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unhappytimeleaper · 1 year

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Hello, may I request Q, T, and Y with Kuro x reader? Thank you and have a wonderful day. 💟

requested by anonymous

Word Count: 3,150+

I love Kuro. It was a while ago on a chat, but I realized I kinda have a type for delinquents. Oops. This mainly doesn’t go too much into the actions that make him a yan, I do touch on it occasionally or try to slip some of it in there, but I didn’t want to get too off-topic from the letters which meant I had to leave a lot of it out. Also, I wrote half of this 7 months ago and the rest today, so I’m sorry if it’s a little disjointed.

Also, I finally gave in and watched up to part 5 of Jojo, and I have… feelings. My poor friends are being subjected to all of them,, and someone should come to save them. TLDR for those curious, but I did not care for part 3, parts 1 & 2 were decent, I love part 4, from the art style to the characters, and part 5 I adore the characters, but I’m weak to character deaths :(. Maybe with time, I’ll possibly add them to my list but no hopes. Anyway, Kuro.

Kuro Kiryu; Unedited. Gender Neutral Reader.

Warnings; yandere content, mentions of potential threats, alludes to minor manipulation, self-isolating, and simple fights. Nothing is in detail nor is there truly anything bad but as always it is yandere.

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

This would vary on if you leave or die rather than escape as he is also one where a lot of the relationship borders on unhealthy. It mainly is because Kiryu has some self-awareness to where things run too far but gets lost in the minor details. His delinquent past might affect some of his actions, but it's not as of he's one to ever use physical harm against you to get you to obey. He tends to focus more on voicing opinions. While he rarely might force you to not interact with others [generally completely strangers rather than friends or family unless he has proof they are bad news], there is a self-imposed guilt you feel when doing so, causing you to avoid others. Unlike others who force rules, and force isolation, Kiryu doesn't make it, so there ever is something you need to escape from. This would be unlike Eichi or Shu, for example. Even being yandere, it’s likely that with Kuro, the relationship develops naturally– or at least appears that way to an extreme extent that there never was some sort of reason to fear Kiryu in the form of genuine escape.

Leaving might be the most common reason or situation the two of you might face. Various reasons; thinking you need to experience life outside of a relationship, becoming tired of the relationship, dating an idol being too stressful, realizing you and Kiryu just don't connect past a honeymoon phase, etc. There are many reasons why you might want to break up, not wholly reliant on his yandere behaviors, but regardless of what it is related to, he often will have the same reaction.

No. Okay, maybe it comes off scarier than he intends when said like that, but Kiryu means, no, we can work this out. You know he's not attempting to come off as scary. He has never been in the relationship, and more so, his fear factor comes from how he traditionally is himself. Kiryu rarely even goes out of his way to threaten others to avoid you; the way he talks and carries himself does that for him unless he can find some valid excuse that even you can’t deny being a good option. Kuro also has never had a past of lying to you when he says he didn't threaten them or did something— it really was the others who picked to act that way post their conversation– although it’s hard to say for sure if there truly was never any violence or threats under his actions. However, no reason to doubt him is still no reason to use it in a breakup. It's not to say that he isn’t aware of his fear factor and thinks of it as a benefit in these situations, but honestly, he tries extremely hard not to do anything bad. He's changed from the delinquent days anyway when he would have quickly jumped to use violence to get them to stay away from you. Really, he doesn't want to do anything to tarnish his new reputation to you, nor have his actions come back and likely affect his sister or career. Leaving him becomes a lot more difficult because while he isn't necessarily the smartest at problem-solving or convincing you to stay as others might be, he tries. He tries so hard that it's impossible to stand your ground firmly. He works to make it so you can compromise [in his favor] to stay with him. Or a break up isn't really a break up— yeah, you've agreed to label it as a break, but this only if it's clear you don't want to date anyone else. Kiryu, even in this situation, hovers around more; not quite a relationship way that you feel you need to tell him to back off, but enough that it feels you're always on the brink of appearing still together. You can blame it on ES, for such a large building; it seems everyone is always wrapped up with each other in some way, although all of it is still profoundly intentional in Kiryu’s actions to stay near. If it is the route of still dating with compromises, these can vary but rarely will it alter or break aspects of his yandere traits as most of these result from his stoic, straightforward, and scary appearance. It's more working on adding things into the relationship to keep you more excited or understanding while a honeymoon phase is over; there are still think you can do together/have in common. Just cause one stage ends doesn't mean to give up; it means working to enjoy the next phase too. So ever really leaving is quite tricky because Kiryu's directness just results in a rebuff of finding reasons to stay, even if it gets to the point staying is just easier than leaving. There even is sometimes a sinking fear that you’d be throwing away the best partner you might ever get because of his personality over this. What if there really never would be anything better? Would you have to come crawling back to him begging for another chance– it’s entirely self-inflicted, but a tiny part of your mind would have to eat away at the possibility.

If you do manage to break up unless you are leaving the country as a whole, where it is hard to avoid Kiryu even if it's clear the relationship is over. Most of his actions feel like he's trying to win you back, such as cooking your meals or asking to spend time with you while he works on a sewing project. It's often weird, but his ability to be direct can make him easily be able to pass it off as being over you. These are just him, well, being him. Even in ways other idols can verify this is just his personality, even if he is being that awkwardly kind self. Under the surface, you know it's more than that… but there is no proof, the uneasiness no one else can understand. Though it's not misplaced, Kiryu's kindness might appear as just his standard attempt to make amends for his past as a delinquent, but everything he does is his goal of making you regret ending the relationship. That maybe you'll fall back in love with him, or you'll come crawling back, calling it a mistake. It’s undeniable that even with his jealousy and misplace tendencies he’s a wonderful partner, brother, and teammate. Kiryu deep down is still a good person fighting against his past and urges– and it’s hard to find someone who would likely treat you as good. Post breakup you’d likely fall back into seeing only happy couples too, it all sinking in just like you feared that even though you have so much life left to live you just tossed aside the best person you could have been with. Perhaps all that anxiety and weird feelings you were getting was from something else– your mind making all sorts of excuses to convince you to just text him those simple words. “Let’s get back together.”

Also all of this is his way of hovering to ensure no one else can pursue or harm you. Kiryu is well aware that even if he's changed from his past, others might hold grudges, and much like how he feared that might impact his sister, he knows that if it got out you were his ex, there is always a chance they might you use against him. Or there might be jealous fans— both upset you hurt him by breaking up or upset that you had the opportunity to date him. There is no telling what might happen, and he might not directly admit these reasons to you as it could become a bigger fight, thus harming the chance of ever getting back together.

Would he move on? If you're around, no. There is always a lingering chance, and if he is around just the same, you’ll unlikely be able to meet someone new. Okay, well, if you were gone completely… maybe. Just like how Kiryu has changed from his former delinquent lifestyle, he also knows there is a point in growing and changing in other ways. Not to say his yandere tendencies heal from this, but he knows it's unfair for him to forever pine after you when you are entirely gone living away from him. It doesn't happen quickly, he locked his heart away for years after this loss, and it's easy to tell even to others he becomes even more reserved [something most won't think was possible, but you proved them wrong]. He might become more snappy with subjects and reject many other forms of care, such as friendships. But in five years… ten years… things might change, and some of that ice might melt again, allowing him to try again. However, the second you show up once again he would be ready to start anew.

Furthermore, if you were to pass away either while dating or post-break-up, where you are still around, the answer is no. Kiryu will have believed that he was lucky enough to have met his soulmate so young, and unfair it might be he doesn't deserve a third chance. His personality is the same as if you were to move away forever; colder, and that stoic nature becomes bitter and quick to tell others off. He doesn't need anyone else, not friends, not someone to love. His sister really would be the only one who would have close contact with his personal life and understand on a deeper level his feelings, usually being the voice of reason to others as to why he became the way he is now [assuming this is in the future and she is also growing up]. He'd care for a grave site weekly, and overall, it feels like a piece of him died along with you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

There are more what feels like two layers, and it depends on the reason and reason you might be having a moment of out-lash at him.

Take, for example, isolating yourself because you’re upset with him or an action he took or an argument. In this sense, Kuro would probably think you’re being childish. This is the behavior his little sister would have if upset or pouting, not an adult in a relationship. He would likely become more closed off and stoic at the moment and find himself annoyed at the action you are taking rather than settling to deal with the problem at hand. Ironically, it’s just as contradictory that he closes himself off too and doesn’t work to resolve the problem, but if you want to act like a childish brat, why should he have to fix the case you started? Kuro isn’t really the type to make it so you’re fully locked away, unable to have any form of life, and thus resort to isolating yourself in disdain for him. If in a fight, you do resort to isolation to calm down or whatever, then it’s expected you should be able to talk for a short moment before coming to Kiryu to resolve the issue. The longer you wait to talk over the ‘tantrum’, the more frustrated Kuro will get and likely leave him in a grumpy, cold mood to you for longer, unable to express his emotions as he doesn’t want to take them out on you either. Like this, his fear factor only increases, and his hovering nature seems to double for the amount of time you hid progressively. Even if it wasn’t forced isolation or him actively trying to scare other people off, they are now wanting to avoid him and you, by extension, even more. In the end, it only seems to backfire creating a cycle of loneliness problems.

As for something like screaming or crying in a fight, Kuro gets quiet for a reason of self-reprimanding. Not that he feels too guilty over his actions but that his actions once again come back around to hurt someone he loves. Kuro is well aware that his jealousy isn’t normal, and that his actions have never been the healthy solution, but he’s trying. He so desperately wants to amend his past, to melt and burn and tear up the negative and harsh feelings of jealousy boiling in his mind and heart. That this could all be normal, you could love each other and not have to feel this way if he just had done something different. And while he’s quiet, appearing perhaps slightly disinterested or the scowl on his face making you only fear more, he does nothing. He doesn’t take a step; he doesn’t flinch his hands, it almost looks like he’s not breathing with how steady he goes, telling himself not to lash out like the delinquent side of him wants to. He’ll simply wait, running scenarios and words over and over in his head while you exhaust yourself. Honestly, he’s probably not even processing the majority of your comments, so fixated on his thoughts. And as your screams turn into whimpers and tears begin to dry along your cheeks— too exhausted to keep going, Kuro will finally make his move coming over to comfort you. He’ll wipe away the crusting tears with a personal handkerchief and wrap you in his arms slowly as you hiccup those feelings away. In the end, you don’t remember what you were even screaming and crying about; Kuro too distracted to fully reflect the cause either. The fights are usually too far and few in between, but they are draining, with nothing ever being resolved waiting for the next time it comes around.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Kuro takes a long time, at least compared to the majority of the other idols. And it stems from keeping his guard up— both because of his past haunting him and his natural exterior from being a delinquent, his personality, and his wish to change.

To start, Kuro knows his personality is… rough at least from an outsider’s perspective. He’s aware he’s intimidating, his a wall of a person, and his face doesn’t always convey the intentions in his heart. It’s no secret to anyone that even the softness he has is not easily exposed in his demeanor, nor that his ability to pick and throw grown men isn’t terrifying in itself. Even if you don’t come off as frightened by his rough exterior and bluntness to topics that come off as harsh or off-putting at times pre-relationship, there is a lingering doubt in his mind to rush into things. And this leads to the other point; Kuro wants to change. As mentioned, he’s deeply aware not only of his feeling of being over-driven to a not-so-standard degree but being a delinquent doesn’t come with an easy change. It’s not even the fights that are hard to shake off; it’s all of the mentality, the lessons, and skills that come from that life. He doesn’t want, you know, to see that person he once was. He might still be underneath everything because change is more complicated than people expect. Kuro wants the soul mate relationship he feels; he wants to be the knight, not the villain. He wants the fairy tale love from the stories and movies he watches with his little sister— more than giving in to his jealousy and unsavory thoughts. So he waits. Hoping that things can change, not progress.

And the other reason I touched on a little before. His guard has to be still and shaking when getting into a relationship is not easy. Kuro wants to relax, give in, and just let things happen. But being a delinquent means always being on guard, and his softness, while a strength can only be shown in small amounts, tries to keep himself safe. It falters around you more than others, even more as time goes on, but it takes a long time to chip away that shield. And the other guard is, like I said— Kuro knows delinquents make enemies. He has plenty, and while being a famous idol can protect him more so now others might seek revenge on his sister or you. It’s one of the key factors that both hinder and progresses his yandere tendencies because if his guard is up, you can’t love him back, and you won’t be a target. But you’re around him anyway… and it’s unlikely that delinquents care to verify a relationship’s true nature as long as it’s exploitable.

Between these contradicting factors, it takes months. This is beneficial for Kuro means everything can play out, and fall into a relationship like an average couple. One void is his tendencies fogging up the back of his mind, eating away at his heart. It genuinely starts off simple… progressing into seeing him while he sews— one of the few times he lets down his guard— and hanging out with him more and more. It turns into bringing you lunch and hands brushing over each other. It’s hard to suspect him of doing anything wrong, or thinking anything wrong. His rough exterior becomes a flustering teasing point that makes his ears burn, chin buried in his hand. And the bluntness is useful. Asking you out is direct. It’s effortless and more of a command, so you can only blush and agree when the time finally comes. Kuro doesn’t need to snap or to lure you into something. He’s one of the few that isn’t genuinely trapping you, but that doesn’t change the manipulation and fear dripping down his heart; one day, you’ll see past his facade to the delinquent locked away but never truly gone.

#enstars.leaps #yandere #yandere writing #yandere x reader #yandere ensemble stars #yandere enstars #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #Yandere Kuro #yandere akatsuki #Yandere Kuro Kiryu #enstars x reader #ensemble stars kiryu #kuro kiryu #tw: yandere #Yandere Kiryu

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love-triangles-au · 1 year

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do they ever argue? what’s that like for a gun god and a chaos demon to fight? and most importantly, how do they make up?

OOH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION okay I ended up writing an entire essay for this complete with citations so it'll be beneath a read more. You have activated my brain worms, thank you kindly.

So I think that fights between these two are inevitable because they have some really differing core beliefs, especially on the concepts of family and love. A rather overlooked trait of Venuz is that he values respect and is nice to others as can be seen a lot on his Twitter. These are just three examples but there are quite a few more!

In our headcanon he also risked just about everything for Cuz as well. (I totally wanna elaborate more on that but I'll save it for some other time. >:]) Needless to say, Bill would never do this (well, not yet, at least), Mr. "WHO WOULD SACRIFICE EVERYTHING THEY'VE WORKED FOR JUST FOR THEIR DUMB SIBLING?" over here.

Every relationship goes through a "honeymoon phase" where the initial euphoria and lovey-dovey stuff is at its highest point. I think that Venuz was very much overwhelmed by this honeymoon phase and was willing to forgive or disregard just about everything Bill did that he'd ordinarily be really uncool with.

Eventually, though, that has to wear off, and he'll be forced to confront that yeah actually I'm kinda not cool with some of this behaviour.

Cuz is definitely his breaking point in tolerating Bill's lack of regard or respect for others. It starts to bother him to the point where he's like "ok u gotta leave him alone yo" and Bill would probably either deny completely that he's messing with him (which Venuz isn't falling for, Cuz has told him enough already) or say something like "SO WHAT? HE'S JUST A STUPID KID" and either way that's gonna piss Venuz off. Bill's constant abuse of his maids would definitely bother him, too. So yeah, that is the main problem they have -- Venuz values respect and Bill has none.

As to how they'd actually deal with it? Well I can imagine eventually Venuz says something like "if u ain't gonna respec my famili dis ain't gonna work" and Bill is really upset by that and goes full on the defensive and throws a tantrum / pity party like "WELL NOBODY EVER RESPECTED ME" blah blah blah trying to justify why he's an asshole and that's okay because he's the victim always.

Venuz has gotten to know him enough by now to the point where he can kinda understand where this is coming from even if he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and his little fit just makes Venuz feel bad for him. He thinks "wow he iz rly fukkd up. i can fix him". If he isn't willing to try to tame the beast at least a little bit I don't think this relationship would work out at all, lmao.

So, yeah, I'm sure most fights are based around that general concept. Bill calls the waiter a worthless three-dimensional skin-puppet or something and Venuz sprays him with a water bottle. And vise versa, too, probably; "YOU'RE TOO SOFT, YOU SHOULD BURN THAT MORTAL ALIVE".

Otherwise, though, smaller stuff they disagree on is definitely to what extent they should do "mortal stuff" like sleeping and eating or whatever. Venuz likes to do those things. Sure, he is a god, he could do anything he wants, but he chooses to eat, chooses to sleep, even chooses to have a job.

Bill is mortal now, so he needs to sleep and eat, but he's going to be obnoxious about that for as long as he can. After all, he's not really a mortal, this is only temporary! He's like Venuz, a deity beyond biology or responsibility! The rules don't apply to him!

I think Venuz is often frustrated that Bill can rarely ever just spend a chill evening in the living room cuddling with him, and Bill is frustrated that Venuz is wasting his time with those things. Heck, I'm sure Bill's extra frustrated because he wants Venuz's power; he's not using it, so it may as well go to him anyway! Nevermind the fact that Venuz is clearly living a lot happier life than Bill is, hahaha.

This totally develops as time goes on, though; Venuz spends more time taking Bill on little adventures around the galaxy and bringing him on Wasteland runs to set shit on fire with him, and Bill is more willing to indulge in lying around just enjoying one another's presence or spending evenings stargazing. Relationships are all about compromise and these two care about each other enough to be willing to do that, whether consciously or not. :)

~ Mod Emily 🦇

#ask box #mod emily #love triangles au #yungbill #yung venuz #bill cipher #nuclear throne #gravity falls #gun godz

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ghastlybin · 2 years

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Helloooooo I have an odd request but do you mind doing a Nayeon fic based off the song lover of mine by 5sos? It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to 🙈🙈💘

Not an odd request, I love song fics :,) also went through a huge 5sos phase but ignore that. THANK YOU for your request and sorry if I took forever, ily though and stay safe <3333 :)))

Pairing: Nayeon x GN reader

Word count: 1k

Genre/contents: was not supposed to be angsty but here we are. Very minimal amounts of fluff, good luck finding it.

TW: maybe don’t read this if you’re going through a breakup. I can’t control you though

Note: This mf (me) is posting again at 4am, can you believe?? I can. But this really wasn’t supposed to be angsty but I’m also kinda upset rn (unrelated to you, anon. ily) so it’s angsty, surprise surprise lmaaoooooo. Uhhh I also omitted some of the lyrics that I couldn’t really ‘brain’ too well with so yee, but they are color coded. You’ll hopefully see why once you read haha THANK YOU AGAIN I HOPE YOU ENJOY and thank you for your patience :)) 💜

I fcking love Nayeon though. She gives me butterflies. Also couldn’t find a gif because they are too happy for the contents of this post.

Lover of mine, maybe we'll take some time

Everything was perfect in the beginning. You had Nayeon, she had you. The warm feeling you two felt when you saw, spoke to, or whenever you were simply near each other.

Perfect.

But it was only the ‘honeymoon’ stage of your relationship.

Everything after that would be one long rollercoaster, showing you that relationships weren’t just cuddles and kisses and complimenting each other sweetly.

The bumps in the ‘rollercoaster’ would need time to get over and luckily, you were both on board.

Kaleidoscope mind gets in the way. Hope and I pray, Darling, that you will stay

Nayeon wasn’t sure how this would end, your relationship. If it would end.

Moments where you would grow distant because of the amount of work you had or when Nayeon would be away for weeks- even months at a time during her groups' comebacks.

The distance created a kaleidoscope of doubts and fears in your mind, hoping that she would stay and not drift off.

Yet there she was, her bright smile as she softly hummed, opening a box of various sweets. Seeing her smile alone had eased your worries and you were glad she stuck by your side.

And she, with you.

Dance around the living room, lose me in the sight of you. I've seen the red, I've seen the blue, Take all of me

Everything was perfect.

The spontaneous dancing together, forgetting every flaw in your relationship, the way she made you feel, the way she laughed when you were at your happiest.

It was all red, if you had to assign a color to this feeling. The color of love and romance, you and Nayeon energetically aligned with each other. The color of the blood pumping from your heart as your heart raced.

It was the color of her lipstick when she’d kiss you on a night out or the blush on her cheeks when you made her feel your love.

Though that was more of a pink tint, it was still a tint of red.

Then there was the blue. The arguments you would have or even the lonely nights you and Nayeon spent away from each other. It was all blue.

The emptiness, the longing, the heartache. The blue.

“I’m sorry.”

Two words that only go so far. Two words you frequented more often than you’d like to admit. To really mean it, you would have to show it. Nayeon was always accepting, adding to your guilt from arguing.

“I know.”

Whether your moments with Nayeon were red or blue, you still wouldn’t change it for the world.

I'll never give you away 'Cause I've already made that mistake

You were scared. Scared you would lose her, scared she would find better than you.

But she was the same. She feared losing you, feared you would find someone with more time.

Time.

Such a delicate thing, isn’t it?

It’s either too fast when everything is red, or too slow when everything was blue.

Nayeon looked at you from across the table, setting down the menu when she did.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Nayeon beamed, a blush tint on her cheeks.

You just smiled at her a little bit wider, knowing you had her by your side and you would never let her slip away.

At least not for as long as you had control.

“You’re just very beautiful.”

If my name never fell off your lips again, I know it'd be such a shame. When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes. You're the only thing that I think I got I right

It was perfect how Nayeon said your name when addressing you or trying to catch your attention.

It would be a shame to never hear her voice again. There your mind went, phasing into a Kaleidoscope of worries and fears of losing her.

Everyone you’ve been with in your past, the heartbreak, their respective ‘red’ and ‘blue’ moments you experienced.

Even the failed ‘talking stages’.

None of those were meant to be. You know this.

But with Nayeon, it was different. It felt meant to be.

Perfect. Everything about her was perfect in your eyes.

And you looked at Nayeon, your mind a Kaleidoscope of worries and fears that rapidly turned into the most beautiful kaleidoscope of thoughts of her. The patterns of the lovely things she’s said and the different looks you’ve seen her in.

The red outweighed the blue.

Everything wrong from your past didn’t matter.

You were at this moment in time, with Nayeon.

Everything about your relationship felt right. From the moment you met her, the red, even the blue, it was all right.

Everything was perfect.

Lover of mine, I know you're colorblind. I watched the world fall from your eyes. All my regrets and things you can't forget.

The red or the blue, Nayeon didn’t see the colors you saw. The red, she saw happiness, good times. The blue, she wished she could erase.

And like all good things, they eventually came to an end. Your past and her past relationships eventually collided.

Not in a crash and not in a fiery explosion of blue flame either, but rather quiet, simply letting go of a rope that had dug into both of your hands for too long.

An hourglass that ran out of sand.

Time was a delicate thing.

Trying to keep each other close and yet being so disconnected for long periods.

It was possible to maintain or manage the time. But just like Nayeon, time had fleeted away from you too.

Light them all up, Kiss them goodbye

“I love you.”

Three words that only went so far. Three words you often said, but not enough. The kaleidoscope in your mind showing you patterns of what-ifs, things you will never know now that she had moved on.

Nayeon’s mind was equally a kaleidoscope of what-ifs, even after your break up, she wondered if breaking up was the right decision.

“I loved you.”

Three words that hurt the most to hear, yet went further than I love you. Somehow, it was red.

Her last kiss to you before she had moved her stuff out of your apartment meant so much but was painted blue in your memory.

“Maybe next time?”

Blue? Red?

Purple.

“Maybe next time, sure.”

But everything was perfect.

#twice x reader #twice nayeon imagines #twice nayeon x reader #twice imagines #twice angst #twice nayeon #my dumbass almost forgot to tag this LMAOOO rip

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myloveforhergoeson · 3 months

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1 thru 10 for rames 👀👀👀

EHEHEHHE hiiii!! thank you! i love all of these loll

who fell first? who fell harder?

(<- can't get rid of?) james fell first. lmao. no funny comment no jokes he's just that kinda guy, and he's liked roxy for a long long time. as for who fell harder... well... i'd say it's up for debate. in my mind, it's roxy, just because i've got the timeline of their relationship so permanently etched into my brain i might as well get it tattooed in the back of my eyes or something. but from just the writing + whats out of the story, i think the case could be made for james as well!

2. who is the one who fusses the most? does their s/o mind very much?

rox for sureee. we all saw how she was when he got sick! miss girl was good and freaked; almost felt sick herself just looking at him. wrapped him up in a blanked burrito, tried to give him as much medicine as she could, sat and played her guitar for him. she was so worried! james, though unwell, lapped that shit up tho. he looooves it - doesn't mind at all. he's not superrr fussy i'd say in general because he knows she can take care of herself pretty well, but he has his moments for sure. roxys usually 50/50 about being ok with it or not bc she knows he has good intentions

3. what is their love language?

call me a hater but i've never really understood only having one major love language (sorry), i think it's more of a combination of multiple that help made a good relationship among many other things. for roxy, i'd say she's more inclined to lean into quality time overall, just being around james and hanging out together as much as they can is her favorite thing ever. even if they're not doing anything particularly special, it's still important to her that they're doing it together. that, coupled with words of affirmation through songwriting is mostly how she's able to express her feelings (maybe that can also count for receiving gifts if we call each song one?), though if james did press her she could be able to fumble out some affirmations here and there :) for james, i'd say physical touch is huge for him - he's pretty much always got a hand on her somewhere if they're close enough. secondary for him is also words of affirmation and it comes much easier to verbally communicate for him than it is for her!

4. has either oc ever gotten a hickey off the other? what was their reaction?

ya. i'll put it in tasw when im not too embarrassed to write it and when i think their relationship is crossing into more physically intimate lines (though they are minors so nothing explicit will be written about them just as a sidenote). i'd say roxy is actually quite the demon about it, though she isn't leaving them where people would likely see because she'd get bashful about it. surprised james at first, and he's not fond of it happening too often bc bruises + his beautiful skin don't pair well. but as long as she asks first and he agrees he's fine to wait out the few days it takes to disappear. other way around, it's not his go to move because he knows it'll embarrass her if someone says something. so if he wants to leave one its going somewhere someone can't see. if he asks first she will also be okay with it every once and a while!

5. what is something they like to do together?

they're still honeymoon phasing it for the most part so just being together at all is something the two of them love. they haven't really found their thing yet, but music does really connect them. she's becoming more open to letting him hear her works in progress and he's learning a lot about her through that! they also like to make out :) a lot :)

6. who would ask the 'would you love mf if i were a worm?' question? how would their s/o answer?

james is asking and roxy is telling him no she would not!

see morning glory (2.4):

“James, that was incredible!” Roxy praised, reaching over the railing to pull the item off the line and onto the stairs with them. “Where did you learn how to do that?”

Had it not been for the darkness of the outer edges of the studio, she might have seen how red his cheeks grew at her amazement. “My dad liked to fish.”

There was something off about the way he said that, as if there was a bit more to the statement than he was letting on, but now certainly wasn’t the time to pry. Instead, the writer nodded, “So does mine! He took me with him once when I was little, but I cried when I learned he used live worms as bait.”

“Aww,” He voiced sympathetically, before taking his pointer finger and wiggling it around right before her very eyes. “Little Roxy couldn’t stand to see the worms?”

With her free hand, she knocked his out of the way and failed at concealing her laughter. “No! I couldn’t then and I can’t now! All they do is dig around in the dirt and poop and-”

7. who likes forehead kisses? who likes hand kisses? who likes neck kisses?

though they both do generally, roxy roxy roxy. lol. no elaboration on this one sorry!

8. who is the big spoon? little spoon?

depends on the situation, if they're just sleeping james is typically big spoon and rox is little spoon just because they fit better that way, but in times when he's sick or needs some extra comfort or she's feeling extra clingy she's happy to hold him in return :) they're versatile lol

9. if there wasn't enough seats, how would they sit? one on the others lap? one on the armrest? one on the floor in front of them?

she's in his lap immediately lmaooooo. most of the time it's because he's pulling her there! goes along w number 3

10. who plays with whose hair?

roxyyyy she loves his hair soo much! he takes good care of it so its extra soft and so smooth and she loves having her fingers in it. screwing up his do be damned! james will too, mostly if they're just watching tv or something he'll braid hers or put it up in funny ways to amuse himself. but if they're cuddling or whatever she's usually got her hands in his hair and he's usually got his on her body lol. <- guy who worked so hard on his washboard abs to fall for a hair girl

RAHH OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH THIS WAS SO FUN😭🙏 some flying into your inbox very soon <3

send me a number 11-100 to learn more about rames!!!

#thats all she wrote fic #sooo fucking ramespilled these days #<333 #partiallypearl

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babiebom · 5 months

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Ranking the relationships in my fics

A/N: I have so many requests right now and no time to do them and I’m kinda burnt out on the one I’m doing so here’s something easy for right now :) both platonic and romantic as long as it’s a main relationship also half of these Fics have been either deleted or never posted but might be in the future!! I will include links to those posted :)

Tw:some nsfw? Some cursing, some angst, mentions of murder and suicide mentions of abuse (physical mental verbal) lmk if I should tag anything else!!

Bc at least 4 for each pairing

Misc Masterlist

1) Denali x Naomi (Escape the Fog)

From a deleted fic that I am currently rewriting its a dead by daylight fic with two original main characters

The reason this is number one is because out of all of the relationships this is the one that is strictly platonic

Like yeah romantic relationships aren’t bad but

Out of all the relationships this one is the most demanding and pure

I mean not to spoil but Naomi is literally taken to the Entity’s realm and Denali is taken there simply because her need to find her friend is so strong!!!!

Like she doesn’t care that she’s being killed every single day

She’s just happy that she’s found her friend that went missing

And loves her friend so much that she’s willing to be permakilled to get her back home

2) Sebastian x Reader (When You Fall)

From When You Fall which is a Stardew Valley fanfiction

The least toxic out of the romantic relationships

And by least toxic I don’t think they’re toxic at all

Like even if there’s a little angst (there’s gonna be a little angst btw) they’re a strong couple

Actually makes each other better rather than making each other worse.

They love each other for who they are including all of their flaws and they would be number one if Denali and Naomi didn’t have a relationship that goes above and beyond.

Like what kind of person would help you through your depression?

A person that loves you that’s who.

Like 80 years from now the two will be old and grey and still acting as if they’re in the honeymoon phase

3) Eden x Eleventh Doctor (The Garden of Eden)

From an unpublished Doctor who fanfiction that I am in the process of writing

Here is where we’re getting into the ohhhh this relationship is kinda toxic really

And it’s a shame they’re number THREE on the list lmao what does that say about my writing?

They are constantly arguing (90 percent not in a serious way)

And Eden sort of sees the Doctor as a God due to how they met which puts him on a pedestal

BUT the relationship doesn’t start off romantic which I think is healthy for them

And they are both fiercely protective of one another due to how long she’s spent traveling with him

So while she does see him as a God it isn’t in a very obvious or serious way unless you can see inside of her head as she doesn’t treat him as such at all.

Also a very goofy relationship overall

4) Grace x Seth Clearwater (unnamed fic)

It’s an unwritten and unnamed Twilight Fic that I might post when I’m done with the whole thing lmao

The only reason they’re number four is that I think that him imprinting on her is taking away his choice

Like yes they would probably still end up together regardless of if he had the ability to imprint or not because they’re soulmates

But him having the trait does take away the ability to actually choose

Like it’s literally a one look and that’s it thing. It forces you to live someone platonically or not so he doesn’t have a say in the matter

BUT the two do genuinely love each other so so so much that after their angst is done they’re inseparable

Which again sorta toxic when it’s a codependent relationship but they actually RARELY argue

Seth is actually so sweet that again after the angst is done they might have an argument once every like 5 years.

5)Quinn x Spencer Reid (Baby Blue)

From my Criminal minds fic that is currently posted on ao3 that I am debating on posting here.

Actually they argue so often

If he hadn’t have gotten her pregnant in a one night stand they would have still met and would have a love hate relationship

Like without the baby they would be an enemies to lovers trope but instead he immediately and accidentally got her pregnant so now they’re stuck with each other

Do genuinely love each other and after they finally figure out that they have feelings for each other everything calms down

But with her being pregnant and them not being in a relationship and then the jealousy and miscommunication everything is just toxic

Like could they tell each other that they accidentally fell in love with the other and they wanna try to have a relationship?

Yes.

Will they?

No.

But again after the drama they’re actually a very affectionate couple that manages to keep their passion into their old age

6) Ashanti x Cárter Walsh-Kim (unnamed fic)

From my deleted twilight fic

While he isn’t a main main character he serves to be the Jacob of the plot but they actually date and he doesn’t force himself on her or fall in love with her future child :)

They’re a healthy college age couple?

Kinda boring but not toxic at all until Emmett enters the mix

They’re stable and comfortable and honestly would be endgame if it wasn’t for Emmett

She loved him and he loved her not much else to say. They’re low because they break up lmao

7) Ashanti x Emmett Cullen (unnamed fic)

From the same deleted fic as above I might rewrite and repost

toxic because they can’t figure out if they wanna be together or not

Like actually they have a really good relationship when they’re not arguing and he’s being a wannabe Edward with his angst

Like when they’re not fighting a great comedic duo

And he’s her biggest supporter and she’s his.

And while I know I just compared him to Edward they don’t have the whole turn me I don’t wanna turn you drama like it’s a very easy discussion and decision

He’s literally just hung up on Rosalie and that’s where the drama comes from

And the arguing kinda makes some of his old human traits reappear

8) Fawn x Johnny Slaughter (Accidental Prey)

A Texas chainsaw massacre fanfiction that isn’t finished

Would be lower because he’s actually a murder and is keeping her hostage????????????

Like he’s forcing her to live with his murderous cannibalistic family

And he kinda abusive

But he’s genuinely in love with her (more like obsessed)

And hes the only reason that she’s alive

I can’t spoil the end but dude LOVES her more than Johnny in my other fanfics loves their partner more than just being possessive and obsessive

9) Bucky Barnes x Reader (Mr.Right)

From a deleted marvel fic that I haven’t finished and probably won’t until I get the urge

These two just absolutely JUMPED into a relationship without thinking about it

And tbh idk if they’ll last or not but they do currently love each other

It’s super middle/high school vibes but they do have a good relationship

He’s an assassin though

And has gotten them almost killed

And has taught them how to murder people

And is actually kinda a fucked up guy AND relationship because they kinda lose their mind.

10) Evangeline x Danny Johnson (Between a Rock and a Hard Place)

My dead by daylight x Texas chainsaw massacre fic that only has like a single chapter posted

Is higher than Johnny because he isn’t physically abusive like Johnny is

But still low because he’s actually insane

Is a serial killer but isn’t a cannibal

Is obsessed with her and probably wouldn’t kill her

Loves her I guess if obsession counts lmao

Is willing to take care and love a child that isn’t his if she chooses him

11) Evangeline x Johnny Slaughter (Between a Rock and a Hard Place)

From the same fic as above

Physically, Emotionally, and Verbally abusive

And while you’re thinking IM HOW IS HE NOT LAST

He did leave his family to go find her and does somehow love her that he hasn’t murdered her yet

And even though he threatens to kill her he never actually would unless he has a breakdown and kills her and himself

12) Corinne x Johnny Slaughter (unnamed fic)

From an unnamed unfinished unpublished Texas chainsaw massacre fic that will be posted when I’m done with all three chapters

Actually one of the WORST relationships and probably should be last

But the reason why it isn’t is because Corinne is no longer stuck with him

He physically, verbally, and emotionally abused her

Forced her to kill their child because the police were close to catching them and a child would slow them down

Constantly cheated on her with victims after he kidnapped her and forced her to live with him and his family

He doesn’t really love her (he thinks he does) he really just sees her as a possession.

13) Peter Parker x Reader (the Beauty of You)

A marvel fanfic that I deleted that is a You AU so Peter is in the role of Joe lmao

While he isn’t abusive he is VERY manipulative which is mentally abusive

Has murdered people to get to Reader

Has threatened to kill them

They’re lower than Corinne because Reader is stuck with him like until they die

Isolates them from literally everyone and uses his powers to keep them isolated and needing him

Loves them I guess lmao

14) Rasmodius x Reader (the Wizard and I)

From the stardew valley oneshot

Reader is also stuck with him for life

And this relationship is kinda romantic but the reader is being held hostage as some sort of slave

Like dude doesn’t actually love her just wants to keep his place

Like they’re literally his pet and is stuck like this

And unlike the other bad guys he literally has the ability to make them immortal

Like there’s no love at all, Reader is just possessed/enchanted to be okay with this.

Like their choice was no but this is still how they ended up unfortunately

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rubyscarbuncle · 6 months

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VENT POST FEEL FREE TO SCROLL PAST

content warnings: dysphoria, self-loathing, depression

I'm not really asking for advice or help, not really looking for people to feel obligated to read this, just kinda screaming into the void. I wouldn't turn down that, but if anyone does decide to read this for some reason, I don't want them to feel obligated to say anything. This is just a post to just... Get it out.

dysphoria has been beating my ASS recently. I feel like I'm out of the honeymoon phase of hrt if that makes sense, where the progress has slowed down a lot. Everything feels a lot slower and more incremental. I finally felt like I look femme enough to pass (a feeling that honestly I don't even believe on most days now) and tried to do voice training, but kinda stopped.

it's hard, on good days I can tolerate or ignore my voice but on most days I just don't like it at all. I think it's one of the reasons that I've been nonverbal more often recently. Although it's also due in part that I'm actually allowing myself to do so on days where I just don't feel like talking, but I think if I wasn't so dysphoric I'd at least be able to manage to just keep my mic on at least. Or at least squeeze out a few words. But I just don't like my voice being perceived. I think it sounds fake and wrong and a lot of other things. I know I wouldn't be feeling this way if I did voice training, but to do voice training I have to listen to and focus on my voice, and I hate my voice, but it can't change unless I do voice training, but to do it I have to listen and focus on my voice, and thus the cycle repeats and as I feel the cycle repeating my motivation dips lower and lower. It sucks. Like a lot. I feel like I'm in this weird fucked up stage where it's just enough to not present as outwardly masculine but is still very easily detectable as masc. I know passing isn't tied to gender, but it's a shitty feeling nonetheless.

I just wish I could bundle myself up and just never have to be perceived until my transition is complete. But I feel like I'm forced to walk around like a caterpillar that's halfway morphed, one that should still be in its cocoon but is forced to walk around anyways. It's a really shitty feeling that I don't know if I could describe to anyone that doesn't have to deal with it any better than that.

I put on make-up recently and felt not very good after putting it on, like I looked somehow more masculine in the way that you could tell I already didn't have a standardly feminine face but also had shitty make-up applied that feels deeply unfeminine, I got complimented by someone I know who signed to me saying "you look beautiful" and chat I can't lie, my first thought was "damn I can't believe they'd lie to my face like that."

It also sucks, because I feel like I'm nervous to be or act like myself outside of really close friends or else I might be seen as "not feminine enough" or something. But that in it of itself makes me feel like I'm just faking it or something and I feel like people can tell that which sorta makes its own vicious cycle.

I just wish I could just be put in some kind of vat like the healing pod for goku but for transitioning. Just sit in that vat and let the changes wash over me until it's over.

Don't get me wrong, I still love being trans, I love the community, I love the perspective it's given me, I love meeting supportive people, I love so much about it, but the dysphoria (and not to mention the transphobia) aougoughhhhhhhhh, it's debilitating.

#gender dysphoria #tw dysphoria #tw depression #tw self loathing

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dykedragonrider · 7 months

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Finished Crymachina and I am so sad that a game that a game with that compelling of characters is attached to the most 4/10 action game I have ever played. It's like if Nier Automata was for formerly religious lesbians. Like. The gameplay is incredibly shallow and there are some important mechanics (backstabs doing more damage being the biggest example imo) that really feel like they shoulda been telegraphed better, you can just one button through the entire game, the scaling is fucked for damage and ExP, there's a lot wrong with it on a pure systemic level. The level design is also bad but in a way that I think adds to the narrative so. I will let that one go. The characters and their relationships are the real meat of this game IMO and that's mostly what I wanna focus on. The game is about lesbians, and they're both tropey and have legitimate depth? The plot takes a backseat for the most part, which is fine. It's not a particularly strong plot but it's good enough where it counts to work for its purposes. I guess first on the agenda is looking at Leben and Enoa, our protagonists? While the story mostly follows Leben, Enoa is the character the game is most *about* in actuality.

Enoa runs the Imitation Garden, AKA Eden. It's the main hub for everything, and she acts as the caretaker of both it and the E.V.E., because it's also where she lives. Having been broken down twice, the game is about her reconstruction and recovery on two levels, and I do think this is something the game's use of the Kabbalah adds to. As you unlock the levels in game, the main "nodes" you access are all named for the different sefirot of the Tree Of Life. As Enoa develops, you progress the Kabbalah. I think the fact that the game's main ending cuts off at Hod does undermine its use a little, but the sefirot of Malkuth, Yesod, and Netzach are also used in ways postgame that are clever, so I'll let it slide. Enoa is deeply caring, putting everyone above herself. She is earnest, incredibly emotional, and seeks to transcend her machinehood. She routinely invalidates herself and her experiences, given the fact she isn't an authentic human, because she has so much love for humanity.

To contrast that, is Leben. The first E.V.E. we get to see, and to some degree our player surrogate, but that's a role passed around and abandoned as needed, she just plays it the most given how she introduces us to the game. Leben is grounded, prone to flights of fancy but then often backtracking them upon realizing the full consequences of her actions. She resents humanity, and adores machines. Notably, Leben, unlike the other E.V.E., wasn't actually born out of Enoa simulating humanity. Leben was, at one point, Propator, but she's also not that person any more.

It's kinda hard to sell the dynamics in this game because well, it's their execution that carries it, but I still wanna paint the best picture I can. Leben and Enoa's relationship is very much them being lovey dovey, partially because they're fresh to it (I don't subscribe to the honeymoon phase as an idea, I think they're just figuring stuff out somewhat still), and partially because they're aware of their circumstances and are living their lives to the fullest despite that. There's a lot of care for one another in it, and their dreams are shared and centered around mutual joy for each other. It's very much a love that's still finding its feet, but the feelings they have do a lot of the heavy lifting.

For starting the other pair, we have Mikoto. A bona fide badass who values her appearance incredibly strongly. Not in a physical or vein way necessarily, she just values being cool a lot. She loves film as a medium, and likes ribbing other people, as well as sardonic jokes. Mikoto also speaks with her actions rather than her words consistently. She doesn't like being emotionally honest in words, despite the fact she also wears her heart on her sleeve. To contrast, Ami is a sweetheart. She's very cute and flowery in all she does, and is completely devoted to her family of the other three girls, but especially Mikoto who she consistently states her adoration for. She's also axe crazy as hell and is represented as an oni in her battle attire. Gap moe out the ass, basically. Ami also has to be wanted. If she can't be useful, she feels like she has no purpose. This, notably, isn't tied to her being in a wheelchair in her past life, but tied to her relationship with her family. Feels like a bare minimum thing but it still feels important to mention.

Ami and Mikoto don't ever label their relationship, but it doesn't matter because what they are is clear enough, maybe a little less to Ami given some of her anxieties, but you can know very easily. They've shared their existences in all the ways that matter, and at that point a label is set dressing. They've promised to spend eternity and a day together. They're like an old couple in how they talk and interact with the pair of Leben and Enoa, and it's super sweet.

Typing this I realize that I can't find the words to say what I want to say about this as well as I want to, because there's just a lot that I feel is done not through being able to communicate it, but the experience of it? Either way, the point is it's good. I just wish that the good relationship dynamics we have weren't attached to a middling action game that only goes on sale for 10% off and costs $60.

#tsunny reviews #crymachina

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alasmydearatlas · 1 year

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thinking about writing again and how a character's biggest flaw is often also their biggest strength

and how no trait is wholly good or wholly bad and it's how you use it and take advantage of it and play to your strengths

and im thinking ab that in terms of relationships

im feeling very insecure in my relationship rn

i guess this kinda our first (second??) really big season of change

it's our second and it's not about me this time

and i have to figure out how to deal with that and be supportative and also take care of myself too

and i'm trying to figure out how i dont want to feel and how i do want to feel and how this can be smth that makes us stronger not just tolerate

and also prevent premptively contempt

scary

terrifying thought

falling from love to contempt

ugh its crazy this is totally one of those chose the relationship times

we in real life now grrr

not in a honeymoon phase

it okay i think we will get back as we settle in

there is just a lot and anxiety is high

right now (in context of our relationship) i am feeling:

disconnected

on the wrong foot

helpless

insecure about what i bring to the table

oversaturated ??

shut out a bit

and i keep thinking about our conversation in the car on the way down from this weekend

and like the phrase "giving up on you" and how he said he didn't want to and i don't want to

but it's humbling that that thought would cross my partners mind even briefly

like not that i think i'm above being broken up with

but like it's grounding and a reality check a bit i guess

and super vunerable

like someone saw me and sees me and still loves me and actively chooses me even when sometimes my actions hurt them unintentionally and so now i am very intrinsically motivated to do better and wear down some of my sharp edges

i wish to work on my patience

and my judgmental comments

and actively pursuing an "us" and putting him into consideration of my plans

and not like rouge lone wolfing as much

i think some of that comes from unmet needs of alone time and independence

i dont want to feel like i disappoint you every time i hang out with my friends

but i also want to be sensetive to the fact that he is alone here in terms of no friends and stuff

and learning to adult alone, like almost totally alone for the first time ever

but i can't neglect myself to do that

and i really don't want to feel like a crutch

that would make me very resentful

and i think that's why i've been acting out a little lately and this weekend

i think maybe some of it comes from feeling trapped and smothered a little bit

our lives are typically much more seperate

and i'm not sure how much to check in and make plans and how far in advance and etc etc etc

idkkkkk

long distance is kinda nice sometimes

not ideal set up fs but it does have some really nice perks

like he was so quiet and distant today but then still called dell ab my power chord???!?!?!?

maybe it's just not about me

idk i'm still feeling really raw and oversensetive

i think we shall have a chats on or after our walk tonight

maybe i invite him back for a cup of tea !! or smth !

okay i go read about biggest flaws in relationships on the internet and come back to reflect in a bit

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taleofharrison · 2 years

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Through Wayne’s Eyes

A/N: An overwhelming amount of people read this and some people asked for a part 2 and I thought why not? I hope this is good and you like it the first was part was kinda impromtu and not planned at all so I hope this one can live up to the expectations.

Part 1 | Part 3

Warnings: some angst and they/them pronouns (if I made a mistake there please let me know

Eddie didn’t graduate that year; you didn’t get to walk the stage with him that year. However, it didn’t stop Eddie and Wayne from attending your ceremony and cheering up for you.

That day Wayne got to witness the next stage of your relationship with Eddie.

“You did it!” Eddie smiled hugging you and spinning you in the air “I’m so proud.”

“It would’ve been better with you by my side” you teased. Eddie had come to terms with that and was looking forward to guiding more little sheep.

“I told you next year is my year” Eddie assured you.

“Congratulations, Y/N” you were so happy to see Wayne there too. By this point you were already family.

“Thank you, Mr. Munson.”

“Uhm-can I talk to you?” Eddie asked you “by that tree” Eddie pointed a tree a few meters away from all the people.

“Sure” you smiled.

“It was now or never” Eddie thought.

“I love you…as in I’m in love with you” Eddie blurted out “I had to tell you now because after this summer you’re leaving for college, and I can’t hold it back anymore.”

There was a silence a little too long for Eddie’s liking. “Please say something”

You grabbed him by that damn leather jacket you loved so much and kissed him.

“Took you long enough” you laughed after the kiss “I’ve had a crush on you since we were 15.”

Wayne was around during the honeymoon phase.

Since you would be leaving for college by the end of the summer, you and Eddie decided to be spent as much time together as you could, this meant that you basically moved to the Munson household.

“Morning Y/N” Wayne greeted as you left Eddie’s room. You were wearing an old Metallica shirt that belonged to Eddie and some sweatpants.

“Morning” you mumbled with a tired smiled “Mr. Munson once again thank you for allowing me here so often.”

“I’ve told you can call me Wayne now if you want to” he reminded you.

You only saw Wayne early in the morning when he came home from his night shift. He went to sleep while Eddie and you prepared for a day around town and do whatever you felt like doing.

“I don’t know…” you were cut off by Eddie’s arms hugging you from behind. He hid his face on your neck. It was almost instinct by now.

The older man smiled, he couldn’t be angry or upset at this public display of affection. He knew Eddie couldn’t stay away from you, he has known that for years now and he was happy to see his nephew happy. After all Eddie was his son now.

“I’m going to bed” he told them after breakfast “you guys enjoy your day.”

Wayne saw the strain long-distances was having on Eddie.

“No, I get it” Eddie sighed trying to hide his frustration “you’re busy.”

It was Thursday morning, just like every morning the Munson men would have breakfast together before going to their daily activities. Wayne saw the disappointment in Eddie’s face.

You had promised you would visit him every other weekend since you’d be attending college in Indianapolis, you were just a few hours away. However, you had assignments, tests and a lot of shit going on sometimes and you had to cancel. Eddie understood but this was your third time cancelling.

“Don’t worry about it” Eddie tried to reassure you “you’ll be home for winter break anyways.”

Eddie had called you to tell you about everything he had planned for the weekend, activities that you both loved to do together.

“Hey, why don’t you go visit them instead?” Wayne suggested “you surprise them.”

“No, I think it’s fine” Eddi replied “don’t want to distract her anyways.”

With that Eddie left for school.

Wayne was there during the first big fight.

“I know college is important” he tried to reason “but this gig is also important. Our first time in an actual decent bar. I’d like you there.”

“It’s during the week Eds” you reminded him “during midterms I’m sorry I can’t.”

“Oh, come on” he snapped “One night just ONE fucking night put me, put our relationship, first for once.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” that comment shocked you and even offended you a little bit.

“It means you’re never here” Eddie complained “every time you cancel last minute all your visits, this weekend is the first time in months we get to see each other, and this is the first time I’m asking you to do something for me.”

“Eddie, I’m sorry we haven’t spent time together. I’m sorry I can’t visit you as often and I miss you so much” you explained “but I’m working so hard for the future we want.”

“How can there be a future us if there’s not a present us?” he chuckled. It was sarcastic and dry.

You looked at him in pure shock. Tears started to roll out of your eyes, he couldn’t be serious about it, could he? After all those years of friendship he just couldn't be that mean to you.

“I’ll stay with my parents tonight” you whispered.

You saw Wayne by the picnic table. He must’ve heard part of the fight and gave you some space. He gave you and apologetic smile as you got in your car and left.

Wayne also knew you were going to last anyways.

It was the end winter break and just like you promised you spent it in Hawkins. Of course, you’d have to have dinner with your family for Christmas but still you spent as much time as possible with the Munson family.

That last fight made both of you miserable since you never really discussed what would happen after that Eddie took his van drove to see you. He missed a week in school but fuck it. It was worth it; you were worth it.

“Do you have everything?” Eddie asked as he helped you with your luggage.

“Yeah, I think so” you replied, “if I forget something, I’ll just come pick it up as soon as I can.”

“Bet you just want an excuse to come” Eddie teased.

“Well, I already got one” you teased back, you leaned in for a kiss.

You pulled away so you could also say goodbye to Wayne. He had been checking that your car was perfectly working since the drive back to Indianapolis was a rather long one.

“Remember you’re welcome here any time” he smiled “you’re family now.”

“Yeah, I know” you said, taking the seat behind the wheel of your car.

“Y/N, wait” Eddie said “I have one thing for you”

He gave you one of his rings, your favorite, as a necklace. “So that if anyone back there thinks you're available you can tell them about your amazing boyfriend back home.”

“It’s lovely Eddie. I’ll never take it off.”

Wayne saw the whole interaction from the trailer. He had seen Eddie grow up and become into the young man he was today and knowing him better than anyone he knew Eddie would be proposing officially soon.

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I’ll tag people who asked for a part 2 hope that’s okay:

@kiszkawagnerwhore @silky-luxe @angelsarecallin

#eddie munson #stranger things imagine #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfiction

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shreddedparchment · 2 years

Text

Perennial Pt.18

All Night Long

07/03/2022

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Word Count: 2,304

Warnings: smut, language, fluff, Bucky's metal arm

A/N: We all need reader's shop to reopen so she can get back to making pretty flower bouquets. On a different note, this is my first bit of smut in a hot minute. haha I don't know how it reads and I kinda feel like it's too short. Anywho, enjoy! Let me know what you think! xoxo

PLEASE do NOT repost, translate, or copy my fics to other sites or blogs!!

You're famous. Well, not on your own merit. You're famous for dating Bucky.

You find yourself happy that the shop is closed for the expansion as a lot of people loiter there for the first few days.

Bucky doesn't have it easy either. He's asked about you every time he goes out and often gets well wishes which is sweet.

"I hope you and the flower shop girl never break up."

The hopeless romantics of the world are so pleased that the Winter Soldier has found love. And aside from some intrusive questions about how your relationship started, it isn't unpleasant to deal with the new added fame.

Sometimes you catch Bucky worrying but what about he won't say and he makes you forget easily with some kisses and…other stuff.

Like his fans, you're pretty happy too.

Despite all of the attention, at this moment, all you really want is Bucky’s.

Coming to one of the dinner parties at the tower isn't as distracting as you'd hoped and all you can think about is getting Bucky back home.

All you can think about lately is getting him naked and you chalk it up to the honeymoon phase of your newly formed relationship but also, he's so freaking hot.

He seems distracted too, barely paying attention to whatever Sam and Steve are saying as they all sit around a cards table.

Bucky’s hand is loose around his cards but the way he strokes the thick paper's edge with his metal pointer finger has you biting your lip.

“You hear me?” Sam asks, his voice carrying over to your seat beside Rhodey who is going on about some mission with a tank and dropping it from the sky or something.

You’re not paying attention.

“Buck?” Steve is quieter but you can see him mouth the nickname.

Both of them follow Bucky’s eyeline and you shyly look away, somewhat flustered at being caught gazing at your boyfriend.

You're hoping they can't see where your thoughts are.

Your stomach flutters at the word boyfriend.

Every time you think it, it feels like a dream. Your boyfriend!

“I guess he’s too famous now to pay us any mind, Steve.” Sam sighs, speaking loudly enough again that you can hear him.

You however, turn your eyes back on Rhodey and Tony who are now arguing about how the tank story needs to be taken out of Rhodey’s rotation of party stories.

“You tell it every time I throw a party. Who here hasn’t heard that story? Can’t you add something? A love story? Maybe you sweep into some castle and steal a kiss from some hot little princess?”

“That wouldn’t be accurate to what happened Tony.” Rhodey deadpans.

“Have you always been this boring?” Tony asks him.

“Have you always been this annoying?” Rhodey counters.

Across the room Steve has leaned back in his seat, arms crossed as he nods.

“I always knew one of you would abandon the team for fame. I never thought it would be Bucky.”

When Bucky doesn’t look away from you as you steal another peek, Sam reaches out and slaps his shoulder.

“How’s it feel to be famous for hooking up with the flower girl, Barnes?”

Something about the phrase “hooking up with the flower girl” gets Bucky’s attention and he finally turns to look at Sam with a somewhat dazed expression.

“What?” he asks, voice slightly high.

Sam smiles and shakes his head before giving a nod in your direction.

“Man, why don’t you just go get your girl and get outta here? Dinner’s over and Tony won’t miss the two of you. He’s too busy fighting with Rhodes.”

Steve looks over at them and you follow his gaze to see Rhodey and Tony have gotten to their feet and are moving towards the pool table now bickering about who’s got the better break.

Apparently they don’t have to tell him twice. You see him rise from the seat, dropping his cards to flop onto the table face up.

“You had a straight?!” Sam calls out in shock but Bucky is focused. Winning hand be damned.

You turn to look up at him as he reaches you and he offers it to you, “Come on, kid. Let’s go home.”

“Won’t it be rude to leave this early?” you look around but everyone is having too much fun just hanging out to pay you two any real mind.

Steve and Sam have already gotten up to join Tony and Rhodey at the pool table.

“Nah, come on. Let’s get outta here.”

You take Bucky’s hand and he pulls you to your feet before disappearing off to get your coat while you find Pepper and say bye. The party was great and you can’t wait to text Kamala tomorrow about how you had dinner and drinks with the Avengers but you are so ready to get Bucky home.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tickles along your thigh bring goosebumps across your skin as you try to ignore the way Bucky’s fingers find just the right spots between your legs. He’s not touching you fully yet, just tracing small shapes into the soft jiggly flesh of your thighs as he slides his hand up and down slowly sliding closer and closer to your sweet spot.

If you had been wearing pants, this would be much more difficult for Bucky to do.

As it is, your short black floral party dress gives him easy access and just as you’re about to readjust your coat around your chilly arms, Bucky’s fingers make purchase and he runs his middle finger up and down your soaked panties.

“Bucky,” you beg, reaching down to grab hold of his wrist as his searching drives your legs apart a bit more.

“You were so good with everyone tonight,” he tells you, voice so low that you feel it in your chest.

The praise has an unexpected effect on you and you throw your head back against the seat of the car wishing this ride was over already.

There’s the added bonus that the driver up front is on the phone so he’s not paying the two of you any mind.

You peek at him but Bucky’s probing finger brings your attention back down as he pushes your panties aside and slips his tip into the aroused mess between your legs. Gasping quietly, you reach up to put your hand over your mouth as the slightly colder temperature shocks you for a moment. You can feel how wet you are and it’s so embarrassing.

Again you glance at the driver but Bucky scoots closer and takes his hand back only to wrap his left arm around your shoulders and as he leans in to kiss your temple, he slips his right hand between your legs to resume his fondling.

“I’ve been wanting to touch you all night long,” he whispers for you, sliding his finger into you slowly as he uses his thumb to rub slow circles around your clit.

“Bucky,” you beg again, turning your head to look at him.

He licks his lips but doesn’t kiss you, instead he stares at you as he pumps his finger into you, watching your mouth widen as he pulls you closer and closer to a climax.

He keeps his movements small and contained, turning to almost face his body towards you to shield his doings from the driver should he turn and look.

“You’re so wet for me, sugar,” he tells you, rubbing his nose against yours as he speeds up, slipping a second finger inside of you as he uses his palm to press against your clit.

You shut your eyes, willing yourself to keep quiet as the sounds of your arousal get louder. It's unmistakable, but is it loud enough for the driver to hear?

“Come for me, sugar.” Bucky demands.

“Fuck…” you whine, opening your eyes to glare at him for bringing you to this point in the back of a cab.

He smirks, and presses a little more against you, curling his fingers up just right and the dam bursts.

You squeeze his wrist, digging your nails into his skin without control as you come undone in his arms.

You gasp and he breathes with you, mouths open as he watches you fall to pieces.

You tremble and shake as he overstimulates you then lovingly pulls his fingers out of you and fixes your underwear.

“That’s my good girl,” he says and you grit your teeth against the high you’re riding.

How the hell can he tell you these things with a straight face?!

“I hate you,” you tell him, more eager than before to get him back to his bed.

Without warning he slips his fingers into his mouth, tasting you slowly before drawing them out as he savors it.

“You gotta say it like you mean it, kid.” He smiles and leans in to give you a peck as the cab slows and parks.

Bucky pays the man then exits on his side before moving around to help you out from yours, on the surface he's back to being the gentleman you know and love.

You very nearly buckle as you stand, legs weak after his fun, but he catches you and helps you straighten up.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you," says the lewd devil underneath.

You shake your head, reaching down to take his metal hand.

“Oh, no. I’ve got you Barnes, for the rest of the night. And you’re gonna pay for that little stunt.”

“I hope you’re charging me interest.” Bucky chuckles and despite your threat, you’re fairly sure that he’s going to get the upper hand again.

Honestly? You’re gonna let him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky has you pinned to the island, his hands yanking at the sash behind your dress before he starts to fumble with the buttons, exposing your back slowly.

With each new button he leans down to kiss your skin, his tongue making sloppy circles as your own hands fumble with the belt of his pants.

The clink of it coming undone is deafening.

Finally you get his button and the zipper, a skill you didn't know you had having never undressed someone behind your back before.

"Screw the dress Bucky just hurry up and fuck me," you urge him impatiently while trying to push his pants down.

Bucky abandons your dress as he pushes them to the ground.

He flicks your skirt up, underwear long since left on the hallway floor on your way in.

You can feel his hips press against your cheeks and then the hard heated bulb of his cock pressing and sliding against your lower lips as he lubricates before lining himself up.

He presses slowly and your cunt can't help but shape itself to him. He groans as he pushes in further, pressing his hand into the center of your back as you lay forward against the counter and rise to the tips of your toes as he fills you completely.

He stays there, buried within you for what feels like ages.

"Bucky…" You plead, desperate.

"You feel so good, sugar."

His words only make it worse and you squirm.

Bucky slides back and then thrusts forward, the slap of your ass against his hips is soft but your moans are anything but quiet.

"Oh, fuck!" You cry and grip the counter.

You can feel your legs shaking as he pushes into you over and over his hands gripping your hips so tight yet slipping on the fabric of your dress.

His breathing grows heavy and rough. He leans forward, lips kissing your back again as his massive body engulfs you from behind.

His hands slide up along your sides before hooking into the front of your dress and he yanks it down, exposing your breasts which he quickly cups and massages with an urgent fervor.

He pulls you up off of the counter, your back arching as he fucks you hard but fondles your chest and tweaks your nipples into hard round pebbles.

"Kiss me, sugar," Bucky pleads and it surprises you how much emotion is in his voice.

There's real desire there. He really wants a kiss.

Turning your head to the side to look back at him, he leans forward and wraps his metal hand around your neck holding you in place as he dips down, tongue first, to meet your kiss.

There's so much happening and so many sensations your mind is overwhelmed. His cock is hard and relentless, his hand on your breast demanding, his mouth eager, and his metal hand so tight to hold you still.

"I'm coming," he whispers, leaning his forehead against the side of your head as his hips move deeper and his flesh hand grips your hip.

"Oh, Bucky…" You whimper, reaching for his wrists to hold yourself up.

"Come for me sugar. I'm gonna fill you up," he grunts and it's too much.

You shudder as he continues to plunge in and out, your body shaking against his as you come undone again.

You can feel your body go limp but Bucky thrusts a few more times before you feel him spill into you. The heat makes you shiver and he falls forward with you beneath him, pinned to the counter as he gasps for breath.

"More," you swallow hard, catch your breath and push against his large form.

Turning you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his lips slowly.

"I want more," you tell him and he smiles, stunning you with dazed steel blue eyes.

"Anything you want, kid. I can go all night for you."

He stoops down and hooks his arms behind your thighs and lifts you up onto the counter before settling between your legs again.

"Just say when," he warns and tears you open again.

#bucky x florist!reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #flowershop au #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #Perennial pt18 #perennial

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whysojiminimnida · 2 years

Note

The “sky, people” day was wild because this happened on the same day as that interview.

I’m trying to find the official clip but alas, no luck, BUT how can anyone see that and say that’s normal bro behavior. You just know, you know this isn’t their first rodeo, posing for pics like that for each other.

Handle hair Jungkook is absolutely wild. // love the people in the background that didnt give a shit about what these two were doing. Makes you wonder how often they do this in front of others for it to be a normal jungkook and jimin thing.

They’re gay YSJ, gay 🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🌈🦄💜💛🏳️‍🌈

OMG HIHIHIIHI @chikooritajjk hiii! I missed you! Sooo okay this is ALL HAPPENING between November 15-20, 2017. Which was a big week for the guys - all of them - because of the 2017 AMAs and also the Jimmy Kimmel Mini Outdoor Concert and also ALL the interviews and also... because the Jeon-Parks were barely two weeks off their Tokyo trip and GCF Tokyo, which Jungkook uploaded on the 8th. THE CHEMISTRY AND STUFF WAS ON HIGH IS WHAT I MEAN, HERE. That whole week is like ten posts of stuff. I could do it, if you want.

Here's the pre-AMA interview with E! News Asia, and it actually filmed on, I think, the 17th, but some of the stuff looks like the 18th or 19th and the same shirts so IDK. ANYWAY it was 2017 AMAs and they were in the US for it.

youtube

Sky... people....

AND ALSO THAT DAY

youtube

Ah, young gay love and gay panic... these guys could NOT catch a break that week and they were fresh off their honeymoon and still in the giddy phase of what happens when you surprise your man with a Disney trip and a hotel with a see-through bathroom and then post a whole Youtube Ode To My Boyfriend... Props to Tae for that support, though. He was a true bro like "uhhh yeah. Straight as an arrow and dumb as a box of hammers, that's our Jungkookie" and Joon is like "sure we'll Google it or w/e why did PD-nim make me Guardian Of The Fairy Children what the fuck" while doing mental math to see if he could afford to retire at 24. Honestly Namjoon just constantly looked like he wanted to unalive them both all week. The holy water interview happened that week or just before that too, it was insane. Namjoon got revenge though on the same day in a whole other interview about who gets all the girls and Joon straight up goes "Oh, Jungkook" resulting in SAD JIMIN and gay-panic Jungkook. AWKWARD PANDA WAS AWKWARD.

It was... well, it was mean. But the man was at his wits end. Namjoon In The Middle is my favorite show.

OH BUT YOU WANTED THIS AMIRITE?!

But THIS has been a two-day bitch to find. So my apologies for tardiness but we know I get like that AND ALSO... I KINDA HAVE IT.

It’s here at 42:47-52

youtube

And based on that I noticed the footage was from Good Insight: Producer Bang Si Hyuk episode, so I found that. And the Good Insight piece is a fucking HOUR long almost so I have not yet frame by framed it to locate that piece of video BUT I WILL because I NEED IT NOW THANKS ;) Also it looks really good and I haven't seen it soooo new material for meeeee yay ANYWAY:

If for some reason you can't see it try using this link. Bless Bangtan Subs.

And also swing a chicken for me to figure out why the hell my XBox Game Bar is not screen recording on my new gaming laptop because WHAT THE HELL. I did the whole screen acceleration and shutting shit off thing already. No dice. Errors aplenty. I'll work it out OR perhaps a smol genius will assist. Who knows. I digress. LOOK THOUGH I CAN SCREENSHOT LIKE A BOSS praise me plskthx i'm a libra

I'm sure there was a point I was making but honestly it's just nice to see you all and I'm easily distracted by the Jeon-Parks and that whole honeymoon period was WILD. OH THERE'S KEVIN HE'S UP EARLY LOVE YOU ALL BACK SOON ENJOY THE JIKOOKERY

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sundaysundaes · 4 years

Text

Jealousy

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff, Drama | NC-17 | College AU Summary: It comes as a nice surprise when you saw your ex-boyfriend at your workplace and you thought everything was going to be fine. You both have moved on, right? Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck, thinks otherwise.

Warnings: rough unprotected sex, oral sex, slight choking, slight dirty talk, this is just pure filth you guys I’m so sorry I had too much feels

It’s the continuation of Before Our Story Began but can still be read separately if you want.

It has been months since you first dated Lee Donghyuck, also popularly known as Lee Haechan, and things were great—more than great, even, but all good things have come to an end at one point. Your relationship with Haechan is still going pretty strong, but now that you have passed the Honeymoon Phase—where it’s all just sex and raw passion—things can sometimes get a little tense.

While he’s been certainly fun and charming for the most times you’ve been together, not to mention adventurous when it comes to sex, Haechan can be really stubborn and selfish that you often start to bicker with him over the simplest of things.

Like yesterday, for example.

“Look, I said I’m sorry!” He whined and you held yourself back from rolling your eyes because that was so him and it wasn’t really cute anymore. Especially after he arrived an hour late at the cafe that he’d asked you to meet a day before.

“I’m not angry,” you stated, emptying the rest of your coffee. On the other side, Haechan’s ice americano was still pretty much full considering he just got there and you had ordered the drink for him an hour before, thinking that he was going to be on time for your date. But no, he was so into the new online game Jaemin had told him about a week ago that he began to lose track of time. It seemed to you that was all he’d been doing for the last few days, and you were fine with giving him some personal space but clearly not if he was wasting your precious time instead. Not everybody is as smart as him when it comes to keeping good grades. Maybe he doesn’t have to study much, but you do.

“You are! You’re totally angry!” He pointed out and you sighed because of course, I’m angry, you idiot, I had to spend an hour by myself doing literally nothing because you asked me to go out when I’m supposed to be working on my papers that’s due tomorrow but you kept yourself in silence. You had to be the adult in the relationship, especially when you’re dating a goddamn brat.

“Whatever.” You placed back your phone—which had been your only companion—into your purse and wore back your coat. “I have to go.”

His eyebrows—his thick, beautiful eyebrows that you love so much (though not that day) were knitted in both desperation and annoyance from how you acted. “Noona!” He wailed, grabbing your hand when you stood up from your seat. “What do you want me to do? If I could go back to the past, I would, but I can’t and you being unreasonably angry like this isn’t—”

“Unreasonably?”

Haechan’s jaw hung slackly on his face when he noticed the anger radiating off your body. You were angry before but not this angry. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, pulling your hand out of his grip. “I’ll see you later, Donghyuck.” It was cold, the way you said it, and Haechan sensed that. But being the whiny brat that he was, he just kept on shouting back, gathering people’s attention.

“Can’t we be adults and talk about this—Yah!” When you didn’t answer—or even glanced back at him—he threw his hands in the air, yelling, “You know what? Fine! I don’t really want to hang out with you anyway! In fact, it’s actually better for me if we don’t hang, ever!”

But you already had your feet out of the door.

On the next day, he came by to your dorm at four in the morning, making your roommate groan with a hellish fire burning in her eyes. “If that’s your boyfriend, I am going to kill him.”

“Don’t bother, I will,” you muttered in response before you stepped down from your bed, turned on the lighting (which earned another loud groan from your friend), and reached for the door. Haechan stood there with his hair looking like a bird’s nest, his cheeks reddening from the morning cold, and his eyes bleary from lacking sleep.

“I’m sorry,” he softly said in all of the sincerity he could emit. “I’ve been an asshole.”

“It’s four in the morning, Haechan-ah.”

“I know, but I can’t sleep thinking about what happened before and I don’t think I can before you forgive me.” He did his best pout. It was cute, but not cute enough to wash your vexation away. “Also, it’s raining heavily outside, if you haven’t noticed, so I thought it would add some dramatic effects to my apology.”

“You’re not wet though.”

“Neither were you before you met me,” he joked, wiggling his eyebrows but when he noticed you glaring at him in reticence—oh if looks could kill—he flinched and hastily added, “Sorry, bad timing. I don’t know why I said that. Well, umm, it was kinda cold when I stepped under the rain so I decided to just bring an umbrella with me.” He suddenly seemed like he remembered something. “Oh yeah, can I leave it here? I’ve got an early class today and I don’t really want to carry it with me everywhere.”

That earned another flat stare from you. “You’re not taking any of this seriously, are you?”

“I am! I swear!” He squeaked, shuffling inside his bag before he took out a white box with a red bow wrapped around it. “Look, I brought you some chocolates.”

“I’m on a diet.”

“Well, now, how am I supposed to know?”

“I literally told you that yesterday.” To say he was testing your patience would be an understatement at that point. “Remember? When you arrived late on our date and you asked why aren’t you ordering anything and I said I’m on a fucking diet!”

“Yo, chill, I was just trying to be nice.” Haechan grabbed you by the shoulders, massaging the sore spots and it would probably feel good if you weren’t so pissed-off over his antics. “Also, Noona, don’t you know? Men have a harder time remembering things than women do. And that’s just scientifically speaking, not me.”

You exhaled so loudly into the air, slapping his hands away. “Look, it’s literally four in the morning. Can we talk again when the sun is up? Like normal people?”

“Noona, pleaseeeeee.” He threw his head back in exasperation. “I said I’m sorry! What else do you wa—”

“JUST FORGIVE HIM FOR FUCK’S SAKE! YOU GUYS ARE TAKING FOREVER AND YOU’RE GIVING ME HEADACHES!” Maybe you and Haechan were getting a bit loud, but your roommate was just shouting like she was about to march on a war so you didn’t really have the choice. It was either take your boyfriend’s apology or have your roommate kill both you and your boyfriend at the same time.

Haechan sheepishly and annoyingly smiled at you. “She’s got a point, you know.”

But, of course, he does learn his lesson from time-to-time so things don’t always end up in fights. And Haechan can be considerate, if he wants, noticing the little things that you do. Like when you’re wearing a new skirt (or new underwear, for that matter), giving you his jacket when you sniffle from the cold (as cheesy as that sounds, it does make your heart flutter a bit), or intertwining your fingers together when you’re nervous before your presentation.

Hopefully today this considerate version of his comes out to play again because there’s something you want to talk about with him.

“I think I need to start looking for a part-time job,” you say, sighing contently as he has his lips on your neck, suckling on the soft skin. Your fingers are playing with the soft strands of his hair, unconsciously tugging at them when he brings his tongue into the game. You know it’s not really the best time to have this conversation—especially not when he has his hand under your shirt as you sit on his lap at the back of his car—but with Haechan, it’s almost always like this whenever you’re alone with him so you don’t really have that many options. “I’m running out of money.”

“From dumping too many dead bodies in the swamp?” He chuckles next to your ear, unbuttoning more of your shirt and pushing the fabric off your shoulder. “Babe, I’ve told you,” he mouths against your skin. “You gotta search for a new swamp that’s free of charge—”

“Shut up.” But you’re laughing anyway. This inside joke you two have has become somewhat of a routine—a topic that pops out anytime in any conversation.

You can feel his grin pressing against the sensitive skin below your ear. “Told ya this swamp thing could be our thing.”

“No, I’m serious.” But despite that, you have to hold back a moan when you feel his hand roaming around your chest, his fingers slipping underneath your bra. You can’t tell him exactly why you need this job because you don’t want him to feel sorry for you. But the truth is, your parents back home have been having financial problems and you know how costly your college tuition can get. You just want to help out, even if it’s not much, and try to survive on your own without using your parents’ money. “I need some pocket money.”

Haechan has your earlobe between his teeth, his breathing feels warm and extremely sexy in your ears. “Mmm, for what?”

“To buy personal things.”

“What personal things?”

“Like…” You bite your lower lip, having the hardest time concentrating when he starts to play with your nipple, his thumb brushing against the sensitive bud. “I don’t know, like girl things.”

Haechan suddenly pulls away, looking you straight in the eyes with his own gleaming in excitement. “You mean like a customized dildo?”

“Make-up, Donghyuck.” You flatly stare back. All your sexual excitement from before? Gone. “I mean, make-up.”

“Sure, that too. But,” he insists and you roll your eyes, knowing where this is going. “Have you ever considered playing with a dildo in your spare time? Because I have. I mean, picturing you using it. Not me using it in my ass, oh God, no.”

“Are you done?”

“No, seriously.” It turns out, he’s not finished. And he still has a long way to go, judging by the enthusiastic look in his eyes. “Because I would totally buy it for you if it’s a dildo you need. Or any sex toys, for that matter. No matter how expensive it is, I’ll pay! I’ll save up some money and buy some so we can use them together in the future!”

He’s making it look like he’s talking about buying a house for your future marriage and it’s cute and disgusting at the same time so you stop him by pinching the bridge of his nose. It’s pathetic, the way he whines, but as long as it can stop him from sputtering nonsense, you’ll do it again.

“Why do you need make-up anyway?” He eventually gives up, rubbing his red nose, still wincing from the pain. “You’re already pretty without it.” And it really does sound sincere, the way he says it. Haechan flirts a lot, even when you’ve been together for months, he still does it pretty often. But he does have his sincerity from time to time, just like now, and you can’t help but blush a little because of it.

“Well, I’m more confident with it.”

“Well, of course, you do look smoking hot with your make-up on, don’t get me wrong,” he adds, lazily circling his arms around your waist as he leans his back to the car’s seat. “But you’re beautiful the way you are too. Like, you literally can wear that I woke up like this shirt every morning and you won’t find me complaining.”

“You complained about my morning breath this morning.”

“That you should work on.”

“Asshole.” You push a palm against his face, which he licks playfully like a dog. This is your favorite Haechan, if you have to be honest, with his lips pulled back showcasing a boyish grin, his eyes sparkling as he gazes at you, and his voice sounding light and airy with a hint of teasing in his words. And of course, also with the way he has his hair slightly pushed back, his forehead shown and his eyebrows raised whenever he throws flirty lines at you.

You really should consider yourself lucky to be able to call someone like him, who has the perfect balance of cute and sexy, as your boyfriend.

“I really like you,” you say, abruptly out of nowhere that it surprises you too. Haechan’s laughter stops almost immediately, his eyes searching yours. There’s silence hanging in the air, slowly suffocating you, and you’re about to beg him to say something when he smiles, so gentle and soft, with his hand reaching up to cup your cheek, rubbing comforting circles with his thumb.

“I really like you too,” he says, almost like he’s sighing. His eyes go up-and-down your face, switching from your eyes and your lips. “I like you so much that it drives me crazy sometimes.”

It’s insane how fast he can turn your steady heart rate into something that beats too loudly for your ears. “Okay, stop right there. I can’t with all this cheesiness you’re throwing at me. Let’s just make-out.”

And that sexy smirk of his grows back almost immediately. “I won’t argue with that.”

***

It’s not easy getting a job these days, especially when you don’t really have a set of skills you can be proud of but luckily enough, you’ve found a part-time job as a waiter at a family restaurant nearby. The salary is slightly below your expectation so maybe you have to recalculate your budgeting again but beggars can’t be choosers. You thought it should be enough for now. And the most important thing is, you only have to work three days a week so you can fit in well with your campus’ schedule.

The only remaining problem is your boyfriend because, believe it or not, he demands more time than all of your classes and assignments combined.

“I can’t believe we have our Netflix account renewed like two months ago and yet we haven’t watched anything on it,” Haechan complains, a bag of popcorn on his lap. He’s in his black sweat pants, hair all tousled from lying around on the bed all day. He’s already munching more than he should, even way before you can log in to your Netflix account. “At this point, we’re just throwing our money away.”

“Don’t blame me,” you retort, taking the bowl into your arms so you can climb into his lap, snuggling close to his chest. “I’m not the one who got my dick hard during the first half of literally every movie we decided to watch together.”

“You literally rubbed your ass against my crotch every single time. What a man gotta do in that situation?”

A smile creeps up your face. That you certainly did. It’s just so funny to have him flinch every now and then whenever you move slightly in his arms so you often just exaggerate your movements a bit, sometimes leaning forward in a suggestive way whenever you tried to change the brightness of your MacBook screen—so Haechan could take a good look of your ass—before settling back between his legs, making sure to give him enough friction as you slid down. Or sometimes you just laid your head on his shoulder, pressing a random kiss to his neck, and just went back to watching the screen as if you didn’t do anything. It really didn’t take long before Haechan groaned in exasperation, threw the bowl away, tackled you down to the bed, and pulled your shorts down your legs.

“Should I move away then?” You offer. “We can stay, like, five feet apart from each other as we watch this.”

“Nah.” He shakes his head, pulling you closer again to his chest. “I like to snuggle. You’re warm and you smell really good, it comforts me. Besides, having sex with you is so much better than watching every movie out there.”

“Even better than watching The Kissing Booth?”

“Yah!” The way his cheeks turn scarlet almost immediately is too cute for you to handle. “You promised you wouldn’t make fun of me! See, this is why I—”

You cut him off with a chaste kiss, letting your lips linger on his the way he likes it before you pull away and pat him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. Forgive me?”

Haechan unconsciously juts his lower lip out, just a little. “Fine,” he mutters, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist before he skims his nose along the nape of your neck. “Only because you’re cute,” he whispers.

“Oh right, that reminds me,” you say, closing your eyes as you listen to his breathing. It’s somewhat calming your nerves, after a long day of doing… well, nothing, actually. “I’ll be busy every Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday from now on so we won’t be able to hang out during those days.”

“What?!” He shrieks, almost turning you deaf. “Why?!”

“Because I have my part-time job, didn’t I tell you that before?” You can honestly hear your ears ringing from the loudness of his voice. “Or did you not listen to me again?”

“I can handle it if you work during the weekdays, but on the weekends too?” He’s actually looking pretty upset, though not that you haven’t expected him to be. “That’s our time! How can you do that to me? To us?! This is so not fair!”

You roll your eyes. “Stop being a drama queen. You literally spent the last weekend playing Overwatch at Jaemin’s place.”

“Whoa, hey,” he crows, pulling away from you with both hands raised in the air and forcing you to turn and look at him in the eyes. You do it as you nonchalantly munch on your popcorn, enjoying how dramatic your boyfriend can be at times like this. “Once again, lady,” he stresses on the word, narrowing his eyes at you. “They were holding a very, very important Anniversary Event and that does not happen every day. It’s not like I have any other choice! They were giving out new skins and other rewards!”

“Your choice was to spend your Saturday night with your fingers on your keyboard or in me. That was your choice.”

Haechan opens his mouth to say something, already holding out one finger in the air as if he’s about to make a good excuse but he fails almost immediately when your point begins to sink in his head. “You’re right,” he admits, “I’m sorry. What was I thinking? I should’ve been wiser.”

You pat his hair as you would do to a child. “Look, we can still hang out. I only work during the day, you know. You can always pick me up after work and we can get dinner together or something.”

He pouts, lowering his head as he murmurs, “It’s still not the same, though. I like spending time with you.”

You can feel your heart flutter from the way he says his line so genuinely. “Me too, Haechannie. Let’s just promise to always meet up on the weekends after I’m done with my work.”

The pout still does not falter away but it’s nothing a kiss can’t fix.

***

“Haechannie, I really need to go.” You struggle to slip yourself away from his long arms, holding back a laugh as you do it, and you almost reach the end of his bed but your boyfriend easily hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you back into his chest.

After not seeing each other for five days, you could finally see your boyfriend with his dazzling bright smile in person when he picked you up after work on a Saturday evening. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed him until he snatched you back into his embrace, intoxicating you with his amazing scent and airy laughter that sounds like music to your ears. It was a good thing being separated for a few days like that because Haechan became much more clingy in the most adorable way, following you around like a lovesick puppy. Even during sex, he was all giggly and soft, gently asking you how you feel, whether he was being too fast, or simply just telling you how beautiful you look even when you were pretty much exhausted from work. It was a nice change.

Both of you are still pretty much naked from the morning shower you just took together—or rather, the morning shower you took when suddenly your boyfriend came barging in, greasily saying, “My, my, there’s a naked lady in my shower. This must be my lucky day,” and ended up moaning against your mouth instead of washing the soap off your body.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he says, smiling into the kiss just like you do and you let him part your lips with his, slowly slipping his tongue in and tasting the roof of your mouth. “Oh man, I must be a freak for being so turned on from the fact that you’re wearing my shampoo.”

“You’ve always been a freak,” you snicker, pushing his face away with your palm. “Now, get off me. Jaemin can come back any second.”

“Jaemin’s too busy sucking Jeno’s morning wood, I’m sure. He won’t be back anytime soon.”

“Well, my shift is starting in thirty minutes.”

“Which leaves us twenty-nine minutes and fifty seconds to get each other off and ten seconds for you to get ready.” He lowly chuckles, his voice still sounding quite deep from sleep as he nips against the column of your neck.

“I’m serious…” You can tell that your voice becomes way less convincing. It’s just Haechan feels so warm and he smells so good, you have to literally offer your best effort to deny him and his touches. You’re still in the middle of putting in that so-called effort when you notice he’s sucking on the supple skin, to the point it begins to hurt a little bit. “Don’t suck too hard! You’ll leave bruises and I am not gonna wear a scarf again.”

“Good,” he murmurs against your skin. “So everyone will know you’re mine.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

You sigh, tangling your fingers around his hair, arching your back to press your body closer to him. “You can be too possessive sometimes, do you know that?”

“Any man would if their girlfriend is as pretty as you,” he replies, pulling away from you a little so he can bore his eyes into yours. “Stay with me today.”

As much as you want to, especially with that hooded eyes looking at you with so much passion and desire, you have to be the responsible adult for today. “I can’t, Haechannie.”

“Noona~” His serious demeanor falters, and the whiny brat that he is comes back to the surface again. “Pleaseeee~ I’m lonely and I’m hard, can’t you just be kind to me for just one day?”

“Are you using your aegyo on me to get a quickie? Seriously?”

“What, it’s not working?” He tilts his head to the side, looking at you with that sexy smirk and his eyebrow raised seductively. “I thought aegyo was your thing.”

No, but your goddamn smirk and eyebrow raise surely are. “Fuck, okay, ten minutes. Can we finish in ten minutes?”

“I can guarantee that you will.” His smirk grows wider, licking his lower lip. “But I’m not sure if you can make me.”

“Is that a challenge?” You push him with both hands until he falls back to the bed, with you straddling his lap. “I’m going to make you take your words back, Lee Donghyuck, you better be prepared.”

***

You’ve broken two plates so far, and you’re sure you’re about to be fired if you even do a tiny mistake in the next hour but you try to keep yourself calm and composed and promise yourself to do better. It’s not that you’re a lousy waiter—okay, maybe a bit from the lack of experience—but the restaurant you’re working in can be surprisingly packed during lunch hours and it’s really taking all that you have to carry three porcelain plates on a tray as you walk on high heels that are killing you in every step you take. You often complain about the blisters at the back of your heels when you sit next to Haechan in his car, which usually ends up with him massaging your feet, while mumbling, “See, this is why you should’ve agreed with me when I told you about buying dildos. I would work my ass off to pay for that, and you can just lie around in my room all day.”

You’re getting better at your job the more days go by, and you’re much confident now in talking with customers. You’re already standing pretty in your uniform with a menu book in your arms, ready to greet the next customer but when the front door opens, all of your professionalism just goes straight out of the window.

“No way…” Your jaw hangs loosely on your face, eyes blinking twice in surprise. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. There, walking through the entrance door of the restaurant, is your ex-boyfriend from high school, Jeong Jaehyun. Dressed perfectly in a light blue buttoned-up shirt and a pair of black khaki pants, Jaehyun looks much, much better than how you remembered him to be. His dark hair stands in contrast to his pale skin, his veins appearing along his wrists and you have to remind yourself to stop staring and proceed with your work.

You take hesitant steps to meet him, swallowing your nervous breath and hoping that you don’t look as awkward as you think. You almost trip on your own feet when you notice Jaehyun looking back at you, his eyes widening in surprise before his lips turn upward into that gentle smile that reminds you of how he used to be back in high school. Maybe some things never change.

“Hi,” you greet with an awkward smile on your face.

“Hey.” The way his eyes droop slightly when he sees you feels nostalgic, and perhaps he’s much taller now because you have to look up to meet his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you. It’s been a while.”

“You’re right,” you reply, chuckling a little to mask how tense you really are. “Would you like me to take you to your seat?”

“Oh no, I won’t be long,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I just wanted to talk to the manager for a sec.”

You furrow your eyebrows, trying your best not to get distracted with the way his hair ruffles almost perfectly under his touch. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, just wanted to see the latest financial report.” He smiles, showcasing his teeth. “My grandfather owns this place, and I’m helping him take care of the business while he’s overseas.”

Fuck. “A-ah, is that so?” Meeting him once as a customer is already painfully awkward enough for you to bear, but actually working for him?!

“I won’t bother you, I promise,” Jaehyun immediately adds, “I wasn’t aware that you work here, actually. Has it been long since you started?”

“About two weeks.” You fidget on your feet, having the hardest time making eye contact with him. “And I’m not very good at this.”

“Wait, are you the one who keeps breaking plates?”

You wince. “Yes. Can you please not fire me? I’ll pay for them, I promise.”

And Jaehyun laughs, his deep voice booming into the air. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pay for them myself if that’s what it takes to keep you around.” He says his lines so naturally that it surprises you both when the words finally sink in. “I—I mean,” he clears his throat, “It’s just really been a while since I last saw you so I thought we should really catch up on things. How are you?”

“I’m—”

“Boss,” your manager suddenly comes to interrupt, carrying some paper sheets in her arms. “These are the reports you wanted. I can e-mail you the rest if you need more details.” And when she sees you standing next to Jaehyun with the worst looking smile you’ve ever had on your face, she squints her eyes menacingly at you, “What did you do this time?”

“She didn’t do anything,” Jaehyun hastily answers before you can even form a word of protest. “She’s a dear friend of mine. It’s been a while since we talked, so do you mind if I borrow her for a while?”

Your manager seems utterly shocked and you kind of dance happily in your mind because she’s been kind of mean to you—though you were the one who gave her the reasons to be—and seeing her speechless, only able to mumble out a small, “S-sure,” before she trails away back to her office like this becomes the highlight of your day.

“Thank you,” you say to him, not sure why but it feels right.

“Let me know if she bullies you again,” he says, gently patting you on the head and you can feel his fingers slowly brush your bangs off your temple. It seems like he’s unaware of what he’s doing and you can understand why because that’s just his habit, even from the time when you hadn’t started dating yet. You remember the time when he said he liked your eyes—he thought they were beautiful, and hiding them under your bangs like that was a shame.

You take a step back, looking anywhere but his eyes. “Umm…”

“Right, sorry,” he fumbles with his hands, the tip of his ears growing red. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Can we just sit and talk?”

You smile, genuinely this time. He really hasn’t changed despite his appearance. “Sure.”

***

Jaehyun doesn’t visit the restaurant every day and you don’t really expect him to, but when he does, he always spares some time to talk to you privately—usually during your break time so your manager can stop throwing ice daggers from her eyes at you.

“I’ve tried to call you after graduation,” he confesses as he takes you out for some coffee at the nearest cafe. Your shift is over and you’re waiting for Haechan to pick you up but he’s running late because he has to take a quiz that he missed from skipping the class the previous week—you guess it had something to do with him pulling an all-nighter playing Overwatch again—and you told him to take his time.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Several times, actually, but I couldn’t get connected.”

“Maybe you called after I lost my phone,” you reply, taking a sip of your hot latte and wincing when it nearly scalds your tongue. “I had to change my number. I lost my contacts and everything.”

“That makes sense. Would it be okay if I ask for your numbers now?”

“Only for business purposes,” you tease, and he grins back, almost boyishly.

“Only for business purposes,” he confirms, “Just so I can give you a heads-up when I’m about to fire you.”

You gasp, half-amused, half-terrified. “Please tell me you’re joking.” And he only responds with another laugh. Talking with Jaehyun is easy and comforting, and he really listens to what you’re saying like a loving older brother taking care of his sister. It’s a nice change considering it’s always you who have to act like the mature one when having a conversation with Haechan—not that it isn’t good. It just can get quite tiring after some time.

Jaehyun is in the middle of walking you back to your workplace when he tells you stories about the things he did after graduation, and how he’s planning to continue with his study overseas to get a master’s degree in business management as soon as he’s done with his work here. You’re so entranced with his story that you barely notice your boyfriend waiting with his back pressed against the side of his car, eyes busy staring at his phone screen.

“Haechannie, you’re here!” You run to his spot, a grin spreading wide on your face before you lean up and kiss his cheek.“When did you get here?”

“Noonaaaaa,” he pouts, voice becoming whiny as usual. Compared to how he acts, he’s dressed maturely in a white shirt and a black leather jacket, his silver necklace hanging low on his neck. It takes you a good five seconds to ogle at his amazing looks while telling your heart not to get too excited. At least not until you get back at the dorm so you can rip that shirt off him with your own hands. “I’ve been calling you three times already. Where have you been?”

“You have?” You immediately check on your phone, noticing that yes, in fact, he did call you three times. You didn’t notice before because your phone was on silent. “I’m sorry, I forgot to switch it back after work. Did you wait long?”

“A bit,” he pushes his bottom lip out but it soon turns into a cheeky grin. “But nothing a kiss can’t fix.”

“Haechannie.” You pat him softly on his cheek. “We’ve got company.” And at that, he begins to widen his line of sight—because he usually just focuses on you and forgets his surroundings—and spots Jaehyun standing a few meters behind you with his hands buried deep within the pockets of his pants.

“Oh,” he comments, acting nonchalant though you notice by the slight raise of his eyebrow that he’s already annoyed by his presence. “Who are you?”

It’s kind of rude to suddenly ask for his name, especially in the cold tone Haechan is using and Jaehyun’s lips twitch at his words. “Jeong Jaehyun.”

“Well, Jeong Jaehyun,” Haechan says with mockery on his tone, straightening his posture and you wonder whether it’s because he feels slightly inferior to Jaehyun’s height. “My girlfriend and I would like some privacy from now on, so if you can just run along now, that’d be great.”

“Hey!” You slap his shoulder, gasping in disbelief before you turn around to face the other man. “I’m sorry, he can be quite rude sometimes but I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Meant it with all my heart.”

“Be quiet.” And even Haechan can tell for his own good that he shouldn’t push your buttons further than that.

“It’s okay, I have to go anyway,” Jaehyun casually says, smiling angelically like how he always does though his eyes don’t really play along. “Your boyfriend is cute. How old are you? Does your mom know you’re still playing outside at this hour?”

Oh my God, not you too. You immediately grab Haechan’s hand to stop him before he flings himself forward and throws an arm toward the other man. You can see him clenching his jaw, almost baring his teeth when Jaehyun laughs quietly to himself, saying, “I’m just kidding. Have a good night, you two,” before he walks back to the restaurant, most likely to have another business talk with the manager.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Haechan blurts out, his eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. You stroke his arm, trying to soothe him down but what he does is relocating his glare on you instead, almost yelling, “Why were you with him? How many times have you guys seen each other? And why on earth did you take his side?!”

You’re too tired to care, to be honest, let alone answering him. You’re also suffering from the cold of the night, wanting desperately to climb into Haechan’s car and put on the heater to warm yourself up. “I’ll explain on our way back,” you sniffle, squeezing his hand. “Can we get inside the car? Please? I’m freezing.”

You can tell he’s still very much upset but his gaze softens when he sees puffs of air flowing from your chapped lips and your nose turning red. He sighs into the air but opens the door for you. He doesn’t really talk until he has his engine started, and you can practically see steam coming out from his ears as he drives into the night.

“Have you had dinner yet?” You ask, trying to keep as casual as you can.

“No.”

“Should we order something—”

“I’m not hungry.”

“O… kay…” You hold yourself back from sighing too loud. He’s testing your patience again, but it’s fine, you’re the mature one. You can handle this. “We’ll just go straight back to my place then. I’m sure I can make you something. I think I still have some pasta with—”

“I think I’m just gonna go back to my room right after I drop you off.” His words don’t hurt as much as the tone he’s using. You’re trying to patch things up even though you’re sure you haven’t done anything wrong but he’s not even trying to apologize about how rude he acted earlier. You can’t help but snap, probably because your fatigue is taking its toll. You figure you can act mature any other time, but not today.

“Okay, what is wrong with you?” You can feel your voice rising and it forces him to sneaks a glance at you but only for a split second before he brings back his eyes on the road again. “I’ve been trying to be nice to you but you keep on acting like a brat—”

“Oh, of course, now you have a problem with me being a brat.” He grits his teeth, sinking his nails into the steering wheel. “I think we both know that’s pretty much how I act around you—around anyone, really—and if I remember it clearly, you said being a brat was part of my charm. That was, of course, before you met this oh-so-mature Jung fucking Jaehyun and suddenly, now, I’m fucking annoying.”

“I didn’t just meet him, Hyuck.” You exhale loudly, rolling your eyes. “I’ve been friends with him since high school.”

He clicks his tongue in aggravation, quietly adding, “Friends that fucked each other whenever your parents weren’t around, I’m sure.” And he probably didn’t mean his words to be heard because he just said them out of spite, but you did hear him and it makes your blood sparks in fury.

“Actually, yes,” you jeer back, “We did. He was the one who took my virginity away, just so you know and—WHOA!”

The sudden turn of the wheels makes you yelp and scramble to wrap your fingers tightly around your seatbelt as if you were hanging for dear life, and Haechan suddenly stomps his feet on the brakes, messily parking his car on the side of the street and earning a lot of angry car honks from the drivers behind him in return.

“What?!” He shouts, eyes wide, completely ignoring the passerby or the fact that you’re still trying to catch your breath. “You had sex with him?!”

“Once, Donghyuck, Jesus Christ!” You almost yank every strand of your hair out of your head. “Just once! And I never did that with anyone else until I met you!”

“I can’t believe you never told me this! And now you just hang around with him behind my back?!”

“What’s there to tell?! It’s in the past, way back when I didn’t even know your name. It’s not like you tell me things like this too. I don’t have problems with you sleeping with hundreds of girls before you met me.”

The sudden silence that surrounds you snap you back to reality and you regret everything you just said because you know you didn’t mean it. Well, it certainly has been bugging you for quite some time whenever you think about how easy and casual he’s always been when it comes to sex—not to mention how experienced he is—so you can’t help but wonder. You do understand that it’s not fair blurting about it to him like this, though. Especially not in this situation.

And the way he just suddenly becomes mute almost makes you shudder.

“Hyuck, I didn’t mean—”

“So that’s how you think of me?” He asks, voice low and deep. “Is that the reason why you’re seeing him? Because you don’t trust me?”

“Oh my God, Donghyuck,” you almost scream from all this frustration you’re venting out. “This is getting out of hand. Okay, first, that was wrong of me to say that and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. And second, stop being so jealous—I was only out with him to get some coffee. We no longer have feelings for each other, I can assure you that.”

“Yeah,” he snorts, “Sure. Whatever.”

“Hyuck, he’s my boss! I was just being polite—”

“Well, that’s just fucking great, isn’t it? No wonder you keep insisting on taking this job. It’s not even about the money now, is it?” He slams his hand against the steering wheel, groaning out, “I’m so fucking stupid,” before he throws his head to the side, glaring at the scenery outside his window instead of you.

There’s silence hanging in the air again and you take a deep breath to calm yourself as much as you can because you know where this is going. You just hope you’re wrong. “Why does it sound like you’re accusing me of cheating on you?”

“Because maybe deep down, that’s what you’re doing?” He’s not even looking at you when he says it, but the bitterness in his voice is clear and it’s loud enough to finally tweak the final string of patience you have left in you.

So you grab your purse, carry your jacket in one arm and step down from the car. “I’m taking a cab,” you say and when he still doesn’t look at you, you add, “Come talk to me when you’re mature enough to have this conversation.”

And not knowing your own strength, you slam the door until his ears begin to ring.

***

It’s the worst fight you’ve ever had, not just with him but with anyone else too. You’re more the type that avoids situations like this—one that says sorry even when you know you’re not doing anything wrong just to reduce the tension, so this fight you’re having with Haechan has been ruining your mood for a whole damn week since day one. And the fact that he doesn’t come to apologize or even send a text or two is driving you insane.

You can’t help but to dwell in his way of thinking, trying to see whether it’s really your fault that this is happening. Yes, maybe you should’ve explained better, but he wasn’t really giving you the chance to do it, was he? And yes, maybe you should’ve told him about you hanging out with Jaehyun every now and then or the fact that he’s your boss but you just couldn’t find the right timing before. Well, it’s certainly too late to start now.

Should I call him…?

Because you miss him. You miss Haechan so badly. You miss his bratty smile, you miss his annoying whine, you miss his stupid dazzling smile, you miss his scent, his kiss, his embrace—everything about him. You didn’t realize how close he was to you—already becoming a big part of your life—and you just really notice it now when he’s completely out of your sight.

“Fuck this.” You’re in the middle of searching his name in your contacts and about to press dial when suddenly you get his message.

Can we meet tomorrow?

It’s really weird that a simple text can make your heart race and almost send you jumping in delight. Trying to keep your heart rate back to normal, you type back.

Of course. What time? Where?

You wait for his reply and it seems like the time suddenly slows down where seconds feel like hours. You nibble at your bottom lip, hesitating at first but sending it anyway.

I miss you, Haechannie.

Your heart starts hammering against your ribcage again. A lot of thoughts begin entering your mind at the same time, making you worry about what if he wants to meet me because he wants to break up with me? What if he doesn’t miss me and he’s grossed out with my text? What if—

His reply arrives with a slight ding coming from your phone, and with shaky hands, you open his text.

I’ll text you the time and place tomorrow morning.

There’s a disappointment that bubbles up inside your chest but the next text from him erases all of that almost instantly.

I miss you too, Noona. Good night.

And you think that maybe tonight, you can finally have a good sleep.

***

“Can you fill in for tonight?”

It’s the first thing your manager said to you the second you stepped inside the restaurant. You haven’t even taken your jacket yet, and it’s really rare to see your manager walking around the place on a Sunday morning but here she is, and she’s already ordering things around.

Your mouth suddenly feels dry. “Pardon?”

“There will be a banquet tonight for the Jeong family and we need every waiter we can get. I know you’re lousy at your job but Jaehyun-Sajangnim seems to like you so I hope you can stick longer for a few hours.”

“I…” You wet your lower lip anxiously. “I can’t. I already promised someone—”

“Look, this is not a request. It’s an order.” She seems like she’s running out of patience. “But I’ll pay handsomely for your time. I think you need the money to pay for those two plates you broke anyway. You know how expensive they are.”

You wince. “Yes, Ma’am.” It’s not like she’s leaving you with any other option. You figure you can call Haechan later during your break time. It’s still not confirmed anyway, your date with him. You’ll think of a way to make it up to him.

It’s only for a few hours anyway, right?

I’ll just text him now. You dip your hand into your purse, trying to find your iPhone as fast as you can. You run your fingers along the screen, typing letters with your thumbs.

Haechannie, something came up and I have to stay longer at work. I’ll see you later tonight at your place and we can talk then.

“What are you doing standing around like that?” Your manager suddenly shouts and you almost drop your phone in surprise. “Go and change your uniform now, we’re opening the place in ten minutes!”

“Y-yes, Ma’am!” You fumble with your steps, throwing your phone back into your purse in a hurry. You inwardly sigh. Today is going to be a long day.

I’m sorry, Haechannie.

***

“Great work today,” Jaehyun says when most of his family members have left the restaurant. You didn’t realize how big and wealthy his family was so it amazed you that one family could occupy the whole seatings they have in this place. There were more than thirty people in the room before and you had to change your high heels into a pair of flat shoes so you can run from one table to another while carrying several plates at once.

“Not really, I almost broke another plate today,” you respond with a sigh, which earns a low chuckle in return. Jaehyun has his back leaning against the wall just an arms reach away from the front door, waiting for you to finish shoving all your belongings into your bag before he curls his fingers around the doorknob and twists it open.

“Thanks,” you say, almost sheepishly because it looks weird, no matter how you see it—your boss is opening the door for you. “Stop being so nice, Jae, you’re making other staff jealous.”

“But I do this to all my staff,” Jaehyun snickers, following after your trail.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hey,” he calls, placing his hand on your shoulder so you’ll stop on your track and turn around to face him. “Thank you.”

You raise your eyebrow questioningly. “For what?”

“For acting like how you normally do around me,” he explains, smiling a little bit bashfully. “For not being so awkward after our break-up.”

“Oh… Well…” You try to focus your gaze somewhere else, suddenly finding the silver watch you wear around your wrist entertaining. “It’s been years since then, I think we both have moved on by now, right?”

There’s a thick tension growing between the two of you and you almost beg him to say something before it starts to suffocate you.

“Sure,” he says, but the pressure in his tone speaks otherwise. You look up to meet his eyes, expecting him to smile and bring another topic into the conversation, but all he does is just gazing at you with these gentle, almost longing eyes that make your heart stops for a split second.

You know this can’t go any further.

“Well, uhh,” Jaehyun clears his throat, running a hand through his hair, perhaps feeling rather embarrassed himself. “It’s already late. Do you want me to escort you back to your place?”

And you find it hard to form a sentence, still somewhat baffled from the way he’s acting around you, and you’re so unfocused that when another voice enters your hearing, it shocks you down to your spine.

“I’ll be taking her from here,” Haechan says, startling you both and you turn around so fast on your heel to face him that you almost stumble forward. Your boyfriend is standing with one hand carrying a black suit and another one digging inside the pocket of his pants, dressed nicely in a white buttoned up with sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He has the top two buttons of his shirt loosened, showing a glimpse of his collar bones and the silver necklace he usually hangs around his neck. His short brown hair is parted to the side, slightly pushed back to showcase his temple. You’ve never seen him dressed so sharp and elegantly before since the first day you met him and you can’t help but feel a little bit starstruck from the way he looks. But you soon realize that there must be a reason why he’s so dressed up and you feel terrible because you don’t know what it is.

What day is it today?

“Haechan—”

The way he grabs your hand shows how agitated he actually is despite the calm facade he places on his face, and it’s glaringly possessive the way he drags you to match his step on the way to his car but you follow him without a word, not even sparing a glance at Jaehyun who’s looking at him as if he just stole something important from him. Haechan opens the door to the passenger seat, and you climb in with your heart thrumming loud against your chest.

Haechan walks to the other side without making eye contact with Jaehyun but even at that point, your ex-boyfriend doesn’t dare to say a word or make a move, probably because he knows he has no right to do so. Haechan does not look angry and neither does he act like it but the quietness that fills the space between you, even when his car engine is blaring noisily outside, speaks louder than everything that he does.

“Umm.” You suddenly feel parched, your throat burning with every word you try to form. “T-thank you for picking me up.” You’re about to flinch from how terrible you just sounded. “I thought you were waiting at the dorm. Didn’t you get my text?”

It takes a few seconds that feel like forever for him to answer. “I don’t know, did you send me one?” He simply asks, voice flat and nonchalant, as he switches the gears of his car.

Did I not? You gulp in horror and begin to frantically search for your phone in your purse. Your heart almost leaps out from your chest when you see your phone is dead, probably ran out of battery sometimes during your hectic hours. You didn’t check on it before because you thought that Haechan most likely had seen your text and was waiting for you at the dorm, so you decided to just run in a hurry without texting him that your shift had ended. You were also busy talking with Jaehyun and felt it wouldn’t be polite for you to check on your phone while he was around.

But, as you connect your phone to your power bank, turning it on, and run your thumbs along the screen, you notice one thing: you didn’t send him anything.

“I’m—” A shiver runs down your spine. “I’m sure I texted you before—why—” You remember how your manager suddenly interrupted you when you were about to send the text. You must have forgotten to press send, and seeing how there are suddenly a lot of messages coming to your phone at once from him makes your heart drop to the floor.

I’ve made a reservation at Boccalino at 7 p.m. I know how you’ve always wanted to go there. Wear something nice.

Where are you now? Are you still at work? Do you want me to pick you up?

You’re probably busy at work. I’ll just see you at our table, okay? Don’t be late.

I haven’t heard from you. Where are you? I’m on my way to the restaurant to make sure our reservation is still on.

All my calls are going straight to voicemails. Where are you?

You’re an hour late. Where are you?!

You can feel the tremble in your fingertips as you hold your phone, your eyes running back and forth in horror. Haechan still doesn’t speak a word, focusing his eyes entirely on the road that lays in front of him.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Even though you know you’re already so out of line and probably won’t be forgiven anytime soon, you still apologize because what else can you say? “I didn’t realize my phone was dead. And I was sure I’d texted you but—”

“It’s fine,” he says as he props his elbow against his window, rubbing the side of his temple with his fingertips. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

And with that, the conversation ends. Your thoughts are running fast, trying to come up with a better apology or find a way to patch things up but you can’t. The more plans you make, the more you hate yourself for being so stupid and ruin this whole thing for him. The drive back to your dorm is filled with nothing but silence, and you spend the entire time counting the street light that glows faintly on the side of the road.

You do notice something, though. Haechan’s phone keeps on making little sounds, notifying him that he’s receiving text messages and chats. There was also a phone call which he ignored even when the street light was red, only saying, “I’ll just call back later,” when you nervously ask him about it.

It’s when he walks you back to your dorm, that you begin to gain the courage to ask about it. “You’re getting awfully a lot of texts today.”

“They just want to congratulate me,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets so you can’t take a hold of any of them as you walk beside him.

“On what?”

“My birthday.”

You wish the earth could just swallow you whole because how fucking ignorantly stupid can you be? It’s the sixth of June today, and you were so busy dealing with the fight and minding your own business that you forgot the birthday of the most important person in your life right now. You can feel how your legs almost give out under your weight, your head’s spinning.

And apparently, you’re doing it again, so lost in your own thoughts that Haechan has to say, “We’re here,” to snap you back to reality. You’re now standing gawkily in front of the door to your room, palms getting sweaty from how nervous you are. Haechan murmurs something about seeing you later and you’re about to burst into tears from how terrible you feel for him so you hastily grab him by his wrist, fingers almost sinking into his skin from how desperate you’re being.

“Stay with me,” you beg with quivers in your voice. “Please, just—I need to talk to you.”

Haechan stares at you with cold eyes, his jaw clenching slightly. But he doesn’t pull back his arm and follows your trail with heavy steps as you step inside your room. He closes the door behind him and leans his back against it, still not saying anything.

You’re so occupied with trying to form a coherent sentence that you forget to be thankful about how your roommate is away for the weekend again, providing you the opportunity to have the entire room for yourself. You decide to not make any excuses and apologize for every little dumb thing you’ve been doing for the whole day—no, for a whole week even, since the time your fight started. But no matter what you say, Haechan is staring at you with lifeless eyes, as if he’s just too tired to listen—as if he just no longer cares.

And that scares the life out of you.

“Hyuck, please,” you whisper, closing the distance between you until you can feel his warm breath caressing your cheek. You have your palm pressing against the side of his face, “Say something.” You know it’s not right, but you lean in for a kiss. It’s not just because you’re desperate to pull an emotion out of him; it’s more because you miss him so terribly so, it’s driving you crazy.

Haechan has his eyes closed by instinct but he doesn’t kiss back, only letting your lips linger on him, sharing his breath. And though it feels like there’s a javelin slowly sinking into your chest, you try again, kissing him with more passion, hooking your arm around his neck to pull him closer. Haechan tears himself away, his gaze turning dark as he stares at you and you look at him back with desperation in your eyes.

“Haecha—”

It’s like something snaps inside him and he suddenly no longer has control over his own free will, because Haechan is now pushing your body against the door, slamming your spine against the surface none too gently with his hands on each side of your head, lips chasing after yours. You let out a gasp, both from the shock and the pain that stings from the back of your head, and he takes the opportunity to kiss you deeper, tongue delving in to explore the inside of your mouth. His fingers trail down from your cheeks to your jaw, before they rest on the sides of your neck, his fingertips probing against your veins. You’re not sure whether he does it unconsciously from the sheer excitement or something else but the way his hand is holding you by the neck, his fingers low key choking you make your adrenaline runs faster.

He doesn’t give you the chance to process every single thing that’s happening, or even breathe, for that matter. The next thing you know, he already has his hands running down to your thighs, pulling them up so you have no other choice but to tangle your legs around his waist and groan when he presses your hips together. Hearing the sound of his name tumbling down your lips in a desperate, needy moan, Haechan groans at the back of his throat, his hands moving up to palm your breasts before they start to struggle with your shirt.

You’re doing the same thing, just as eager to get him out of his white shirt so you can latch your lips on his smooth sun-kissed skin. But unlike you who struggle to unbutton his shirt one by one, Haechan’s patience is wearing thin so he ends up just ripping your uniform, buttons clattering down to the floor.

“Wait, Hyuck—” You’re forced to swallow whatever it is you’re trying to say when Haechan sinks his teeth down to the skin that connects your neck to your shoulder, pushing the fabric of your shirt down to expose more of your bare skin. Your whole body shudders, clutching to him with every strength you have. It hurts, the way he bites and nibbles along your sensitive skin, but at the same time, it sends electricity down to every inch of your body.

“Do you have any idea how fucking pissed I am right now?” He says in a low, dangerous voice as he gnaws around your earlobe. “Turn around.”

With his nails sinking into your hips, he forces you to turn on your heel, pressing the side of your face against the door and tears your shirt away from your body. He doesn’t immediately take off your bra like he usually does, and instead focusing first on slipping his fingers underneath the band, thumbs glossing over your hardened nipples as he applies wet kisses on your nape. You almost let out a sob when his hand travels south, raking his fingers against your stomach before he takes off your skirt in such a hurry, leaving you in nothing but your black stockings and your laced panties.

Your entire body jolts when he slips a hand between your legs, rubbing you over your underwear before he suddenly pushes the fabric down and runs his fingertips along your folds.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he whispers in your ear, his breath fanning your neck. “I’m surprised you like being treated like this.” But when you cry out his name, begging for him to stop teasing you already, he chuckles lowly. “I should’ve done this sooner.”

You’re sure that you’re just reacting this way because it’s him and not anybody else and you want to tell him that but you can barely form a word with him rubbing his fingertips along your clit. “You’re actually quite dirty, aren’t you?” He brings two of his fingers to your lips, forcing you to suck them into your mouth and you oblige, knowing what he’s intending to do. You coat them with as much saliva as you can before he brings his hand down to your heat again, this time inserting one finger into your entrance with another one following soon after.

You hiss his name under your breath, becoming a little lightheaded from all this sensation you’re having at once. “What do you want me to do?” He asks tauntingly, knowing he’s in charge of everything.

“Fuck me,” you gasp, eyes tightly shut at the feeling of him finger fucking you to oblivion. “I want you inside me, Hyuck, fuck.”

“Maybe in a few minutes.” His teasing tone is back but it’s different. It’s almost menacing this time, somewhat heartless. He picks up the pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you until you find yourself biting your lip to contain your sob. “Do you know what I want?” He carves his words against your skin, taking a handful of your hair with his other free hand and yanking it back so you can’t help but face the ceiling. His lips are hovering dangerously close against your ear. “I want to fuck you raw. We’ve never done that before, have we? I want to come inside you—want to see my cum dripping down your thighs when I’m finished with you.”

Fuck. You almost cry from the temptation. “Then do it. I don’t care just—” You arch your back, sinking yourself down to his fingers, moaning against the side of his neck. “Please, just fuck me, Hyuck.”

“Good girl,” he replies and you can hear the smirk in his voice but you don’t care. He can be as cocky as he wants for the night because you secretly like it. You like how confident he is during sex, how passionate and sexy he can get, and how desperate and uncontrolled he becomes at the end. You can feel your stomach flip at the anticipation, especially when you hear him working on his belt, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down only low enough for him to free himself.

“Let me fuck your mouth first,” he demands and you find yourself succumbing to his orders, turning around to face him before you drop to your knees, the tip of his cock protruding against your lips.

Haechan is still holding himself back, you’re sure, because he lets you take your own pace at first but his dominating persona comes back almost immediately when you only give him tentative licks against his slit. “Open up,” he orders, his fingers finding home in your hair and you loosen up your jaw to take him deeper.

Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes from how hard he’s hitting the back of your throat but you try to keep up. He moves his hips, enjoying the warmth of your mouth. When you feel him twisting his fingers around the strands of your hair, you look up to see his expression. Haechan has his head thrown back in pleasure, his lips parted in a silent moan and you hum proudly to yourself when he brings his eyes down to meet yours. They’re glazed with lust and he’s so sexy like this with his breathing ragged, soft moans flowing like music to your ears. And he’s probably feeling the same about you, from the way he pushes the bangs out of your eyes, taking every detail of your face as you hollow your cheeks, swallowing when his taste falls upon your tongue.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath, “You look so perfect like this. You’re so fucking sexy, do you know that?” You hum, running your tongue along the prominent vein, giving kitten licks around the tip. Something gleams in his eyes and suddenly he commands you to stand up and pushes your body against the wall again, face first.

“Do you know how excited I was for today?” He grabs you by the waist, pushing his palm against your shoulder blades so you’ll bend lower, and positions himself against your entrance from behind. “I wanted to celebrate my birthday with you—just with you, Noona—even after our fight, I still wanted to spend it with you—”

“I know,” you gasp, thighs trembling when he rubs his tip against your folds. “I’m sorry—I was too busy with—“

“With work?” He taunts, “Or with that guy you’ve been seeing?”

“No—” A sudden yelp flows out of your mouth when he abruptly pushes himself entirely inside of you in one quick motion, his nails digging into the skin of your hips. Haechan moans a tad louder, much breathier, with his eyebrows knitted together in ecstasy. He’s more sensitive now since he’s not using a condom, directly feeling how wet and hot you are around him, how every clench makes him lose his mind and you can feel him twitching inside you. “Haechan—wait—”

He thrusts forward with such brute force, you find yourself pressed against the door. The dorm is quiet and with the way he’s slamming his hips against yours, the door making rhythmic banging noises against its frames, you’re sure you’re going to be noticed sooner or later.

“The bed—” You gasp, searching for the hands he has on your hips. “Let’s move to the bed—”

“Later,” he groans, his mind sinking in the way your heat is enveloping him.

“People can—” You have your eyes tightly shut when his thrusts get stronger. “They can hear us, Hyuck—”

He tangles his hand around your locks, making a messy ponytail out of them so he can yank on your hair as he rocks his hips faster. “I don’t fucking care,” he growls, “Let everyone know you’re mine.”

It feels fucking amazing the way he’s all breathless and rough, fucking you senselessly as if the world is ending, and it’s not long before your legs start to give up on you, quivering under the sensation.

“Fuck,” Haechan takes a sharp intake of breath, pulling you back against him when you’re about to fall. “Tired already, babe?” His chuckles are unfamiliar to your ears, as if he was mocking instead of teasing but you can’t really comment on it because he’s now pushing you down to the floor, forcing you to stay on all fours. “Now, now, what do we do?” He asks, spreading your thighs but holds your ass firmly in the air. “I’m just getting started.”

Every thrust of his hip feels like fire running all over your body and you can’t believe how good he is at hitting that particular spot deep inside you. You bite your lower lip to keep your voice down and Haechan notices it so he leans close, his chest pressing against your spine and you feel his lips and teeth caressing the crook of your neck as he speaks.

“Stop holding back your voice.” His voice sounds sultry, almost sinful to your ears. “I’ve told you before, right? I like hearing you say my name when we do this. Let me hear you moan.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want anyone to hear—“

“Well,” he doesn’t even let you finish. “I guess I’ll just have to force it out of you then.”

He slows down his pace, and instead of giving you fast, shallow thrusts, he focuses his strength on making each thrust hard and deep. You can feel your breathing being knocked out of your lungs, your toes curling in pleasure and if he keeps doing this, you know you’re not gonna last long. Your orgasm hits you so hard, a whimper falling from your mouth the way he likes it, and your body begins to shake.

Haechan laughs quietly against your ear. “You came, didn’t you? It feels so good—you feel so good around my cock.” He grabs you by the chin and roughly angles your head to face him. He kisses you hard, leaving you even more breathless than you already are before he says, “It’s my turn now.”

Haechan flips you to your back, spreading your legs wide as he sits on his knees, holding your ankles in the air like how he did the first time you had sex with him. Maybe it’s his favorite position, almost splitting your body in half, and seeing your face and your breasts bouncing up and down with every movement of his hips. You’re still dazed, reeling in the afterglow when Haechan pushes back into you again without warning, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, his lips parted forming your name between his breathy moans.

“I’ll never get tired of how you look when I fuck you like this,” he says, smirking in the sexiest way you’ve ever seen him do. “You’re so goddamn irresistible, you know that?”

It’s frightening how different and rough he’s being right now, and you’re about to cry out because you miss him—you miss the way he used to be. The adorable, annoying little tease that he was. How can you bring him back?

“Haechannie,” you call out, voice soft and quiet almost in a whisper. “I love you.”

His movement stops almost immediately, his eyes widening in surprise. He locks his gaze back with yours, his grip on your legs becoming loose. “What?”

“I love you,” you repeat, placing your legs down so you can sit up from your position. Your back feels sore, screaming in pain but you try not to wince. You reach out to grab his face, running your thumb along his lower lip. “I love you, Lee Donghyuck.” You kiss him gently, merely pressing your lips against his and you can feel how his body stiffen under your touch. “So calm down, because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be with you, as long as you let me.”

Haechan is still very much speechless and you decide to take control. You carefully push him down so he can sit back on the floor before you climb into his lap. You kiss him again, tangling your fingers in his hair before you slide down, enveloping him once again. There’s a small moan escaping his lips, which you immediately capture with your own and his hands find their way back to your hips again.

“That’s not fair,” he says, his cheeks reddening slightly though he’s still scowling at you. “You’re just saying that so I won’t be angry with you anymore.”

“That too, but,” you’re interrupted by a moan that departs from your lips, can barely handle the way he twitches inside you. “I’ve been feeling that way for quite some time now. Especially when we fight. I just missed you so much, I couldn’t stand it.”

His pout is growing back on his face, though not as apparent. “Well, whose fault do you think is that?” It’s perfect, the way he moves inside you and it’s driving him crazy whenever you clench your walls around him.

“There’s nothing between me and Jaehyun, I promise you,” you softly murmur as you place open-mouthed kisses down his neck. “I’d never cheat on you, Hyuck. You know that, right?”

He shivers slightly under your touch, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “Still,” he breathes out, “It doesn’t mean I’m fine with you meeting him behind my back.”

“He’s my boss, I wouldn’t be able to avoid him even if I wanted—” You have to end your sentence short when he rubs his thumb against your clit, reeling in the sensation. “Hyuck, you’re going to make me come again at this rate.”

“Good, because I intend to make you come at least three times tonight.” He snickers against your lips. “So you won’t be able to forget who owns you.”

His movements become sloppy, going out of rhythm, even more desperate with each thrust and when you whisper with his earlobe between your teeth, “Happy birthday, baby,” he comes undone almost immediately with his face hiding between the slope of your neck.

He lays you down to the floor again, gently this time, before he hovers above you, his arms shaking slightly. “Holy shit,” he exhales, cheeks flushed and beads of sweat forming on his temple. “I think I came a lot inside you.”

“Glad I’m taking some pills then,” you reply, smiling a little as you cup his cheek, your thumb tracing the mole under his left eye. “You okay?”

“Are you okay?” He asks instead. “Was I too rough? Are you hurt somewhere?”

“Why is it that whenever we have sex, you end up asking me these questions?” You chuckle. “Yes, you were. And yes, I am hurt. My back is killing me.”

“I’m…” There’s a slight panic flitting across his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was kinda hot seeing you all riled up like that. It’s like you turned into a completely different person.” You pull him down by his necklace, murmuring against his lips, “I won’t mind if you fuck me like that again sometimes.”

It’s funny that after all of this that just happened, he actually blushes over your words. Quietly cursing under his breath, he leans back on his heels, slowly pulling out of you and stare intently at how his cum starts to seep out of you.

“Goddamn…” he mumbles, eyes unblinking as if he’s in a trance. “I really did come a lot inside you.”

“Consider that your birthday gift. Also, can you stop looking at me like that—it’s embarrassing.” You don’t usually get embarrassed about sexual stuff, especially now that your boyfriend’s shamelessness kind of rubs off on you, but Haechan really knows how to push your buttons.

Seeing you fidget out of shame, Haechan’s eyes twinkle, his lips forming a teasing grin. “No, wait, let me clean you up.” Despite what he says, he slowly pushes one finger into you, with another one following right after and you part your lips in a gasp but loss for words when you see him playing with his cum that’s mixed with yours, smearing it on the inside parts of your thigh.

“Haechannie,” you gasp, feeling his fingers inside you once again, with his thumb rubbing over your clit. “What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He grins, showcasing his perfect teeth. “I’m going to make you come again. And then you’re going to make me come again.” His face hovers above yours, wetting his bottom lip as he stares lustfully at you. “Since it’s my birthday and you’re obliged to do whatever I want.”

You gulp. You’re going to be so sore tomorrow.

***

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heartcal · 4 years

Text

distant; c.h.

it’s finally here omg and being posted on time too (barely)!

this was an idea i started writing back in late 2015 (literally the first few paragraphs are from the old draft with some editing) and while cleaning up my drafts i decided to continue it since i liked it :^D

pairing: calum hood x reader (i tried to make it gender neutral so if i used pronouns while describing the reader, i apologize and feel free to let me know!)

summary: you feel like the relationship is deteriorating because he’s gotten distant. you want to bring it up with him, but how can you when he doesn’t realize something is wrong? and why does it invoke a hurtful argument when you voice your feelings?

warnings: none really other than some cursing, arguing, and cal’s kinda an ass sorry lol

genre: angst, very angtsy

wc: 2,645

my masterlist!

The candle flickered on the coffee table as the sound of rain hitting the roof was prominent. Total silence engulfed you as you finally made up your mind. Your thoughts were running wild for at least the past two hours as you went through numerous scenarios on how he’d react.

Calum had been acting different ever since he came home from tour. It felt like he was distancing himself from you as he began to hang out with his friends right as he got the time off. He already planned visits to his family, which were coming up very soon. He would text you, but they’d only be a couple of words or no more than four sentences a day. At first, you believed it was because he was tired from tour, and honestly who wouldn’t be tired if they had been on a tour bus and planes for almost a year with minimal breaks?

You understood his profession and what comes along with it, you really do.

But when you saw fan pictures or paparazzi pictures of your boyfriend having a hell of a time, obviously without you, it hurt.

You’re not clingy at all; you want him to have a lot of fun considering his age and, due to his fame, he can’t do a lot of the stuff you and other non-famous people can do. You’re not clingy at all, but you would appreciate some one-on-one time with him, especially now that he’s back from tour and soon would be promoting yet another album.

You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down and bring forth your final thoughts on the situation. A break-up is the last thing you want to do. You want to work out whatever is happening between you two, talk it out, and straighten out any knots within the relationship. You don’t want to throw away the past two and a half years, and possibly the five years of friendship.

When you two got together it didn’t come as a surprise to those close to you. The guys were waiting for it to happen, and when it did they didn’t even bat an eye. Your family already thought the two of you were dating, while Calum’s family let out a sigh of relief when the news came out because they saw how happy you made him as a friend.

It started as a test; to see if this is what you want and if it feels right. It did, more than it should if you had to be honest. It almost scared you just how normal it felt to be with him, and the same can be said for him. You had minimal arguments, minimal disagreements; the good outweighed the bad.

But the honeymoon phase can only last so long.

The first time he went on tour when you got together, it was a promotional tour. He wasn’t gone for a long time but he did travel often. That left little to no time to talk, text, or facetime. When he was able to contact you, it was short, but he managed to make it worth it with sweet words and words of encouragement from you.

The second time was a domestic promotional tour. He had asked you to join him, and after getting the OK to work remotely from your boss, you agreed to join him. It was almost like a vacation for you, even if Calum was gone most of the day. On his days off, or when he had part of the day off, it was spent with you alone or with the guys plus you and their significant others.

The third tour was when things started to dwindle. Six months after their third album was released, they went on tour and contact was hard to get. You joined him for a month or two, but after leaving to get back to work, it began to feel like the first time he went on tour. Towards the end of the tour he frequently contacted you, stating that he was, “stressed from the constant traveling,” and he had a hard time keeping up with what day it was.

You didn’t think about it much. Touring like that can strain anyone, amateur or pro. But what you couldn’t understand was how he behaved after the tour. After the first two tours, it was fine, but after tour number three you noticed how distant he would get. Ignoring calls and texts, but updating social media at any time of day and night. It struck you as odd, but he eventually came around with an apology and lots of makeup dates.

Now after tour number four, he’s as distant as ever. You gave him some space but he never came around. It’s been two and a half weeks since you’ve had proper contact.

Running over what you want to say to him in your head, you miss the knocks on your front door. You also miss the sound of your lock turning and the door opening.

“There you are,” You jump at that, turning towards the front door with a hand on your heart.

“What—how did you get in?” You stumble, gone are the thoughts you had previously.

Calum holds his right hand up, his set of keys and key chains jingling as he shakes his hand lightly. He has a small smile on as he speaks, “You gave me a copy, remember?”

You stare blankly at him, recalling the time when you finally moved out of the apartment you shared with an old friend and their partner. You were so happy that you found a place to live on your own, closer to work and closer to Calum. You made him a copy so that he knew he was welcome (and also for safety reasons).

You nod with a hum in response, your eyes moving to the painting a few feet away from him.

If he notices your behavior, he doesn’t mention it as he puts his keys on the hook next to your while taking off his shoes (something you nagged him about since the living room had carpeting).

You knew you had to bring it up. It was sitting on your tongue but your brain couldn’t form the words and sentences that you had previously thought of.

He sighs out as he takes a seat next to you on your couch, his right arm stretched behind you on the back of the couch while his left arm rested on the arm.

You sat stiff, not leaning back or into him no matter how much you craved it. Rather than giving in, you were more focused on the anger starting to bubble up inside of you. How can he act like nothing is wrong after ignoring you for almost three weeks?

“You’re quiet tonight,” he retracts his arm from the back of the couch and moves his hand to your forehead, “You feeling okay?”

When he brings his other hand up to his own forehead, you smack his arm away.

You scoff, letting your anger show, “Really, Calum?”

His puzzled look pushes you over and you stand up.

“What?” He asks as his eyes follow you as you head to the window.

Taking a deep breath and staring out at the city below, you realize that it’s now or never. Releasing the breath as a sigh, you turn towards him.

“Is something wrong?” He questions again.

“I know that tour takes a lot out of you,” you begin, willing yourself to bring your eyes up to meet his, “but you’ve been distant—more than usual. I know you want some time to yourself after touring, and I give you the time, but I can’t help but feel ignored Calum.”

Calum stands with a frown, bringing his hands up to his head before running them down his face with a sigh. His mouth opens to say something but nothing comes out. He stands in front of his seat on the couch, hands on his hips and shoulders slumped. He wants to say something, wants to tell you that he’s not ignoring you, but he can’t bring himself to say so.

“I’ve seen the pictures of you out with your friends. I’m happy you’re spending time with them, that you’re out there having fun because I know you haven’t seen them in so long. And your family, too. But I would like to spend time with you before you head out again.”

“I spent a lot of time with you before I left,” he mumbles, taking a few steps towards you.

“I know-” you hold your hand up to stop him from getting closer, “but you also spent plenty of time with your friends.”

He takes another step towards you, ignoring your signal. His body language shows that he doesn’t want to argue; his steps are small, head tilted only slightly, his eyes are staring intently at you.

It’s silent. Your breathing picks up as you hold back frustrated tears, which causes Calum’s own breathing to falter. He moves his jaw to help ease the tension he feels – a tick you know he picked up from a tour crew member – and shakes his hands as if he was trying to rid them of something.

He inhales, eyes on the floor at his feet, “I feel like we spend too much time together.”

Ouch. His words had a sharp impact, like a punch to the gut when you least expect it. The kind of heart-dropping, breathless pain.

“You think—do you think I’m clingy?” The word leaves a bad taste in your mouth because you felt that you were far from it.

“That’s not what I said—,” he stops, taking in his lower lip with a hand ruffling the hair on his head, “—that’s not what I’m saying at all.”

“But that’s what you’re implying,” you accuse with narrow eyes.

He shakes his head, growing upset with how this night is turning out. He came over to spend time with you, knowing that when comes back from visiting his family he will have only a couple more days of rest before putting all his focus on the new album.

“Look,” he sighs and sits on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands, “all I’m saying is, I wanted to spend some time with my friends since I don’t see them as often as I see you.”

Your jaw tightens, “I understand that, but what about our relationship?”

“What about it?”

“It doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore,” you’re blunt, straight to point out how you feel.

He scoffs, “Cut the bullshit.”

Your speechless, watching him stand up and walk to the other side of the living room. The rain outside has gotten louder with an occasional rumble in the distance, but you’re focused on how he brushed off how you felt like it wasn’t important.

“Just because I don’t spend all my time with you doesn’t mean we’re not in a relationship,” he says, resting his left arm on the bookshelf against the wall, “I have other relationships to manage besides ours.”

“You barely manage this one, Calum,” a tear threatens to spill over your lower lid, “Two and a half weeks of little to no contact, and you suddenly show up to my apartment as if everything is fine? I sat here wondering if something happened on tour that was making you this distant, but from what I’ve seen on Twitter and Instagram…you’re doing just fine. You’re smiling, you’re laughing—you’re seemingly your usual self. So why did all my texts get left on read, no response at all, especially when I just wanted to know that you were okay?”

He sucks his teeth, a humorless laugh leaving his lips as he turns to look at you, “You’re overreacting.”

Another jab to the heart, and this time you let the tears freely fall down your cheeks.

He stands up straight and licks his lips, eyes dancing around the room. They bounce over photos of you with your friends, family, and him. In the back of his mind, he knows this is too much. He knows his words may be overstepping and hurtful, but he can’t see where you’re coming from.

“I’m entitled to my own life, just like you. I have friends I want to hang out with, just like you. Sometimes I need time to myself away from you. Maybe you were right earlier, maybe you are clingy.”

He watches as your tears fall, the pained expression you wear didn’t go unnoticed but he does choose to overlook it.

He cuts you off when your mouth begins to open, “Maybe another thing you were right about before, this doesn’t feel like a relationship, right?”

He rolls his shoulders, jaw clenched as he walks to the front door. Your eyes are covered with unshed tears, previous tears leaving trails down your cheeks and nose. He sees them, there’s a pounding in his brain that’s trying to take control so he can go over and console you with unlimited apologies. But he doesn’t.

Calum grabs his keys, taking off your key and tossing it to your feet. He slides his shoes on, his movements rough as his breathing gets heavier. His eyes reach yours and those dark brown eyes you grew to love have now become hurtful, clouded by an unrecognizable emotion.

His hand blindly reaches for the lock, turning it before lowering to the handle, “If this relationship doesn’t feel like one, let’s end it, yeah?”

Without another word, he opens the door and leaves. Your eyes shed the built-up tears as they fall towards the spare key on the ground.

You don’t know how it came to this. You had your mind made up of how you wanted the conversation to go, what to do if worst comes to worst and how to repair the relationship itself. You weren’t expecting him to come over. Once he walked through that door all your thoughts evaporated and you were left grasping for any remaining thoughts.

You kneel to pick up the key, but your knees are too weak to stand back up. The key glares at you, reminding you painfully of what once was.

But behind your front door stands Calum, a racing mind and pounding heart. He stares at the floor and it finally dawns on him. Mindlessly he’s ended up outside, the warm air of your apartment lobby did not prepare him for the chilly rain outside. By the time he’s in his car, he’s soaked and he’s uncomfortable.

He doesn’t start the car, instead, he reaches for the steering wheel and grips it tightly. The emotions wash over him and the tears slide down as fast as they formed. He shakily inhales, followed by a sob and a sniffle.

The rain is heavy, muting his sobs to his own ears. A sharp crack of thunder makes him jump, and after a few more sniffles and constant wiping of his cheeks, he starts his car and drives back home.

It’s late when you go to bed. The numbing pain in your chest ruins your chances of a good night’s sleep, but selflessly you wished Calum a goodnight before attempting to sleep.

Calum sleeps on his couch, too tired to bring himself to his bed but too hurt to sleep. His eyes drift to his phone on the coffee table when it vibrates; a message from a groupchat talking about an outing scheduled for tomorrow. His sore eyes shut and he turns away from the table.

In the darkness, he sees your pained expression, the way you shrunk as he threw those harsh words at you. It’s an image that will be imprinted forever in his mind, and he regrets everything.

~~~

part two!

#5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #5sos one shots #5sos drabbles #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer blurbs #5 seconds of summer one shots #5 seconds of summer drabbles #calum hood imagines #calum hood blurbs #calum hood one shots #5sos preferences #5 seconds of summer preferences #5sos imagine #5sos preference #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer preference

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