#and then have to bonk myself like ‘no. you don’t actually want to write them’

[bravevolunteer]

i have a problem called i have to fight off the urge to make a sideblog for a… handful of fnaf characters because i don’t even want to WRITE them i just wanna reblog posts and ramble about personal headcanons

[brokenpieces-72]

Warlock Wellness

COD X Destiny AU. Based on @emmster ‘s blog.

Rodolfo was exhausted. He’d been running around doing some solo missions. Honestly he needed some time away from his fire team. Especially after some of the missions they’d gone on. Having other warlocks during hive raids for destroying rituals was great but it didn’t stop the fact that Alejandro was a bonk Titan and Paloma was a pole dancer. They could get the objectives but it didn’t make it any less difficult. Alejandro had taken notice of his frustration last raid and told him to take some time for himself.

Rodolfo finished up turning in his quests, sorting some loot and engrams, and was gonna get some food. He went to his room and decided to get changed, shower, do some reading-wait.

“Rudy, your texts aren’t on the side table.” His ghost called, as he came out of the bathroom. Rodolfo came over and noticed the texts were missing. Did he put them away on his-not on the shelf. Honestly, he would worry about it later. Right now he was hungry and wanted to eat. That and check on his fire team. Paloma had likely spent the day speeding around in her sparrow and Alejandro probably tagged along with another fire team for some missions.

Rodolfo headed for a usual lounge spot the three of them would relax in with the other teams. Originally he was going to send them a message telling them to meet him there. Then he arrived at the lounge. He found Paloma and Alejandro were already there, with his missing texts, asleep.

Sunny and Asada were hovering nearby, going over the texts themselves. Sunny looked up and flew over to the warlock.

“How was your day?” Sunny asked.

“Good…what were they…?” Rodolfo asked gesturing to the two sleeping guardians.

“They were researching hive rituals. Sorry we kind of broke into your room to get them, and Johnny lent us some of his too.” Sunny explained. Rudy was a little annoyed they took the texts without asking but when he looked over and saw they had actually been writing notes and realized their ghosts had been studying with them… he smiled.

Rodolfo started to gather the texts and papers, finding they had been scribbling away at new ones, copying passages to refer to later, and there was even some decoding keys for the runes. Alejandro started to stir, waking up.

“Rudy? When did you get back?” He muttered.

“Not long ago. You were here the whole day?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah.” Alejandro said, sitting up. “We figured understanding the runes better would make the raids easier. That way you don’t have to multitask.”

“You gave me a whole day to myself for that?” Rodolfo asked.

“Paloma said you seemed pretty wiped out, and a day to yourself would be better.” Alejandro said, yawning. Rudy joined him on the couch, leaning against the titan’s shoulder. Alejandro returned it.

“Thank you, Alej.” Rodolfo said. He pulled away. “If you really want to help though, please for the love of everything we know quit running into encounters because Paloma just chased after you and then I have to clean it up.”

Alejandro took the warlocks look and the blunt statement as a solid warning.

“Si, Rudy.” Alejandro said.

Taglist: @yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666 @bestbookfriends

[lixenn]

For your khr 3.0 questions!! ⚙️, 👻, 🦟 and lastly 🎁!

How late am I to answer my own fucking questions?

Yes.

As you might have guessed I did not prepare answers for my ask game in advance, so this took me ages to get to OTL

Thank you for your patience Momo, have my take on my silly questions:

⚙️You somehow, in some way ended up as a Vongola guardian. Now, what form does your Vongola gear take?

Why me? Why did Reborn drag me into his recruitment scheme 😭😭 I’m just some guy, an innocent lil bean that has done no wrong. Ignore those schmucks chilling in the ditch, they are just taking a nap. …. What? Blood? Nah that’s just ketchup, don’t worry about it, they are fineeee~

Aehm…

Now that I have delivered some nonsense let’s get to the actual questions:

I’m really not a jewellery person, I do have various bracelets, necklaces and some rings but the only jewellery I really wear on a day to day basis are my earrings. I mostly stick to my two trusty hoops and leave the other two holes alone simply because the hoops are the only ones that won’t bug me when I sleep.

So, my Vongola gear will most likely take the form of earrings and since I’m a Cloud (because I wanna be one lmao) I’d say I would have dangling knife earrings, where I can easily take off the knife part (maybe some magnetic mechanism? or simply Vongola gear bullshittery) resize the weapons and then dual wield them in battle. Or if I wanna go distance just throw them at the enemy over and over again because the Propagation property just allows me to duplicate my weapons for as long as I feed them my flames.

(Disclaimer: I have not reread the shimon arc in years and I really don’t have the energy for a research dive rn so I’m taking artistic liberties for how a Vongola gear works)

👻Which KHR character is your spirit animal?

This is an easy one! It’s Fuuta! Simply because I resonate so much with these panels, they speak to my soul:

While I don’t really mind the rain unless it’s storming and I need to go places, the wonky part… I know it’s just a translation but I use “my brain is wonky” so much… Fuuta and I… two sides of the same coin…

As for this one… that line is so fucking accurate. I often get ideas either late at night when I want to sleep, when I’m outside on a walk or even when I meditated recently. And by god if I don’t write the exact sentence down at the moment it comes to me, it will be lost to the void. I might be able to remember the basic premise (which is less likely when I have an idea while half asleep) but the phrasing will be gone unless I note it down. It has caused me much frustration and it’s the reason why I write notes on my walks or sacrifice my sleep at times.

So have this quote from my khr reread: “Fuuta is my spirit animal, my soulmate, my darling babyboy.”

🦟 There's been an "accident" and one of Shamal's mosquitos got you good. What deadly disease are you infected with?

Need… to draw… need… need to write…

Creation so near but yet so far. The longing so overwhelming it borders on obsession, alas no words bring joy, no art brings peace. For I have been struck down with maniac creative block, which compels you into wanting to create with your entire being while at the same time preventing any creation from happening via intense burnout and extreme self-doubt. Thus, eventually leading me into a pit of despair which I won’t be able to dig myself out of. RIP me 😔

🎁 bonk "Fuck!" A box has fallen into your lap. It seems like it can be opened via flames. It could be anything: a weapon, a box animal, random junk or radioactive waste some dipshit sealed away for shit and giggles. It's a ✨ mystery box ✨ What will you do with it?

I stare at the box.

The box doesn’t stare back but that was more based on the lack of eyes than anything else.

It appeared out of nowhere, hitting my head with particular viciousness like spiteful God chucked it into the mortal realm in a rage. One wouldn’t expect that a thing that small could do this much damage but the throbbing pain at the top of my skull suggests otherwise.

Now what to do with a mystery box…

Curiosity gnaws at me.

A normal person would throw this thing into the trash. They would get rid of it and move on with their life. Common sense would tell them to not interact with the box that could contain who knows what and might possibly be cursed.

However, I’m a scientist. I’m a scientist that has been handed a funky new thing, which holds countless possible outcomes in its tiny square body.

Naturally, self-preservation is yeeted out of the nearest window and I’m reaching for my notebook, phone and toolbox.

Time to pick the mystery apart.  

Khr ask game 3.0

[captainaikus]

BELLEEEEEE!!!!! I’ve missed you so much 😭😭😭😭😭!!!!! Typing this as I’m sitting in my car after getting out of my last class. FINALS. ARE. FINALLY. OVER. And I passed all my classes with As!!!! Final exams went really well too!!! I feel like I’m gonna fall and pass out for 12 hours. Which I actually did yesterday because I had finished all my exams/classes but I had one more class to go to today.

BUT ENOUGH ABT ME HOW ARE YOU MY DEAR SWEET BLUE PUNK FAIRY FRIEND??? Have you been eating and drinking water?? Resting??? Taking breaks??? Isabelle. If you haven’t. *gently bonks head* Oliver would reprimand you too yknow? And not the fun bedroom scolding. TAKE BREAKS LOVE!!!! 😭😭❤️ Taking regular breaks is a responsibility to yourself that everyone forgets sometimes when they get lost in all their other responsibilities. Multitasking writing different works too much can cause headaches, speaking from experience sweetheart. And going to the gym is great but your body needs to relax and rest too. Water and a good meal and a hot shower/bath do wonders after a long session do wonders trust me. So please rest okay?

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.6K 🎉✨🥳!!!! The numbers keep climbing so fast and all these milestones are amazing!!!! I’m so proud of you love 🥹✨❤️!!!

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHOS WATCHED KUROKO NO BASKET. Seriously the fandom is almost completely dead 😭😭💀. I knew it was a oldie but a goody but I didn’t think it was dust and tumbleweeds out here 😭😭. So glad you like it too!! Haikyuu will always be my favorite sports anime and one of my top favorites in general, it holds a really special place in my heart, but KnB was still a really fun watch.

ASFKKFFKJFHKHJG. THAT OLVER ART. Pls he’d hate getting out of bed and just become a complete octopus in the mornings. You gotta wake him up for practice and it’s such a chore. He’s such a big baby pshhhh. But there are some upsides like him saying the only way he’s gonna get up is if you place exactly 100 kisses all over his face, more than half of them end up being on the lips when he actually starts to get up, and you relent every money with a roll of your eyes and and huff and a fond smile he misses cause his eyes are closed. The first thing you do is wipe off that smug smirk from his face. Also hc that Oliver is actually really ticklish and it’s your weapon. Don’t get up even after the kisses? His sides are looking very open rn. Wont get off after flopping on you on the couch? You’re in the perfect position to reach his armpits. Wont stop clinging to you while you’re trying to do a new eye makeup style for your guys’ date? His neck is literally wide open cause he loves smushing his face into the crook of your neck.

What video? Did you post it on your other account? Because I couldn’t find it. Dangit I wanted to simp for Oliver too 😭😭.

Seriously I’m an introvert what are you gonna do? Lock me inside your house? Great free access to your clothes. Still me seeing friends? What friends babe? Take me everywhere with you? Nice let me grab my book and coffee and we’re good to go. Adjkgfhnjhhhv 💀💀.

That girl shoving into you was so rude. All it takes is a simple excuse me dude. And ISTG PEOPLE WHO SPOIL THINGS WHEN NO ONE ASKED 😤😤😤. They seriously piss me off and ruin the experience. See it’s different when I intentionally spoil myself because I’m too impatient. Someone else doing it? Oh heck no. Its the same feeling as someone taking the last of your favorite snack from the vending machine.

Also just a heads up. I’m gonna sending in multiple asks cause there’s just too much I wanna talk abt and breaking it into parts sounds better. So this is the first one. *sends aggressive virtual hugs that feel like they squish all the exhaustion out of you*

- ✨ anon

Starry! Omg- All As! That's great! And it's a good thing you took rest too- ik that i'm bout to pass out when i finish exams. I hope you're doing alright tho! Sorry it took me long to get to your ask; tumblr is being weird cause i can only see it when i get on my pc... and not on the app. yeah no I'm moving to ao3. i saw the rb of which character i would interpret the best and you said- Oliver Ofc. he's my husband but he doesn't know it yet ૮꒰ ˶> ༝ <˶꒱ა Well, I've been doing pretty good! I finished a jar of nutella (in 2 days) and i'm planning to buy a bigger one; i did drink a lot of water, ate some pasta, taking rest too made a wedding playlist for me and aiku and lowkey enjoyed it *the way i laughed when i saw : And not the fun bedroom scolding.' I'd like to see Oliver reprimand me (truth : he can't. Cause he knows at the end of the day even if he's bigger and stronger than me, he is gonna be beneath me) but yeah he'd probably say something like "you're gonna get sick, doorbell." But yeah i've been taking rest, dw starry! i'm actually giving myself a treat. with ao3 i can take things slow and easy tbh, which is another reason i'm moving there. The blog will be up ofc; to answer asks and for anons who wanna talk to me abt my work, but yeah my activity on ao3 is gonna be very irregular... THANK YOU!! 1.6k is such a big number, past me would have been like 'huh... never thought i'd make it this far.' BUT YEAH I DID ! T.T But actually it’s you guys who got me there so thank you everyone 💓

I think everyone thought that they were the only ones who watched knb; me included. I used to have the BIGGEST crush on aomine, i even found an asmr of his. (and yeah i do listen to asmrs btw) And yeah the fandom is almost dead (｡ ́︿ ̀｡) and I didn’t even get to read that many aomine works too…but yeah I really liked that anime! Haikyuu made me cry after clannad and also made me laugh the hardest, does hold a special place in my heart as well, Bokuto was my fav and rn… no one really. I like all of them cause they’re so unique yk?

As for the Oliver art, pretty sure he would hold you down to the bed. He would demand kisses! He is such a smooth talker- but since I’m me. When he expects a kiss *places hand on his lips before you kiss* “good morning. It’s time to get up” and he just groans when you have a tiny smirk and walk out of your shared bedroom, and his brain just going ‘god woman. You’re gonna be the death of me.’

How- I think I’m getting too predictable with my writing cause I do have something to do with eye makeup in Ocean hues… 👁️ *but we don’t talk abt that cause no spoilers!*

The video! Starry. I BLEW A FUSE CAUSE OF THAT REEL. so story time, I was checking my insta in the morning after I woke up and this gym based reel popped on my feed. And the moment I saw it - I thought of Oliver. Like alright fineeeee this is a guy Idek on the internet just doing his own thing and posting fitness reels but his body. IT LOOKED. LIKE. OLIVER. AND HIS HAIR WAS LIKE AIKU’S TOO! I’m not even joking - The shaggy hair down at the back minus the green highlights - it’s like the way I imagined Oliver’s body to be like. And- I really wasn’t expecting to see THAT in the morning. So it was a really great start to my day- and I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a whole day so I had to save it. I posted the link for a bit so that blue (💙 anon) and other Aikuists could check it out and we were just fawning over this guy. I took the link down soon after cause I didn’t want anyone reblogging it and creating chaos. I’ll put the link again and take it down in 10 mins. I’m telling you though. IT. WAS. FUCKING. HOT. (i'll be putting up the link in a bit and taking it down too you should totally take a look at it- cause the content is not mine neither do i know the guy but FUCK. THAT LOOKED LIKE OLIVER.) The free access to clothes 😭 Happy relationship = yandere bf + a very introverted partner oliver stealing my oversized clothes in the corner I'm an introverted person as well introverted enough to terrify a yandere as well istg- idk who that was, but it was rude to push shove someone and not apologize for it or even an excuse me. and the girl who spoiled wednesday, never saw her again. i get that someone's enthusiastic about a show, but at the same time... some consideration for people around you 😭 anyway, that times gone and i got a lot of better things to move onto like movies, working out and just overall, making myself happy and having a good day yk? *Sending hugs back*

[duckymcdoorknob]

I posted 3,656 times in 2022

1,223 posts created (33%)

2,433 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@duckymcdoorknob

@helenawa-art

@giggly-squiggily

@carryingthebanner

@spiritingawaytoanime

I tagged 1,476 of my posts in 2022

#planet dumbfuck - 618 posts

#written in the stars - 420 posts

#ducky’s moonbeams 🤍 - 270 posts

#t content - 174 posts

#anon - 109 posts

#my actual genuine fav - 75 posts

#cutesy confections - 75 posts

#cosmic chaos - 71 posts

#life of ducky - 68 posts

#anime - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#when your sociology teacher assigns a project on monday and says it’s due friday but you miss the in class work days

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Um hello I’m kinda new here… I found your emergency requests on someone else’s blog and I really need one right now. My mom wont stop making comments on my body. It makes me feel really bad about myself all the time. Can you please write Takemichi, Chifuyu and Mikey comforting an s/o with body image issues? Thank you if you do write this!! If not, or if it’s too much, please just trash this!

Of course my dear.

Thank you for trusting me with this. I know ALL about this one.

(Brb manifesting Mikey’s)

Please don’t hesitate to come in my dms if you need any help at all.

CW UNDER THE CUT: mentions of bodyshaming.

See the full post

236 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

#4

Hello! I'm here for another order, if isn't too much!

I would like a dark chocolate in oval form, with ganache, oreo and raspberry creme fillings! With Gold Foil (Saiki himself). Have a great day! :)

HELLO MI AMORE, COMING RIGHT UP!

I WILL be having a great day now, I wish you one as well.

So you better have one (ง'̀-'́)ง

This one’s a specific scenario! Oopsie he’s a little OOC here, but oh well.

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑥 𝑤𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑦 ❤︎

See the full post

320 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

#3

LAWDY I’m such a Kurapika simp helpppp

𝕆𝕜𝕒𝕪 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖...

The passing streetlights becoming nothing but blurry shines of ochre, as you were blinking in and out of reality. The low hum of the wheels against the road further lulling you to give into your exhaustion.

The only thing keeping you awake being Kurapika’s gentle humming with the radio. His peaceful voice accurately hitting every note, further leaving you wanting to hear it more and more. Him carefully maneuvering around obstacles and potholes to keep the little ones asleep.

Said little ones being absolutely knocked out in the backseat, with you sitting patiently in between them. Against your left thigh, laying Gon. His bright, determined and sparkly eyes, now being shut and unmoving. His mouth hanging slightly agape. As for your right shoulder, Killua taking refuge there. His fluffy hair resting against you, his normally stoic face relaxing peacefully. Gentle snores emitting from his mouth.

Your eyes continuously blinking as you stir in and out of reality. Finally drooping your head downward, gently bonking heads with Killua.

“Hey, (Y/N)…? You doing alright back there?” The blonde at the wheel asking, him stealing a glance through the rearview.

His eyes fixating upon your sleeping figure, and the little boys sleeping on either side of you.

“I guess they are.” Him replying to himself sweetly.

“Aww. How considerate.” Leorio cooing softly from his front seat.

“Hey! Leave me alone” the Kurta quietly yelping in response.

The brunette shaking his head and staring at the passing buildings and cars.

“Sweet dreams, everyone.” A whispered message being the last thing Leorio heard before his own head was lolling to the side.

See the full post

476 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

I’m so silly

803 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This is gonna be the first time I request from you and I hope you don't mind :))

An emergency request pls. So, i have this tendency of talkinga a lot, principally when its about something I really enjoy, one thing that is normal to happen when I talk too much is people interrupting me out of nowhere and never letting me finish, any time someone does that I just feel like crying honestly, and of course that happened today and no one seemed to notice. Could I have a scenario with Saiki where his partner normally suffers with that?

It's okay if you don't want to, have a great day :))

Hi of course you can!! Thank you for requesting!

Sorry about the long wait lmao I have a couple (like 10) of these in my inbox

CW BELOW THE CUT: Reader is ignored :(

See the full post

1,655 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[crowtrobotx]

Literally no one asked and people far more intelligent and articulate than me have already summarized my opinions, but I love hearing myself talk so uhhh DLC thoughts under the cut

So first of all I’m not mad that the Lords didn’t reappear - not really - and I think a lot of the folks claiming that Capcom “didn’t give the fans what they wanted” or somehow misrepresented the product are… respectfully, not entirely correct. This franchise is way bigger than this one game and four villains, and the people who really loved those particular characters ultimately make up a small part of the fan base. I don’t really blame them for trying to appeal to the larger, core group of their players. Would I have loved to have seen them? Yes, of course. Do I think Capcom personally owed me anything? No, they can tell whatever story they want to tell. I think it’s fine and understandable to be disappointed but I’m kind of bothered by some folks’ expectations that creators give them exactly what they want all the time.

THAT BEING SAID… as others have pointed out it feels very weird and borderline shitty that they proceeded to use the Lords’ realms and personalities and aesthetics without them being there. Why did the Not Duke speak and behave exactly like Heisenberg? Why did we get all of Donna’s cool doll horror elements in her own house and then…. No Donna? I dunno, as fucking awesome as the mannequin enemy sequence was, it was pretty unfulfilling to just wrap it up with “whoops it’s Eveline again.” (This is not Eveline slander. I love her, to be clear.) It almost felt like taunting tbh, like, here you can see the echoes of a couple of the lords (not Moreau tho fuck him apparently) but it would have just been TOO MUCH to even put in any written lore or references.

I did really enjoy seeing Rose and Ethan get to interact - father feels, my heart - but this got overshadowed by the fact that we then had…. the exact same Miranda boss fight from the base game. Seriously, why? Miranda’s death at Ethan’s hands was so satisfying and powerful and then to just… do it again as Rose kind of cheapens the original ending, imho.

And my biggest grievance: MIA. Oh my fucking God, where was Mia? Why, Capcom? Why do you insist on giving people more fodder to write bizarre hate rants about her on their shipping posts??? I’m mad for my girl! She ain’t perfect but she got fucked so hard thanks to the absence of literally any character development/information.

At the end of the day, I actually did have fun with it - there were parts that were really interesting/great - but as I knew going in, Capcom doesn’t really write satisfying character arcs and I figured Heisenberg and Lady D being in mercenaries was probably a consolation prize. As I said at the beginning, I don’t feel like I was owed anything - especially considering they never planned DLC for this game - but if they were gonna make something I would have at least preferred that it not be half-assed. It’s like for every good thing we encountered there was something so unbearably lazy that, while I didn’t hate it, it does make me wonder what the point of this whole extra story was.

Oh well. Lack of additional lore just means we get to do whatever the hell we want with these characters, I guess.

And I get to BONK lycans with the boy. 😈

[therealvalkyrie]

god i’m so sorry to bring that up like a very annoying person but…… it really bugged me

what you described in your fic « deserving » is not at all how you should treat a nosebleed…… quite the opposite actually

you should never put your head back and plz don’t ever put gauze (or anything else for that matter) in your nose to stop the bleeding…. it’s a very common misconception but you really shouldn’t and i’m not saying this because my entourage told me saw but as someone trained to give first aid

i feel like its time to share what you actually should or shouldn’t do here and why to educate everyone reading your blog

so here what you actually should do:

sit up right, put your head slightly forward and press your nose (not to hard) with your fingers for at least 10min.

all the material you need to treat a nosebleed are your hands and water and towels to clean yourself from the blood afterwards.

you really dont want to put your head back bcz you’ll be swallowing blood and that’s not great bcz you’ll end up vomiting

plz never put anything inside your nose especially not cotton balls (they’re the worst!! they tend to stick to your wound and this is a problem..). The reason for that is that, once the bleeding stop and you remove the thing you had put in to stop the bleeding, it’ll tore open the healed again and you’ll be re-bleeding.

you want to gently blow your nose every few minutes to avoid blood clots to form for the same reason you don’t put anything inside your bleeding nostril; when the blood clot dry it’ll become annoying and you risk re-bleeding once it get out. you have to be very gentle when doing this.

if your bleeding is caused by and head injury, lasts for more than 30min, is frequent or very abundant or if it’s in a child under 2 go see a doctor asap !!!! don’t take this lightly.

using gauze is usually the better way to clean and bandage a cut or open wound because it is made for this use and won’t fall appart on the wound, i’m happy you mentioned gauze in your fic instead of anything else, but for a nosebleed it’s not appropriate.

again i’m sorry to bother you with this but this is important and too many people don’t know how to correctly treat a nosebleed, i took this as the perfect opportunity to teach people how to do this

hi! thank you for taking the time to educate me, i can see you’re very passionate about the subject.

y’know, i debated while writing the fic whether or not to include this line (which is the one i think you’re so incensed about):

“you open your watery eyes and tilt your head back like your mom always told you to do with a nosebleed.“

because (and i know this might come as a shock to you, considering you assumed i don’t know anything at all!) i do actually know that you’re not supposed to tilt your head back when your nose is bleeding. i have some first aid training, and was a nanny to my little cousin with frequent nosebleeds for a summer a while back. (though, i wouldn’t expect you to know that:))

but i thought to myself, “what might your average high schooler who’s just been bonked in the face do?” and i said to myself, “why, self, she might not know this little tidbit of fairly obscure first aid information, and might simply rely on a common misconception that perhaps her mother told her!” and i called it a day.

you might note, also, that there are no qualified medical personnel or first responders at the volleyball practice in question who would know what to do with a nose break. one could argue that the coaches might have some first aid training, but it’s my goddamn story, and in this particular little fantasy i concocted about falling in love with anime men, they do not. so they did what they thought was right and patched her up with stuff from the first aid kit, as best as they were able. (and, as you might note, i never said anyone put gauze inside her nose.)

now, when we get to the nurse’s office, one might also argue that the nurse would have handled it differently! because she is in fact a qualified medical professional. perhaps i could have included some dialogue about how she instructed our dear reader to gently blow her nose. alas, i did not.

luckily, i don’t believe anyone’s coming to my blog for emergency medical advice! and if someone takes what i’ve written in a self-indulgent little fantasy about falling in love with an anime boy as indisputably correct medical fact, i can’t exactly say that’s on me. that one can be pinned on whoever neglected to teach them reading comprehension or how to separate fiction from reality.

what it comes down to is that i believe what i wrote makes sense within the context of the story. thanks again for taking the time out of your day to educate me. please know that i, too, once suffered from insufferable know-it-all disease, and there is a path to redemption. godspeed.

[rrasado]

May I request a head canon of first years dealing with a mother hen yuu? How do they initially react to it and how will they treat yuu forward on if this behavior continues on?

Motherly Affections

AGAOKWJS THIS REQUEST IS SO FLUFFY I LOVE IT ISKWMA- as a mom friend myself to a uh- a whole class I really enjoyed writing this, hopefully y’all enjoy this one n.n

When you’re a mother hen:

Honestly, he found your behavior annoying at first, he didn’t like being pulled back from his schemes or whatever.

You were just- the opposite of his big bro! He’d teach him how to do a lot of useful stuff for life and here you were countering it with your own moral compass as a chancla.

Yet at the same time he...finds comfort in your care from time to time, because as much as he found it annoying to an extent, he also finds comfort in the fact that someone cares for them enough to be patient with their antics. Not everyone really cared for troublemakers so...

Learns to make light of your dynamic, hey if you’re the squad’s mom then who’s the dad- then you proceed to lecture him but hey it was worth it, after all he got to push your buttons from time to time when you’re not busy lecturing them.

“Oi you’ll age faster if you keep furrowing your brows like that mom-“

In conclusion, it’s honestly a love hate relationship for him, but he’ll learn to take the good with the bad, you are after all the glue to all the crap they pull and break.

No surprise here but, you remind him a lot of his own mom. Just the way you baby them all gives him a sense of nostalgia.

But along with this he wondered, were you feeling the same way as his mom did? Were you two just really wanting what’s best for ruffians such as himself? It oddly felt comforting to him knowing that people will still care for others beyond blood.

That was the kind of solidarity he wished to have back in his delinquent days, joining gangs was something he thought would be his ticket to a good comradeship but you and his own mom proved him otherwise.

Learns to just go with it, overtime he’ll realize just how much he actually appreciated your maternal acts towards him and the group, because in an environment where most are at a fickle stage, a mediator like you is in called for.

“Are you ok tho? Maybe you should take it easy for a while...”

It sounds suspicious at first especially after what he and Ace had accidentally done but he means well, because if there’s anything he learned from his mother it’s that caring for others can be just as if not even more exhausting than other jobs. He offers his shoulder to lean on just like how you offer to be a pillar of rest for him and the rest.

Oh so that explains a lot- so from a pack of Cubs you manually carry them out of harm’s way huh..is this why you were so adamant on helping the adeuce duo into getting out of that octavinelle fiasco?

Jack actually admires you a lot for what you’re doing, initially it came off as skeptical because if there’s one thing he’s learned growing up with multiple people, it’s that genuine concern is rare.

But the more you and the first year gang spent time together the more he deems you with a golden heart and is honestly happy that there’s one more person that’s at the very least reliable and heck voluntary when it comes to snatching them out of trouble.

Even more so he tries to help you in any way he can without being the problem himself. At some point t Ace joked about jack being the dad but deuce rebutted with jack being the oldest child or something- he’d dismiss these antics as best as he can but he had to admit, even he was wondering what’s his role in all this

“Hey, how are you tho? You should take care of yourself as well...”

Overall, he learns to work with the dynamic, as he knows this type of genuinity is rare so he’ll do his best to support it. After all as an older sibling to his brother and sister, he’d wanna keep themselves safe in this twisted world.

He’s...a tender mix between Ace and deuce- initially he found you overbearing, why the hell fuss over something so small and insignificant? Why not let him just do what he deems ok? What are you Vil 2.0?

But as someone who was raised and surrounded by aged people, it oddly brings him a sense of familiarity, especially when you fuss over him over something like his behavior during certain events.

If you bring them towels during magift practice or even prepare special energy drinks (that surprisingly Vil approves). He’ll come into awe at your diligence even more.

And unlike Ace he goes from annoyed to voluntarily receiving, sometimes uses your doting nature as leverage against annoying guys at school. Besides as much as of a mom friend you are you take the best of both worlds.

“Hah! I bet y’all can’t handle them coming at you huh-“ “Epel that’s enough”

Part of the bonked squad during situations but oh well at least those pesky guys won’t bother him for a good while.

Initially as always, thinks it’s ridiculous especially considering how he denies being close with the gang and you but the student body says otherwise. He does after all spend time with you all because Lilia tells him to and that the he already has the young master covered.

Frankly it felt...both off and familiar to him, on one hand hey his mom was like that but on the other hand you...actually go out of your way to tend to him and the others despite not coming from this world and by extension not being of Blood with them.

As someone who has closely observed a dynasty type of family from his Waka sama. Unrelated doting just feels really foreign to him. He himself regards blood as something important and sacred. So when you do it so easily and daily to them, a bunch of ruffians in a big school. He finds himself in utter confusion.

Which then ultimately turns into secret admiration. Because he’ll never admit it out loud but he holds respect for you, your efforts are very admirable to the point he deems them condemnable.

“Human! Don’t mind those insolent fools you shouldn’t waste precious time and effort on such!”

The few times he tries to help it just...comes off as offensive for the others, so it’s your job to gently teach him how to care for others without degrading the rest. And he’s surprisingly willing, after all this might help him in his duties to the young master!

[fnf-amateur-writing]

Hey! It’s Fox again! How are you doing? I just started school back up today, so I’ve been busy Xp.

Think you would be cool with writing some Pico with an s/o who is a writer, and tends to ask him about things like “hey, how long does it take someone to bleed out” or other things like that?

I understand if you don’t feel like it, and I hope you’re having fun 😊

🦊

Hello again Fox, I'm doing quite well rn. I'm cool with your prompt, especially since I need more writing material anyways.

Took me a while, because I didn't want to do a hc, but rather come up with a oneshot with a little twist to the style. Well, hope it works well.

Good luck with school, mate!

TW: Mentions of violence, swearing, slight sexual reference, and crime.

Pico with a writer S/O who asks him strange questions

Prologue:

On a chilly autumn morning, you were sitting out on your patio with a laptop and a mug of your favourite beverage next to you. Whenever you looked up, you could see the warm coloured leaves fall as the breeze accompanied you. The whole scene was an aesthetic.

When your boyfriend, Pico, came outside to see this, he knew that the nice environment you surrounded yourself with meant one thing. "You're back in your writing space already. Heh, with that bestseller you published, I thought you were comfy taking a break." You simply smiled and said, "can't waste the inspiration rush I got right now."

Pico had a good point though, with your rising popularity as an author, you were near set to retire before turning fourty. But you wish you weren't given all of the credit, since your boyfriend's stories of his dodgy job has occasionally sparked some ideas for your stories. However the books you wrote in the past were usually meant for the young adult and had few mature themes. This time, you thought maybe it's time to garner extra inspiration from those stories.

You were met with some disappointment when you realised that your mug was empty, only a drop entering your mouth. "Here, babe, I'll ya some more," Pico said, taking your mug and walking inside. "Quick question," you stopped him. "Yeah?"

"What would be the best place for a murder cemetery?"

"... What?"

Chapter 1:

"So you're doing some story about the police hunting down a mass murderer?"

"Pretty much."

"And to think you were gonna write Pixar's next script. Aight' I respect that." Pico takes a seat next to you with a refill of your drink placed next to your favourite writing laptop. "Thanks, Pico. But yeah, I want to branch out to something edgier, and I think you can help too."

"Let me show you what I've got so far." You showed him some of your notes in a little notepad document, detailing the story thus far and your current plans for this chapter. "Oh, that's it? Just looks like boring police preparation mainly," Pico commented. "Yeah, it's not much right now. But it'll get juicy later." "And bloody?" "And bloody."

"Welp, I'm gonna head back in," Pico got up, "let me know if you need anything." He head back inside, closing the door, but then opened it almost immediately afterwards. Pico stuck his head out, "by the way, the guy should use some strong alcohol or something to throw off those sniffer dogs."

Chapter 2:

"And then, because they used a silencer, the police don't immediately notice the--"

"Nope! I'm calling bullshit (Y/N)!" Pico had suddenly interrupted your explanation of the scene you were currently working on. "Silencers can help prevent some hearing loss, sure, but they're not magic."

"Alright," you reply, "no silencer, but the killer still has to kill in a way to not get blood on them, so I thought shooting and killing them from a distance would work." "Well, they're alone. Instead, have the guy get shanked in the neck or something, and have the killer use a plastic bag as a glove. It saved my ass one time."

"Woah!" you exclaimed with a giggle, "you used a knife once? What happened to my trigger happy boyfriend, huh? That's pretty sus."

"I forgot to reload the Uzis, alright?"

"What an impostor would say."

Chapter 3:

"What would be the best way to muffle the scream of someone you kidnapped?"

You two were sitting on the couch together watching a show. You didn't have your laptop on you, so Pico didn't expect you to still be thinking about that book. "I can't say from experience, really," he said as he paused the show. "However, shove a rag in their mouth and duct tape it in, and you should be good."

"Thanks Pico, also one more thing." "Yeah?" "What if our killer also wanted to..." God, this one was gonna be awkward, but you had to say it or else no help. "You know, cut off this victim's willy. How would you do that?"

"Wai-wha-uh-ga," Pico started fumbling his words like never before. He stopped, then took a deep breath. "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" "It'll make sense in the story later, I promise!" You watch Pico begin to lose it, breaking into laughter. "Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Pico dramatically stood up, pulling a little Showcaster impression and directing his arms towards you, "my famous 'young' adult novelist partner!"

Chapter 4:

It was in the dead of night, but you awoke to Pico on his phone. His vpn was on and Tor was up. As per usual, he was checking up on his little hitman service, where others could request for a certain someone's guts to fly if they paid him a hefty sum first. Though tired, you ound this to be the best time to ask him some more questions.

"Pico, how do those sites work?"

"Oh, you're awake," Pico blankly stated, sleepy too. But he still answered you. "Basically, some anonymous rich guys in the area give me money and a target, then I just do the thing and send a mission accomplished email." "Do they pay you in person?" "Nah, we use always use Bitcoin. It's a lot harder to trace than real money."

"Thanks Pico. Goodnight," you wish him, yawning and going back to sleep. "You too... So this guy is a hit man too?" "Hush. Tomorrow." "Okay." Pico puts his phone away, leaving it on a nightstand. You then spoon the night away, peacefully thinking of murder as you drifted off.

Chapter 5:

On a morning similar to before, you two sat on the patio with your drinks and laptop at the ready. Pico watched rather awkwardly as you typed away, wondering why you haven't entertained him with another question yet.

"You gonna ask anything else?" "What? Oh, nah," you plainly state. Inevitable, sure, but he was kind of saddened. He liked being able to share his messed up wisdom. "So, you're done?" "Almost." You turn to look at him, "want the spoilers?" Pico smiled, "sure thing."

In the novella you and Pico crafted together, the main character is a cop who hunts down a killer. They eventually notice that there would be two murders at a time for unknown reasons. Well, it was unknown until one victim had left up a dark web hit man for hire site. They that the hit man not only kills the target, but the client as a hidden price for the service.

And any request will be fulfilled, according to the hit man's site.

"Do they catch 'em?" Pico asked. "Well, ANY request is granted. So, if our hero were to... hire him to kill himself..."

"No way!"

"He did. They find both of their bodies in his bedroom."

Pico was a bit impressed with the ending you came up with, but then he remembered something. "Why did that guy get his thing cut off?" "Lol, I forgot," you giggled. "He sent a message to the hit man, saying he wishes the target would choke on his dick."

"That's my favourite part."

Epilogue:

After everything was finished up, you sent the book off to your editor. After the initial joy of knowing how the story ended, you saw that Pico was still in thought. "What's up with you?" "Oh nothing, well it's just... I'm probably just biased, being that I'm a bit of a hitman myself, but it's kind of sad to see the guy go."

"Then I should spoil the epilogue I came up with." Rather than being excited, Pico nervously asked, "what's an epilogue?" He didn't get an answer, only you staring at him. "Sorry, school held too many bad memories for me to pay attention."

"Anyways," you continue, "the rest of the police gang did some background checks, and find that our killer was a normal guy with no criminal history."

"Penilian?"

"No. But I did decide to take a more supernatural approach here. Somewhere across the country, another string of double homicides occur and that site is active once more. And the story kind of repeats itself."

"Penilian."

"You joker," you give him a playful little kiss on the cheek, one that definitely caught him off guard. "So is it canon?" Pico smirked. "Nah, just thanking you for being my cute little co-author." "Oh," Pico started, "so we're flirtin' now, huh. Come here babe!" He tackled you onto the ground, giving you several kisses in exchange.

"Actually, I think we call that 'making out'," you chuckle out, flustered. "But that doesn't mean I said stop'!" You pull him in for more, accidentally bonking your heads together rather painfully. "Nice double kill there, (Y/N)."

[ir0n-angel]

Fic Author Self Rec

Tagged by @crackinglamb. Thanks, love. *bonk* 😘

Tagging @madangel19 @steamcaptain @st0nergh0ul @fiadhaisteach (chapters count too) @lilbittymonster @ranaspkillnarieth and anyone else who’d like to play. No pressure!

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to put pen to paper since pre-pandemic 2019. Too many forks, not enough spoons in addition to other irl problems. Still, I’m pretty proud of my own works.

In no particular order:

Spring Fever (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Edward Deegan, rated E, 5008 words) Part 3 in a currently 8-part series, and probably the most rambunctiously smutty of the entire set despite all of them being rated E. I fell down this rarepair rabbit hole by accident because I was physically incapable of moving around much during one of the worst heatwaves the Bay Area had seen to date; 115-119 degree daily temps. It grew into me becoming over 33% of the pairing, and I still have the most fics of it in the archive. Why is it my favorite? Emotional slow burn, and this was where my two knuckleheads were starting to realize that their FWB was becoming something More(tm). Plus, it was just plain fun to write.

A Way with Machines (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Nick Valentine, rated E, 3983 words) The first smut I’d ever written and, of course, it had to be with the synth. I wanted to write a story that was as realistic as one could possibly get romancing a robot. To date, it’s my most popular fic written. Side note: It’s also the first of a currently 3-part series, though all can be read as stand-alones. Why is it my favorite? I have a type and Nick hits the wickets. In addition to the realism, I also made a very clear and pointed effort to include consent for male partners, which I feel like doesn’t get enough ‘screen-time’ in... well, any medium.

Thank You, Monsieur DuPont (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Nick Valentine, rated E, 2602 words) Second in the 3-part Valentine series. I almost put my FO3 Gob/Lone Wanderer fic here, but decided I like TYMP better. So I tried to get into the Kinktober challenge, but -- throwing some salt here -- realized that a lot of people really don’t know the difference between kink and abuse. So while TYMP has kink (real kink), it’s no longer categorized or tagged for the -tober. Why is it my favorite? Aforementioned love of Nick. I had a blast writing probably the most straight-laced character in FO4 as being a sweetly kinky fella. It happens to be my bestie’s favorite, too, which gives me all kinds of good fuzzy feelings.

Time Cures All and Adjustment Period (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Vault-Tec Representative, rated E, 3295 and 2679 words respectively) Cheating a little bit here, because these two really should be read together. Another rarepair I’m the majority writer for. Why is it my favorite? The VTR, who I renamed Charlie, was one of the most interesting side character stories for me. I’m super proud of how I managed to seamlessly integrate it into my own writing. And it’s equal parts fluff and hot smut.

Be Near Me (Fallout 4, F!SoSu/Hancock, rated E, 15612 words) I feel like I should warn folks by admitting that I’m not really a romanced-Hancock fan. To me, he is the ultimate best friend character. That being said... Why is it my favorite? First, but least: It was a personal challenge that I passed with such flying colors, even I’m impressed. And I never impress myself. I set out to write a fic with as many “and then they fucked” tropes as possible, but never have them actually sleep together until the very end. By my count, there’s 77 different tropes in this relatively short fic. Second, and most important: This is the fic that brought me and my best friend together. Now, 5+ years later, we’re found-family. And I’ll always donate to the AO3 fundraiser when I can because it changed my life.

Honorable Mention:  

Chapter 4 of Her Lonely Road, Walked Alone (Fallout 4, F!SoSu & Hancock, F!SoSu/MacCready, rated M, 7973 words) Oh boy, where to start with this one? HLRWA is part 2 of a 2-part series that must be read in order to understand. I have to point that out because I’ve had so many people read the second part and complain in the comments that they didn’t understand what was happening. Yeah, I’m still a little salty over it. It’s clearly marked! It’s right in the summary! Y’all! Anyway... Why is it my favorite? Given the chance, I think I would rewrite the whole series -- it was my return to writing fic after 11 year writer’s block -- but I would keep this chapter. One of my favorite characterizations of Hancock I’ve ever written. Best Friend Hancock forever!

[tinyjeanmarco]

Your display name literally defines my week mood, Porco is the best boy🥺 i was wondering if you could write some hc about him?? I didn’t have any specific in mind, maybe something cute but ofc it’s up to you and you can even not write anything, that’s alright too!! Im just happy seeing more people warming up to him☺️ i hope you have a great February and that you stay safe and happy💖

eee! porco really is best boy, i love him to pieces. and of course i’ll write some hc’s about him (*°ヮ° *) these will be super soft, i promise. and thank you! my february has been going well so far, so i wish the same upon you! this is also my first request i’m doing, so i’m really excited. i hope you enjoy!  ♡

summary: some hc’s about domestic life with porco. canon divergence because in this he’s not a warrior, that way reader doesn’t have to worry about having a time limit w/ him or worry about anything happening to him (∩_∩). (i think this ended up like some sort of canon-ish au with some modern setting mixed in, whoops!)

porco x gn!reader

warnings: none

you’ve known porco since you two were kids. you essentially grew up together and you had always had a tiny crush on him growing up.

it wasn’t until you guys were teens that he confessed to liking you as well. this totally took you by surprise, but in a good way!

a few days after he confessed to you, he told you that he did so because he knew reiner also liked you, and he was afraid that reiner would admit his feelings for you and that you’d date him instead.

he didn’t want to become the pathetic childhood friend who was too afraid to say something and then be doomed to watch you be in love with someone else for the rest of his life.

when he told you this, you found it quite funny (and also felt bad for reiner since porco just outted him and now he would never get a chance cuz you’re dating porco), since you had always liked porco, not reiner, so he wouldn’t have had to worry, anyways.

you two had been together for years, not really having many issues. that isn’t to say you would never fight or disagree, but you two always made an effort to resolve any tensions that arose.

porco seems to me the type who holds grudges and doesn’t really care to talk things out, but he knows that if he does that with you, he will most likely end up losing you.

whenever you get into a disagreement/fight with him, he needs space and time alone before he can come back and confront the situation. if you try to make him talk right away, he will lose his cool and say something he doesn’t mean.

you sort of learned this the hard way with him when you started dating. he’s long since made up for those times, but in the back of his head, he still feels bad about them (although he would never tell you this).

after dating for like six years, porco finally decided to wife you up and make you his officially.

he would definitely want it to be really special for you because he absolutely adores you and wants to make it something that you’ll remember forever.

he would have a whole plan put together. he has the ring, he just needs to take you out, have a nice night, eating really well, and then as you two gaze up at the stars on the roof of the building you live in, he would whip out the ring and propose. bam! foolproof.

probably not as foolproof as he hoped because he actually ended up accidentally proposing to you while you guys were just cuddling one night.

you would be all cuddled up to him, both of you almost asleep, and he mumbles out, not thinking, “marry me.”

and you’re instantly awake at that, turning your head to glance at him, and just say yes.

boy do his eyes shoot wide open. he’s stumbling over words, trying to correct himself before you just kiss him to get him to shut the hell up.

he tells you that he had a whole plan to make it special for you and spend the whole day together before popping the question.

you respond, saying that he can still do that, you’ll just pretend you never heard anything, but any way that it happened was special enough to you because you love him with your whole heart and you just want to be with him.

he bonks you on your nose and just calls you cheesy, but his heart is beating fast with the pure love he holds for you.

you both end up going through with his plans and having a wonderful day, him proposing again at the end of it all.

okay, so, porco loves kissing you. his favorite activity. you want a smooch? you don’t even have to ask, he’s one step ahead of you.

he is a clingy baby that wants to always have you near him. he will constantly have his hand on you, whether it’s in your hand, on your thigh, around your waist.

he loves kissing the top of your head. if you are shorter than him, it’s a win and easy peasy. if you’re taller than him, he will make you bend down so he can still kiss the top of your head.

he also will love kisses on the top of his head if you’re taller than him, or if you two are cuddling and he has his head laid on your chest.

he also loves it when he’s just showered, and his hair isn’t slicked back, if you play with his hair, running your fingers through the soft blond locks. it really relaxes him and helps him fall asleep.

this clingy boy also loves to cuddle with you.

he will look for any opportunity to wiggle into your arms and tangle his limbs in yours.

he loves to be both the big spoon and little spoon, all depending on his mood. sometimes he just enjoys the comfort of being held close to you, and other times he wants to hold you in his arms to remind him that you’re really there with him.

he will have an iron grip on you, refusing to let you go ever.

“porco, please, i have to pee.”

“noooo. stay here, pee later.”

“porco, i will pee on you.”

i also totally hc porco to love cooking or baking. he definitely loves to eat and it’s more fun when he gets to eat it with you. better yet, cooking with you.

when you’re making cookies or something, you’ll have to yell at him to stop eating the raw batter. it’s not good for you. (if you’re vegan, you wont really have that exact issue, but him still eating it means there will be less output, so stop eating it, porco!)

he first started cooking when you guys moved in together which means he was pretty bad at it. you kind of had to help him and were brutally honest if he burnt something or did something wrong.

i don’t think he would really be a disaster in the kitchen because he would always follow the recipes down to a T.

i mentioned above you two moving in together. let me tell you, that was one chaotic day. so many boxes, so few hands. you legit spent all day moving things in.

porco would constantly be like “ow, ow, babe, i hurt myself!” to make you fret over him and then when you ask him what’s wrong he’ll say something along the lines of “i hurt my hand carrying this box. can you kiss it better?” or he would straight up be like “my heart hurts because you’re not kissing me right now.”

cue rolling your eyes and giving this dumb baby a kiss nearly every fifteen minutes.

you end move in day with all the boxes piled up around your apartment, and you two fall asleep on just a plain mattress with a few pillows, too tired to unpack anything else. maybe a blanket too so that way you guys don’t get too cold.

i’m hopping around a lot for these hc’s, but the wedding you two have is a nice small one with just your closest friends and family.

he doesn’t even care (that much) when you invite reiner, he’s just excited to marry you and be yours.

seeing you all dressed up for the wedding makes his heart leap into his throat, and he just starts crying. he never thought this day would come and that he would be lucky enough to spend his forever with you.

after you two say your vows and the officiator says you may kiss, he leaps to you and gives you the slowest, most gentle kiss ever. he pours his soul out into the kiss, making sure you know this is the happiest day of his life.

the whole part at the after party where you feed each other cake? he’s the one to smash it all over your face. yep. he’s that kind of husband.

calling him your husband is also your new favorite thing. it just makes it feel so real.  

“hey, can you get me a glass of water, husband?” and he melts because he loves hearing that come out of your mouth. it reminds him that you actually married him. (he still can’t believe that.)

porco will try his hardest to be the best husband ever and always make you happy. he just loves you to the moon and back and is never afraid to show it.

[generallybrontidefeelings]

News for you

A/N: OKAY, gave myself a break to write this lil thing because I needed some fluff from the angst pit I dug myself into. Written for @221bshrlocked #maggies17 writing challenge! Thank you for the prompt, madam, I had fun with this :) also any mistakes belong to me!

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader, Javier Peña x you

Summery: Javi and Steve recruit you, a humble photographer, for a hop, skip, and a jump of a mission. It goes sideways. 

Prompt: 66 “I’ve decided to write a how-to manual and you’re going to be the ‘what not to do’ example.”

Warnings: unbeta’d. T rating, a swear word? Tension, adrenaline! fluff, hiding in the trunk of a car? Protective DEA agents. A smooch! A very self-indulgent comfort fic

Words: ~3K ish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Javier-ommph.” His shoulders bonked your nose as he turned himself over and around in the trunk of the bronco, further squishing you between himself and Steve. “It’s been three hours. If no one shows up, I’m going to kill you!”

“Okay, honey, later,” he mumbled, looking past you out the rearview window. Low yellow light from the Bogotà street lamps hit his eyes and left the rest of his face in the shadows. His chest rose and fell as he scanned outside, past your head. Behind you, you hear Steve fiddling with his sidearm, clicking the cylinder into place. It’s the lowness, the calming choice of words that make the situation really click for you. 

You had stayed as still as you could on your side, sandwiched between the DEA agents’ shoulders. Imagining yourself cartoonishly small helped the awkwardness of having to choose between your ass bumping Steve’s hip, and your thigh lying against Javi’s. The three of you lie very still, listening. 

This wasn’t your job. Your job was to sit in the CIA designated office, walk files back and forth between offices, and develop crime scene photos. That was it. It was not as Javi had phrased it ‘doing us a huge favor’ by playing ‘date’ for the evening so he and Murphy could discreetly plant a camera in a hotel room across the way from some sicario’s hideaway. Without thinking too much about it, you tucked your nose against Javi’s shoulder and worked on compartmentalizing what was happening around you. He smelled like faded vetiver, the orange he’d eaten while waiting for Steve to install the tiny camera, and sweat drawn on by the humidity. He met your eyes, glowing sharp and dark under the lamplight, and you saw his apology in them. 

The back of the bronco opened you inhaled sharply and squeezed your eyes shut, yelping as Javi’s whole body lands on you, and preparing for noise.

“It’s clear, agents, you can come out.”

The image Carillo found when he opened the trunk would have been comical. The gringos bodies squished impossibly in the trunk of the Bronco; Murphy and his dumbass long legs curled upward like a dried-out harvestman blinking in the flashlight glare, and behind him, Peña practically lying on top of a you - a woman he vaguely recognized from the embassy if he squinted. And it didn’t look like the way Peña normally lied over women. Your face heated up under the warm flashlights and your own welling relief. 

When the car door started rattling, Javier had tried to crawl over you and push you behind him, or under him, somewhere not as vulnerable. But in the cramped quarters, he’d only gotten as far as moving his back completely on top of you so you were the big spoon - a big spoon who was near suffocating and panicking. His ass fell heavily into your hip bone, sending a shooting pain down your leg. All you could see was Javi’s shoulder, and the blinding flashlights of the Search Bloc men. 

“Did you get the camera installed?” Carillo asks, as you try to stay still under Javi’s deadweight.

“Yeah, it’s in.” His voice reverberates through you, and you want to smack him for dragging you into this situation. 

“You better get up, Peña, or you’ll suffocate that poor woman.” Your eyes popped open, and you gave in, smacking Javi on the shoulder until he moved. You hissed when you tried to sit up, your hip burning and calve cramping at the same time. The flashlights died, and you were back to sitting in the orange hued shadows inside the Bronco trunk. 

“All right, lady?” Steve asked, hanging his legs off the trunk of the car. Men with rifles stalk around the vehicle, one reporting to Carillo, another two keeping sharp eyes out. It’s quiet for the amount of bodies milling around.  

“Yeah-ow. I’ll be okay.” Javi was moving quietly, looking apologetic, glancing between your sore hip and your face. 

“You’re heavy, Peña,” you say, more to let him know you’re all right, all right enough to give him shit. His lips quirked up a little, and he let his body stretch out, leaning on the trunk ledge. You gently massaged the area that hurt while Javi and Carillo talked together, only catching a few words here and there. It feels like forever later, you sandwiched again sitting on the edge of the trunk between Steve and Javi, swinging your sneakers in little arcs, trying to control your facial expressions. You see Carillo jerk his chin at you, and Javi looks you over before answering. In an unexpected display, Carillo smacks Javi on the shoulder as well, saying what you guess is an expletive before turning and gathering his men. 

“Okay, here’s where we are.” Javi leans on the trunk bed again and bumps your shoulder with his. “The camera is on and transmitting, which is good. Bad news is the sicarios are on alert. Search Bloc wants to escort us home while they keep up the hunt.” 

“Do you own a gun?” Murphy’s question breaks your staring. 

“No, not yet. I meant to…” you trail off as he shakes his head. You know it’s stupid of you not to have any protection. This is Colombia, and you’re a single woman on American government paycheck. You finish lamely, holding your elbows: “I meant to get one.” 

“If they saw her they might be looking for her. Have her stay with you for the night.” 

Javi’s eyebrows raise imperceptibly. You want to say ‘no thank you’ and ‘let’s do it’ all at once. He got you into this mess anyway. 

“Sure, that’s fine.” You let out the breath you’re holding, actually relieved. You didn’t want to go home to your lonely, dark apartment after this. Not for a little while. 

Search Bloc escorts the three of you back to the apartment complex, and you’re ushered inside the building one group at a time. 

“Play nice,” Steve mumbles as he steps out of the bronco for his turn into the building. You watch him saunter in under the harsh lamplight. 

The driver calls back some directions, then takes off driving. You turn to Javi in the backseat, distress written across your face. 

“He says we’re going around the block a couple times then they’ll take us in. Relax,” he suggests, and without preamble, slips his hand around your folded ones in your lap. 

It’s a tense ride. Every corner you close your eyes and take a slow controlled breath. And every time Javi’s hand squeezes yours, the other wrapped around the grip of his sidearm. When the Search Bloc boys bring you back to the complex your sneakers scrape against the pavement up the stairs, then against the hardwood until Javi’s door clicks shut behind you. Then, only then, do you give in to your body's demand to breathe deeply. 

You gather your surroundings - it’s a cushy place, raised kitchen leading back to a bedroom and recessed living area. It would be homey if not for the messes on every surface; mostly cigarette packages, cassette tapes, half-empty glasses. The domesticity distracts you from the reality outside, of tire treads rushing through water run-off along the road. Headlights sweep across the edges of the ceiling to illuminate and fracture the room. It’s exactly what you expect for Javier Peña.

“Is your hip all right?” Javi is lighting a cigarette, but watching you intently. You lift your left leg a bit and shake it. Only a lingering ache remains. 

“It’s fine. A bath will help it,” you say. He nods and puffs out the smoke. You don’t know what to do, so you reach behind you and hook your fingers into the waistline of your skirt and look anywhere but him. The swish follows you down to the couch where you sit, and absently fiddle with the fabric. 

“I know that was more than I asked of you, and I appreciate it.” He pushes his stacks of magazines back into tissues and a crystal ashtray so he can sit on the coffee table. “You did well under pressure.” 

“I belong in a lab, Peña,” you say, leaning your chin on your knuckles. “I’m glad I could help, but don’t ask me to do that again. Ever.” 

“Cross my heart.” 

You smile at him. He’s stupidly handsome; he’d caught your eye the day you’d begun working in the embassy halls in the CIA rooms. You did your part, telling him ‘no’, and pulling confidential files out of his hands, and exchanging barbs daily. But that didn’t stop the tender flame of attraction that grew; you knew it wasn’t your place to harbour it, especially when the rumors of how he behaved with informants reached your ears. It didn’t matter, you decided. It didn’t dissuade you, so you let that little flame smolder freely, content to do your work and content to treat him as Agent Peña. Now in his living room, in the fluorescent kitchen lamplight, you wish all that would go away so you could sleep on his couch in peace. 

He didn’t help, calling you ‘honey’ and leaning on your desk to sweetly ask for specific rolls to be developed before others. He didn’t help at all, jamming his foot in the dark room door before you locked it, asking in his softest voice if he could get a look at them before anyone else did. And he helped the least when in his enthusiasm at whatever break he found in the photos, he’d draw you in by your shirt sleeve and press a grateful kiss to your temple before scribbling down whatever connection he had made. You were always grateful for the red lights hiding the heat that rose under your skin. 

“Do you have any spare blankets?” 

He looks around, like it’s the first time anyone’s asked him. “No, I don’t.” 

“Not even a throw?” Exhaustion leaks into your tone. It’s nearly midnight, and you just want to sleep. Javi stands and shrugs his jacket off. He extends his hand and you take it, letting him lead you down the hall to his bedroom. It’s neat, smells faintly of his cologne and smoke and soap. Before you knew it, he was pushing a big t-shirt into your hands and sitting himself on the bed’s edge to undress. You took the opposite edge, gingerly taking your sneakers off and groaning at the relief of being able to wiggle your toes. 

You decide modesty is for people who don’t identify drug cartel hired guns for a grocery money, and slide into Javi’s bedsheets in your underwear and his borrowed t-shirt. The light in the room clicks off, and you listen to Javi rustle around getting comfortable with your eyes closed. His hand lands on your thigh over the blankets. 

“You’re okay,” he says low, and you respond by resting your hand on top of his wrist as you drift into sleep.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How you got here

“It would just be for a couple hours,” Javi had said, standing over your desk with Steve and your supervisor. Murphy did his part playing skeptic, arms crossed, and his striped tie on too tight. Your supervisor mirrored him, glaring at Peña for asking for such a favor. A big favor. Dark room specialists don’t grow on trees, and you had rolls of film to get processing today. 

“Why can’t one of your informants do this?” your supervisor asks. You raise your eyebrows at Javi. 

“Well, an informant you have to pay.” Murphy tilts his head to the side. Uncle Sam’s purse strings had been a little tight this quarter. “And she’s already on payroll.” 

“It’s up to you,” your super says, leaving you under the hopeful stares of Javi and Steve.

“Look,” Javi leans on your desk, getting low enough to make the conversation private, “you don’t have to do anything dangerous. All we need is to use the hotel room to set up a camera looking into an apartment across the street. You would give us a plausible reason to be entering the hotel, and could help us identify the guy if he shows up. So we’re shooting in the right direction.” 

You squint at Javi. He’s playing the biggest puppy-dog eyes you’ve ever seen. Crossing your arms on your desk, you lean forward so you’re even closer to his face, close enough to smell the last cigarette he had was at least an hour ago. “Do you need help setting up the equipment?” 

The twitch in his cheek tells you everything, just as Murphy answers “yes.” 

“Okay, I’ll bite, fellas.” 

“It will be in and out, honey. Shouldn’t be more than two hours.” His eyes are reassuring as you grab your handbag. 

The hotel clerk speaks with Javi as Murphy stands at your side with a hand lying stiffly on your waist, an appropriate distance from anything intimate, and just firm enough to give the impression of a pleasant couple. 

He gets a key, and the three of you reach the room without a hitch. You help Murphy get the little camera up and transmitting. Javi keeps an eye by the window, looking out the translucent curtains. 

“Bad news. Fuck,” Javi murmurs, and it makes your blood go cold. Murphy stops packing up the bag your equipment had come in and kicks it under the room bed. “We gotta get to the car.” Murphy reaches for the phone, dialing. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask anyone. It’s too vague, you can’t tell what the private language of partners is communicating to one another. 

Javi left the window, signaling to Steve to hurry up with his phone call. “Someone ratted on us, we need to get moving.”  

“I thought you said this wouldn’t be dangerous,” you hiss at him. You see him huff in frustration, and immediately feel bad. “Javi…”

He smooths his hand under your elbow. “Honey, I’m sorry.” 

The three of you make a graceless exit out the back service stairs into the Bogotà twilight, street lamps already on painting things in hazy greens to the humming of cicadas. Your sneakers whisper on the pavement, one hand gripping the back of Javi’s jacket; you feel silly doing it, but you don’t want to lose him, even if he’s inches in front of you. Steps away from the car, your heart is beating loud enough you barely heard the agents agree on where to lay low.  

“Trunk?” Murphy whispered. He had one hand hovering on the center of your back, the other on his revolver. 

Javi flicked his head to his partner, nodding. “Trunk.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where you ended up

You woke up because something radiating heat was just downright uncomfortable in the already unbearable Colombian humidity. You wiggled into cooler sheets, only it followed you. 

You realized it was because it was an arm, thrown over your middle. As carefully as you could, you looked over your shoulder to the owner of the arm. 

Light trailed in through the gauzy blue curtains, backlighting Javi’s features and bare chest, laying shadows across his slack face. Uninterrupted by his chatting and clothing, you let yourself take him in; a soft chest inflating rhythmically, and a broad shoulder that collapsed on itself, either from weight, or it’s reach for your own body. You turned back over and nuzzled into the pillow, happy you’d led him lead you to his bed to sleep next to him. You couldn’t imagine being able to sleep soundly without someone there after hiding for your life for hours. A shudder runs through you at the thought, triggering Javi’s breathing to hitch and he draws you closer. 

“Javi,” you murmur in warning. He’s really too warm. He groans back at you, palming your hip but not removing his arm, and you push a little into his hand. “Is there a manual for making quick exits?”

“You gonna run away, baby?” You preen a little under the name, and compensate by pressing your heating cheek into the pillow. 

“No,” you say, letting your eyes fall closed and just enjoying the feel of his thumb brushing over the back of your hip bone through his old shirt. “But I’ve decided to write a how-to manual and you’re going to be the ‘what not to do’ example.”

He shuffles closer to you so you’re leg to leg. “Yeah? For what?” 

You send your top leg out so he can rest his bare thigh between yours. You start in a sing-song voice: “‘What not to do for an effective escape: don’t bring an extra person with you when your means of escape is a car trunk that only fits two bodies, not three.”

“You fit just fine,” he says, and you shiver at his nose bumping your clothed shoulder. 

“I was squished.” 

He snorts. “I got news for you: you lived. Even if you got squished. That’s what I call effective.” You hum when you feel him lift over you and press a kiss to your temple, then your cheek. Turning your head you graze his lips with yours while finding his eyes. They’re still sleepy, not quite open all the way. You don’t even have to lift your head to press your mouth to his warm pliant one, and he returns it gently; it’s different from the excited affectionate ones he plants on your head in the darkroom. You just want to let him know you are alive, and grateful. It’s fleeting, and you know in a week or so it will crack your heart a little more.He breaks it first, pressing a second, then a third into your lips, telling you he understands. 

He lies back behind you, pulling your frame against him, into his warm chest. “Go back to sleep, honey.” 

You pull the sheet around your chin and enjoy the sensation of being held by Javi, if only for a couple more hours. 

Tomorrow you’ll be back at the embassy, explaining your role in a DEA operation turned Colombian military operation to your superior, and you’ll be thinking about how Agent Peña is a much better big spoon than you are. 

[shorkbrian]

QUESTION!! Do you think kirishima, and bakugou (separate pwease) love there darling for there personality or are just doing it for there body? I feel like kirishima would love them lowkey for personality only but gets worked up and excited when he sees there body bc he knows only he gets his love like that. Bakugou? I’m iffy with him on that. Thank u wuv!

 Well, they both have similar idk... ideals? hmmm but lowkey hmmm idk how else to describe so

Bakugou would first notice his darling because of their personality. They might be rough and ready-to-rumble, always willing to fight and not hesitating to throw the first punch. Maybe they’re loud and brash and snappy, just like him. Whatever he dishes out, they can take it, throw it right back in his face. It’d probably shock him the first time, make him do a double take. From then on his attention would be constantly drawn to them, always trying to rile them up or doing aggressive shit that they would call him out for - during training he likes to grapple and wrestle, he knows they can take it.

But maybe.... his darling is shy? sweet, gentle. Like Midoriya, but something is different. He’d probably be marching over, on his way to bully Midoriya when he spots them - so nervous and gentle and kind and pretty. He’ll feel that sadistic urge bubble up inside him; he wants to see them cowering from him, covered in tears and snot and doing whatever he tells them to do. Bakugou would never admit that the softer, calmer side of himself grew to care for them, wanted to hold and cuddle and provide.

I don’t think Bakugou would be someone who gets easily distracted by physical features - sure, a lot of people have nice bodies, but Bakugou doesn’t care. He only starts to notice the appeal of the human body after meeting his darling.

It won’t matter what they look like. But since Katsuki is such a big health nut he will constantly be judging and checking and snooping to how his darling is taking care of themselves. Not eating enough? They’ll get bonked in the back of the head with a granola bar. Stress eating? Bakugou will come throw whatever his darling is eating into the trash, ripping it out of their hands and grumbling about how bad chips are. (God he would be sooooo annoying I would just wanna wring his little neck)

Pray that he never squirrels you away, keeping you on a strict, healthy diet (not too little, but not too much either) He’d be super into forcing you to workout with him, for the sake of good health. Truthfully he just wants to see you in tight workout gear.

He might even try to rip it off later.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kirishima would notice his darling first and foremost because of their cute little body. He sees them walk into class and immediately gets smitten, asking his classmates who the new kid is and what their name is and if anyone knew them could Kiri please get their number? Kaminari and Sero’s horny chatter about “fuckable celebrities” makes the redhead very in-tune with what he finds attractive. And honestly? He loves it all. Tall, short, thin, round? Yes to everything.

BUT when he saunters over at lunch and slides his tray next to theirs, he finds out how charming they are, and he is absolutely enthralled. Kiri could sit and listen to them talk for hours on end - he thinks that they would probably be able to make algebra seem pleasant just by talking about it. The dude wants to just sit and bask in their presence for as long as he can, likes the subtle whiffs of their scent, finds the flash of their teeth as they smile to be so adorable!

He notices that his darling doesn’t seem to be super aware of the effect their body has on everyone, specifically him. They’ll lean across their desk as they chat with a friend, school uniform stretching perfectly over their butt. Maybe they have a tendency to always be falling asleep, unaware of the eyes oogling their form. Kiri always is blessed enough to catch them stretching, legs spread wide or twisted in some complicated position. It drives him absolutely wild with desire.

To put it simply, Kiri is head-over-heels with every single aspect of their being. He doesn’t deny his massive crush (obsession), and it’s almost common knowledge that if he could, Kirishima would absolutely fuck the shit out of his darling. He gets teased more about the fact that he would be an absolute pushover for them afterwards. The redhead would carry them afterwards, kiss their forehead, make them hot soothing drinks and cuddle them to death as they talked about everything and nothing.

If only his darling wasn’t so oblivious, maybe his dream could become a reality. 

Oh well, it’s not like there weren’t other ways for him to get what he wants.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In short, there are sooooo many ways to write them. I think a villain Bakugou would actually be really mean and into degrading and humiliating his darling about their body, shaming them for things he actually is quite fond of.

Villain Kiri would get absolutely enamored by his darling, but for some reason they dress in the ugliest, most horrible clothing ever? And they’re always bundled up and they look so lumpy and weird but ah, he doesn’t care. They were nice to him that one time (genuinely nice) and so he’s kidnapping them. When Villain Kiri gets them home an d cuts those ugly clothes to pieces, he finds himself the most delicious treat underneath. Proceeds to punish his darling for trying to hide themselves away like that, but also can’t help but go easy and be soft because he’s the only one who’s ever seen them without all those layers.

AHHHHH see there are just so!! many!! possibilities!!

I am stopping myself now, fingers? no typey.

thenk

[incoherentbabblings]

Kinda sucks how they broke up Tim and Steph but at least it seems like Tim may be canonically queer?

Gonna preface this by saying yes absolutely I one hundred percent agree with this ask.

But I am also going a bit insane right now so excuse the following:

I want bi Tim so bad but I am also kind of going AAAAAAHHHH did you have to break them up to do that? Not the female character being tossed aside when she's served her purpose of helping the male character 'discover' something about himself. DC WOULD NEVER

I'm miffed that it occured off screen. I think their relationship deserves more care than that. I think Steph deserves a voice when the relationship ends. Maybe we'll see more over the summer what happened.

But queer Tim is something I would like to see.

Also Dick. Enough about Tim where's Dick's turn come on DC don't tell me you'll only confirm one of the boys when Dick Grayson is right there you do it do it do it.

On a purely selfish note - I have written a lot (understatement) on TimSteph over the years. If Tim is gay (which will be a good thing in my eyes) I will still feel a bit like... idk. Hollow. Seven years of shipping. Talk about missing the mark huh? MY LIFE IS A LIE

DC have to get this right.

I have nothing coherent to say (see blog title) essentially. Yay queer Tim but no wait come back with ma TimSteph. I am (selfishly) hoping for bi, but if he is gay... he went for another blond? Tim likes blondes is the real takeaway here -

If Tim's bi, I'll continue to write for them. AUs and all that. If he's confirmed to be gay, I'm afraid that'll be it from me for those two. I'll finish my current story and let that be that. I was joking with @thatblondeperson that it was because I literally finally managed to write a bonking scene for the pair in my fic (not too explicit but you know. It's actually important to the story) and God turned around and said nay there will be no bumping of uglies and I was like argh fuck. But me and Sofie had like two or three fics were gonna write together like a what if Steph stayed with Dean and kept her baby girl fic and it was gonna be depressing and soft and romantic af and I WAS GONNA WRITE THAT MERMAID FIC AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Currently going through the five stages of grief like totally normal and healthy people do. This is so embarassing but I just keep laughing at myself like bloody hell Abigail you're an adult let it go.

Essentially: Kinda sucks how they broke up Tim and Steph but at least it seems like Tim may be canonically queer is exactly the right response.

[euphoricsunflowers]

the lovers’ christmas presents

a/n: these will be some of little drabbles for some moots of mine. i’m not super religious, but my mom is catholic so i do celebrate christmas to some extent. if you don’t, then just feel free to enjoy a random little gift for you, and if you do, merry christmas!! i’m so sorry if i wasn’t able to write one for you! i could only do so many 😔😔, but i promise i still love each and every one of my moots, anons, and followers!!

even if the year has been awful, kpop and writing have been really good escapes for my poor mental health. you have all been such a major factor in my mental well-being, so i wish you all happy holidays and a happy new year!

@sub-hoshi-enthusiast — kwon soon-young/hoshi

content: sub!hoshi, dom!fem!reader, title: mommy, he wears a skirt, pegging

“m-mommy,” he stutters, your fingers dig into his shoulders as you thrust into him, “aah!! mommy, please!”

“what is it, baby? you want mommy to go faster?” you say and he nods desperately, so just to tease him, you slow down, making each thrust as deep and intense as possible, “you know, you look really, really pretty right now.”

“mommy~!” he cries out in a whine, but it only makes you smirk.

“what? i just think the pretty skirt is suitable for my favorite pretty boy,” you hands move lower, gripping his waist as you pick up speed again, “now, as much as i love seeing your pretty face, how about i flip you over and spank you till your ass is red?”

he groans, but nods, letting you move him around however you wish, “there we are, now, i hope you don’t have much planned for the next week or so, i doubt you’ll be able to sit right for at least that long.”

@vanillaknj — kim namjoon/rm

content: sub!namjoon, dom!gn!reader, toys, boys in maid outfits :)), mentions of a safeword

“you know, maybe if you were good today we wouldn’t be here,” you muse as he trembles from his second orgasm, crying already, “what happened to my good boy, joonie?”

“i-i’m sorry, please don’t make me cum again,” he begs, but you shake your head.

“either use your safeword or i’m making you cum again and again and again until i’m satisfied,” you spit harshly, “now you’re going to get back to cleaning the house like the good maid you are, and if the vibrator turns on randomly while you’re cleaning, you better hope you can still do your chores. make sure to clean up any cum you get on the floor.”

and of course a few minutes later, just as he goes to start doing the dishes, you turn it on, and he’s visibly shaken, the close feeling already coming back quickly, and his legs give out as he falls to his knees, cumming with a loud groans, followed by some whimpers. it’s so fun to watch him be so miserable.

@nct99 — im changkyun/i.m

content: sub!changkyun, dom!gn!reader, kissing, biting, dirty talk

“come here, baby boy,” you mumble, and he plops down beside you, watching you desperately and hungrily, “is there something you want, kyun?”

“kiss me?” his hands hold onto your shoulders for stability as you lean in to kiss him, pushing him down against the bed and kissing feverishly. your hands hold him securely, and he feels safe and small under you, like nothing could hurt him. you kiss down his jaw, around his neck, on his collarbone, all over his chest until he finally seems to get restless, “please, i need more.”

“shhh, darling, let me take my time with you,” you whisper, biting down against his neck. he hisses in pain but still tilts his head so you have better access to his neck, looking up towards the ceiling as you move lower and lower, “look at me, dear,” he looks down at you, “do you want this?”

“yes, yes, please, make me yours, i want to be all yours,”

you smile, pressing a kiss to the inside of his thigh and his body shivers in your hold, “you already are, baby, you’ve always been mine.”

@bigkpopstan — kevin moon

content: sub!kevin, dom!reader, neck kisses, biting, basically the build up to car sex

“hey, sweetie, let me take care of you,” you whisper in his ear, pressing kisses to his neck and playing with his hair, trying to relax him slightly, “relax, baby, i got you.”

“o-okay,” despite the limited space of the backseat of the car and the many, many times your head has bonked against the roof of the car, you had managed to both get enough out of your clothes to take care of his problem. that doesn’t mean that you’ll satisfy him right away, though, obviously not.

your hands grip his waist tightly as you make your first bite against his skin. you try to not be too harsh, yet he still whines at the pain, “shh, it’s okay, darling, i’m not gonna hurt you too much. just wanna make sure everyone knows you’re mine.”

“i-i am yours,” he mutters breathlessly.

you chuckle, “i know, but i gotta make sure they do too.”

@mellowriting — kim hongjoong

content: sub!hongjoong, dom!gn!reader, handjob, mentions of exhibitionism

“look at you, already so ruined, we’ve only just begun, joong,” you smile, but there’s a cruelness to your words, and he almost wants to glare at you for being so mean, but he decides against that.

“a-ah! oh my—” he moans, getting closer and closer. he looks so ethereal when he’s all quiet and pleasure-filled, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“what if someone walked in here, joong? say… seonghwa? or yunho? would you let one of your friends watch their strong leader so pathetically fall to pieces with a few touches?” he whimpers at your words, shaking his head ‘no’, “are you sure? i thought you like proving yourself to them, showing off just how good you are for me, but alright, i suppose i’ll keep you all for myself.”

@lovingonrepeat — nakamoto yuta

content: sub!yuta, dom!gn!reader, hair pulling, begging, title: miss (i wanna say it’s fem because of this but think of this what you will)

your fingers card through yuta’s hair, keeping him alert for any sudden motion or tug from you. he sits on edge (not in the way you think) for minutes that feel like hours. you watch your show as you play with his hair, accidentally pulling slightly sometimes but apologizing immediately.

he knows you’re teasing him, putting him through this just to mess with him, and you’ve got him: he’s desperate.

“please pull harder,” he mumbles, and even though you hear him perfectly, you still make him repeat himself, “pull harder, please, miss.”

“you know that’s not good enough, try harder,” you smirk at him.

“please! please, i want you to hurt me, show me how much i’m yours, make me scream out your name—” he’s cut off when he cries out in pain, your hand tugging hard against his scalp.

“yeah, that’s more like it.”

@foenixs — lee minhyuk

content: sub!minhyuk, dom!gn!reader, mirrors, degradation, calling him puppy but it’s not really pet play, title: master

“p-please,” he murmurs, reaching out to hold onto you for some kind of stability. his eyes intently watch the mirror, especially watching the way your hand works him and brings him to heaven.

“please what, stupid puppy? finish your sentences,” you kiss his temple, then moving to kiss his neck and shoulder as his grip on your arm tightens, “i can’t give you what you want unless you tell me what that is.”

“i-i need it,” he gulps, “i need to cum,” shutting his eyes tightly as the pressure builds, but you grip his jaw, holding tightly as your words scare and excite him.

“you’re going to watch yourself cum, got it? i want you to keep your eyes on your pretty expressions as you fall apart just for me, give up all control to your master, got it?” he nods when you finish speaking, but he’s so close he can barely register what you actually said, “then cum.”

@feelslikelove — johnny suh

content: fluff, i’m sorry i just wanted to write something sweet to finish this off and this is really cute i’m so 🥺🥺

“baby,” he mumbles tiredly, his cheek pressed against your shoulder, “don’t get up, baby, stay with me.”

you laugh at his antics, and you can faintly see his smile as he feels you mold yourself more against him. it’s like your bodies were made for each other, “i need to go, darling.”

“but here’s the thing,” he reaches his hand up to your face just to touch your nose, making you giggle even more, “you really don’t.”

“stay with me,” he sings softly, to some melody you're ninety percent sure he made up on the spot, “let’s just stay here, in bed, forever.”

“we can’t do that, johnny,” you sigh, but you can feel yourself giving in, “i have to go to work.”

he shakes his head, “says who?”

[karliesbuzzcut]

So I don’t know how you guys feel about the ‘Realistic Kaylor Timeline’ that’s been doing the rounds on this corner of the internet. I’m guessing some of you might feel conflicted, others might strongly disagree with some parts of it - but do not worry. I’m here to tell you how to feel about it: you love it. Because it’s mandatory to love anything that can get such a feral reaction out of TTB.

Today I’m bringing you

Top 7 Moments from TTB vs. Swiftiesleuth 2020

Fair wairning: I’m going to be very biased - I’ve not made my adoration for @swiftiesleuth a secret at all.

1. TTB’s grand entrance. LLLLLET’S GET READY TO TUMBLRRRRR!

Her disjointed sentences already let you know she’s a bit shaken “FAKE NEWS! The author admits they do not have inside knowledge like I do! I have all the inside knowledge, they only have outside knowledge, which ew - it’s muddy outside, and there’s bugs.”

2. Married people don’t ‘bonk’ - they make respectful and dignified love to each other. Preferably from opposite sides of the room.

My favourite was definitely when she said “if you’re a queer woman then you should really think about how you talk”. I vote for unpacking this one.

That ‘if’ - because of course, TTB has to perform a background check on you before she allows you to join The Gays.

That ‘should’. Please, TTB, complete that thought for us. Why is it that, as a queer woman, swiftiesleuth should do something in particular? You are not implying that she has to be especially careful about her words because she’s queer, right? I mean, you wouldn’t 😱 you’re a Social Justice Warrior after all.

TTB doesn’t like to be called “dude” either:

Which is why I suggest we all start calling her ‘Our Dude’. She will be our collective dude. And we can all be her little Dudes! It’ll be delightful, I’m telling ya.

3. In the year of our lord 2020, TTB decides it’s a good idea to pull the “I can’t be racist; my best friend is black” - but make it Jewish.

On this one I want to take a bit of a more serious tone, so I’ll limit myself to only one fart joke. I had no idea there were circumstances in which you couldn’t say you ‘converted’ to Judaism. I genuinely love that this seemingly silly passtime of mine actually teaches me new things. Now, I’m going to take a wild-ass guess and say TTB didn’t know that either... but more on this coming up.

Right now, let’s all rejoice at her choice of saying “I have facts” and right afterwards “Kaylor is likely already married”.

Kaylor, the sole entity, is married.

4. TTB tells herself “You know what? I haven’t been racist enough today”

At this point, TTB has become a cautionary tale about what happens to a person when they get married to an idea. It’s genuinely scary for me to think that my brain could trick me to such an extent that I could no longer process information that contradicts my beliefs. Just imagine it, there’s something about someone else’s religion that doesn’t make sense to you, and you decide to draw your conclusions from there. Okay, cool. Then someone from said religion explains that thing that didn’t make sense. And your reaction isn’t “oh, I maybe I should think about that, this person clearly knows more than me about this particular subject”. No. Your reaction instead is “I am entitled to my beliefs”

ISN’T THAT TERRIFYING!?

But more importantly... Isn’t that fucking racist? Wait... what? You are saying that isn’t racist enough? You think TTB should’ve also said that people don’t get to be offended by a word ‘only because it has been used as a slur in the past’? And then suggest to the person who asked her not to use that word - a person who is directly affected by that kind of bigotry - to get a dictionary? Nooo, come on, that’d be overkill. We are not trying to build a cartoon villain here!

5. Whaler and TTB are disappointed parents.

Truly emps, how dare you have a mind of your own. We raised you better than that!

I loooove that this day and age a fucking reblog means unconditional support to the author of the post... I’d watch that Black Mirror episode.

6. Both swiftiesleuth & TTB leave the chat with a motherfucking BANG.

I thought that I had hit comedy nirvana when Swiftiesleuth asked if her LGBTQ flavour bothered TTB and I thought no way in hell would TTB respond to that. BUT SHE DID. Aren’t you glad to be alive to witness that? “I have no knowledge of your flavour” she says. Well, TTB, I have no knowledge of Swiftiesleuth’s flavour either, but I’m working on fixing that *double winky face*

BUT TTB was like “talking about someone’s flavour isn’t hilarious enough, let’s leave this conversation with my best material”. And reminded us all of the percentage of black people she has working for her. I wonder if she decided to do the maths right after assembling her team or after she realised she could use it as an argument. Either way, super normal behaviour.

Also, also. I’d love to know what she considers a minority “well... Gerald has a pet snake... that should bring my minority percentage up by a couple points”

7. Special guests!

You wouldn’t be able to tell by how late to the party I was, but this was a big event here on Tumblr. Everybody was there... I’m told. Because I already feel like I’ve been working on this post for the past decade, I’ll keep it short and cute.

In one corner we have whaler and swift-79,

Obligatory bulletpoint list about all the things I loved about this post:

It wasn’t enought that TTB questioned swiftiesleuth’s queerness. Whaler said “fuck it - I’m questioning this bitch’s name as well” “Nat?” “you don’t look like a Nat” “but if you insist on identifying yourself as a Nat...” “I’ll put it in air quotes though”

I’m sorry... “If we are judging from pictures”? Isn’t that all that Kaylors do in 2020? No. No. I’m sorry. You guys also have emojis, sorry!

“Even Enty has questions about his sexuality” 😱 What? Enty? A blog dedicated to posting a constant stream of celebrity gossip once said that someone, somewhere, might be gay? No! 😱

I think swiftiesleuth was accused again of working for Scooter? Conspiracy Theorists are so adorably predictable, every time anyone disagrees with them (worse if that person seems to have done some research) somebody has to yell “they’re working for the enemy!”

Anyway, time for our final guest: the lovely @youlooklikebadnews , who I could’ve asked to write this whole post for me because they definitely did a better job than me at summarising the whole thing. But not only that, they were lucky enough to get a response from TTB.

...At this point I’m fairly certain that I’ll get invited to a Secret Session before TTB ever acknowledges my existence.

Doesn’t this read like what the villain says at the end of a shitty movie? Teasing a sequel and everything?

“You have not seen the last of TTB! I’ll be back with more proof and no copyright issues! KARLIE AND TAYLOR WILL RISE! Then you will see! YOU WILL ALL SEE!”

*flourishes cape and disappears into the night*