#and that was also before they made the change to everyone can use max level boosts

[adhdvane]

me, every goddamn time: i need to be careful with how i use my journey drops. i don’t want to have them still running if i’m not still doing the quests i want them on for. that would be a waste :o

my journey drops:

[madelynraemunson]

CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪

(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club series)

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ plz

strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader

Chapter 002: Wing Man

You start your first night of work. Eddie requests a private show. But not for him; for his friend — a rich and lonely bachelor who can’t seem to get over his ex.

* = somewhat smut

** = smut

↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014**, 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020

word count: 7.2k words

NSFW — lap dance, steve creaming his pants, abusive relationships, talks of trauma, steve and reader trauma dumping lol

pairing: lonely bachelor!steve x fem!exoticdancer!hargrove! reader (and lowkey eddie)

author’s note: yes we get with steve before we get with eddie, but we will get there okay??? 🫣🫣🫦 also don’t tell me you guys wouldn’t homie hop in hawkins because these men are SO FINE

tags: @changemunson , @the-fairy-anon , @ali-r3n

“Let me see you dance I love to watch you dance. Take you down another level, and get you dancing with the Devil” -Wicked Games by The Weeknd

♡

A sultry black set.

A hot pink set with bows. Caribbean blue. Army green for the military men. Some cuffs. Personal wet wipes. Sanitizer. And lastly, a stethoscope to play the part.

“I can’t believe you accepted a caregiving job,” Max scoffs as you both make your way out of Scrubs 4 Less. “Do you even have healthcare experience?”

Your stepsister loved to mask her prying with carefully crafted screening questions. Even if they sounded pessimistic.

“Sure I do,” you shrug. “Remember that summer I cared for Great-Aunt Dotty when she had Parkinson’s? Figured maybe it’d be similar.”

“I guess.”

You take it upon yourself to remind Max that you are certified in CPR. And with that cert, you saved numerous people from drowning as a lifeguard. Of course that was for one year during high school, but it was experience nonetheless.

"Well, what about the heavy lifting?"

"Easy. All in the legs." you pat your thighs. Despite being calm on the outside, you are getting nervous now. About everything.

"Takes a lot of core strength too. And upper body."

It's like she knows what you actually will be going to be doing. However, there are parallels between both professions, and you made sure you made a choice like that so you wouldn't have to lie as much about the physicality of things.

"You seemed to have gotten the job pretty fast,” Max notes.

"Nursing homes are really short staffed. Especially with the pandemic and everyone leaving from all the burnout, they’ll take anybody who qualifies."

"Did they even determine if you do?"

"Are you questioning my ability to take care of people?”

You know you’re being manipulative. You can spot a manipulator from a mile away. But this little white lie is for you and Max’s own good. Even if it means selling her a fake story. Even if it means lying. Living a double life.

“An abusive home life and all-timers isn’t comparable.”

“Have you considered that some people with Alzheimer’s are combative as well?”

“And you had to accept the graveyard shift?” she pries further, ignoring all your valid points.

“It pays more,” you answer sharply, readily. “Two dollar shift differential.”

“Oh my god, we’re practically millionaires.”

The sudden change in Max's behavior is really catching you off guard. She was optimistic on her birthday. A little withdrawn when the weekend was approaching. Now the pain is evident it is almost unbearable. Sure, Billy isn't a problem anymore, but with all of his chaos, Max has found solace in using her hobbies as coping mechanisms. Her body needs that adrenaline, and now you have cut off access to all of it.

Max can't go surf. She can't run around freely just yet because she doesn't know good routes and trails. She doesn't have friends in the area besides you, Robin, and Vicky. She misses Donovan.

Max is hurt. You know she is, but you don't blame her. Still, you’ve had it.

“Hey.” you snap.

Max halts. She knows she went too far.

“I know it's sucky... the situation we're in right now," you sigh. "But I'm doing this for us, remember? It’s temporary. We just need a soft place to land, and this is paving the way towards that.”

At least that’s something you didn’t have to lie about: It’s a sacrifice you were making for her.

———————𓆩♡𓆪—————-

Orientation day comes in a blink of an eye.

Eddie is giving you a tour of Hellfire while discussing how his particular ‘system’ works. You’ve got to give him credit. His system makes sense.

“I don’t ask my girls to pay to dance here,” he explains. “I just think that’s bogus. Also, it’s Hawkins. Not that many competitors, so if I let you dance here, you’re automatically staff.”

You two walk down the hall. Eddie shows you where you would clock in and out, promising you your punch-in code by the end of the week. You learn that everyone gets paid out every Friday, because in Eddie’s words, “fuck that biweekly shit”. Tips go home with you every night, but you are expected to help tip out staff members patrons don’t really see or interact with. Therefore: Jonathan’s girlfriend Nancy whose House Mom, Henry, and Argyle. The boys make their money from bussing and serving. Jonathan earns tips from POTIONS.

“I figured as much.”

You graze your hand along the kukris on the wall as Eddie talks. He stops to take note of it and gives you a boastful smile.

“You like ‘em?”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool.”

“That’s the perk of owning your own business,” Eddie says exuding a lazy stretch to graze the kukris himself. “You choose where the money goes, when it goes, how it goes.”

He ponders for a while longer.

“Most of the time at least.”

Clearly a majority of the money also went to the chicken wings.

Eddie leads you to back of the house where he then proudly showcases his wing menu to you. There’s the Hawkins Hot Chick for Nashville inspired hot chicken. Chicken Strippers for the picky eaters. And the ‘Hot As Cluck’ buffalo wings with spice scales named after Metallica songs: Fuel (mild), Fight Fire with Fire (medium), Creeping Death (hot), and The Unforgiven (Extremely hot). All are served with one’s choice of carrots and celery or crinkle cut fries on the side.

“Crinkle cut fries are the best kind of fries,” Eddie states. “Ain’t that right, chef?”

“Ay ay!”

One chef. For the entire back of the house. Though that seems like the textbook definition of a staff shortage, the friendly Latino man with long, black hair that he concealed with a hairnet and baseball cap most likely had it covered. He flashes you a kind grin with kind, hooded eyes to match, quite possibly revealing to you that he’s likely stoned out of his mind. But if it helps him through the shift…

“Argyle’s the man,” Eddie explains. “Pitched the chicken wing idea to me when we were both blasted.”

Suspicions confirmed.

“Is it just Argyle?” you inquire waving hello to him.

“Sometimes Eds helps out back here too,” Argyle answers for him. “Like when we’re really fucking shlammed, he’ll come back here and help cook.”

Argyle turns to you. You smile at him.

“But most of the time I got it,” he says. “That man’s got enough on his plate.”

“Yeah, Argyle’s a beast,” Eddie confirms. “Don’t know what I’d do without him.”

While Eddie tidies up back of the house, you and Argyle converse with one another. He’s 28, produces music on the side, and learned how to cook from his mom at the age of three. California native as well. By observing the mini station he has set up, you notice that Argyle keeps a stash of Yerba Mate with him at all times, and some bud in his mini gym bag. You also learn that he and Eddie often take breaks together, hot boxing one another’s vans as if it were some sort of competition. But, as Argyle had mentioned, with how much Eddie currently has on his plate, those joint breaks (no pun intended) have been pushed to the backburner.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Hargrove,” Argyle concludes. “Excited to have you on our team.”

“Likewise!” you shake his hand with a smile. “Looking forward to bugging you for chicken wings.”

“You bug me all you want, mamas,” he insists. “I’ll make you allll the chicken wings in the world.”

“You a flats girl or a drumstick girl?” Eddie questions.

“Flats,” you respond instantly.

You receive a distraught gasp from the cook while Eddie cackles.

“Atta girl,” Eddie smirks patting your back. “I knew I liked you.”

“BLAS.PHE.MY!” Argyle screams. “Drumsticks are where it’s at bro.”

The three of you argue back and forth about chicken for the next couple of minutes, Eddie sticking beside you through and through. Though play-fighting with your new coworkers seems meniscal in the grand scheme of things, you reveled in it. It’s the first time in a while you felt a sense of community outside your sister. You wanted to savor it, especially since you know that this is temporary.

“You’re a red flag, Hargrove,” Argyle jokes, clutching his chest. “You were perfect in my eyes until you said you were a flats girl.”

“Well it’s a good thing she’s mine and not yours,” Eddie jeers.

Your heart flutters. Eddie and chicken wings. You’ve GOT to be in heaven.

“Alright, word,” Argyle calls after Eddie as he pulls you away from the kitchen. “Word. I’m still gonna spoil her with food like she’s mine though.”

“He’s such a flirt,” Eddie says to you once you’re both out of earshot. “Endearing and endangering at the same time.”

“All in good nature right?”

“‘Course!” he exclaims. “We’re all about respecting women at Hellfire. Everything’s lighthearted banter.”

And you’ll revel in that too. Especially since ‘respect’ and ‘lighthearted banter’ weren’t things you were able to experience at home.

“Also!” Eddie adds. “Respectfully… Wear something simple but classy on Friday.”

“Ooh,” you chime. “Simple and classy?”

“Yeah, I’m talking neutral tones. Red lipstick also preferred but you can do whatever you want. I’ve got something I need you to do for me on your very first day.”

I’ll do anything for you, Eddie. Your intrusive thoughts are starting to take over.

———————𓆩♡𓆪—————-

It’s Friday night now and everyone is in their respective stations preparing for the rush. Argyle is prepping the fryer while Chrissy flirts with him for nachos. She waves at you with her fingers and gestures that you can have some too. You smile and mouth a, “thank you” to her.

You really like Chrissy. Of all the dancers you’ve seen so far, she is the most memorable. She is charming and sweet, soft but firm with her boundaries. She has regulars lining up for her daily, all with different types of quirks and interests. But Chrissy somehow fits all of their molds, just by how fast she can switch from doe to siren depending on her audience. You want to be just like her.

You and Eddie stop by the kitchen before heading off to finish orientation. There are chicken wings — flats only, of course — on the line waiting for you with a note scribbled on the back of an old ticket order.

“Shy Girl<3”

“Eat up, mamas,” Argyle encourages you. “Gonna need the energy for tonight.”

“Yeah!” Chrissy cheers. “It’s Fridaaay!”

You thank them before heading out with Eddie once again. Eddie steals a flat from you and flashes a thumbs up to the cook before you two leave.

“Mm,” he approves. “Fight Fire with Fire Buffalo.”

You are just about done with wrapping up orientation training and ready to start the first night on your own. That is until Mike Wheeler, Nancy’s younger brother and bus boy, comes along and interrupts Eddie’s train of thought. You walk with Eddie in silence, munching on your food while Mike relentlessly hounds him about bringing his girlfriend into the club. She is 18 but Eddie is refusing.

“But but-” Mike stammers. “The club is already eighteen plu-”

“But nothing,” Eddie interrupts. “This is Hellfire Club. Not babysitting club.”

“Well I’m 19 and you let me work here. Why does it matter if she’s 18?”

“Because you’re a dude, Wheeler,” Eddie hisses in return. “It’s different for the ladies.”

Not willing to risk any liabilities, he leaves Mike with just that. You follow Eddie, fiddling nervously with your hands as you watch him tsk and shake his head in disapproval.

“I can’t have teenage girls in here,” Eddie mutters. “That’s just blatantly obvious right? Or have I lost it?”

“No, right. Totally!” you agree.

Eddie has another rule. No strippers under the age of 20. Anyone under, including ages of 18 and 19 are children to him. He admits that he gets squeamish when guys bring their younger looking girlfriends into the club. You assume it pertained to his colleague’s girlfriends too.

You walk past the bar with Eddie, waving hi to Jonathan as you did so. Dustin is at the bar as well but is too busy to say hello. You manage to glance over and watch him fix his hair, trying to look his absolute best while FaceTiming his Mormon e-girl from Utah, Suzie. After eavesdropping for the past couple of days, you pick up that she insists on video chatting with Dustin every time he is at Hellfire to ensure his fidelity. Suzie wanted to be his “only wifey” to which ‘Dusty Bun’ assures her that she is.

“Uh oh,” comes a voice ever so soft it sounds eerie when it echoes through the club. “Someone’s in a bad mood today.”

Slithering into your periphery is the same tall, lean guy that you ran into earlier last week. Today he's sporting a white tank top that revealed a couple small tattoos scattered around his body, black pants that were tight enough to be yours, a loose wallet chain belt, and chunky work docs. His gorgeous blonde hair looks attainably messy by what you suspect is mousse. He smells of beer and cigarettes tonight, his tired eyes a precursor to his lust-filled gaze. A poster boy for all the men you wouldn’t want to bring home to your parents is none other than,

“Henry Creel,” Eddie says. “Mike’s just picking a bone with me. Have you met Hargrove? She’s our newest dancer.”

It’s seemingly Henry’s first day back. From the first day of orientation to now, you’ve only had run-ins with Jim, the older gentleman who is also a bouncer. Jim spent years with the Hawkins PD, but after a scandal that only Eddie and his peers seem to know about, Jim found a home protecting young women at the Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club. The only place that gave him a chance.

You like Jim. You like everyone here. You are also ecstatic to see Henry again, this time as a dancer. You can see the excitement blooming in his eyes, with a steady increase in his pupil size by the second.

“Well, well,” Henry smirks. “Look who decided to join us.”

You two shake hands again.

“Henry’s my other bouncer,” Eddie explains, but you already knew that. “He’s my right hand man. He’s tiny but mighty. Could snap bones in an instant.”

You peer over at Henry with shocked eyes, to which Henry acknowledges with a dramatic bow.

“You’ll see it,” Eddie hovers a hand over your back. “I sure hope not anytime soon, but there’s always that one douchebag.”

“And they always underestimate me too,” Henry says. “I get a nice kick out of it. It’s a win-win.”

Henry is certainly not beefy, but judging by his muscle tone and sharp upright demeanor, he can put up a fight. Dude seems like he does a lot of the dirty work for Eddie. He can get away with it too.

After bidding ‘see you later’ to Henry, you continue walking with Eddie.

“So,” he starts. “Did you put together a cute simple outfit for tonight?”

“Mhm,” you nod.

“Good,” Eddie says. “I can tell it’s gonna look amazing. I dig the red lipstick and the choker.”

Eddie wanted classy so you gave him classy. Underneath the cloak, you are sporting a lacy black set with a matching black choker and classic red lipstick. Your hair is straightened tonight since beach waves are your signature.

“You want a sneak peak?” you smirk.

Eddie quirks up. “Oh man, do I? Let me at it.”

You take off your cloak to reveal what you have underneath.

Eddie stops in his tracks, taking in the sight in front of him. His gaze is both soft, yet lout. Delicate in the brows, yet carnivorous in the eyes. Slowly, his jaw lowers, uttering a silent gasp as he fully processes the sight of the vixen — you — in front of him.

“Jeez…” he strains. “You look…”

You blush. Electricity whirls through you as Eddie continues to relish in your beauty.

“Showstopping,” Eddie finishes.

He reaches his arms out and you take them, letting yourself fall into his chest as he pulls you to him. During the embrace, he sets his lips beside your cheek, brushing against them delicately as he gives you a verbal kiss.

“Mwah!” he exclaims, leaving you longing for a stronger peck. You feel like you’re on a cloud when he spins you to get a full 360 of your look. “I was expecting like a light color, or pastel…but black — black is your color.”

“Yeah?” you reply. “It’s not too edgy? Choker and all?”

“A lil rough around the edges won’t hurt,” the club owner approves. “He’s gonna love it.”

You follow closely behind. “He?”

Your first client. You had a feeling that’s what Eddie had planned for you today, but reality didn’t sit in until right now.

"Ever given a lap dance before?" Eddie inquires.

"Yeah, but not in this setting."

He seems amused with your answer. Eddie smirks as he gives you a nudge. "Perfect."

You two are walking down the corridor now, down to an isolated room at the end masked by a beaded curtain. You’re unsure if the goosebumps that form on your skin is because of the slight chilliness of the club or because you were walking into a seductive hideout with the boss you had the hots for.

You two stop just a yard short of the curtain. Eddie turns to face you.

"I've got a buddy named Steve. Not short for anything, his parents just... loved the 80s." he chuckles. “You’re giving him a private show tonight. One hour.”

Eddie’s buddy. The pressure is on. The name rings a bell, you believe Dustin was talking about him the first day you set foot in Hellfire.

“Oh,” you say. “I think I heard your friend Dustin talking about him last week.”

As if it were some inside joke, Eddie sighs and rolls his eyes.

“Oh, yeah,” Eddie mutters. “Don’t even get me started on those two.”

Eddie motions you forward, extending his arm to signal an “after you” gesture as you proceed into the private show room. The beads of the curtain carelessly clash into one another as Eddie saunters in.

"Anyway, Steve has been going through it lately. His lady left him for another dude, he lost his job because the city wanted another basic coffee shop instead of a place to rent cheesy B movies…and the last time he worked in the food industry he had to wear a sailor’s uniform, so he’s since opted out.”

You wander around what was going to be your office for the next hour as Eddie aimlessly takes his own path and furthers his lay-down.

“His folks want nothing to do with him because he doesn't wanna be nepotized by them. When he’s not working, he’s babysitting — you guessed it — Dustin and the rest of the boys when they’re not here or playing D&D with me. Oh yeah, and on the topic of girlfriend, he hasn't gotten laid in a fat minute.”

Eddie pauses.

"It's kinda depressing,” he says. “Now that I say it all out loud.”

He makes a sharp turn and walks toward the boombox he kept in the corner of the room.

"That is depressing," you mumble nonchalantly, as if you yourself had not been laid in a fat minute… contrary to your obnoxious brother’s popular belief.

“How do you sleep at night knowing you’re a fucking slut?” Billy’s voice haunts you.

You’ve only had one real boyfriend and Billy knew that. And that boyfriend, shortly after he left you for the girl he told you not to worry about, admitted that you were simply a placeholder for him. They’re happily married now and it tortures you knowing that being the first choice was never in the cards. Billy knew that too and used that backstory to fuel your insecurities. Billy knew you hated feeling used, yet brought it up every chance he got. Making his victims feel small, that was the source of his power. You shudder it off.

You watch as Eddie plays around with the boombox, ensuring that the aux chord was working along with all its other components.

"Tell you what," Eddie begins to barter. "You give him a good show, you can keep a hundred percent of your tips tonight. Consider it a sign on bonus."

“Wow, Eddie really?” you exclaim. “That…helps me out a lot. Thanks so much.

“Of course, doll,” Eddie grins. “Happy to help.”

Eddie finishes up tidying the room before walking back over to you.

“I can’t get over how amazing you look,” he adds one last time. “You’re gonna knock his socks off.”

“Thank you, Eddie,” you thank him one last time.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

He lingers for a while longer before going outside to look for Steve. Meanwhile, heart’s-a-fluttering you try to acquaint yourself with the place, choosing a seductive song of your liking before getting prepped.

Wicked Games by The Weeknd.

More ruckus sounds from outside of the show room. You assume your client has arrived.

“That’s the boy,” Eddie confirms. “BRB-right back.”

You excuse your boss as he makes his way over to his friend. While you wait, your mind begins to race. Does your outfit look okay? Does your breath smell? Do you smell? Despite all the wardrobe and wellness checks you’ve done, your mind is insistent that something else was off. To calm your nerves, you decide to take a quick gulp of Bombay Sapphire, a gin Eddie had provided for the room, before Steve walks in.

Liquid courage. May help with the performance too.

“There he is,” Eddie cheers as the two men greet each other outside. “What took you so long?”

“There was uh, traffic,” a softer voice responds.

“I call bull.”

The two talk a bit more, voices too quiet for you to make out what they’re saying. That, or the sound of your heart pounding against your chest drowned out their conversation. Steve sounds friendly. Timid, but friendly nonetheless.

You listen in on Eddie’s spiel about you. He called you stunning, explained that you just moved from California, and that you are exactly Steve’s type. Whatever that could possibly mean. You then hear Eddie go over the rules. No touching you without consent. No verbal or physical harassment. No sexual intercourse. And to tip generously.

“She sounds lovely. Thanks for the run down, Eds.”

“‘Course. She’s all yours, Big Boy.”

The beaded curtains clash once more.

In walks a man around Eddie’s age, late 20s, early 30s with sleek mahogany hair and slight puffy eyes. He’s sporting a gray North Face sleeveless jacket with a plain black shirt underneath and denim blue Levi’s. He’s a lot more preppy than you thought he would be. Steve’s reaction to you was similar to that of Eddie, despite how different they seem from each other.

“Hi,” he greets you.

“Hi,” you smile. “You’re Steve?”

He nods shyly. “You’re who they call Shy Girl?”

“That’s meee.”

It doesn’t take a body language analyst to see that Steve is guarded. It takes another fragile, sullen demeanor to know one.

“Are you one of Eddie’s shy friends?”

The comment earns a laugh from Steve. “You think I’m shy?”

“Just a little.”

He attempts to mask a gulp. “I’ve just never gotten a lap dance before.”

“You think I’m supposed to believe that?”

You stalk towards him and rest a hand on his chest when proximity and Steve himself grants you permission. You sink your palm in deeper when you pick up he’s receptive to it.

Oh yeah, that’s all gin.

“With your handsome self?”

Steve’s blushing now. “Yeah…strip clubs are kinda not my thing. They’re starting to be though, cuz I always come and support Eddie.”

“What a nice boyfriend,” you joke.

“Eddie and I do have a budding bromance,” he admits with a laugh.

“Boy I’d love to be in the middle of that,” you tease him honestly.

Steve is left stunned and speechless while you grab his hand and lead him to the futon in the middle of the room. He attempts to relax, exhaling the tension out of his shoulders and manspreading as he watches you encompass him. You walked in a slow circle around Steve as the music starts and he peers up at you with curious eyes. Alas, you stop in front of him, cupping his face softly in your hands and synchronizing your hip movements to the rhythm of the song.

Relate to your customers. Talk to them. Build a connection with them, you think to yourself.

“So how’s your day been?”

Steve cracks a faint smile. "Good, how's yours?"

"Good," you chime as you slowly lower yourself onto his lap.

Steve sharply inhales, sucking the tension he had just released right back into his body. You shake your head in disapproval and stroke his face calmly.

“No, no,” you coo. “Just sit back, relax. You’re safe with me.”

“I’m safe with you, huh?” he responds in an is-that-so kind of fashion. “You seem like pure danger to me.”

“Oh, please,” you snarkily disregard his comment. “I’m an angel.”

“In a place called Hellfire?” he challenges you. “I find that hard to believe.”

Steve wants to touch you. So bad. But he refrains. You feel it in his levitating palms, resting just inches away from the small of your back. You start to lightly ride his thigh, hoping to catch his palm in passing as you move your hips about. Instead you’re met with something hard at the base of his pants, an outline and protrusion that wasn’t there before.

Steve looks down and acknowledges it with a shrug.

"Sorry," he chuckles. "It has a mind of its own."

You laugh faintly in return. "It's okay. I'd say it's responding appropriately."

"Yeah?"

"Given the circumstances," you say as you grind slower, deeper. "Yeah."

"Well, that's a relief."

Steve is cute. And a polite man who values your consent was sure to receive it. You two lock gazes before one of you dared to speak again. It all feels like a blind date, and you’re two giddy young adults.

"You..." you start. “You can touch me if you’d like.”

"Really?" Steve asks. "Usually dancers don't let you do that."

"It depends who you ask," you smile. "Consent is subjective...and you have mine. C'mon."

He obliges and starts to graze your ass softly with his hands. You run his hands through his hair, then along his neck without lifting them. A muffled moan is slowly released from his mouth.

"Shit," he sputters. "Feels really good."

He tosses his head back.

"You make me feel so good."

"Aww," you grin. "Me?"

"Yeah you," his voice is deeper now. Huskier. "All because of you."

His hand moves upwards towards your bra and he begins to fiddle with the straps, and then the clasps. You continue your steady grinding, rolling your hips to the beat of the music, tossing your head back for the full effect while Steve holds back the urge to cup your perfect breasts in his kneady hands.

A whimper escapes Steve’s mouth when you find the sweet place to roll, resting a palm over his abdomen for leverage.

“Needy, are we?” you tease him. “Needy for me, Stevie?”

“So fucking needy,” he breathes, a nervous gulp swallowing another sneaky groan. “You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.”

I’ve got my heart right here, I’ve got my scars right here.

Suddenly, you cease the grinding, going from cowgirl to reverse. Grabbing a hold of both his knees with the back of both your hands, you sink down to the floor, knees bent, slightly out turned. Your hands move from his knees to encompass his elbows, accommodating the playful headlock he abruptly decided to have you in, watching you squat down beneath him.

“Mmm,” he hums. “You’re so fucking pretty, baby.”

His arms creep from the sides of your face to the front of your face. You crane your head upwards, peering up at him and refrain from shivering when he brings an arm across your neck. His other hand rests on your face, stroking it tenderly.

“Get up here and, ride my thighs again, please.” he pleads. “It was feeling so good.”

“Okay,” you oblige before standing back up.

“Before you do though, let me get a good look at your ass.”

You stand there for him, bending down ever so slightly so he could run his hands across your back. He grabs a fist full of your hair gently with one hand and strokes your ass cheek with the other.

"Wow," Steve hums as he runs his fingers along the birth mark on your lower back. "I like this birthmark."

"Yeah?" you say. "Some people have said it looks like a tramp stamp."

"It's cute," Steve insists, pulling you onto his lap. “It kinda looks like a bat."

He points to where the wings would be and the fangs and you laugh. No one's admired your tramp stamp-esque birthmark the way Steve did.

"Thanks," you reply. "My brother has a matching one."

You pause.

"Sorry, that didn't sound all that sexy."

Steve tosses his head back and chuckles, hand resting firmly on your ass again. "You look sexy talking regardless, so I don’t mind.”

The chemistry between you and Steve feels so natural. You know if your nurturing heart felt like this with all clients you would be in big trouble. This profession isn’t for everyone and you realize that. But you decide to realize everything else later. Meanwhile, your focus right now is pleasing Steve.

You resume the thigh riding per his request, and chase your own subtle high as you did so. Steve whimpers and whines, seeming to long for you even more with every stroke of his hair, every brush against his cheek, every steady and calculated grind against his—

"Woah, are you okay?"

Suddenly you’re cut off by Steve abruptly pushing you off his lap. When you peer over at him, his face has gone completely red.

Did you do something wrong? Did you violate a boundary? Millions of thoughts race through your head. You can’t get fired on the first day of your new job…

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, I just..." Steve stammers, flushing a deeper red hue with every word. “I... uh, kinda came in my pants."

"Oh..." you begin.

"I am so sorry," Steve sighs. "Embarrassed is an understatement. I’m such a loser.”

You two start frantically talking over each other, one extremely apologetic, another sympathetic to the concerns. Again, it’s like you two are clumsy young adults on a blind date set up by your bold friends.

"It's been a while... so..." Steve stammers.

"Steve," you stop him.

"And..." he cuts out.

"It's okay," you reassure him. “It’s okay, Steve. If you need a break, we can stop.”

“Sounds good,” he agrees with a resigned sigh, the red colored flush migrating to his ears. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You go to put your cloak back on again and strut towards the gin. Perhaps offering the man a drink would help loosen up his nerves.

"What should we do with the allotted time left?" Steve wonders eyes following you. He’s rubbing his knees anxiously with his palms. “Eddie has this room booked for an hour. He needs to think you're doing splits on my dick or something or else he won't be satisfied."

Laughter erupts from the deepest parts of your belly at Steve's comment. Steve can't help but laugh as well.

"Hm, we can wait a bit and I can give you another lap dance?” you suggest. “Or a strip tease?"

You weren't used to those words coming out of your mouth, so you attempted to make it sound as normal as possible. Wow, you really just gave a lap dance. And someone came from it.

"Do you think..." Steve inquires. "That we can just... talk?"

----

So you and Steve do exactly that. You talk about your families, and your aspirations, your deepest fears, and your core values. Steve Harrington isn’t the loser he thinks he is. He’s a really cool guy. But deeply misunderstood.

“So you and your brother have similar birthmarks?” Steve questions.

“Yeah,” you confirm. “Except his is on his belly. We literally took the term identical twins to a whole new level.”

He laughs.

“Your brother sounds cool.”

“He was.”

Steve gasps in astonishment.

“Oh, my god. I’m sorry. Is he…”

“He’s not dead. Just an asshole.”

The color returns to his face. He exhales steadily and shakes his head. You find his reaction funny, despite how twisted that made you sound.

“Dead to you though?”

“Pretty much,” you giggle. “Dead to me.”

You two do a cheers to that with your alcohol-filled glasses and take another painful sip. It burns.

“Tell me about yourself now,” you prompt him.

There’s a dramatic pause.

“Well,” Steve begins. “I’m an only child. So eyes have been on me for as long as I can remember. What’s Stevie up to? This is what we expect of him and this is what happens if he’s not what we make him out to be. It didn’t take til young adulthood to realize that I have been living in my parents’ shadow. I don’t even know what I like.”

Steve spurs on about how he has struggled with his identity, going back and forth between if what he was pursuing was a desire of his or his parents’.

“And for a while I thought I knew who Steve was. Until I lost myself again in a girl named Nancy.”

“Aw,” you pout.

“A girl,” Steve pauses waiting for you to catch on. “Named Nancy.”

Your eyes widen. “House Mom Nancy?!”

Steve nods as you slowly piece things together.

“So Jonathan’s girlfriend is your…”

“Ex girlfriend,” Steve confirms. “Small world, huh?”

You suppose it wasn’t good that Hawkins is so small. You’d hate for someone to recognize you when you’re taking a casual stroll outside.

Nonetheless, you push that concern to the side and continue your conversation with Steve.

“What happened?”

“Some petty high school shit,” he explains. “But it’s always been her. She made me a better me. The closest to Steve that I’ve ever felt.”

“Wow,” you say. “So you saw a future with her?”

“Marriage, kids, everything,” Steve confirms. “Then she decided I wasn’t what — who — she wanted.”

It’s silent for a while. Steve shakes his head bitterly and downs the rest of his drink. You slosh yours around waiting for him to speak again. Besides, if you did, you’d end up ugly crying about your ex. And no one wants their stripper trauma dumping on them when they’re supposed to be performing.

Thankfully, Steve is the first to speak again.

“Yeah, Nance. She looks… she looks happy,” he turns to you with dismal eyes. “I don’t ever wanna get in the way of that.”

“Do you ever see her here?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, she’s in the back being House Mom, making sure all the girls are taken care of and all that. And I’m sure she doesn’t come up front because she knows Eddie has been trying to play wingman.”

You chuckle. “With a stripper?”

“With anyone,” Steve chuckles. “God that sounds awful. I sound like a loser.”

“Would you stop saying that?” you snap. “You are not a loser, Steve.”

“I know I’m not a loser. Just feel like it sometimes. Especially when it dawns on you that you’ve been living life for other people.”

“I kinda know how you feel.”

You two lock eyes again. Steve rests a hand on top of yours, intertwining your fingers briefly before he begins playing with each of your fingers one by one.

"I guess…going back to the previous topic…” he proceeds. “If I could change anything about myself, I would've done more of what Steve wants to do. Not what Todd and Marsha want Steve to do. Or what Tommy H. and Carol want Steve to do. Because maybe then Nancy and I would’ve been endgame. Or maybe Allison. Possibly Tammy? Who knows? See? Everyone’s world but Steve’s.”

"Steve," you start. "I hope you realize that I have no idea who any of these people are. It’s kinda hard to keep up.”

"And that is such a relief to hear that," he sighs again, this time in exasperation. "I just feel so free talking about them to someone who doesn't know who they are. Hawkins is small, you know. And it’s good that the only bias you can form is in my favor since you only know of me."

You offer him a consoling pat atop the hand, to which he responds by leaning his head on your shoulder. With how tender everything has been with Steve, there’s a temptation to plant a delicate kiss on his forehead. But you stop yourself.

"I'd like to know you, know you, though,” you find yourself saying.

He gazes up at you. You two smile at each other.

“I’d like to know you more too, Shy Girl,” he answers. “If you’d let me.”

“Duh, it’s what I just said.”

He chuckles. “You’re not saying that for the tips?”

“No. Just human to human.”

You stroke his cheek longingly, running your hand along his stubble.

"It's also been a while since I've gotten laid too," you admit. "And I've got a lot of pent up stress I need to release. You seem like a trustworthy person to do that with.”

The energy changes. Steve’s grip on your hand tightens.

"Oh yeah?" He rubs your thumb with his and soon you find yourselves holding hands.

"Yeah.”

“Sounds like we have a deal then, Shy Girl.”

Before Steve gets any ideas, you interrupt him.

“I don't wanna have sex at work," you admit. "Especially not on the clock."

"Oh, yeah I didn’t think it’d be now. Some people do find that hot though.”

"It's my first day. I can’t disappoint Eddie this early in the game.”

"You're kidding."

You shake your head.

"Wow, I would've thought you've been doing this a while."

You blush. "Thank you. But nope, you’re my Guinea pig.”

Steve continues to gawk in amazement. Then he reaches for his wallet, grabbing a huge wad of Benjamin Franklins and handing it to you.

"Tell you what," Steve bargains. "You buy yourself something nice, get your bills paid, and come through in a couple days. The roomie won't be home so we'll have the place to ourselves. We can get takeout or something too. Whatever makes you comfortable, of course.”

You bite your lip. "I'd like that."

“Good. I’d like that too.”

———-

"So, how was it?" you hear Eddie ask Steve.

"Dude...I just about creamed my pants," he says as you hold back laughter. "You got yourself a good one."

"Nothing's ever too TMI for you, Harrington," Eddie says. "But thanks for the imagery."

"Yeah. I gotta get going now. I got laundry to put away at home. It's been piling so much I think it's going to tip over."

“Roger,” Eddie says before bidding him goodbye. “Oh, speaking of which, did you tip her good?”

“You bet I did. Woman like her needs to be spoiled rotten.”

————

You make your way back to the dressing room after saying bye to Steve and finishing the flats Argyle had specially made for you. At your locker, you subtly attempt to count the hundreds Steve gave you for his lap dance and talk session. The man left you 10 of them. A whole band.

You were stunned. What did King Steve do for a living anyways? It didn’t matter to you. You had enough for groceries, gas, and a portion of your rent, all earned in an hour’s work, and all yours to keep as Eddie insisted.

The realization makes your heart skip a beat. You and your sister were good for the next few weeks.

Knock, knock.

“Don’t freak out ladies, it’s just me!” Eddie shouts from the other side of the door. “Put your cloaks on I’m coming in!”

You watch as the girls scurry to get their covers back on. The amount of respect Eddie has for his dancers is insane. Perhaps it’s common decency but it was such a striking difference than what you were used to. It warmed your heart in a way, but also made you sad. You deserved this respect all your life.

When Eddie finds you, he starts towards you, a look of approval spread wide across his face. As deeply as you wanted it to be because he found you attractive, you infer that it’s because you’re bringing in good business — and that you’re good, given a small amount of experience with the pole.

You two are face to face now. Eddie speaks up first.

“Steve, uh,” he says. “Steve really likes you.”

“Oh really?” you smile. “I’m glad.”

“You’re just a natural, Shy Girl,” he compliments you. “Everyone’s just raving about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Based on what I’ve seen so far and what Stevie told me, yeah,” he confirms. “But I guess it’s no surprise. Shy girls are almost always the freakiest, huh?”

You try not to laugh while you’re witnessing the imagination of your boss running in the complete opposite direction of what really happened between you and Steve. Nevertheless, you let him. You didn’t mind taking up space in your dashing boss’s mind.

“You should come to work a little early next time you’re on,” Eddie says. “I’d like to take you to lunch.”

Heat spreads across your cheeks. “Really?”

“‘Course! I do it with all my dancers as a welcome thing. I’d like to know more about you. You’re more than just a pretty face and someone who simply works for me.”

‘I do it with all my dancers.’

Your heart sinks. Back to square one.

Eddie clears his throat.

“Anyway,” he says. “I’m gonna head out now. Gonna go see the lady friend. I’ve got Johnny boy, Argyle, and Henry holding down the fort.”

The tinge in your heart intensifies.

“Oh, sounds fun!”

“Yeah, I rarely see her cuz she bartends. Even though we work similar hours we work opposite days. But she got first cut tonight so I’m heading over.”

“Have fun, Eddie.”

“I sure will,” Eddie says. “Goodnight, Shy Girl.”

“Goodnight, Eddie.”

Eddie soon disappears out of sight and now your shift seems ten times longer. Regardless, you stuff your tips into your tote bag and prepare to meander around the club, enticing other bachelors for a dance.

Without Eddie around, it seems less exciting.

“Doing it for Max,” you remind yourself while fixing your hair in the mirror in front of you.

You reach for your phone to see the amount of time that has transpired since the private show with Steve. But the clock wasn’t your concern when your Home Screen lights up.

Your heart nearly sinks to the floor.

Billy Hargrove

1 Missed Call

Billy Hargrove

iMessage: 1 message

You open it.

What the actual fuck.

[farfaras]

I think I got an ex but I forgot him.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3 (this is it.) AO3 link.

–

Their plan changed. Them planing to come out changed things, mostly the storyline they were going for. Jonathan realizing he was lonely and didn’t actually love Steve as a way to end the relationship seemed too gut wrenching for a baby gay to witness. So that was out.

The timing of them getting together would stay the same. But instead of those elaborate phases they planned, they would just take it one day at a time. Like normal couples would. When they decide to break up, they would just say they realized they work better as friends. Simple, easy.

Today was probably the hardest part of the plan. Coming out to everyone. Dustin actually convinced them, made them believe that the whole crew would be supportive. If anything went sideways Steve was definitely putting this on him.

They had get togethers almost weekly now. It was a comfort thing. Most of the time the brats used these gatherings to play their nerd game. The rest of them just hanging out. Steve only wished Mike took better care of his basement.

The party and Eddie were playing their game on the table. Steve made sure he sat down close to Jonathan, Robin on his other side. Eleven and Max were reading some comics in the corner, on a beanbag. They looked comfortable.

Steve was anxious. He didn’t know how Jonathan could take this level of anticipation and anxiousness. He was fidgeting almost violently, so Jonathan took his hand in his. Robin, who was in the middle of a rant, faltered for a second before going back to talking. Both Steve and Jon’s attention on her. Even though she was still talking, she looked Steve in the eyes and raised a single brow. He knew what she was asking. He hopefully telepathically sent the right message.

When the party announced that they finished their session for today, Mike rushed to get some drinks. Jonathan dropped his hand and resumed his previous position. Steve caught Will and Eddie curiously eyeing the movement, while Dustin was downright staring and not so subtlely hiding his grin.

Everyone was chatting amongst themselves, when Mike returned Jonathan cleared his throat. “Uh, guys?” His voice was slightly louder than it normally was. Also firm. “We have some news.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Who’s we?”

Steve spoke up. “Me and Jonathan.”

“Unexpected but welcomed duo, huh.” Robin tried to lighten the mood. It was like every time someone heard the word news they assumed the worst. Steve gave her a grateful glance.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Steve reassured them. They seemed to relax at that, nodding and giving them their full attention. Jesus, their faces were earnest and curious. Steve didn’t know if he was gonna survive this. He turned to Jonathan. “Should you tell them or do you want me to do it?”

Jon gave him a small and teasing smile. “I’ll tell them. You got the worst of it already.”

“Hey! What the fuck? I thought we were cool, Jonathan.” Dustin protested when he heard Jon. And that reaction just proved his point.

Jon just stared blankly at him. “Someone just spit it out already.” Mike said, rolling his eyes like the impatient little shit he was.

“You just don’t know how to wait, huh.” Lucas shot back.

“Shut up.”

“Grow up, Mike.”

“Oh, please…”

Eddie’s voice cut through the argument dryly. “Kids! Please, just stay quiet so they can say what they need to.”

Jonathan muttered a quiet thanks before taking a deep breath, probably mentally preparing himself. “I’m just gonna say it.” He looked around, then directly at Steve, before addressing the whole group again. “Steve and I are dating.”

It was like Steve was able to watch all their reactions in slow motion. He mostly just felt Robin’s, her gasp and the way her neck almost fell off from how fast she turned to them. Eleven just nodded and went back to reading, he supposed they haven’t taught her all about what the world thinks about homosexuality? Max’s was kinda scary, she just smirked as if she was going through all the new material she had to tease Steve in her mind. Mike and Lucas both raised their eyebrows, they were comically up. Will’s eyes sparkled and widened at the revelation, he was surprised too. And Eddie was almost unreadable. His mouth slightly opened and he looked shocked, frozen.

Mike broke the silence. “There’s no way.”

“It’s true!” Dustin looked ready to defend them if anyone had something even remotely weird to say.

“You knew?!” Lucas almost shrieked.

“I did.” Dustin looked so proud.

Steve didn’t want to look at Robin right now, he had absolutely no idea how she might react. Or if she was gonna be mad about not knowing first. He felt a hand in his that wasn’t Jon, so he looked up to find Robin softly looking at him. She squeezed his hand. “Thanks for telling us, both of you.” She directed this to Jonathan, too.

“It’s kinda weird that you both dated the same girl,” Max started. “But I guess you’re cute, or whatever.”

“Cute or whatever.” El repeated. Still not paying much attention to them.

Steve laughed. “Thanks?” “I guess.” Added Jon.

The only ones who haven’t said anything were Will and Eddie. The rest of the room put their eyes on them.

“Oh. Um. Even if it’s kinda unexpected, that’s great.” Will nervously said. He looked around. “Right?” A chorus of yeses and rights filled the room. Steve could breathe easier.

“Yeah, great.” Eddie muttered. “We’re all happy for you guys.” His smile was small, almost subdued.

“Okay, now that that’s over,” Jonathan tried to end this conversation, the kids wouldn’t have that though.

“Wait! I have questions!” Lucas of all people exclaimed. “When was this?”

“Uh– well. We got together a few weeks ago. If that’s what you were asking.” Steve answered.

“When?”

“Like 2 weeks after.” Jon replied. They didn’t need to say after what, it was implied.

They answered all their questions with their planned answers.

Who made the first move? Actually Jonathan because Steve wanted to go at his pace.

How did they get together? Jonathan asked him after they came out to each other.

Were they in love? (This was El) At that, they got caught off guard, they didn’t expect someone to ask that. “We haven’t been together for long, El.” She didn’t seem to understand but left it alone after Max said she’d explain it to her later.

Everyone, like Dustin said, was supportive. Which they were grateful for. And Steve was also super happy for Will and Robin to see that their friends would support them too when they decided to come out.

Steve just didn’t know why Eddie was so quiet all of the sudden. He wasn’t like that, which made Steve worry he was actually not all that okay with this. He didn’t want that to be the case, he didn’t think that was the case. But people could surprise you sometimes.

Steve and Jonathan were holding hands while they answered questions. Whenever Steve chanced a glance at Eddie, he looked like he was staring at their hands but quickly redirected his gaze to something else. Steve felt uneasy.

All too soon it was time to go. Everyone was climbing the stairs, Jon was pulling his hand to get out of the basement. Eddie was still packing some of his stuff. Steve stopped walking. “Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you outside.” He told Jon and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He just nodded and left the basement. Now it was just Steve and Eddie.

“Hey, Eddie.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s up with you?” Steve hadn’t known Eddie for long. But during these last months they had developed a friendship, so Steve thought he knew Eddie an appropriate amount to know something was off.

Eddie’s eyes were slightly more open than usual. “Nothing’s up. Why do you think that?”

“Well, you were awfully quiet at the end there. Not really like you, is it?” Steve went up to Eddie so now they were standing in front of the other.

“Yeah, I’m just kinda tired you know.” He was looking down at his feet.

“You’re not… uncomfortable, are you?” Steve was scared that he might regret asking that. But the way Eddie wasn’t even looking at him right now, made it hard.

Eddie’s eyes widened and worry splayed over his face. “No!” He loudly said. “Not at all, please don’t think that.” He sighed. “I really am just tired, Steve. I promise.”

Steve nodded, maybe he was being paranoid. “Okay, I just. Well, I was worried for a sec.”

“I’m sorry.” Eddie moved his hand, like he was gonna rest it on Steve’s shoulder but then he aborted. Okay, that didn’t really help his case, but Steve wanted to believe him. “I know how I could’ve come across. But I’m happy for you, Steve. Um, both of you. You deserve it.” He smiled and didn’t give Steve time to respond before he bolted.

When Steve stepped outside, Eddie’s van was already gone. Will, Jon and Robin were waiting for him by his car.

“Just ‘cause you’re the boyfriend now doesn’t mean I’ll give you shotgun privileges, Byers. I hope you know that.” Robin deadpanned.

Jon put his arms up, innocently enough. “I didn’t expect you to.”

“Good.” Robin narrowed her eyes at him. “We’ll have to schedule our shovel talk, by the way.”

Will cackled while they all climbed into the car.

The ride was short, or more like it felt short. Steve didn’t even feel like time was passing with his friends making him laugh and happy.

He dropped off Jon and Will first. Jonathan gave him a peck on his cheek as a goodbye before he and Will entered their home.

Robin was awfully quiet when it was just the two of them left. She was unbuckling her seatbelt to get out when she decided to say something. “I could’ve sworn it was gonna take you longer to figure out your sexuality.” She looked at him, fondly. Steve was expecting a lot of things, but not that. “Even if I wasn’t given an exclusive, I’m happy for you, Dingus. Hope he treats you well.” She got out of the car with a salute, the dork.

What did Robin mean by all that?

-

This was like a whole other level of fucked up. The universe really liked to just tell Eddie “fuck you!” whenever it wanted. And this moment felt like it was up there, in the top 5.

It was one thing to have a crush on a straight friend, who was so unattainable that he didn’t even need to worry about ever bringing it up, outside of his mind. Steve was a great friend. Which just made him crush harder. It was so easy to almost, not completely, ignore it. Eddie had it all mapped out, he was gonna pine from afar until Steve got a girlfriend. Then he’d make himself get over him. He knew it wasn’t gonna be easy, but he had to. For his sanity.

Leave it to Jonathan freaking Byers, to throw that down the drain.

Eddie was well aware how bad his reaction was to the whole thing. He didn’t want Steve thinking the worst of him. He tried his best at reassuring him that he was happy for them! Even if he wasn’t at all. But at the end of the day, Eddie figured he’s still a coward. Because he ran so fast at the first opportunity he had to get out of there.

He supposed that now that Steve was taken, he still would have to get over him.

But it was so much worse now.

Steve being straight kinda softened the punch of any unrequited feelings Eddie had. He had to accept the cruel reality of Steve never even being able to return them. And he was sure he could live with that.

What he wasn’t sure he could live with is Steve liking guys, but still not liking him.

He bitterly wondered what could Jonathan possibly have that he didn’t. Which wasn’t fair at all because it wasn’t his fault that Steve would choose to date him instead of Eddie. Eddie even liked Jonathan.

This was gonna be torture. But Eddie knows that he was still gonna suffer through it. There wasn’t anything really, that could keep him away from Steve.

[growup-thatbeautiful]

mad max fury road absolutely destroyed me so here’s some max brainrot!

also, apologies for all the unanswered asks, i legit haven’t written anything since well before december, but i’m trying to get back into it. just, you know, a lot going on :))

tw: mentions of sa, blood, canon typical violence

you’re one of joe’s wives, so obviously you’ve got a lot of trauma and you’re not exactly used to being out in the open. but, when furiosa tells you to follow her onto the convoy, you don’t hesitate one bit. you would do anything to get away from joe and the prison joe crated for you and the other girls. nothing can be worse than what you’ve already been through.

the hiding hole in the convoy is dusty and hot. it’s hard to breathe through the smoke and sand whirling through the crowded space, and you’re pushed up against the hard metal, Toast’s elbow in your stomach. when the convoy stops moving, you relish the opportunity to stretch your legs and drink some water. the thin cloth that covers your body is gritty with sand and stained by tears. if you had anything else to change into, you would.

the sun is brighter than anything you’ve ever seen. the sand is warmer than you expected, and you remind yourself that people die out here. but the water is cold and it’s sweet on your tongue, the hope of survival clawing it’s way from your chest.

at first, like everyone else, you don’t trust him one bit. he’s a stranger, and a man, and you’re not sure he’s sane. he doesn’t even have a name that you know of.

but there’s something about him. something that tells you he won’t hurt you or any of the other girls. the brown eyes that he hides under that mask are cunning and strange, yes, but there’s a level of honesty in them that makes you want to trust him.

furiosa’s killswitch stops him before he gets too far, and then he’s forced to take your group. you’re squeezed up from with him and her, the daggers between them enough to make it uncomfortable. she has control- you’re not worried about that- but he has pretty much all of the weapons furiosa hid away.

for the most part, the time passes in silence. Toast and Splendid argue some, and Dag takes the middle ground. Furiosa concentrates on the road, and the man curls as far into the metal of the door as he can, weapons stashed underneath his feet.

it’s not until much later, after you’ve met up with the women from the green place, that you talk to him for the first time. the sky is dark and streaked with sandstorms in the distance, greys and oranges flooding the atmosphere.

“all the others have names. you don’t?” he asks. you’re sitting in the front seat with him again, Furiosa deep in conversation with one of the older women.

“you haven’t told us your name either,” you bite back. “and my name isn’t your concern. neither are their names.” you nod toward the group of girls curled up on the back seat, each looking more and more exhausted.

he accepts your answer with a small nod. “i wouldn’t want to keep a name he gave me either.” there’s a surprising level of understanding in his eyes.

“it’s not that.” he doesn’t look convinced. “it’s not just that,” you correct. “i don’t have anything else to go by. i’m not used to having people use my name for good things.”

“i wouldn’t want to contribute to that bad streak,” he agrees. “what do i call you, then?”

you think for a moment. it doesn’t take you long to come up with a name. it’s something you heard Cheedo talk about one time, probably just a story about a place with streets made of water, opera houses full of painted tiles, and people crammed together but happy. “venice. you can call me venice.”

“venice it is, then.”

the next day, the plan changes. you never thought you would want to head back to where you came from, but it’s better than the alternative. years riding nowhere. sun blisters and sand burns.

the road back to the stronghold is dangerous. it’s risky. but you have Furiosa and the man with you. they’re just as dangerous, you think.

you didn’t expect to survive, though. yes, you lost Splendid and Nux. it hurt like you thought it would, but you haven’t had enough time to really consider it. not with everything going on. not when you find out the man’s name is max. it’s a good name, an old name. one without this world’s pain ingrained into it.

it’s been hours on the road with him and you can’t sleep. every time you close your eyes you see joe’s figure lurking over you or splendid’s body roll underneath truck tires or even flames eating at nux as rubble and rock crushed him into the ground. you know you’re going to be home soon, if you can even call the stronghold a home.

you know you’re getting on max’s nerves. he doesn’t say anything, but the glances in your direction are enough. you pick at your fingernails until they’re raw and bite and the inside of your cheek until it bleeds. none of it helps. you can’t sleep.

finally, he breaks the silence. “why don’t you try to sleep?” you don’t need to tell him why. he’s heard your screaming and your panicked breaths. he knows what happens when you try to sleep. “there’s nothing that used to help you fall asleep? with the other girls?”

“toast and i used to hold each other when it was too much.” you don’t know why you tell him. you would never wake Toast up, not when she’s finally fallen asleep after fitful attempts. and it’s not like max is going to hold you while you sleep. he has more important things to do.

you don’t expect him to offer. you really don’t. with Furiosa hurt, its on him to drive. it shouldn’t be much further, but it’s enough.

“lay you head down,” he says softly. when you don’t immediately respond, he adds, “you don’t have to, but i think it’ll help you get some sleep.”

“okay,” you agree uncertainly. slowly, carefully, like you’re trying not to scare him or yourself, you lean over and lay down, your back on the warm metal of the seat. your head rests gently on his thigh, and you try not to put too much pressure on him. you know he’s sore, and you aren’t sure this is what he wants.

“there you go.” his voice is quiet but, for once, sure of himself. his hand reaches to card through your hair and brush it off your face. “try to sleep, now.”

it’s easier than you thought it would be, trusting him. letting him take care of you. but, somehow, you do. maybe it’s because you know his name and because he’s saved you so many times. whatever it is, you let him lull you to sleep with his gentle hands tracing the curves of your face.

[space-woomy]

do you have any AUs for your ocs?

OH BOY DO I~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(For splat ocs that is)

ALSO!!! saying this now, PLEASE ask me to elaborate on things if you have any questions!!!! I love asks!!!!!

1. Monster AU

Essentially, all of inkling and octoling kind (maybe every species idk) have this gene/virus that slowly mutates them into a monster of some sort, based on their mental state. If your really stressed, you turn into a monster sooner. If you're chill, you'll see little, to no transformation.

I might as well info dump about it here cuz y not.

For most of inkfish existance, they've been afflicted by a virus that turns them into monsters. If you get bitten or scratched, you can get infected basically 95% of the time. It can also be transmitted through sex, and can also be passed onto offspring as well. There's no known cure, but there are pills with reduce both anxiety, stress, and the overall affects of the virus.

The virus had a huge impact on the war. The inkings used monsters in a more direct approach, forcing soilders into high stress situations to force them to mutate faster, and then sends them in to fight. It was effective, however, the octolings had a different strategy. They respected the changes, and would only alow the mutations just a little far. They'd allow soilders to mutate just enough for some of the benefits to take place. Extra strength, odd abilities, extra limbs, etc…

The inklings win the war in the end, and force the octolings underground. This leads into the 2 mentalities regarding the approach towards dealing with the virus.

Octariens take it as more of a divine sort of thing (idk). Changes from the virus are embraced. They don't dilibertly seek out infection, but anything that happens, happens. (Idk exactly how to explain it.) The scientific side is pushed off more.

Inklings treat ot more as a virus alone. A disease to be cured. The mental aspect is pushed off more. All that it comes down to is "don't get stressed and take your pills". The virus is way more linked to one's mental state than everyone thinks.

Anyways, splat 1.

In splat 1, Molly (3) joins the NSS to steal back the zapfish. Molly ran away from home to hopefully find some kind of cure for the virus for themselves. The pills that help with the virus are made from zapfish blood, so maybe helping all of them can maybe lead them to finding a cure. In the end, they find The Great Zapfish after defeating octavio. Its a lot different from the cannon one, and it's more like an ethereal creature, one that a mortal mind cannot comprehend. But before Molly's mind breaks, the Great Zapfish helps by taping one of its long whisker things on their forehead. They can now understand, and not have their mind shatter into nothing when looking at the Great Zapfish. They leave the domes, and Molly stops mutating any further, aside from a few things. Over time, they gain a few Zapfish traits, like a big tail, and those long whiskers.

Splat 2

I don't have much 4 splat 2 honestly. I haven't thought about it that much. But Four is infected, goes through the same and maybe has an identity crisis. Then she realizes that she's in control of herself and is kinda unbothered by the whole turning into a monster thing.

O.E

Three and Eight fight. Three, although the virus is no longer Affecting them, they still carry it, and can infect others. They infect Eight, and they fall into the metro. EIght is essentially on a timer here, because the metro gives MAX stress levels, and Eight is transforming really fast. Cuttlefish is there to help her through it, distracting her with dodging her attacks whenever she gets a bit crazy and talking to her and such, as well . By the end, she has transformed significantly. TarTar tries to blend them, and 3 saves them. TarTar realizes that, "oh shit, they're infected but not changing, weird." So they mind hyjack them. They get mind controlled, but TarTar cant restart the virus in them (G-Zapfish and all).

TarTars motivation here is trying to rid the world of the virus entirely; through killing everything basically. The virus also existed when humans where around.

They Fight, and make it to the surface! Three ends up losing their eye, and has major trauma (As per every Three there is)

Eight transforms even further, after O.E. she grows to be, like, 11 - 12 feet tall. She is also very crazy.

Any types of transformation, zapfish or otherwise, stops entirely due to the sanitization.

splat 3

Neo stumbles upon the NSS through Callie.

One thing that I haven't mentioned about the virus yet is that if 2 parents who have it procreate, and have a child, there is a very slim chance that the child will be completely immune to the virus. very small, but it's there. Captain Cuttlefish, Callie, and Neo are all immune. Marie unfortunately never got this trait.

Grizz is like the Great Zapfish, as in being an almost ethereal/eldritch being of mind breaking properties and comprehension. although compared to the GZ, he's much less so. they defeat him, and then SIde order!!!

Side order: Eight goes through the memverse and has her mind somewhat fixed. Less crazy and less beast like. Still fucking huge though. Here are some doodles I did!!!

These are kinda old

Side order:

The same, but instead of memories or whatever, Marina creates the memverse to hopefully try and restore the minds of those who've lost theirs to the virus. Eight does this, and becomes significantly less insane and crazy.

I've only drawn 3 and 8, so I'll give a basic description of what the others kind of look like.

(I don't have full design ideas for everyone yet so keep that in mind)

Marie:

Marie has progressed an average amount, but has seen significant change. She has 4 arms, 1 extending from the back of each shoulder. She's also very bulky with muscle. She's got sharper teeth as well.

Four:

Four's acceptance of her transformation had definitely helped slow it down, but also helped progress it at the same time. She's got small wings too. 

Neo:

After encountering Grizz, Neo gains a few traits from him. She starts to grow hair, fingernails that grow very sharp, their beak turns more into teeth (canines, mollers, other teeths), etc. It's all pretty minor compared to what most people go through,  but still.

Oh boy that was a lot…next one!!!

2. Splatoon Ultra AU

TBH I have no clue what to call this one, but it's basically like the “EPICtale” of my splatoon ocs (if you get that reference). But essentially, everyone is very strong and shit and everything js crazy. I don't have much for this one but 3 is, like, 7 feet tall. I talked about this before but I deleted that post I think

3. TarTar wins kind of

This is the AU where TarTar was able to fire the beam at inkopolis, but it missed a little. It wasn't world ending, but it permanently affects the world as a whole. This is the AU my “Chaos Seas” fic takes place in. I should work on that again…

Basically, grizzco has become a much needed, but EXTREMELY dangerous job. It's a last resort for people who can't afford housing, and housing is mega important in this world because there are huge storms that last days at a time. I might end up posting the rest of what I have on it ok ao3, and then remake it later. Idk.

If you want me to elaborate on anything or have any questions, please ask!

[oceanlipgloss]

These 4-71+ battles are tickling my temper

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I understand that the battles should be harder because the story is progressing, but my God, all in moderation. I'm stuck on 4-78 now and man, it's NOT fun. The battles are annoying and they're longer than my lifespan and there are 45+ angels at least and 60+ at most and they don't die fast and there are no means for proper distribution of team members and everyone in my team is popping to death and

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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16.1.2024

edit 1: you. I want to squeeze your eyeballs out with my fingernails and feed them to Shrek

edit 2: I have no idea how many times I've repeated this godforsaken battle since yesterday, I believe, but I just finally beat it with half my team dead, and Satan on the brink of death now onto the next nightmare

edit 3: MWAHAHAHA HERE COMES 4-79 WITH 66 ANGELS! FIRE ATTRIBUTE UNFAVOURABLE! Andre nooooo this is gonna suck

edit 4: just as expected. Screw u and ur eyeballs, angels🖕🏼

edit 5: at this point I'm just admiring the chibis. Look at his little handdddd I want to fluff his hair too, it's so curly and cute

edit 6: and look at the puffy sleeves and tiny boots pls change them in your sprite version and tiny teddies if you can look past the pic quality and pls just look at how big the teddy bear on his head is in comparison to his body. Leraye's chibi model is one of the cutest lol

edit 7: he angy. Me too, bby, me too. I am once again saying that I love him Sneak a peek at that small hand <3 'that angel! Kill it!'

edit 8: almost won with 7 angels left but then Satan was out and idk whether to feel upset because Satan died on me when his ultimate meter was just about maxed out (so he would've rid me of the remaining angels) or feel hopeful because I killed 59 angels/66 and almost made it to the end with most of my team still intact...

edit 9: lost again with 2 angels left this time BECAUSE SATAN DIED ON ME AGAIN

edit 10: I stopped trying my hand at the battle. I just do not have the energy to deal with it anymore for now. I'll stick to doing daily tasks for tonight. I love collecting the rewards lol

edit 11: I'm bored. I may or may not think I'm going to buy 30 keys with pancakes to actually SPEND this time. Not for hoarding. The pancakes are bountiful, the anticipation is a pleasant kind of fun definitely not shading the battles, and I might get something of use to me, so...here we gooooo

edit 12: OH MY GOD BEEL BEEL AND YELLOW SPARKLES ON THE PULL SCREEN I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANSSSS AAAAAAAAAAH LEMME SEE

edit 13: he really finally came home this time🫶🏼he's so beautiful <3 I also adore the 'I am everywhere and nowhere. But when you're around, I think it's okay to stay.' I didn't quite expect a line like that—it sounds poetic and romantic to me. I'm going to try my best to unlock his story. I can't wait to see what having him in Secret Club would be like too, obviously

edit 14: the glee, the gleeeeee lol my love transcended the screen This pull also gave me Eligos, he's so cute (edit: tf is that ultimate, bro? It's on par with his description from before the game was launched, but ok) And through a greater key pull earlier today gotta get pancakes I got Glasyalabolas, I love himmm his chibi and coffin look so extra, too lol but Ronové, when is it going to be your turn?

edit 15: I don't believe it. I PASSED. Only Satan and Mammon survived, but Beel's ultimate is a banger. The wonders he would do at level 89...

edit 16: screechers and spike-shitters again! Hallelujah also wow Leviathan sent his guys to kidnap MC. Meaning she will meet him soon, meaning I might get to see Glasyalabolas soon lol I AM EXCITED just let me make it past even one of these horrific battles first

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17.1.2024

edit 17: Beel's expressions in Secret Club GOD I KNOW YOU DON'T APPROVE OF ME PLAYING THIS GAME BUT HELP ME My God my God my God my—

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18.1.2024

edit 18: no but his thighs tho kinda want to hug them like a koala bear just him in general <3

edit 19: Valefor's H-scene CG looks edible, no? watch Tumblr flag this I wonder if his scene will come first and next one would be Leviathan's. And if I tell you how much I'm looking forward to interactions with Leviathan, and to his H-scene...

edit 20: would you look at that! What perfect timing. The difficulty is probably going to stay hellish hardcore, more so with the one lvl 89 L card of mine, but still, does this mean that I may have a sliver of a chance? It's better if I don't hope too much that I'll make it out of Chapter 4 any time soon tho. I will have to do the best I can to avoid spoilers

But PrettyBusy is amazing, honestly—just as a good company should be—they listen to players, constantly try to integrate feedback and opinions into the gameplay, and come up with ideas to better it too. They fucked up bigtime with the Pancake Shop though, ngl. BECAUSE HOW TF AM I GOING TO STOCK UP ON KEYS AFTER IT GETS REMODELLED?

edit 21: they're helping us 'prepare' for the Attack of Kings event from now, aren't they? Pffff, like I didn't know the cards would be limited

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25.1.2024

edit 22: I stopped trying to get past that battle because first, it got too annoying and two, PB said that the difficulty of battles before Chapter 5 would be reduced in the latest update, so I waited, updated the game today, and... I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH EASIER THEY GOT. Honestly, I thought the difficulty would only be lowered a lick, but wow, it really was taken down a BIG notch fr fr. THANK YOU PB! I made it to Chapter 5, finallyyyyyy :D Also, Leviathan at the end of Chapter 4 made me really like him for the exact reason a number of people dislike him: his attitude and how he deals with MC. To be honest, everyone coddles her too much and blindly encourages her excessive tendencies, so there must be at least one person who sets boundaries and scolds her when she goes overboard—and that someone seems to be Leviathan (hopefully). I'm aware that he will end up feeling attracted to her at some point too, but he will obviously give her a hard time nevertheless and I'm all for it lol Anyways, I'm going to avoid spoilers like I avoid milk, yoghurt and cheese I hate almost everything dairy until I finish Chapter 5, so...yup!

[sebsdaniel]

12 Questions about F1 through the years

I was tagged by @twinkodium Thank you sm girl! This one's my fave so far <3

I tag whoever wants to do this in F1blr <3

1. Who or what got you into F1?

My dad. He grew up in a racing/car family and automatically transfered that love to me when I was just five days old and he held me up in the hospital to show me the German GP of 1999 on TV. We always joke I've watched F1 since I was born, which is no lie. Since then, we've seen almost every race together. We've also gone to 15 F1 GPs together.

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

Michael Schumacher. My dad is a Jenson Button fan and he's convinced I started supporting Schumi just to annoy him. I don't fully remember why I chose Michael, but my best guess is I fell in love with the red car that kept winning. I love him still and still hope he gets better someday.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

After 16 years of supporting Sebastian Vettel, I ended up supporting Max Verstappen in 2023. My dad's been supporting him ever since his debut, and made him his main since Jenson retired. However, I didn't get there that quickly. I adored Max when he began F1. Got annoyed with him a lot in 2018 and 2019 when he kept having run ins with Seb (fave bias I guess), but once 2020 I grew to adore him and in 2021 I fell in love. He'll never reach the same level for me as Seb did in my heart (he's my hero after all, since I was 6), but I love him sm already.

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

I love so many F1 duo's, but my two faves are Sebastidan and Lestappen.

Sebastidan got me out of my high school depression phase in 2017. I remember feeling extra down when Seb lost his chance at the title that year in Japan. I was so frustrated and watched video's of them as teammates the whole day. I've adored them since and while they aren't a fanfavorite, I can't help but enjoy the bits and pieces we still get from them.

Lestappen. I got into them last year during their - sadly short - title fight. The history they have, the connection, is something so unique. They also seem to become better friends with each passing month. I'd love to see them as teammates someday.

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?

Dad's a Max and RB fan. He hates Mercedes and especially Toto. His past faves are Senna, Hill and Jenson. Mom has watched F1 since she's been with dad (1985), but never got into it. She always liked Nico Rosberg though!

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Belgium 2014 as it was my first live GP. Belgium 2018 as it was the first time I saw Seb win live. Abu Dhabi 2012, which was epic Abu Dhabi 2021, I'll never forget that day Brazil 2008, it was mind blowing.

And probably many more!

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.

Spa. It's my home track which I've been visiting since I was a toddler. And Zolder, for the same reasons.

I also adore the Red Bull Ring, Yas Marina circuit and Monza.

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

15 in total! 14 times the Belgian GP (would've been 15 if it weren't for 2020) and 1 time the Austrain GP. It's always amazing! The organisation of Spa has changed for the better as well!

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

Several times the whole grid before 2020, because it wasn't as difficult to get close to them. In Spa they organized hours long signing sessions at la Source for everyone with a weekend ticket. Since then I've seen them mostly from a distance. The closest I've come to talking a while to someone was Charles in 2018, Seb several times and Daniel also a few times. I still get butterflies thinking about it <3

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

RB19 (2023), it's such a precious car <3 Seb's 2010 RB. The Ferrari from 2004. Brawn GP car from 2009.

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

Not really. Unless, you count Oscar's sprint win from last year.

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

‘If you no longer go for a gap which exists you are no longer a racing driver’ - Aryton Senna -

'Enjoy these moments. We know they won't last forever.' - Sebastian Vettel -

'Enjoy the butterflies' - Daniel Ricciardo -

'If I get a few more, I think I'll headbut someone' - Max Verstappen -

'God might be with him, but he's no God' - Max Verstappen -

Thank you so much for this tag, hun <3

[bciphergrl]

A List Of My Sam and Max AUs

It has been a long time, since I posted anything here. I originally was just gonna make only one AU. But, funny enough, I have way more than that now XD

I've made this list, if you're interested in any of the AUs and/or you have any questions about them. I'm more than happy to answer them.

Itty Bitty: During one of Sam and Max fights against a criminal at the toy factory, Max gets hit by a ray and disappears. It was supposed to teleport him somewhere far away. But nope! Max has been shrunken in size and fell into a toy box that was meant to be delivered to the next city over. Now, it's up to him and his new human friend, Jess, to help him reunite with Sam and get him back to his normal size, while also fighting crime together (and learning about Jess' past) along the way.

Error 305: Sam and Max try to escape their universe as it started to collapsed. But they didn't get out without getting physically and mentally damaged. Max really got the short end of the stick, while Sam is still sort of sane. Now, they live in a white void, while Sam tries to find a way to get both of them back to normal.

Trading Minds: It's basically 'what if Sam and Max switch minds?' The results? Max is a more level headed lagomorph, while Sam is a pretty chaotic dog.

The Monster I've Become: After the Events of the Devil's playhouse, Max somehow survived the explosion and became his normal self. But he doesn't look the same though. He looks partly like an eldritch horror monster and a lagomorph. He kept his identity hidden since then and has made an abandoned subway train station as his new home. Sam sadly has no idea that he's still alive.

The Beast Within The Sea: Sam is the captain of the pirate crew who is after a magical jewel on a mysterious island. He manages to get it successfully and was about to leave the island with it. But then, a huge sea creature emerges from the ocean and attacks the ship. It kills everyone except for Sam. Instead, it keeps him on island and refuses to let him leave. Now, he needs to find a way to escape the place without the beast ever finding out.

The Multiverse Traveling Thief: Nobody has seen face or learned the name of the person who steals the artifacts from different universes and destroys those said universes. He keeps his mask on, while out in public to keep his identity hidden. But this lagomorph is known as "The Multiverse Traveling Thief".

Doodle: Sam and Max are simplified doodles who are alive.

The Circus Of Astral Magic: Deep within the forest, there's a magical circus that lures people there. A small lagomorph finds himself there. He thought it was all fun and games. Until he starts to see the dark truth behind it. This isn't an ordinary circus. This one is ment to keep people there, once they enter it.

Shattered Realities: Darla is a fan of a video game franchise, Sam and Max. She really likes playing it's third and final season to the TellTale's game, Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse. However, one night, she deeply wished that she can change Max's fate during his 305, even though it was pointless because he's not real, right? Well, the next morning, she woke up in a bedroom that doesn't belong to her. She quickly scanned the room, which she doesn't recognize at all. She slowly gets out of bed and walks to a nearby phone. However, she froze in her tracks when saw her reflection. Max's reflection to be exact. She has no idea if this is some sort of dream or if it's actually real. But, one things for sure, she needs to change Max's fate before she loses her life in a 305.

Heartstrings: Max is a florist who is so madly in love with his 'soul mate' that he'll do literally anything to make them his. Even if it means to kill as many people as it takes and pull some strings behind the scenes to make that happen.

The Pursuit Of Blissfulness: The world was once full of color, before it faded away from the world. Everyone has long grown used to it being Monochrome since then. Now, a lonely lagomorph tries to figure out the mystery behind it. But will it be worth the price of losing the very person that he believes to hate?

System Override: Sam is a child who got dared by his group of friends to sneaking into an abandoned toy company and bringing back a toy. He was pretty scared. But he managed to find a dusty A.I robot which surprisingly looked like a rabbit. He has no idea how to carry it back home. But yet, it turned on by itself and scanned him for a moment, before happily greeting itself. It really did caught him off guard. It was almost as if it woke up. But that didn't stop him from being amazed by it and taking it out of the building. If he only knew the reason behind the toy company's downfall and the danger behind the robot.

An Elder God In Lagomorph's Clothing: The universe where Junior disguised itself as a Lagomorph named Max on Earth who pretends to be a silly and crazy person who is partners with Sam and they still work together as the freelance police. However, it has a much sinister agenda for the universe.

Human: A universe where Sam and Max are humans. Sam (who goes by Sebastian) works as a detective for the police. Max (who goes by Mathew) makes comics for a comic series 'Sam and Max: Freelance Police'. They're bffs in this universe and hang out together, whenever they're not busy with work.

Driven To Insanity: Sam lives in the world where alot of people were infected by a terrible unknown disease that causes the infected people to suddenly attacked non-infected people. They show signs of discoloration with purple patches on their body and make sounds that sounded like gibberish to any non-infected. Sam is one of many few who aren't sick and has been one his own for a decade now. He ran into Max, who has the disease but he claims to be strangely immune to it. Together, they survive in the zombie-like apocalyptic world.

The Hare And His Lapdog: Sam goes to a seemingly ordinary casino and he has a really good luck streak at poker. This catches the attention and interest of the owner of the building. So, they walk up to him and gives him a deal. If he can beat them at poker, he can walk away with a trillion dollars. However, if he loses, he'll lose all of the winnings and will have to work for them. Sam doesn't see it as much of a challenge and played a game against them. He ends up losing though and had to work for them. However, what he didn't realize that he didn't sign up for the casino. He signed up to work for the Mafia and the owner, who is revealed to be Max, is a the Mafia Boss. Now, Sam is on edge of life or death as he tries to find a way to escape from him.

Tiny Detectives: A universe where a tiny version of Sam and Max somehow ended up in the real world and found their way into my house. Now, I'm taking care of them, while trying to figure out how they ended up here.

I'll most likely update it, if I make more Sam and Max AUs.

[theoddcatlady]

The Sacrifice for Harmony Rose

I’ve never been hurt by the fact that my stepfather loved my sister more than me. For me, it’s just that- a fact.

I don’t remember my real dad at all, really. He passed away when I was around two or three years old. I remember meeting Dale for the first time, although even that’s getting pretty fuzzy. I remember the giant of a man kneeling down to my level, stone faced and solemn.

Then he reached forward and gave my hand a shake. “You like spaghetti?” He asked. I only nodded, too shy to speak. He just grunted and headed to the kitchen to start throwing dinner together. Dale can make a killer spaghetti. And I didn’t even like spaghetti until then.

I’m not saying he doesn’t love me. He definitely does, back then he did his best to connect with a shy kid that’d rather color than talk to people. He had also been married before, married and divorced with a son that was much older than I was. Max was already seventeen when I was only six. And it was at six years old that my mom and Dale had my sister, Harmony-Rose. Just Harmony for short, of course.

The moment that tiny baby was handed to Dale I knew he’d completely fallen in love. I was little, but I could tell he was doing his best to hold back tears. An effort that was wasted, as a tear trickled down his cheek as he sat down and rocked her back and forth.

Dale took a pay cut to be able to work from home for the first few years of Harmony’s life. Mom once said he got up for more midnight feedings and diaper changes than she did. Maybe back then I got a little jealous now and then, but I’d only need to look at Harmony’s sweet face to realize why he loved her so much. She was perfect. An easy going baby who laughed and cooed with everyone but daddy’s girl all the way, I couldn’t be mad at her. I love Harmony too.

She’s never stopped being an amazing little sister either. From a sweet baby to a well mannered toddler, all the way up till spring of this year, she has always been just the best. I did get closer to Max as the years went by, when I stopped being a little kid and became a teenager you could actually have a conversation with, but Harmony was just always there.

I’m not saying she stopped being the best. I’m just saying that’s when… well… she got sick.

I’d just turned eighteen, Harmony now a go getting twelve year old. She was a part of her school’s gymnastics team, had all the friends, but she always gave me a tackle hug when she came home. She told me about all the boys she thought were cute, and the ones that weren’t so much. I’d promise to stomp in the faces of any that made her cry, and Harmony would make a point of poking my bicep and raising an eyebrow. No words needed. I’m a wimp.

Mom and Dale just thought it was just a flu bug that wouldn’t go away. I did too. And Harmony, well, what else would she think it was? She always had bruises from gymnastics practice, the fact they weren’t going away didn’t occur to any of us that there was a further problem.

By the time we went to the doctor, the damage had already been done.

Leukemia. Fucking leukemia. How could Harmony have leukemia? It doesn’t run in our family and up until then she’d rarely even gotten a cold. Leukemia diagnoses happens to other families, other kids. Not Harmony. It couldn’t happen to Harmony.

My mom told me that when the doctor broke the news, Dale fell to his knees. Both her and the doctor thought he was about to pass out, his face was white with shock. Dale doted on Harmony, was always in her corner when she needed back up, and she was one of the few people he’d drop the stern outer shell for to show his soft heart. And now there was something he couldn’t fight for her, no matter how hard he tried.

Harmony tried to be positive at first. ‘I’m a tough kid’, she’d said, mock flexing and reassuring her dad that she’d beat this. She went into chemo treatments with a smile on her face, and as her hair fell out she’d had me help shave her head, cracking jokes about how she now looked like season one Eleven from Stranger Things.

I think even then she was putting on a brave face. The doctors hadn’t lied, her form of leukemia was particularly aggressive. Maybe if we’d caught it sooner, we’d be better off, but that just wasn’t how the cards played out.

Harmony was dying. We all knew she was dying. The spunky girl with the energy of a lighting strike faded away rapidly, turning into a pale child with sunken dull eyes and barely a smile. She was always tired, and as the months passed with no real improvement, her sense of humor waned and I’d often catch her lost in thought.

Two months ago she called me to her bedroom, asking if she could talk with me alone. Dale actually quit his job so he could be with her 24/7, caring for her every need. It was hard for us to get sibling time, just the two of us hanging out together.

Harmony was staring out her window as I slipped into her bedroom, clearly a lot on her mind. On her lap was a folded over piece of notebook paper. She didn’t say anything, just handed me the paper and calmly waited as I unfolded it and began to read it.

It hit me like a fucking truck when I realized what it was.

“… A will?” I asked quietly.

Harmony shuddered and nodded, dropping all pretenses of false bravado. “You can donate my books for me, right? Or give some to Max, I think Jayce would love them when he gets old enough.”

I wanted to say she wasn’t going to die. I wanted to tell her she could still beat this. But I think she knew better than the rest of us that we weren’t going to get lucky. I read through this little girl’s will carefully, having to reread every line as my vision was blurring with tears. “I can do that. Don’t think this is legally binding though,” I tried to joke.

Harmony smiled, just for a second. “Well, tough, lawyers aren’t cheap.” Taking another deep breath, her gaze returned out the window. “This isn’t fair,” She murmured.

I nodded, folding her will back up. “No, it isn’t,” I agreed.

Harmony sighed with relief, flopping forward and burying her face in her hands. “Why did I have to get sick? It’s bullshit, I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m healthier than all of you, or I was, I just… this is bullshit,” She said, talking so fast I could barely make it out.

I reached forward and patted her head. “It is complete bullshit. If I could swap places with you, I would.” I meant it too.

“Don’t even put that out there, you dumb fuck.”

I laughed, I couldn’t help it. “Don’t let Dale hear you say that. He’ll never recover knowing that his baby girl knows the word ‘fuck’,” I said.

She looked back up, shaking her head but she was smiling. She was… at peace. I could just see the burden lifted off her shoulders. “Thank you, Joel. Keep that will somewhere safe for me,” She said.

“I promise.”

I pulled her into a tight hug. I knew that this will meant the end was near and that Harmony was fully aware of that. The Grim Reaper was around the corner and she wanted to be ready for him.

When I left her bedroom, I saw that Dale’s office door was cracked open, but didn’t think much of it, and didn’t bother to check if he was in there. Dale was usually in bed by then anyway.

I don’t think he was. I think he heard every word that passed between me and Harmony that night. That his baby girl had made a will for all her belongings, from her treasured stuffed animals to her collection of colorful rocks she’d bought from various museums and zoos over the years. I had every intention of following that will as closely as possible when she did pass.

But that broke Dale. So that’s why he did what he did. That’s the difference between me and him, really. I’d be willing to give up anything, even my life, to save Harmony-Rose… but he was willing to set the world on fire and let it burn, all for her.

My bedroom window faces into the back yard, right into the forest that stretches around our property for miles. I was having trouble going to sleep that night, that day in particular had been especially bad for Harmony. It had been a week after I’d been given her handwritten will and it was clear she’d finally given up the fight. I was afraid if I went to sleep, I’d wake up and she’d be gone.

I was finally starting to doze off when I saw Dale in the backyard, cradling Harmony in his arms. He’d not been able to really carry her these last few years, but she’d shrunk so much she looked like a skeleton in his arms. For a second, I thought she might be dead, but I saw her shift in his arms. She was just asleep, too tired to even stir.

Dale’s face was completely blank and devoid of any emotion. He’d spent the last few days like that, almost completely oblivious to the world around him. He hugged her tight, looked into the woods, and started walking. I watched him until he vanished into the trees.

I fell asleep after that. I didn’t even know how to even remotely process what I’d just seen, and when I woke up the next morning I’d thought it was just a dream.

I went to Harmony’s room after I’d gotten dressed, expecting to walk in and see her still asleep.

Instead, I saw a glimpse of the girl she’d been all before this diagnosis. She was still bald, but the color had returned to her face and she was up and out of bed, looking just as puzzled as I felt. She looked up at me.

“Joel, I feel… I feel okay. And I feel hungry. Can you ask Dad for pancakes?”

For a girl who’d not had an appetite in months, this was mind blowing. She ended up having a whole stack of blueberry pancakes, all the while Dale looked on, pleased as could be. He took her to the doctor’s right after breakfast, and for once I tagged along since Mom had to go to work. I didn’t really like hospitals and no one ever made me go anyway, but this time I wanted to see if this was just a ‘good day’.

Instead, we were given the best news we could ever imagine. Suddenly, after months of radiation and chemotherapy doing jack shit, Harmony’s leukemia had finally gone into remission. A complete and total 180 from her last appointment. The only explanation the doctors could give?

‘It’s a miracle. It really is a miracle.’

And well, it kinda was. Just not one that came without cost.

It started right when we were heading home. Harmony and Dale were over the moon, already planning to order out for Hawaiian pizza while I openly judged them for wanting to ruin a perfectly good pizza with pineapple. We turned the corner and saw two police cars in front of our neighbor’s driveway.

Like I said before, we’re surrounded by woods, but there’s a few other families in the immediate area. It’s the kind of place where everyone has a driveway at least a quarter of a mile long, if you’ve lived in a place like that you know what I’m talking about. The family closest to us and the one with the police presence was the Fosters. They have a son that’s close to my age but he’s an asshole, so I tend to avoid him, but his parents are all right.

I saw Dale grip the steering wheel a little tighter but he didn’t attempt to even slow down to see what was going on. Harmony frowned. “Shouldn’t we go make sure Mr. and Mrs. Foster are okay?” She asked.

“After the cops leave, we don’t want to get in their way,” He said in a tone I wasn’t used to hearing- the kind of sound a person has in their voice when they lie. Harmony hadn’t missed it either, but she just changed the subject back to Hawaiian pizza and what to do for dessert afterwards.

Once we got back, I dropped my stuff off in my room and immediately beelined for the back door. I just barely stepped out the back door when I heard someone clear their throat. I looked behind me to see that Harmony was waiting for me, her arms crossed and giving me an ‘are you kidding me?’ look.

“What, did you really think you were gonna check out what happened to the Fosters on your own?”

I did attempt to come up with an excuse as to why Harmony should hold back on this one, but instead I just sighed and started walking, my little sister hot on my heels. I imagine she was suffering from a bit of cabin fever, it’s hard going out and doing shit when you’re on death’s door.

I might not have cared much for Daniel Foster, but since he was on the back porch having a smoke from his watermelon vape, I figured he was the best line for questioning.

Daniel gave us both a stink eye as we emerged from the woods, blowing a mouthful of sickly sweet smoke in our direction. Harmony plopped down on the swingset that was still in the Foster’s backyard despite the fact it hadn’t been used since Daniel was younger than she was. I walked up to the porch. “Saw the cop cars at the mouth of your driveway. We’re just here to check in if you’re okay,” I said.

After glaring for a second more, Daniel sighed and hopped off the porch, jamming his hands in his jeans pockets. “Something broke in last night, attacked the dogs, trashed the house. Dad’s out of town and you know how shit cellphone signal’s out here. We couldn’t connect to 911 so mom and I just barricaded ourselves in her room,” He said.

Harmony cocked her head to the side. “Something?” She asked.

Daniel gestured for us to follow him. “It definitely wasn’t a person. It was probably a bear, its claw marks are everywhere,” He said as we walked to the other side of the house.

My skin crawled as I saw the large score marks under the bedroom window that was still blocked by a wardrobe. Harmony reached forward and brushed her fingers against the decimated siding. “Wow,” She said in her shock.

“Did you see it? The bear, I mean,” I asked.

Daniel shook his head. “Nah. Didn’t want to. Had the gun ready just in case it got into the room, but it didn’t. It scratched up Bella and Griffin real good, they’re both at the vet now getting patched up.”

Bella and Griffin were a pair of large rottweilers, big babies really, they were the main upside to come visit the Fosters. “Will they be okay?” I asked.

“Should be.” Daniel took a deep breath and shuddered. “I- I think my mom was really scared. She kept saying it didn’t move like a bear, but all she got was a glimpse before we hid. Bears… bears make roaring sounds, right? Like a lion or a tiger?”

Harmony frowned and straightened up, glancing at me for the answer that she was pretty certain about herself. The description enough definitely puzzled me. “Honestly, bears tend to be pretty quiet. When they’re freaked out, they’re more likely to make huffing or grunting sounds, and they definitely don’t sound like wildcats,” I said.

“Fucking weirdo,” Daniel turned away, jamming his shaking hands into his pockets, probably hoping I couldn’t see them. “What do you do, just go out and watch bears on the weekend?”

“Hey, you asked, dumbass. Come on, Harmony,” I gestured for my little sister to follow along, not at all in the mood to deal with Daniel’s shittiness.

“Wait. So you know what bear prints look like too then?”

I paused. “Are there prints?” I asked.

Daniel walked over to the treeline and motioned us over. Hesitantly, I followed.

The print that was there was sure as hell not a bear’s print, and I think Daniel knew that too. The mud captured the print perfectly, long spindly fingers carving deep scratches into the mud with smaller palms. It was like a person had dragged their hand through the mud, but it wasn’t quite right.

I snapped a picture of it with my phone. “Yeah, I… I don’t think that’s a bear print,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. Something about it set the hair on my neck standing straight up.

“Then what is it?” Daniel asked.

I sent the picture to Dale with the message ‘found this near the Foster’s, what made this track’. “I have no freaking clue,” I admitted.

Harmony bent down next to it. “It’s so weird,” She muttered.

I didn’t expect my phone to immediately buzz, Dale was god awful at responding to texts at a decent time. I turned my phone back on to an even more shocking response.

‘Come home right now. I don’t want you back in the woods now.’

“Dale doesn’t know either, and he’s telling us to come home ASAP,” I gave Harmony’s shoulder a tap and that got her attention. “Let’s go, sis. See you, Daniel. Stay safe, man.”

He just grunted in response and jogged back into his house.

Once we got back, Dale explained his for his curt demand was that he was worried about that bear that came after the Fosters. Apparently he’d called Mrs. Foster the moment we got back and got the story from her. If it was so bold to break into a person’s house, god knows what it’d do to me wandering out alone out there… and I especially shouldn’t bring Harmony-Rose out there.

I did hear Harmony mutter something along the lines of ‘screw that’ as we got ready to go pick up the pizza for dinner. Not that I blamed her, since she was finally feeling better to go out and about. But that track still made me super curious. So the next day, I went to the other person who might know a thing about animal tracks- my older stepbrother, Max.

The visit was first pretty normal, just light chatter about the warm weather and how things have been going at Max’s work. I got to play with Jayce, who was ecstatic to see his ‘Uncle Joel’ and of course Max’s wife Lisa popped in to ask how I was doing and if I was seeing anyone (girls or boys, she always makes sure to specify), and then she had to bustle right back out because she had to run errands.

After we got all the small talk out of the way, Max set his coffee mug down and brought up the biggest news to date.

“So, Harmony. She’s better?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Cancer’s suddenly beating a hasty retreat. Doctors say be cautious but hopeful. Said it’s a real miracle,” I said.

“Hmm. That’s… interesting,” Max’s brow knitted in concern, “And she’s going back for more tests? Just to be sure? I mean, any false hope will actually kill Dad.”

“Yeah, she should be going back for more tests by the end of the week. But you should see her, it really is a complete 180 with how she’s acting,” I shook my head, “I barely believe it. But she had like six slices of pizza last night, and she’d eaten breakfast that morning, a stack of Dale’s pancakes. And she didn’t throw up.”

Max’s concerned expression didn’t vanish as he went for another sip, “Maybe, just keep an eye on her- oh fuck that!”

I barely dodged the surge of coffee spilling in my direction as Max literally threw the contents across the table. I was about to ask what the hell was wrong with him when I saw it.

A centipede, two of them actually, squirming and writhing in the pooling dark liquid. Max quietly gagged before heading to the sink. “Didn’t even see those little bastards crawl in there. Really hope I wasn’t drinking centipede coffee this whole time.” He turned on the tap and looked back at me. “You want something to drink? I promise, it won’t have a bug infestation.”

I opened my mouth to say a glass of water wouldn’t be so bad when I looked at the flow coming from the faucet and the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.

It wasn’t like it was just red or rusty colored water. Water and blood have different consistencies, and the thick scarlet liquid now overflowing Max’s mug and dripping down his hand was sure as hell not water. Max looked confused at my likely shocked face and was probably about to ask what was up when we both smelled it. The smell that always shows up when you have a bloody nose, except a thousand times more potent and bittersweet, like it was rotting.

Max stared at his sink now filling up with blood, and I bolted for his bathroom to throw up. I’m not good around blood. I barely made it to the sink before I puked my breakfast and the chocolate shake I’d picked up at the corner store before I hit up Max’s place.

After coughing a bit, I made the mistake of trying to wash down the puke down the drain. Thankfully it only took one crimson drop from the faucet for me to turn it back off. I sunk to the floor, my world going topsy turvy as I did my best to keep breathing so I wouldn’t pass out. I barely succeeded. Max had to help me get out of the bathroom and put me up in his guest room while he went to figure out just what the hell was up with their plumbing. I was just about as useful as wet noodle so he let me be while Jayce showed me all his dinosaur toys to make me feel better. Obviously, any intention of showing him the strange tracks went out the window as I was struggling just to be a living person.

It wasn’t just Max’s house having ‘plumbing issues’. While I lived in the middle of the woods, he had settled down in a nice neighborhood that was just missing white picket fences to complete the perfect vibe. All up and down the street people were turning on the water to have blood come squirting out of their faucets. One poor person had gone in for a late shower and had an actual to god panic attack as they were coated in disgusting red fluid. The ambulance showed up and everything to make sure they were all right.

I felt like absolute garbage until I got home, driven there by Max. But when I walked through the door and saw Harmony dancing along to some song on the radio, I felt like a million bucks seeing her like this. Bright. Vibrant. Pain free. A complete and total turn around. I did tell her about the blood spewing out of our brother’s sink and she was naturally quite horrified by that turn of events, but we came to the conclusion it wasn’t actually blood. I mean, it couldn’t be blood. A lot of things would have to be dead to have every faucet bleeding on my brother’s street.

Harmony made leaps and strides in terms of recovery in the matter of a week. Every test came back with confirmation the disease that was going to cut her short life off was retreating at unnatural speeds. I encouraged her to start practicing her gymnastic moves, knowing if she kept bouncing back like this she’d want to rejoin her team. With Harmony getting better, the house seemed generally so much happier. My mom only cried with joy whenever she saw Harmony practically skipping around the house and Dale… man, Dale. Truly the happiest about this all was Dale.

Plans began taking form. Trips to Disney, a vacation out west to go visit all the national parks, the future that we’d originally thought might have been robbed from us was suddenly now in our grasp again. I was just as excited as my parents to be honest. I love Harmony, so much. I wanted to just focus on her now.

But as our house began to gain life, everyone else’s began to… fall apart. Rot from the corners and collapse.

Even if I was focused mostly on my little sister, I couldn’t help but notice that things were different. More bloody plumbing began popping up all over town, to the point where a notice was put out about not drinking any tap water until they find the source of this. Apparently some professional talking out their ass said it was more than likely some kind of infestation of mold, and all they needed to do was find the source and all would be okay again.

Thing is, they couldn’t find a source. I don’t know how much time was spent or how much money the town poured into to tear open water mains or go through every centimeter of the treatment plant, but it was turning up squat.

Dale was still not letting us out in the woods. If I so much as looked at the back door he was the first to ask me to ‘do the dishes’ or ‘run an errand into town’ for him. Not until they found the bear, which I still didn’t feel was right. Bears didn’t leave prints like that. Bears just… weren’t like that.

Then I got that call from Daniel.

I had given my number to Daniel freaking ages ago. My parents made me because they wanted us to be friends. Yeah, no, I’d rather not be friends with the jackass who insulted me literally every other sentence. Around three AM I heard my phone start to ring and I had to scramble to get it. I nearly missed the call and didn’t even check the caller ID before I answered it I was in such a rush. I couldn’t even ask who it was before Daniel scream-whispered into my ear,

“Something’s wrong with the dogs!”

I wiped the sleep from my eyes. “The fuck?” I managed to get out, my voice slurring with sleep.

“They… they were just so quiet…” I heard Daniel swear quietly and the sound of someone checking the lock on a door. “When they came back, they looked fine and were patched up, but they were just so fucking quiet. I didn’t give a shit, but I just got home from a night out, and- oh my god, there’s so much blood?” Daniel sniffled and I realized he was starting to cry.

“I can’t find my dad, my mom’s… she’s passed out, she got bit real bad. I got her wrapped up real good but there’s not much else I can do. The dogs, Christ, Joel… the dogs. They’re so fucked up. They tried to get me too but I’m hiding in my parent’s room. Called 911, I’m freaking the fuck out, I don’t know when they’re going to get here, and fuck knows if they’ll get to the right house. Please, man, you gotta help me. I don’t want…” Daniel’s voice cracked, my neighbor now starting to sob. “I don’t want my mom to die, man.”

Maybe I’m not friends with Daniel, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to leave him in a jam like that. I assumed rabies, because you know, that’s the closest thing to a rational explanation I could come to.

I woke Dale up and told him what Daniel told me. I didn’t want to go over there alone, and although Dale had been acting a bit off, I expected he’d help me at least get Mrs. Foster and Daniel out of the house.

He did follow me over. But he also grabbed his hunting knife, and he made sure his rifle was loaded before he swung it over his back.

Dale really didn’t hunt often, only going when his buddies asking him to tag along. I thought Dale was a lousy shot, since he never brought anything home he killed himself. I figured it was just an excuse to go out and drink beer.

We entered the Foster house and it was just as Daniel said- the living room covered in blood. I barely managed to swallow my vertigo as I followed Dale, the silence so much it felt like it was going to swallow me. It was only quiet for a few seconds though, then I heard the unsettling sound- the jingling of a dog’s tags.

One of the rottweilers ambled into the living room and even with how dark it was, my initial assumptions of the dogs being rabid was immediately put out of my mind. Rabies doesn’t give you large tumorous growths sprouting from under your bandages that oozed a reddish pus. The dog cocked its head to the side for just a moment before its lips curled back, a thin rusty colored film covering its teeth and tongue. It tensed up, ready to pounce… and Dale fired a shot right into its skull.

It dropped with not even a whimper, a perfect kill shot. The other rottweiler skidded in after its friend and I nearly vomited at the sight of even more tumors growing from its neck and back. This dog also had a tail. Yes, I know, rotties are known for those little stumpy tails, but I swear to god, this dog now had a tail sprouting from its backside, arched over its body like a scorpion’s tail. I didn’t get a better look until Dale downed that dog too. Despite having to swallow down the urge to puke again, I walked up to the second dog’s body. The name reflecting back from its tag read ‘Griffin’.

This wasn’t the Griffin I knew. The ‘tail’ hadn’t sprouted from its actual tail, it had come from in front of it. A closer look at Bella’s body and I saw that skin and fur had rotted away from some of her side, revealing putrid decaying flesh stretched over cracked ribs that had were turning black.

I ended up having to collapse on the couch to avoid passing out on the disgusting floor, leaving Dale alone to stride back into the bedrooms to find Daniel and his mom.

When the ambulances finally arrived, Mrs. Foster was dead. Mr. Foster’s body was found in the kitchen, practically ripped limb from limb. Daniel was catatonic, his eyes glazed over as he was wrapped in a shock blanket, and leaving Dale to explain that by the time he’d gotten in there Mrs. Foster had already passed, the bite must have severed her brachial artery. Her body was covered when it was wheeled out, but I caught a glimpse of her bitten arm, and how it was already growing bulbous tumors like that was on the dogs.

I also noticed that Dale’s hunting knife was now conspicuously missing.

When we got home, he pulled me aside and quietly told me one thing:

“Don’t tell your mother. Or your sister.”

I didn’t need to ask what he didn’t want me to tell. I kept my mouth shut. Maybe if I didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t real. The mutant rottweilers from hell, the fact that Mrs. Foster was now dead and how I had this gut feeling that something really bad had gone down in that room when Dale went in there.

There were more attacks. Reports of shadowy, long legged beasts roaming around our neck of the woods, that moved too quickly for anyone to get a good look, and pets would vanish only to turn up torn to pieces. Probably a better fate than what happened to the Foster’s rottweilers.

Only one person was directly attacked other than the Fosters. Mr. Green was taking his garbage out when he was pounced by what his wife described as ‘two thin beasts with overly long legs’. They literally ate his face off, god, it makes me sick to even say that. She managed to get them away and call 911, but with her signal going in and out it took them forever to get there. They took the somehow still living Mr. Green to the hospital, but he didn’t last. He developed a fever that went far beyond the livable temperatures, and even if he did live I imagined it would be kind of a shitty life, since his face was entirely gone.

I didn’t get to hear if there were any more tumors, since I had to listen in on this conversation between Mrs. Green and my mom. Poor widow was clearly traumatized by what she saw.

In town wasn’t much better though, as I’d find out when I went to go visit Max. The start of the most fucked up day.

“Lisa’s taking time off work. She doesn’t want Jayce at daycare.”

Max looked, well, a mess. The water still hadn’t been fixed, and it looked like he hadn’t had a decent shave or a bath in days, probably since this all started.

“He’s been such a fussy kid lately,” Max flopped back on his position on the couch with a loud sigh. “Same with all the other kids who go to that daycare.”

“Think it’s the bad water?” I asked, nodding to the absolute mountain of water bottles by the front door, barely contained in their garbage bags.

Max shrugged, running his hands through his hair. “I just… I don’t know. His eczema is acting up again too, but that might just be because of the heat. We’ve been using bottled water for almost everything, including baths. I feel like I need a long shower, but every time we turn on the pipes it’s just,” he shuddered, “Well, you know.”

I patted my brother’s back. “Maybe you can come over and stay at our house for a bit? I doubt Dale will mind.”

Max was quiet, shifting uncomfortably and staring at his clasped hands before he spoke up.

“Joel, did Dad- did Dale do anything weird, leading up to Harmony’s recovery? Was he acting quiet, or did… did he go out to the woods late at night?”

I remembered what happened the night before Harmony’s miracle. Up till then, I’d made myself believe it was really some kind of dream. I swallowed. “Why?” I responded, trying to keep my voice level.

It didn’t work. Max’s eyes narrowed and I could tell he knew I knew something. “When did he go out there, Joel?” He said, his voice quiet and icy cold.

“Why does it matter?” I asked, still trying to avoid answering the question.

Max chewed on his lip, a small speck of blood forming when he ripped off a piece of dried skin. “It matters, Joel. You’re not his blood, so I don’t blame him for not telling you, but… there’s something you do need to know about those woods. About the far back, past the lake, through the wet cave, there’s a patch of trees-”

Max was cut off by a loud crash from the kitchen. I just about jumped out of my skin and Max was up, bolting for the source of the sound.

“Lisa!? Lisa! What’s wrong?”

I got up and followed behind Max, nearly bumping into him as he stood frozen in the doorway.

Lisa was on all fours, groping wildly at the floor and murmuring something to herself that I couldn’t quite make out. My heart hammering in my chest, I pushed past Max and slowly walked into the kitchen. “Lisa? You all right?” I asked.

I nearly stepped on it, since it mostly blended into the white linoleum floor. But at the last second I saw the red stumps protruding from the back of the small white orbs. I nudged one with my foot and I actually pissed my pants a little when I saw the light brown irises of Lisa’s eyes staring back at me.

“My… my eyes…”

The hair on my neck stood right up as I looked towards Lisa, who’s head lifted up in my direction, likely hearing my panicked breathing.

“H-help me find my eyes?”

I stared into the black sockets of Lisa’s skull, her face pale as her hands continued to blindly grope along the kitchen floor. A maggot crawled out of her left eye, squirming onto her cheek before dropping onto the floor.

I screamed. I ran. I ran right into the front door and knocked myself out. Not exactly a thing to be proud of, but fuck it. I saw a woman searching for her fallen out eyes. When I came to, the ambulance was there, rushing Lisa to the hospital while another EMT was making sure I didn’t accidentally give myself a concussion in my panic to get away. I didn’t, but it didn’t matter. Max had already headed to the hospital with Jayce and I was left in their home alone, unable to get the image of Lisa’s eyeless face out of my mind.

I had Dale pick me up, but I was too scared to ask him about the wet cave and the patch of woods behind it.

There was one other person I could ask what went down that night though. I could ask my sister, Harmony-Rose.

I found her in her bedroom that night, sitting at the foot of her bed and staring into her mirror. In her hands was clutched the light pink handkerchief she’d used to cover her head once the chemo took her hair away.

I sat on the bed behind her, waiting for her to come out of whatever thought she was in. We sat in silence for a few minutes before she turned around.

“Joel? I think something’s wrong with me.”

My stomach turned. I was about to ask if she was feeling sick again when I looked at her… I mean, really looked at her.

Sure, she had been bouncing back, but she looked almost entirely back to normal now. The weight had been put back on in a matter of days, and her hair was already regrowing, reaching to cover her ears… but it wasn’t really her hair, either.

Harmony-Rose had our mother’s hair, dark brown, sleek and smooth. And I had heard about how when a chemo patient’s hair grows back, sometimes it looks a bit different. The texture’s changed, the color’s lightened or darkened.

The texture had changed, now it was much curlier, but the color was what got me. Parts were the same, but other locks had grown in a shocking shade of silver. I reached forward to give her hair a tussle and was surprised by how thick it had become. “Do you feel different?” I asked.

Harmony shook her head. “I feel… fine. Too fine. Recovery shouldn’t- it just doesn’t go like this. I shouldn’t be building back muscle so fast, I shouldn’t be,” She ran her hands through her new grown hair, “my hair should be taking its time, and it’s almost normal now, except for the… color…” She shuddered. “Joel, what’s happening to me?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. But I have a theory.”

I told her about what I saw the night before her recovery began. When I finished, Harmony had gone white as a sheet, but her eyes lit up with the return of some memories of that night.

“I thought I was asleep,” Harmony tugged at the strands of her hair, “And just had some really whacked out dreams.”

“What happened?” I urged her to say.

Harmony took a deep breath to clear her thoughts.

“I remember Dad carrying me out back. Like when I was little and I’d fall asleep on the couch during a movie. I knew I could feel I was outside, because it was windy, but I was too tired to really do anything except lay still. Dad carried me for a long time, I remember hearing the leaves crunching under his feet. Then we walked through someplace… maybe underground? His footsteps echoed off the walls. And then when we left that he set me down on my feet. Told me to walk alongside him. There was wet needles under my feet and the place smelled like bad breath and something sickly sweet. We were surrounded by pine trees. I didn’t really open my eyes, I was so tired, but when I did, I saw… things. Eyes looking out from between the branches. Big, yellow eyes. I couldn’t even make out what they belonged to, dad just hurried me along and told me I couldn’t stop.

“We came to this large… rock. I think. There was someone sitting on top, with very long legs and arms. Like twice the size they should’ve been. Dad helped me lie down in the dirt in front of the rock and told me to go back to sleep. I tried, but his voice kept me awake. I think he was talking to the person on the rock, told them he had the key, and was willing to make an exchange,” Harmony reached up, touching the locks of hair that were now colorless, “And something wet and slimy touched my head… I was too scared to reopen my eyes. And I heard… I heard someone else say that it would be done. Suddenly I was just so cold, I couldn’t stop shivering, and it feels like there’s hundreds of bugs crawling all over me…  the next thing I know I’m waking up in bed, and I’m hungry, and I don’t feel like a pile of garbage.

I glanced out back to the forest that had surrounded my home. The very thought that something was actually dangerous in there was, well, it felt stupid. I played back there almost every day as a kid and saw nothing more than squirrels and birds, maybe the occasional garter snake or deer. But nothing like what she described.

“I’m going to go see.”

I don’t know why I felt like it was so important for me to go check it out, but I had to be sure for myself.

I was barely out the back door when I heard a click and saw the beam of a flashlight. I turned to see Harmony right behind me, wearing a coat that finally fit her again instead of making her look like she was drowning in cloth. I originally opened my mouth to object to her coming along, but I shut it just as quickly and started walking.

The far back of the woods. Past the lake and the wet cave. Harmony and I walked in almost complete silence, only hearing the croaking of frogs and chirping crickets that hung heavily on the night air. I’d been back here so often I knew what Max was talking about. I’d only gone in the cave once, but since it was so gross I only poked my head in and never went back. When I walked through it this time, I felt Harmony’s hand in mine, I felt it shake.

When we exited into the forest behind the cave, we were officially in a place I had never been before. Even the trees looked different, the flashlight casting long shadows along the pebbles that looked like claws. While my steps got more uncertain on the stone path, Harmony’s pace picked up.

“I remember… this. I remember this.”

Harmony breathed in slowly, her gaze flicking back and forth. “Whatever you do, Joel, don’t look to the sides. They’ll eat you alive,” She said.

I knew better than to ask how the hell she knew that. “Why won’t they eat you?” I asked, the hair on my neck standing up. Back here not even the crickets were making a racket, the only sounds were my breathing and the occasional snap of a twig past the treeline, just enough to let me know that we weren’t alone.

“Because whatever my dad did to me, it made me a part of them.”

Harmony and I kept walking until we reached the clearing, where the heavy silence was finally broken by something else. Arguing.

It took me longer than normal to recognize Max’s voice, his words were colliding and slurring together so they were barely recognizable. Harmony’s grip on my hand turned so tight it nearly cut off circulation, and we both ducked behind a tree before peering around to see Max.

He was so drunk he was barely standing up straight, his cheeks bright red and his hair sticking up with sweat. At the very back of the small clearing was something I recognized as an obelisk, made of a black flecked gray stone and carved with letters I couldn’t recognize. And by the obelisk was Dale.

“So all those years… every fuckin’ year you told me that it was the most important fuckin’ responsibility,” Max swayed back and forth, barely catching himself from just falling to the ground, “You were just talking out of your ass? Because the moment you need something, you c-come back here and let them out?!”

Dale was quiet, his face expressionless. “… We were out of-”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking give me that shit, dad!” Max burst into messy sobs, tears rolling down his cheeks and snot dribbling from his nose. “Lisa’s dead! So many people are dead, because you took the key and let them out to save Harmony!”

“She’s your sister-”

“So what about other people’s sisters?!” Max pointed an accusatory finger at Dale, spittle flying from his mouth as he began to scream at his father. “What about other people’s wives?! Other people’s s-s-sooonns….” Max trailed off before he threw his head back and screamed into the sky.

Dale finally showed something other than apathy, blinking a few times in shock before he looked concerned. “What happened to Jayce?” He asked softly.

“I don’t fucking know, how about you ask your fucking monsters?!” Max pointed up and I finally noticed there was someone sitting on top of the obelisk.

It was just as Harmony recounted for me earlier, a man with limbs twice as long as they should’ve been, but his face… the gray skin was stretched so tightly over his skull, his lips parted in a painful looking smile as his yellow eyes stared down at the arguing pair.

Dale glanced up at that… that thing. “What happened to Jayce, then, Balem?”

Balem yawned, revealing rows upon rows of needle teeth in his mouth that stretched back down his throat and covered his pointed tongue that was dripping in a thick white saliva. When he spoke, his mouth moved a moment slower than the words leaving him, like he was lipsyncing along to his speech. “What happened to the rest of the children at that Greenhill daycare. The carpet cleaner was diluted with water- tap water. They were infested.” Balem’s manic grin returned.

Dale’s face went white as a sheet. He stammered for a few moments, trying to come up with a response. “I’m so sorry, Max, I didn’t mean for this-”

“And you still did it!” Max cackled, his eyes rolling into his head to only show their whites as he continued to laugh without sounding a least bit amused. When he finally stopped, his face twisted in such a way I could barely recognize him as my stepbrother anymore. “You fucking hypocrite. You traded everyone’s lives for Harmony, the same thing you told me not to do for anyone- not even mom.”

Dale stared at his shoes. I think he knew he was in the wrong here, but there was really no coming back from what he’d done. “… It’ll only be for a bit more, Max, a week or two more and Harmony will be completely healed,” He said.

“And what’ll happen during those two weeks!?” Max shook his head. “Unbelievable. So, what’s the deal? As long as she’s alive and recovering in town, these freaks get full run of the place? I can think of a good way to end that.”

My heart almost stopped at the implication. Dale looked ready to be sick. “No, no, you can’t! If you hurt her, then all of this would be for nothing!”

“It already was!” Max began winding his way through the clearing. “You’re responsible for everyone who’s getting hurt and killed! You did! You might as well have put a gun to their head! At least when I kill Harmony, it’ll be peaceful, and she’ll never know her life was paid for with her nephew’s blood-”

It happened so fast. Max took a step too close to Dale and Dale grabbed Max by the head, slamming his son into the obelisk so hard his skull cracking sounded like a gunshot.

Max slid to the ground, his smashed head leaving a streak of blood on the stone. A shrieking laugh echoed through the clearing and I looked up to see this ‘Balem’ clapping, rocking back and forth on his obelisk. I now saw there was a chain wrapped around his neck, with a padlock hanging open from one of the links.

“Too good! Too good, Dale!” Balem’s chattering his jaw, his teeth making a disturbing clattering sound. “The drama has been made perfect with the audience!” Balem’s gaze landed right where we were and he pointed one of his long fingers towards us.

Dale slowly turned, the blood of his son dripping down his hands from where he bashed Max’s head into the stone. Harmony shoved me down into the ground before she stepped out from behind the tree, muttering ‘stay still’ as she walked into plain view of Balem and Dale.

“Dad?” Harmony looked at Max’s body before back to their father. “You killed Max?”

Dale began to shake, the once imposing man turning into a shadow of his former self. He dropped to his knees, burying his face in his hands as he began to sob, sputtering out half apologies and weak explanations about this being the only choice.

“I couldn’t lose you, Harmony Rose. I’d sacrifice the world for you,” were the only words that were really clear, since the rest was slurred out by his sobbing and crying.

Harmony just shook her head before glancing up the obelisk. Silently she approached it, where Balem leaned down, actually managing to get down to her level. “Aren’t you going to thank me?” The monster said, cocking his head to the side, his ever grinning face looking downright smug.

Harmony took a deep breath. “As long as the lock’s open,” She pointed to the padlock, “you and… everything else can go wherever you want?”

Balem nodded. “And your blood cancer will continue to fade. Once it’s gone, you’ll live to a hundred and two, thanks to my interference,” He said.

For several long seconds, Harmony just stood there, still as a statue. Then she reached up and clicked the padlock shut.

Nothing monumental happened- Balem didn’t start melting into goo, and I didn’t hear the screams of several monsters being forced back into their forest prison. Balem didn’t even stop smiling, only reaching up to pat Harmony gently on the head. “You still stand a chance to beat it, since I healed it enough to where treatment might actually make a difference. You’re welcome, and you’re such a good girl, so I hope to see you again. I haven’t made a bargain with your family for years. It was great fun. Now go home, girl, and take your half brother with you. I think you’ll both want to miss the final act of this drama.”

Nodding, Harmony backed away from Balem before turning around and sprinting back to the treeline, yanking me back up to my feet. We bolted down the path, together. I took a single look back to see Dale, still on his knees, while swarms of long legged pure black creatures began to swarm him.

It’s been a month. Max’s body was found, but there was no mention of an obelisk, and Dale was just gone. Harmony’s recovery is starting to slide, but where it is now, it is far more likely she’ll beat it. She’s been quiet, running her fingers through the still silvery curls on her head. She hasn’t said it, but we both hope if her hair falls out this time, it’ll grow back the way it used to be. Mom’s been a wreck, losing Dale, Max, Lisa and Jayce has really fucked her up. But we’ll make it through this.

I found something though. Last night, after both Harmony and my mom went to bed, I heard someone knock at the door and opened it to find a small leather pouch on the porch. I dumped the contents into my hand and I felt sick.

It’s a key. A key made of the same material the obelisk was, just the right size for the padlock attached to the chain on Balem’s neck.

[drainxx]

Dec 26th 2023

Hey everyone, the past few days I’d been struggling with my old binges and avoiding tumblr a bit because I just needed to figure myself out before posting anything about my plans going forward, because I really didn’t have one. I think the root of the problem was not having enough structure in my routine.

So yesterday (Xmas) I put in the time and work and calculated everything for the new year so that I have an exact plan that will get me to my Ugw using basic math and it’s probably the best thing I’ve done yet. I used my BMR, total calories in a pound, my stats, how many calories I personally burn from the exercise of my choice, and got the number of total calories that are in the full amount of weight I need to loose and and divided it across the amount of time I wanted to reach my goal. Are these methods unhealthy? Yes. But! I made sure to not only decrease the time period so that I’d get the fastest results, but also make sure the time period and daily calorie limit is long enough and high enough for me to consistently maintain and realistically achieve.

For a lot of people this limit would be ridiculously low (maybe not for you guys hehe), but I’ve gotten so used to staying lower that it’s going to be a piece of cake for me. And as long as I stay under this limit every day until my end date, i will be loosing enough calories each day regardless, that I will most likely reach my Ugw either before or near that time slot. This brings me so much peace of mind knowing that my cal limit is actually going to work and actively taking me closer to my goal. I made myself a planner as well yesterday and I’m going to make the book I did all the math in, my Ana book and write other ana related things inside to help me along the way. I’ve never felt like I’ve had this in the bag so much and I just know I’m going to get there now. Talk about honey moon phase level relapse.

I thought the idea of waiting until the new year to start my new lifestyle/ diet plan would be a bad idea, as throwing yourself head first into a long term change on New Year’s Day causes a lot of people to fail sooner than later. So I decided to start my diet plan the same day I made it, starting on Christmas, that way I could get used to it before the new year pressure started and I’d be secure already in my new habits.

And my head was spinning with all these new rules and hope that I didn’t even want to eat yesterday on day one because I wanted to kick it off with a bang. I forced myself to have 455 calories total anyway yesterday so that I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling restricted and getting too hungry tomorrow but I really felt like i didn’t need the precaution and that I’d be fine fasting that day. I woke up this morning feeling guilty for having those 455 cals yesterday even though it’s significantly lower than my max limit and I burned more than enough to start this challenge yesterday. It’s crazy how much this structure has changed my mindset on food and I genuinely believe I can do it.

If you want the details of how I calculated all this and how I know the actual limit I need to have to burn enough each day to loose as much as I want by a certain date, let me know and if there’s enough people I’ll make a post about it showing you how I did it. :)

[macgyvermedical]

"F*** Fritz Haber", A Line That Will Be Going On A Cross Stitch Some Day

At this point in history, Fritz Haber's creations have on net created more people than they have killed.

At this point.

On net.

See, Dr. Haber invented the synthesis of ammonia at a commercial scale (and if you're thinking "he definitely also invented... a couple of other things" you're right- we'll get to that in a second).

This was very important because in 1894, when he patented the Haber-Bosch process, the estimated max number of people the earth could support was approx. 3 billion. A number that at the time was expected to be passed some time in the late 1930s (two world wars and a massive flu pandemic meant it actually happened in the 1950s). This caused a lot of anxiety around the world.

How does ammonia change this? World's first hand sanitizer or something? Nope- it's because ammonia was the first artificially produced nitrogen fertilizer. A process that could produce it on a commercial scale allowed the world to produce far more food than ever before possible.

See, without some level of artificial fertilizer, even if you re-invest every scrap of natural fertilizer available back into compost for crops (we're talking composting EVERYTHING too, all animal waste (poop and pee), all human waste (poop and pee), food scraps, yard scraps, farm scraps, leaves, etc...) on every piece of grow-able land you can find or make, you end up with about enough food for 3 billion mostly-vegetarian people (disclaimer that this is a very general statement that IRL has a lot of nuance).

With today's world population swiftly approaching 8 billion, very roughly about 5 billion people owe their lives to the invention of the Haber-Bosch process and the updates that came later, which made it possible to triple or even quadruple yields by giving crops as much nitrogen as they could use and thus allowing the same space to produce many times as much food and support many more people.

Now, you might be saying "so what's the catch?" ...and that's 3-fold.

First, you may have heard of problems with nitrogen fertilizer runoff. Nitrogen fertilizer like ammonia ends up in streams, rivers, and lakes, causing algal blooms that decimate many other necessary forms of life.

Second, the Haber-Bosch process requires a massive amount of heat energy. Generally, this is provided by fossil fuels. Since we haven't yet found a substance as conveniently energy-dense as fossil fuels, as these fuels become scarcer, this process becomes markedly more expensive. The average input of fossil fuels in fertilizer alone is about 3 calories fuel per calorie food produced. While this may seem small, it is not something that is indefinitely sustainable, especially when you consider fossil fuels are generally becoming more and more energy-intense to mine and refine. The big problem here being- once it becomes prohibitively expensive to produce the fertilizers that keep everyone eating, what will happen to the 5 billion of us that are only alive due to this process?

Third, and this is the kicker, Fritz also invented a lot of other things. A lot of other things that ultimately killed a lot of people in a lot of extremely horrifying ways.

Have you ever heard of a chemical weapon? Fritz invented them. Modern nerve agents excepted. Mustard gas? Phosgene? Chlorine? Cyanide gas? Fritz either invented them or figured out how to deploy them in war. This guy is responsible for all chemical weapon deaths in World War 1 (about 100,000, with nearly 1.3 mil injured), and for that was branded The Father of Chemical Weapons. Since WWI, the total number of casualties from chemical weapons totaled about 1 million.

Jewish, Haber was kicked out of Germany's war chemistry arena in 1933. In a darkly ironic twist, he died in 1934 of a heart attack, but not before he invented a form of cyanide-based pesticide with the trade name Zyklon. Re-packaged later with a safety feature, it was called Zyklon A.

Then, that safety feature removed, it was later re-branded Zyklon B- the Nazis' chemical weapon of choice for killings in concentration camps, killing more than 6,000 per day at Auschwitz.

So while technically you have on average a 60% chance of only being alive today because of Fritz Haber, his technologies directly caused the deaths of millions, and indirectly, if nothing changes in the very near future, the likely future deaths of billions.

[illness]

After a rough year of health, my grandpa departed from this plane about 28 hours ago. I’m treating myself kindly, but my heart has a noticeable absence inside.

He was a guy who always, always did everything for everyone – if you need your deck restained? Done. Need a new shower? Give him like a week and it’s there. Want a new window? Yeah dude he had it done in a day or two. Like. A tree fell through this man’s ceiling and he had it tidied up, with assistance, in a week. When my mom needed a ramp for her wheelchair in her final months, he had it made in a few days. He got shit done, always with others in mind.

He was also secretive with a lot of things; we knew he was declining over the past year just by looking at him, his tremors, a noticeable decrease in blood flow. But he was still doing jobs and painting houses. He was just that kind of guy and I respected it heavily. I envy it still. Everything he labored was with love and care that you could not find from anyone else. He amazed me.

He was preceded in death by the love of his life, we’ll call him Dean. I never met Dean – he passed a little before the turn of the century, so I only know him in stories. They helped raise my mother together – her mom wasn’t in the picture for much of her adolescence, but those two were. My mom only ever spoke in adoration of them. Things weren’t stable and they moved a lot, but they had love – and they always had her. I knew he did experience a few hate crimes, around the 60s or 70s, which breaks my heart. I never brought up his sexuality with him – mainly because it wasn’t my business, and I felt no need to prod at him about this open familial secret – but I wish he could have lived in the time that I do right now. Even with all its trials and tribulations. Despite all that… he had many admirers. Male and female. A real ladykiller. That did come with some stalking… he had a man who was highly interested in him try to sneak in through the dog door in his house. 🫣 even still, I can see where they’re coming from… he was a stud!

Speaking on my mother, my grandpa would move mountains for her. When we would go on our little beach excursion every year, he would go to our house and always fix something up or add some new fixture. I remember him totally redoing our kitchen, our bathroom, our dingy little porch in the back… we would be gone for a week max, so he would check on our animals and workshop. He still did this even in a damn recession. No cost, no questions, just love.

And the animals he had! He grew up on a farm with a slew of sisters and a few brothers, and he just always had something. He had these gorgeous salukis with my mom when she was growing up, and once he got his own house, he would always have his own dog and a crowd of stray cats that he would inevitably befriend. He even rescued a baby squirrel and raised it before trying to send it back into the wild – I think it stuck around in his backyard for the most part, still visiting him and climbing on his his shoulders. The animal who held his heart the most was Sam, a golden retriever my mom picked out herself and gifted him. He lived to about 8 or 9, but that was his soul animal.

Following Dean, the other loss that changed him was my mom. It’s almost been half a decade since she left, and I knew that broke him. His only daughter gone before 50 – what do you do? I don’t know. But he still kept my sister and I in mind, always, making sure we were set. He left us a house – the same house we all grew up in, with decades of work inside. All for my sibling and I to live comfortably. A house with the most beautiful backyard full of elephant ears, hydrangeas, tulips, pea pods. A backyard that I spent hours running around in, with a shed that’s got tools for days and a fully working kitchen. Somehow.

I don’t know where I’m really going with this. The fact that he spent so many of his final years making sure our family would be okay, to set up this level of comfort for us – I have been musing over it constantly these past few days.

Something I loved about him was how comfortable with silence he was. I would walk with him and his dog in the neighborhood as a child, rattling off sentences constantly, and he just nodded and listened. As I got older, I became quieter for a multitude of reasons. I remember just sitting in the yard while he did his work, never feeling pressure to talk – we didn’t need to. Taking in nature instead of forcing small talk. I never thought that I would miss not saying anything with him, because there’s so much I wish I could have asked him, even still. Though I regret not opening up more, I still look upon the quiet fondly. He appreciated it, and I appreciated him for it.

I’m going to miss him a lot. Understatement. Getting older has been very hard on me and I’m not even at a quarter of a century yet, lol. My heart is sore but I am eternally grateful for what he’s taught me and what he has left for our family to continue on with.

I will close this jumble of words with my favorite story about him. One day, circa early 70s, my grandpa calls out of work and tells his boss he’s sick. Really, he just wanted to take his daughter to the park with her mother/his spouse at the time. Conveniently, someone with the local paper is there and snaps a quick pic of the group after a brief chat.

The next day, he’s reading the paper, checking the weather for the week… and then he sees it:

I don’t know if his boss found out or if there were repercussions, but it’s still my favorite thing to recount. It’s just such a thing he would absolutely do. I love it.

No amount of words could properly sum up who he was, truthfully. He was one in a trillion, and I am grateful that I had the honor of being part of his time on Earth. I had a less-than-stellar childhood and upbringing at times, but he was always a safe space for me. It’s a high honor to be a man in my life with little flaw – he is one of the few I can bestow that upon. I can’t exaggerate just how much of a beacon of light he was in our lives.

I’m grateful that I was able to hold his hand as he transitioned, becoming free of the ailments that tried to rescind his independence. I will never know what waits for us after life, but I’d like to think that he is in some sort of heaven – adding a fresh coat of paint onto the pearly gates, dozens of animals and people eagerly awaiting his arrival. I know he’s back with the loves of his life, the ones he longed for from the moment they departed; his daughter, his Dean, and his Sam-bone. How beautiful and deserved that is for him, my Papa, to be free of decades-long grief. ❤️

[spookyrobbins]

callie is absolutely guilty for sleeping with him in s7, but mark was definitely sober enough to not be opportunistic and use her vulnerability to his advantage. the reality is that he did that more than once throughout their friendship. callie was just too happy to have the “hot” guy after her to notice or care. he’s a shitty friend and nobody can convince me otherwise. i’m still pissed they went that direction, cause it led to him being even more involved in their relationship than he already was. like idk but the older i get, the more i realize and understand just how toxic he was to everyone around him. grey’s thought they had something with their friendship and the co-parenting shit, but it’s just so gross looking back at it. and eric makes it worse. he can be just as gross.

also, did they ever really say how many times they slept together? the way they framed it kinda made me think it might’ve happened that night and the morning after before callie put a stop to it. like i don’t know if she had it in her to completely go back into a fwb with him after arizona. i think she realized quickly that it made her feel worse and that she missed her even more than before. it didn’t work for her anymore.

idk maybe i’m trying to give callie too much credit.

the whole bmoc aspect of mark for callie frankly is under discussed. we know that callie was at least somewhat awkward in high school (who wasn’t lol) and also seems to put a lot of weight/self worth into her relationships. she pursues (what i’d consider) “safe” relationships for the most part. george is this sort of dorky, awkward guy who should be safe and she’s out of his league so he should be happy to be with her. penny defs also falls into that category (plus the added aspect of the professional differences which is a whole other discussion point). erica was less safe bc she was a woman but she was also sort of safe in the way that callie was kind of her only friend at the hospital (erica openly says she doesn’t like most people but she likes callie). i think arizona was safe in a way for callie early on in part bc she was the one who initially pursued callie and then pursued her again after changing her mind. but also arizonas more complicated for callie in other ways

mark though, callie thinks mark is out of her league for a relationship. she thinks it’s fine to be friends or friends with benefit. but i don’t think she ever considered a romantic relationship in part bc she thinks mark is out of her league. mark on some level represents all those popular guys in high school who didn’t pay attention to her and she probably had a crush on one of them. but mark is her friend, he wants to have sex with her, he’s into her. and that validates a lot of things for callie.

and for mark, i kinda think it’s a bit high school too. he likes the idea of having this sort of permanent fwb who soothes his ego and reassures him that he’s a good person or something. it’s a bit like the hot football player stringing along the nerd in a way.

and to that end, i don’t think mark ever liked callie in relationships. maybe it’s just because he and lexie are broken up and he’s lonely, but whenever he’s single he’s significantly more involved in calzona and regularly needles at issues in their relationship (babies and africa most notably) like it goes beyond trying to offer callie advice, he actively prods at things.

which is all to say that i don’t think it’s out of the question at all that mark was more aware of what was going on that night. he was opportunistic. he liked having a fwb thing with callie. arizona wasn’t in the picture and callie wanted sex. and mark gets exactly what he wants

i’m really not sure how long they were hooking up. arizonas gone for what like 3ish episodes? and there aren’t tons of date markers in s7. if i had to guess, i’d say arizona was max gone for 4-6 weeks, minimum like 3 weeks. i don’t think it’s out of the question to go with mark and callie only hooking up twice. but i think you could also work it out with them hooking up over the course of a week or a few sporadically and callie’s never that into it but she wants to not be broken hearted and thinking about arizona even if it makes her feel worse. (plus i don’t think it’s out of the question to consider that callie was maybe subconsciously trying to punish arizona by sleeping with mark knowing of her insecurity there)

[ragnar0c]

I’m getting Deja vu….

WE 100%ed EO3HD!!

(Technically I had last month, but you know… Overlord squid…. I’m still salty abt it.) As planned I’m going to scream about my guild and builds. So very long post.

You’d think since I used the same exact party as I did on my ds that maybe this post would be shorter. WRONG. I have OPTIMIZED THEM AND ADDED NEW MEMBERS. Switch Ragnarok>>> DS Ragnarok. On switch they do a lot more damage, and definitely have more tricks up their sleeves.

Mainly, I noticed wolf howl did crazy numbers and that each member, save Hana could cast an ailment. Then… caved in and tried a wildling for the first time and added a few other members. Which I’ll explain as we go on.

Anyway guild rambles GO!!

Alope

This run Alope gets the shield!! Sorry Hana, Alope needs the stats more than you!!

My thoughts on her are kinda the same. Early game she wasn’t as good as I remembered on ds… She would suck, but when everyone else was struggling she’d land a confusion or take a hit… OR SOMETHING!! She came in clutch. Always!! Even if it was the craziest shit!!

She’s got a few more play styles besides b.vow+ charge +hit. Dropped wild swings, and some points in otori.

Instead, I’ve maxed crushing blow, she’s almost guaranteed to land confusion on something in battle if she doesn’t kill it before then. Paired with Hana’s WOLF HOWL makes her do numbers!! Also maxed freezing blow, I think she does 2k more against certain bosses compared to her ds counter part.

She’s subbed ninja, and I used it to make her a sort of phys dodge tank + double damage. Which I think I did on ds, but I really went into it the dodge tank this time. She’ll spawn DuAlope (her clone) and use otori on her, while DuAlope uses flight… Kinda makes the enemies with multihits not a problem… Also decided to also get her the reflexes skill. So TP regen WOOOOO.

Thinking of retiring her for the luck boost, but part of my strat with her is that she’s real slow. If her AGI is over 80 she’ll be crazy fast. So Idk.

Ignis

I got the parry skills early for him. AMAZING DECISION. Second stratum I had a rough patch with everyone except him… and he covered for them while they made up for their mistakes. AND HE PARRIED A WHOLE LOT…

I skipped a few skills i got him on DS (Vigilance, Shrug off) to max his defense ones and get farmer skills. (Persistence at a higher lvl, safe stroll, to market, lullaby)

He still makes exploration so easy for me, and can still take that nap that lets me get a free turn against abyssal god. He’s really good, but… I’ve notice he does nothing a lot more on my switch. Alope can soak most physical damage, Hana can predict a lot of the elementals, and I have a whole other hoplite I’ll get into later.

I don’t use him as much as I should 😭

Tank

Mr. I’m the lowest level early game to Mr. first to hit level 99 🤪

His skill tree was/ always IS SOO MESSED UP the first half the game. Had to rest him, thought I ruined him. NOPE. He’s good!! The best even.

He’s what you expect, he’s an arbalist gladiator. He kinda mows everything down. The discovery of wolf howl + ailement changed his numbers a LOT. He can almost two shot superbosses.

I invested points in smoke bomb so he can land blind… Fun to do on turns where it’s too risky to attack or b.vow.

Hana

All the big numbers? They are thanks to HER AND THE WILDLING I USE.

Early game, Hana was. Well, Hana. She actually fumbled a bit more than her ds counterpart. (Missed a lot more). As she leveled up, she evened out .

Hana has… Quite a lot of points to spare. Basically after level 70 she just has like 30 skill points to kill. Initially, I was against getting the prophecies (I mean I have two hoplites). So I invested it in wolf howl bc I saw it increased attack by a lot when an enemy was ailed.

So now Hana has like. 4+ play styles. Old reliable elementals with limit scrolls, Meteor, Wolf howler, and… I caved in and got the prophecies (Volt and ice for now, but plan to retire her so she can get fire too). I realized with her and Alope I could block all physicals and elementals… and I would be able hit harder without a hoplite.

She gets to mix and match so much now, and she caters to all the team offense, defense, support… she’s kinda the glue…!! More so than on ds!

Enid

Okay, Enid is one that hasn’t changed much. I had tried to mix attack monk skills in their tree. Bc attack monks are good and I wanted to spice up the guild. But uhm it was not Alope and Tank level good. (To cut them slack, Alope is only good bc there are two of her and her defense is higher. Tank? Sorry Arbalists are s tier… Comparing them isn’t fair.) Enid would get in Alope’s way a lot, which is kinda funny to imagine.

So at the half way point, we swapped Enid back to his natural state. The over powered speedy monk sovereign. Realistically, it makes sense given their character arc I had planned…

Only difference I can think of is… I finally see the use in full heal. Regular healing when Alope regularly sheds 846 hp? NO. Full heal her, it costs less!! (EO1 taught me that) Also, Enid has… quite a lot of skill points to spare. Which I’d put into idk Monarch March, or Guard order. But I… don’t know. I feel bad for leaving their fist skills behind. I might invest in Kikoken for the ailment… and fist mastery if i retire them.

Okay lighting round:

These 4 members I used when I didn’t feel like dealing with certain bosses with my main party. Their skills were junk at the time. (Anemone first try, Alraune first try, Kraken first try too.)

Caspian: The legendary hoplite ninja. Not to clone herself, but to dodge tank the hell out of everything and infinite regen tp. I think I used her for all first the super boss fights on switch, save for Abyssal God. She kinda makes Ignis look bad, Ignis can take more hits than her, but like. It doesn’t matter. She’s not getting hit!! She does what Alope does, but deals less damage. Decided to just make Alope do the work, or have these two work together. (They are unstoppable)

Ryouta: I really wanted to try attack monk. So I made him. HE’S VERY GOOD. Mainly used him when Alope and Tank were working on 9 smashes and Front Mortar. He did wonders against the 3 bosses listed above. But once Alope and Tank got their skills, I kinda benched him. Will feed him strength books and will see how long that lasts tho!! He’s not the 3 play style type guy like the rest, but hey! Being simple is in character for him!!

Ezra: Double action zodiac. Used him mainly bc Anemone… Also I wanted to use him to see if he could compare to Hana. But Uh. I don’t know what I was expecting BAHAHA. He’s still really good, just not against Elder, Kraken, or Abyssal God.

Izem: MY PRIDE AND JOY… DO YOU SEE HIS ATTACK??? THAT IS FROM COUNTLESS SLAUGHTERS OF THE ABYSSAL GOD WITH THE MAIN GUILD…! He hits very hard now, and I hardly use him compared to the ds version of his build. I used him against Kraken (5 ringed sword) Anemone (warriors might). But he’s so frail you need a hoplite staring him dead in the eye. I’ll work on it. I need one more AG kill to max his weapon and I’m thinking of taking him to do it with the guild.

OKAY LASTLY….

Smiley

TBH… I didn’t like wildlings before her. The class’s designs rubbed me the wrong way. (No black people until the class is offense, or rooted in the wild 😟 and they are almost always naked I just make black EO ocs now *sigh*) They’re clunky early game… I can’t imagine using one a whole run tbh. I only started actually using her post game. I saw a friend chose another class portrait for their wildling and put a spin on it… So. Now we got a clown wildling!

I didn’t think I’d like her, but after giving her some personality and seeing her ailments land so often… I decided to add her in Ignis’s place more often. Her debuffs (Primal drums, ailments, eagle eye) ABSOLUTE GAME CHANGER… She and Hana like quadruple the guild’s attack.

I’m adjusting the Abyssal god team to fit her on it… If she does her magic with Hana… Alope and Tank’s attacks reach 5 digits. Every other fight is so short I can’t even meet the circumstances to land the 5 digits…

Sometimes she misses or whatever, but I forgive her. She’s great.

So uh…

…

Playing HD made me pay more attention to the surroundings and enemy designs… Also gave me access to a lot more scenarios and characters for my guild… 🥹 Sometimes were as cool as my first times!! I’m really happy I got to 100% eo3 twice the same year. With the same party (yet different). AKDJDKAK Okay end blog post— if you got this far…. UHHHH love you. K bye.

[pikipekarmy]

How To Beat Giovanni

I'm just gonna go ahead and admit it: the secret to beating the Rocket Boss Giovanni, who I find much more palatable as the ringleader of a very eccentric LARP group rather than as any kind of plausibly genuine entity, stay tuned for more off-the-wall Rocket theories folks, is:

the power of friendship

I have an issue where I'm slightly worried I've leveled up in this game too fast. I really genuinely honestly love sending and getting the little postcard gifts, those are an obsession for me, and I put stickers on them and they're a lifeline when you're anywhere rural where there's no convenient pokestop walking trail etc (do you know how tedious it is to sit across from the only pokestop for miles with a five-minute timer on your watch spinning the damn thing every five minutes on the dot for hours?) But I have a suspicion those give you too much XP without corresponding game play. And so I hit the point where I'm expected to be able to defeat Giovanni, but I haven't caught that many Pokemon relative to my XP level. That's my suspicion, anyway, because-- well, to beat the Rocket Leaders, I'd already learned that I had to find a primer on what critters they had, and then figure out the type vulnerabilities and go through my deck and find critters with the correct attacks and make sure they were appropriately leveled, and I'd studied up on Giovanni, so the first time I encountered him I went out with my strongest quick-charging-charged-attack fighter, and then I had three possibles for his middle guy, each carefully chosen, and then I had my counter for his final guy, and I got out there and made it through his Persian and then-- whoever the second guy was would just chew up everything i had no matter what. And this was before I hit on my superstition about keeping no fewer than six guys defending gyms as lures to get revives (I genuinely think this is superstition on my part but I believe it super deeply, I'm very easy to condition) so I didn't have enough revives to just keep trying and trying it, I had to give up.

So I went to my various little Discord channels, and first I confirmed with my online friends who got me into this mess that I'd read the instructions right and had the correct guys loaded up to exploit his type vulnerabilities etc., and then I went to the local group and asked if anyone had any tips in the newbie-friendly-help channel, and both groups came back with

you need better pokemon

which is way harsh but was demonstrably true. Well, what pokemon do I need? Machamp, he's the best fighting type. Well, where do I get one?

mm. He doesn't seem to be currently widely available in the game. Everyone has like a dozen or two of them who's been playing more than a couple months, but. yeah there was maybe a community day? Nobody could remember where they'd gotten theirs. People checked. Oh yeah I've had all mine two years or more. Oh yeah hm. No, they're not spawning anywhere currently.

Well okay what else can I do? If I need a specific Pokemon--

well, I leveled up the guys I had, I spent a while reading up on how to use Technical Machines to change the attacks an individual creature has, and reluctantly realized that none of mine would really benefit that much from it.

"Literally any of us could trade you one," came the answer from the local board. Half a dozen people friended me, since there's a stardust discount if you exchange gifts for a while. (Now I send and receive even more gifts per day. now I am leveling up even more quickly. I crossed the Lvl 30 threshold, after which you get the same spawns as everyone else but, crucially, after which you also can get max revives, which, extra crucially, do not replace revives in the potential loot pool, and I think this is genuinely what did it for me, that you can accrue them and revives simultaneously from the same random distribution-- this gives you access to twice the number of revives even if you don't change your behavior otherwise. I still believe I have to constantly keep half a dozen guys in gyms though. I was raised Catholic, I'm really good at believing stuff.)

In the middle of this I got a Machoke as a research reward! I was very excited, I'd be able to field my own fighter after all! ... 100 candies to evolve. OR you can trade him and then it's free.

Oh. Oh. Well then!

Raid Night came, and everyone else does it remote (this was back in the halcyon days of late March), but I asked if anyone would be willing to physically come to the neighborhood where the gyms are. You don't have to like, go to someone's house to trade. I figure, I know from their postcards these people hang around in neighborhoods near that strip with all the gyms on it. And sometimes other people would come in person for the raids, so I figured that was the least weird thing to ask. Is anyone gonna come to do one or more of the raids in person? Can we trade then?

Sure enough, one guy was willing to do it, who I'd been exchanging interactions with so we were leveled up okayish, and so I betook myself down to the strip with the gyms. He was running late, this was fine, I ran out and did my two in-person raids for the evening, got snowed on etc. And then I retreated to a bar just off the main drag, as the Raid Train continued on the southerly route.

And Local Guy (who had driven in from about an hour away for this) rolled up outside in his car, and DM'd me to start the trade. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a beer and he said no. He just swapped me a Machoke for a trash mon he planned to transfer, waited for me to evolve it, and then swapped me a Machamp he'd already put a second charged attack onto and leveled up as far as it would go, and then drove off into the night, without my ever having seen him. See You Space Cowboy...

[trades of a creature you don't already have in your pokedex cost more in stardust. trading me a machoke since i already had one was cheap; machokes get free evolution after they're traded, so it cost me 0 candy to evolve him, and then once i had a machamp already in my pokedex, trading another was similarly cheap.]

I beat Giovanni... well, not the next time I saw him, I still had to tweak my approach, but the time after that.

So we'll call that good, anyway.

[guessimate]

We're starting a more exciting round today - round 3, in which we'll find out how the teenagers get along. We're coming with a visit to the Imago family, whom I have chosen because there are twins of both genders in this house, so I thought it would make things more interesting, and also the round would progress faster. I didn't expect it to progress quite this fast, though.

I played the Imago family till the 2 summers ended and spring was about to start. It was quite hot during the second summer on this lot. I had to send them to drink water all the time. I might start giving my sims bath/showers, just so they can cool off more quickly.

When I left this family, the patriarch, Otso Imago, had 3 days left before becoming an elder and normally I'd probably finish the round on his birthday, but something happened that made me change my mind...

~*~

Lovetar got her Creativity to level 9 by playing on her new drums (I decided to get them some instrument), and she maxed out Music&Dance enthusiasm. Unfortunately, she didn't want to maximize the skill, but she probably will at some point. For now she's more interested in romancing...

When I loaded the Imagos' house, Zet Tia was walking by the lot, so... You know Lovetar had to try and talk to this eligible bachelor. His father actually invited himself in as well and started interacting with Zet while he was having a date with Lovetar.

~*~

Unfortunately, Sampsa has negative chemistry with Baset Bruni, who is the only eligible teen lady for now, but... they could at least have a first kiss together, right? Sampsa is also extremely playful but at the same time grouchy, so he hits everyone with balls and he must think that's how he'll find a good marriage prospect (I have the watermelon fruit replacements for football from here, and tomato replacement for water balloons).

Baset naturally wanted her first kiss and she wanted to become best friends with him specifically, so why would I deny her that... Sampsa was actually not that into her before thier first kiss but then he rerolled some wants (you know, Knowledge sims rarely roll romance wants) and even wanted to WooHoo. They didn't end up WooHooing though, because they were exhausted... and it was probably for the best.

Baset actually brought Sampsa a telescope as a date gift. Obviously it's not very much with the times but I just put it in his inventory and replaced it with a more appropriate version. For now I just got him the star chart. BTW if you're interested in some old style telescopes, definitely grab these microscopes that you can actually place on tables.

~*~

So I was thinking about a system of rolling when a teen should get pregnant and flipping coins, but Lovetar just decided to Try for Baby and got pregnant with her boyfriend... I'm really shocked by this turn of events, though maybe I shouldn't be... The baby survives and is going to live its entire life. I guess we're starting generation III. I had to give Lovetar another hairstyle, because the matchmaker hair didn't work with some clothes for some reason during the pregnancy, so I gave her the hairstyle Zet's mom used to have. I moved her in with her new family in the last trimester.

Lovetar gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Lovi during the wedding party. She has her grandmothers' gray eyes. They both survived the birth.

By the way if you're wondering what these awesome mushrooms in the background are, they are a replacement for weeds! They are awesome. Version 2 actually makes you get 10$ when you collect them, which is not a game breaking amount, and at the same time it counts for fortune sims' want of 'earning some money'.