#and the good side of 'traditional masculinity' still being present!!!!

[qierxing]

Head empty just yandere Heartslabyul as your imperial harem members

yan!poly!Heartslabyul x Reader

tw/cw: dub//con, gender-neutral reader but referred with masculine terms, drugging, manipulation, implied somnophilia, political machinations

—

you were raised with the expectation that you would shoulder the crown and rule over your people, justly and fairly. because of that, by the time you were crowned, your mindset compared to others your age was mature beyond what was considered normal.

you would be lying if you weren't bitter. Although you've long accepted that no one else could be trusted to rule this land and its people, you often wondered what your life would be like if there were no etiquette lessons and sword practices consuming your childhood.

In the end, it's all foolish dreams. You sit on your glittering golden throne and watch apathetically as the imperial court cheers and raises a toast to the new royal blood.

You were prepared for the responsibilities of a monarch, but what you weren't prepared for was your vassals' obnoxious nagging.

Your kingdom's tradition and laws have long allowed for polygamy, and your previous ancestors were known for their large harems. That day, you finally learned why: to ensure that royal blood would still be carried on, no matter what.

it's distasteful to you. you try to ignore your vassals all talking your ears off about potential consorts and lovers. but it's only so long before you crack.

Riddle Rosehearts was the first one to be by your side.

Not by choice. Duchess Rosehearts was the one who brought up her darling son to your vassals first, who then presented him to you. You would've turned them away, if not for the boy's eyes. Something in those stormy gray eyes makes your heart ache. His mother clutches her son's shoulder in a vice like grip that goes far beyond parental worry. Perhaps he too knows what it feels like to have no control over his life. 

And so reluctantly, you let him join you as a consort. 

It's not bad. Rather, he's so intelligent and diligent that you often ask him for help and advice on the kingdom's affairs, knowing that his strictness with himself and others provides a valuable impartial view that you can hardly find anywhere else. Besides, even if he is too stiff and formal at times, you appreciate his aid in paperwork that threatens to drown you.

in fact, he's so dedicated to carrying out his duty, that you find him nearly unrobed on your bed. Seven above, that nearly gave you heart palpitations. As attractive as he is, you have no intention of forcing the boy to give up his virginity against his will, even if he is married to you. 

you explain this to him as patiently as you can, even when his face scrunches up in hurt and confusion, asking if he wasn't enough–but you shut that down immediately. He is more than enough, and he isn't obligated to do anything he doesn't want to, even if his mother taught him otherwise. the revelation shakes his mind, causing his walls and views to crumble before him in the following days. you would like to think he became less stiff as he realized his true worth.

That is when an unexpected addition to your harem happened.

Actually, it was completely by accident. Your servants had often brought you various snacks and sweets during your work, as you were infamous for being extremely cranky without the motivation of good food. When Riddle, of all people, brings you a strawberry tart while you’re in the middle of some particularly grueling financial budget papers, it gives you pause.

It's not that you didn't trust him. It’s just…this is the boy who refused to eat more than the healthy amount of sugar. Even if you offered him various pastries and cookies, he always shunned them, saying it wouldn’t be right for him to consume them. 

So you spear a fork into the tart and bring it up to your mouth. When the bite meets your tongue, you swear your soul ascends to heaven. The taste is absolutely indescribable: the crust was flaky and light and the filling was sweet and creamy. This has got to be the best dessert you’ve ever tasted in your short life.

When you inquire Riddle about where he had gotten his hands on the tart, he shyly looks away from you and mumbles something under his breath. Not wanting to pressure him, you decide to let it go with a request to send your highest compliments to the patisserie. 

Since then, he is the one bringing you various treats, all unbelievably delicious tasting, each time you’re stuck among paperwork and meetings. You’re grateful, even if it does make you wonder who this mysterious patisserie is. You’re not particularly familiar with every kitchen staff member, but you would think that you would be aware of such talent residing in your walls. 

The truth finally comes to light when Riddle bursts into your office one day, in tears and hyperventilating, as he collapses in your arms. Alarmed, you quickly try to make sense of his babbling words. 

It turns out that the very patisserie wasn’t in your kitchens, as you thought. No, they were humble commoner folk who ran a modest bakery in the shopping district. Riddle had been secretly visiting the bakery whenever he had the time to buy their desserts and to visit his friend, the owner’s son. Problem is, his mother had found out and was furious that her son would debase himself and his reputation like that.

Trey Clover stands behind his parents with wide, frightened eyes as Duchess Rosehearts shrieks on about how she’ll shut down the establishment herself for daring to corrupt her son and so forth. It’s rather annoying that she would go this far in the name of parental love–thankfully she stops screaming once she catches sight of you. 

For once, you’re thankful for the absolute authority of imperial power. Duchess Rosehearts begrudgingly draws back when you block her attempt to defame the bakery. With a disappointed glare searing over the rest of you, she storms out of the bakery, door slamming shut behind her with a deafening crack.

You watch with mild interest as Riddle rushes forward and envelopes Trey in a tight hug that nearly knocks the tall man over. Despite the fact that Trey should be the one more distraught, he comforts Riddle with an ease that is almost suspiciously, dare you say, reminiscent of fondness. You look away before your thoughts dwell on it for too long.

Of course, it’s not all over. Trey’s parents kowtow at your feet with desperate gratitude, even if you beg them to stand up and raise their heads. As you glance over at Riddle in Trey’s arms, thoughts begin to arrange themselves into a proposal.

You and Riddle both know that Duchess Rosehearts would not stop here. Your presence was only a mere temporary hurdle in her plans to bring down Clover Patisserie, and there was no telling what she would do next. So, you propose something nearly unheard of to them.

Your vassals will throw an absolute fit if you openly sponsor their bakery and provide protection without something in exchange. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but this is the only way that Trey and his family would be safe. 

Surprisingly, he accepts the proposal with grace, becoming the second consort of your harem that very day. 

He inquires if there’s anything he should be aware of for his duties, making you laugh raucously and Riddle blush to the roots of his strawberry hair. You wave him off, telling him he only needs to do the things he loves and to bring you more of those tarts that cured your stress during your work times. The smile he gives is radiant and you wonder how it is that Riddle managed to find someone who makes the sun pale in comparison.

The next day, Riddle tells you between paperwork that he gifted Trey his own kitchen to bake and cook, and you nod in approval. It’s too easy to tease him over his obvious favoritism toward the baker, and it only makes you want to bully him more when his face becomes tomato red.

The annual royal banquet comes up and it dawns on both you and Riddle that Trey will have to present himself to the feral noble masses who are itching to know who this new addition is. The three of you are thrown into a hurricane of preparations, not just for the banquet, but to prepare poor Trey, who has never attended such an elite event, for the troubles ahead.

It’s certainly not for naught, you think, as you rake your eyes over your consorts. Their beauty outshines everything, in your personal opinion. When you make the introductory speech, you’re well aware that the audience in front of you is not just dazzled by you, but rather the two handsome men dutifully hovering behind you.

You hope that Riddle is enough of a buffer when the nobles inevitably swarm them with excited and curious eyes. As much as you would like to help, you were stuck with your own battles of greeting various guests and entertaining those who were trying to butter you up.

The Diamond family catches your eye first. 

It wasn't something positive, per say. But it is quite hilarious as the Marquis introduces you to his family: his wife, his two elder daughters and his only heir and son–only to find the aforementioned son missing. He’s left stuttering in shame even if you don’t particularly mind. It would’ve just been another boring greeting, but at that moment, his eyes dilates in fear, and when you follow his gaze, you see why. 

Cater Diamond is currently flirting with Trey. And very openly, at that.

The sight should make you furious, and yet you nearly burst out laughing. How could there be anyone this daring? Surely the young man would know better than to try hitting on an imperial escort–if he was aware that is, of the man being one. 

You decide to be the merciful mediator, because Riddle is nearly about to blow a gasket by Trey’s side and Trey looks like he’s too flustered to appropriately reject the advances of the eldest Diamond son. 

“Lord Diamond, I do believe your father is looking for you.” His face is full of surprise at the image of you grinning at him in amusement when you gently break the awkward atmosphere. 

After he leaves in a hurry, your two consorts apologize profusely for letting the flirtations happen. You reassure them that it was fine, that whatever they liked to do was not meant to be dictated under your actions. However, their faces still remain guilty and dismayed, as though you had reprimanded them instead.

The encounter remains in your mind as an entertaining memory. So much so, that when your vassals pester you again on adding another member to your harem, your mind immediately goes to sparkling jade green eyes and vivid orange hair.

If anything it was on a whim. Of course, you consulted both Trey and Riddle before sending the invitation, and they both agreed, even if Riddle looked much grumpier than usual. You hardly believed that the proposal would be answered favorably; after all, you’ve learned from recent gossip that Cater Diamond was a rather well known playboy. You doubt that kind of man would enjoy being tied to an imperial harem, even if it was under your lax control.

Perhaps that is why it’s so surprising that when he finally is in front of you, he acquiesces to your proposal with no hesitation at all. You ask in disbelief if he was sure of his decision, and he affirms it with no distaste in his voice. He notes your incredulous face, giving a cheeky grin in response.

Apparently he's been wanting to separate himself from his family for a while. The reason for his scandalous affairs were only attempts at getting his family to send him away, but he never succeeded. He says that your proposition finally gave him the freedom to be away from his family. While you don't want to pry further, it confuses you on how the Diamond family managed to raise such an eccentric young man.

Regardless, he becomes the third member of your harem. There were some small tensions between him and Riddle, but thankfully they resolved rather quicker than you expected–it seems that although Cater acted rather laid back, he has skills in organization and networking that even Riddle had to begrudgingly acknowledge. Ask him on the most recent gossip on the nobles and he's sure to provide you a list alphabetized on the latest trends around the capitol. Besides, it seems him and Trey get along quite well—too well, in a way. You don’t think you’ve seen a pair more prone to exchanging sensual, fleeting touches. Well, that’s not your problem.

You pray that nothing more eventful comes up in the meantime. Trey could only supply you with so much cake and cookies before you simply keeled over from sugar intake.

It seems the Seven were not on your side.

The Knights' jousting tournament was something that slipped your mind. When it gets brought up on the agenda in a meeting you silently curse. In the racket of you ascending to the throne and tending to your harem, you had neglected a big aspect to your royal life.

Personal guards. Normally, you should've had personally assigned soldiers that would accompany you for protection, but you've kept putting it off since you were able to protect yourself just fine with your abilities. And hiring new people, for any reason, was always going to be a long chore of vetting, paperwork, and tests.

The worst part is that Riddle and Trey joined in on the nagging. Going on about how they worried for your safety as if you weren't already trained in self defense and swordplay since your childhood days. Cater just shrugs when you look at him desperately for help and winks while running off to who knows where. Traitor.

Whatever. The sooner you pick, the sooner they'll get off your back.

Somehow this year's tournament is rather disappointing. Your three consorts give commentary throughout the matches, but it cannot stop the boredom starting to overtake you. Trey discreetly offers you a cup of wine and you take it gratefully.

The announcer signals the start of a match, with Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade taking a stand against each other. You hear Riddle faintly murmuring to your side about how they look rather young to be in a tournament like this. But you're rather absorbed in their intense fight, to the point where Cater teases you, asking if your taste included younger men. you roll your eyes and tell him to be quiet.

The fight ends in a spine tingling draw. Both men have their swords knocked out of their hands, but they’re still glaring at each other with such raw passion, that it’s fascinating. You know you will hardly meet any others that could catch your attention.

The end of the tournament ends with the roar of the crowd shaking the colosseum and the boisterous victory announcement. The two of them weren’t finalists, but that matters little to you. The victor was impressive. But they weren’t what you wanted.

“Ace Trappola, at your service, your majesty.”

“Deuce Spade, at your command, your majesty!”

The two greet you with enthusiastic fervor that has you chuckling in amusement. They are just the breath of fresh air you need. 

“Starting from today, you two will be my personal guards.”

They’re left with gaping mouths at your bold statement. Your consorts, too, are sputtering at your side. Riddle is already trying to convince you to reconsider. Trey is gently trying to ask if you’re really sure about this. Even Cater, for all his light-hearted banter, chokes an incredulous scoff, covering his mouth with a fist.

Yes, there’s always the threat of treason, and they might be slackers, but if you were going to have to employ someone, you’d rather it be someone entertaining. 

Regardless, the two are knighted and become your guards in record time. 

For several days, a persistent headache haunts you with how much Ace loved riling up Riddle for no reason, or Deuce somehow managing to blunder his way into destroying several pieces of priceless antique furniture. It takes only two days for Riddle to kneel at your side, begging you to please just switch guards, these two were ridiculously incompetent and not worthy to serve under you, but you only pat his head and send him off back to his chambers to rest. 

Trey and Cater were arguably more agreeable, but you don’t miss their tired looks whenever they had to clean up after Ace pissing off a passing noble or Deuce somehow causing a fire when tripping over an iron poker. It makes you feel guilty, of course, but you still cling on. Call it stubbornness but you didn’t want to let go of the two. It was selfish, you know, and monarchs could never afford to be selfish, but was it so wrong for you to indulge in the only pair who seemed to disregard your status?

The answer came one hot summer evening, when you’re on your balcony trying to unwind. Tonight was the usual designated night to share a bed with your consorts, but you deigned to postpone it since you weren’t in the mood nor did you want to force the other three to deal with your sour attitude. It’s halfway through your third glass of wine that you were a rustle, then after starting your fourth, you hear footsteps, to which you turn and just narrowly miss a dagger aiming for your heart. The blade instead rips a gash through your left shoulder, causing you to grunt in pain, alcohol thankfully dulling most of the throbbing sensations. Unfortunately, your mind is hardly clear enough to have a steady stance to fight back properly, let alone see the assassin’s face. 

You can’t believe you were going to die pathetically like this. If this was going to happen anyway, you should’ve at least finished your glass of wine—

Shouts, then sounds of clanging steel, and a blur rushed into your sight, tackling the hooded assassin and knocking him down. Deuce’s familiar blue hair registers in your blurry vision, holding down the assassin, while Ace’s flaming hair and eyes come closer in view, shouting something that keeps fizzling out to nothing. Your world tilts to its side suddenly, a loud buzzing in your ears, and everything goes black.

When you come to, you find Riddle with swollen, tear-crusted eyes hugging your bedsheets, while Trey exhaustedly sits behind him next to a wash basin and several empty vials. Cater was out cold on the chaise beside him, several papers littering his body. It seems that the assassin was quite thorough, as they made sure that if their sharp blade didn’t manage to end your life, then the quick acting poison laced upon the steel would. Ironically, according to the herbalist and doctor, because you drank a whole wine bottle, the alcohol managed to slow it down somehow just long enough for you to get treatment. A miracle, indeed.

For once, the room is no longer filled with tension with all five of the men together, but a genuine sense of relief. You give the two of your knights soft smiles and a sincere thank you which makes their faces flush like a ripe strawberry. Your escorts don’t protest, mirroring the same gratefulness in their faces. 

Something changes after that night. 

Of course, you’re extremely glad that Riddle is no longer blowing his top off after Ace goads him about being a stick in the mud, but since when did Ace get into pet names with Riddle? Rosebud? The nickname makes you gag internally at how corny it is. Not to mention that Riddle…doesn’t mind being called that?! You watch in disbelief as he preens at the compliment from your knight, trying not to give away your incredulousness. 

Okay…whatever, at least they’re getting along? 

Deuce shows up with your slice of cake with a beaming glow that has you taken aback as you accept the offering. Ace mutters about how Trey must’ve spoiled him again behind you and it takes everything inside you to not spit out your cake mid-bite. Again? Trey was kind, you’ll give him that, and he did tend to baby Riddle and you but—

On second thought, perhaps this wasn’t out of left field.

Cater titters knowingly when you slump in bonelessly into the lounge next to him trying on new earrings and bangles. 

“And what ails my dearly beloved king?” You choke on your spit before glaring at him. He giggles, dangly silver drops chiming in tune with the laughter. 

“Not you too…” It felt like the whole day you felt like you were background to some of the most insufferable flirting, and with your escorts and knights, no less. You raise an eyebrow at the shiny, glittering jewelry scattered on the vanity in front of the man. All imperial escorts did have an allowance, but you don’t remember Cater buying anything like this nor gifting him such things. When you inquire about it, Cater gives you a smirk and a wink.

”Rido and the younger ones have been quite sweet lately.” The sentence makes you nearly fall off the lounge. He chortles and blows you a mock kiss with no shame as you sear him with another heated glare. 

The way they started interacting starts making you feel self-conscious and…embarrassingly enough, left out. Which is such a foolish thought. Of course, who would in their right mind love the person who tied their lives to them, romantically and sexually? And even though they were in such a situation, the fact they all loved each other was a blessing, wasn’t it? How many history lessons did you have where the monarch’s harem wasn’t full of in-fighting? That meant more prosperity and stability political wise, and there wouldn’t be any trouble between you…

Yet, your heart clenches at the thought of Trey’s smile directed at Cater, of Riddle gently caressing Deuce’s head, and Ace slinging an arm around Deuce…none of that affection could ever be for you. 

And it’s best that way. Your father’s voice echoes distantly in your mind. You watched him solemnly on his deathbed as he implored you to not make the same mistakes he did, before his breathing stilled, and his hand lay limp in yours.

Yes, perhaps it was better this way. 

Still, your thoughts are still wandering that you barely jolt back to present to a cabinet meeting looking expectantly at you. 

“Pardon, could you repeat that?”

Riddle watches in worry as a dark shadow crosses your face as the demand for your harem to grow is conveyed. He coughs, causing the members to turn to him instead.

”If that’s the case,” he states with no hesitation, “then I might have some candidates in mind.”

You turn to him with the same expression as the other cabinet members. It drops to shock at Riddle’s suggestion.

As much as you wanted to oppose it, there wasn’t really a good reason to. You sat with your arms crossed as Riddle explained the proposal to your very two personal knights. Ace and Deuce exchange looks, and something between them is communicated before they turn to you and accept, despite your hope they wouldn’t.

And so, your harem became five.

You put your foot down after that. It was already enough to have your heart cracked into pieces with the knowledge you could never have their love. You don’t think it could handle another.

So you tuck your heart away as you smile with them over dinner, bantering over whether flamingos can play croquet or dancing with them at various balls, heart racing as the chandelier lit their face with a warmth you’ve never seen before. If it means you won’t get hurt or distracted, then that’s all you could ask for.

One fateful day, a letter out of numerous piles is hand delivered by Cater and changes your entire world.

It’s sealed with the crest of the fairest queen in the seven realms, meaning only one person could have sent this—Vil Schoenheit. Inside the elegant letter details a marriage proposal that listed all the benefits of taking him as a spouse. With all the pros listed out so cleanly, it was clear that the queen already knew that you couldn’t reject it so quickly.

But you must dissolve your harem. I do not take kindly to those who are not loyal to me and me only.

Something in your heart cracks at reading the condition. You should feel elated, somewhat, that you no longer had to drag around escorts for formality. And for the others, it meant being freed from a duty they were all forced into. But tears threaten to bubble over your eyelashes, and when Riddle asks you if you’re alright, one manages to overflow and trail down your cheek like a traitorous banner. 

You don’t want to let them go.

Trey asks for the nth time if you’re sure you don’t want him to be with you or if you want some tea before you shoo him away. Ace and Deuce were meant to guard your chambers, but you wave them off too, saying you’ll find stand-ins for their places. Riddle and Cater were harder to shake off, but even they, too, were finally shut out when you closed your bedroom doors in their worried faces.

In the end, like a coward, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them what that letter was, despite them asking nonstop about it. You’re not sure what to tell them either—that they were being discarded of their positions, no longer needed, but it wasn’t out of maliciousness—oh, who would even believe you?

When Vil graces your halls, the looks your escorts give you is enough to fill you with burning hot shame. 

Cater doesn’t have his usual mischievous smile when he greets the queen, his emerald eyes sharpening to pin pricks whenever Vil speaks. You should’ve scolded him, reigned him back, but the guilt eating away at you made you hesitate. It didn’t help that Riddle, for all his perfect etiquette, suddenly seemed to forget what formalities and niceties were around the queen. The regal queen gives you a strange look as Trey sets down a plate of pastries a little too hard in front of him. Your gaze darts away as you sip the tea in front of you nervously, flanked by Ace and Deuce, their scowling faces too apparent.

They’re not dumb. Royals don’t visit other realms willy-nilly often. And it’s clear what Vil is here for.

The next day leaves you lethargic and sluggish, but you try to pull through, if only for appearances. While you stroll through the gardens with Vil, you try to avoid the burning stares of your guards behind you, no doubt dissecting each and every bit of your conversation with the queen. They pull you away as soon as the clock hits the afternoon hour, stating you had duties to attend to and so on and so forth. You excuse yourself and hope you don’t look like a mess to Vil, whose appearance is still immaculate despite the heavy winds and hot sun.

You try to focus on the stack of papers in front of you, despite the edges of your vision blurring and your head spinning. Taking the last sip of what remained of your tea, you squint uselessly at the words as Riddle murmurs something to your right about dinner and farewell banquets. The last thing you remember is the smell of chamomile and poppy flowers and the last document regarding international treaties. 

By the time you wake up from your ill-timed nap, it was midnight and it had been decided that you were too unwell to properly receive the fairest queen, and thus Vil would be sent back, to come back another time. Cater explains with a tight smile while Riddle nods along. Behind them, Trey pours another cup of warm milk and offers it to you with a sympathetic smile. You take it, despite the guilt threatening to swallow you alive. 

The days following are a haze of routines that you thought you once knew but couldn’t process. Nothing had changed, right? It seemed like you couldn’t recall what Trey made for you for yesterday’s tea, nor whenever Cater asked you for an opinion on his outfit. Before, you remembered the guards’ shifts to the letter, and yet, you completely forgot when Ace took over to guard you. Riddle smiles at you like usual, helping you with paperwork as usual, and yet…why couldn’t you remember what you had signed yourself?

Some nights you wake up to Trey or Cater, running their hands over you, despite the fact that they weren’t there before when you went to bed. Sometimes, it would be Ace and Deuce, bickering in hushed whispers before they shut up seeing you awake. And every time morning came and soreness set in your body, Riddle would greet your groggy face warmly, wiping away sweat and a strange stickiness that clung to your skin. 

The thought of marriage is erased from your mind, and slowly, but surely, you can’t remember why you thought of breaking apart the men who treated you so fondly. 

Perhaps you should have heeded the tales of those who ended up being puppet kings.

[honeybubbledivination]

What do you need to hear right now? 🍯🐝

✨ Hello, hello, busy bees! ✨

Today, I just felt like pulling some cards and seeing what happened! Below, I have some cards for you to choose from!

[At the end, I have my ko-fi linked if you’d like to donate! Not required! Just appreciated if you’re feeling generous!]

[Cards to choose from are from the deck ‘The Divine Masters Oracle’ by Kyle Gray and Jennifer Hawkyard’]

Pile One:

Isis - Calling Your Power Back

‘Grapejuice’ by Harry Styles “There’s just no getting through; without you…”

‘Angels On the Moon’ by Thriving Ivory “Don’t tell me if I’m dying, ‘cause I don’t wanna know; If I can’t see the sun maybe I should go…’

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: The Emperor, KnoC, 7oS, KoP, 6oP, QoP, 2oS, KoS, 10oC, The Empress, 2oW, The Magician, 7oW, The World, The Chariot, 9oS, Judgement, 10oS, The Devil, The Hanged Man, 4oC, KoC, The Hierophant, 4oP

‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Marie Masquerade //Glamour, intrigue, drama. Dried-Flower Fairy //Sweet Memories. Sea Storm //Calm amid chaos. Witch at the End of the World //An important end, a new beginning.

‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: Blood on the Moon, Star Gazer, Toad, Arcturus, Wolf Moon, Moon Stuck

Hi, Pile One! I feel as though I’m speaking to a peer. I’m 22, so you might be close to my age. Either that or you have a pretty youthful energy. I also feel a soft masculine vibe from this pile. Which leads into the reading. You know you don’t have to be all macho to honor your masculine side, right? Masculinity is about providing and strength. It’s not about being a massive dickhead. You can be ‘soft’ and still be a good husband and father. You aren’t a pansy or anything like that. I feel that you probably have family or friends who have more “traditional views”. But, no offense, they’re idiots. You’re uniquely you. You don’t fit into the boxes your social group tries to put you in, and that’s okay. To hell with them! Do what makes you happy, honey! Be you! You aren’t alone in not liking labels. You are human. You don’t have to be put into a box. Live freely. You may be highly sought after, but you aren’t making good friends or lovers. You have a very sweet air about you once you start to open up to people and most of those people tend to take advantage of you. You may want to pursue something in fashion or you might have a keen eye of what looks good and what doesn’t. You may tend to dress down to keep eyes off of you, but if wearing cute clothes makes you happy then do it! Who cares what anyone says! This is your life and you deserve to present how you want! Your new life will always cost you your old one. Don’t be afraid to let people, things, or situations go to move forward with who you truly are and what you truly deserve. Have the confidence to be who you truly are! And honestly, your family isn’t going to care that much. They’ll come around and truly just be happy that you’re happy. When you feel good about yourself, you do better in life. You have the ambition to go after what you want and take it. Plus, being a people pleaser is a form of manipulation. It’s not good to lie to yourself and in turn lie to others. Be mindful. You aren’t a bad person or less than for being ‘different’. You’re just you. And that’s exactly what you’re supposed to be, little bee!

- Bunny 💛🍯

Pile Two:

The Blue Beings - Light Transmission

Gold Rush - Taylor Swift “Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you…”

Permanent Vacation - Arrows in Action “I found my peace; In places I had never been…”

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: Judgement, The Lovers, The Fool, 3oP rx, 8oS, The Hierophant Rx, 9oP, 6oP, QoW, 10oP, The Wheel of Fortune, KoC, 3oC, 9oC, KnoP, 7oC, 8oC, 1oP, 5oP, 10oW, PgoW, 7oW

‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Sea Storm //Calm amid chaos. I Am Kali //From death comes rebirth. Fairy of the Divine Hand //Intoxication, distorted view, overindulgence! Snow Angel //The signs are with you already!

‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: New Moon, First Quarter, Esbat, Black Cat, Unicorn Moon, Glimmering

Hey, Pile Two! You’re living as your authentic self! Congratulations! I feel like this took you some time and you may have felt a little called to pile one at first. I see that you’re getting to go out and party and have fun with new people! Black cats might be significant to you. (I take them as good luck!) You’ve learned to keep friends close, but not too close. You have good boundaries with other people and how the interact with your life. But, do you have good boundaries with yourself? Yes, you’re having fun and making money. But, are you remembering to keep your limits in mind? Are you overindulging in sex, booze, or just staying up too late? Make sure you’re still focusing on how to make yourself feel good, without getting lost in it. I’m so proud of you, though! I know it’s hard to find the balance, especially when you’ve only recently learned you DESERVE to feel good about yourself and have fun. But remember to reel it in and relax sometimes. You don’t have to go, go, go. And you don’t have to be lazy or greedy either. Just find balance in all that you do! Great work on choosing yourself, Pile Two!! To add a little treat for all your hard work and continued efforts to better yourself, you seem to have love offers coming in! That’s right! You’ve got options! I feel like you’ve been manifesting them (through prayer or just having something like a Pinterest board with relationship ideas and goals). They’re on their way! Keep yourself in check to be the best version of yourself for YOU and how you want to handle these new love offers!

[P.S. you don’t need as much confirmation as you think! Start trusting yourself more, busy bee. You’ve made it this far all on your own, why have still doubt yourself?]

- Bunny 🍯💛

Pile Three:

Hanuman - Devoted Warrior

Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie “Pressure, pushing down on me; Pressing down on you…”

Take Me To Church - Hozier “I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies; I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife…”

‘Tarot of The Divine’ by Yoshi Yoshitani: The Magician, The Tower Rx, 8oW, The Lovers, The Devil Rx, 2oC, PgoP, The Moon, The Empress Rx, 3oS, 7oS, 4oS, KoS, 5oC Rx, 6oC Rx, 9oS

‘Oracles of Shadows & Light’ by Lucy Cavendish and Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Autumn Is My Last Chance //Please don’t lose hope! Strangely Lonely //Holding on way too tight. Witch at the End of the World //An important end, a new beginning. Fairy of the Highlands // It’s time to be brave.

‘Moon Magic’ by Marie Bruce: Sky God, Nightshade, Toad, Star Gazer, Full Moon, Moon Dust

You’ve been through the wringer, pile three! I see that you’ve been put in a situation to where you’ve had to pull away from a toxic situation involving a feminine energy who wasn’t reciprocating what you were giving them. This was really hard for you because you’re loyal and devoted. You would never turn your back on someone you love, but they turned their back first. You avoided a tower moment by stepping away and being firm in yourself and your morals! You aren’t a bad person, you just know when it’s time to cut the crap and leave people behind! Way to go!! I see that because of being able to cut this person out, you’ve made room for someone new! Don’t be afraid to open up and make new connections! Not everyone is here to use you, honey bee! You’ve cut off a lot of people lately or are at least hiding away to try and keep yourself safe. It’s making you lonely and you’re looking at things from a hopeless perspective. You are worthy of good things, love. Release control of what’s happening. Realize you have fought hard and deserve to relax and unwind. You can have fun with other people! Go on dates! Make friends with people online or in person! Go have fun! Get out of the house and go for a walk, you never know who you might bump into! Stop playing it too safe, pile three! Live your life! If you hide away, you’re still letting that old person and their energy have control over you! Remember who is really in control here! Keep buzzing onwards and upwards!

- Bunny 🍯💛

💛🍯 Bunny’s Notes:

Thank you for buzzing by! I hope that if this resonated with you, you gain the courage to keep being yourself and finding the balance of when to act defensively or when you should turn away from things/people/situations that no longer serve you! Love and light to you all!

If you’d like to tip me, below is the link to my ko-fi! Not needed to enjoy my readings! Thank you so much, busy bees! 💛🐝

[fredwkong]

Genie: Marcus’s Wishes

Click here to see the genie’s first master.

Marcus wasn’t your average jockboy. In school, he had been the class queer, marked for bullying because of his femme interests and gay voice. Worse, because he was one of the only Black kids. At university, he’d caught the iron bug and gotten huge, but kept the femininity, too. Nowadays, even with his powerful bod and handsome face, he still got dirty looks for his paisley shirts, peppy attitude, and swishy walk.

It was somewhere around 3 AM, and Marcus was feeling well and truly used. He hadn’t been topped like Mr. Peters had topped him in… he didn’t know how long. The Daddy dom’s husband, Lars, had told Marcus that the couple never double dipped on a guy, which sucked, but Marcus had more than enough wank material from this night alone to get him through.

Lars, still naked, followed the half-dressed Marcus to the living room. Mr. Peters was lounging on the balcony upstairs, smoking. Lars was giving Marcus the instructions for getting to the main street in his thick German accent. The other boys had left a few hours ago to catch the last busses home.

Something caught Marcus’s eye in the dimly lit room. A glint of light off of brass, an old, traditional lamp sitting next to Mr. Peters’ humidor. “What’s that?” Marcus asked.

Lars looked at the lamp like he’d never seen it before. “Some object of Daddy’s,” he grunted. “You like it?”

“It’s beautiful.” Marcus was living in his own place for the first time, and he was starting to decorate. He drifted over and lifted up the lamp. He could base a whole room off of its aesthetics.

“Take it.” Lars waved away Marcus’s half-made protestation. “If Daddy thought it was important he would tell me,” said the German model. “It clashes with our decor.” He moved closer, and growled in Marcus’s ear, “You deserve a present for being such a good slut.”

An hour later, Marcus crashed into bed, not bothering to undress or unpack his bag, leaving the lamp in his gym duffel.

The next morning, he woke up late and made a protein shake for breakfast. As he chugged it, he pulled the lamp out of his bag. Held it up against different spaces in his apartment. It would clash with the Britney poster in the bedroom. Ditto for the Barbie display in his office. He settled on the entryway. He could get a pedestal for it and make an Arabian nook or something.

There was some kind of stain on the side of the lamp. Grabbing a hanky, Marcus started to rub it, but was interrupted as the lamp slid from his grasp and released a cloud of rainbow smoke. When it cleared, a burly Arabian man in a thong and a slutty stringer tank stood in Marcus’s apartment.

“Hey cutie,” said the genie. “Make me some wishes and I’ll get you hot.”

Marcus’s eyes caught on the genie’s ample bulge, and then he processed what he was being offered. In the second before he made his first wish, all he could think was masculinity. There was a corner near his apartment where Hispanic men gathered to shoot the shit in their jeans and tank tops. Their manliness was effortless, totally unstudied, what Marcus had dreamed of being in his childhood.

“I wish I was more manly, like a Latino guy.”

“Got it,” said the genie, with a snap of his fingers. “One Latino meatlover, coming right up.”

Marcus found himself surrounded by a cloud of orange smoke. It smelled like sweat and spices, and Marcus found himself inhaling it deeply. The scent blazed a trail through his mind, and Marcus started to think in Spanish rather than English. His university education vanished, replaced by the foundation of his own landscaping company at 18, and all the hard, manual labour involved in maintaining and building yards for rich, lazy white people.

At the same time, the smoke pumped up Marcus’s big Black muscles further, and lightened them to a sun-kissed tan. His hair straightened and retracted partway into his scalp, leaving him with a simple, masculine haircut. His dick and balls expanded, and the extra testosterone threw his already ripe armpits into overdrive, filling the room with the smell of his sweat. Finally, the last of the smoke thickened into threadbare white briefs, tight jeans, and a tighter tank top, an outfit fit for the masc Latino guy Marcus was becoming.

The genie snapped his fingers once again, and Marcus’s apartment became Marco’s house, a one storey bachelor pad full of thrifted furniture, hand-me-downs, and Marco’s curated selection of Tom of Finland prints hung on the walls.

Marco looked around with satisfaction, his big, callused hands on his hips. “Buen, cabron,” he told the genie in his deep, firm voice. “I need to go work now.”

“See you tomorrow, hermoso,” said the genie, vanishing back into the lamp that sat on Marco’s living room dildo shelf.

During the day, Marco drove his pickup truck to the office, maintained the lawns for some clients, and handled everything it took to run his own business. He hadn’t done great at school—too busy working so his mami could rest—but once he’d founded the business he’d discovered a knack for accounting, so he sat in his air conditioned office to do paperwork while his college boy employees worked through the heat of the afternoon.

Well, he finished the work in an hour and spent another two sniffing his spicy pits while he tugged his thick cock.

After work, Marco drove home, checked his immaculate front and back yards for anything that needed maintenance, and fired up the barbecue. He didn’t realise he had cooked for four until he sat down at the table with a mountain of meat and no one to feed.

The next morning, Marco summoned the genie bright and early with his second wish. “I wish I had some amigos to share the evenings with.”

“Aww, you could have just asked,” the genie cooed, and blew Marco a kiss as he vanished, sending a heart-shaped orange smoke ring to hit Marco in the face with the scent of musk and spice. When nothing seemed to change, Marco shrugged and loaded up his truck for work.

At the first client’s house, Marco dealt with the usual white housewife cooing over his big muscles and blue-collar masculinity with a roll of his eyes. But then the woman’s son, a lean twunk home for the summer, stumbled down the stairs for coffee. He glanced at Marco, who was setting up the lawnmower, and saw a flash of orange light as his nostrils filled with the scent of the Latino’s musk, and his mouth with the flavour of unwashed Latin cock.

As Marco packed his truck back up, the twunk stepped shyly up next to him. At first, he asked the usual questions about Marco’s gym routine, but then Marco raised his arms, showing his hairy pits and releasing a cloud of fresh, sweaty musk, and the white boy seemed to swallow his tongue. He handed Marco a paper with his number on it and fled.

It was the same with every client that day. At some point while he worked at each house, a cute young white boy would walk up and hand Marco his number. Some were little femme twinks, others buff jocks, and a couple were cute hairy cubs. All were shy, pretty, and lived in the rich neighbourhoods Marco worked in. While he was in the office that afternoon, Marco was so busy talking to all his new boys that he fell behind on the accounting.

That evening, Marco’s house was full of the voices of hot young guys. They filled the dining table, the couches, and the patio Marco had built with his own hands. Marco barbecued to his heart’s content and wandered among the boys with his own plate. As he greeted each new boy, Marco instinctively pulled them in for a firm kiss and grope, then said “Hola, mi chiquita.”

As the night went on, the boys got rowdier and hornier. The rich, potent smell of Marco’s musk and the genie’s magic filled the rapidly heating space, and Marco found himself on his bed in a happy pile of rich white boys desperate to sniff and lick him all over. Just at the stroke of midnight, the genie heard Marco, facefucking a little twink while some jocks and cubs worshipped him, mutter, “I wish I could see myself fuck this little gringo.”

A blast of magic suffused every corner of the house with musky orange smoke. When it cleared, Marco’s bed was surrounded by film cameras, taking different angles as he shoved his thick Latin dick into the white twink’s throat. In the spare room, two of the nerdier boys sat naked at monitors and called shots for the stream. Each room had a camera setup, including a hidden corner on the patio and a secluded bower in the garden.

Once he was done with the twink and a sweaty musk worship session with a couple of jock boys, Marco got dressed for bed in a pair of stained white briefs and turned to camera one. “That’s all for tonight, gringos,” he told his viewers in an playfully thick Spanish accent. “Come back tomorrow once I’m done working hard on your lawns.” He fondled his pouch, and the stream cut.

As Marco stood by the door, kissing his boys goodbye, one young lad caught sight of a weird lamp sitting next to Papi Marco’s dildo collection.

Idea with inspiration from a chatbot of my own creation.

Click here to see the genie’s next master.

Click here to see all the genie’s adventures.

[the--artist]

I just wanted to rant about how much I love Kai’s balance between masculinity and femininity.

**Slight spoilers on Kai’s backstory and YTTS fondness events

It’s pretty obvious that Kai is pretty feminine. His beauty is described as having the “beauty of a woman”, mistaken as a woman (Kanna literally slamming on to his chest!), and enjoys being a traditional housewife.

However, when speaking to him, his masculine side becomes more apparent. Kai wears traditional masculine clothing and is very determined that people treat him as a man. His build, while slender, is still masculine as well.

I love how both of these sides showcase a man tormented with being a blood-shedding, strong assassin (arguably a traditional masc side) to his true personality of enjoying necklace making and yoga (more feminine compared to an assassin). In some ways, his appearance battles what he is supposed to be, with who he actually is.

Even in his earlier days when he was completely in control at ASU-NAURO, his hair is shown as more shorter, and when he completely defects (present), his hair is longer. In a way, his hair and femininity is shown as path forward to what he actually wants. Even in YTTS, when he isn’t controlled by ASU-NAURO at all, we see the more fem aspects of him shine (his cooking show competition), and in YTTD, his long hair is shown to an already traitor Kai of ASU-NAURO.

Kai has a really good balance of masculine and feminine characteristics. Although I feel like I can list more of his feminine characteristics by number, his masc side truly does shine in the main game.

His appearance is so purposeful and powerful that I had to write this…

[bookshelfdreams]

do it. gimme the Izzy straight-coded meta 👀

I feel like I need to preface this by saying that Actually, Izzy Is Straightcoded would be the inflammatory clickbait title I'd give this if it were written to draw traffic & ad revenue to my shitty website. So don't take that term too seriously.

There has been a lot of ink spilled about Izzy thinking he's in a story where one can only be subtextually queer. Some even by yours truly, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. What would be the purpose of queercoding Izzy?

In general, villains* aren't queercoded to show that men being attracted to other men is bad. It's often the outcome; but it's not why the trope exists. It exists because cishet people tend to be (and are encouraged to be) profoundly uncomfortable with gender nonconformity, and so, making a character gnc becomes a quick and easy way to make him appear twisted and untrustworthy. If he** can't even obey the fundamental rules of his own gender (rules that are inherent and unchangeable!) what other rules does he disobey?

Or: If a man is insufficiently masculine, he can't be trusted to have morals. The villain isn't gnc because that's an evil trait to have; rather, the gender nonconformity is a symptom of his evilness. Being evil is what enables him to embrace his feminine side, and embracing his feminine side is what others him and marks him as a villain.

This only really works when he's contrasted with a hero (or heroine) who is Doing Gender Correctly. The villain is foul to highlight how good the hero is. The Hero will be honest and straightforward, brave, physically powerful; the Queercoded Villain treacherous, cowardly, and physically weak. The hero is a Proper Man, a Good Person. The villain an Improper Man, and therefore, a Bad Person.

Of course ofmd fundamentally rejects this. The shorthand wouldn't work, because ofmd simply doesn't think effeminacy is creepy. It's uninterested in moralizing self-expression; it just lets people be how they are. There's a wide range of expressions of masculinity on this show, and none of it is inherently bad. People are allowed to be hypermasculine, flamboyant, and anything inbetween, can express their gender in whatever manner they want, and it's all fine - as long as they are authentic about it. Be however you are, but be yourself, and this is what Izzy fails at. The repression marks him as a villain. The strict adherence to what he thinks a Real Man Pirate ought to be like. He's very preoccupied with enforcing a traditional (and toxic) masculinity on himself and others. It's no coincidence the characters he antagonizes the most - Stede and Lucius - are also the most effeminate ones. And I know, I know anglophones have a much more casual relationship to twat and cunt, those don't nearly feel as uncomfortable for y'all as they do for me, so I don't want to assign too much significance here, but he is the only character who constantly uses this kind of language, and also the one who uses the most gender&sexuality based slurs (as far as I remember).

All of this while being clearly, obviously queer himself! I do not feel like I need to explain this; his flustered reaction when Lucius asks him if he's ever been sketched speaks for itself. The fact that he meets Stede and immediately slices his shirt off of him, speaks for itself. And so on.

Izzy isn't straightcoded in the sense that the story wants us to believe he's exclusively attracted to women. Much like a queercoded villain doesn't need to be shown to be attracted to men (and can even be shown to be attracted exclusively to women!) to still be queercoded. He's straightcoded in the sense that he's a stand-in for restrictive and toxic gender roles that society enforces on people. He buys into the idea that there's a way of Doing Gender Wrong, and this is presented as a tragic character flaw. Something he has to overcome to be able to do the thing that actually marks a hero in this show: express himself authentically.

Part of why I found his death so moving is because it enables him to set right the toxicity he spread. His rehabilitation arc was about himself; about finally allowing himself to be, accepting love, accepting community. His death was about taking responsibility. About fully recognizing the hurt he caused. Looking death in the face enables him to finally abandon the last shreds of that toxicity, to apologize and be granted forgiveness. In the end, he was not beyond saving, and the harm he has done will be healed.

*Izzy is introduced as an antagonist to both Stede and the central romance of this romcom. I'm not gonna debate this; if you disagree, fine, but you clearly have such a fundamentally wrong different view of the show that it's pointless for us to try and convince each other.

**of course Queercoded Female Villains exist s well, but they are a whole different can of worms and less relevant to this discussion

[musicalmoritz]

Though on genderswap Mitsukou? What would their characters belike both appearance and personality wise?

Yuri Mitsukou!! I love this question

So awhile back I posted smth like “no fem4masc Yuri Mitsukou it has to be masc4masc” which like. I don’t really agree with anymore. I like that in canon one of them is feminine while the other is masculine and it’s not really done in a stereotypical way. Fandoms make a really big deal about people feminizing male characters- and for good reason, it does happen a lot. But that gets taken to the point that they end up unintentionally reinforcing traditional gender roles. “How dare you draw that man in a skirt” or “that male character would never cry.” It’s also weird to me that I never see the same defense given to female characters being masculinized, so it ends up feeling like a lot of fans just hate femininity. So when a male character is feminine and seemingly likes masc dudes but has one of the loudest personalities in the manga, I think it’s pretty neat. Ofc there are fans that are weirdly against calling Mitsuba feminine but I already blocked most of them so idk what they have to say

(I could talk more in-depth about how fans are so worried about feminizing Mitsuba that they erase all the soft parts of his personality and make him one-dimensional but I’ll hold my tongue)

However, with fem!Mitsuba things are usually portrayed differently. Since dude Mitsuba’s initial conflict was being bullied for looking like a girl, most people say that the reverse would be girl Mitsuba being bullied for looking like a dude. This is fine but we also have to keep in mind that the entire gag of Mitsuba’s character is that he looks feminine but has an unfiltered personality, based on his looks you would never expect him to act that way. So if girl Mitsuba looks boyish, does that mean her personality would be super soft and delicate?? Because, yeah Mitsuba does have a soft side but not in that way, and it’s not at the forefront of his personality. Plus girl Mitsuba could still get bullied for looking too feminine, internalized misogyny is very much a thing

However, at the end of the day it really depends on personal preference so I’m not at all bashing either depiction of fem!Mitsuba. I go back and forth over which one I like more. Gender themes are a pretty big part of how I write Mitsukou so it’s hard for me to imagine that switched up, but it’s also incredibly interesting to think abt. All in all I like to keep fem!Mitsuba looking androgynous, maybe she has a boyish face but still dresses very feminine. Or maybe she has a girly face but dresses very masc. It’s one of those things I like a variety of interpretation on. For this I say she keeps the same hair length and pink cardigan but wears the girls uniform. So like yeah she basically just looks the same

As for Kou, those of you that read my wlw Kou//Nene fic should know that masc girl Kou is actually everything to me. A lot of fans sort of flip their gender presentations when gender bending them- Mitsuba becomes masc and Kou becomes fem. That’s totally great if that’s what you like but for me personally Kou is gonna be wearing Old Spice. I like to imagine her hair a tad longer in the back, like a choppy version of the Bisexual Bob. She wears some type of hoodie over her uniform the same way canon Kou wears a t-shirt under his uniform. The hoodie is blue btw (gotta incorporate the lore from my mtsk fics)

I feel like their personalities and dynamic would stay mostly the same! Maybe make them a bit clingier the way female friendships are but they’re already pretty clingy in canon lol. I do wonder if Kou’s flaw of not being able to open up about his feelings properly would change due to gender socialization. But many women (including myself) have that problem too so I think it would stay the same. She might be able to open up to Teru or Yokoo and Satou better but she’d still struggle to admit when she’s feeling overwhelmed. I could see her not being the type to tell someone how she’s feeling until all those emotions have built up for months. That’s how I’ve seen the whole “can’t talk abt your emotions” problem present itself in women. And men tend to only feel comfortable opening up to their romantic partners, which is something we very much see with Mitsukou in canon. But with fem!Kou, if Yokoo and Satou were girls two they would probably encourage her to talk abt her feelings rather than just being like “let’s give him a task to distract him” (which is fine too, men have different ways of comforting their friends)

Thank you for this ask!!

[taric]

im gonna be crazy for a sec. im dissecting zoro and sanjis genders.

zoro and sanji are so interesting to me. the two of them seemingly embody two different types of masculinity from two different perspectives, one of them being blinded by it, and the other being disillusioned to it. zoro's traditional, almost toxic masculinity, underlies a discomfort with the self in a picture of typical masculinity, yet he still inserts himself into it - and sanji's charade thereof implies he would rather be anything but, yet feels trapped in it like a cage. there's something distinctly trans flavoured for both of them, with zoro's feeling like a transmasculine bastardiation of what a "man" is supposed to be - it would make sense why him being told "women are weak" "women can't be swordsmen" makes him so upset, and why he never really has an answer for the "you were born a man" thing, since he really wasn't. he came unto the role early in his life and lived as such for as long as he could, and wound up down a bad streak of manhood. this streak is one that he can't fully understand how he wound up in, since he has the perspective of both sides, yet he only feels validated when performing to the utmost stereotype of a "strong man." zoro has snuffed out all femininity within himself, and has essentially blinded himself to that which once was. and with sanji, it's almost the opposite; you can already sort of tell traditional masculine roles don't fit him, and yet he performs most of them all the same just due to his upbringing, and the fact that he seems almost scared to be anything but masculine. his almost feels closeted. his own femininity is present, but often sidelined in favour of what others would want to see of him - and he does so because he cares, almost too much, about others. he is afraid of changing, since so much has happened to him already. so he almost has to play this balancing game, of what he wants and what others want of him. it probably weighs on him pretty deeply, yet his care for others mandates that he acts in accordance to what others see, not what he feels in himself. he has repressed that which makes him feminine for the most part. they both almost mirror each other, despite being on different paths; i feel their interpretations of their selves make for good foils for one another.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

You wrote "A big part of pulling free from expectations put on women is by breaking genderstereotypes, which leads to men being able to wear dresses, makeup, heels without being mocked for it because everyone should be able to present themselves in a way that makes them comfortable & happy." OK. But that's not attractive. I'd never fuck or be in relationship with a man who's not masculine. And people like you are erasing masculinity by promoting this mindset. I need traditional, masculine men in life. Because I'm a feminine woman. Men should be happy to be men, and live in their masculine energy. Men are mocked for being men in today's messed up society. That's why we need people like Jordan Peterson and other positive influences to lead them to the right path.

If you're attracted to masculine men, I'm gonna tell something that's very important. Listen up:

GOOD FOR YOU

I genuinely do not care.

Your preference and tastes are your business and like cool man. I'm not trying to dictate your life. Your life is your life. (Obviously as long as it isn't hurting others;) You deserve the freedom to be who you like, act how you like and well do who you like ;)

...get it.... ?

Understand that everyone should be extended the deceny and humanity to be who they want to be ? (Adding this again, because I know you're just the type of person who'd jump through hoops to twist this into saying I'm excusing like mass murder or whatever: as long as it isn't hurting others)

So once again;

Understand that everyone should be extended the deceny and humanity to be who they want to be ? Even men?

If a man wants to be "traditional" then sure cool good for him. If he wants to wear a cute little dress then sure cool good for him. It's not up to anyone else to dictate that choice. Definitely not you and me.

Girl if you like 'em traditional then go find a traditional man. Surprise, Surprise they still exist. They're not some endangered species or whatever you think is happening. I'm not out here hunting them for sport. Coming and complaining to me won't help. If you can't find a traditional man then I think that speaks about some problem from your end not mine :/

Okay but I love how I said that everyone should be able to be "comfortable and happy" in their own skin and you immediately followed that by "OK. But that's not attractive." !?!?!?!??! DUDE!?😂😂😂😂😂😂

Men (and anyone really) aren't just inanimate objects whose sole purpose for existence is to be attractive to you. They deserve to be comfortable and happy even if you don't find them attractive.

That's like someone saying they have a preference for I dunno blond men or whatever? And then believing every man in the world should dye their hair blond just so they'd appeal to that person.

....do you see how unhinged that is?

...how much of a dick move that is?

Maybe that's why you seem to be having trouble finding a traditional man🤔

Sorry! Sorry! That was below the belt. But I dunno a person's chances of getting a date usually shoot up when they're not blatantly an asshole. When they're not putting their partner's sex appeal to specifically them above said partner's happiness & comfort....

Here's my question, I'm an Obey Me! blog right?

How the fuck did you get here? "Traditional" men really are an extinct species in that game😭 did you get lost? are people putting hits out on my name? sending you in here? like genuinely how did you end up here?

Also side note, because I find it really interesting; the characteristics of "traditional men" and "traditional masculinity" has a tendency to change between culture & time. It doesn't really change the flow of our conversation because that's not really the point of it, but it's something interesting to read about if you wanted

Okay well, good luck I guess ❤️✌️

[isabelleneville]

What do you mean with Anne boleyn was the only wife who only wife who had a masculine side to her relationship with Henry?, I dont doubt you im just curious esp since I know that at least some of the other wifes did also from my pov lean into a more masculine side now and then.

I want to preface this with I am not diminishing Anne's femininity, she was very feminine but knew how to use her masculine side too.

In the list of Henry's ministers and their influence, we clearly include Anne in between Wolsey and Cromwell with some coinciding of More, and this is for a large period of time. Anne clearly was able to occupy the masculine sphere and act independently with the same freedoms as one of Henry's male chief ministers would. Even when Wolsey was in his final glory days and in his descendency Anne was privy to conversations between the King and his then chief minister while slowly becoming his successor.

When I said that initial comment, Anne was the only wife Henry initially had no qualms about occupying and allowed and fostered this masculine side of Anne to be present until the full ascendence of Cromwell where the traditional norm went back in place of Henry's wife and minister being two separate roles.

After all, there is also a lot of masculine iconography and objects that are associated with how Henry treated Anne in her rise as Queen Consort, she was created a peeress in her own right with a title related to his paternal line not his maternal line (and we can see both the feminine and masculine versions of the title were used), she was crowned with St Edwards Crown and St Edwards Chair something only King Regnants were allowed to use.

Yes, other wives may have occupied a masculine side but as you said now and then, and arguably when either Henry was away with the wife at the time acting as regent or when they were in Henry's very very good books. None as long as Anne was and not as successfully without outer influences, part of this was she was able to balance Henry's feminine side as well while still making him feel like a man (an awful sentence I know I apologise).

Now, his most favourite wives arguably from my POV were Jane after her death and Kathryn Howard before her downfall who wholly occupied the more feminine spheres of the era one being the perpetual mother and the other being his jewel of womanhood. Henry only wanted his wives after Anne to occupy the feminine.

[lord-radish]

I made a post about rarepairs on another website the other day. That led into a more in-depth thought about shipping and stuff which I'll turn into another post, right now I just wanna be cringe and share my goofy underappreciated ships.

I'll start with the more wholesome one. It's a ship between Tekken characters - Lili de Rochefort and Leo Kliesen.

Lili is an aristocrat from Monaco with a long-standing rivalry with another character, Asuka Kazama. Leo is an interesting character, they were introduced to be intentionally androgynous and their gender presentation has flip-flopped over the years. Harada has apparently said that Leo is AFAB, but they've also been called "he" a bunch of times by canon sources and the current stance is that Leo's gender is entirely up to the player. They can wear multiple pieces of gender-locked customisation gear, and in Tekken 6 they were prey to both male and female grabs. There's a convincing case for Leo being a trans man, though I hem closer to nonbinary.

So my ship headcanon is that Lili's in a weird place regarding her rivalry with Asuka. She's been raised rich and privileged, and she's not entirely comfortable with queerness? So thinking about queerness in relation to herself has this weird dissonance to it. She's in denial and she's not ready to face the question.

So she's at a ball or an event or something, and she's swept up by this charming German guy named Leo. They dance, they eat, they have a good time - and from there they start seeing each other. Leo's a dashing sort of fella and they go on a bunch of dates.

Eventually, Leo tells Lili that they're non-binary. Lili needs some time to think about it - they continue the date, because Lili still really likes Leo, but it comes back to that homophobic upbringing and that dissonance she feels about her sexuality.

It takes a little while. She never really stops seeing Leo - she's a bit distant, but she wants to move through it because she likes them and being with them makes her happy. She thinks about it a lot, writes it down, really evaluates her relationship with Asuka and hones in on the ins and outs of all that - and she comes out the other side realising her attraction to masculine and feminine qualities. She wouldn't mind dating a handsome fella, and she's attracted to women too. And while it's early days, she likes Leo. They're a handsome person, and they both cut quite a figure. What's not to like?

The next rarepair is much less wholesome and much less nuanced. It's another fighting game rarepair - Baraka and Skarlet from Mortal Kombat.

Baraka is the king of a monster race called the Tarkatans. He has big, sharp teeth and arm-blades, and his people capture and consume other species alive. They have traditions like the Flesh Trade and Meat Pits.

Skarlet is a blood witch:

Trust me, it was NOT EASY to find a GIF that was this tame. She uses blood weapons and blood projectiles, she rains blood, she uses her blood, the opponent's blood - seriously, this is the tamest GIF I could find.

So this is sort of a Peter Griffin/Lois situation, sure. It's not a "serious" ship in the same way I've thought out the Leo/Lili ship. But there is a jokey, kiiiiiiinda flirty line of dialogue between them in the pre-match banter? She says she misses Baraka's camps because blood is everywhere.

So this is more like, Skarlet wants blood from a stone and Baraka's just the guy to give it to her. He's crazy and stabby and brutal, and she'll like suck the blood out of a guy, turn it into a bloodsicle and pin him to the ground. I dunno, it's silly.

[lilliesforya]

Gender, the beach, and a club in Tokyo

Weekend of August 26th

In Japan,  the separation of men and women based on gender is 1. really innate and 2. really prominent. Relationships between the two polarized groups are limited to romantic ones for the most part, with platonic relationships (friendships) being sparse. This is not a judgment as much as it is an observation. It’s not common to see a divide this big based on gender in America and it’s even less common to have the reason for it be explained as intrinsic to people. In the states at least, there are multiple theories surrounding gender and gender expression, one of them being “essentialism” which is basically the idea that men and women have innate/fixed/ intrinsic/ distinct qualities about them that divide them. Examples are “women are naturally better caregivers than men” or that “men are better suited for physical labor” (https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803095846595)

It is not commonly believed anymore in a lot of places in America (who knows though) but a lot of the way gender is expressed in Japan strikes me as essentialist but also manages to bend the rules in a traditional sense. It is still common for women to be homemakers and be responsible for all of the duties in a home (including raising children) but nowadays they have to do this on top of usually having a job as well. Compared to what I’m used to seeing, women act much more feminine here- despite the vast differences in attire. Like women can wear traditionally masculine clothes and have short hair (in America this makes you masculine) and still be seen as women. I think this is because their identity as women is so baked into the gender of it all the presentation is not as strict. But I don't know. I don't understand enough Japanese to really know OR have a good enough knowledge on Japanese ideas of gender. Either way, it seems exhausting. I was told that men and women can’t really go out one on one without it being seen as romantic. There is a strong divide between girls and boys growing up and it doesn’t really become socially acceptable to mingle until college or right after it (when they are expected to date to get married). I feel like this can create a ‘transactional’ sort of feel in relationships between people of the opposite gender here- because they’re rarely allowed to interact simply to interact. It’s a lot to take in as someone who tries to be mindful of culture norms different from my own but is a firm believer in gender being more of a social construct and form of expression that shouldn’t limit anyone. What can you do or even say when the culture is permissible of misogyny and harmful gender norms and restrictions? I can’t think about it for too long without losing my mind a little. 

Gender, at the beach,,,, struck me in waves. I am lucky to be far enough into the countryside and close enough to popular beaches where I wasn’t the only one wearing a two piece swimsuit. The sun is unforgiving and without a friend's small umbrella, I would have been sunburnt even more than I was. And I was really sunburnt. Tops of my feet, shoulders, my face, the whole thing. The beach often makes me overstimulated. The sand everywhere, the everpresent sun, for the longest time I wore glasses and I could never see clearly. This time was no different besides me having contacts. Maybe it was that or maybe it was the being on the other side of the world with strangers who are showing me kindness or maybe both- that had me just sitting half on a blanket (that was covered in sand) and feeling that despite the sand and the sun, I liked the beach. I giggled at my friends comments and antics, I got to float around in the ocean (the waves are much calmer here). I enjoyed the day and thought the beach was where it was going to end. I had already driven the farthest I’ve driven that day and managed to find beach parking in someone's backyard (it was so New Jersey). However, that’s not where my day reached its peak. 

Some time later, but not enough time for what was about to happen, I found myself on a rapid train to Tokyo. I don’t usually do stuff like “agree to go to a club in Tokyo within hours' notice and the plan is to stay there the whole night and take the first train home”, but how could I not? I don’t see myself as a risk taker but not going would have haunted me and being haunted wins over fear. Alcohol and loud music also will take the place where anxiety is sitting. I think I’m doing a good job socializing and I was having fun (It would be clear if I wasn’t). The lights are bright and flashy in the dark room. The music is so loud and within an hour or two of arriving it becomes densely packed. I was still asked at least once an hour if I was okay or needed a break. Honestly? Fair points, I’m sure my facial expressions betray me. Plus, it feels nice to be worried over a bit. It did make me feel better when we linked hands to get through the crowds. Like our little group was not to be separated and our hands were proof! 

Women only had to pay 1000 yen to get in and got 2 free drink tickets (not the same for men,,,). I stay in the long line with my friends instead of going in through the ‘Ladies only’ one because alone I am very small and in a group I am normal sized. I get talked into putting my bag in a coin locker (good decision) but I feel naked with only my phone and wallet in my pockets. The first floor is anime music (maybe video games too I don’t know), the second floor is English pop/ party music, and the third floor is like the second floor except it’s remixed EDM. The first drink I get is fruity and I wish it was stronger. The second is way too sweet and I wish it was a vodka soda (American sized pour). The third drink is handed to me by a friend and I have no complaints (I think it’s the first one again). The men there are incredibly creepy in my opinion and their eyes are predatory before anything else. No one bothers me and the other girl I’m with much but every time someone tries, she spins me closer to her and away from the offender. The bonds between women in a club are sacred to me. It’s like even without language we all understand protecting one another from becoming prey. I think some people would interpret this attention as interest which is fine but it’s equally as interpretable as feeling hunted. I enjoy the EDM visuals on the third floor but the second floor’s music is preferable. I’m ready to leave around 4:15 am and that’s about when we head out. I have some of the best ramen I’ve ever had in a shop that we wait way too long in line for. The train ride home feels like forever. I got home around 8:45 am and slept until about 3:30 pm. The anxiety of trying is now a memory of togetherness. 

[dearestones]

Death Note Matchup: Amane Misa #2

Warnings: Fluff. 

@repostingmyfavs Request: Hi! If you not to busy I have a request, could you match me up with a death note charecter. Their gender doesn’t matter to me, I have a crush on literally all the characters in the franchise so.

I am 5’3. I dye my hair all the time! Currently, I am sporting hot pink as a hair color. I have a green eyes. I’m very pale. I can’t even go in the sun without coming out with a huge sunburn. I wear these black glasses. I tend to always be blushing.

I am gender fluid and bisexual. I tend to have trouble picking out what to wear because sometimes I wanna dress feminine, sometimes masculine and sometimes even neither or both. So my style can really fluctuate.

Yellow is my favorite color. I love to read, write, play video games and even cosplay. I’ve been told my smile can light up the days of others, so I try to smile a lot.

I tend to hide my feelings so I’m not a burden. I am very bubbly and energetic but also quite anxious and sensitive. I am easily taken advantage of for my kindness.

I tend to look on the good side of things. I love to give hugs, and not to brag but I give the best hugs.

Thank you so much! Take your time and don’t forget to eat and rest!

.

.

.

After going through the information given, I believe that you pair well with Amane Misa!

Oh my gosh, you’re taller than Misa! You’re still petite and cute, but Misa likes looking up at you and squishing your cheeks to grab your attention. Furthermore, she loves your style! Pink hair? It looks so good on you and she must say, your lovely blushing cheeks matches your hair quite well.

Don’t worry about your sunburns. Once Misa finds out that you have sensitive skin, she will immediately go to the nearest dermatologist, pharmacy, or wherever just so she can get you some heavy duty sunblock. In the interest of preserving your skin and keeping you healthy, she also suggests a skincare routine. Don’t worry, she’ll take into account your interests and the time that you have available to complete your routine. At the end of the day, though, you will see results and your skin will start glowing with your inherent beauty!

She may not show it sometimes, Misa can be mischievous. If you’re not paying attention, she’ll snatch up your glasses and start wearing them for fun. She thinks your glasses are cute and fits your personality.

Genderfluid? Ohhhh! Misa doesn’t understand at first, but after you explain it to her, she will be jumping up and down for joy. While her entire life is dedicated to upholding traditional beauty standards, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like experimenting and embracing new ideas. When she realizes that you like to be more masculine or more feminine at times, she immediately gets to work dragging you to different stores and malls just so you can get your full range of outfits. Misa didn’t grow up with money so she knows how to get the best deals!

On those days where you can’t choose between different ranges of styles, Misa will be there to help you out. You might feel like she’s a fashion critic, but she means well. Regardless of how you want to present yourself, you will end up looking your best and fashionable. 

Misa doesn’t get the appeal of video games, but she enjoys watching you play. Sometimes, she’ll sit in your lap with her head tucked against your chest or she’ll lay her head on your lap. Be sure to pet her hair or pat her cheeks every once in a while because she adores physical affection.

What Misa really loves about your hobbies is your cosplays! Can the both of you do a couples cosplay? Or maybe a cosplay of both of your favorite characters? She’ll help you pack for conventions and do your makeup if you aren’t able. (Please let her do your makeup. She’s artistically inclined and being in an intimate position like touching your face and combing your hair is cathartic and comforting for her). 

Smile for Misa. She loves it. Don’t be surprised if you find out that her camera roll has dozens of pictures of you smiling. She claims that it brightens up her day. (If you check her social media accounts, you can see that she doesn’t post about you often and when you ask her, she’ll selfishly declare that it’s because she wants to keep your smile for herself). 

Please don’t hide your true feelings from her. If there’s one thing she’s learned from past relationships and from romance novels, it’s that partners should be earnest and true to each other. Repressing emotions isn’t always a bad thing, but if you don’t have the proper, healthy outlets, you might end up doing damage to yourself and others. You don’t have to tell her right away, only when you’re ready. Please trust her, she’ll make sure to support you the entire way. 

You give the hugs and she’ll give the kisses! And yes, Misa can and will confirm; you do, indeed, give the best hugs. 

In conclusion, the both of you are quite cute together! Just be sure to tell Misa if you’re feeling overwhelmed; she tends to get carried away if you don’t intervene. 

.

.

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

DEATH NOTE MASTERLIST

[vamptastic]

it's been very cool being sort of openly GNC in jewish spaces and seeing positive change come from it. like none of it has been on purpose ive kind of just been obviously genderous since i hit puberty, even before consciously choosing to present as such. i don't go my days about expecting to be an Issue but it's worth it if things turn out well.

first time it happened i honestly didn't know it would be such a big deal but i asked for the traditional male gift (a kiddush cup) instead of the female one (candlestick holders) for my bar mitzvah and now they ask every new bnei mitzvah which one they want ahead of time. and also scrupulously call them bnei mitzvahs instead of bar/bat mitzvahs. which is actually kind of annoying bc it sort of takes the intent out of my use of masculine hebrew language and presentation when everybody does it regardless of gender, but it's overall positive so whatever. the unfortunate side effect of this is everybody things i did that as some sort of Statement and if they're annoyed by gender neutral language they assume it is due to my nefarious transgender demands and not just something that other people started doing because of my presence without me knowing or caring. i expect people will be slightly confused when i come out as a trans man because they probably assume i am some form of nonbinary as well.

second was really surprising. i went to an orthodox synagogue as a kid back in palm beach because they're way more kid friendly. on account of all the children. and after we moved my mom kept in touch and i still talked to the rabbi's daughters on occasion. anyway apparently the rebbitzen, who my mom is friends with, reposted some dumb article about a trans teacher who was fired (iirc for no reason other than being trans) and made some comment about how we shouldn't be allowed to work around children. my mom called her and told her about me and pointed out that i worked with small children for my entire teen years and they were not in fact molested or traumatized by me looking trans. and the rebbitzen genuinely listened and changed her mind and said she thinks it's okay for trans people to be teachers now. which was unexpected and really nice, both that my mom bothered and that somebody who seemed pretty deep into the conservative radicalization hole had some positive growth.

so idk, as annoying as it can be in the moment when i just want to do my thang and go under the radar, it's nice that me just being myself can make people that already liked me decide to be nicer about other trans people. harnessing the nice jewish boy status for good.

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

listen, i don’t know if this will reach anyone that could maybe give some advice or perspective but honestly i just need to like talk

long discussion (rant) about gender identity and how i am very confused below the cut

so i’m a bisexual woman and do not feel any distaste of being called a woman. i love it. i love girlhood and sisterhood, even with the challenges that come with it

that being said, i have been thinking about whether i might be non-binary? or like fluid in some regard?

so the reason i’m second guessing or really having a hard time thinking about this is that i know that gender presentation and gender identity are two totally different things, and they do not have to align with traditional norms. i do dress androgynously/more masculine and feel most confident in than clothing style, but that doesn’t mean i’m non-binary. another thing i’m struggling with is that i also, as i said before, really like being a girl and the sisterhood that comes with it (albeit after unlearning some internalized misogyny and i’m-not-like-other-girls thinking)

so then, why do i think i might be non-binary? again, a few reasons.

the main reason is that i’ve always struggled with body insecurities that i now look back and think may have been more accurately described as body dysphoria. having talked to other people about their experiences with puberty, i came to realize that my experience was not the same as other people i know (and at the time, i think i knew this a bit too). i hated every single second of it, to point that even saying the word “puberty” around me would send me totally spiraling and sobbing up until the age of like 15. you can imagine the lengths my parents had to go to try and help me through it and educate me.

growing breasts was awful. i hated having to think about my chest. i hated wearing bras, but i also hated not wearing bras because then you could see my nipples/boobs more. this is still an issue i have, but i didn’t really think about it until it hit me that i sometimes go out of my way to pick an outfit i can wear a sports bra with because it compresses my chest. i also do not have a big chest in the first place! i am an A-cup, and i still feel like this

on the flip-side, though. i also hated growing body hair and still hate that to this day. i was bullied on one occasion about my leg hair when i was 8 and it has stuck with me my whole life for some bizarre reason, so it might be in part a response to that? but having body hair is just not appealing to me. i’m hispanic and have some dark facial hair and i am getting laser hair removal in december for it because it’s been such a problem for me for so long. whatever, my point about this is that i associate giving a fuck about body hair (like not wanting to have any) to be a sign that i’m not non-binary because it’s such a like “feminine” quality, while not caring about having body hair is so much more how i have seen non-binary represented

one of my more recent (like last 5 years lol) insecurities that i feel like might also be dysphoria is my hatred for my hips and a real admiration of the male build. i’m mid-size (28-30) and strongly dislike showing off any curve. when i used to wear skinny jeans (lol), i had to pair it with a long cardigan or loose shirt. now that i’ve actually developed a sense of style, i love baggy jeans. barrel jeans are my current fav. anything that makes my hip-to-leg ratio not look so pronounced makes me feel so good. perhaps a contraction is that i like tight fitting tops equally as much as a love a good baggy tee. i really envy how shirts fall on men’s bodies. when the bottom of my shirt is long enough to fall at or below my hips, it is genuinely the worst. i hate how it bunches funny. the solution is cropped tops or tucking the shirt in… but i don’t feel comfortable in crop tops and sometimes tucking the shirt is not the vibe. i just want to fall so i look like a rectangle lmao. also shorts. i want shorts to be longer and looser and look of me how they look on men. short shorts are a no for me

my preference for androgynous/masculine clothing also feels like less of a preference and more of a need? i don’t know how to describe it the right way. basically, i’ve recently come to realize that the average person’s reaction to having to wear clothing that does not match their typical gender expression would not be to sob uncontrollably or be like wanting to not leave the house or crawl out of your skin. which is what i feel like when i wear clothing that to me feels too feminine. skirts. dresses. frill. sparkle. bright colors. any like funky sleeve (i realize that is very specific). certain neck cuts of shirts, like v-neck or scoop.

although the distaste for skirts and dresses didn’t hit until high school, i’ve had the other preferences since forever. my mom loves frilly clothes and i can’t tell you how many blow-out arguments we had when i was younger about her buying me something frilly or sparkly or bright and me just screaming and arguing about how much i hated it. if she made me keep it, i would never wear it. if i was forced to wear it for like a funeral or wedding or something, i would often throw a fit.

buying a prom dress was the absolute WORST. the process induced my first panic attack, and involved crying every time i tried on a dress. my poor mom and aunt were so patient. i really could not articulate what i didn’t like about the dresses. looking back, i think that because i didn’t have a sense of my style even in my regular day-to-day yet (thank god for college) and i had never once second guessed anything related to my gender, i could not myself even understand that i just didn’t like feeling so overtly feminine. it was overwhelming.

this is not to say that i never present more femininely in my day-to-day now. i do every once in a while, usually if i’m dressing up for an event or going out. i feel like it partially might be that i don’t know how to dress up while maintaining an androgynous look, but it also doesn’t bother me for those situations. that being said, the next day i always have a far swing into masculinity. baggy cargo shorts, my tightest sports bra, and an oversized tee shirt. i had a friend tell me one time i looked like a dad when i was dressed like this the day after a night out and i actually beamed. she thought it was kind of mean and apologized but i ate that shit up.

anyway, this is what’s been going through my mind a lot the last… 2 years maybe?

i feel like questioning for so long is an indication that i may be too, but i’m like so so fearful. am i trying to be trendy? am i just a woman who likes androgyny? i don’t want to feel like a fraud using she/her and they/them pronouns. can you identify as a woman and still use they/them? isn’t that inherently not what being non-binary is? am i more gender fluid, then? i feel no strong draw to any pronouns. my only feeling is that i would rather not be referred to with he/him, and also that i like being called a woman.

anyway

i’m very confused a need help from knowledgeable queer people. i have no older queer people in my life and i just don’t know who to talk to.

[freezeher]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖.

what they smell like? vanilla, patchouli, incense, & the florals in her shampoo.

how they sleep? she often goes to bed late at night/early in the morning whether it's due to being plagued by bad memories or whatever may be on her mind. when she finally does get to sleep, it's never for a full 8 hours & vivid nightmares ( or vivid dreams in general, but mostly nightmares ) are common. she likes to sleep with the window open if it's not too cold to wake up to birdsong, if she can.

what music they enjoy? ethel grew up on hymns, christian country/rock, & country music, but she takes a liking to rock, thanks to willoughby, as well as some folk type stuff & maybe some alternative. some artists she enjoys are fleetwood mac/stevie nicks, dolly parton, jeff buckley, etc.

how much time they spend in the morning getting ready? at most, half an hour to forty-five minutes from the time she gets out of bed to when she walks out the door. she lays out her clothes for the day the night before to cut time, most of which is spent on her hair if it's still long. after getting dressed & doing her hair, ethel has her morning coffee & a small breakfast, sometimes reading the paper or her book of prayers, maybe write in her diary. then, she does a light & simple face of makeup.

favorite thing to collect. bird feathers. she's always loved birds since she was small & keeps the feathers she finds taped into a journal, identifying which bird they fell from.

left or right handed? right.

favorite sport. nascar. watching it with her daddy makes up some of her better memories with him.

favorite touristy thing to do while traveling? she's never traveled...at least not in the traditional way, but i think she'd like to collect postcards.

favorite kind of weather. sunny, with a gentle breeze.

weird/obscure fear they have. prolonged eye contact or being stared at makes her paranoid & causes her to scratch at her skin.

the one carnival/arcade game they always win without fail. any of those games that involve a good aim with a gun. 

what do your muse’s hands feel like?  soft and warm, at times shaky.

what does your muse usually eat in a day?  her breakfasts are quick and small, usually consisting of farm fresh eggs with toast or bacon. maybe a bagel some days or some fruit. her lunch comes from packie's, the diner she works at, & her mama will cook dinner if she didn't cook breakfast that same day as her & ethel alternate who cooks what meal. it's not often she has 3 meals a day, though, as she doesn't eat when something is on her mind or she's upset.

does your muse have a good singing voice?  yes, but not many get to hear it. it sounds a bit like anna bates.

does your muse have any bad habits or nervous tics?  ethel has a habit of drinking her feelings as well as scratching as her skin when she's panicky; she'll also chew her lips or toy with any loose threads or buttons on her clothing.. 

what does your muse usually look like/wear?  ethel has many long, flowy skirts, either just below her knee or lower, dresses of the same length, & blouses. when in shady grove, she likes to look put-together so often times her clothes are simple and modest. she does, however, have some cut off shorts and t-shirts, some more revealing dresses or tops or skirts her mama doesn't know about.

is your muse affectionate? how much? how so?  not initially, especially around men or more masculine presenting people. at first, any affection may be stiff, quick, or awkward, but when ethel gets comfortable with a person she loves to be touching them in the simplest, most casual of ways. affection with these people makes her feel loved, safe, & grounded.

what position does your muse sleep in?  ethel sleeps on her side, sometimes with her knees pulled up, a hand under her pillow. 

could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room? maybe a little, as ethel's speaking voice is pretty soft spoken. if she's more comfortable with whoever is with her she won't try so hard to go unnoticed.

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

fantastic mr fox: humanising animals, animalising men, and an exploration of masculine identity

‘this story is too predictable.’ / ‘predictable? really? what happens in the end?’ / ‘in the end, we all die. unless you change.’

mr fox, the titular character of wes anderson’s 2009 stop-motion adaptation of roald dahl’s children’s book, is a portrait of two conflicting manifestations of masculinity. he is built to demonstrate the crossover between tradition and modernity, between wild and civilised. characterised as a charming gentleman, almost renowned for his recklessness, mr fox combines his undomesticated instincts with a carefully crafted domestic life. he appears to spend more time manufacturing a perfect home and family than he does actually participating in it. the events of the movie serve to strip away his facade and present both the audience and protagonist with a harsh reality to deal with: the juxtaposing aspects of his identity that he must contend with in order to survive his situation. these aspects are demonstrated through the use of anthropomorphic animals. in essence, the text attempts to convey the message that while you can associate your actions with animal or human traits in order to characterise and frame them, you cannot change their value and their consequences. it serves as a critique of how the nature of male identity is exploited to shunt responsibility, and the movie specifically promotes a more collectivist mentality.

there are four key scenes that mark mr fox’s journey in terms of his identity. initially, we first see his identity openly questioned once he has moved into a new home (a large and expensive tree), just prior to him revealing his ‘master plan’ to kylie, who becomes his assistant of sorts. he asks, ‘why a fox? why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? i’m saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? who am i? and how can a fox ever be happy without, you’ll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?’ he attributes his identity with the ability to fulfil his base desires, like he could in his youth. aspects of his later life such as employment, family, and safety restrict his ability and leaves him feeling untethered from himself. the movie opens with his youthful vibrance and recklessness, and is quickly contrasted with his dissatisfaction with his job, home, and life in general.

MR FOX

i dont want to live in a hole anymore. it makes me feel poor.

MRS FOX

we are poor, but we’re happy.

MR FOX

comme ci, come ca...

does anyone actually read my column?

having been moved out of the hole and into an expensive tree, mrs fox asks her husband:

MRS FOX

do you still feel poor?

MR FOX

less so.

constructing the ideal domestic space for himself and his family does not satisfy mr fox and he yearns for more, which is where is existentialism and ‘master plan’ come into play. domesticity was never going to satisfy mr fox, as he yearns for something youthful and risky and dazzling, adjectives not usually applied to a quiet and content home life. the consequences of this dissatisfaction are drastic and almost immediate.

soon, having been forced out of his new home and underground by an attack from the farmers, mr fox is faced with a situation he cannot charm his way out of. he attempts to apologise to his son and recite a speech to raise the morale of his family, and both of these attempts are shut down by those around him. the facade of his elaborate home, his monologues, even his suits, are abruptly stripped away leaving him with only his actions which he cannot charm his way out of. the reality is that he and his family, his neighbourhood, is stuck underground with no means of food as a result of his selfish actions. this prompts yet another key scene; his argument with felicity, which begins with her viciously hissing and scratching his face.

MRS FOX

why did you lie to me?

MR FOX

because im a wild animal.

MRS FOX

you are also a husband, and a father.

MR FOX

im trying to tell you the truth about myself.

MRS FOX

i dont care about the truth about yourself. this story is too predictable.

MR FOX

predictable? really? what happens in the end?

MRS FOX

in the end, we all die. unless you change.

mrs fox’s physical attack on her husbands face serves as a display of genuine animal ferocity, making mr fox’s claim to being a ‘wild animal’ appear as a flimsy excuse for his behaviour. his chicken theft, which he was insistent upon regardless of the consequences, was motivated not by animal instincts but a selfish desire to feel a particular version of his own masculinity. disregarding the safety of his family actually seems like a natural byproduct of his master plans because he is trying to reclaim his masculinity from a time before his family existed, and in his eyes, restricted him. the very recent loss of his tail, combined with this conversation with his wife, is a harsh reality check for mr fox in terms of the dangers of his masculinity.

the audience sees the outcome of this conversation later on, in the waterfall scene. here mr fox admits to his insecurities and suggests sacrificing himself to the farmers to save the local community.

MR FOX

darling, maybe they’ll let everyone else live!

…

MR FOX

foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey and outsmart predators, and that’s what im actually good at…i guess at the end of the day im just-

MRS FOX

i know. we’re wild animals.

the difference between this admission to animalism and the one from his argument with felicity is that here, both parties gain some acceptance of their animalism without using it as an excuse for their behaviour. the inclusion of others in animalism – ‘we’re’ wild animals, rather than ‘i am’ a wild animal – contributes to illustrate how wildness is not specific to masculinity. it is not femininity vs masculinity but animals vs man.

the movie also questions the nature of an animal in the final key scene known as ‘canis lupus.’ wes Anderson referred to this scene as ‘the reason im making this movie.’ throughout the movie, mr fox alludes to his ‘phobia of wolves’ and shuts down any conversation surrounding them:

MR FOX

scared? no, i have a phobia of them!...a wolf? what’s with all the wolf talk? can we give it a rest for once?

arguably, these reactions are representative of mr fox’s aversion to competitive masculinity. he shuts down any opportunity for those around him to discuss something he sees as more masculine than himself in order to feel secure in his own masculinity. critic shana mlawski argues that ‘the wolf is described as the wildest, most frightening, and yet most beautiful creature in the world. mr fox fears the wolf and yet wants to be exactly like him. we can thus say that mr fox fears pure, wild masculinity yet also yearns to own it himself.’ the scene holds an eerie familiarity to it; mr fox is recognising something that he thought would be a reflection of himself, but the wild animal is no longer familiar to him anymore. he now accepts his role as a husband and a father and no longer fights to overtly express his animalism in the same way as the wolf. the most he can offer the wolf is raising his fist in solidarity. he calls out to the wolf, ‘i have a phobia of wolves!’, which is an interesting moment to admit this in. it’s his acceptance that allows him to admit this. the scene is entirely compromised of male characters: mr fox, kristofferson, ash, kylie and the wolf. mr fox’s admission to his fear allows him to be vulnerable in front of these people he cares about, and to use this as a teaching moment for the young boys.

MR FOX

what a beautiful creature. wish him luck out there, boys.

here mr fox openly admits his admiration for someone else’s masculinity in front of others without showing signs of his own insecurity. he can admire the wolf for what he is without seeing him as competition. the scene allows the audience to see and directly compare two forms of masculinity and animalism, and to understand that there is no one true expression of either of those traits. the wolf has connotations of violence and ferocity, whereas mr fox and his suit and display of multilingualism are entirely modern, but both are masculine animals who are valid in their own right. either way, both animals rely on violence for survival at times.

kupfer frames violence in three ways: symbolically, structurally and as a narrative essential. there are various forms of violence within this narrative, namely mr fox killing chickens and squabs, and the three farmers’ attack on the animal community. symbolically, mr fox’s chicken theft is attributed to his masculinity. while it is often presented as thought-out ‘master plans’, his desire to enact this violence in the first place supposedly stems from his ‘wild animal’ instincts. he associates a time where he felt secure in his masculinity with his actions at the time (violence). structurally, we see the potential for this violence in the opening scene, where mr fox takes his wife chicken-stealing and they become trapped. he is stuck in a fox trap with his wife when he receives the news of his impending fatherhood, a relatively obvious symbol for his view of fatherhood in general. the news of his wife’s pregnancy disrupts his ability to continue stealing chickens, not just on this specific occasion but through the coming years as well. mr fox appears to view family life as an unfulfilling, less raw expression of his masculinity, and is shown to be wholly dissatisfied with his life.

the violence on the farmers’ behalf is almost always in reaction to mr fox’s violence, already giving it a structural framing. boggis, bunch and bean are referred to early on in the film as the ‘meanest, nastiest and ugliest farmers on the side of the river.’ their violence against mr fox and subsequently the local animal community is an attempt to gain back power and status. mr fox’s actions are “humiliating’ and the local news coverage of this exchange between the farmers and animals raises the stakes as now the reputation of these farmers is on the line as well as their power. violence here serves as a narrative essential because it drives mr fox into a situation that forces him to confront his issues with masculinity and splitting between his animal and human traits, giving the text/movie a fulfilling arc. violence is

introduced as inherently masculine, but is decoupled from masculinity by the ending. mrs fox also plays a small but significant role in this; at various moments in the movie she exhibits her own displays of aggression equal in intensity to the men around her, suggesting to the audience that forms of violence should be categorised as human vs animal rather than male vs female. examples of this behaviour include her clawing at her husband’s face, and a parallel between her and a male human character wherein they both connect two wires and shout ‘contact!’, causing an explosion. while this moment is brief, it highlights a distinct difference between animals being violent and men. humans’ aggression is driven by the need for power, whereas that of animals is driven by the need for survival. the man paralleled with felicity only sparked the explosion to destroy mr fox’s home and assert the dominance of the three farmers, while mrs fox used the same form of violence to enact a plan to save her nephew’s life. petey’s song even alludes to this sentiment: ‘well he stole, and he cheated, and he lied just to survive.’

mr fox’s tail becomes a symbol of power; bean wears it as a necktie, and mr fox feels emasculated by his loss.

MR FOX

one of those slovenly farmers is probably wearing my tail as a necktie right now.

…

BADGER

i cant even imagine how painful, even just emotionally, that must be for you… oh but foxy how humiliating, having your tail blown clean off by-

MR FOX

can we drop it?

the use of the tail as a necktie is a symbol of the power that mr fox and the farmers end up jostling to achieve: at first it belongs to mr fox, then to the farmers, and is eventually reclaimed once more by the fox.

MR FOX

you shot off my tail.

[through gritted teeth] i’m not leaving here without that necktie.

when he reclaims his tail towards the end of the movie, it has been torn to shreds and needs ‘dry cleaning twice a week’ to maintain itself. this can be interpreted as a symbol for his evolved definitions of masculinity and power: his masculinity is no longer defined by impressing people or stealing or killing chickens, but in the quiet satisfaction of having a family. the final scene reveals that mrs fox is pregnant again, and instead of her glowing and her husband giving an awkward grin like in the opening scene, both of the spouses ‘glow.’ the structural framing of these pregnancy reveals bookending the events of the movie allows anderson to demonstrate mr fox’s growth and change in his priorities. the domestic life appears to be enough for him, and he no longer seems to find it emasculating,

what stands out as particularly modern about mr fox is how he unconsciously separates himself from both his wildness and his suburban self in his effort to combine them. he uses his ‘wildness’ as an excuse for his violence and selfishness, but is ultimately not willing to participate in truly wild forms of violence and selfishness, such has hunting. his chicken thefts always include infiltrating a human site, like boggis, bunce and bean’s farms, and the fun of it is in outsmarting them, rather than finding those animals himself out in the wild. the local animal community essentially functions as we would expect a rural village occupied by humans to function: everyone knows everyone, there is one local school and various small and quaint homes. while the setting reflects anderson’s signature style, it is also reflective of dahl’s framing of the community in the original text.

mr fox comes across as an individual who believes himself to be above the somewhat backward mentality of his village, that he is the most civilised and dazzling and original, and he exaggerates these traits in himself out of insecurity: ‘if they arent dazzled and blown away and kind of intimidated by me, then i dont feel good about myself.’this is also reflected in his consistent ‘trademark’, his whistle-and-click combination that he uses to set himself apart from other foxes. his home is also a reflection of this:

MRS FOX

you know, foxes live in holes for a reason.

MR FOX

[grunts and tilts head in disagreement]

yes and no.

this insecurity and desire for outsider approval and individuality is inherently human, a quality of his that cannot really be associated with his animalised parts. this precarious sense of identity and self doubt separates him from his ‘wildness’ as it stands, which is only intensified by the fact that he compensates by exaggerating his human traits in order to be liked and feel worthy, as those are the traits he believes have the most value. towards the end of mr fox’s character arc, he is forced to admit that his need for external validation is flawed and unsustainable. when the façade of carefully constructed grandeur is literally washed away by bean, he is left with nothing but his actions and their implications for those around him. foxy reconciles with the relative insignificance of an identity based on other’s perceptions of you when rat dies soon after, reacting to the suggestion that he redeemed himself last minute by revealing ash’s location:

MR FOX

redemption? sure. but in the end, he’s just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a chinese restaurant.

this moment is also used to inadvertently allow the audience to evaluate the significance of motivation and intention to the value of an action. although rat did reveal useful information to aid the group in saving Kristofferson, mr fox recognises that he only did so because he realised he could not win this fight.

MR FOX

would you have told me if i didn’t kill you first?

RAT

never.

mr fox’s own motivations throughout the movie have devalued his actions as they have mostly been self-serving. as his motivations evolve to centre around his family, he gains the perspective to understand why one’s intentions are so important. while intention does not entirely dictate how good one’s actions are, they certainly characterise the person who’s action it is. your actions have value and consequences as they are, and that cannot be changed by dressing them up or animalising them to distance yourself.

in essence, fantastic mr fox is a lesson in the value of including those around you in your mentality and worldview. it paints masculinity as something that is inherent and complex in nature, but promotes the idea that it is not stuck with its traditional connotations of violence and egoism. mr fox’s emotional development throughout the text mostly centres around his own insecurities surrounding his masculinity and how that causes him to overcompensate in ways that harm those around him. by the end he recognises that more tame and domestic forms of masculinity are just as valid, and that basing his self-worth on how ‘dazzled’ his peers are by him is immature and not constructive. his family now liberates him and allows him to be vulnerable rather than restricting how he feels he can express himself, and as a unit the animals beat the farmers in their game of power-seeking. mr fox recognises and appreciates both his human and animal traits, without using them as a means to excuse his behaviour or to feel bad about his worth.

MR FOX

i guess my point is, we’ll eat tonight, and we’ll eat together. and even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals ive ever met in my life. so let’s raise our boxes – to our survival.

i.k.b