'd shell out big bucks to get her to come back to be my team's captain. No question for me, she's a must, even if all she does is sit on the sidelines and coach the rest of the team. With a group of serious, motivated and talented fighters, she'd be the best mentor and my team would be well-positioned to MAKE ME LOTS OF MONEY SO IN YOUR SMOKY SCARRED FACE SAKYO

Hiei.

Those who know me may find it shocking that I'm including Hiei but not Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama. Hiei doesn't appear on my tumblr very often, and of the four main characters he's probably the one I'm least emotionally invested in. But if you're assembling a team for the Dark Tournament, you're IN IT TO WIN IT!! And Hiei is the best bet. I shall explain.

Hiei is efficient and effective, and his success ratio is the highest out of all Urameshi Team members - the most number of individual fights without a single loss or draw. Granted, he sits out for a chunk of the tournament, but he rarely appears worn out at the end of a fight. The only time he overexerts himself is against Zeru; after his recovery, he never seems to break a sweat. Even against Bui, he had no real issues. From a betting perspective, his odds are very, very good. Kuwabara and Kurama both experience multiple losses - Kuwabara often because he's young and overconfident or becomes so personally involved that he cares more for a positive outcome for other people than for winning; Kurama often because (as Hiei notes) he tends to overcalculate the situation and draw things out so long figuring everything out that it turns into a disadvantage. Yusuke's very strong and has huge potential, but he's also focused far too much on the experience. This makes his battles fun to watch but would give a strategist heart attacks. Many of his fights involve near-misses or less-than-ideal situations stemming from amateur errors. And finally, he gets dinged with a draw in his match with Jin, in part because his dawdling on the field made the deception feasible. Yusuke's great for drama and storytelling, not great for the comfort of my pocketbook. Having him on a team is risky when I know the other underworld bosses I'm competing against are not above using underhanded tactics.

As a result, based on a purely practical evaluation, Hiei is the most reliable choice. He's very focused on, and very good at, the one thing I want - DEFEAT THE OPPONENT UNEQUIVOCALLY. He comes in and tears people apart and there's no chance of an ambiguous referee call. He just needs his team members to be people he can respect to keep him in line. With Genkai as captain, that shouldn't be an issue. Nor with the rest of my picks.

Ryo (Kai in the anime) / M-3.

This is the Dr. Ichigaki member with the invisible claw powers. After their fight, he offers to be a replacement for the seriously injured Kuwabara (Yusuke appreciates it but has to turn him down because it's against the rules unless Kuwabara actually dies). He seems to be the strongest of the three students who were brainwashed by Ichigaki, and without Genkai's intervention and his own struggling against Ichigaki's mechanism, he would very likely have wiped out Kuwabara and Yusuke. He's extremely serious and dedicated, and with someone like Genkai steering the helm I think he'd go far. I'd be comfortable putting money on him. I also like him a lot and wish he had more involvement in the story - I've always felt that if Togashi didn’t need to get Koenma in for story purposes Yusuke hadn't been so freaked out and completely lost mentally when Genkai died, he probably would've asked Ryo to be the replacement fifth member. SOMEONE WRITE THIS

Touya.

Stronger than Gama, less arrogant than Risho, more reliable than Jin (who has many of the same problems as Yusuke), and Bakken sucks and will never be considered by anybody. Touya's powers are also very flexible. Somebody just needs to tell him to NOT TALK TO HIS OPPONENT. Don't talk to them, don't listen to them, don't let them distract you, don't let them get into your head, JUST GET IN THERE AND EYE ON THE PRIZE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM OKAY lol. I also think when Genkai was training everyone for Kurama, Touya was probably the one who gave her the least hard time. I mean, out of Touya, Jin, Chuu, Rinku, Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru who do YOU think would bellyache the least? I thought so.

The fifth member is actually a backup/alternate who doesn't necessarily see action (if you recall, this is why Chuu was mad). For my final pick, I took a while to decide, so I'll tell you about both of the last two people I was considering since I enjoy any excuse to talk about characters I don’t usually see mentioned.

5a is Zeru.

OK, partly I considered him because nobody remembers him lmao - he was Hiei's first victory, obliterated into a shadow by Hiei's training-wheels Kokuryuuha. But if you look at my other picks, I think you'll appreciate why he's on my radar - he fits the profile of what I'm looking for very nicely. I want someone in control of themselves; who is a reliable, consistent, focused fighter unlikely to get distracted by other things; who clearly demonstrates power and is committed and has potential to grow really fast with the right direction/team captain. The only thing is that with Hiei already on the team, this may be duplicating the skillset and the mental profile a bit too much. And I think it's clear Hiei already has the upperhand in baseline power. So,

5b is Suzuki.

His strength isn't fighting. It's his ingenuity in adapting, augmenting, and outfitting his team members with really good, really creative tools. He's honestly more a tinkerer and an inventor, imaginatively tweaking things to be even more useful, and whenever he realizes and accepts this about himself instead of trying to be just another fighter in the limelight, he'll be rich lmao. Anyways, this skill makes him a hugely valuable asset. I don't need him to be in the ring, I'm fine having him support with cool gadgets to amplify the rest of the team.

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICKS lol

#yu yu hakusho #meme #21 questions yyh style #raizen #enki #kokou #hokushin #natsume #genkai #hiei #ryo #touya #zeru #suzuki

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minblush · 7 years

Note

Leave mimi alone. If you could get over your jealousy for one second you would see would a sweet person she is. I follow her because she doesn't look for fights unlike blogs like yours. Yet there are fights on her blog cause of people who don't have anything better to do like you.

so it’s been a while and i finally worked up any sort of courage to address all of this and i will do it under this one ask because out of all the ones mimi’s “fans” sent me, this one was the most civil

i’m still shocked that i got so many people attacking me over rightfully calling mimi out, and ofc there is no jealousy involved, i guess i just don’t understand why she is the blog that anyone would want defend, like let me summarize

she only gets notes because she is fast with her updates, why is she fast? she just takes updates from twitter and twitter translators a lot of the time without crediting and without any factchecking herself

she spreads unverified information and rumours because of it and got into trouble because of it more than once

she posts sasaeng information and photos taken outside of official schedules in the boys’ private time despite being criticized for it (like the jikook vacation)

she also still has the fact that she “stalks” the boys in her bio, even though i know for a fact people told her many times it’s inappropriate in the context of the fan culture in korea

she is very ignorant about mental illness (the post where she claims that jimin suffers from depression and was saved from it by jin as a fact is still up btw), the entertainment business in korea, colorism and racism (she thinks “reverse racism” is an actual thing lol) and she spreads her harmful opinions by writing essays about it to her large following

what bothers me personally a lot as a gay person, she is one of those obnoxious delusional shippers and normalizes that behaviour to her followers and also fetishizes gay men to a really ugly extent (i’m not talking here about normal shipping BTW I SHIP LOWKEY TOO, it’s about boundaries though, i’m talking about writing conspiracy theories and fetishizing, FETISHIZING, treating sexuality as a joke and treating it like a commodity, direct quote from one of her very “funny” posts: “BTS is gay ! Shippers : Of course. Why would I stan straight boys ? Who does that ?”)

(and yes as someone said in the tags, apparently she also did make racial jokes and jokes about north korea etc, but i haven’t seen those myself, only saw people mention it second hand so since i don’t have receipts i wasn’t going to include it initially)

and that is all before the jonghyun issue, which i feel like is kind of a culmination of a lot of what i dislike about her blog

she didn’t wait for an official confirmation from SM and immediately started posting about his death, all actual fanbases of jonghyun and shinee waited until after the confirmation to actually post about it, because can you imagine if it wasn’t true (no matter how real it may seem?), just like other actual bts fanbases most of these serious blogs wait for official confirmations for anything, unlike mimi who just jumps on any opportunity for notes and for her to be the news bearer. you could see people asking her to wait until the confirmation in the notes of her first posts, BUT SHE DIDN’T LISTEN, instead she let her posts spread and only added confirmation much later when it came out (which is what she does in general, spreads rumours / unconfirmed info, then when confirmation or denial comes out she edits the post and apologizes in some extremely lowkey way, despite her getting the heat for it she keeps repeating the same pattern)

her posts were made from the point of view of a bts fan instead of a human being, she was extremely tribal by saying things like that “as a bts fan, as an army” i offer my hand to shawol etc, “jonghyun took care of bts”

then she made her post about saying how we should be grateful the boys are under BigHit and not SM, because bighit supports the boys in expressing themselves about mental illness and provides help for them, blaming the company and the entertainment business for jonghyun’s death, showing her complete ignorance, not only do we not know what bighit is actually like behind the scenes (do people not remember the scandal where one of the managers hit jungkook on camera?), but the issue is that this didn’t apply to sm anyway… because…jonghyun was very outspoken about his issues with mental illness, so were other sm artists like taeyeon or leeteuk, there was/is even a support group for idols under sm that these guys as well as others like onew or yoona were a part of

and depression isn’t that simple, jonghyun had friends and outlets, but if anyone has ever been depressed or suicidal, then you as i would understand that sometimes that doesn’t matter, depression is a serious illness and the illness just won in this case, this is an opportunity to spread awareness about the illness, to urge people to seek treatment as well (jonghyun sought it himself) not try to analyze and pin it on any company or any circumstance

yet mimi linked jonghyun’s death to being oppressed by his company, by having to hold things on the inside, as if he didn’t talk about it candidly and didn’t express himself in his music

what i also found distasteful but i also can’t prove anything and people grieve differently, i still raised my eyebrows because when she lashed out at people who got rightfully angry for her for using this opportunity for notes and to make it about bts and bighit, she revealed that she was upset and cried because she thought about how it could’ve been “one of her idols” that this happened to and that she didn’t even know shinee that well… she was very coherent up until that point, but when people called her out she started to cry and be very emotional and started to talk about how she had liked shinee since debut and jonghyun was her favourite (so she has been following them for like 10 years? that is longer than i have been into kpop and i am OLD and have liked shinee since 2009.. so she’s been a fan that long and doesn’t even know the basics of what jjong was like and what he dealt with?) and then went onto analyze his lyrics and talk about how she should’ve known, and her blog transformed into other people consoling her despite her being the person that upset so many people with what she had done… that stuff doesn’t add up for me, but that is just speculation since grief is different for everyone etc, it’s just something i personally can’t buy considering how she behaves online a lot of the time

she said she was sorry without actually acknowledging what she did wrong and after people defended her vehemently she actually changed her tune and started to say things like how it was a misunderstanding and even asked her followers to approach any people who were still “misunderstanding” and let them know, which,,, what even? i suppose i’m party this to thank for all the people that told me i was an ugly/jealous loser that should delete and/or die

and despite her being like this, despite her never learning from her mistakes, people still keep defending her and attacking people that call her out, and why?

i would agree if it were one mistake, everyone always says.. let’s educate her instead of attacking her, let her learn from her mistakes, that’s what life is all about, right? i agree, people grow from their mistakes

but.. SHE NEVER LEARNS! she keeps repeating the same things, no matter how many times she gets in trouble, and you guys keep enabling her, i think it’s this culture of fans stanning other fans that creates toxic behaviour like this, why would she change? why would she learn? why would she start and mature, why? when she has so many people telling her that it’s okay, that she is right and everybody else is wrong everytime she messes up? i think people that send me those messages are complicit really

i just wonder, what will she have to do for you guys to see that she isn’t someone worth sticking up to to this extent, because due to this environment, she won’t learn?

is she the hill you guys want to die on?

i often see people saying that she does a lot for the fandom, but? she doesn’t actually do anything special, she basically takes from others and profits from them, if you follow actual update blogs that do their homework, like allforbts, ktaebwi, sweaterpawsjimin, or vlissful on twitter, you will see the difference right away.. those are the people that do work for the fandom, she redistributes and doesn’t even thank those that did the work, there are people that spend dozens of hours translating and researching, books worth of content, people that paid for japanese tv subcriptions so they can record those shows for you, those are the people that do a lot, reposting tweets, anyone can do that (and a lot of people do, which is fine as long as due credit is given, what i’m saying is… it isn’t special and doesn’t require any effort at all, so why worship someone for like… doing the bare minimum? and sometimes not even that?)

why would you guys go to such an extent to then attack people that called her out, and rightfully, you guys would tell me a person with depression and an actual fan of jonghyun, that “if you care about jonghyun so much why don’t you join him”

over mimi? over someone who acts like all that i described? is that worth it… i don’t understand this cult-like mentality, even if she were an actual angel that did save the fandom, what in the world would make this okay?

i now have anxiety every time i try to get on tumblr and will have to work to overcome it because you people told me to die over calling HER out while going to her and telling her how everyone else sucks and she is a lovely angel…

and why she doesn’t pick fights? i talked to her in the past and let me tell you… she is stubborn and won’t change her mind and when she sees she can’t out-argue and manipulate the person SHE BLOCKS THEM and doesn’t let them express their views on her blog, no she only lets views that paint her as a victim there, she doesn’t let her followers see any validand CONSTRUCTIVE criticism

that’s why she seems like she is above it, like she is only nice and the angel and people like me are scum for ever saying anything, she is very smart about that aspect of things. but she isn’t above criticism (and neither am i), she is a human being like me or you :/.

i’m not telling you to hate her or attack her, don’t please.., i’m just asking you to see her for what she is, someone who is notes and attention hungry, someone who refuses to learn from her mistakes and someone who actually flaunts her ignorance, please give your time and attention and thankfulness to people in the fandom that aren’t like that :( and mostly, don’t go around telling people that call her (or anyone) out to die like.. please?

if she wanted to defend herself she could always talk to me, or anyone, or address it in a constructive manner, instead of relying on her followers to do that for her while publishing dozens asks on her blog that praise her and tell her how everybody else is wrong

she isn’t a celebrity, she can speak for herself

the fact that she chooses to deal with things the way she does says it all, right?

just…please reconsider stanning other fans, it creates all this toxicity, nothing good comes out of it, that is mostly what i wanted to say

and she specifically isn’t worth all the hurt

thanks

#ask #anon #it took me so long to address this and i know no one will care at this point but #i had so many asks attacking me and i feel like tumblr isn't even safe for me anymore #and all over tHAT BLOG? really ugh

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mysamcedesmadness · 6 years

Text

Steerio Hearts Stuff & Stuff

White Devils and the Demons They Serve (Chs 15-17)

I was gonna do two seperate posts, but you two are the ones who do most of the reading and y’all actually read EVERYTHING, so I figured, even if it’s as long as a chapter, y’all would’ve read it anyways.

@sweetiedee85

Stevie can’t even sniff his fingers with Bukowski breathing down his neck. What is Bukowski up to with Cheerio?

I. Am. Still. Crine. Over this comment. That is all. (Because, you just found out in Ch 17 what Bukowski was up to.

But I guess it’s the devil you know versus the devil you don’t.

Even though this is regarding Tesla, this is actually a fantastic summary of most of the characters in this story, hell - in the series. People often accept what their life seems to be instead of fighting for what it can be. That DEFINITELY happens in the context of having a mental illness, because everyday life can be overwhelming enough, so taking extra risks and chances are sometimes astronomical.

What’s sad is they would rather do that than come see their child. Time is more value, and we see they don’t care enough to spend any with her.

The Robinsons are the worst. I just have no other feedback of them for right now. Radja more than Champ - but they are a team and that team should’ve included their daughter and never does. In fact, I have a little arc that involves Radja coming up shortly and yes, she’s just the worst in it.

But then those dang nightmares and training haunting the poor guy. I know it’s something he struggles with even after their married. He has triggers, and they usually lead to him growing and learning something different about himself and the way he views things. It seems that this is only the beginning of that journey.

Stevie sometimes suffers from psychosis, so he’s forgotten a lot of things that he’s been exposed to, because his brain was just unable or unwilling to process the trauma - much like his breakdown after Mary died. This is why later he still has repressed memories punching him in the gut and why it’s important to him to be a realist. He seems like an asshole a lot, for “Just being realistic,” but he knows himself (particularly after he’s out) and he just wants to make sure he’s trying to assess things normally and naturally, so that he doesn’t unintentionally wind up in a state of psychosis... Now, WE know that sometimes, it’s going to happen, anyway. But, these glimpses into his episodes are here for me to try to explain why Stevie is such an “asshole,” OUTSIDE of his racism. That’s a completely different issue which I’d never justify. Lol.

I do wonder if Tesla wants this footage. I doubt Bukowski has any good in him so is it his self need to have every part of Tesla in his grasp, under his control? Will she be somehow grateful he’s gotten this back? Idk but just the thought makes me sicker.

Tesla does NOT want this footage, wants no part of this footage, was alarmed by Bukowski and Stevie even MENTIONING this footage, and has absolutely no need for this footage. This is primarily about Bukowski’s control, and also his fetish. He enjoys watching. He enjoys knowing things. It makes him feel powerful to know things and to be able to see things. She MAY be grateful that he’s gotten it, but honestly, she’s still suffering from the damage of the event. She knows that it has already been done, and whether or not there is footage, she’s already suffered and has to live with it. Be sick, be very sick. It’s meant to be deeply sickening.

Anyway, Stevie is out of control lol threatening Derek was un called for. We know at this point she’s the one exception to that word, and that’s recent so I wasn’t surprised when he said it. I thought Cheerio would at least consider turning down Stevie’s offer but nope lol She just as toxic in love as him, and she sees beyond his training. I doubt I could have it in me.

Stevie is often impulsive in his decisions, but sometimes, they’re premeditated. Sometimes, he thinks things out, knows that his decision isn’t great and does it anyway. He gets so much better about this as he ages, but Teenage Stevie is deeply territorial and no matter what he says, he feels like he owns Cheerio.

And, no ma’am. I can’t relate to her, in that regard. A chick called me “Kunta Kinte” in 2007. I tried to beat her with a beer bottle in her own trailer, had to get dragged out of there and brought home and I still will call her a bitch, if I see her today.

Angelwings

Ok... Who is Bukowski even using to make Tesla (Ally) jealous? I mean agh.

This had me cracking up SO HARD. You would be surprised the kinda pink dick pandering out there on the innanets. Whenever I had a successful porn blog, right here on Tumblr, I seen some shit. And there are folk less attractive and less charming that can somehow manage to get little sex games going with people, especially if they’re in a fetish niche (which gingers are).

ok so Tesla told her to have sex in the shower? If she's in the bathroom they accept verbal... side eyeing and looking all squinted eyed trying to imagine how they WON'T get caught.

This is because the orderlies won’t generally just burst into the bathroom while a resident is in the shower if the resident seems fine and is willing to peek out and show their face. They’ll only barge in if the resident seems off (trying to pretend that they’re fine) or is not responsive. They want to value their privacy to a certain extent, but not to leave them vulnerable, if they somehow got hold of a weapon or something.

It just goes back to what Stevie says to Sam. He has to constantly battle with his thoughts. At least he does that.

I touched on this a little bit with Dee. Stevie HAS to do this, to make sure that he keeps himself grounded. His triggers are so dynamic that they literally take control of his mind, for a time. He wants to not have to experience that, and he never wants to hurt the people he loves because of some type of break.

Hmm so Dani is trying to work at a library. That's kind of perfect. Hope she gets it and keeps up her therapy and stuff. It always makes me upset to see any hospital release patients before they are ready. I really hope Dani can transition back into society.

Oh, no - she’s not trying to work at the library. The library is one of the few places that poor people can have access to the Internet and by this time, even though the story is set for several years ago - a lot of the jobs and such are available to apply online. Dani would most likely apply online, because she knows that she might appear to not be normal when going in to get applications and people might “fire before you hire” her upon seeing that she’s not very normal. Sorry, I didn’t explain that. I know that the Texas Workforce Commission has access, but I didn’t feel like researching how unemployment works in Ohio, so I just went the library application route. Dani’s story isn’t over yet, so you’ll definitely find out how life went for her.

They function as a community, one for all and all for their cause. People can do anything when they work together even create monsters and killers.

People who lead abusive lifestyles often see their behavior as normal. Hence arguments TO THIS DAY of “My mom beat me and I turned out fine” or “People are this way because they don’t get beat enough.” Contrary to the cases upon cases of research and information that hitting children only causes trauma. Now, generally - children of abuse do NOT turn out to be killers and horrible criminals. Some go on to be kind humans and productive members of society... But even those generally have to address the trauma that was caused by their toxic environments.

Inevitably we know the fate of the hospital but in the other stories we never hear of the other characters. I hope they get the help they need wherever they go.

I have stories plotted out for most of the ones that we know. It’s gonna be a moment to get to some of them, but I’ll try not to drop the ball, completely.

Stevie was angry with Bukowski for hurting his Bust it Baby- learning so much. I had to look that up. That is Cheri by every definition if not now then later. She is well on her way. That exchange was cute the way Cheri acted.

Bust It Baby Pt 2 was ONE OF MY FAVES in the club. (Telling my age, now. LOL) But, THEY would have been teens/kids around that time, so I didn’t feel bad referencing that mug. Bwahahaha. Cheri DEFINITELY becomes all of that for Stevie. But, yeah - she was a little bashful about it being said in a group setting.

Even Tanisha had to tell him about himself with Stevie. It's like Stevie was punished for all the children, well Mary got to Stacey but Sam was golden. Some couples should not procreate.

I think it took a while for Dwight to comprehend that just because Stacie and Sam ‘turned out okay,’ that didn’t MEAN that he had been blameless in helping to shape Stevie the way that he did. He never saw himself as having anything against Stevie, because he loved him as much as he did the others (or so he thought - he just wasn’t CLOSE to him). And Mama T was able to see that Dwight’s not being close to Stevie affected how he handled him, whether or not he did love him - which she believed and trusted that he did, but she needed him to get that STEVIE needed to believe and trust it.

This Entire Review: I Have a Lot of Responses, Love

Bukowski is blinded by crazy. Any half decent individual would see red flags. DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! What an idiot. Poetic justice would be if Tesla killed his awhen he drugged and kidnapped her or whatever his chosen crazy decides to do. I just don't see him living after he knocked on that door.

Unfortunately, Bukowski’s time is not yet up. But, he has definitely poked a bear by reaching out to Max. Stevie making deals in an institution with a demon eww. Stevie has his number already, is he blinded by the vajayjay?

Stevie is blinded by both the caviar and his inability to access, the way that he would like to. He’s a teenage boy trying to squeeze quickies in all day in between heavily monitored times. That argument between Stevie and Cheri was like imagining popcorn pop. You know the explosion is coming. When it does your like damned that's some Good popcorn! I kept saying Oh, and scrunching up my face like Stevie's next words are gonna get him smacked and then he did it. He said the ultimate, ONE word that is complete Taboo in anger no less. *SMACK* ! Round two lol!

Stevie often feels attacked when nobody is attacking him. I blame Dwight for this, because Stevie spent most of his life feeling like he had to explain and defend himself, to the point where his mentality is paranoid and he thinks that he has to fight whenever a conflict or challenge arises. Cheri is not a violent person, but whenever she gets angry (Teenage Cheerio) will lash out, because she’s in a position where she can’t just go to the spa or have a smoothie. She’s relaxed more later because she has the freedom to simply escape for a moment. Here, she’s a caged bird. Cheri is hella patient with him and I get it. I have had to explain blackness to other races, as if EVERY race and EVERY culture and EVERY class does not have their own innuendoes and humor. Even his Arian idiot family. Like the lady at work told my coworker with at straight face 'Don't all y'all like fried chicken? I said what did you do? My coworker said I took a deep breath and saidNo! And what you just said is considered racist. Of course she asked how? My coworker said she just walked away. I probably would have a. been patient and broke it down, or b. said ungh hungh just like all y'all like caviar and filet minion. Just would depend on my mood but Cheri is time enough for Stevie. Most of how she handles Stevie I agree with.

I don’t. It’s not my job to bear the burden of educating people who (if they gave a fuck) could access resources to educate themselves. I made those mistakes when I was younger, and that shit was nothing but additional emotional labor added to the constant processes I had to go through, throughout the day in my black ass skin. I watch racists getting beat up for being trash on YouTube all the time. That’s handling that I agree with.Lol. Now there is no way in hell any man would not take Derek's behavior as a challenge or threat. I felt like he was trying to purposely show Stevie he could reach Cheri in a way Stevie could not and do things with Cheri that Stevie could not just to put it in Stevie's face then try and hide behind a smile and laughter like he didn't have an agenda. Even if he doesn't like her like that he KNEW Cheri was with Stevie. He should have acted accordingly. I think Derek was trying to be sneaky. Yes Stevie is a jelly monster and he is territorial and possessive but that is Stevie. Like Mason calling Cheri Ri Ri then correcting himself in front of Stevie. Mason is not deliberately trying to poke the bear. He calms all that down in front of Stevie and Stevie eventually learns that Cheri has to have other friends. I don't think that was Derek's mind set, befriend Cheri and Stevie. He just liked having the attention sounds like from everyone, in a mental hospital. Stevie is not stupid. Cheri is a little Naïve I think, especially when she meets Max. To me she made a couple mistakes with that. Trust no one. Describe new people in addition to looking up tags.

This is highly problematic, in my opinion, for many reasons, all of which - I’ll respectfully address. Firstly, any man or person in general that takes the friendship of someone else with their partner as a threat is toxic, and possibly abusive. Control and possessiveness are not key points of love. They are key points of obsession and obsession is almost always dangerous when it involves people as the object.

I don’t think that I wrote anything to indicate that Derek was in any way trying to challenge or compete with Stevie, so that feeling seems to be some internalized antiblackness or at the very least, sympathy for the devil - in this case, that’d be Stevie. Because HE was wrong and he reacted. There is nothing wrong with a black kid getting attention from people or trying to impress or please people, so I’m not sure why that would be considered poking the bear or purposefully trying to upset Stevie.

They are ALL in the mental hospital, and while Stevie definitely isn’t STUPID, he certainly is psychotic. He’s not always right. Even his instincts are frequently off, at this juncture of his life and it isn’t the responsibility of a black boy, who is here for his own mental health to coddle Stevie and think about all the ways that he may or may not be offending him by being generally friendly to everyone around him, which is literally all Derek does in this chapter. I only wrote him making jokes and being jovial, up until the point that Stevie threatened him, out of paranoia, after being told multiple times that he shouldn’t bother with it.

And Cheerio is definitely naive, but that also doesn’t mean that she should have had all the answers as to why not to suspect everybody that she met. She did her part to try to keep herself safe, and of course, Max would have had avenues set up as to not tip her off. He’s been trained to deceive. Saying that she made some mistakes sounds a little bit victim blaming to me, especially considering that she followed the rules that were given to her, and whenever she was abducted, she was run off of the road and taken. She hadn’t met up with him in the woods, or something.

She was extremely paranoid (affecting her mental state and her peace of mind), because of everything that they had told her and she had no way of knowing that someone who’s information came back clean was someone else. I feel like this must be stated - Max doesn’t just LOOK like Max Giardi when he greets her. He’s not going up to her looking like somebody that she could Google and she’s just put her thumb in her butt and calls it a coincidence. He’s tactical. He purposefully entered her world. He wouldn’t do it in a way that any normal person would notice that anything off, much less someone that he would presume has been told to look out for him.

Bonus Face Claim:

Ashlee Brian as Derek (Originally a dance crew member in “The End of Twerking” episode.

#Steerio Hearts Stuff & Stuff #Notes #My writing #Replies #AU Glee Fanfiction #FCs

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