#and then i didn't do anything but make bad decisions and try to survive for like 6 or 7 years

[heli-writes]

A dragon's heart, part 12.

Pairing: Barbarian!Bakugou Katsuki x female!reader

Summary: The dragonblood tribe is known for being cruel, barbarian warriors that slaughter, loot and rape all places they pass through. They are feared among the villagers and even bigger cities. Having lost most of their women to a plague, they're trying to ensure their tribe's survival by kidnapping women from other places. However, they're not the only monsters in human form out there. When y/n experiences this first hand, she has no choice but to ask for help from no other but the barbarian leader Katsuki Bakugou himself.

Disclaimer: mentions of injuries, rape and abuse, mentions of breeding, marking, nsfw, smut, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex

[Please don't read if you are sensible to or triggered by the topics mentioned above.]

Minors do not interact.

Note: Took a while to finish this. I found the last part especially hard to write so I put it off for weeks. But voilá, it's finally here!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12

Series Masterlist

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Axiety. It's what curses Katsuki's veins right now. After he left his mother at the war tent, he went ahead and took a look at his injured men. Some of them might never mount a dragon again. That already made him restless. He feels like ever since he became chief, things have gone bad. They need a win soon. His men can't lose morale. It won't benefit the tribe and they'll also maybe get some bad ideas. His mother stepped down as a chief voluntarily, but Katsuki is sure that the rest of the tribe would have forced her if she didn't. It's easy to blame the leadership when things go wrong. Even if some things are out of the chief's control.

That's when y/n crosses his mind. He has forgotten about her ever since Kirishima walked into his tent. Maybe she can be his win, a way to boost morale among his men and a way to strengthen his position. If y/n was to carry a healthy, happy baby, Katsuki and her could lead an example for the rest of the tribe. To show them that there is a future. After today's events, he's sure that he's making the right decision taking y/n on as a mate. He fully trusts her to become a good partner, a good mother. He'll do everything in his might to ensure the tribe's and y/n's future. She won't ever have to go back to the men who hunted her like an animal.

His heart feels heavy and full when he makes his way back to his tent. He can't wait to pull y/n into his arms, to feel her soft warm frame pressed against him. It's what he needs right now. 

Surely, y/n must have returned by now. She was angry earlier but he hasn't experienced y/n to hold a grudge for too long. Also, it's gotten dark and cold. That must've driven her back home as well.

When he enters his tent, it lies in darkness and silence. He stares into the black of the tent, listening expectantly. Y/n's not here. His heart starts to pump harder, blood cursing faster through his veins than just a few minutes ago. He can hear an unsettling whooshing in his ears. 

Y/n's gone.

It takes a moment for the realization to sink in. Then, he turns around on his feet exiting his tent swiftly. In front of the entrance, he stops in his tracks. His first instinct is to find Kirishima. Get him to assemble a search party, get everybody moving to find her.

It's a bad idea. He and y/n have to lead as an example. How can he prove to his men that they can find a mate outside of the tribe that loves and accepts them if his own mate runs off in the middle of the night? No, the others can't find out. Especially his mother. He can already see the triumph in her eyes telling him 'I've told you so'. He must find her alone.

But where could she possibly have gone to? She doesn't know anybody or anything around here. A cold chill runs down his back. She wouldn't have tried to leave, would she? That would be incredibly stupid of her. She can't survive in these mountains. Especially not without appropriate gear. But that didn't stop her before. 

Katsuki thinks back to when y/n took off the day after getting injured by these men with bows and arrows. Back then, she also was stupid enough to think that she could wander off in the forest on her own. And now she was angry, furious even. With heavy emotions like that clouding her logical thinking, it wouldn't surprise Katsuki if she got the bright idea of running off. He can already picture her angry, pouting face in his mind. 

Shit. He needs to find her. 

First of all, Katsuki tries to search the settlement inconspicuously just to make sure he's not setting off a false alarm. He's glad that most of the tribe already settled into their tents for the night. While he wanders through the settlement, he's getting more anxious with each passing second. Scenarios of y/n getting torn apart by a pack of wolves, of y/n falling down a hillside and other deadly things fill his inner eye.

When he can't find her in the settlement, he decides he must scout out the area surrounding the tribe's village of tents. Considering she's on foot, she can't have made it very far. In this darkness, she must've laid to rest somewhere. Tonight's new moon, so it's especially dark tonight. Out there, you can't see your hand infront of your own eyes. She must wait to continue her journey by sunrise.

It's best to look for her on the back of his dragon, he decides. He can cover more ground and the Drami's improved eyesight and smell will help them to find y/n quickly. So, he sets way to the stables. He already knows Drami won't be too happy about him waking her up. He walks quickly through the gore to the dragon's den. The other dragons ignore him, some bow their heads in respect. There's even the small green one that hasn't been tamed yet. It scurries away at the sight of Katsuki.

Only his torch illuminates the den upon entering. The dragons inside seem to be asleep. „Drami!“, he calls out to his dragon almost softly. He doesn't want to evoke the great red's rage. „Drami!“, he calls out again, this time a bit louder. Then, the big red dragon moves. It stretches its long hind legs and raises its heavy head.

„We need to find y/n, c'me on!“, Katsuki tells the dragon.

The dragon snarls at him and huffs hot air into his face. Katsuki rolls his eyes.

„Yeah, I know it's late. That's why we need to find her quickly.“, he points out.

The dragon stares at him intently. Katsuki is not sure what she's trying to tell him. „What?“, he asks shrugging. The dragon shifts again, lifting its heavy wing up, revealing y/n. Katsuki's eyes almost bulge out of his head. What on earth is she doing here? Almost at the same time, relief floods his veins. She's safe. When Katsuki wants to rush to the woman's side, a claw-studded paw cuts in between him and y/n. 

Katsuki's head jolts up. „What?“, he asks the dragon again. Drami looks angry now. A deep rumble curses through the dragon's throat. It snaps at Katsuki leaving behind a loud cracking sound when its upper and lower teeth clash against each other. Katsuki jumps back just in time to not get crushed in between the dragon's large jaw.

„Hey!“, he barks at the dragon, „What the fuck are you doin'?“

The dragon rises to its full height filling out the den completely. Y/n slides off its tummy and awakes in a rough manner. Disorientedly she looks around. Meanwhile, the dragon shifts into an intimidating stance looking angrily at Katsuki.

„What are you angry about?“, Katsuki yells grasping y/n's attention.

The dragon curls its tail around y/n in a protective manner. Katsuki doesn't fail to catch onto that.

„Is this about y/n? Fuck, it's not my fault that dumbass ran away?“, he defends himself in front of his dragon. Y/n awkwardly watches the scene in front of her. Somehow, she feels content. Seems as if the dragon is about to put Katsuki into his place. Good.

The dragon snaps at him again and Katsuki quickly moves out of its way. „Don't fuck with me, Drami. It's not funny! I didn't do anything!“, he yells at the dragon.

Suddenly, another rumble goes through the red dragon's throat and then there's electricity in the air. Katsuki's eyes widen. She's not about to...? Not in here! The fire would burn all of them. He can see an orange colour light up in the dragon's throat. Shit!, he thinks. Instinctively, he jumps over the dragon's tail and covers y/n's body with his own.

As quickly as the electricity becomes palpable in the air, as quickly it fades again. Y/n peeks through Katsuki's arms and sees the dragon staring at them intensely. Katsuki shifts, facing the dragon again. He sighs in relief. He absolutely believes Drami would go through with such an action. If a dragon doesn't deem a human worthy of their trust anymore, they more often than not kill them.

„You crazy fuck,“, he tells the dragon standing up and shaking his head. In return, the dragon growls at him

„I get it ok, I haven't been a good mate. I let her slip away.“, he continues. The dragon continues to stare at him angrily.

Katsuki raises his arms in defeat, then drops them again. „What do you want me to say? I didn't keep an eye on her. She could've died, yes. But she was safe with you, wasn't she?“

A rustling sound goes through the red's throat. It moves its head closer to Katsuki and presses its nose against his chest. Katsuki stares back with the same intensity. Then he sighs in defeat.

„Thank you for taking care of her. I'll be better, I promise.“, he tells her and the dragon gives him one more intense stare before settling into a laying position again. The smaller red dragons, which fled the bigger one the moment they sensed its anger, return to its side again.

Y/n doesn't know what Katsuki tells the dragon but it's clear he almost shits his pants. She finds that rather satisfying. Even if the red dragon almost fried her in the process. Quickly, she scrambles onto her feet. She must've fallen asleep somewhen but she's wide awake now.

Katsuki turns to her taking a long look at her. There doesn't seem to be a scratch on her. His instinct tells him to walk up to her, shake her and yell at her for being stupid. He can't believe she ran off and walked straight into dragon territory. She can be lucky Drami protected her. If she was unlucky, one of the other dragons could've seen a convenient snack in her that walked straight into their mouth. Considering what happened earlier, that's probably a bad idea though. Y/n was already pissed and it's better to reconcile than to argue. Especially, since Katsuki decided to ignore his mother's disapprovement. 

Katsuki walks up to y/n and takes her hand. He puts it over his heart and presses it softly. „Don't you dare leave again.“, he tells her. Then, more softly, he adds: „I need you. I was worried.“

Y/n looks up at him. At first, her face looks clueless as it usually does when she doesn't understand him. Then, she harshly pulls her hand away. She's still angry at him. Don't you think a few soft words will make me forget what has happened today, she thinks. 

Without looking at him, she stomps past him exiting the den. Katsuki swirls around and immediately catches up to her. Outside the den, he gets a hold of her wrist and pulls a bit too harshly. Y/n is swirled around. She stops herself inches in front of his chest. Quickly, she brings an arm's length distance between them, as far as her arm allows her to. Katsuki keeps a tight grip on her wrist.

„Where the fuck do you think, you're doing?“, Katsuki growls at her. Y/n looks at him with fire in her eyes.

„Let go of me, asshole!“, she yells at him pulling at her wrist. She doesn't care how loud she is or if she wakes up one of the dragons. How dare he act like this? Maybe a few days prior she would've mistaken Katsuki's attitude for concern, but knowing what she knows now, she's sure it's possessiveness. She can't stand that. Considering what Nadia says, that's all that women are in this place. She refuses to become Katsuki's possession, to let him push her around like that. He either accepts her as an equal or he doesn't get to have her at all.

Stunned, Katsuki lets go of her hand. He already notices some dragons shift in the darkness. Y/n crosses her arms in front of her chest. She doesn't really know where she's going with this. She doesn't want to argue with Katsuki. So far, he has been good to her. Today's been not good, but at the end of the line, he didn't treat her badly. The ceremony this morning went badly but Katsuki didn't lash out his anger at her, only at his furniture. While she doesn't understand where exactly his anger comes from, she shares the sentiment. 

It's been frustrating. Clearly, it's been frustrating to both of them and that Katsuki doesn't seem to have much control over his anger is something y/n noticed before. And despite what Nadia said, he didn't put his hands on her. He even wanted to protect her from the great red's fire. Y/n knows that if the dragon had gone through with it, Katsuki would've been burned to crisps. He was ready to sacrifice himself for her. Katsuki must value her more than he lets on.

Y/n sighs and rubs her face. She tries to calm herself. In contrast to Katsuki, she has more control over her anger. Katsuki watches her intently. He doesn't want to argue with her either. He's frustrated and worried and he doesn't know how to make y/n understand how important she is. To him. To his people.

He tries to take a step towards her when a growl and a pair of red glowing eyes appear right behind her. It's the small green dragon from earlier. Katsuki stops in his tracks. This dragon is untamed which means that it is unpredictable. 

„Don't move.“, he wispers and hopes that y/n understands.

Apparently, y/n didn't hear him, or rather didn't understand him but she slowly moves around staring right into the green one's eyes. Fear starts pulsing in her veins again. At the same time, the anger that's been trying to push down bubbles up again. 

Seriously? As if I don't have enough problems, I've got to deal with this thing again?, she thinks angrily.

„Y/n.“, Katsuki says calmly. They can't make a wrong move right now. His mind flickers back to Drami in the den. He's sure she must sense the green one by now. He just hopes she isn't too offended by earlier to help them if necessary.

Y/n ignores Katsuki. She continues to stare into the green's eyes intently. She holds its gaze. She's not going to back down. It's probably stupid to pick a fight with a dragon but Katsuki and the whole situation made her angry enough to try. 

With a steady, almost dangerous voice, she speaks to the dragon: „Leave. I won't be dealing with you tonight.“

The green dragon shifts, still holding her gaze. For a moment, its gaze flickers back to Katsuki.

„Hey, eyes on me!“, y/n barks at it and immediately catches its attention again. Katsuki feels like he's about to faint. Is she really speaking to a dragon like that? What outcome is she expecting?

`

„I'm telling you one more time.“, y/n says loudly, „Leave and don't come after us.“

The green dragon stares at her. There's a clicking sound in its throat. Then, he snaps at y/n, but y/n expected it considering it snapped at her earlier. She uses her chance and throws herself at its snout. Katsuki watches her with an open mouth. Y/n pushes its snout down before letting go of it.

„Leave!“, she yells. The green dragon looks at her perplexed. It raises its head, probably to spew fire at them when a deep rumble can be heard from the red one's den. It's probably a warning. It's enough to make the green one back off. Y/n holds her stance and stares after it until it disappears into the darkness again. 

When it's clear that it's gone, she loosens her stance and huffs a strand of hair out of her face. Meanwhile, Katsuki gains control of his facial expression again. He's not sure whether to be impressed that y/n stood her ground in front of a dragon or concerned that she's mad enough to try so. Actually, it's probably not that bad. He remembers when he tamed Drami. It's the first thing you need to be capable of, to stand your ground in front of such a mighty beast. Most people go into fight-or-flight mode. Of course, then you also need to fight it into submission, but that's another thing.

Y/n turns around to Katsuki. „Are you coming?“, she tells him before turning to leave. Katsuki quickly catches up to her. They don't speak while they walk back to the settlement. 

The closer they get to the tents, the more relaxed Katsuki feels. Also, his bad consciousness starts to creep up on him. He never apologized to y/n about what had happened today.

„Y/n“, he calls out to her and stops her by taking her hand. This time his touch is soft and not firm. Y/n can get out of his grasp anytime she wants. She turns towards him and looks at him expectantly.

„I'm sorry about today. I'm sorry about my mother treating you badly, I'm sorry if the whole presentation was humiliating to you and I'm sorry I lost it earlier.“, he tells her. 

Y/n is sure he's apologizing right now. He's got that look in his eyes. Curved eyebrows, an almost sorrowful look on his face. It's not enough, however, he needs to try a little harder. A simple apology isn't going to get him into her good grace again. Katsuki sighs and steps a bit closer to her. With his other hand, he strokes her cheek.

„You've been nothing but great. To me, you're the perfect mate. Hell, you are standing your ground no matter what we throw at you. Even a dragon. We, no I, failed you. Drami's right. If I want to be your mate, I need to be better. I promise I will be better.“, he softly says. He knows she can't understand him but he just hopes she'll soften up on him a little bit.

Y/n stares in his eyes intently. His voice sounds soft, almost submissive. She sighs. There's no use in keeping this argument up. It's not going to help her situation. And at least, Katsuki seems to understand that she's frustrated. She just hopes he also believes that her frustration is justified and that he's not just trying to sway her.

She touches his hand softly. Katsuki gives her a shy smile and takes a few steps closer to her. When she doesn't react, he closes the gap between them. Carefully, he wraps his arms around her. Y/n can't help but lean into the touch. By now Katsuki's touch has become something familiar and comforting to her. She buries her face in his chest. Katsuki chuckles and y/n can feel the vibration of his laugh. Her heart flutters a bit. Damn this Katsuki, she thinks, Why does he have to be so attractive? She can feel Katsuki's hand in her hair. Lightly, he scratches the skin on her head. Y/n wants to melt. After this long, confusing day, she just wants to relax and fall asleep in his arms.

Katsuki's hand moves towards her ear and he tucks a few strands of hair behind it. Y/n looks up to him and is met with a soft gaze. It's almost surprising to her. Katsuki rarely looks so soft. He's just not that kind of guy. Maybe today has worn him thin as well. Y/n gives him a small smile. Katsuki's hand ghosts along her cheek. Slowly he moves his head towards hers giving y/n enough time to move out of the way or reject him. She doesn't. Katsuki's lips meet y/n's in a light kiss. He's not putting much pressure behind it. Just enough for y/n's heart to make a little jump. 

Quickly, he pulls away and ruffles y/n's hair lightly. Y/n retreats a bit as well. Katsuki throws an arm around her and pulls her towards the settlement. There's almost no one outside anymore and it's quiet when they walk back to Katsuki's tent. Y/n is shivering by the time they arrive. Katsuki's arm around her shoulder does little to keep her warm. Inside, they're met with the chaos they left behind earlier today. Y/n shakes off Katsuki's arm and zigzags around the broken things on the ground. She picked up the broken parts of the chair earlier but left the other things he threw around on the floor. She flops down onto Katsuki's bed and points at the mess on the floor.

„You're tidying that up!“, she says sternly. Katsuki scratches the back of his head embarrassedly. He's not sure what y/n said but he guesses she's scolding him for the chaos in the tent. Dutifully, he starts picking up the things on the floor. Meanwhile, y/n starts looking for the clothes she wore to bed yesterday. Once she's found them, she disappears to the attached bathing hut. 

When she's done changing, she returns to the main room. She looks around approvingly. Katsuki tidied up the place quite well. Currently, he's not in the tent. Y/n guesses he disposes of some broken things. While waiting for him, she picks up an apple from a fruit bowl that Katsuki placed back on the small table. Sitting on the bed, she eats it. While it's not much, she's glad to finally get something into her stomach. 

Eventually, Katsuki comes back into the tent. When he sees y/n sitting on the bed, he gives her a curt nod. Then, he starts changing. He's still wearing the armor that he put on before the presentation. Chewing on her apple, y/n watches Katsuki changing. Katsuki usually doesn't wear many clothes so there's not much new to see but y/n takes her time observing. She feels like she deserves that. After all, he let all of his people and that woman eyeball her this morning.

She lets her eyes run over his broad shoulder and how the muscles of his back move when he opens his pants and slips out of them. Katsuki stands there in his underwear for a moment as long as he puts the armor and pants away. Y/n admires his naked chest. A few scars decorate the soft skin on his pecks. Her gaze follows his trained bicep down to his hands. She doesn't notice how Katsuki's done putting on some linen pants or how she stopped chewing at some point.

„Ya like what you see?“, Katsuki asks her with a cocky smirk on his face. 

Katsuki's voice rips her out of her own thoughts. She's met with Katsuki's triumphant facial expression. Oops, guess he caught me, she thinks. She sits up a bit and throws the rest of her apple at Katsuki. Katsuki catches y/n's projectile with ease and gives her a biting laugh. He finishes off the apple in two bites and throws it into a bowl by the side.

Katsuki walks over to the bed and gets in at y/n's side. He starts to climb over her but stops when he's right above her. Y/n tries to shuffle away to give him some more space to get to the other side of the bed when she notices a suspicious twinkle in his eyes. He's not planning to move to the other side. Y/n rolls her eyes and Katsuki chuckles. He leans down and kisses her on the lips.

This time, the kiss is a bit less soft. It's more urgent and there's more pressure behind it. Y/n's eyes flutter close. Katsuki slides down and his weight pushes y/n deeper into the pillows. Absently, y/n's hand runs down Katsuki's chest. She feels Katsuki's tongue running along her upper lip. She lets her own tongue run along his lip as well and soon they meet in an even deeper kiss.

By now, y/n's heartbeat picked up. Katsuki detaches from her lips for a second. He presses open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck. Softly, he nibbles at her collarbone. Y/n can't help but let out a muffled moan. She already can feel a tingling sensation in her lower belly. Also, she's starting to get hot. Katsuki lets out a chuckle before returning his attention to her. 

Their eyes meet and y/n can see a mischievous gleam behind Katsuki's eyes. „You dick!“, she tells him and smacks his upper arm. Katsuki laughs and rolls off of her. Y/n hasn't got much time to recover before Katsuki pulls her into him again. Angling her head up to him, he drags his lips over hers again. Y/n shifts to get more comfortable. Part of her leg grazes Katsuki's scrotch and she can feel that he's already half-hard. She's lowkey glad she's not the only one on whom this has an effect. 

Quickly, she tries to move her leg away again but Katsuki catches her leg mid-movement. He pulls her leg in between his own and pulls the rest of y/n half on top of him as well. His other hand finds its way back into y/n's hair. Entangling their mouths again, his other hand starts exploring y/n's back, butt and leg. Y/n's hand rests on his lower stomach just above his v-line. Slowly, her hand creeps up his chest up to his cheek.

They continue to make out like this for a while until y/n breaks the kiss to take a deep breath. Katsuki uses the break to fully pull y/n on top of him. Y/n can feel Katsuki's erection under her. In all honesty, she can't blame him. She's also feeling the effects of all this kissing. The way Katsuki's rough hands drag along her back drives her absolutely mad. She doesn't want to know how the inside of her thighs look right now.

Suddenly, Katsuki's hand finds its way under the shirt she's wearing. While his lips still feverishly drag along hers, his hand softly strokes its way up to her chest. Y/n's heart skips a beat when his calloused hand finally makes an impact with her boob. Carefully, Katsuki kneads the soft bundle of flesh. There's enough pressure behind it to make clear how urgently he wants to touch her and soft enough to not hurt her. Giving her one last kiss, he detaches from her and sits up.

„Take that off.“, he demands and pulls her up towards him. Y/n sits up and lets Katsuki push the shirt over her head. She feels flushed even though Katsuki and she now wear the same amount of clothing. Katsuki lets his gaze wander over her chest. Gently, he reaches out to her. The backside of his hand touches her cheek, and then he lets his hand sink downwards towards her chest. With both hands, he squeezes her breasts. He leans his head forward and rests his forehead against hers. While adrenaline and excitement still curse through her veins, y/n feels oddly at ease suddenly. 

Katsuki lets go of her chest and his hand finds hers. Gently, he caresses her hand before pulling it into his lap. Y/n can feel how he presses her palm onto his hardened member. It's not her first time touching a man. She wonders if Katsuki is aware of this or if he thinks it's her first time. Y/n's other hand reaches up to Katsuki's cheek and she pulls him down onto her lips again. At the same time, she carefully squeezes his dick. Katsuki lets out a frustrated groan before pushing his mouth on hers again. Gently, y/n massages him through his pants.

Then, Katsuki pushes her off of him. „Gimme a sec, doll.“, he mumbles and starts fumbling with his pants and pushes them down his legs. Y/n waits patiently for Katsuki to come back for her. When he shivered out of his pants, he crawls over to y/n again and pushes her onto her back. He starts kissing her neck and nipping at her earlobe. Each kiss leaves behind electricity that shoots down her body. Y/n takes his hand and puts it back on her chest again. She's done with kissing. She wants more. Katsuki lets out a low chuckle. Carefully he dips his head down and lets his tongue run over her nipple. Y/n groans and lets her hand run through his spiky hair.

Meanwhile, Katsuki's hand wanders down her side. When his hand finds the hem of her pants, she can feel her heartbeat quicken again. She's nervous about what's about to happen next. A positive nervous, an expectant nervous, a I-can't-wait-to-feel-your-hands-where-I-need-you-most nervous. However, Katsuki doesn't give her that satisfaction just yet. He lets his hand ghost over her crotch before gently cupping her most private area. Y/n gasps at the contact and wishes that stupid linen pants weren't in the way. Again, Katsuki chuckles at her expression.

Y/n glares at him. She's got enough of his teasing. She pushes at his chest and Katsuki lets himself fall back onto his back with a laugh. Immediately, y/n is on top of him and kisses down his neck. Gently, she bites the skin on the nape of his neck. Katsuki lets out a forced groan. She can feel his dick jump a bit in between her legs. She continues to kiss down his chest, and presses open-mouthed kisses onto his tummy until she has reached his v-line. She traces the bones on his hips while mischievously looking up at him. I can play the same game, she thinks. Katsuki looks down at her through lidded eyes. 

„Fuck, y/n, are you gonna do something or do I need to show you how?“, Katsuki grumbles and pushes his hand into y/n's hair trying to gently push her down onto his cock. Y/n clicked her tongue. „Oh, no, don't think I let you get off this easily.“, y/n teases him. She starts pressing soft kisses onto the side of his hips, down his v-line and stops right in front of his shaft. 

„Shit, you bitch!“, Katsuki groans in frustration but he doesn't move. Secretly he's enjoying y/n's attention and playfulness. He didn't expect y/n to be this devious, especially not in bed. Clearly, she must have some experience and he's glad about that. He was afraid that this would scare her away. But, considering her reactions, she must be enjoying this too.

Lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't notice how y/n's head dips down. Only when he feels her tongue running down his dick. He almost jumps up at the sensation. His hand grips her hair a bit tighter but he doesn't make any further movements. Y/n can feel his leg muscles tighten. She runs her tongue up his shaft again before gently teasing the tip of his cock. Katsuki groans and lets his head fall back. Y/n gently rubs the side of his legs in comfort. I got you, she wants to tell him. 

Then, she takes his entire dick into her mouth. Katsuki almost thrusts up but catches himself mid-movement. Y/n is glad for Katsuki's control. She's sure that she can't deepthroat him. For now, she just bobs up and down his length licking and sucking. The areas her mouth can't reach get stimulated by her hands which she has wrapped around his shaft.

Eventually, Katsuki can't take it anymore and pulls y/n off his dick. He sits up and roughly pulls y/n up to him, towards his mouth. Feverishly, he kisses her, shoving his tongue into her mouth. Slowly but carefully his resolution starts to crumble. In a swift movement, he pushes y/n onto her back with one hand and pushes down her pants with his other hand.

Cool air hits y/n's pussy. She almost gasps at that sensation alone. However, Katsuki is done waiting and teasing. Immediately, he pushes his fingers in between her folds. Y/n lets out a choked noise. Katsuki leans down and starts licking and biting her nipples while massaging her clit in rough, circular movements. Y/n is already seeing stars. It's been so long since someone touched her like this and clearly Katsuki knows what he's doing. His fingers wander from her clit downwards towards her entrance. Swiftly, one of Katsuki's fingers enter her. Y/n can't help but let out a raspy moan. 

She's not sure whether or not Katsuki registers the sound she's making. Maybe he doesn't care or maybe he's beyond capable of teasing her about it. Either way, his mouth lets go of her nipple and wanders down her tummy until he finally reaches her cunt. He's not waiting for another second before pushing his tongue in between y/n's folds. Y/n gasps again and buckles her hip. Katsuki simply pushes her hips down and continues his administration. While his tongue swirls around in between her pussy folds, his finger pumps in and out of her tight hole. Y/n's upper body twists around in the bedsheets. 

It feels so good, she barely can't take it anymore. Katsuki adds another finger and y/n goes wild. She pushes her hands into his hair and she's not sure whether she wants to push his head deeper into her cunt or pull him away because she needs to stop. Katsuki does not leave any room for a decision as he pushes deeper into her crotch. Just when he feels y/n's walls tighten around his fingers, he pulls away.

He stares at y/n with wild eyes. Her wetness still glittering on his lips and chin. Y/n's chest is heaving and she can't tear her eyes away from Katsuki. „Fuck, babe, you taste so fucking good.“, Katsuki grumbles while taking a long look at her. Y/n's hair is disheveled and her cheeks are flushed. Right now, there is a disappointed expression on her face. Katsuki grins and moves to hoover over her. 

„Don't worry, love, you'll get to come. You just have to do it on my dick. Only this way you can become truly mine.“, he tells her.

Y/n pouts because she doesn't understand why they're suddenly stopping. Luckily, Katsuki doesn't let her wait too long. He crawls up her body and kisses her deeply. Y/n can feel his dick laying right above her pussy. Katsuki snaps his hips a bit and pushes his dick in between her wet folds. Y/n moans and opens her legs so that he has better access to her pussy.

„Shit, babe, you want me that bad, hm?“, Katsuki groans as he sees y/n pull her legs apart for him. He leans back a bit to take a good view of her soaked cunt. „Fuck...“, he groans as he lets his dick run over her now-open pussy.

„Katsuki!“, y/n whines. She wants him. Now. Katsuki chuckles and leans down to kiss her. „Alright, alright, babe, I get what you want.“, he mumbles as he shifts and tries to find her entrance with his cock. When he's not fast enough, y/n takes matters into her own hands and leads his dick to her entrance. Katsuki doesn't wait for another second and pushes into her in one swift movement. Y/n can't help but let out a loud moan at the sensation. Katsuki's head drops down onto her shoulder.

He doesn't give her any time to adjust to him but immediately starts a steady pace. His dick slides in and out of y/n's slick hole. Y/n wraps her legs around his hips and grabs onto his shoulders. She can't help but let her eyes roll back a bit. Her fingers could never compare to the feeling of a real dick inside of her. And Katsuki's dick feels especially good. Katsuki keeps up the pace for a bit until he grows tired of it. He sits up a bit and his dick slides out of y/n. She groans in protest.

„Relax, love, we're not done yet.“, Katsuki mumbles as he sits up on his knees. Roughly, he pulls one of y/n's legs over his shoulder and opens her other leg widely. Then, he shoves his cock back inside of her. In short, hard movements, he rocks in and out of her pussy. Y/n cries out loud at the new angle and the roughness with which Katsuki starts to fuck her.

„Fuck, babe, this feels so good.“, Katsuki groans while his balls slap against y/n's ass. He has had sex before but it was never like this. He either paid the women or just took them. None of them were as wet as y/n or as willing to move against him the way y/n does. And the sight of her just added to his arousal. Concluding from her facial expression and moans, y/n must be so fucking horny for him. It makes him wish they had done this sooner. Before they came here and things got more complicated.

„Katsuki-i...! Harder! Fuck!“, y/n moans and grips his wrists. Even without understanding her words, Katsuki gets the message. He wants to fuck her harder and faster, too. He pulls y/n's leg from his shoulders and hooks his hands under both her knees pulling her pussy closer to him. He quickens the place and the closeness gives him the option to ram his dick into her harder.

„Fuck, yes!“, y/n yells. She's glad he understood what she wants. Fuck, this is so good, she thinks. She loves how hard Katsuki is taking her. Most men are too timid to take her how she likes it the first time. The first time is always a bit awkward, trying to find out what the other likes. But Katsuki fucks her just the way she wants his, the way she needs it. She needs to forget this awful day and Katsuki's cock in her pussy makes her mind goes numb.

Slowly, but steadily, y/n can feel her orgasm approaching. She hopes that Katsuki doesn't change his movement but keeps it up just the way he's fucking into her right now. There are already pearls of sweat forming on his chest and eyebrows. Meanwhile, Katsuki can feel y/n's pussy tighten around his member. 

„Shit, babe, are you close?“, he groans while keeping up the pace. Concluding from y/n's concentrated look, yes, she must be. Carefully he grips her upper body and pulls her up to him. Y/n whines at the change of position but Katsuki makes it up to her by fucking up into her and reaching that one spot that drives her mad. Katsuki pulls her up and his face rests on the left side of her neck. Y/n claws at his back, desperate to finally get off. Katsuki continues to fuck into her relentlessly. 

„I've got you, babe, c'mon, come on my cock.“, he mumbles into her skin. 

Right now, he needs her to finally climb over the edge. It will hurt less if she's in the middle of an orgasm. Y/n groans throwing her head back. Katsuki can feel her pussy tighten one more time and then start spasming around him. That's what he's been waiting for. He doesn't wait for another second and sinks his teeth into her neck.

Pain. Blinding, numbing pain shoots up her neck. 

Y/n lets out a choked scream. From all the things she's expected Katsuki to do, this is not on the list. Is he... biting her? It feels like he's about to rip a large part of flesh out of her. The pain overshadows the orgasm she forgets she's having. She pushes against his chest, trying to get him off of her.

„Let... go!!“, she cries as she pushes against him. There's no use. He's so much stronger than her. He only sinks his teeth deeper into her flesh. Maybe it's because there was more adrenaline in her blood back then, but this feels worse than when she was hit with the arrow.

Her heart pulls itself together. Why is he doing this? She can feel her warm blood flow down her own chest. He must know how badly he's injuring her.

Meanwhile, he's still fucking into her roughly.

She wants him off. She wants his teeth and dick outside of her body. Right now. She fights against him. Pushing and scratching him. Yelling and crying to let her go, but Katsuki doesn't listen to her. Or he's not hearing her.

His thrusts pick up speed as he fucks into her. 

„No, Katsuki! Pull out!“, she yells but Kasuki is too far gone to register her words. In three hard thrusts, he comes. Y/n can feel his hot seed spluttering deep inside of her.

By now, all colour must've left her face and she becomes numb. 

She doesn't feel the pain in her neck anymore. Or how Katsuki pulls away from her. How he gently places her onto the bed and presses a clean cloth against the wound. How he caresses her face and litters it with soft kitten kisses. How he gets another warm, wet cloth and carefully cleans the inside of her thighs. How he pulls her close and lovingly scratches her head. 

Or how he softly mutters:

„You're mine now, my mate.“

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[Please comment beneath the last update if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters]

[e-i-l-f]

i wish i could do music stuff w you. it's been so hard for me to accept that i've never been musical and i don't think i can learn to be. i don't even know if i can accept it actually. i still hope all the time that someday i'll be able to really do stuff w you and write something and play something and feel like a part of this realm i've always wanted to be a part of. i know i don't put the time in, but trying my hand at music or lyric writing makes me so upset i just give up immediately. idk how to get past that. it always feels like any investment in the parts of music i think i'd actually be good at would be a waste of time and money. what if i'm not actually good at them at all, and even if i am it's just become an expensive hobby i now have. sometimes i think i can sing and other times i feel really stupid for ever having thought that. other people seem to have so much fun doing music, but when i'm included i'm a) so happy but b) so worried that no one wants me there, since it really doesn't make sense and i know that. i feel like i slow everyone down but i want to be included so badly i can't make myself turn down the opportunity. i have songs in my head all the time, but when i try to create them in the physical plane, it sounds so bad to me or i just can't. like when u can envision exactly what u want to draw but u can't draw it. rly sorry for this, u do not have to read it all. idk if maybe i should have just put this in a note to no one instead, i just... idk how i can be this emotional constantly, and still unable to express any of it artistically. it makes me feel trapped.

i guess i decided to put it in a note to no one after all.

[enaelyork]

Cooper Howard (ghoul) x fem!reader with this prompt:

*someone smacks readers ass*

*gun clicks*

Ghoul - “oh I really wish you hadn’t have done that”

Hi ! Thx for this request ! Here i go :)

Bad idea ~ The Ghoul x F!Reader

Tw : Injurie, Sexual harassement, insultes

Banners by @saradika

It wasn't a good idea.

However, he was used to bad plans, ever since he roamed the wasteland with the firm intention of surviving there. But he had never made a series of bad decisions so quickly.

Let yourself be convinced to be accompanied. Let his new companion in misfortune enter this mess to make a deal.

Really. That being said, this idiot clearly didn't give him a choice.

And he was obliged to follow it because it was the only possible option to know the route to take towards your next objective. Staying in the background, he observed all the eyes on her.

A woman like that wouldn't often walk through the doors of a bounty hunting establishment.

This interest they had in his associate bothered him more than it should and he felt a certain form of inexplicable anger boiling within him.

- I'll do it. Wait outside.

Sitting at the bar, Y/N turned towards him, her eyes filled with burning determination and resentment. It wouldn't be easy to change her mind, not after your little talk last night.

- Do you want to team up now? The Ghoul returned the bitterness in her eyes, resting her elbow on the counter where she had just swallowed her second glass.

What if he wanted to work in a team? Never ! What if this situation made him crazy? Absolutely.

- I didn't say that, I said you had to wait for me outside.

- And I told you that I would take care of this matter.

And if you continue, you're going to have a lot more business to attend to. He thought, observing the eyes fixed on her again. The irrepressible urge to put out each of those eyes was excruciating and he was going to have to keep a low profile if he didn't want the plan to screw up further.

But everything went to hell the moment this idiot placed his ass on the stool that separated you from her, devouring the entirety of her silhouette with a wicked and disgusting look. He shouldn't get involved. After all, Y/N had gotten into this mess alone, you had nothing to share other than a common quest.

It was now time she truly discovered the horror of the world they lived in. So if this guy wanted to try anything, she would defend herself or find out the hard way that there weren't all good people here.

- What is such a pretty girl like you doing in this shithole? The man stood between them like a thick, disgusting wall.

The Ghoul looked away, hoping that by detaching himself from this pathetic spectacle, he would also curtail his murderous urges.

- The pretty girl doesn't talk to strangers. You better give me some space.

A smile appeared on the Ghoul's mouth. Presumably, guts wasn’t a privilege Y/N reserved for him. And that was probably what he liked most about her, even if he would never admit it.

- Relax, my beauty. In this brutal world I just want to share a moment of gentleness.

And me a bloody parenthesis, but unfortunately we can't have everything. The Ghoul thought, looking down at the back of the man next to him. He had placed an arm on the table and was already handing Y/N a glass.

- I am not thirsty.

- So maybe you want something else?

That's how everything went wrong.

Him and his rudeness, him now clinging to her and his hand sliding up her thigh to go up to her buttock. He touched her with such eagerness that it was embarrassing and although she wanted to slap him, she did not want to attract the attention of the tenants. Big mistake.

- You have a fucking ass, my beauty. Would you like me to warm it up a bit? It seems that not many people have had the opportunity to…

The man didn't finish his sentence, the pressure he felt between his legs and the very characteristic click of a gun about to fire froze him in place.

- What is…

He met nothing but the cold, imperturbable gaze of the Ghoul. The sinister look he hid in the shadow of his hat would have caused the bar to evacuate immediately. Y/N saw him, she felt anger boiling in the pit of her stomach, causing a completely different reaction in her.

- Try touchin' her again and I guarantee you'll never be able to play with what's between your legs again.

- Such a smart one, you. Are you looking for troubles ? I was there before.

- Big mistake, she belongs to me.

- I don’t belong to…

- Shut it up, sweatheart. I have some scores to settle with this guy.

Oh damn, no problem. Y/N grumbled in a whisper mixing anxiety and excitement. Had he really just threatened a guy because he had the misfortune of touching her and feeling her butt? A thin smile appeared on her lips at this idea, but she preferred to leave this strange reaction to the effect of adrenaline.

- Get out of here where you will end up with a hole between your legs and, rest assured, I will think of you when I caress her with your blood on my hands.

It was too much.

No waves.

No shouting.

No tussle.

Just a stupid hunter freeing himself from the coldness of his gun to flee with a step that he wanted to be serene but which betrayed the panic that reigned within him. The ghoul followed him with his gaze, making sure that it wouldn't occur to his to turn back.

When he disappeared from the bar, however, he felt another figure settle down on the stool next to him.

- Did you really just do that?

YN.

She had taken her place there, next to him. Her eyes glided over him with a light he didn't know existed and it upset him. So much so that he preferred to ensure the safety of his weapon before storing it in its holster.

- I did it. And you will quickly forget everything. That and also your stupid idea. Let's get out of here.

He didn't give her time to respond, taking off from the seat to head towards the exit as well. If she stayed there, too bad for her, he wouldn't intervene twice. But her shadow followed him, and he could make out the sound of her footsteps behind his, hastily approaching him.

- It would be a shame to forget the idea that you could touch me.

This is how he understood that she had reduced him to nothing.

Him and his certainty of now being insensitive.

[savannahsdeath]

Is there a chance you can toxic Ellie x reader. Where Reader was leaving Ellie for good and she never came back.

just a drabble since im still really busy but i had to write it because we all deserve something better than toxic!ellie!! i know i know we love ellie just, please, not the toxic one🩷

: ̗̀➛ the scene was going on for hours. you kept packing your things, she kept taking them and placing back on the shelves. your shirt had wet stains in places where your tears dropped and soaked into it.

"you're so dramatic." she smirked, taking a step forwards.

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand. "no, i am not. i won't let you ruin me. not anymore."

"who told you i ruin you?" her amused smile faded as she put her arms on her hips. "can't you see that this person, whoever it was, is manipulating you? they know you're nothing without me so they're trying to separate us. they're praying on your downfall and you? you're just helping them."

"why would my own best friend do something like that? no, ellie, you're just— insane, crazy, a fucking psycho, whatever!" you zipped up your backpack and picked it up.

: ̗̀➛ she watched as you carefully walked over the stairs. "you haven't even packed like... half of your things."

"oh well!" you sarcastically laughed. "you'll have a souvenir."

"so you don't plan on coming back for them?" she frowned, finally realising that, this time, you're serious.

: ̗̀➛ you didn't answer, putting your jacket on. she walked over to you and tried to kiss you, but you dodged her with a hiss.

"come on, babe" she sighed. "y'know how i can make it up to you..."

"just leave me alone" you begged and took a few steps backwards, until your back hit the door.

"don't make a scene" she bit her lip as she watched you make your way through the doorstep. "come back inside and we'll figure something out."

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and finally turned around.

"okay" she nodded. "have a day off. but i'll find you. you know i will."

: ̗̀➛ you chuckled through your tears. "good luck"

⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

: ̗̀➛ two days later you were in a train to a different state. this decision was spontaneous and you could as well end up being homeless but you were sure you'll survive, somehow. your friend - luccy called you, waking you up from a nap.

"she paid me a visit, to put it politely."

"god" you fully sat up and straightened up, immediately waking up. "how bad was it?"

"i expected worse" luccy chuckled. "it was kinda hilarious, actually. i didn't want to let her in but she, of course, made her way inside anyway. she quickly realised it's too late."

"but she didn't..." you paused, thinking of all the possibilities. your girlfriend, now ex, was capable of a lot of crazy things. "...uh— hurt you or anything?"

"oh, she was mad" luccy laughed again. "but no, she didn't do anything. i'd say we're safe, for now."

: ̗̀➛ you hummed. your plan wasn't too brilliant, but you did everything you could to not leave any clues. she won't find you, you knew she won't. and eventually, she'll completely give up and stop trying. maybe she'll even move on and find someone else? maybe even a healthy relationship?

let's hope so.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑬𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑫 𝑶𝑭 𝑲𝑶𝑹𝑹𝑨 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  so, i sort of started a civil war ...  ❜ ❛  i am so sorry for turning my back on you as my mentor.  ❜ ❛  i needed to understand what real suffering was, so i could become more compassionate to others.  ❜ ❛  what's the big idea with making me train this early in the morning? the morning is evil.  ❜ ❛  oh, i'm sorry. did i put you in a difficult position by fighting the giant force of pure evil that was going to destroy the whole world? maybe your administration could have handled that.  ❜ ❛  fighting is something the old me would do. that always made things worse.  ❜ ❛  let's go on a vacation, just the two of us. anywhere you want.  ❜ ❛  it's all right. people usually assume that i'm daddy's helpless little girl, but i can handle myself.  ❜ ❛  the world is in trouble ... i have to go help.  ❜ ❛  i'm impressed. no one has ever gotten the better of me like that.  ❜ ❛  i assure you, i have a plan. and i'm saving you for last; then you'll get your duel, and i will destroy you.  ❜ ❛  when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.  ❜ ❛  i did what i had to do to survive and protect my little brother.  ❜ ❛  and ... what am i going to find if ... i get through this?  ❜ ❛  we should always learn from those who came before us, but we must also forge our own path.  ❜ ❛  why don't you come and find out?  ❜ ❛  if you look for the light, you can often find it. but if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see.  ❜ ❛  you need to make decisions based on what you want. don't make the same mistakes i did.  ❜ ❛  i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing half the time.  ❜ ❛  right, friends. no, no, i didn't mean to imply.  ❜ ❛  i do like the idea of putting you on a train and sending you far, far away.  ❜ ❛  you need me, but i don't need you.  ❜ ❛  you swore your loyalty to me and i gave you a chance at greatness. this is how you repay me?  ❜ ❛  i told you dating a teammate would be a bad idea.  ❜ ❛  stick around five minutes and you'll find out who's bluffing.  ❜ ❛  wait! we can't fight them all. we need to be smart about this.  ❜ ❛  you know, it's okay to be scared. the important thing is to talk about our fears, because if we don't, they throw us out of balance. i'm always here for you, if you want to talk.  ❜ ❛  what i'm trying to say is, as much as you drive me crazy ... i also think you're pretty amazing.  ❜ ❛  see, that's what i admire about you, [ name ]: your willingness to go to extremes in order to get what you want. it is a quality we both share.  ❜ ❛  ending a relationship is kind of like pulling off a bloodsucking leech. you just gotta rip it off and get it over with. you'll feel a lot better afterwards. trust me.  ❜ ❛  don't tell me you are still mad about everything that happened?! i did some good things, too!  ❜ ❛  all right, hold on. will you quit ignoring me and tell me what's going on?  ❜ ❛  how about, for now, i just promise not to show up at your house and attack you again?  ❜ ❛  what would you do, if you were in charge? help me be more like you.  ❜ ❛  i wish you were putting up more of a fight, but it was still fun.  ❜ ❛  please, just let me say one thing, then i'll never contact you again.  ❜ ❛  i'm not sure i'll ever be able to forgive you. but that doesn't mean i shouldn't try.  ❜ ❛  i came here to look you in the eye and tell you that you have no power over me. i will no longer be scared of you.  ❜ ❛  but if you had any other options, you wouldn't be here now, would you? we may have been enemies once, but for now, our interests align.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to apologize for anything. i'm just so happy you're here now.  ❜

[knapptapp]

Without Me You'd Just Disappear

Yan!Ghost x Reader

Word Count: 1,970

Part 2 of Your Nothing Without Me

Part one Here!

Sometimes he comes in and sits on the corner of the bed. He really doesn't do anything but stare at you. A silent stare with cold dead eyes. Much to your surprise he never makes any move to touch you or close the distance you have created by flattening yourself against the headboard.

You don't dare allow yourself to look away, afraid when you look back he’ll be closer.

When he’s not there you allow yourself to look around the room. It's rather small, not much to look out for. There's one clock on the wall across from you but it's permanently stuck at 2:30. But you swear, out of your peripheral view you can see the hands click by.

And when you close your eyes and try to get some much-needed sleep you can hear it.

Tick Tock TIck Tock Tick Tock

You know time is passing. Because that's how reality works. You can count the seconds passing but only for a short while before the numbers meld together and you can't remember what comes after what.

You think you are going insane.

Every time you look back at the clock it's still stuck. Maybe time isn't passing. You must have slipped and hit your head on your way home. Bled out on the sidewalk before anyone could find you.

And now you are in hell. Or maybe purgatory. God was punishing you for your sins. He must be. What sins, you do not know. You try to rack your brain. Running through every decision you've ever made. But you keep coming up blank. Were your sins so bad your mortal mind can't even comprehend them?

At least it keeps your mind off of numbers.

You start to prefer the days where he sits on the end of your the bed. At least then fear takes over your mind and all you can think about is your heart ramming in your chest.

He didn't have a face under his mask. It was easier to think of it like that. Imagine him as anything but human The fear of the unknown and the imaginary monster your mind created was less tortuous than the knowledge that he was a real person

You know he’s trying to scare you because why else would he be wearing that horrifying mask? A skull. When you first saw it you thought it was made from a real skull, and that your own bones would soon join the college of horror. Now, you feel stupid. The more you start at it the more it becomes slightly less grotesque. There were no cracks or lines where pieces of bones would have been glued together. The material looks rough and dry.

If you ran your fingers over it you bet it would have the texture of chalk, leaving white dusty residue over the pads of your fingers. The only thing human about him, the one piece your mind can't twist, are his eyes. They are entirely human.

“Are you hungry?”

His voice catches you so off guard you think the clock has started talking to you. It seems like the more logical option. It takes a few seconds for your mind to process his words.

Are you hungry

You narrow your eyes at him. You keep your mouth shut, lips clamped tightly together. You are hungry. And your body is ever so self-centered, protesting loudly against your silence. One of his eyes widened with what must be the raise of an eyebrow. He stares at you unblinking, waiting for you to call your own bluff.

“It's been three days and you must be hungry.”

Three.Three.Three.

Three days of full purgatory and at the same time. Only three.

“Thirsty too I bet,” He says. Your mouth is a savanna desert but you don't say that. How long can humans go without water again? Five days? Four days?

“Just say the words and I'll bring you some food and water.”

Three days. Humans can survive without water for three days.

“Please.” You don't ever realize your speaking until the words echo back to you. Cracked and wheezy.

He stands up and leaves and you have a dreadful feeling he isn't coming back.

You close your eyes for only a moment and open them to the sound of clinking metal.. And a searing pain encompasses your wrist. Automatically you yank it towards you realizing too late it's your handcuffed hand. But the pain of metal cutting into skin never comes.

Instead, your hand hits your chest. You shoot up as soon as you realize you're free, cradle your burning wrist in your other hand. The skin is red and blisters, some of the skin has been cut through or rubbed off from your constant pulling.

“Don't think about trying anything. We both know you won't win.” He’s standing right next to you, handcuffs in hand. And he’s right. He's huge at 6'4 and 200-something lbs. Compared to him you're tiny.

The skull mask has been replaced with a plain black balaclava. It's the first time you've seen him without his skull mask and it just further breaks down the small amount of comfort you've created.

“I’ll treat your wrist after you eat.” He gestures to the bedside table beside him. On it is a tray with two plates of food and a glass of water alongside an old army med kit.

He walks over to the farthest wall where his chair had been placed and pulls it back to the bedside table. He places it down, mere inches away from the bed. The old chair creaks as he sits down.

Of course, he was staying. You half expected him to leave. But that's stupid. You are uncuffed with full access to the room and the door. You are being held against your will after all.

As silently as you can you scoot a few inches away. He stares at you, fingers twitching by his side with the urge to yank you back to him. But he doesn't, instead, he reaches over, picks a plate off the tray, and hands it to you.

The smell of food hits you and you rush forward to take it. It’s just some rice and vegetables but your mouth waters at it. Stomach loudly protesting once again.

He reached out to hand you something else. A fork the plastic kind. Doesn't want to risk you trying to stab him with a metal one. In all honesty, you hadn't even thought about it. Stabbing him or a fork. You would eat with your hands. Would probably get the food into you quicker.

Still, you take the fork, not sparing him a glance before you start eating.

You hear the clinking of plates and look up. Instead of the black mask you're expecting to see you are met with pale skin. He has his mask pushed up over his nose.

You could see his features. His nose, lips, and chin The expansion of freckles along the tiny bit of his cheeks you can see. For once he’s not staring at you, but instead at the plate he has balanced in one hand.

It's the same thing you have. With his other hand, he stabs a piece of broccoli with his metal fork and brings it to his lips. He’s eating with you. Like this is a normal fucking situation. Like you too are a couple eating dinner together and not a kidnapper and kidnapper.

You shovel as much food as you can into your mouth. Some weird part of you is glad he's no longer staring at you and seeing you eat like a rabid animal. Got to keep some of your dignity, right?

As much as your body demands and needs food, It is not happy receiving it. The first few bites make your stomach burn and when you swallow it sends you gagging which in turn, gives you a headache.

It doesn't really taste like anything and it's hard to eat with your constantly dry mouth but you keep going. You need food. You're just about to stab a piece of broccoli when a gloved hand takes hold of the plate and pulls it away from you.

You quickly swallow the food in your mouth and choke down a gag threatening to force it all back up again. You're too tired to try and get the plate back so you let him take it, hands falling to your lap, still clutching your plastic fork.

He places it back on the try, where he has already placed his own. It's close enough you could grab it back if you really wanted to But all you want to do right now is sleep. And water You desperately want water Your vision is starting to get blurry around the edges. You close your eyes to try and blink away the blurriness but your eyelids seem too heavy to lift again. There's a vague warmness on your shoulder and then a slight shaking sensation. It's the first time he's ever really touched you and frankly, you can't find it in you to care

Through the haze you can feel yourself being pulled forward, head tilted back with what feels like a hand supporting your skull. Something pulls your lips apart leaving briefly only to be replaced by something else within seconds. Something cold slowly pours down your throat.

A stream from god it must be. It immediately soothes your sore throat and gives your mouth some much-needed wetness. Liquid gold it must be. Something so precious and reviving. It trickles down until it's gone.

He moves you so you are laying back down, the warmth of a blanket covering you. There's the clinking of plates and then the sound of a door opening and closing.

You wake up periodically, always groggy and confused, only to fall back asleep almost immediately. He’s always there when you wake up. Sometimes on his chair, at the edge of the bed, standing ominously in the corner.

When you finally fully wake up, he’s staring down at you. Wide brown eyes unblinking. It startles you awake, and your brain is finally at full working capacity. You completely freeze, unsure of what to do. He squints down at you.

“Are you awake?”

Obviously.

You nod, ever so slightly, and he moves from your field of vision. You can hear shuffling next to you, but you don't turn to look. Instead, you choose to focus completely on the ceiling above you.

He’s pulling your arm, hand gripping just below the dried blood on your wrist. It's almost gentle. Almost.

Time ticks by. Or at least you think. You can't see the clock from your position. You wonder what it says.

There's some wetness on your wrist and it stings. Automatically your arm twitches. You turn to look at him.

He has some sort of wet wipe in his hand and is slowly working the dried blood away in a surprisingly soft manner. The med kit is open next to him, bandages, gauze, and other medical supplies spilling out.

You can tell your crying, just barely through your haze. Your cheeks are starting to get wet

Once he works the blood off he wraps your wrist with gauze and presses the lower half of his face against your inner wrist. You think he’s kissing you but you can't really tell with the mask.

He pulls it up and presses a proper little kiss to the bandaging before rising again to look up at you.

He leans in. You brace yourself for what's about to come, squeezing your eyes shut as tight as you can. His tongue makes contact with the bottom of your jaw. He licks a long strip up your cheek, licking up your tears.

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Shades of Grey

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)

(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always

Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)

TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!

August 2021

The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop. 

“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”

Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”

“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh. 

“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”

“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, ” Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”

Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe. 

“You don’t mean that,” she whispers. 

Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”

“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”

“Watch your fucking mouth-”

“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word. 

Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister. 

“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”

“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”

“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”

“I didn’t lie about anything.”

Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’,  all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”

“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”

“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”

“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in. 

“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”

“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet. 

“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door. 

“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think  I wanna be friends.”

When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken. 

***

July 2023

Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch. 

When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s. 

Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared. 

“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together. 

“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch. 

Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”

“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously. 

“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”

The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days. 

“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant. 

“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”

“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”

It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant. 

“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent. 

“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”

“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”

“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”

“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”

“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”

Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions. 

“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”

“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”

She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out. 

“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”

The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it. 

“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”

Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?” 

Azzi’s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight. 

“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”

Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”

Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-

“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this  random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige. 

“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment. 

Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom. 

There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.

She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”

“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”

“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm. 

“Stop lying,” Paige bites out. 

“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.  

“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief. 

“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”

“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”

“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers. 

Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”

“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.” 

“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”

The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her. 

“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline. 

“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”

Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.

Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine. 

“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine. 

A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm. 

“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them. 

“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants. 

“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”

Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”

It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above. 

“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies. 

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”

Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-

“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately,  against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction. 

“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”

As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw. 

“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together. 

Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s  firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked. 

“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers- 

“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls. 

“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door,  “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”

“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”

“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”

“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”

Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly. 

There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself

“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly. 

“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”

“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.

There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”

Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her. 

“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her. 

“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”

Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart. 

“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up. 

“Paige I-”

“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her. 

***

November 2023

UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury. 

The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have. 

It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins. 

Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little. 

“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.

Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”

They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart. 

*** 

UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.

It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow. 

Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them. 

“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”

“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises. 

“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?

“Right, right, continue.”

“Well now I don’t want to.”

Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary. 

“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously. 

“Fresh air.”

“And?”

Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”

“It always feels like that at the beginning.”

“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you  his hardest battles, right?”

“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”

“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”

“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”

Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right,  and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.

“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”

I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me. 

“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them. 

“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue. 

“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”

“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”

“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”

“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”

“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-” 

“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”

“Paige-”

“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue. 

In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But- 

“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”

The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face. 

The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”

“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”

If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees. 

Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up. 

“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same. 

The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone. 

“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately. 

“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck. 

“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”

“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.

Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch,  “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows. 

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit. 

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”

Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”

Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”

She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.

“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”

Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips. 

“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”

Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress. 

“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge. 

“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer. 

There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles. 

***

Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob. 

She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.

And then she gets up and goes on with her day. 

[lovesickgolbach]

Words I didn't say 3 || LN4

Description: Things were different this time around.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Verstappen!reader

Warnings: none! actually, my dutch might be a liiiiiittle off so sorry about that, at least i tried :)

A/N: hello! hi! my writing style has DRASTICALLY changed so this fic is like 10x better quality than the other two so... oops. Maybe i'll rewrite them one day, maybe not. we'll see.

but for now- enjoy and thank you for reading <3

Part 1 , Part 2

A week had gone by since you and Max had your falling out, he had texted you but you had ignored them all by leaving him on read or just archiving the chat so that his name wouldn’t be on your screen every time you opened your phone.

You were deeply hurt by Max’s actions, not just because of the yelling, but because he accused you of lying. It hurt because he was your twin brother, literally your other half, he was your best friend and you know everything about each other (yes, everything). How he could accuse you of lying to him so easily just baffles you.

The thing is— Max knows how you feel about your father, he knows why you never initiate any sort of communication from your side with him, even though he’s at nearly every race weekend. You’ve accepted the fact that Max will always worship your father and you respect his decision not to completely cut him off, but you spoke with him about this and he knows to keep Jos away from you.

You sit on Lando’s couch, swimming in your thoughts as you stare at a message from Kelly, this was the first text she has sent you all week, not wanting to get between you and your brother’s drama. You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it to the side.

“Hey,” Lando speaks up as he walks into the apartment, looking sweaty and disheveled from his workout. You had to physically restrain yourself from not jumping on top of him. Things have been mostly normal between the two of you, the only thing that’s changed is that you aren’t dating anymore. You don’t sleep in his bed, you don't kiss or have sex or cuddle when you watch movies. You’ve been sleeping in the guest room since that night you showed up at his doorstep in tears.

“Hey,” you respond, shooting him a soft smile. “How was the workout?” You question, watching him as he refills his water bottle and taking a few sips. “It was alright, fucking hot but it was alright.” He flops down next to you on the couch, letting out a huff of air.

“Heard anything from Max?” he questions, looking over at you. You roll your eyes, “What do you think? Even Kelly is texting me now. Says he’s been quiet,” You shrug, shifting to cross your legs. Lando looks over at you, “He was at the gym, when I got there. He looks like shit, honestly. He did try talking to me, but I ignored him. I was sure he was almost in tears when I walked off.” His expression is neutral as he speaks, wanting to gauge your answer.

“Good.” Is all you say in response. Yeah, you feel bad for making your brother (who doesn’t like to get emotional) cry, but he had yelled at you and sent you into a full blown panic attack. He deserved to be upset. He deserved to be worried.

“Y/N—” Lando starts, but you cut him off by lifting your hand to silence him. “I am planning on going back to his place anyway, tomorrow. He’ll survive one more night.”

Lando just nods, before getting up. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Do you… want to talk after I’m done?” he questions, you just nod, “Yeah, we should talk, properly, I guess.”

He nods silently before making his way over to his bedroom and closing the door.

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t.

But you do it anyway.

You jump up from the couch, running over to his room before opening the door, not bothering to knock. Lando lets out a surprised scream, standing in only his white boxers, trying to desperately cover himself up. “Y/N!? What are you—”

You cut him off with a kiss, smashing your lips together roughly, he instantly kisses back, his hands finding their way to your waist. You pull back after a moment, breathless and red-lipped from the kissing. You look into his eyes, those gentle blue-green eyes you fell in love with when you first looked at him.

“This is not me fully forgiving you… we need to— we need to discuss a few things still, but this is me telling you I still love you, I still want to be with you and— and I do love you, I still love you, I never stopped, Lando, But if— if we want us to work out, we can’t hide anymore, I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to kiss you in the paddock and sit in your garage, I want to hold your hand in public, I want to be known as your girlfriend.” Your words come out shaky, a few tears running down your face.

Lando nods rapidly, “Yes, yes anything you want, baby, anything. I won’t lose you again, I won’t. I’m so sorry, so so sorry.” He pulls you into a tight hug which you reciprocate immediately. You feel so safe with him. Your heart is his, it always has been.

“Do you… want to join me in the shower?” Lando asks, unsure of where your boundaries are set at this point in time. It’s not like he’s never seen you naked so you shrug, before pulling your top off.

“Why not,” You smile, taking his hand and dragging him into the bathroom.

–

The next day, Lando drives you back to your brother's place, parking in the driveway. You turn to him, kissing his cheek softly. “I think it’s better if i do this alone, okay? I will text you.”

Lando nods, giving you a reassuring smile. “You can do this, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You kiss him again quickly before walking to the front door and letting yourself in. Before you can even step a foot into the house you are nearly tackled to the ground by a little figure.

“Y/N!!!!!!” The little girl screeches, trying to practically climb her way up into your arms. “Hey sweet P!” You plaster on a smile, picking her up and hugging her tightly. God, you loved this little girl so much. “Missed you,” She mumbles into your neck and you can't help the sting you feel in your chest. You didn't think about her when you left, usually she would see you at least once or twice every week, your chest stings thinking about how she was probably waiting for you to visit but you never came.

“I missed you too,” You kiss her cheek as you make your way to the living room, where you found your brother, yelling into his headphones at whoever he was playing with.

You move so that you're in his field of vision, still cradling P against your chest. His head snaps up when he sees you.

“Y/N…” Max looks surprised to see you.

You place P down gently, “Go play upstairs and I will come play with you okay?” You smile brightly at the little girl who nods vigorously, making a beeline for the stairs.

“Do not run up the stairs Penelope!” Max yells after her, turning back to you before placing his controller down.

"Y/N…” He starts again but you shake your head, effectively cutting him off. “I do not want your excuses. Ik verdiende niet wat je me hebt aangedaan.” I did not deserve what you did to me.

Max looks down at his hands. “Jij bezit my niet,” You don't own me. You growled, feeling the same kind of anger you felt just a week prior. “You are my brother and that is it, I can do with my life what I want. You don't get to yell at me like Dad used to, you don't get to yell at me and expect me to just—” you vaguely gesture with your hands, “— crack and tell you everything.”

“En Max, hoe durf je me te beschuldigen van liegen!” And Max, how dare you accuse me of lying! Your voice came out as a low, calm growl. You take a deep breath, trying not to fucking combust on the spot.

Max is silent, but nods.

“Did you… did you… did you…have a panic attack? When you left?” He asks after a beat of silence, his eyes brimmed with tears. You know your brother isn't a crier, so this is hurting him just as much as it's hurting you. It’s gone too far.

"Yeah... I went straight to Lando's... I couldn't—" You shut your eyes, squeezing them together in an attempt to stop the tears. It's all become too much. It's all been blown way out of proportion.

You let your boyfriend and Max’s best friend get in the way of your relationship you have with your brother. The special bond you two had, has been damaged because of some stupid boy. You both were blinded, Max was blinded by his protectiveness of you and you were blinded by your loyalty to Lando.

You sigh, moving across the room to sit down next to him. You lay your head on his shoulder. “Why did you say I lied to you… I have never ever lied to you, Max.” Your voice was laced with pure hurt, your heart breaking from the beginning just thinking of Max accusing you of lying.

“I was just angry, Y/N. He promised to not hurt you and he did, he did hurt you and I was just so fucking angry, I could not believe you were defending him…”

Silence fell upon the room again, the only sound that could be heard was the rhythmic sniffling coming from you and Max. He laid his head against yours.

“Je leek zoveel op papa op dat moment. It was so scary, Max.” You looked so much like Dad in that moment. You let out a sob that you've been trying to suppress. Your brothers’ arm wraps around your shoulder's protectively.

“Het spijt me, Y/N, vergeef me alsjeblieft,” I am so sorry, Y/N, please forgive me. Max looks over to you, and all you can do is nod. It wouldn't help anyone if you just stayed angry, and you were exhausted anyways.

You just wanted things to go back to normal.

And slowly but surely they did, you had eventually moved back in with Lando, your relationship had slowly but surely gotten back to where it was, perhaps even better than it was. Max had been trying his best to not be overbearing, giving you space and trying not to play the role of an overprotective brother who gives his sister no freedom.

There was definitely still some tension between Max and Lando, Max still didn't fully trust him with you after everything, but things were different now. The public knew about your relationship now, girls no longer flung themselves at your boyfriend, touching him and feeling him up and down at every opportunity thinking he’s single. Lando had been working on proving himself, that he’s changed, that he's loyal to you and only you.

Things were different this time around.

Things have been good.

Things will get even better.

You can't wait to see what the future holds.

[thesweetnessofspring]

Let's talk about Katniss's first interactions with Peeta and Gale.

While Peeta knew who Katniss was (and had a childlike infatuation with her), she only recognizes him as a boy in her year, the baker's son. And in that interaction, no words are exchanged, only Peeta seeing Katniss is on the edge of death and getting a black eye for his scheme to get her bread, saving her life and her family. He prolongs her life and energy long enough for spring to come and for Katniss to remember the forest and the knowledge her father gave her. They never exchange words after, only looks from then out until the reaping.

Now I don't want to be harsh on Gale. He was fourteen and thrust into being the "man of the house" with his mother and three younger siblings to care for, and Katniss was doing at least okay for herself. Similar to Peeta, Katniss has also seen Gale around but doesn't know him, although she recognizes him from the medal ceremony for their fathers' deaths. We don't know if he recognized her, though, as a fellow fatherless kid. As she examines his traps, he accuses her of attempting to steal from him. His interest in her only turns when he learns she has bows and arrows, and knows how to shoot. Katniss describes them "grudgingly" sharing their knowledge, weapons, and kills until they are truly a team.

What Gale did was not bad. It makes sense given his trauma and all of his responsibilities and the mouths he has to feed. We would all most likely react the same way that he did if someone was supposedly stealing food from our hungry family.

But at the same time, I think this is why Peeta stood out to Katniss so much that she kept an eye on him and why she was so distraught he'd been reaped alongside her. With everyone else, from even Gale and the Hob to the Capitol and the rebellion, Peeta is the only one who has not asked Katniss for anything. Who didn't help her out only once she had proven herself to be useful to him or had something he could get from her. Peeta is even surprised when Katniss says she still owes him for the bread, he doesn't even think that such an act of sacrifice needs to be returned. We know he loves her and that was his motivation, and yet he doesn't use this as an opportunity to make a move or even befriend her. Once they do know each other, he never uses it as leverage or a way to try and convince Katniss to be with him, because it likely doesn't even cross his mind for her to factor that into her decision. And when his mind is so gone from the hijacking he's struggling to even remember why he loved Katniss in the first place, that first interaction is at the core of their love. It's the answer for everything.

In a world of survival, when someone's usefulness and their social status as deemed by the Capitol all contribute to someone being worthy of living, Peeta sees a poor, starving girl from the Seam and takes a beating to feed her not for her usefulness to him, but because he loves her just for being.

[moonliched]

Hello pretty

I remember you talked about the bad ending of 3th chapter where Moon would successfully lure Meryn under the water ( rip, very sad alternative universe, glad we are in the other timeline) what would happen if Meryn didn't survive the first encounter with Sun? If they didn't retrieve their breather? Would Sun realise sooner than Moon? Would they drown? If they did would Sun even realise? What would he do? Would he hide it from Moon? Or swimed searching, for him terrified with what happened? How would Moon feel? Would he blame himself for keeping Meryn a secret? After all maybe if he told Sun about them, that they are different, can't breathe like them, that wouldn't happen. What would Bon-Bon feel? I think it would hit him hard, not only his only friend is gone, but their last conversation was an argument. It really hit me how badly for everyone it could end if Meryn wasn't sneaky and smart.

Sorry for angst lol just curious after I read about Moon really drowning reader

Good thing they both know now <3

Also can Meryn digest more things than normal human can? Are they more resistant to food poisoning? Like could they eat raw meat without worrying about anything?

Also did Moon realise after some time ( for example after he bit reader ) how badly he hurt them during their first encounter? Rereading the fic I see by his standards and world view ( him having scales and thinking Meryn does too, therefore them being tougher) he handled them pretty well and softly you can say, considering situation they were in. But after learning how soft their scaleless skin is did he had the realisation moment? Like he is in his nest just thinking and bam, he realises how hurtful it had to be?

Love yaaa sorry for rambling

ehee hiii bby, kicks my feet <3

this turned out long so it's under the cut✂️

sadly Meryn would have absolutely drowned in that scenario😭 Sun had noticed enough to hear that any sounds they were making were coming from behind the breather, but he only realised its purpose after Meryn retrieved it from him in the fic.

in this alternate timeline, after they drown he might not entirely understand how they died - from his POV, they would have been fighting and struggling, then weakening, then limp and unconscious/drowned. maybe he'd consider the mask and put the dots together.

he would have tried to wake them up and failed. keeping them in the water runs the risk of other creatures eating the body, and he wouldn't want to bring a corpse back to the nest, so Sun would likely place them above water (plenty of air bubbles in this fic.) he would wait for Moon to return and gradually become more and more frantic and agitated, blaming himself and panicking. he'd check back on Meryn in the hopes that some miracle has revived them, and tug painfully at his head fins. he'd be too frightened to leave the warm environment.

around this time Moon is only returning home to rest and drop off supplies he has hunted, so Sun would have a hard time catching him. when he finally finds him, Sun would lead Moon to Meryn, hoping he can do something to fix this. he'd be babbling too hard for Moon to immediately understand what had happened, and Moon might even jump to conclusions that Meryn has done something dumb to scare his partner, and get annoyed with them. sneaking around, entering his home without asking - his human is so much trouble!

then he'd see the body and feel so much worse.

Moon would definitely blame himself for not communicating with Sun. he'd turn it around and around in his head, considering everything he could have done differently. he'd try to revive Meryn in any way he can, but eventually have to give it up. Sun would feel even worse - not only has he killed the first chance of outside contact they've had in a long time, but it's someone Moon has already formed a bond with. Moon would be tempted to keep the body, but ultimately the mers would return them to the platform. the decision would take a while.

BON-BON would react very badly. the body showing up would extinguish all hope that Meryn is somehow alive out there, waiting to be rescued. his friend is gone in exactly the way he always feared, and he would take it out on the team by manipulating the building and the robots. he would also become extremely aggressive and mistrustful of the mermaids, and utilise the facility's external machinery to scare them off if they ever return (e.g. the subs.) eventually, his behaviour would grow so abrasive and overt that he would be discovered as a sentient AI.

hope that was fun, a bit more angst for you :3c

Meryn is a mixed bag! they can eat some things regular humans can't, but also other things aren't suited for them - like dairy. they're a lil lactose intolerant, and the ice creams they feed Moon don't contain actual milk. they could absolutely eat raw meat, but they're intensely aware of how badly people react to that sort of thing😣 however, i don't know if that makes them less susceptible to food poisoning - since this is future sci fi fic, some of the food they eat is alien in origin, so there isn't a blanket answer on that :0

Moon is now aware that Meryn is softer and more fragile than a mermaid, and has gentled his actions to accommodate. biting them definitely kickstarted that realisation, and he felt bad after thinking over their past interactions later. buuuut he still doesn't fully understand, as of chapter 13. mermaids heal quicker than humans, and his bite has permanently scarred Meryn's shoulder. he hasn't had the opportunity to see that... yet :)

thank you for the big ask, mwah mwah mwah❤️❤️❤️ ppl like you make me feel so happy, you're thinking about my story and theorising! hugs u😋

[lovingbradshawafterdark]

Love for the game

Thomas Shelby x fem!Reader (Assassins Creed Au)

Summary: The Templars gave you the goal of seeing if Thomas Shelby is the assassin known as the rook. You didn't mean to fall in love and carry something within.

Warnings: betrayal, p in v sex, unprotected sex, blood mentions and blades, attempted assault. Pregnancy. Canon typical violence.

Word count: 1.3k

A/n: I haven't written anything in forever so I'm sorry if this is bad

Trying to trick Thomas Shelby was probably the worst decision you ever made. The pay from the templars, however, was something you needed to survive, they worked in secret and didn't make their presence known. The goal they gave to you was to see if Thomas Shelby and the other peaky blinders were a part of the brotherhood of assassins, the one known as Rook, who hid in the shadows.

You worked as a humble barmaid in the garrison, and it worked. You caught his eye all those nights ago. The simple things were told to you: a blade hidden under his clothes near his arm and a small brand on his finger. The only blades you saw were sewn into their caps and you couldn't find any brand, Yet here you were, pushed against a wall as he undressed you.

“I’ve been waitin' all fuckin day for this,” he groaned as he kissed your neck while you tried to drag him into the bedroom. He had warmed up to you quickly, not suspecting anything.

“Tommy~” you moaned before he pushed you onto the bed. His blue eyes watched you like you were only a small animal before he finally managed to get your dress down and reveal your nearly naked form.

“I’m going to fucking ravish you,” he growled while he straddled you. You let a small gasp before he gently grabbed your chin. “You’re beautiful.”

“Fuck me, Tommy,” you whispered as you freed him from his boxers. His hard cock is already twitching in your hand. “Hard day?”

“Yes,” he breathed while you pumped him, his throat tightening as you reached toward his face.

“Then be rough with me. Take what you need,” you say before bringing him down against your lips, his teeth nearly biting your lips. He groaned again before moving your hand away and pulling off your knickers.

“Oh, I’ll be rough with ya.” Thomas licked him before pushing against your entrance. Your body trembled. “I have the best cock, after all.” he didn't give you time to adjust before widely thrusting into you, the words that would fall from your mouth being reduced to ohs and ahs.

“Tommy, I'm gonna cum!” you slurred as he grunted while furiously fucking you in a way you hadn't seen before, like he was a wild animal. He barely gave you time to breathe before you came around him, your walls squeezing him harshly.

“Fuckin hell!” he hissed as his eyes rolled back and spilled inside you. He breathed and stayed inside you momentarily, only pulling out when you were too sensitive.

“I have something to tell you,” you breathe out after pure ecstasy. Tommy only smiled before looking down at your hand. You forgot to remove your ring—the ring the templars had given you.

“Where did you get that?” His tone shifted as he grabbed your wrist.

“W-what?” Your heart raced as he squeezed tighter. His blue-loving eyes filled with hatred.

“The ring…” his eyes narrowed and the Thomas Shelby they had warned you about came out.

“Tommy-” you tried to free yourself from his grip, yet he pushed you against the bed. You hyperventilated as you heard him grab something, a gauntlet that hid under his sleeve usually. You cringed as it unsheathed and was brought to your neck. Your throat filled with bile as he stared back at you with hatred you swore you'd catch on fire from his look alone, his eyes blue but felt as though they were red with anger. Yet he only held the blade to your throat, unable to do the act, your blood was the only thing to make him sick. You both were stuck there for several moments, your heart threatening to pound out of your chest.

“You’re an assassin…the rook…” your heart ached as you had pleaded he wasn’t one…wasn’t the man you were told to fear. The silly lies you told yourself were false. Every report you have from the Templsrs was false.

“Get out…OUT!” he yelled before letting you go as you started to cry. Thomas threw your clothes at you. “Templar whore!” he spat as he shoved you out of the room. The only thing covering you was your clothes in your hands. The comfort was the moon.

***

“She's working with the Templars. She had a ring,” Thomas spoke lightly as he smoked his cigarette. Polly listened as he tried to hold back his anger and hurt. “Probably ran off to London by now.”

“If she was working for the Templars and they found out about this relationship, they surely would hunt her down,” Polly said calmly as she poured them a drink.

“What?” Thomas looked hurt for a moment as fear rose inside him. While the Templars worked in secret he knew their practices.

“She came over here, said her goodbyes, and apologized…she begged for forgiveness.”

“Where is she?”

“In Templar custody,” Polly said, finally looking at him. “They are most likely going to torture and assault her.”

“No…” He shot up and ran out as he pulled up his good, ready to strike. The final piece to the puzzle was the rook, after all.

***

You were pulled out into the middle of an alley, your eyes already black and your face bruised slightly. The group threw you against the ground as they ripped the ring off your finger.

“Maybe we should purify you with our own seed…” one man said as he approached, already touching your skirt. You gasped before screaming and kicking as he tried to grab at you. You fought against more and more men before hearing the click of a gun.

“Fine…best hope you aren’t going to hell. The rook can’t save you now,” one said as they aimed it at the back of your head. You sobbed against the dirt as they fell to the ground, your once beautiful dress ruined, as you heard the gargle of blood in their throats. You curled up and waited for the painful death he would give you.

“Get up,” a voice behind you said, yet you wailed as you heard the footsteps come closer. Thomas had made his decision.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you pleaded as you sat up, looking behind you as Thomas stood. His eyes only being obscured by the hood covering his face. You stood to your feet and stumbled as you raised your hands.

“Turn around.” his voice was emotionless, hollow as you did what he said.

“Tommy, I’m sorry, please just-“

“You’re going to leave…and never come back here.” There was a tremor in his voice, making you look back at him.

“Thomas, I-“

“The templars will see you as a traitor, and even then, coppers will see you as a criminal,” he sighed and pulled his hood down, “and the assassins will too…both of them will try and kill you.”

“Tommy, please, I can’t leave!” You cry at him and hold his face, a small blood splatter on his cheek. The man whose eyes were once loving were now empty. “I can’t leave.” You rest your forehead against his and wait.

“You will do as I-“

“I’m pregnant…I’m pregnant,” you sobbed again and nearly fell to your knees, his arms holding you and mouth gaping out of shock.

“What?” he stumbled back with you as he tried to understand. You only sobbed and held onto him. “Did they-”

“No…I wouldn't let them,” you said softly as you hugged him, the moon shining down on you both. “I never wanted to hurt you…I never wanted to be with the Templars.”

“They will see you as a whore…I can't stop that it what they might do to you.” The softness in his voice made you shiver; it wasn't like him.

“I'm not leaving. The child needs a father,” you say, rubbing a thumb along his cheekbones.

“We’ll figure it out…we have to,” he said gently as he held you, the softness of his voice evident as he looked into the night sky.

[redfurrycat]

🤠🧩💕♾️🧩🐓Soulmates Fic Recs🐓🧩💕♾️🧩🤠

Check the Top Gun Masterlist post for the latest updated version. 💕

Ao3 Authors: 228am, Aiolia, Alecjbi, AnadoraBlack, Barnes_Brain, BethAnnAngel, Callsignvalley, Fadedseas, Ginnydear, Glitterfayy,  Haaaveyoumetted, Halestrom, Hangmanbradshaw, Haridwar, Icezansky, Lovelybattle, OfTheDirewolves, ReformedTsundere, Thegeckbros, ToukoJalorda003, Trinipedia, Un_familiar, Welcome_to_the_Badlands, Winterbucky, Writteninwaves, WWISA.

Life in Technicolor by AnadoraBlack {T}

“Hey Mav?” “Mmh?” They are sitting on the beach outside their house, feet buried in warm sand as they are watching the sun set. Bradley is leaning on his godfather’s shoulder, trying to imagine what it would be like to see something else than all the – admittedly lovely – shades of grey that make up his world. “When do you think I’ll get my colours?” Mav wraps an arm around his shoulders affectionately. “I only got mine when I was twenty-three, you know. You’ve got time, you’re only fourteen, kiddo…” The brown-haired teenager at his side shrugs again. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s anxious to know what it feels like. To get one’s colours. To find one’s soulmate.

it's your big scene, you know your lines by aiolia {M}

The anger came first. Lingered. Many years down the road, sorrow made itself a place inside Jake Seresin’s heart — and stayed. In a world where every lie you tell your soulmate shows up as a scar in their body, Jake Seresin is determined to never lie.

Even if the World Goes up in Smoke, I’ll Stand With You by ToukoJalorda003 {M}

All Hangman had ever wanted out of life was two things: to be a Top Gun pilot, and to find his soulmate. One of these is, apparently, much more attainable than the other. And it wasn’t the soulmate one. Rooster, on the other hand…well. He was really something else.

it made me think maybe human's not such a bad thing to be by un_familiar

you hang me up, unfinished (with the better part of me no longer mine) {M}

There are a million things standing between Jake Seresin and his soulmate–gender, Jake’s tendency to overthink and run his mouth, the fact that his soulmark is high up on his ribs, hidden, the bruises his dad leaves, but the biggest one is probably the simple fact that he has no idea how to love.

told me this was love {T}

“You could always wing it,” Jake suggests, not inclined to stop smiling in the least. “You probably know all those embarrassing stories by heart, anyways.” He only gets a fond huff and rolled eyes in response before Bradley starts pacing again.

When The Sky Falls by Welcome_to_the_Badlands {G}

“No one has called me that in a year and a half, and the one time someone did, he almost got a broken nose,” Bradley says, his face still buried in Jake’s chest. Jake sucks in a sharp breath but doesn't say anything. “No one has touched me in about that long either,” Bradley adds after a few seconds.

Rare by lovelybattle {E}

Bradley didn't think anything of all the different people he met that day. He couldn't even remember most of them. It was completely normal to meet people that you'd never see again in his line of work. What wasn't normal was the new bright red mark that he found on his arm when he got home. A soul mark.

In The Next Life by Barnes_Brain {E}

In 1972, Jake Seresin, a 30 year old Blue Angel, meets 26 year old Bradley Bradshaw, only son of the Governor of California. Jake thinks he’s a stuck up rich kid. The fact he’s attractive despite that hippie moustache, and snarky personality plays absolutely no bearing on his decision to risk his career, his life, his heart on this man he just met. Absolutely none. After feelings bloom and time grows short, Bradley reveals his biggest secret. Glioblastoma’s median survival time is 9 months from diagnosis to death. Some live longer, most live shorter, and Bradley’s known for three months. And as they fall Bradley gives Jake something he never thought he’d experience. True love. People always say that those who die young never have enough time, but maybe it’s how you use it instead?

obliterate me by fadedseas {T}

Jake Seresin comes from a long line of men that burn bright and fast, and flame out just as quickly. He knows that Bradley Bradshaw is his soulmate. He knows that he is destined to die young. He knows that Bradley Bradshaw is going to end up killing him one day. But Jake Seresin refuses to go quietly. Or a Cursed Soulmates AU in which all the men in Jake Seresin's family die young at the hands of their soulmates. And then Bradley's name appears on Jake's wrist.

The Ink On Our Hearts by trinipedia {T}

Bradley has waited all his life to meet his soulmate, who has been there for him during the worst and the best moments, but he'd have never expected where that person was going to come from. Jake knew his soulmate was going to be worth all the heartache he had to suffer. Now, if only he could find them. OR: When you turn eight, you get connected with your soulmate, and everything you draw on your skin appears on theirs, as long as it's not words.

Love and heartbreak walk a thin line by glitterfayy  {E}

Knowing you have a soulmate, a romantic soulmate, and wanting to know them were two different things, and Bradley was sure of one thing. Knowing only ended in heartache. Mav wonders if he's always destined be left behind. OR Soulmate AU when you turn 18 you get a compass that leads you to your soulmate. A story in 2 parts. First part covers Mav. Second Bradley and Jake.

tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow by alecjbi {T}

They said the woman in the woods would show herself only in someone’s darkest hour, when they needed her the most. If there was any time for it, Jake thought, it was now.

etymology of a soul by writteninwaves {T}

etymology   n. the study of the origin of words, how they got their meanings and how they change over time a study of souls, soulmates, friends you choose, family you find & all the ways souls can feel sorrow, break, and mend themselves back again. Bradley Bradshaw has two soulmates, one platonic and one romantic. However, it isn't that easy to find your loved ones when you have loss and grief following you everywhere. Based on & Inspired by Comin2U's Fic "You'd Say I Love You and How Proud", where Natasha is IceMav's long lost daughter.

it was only ever you by haridwar {E}

Different lives, different faces, different names and identities. Centuries of chasing. Those eyes, that soul, still inexplicably the same. It was both a blessing and a curse that Jake was the one forever burdened to remember first. or: soulmates au where they reunite once they've recovered memories from their past lives

feed your soul with love by ginnydear {T}

- this is the way to heal your wounds eight days in bradley and jakes life. 

Thunder in Their Hearts And Chaos in Their Bones by WWISA {G}

Jake picked up a sharpie, scribbled the words, and extended his wrist to his uncle, “I don’t think it’s that difficult. See? I came for you.” But Jake never knew the name of uncle Ted’s soulmate who never showed up. Just another lost Seresin soul, buried alone in the ground. Handing over all himself but was still left alone. He refused to have an ending like that.

I just wanna stay in that lavender haze. by haaaveyoumetted {G}

The color of your vision changes with your soulmate's mood

there's oceans between you and me (once again) by thegeckbros {E}

Bradley doesn’t really know when it ended. If he’s honest, he doesn’t know when it began, either. He and Jake are like the tides, pulling in and pushing out on an endless cycle with no discernible edge. Sure, there’s a pattern there, but Bradley can’t find it, can’t control it. Or maybe he can, but he doesn’t want to. If there’s an end to be found, he doesn’t want it. Even if that means he’ll be dragged out every time he’s pulled in. Or bradley's afraid of fate, and jake doesn't believe in it

knew you for a second (gone in flashing lights) by callsignvalley {M}

Hey Mustache! I heard that, his dad had striped across his collarbone, because subtlety was lost on him while talking about the beautiful blonde across the bar. Bradley used to color around his mom’s mark that swirled on her wrist, you were supposed to, with washable markers when he was a kid, while she recounted how Goose had taken a full thirty seconds to stop gaping like a fish at hearing his own words before managing to respond.

it's 2am and i'm cursing your name by hangmanbradshaw {E}

“Yeah, but you know him better than anyone, right? You could give me advice.” He raised an eyebrow. “I know I’m not an expert on romance or whatever, but if he’s your true love, shouldn’t you just, I don’t know, be yourself?” “You gotta help me. I don’t want to be stuck as a rooster forever. Please.” The final please broke him. He looked so sad, voice clearly miserable and desperate. Jake took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and mumbled. “I’m going to regret this.” He opened his eyes and said louder, “Fine. Alright.” Or Rooster's a rooster, and Jake definitely isn't his soulmate aka the Hangster Princess & the Frog AU (with a twist) After all, all it takes is faith, trust, and a little bit of pixie dust (or in this case, bickering, helping the guy you're in love with land another prince, and a meddling warlock)

the stars align (just one time) by OfTheDirewolves {M}

In one world a prince fell in love with a lord but the world was cruel and they were robbed of the time they deserved... In another two pilots meet at top gun but it will take them too long to fully understand what they mean to each other. or Jake and Bradley fall in love over multiple lifetimes, will they finally get it right? or will they keep getting in their own way? A Bradley Bradshaw x Jake Seresin Reincarnation AU

Talk to Me by ReformedTsundere {T}

When Bradley crashes, the voice in his head refuses to let him give up.

hand in unlovable hand by 228am {E}

Rooster scoffs, “You’re a lot of things, Seresin, but you’re not stupid.” He crosses both arms over his chest. After a moment, he speaks again, “We’re soul—” Jake interrupts icily, “Don’t fucking say it.” or, Jake and Bradley are soul bonded and Jake is handling it super normally.

All My Friends Say by BethAnnAngel {G}

In a world that’s monochromatic until you find your soulmate, Bradley wakes up to a world full of color and a terrible hangover.

What You Need to Know About Cupids by icezansky {G}

According to the Fates, one “Jake Seresin” and one “Bradley Bradshaw” are destined to love one another. They just need a little intervention in the form of a Cupid to seal the bond.

fight worth winning by winterbucky {M}

In a world where your soulmate's last words are written on your body, they all try to find beauty in tragedy. Bradley, marked with his soulmate's stubbornness and desperation is already halfway in love with them, even without knowing them. It just so happens that a certain blonde pilot, as gorgeous as he is infuriating, captures his attention too. Laying dying on the ground, Bradley isn't ready to accept death. It's just lucky that his soulmate isn't either. or soulmate au: last words, but with no mcd. instead there's asshole in love, vampires, and stubborn jake. of course

I've Got You Under My Skin by ReformedTsundere {T}

It was like getting hit in the face with the door of his locker but worse, and Jake had fallen to the sidewalk in a heap, arm aching something fierce and lines across his cheek and chin stinging hot. He hadn't realized he was crying until Mrs. Walker, two doors down from his own, had found him with a startled gasp and helped him up, wiping his face with the edge of her blouse. "Oh honey," she'd said, and Jake hadn't understood her pitying tone, still confused at what the hell had hit him when all the spontaneous pains settled down to a strange thrumming, less sharp but still notable, and he'd realized. A pain echo. His soulmate.

Part-Time Soulmate by halestrom {M}

In a world where your soulmate's initials are written over your heart, the last thing Bradley ever expected was to find out after almost a decade of decade of arguments and not-so-friendly competition was that Hangman was his soulmate. It was fine. Really. He was totally fine with it. They could figure it out. Really. It would be fine. Totally fine.

[anonzentimes]

last asker here wahoo weehee but yeah i dont mind the ramble !!! honestly i do feel a little similar sometimes ourgh . maybe not with being in specific fandoms but especially when it comes to like . the smaller things like self inserts . the like

but anyway !!!!!! now im curious and im not too sure if you've answered anything of the sort before but i do wonder what you thought of the difference in characterization with Nagito in the games and in the anime?

not that nagito in the games r even one for one the same- same goes for the anime-

but i do know there's a difference , and i've heard so many differing opinions on how Nagito's potrayed in both, especially discussion on how faithful Nagito in danganronpa 3's character is to danganronpa 2, so i'll admit now im very interested on hearing your thoughts on him when looking at game nagito and anime nagito side by side eyes emoji

YAYY!!!!! I love getting asked to talk about him it's so fun!!! No one has actually asked this before, and I've been planning to do something on this for a bit!

Personally I think anime Nagito is actually really good! Although I think side lining him for a little bit was a weird decision, even if I understand why. But enough of that! Let's talk more about his characterization! I'll talk about what I think about Nagito's characterization in the anime and some annoyances I have with the misinterpretations!

I will admit that some of the fandom's opinions on, "Anime Nagito vs Game Nagito," kind of bother be because a lot of it stems from people not understanding his character in it's entirety in the first place.

The thing about Nagito is that he works as an amazing antagonist because he isn't ill intentioned and is just mentally screwed up. In the killing game his coping mechanisms and absolute beliefs are on display and he is at his worst, he's practically having multiple mental breakdowns and losing it. And his beliefs and coping mechanisms happen to be morally gray because he believes Anything is okay if it's for hope. With his luck cycle, coping mechanisms, and absolute beliefs that stem from both of these things we get Nagito. And when you place Nagito who thinks being trapped on the island forever without the ultimates impacting the world in any way is worse than one person surviving and making an impact on the world, he feels like he has to do something.

Basically, how Nagito acts in the anime and before the first trial is who he is when he's not mentally crumbling and I get really irritated when people try to say that in the game he was a "malicious psychopath" but in the anime he turned into "baby boy" like, just, GRRRAGHHH!!!!! IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE NEEDS TO BE GATEKEPT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!! THEY'RE MISUNDERSTANDING HIM SO BAD IT HURTS ☹️☹️☹️

I believe the anime's characterization is pretty great and still keeps in tact his absolute beliefs that lead him to do morally gray things for the sake of hope! I think he's very well done characterization wise in the anime. I liked the episode where he ends up blowing up the gym because he wants to postpone the test for his classmates it made a lot sense with how he thinks and his luck cycle! I also really love his encounter with Junko and Izuru. He says several good lines in the anime that are accurate and completely in character for him, and I love it!

I think the addition that the class thought he was weird even before he was at his worst and didn't show much reciprocation is sad and adds to his tragic life. The fact that he isn't surprised when Chisa slaps him, but rather when he is shown affection gets me dude!!!

I think it is sweet though that, his time at hope's peak is probably one of the best experiences he had until everything went wrong. He isn't shown much reciprocation but he genuinely cares for his classmates beyond them being ultimates from hanging out and knowing them so long. He has some reciprocation from Chisa and the other classmates somewhat care about him to varying degrees. I believe his overall luck cycle went, get accepted into hope's peak, good luck, gets diagnosed, bad luck, gains people he cares about in his life and some who care about him too, good luck, all of them become despairs, bad luck!

The other thing I wanted to touch upon is Bryce Pappenbrook listening to criticism about how Nagito sounds more sarcastic than intended. For a lot of the english fanbase the misinterpretation that Nagito's not honest is beyond repair especially since he's hard to understand, but I really do appreciate the effort to change it slightly. Even if people who misunderstood think there's a huge difference or even retcon with his character, I think it's a nice change that he sounds more genuine like his Japanese voice in the anime.

I think the real difference with him in the Anime versus Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 2 is his role in the story. I think he's very in character, we just don't see him having meltdowns and go through his self unaware freak outs. We still see him do morally gray things and impact the plot though! In the anime he's doing better compared to the spiraling we see in Danganronpa 2 and rock bottom even more extreme beliefs we see in Udg.

Also I think the anime solidifying the fact that Nagito usually doesn't go out of his way for the ultimate's attention because he thinks he's unworthy of their time actually makes Danganronpa 2 more impactful. Because, if he doesn't try to seek the ultimates attention, then that's further solidifying the fact Nagito was interested in Hajime, he felt a connection with him even when they first met. We see him do the opposite of what he usually would just because of Hajime, and I think that's really sweet.

Nagito barely mentioning hope in Danganronpa 2's prologue is for the plot twist mostly, however, there could be multiple actual reasons for it. My interpretation is that it's because he wanted to make a good impression so he focuses on that instead, that combined with it not really coming up leads to them not really knowing what he thinks. There are hints of it and he's not purposely "hiding it" at all. Nagito is an honest person who only lies when he feels it's necessary, to further prove that point when he gets the despair disease, personality inverting disease, he gets the Lying disease.

Nagito in the prologue and in the anime are the same because he's not losing it yet, the only difference is Nagito talks slightly less about hope and his beliefs because It's not very relevant, he's trying to make a good impression, and he's focusing on keeping Hajime's attention. My favorite little thing supporting this is that he doesn't complain about going swimming. In the Dangan Island events we see him worry about it, but when he's focusing on everything else he didn't really think about it. He asks what Hajime is planning to do instead.

In conclusion, I believe Nagito in the anime is pretty good. He serves his role well for it not being his usual one, info about what he was like adds a little more to Danganronpa 2 analyzing it, and it's nice that we get to see more of him when he's not at his worst. He's still absolutely the same person and I think his characterization is really good. I think they could have utilized him more or made him relevant to the plot sooner if they wanted, but I think the impact and scenes that he has still are great and work well since he, again, doesn't have his usual role in the anime.

One last thing while I'm here talking about the anime's Nagito, a lot of people like to make the joke that he's "hopesexual" because of the one fan service line of dialogue in Danganronpa 3 where he basically says, "Hope feels amazing," and I just. URAGGHHH!!!!!!!! I'm sorry but if someone unironically says "hopesexual" I hope that their pillow always remains warm on both sides because saying it Is ANNOYINGG!!! It's so easy to get I don't know why people do this, and I know I'm being a little over the top but it just bugs me sooo bad Like,

Hope = Absolute Good/Euphoric Feeling for him, Horny = Euphoric Feeling for him, CONCLUSION: GENERAL EUPHORIA DESCRIPTOR!! He doesn't have a hope kink and the people who make those jokes are weird especially since it's straight up wrong!! I know it's just a joke, but it still gets on my nerves regardless because some people take it seriously. Even one of his songs uses this comparison by allegorizing hope with sexual desires, conveying that both are euphoric emotions for him! >:(

Anyways!

Thank you for your ask and Hopefully I successfully got all of the points I wanted to across! <3

[haliteatiger]

This my "Tav", Silence. I'm still sorta working out her background details, but for now it's safe to say she's had it pretty rough.

Check below the cut for a lot of rambling and pointless, self-indulgent headcanons.

Her name comes from the fact that she didn't speak for the first few years of her life, instead learning to play the violin and communicating through her art. Someone started calling her "Little Silence" and it just sort of stuck. She didn't know her parents, but was adopted by a noble who saw her as a unique "pet" given her unusual appearance - even for a tiefling - and her musical and artistic talents.

Unfortunately, the guy was bad with money, and ended up gambling away a good portion of whatever Silence earned, in the end becoming desperate enough to try and auction off her virginity when she came of age. Silence, obviously, was not going to stand for this, and managed to escape - possibly killing the man who bought her in the process, she wasn't sure and frankly doesn't care.

With only her violin and a precious few belongings in tow, Silence made her way to Baldur's Gate and was eventually found by a gang of performers and thieves (that I have yet to come up with a name for) where she learned ways on how to survive on the streets and defend herself with her art. Now in her late 20s, and poised to set out on her own due to some complications within her social circle, she was taken aboard the Nautiloid.

There are two sides to Silence - one is kind of quiet, observant, and sensitive. She has a way of simply blending into the background if she doesn't want to be observed (she's good at Stealthing, I guess), and the other is her more or less "bard persona", which is outgoing and charismatic. Contrary to her name, Silence can be quite talkative when the mood strikes her. It's usually when she becomes angry, flustered, or anxious where she seems to forget words entirely and has a hard time articulating herself, which has led into some dramatic situations when she lashes out more physically.

Overall, she's easygoing, and tries very hard not to let her emotions get in the way of her making decisions, and so often comes off as more pragmatic than anything. She's also pretty accepting of those around her even if she is, in actuality, slow to trust. I guess you could say she's highly manipulative as a defence mechanism. So it's not that she lies to people, per se, but she can come off as liking someone more than she does if only to deflect harm from herself. She is not a people-pleaser, however, and has very defined boundaries in terms of how far she's willing to concede to someone, especially a stranger. She's excellent at reading people (most of the time), acts more confident than she seems, knows a little about a lot of topics, and is always eager to learn more. She can be impulsive and rude without meaning to, and has something of a sarcastic and dry sense of humor that always seems almost prepared in advance whenever she snaps back at someone. Her charisma and wit often seem to leave others with the mistaken impression that she knows what she's doing in any given situation, and thus has often been beset with expectations she's sure she's more often than not fallen short of. Somehow, people just seem to think she's the most competent one in the room because she talks a good talk. Due to her dual upbringing, she is capable of blending in with high society as well as she does low. Silence will generally act within her own best interests or those of her friends, but it doesn't really take much to persuade her to do the right thing.

A good example would be when she and the gang arrive at the druid hold and is asked to help the tieflings. Initially she denies getting involved until mocked by Astarion for "turning her back on the needy", at which point, just to annoy him, agrees to help. (Although, when pressed she admits she mostly did it because she realized they needed some things in the area anyway and helping them could be beneficial to their cause). She can have kind of an impish sense of humor and while she doesn't like to see others get hurt, probably does take more pleasure in watching her enemies die writhing in agony than she'd care to admit.

Random fun fact: Silence is a feral tiefling, and her tail is supposed to be reminiscent of a heraldic unicorn's or lion's tail. She often carries it with a curl or S shape as she has a somewhat chronic fear of it being stepped on or pulled. She also has cat-like eyes (that I've had to mod in, but really wish Larian would include them naturally in the game because why not??? Same with more variations in tails...)

Other fun fact is that Silence has a Secret Power in which she's capable of using her tadpole to influence those around her when she plays a song infused with a particular strong emotion. Unfortunately, she cannot replicate the song later, at least not in the same way or with the same impact as when she played it. This generally acts like an empathic attack on those who can see and hear her, impressing upon them the emotion she's attempting to convey through song which can manifest in the audience's minds as how she imagines it - so a full orchestra if that's what she's hearing in her head. As one can imagine, the situations in which this is actually useful are few and far between, as it would require the proper conditions and emotional preparation for it to be effective, although I like to imagine she has used it a few times on a smaller scale to calm tensions in the group when camping some nights.

Relationships with the other NPCs:

Lae'zel - Admires her strength, but is suspicious of her motivations mostly because she seems more than capable of finding this creche by herself, but instead wants to drag the rest of them along with her. Either she's hiding an altruistic side to her or something else is going on. Silence tolerates Lae'zel's nasty attitude, but also can't help but find her and her people's culture fascinating. She often tries to overlook the Gith's biting tongue in order to inquire more about it. It's a mystery to Silence what Lae'zel truly thinks of her, but it's probably nothing good (even if she seems to get bonus points every time she shows an interest in her people.) About the only time she gets anything resembling a compliment from her is when she agrees with her about the use of their tadpole or if she does something worth being commended for in battle. Otherwise, Lae'zel doesn't seem to be terribly fond of Silence's violin playing as the high-pitched tones seem to bother her.

Gale - Gale and her get along famously, and, next to Wyll, finds him probably one of the easiest to talk to in the group. They both share a great interest in magic and, at times, a similar sense of humor (which is to say she's about as bad at puns as he is). They're both well-travelled and well-educated, and if she doesn't know or understand something magic-related, she's quick to ask Gale for guidance, and enjoys seeing him in his element. Gale seems fond of her wit, open-mindedness, and appreciation and interest she takes in the world around her and those that live in it. She seems to have a genuine interest and appreciation for everyone in the group and admires her dedication to watching their backs, even if it's obvious she doesn't entirely trust any of them. He likes that she seems to know a surprising amount about wizardry despite not being one herself - at least enough to ask advanced questions about things that he might consider to be outside the interest of most bards, as well as the fact that she isn't easily fazed by things that would turn most people's stomachs or make them balk in disbelief. As could be evidenced by her rather extensive anatomy studies on the bodies of their fallen enemies ("It's free art references!")

Admittedly, Silence was a bit shocked and uncomfortable to learn about Gale's history and his need to consume magic artifacts, but as he seems sincere in his efforts to keep it under control, chooses not to worry about it and does what she can to support him, which he greatly appreciates. There's still that little nagging voice in the back of her mind, however, even if he's friendly enough to get her to forget that at times. She has to remind herself on occasion that she doesn't really know him.

Shadowheart - Shadowheart and her also get along very well, even if they're both somewhat guarded around each other still, and Shadowheart, when not in the right mood, can be very difficult to talk to just in general. But, it's Silence who is first to lower her defenses, and speak to the Shar acolyte candidly. Silence finds the two of them have a lot in common in terms of how they approach most situations - pragmatic but always erring to self-preservation or that of the group's. Shadowheart seems to appreciate Silence's amicability, willingness to compromise, and respects that, even though she is friendly, she isn't naive about it. It also helps that Silence doesn't seem to have a problem with her being a worshipper of Shar and respects her desire for privacy even without being prompted. Silence appreciates how much of a team player Shadowheart really is, with her main interests usually centring around maintaining the group and essentially keeping everyone content enough not to turn on one another.

Astarion - Even though she enjoys picking on him from time to time, it's almost always in a way that he can also appreciate. She finds it more fun when the other person is in on the joke as well. This can and does include flirting, but thus far, she's made it pretty clear that she perceives it as simply something to laugh about (even if he might be absolutely serious about it). Unfortunately, at least initially, she also finds Astarion to be one of the hardest to read among the group, and picking on him isn't something she started doing until she knew where his boundaries lay. Up until then, she approached him delicately, allowing him to lead the conversations and learning what she could along the way, which, fortunately, he seems more than happy to do. As a result, he takes her quite a bit longer to translate than the rest, and doesn't feel entirely comfortable around him for a long time to come, really only engaging with him whenever he wishes to engage with her. As a result, the vampire tends to find Silence the most comfortable and trustworthy one of the group even if she seems careful enough not to let him get too close. He's likely the first to notice how little Silence voluntarily shares about herself, often distracting the others with reassurances, compliments, and asking questions she thinks they would enjoy answering.

Despite this he appreciates that she's easygoing and down-to-earth, while still having a good sense of humor and seems to know when to take something seriously, and, while at times seemingly easily impressed with the world around her (like he's one to talk), also seems to accept it for what it is and adapts accordingly.

In actuality, Astarion has about as much trouble reading her as she does him, as he's found it impossible to tell if she's genuine in her compliments and expressing interest in others around her. She certainly seems to have a gift for getting people to trust her. She's good at taking control of conversations and deflecting away from topics she doesn't want to talk about in the least offensive way possible, and he's made the mistake of reading her sincerity as naivety. She intrigues him as almost every time he thinks he has her figured out, she does or says something unexpected, or contrary to what he would assume about her, and he's not even sure if she's doing it on purpose. It's possibly a matter of them being out of step with one another, being of differing natures, even if he gets on better with her than he has anyone else in recent memory (insofar as we know about his story at least).

About the only things that get on his nerves at times is that she's maybe a little too soft, and a little too cautious and prone to overthinking than is good for her, mostly because it ends up involving dragging them into doing something boring or "unproductive" (not to their overall benefit). Never mind that she's encouraged him to wait in camp or go on without them if he has a problem with their decisions. It also bugs him that, even if she sees the merit in using the tadpoles, she's on board with the others that it isn't safe to do so until they know exactly what it is they're dealing with. Rather by accident, it would seem, Astarion finds himself liking her more than he realizes, especially after his condition comes to light and, lo and behold, she's not only okay with it, she wants to know everything about it and how they can use it to their benefit, even if she doesn't seem to be too terribly keen on being fed off of, as long as he can sate himself with bandits and ne'er-do-wells, she's off the hook insofar as she's concerned... for now, and has basically told him that she's his "emergency supply" if circumstances require it.

Despite all this, Silence is still vigilant, and while she trusts him with certain things, doesn't trust him completely, and knows full well the lengths to which his type is willing to go to cover their attempts at taking advantage of a situation.

[hamliet]

How does "AFO gave Tenko Decay" theory being confirmed takes away from Tomura's agency? I'm just trying to understand your point of view. Of course, AFO is saying that none of the decisions Tomura made were his own, but that's simply an exaggeration of what we already knew. We already knew that AFO groomed him and that he was the reason Tenko saw the world in a certain way and why killing was a normal thing to him. And we knew that AFO expected Tomura to wish for more power. So what changed? AFO didn't make people on the streets ignore Tenko, didn't manipulate heroes into not seeing villains as people, and he didn't manipulate Tomura into wanting to destroy everything instead of becoming the new king of the underworld. Tomura made the decision to kill all heroes and destroy Japan. AFO being the one who created Tomura, which we already knew for years, doesn't really take away from the fact that it was Tomura who hurt and killed all those people. And if it does somehow take away from his villainy and the fact that he was the one who decided that he wanted to lash out at the world, shouldn't have people complained about this years prior to this? Because AFO being the main reason for Tomura being a villain was made obvious a very long time ago.

Same person as in the ask about Tomura's villainy not being taken away from. Forgot to add, but we have characters that did bad things and did mean them but are still should be treated as people - Dabi and Toga. None of their agency was taken away. Dabi chose to kill people fully aware, no agency being taken away here. Same with Toga. AFO never was their behind their villainy, he's only the reason why Touya survived. AFO is being sympathised with - through Yoichi. Who is the only one who was genuinelly upset seeing his brother die, and who is the only person AFO ever actually loved in his own way. The only person all of this OFA hunt and vessel-raising was done for, from AFO's perspective. Redemption, atonement and salvation are something one has to want, it's a choice someone has to make. He is treated as this Evil because AFO had all the opportunities to change and never took them. He can't trust people because it would mean giving away something from himself. He is someone who got stuck with emotional maturity of a toddler and could never make the right choice - and it's not his fault. The narration from his backstory is very much sympathetic too.

You're welcome to disagree with me, Anon. But the irony is that you're stating exactly my problem with it: that it's

simply an exaggeration of what we already knew.

Although I'd argue it's more like shooting a spider in terms of exaggeration. Like, there's escalation, and then there's "are you okay" levels of exaggeration. And when you have an exaggeration to this level, you better have a good reason for it. That spider had better be hoping to end the world. But here... that's not the case.

My main point is that: if it doesn't add anything to a story, it shouldn't be there. Yeah, that's harsh, and enjoyment is something added, etc. But, at its most stringent, a plot twist must add something to the story--to its meaning, to illuminate the past chapters, etc. This doesn't do that, which you're kind of even pointing out yourself. And it's such a big reveal, given a horror factor, that it doesn't work to just ignore it either.

I think AFO literally orchestrating Tenko's BIRTH is like... so out of the realm of "grooming." It's into the realm of "defies reasonability and is almost laughable." It's not a parallel or commentary on real life society with subtext, which BNHA has tried to maintain for a long time. Instead it's like... it's such an escalation that it shatters immersion.

What does this add to the narrative? Honestly, it adds nothing that we didn't already know and makes what we already knew "oh wait not actually the most important part," and hence it's not a good reveal.

Like, it wasn't foreshadowed. Was anyone thinking that AFO had orchestrated Shigaraki's birth? It wasn't really implied at all. The quirk thing was implied, but this is just... a dramatic escalation.

It adds nothing in a subtext sense either. Predators irl seek out children who are vulnerable. They don't orchestrate literally everything from creating their very existence by urging their parents to have kids.

The funny thing is that I'm not actually opposed in theory. But in execution, it's bad. See, as much as I'm saying "this is ridiculous," it's because the story as set up didn't set this up.

It could work much better as commentary on social realities like the Todoroki quirk marriage. However, as is, it's nonsensical given that we know AFO was looking at other kids as possibilities. So it also has a whiff of retcon. Again, it could have worked if the story had played more into the god complex or hinted that Kotaro was being manipulated or whatnot. But BNHA hasn't done either of those things. So again I ask, why?

Thematically, one of my favorite aspects of BNHA is society's nuanced flaws. Yes, the flaws that hurt Shig all still happened. Tenko was still ignored. So if society is a problem, then why does Horikoshi need to portray one geriatric dude with a weird interest in strangers' sex lives as the entire reason Shigaraki even exists? Does this add to that theme? It does not.

It adds nothing beyond making it a moral necessity to save Shigaraki.

We also don't have any hint that we're not to take it at face value or to think it's a distortion; Deku isn't challenging him on this. It'd be easy to throw something like that in there, but it's not there.

Anyways, this is my opinion. You're welcome to disagree, and like I said, I'm still cheering for Shigaraki.

[lexa-kom-skaikru]

There is exactly ONE "person" to blame for Warrior Nun's cancelation and one alone: Netflix.

I have seen some people try to blame the fans who watched the show because, apparently, we didn't watch it hard enough. So I need y'all to repeat with me "Fans are NOT at fault!".

It is not a fans job to sell their soul to the devil and give up their lives in order to stream over and over a TV Show for a VERY slim chance of renewal.

Fans are the ones who gave this show a sliver of a fighting chance and I will not have anyone try to bring our efforts down. It doesn't matter if you spent your every waking moment rewatching Warrior Nun or if you just watched it once.

Your views, your participation in the fandom and your love for the show are appreciated, and no one has the right to demand more from you. You helped in whatever way you could with the amount of investment you could spare. And that was enough.

So, thank you for that!

Now, the real problem here is Netflix. They're the ones not doing shit, no promo no nothing, for the show and then act surprised and cancel the show when it doesn't produce the numbers they want. They have one parameter for cancelation and that's numbers without looking at anything else that might be a good indicator for renewal, such as:

The increased social media engagement from season 1 to season 2;

The crazy amount of views comparatively to the zero promotion the show got and during release of other highly competitive TV Shows;

The cheap ass budget the show is already on which makes it a low maintenance show to keep caring on;

The significant impact this show has had on the LGBT community (and yes, this IS a big factor that should be taken into consideration);

And finally, what makes this cancelation such a damn bad decision from a business standpoint, the Fandom backlash that comes with the cancelation of yet another LGBT show.

This final point is extra important because their recent track record with cancelation of mainly "lesbian" shows has been giving Netflix a very bad reputation and the backlash bubble has been growing and growing with each cancelation and this might just be the last straw.

So, the full fault here lies with Netflix and I want your anger directed at them. Not at the fans that helped give this show a chance of survival.