#and they just throw out the same stereotypes others have on those with that dialect

[whalehouse1]

Also as a BluePulse shipper, finding out Bart is based in Alabama (I know, I know his vernacular would be different due to his age and upbringing along with his culture but I’m going to do what comics do with language and culture just for this) has been a gift for this reason alone.

JL member: What are you two doing?

Bart: Why nuthin’ much stranger. We’re just two swee’d yun’ southern boys havin’ a swell ol’ time.

Jaime: We’re jus’ ea’din’ sum go’ ol’ American apple pie an’ enjoyin’ the pleasure of eachothah’s company.

[mishkakagehishka]

Hello! I've been wanting to ask you this for some time now... who is that Mika guy you talk about? Is it the anime cartoon thing you post sometimes? Is it a videogame? A comic? Why do you like him so much?

It makes me feel old haha because it is completely out of all the other fandom things I see around and I'm super confused, as if it came from a different universe lol

Oh no i hope it didn't make you feel old in a bad way or anything😭 don't worry about it, i feel like in our countries, ensemble stars isn't really much of a thing yet? Games like that in general. Even if they were, enstars is region-locked and all.

But yeah, Mika is from a mobile rhythm game! It's p much a rhythm game like any other, tho it being a "free" mobile game, it does have gacha mechanics </3 it's fun tho and Mika is my Absolute Fave because he's just so [holds him gently] [proceeds to squeeze him until his eyes pop out]

We had a survey that asked the same question of "why is your fave your fave" and it really is smth i could write essays on, but, to keep it short, he's a Freak and i do love creepy wet freaks in fiction. He has read the Mabinogion in middle English, but doesn't know who Chaplin is. He loves horror movies and is said to draw eroguro. He dumpsterdives in his free time, finding thrown away plushies, mending them and keeping them. All of his pajamas are similarly just clothes he got out of the rubbish and mended (thrifty king tbh) He speaks in a dialect commonly associated with comedians and considered a "hick" dialect and he's often talked about the split between what people expect him to act like (funnyman extrovert) vs how he actually is (shy introvert) and how he ends up looking because of that (aloof/stuck up). He is simply everything to me. And he's so weird... 😭💞 he thought he accidentally killed his roommate and proceeded to almost bury him alive in the dorm courtyard. Has said he sleeps better after looking at "scary pictures"😭

He's just my little meow meow tbh he likes creepy-cute and even he himself has that sort of gap going on, bc he's generally a rather adorable guy, he made a brooch for his best friend bc she wasn't able to buy one she liked, he really wants to prove himself as an artist both in terms of music and designing/sewing and he seems to be growing a spine as of recent (i don't wanna like. Confuse you by bringing up lore, but it's also one of the things that have me going heart eyes, in early stories he was fine being treated like a doll to be puppeteered, but he's "learning to be human" as of recent and has made really good steps, incl yelling at and threatening to throw away his former puppeteer's prized possession + implying he'll beat him up bc he threw away smth of his without asking), but he's also had those moments of "what the hell" like when he threatened to either kill himself or his unitmate's future spouse if he ever gets married, or when he threw a tantrum because said unitmate was paying more attention to a literal 15yo than him.

I think he's neat tbh a combination of his aesthetic being creepy-cute, his unit's aesthetic leaning into steampunk (both of which are so 💞💞 to me), him being a dialect-speaker, and then the fact that he's the "aww he's so cute [gets to know him] oh he's a little bit fucked up" type just really appeals to me. And his hidden intellect, there's a lotta moments where you can just tell that he's Actually Intelligent, but he's the first who'll say stuff like "sorry i dropped my brains somewhere" and call himself dumb. Personally, I interpret it as either him leaning into stereotypes associated with his dialect considering the "i feel like i let people down when they find out what i'm like bc they expect me to be totally diff bc of the way i speak" or him not liking having responsibilities so he tries to "i'm too dumb to do this on my own" his way out of the possibility of disappointing people by failing.

[idiotic-genius]

How to write a foreign character in a new country

Requested by @ii-maysqq

So when you write a story, some of your characters might travel the world and see new places. That can be really scary and confusing at times! Here’s a small guide on how to write that realistically.

1. What does the character already know about the country?

Depending on how spontaneously they decided to get there, they might know very little about the culture and rules of the country. For example, what if you came to Greece without knowing that nodding your head up meant “no” instead of “yes” (which would be nodding your head down)? So that’s something you should think about first. Did the character do research before their travel? Did they just google it on the plane or did they spend at least a month planning? This could greatly affect how confident the character is in themselves when they arrive. That planning also has to do with the character’s personality, whether or not their quickly anxious and how spontaneous and confident they are in general.

2. How different is the new country from their own country?

There’s a big difference between going from the Netherlands to Germany and going from Russia to Japan. Your character might experience something called a “culture shock”, which means that they start feeling absolutely out of place because they don’t feel incorporated in the new culture they’ve got thrown into. For this, you should try to research the different cultures of the character’s original country and the one they are visiting. Sometimes, there’s also the possibility that the different countries are quite similar. That can be used for funny situations where the character thinks everything’s fine and familiar and then something happens that throws them of. What about for example England and America? They aren’t so different in many ways, but one big thing that pops into mind is that in England you drive on the left side of the road, and in America they drive on the right. Imagine stepping out of the airport, thinking to yourself “Yass welcome to America!” and then almost getting run over by a car because you looked the wrong side of the road- That can be quite shocking. But the character might also find comfort in the small things that remind them of their original country. You could also try to find out how the currencies are in the two countries- will the character have to adapt to a new system? Do they have to go to the bank to exchange currencies? Will they need time to get used to paying “2 dollars” instead of “17,85 Dirham”, or is the currency the same after all? That’s an important thing to take into consideration.

3. Languages

Of course, language is a very important part of traveling and living in a new country. In most countries, people can speak English and that’s really practical, but on longterm, not knowing the language of a country you want to live in evolves into a grave problem. And even if your character already knows the language, modern slang could be a real struggle. Textbook-Vocabulary might be enough for work and studying, but in daily life, not knowing what certain words mean can get so very annoying. Another thing to consider when including struggles with language could be accents and dialects. As an example, people from the north of Germany and people from the South can barely understand each other because of their different dialects, so even if someone knows German, they might have to learn even more just to live in a certain area of the country. Also, obviously British English and American English are not the same at all. On one side, there’s the accent, on the other, some words are completely different. In school, we used to do exercises that were like vocabulary tests where you had to “translate” words from British to American English, which included “cab” and “taxi”, “holiday” and “vacation” and so on and so forth. The point is, even if your character already speaks the “right” language, locals will probably notice rather quickly that they are not from around, whether it would be from their accent, because they don’t know the slang or because they use different words for the same thing.

4. People and structures

This point is a little abstract, but I wanted to include it anyways. Depending on how far away the character is traveling, they will probably encounter people that behave very differently than what they are used to. Here, you should look out that you don’t overdo stereotypes. However, you can say with quite some certainty that America is much more diverse than Germany, and that in France, the people are more warm and matey than in England. But don’t go into the extremes and make every American a bald-eagle-breeder that quotes the Declaration of Independence at every possible occasion and every German a beer-loving N*zi, that’s just unrealistic. With “structures”, I mean that you could look into the classical architectural styles of the country that the character came from and the one they’re in now. Sometimes, those can be very different, so it can be a cool detail to include in your story.

5. Reactions

As mentioned, when you’re new to a country, people WILL notice. The question is, how do they react? This also has to do with where exactly your character is living, not only country-wise, but also whether they’re in a big city, a suburban neighborhood or the countryside. Furthermore, of course you’ll have to find fitting reactions for your character. Are they intimidated by the big buildings of the city because they’ve only known small two-level-builds so far? Are they excited to get to know new people and learn a new language, or are they scared? You should consider that and more to make that part of your story as realistic as possible.

6. Example

As originally requested, here’s some inspiration for writing a british character coming to America for work/study.

They’ll probably be very much confused by what side of the road the cars drive on, and, depending on whether they have a car, will have to concentrate a great deal the first few times they drive themselves. They will have to adapt to the American English and try to stop saying “chips” instead of “fries” when ordering, and it their accent could make them insecure at times, especially if they’re surrounded by locals. Furthermore, they would have to participate in Thanksgiving and the Independence Day because all of their new acquaintances will. Halloween may not be a much bigger deal in America than it is in England (because it’s a really important thing there), but the Christmas traditions can differ greatly. The character would have to deal with the fact that they pay in dollars now instead of pounds, and would have to arrange themselves with the knowledge that one of their favorite snacks doesn’t exist in America.

[g3nosarchive]

i've noticed a bunch of people are still trying to argue w me over the aave links and stuff i had in the beginning of that post, and in general still confused when i, or others say, don't use aave if you aren't black.

before i start here are some links for y'all who ignore these type of posts

a tumblr post i found that does a great job of explaining

another list of aave

powerpoint on understanding what aave is

regarding that post i linked of a twitter thread with black users calling some aave words slurs - i know it's sarcasm/ satire. no those words are not slurs (w the way tiktok and twitter ran them through the mud they might as well be) but they are aave words. if the post isn't serious enough for you, there's a good 3 links w a lot of information that could help you instead right above it. stop dming me / sending me asks on it and check the original post where i even added an explanation. the rest is going under a cut

1. if you're a foreigner (to america) i'm not expecting you to know not to use aave because you weren't born over here and you might think it's just slang or an informal way of speaking. it is not. aave is more than a dialect - it's actually considered a language and has been around for centuries. thinking of it as merely informal language is erasing the history behind it and adding to the stereotype that black people who speak differently are dumb and uneducated (and that black people who speak "white" or formally are not black enough).

grammatically, aave is correct (there's many studies and articles on this), and like any other language it has it's own rules to follow. regardless of whether you can use aave correctly or not though, now that you do know you have to make an effort to reduce/ stop your use of it. ask yourself, why do you use aave? in what situations do you use aave? what message are you trying to give by using aave? how are you trying to portray yourself by using these words?

if you are using aave to come off as aggressive, cool, hyper-masculine, to apply pressure, when you are angry or have lost control of your emotion, or when you want to scare someone, that in itself is a micro-aggression and prejudice (a step away from racism tbh).

what you are saying is that you have some deep-seated stereotype/prejudicial thought in you - black people only come off as that aggressive, threatening type of people. your anger can only be expressed as 'angry enough' when you say it like a black person does. when you speak, act, or present yourself in a way that black people do, you are taken either as a serious threat, a source of fear, or somebody who seems so cool and different and special.

do you see the problem with that train of thought? thoughts like this contribute to police brutality, medical ignorance towards the issues of black people/ doctors and doctors-to-be thinking black people can't feel pain, the belief that black women are either apathetic or angry with no in-between, the demonization of black culture, the hyper-masculinity forced onto both black men and women (especially including trans women) and a lot more.

2. the difference between using a southern-american way of speaking vs aave. many make the mistake of thinking being from the south means you are automatically using aave. that is wrong; while it seems hard to differentiate between the two, they are not the same thing and have a noticeable difference. the two do share some words between each other, like 'y'all' or 'ain't' but what you have to remember is not all aave is part of 'speaking south'.

southern accents typically draw out their words so if you're from the south, just speak like you normally do and avoid picking up terms you hear solely from black friends/ online (especially twitter or tiktok). I'm not the best on explaining this particular issue so here's this tumblr post.

in addition to this, before you start asking your black friends or your random token smart black blog, go to google. so many things could be fixed with a simple search on the internet. if you can say that you went on google, you checked articles, you checked twitter threads and hell even tumblr posts and still don't understand, that's the only time you should be asking questions (asking a minority group to educate u on issues specific to them is a micro-aggression and you shouldn't be asking anyone who has made it clear they don't like being your personal wikipedia; black people are not your reusable resource.)

3. you were born in the hood or around black people... and? you still need to make an effort to reduce your use of aave. because people think it's okay for them to talk like black people, you get this ridiculous number of non-black poc thinking they have some pass to start saying our slurs. you have people thinking aave wasn't even created by black people, that hispanic groups and nb drag queens and nb gay men created these words (when in reality, non-black gay men are notorious for putting on a blaccent or acting like black women to solidify their break from socially acceptive masculinity but otherwise to keep a sassy, harsh way of speaking. black* LGBT used their rightful terms and had it stolen, butchered, and the history behind it nearly rewritten by non-blacks. while hispanic ethnic groups and black people have been forced into the same run-down communities as each other, we do not have the same struggle, and yet some think they can be us and not actually be us, own what is ours and not even know where it came from and etc, leading to cultural appropriation from hairstyles to our words).

4. when somebody calls you out for using aave as a non-black person please don't throw in some excuse in there. just apologize, thank them for letting you know and subsequently educate yourself on any other words you might be using that's considered aave. saying it's hard to correct is unnecessary; nobody needs to know all that. just show that you understand and change your actions.

if you are non black and reading this thinking 'i don't do any of that' read it over. there is a high chance you do but you wanna pick and choose which post applies to you or not because nobody's called you out yet, or you're different.

ok to reblog, nonblack people stay silent

[thenamesblurrito]

Cybertronix and accents

So, Cybertronix does have different dialects, most notably those of the colonies, the “founder’s tongue” of the old city-states where insular cultures have created their own version of the planet wide language, and the half code/half dialect junker talk, incredibly mutable and diverse, sometimes practically a foreign language to a junker from just the other side of the same city. Different dialects are still all Cybertronix, and mostly mutually intelligible, but they contribute a lot to perception and personality.

This means, of course, I’m gonna assign human accents to represent the vibes of a character’s speech.

(by the way, if you’re worried that I’m just taking a grab bag of random foreign accents and throwing them around, I’m not. Most of these accents I’ve heard from real people before, usually other uni students or roommates. I’m not just relying on stereotypical media portrayals and bad voice acting, I’m drawing on personal experience and associations with fond memories of my international friends.)

-40′s/50′s American Television Actors Accent: bog-standard “proper” Cybertronix, which of course is mostly just Iacon, Praxus, Polyhex, and Altihex. Upper class society in Rodion also sound like this.

people who sound like this: Orion Pax, Minimus Ambus, Arcee, Blackarachnia and Deadlock but very rough around the edges. Shockwave affects an accent like this to be more acceptable to his audience in the Senate. The Grand Architect technically has this accent, but the most striking thing about his voice is how impassive and intimidating he sounds, rather than his pronunciation.

-Posh Snobbish British Schoolboys Accent: much of Vos, where the higher you go, the more upper class you are, and thus the more posh and snobbish you are.

people who sound like this: Starscream, but he affects a heavier accent than he had as a middle class child. Skywarp and Thundercracker have mostly dropped theirs. Brainstorm, Perceptor. Slipstream has a very posh accent.

-German, But Like Specifically A Bavarian Accent: Tesarus, Helex, and parts of rural Tyrest. A strong, “noble” accent left over from a huge united empire prior to a united Cybertron, still considered a mark of a member of the backbone of society.

people who sound like this: Predaking, Tarantulas, Fort Max, Tailgate, Dion.

-German, But Like Specifically A Westphalian Accent: Tesarus mostly, with some communities in Stanix and groundside Vos. Considered rougher than the more “cultured” version above.

people who sound like this: Blitzwing, Makeshift, Jhiaxus, Shockwave when he gets too emotional or tired and forgets to stay upper class. Forestock also tries to drop this accent, but a lil less successfully.

(I’m also imagining some mix of Standard American German and Pennsylvania Dutch accents to be an in-between blend of standard Cybertronix and thicker Tesaran-style dialects.)

-Swiss French Because I’ll Be Damned Before I Willingly Give Anything Of France To Any Character Of Mine, Even An Accent: Tyrest and some of Praxus, also Crystal City. Lovely and charming, supposedly a mark of someone graceful and benign.

people who sound like this: Councilmember Tyrest, Skyfire, Terminus although he’s lost much of his accent. Prowl, Bluestreak, Smokescreen in his natural voice but he often obfuscates his accent.

-That Brooklyn Or Jersey Accent Where You Pronounce It Like Joizee: lower class Iacon, Polyhex, and most of Rodion. Sometimes called the junker’s accent (which is terribly inaccurate), folks with this accent aren’t going to be lauded by the upper class anytime soon. Full of slang and euphemisms.

people who sound like this: Rumble and Frenzy, Ravage, Powerglide, Swindle. Nightracer, Bludgeon, Wheelie, and Red Alert all have a specific version of this that marks them as junkers. Springer used to, but he’s started copying Prowl’s accent now. Hot Rod to a small degree.

-An Absolute Ace Aussie Accent: Carcer! Which, much like Australia, started as a penal colony that then turned into a regular colony and then a nation proper. It’s younger than the other colonies, and far from Cybertron, so they’re considered kind of backward and stupid, which means anyone with their accent is often automatically dismissed.

people who sound like this: listen I need you to imagine Ariel speaking like Steve Irwin but about to punch a croc instead of wrestle it. Also Obsidian.

-Brazilian, But Like Specifically Recife Accent: Tyger Pax, thickest in the city itself. Very animated and vibrant, super expressive, sometimes criticized for being loud, but it’s also very fun to listen to.

people who sound like this: Jazz, Alpha Trion but he sounds like he’s faking it, First Aid. Rosanna has been touring Cybertron as a pop star for long enough that she needs to deliberately practice her accent to keep it.

-Brazilian, But Like Specifically Southern Accent: Velocitron! Not only is the accent notable, but the speed at which they speak is very distinctive. They gotta say Everything Right Now Immediately.

people who sound like this: Moonracer, Swerve, Blurr (but he’s got a stutter too), Override, Knock Out.

-Portuguese, As In The Country, Which Is Different Than A Brazilian Accent: Eukaris! They speak very casually, unhurried, like a nice warm evening around the dinner table with family.

people who sound like this: Lickety-Split. I haven’t decided who else is from Eukaris yet.

-Sort Of Yiddish, Sort Of Polish, Sort Of Greek, I’m Thinking Specifically Of One Tricultural Friend’s Accent: Much of Tarn, a few parts of Kaon, and bits of Helex. Not wildly different from standard Cybertronix, but strong and heated and very opinionated, a good accent to be angry in.

people who sound like this: Cogman, Wheeljack, Lugnut, Megatron though he’s lost some of it.

-Russian, Not Evil Movie Villain Russian, Just A Real Russian Accent: Kaon and a good half of Tarn. They are very precise with what they mean, but not so much with the grammar and order of their words, which means their precision communication is often lost on outsiders.

people who sound like this: Strika, Damus, Wasp.

-Very Sweet, Folksy Ukrainian Accent: Devisiun! On a colony where everyone is born with siblings, most folks also adopt a pattern of speaking with or over people, especially with family and people they know best. A Cybertronian will consider a Devisian rude for talking in the middle of their sentence, but that’s a normal conversation for a Devisian! They’d consider it rude if the Cybertronian didn’t start responding to them in the middle of their sentence.

people who sound like this: Jetfire and Jetstorm, complete with finishing each other’s sentences.

-Korean Accent, Which Is Actually Closest To The Original Primal Vernacular: Caminus! They held on very tightly to their roots as a colony founded directly by one of the first Primes, so they’ve preserved a version of the first language that, while mutated by usage over the megavorns, is still closely connected to the tongue of the ancients.

people who sound like this: Windblade, Chromia, Firestar, Flareup, Nautica, some people swear Maccadam has a hint of this accent.

-Deep Southern Redneck Bumpkin Drawl From Down On The Range Accent: the moons! Luna 1 and 2 have very similar dialects, and very thick country drawls.

people who sound like this: Ironhide, Cosmos, Bulkhead, Kup uses this one because he picked it up on an early visit to Luna 1 and liked it so he keeps it.

[theleftovertaco]

Ratel

Someone sent me this amazingly specific ask about a Afro- Caribbean girl at Hogwarts and I loved the idea so this is the result. I would like to preface this by saying that I am not afro-Caribbean. While I did spend a few hours researching Trinidadian, Kenyan and Nigerian culture, food and customs, I am extremely sorry if anything here looks stereotypical or if i get something wrong. Please correct me if I mess up because I would never want to dishonor a person’s culture or country.

ONTO THE STORY

Y/N’s arrival had been a bit of an event. Transfer students were rare, and when they occurred, they were treated as a big deal, since often they only happened for some political reason of the students parents. This was exactly the case with Y/N

Dumbledore had stepped to the front of the Great Hall at the beginning of the year after the first years had been sorted and called everyone’s attention.

“This year, we have a new 4th year transfer student joining us,” excited chatter erupted around the room, “I trust you will make her feel welcome and show her what Hogwarts School is all about. Please welcome Mrs. Y/N  Y/L/N from Uagadou School of Magic in Uganda!” The doors opened and you walked through, head high and looking straight ahead despite the stares that followed you.

Professor McGonagall gave you a smile and instructed you to the stool for your sorting. 

The hat barely touched your head before “HUFFLEPUFF” was exclaimed and rapturous applause came from the yellow and black table. 

As you sat down for the feast, a tall boy with fluffy brown hair reached out to shake your hand, “I’m Cedric Diggory, sixth year. That was quite an entrance. Welcome to Hufflepuff.” 

“Thank you.”

“Are you surprised to be in our house? Honestly with the way you carried yourself I would have guessed Slytherin.”

“Not really. Hufflepuff is the house of the loyal, kind, and hardworking. Just because I’m sharp or harsh looking doesn’t mean I can’t have those traits.”

He looked at you in shock

“You’ve done your research. Yeah, I guess you’re right, a person can be more than one thing. So what’s Uganda like?”

“To be honest, I’m not sure. I went to school at Uagadou but my family is mostly Nigerian, Kenyan, and Trinidadian and most of my life we’ve spent moving around those areas and the Americas. My parents have some sort of business here for the next year or so, and I decided that I might as well try a new school, so they let me come here.” 

“Oh that sounds fun!” A younger blonde girl jumped into the conversation, “Sorry to interrupt. Hannah Abbot, third year.” You nodded her way and shook her hand as well as other Hufflepuff’s began to introduce themselves and listen into the conversation. 

“So,” Susan Bones asked, “Do you speak any other languages?” 

You nodded and listed them off, “Yes. Officially, English is the main language in Nigeria but in Kenya and Uganda, Swahili is also common. I also speak Spanish, Portugese, and I’m familiar with French and the Trinidadian dialects of French as well as French Creole.” A chorus of wows surrounded you. 

“What’s Uagadou like?”

“It’s nice, just very different from what I can tell. They are a lot more loose about how they teach things there. It’s strange, everyone here is dependent on wands.”

“You don’t use wands?”

“We do, but before that we’re taught to use magic with our hands and nonverbally. Helps avoid detection and makes it easy to still use magic if we’re disarmed. Dependence on a wand is pretty strictly European. Almost every other country learns without them first.”

“So you can just do magic, like with your hands?”

“Yup.” You flicked your fingers and the fork and knife in front of your plate did a little dance before picking up a piece of chicken and bringing it too your mouth.”

You looked around and your cutlery show had attracted the attention of a few of the surrounding houses students as well as professor Flitwick’s attention.

“That was marvelous, Mrs. Y/L/N! Would you mind demonstrating some of that again in my class tomorrow?” 

“Sure, I have charms tomorrow at 2 pm so it should work.” He nodded and walked back to his table with the other professors.

The conversation deviated and eventually with dinner over, you were ushered to the coziness of the Hufflepuff common room and dorms. Plants and comfy blankets were all about the rooms. This was exactly the house you belonged to.

-----------------------------------

Breakfast the next day saw a new set of questions and some repeats from other houses students who hadn’t gotten the chance to ask. Word had made it’s rounds by then, and people realized you were exceptionally gifted. 

During your free period after lunch, you were practically assaulted by a set of identical red headed string beans.

“You’re the transfer student right?”

“Yes, I-”

“We heard you’re gifted.”

“I mean I suppose-”

“What else can you do?”

“Can you show us?”

“Someone said you’re already an animagus?”

“OK SHUSH! One. I am not a goddamn zoo animal for you to just ask to do tricks at your whim. Two. One question at a time, for fuck’s sake.” 

Shocked identical looks were followed by sheepish remorse.

“And three. Yes I am and animagus.”

One of them stepped forward.

“Sorry, that was kind of rude of us. We didn’t mean to come off so pushy. I’m George. He’s Fred.”

Fred also apologized and once you accepted, they asked again, albeit a little more gently.

“So, what animal can you turn into?” Fred asked slowly, like he thought he might annoy you again if he asked. 

“You don’t have to talk that slowly, I won’t bite.” Fred laughed some and motioned for you to continue.

“I’m a Ratel.”

“A wot?”

“Also known as a honey badger.”

“Ohhhh.” Fred gasped

“I actually like that better than honeybadger. Sounds nicer.”

“Can we call you that? Ratel?” You shrugged and from there on out Ratel was more your name than your actual one. The teachers, staff, students. Even Dumbledore called you that. 

---------------------------

The one group of people you refused to tolerate was Malfoy and his goon-squad. 

It’s the superiority complex for me. 

And everyone. 

“How dare you look at me, filthy little-”

“Malfoy I know you weren’t just trying to beat up another first year.” You marched over to him with Neville, Luna, and the twins behind you. Crabbe and Goyle immediately dropped the Ravenclaw they had hoisted over their shoulders, and the small boy raced behind you and clutched onto your side. Crabbe and Goyle knew not to mess with you. Not after the thrashing you had given them before winter break. 

Apparently Draco hadn’t learned the same lesson.

“Technically, I wasn’t.”

“Not you trying to use that smart shit with me. Why don’t you pick on someone your own size.”

“And if I don’t? What are you gonna do Princess?”

Princess. Absolutely not. 

You stormed over to him, grabbed his pressed collar (fucking prick) and slammed him against a tree. 

“If you even look in the direction of any of the younger kids. If you even look my way, or my friends way, or anyone’s way really. I will shove your own wand so far up your ass your can taste it, throw you to the forbidden forest, chuck whatever is left of you at the Whomping Willow, and then throw the remains in a disintegrating solution. Don’t try me. You know I’ll do it.”

You leaned back, and then punched him in the sternum. He crumpled to the ground before stumbling back up and running off. 

You checked over the first year and then sent him on his way. As you walked off with the others, Neville spoke up. 

“I’ve never heard of a disintegrating solution. Did you just make that up?”

“No, my mother and her twin have this old family book of spells and potions. It’s been passed down through the past few generations and people add to it often.”

“Wicked! Is that how you managed to remove Parkinson’s nose the other day?” Fred asked.

“Yup. She still in the infirmary?” 

George laughed before responding, “Yeah, Pomphrey still can’t figure out how to reattach it and Parkinson refuses to say who did it.”

Everyone laughed as you headed to the library. 

----------------------

“What are you doing in here?” Dean and Seamus stepped behind the portrait in the kitchens. 

“Jesus CHRIST! You scared me.”

Seamus smiled and kissed your cheek, “Sorry, love. So, whatcha making?” He leaned over the pot you were stirring. 

“Trinidadian curry. I missed home, and no offense, but British food has little to no flavor.”

“None taken- Mm! Thasth really goof!” His mouth was full but you picked up the gist. Dean laughed as he also stole a bite.

“Quit it you two. It’s not quite done yet.” 

“Fine.”

“Sorry, Ratel.”

-------------------

“Harry James Potter!” Harry jumped as you stormed into the Gryffindor common room.

“How did you even get in here, you’re a hufflepuff?”

“Don’t change the subject. Why didn’t you tell me you were getting headaches? I just had to find out from Hermione!” 

“Ratel, it’s not a big deal calm dow-”

“Kid. If you’re getting headaches everyday you need to get some help for it.”

“I’m not a kid, and it’s none of your concern!”

“You’re my friend. Of course it’s my concern. And don’t pull all that ‘Oh I’m the Chosen One, I need to do shit by myself’ because it’s dumb, ok Harry.”

He paused, “Fine… I’m sorry.”

“Damn right you are, now sit your ass down and I’ll grab you a headache potion.”

“Ok… Hey, Ratel?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

--------------------------

“The mandrake leaf has been in your mouth all month, you’ll all be fine.” Fred, George, Seamus, Dean, Luna, Neville, Cedric, Ron, Harry and Hermione all stood surrounding you in a circle as you held a glass phial. A flask of a potion was passed around and then each of them chanted the needed incantation.

All around you, each of them shrunk or grew as their form took place. 

Fred and George transformed into identical hyenas who turned towards each other and erupted into a high pitched cacophony of screeching and laughing. Seamus turned into a phoenix with bright orange and yellow plumage, while Dean turned into a rather large fluffy golden retriever. Luna turned into a white hare and proceeded to dart around the hill you were on. Neville was now a meerkat. Cedric was a Lynx. Ron was now a roaring lion, Hermione now a river otter, and Harry a similar Stag to his father’s. 

You shrunk down to your badger form and the lot of you rushed around for the next few hours until the sun came up. Racing, messing with each other, 

Hogwarts had turned into home.

--------------------

If you saw something incorrect or inconsistent with any culture PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN FIX IT. There is such a lack of POC representation in the fandom and as someone who is latina, I love when I see even a scrap of representation so after this I will probably start doing more like this (likely more mexican/ salvadoran cause thats where a lot of my family is from).

Also I’m sorry if this is too long or I wasn't able to get every detail in I hope this was what anon wanted! 

[sim-songs]

“hi, I’m not from the US” ask set

So I wanted to answer all of these, because why not you know? @dreamsongsims now you can learn more about Belgium ;)

It’s under the read more so I don’t clog up your dashboards.

1. favourite place in your country? Honestly my home. I am living in Antwerp right now with the bf and I honestly love it, even though we aren’t really going outside much right now bc of the virus. I do miss the green and the “not city” smell haha

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? I am okay with both. My family always goes on vacations during holidays, the last few years we’ve gone to Thailand for example but I’m more interested in staying closer to home. I LOVE Norway and want to go on holiday there again but it’s expensive.

3. does your country have access to sea? Yes. 67 kilometers of ugly “badsteden” lol (literally means bathing towns). To be honest I like the coast in the Netherlands better because it isn’t as gray and superficial.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? A nice “frietje van de frituur” (french fries), specifically a “frietje speciaal”, that’s french fries with ketchup, mayo and thinly sliced onion.

5. favourite song in your native language? I hate Belgian music, absolutely despise every Dutch song on the radio. But if I have to pick one its Goud from Bazart, it’s an older song by now but it’s one of the few I did not mind listening to.

6. most hated song in your native language? As soon as I read this I immediately thought of Banaan from Jebroer. Just shudders ugh. But really all Dutch songs in this style.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? I’m gonna paste my earlier answer here: Hmm that's a hard one for me... Gezellig is a word I've always liked bc it doesn't have a real translation, just like cozy or smt. Another one I like is grassprietjes, meaning blades of grass bc it sounds funny and kinda rolls of the tongue and non dutch people will never be able to properly say that! and a third is eenzaam, meaning lonely. I don't really know why I like that one tbh

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? I don’t really remember ever being confused for another nationality. I have read that Dutch sounds like German on crack, and that Belgian Dutch is easier than Netherlands Dutch for foreigners.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? Visit most: France and Germany, I have been to them both already but never for long and a long time ago. Know best: Probably the Netherlands. We share a language after all so we share some cultural things! (Does Temptation Island count as a cultural thing lol?)

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? Mmm tough one to answer, because me and my bf are big English speakers so most of our swearing is of the “fuck” variety. I like “godverdomme” (god dammit) and what my dad sometimes says “godverdomme miljaarde nondeju” (there is literally nothing I can do to translate this)

11. favourite native writer/poet? I can’t think of any poets, but I like the writer Valerie Eykmans, specifically the book “Verloren Maandag”

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? So I really like “Het Weer” by Hugo Claus, I even have a poster in our living room with the poem in his handwriting.

Weather

How was the weather in the country without you? At first mist fell over the concrete mountains.

Then the sun hung like mist over the mother-of-pearl sand.

Then the sky moved and became clammy as your armpits.

A lightning closed my teeth.

And everywhere the smell rose of the big animals that don't exist

unless in the ringing of your ear, in the rustle of your hair.

That's how it was back there without you. You are the air pressure and the dew and the snow in my skull.

It does not rhyme much in Dutch, it’s more about the rhythm of the words, so as far as the translation goes it’s pretty accurate in it’s contents but the rhythm is definitely off in the translated version

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? What immediately comes to mind is the whole “Sinterklaas” problem where every year the discourse starts again whether or not the “Zwarte Pieten” are racist. Honestly not gonna comment on that because it’s not my place to feel offended or otherwise about this issue. Another thing that’s a bit more lighthearted is the “jaarmarkt” in our hometown, it’s like a big market that always finds place on the first sunday of the year. There’s a “stoet” (procession) with the walking orchestra, horses, horses and carriages, dogs and a whole load of tractors all going to get blessed at the church where the pastor throws holy water on everyone passing by. I have a love hate relationship with this tradition because it’s always freezing, and the tractors take forever to end. Oh and the main street of our town is completely closed of and there’s a big market with stalls in the street and everyone gets drunk of of the “jenevers” from the Scouts stalls lol.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Not really, the only thing I used to watch was “Helden van Hier: Brandweer” (Heroes from here: fire brigade), it was just following the fire brigade around to fires and what not.

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? ah je moe kakken moe je kakken he 😉

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? Hate: Belgians are small-minded people not interested in anything going on outside of their home. Just not true at all. Sure there are people like that but every country has those. Agree: Belgians are hard to get to know. I hear this one a lot and I can see why people say that.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Copied from an earlier answer: I am interested in history in general, it was one of my favourite classes in high school. I do like learning about Belgian history, mainly because Belgian history is, in one term, a messy bitch

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Yes, I speak with a “Kempisch” accent, but in general I’m still pretty understandable.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? I really don’t care about our flag, the Flemish Lion is being overly politicized to exclude the Walons lately and our national anthem is meh, no one can sing it and it’s more of a joke to people my age I think.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Soccer (or football idk) and veldrijden (literally field riding, but cyclo-cross as the translation) GO Wout van Aert! (idc abt sports but he’s local to me so)

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? I’m not sure if this means you want to get rid of it or if you want to memorialize it? Getting rid of “Manneken Pis” because he’s stupid and memorializing an entire classic “frietkot”

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? Proud: Our cultural diversity and lately our banding together during the crisis Ashamed: All the racists (looking at you Vlaams Belang)

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? BEER, ALL THE BEER

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Honestly our own nation is most joked about for good reasons. Flemish joke about the Walons and vice versa, and everyone jokes about the joke that is our government.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? I’m happy where I’m at now, so no.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I have never seen any prominent representation of Belgian in a Hollywood movie.

27. favourite national celebrity? Probably Tom Waes

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? We dont have much haha, we have rivers, most notably “De Shelde” which runs though Antwerp not too far from my apparment.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? Flemish and Walons have always had beef, so yeah.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? I had a phase where I was into genealogy and it’s safe to say I’m one of the most Belgian Belgians out there lol, especially on mothers side her family literally has been living in the same place since the 1600′s and my grandparents had never seen the ocean until my parents took them.

[burkesguidetodnd]

Rogue

Rogues rely on skill, stealth, and their foes’ vulnerabilities to get the upper hand in any situation. They have a knack for finding the solution to just about any problem, demonstrating a resourcefulness and versatility that is the cornerstone of any successful adventuring party.

Rogues devote as much effort to mastering the use of a variety of skills as they do to perfecting their combat abilities, giving them a broad expertise that few other characters can match. Many rogues focus on stealth and deception, while others refine the skills that help them in a dungeon environment, such as climbing, finding and disarming traps, and opening locks. When it comes to combat, rogues prioritize cunning over brute strength. A rogue would rather make one precise strike, placing it exactly where the attack will hurt the target most, than wear an opponent down with a barrage of attacks. Rogues have an almost supernatural knack for avoiding danger, and a few learn magical tricks to supplement their other abilities.

Every town and city has its share of rogues. Most of them live up to the worst stereotypes of the class, making a living as burglars, assassins, cutpurses, and con artists. Often, these scoundrels are organized into thieves’ guilds or crime families. Plenty of rogues operate independently, but even they sometimes recruit apprentices to help them in their scams and heists. A few rogues make an honest living as locksmiths, investigators, or exterminators, which can be a dangerous job in a world where dire rats—and wererats—haunt the sewers. As adventurers, rogues fall on both sides of the law. Some are hardened criminals who decide to seek their fortune in treasure hoards, while others take up a life of adventure to escape from the law. Some have learned and perfected their skills with the explicit purpose of infiltrating ancient ruins and hidden crypts in search of treasure.

As you create your rogue character, consider the character’s relationship to the law. Do you have a criminal past—or present? Are you on the run from the law or from an angry thieves’ guild master? Or did you leave your guild in search of bigger risks and bigger rewards? Is it greed that drives you in your adventures, or some other desire or ideal? What was the trigger that led you away from your previous life? Did a great con or heist gone terribly wrong cause you to re-evaluate your career? Maybe you were lucky and a successful robbery gave you the coin you needed to escape the squalor of your life. Did wanderlust finally call you away from your home? Perhaps you suddenly found yourself cut off from your family or your mentor, and you had to find a new means of support. Or maybe you made a new friend—another member of your adventuring party—who showed you new possibilities for earning a living and employing your particular talents.

HIT POINTS: 1d8 Per Rogue Level

HIT POINTS AT 1st LEVEL: 1d8 + CON

PROFICIENCIES

ARMOUR: Light armour.

WEAPONS: Simple weapons, Hand crossbows, Longswords, Rapiers, Shortswords

TOOLS: Thieve’s tools

SAVING THROWS: Dexterity, Intelligence

SKILLS: Acrobatics, Athletics, Deception, Insight, Intimidation, Investigation, Perception, Performance, Persuasion, Sleight of Hand, and Stealth (Choose 4)

STARTING EQUIPMENT

1. A rapier OR A shortsword

2. A shortbow and quiver of 20 arrows OR A shortsword

3. A burglar’s pack OR A dungeoneer’s pack OR An explorer’s pack

4. Leather armour AND Two daggers AND Thieve’s tools

EXPERTISE

At 1st level, choose two of your skill proficiencies, or one of your skill proficiencies and your proficiency with thieves’ tools. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies. At 6th level, you can choose two more of your proficiencies (in skills or with thieves’ tools) to gain this benefit.

SNEAK ATTACK

Beginning at 1st level, you know how to strike subtly and exploit a foe’s distraction. Once per turn, you can deal an extra 1d6 damage to one creature you hit with an attack if you have advantage on the attack roll. The attack must use a finesse or a ranged weapon. You don’t need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is within 5 feet of it, that enemy isn’t incapacitated, and you don’t have disadvantage on the attack roll. The amount of the extra damage increases as you gain levels in this class, as shown in the Sneak Attack column of the Rogue table.

THIEVES’ CANT

During your rogue training you learned thieves’ cant, a secret mix of dialect, jargon, and code that allows you to hide messages in seemingly normal conversation. Only another creature that knows thieves’ cant understands such messages. It takes four times longer to convey such a message than it does to speak the same idea plainly. In addition, you understand a set of secret signs and symbols used to convey short, simple messages, such as whether an area is dangerous or the territory of a thieves’ guild, whether loot is nearby, or whether the people in an area are easy marks or will provide a safe house for thieves on the run.

CUNNING ACTION

Starting at 2nd level, your quick thinking and agility allow you to move and act quickly. You can take a bonus action on each of your turns in combat. This action can be used only to take the Dash, Disengage, or Hide action.

ROGUISH ARCHETYPE

At 3rd level, you choose an archetype that you emulate in the exercise of your rogue abilities: Thief, detailed at the end of the class description, or one from another source. Your archetype choice grants you features at 3rd level and then again at 9th, 13th, and 17th level.

ABILITY SCORE IMPROVEMENT

When you reach 4th level, and again at 8th, 10th, 12th, 16th, and 19th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1. As normal, you can’t increase an ability score above 20 using this feature.

UNCANNY DODGE

Starting at 5th level, when an attacker that you can see hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to halve the attack’s damage against you.

EXPERTISE

At 6th level, choose two more of your skill proficiencies, or one more of your skill proficiencies and your proficiency with thieves’ tools. Your proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses either of the chosen proficiencies.

EVASION

Beginning at 7th level, you can nimbly dodge out of the way of certain area effects, such as an ancient red dragon’s fiery breath or an ice storm spell. When you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw to take only half damage, you instead take no damage if you succeed on the saving throw, and only half damage if you fail.

RELIABLE TALENT

By 11th level, you have refined your chosen skills until they approach perfection. Whenever you make an ability check that lets you add your proficiency bonus, you can treat a d20 roll of 9 or lower as a 10.

BLINDSENSE

Starting at 14th level, if you are able to hear, you are aware of the location of any hidden or invisible creature within 10 feet of you.

SLIPPERY MIND

By 15th level, you have acquired greater mental strength. You gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws.

ELUSIVE

Beginning at 18th level, you are so evasive that attackers rarely gain the upper hand against you. No attack roll has advantage against you while you aren’t incapacitated.

STROKE OF LUCK

At 20th level, you have an uncanny knack for succeeding when you need to. If your attack misses a target within range, you can turn the miss into a hit. Alternatively, if you fail an ability check, you can treat the d20 roll as a 20. Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

ROGUISH ARCHETYPES

Rogues have many features in common, including their emphasis on perfecting their skills, their precise and deadly approach to combat, and their increasingly quick reflexes. But different rogues steer those talents in varying directions, embodied by the rogue archetypes. Your choice of archetype is a reflection of your focus—not necessarily an indication of your chosen profession, but a description of your preferred techniques.

SOULKNIFE

A Soulknife possesses powerful psionic potential. They channel this reservoir of inner magic into tangible blades of psychic energy, striking at their victims’ minds. They find easy employment as members of thieves’ guilds, being particularly sought after as assassins, since their signature psychic blades leave behind no visible wounds. As a Soulknife, your psionic abilities might have haunted you since you were a child, only revealing their potential when your psychic knives first appeared. Or you might have sought out a reclusive order of psionic assassins and spent years learning how to manifest your deadly blades.

3rd LEVEL – PSYCHIC BLADE

As a bonus action, you can create a magical blade of shimmering psychic power from one or both of your hands. While one of your hands is manifesting a blade, you can’t hold anything in that hand. You can dismiss one or both blades at any time (no action required), and they disappear if you’re incapacitated. The blade is a simple melee weapon with the finesse, light, and thrown properties. It has a normal range of 30 feet and a long range of 60 feet, and it deals 1d6 psychic damage on a hit. If you throw the blade as part of an attack, it vanishes immediately after it hits or misses its target. The blade otherwise disappears the instant it leaves your hand.

3rd LEVEL – PSIONIC ENHANCEMENT

You can focus your psionic power to give yourself an extraordinary ability. When you finish a long rest, you gain one of the following benefits of your choice, which lasts until you finish a long rest:

Telepathy

You can communicate telepathically with any creature you can see within 30 feet of you. If a creature can speak at least one language, it can respond to you telepathically.

Toughness

Your hit point maximum and your current hit points increase by an amount equal to your Intelligence modifier plus your rogue level.

Walking Speed

Increase your walking speed by 5 feet.

9th LEVEL – TERRIFYING BLADE

Your psychic blades can now stoke terror within a target: When you damage a creature with your Psychic Blade, you can force the target to make a Wisdom saving throw (DC equal to 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Intelligence modifier). On a failed save, the creature is frightened of you until the start of your next turn. On a successful save, the creature isn’t frightened and is immune to your Terrifying Blade for 24 hours.

13th LEVEL – PSYCHIC VEIL

You can weave a veil of psionic static to mask your physical presence. As an action, you can magically become invisible, along with anything you are wearing or carrying, for 10 minutes. This invisibility ends if you make an attack or if you force a creature to make a saving throw. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of once), and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

17th LEVEL – REND MIND

You can sweep your Psychic Blade directly through a creature’s mind. As an action while you have at least one Psychic Blade manifested, you can force a creature you can see within 30 feet of you to make an Intelligence saving throw (DC equal to 10 + your proficiency bonus + your Intelligence modifier). If you are hidden from the target, it has disadvantage on the save. On a failed save, the target takes 12d6 psychic damage, and it is stunned until the start of your next turn. On a successful save, the target takes half as much damage and isn’t stunned. One of your Psychic Blades vanishes after using this feature. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum of once), and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

THE REVIVED

You’ve had a soul-shaking realization: you’ve been dead before, yet somehow you are alive again. This life isn’t your first; it might not even be your second. Your past life, or lives, are unclear to you, but you know that you passed through the gates of death. And the powers of death, or some other influence, wasn’t done with you. You might have convinced a deity to let you return to the Material Plane, perhaps you signed a deal with a fiend, or maybe you used an artefact that revived you. Whatever force brought you back, you now know the truth about yourself: that you are one of death’s representatives among the living.

3rd LEVEL – TOKENS OF PAST LIVES

You remember talents you had in your previous life. When you finish a long rest, you gain one skill or tool proficiency of your choice. You can replace this proficiency with another when you finish a long rest.

3rd LEVEL – REVIVED NATURE

Your newfound connection to death gives you the following benefits:

You have advantage on saving throws against disease and being poisoned, and you have resistance to poison damage.

You don’t need to eat, drink, or breathe.

You don’t need to sleep. When you take a long rest, you must spend at least four hours in an inactive, motionless state, rather than sleeping. In this state, you remain semi-conscious, and you can hear as normal.

3rd LEVEL – BOLTS FROM THE GRAVE

You have learned to unleash bolts of necrotic energy from within your revived body. Immediately after you use your Cunning Action, you can make a ranged spell attack against a creature within 30 feet of you, provided you haven’t used your Sneak Attack this turn. You are proficient with it, and you add your Dexterity modifier to its attack and damage rolls. A creature hit by this attack takes necrotic damage equal to your Sneak Attack. This uses your Sneak Attack for the turn.

9th LEVEL – CONNECT WITH THE DEAD

You can create a link with a spirit through their corpse. When you do so, you cast the speak with dead spell, without using a spell slot or material components. Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for this spell. Speaking with the dead in this way temporarily gives you a capability from a past life—you’re unsure whether it’s from your past or the spirit’s. When the spell ends, you gain one random benefit from the Revived Capabilities table. The benefit lasts until you finish a short or long rest.

13th LEVEL – AUDIENCE WITH DEATH

When at death’s door, you can converse with the powers of death. You have advantage on death saving throws, and whenever you make a death saving throw, your spirit can ask an entity of death a question that can be answered with “yes,” “no,” or “unknown.” The entity answers truthfully, using the knowledge of all those who have died. In addition, whenever you have 0 hit points and are healed or stabilized, you can change any of your personal characteristics: personality trait, ideal, bond, or flaw.

17th LEVEL – ETHEREAL JAUNT

Like a ghost, you have the ability to slip in and out of the Ethereal Plane. You can now use your Cunning Action to teleport to an unoccupied space within 30 feet of you. You don’t need to see that space to teleport to it, but your teleportation fails, wasting your bonus action, if you attempt to teleport through magical force that is Medium or larger, such as a wall of force. If you appear in a space occupied by another creature or filled by an object, you are immediately shunted to the nearest unoccupied space that you can occupy and take force damage equal to twice the number of feet you are shunted.

THIEF

You hone your skills in the larcenous arts. Burglars, bandits, cutpurses, and other criminals typically follow this archetype, but so do rogues who prefer to think of themselves as professional treasure seekers, explorers, delvers, and investigators. In addition to improving your agility and stealth, you learn skills useful for delving into ancient ruins, reading unfamiliar languages, and using magic items you normally couldn’t employ.

3rd LEVEL – FAST HANDS

You can use the bonus action granted by your Cunning Action to make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check, use your thieves’ tools to disarm a trap or open a lock, or take the Use an Object action.

3rd LEVEL – SECOND-STORY WORK

When you choose this archetype, you gain the ability to climb faster than normal; climbing no longer costs you extra movement. In addition, when you make a running jump, the distance you cover increases by a number of feet equal to your Dexterity modifier.

9th LEVEL – SUPREME SNEAK

You have advantage on a Dexterity (Stealth) check if you move no more than half your speed on the same turn.

13th LEVEL – USE MAGIC DEVICE

You have learned enough about the workings of magic that you can improvise the use of items even when they are not intended for you. You ignore all class, race, and level requirements on the use of magic items.

17th LEVEL – THIEF’S REFLEXES

You have become adept at laying ambushes and quickly escaping danger. You can take two turns during the first round of any combat. You take your first turn at your normal initiative and your second turn at your initiative minus 10. You can’t use this feature when you are surprised.

[okimargarvez]

HIGH TREASON

Original title: Alto tradimento.

Prompt: Luke’s jealouse, rivals in love, naivety, comic.

Warning: none.

Genre: humor, comedy, family, romantic, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Matt Simmons, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Tara Lewis, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Penelope’ suitors.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 24 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🔦🎈.

Song mentioned: Mia nonna, Tiziano Ferro.

MY OTHER GARVEZ STORIES

Have any of you ever seen The mentalist? Do you remember that scene with all those red-haired girls who looked like clones of Van Pelt, with whom Rigsby had to go out? This gave me the idea, a chat with @theshamelessmanatee led me to write this story.

HIGH TREASON

 -Luke, are you there? Did you hear at least one word of what I told you?- Simmons sighs, exasperated, for the millionth time. -There is something that attracts your attention more, I know.- the Asian man barely holds back a laugh, while the Latin pursue in ignoring completely the words of his friend, to stare the object of his desires. -Alvez!- Matt raises the volume of his voice and finally manages to make himself heard by his colleague.

-Uh? What?- Luke blinks a couple of times but doesn’t lose the sly air and the dazed expression. -Sorry, I was thinking...- Matt doesn’t let him finish.

-Lisa, I guess.- Matt says sarcastically. Luke remains a puzzled moment, reflecting on his words, taking them seriously. Simmons shakes his head. There is no hope. I was like that when I fell in love with Kristy?

-No, you know that between me and her... it didn’t work.- the friend takes a sip of his beer, sighs again and holds back what he thinks. I wonder why it didn’t work. When you told me that you couldn’t stop thinking about her, I never believed it was that poor woman.

-I was joking.- in that moment of pause, Alvez glances quickly towards the table not far from them, where a group of women seems to particularly enjoy themselves. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed to Matt, who can’t hold back a giggle. -Friend, when do you decide to ask her a date?- Luke almost chockes on his drink.

-Whose... whose are you talking about?- sometimes (i.e. always) his ingenuity and part of shyness driving Matt crazy and he would like to shout the truth, since Luke doesn’t have the courage to do so. It's really unnerving.

-Of the best blond technician with glasses that the FBI has ever had.- he nods in the direction of their colleagues who don’t stop giggling conspiratorially. From time to time JJ looks explicitly in the direction of the men and exchanges glances with Matt, with the same exhausted expression. For everyone it’s clear that there is something between those two, except for those directly involved. A classic so banal that it doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned.

-Lower your voice!- Luke's cheeks turn red. From the corner of his eye he checks that the other two haven’t noticed anything and he sighs with relief. -And anyway... I don’t understand what you're talking about.- not even he believes that. Simmons decides that he can’t stand it anymore and makes a signals to follow him. They head to the leisure area. They take possession of the only empty football table.

-Listen, brother, we shared a lot of things. The other week you saved my life. At least you could tell me. It's not that difficult.- he tries to make a reassuring smile. -I will not tell Garcia.- he notices the jerk of the man when he mentions that name.

-Well, there's not much to say. It's... Garcia. There's nothing I can do for...- he can’t even say it. He shakes his head, swallows and tries to concentrate on the shot. Not even a ball goes to the right place. Unlucky at cards, unlucky in love.

-Luke, for the hell, how can you not see it? You like Penelope as much as she likes you. This story is going too far. How long have you known her? Two years now? And how long have you fallen in love with her?- Matt completes his shot and gets a great score. Luke emits a sound that seems almost a moan of pain. 

Some guys has all the luck. It's not right.

-I don’t like Garcia.- the protest is too weak, but Matt understands that he really believes so. But Luke evaded the second question. -She treated me... coldly from the beginning. I know she can’t hate anyone, but she certainly doesn’t like me. No, it's not possible.- he shakes his head and lowers on the table to take aim.

-Really, Alvez, you're so good at finding unknown subjects, but you don’t understand anything about women.- the other doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even nod because there's no need. -Do you think that she treats you in such way because she doesn’t like you? It's the exact opposite! She torments you because she is attracted to you and at the same time doesn’t want to be. Besides, she's naive almost more than you, so she's convinced you could never care about her.- Luke's expression makes it clear that he had never really thought about it.

-She…- the way he pronounces those three letters is so enlightening. -She could think...? No, I don’t believe it. She is so... well, which man couldn’t...- he stops. -Penelope is... so... it's too much for anyone. I'll never live up to her.- No, sadness. Matt can’t bear it. The last thing he need is that Luke starts crying.

-Luke, listen to me well because I will not repeat it. Penelope is interested in you. She likes you. I'm certainly, one hundred percent. And now take this for a fact. And find the courage to ask her out, so this situation will end. At first, I found it amusing, but now... it's getting ridiculous.- the Latin tries another shot, sending only one ball into the hole. He shakes his head and decides to give up.

-No... I can’t. I could never. One thing is... replying to her tone or flirting a little... but seriously asking her for a date...- he has to consider it a miracle, the fact that Luke doesn’t add that he’s going to throwing up. -I'm not able to do it. That's why I don’t get distressed and I didn’t want to talk about it. I’m aware of my limitations.- he raises his shoulders in a resigned way. Then he smiles halfway between sadness and a happy melancholy. -I just look at her from a distance. To hear her voice while she is talking about anything. If I spoke to her and went wrong... even if you were right... I would lose even that little bit. I’m a coward, but I prefer not to risk and keep what I have already.- Matt looks up at the sky but accepts defeat. At the moment.

 **

Magnet heart, for those who don’t trust...

 He would have been able to do absolutely nothing, bask in that situation for another ten years because that way he was sure he couldn’t suffer and especially that Penelope could never have been hurt either.

But Luke was about to find out that Garcia wasn’t the only one who hated changes.

And in his case, it’s the entry of a man to make him open his eyes. He heads right to their table, where the BAU girls are sitting.

And Luke immediately notices the smile that is painted on the lips of Penelope when she sees him. The redness on her cheeks. She likes that type and the feeling is logically reciprocal. Man has a lascivious expression and he is certainly thinking vulgar things. He is stripping her with his eyes and for a moment Alvez is tempted to get up and put an end to the spectacle. Then he comes back to himself and understands that he has no good reason to get in the way. Unless he tells her... but he doesn’t want to, no, it's excluded.

Matt, next to him, grins. Maybe things will finally be unlocked. What Luke has clearly ignored, is how the guy looks like him. They have the same color of hair, the slightly curly type and the more Hispanic facial features, as well as the skin tone. But he is muscular and very tall, like him.

-Hola, chica . Tu eres hermosa, esta noche.- okay, Luke could handle anything, but that... He stands up almost making his chair fall.

-Oh, Carlos, you're too kind. Girls, this is Carlos, I met him outside the supermarket.- Carlos, but is there a more trivial name? It's really shabby and then you see it's gasbag, he definitely uses something illegal to be like this. And the supermarket! What a romance! Will he ask her to marry him in front of the frozen peas boxes? -And Carlos, they are JJ and Tara. Emily had to go out for a moment, but I think she'll be back soon.- Penelope smiles and the guy nods. He grabs the hand that Tara is holding out to him and kisses it gallantly.

-Encantado, señoritas.- the psychologist seems struck and she is still giggling when Carlos repeats the same gesture with the other blonde. Really! Can he be more stereotypical than that?

Luke ponders whether or not to go to the bathroom, run away, then hears what he's saying in Penelope's ear, always in Spanish, an idiom that Garcia can’t comprehend, as she told him some time ago. -Tan pronto como nos vayamos te cogeré, te abriré en dos. Quiero ver esas hermosas tetas grandes rebotar con cada empuje. Te haré gritar tan fuerte que mañana ya no tendrás voz para hablar con tus colegas.- Alvez opens his eyes wide-eyed, convinced he had heard wrong. But he is the only one to react in that way because Emily, the only language expert, has received a call and the others can not in any way understand. The guy was expressed in a very specific Spanish dialect. Puerto Rican. And because of the sweet and sexy tone together, she believes they are pretty things.

Carlos turns to him and almost seems to read his mind. Then Luke realizes that Garcia is a few inches from him. For a second, he sees her naked, fully, while the guy slams her on a mattress covered with unicorns. -Hey, guys, I wanted to introduce you to my friend Carlos. They are Matt, Luke and Spencer. Rossi couldn’t come, but you'll meet him another day.- Garcia continues to smile. For the first time he can’t bear that cut on her face.

He holds in turn everyone's hand, except for Reid who, Penelope is able to explain, hates this kind of physical contact. There's something strange with Simmons, but Luke can’t figure out what. While when the guy tightens his, adds a few more phrases than the classic Nice to meet you. - Puedes entender lo que digo, ¿no amigo?- he doesn’t nod, but the other doesn’t need it to make sure he's hit the mark. -Así que esta noche, cuando seas acostada en tu cama, masturbándote pensando en tu colega, también piensa que en ese moment ella estará chupando mi bastón de buen taste, sì, todo, adentro la garganta.- Carlos smiles malignly, but about one thing he was wrong. He had not foreseen such a reaction on the part of the man in love.

Luke punches him by breaking his nose, which immediately starts dripping blood. -No creo que puedas disfrutar por un tiempo. Mantente alejado de Penélope. No porque yo lo quiero, sino porque ella se merece algo mejor. Desaparece.- he tells him of course in Spanish, Puerto Rican. Carlos runs away, holding his nose with his hand; he took the seriousness and the implicit threat in the words of the rival perfectly. Garcia doesn’t have time to stop her former suitor. She's too shocked to react, so JJ does it in her place.

-Luke! Are you crazy? What did he say?- the man thinks a moment about what to answer. Matt is proud of him, because he understands that his friend must have good reasons for doing so. Spencer is just confused because he didn’t understand anything.

-Nothing good. Now I have to go, Roxy needs me.- but one of the blondes follows him and grabs him by the arm.

-Seriously, Luke. What did he say?- he sighs and assesses that they are far enough from the table.

-He wanted to take advantage of Garcia. I can’t repeat his exact words, but he was very explicit about what he had in mind.- she insists, so he tells her one thing in the ear.

JJ punches him on the arm. -Why did not you hit him louder?!-

 **

You have consumed the last remnants of calm, put a strain on my good will, for love, I swear, to the other yesterday was so much, burned by now your morbid possessiveness...

 If he hoped things would come back as before, well, Luke had fallen badly.

A whole month spends quiet, partly because they are often busy with cases. But when they come back and find themselves in the usual place, there's a surprise waiting for them. Penelope isn’t alone. She is waiting for them, already sitting at the table, in the company of a man. He is on his back, so the only thing that is noticeable is the color of his hair, dark and his physical prowess. She is laughing at one of his joke, in her classic flirting style and he touches her shoulder from time to time.

Matt gives a pat on Luke’ back. -Sorry, brother.- but the tone is in disagreement with what he says, and even his expression, he seems to hardly hold back a laugh.

-It’s not possible! Another!?- the Latin exclaims, shaking his head. Penelope notices her colleagues and greets them with her hand. The others go on, while the two of them are a few steps behind. -Have you seen? If you were right, if she liked me, why she should go out with all those men?- he clenches his fists until the knuckles whiten.

-Hello? Make you jealous, for example? Force you to move your ass? And then you going out with another woman, Lisa- yes, Matt needs to remember him -and you still be in love with Garcia.- Luke once again begs him to speak softly. -Look that even the waitresses have noticed your crush.- but he stubbornly wants to believe the opposite. They reach the others. For a moment, both remain perplexed. That man looks very much like Carlos, not for the lack of the Spanish appearance. And so, he looks awfully like even Alvez. -I’m a fool or...- Simmons shakes his head.

-No, man, I see it too. He looks just like you. It's disturbing.- he forces himself to be silent because they have practically arrived. -Hey, Garcia, how are you?- he gets away from the mess with a nice expression. Luke can’t pretend as well and just raises his eyebrows.

-Hello! How are you? How are Kristy and Lisa?- the blonde is definitely revved up. On the table there are two glasses, completely empty. The two men look at each other, the Latin doesn’t know what to do. Better to let her believe that they still dating, hope to make her jealous as she is doing with him? Or tell the truth, so Penelope could understand that the way is clear, that she doesn’t need these little games, that...

-Everything it’s good and even the boys. They received that LEGO package and they were very happy. Thank you.- the Asian smiles, getting an even bigger smile in return.

Now it's up to Luke. Penelope turns directly to look at him. -Lisa... I think she's fine. I don’t know, I haven’t saw her for a while.- a shadow of lucidity seems to pass into the woman's eyes.

Then she shakes it off. -Anyway, this is Adrian.- he turns to the man who takes his hand. Luke bites his tongue. -Adrian, they are Matt and Luke, two other colleagues of mine.- it annoys him to be presented only as a colleague, but after all he had done the same thing on the contrary, when he introduced Penelope to Lisa. -I'll let you socialize, boys. This lady here must go for a moment to redo the scaffolding.- Matt certainly doesn’t miss the strange gazes that Emily and JJ exchange before following their friend. Tara isn’t there today, so only men remain.

-So...- Simmons begins to say. -How long have you seeing Penelope?- in the meantime a waitress arrives and takes their orders. Luke decides to drown his sorrows in the beer, but this also makes him think of her, when she believed that he wasn’t one to chat with friends before drinks.

-Three weeks.- Adrian replies smiling with his whole face. Here is explained why Penelope was so happy in this last period. -We met on one of those sites, you know, those of online dating... blind dating…- Something in blind dating with a stranger? Garcia doesn’t look like that kind of woman, but what does he know about her?

-Blind dating? How does it work?- Matt pretends to be interested. Or maybe he really is.

-Well, you sign up and fill out a series of questionnaires with what you would like to find in a partner. Both the physical appearance and the character. Then the computer processes the data and looks for the most compatible, send notifications... so it's up to you whether to send an invitation or accept it. The first date, however, is held in a room along with many others in the same situation... as a speed date.- Luke is meditating whether to go home with any excuse, obviously concerning Roxy.

-Ah, I understand. Well, I guess Rossi has already made you the Discourse.- the older laughs.

-Yes, I also received a call from a certain Derek Morgan... her best friend, if I'm not mistaken. You don’t have to worry, I don’t want to hurt Penelope. She is so... well, you know, you know her better than me. It's a gift from heaven. It's so generous, sweet... it seems absurd to me that she is still single. Maybe it's because of the work you all do, she told me she doesn’t go out often...- he's doing it on purpose, reminding him how stupid he was. As if he needed an asshole to find out that Garcia is a precious jewel. Perhaps he should stop considering her as something to admire in a shrine and find the courage to wear it. What a bad metaphor! -So be quiet, I would never hurt her.- Yes, they all say so. I bet that bastard Battle said it too, before he shot her... -And anyway, before we get to the point, in any case, we'll have to be husband and wife.- the amber liquid goes completely straight through Luke' throat. Husband and wife?

-Forgive me, Adrian- Rossi starts talking keeping his eyes closed, his tone still as he strives to hold back -what do you mean by "get to the point"?- there is still a faint hope that it was a bad joke. The older man glares at Spencer, preventing him from responding to someone else's place, as he often does.

Not a shred of blush on the face of Penelope's suitor. In the eyes of the Italian American Adrian is nothing but a stain on the lenses of the glasses he wears exclusively for writing. His kitten is already in love with Luke, and this latter is a good boy.

-Well, Mr. Rossi, you are a man of faith, I think you can understand me. I want to keep myself pure and chaste until the big day.- this time he doesn’t make it his own, Matt spits out the entire contents of his beer straight on Adrian's face.

-Sorry...- he is still partially laughing as he hands him a paper napkin and tries to fix the disaster at the same time. -But you're not serious, right?- the answer is blocked by two factors: Spencer that comes out with the wrong phrase and the return to the table of girls.

-I deduce from what you say you must still be a virgin.- Penelope looks confused at the young doctor.

-Who should still be a virgin?-

 **

The first glance in the morning is up to you, then all the next glances always to you

 -In the end, brother, it's better this way. Look, that it will not going to last. I saw her only once, ok, but I thought she was a smart girl. And if that's what you told me... nah, believe me, she will get rid of him soon. I have to go now. I have a therapy session.- Luke nods, not feeling the steps behind him.

-Good, say hello to Lisa.- he picks up the phone in his pocket and sighs.

-Hey, newbie, is everything ok?- he makes a leap so high to touch the ceiling. He turns to her, beautiful as always. He nods again, doesn’t trust open his mouth. -Are you sure? I see you a little strange. Is it all right with Lisa?- he doesn’t have time to bite his tongue.

-Yes, no... I mean... Lisa and I are no longer together... well, we've never been, actually. I only came out with her twice... the one you interrupted us and when we came back from the case... you understand.- he feels his cheeks burning. He can’t really avoid chickened out, at least once a day.

Immediately, a pained look is painted on the blonde's face. -Oh, hell, I'm sorry.- but all Luke's neurons can concentrate is on her gesture. She puts a hand on his shoulder. The last thing he need is that he closes his eyes to enjoy it better.

-Yeah.- it’s all he can say, barely moving his lips and still less muscle, fearing that she can stop the contact.

-It's a pity, she seemed really nice and pleasant.- another up and down with his head. -And love is so beautiful... having someone with whom to spend time, simply being together without doing anything special...- too many words, even for someone like her. And she looks exaggeratedly dreamy, eyes too turned to the sky... Don’t tell me that in the end she marries him, that guy... so he will finally seize the forbidden fruit... no, Luke, what thoughts of shit. You must stop with these mental journeys. And to use this language, even if in your mind. And while you're at it, talk a little less on your own. -Hey, Alvez, are you there?- he wakes up just because he feels the touch of Garcia's warm hand on his cheek. She just brushes him, but a thousand lights shine in his brain.

-Uh, yes, yes. You're right.- she looks at him not very convinced. -So... between you and...- he has to put down all the frustration he feels. -... and...- but he will manage to pronounce that name. -Adrian.- he is also forced to make another pause for the effort of the accomplished enterprise. -Is everything going great?- Say no, I adjure you, say no. He even crosses the fingers of the hand that doesn’t hold the cup of coffee that he had been prepared before calling Phil, now cold.

-Adrian?- a moment of disorientation that Luke enjoys wickedly. -Aaah, no, it didn’t work. He was nice and cool but... he had something strange. See, he went to the priest, to confession, because we have gone beyond a little further the first base...- Why the hell did you have to tell me this? Why? Are you sadist? And I’m masochist? Well, maybe a little I’m, since I liked to be treated badly by her. And I continue to speak alone in my head. That's enough! -Sorry, I didn’t want to look disrespectful, but it seems really exaggerated... - she interprets his upheaval as having been bad because he was Catholic too. -it's strange. A bit like Carlos. Lately I meet only men like that!- And then stop looking around and staring right in front of you. -I hope that with Brett will be better.- while Penelope gives him a beautiful smile Luke feels desperation to mount again in him. Brett? And now who the hell is this? Another man. I don’t believe it. It is not possible. -You know, you two should get along, he also thinks that one can live with the minimum necessary.- that joyous tone is definitely too much. And so, Luke tightens too much the plastic cup that breaks, pouring out the liquid, fortunately already cold, but no less sticky, on their clothes.

-Shit, Garcia, I'm sorry.- he stretches out his hands, but doesn’t really know what to do to make up for it.

-It's everything ok, don’t worry, I always have a change of clothes with me.- strangely, the woman doesn’t get angry and especially doesn’t take advantage of the excuse to torment or make fun of him. Things are really changing, too much for Alvez. He has to decide to make a move or lose her. Before he can even think about it, his phone rings. It's Matt.

-Hey, what's up?-at the same time he tries not to stare the brown liquid that went to put right in the neckline of the blonde, and continue its journey blissfully. Can someone be jealous of a drop? Apparently, yes.

-Alvez, move your ass, there's something you have to see. We're in the meeting room.- We are? He put down the phone abruptly.

-I have to go. If you send me the laundry bill...- Penelope laughs and tells him not to worry. Luke comes in not knowing what to expect. Definitely, not this . On the screen the face of three men, but they are neither victims nor serial killers. But the lucky ones with whom Garcia has dating. And there's a quarter, in a red box. He. Reid is listing the features they have in common and JJ illustrates them accurately using the laser pointer. Both the boss, Tara and also Rossi, seem very concentrated. -What...- Simmons intercepts him right away.

-Finally. You were missing the best.- there's no more time to blush. For what? Everybody knows.

-What the hell is this?- he looks at them one by one, praying that Penelope's change of clothes will last forever. If she would see this...

-Let's go, Luke, don’t make that face. We are simply analyzing how Penelope chooses her partner. We were bored, there are no cases and the opportunity were too greedy.- he could also guess it for Rossi, Matt not even talk about it. And even JJ. But Emily? So serious and...? He takes advantage of it to study the enemy. Yes, that Brett resembles him a lot, almost disquietingly. But he has blue eyes, almost blue. And his hair is a little lighter. In short, dry admit it, this is even more beautiful than him. Shit, if this guy doesn’t show some madness like the other two, this time I know I'm screwed.

His colleagues seem to notice his concern.

-Don't worry, you'll see that it will last less than a week.- this time it was the psychologist talking.

-Why?- now he seems a child who can’t understand why he can’t play the PlayStation before he finished all the tasks. He doesn’t know, but this makes him extremely sexy. If Garcia came in right now...

-Because she's in love with you, Luke. Walls know it too. Roxy knows that, even Lisa will be aware of it.- Simmons answers. Everyone looks at him strangely when he says that feminine name, but he makes a sign that they will talk later.

-That's right, boy. Even Derek, though he was here less than an hour, understood it.- Morgan, her best friend. A twinge of jealousy. But with what criterion?

-Above all, though, that Spencer noticed it. This, yes, that the litmus test, he it’s a genius, but doesn’t understand anything in terms of relations.- the protest to the person concerned is immediate.

-Hey!- JJ gives him a friendly pat on the cheek to apologize, but her eyes remain mischievous.

-He's right, Reid. Don’t you remember that time when Kevin waited for Rossi out of his office to talk "from man to man, about Penelope"? You made a memorable face, just like now!- Emily is also put on, remembering with sweetness that period, when she was recently in the BAU and was beginning to settle; and now she's the united chief of it.

-So?- Luke tries to bring the current affair back, trying not to ask who Kevin is. Another to add to the list, enough, they are too many. -What should I do?-

 **

Heart fighting, for a proud man, look a little regret, for those who suffered

 He does it tonight. Tonight he asks if he can take her to her house, because there's something he would like to talk about. An important thing. Stop. Then, in front of her apartment, he takes her hand and tells her. No matter what words, if poetic or bumpy phrases come out, this time he tells her everything. And then... then...

Then the dream shatters again. He gets in the club, this time it's not O'Keef, they decided to change. The girls wanted to dance. And in fact, they are doing it, too bad that there is a guy who wanders a little too much around the shapely blonde. To be precise, he occasionally places one hand on the woman's side.

-No. Enough. I go there and throw him.- now that everyone (except for her) knows it, he doesn’t have to hold himself. Luke has lost every brake. He grinds his teeth and meets Tara's gaze, which signals that it’s not their fault. After all, they're just dancing. He can still make his move if he isn’t a coward.

- Boy, I don’t think it's the best choice.- fatherly tone with a lot of hand on the shoulder. Rossi looks at the younger, hoping to instill a bit of common sense. It’s not smashing the nose of a stranger who will conquer his kitten.

-He's right, listen to him. Instead of acting like a teenager, if you're a man, go dancing too.- Simmons spurs him, giving him a pat on the back. Luke nods, feeling overwhelmed by a sudden dose of adrenaline. He observes the woman's body moving and decides that after this evening he will be the only one to enjoy that show. Not in the sense that he wants to lock her up in a bunker so that other male beings can’t... ok, You keep rambling in your head. Stay focused.

The lights bother him, the music is too loud. How old are you, Alvez, eighty? Your grandfather knew how to have fun better than you. This is the voice of his father, who speaks to him from up there. He would have loved Garcia. However, he reaches the girls and greets everyone with a smile. -Hey, Luke, where are the others?- JJ is practically forced to scream, stunning Emily who is next.

-They're ordering something...- he must shout too.

Then the song changes and also the lighting. Become slow. He can’t allow her to dance with that guy, even if he can’t even see him in the face to see if this also looks like him...

-Alvez!- the smile freezes on his lips until it becomes a grimace. -I can’t believe it, mole boy, how many years is, for the hell, that we don’t see each other? What are you doing here?- Luke is catapulted back in time, when he was just a recruit and wore glasses with thick lenses like Coke bottles. Given the music soft enough, the girls can hear what he says and look at the two men, confused.

-Jeff!- Penelope screams. He wouldn’t need to hear again that name. -Do you know him?- Garcia is always talking, giving voice to the perplexity of everyone.

-Sure, we were in the same course for ranger.- the man can’t stop staring at Luke. -I can’t really believe it, you've made it to the gym, eh, mole boy?- hearing again that nickname is more than he is able to endure. Too many wounds are still open. He feels himself sinking, to the idea that that guy in front of Penelope pulls out that story.

-Sorry, why mole boy?- here, perfect. Thanks, Tara. He glares at her, but she doesn’t notice. Without anyone saying anything they move to a quieter area, reaching the other three agents. Great, so at least everyone will know in one shot.

-Well, it's a really funny story. This kid here, when he was a little lower than that and definitely less muscular, had the bad habit of spending time digging in the ground, I don’t know what the hell he hoped to find, oil, maybe?- if it was over here, he would have been fine too.

-It doesn’t seem to me very much a funny story.- a shame that Garcia is notoriously curious. Too much. But he can’t curse her.

-I wished to take a specialization in geology.- he explains blushing and looking for the gaze of Reid, the only one who can understand him.

-Here, that’s the reason that you know about that thing, about the ground, the sinkholes with that strange name...- Rossi goes a little too far out of the way.

-Yes, but it doesn’t end there.- Jeff never liked not being the center of attention. He has always been an exhibitionist. Willing to do anything, just to be noticed. -Alvez had glasses so thicker... they were bigger than he was.- he understands the gaffe he has made. Garcia set better her own glasses and continues to wade him, as if asking him when the fun part arrives. Thinking to get out Jeff pulls out his wallet and from this an old picture. It’s not possible. He can’t have taken with him a picture of twenty years ago for all these years... He shows it especially to women, pointing first to a very attractive boy, but in a fake way. -This is me.- he adds to way of comment, with a smile to thirty-two teeth. Luke glances at Rossi, as if to ask him permission to pull that fist. -And this is Alvez.- he looks away from the image, but his eyes end up on the face of Penelope, looking for some sign of disgust, a laugh, a mockery... but a tender smile (as when she had saw Roxy for the first time) fold the woman's red lips.

-Oh!- she exclaims with a sweet tone. -But how pretty you were!- JJ and Emily looks at each other in agreement, Rossi and Matt exchange a silent five. The only one who isn’t satisfied with the comment is Jeff.

He must find a way to get Garcia's attention. -I didn’t think you could finish the course and instead...- he exclaims, withdrawing the photograph. That guy is too pleased. But not just for the taste of Luke, who seems to have lost the ability to speak.

-And instead he became a first level profiler, saves a lot of lives every day, while you remained exactly as you were, a ranger who behaves like a player, who can only criticize others. I can guess how good they will look, the new levers!- it seems impossible, but the blame comes just from Penelope, who crosses her arms and doesn’t stop staring at the man with whom a moment before, before Luke arrived, she was dancing carefree.

-What the hell is your problem?- everyone is waiting for a wrong move to intervene and postpone the type from where he arrived. Things are getting good and maybe finally, tonight, two of them will not come back separated...

-My only problem is that I’m the only one that could treat Alvez badly. And his nickname is newbie, not mole boy. Or better yet Cool Hand Luke.- Jeff widens his eyes until they almost come out of their sockets. At the last sentence he thinks decidedly badly. -Listen carefully: I’m the only that could give him nicknames, only I, I have the right to make fun of him in a lovely way. Because he knows I'm not serious, that I love him because he's part of the family.- it's the first time she admits such a thing. -Then move along, because this time you are out of luck.-

 **

The good is good, but the best is better

 She had defended him. She had really defended him, with a sword. She cared about him, by now it was clear, but... just like one of the team, of the family. Nothing had succeeded in trying to convince him otherwise. He had discussed with everyone and at the end they had left him alone to his pity.

-What should I do, JJ? Should I ask him a date?- Garcia is now desperate. With the complicity of her colleagues she tried everything, to make him move. But he, nothing.

-It could be a hypothesis to be taken into consideration. We never come back out, if we wait for him. He is as stubborn as you were before you got to know Lisa.- already, only one rival was enough to understand how blind and stupid she was. Not even four had been enough for Luke.

-I don’t want, I want him to do it. As in the movies.- she crosses her arms and speaks with an exaggeratedly childish tone.

-Hey, I got a brilliant idea! I'm sure this time it will work.- everyone turns to Matt, who rubs his hands conspiratorially.

 Evening. O'Keef. They have returned to their usual place.

Penelope is not there. She is delayed. But now everything is back as before, Luke has decided to continue to watch from afar, it’s definitely easier this way. Even if it means seeing her marry with another. To know that the smile on her lips is caused by another.

Stop with these melancholy thoughts. Life goes on, the entire world can’t turn just around Penelope.

But it did anyway.

He looks at the others in suspicious way. Surely, they know where she is and whit whom. But he is really sure that he wants to know what he is unaware? No. Until the end coward. He had disappointed his dad and Phil too.

And then she arrives. Breathless, sweat on her forehead, out of breath, clothes definitely not suitable for an evening of drinking with friends. The shoes with some traces of mud. -Sorry for the delay, I accompanied Daniel to take a walk with Trixie and I was so amused that I lost track of time.- here, there is another, maybe not like him, maybe this will be normal, make her happy and succeed in undertaking to marry her. Patience. -Trixie is really adorable and sweet, the most beautiful dog I've ever seen.- not a hand on the hip of the blonde, or talk out of place on marriage or vulgar proposals in Spanish... but a simple and trivial word succeeds in the task that now seemed impossible. Make him move and this time definitely.

-Did you go out with another dog?- he says the word as if she were talking about drugs, as if she had committed the worst crime in the world. Penelope nods, the usual innocent look. Luke even stands up and takes her by the shoulders, shaking her. -How could you betray Roxy?- there is a snap, but none of them takes notice, it's Matt who slaps his forehead.

-These two are really talking about the dog instead of them?- he asks the others, continuing to shake his heads. Emily beckons him to be silent. They really need popcorn, damn it.

-Roxy?- Garcia repeats, looking directly into his eyes. -I just went for a walk with a dog and...- Luke makes a sign of denial with his head, tears in his eyes.

-Precisely, this is... I didn’t think that you could do something like this. A high betrayal of that kind. When I say it to Roxy...- another hit, this time on the table.

-No, tell me that he is not really making her believe that who feels really bad is the dog.- Simmons just can’t keep from commenting. -It wasn’t what I hope...- JJ, near him, sighs.

-Yes, but it seems that it’s still working.- she return to focus on the show.

-Forgive me, but anyway... I only went out once... - does she mean the dog or its owner? -and I didn’t give anything, to Trixie, not even a biscuit, I swear.- of the dog, as it turns out. Penelope speaks as if she really felt guilty.

-Really?- and Luke stubbornly refuses to trust. He stops shaking her but does not let her go. Without realizing it, he approaches her a little to himself.

-Yes, really.- they can’t take their eyes off each other.

-But ... but you said it was the most beautiful dog you had ever seen... - a hand of Penelope reaches Luke's neck, the other his cheek.

-Well, I lied.- she smiles shy. -All dogs, animals indeed, are beautiful, but Roxy is special. Only with Roxy I would be forever and I caress her and let me kiss and invade her with presents...- now. He must do it now. Luke is smiling too. What is he waiting for? Does he need a push? -Luke?- less than an inch between their lips.

-Yes?- there is a moment when ingenuity ceases to be sexy and becomes annoying.

-Are you going to kiss me or I have to go back to Trixie?- he doesn’t let her almost the time to finish. Finally, their lips blend together, they continue to change position, the hands that pass from the neck to the shoulders. With great delicacy, the others wait for them to come out before applauding. And then Rossi proposes a toast to celebrate the success of a titanic enterprise.

Each of them stands up and says something moving and even stupid. Often Garcia hides the face on Luke's chest, not because she is embarrassed but for the simple taste of being able to freely do it. Here, the right term is free.

The last one to get up is Matt. -A Roxy, without which we would still be in this quagmire. I bless that dog and I promise to give her a supply of food for the whole year.- among the laughs, the reply comes instantly.

-No crunchy, however, Roxy can eat only raw food!- they look at each other and start kissing again. This time even more intensely.

-Luke, do you say that Roxy will ever forgive me?- it’s clearly a provocation.

-Maybe.- Luke answers. -If you show yourself really sorry...- the mischievous grimace that lights her terribly.

-Oh.- she plays the part of the innocent. -General, I'm ready to pay for my crime.- a light passes through their eyes.

Before things degenerate, Rossi hurries to intervene. -Guys, it would be better if you were get a room. Roxy wouldn’t want her little brother to be conceived in a bar.- yet the echo of the laughter of others, but it doesn’t touch them. Just bend their lips up a little.

 TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies @janiedreams88 @kiki-krakatoa @yessenia993 @teyamarra @c00lhandsluke  @gcchic @arses21434 @orangesickle @entireoranges @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @maziikeen92 @lovelukealvez @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @ichooseno  @ megs2219 @rkt3357 @franklintrixie @thinitta @chewwy123 @skisun @maba84 @saisnarry @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes

[gukiex]

Eclipse of the Heart - ch 1

Genre: Prince AU, smut, angst, Fantasy, slight fluff. (Game of Thrones inspired)

Paring: Jungkook x Reader, Yoongi x Reader ft OT7

Word Count: 6k

Summary: The chaos of Prince Jeongguk's world caused him to lose sight of you. Your once haunting face that danced the halls and invaded his dreams had soon been forgotten. You had to watch him grow before your eyes while you disappeared from his.

He was the Prince, soon to be King.

You were a Lady, soon to be Duchess.

Prv Ch: Prologue

April 14th, 321 AC

Present Day

Many years passed since Y/N saved the prince from hanging in a tree. The two of you swore never to speak of the occasion, one side being out of fear of your parents wrath if they found out the daughter of a Nobleman was running about in boy clothes, acting far from ladylike in the eyes of the city folk. The second side hidden from the humiliation of being recused and to make matters worse, by a girl.

Prince Jeongguk would take claim to the thrown soon and to have being saved by a female under his belt was surely not the way he wanted to be remembered.

Prince Jeongguk was not a sexist nor arrogant man, the prince just didn't want to be penalized over an accident from when he was a boy.

His highness took others opinion's seriously, more than some would say was healthy but it's not like he lived and breathed other words, he knew when it was time to draw the line and believe in the ones that truly mattered—his own.. This was a trait that he was proud of none the less, especially when it came to bettering the lives of the many people who adored him. He respected the crown's followers, wanting to rule with compassion unlike the many kings who sat on the throne before him. He only hid the truth of that day in fear that people would see him as a weak man, someone who needed saving instead of being a saviour.

Much like his father.

King Jeon is an honourable and wise King, all men feared him for his diligent acts to protect the kingdom during his reign. He showed no weaknesses, had no secrets that could bury him and kept his word which was an uncommon trait in many royal houses. The kingdom's people loved and adored him and that's all Prince Jeongguk wanted in the days he too would be crowned their leader, he wanted their respect, their trust and undoubted loyalty. So in hopes of maintaining his image he kept that day quiet and was thankful you had done the same.

But that it was still silly, Prince Jeongguk knew that much.

The first few years you two would simply pass in the halls, see each another at ceremonies and tournaments since both appearances were always mandatory. When you would notice each other's presence, Prince Jeongguk's mind would always taunt him, labelling you as the rescuer and he the rescued, playing on his insecurities that he tried to hide with a thick blanket of pride. Prince Jeongguk wanted so desperately to forget that day but he simply couldn't, not when you were the daughter to a nobleman whom resided in the castle's very own living quarters. You could sense his leniency toward yourself, you thought it was foolish how he held it over you like a dark cloud shadowing your true self, Prince Jeongguk never taking the opportunity to actually get to know you after the incident, letting himself cast a portrait of you that you knew was false imagery.

Another fact he failed to take in account was that he was only a boy, a young boy aged 10, to small for his year—though you would never admit that, not to him nor anyone for her was still your prince. But with that being said, it didn't make you feel anymore powerful or stronger than the Prince at the time, you simply lent a helping hand to someone in need and that's all it was to you.

But Jeongguk forever saw it differently.

Your kindness was a mockery to his character and since than he trained himself to be able to handle those situations alone, never wanting the help of another to save his life again.

More years passed and the memories faded. Still present but not as daunting. The two of you grew, shaping into a strong young man and beautiful young woman. Age treating you both well.

The chaos of Prince Jeongguk's world caused him to lose sight of you. Your once haunting face that danced the halls and invaded his dreams had soon been forgotten. You had to watch him grow before your very own eyes while you disappeared from his.

He was the Prince, soon to be King.

You were a Lady, soon to be Duchess.

"Y/N what on earth have you done!?"

The hushed cry from your mother caused you to flinch. You technically had done nothing but still Mother found a flaw to depict.

You silently wished for something simpler.

You turned to face the woman, the imperfect-perfect Duchess, ready to take whatever scolding lay before you.

"Your hands child, what have you done to your hands!?"

Boney fingers picked and prodded at your palms and fingers. Traces of dirt lined your skin, light brown specks just below your nail beds. Your Mothers face resembled sheer horror as she inspected the imperfections, already coming to realization what acts could have brought such flaws.

"I've told you to stay out of that filth of a place and of all the days you go when you know of the ceremony tonight!" Mother lets out an exaggerated sigh, throwing your hands into your lap where you clasp them tightly.

She turned away with a huff and walked towards your chambermaid, Iseul.

The elder woman is informed to 'soak the girls hands, than scrubbed and soaked again until they come out perfect.'

You knew this alone would take hours, especially when the orders were given from mother herself.

Everything always had to be perfect.

"I expect to see you cleaned and ready by the time I return from tea. Lord Kim Hyejin of Gyeonggi-do is coming to the ceremony to see you this evening, I will not have you ruin this for me."

You shudder, 'For me,' you taste bile at the simple words

Always for her. Never for you.

You wanted to scream out but you knew you wouldn't be heard. You wanted to throw a chair but it would never be seen. Not in her eyes at least.

You are to marry soon. Each month a different suitor, each month you endure the sweaty palms, hidden gropes, hot breath on you neck, all to look for a pair, all to please your parents.

And you remain pure for them, all for them, never for you.

Only each month there are no wedding invitations. No planning. No husband. This makes your mother angry.

They give you the freedom of choice, you praise them for that but you knew deep down it was all your fathers doing, your mother would merrily take the reins if she could. But the more you turn away the Lords, the more you mother grows agitated, unable to hold back her annoyance with you. Soon she'll pick for you, despite the reassurance your father had given you—you can see her patience wasting away but you can't choose, it wasn't that simple. Not because they're all so arrogant and egotistic from their high born ways, no, some of them were actually quite nice, what they lack is that they simply just don't see.

They don't see you, therefore you do not see them.

So you are left unbetrothed, unhappy and alone.

And you fear it may end that way regardless. Husband or no Husband, you fear being alone even if you did choose. A knowing grew in you over the years, you saw it, you knew others did too. You were too different from the other Lady's in the castle, those who swoon at the sight of a handsome face and happily give their hand to a man with a nice smile and a charming dilect. Their ability to open their hearts so easily drives you mad, a trait you don't acquire so easily. They're content with their lives, following said routines and orders, practicing the ways of becoming the perfect Lady. As a young girl you rebelled against such expectations, refraining from the stereotypes and imagery set before you, you didn't find comfort in idea of perfect posture, eloquent dialect and a lesser knowledge to make even the village fool feel ingenious. That was not your idea of living and you would not come to love yourself nor expect someone to truly love you when you wouldn't even grow to be whom you were destined to become.

So you've come to terms with your fate.

You will be the last to marry, you will be the last to love.

Your body jerks and pulls as the corset under your bust is tightened.

"Suck in"

Pull.

"Breath out."

Yank.

"Lift up."

Tug.

Over and over again. All until you look how you should. Modest and slender, leaving enough skin exposed to hint you wish to be desired.

The maids attended to you like bees to their hive. Multiple hands fly around, picking and prodding, touching and teasing, swiping and flicking. All while you stand emotionless, letting them work in a beautiful chaos.

Your body is laced with the finest materials of silk and lace, ruby red casting a glow of temptation on your skin. It's always red, you note silently, never blue, or green, gold or silver. Just a deep blood red. You know they call you, The Lady of The Roses, for your always laced in the finest red cloths, every ceremony, every event. It's Mother's doing of course, she says its the best colour on you, complimenting you impeccably.

as usual. Your Father and Mother wait anxiously, well more your mother than father realistically. They're already dressed in their finest and plastered with their best smiles but you can see the nerves bubbling just below the surface, hope gleaming in their eyes, he's the one, he's definitely the one' you picture your mother whispering to your father, the words becoming somewhat of a ritual for she says this with every new suitor.

Maybe she's the curse of your love life.

They chat with close friends to pass the time, father congratulates whilst mother gossips.

Typical.

You slowly approach and mother acknowledges you briefly, turning to inspect you like always, giving you the curt nod of approval than goes back to talking, ushering you away.

Fathers eye catches you standing quietly beside him, a warm smile growing on his features. You return it even brighter. He is the only one you can stand, his genuine heart sheltering you with his love, he beckons you in and introduces you to the man who he speaks with. You give a soft nod and quick curtsey out of respect before father excuses himself and gives you his full attention.

"My dear, you look wonderful." He coo's and gives you a quick hug. You mutter a thanks and he looks at you with his knowing eye.

"Something troubles you, what's wrong busy bee?"

A genuine smile plays on your lips when he uses your nickname, one he'd been calling you since since your earliest memory as a child, the name stemming from your incessant need to always be doing something, even if that something wound you in trouble. You recall the many times father had been beckoned to the guards tower, images of his stiff nods and stern expressions as he listen to what you had done before he would be allowed to take you home. He'd give you a brief scolding on the walk back to your chambers but he'd be trying to hide his amused smile, failing miserably as he could never stay mad about the situations for long.

You let out a sigh, turning to look at the woman he's loved for 21 years and wonder how on earth he manages.

"Oh bee, please do not carry a heavy heart over your mother. She loves you, she may have a tough way of showing it but she's cares for you more than anything." He reassures, gently caressing your bare arm.

You close your eyes softly, letting the familiar words try to ease the hatred in your heart but it fails any attempts. You try to understand her love, you do, but you just cannot bring your heart to accept the woman who claims to have your best interest in mind. She tries to put out the fire in you she knows burns wildly outside of the castle walls. You are not yourself in here, you are yourself out there, out in the open fields, roaming the cities streets that's air smells of baking bread and freshly brewed ale.

You are where the dirt can touch your skin and the wind makes you feel alive.

Not in the large walls of stone and power, under watchful eyes and judging whispers.

Out there you are Y/N, you are accepted.

In here you are a faceless prisoner to their ways, a slave to their society.

"I know Father, I try—I try for you."

He nods understandingly. When you were young he was blinded by your mothers need to smother you in authority, thinking she was right in her doings because mothers always know best don't they say? But over the years as he saw your pain and suffering was a genuine feat he loosened his reins, giving you an ounce of the freedom you craved. He allows you most but not all and with that you are grateful. Without him you would be wed next week to a man you hardly know for a sliver of power and fortune. Mother would make sure of this but father always makes the final calls and he gives you the luxury of choice and as you've said, you're truly grateful.

Trumpets sound and the castle doors open on cue. Excited whispers fill the air, the castles people in a frenzy, eager to get their glimpse on tonight's guests.

Noblemen and women enter the hall, heads high as they show their titles in their strides. Your eyes scan the crowd as they descend into the halls, you and your parents begin greeting familiars and welcoming unknowns.

Your gaze locks with another and you shift uncomfortably under their stare. Your exposed neck heats with a blush and you turn your head, breaking eye contact with the man who's gaze still rests upon you.

Lord Yoongi of House Min, one of the greater houses in the Kingdom. It felt like a century since he last appeared in the castle walls, if you recall correctly, 6 years ago when you were aged 14. His looks changed drastically, his face more handsome and strong, eyes fiecer and lips pinker. To say he hasn't aged well would cause you to sinfully lie.

After the silent exchange, you were ushered to your mother and fathers side, standing upright and proper as Lord Kim Hyejin and his brother Lord Kim Seokjin approach you unaccompanied by their parents. The brothers are of House Kim, a principal house in Gyeonggi-do as it is in the regional capital, located at the top of a mountain and reputed to be an impregnable fortress.

You knew Lord Seokjin through passing, the oldest making more appearances in the castle than his brother, though you never had been properly introduced you knew of his kindness and dashing features from the many times he'd been gossiped about by other Lady's who sought after his affection. Lord Kim Hyejin on the other hand you'd never met nor seen, a reason you have no knowledge of, his existence not even attaining a whisper to play on his character. But you can feel his eyes on you as they draw closer and you can't bare to look his way, you know it's impolite to not formally greet them both but everything inside of you screams a shrilling beware to the awaited guest.

The intensity of his gaze breaks you and your eyes flick up to his face.

He is handsome.

But a dark cloud looms in his presence and you notice a flicker in his eyes, a daunting shadow behind his smile. Somethings off about him, your instincts telling you to stay away and you've never in your life wanted so badly to oblige.

Your parents introduce you, curtsey's and bows politely exchanged.

"M'lady." Lord Hyejin takes your hand, a smirk drawing on his features while he lifts your limp wrist to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on its surface. You shiver at the touch, goosebumps spreading on your skin like wildfire though not out of excitement and lustful desires but of a ghostly feeling of disgust and fear from his touch.

You've never had this happen before, your mind always open to giving suitors a chance, always pushing back first impressions so you don't judge to quickly.

But him.

There is something about him.

Something sinister that makes you want to run away yet run towards him at the same time. Danger lurks beneath his eyes, thrilling and compelling but you don't go with the pull thats urging you forwards, instead you go with the push that's yelling at you to get as far away from him as possible.

The doors to the main hall are announced to be open, informants awaiting to take the names of the important guests to present for the awaiting Royal family to see.

Lord Hyejin turns to your side, smirking down at you as he holds an arm for you to take.

"Care to escort me?" He purrs and you want to deny but know it'll be rude to say otherwise.

"My pleasure." You sing through gritted teeth, locking your limbs together and the feeling of him touching you makes your skin crawl.

"Ah, but the pleasure is all mine." He whispers in your ear and you breathe in a low shaky breath to calm your nerves.

Forcing a smile as the two of you move down the hallway, you stop for Lord Hyejin to give your names, his important title being one to announce at tonight's event.

His brother is announced before you, than follows Hyejin's title as well as your own.

The doors are held open as you step through, soft claps fill the room as you descend the staircase, allowing the royal family to gaze upon your presence.

Your eyes cast over to Prince Jeongguk's seat, finding him sitting up proper in his chair as he watches you all with great ferocity and power. The way his eyes scan the guests allows you to see that one day he will make a great King, the qualities already lying beneath the surface.

You reach the bottom and Lord Hyejin properly bows before you and you the same before you both split off to do your rounds of greeting.

You catch a strong pair of eyes following you around the room but you don't dare to look at the corner they stare from.

Prince Jeongguk is watching you.

You wonder if he remembers who you are or if you're just a faint memory in his mind. He doesn't acknowledge your presence like he used to and you sense that with age he's matured, let the childish grudge go and possibly the memory of his female saviour along with it, the thought of this slightly saddening you. You try your hardest to ignore his intense stare until you see a familiar face in the crowd and you grin widely at his presence. You weave through the sea of people, eager to get to your best friend of many years.

"Missed me?" You murmur into their right ear and as they turn to look you switch to their left side, laughing silently knowing their face scrunches with confusion.

When he keeps looking in that direction for you and you cant hold back the audible giggle caused by his oblivious state.

"I must say, that hit you took never really did any good to your brain."

Hoseok whips around at your mocking words, his face startled showing he really was shocked to see you there. His features soften and a warm smile resides on his lips. You give him one of your own. But than you sense a saddening in his eyes and right away you know something's wrong.

In a hushed voice you ask, "What is it?"

Hoseok sighs lowly, a sad grin replacing the old as he shakes his head slowly. "I can never seem to hide my dwellings from you can I?"

You laugh softly, "I'm afraid not, you're as transparent as the water in your cup so tell me Hoseok, what's troubling you?"

His eyes scan through the crowd and by his nervous appearance you know it's something kingdom related. A gentle tug pulls you from your spot and the pair of you weave through the crowd discretely, exiting through a servants door and into an empty hallway.

Hoseok checks the surroundings twice over before leaning in towards you.

"There's a rebellion in the east."

You gasp, sure the kingdom has its troubles but for there to be an issue inside it's own territory is alarming.

"What causes this?" You ask worriedly.

"The King is not sure. A few men have been sent to make sense of this but since their departure there has been no news. Their absence has stirred up quite a panic for the Royal houses and the King has ordered for a second group to go."

The castles men are always coming and going to relieve any conflicts outside of the walls so this information is not unheard of. But by the look in Hoseok's eyes you know the true reason behind his dwelling.

"You're one of them aren't you?"

Hoseok is quiet for a moment before he mutters a low, "yes".

Before you can speak on this he begins to talk again.

"It is my civil duty to defend the kingdom's boarders and protect our king, I am not afraid nor doubtful of this it's just—" He pauses, pained eyes casting to the ground. "The journey alone is a 6 day ride and the days we will spend are uncertain so the total amount of time gone may be a vast one."

"Okay?" You beckon for him to go on sensing there is more to his words.

"We leave the day after tomorrow." He concludes and now you understand what causes such trouble for him.

"Oh." You mutter but quickly place your palm onto his upper arm. "I understand and it is quite alright, do not leave with a mind that worries for me Hoseok. I do not wish for your judgement to be clouded on such foolishness."

"But it is not foolish!" He challenges, moving an inch closer. "It is your name day Y/N, do you really desire to be so unhappy on a day you should be flooding with joy? I know how much you love spending the day in the city with me, mother and our friends but with my absence I can't guarantee such things for you this year."

"It's okay Hoseok, I understand. Besides, I'm turning 21 and I assume my mother is planning something big for the occasion, especially considering Lord Hyejin and Lord Seokjin are here and I have no knowledge on how long they intend to stay." You frown at the mention of Lord Hyejin's name, the same daunting feeling as before washing over you in a thick wave. You shudder and this doesn't go unnoticed by Hoseok.

"Ahh, the man who escorted you, Lord Hyejjn of Gyeonggi-do, a potential suitor I assume?"

You nod in agreement. "Yes."

"Why do you look so repulsed? Has he tried something already? Did he...touch you?" Hoseok stiffens at his own accusation and you fiercely shake your head before he gets any wrong ideas. Hoseok can be very over protective, which you adore since he is like a brother to you but his strong need to protect has heightened since he was appointed the head of the Kings army.

"I have unsettling feelings about Lord Hyejin, there's something off about him Hoseok. I think I may be going mad for I cannot pin point it exactly or give a better reasoning but I do know that I don't like the aura I'm receiving from him, it's overwhelming."

Hoseok nods understandingly and you're glad he does not press any further. Even if he did, he would come up short for you have no other words besides what you've already shared. You have no proper understanding of the man, all you've encountered being all you know. But you owe him some courtesy, so you cannot judge him to quickly or harshly. Not until his layers are peeled back and he reveals what truly lies beneath.

And what lies beneath is either opposite of what you're predicting or Lord Kim Hyejin might reveal exactly what you fear.

The ceremony is fully underway now. Nobles are dancing, drinking and laughing under the royal families watch. You stay to the back, hidden in the shadows as you watch the night unfold. Mother is chatting away, close to the Kings table as the women all sneakily listen for the Royals latest gossip. Father is drinking and laughing with some men you have yet to know, neither being worried about where you are, what you're doing or whom you're with.

You stand alone, not troubled nor happy about it. You're not sure where Lord Hyejin has gone for you haven't seen him all night, nor his brother either but you do not complain, you prefer to have the time to yourself, especially after the feelings you had when first encountering the man. As you watch the night go on, listening cheers and music, you begin to feel out of place amongst them all and your only saving grace being leaving which you're not permitted to do. You've snuck away before, resulting in you being condemned to your room for two fort nights with only meal privileges and mothers constant scolding. Never will you allow that torture to partake again.

A traditional dance is now in full swing, everyone clapping and singing along. Men and women of all ages smiling and twirling about as the music enchants their bodies.

Clap, step, twirl, switch. You feel dizzy watching them move. You see multiple eyes lingering your way, already knowing their intentions you sink further back into the shadows, hoping none are brave enough to pursue their yearning. You can already imagine their sweaty palms gripping your own as they lead you through the dance and you shudder at the thought. You curse Hoseok for leaving, suddenly being called away due to his important title but when duty beckons him he must oblige.

"To think a girl of your beauty hasn't been asked to dance yet, the men here must be foolish and blind."

You freeze. You know this voice, it has aged many years but you know it well.

You shift your gaze to the stranger and are presented with someone far from the title of being unknown.

Lord Min Yoongi.

"Oh, My lord, I'm sorry." You bow quickly only for a finger to tap your shoulder, signalling for you to rise. You catch eyes, his already warm with a matching smile.

"You've certainly grown since we've last met Lady Y/N, age has graced you wonderfully." He comments, his brow lifting as he studies you.

"Thank you, My Lord." Your body surges with an unknown feeling, you almost shudder but you restrain yourself. The effects of one stare, you're certainly going mad tonight.

"Tisk." He scolds, his finger waggling inches before your face. "Call me Yoongi, I do reckon we are considered friends aren't we or has my time away left me mistaken?"

You cast your eyes away. His own creating to powerful of a gaze and you can feel your skin heating.

"I'm sorry." You foolishly apologize but your words are short, you are at a loss and you hate what a childhood crush can do to a person.

"Y/N you apologize as much as I drink, come why don't we accompany one another and share some wine. We're both on the outs tonight so let's just enjoy a party of two." He takes your hand and without a say you're being dragged from the comforts of your corner and into a mass of people.

Prince Jeongguk watches as the noblemen and women enjoy his fathers food and drink. Everyone's come to be seen by the King, all dressed in their finest to impress his grace, to show their undying fondness for the man. The prince sits at the head table observing them, picturing the day they'll all be here to celebrate him too. Jeongguk listens to their cheering, taking in their smiles and oblivious nature to what really perches in the darkness outside of the castle walls. Their lack of knowledge deceives them, for this isn't just a gathering of appreciation, no, but merely a distraction from what really glooms over the kingdom.

His Father says the people need a ball, something to keep their spirits high before news arrives that will rattle the castle walls and shake the many Noble houses of the kingdom for miles. Something is brewing outside of the border, they don't know what but they do know a threat is awaiting. The king claims they're simply rebellions but the foul acts that have been reported seem of something so much more. Prince Jeongguk watches them some more and he envies their joyous smiles, their ignorance that is surely bliss, something he wished he could indulge in but the luxury is not, nor will it ever be his own for his title permits him to be in the know. Surely there has been whispers in the halls and at dining tables but everyone awaits the Kings announcement that a day of reckoning is near, no one foolish enough to make the accusations themselves. So when that day comes, everyone must stand and fight, for love of their kingdom and of His Grace.

Whatever that fight may bring.

The unknown troubles his mind immensely, for his crowning is sure to be soon. He is ready, undoubtedly, but to rule during war would rattle any Prince who knew better. The King says it is nothing, to not let it worry his young mind for he will see greater battles than whatever they may face in the near future, claiming that these foolish men who test their kingdom won't last a minute in battle against his armies. Only the reports from the borders guards has his fathers face aging harsher each day and there is no denying the toll it is taking on the man.

Prince Jeongguk sips on some wine as he scan's over the crowd of people aimlessly. The King had been called off to an urgent council meeting, one he knows that has to do with the impending war. His Mother is sitting peacefully, enjoying the event as if she were oblivious to the true nature behind it and now he finds himself envying her too. The beloved woman had always been so carefree, taking each day as it came and never dwelling on what if's, what a gift to possess he muses.

As the prince scans the crowd again, he see's you.

A face so familiar he can't help but stare and wonder, this isn't the first time he'd admired you throughout the night, nor is it the first night either. Your beauty intoxicatingly radiant yet you bare no smile as you sip from your cup. What could cause you such anguish in a room full of joyful frenzy he wonders. There's an occasional twitch one could presume was a smile, something he'd surely miss if he weren't looking but your features are screaming for you to be saved, you're bored. Jungkook look's to see who accompanies you and low and behold, the infamous Lord Min Yoongi of House Min, known for his charm and dashing looks, perched closely at your side, a suitor he notes that would match perfectly with your own captivating grace. He create scenarios in his mind of what you two might be talking about, why the Lord seemed to be able to make you smile when nothing else could.

Prince Jeongguk can feel himself staring for far to long and like a silent message was delivered across the room, you look his way.

The prince shifts his gaze away shyly but can't help from peeking at you through the corner of his eye to see your own still pointed in his direction.

He straighten's himself, remembering his title.

I'm The Prince, he remind's no one, mentally scolding himself for such boyish behaviour. He can gaze upon whomever he'd like, he notes, he is the Prince.

Jungkook looks back once again, this time his stare firm and face hardened like stone.

You're still looking.

He cower's once again.

The familiarity of your face is so compelling yet he can't rake his brain for clues. Who are you? And why do you have this sudden control over his emotions.

He curse's this feeling.

He needs a stronger drink.

[mcrmadness]

4, 11, 18 & 26 for the non american ask^^

Thanks! :D

4. favourite dish specific for your country?

Does rye bread count? You just can't get the perfect type of rye bread from anywhere else than from Finland, and I think also Estonia loves their rye bread? There's probably some dark breads in Scandinavia too but I feel like they might be a bit sweeter, which is not my favorite. (They also had rye bread in Poland when I visited there, and it was fine but not like the one I've got used to here :D)

The typical, good Finnish rye bread is almost or only 100% rye and it's slightly sour. I usually eat only rye bread that is 100% rye because the wheat there is totally pointless and if it's not wholegrain, it's just... basically same as putting sugar in the bread, (the wheat there) has absolutely no nutritional value.

***

11. favourite native writer/poet?

Hmm. I don't like poems in any language and apparently this is something I've had since I was a little kid because I always took some Finnish poetry books from the bookshelf (my mom loves poems, especially this author's) and yeeted it to somewhere in the room............. I just didn't like having it in the bookshelf at all XD

I also haven't really read any books from Finnish authors. I don't think we have THAT big of a scene, it's quite difficult to be any kind of artist in Finland cos you have to do so much work for that and it still might not be enough. I guess most here do several things, or write a book as a sidejob because it might be impossible to make a living with that. The first and latest book written by a Finn (Antti Holma) was this autobiography by someone who started as an actor, but doesn't even live in Finland anymore because this country just doesn't offer him suitable work anymore, and he can still write occassionally when living abroad. I liked the book tho, but I don't know if I he is the best answer for this when his books are literally the only two books written by a Finn that I have read.

I own more of non-fiction by Finns, but mainly those are just horse related books, e.g. about the history of Finnhorse, or horse training books from an animal trainer Tuire Kaimio, and her books were my first touch to "natural horsemanship" when I was 13.

Also, Finland of course has a long history of writers, there's lots of big names and altho I like reading, I'm so bad at reading books people label as classics. I haven't read any of those books that "every Finn has read". Like, no... I'm not interested in most of the topics, I even hated Kalevala (our natural epic) at school because I hate poems so much that I was crying blood (also from my ears) whenever I had to hear those super annoying Kalevala rhymes.

***

The rest of the stuff under the cut.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Yes!!! I'm from the East Finland and from an area where there is no particular dialect but it's like a mixture of all the Eastern dialects, and there's lots of variety already within the area of my municipality (the other end speaks slightly differently than the other end, and I live here in the middle :D). So this is really a mix of Savonian, South- and North-Karelian and I think something might come here from the Central Finland too.

I'm also extremely fond of dialects and my paternal grandma was from South Osthrobothnian, very close to the West coast, and I just recently talked about it with my mom and she said that altho my grandma lived and also died here in the East (and I was born here and have lived my whole life here so far), she absolutely hated the Savonian dialect and always said that she's not going to start talking in it EVER XD And she didn't! She always talked in her South Ostrobothnian dialect and altho I don't really remember much of that - I was 13 when she died - I guess it still is so strongly in my genes because every time I hear that dialect somewhere, I just feel like I had gone home and I feel so warm inside! Also I relate so strongly to the stereotype of West Finnish people, they're said to be very reliable and honest, and I'm a nice mixture of that AND the Savonian stereotypes too. ("A cunning Savonian", for example, lol. Apparently it has something to do with the dialect/worrisome nature of us and we not really giving straight answers, even if it wasn't even actually LYING - there's also a saying that "When a Savonian is speaking, the listener is in charge.")

That's also why I have, unintentionally, adopted lots of the Ostrobothnian dialect into how I speak, so my personal dialect is not only what people here normally speak, but also has lots of features from the Ostrobothnian dialects.

When I write online, I often clean up my dialect a bit because this Eastern dialect is actually really, really strong. I love how it (also) sounds, it has this very relaxed sound to it, like there's no worries in the world? I love it. So when I write, I write a bit closer to the common spoken Finnish, but when I start speaking... my dialect gets very strong again. Sometimes, if I'm nervous, I go more into the cleaner version because this dialect is also very noticeable and usually whenever I speak it somewhere else, people will comment on it because West Finns often find it so funny or cute sounding - or the opposite, some find it extremely obnoxious and wish no one would speak in it :D Actually if I see anyone commenting how annoying the dialect is, I start talking or writing in it even more strongly on purpose XD

Another funny thing I have noticed about how I speak is that, well, in Finnish the 1st pronoun is "minä", most people say "mä", but in my dialect it's "mie". I have always found that fun to say, but I have never liked writing it. Whenever I did comics or wrote stories/fanfiction in Finnish, I always wrote "mä". I just could not hear "mie" with them. But lately I have noticed that when I want to talk about me in a written form, like a comment on youtube, writing "mie" will give away immediately that I'm from the East and the dialect will piss off people. Sometimes they even come to comment to me something racist about Russia altho I have no connections to Russia? My whole family tree is from Finland, I might even have some roots in Germany, actually. So I very often have now replaced that with "ite" when I write - it comes from the word "itse" which, well, it's easiest to translate into German as it means "selbst". So basically I say "I myself...", but I use it like a pronoun because you can do that in Finnish, and it gives me the opportunity to avoid using "mie" and sounding "childhish", but still I have a pronoun there. Fortunately in Finnish you can also leave out the 1st and 2nd pronouns but when I add "ite" there, it kinda just emphasizes the verb even more.

Omfg I love languages and linguistics and dialects so much, I could just keep going about Finnish dialects and mine but I could imagine it being very difficult to comprehend if you don't have any existing knowledge over Finnish overall! :D

***

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal?

Very rarely, currently I can't remember any that would have not had Finnish people working with it. Usually Finland is not really known in the US, I think not everyone even in Europe know what or where is Finland even, so usually any time this country gets mentioned somewhere, everyone goes crazy.

There's probably not a single video on youtube without at least one comment going "Suomi mainittu, torilla tavataan!" if Finland has been mentioned in the video. That phrase means "Finland mentioned, let's meet at the market place!" I even use this tag in Tumblr whenever I see some random post with lots of notes and someone mentions Finland (and the someone is not Finnish themselves).

Actually, now I just remembered something! In The X-Files there has been a mention a few times! I don't remember anything else but this one episode about a chess player boy, and Scully says "Helsinki syndrome", which is an alternative/old name for "Stockholm syndrome" :D Always have to throw a party after that line XD (Jk :D)

There's also this one time when Conan O'Brien made fun of Finns on tv, and he got a bunch of angry letters from Finns and he actually apologized on tv :D Then, I don't remember if it was before or after that, he noticed he actually looks a lot like Tarja Halonen, who was our president at the time, and he made some jokes about that and in the end he actually visited Finland and even met with her, a few times :D That was HUUUUGE for us Finns XD I remember watching the episode of his visit to Finland with my family lmao.

Now I also remembered something else... SO TYPICAL OF ME :DDD ...also typical of me to forget it right after remembering it. Wtf was it again? Oh yeah! I watched lots of Jackass and Viva La Bam when I was a teenager, and it was so exciting to see how excited Bam Margera was over Finland, because he was really into Finnish (metal) music. He even once made a movie, which wasn't that interesting tbh, called "Where the F* is Santa?" and it was kinda sweet of him how he got so angry every time someone said Santa Claus comes from the North Pole, because he knew he comes from Rovaniemi, Finland instead, and he tried so hard to pronounce the name correctly and corrected everyone who thought Santa doesn't come from Finland :DD

Okay I think this is ENOUGH ::D

[wionews]

The love and war over one's language

Language is proving to be a rather contentious issue in India. From the hills of Darjeeling district in West Bengal to the IT hub of Bengaluru in South India, Indians are fighting over their native language. While the feud over language is taking a violent turns in Darjeeling, Bengaluru is facing its own cold war over Kanada. While the debate between Kannada versus Hindi, may seem exclusively about languages, in reality, it is far more complex. Everyday conversation with ordinary citizens reveal an undeniable prejudice against North Indians, Africans, North-easterners and, sometimes, even Tamilians that extends beyond languages.

I have spoken to cab drivers who do the night shifts on weekends and many of them are convinced that Kannadiga women are the paragon of virtues as they wear attire prescribed by patriarchy and remain indoors. On the other hand, the short-dress wearing and alcohol-drinking “characterless” lady with easy virtues speaks a tongue that are either native to the Hindi-speaking hinterlands or are from the North East. Ironically, while speaking to a Haryanvi taxi driver in Delhi not too long back, I heard him describe women from the south as being “characterless” and “out of control”. 

Why have these fault lines emerged? Recently, the situation worsened as protestesters gathered at Bangalore metro stations against display boards containing directions in Hindi. Undoubtedly, behind every big rift and conflict, there is politics. But politics, in its nefarious sense, is premised upon exploiting a vulnerability. Indians, are in that sense, the stereotypical (and patriarchal) damsel in distress, ever so vulnerable to exploitation. 

So allow me to throw light on Kannada. One of the oldest Indian languages, Kannada is not just poetic and beautiful; it has been the catalyst for some of the greatest philosophy, literature, poetry and cinema written and produced in the subcontinent. The works of Basavanna and Sarvagna enshrined values and principles that the western world later called “Human Rights”. Puttanna Kanagal was a director whose works were no less impressive than the great Satyajit Ray. In Dr Rajkumar, Vishnuvardhan and Anant Nag, we produced actors of incredible stature and calibre. The characters they essayed often proved to be role models for society and contributed to the positive social change. 

The fact that the people in the city of Bangalore spoke at least two or three languages with ease only made this easier. I say all this with pride and not regret.

  ×

Yet for all that Kannada is and will be, it is also remarkably humble and unassuming. It looked the other way and did not raise a quarrel when south Indians became synonymous with “Madrasis” (who represent, contrary to popular belief, the people of a region of Tamil Nadu, now called Chennai, and not the whole of south of India). The people of Karnataka learnt many other languages, instead of refusing to go beyond their own, because we are both capable and sensitive. In the north of Karnataka, Marathi and Hindi is spoken with ease. In my city, even before the IT boom occurred, Tamil and Telugu was prevalent. With the IT boom, large waves of people from the west, north and east of India called Bangalore their home, thereby, enriching our city. Many expats soon found the weather and the cosmopolitan culture here quite pleasant and further contributed to the city’s diversity. The fact that the people in the city of Bangalore spoke at least two or three languages with ease only made this easier. I say all this with pride and not regret.

Yet somewhere this humility became insecurity and this became apparent through the world of cinema. “Paru, I love you”, “Dil Rangeela”, “Paru, Wife of Devdas”, “Johnny Mera Naam”, are just some of the examples of Kannada films having English and Hindi titles. Where South Indian stalwarts like P.B. Srinivas and S.P. Balsubramaniam along with S. Janaki ruled South Indian music, they were replaced not by south Indians or Kannadigas, but by the likes of Sonu Nigam, Shaan, Kumar Sanu and Shreya Ghoshal who sang many hit Kannada songs. Why did we abandon our own talent who could pronounce Kannada better, in favour of those singers and artists who barely knew the meaning of the songs they sang?

Our own heroines were substituted by heroines from Punjab, Mumbai and other parts of India. Wouldn’t actors from other parts of India find it difficult to mouth dialogues in Kannada?

  ×

Karnataka's own heroines were substituted by heroines from Punjab, Mumbai and other parts of India. Wouldn’t actors from other parts of India find it difficult to mouth dialogues in Kannada? Never mind that Indian cinema, in general, has few character roles for women, preferring instead to make them look fair in skimpy clothes. Heck, Sudeep, one of Karnataka very talented actors, starred in a movie called “Bachan”, named after the legend himself. In yet another movie, “Maanikya”, he grooves to a song titled, “Aasman se khoodle, tu naachle tu naachle” and the Kannada in that line is clearly invisible. 

It is not all bad. Films like “Urgram”, “Shuddhi” and “Urvi” signal the revival of Kannada films towards the story driven narrative that we were once famous for. We have talented new film makers like Rakshit Shetty, Pawan Kumar, Raj B. Shetty and Prakash Raj who are delivering excellent movies. While I am yet to come across the quality of lyrics that some of the Black and White Kannada movies would have, there are talented lyricists, such as Jayanth Kaikini who have expressed romance through incredible lyrics. Yet these aforesaid movies are still not mainstream enough. On the other hand, Kannada films with Hindi and English titles have not failed to be popular so far.

Kannadigas must find their lost pride for their language and represent themselves with confidence instead of insecurity.

  ×

With the issue around language being what it is today in Bengaluru- we have two parallel fault lines to correct. On one hand, you obviously have a culture that operates on the ignorance that Hindi is our national language and, therefore, Hindi speakers need not speak Kannada. This hegemony, premised on ignorance, is not only self-depreciating but offensive. The tragedy is, there are discourses on social media and elsewhere which mock Kannada and Kannadigas. An absence of the ability to speak a language is excused, but the absence of effort and inclination needs correction, of both attitude and approach. On the other hand, Kannadigas must find their lost pride for their language and represent themselves with confidence instead of insecurity. That, we are home to multiple languages and remain inclusive as a culture, is our strength and not our weakness. 

My first words were in Kannada. I think in Kannada and what I write in this article is translated from my Kannada thoughts to English sentences. In times of intense emotional crises and personal setbacks, solutions come in Kannada and not English. I wear this language with pride. When there is a child born in the family, I have no means to interact with him or her except in Kannada. My native vernacular, after all, is not just a language, it is part of my identity. I am sure other languages mean the same to their speakers. Why should that stop us from learning other identities? 

Back in 1947, the idea of India was born in the hope that we will shed the baggage of our many socio-economic problems, prejudices and biases. India’s growth story is founded upon the spirit of co-operation which was necessary to heal the wounds of colonial rule that exploited these prejudices. Yet, when once livelihood and poverty drove us to understand and speak with each other better, today our abundance is making us wonder why we should make that effort in the first place. Such a thought process is the beginning of a decline. It is about time we make an effort to talk to each other instead of trying to talk at each other, that too, in a dialect that is seemingly foreign yet perfectly native. 

]]>