#and today we’re supposed to work with my younger self

[nonotnolan]

The Great Gym Shift

Day 15 of life after the body swapping incident that affected downtown Washington DC, and life was still weird as shit.  Some people were calling it the Great Shift-- a government cover-up for a science experiment gone wrong.  I don’t think a two mile radius really deserves a “Great” moniker but I had to admit it was catchy.  Others were calling it a terrorist bioweapon meant to cause havoc across the nation’s government.  That did seem possible, but the terrorists had terrible aim if that was the case.

A few people even said it was a plan to put key politicians into younger, healthier bodies, but... I know for a fact that one isn’t true.  I was there at ground zero when the swap occurred, working as a personal trainer at the gym.  All those desirable bodies, mine included, went to some of the most pathetic white collar workers you could imagine.  Whatever happened, it was definitely an accident.

It’s been a month, and I still haven’t gotten used to my reflection.  I hope I never do, to be honest.  The government is working on getting this whole mess resolved, and I can only hope it will be sooner rather than later.  I’ve never had hair this long, and I am in desperate need a of a haircut.  Since it’s not my body, I’d have to fill out a requisition form, and I keep hoping it won’t come to that.  

One of the first things the Government did was send in the National Guard to put everyone affected into a quarantined hotel area, and then they started drowning us in regulations and paperwork.  I’m still working as a personal trainer... only now most of my clients are lazy office drones.  Those desirable bodies I mentioned?  I’m in charge of making sure their new owners keep them in shape.  I’m slowly losing my sanity.

“Mitch!  What in the hell do you think you’re doing?” I said, walking out into our shared kitchen.  Uncle Sam was putting us up in some very nice accommodations, I had to admit, but my clients-turned-roommates left a lot to be desired.

“C’mon Grady, it’s Saturday,” he said, as if that was supposed to be an answer.  I kept starting at him until he continued.  “Saturday is my self-care day, and today that means Netflix and cookies.  I don’t see what the big deal is...”

“Absolutely not,” I said, holding out my hand.  “Give me those, that is way too many calories for one serving.  We’re sharing those with the whole floor.”  He rolled his eyes and sighed at me, but at least he obeyed me.  I can’t help but feel self-conscious bossing all of these men around, especially when they’re large enough to beat me to a pulp if they knew how to leverage their strength.  The real Mitch was a lanky college intern who had no idea how to build or maintain muscle mass.  Russ would’ve had a heart attack if he was here to see even half the things Mitch wanted to do in that body.

As I walked the plate of cookies out to the common area, I couldn’t help but notice that Larry was still sitting at his room’s computer desk, shirtless and surrounded by a few wadded tissues.  Gross, but... I’ve seen Larry’s old body.  I can’t entirely blame the old pervert.  “Please tell me you didn’t stay up all night watching porn again.”

He just smiled at me, his bloodshot eyes telling me everything that I needed to know.  “So what if I did, Grady, it’s Saturday.  The fitness schedule you made for me says I don’t have to work out today, and a sleep schedule isn’t a part of the body cohabitation contract we all signed.  As long as I still eat three healthy meals today, you can’t make me do anything.  So how about giving me some privacy?”  He was right, of course.  Larry was one of my most frustrating clients, because he knew exactly how to do the bare minimum and nothing more.  Tana was one of the gym’s biggest over-achievers, so seeing his body do a complete 180 had been quite the adjustment.

I knew better than to engage with him right now-- better to save my strength for fights that I would be able to win.  I set the cookies down in our shared kitchen, waved at a few of the other guys, and retreated back to the bedroom I shared with one other man.

Simon smiled at me, and I could feel my frustrations starting to lift away.  “Good morning, Grady.  Rough start?” he asked, looking up from his book.  Simon was a licensed psychologist who happened to be at a nearby Industry Convention when the Great Shift happened, and I was so glad to have his assistance dealing with all of the heated emotions that boiled over during the aftermath.  Furthermore, Simon had ended up in my body.  It was a relief to know that my body was being controlled by someone responsible, even if seeing myself each day came with its own set of weird situations.

"You have no idea,” I said, shaking my head.  “Or rather, you have an exact idea, because you’ve also had to deal with those guys.  I don’t suppose you would be up for some... stress release?” I asked, peeling off my tank top and tossing it onto the floor.

He laughed, quickly setting aside his book and his glasses.  “In this body?  Always!”  Was it weird that I was having sex with my own body?  Maybe, but honestly, our daily hookups felt like one of the least weird things about this whole mess.  I always knew I was an attractive man, and I’ve always been attracted to anyone who keeps themselves healthy, regardless of gender.  Presumably that’s how Simon now felt-- I know that ever since I’ve been in this new Twink body, I have only felt attraction for hairy men.  Sexual attraction seemed to follow the body, not the inhabitant.

“Do you ever worry that we’re complicating things?” Simon asked.  “For whenever the government is able to switch everyone back into the right bodies, I mean.  They’ve told our loved ones that we’re in quarantine, but... how can we go back to normal life when this is all over?”  I understood where he was coming from-- his real body was at least twenty years older, and while he didn’t like sharing too much about his life, I’d gotten the impression he had a wife and maybe a few grandkids waiting for him back home.

Simon clearly had a tendency to overthink everything, and I was now used to offering friendly advice while his warm load was still inside of me.  “Honestly, I think we’re dealing with a stressful situation, and we’re all just coping however we can.  There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex.  And I don’t know about you, but... if I didn’t try to get a wide range of experiences inside of this temporary body, I think I’d regret the missed opportunity forever.”

He smiled at me.  “I suppose you’re right,” he said, as he sipped on cheap hotel coffee.  “’In sickness or in health’ wasn’t really meant to cover something so impossible.  And I’d rather seek forgiveness than forever ponder what might have been.”

“Glad to hear it,” I said, smiling back at him.  I think we both knew it was a bit selfish, but how else could we be expected to process these strange new desires?  Yeah, I guess I felt a bit guilty having sex with someone other than my girlfriend back home, but... when else would I ever get an opportunity to have sex with myself?  I don’t think there is a person alive who could blame me.

[mykoreanlove]

to you, lil' kookie

Jungkook felt his senior’s arms strongly around his crouched body, his grip tightening with each inhale of breath. Joon always used to speak to him softly, but today he was even more cautious.

“She is not coming back, Kookie. Okay? She won’t come back.”

Salty tears stained Joon’s shirt, but he didn’t mind. His younger brother was hurt in a way he had never been hurt before. Joon would turn back time if he could. He would go back long before Jungkook met you, long before you could break his heart. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t.

Joon patted his head softly while whispering.

“You are going to be okay, Kookie. You are going to be okay.” Jungkook started sobbing harder, gasping for air as he cried out.

“How? How can I be okay if she doesn’t want me? Tell me how, hyung?”

In the weeks prior his friends tried everything to cheer him up.

Jin took him to a fancy salon to get him a fresh look but all he saw were his sad eyes.

Hobi flew him out to LA to go out dancing with actors and models, but he just stood in the corner watching, too sad to even move.

Jimin tried setting him up with other girls, one more beautiful than the other, but everyone he met reminded him of you.

Yoongi bought every brand of liquor available but even the bitterest taste couldn’t erase the sweetest memory of you.

Taehyung took him out to the peaceful forest to spend some time in solitude, but being alone with his thoughts was even worse.

And Joon? Joon just went straight in – “face your demons and conquer them“, he used to say.

Jungkook stared at the empty, emerald green journal which was gifted to him by his hyung. He scoffed, too annoyed to even try writing about his feelings. How was he even supposed to start? Joon once told him that if love got taken away from us, it’s the small child within us that suffers the most.

“You think you need the other person but what you really need is you.”

Jungkook had no idea where Joon took all his wisdom from. Was he right? Should he give this a try? He clasped his hands above his head, trying to think straight.

“It’s not like there is something else I want to do anyway”, he mustered to himself.

Jungkook opened the black journal and stumbled upon the first page. Joon had left him a little note: “To you, little Kookie.” He smiled wholeheartedly, touched by his friend’s affection for him.

Jungkook scratched the back of his head, unsure how to even begin writing to his younger self. “Don’t overthink it. Just let it flow. This is a safe space for you, Kookie. It needs to be.”

He grabbed a pencil and started writing.

Dear little Kookie,

He scratched what he wrote and shook his head in resistance.

“God, I sound so stupid. Why am I doing this?” He thought back to his conversation with Joon.

“Picture yourself as a little kid if you find it hard to write to yourself. It’s not like you’re writing to a stranger. You are talking to yourself.”

Dear little Kookie,

Dear little Kookie,

Not gonna lie – I feel stupid doing this right now. But if we’re being brutally honest right now, I have felt stupid for quite some time now. It didn’t work out with y/n and I feel devastated. I really wanted her. I really wanted her to want me. But I guess I wasn’t her type after all.

So, she broke my heart, blocked my number and left me like I didn’t matter. My friends tried everything to make me feel better, but they failed. Hyung made me write to you, so I guess this is my last hope. I don’t even know what to say though?

Are you as sad as me?

Jungkook stared at the last sentence, hoping for some kind of interaction. He laughed at himself after realizing what he was doing.

“Who am I, Harry Potter?” He chewed on his pencil for a while before continuing writing.

You are as sad as me, huh? Guess we both feel like shit. I tried everything to run away from feeling like that. Didn’t work.

Is this forever? Can we change? Can we heal? Hyung told me about relationships, you know. He is very smart but sometimes he says things that go way over my head. He said that the most important relationship I have is with you, little Kookie. With me, I suppose.

And I neglected you for a while, didn’t I?

Jungkook interrupted his writings to get himself a drink. Facing his pain was harder than he thought. Yoongi’s brown liquor burned in his throat, but he gladly welcomed another kind of pain for once.

I am sorry, little Kookie. I am sorry that you and I have to go through this. And I’m also sorry that we had to face so much pain in the past, too. Dating is hard, don’t you think?

Loving is even harder. I am sorry for all the trouble I put you through. I never really tended to your wounds, did I? Instead, I waited for someone external to mend them for us. Sorry I neglected you all these years.

He took a deep breath before thinking about you.

Little Kookie, I am sorry for how it went down with y/n. I am sorry that I did everything imaginable to convince her I was worthy of her love while you were dying inside from heartbreak. I tried to give her everything until nothing was left of me.

I am sorry I didn’t notice you. I wasn’t there, I was too occupied with her. Y/N neglected me whilst I neglected you. I should have been here with you. I should have held your hand and reassured you. I am sorry I made you question yourself. I should have let her go and focus on you and me. I should have told you how amazing you are. How great you are. And that you are worthy of love, that you deserve to be loved. If she can’t see that, then it’s her loss.

But I didn’t. I was mean to you – and me. I lay there crying every night, wondering why I wasn’t good enough for her. I tortured myself thinking that she would find someone better than me anyway. And then she did.

I should have chosen you, but I chose her instead. And that backfired.

Jungkook sat silently crying in front of his journal. Joon was right – it felt good to get this off his chest, even if the pain was bittersweet.

“You can go on and paint her as the villain or you could use your energy on you, Kookie. Don’t you think you’re finally worth your own attention for once?”

Jungkook let his head fall back in exhaustion, thinking of all the ways he had mistreated himself. He thought back to all those moments in which he behaved like a person without a backbone, or self respect. Like a wolf starved of love he would have taken anything from you, too weak to even realize how poisonous you were.“

“I used to ask her why she didn’t want me. Why didn’t she love me? Why did she only use me? Was that all I was good for? Is this all I’m ever going to be?”

He gulped harder, holding back tears.

“All this time I felt like worthless shit. And so did little Kookie. I tried so hard for her to love me so I could finally feel whole again. I can only imagine how little Kookie must have felt.”

Shame accompanied by disgust clouded his body.

“I have made a complete fool out of myself by begging her to love me. How pathetic is that? I chased someone who didn’t want me. For months I let her play me like a fiddle. Why did I do that? Why did I do that to us?”

Soon, his feelings of self-attack merged into something greater – a hunger for healing.

Little Kookie, I don’t know what the future will hold for us, but I promise you I will be better. And I will make you proud. I won’t rely on someone else to make us feel whole again.

Or loved. I can love you for the both of us. I have no idea how I’m going to do this but I’m sure hyung will help me. Can you forgive me?

He hugged himself tightly, squeezing his arms in response to the sadness he was feeling.

“Hyung was right. Even if it takes time, I will be alright again. Me and little Kookie will be alright this time. We have to be.”

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

Another Adventure from the Bakery!

(A.k.a. my workplace😹)

So, today’s Sunday which means… the Young Alfie look-like was on duty! And I as well, having taken over a shift from a colleague.

In other words, it was us and another colleague.

And, for the life of me

I COULD NOT GET A SINGLE WORD OUT NOR CONCENTRATE🙀

Now, this might also be due to being underweight and a massive introverted air-head who’s practically made her L2 her L1 and thus is a social mess whenever she has to speak Dutch. Doesn’t help I don’t know him all too well because we haven’t worked together that often (yet, I hope).

Quick side note: L2 = second language, L1 = native language.

*claps* Now, we apparently worked together until closing even though he was supposed to go home earlier. He’s working extra to save up money for his holiday, but the fact he stayed longer after I confessed to him the closing shifts make me kinda anxious and he took the extra stock on him after me bitching about it to my other colleague has me kinda delusional. Look, there’s no way he’d remember I told him I get stressed out or that he heard me from the back with the Bluetooth speaker on full volume and fully focused on the bakery’s set-up.

But, hey, I’m gone with the fairies when it comes to him.🫠

Anyway, the one time I did manage to get a sentence out smoothly, he responded playfully. We’re polar opposites. I’m quiet and introverted (despite my other colleagues claiming otherwise) and he’s very outgoing and seems to get on with literally anyone.

Which created a melancholy thought, one that comes storming in the one moment I’m grounded in reality.

He’d never fall for a girl like me.

If anything; the best I can hope for is that he sees me either as a friend or, if I’m really pushing my luck, a younger sister.

Until then, I’m here, wrapped in self-hatred.

Tongue-tied.

Speechless.

Buried beneath a chaos of words.

[leonstamatis]

these are really good questions so I’m going to throw a ton at you, feel free to choose which of them you actually want to answer

2, 7, 20, 40, 47, 65, 81, 93!

yeah!! i actually really love these questions i think they're great. good list. thank you hedge <3

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

oh this happens to me plenty. i tend to have very detailed outlines as a rule, so there's not a lot that catches me off-guard in terms of plot. but actually there's a wip i've got going right now where the first scene is, currently, 3.2k and counting -- which is absolutely fucking unheard of for me, a person who doesn't write scenes over 2k if i can help it. but the characters involved just kind of grabbed me by the shoulders and said, there's still things to say and do here, it's not time to move on yet. it does tend to happen the most in terms of length of the overall fic; the recent d&d movie fic i did was supposed to be a five times fic, and it is... aggressively longer than that.

7. tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

when i was in first grade, i wrote a story about the flowerpuff girls. like the powerpuff girls, but they were flowers, instead. i think this is hysterical, because it's very much in line with my interests today. i didn't know that was fanfic though; if we're talking about my first intentional fanfic attempt, i used to post self-insert naruto fanfic on quizilla, a sentence that ages me significantly every time i type it.

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

i don't tend to set out to write tropes, actually, so this is hard to answer. part of me wants to say mutual pining, but in terms of classically written tropes, i don't think i've ever really... done that? i've been doing a lot of found family and nontraditional platonic friendships, though, so probably that.

40. best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

someone made the comment to me once that reading my fic was like walking through exhibits at a museum. i think of that often and i hold it very close to my heart.

47. what story are you most proud of?

forcing myself to answer this one a second time. i am really proud of killing the minotaur, largely because it provided the motivation to start working on other projects again and to stop caring as much about getting things wrong. it isn't perfect. but it's good.

65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written? 

reciprocity!! i've been saving that title for literal years and i just. was so pleased and delighted to finally have a reason to use it. es my beloved.

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

"it doesn't have to be perfect, it can just get done." this is a battle i fight with myself almost every time i write, and it always has been. i think i used to be better about just posting whatever, but there's always been some amount of "it has to be exactly what's in my head to be worth it," which isn't true or fair to do to myself.

93. do you hear other people’s writing styles when they talk?

sometimes! there are certainly friends where i can pick up on things they write that they also tend to say a lot in real life. i do have to know someone pretty well to do it, though.

[quibbs126]

Okay, so I had a random idea for some Evoland 2 thing while I was out today. I do that sometimes, make up random scenarios that could happen in game (but don’t). So like, it’d happen during the game

Anyways, so basically it was an idea for a way to actually see Demonia

We’re told we need this thing or other that was in Demonia (it isn’t really important, just an excuse for this storyline to happen), and so we go to Present Demonia Ruins to get whatever we need. Menos and Velvet leave, as they do when we’re here (I set it here because I need Menos not to be there), and while we’re exploring, we come across this place where there’s another special Magilith, since those exist. We use it, and the pair end up in a new time period, 100 years from the Present, aka about 899, in an actually thriving Demonia

Excuse for the special Magilith? Well this is where the Molecular Research Center once was, maybe they wanted to have their own secret Magilith here or something. Justify it however you like

When I was thinking about it, I came to the snag of the graphics change, since every time period has a different one. Made more difficult because it’s supposed to be in between the Magi era and Past era, so it has to be higher quality than Magi, aka GameBoy, and Past, which is…something else, I think 16 bit? Anyways, I thought this put me in a big conundrum, until I came to the big solution: GameBoy Color. Have the graphics be the same as it normally is in the two Eras (since they have the same ones, just different amounts of color), with there being colors but only a limited color palette. In my mind, it’s like the coloring in the Gen 2 Pokémon games. I felt really smart when I thought of that. But yeah, that’s what we’re using 

So yeah, Fina and Kuro end up in this new time period, and they go around the capital, meeting people and trying to find that item. If you don’t want to do too much work in this new era (as well as just for time and limited characters), have it just be like, a big puzzle/side quest thing around town to get it. And also we aren’t allowed to leave the capital for whatever reason. What we do doesn’t really matter, it’s more about experiencing this place, at least for me

There is the problem of the group current being two Humans in the Demon capital, but this is also decades before the Great War, so maybe they’re a bit more open minded in this era and more lenient. I mean one of the guys in the Demon Camp said he used to have a Human friend, and he’s only 60, so it doesn’t seem too unreasonable

One more thing here (and the main reason I don’t include Menos in the main group), somewhere during this point, we end up meeting a younger version of Menos. I’m gonna say around Kuro and Fina’s age of teenager/young adult. I’m not too sure how Demon aging works, but that feels about right, with him being 50 years younger here. To ensure we don’t have too much timey-wimey shenanigans of Menos’ past self having met Menos, meaning he would have met us before the game, let’s say we don’t see him for that long. Like, he’s only there for a brief segment, like meeting us once, or we see a scene with him but he doesn’t meet us. Or even maybe he briefly helps us out, but not for too long. Enough so that we see him, but not long enough that we’d leave a big impression on him to clearly remember us 50 years later. Maybe after this section when we meet back up, Menos recalls having met two odd Humans once in the Capital but not really remembering them well, and maybe he starts to realize that it was indeed us because he knows time travel exists now, but it’s nothing much

We’d probably get a different main guy from this era that we interact with, probably in order to get that item we need, and Menos is just a cameo

But yeah, we get the thing we need here, we go back through the Magilith, Fina probably says something at the end about she feels even more sorry now for the Demons and what fate befalls them, as well as empathizing with Menos more, and we end this section

I don’t really know where in the timeline it’d fall, but let’s say after you get the Frangment of Earth, you can do this section. Since that’s the Demonia section

Like I’ve stated, it’s just an excuse to see Demonia before it got destroyed and such, as well as see a younger Menos just because I want to. I just think it’d be neat

I get that realistically, something like this probably wouldn’t happen in the game, given that the developers would have to make an entire new era and graphic style just for this one, relatively unimportant and small section. Yeah the Magi era you only need to visit once, but it’s part of the main story and has plenty of lore significance, as well as some foreshadowing of the ending. And again, it’s entirely superfluous in the grand scheme of this and easily cuttable, but I think it’d be neat

If I ever end up actually learning how to make games, at least in some way, maybe one of the first things I’d do is this little fan made extra sections for Evoland 2 (since this isn’t the only one I’ve made up). You know, like the Earthbound Halloween Hack or other romhack games. It’d be neat

[lenbryant]

(Times) Art Isn’t Supposed to Make You Comfortable

By Jen Silverman

Mx. Silverman is a playwright and the author, most recently, of the novel “There’s Going to Be Trouble.”

When I was in college, I came across “The Sea and Poison,” a 1950s novel by Shusaku Endo. It tells the story of a doctor in postwar Japan who, as an intern years earlier, participated in a vivisection experiment on an American prisoner. Endo’s lens on the story is not the easiest one, ethically speaking; he doesn’t dwell on the suffering of the victim. Instead, he chooses to explore a more unsettling element: the humanity of the perpetrators.

When I say “humanity” I mean their confusion, self-justifications and willingness to lie to themselves. Atrocity doesn’t just come out of evil, Endo was saying, it emerges from self-interest, timidity, apathy and the desire for status. His novel showed me how, in the right crucible of social pressures, I, too, might delude myself into making a choice from which an atrocity results. Perhaps this is why the book has haunted me for nearly two decades, such that I’ve read it multiple times.

I was reminded of that novel at 2 o’clock in the morning recently as I scrolled through a social media account dedicated to collecting angry reader reviews. My attention was caught by someone named Nathan, whose take on “Paradise Lost” was: “Milton was a fascist turd.” But it was another reader, Ryan, who reeled me in with his response to John Updike’s “Rabbit, Run”: “This book made me oppose free speech.” From there, I hit the bank of “Lolita” reviews: Readers were appalled, frustrated, infuriated. What a disgusting man! How could Vladimir Nabokov have been permitted to write this book? Who let authors write such immoral, perverse characters anyway?

I was cackling as I scrolled but soon a realization struck me. Here on my screen was the distillation of a peculiar American illness: namely, that we have a profound and dangerous inclination to confuse art with moral instruction, and vice versa.

As someone who was born in the States but partially raised in a series of other countries, I’ve always found the sheer uncompromising force of American morality to be mesmerizing and terrifying. Despite our plurality of influences and beliefs, our national character seems inescapably informed by an Old Testament relationship to the notions of good and evil. This powerful construct infuses everything from our advertising campaigns to our political ones — and has now filtered into, and shifted, the function of our artistic works.

Sign up for the Opinion Today newsletter  Get expert analysis of the news and a guide to the big ideas shaping the world every weekday morning. 

Maybe it’s because our political discourse swings between deranged and abhorrent on a daily basis and we would like to combat our feelings of powerlessness by insisting on moral simplicity in the stories we tell and receive. Or maybe it’s because many of the transgressions that flew under the radar in previous generations — acts of misogyny, racism and homophobia; abuses of power both macro and micro — are now being called out directly. We’re so intoxicated by openly naming these ills that we have begun operating under the misconception that to acknowledge each other’s complexity, in our communities as well as in our art, is to condone each other’s cruelties.

When I work with younger writers, I am frequently amazed by how quickly peer feedback sessions turn into a process of identifying which characters did or said insensitive things. Sometimes the writers rush to defend the character, but often they apologize shamefacedly for their own blind spot, and the discussion swerves into how to fix the morals of the piece. The suggestion that the values of a character can be neither the values of the writer nor the entire point of the piece seems more and more surprising — and apt to trigger discomfort.

While I typically share the progressive political views of my students, I’m troubled by their concern for righteousness over complexity. They do not want to be seen representing any values they do not personally hold. The result is that, in a moment in which our world has never felt so fast-changing and bewildering, our stories are getting simpler, less nuanced and less able to engage with the realities through which we’re living.

I can’t blame younger writers for believing that it is their job to convey a strenuously correct public morality. This same expectation filters into all the modes in which I work: novels, theater, TV and film. The demands of Internet Nathan and Internet Ryan — and the anxieties of my mentees — are not so different from those of the industry gatekeepers who work in the no-man’s land between art and money and whose job it is to strip stories of anything that could be ethically murky.

I have worked in TV writers’ rooms where “likability notes” came from on high as soon as a complex character was on the page — particularly when the character was female. Concern about her likability was most often a concern about her morals: Could she be perceived as promiscuous? Selfish? Aggressive? Was she a bad girlfriend or a bad wife? How quickly could she be rehabilitated into a model citizen for the viewers?

TV is not alone in this. A director I’m working with recently pitched our screenplay to a studio. When the executives passed, they told our team it was because the characters were too morally ambiguous and they’d been tasked with seeking material wherein the lesson was clear, so as not to unsettle their customer base. What they did not say, but did not need to, is that in the absence of adequate federal arts funding, American art is tied to the marketplace. Money is tight, and many corporations do not want to pay for stories that viewers might object to if they can buy something that plays blandly in the background of our lives.

But what art offers us is crucial precisely because it is not a bland backdrop or a platform for simple directives. Our books, plays, films and TV shows can do the most for us when they don’t serve as moral instruction manuals but allow us to glimpse our own hidden capacities, the slippery social contracts inside which we function, and the contradictions we all contain.

We need more narratives that tell us the truth about how complex our world is. We need stories that help us name and accept paradoxes, not ones that erase or ignore them. After all, our experience of living in communities with one another is often much more fluid and changeable than it is rigidly black and white. We have the audiences that we cultivate, and the more we cultivate audiences who believe that the job of art is to instruct instead of investigate, to judge instead of question, to seek easy clarity instead of holding multiple uncertainties, the more we will find ourselves inside a culture defined by rigidity, knee-jerk judgments and incuriosity. In our hair-trigger world of condemnation, division and isolation, art — not moralizing — has never been more crucial.

[jumblejen]

We Were Always Going to End Up Together - Ch 20

Suptober 22, Day 20: Spa Day

On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/114094975

(Or read from the beginning: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/106051008)

“Dude, this was such a good idea!” squealed Charlie as they waited outside by Baby. Eileen was supposed to meet them any minute now.

“It was, wasn’t it? Gotta say, did not see a spa day from Eileen coming as a holiday gift.”

“I’m just glad you weren’t weird about it.”

“What? I mean, sure, it’s a little strange that it’s me and you and Eileen, but everything she put in that package thingy sounded nice.”

“Even the mud masks?”

“I heard they are soothing and make your skin look ten years younger,” Dean said primly. “What’s to be weird about?”

Eileen walked up to them, smiling broadly. Dean gave Eileen a big hug, resisting the urge to pick her up while he did it. She was small enough that he’s always had to fight the impulse. She’d probably kick his ass if he tried to though.

Charlie and Eileen also hugged, but it was a little more restrained. They’d been gradually getting closer in the last few months, but were nowhere near as comfortable with each other as Dean was with each of them. He hoped today would help change that. He loved when his favorite people all got along. At the very least, a spa day sounded like a welcome change to the cold monotony of mid-January.

It didn’t take long for the three of them to be out of their regular clothes and into plush robes, their faces coated with the promised mud, feet soaking in bubbling footbaths. They’d all declined coverings for their eyes so that they could still talk with Eileen.

“I could get used to this,” sighed Dean as a staff member handed him a mug of steaming honey-lemon water.

“Me too,” agreed Charlie. “Thanks for inviting me along,” she said to Eileen.

“I thought it would be good to get together just us.”

“Mmmm,” said Dean. “Not complaining about that.”

They sat in silence enjoying their pampering for a few minutes.

“How’s work going Dean?” asked Charlie. “Adler still your favoritest boss ever?”

“Ha ha. He’s being his usual Adler self. I swear he would have withheld my bonus if he could’ve come up with a way to wiggle out of the contract.”

“Are you still enjoying the work?” asked Eileen.

Dean sighed. “Not as much as I used to. Used to be I got a lot more variation in what I had to do. More challenging projects type stuff instead of just data entry. Last few months has been pretty boring. And Adler seems to think he can make whatever ridiculous demands on me and I won’t do anything about it.”

“Are you thinking about doing something about it?” Charlie was much more serious asking that question.

Dean hesitated. He wouldn’t have said anything if Sam were here, but Eileen’s always been more on his side. Hasn’t she? He decided to chance being totally honest. “I’m not sure. I don’t like how much he’s trying to nickel and dime everyone. And there’s been rumbling about upping the amount of monitoring we’re all going to have.

“That sounds less than ideal,” added Charlie dryly.

“Yeah there’s that. And Adler keeps talking about big things for me and how if I just put in extra hours I’ll see all sorts of benefits.”

“But that’s good, isn’t it?”

“Only if he isn’t just blowing smoke. Say I work a ton of extra hours, that I don’t get paid extra for, by the way. What’s to say he actually comes through with these benefits?“

“What type of benefits is he talking about?” asked Eileen.

Dean barked a laugh. “Oh he hasn’t said a damn thing about any specifics. No numbers. No quantifying what kind of extra hours he has in mind. Just vague comments about being a team player.”

Eileen and Charlie both wore identical skeptical looks. Eileen looked at Dean. “That doesn’t sound very promising.”

“I know,” said Dean. “And maybe six months ago I might’ve been interested in more hours just to see what came out of it, but I don’t see an upside right now. Especially now that I have Cas. More work for the same money, plus I can’t see my boyfriend as often? Sounds like a sucker’s bet.”

“Are you going to look for something else?” asked Eileen.

 “I dunno. Getting Adler out of my life sounds like a great idea. But doing this, just somewhere else? Not sure it matters. The work will still be the same.”

“You don’t know that…” started Charlie when Eileen interrupted.

“What about the garage?”

“What?” asked Dean in surprise.

“I heard Bobby talking at Christmas. He was talking about you towing that woman’s car at Thanksgiving.”

Dean blushed a little. “Not sure why everyone thinks that story is all that interesting.”

“Bobby was more complaining about how he wished you’d come back and work for him full time again. Might be a good change for you.”

“Yeah, he said something about that at the time.” Dean paused for a second, before deciding to ask what he really wanted to know. “Did uh, Sam hear him say that?”

“He was in the other room.”

Charlie looked between Eileen and Dean. “What does Sam have to do with it?”

“You know how he is,” said Dean.

“I know he gets a little weird about your job.”

“Not just weird,” cut in Dean. “He wanted me to make something of my life, and I got that degree and everything. And I did it, and it’s been going pretty well. He wouldn’t want me to throw all that away.”

“How is working for Bobby throwing anything away?” asked Charlie incredulously.

“Sam can be a little…rigid in how he sees the world,” said Eileen.

Dean snorted. That was an understatement.

“But you shouldn’t care what he thinks so much,” she added firmly.

“He’s my brother.”

“He’s not always right.” Eileen smiled at Dean a little sadly.

Dean was no longer as relaxed as he had been before the topic of his employment had come up. Wouldn’t it be a waste for him to trade in his white collar for a blue one? Sure, he’d worked for Bobby for quite a few years part time, on top of school and other jobs to help make ends meet. And then to help pay off school for him and Sam, and his dad’s bullshit. He’d spent all that time and money getting his life banged into shape. But…the idea was tantalizing.

Thankfully the topic was dropped as Eileen and Charlie began discussing what color they wanted to have their toes painted. Dean was happy to chime in on that, saying that he wanted something dark red, almost black. They both tried to argue Dean into a lighter color, but he’d been mesmerized by the idea, and was sticking to it. The women were both leaning towards sunnier colors to combat the wintry weather. Then the conversation moved onto other topics, such as the new movies they were excited to see in the coming year and Charlie trying to convince Dean that he should have an epic birthday party at the Roadhouse.

While Dean was fully enjoying the pampering and the talking, the idea of quitting his job to go work for Bobby full time never really left him, though every time he tried to imagine what that would be like he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. Adler wasn’t so bad, and Dean was pretty good at what he did. The job paid well enough too. Maybe he should just focus on being grateful that his life had ended up in such a comfortable place.

[bongscholar420]

very scared for therapy today

[thebattleofstarcourt]

Eddie Munson Request!

I a sucker for the opposites attract trope, and I just imagine Eddie with his grunge hard metal self, having a super frilly girlfriend, you know how when high school boys walk around with their girlfriend’s scrunchies on their wrist, kind of a sign of claiming the dude? Imagine Eddie with a frilly pink scrunchy or something! How would he react to it being given to him, or how would hellfire react as well!! Hope you like the request! Can’t wait for you possibly writing this out because I love your writing style, literally counting the hours for you Eddie POV later on today!!

a/n: omg i am so sorry for just now seeing this but in my defense i have worked doubles 2 days in a row and im slowly dying inside! anyways i LUV this rq and thank u thank u thank u for ur kind words it fr means the world. (i acc just finished writing this n i'm alr starting a second part so . kudos to u and ur big brain)

this is fem!reader btw

(part 2)

look, they were trying to pay attention, they really were. it was just kind of hard to focus on hearing eddie’s insane new campaign idea while he had a baby pink scrunchie on his wrist.

it was just so jarring. not because he was a dude wearing a pink scrunchie because god knows none of them – especially eddie munson of all people – care about the rigid cage that is gender roles. it was because it was eddie that was wearing it.

eddie, in all his black skinny jeans, metalhead glory, was willingly choosing to disrupt the cohesion of his style – one they thought to be so carefully curated – for a frily, pink chiffon scrunchie.

i mean, he has long hair. they assumed, silently, of course. (being the friends that mike, dustin, and lucas are, they’ve gained the ability to communicate solely through their shared looks – and morse code, occasionally).

it’s not like he’s above picking up the easiest-to-steal looking thing and stuffing it in his pocket at the store. so it’s not like it means anything, right?

“what the fuck, guys?” the topic of unspoken discussion said, raising his hands in the air. “why’re you acting so weird? i thought you’d piss your pants at this campaign.”

“no, the campaign’s awesome, man.” dustin said.

“totally awesome.” lucas agreed.

“so why are you three acting like someone drew a dick on my face?” eddie asked, then proceeded to pull at his cheeks, accentuating the scrunchie even more. “no one did, right?”

“no, you’re good,” dustin said. “i think we’re just a bit… distracted, that’s all!”

“distracted by your fake girlfriends in idaho?” eddie joked, laughing to himself while the younger boys scowled.

“el lives in california and she’s real.”

“you’ve literally met max – ”

“that’s beside the point!” dustin interrupted. in reality, he would’ve been offended too if last summer hadn’t already desensitized him to the no-one-believing-you-have-a-girlfriend thing. “we were just curious about that thing on your wrist.” he pointed, squaring down at the scrunchie in question.

“this ol’ thing?” eddie pulled on it, snapping it against his wrist. “t’was a gift.”

“from who? the tooth fairy?” erica said, causing her older brother and the band of freshmen to immediately shush her. 

“on the contrary, lady applejack.” he said. “it was a gift from my lover. one from this realm of reality, no less.”

“lover?” lucas asked.

“it means girlfriend, lucas.”

“i know what it fucking means, asshole.”

“why’d you have bring that up?” gareth sighed, “now he’s gonna spend the next thirty minutes gushing – ”

“who’s got the fake girlfriend now, munson?” mike taunted. clearing.

“nah, she’s real,” jeff said. “you guys just never met her ‘cause she graduated when she was supposed to.”

eddie kicked jeff’s leg under the table while the boys gaped.

“you, eddie munson, have a girlfriend –”

“you know i can kick you out of hellfire, right, sinclair?”

“i’m not saying that is unbelievable that you have a girlfriend.” dustin defended. “it’s just, ya’know, i would never imagine you with someone like… that”

“like what?” he challenged. even though it was mostly a façade and he didn’t actually care what three fifteen-year-olds think about his romantic endeavors.

“like, one that gives her boyfriend pink scrunchies!” he said, turning to mike. “i mean, nancy doesn’t even do shit like that. that’s, like, the type of shit that jock’s girlfriends do to mark their territory!”

“well, i hate to break it to ya’ kid, but my girl’s got territory to mark.” eddie smirked, twirling the scrunchie around with his fingers. “you wouldn’t imagine the type of offers i get from girls who want free weed and a di –”

“if you finish that sentence i’m reporting you to the police for child endangerment.” erica said, silencing the entire table in one fell swoop. well, almost all of the table, sans jeff and gareth who were hiding their laughs behind their hands. because unlike the freshman, they knew exactly what kind of sap eddie was. and that was one who would do anything his girlfriend tells him to, from wearing her girly little scrunchie around school to committing arson, probably.

“applejack is right,” eddie said. “this is not a conversation for your innocent little minds. let’s pick up where we left off!”

“wait, i still have questions –”

“ask me when you still don’t have a baby face, henderson.”

“i meant about your girlfriend!” he huffed. “like i’d take any of that kind of information from you.”

“hey, it’s either me or harrington.” he defended, “and from what i heard, you don’t wanna take any from him.”

luckily for him, that imagery got the boys disturbed enough to finish the rest of their session in peace, with them only speaking up when they got distracted enough to forget what they were talking about before. at nine on the dot, eddie called the night, and began packing up, the rest of the club shuffling out one by one. 

“i thought you said she was coming home on sunday?” jeff asked once the freshmen were out of ear shot.

“she came back early.” eddie smiled. “she got on the train right after class and showed up at three in the fuckin’ morning. when i saw her out of my window, i thought i got too high and started hallucinating.”

“that’s awesome, man.” gareth said, patting him on the back. “you should tell her to come to hellfire while she’s back for break.”

“oh, she’s definitely coming,” eddie grinned. “gonna shut those little assholes up for good.”

[chezzywezzy]

Yandere Miles Fairchild (2/4)

Word count ; 4.0k

*TW : sexual assault & abuse implications.

*Edited:3

I turned the oven knob, a fire immediately starting under the stove panel. I watched in a tired gaze, setting the pan on top. The French toast would take a while. Usually, Mrs. Grose insisted that I take care of the mundane chores of sweeping and mopping the most commonly used rooms, but she seemed rather on edge today. I could tell Miles attitude was getting on her nerves. As dedicated as she was to her job and as firm as her belief was of not criticizing her bosses; I assumed she wanted to get some distance from the children.

Sometimes, I still see her. My mother, I mean. Sometimes, when I stirred the batter, I envisioned her hands guiding mine, frail and wrinkled from a hard life. I could envision her manning the pan beside me, insisting that she didn’t want me to get overwhelmed.

I took this as a blessing. Instead of being peeved that I’d have to pay attention to what I was doing; I decided that I could pay Miles back for his kindness by serving a delicious breakfast. In a separate pan I started cooking up some scrambled eggs.

It was as though I became shorter. But, I couldn’t help but get lost in the fantasy. I abandoned the pan, too short to be able to see the contents. My mother, with color in her cheeks still, stood beside me. She was focusing on the cooking with a pleasant, hopeful smile gracing her beautiful face.

She looked down at me fondly. “Remember, Y/n. This is good for us. We’re free from daddy now and that’s a good thing, okay? But now that we’re here, you’ll have to start learning how to cook and clean. We’re not living here for free, you know. We’re working for the Fairchilds now.”

I pouted, crossing my arms sternly. “You’re wrong, mommy. I miss daddy and daddy misses us. I - I don’t get why you’ve taken me away from him!”

My mother frowned, turning her attention back to the pan. “…You’ll understand soon, my love. Daddy was a bad person. You should forget about him. We’ll be just fine without him.”

I stomped my foot stubbornly. “No! We’re slaves now because you made a stupid, stupid decision! At least with daddy, I don’t have to do stupid ch - chores! I want to be with daddy, not you!”

My mother’s face turned beat red. Her thin figure tensed and her jaw clenched. “Y/n, be a good girl, now. The Fairchilds have welcomed us into their home and you can’t be causing a scene —"

“No, no, no!” I shrieked, kicking the oven. “I want to go home, mommy! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

Angrily, my mother reached for me, but I turned tail and ran. My mother couldn’t abandon her post, so she watched me disappear desperately. Tears clouded my younger self’s vision as I dashed down the empty halls. I ran past a stressed out and unsympathetic, but also much younger, Mrs. Grose. She made a grab for me, but wasn’t fast enough. 

I somehow ended up outside. I sat down on the stone steps, sobbing loudly and pathetically. I wanted nothing more at the time than for my daddy to drive up in his shitty cigarette and beer-stained car and take me away from the lavish prison. After all, in my five-year-old mind, daddy had done no wrong. The situation we were previously in was normal.

Now that I as an adult, my memories were repressed completely. All I knew was one fact: the situation we were in was wrong and bad. But how was young, innocent me supposed to know that?

Foot steps thudded behind me. I raised my head and wiped my tears, still sniffing furiously. I assumed that it would be my mother, agreeing that we should go home. However, when I peered over my shoulder, the weird-looking boy that was apparently my age was standing there, regarding me with annoyance.

I glared furiously at five-year-old Miles. He still. Maintained the bushy hair that he had as an adult, a style he never grew out of. He was pudgier, too, having yet to start his growth spurts. He crossed his arms and glared right back.

“You cry too much!” he declared indignantly.

I had yet to develop my wit, so in turn, I started crying again. Except this time, even harder. I turned away, completely bawling my eyes out. I heard the boy gasp in surprise. I’m not sure what he would’ve expected as a response, but it certainly wasn’t that.

I buried my face in my knees, hearing him continuously telling me to stop crying so much. You’d think he’d have learned after the first time, but he didn’t. That is, until he fell quiet, and so did I. My nose was dripping with snot as he plopped down beside me.

I shyly raised my head. He looked like he felt bad, a sympathetic frown etched into his features. He couldn’t meet my scrutinizing gaze, instead fiddling with his fingers. “F - Fine! I don’t mean it like that. I mean that you shouldn’t cry so much because this is your new home! You should be grateful mommy and daddy are letting you stay here!”

“But I don’t want to be here,” I huffed, his arrogant attitude getting on my younger self’s nerves. With time, it was something that I would get used to.

Miles looked confused. “Why wouldn’t you? You’re just a peasant! Now, you’re in a big house with everything in the world!”

“But I miss my daddy!” I wailed, wishing for someone to understand my desires, even if it was some snobby brat.

Miles frown deepened. He tensed. “…Oh. Well, is he dead?”

“No. Mommy just left him to come here.”

“Then why don’t you go see him?”

“Mommy says he’s bad and evil and I can’t.”

“…Oh. That’s sad.”

Miles fell silent and raised his arm, boldly pulling me in for a side hug. I continued to sniffle, but the comfort was greatly appreciated. For my younger self, a hug and some listening ears was all I really needed to heal.

I zoned back into the kitchen. I gasped, realizing I had zoned out for too long and the eggs were burned. I scooped the French toast, too, plating it. It was too late now to replace the eggs because breakfast was starting in five minutes. This would have to do.

I trashed the eggs and, in a rush, arranged the table. Mrs. Grose was nowhere to be found, probably helping Flora get ready for the day. I hypothesized that if it wasn’t for her and her strict schedules, both of the children’s lives would be an uncoordinated mess. So, for that, I thanked her.

Just as Flora and Mrs. Grose entered, I sat down the last plate. I let out a huff of relief. After all, Mrs. Grose’s strictness was a double-edged sword. 

“Good morning, Y/n!”

“Good morning, dearest Flora,” I replied, sending a smile her way. “Shall we eat? Where’s Miles?”

Mrs. Grose sighed. “He’s still sleeping. You know the boy and his temper. It’s best to let I’m sleep.”

I gulped. “I’m sure I could drag him out of bed, though.”

“My dear, you very may will try,” Mrs. Grose stated sarcastically. “But I highly doubt you’ll return with nothing but your tail behind your legs. I’m not sure why you intend to disrupt his sleep.”

Flora allowed me to excuse myself. I could hear Mrs. Grose loosening up for the sake of entertaining the young girl as I left. Even the old woman wasn’t immune to her charms. I ventured upstairs and passed my room. Next to mine was his, of course. I raised my hand and almost knocked, but decided to enter instead.

Miles was hardly present. He was so bundled up in his blankets that only tufts of his hair emerged from the burrito. Some pillows were strewn on the floor - which I was sure I’d have to pick up later - and since his return, his room was just generally a mess. 

I sighed quietly, hovering over him. “Miles,” I chimed,” it’s time to wake up.”

He didn’t stir. If anything, his snores became louder. I reached to where I hypothesized his shoulders would be and shook vigorously. “Miles! Seriously, breakfast is ready.”

The boy groaned, rolling to the other side of the bed. His leg sticked out, as he’d already wrapped himself in the rest of the blankets. I clicked my tongue and reached over, grabbing his bare foot. I yanked gently on it, repeating what I’d said before. He tried kicking free, but that only allowed his leg's to emerge, and I could grab both of them.

Miles let out a frustrated scream, which was muffled by his pillow. I couldn’t help but laugh at his childish behavior, and soon, he was laughing too, his movements ceasing. His head finally peaked out from the pillows and he gazed at me tiredly. 

“Why-y-y? Mrs. Grose makes the same thing every day. Why today?”

I giggled, letting go of his leg's. I stood up straightened and flattened my skirt out. “Because I made breakfast and it’s your favorite. French toast. You better come quick or Flora will eat it all.”

Miles rolled back to his previous position. “Can we compromise?” His voice was muffled from the blanket, and I returned to my previous spot stoically.

“What compromise, Miles?”

His arm shoved away some of the blankets, and out came an arm a bare arm. I was momentarily distracted by how toned, even with his thinness, it was, and how pronounced his collarbone was. A smirk dawned on his face, his grogginess having abandoned him.

“I’ll get out of bed and eat breakfast if you give me a good morning kiss.” Awkwardly, he tried propping himself  on his elbow. Perhaps it would’ve been attractive, if not for the heaping blankets covering the rest of his body.

Still, my heart raced and my cheeks flushed. “Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

I walked and leaned over, trying to pay my racing heart no mind. Miles paused expectantly, with a shit-eating grin. I pressed my lips to his cheek, and as soon as I did that, I pulled away. I was embarrassed enough as it was, so I didn’t want to give my - technically - boss the wrong idea.

Miles hummed in satisfaction, officially sitting up and throwing the covers off him. My face flushed even further as I realized he had only plaid pajama pants on and no shirt. It’s not as though I wasn’t used to seeing him this way, but perhaps the context made me even more flustered. He seemed amused by my reaction, or lack thereof.

“Like what you see?”

“In your dreams, Miles. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

And with that, I turned tail and left him to his own business.

~~~

Miles lowered his hand to me, and I took it eagerly. The sun was shining and the air was warm, but not too warm to be considered insufferable. A few weeks had passed since his return, and it was like he brought spring with him. That meant that on this fine weekend, I had more free time. Mrs. Grose wasn’t that horrible. And although I planned to spend the day to catch up on my studies, Miles burst into my room mid-afternoon and proposed we go horse riding.

So, here I was, sitting in front of him on his favorite horse. The horse was stiff with others, but with us two, we were regarded as friends. Even though Miles was rather stern with the poor beast, it acknowledged us as the rightful co-owners nonetheless. 

Miles wrapped his arm around my waist and plopped his head on my shoulder. I didn’t have to look to know he was grinning ear to ear. I cleared my way through and grabbed the rein. I sent the horse onward, and we emerged from the stable onto the grassy and somewhat unkempt lawn.

We hadn’t hired another permanent grounds keeper since Quint.

 We rode across, the wind kissing our faces. Soon, we turned to the gravel road. The trees lined it and gave us shade from the beating sun. The horse was quick and new the path well, thus not needing much direction. No words were exchanged between us, and none needed to be.

I slowed the horse down as we turned to the side, where our resident fountain slash koi pond resided. The horse whinnied as we pulled up and the horse came to a halt knowingly. Miles didn’t remove his hands from my waist, instead clutching each side tightly as he aided in hoisting my leg over. I used the step to hop down, my legs feeling wobbly from the short ride.

I offered Miles my hand and he eagerly took it, even though he probably didn’t need it. Miles had more free time than I ever have, so he was much more skilled at horse riding. Miles didn’t let go of my hand when he was off, though, instead intertwining our fingers. I didn’t object, and for some reason, my heart was set aflame.

“I know I was only away for, like, a month, but I really missed this little pond,” Miles mused as he pulled me to sit at the edge.

“So does Flora,” I remarked. “You know how she is. When you aren’t here, she rarely visits, even though she loves seeing the koi fish.” Silence fell between us as I stared into the water. The fish were slow, seemingly in a habit in circling around the entire fountain aimlessly. “…Now that I think about it, why didn’t Flora accompany us?”

Miles shrugged, not removing his gaze from the pond. “I, uh, just wanted a little getaway with you. Is there something wrong with that?”

“Oh! Uh, no. Not at all.” For some reason, his words caused a blush to rise to my face, which I quickly admonished. I had no idea why I’d been feeling differently toward Miles ever since his return. He was always… flirty and affectionate. And yet, it never had such effects on me.

“Good,” was all he said in return. 

He dipped his finger into the water, startling some of the fish. However, he made circles in the water mindlessly, and I watched him do so.

The scenery around us was completely quiet, minus the calm breeze and the distant… clapping? I picked my head up in confusion. Miles, noticing my alertness, listened, too. We both rose to our feet and examined our surroundings. He thought first to circle the fountain, and that quickly solved the mystery of what th hell the sound was.

I let out a small gasp as I noticed the bleeding fish on the ground. Its guts were almost entirely spilled out on the stones, and yet, it was still flopping around. Miles stared blankly at it, and I grabbed his arm.

“Isn’t that Flora’s favorite fish? Oh, dear.”

“She says every fish is her favorite,” Miles replied. “I’m sure she won’t miss this one.”

He tore his arm away and went over to the fish. He grimly raised his heel and brought it down on the fish. I let out a squeal of fright as more blood splattered across the ground. He repeated the process several times. And I could do nothing but watch in horror.

He… did it with such ease. He didn’t even bat an eye. 

And it wasn’t like what he did was wrong, it was just off-putting how he went about it.

He looked bored as he turned back to me, his faux brow leather boots stained with the fish’s blood. He notices my unease and tilted his head, quirking a brow. “What? It’s better to put it out of its suffering, right?”

“…Right. It’s just… I’m definitely going to be the one who’ll have to hand wash your shoes later.”

“Oh! I guess blood is pretty gross, so I can take care of it,” he insisted, a smile breaking out onto his face.

I shook my head stubbornly. “It’s my job, Miles. Don’t… don’t worry about it, okay? Can we just head back now? I have school work and I’d rather not remain at an active murder scene.”

Miles snickered and nodded in agreement. On the ride back, I let him drive the horse. I could smell the smugness off of him. He probably liked having me cling to him, since he was just that kind of flirty.

~~~

I had just finished putting Flora to bed. Today, she was extra difficult to wind down, so it took another half hour to convince her to sleep. But what was important was that I was here now, standing in my bathroom and getting ready for bed. Recently, I had been plagued by dreams of Peter Quint and advances from Miles. It made life even more exhausting than it had to me.

I brushed my hair absent-mindlessly, not wanting to stare at my own reflection. Over the years, I’d grown to dislike it. Each time, there was something I didn’t like about the person I saw. And although I knew it was wrong to push problems aside, it worked for the moment.

I set the brush down and prepared my toothbrush. I ran water over it and scrubbed the inside of my mouth. I was feeling especially dirty and didn’t want the invisible hands to dirty me further. I lowered my head and spit into the sink and rinsed my mouth. I also washed my face.

I raised my head, accidentally staring myself down in the mirror. But that was all it took to wisp me away into a fantasy. Instead of my older, more ragged face, I was met with a younger version of me. Not too much younger, but young enough to be noticeable. Despite that, my eyes held no innocence and light, and darkness clouded my eyes.

I clenched the sink as tears sprouted from my eyes from even looking at myself. I was disgusting. Dirty. All of my dreams and hopes had been crushed by him and him alone. He called it so trivial and casual, only a ‘bit of fun.’ And yet, it weighed on my shoulders indefinitely. 

I heard something real behind me. My bedroom door, most likely. I didn’t move, though, almost as though my body knew what was to come.

Slowly, the bathroom door opened behind me. And although I was clothed, I’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed. It was from the anticipation of what was to come and my inability to stop it.

And then there he was, leering at me from the mirror. Peter Quint, with that damned grin that used to be so friendly and kind, was leering at me excitedly. As he pushed the door open further with his grimy hands, I realized he’d already been rid of his shirt and his very hairy and portly upper half was exposed.

“You don’t think I’d let you get away there, did you, Y/n?” he chortled, standing menacingly in the doorway. “But I suppose this game of cat and mouse only makes you more attractive.”

I clenched my fists and lowered my head, unable to stare at my reflection with him looming behind me. Tears continued to flow, dropping into the marble sink. And though it would become but a memory, I could feel his body heat as he pressed up against me and his callous hands pawed greedily at my waist and chest. It felt like as he held me close, my body was imploding in on itself.

Or, at least, I wanted it to.

“Why so quiet, little mouse?” he huskily whispered in my ear, his breath fanning over my flesh. “We both know where this’ll end up.”

“Please, Peter,” I begged,” Leave.”

He grabbed my jaw and painfully twisted my head to face him. He was still grinning ear to ear. “Aw, don’t worry, mouse. There’s no shame in this. Nobody will find out.”

In a panic, I began pounding at his bare chest. He just shoved me back into the counter. I was completely trapped and he held my wrists together, leaving me only to tremble in his grasp. What scared me the most was how his expression never changed. He was always smiling. He didn’t feel an ounce of guilt.

“Come on, mouse,” he cooed. “What we have here is love and you know it. You don’t need to deny it. You love me. Nobody is going to find out about this, do you hear me? And right now, I’m really craving a round two.”

I tried turning away, but he placed a sloppy, drooling kiss against my lips. I squinted my eyes shut, tasting mix of blood and salt on my tongue. When he pulled away and he realized I had gone quiet with submission, he let go of my wrists and face.

And so, I screamed, even though his hand covered my mouth before a sound could escape. I was left screaming silently, too numb to protest.

A hand touched my shoulder and I jolted. I blinked, but standing behind me was only Miles. He looked so very worried. I would be, too, because perhaps I had screamed. But, most noticeably, my eyes were red and bloodshot and a waterfall was still streaming down my face. I lowered my head in shame.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Miles fretted, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me from the sink. I allowed him to turn me toward him, but I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment. He pulled at my hands, and I was forced to meet his beautiful blue eyes.

He continued to shush me gently as his thumbs picked up my tears and discarded them. He cupped my cheeks, and despite the panic I was formerly in, his presence and care calmed me. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, but for a different reason now.

“I - I’m sorry,” I choked. “I thought I was over it all, but it’s like I - I’m going insane —"

“No, Y/n, you’re not,” he comforted, his hands ghosting across my body before pulling me into a warm, secure hug. “You’re safe now. This is your home. I’m your home.”

“I know, and I’m sorry —"

“Y/n, it’s okay!” he insisted, raising his voice just enough to silence my fears. “I’m here for you. Always. You know this. You’ll be okay. I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

My heart melted and all my anxieties washed away. I clutched his back as he began to distance himself just enough so that he could pull me over to the bed. He grabbed my shoulders and ushered me to sit down. He stood still and watched as I tucked myself in. 

He turned, but I grabbed his wrist. He looked at me expectantly. “Please, Miles, stay with me. I just want to sleep well.”

He chuckled lightly. “I wasn’t leaving, Y/n. I was turning off the lights.”

I glanced and released him, pulling my knees to my chest. I watched his shadowy figure even as the room was flooded with darkness. The man went to the other side and crawled in. I wanted to turn and cuddle into him out of disparity. I longed for his warmth. But, he beat me to it, wrapping his arms around me tightly and burying his head in the back of my neck.

Tranquility. That was all I felt. My body felt like it was dancing in the clouds as I drifted off the sleep. I almost didn’t catch the muffled statement Miles muttered against my neck.

“…I love you.”

[xoxo-teddybear]

You Have Me - Bakugou Katsuki

Dad!Bakugou x Babysitter!reader

Warnings: Dad!Bakugou, Fingering, 18+, Cursing, pining, cheating, daddy kink (cuz duh)

Request: Dad Bakugou in love with his babysitter. She’s younger than him but still over legal drinking age and Bakugou is not too old. I just wanna see how he’d go about this whole situation ESPECIALLY if he was already married.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“F-Faster Katsuki!” You said as Bakugou pounded into you on the kitchen island.

“Shit baby...fuck, you like that shit? Like how daddy fucks your sweet cunt?” He teased as he hit your cervix. “You gonna give me another brat? Huh? C’mon Teddy Bear I know you can do it~”

His hand traveled to your clit as he toyed with your pretty pussy. Your legs shook as he worked his magic and you clenched around his cock.

“Ohh~ ‘M gonna cum!” You cried out. Your hands clawed at Katsuki’s back as he sucked his teeth in due to the stimulating pleasure.

“Do it. Cream all over my cock baby.” You obeyed his every command as you did what you were told and spilled all over him. Your orgasm didn’t stop him as he continued to ram into you. He sped up as he chased his own release and threw his head back.

“F-Fuck! Fuck baby,” he leaned down close to your face as he used his hand to grab your chin. “I love you. You fuckin’ understand me?” He said and brought a smack to your ass. “I love you Y/N.”

His voice grew whiny as his thrust became sloppy. You both were a moaning mess until Katsuki met his climax and filled you with his release. Right as he came, his lips met yours for a rough and passionate kiss that you both desperately moaned into. He continued to slowly thrust into you to push his cum deeper inside your womb as you tugged at his hair. Your lips finally separated as Katsuki stopped his thrusts. He rested his forehead against yours as you both held heavy breaths. He grinned at your dazed eyes and grew excited. He was sure he done enough to get you pregnant. He saw your soft, angelic features and listened carefully as you began to speak.

“Katsuki...it’s time to wake up.” You said with a smile.

“Huh?” Bakugou said in confusion as he lifted his face away from yours. You sat up and shoved his shoulder as your voice began to fade out.

“Wake up! ....Wake up Katsuki. Katsuki! ....Katsuki!”

—

“Katsuki! Wake up!”

The 25 year old man had his eyes shot open as he flinched the slightest bit. He awoke to his bitch of a wife smacking his upper body to get him to come to.

“Ugh, the hell do you want?” He groaned as he layed back down in bed.

“I want you to get out of bed! We’re supposed to be going to Aki’s party today! You owe me since you didn’t want to buy me those heels!” She complained. Bakugou rolled his eyes at the gold digger and shooed her away with his hand.

“Go by your damn self. I have a meeting today. I’m not going to one of your shitty friend’s stupid ass parties. And also, I don’t owe you shit. I’m not dropping three grand on a pair of heels for some bitch.” He said with his eyes still shut. He heard his wife gasp at his insults and he could already imagine her dropped jaw.

“Excuse me, but I’m not some bitch. I’m your wife-“

“Who’s a bitch.” Bakugou interrupted. He opened his piercing, crimson eyes as he watched her tilt her head to the ceiling and crossed her arms.

“Hmph! Fine then! I’ll go by myself!” She said and marched out the room and out the house. Bakugou groaned as he rolled onto his back and threw his arms over his eyes.

“Good. That’s what I wanted. Stupid bitch.” He said to no one in particular. He sighed as he held on to the memory of the sweet dream he was having before his wife had interrupted. The sweet dream of him completely indulging himself in Y/N L/N, his son’s babysitter.

Was it wrong for him to have these thoughts about Y/N while being married? Yes. But did Bakugou care? Not at all. He was so drawn to Y/N it was like love at first sight for him. Besides, he didn’t love his wife anyway. They dated for a year and the whole time, Bakugou completely hated it. Truthfully, Bakugou dated her for her looks and the sweet facade she put up, but when her true self came through, Bakugou knew he was done with her. Unfortunately, before he had the chance to break up with her, his son Katsuo, was conceived. So when the news of her pregnancy became known to him, the toxic couple decided to tie the knot and get married. What a poor decision.

Bakugou decided enough time had been spent in bed and so he got up and got ready. Once he was fresh and clean he checked the time and saw it was 8:30. He made breakfast and prepped the table. Once he was done, he walked to his son’s room to wake up the little guy.

Katsuo Bakugou. Katsuki’s precious son. Even though he wasn’t planned, Katsuki loved his dear boy regardless. It’s sad to say the same thing can’t be said with the boy’s mother. Leiko Hotashi, Katsuo’s mother, seemed to have no love for the child, or anyone other than herself and money. She complained the entire pregnancy, she didn’t smile at the first sight of him when he was born, and she didn’t bother to be around the little guy either. Katsuo basically grew up without a mother’s love but he turned out just fine because Katsuki’s love was more than enough. The constant absence of his mother didn’t bother him and the child didn’t seem to care whether she was around or not. It’s sad really, but what can you do?

Bakugou walked into the room and saw a tuff of blonde hair that resembled his own. He walked to his ‘mini me,’ and shook the 5 year old awake.

“Katsuo...wake up bud. C’mon.” Katsuki said in a surprisingly soft voice. He was greeted with a pair of red eyes that copied his own and he smiled down at his carbon copy. “C’mon bud, breakfast is ready.”

Katsuo sat up in bed and yawned as he rubbed one of his eyes with his tiny fist. Katsuki smiled at the cute sight. “G’morning dad!”

“Heh. Good morning bud now let’s. Go. We got a nice breakfast waiting for us,” Bakugou said as he picked up his son in his arms. Katsuo giggled in excitement as Katsuki walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen.

The two sat down at the island as they enjoyed their breakfast and Katsuki listened to his son babble on about nothing. It was a peaceful morning for the most part. Katsuki’s morning always consisted of his crazy wife being a nag but other than that, he enjoyed his mornings with his son.

“So, I have to go to work soon and Mom is gone, but Y/N is coming by in a bit to watch you.” Katsuki explained to the young boy who seemed to light up at the mention of your name.

“Y/N’s coming?! Yay!” The boy shouted. Katsuo loved you. You’ve been his babysitter for 2 years and you already had the child (and his father) wrapped around your finger. Without knowing it, you showered the boy in motherly love, something that he never really got to experience. As we already stated, Bakugou felt drawn to you as if it was love at first sight, but seeing the way you interacted with his son just sealed the deal for him.

The two continued their meal and when they were done, Katsuki had the child wash up and get ready for your arrival. He cleaned up in the kitchen and by the time he was done, you knocked on the door. Bakugou felt his heart race at the knowledge of your presence and before he ran to the door, he stopped infront of a mirror to check himself. He fixed his hair and adjusted his clothes to fit more comfortably and then ran to the door. Before opening it, he placed his hand on the knob, took a breath, and then pulled the door open to be blessed with the sight of your beauty. “Y/N! Hi!”

“Heh, hey Katsuki.” You said as you stood at the door with a smile. You weren’t dumb. You always noticed how nervous Bakugou was whenever you were around. His crush was a little obvious to you and even though you felt something for the handsome hero, you never made any advances for the man. He was married and had a kid! There’s no way any sort of relationship was happening. Luckily, a very flirtatious friendship blossomed between you two and you grew so close that you both reached a first name basis.

Y/N L/N. A beautiful woman at the pretty age of 23. She was not only beauty, but she was brains, strength, and grace. She was a fierce and charming lady who had poison on her tongue but a fluffy heart of gold. The lot of you may be thinking that a 23 year old woman should be doing more than babysitting, but Y/N is still fairly young. And besides, babysitting was just a side gig. You had an actual career and owned your own dance studio but ever since you met the Bakugous, you just couldn’t give up on the little job.

“...Umm...Katsuki. Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna let me in?” You said with a chuckle. Bakugou embarrassingly snapped out of his trance before speaking.

“Right! Uh, come in,” he said and stepped aside for you to enter. You nodded with a smile and walked into the large home, took a seat on the soft couch and you waited for Katsuo to come down. In the meantime, Katsuki always took the opportunity to make small talk with you.

“So..how’ve you been? It’s been awhile since you came over to watch Katsuo.” Katsuki said as he took a seat that was pretty close to you.

“Yeah, sorry about that. The studio’s just been pretty hectic with more clients coming in. Even before I came here, I dropped off some choreography for a heels class that I’m teaching tonight.” You said. The mention of your upcoming class made Katsuki a little excited. Your studio commonly filmed classes to post online for publicity and when Katsuki found videos of you dancing/teaching a heels class, he couldn’t help but constantly admire the view.

“Still coulda’ came by to at least say hi or something,” he said with a gruff but obvious sarcastic voice. “S’been forever since I- I mean since Katsuo saw you.”

“Relax dummy,” you said with a giggle as you playfully slapped his arm. “I’ve only been gone a week.”

Bakugou pretended to be in pain as he placed a hand over his chest, slumped in his seat, and scrunched his face. “Ouch. Don’t remind me. Like I said, it’s been forever.”

You both laughed at his little joke as he sat up straight again. You looked around the house and after seeing a few family pictures hanging, you decided to bring up another topic. “So..where’s the Mrs.?”

“Tch. She’s out at some random party.” He said as he stretched out his neck. You raised your brow and smirked at his answer.

“Oh? Is somebody upset he got left behind?” You teased which made Bakugou cackle a bit.

“Yeah right! Like I care about that nag. She could leave for an eternity and I wouldn’t care and neither would the kid. Besides, it’d just give me the opportunity to get a little closer to you.” He said as he leaned in a little closer and you did the same.

“Oh really?” You said with a smile.

“Really.” He replied back with a face that mimicked your own. Soon enough, his hand found a place on your inner thigh and gave it a squeeze. Your lips slightly separated with a tiny gasp and Bakugou definitely took notice of that. Things would’ve continued if it wasn’t for the sudden voice of a child.

“Y/N!” Katsuo said in excitement as he took notice of you on the couch. You and Bakugou jumped and quickly separated before the child could even get an idea of what was about to happen. You were quick to stand and greet the small boy as you crouched down to his level and gave him a hug.

“Hi Katsuo!” You said with your award winning smile. Katsuki watched from the couch as Katsuo went on and on about all the things he wanted to do today and the only thing that appeared in his head was a new family picture but with you in it instead of Leiko.

“Alright bud,” Bakugou said as he got up from the couch, walking to the two. “I gotta get to work but enjoy your day with Y/N, okay? And be good.” Bakugou said as he ruffled his boy’s blonde hair.

“I’m always good, dad!” The boy pouted as he swatted away his father’s hand. You laughed at their interaction and Bakugou chuckled before kissing the crown of his son’s head and walking to the front door.

“Bye Katsuo!” He said from the exit. You walked him to the exit and before he left he turned to you. He checked to make sure his son wasn’t watching before making his move. He grabbed your chin with his fingers to make you face him and softly spoke. “And I’ll see you later tonight, beautiful.”

You smiled and rolled your eyes at his compliment then said your thanks. You expected him to leave after that and so you tried to walk back to Katsuo but before you could, Katsuki pulled your wrist, grabbed your chin again, and pecked your cheek before exiting and slamming the door shut. You stood with a shocked expression as you felt blood rush to your cheeks.

Although you knew you felt something special for Katsuki, you knew he was married. And you weren’t no homewrecker! Even though some may see it as a harmless little peck on the cheek, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for his growing affections towards you. You sighed a bit before calming down and walking to the blonde boy waiting for you in the living room. You were going to enjoy your time with Katsuo but the return of his father stirred up a little confusion in your chest.

—

Hours passed. When you arrived it was 9:30 a.m. Now, it’s 10:00 p.m., and you expected Bakugou to be home soon. You didn’t really expect to see Leiko. Whenever Katsuki mentioned she was out partying, she never came back while you were around. It’s not that she was purposely avoiding you, she just tend to stay out into late hours of the night.

Katsuo was supposed to be in bed half an hour ago but his puppy eyes got the best of you and so you stayed up an extra hour to watch a quick movie with him. In the middle of the screening, he fell asleep on you and so you turned off the T.V and carried him to bed. After tucking him in, you walked away but felt a tug on your arm. Your turned to see Katsuo with sleepy eyes staring up at you. “Yes Katsuo?”

“Sing me to sleep again. Please Y/N,” the sweet boy asked. You smiled down at him and nodded. You took a seat on his bed side as you ran your fingers through his soft, spiked, blonde hair and sang.

As you sung Katsuo to sleep, you didn’t even notice the front door opening. Katsuki walked in feeling a little excited to see Y/N again but when he walked through the door he heard an angelic voice. He placed his bag down and followed the sound into his son’s room. Once he made it there, he stood in the doorway and listened to your voice and watched as you sung his child to sleep.

Your calming voice sent a blush to Katsuki’s face as he smiled and watched. Your voice was like honey. Smooth and sweet. The way you took care of Katsuo filled Katsuki with a type of happiness he never experienced before. He notice you ran your fingers through his son’s hair and Katsuki couldn’t help but feel a little envious of his own child.

“Don’t go away, stay another day~”

You finished the song and smiled as you saw Katsuo finally asleep. You leaned down and pecked his forehead before getting up to leave his room. As you looked towards the doorway, you jumped at the sight of Katsuki’s tall figure leaning against the frame.

“Katsuki, hey. I didn’t even realize you came home. How was work?” You asked. Your question made Katsuki smile, as it was similar to something a wife would ask her husband after a long day. It was something Katsuki never got to experience, even though he was already married. He smiled at you with kind eyes before tilting his head to signal you to follow him. You smiled softly and nodded as you followed Katsuki down the stairs.

—

For the past hour you and Katsuki had been laughing and talking. You followed Katsuki into the kitchen where he made you both some tea where you then both found seats in the living room. There, you talked some more and you both enjoyed the private company. Eventually, Katsuki grew bold and walked back into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Heh, real smooth Romeo.” You teased and Bakugou chuckled as he rolled his eyes as sat down. You both picked up another conversation and eventually reached your second glass.

“Thanks for always taking care of Katsuo the way you do, Y/N.” Bakugou said with a slight blush. And it wasn’t just the alcohol causing it.

“What do you mean?” You asked, your face holding a similar blush for the same reasons. Safe to say you were both a little tipsy tonight. Not drunk but filled with a little liquid courage.

“I don’t know..like a mom?” His words caught your attention and your gaze encouraged him to continue. “Katsuo..doesn’t have the greatest mom in the world. I think everybody knows that. Honestly, if she wasn’t around at all, Katsuo wouldn’t even know the difference. But you? You’re like the mother he never got....the mother he should’ve got.”

You felt a growing heat flow in your face and you smiled at the sweet compliment. You can’t lie, sometimes you did see Katsuo as your son. You didn’t have kids but you always wanted some. Having Katsuo around was like having a son of your own. “Awe, thanks Katsuki.”

“You shouldn’t thank me, it’s just insane how you’re the actual definition of perfect.” He said before taking a sip of wine.

“Stop it,” you said and playfully hit his arm again. You both put your glasses down and he laughed a bit before continuing.

“No, I’m serious. I mean, c’mon you’re beautiful, smart, kind, sassy,” he began.

“Yeah..and,” you said as you both began to face each other.

“You’re great with kids, you’re good at everything, you have a steady career, you have a passion,” he continued.

“Mhmm..” you said while smiling at his words. You shuffled a little bit closer to him on the couch and Bakugou smiled when he noticed.

“...You’re perfect Y/N.” He focused his gaze on you as he became entranced with your E/C eyes. He leaned in close and you did the same. “...You’re the perfect one for me.”

At those words, you both closed the gap between you two and kissed. Your lips were pressed together for a few seconds before you both pulled away for the same amount of time. During that time, Bakugou kept his lips hovering over yours before pecking your lips a few times and then giving you a real, passionate kiss. Due to the small amount of alcohol in your system you happily returned it. Your hands found way into his hair and his found home on your waist. When you took a small breath, Bakugou slipped his tongue in and you both fought for dominance. In the heat of the moment, Bakugou carried you to sit on his lap and you followed his lead. Your tongues continued to tangle as Bakugou’s hands caressed your body.

They moved down to the hill of your ass and gave it a firm squeeze. You moaned into the kiss and it was music to his ears. Almost as good as the sweet lullaby you sang an hour ago. Soon enough, his hands traveled under your shirt and bra to fondle your plush breast. This made you let go of the kiss and throw your head back as you released soft moans. Bakugou didn’t stop and went into kiss your neck. He left sweet pecks before he left a few hickeys. His mouth moved around your neck before he found your sweet spot, earning a needy sound from you. Bakugou began nipping at the spot and licking the soft skin. His actions caused your hands to tug at his hair and made your hips naturally grind against his center. This made Bakugou groan as he gently layed you on your back on the couch. His body found way in between your legs as he separated from your neck and took notice of your flushed face. He smirked at the sight and his eyes traveled to your shirt, where his hands were hidden under. Deciding to change that, his hands left your valley of breast to push your shirt and bra up to expose your chest.

“Beautiful...” was what he whispered before going in to take one of your mounds in his mouth. You gasped and squealed at the sensation of his mouth covering one breast and his hand massaging the other. Bakugou continued to mark up your chest, leaving love bites and bruises all over.

“Ngh...Katsuki..” you whined. Both your centers began to grind against each other as the two of you were pretty much dry humping one another. Bakugou bit at your nipple, causing you to squirm.

“Easy Princess, I got you. Daddy’s got you, Love.” He said as he used both hands to rub soothing motions into your bare waist. You settled as Katsuki kissed a trail back up to your neck and whispered into your ear. “I’m gonna take such good care of you tonight, Y/N.”

His hand glided off your chest, down your stomach and down your pants. His movements had the wetness between your legs growing and his husky voice definitely didn’t calm it down. His hands slid into your panties and his finger took a swipe at your slick.

“So wet...and it’s all for me..right baby?” He smirked against your cheek.

“Y-Yes Katsuki!” You said as you attempted to grind against his hand before Katsuki pulled it away.

“Try again,” he said with a seductive tone. You were confused on what he meant but you were growing so desperate for a touch. His touch. So your mind began to scramble and think. Master? No. Sir? No. Senpai? Hell no.

“..Daddy.” You softly said. You watched as Bakugou’s smirk grew before he kissed your cheek in approval.

“Good girl.” His finger soon returned to your center and after running it up and down a few times, he slowly pushed two in. You gasped at his thick length as Bakugou pumped his hand in and out of you. Wanting to test the waters a bit more, he slid in a third finger as he picked up the speed a bit.

“O-Oh my god!” Your hips began to grind against his hand and Bakugou curled his fingers. “Fuck!”

“Feel good, baby?” Bakugou asked as he began to grind against the underside of your thigh. Your lower body began to slightly shake as his fingers reached a sensitive spot.

“Yes Daddy!” You cried out. You felt the coil in your stomach tightening, signaling a familiar sensation to almost be reached. Growing more riled up and wanting more room on the couch, Bakugou began to throw the decor pillows off the couch. The pillows flew around the living room knocking a few things over, including the family picture. The sound reached your ears and the sight of the broken frame snapped you out of your pleasured state. Your eyes grew wide as you finally came to and realized what you were doing. “Ngh, no!”

You pushed Katsuki off of you and pulled your shirt back down to cover yourself back up. Bakugou looked at you in shock and confusion as he watched you sit up and settle down. “Y/N...?”

Your hands covered your face for a second before rubbing at your temples for a bit. “No, I- ..*sigh* I’m so sorry Katsuki.”

“Uh..no..I-..I guess that was my fault. I’m sorry I just...”

“Ugh..no. Katsuki it’s not that.”

“I just thought you..felt the same way,” he said as he sat back and rubbed the back of his neck.

“No, Katsuki I do, really, it’s just...”

“So then..why’d you stop?” He asked as he looked at you with a nervous and awkward smile.

“Katsuki..you’re married. I’m sorry, I really like you but..I just can’t bring myself to come onto someone who is already in a relationship.” You explained.

‘Wow. She really is a perfect person,’ Bakugou thought to himself. “Y/N, if that’s the problem then don’t worry about it. I don’t even love Leiko, much less like that bitch.” Bakugou moved in to wrap his arm around your waist but you pushed it away.

“So then why are you still with her?” You asked. Katsuki smirked at your words and laughed a little.

“S’a good question,” he said. Right after those words left his mouth, keys could be heard opening the door and in came the bitch herself.

“What’s a good question?” Leiko said as she looked around. She took notice of yours and Katsuki’s presence on the couch, along with the bottle of wine and empty, used glasses. “Well? Is somebody going to explain? What was the question?” Leiko asked as she walked into the house, closing the front door.

Bakugou smiled at you with full eye contact before standing up and facing his wife. “Why am I still with you?”

Leiko raised a brow at the question and her anger began to boil. “What?” She sternly asked.

“Why am I still with you? I don’t love you, I don’t like you, I only stayed with you because we had Katsuo, our child which you don’t even love. In fact, the only thing you do love is my money, or more so, money in general, and yourself. You’re a conceited ass bitch who’s just taking up space in my life. You’re suffocating Katsuo and I by just existing and you’re holding the title of my wife, a title that Y/N should have. So why the fuck am I still with you?” Bakugou said with a stern voice.

“You-...You’re with me because I’m the mother of your child.” Leiko said with hesitation in her voice.

“Are you? Because you’re never around to be a mother for him. Katsuo doesn’t even care whether you’re here or not. Your presence in the house doesn’t make a damn difference. If anything, Y/N’s more of a mother to Katsuo than you.” Bakugou replied.

You grew uncomfortable with the situation and made an attempt to leave. “Umm..I think I should go-“

“No,” Bakugou began. “You’re staying. I want you to see this thing through to the end, beautiful.”

“Beautiful?! The only woman you should be calling beautiful is your wife Katsuki!” Leiko complained. “Not that slut!”

Now you were a uncomfortable but you were not no slut and you definitely didn’t take shit from nobody. “Excuse me?” You said with attitude but before you could continue, Bakugou intervened.

“Call her a slut again and I’ll blow your ass to bits. Let’s not forget, you had the title of a whore before being called my wife.” Bakugou said with the intent to cause pain.

“Well I may have been a whore but at least I never cheated, which is what I’m sure you were planning on doing with her if I hadn’t come home.” Leiko said.

“You’re damn right I was! Lucky for you, Y/N’s a good person so nothing actually went down but if she gave me the chance, please fucking believe I’d take it in a heartbeat. Matter of fact, if she gave me the chance to wife her up and make her Katsuo’s new mom I’d do that in a heartbeat too.” Bakugou said while looking at you. You felt your heart speed up a little due to his confession but you turned your head to the side to hide your growing blush. Bakugou smirked at the sight before Leiko interrupted.

“What the hell are you trying to say?!” Leiko asked with anger.

“I’m saying I don’t love or like you and I never did! And after 2 years of getting to know Y/N after falling for her at first sight, I can finally fucking say that I’m in love with somebody and it’s her!” Bakugou turned to face you as his wife’s jaw dropped. “Y/N, I’m fucking in love with you. Alright? I have been for the past 2 years already, ever since I met you. And to the bitch behind me,” Bakugou said and turned to face Leiko. “If it wasn’t already obvious, we’re getting a divorce.”

Leiko was fuming as her face grew red with anger. She began laughing in disbelief. “Hah, fine! Fine whatever! Like I give a fuck! Y/N you can have him and the damn kid! I never wanted him anyway! The damn brat just gave me an excuse to keep Bakugou’s fat wallet around. But when you come crawling back, don’t expect me to say yes Katsuki!”

“Well don’t expect me to come crawling back, ‘cause if I’m able to get Y/N to give me a chance, then I won’t be needing anyone else except for her and my son. You can get the fuck out now. I’ll send you your shit and the divorce papers to wherever the fuck you decide to stay.” Bakugou said as he gestured to the door. Leiko screamed some more nonsense that nobody payed attention to and finally walked out the door and slammed it shut.

Silence rang throughout the house for a few minutes after the official split between the toxic couple. Bakugou turned to face you with a small smile as he stood infront of you.

“Well?” He asked.

“Heh, well what?” You asked with a laugh.

“I uh..heh, it wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you but I got my confession out...” Bakugou took a seat next to you and took hold of your hand. He brought it up to his lips, placing a peck to your knuckles before speaking. “..I love you Y/N. I know I do..and I know this might be a bad time to ask considering what just went down-“

“Uh, yeah. A really bad time,” you said with a little giggle.

“Right but umm..do you...how do you feel about me?” He asked with a nervous pulse beating throughout his body. He had to know. Do you love him just for his looks? Did you just want to fuck? Did you actually feel something towards him?

You smiled before using your other hand to grab hold of Katsuki’s shoulder and pulled him in for a sweet kiss. Katsuki’s body jumped in excitement but his hands were quick to hold onto your waist. This kiss was sweet and loving and lasted for some time before you pulled back. You smiled at the blonde as he looked at you with anticipating eyes.

“I love you too Katsuki.” Before you could even process anything, Katsuki had already pounced on you and pinned you to the couch in a hug. He had his arms wrapped around your waist as he tucked his head in the crevasse of your neck.

“God, I’ve been waiting years to hear you say those words.” Bakugou said before he began covering your face in thousands of loving kissed. You giggled at the ticklish and loving feeling and just smiled as you allowed Katsuki to show you his love.

—

Time passed and you and Katsuki stayed cuddled up on the couch. Nothing sexual, nothing nasty, just pure love induced cuddle time. Eventually, the late hours of the night exposed themselves and so you had to go.

“Katsuki, get up,” you said in a soft voice.

“No.” You laughed at his quick reply and began to push at his body to get him off.

“C’mon Katsuki seriously. I have to go home!” You said with another laugh.

“No. Katsuo and I are your new home.” He said, making his body become dead weight to stop you from going.

“Oof! Katsuki!! C’mon!” You whined out with a chuckle. Katsuki laughed with you but you kept trying. “You both are my new home, but my old home has comfy pjs for me to sleep in.”

“I can give you one of my shirts to sleep in. You’d look so amazing in them, princess.” He said with a smile as he imagined how you’d look prancing around in his clothes. It wasn’t the first time he thought about it but just knowing it was so close to becoming true sent butterflies all over his body.

“C’mon Katsuki. You already made me miss my class, the least you could do is let me go back to my apartment.” You said. Bakugou raised his head to look at you with a grin plastered on his face.

“You stayed on your own free will. S’not my fault you love talking to me. Let’s not forget what happened after our long talk too,” Bakugou said, hinting at your scandalous acts with him before you stopped anything else from happening. You rolled your eyes at his words before he spoke up again. “Matter of fact, maybe we should pick up where we left off,” he said and began kissing your cheek.

“Noooo, Katsuki, seriously. I’m tired, I just want to sleep.” You said with a smile.

“So sleep here,” he bargained. You looked at him with a raised brow, silently asking him to go on. “I was serious about having you stay over. You can sleep in my shirt and we can both fall asleep in the guest room.”

“Both of us in the guest room?” You questioned.

“Yeah. I’d let you sleep in my room but I’m not letting that bitch’s leftover presence contaminate you.” You laughed at his insults but allowed him to continue. “And yes both of us. I’m not going to sleep without my princess in my arms.”

You couldn’t lie, the sound of falling asleep in Katsuki’s arms in his clothes was pretty tempting. After taking a look at Katsuki and seeing the same puppy eyes that Katsuo was able to persuade you with, you gave in.

“Fine.”

“Yes!” Bakugou said with a fist in the air as he cuddled in closer.

—

Bakugou finally let you go and allowed you to take a shower. While you were in there, he took a quick drive to the corner store and bought some compression shorts for you. When he returned he left one of his shirts and a pair of the compression shorts for you on the guest bed as he went to get ready for bed in his own room. You walked into the guest room and saw the shorts and shirt and put them on. You looked in the mirror and noticed the shorts weren’t even noticeable considering their tiny length and the large size of Katsuki’s shirt. While staring at yourself, Katsuki walked in wearing nothing but gray sweats. He took a glance at you and was drooling over your body in his clothes.

“...Wow,” he whispered but you heard. You turned to face him and smiled. You walked to him and wrapped you arms around his neck.

“Hey Suki, ready for bed?” You said. Bakugou smiled at the new name as a small blush dusted over his cheeks.

“Suki?”

“New name for you. Like it?” You asked.

“Love it.” He said and pecked your lips before picking you up and carrying you to the bed. He dropped you onto the soft mattress and flopped on top of you. You both laughed a little before getting under the blankets and cuddling up against each other again.

Time passed and Katsuki felt at peace finally with you in his arms. Like the missing part of him was finally filled in. You were so happy and felt so loved in the safety of his arms. Staying the night was definitely worth it.

“I’m so glad Y/N. I love you so much and I’ve wanted you for so long.” He said with your head tucked under his chin. You smiled at his words and nuzzled into his chest.

“Well congrats Katsuki. ‘Cause now, you have me.” Katsuki kissed the crown of your head before falling asleep. And when he woke up that morning to find you in the kitchen with Katsuo on your hip as you made breakfast, he smiled with a full heart as he walked to you both and remembered your words.

“You have me.”

A/N: Hey y’all, for a better experience with the story, I do recommend clicking the link where Y/N sang to Katsuo. I put two links in the story. The heels class and Y/N’s singing, (which is from Rio 2, Jewel’s lullaby) Don’t judge me, that’s the best lullaby ever😂 If you don’t know what a heels class is in dancing, it is basically...dancing with heels😂 Umm...yeah. THE ENDING IS SO RUSHED, IM SO SORRY!

TAGLIST:  @sxcker4you @aomi04

[griffintail]

Hello! Since I saw requests are open can you do one where reader has like a ton of stuff and any time someone would go to them it would just be for stuff and one dat they snap because everyone just uses them For resources? I would write that myself but I forgot I have to much homework (It's okay if don't want to)

Broken Promises

Pairings: DreamSMP x GN! Reader

Warnings: Self Doubts

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/N) remembered before the wars. Before even the first disc war.

There were fair trades and everyone worked for what they needed alongside them. Even Tommy was responsible with trades with them.

They were a harder worker themselves and it was no surprise they had hordes of valuable resources and it helped to even keep them well stocked on other items.

Then all the wars happened. There were no times for trades, only broken promises to return the favor and run off to battle. (Y/N) stayed away from sides and instead was there to just help people survive. They supposed that was why they were ok with it a first.

People needed to live and when these same people’s houses were getting blown up or burned down or resources stolen, it was only fair they helped them out. They were a kind soul as much as they were a hard-working one. What’re a few diamonds to help a boy who lost his home for the third time?

It took a long time for things to stabilize, it took even a few deaths, but in the end, it seemed to stabilize even just slightly. There was no need for a constant rush with supplies anymore. No impending war hanging over everyone’s head so they could finally go back to trading normally…But trading never seemed to come back.

It was still a give only system with promises for a returned favor. The only people that traded with (Y/N) fairly were Philza and freaking Ghostbur!

But (Y/N) would often take a deep breath and remind themselves, people were still recovering. There had been war after war. People still needed help. A nation had just been bombarded after all by its own past leader.

They kept their cool and let time pass, maybe it would improve…

“(Y/N)!” Ghostbur grinned as he just let himself into their home, a newly trimmed sheep behind him. “How are you today?”

(Y/N) laughed lightly as they close the chest they were organizing. “I’m doing pretty well Ghostbur, would you like some blue?”

“Yes! I’m running rather low. But I have some wool from Friend for it!” Ghostbur smiled.

“Thank you Ghostbur.” They chuckled lightly handing over a bag filled with the blue gems before taking the bag of wool Ghostbur had been trimming from Friend. “And here’s some wheat just for you Friend, no extra price.”

“Thank you!” Ghostbur beamed. “Oh! And Tommy asked if he could have some diamonds.” (Y/N) stiffened as they were turning to put the wool away. “He said he’ll bring resources back and he said you’d be alright with it”

(Y/N) gripped the bag of wool. It had been months since L’Manberg had been blown away by Wilbur. Their government was stable and they could finally worry about themselves. They had to put their foot down. These were their friends but they couldn’t just keep doing this give system.

“I uh, I can’t spare anything right now Ghostbur unless he trades. Can you tell him to come here himself with things to trade with?”

“Sure! Thank you for the blue (Y/N)! Have a good day! Bye, bye! Bye, bye!” He waved as he left, (Y/N) sighing once they were alone.

It was a reasonable request and they carried on with their day…until there was a furious knock on their door. They raised an eyebrow before opening it ajar and there stood a fuming Tommy.

“What do you mean you need resources to trade right now?” Tommy threw up his hands. “You haven’t asked for anything upfront before!”

“Hello to you too, Tommy.” They rolled their eyes before leaning on the doorframe. “L’Manberg is back on its feet and so are its citizens. I think it’s fair that I ask for immediate trades again.”

“Come on (Y/N)! We’re friends! And you know I’m good for my word!” Tommy tried to convince them.

“Are you though? Tommy, no one has returned the favor in months.” (Y/N) said.

“That can’t be true.” Tommy waved his hand dismissively.

“No, it is.” (Y/N) stood up straight. “I have less and less resources every day and I work pretty damn hard for these items. So, I think I should get some sort of compensation for the work I’m putting in.”

“(Y/N) come on. We’re friends. I swear I’ll-”

But (Y/N) finally felt something snap and threw up their arms.

“Are you though?! Everyone says I’m friends with them but I haven’t felt like I’ve had a single friend since all this fucking chaos started! Everyone said they were though! ‘Oh, (Y/N), we’re great friends, can’t you help me and my other friends with things.’ And ‘oh, (Y/N), we’re such good mates, why don’t you join us?’ But now! Now I realize all you guys fucking wanted was my shit! None of you were my friends!

“You don’t want to trade, you don’t want to barter, you just want my things and leave! Even now, you came here demanding to know why I didn’t just hand my own resources over without even a simple hello! So, here.” (Y/N) went over to a chest and tossed a bag of diamonds at the boy, which hit him right in the chest, though he caught it. “There’s your damn diamonds. Now, your favor is to tell everyone, I refuse to trade, ever. Good day.”

And they slammed the door, leaning their back against it before sliding down. It had been a pretty shitty time and now, it came all crashing down on them and they sat there, tearing up. Since the wars, they haven’t had anyone and now there truly wouldn’t be anyone but them…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Y/N) ran their hoe through their small field, trying to get a new patch of wheat to grow. No one had been around in days and the loneliness was most certainly starting to seep in. They sighed deeply, leaning on the tool before picking it up and going towards their house. Maybe it was time for a break today.

As they went to open the door, they stopped seeing a handful of figures coming down the path. Sapnap, Tubbo, Fundy, Punz, Purpled. People they had “traded” with. The group of them was led by Tommy holding the reins of a horse carrying a large bag.

“What--?” (Y/N) started but stopped as Tommy took the bag off the horse and let it fall in front of them.

It was a heavy clang of what sounded like metals and gems. (Y/N) raised an eyebrow at the group and Tommy looked away as Tubbo spoke up.

“We’re sorry. We didn’t…we didn’t realize how much we had been taking. So, Tommy came and got us and we at least wanted to make it even and apologize.”

“Yeah, sorry man, I didn’t mean to go into debt with you.” Sapnap apologized.

They all gave their various apologies, and (Y/N) stood there silently before smiling lightly.

“Well, it better not happen again. Only proper trades for now.”

Everyone gave agreements before going to leave.

“Hey Tommy.” (Y/N) called and the younger boy stopped. “Did you use those diamonds to get this?”

He hesitated before nodding. Going into the bag, (Y/N) saw several different resources all smelted and ready for use, from iron to netherite. (Y/N) took out a few diamonds and held them out to Tommy.

“Here’s to repaying favors.” They said as Tommy looked at them surprised.

The boy hesitated once more before taking the resources. “Thanks…See ya.”

Maybe they did have friends after all…

[manonblaqkbeak]

Dating and Goodreads

Back for Day 8-Blind date (how the hell do u guys come up with good title fics i struggle so bad lol). I wasn’t really going anywhere with this one, but when i read all of the others and saw how fun the fics were, i decided to finish this one.

also for Summertime and Fresh Strawberries, I deliberately left it blank but I can’t hold onto the secret bc two people were curious as to what happened, so i’ll let the rest of you know that aelin and rowan decided to keep summer and be a cute little family, bc im a sucker for happy endings lol (unless its angst, it’s safe to assume that all my rowaelin fics have happy endings bc they’ve all ready been thru so much and even in alt fics i need them to be happy lmao)

anyway, on to the next one. hope you enjoy!

1.8k words

cw: none

Aelin was a confident woman, something that she was proud of. But that didn't mean that there weren't times she didn't feel self-conscious or awkward and full of doubt.

Because right now, all those negative feelings were swimming inside of her.

And those feelings were just magnified today, especially since she had gotten fired only a few hours beforehand. It was utterly unexpected, she had never received any prior warnings, and while she was a fighter, Aelin didn't feel like stepping into the ring for this one. Not when her boss was a demon from hell that made life unbearable and she had to physically push herself into entering the work building.

Aelin told herself that it was for the best. She was miserable there and hated working in an office typing up the worlds most boring reports and working in a space that was entirely too drab.

But she wasn't looking forward to job hunting. Aelin was aware that she could ask her friends for favours, but if Aelin did something wrong, she didn't want it reflected back onto whoever helped her.

And she was still a little peeved over the damned argument she had online again with that haughty prick on Goodreads. Aelin wasn't sure why those arguments kept going, but each time she would post a review, White Tailed Hawk would respond, telling her that she read the book wrong and this and that and blah blah blah.

Aelin repaid the favour each time, telling him how he was wrong and he had no reading comprehension skills. And on and on it went until Aelin or whoever the fuck that guy was went back to their own lives.

Depressingly, it was the most fun she had some days.

Shaking her head, Aelin forced herself to think of the now and not of her shitty day. Still she sighed, not quite believing that she had agreed to this blind date. Couldn't believe that she had let Aedion convince her it was a good idea.

Aelin had said no at first, after Aedion had voiced his offer, and her cousin left it at that. But days went past, and he would bring up the topic of Rowan, about the things he had said that day, how his dry sense of humour took some time to get used to but once you figured it out, he was actually pretty funny, how he had finished a project perfectly and this and that.

But it got to her, annoyingly. So the other day when he was helping her out with some housework that was a two person job, Aelin told him to set up this date. Aedion cheered as if it was the best thing he had ever heard, telling her how she and Rowan were the perfect match for each other.

Aelin rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything of the assessment.

She had only agreed because it was getting frustrating being asked at every family event if she was dating someone, when she was going to give her parents grandchildren (that question pissed her off the most, as if Aelin was nothing but a birthing machine and that was all Aelin could contribute to society), and who was going to look after her when she was old if she didn't have children (because apparently carers didn't exist).

Aelin was also lonely—she could entertain herself just fine, but she did like the idea of coming home and talking to someone that could respond. She loved Fleetfoot and her enthusiasm when Aelin came home, but human companionship would be nice.

But Aelin didn't have high-hopes for this date because the universe liked to kick Aelin's ass from time to time, she suspected that they were going to hate each other.

Taking a deep breath, Aelin got out of her car, smoothed down her romper and went inside the restaurant, head held high.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't believe that he was about to go on a blind date. That Aedion had convinced him to go out with his younger cousin. He hadn't dated anyone since Lyria and he knew that his dating skills were going to be rusty as hell. He had been with Lyria since they were nineteen, married at 23 and divorced at 31; he had been single for the last two years.

It had been...fine, a little strange, after being with someone for so long to find himself a bachelor. Rowan never thought that he would apart from Lyria, but their relationship had just faded. Long before the divorce, it had been more like a housemate relationship than a marriage. He wasn't surprised when his ex-wife had come home after work with divorce papers. He had only stared at the paperwork for an hour before he signed the forms. Truthfully, Rowan was just glad that he was still on good terms with Lyria, that they could still talk to one another from time to time.

Rowan had almost called her earlier today, to ask how the hell dates went, but felt that it would have been crossing some invisible line, so he didn't call and instead had Googled the questions instead.

They didn't really help.

Rowan drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, telling himself that if things went wrong, then it wasn't the end of the world. That if he had to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, then that was fine. He had plenty of ways of keeping himself busy—he had a good career, a nice house, plenty of books to read and to argue online about them with.

He had one earlier today, actually, with Queen of Wildfire about a new release that Rowan had eagerly read within days of its release. And once again, he ended up with an argument with the woman about the messages and themes within the book.

It was stupid, he knew, to be at his age and to be fighting online with a stranger, but something about this woman just had his fingers flying over the keyboard.

Some days he looked forward to it, as embarrassing as that was to admit. He didn't really want to look into himself to figure out what it all meant.

Eyes drifting to the dashboard, Rowan realised that his date was about to start. Popping a mint into his mouth and smoothing out his clothes, Rowan took a deep breath and left the car and went to his first date in twelve years.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be too bad.

X X X X X X

The date had started out a little awkward, but that wasn't a surprise to Aelin, because what blind date started smoothly?

It picked up after Rowan admitted that he was divorced and that he had no idea what the hell he was supposed to do. Aelin appreciated that stark honesty and admitted that she too had no idea what to do.

Since then, the conversation went well, the food was good and Aelin had even swiped a few bites of his dinner because it just looked so much better than hers. Rowan had playfully grumbled underneath his breath, but smiled as he said it.

It was going really well. Maybe the universe had decided to give her a break for the rest of this evening. There was a part of her that maybe wondered if they would have sex, because the man did look fucking fantastic, but at the same time, she didn't want to rush anything in case this actually turned into something more.

“What's the dumbest thing that you've done recently or in the past?” Aelin asked. There was no such thing as small talk between them—Aelin had all ready asked if he believed in aliens and was glad when he said yes, because “it's ridiculous to think that we're alone in this wide universe of ours. It makes sense that there'd be other lifeforms out there.” Which was pretty damned close to Aelin's reasoning as well, so asking him about stupid moments felt like nothing in comparison.

Rowan smirked at the question and took a moment to think before answering. “I engage in online arguments.”

“Really? About what, exactly?”

“It's stupid. But my all my arguments occur on Goodreads of all places. Not Facebook, or YouTube, or Twitter, but Goodreads. It's never anything insulting but just arguments about how wrong some people's in depth reviews are.”

“Fair enough,” Aelin said, “I've been known to do the same thing as you. There's this one user on there, White Tailed Hawk—a stupid name if you ask me—and he just never...” Aelin stopped when she noticed that he stopped eating and was just looking at her weirdly. “Rowan? Are you okay?”

“Do you, by any chance, go under the name of Queen of Wildfire?”

Aelin blinked, and then blinked again, and once the pieces fell into place, she knew right then and there that the universe really hated her. She let out a harsh laugh, the sound echoing throughout the space. Aelin wasn't really sure what to say, because it was true what he said; it had never been insulting, but ending up on a date with the man she had regularly arguments with was just...she had no words, other then, “It really is a stupid name.” She took a sip of her wine, needing to do something other than wanting to bang her head against the table.

“I couldn't think of anything else to write.” And it wasn't also his favourite animal, he had told her that earlier.

They lapsed back into the awkward silence of earlier, both picking at their food.

But Aelin didn't want this night to go to waste. “It'd be stupid to let something as small as this get in the way of whatever this could be,” Aelin said, deciding to be blunt.

Rowan nodded. “It would be. Although I have to be honest, you really have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to Call of the Wild Winds.”

Aelin just about stormed off when she noticed his playful smile, his eyes sparkling bright. Laughing, Aelin threw a bread-roll at his handsome face, and once he caught it and split it in half for them to share, they went back to their earlier conversation.

And when Rowan walked her to her apartment door and kissed her on the cheek goodnight with a promise to text her later, Aelin couldn't help herself by telling him that all his opinions sucked and that he had no idea what he was talking about—all with a big smile on her face as Rowan sputtered as she closed the door on his face.

They spent the rest of the night texting, and all of Aelin's earlier woes faded away. And she looked forward to tomorrow, despite the horror of job hunting. Maybe the universe will finally let things turn around for the better for her.

Aelin went to sleep with a smile on her face, all because of White Tailed Hawk.

And on the other side of the city, Rowan also fell asleep with a smile on his face.

[and-claudia]

After the War: Hunter

(Hunter x female reader)

This is going to be a short series of Headcanons (one for each member of tbb) on what happened to them after the war. Also for these we’re going to pretend they didn’t have to accelerated growth to give them more time to have normal lives because let’s be honest they all deserve it.

Also I am pasting these over from where I write so the spacing is weird, I apologize.

If you want to be tagged please let me know 🖤

Links to the other:

Crosshair

Tech

Echo

After they rescued Crosshair and got his chip removed they all decided to settle on a small moon with mainly small towns and only a few big city areas. Eventually they all figured out how to live like civilians.

Warnings: Really just mostly fluff 🖤

He adopted Omega and became a real father figure for her. He lived a fairly simple life and got a job at a little gym teaching self defense. He met his wife at a market when Omega ran into her, literally. She was there with her son who was a few years younger than Omega. He apologized profusely and she waved it off as no big deal. They ended up talking for awhile while they shopped. Omega and her son, Jett, we're also getting along perfectly.

They decided to go out for dinner and they hit it off. A couple years later they were married. He built them a home a few miles out from town. He didn't like the all smells and sounds of the city. It could be very overwhelming for his senses. So he built the four of them a house with a couple extra rooms.

It's was six months after their marriage that she found out they were having a baby. A baby girl named Stella. Unlike Omega, she was very much a girly girl which was a curve ball for Hunter it was fun to watch him try and braid her hair nicely. They were perfectly content were their little family but the Galaxy had other plans. Two years later they welcomed twin boys, Leo and Samson, into the world. The six of them a very simple life, Yn worked in the city at one of office buildings and Hunter had eventually quite working at the gym and became a coach for Omega and Jett's sport team. He was their biggest cheerleader and motivator. He knew that this is where he was meant to be.

“The kids did good today." His wife commented as they got ready for bed.

"Yeah, Jett is warming up to his new position very well." He agreed with a proud smile.

"You know they all look up to. Not just our's but all the kids on your team." She said laying on her side, lazily tracing his "99" tattoo on his chest.

He smiled down at her, "You know I never thought I'd have any of this. Anytime I thought of my life after the war, it was always still working as a bounty hunter or something. But then we found Omega, and I felt the need to protect her. Then once we finally got away, I knew I didn't that life for her. When we got her I thought that my job at the gym was the right thing. I told myself it was. But I still felt empty, like I knew there was more for me to be doing. And this is going to sound horrible and I know that but even after I met you and Stella, Samson and Leo were all born I still felt a piece was missing. And it wasn't only recently that I realized it was my job. I love working with those kids, this is what I was supposed to be doing."

"That doesn't sound horrible at all. Finding your place in this galaxy is hard. And sometimes people never figure it out. You're lucky to have found it. And just because it wasn't found in your family doesn't mean anything, they were part of it but the final piece was something more personal. There is nothing wrong with that." She gave him a quick kiss.

"Thank you." He whispered after she pulled away.

"For what?"

"This life."

"Thank you. We couldn't do this without one another." She smiled at him before giving him one last kiss then settling back down beside him.

Taglist: @silvasbabe

[neonponders]

This isn’t what @memes-saved-me had in mind for this post but lol (read their tags, they’re delightful) 

Thinking about a younger Billy and an older Steve today ✨

✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨ ✨

Billy scratched at the hair on his nape. He wanted to grow it out; really had always wanted long hair. And now, as he peered at the other sophomores trying to fluff themselves bigger to match the juniors and seniors, he just might.

Long hair was in. Mullets, rock star manes, extensions - even the opposite. Women with buzz cuts and pixie faux hawks. Pleasant little surprises in Hawkins, Indiana, and Billy might finally indulge in that.

Plenty in this town was backwards as all hell. Girls wearing white stockings like it was the fifties. Boys and girls alike clearly letting having learned hair styling from their out-of-date parents. Two girls with beehives sat in his English class.

But it was fine, because there was plenty of present-day styling, and Billy wouldn’t get any shit at home for matching his peers.

Cherry Lane. The most backwards spot in Indiana.

But that’s okay, too, because small town people need occupations. Parties.

A cool senior with teased, black hair walked right up to him and handed him a neon orange sheet of paper. He saw others holding similar invitations all day. 

Party on Friday night. Address, dress code, and everything.

Caught him by surprise, that a dress code would be needed for one of these things, but the invitation just said ~casual attire~ and someone in his Advanced Biology class told him that Tina hosts the best shin digs, often with costume themes.

So he went. The late summer evening was still humid as all hell, making the party split between the massive house and the matching yard a convenient way to start a weekend.

He’d had alcohol before. Enough to know he preferred tequila drinks over vodka and gin, but the safest way to wake up the next day was to just stick to beer. No matter how bitter or sharply carbonated some of it was made.

Maybe that’s why he heard people hollering about King Steve.

Keg stands weren’t original to Hawkins, but Billy preferred them next to a bonfire on a beach. But people were really yelling for this king to do the damn thing - 

“Steve, why are you even here? You graduated in May,” Tina’s voice cut through the din.

“I live down the street! You really think you’re making this much noise without me noticing? And all of you shut the hell up! I’ll do a keg stand the day one of you dip shits can actually beat my record.”

Another surprise:

Steve Harrington.

Billy’s dumb luck had him three years behind, so he couldn’t look at that face in the hallways. Sit behind that head of glossy, bouncy hair in European History. He still lived in town, apparently. Right down the street. Billy asked around and discovered he worked at the mall and attended the community college -

“Heard you been asking about me.”

Billy stared wide-eyed over his beer. He recovered quickly, but not before Steve bounced on the balls of his feet, smug. That hair was really distracting.

These people really gossip about everything.

“I didn’t think anybody actually went by a title like that.”

“I didn’t put it on my resume, that’s for sure.” Steve’s smirk grew into a smile. Christ, the guy really had that Indiana, home town handsome thing to his face.

That was dangerous. Billy’s gut told him so, the way it bruised like someone had poked it. And wanted to be poked again.

“Let’s do this properly. Steve.” He held his hand out.

It wasn’t queer to accept a handshake. “Billy,” he replied.

“Hargrove?”

“Jesus,” he scoffed involuntarily, releasing Steve’s large hand. His weight shifted over his feet. “Everybody knows everything here.”

“Not everything,” Steve said. His voice sounded...reassuring? But the way his eyes blinked...and a darkness slipped behind his eyes like a curtain. Adults liked to call it maturity. Wisdom beyond years. Billy called it ghosts. Everyone had ghosts behind their eyes. But...he had a hard time imagining what ghosts this pretty senior in suburban America would already have.

Then again, Billy knew better.

Except, as the party progressed and the weekend flowed into a new week, Billy really couldn’t imagine what made Steve slouch a little, and what made his eyes fade out of a conversation. Billy probably should have put more attention into how much he’d begun seeking the guy out.

He worked in the ice cream parlor at the mall. The uniform was equal measures ridiculous and hilarious, but his coworker was cool as hell. Robin. Not Steve’s girlfriend, even though they carpooled to work and community college.

Steve’s house proved just as luxurious as Tina’s, with a pool to boot. A house which supposedly stayed empty more often than it hosted its own family. Steve notoriously didn’t host parties, which....seemed uniquely odd.

Apart from Billy visiting the ice cream shop, it seemed Steve’s only other visitors were high school freshman. Which was weird. That’s weird, right? Then again, Billy was ball and chained to eight hours a day, five days a week to high school. There was plenty of time for Steve to be with friends his own age.

Except he showed up at the next party on Halloween.

Tina’s house boasted a surprising number of Hawkins graduated seniors, forcing the party all the way out onto the street.

Just like before, Steve manifested beside Billy, announcing himself with fingertips brushing his slowly growing, weak little mullet. “Growing that out?”

Steve’s already heavy eyelids were heavier with alcohol. Billy had his customary cup of beer, but his cheeks flushed for a different reason. He had to rub the back of his neck to make the tickle stop.

“Yeah. Maybe it’ll touch my shoulders next year.”

“Have you trimmed it?”

Billy frowned at him. He’d heard some things come out of Steve’s mouth that were endearing in a ‘bless his heart’ kind of way, and this was among them. “No, that defeats the point of making it longer.”

Steve shook his head and waved for him to follow. “Come here. I’ll trim it.”

“You’re not cutting my hair,” Billy scoffed. And followed.

Upstairs.

Billy did his best not to look around the living room; to see any eyes apart from the ones he imagined on his backside. He followed at a leisurely pace. Not eager to be with King Harrington anywhere...

The guy walked right into the closed master bedroom. Billy stood outside of it, stunned at his audacity and the fact that no one was inside it already - 

“You coming?”

Billy’s not a coward -

Actually he is. But he’s an overeager sophomore with a dangerous crush even more.

Steve dug through the master bathroom’s drawers until he found a pair of scissors in their own case. “Sit on the tub.”

By tub, he meant jacuzzi edge. Billy perched. Steve gripped his shoulder to step into the tub with a comb that smelled of foreign hair product and aftershave. Billy’s nose wrinkled. “Wash that first.”

Then he jumped at the tub faucet turning on right beside his ass. Steve laughed. “Chill out. I’m washing it.”

Billy settled with a disgruntled shake of his head. “My hair is curly. You’re not supposed to brush it at all.”

“You’re in the hands of The Hair Harrington, sweetheart. Just relax.”

His shoulders sagged right underneath the weight of sweetheart.

I’m so screwed - 

Of all people to show up in the doorway, Robin from Scoops showed up with an energy that insinuated more sobriety than the guy wielding scissors.

Her mouth hung open like she had come with something to say, but then she sputtered through laughter. “Oh shit. Are you consenting to this?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “If he cuts my ear, I’m beating his ass.”

“I’d appreciate more faith from you, Buckley. I cut your bangs for you.”

Billy chirped, “Really?” admittedly feeling a bit better.

Steve intercepted with the order, “Are you gonna play music or what? I’m so tired of Tina’s music.”

That’s how Billy wound up in a bathroom with college freshmen trimming his ends and styling his hair while Steve and Robin shout-sang to Whitney Houston.

It was great.

Steve curled the top of his hair so he had ringlets falling over his bold brows. Steve, who had his hands all over Billy’s head until he washed the hair down the drain and filled the tub for a bubble bath. Billy scrutinized himself with a handheld mirror until Steve wrapped his arms around him and they tumbled backward into the wet landing.

Tina was hardly pleased to find the three of them making a mess of the jacuzzi, but she sassed a quick thank you for warding off people trying to fuck in her parents’ bed. Billy didn’t have words; only laughter at Robin putting her hair into a wet mohawk and Steve piling bubbles onto his head.

Steve insisted they go back to his house afterward. “It’s November and we’re soaked. Your car will be fine. I can come back and park it in my driveway if you’re that worried.”

That wasn’t the problem.

“It’s fine that your parents are never home, but mine will only recently lifted my curfew for good behavior.”

Somehow, he convinced Steve and Robin to drive him back to his house, at the expense of letting them change at Steve’s first. Billy had his eyes on a beautiful Camaro and was just a few more months of allowance and part time jobs away from having her.

It was his first time in Steve’s house. He had to admit, he preferred Tina’s layout and decor, but he got to wander around. He saw Robin use one of the guest rooms. He saw Steve’s....incredibly boring room. And said as much.

“A prison cell has more personality.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. Are you ready to go?”

It wasn’t until Billy lay in his own bed that those words tumbled through his brain. His fingertips moved through his still-styled hair. It felt better with those dead ends gone. Steve did a good job. Steve liked Whitney Houston and Blondie and a little of everything, really. Steve cared about his appearance enough to be a self-taught stylist.

Steve didn’t have a lot of furniture in his room. Clutter on the dresser and desk, sure, but all of it monochrome or neutral colors. Steve who had an old BMW, house, and surely a bank account to match, but didn’t buy anything in excess. Like he wasn’t allowed to, or something. Billy indulged every scent he got on things he wanted, but Steve didn’t.

Steve had a nailed bat in his trunk. Billy heard it rolling around on their way back to his house, and finally bent over to look under the seats and saw it.

Steve was a walking contradiction. A contradiction who smelled good but didn’t say much when Billy and Robin talked about history. Who started giving Billy free ice cream but never asked about Billy’s stepsister. Who gave Billy rides and gave him the hookup to the high-paying neighbors of Loch Nora for mowed lawns and dogs walked.

Steve helped him get his car sooner than he would’ve otherwise but didn’t ask for anything in return.

Steve, who was always available for a good time, but looked sad when left with his thoughts.

Billy didn’t take well to not being the center of attention. He’d grown up with an interrogation lamp over his head, and sought positive interaction everywhere else. He got so much of it from Steve, that the occasions where Steve bumped against him...refused him, or ignored him, or reminded Billy that he was a rinky dink sophomore lit a match in his belly. And he’d swallowed gasoline for too much of his life.

“That’s something a virgin says.”

Billy couldn’t even remember what he’d just said. He was already, instantly, seeing the glow of embers on the fringe of his vision. “Excuse me?”

Steve shrugged as he got up from his couch. “It’s whatever. It’s fine. Just showing your hand, is all.”

Billy couldn’t believe it. Steve was either the biggest idiot in Hawkins - which he knew wasn’t true considering there was a real cesspool that smoked underneath the bleachers - or he was so far in denial that Billy had a whole new reason to be pissed.

An involuntary sound left Steve when Billy came up behind him and pushed him against the wall underneath the stairs.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

Billy wasn’t some cute sophomore. He stood toe to toe with Steve, barely an inch shorter. If this is what it took for Steve to realize that, fine.

To realize that Billy wasn’t some teenager scared shitless of a girls’ bra -

Steve regained his footing, and closed the distance between their mouths. It was small, soft, and brief. Rationality should have made Billy step away. Punch him, maybe. But Billy wasn’t rational. His shock held him statuesque, barely breathing while Steve moved a hand to cradle the side of his head and neck -

A sound left Billy this time, as Steve angled his mouth over Billy’s. Where he learned Billy was scared, so scared of Steve. His body dashed rationality against the wall and kissed him back tentatively, and then earnestly, just trying to keep up until Steve’s other hand framed him in. As Steve pushed against him until Billy walked backwards to have himself pressed against the wall.

He felt drunk as his hands let go of Steve’s shirt to hold onto the curvature of his ribs. He panted while Steve kissed his throat and washed Billy’s senses with his warm, sweet fragrance; his hair brushing Billy’s face and inspiring him to turn his face into Steve’s scalp. Inhale him into his lungs.

Billy didn’t know what game they were playing. But Steve outplayed him.

[becomingbts]

Find a Way (15)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: angst-fluff-supernatural-series

Warning(s): deals with suicide and death. If you’re not comfortable with that subject, I suggest you don’t read it. Supernatural au.

3.2k

Summary: “If you accept, you’ll go back in time each time you’ll fail.” “I don’t care, I’ll save her no matter what.”

In 2011, he left everything behind so that he could follow his dreams. Yet, he also left his bestfriend, the one who supported him to go to the auditions, the one who cheered on him, the one who brought him banana milk when he felt down, but also the one who killed herself a day before he finally came back home.

Notes: Hello everyone! It’s been a while since I updated this series, I’m so sorry!! I keep on trying to finalize proofreading and then I get stuck and forget for a while, but I hope you’ll like this new chapter! I plan on trying to make more consistent update as we’re nearing the end of the story! I hope you’ll enjoy it!! Take well care everyone, love you lots!

Admin Dolly

Chapter 14 - here - Chapter 16

Fourth Timeline

"She what?" Jungkook froze, unable to comprehend her words.

"My sister. She died in an airplane crash. She was supposed to come back today from her school trip. I... I was supposed to t-take her home tonight," Jungkook's eyes widened as it finally made sense; it suddenly clicked. The postcard from France, (Y/N)'s sudden departure from work, the fact that no one knew where she had gone... It was all because her sudden departure for Seoul had never been planed this early. She was supposed to leave after work, only during the afternoon to fetch her sister.

Jungkook put his confusion aside even if it finally started making sense; he had to support her, it was more important than him trying to put the puzzle's piece together. 

"A-are you alright?" He tentatively asked even if he already knew the answer to the question.

"How am I supposed to be? The only person that stuck to me my whole life just left. How am I supposed to be alright? I swore to protect her with everything that I had-"

"Hey, hey, hey (Y/N) it's not your faul-" she cut him abruptly.

"I could have prevented it from happening!! I should have told her no from the very beginning when she asked me if she could go on that trip, I should have said no! I could have done somet-"

"(Y/N), it's not your fault, listen to me," she went quiet after his sudden yell, startled. His own eyes had also widened, bewildered by the volume of his own voice, yet he knew that he had to cut her rambling. Self-blaming would not help anyone, her sister would sadly remain deceased. How could she blame herself for agreeing to a trip? Of course, she would agree. Jungkook knew better than anyone else that (Y/N) always had to skip school trips because she never got the means for it. It was a given that she would say yes to her sister. "It's not your fault, you wanted her to be happy and not to miss trips like you did when we were younger right?" She looked away briefly and Jungkook got the confirmation he needed. Even if they didn't speak for years, he just knew her and he could tell that she probably used all her savings for her sister to go. (Y/N) had never had the possibility to go on school trips when both of them were younger. When her parents had died, she received monetary help but never got enough to go on trips with the whole class. The provided financial help was supposed to support her in her studies and for her future. School trips were usually deemed as comfort and not as a  need. Hence, she had always been left behind while Jungkook had made it his mission to take a lot of pictures for her and to bring her back a present from each trip they made. It always made her smile and Jungkook could still remember the way she cried the first time he brought her back a little present. So it only made sense for her to do everything for her sister to enjoy school trips the way she had dreamed to. "You didn't want her to miss on anything like you had to, right? You only wanted her happiness, how could it be your fault when you only wanted to make her happy?" Jungkook took a step in her direction and for once, she didn't move away. However, her teary eyes refused to meet his and she snorted quietly at his words.

"And yet, it only brought misfortune. Her last moments were in a hospital when she should have had a much longer life. Yet, her lifeless body was lying there, leaving me all alone." She smiled bitterly, tears rolling on her cheeks as she finally let her despair overwhelm her. Wincing at the sight of her tears, Jungkook tried to push his own heartbreak aside to comfort her as he closed the distance between them and draped his arms over her small frame, engulfing her in his warm embrace, trying to console her as much as he could. He didn't know if he could help considering their broken relationship, but if he could, at least this one time, be a shoulder for her to cry, then so be it.

"I'm sorry it happened to the both of you, I'm sorry for your loss (Y/N)." He let his hand wander through her hair, bringing her head closer to him as he tried to hide his own tears. "I'm so, so, sorry."

"I was so happy that t-today would be the l-last day without h-her," she nuzzled her nose against the crook of his neck, seeking warmth and comfort even if nothing but the cold wind was surrounding them. Jungkook felt like her warmth was so far away, her own presence seemed to hold no warmth. Nothing was right, nothing between them was alright, she wanted to hate him for leaving, to hit him for destroying what they had, but if for five minutes she could finally have someone, stay close to him, she would pretend. Pretend that they were fine, that he still was her home.

"W-why did you have to leave?" She whispered as reality crashed down on her. Now she was alone and maybe they would never be fine again. Maybe she would never be alright again.

"I'm sorry (Y/N) if I could take it all back, I would."  He mumbled, fully knowing that he couldn't, but he still hoped that he could make it right this time.

"She had promised me that s-she'd never leave me alone as you did." She hiccuped and Jungkook's heart broke at her quiet confession. Her voice was so quiet that he had to focus to properly hear her words as if worried that he would disappear if someone were to hear her.

"And she would have never left if she could have helped it. (Y/N), you were her dearest person. When we were younger, she threatened to kick me out of the house if I ever made you cry (Y/N)," it hurt, and her heart truly had other things to think about but she still smiled a bit hearing his words.

"She told me yeah," Jungkook whipped his own tears quietly before (Y/N) could notice them, "once you left, she didn't even try to keep her hatred for you silent." He sighed with a small smile, imagining well that her younger sister probably didn't try to keep her words sweet, he wondered what she told (Y/N) but he shook his curiosity away.

"Let's leave that bridge, yeah? We should get you somewhere warm, you're frozen." He was rubbing his arms against hers, noting again how cold she was. Hoping that it was only because of the cold, Jungkook let his eyes meet hers and he could see the distance she tried to keep between them.

"I-I don't really want to stay with you, to be honest." She pushed him gently, avoiding eye contact again. She didn't want to sound miserable and neither did she want to sound mean, but the only thought of staying near him suddenly made her shiver. It was hard to suddenly have someone back in her life when she didn't have him for years. She had believed that she would never have him back, and now that she lost half of her soul, she didn't know how to welcome him again. Did she even want to? She wasn't sure, all she knew was that she didn't want for him to be around today. Her head was hurting; she wanted to go to sleep.

"I can understand that," Jungkook's smile slowly vanished as his concern grew. He could understand that she didn't want to spend time with him, yet he still hoped that he would be able to look after her a little longer. However, it didn't seem to be in her plans for now. Again, he totally could understand that as much as it stung, but he still wished that he had more time to watch over her.

"Would you like me to find you a hotel room for tonight? I don't think that it would be wise for you to drive in your emotional state." He asked, already bothered by the idea of her driving. It couldn't be safe for her to drive now. He wouldn't force her to stay with him, but he could always pay for a hotel room for her. He would never mind for her.

"I'm okay... I'll be okay. I... I'll have to. Thank you for... I don't really know, thank you though." She returned her glance as he took her hand into his, rubbing his thumb against her palm, soothingly trying to comfort her. He didn't know how to provide support. She had changed so much and so did their relationship. He didn't know what was okay and what wasn't anymore. Jungkook guessed that he only had himself to blame for that, yet he wished he knew her more so that he could encourage her better. Everything was different from the time she lost her parents and Jungkook felt incompetent to actually help her properly. But he would try his best. He didn't come so far only to give up now.

"I know I haven't been here for the last year's, I've been the shittiest friend that you probably ever had if we don't count Ana-"

"Of course you weren't worse than her, find someone from your size-" she almost laughed a bit as he said the name of 'Ana'. She had been a friend of (Y/N) for some months before she realized that she was trying to basically initiate her to drugs. She had overlooked a lot of red flags for that girl even if she realized rather quickly that a lot was wrong between them. Her sister and Jungkook had greatly encouraged her to cut ties quickly; (Y/N) smiled at the thought. Maybe Jungkook would help remind her of all the happy times she got with her sister before she lost her. She wouldn't let herself depend on him again, but if he could alleviate her pain, even just a little, who was she to take it away from herself?

"Of course I wasn't, thank you for acknowledging that; if you ever tell me that I was worse than her, I would start questioning my whole existence." He smiled back at her, keeping her hands warm as he rubbed them in his.

"You're not that far from her you know?" He almost laughed at her attempt of teasing. Nothing was alright, but maybe if life started being kinder with her, she could start healing. Jungkook would never have the pretentiousness of thinking that he would be her remedy; he had done too much damage already. However, maybe he could be a painkiller. And if he had the opportunity to help and ease her pain, he would do anything for her.

"I'm offended, but I'll act as if I didn't hear that," he smiled warmly at her, "as I was saying, I'm probably the last person that you'd like to contact, but please, come to me if you ever need to. I know I've been shitty. I have gone against everything I always said I'd never become, but I'll try to make up for everything, I maybe won't ever be able to fill up the gap I created between us, but I'll try to be the friend that I've never been, and even if you don't want me to, it's okay, I can bear with us being only acquaintance, I just want you to be happy. I know it's going to be hard, you're probably living your worst nightmare, but please. You're not alone. I can be here if you want me to... If you allow me to. I'm a phone call away, I swear. No more empty promise, I'll make them all worth it. If you don't trust me, I can understand but p-please, just.." he was at a loss of words. He had so much to say and he felt like he wasn't conveying any of it. Jungkook felt like he would never find the good words and he hated it. His promises felt empty even to him, but he meant all of them! He had to get it right, he had to find the words. If he didn't, when would he ever make it right again? However, before he could continue, (Y/N) interrupted him, much to Jungkook's surprise.

"I hope you know that your words will have weight, right?" She asked, unsure of what to say after his speech.

"I know. And I'll bear it this time. Here take this, it's my number, feel free to take it or throw it. Just... Yeah, do whatever you want, the choice is yours, but my words are not empty this time. I mean them. I'm here for you whatever happens." She weirdly still had her hand in his as he gave her the piece of paper he had so carefully prepared earlier this day.

"Did you prepare this in advance?" Her question panicked him a bit, yet she didn't leave room for his answer, "thank you for saying this." She was obviously shaken and he hated himself for not being able to help more. "I should get my car." She finally broke the contact, leaving his arms with a sad smile, and he hoped that it didn't mean that it would be the end. It couldn't, he needed for her to be strong and to go on even if it would be hard.

"Let's meet someday, yeah?" Jungkook hesitated but he asked anyway, hopeful.

"Maybe, yeah." She nodded one last time before leaving, walking away under his warm eyes while he truly hoped that she would be alright. He watched her until she disappeared at the next corner and he finally let out a breath that he had not realized he was holding.

He had broken the loop. (Y/N) was alive, she made it.

Even though her healing process would probably be long and painful, she would at least live, and it was all that mattered. She had his number, the choice would be hers to text him or not. Jungkook prayed for her to take it, he hoped that she wouldn't throw it but he couldn't force her to call him either. He glanced at his phone as he felt it vibrating inside his pocket and he wondered which one of his brothers tried to contact him. However, as he checked his notifications, he already had a notification from (Y/N). Jungkook had already saved her number as he remembered it from the previous timeline, so as he saw her name on his tiny screen, he almost giggled aloud in the middle of the street.

The message wasn't long, nor was it saying that she wanted to see him again. No, instead, she had sent a brief "Hi, it's (Y/N)" but it was enough for him to feel his heartbeat accelerate like crazy, pounding against his chest as he rubbed one hand over his heart in a poor attempt to soothe it down. She had taken on his offer. (Y/N) had contacted him, and even though it didn't mean that they would meet soon or that it was going to be easy to be forgiven or for her to ever trust him again, he would perhaps have a chance and it made him giddy. He couldn't help the smile that grew on his lips. Relief flowed within himself. 

She would make it, he would make sure of it. He had to be there for her from now on. He smiled at the possibilities that he could finally think of without feeling his stomach twist uneasily; he could maybe introduce her to his members, maybe take her somewhere nice for a simple walk at night and other things that he dearly missed doing with her. They could go to restaurants, go shopping, even making tourists things. Jungkook didn't care, he'd break every single rule made by bighit if it included her happiness at the end.

So much was now possible and he couldn't keep at bay the excitement that overtook him. He would treasure her the way she deserved. He would man up and not ruin his promises again.

He had to protect her the best way he could. His eyes shut tightly as he remembered what she told him, the final missing piece of the puzzle. Her sister died, it was so strange to imagine it. She died so young, it was unfair. How could sure a pure soul be taken away so easily? Jungkook had tried to push his own shock away the fastest he could because he had known that she would need someone to lean on, not someone who would break after the news, so he had tried to shake it off as long as he was in front of her, yet the reality was now taking a toll on him. (S/N) died, leaving a broken older sister behind; a sister that would have given her life to trade with her if she had been able to.

Jungkook sighed. The news shocked him too, maybe he had never been close to her, but he saw that girl grow up too. He knew her even though she wasn't keen on him, he still knew her pretty well, and it hurt to know that he would never see or speak with her ever again. He had expected to meet her, to have to explain, to face an insurmountable wall that would be the biggest hardship between him and (Y/N), however, she would actually never be there anymore and the realization almost brought him to tears. He wasn't close to her, but she had still been a constant of his childhood. Jungkook felt like something had been stripped away from him despite him expecting to be less affected. Sometimes, death left an unspeakable void, even when one didn't expect it.

Jungkook could only imagine how (Y/N) felt. She had been her entire world, they used to be a duo, an unbreakable one. Yet, fate visibly had other plans and Jungkook wondered why was life so terrible with (Y/N). He sighed again, rubbing his temples a bit, everything was slightly too overwhelming for him. He tried to relax his mind thinking of (Y/N), trying to remember her small smile. She would be okay and it wasn't a mere detail. He finally broke the loop. He did the first step. 

Or so he thought as he suddenly and roughly woke up, sweating and panting.

Why the hell did he get back to his starting point?

Frozen into place, Jungkook looked around and immediately recognized his room. He suddenly jolted awake, mindlessly looking for his phone to check the date. As he found it, Jungkook got blinded by the screen but his eyes widened as he read the date on his screen. He was back to square one.

29th April.

The day of (Y/N)'s death.