#and this cool undead old lady

[zpansvenart]

For @kottkrig have quick doodle! Behold, Barthe-vision of Matron Mother Grandma Lucretia 

NGL... Starting to wonder if this boy’s been hit too many times in the head....

Plz don’t kill me

[see-arcane]

Today’s entry is one of many that really drives home why I can never quite bring myself to get into softer ‘uwu he’s just misunderstood and sexy-liberating’ versions of Dracula. Just. I can’t. I really really can’t.

Up to this point, he’s already had a monstrous moment in bringing the ladies their first on-screen kids meal crying and squirming in its sack. He’s had outright predatory back-to-back moments in imprisoning, coercing, robbing, and getting increasingly threatening and handsy with Jonathan. This, capped with the fact that he plans to kill/drink/gift him to the Undead Girl Gang by the end of June.

‘But what about his, “I too can love,” huh? He’s just loving as best a monster can! He could be tearing everyone around him to ribbons for annoying him, Brides and Jonathan included! Instead he goes out of his way to feed the ladies, albeit gruesomely, and has no retort when they laugh at and insult the lonely old bat. And he isn’t planning to kill Jonathan. He wants to keep him! Sure, it’s a sick version of it, but to him conscripting and collecting Jonathan rather than executing him outright is the height of affection! Surely that’s grounds for some of the more ~romantic~ takes in warped gothic flavor?’

To an extent, yeah. 

But he also just dressed up in Jonathan’s stolen clothes to cover up for the man’s own abduction, imprisonment, and undeadifying, while also increasing the odds of Jonathan already getting mistaken for a vampire, bringing home another child for the ladies to devour, and then ordered a pack of wolves to eat a grieving mother alive for making noise at his gate.

And this? This is just the tip of the iceberg for how downright hellish he gets as the novel progresses. 

Dracula can absolutely be a nuanced character within canon, offshoots, retellings, re-imaginings, and so on. And he should be! He’s a very interesting bastard who’s got so much more going on than a few one-liners and a taste for good cloaks and yummy company. But his actual actions in the book--even the smallest ones--just automatically torpedo 90% of my audience enjoyment when I run into yet another ‘Oh, but he did it all because he was in love!/misunderstood!/depressed!/unfairly maligned by the eeevil human Victorian characters in their journals and newsprint and body count records!’ version of the Count. 

Even sillier takes that try to heroify him for kids like Hotel Transylvania just kind of make my brain trip and fall into a pit of ??? 

‘Look kids, Dracula is really a nice guy and a sweet dad who runs a fun little hotel for his misunderstood Universal Horror monster buddies! Isn’t he neat?’

It leaves me biting my tongue and holding this mental grimace as I think about the sacks full of weeping children, the slaughtered mother, a young man imprisoned for making the mistake of endearing himself so much to a sadistic monster that the latter has decided to keep him as a tortured toy and undead pseudo-slave for eternity, with an entire blood buffet of human cattle still waiting to fill out the rest of the novel with trauma, horror, and death. 

‘Ohhh, but look at Francis’ tragique sweetheart version who stole all his redeeming qualities from Jonathan Harker! Ohhh, but look at the funny silly Adam Sandler cartoon and his new everyman-settling daughter! Ohhh, but look at how #cool and modern-sexyedgy an antihero/villain he is when penned by every projecting director and their grandmother! Lighten up, it’s just a different interpretation!*’

*Of the character whose whole deal is psychological torture, being a predatory creep, casual murder, and worse-than-murder of innocents.

I know it skews me towards being a whiny purist. I know. Let folks have fun. I know. But still, it feels so wrong every time I see someone try to ‘awww, he’s not so bad!’-ify him in new media when. No. He is exactly that bad and probably worse. If he’s not, then that’s not fucking Dracula.

tl;dr: Can people just make some new fun/sexy/antihero vampires instead of stapling Dracula’s name on all of them? Can Dracula just be an interesting villainous monster again?? Please??? (Please save me Renfield 2023 and The Last Voyage of the Demeter, you’re my only ho--)

[quitealotofsodapop]

[Someone jokes that Macaque has developed a mega beer belly and Mac just starts crying cus of hormones. Someone gets punched.]

Was it one of the other SWKs XD ? Either them or Hunstman.

But how would the others (fam and dimensional) react to discovering this particular baby is the reincarnation of the demon that was really close to destroying the world and remaking it in her image? Like, the double take has to be legendary.

Oh it was def Huntsman who made the "beer belly" comment. He has no filter. SWK was the one who punched him, cus of shared hormones with Mac. Then the other spiders smack Huntsy on the back of the head for good measure. Sandy has to physically lift his mans out of there before they try returning him to Diyu with the receipt. Huntsman apologized via hand-woven silk baby blankets.

Whilst the parents knew from the beginning that LBD has reincarnated into their daughter (they were there obs), most of the fam hear about "Yuebei = Reincarnated LBD" from gossip or hearsay. Also the Mayor equally has no filter - he walks straight up to Macaque with an armful of baby shower gifts and waves at his stomach like; "Hello, my lady! Enjoying your new accommodations?". The friends and fam present are like "Lol what?" and SWK and Mac just decide to spill the beans.

The adults are initally freaked out ("So are we talking... fresh slate? Or is she gonna come out with the creepy whispering and bone mechs?"), but once it becomes clear that Yuebei won't have the memories or mind of her previous incarnation, the adults all sigh and just chalk it up to weird reincarnation nonsense. Pigsy expresses how he feels sorry for the kid, as he too reincarnated from a jerk (Zhu Bajie).

The kids freak out a little more. You know already how badly MK and Bai He takes the situation. Nezha ends up being the voice of reason; pointing out tha he himself is a demonic reincarnation and he can't remember squat about who his soul used to inhabit. It takes the kids a lot longer to be cool with the "Baby sister might be the Devil" situation.

As for the Wukongverse? It's a mixed bag. Under read more for spoilers

LMK Shadowpeach: *explaining what happened when they went to Diyu to sort out unrelated undead stuff* LMK!Mac: "So yeah, our unborn daughter is the reincarnation of the Bone Demon that tried to destroy all of the Mortal Realm and remake it in her image." The rest of the SWKs and LEMs: O_O? x_O? HeroIsBack!SWK: "How did that happen??? I thought reincarnation was completely random." LMK!SWK, eating peach chips: "We were planning on more kids. What remained of LBD's soul was sorta hanging around the bridge in Diyu. The gods laughed. Simple really." NewGods!SWK: "And here I thought gods getting reborn as mortals was irony." Reborn!SWK: "I pray that your enemy will be born knowing that they will be loved in this lifetime." LMK!Mac, tearing up: "Aww... thats actually really sweet of you to say-" 2000sCartoon!SWK, interupting: "Because if they turn out to be evil, we wont hesistate to bury them!" :3 LMK!Shadowpeach: *hormonal crying. The other monkeys jump to comfort them* HeroIsBack!LEM, comforting his LMK counterpart: "Annnd you ruined the moment Ganzhe." 2000sCartoon!SWK: "But it's true! We all thought it!" Netflix!SWK: "You don't say it to the parents!" Netflix!LEM: "I think it'd be hilarious if the kid turned out like her old self. Like the 10 Kings saying She's your problem now." NewGods!LEM: "Don't be so sure about that. We don't know what the Bone Demon was like as a kid. Could have been stuff she saw as an adult that messed her up. Either way it's gonna be hard for her to be a villain when she can't even stay awake for more that two hours." Smash SWK & LEM: *weren't even paying attention, they blanked out after the pregnancy talk started* "Wait... whats this about a ghost baby?" "I think one of their kids is like... a shiny pokemon or something" Meihouwang SWK & LEM: *were paying attention, but are very confused* "???"

Its all very frustrating for LMK Shadowpeach.

[dxppercxdxver]

after. four rewatches of headless, two of which were sponsored by dragging my parents into watching it with me, here’s a thought that i thunk.

spoilers below!!!

at least three of the characters (ichabod, matilda, baltus) all have fake books that they store their possessions inside. this makes varying levels of sense for their characters; matilda for the Vibes of spooky witch lady, baltus for keeping his bribery checks a secret, and ichabod for the fact that he’s a people pleaser who probably bought it off matilda to make her happy, but also ties in to a greater theme of the series.

(literally) not judging a book by its cover.

all three of these characters—and more!!—have ulterior agendas that are revealed throughout the series. ichabod isn’t just some dweeb in sleepy hollow by happenstance, he’s a descendant of the storms family, come back to town to right an ancient wrong. he is also a dweeb, but like. a cool dweeb. matilda isn’t just a witch, she’s keeping the undead corpse of her best friend alive with ancient evil magics and covertly working against her new friends. baltus isn’t just the town’s genial mayor, but a cutthroat politician who killed two people in his attempt to kill a third.

similarly, this lends itself to the story’s theme as a whole, that people are far more than what you expect. although this is plain to see in characters like brom (and his babes), who start off as airhead jocks with some pithy social commentary and wind up as airhead jocks with hearts of gold and loyalties as strong as the horseman’s sword, it is exemplified with the character of the horseman herself. so much of headless is about reexamining history and stripping away old biases. everyone believes the horseman is a decapitated hessian soldier, but is actually a woman practically written out of history in favor of her more famous husband. it’s about doing away with commonly accepted narratives and taking a closer look at the stories that accumulated to build the myth we all know today.

the fake books are both windows into the souls of their owners and the soul of the entire story!!! on the outside?? a beheaded hessian!!! on the inside??? a doing away with the ideas of colonialist cis white male-centric historical narratives that get preserved and a doing of justice for the names that get left out!!! it kicks ass!!!!! it kicks so much ass!!!!!

[conditionaljewel]

(Headcanons abound)

Thinking about my disabled mini AU again, and I just think it would be really neat if Laudna had a cane made out of wood from the Sun Tree.

Like in my own little headcanon, I imagine that Chetney makes her a cane using some wood he was allowed to (legally?) obtain from the Sun Tree, and he carved and whittled it so that the cane looked like the Sun Tree’s trunk, and the handle were branches, that would also make it so that when she uses her Form of Dread, the cane becomes part of her. He presents it to her after a battle one evening when he notices she’s limping a lot more than normal and thought maybe it’d help. “I didn’t want to impose but, I couldn’t help but notice you were relying on Imogen a lot to help you walk, so I thought maybe…” She takes it and admires it for what it is, and thanks Chetney for it genuinely. She takes to it hesitantly at first, feeling a hesitation about not wanting to be more visibly different but she does not dispose of or hide it from view. She starts to use it here and there but still clings to Imogen quite more often than normal still.

But then after a few weeks she notices she still isn’t walking right and those pains in her leg aren’t going away, so she starts to use it more and more and falls in love with it. She’s comfortable, she’s walking without pain, and Imogen’s noted that she’s bouncing around their cottage with it like it’s a dance partner now, she’s grown to be so comfortable with it. Not long thereafter, she asks Chetney on one of his visits for just one little adjustment. “Sure, is something wrong, did it break? Oh no, is it too short? Too tall?” And she tells him no, it’s perfect, she just would like one minor, cosmetic addition: a “C-Pop Industries” logo on it, so everyone knows who made her beautiful cane. He sheds a tear in joy and happily engraves his insignia on it.

Then I’m imagining Laudna and Imogen walking around Jrusar going shopping for Zhudanna and themselves (bc even though they now live alone, together, independent of Zhudanna, they still help take care of her as a thanks). Just watching Laudna slinging her cane on her forearm as she and Imogen parse through loaves of bread or bundles of herbs and spices, holding onto Imogen loosely as they stumble-step from booth to booth in the crowds making their purchases where it’s too crowded to step comfortably otherwise.

Then suddenly a little child spies Laudna from a little distance away in the market and is caught staring at her: not because she’s a ghostly pale undead lady holding a pretty purple-haired lady’s hand, but because Laudna is walking with a cane and has a limp just like this little child seems to. So instead of her being afraid, the child “runs” up to Laudna very clumsily with her cane and loudly declares “i like your cane,” as she wave hers at Laudna. And then Laudna would be all cute back and wave hers at the child, “i LOVE yours,” and fuss and make a big deal of it and ask the little girl about it like it was the best cane Laudna ever did see, and the little girl getting absolutely elated and overwhelmed by not feeling so out of place “because she’s not old and she walks like me!”

And then I think about Laudna and Imogen hanging out with Ashton, in their little chronicLu disabled club as the three of them do in secret once a month, and Ashton finally realizes after a long while “wait? That’s from the Sun Tree?!” And then Laudna will Form Of Dread as she holds the cane and tower over him, juuuuust so he could be impressed with how ~cool she looks with it. “That’s fuckin’ awesome.” And they’ll spend the next forty five minutes discussing her cane, his use of his hammer as a walking stick, Imogen’s frequent headaches from the constant buzzing and chatter in her head. Ashton’ll mention having seen someone riding around in an wheelchair that was “also an automaton” in Bassuras — could go way faster than any old wheelchair. “I bet if you did it right you could enter one in the Deathwish, now *that* would be interesting.” And they spent the next forty-five minutes and remaining bottle of wine inventing Murderball for Exandria.

Then Fearne comes over for (girl) dinner one evening. Lots of food and drinks and wine and gossip. Fearne being Fearne, and knowing damn well Laudna needs it, she still tries to swipe the cane anyway because her love language had spread to all of Bells Hells now, and she couldn’t not try. That’s part of the fun. And she nearly gets away with it except that, at the end of the night, perhaps a little too drunk off of Whitestone’s very best wine to offer, she attempts to leave their home by casually just strolling out the door with it under her hand as though it were hers and she walked in with it all along, only to play it off to the girls with a laugh and a “damn” under her breath to Mister. They share a laugh at their doorstep with one last hug, and Laudna says to hear “ask Chet, maybe he’ll make you one.”

Orym visits with Dorian, and of the whole group, they’re the ones who just “seem” the most adjusted when it comes to Laudna in general but certainly to both the girls. Dorian sees her cane for the first time and, being unfamiliar with Whitestone and the history, particularly her history there, he just admires it purely from a craftsmanship and design aspect, essentially complimenting Chet. He calls it “quite a beautiful craft of love for a mobility aid.” He particularly loves the detailing in the bark pattern Chetney had painstakingly added. This makes Laudna smile. Orym, knowing it’s and Laudna’s origins, doubles down on that sentiment and shoots the girls that knowing look with a smile. And then conversations move on, dinner continues.

But then there’s Letters. Poor Letters who just wants to help. He tries to convince Laudna, perhaps a little too aggressively, to get new feet and legs with him, “so we can fix ya! we could ask D or Dancer, maybe Imahara Joe?” But the girls sit them down and explain to him that while Dancer and Joe are unique in their crafts and capabilities, and while Dancer seems happy with her prosthetic, Laudna doesn’t see the need for all that. “I’m quite happy as I am, FCG,” and they explain over some tea and copper bits why some people who are disabled don’t necessarily want or need to be fixed, but it’s okay for those out there who do. Laudna then reassures FCG that she is happy, she doesn’t ~need fixing, and that sometimes people with disabilities and disabled people would just rather have the things they need and the world to be more accessible to get by, rather than any attempts as “fixing” something that they don’t see as broken within themselves.,FCG kind of understands and just says “okay… well, I’ll pray for you.”

I don’t know, disabled!Laudna (and Imogen and Ashton) is/are so important to me and ever since I’ve started to recognize my own disabilities and physical and mental limitations, I’ve just been thinking entirely too much about Laudna using a mobility aid (not even just a cane as presented here) and trying to get myself more confidence to use my cane when I need it rather than continue to suffer.

[unsoundedcomic]

Look, Moli, you were a really cool old lady and I respect your grit. But when faced by an undead abomination that is literally made of pain its really not a good idea to taunt it by saying it can't hurt you. Also, Ruck, you are a jerk. You could have slithered in there to help the cool old lady but instead you apparently thought it was fun to watch instead.

Moli knew she was doomed without her wheelchair and breathing mask. Better to distract the eels from her fleeing sovereign and give them a little extra space to get to safety.

A very minor character, that Tesa Moli, but I'm glad some peeps connected with her. May we all wear such an ugly rictus of defiance on our final day :)

[pink-evilette]

Livid was such a bad movie but the concept was so cool (scary old vampire lady lives in creepy house and needs constant blood transfusions to keep living, her undead mute daughter is kept as a clockwork ballerina to dance for eternity, creepy imagery, taxidermied animal heads on dolls at a tea party etc.) yet it was so boring!! it had a Rule of Rose esque aesthetic and with a better director *cough* Pascal Laugier *cough* it could have made a lot more sense and had better structure (too much time is wasted on the irritating main trio who invade this woman's house)

[echantedtoon]

Blooming Friendships Ch6 The Man In The Moon

It was a quiet night. Except for the chirping of crickets. A gentle breeze swept through the cool air, and stars shone. Even though it was a peaceful night, not everyone was sleeping peacefully. Two eyes were wide awake enjoying the beautiful wonders of nature and all it had to provide to the silent melody of it's mistress the night and all her dark beauty as the world slumbered in her wake. On a normal day it would look so much different. Sunny. Birds singing. The world was filled with the happy screaming of children as they played and couples walked too and from down the paths or having picnics in the sunshine......Or it would have been if this forest wasn't haunted by vengeful ghosts and cursed on top of it. Not that she minded. She loved this forest how it was. If she wasn't living in her own magical hot spot this might've been a good place to live without unwanted attention. Her footsteps only adding to the magical melody taking place from her as they walked along the trees glimmer with dew from that morning fog.. The reflections shining like the stars themselves mirroring walking in some forbidden heaven of the night for them both. The wind blown around her and she shivered rubbing her body against a tree to keep up body heat to not catch a cold. Hopefully it'll work. The light reflected off of her eyes making it seem like they shined brighter than the world around them as she walked about looking past things. The glowing mushrooms and moon above being her only source of light in the darkness as she carried about her. Over her shoulder a bag of magical things like stones, herbs, plants, and other natural magical specialties one could only find right here in this forest. Luckily for her there was plenty to go around.

Subcon Forest was not a place for just anyone to enter and exit as they please. There was a reason these woods had such a feared reputation and was rumored to be haunted. Because it was. By the King Snatcher of Subcon(as he liked to refer to himself) and his ghastly assortment of minions and dwellers behind him as his undead army, anyone who went in NEVER came out which added to the entire terror of it all!!...Well no one except a woman who were currently carrying baskets full of all kinds of cursed plants from within the borders of the ghastly forest that no mere mortal ever dared to come in. ..Besides a select few who had the Ghost King's blessing or who just didn't fear him of course.

"Thank you so much for helping me collect all these ingredients. I swear some times they can be so hard to find. Good thing you know you're way around here huh?," the witch expressed with gratitude as copper eyes smiled over towards the ghost next to her.

Shackles clanked as ever as the crescent headed ghost smiled and placed a hand on his chest. "But of course. I couldn't just let a young lady wonder all by her lonesome here in the dark forest. Snatcher may not see the reason but I refuse to let the one lady who actually keeps me company to be at risk of any danger!"

That earned him a stream of chuckles and a smirk from the witch as she reached out to poke his side. "Oh? What a gentleman.~ Not a lot of woman can say that a ghostly prince walked with them on a moonlit night walk to protect her. If I didn't know better I'd say this was romantic, Moony.~"

The ghost paused letting the words of hers sink in before coughing and looking the other way. "A-Absolutely not! It's o-only right a gentleman escort a lady where she n-needs to go-"

"Relax you old man. I was only teasing you. I really appreciate you helping me find all these herbs. I get lost here so many times it's not funny. Always have to teleport my way out."

"....*ahem* W-Well of course. I'm always happy to lend a helping hand where I can. It's also good to have company for once who I can speak to so easily unlike Snatcher and some other people I know who shall not be named."

She nodded as they continued to walk through the woods. Coming across a small space of abandoned buildings old, worn, and looking like they'd collapse any moment if they even to dare touch them.

"Isn't it getting near morning though? We've been at this for a long time. You might disappear on me into the atmosphere." They passed by a couple of the buildings now. Their voices echoing around the dark buildings and disturbing someone awake in one building.

"Yes. It is. But I would rather stay until I'm forced to leave. I like accompanying you around, and we're nearly to the forest's edge as it is. I'd feel better knowing I can leave you at a safe point-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-"

As a scream pierced the air both jumped at the sound that sliced through the night's fog like a knife. The scream echoing around, sounding young. Vulnerable. Small. And like a-....The sound still ringing loud and clear as they both stood frozen in their places as it continued. Until they eventually looked at one another as the noise continued.

"I say. D-Do you hear that?"

Hazelle nodded. "I most certainly do." With a turn of her head, she looked towards one building in particular and pointed. "It sounds like it's coming from there." And she started walking towards it.

"H-Hazelle!," Moonjumper warned holding out an arm towards her disappearing form. "Wait! It's not safe in these old ruins! That house collapse on you!"

"Then be my protector and follow me!," she called back not stopping and still walking away from him towards the crying noise. "Sounds like someone's lost. We should help them don't you think?"

Moonjumper said nothing as he watched her before sighing and floated off after her. His shackles clanking as he did. Hazelle was able to disappear from sight before him. Walking into one of the abandoned buildings through a whole in the wall's side most likely from decay from all the years it stood abandoned. And slowly he followed her into it. Inside ..had seen better days to put it lightly. The wooden floors and walls were a dark grey or black from years of decay and being exposed to Subcon's cursed magic. The whole place creaking from the wind blowing, speaking of the wind. It definitely flowed through the entire home making an eerily howling noise as it did. Old furniture broken beyond repair and also decaying by how they looked. He slowly floated out of the big room he went through which he must've guessed must've been a living room judging from the decayed shelves and crumbling fireplace. The fireplace a mere pile of crumbling stones by now. The noise that was present when Hazelle entered no longer having stopped soon when he floated in.

"Hazelle?," he called out looking around the place shackles clanking. "Where did you go, My lady?"

"In here!,'' her voiced called out a few rooms away, "You might wanna come here and see this. You're not going to believe it."

She does know she was speaking to a ghost right? He followed her voice past the room to a hallway of sorts where he passed a decaying and absolutely destroyed flight of stairs. Well she can't be up there unless she teleported her way there. Instead he moved past that towards the nearest doorway where he heard the faint sound of-...Sniffling?? Raising a brow, Moonjumper floated right over to the doorway and looked inside. Hazelle was there alright. The witch's back was to him, and the bag of plants and other things she had been carrying left on the floor. With the way her arms were positioned it looked like she might've been holding something in her arms. Hearing the sounds of clanking shackles the witch turned her head to him and smiled seeing him standing there in the doorway. Before turning around completely with that looked like a blanket bundle cradled in her arms. 

"Oh there you are. ...Uh. What is that you're holding?"

"You're not going to believe this."

She beckoned him to come closer with a free hand and as he slowly came in the same sniffling sounds came from inside the blanket. And did that thing just move!? He froze as Hazelle grabbed the edge of the small blanket and pulled it back. And what was inside SHOOK  the ghost. A-A-...A baby....THERE WAS A PECKING LIVING BREATHING BABY IN THAT BLANKET!! But strangely that wasn't the weirdest part. The pale skinned boy sniffled and blinked up at the both of them with big purple eyes and dark black hair. At seeing the witch and ghost looking down at him, his head tilted curiously back at them. But that wasn't what was strange. What WAS strange was the fact that his face..Was COVERED in glowing blue markings that lit up his body in the dark. There was a couple of them. Glowing blue lines. One over his nose, two lines under each of his eyes, two jutting up from his chin, and a peculiar swirl like symbol on his forehead. And all were glowing. Even now he could feel the magical aura filing out from this child in the same way Hazelle's magical essence did. Which meant that whoever this child was...He was certainly special. Moonjumper stared long and hard at the child who now seemed calm being in the arms of Hazelle. Before he pointed to him.

"What....is that?"

"A baby. What ELSE would it be?"

"Y-Yes. I know. But WHY is there a baby here?" He looked around the dark and grim looking room. "And in such a sorry state of a house of all places?'' 

Hazelle shrugged. "I haven't the foggiest idea. You think someone lives here?"

In response to her question Moonjumper gave a careful look around the room. There was ...well nothing here except one or two pieces of old broken furniture. "...Where did you find the baby?" She stepped aside and pointed her free hand down to the absolutely empty corner behind her. THAT empty cold corner in just a blanket? That couldn't be healthy for it. In fact..it doesn't look like anyone's been here for a long time."This house is pretty worn out. Seems like people were living here before Snatcher came in. Or maybe they were still alive when Snatcher arrived and ...you know. He's crazy like that. But no one could possibly be living here. There's no signs of food. No water. Not even a small shelter set up." He looked back down to the baby who nommed on a chubby hand. "And he certainly isn't as old as the rest of the house! Who would leave a defenseless child here!? Unless......" A look of realization struck him as he frowned. "Unless someone left him here on purpose."

....Hazelle shook her head. "I don't know. But maybe he's not abandoned." She waved a finger in front of the baby's face and he latched onto it. "Maybe whoever he belongs to just left him here to get food or something."

"Hm. Possibly. But why not just bring him with them especially in Subcon forest? In fact WHY Subcon Forest? This place is renowned far and wide as extremely dangerous. Unless whoever they were was in big trouble or extremely foolish, I doubt anyone would risk coming in here. More so with an infant!"

"....Well then guess I'll have to wait and find out." Hazelle with that carefully sat down still holding the baby in her arms and sighed leaning her back against the wall to get comfortable. 

Moonjumper rose a brow. "You CAN'T be serious."

"Why not? If whoever it was comes back they might need help. Besides, I can't just leave a baby here. Would you?"

"I-...Well no! But what if whoever it is is dangerous? You could be in big trouble."

"Hey. No big deal. I've dealt with both you and Snatcher before. I can take care of myself. Besides you'll just be forced back into the Horizon any minute now. I'll give them twenty four hours. If they don't come back then, I'll ask Snatcher. Maybe he'll know something we don't."

...Moonjumper sighed. "I sure hope you know what you're doing, Hazelle."

Soon the first rays of light hurt the world and as expected Moojumper dissipated into glitchy cubs disappearing back into the green paranormal world of the Horizon. And Hazelle made herself comfortable just sitting back there leaning against the wall, legs crossed, one hand behind her head, and pushing her hat over her eyes to give them a rest from the sunlight. All the while the baby laid snug against her body. At one point she fell asleep for a few hours having been up the night before but being a light sleeper meant she would've heard someone come in and be up in an instant. ...And no one came. Not when the sun came up. Not when the sun hit noon. Not when the sun set came. And definitely not when night fell. And there Hazelle laid patiently in the same position except now that the baby was asleep in her arm safely without a care in the world. Until that is when the familiar sound of shackles came, and Hazelle pushed her hat up to meet the eyes of Moonjumper who had once again appeared before her being night again. The ghost had stood there staring at them, not really surprised to see the baby still with Hazelle. But he had hoped that whoever was responsible for the little tyke would return to claim the baby and even leave the forest. In had been on his mind all day making his metaphorical stomach sink and his worst thoughts were confirmed as soon as he appeared. His crestfallen face mirroring his thoughts.

"Anything?," he asked even though he already knew the answer.

Frowning Hazelle shook her head no. "No one. Not even a ghost. And I've been sitting here on my butt all day."

"Well judging by how he's been found here, he was probably here for longer than you were. Face it Hazelle. No one's coming back for him."

"Timmy."

Moonjumper blinked. "Pardon?"

"Timmy. His name's Timmy."

"And how do you know that?"

Hazelle answered him by pulling a corner of the blanket up for him to look at and embroidered with dark blue thread into the blanket was letters. T. I. M. M. Y. Timmy. "I found this little clue right here."

"You know that might not even be his real name."

She shrugged before carefully pushing herself off the wall and standing up. "It's the only thing we got going for us right now and it's better than calling him 'it'." Well..she had a point. She reached back over and carefully lifted her bag back up and threw it over her shoulder. "Well I gave them a whole day to show up. Now there's just one person to see if they know anything about this here."

"You don't mean-"

"Snatcher yes. You're free to wait back while I go ask him." She said before beginning to walk out of the abandoned house.

Moonjumper watched as she left just floating there before sighing and floating after her. Might as well see how this played out. Too say it was less than ideal was putting it lightly. It took them a little while to get to said purple ghost's tree house and Snatcher was...Well. Irritated and angry as usual, especially seeing Moonjumper there of all people but luckily it seemed that him being thrown off completely seeing Hazelle holding an infant was enough to spare Moonjumper from his wrath. But it was followed by Snatcher demanding what was going on, them explaining the details to him, and then when they asked-....Snatcher. Knew. Nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Turns out there's no traps or minions of his in that area of the forest being so close to the edge of the forest so even if someone snuck in, Snatcher wouldn't have been alerted to any intruders. So someone could've easily slipped in and out without Snatcher noticing they were even there. He didn't even know the child was even there until he was brought to his attention. Which left them nothing, and Snatcher wasn't any help when he huffed and left them with it.

"Whatever. Just get it out of my forest!"

Tch. Typical reaction of Snatcher's, but what was he expecting from him? Which left now him and Hazelle in the presence of the child without any idea where he came from and most likely abandoned, and no idea what to do with little Timmy apparently.

"What now?," he has asked after a while. "We can't just put him back, and Snatcher's no help as usual."

Hazelle hummed letting the now awake baby nom on the edge of his blanket curiously. "I know. It'd be crueler than leaving him alone in the first place. ...*sigh* It's not uncommon for people who're afraid of magic or who just don't want to deal with it to abandon those children I'm afraid. I guess Timmy's just another one of those people with that sad fate."

Abandoned for something he didn't even know or had done. He knew that feeling all too well. This baby and him were practically parallels having been betrayed by people who were supposed to love you and protect you...Now they were all alone...Or- He looked at the small giggling child. Or WERE they? Hazelle blinked as he reached right over shackles clanking and picked up the baby from her arms and turning to cradle him in his own arms...He couldn't change his own fate, but he could certainly change Timmy.

"Well then it's decided. I shall care for him."

"What?," Hazelle asked raising a brow and placed her free hand on her hip. "You can't be serious."

"And why not? I wouldn't mind the company. And as ghosts don't need sleep I can give him around the clock care. Besides, I...I-I've always wanted a child when I was alive."

Hazelle's expression turned to one of pity before she sighed. "I get that. But DO you know how to take care of a baby? Especially one with magic obviously?"

He stammered. "I- Well...N-No. But Timmy's worth the effort and besides...Maybe you could help?"

"Moony. I didn't sign up to become a replacement mother."

"Oh come now Hazelle. I would be doing most of the work anyways. All I need is some help and someone to teach me please?" He held up the giggling baby to him more with a smile melting on his face. "Besides...This might just be what he needs. A loving home with people who know about magic and won't abandon him. Please?"

The witch stared at the ghost for a long moment as some kind of thoughts whirled about her head before sighing. "Fine! But I hope you know what you're getting into."

A bright and fanged smile speared across the old ghost's face before he looked down to the giggling baby in his arms. "Well little one." He offered a hand towards the baby who cooed and looked at it as a string appeared from his finger tip only to gently wrap itself around his small hand. "I promise as long as your under my protection nothing shall ever happen to you again." The baby giggled at the display before looking back up to the smiling ghost. "I promise."

[undercoverpan]

The Demon's demons

On earth; a different kind of creature ruled the night.

They had cold and sullen skin, practically glowing in the moonlight. They smelled of death, of blood. Their nails were sharp and claw-like by nature, alongside the most powerful set of jaws had by any mammal. The fangs, sharp enough to cut through bone with ease, could retract back into the skull. Their eyes were characterised by their hue of red–, the darker, the more dangerous the creature.

This creature was forbidden to wander into sunlight, lest their skin burn and melt off their bones.

This creature was called a vampire. Vampires were a perpetual cycle of sire - fledgling. Fledgling was a term used for recently turned vampires; Sire was the person who turned them. Among vampire society, however, there were many more terms and titles used. Elders, High Vampire Lords and Ladies, Neonates, all those fun words. All you really need to know is this: There are 7 vampire covens that you really want to join. They're the biggest, oldest, richest and influential of the vampire society.

The covens are called the following; Ignis, Generalis, Praenuntiator, Clepta, Chemicus, Basileus and Medice. 

Juliet Anguis didn't belong to any of the covens.

She was a 22 year old woman with long black hair and pale red eyes. She was small, with brown skin like soil. She had no coven to speak of, among the unlucky few who were abandoned by their Sires. It was fine though, she made do. Even worked with the Council of Vampires, essentially a coven composed of the 7 leaders. 

So how did she end up on Pandora? And coddling her new fledgling–, a boy named Lo'ak?

===========

She was with a small team meant purely for reconnaissance. They ended up stumbling too deep into the forest, got lost, and somehow ended up in Omaticaya territory. She swears on her undead life that she really hadn't meant to come here. 

They ended up being captured by a small, very small group of teens. If she remembers correctly, it was 4 Na'vi and 1 human. She knew them; the children of Jake Sully and the son of Quaritch. They were going to bring them to their clan, but her team managed to overpower them and ran off. During their scuffle, she ended up biting one of the kids–, she surprised them by taking off the mask and tearing out a good chunk in her desperate attempt to escape.

They ran off and made it pretty far until they were found again. One gangly limbed Na'vi knocked into her at full force, wrapping his arms and legs securely around her. She yelped in surprise, so startled at being tackled, until she smelled death and blood on the Na'vi that wasn't there before. Eyes the colour of light corral stared into hers, and immediately she felt a connection. She knew one thing so intimately, so certainly, it terrified her. 

This was her fledgling. Hers. Her boy. Her baby. Her baby? Hers. Yes, yes he's hers. She needs to keep him safe. He must be starving, she should get him food. Wait, no, fledglings are supposed to have their Sires' blood for the first few days, right? So their bond solidifies completely, a claim that couldn't be denied by anyone.

_________

Hiiii so you know the night na'vi clan made by Choco (sorry i cant remember their name right now) and i thought it would be cool if humans also had a race that only came out at night. That's when I remembered vampires!!

Will prob write some more for this au later

She held onto him tightly, distantly registering the sound of others approaching. She pulled him closer to her, electing to ignore the others.

[coentinim]

Can you please have some High Fantasy AU for Innocent, but one with a lot of French folklore undeads, and some Magic the Gathering style of zombies ? Also, for some reason, I can image the undead ressurecting to punish Charles-Henri for butching their execution.

Oh my god I'm not sure I'm qualified to speak on French folklore at all but the Charles idea?? Yes!

In Poland we have the legend of topielec, which is something like a nixie/kelpie, a malicious spirit of a drowned person.

There's a lot of bodies dumped into the Seine for sure. I'm a sucker for divine revenge on a half-guilty half-innocent mortal (my Greek myths phase is to blame), and the spirit has a reputation of drowning people. Mostly an old legend that was prob used to warn children to stay away from unsafe bodies of water, but still.

While the drowned spirits would be Regulus Black's Charles' demise, the land ghosts would be Marie's. The Lady Midday (Południca) is prob the most referenced girl Slavic demon aside from Rusalka, and she's said to bring madness upon those who wander fields by noon. A personified danger of staying in the sun for a long time, a beautiful lady who lures people with her charm (like most female demons do). Marie, the gayest woman alive, would fall victim and go mad.

Apologies for not researching French legends for this one (though the water zombies do appear in western Europe quite a lot). I just thought how heat would represent Marie and the cold Charles, and it would be cool if it was their mythical doom. Just sayin.

[see-arcane]

I think you came close to real issue. Adaptations do not center on Jonathan and always somehow misrepresent him is because majority of male directors-screenwriters, adapting Dracula, associate themselves more not with Jonathan but with Dracula or Van Helsing. And it didn't begin with Coppola. It began with Murnau where his Hutter doesn't kill vampire and can't save his wife but instead it's his wife Ellen who dies to kill vampire. Then it's Browning who made Van Helsing into cool main hero who kills Dracula, while Jonathan is again useless in the movie. It's Fisher who kills Jonathan off at the start of the movie and again makes Van Helsing into cool main hero, who kills Dracula. So by the time 1970s rolled out and romantic versions of Dracula began to heavily pop up, Jonathan as character on screen was already heavily downgraded.

This honestly hits on something that unhappily fascinates me about the whole pattern. Unlike other stories that see adaptation, however classic or modern, I think the Dracula issue is the only one I can think of where a male main character--one of the two married protagonists! the guy who actually opens and closes the entire story! including beheading Dracula himself!--gets so thoroughly watered down, warped, or often just thrown out of the story entirely. Mina's treatment is unfortunately very much expected.

She is LAST GIRL STANDING. She is NOT ICKY SLUT-LUCY WHO LEADS THREE MEN ON EWWW. She is SO INTO HUNKY HE-MAN DARK PRINCE COUNT FUCKULA and doesn't mind the castle harem or the best friend assault or terrorized/deadified husband whatever who cares.

Mina's character-butchering hell is sadly a running theme in a lot of Classics! Now with (Off-Brand Hollywoodified) Feminism (tm)*!

*She is now simultaneously Mom to a bunch of rowdy dumb-boys and the hot anti-villain wants to do the sex with her so bad and it's sooo tempting because hot anti-villain is sooo much more forward-thinking than these icky Victorian guys ha ha

But Jonathan's situation is unique.

Because Jonathan is broken down for parts.

His sweet ingenue gothic heroine time in Castle Dracula is routinely handed over either to a stand-in (Renfield ala the original Dracula movie) or Random Damsel seen on every book and movie and comic book cover. Because you can't have a man in that situation. And if you do, shovel him out of the story immediately once the hetero-sexy part is over with, ala the Brides closing in. Maybe make him an unfaithful piece of shit who is SO down to ditch boring old Mina for the undead harem.

His stamp as a rightful nemesis-turned-badass vampire hunter is stolen and given to Van Helsing, including his kukri, including the defeat and beheading of Dracula.

His devotion and love for Mina to the point of blasphemy and inhumanity is ripped away and given to Dracula to romanticize and sexify him, which in turn defangs the Count himself. 'Ohhh I just did all this evil because I was depressed and looking for my Love~ :'c' rather than him being one of the most insidiously engaging and chilling villains in classic storytelling.

And all of that implies that writers and directors do like the character of Jonathan Harker...so long as he's split into pieces with the husk that once contained all those facets quickly discarded.

Because if they have to portray Jonathan Harker in his totality, with all his kindness, his femininely coded introduction, his trauma after assault, his adoration of Mina beyond human measure, and his ultimate conquering of Dracula the Monster/Abuser (their idolized macho surrogate) then that does something unthinkable.

That portrays men like Jonathan Harker in a heroic light. In a positive light, period. This milksop! This sweet, loving, bookish, preyed-upon, afraid-then-fierce, walking talking knife-swinging wall-crawling middle finger to the whole idea of the fantasy people project onto Dracula (read: Megabadass Immortal Vampire Man who gets Allll the Ladies Who Totally Wanted It/Had that Victorian Slave Leia routine coming~)! We can't put that on screen!

So what happens, happens.

And Jonathan Harker continues to be harvested for parts without ever, ever getting to be all of himself in a retelling. If he shows up at all.

[10piecechickennuggy]

Magic and Secrets, Chapter 2 - Sanji x Witch!OC

WARNING: Mature content ahead!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece or the art featured above. This is a fan-created work featuring an original character.

Read Chapter 1 Here

Bloodied hands scrubbed frantically at the marble floor, tears mixing with soapy water. 

“Please, my Lord! Have mercy!” A slave pleaded to her master.

Misericors Toshinori only scoffed at the pathetic display. “And why should I? It’s not like she’s my daughter.”

Vera continued to scrub, the wounds on her hands stinging. She tried desperately to ignore the conversation happening behind her. Even at six years old, she knew better than to hope for kindness. Not from her stepfather.

“She’s just a child! Give her a chance to live, I beg you!” The woman dropped to her knees, groveling before the white-clad man.

“The illegitimate brat is lucky she’s even allowed to breathe.” Misericors sneered, hatred flowing like venom from his lips. “At the very least I should be able to profit from her continued existence.” 

“Enough of this.” A firm, feminine voice interrupted the slave before she could speak. Praesentia Aenigmatica, the lady of the house, entered the ornately decorated parlor. An air of authority followed the woman. “Stop this wretched babbling and get back to work.” Her eyes crinkled as her attention shifted from the slave to her child, still scrubbing away as if she’d not just had her hands crushed.

Paper rustled as it exchanged hands. Praesentia’s scowl transitioned into a delighted smile upon reading the letter’s contents. “This is splendid, dear. Finally, someone willing to pay our asking price.”

Praesentia moved to exit the room, turning to address the slave who’d been pleading for her daughter’s arranged marriage. “And clean up the whelp. She’s smearing blood on the floor.”

***

“Excuse me, miss. But may I see your panties?” Vera stared at the skeletal hand outstretched toward her. The undead man had made the vulgar request with such decorum that the girl didn't know how to respond. Luckily enough, that decision was made for her almost immediately.

“Ow!” Bone could be heard breaking under Nami’s fist. 

“Cut it out, Brook!” Anger morphed the ginger woman’s face into a monstrous expression. “Go be a perv somewhere else!”

The musician rubbed his afro-clad skull as he scurried away. “Sorry about him. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you!” As if the disturbance had never occurred, Nami’s features returned to a calm smile.

Vera opened her mouth, about to thank the woman for dealing with the offending skeleton when a boy bounded up to her, holding a straw hat firmly against his head. “So you’re a witch?!” The raven haired boy wore a toothy grin that scrunched his face.

Smooth fingers landed on Vera’s shoulder. “The genuine article.” Sanji nodded, lifting a newly-lit cigarette to his lips and inhaling deeply. “I thought a spell caster would make a great addition to the crew. Plus, she’s a trained maid!”

Luffy’s eyes sparkled. “That’s so cool! Join my crew!” He waited with impatience for Vera’s answer.

She shook the cook’s hand off her shoulder and pondered her options. This group was far more eclectic than she’d imagined when Sanji told her they were pirates. The captain was barely an adult and acted more like an impulsive child. Did she really want to swear her loyalty to someone so boisterous?

Sensing her hesitation, a furry creature approached. Vera had to look downward, observing the form of a tanuki. With antlers? And a hat? It spoke in a child-like voice. “If you’re nervous, I can promise you’ll have fun here!”

The girl’s head rotated, her gaze meeting a large window. Trees bent in harsh curves, strong winds forcing them into unnatural positions. A thick haze obscured much of the village, rain falling in quantities so large that only the buildings nearest the hotel could be seen. Had she not ran into Sanji at such an opportune moment, she’d likely be out in this very storm. But thanks to that chance encounter, she was indoors and engaged in a conversation with the potential to alter her life indefinitely.

“Alright.” She nodded to her new captain, deciding an uncertain future was favorable to continuing the past.

“Woohoo!” Luffy raised a fist in the air, exclaiming his excitement. “That’s one more crew member and one step closer to becoming King of the Pirates! Sanji, start cooking so we can celebrate!”

***

Sanji in fact, did not cook upon his captain’s request. Being stuck ashore, away from his kitchen and pantry, the chef had nothing to prepare. Instead, the crew had raided the hotel’s snack bar. A banquet of junk food now spread amongst them, half emptied wrappers and tins littered the hotel room as lively chatter filled the air. 

“And that’s how I took down a kidnapping ring using only a seashell, an empty book of matches, and my trusty slingshot!” Usopp struck a proud pose as his story concluded. The tale had been an obvious fabrication, but entertaining nonetheless. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Zoro dismissed the other man’s excitement, a sake bottle hovering just short of his lips. “You sure your name isn’t really Pinocchio? That nose is long enough for it.”

“What’s a Pinocchio?” Chopper - who Vera later discovered was not a tanuki but actually a reindeer, and the crew’s doctor - asked through a mouthful of cotton candy. 

“He’s calling Usopp a liar.” Robin answered the confused reindeer, her eyes obscured by a book recounting the island’s history.

“What? That story wasn’t true?” The doctor’s innocent eyes bore into his nakama, silently begging for the enrapturing tale he’d just heard to be true. 

A snort brought the group’s attention to their newest crewmate. Vera had been taking a drink, the adorable scene being so out of place amidst a group of criminals that she couldn’t help the laughter now flowing from her drenched lips.

“For you, mademoiselle.” A clean handkerchief was offered to the girl, deep blue orbs seeming to gaze into her soul. She’d come to learn much about the StrawHat Pirates in the few short hours she’d spent with them. For example, the kind chef she’d seemingly been rescued by was actually a chivalrous flirt who pushed the line between simp and pervert on a regular basis.

“Thanks, Sanji. But I got this.” With a wave of her hand, the liquid disappeared. 

“Woah! That was magic, yeah?” Franky, a large cyborg and the crew’s shipwright, pointed to Vera’s now dry form with a cola bottle. Upon receiving a nod, the blue-haired man continued. “What else can you do?”

Vera nervously rolled the hem of her apron between two fingers, looking down toward her lap. “Mostly just small spells like that. All I did was transport the water into a pocket dimension within the astral plane.”

“Is that where the book came from earlier?” 

The girl muttered a quiet affirmative to Sanji’s question, uncomfortable with the number of eyes focused on her.

“You can send things to and from the astral plane?! Just think what you could steal that way! All the berries we’d have!” Nami’s eyes shone with greed, already cooking up a plan and counting the riches it’d bring.

“Or the meat! You’d always have food whenever you wanted!” Luffy joined the navigator in her daydreaming, drool running from his mouth.

“I’d use it for sake!” Zoro joined in, his cheeks already flush from the aforementioned liquor . “Nothing better than a constant supply of good booze!”

“Could you use it to hide dirty magazines?”

“You can do it with books? I’d love to have access to my library wherever we go.”

“Or sweets!”

“What about cola? Barrels of cola!”

“Hey! She isn’t our personal storage!” Sanji cut in, bringing his fellow Strawhats down from their imaginings. 

“There’s a limit on how much I can transport.” Vera spoke softly, her companions barely able to hear the words as they came out. “The bigger something is, the more energy it takes to send or retrieve. And I only have so much energy to use before it gets dangerous.” Her eyes never rose as she informed the group of her limitations. “I can regain energy by eating or sleeping, but I can't really store large amounts.”

“Aww man!” Luffy fell onto his back, disappointment evident in his voice. “I really wanted that meat.”

“Could you not eat a huge meal and then transport something bigger?” Robin had closed her book and held a contemplative expression.

“How brilliant, Robin! Beauty and brains! What a blessing it is to be in the same crew as you!” Sanji held his hands tightly together as his eyes turned to hearts. He then turned to Vera, his enthusiasm unwavering. “And if it’s energy you need then I’ll make sure all your meals are packed full of nutrients! Of course I’d do that regardless. I’d never neglect a gorgeous lady’s nutrition! But I’ll put extra love and effort into yours!”

“Think of it like a glass of water.” Vera began, both surprised and silently delighted that someone actually cared to understand her powers. Before continuing, she held out a hand and whispered something unintelligible. An empty glass appeared which she placed on the ground.

“I’m the glass and my energy is the water.” She turned her palm downward, hovering above the cup’s open mouth. Liquid began to ooze from her skin, dripping down and landing within the vessel. “I can pour water in by sleeping or eating, but the cup stays the same size. So even if I sleep for a week or eat a twelve course meal, the amount of power I can store is limited.” 

At this point, the glass began to overflow. The liquid’s descent abruptly stopped and began flowing in reverse, disappearing upon its return to Vera’s palm. “Plus, I still need energy to live and do normal, non-magic stuff.” When the cup had emptied, cracks began to form along its walls. “So if I try to do something that uses too much power, I could end up hurting myself.”

The glass disappeared as well once Vera had finished her speech and demonstration. Her eyes grew wide and she began to stammer, blurting out a hasty adage. “B-but I wouldn’t mind transporting stuff for you guys! As long as it isn’t too big or anything.”

The witch raised her eyes to meet kind smiles. Nami spoke, her voice soft and genuine. “We get it. Just got a little excited there. But don’t worry. No one here would try to push you too far or force you to do anything.”

***

A bright sunrise glared over the island. Birds sung, nature’s symphony signaling a new day. Tree limbs and shingles littered the streets. The storm had raged through the night, only ending a few hours before dawn. Though damages were evident across the village, no buildings appeared to have suffered structurally.

Vera yawned, stretching her arms into the air. She stood on a balcony, breathing deeply and relishing the petrichor. Her eyes surveyed the island - her home for the better part of a decade - knowing this would be her last chance. 

“Coffee?” She turned to see a sleepy blonde chef, a mug of steaming liquid in each hand.

“Thank you, Sanji.” She took the drink happily, sniffing before taking a sip and humming her delight for the flavor.

The man smiled, coming to rest his elbows onto the railing beside her. “We’ll be leaving once everyone’s awake. Last chance to change your mind.”

Dark bangs tossed as Vera shook her head. “Not much to miss when it was never home to begin with.”

“Oh?” A swirly eyebrow raised. “And where is home?”

Vera turned away, her face hidden from the cook. “Far away. In both distance and time. What about you?”

Sanji took on a wistful expression, his gaze moving to the horizon. “I was born in the North Blue, but grew up in the East. Ever heard of a restaurant called Baratie?”

Memories flashed in the back of Vera’s mind. Cruel parental figures, a contract, and a boy from the North Blue. She shook the memories away, continuing the conversation with her new crewmate.

[girlwonderers]

i had been planning on playing álmos (my thaumaturge) when my group starts up kingmaker in a couple months, but then. the battlecry playtest. anyway now i'm foaming at the mouth over my 600-some-odd year old grizzled veteran commander elf lady who was a knight at lastwall when it fell, and rather than risk traveling all the way across the battlefields of undead she elected to have her squad escort survivors north into ustalav, Which Ended About As You Would Expect (badly). their traveling party was assaulted by werewolves, and the survivors of the initial attack had no way of telling who—if anyone—had been stricken with lycanthropy until the next full moon. so the commander made the decision that they would all stay awake and armed, bound with rope, and try to find some wolfsbane for treating any who turned.

then she woke up the next morning covered in her squadmates' blood, having broken free of her bonds and slaughtered them. she spent the intervening years trying to master her transformations and helping escort lastwall refugees to 'safety' (for relative amounts of safety in ustalav), and staying the hell away from civilization on full moons; now she's trying to redeem herself by offering herself forward as a military and defense commander for the new land charter brevoy is offering.

would be cool if i had a name for her!

[m0thisonfire]

I love Devanii so much. And you’d think because, of course. That’s my oc. Of course I love him.

But no. The real reason is because of the fact I made him a weird little freak. And you’d think then, well of course. Who doesn’t love their little weird freak oc?

Devanii Hellfrost is a dragon. Not just any dragon. The last of his kind. The prince of all dragons within his father’s planet. Not just any prince. An immortal prince. Not just any immortal. An immortal forced to watch his homeworld essentially get eaten by a mad god and undead monsters, leaving him the last survivor. On top of an entire tragic backstory spanning his species’ and mother’s past and what it was like for him maturing.

And despite everything, despite the horrors and trials he endures, he’s still a little goofball who’d stop mid battle, like, “Wait, wait, wait, timeout, I gotta- I said wait, my earth friend is calling- hello?”

Devanii Hellfrost lives on Earth with his own nightclub and underground society, but willingly abides with Human Laws.

He’s an all powerful dragon prince, but yeah, he’ll hold the door open for this person, it’d be rude not to. He’s a heavy drinker who loves his patrons dearly and keeps a safe clubbing environment for his humans. He plays matchmaker if he catches wind people have feelings for the other, and is careful with boundeies. He’s everyone’s cool uncle and protective older brother, and on rare occasions, supportive dad. He’s gay and has a high elf boyfriend he travels space for every weekend. He loves human media and knows all the old vines by heart, and considers it as enjoyable as the ancient knowledge he’s seen throughout the ages. He’s busted monster head and asses to keep humans safe and beat the mad god who tormented him for millennia to protect Earth. He listens to Darude- Sandstorm and Just Dance by Lady Gaga one moment and then plays ‘divorced dad rock’ the next. He has a tumblr and posts memes from 2014 and back for fun.

Devanii Hellfrost is an immortal entity who found earth and humans as a tired teen, and initially went, “Huh. Little weirdos.” Before eventually growing alongside them and went, “Ah yes. My little weirdos.”

And when Devanii eventually aged to a full fledged adult, he decided, “This species helped raise me. This is where I belong, on this weird little planet with these weird little people. And you know what? I’m weird too. And I like that.”

Devanii loves humanity, because in the end, Humanity was the thing that saved him from an eternity of loneliness and bitterness, and gave him a chance at peace and love.

[camelliagwerm]

👻 and Valerius! :D

👻 for a scene when they were scared | a scene from their childhood prompts

He is barely five years old when the Pharasmin Inquisition comes to the manor of House Dragavei for the first time; Mamă cool and composed as she sets aside her embroidery, welcoming them with a polite smile. It doesn't touch her eyes, like it does when she smiles for him, for Tată.

"Esteemed Inquisitors," she begins, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

There's a lot of words he doesn't understand, can't hear properly. Mamă hid him behind the secret servant's door, a curtain drawn across it. Everything is muffled, but he presses his ear against the door. Associations with the Pallid Princess. Past loyalties. Family history. They ask where Tată is. About him too. What about your bastard child?

He doesn't know what that is, but Mamă sounds upset, angry. Not the sort of angry when he bites someone, where she's still smiling, stroking his hair, but the sort where she talks about Străbunică, who's kept alive by Mamă's magic in the family crypt, or the church up in Lepidstadt instead. Are these men from the church in Lepidstadt? Mamă and Tată talk about how much they hate it up there, how it's not safe for them.

"I will not tolerate Valerius being called a bastard. This undead taint is this our family's price for our past mistakes, Inquisitors. I know the Lady of the Graves despises all things undead, but do not bring my son into this conversation again."

Vali trembles when he hears his name. His palms are sweaty, his throat feels tight. His tummy aches, like when he's had too many sweets. Vali slumps down on the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees, rests his head on them. He squeezes his eyes shut, not wanting to hear anymore...

He isn't sure how long he's been hidden behind the servant's door, but when he opens his eyes, Mamă's sweet-smelling perfume and her arms are wrapped around him. Her long fingers stroke through his hair. "I'm sorry, my little love," she coos softly, and he nuzzles into her. "They're gone."

[aikoiya]

LoZ: BotW & TotK - Ideas for Future Games in the Wild Series

I've mentioned before how I would've loved to see the Mogma return as people living in the Depths, but I'd also love to see the return of the Twili, Minish, Yeti, Deku Scrubs, & Skullkids.

Maybe expand the number of sages. Mogma of Earth, Minish of Forest, Yeti of Ice, & Twili of Shadow. If not the Twili, then just make Paya the Shiekah Sage of Shadow like in OoT.

Also, put in emeralds & have them related to the wind. Maybe make the gem blade-shaped like Diamonds & Amber to indicate that, when fused to a hilt, it works like the Eightfold Longsword? Also, it adds +15 to attack.

Also, Light Dragon parts & Diamonds provide Light Damage which is more effective against Dark Enemies such as Gloom & Malice enemies. Also undead enemies.

Onyx for Shadow, which would be effective against Light enemies.

And Sandstone for sand, a.k.a. Earth. Which would be very effective against electricity.

Maybe Moonstone for Twilight which is a merging of Light & Shadow. Since it is part Light, it would also be effective against Dark & undead enemies.

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Maybe even learn that there's a different race of Zora living in the Necluda Sea (maybe ones more like the old versions of the Zora) based off the ones from Termina & the River Zora had no idea. I can see Sidon being eager to make them allies.

And a different race of Goron still living in the Depths of Gorondia. Their look would be inspired by the Luminous Stones in the series.

Like this fanart right here:

Not mine, but it's super cool-looking!

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I'd also love to see the Keaton make a reappearance. If not as a character with riddles or puzzle or side quests, then as just something mentioned in myth & legend. Possibly relating to the Sheikah.

Speaking of myths, it'd be nice to hear about legends regarding diefied characters such as Jabun/Jabu Jabu, Valoo, the Goddess of the Sand, the 3 Golden Goddesses, ect. Also the Minish because they were part of Hyrule's myths too. And a mention about the Kokiri too! Like, again, it doesn't have to be part of the main story, just mentions.

It'd also be cool to see them in environmental storytelling.

I'd also be up for more Ruins of old temples.

Which, BTW, I wish there was more involving the Kakariko Graveyard. In that, I wish there was actually something there. Like, there's nothing! It's so small & I didn't even know that BotW/TotK Kakariko HAD a graveyard until recently when I just sorta stumbled across it in TotK! Like, was it also there in BotW & I just completely missed it??

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Also, just bring back the Helm Splitter, Back Slice, Mortal Draw, & especially the Fatal Blow.

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OOO!! And Darknuts & Iron Knuckles! I think they'd both be great additions to the Wild Series' Beastiary! Especially as enemies with really good ai.

You could even go pretty damn dark with the whole Iron Knuckles possibly being corrupted Gerudo thing.

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Also a footwear slot & accessory slots. Footwear not having any defense, but effecting mobility. Like, you could use it to reintroduce things like the Pegasus Boots as running shoes of sorts, Flippers for swim speed, & Steel Boots for added weight in water. As well as new things like Climbing Boots for climbing. Things like that.

As for accessories, you'd get a crown, earrings, & necklace slot. That way, you can have an Accessory Set Bonus.

Also accessories that increase things like rupee amount. Like a Satori's Blessing Crown, Blupee Earrings, & a Bubbulfrog Necklace which you can get by completing a questchain in Gerudo Town with the Jewelry Lady. Aisha I think?

Also, the Wild Outfit's Set Bonus should be something like increasing item drops "Wild Bounty" for the initial perks & item drop rarity, "Wild Boon" or something for the actual Set Bonus. Because, as Hero of the Wild, BotW & TotK Link goes item farming A LOT. So, why not lean into that?

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Also, I know that I've said it before, but I just wanna reiterate. I would LOVE to see underwater exploration & an actual in-game explanation that old Zora Armor were better. Then they go on a main quest to find a way to upgrade the Zora Armor by maybe going to Tanagar Canyon (where I think the Zora lived for a while during TP) where you discover the ruins of the TP Zora Domain. And there you find murals describing the Twilight War & the Zora's place in it. As well as a tablet in a room hidden behind the throne that describes how to make, like, a magical Kakashi-style fukumen face mask made from frog skin.

Because frogs use their skin to filter oxygen from water. A euryhaline frog like the Rana cancrivora specifically because it can survive in both fresh & salt water. I think I'd call it the Aquaskin Frog or something. It'd just be like any of the other frogs running around in BotW & TotK, just very rare. Like Tireless Frogs.

This art actually is mine & I'm very proud of it!

Anyway, this upgrade would make it so just swimming normally doesn't use up stamina, but, like, dash swimming does & even when you run out of stamina in the water, the mask makes it so you don't drown & you just swim normally to recover stamina like when you stop sprinting on land. Also, when dash swimming, instead of it being in short bursts, it works like dashing on land.

Also, it'd have 2 modes. Surface swimming & underwater swimming & they'd function differently. In order to go from surface swimming to underwater swimming, either you dive from above water or you hit the Dive button while swimming on the surface.

Also, being able to use spears & all Zora weapons in water unless Link's wearing something like the Steel Boots. No other weapon types can be freely used in water. But maybe in order to do so, Link has to train with the Zora to learn how first? As such, fighting underwater has very different animations.

I also like the idea of Link getting a sort of Chain of Return attached to a gauntlet device where he hooks a spear weapon to a chain & he can throw the spear in the water then press a button to drag it back to him.

Could be a feature of the Clawshot in fact!

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Also, bring back special magical equipment & a magic meter like in the old games. Specifically the clawshots & instruments that do special magic songs. And not the magitech "magic through a sciency filter" sort of magic like in the last couple games.

Legit full-on magic with spells.

If the power wheel were to return, I'd have the equipment as part of the power wheel, but do it like the Ratchet & Clank games do their weapon wheel & make it so while in the wheel, you can switch between powers & special equipment by flipping the right stick back & forth.

As a matter of fact, some of the equipment that I'd personally put in there would be whichever instrument is featured, clawshots, a hamaxe (hammer/axe), a shovel, a bow, & maybe a bug net & fishing rod.

Like, you can still just walk up to a bug & catch it, same with fish, but using the net or rod to do so gives you more at one time.

Oo! And maybe due to being able to use spears underwater, it could allow for spearfishing!!

Also, to keep the whole changing weapons thing, you have to upgrade your equipment like in Skyward Sword, which would require you to collect drops.

I might even put in a consumables wheel, half being for food & the other half reserved for elixirs & potions. Elixers can be made by Link, but Potions can only be made by alchemists, hearth mages, or herbalists. Because I really wanna make bottles special again!

Anyway, the wheels would act as a sort of quick select thing for when you're in mid-battle.

At the same time, I kinda wish you could fuse things to the bows too.

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I also really liked how Malanya & weapon fusion was done! So, I'd really like to keep them both.

But, I guess that I'd like to expand on it! BotW had this mod called Second Wind where Link could learn some basic metallurgy & even some weaponsmithing! Which, holy crud, I wish was canon!

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I'd also have more recipes. Especially settlement or species or region specific recipes. And more sidequests involving learning said recipes & teaching it to people or just bringing it to them.

Like, I feel like Lurelin & Goponga Village would make Bouillabaisse. But Lurelin uses Porgy while Goponga uses Bass.

Also, sometimes multiple settlements specialize in the same recipe, but use different ingredients.

Like, Tough Pumpkin recipes originated in Kakariko, but Sunny Pumpkin recipes are unique to Hateno.

Maybe have recipe-seeking questchains?

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Oh my gosh! And do you know what I'd freaking love??? I'd love to see the Gerudo with agriculture!

Like, did you know that so long as you have reliable access to water, you absolutely can grow food I the desert!

A bunch even!

Tomatoes, sweet potatoes, beans, corn, wheat, cucumbers, squash, pumpkins, spinach, cabbage, lettuce, figs, dates, grapes, radishes, carrots, sweet peppers. All these things can be grown in the desert so long as water is available!

There's also a planting method that's supposed to help with this. It's called the straw grid method where you create a sort of fence of straw around a crop & it helps to keep the wind & sand off the base of the plant.

It can even be used to begin a sort of de-desertification process, but it'd take a lot of backbreaking work.

Like, obviously, things can grow there! BotW even had a sidequest where a little Vai named Dalia grew some Wildberries in a lot inside Gerudo Town!

So, it's even possible in-game!

I just... I wanna see the Gerudo thrive! Like, fuck all Ganondoofus' excuses about "the wind bringing death."

Egypt was once the greatest empire on earth & they were situated in the desert! And you know why they were able to thrive there?? Because of the Nile River, which brought them water!

So, wtf aren't the Gerudo at least as powerful as Hyrule???

Also, bring back the equestrian archery from OoT!! Bring back those Gerudo Horses & maybe bring in War Boars & Sheep.

I mean, the Sand Seals are cute, but I want more!

Like, what kind of pets do you think the Gerudo would have?

Personally, I hc Sand Cats, which are both their companions & deadly hunting/tracking buddies.

Also, why the absolute fuck are the little girls wearing crop tops?!?!

Put them in feminine thoubs or something!

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Also, Fierce Deity backstory revealing that Zelda is the reincarnation of Hylia, Ganondorf is Demise's hatred, & Link is the Feirce Deity.

And make the Fierce Deity a god of war, protection, heroes, music, the forge, the moon, & death. A fierce, powerful, & vicious god with a heart as pure as gold, but solemn & melancholic due to the weight of responsibility on his shoulders. (Which actually has some canonical evidence suggesting it might be true, as in Japanese, the Fierce Deity is called a Kishin & the lore behind these figures is interesting to say the least. In fact, the Japanese Kishin are evidently inspired by the Buddhist Pāla.) Maybe he was the one who created the Sheikah in the same way that Hylia created the Hylians? This would suggest that his true name might have "Shei" in it.

I remember reading a fic somewhere where this was a thing & Hylia, Fierce, & Demise were all the children of the 3 Golden Goddesses who created Hyrule.

Demise, son of Din was the first given responsibility to care for Hyrule, but he became an evil being. Next came Fierce (not his actual name), who was the son of Farore & had been a kind, sweet, gentle soul, but in order to protect Hyrule from the evil in the hearts of men left behind by Demise, he had to forge himself into an instrument of war & punish those who commited acts of evil.

At his core, he was still the gentle, sweet boy who loved nature & music that he always was, but now much darker, far more traumatized, & more tired than before. Something happened & then Hylia, daughter of Nayru, was made the new patron deity of Hyrule.

Even after that, Fierce continued to dedicate himself to protecting the innocent, Hyrule, & specifically Hylia. In fact, at one point, he & Hylia were married.

Then, Demise returned to conquer Hyrule for himself. Fierce fought & defeated him, placing the seal upon Demise that we remember from Skyward Sword, but Fierce was gravely injured & had given up his godhood in the hopes of using the Triforce to end Demise once & for all before dying & been reborn as Skyward Sword Link as a result.

It was a really good story!

I can't remember who wrote it.

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Now, while I don't consider Ganondorf being the villain as well as a Gerudo to be racist (as someone has to be the villain), I do think that it would be nice if the games had villains/antagonists from the other races as well. Including Hylian. Like Vaati was a Minish & the original Yiga were Sheikah. Those were both interesting twists!

And I even kinda headcanon that Byrne from Spirit Tracks might've actually been Sheikah.

So, it'd be cool to have some more of that variety so that it's made clear that evil is something that can come from any race.

I mean, we get a good deal of antagonism from a few of the elderly Zora in BotW, though not to the extent of being villains, but it felt a bit too short lived. However, that seems to come back again a bit with Muzu & I'm actually kinda pleased with the fact that he reacted almost instinctively in that way in TotK because that just means that this sort of thinking is probably very ingrained. Which is actually how bigotry tends to work irl.

Which indicates that he has some very ingrained racism despite having admitted that he was wrong last game.

Which, while an awful thing, is realistic! Some people are just gonna be racist assholes & you can't change that! XD

Sure, maybe you were proven wrong, but you've still spent years thinking that way. So, obviously, for a good while, you're first instinct is going to be to think that way again, even if it's a knee-jerk reaction.

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Also, if not the upgraded Zora Armor, then the reintroduction of the magical transformation masks from Majora's Mask, but specifically with the Zora Mask turning Link into the old Zora design which would spark curiosity from the other Zora.

Then, add a Rito Mask & make the Korok Mask turn Link into a Korok. Also, the Deku Scrub Mask.

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Also also, water should hurt Fire-Breath Lizalfos just as much as ice does. And Electric Lizalfos should have an elemental weakness.

Maybe the Earthwake Technique is especially effective against electric enemies.

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Also, why THE EFF can't I pet the dogs or play fetch with them Nintendo?!?!

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Also, I'd give Hyrule more of an alcohol culture, especially Gerudo & Lurelin who'd be famous for their cocktails. I've even made up a bunch of drinks & stuff for them. That, plus some extra fruits & stuff.

For the ingredients you don't recognize, please go to my LoZ Wild Masterlist at the bottom of the page & go to the New Ingredients post under Lore.

Hyrule At Large Alcohols:

Courser Mead (Energizing) = Courser Bee Honey. - Hyrule's most common & cheapest alcohol. Despite how cheap it is, its actually pretty good. Made in Hyrule Castle Town, Mabe Village, Hateno Village, & Ordon Village.

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Kakariko Alcohols:

Umeshu (Sneaky 1-2) = Kakariko Plum (Sneaky), Cane Sugar, Hylian Rice, & Silent Shroom. - An alcohol made in Kakariko from plums. Typically drunk during Kakariko's Hanami Festival. The Silent Shroom is meant to act as the koji that the Japanese use to make their alcohols. Koji being a sort of fungal yeast.

Satori Sake (Hasty 1-2 & Hydrating) = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Hylian Rice, & Rushroom. - Made every spring when the Satori Trees bear fruit. The Rushroom is meant to act as the koji that the Japanese use to make their alcohols. Koji being a sort of fungal yeast.

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Hateno Village Alcohols:

Courser Mead . = Courser Bee Honey. - Hyrule's most common & cheapest alcohol. Despite how cheap it is, its actually pretty good. Made in Hyrule Castle Town, Mabe Village, Hateno Village, & Ordon Village.

Satori Mead (Hasty/Energizing) = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating) & Courser Bee Honey. - A honey wine made from Satori Cherries to be sold at Hanami.

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Terry Town Alcohols:

Satori Liqueur = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Zonai Corn (Mighty), Sugar, & Sundelions. - Made for the Hanami Festival.

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Mabe Village Alcohols:

Courser Mead (Energizing) = Courser Bee Honey. - Hyrule's most common & cheapest alcohol. Despite how cheap it is, its actually pretty good. Made in Hyrule Castle Town, Mabe Village, Hateno Village, & Ordon Village.

Mabe Bourbon (Mighty 1) = Tabantha Wheat & Zonai Corn (Mighty). - A rich, smooth, & citrusy alcohol made with at least 51% Zonai Corn.

Satori Bourbon = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Tabantha Wheat, & Zonai Corn (Mighty). - A bourbon made for the Hanami Festival. Hyrule Castle Town often pairs up with Mabe for it's production.

Mabe Village Cocktails:

Chateau Romani = Lon Lon Milk, Mabe Bourbon (Mighty 1), Akkala Cinnamon (Hasty), Cane Sugar, & Chickaloo Tree Nut. - Named after the eldest daughter of the original owner of Mabe Village's Lon Lon Ranch. A reference to Majora's Mask.

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Deya Village Alcohols:

Deya Moscato (Energizing & Hydrating 3) = Deya Peach (Energizing & Hydrating), Cane Sugar, Sweetvine Grape (Hydrating), & Shock Fruit. - A sweet, fizzy Rosé wine made of delicious peaches & Deya's most famous product. Wonderful when paired with deserts.

Satori Moscato (Hasty 1) = Satori Cherry (Hasty), Cane Sugar, Sweetvine Grape (Hydrating), & Shock Fruit. - A sweet, fizzy wine made of Satori Cherries for the Hanami Festival.

Deya Village Cocktails:

Karina's Blessing Daiquiri (Hearty & Amorous) = Deya Peach (Energizing & Hydrating), Lovely Rose (Mighty & Amorous), Valiant Gladiolus (Mighty & Amorous)/Sweetheart Orchid (Hearty & Amorous), Rama Lama, Deya Moscato (Energizing & Hydrating 3), Cane Sugar, & Ice Fruit. - Made with ingredients from all around southern Hyrule. Made in tribute to the Goddess of Love & Passion. Often served during the evening on Bondsday.

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Tabantha Village Alcohols:

Tabanthan Vodka (Hearty/Spicy 1) = Tabantha Wheat & Hearty Radish or Tundra Potato (Spicy). - Can use either Radishes or Potatoes. Either way, it's a very strong alcohol that'll surely warm you up.

Satori Vodka = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Tabantha Wheat & Hearty Radish or Tundra Potato (Spicy). - A type of Vodka made for Hanami. Rito Village often teams up with Tabantha Village for its production. The Gorons & Shadow Hamlet also make their own version of a Satori Vodka & the first time this happened it was like walking into a party where some other chick is wearing the same dress. They were like, "Well, SOMEONE'S gonna have to change," but all parties involved were too stubborn & now it's a full-blown rivalry.

Tabantha Village Cocktails:

Bloody Hilda = Hylian Tomato, Tabanthan Vodka (Hearty/Spicy), Spicy Pepper, Shock Fruit, & Rock Salt. - A reference to Link Between Worlds.

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Goron City & Shadow Hamlet Alcohols:

Dodongo's Blood (Scorching 1) = Warm Safflina, Hearty Radish, Fire Fruit, & Hylian Rice. - A very, very strong, burning sort of vodka made in the Shadow Hamlet.

Satori Vodka = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Warm Safflina, & Hylian Rice. - Shadow Hamlet's version of cherry vodka. Goron City tends to pair up with Shadow Hamlet for its production. The Ritos & Tabantha Village also make their own version of a Satori Vodka & the first time this happened it was like walking into a party where some other chick is wearing the same dress. They were like, "Well, SOMEONE'S gonna have to change," but all parties involved were too stubborn & now it's a full-blown rivalry.

Goron City & Shadow Hamlet Cocktails:

Cinder Ale (Scorching 2-3) = Fire Fruit, Gleaming Ginger (Sunny), & Dodongo's Blood (Scorching 1). - Favored by Gorons & Shadow Hamletans.

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Zora's Domain & Goponga Village Alcohols:

Cascade Wine (Rapid 1 & Hydrating) = Splash Fruit & Swift Violet. - Wine brewed from Splash Fruit. The Swift Violet doesn't nullify the effects of the Splash Fruit due to the 2 having Effect Synergy.

Satori Wine (Hasty & Hydrating 2) = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Cane Sugar, & Splash Fruit. - A wine made of Satori Cherries for the Hanami Festival. Zora's Domain typically aids Goponga in its production.

Zora's Domain & Goponga Village Cocktails:

Aqua Vita (Rapid 2-3) = Cascade Wine (Rapid 1 & Hydrating), Swiftsail Lavender (Rapid), Cane Sugar, & Splash Fruit. - A sangría made from Cascade Wine from Goponga. Zora absolutely love it!

Aqua Vita Frogría (Rapid 3 & Hydrating) = Ice Fruit, Cascade Wine (Rapid 1 & Hydrating), Swiftsail Lavender (Rapid), Cane Sugar, & Splash Fruit. - A frozen Aqua Vita. Zora absolutely love it, especially in summer!

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Ordon Village Alcohols:

Courser Mead (Energizing) = Courser Bee Honey. - Hyrule's most common & cheapest alcohol. Despite how cheap it is, its actually pretty good. Made in Hyrule Castle Town, Mabe Village, Hateno Village, & Ordon Village.

Ordon Moonshine (Mighty 2) = Zonai Corn (Mighty), Mighty Thistle, Valiant Gladiolus (Mighty & Amorous), & Cane Sugar. - Only available in Ordon & only for residents. Has a very complex flavor profile.

Ordon Whiskey (Mighty 1) - Zonai Corn (Mighty) & Tabantha Wheat. - The most common adult beverage in Ordon.

Satori Whiskey = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating) & Zonai Corn (Mighty). - A whiskey made from Satori Cherries for the Hanami Festival.

Ordon Village Cocktails:

Spiked Apple Cider = Apple, Fall Seasoning, Cane Sugar, Acorn/Chickaloo Tree Nut, & Ordon Whiskey (Mighty 1) - Ordon's favorite fall drink. Beloved & deeply nostalgic. Commonly served at Ordon's Harvest Festival in fall & is a very popular drink all over Hyrule around that time.

Spiked Golden Apple Cider (Mighty 3) =  Golden Apple, Fall Seasoning, Cane Sugar, Farore Hazelnut (Lightningproof), Mighty Thistle/Valiant Gladiolus (Mighty & Amorous), & Ordon Whiskey (Mighty 1). - The best version of Ordon's favorite fall drink. Beloved & deeply nostalgic. Comes in short supply due to how rare Golden Apples are. Commonly served at Ordon's Harvest Festival in fall & is a very popular drink all over Hyrule around that time.

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Gerudo & Ealiyah Town Alcohols:

Ealiyan Spiced Whiskey (Spicy 1) = Tabantha Wheat, Warm Safflina, & Spicy Pepper. -  A warming whiskey made for winter.

Wildberry Wine = Wildberry. - Wine made from the Wildberries of the Gerudo Highlands. A winter drink.

Fudkarràck (Spicy/Chilly/Electric 1) = Any Safflina & Tabantha Wheat. - A Gerudo alcohol brewed from Cool Safflina & Wheat from the Gerudo Highlands.

Màlàkshedeh (Chilly/Icy 1) = Cool Safflina, Desert Queen (Chilly/Icy), & Oasis Honey (Recovery)/Sàbaar Fruit (Recovery). - A very special Gerudo alcohol that is delicious & sweetly spiced. It is inspired by Shedeh, which was the most precious wine in Egypt. Màlàkshedeh was originally only reserved for the Chief's family, but since Riju's decree, other Gerudo are allowed to imbibe it, though only on important holidays. Is very difficult to brew, which was a large contributor to why it was originally so exclusive. While technically any Safflina will work, Cool Safflina is recommended as it doesn't conflict with the Desert Queen.

Sàtrï Shedeh = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating), Warm/Cool Safflina, Oasis Honey (Recovery)/Sàbaar Fruit (Recovery), & Frostbane Blossom (Spicy)/Desert Queen (Chilly). - A precious, springtime, honey spirit brewed for the Hanami Festival. Gerudo Town typically teams up with Ealiyah Town to produce it. They tend to switch between the 2 recipes they use depending on what's most abundant that year. - Inspired by Shedeh, which was the most precious wine in Egypt.

Ealiyah Town Cocktails: (Ealiyans invented the Daiquiri)

Noble Pursuit (Electro 2-3) = Palm Fruit, Hydromelon, Voltfruit, Rock Salt, & Electro Fudkarràck. - The original recipe. Can technically be made with any Fudkarràck, but Electro Fudkarràck is recommended as it doesn't negate the effects of the Shock Fruit.

Shockonana (Stormy/Charged 2-3) = Shock Fruit, Korok Leaf, Cane Sugar, & Electro Fudkarràck. - A relatively new cocktail only made after the Upheaval. A sweet & sour drink with some serious zing & a nice fizz on the tongue. A favorite among young adults. Can technically be made with any Fudkarrack, but Electro Fudkarrack is recommended as it doesn't negate the effects of the Shock Fruit. (A reference to Limonana which is a Middle Eastern mint lemonade.)

Hot Toddy (Energizing) = Ealiyan Spiced Whiskey, Oasis Honey (Recovery), Shock Fruit, Korok Frond, Fall Seasoning, & Zonai Cofégranos (Energizing). - A good drink to start the day with.

Hydromelon Daiquiri (Chilly 3 & Hydrating) = Ice Fruit, Chilly Fudkarràck, Hydromelon, & Splash Fruit (optional). - Made with Ealiyan Gerudo bartending techniques, who are often hired in Gerudo Town to be bartenders & it's absolutely extremely popular in Gerudo Town, especially in midday when it's hottest. Can technically be made with any Fudkarràck, but Chilly Fudkarràck is recommended. The Splash Fruit is both optional & expensive due to it being an import, but it makes for an even better & more effective drink. Very hydrating which is perfect for desert living. Zora love it too!

Spiced Pineapple Shrug (Spicy 2-3 & Hydrating) = Spicy Pepper, Faron Pineapple (Spicy & Hydrating), Gleam Ginger (Sunny), & Spicy Fudkarràck. - Very popular both in the Highlands & the Desert. However, the fact that they need to import the Feron Pineapples from Lurelin means that the drink tends to be more expensive. Tabanthans & Ritos also tend to greatly enjoy it.

Chieftain's Resolve (Stormy/Charged 2) = Shock Fruit, Desert Queen (Chilly/Icy), Rock Salt, Gleam Ginger (Sunny), & Electro Màlàkshedeh. - A very special occasion sort of cocktail meant only for celebrations. Was made in honor of Chief Riju & Sir Link's success against the Gibdos &, later, the Demon King. Electro Malakshedeh is recommended as it doesn't negate the effects of the Shock Fruit.

Sàtrï Slush (Hasty 1) = Ice Fruit, Sàtrï Shedeh, & Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating). - Not very popular in Ealiyah itself, but Ealiyan Gerudo are often hired in Gerudo Town to be bartenders & it's absolutely extremely popular there, especially in midday when it's hottest. Only available during spring.

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Lurelin Alcohols:

Rama Lama = Any Milk & Cane Sugar. - A sort of rich cream rum.

Rama Hua Pāma (Hydrating) = Palm Fruit & Cane Sugar. - A rum made with palm fruit.

Rama Alani (Enduring & Hydrating) = Lurelin Orange (Enduring & Hydrating) & Cane Sugar. - A rum made with oranges.

Rama Paina (Spicy & Hydrating) = Faron Pineapple (Spicy & Hydrating) & Cane Sugar. - A rum made with pineapples.

Rama Satori (Hasty & Hydrating) = Satori Cherry (Hasty & Hydrating) & Cane Sugar. - A rum made of Satori Cherries to be drunk at Hanami.

Lurelin Cocktails:

Dirty Banana = Mighty Banana, Rama Lama, & Zonai Chocolate (Spicy & Amorous). - A cocktail made with Mighty Bananas, & Zonai Chocolate powder steeped in a Cream Rum.

Kalima ʻAlani (Enduring - Half○ & Hydrating 2) = Lurelin Orange (Enduring & Hydrating), any Milk, Rama Alani (Enduring & Hydrating), & Rama Lama. - Sort of an orange cream cocktail. Fantastic just before a hard day's work.

Kalima ʻAlani Daiquiri (Enduring - Full○ & Hydrating) = Ice Fruit, Lurelin Orange (Enduring & Hydrating), any Milk, Rama Alani (Enduring & Hydrating), & Rama Lama. - A frozen Kalima ʻAlani. Fantastic just before a hard day's work. The Ice Fruit are imported from the Gerudo Highlands & Tabantha regions.

Lurelin Sunset (Hydrating 3) = Faron Pineapple (Spicy & Hydrating), Lurelin Orange (Enduring & Hydrating), & Rama Hua Pāma (Hydrating). - Named after the most beautiful view in Hyrule & inspired by a Miami Sunset cocktail.

Paina Colada (Spicy 3 & Hydrating 3) = Palm Fruit, Faron Pineapple (Spicy & Hydrating), Shock Fruit, Ice Fruit, & Rama Hua Pāma/Rama Paina (Spicy & Hydrating). - Just a Piña Colada, but Paina instead because Paina is Hawaiian for pineapple.

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I have the idea that the Shiekah holiday of the Hanami Festival is sort of a Hyrule-wide undertaking. Like, it originated in Kakariko, but it has spread to be a Hyrule-recognized holiday. As such, each village harvests the nearby Satori Tree at the beginning of spring in order to make their own version of a Satori Spirit for the Hanami Festival which takes place over the last 3 days of spring. The best yield is offered up to Satori as thanks for allowing them to use his trees' cherries.

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Also, I'd make it so when at home, you can cook in bulk & have access to more complicates cooking methods. Such as the making of 2nd Tier Ingredients. Meaning ingredients made from other ingredients.

Quite a few 2nd Tier Ingredients would allow you to condense recipes by replacing multiple ingredients with a single one. Thus allowing you more room to work with.

I'd also make it so that the more you cook, the more experienced you become at cooking, thus the more ingredients you can use. Therefore increasing the number of ingredients from 5 to 6, then 7, & eventually 10.

LoZ Wild Masterlist