#and the only thing thats gonna get me through work (besides some of my fav coworkers workin

[mirkwoodshewolf]

IATCOD Chap. 24; The siege of Gondor

*Author's note*

So after a couple of days this chapter was finally able to come together. I apologize in advance if the battle sequence towards the end as well as the ending feels rushed but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.  Now idk when I'll update the next chapter since my vacation time is over and I'll be going back to work, then my work will transition into new work hours so idk how my updating schedule will be like but I'll try to get the next chapter done as soon as I can cause we're gonna include my all time FAV scene, 'The battle of Pelennor fields' in Cain's POV. But that's in the next chapter, for now not really much warnings except for Denethor's madness truly shining now and some graphic battle sequences.

NEXT CHAPTER

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@thats-s0-ravenn

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*Cain’s POV*

We rode through Dunharrow and I could already hear so many heartbeats of both men and horses.  The sound of iron clanking on metal forges and tents being pitched up for the night.  As we rode along, the men of Rohan acknowledged and announced their King’s arrival while Theoden raised his hand in greeting.

“Grimbold, how many?” Theoden asked.

“I bring 500 men from the Westfold my lord.” Grimbold answered to my right.

“We have 300 more from Fenmarch, Theoden King.” Proclaimed another man.

“Where are the riders from Snowbourn?” asked Theoden but another man told him.

“None have come, my lord.” Replied another man.

“We’re going to make camp just ahead on top of the mountain cliff’s. If you feel the altitude will be too much for your heightened senses, Theoden King will understand if you wish to stand at the ground level here.” Aragorn said as he rode up next to me.

“I appreciate the visual aid Aragorn, but I will be fine. It took some time for me to adjust but I’m able to rest on top the highest mountains Harad has to offer. The journey up the cliff’s will not deter me.” He hummed in acknowledgement as we rode up the steep cliff’s side all the way to what I assume is the King’s cliff’s where only the King of Rohan and his council members would rest while the rest of the army makes camp here down below.

When we got to the top and the men started to make camp, I stood with Theoden alongside the edge and fully counted the number of heartbeats that stood before us.

“6000 spears.” Theoden voiced my answer as Aragorn came and stood beside us.  “Less than half of what I’d hoped for.”

“6000 will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor.” I wouldn’t give up hope Aragorn.

“More will come.” Theoden assured him.  As he walked away, he stopped as Aragorn said.

“Every hour lost hastens Gondor’s defeat. We have till dawn, then we must ride.”

“I’m afraid he’s right Theoden King. With the four days we’ve lost since their departure, who knows what damage Gondor has already taken. Plus the three days ride from here to there. We cannot wait anymore.” I told him.  Theoden turned to me and nodded and that’s when a cold shiver ran up my spine and I could sense a presence nearby.

A dark, unrestful presence.  And I could sense from Aragorn that he was feeling the same thing I was.  I could also hear how the horses were starting to panic.

“Theoden, where exactly does this camp stand?”

“Just a few yards straight ahead of you Master Cain is the road to the Dimholt. The—”

“Door under the mountain.” I finished.

“You know of it?”

“Yes. And I know it’s story. Hela was involved with its making and it’s curse upon the souls who dwell there. Perhaps it’s best she hadn’t come with us.”

“All the years she and my ancestors had made camp here in previous wars, I never did understood why she never settled up here.” Theoden muttered.

“And now you know. The spirits here would not have welcomed Hela with open arms after what she did. I dare not speak ill of the dead but it’s not like they didn’t deserve what they got.” I walked away from Theoden and headed towards the horse stable where I heard Wisteria in a full panic.  Huffing and stomping her hooves with high levels of anxiety.

Slowly I came around to her and calmed her down in Elvish.  Cautiously approaching her from the side instead of head on like most of these men have been doing.

“Fæste, stille nú. Fæste, stille nú. Shhh. Shhh. Nú. Nú. Stille nú.” I took her reigns and she whinnied anxiously and frightenedly.  “Steady girl, steady big girl. All is calm, all is calm.” I gently stroked up her muzzle with the back of my fingers as she let out a huff.  “I know, I know big girl. But you have nothing to fear, not while I’m here. You trust me right?” she let out a soft neigh as I softly smiled, “Then nothing shall harm you whilst I’m here.”

She lowered her head down to my chest and I hugged her, stroking up and down her powerful neck.

“That’s my brave girl.” I gave her neck a couple of pats before rubbing it in soothing circles once more.  “We’re a team, you and me as one. I will keep you safe, if you keep me safe.” She nickered as she gave me a soft headbutt to which I placed my forehead up to hers.

“It’s almost as if you know exactly what she is thinking.” Éowyn’s voice spoke from behind me.  I turned to her and said.

“Celestials have always had the gift of knowing animals emotions. It’s not like I can precisely know what she’s saying but I can sense how she feels based on her emotions.”

“Merry is currently being suited for his Esquire attire, he wishes have you be there for him when I bestow his armor upon him.” I smiled.

“And I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Lead the way my lady.” I held my arm out and she took it as she guided me to where Merry was.

“Master Cain you came!”

“As I told lady Eowyn, I wouldn’t miss my young pupil getting fitted for his position as Esquire of Rohan.” He ran up and embraced me and I embraced him back.

“When will it be ready?” he asked Eowyn.

“Armor and helms take time to mold and size out, be thankful they were able to take your measurements the second we arrived.” Eowyn told him.  The way Merry’s heart raced, it reminded me of when Yvaine and I would take the children on a surprise picnic and they couldn’t wait any longer.

“Could you maybe check and see how it’s coming along?” asked Merry.

“Be patient Merry, these things can’t be rushed. It’s better to have an armor that is steadily prepared and fits properly rather than sloppy and unusable. You wouldn’t want your chest plate to come off and allow a sword to pierce right through you, do you?”

“No. That wouldn’t be good.” He said.

“I can still check to see how it’s coming along. With an armor your size, maybe it wouldn’t take as long to forge.” She stood up and I grabbed her wrist and whispered to her.

“You don’t need to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s really no trouble lord Cain.” I released her wrist and she left the tent.

“Now I’ve read what Esquires do in books back in the Shire, but does that also mean I’m also a knight of Rohan?” Merry asked me.

“Esquires can be knighted into knighthood by the King but that’s only if the King commands it. For now you will do as the King commands and be at his side until the battle is near.” Merry nodded.

“So is it like what you’re doing in Hela’s stand?” I smiled.

“Hela was the chief founder alongside the first king of Rohan in founding their kingdom. As such she was given the title Celestial Knight. A position in which only she can obtain. She not only helps serve in times of great war, but also acts as head of council to the king and his descendants till the end of time.”

“Hela always shared with us stories of her times serving alongside great Kings of Men. But she always held such praise whenever she talked about the two kingdoms of men, This one and Gondor, where she, Pip and Gandalf are.”

“She had a good connection with the mortal beings. Even when Ikaris and Thranduil tried to advise her on the warnings of associating with mortals, she didn’t care. Like me, she knew it was better to form as many friendships as you can in one’s life, than to never have taken the chance at all.”

“The armor is ready.” Eowyn said as she came in and I could smell the leather and metal of the buckles enter the tent.  Merry’s heart exhilarated with excitement and she continued, “Let’s test it out to make sure it fits you properly.” Merry stood up and together he and Eowyn started assembling his armor.

It took the span of the rest of the day but bit by bit Merry received his armor until finally his helm was ready.  Eowyn was just finishing adjusting it onto his head before finally saying.

“There, a true esquire of Rohan.” She stood up and I could hear and smell the excitement that was radiating from Merry.  His hand went to his belt and he exclaimed as he quickly withdrew his sword.

“I’m ready!” almost nearly slicing Eowyn across her chest. She jumped back with a gasp before laughing softly and I told him.

“Easy up there young warrior. Don’t want to hurt the Lady of the house you serve.”

“Sorry, it isn’t not all that dangerous. It’s not even sharp.” He muttered the last part sadly.

“Well that’s not good, you won’t kill many orcs with a blunt blade, right Lord Cain?” she said to me.

“Indeed not.” I replied.  “Come along, my own weapons could do with a proper sharpening too.” I stood up and exited the tent first followed by Merry who was practicing swinging his sword from the techniques I taught him.

“To the smithy with Lord Cain. Go!” Eowyn urged him and Merry raced on to catch up with me as we headed towards the smithy to get our weapons sharpened before war.

“Do you think after we get our weapons sharpened, we can train some more tonight?”

“Perhaps. But it cannot be a long training session I’m afraid. We have until dawn then we’re leaving for battle.” He nodded as he presented the blacksmith with his sword whilst I gathered my own weapons.  I then soon picked up another heartbeat that was currently making the climb up the cliff’s but it was not a Man’s heart, but Elven.  A heartbeat I had not heard in a long time, not since it had been nearly an Age since my own exile and he was still under the service of Gil-Galad.

I could also taste in the air the taste of freshly forged silver.  So the legend is finally being fulfilled, The blade that was broken, shall return to Minas Tirith in the hands of the Returning king.

“Cain? Master Cain?” I snapped out of my thoughts as Merry’s hand was on my arm.  “It’s your turn for your weapons to be sharpened.”

“Right, sorry Merry.” I presented the blacksmith with my daggers and knives.

“You were pretty deep in thought, is everything okay? Are we in danger?” Merry whispered the last part.

“Not here no. Just….hearing of a legend finally being put into motion.” Merry looked at me confused.  “Nothing you need to worry yourself over.”

“Here you are Lord Celestial.” The blacksmith said.  Merry took my weapons and handed them to me one by one whilst I places them around my belt and the two of us walked off to find an area to train when I heard Éowyn’s heart starting to break.

From the moment I first came here, I knew she had harbored some feelings towards Aragorn but he had to tell her that what she felt wasn’t real and that he cannot love her the way she wants him to.  Rejection is a harsh, cold reality that hurts worse than a steel blade cutting through you or even getting a punch from Gilgamesh. 

I hope that she can one day find someone who will truly love her.

“Merry, why don’t you find us a space to train? There’s something I need to do.”

“You sure you don’t need me to come along?”

“No, no. You go on, practice those combos I taught you back at the Golden Hall with your newly sharpened sword. I won’t be long.” He nodded then he left my side whilst I honed in on Aragorn’s heartbeat along with Gimli’s and Legolas’ who were standing at his side.  I came around a few tents to hear Gimli say.

“You might as well accept it, we’re going with you laddie.” I smiled.  Those three truly have formed such a bond of friendship and brotherhood throughout this entire quest.

“You should be grateful to have friends such as these Aragorn.” I said making myself known to them.  “Such loyalty in friendship has only ever been strong amongst my own kin that we tried to teach all those who came to Middle Earth.”

“Am I to assume you also are hoping to partake in our journey to the Dimholt?” Aragorn asked me.  I chuckled softly.

“Fortunately for you, I won’t. Someone has to stay behind and look after things on this end. I only came to see you three off, and to give you warning.” I walked up to Aragorn and he placed his hand to my shoulder whilst I did the same for him.  “The place you are about to enter is a place far worse than even the dark spell of Mordor can muster. A dark veil between our world and the unseen world, cursed by the Celestial of Death herself. The dead do not bargain with the living for they have nothing to lose. But hold true to your purpose, do not back down from your offer. And they will fight for you.”

“I’ve seen how Hela works her ways with the great beyond and she too has taught me how to speak with them. I’ll heed both yours and her teachings.” I smiled as our foreheads touched and I whispered to him in Elvish.

“May the grace of Celestial of Death Hela protect you three.” After Aragorn and I separated, he got on top of Brego whilst Legolas and Gimli got onto Arod and I walked beside Aragorn, guiding them towards the road to the Dimholt.

As we walked, I could hear the men muttering about why we were leaving on the eve of battle.  When we got closer to the entrance of the mountain, I stopped and released Brego’s reigns and felt the three of them disappeared within the darkness.  The men tried to call out to Aragorn to ask what he was doing but he didn’t give an answer as he disappeared.

“Lord Cain, what is the meaning of this?” asked one of the men.  “Why does he leave on the eve of battle?” I didn’t give a response until Gamling spoke up, hopelessness clearly ringing in his voice as he spoke.

“He leaves because there is no hope.”

“He leaves because he must.” I told him as I turned to face him.

“Lord Cain speaks the truth.” Theoden soon came forth aiding my statement.

“Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor.” Gamling said again.  There was deaf silence in the air as Theoden admitted to them.

“No….we cannot.” I could hear several of the men’s hearts drop in fear and hopelessness, that was until Theoden said to them, “But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.” A soft smirk came across my lips as I nodded in agreement with the King.  That alone began to light a spark of hope amongst the men once more.

As promised, I soon found Merry and together the two of us worked on his combinations as well as some basic horse training since he’ll be needing to know just how to handle his horse in battle. After only two hours of training, I told him to get some rest for we had a long journey ahead of us in just a few hours from now.

Dawn approached into the sky and the sparrows began to stir, the morning dew seeped onto the flowers and grass, and the horses began to awaken.  Both on the upper cliffs and down below the riders were quickly packing up camp, dousing out all the fires and saddling up their horses for departure.

I was with Wisteria and saddled her up with my pack underneath her saddle and she let out a soft whinny.

“Yes big girl. It is time. I know this is a lot to ask, but I’ll need you to be my eyes whilst we travel and when we arrive at Gondor. I am unfamiliar with these lands and I’ll need every bit of help when Theoden gives the command, can you do that for me?” she let out a proud huff and stamped her hooves twice.  “Thank you Wisteria, you’re a brave girl.” I kissed her muzzle and mounted on top of her.

“Lord Cain!” Théoden’s voice cried out to me.  I heard his horse ride up towards me and he said, “You ride with me at my side opposite of Éomer.”

“Yes Theoden King.” I told him as I urged Wisteria on and she followed right behind Théoden’s horse.  But all too soon he stopped as we came up to Merry and I was surprised to hear Theoden say to him.

“Little hobbits do not belong in war Master Meriadoc.” There was no condescending tone nor insulting demeanor to his tone, it was as if he was doing this for Merry’s own good.

“All my friends have gone to battle. I would be ashamed to be left behind.”

“It is a three day gallop to Minas Tirith and none of my riders can bear you as a burden.” Merry’s heart broke as he tried to persuade King Theoden.

“I want to fight!” Theoden was silent for a moment before he told him.

“I will say no more.” Then he rode off.  I turned to Merry and I knew he was looking up at me desperately.

“Master Cain, please.” I looked between him and where Theoden had ridden off to as Théoden’s voice called out to me.

“Lord Cain!” I sighed heavily and told him.

“It is beyond my control Merry. Even Hela would say the same thing. But take heart Merry, there might be a rider yet to bear you hence. I am too close to Theoden King to do so myself.” I urged Wisteria onward and she ran to catch up beside Théoden’s horse as everyone began to move out.

“Form up! Move out! Form up! Move out!” Éomer proclaimed to one and all as we rode through the fields of Dunharrow.

“Ride! Ride now to Gondor!” Theoden proclaimed.  Soon the armies of Rohan rode away from Dunharrow and on the path to Gondor.

*My POV*

I sat there in the tombs of the Kings and Stewards kneeling before the grave of Ecthelion, Denethor’s father.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore old friend. Your son has completely lost his mind. Nothing will get through to him now. This great city is at its dire hour. And I’m afraid that not even my powers will be enough to defend its shining glory.” I solemnly spoke.  I felt the soft graze of wind at my face.

‘You will have the strength to defend our home Hela.’ I heard Ecthelion’s voice say to me.

“Not according to your son.”

‘My son will need you now more than ever Hela. I know you and he never saw eye to eye. And that blame falls upon me. But soon he will see the truth. For now you must help another of my heirs.’

“What do you mean?” I asked.

‘You know of whom I speak. Reach out and hear his heart ring true.’ I then felt his presence leave me and I was once again alone in the tombs.  I closed my eyes and reached out with my own powers and could hear a single heartbeat coming closer to the walls of the city.  It was faint and weak but it still beat with life.  I let out a gasp and whispered.

“Faramir.” He’s alive!

“Hela! Hela!” I turned to see Pippin racing towards me.

“Pippin? Have you come to tell me about Faramir?” he stopped before me and had a look of shock and confusion on his face.

“He’s alive?”

“Yes. Hurry I’ll explain it on the way hurry!” I picked him up then using Makkari’s speed we raced towards the courtyard where the White tree stood and being brought in on a gurney by several guards was Faramir gravely wounded but his heart rang true.

I set Pippin down and raced up to Faramir and helped the guards set him down.  I touched his forehead and could see that like his brother, he had two arrows lodged in his body one near his shoulder, and the other near his lower gut.  Thankfully the guards were smart enough to not try and pull the arrows out completely otherwise he would’ve bled out.

“Faramir, Faramir can you hear me?”

“My lady he is dead.” Said one of the guards.

“No, he’s not. I can still hear his heartbeat. It’s faint but he’s still alive. We need to get him to a healer immediately!”

“Faramir?” we turned to see Denethor running out of the palace and across the courtyard.  He pushed me out of the way and knelt before his son weeping, “Say not that he has fallen.”

“They were outnumbered. None survived.”

“That’s not true! We can still save him!” I tried to speak up.

“My sons are spent…..my line has ended. The house of the Stewards has failed……” Denethor tearfully whimpered as he staggered away from Faramir.  I then saw Pippin go up to Faramir and he too saw what I had seen.

“He’s alive!” Pippin vouched for me.

“Please we must do something there is still hope. Denethor listen to us! Your son still lives!” I proclaimed.

“She’s right my lord he needs medicine.” Pippin agreed.

“My line has ended!” Denethor cried out tearfully.  I clenched my hands into fists and stormed towards him but my anger soon turned to horror at what I saw before me.

A full battalion of orcs spreading out far and wide across the entire Pelennor fields.  Not even the force that Saruman had sent to Isengard was as great as this.  It was as if the entire fields had been covered in a blanket of shadow.

“Rohan…..has deserted us.” I heard Denethor mutter under his breath.  I watched as the trolls readied the catapults with heavy boulders and they were soon fired by the orc launchers.  The stones flew high towards the towers and I could hear the panicked screams of the people, not only guards but women and children.  “Theoden’s betrayed me!” Denethor sneered under his breath.

No. No that’s not true! If anyone it’s your fault Denethor! You could’ve called out earlier but you had to resort Gandalf, Pippin and I to do your work for you like you’ve always had.  I’m sorry Ecthelion, I truly am.

“Abandon your posts! FLEE! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!” Alright that’s it! I suddenly appeared before Denethor and knife chopped him in the neck.  He let out a gasped groan as he grabbed his neck.  I snarled and then using Makkari’s special move, I used my index and tall finger to disable Denethor by hitting all of his pressure points to paralyze him.

It may have looked like an overkill but by the time I was done with him, he looked like a writhing mess on the floor and all that could be heard from him was a choked gurgle.

“PREPARE FOR BATTLE!! RETURN TO YOUR POSTS!!” I used my Celestial voice to boom across the entire city to make sure that the guards knew where they stood now.  I turned to Gandalf who was also looking down at Denethor with disgust but when he looked at me, he nodded firmly.

I shifted to Ikaris’ uniform and flew off to help prepare the soldiers for battle.  I landed along the walls at the Gate and told the soldiers.

“You will either take orders from me or the White Wizard. Your Steward has chosen to abandon your city. You are all soldiers of Gondor! Will you flee and allow your home to burn and your families be slaughtered or will you stand and fight!?” the soldiers all withdrew their bows and arrows readying for the attack I would give them.

My hands slowly glew with star bolts and I flew just a few feet from them and I told them to ready themselves.  As the orcs drew closer I told them to hold, hold, hold until I shouted.

“RAIN FIRE!!!” The archers then unleashed a rain of arrows down upon any and all orcs that came near the gates while I fired my star bolts at them.  This time (and from what I’ve seen of my Starlight kin in the past), when I fired my star bolts it was like an explosion had been set off from underneath their feet.  “Don’t you dare let a single one of these foul creatures get one scratch on those doors!” I proclaimed as I kept firing a rain of star bolts upon each and every orc that came near the gates.

Suddenly I felt a burning sensation from behind my eyes.  I grunted and tried to rub the feeling away but it kept getting burning brighter and brighter until finally……ZAP!! Star bolts came out of my eyes right at one of the towers which exploded underneath my power.

The burning sensation soon went away and I had recalled.  Only Ikaris and Cain were able to do this special move and together they were an unstoppable pair whenever they were able to do this move.  They had called it ‘Starlight’s Gazer-beam’.  A beam of powerful light that comes out of both eyes but it was as powerful and deadly as dragon-fire.

I smirked deviously and turned my attention back to the orcs.  I could hear most that had witnessed what I had done, their hearts racing in fear.  My entire body glew brighter but that’s when the sounds of the Nazgul came from above.

This time all nine of them had come to battle, including the Witch King himself.  I turned to the guards and proclaimed to them.

“Show them no mercy!” I flew towards the sky and felt my eyes burning once more and I shot a starlight gazer-beam right towards Angmar himself.  He swerved his fellbeast aside completely dodging my attack by a hair and turned his attention towards me.

The dark aura of his very spirit had my entire body shaking but I had to do this.  I knew he was the greatest threat to this kingdom, so if I take out the head of the snake, we’ll have a slight advantage without his dark magic affecting this city.  Plus this fight was personal, he already took Anor I wasn’t going to let him take Gondor too.

The Witch King and I stared each other down as my body continued to glow and shimmer like a star as both fear and rage boiled inside of me like an unknown mixture of stew.  I then flew towards him at great speed as I let out a Celestial battle cry which echoed through the entire sky.  While at the same time, Angmar urged his fellbeast towards me, screeching out his agonizing shriek wielding his Morgul blade.

I crossed my arms sending out a beam of light towards him, stirring him off course and fired a star bolt right at his back.  He turned and urged his fellbeast to follow me.  I took them high above the city but down towards the orc armies.  As low as I could go whilst exploding through the orc armies to hopefully give Gondor a fighting chance.  Angmar used his fellbeast to try and grab me but I fired multiple star bolts right into it’s mouth and face which forced it to rear itself inward and I took off flying back up into the sky.

A few seconds later, Angmar reappeared through the clouds with his flaming sword in hand now and I readied my own attack.  My eyes once again feeling that burning sensation until I fully let it out and it hit straight at Angmar’s flaming sword.  If I could somehow destroy that, it should lessen some of his powers.  If you had to ask me for most powerful weapons, in order I’d tell you it was his famed Morgul blade, followed by his Flaming sword and then his mace.

He blocked himself with his flaming sword, just like I had hoped he would.  I increased the power of my Starlight gazer-beam, crying out in rage, regret, and sorrow at all the lives he had taken back at Anor.  However I could feel, the power of his sword starting to push my power back towards me.

My body shook and trembled but I tried to push on until finally with a flash of light I was sent falling back towards the city where I had crashed through the White tower of Ecthelion.  I slammed through one side of the tower and actually came out the other side until I was skipping and going across the upper courtyard near the palace.

“HELA!!” I let out a groan as I felt small hands grip onto my shoulders.  “Miss Hela? Hela?!” I opened my eyes to see Pippin hovering over me and he said in relief, “You’re okay!” he immediately embraced me and that’s when I saw Gandalf running up towards me.  Fear suddenly took over me as I told him.

“He’s too powerful. Not even with Ikaris’ power can I stop the Witch King.” Gandalf and Pippin looked at me in despair and horror respectively.

“You will help us with the orcs and trolls. The Nazgul—will have to wait. These men need a commanding officer. They need you Hela.” Gandalf told me.  I nodded and grunted in pain as I stood up and returned to my own Celestial armor and summoned Aeglos to my hand.

“Pippin, you wait here and guard the palace. If there is a breach, the city will need you to defend it from harm.” I told him.  Pippin nodded and withdrew his sword showing me that he was ready to do his duty as Guard of the Citadel.

“Be careful Hela.” I nodded then both Gandalf and I raced off to command the soldiers of Gondor throughout the battle.

By the time the sun was setting in the West and the first signs of nightfall were upon us, the battle was still raging onward.  According to Gandalf the lower levels had been breached, now my main objective was to get the women and children up to the second level.  Using Makkari’s speed, I grabbed as many women and children as possible to race them out of harms way before the orc armies could flood into this part of the city.

Once everyone was through, we barred the gates of the second level and I said to some of the guards.

“Gather every bowmen you’ve got left and get them into these buildings, the orcs won’t suspect a surprise attack from the tops of civilian homes. And make sure they barricade the homes once there inside.”

“Yes my lady Celestial.”

“HELA!! HELA!!!” I heard Pippin’s voice calling out to me.  Through the panicked crowd I couldn’t see my young hobbit friend but as I pushed through them I finally caught sight of him.

“PIP!!” I called out to him.  He raced over to me and cried through the panicked screams.

“Denethor has lost his mind! He’s burning Faramir alive!” my eyes widened.

“Tell me where and hold on!” I picked him up and using Makkari’s speed, we quickly raced to where Denethor had taken Faramir to be burned.  But we were stopped by a few guards who sported armor with anti-Celestial runes.  I narrowed my eyes and reverted back to my normal armor, my hearing coming back instantly as the leading guard said to me.

“You cannot take another step Celestial Hela, by order of the Steward of Gondor.”

“Clearly you can see that your Steward has gone completely mad! His son is alive and you’re willing to let Faramir be burned alive?! If not then you lot are about as mad as Denethor has become.”

“Hela,” Pippin said to me but I shushed him.

“If you choose to fight us we’ll have no choice but to use extreme measures.” Said the leading guard.

“Hela.” Pippin now began tugging on my trousers like a child demanding attention.

“I’ve fought with worse beings than you lot.”

“Hela!”

“What Peregrin Took!?” I snapped at him.

“There’s something you need to know about these guys.”

“If it’s about the Celestial runes on their armor I can see that Pippin.”

“No, it’s about Haldir.” I froze.  I looked down at Pippin and whispered.

“You can’t say his real name here Pippin.”

“Hela, they already know. Haven’t you noticed how he didn’t come to help aid in the fight?” I thought back.  Now that he mentioned it, I hadn’t even been able to detect Haldir’s heartbeat within the city at all.  “I’m sorry Hela, but—they somehow found out and took him.”

“And you’re sure it was these men here?” I asked lowly.

“I saw it with my own eyes. I even heard someone else’s voice. It was—it frightened me. It was both warm yet unsettling and I swore I saw Haldir’s eyes glow red at one point.” Red eyes? Deimos! I turned to the men and demanded.

“What have you men to say against these allegations? Are they true? Did you apprehend an Elf earlier today?”

“We have no idea what you’re talking about.” Said the leader.  Oh they want to play this game, okay I’ll play along. 

I lifted my hand as it glowed black with my own magic and all the men lurched forward in agony as they gripped their chests in pain. 

“Don’t make me ask twice!” I threatened in a low, menacing tone.

*3rd Person POV*

Over at Minas Morgul, now that the Witch king and the armies of Mordor had finally cleared the fortress, there was no one left but four people.  Nergal who was sitting with a Morgul blade in his hand, Perses who stood along the balcony with his arms crossed looking outward towards Gondor, and Deimos stood with a blood stained dagger in his hand and standing right before him in wires was Haldir.

His upperbody stained with blood, bruises, and scars.  The wires Haldir had been bounded by were unlike anything he had ever seen or heard of before.  With each struggle or even movement he made, the wires would dig into his skin like a knife causing not only pain but discomfort.  And they also seemed to get tighter with each movement he made.

“I’ll admit, I’ve had my fill but now I’m growing bored, why can’t we just kill this Elfling and be done with him already?” Deimos said.

“What good is he to us if he’s dead? We want him alive for Hela’s arrival.” Nergal said.  That’s when Perses’ brow rose up and he moved toward the balcony and he said in a low menacing growl.

“It’s happening.” Deimos and Nergal turned to him.  “Can’t you feel it? She’s finally giving in.” Deimos smelled the air and exhaled pleasurable and said with a menacing grin.

“He’s right, I can smell her rage from here. And she’s close, so very close to spilling that blood in raw rage.”

“Seems you were right Perses, all she needed was that extra little push.”

“Soon the Celestial of Death will arrive and she’ll be at our mercy. Then all of Middle Earth shall bow before us.” Perses then let out a menacing cackle which echoed through the mountains surrounding Minas Morgul.

Back at Gondor, Pippin stood there terrified at seeing Hela, the woman he came to admire as a sister figure suddenly become this raging, terrifying deity who didn’t seem to show any mercy.  The men had now been submitted to unspeakable torture thanks to Hela’s own magic.

They were all now writing in agony on the floor as it had felt like they were burning from the inside out.

“You tell me where he is now!?” with a flick upward of her wrist the men were now levitating upside down, the blood quickly rushing to their heads but they also felt their own hearts slowly stopping as Hela’s hand slowly closed into a fist.

“ALRIGHT WE’LL TELL YOU!!” proclaimed one of the other guards.

“YES WE’LL TELL YOU ANYTHING! PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON US!!” exclaimed another guard.  Hela put those two men down and as they let out a long gasp of air before coughing, they were suddenly dragged forward towards Hela and she gripped their throats and demanded.

“Talk.”

“Lord Perses suspected of an Elf being in this city. He had ordered all of us to be on the lookout and if we were to find it, we had to surrender it to them.”

“Haldir is not an IT!” Hela’s voice got low before growling menacingly as she squeezed the guard’s throat tightly.

“My apologizes my lady!” he choked out.

“Where did you take him?!” she growled.

“To Minas Morgul.” Said the other guard she had in her grasp.  “He said if we found the Elf, to take him there. We don’t know what they had planned for him there! We swear!” Hela released their throats and stood still.  As the men coughed and quickly ran as fast as they could away screaming in fear, Pippin looked up to Hela.

“Hela? A-are you—okay?” suddenly the ground began to shake.  The men Hela still had hanging upside down, had finally been released from their spell and called out a retreat.  The whole city soon began to shake as if an earthquake was about to bring the city to the ground.  Pippin turned to Hela to see her hands had clenched up so hard, that her knuckles not only grew white but blood was dripping from her palm.

Her hair began to raise up and wave like a banner and her eyes suddenly glew a pure white and she let out a scream.  Like when she had her ‘Celestial roar’ back during the Battle of the Five armies when Thorin betrayed her trust. 

However unlike before when her power was nulled, this time the full wrath of the Celestial’s roar could be heard.  And with Hela’s powers increased tenfold since then, it shook the entire kingdom of Gondor.

And when both men and orcs heard her scream, they thought at first it was a Nazgul scream however unlike theirs, it was more raw, more painful, and more angrier than theirs.  Everyone had no choice but to cover their ears less they wish to have their very ears explode off their face.

Her black magic began to surround her like a hurricane as she was lifted up into the sky.  Pippin held on for dear life as he watched in heartbreak and horror at Hela’s powers become erratic and unstable.  He let out a grunt as he tried to walk towards her through the powerful winds that her magic was bringing about. 

When he found her, he reached up and grabbed her ankle as her head immediately faced towards him, a contorted face of pure rage stared down at him, almost like she didn’t even recognize him.  But Pippin held firm as he pulled on her leg till she came down, when she came to her knees he immediately embraced her as tight as he could hoping that it would bring her out of this rageful state.

Then as quick as it had occurred, her magic vanished and all went still and quiet once again.  Hela’s glowing eyes reverted back to her normal eye color and said wept.

“It’s all my fault.”

“Go after him.” Hela turned to the young hobbit.  “I understand now. Back in Lothlorien, why you were away from us that whole time we were there. And what you had told Merry and I when we rested near those falls about your failed relationship. It was him wasn’t it? Haldir is the elf you love and still love.”

“I can’t go to Minas Morgul. That place it—they know that’s the one place I can never go to.”

“But you love him, and he loves you. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come back to you, right?” Pippin wiped away her fallen tears.  “A Celestial goes to where they are needed, and that right now is with Haldir. Go after him.” Hela embraced Pippin and he gave her a kiss on her cheek.  “I’ll find Gandalf, thanks to what you did you might’ve spared us some time. Not even Denethor could’ve ignored that.” Hela softly chuckled but then stood up and turned to Minas Morgul.  She shifted into Makkari’s armor and she quickly raced out of the city and ran towards Minas Morgul.

[straykats]

yay i did my nails and now im gonna try and sleep before 1am 😭

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[overgrownlive]

My first live blogged series was the Lunar Chronicles. Unfortunately, I only started blogging during Fairest, and the majority of my thoughts were from Winter. But I'm glad that I read it and shared my thoughts as I did.

That said, I wanted to share my thoughts on the series as a whole because it's been a while since I've gotten this invested in a YA series and tlc blew me away.

Spoiler warning!!!

Cinder-

My sibling recommended the book/series to me. They read it a while ago, and I was looking for some good old fashioned escapism (life is rough, yadda yadda) and I took the suggestion because I love reimagined fairy tales. I also love aliens. And cyberpunk.

So naturally I was on board from chapter one.

I actually originally thought that Cinder was gonna end up having the info on the lost princess lost in her coding. Didn't expect her to be selene bc I thought it was too obvious. I need to stop playing 5D chess with inter-dimensional time travel with YA authors.

I love Kai. I love Iko. I love(d) Peony. I have a love/hate relationship with Cinder and Torin.

Dr. Erland was my favorite character until I figured out why he started the cyborg draft bc dude there were so many better ways to do that. Like....idk you could have looked at the immigration files from Europe and found what family adopted a cyborg five years ago from Reiux France. But ...whatever. Fine.

Everyone might hate me for this opinion but I felt that the feelings that Kai had for cinder were very forced, especially at first. She barely spoke to him, she was just some girl. Idk, I didn't get it. Of course, once we get Kais perspective and he explains that he kinda asked cinder out for convenience I was like "ahh, yes...the fake dating trope. My favorite." /Gen. But then I got confused bc his feelings seemed genuine? Idk it was very confusing but tbh I didn't give a shit about their relationship, I wanted to know what was going on with Luna. I wanted to know about the plot. I wanted Cinder to save Peony and I thought she was going to.

And when she didn't

I almost cried.

I wanted Kai to save the common wealth. I didn't want him to marry Levana or make any deals with her

And when he did

I almost screamed

I understand the feelings now that I've read the whole series. I think it was more of an instinct thing. But at the time, before I knew how they fit together, I was really confused. They just seemed too different and too thrown together.

But, like I said, that didn't dissuade me from reading: the plot, the characters individually, and the world building were enough to keep me going. I'm not someone who reads YA for romance.

Scarlet-

Tbh this was my least favorite book. Again, not really interested in the romance between scar and wolf. I guess it's just that I knew they'd end up together in the end so it didn't really matter to me. I also knew wolf would betray her and I knew she'd be like "jk still love you" and he'd be like "same"

Also my grandma is fucking crazy in the bad way (I'm sorry if you love your grandma, I'm sure your grandma is very nice. Mine is not) and I would not do any of this for her so I can't relate to scarlet on that front. I like to think I'm like her in the strong, firecracker sense. But besides that, there's not a lot of relatability for me so idk

Thorne is my bestie and I love him. His friendship with Cinder got me through the book ngl. I feel bad saying this bc I really do love the series, and I like scarlet and wolf, I just wouldn't read a book about only them: if Thorne and cinder weren't in this book, I would've dropped the series.

I didn't like how wolf had to do everything for her. Like jump off the train and save her from ran and bust her out of prison and shit. Like, yeah, she shot him once but like...idk. not my fav. I think they have an interesting dynamic and I like the characters and their relationship is cute, I just was kinda like ..."okay, cool" the whole time. Not my thing I guess?

That's kinda all I have to say about this one? Idk, I still enjoyed it, I just also barely remember it and I feel like the main purpose was to set us up for angst later in winter.

Cress-

So Rapunzel is one of my favorite fairy tales and I love this retelling. The way that cress' feet get fucked up and Thorne loses his vision I was like "YES THATS SO CLEVER NFKSKRWKKA"

Also the foreshadowing abt their relationship. Thorne is one of my favs, I'm a sucker for asshole gremlins who want to be better.

The way that they kidnap Kai at the end made me laugh so hard. Torin helping melted my heart. I am now invested in cinder and Kais relationship, it doesn't feel forced anymore. It feels like they both saw something in each other that was so abstract that even the reader can't quite grasp it. Kai still has her foot. Why did he keep it? They think about each other constantly. They both have responsibilities that nobody else can understand, but at least they can both try. They want the same thing but neither can have it. They have similarities now. They fit better, now. I get it, now.

Dr erland being cress' father was something I saw coming but also didn't care about, I felt like we could've gone without that. It would be just as powerful if the DNA test came back negative. Erland was hoping, out of desperation, that his crescent moon was still alive. But he really did lose her. Idk.

I loved the desert. The symbolism.

I loved how they both had to rely on each other. I love the dynamic between cress and Thorne. How cress wanted a hero to save her, how Thorne didn't think he could be a hero ever. How they both were a hero for each other.

Thorne taught cress how to survive outside of her satellite. He taught her how to live on Earth. He was there when she took her first steps on feet that had never walked before. Not really.

And cress taught Thorne how to rely on others. She saved him from his sense of self, a view of his life that labeled him as a worthless criminal. She taught him how to care about other people. She taught him to see people, instead of look at them.

It killed me. I love them.

Fairest-

Fuck Levana

Winter-

I loved winter as a character and I really liked the way the story ended. I loved the confession scene between Thorne and cress and most of the rest of my thoughts/big takeaways and opinions can be inferred from my liveblogs.

One thing I will say, though, is I hate how Cinder plans on giving up her rule. I understand that she wants to dissolve the monarchy, but I think she should run for president or Parliament or whatever government she sets up.

Also like...if there's technology that stops lunar from abusing their power...doesn't the whole monarchy thing like...still work??? Idk

Overall this was probably the most engaging YA series I've read in a while. The characters were all diverse and individual and I loved the plot and world building. I've been done with the series for a few weeks and still think about it every day.

[coralstudiies]

SURVIVAL GUIDE & STUDY TIPS

hello everyone!! this post is a collab with the lovely and amazing @boinkhs because we've both reached 2k followers :D she'll be doing study tips for college students and i'll be doing study tips for high schoolers. check out her post here!

i've split this into part 1. survival, which concerns how to study & learn better in general and just tips on how to get through high school. part 2. is on specific study tips for each type of subject, namely sciences, maths, languages and humanities.

Hope this helps <3

1. Don't snooze please

you just end up snoozing 5 times then you’re late for school

2. If you find you have difficulty getting out of bed, just keep in mind ONE TASK you need to do.

for example, making your bed. then you just gotta focus on that! it should help fight the sleepiness because you’re forcing your brain and limbs to be active.

3. Do the necessary things like brushing your teeth, putting on clothes and eat breakfast

i don’t know why but some people don’t eat breakfast before coming to school like ???? excuse me ???? please eat at least a small snack, or a fruit or something. your body doesnt function on an empty stomach! also, drink some water to hydrate yourself

4. On the road, you should do something that puts you in a good mood.

for me, i go straight to spotify and listen to my playlist. you should also review the previous day’s learning so that you refresh your memory before going back to class. personally this is my fav part of the day HAHAHA

5. If you like, you can choose to read a book.

just make sure you’re calm but ‘warmed up’ to focusing in a sense.

1. Hydrate frequently

idk man it just keeps you awake + i dont feel so icky if i drink enough water

2. Learn actively

if the teacher asks questions, try to answer. sit at the front row. offer to help give out the worksheets or notes. clarify your doubts after. when they speak, copy down notes. don’t worry about the aesthetic; i mean you can but you need to write fast and neat which unfortunately doesnt come together very often. i suggest you spend more brain power digesting and understanding the content.

3. Don’t over highlight

ONLY KEY POINTS that are stressed by the teacher. you can tell when their tone changes, expression changes, when they use more hand motions, or they keep repeating a few key words. yes , that. highlight that. stare at it while listening to them speak. make sure you understand. if you don’t please ask. but make sure you don’t have a fluorescent page because that’s not ideal study material!

4. Write down any questions you have

if they’re answered in the lesson, cancel them off. if not, ask after the lesson. dont be scared! *sends virtual courage*

5. Use whatever free time you have to finish homework

because you’re gonna thank yourself later. you should spend more time at home revising than doing homework. ( doing homework isnt equivalent to revising PLEASE I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY REVISED FOR 3 HOURS BUT ALL THEY DID WAS HOMEWORK ) also it feels better knowing you have one less thing to worry about

6. Record down all assignments, due dates and test dates

do it in a planner or your phone. doesn’t matter just keep them somewhere. it can be demoralising to see an entire entry of shit to get done but still it’s better than not knowing what needs to be done. ignorance is NOT bliss. try to color code or symbol code them, for example • for assignments (due date behind), - for tests etc. act on this when you go home (see below)

7. Have a file/binder some form of organisation to keep different subjects’ worksheets, tests, notes, reading etc.

you can have one massive binder, one binder for each subject, one folder file for each subject or anything that suits you. for me, i clip all materials of one subject together with a binder clip. the materials i use most are at the front for easy reference. then put those bundles into zipper files, perhaps one for math and sciences, another for languages and humanities. or whatever suits you best! make sure you have everything in one place so you don’t panic and dig through a pile of dog-eared paper.

8. If you can, when it’s near the exam period, don’t stay back after school unless it’s to study.

i used to stay back for training and to play volleyball with my friends and i kid you not we would play from 2pm to 6.30 pm and get nothing done but it was fun. and i’m not saying deprive yourself of that fun but when the exams are near, you should be studying somewhere quiet/ somewhere you can focus. you should go somewhere (preferably home) where you can focus and get things done.

9. Decide if you’re a lone wolf or if you need a study buddy/study group

personally i’m a lone wolf because i hate distractions and i don’t want to distract others. but when my friends ask me for help i don’t mind staying back a little to teach them and/or study with them. Personally i find that for subjects like english which require you to write about an array of topics, studying with someone else can help in generation of essay points and to just broaden your understanding of the topic. so yeah it really depends, just do what suits you :)

10. Take notes in class

try to understand while copying, and if you didn’t understand something, you should raise your hand and ask for the teacher to repeat so that you hear it again. also, it gives you more time to take notes as they re-explain the content. read them after the lesson is over to help internalise some facts. you can create your own method of organisation for your notes, e.g. colour coding.

1. Review the day’s learning on the way home.

if you take public transport, try to flip through your notes and worksheets to review new content for the first time.

2. Eat lunch, have a snack, take a shower, everything that’s necessary.

if you use your phone while eating, make sure you don’t eat slowly just to use your phone because that’s wasting time.

3. If you’re super tired, just have a 15-20min power nap

nothing more otherwise you will NEVER wake up until the dead of night. just take a nap to get some energy back. doesnt matter if you wake up feeling more tired, because you’ll shake that feeling in a while. keep a glass of water beside you so that you can drink it once you wake up!

4. Look through your ‘list’ that you made earlier in the day. (in class, pt. 6)

you might want to spend max 10 mins updating your schedule. then stare at the dreaded homework. start with the easiest and least time consuming to build up momentum. this could actually be the remainder of what you’ve finished in school. then look at the due dates. do them in order of due dates. unless it’s a huge project or assignment, you might want a head start on it!

5. With the remaining time, you should start revising

review the day’s learning AGAIN.

make notes/mindmaps/flashcards whatever works for you. you should prioritise the subject or chapter that you were most confused about. quickly revise and try to clear up any questions you have about the chapter. if you have additional time, go ahead and make notes for the next subject! another way is going through corrections and clarifying your doubts with friends/teachers, and summarise the day’s learning on a post-it or two. if you’ve already taken notes in class, look at other sources e.g textbook and combine what you’ve learnt before re-writing or re-organising your notes.

1. Pack your bag!

remove unnecessary materials, and pack the necessary one. make sure your bag isnt too heavy. you can choose to hand carry some files or binders if they’re too bulky, but make sure you’re all packed before the next morning

2. Have a meal & clean up

again, basic necessities. don’t go to bed hungry or feeling icky because thats not how you treat yo self!

Before class:

if you’re going to continue on a chapter, review the content that came before it. Try to make your own connections between the already learnt and to-be learnt content so that you’re mentally ready for class.

In class:

take down notes, highlight, annotate and DRAW DIAGRAMS. you can’t do sciences without diagrams. for physics or chemistry which require more calculation, copy down the problems your teacher goes through and solve them along with him/her. write the formulas on a post it note so you can stick it onto the page where you’re writing for easy reference. if the teacher plays a video which is MOST DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU you have to write only the relevant points in the most abbreviated form possible.

Note-taking:

I find that linear notes help me most in sciences. for chapters that involve lots of interconnected processes, for example o chem, then mindmaps or flowcharts will be helpful. also if you tend to forget something, post-it that stuff on the front page of your notes where you are FORCED to stare at it. yes. write down example problems and their steps, then write explanations for each step so that if you’re confused you can always refer back. again, draw any required diagrams.

Answering techniques:

if there’s a ‘standard’ way to answer it then you have to make sure you follow that way even in your homework because it’s muscle memory. when you get to exams, your hand will automatically write in the same format so you don’t lose marks or spend time recalling the correct format.

imo sciences are quite logical so as long as you remember and follow the flow you’ll be fine!

In class:

copy key terms, facts and examples and write all examples that the teacher has gone through. write all formulas and definitions on a post it, then shift it around the pages as needed. if there’s a type of problem you particularly suck at, ask your teacher for help IMMEDIATELY because it’s so easy to forget the steps to a problem.

At home:

do your homework, do additional practice, correct your mistakes, clarify, and repeat. memorise formulas and definitions (perhaps using flashcards or post its) then practice more and make sure your concepts are strong. there’s no easy way and sadly this is all i can comment.

In class:

copy down notes, think actively, and if you’re given a sample essay you should annotate the heck out of it and keep it somewhere safe.

For essays:

read up more and write up. befriend the best writer in class and ask for their essays. write essay plans and consult your teacher. brainstorm possible approaches with friends. read the news, and copy the links of interesting online articles for future reference. have a go-to list of examples and quotes you can use, for any and every topic. read these like your bedtime story and never forget to keep updating them.

For comprehension passages:

read the questions first. then you’ll be more sensitive to what you need to read in the passage and how you need to analyse it. try to question yourself about how and why the author does something or makes you feel something. do not rush-read the passage or you will fail horribly (personal experience). do one or two extra comprehensions and ask your teacher to mark them.

In class:

ARROWS TO LINK EVERYTHING and annotate any class notes given. write down new examples provided by the teacher. if there is a link you ‘can check out’ go check it out. it’s probably something thats gonna be on the exam.

At home:

you have to rely on mindmapping and flow charts because everything is linked in some way and you cannot ignore those links!!!! although i do my humanities notes in linear form, my in class notes are all in the form of mindmaps. and actually i revise from those in a pinch because i can see everything at one go. watch vids on the concepts, for example plate tectonics. those things are so hard to see when they’re deadass sitting on the page and not budging. watch a video where they really move instead of being frozen.

If you’re so frickin lost:

watch more videos on the concepts, watch more videos on the events, search up interpretations online and ask your teachers!!! for everyone who gets equally lost as me when i’m faced with a new chapter, another way is to pre-read before the teacher starts teaching. if you’re lazy to read just watch a couple clips on it so that at least you have some background. even if you wake up the next day with 0 concrete memory, which you won’t, you’ll already have the flow of things which will help you if you’re usually the straggler.

(disclaimer i study geography although i've tried history and english literature but i think that they're similar to some extent, especially on how to study them)

[misterbitches]

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas. 

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL. 

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t 

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers! 

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die. 

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts  more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more.  i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done) 

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom. 

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through. 

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao.  basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman.  anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord. 

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop. 

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t.  beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when  i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are. 

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of  bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid. 

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc. 

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me) 

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao 

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and  i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex) 

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

[bella-spil]

2 Romeos & 1 Juliet- Part 4

Part 4- Its Buckys turn to take you on a date. Fem reader

Warnings- implied smut(not really) kissing/making out, cursing.

Word Count: 6.7k( I tried to add a lot more detail in this one so bear with me)

Taglist: @kmuir1​ @angrythingstarlight​ @wednesday-add-em​ @sea040561​ (lmk if you wanna join.  The more the merrier!)

A/N: This would have been done sooner, but the internet was down for the past three days.  I got some inspiration from GOTG vol.2( a tiny bit) and I added a lot more detail than normal.  And there might be a meme or two that I took a line from(its the “so I started blasting” one”).  Also the pic of the outfit is from me, amd Im sry for the terrible quality, I have a shitty camera.  Also the link for the 40s slang I used is https://rkcowles.wordpress.com/1940-slang-glossary/ , if you are in the mood to learn some.  I hope you enjoy, bc this one might be my fav of this series.  

You had a pretty good week after your date with Loki.  Whenever you saw the God of Mischief, you both acted like his attempted kiss never happened.  You acted like normal friends.  You read the note Billie gave you, alone so Loki didn't see, and she actually said she thought Loki was cute.  Not hot but cute.  You laughed at what she wrote, and you swore you would never show Loki.  

As the week went on, Bucky was planning his date out.  He had a place, one that you would both enjoy and have a lot of fun at.  He had everything prepared for you, but he was still nervous.  

What if it doesn't work?  What if she really doesn't like me?  What if I do something wrong?  He thought as the week carried on.  But he never showed the fear to you.  He was acting all confident, bragging about how he would win you over with his charm, like how he did with the ladies in his time.  You told him that you weren't like all those other girls, and he agreed.  He said that he would have a challenge with you, but he knew he would win.  He always won.  He also flirted with you constantly, which drove Loki up the walls.  You enjoyed this confident side of the Winter Soldier, you knew you were gonna see it more often.  

You also tried prying the location of the date out of Bucky.  But he was a Super Soldier, so that didn't work out.  You gave up in about 5 minutes.  

Then the day came.  You and Bucky were both anxious.  You had no clue where you were going, and Bucky hasn't been on a date in a while.

“Doll, we are leaving at 4 ok?” he let you know at lunch.

“Got it.  Where are we going?” you asked for the 100th time.  Bucky rolled his eyes and didn't answer.  “Fine.  What should I wear?”

“Hmm..” Bucky thought.  “Wear a T-shirt and shorts, like you did with Loki.  But we are going to be walking around a lot, so don't wear something uncomfortable.”

“Ok,” you said, walking to your room to get prepared.  Bucky thought he did a good job, not revealing too much about the date.  He liked keeping you guessing, it amused him more often than not.

~~~

As you were in your room, you paced back and forth from your closet to your bed.  You were stressed with not knowing anything about tonight.  But you were stressing out with the new feelings to your long time friend.  You didn't know if you were feeling them because of the upcoming date, or if you were making it up.  But you didn't have this on your date with Loki.  You had no clue, so you tried to ignore the feelings.  But they weren't letting up, getting you more and more nervous.  You tried to take deep breaths, and it worked.  So you focused your time on getting ready.

“What to wear, what to wear,” you muttered to yourself as you scanned your closet like a robot.  After a few minutes of rummaging around through heaps and heaps of clothes, you found a cute and comfortable outfit.  

You found a cute crop top that only exposed a small amount of your stomach.  It was low cut, but not too revealing.  It was a black t-shirt, and it was your favorite shirt because it looked really good on you, at least you thought.  You always felt a bit more confident whenever you wore it, and you knew you might need it for tonight.  

You also found a pair of super soft cotton shorts.  They were a dark, camo-like green.  They didn't have camo print, just dark green and a white lining.  You adored the shorts because they were the softest thing you owned, besides another sweatshirt you owned.  They were mid-waisted and were a little revealing on your ass.  But you loved the way the shorts made you feel, like any man would fall for you by just looking at you.

You found a pair of black Adidas sneakers, which would be good for walking.  You didn't put on any jewelry, since you weren't a big fan of it.  You only wore it at the concert because it was a concert, you wanted to look decent.  You left your hair down again, letting the natural curls and waves have a mind of their own.  After a couple flips of your hair, you had the look you wanted.  

Then you moved on to your makeup.  Since you would be walking a lot, you thought you might sweat a bit, so you didn't put too much on.  Only a bit of foundation to hide some blemishes on your skin, a tiny amount of blush and mascara.  You didn't like wearing makeup either, since your time in the mountains saw no need for it.  You didn't understand how people took hours and hours for makeup, and at the end of the night, they would have to wipe it off and do it all again the next day. 

When you finished, you took one final look in the mirror and you thought you looked amazing.  Your confidence soared through the roof as you checked yourself out.  

“Doll, its time,” Bucky knocked at your door.  “You ready?”

You got scared and flinched in front of the mirror.  You were not expecting time to fly that fast.  

“Yeah Bucky, i'll be down in a minute.” you answered, not trying to show that he scared you.

“Ok, I'll wait by the front door,” Bucky said.  You heard his footsteps fade as he left, and you took a sigh of relief.  You grabbed a small, black backpack, just to store your phone and some money since you had no clue what to expect.  You checked yourself out in the mirror one last time as you put on some lip gloss.  Then you put the lip gloss away and headed out of your room.

~~~  

Bucky stood anxiously by the door.  He wore a pair of shorts and a black Brooklyn logo shirt. The shirt was a little snug on him, so it made his biceps pop out a little more.  He didn't bother covering his metal arm.  He wasn't used to having it out in the open, especially in public.  But he always was comfortable with his arm around you, so he thought it would be the same with you anywhere.  He was not going to let strangers ruin his night with you.  His hair was down and he wore a pair of black Nike’s.  He had on his signature dog tags and in his pockets, he had his phone, which he barely knew how to use, and some money for the date.  But, like a true gentleman, he had a bouquet of red roses in his hands.  He never showed up to a date without flowers.  He knew his manners and class, and if he didnt, he knew his momma would reprimand him for not being a gentleman.

“What is taking her so long?” Bucky said out loud.  

“Don't get your hopes up, Wiener Soldier,” Loki said, smugly.  He was hoping to mess with Bucky before it was too late.

“Shut it, you Lord of the Rings looking ass,” Bucky said, not giving two shits for Loki's mind games.  Loki walked away, hoping that would do something to Bucky.

Then, you appeared from the hallway.  Bucky had to do a double take because, Jesus, you looked fine.  You looked so confident and proud of yourself that Bucky was in awe.  He loved a woman that walked with a purpose.  You looked perfect in his eyes.  He smiled as you came closer to him.  His heart fluttered as he realized he would be with you.  The person his heart had fallen for since he first saw you.

You saw Bucky standing there, the roses in hand.  Bucky's eyes looked brighter than ever, full of excitement and adventure.  He looked nice in his outfit.  You never saw him out in public with his metal arm showing, so it was a shock for you when it was on full display.  You also saw his muscles poking out of the shirt, and you tried your hardest not to stare.  

“You look like a dreamboat, toots,” Bucky gushed, using a ton of 40s slang.  You blushed, since you knew what they meant.  Anyone would know what those terms meant, but two years ago, Bucky taught all the slang he knew.  

“So do you,” you replied, smiling.  

“These are for you, doll,” Bucky said as he handed the flowers to you. 

“Thanks Bucky, you didn't have too,” you said.

“Well if I didn't, I know my momma would bust my chops,” Bucky said, chuckling.  You laughed with him.  You loved when his Brooklyn accent came through.

“Cmon lets get going,” Bucky said, leading you out the door.  

~~~

“Ok Bucky, where are we going?” you asked again in the car.

“You'll find out when we get there,” Bucky replied.

“Ok, when will we get there?” you asked, hoping for an answer this time.

“Bout 30 minutes,” Bucky answered to your relief.  “Ok I wanna quiz you on something.”

“Ooo car games, I love those,” you said, gaining interest.

“Lets see how much 40s slang you remember.” Bucky said, looking at you.

“Thats easy, I’ll quiz ya too,” you said. 

“You got a lotta moxie.  Ladies first,” Bucky said, placing his hand on your thigh.  This was the first time he had ever done this.  You were a little shocked at first and froze for a moment, but you weren't asking him to move it.  His warm hand felt so comforting on you.  You just wanted to let it sit there forever.  So you put your hand on top of his.  

Bucky took his eyes off the road for a minute, just to look at you and your hand on his.  If he said he wasn't over the moon right now, he would be lying.  He felt like he was on cloud-9.  

“Ok what does ‘beef’ mean?” you asked.

“It means a disagreement.  That was easy, doll,” Bucky said.

“Go, Buck,” you sighed.

“Fine.  What does ‘brown nose’ mean?” Bucky asked, his blue eyes shining into yours.  You took a second to think, but you didn't remember.

“I don't know, bucky.” you sighed in shame.  

“Haha! One for Bucky.  Zip for Y/N.” Bucky celebrated.   

“Don't celebrate too early, punk,” you teased.  “What does it mean?”

“It means ass kisser,” Bucky explained, earning a “ohh” outta you.

“Name five things that mean ‘attractive’” you said.

“Are you doing this to mess with me and trick me into saying it about you?” Bucky questioned, getting suspicious.

“Yeah, now answer,” you answered, unashamed.  Bucky rolled his eyes, getting a laugh out of you.

“Ok, first is ‘honey’. ‘Bombshell’ is one, so is ‘babe’.  Then, ‘20-20’ and… dreamboat.” Bucky answered.

“Good job.  Your turn.” you smiled.

“Since you did it to me, I'll do it to you.” Bucky mocked.  

“Fine.  ‘Casanova’, ‘doll’ is one, ‘drooly’, ‘glamour puss’, ‘glad lad’ and ‘heaven sent’.” you responded.  Bucky took his hands off the wheel and applauded you, which you laughed.  

“Good job, doll,” Bucky grinned.  “Now I have two questions for you.”

“Which are?” you asked.

“First is what's your favorite slang?” Bucky said.

“I think ‘toots’” you answered.

“Second, use 5 terms to describe me.” Bucky said.  He wanted to know what you thought about him, but he didnt wanna ask you straight up.  He wanted to make you at ease and have fun with you before asking.

“Ok then do the same for me,” you teased.

“Fine, go,” Bucky agreed.

“‘Fuddy-duddy’, ‘hot shot’, ‘heaven sent’, ‘camp happy’ and ‘blow joe’.” you answer.

“Really? Fuddy-duddy?” Bucky sighed.

“What? It's true!  You are old fashioned,” you mocked.

“Whatever,” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Now you have to do it for me,” you fluttered your eyes to mess with him, earning a glare from him.

“‘Dreamboat’ obviously, ‘camp happy’, ‘a crack up’, ‘date bait’ and ‘divine,” Bucky said, looking at you with his hand still on your thigh.

“Aww you're so sweet,” you blushed.

“It's the truth, sugar,” Bucky smiled.  

You looked out the window for a second and saw something in the distance.  It was a ferris wheel.

“Bucky are we going to a carnival?” you asked.

“Yep,” he smiled.  You squealed and thanked Bucky till you got to the fair.  There were a ton of people there already, and you knew more would show up later tonight.  

“What time are we staying till?” you asked.  It was already 5:40pm and you and Bucky were walking up to the ticket booth.

“Till it closes, or whenever you get tired,” Bucky said, holding your hand.

“Till it closes.  I don't think I'll get tired from all the sugar we will be eating.” you admitted.  You both laughed and then you were up at the ticket counter.  Bucky bought bracelets for the both of you.  They allow you to stay for as long as you want and to go on unlimited rides for unlimited times.  They also cost a lot of money.  You tried to buy your own bracelet, but Bucky insisted on paying.

“I’m paying for dinner,” you insisted.

“No I am,” Bucky said.

“I am,” you bickered.  

You bickered all the way to the entrance, where you and Bucky stopped.  You stood marveling all the flashing lights and rides.  You already had a list in your head for what to do.  You loved how everyone here was happy and enjoying themselves.  You couldn't wait for night to come, because then all the lights would be flashing even brighter.  And less families would be there, which meant shorter lines. 

“What do you wanna do first?” Bucky asked, looking at the lights as well.  

“Lets eat, if you want,” you said.

“No, I'm always hungry too,” Bucky said.

“Great, because Loki took forever to eat.”

Bucky laughed as he took your hand.  You both ran into the fair like children as you searched for food.  You found a pizza stand and took two slices.  Bucky found a hot dog stand and took two ‘Coney Island Chili Dogs.’  When you saw what he ordered, your mouth watered a little bit.  Bucky took note very quickly.

“You know what doll?  You can take one of mine and I'll take one of yours.” Bucky proposed.

“That's smart,” you agreed.  You ate the pizza first and then the chili dog.  The chili dog took the longest, since you didn't want to ruin your outfit.  You had to lean over the platter the whole time to prevent stains.  

Bucky took a different approach.  Since the cooks put a lot of chili on the hotdog, Bucky found a different use for the access chili.  He took the extra and put it on top of his pizza, which you looked at him in disgust.

“What?” he asked when he saw you staring at him, food stuffed in his mouth.

“Nothing,” you lied.  He gave you a smirk, almost like he knew what he did, and continued eating.  He finished quickly, a little faster than you.  Almost like it was a competition, Bucky gave a little victory “woohoo” and you sighed, finishing your food.

“Congrats Buck, you ate faster than me,” you said sarcastically.

“Do I get a medal?” Bucky asked, playfully.  You chuckled as he took your hand, leading you further into the fair.

“Whats up first, sugar?” he asked.

“Why don't we play some games?  I don't wanna throw up on you in the Gravation,” you admitted.

“Sure, anything you want,” Bucky said.  “Which do you wanna play first?”

“Let's do the balloon and dart game,” you decided.

“This way, doll.” Bucky said, taking your arm and leading you to the famous game.  When you got there, not many people were there.  Only two others were in front of you, and they were fairly quick.  After they finished playing, the carnie saw you and got your attention.

“Hey there!  Wanna play?” he asked.

“How much?” Bucky asked, getting to the point.

“If you want three darts, 5 bucks, if you want five darts, 8 bucks,” the carnie answered.  Bucky got some money out of his pocket and paid $16 dollars in total.  The carnie handed you both 5 darts and then he moved out of the way.

“Ready, set, go!” the carnie shouted.  Then you and Bucky looked at each other, eyes full of determination.  Bucky threw his darts very quickly, and he only missed one.  Meanwhile, you took your time and got all five.  

“Congratulations, you two!” the carnie cheered.  “What do each of ya want?”  You and Bucky looked around at all of the options.

“Which can we pick?” Bucky asked.

“The miss next to ya can pick anything she wants,” the carnie explained.  “You can pick anything, just not something on the top row.”  The one Bucky was eyeing was on the top row, and he sulked in disappointment.  He saw a Spiderman inflate that he thought was really funny.  You found a small, tye-dye teddy bear that caught your eye.  You thought it was adorable, and you really wanted it.

“Bucky, if I get you the Spiderman, can you get me that bear?” you asked, with puppy dog eyes.

“Sure, toots,” Bucky smiled at you.  The carnie heard you discussing and got the prizes ready for you.  As you both said thank you, the carnie eyed you suspiciously, trying to figure out if you were dating or not.

“Any other games?”  Bucky asked as you walked away from the game.  You were about to answer when Bucky completely turned his attention to the mechanical bull a couple feet away. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I was the best at that in ‘38,” Bucky said.

“You can do it, it's fine,” you smiled.  “But I'm paying.”

“No you're not,” Bucky said, before he sprinted off, trying to get there first so you wouldn't pay.  You ran after him, but Bucky and his stupid super soldier serum beat you there.  He got the money out of his pocket and handed it to another carnie.  

“Good luck,” you said as you took the Spiderman out of his arms.  He smiled back at you and headed up to the bull.  The carnie counted him down and then the bull started moving.  At first it was easy, Bucky had his right arm on the handle to keep him steady.  But after a minute or so, the carnie made it a lot harder.  Twisting and turning at high speeds, Bucky switched his right hand to the metal one, for a firmer grip.  He almost fell off after one really fast turn, but his left arm still held on to the handle.  His right arm was holding the side of the bull and he was able to readjust himself in time for the next spin.  After five minutes, he was still on the bull.  Bucky didn't even realise the crowd that was starting to form around you.  Everyone marveled as Bucky wouldn't dare to fall off the bull.  People around you cheered him on.  Even the carnie was shocked and tried his hardest to get Bucky to fall.  But it wasn't going to happen. 

After another 15 minutes, the carnie announced that Bucky had beaten the record for the mechanical bull, but Bucky still wasn't going to get off.  People cheered him on, but not as loud as you.  Your cheers were fuel for Bucky and the more you cheered, the more he wanted to stay on.  But, he didn't want to keep you waiting the whole night, so after 10 more minutes, he fell off the bull.  As he walked out of the pit, people cheered for him, earning a smile out of him.

“Congrats sir, that's the best bull riding I've ever seen,” the carnie said.  “Here's your prize of $200 bucks cash.  Everyone give it up for.. What's your name?”

“Bucky,” Bucky answered.

“Bucky everyone!” the carnie cheered.  Everyone joined in with cheers and applause.  You smiled at him, full of pride and happiness.  Bucky smiled and planted a kiss on your head, which you blushed at.  

“How long was he on for?” you asked.

“Your boyfriend here was on for 32 minutes and 48 seconds.” the carnie said.

“Wow,” you said.  “You are the best at that.”

“I know,” Bucky said.  As you walked away, other guys had gone up to Bucky, giving him a celebratory high five or pat on the back.  Even some girls had gone up and tried to flirt with him.  But Bucky said that he was with you, obviously, but that didn’t stop the girls from at least trying to get with him.

“Now we have enough money to eat anything and play as many games as we want,” Bucky said.

“If you didn't win that, we might have had to use some of the money I bought,” you said.

“Impossible,” Bucky chuckled.  “Now I think we can go on some rides.”

The night flew by, and it was already 10:30.  Bucky had taken you on the Ferris Wheel, Cliff Hanger, Frisbee, Fun House, Wipeout, Gravation, Tornado and the Swings.  You tried to get him to go on the Zipper, but he swore he would never get on that ‘deathtrap’ as he called it.  As you went on the rides, you were able to fit your teddy bear into your bag, but the Spiderman was causing some trouble.  You had to leave it outside on some rides, which you thought it might get stolen, but that luckily didn't happen.  Then he took you on the Swings, your favorite ride of all.  And then, he took you on the Bumper cars, his favorite ride.  You both laughed and had fun the whole night, but he still had some other things he wanted to do.

“Doll, before we go, there's two more things I wanna do before the night ends,” Bucky said.

“And what might that be?” you asked.

“I wanna play the High Striker game an-” Bucky started.

“Do you wanna play that game to show how strong you are?” you mocked.

“Maybe,” he admitted and you laughed.  

“I wanna do the shooting game before it's too late.” you said.  “I wanna see if I can shoot better than you.”

“We already know the answer to that question,” Bucky smirked and you hit him playfully in the arm.  “But we can do that after we have some dessert.”

“You read my mind.” you chuckled.  “Lets eat.”

Bucky took you to some of the concession stands around the fair, which you both indulged in so much sugar that it would give you diabetes.  Bucky bought both of you a plate of zeppolis, your favorite carnival food, and you bought a bag of fried oreos.  You also bought a thing of cotton candy.  After you thought no more eating, Bucky came back with a bowl of gelato.  All of the hunger in you resurfaced and you and him ate it, licking your lips once you finished.

“That was the best dessert ever,” Bucky said.

“Agreed, now we gotta play some games, it's already 11,” you said, trying to get Bucky to move.  He grudgingly got up and followed you to the High Striker game.  Bucky pointed at the bell at the top, as if saying ‘watch out’.  

“Wanna test your strength?” the carnie running the game asked.

“How much?” Bucky brushed off, getting the money from his pockets.  

“For one swing, 3 bucks.  For three swings, 5 bucks.” the carnie said.

“Three swings,” Bucky said, handing the carnie the 5 dollars.  The carnie handed him a sledgehammer and backed away.  The carnie told you to move back so Bucky could practice his swing, and you did.  Bucky practiced his swing about three times before he was ready.

He swung his arms back and hit the pad.  He got really close to the bell, just a few inches off.  Bucky swore under his breath as he got ready for his next swing.  The next one was stronger, but not close enough again.  He grunted as he saw it didn't hit the bell.

“Cmon Bucky!  You got this!” you cheered, hoping to boost his confidence.  When he heard you, you were like gasoline to him, giving him the fuel to hit it the hardest.  He swung down for the final time with a loud grunt.  The little knob had so much force behind it that it hit the bell.  Not only that, but it flew off the railing that was keeping it in place.  You and the carnie looked at each other in shock.  Bucky took a deep breath, and looked at you sheepishly.

“What the hell?” the carnie said.  “Well, um, pick your prize.”  

Bucky looked around at the options and found one that you were looking at.  You were looking at a stuffed llama as tall as a counter.  The llama, in your eyes, was even cuter than the bear.  It had pink and blue fur in little patches.  It also had little specks of yellow fur.  It had a little smile plastered on its face and it just looked too adorable to be real.

“The llama please,” Bucky asked.  You smiled at him and gave him a big hug, your arms wrapping around his muscular torso.

“Thanks, Bucky,” you said as your head was pressed against his chest.

“Welcome, sugar,” Bucky responded as he grabbed the llama from the carnie.  You snatched the stuffed animal from his hands and held the toy in your arms, cuddling at.  As the two of you walked away, you heard the carnie in the background telling the people next in line “sorry the things broken.”  Then you heard an angry man yelling at the carnie, saying “That's Bullshit!” and “You just want to go home and not do your job!”  

You and Bucky laughed as you headed to the last game of the night, then you would be going on Bucky's ride of choice.  You ran through the crowd of teens and made your way to the shooting game.  This carnie looked cheerful, more happy than the others that you have seen.

“Hey there!  How's your night going for you two?” the carnie asked.

“Good, how's your going?” you asked in a cheery mood, still clinging to the stuffed llama.

“So far, no winners tonight, but maybe you and your boyfriend can change that,” the carnie smirked.

“Oh, we aren't,” you started.

“It's ok, you don't have to admit it,” the carnie asked.  “By the way, the game costs 20 dollars per player.”

“What?” Bucky asked.  “That's ridiculous for a damn shooting game!”        

“Sorry sir, I don't make the rules.  It's priced so high because you get a lot of pellets to shoot and if you win, you get a huge prize.” the carnie said.  

“It's ok, I'll pay for mine and his,” you said, getting the money out of your bag.

“No I am,” Bucky said, racing to his pockets before you got your money.  But you beat him and he sighed in surrender, muttering how his momma would kill him if she were alive.  You handed the money to the carnie and the carnie set up the guns, ammo and targets.  

“You can go first, Buck,” you said, nudging him forward.  “I wanna see what exactly I'm going against.”

“You're gonna regret that,” Bucky snickered as he prepped the gun, leveling it at his shoulders.  There wasn't a scope on the gun, but there was an eyeliner for him to aim.  The target was a big, red star, which you laughed at in your head since Bucky had a star just like it on his arm.  

Then, he started shooting at the target.  The objective is to get the star completely off the target.  It has to fall to the floor, off the paper completely.  Bucky shot at the edges of the star trying to get the corners free.  Then he circled around the star, aiming at the star with such precision that you got worried you would lose against him, and you hated to lose.  Then, after a few minutes, Bucky ran out of ammo.  The carnie pulled the lever, bringing the target closer for you and Bucky to see.

“You were really close,” the carnie sighed.  Bucky took the target and saw that he had gotten completely around the star.  But there was a problem: one of the edges was still dangling off the paper.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bucky grunted, running his right arm through his hair.  “This has to be a winner.”

“Sorry, sir.  But the star has to be completely off the paper,” the carnie said.  Bucky sighed and muttered something about how this was rigged.

“Your turn, doll,” Bucky said, giving the carnie a glare.  

You handed the carnie your money and he set you up exactly like Bucky.  Once the carnie was finished, he gave you a thumbs up and you started blasting.  You followed Bucky's example, starting at the corners of the star and working your way around.  You were careful to not pull the trigger too hard or else too many bullets would come out.  You had something in your head that said, “you have to beat Bucky, you have to win.”  Bucky was a master assassin and for him to lose helped boost your confidence as you continued to aim.  The star was starting to fall off, hanging off by a tiny edge of the paper.  But, luckily, you didn't have the same problem as Bucky, you had more pellets left.  You used those to your advantage and blasted the red star off the paper.  It fell to the ground, completely covered in bullet holes.  

The carnie stood there, completely in awe at how well you had done, and you still had bullets inside the gun after you finished.  Bucky was frozen like a statue.  His hands were glued to his hair, his eyes were coming out of his head and his mouth was to the floor.  The carnie gave you your target, and whispered to you “I knew you could beat him,” causing you to giggle as you scanned the booth for a prize.  Your eyes settled on a Captain America head.  Not a real one, a stuffed one.  You thought it was funny and grabbed it from the carnies hand.  As you and Bucky left the carnie said a congrats to you and hung your target on the wall with the other lucky winners.

As you walked, not knowing where you would be going, you got scared because Bucky hasn't said a word yet.

“Bucky you ok?” 

“Yeah doll, yeah,” he said.  “I just can't believe I lost.”

“Oh cmon dont be a sore loser,” you nudged him, making him laugh.

“Also I can't believe I fell in love with a girl like you, and I didnt even know she could hold a gun like that,” he blushed, brushing some hair out of his face.  He gripped your hand and led you to the ride he had been waiting for since the beginning of the night.

“Wait, you love me?” you asked.

“Why do you think you're here with me, doll?  Why do you think me and Loki are fighting for you?” Bucky asked. 

“Well… um,” you froze.  You had no clue about how you felt about Bucky yet.  One part of you loved him, the way he loved you.  But something else was fighting that feeling, seeing him only as a close friend.  Bucky sensed your nerves and held you closer to him.

“It's ok, you don't have to respond.” Bucky said, easing your mind.  “I'm gonna make you say those words before Loki gets the chance.” 

You laughed at him.  “I'd like to see ya try,” you sassed.

“Toots, just wait,” he smirked.

“Wait what ride are we going on?” 

“Well we are right in front of it, so it's a dead give away,” he said.  Without realizing it, you were right in front of the ride.  It was a dimmed ride, more like a boat ride.  The walls were covered in pink and red hearts and the boats were white swans.  The arches leading into the ride were hearts and three words were illuminated in front of your eyes.  “Tunnel of Love.”

“Oh my god,” you said.

“Cmon, it's not like anything is going to happen,” Bucky said, leading you to the swan.  The carnie controlling the ride took the stuffed toys and your bag from you to leave on the side.  She gave Bucky a thumbs up, letting him know nothing would happen to your belongings, but maybe for something else.  

You squirmed as you sat next to him, and the carnie buckled you into the ride.  A million things were running through your mind.  You didn't know if you should tell Bucky before the ride starts to not try anything.  You didn't know if you would let anything happen.  You didn't know if, even, anything would happen.  You assumed something would happen because, look who you're sitting next to.  Bucky was a ladies man, and he probably took other gals on the ride in the past.

“Doll, I assure you.  I won’t do anything unless you allow me to,” Bucky said, putting his right arm behind your back, for you to use as a pillow.  You settled into his body and then the doors swung open, leading you inside the ride.  

At first, there was nothing that would suggest anything bad would happen.  There was a little romantic garden, the one that would show up in a romantic movie.  There were little hedges and statues of Cupid with his love bow and arrows.  There were tons of roses and smooth jazz was playing in the background.

“This is music,” Bucky smiled.  The music playing tonight was mostly tons of pop music, which he hated and thought was annoying as hell.  So this for him was soothing.  It soothed you too, but not as much as it did for Bucky.  

Then there was another set of doors, and it led you into the next part of the ride.  This part was very dark.  There wasn't a lot of light, and it didn't look like anything was inside.  You got scared and found yourself leaning into Bucky more.  He didn't mind and eased into your touch.  

Suddenly, something, maybe a bat or something, you couldn't tell, popped out of nowhere.  Then a hissing sound and a scream played in the background.  You screamed and your head was buried on Bucky's chest.

“Hey, hey, it's ok.  It's not real, it's fake.  It's going to be ok,” Bucky soothed you.  He took the arm you were resting on and cradled you in it as you were in fear on his chest.  His right hand was rubbing circles around your back while his left was playing with your hair.  You stayed there, in that sense of comfort, that sense of belonging, that sense of peace, for a little bit longer.  You picked your head up at him, only to see steel blue eyes looking back at you.  They seemed like a haven to you, like a home that you could rest in.

“I’m sorry Bucky,” you apologized.

“For what? You didn't do anything,” he said confused.  Your faces were only inches away from each other, and you could feel his breath, smelling like sugar and cotton candy.

“When are we going to do something about this… unspoken thing between us?” Bucky whispered.

“There's no unspoken thing,” you whispered back.  At this moment, you doubted that Bucky was wrong.  Because this has never happened to you and him before.  

“Liar,” Bucky smiled, his lips only centimeters from yours.

“Prove it,” you challenged back.  The next thing he did took your breath away, literally.  He leaned into you to close that gap keeping you apart.  He kissed your lips tenderly, making sure you wouldn't back off.  His eyes were closed, savoring every moment.  

At first, you were in shock, frozen by fear.  Your eyes were open, trying to process everything.  But the longer he remained on your lips, you weren't doing anything to stop him, and you felt your eyes flutter shut.  You kissed him back, relishing in the feeling of his plump, pink lips on yours.  You were on each other for so long that you didn't realize that you entered the final room of the ride.  Then you and him separated, gasping for air.    

“Did I prove it?” Bucky mocked. 

“Maybe,” you grinned.  

And you leaned back into him.  You slowly moved onto his lap, for the remainder of the ride.  One of your hands cupped his cheek while the other was lazily tangling his hair.  His hands were gripped on your waist.  His tongue was stretching on your lips, trying to get in.  You obliged and your tongues danced together to some unknown rhythm.  You could taste the sugar on his tongue.  As you played with his hair, he let out a moan.  As he did, he could feel you smiling through the kiss.  

Then, Bucky peeked open his eyes and saw the exit approaching.  He didn't want people to see you making out, and as much as he hated it, he had to get you off of him.

“Doll, we gotta go,” Bucky urged.  You realized what he meant and before anyone saw, you slid off his lap and fixed your hair.  You both left the ride and headed to his car, eager to get home.

“Wow, that was amazing,” you sighed, settling into your seat with all the toys and your bag in the backseat.

“I have to agree.  You took my breath away, dreamboat,” Bucky quipped.

“Same, and you were a dreamboat back there as well,” you grinned.  Bucky placed his hand back on your thigh, and you placed yours on top of his, just like before.  But it wasn't to be friendly like the first time, but something more.

“Ya know, doll, I wasn't expecting to be necking,” Bucky chuckled as you drove off.

“I gotta say, you got a lotta moxie for that,” you laughed.

“You almost gave me the hots back there, sugar,” 

“Did I now?” you teased.  “Well too bad you can't do anything about that.”

“Shame.  Stupid bet.” he sighed.

“Oh wait, don't tell Loki about this,” you said.  “He will flip and probably do something to us.  Or you.”

“You got it.” he agreed.  “But if he does find out, or do something, what then?”

“To get honest, I don't know.  But you've still got one more date left to truly convince me.  And so does Loki.”

“I didn't convince you?” Bucky gasped.

“Not enough,” you teased, laughing at him as you drove home.  

Bucky helped you get the stuffed animals and your bag and helped you back to your room.  You took the llama, teddy bear and your bag back.  He held onto the Captain America head and Spiderman inflatable.  He gave you a kiss on the forehead before you bade each other goodnight.  

As the door closed behind you, you sighed, letting out a small howl, releasing all the emotions you felt tonight.  Your back fell to the door, and your knees gave out, leaving you against the door.

“Wow,” you sighed.

~~~

Bucky walked back to his room with a little pep in his step.  He was in a much happier mood than normal.  He was singing to himself and smiling all the way back to his room.  His hair was messed up, but he didn’t care.

But someone was watching him.  Loki.  Loki saw how messed up Bucky's hair was.  He saw the things Bucky didn't.  Like the lipstick that was on his cheek.

Then Loki felt angry.  But it wasn't even anger.  It was hatred, fury and rage.  It was boiling inside him and he didn't know what to do with himself.  But then, that God of Mischief mindset kicked in.  And he had an idea.  An evil, wicked, horrible idea.  One that would change everything.

“Oh, well,” Loki talked to himself.  “I wanted to play nice.  But you broke the rules.  And you know what happens when you break the rules.  You feel my wrath.” 

[crimsonbluemoon]

TerrorMoo: Wishlist

Okay so this got away from me. It’s way longer than I meant it to be. It’s also one of my favs if not my fav this whole Christmas Drabble series. It’s also making me late to Christmas Dinner. BUT thats okay, please enjoy! 

TerrorMoo: took kids to Santa's workshop and they both wished we would get together

Rasing a five-year-old was hard. Raising a five-year-old as a single father was worse, though Brian did the best he could with little Evan. It didn’t help that most of his friends were still living their lives without a care in the world, being kidless in their mid-twenties. But Brian had never regretted having Evan, knowing that the little munchkin gave him a purpose for getting his life together. Even now, standing in the long line with all the other children and parents waiting to speak to the man in red, Brian didn’t feel nearly as annoyed as every other parent scowling at their phones and watches. He let Evan mess around with the angry birds game on his phone while they waited, knowing from experience it was better than leaving his sneaky brain idle for too long.

Besides, he had something else to keep him occupied.

“What are you gonna ask Santa for, Luke?” It was a common question in the line, so it shouldn’t have really warmed Brian’s heart nearly as much as it did. But the pitch and loving tone in the words dragged his eyes to the duo next to them, watching the man smile down at his excited son.

“He’s not gonna tell you, Brocky,” Brian teased, enjoying the playful glare he got from his best friend. “You know him and Evan have some secret pact about whatever they’re asking Santa for.”

“Yeah, pops.” Luke sounded far too mature to be seven, but the childish grin he sported helped even out the balance. “We’ve got big plans for Santa.”

“Should we be worried?” Brock asked, and Brian knew why his friend was fretting. Neither were flowing with cash, though they didn’t want to ruin their kid’s belief that Santa could really give them the present that both of them seemed to want. It’d been nearly two weeks since Evan and Luke had proclaimed their need to see Santa, though neither gave a hint as to what it was they wanted. Though normally first to boast about his son’s intelligence, Brian had to admit it was irritating that Evan was far too smart to fall for slipping up and telling him the truth about their secret.

“Nope.” Evan only glanced up from the game to send a smile to Brock, Brian noticing how easily his friend melted under the look.

Despite having his own kid to worry about, Brock treated Evan like his own son, never forgetting to go to his hockey games or school’s show-and-tell despite having a very busy schedule. Brian wanted to tease him for the commitment if he didn’t have Luke’s holiday concert programmed into his phone and the seven-year old’s play blocked off on his work schedule. He supported Luke with all that he could, teaching him how to fish because Brock was more likely to hook himself than anything worth catching. In turn, Brock helped Evan bake cookies for his class, a skill that never came easy for Brian to master. When Brock had looked for a house to move into for him and Luke to grow in, the father had actually listened when Evan asked if they could find somewhere closer to the apartment he shared with Brian.

Brian had bought Evan the biggest ice cream sundae he could that night for no particular reason.

“It will make you both really happy!” Evan’s bold statement was surprising, given the current conversation.

“Kid, Santa ain’t about us.” Brian leaned down to ruffle Evan’s hair, enjoying the pout his kid gave him. “He’s here for you two; this is about making you guys happy.”

“We know,” Luke dismissed Brian’s comment with a shrug, then tugged Brock forward while pointing to the front of the line. “It’s our turn next.”

“Make sure that you use your manners when talking to Santa,” Brock instructed, Evan squirming out from under Brian’s hand to run up next to Luke.  

“We know, daddy!” Evan’s response wasn’t directed at Brian, but Brock, which made Brock sputter in shock while Brian burst into laughter. He enjoyed the pink cheeks of his best friend, leaning over to nudge his friend’s ribs through his snickers.

“Yeah, daddy, we know.” Pink shifted to red faster than Brian had expected, but he enjoyed the heat that slithered through his stomach at seeing Brock looking so flustered.

“B-Brian!” Brock hissed out, pinching his arm enough to make him yelp. “Don’t call me that, people are gonna think-”

“What? We’re just dads, nothing but two buds taking their kid to see Santa.” He knew his smile could get him away with murder, but it never seemed to work as well on Brock when he flashed it. Instead of melting like the women at the bakery of the cutie at the coffee shop, Brock rolled his eyes, pretending his face wasn’t a tomato when he pushed Brian.

“I’m going to be a good father and see what our kids are asking for,” Brock said, moving down ‘snow lane’ created for parents to hear what their kids wanted without their kids knowing. Brian’s grin softened when he played over the sentence, wondering why he enjoyed hearing Brock so invested in Evan’s Christmas wish. And if his heart trembled at the ‘our kids’, Brock didn’t need to know that.

“Wait for me, Brocky.” The other didn’t, of course, though he slowed his walk enough for Brian to catch up. Brian gave a charming grin to the cute elf woman who was holding the curtain open for the two of them to sneak behind, though quickly dimmed the look when catching a look of irritation on Brock’s face. Hoping his best friend could read the ‘sorry’ (though not knowing why he was saying sorry), Brian focused back on the conversation being had just beyond the curtain.

“Oh, two kiddos? To what do I owe the joy of getting to talk to both of you? I hope that you’ve been really good this year.”

“We were the best!” Brian’s smile perked back up at Evan’s answer, shaking his head despite his amusement.

“Except when you flushed dad’s watch down the toilet.” It was his turn to be stunned at the title Luke gave him, knowing it was his Armani that had been lost to the sewers. He could feel Brock’s shoulders vibrating from his silent giggle, and Brian hated that he knew he deserved the karma. But it also brought up a bigger question; when had the two started calling both of them dad? And why did it feel like this wasn’t the first time?

“It was for science,” Evan defended, and Brian could visualize the doe eyes he was giving the Santa. “Dad said I was really good at science, so I had to experiment!”

“There’s one thing we really want.” Luke’s voice, normally full of the confidence that only a seven-year-old could possess, was quieter than before, and from the worried glance that Brock gave Brian, it was obvious he noticed it too.

“Please don’t let the watch thing take away our only wish this year. I really didn’t mean to be bad! I told dad that, but he was so angry...I don’t wanna be a bad kid.” Now Evan sounded distraught, and it took every bit of restraint Brian possessed to stay behind the curtain instead of consoling his kid. He didn’t care about the watch; it was a loveless gift from his ex-boyfriend to ‘win him back’, and honestly, Brian should have flushed it down the toilet the day after he got it. But he’d been weak, wanting to pretend their love had been real, because it hurt to think nobody really could. So he’d kept it, even if it just sat like a rock on his coffee table. Evan had done him a favor. But like an idiot, he had snapped at his kid, and now he thought he was bad, because Brian was a terrible father-

A soft hand wrapped around his fist, Brian yanking away from his negative track, brown eyes showing he knew exactly where Brian’s mind had gone without words.

“He loves you just as much as you love him. You’re an amazing dad,” Brock whispered, squeezing the tightened had until Brian’s fingers loosened from the fist enough for Brock to wiggle his fingers between them. The comforting touch and soothing words from a man he respected as a father made some of Brian’s negative thoughts slink away. He took a slow breath, blowing the self-hatred out through his mouth before returning the squeeze, sending Brock a thankful smile before focusing on Santa’s voice.

“Well, I think that your dads have forgiven you if they brought you here.”

“Really?” Evan asked, hope and excitement coating his voice.

“I only get to see the nice kids. And you both seem like you made my nice lists. So tell me, little ones, what would you like Santa to get you?”

“We want our dads to get together!” Luke and Evan sounded like they practiced the words, both raising their voices at the request. The hand clasped in his own stiffened, though Brian couldn’t blame Brock. His own mouth dropped in shock, eyes wide despite not being able to see either child.

“You’re...not brothers?” Even Santa seemed thrown off, which would have made him laugh if not for the crazy turn of events.

“No, but...but that’s okay. I still love Evan like a brother.” Luke’s words were spoken like he was waiting for someone to tear down his wish, and Brian wasn’t sure he could stop the swell of pride in his chest for a son that wasn’t technically his. “And our dads love each other, just like all the other moms and dads that I see. They just don’t...kiss or nothing. Which we don’t understand, because they love us and they love each other! So we want them to be together for Christmas.”

“Is that so?” Santa seemed curious, not disgusted, which was a relief. The last thing he needed was to have Brock explain to their kids why Brian was getting arrested for punching Jolly St Nick in the face. Instead, the old man hummed before speaking again. “Tell me about your dads.”

“Daddy is super cool,” Evan started and Brian could tell from the title that he was talking about Brock. He’d stopped calling Brian ‘daddy’ almost five months ago, and now he wondered if there was a bigger reason for it than ‘he grew out of that phase’. “He lets me color on his workbooks, and he kisses my boo-boos when I fall off my bike. And he calls my dad and makes sure he has a lunch ready for the next day. If he doesn’t, he sends me home with leftovers and says ‘make sure your dad sees this for tomorrow’. Dad’s face gets super happy when daddy makes him lunch.”

“And dad’s always trying to get my pop’s attention. Even though dad’s really cool and I hear my friend’s moms always trying to get his number, he always says he’s married. But he’s not, I asked what married means, and he can’t have someone else be the most important in his whole wide world if he’s always with pops. He’s got all these nicknames, like sweetie and darling and other gooey stuff that makes me kinda crinkle my nose, but I get it. People in love say that stuff. Uncle Nogla said that dad does it because pops is ‘special’ to him, but he got all weird when I asked why.”

“Uncle Nogla is kinda dumb,” Evan supplied for the Santa, as if the information was important.

“He is. Except I think I know why now. Love makes people weird, I think.”

The words were terrible descriptions, and Brian wasn’t sure if he could meet this Santa in the eye after their kids were done, but they were...accurate. Too accurate to just be a kid making things up. His breath struggled to release from his chest when he tried to process everything happening, but then Evan was speaking again.

“And dad will throw a blanket over daddy if he falls asleep during our movie nights, and I’ve seen him watch daddy with this funny look on his face. Like he’s gotta poop but in a good way. That’s love, right?”

“Like pops is any better,” Luke countered, and Brian’s eyes glanced over to his wide-eyed friend who looked terrified of whatever Luke was planning to say. “Whenever dad sends him a text, he gets this smile on his face I’ve never seen before. He gets all red in the face when dad hugs him or kisses his cheek, but he doesn’t do the same with Uncle Mini or Uncle Tyler. He just brushes them off, but not dad. He always calls dad first, panics whenever anything happens to him at work, and when we moved into our new house-

“Luke, no,” Brock whispered, more to himself than for Brian to actually respond. The sweaty palm against his own tried to pull away, from Brian felt the unconscious need to be connected to his friend, so he tightened his hold to keep Brock from running away.

“-Uncle Scotty said something about you two moving in, pops said something about his dream life? Pops got all freaked out when he saw I heard, and said to ‘never repeat that to Brian’. And I don’t know what that means, but Uncle Scotty called it really sappy, and the girl in my class said sappy stuff means you’re in love.”

“You two have really thought about this a lot.” Santa’s words sounded distant, like he was underwater, but Brian simply tuned him out to focus on Brock’s pale face.

“Brock,” he started softly, hating the crushed look that crossed over the others face as he gave a weak laugh.

“This isn’t the place to talk about this,” Brock rushed out in a whisper, and the shimmer that was barely blinked away in Brock’s eyes made Brian’s heart ache. Without hesitation Brian crowded closer to him, his free hand capturing the cheek that tried to turn away from him.

“Hey, no, don’t do that.” He tried to sooth his trembling friend when dropping his forehead onto Brock’s, words hushed despite how loud his heart was pounding. “Don’t run away from this; don’t run from me.”

“Please, don’t do this here. I-I don’t want to upset the boys.” Brock’s teary plea proved what Brian had thought was going to happen; Brock automatically assumed that the feelings weren’t mutual. Of course Brock would do that; the man could never see just how amazing he was. Shaking their heads softly, Brian smiled, leaning down lower to make sure Brock heard the quiet words.

“I don’t wanna wait another moment to do this.”

He felt the way Brock’s breath caught before he kissed him, tilting the shy face up in order to fully press their mouths together. He was floored by how quickly the rush of relief and love poured through him, quick to overwhelm him at the soft lips slotted against his own. Brock didn’t seem to fair any better, melting against his chest as he fell into the kiss. A tear rolled over his fingers on Brock’s cheeks, and Brian soothed the soft sob of emotion with a warm hand on Brock’s back and his tongue quietly questing between Brock’s parted lips. The touch between them was intense, lust and love intertwined in longing and insecurity. It blended without warning, and Brian was sure his chest would burst from the sensation of finally, finally, getting to hold Brock the way he’d dreamt of for years.  And to feel Brock eagerly kissing back, pressing closer and pouring the same emotion into their connection was surreal. Surreal, but perfect.

Both men, too wrapped up in the kiss, missed the curtain slightly parted, two pairs of childish eyes wide with awe and excitement while Santa gave a soft chuckle.

“Looks like your wish came true, after all.”

It’s super sappy and fluffy and a mess but I love it. I hope you do too! 

[ramblingshit]

Jane Eyre - 1996 - 2/5

what even is acting. what even is a script.

wasn't gonna do this one but fuck it's aunt petunia and rogue. here we go.

lots of credits fairo. more credits. damn fukin eh - i hear you're a wicked child! lol hi. now we're talking about hell and where bad people go. 'keep well and not die' ahaha m8. fkn reed putting seed in that she's a liar. teach her at her prospects, don't let her come back, she's a lying little shit take her away from here. he's appropriately scary oh shit she's saying this in front of the priest. damn tear that lady a new one. unruly, obstinate, wicked, deceitful, man these people hate kids who act out. walks in and damn she's on teh stool already - IS THAT THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. damn she just got here and he's telling everyone to not trust her, she doesn't get to eat and has to stand - she's just done hours of travelling fuckin assholes. IT IS THE LADY FROM PERSUASION. shes got dark hair and dark eyes and shes like glaring at everyone like shes onna kill him in their sleep. lol enjoy helen while she's alive. eatin bread and cheese in bed like she's not gonna get crumbs. omg telling these kids how to stand properly what why this lady hate her she's gonna cane her for not washing her hands. bish doesn't even flinch go helen. 'cleanliness is next to godliness' alright crazy. this school is a lot more chill than most of the others - they're laughing and doing what they want as well as learning and playing games. making jane out to be a pro artist. oh no ol mate saw her with her hair out. no dont cut it. 'vanity?' shes out here with naturally long, red and curly hair and he's out here calling her vain? because he recognises it as lovely she must be vain about it? what a fkn dickhole get off your high horse sexist moron pig anus head. what. he's saying her naturally  iwgh what i don't even understand his shit - it isn't offending him thats the issue its her naturally occuring sin and vanity (because her hair exists?) that is the issue??  what. lol go Jane. NO. oh fuck go Jane go. this guyyyy. don't do it Jane. chin held high she only does it when Helen nods at her to. DAAAAAAAAMN. took of her own bonnet. if Helen's hair goes so does Janes. they stood together looked at each other and flipped their heads over for him to go snip snip, bish looked shock and actually stepped back in horror. What a bae. Helen's fkn dying send help. fuck this lady should not be working with children considering how much she hates children. o shit where's helen. her beds all rolled up. can hear her hacking away in the distance. yikes that sounds bad. jane be creepin. oh fuck she's a terrible actress even as a kid. who honestly thinks its a good idea to hire her. she lying in her dying friend's bed and she's breathing all over her. isn't anna paquin australian? no? ah new zealand fairo. oh fuck Helen's daed. she's trying to squeeze out tears ahah oh no. she can't manage it. anna go back to new zealand you suck at acting who hired you ever. Riparoonies helen. that was actually the greatest jane and helen moment i've seen tbh. oh damn cool transition as she walked from helen's grave - she went from kid to adult. whats this part down the midde all of them got. Miss Temple fam, persuasion lady, fantastic lady, crying as Jane leaves like her mumma. this jane is long-flat-faced with a long protruding jaw, and very tall and skinny. thornfield looks like its already burned down ahaha. straight up castle here. she's got her drawing stuff as well as her bag. nice friendly ol mate meets her and opens the gates - big ass square this is some game of thrones shit yearh this place is like medieval more than victorian. the middle parted hair and the curled twists behind her head they're pretty much exactly the same in most Janes. all chillin and chatting about this together rather than completely separate. adele actually legit sounds french rather than just pretending? noice. dreary, cold, dark halls. her room is bright and airy with a four-poster bed and bay windows and lots of very nice furniture. river runs beside it; enormous tapestries; main gallery with lots of furniture and paintings and sculpures all covered in sheets with windows open to let in light; the doors are very large and heavy. Janes got a very long neck she looks legit like a fkn swan lmao. ooh a rochester backstory. well-travelled, intelliegent, can't tell if he's talking in jest or in earnest, or if he is pleased or irritated, not a happy man. they're just walking about in his rooms. the sun shines bright but cannot reach them through the thick mist. they're very soft-spoken. god her head is so far forward she's like the alien - long ass neck stretching forward and then her chin and jaw stretching wayyyy forward. wack wack anatomy.  it's very dark and dreary. she's off for a walk leaving adele to do like 5 sums. oh she's been here five minutes and they're already meeting. the music is like ... not appropriately intense? he just sorta looked at her, the horse tripped over and then he was on the floor and she's like whoops uh you alright bro. he's outright lying and pretending that he's not rochester his hair is grotty he's got like no hair on top they've just tries to scraggle it. this is so stunted and awkward. i hope it gets better. he's very gentle and she's pretty nonexistent to far. my god very gentle man. what. is he even rochester? that's a german shepherd. noice. playin chess by himself by the fire lol. this movie would be made infinitely better by an actual soundtrack. they're all chilling together again it's interesting - adele and fairfax and rochester and jane. wait she's been here 4 months. it literally didn't show anything about her chilling here. she talked back and now he's grumpy lol. what a terrible start compared to like... every other first convo. isn't she supposed to be not great at piano and yet she's teaching adele -- wait now we're at another convo between the duo. this convo is the other half of --- wait now we're talking sketches? jesus she hmm what are they talking about she's being forward and fuck her chin twists forward as she speaks she kinda looks like the wicked witch of the west. he's judging her drawings like he can do better. this is a mess? the best part about this so far is adele.  there's no sense of time. adele is gorgeous honestly. she's pale and gaunt with bags beneath her eyes. wait here's the next part of the conversation. blunt and brusque replies from her. god they're so obviously acting its painful. they have no chemistry because the CONVERSATION IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. they've done it on pruspose to try stretch things out a bit but like plz EY why he scrunch up the drawing wtf. 'and remember the shadows are as important as the light'. dudes. these are private conversations? it would be alright to try it more naturally but they're just not the kind of things you casually say. it's impersonal and there's no intimacy. sit there and watch a kid dance to the sound of a music box. he's so grumpy looking. now snapping at the kid. he's annoying. like a violent dude he feels more like a nice guy quick to snap - definitely kinda unhinged. and now drunk. hmm i don't like it. she told him not to be mean to adele and he rages about her mother, 'you've made adele feel unwanted and unloved' damn this Jane goes for the throat. she's too good for him I can see it now m8. he's a psycho run. red flag red flag. don't like it. lol he wake up like huh.... oh look beds on fire... huh... well suppose i should sort it out... huh... fuck they're barely acting huh. do they even want to be here. how much are these guys getting paid. he's literally a drunk. and has she had a drink in her life? she just went for it? omg so impersonal - isn't he supposed to be already half in love with her by this point? camera angle just flicks forward and back as the conversation goes on and when theres action it just pans back to the widest shot ever lol just show the entire scene why give any emphasis or focus to anything who needs reaction shots and feelings of being in it rather than observing it. fkn ey. he's literally just an angry blitering brooding drunk yikes. he's staring at her tits? these conversations man... he definitely just said jade instead of jane. m8 don't tell me he didn't. there's more intimacy between all the servants and jane and feeling more like an actual squad living together than there is any feeling between rochester and jane. adeles got a frog lol cute. 'you're a fool,' jane tells her reflection. this music is so shit it's bringing everything down. rochester, who's been an unfeeling ass the whole time, holds her hand once and now she's got a big crush on him. she's very spirited - to the point where she could too easily be cruel. like it's not just a repressed forcefulness it's like a hidden rage. can see her going mad and chopping someone up with icy rage and poised pleasure. wonder if i'm in a mood and interpreting this wrong? but honestly. dancing rochester now? instead of singing. adele is glaring at Mrs Ingram who just insulted jane lolol go kid she's definitely the best part. the background people actually make this place feel alive and natural, completely unlike their FUCKING AWFUL conversations. jesus what. god could you have two people less interested in each other? i think this fairfax knows about bertha. there's a 'tapestry bedroom'? lol what does that mean. they're dancing, playing cards, piano, the lot. oh the walls are literally covered in tapestries, that's creepy af. theres so much blood my dude would be dead yo. will hurt like doesn't know how to act. wwait theyve skipped my 'fav scene'?? theyre shaking hands again, wtf is this. wait what shes just met stjohn n he;s the one telling her all about the reeds? petunias dying 'love me then or hate me as you will - you have my full and free forgiveness' - i cant forgive any version that misses that out: its so powerful as part of her character. stalking her while he smokes in the dark what a creeper. 'how cuold you be so stupid!' lol fight him Jane i dont even know how we got to kissing likr the movie is almost 2 hours and yet it feels SO rushed. literally took away all the secret courting and his sneaky declarations. shes a modern woman trapped in an old age.  she is so skinny. and with entirely stiff expressions. ew he makes me so uncomfortable. theyre not even trying lol. acting ey acting have u heard of it. just left jane at the altar like bye bitch.shes just in a giant empty ugly room. bertha is a very young and frightened girl but also very sick in the typical long white dress and long dark hair. god this guy is a whingebum. bertha understands everything he's saying. oh yikes lol she just whipped a log from the fire and went after Jane and Jane just put her veil back down with like a sigh turned and yeeted slowly away long ass veil over a white bonnet, silk cape thing in a dark hallway walking all miserable. she's outies lol he's just let her walk out? i love u and i love u. bye. bertha's taken another log from the fire and lit the wedding dress on fire along with the house ahaha. wait he let her leave the house then ran after her on horseback but had to stop after bertha lit the place on fire it started burning and we're actually seeing it happen? interesting. the house is burning, pepople are running, bertha's on the battlements and rochester is going up there to --oh fuck grace poole got yeeted over by bertha oh she's flying ahahaha jumped down to where she threw grace poole. rochesters in the fire. jane's off and racing. it's all happened at once. she went to stjohns, didn't even get dumped in teh marshes but down she goes after chilling in a coach for 3 days. shes been there a month. her jaw is so long and forward its creepy. again one fo the few telling her that she's wealthy from inheritance from her uncle. more backstory. she was deeply loved by her parents, now she's wealthy, lifes looking up but she's all upset after than asshole lol move on and be happy. she's hearing his voice on the wind like please chill. damn 6months. what. um. he's very awkwardly trying to propose? but its like the last half of the conversation with the first bit just cut out. so weird. she looks normal face-on. oh she decides after the proposal to go back - none of that chasing after voices nonsense. whoops that shit burned downnn. doggoooo is still alive. what a good boy. fuck me there's like no anticipation, no intensity, no build-up, no chemistry, it's so dry and cold and heartless. christ acting. act. acting. act. please. act. what is happening. act. she has the neck of a swan ol mate. fucking gross. their words are stilted, and not romantic in the slightest and especially not in their delivery. theyre walking with no kids but the dog but they're talking about the kids. oh my god. that was pretty fkn awful. like seriously not good.

[yeehaw-sphnix-blog]

!!!!!!!

sksks im so fucking dull and boring so this isn't gonna be interesting

tagged by @iffy-outlaw (ive never been tagged with like questions or anything so likkke HHHH)

rules: answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: i really don't have one. my name is keirah. everyone calls me keirah for the most part unless they don't so.

height: 5'5 or 5'6 maybe? somewhere around there.

last movie i saw: good will hunting w/ robin williams and matt damon jEsuS fuck is that a phenomenal movie

favorite artists: green day, the doors, the beatles, tool, placebo, pearl jam, twenty one pilots, muse, chris cornell, jack white, michael jackson, and many, many others. trust me.

song stuck in my head: lakini's juice by live

do i get asks: never lol

other blogs: i have an old shit one floating around this website somewhere but i don't remember the name. besides that, this is my only account.

following: maybe 80 or something i don't remember. i dont like following too many people. going through my tumblr everyday is a fucking pain and takes me like an hour.

amount of sleep: no exact number but all i know for sure is that its definitely not consistent.

lucky number: 111 idk why. always pops up in my life at the right time it seems. if that makes any sense.

what i'm wearing: an x-men t-shirt and some panic at the disco pajama pants. im a fucking child i know.

dream job: im not entirely sure yet. ive always wanted to pursue a career in the arts but im not very good at like music or drawing or anything like that. i would call myself creative, i know i have the potential to do those things im just lazy and unskilled. maybe music. but i also really enjoy writing, science, psychology, that sort of thing. i honestly have no idea. right now i just kinda wanna work at a subway. idk why. seems like a good job. i like sandwiches.

fav food: im a vaccum cleaner ill eat pretty much anything but i really like steak, italian food, anything that's awful for me pretty much.

dream trip: i've always realllly really really wanted to go to ireland. take my family there, be able to see all the structures and shit. if i had it my way id go literally every place i could in the world (as an american). i also would love to go to florida again. idk why i just love really humid, hot, gross, sticky weather. if its so humid that i stop breathing for a second then i am pleased. maybe go to new zealand, germany, and egypt one day too idk.

do you play any instruments: i play concert percussion. im not good. i mean i kinda am. i can sorta play bass guitar but like thats it.

languages: obviously english and a little conversational german.

favorite song: i have too fucking many. thats a post in itself. one that comes to mind rn is scared of girls by placebo.

random fact: there was this one time in 4th grade where we had to run around our gymnasium like 28 times in under 12 minutes (i think 28 laps was equivalent to mile) and i did and i got on the top runners list and i was really proud of myself and i have never gotten any sort of achievement for athletically excelling in something since then so that says alot about me.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: (i tried my best i apologize) humid rainy days, brightly painted mexican restaurants that you see in really shitty parts of neighborhoods (you know what i am talking about), the smell of antique stores, bustling big cities at night, shitty gas station coffee, a blanket that just came out of the dryer, the sound of someone screaming "i wanna big titty goth girlfriend" in an echoey cavern, itchy cooch, and sore kneecaps

im really sorry i cant take things seriously✌️🤠

that was alot of fun actually. also not gonna tag 21 people because not to be rude but i don't think there are 21 people on this app that i want to know more about and i don't wanna seem annoying so ill only tag a couple. plus i only know like 2 people so.. heh👊👊 sorry for breaking the rules not lol rules are for quitters and also sorry to bother the 4 people i tagged i apologize forgive me for my sins i hate inconveniencing people ok gBYe

@pollypocketlizard @basicallyreece @ohorthur @mailordercowboy

[glowyves]

Can you do small introductions on each loona member? Or i mean not all of them if u dont want ik theres like 27 of them but just little descriptions of what u think of em would be cute

a chance? to talk abt the loves of my life? 

heejin: you knwo that friend who like if u fuck around during the school yr and need someone to help u out w notes and getting yourself together bc u know shes always on top of her game? thats heejin. girly is an all rounder tbh she can sing dance and as much as ppl like 2 clown her for her rapping shes really not all that bad. LIKE shes just so versatile. she showed that thru mixnine which lol i didnt watch besides cuts but if u watch her performing on there and then see her performing with loona 1/3 it’s like complete opposites but she manages to shine no matter what like it’s effortless for her. shes such a sweet girl too i really do feel like theres a reason she was picked to go first bc she has such a likeable personality. shes funny, hardworking, humble (but not to the point to where she downplays her worth), and just seems like a real ride or die type of friend

hyunjin: MY BABY i hav such a soft spot for hyunjin and it’s hard not to??? she comes across as a little quiet at first and she acts like she doesnt care but she does u know she does shes not fooling anyone idc how many times shes told yeojin 2 shut up on camera i know she’d be one of the first if not THE first girl 2 be by her side (and any members side) if some shit went down. shes such a determined little thing too and when she has her eyes on something she goes for it no thinking abt it no questions asked she just does what she wants and thats something so impressive for a girl her age to be able to do. i feel like shes the type of person to just sit in the back and watch more than participate bc she doesnt mind if the other girls take the spotlight like shes such a chill, laid-back soul. i aspire to be like her. and shes so fucking funny really it’s almost criminal how hard she makes me laugh. ALSO she has the best reactions it’s a disgrace more than anything that i dont hav a folder of just her making stupid faces

haseul: the absolute love of my life? THE jo haseul?? theres a reason shes the member i latched onto the most at the beginning and ultimately kinda the member that tied me down to loona for good. like i was onboard w them from the get but it’s her that sealed the deal. i dont joke when i say she really is their guardian angel and no matter what u think of her in the comparison to the other girls u cant deny the fact that shes born leader material. she makes the other girls feel good and at-ease yknow. like she was always around vivi in the 1/3 loona tvs and u could tell it was like 2nd nature to her being by her side as vivi navigated her way through a country and language she wasnt all too familiar with. and like w/ yves for another example like yves if all facts check out was only w/ bbc for a three week period before they debuted her so obviously she wasnt familiar with any of the girls which is why she was so awkward at first. but haseul? bless her soul she did all that she could to make her feel at home. and she has such a beautiful voice i feel like not enough ppl praise her for it. also fuck yg for making her feel bad during mixnine she deserves the world and he can suck my big toe

yeojin: miss thang miss thang. what 2 say what 2 say. first things first shes a trooper. shes a baby i mean a lot of them are babies but yeojin is an actual baby baby i almost fainted when i learned how old she is. but despite her age shes so firm yknow. when shes doing things she wants to do them right to the best of her abilities and shes always striving to be better which is so admirable bc for me personally at that age i was a goddamn mess i couldnt be doing and juggling even a third of the shit she does. and shes right next to hyunjin when it comes to making me laugh shes just so loud and full of energy even 2 the point where i get tired watching her and im loud and full of energy but her being loud and being full of energy kicks my being loud and being full of energy in the ass. if any of that made sense. but theres never a dry eye in sight when shes in the room and u can tell shes such a joy 2 be around as much shit as the other girls give her lol i just feel real protective of her bc shes just so full of life and laughter and i just want her to be out here living her best life

vivi: it needs 2 be said that i have such high respect for any kpop idol who’s from another country bc theres just so much thats going against them. miss vivi is away from home away from her comfort space away from her friends and family away from a place where she can speak proficiently and fluently bc shes struggling to learn a new language and?? on top of that shes doing all the other standard idol stuff. thats some tough shit thats some scary shit but she takes it all on with a brave face and an open mind. and being able to slowly watch her build up more confidence in the language and basically everything else has been such an honor. like when im out here on my weak shit feeling sorry for myself i gotta think 2 myself what would miss vivi do? how would miss vivi tackle this? i lov this girl honestly i would die for her she does so much and i feel like not all of it is fully appreciated but she’ll have her moment i know she will and it’ll only be a matter of time before ppl see how amazing she is 

kim lip: giiiiiiiiirl. lip is such a strong person. like in all aspects. shes crazy talented it’s a little scary to think abt how much she’ll grow once they properly debut as a group and she gets more experience bc?? she just has so much going for her. her charisma is off the charts she can easily pull a crowd if her solo being a real big jumping point in spreading the loona name says anything at all. and shes such a good pick for the oec leader she definitely has those vibes like u just cant help but listen to her regardless of whatever bullshit she says and she says a lot of bullshit but do i liv by that bullshit and eat it up like shes spouting out the new testament u can bet ur ass i do. lip is definitely one of those girls that u cant help but be drawn to like u just want 2 be her bff bc once u remove her from the stage she has such girl next door vibes i feel like she’d be the type of girl u see in the club and u make small talk by the bar bc u made eye contact by accident and all of the sudden before u know it youve spent ur whole night w her and u hav her phone number and plans to meet up next week bc shes so friendly 

jinsoul: i make fun of her a lot. but w good reason: shes easy 2 make fun of. shes so quirky but not in the ironic way like shes really quirky and a bit of a walking disaster but it’s charming and she makes it work. even if shes not ur fav? shes still? kinda ur fav? even if u dont know it? if i made a list of some of my fav loona moments i assure u she’d be included in about 80% of it like shes such a staple to the group i really cant imagine her not being w them i mean i cant imagine the group w/o any of them but jinsoul especially. sometimes i watch loona vids knowing good and damn well shes not gonna be in them but i still end up thinking where is jinsoul?? bc not 2 speak for everybody (i will tho) but no one can get enough jinsoul. also her voice? i love it it’s one of my favs in not only loona but kpop in general. both speaking-wise and singing-wise. it’s just so pretty i really did astral project the first time i heard sitr & love letter. true out of body experiences 10/10 would recommend the yelp reviews are in shes 100% worth It. what is the It shes worth? idk but whatever It is .. shes worth It.

choerry: i just want her 2 be my little sister wow. miss yerim really has my heart. truly the embodiment of :) . shes so smily and has such a strong energy u cant help but like her. in every loona tv shes in shes making someone laugh or smile and it’s no coinkidink it’s bc shes really just that much of a ray of sunshine and u cant help but fall for her. give her some time i pledge w my life that once they debut she is going 2 shine on variety shows theres no way she wont. she has such good sense and shes so flexible. and if lcm is anything 2 go by shes able to switch it up and kill different concepts and sounds at the drop of a hat. def one to keep ur eye on bc u just know shes gonna go far in the future theres no way she wont she has all the tools in her arsenal to make it big no problem. does she resemble the annoying orange? yes and i’ll hate kim lip forever for putting that image in my head but that wont stop her shes truly a force to be reckoned with.

yves: my baby! u didnt hear this from me but i lov her a lot. she was kinda just thrown 2 the wolves w/ her three weeks of training i can only imagine how nerve wracking it must’ve been for her. here is an army of girls bbc has as potential loona members whove been training for years/knew the other girls who were already chosen as loona members/have even gone along for the ride with the chosen loona members to film their mvs and yet shes the one who was picked to be added after three weeks of her being w the company. three weeks !!! thats a lot of pressure but despite that she gave us everything she got. she was real nervous in the beginning anyone could tell when u watched her loona tv arc but she got over it and by the time chuu’s arc rolled around she was joking around w/ the others like it was nothing. shes so funny too but in an awkward way. like she doesnt mean to be but she says and does shit that makes u ?? and u cant help but laugh. her gig with marishe? i have never seen anything funnier like that bitch really took 100+ photos all w the same face and w the same three poses if that’s not talent idk what is. and i dont think it’s been confirmed in writing yet but shes gonna be such a good leader for the eden unit i feel it in my bones 

chuu: when i tell u my heart has skipped a beat over this girl. im not saying it 2 be dramatic im deadass. my heart has skipped a beat multiple times watching her whether it be a fancam or a loona tv or even a selfie. i’ve watched that little instagram update of her in her pig onesie more times than i want 2 disclose. her voice???? oh my god im in love with it. shes such a strong singer like STRONG and u can hear that in heart attack and girl’s talk and see saw but if u listen to her covers shes done before being introduced as a member it’s like !!!!! wow. and she makes a lot of noises. like just incoherent sounds and its so cute i could cry. like i dont have the attention span 2 sit and watch a vlive if it’s not subbed … but i’d do it for her just bc i love hearing her talk i love her voice on any and all levels u could love someones voice. and all her little mannerisms are adorable and this could really turn into me typing a whole mla formatted essay on how i find her 2 be one of the cutest girls in the world but i’ll spare u. and ofc shes not just cute like i said before this girl is talented and i cant wait for loona to grow as a group so she can be on bigger and bigger platforms for more and more ppl to hear her sing bc thats just how it should be

gowon: i lov her i lov her i lov her!! i’d do just about anything for this girl if she asked but i feel like regardless of who u are u wouldnt be able to refuse her even if u wanted to. i latch onto every word she says everything she says is gold. shes so giggly and a lot of that giggling is bc she probably feels awkward but it’s still real cute. shes also lowkey highkey gotta mouth on her like she’ll really come for ppls throats if she feels it’s necessary and thats beautiful to me. she doesnt get enough credit but as pretty as she is more attention should be focused on her talents bc she is a talented girl. her vocal tone is high and ‘cute’ but i think it melds so well w/ the other girls’ voices and theres a lot of opportunity there if and when they decide to create new sub-units/have more duet songs. and my girl can dance im tired of ppl overlooking her bc?? her pre-debut vids are a little stiff ye but theres so much potential there shes such a gem and i cant wait for her to grow more bc i know theres so much she could be doing w/ what she has

olivia hye: when she said love myself today let u go today? i felt that

[thechampagnelovers]

Can‘t believe it‘s been a week or almost a week since I talked to you. No surprise here I have not been doing fine.

But right now I feel less overwhelmed and I want to bring some positivity instead of withering away in my head so I thought I‘d come to talk to my fave person on here haha. Not but really. 🥺

I would love to give you good news but my week’s just been crap and crap warmed over. The only positive thing is that my lungs seem to take the inhalators well and my pain has subsided a lot. Which is a really good sign and I am clinging to that! God I hope your week was better than mine! A lot has been happening around here, so much to get lost in... Tell my things! What’s been on your mind? How have you been?

Oh and for the edit... Have you ever done a „The Tide“ one? I think I‘ve been through your edits but I‘ve never seen one. If not, I would love one with maybe some lyrics from that song? It‘s one of my absolute favourites from Niall so... The rest you can go wild on, whatever feels like my vibe I guess! Before you changed up your blog you had The Tide lyrics in your description too, right? Btw!! I love the new setup!!!! Beautiful, stunning, showstopping! 🥰

I definitely understand the situation with your ex. I wish I were (more) romantic sometimes, like have things mean a little more sometimes. So never feel down about that! In the long run it is the right thing andddd worth it! Also don‘t ever feel stupid for crying! Not on my watch. It‘s very natural. Although I should take my own advice I would never let myself cry in front of somebody willingly and I always regret it, you know? Agh I am a mess hahahah.

Oh god I hope you didn‘t actually do that hahahha. Maybe you even already know who I am! 👀

All the love, Beer nony x

beer nony, welcome back again! i missed u, i’m so sorry to hear that :( but i hope i can cheer you up a little <3 I’m really happy to hear about your lungs! hopefully things will get better and better from now on

my week has been uneventful, really. Not much happened, and i was having an okay day until recently :/ but nothing serious happened, i just got in trouble jdsfjksj idk i wanted to wait a little bit to reply bc im not in the best mood and you need some cheering up :( but i didnt want to let you waiting!

i’m working on the star wars fic and i have two ziall wips, and i’m also writing a louis pov of my last fic, but idk if i’m gonna post it or what. i’ve been writing so much lately, and i kinda enjoy it but at the same time i need to remind myself there’s no one rushing me to write fsjskd. i’ve been also making some edits and things, i made one yesterday for walls and i wasn’t really sure if i liked it or not but a lot of people did so :) 

besides that i haven’t been doing much, tomorrow i go back home and i have to organize my room and throw away a lot of crap jfdksjf but i’m excited about it. i like cleaning up, i just hope my mom doesn’t get too much in the way sdfjjdsk and i want to reread HP too just like we talked, i can’t wait for it

The tide is also one of my fav niall songs <3 it’s so special for me, and i love that you chose it! yes, i had the lyrics written in my blog name and bio, but i got a little bored and wanted to spice up things a little bit, but i looove the tide, and thank you <3333 i’m gonna make you something cute <3

you’re so understanding, and i bet you’re more romantic than you give youself credit for (this whole anon thing is very romantic fyi fdsjfhskjfl) ugh crying sucks, so don’t blame yourself for not crying in front of people, thats just not fun

I have no idea who you might be sdjkfksdljf i’m really clueless, i will prob never figure it out :P but its more fun this way, right?

love u beer nony <3 xx

[comicteaparty]

April 25th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 25th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Castoff by Star Prichard.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Castoff by Star Prichard~! (https://castoff-comic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

im probably going to go with frankie's introduction. this scene fulfilled several things for me. first, it explored more of the world in a super natural way that makes complete sense to the story and gives you a better picture. second, i super love frankie. he is a great character deserving of hugs. third, i enjoy how frankie joining the party works out. it felt like so logical how everything played out despite the difficulty in getting another person to join the party naturally.

just overall though i love frankie's addition. i think his personality is a great balance to vector and arianna's personalities since both are not the friendliest of sorts since one is super shy and the other super grumpy. and i feel like frankie perfectly fits the triforce

keii4ii

That triforce analogy is great and I agree

RebelVampire

another scene i really enjoy is the one where arianna captures vector. i love the lighting on the pages because it is so ungodly ominous and really sets the mood. plus, its the first major time we get to see magic and it looks amazing (edited)

but on the frankie train, i also enjoy how he offers vector something that arianna cannot. which is knowing what its like to be feared and kind of one-of-a-kind. cause i think this makes for a beautiful friendship between the two that offers vector more emotional support in a way than arianna can't. not to mention, one of my other fave scenes is the one where vector stands up for frankie against arianna and says nah my dude, hes coming with us. that was such a significant character growth for vector that hit me right in the feels. and i think it works cause of how vector clearly empathizes with frankie, so it all ties together

mathtans

Little one seems calm in her crib now. Hiyo, and awesome to have another creator who's a teacher. ^^

RebelVampire

hi math

mathtans

I made it through 5 of the chapters. My favourites in general through that is probably the "Wait, What" moments, just because I tend to use them myself... there was the one with Zera, about Arianna's full name, and then with Arianna, who did it about Frankie coming along with them. (Also, a hint that they're related? Hmmmm.)

Zera and Arianna that is, not Arianna and Frankie.

Good point about the Frankie and Vector similarities, incidentally. I wonder if the "Frankie" name is a riff on "Frankenstein"?

There's also the fact that "Vectors" can refer to small organisms like mosquitoes that carry diseases. I feel like there's stuff going on with names.

RebelVampire

nope arianna and frankie are related now. new head canon

arianna was also a robot this whole time

mathtans

It would explain how she died.

RebelVampire

you know what, i didnt draw the connection between frankie and frankenstein

thats a good catch math

and very fitting for the character

mathtans

Though I admit my own feelings about that are Arianna's got amnesia or something, which is why she can't be tracked.

Just kinda occurred after the dramatic reveal.

Also, since I teach math, I was already suspicious of the name "vector".

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic’s central character, Vector, has many mysteries surrounding him. What exactly do you think Vector is? Why is Vector seemingly able to do powerful magic beyond any mage? Why does Vector make everyone become almost possessed and panicked, and why are Arianna and Frankie exceptions? Why do you think Vector is wanted for treason? Is Arianna right that it’s a trumped up charge to get rid of him? If so, why would Alveria want him silenced? How do you think Vector wound up with Ms. Robins? Last but not least, what might all this have to do with the prologue’s opening scene?

mathtans

I got this. Vector's the guy who was tied up in the prologue, they were trying to use him to do crazy magics... and he wasn't the first, since it's implied there's others. But with him it went wrong and the magic ended up inside him. Arianna was that girl peeking at the door when it happened, so she's okay with the crazy eye thing, and it's why they thought she died. They want Vector back to undo the magic stuff, hence "treason" in order to get everyone interested.

Also, for Vector... coo coo kachew, Ms. Robins' son, Jesus loves you more than you will know. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

RebelVampire

math no XD

i also agree at least that vector is the guy from the prologue

and he got all the magic trapped inside him

and is now super magic baby

he is the living essence of magic

and the voice hes been hearing is the soul of magic

RumSoakedChicken

^^^

mathtans

Maybe it was a big plan to try to bring magic to the other parts of the world that went very bad.

RumSoakedChicken

but perhaps the yellow eyed one recieved a part of the magic

since i bleieve there was a lot of light paths coming off

and he was the first one we meet

mathtans

Speaking of which, massive props to starting things out with the failed radio-like device at the start. To put us into the frame of mind of magic. Sets the scene real well and acts as a misdirect later when you realize it's not worldwide.

There was actually a bunch of sneaky stuff then, like the mention of "Feron" ages and ages before it came up again. (Honestly, if the creator hadn't pointed that out, I'd have missed it.)

RebelVampire

i really need to go back and examine the prologue closely.

mathtans

I meant this part: https://castoff-comic.com/comic/chapter-1-page-8/

RebelVampire

ah. that is smart. good catch in details!

actually i take my theory back. reexamining the prologue, i dont think vector was the guy tied to the chair. but i do think hes basically an aspect of pure magic. and i agree that given all the light balls coming off the event, there are probably more of vector's kind out there(edited)

but since vector is an aspect of magic, thats why he has the effect he does. like maybe yellow magic is the magic of fear

vector was a yellow lantern all along

mathtans

Oh, that's an interesting idea. I like that. Since magic is colour based in this world.

(Zera is Green Lantern?)

RebelVampire

yeah see this is just an origin of the lantern corps story.

but i think vector being an essence of magic ties in all the dots. but rather than the voice being the soul of magic, maybe its the guy who probably got killed during that event.

mathtans

So how is Arianna red if zombies are supposed to be black lanterns...

RebelVampire

though if there are more vector's, youd think theres be more wanted posters. unless vector is the only one they never found

cause shes not a zombie probably

mathtans

There was no picture of Vector since he was just a wee one at the time. And I think it was said he was the only one with no image. The others they had pictures for. So if they weren't found, they're probably in hiding.

Probably amnesia. Zombie is a fun thought though.

RebelVampire

i mean its not impossible for her to be a zombie.

mathtans

An amnesiac zombie?

RebelVampire

another point for why i love vector and frankie's relationship though, if we go through this vector is magic theory, it means he and frankie are polar opposites. making their friendship more beautiful

best of both worlds i see

i can respect that

mathtans

That's pretty cool, actually. Do you ship them?

RebelVampire

i dont think i ship vector with anyone yet cause vector has to do some character growth first.

mathtans

Fair. (I think all I can ship is Arianna and Sonja. And the latter seems to have a thing for Zera.)

I do like Arianna's nickname habit.

kayotics

Popping in late to say Arianna is my fav because I’m a sucker for angry girls

mathtans

Hi kay. Cool. She seems to have had a harsh childhood.

RebelVampire

i wonder what her nickname for zera would be

maybe raccoon

cause of the dark circles

mathtans

She seemed to know him, from Zera's mental flashback. She was saying things were his fault. So maybe "jerkface".

RebelVampire

that is also plausible

actually tbf, double plausible

cause i doubt shes gonna be happy to know hes the reason shes wanted

whereas if he had just left it alone everything would be fine

and only vector would be the wanted man

mathtans

Yeah, puts a wrench into her plans. Whatever those are.

Maybe she's trying to find out her true identity. What with the amnesia.

(I should fix this broken record.)

RebelVampire

the plot twist is zera was what she wanted to steal back all along

QUESTION 3. Besides Vector, Arianna herself has some mysteries surrounding her. Who exactly is Arianna? Is she the real Arianna Marcel, or did she steal the name? If the latter, why would she steal it? Who is the real Arianna Marcel to Zera? What do you think will happen when Zera catches up with Arianna in his quest for truth? How do you think Arianna wound up on the streets as she mentions regarding her past? What do you think Arianna is after in the capital, and why was it taken from her? Ultimately, how do you think Arianna’s quest to retrieve her stolen property will interfere with her taking care of Vector and getting him home?

arianna is probably that person whose name got covered up by the speech bubble on that one page. and i think arianna took the name out of sorrow for missing who im just gonna assume is her sister. cause she desperately wished she was the one who was dead

mathtans

All you other Arianna's are just imitating so won't the real Arianna please stand up, please stand up...

I'm not sure which name coverup you mean, but I think it is clever how the art does faded bubbles for when someone's half unconscious or when someone's talking over someone else.

I do feel like Arianna's the real one though. And that she was the one spying in the prologue, as I said.

RebelVampire

i will try to find the page im talking about

the alternate is that she is the real arianna and the one who dies was her sister. i dont discount that

given the same last name i assume siblings tho?

in regards to the relationship between zera and her

mathtans

Tempting. Could be cousins.

RebelVampire

https://castoff-comic.com/comic/chapter-5-page-11/

that page bottom right

so there is clearly someone else with the marcel named that exists or once existed

mathtans

Ahhhh! So that's the mystery sister.

(Incidentally, been reading Chapter 6 in the background here. Elves are colour-coded too... makes me wonder if it's personality based or what.)

RebelVampire

i think when zera catches up to arianna hes gonna have a my life is a lie conflict and realize that whether shes the real one or not, he was never told everything about the death. cause the death of the real or fake arianna i think has a lot to do with why she was on the streets

i did get the impression the auras were based on personality

like arianna is super angry therefore gets the red magic

i feel somewhere it was mentioned real arianna's aura was pink?

which is why i do think this arianna is the sister of the real arianna. that apparently zera didnt care about at all. for shame zera. especially cause if i knew there was another marcel id be searching for that one to make sure there were no shenanigans

mathtans

Yeah, Zera said pink. Which is close, which is why I think she was just mentally tweaked a bit. Also, Arianna's eyes do the red glow thing, and I don't think that's necessarily true of others doing casting?

Starfish

Okay I’m back from class Will have to leave again in a bit but I just caught up reading everything and I’m enjoying all the theories

mathtans

Yay class! Next comes the grading. What a life. ^.^

Starfish

Ehehe, I’m technically an assistant teacher so no grading for me~

I’m an assistant ESL teacher in Japan- my part of teaching is mostly “get the kids to practice their English” via games and stuff

mathtans

Fair enough. Didn't mean to vector us off track. ^.^ Incidentally, I originally thought that maybe Vector's power didn't work on Frankie because he only had the one eye, so the eyepatch was saving him. Until the whole metal revelation.

biab

RebelVampire

ya know tbf that was a decent theory before the metal reveal.

im sticking with our arianna being fake and think shes after something of the real arianna's. like a magic gem or something. i do think down the line arianna is gonna have to pick which is more important: the thing she was trying to get or vector. and i think shell be a good person and pick vector cause shes growing and learning its not cool to sacrifice ppl for your aims

on a side note i hope we get to meet her merc company

im interested to see them(edited)

mathtans

Maybe they have gem boasting nights out. "Mine's bigger" and all that.

RebelVampire

i hope thats true somewhere in the comic's world XD

mathtans

It might be why people are annoyed at the elves.

Heh, "Best Friends plus Arianna", nice one. Made it to Chapter 7.

RebelVampire

i found it interesting that even the elves freaked out at vector. cause the minute they appeared that was the largest question on my mind. if theyd be effected or not

QUESTION 4. Of course, there are a few other mysteries present within the story. Do you think there is any story related reason only some continents in the world have magic? Why do you think Frankie, a machine, was created? Further, what is Frankie doing in Kardia in the first place? How do you think Frankie might help or hinder Vector and Arianna getting back to Alveria, especially since he’ll be aiding criminals? Back in Alveria, why do you think General Brisse was so critical of Zera? Do you think he might know something the others don’t? Overall, what do you think will happen once the characters are back in Alveria? Who will side with who on this matter?

i do think the lack of magic might be related. but i kind of think maybe its the opposite to what was already stated. and that the ppl in the prologue were trying to monopolize magic so they could be the superior country

mathtans

I think Frankie coming to Kardia is related to his injuries. Like he escaped from his creators or something. That's why they couldn't fix him and he had to do it himself.

Hmmm, maybe there's some big magic/tech war going on in the background and only the General is in on it. The magic people are temporarily undefended what with Vector having most of the magic bottled away, hence why their shield is only around their castle and not the whole capitol, and why they want Vector back - or dead, if that would spread the magic around.

RebelVampire

i considered that as a possibility. cause usually magic and tech are at war. and weve already seen evidence that magic users think tech is dumb cause how silly of ppl to want things that magic can already do.

but also math how dare you suggest frankie has such a tragic past

hes too innocent for that

and i have to go weep in the corner for him now

frankie was probably created with not good intentions. i mean i could pretend he was meant to test the legs of tech and see how far they could go. more likely they just wanted a robot assassin

am i the only one who things brisse has something to do with arianna's death? cause he seemed really critical of what is actually a good lead to finding a criminal he super wants. and i mean it could just be the last name thing, but i still get the impression he knows something

mathtans

Aw. I feel like all the characters have tragic pasts though. And when Frankie told his story, I did wonder why he had to fix himself up... like, did he maybe even kill his creator? And repressed the memory along with the defense personality?

I think Brisse is just pretty focussed and has probably read Zera's files. I could be wrong. Though it reminds me of Terran. I like him as a secondary character. Good puns, and good plans for circumventing things that aren't technically against the rules.

RebelVampire

yes i appreciate him having a loose interpretion of what he should and shouldnt do

i hope the creator isnt dead just for the story potential tbh

for frankie

cause thats just what they need

frankie's creator showing up to say "hey frankie what up"

and frankie can be like "oh noooooo"

mathtans

Twist, Frankie's creator is a zombie.

Still thinking about side characters actually, the scene between the bookstore woman and the priest was nice. Kind of superfluous at first glance, but it gave Vector more backstory and added more to the world.

Also confirmed not-dead.

RebelVampire

yeah i was intrigued by that scene. but tbf as a character ms robins is useful cause she can give us insight into whats going on in the capital outside of the royal guard

cause surely shell see the wanted poster at some point

and go wtf

maybe even try talking to someone

get thrown in jail

tell vector if he doesnt show up theyll assume she did the treason

i took that from happy to sad

very quickly

mathtans

That's a very good point. I hadn't considered that.

Maybe she'll meet them as they're approaching the city.

RebelVampire

yeah she could also be a key ally in helping them

cause for sure i think itll be obvious to the guards at a point theyre heading back to the capital

mathtans

She does seem very overprotective. I wondered about her reaction initially, as Arianna didn't seem so bad. Then, of course, she proved to be self-serving.

RebelVampire

after they get frankie his own wanted poster

mathtans

Wanted... for cuddling.

RebelVampire

wanted for being a great dude

mathtans

One other thing I want to mention before we wrap up is I dig the art style on the characters. I'm not quite sure what it is, the larger eyes or the hairstyles or some mix? But I like it.

Just don't get Frankie wet. He's like a gremlin.

RebelVampire

yeah i really love the art style as well. although what sells it for me is the magic. that magic circle in the prologue was beautiful with how it glowed and made me eager to see more of the magic.

but i might just be a sucker for magic circles

before we close out i do want to say i think zera will join forces with the main trio at some point

mathtans

Oh, I dig magic circles too. Big Nanoha junkie over here.

RebelVampire

cause zera does not seem like someone whod look at shady stuff going on and be like "im ok with this"

mathtans

Zera does seem to have a conscience. I think they'll butt heads first though.

RebelVampire

oh for sure

i hope terran finds something interesting in zera's file

like zera has a side career as a juggler once

mathtans

He finds... a magic square!

(Hey, if colours can vary, why not shapes. )

RebelVampire

ya know what, despite that being a joke thatd be very interesting

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Star Prichard, as well, for making Castoff. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Star Prichard’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://castoff-comic.com/

Star’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/castoff

Castoff’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CastoffComic

[curioscurio]

What did you think of Season 2?

im assuming u mean voltron, yea? well, im gonna put spoilers under the cut, but all in all i did love it!! this is long and HAS SPOILERS!!!!

Episode 1? Loved it. It was funny when it wanted to be and intense when Shiro and Keith were in trouble an,,, an u know,,, u know i loved every fucking second of coran screen time. my excellent man. as much as i would have enjoyed seeing him age w/o the mustache gag i thought it was pretty funny anyway! 

Uhh the mermaid episode was.. hm. like i liked it and i thought it was cute and all bc MERMAIDS but?? it seemed really predictable, and rushed at the end. I think that it would have shown more character development for lance and hunk if they figured out abt the whole brainwashing thing themselves through their own smarts. Like it would have been really cool to see Lance analyse and understand what was going on w/o rebels having to tell him/rescue him. Also imagine then he could rile up some supporters and stuff like it would have developed him more.

ALSO I AM ACTUALLY RLLY MAD THAT THEY REDUCED HUNK TO FOOD JOKES. like ok we know he likes food. but what abt his engineering skills? his foreign diplomacy skills? ?? his kindness?? He was very under developed the whole season imo. Also the whole “now the queens the good guy and the coral is the bad guy” was really rushed and like nobody would trust someone like that instantly after they had a bunch of proof they were evil. keep mermaid queen evil. 

also as an overall analysis point: lance was too hetero

Shiro’s escape was p good, but these teenagers hardly seem too upset that people have died for them and this cause and also that they’ve technically murdered sentient beings. 

The Pidge nature episode OK I DID LOVE THIS I THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY CUTE HOW PIDGE LEARNED TO CONNECT WITH NATURE!! Coran coran the gorgeous man  

Eye of the strom FUCK YEA THIS IS WHERE MY BOY SHINES. literally!! when coran had the Slipperies im,,,,,,, First off Rhys Darbys voice acting was amazing this ep. every moment that coran had in this episode was gold. the end. when he fuckign, ,,, super saiyan jump to slather his face across the last lens and jump behind the panels i laughed so hard. i love him. 

im so glad that the allura/keith interaction wasn’t romantic,,,, thank u,,,,,,,(keep it that way )

i have no critisisms on space mall i dont care if it was a complete tomfoolery filler episode it’s probably one of my fav of the series. it felt creative, while some of the episodes didnt. 

keith shiro angst and stuff ok. good development for keith, shiro not so much? imo? 

weblum had more keith whichi feel was unnecessary. and if u HAAAADD to have keith then like… hum… u know who really could have helped w/ that mission. Lance. after they showed they could work together in the pool? would have been good. but my ideal pair would have been like lance and pidge bc they barely interacted at all. 

the jailbreak ep was ok, finally some lance development (barely a smidgen) Im glad matt’s ok and eating right and his crops are growing. But im really almost sure that the guy the warden was torturing was Mr. Sam Holt :(((( if not matt himself somehow in a plot twist. or it could be anyone but my bet is on a holt. 

loved to see my beautiful shay

for the finale, i think the writers were under the impression that voltron wuld only get two seasons maybe? or some type of time crunch bc it felt like the planning of the weapon thing and the final battle seemed very ??finite. like yaya thats the end!! there were only a few last minute things that i feel left you on a cluffhanger or made you think that there was gonna be another season which was : Where are the holts? Suprise Haggar is Altean, Zarkon isnt dead, and Lotor. Most of these were kind of last minuite…The whole Haggar thing did catch me by suprise tho!!!!! Im really excited wherever that goes!!! Also i hope Lotor is a more developed villain than zarkon bc zarkon was the most flat and boring villain lmao. 

Uhhh i feel like im being super harsh here but overall i felt like the season was good!!! a little predictable and cliche but not bad. Im definitely excited for the next season!! 

Things I really want: Hunk, Lance, and Allura character development. I feel like Allura could have held on to that grudge for longer and her getting over it would have been more of a struggle. Hunk had no development, ot like in season 1. Nothing changed for him, he was really reduced to a joke, food jokes, and his size which is really, as a bigger person,,, not cool! Also im suprised that Lance got so little screentime with how popular he is. He deserves better.

now yall know i want a serious coran episode fucking uncle iroh tales of bah sing se style u know he had a kid in the original anime,,,,,, where is Garret,,,, where!! is!! Garret!!! 

OBVIOUSLY THE ANIMATION WAS BOMB AS FUCK LIKE I WAS  BLOWN AWAY AT HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS HOLLLYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIITTTTT!!! IF THE STORYTELLUING MATCHED THE ANIMATION FUCK BOIIIIII. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! 

[survivorelsalvador]

EPISODE 1 - An Army Of Porn Pete (TM) - Josh (Camp)

(If a confessional is just a gif or a picture then it was most likely Veronica, winner of Jeju Island, uwu <3)

WILLA

One world? This is going to be an iconic mess and I can't wait to see how this turns out.

WILL

Will she decapitate me or will we work together: The Regan/Will love story begins all over again (for when these go public I have nothing against you Regan you're a queen in my eyes)

DANA

How quickly are you trying to kill me. First of all: I literally know 99% of these people and am playing in Athena with them right now, which makes my game in each more complicated. On my tribe: Me, Chris, Willow, Willa, and Austin The only person I don't know is Austin. I'm aligned with Willa in another game and was aligned with Chris in the same game. Willow and I were friendly in Solomon Islands. Hopefully this puts me in a good spot. Other than that, going through the rest of the cast on other tribes: Playing with in Athena right now: Adrian, Kai, Lily, Jaiden, and Nicholas. I'm in an alliance with all of them except Adrian (who might not like me after tonight). From Solomon: Zakriah, my literal child and snapchat streak buddy. He's also vv close with Willow, so this is good. Potential alliance? From Great Lakes: Kyle and Ashton. Idk Ashton AT all. We were never on a tribe together. Heard he's pretty good at orgs though. Kyle and I didn't super get along in GL. I voted him as first merge boot, he voted me, and I went home. I've also heard a lot about Regan and i'm excited to meet her. Basically I know/ have a relationship with half of the cast, so this should be INTERESTING. I'm excited.

JAKE

So the game hasn't even officially started yet and I formed a tight bond with Kyle and Lexi. I feel that we all relate to each other pretty well, so I like where this is going.

LEXI

Ok so i already have an alliance with ribsor and jake. I know jake from a mini we played together and we bonded right away. I also know regan,austin and jaiden from the other tribe. I have a good relationship with all 3 so that made me happy seeing them. I hope they can stay and fight until merge. Heck i hope i can stay and fight until merge. this is a small tribe so thats alittle scary. Also this one world crap aint working for me. I cant talk to that many people and keep up. I'm in another tumblr game and hosting a skype org...so its hard to keep up. But i try my hardest and im just glad i got in an alliance already.

WILL

I actually feel pretty good so far like I think I'm on the good side of mostly everyone on my tribe - two of them played with me before two of them don't know me - and I'm already sensing some tension between certain people so like... this will be a good one lol. Plus I have Nicholas on my side through one world and I've made some other lowkey connections so it's all going great for the first day

KAI

Been a pretty quiet day, no ones really spoken much so kinda worried but oh wwll

JOSH

OKAY.  Hello.  I'm here to confess and such for the round since I haven't just yet.  I'm feeling pretty okay on my tribe so far?  I know Regan from previous experiences and we're friends and I think that Jaiden knows he isn't super popular so he'll rely on me to kind of keep him safe?  I"m talking with Will a lot and I enjoy him so I'm glad to have him here.  The only person I'm not feeling really great about is Zakariah so far?  I'm not sure how close he is with other people, so I have to wary about just throwing his name out.  But, if I had to choose someone to be at the bottom of the totem pole on our tribe.. It'd be him.  He's not super active.  I can also see Jaiden being a bit of a flop and being first to die, so I'm just going to kind of figure out where people STAND here right now and figure it out later.  Because I don't imagine us being on these tribes of five for too long, so I just need to make sure that I do my best to survive here while I still can. I'LL HAVE MORE THOUGHTS AFTER I TALK MORE STRATEGY BUT I NEED TO WORK ON IMPROVING MY SCORE

DANA

my new aesthetic in games is to just talk to the hosts in host chat instead of the players because i love them more. <3 Rob

WILLOW

I'm just gonna do a cast assessment rn bc why not Dana- Ahh we played in Solomon together and I love her, she's so sweet! Austin- We talked a lot last night and he's really nice, and has a good taste in survivor opinions Chips- Hasn't messaged me back yet and has only talked in the tribe chat twice Willa- Seems cool, but didn't talk to me for very long Also I'm confused about what happened during the "fight" in One World Also One World is too much at the beginning so I might just stick to talking to the people on my tribe first, and then once theres a swap I'll start talking to the other people idk.

ADRIAN

Whew El Salvador! Que tal chicos y chicas? Me llamo Adrian y yo soy no esperando nada mas por el juego para comenzar! Like this tribe a lot and really, I see 2 people from other games that are running side by side on my tribe, and really its cool to see that people are willing to work with me. But there is the downside of having people being inactive on the Apopa tribe, and really I'm not ready for shit like that to happen so quickly. 

Of course it would be One World this season. I see alot of familiar names and faces and I'm already thrilled to start this game, until I see Regan. Is it possible to hate a bitch because of how negatively she rubs people upon meeting them? Wait, hold that thought. Yeah. Its very possible. 

Its not even the end of Day 2, and already this bitch is asking for me to rip her head off. Like I don't give a flying fuck. Don't slander my name when you don't know me either. Fuck. Seriously, don't go preaching shit you won't practice. Regan's asking for a verbal beatdown, in English and in Spanish. 

Keep it up Regan, and I will end you before you have a chance to be on a tribe with me. I am not someone to fuck around with and I don't care how many people would say that I should apologize to her. I guess I can't play more subtly now cause I just ended the living shit out of her. Oh btw, she can have her wig back. There's like pieces of scalp like attached to it. 

(Note: Each paragraph was its own confessional)

DANA

My tribe is killing me with this challenge. Why did none of them start until like 7hrs before it is due when none of them know any Spanish and this challenge is semi-all about putting in time. Me right now: trying to make up for literally everyone's scores on my tribe. Quick assessment of my tribe? (Even though I knew everyone except Austin before we got here) Austin: Putting in a lot of effort to be friendly, which is good. Probably will want to work with him honestly but betraying someone I am already friendly with to do this will be hard. Chips: Isn't speaking to anybody. Why? Idk ur guess is as good as mine honestly. Willa: Honestly a fav. He better want to work with me here. Willow: My queen. My thoughts on one world? IT IS HYSTERICAL. Pls bring Regan back so she and Adrian can fight more and I can intervene with lighthearted comedy. Honestly I love problems and drama, sign me up pls. 

LILY

Hi! So I don't know what I'm doing playing two games cause it ain't my style but I'm trying. So far I really like jake on my tribe because he is also a Michigander and that makes you awesome. I also like will a lot but he isn't on my tribe sooooo. Yeah. Also I suck at Spanish. So yeah.

AUSTIN

I know nobody on my tribe. So far I want to work with Willow and Dana!! Honestly I'll probably be the first boot but my goal is to make the tribe swap I guess. I know Lexi ribbons and Jake I hope I play with them :)

WILLA

Dana is a lesbian? oh cool

JAIDEN

I have nothing to tell the world about my experience... yet.

MICHEAL

Dana is a lesbian which is not a suprise i mean have you seen her profile pic anyway in the game i made no connections i know what a great way to start the game but tonight i plan on making them

NICHOLAS

KAI

WOOO! WE WOOONNNN! That's pretty awesome!

RREGAN (That’s how she spelled it in the confessional hehe)

im perfect ill send one after bbhell ty

ASHTON

Well ugh life is good. This game on the other hand I have no idea what's going on. I've talked to richie cuz i knew him already but that's about it. Overall i'm happy im not gonna be first boot but pretty sure i'll be gone soon lol

RICHIE

who am i if i dont start off the game with my first confessional saying "i hate this fucking tribe!!!!!!!!" i've been out doing things for the last 3 days so i havent gotten a chance to do anything or really talk to anyone but i just played the duolingo immunity challenge before i went to sleep and when i was on the bus and train going to my friends lmao i didnt realize that i was the only one who was actually putting effort into it and thats sad because i really didnt play much but i guess the rest of my tribe is just full of flops!!! ashton i played with before we didnt talk much and we voted for eachother but i like them hope we can talk kai i talked to a little but like..... that needs to be worked on michael is the biggest flop ive ever met they are perfect first boot material if i leave before them i'm never playing another game and nicolas seems cool thats it! uneventful first week my social game is weak nothing happened not much to report but whew

KYLE

this host sucks

NICHOLAS

hello i am excited for this game but my tribe is dry as fuck besides richie