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#and they just think it'll all be fine (and it SHOULD all be fine idk why it wouldn't be)
infizero · 4 months
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alright as of right now i am officially starting to watch sonic x. wish me luck on actually getting through it all and also feel free to threaten my life in my asks if i dont keep watching it
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running-in-the-dark · 8 months
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my (virtual) meeting with my thesis advisor is in... 7 hours. I'm sort of almost finished writing the exposé that I was supposed to write. sort of. I'll probably need another hour or two until I feel okay enough about it to actually get any sleep.
unfortunately my left arm is realllly starting to hurt and I can't lift it much anymore (thanks to the covid booster I got today). hopefully I'll get it done anyway. and hopefully the pain won't be so bad that I can't sleep.
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vulpinesaint · 9 months
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actually going to throw the hugest fit over my parents making me do dishes. i am HAPPY to do dishes on assigned nights. it's FINE. i hate it so much but i'll get it done and if i'm having constant breakdowns over it then like. idk. maybe that's another issue that you should be looking into but it doesn't mean that i'm not up for doing the dishes. but now my mom wants to have the five of us just. do the dishes on a rotation? which is FUCKED cause i have SHIT to do! the fuck happens when i have dnd? or want to go out with a friend? or have class until late? literally worst fucking idea on earth i can do the fucking dishes but i have to be PREPARED for it. for instance don't make it so every other week i'll be fucking Doing something when it's my night to do the dishes
#so tired and lowkey pissed off about this i'm going to cry#my mom got rlly upset cause the dishes weren't getting done. fair.#my nights got Done most of the time and i volunteered to take on an extra night so idk. i think that should count for something.#but she got upset and said that she would just do dishes from now on#and then realized it was a lot of work and said she couldn't do it on her own and needed people to help#and then said 'we should do it this way!' and never actually implemented that way#like. just said it out loud. but then like. expected it to magically happen?#babe you can't just throw out a hypothetical and go 'alright! now that i have spoken it into existence it's going to happen'#fucking WHATEVER though. cause now it's going to be my fun little dishes night on friday when i have dnd.#first fuckin round of it.#and it's not even that i don't want to i CAN'T do the fucking dishes on friday cause i'm barely in the house!#i'll be home on friday after work for fifteen minutes tops!#so. going to complain. literally some of us have schedules that take up the nighttime.#sorry that neither of my little siblings hang out with people or have regular social engagements or work late or have class late.#but unfortunately i'm literally doing shit. and i need to incorporate things into my schedule or it's gonna fuck all my shit up#and then people will be angry with me for not getting the dishes done. so. again. fuck me i guess#it'll be fine i'll talk to her i just. ugh. the world if mothers just fucking talked about what they wanted and needed to happen#she proposed that Multiple weeks ago and just now i heard her in the kitchen going 'i thought we were doing this...'#bitch since WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? YOU HAVEN'T BROUGHT IT UP IN A FULL WEEK AT LEAST#throwing my fucking laptop against the wall i'm so fucking tired i just want to sleep#valentine notes
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yousaytomato · 1 year
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Trying my hardest not to be anxious and sad about things that have already happened and that I can't do anything about now. But How
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altruistic-meme · 1 year
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I'M NOW NERVOUS BUT I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING
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soonhoonsol · 2 years
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i hate money i hate that it’s necessary for everything i hate that it breaks apart families i hate it i hate it i hate it
#personal#cheyrants#im getting kicked out of my house! by my own mother!!#for context: i am starting my internship tmr and i'm getting paid a... pretty high amount for an intern#it's similar to my mum's starting pay when she first started working#(but also let's establish that i am a uni intern and she is a drop out with no certifications)#but anyways she was going on about how she had to split her starting pay amongst her my brother and i because she was raising us#and she's pretty fucking salty that now im earning the same amount as an intern and it;s just for me#and me...a 22 year old with nothing in my bank account other...wanted to save part of my salary just to build up the amount inside#cuz yk... the standard of living is expensive and i am expected to live off whatever is in my account#so i wanted to build it up but...my mum thinks that's incredibly selfish of me for saving everything in my account and instead wants me to#give it to her instead fo the 'family' aka she's gonna put it into an envelope and hide it somewhere in her bedroom never to be seen again#and like i'm fine with giving money to the family and all but yeah maybe i was selfish and wanted to build up my account first#BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY IN THERE BUT I HAVE TO PAY FOR MY TRANSPORT AND MY MEALS AND MY OWN BILLS AND UNI FEES AND OTHER THINGS#and she's also telling me 'oh youre young you should have a social life...go out and meet your friends' BUT THEN IF I DON'T SAVE UP THEN I#WILL NOT HAVE MONEY FOR ANYTHING? IDK LIKE... AM I MISSING THE POINT HERE OR IS SHE CONTRADICTING HERSELF????#but anyways that aside... now i have one year left until i graduate from uni so until then i am responsible for my living expenses#after which i have to get a job within 3 months (hopefully it'll be fine) and then move out of my house :)#this...this is not america. we don't have space. we're not asked to move out at 18 years old because there's no LAND to move out to#rental costs are about $2k for the bare minimum of a BEDROOM. not even a house. and it's those bedrooms with just a bed and wardrobe#and i'm expected to find a place within the next year or so... i mean i guess it's fine? it'll probably be weird living with other ppl#but also this entire this is happening while she's angry and i tried to explain my perspective but she's like NO YOU'RE WRONG AND I'M RIGHT#i mean sure... kids are always wrong tho amirite? lollll haha... i'm gonna lose my mind#what a great start to my internship tmr! everything is great! everything is wonderful!#so yeah if anyone in sg knows a cheap room i can rent that would be nice thank you
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Hm. I am getting the distinct feeling that either revanced broke or some apps are doing smth real shitty
#rat rambles#anyways guess who's youtube completely stopped working#It's fine I can watch on browser but it's still very annoying#And the tumblr thing is even more annoying hense why I've been like completely off of tumblr recently#Maybe the universe is telling me to take an Internet break but like I have just been starting to feel a bit better#My family got a new dog the other day btw not relevant to the rest of this post but her name is karla and she's a very anxious doggy#I'm just waiting for laundry rn so that's why I'm posting at all lol#Might have to switch to posting from my laptop soon if things don't get unfucked#Which wouldnt be the end of the world but sure as hell would be annoying#Idk maybe it'll motivate me to finally make a proper blog theme#Idk what Id do for a blog theme tho tbh#An oni theme would be rly fun but it would also probably age poorly (as in the second I get into smth new)#So maybe an oc theme?#That could be fun#Not sure what characters Id use but maybe mascot and/or midas#Idk but chances of me actually doing it anytime soon are slim#Rly if I'm gonna customize anything more it's gonna be my toyhouse page#Oh also good news I'm going to do a pet sitting job for my aunt and uncle at some point#It'll be like 3 weeks I think and I'll be getting paid 700 buckeroos if I'm remembering correctly#I already have a lot of thoughts of how I'm going to spend it even if I should probably try to save at least some of it#There's just a lot of ppl who could use that money more and better than me and I don't wanna be stingy during times like this#I have also might buy like a new game since I've been interested in playing smth new#There has been one game I've been eyeing for a while and I have a mutual who likes it a lot but idk if I'm ready for new blorbos yet#But oldie or whatever her name was calls to me. She tempts me so#I'm open to other game recommendations tho just know that I'm gonna be picky on more story heavy games#Again I'm not exactly on the hunt for new blorbos rn and getting new story hyperfixations is scary to me lol
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neverendingford · 3 months
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#tag talk#just realized the intense depression and associated anger issues and intrusive violent thoughts are prolly related to the Lamictal I starte#I was like “I don't think I need this don't think it'll help but I'll try it for science” because I'll try anything once#and uhhh. I went to go to bed and realized there was a bowl with food tucked into my bed covers.#laundry all over is one thing. that's kind of normal. but food in my bed is massive warning bells so I was like uh oh that's real depressio#so anyway i messaged my dr like hey I think these meds are making me feel so fucking lethargic and despondent and also I want to kill peopl#because I would just stop taking them but I'm willing to see what she thinks.#also my current psychiatrist is really great and I like her a lot idk if I already talked about her but she's really cool.#the first one I got was an absolute dick and was passive aggressive towards me and also straight up lied in her notes about me?#said that I had said I'm not sexually active and like. bitch where did I ever say that ever that's literally untrue and you wrote it down.#like. I don't think medical professionals are supposed to lie about you actually that's kind of a big problem#also she was like “I'm not seeing adhd here at all” and wanted to do a full on adhd diagnosis before trying any meds for it#whereas my new person was just like “oh you don't have to talk about being adhd it's pretty obvious to me” and I was like kissing you kissi#ng you kissing you kissing you kissing y#but yeah. I don't think I want to keep taking these meds and I think I'm just gonna take the meds I have to today not the short term ones#some days I just don't need my adhd meds or I would rather feel my normal relatively unproductive self.#still gonna take the ssri and estrogen obvs cause those need to keep up levels in my body and also duh I wanna keep my E levels up#but the others nah my body is super sensitive to meds (or any substances tbh) so I need a break from them today I feel really unbalanced#I did have my gf deadass ask me “should I be worried?” when I mentioned the violent intrusive thoughts and I was like no no no no it's fine#because like. I've never genuinely hurt someone fully impulsively like that. it's all thoughts it's all in the head#I'm not gonna kidnap and murder and dissect anyone it's just theoretical situations my brain likes to fuck me up with.#but it does kinda suck to have people around you inherently mistrust you because of how your brain works.#my brother told me a while back that he locks his door at night because he's worried about me and you do know how fucking hurtful that is?#the person you trust enough to move out and move in with is afraid of you enough to lock their door at night.#not like that would stop me if I genuinely did try to hurt him obviously. interior door locks are a joke.#but like... that someone would hear you talk about intrusive thoughts and genuinely think you capable of them to some extent.#idk that hurts a lot.#I wish I weren't like this.
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rubberbandballqueen · 10 months
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yesterday i hooked my phone up to a radio w/this new aux able i bought to play music for the kids at work, and i was kind of surprised how i could basically just play everything i had downloaded on my phone for the kids (bc i've been too lazy to build playlists on it) until later, i was sitting at the front desk, typing stuff up, and then i heard a green day song start playing, and i fucking sprinted back inside bc even tho i think punk would be good for the kids, most of them are single-digit ages, and i am NOT gonna be the adult who lets them hear the word "fuck"
#i don't think the kids would have even noticed tbh; and the song was 'basket case' so it's like. there's not much objectionable in there#like i was like. thirteen when i first heard that song n granted i grew up sheltered. but i was like 'what's a hoar'#(bc i didn't know that it was spelled 'whore' until i was like. sixteen or something lol)#and just moved on with my day lmao#the worm speaks#at one point i popped back into the room (bc due to Shenanigans i was checking on this one girl in another room) n cazzo by ?te was playing#and i was like 'ohhhh my god' n skipped it bc even tho those kids most certainly do not get what the song is about. it did not sit right#and then i skipped this one song bc it said 'bitch' in it exactly once <3 but that's about all actually#the utena op played at one point n i was like 'should i-- NAHHHH they've never seen utena and it's in jp it'll be Fine'#also i was granted a whistle yesterday n the first time i used it i used it the way i would outside (as like a drum major)#(we were indoors) and HOOOOOO BOY THE SILENCE THAT FELL OVER THE ROOM.#i said 'as you can see i have been granted a whistle now and i have a lot of lung to use it so i'd appreciate it if we could listen'#at one point yesterday i put the whistle in my mouth n looked over the kids n they just H U S H E D#i will have to learn how to reign in a whistle sound but i think in general whistles shouldn't be used indoors. like as a rule.#the reason i received a whistle is bc we were playing this new game i made up called 'court of law'#it was inspired by the fact that during winter camp some kids had an argument over a pokemon card that was given away#and so i gathered all the relevant children around and wrote down everyone's testimonies n stuff to sort it out like it was a courtroom#but what ended up happening yesterday is that the kids n i just larped courtroom dramas or something idk but it was fun <3#ALSO YESTERDAY this one kid (the clever one) came up to me when i let kids play with the whiteboard n he was like#'mys. [hua] they're not listening to me with the whiteboard :('#n i looked him straight in the eye n said 'damn [caleb] that sucks wonder how that must feel.'#(he's a good kid; probably my favorite; and he does listen!! he knows how to put on good behavior and ham it up)#(and he has Child Charisma that obviously works on the other kids very well. he has Leaderly Qualities that i have no idea how to nurture.)#(but also he has problems with interrupting staff and trying to worm his way out of Situations(tm).)#we were so short-staffed yesterday. oh my god. i was like the only one watching like 25 kids for like an hour#which would've probably gone better had i known i'd be the only one for that long n was able to plan ahead a bit more
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ye-olde-cider · 11 months
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So I'm trying to make folk linen pants from sowing to sewing.
Second post (here's first)
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It's been about 60 days since sowing (it's 22nd of June). It's looking so pretty and started blooming about 55th day. I've been watering it one or two wheelbarrows of every 2 weeks, which I thought would be too little but it's growing pretty good. It's still not that high (about over the knee) and I doubt it'll get much higher sadly. That means lower grade of fibers but whatever. It'll be fine.
Every now and again there are parts laying down and I've been seeing some hares running about so they probably hide in it tramping down the plants. But it gets up no problem so all good. Maybe next time I'll put up a little fence around it.
Also idk when should I harvest it bc all the info is about oil flax, not textile flax, and even then it's contradictory sometimes. But either way it's around 100-120th day, so we're still only halfway.
Next up I need to start thinking about scuthing it, and it requires some equipment. But it's easy enough to build on my own probably. It should be something like this flax-brake:
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And then this kind of metal comb, which I'll make just by densly putting nails in a blank:
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So yeah, that's the plans for the near future. Here's a bonus flax video if you stayed till the end ❤️
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perdidit-vulpes · 1 year
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....
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wombywoo · 7 months
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Ok! I've finally decided to put together a (somewhat) comprehensive tutorial on my latest art~
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Please enjoy this little step-by-step 💁‍♀️
First things first--references!
Now I'm not saying you have to go overboard, but I always find that this is a crucial starting point in any art piece I intend on making. Especially if you're a detail freak like me and want to make it as realistic as possible 🙃
As such, your web browser should look like this at any given point:
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Since this is a historical piece, it means hours upon hours of meaningless research just to see what color the socks are, but...again. that isn't, strictly, necessary 😅
Once I've compiled all my lovely ref pics, I usually dump them into a big-ass collage ⬇️
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(I will end up not using half of these, alas :'D)
Another reference search for background material, and getting to showcase our models of choice for this occasion~
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When picking a reference for an actor or model, the main thing I keep in mind (besides prettiness 🤭) is lighting and orientation. Because I already kinda know what pose I'm gonna go with for this piece, I can look for specific angles that might fit the criteria. I should mention that I am a reference hound, and my current COD actor ref folder looks like this:
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Also keep in mind, if you're using a ref that you need to flip, make sure you adjust accordingly. This especially applies to clothing, as certain things like pants zippers and belt buckles can be quite specific ☝️
Now that we've spent countless hours googling, it's time to start with a rough sketch:
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It doesn't have to be pretty, folks, just a basic guideline of where you want the figures to be.
The next step is to define it more, and I know this looks like that 'how to draw an owl' meme, but I promise--getting from the loose sketch above to below is not that difficult.
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Things to keep in mind are--don't go too in-depth with the details, because things are still subject to change at this point. In terms of making a suitable anatomically-correct sketch, I would suggest lots of studying. This doesn't even have to be things like figure drawing, I genuinely look at people around me for inspiration all the time. Familiarize yourself with the human form, and things like weight, proportions, posing will seem a little more feasible.
It's also important at this stage to consider your composition. Remember to flip the canvas frequently to make sure you're not leaning to one side too often. I'm sure something can be said for the spiral fibonacci stuff, which I don't really try to do on purpose, but I think keeping things like symmetry and balance in mind is a good start ✌️
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Next step is just blocking in the figures. Standard. No fuss 👍
Now onto the background!
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It's frankly hilarious how many people thought I was *hand-drawing* these maps and stuff 😂😂 I cannot even begin to comprehend how insanely difficult that would be. So yeah, we're just taking the lazy copy and paste way out 🤙
I almost always prepare my backgrounds first, and this is mostly to get a general color scheme off the bat. For collage work, it's really just a matter of trial and error, sticking this here, slapping this there, etc. I like to futz around with different overlay options until I've found a nice arrangement. Advice for this is just--go nuts 🤷‍♀️
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Next, I add a few color adjustments. I tend to make at least 2 colors pop in an art piece, and low and behold, they usually tend to be red and blue ❤️💙There's something about warm/cool vibes, idk man..
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Now we move on to coloring the figures. This is just a basic block and fill, not really defining any of the details yet.
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Next, we add some cursory values. Sloppy airbrush works fine, it'll look better soon I promise 🙏
And now--rendering!
I know a lot of beginner artists are intimidated by rendering, and I can totally understand why. It's just one of those things you have to commit to 💪
I've decided to show a brief process of rendering our dear Johnny's face here:
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Starting off, I usually rely on the trusty airbrush just to get some color values going. Note--I've kept my sketch layer on top, but feel free to turn it on and off as you work, so as to not be too bound to the sketch. For now, it's just a guideline.
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This next stage may look like a huge jump, but it's really just adding more to the foundation. I try to think of it like putting on make-up in a way~ Adding contours, accentuating highlights. This is also where I start adding in more saturation, especially around areas such as ears, nose and lips. Still a bit fuzzy at this point, but that's why we keep adding to it 💪
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A boy has appeared! See--now I've removed most of the line layer, and it holds up on its own. I'll admit that in order to achieve this realistic style, you'll need lots and lots of practice and skill, which shouldn't be discouraging! Just motivate yourself with the prospect of getting to look at pretty men for countless hours 🙆‍♀️
I'll probably do a more in-depth explanation about rendering at some point, but let's keep this rolling~
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Moving forward is just a process of adding to the figures bit by bit. I do lean towards filling in each section from top to bottom, but you can feel free to pop around to certain parts that appeal to you more. I almost always do the faces first though, because if they end up sucking, I feel less guilty about scrapping it 😂 But no--I think he's pretty enough to proceed 😚
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They're coming together now 🙆‍♀️ Another helpful tip--make sure you reuse color. By that, I mean--try to incorporate various colors throughout your piece, using the eyedropper tool to keep a consistent palette. I try to put in bits of red and blue where I can
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Here they are fully rendered! Notice I've made a few subtle changes from the sketch, like adjusting the belt buckles because I made a mistake 😬 Hence why you shouldn't put too much stock in your initial sketch~
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The next step is more of a stylistic choice, but I usually go over everything with an outline, typically in a bright color like green. Occasionally, I can just use my initial line layer, but for this, I've made a brand new, cleaner line 👍
And the final step is adjusting the color and adding some text:
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Tada!! It's done!
All in all, this took me the better part of a week, but I have a lot of free time, so yeah ✌️
I hope you appreciated that little walkthrough~ I know people have been asking me how I do my art, but the truth is--I usually have no clue how to explain myself 😅 So have this half-assed tutorial~
As a bonus, here is a cute (cursed) image of Johnny without his mustache:
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A baby, a literal infant child !!! who put this wee bairn on the front lines ??! 😭
Anyway! peace out ✌️
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dualitue · 2 months
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★ (i think) heavily ooc xavier + play fighting + manhandling?? + stuff escalating quickly + dom!xavier idk im not sure + fear play ig + spitting and pussy slapping + no protection + he calls the reader mean names...so degrading...but not so mean names so no degrading + uhh uhhh brat taming + this is a mess.
★ let a girl dream please. please. hear me out and let me dream. i have work tomorrow and i desperately need the mental companionship that this thought gives me. i have no idea about what this is but it is something believe me. didn't read it twice!!! if the mistakes are annoyingly a lot pls let me know thank you <3
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"Please."
The word leaves your mouth for the hundredth time today, your persistence making Xavier numb and immune as he mindlessly scrolls on his phone. You're right next to him on his big, comfy sofa—almost on top of him as you scoot closer and keep insisting.
He doesn't answer you, and you feel yourself growing impatient by each passing second. What's his deal, really? You're not asking for something extreme, just for a little bit of combat training with him, that's all. Hand-to-hand, fair and square, all he has to do is say yes and that's it, you've promised to leave him alone only if he takes you up on that offer. However, he's as still and unmoving as a rock as he sits there. His legs are spread open as you're on your knees right next to him, your gaze slightly shifting to the screen of his phone and you catch him mindlessly scrolling through his feed. "Xavier!"
"I'm too sleepy for this," his response is dismissive, clearly indicating that he doesn't want to do it. Your hands sneakily get their way up to his chest starting from his torso, your eyes shining with a mischievous glint as you look at his face to see any hint of discomfort.
There's none.
"You can sleep after we're done," you excitedly say, your answer immediately coming after his rejection, you do not yield. "Please, don't be a dick about this."
"Don't call me that."
"What?" You softly chuckle as your hands explore his chest hiding beneath the fabric of his sweatshirt, but you can still feel how warm he is. "It'll be fun, make it a bit hard for me."
Xavier lets out a deep breath, slightly annoyed with himself rather than you—he can't say no to you, definitely not when you're this insistent.
"Not in the mood for a proper fight," he says, his eyes finding yours and you can clearly see that he's admitted his defeat. You feel warm inside because of the way that he sees no point in hiding what he's truly feeling. He's always open with you about his feelings towards you, and you're more than happy to accept them. "But yeah, okay, fine."
You immediately spring to your feet when he finally says yes, your eyes shining brightly as if you've managed to fit a whole night sky adorned with stars in them. He slowly gets up from the couch as well, stretching slowly as he yawns—you cannot help but laugh, because you just know that he's going to kick your ass while still being gentle with you. Still, you have a lot to learn from him, and a defeat will teach you more than a victory.
"No cheating," he says as he takes a step, moving to the empty area in the center of his living room. "I'm not a cheater!" You say with an offended tone, all fake, as you follow his steps. You stretch as well, your body feels tense since you've been on that couch pressed against him for the last hour, just to make him say yes.
"Dare I say, ladies first..."
"C'mon, Xavier, just come at me."
You'll always feel thrilled by a challenge, and it's pretty obvious from the subtle shift in your stance and demeanour—your eyes are carefully fixed on Xavier when he moves as fast as light, managing to capture you between his strong arms before making you fall down to the ground. He still has his arms around you, falling with you to soften the way your body meets with the ground—and you can't decide if this should give you so-called butterflies or irritate you. It's the thought that counts, you think.
"You could've given me some time to prepare myself!" You protest as your body is caged between his arms, the warmth radiating from his body feels like you're being glued to him. Your back pressed against his chest, you try to break yourself free from his embrace.
"Are you even taking this seriously?" His voice makes you jolt with surprise, low and indifferent, his lips touch the shell of your ear as he speaks. His breath hits your skin, your nape, sending shivers down to your spine. The room gets hotter all of a sudden, making you swallow a lump in your throat as you struggle in his strong hold.
"Of course, I am." You immediately talk back, kicking your legs and turning your body around to save yourself from Xavier. You haven't planned it like this, no, he could've given you the opportunity to show off some of your skills. The more you writhe and struggle, the hotter the room feels—you can feel his body, even though he's covered by the fabric of his clothes, and he can feel your curves. It's been far too long since he's been able to do this, and now that he's doing this with you, Xavier feels puzzled by the intensity of the emotions whirling inside his body. The adrenaline is buzzing around as his heartbeat races and heat rises from his chest. He slightly loosens his grip without making it pretty obvious, just the slightest bit of a move of his arms—and if you try a bit harder this time, you can free yourself. Because he wants you to. He needs you to.
"You think you're all that, right?" With all you've got, you give a push to your body—turning and rolling around. Being able to escape his arms makes you sigh in relief, your eyes focusing on him again as Xavier keeps laying on the ground. "Don't fall asleep on me now, c'mon!"
Both of you get back on your feet at the same time, putting a little distance between each other, and you react quicker this time—lifting your leg up as much as possible to land a kick to the side of his shoulder. Without giving it a break, you do the same to his other shoulder—and that is a dumb idea, really. Because his hand reaches further places than you can reach, and his reflexes have always been good. It doesn't come off as a surprise when you think thoroughly of it, you shouldn't be mad at him because he successfully managed to grab your ankle and made your body fall into the sofa this time. You should be mad at yourself. "This is what you've been begging for?" Xavier asks with the slightest bit of a mocking tone in his voice, you feel annoyed but also lightheaded all of a sudden.
"Shut up." You know that in the case of a real fight, your performance would be a lot better than this—whatever the hell this is, but when you're doing this with Xavier a part of you enjoys being handled like this.
"Don't talk to me like that, miss. I might have to teach you the required courtesy that you should be equipped with."
With your rosy cheeks and your heaving chest, you look up at him. Xavier stands next to the couch, hovering over you like a gloomy and tall building as you lay on your back on the couch. Fuck it, really. He's a distraction with his sleepy eyes and his expressionless face, you can see the slightest shade of pink on his cheeks but that's all gives it away—that he enjoys this little game, too. Just like you.
"If you can get me, that is. I'm not gonna cry and whine and tap out."
With a sudden move, you hit the back of his knee with your foot, and make him land on top of your body. He softens the impact by resting his elbows on both sides of your head, but it's not enough to hold himself off of you. Chest to chest, and face to face, you lay there and carefully study his features. Suddenly your mind goes numb—have you ever seen him this close? His eyes draw you in, his hot breath fawning over your face as he does the same as you. There are countless voices in your mind screaming at you; telling you to continue, telling you to kiss him, telling you to keep fighting. You don't feel threatened or in danger, but there's a certain tension between you and Xavier that feels cracking as he keeps the position.
"Then I'd like you to see you do just that," his voice is low and taunting—he's trying to provoke you on purpose, knowing that you'll get mad in the end. "Go ahead, I'll give you a headstart. If I get my hands on you, I'll fuck that attitude out of you."
He doesn't move after his words hang heavy in the crackling air between you two, but you do.
With your elbow, you hit his arm this time—making him fall on top of you completely, and the adrenaline rush holds you back from thinking clearly about this, but he is letting you have your way with him. When Xavier's body falls on top of yours you push him down to the ground, and start to run.
His apartment isn't the biggest, and you know that he'll find you in the blink of an eye but chasing this feeling gets you even more excited. Without looking back, you enter his bedroom—immediately hiding in the corner between his closet and the window of his room. Maybe the inside of the closet was a better idea, but you're lightheaded and all you can hear is the thudding of your heart.
What's happening? What the actual fuck is happening?
You just wanted to spar with him as a silly little training, why are you feeling extremely hot and bothered by this? His low voice rings in your ears, sudden change in his attitude as his body was on top of your and his eyes stared into the depths of your soul. Whenever you make eye contact with Xavier, you feel like he sees every bit of you—the prettiest ones, brightest ones, the most deranged ones, and unhinged ones... you're an open book for him, a book that he enjoys running his fingers along the spine, between the pages.
You don't hear him moving, but you've never heard him moving before so this doesn't help you relax—you just feel even more excited because of it. His footsteps nor his breath, nothing. It's eerily silent in his apartment as you take deep breaths, closing your eyes to help with the tension. Just as you peek your head out to see if he's in the room, his shadow falls over you—a surprised yelp fills Xavier's bedroom, and without wasting a second ge throws your body over his shoulder.
"Told you, didn't I?"
Your body meets with his bed, soft sheets welcoming you with a nice chilly feeling against your burning skin as Xavier pins your legs down on the bed by holding your inner thighs. Your body trembles because this has been exciting and interesting—you are so wet that you'd be embarrassed to admit it out loud.
"Xavier, I—," you mindlessly start, having no idea about what you can say as you watch him unzip his trousers. The clinking of the metal of his belt sends the sweetest feeling down to your core, your fingers aching to rub your clit as you watch Xavier hurriedly pushing his trousers down. His cock is straining his boxers as he hooks a finger and pulls down your sweatpants along with your panties—the chilly air of the room hitting your body makes you tremble slightly.
"This is what you've wanted all along, isn't it?" His eyes are focused on your pussy, glistening folds as your soaked panties are pulled down to your knees before he takes one of your legs out of it—he is more impatient than you at this point, probably more turned on, too. "No, I—no," you immediately answer, your voice coming out weak but you're telling the truth. If anything, he's the one who turned everything around with that demanding tone and cocky attitude.
Xavier doesn't give you the chance to explain yourself as he lands a slap on your sensitive pussy, ripping out and earning a delicious moan from you as your body jolts and tries to escape from him. But who are you lying to? You do like where you are.
"Fucking liar," he murmurs under his breath, the corners of his mouth twitch with a sly smirk as he lands another slap. A gush of wetness drips down to your legs, and to his bed, making you get even more turned on and flustered as you lie there and take it. "You were all over me, begging me to fight you, just so you can get your pussy filled at the end."
You anticipate another slap, but instead Xavier leans down and licks a hot stripe over your wet folds—causing you to lock his head between your trembling thighs. He doesn't, though. He pins your legs down onto the bed again, but before he pulls back you hear him spitting—as if you're not wet enough to take his cock with ease. When he pulls back, you feel the tip of his cock pressing against your pussy before he easily slips inside. Xavier doesn't bottom out immediately, he's slow and annoying about this—and you find yourself pushing yourself down on his cock desperately.
"No, not so fast, doll," he murmurs, his two fingers easily prying open your mouth before he pushes them inside. Without wasting time, you suck his fingers—and he finally bottoms out. A muffled moan fills Xavier's ears, one that's coming from you, even though you're practically dripping wet, he's still big, and the first stretch always does more than enough to get you high on the feeling. "That's it, that's it—you'll take it nice and slow first, because I'm just getting started with you. Because we have the night to ourselves, and I know that you'll take ne like the good girl you are until I fuck that sassy attitude out of you."
And you know that he's dead serious. You know that he'll use your body and fuck you until his cum drips from your pussy, until you're fully pumped, until you're able to know that no matter what, Xavier will have you.
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moonstruckme · 6 months
Text
Hi! I'd copy-and-pasted this request into my doc to write it, but now I can't find it in my inbox! I don't think it was anonymous, so if this is your request and it somehow got deleted, I'm very sorry! Thank you for requesting, apologies for the wait, and hope you like it <3
hi love!!! Congratulations on 1,000 followers!!! I absolutely adore your writing and if your requests are open I’d love it if you could right something about poly marauders with a reader who’s non-binary or gender fluid. Maybe they just got together and the reader hasn’t came out to them yet or something. Idk you get all the writing freedom, of course if you don’t want to write it’s totally fine!!! Thanks anyway 🫶💗🫶💗 xoxo
cw: marauders unknowingly misrepresent reader's pronouns+gender
poly!marauders x nb!reader ♡ 1.1k words
“Sirius, no.” Remus rubs at his temples. “I will not mar you with a tattoo gun you bought from some bloke on the street.” 
“Oh, don’t be such a wuss,” Sirius complains, sitting spread out on his bed. “It'll be fun, you can all do it!”
“I’m on board,” James says from his own bed. He’s levitating his shoes about the room idly. “Hey Pads, can we draw anything we want?” 
Sirius ponders this for a moment. “If you do a dick, it has to be small, and I’m putting an arrow with your name next to it.” 
James’ smile fades, and he lets the shoes drop. “You’re no fun.” 
“I don’t know,” you say to Remus, looking up at him from your chosen spot on the floor of their dorm. “It’s his body, I say let him cover it in shitty tattoos if that’s what he wants.” 
“Yes!” Sirius hops down from his bed to throw an arm around your shoulders, planting a kiss on your cheek. “That’s what I’m talking about, that’s my girl!” 
You’d begun to glow at his over-the-top praise, but you dim at the last bit. Sirius must feel it; he looks over at you quizzically as Remus says for the fifth time, “That’s fine, but I won’t have anything to do with it.” 
“Well, it’ll…” Sirius’ eyebrows furrow as he continues to watch you. You try to bury your discontent where he can’t see it, but once he catches a whiff of melancholy he becomes a dog with a bone. The levity slowly leeches from his voice. “It’ll be more fun if you all do it…Sorry, sweetheart, is everything alright?” 
You don’t want the attention, but you can’t bring yourself to lie. “I didn’t mean to distract you,” you say softly, shoulders hunching forward. “Keep going.” 
“No, that’s alright.” His slender fingers squeeze at your shoulder like he can tell you need the comfort. “It’s not actually important. What’s on your mind?” 
You want to tell him. You want to tell all of them, you have for weeks, but is there ever a right time? When the boys had first asked you out, it felt too abrupt to say anything, like you were making a big deal out of nothing because they didn’t even know you all that well. But now you’ve turned serious faster than you could’ve seen coming, and they feel like they do know you that well. And the longer you go without telling them, the more like you feel like you’re keeping some dirty secret. 
You should have just corrected them the first time they’d gotten your pronouns wrong. Each time feels like someone’s chipping away at your heart with a toothpick, the pain lessened by your surety in their good intentions but still very much there. It’s almost worse, now, to be on the precipice of falling in love with people who you don’t feel really know you, and it’s all your own fault.
This isn’t how you’d imagined the conversation coming about, but it might be the best chance you get for a while. 
“I, uh.” You clear your throat, unsure if you should move out from under Sirius’ arm for this conversation but really not wanting to. “I don’t…listen, it’s not your fault, but I don’t really like it when you call me your girl.” 
Sirius lets his arm drop to look at you properly, hurt flashing across his features. You take his hand, selfish thing that you are. “I mean it, it’s really not your fault.” It’s more plea than promise. “It’s just that I don’t—I don’t really see myself as a girl. I’m sorry.” 
You watch confusion take hold in Sirius’ expression before letting your eyes flit to the other boys. James looks tentatively like he’s beginning to understand, and Remus’ face is carefully controlled. He leans his elbows on his knees, looking down at you. 
“What do you mean by that, honey?” 
You know the endearment is meant to soften the question, but you get all tense around the middle anyway. 
“Just that…” You swallow, and James offers you a small smile of encouragement. “I don’t really see myself as any gender. It’s…it’s called nonbinary, I don’t know if you might’ve heard of it before? I’m really sorry I didn’t say something sooner.” 
“Hey, that’s alright.” James kicks a foot out from his bed, nudging your leg gently. “I’m really glad you told us, angel. Thank you.” 
You try to return his smile, chewing your lip. 
“Merlin, I thought you meant you didn’t want to be our girl,” Sirius sighs, bumping your shoulder with his. “That would have been unacceptable. You can be our something-else, though, if you like.” 
This is going well, you tell yourself. They’re being as kind as you’d always expected. Still, you don’t feel like they fully understand what you’re so clumsily trying to tell them.
“I get it if this changes things for you,” you say, and when you lean away from Sirius’ touch, he doesn’t chase you. “I know this is…you signed on for a girlfriend, not this.” 
The gentle smile drops from James’ face. His eyebrows twitch together uncertainly. “We…what? No, we didn’t…we didn’t ‘sign on’ for anything like that. We signed on for you.” 
“Darling,” Remus says, in that careful, measured voice that you can’t decide if you should be nervous about, “I don’t know a lot about this, so correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the point that you’re still you? You’re just telling us how you’d like to be treated and understood, right?”
You take a second to run over his words in your head before nodding. 
Everything about Remus has gone soft, from his eyes to the gentle uptilt of his mouth. “Then James is right. Nothing has changed. I mean, we can make any changes to our relationship that make you more comfortable, but nothing about how much we care for you is any different.” 
“And look around you, sweetheart.” Laughter livens Sirius’ tone. “It’s not like any of us are only dating girls.” 
A smile tugs at your lips. “That’s a good point,” you mumble, and he laughs, arm reclaiming its spot around your shoulders. 
“Yeah, I actually do make those sometimes,” he teases. “Listen, gorgeous, I don’t think anyone here has a problem with you being whoever you are. Just tell us what you like to be called, and we will. And if there’s anything we do that you don’t like,” he adds, giving your shoulder a little squeeze, “you can tell us those things too.” 
James nods, emphatic. “Exactly. We want to support you, angel. Thanks for telling us, but just keep talking to us when you can, okay?” 
You have to bite down on your lip to contain the full scope of your smile. “Okay,” you promise him, overflowing with a gratitude that feels a lot like love. “Thanks. You guys are too sweet to me.” 
Remus makes a pfft sound. “Dove, I cannot believe that is your standard for sweetness. You’ve set the bar far too low.” 
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holllandtrash · 1 year
Text
not good enough | charles leclerc social media au
paring: charles leclerc x reader
charles' girlfriend gets a lot of hate online and he usually stays out it because she knows how to handle it...but sometimes people just need a little reminder that they're in love asian faceclaim: christina nadin - british/filipino influencer
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 26,522 others
yourusername 'come to paris' charles said, 'it'll be fun' mate it literally smells like ass and i dont speak french
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charles_leclerc i've been translating everything for you, you're fine
pierregasly should have visited milan instead
charles_leclerc are you hitting on my girlfriend pierregasly milan is simply better than paris yourusername we're going to milan next time
hamiltyres shes so real for this
lightsouthannah she complains about everything why does charles put up with her
55carlando4 are they there for paris fashion week??
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liked by charles_leclerc, noviaelegante and 43,159 others
yourusername day 2
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pierregasly how did charles convince you to leave the hotel?
yourusername he told me i wouldn't have to stay for the fashion show yourusername he lied charles_leclerc 🙄🙄🙄
noviaelegante love the fit😍 check your dm's girly!
hammilstop is it just me or does y/n seen ungrateful?
jemmaf1 yeah i was thinking the same thing
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 412,110 others
charles_leclerc Celine Homme 2023🖤 Merci celine
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yourusername pretty
charles_leclerc you should have came with yourusername i had nothing to wear charles_leclerc thats a horrible excuse
scuderiaferrari 😍😍😍😍
luvfrom63 i dont understand why y/n goes to paris with charles but then refuses to attend the shows
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liked by charles_leclerc, noviaelegante and 31,121 others
tagged: noviaelegante
yourusername a sustainable fashion show that promotes empowering women living in recovering nations? sign me up
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noviaelegante so happy to have you attend🖤
charles_leclerc you should have modelled one of them
yourusername im not putting on a wedding dress until you give me a reason to
pierregasly when are you walking down the aisle?
yourusername when someone puts a rock on my finger pierregasly is this an open invitation? charles_leclerc mate dont even think about proposing to my girl
channyinthepaddock THATS what she wore to the show? girl💀
kaleyschumacher its a no from me
lewisfanclub im sorry are we not going to talk about pierre's comments????????
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 297,192 others
charles_leclerc The man!! doni.nahmias
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yourusername sorry i missed your show doni.nahmias ❤️❤️
doni.nahmias the drinks are on your tab tonight yourusername thats fair
caraf1fan charles slays at another fashion show and y/n can't even bother to attend and support her friend? what is wrong with her
mickysunshine y/n do better💀💀
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yourusername
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liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 37,612 others
yourusername these pictures were taken within 45 minutes of each other
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charles_leclerc beautiful in both 🖤
pierregasly so she does know how to dress up
yourusername its our last night in paris i figured i'd put in some effort
hannahsformula idk i still think charles can do better than her
vivvverstappen nah her and charles are a power couple and anyone who says otherwise is so so wrong
luvforlance but why hasn't charles said anything about what shes been dealing with online 💀 he defends her the same way justin bieber defends hailey
yourusername im a big girl i can handle myself
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 417,923 others
charles_leclerc thank you dior for helping me end Paris Fashion Week in style
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dior 🖤😍
yourusername hot
liked by charles_leclerc
mickandkmags forever wondering how y/n managed to pull charles when he looks like that and she wears jumpers and sweats 99% of the time
yourusername he loves my personality pierregasly yeah sure thats it
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 11,619 others
yourusername prettier than paris if you ask me
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charles_leclerc i agree
pierregasly not as pretty as milan
charles_leclerc will you please shut up about milan
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 57,124 others
yourusername sorry, i thought a bitch on twitter said something
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charles_leclerc oh my
pierregasly oh my x2
landonorris people should piss you off more often
danielricciardo shes a keeper charlesleclerc
charlesleclerc trust me i know
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liked by yourusername, paddockgf and 412,401 others
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charles_leclerc ma chérie
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yourusername but am i hot enough for you?
charles_leclerc i like your personality yourusername good answer
pierregasly 😧😧😧
yourusername close your eyes pierre
yellowhaas charles really said 'shes all mine'
hamiltvvn but can he fight
f1fanclubs for so long people have been saying she doesnt deserve him...besties...i think its the other way around
liked by charles_leclerc
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this felt like a rushed ending but oh well
masterlist here
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bluewxrld07 · 4 months
Text
Cut My Hair
Cole Caufield x female!reader x Ethan Edwards
Warning(s): Angst, situationships, intentions of smut, hints to cheating
A/N: will be a mix of instagram posts :) enjoy!
Summary: Based off of Tate McRae's song Cut My Hair
celebrity.news just posted a photo!
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liked by yourusername, yourbff and 18,796 others
celebrity.news Young and famous hockey star, Cole Caufield, seen at a club in Montreal after a post game win Saturday night! But the twist? The girl in the photos is NOT his girlfriend, well known social media influencer and future sports broadcaster, yourusername!! Possible trouble in paradise??
Click the link in our bio to read the article, and see all the photos and videos!
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user1 Oh no poor y/n 🥺
user2 She is literally the sweetest human being, that's so sad. I can't imagine how hurt she is right now.
user3 She must be so heartbroken right now, that girl in the photo is such a fucking home wrecker!!!
user4 I hope she's okay :( Cole doesn't deserve a baddie like her!!
yourbff just posted a photo!
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liked by yourusername, edwards.73, trevorzegras, and 111,741 others
yourbff Heartbroken, angry, sad, confused. Those are just a few I feel for you y/n. He doesn't deserve a real girl like you. His loss baby, I'm so sorry. I'm headed your way right now, be there soon 💜
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user1 send her all of our love <3
jackhughes I am in awe. Let her know if she needs anything, I'll be there.
liked by yourusername
trevorzegras this shit isn't right. my heart goes out for her.
edwards.73 Lu and I are driving out right now. Should be there in twenty.
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colecaufield I'm so sorry
comment deleted by yourbff
*one month later*
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, jackhughes, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 457,596 others
yourusername Just wanna cut my hair, lose myself, make u sweat
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user1 omfg YALL WAKE UP, MOM POSTED
user2 the hair color??? the BOB??? HELLO?!
user3 oh boy if this is her silently @ ing who I think it is, he's messed up with losing her
yourbff oh what is this? best friend is blessing my feed???
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yourbff this bob and hair color was the move, my work here is done
liked by yourusername
jackhughes slay bestie
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jackhughes He's a dumbass
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user4 No because it is the fact that Cole liked this but didn't comment, speaks VOLUMES
user5 Cole done fucked up, she's about to slay this glow up
edwards.73 I'm bringing the vodka
yourusername please don't, I can't look at another thing of alcohol after last night lmao yourbff If he doesn't bring it, I will
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by yourbff, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 601,978 others
yourusername just wanna cut my hair, little black dress, can't forget
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user1 I'm living for these Tate McRae lyrics
yourbff See??? I knew you'd post this one. Fucking hot ass best friend I've got, these men bouta be on the FLOOR tonight
user2 If she doesn't wind up under someone else tonight after what Cole did to her, I WILL CRY
user3 He be creeping on her page tho, I see his ass in those likes.......
tatemcrae a true goddess 😍
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lhughes_06 I'm keeping an eye on you tonight
edwards.73 easy easy, I called dibs first yourbff Both of y'all put your dicks away, and chill out? After all it'll be me who takes care of my girly tonight 😙 yourusername None of you are taking care of me tonight, I'll be fine 🙄 edwards.73 That's what you said last weekend and whose bed did you wind up in.... yourusername shhhhh 😳 edwards.73 lhughes_06 kept me up most of the night edwards.73 Idk what you're talking about lhughes.43 yourusername me neither
user4 Am I sensing a lil sum sum between Ethan and Y/n???
User2 If it's happening, I neeeeeed to know because I'd be here for it
colecaufield 😧
yourbff just posted a photo!
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liked by yourusername, edwards.73, lhughes_06 and 301,473 others
yourbff Just wanna show you, whatever she do, yourusername can do it better
tagged: yourusername, lhughes.43, markestapa, edwards.73
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markestapa What a fucking night
lhughes_06 I think I need a cleanse after that fiasco...
yourbff You sure it wasn't from the lake you boys decided to swim in at two in the morning?
lhughes_06 Don't remind me 😑 yourusername You guys were wilding' last night lhughes.43 markestapa says the wild one herself 🤔 lhughes_06 Yeah yourusername where did you and edwards.73 disappear off to? edwards.73 Nowhere yourusername Nowhere markestapa where tf did you come from edwards.73 edwards.73 I saw I was summoned, so I entered the chat yourbff All of you get out of my comments and argue in the group chat
user1 Ohhhh boy I smell quite the upgrade for miss y/n....
user2 If y/n is seeing Ethan Edwards I will die happy
user3 I'm so curious as to what's between those two rn. Whatever it is, y/n seems happier than when she did with Cole
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colecaufield just posted a photo!
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liked by jackhughes, kirbydach, trevorzegras, girlusername and 96,736 others
colecaufield Heard you got a new guy, that ain't fair
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user1 Nah because it's THE WAY he used Tate McRae lyrics from the same song yourusername has been using on her posts.....
user2 Cole my dude... she deserves better after you did what you did
jackhughes come on C you better than this
trevorzegras she deserves better bro, I'm with jackhughes on this one
girlusername See you soon 🥰
user1 lmfao this girl clueless as fuck user3 Oh honey.... you the home wrecker? sheesh.. user4 DAMN talk about a downgrade 🤣 liked by yourusername
user5 Y'all it's fine he's just depressed and in his feels because he be knowing he cheated and lost a good one
yourusername just posted a photo!
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liked by edwards.73, yourbff, jackhughes, lhughes_06, trevorzegras, and 817,748 others
yourusername Just wanna get messed up, find myself, in his bed
tagged: edwards.73
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user1 I KNEW ITTTTTTTT
user2 now THIS is a pair I can get behind
user3 Their kids are gonna be literal heartbreakers wtf
yourbff about fucking time I was getting antsy. Now get dressed we have a brunch to go to today.
yourusername yes mommy 😣 lhughes.43 Can I call you mommy??? yourbff No yourusername No
edwards.73 Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.
yourusername Have you learned nothing?? edwards.73 you never said I couldn't call you mommy😝 yourusername You're unbelievable edwards.73 Do something about it🤭 liked by yourusername yourbff LET HER GET READY YOU ASSHOLE OR WE WILL BE LATE edwards.73 trevorzegras JOJO.....?? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING...?! liked by yourusername, yourbff, edwards.73
jackhughes I feel like I need to cleanse my eyes from that conversation thread I just read 😨
yourusername You'll survive
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liked by yourbff, lhughes_06, yourusername, markestapa and 778,240 others
edwards.73 Good girls, so overrated
tagged: yourusername
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user1 Wow now this is an upgrade. He gives her her OWN POST????
user2 Cole could never
user1 He was an embarassment
markestapa WOAH give us all a warning here fifty shades of grey!
yourbff Treat her like a queen, Edwards!!!!!!
edwards.73 No.... I'll treat her like a Goddess 🤩 yourusername How long did you wait to use that one? edwards.73 edwards.73 too long yourusername yourbff Long enough edwards.73
lhughes_06 Is the caption hinting that yourusername is a certified baddie?
yourbff yes edwards.73 yes yourusername yes markestapa yes jackhughes yes lhughes.43 Okay no need for the attack damn
yourusername My Eddy 🥰
edwards.73 My baby 😘
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