#and then didn't date until my late 20s lmao

[teddylacroix]

@jonmartinweek 2023: Day #4: Ace day!!!

Happy Asexuality Day, Jon!! Happy Asexuality Day, fellow aces!!!

International Asexuality Day: Jon-only

Day 3: Victorian times // Confessions

Day 2: Monsters // Office romance

Day 1: Scars // First day in the safehouse

[br1ghtestlight]

because today is @seemoreseymoursbay minor and one-off character day i thought that i would share some of my thoughts and analysis on lily's younger brother ernest lombard. since he is a one-off character from season three and i have thought about him more than ANYBODY else in this fandom and that's a promise lol

he's five years younger than lily and alice got pregnant w/ him after billy returned from the war and they were kinda having a honeymoon 2.0 phase since she was so happy her husband was alive and safe. he was born in 1946

lily was VERY protective of her baby brother. he got picked on a lot by the neighborhood kids bcuz he was nerdy and kinda weak/feminine but because lily was older and not afraid of ANYTHING she would stand up for him against everybody at school and in their neighborhood. very louise and gene vibes in that sense (except lily actually is older than ernest lmao)

only alice and lily (and later bob when was born) called him ernie/uncle ernie. he did NOT like being compared to the sesame street character especially when he was a teenager. HE IS NOT A MUPPET >:(

he was more nerdy and shy/sensitive and kept to himself. not many friends outside of his sister and he mostly spent his childhood reading comic books and playing by himself in his bedroom. his parents were very understanding and supportive of him since they were both pretty progressive for their time in terms of gender roles

he LOVED superhero comics when he was a kid. still a secret passion of his as an adult and he collected them

he was devastated when his older sister moved away from home especially because he was going through his angsty high school years and he really needed her. they still phoned each other and wrote letters everyday and lily would visit when she was able <3

he was gay and it was really tough for him growing up in the 1950s and 60s with homosexuality not even being legalized. his family was as supportive as could possibly be expected for the time period (they didnt disown or abuse him) and lily didn't think any different of him when he told her (but she told him to kinda keep it on the down low for his safety) fortunately he lived in new york city so there was a bit of a community for him

he had a long term boyfriend throughout the 70s and 80s but unfortunately he died from aids/hiv during the crisis :( ernest never got into another relationship after that and that's why he died single with no kids. he also lost a lot of friendships it was really hard. poor guy!!!

never got along w/ big bob as he always felt that he was too cold/unloving/didnt talk enough and that he was stealing ernest's older sister from him (they started dating when ernest was like..... 14 so that teenage angst was expected) big bob would never be good enough for lily in his mind

he moved to new jersey with his bf when they were in their late 20s to be closer to lily & bob which is where he stayed until he died

he LOVED being an uncle and thought bob was so cute and funny and reminded him so much of himself at bob's age. absolutely adored the kid. unfortunately he stopped coming around as much when lily got sick so bob doesn't have too many memories of him :(

lily's death was really hard for him and he basically stopped talking to bob and big bob entirely after she died bcuz the reminder was too painful. bob tried to stay in contact but he was also a teenager so they just kinda..... fell out of touch. they hadn't talked in years when ernest died

he was always very empathetic and understanding towards people seen as different/unwanted by society due to being gay himself so he had a lot of sympathy and always tried to support homeless people drug addicts and the mentally ill etc. our differences do not define us type guy. he volunteered a lot at the homeless shelters after he retired and that's part of why he let chet stay in his storage unit for all those years (although chet actually WAS a seasonal employee at his department store) he felt real deep love and empathy for him </3 also protested the vietnam war with his big sis. very anti-racism compared to what was expected of white people at the time

always very quiet and socially awkward. it is true that bob got a lot of his personality from big bob but he got an equal amount from ernest tbh he just never knew him well enough to realize that about himself

tina also shares a lot of traits w/ ernest and had they known each other when he was alive i think they would have gotten along really well. he would have loved her erotic friend fiction and he actually wrote his own superhero comic fanfiction before that was an actual thing that ppl had a word for

always loved drawing but never very good at it. you could find doodles ALL over his tax stubs and receipts from work

he had a brief dream of becoming a comic book artist and he read all the new peanuts and archie comics when they released. billy would always bring them home from work for him to read

when he died he left pretty much everything he owned (which was.... not very much. he definitely wasn't very financially well-off after they bought out his department store to build the mall) to bob bcuz he was basically the only family that he had that was still alive. he never knew bob had kids but he did know about linda

he died of a heart attack in his 60s and nobody even found his body for a few days. his later years were very lonely

[fuck-customers]

Pls tell me someone else has been through something similar.

TL;DR: Paid for a strangers groceries. Got asked out by him through his friend. Denied coz Idk why he did that & uh... he was deff not femme presenting so not my preference (& I still feel bad about it lmao). 🥲 #rip

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

I don't hate this customer, but I constantly wonder if anyone has had a shared experience like this so if you have, PLEASE leave it in the comments (or reblogs).

(*Shared experience as in... a stranger/customer asking you out for something you did for them while on the clock or something you showed them at work that's a work perk.)

When I was a cashier at the american grocery store "English en Español", I was in a low income area. I constantly had cis men hitting on me for no valid reason, as I'm not the socially accepted aesthetic for "attractive" (probably because it was a small town so there wasn't much selection & I live in cities so I dressed/acted differently than most? Idk. I'm a transman, pre-t & pre-surgery, but present as femme for safety reasons, espec in small towns). I often didn't notice until coworkers told me after they had left or until the man, himself, told me straight up. It was common enough that we had a signal bc apparently I suck at picking up on people hitting on me. NO ONE working that night signaled for this one, despite several of my coworkers seeing this.

So needless to say, I did NOT see this coming.

There was a guy with two girls checking out their groceries at my register. It was late at night, close to closing. When it came to the guys portion of the groceries, he split things up to afford everything. (I feel that lol.) His card declined on the last part. He was maybe $25ish(?) short (idr exact amount). He asked to take off a few things & I was like "Wait, wait." & jumped around & slid my own card & paid for his stuff. At that time (about a decade ago) my finances were mostly stable. I was doing what I could for anyone who needed it. It wasn't abnormal for me to pay for people whose groceries got declined by under $50 if I had it that month. I was stuck at a grocery store all day & people quite literally need food. It's the *least* I could do while financially stable, yknow? He wasn't someone I singled out... just someone else I managed to have the privilege of helping.

But this guy looked like he was both a) about to cry & b) incredibly embarrassed. He barely whispered thank you to me before grabbing everything & RUNNING out the door. His two friends thanked me profusely & followed him out *normally*. Lol.

I didn't have anyone else to check out coz it was almost 10pm at that point, so I was just vibing at my register. Maybe 5 whole minutes later (yes, THAT LONG) one of the girls the guy was with comes back in & runs up to my register.

I didn't say anything coz I was confused. Why is everyone running? Why does everyone have so much energy? Jeeze. 💀

She said, quickly & excitedly, "Remember the guy you just saw that you paid for his groceries?"

Me: "👁👄👁... yeah?"

Her: "Well, he wanted to know if you wanted to go out with him. Like, on a date."

Me, confused, not knowing what to say, stalling: "Uhhhhhhm."

In my mind, I'm thinking: 'Why would he want that? Because I paid for his groceries? Does he think I'm one of those dommes that gives money to their subs? Oh no. I'm a sub, not a dom! Maybe he just thinks I'm nice? Oh god, he's gonna find out I'm NOT nice if we date... but I really only like femme presenting people. How tf do I say that in a small town where I don't want that to get out? I don't know what's happening here, but-"

Me, without hesitation: "Sorry, but ...I like women?"

Her: "👁👄👁... Was that a question?"

Me: "...No?"

Her: "... 👁👄👁 ...Okay, I'll tell him. Thanks!"

Again, with the running. Running out the door. To the car. They looked about the same age as me. Early 20s. Like... where are they getting this ENERGY??? 😭

He NEVER came into the location I worked at again while I was there for 3 years lmao. The two girls did. Ik he lived in the area. This was before the time of grocery delivery. So uh... I feel awful lol.

I also feel awful because I never really say no to anyone in that context or break up with anyone. I always force *them* to say no or break up with me so that I don't have to do it. 😅 I'd never in a million years lead anyone on coz that's completely unfair, but I really just need the other person to do it & I couldn't in that situation so it still sits in the back of my mind like, "oh my god what have I done" kind of catastrophic thoughts spiraling from there. Meanwhile, he probably doesn't even remember I exist. 💀

So rip to me, I guess.

Please tell me someone else has had some kind of interaction where a stranger/customer has asked you out or tried to get with you based on something you did (or did for them) on the clock or a work perk you showed them/they saw. 😭 Pls make me feel less alone in this lmao.

Also make sure to give the follow up tea! Did you go out? Did it work? Are you married? ☕️ 🦊

When I was 19 I gave a lady a coupon for money off (I'm 50 I forget how much it was for.) and this lady tried to hook me up with her 13yo daughter. I dunno if that counts.

-Rodney

[panlight]

I know you did astrological charts and the birthdays of the Cullens a while back (btw I want to see an updated version in case your opinions changed becuz mine have lol) but I'm pondering those of Bella, Edward, and Jacob. (Also if Ren was a "normal" pregnancy what could her sign be?) I know canon has them as Virgo, Gemini, and Capricorn respectively, but I feel like at least one of those signs isn't very accurate. I'm especially conflicted about Jacob as I did research on the 12 signs but it didn't connect. Your thoughts? Any new headcanons for the main trio and/or the Cullens?

I don't really know enough about the common traits of the signs off the top of my head to say. I'm not so much an astrology girl in real life, but I think it's fun in fiction as a tool to help flesh out a character. Pick a birthday and look up the astrological traits and pick some of those for your character, etc. Or, to work backwards when the author didn't give any of the major secondary characters birthdays to try and pick one for them based on traits. That's sort of how I settled on Feb 18 for Carlisle. We knew he "recently" had a birthday when Bella visits the house in March, so his birthday would be presumably in March or the later half of February. Feb 18th puts him on the cusp of humanitarian Aquarius and compassionate Pisces so that seemed like a good fit.

I think Virgo broadly works for Bella; they're practical, useful, hardworking, can be judge-y and perfectionistic. They aren't super creative or artistic, but they get stuff done but are prone to stress for all the pressure they put on themselves.

Edward's a Gemini (Jun 20) but on the cusp with Cancer, so he could have traits of both. From one website: "Gemini-Cancer cusps are playful, sensitive, romantic, and intelligent. They're highly perceptive and are more emotional and sentimental than they outwardly seem." I mean other than maybe playful (he has his moments but overall takes everything Super Seriously) that's not a terrible surface description of our vampire Romeo.

Jacob's a Capricorn (Jan 14). In descriptions I see a lot of words like persistent and loyal, which works. Negative traits like arrogant and controlling, which could fall into his post-wolfening character shift I guess. They aren't conventionally romantic but show affection and love with smaller gestures. He's not saying Bella is his life now or his life has no meaning without her, but he gives her candy hearts and warm sodas and spends time with her when she needs his sunny presence.

If I could assign a different birthday to one of the three it would probably be Jacob. I could definitely see him as more of Leo; loyal, a natural leader, generous, charming, talkative (telling Bella the secret history like, right away). I think that might fit his original sunny personality better?

Renesmee would probably have been born in late April or early May if she had been the product of a typical human pregnancy based on some rough dates I threw into a pregnancy calculator. That would make her a Taurus (like me!). Stubborn, dependable, set in their ways, appreciates the good things in life, gentle until riled, maybe with an artistic streak. I don't think I'm a very good Taurus example (the whole hedonistic thing is not me, lmao), but maybe Nessie would have been? I see some common traits with Virgo, which might complicate the mother-daughter relationship in the future. Sometimes people who are too similar don't get along well (looking at you, Rosalie and Edward).

[jewishcissiekj]

A few months ago I woke up (I wasn't sleeping) in cold sweat at night from a story idea and grabbed a paper I found and wrote on it the OC name that came to me in a vision but only now I started thinking about her more and finally fucking designed her so here's my Jedi Master OC and her three Padawans (and everything I have to say about them) if you want to see them

(mouth on the first one came out weird, ignore that) Bliz Karse she/her (Karse pronounced Kuh-rs, not sure about Bliz yet) -Ky Narec's best friend! her main story point lmao. They were partners most of their life, from the crèche to knighthood up until Ky ended up on Rattatak. -Theelin -Qui-Gon's and Ky's age - born circa 80 BBY -Lives up to TCW, probably dies in Order 66 (haven't gotten there yet) -Ky and her are really close friends and like half the temple's padawans gossip about them dating. They aren't together. -Her master is Burryaga from The High Republic! Was thinking about a Master for her and he just fit idk -She's short -Ky and her go around the galaxy as Jedi explorers. They're both aspiring Wayseekers, striving to be independent from the council and help wherever they can (this gets serious for Bliz after Ky crashed on Rattatak) -She takes her padawans everywhere so a lot of times people think they're Ky and hers' children -um idk I think she's aroace?

Padawan I - Sevo Zash They/them -Mirialan (purple!) -I drew them as a Padawan but they're like, older than Obi-Wan. -Bliz took them on not long after her knighting -They love Ky -I need to develop them more (gave them a name like an hour ago and came up with the design this afternoon, I don't know them yet) -Survives Order 66 but is killed by an inquisitor not long after

Padawan II - Nyyra Xor She/her -Falleen (green, naturally) -NOT AURRA but love me some almost bald characters with a pnytail at the top of their head and no eyebrows -I should make a timeline for Bliz but she's like, in her late 20s/early 30s by the Clone Wars -She thinks Ky is annoying but was still Bliz's Padawan when he crushed on Rattatak (that adds up, right?) so she came to miss him after a while -a big fan of annoying the fuck out of Bliz. She also doesn't like traveling as much as the others so she ended up with the worst possible master in that regard -Sevo sees her as their little sister, I feel like all 3 Padawans are kinda siblings in that way -Oldest sibling energy, doomed to be a middle child -Wants to be on the council. Dies in Order 66.

Padawan III - Arck Kyvett she/him -Tholothian (no idea how to draw their head-tendrils but I think I did a decent job) -DIES (killed by Asajj) - her main story point is dying. That's where I started, with Asajj being sent to kill Ky's childhood friend's padawan by Dooku and then Bliz came to me -Bliz took him on 2-3 years before the Clone Wars, and he died very quickly (Asajj's first Jedi kill, maybe even before the Clone Wars started) -I wanted to give all of them some sort of Padawan braid, so Arck gets beads on one of his tendrils, I think that can work -Youngest sibling energy, if she didn't die she'd also become the favorite child (Nyyra and Sevo love her dw) -The Ky in her name is the first thing Asajj hears when Bliz refers to her. Wanted to call her Ky originally but felt this would do instead

Woooo building OC lore is fun I should do it more Talked a lot about Ky but never drew him once in my life. Let's ignore that.

[diancite]

I KEEP FORGETTING TO POST THESE. magical girl au refs for cynthia and diantha except they're vaguely incomplete cuz i'm lazy LMAO. diantha's design is bound to change a bit eventually but im p happy with cynthia's.

some notes about the au/fic below the cut since i keep forgetting to actually share !!!!

in this fic magical girls are treated somewhat like?? idols i guess??? idk it wasn't intentional but that's just kind of what happened. there's like. agencies that manage magical girls and give them assistance/work to do . the system's fucked though.

all kinds of supernatural stuff happens!! pokemon do not exist but magical beasts of the same origin as magical girls do! and they're. fairly similar to pokemon in many aspects

magical girls aren't the only people with magic. there's just a very specific phenomena that goes on w/ magical girls specifically. they've existed since the beginning of recorded history! (and guess who's a huge nerd about that.)

anyway. character specific notes. i'll start w diantha bc she's the "protagonist"(read: first half of the story is in her pov)

she's still an actress in this au!! she probably could've unlocked her potential as a magical girl as a teenager if she'd... just had the time to . oopsies.

she didn't. become a magical girl until the start of the story (she's. 26. that is a VERY late age to discover that in this!!!!)

dating malva. lives with her as well. how cute hope nothing happens to their relationship(smiles)

is assigned on the important task of apprehending a powerful rogue magical girl(cynthia!) who has evaded every attempt in the past four years. hmmm wonder how this will end up!!!(sorry. im giggling writing this all out)

her weapon is a rapier similar to the one diancie is seen with in the oras animated trailer i'm just not 100% satisfied w my design for it yet. lol rip

aaand cynthia. wonder what her deal is!

she's a Very experienced magical girl. she is also a mid 20s disaster who is trying to juggle school with erm. being a wanted magical girl.

she used to be in the same agency that diantha is now in, but ran away after finding out some. Very Classified information.

so many people want her gone. too bad she's almost untouchable. (there's. a Ranking system for magical girls but i don't feel like explaining it. know she's probably one of if not the most powerful one alive tho)

is trying to unravel the mystery of where magical girls actually came from. (this is part of what led her to discovering some things she shouldn't have.) however her quest for Knowledge isn't. really that important to the main plot of the fic. i may make a spinoff about it tho if i ever get to that point lmaooo

ok genuinely i cant share too much about cynthia without just spoiling all the fun surprises i have planned for the story sorry

take some shitty aggie doodles i did a while back as thanks for reading all of this <3

[destinyc1020]

By the way Hollywood is i would just b content with Kaia being in her late 20s n Austin in his late 30s bt 20 (wen they met) is just so.. young. I actually enjoy Kaias book club n she said in the last one that was told a lot that she was very "mature" n a "old soul" when she was young n i definetly get that vibe from her, i feel like she thinks shes more mature bt by her interviews she sounds like her age to me tbh (nt a bad thing though shes still seems more stable than a lot of other nepo baby models).

I did think her n JE were going to last longer, they give off the same kinda vibe imo. In his print interviews he seems pretentious/wanting to emulate old hollywood stars or Health Ledger n Kaia mentioned smthin about how an artist isnt going to sacrifice their movie for someones kid (wrong lol) cuz thats not how art is made n she wants to "make art". Just by those comments i got why they were a couple ☠️ both of them can just sound very eye rolling to put it plainly lol kaia seems a lil more geniune wen shes nt ignorant about nepotism tho lol

Im srry bt the "rent a model gf" gave me a lil chuckle lmao it def helps wen her last n current bf have been actors n she wants to b an actress now. Anytime someone mentions her its either cuz her mom or shes "_'s gf". I think shes prob going to continue to have a deal with the paps until or if her acting career takes off cuz they give her visibility in hollywood

Late 20s would be fine....shoot... even 25 would be better and just fine imo lol 😆

I've always liked the fact that Kaia had her book club, and it's smthg she's done for years. She's a VERY avid reader, so I'm not even surprised that Austin was attracted to her, coz he loves to read also! 😊 Like, I can totally understand why they clicked, cuz they actually have quite a bit in common.

While I do think that Kaia has been forced to grow up VERY quickly in the modeling world, and probably isn't a "regular person's" 21 year old, she's STILL very young (imo), and pretty naïve and out of touch.... You can tell by her interviews. The funny thing is, she doesn't even realize it yet, which is why it's so ironic.

I'm not sure of the context of what she meant by "making art", so I won't comment on that, but part of me almost feels like she's just repeating buzz words lol. At least with JE, I feel like that's who he truly is, and what he truly wants. Although they sometimes looked miserable together lol, I actually think they were better matched? They were closer in age, and seemed to have similar backgrounds.

ALL of us were more naïve at that age though, so it's not a slight towards her, it's just a reminder that she doesn't have much life experience yet. 🤷🏾‍♀️ According to Psychologists, your brain isn't even FULLY developed until your mid-late 20s!

JE grew up pretty privileged, and so did Kaia. When you've been raised around wealth your entire life like Kaia has, it's hard to know how to relate to "common folk".

Re: JE.....

I'm not even surprised he's with Olivia Jade rn lol. 😅 They've actually lasted waaaay longer than I expected, so I guess he stopped cheating on his gfs lol. 🤭

Re: Rent-a-Model-Girlfriend...

Lol I'm sorry rofl 🤣 But after dating Pete Davidson, Jacob Elordi, and now Austin Butler lol, it just seems like I'm noticing a pattern here rofl 🤣 (Hot, up-and-coming actors who are going places lol)

As far as Austin is concerned.....

I'm probably gonna ruffle some Kaustin/Kaia feathers by saying this lol, but I'll say it anyway since I'm ALWAYS 💯% honest here on my blog....

First off, I'll just say, I think Austin is actually a very nice guy, and definitely seems way more humble and in touch with reality due to his background.

But boy does he have a bad woman picker lol 😂 Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the women he's been with have been "bad women" at all (I actually didn't mind Vanessa back when they were dating pre-covid 🥴), I just think that his personality doesn't always align with who he's dating. So his choices are sometimes like, "seriously?" to me lol. Almost like, he doesn't realize that he could do better. 👀

Tbh, I've often wondered if maybe he got with Kaia because after the lengthy Vanessa rlshp and breakup, maybe he just wanted smthg more low-key, easy maintenance, a pretty girl on your arm for movie premieres and press tours so you're not asked about your ex all the time 🙄, and just someone who can be private, and not rustle feathers too much, or be overly obnoxious on social media. 👀

I could be dead wrong, but I kinda get the impression that he's more so focused on his career right now. Yes, he's been in the business for almost 20 years, but he's JUST now getting his big break, so he's a bit behind than some others who got their big breaks in their early 20s or younger. He could def date an older woman again in the future, but I don't think at this moment in his life that he's really looking for an older woman who might be wanting or pressuring marriage right now.... hence, KAIA. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️

I actually wouldn't mind Kaia too much if she were at least 25 and came from a regular background like himself. She's private, she doesn't say anything about the rlshp, and many famous ppl need you to be that way when you're dating such a high-profile man. Maybe she took notes from Zendaya lol 🤭

Anyway, I think his focus at the moment is his career. You saw how QUICKLY those engagement rumors got squashed right lol? Rofl 🤣 😂 I'd be a little surprised if he gets engaged to Kaia anytime soon. (I could be totally wrong though)

But he is def a guy who seems to prefer stable, long-term rlshps though, so they will probably last quite a while! They might even surprise everyone and get engaged one day, but I don't see it happening tomorrow, in other words. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Honestly?? I actually think Austin would do well to just be SINGLE for 6 months lol. I know that's a TALL order for a handsome, nice guy in the industry lol, but imo I think it would do him well. He's been through a LOT. Not just his mom's death, but other things in his life as well.

Relationship-wise, he went from an 8-yr rlshp with Vanessa, to then a massive breakup, to then a rebound "situationship" with his Elvis costar Olivia, to then another rebound fling with Lily Depp lol.... like laawwwd dude rofl 🤣 😂 Can't you just be single lol? 🤣

I'll give him a slight pass though, cuz 8 years is a very long time to be with someone, and then NOT have anybody.... I always say that the longer your relationship was, the longer you rebound also. I don't even think they broke up in person face-to-face. 👀

Anyway, IF he and Kaia do breakup one day, I'll be looking to see who he gets with next, cuz if it's some young 21 year old again I'm gonna be giving him the MASSIVE side-eye.

🤨

Anyway, those are my thoughts/opinions.... you don't have to agree. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[eiseryn]

Feeling not that great lately so I took a bit of time to fill in this ship meme made by @/gibbarts for Vail x Lei! I have their ship name as Vailei (which is just me smushing their names together) but my friend has brought up Leil which is tempting just because it's fun to say... I think we'll stick with Vailei for now XD

I used some headcanons for this because NGL Vail doesn't have enough screentime in the canon campaign so I had to just fill in some blanks XD This is why he is also my OC now cuz I've made so many headcanons to fill in the blanks that he's prob a diff OC than the KP imagined XD

I realize their faces are kinda babey in this. That is because I did this in like 1 hr so it's very messy sorry. I still had a lot of fun filling this out and thinking about them <3 my OTP 🥺🥺🥺

OC lore under the cut (as per usual of course)

More explanations about how I picked this even though you didn't ask 😎

Big spoon Vail / Little spoon Lei. They could def swap though but this is their usual formation if they're spooning. Little spooning is def by Lei's request but she'll big spoon him if she wants him to feel extra comfy!

Lends clothes (Vail)/ Borrows clothes (Lei) - This is self explanatory. I already drew Lei in Vail's hoodie. She really likes to "borrow" his clothes, as in, she'll wear them until they don't smell like him anymore and then return them to him XD. I do have this funny quote thing so I headcanon he steals her fuzzy socks. I'll draw that one day :3 But I also think it would be hard for him to borrow her clothes even if they're similar heights because he has a SIZ of 65 (muscle mass) and she has a SIZ of 50 which means she's probably built like a stick XD

Pet names - Vail seems like the type of person who calls people by their name/ what they want to be called. So he would prob call Lei "Lei" which is something she even requests at the end of the campaign! (Before he called her "Doc"). Lei is definitely into pet names though! In the cyberpunk universe she probably calls him "my love" 🥺

Introversion/Extroversion - this one was kinda hard NGL. Lei is def more introverted but she isn't suuuper "Ew people" cuz she is a doctor and forced to interact with people. Because Vail likes to talk/ramble, I put him as slightly more extroverted but he didn't have enough screentime so XD I couldn't confirm this theory. He didn't seem that open to talking with Liam in the campaign but it could have been due to lack of time who knows 😔 By comparison Vail is prob more extroverted than Lei at least.

Affection through words (LEi) / Affection through actions (Vail) - Lei is both LMAO cuz her love language is physical touch. But she also expresses affection through her words! This is especially true because if she doesn't like you she won't even bother talking to you. But if she likes you, she'll say sweet things to you/compliment you AND if she really really likes you she'll be physically affectionate! Vail is def an actions person XD I mean we're talking about the guy who bought her a cat for her birthday. I think sometimes she can feel a bit sadge if he doesn't verbally validate her/ have words of affirmation for her but they work with it 🥺

Confesses first (Lei) / Waits for confession (Vail) - THIS ONE IS CANON LMAOOO. Although the first time they hung out it was him who initiated, she has to make him ask her for dinner XD and then when she said it was date he was like ayo alright XD

Bugs - I feel like they're both capable of bug squashing so I put them around the same level... now I feel like if we want to dig into catboy vail his should be reallyyy far into it but I'm not changing it for now XD maybe in an updated one sometime down the line

Drives car (Vail) / can't drive (Lei) - this is also canon XD Vail drives around bikes so he has to be a decent driver, although I didn't see DRIVE in his invested skills according to the stats the dm gave me so like 🤔🤔 Lei has the base DRIVE of like 20? So I mean she can drive. But it's not great XD I would say she's just not very confident, esp in the slums where people speed a lot. She prob felt safer in the Middle district.

can't cook (Vail) / makes dinner (Lei) - Vail prob never had a chance to learn how to cook and he says "food in the slums generally sucks" XD But Lei is a good cook. I mean she cooks drugs so she has to be good at cooking food too (COPE). I just want her to be a good cook so therefore she is.

PDA - Lei likes PDA! She wants everyone to know who her man belongs to, but I think she'd be more like into handholding and clinging to him. The other stuff she prefers to do in private :3 Although she's def up to giving him cheek kisses here and there. Vail probably doesn't particularly mind, if it makes Lei happy :)

Overprotective / Chillgoing - THIS WAS HARD. Lei is def on the overprotective side, especially when it comes to her loved ones, she gets very desperate. But I mean I would imagine Vail would be protective if she were in danger. But overall he's supposed to be a chill dude so I imagine she's just chill. Like oh you're going to Prism HQ and killing some jerks? I'll come with <- maybe something like this LOL

Relationship experience - It is canon Vail has no relationship exp (like me frfr) but Lei's had 2 relationships in the past, so she has more exp than him.

(WARNING: NSFW IMPLIED) HORNY METER: I feel like they're quite similar in levels of horniness. I think mostly Lei has to initiate because Vail is shy uwu about those types of things. But once he's in the mood and the switch has been flipped... pray for Lei LOL. He will let her have control as much as she wants but if she wants him to dom... it's over for her XD a Runner and their stamina y'know... In my headcanons, he is secretly quite horny just never had the chance to express it. He is a young man after all 😔 But he has really good self control :) His willpower is 70. Lei was not supposed to be super thirsty but she is played by me so.... y'know... some stuff happened XD

AWKWARDNESS METER: Lei isn't super super awkward but there are definitely situations where she has no idea what to do, especially to circumstances that are new to her. For example, needing to learn how to do a runner's job XD that was hard for her. In highschool she was def much more awkward but she's grown out of her shell a little. In terms of this relationship, I imagine she gets awkward because she doesn't quite believe she's in a relationship with him XD (she'd be like "really? Are you sure you want me?" and he's like "yeah we had this convo last week") Vail is pretty chill so I think he's barely awkward. I imagine he's only awkward as he's new to this whole relationship business :)

JEALOUSY METER: Vail is not supposed to get jealous so hence why there's like nothing there for him. I would say he either 1) feels secure in his relationships + trusts Lei and 2) Would want the best for her so if she finds someone that makes her happier than him, he would easily let her go. Lei though... is much more insecure than he is. It's something that I would develop for her if she lives XD in the future, because she is slowly gaining confidence in herself! :) She is a capable woman, she simply needs to realize that. But yeah she's the type to get jealous, if she sees him with women who are prettier and younger than her. But she is lucky because he doesn't

[eoieopda]

re soft asks: actually...... what if i said "all of them." how unhinged would that be (do it)

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions..... i did this to @moni-logues last week and — uhhhh — i guess i deserve this, lmao.

buckle up, kids.

1, 2, and 3 were just answered here.

4. what flower would you like to be given?

i love, love, love, hydrangeas. idk if that yoongi drabble made that clear, lol.

5. who do you feel most you around?

my older sister and my best friend, IRL. if we're talking internet, @jihopesjoint has proven to be my actual clone in all respects, which is both spooky and incredible. we're like the lindseys lohan from the parent trap except instead of camp, it was tumblr.

6 was answered here.

7. what color brings you peace?

hmmmmmmmm. lilac or mint green. also really deep forest green.

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

i already tagged nicki but ope here she is again: @jihopesjoint. also YOU, @sailoryooons, @here2bbtstrash (though idk if m will see this,) @luaspersona. this is not an exhaustive list!

9. what calms you down?

i don't know if i've ever actually felt truly calm in my entire life?? but the closet i get is driving around with the windows down, listening to music, and drinking a silly little coffee.

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

well, i moved to a new state yesterday and start a new job on monday, so.... a new chapter. the previous one was v ouchie and i'm excited to put down the baggage i've been shouldering.

11. what’s your ideal date?

be honest — is this you asking me out? jk..... unless 👀 (no, i'm kidding.) i never don't want to go to a dive bar, listen to a band, be bad at pool, and laugh until my stomach hurts!!

12 was answered here.

13. what’s your comfort food?

this is so embarrassing and really snitches on my depressive habits, but lately, smuckers uncrustables have been sustaining my whole life. specifically, the strawberry ones. tell me you're struggling without telling me you're struggling!!!!

14. favorite feel-good show?

new girl and schitt's creek are always the first ones i think of when i need to turn my brain off and laugh!

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

you didn't give me any, so i'm just gonna yeet right past this one.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

this is gonna sound so dumb because i don't know you in the literal, physical sense, but i'm so fucking proud of you??? i know the gauntlet you're currently going through and it warms my old, dead heart to see that you're not only surviving it, but doing (what looks to be) a really incredible job at holding onto you — your interests, your joy, your hobbies. i wasn't super successful at that. it's hard as fuck, but you're doing the damn thing.

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

HALLOWEEN LIGHTS. LIL LIGHT-UP PUMPKINS. next question.

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes, binch! all i have atm is a gigantic raccoon squishmallow that my sister gave me when my life exploded last year and i cling to that shit, lol.

19. most important thing in your life?

my family. my siblings, my parents, my nephews, my dog, and my best friend.

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

the first thing that came to mind is taco bell because i've been craving it for days. but uhhhhh, if we're getting existential here, i want whatever is the emotional equivalent of a deep breath.

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

all you can do is love him hard and let him go.

22. what would you say to your future self?

drink water. seriously, get up and get a glass of water. right now. how are you even alive? lmao.

23. favorite piece of clothing?

an old, beat-up denim jacket that used to be my mom's! she wore it when my parents brought me over from korea, once my adoption was finalized.

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

🏃🏻‍♀️ run, beautiful, run, yeah, you gotta run 🏃🏻‍♀️

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

you could give me a pen cap that you chewed on and i'd still be like, omfg, you made this? for me?

but fr, i'm a sentimental bitch, so anything along the lines of "i saw/heard this and thought of you/this thing we did," etc.

26. what movie would you want to live in?

oooh, idk! is it weird if i say the craft, given what happens? i just really wanna be a witch with a bunch of other baddies.

27. which character would you want to be?

....from the movie in 25? or generally? because i'd want to be baby yoda, thottin' and boppin' around with pedro pascal, drinkin my lil drink, and being baby.

28 was answered here.

29. morning, afternoon or night?

morning! i'm an up-and-at-em kinda fella. love having a whole day ahead of me, love a breakfast sandwich, love a sunrise.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

bon fires, maple syrup, people singing while they cook/work/whatever, getting zooted and then over-competitive while playing egyptian rat screw, being hugged for a laughably long time.

[aelaer]

1 ,10, 23 & 26 for the fic writer ask game? (Sorry that it's so many but I wanted an eve split between reading and writing. 😄)

This is the ask post, since I posted it like, ages ago. See previous post for delay excuses lmao.

1- How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction? Oh god I'm old, 2003 for both. Freaking 20 year anniversary next summer/fall, respectively. I already knew I enjoyed writing by that time and when I discovered fanfic (I don't remember how I learned of it--possibly a school friend? Possibly Neopets?) in late spring/early summer, it only took me until early September to start posting. I know the date because my first fic is still live (though it has been edited several dozen times lmao).

10- What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for? 2003-2011: LOTR, Aragorn-based, usually Arwen was the pairing if it figured at all into the story (because just like now, romance wasn't my main genre). 2012-2016: Fanfic break! RP took over entirely. 2017-2018: BBC Sherlock, Sherlock, pairing didn't matter, no faves there. I read gen, Johnlock, Sherlolly, and whatever Sherlock/Irene was called. And I even read a few rarer pairs like with Lestrade and Moriarty. I rarely click on incest stuff, that's a squick for me. 2019-now: MCU, Stephen Strange, and no preferred pairing. My bookmarked stories include Tony, Christine, Wong, Mordo, Loki, but my super-faves tend to be in the good ol' gen/found family category.

23- What’s your absolute favorite trope to write? According to AO3, it's "Hurt Stephen Strange" *snort*. Which, yeah, probably. Also I like have him abducted because if we're gonna make it hurt, might as well make the situation really, really suck. Overall I'd say "angst with a happy ending" is basically the definition of 90% of my pieces.

26- What’s your biggest distraction when writing? Research. I start looking things up and go down a research rabbit hole, and definitely look at things that are not at all necessary for the story. It's a big reason why I have to now dedicate time to just writing and put footnotes for fillers to research later

[the-doggy-diaries]

guys little vent i am in between jobs rn i technically have one lined up but the manager will not give me a first day he is never at the store and none of the employees will give me his number they all keep saying they'll tell him and then i never hear anything. i am also having to move out of the house i live in by the end of this month (dec 2023) because all my other roommates are moving out. fucked up thing is they all had a place lined up before they even told me and they all make way more money than me, i found out very end of november too. i keep looking at places and looking into leads but everything is either way too expensive for the wage im used to (not even taking into account the fact that i dont have a job) or the roommates are not at all the demographic i would want to live with. im a 20 year old 5'2" queer afab with facial piercings i do NOT want to live with dudebros in their late 20s/30s who make three times as much as me . i cant even turn to my family they are the reason i had to move out when i wasnt ready because they had been threatening to kick me out for 6 full months before i finally found a place. my mom keeps saying i can leave my stuff at her house if i cant find a place because she doesnt want all my shit sitting in some friend-of-a-friends garage or some shit but she won't offer to let me stay over for a bit until i find a good place again. she's the reason i had to leave when i wasnt ready and didn't have a savings built up and ended up in a house where id come home to 2 of my 3 roommates doing blow in the living room. one of my roommates started bringing a felon into the house after he contacted her immediately after finishing his 6 year sentence because they were dating up until then (when she was 15 and he was 19) . he's friends with people who r in prison for murder. my other roommate constantly bringing home men 10-15 years older than her from the bar until she got a sugar daddy who she ultimately ended things with after he had a foursome with some hookers in vegas while SHE WAS THERE. and then he started sending bouquets to the house bc of course he knows where we live. but even then all that was better than living with my parents bc they were fucking insane. anyways i don't have a place to live next month LMAO and i have 800 bucks to last me til my paycheck that i have no idea when im getting seeing as i got my last paycheck from my old job one week ago today and have not worked a day since bc my new job will not schedule me . OH MY GOD AND ITS MY BOYFRIEND AND MY FIRST XMAS TKGETHER AND I CANT REALLY GET HIM ANYTHING BC I HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL WITH MY MONEY AND ITS TEARING ME APART I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[roseriot2191]

Entry 3/Grandma Talk Seshs

instead of going to the 2nd concert venue, i ended up going to my grandma's. she needed help taking some stuff over to value village, and i offered to stop by and use my car since it has a big trunk. afterward, we just talked about stuff. she asked about my ex, and i shot the question down immediately. i just said that we weren't talking. i hated that lmao. i didn't tell anyone in my family about my ex when we were dating, and after we broke up except my grandma. im not out to anyone explicitly, but i dont hide my queerness either. it's definitely a dont ask, dont tell type of situation. anyways, we talked about my grandpa, who i live with. they got divorced 20 some years ago, but they're still good friends. while talking about her and my grandpa, i realized that i relate to a lot of their problems and stuff, but not in a way that i feel more connected and could seek reassurance in my own situation. i think the main barrier that i put up is due to our age gap. one of the topics she started with was how she had a sort of date tonight but wasn't going to go. i thought she should've but didn't try to convince her to go. she was saying that she's starting to really come to terms with her loneliness and being alone in general at 61. im glad that she's coming to terms with her situation, but as guilty and awful as it sounds, i can't let myself end up like her. she wasted so much time on raising my cousin, which i won't get into, but the way she cut people out of her life to do so. and also another thought i had is im sort of scared that i won't come to accept my own loneliness until im old and even more insignificant. lately, due to social get togethers and situations, i thought that i honestly do a lot better when im by myself, and i really do. im more focused on myself and working towards my goals. but im not truly happy by myself. so i find friends and recently tried to date. now im tired of my friends. not in a way that i'd discard them, but i feel like we just aren't good for each other now. and dating didn't go well. like my grandma said tonight "if you put me in a room with 300 people, ill always pick the one thats more damaged than i am and tear myself apart while i try so hard to help and be the best (worse) version i am for that person" and i really see how my family, my mom, my aunt, my uncles, and me. i hate that. why can't i be different and break away from this curse. this tragedy. to love people with everything and to receive nothing. to feel unlovable as a result. anyways, so basically, i know and understand that others can't complete myself, but i can't seem to complete myself either. and i just have to come to terms with it? this is just how it is? that's sucky and shitty. but im 17, so what do i know. time will be the deciding factor, i guess.

we also talked about school and moving. i cant wait to move and be on my own. but again i keep thinking about how lonely that'll feel. its whatever though. she asked if i still wanted to move to portland for school. i told her that i would just move to portland and lie about going to school. she asked why portland then? if youre going to lie about going to the school then you could lie about where you're moving to. i could. i honesty could. i would too. im suppose to move in with my 2 friends but neither of them, though they're serious about moving together, put no effort in finding jobs, saving or discussing the actual factors that go into moving together. we have about two years before we'd move so i know there plenty of time for them to figure it out but i over think everything and feel like i have less time than in actuality. again im 17 and i should know i have so much time to figure this stuff out but i really dont feel like i do.

i'll make another post again later tonight, probably, with a lighter and fun topic, hopefully. talk to you again soon.

[adayinthelifeofb]

Welcome to my life.

Hi everybody (anybody...) !

Opening this blog was a big step for me. I have been thinking of doing it for a couple of weeks now but I couldn't find the courage. I wanna introduce myself a little, even if no one ever sees this post.

Hello, I am B, 24 years old, I have two ginger cats (my baby on my profile pic). I've dealt with anxiety my entire life, I am diagnosed with BPD since I was 17, no medication, no therapy (lmao I need it). Also diagnosed with ADHD since I was like 5, unmedicated again (lmaoooo). I dealt with severe depression for an entire decade, from 2009 to 2020 (11 to 22). I got out of it (unmedicated too, listen, I said I was a mess). I dealt with alcoholism when I was 17 (2015), got sober, on my one year anniversary I used drugs for the first time and became heavily addicted to speed (early 2017). I heavily relied on it for 4 years, greatest love of my life, helped me stay alive. Got to my breaking point on February 9th 2021 and I celebrated my 2 years anniversary last month !!! Hardest thing I've ever done. Haven't popped a single pill since.

I was an anorexic during my addiction, everything turned around food consumption, calories burning. Would only eat once a week for months at a time, on and off for 4 years. When I stopped using, I started binge eating. The past two years have been uncontrollable for me. The first year, I went in a state of mind where it was better stuffing my face rather than popping a pill. I gained 100 lbs in the process, in 12 months. Not even exagerating. I gained another 20 lbs during the second year. Two weeks ago, I said enough was enough. I was at 119.5 kgs. I started doing these 2 videos on youtube, cardio for plus size people, 20 minutes. I did 7 sessions in 11 days. Let's see how it's gonna go !!

I have a boyfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life. I met him summer 2017. It has been a rocky relationship to say the least. When we met, he was more of an addict than I ever have been. We were a couple after 5 days, moved in after 3 weeks. He got clean late 2018. He has been my anchor ever since we met. He is my biggest emotional support. Every year our couple is getting stronger and stronger, every year is better than the last. I don't know how I'd survive without him in my life. He was/still is my first ever boyfriend/relationship. I've never wanted to pursue dating, until I met him, I was 19, he was 20. He was the same, never had a girlfriend either. Going through mindless, unemotional sex with unknown faces. When we met, we both knew. We were made to be together. It was hard but I would do it all over again and again and again.

I graduated high school in 2014 at 16, I never did anything else with my life. Only worked at shitty fast food jobs that made me wanna die. I went back to school last august, in Infography. Found out it wasn't my place after 3 months, pursued Secretary instead. Started February 28th. I've been doing amazing so far.

I have a very small family. It's only my mom and sister. I have a brother but he lives very far away, we didn't stay in contact. My mom lives a couple hours away from me, she has preschool twin boys and she takes care of my grampa who has dementia since christmas 2019. My sister lives in another continent with her girlfriend since 2018, we keep in touch daily but she only comes around once a year for a few weeks.

Long post, but kinda explain every aspect of my life I could possibly write about in my future posts. I actually can't wait to start talking to myself ! This post got me all excited !!

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff 

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.) 

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not. 

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look,"  you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him.  First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions. 

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him. 

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

[rebeccccccaaa]

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ɴᴇʀᴅ ⓟⓐⓡⓣ ②

_________________________

ғʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x sʜʏ-ɪsʜ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀᴜ (ɪɴᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇᴅ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss)

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: (two part series!) You’re starting to struggle in class and decide to ask your professor for some tutoring or extra classes to boost your  grade. He ends up assigning the last person you’d expect to tutor you. (is it really a surprise though?)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: cw: talking about a car accident and infertility

smut 18+  (praise kink, dirty talk, oral fem receiving, hair pulling, marking, choking, slight spanking if you squint, slight bondage), major aftercare, fluff? This is pretty filthy lmao. 

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 𝟺.𝟹 ᴋ (ɪ ᴀᴍ sᴏᴏᴏᴏᴏ sᴏʀʀʏ ᴛʜɪs ɪs sᴏᴏᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ!)

ᴀ/ɴ: Thank you so much for all the love in the last part! I was truly expecting maybe about 20 likes but so far its gotten over 100! Thank you for being so nice to me on my first ever post and hope you enjoy part 2!

__________________________

For the next two or so weeks you avoid Bucky like the bubonic plague. You didn’t exactly hate the fact that he kissed, but he was your tutor. Isn’t that inappropriate? Let alone him being a part of a frat house. It wouldn’t be a good mix.

One good thing though is that your overall grade in class has gone up since your tutor sessions with Bucky so at least it wasn’t for nothing. He’s tried to talk to you in class a couple times when you didn't go to him but ended up giving up when you began showing up right when class started or going out of your way to even go near him. 

Again, you didn’t hate him; hell you weren’t mad anymore, but you still avoided at all costs. It’s totally not because you're scared you’ll actually fall for him. How could someone like Bucky even look your way? Maybe he just wanted to get into your pants like all the boys in the house.

You didn’t tell Natasha that Bucky kissed but she could definitely tell that something was up. You were usually at Bucky’s frat house on weekdays but you’ve been canceling sessions every night since the incident. 

One night you were studying alone in your apartment and Natasha was pacing around on her phone. She was dressed to go to a frat party tonight but it seems maybe her ride isn’t available. You wonder why she can’t herself when she has a car.

“Hey Y/n,” Nat crept up to you.

“Yes,” you drew out.

“Would maybe, possibly, perhaps, might be able to be my DD?” she asked.

“Your what?”

“My designated driver. Wanda has a family emergency; her and her brother flew out like an hour ago and I haven’t been able to find anyone to pick me up.”

“I can drop you off and pick you up,” you offered. You’d rather stay up late in case she wants to come home than stay at the party all night, especially if she finds another bed to stay in till morning. 

“I mean you could do that but would it be more fun to actually party for once. Come on babe you’re too uptight, you need to have fun especially with how hard you’re working in school right now.”

“Nat, you know that’s not my scene.”

“Just stay with me. Or Bucky I’m sure he wouldn’t mind hanging with you tonight,” she suggestively, bringing confusion to your face.

“Huh?”

“Oh nothing Just come with me please? If it gets too much text me and I’ll let you know if I need a ride back home.”

“Actually?” you asked.

“Pinky promise.”

“Ok give me like 5 mins.”

You ran to your  room and picked out an outfit you felt sexy but comfortable in; I mean if you were going to inevitably run into Bucky at this party might as well look presentable right? When you came out ready, Nat whistled, hyping you up and felt your face heat up a bit. 

“Stop, let’s just go,” you averted.

You arrived at the house music booming from down the street. People outside drinking from red solo cups, cars already picking up drunks and dropping people off to get said drunk. You hastily parked the car and Nat grabbed your hand and pulled you close as you guys walked to the party. You weren’t going to lie, you were really nervous.

You heard stories about these parties but you were trying to convince yourself that they may be exaggerated somewhat but still didn’t do much for your nerves. When you walked you eyes almost immediately locked with Bucky’s. To say he was shocked to see you at a frat party was for sure an understatement.

Bucky began to move through the crowd to meet up with you but when he got to the entrance it was like you disappeared. Disappointed, he returned to the mini bar where the drinks were all held, where Steve served the drinks. Asked for a beer.

“How’s it going, man?” Steve asked.

“She’s here.”

“Nat? I really think there's something between us. I’m thinking about asking her on a proper date you know?”

“Really? That’s awesome, but I’m talking ‘bout Y/n,” Bucky clarified.

“What? I thought she hated parties.” 

“I did too.”

As if on queue, you tapped Bucky on the shoulder.

“Hi.”

“Hey, what on earth are you doing here?”

“Nat needed a designated driver and Wanda and her brother are out of town.”

“Yeah Pietro lives here in the house, Steve drove him and Wanda to the airport a couple hours ago.”

You nodded your head and things got awkward again, but then again what’s new with that.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“I can’t drink.”

“Oh right. Do we have soda?”

“We coke for the rum but you can take a can.”

“Thanks Steve,” you took a can of coke from him. 

You and Bucky and Steve all held wholesome conversation for a little  bit then Nat came and whisked him away. Bucky was put on bar duty from then on and you decided to keep him company until Nat was ready to go home. But so far from the way Steve and her were dancing together you didn’t think Nat was gonna wanna go home.

You asked Bucky how long Steve and Nat have had their little thing and apparently it’s been going on for awhile. You had sneaking suspicion that they were together in some way but since Nat never brought it up you didn’t want to bug her. It was pretty easy to figure out though considering she didn’t come home some nights.

They’re good together though and you hope they make it official soon.

Talking to Bucky, you felt a hand brush against but when you looked no one was there. You figured it was just getting crowded. After a couple of hours you decided to text Nat to see where she was. When she didn’t respond, you took it upon yourself to call her.

“Nat where did you go?”

“I'm in the car,” she slurred.

“What! You can’t be driving! How did you even get the keys?” you yelled.

“I snatched them from you when you and Bucky were flirting with each other. Steve couldn’t  find his keys so I took yours,” she shouted into the phone.

“When did you- whatever, is he sober?” you asked.

“Yeah and I am not even that dru-,” she hiccuped. 

“Nat…” you warned. 

“Steve is my boyfriend and we’re clean. I’ll be safe; it’s not like I can have kids anyway.”

“Nat.” When you moved in together at the beginning of the year, you noticed one time her grabbing her lower stomach in discomfort and offered her any products for her period. She told you she doesn’t get one and being the dumbass you are you asked why. She told you when she was a teenager she got into a car accident that caused extreme internal bleeding causing Nat to become infertle. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that,” you apologized.

“It’s ok babe. If anything you be safe.”

“She can’t see you, babygirl,” you heard Steve say and laughed out loud.

“Oh! I’m winking!” she shouted.

“Oh my god. Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

“Anyways buh-bye, girly!” she hung up the phone.

“What happened?” Bucky came up behind you. You looked over at the bar and saw Bruce bar-keeping.

“Nat took the fucking car with Steve.”

“Why didn’t he use my car?”

“She said he couldn’t find the keys and I guess it was easier to just steal from me when I wasn’t looking.”

“Wow, ok. Stealth much?”

“Right? She’s like a Russian spy,” you laughed.

“Well, you probably need a ride then,” Bucky brought up.

“I don’t know if I wanna go home knowing Steve is probably gonna be railing her into the next dimension.”

“Yeah, you can spend the night here. I can sleep on the floor.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah it’s not a problem. We probably have an air mattress hiding somewhere.”

“Thanks Buck. well since I’m not going anywhere I guess I could have a drink now.”

“What’ll it be?”

You drank a couple beers feeling the alcohol beginning to flow effortlessly through your veins. The music was still booming through the house and you found yourself getting lost to the rhythm. You made your way to where everyone was also dancing and let the music guide your body sensually. 

You didn’t notice it yet but Bucky was staring completely in love with the way you were moving. He’d never seen you in this kind of environment and definitely not in the clothing you were wearing. You looked truly sexy even more so dancing the way you were dancing; like you had control over everything in the world.

You soon felt a pair of hands circle around to your waist instantly knowing who they belong to. Bucky moved his hips snug against your backside perfectly fitting with you. You let your head lean back feeling Bucky breathe against your neck.  

“You driving me crazy, doll,” Bucky whispered against your ear.

You shivered at his words. 

“Please, let me show you how fucking stunning you are,” he moved his hands towards the front of your hips.

“What?” you turned around. You hadn’t expected Bucky to want to do anything with you.

“I can make you feel so good. You deserve it.”

“Bucky-”

“Do you want me to make you feel good?”

“I do,” you whined as he rubbed his hands against your lower back, pulling you so close.

He kissed you too softly, barely touching your lips, as he grabbed your hands and led to his room upstairs.  

When you reached his room, the back of his knees hit the bed and he sat while your knees went to either side of his thighs. God his thighs. His hands went up your shirt grazing your bare skin with his fingertips as you continued to makeout sloppily. 

“Can I take this off?” he asked, tugging your shirt.

“Please, yes please.”

Your arms went over your head and Bucky slowly kissed the exposed skin as your shirt inched higher and higher up until he tossed it to the side. The straps of your bra left off shoulders and Bucky continued to kiss any exposed skin on your body. Your hands ran through his hair and you tugged his strands earning a moan in return.

You tugged at his shirt as well and he complied quickly getting rid of his shirt and throwing it to the side. Bucky hands ran over your bottom and you jumped off him nearly ripping your bottoms off your body. You heard bucky chuckled as he too took the opportunity to take his pants off leaving him in boxers and nothing else.

“I want to taste you baby girl,” Bucky bit at your ear.

Your body tensed a bit because although you were not a virgin, you were not that experienced, especially compared to Bucky. 

“Is that ok? I’m sorry, we don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to regret anything, princess. We can stop.”

“No! I don’t want to stop. No one’s just ever wanted to do that, you know,” you whispered feeling a bit overwhelmed.

“Oh baby, what kinda shit boys were you with? Let me show how good a woman is supposed to feel, got it?”

You swallowed hard, but nodded of course. 

Bucky picked you up and gently laid you down onto the bed. His hands rubbed your thighs softly and he kissed your stomach ever so softly. He was trying his very hardest to make sure you were comfortable and relaxed as much as possible. Bucky traced the lining of your underwear and looked to you once again to make sure everything was ok by you. You nodded but that wasn’t enough for Bucky.

“Words, baby. I wanna hear you say it,” he whispered, lips against your inner thigh. 

“Bucky,” you whined.

“Come on, baby. Use your words like a big girl,” he snickered.

“Please, touch me, Bucky. I want you to use your mouth on me like you promised.”

“There ya go,” he said pulling your underwear down your legs.

He slowly opened your legs and kissed your inner thigh leaving a dark purple mark for him to see and him only. When he was satisfied with the marks he left on your inner thighs he licked a slow and wet line against your pussy. Your hips instantly bucked into his face and your hands flew to his hair.

You tugged at his hair again and released a grunt from Bucky, the vibrations from his mouth pleasuring you even more. Bucky brought his fingers to your hole and he continued circling his tongue around your clit making you moan and arch your back. 

He entered a finger into you and then another. You were already beginning to feel full from just his fingers alone, you couldn’t wait until he was able to fuck you balls deep. Your orgasm was approaching quicker than you anticipated, your toes curled and your back arched off the bed. Your heels dug into Bucky’s back but he simply continued to eat you out until you finally peaked.

“Bucky!” you shouted his name in pleasure.

“That’s it baby girl. You're my good girl, right?”

“Yes, I’m your good girl. Oh god, I’m cumming,” you moaned.

Bucky helped you ride out your first orgasm of the night completely enamored by your beauty. When you finally came down from you high you reached for Bucky pulling him into a heated kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue and moaned into his mouth. You pulled him closer and sat up moving him to sit his back against his headboard.

“I don’t know what I want to do more, return the favor or ride you until my legs shake.”

“You can return the favor another time. Let me see you ride my dick, doll,” Bucky growled. Another time?

You crawled onto Bucky’s lap after he discarded his boxers letting his dick spring up, the tip red from lack of attention. It shocked you if you were being honest, it was so… big. 

“Is that gonna fit?” you asked genuinely.

“Yeah, it will; but if it hurts too much you tell me to stop ok?” you nodded.

Bucky reached behind your back and unclasped your bra only to toss it to wherever the rest of your clothes were. His hands caressing your breasts; thumbs rubbing over your sensitive nipples, sending chills throughout your body. He kissed along your collarbone to your neck to your jaw before whispering in your ear.

“I have to grab a condom from the bathroom, baby girl. Sorry,” he began to move you.

“Why are you sorry?” you stopped him.

“I don’t wanna ruin the mood but safety is important before anything else.”

You weren’t gonna lie that actually kinda shocked you; and turned you on even more. You had completely forgotten about having a condom. You were on the pill but that doesn't mean you shouldn’t still use a condom. Bucky was back in no time and you took the condom from him wanting to put it on for him. Bucky moaned as you wrapped his dick and soon enough you were ready to go, arousal practically dripping down your inner thighs.

Bucky’s hand lid up to the back of your neck as you slid down his cock; both moaning at the feeling. You took a second to move but when you did things practically fell into pace. You quickly found a good rhythm for the both of you and soon enough you felt yourselves growing near climax.

Bucky’s hands gripped at your ass, grunting and moaning at the feeling of your walls gliding in and out of you. He smacked your ass leaving a slight red-ish mark for you to admire later. You pulled him closer, if that was even possible, burying your face in between Bucky’s neck and shoulder. 

“I can feel ya getting close, baby. Fucking squeezing me. Feels so good, princess.”

“I'm gonna come, I’m so close.”

“Don’t come until I say so. Hold it, I know you can. Be my good little girl and fucking hold it.”

You sucked and kissed and licked his neck leaving little marks not nearly as big as the ones he was leaving all over you. Soon enough you felt the coil building in the pit of your stomach snap and you moaned so loud into Bucky’s ear, he almost came from hearing your moans.

“Sorry I literally screamed in your ear.”

“I told you not to come until I say so.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t hold it anymore. You felt too good,” you whispered, barely audible.

“That doesn’t matter. I told you to hold it,” Bucky got off the bed and reached for his pants. You got so scared that he was going to leave; terrified. But instead he took his belt he was wearing and stalked back towards you. Oh how the butterflies in your stomach fluttered right now.

“Arms up baby girl. You don’t get to touch me now.”

You complied, your stomach fluttering immensely at the mere thought of what Bucky was going to  do with you now. When he finished looping the belt around the headboard of the bed his hands ran along your entire body kissing here and there until back up to you. 

“Too tight?” you shook your head.

“Perfect. Winter; say the word and I stop,” he kissed passionately, sliding back in you, pussy sensitive from orgasming twice tonight. 

Bucky didn’t take as much time as you did before starting to slam into you over and over again. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, toes curling in themselves, tears brimming your eyes. Bucky fingers dug into your waist surely leaving more marks for you in the morning. 

His hand came up to wrap around your neck and squeezed ever so slightly.

“Feel good? My little fucking slut, whining and wiggling under me,” Bucky said, more to himself than anything.

“Fuck-” you moaned. You wrists rubbing against the belt, trying to pull away so you could touch Bucky.

“What is it? You wanna touch me,” Bucky’s hand squeezed a bit more and you moaned even louder, legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer that way.

“Oh good please Bucky, let me touch you!”

“Uh-uh, bad girls don’t get what they want. If you want to touch me you have to beg me like the good little whore you are,” Bucky growled.

“Fuck Bucky please, I’ll do anything for you just me let me touch you. Please, please, please!”

“Tell me your mine.”

“I’m yours, Buck. All fucking yours. No one else’s!”

“No one is ever gonna fuck as good as I do. Your mine.”

“Yes! I’m yours, oh god,” you moaned.

Bucky was extremely close to cumming and so were you so he undid the belt with one hand skillfully and your arms wrapped around his body pulling as close to you as humanly possible. Your hands ran through his hair and pulled hard as you both fell over the edge. Bucky settled between your legs for a minute kissing your breasts, your chest heaving trying to catch your breath. 

Bucky got up and discarded the condoms making sure there were no tears or rips considering how rough he’d been with you. He didn’t intend to be rough at first but his mind was so clouded with you he practically lost control; but you didn’t mind not one bit. 

Bucky came back with bottled water from a small refrigerator he kept in the corner of his room and held you back and head as you brought the water to your lips. After satisfying your dry and hoarse throat, Bucky picked you up and set down on his bathroom counter, the cold of the marble counter in extreme contrast to your hot skin. 

He cleaned you up and inspected your wrists making sure you weren’t hurt; although they were quite red and would probably hurt in the morning. Lastly, he grabbed a wipe and cleaned the remaining mess of makeup you had put on the night before speaking up again.

“Was I too rough? I didn’t mean to be,” Bucky caressing the sides of your waist. You shocked your head no; the face with a blissfully fucked out expression and a smile making Bucky chuckle. He rubbed your skin with lotion to ease any irritation anything may have caused and kissed the marks he made during sex. He admits that he really likes seeing you marked up by him knowing he’s the only one who gets to see them and make them. Makes him proud that he was able to fuck so good and you loved it too.

He picked you up and took you to bed; kissing you all over one last time before letting you fall asleep in his arms. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was Bucky whispering about how good were to him, calling you his good little girl; rubbing your back ever so softly putting you to sleep.

+++

You woke the next morning arms and legs tangled with another. You turn your head to find Bucky Barnes’ face tucked into your neck soft breaths tickling your skin. You rubbed his arms and back, nails lightly scratching him causing him to stir a bit.

Bucky pressed soft kisses against your skin and rested his large warm hands on your ass and thighs. You felt the urge to use the restroom and haven’t going last night, you figured you should as soon as possible. Prying your mildly sweaty body from his was obviously unsuccessful with how much stronger he was compared to you. His legs moved further in between your thighs and he began kissing your chest making you giggle in return.

“Bucky, I have to use the restroom,” you grabbed his face.

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled and released his hold on you, not without whining of course.

You ran into his bathroom and shut the door. When you turned around you gasped realizing how marked up you were. Dark purple spots littered all over your chest and neck. Your wrists were bright red from the belt he used last night; however they didn’t hurt, a bit sore but not painful. Your thighs were also decorated with love bites and hickeys from Bucky last night and you smiled to yourself.

After you used the bathroom you cleaned yourself as well as possible but admittedly needed a shower in the end. You opened the door only to find Bucky, grinning like a little boy. You folded your hands underneath your chin evidently hiding your body with your arms as much as you could. 

Bucky came up to you and placed his hands on your waist kissing the top of your head before turning you around to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. His body was flush against your and you could feel his dick sitting against your ass and lower back. His face came up and rested on your shoulder then grabbed your hands to wrap them behind his head and yours. 

You played with his hair a bit feeling so confident and loved by the affection Bucky has been giving since you came into his room. His hands ran across your body everywhere they could reach before making eye contact with you in the mirror.

“Look at you, goddamn.”

“What?” you chuckled.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?”

You shook your head, feeling incredibly shy suddenly.

“Look how  fucking beautiful and gorgeous and perfect you are. Geez, I can’t even handle it.” 

You laughed out at how dramatic he was being.

“Goddamn, I could stare at your perfect body all fucking day,” he whispered, it wasn’t in a sensual tone however. It was almost like he was saying to himself, like he actually wanted to do as such.

“Please stay,” he asked you.

“Are you ok?” you sensed he was being incredibly serious, almost about to cry even.

His sad painted with sadness, eyes begging you to stay with him for the day. He wanted something with you.he wanted to be yours and hoped to God that you’d be his in return.

“Stay with me. Please?” you realized you didn’t think he was talking about staying for now, he meant stay with him, as a partner.

“What happened?” you caressed his face in your hands. He lifted you and placed you on the counter Like he did the night before, settling his hips in between your legs.

“They always leave,” he whispered.

“Who? ”

“I didn’t want to just sleep around with girls anymore so I started talking to them and taking them out but every time the night we had sex, they would always leave. I tried talking to them the next day but they always said they didn’t want anything out of it. So I stopped having sex altogether.” 

Your heart ached for him. You didn’t want to do that to him. Of course you thought about it, but that was clearly before you realized Bucky wanted to be with you.

“I won’t leave.”

“We can stay in my room all day. You don’t even have to get out of bed. I can grab a couple game consoles from downstairs and we play on the tv. We order breakfast. I’ll wash your clothes. We have a washing machine in the basement,” Bucky said excitedly, you smiled excited as well for your day with Bucky.

“Can we take a shower first?” you asked.

“Yes of course, let’s take a shower.”

“Let’s?” you wiggled your eyebrows.

“Of course. Maybe we can pop in a couple rounds while we’re at it,” Bucky winked.

“Bucky!”

______________________

Ok, all done. :) Hope you liked it and maybe give it a little like or reblog? You don’t have  to though lol

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ! 

@baddie-barnes

@calwitch

@red42985

[sweetlyskz]

Drama Class

Genre: Collage AU!, Acting AU!, Drama, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: Drama class has always been your safe space, a place for you to show off your amazing acting abilities, but when the new student, Kim Seokjin, joins your class, you find it hard to keep up.

Warnings: handjob, sex without protection, language... I think that's it :/

Word count: 1,5K

Finally, the second to last class of the day is almost over. You stare at the clock, waiting for it to hit 1:20 pm. Then, at 1:19, you finally hear it.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

You pick up your things and launch out of your boring Calculus class, heading o your favorite class of the day. Drama class. On your way there, however, you bump into some kid who is obviously not watching where he's going. Just as you go to tell him off he says,

"I'm so sorry, I'm trying to find my last class, uhh, room 304. Do you happen to know where that is?"

"Actually, yes I'm headed there now. You can come with me. Drama class right?"

"Yes, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You both walk to drama class very awkwardly. Once you guys get inside he sits right next to you, making you uncomfortable. He looks at you and whispers while the teacher is explaining the improve assignment for the day.

"My name is Jin by the way. You?"

"Oh, I'm y/n."

"Very pretty name y/n. How long have you been acting? Personally I like to act but I like singing way more. I actually take these vocal lessons and…”

God, he talks a lot, you think to yourself. You ignore him and ask the teacher to go to bathroom, needing a serious break from his constant talking. When you come back to class you see that kid Jin making everyone laugh with his improve skills. Even your teacher was getting along with him perfectly, as if he had been in this class since the beginning of the school year. This definitely made you upset. That should be you in front of the class, humoring people with your improve skills. Who does he think he is to show up and come for your spot like that?

As the school year continued, your dislike for Jin only grew stronger. In drama class, he always got the main roles. He looked at you with a smile that you greatly despise. Maybe your paranoia was getting to you but something was telling you that behind that smile was a person who was selfish and deviant. These thoughts led you to distance yourself from him, making smart remarks whenever he would practice or perform. He didn't really know your reasons for hating him but he knew for sure that you did.

On your way to drama class make eye contact with Jin who is talking to someone down the hall. You quickly break eye contact and speed down the hall as he tries to catch up with you.

"y/n! wait up!"

When Jin finally catches up you both walk in silence until he speaks up.

"have you been okay lately?" he asks you. "You hardly show up to drama class and when you do no one really notices, well except me.”

"oh yeah, I'm okay. I just kinda gave up."

"what? why? you love acting."

"Because... you showed up"

"Wow. you know, I had I feeling you didn't like me for some reason, but why? I have done nothing to!"

You both stop walking, now raising your voice in the middle of the hallway.

"Done nothing to me? Ever since you joined the class you have made everything difficult for me! You take my spot in class. You get all of the main roles. Why does everything come easy for you? You can't just-"

Jin cuts you off by wrapping his arms around your waist and passionately kissing you, you kissing him back. He smiles into the kiss and you slowly pull away.

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. It wasn't my intention, I swear.”

"Well you did", you say trying to still stay mad at him.

"I guess I just wanted to impress you, and everyone else, but more importantly you." You look at him confusingly. Why would he do that? I mean it’s understandable that he show what he can do to the teacher, but why was your opinion so important?

"Impress me? Why would you feel the need to impress me?"

"Because y/l/n y/n, if you haven’t noticed yet, I like you. I mean I really wanted to get to know you but you started ghosting me and-"

You pull him in for another kiss, cutting him off. He kisses you back and wraps his arms around your waist, smiling into the kiss.

"I like you too Kim Seokjin. I guess it just took me a while to realize it. And I’m sorry for being so jealous towards you. I can be a little oblivious and in my head sometimes."

"A little?" He remarks.

You giggle like a a little school girl and playfully hit his arm. You wonder what will happen now that you both have expressed your feelings for each other. Would you go on a date? Or maybe he doesn't want to be with you after you judged him. As if he could read your mind he says,

"Drama class is over in like 10 minutes so there's no real point in going. How about I take you to one of my favorite thinking spots on campus?" You smile and nod. With that he grabs your hand and gently pulls you out of the back doors of the main building, guiding you a secluded tree in the Uni's garden. Surrounding the tree are beautiful roses and tulips.

"Wow, this is so pretty", you say, sitting next to Jin in the grass. "How often do you come here?"

"Pretty often. I usually come here when I need to clear my head or ponder on things. It's always quiet over here, easy for me to just take a break from everything."

You gaze over at Jin, who is playing with the tulips next to him. He looks so perfect. With the sun beaming on one side of his face and the wind blowing his silky hair. You feel like you've fallen in love, not just because of his appearance but also because of his wise words. When he realized how quiet you were being he turns toward you, only to catch you staring at him.

"Everything okay?"

"Kiss me."

He laughs at your sudden comment. "do what?" he says.

You smile at him. "I said kiss me dork."

He waste no time and does what he's told, entangling his hands in your hair and kissing you softly. The soft kiss turns in to a heated make out session under the tree. You climb onto his lap and shower his neck with kisses and love bites. As much as he wants to take it further he stops you there.

"Not now baby, later."

"Please, I'll be quick I promise", you respond, slowly grinding on his lap.

"Fuck", he moans. "5 minutes."

You start back up kissing on his neck while unbuttoning and pulling the zipper down on his pants. "Fuck, I'm so needy right now". He groans quietly as you palm his hardening cock through his boxers.

"If you dont stop teasing baby I swear I will fuck you right against this tree", he says, grabbing your hand and putting it in his boxers. You take the hint and pull his underwear down for his erection to spring free (ya'll I giggled lmao). You use the precum already spilling out of his cock and move your hand up and down his length slowly, earning a moan from Jin.

"Shit ,baby please."

You decide to tease him a bit more. "please, what?"

"I need you pussy so bad right now, please." You suddenly remove you hand from Jin's cock, making him whimper, and slide your pants down along with your underwear. Aligning his throbbing cock with your heat, you slowly go down on him, causing a string of cuss words to come out of Jin's mouth.

"mm, baby your so big, fuck", you moan quietly in his ear. Finally, you start to ride his cock, making him grab tightly onto your waist. He moans when you start to suck on his neck, leaving even more hickeys on his collarbone. You reach your hand down and play with your clit, moaning in Jin's ear.

"Shit- I'm gonna come y/n", he exclaims. You ride him a little faster and use your free hand rub his nipples. he moans your name loudly, cumming inside you. you follow him soon after, convulsing on his cock, moaning his name. He gently pushes you off his cock, becoming too sensitive. "Well, I can checking fucking under a tree off of my bucket list", Jin says playfully. You laugh while getting up and putting your clothes back on. Jin does the same, buttoning his pants back up.

"So, are you free tomorrow night?"

"Depends. Is it a date or a booty call?"

He laughs until he realized you weren't joking. "A date of course."

You start to walk away, heading back home. Before you go you yell over to him. "Sure. I'll be ready by 8, don't be late."

-

-

-

A/n: Yes I know this is poorly written but personally I think I'm getting better :) I'll have a jk fic ready for you guys sometime this week.