#and the fact that Netflix is going to throw more money at this because we let it run continuously and talked over it and hated it

[melefim]

Hey @netflix honestly how do you expect people to watch your shows and invest their time and money into you when EVERY SINGLE TIME you have something people love you just throw it away?

What’s the fucking point if a show with a 92/90 on Rotten Tomatoes and that’s made MULTIPLE Best Of lists isn’t even given a chance to grow?

Let’s look at some comparisons of a few other recent Netflix shows that got a second (or more) season, shall we? How are they stacking up on RT?

Stranger Things: 91/90

The Sandman: 88/80

Bridgerton: 84/74

Shadow & Bone: 83/84

Wednesday: 73/85

Locke & Key: 68/56

Avatar: The Last Airbender: 61/72

Fate: The Winx Saga: 45/82

So good reviews and critical acclaim won’t do it. Multiple weeks on your top 10 won’t do it, making the Nielsen top 10 won’t do it. Engagement from a devoted fan base won’t do it. I’m curious, what’s the metric here? Just because it wasn’t an instant runaway sensation, it’s not worth it to you? Is that what it takes?

Here’s a hot tip: if you want people to continue to pay for a subscription to your service, maybe give stuff a chance to grow. Maybe invest a bit of time into actually advertising a show before it premiers.

One of the most popular tweets about Dead Boy Detectives when it came out was someone saying they didn’t want to watch it because they didn’t trust you not to cancel it and break their hearts. There were THOUSANDS of people agreeing with it. Thousands of viewers, thousands of accounts you missed out on because people didn’t trust you. So how is this move going to help that?

How are you planning to get people to stick around when one of the best shows on your platform isn’t given a chance? How are you expecting them to ever give your shows a chance when you’re proving again and again that you can’t be trusted to follow through?

Dead Boy Detectives is a great show. It’s a quality product. The cinematography, the lighting, the sound design, the sets, the props, the COSTUMES. The scripts are good, the acting is great, the effects are believable. the cast and crew poured their hearts into it and you can see it on the screen. The characters are relatable and real. This is a show that is rewatchable. A show that is fun. A show that is entertaining. That has a good message, that deals with heavy topics with care and sensitivity. That’s got comedy and drama and horror and mystery. That’s got representation and diversity. That means something to people. Means A LOT to people. But that’s not important to you.

Dead Boy Detectives was THE reason I renewed my account. I watched it multiple times. (See how many magnifying glasses there are after my name up there? Fun fact: I added one every time I watched the full season.) I was even making a list of other shows and movies I was planning to check out. But that’s not happening any more, because I’m canceling my account as soon as this post is up. And I know I’m not the only one.

[disasterarea-podcast]

So given the writer’s strike, some people are concerned about their shows and movies being postponed or canceled, and aside from the fact networks have already BEEN canceling shows for no reason for years (I still maintain a healthy anger about what Netflix did to Sense8), I thought I would suggest some books on disasters you might want to read if you’re into that sort of history. Which you are if you’re here, I imagine.

Note: I’m suggesting these books because most books on disasters don’t get a huge audience, and so I recommend them because this sort of writing can be hard on the writer and requires a bunch of research. We throw so much money at true crime, we can spare a few bucks for the stories of people who died in disasters.

Also, please check with these with your local small bookstore or library. Amazon can be great, but let’s lend a hand to those who need us more.

Recommended books:

“The Circus Fire,” by Stewart O’Nan - This is one my favorite books on a disaster, because the whole thing creates a very vivid image of the circus prior to the fire in Hartford in July of 1944. There’s one specific line in the book which always makes me pause because it’s so affecting, about how everyone who escaped being able to hear the sounds of the animals screaming as they died - except all of the animals were out of the tent by then.

“The Only Plane in the Sky,” by Garrett Graff - This, I highly recommend you get on audiobook. It’s an oral history of the events of 9/11 with a full cast, and it’s incredibly affecting to listen to.

“Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic,” by Jennifer Niven - Ada Blackjack was a badass: flawed and weak at times, but hardy and steady when necessary. Half of her story is how she survived, but half is how she was exploited following her rescue. Both stories need to be known.

“Alive,” by Piers Paul Read - If you’re watching “Yellowjackets,” this should be required reading. If you’ve seen the movie adaptation from the 90s, there is WAY more you don’t know. The story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 is a tough read, but a worthy one.

“A Night to Remember,” by Walter Lord - This is to disaster nonfiction what “In Cold Blood” is to true crime. It’s not a long read, but it’s a great one. Lord had the advantage of writing the book while many of the Titanic survivors were still alive and could give a very good description of what they went through.

“Dying to Cross,” by Jorge Ramos - I recommend this not just because it is good, but because it is timely. Nineteen people died in an un-air-conditioned truck as they were attempting to make their way into the states from over the Mexican border. It’s a horrific story, and one that humanizes an issue for whom some people need to be faced with the humans involved and what they go through.

“Bath Massacre: America’s First School Bombing,” by Arnie Bernstein - Harold Schecter also wrote a very good book on the Bath school massacre called “Maniac,” but I have a preference for this version. It’s a good reminder that schools in the U.S. didn’t just become targets in the last twenty years or so.

“Into Thin Air,” by Jon Krakauer - I feel like this is a gimme, but it’s a fantastic book from someone who was actually on Mount Everest during the 1996 disaster and knew those involved very well. I happen to like Krakauer’s work anyway - I even like “Into the Wild” despite my feelings about McCandless and his legacy - but it’s understandably my favorite.

“And the Band Played On,” by Randy Shilts - The one thing I will say is that Shilts’ treatment of Gaetan Dugas is *rough* to say the least and outright wrong on some points, God knows. But it’s still an amazing book, and if you come out of it not wanting to dig up Reagan and punch him a bunch I’m impressed at your restraint.

“Triangle: The Fire That Changed America,” by David von Drehle - The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire is one of the disasters I am most interested in, and I would argue this is the definitive book on the subject. Also, if this book introduces you to both Clara Lemlich and Frances Perkins … I mean, talk about badass women.

“The Radium Girls,” by Kate Moore - Look, I’ll say this. If you know of the Radium Girls, this is a great book on their story. If you don’t know, go in blind and prepared to be horrified.

“Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine,” by Anne Applebaum - Ukraine has always been a target. During the Holodomor, they were victims of one of the worst genocides in history.

“Midnight in Chernobyl,” by Adam Higginbotham - Like the miniseries? This is a great source for more information for what happened at Chernobyl and all of the ass-covering involved.

"Boston Strong: A City's Triumph Over Tragedy," by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge - If you’re interested in the Boston marathon bombing, I really thought this book did a good job of connecting the stories of the victims, the authorities searching for the killers, and the killers themselves.

“Show Me the Bodies: How We Let Grenfell Tower,” by Peter Apps - As I understand it, Apps did a lot of covering the Grenfell Tower fire for the British press, and it shows. He provides a mountain of information, and you will come out of reading this book absolutely LIVID about what authorities allowed to happen in Grenfell and so many other council estates in the UK.

“Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919,” by Stephen Puleo - I feel as though the molasses flood gets treated like a joke a lot of the time, but y’all, twenty people died. That area of Boston was *wrecked*. The photos of the devastation are terrifying. Puleo treats all of this with the proper respect it deserves.

“In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex,” by Nathaniel Philbrick - Forget the movie. Read the book.

“The Great Influenza,” by John M. Barry - Want to read about the 1918 flu epidemic? Want to be mad that a hundred years later we didn’t learn a damn thing?

Now, that’s just a start. If anyone wants, I can always post photos of my disaster book collection on Kindle and next to my recording desk. Or if there’s a specific disaster you’re interested in, I may know of a good book about it you can read.

But just remember if SAG and the directors’ guild joins the strike too - there is so much out there to occupy your time until they come back. Entertainment work is work, and it deserves to be supported financially and fairly as such. Rock on, WGA. ✊

[commando-rogers]

I know little ol me does not get much traction on this site and I’ve been reblogging PLENTY about the WGA/SAG-AFTRA strikes, but I keep seeing people confused about this online and irl so I just want to say:

As of now, the unions have NOT asked us to stop watching content. You can (and should!) keep watching and streaming your favorite shows and movies.

Now, I’m not a member of either union (though I hope to join SAG in the coming years if I get lucky, and maybe WGA is in my future if I get off my butt and write!) so I am not an authority on this, nor do I have all of the information. I could be mistaken on some of this, so those with more knowledge feel free to correct me! But I do know for a fact that the unions have not asked us to boycott watching shows.

The purpose of these strikes is to stop providing LABOR to the AMPTP (the gross weird mafia-like conglomeration of studios such as Netflix, Warner Bros, the like), not to stop watching.

Part of the issue with the proposed contracts from studios is the fairness of residuals (money paid to a writer/actor when their work is aired on TV, released on DVD, sold to a network, etc.). If already-aired shows and movies continue doing well, these workers keep getting paid (at least a little, they’re not getting paid for their jobs while striking but the studios cannot withhold residuals). (Of course, it’s messier with streaming services, which is another thing being advocated for in these contracts.)

So keep streaming movies and shows! Keep tuning in on TV if any of you still have cable! Go see Barbenheimer or anything you’d like to see at the theater! Support the art! This is a labor strike, not a consumer boycott. Not only might it help with residuals, but it shows the studios that there is still a demand for content. People are still watching their movies and shows, they still want to pay their subscriptions, and the studios are proverbially shooting themselves in the knee by withholding future content. That’s why this strike will work, that’s why WGA and SAG-AFTRA refuse to back down until their demands are met.

ESPECIALLY with shows that are coming out! Good Omens is one of my favorite shows, and season 2 drops on July 28th. Neil Gaiman, the writer, is very active on tumblr if you’d like to go check out his blog, and he’s being incredibly gracious and helpful answering questions about the strike. And he said the BEST thing we can do for the show is WATCH it. Watch in one sitting! Watch it on loop! We need to demonstrate demand, or the studios will cancel shows, which means artists out of work.

Of course, should the unions come out with a statement and ask us to stop watching, do it. However, that is not currently their wish, nor is it a rule of the strike.

(A note: if you’re like me and hoping to become an actor or writer in the future, this is NOT the time to get your big break. Studios are gonna come looking for nonunion talent to keep productions going. They are exploiting us and our desperation. If you scab and perform labor for a struck company during this strike, you WILL be blacklisted from ever joining the union in the future. Aspiring actors, that featured background gig is not worth kissing your hopes of a SAG card goodbye. Same goes for writers. You may see some SAG work continuing, that is being done under special agreements with the union, for SPECIFIC exceptions. Do your research on every casting call. Do not scab, these union members are fighting for OUR futures in this industry! The worst thing you can do is hurt them and throw your future away.)

Check out the WGA’s website and SAG-AFTRA’s website for more info on strike rules, and things you can do to help. If you want to make a financial difference, the best thing you can do is donate to strike funds. Go to this link and under Strike Assistance you’ll see a number of funds that are being used to help pay writers while out of work, AND to help pay the crew members who are also out of work because of the strike! Worker solidarity! Here is a link to emergency funds for SAG-AFTRA members.

If you’re in NYC or LA, stop by the picket lines! Even non-members are welcome to march, and a great way to help is to show up and hand out water bottles, food, anything you’re willing to donate and help make the picketers’ day just a little easier. And here’s a link to the LA chapter of Democratic Socialists of America. They have information on strike funds, as well as a fund specifically to help buy snacks for picketers! It’s summer, and both NYC and LA are miserable to be marching in the sun all day.

The other way the unions say we can help is by speaking up and voicing your support on social media. An anonymous studio exec told Dateline “The endgame is to allow things to drag on until union members start losing their apartments and losing their houses.” They said the quiet part out loud. You can look up the salaries of these studio execs. It’s tens and hundreds of millions. Then go look up what each union is asking for in their contracts. It’s a drop in the studios’ bucket, but they’re refusing to budge, and they’re showing their complete lack of humanity.

tl;dr: you can and should keep watching shows and movies during the strikes, unless we are told otherwise by the unions. There are other great ways to help! These unions are a huge driving force of American economy, and hopefully these strikes will help garner support for a larger labor movement for all workers to get fair pay.

Thanks for tuning in to my accidentally very lengthy post. But I hope this helps clear up confusion. Share this info with your friends, and voice your support loudly! And for the love of god DO NOT CROSS PICKET LINES!

[apatheticlexicographer]

psychoanalyzing the stranger things marketing team for fun and profit: “the heart”

(brainrot set in thanks to this post go read it it’s straight facts)

i think i know the strat the marketing team are using here.

in all the merch related to will’s painting and his corresponding speech they’re trying to frame it in a seemingly very platonic way. by having erica there in the new postcard design they’re basically just making it an “oh look these are the characters who play D&D, how fun” type thing. that holds up okay unless you actually watch the goddamn show, even as a GA member, because will’s painting is undeniably romance coded for TWO canon pairings (an “unrequited” pairing is still canon). with that in mind, the forcefully platonic approach in the marketing is so blatantly full of shit it’s kind of funny.

that being said, the people in charge of marketing have a pretty good reason for it, or at least a logical one. they can’t market the painting as a m’leven thing, even if that might be more profitable in the short term (i don’t even know if that’s true these days tbh), because anybody who’s seen the show knows that the entire m’leven approach to it is a straight up lie on will’s part. not even a lie to the audience, either, because we’re fully in the loop with it. it’s only mike and, by extension through his answering monologue, el who believe it. they can’t sell m’leven merchandise that centers around an unresolved lie, that just... doesn’t work. they also doubly can’t market it as a m’leven thing because after s5 people are gonna be pissed if they discover they were being conned into spending their money on merchandise for the opposite ship in the love triangle.

on the other hand, they cant market it as (romantically) byler-centric yet, because that blows the lid way too soon. considering how conservative of an approach (conservative as in moderation not as in boomer politicians) they took to directly indicating byler canon, they don’t want it being confirmed til s5. they dedicated a lot in s4 to m’leven being bones and obscuring mike’s true feelings about either of his love interests, but very little to explicit byler canon indicators (i’m not talking about deep subtext, i’m talking about the implications a GA member can pick up on after one viewing). since it’s clearly a close kept secret that they want to build up to revealing, they aren’t about to show their hand over merch of all things. this is probably both for the shock impact of the reveal and how “groundbreaking” it would be or whatever (which it would) and also to retain the maximum viewer base in the build up to the finale. regardless of how GA opinions are shifting away from m’leven, disliking mike and el doesn’t equate to liking mike and will, and though the show isn’t made for conservatives at allll (now i do mean it in the boomer politician sense lol) there are inevitably a lot of people in the audience who would throw a major tantrum and boycott s5. the duffers’ statement that they’re not going to let what the audience wants influence where they take the story is a major green flag for byler in this respect, but netflix can’t have viewer counts dipping for the finale of their flagship show.

by marketing the painting ambiguously platonically they get to keep the m’levens and homophobes placated because it doesn’t pose any direct threat to them, and keep the bylers and LGBTQ audience engaged because we see through their shit and take it as the byler dub it is.

[throne-anguis]

Basic answer but I feel like the Sacred Guard is just the Police. Unfortunate that there is corruption there but as Temenos would say: “Oh of course there’s corruption there”. Good news is that the gang gets to dunk on the police.

On the topic of Partitio, feel like he would be the guy who almost says they’re Phantom Thieves a couple of times. That’s probably how Ori found out who the Phantom Thieves are. Partitio said it too loud and Ori’s job just got a lot easier.

Ori is probably the person to try and influence the Thieves to go a certain direction the Moonshade Order wants to go. Hound to her brother’s Eagle.

There’s probably just a running gag on people coming into Temenos and Crick’s apartment and asking them why there’s a handcuffed guy sitting on their couch. That in itself is confusing and then Temenos is just deflects everything which makes things more confusing.

There’s obviously angst but there’s some sort of dark hilarity in the fact that Hikari likely had to proceed with the Confidant in that manner for almost the entire journey. Your former best friend used you and now is handcuffed and is in your other friend’s apartment. Unfortunate you still need to talk to him and try to figure out what the hell the Moonshade Order is trying to use you to summon. This is while Kazan sometimes goes off-topic and confusedly asks you if Temenos and Crick are dating or not. You don’t have that answer unfortunately.

That makes sense with the sacred guard. And of course, the sacred guard having a law enforcement role leads to inevitable corruption. Just like in OT luckily Temenos has Crick to protect him.

Partitio can NOT keep his mouth shut about it and will yell about it drunk. Definitely the gangs equivalent to Ryuji here.

Absolutely, Ori would definitely do what happened with Okumura and the poll. "Partitio! I've got a scoop a TON of news on this company being corrupted," giving them insight to play right into their hands. At her job her journalist stories would definitely portray the gang in a positive light, so Partitio opens up to her more, on accident or purpose or maybe just while he's drunk. Ori definitely finds out either way, we know she's great at stalking.

I love that as a running gag. While he's under arrest Kazan just throws the rest of his money at Crick and tells him to buy a Netflix subscription and some drinks. Nobody can tell me this guy doesn't watch anything and everything.

Oh I can imagine. After Hikari has composed himself he just walks in on whatever is happening with Kazan here. Temenos is probably desperate to get this dude out of his house and Crick is just confused because Kazan seems like a chill guy after watching 4 seasons straight of any random sitcom with him (Crick is oblivious). Hikari really doesn't know what to make of the situation after that. Until Osvald comes in ready to beat some information out of the guy.

[headspacedad]

I posted 15,807 times in 2022

That's 4,568 more posts than 2021!

182 posts created (1%)

15,625 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@damatris

@void-tiger

@edjectedly

@i-am-thornqueen

@ascendentashes

I tagged 3,740 of my posts in 2022

#sound on - 560 posts

#fic rec - 171 posts

#passing this along - 143 posts

#thanks for the tag! - 73 posts

#yes - 69 posts

#i don't go here - 48 posts

#okay to reblog - 42 posts

#beautiful - 42 posts

#but - 40 posts

#awww - 38 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i thought today was friday right up until my sister asked about getting together tomorrow and i realized that meant it was sunday

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

86 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#4

it is best boi’s birth-month and yet I haven’t seen anything about it really.  Which is Just Not Right.  I haven’t got the time or energy to organize and push the much deserved ‘week of fic/art prompts celebrating him’ that I usually see circulating this time of year but if you can, reblog this to get the ball rolling and decide to write or draw something for his birthday this year.  I’ll be dropping two short fics for him, one on the 28th and one on the 1st.  Let’s show this guy some love this month!

96 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

#3

okay, temporary real talk here

as much as I enjoy the ‘drive everyone that might come visit away’ tumblr shit posts and the way no one wants to be a popular site or a profitable one

look, the overlords have to make money on this site.  Because if they don’t we go the way of LiveJournal and get bought out by a Russian conglomeration that’s going to turn us all into a site we’re not built to be (or something similar).  Nothing exists in a vaccuum and it takes MONEY to run this site.  Someone’s got to pay for the servers and buy the swivel chairs staff spends all their time twirling around in instead of fixing what’s broken.  Even the money that pays the one lonely underpaid intern that’s obviously trying so hard to connect with the userbase in the new tumblr posts has to come from somewhere.  Things don’t run for free and, eventually, if we’d stayed unprofitable, someone would have pulled the plug.  And all of this, the years of it and the networks we’ve made on it, would have disappeared in the blink of an eye.  Ask Yahoo!Groups.

tumblr needs to turn a profit.  The trick is, we need to make sure it turns profits in ways that suit the site and us.  There was a post a while back about tumblr reaching out to the ‘Big Names’ to lure them in and that’s fine - but they need to play by tumblr rules.  Disney can’t come in and start slapping down all the Disney fan art and fanfic like Anne Rice in her glory days.  It would kill what makes this site so unique (and so profitable).  We’re on this site and not any other for a reason.  This site is unique for a reason.  We need to lean hard into those reasons and keep them safe.  Our artists, our writers, our fan bases, our gif makers, our dreamers, content creators, scientists, current event followers, specialized fact spouters, our irreverent shit posters and the thousands of other niches that make this site tick. 

And as for all the refugees from other sites that find us and want to check things out - good!  Let them come. We’ve got blankets and hot drinks like the Carpathia for them.  tumblr can offer them what they can’t find anywhere else (quite possibly things they may wish they didn’t find too sometimes).  Its our strength - and its our selling point.  Staff needs to make money.  Let’s support the attempts at it that are true to this site’s nature and will keep us unique.  No one’s more cantankerous than we are.  Let’s be smart about which horses we let in our hospital (and how we decorate it.  I recommend following color theory).

119 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

#2

the Sea Beast (no spoilers)

Okay, so thank you Netflix for diversity and being willing to throw money at all kinds of strange ideas to see them made.  Kudos for you and that’s why you get my money and Disney+ doesn’t.

So Sea Beast.

I’m going to start off by saying I really enjoyed it.  The world building is super amazing and the design of both the world, the ships and the people is SO far above what I’m used to seeing from CG animation.  These designers went to TOWN on creating their human characters!  There’s amazing diversity in almost every angle of the ship’s crew and you can just tell that every single character on the ship has a whole ass story going on with them that we’re not being told.  There’s a real attention to detail with how people that hunt sea monsters would dress, what their prosthetics would look like, what kinds of varied body builds they’d have.  The first mate alone - phenomenal!   And it caries over into their interactions as well.  There are different personalities all working with the other personalities to keep the ship going and the crew really cares about each other - there’s a scene toward the end where two of them bolt for the Jacob to save him and its automatic and small and beautiful.  Good stuff and you really feel like they’re a family.

Second - oh my WORD!  Someone REALLY did their research and put some thought into how hunting sea monsters would go.  I spent a lot of my summers on Nantucket Island which, once upon a time, had been the whaling capital for the world and there was so much in this movie that just rang true on small detail levels for me.  Hell, they even put in a version of a Nantucket sleigh ride!  But they mixed it up too, because these aren’t whales, they’re city sized monsters of the deep and hunting them would be entirely different in some ways.  The mesh of ‘old’ and ‘new’ ideas for this really was probably my favorite part of the world building.  Just so top notch, someone really put some THOUGHT into this.  Also the touch with the sea gulls was awesome!

See the full post

156 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey new tumblr users

Welcome!

Now, I’m seeing a lot of posts about new arrivals to the site that are confused about the purpose and point of reblogging posts.  I know that a lot of the sites you came from put a lot of emphasis on earning ‘points’ for your original posts and the only way to earn your own ‘points’ is to interact with others posts.  Don’t get me wrong - we love it here when you add a comment, either to a post or in the tags, but that’s not the POINT of posts here (for the most part).  The goal of a post here is to share.

You’ve got to think of tumblr less as a classroom where one person is teaching and more as a nature hike with friends.

You see a shiny rock you like.  You pick it up.  You show it to a friend.  They like it and show it to their friend.  Their friend puts a pair of googly eyes on it and passes it to their friend.  Their friend runs off to share it with a group of their friends that are looking at bugs under a rock.  You don’t HAVE to interact.  All you have to do is share the rock with a friend because you know your friends might like to see the rock.  Someone passes you a dandelion they picked.  You think its cool and pass it to a friend you know likes the color yellow.  They hand you a yellow leaf.  You pass the leaf back to the dandelion friend. 

The point of having a blog on tumblr is to share stuff that you think is cool with people that follow you.  People will follow you because they think the stuff you’re scrapbooking on your blog is cool (or fun or weird or funny or heartfelt, etc).  You can absolutely paint your own rock and share it with friends.  But if all you do is pass on someone else’s painted rock because you think the people following your blog will like seeing it?  That’s awesome too.

We’re not really about earning ‘points’ or ‘fame’ here - this is your scenic rest stop on the highway.  We ARE about sharing.

So - share.

And if you want to add to what you’re sharing - that’s cool.  But you don’t need to.  As long as you’re sharing with your followers, you’re using this site the way its designed to be used.

See a cool rock?  Reblog that rock so your followers can enjoy it too!

See the full post

2,466 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[skippyv20]

Australian Article re; Spare nterview

Prince Harry’s ‘idiotic’ tactic for reconciling with his family falls completely flat​

https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/prince-harrys-idiotic-tactic-for-reconciling-with-his-family-falls-completely-flat/news-story/24fba855f1063fe95086cce87e3f37b8

Revolutionary Russians were hardly big fans of the monarchy – just ask the Romanovs – but ironically, when it comes to the state of the royal world at the start of 2023, no one put it better than Lenin who said: “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”

We are currently in one of those weeks, thanks to 

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex

 who has not one, but two, huge TV interviews as well as the publication of 

his autobiography 

Spare

 set to land in the coming days.

All of this is, of course, after he and wife 

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex

 unleashed their hitherto biggest offensive yet against the royal family – 

their interminable Netflix whinge-a-thon

, six hours of finger pointing and the sort of anti-establishment grenade-throwing that would have cheered up the Bolsheviks no end.

But there will be no rest for our poor, tired eyeballs because Harry is back at it, again, carping on about his family with all the self-pitying of a teenager who has been forcibly parted from his Xbox.

The 

first trailer for Harry’s interview with the UK’s Tom Bradby has been released

, with him saying he wants a family “reconciliation”.

“I would like to get my father back,” he said. “I would like to have my brother back.”

It’s hard to find the right words here to truly quantify how stupefying, how ridiculous, how downright idiotic the Duke’s logic is here. Harry wants his family “back” and the way he is going about that is by pillorying them afresh to a global TV audience? By giving an interview to US 

60 Minutes

 that was being promoted on Tuesday as “explosive”?

Does anyone imagine that in their Birkhall drawing room, all Jack Russell fur-covered sofas and discreetly tucked away ashtrays (probably), 

King Charles

 and Queen Camilla will sit down to watch Harry – again – cast the royal family as a perfidious bunch of leakers, only for His Majesty to tearfully, full of regret, want to reach for his phone to issue a public apology to his son?

Or that 

William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales

, will, watching the Harry confessionals on their iPads in bed, suddenly turn to one another and decide they were in the wrong all along? Somehow I doubt a Peter Jones gift hamper with a heartfelt mea culpa and far too much gluten will be winging its way to Montecito anytime soon.

If Harry and Meghan really wanted nothing more than a true royal rapprochement, a true healing of hurts and mending of fences with the House of Windsor, is there a single, solitary soul on the planet who thinks that the best way to achieve that is via hours and hours of the Sussexes bad-mouthing the royal family?

Which brings us to one indisputable fact in this hub-bubbling mess: 

Harry has a book to move

.

In a week, the Duke will release his memoir, a book that so far promises to be the least fun beach read since the 9/11 commission report came out.

Penguin Random House, for the privilege of publishing the princely pariah’s tell-all, reportedly forked over $29 million for a four-book arrangement with the Sussexes. (The other three? According to the 

Sunday Times

, we have a “wellness-focused” title from Meghan, “a book about leadership and philanthropy” and a possible memoir from the Duchess to look forward to. Oh goody.)

Harry, or Aitch as we recently learned ‘Meg’ calls him, has millions of copies of a book to shift in the same way that the Sussexes, in return for their reported $140 million deal with Netflix, had to deliver stonkingly good viewing figures for the streamer.

No amount of morally superior window dressing about wanting his father “back” can obscure that money, to some degree, is now an animating force for the Sussexes.

(Harry has also committed to donating $2.2 million of proceeds from the book to his charity Sentebale and $530,000 the UK’s WellChild of which he is patron.)

When the couple put out their Instagram post that was heard around the world nearly three years ago exactly (January 8, 2020 if you want to observe the solemn day) they said they wanted to become “financially independent”.

Since then it has become apparent that their version of independence seemed to still involve Charles ponying up millions and British taxpayers happily footing the bill for bodyguards to follow the Sussexes around North American organic shops in pursuit of activated almonds.

As Harry told Oprah in 2021: “My family literally 

cut me off financially

.” (I know, there aren’t violins small enough …)

Which left the couple needing money – and a heck of a lot of it – which they have proceeded to earn by inking highly profitable deals – deals that so far have largely involved them airing a commercial laundry’s worth of dirty royal linen. (Even Meghan’s 

Archetypes

 podcast, yet to be renewed for a second season, was peppered with the occasional revelation.)

This picture gets even more complicated when you consider that a “source with knowledge” of Harry’s memoir has told 

The Sunday Times

: “I think the book [will be] worse for them than the royal family is expecting. Everything is laid bare. Charles comes out of it better than I had expected, but it’s tough on William, in particular, and even Kate gets a bit of a broadside. There are these minute details, and a description of the fight between the brothers. I personally can’t see how Harry and William will be able to reconcile after this.”

And yet, Harry wants his father and brother “back”. How exactly does he see this happening?

The ‘logic’ in all of this requires such mental contortions I think I need a lie down.

The truly unsettling thing in all of this? The week has not even really begun, with hours of interviews to be watched (or, endured) and hundreds of pages of 

Spare

 to be ploughed through yet. What will Harry’s relationship with his family look like on the other side of this?

I think the only thing we can confidently say that will be going “back” anytime soon is that Peter Jones gift basket for a refund

Thank you❤️

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Are you saw this post on TikTok?, Closing in the skins and how bad, thank you Jen Alpha and Genie, because we didn’t have juicy couture tracksuit we, we didn’t have all we closed celebrity, I mean you could look at Amy Winehouse that’s why I’ve added her and Blake in this picture because this is actually how people dressed in the 2000 who won rich and famous don’t get me wrong of course you could spend that extra bit of money, I said on my post on TikTok I said in my 20s I was shopping and charity shop, teams I was shopping in new H&M early 20s  also it wasn’t until about my mid 20s always like charity shops for a little girl because my mum texted me to tell them even to the ones in wimble, which was around where it was born and brought up from the just for, shipped to the Isle of shite, charity shop,, when you get things from the charity shop, they’re obviously from clothes shops originally, when you are sizes of a size 6 to size 14 UK, then you’re gonna find nice clothes in a charity shop. I don’t know about now because I’m not that size anymore. I ranged a size 10 to 12 and also, now I’ve got bigger I don’t care about logos dress label sizes in fact it’s more about, but yeah, these are sort of outfits out, especially in the 2010 and the outfits were pretty, it was a mismatch of patterns, mixed altogether, digital floral 🤢 sign throwing up, because it just let it go awful as it outfit where many in skins is right and I think it’s about 2010 when the series came out which was probably the worst year for fashion, when I was shopping a charity shop I seem to have black hair a black dress and my mini denim skirt with a pair of leggings off, but these outfits they were disgusting, people of the generations below us need to realise that this is how we were dressing especially that picture of Gil that dress she wears with the jumper underneath for long sleeve T-shirt is something I’d never wear the dress yeah I had a dress similar to that, but not with that underneath, wardrobe well done, a lot of TV programs don’t try and compare it to a TV show like euphoria where teens are doing Coke in high school, Molly how are you affording your parents paying for it?, EMA It is what we had back in the day. Educational maintenance allowance., which used to be £50 and then went down to 30, so you would get paid 30 quid to go into HDB which is like a training course, college a week it was a motivational thing.

These were some of the best years of my life that’s why I still write about them all the time we clothes all of it, I saw this place. I was very shocked. but this is just a glimpse of some of the worst outfits you don’t, show any EffyStoneham outfits in any of these these are, the best outfits I’ve seen Nancy top all the jewellery that was the best of the 2010s, all the late 2000s, thank you for reading if you were a millennial and you relate to this at all please re-blog or repost or comment 

, Finals thought this is, Amy and Blake because they are wearing pretty much things are accessible for celebrities to wear background and for people like me and you m and if you watch the film black to back, I did a review on today, so watched on Netflix the other night he will see the fashion of the early 2000s even Amy the colourful hoop earring the plastic earrings that were, and the skirts that were like layered but short, also  the shorts in these pictures were very common as well. Popular.

[iquirms]

Sky Broadband and Why I Hate It

now i'm pretty sure that Sky Broadband is only available in the UK and Ireland BUT I got bitchen ass complain about them and I'm gonna write it here. For one, WHY on earth is my sky box and my sky box family (i've got like three) cutting all wifi signals between the hours of 2:45am and 5:45am??? Why is that? I don't care about ECO mode? I care if i can finish my youtube video while I write! And it's a real thing that happens! Me and my sister thought we were going CRAZY because it would just cut at 2:47 specifically, it became like an urban legend in our house.

Friend: Hey, why is the tv buffing so much during our movie?

Me: what time is it?

Friend: um, it's 2:50???

Me: yeah, we're gonna have to, like, cast our movie to the screen from my laptop. Sorry. Do you remember what time stamp we were on?

Friend: ??? what?

It was so weird. And I hate it. And I know it can probably be turned off, I know that. But keep in mind this thing has been haunting my house for weeks and none of us thought to google it; imagine the frustration, the anger, the boiling sadness that i could not finish my youtube video essays or my binge of Desperate Housewives on Disney+.

Another beef I've got with Sky Broadband is the recording/ watching tv shows not on cable. You can search up a tv show and, if it's offered on sky network, then you can watch every single season they've casted in a row. And I started to watch "The Flash" on Sky - I watched it every day after I came home from school, I was tired and eating my sad little mircowaved dinner because my school ends late and I have to take a bus home. So, imagine my surprise, half way through season three, I'm invested in Barry's life despite knowing that this show is about as accurate as the Harley Quinn show, when I see IT'S GONE. IT'S NOT THERE ANYMORE. THEY GOT RID OF IT. This is more of a personal beef than anything but because of that, I felt a deep hatred towards Sky Broadband.

And my third reason for Hating Sky Broadband, is the fact that they are ROBBING my parents! They raised the prices for their months so quickly and they got so high. Now, I don't want to throw around prices online but when my parents first got a sky box, around 2000 I'm pretty sure, the price was (without installment and for one box) it was around 20 euro a month. Not bad. Then the economy crashed in 2008 and prices rised. Sure, whatever, everyones poor now lets do that. But now? Now, in 2024, (without installment but for a family) they are charging my parents OVER 50 EURO A MONTH! That, to me, is a little too much money. I don't care if you give me Netflix and Youtube and fucking Apple Watch or whatever, on my dodgy box that I pay fifteen euro for five years, I can pirate literally anything and if I pay the five euro fee per month for amazon prime i can get a fire stick which will give me all that anyway. It's too much for a world that basically doesn't watch tv anymore. (That's a whole other can of worms that really bothers me as well actually because everyone complains that people these days get their news from TikTok or Youtube but those are the only places that give the full truth). On top of payment for things like Netflix and Amazon Prime and Disney+ (because thats a capitalism nightmare), and the rest of their bills that could be as high as 2000 a month, they have to drop 50+ eurors for something that'll stop working wheneve rit wants and actually has a lot of problems? AND you have to pay more for sports and kids tv and movies? Sure.

SCAM!!!!!

Those are my three reasons, this got a bit political and perchance controversial towards the end but it's my truth. Sky Broadband lowkey sucks and I need the people to know it. During a recession (because thats what we're in) and MULTIPLE wars happening worldwide, this seems very small and insignificant but it's a real bother as well in Ireland and the UK I think. (Not to mention the whole RTE debacle that went down in Ireland not too long ago)

[roseonthewindow]

oh so its still a little hornets nest, well lets just leave this here for you to mull over.

So I should probably explain this as it goes into backstage stuff that happened with Ever After High and Monster High as well as their Creator and the License contract as well as predatory practices of Hollywood. Recently in the every after high community there is a little blowback and forth about two characters possibly being Bisexual, if this was genuine there would be no issue however there is a sever lack of sincerity to the statement BECASE it is coming from someone with a invested interest in the show being "rebooted." This is bad because it goes into Investors having too much influence because they can throw their money around and is paired with the warning "The Whales are not your friends." Again if this was a genuine thing there would be no issue but the fact is as follows.

1.) Big pocket investors with DEI demands form Netflix pressured the original creator to leave Monster High and Ever After High under shady circumstances. There is a supposed active NDA preventing much information that can be questioned regarding this along with a non compete preventing the creator form making deals with other studios. As a result a Crossover featuring the character Astronova was canceled after being green lit. This in result tanked the value of the franchise some and is why some of the people involved with the "Ever After High and Monster High takeover" are now fussing on X about the killing of Noncompete in the US.

2.) A polar rumor says this was to prevent the franchises form being more successful than Barbie, a different one says it was related to false allegations that were spread at the time. The allegations in question were snuffed out due to the creator being a hermit and not sharing work and off work affairs so no one knew much about their life outside the studio. The most likely one is the old fashion big corpo wanted to Steal it. With the former having evidence in droves that Mattel wanted to stop it from being more poplar than their Flagship doll IP "Barbie." With their dirty fingers' in it Mattel could make sure the IP never outshined Barbie. (Yes this at the time was a conflict of interest as Barbie waning polarity and the corporation wanting fresh dolls to reinvigorate the market just letting this guy cook could have given them a New Flagship doll) You ready to get ticked off yet; The biggest reason the series was canceled was Netflicx and Mattel were pressuring DEI checklist that was exceptionally unreasonable on the creator. The Creator refused because it would ruin the Franchise and its message that was not rooted in Superficial traits (reference the entire Hood family form Ever After High or "Monster High: Ghouls Rule!" movie plot)

See the creator was against basing peoples Value on superficial traits and put that heavily into the lesion on the cartoon. Form the main plot of ever After High to even the light subplot of Monster High. Since thesis directly questioned the motives at the time of big investors like Blackrock and Vanguard who were Willing drop HUGE sums of money on anything that pushed a political message that contradicted the whole belief of the creator. The license holders ABUSED loopholes in the contract to push the creator out of their own IP and than went to a NDA and noncompete to silence and stop the creator form going elsewhere.

Given noncompete are now going out we may actually see a series on somewhere like tubi by Garrett Sander who hopefully by now managed to get out form the predatory Mattel contracts so he could have full creative freedoms and not just in making dolls and toys but his cartoons as well. He did a good job with Ever After High and Monster High thou the newer versos of the later are pure garbage in comparison.

[magratpudifoot]

We watched The Devil in Ohio in its entirety yesterday because that's the kind of thing we have time for these days, and I think I completely broke my Netflix profile by telling it we didn't like it. I never, ever give streaming services more data than they are already mining just from tracking the things I'm watching, so it's a testament to how much we didn't like it that I actually clicked the thumbs down.

We were watching it as a kind of endearingly over-earnest bit of nonsense with some vaguely interesting stuff going on, and we were having a decent time (though neither of us were engaged with it enough that we didn't get up and do chores without pausing it). But then the ending...

Literally the only way the ending doesn't send me into apoplectic rage is if we're meant to understand that the protagonists' nuclear family is also a cult with the father as leader, and I AM HERE FOR THAT INTERPRETATION (let me show you my vast array of non-fiction about cults and the many forms they take), but that feels like an oppositional reading that is too smart for the piece.

It's possible I could have been persuaded to give it that much credit, but nope, not after reading more. In googling to try to get to the bottom of how someone gets to act as both executive producer and writer on the adaptation of their first novel*, I came across an article claiming that the novel/series was "based on true events'', citing the author's hearing second hand about the experiences of an anonymous source** and "research" that included Gone Girl, that noted non-fiction account of a cult survivor.

Presumably "based on true events" here means that cults exist and sometimes people leave them.

Of course, the fact that the big bad in the story was specifically a satanic cult*** had pretty well convinced me that the writer of this thing had never heard of Steve Hassan, Rick Ross, or Janja Lalich...which would be more forgivable if the main character weren't a trauma psychologist who presumably would at least do a quick look round to see if there is any scholarship on how to help people who have escaped from cults.

JEEBUS.

*A first novel which I, as someone who goes directly to the horror section in bookstores and occasionally attends a sf/fantasy/horror literary conference, had never heard of. WHERE DID THIS COME FROM, AND WHO DOES THE WRITER KNOW??

** Obviously obviously obviously this is EXACTLY the sort of story that would be sourced anonymously. I am not doubting the existence of people who escape horrific abuse and don't want their business publicized to the world. But before we go making "true story" claims, I'm going to need some more substantial evidence of corroborating research than a couple pieces of fiction, a recovered memory testimonial, and one legitimate documentary about a not-even-remotely-related cult. (Holy Hell is an incredible doc if you have the stomach for it [trigger warning for sexual abuse if you do look for it], but N O T H I N G about it has to do with Devil in Ohio, to the point where I honestly think the writer may have just claimed she watched it because it sounds like it should be about Christian theology in some way.)

*** Heads up for those who don't spend 90% of their free time reading about cults, satanic cults are...pretty fucking rare, compared to Christian cults and capitalist cults and white nationalist cults and extraterrestrial cults and cults that spring up around random people with malignant narcissism. But what isn't rare is people weaponizing the specter of satanic cults against marginalized people, so this is a particularly fucked up time to have the (rural isolationist terrorist) cult be ~~spooky satanists~~. Hat tip I guess for at least having them use some of the trappings of Christian religiosity?

Also, HEY, remember that time they tried to do a Heathers series where all the awful popular characters were people of marginalized identities, and the kids they were picking on were white? There's a whiff or two of that going on here, too, for all its attempts to be Inclusive(TM).

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Hi bestie, it seems like every streaming platform has like at least 2 biopic about not that old, events/people. For FOM, Gotham isn't the whole world but I can imagine someone doing one or two on Bruce Wayne just based on this lonely childhood plus money. I have an idea of how Jason would react to the bio and watching it with the reader, like if it went all the way to "current" events which is that he also had a daughter! But I was hoping you can do a short lil write up?

OK. This is such a unique question and I love it. Thank you for asking this!

Father of Mine – Masterlist

There is definitely a few documentaries that have been made about Bruce Wayne or the Wayne family in general. I wouldn't say there are any biopics of them because that would involve Bruce / the estate handing over life-rights for a movie to be made. And Bruce would never allow that.

I have always thought of the Wayne family being viewed by the world in the same way we view the Kennedys. Like, there will always be mystery there and they will never deny nor confirm lifelong rumors. But that's how Bruce frames his family, as well – rarely doing interviews, not giving a lot to the press, keeping out of trouble. But as soon as Bruce gets kids, he becomes even more of a showman because he doesn't want any of the fame to bother the boys. Despite them joining him in his vigilante life, he wants them to as normal of a childhood as possible.

So when the family hears that Netflix is making a docuseries about the Wayne family... everyone reacts kind of differently:

Bruce is stressed out. He doesn't like the idea of anyone snooping around about his family, especially with all the kids. They can dig up whatever bullshit about his parents or anyone in the family tree...but for the boys and Y/N, he doesn't want the attention on them. He actually gets his team of lawyers to send a cease and desist letter, and makes it very clear to Netflix that if they go through with the series, he will take aggressive legal action. But that doesn't stop them.

Dick thinks it's kind of funny, but hides his worry pretty well. When he was a kid, he kind of thought the fame that came with being Bruce Wayne's foster kid was pretty funny and entertaining. Bruce worried about it bothering Dick more than it actually bothered Dick.

Jason doesn't give a shit what people say about him. He's used to hearing all the ridiculous conspiracy theories about what happened to him as a kid and how the hell he "came back from the dead." But for Y/N? He's irritated as soon as the family gets wind of it. He actually starts following some of the journalists and filmmakers that are working on the series during his Red Hood patrols. He throws them off leads and plants false information, all to make their lives hell and to assure they get even more facts wrong.

Tim couldn't care less. He has more important things to worry about. And he's the last to find out. Of all the things he has to worry about, a docuseries being made about his family is the least of his concerns.

Damian just rolls his eyes and immediately starts throwing insults. "Those idiots won't get anything right. It's not like they'll say anything true." He doesn't think any drama will last from it.

For the sake of her family, Y/N acts unbothered by it. But she is stressed. She remembers what happened when Bruce revealed to the press that she was his daughter: paparazzi squatting outside her apartment and following her, articles written about how she hadn't earned her career.

When the series finally comes out, only Bruce and Jason watch it.

Bruce wants to be aware of what they're saying so he can better protect everyone from it and be prepared.

But Jason wants to know exactly what bullshit they say about Y/N.

And by some miracle, the series is actually very kind to her and doesn't really say anything harmful. They actually go out of their way to defend Y/N's naivety about her parentage and that Bruce being her father had nothing to do with the success of her career. Somehow they also found out that Y/N was angry when she first discovered the secret and that she pushed Bruce away for a long time. Obviously, the filmmakers couldn't figure out the catalyst for Y/N finally accepting Bruce.

Jason is relieved, but also knows that even with the positive take, there will still be a surge of unwanted attention. And it only makes Y/N more famous. He makes sure she doesn't watch it, but assures Y/N that it doesn't say anything bad about her.

Bruce's team of lawyers destroy Netflix and sue them for millions. It sends a message and the media becomes absolutely terrified of the Wayne family, scared if they say anything about any of them that they'll be sued next.

[black-rose-writings]

“Would it be better if I used a sword?”

I’m starting to realize, just how important this line is:

Would you rather I used a sword? (Shadow and Bone Netflix series)

If I had cut him down with a sword would that make it any better? (Shadow and Bone book)

This is basically the defining question for the Grisha trilogy, when it come to the Darkling.

In both versions, Alina responds with “I don’t know.” but eventually, she comed to an answer and that answer is “Yes”.

Because a sword is familiar. She understands it. The Grisha are “the others” in her mind, their powers are strange and foreign and she doesn’t understand them (nor does she ever really try to).

She chooses what she knows over uncertain “new” thing. Almost everything Aleksander does has a very clear non-magical equivalent that could have been done, but because he uses his powers to do it, it makes it more horrifying to both Alina and the reader.

Expanding the Fold is basically a fantasy nuke. The other choice would have been an armed invasion, which would cost the lives of countless people on Aleksander’s side. If the goal is the destruction of Novokribirsk, then expanding the Fold will actually cause the least deaths. Would it be better, if he had used traditional methods to destroy the city?

What he does to Genya is, in its effect, equivalent to a really bad flogging (something which would be used as a punishment for insubordination in the army in this time period). Would it be better, if her scars had been caused by a whip?

Having Sergei torn into pieces is the equivalent to a quartering, which would in this time period be one of the ways for executing traitors (which Sergei effectively was). Would it be better if it was horses sent in different directions that tore Sergei into pieces and not fantasy monsters?

Would it be better if Os Alta was besieged and taken over by soldiers?

Would it be better if Aleksander stabbed or shot Alina instead of sending a Niechevoy’a at her in chapter 1 of S&S?

Would it be better if Aleksander threatened to have Mal hanged for desertion instead of throwing him to the Volcra?

Because once you take the fantasy out of many of these actions, you realize that he’s not that much  worse than any other military leader in this time period IRL (and presumably within the Grishaverse as well).

Oh, and the tyrant line in book 1 had me in stitches because all of the leaders we know of in the books are tyrants. You have the Ravkan, Fjerdan and Shu kings/queens (absolutist monarchs) and Kerch has a pretty tyranical oligarchy situation going on.

Nikolai is a tyrant, as was his step-father and the whole Lantsov line. He’s the king of an absolutist monarchy. The Darkling wouldn’t be any different - in fact, he would probably be better at it, given his literal centuries of experience with leadership, diplomacy etc. and he’s not afraid to look like a monster for the sake of the greater good.

The Darkling is ruthless and looks past the immediate human cost of things incredibly easily, but given Ravka’s situation in the books - being on the verge of collapse, two-front war bleeding them dry of money and resources and decimating their young people.

Like, if the Darkling won in Shadow and Bone or even at the end of TGT, Ravka would be in a better place than it is in SoC (and further).

I’m sorry, but if the victory of your supposed villain would cause a better future than the victory of the so-called heroes... are you sure he’s the villain?

[studiojeon]

bitterness in goodbye | jjk

this is part of my troubled outsiders series. sadly, you can't read this as a stand alone (meaning: feel free to check the previous parts ♡)

| summary | - You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

warnings: none (?) i mean chaeryeong insults jungkook which is an atrocity in itself but-

contents: we diving into the angst my friends. jungkook is an innocent, kind hearted soul, i promise. oc's got the feels (out oct. 1) for jk. idol!jungkook × student!reader.

author's note: I EDITTED THIS FROM MY PHONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS? also, thank u for the amount of support i've been receiving lately, i appreciate everyone lots. feel free to ask away or suggest anything btw, i would love to write for any prompts you guys come up with. 💞💗💖💘💓💕

words: 1.57k

playlist: honey by halsey

Four weeks later, the receptionist of your apartment complex hands you over a cardboard box with the hoodie Jungkook and you had talked about that day on the Han River. Jungkook kept pestering you to please please please send him your address for confidential purposes, which you knew had to do with his determination to literally provide anything that catches your eye right away. You assumed it was a sensitive topic for the boy whether people had purposefully taken advantage of his money before, so you didn’t dare to say anything when the man asked you for your size literally two hours after he dropped you off, scared to either reject his solidare intentions or piss him off for bringing unwanted memories back. In  your defense, your personality type keeps oscillating between INFP and INFJ so it’s only natural that you take extra care to make sure those around you have as much peace of mind as possible in your presence. 

As pretty and comfortable the piece of soft clothing is, an important factor is missing, something that you can’t recreate buying two of the same size and color, and that is Jungkook's escence and how good it looks on him in comparison to anyone else in the world. Meaning, you didn’t like it as much as you thought initially would. And it absolutely did not have to do with the fact that your short stature made you look like a toddler who stole their dad’s jacket.

Still, in order to show Jungkook how much you appreciate his gift, you bring it to work the next day, and the rest of the days after that, with the excuse that with winter rolling around you needed something to keep you warm in the office. Jungkook doesn’t miss the opportunity to confirm your assumptions regarding your appearance whenever he barges into your office randomly throughout the week, arguing that ”you look so adorable” and doesn’t stop for two weeks more, until he gets used to seeing you wearing something you shared with him. Which doesn’t help ease your growing romantic feelings for him whatsoever.

Because yeah, you liked Jeon Jungkook, just like every human being with eyes and sexual desires, except, you didn’t just like him in a superficial way, and that’s where the problem with him resides. Though you are sure everyone has fallen in love with the endearing boy at some point - especially the excluded and invalidated women of society - you can’t help but place some blame on you for allowing yourself to be swooned so goddamn easily. Your mom had said to you at some point to be wary of the way some men would talk to you when you grew up, their intention usually being getting inside your pants, which has happened to you more times than you'd like to admit. And with the argument that she knew you better than anyone, she claimed you would comply right the second someone talked sweet to you; you despised the fact that was the case with Jungkook (and Jungkook only), although he had never shown any sexual innuendos. What your feelings could do to your relationship with Jungkook and your rather chill lifestyle scared you to death, shiver me timbers and all that shit, having romantic feelings for someone else is embarrassing, especially when your chance with them has been scratched out the second you laid eyes on them.

Jungkook sits on your couch, legs spread on your thighs as you two pretend to watch some series on netflix. “I don’t buy for a second the act you’re putting on right now.” he speaks randomly after staring at your deep-in-thought state for a few minutes and laughs when you snap at him for not letting you overthink in peace. “What’s going on?”

Truth is, you don’t fucking know. A few hours before he arrived at your place (you had to pick him up at the dorm and sneak the both of you through the subterranean parking lot, because god forbid someone saw Jungkook arriving at some chick’s dorm on a saturday afternoon) you swore you would be able to conceal whatever emotional turmoil you had going inside of you without compromising your regular behaviour around the man, but when push comes to shove, it’s impossible to keep yourself from wondering how far you could go before that special someone found out what was going on inside of your head.

Jungkook’s phone rings in his pocket with some annoying tone he had downloaded illegally from youtube the same day the company had handed over the device as a gift for him (you still were a little bitter over how they neglected the rest of the staff but you also knew it was kind of impossible for the human kind to just gift a-thousand-dollar-phones to almost five hundred people out of solidarity). “Hyung?” he picks up, still wary of your unusual behaviour, concerned eyes looking at you. “No, uh- i’m with Yugyeom right now.” and your heart shatters into a million pieces.

You have been suspecting for a while that Jungkook is being hesitant to introduce you to his social circle. Although, you’ve tried your best not to take it personal, it is getting harder to resist the urge to ask him what the fuck is up with that. The fact that Jungkook had to lie about the person he was hanging out with broke your ego; he could’ve just said he was with a friend, right? You suddenly feel like you’re fifteen again, when the guy you liked would love you in the dark but pretend he didn’t know you in the light. 

Holding your tears back, you gently push him off and make your way towards the bathroom in the most nonchalant way you could. This is your fault for falling for the nice popular guy in the first place, you remind the reflection staring back at you. Still, as bad as it hurt, there was no way you were going to cry over a stupid boy, let alone when he was literally sat on the next room. He can go fuck himself if he thinks he can just toss this behind as if nothing ever happened.

You text Chaeryeong instead.

“chaery bom bom: i swear to god i gonna throw hands the next time i see the bitch.

chaery bom bom: like who the hell does he think he is? fucking squidward looking asshole.

chaery bom bom: he ain’t even that cute bub, you’ll get over him. i know jinyoung wouldn’t treat you like this”

You sigh. Chaeryeong has been enamored with the idea of you and his former company colleague from GOT7 since the day she met the guy (which was somewhere around ten years ago), and although he was all that, you didn’t like his quiet and cold aura, it intimidated the fuck out of you (Jungkook was the entire opposite of that).

You spray on some perfume just to have an excuse as to why you randomly ran to the bathroom when Jungkook’s inquiring eyes stare as you sit back on the couch, which is exactly what he does. “You done with your call?” you ask, bitter.

Jungkook frowns, a bit taken aback by the sudden question but still unaware of the way his words had made you feel, not even sensing the hostile change in your mood. “Yes, it was one of our managers. He was wondering if I could come back to reshoot some...-thing.”

Okay, now you kind of understand as to why he lied in the first place and to say you feel guilty is an understatement. “I supposed he backed down once you mentioned you were hanging out with Yugyeom.” playfulness makes its appearance on your tone and Jungkook rolls his eyes at you, tongue poking on the inside of his slightly red cheeks.

“Sorry for that” he moves closer and cuddles your arm, like a sad guilty puppy. “It’s just- I don’t want them asking questions''.

You understand. He is a very reserved and private person after all. It took you a bit to crack him open yourself. Plus, you kind of share that trait with him, you’d hate it too if people were constantly on your nerves for the people you decide to hang out with. 

And that’s all it takes to forgive him. Not very cash money of you.

“You better not pull that shit again, though” you shift in his hold and he looks up at you. One look into your eyes and he knows what you mean. “I’ll kick you out.”

After nodding, Jungkook resumes his concentration on the series you picked out for him. Due to your short attention span, you are very picky about what you invest your time in, especifically with audiovisual pieces of media, so Jungkook trusts you whenever you recommend something on very rare occasions. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was busy attacking your kitchen counters for snacks (which you didn’t have) when you mentioned Money Heist. “Munch on some grapes instead” you suggested to soothe his disappointment.

You can’t help but feel a little sad when Jungkook doesn’t refrain from cuddling your arm after pleading to forgive him. You wish you could cuddle him instead, that he would lay his head on your chest as you play with his soft hair, but you recognize there are some things you just can’t have.

[witchlyboo]

Definitely, maybe.

Part five: The one who belongs to someone else.

Introduction. Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four.

Paring: Latina!reader x Logan Lerman x Tom Holland x Ben Hardy x Timothee Chalamet x Pedro Pascal x Michael B. Jordan

Warnings: Swearing, angst, misspellings, some Spanish, me learning how to write properly, and NY stuff that I've learned from movies that we all agree to pretend are real.

Word count: 6.4 k

a/n: You been asking for smut, I know, I know, I just wanted to introduce you to all the boys first, and we're getting there, just one more ahead. Also, I'm working on a masterlist because we are getting too many parts already.

All body types and skin tones friendly. You can also enjoy it as a no Hispanic reader. Constructive feedback and misspellings correction is always welcome.

Red and blue lights flash the driving mirror.

—No, no, no, por favor que no sea a mi—You beg to the sky looking at the patrol that is asking you to park, or someone else, there's a lot of cars in this part of the city, there's a big chance is the panic who's controlling your senses.—Dios, mi abuela fue a la iglesia cada domingo de su vida y nunca te pidió nada, please let me have some of her divina recompensa.—But that's not how it works, you end up parking with just a few seconds to think what to say. There's a perfect explication of why you are driving a car that is not yours in the middle of the night and smelling like a minibar.

Then this ridiculous thought comes to your mind, you look expensive, you've never seen the daughter of a senator but you must be close to it, it would make you less of a feminist if you just use your attributes? Ugh, you feel sick just to think about it but don't have enough money to pay a fine, and the constant paranoia of being chased all the time as an immigrant will only get stronger.

You pull down your dress a little so your neckline can do its job but you regret it immediately, and you're pretty sure you look more like an expensive prostitute who stole the car of his lover than some influential men's daughter.

—License and registration.—You hear him say when he approaches your window. You don't like this but you have to play the dumb tourist, the pretty foreign girl that is too stupid to be dangerous, with the look you have tonight it shouldn't be hard. But damn you hate cops, any uniformed man that works for the government is your eternal enemy, and you don't know how long you could keep the nice dumb Latina game before spit on his face.

—There's something wrong, officer? ...You?!—Your sexy and fake high voice is ruined when you see the face of the man who stopped you. This night couldn't get worse.

—Wait, what happened with the party?—Evan interrupts you while you finish some notes for work, little remainders for later when you don't have an eleven years old kid running around you, he's not usually this energic and you have to blame yourself for that, you're describing a life of excess and eccentric fun, something you let behind so many years ago that your own son doesn't know even a bit of it.

—Ugh, a nightmare doesn't worth telling.—You remember vaguely most of it but what keeps fresh in your mind is bad enough to don't want to bring it back.

—But if Timothée is my dad I have to know the important things, including the bad stuff.—Sounds perfectly reasonable and that's what makes you groan at him. Sometimes you feel blessed that your kid is better than you in any possible way, and sometimes you want to kill his brain with video games and reality shows like the rest of the parents.

—Ok, cool, but I'll keep all the +18 content for myself, so this part of the story might be blurry for you.—It kinda is for you anyway.

You should’ve known this night was cursed, you had a feeling because a) your earring fell off at the same time Timothée texted you to give you the party address and say he can't pick you up. And b) he won’t pick you up. Your mother would say that’s reason enough to not go, a real gentleman wouldn’t make you go to an unknown place in the middle of the night on your own in a city like this. But you decide to ignore it because you are a modern woman and because it’s worth it. It better be.

The outfit must be something special. You always take your time to choose what to wear, even if just another regular day, and since this isn't the case you thought about it for hours, that made your mind busy enough to not thinking about Tom and the whole love confession. He texted you saying he'll come for you to go to class together on Monday, which is completely impractical because he's way closer than you but is progress and you're going to take it.

You wanted to ask for Sheep's opinion but you thought she might not care, has been a few days since she started acting strange like she's bothered just to see you breathe. You want to blame his boyfriend to take all her time and attention from you but is probably just her new job, she got a small role in a Netflix show, and even when you're so happy for her, that's the event that has changed her into someone completely different. But you give her time, stress can do bad things to people.

The winner is the exact copy you made of the black and white striped dress Cameron Diaz wore in "The Mask" beautiful, classy, and sexy enough without being too scandalous, not that you have any problem with that, but this isn't the occasion, you don't want to feel like you're being too much or too little, just enough, it's supposed to be easy, right? you were born for this. Just adding some big shiny earrings you got on a thrift shop that look like real diamonds and you're ready, not that you own any to compare. Red lipstick, dark eyes, and a messy bun to get that disinterested pitch every look needs.

Getting there wasn't a problem, you were in the rich part of the city, everyone know who, where and what just to brag about it. The excitement is growing with every second, you check your makeup like thirty times in the elevator and send texts to your mom just to let her know where you are, and because you have to share that moment with someone and you are limited of friends these days.

Timothée opens the door with red eyes, drunk, high, or somewhere in between, you know then you were right about the bad feeling. He jumps on you to kiss you and no matter how much you try to explain the delicacy of your lipstick, he does it anyway, leaving a taste of alcohol and shrimps in your mouth. Taking you by the waist he walks you to a group of people you don't know while you're trying harder to fix the red color of your mouth without a mirror.

—Here is the companion I bought, look at her, that's how five grand per hour look like.—They laughed but you were too disoriented to process all the things he said, it was supposed to be a joke? if it is, why isn't he correcting? Instead, his hand goes straight to your ass and presses it to get you closer to him.

—I'm actually an intern in the costume designer department of the new version of "Sense and Sensibility".—You wanted to mention your recent promotion to hairstylist and makeup artist but that might be too pretentious. Anyway, they don't seem to care what you are or not, in fact, they don't even see you, all eyes are on Timothée

—Oh, well, is easy to forget when you're paying them—All laughs again. Who is this person? Who are all these people, actually? You recognize some influencers, a few cast members but there's no sign of the director, other main actors, not even his co-star. You feel like an extra in a movie where someone will be killed in a luxury party, hopefully not you. You take his hand from your body and clear your throat.—I'm just joking my love, she looks stunning, isn't she? I’ll get you a drink.

He leaves and the group of people surrounding you suddenly dissipated like boiling water, you were on your own again and despite some judgmental gazes is like you’re not there, you’re sure you could just take your dress off and throw it to someone’s face and unless Tim says something about it, no one would care. You’re there as his companion, an ornament, and that’s not enough to earn their attention because it’s too obvious you’re the one in turn.

You walk to the only window no one is smoking and check your phone, you know, the thing you do when you pretend you have important issues to attend, but no, you end reading some old messages, pictures, texting your mom of how much fun you’re having at the party, and somehow you check your filed Facebook messages to find Logan’s name. You cover the screen so fast you hurt your nail, his name is enough to make you tremble like a Chihuahua, you haven’t talked to him since that night, you know from his sister he lives in the house he bought for you two and he’s having the happiest life without you. You want to believe that because that means you took the right decision but deep inside… no, you can’t be that person, you want him to be happier than ever.

You find the guts to open the message, and you read as slowly as is humanly possible. “My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health…” Dios, just Logan could start a message like that, your smile is almost too big to fit in your face so you bit your nail to cover it a little. “I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you’ll be happy to know…”

—That’s a fucking long-ass message.—Tim appears behind you and takes your phone from your hand, spilling some of his drink on your dress in the process. Apparently, he's been there long enough to read part of the message.

—Give it back.—You command in the most severe voice you have, your magical moment got ruined and you remember the hole of hell you are.

—"My angel, I hope this finds you in perfect health. I recently found one of the human body drawings you made for me to study, you must know I still use them now and then"—Timothée starts reading the message, and even when no one is close enough to hear it and you don’t really care about this people’s opinion, that’s not for anyone to read, that’s one of the few parts of your life you treasure the most and you’re not ready to get over it.—You little slut, are you cheating on me with a med student?

—Give it to me.—You repeat trying to take the phone from his hand but he’s faster and walks away putting it out of your reach.

—"I meticulously preserve them, I certainly know any piece of art made by you will be priceless in the near future"—You don’t want to hear it coming from his drunk mocking voice, so you try to ignore what he’s saying and put more effort on chasing the phone.—Should I had kept the jeans where you left the wet spot on? I didn’t know you were an artist, my love.

—Timothée, por el amor de Dios.—Now you're trying to climb him, it wouldn't be that hard to take him down, he's skinny and you're fierce. That's what you thought but he's not moving even with you are on top of his shoulder and his opposite long arm keeps the phone away from you.

—Who is this guy and why is he talking to my girl like this?—You see the olive eyes getting darker and the tone of his voice went deeper than you thought he could do. You desist from taking the phone, you know the bullies love the attention, maybe that's exactly what he wants and give it to him just makes it worse.

—I'm not your girl.—You claim fixing up your dress having enough of games, and you have no reason to keep worrying about losing your job, the filming is done, and apparently your relationship with him too. You don't care about any of that anymore, just want to read Logan's text.

Even behind all the alcohol and the eyes injected in blood thanks for who knows what kind of drug, you can see the disappointment and anger, but it's not a broken heart, Is the hissy fit of a child that loses his balloon and now everyone will pay for it, especially you.

—Are you sure about that?—You can see him swallow hard, almost looking vulnerable, but his voice is defiant and threatening to prove you wrong. He just has to stretch out his arm to reach the open window with your phone in hand, his intentions are clear and the only thing you can do is raise your hands as a reflex.—You were mine the moment you put a foot on my trailer, and I don't fucking share my stuff.—Before you can say a word he drops the phone from the fourth floor.

You know is senseless but you find yourself running out of the party and going to search the device, using it also as an excuse to get away from that place. This is the first time someone makes you feel meaningless, you know the famous' world is cold and lacking in empathy but this is ridiculous, they're a bunch of parasites fed by attention and power. By Timothée.

The screen is crashed and the rest of it is probably beyond repair, not that you're surprised, its life is longer than you've been in the country and you admit you should have replaced it much earlier but you're not the kind to throw away things that still work. However, is not the phone you are worried about, not as much as what it contains.

—That was obsolete anyway, I'll get you a better one.—You didn't know he was following you, his voice interrupts your self-wailing. He sounds calmer and a little embarrassed, but not enough to say sorry, you don't think he's capable of saying it.

You shake your head and start to walk away without a word, you don't want anything from him, not materially, at least.

—Don't make a scandal out of it, it's just a phone!—He yells erasing any trace of regret in his voice. He doesn't see the reaction he expected and that's when he runs after you and with a hand on your upper arm pulls you back, you gasped for the sudden bluntness.—That annoying habit you have of leaving when I'm talking to you.

You push him away with all the strength you have, which resulted in him almost falling on the ground.

—I don't care about the stupid phone!—You finally break, but sadly is not as satisfactory as you thought it would be.—You are mean, vain, arrogant and the worst part is that you enjoy being this despicable human because you have absolutely no consequences to it. Everyone around you just accepts it and I feel so sorry for you because the only possible way for you to fill the void inside is to be surrounded by that crowd of mules licking your steps—To your surprise, he has nothing to say, he's just standing there with no facial expression, whatever he feels is easily covered by his years of experience acting, even drunk.—I can't give you that and it's obvious they don't want me either. What am I even doing here?—You ask yourself thinking where would be the best way of getting a cab, is a rich zone, must be easy.

—Everything is better when you're around—His voice is thin and fragile, you have to process what he said three times in your head to understand his words. You're not willing to look at him yet.—You're not like the others.

—Pure bullshit. You love to repeat that misogynist discourse of girls being in a certain way because is easier than be responsible for the people you choose to be—You were hugging yourself the whole time, is a cold night, but not enough to be bothersome, you enjoy Fall weather—You got me for a moment, I give you that, you fooled me but I'm too tired of guessing what version of you is real—When you return your gaze at him, he doesn't try to hide the guilt anymore, but there's still haughtiness in there.—Now, if you don't mind Mr. Chalamet, I need to get a cab.

—No, you came with me, you leave with me.—There's no trace of alcohol in his voice anymore, a good scolding is enough to put you sober, you know that thanks to your mom. Oh god, you're becoming her.

—You didn't bring me here, gigantic head—You look at him and put your hand in front of him with the palm up. He stares at it for several seconds before put his own on it—Not that!—You shake it and start looking inside his jeans pockets until you feel the metal of his key car.—You can't drive and I have to get home. You'll find it in the studio tomorrow.

That's how you ended with a car way more luxurious than you expected, driving so slowly and carefully that the police stopped you. What a night, but at this point, you couldn't care less about anything that is not that message, is been months and you can't get over it, over him. Not even Ben moans, Tom's comforting arms, or fight with a movie star at 3:00 am. is enough to get him out of your mind.

—So is true, you don't wear anything that hasn't appeared in a movie, huh?—Michael B. Jordan is leaning on the car window with a mocking smile and a sparkle of satisfaction that you would love to punch but his uniform keeps you in line, where you come from police is not equal to justice, most of the times is oppression.

—You know where it's from?—That was kind of comforting, no one at the party noticed. Not that you care.

—Is The Mask, not some Adam Hitchcock's blurb.—He smiles and even when you really don't like him, it's nice to be with a familiar face, you are really tired of running away, scaping for problems that are a result of your null capacity to deal with emotions. Ugh, what a word.

—Is Alfred Hitchcock, actually.—You didn't want to sound priggish, but you correct him with no time to stop yourself, an old habit.

—You got me, smarty, you know more than movies than me. Where did you get this car?—You feel really nervous even when you got this legally, you have your documents and license on time and he's being nice enough to not want to run away in a car that you technically borrowed for yourself.

—It's not mine.—No shit, Sherlock.

—No shit, Sherlock, I was asking where did you steal it.—You wanted to laugh but there's something with the uniform that just doesn't allow you to be yourself.—Are you drunk?

—No, no, fuck, no, it's just, I don't feel comfortable with cops—He raises his eyebrows but that is his only reaction.—Listen, is my boss' car, I'm doing the favor to take it to the studio, and I'm really nervous because is fucking expensive, he's an asshole, I haven't drive un almost a year because you people only use cars if you're rich or your work and lives depend on it. I'm starving.—The last part came out of nowhere, you haven't eaten anything in almost 13 hours, maybe that's the actual reason why you are that moody.

He doesn't answer right away, takes his time to look at you, what makes you blush, he's really close, closer than he's ever been. Does he smell like green apples? Not the actual apples, the artificial smell they had given to them.

—Get out of the car.—Oh no, is he arresting you? Is he finally taking revenge for every time you make fun of his Hawaiian-type shirts? You know you have too much karma accumulated and a cop making you pay for it when you don’t believe in their sense of justice is kinda poetic, and evil.

You don’t want to discuss with someone with a taser, gun, pepper spray, or who knows what else. So you take your bag, the key car, and get off defeated.

—My turn is almost over, I’ll take you to eat something, c’mon.—He walks back to his patrol and you stay still for a few seconds still processing his words, you must look totally devastated for him to offer that. How you see it you have two options, go with him and spend an awkward hour with a person you don’t like or risk getting a fine, Tim can pay it, it’s not a big deal but you don’t want to owe him even the minimal thing.

You get in the car holding on to your bag to feel calmer, this is the first time you’re fully alone with him since you found him half-naked in your kitchen. Those defined abs may never leave your brain.

—Are you cold?—He interrupts your thoughts with his question, you didn’t notice you were shaking. He looks for something under his seat and gives you an NYPD hoodie, you hold it doubting your next move, is not like you don’t appreciate the gesture but it’d be easier to take if it doesn’t get that words printed—Is clean.—He says chuckling when he sees the way you’re looking at it.

—Is not that, just, you know, fuck the police, defund the NYPD, demilitarize the pigs and that stuff.—You say putting on the hoodie anyway, is a cold night and you won't help the institution wearing their propaganda.

—Yeah, I get it, but you can't change the system just from within.—You decide is not the right moment to have a political conversation so you shrug your shoulders and discreetly smell the hoodie, a mix of cologne, green apples, and cheap soap, you know is cheap because you buy the exact same, do its job.

—I'm in the mood for pizza.—You say casually, making a deal to yourself to try to be his friend, he is a small part of your life anyway.—Domino's is open at this time of the night?

—Tell me you're not consuming that shit, dear Lord, you been here for how long, two years? I can't believe your idea of a good pizza is Domino's. Stella hasn't taught you anything?—You're surprised by the level of condescension with a pizza and you mirror his smile, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Your school program includes people from all around the world so you don't have that much experience with actual new yorkers. Logan is rich, so he doesn't really count.

—What's wrong with Domino's? I don't buy much street food, is cheaper to buy things on the food market. Besides, all pizza is good.—The mention of Sheep makes you a little tense, so you don't say anything about it, is not a conversation to have with him.

—Don't blaspheme in the patrol, I just washed it—You laugh, finally, after a terrible weekend. You can see why she likes him, there is something about his voice, smile, and his eyes that feel... calm, like watching Friends after a marathon of Lord of the Rings.—There are rules to survive this city, and I'm surprised you have made it this far without a proper guide.

—Chill out Mr. Miyagi, I'm not from the jungle, and I've learned a lot by myself.—He gives you a lopsided grin as a request, and you put your fingers up ready to enlist your acquired knowledge.—Walk fast, like you're about to be stabbed, something that actually happened to me, with an umbrella—He nods and laughs being related to it.—Number two, no small talk, no one cares, even if they ask. Number three, if you look a stranger in the eye, especially a homeless person, you have essentially invited them to approach you.

—Number four, we never eat from Domino's, Papa John's, Pizza hut, or any other chain restaurant, only trucks and local places are allowed.—You roll your eyes but you get the point, is just, again, you're not much into street food, it doesn't taste like home and the only way to eat food like that is preparing it yourself.

—Fine, fuck capitalism, let's support local places—You make an obvious fake enthusiastic tone but he nods proudly.—Number five, you don't need a car to live here, not even know how to drive. I would have successfully avoided this police brutality if I had followed that rule.

—For someone who is about to eat for free, you whine too much.—He parks the car and gives you a sign to go with him. You see him go to a pizza truck and order, you realize at the moment how ridiculous you look, so before chasing him you let your hair down, take your huge earrings off, and roll up the skirt of your dress until your mid-thighs letting the hoodie cover the rest, and clean the red lipstick with a Kleenex from your bag. Now you look more like a college person and not a rich girl who just got seized.

—Here you go.—He says giving you a slice as big as your head, looks oily and spreading cheese everywhere. Perfect.

—Is it vegan?—You ask receiving the food with an obnoxious face. His kind grind turned into a dread expression and you give him your second laugh of the day.—I'm kidding.

You are about to give it a bite when you see passing next to you a huge rat with the exact same slice as yours in its mouth, running into the dark of the night happy to have obtained the food for its family. They use to scare you when you just moved out but now they're like any other pigeon in the sky.

—Rule... whatever, a rat with a slice of pizza is a symbol for good luck, congratulations.—He pets your head awkwardly, not sure if you're ok with the physical contact, which, surprisingly, you are.

—I see rats with bagels all the time.—Pizza and bagels, that's the main culinary wonders of the city, you like it, not much to object but is hard not to compare it with your home's food.

—Is easy to confuse a rough diamond with a simple rock.—You both eat in silence, enjoying the mixed sounds of the city and all the different smells, the whole situation feels like one of those lofi music videos. You remember thinking about moments like this before getting the scholarship, what would it be like to feel normal in the city of your dreams.

—How do you know that much about movies?—He asks after a few minutes when you take a break to drink something, that pizza is not easy to take.

—When I was a kid a spent much time on my own, so my dad bought me a used DVD reproducer, and at the corner of my neighborhood was this movie store where you could buy 5 pirate movies for one dollar. They were blurred, with a terrible sound, and most of the time with the wrong movie inside but they helped me to not feel lonely. Eventually, the store closed but I've watched everything in it by then—He gives you a warm smile, you never told that story to anyone, not because is too intimate to share, but because no one asked, it doesn't sound like a question with a complex answer.—Anyway, I watched Marie Antoinette when I was like eight, and I decided at that moment that however is done I wanted to be part of that magic.

—You hear all kind of people chasing dreams in this city but is hard to find someone who actually deserves it.—You blush and you cover it with your hair but the smile on your voice is impossible to hide.

—Is that a compliment? You must really want me to like you to date Sheep.—You laugh but you can see his face tense, so you can guess your friend has been busy breaking everyone’s hearts.

—She hasn’t returned my calls in three days so I don’t think there’s much you can do—You nod, all this time you thought he was the reason she is ignoring you but apparently you are both in the same boat.—But yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking, what I should have said is, Marie Antoinette at eight? I can see where all the damage started.

You gasp and throw your napkin at his head, he easily catches it without even looking at it and laughs; that was unexpectedly attractive.

—Why a cop?—You ask, not sure where that question came from, maybe you authentically want to know more about him, he just bought you food, and honestly, that's the easiest way to win your trust.

—I wanted to be an actor when I was a child. This is the city of opportunities so you may think that if you want to chase the big wonder, this is the perfect place to do it. But I grow up surrounded by these people giving their entire lives to get something just given to one in a million so I decided is not worth it. For many years I wondered what I wanted to do with my life and the answer was really clear, my dad was a cop, a good one, or that’s what people say. I don’t remember much because he died when I was seven—Conversations about death are not your strength, everything can turn out uncomfortable if you choose the wrong words.—It might not be that glamorous but if my father died for it, it surely worth it.

—For the good ones.—You raise your almost empty can of Coke and he does the same with a grin that warms the cold weather of the night.

—For the good ones.

The next two hours passed like minutes talking about anything and everything. It just felt right to talk freely with him, you didn’t feel judged for your awkward family moments or your random thoughts, not even once because he told you his too. At some point of the night he borrowed you his gym sweatpants, any of you could just suggest going home but that was off the table, end that peace just for weather reasons would have been a tragedy.

—I read Timothée Chalamet is a dick. Is that true?—The mention of his name remains you of your life and everything that comes with it, including the middle semester project that you must dedicate your entire day, one that is about to start.—What, you can’t talk about it?

—He is a complete dick with no sense of privacy or human decency—And when he interrupts a deep kiss to look at your eyes, smile, and caress your chin, you feel like a character of his Victorian movies. But he didn’t ask that.—But the next week he’ll be no longer my problem.

—That’s why we have rule twenty-three, don’t ask for a picture of a celebrity unless they are local—You have heard about it before but you haven’t got the opportunity to decide if you like that rule because the only celebrities you have seen are from work and that club’s party opening.—That means you’ll be free to go to the Stephen Kings’ movie projection there will be for Halloween.

You don’t know if that was a proposition, a suggestion, or just a simple recommendation, and whatever it is, you noticed he was nervous to ask. Is it wrong? It feels wrong like you were betraying your friend accepting to hang out with his boyfriend without her consent. But he didn’t ask you to go with him so is safe to answer.

—Yeah, I guess—You get a moment, four seconds top, where you shared innocent, curious, and tenting gazes like three graders in the playground. And that’s the further you will allow yourself to go.—We better leave, if the sunlight touch me I’ll turn into dust.

You get off the car hood and go to the side door, but this time he opens it for you. You give him a “seriously?” Look, receiving a little push in your arm as a response.

↬☀︎︎

A distant voice asks you to wake up, softly whispers that turn into caresses on your cheek, your eyes feel so heavy, even when you are well aware of your environment your eyelids keep closed.

—Good morning, Princess—This is the first time Tom calls you that way, the change from silly nicknames to Princess is enough to get you out of hibernation. He is squatting beside your bed, his smile is the promise of a better day, and chasing that idea you give him one small back.—Your mom has been texting me desperately all day, she said you're not answering her calls and is worried.

—Fuck, my phone broke last night, can I call her from yours?—That’s an oversimplification but in the search for a better story, that's what you decide to believe and tell. Tom nods and gives it to you, he looks happy, beyond that, this is the first time you see that subtle blush on his cheeks and the eyes sparkling. You sit on the bed next to his body looking for your mom's number, slowly he moves between your legs, you have shorts and an oversized Back To The Future t-shirt, you got took the time to prepare yourself to bed last night and keep Michael’s clothes inside your closet to wash them, like The Tell-Tale Heart, a little innocent secret who feels dirty somehow

The conversations with your mom are always long, nostalgic and the tears are hard to hold for both parts; after a long life sharing almost every day with her, her absence never feels smaller. But this time is different, Tom is exploring the bare skin under your knee with his warm hands, asking for permission with curious eyes, and when you don’t object to the touch the British boy keeps his exploring mission cautiously, giving special attention to see your eyes in case something change. Is time to hang up when he gives a long and loving kiss to your knee, the less erotic kiss you could think of but so intimate to bristle your skin.

—Not nice to touch someone's daughter when is talking to her mom.—The protest of your voice loses strength at every word, he heard that and just straight his back to reach your face, the gap is almost extinct.

—We're okay, she likes me.—He assures holding your hips and pulling you a bit to him. Tom looks very comfortable with the new closeness authorization, you like it but are not very sure about it yet, most of you still think of him as your best friend.

—Did she tell you that? Are you talking with my mom behind my back?—You laugh when he does, almost like nothing changed.

—She adores me, I swear, I'm invited to Christmas, you know?—You're not surprised, she invites everyone, Logan was too but the first time he got family plans and didn't make it to the second.

—You should go, maybe we can do...—His lips touch yours in a peak at the middle phrase and makes you forget what you were about to say.—Man, the audacity to interrupt...—Then he kisses you again, deeply, using his tongue to taste your inner lip and his hands holding your shirt in fists. That's a twist of events.

—Is that ok?—You hear a weak whisper coming out of his voice but you got so mesmerized on his lips that decided to ignore it and kiss him back instead. He responds to your touch and starts to lean over you to make you lay on the bed.

Jesucristo bendito, is this happening? like, actually happening? you must look like trash, you barely took all the makeup from the night before and didn't take a shower, you start to get so worried about smells, feelings, and what that'll mean to your already too much-spoiled friendship.

However, the time of doubts is done when Sheep starts yelling in the living room, you both reacted running to the sound and looking for your blonde friend. Michael is there but doesn't look like the same as a few hours ago, is annoyed and tired for the lack of sleep, a look that doesn't match him at all.—What did you do?—You ask him fast assuming she's mad for something he did.

—Just in time, the star of the movie, I was wondering how much it will take you to be the protagonist of this.—That is Sheep's voice talking about you and what must be your heart breaking from her words.

—Excuse me?—You wish your tone would be less savage but you can't help respond the same way she did.

—Logan wasn't enough, then you got the drummer, fucking Timothée Chalamet, Tom and now my boyfriend. I'm so glad I didn't leave you alone with my dad or I'd be calling you mom now.—You have no words to that, Michael doesn't even dare to look at you, he must have told her something she misunderstood, but Sheep, or well, Stella is saying things she actually thinks and keep to herself. Tom walks in front of you whispering things to her to calm her down but she is not looking at him, you didn't tell her anything about Tom either so he's taking responsibility this time.—Go ahead and fuck the whole city, Michael if that please you but you're crossing the line with Tom and you know that, you're going to ruin him as you ruin every man that enters in your life.—She has a very you moment having the last word of the dispute and getting out of the apartment with Michael going after her but not putting much effort in it.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

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[study-coffee-chicago]

Stars on your Sleeve (Part 2) [A Jay Halstead Imagine]

A/N: The name of the girl is Y/N (I mostly write my imagines in second person POV...except for the one you guys might see in a few weeks) and cariña is just a nickname/term of endearment in Spanish that means sweetheart. Sorry if anyone got confused about that in part one!

"Dad," you started as you walked into Jay's office after school that day.

It was a Thursday and you had taken the bus from school to the district. It wasn't often that you did this, but you had gotten texts from both your mom and dad telling you that the current case was going to drag on and on tonight, so they wanted you at the district so that you wouldn't be home alone until two or three o'clock in the morning.

"Hi, cariña. How was your day? Learn anything interesting in school?"

"Dad," you groaned. "It's high school, half the stuff they teach me I won't ever use again."

"Well, excuse me for wanting to know about my daughter's day."

"Just can't wait for this week to be over to sleep in."

"You and me both, kid."

"Half the time you work weekends though, Dad," you pointed out.

"Comes with the sergeant title."

"And your sleeping in is like 7:00."

"Point taken. Now, did Mom pack you a few extra snacks or do you need some money for the vending machines?"

"She didn't--"

"Don't even finish that sentence, young lady," Hailey said as she burst into Jay's office. "I packed you a few extra things and you know it. You just want--"

"--Oreos," Jay and Hailey said at the same time.

"Hey, don't blame me! They taste good," you protested. "Anyway, Dad, can I use your laptop to do my homework?"

"Don't you have that school-issued one?"

"That one blocks Netflix."

Jay crossed his arms across his chest. "Homework, huh?"

"I'm just writing a paper. It's not like I'm doing math or reading something."

"What type of paper?" Hailey asked. "Because, I'm pretty sure that if it's a research paper, you need to focus."

"It's a narrative, so I don't need to be constantly focused, Mom."

"Makayla does the same thing," Adam said as he entered the office as well. "Let the kid have the laptop, Jay."

"Thanks, Adam."

"Uh," Jay groaned, "I guess."

"We also have a lead, so you wanna roll out after I give you the info?" Adam asked.

"Yeah. Sorry, Y/N, you need to go into the breakroom now."

"But why can't I stay in here?" you whined. "I want your spinny chair."

"Y/N, this is a case," your mom told you. "You know the rules: no being around the case talk. It's for your own good, we don't want to scar or scare you."

Mom, you know what I've seen, you wanted to tell her, but you knew it would be no use as your parents would never budge on this rule.

"I know, Mom."

Jay pulled his laptop from his desk along with the charger. "Rules?" he probed, holding onto the laptop and charger.

"Dad, I know the rules. Mom, c'mon, tell him."

"It's your dad's laptop, Y/N. I'm not arguing with you or him on this one."

Jay cocked his head to the side. "I'll give you the laptop after you tell me the rules...even though I know you know them."

You sighed. You went through this every time you used his laptop when he was going to be gone. "Only use my account, don't try to login to your account, and do not delete my search history."

"Here you go." He handed you his laptop and charger. "Good luck on your paper. Don't work too hard."

You went into the breakroom and opened the laptop. First, you pulled up Netflix, and then you pulled up your paper. It was your paper for your senior portfolio, which most people were putting off, seeing as you were only a freshman, you didn't need to work on it yet. But, you knew it had to be long, so starting it now would probably be helpful.

The paper was basically a narrative telling a story about each year of school. The stories had to be from two to five pages long, which meant that the paper in its entirety would be between 26 and 65 pages long. But, you didn't mind. It's not like you had to write a boring research paper. You also had to write about your career goals and one wish for your future as well, which would make the paper even longer still.

Seeing as your schooling didn't exactly match up with the American school system until you were around nine and in third grade, you had gotten permission from your teacher to just write about the sections of kindergarten, first, and second grade, as just memories from when you were six, seven, and eight years old.

You'd save the memories of six and seven for later, since you'd have to dig into the part of your brain where you were in the orphanage with your older sister, Illiana.

For now, you just scribbled down a few lines for ideas of when you were eight years old...which was pretty simple since a lot happened in your life that year.

***

"Y/N, we brought you some food if you--"

"Shut up!" Mouse hissed as the rest of the unit clambered up the stairs and into the bullpen. "She's sleeping."

Yes, when Mouse came home he returned to his job as the tech analyst of the Intelligence Unit. And, when Jay became sergeant, he pulled a few strings and got him a huge salary increase.

"I'll pull the car around front," Hailey offered.

"No," Jay whined. "That means I gotta be the bad guy and wake her up."

"Sorry, babe. I call dibs."

"Ew, guys, please keep the lovey-dovey nicknames to home. I don't need to see that," Adam joked.

"Shut up, Ruz."

Hailey swiped the keys from Jay's office and Jay went to wake you up. But, before he did, he saw the laptop, still open to both Netflix and your paper.

There wasn't much in the paper yet, as Jay had expected, only a few bullet points. His name caught his eye below the age 8 section...whatever that meant. He didn't mean to pry (well, really he did), but he closed the laptop without logging you out so that he and Hailey could take a look at it later.

"Y/N, Y/N, wake up."

You were woken up by someone gently shaking your shoulder.

"Quiero dormir, vaya," you whined. That was one thing you always did: reverted back to Spanish when you were tired. At least both Jay and Hailey understood it now because they had learned Spanish...which helped them with parenting because when they were mad at you, they'd talk in Spanish and that's how you know you were in deep shit.

"I know you want to sleep, and I'm not leaving," Jay answered. "But, we're going home so you can sleep in your bed instead of here."

"Mmmm, okay," you mumbled. You rubbed your eyes, but then decided it was too much work to get up, so you just sat up and closed your eyes once again.

"C'mon, cariña. Mom's got the car out front and then all you gotta do is stay awake until we get home, okay?"

"Mmmm," you mumbled and then stood up. He already had your backpack slung over his shoulder and was holding his laptop in the other hand. "Can I skip school tomorrow? I'm tired."

"Not a chance," Jay chuckled. "But, I can drive you to school and we can get you a frappucino on the way there."

"Mom won't be mad?"

"We don't have to tell Mom everything now do we?"

"No, we don't."

***

"What are you doing?" Hailey asked Jay as she slid into bed next to him that night. "Are you seriously checking our daughter's search history this late at night? C'mon Jay, she's a good kid. You won't find anything."

"That's not what I'm looking at. But, now that you mention it, I should probably check that, too."

"Then, what are you reading? Because I know for a fact that your case notes are definitely not as organized as that."

"Wow, Hails, you're so sweet," Jay said sarcastically. "It's Y/N's paper. The rubric was pasted at the top and it looks like she has to write about a memory from each year of her life and her career goals and a wish for the future."

"And you were snooping because...?"

"Because I saw my name. I wanna see what she says about us, Hailey."

"Jay, she loves us, baby. We're her parents. We both know that. You don't need to read her schoolwork to know that."

"Either way, I'm still reading it. Join me if you want, or go to sleep."

"Uh, fine. But if she asks, this was your idea and I will not hesitate to throw you under the bus."

Age 8, they both read to themselves, leaving/running away from orphanage

"God, no matter how many years it's been since she told us what happened, it never fails to break my heart," Hailey said.

Jay wrapped one arm around his wife. "I know, babe. I feel the exact same way."

"Hey, Y/N," the therapist started and you looked up at her. "Do you want to in that room over there and watch some tv while I talk to jay and Hailey? I can even turn on the Spanish movies for you."

"Okay!"

After getting you all set up, she left you in the room with a Spanish children's movie playing while she went to get Jay and Hailey.

"Jay and Hailey?" she asked as she entered the waiting room.

"Dr. Smith," Jay greeted.

"I have something to tell both of you, and Y/N told me it was okay that I tell you. When I asked if she wanted to be the one to tell you this, she said no because she didn't want to make you sad."

They entered the room where you had previously been and Dr. Smith sat in a chair and Jay and Hailey sat on the couch.

"What's this about?" Hailey asked.

"Well, she told me why she ran away from the orphanage."

Jay and Hailey were shocked. You'd been with them for three months and hadn't once mentioned why you ran away and what happened before Jay found you. It wasn't for lack of trying on Hailey and Jay's part, though. They tried. After all, they knew how to talk to child victims. But, they didn't want to push you too hard, and eventually, they just dropped the topic all together because they knew you'd talk about it when you were ready. Apparently, today was the day that you were ready to tell that story.

"And?" Jay pushed. "Why'd she run away?"

"She said that they came for her, the people who you were fighting," Dr. Smith said.

"Los Rebeldes," Jay said, more to Hailey than to anyone else.

"They came for her specifically?" Hailey asked.

"No, they just came to the orphanage. She said that she heard voices--male voices--telling them to get down on the ground and then some shots rang out. Her sister, Illiana, told her to hide and slipped the necklace around her neck. So, she did. She said she closed her eyes really tight and she just laid there, hiding and barely breathing. She said she heard a gunshot and then she heard Illiana scream and she heard squishing noises."

"Oh my God," Hailey gasped.

"You're saying they shot and killed her?" Jay asked, his voice cracking.

"That's what it sounded like, yes."

"How did she get out?"

"She said that she snuck out through a small door in the back of the room. She said it wasn't a real door, but it was a small door that led to the outside, by her description, it sounded about three feet tall and two feet wide."

"The waste doors," Jay muttered.

"The what?" Hailey asked.

"The waste doors...well, that's what we called them on Base anyway. They were these little doors where you could place stuff outside. Sometimes we'd put the packaging of our MRE's there or other crap we didn't need anymore. Not good for the planet, but yeah, that's what we did."

"So, Jay, you're telling me that Y/N essentially snuck out of the orphanage through a trash chute?"

"Well, we used them for waste, which is why we called them waste doors. But, I heard rumors of them being used at orphanages for parents to put their baby in a crib. They'd just open the door and place the baby in the little crib on the other side of the door."

"She moved the crib and snuck out through there?"

"If there was a crib, then she moved it and got out. If not, she just crawled out through there."

"Did she tell you anything about when she left?" Hailey asked Dr. Smith.

"She said that she didn't have much with her, just her teddy bear and that locket. But, she said that she walked for the rest of the day. And, according to her timeline, the soldiers came right after breakfast. She said she was really scared that they were going to find her and so she just kept walking. But then, she found a bit of a forest it sounded like and since it was starting to get dark and cold, she laid down."

"I found her in the middle of the night and she must've been there since sunset. No wonder she was hypothermic."

"We got her her first banana split after that therapy session," Hailey said. "I honestly don't know whether the food was to get her to try something new or to comfort us."

"Yeah, that was a rough night. I didn't even want her to leave my arms," Jay said. "Jay found me and I went home to Chicago," he read aloud. "Man, that night was rough, too. Probably worse than the night where we found out why she left."

"Now, it's crowded here, cariña so stay cerca to us or go mano a mano with me or Hailey, okay?" Jay asked you as the three of you found a parking spot at Navy Pier.

Adam, Kim, Kevin, and Will were all there as well. They had planned to go out and party and go to a bar when Jay returned home, but that changed now that he and Hailey had a kid to take care of, so they had decided to take a trip to Navy Pier.

In the airport, Jay had gotten a huge coffee from Starbucks, seeing as he had barely slept on the way home. Before coming to Navy Pier, you had gone to a place called iHOP where you had gotten some really yummy pancakes, and Adam, Kevin, and Will had made you laugh a lot and Kim spoke Spanish with you.

"What does that word mean?" you asked.

"What word?" Jay asked, looking down at you as he took your hand.

"Cr-crowded," you sounded out slowly.

"Uh, it means there's lots and lots of people."

"Oh, okay. I stay by you."

"So Y/N, what do you like to do?" Will asked you.

"I like reading and play fútbol," you told him.

"Really? Jay loves playing soccer!"

"We played back at the big house in España," you told Will excitedly. "We won and I got lots and lots of goals."

"Looks like you have a pro soccer player on your hands, little brother," Will said to Jay.

"Don't I know it."

"We go on the big thingy you showed me in the little book in the plane?" you asked Jay.

"The Ferris wheel?" You nodded excitedly. "We can do that, but let's walk around first. We might be able to play some games and win you a friend for Osito."

"Really? Osito have a friend?"

"Really," Jay promised.

As you walked down Navy Pier, you were excitedly pointing out every little thing you saw from the ducks and the seagulls to the big yachts floating down the Chicago River.

"Let's go into Garrett's, babe," Hailey suggested when they were inside the big atrium. "Give her a taste of Chicago's world-famous popcorn."

"I think that's a great idea," Jay agreed. "What do you think, cariña? Want to try some popcorn and then we'll get your favorite?"

You tilted your head to the side. "Popcorn? What is that?"

"Palomitas," Kim clarified for you in Spanish. "Hay muchos tipos diferentes de palomitas allí para probar y comprar."

"Oh, okay. Yes, please."

"What did you say to her?" Hailey whispered to Kim.

"Just gave her the Spanish translation of popcorn and then told her that there's a bunch of different types of popcorn that she can try and buy in there. But, you and Jay most definitely have your work cut out for you when it comes to learning Spanish. You're lucky that she's pretty good with English already and that I'm here to help you learn Spanish."

***

"Sleepy, cariña?" Jay asked as he heard you yawn from the backseat.

Hailey was driving and he was holding a big bag of caramel and cheddar popcorn...which Hailey was telling him not to eat all of it because she knew he would. You were in the backseat with your big stuffed bear, whom you had named Osita since she was a girl bear because she had really soft white fur and a pink ribbon tied around her. Jay had won that for you when he played a shooting game. You also had a stuffed duck that Will had won for you when he played a guess the weight game. You named him Pato...which meant duck in Spanish. You had gone on the Ferris wheel and had pointed out all the pretty things in the sky when you were up there. Hailey had never seen Jay so happy as when he was smiling wide at every little thing you pointed out and he tried to explain to you what they were.

"No," you answered as you laid your head against Osita. It was currently 3 pm Chicago time, which made it about 9 pm Spain time.

"Tell you what," Hailey started, "When we get home, we can show you your room, and then we can watch a movie and eat this popcorn. Because, if we don't start eating it soon, Jay will eat it all."

"Jay eat it all if we no eat it too?"

"Jay eats a lot," Hailey joked.

You reached your hand in front of you and towards Jay. "Palomitas please." Jay chuckled and Hailey smiled as he put some popcorn into your little outstretched hand. "Gracias."

"De nada," Jay told you.

"When we watch movie, how I get it?" you asked.

"We get it on the tv," Jay told you.

"No, how I know what they saying?"

Hailey hadn't thought that far ahead when she had suggested watching a movie. "Um," Hailey faltered. "We can make it so it's in Spanish."

"But then you no know what they say," you pointed out.

"We can put words on the bottom of the screen in English for us," Jay suggested. "Then all three of us will know what they're saying. Is that okay?"

"Okay!"

"Hailey," Jay whispered. "What are we gonna watch?"

"She's too old for princesses probably and way too young for action movies...how about Disney Channel movies? We could try High School Musical? That one's pretty good."

"You're kidding Hails. You watched that? Didn't it come out when we were like 20 or 25?"

Hailey held back a laugh. "Yes, it did. But, I babysat a lot of kids in my neighborhood who were around Y/N's age, and we'd always end up watching those Disney Channel originals."

"Okay, whatever you say, babe."

***

"I think I'm gonna bring her to bed," Jay said.

You had fallen asleep halfway through the movie. Before starting it, you had seen your room. It was purple! And, in black letters behind your bed, it said Salon de Y/N, which meant Y/N's room. Jay assumed that Kim had helped Hailey with the spelling and the boys had helped move the furniture into your room. There was also a little basket with a few things they thought you would like, such as a few different colored soccer balls and a bookshelf.

On the bookshelf, Hailey had picked out some books in Spanish that she had found at Barnes and Noble and some short chapter books in English that she used to read as a kid, such as the Nancy Drew series and Little House on the Prairie. She knew that you might need help reading them and might not be able to completely understand them all by yourself yet, but she knew that she and Jay would be there to help you.

"It's 6:00," Hailey protested. "Shouldn't we wake her up and have her stay awake for a few more hours so that her body can adjust?"

"If you're asking an adult like me that, yes, I'd stay awake. But, she's a kid. She needs her sleep. And, I'll probably be up before you anyway, so I can deal with her if she wakes us up at five in the morning."

"Okay super dad," Hailey joked. "Bring her to bed. I'll make us a quick dinner and cover this popcorn so it doesn't get stale. Can't wait for us to go to bed tonight." She winked.

"Hails, as much as I would love to take you up on that, I don't think it's a good idea when it's Y/N's first night. But, I will give you all the cuddles in the world tonight, don't you worry about that."

"As long as you didn't pick up the habit of snoring overseas then I'm all for that, babe."

***

Jay woke up to the sound of soft whimpering. It sounded like it was coming from the hallway but he couldn't be sure. He reached over Hailey and was about to grab her gun from her drawer where he knew that she kept it, but stopped when he remembered that it was probably just you. It wasn't just Jay and Hailey in the house anymore; you were there as well and that's probably where the noise was coming from. And, he didn't want to scare you by holding a gun.

He glanced over at the clock. 3 am. Yeah, sounds about right that you'd be waking up right about now since you'd slept for about nine hours and it was 9 am in Spain right now.

Jay slowly tiptoed out into the hallway, cursing himself that he hadn't left a light on or kept his and Hailey's bedroom door open so you could find them easily.

Jay reached out for the hall light switch and flicked on the lights, causing you to jump. "Hey, hey, it's just me. It's just Jay," he said calmly once he laid eyes on you. You were holding Osito and there were fresh tears running down your cheeks.

Jay never knew the force of an eight-year-old running into him could be so strong as to almost knock him over. You dropped Osito and wrapped your arms around him as if your life depended on it.

"It's okay, it's okay," Jay soothed. "What's wrong, cariña? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I-I no know where I was," you mumbled into his shirt. "Was dark. Think you and Hailey left, so I came to find you."

"Oh, sweetie," Jay started. "I'm sorry. I forgot to turn the light on for you in your room so that you'd know where you are. And, me and Hailey would never leave you."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Your stomach grumbled. "Hungry?" you nodded. "Alright, let's get you a sandwich and then get you back to bed."

"You eat too?" you asked.

"You know, I could go for a sandwich."

***

The next morning, Hailey rolled over to see that Jay wasn't in bed next to her and his side of the bed was cold. Then, she remembered you and walked over to your room and slowly opened the door. You looked up from the Spanish book you were reading and put a finger to your lips.

"Jay sleeping," you told Hailey.

Jay was sitting upright in your bed against the headboard, his thumb holding a place in what looked to be a Nancy Drew book.

"Did Jay read to you last night, huh?" Hailey asked as she walked closer to you and Jay.

"Yeah, he told me that Nancy does what you and Jay do with policia. Then, I sleep again and then I wake up and he sleep again, so I started reading in Spanish."

"I think we should let him sleep a little more while we go finish High School Musical and eat palomitas before Jay eats it all. Does that sound good?"

You nodded eagerly and closed your book. Then, you got out of bed and followed Hailey out of your room. And, after hearing that Jay had read to you and seeing him sleeping upright in your bed so that you'd be able to sleep, she had one more reason why she was truly head over heels for the man she married and got to call her husband.

"Look, Jay. She wrote her birthday in here for age 9," Hailey said as she pointed to the laptop screen.

"God, I don't think I'll forget that day for the rest of my life. It was such a good day."

"You are such a sap when it comes to Y/N."

"Hey! let me be sappy about our daughter, Hailey Anne. She's in high school now, high school. That means she'll be going off to college soon."

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself, sergeant," she joked. "Just keep reading this. It was your idea to snoop through her stuff after all."

"Jay, you got the stuff?" Hailey asked as she was sitting cross-legged on their bedroom floor with wrapping paper, tape, and scissors in front of her.

"Jesus, Hails," Jay laughed, "You make it sound like we're doing a drug deal."

"Well sorry if I want her birthday to go really well. Now, did you get them or not?"

"They're in here." He set a plastic bag down on the bed. He took out three framed pictures and laid them out on the bed. Of course, he made sure that the frames were different shades of purple. "Good?"

Hailey stood up and looked at the pictures. "I never know the CPD's sketch software could work miracles like this, so yeah, I'd say we did good."

Over the past month, everyone in Intelligence had told you that they were testing out a new sketch software to use to try to track down criminals. They let you play with it because they said they wanted to see what it would do...even though they knew what it did, how good it was, and it wasn't new. It was just a ploy to make sure they got your birthday gift right. They had told you to try and input someone's face from memory, someone like your older sister, Illiana.

So, when you had to go to the district for the day with Jay and Hailey, you'd ask to play with that software to work on your sketch. Little did you know, they were printing it out on fancy photo paper and putting it in a frame for your birthday. Jay had also swiped your necklace one day when you had taken it off to go swimming and had taken pictures of what your mom and dad looked like. Then, he and Hailey each took one parent and worked on making their faces through the CPD's sketch software.

"Now what the hell is this?" Jay asked as he held up a big board that Hailey had laying out in front of her as well.

"That, Jay, is so we can stick the back of the frames to it so that we don't have to give the three of them to her separately. Then, she can just take them off from it and place them wherever she wants in her room."

"You're smart. Maybe you should've gone to law school."

"Haha, very funny, Halstead. But then I wouldn't have met you."

"Eh, I beg to differ. You'd probably end up being some prosecution or defense attorney and then I'd have to testify, and after getting yelled at by you on the stand, I'd end up making an ass of myself and ask you out for a drink."

"Is that so?"

"That is very much so."

He walked up to her and grabbed her by the waist and she gave him a peck on the lips. "Hails," Jay whined. "Why'd you phone it in?"

"Because we have presents to wrap. Now, sit your ass down on the carpet and help me."

"Yes ma'am. But, damn, you're really going to be the death of me."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

***

"Before we do cake everyone, me and Hailey have one more gift for Y/N," Jay announced by tapping a fork gently against his champagne glass. Yes, the adults were drinking champagne because they were celebrating your first birthday with them as their kid. No, they wouldn't even give you one sip...but you didn't care and you didn't ask.

You had gotten spoiled all day. Will had taken you out for breakfast where you had gotten chocolate chip pancakes with all the toppings. Then, he took you to the sporting goods store where you bought an FC Madrid jersey and to Barnes Noble where you bought a few new books.

Then, when you got home, you were surprised to find everyone from Intelligence there along with some people from Med, and firehouse 51. Emilia, Mouse, and Makayla were there, and your friend, Rosa, whom Emilia had introduced you to earlier in the year at her welcome home party since Rosa was one of Emilia's little cousins.

You had gone outside and played a huge soccer game. And, when you got sick of playing soccer, Emilia busted out a makeup kit she had bought for you. And you, Makayla, Emilia, and Rosa did each other's makeup. While the four of you were doing makeup, a soccer tournament had broken out where Intelligence played Med, and then the winner of that game played Firehouse 51. Intelligence won against Med...mostly due to Jay. But, then they played 51 and they got creamed.

"Here you go, nena," Hailey said as she passed you the gift. Hailey had started calling you nena since Jay had a nickname for you, cariña, which you learned now meant sweetheart in English. So, she decided to call you nena, which meant honey. And, you and Hailey had thought it only fair if you came up with a nickname for Jay. So, the one you decided on was quite fitting in your mind: pecas...which translated to freckles. And, Will, well Will calls you Osa because your favorite animal is a bear. It's probably one of only three words he knows in Spanish next to hola and adios.

The gift was long and hard...like a piece of wood. You slowly opened the gift, wondering what else you could have possibly gotten.

You bit your lip as you finished tearing the paper off and flipped it over. "Mamí, Papí, Illiana," you whispered as you held back tears. "¿Cómo lo hicisteis?" you asked. Seeing as Jay and Hailey had been working very hard on their Spanish for the past nine months, they could understand you and could sometimes explain an English word to you in Spanish if needed.

"We didn't really need to test out the drawing thing," Jay answered. "We just needed a picture of Illiana. And, I got the pictures of your parents from the locket."

At this, you started to cry harder, remembering that day when Jay had to cut your necklace off of you in the back of the Med truck in Spain.

You stood up and hugged both Jay and Hailey at the same time. Now, you had both of your families watching over you: your biological family from in heaven and your parents in the here and now. And, your biological family now had no doubt in their mind up there that you would never, ever forget them.

"You remember what she called us that night?" Hailey asked.

"How could I forget? It was the first night she called us mom and dad. I still remember her exact words when I told her we weren't trying to replace her biological family: Son mi familia en el cielo y en mi corazon, pero vosotros sois mi familia aquí."

"They're my family in heaven and in my heart, but you are my family here."

"Exactly."

"Oh my God!" Hailey laughed. "She wrote sixth-grade: I cheated on a literature test and Mom had to come to pick me up and I got in trouble. And then, Dad went full-on dad-mode."

"No fucking way," Jay laughed as he brought the laptop closer to him and looked for the sixth-grade section. "I can't believe this is what she's going to write about!"

"Well, in her defense, it was the first time we had to ground her and the first time you went full-on, overprotective, my daughter can do no wrong dad-mode."

"Pretty sure the next time I'll do that is when she gets asked to the homecoming dance later this year."

"Jay! You will not! You will not scare the boys away from our daughter!"

"Well, they should be scared!" Jay argued. "We're both cops, babe. We can make their death look like an accident."

"Jay, what you're talking about is murder and I shouldn't have to remind you that that is illegal. If so, I am going to the Ivory Tower tomorrow to get you stripped of your sergeant title."

"Fine, fine. The next time I'll do that is when she gets her driver's license."

"Hey, on the bright side, we wouldn't have to pick her up from the principal's office then," Hailey pointed out. "She could just drive herself home."

"We wouldn't have to figure out which of us should go pick her up like last time?"

"Exactly. And I'm pretty sure she was thankful that it was you and not me who picked her up in sixth grade."

"Miss Halstead," your literature teacher said as she stalked over to you from the other side of the classroom. "Care to tell me what you have under your sleeve?"

"My arm?"

"I don't like being disrespected in my classroom. We both know you have your phone in there. And, lying to me will just make this worse."

"I-I needed it," you stammered, not wanting to have the whole class hear how stupid you were.

"For a test? You know the rules: no cheating. Principal's office, now. Grab your stuff. And, I'll be calling your parents as you walk down there."

You grabbed your backpack and started your walk to the principal's office. It's not like you had a choice...well, you did have a choice. You could've just not used your phone on the test. But, after that last grade you got on that essay and how weirdly worded the questions were, you basically had no choice but to use your phone. It's not like you were using it to look up the answers per se, but you were using it to try and understand the questions because there was no way you were going to ask that teacher.

"Mrs. Halstead, right this way," you heard the office secretary say as they led Hailey to the principal's office. Your phone was sitting on the principal's desk, the tab you had been using to cheat open and you were fiddling with the strings of your hoodie. You had thought about deleting your search history, but knew it wouldn't be of any use because Jay and Hailey would just be able to look it up with whatever police software crap that Intelligence had access to. You knew you'd be in more trouble if you deleted it and they found out that you were lying, so you decided you wouldn't delete it...even though you were regretting that decision as your phone screen stared back at you.

"May I ask why my daughter is in the principal's office when I thought she should be taking a test?" Jay and Hailey knew all about your literature test that day as you had read the book twice to be ready for it.

"That's exactly why she's in here, Mrs. Halstead," the principal told Hailey. "She was trying to cheat on her literature test."

"She wouldn't do that!" Hailey defended you. "She studied so hard!" She looked between both you and the principal, but your gaze stayed trained on the floor.

"Just take a look."

He passed Hailey your phone and she looked at the search history and the timestamps of said history. "Y/N, is this true?"

You nodded. Hailey sighed. "I'm assuming she's suspended?"

"Since this is her first academic infraction, I'm not going to suspend her. She does need to go home for the rest of the school day, though."

"Thank you. C'mon Y/N, let's go."

You hung your head as you left the middle school, Hailey holding your phone and still trying to figure out why you did this. But she knew that one thing was for sure: the minute Jay got home, he would not be happy.

***

"You're kidding me, right?" you heard Jay ask Hailey in the kitchen.

You were currently in your room, but the kitchen was right down the hall, so if you were quiet and focused enough, you could hear their conversation.

"I wish I was, Jay," Hailey said. "Just...here, take a look."

You assumed that Hailey was handing Jay the phone and he was looking at your search history.

Jay took a deep breath and restrained himself from shoving the chair into the kitchen table.

You heard his heavy footsteps coming down the hall and quickly locked your door and then sat back down on your bed.

You heard the doorknob jiggle as Jay tried to open your door.

"Y/N! ¡Abras la puerta inmediatamente!" (Open the door immediately!)

You were in deep shit if he was yelling at you in Spanish.

You didn't move from your bed.

"¡Ábrelo ahora!" (Open it now!)

"¡Estoy viniendo! ¡Calmáse!" (I'm coming! Calm yourself!) You got up from the bed and opened the door.

"Do not ever, ever tell me to calm down ever again! Do you understand me?" Jay asked angrily as he flung open your door after he had unlocked it. You nodded. "Now, I understand that you were caught cheating on a test. Care to explain that to me?"

"Not really," you sighed as you sat on your bed.

"I'm giving you one more chance to explain to me why you chose to cheat. And I suggest you tell me the truth, kid."

You looked up to be met with Hailey standing in the doorway. She nodded to you as if to say you better listen to your dad.

"Well?" he asked as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"I needed to cheat!"

"Nobody needs to cheat!"

"Well, I did!" You dug through your backpack and found the paper you had to write for the class that your teacher failed you on. "Because of this!" You threw the paper on your bed. "And because my teacher is a puta!"

"You do not call your teacher a bitch, young lady!" Jay yelled.

"Jay!" Hailey yelled. "Take the paper, go to our room and read it and calm down!"

"So Mom can tell you to calm down but I can't?"

Jay turned back to you, but Hailey grabbed his arm. "Bedroom Jay. Now." He left the room and Hailey turned to you. "As for you. You're grounded from your phone for the foreseeable future. Sorry, nena. Now, we'll be back to talk to you after we've read whatever it is you threw on your bed."

***

"We read the paper," Jay said as he and Hailey entered your room again fifteen minutes later. "And, I'm sorry for yelling. I know me and your mom are both detectives, but it'd look better if you told us why you cheated instead of leaving us to put the pieces together."

"I'm sorry, I really am. It's just, I failed that paper. And, I worked really hard on it. And, she said it wasn't a real tradition."

The paper topic was to write about a family tradition and you wrote about the Spanish tradition of eating grapes on New Year's Eve. With twelve seconds left of the year, you'd put a grape in your mouth for every second that passed. You'd try to get all twelve grapes in your mouth, but that was really hard. You wrote about the last time you did it with your family and your papí almost got all of them in your mouth while you only got three in your mouth since you were only three years old at the time.

One of the grading criteria for the paper was that it had to be a real tradition.

"She said that it wasn't a real tradition, Dad. She said that because she had never heard of it and that it sounded weird to her, that it wasn't real. So, she failed me. I also put some Spanish words in there, but I put the translations next to it. I thought it would make it more...what's the word? It's kind of like real? Like it'd make it more real to read? You know that word for it?"

"Authentic?" Hailey asked.

"Yeah, that. I thought it'd make it more authentic to read. And, I knew the material of the book. But, the questions were so confusing and I didn't want to ask her to clarify because she's mean."

"So you googled the questions to try to figure out what they were asking?" Hailey asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry. I really am. I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me and think that I've been here for four years and not know English."

"Oh, cariña." Jay crouched in front of you. "We'd never think that. I promise. And I know Mom would never think that either, right?"

"That's right," Hailey agreed.

"Now, I have to go make a phone call."

"You went off on that teacher, Jay! I don't think I've ever heard you that angry when you weren't in interrogation!" Hailey laughed.

"Well yeah! That teacher's logic and grading criteria were seriously flawed. And, you read that paper. It was really good. As Y/N put it that day, she really was a puta."

Hailey rolled her eyes.

"Wish for the future," Jay read aloud. "I wish that I could figure out why Los Rebeldes came to the orphanage and killed Illiana."

"I think that's enough snooping through her stuff for the day, babe," Hailey said, beginning to feel uncomfortable reading this. "Let's just go to bed."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna take a quick shower and I'll be back, okay? I love you." He gave Hailey a quick peck on the lips and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

"I love you, too."

But, Jay barely heard her. He was so lost in thought about how to get answers for you, for his daughter. Hell, he wanted those answers just as bad as you. What kind of sick bastard would come into an orphanage heavily armed and just kill innocent civilians and innocent children?

***

"Mouse," Jay said as he entered the bullpen the next morning, "I need your help with something."

"Jeez, Jay, you're late," Ruzek commented. "Where's Hailey?"

"It's her RDO. And, I promised Y/N a frappuccino because she had to wake up early for school and had to go to bed late last night because we were working a case."

"Does Hailey--"

"No, Adam. Hailey does not know that I gave our fourteen-year-old daughter sugar-laced coffee this morning. And, if you so much as say the words frappuccino, Jay, and Y/N in the same sentence, I will bump you back down to patrol so fast you won't know what hit you."

Jay started to walk towards the tech area where he assumed Mouse would be. His voice carried, so he hoped he'd heard him when he'd said he needed his help.

"Whose idea was it to give Jay all this power?" Adam asked rhetorically. "I think it's going to his head."

"I heard that Ruz!"

"You needed something, Jay?" Mouse asked as he turned around from his laptop and took a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, can you do something off the books for me?"

"You don't even have to ask anymore, man."

"Just need to make sure you don't assign a case number to it."

"I can do that. Now, what do you need?"

Jay pulled out his phone and pulled up a Spanish newspaper article from two weeks ago. He laid the phone in front of Mouse. "This. This is why I need you."

Mouse looked at the phone and back up at Jay with raised eyebrows. "I'm gonna need you to translate that. I don't speak Spanish."

"Says that the guy who killed everyone in the orphanage that Y/N was in is meeting with his lawyer about an appeal. That son of a bitch. And, it's happening on Monday."

"He's meeting with his lawyer on Monday or you'll know if he won the appeal or not on Monday?" Mouse asked.

"He's meeting with his lawyer on Monday."

"And you need me because...?"

"Think you can hack into Spain's maximum-security federal prison system?"

"You cannot be serious."

"I am dead serious, Mouse."

"Why don't you just wait to hear the news?"

Jay sighed and took a seat next to Mouse. "Y/N has to write a paper and was using my laptop. It was this narrative thing for her senior project, so it's due in a few years. But, I'll spare you the details. Y/N had to write what one of her wishes for the future was and she wrote that she wants to know why the guy killed everyone in the orphanage. Not who, because we already know that it was Raúl Rodríguez. She wants to know why."

"That guy's the one who told them to attack the orphanage? The one that killed her sister, right?"

"That's the prick."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. I'd know that if it was my sister or my kid that I'd want to know."

"Thanks, man."

"Video and audio?"

"Yeah. I'm probably gonna get Emilia in on this too to translate."

"Why? Don't you and Hailey speak Spanish?"

"We do, but they're gonna talk really fast and I probably don't know law lingo except for the word lawyer."

"Fair enough. I'll get to work."

***

"Hails, Hails," Jay shook Hailey awake.

"Jay? Why are you home so late?" she asked as she rolled over and opened her eyes. It was almost 11:30 and she had gone to bed half an hour ago...she thought Jay would've been home by 11:00.

"Paperwork," Jay answered honestly. He instantly regretted his decision of waking Hailey up knowing her history of insomnia. "But, I shouldn't have woke you up. I'm sorry, babe."

"No, I'm awake now. What's up?" She sat up in bed and turned on the lamp to see Jay changing out of his clothes and into his pajama pants and an old t-shirt. "You don't have to sleep with a shirt on you know."

Jay smirked. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? But, don't want our daughter to walk in on me shirtless."

"She's spending the night at Rosa's," Hailey informed him.

"In that case..." Jay trailed off and took off his t-shirt along with his pajama pants so that he was just in his boxers. "Better?"

"Much better."

Jay pulled back the covers on his side of the bed and slid in next to his wife. She cuddled into his side and he wrapped an arm around her.

"What'd you want to tell me?" she asked.

"How do you know I wanted to tell you something?"

"You had that look in your eye, Jay Halstead. Now, tell me."

"So persuasive." He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Shut up."

"You love it, though." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "You know how Y/N's biggest wish was to know why Raúl Rodríguez attacked the orphanage?"

"Mhmm," she mumbled.

"Well, I'm gonna find out why."

She pulled away from him. "What? How? You're going to Spain? To interrogate him? You know the CPD doesn't have jurisdiction there even though you were a ranger there, right?"

"Hails, I'm not going overseas to find him. I promise you that."

"Okay." She settled back into his embrace. "Then what are you doing?"

"Having Mouse see if he can hack into the prison system so that I can watch the lawyer talk to him."

"And you're going to be able to understand everything they're saying?"

"No, but Emilia will."

"You called her and told her your plan before you told me?"

"No! The only person who knows is Mouse. I figured I'd call Emilia tomorrow. Like I said, I was just at the district late doing paperwork."

"Okay, I believe you. And, we're not going to have her in the room with us, Y/N that is? We're going to tell her why he did this so she doesn't have to hear it from him?"

"Precisely. Now, am I right in assuming that since Y/N's gone for the night that we can be as loud as we want?"

"You are very much correct in that." Then, he gave her a kiss...and this time, he didn't phone it in at a peck.

***

You were sitting in the breakroom Monday afternoon trying to do some American history homework. There was so much reading involved, but it was okay because you liked history. And, there were pictures in the textbook...it wasn't like you were reading Romeo and Juliet like you had to do in English class.

You knew Emilia was here because she had brought you some fries, much to your mom and dad's dismay since your mom had packed you a few extra snacks. But, Emilia said she had to hold up her reputation as your cool aunt...even if she wasn't related to you whatsoever. And so far, she was holding it up.

You didn't know why she was here, but you assumed it was because Kim was in the field and they needed someone to translate audio. Sometimes Jay would call in Emilia if he knew that she wasn't working to do some translating so he didn't have to deal with calling up a patrolman. You also knew from hearing some of his conversations with Will that Will wanted to ask her out.

And, you hoped she say yes. You wanted Emilia to be your actual aunt. Apparently, she had a thing for doctors according to Jay's side of the phone conversations you'd heard, so you hoped it'd work out if your uncle Will ever got the balls to ask her out.

All of a sudden, Emilia came into Jay's office and he took off running. Hailey saw this and she started following them.

"What?" you asked yourself.

They always would tell you if they had to leave and they'd always be sure to tell you they loved you before they left.

You quietly walked out of the breakroom and towards where you had seen them running to. You assumed they were in the tech area because of the direction they ran in and the fact that whenever Emilia was here, she was most likely in the tech room.

As you got closer, you started hearing Spanish.

Someone talking about an attack...an attack on an orphanage.

A man said it was in the Tabernas Desert.

You peeked your head around the corner to see that on the screen there was a man in a nice suit and someone sitting at a table with handcuffs on.

"Anything we don't already know?" Hailey asked.

"Not that it sounds like right now," Emilia answered. "They're just talking about the orphanage Y/N and Illiana were in and where it was."

So this is the guy who did it. This was the guy--no, the monster--who led the attack that killed your sister.

"The lawyer just asked Rodríguez why he did it," Emilia said.

"And?" Jay asked

"Jay, I need to be able to hear them talk, so shut up."

Jay held his hands up in a sign of surrender.

"The lawyer just asked if it was something personal, something like Rodríguez being an orphan and he didn't have a good experience there so he attacked it, something that would tug at the board of appeals heartstrings essentially." There was a pause as Emilia continued listening. "He said no." She paused again. "Oh my God."

"What?" Jay asked frantically. "Why did that prick kill innocent children?"

"He said he ordered the attack because the orphanage was receiving aid from the US, for things such as food, clothing, and basic necessities."

"Un-fucking-believable." Jay wanted to punch something, but he restrained himself. "So, because our country was helping those who couldn't help themselves, this prick went after them?"

"That's what it sounds like. I'm sorry, Jay."

"Hails, how are we going to tell Y/N?"

"You guys don't have to tell me," you said as you made your presence known. "I heard the whole thing."

Jay sighed. "I'm sorry cariña, really I am. I'm sorry that this happened to you. That you had to find out this way. That this was the reason for what that monster did. I'm sorry."

"Dad read my outline?" you asked, turning to Hailey.

"Yeah, nena, he did. It was just open and you know him, he couldn't stop himself."

"Because he's a detective before he's a sergeant, just like Nancy Drew," you said, bringing it back to the books you'd used to read with your dad every night when you had just come over to the states from Spain and were working on your English.

"This should never have happened," Jay said softly as he walked over to you and brought you into a tight hug. "People that do these kinds of horrific acts shouldn't have the right to be born, much less to live."

"But if that wouldn't have happened you wouldn't have found me. And I wouldn't have found my forever Mom and Dad."

A/N: I wrote over 6.5k words to get this posted today! That's a new personal record for me! Also, my neuroscience class is kicking my butt right now, so if I don't update as frequently, that's why. Hopefully, I'll get one out every week or every two weeks at the latest. Please like/reblog and comment because I love getting feedback and it keeps me motivated to write. If you want to be added to the taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you! 

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e