Re: the forearm squeeze. The take I've seen floating around these days is that Caleb was out there doing his damned best to honeypot Essek while Essek's demi ass was just happy to have a study buddy, and I concede that that IS a very funny and not-completely-inaccurate way of framing early Shadowgast.
HOWEVER, I don't think that's the full truth of it. Liam, at least, has said of the forearm squeeze that Caleb genuinely was trying to comfort Essek and did feel badly about the group pushing him to his limits. And Essek did not respond well to that! He saw Caleb openly trying to ingratiate himself to Essek and did not tolerate it!
I think what the "Essek was oblivious to Caleb's honeypotting" takes miss is that while Caleb was certainly attracted to Essek from early on, it was never anything that he acted on in either an obviously romantic or sexual way. For all that the joke now is that Caleb is a bisexual maelstrom, and for all that that is true in its way, the other truth is that especially during that period of time, Caleb had repressed his romantic/sexual interests extremely hard (see everything about his attraction to Jester and how that played out).
So while the manipulation and the attempts to impress Essek were definitely there along with the attraction, I don't think it's so much a case of Essek "missing" Caleb's advances out of demisexual naivete (a narrative I resent a bit, to be honest); rather I think on Essek's end, he WAS aware that Caleb was trying to ingratiate himself to him, and was cautious of that, but ultimately was won over because beyond Caleb's attempts at manipulation, there was also genuine shared interest and chemistry between them.
In other words, imo, early Shadowgast wasn't a case of Caleb trying and failing and then eventually succeeding to seduce Essek. It was a case of two people who are very cautious and distrustful and manipulative by nature feeling each other out and realizing that they genuinely enjoy each other's company, and, eventually (very eventually, as it turns out) figuring out a balance between them that accounts for the complicated relationship they each have with intimate relationships.
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hey, fandom aros and aces and aroaces! wanna do lists of the characters we most want to eat garlic bread and cake with?
of course i understand that saying you desire someone carnally is internet hyperbole at least i think it is, at least some of the time?
but i'm in the mood to do some wrap up lists, and that one doesn't make my brain whir the way i want. but i'm finding there are characters i want to, like, make a nice cup of tea for
or like. bonk on the head with a cardboard tube. stick a fruit sticker on. go thrift store shopping with. do my nails with. you know?
EDIT: prompt list here! if you see this post and want to try it out, consider yourself tagged
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i really need to overhaul my entire toyhouse in regards to that last post. a lot of my characters were made when i was much younger and ive kind of kept their List Of Labels out of habit. not that having a bunch of labels is bad (i have a bunch) but most of my characters that are at least part of a bigger story/world feels weird to just. have these all listed down when it really wont be relevant in regards to the story and in a way feels like preventing wider interpretation
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Okay some people talk about asexuality in a way that makes me really wonder about their views on allosexual people too. Like. Some of the things people are saying or writing are so weird. This is too vague, oh well. It's the framing of one-sided unwanted attraction or unwanted romantic/sexual actions like they're worse, so much worse because Alastor is ace. Like, you know harassment is still bad even if the victim could be attracted to the perpetrator, right? Even if they are attracted to the person harassing them, it's still horrifying.
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Today on what the hell am I talking about with my friends:
The Demon reproduction process, and by extension, possible Vergil asexual reproduction?????? Um, I don't know how this started to be honest, but if anyone wants an in depth analysis of what we discussed do not ask I won't give it to you.
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Okay BUT that ancient idea that all 'good' women don't have any sexual desires at all, only men do is highly destructive and still influencing society today...
For a very long time, I was so uncomfortable with the idea of having a sexuality at all because I internalized that shit. YES, REALLY!
For many years, I fought for the rights of my gay friends fiercely (all the while not connecting the dots of why it mattered to me on a more personal level).
I was loudly vocal about LGBT activism at my college, all while living like a nun and avoiding ever having to deal with any of my personal feelings.
Suppressing yourself like I did is NOT healthy. I wouldn't suggest it at all.
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Ain’t no way I just saw a reposted TikTok with the words BISEXUAL AROMANTIC SPECIFICALLY BESIDE EACH OTHER and it was tagged as AROACE AND NOT AROALLO.
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