#and too exhausted by previous failures to try starting my own

[stargirl-writes]

[chapter two] the secret history of anakin skywalker

the arrangement

pairing : assasin! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 2.8k

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sypnosis

you have only known one truth about this war, the republic and the seperatists are two sides of the same coin. but now, your master count dooku has disposed of you after your consequent failures. his betrayal fueled your thirst for revenge. and in the cruel twist of fate, you have found yourself with an arrangement with the enemy. general anakin skywalker is willing to do what it takes for the republic to win, even if it meant dealing with you, his nemesis.

chapter summary

after your old master has betrayed you, you were captured by the jedi general skywalker. stricken by the grief, you resigned to your faith.

on the way back to coruscant to face republic jurisdiction, a sniper has fired in open space. taking general obi-wan kenobi down.

in a fit of anger, anakin skywalker accuses you. but you have already made up your mind in taking revenge on your old master. and even though you are terrified, you struck up an arrangement to aid anakin's mission to find obi-wan kenobi's true killer.

warnings : involves spoilers for star war's 'the clone wars' season 4, episode 15. violence, mentions of symptoms of ptsd, imprisonment, and betrayal.

notes : honestly did not think so many will like an enemies-to-lovers trope with a.s. so thank you for supporting this little fic of mine !

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Anakin Skywalker has taken you.

Even on the way back to Coruscant— He kept glancing back to peek towards the back of his ship, just to check whether he was only making it up. And every time, his gaze meets your hollowed eyes. This... rivalry between the two of you— started along the war. The valiant General, and you, the most prized assassin. You'd always slip out of his grasp— which made him assume that he always won, that arrogant bastard.

Now, he has captured you. And you wished you could wipe that expression of pride painted in his face. It was the bitter reminder of your doom.

You've done everything to keep your fire going.

Be smarter. Be more cunning. Offer yourself at the feet of a Master you didn't even entirely believe in. Give more, more, more... And because you have been so fueled, you have somehow allowed it to burn you too— leaving nothing but ashes of what little of you remains.

Your eyes land on your reflection. Warped, unrecognizable, full of dread. The shackles around your wrist glint— they were designed to restrain you from accessing the Force. A measure Skywalker ensured. You thought, at least he thinks you still have a fight left in you.

Without the Force, you felt your compartmentalized traumas resurface. And you feel yourself sinking into depths you can't reach. It all seemed like a cruel ending. Maybe— at this point, you thought, you deserved it too.

"Alright Snips, You head on to the Temple, I'll have to attend to some things first," You heard Skywalker tell his Padawan.

"Are you sure you don't need my help, Master?"

You peeked through the opening of the back window, the ship landed in Coruscant. 

"Nothing I can't handle"

You could almost make out that stupid grin on the Jedi.

Cocky bastard.

The divider opens, and you decided you were too exhausted to be annoyed. You didn't try to fight when Skywalker's hand clasps on your arm, leading you out.

You step down to the hangar. Your thoughts kept pouring in a wretched excess.

Let it all end.

There must be some mercy left for you—

Maker, make it easy.

Like falling asleep— not like this, a lifetime kept, left in the prisons of my own mind.

Your hands trembled— it felt so cold...

Coruscant had always been warm, you blinked, trying to see clearly through the fog in your mind. The restlesness, the guilt, the betrayal. The shock of it all was only setting now.

"You're late," Obi-Wan Kenobi stood along five clone soldiers by the hangar.

"What could possibly be more urgent than my precious cargo?"

You glared at Skywalker. He huffed a laugh, tilting his chin to look down on you.

One...

Two...

Three...

You defiantly held his gaze, not giving him the satisfaction of thinking you feel defeated.

"I'll say— I was surprised by your news." Kenobi gets in between, "Hello, there,"

You let out a sigh, pressing your eyes close, not finding the energy to spite back. It'd be pointless anyway.

"Commander Cody will take the Wraith back now, we must head on to the Temple" The older Jedi instructs after noting your silence.

Skywalker's grip on you didn't falter. Kenobi's eyes narrow on his former Padawan's hesitation. "I was planning to take her myself," Skywalker declares, "Besides, she is good at escaping."

Kenobi's eyes remained on his old Padawan. "Come along now, Anakin, we're required, and you're already late as it is."

You saw Skywalker try to challenge his Master's command. If it had been Dooku, he wouldn't even be able to mutter a word again.His eyes land on yours, and you can't make out the expression on his face. "Alright," He recedes.

You felt the wind brush past the spot where Skywalker had let go of you. Maker— it was so cold, you kept your head low, trying to contain the way your lips were quivering.

A blaster shoots off— and you duck. Your eyes scan the direction where it came from.

Behind, beyond sight. You hear Skywalker curse, then another goes off and three lightsabers ignite. Your hand instinctively reaches for yours, but it was bound behind you and you're defenseless. The clone soldiers swarm your vision.

"Any idea where that came from?" You heard Kenobi speak.

Ahsoka Tano points to the direction you were looking at. The sniper fires, the clone in front of you falls. "Flank him to the right, Ahsoka cover the streets," The older Jedi decisively commands.

"Don't keep your eyes off of her!" Skywalker commands as he speeds past the clone in front of you.

The shots halted and all three Jedi were running. With all of them gone— An opportunity presents itself at your feet.

An escape.

'...I recall you seem to excel at' Skywalker's taunts slips in your mind.

There were only four clones left. Even without your saber, you can outmaneuver them— they share... a predictability. You only need a distraction. Your gaze lands on the blaster the clone was holding. You could set one off to fire— You focused on the trigger, centering your mind... just one distraction.

To your dismay, you realize you have forgotten that the cuffs in your hand are preventing you from wielding the force. So, at a loss of options, you headbutt the clone in front, then scrouching down aiming for the other clones' ankles. Two of them fall back, and you leap.

Your body paralyzes. You turn to find the fourth clone with a stun gun pointed at you and your vision gives up on you.

You jolt awake, heart thudding, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, and your mind fogged.

An escape, almost...

An ache accumulated from the base of your skull, you ran your fingertips over it— trying to soothe the tension and recalling the events that transpired.Right, you were knocked out by a stun.

You surveyed your surroundings, surprised your hands were free, but to your dismay find that force-restraining cuffs were still wrapped around each wrist.

The room was bleak. Four white walls, illuminated by a window that had been too high. A table and a chair towards the far end, a bedside table, and a bed where you were laying.

This isn't a prison, you thought suspiciously. You straightened your back, sprawling your legs out of the bed.

The last you remembered— the three Jedi that have captured you, have sprinted to follow a sniper. A sniper that took down one of the clones, missing you.

Missed. A sniper would not miss unless, unless you weren't the target.

Your mind has somehow considered that maybe that sniper was someone aiming to  give you an allowance. An option to flee. You knew your Master—old master has hired many bounty hunters before.

Perhaps he wanted you to escape...

You blinked— not wanting to think furthermore, because then, you'll hope. He has disposed of you, that remains the only truth that mattered.

From the window, you could tell it was still day. You started at the door— locked, as you anticipated. Then you searched the table, then the underside of the mattress, then finally, the bedside table. You didn't exactly know what you were looking for— any indicator, or any material to defend yourself with.

The person keeping you was thorough. They ensured that your cuffs were impossible to crack, they wanted to make you powerless. So, you kept the thin scrap of metal you found behind the table as a measure— it would not be a good weapon, but you can't entirely let go of your instinct to have something.

Better than having nothing at all.

You sat down the edge of the table in defeat. Perhaps you were in a den of the undergrounds of Coruscant— this cell was too secured to have been just a normal one.

With nothing else to occupy your mind, the earlier thought resurfaced. A rescue...

From ordering your death to wanting to free you. Something is not adding up here. Besides, you knew your Master's extensive moves and countermoves to interpret these events simply.

If he was indeed disposing of you, he'd have done it himself. You think he'd deem you to deserve at least a fight. But he didn't. He must've made you believe he betrayed you to put you exactly where he wanted you to be.

A shudder ran down your spine. Because at the moment, you really had believed he'd gone on to just cut you off. And you still felt bitter that if this was all according to his grand plan, he'd let you stay in the dark. He allowed you to think it was real. Did he not trust you enough?

Must be part of a large scheme... you concluded.

The sound of the door sliding open makes you rise to your feet. Anakin Skywalker steps in your cell.

Your eyes narrow at the revelation. Half-expecting a Republic Officer to be in charge of you.

There was a new sharpness emanating from him, cold, dangerous, even his eyes were dark. You inch backward, slowly, aiming to get near that rod you found earlier without turning your back against him.

Skywalker doesn't speak and your shoulders tense. His glare burns your skin— it doesn't need sensing his Force signature to feel his anger. You didn't blink, bracing yourself, waiting, horrified that you were so defenseless.

"Obi-Wan's dead."

Your breath hitches— Kenobi? Taken down by a sniper? Has that been Dooku's plan along?

"You..." Your thoughts were halted by Skywalker's slurred voice.

"You did this." He accuses.

You try to swallow your fear but your throat closes. You have never seen Skywalker so— dismantled and you've no means to defend yourself when you'll inevitably be subjected to his rage.

"Skywalker," You step back once more. "I didn't do it."

"No... I knew when I caught you that you were up to something. You wouldn't just give yourself in. You... You killed him!" Skywalker's voice was booming with anger.

You didn't hesitate to scrouch down and grab the metal. Skywalker marches forward, your heart skips, what you're holding will not withstand a lightsaber. You scramble backwards, Skywalker ignites his weapon, casting a light of your perceivable future.

"Listen, I didn't kill Kenobi, you were with me the entire time!" You tried to implore some logic onto the jedi.

Skywalker remains unconvinced. Then, the realization hits you, this wasn't a prison— not by the Republic. Anakin Skywalker was the one keeping you, convinced that you were the one to kill his master. If you somehow died here, no one would even know. He'd kept you here to bring justice he thought the Republic would not pass to you.

Skywalker charges, you leap. You stumble backwards, making use of every space you could establish between you and his rage. He presses forward once more and you block his lightsaber. The rod melted in contact, your eyes widened at his strength.

"Skywalker, I didn't kill Kenobi— the reason you even got a hold of me was because Dooku tried to kill me." You struggle to fight off the weight of his saber.

Then, he pauses, the weapon still dangerously close to your neck. You saw his eyes flicker. A hesitation.

You could use that.

"He betrayed me, left me for dead. I don't know who killed Kenobi, but it was not me."

You can't hide the hurt covering your words— for despite it all, your Master has betrayed you.

Skywalker slowly brings his lightsaber down and you finally let go of the breath you didn't know you were holding. You looked down, quickly brushing away the tears that indicated how truly terrified you were.

You force yourself to look at the Jedi once more— half fearing that his anger would resurface.

He was blinded by rage— something you have never seen him display before.

"Dooku has abandoned you?" Skywalker's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Yes," You admitted, voice strained and covered with some sort of shame.

Your jaws clenched, eyes flicking up, wondering if her answer could merit a question. "I'm not in prison, aren't I?"

Skywalker's attention had been on your fingers, noticing the way it twitched. You balled it into fists behind you.

Skywalker's lightsaber foils back. "No, you aren't."

A shudder runs down your spine. So, he did intend to keep you here. Has the Jedi been involved with this? They'd never be so vindictive... Perhaps he was doing this entirely on his own. You can't decide which one is worse.

"I did not kill your Master."

In this light— you could see that it wasn't a Jedi that wanted vengeance, he was a boy grieving for his Master. You'd forget how young he was sometimes. He was no older than two years compared to you.

"But I know Dooku would've wanted to. If it had been a sniper, then he'd hire a bounty hunter, he's done it before." You lead on.

"I can help you,"

Skywalker's expression turns that of a mask, fiending his anger into a composed exterior "Why would you think I'd trust you?"

You stood straight, assuming that posture of a fighter, pushing down the fear. "You don't have to"

You threaded carefully on what you knew; he wanted to avenge his master, you can capitalize on that. "You've taken me here because you thought Republic jurisdiction isn't enough to avenge your master"

Skywalker purses his lips, you wait for him to deny his intentions but instead gets met by his hardened gaze.

"You want justice. As do I, it seems we have a common enemy." You declared.

You were standing very close, you could make out the tissues covering the scar on his face.

"And what will you get out of this?" Skywalker considers.

A way back. Something whispers from within.

"My freedom. I want a pardon. When I kill Dooku, I don't want to be part of this war anymore"

Skywalker apprehends you, you wished you could have some access to the Force to read him, but you could only wait...

"No." he shakes his head.

You fought the panic arising from deep within you. For a moment— you doubted yourself. The thought of having rot in Coruscant, an endless agony of being kept, slipping your mind. A moment.

He saw you

And you saw him see you.

"You can't expect me to believe you won't come running back to Dooku when you have the chance,"

His words stung.

Right... that had been your intention, and when he says it like that, it feels foolish. You were like a dog going back to its Master after he kicked it. Even the assumption of a grand plan, of your master wanting to rescue you... was only an assumption. He still left you.

"You haven't been betrayed before," You looked down— your initial hope twisting into something ravenous, a thirst for revenge.

You felt Skywalker's survey you. Like he had been calculating whether it was a risk he'd take. You could only hope his desire for revenge would suffice.

"Your freedom?" He speaks up after a while.

You thought it might have sounded futile— you didn't even consider wanting it until you've faced someone who can hand it to you. You didn't know if there is a life for you outside the war. It seemed as though Anakin Skywalker was buying your excuse, so you'd have to hold on to that.

"I have nothing to go back to." You answered. A truth. Truths have to be sacrificed to convince him of one lie.

Skywalker nods. You saw the faint color of his eyes— you thought, he might try to conceal how he feels but his eyes will always reveal him.

"When all of this is done, no one can know." He names his terms. You nod.

His eyes lingered on yours— you didn't falter.

Outside of what you know of him; you've never really taken notice of how ambiguous his methods are in pursuing his interests. It's quite... appalling. His Jedi Council will never allow it, you wonder how much he has done that he kept from them.

After a while, he straightens his posture— like he was trying to erase the conflict you saw.

"I'll come tomorrow," He says before stepping to the door, disappearing from your sight.

Your mind raced on the things you have somehow agreed to.

In a cruel twist of fate, you have found yourself shaking hands with your enemy.

You have survived, but you have not been spared.

taglist : @etheriaaly @nyaaaaa008

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist and be notified when the next chap comes out 🫶

© to @cafekitsune for the borders

[valsurfav]

Cullinggames!Kashimo x Reader

(( My bad if this isn't good enough Kyro, I'm exhausted and I don't know much on Kashimo cause idc about him... also y/n is kinda rude and boring, like this fic, because i find it funny ))

Kashimo was bored out of his mind. He had fourty points, sure, but no opponent he had faced had interested him. Those who did put up a fight were still easily beaten by him, therefore making him lose his previous excitement for the Culling Games.

That all changed when a specific name continued to be called out by the shikigami, Kogane, that served as the game's instructor.

That name was yours, and you had definitely caught Kashimo's eye. He was starting to believe that he had found a worthy opponent, other than Sukuna.

-----------------------------------------------------

Kashimo had wandered around the area for a while now, looking for recent signs of battle or an ongoing fight. He was tracking you down, now intent on fighting you, and he may have just struck gold.

Before him you stood, wielding a cursed weapon as you stood above another wounded sorcerer. There was a moment of silence before the instructor, Kogane, called out your name and announced that you had gained another point.

Kashimo was impressed, he thought that you had been yet another fraud (like gojo lmfao) but you seemed to have proved yourself to be more than worthy. He snapped his fingers to gain your attention, taking a couple more steps closer to you and then stopping.

“It's [Y/N], right? What incredible talent you have.”

You turned your attention to Kashimo, cocking an eyebrow at his comment on your skill. You weren't sure if you should feel threatened or proud within his presence.

With a quick shrug, you looked away from Kashimo and began to walk off – you didn't feel like fighting someone who quite obviously conducted electricity, that was just setting yourself up for failure.

However, you didn't make it too far when you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Kashimo's. A sigh escaped your lips as you were forced to pause, an inconvenience in your eyes but a blessing in Kashimo's.

“Don't run so soon, I just want to talk for a while.”

Kashimo was desperate to speak with you now, his grip tightening slightly on your arm when he felt you attempting to pull away. You had had just about enough, so you finally decided to talk.

“Let go of me, you freak. I'm not interested in talking to you.”

Your insult elicited a surprised chuckle from Kashimo, his own words faltering for a moment as he recovered. He hadn't expected to be shut down so quickly, but he still continued to try and make conversation.

“Hey, hey! What did I do to you, huh? Would you rather fight or something?”

Of course, fighting was the complete opposite of what you wanted. Like mentioned earlier, fighting someone with a technique that involves conducting electricity was a bad matchup for someone like you, who uses only cursed tools, due to your useless technique.

It took a lot of willpower for you to turn to Kashimo once more and reply. You just wanted to get on with what you were doing, worried that your current score would be overtaken by another contestant of the Culling Games.

“...No, I don't want to fight you. Just... Hurry up. What do you want from me?”

Kashimo grinned at your response, glad that you were finally willing to talk. Your slow reply had worried him, he had thought that you would want to fight after all. No, he wanted to find more about you before fighting – if you did end up that way, at least.

“All I want to know is how you got so... well, strong. I mean, you're almost overtaking my score, so surely you have to have some great technique?”

Kashimo let go of your arm, his hand falling back to his side. He prayed that you wouldn't run now you weren't being restricted, basically crossing his fingers. He had an expectant smile on his face, his eyebrow slightly raised in curiosity.

To his question, you didn't have much of a response. Your technique wasn't as 'great' as Kashimo probably imagined. So, as you explained it and the reason why you only use cursed tools, Kashimo's interest dropped a little.

He seemed disappointed that you were so... mundane? But he also seemed interested that you were different? His expression was a hard one to read.

In the end, once you had finished explaining, Kashimo nodded and took a step back. You did the same.

“That sounds boring. You're saying that you rely on cursed tools?”

You nodded back at him, and Kashimo let out a hum. He didn't know how to feel, and neither did you.

“I guess that's all I wanted to know. You're free to go, or we can fight. It's up to you.”

The option to fight was not a tempting one. You turned and walked, practically jogged, away from Kashimo – terrified with every step that you were about to be electrocuted.

(( IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS COMPLETELY BORING OR A DRAG I FORGOT THE ORIGINAL IDEA AND I HAD JUST RAN WITH MY FIRST THOUGHTS... ))

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 3: sketch 1

ed note from the future: this got long. its going mostly under a readmore for everyone's sake. and i didnt even finish sketching, just trying to explain what is going through my mind while trying to sketch. look, if i write down my process in exhausting detail people will realize im completely insane. this is a net benefit to anyone trying to interact with me in the future who thinks i can be reasoned with. community service. thank you for allowing me to post this shit lol

hmmm. giving up on the first few panels for right now. here's what i'm thinking about as i sketch this:

too many of my panels were talking heads or constantly relied on one point perspective. i have been trying to work against this for a while with mixed results. sometimes the result is so bad i have to scrap what i did and start over but sometimes it's "good enough for TV"* and i hit publish on it. no risks, no reward after all. can't get better if you don't try.

in this first panel, i have two people having a back and forth conversation through a weird magic hole in the floor/wall. maxine is laying on a couch with hole right above her head. homestar runner will demonstrate what i mean:

however, there are logistical problems with maxine that homestar runner doesnt have. maxine's right shoulder is dislocated, so she can't lay on that side, or any side that would put pressure on the joint. im realizing i don't actually know what position would be most comfortable in her situation or how she would instinctually arrange her body to avoid pain. i start looking up videos from physical therapists on how they recommend patients sleep for some ideas.

also i start looking up what women look like sleeping on couches. how does the human body fold up. because this isn't it.

anyway, this was my first effort with the first panels.

for reference, the last page ends like this:

the top left of the sketch would have been the hopi clown back on the shelf with the "camera" tilting above it to reveal maxine. while this keeps the relevant object from the previous page in frame as a piece of connective tissue between updates....i'm struggling to fit the second character in. the one talking from the hole. maybe there's still hope for this? it's not terrible. initially i nuked it but maybe i can make this work.

fuck! she needs a pillow or two to make this work. this video is right, that DOES look naturally comfortable compared to the standard fetal position that would pull the affected shoulder inward. i didn't draw any pillows into the stupid establishing shot of the office bc its not the kind of couch you are expected to sleep on!!! this is a man's business office!!! i thought i was so smart!!

basically every couch comes with decorative pillows though, and the shot of the room didn't include the wall the "camera" was up against. my 2-point perspective failure might have paid off here lol. if i can establish that the second character is talking through the hole, he can use his rayman hands to reach across the room and get the pillow for her. it can be part of his personal campaign to show maxine he means her no immediate harm. the pillows were just out of frame. lurking. ok let's try it again. uhhhh after i eat some lunch

---

*my friend kelly had an anecdote from working in animation that im going to retell badly from memory. her boss would take the work she labored over to meet by deadline and would laugh at it, saying "ah, its terrible! but good enough for TV". and while extremely mean, he had a salient point: it never has to be perfect. it just needs to be good enough to be seen. sometimes i seriously think about this anecdote when im dissatisfied with my own art. it's bad. but it's good enough for tv.

[nullians]

William James Moriarty willingly falling to Hell of his own making when being confronted by Sherlock

William James Moriarty who knows Sherlock has a point (“There isn’t a single thing in this world that can’t be undone!”, what a spectacular but also devastating lie you’re telling here Mr. Holmes!!) but who’s in too much pain and is too exhausted to be able to choose differently

(And oh my gods, Sherlock. Sherlock!! It’s true that William can still be saved but you’re saying that to a person who is. Examining his hands and seeing so much blood there!! Some things cannot be undone, people can’t be brought back to life! William cannot undo his Moriarty plan, the same way it couldn’t be anybody else but him to make it work anyways! AAAAAA)

William James Moriarty who falls to his death with a mocking smile and empty eyes because that is his final victory over Sherlock - to be the only one who dies for his grand scheme, to be the only one put to early rest, to not allow himself any other path than the one he has chosen so many years ago. He is right. He was never wrong. He will prove it.

(Save him)

(You cannot save me)

(Nobody should want to save me)

And Sherlock Holmes who in attempt to save him blunders through his words but ultimately takes the role of the devil himself, only he’s the temptator made solely for William. William is not wrong to call him the devil then. Sherlock is hurling words at him just to make him reconsider.

Take a moment to see how his words evolve. Sherlock comes to the scene starting off with stating how things are, how the people of London have all deemed William to be the devil. He then says the line about how things can still be undone. It’s an attempt to make William reconsider dying for real and instead going for a fake death. It obviously doesn’t work, if it could then Louis and Fred would’ve been able to change William’s mind without Sherlock.

Then Sherlock does a bit better by expressing how he’s not okay with just letting William die

(“You expect me to just stand by and watch as you go to your death?”)

but immediately fucks up with following with a taunt that’s crossing with William’s plan

(“Is dying the atonement that you’ve come up with for yourself? You’re just doing it to escape from your own suffering. Don’t use death as your escape! If you truly want to atone, then make the harder choice for yourself! Live and atone with your life for what you have done. Right? Isn’t that right, Liam?”)

+1 -2, he’s back to zero and then worse with this. William might want to hear that he’s important to Sherlock, but telling him to atone by living is akin to telling him that his pain doesn’t matter. It’s a failure of acknowledging just how much he’s suffering already. It’s a blunder. He immediately changes his approach and decides to jump off the bridge after this. It’s a clear “Fuck you” to Sherlock’s taunt.

And it would end there with him hearing “You stubborn jackass!” as Sherlock’s parting words but then Sherlock finally kinda breaks out of that initial anger he was aiming at him and lunges after him and manages to catch his hand. It becomes personal then. Sherlock is putting his own life at risk in order to save him.

And Sherlock realizes a few things there too, throwing his previous words out of the window and trying again with stating that no, he’s doing all this because William is his friend. He does a 180 saying “Living may hold nothing but bitterness for you, but the world that you are changing is going to be a world worth living in. I’m sure of it!”. It manages to 1) acknowledge the weight and pain that William shoulders, 2) tell William that Sherlock sees that the Moriarty Plan is/was a worthwhile effort, 3) affirm that Sherlock, personally, believes that William’s ideal of the world will succeed. And it works! Even if William is still set on dying here, it makes something in him finally be at ease, returning the light to his eyes.

“You can see that same future for yourself!”

William realizes at this moment that Sherlock didn’t come there as a part of his plan. That he came there on his own volition to save him and that this whole set up he’s made into a spectacle is not like that to Sherlock at all. That while he’s still playing the Lord of Crime, Sherlock is genuinely there to save his ass and nothing more. And he gives that victory to him. He says “You’ve bested me, Sherly”. It’s the one thing he doesn’t let himself hope for but gets it anyway, and he’s happy to go. This time with a real smile. William is incredibly stubborn when it comes to sticking to his plan and he doesn’t intend to drag anyone down to hell with him, so he does the logical thing of stabbing Sherlock’s arm and forcing him to let go of his hand. His last act of selflessness. The last gift.

Only you know, he didn’t account for just how stubborn Sherlock himself was. Because Sherlock Holmes jumps into hell with him, throwing everything of his own away, doing the illogical thing. Sherlock, who just moments ago was taunting him with how he was a coward for choosing death, who doesn’t even flinch before reaching for him in what was then their downfall, whose last words to him there were an order to live.

Sherlock is nothing short of insane. He decides on the spot that if the world has already chosen to condemn William, and William decided to agree with that, then he’s still going to choose his side and stand with him and his pain. Sherlock can only lose here. He uses what’s left of himself and his time to show William that no matter what he does, there is still someone who will see him for who he truly is. He doesn’t get to die alone. He doesn’t deserve that. It’s utterly devastating and beautiful.

^Basically what I’ve been scattering across my blog these past few days but a bit more detailed because I’m down bad:

[dracarialove]

📄 F it, I'm posting my finished fics here, too 📄

*Check the 'rouge's heart' tag if you haven't read previous chapters

[Chapter 8: Relaxation]

Rouge and Shadow kept in touch for a few weeks after their night at the club. Their feelings for each other grew over texts and phone calls; the bat accepted that she would just be waiting until he was ready to ask her for a commitment, and the hedgehog wrestled with his own pessimism regarding their potential relationship. Shadow laid awake some nights, his conscience jumping back and forth between giving it a shot and worrying that she may still not be over Knuckles.

Not knowing where Rouge's thoughts and feelings truly lay made him anxious, the reserved man hesitant to ask her outright. He continued looking for new work, though nothing was panning out, as he didn't do very well during interviews. The repeated failures began to wear down the hedgehog.

Meanwhile, the treasure hunter used her time being single to work through the broken engagement the way Shadow had suggested. She first ran through the good memories in her mind, mourning each one and crying when she needed to – though, she found it was much easier to keep her eyes dry this time around. Then, she went through the bad memories, mentally pinpointing what made them bad and which ones stemmed from something she could've controlled.

In the process of uncovering her own flaws, Rouge also began to associate Knuckles' face with how the bad memories made her feel. The method caused her feeling of sorrow towards him to steadily evaporate, being replaced with a sense of confidence that she deserved better.

At the tail end of those three weeks, after Shadow had been denied another job opportunity, he called Rouge in a stressed state. Sitting at the dining room table of his apartment, he ran his fingers through his dark quills while letting out an exhausted sigh. The charming woman's voice on the other end of the line was like an angel whispering to him that everything would be alright.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rouge," he started, trying not to sound defeated. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine," she responded casually. Shadow could hear the smile in her tone. "And yourself?"

He almost instinctively replied that he was also fine, something he'd been doing with many strangers multiple times a week. But he caught himself, instead telling her the truth. "Not that well. I still haven't found a new job."

Then he heard the smile drop from her voice, relieved that she wouldn't instantly try to hype him up. "I'm sorry to hear that... are you holding up okay?"

The hedgehog paused, staring at the ring-like patterns on his wooden table. "Not as well as I normally do. Truthfully, it's probably the first time in my life that the stress of searching is starting to get to me."

There was a pause from her side, Shadow assuming she was thinking. So far, the only time she seemed to not have an immediate reply was when she was contemplating something, and he was content to wait for an inevitable bright idea from the clever lady.

"I know," she finally uttered, her tone lifting again. He smirked as she did exactly what he'd anticipated. "Let's go to the beach – just you and me. Some surf and sun might put you in a better mood."

"Sure," was his unhesitant response. "As soon as possible?"

Rouge's perky tone heightened. "Absolutely. It's supposed to be clear and sunny tomorrow. Is that soon enough?"

The hedgehog chuckled, his smile becoming more genuine. "Yeah, that works."

"Great! Come by around noon and we'll go together."

"Alright – see you then."

The bat said goodbye just before they hung up, Shadow then standing from the table and pacing a bit around his living room. Staring down at the plain black cell phone in his hand, he couldn't stop himself from feeling a tinge of excitement tugging at his heart. It was unusual after the aloofness he'd become accustomed to over years of living alone.

Befriending Rouge was the first step to finally opening up to someone; she made it feel surprisingly effortless, like she was genuinely on his side and cared about his well-being. The new, positive emotion remained while he rested on the couch and filled his evening with television.

***

The next day, Shadow drove his motorcycle to Rouge's house, for once appreciating the sunlight as he never had before. The bag of beach supplies he'd packed thumped against his back with every bump in the road. When he arrived, the hedgehog rang the doorbell and stood with one fist against his hip, gazing around her front lawn at the tiny violets sprinkling lush green grass.

The bat answered a moment later, wearing a flowy white sundress with a sunflower pattern lining the skirt. He was less shy about admiring her outfit, realizing that she would want to be complimented on her fashion choices.

"You look great," he said, walking in as she stepped aside.

Rouge smiled while closing the door behind him. "Thanks. I've got to pack a couple more things and I'll be ready to go."

He watched silently as the treasure hunter trotted a few feet towards her staircase, the dress bouncing around her thighs. She pushed off the ground and flew the rest of the way up the stairs, disappearing from Shadow's line of sight, and he slowly meandered around her living room to soak in Rouge's preferred aesthetic. Sleek white and silver were the main color scheme of her walls, furniture, and floors; splashes of color accenting designer pieces to complement the framed art on her walls.

The eager woman floated back down the stairs, a sky blue bag hanging off her shoulder and brown sandals on her feet. "I'm ready! Hope you don't mind me driving."

"Not at all," replied Shadow, turning to meet her at the door.

Walking towards the driveway, she reached out to him and said, "I can store your bag."

He handed it over and she strolled towards the back of her vehicle, using the button on her key to unlock it. The sun reflected off the pure white exterior of Rouge's car, gleaming bright enough to make the hedgehog raise his hand over his eyes.

The young woman seemed not to notice him walking over to the driver's side as she stuffed their bags into the trunk. When she looked back up, pushing the trunk closed, she saw the gentleman opening the door for her – a coy blush crossed the bat's cheeks and she thanked him before climbing in.

The ride to the beach was serene, an expansive blue sky stretching out above the city while upbeat music played from the radio. It wasn't the kind of tunes Shadow would've been playing had he taken control of the stereo, but he was feeling more open-minded towards interests other than his own.

It wasn't so bad, all things considered – not as heavy or serious as the genres he typically enjoyed, but rather carrying an optimistic tone that admittedly fit better with their plans. Rouge tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as they listened. The quiet hedgehog tired of gazing out the window, looking over at his friend and cracking another smile at how happy she seemed.

The sunshine ahead of them enhanced the glow on her glossy lips, tanned skin contrasting beautifully with her snowy white hair. She caught him staring, and flashed a tantalizing grin before returning her turquoise eyes to the road.

It wasn't long before they made it to the beach, Rouge parking in a convenient spot with a view of the shore. She opened her door before Shadow had a chance to do so for her, but he concerned himself more with getting their bags out of the trunk.

The hedgehog immediately put on his sunglasses, then threw both packs over his shoulders and walked with Rouge towards the sand; he noted that she was eyeing his figure, the woman either unsure or uncaring of his awareness behind the dark shades.

After walking along the border of grass and sand for a moment, the jewel hunter pointed at a smooth patch of turf jutting farther out than the rest. "That looks like a good place to rest our things."

Shadow agreed, letting her grab a blanket from her bag and setting the supplies down on the grassy patch. A light gust rushed by just as Rouge whipped up the blanket to spread it out, the pastel sundress pressing against the back of her thighs and flowing in front of her – it was a short moment of beauty that Shadow was glad to have seen, admiring the thin line of illumination around her silhouette.

He looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring again, and checked the grass around them for garbage or ant hills. Once the blanket was flat on the ground, he joined the bat and sat with her a while; she kicked off her sandals and leaned back to support her weight on outstretched arms. The pair looked out at the sea, relatively alone save for a family playing along another side of the beach.

"I love it out here," Rouge said, breaking the silence. "Especially during the week, there's hardly anyone around."

"It's quiet," remarked Shadow, throwing one arm over his bent knee. "I've never known such a bright place to be so still."

It was the treasure hunter's turn to look over at him, noting the way he stared out at the horizon through dim lenses and under lowered lids. His dark aesthetic looked a bit out of place among the light blues, yellows, and greens of the beachy area; but he gave off a slightly different vibe than at the night club.

It was more relaxed, more comfortable, and Rouge enjoyed seeing a new demeanor from the gloomy hedgehog she'd met at the coffee shop. Starting to feel the heat of the blazing sun, she repositioned to grab the bottom of her dress, pulling it up over her head and revealing her swimsuit.

The bat was wearing a one-piece colored the same faded purple as her everyday bodysuit, the chest forming a heart over her bust as one side of the thick fabric crossed over the other. She didn't notice him covertly eyeing her as she shifted to sit closer while making her next move.

"You know, I could take you out to do things more often. I don't know how familiar you are with the city, but I know pretty much every place that's worth visiting."

He turned, his head cocking forward slightly in a natural gesture that radiated coolness. The bat continued, "I could show you around, introduce you to new experiences..."

Trailing off, she shrugged in a questioning fashion. For a moment, his expression didn't change, leading her to believe he would decline the offer. But instead, he replied, "It would probably serve me well to get out more often. I'd have no reason to go on my own, but... you make things more enjoyable."

Her cheeks flushed, Rouge overcome with esteem and feeling valued from being spoken of so respectfully. Unfortunately, the moment didn't last long, the jewel thief suddenly hearing her name being called from the parking lot. Her heart leapt in her chest, gleaming eyes darting past Shadow to pinpoint the voice.

In the distance, she spotted a blue figure quickly swaggering towards them, one white glove raised high and waving. The woman nearly jumped up, subtle panic on her face as she sped towards him; Shadow turned to watch with a bewildered expression.

Rouge met the approaching hedgehog halfway, both of them standing in the grass. "Sonic, how nice to see you! What brings you here?"

He shrugged, both hands on his hips. "Was just running by and saw your car. Figured I'd say hi! It's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah, it has been," replied the bat, clenching one palm around her arm nervously. "Did Knuckles tell you...?"

"That you guys broke up?" His lip pulled into a slight sympathetic frown. "Yeah... sorry to hear. Not much to say, I guess – he's always been a knucklehead."

She let out a chuckling exhale as the corner of her own lip curled. "You're right about that."

"Who's your friend?" Sonic asked, motioning with an upward nod towards Shadow.

Rouge sighed, crossing her arms as her eyebrows stressed together. "Someone I met the night I dumped Knuckles. I've been trying to make new friends since the breakup."

"Well, Rouge, you still have me!" the spunky young man blurted, his arms spreading to his sides. "Just because you're not with him doesn't mean we can't be friends!"

At that point, Shadow decided to stand up, approaching the pair to decipher the reason for Sonic's energetic gestures. Meanwhile, Rouge explained, "It wouldn't have felt right, you're too close with him. Besides, it's not like we know each other that well."

"How could you say that?" the blue hedgehog asked, raising one hand to his heart and feigning hurt. "We've known each other for a long time! I helped you find the perfect place for your wedding, didn't I?"

Rouge rolled her eyes while Shadow finally reached them and gained Sonic's attention.

The blue blur grinned and shoved his open hand toward Shadow, who leaned back. "Hey there, friend-of-Rouge! Nice to meet you, I'm Sonic."

"An acquaintance of yours?" the dark hedgehog asked Rouge, rejecting Sonic's handshake.

She nodded, but the beginning of her attempted sentence was interrupted by the speedster. "Hey, you look familiar, actually. I think I know you from somewhere."

Shadow looked back to Sonic, his expression unflinchingly dull. "Most likely from the coffee shop where I used to work."

"Oh, that's right!" One palm clonked against the side of his head, his eyes rolling upward in an exaggerated motion. The grin remained as he pointed at Shadow. "You were the sour barista!"

"And you were the obnoxious one who asked if we had chilidogs and then didn't buy anything," the monotone man replied, his eyes narrowing a bit behind his sunglasses.

"Such is life, my friend. Say-"

Rouge then cut him off, stepping forward to obtain his gaze. "Sonic, listen – we were really just trying to have a relaxing afternoon on the beach. It was nice to see you again, but I think we'd like to get back to that."

She looked to Shadow for confirmation, who gave her a nod. She continued, "I'll stay in touch. But, if you could, don't talk to Knuckles about any of this. He caused trouble before and I just don't want any more of that."

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, no problem. Won't run my mouth on this one."

He started to back away from them, casually swinging his arms as he moved. "And hey, don't forget about the rest of us when you move on from Knuckles."

Before she could respond, the blue hedgehog sped away, dust kicking up into the air as a strong breeze blew past. Rouge looked at Shadow, crossing her arms behind her back and anxiously fidgeting with her pinky finger.

"Sorry about that... I had no idea he would show up here, of all places," she said. "We were friends when I was with my ex."

Shadow turned towards the shore, taking the bat's hand in his and leading her. "Let's not talk about that now. It's not what we came for, right?"

She eased up, a heartfelt smile creeping across her muzzle. "Right."

They walked into the water together, clear blue waves sinking away to then rush forth over Rouge's feet. The hedgehog was more concerned with his company's enjoyment, not finding much comfort in the cool sea but liking the soft smile on her face.

They stood for a while in thigh-deep saltwater, the treasure hunter running her hands along the surface while Shadow ignored the tiny fish brushing against his legs. He got a bit bored, just gazing around, leaving himself vulnerable to a sudden splash from the mischievous woman.

"Gotcha," Rouge chuckled when he turned to her with a surprised expression.

The innocence of her teasing brought an involuntary smile to his face as Shadow flashed her a playfully vengeful look. He splashed her back, more forcefully and causing her to let out a giggly exclamation. When she moved to retaliate, the bat took a step toward him and her leg waded into a bushel of seaweed; the spindly plant instantly tangled around her calf, the momentum sending her toppling further than she intended. The hedgehog was quick to catch her, but his loose footing slipped forward and made him fall on his behind.

The relatively shallow pool of water splashed around them as they both crashed to the wet sandy ground. Rouge was mortified, her cheeks red with embarrassment from tripping so awkwardly; Shadow was simply stunned by the fall, his hands pressed against her shoulders in an attempt to prevent her from hitting the water.

When she managed to prop herself up on outstretched arms, the bat's gaze ran up to his. His glasses were askew, one side laying higher than the other and leaving a single eye unshielded. He took them off once she was stable, the lenses dripping with water droplets, and they shared a long moment of starry-eyed staring.

A faint voice nagged in Rouge's ear, 'Kiss him.'

[savebatsfromscratch]

No.26. “You Look Awful,” “Don’t we all??”

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51140125

Words: 1,640

Cws: Near failure, almost giving up, overworked, minor swearing if you’re a Catholic like me

Notes: I really wish I hadn’t rushed this one, because this sort of thing makes me absolutely rabid, but it’s still pretty good as is. :) A LITTLE Better Powers AU because I am insane about them. (Powers of these five listed at the end.)

Prompt: No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.” Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

The door slammed open, and Blue looked up as Red pushed his way into the room. Blue raised an eyebrow. Red’s hair was full of leaves, his face was covered in scrapes and bruises, and his hat was on sideways for some reason.

“You look awful,” Blue commented, watching as Red slid into the chair next to him.

“Don’t we all?” Red asked him, laughing tiredly as he rolled his eyes at Blue.

Blue shrugged, even though he knew it was true. Red was by no means the only trainer in their group with dark circles under his eyes and hair filled with sticks and leaves. (Blue hoped that his own hair, at least, looked a little bit more put together, but he knew that he was just as scraped up as Red was, that was beyond hope.) Just because Red had bandages replacing his fingerless gloves on one of his hands didn't mean that he was the only one who looked awful among them.

Yellow, for example, had clearly been crying before she'd walked in. She was trying to put on a brave face as she walked through the door, but Blue knew her far too well to ever buy it. When Green followed her, she was missing all of her usual snarky glow, and Blue noticed that part of her hair was a little shorter and more tangled than the rest. (If her text earlier that day had been true, she had run into a probable ex Rocket owned Scyther and got a little unlucky.) Ash... Well, Ash looked about as good as he usually did, but he always looked a little beat up, so that wasn't really a good sign to Blue.

And Blue knew that he himself looked tired as hell. (Or, if he somehow didn't, he must've learned how to put on some hell of an act in the free time he knew that he didn't have.)

Seeing that no one was starting the meeting, and it was clear there would be no more small talk, Blue sighed. “We're all here now, right?” Blue asked, tapping a stack of papers on the desk in front of him to organize them more cleanly, then, when everyone had nodded those tired nods of theirs, he continued, ”I guess I’ll start,“

Ash sighed loudly, as if he had been hoping for something a bit more entertaining, but Blue ignored him and continued to speak. “I suppose I'll start with my week's notes, and then we can go around the table,” once again, the others nodded, but it was somehow even weaker this time, as if the reminder of what had gone on in the previous week had been nothing but discouraging for them (if that was true, Blue actually had something to agree with them on, shocking). “I tried looking for a hidden base,” he continued, pulling out a sketched map of the region and gesturing to several red Xs he had drawn on it, “but I wasn't able to accurately trace any grunts back to one place, I kept getting called to help with other things,”

“They're getting better at hiding their movements,” Green agreed, opening a notebook of her own and pointing at some cursive scribbles that Blue couldn't read from his distance away from her. She pointed at a couple and Red raised his eyebrows like it was shocking. He whispered something, and Green made a face as he reminded her of a detail, and her earrings clicked against themselves when she moved her head. ”I swear they're catching onto me, specifically, it's like they're disappearing the second they run from a battle,“

“Maybe your gears’ outta date,” Ash muttered, crossing his arms a little tighter to his chest, clearly thinking about the friendships he had made with various Rocket Grunts in the past, “I still think we should be actually trying to talk to them,”

“Bad mood today eh,” Blue muttered, but Red was already glaring at Ash, so clearly the youngest of their region wasn’t the only one having a bad day.

“Yeah, like you ever try to talk-,” Red started, cutting himself off when Green gave him a look. He gave her one right back, “I only meant-” he said indignantly, now actually getting cut off when Green interrupted him as she continued to speak.

“I’m worried they’ve got more researchers on their side,” she said, ignoring Red and Ash’s muttering as she closed her notebook again. She looked to Blue earnestly, and he had to suppress a yawn as the room’s attention was directed towards him once more. “Do you think you can ask Daisy or Gary if they can snoop around in the researcher world a bit? We absolutely cannot lose the technical advantage again,”

Blue nodded distantly, and he jotted that down in his notes for the next day. “Yeah. I think so,” there was a pause as he wrote, and then he nodded to Yellow, who had been sitting rather quietly at his side, “Do you have any major news for us?”

Yellow fidgeted with her hair for a moment before answering, and then nodded, flipping through her sketchbook before slamming it down on the table. “I don’t know if it has to do with the Rockets,” she admitted, and Blue tilted his head to see a sketch of a very upset looking Beedrill, “not for sure anyway, but if they have really good researchers again then they’re definitely experimenting on Pokemon, this Beedrill evolved directly from a Weedle I rescued the other day,”

Red inhaled sharply through his teeth, and Green made a face. That wasn’t natural at all, and it couldn’t be at all healthy for the poor little Pokemon. Even Blue, who normally found the focus on Pokemon a bit inappropriate when human lives were at stake, found himself cringing. That was way beyond anything they’d done to Pokemon close to Giovanni before, were they getting bolder?

“The Beedrills’ fine now,” Yellow hurried, trying to correct the worry in the room as if it was her fault and not Team Rocket’s, “I gave her some rare candies to try and catch her up and she’s doing much better now, but…” she trailed off, and it was clear that she had heard a lot more from that Pokemon’s memories than she was letting on, “I don’t want it to happen to any more Pokemon than it already has,”

“I should hope not!” Red interrupted, looking almost offended on behalf of the bug type, no matter how much dislike he had for that particular species, “Forcing evolution like that is evil!” 

For a very stupid, very impulsive moment, Blue almost wanted to bring Ve and Red’s evolution stones into the argument, but he held his tongue. There was no time for that here. They were already defeated enough without going at each other’s throats. (At least, not this early in the meeting anyway. Arceus only knew how, but they always seemed to dissolve into fighting as these things went on.)

Green looked entirely taken aback by Yellow’s story, but she finally managed to find words as she put her hand on Yellow’s shoulder. “Do you want me to try and devolve the Beedrill?” she asked quietly, and Blue cringed at the mention of her special power. This all had gotten worse when that had happened, and they all knew it.

“No thank you,” Yellow seemed to be forcing a smile, but she held Green’s hand to her shoulder with one of her own, much smaller, hands. “She’s doing alright now, I would have messaged you if she really needed it,”

Green nodded and leaned back in her chair, pulling her hand away from Yellow. Yellow’s hand stuttered in the air for just a little bit longer than it should have at the absence of Green’s, and then she hurriedly tucked it back into her lap again.

She stared down at her desk, and there was a moment’s pause before Ash cleared his throat to speak. “I’ve just been fighting,” he said, and for the first time in the meeting Blue realized that his feet weren’t up on the table today (this stretch of time really was taking the fight out of all of them), “I don’t have anything especially important to add,”

He nodded to Red, and Blue couldn’t even force himself to probe more at those words for better information. The tiny spark of fire that Ash had had at the beginning of the meeting was totally gone, and he seemed almost defeated as he slumped back down in his chair. (Had it been the confirmation that Team Rocket was getting stronger again that had broken him?) Red seemed to notice this too, and he sighed heavily before he spoke.

“I don’t know how much longer we can keep doing this, Blue,” his eyes connected with Blue’s, but Blue looked away. No matter how strong his powers had made him, Blue knew that Red could still break, “I- I hate to say it, but we would need a miracle at this point if we wanna win,”

To Blue’s horror, even Ash nodded at that. 

Blue took a shaky breath in. Whatever he said, he knew they had to believe him.

“Then, believe me, we’ll get that miracle,”

The awful feeling of Ash’s power stopped pulling on his soul.

Before this, before all of this, Blue had never been the positive one. Deep down, he knew it wasn’t right for him to be that way. He was a trainer, a teacher. He was supposed to tell truths that those who looked up to him needed to hear.

But these weren’t people who looked up to him.

These were his friends.

And if they needed him to lie to believe it, that’s what they were going to get.

[jencsi]

I keep going back to the same recycled complaint, but the toughest part about liking a piece of media that doesn't offer new content anymore, is trying to make new out of old. The quality and quantity of my "creative" writing over the last year to year and a half has declined severely. I feel as if I have already written everything that can be said about Finn and her life, past, present and future, and the various relationships she has with people. I'll start typing up a document and I have to stop because I've already covered that topic or written a similar scene in a previous fic or I just lose steam and (dare I say, get bored?) of doing what I've already done? It makes me feel like an imposter. I adore this character. I'm lucky to have taken it as far as I have, but I feel like I lose more and more of her, and in a sense, myself, with each passing day I fail to keep her alive, because no matter how hard I try to will it to existence, at the end of the day, she's just a character someone else made for a show. And maybe the reason I feel perpetually stuck in my own life is because I can't move on from her, I feel like I need to constantly be breathing life into her, lest anyone forget she existed and that feels like a metaphor for my own life. If I don't scream myself into existence, forcing people to hear me, then I just become some rotting blob of nothing. And then I get the mixed voices of "its just a dumb show, no one cares!" "But it's a serotonin boost!" "Just move on already!" "But what else do I have besides going to work and slowly rotting if I don't have a hyperfixation?" You could be so much more if you just dropped this fandom stuff and pursued something worthwhile" "But this is all I know!" Things are too expensive! The world is dying!" It's just a show!" After living this way for so long, it's exhausting. And this isn't just a Finn-centric thing, I did this with other fictional characters too. It should be fun, it should be a hobby, it should bring joy, and it has, I have met amazing people because of this very specific shared mutual interest, but somehow, I can't shake this stupid feeling of failure. Is this projection? Some unnamed mental illness? A coping mechanism? Escapism? All of the above? Why am I like this?

[hamtigers]

So for some reason I woke up today thinking about an RP community I used to be a part of for awhile years ago. So I just wanna give a shot out to anyone who used to be a part of the KH RP board Kingdoms Unleashed awhile back, especially before they shut it down and re-opened it. I tried to come back once after it reopened but I just... couldn’t stay inspired enough for threads with the character I returned on and the fact that they didn’t allow OCs anymore honestly killed a lot of the appeal in the forum for me. And during typing this I just noticed my bookmark for it still exists, but the board itself has been deleted. So I suppose I may as well delete the bookmark.

more specifics about my feelings (and info about the board for anyone uninvolved but curious) below the cut because I am going to ramble A LOT. Like... this post is gonna be hella long, so I’m sorry if read-mores don’t work on mobile still. Also sorry if this shows up in people’s searches since tumblr picks words out of the whole body and not just the tags.

I honestly feel like I’ve made a post like this once before in the past but I still... want to make it again, because I’m feeling incredibly nostalgic about it. Kingdoms Unleashed was a KH-centric RP board on proboards that I lucked out and got into very early on in its life thanks to @highly-radioactive-nerd stumbling across it. I know a few buds from the board also were mutuals on tumblr, but I don’t know how many of you guys still use this site. But anyway, the big draw of the board was that you could bring in characters from outside of KH as long as they “fit the feel” of kingdom hearts, which they ruled as being: from a disney property, from a videogame, from an anime/manga, or from a similiarly styled media(as the catchall for allowing characters from, say, avatar the last airbender in despite it being a western-made cartoon). This was before the big starwars and marvel mergers, which is funny to me because western superheroes were a given example of what wasn’t allowed. Every character (whether they were from KH or not) had to go through an application process, and it was the main way they screened for quality control in RP and so that they could make sure no one was bringing in any super overpowered characters (the quality bar wasn’t like, elitist or anything, you just had to show a basic grasp and consistency on the character’s personality and that you weren’t gonna post a bunch of one-liners) The minimum required activity level to keep a character was pretty lenient too, you just had to make sure you made a post like... somewhere around once or twice every two week period, with activity checks being made once a month? Unless you gave notice of an extended absence. (common reasons included travelling w/o internet access since smartphones weren’t common yet, computer problems, health reasons, and needing to study for classes and exams)

But on top of all this, they also allowed OCs and fan characters under some small stipulations. The big ones I remember are: -No keyblade wielders to avoid an over saturation of keyblades -No vastly overpowered characters. This applied to canon characters too though. Like... one person got to have a touhou character only because her powers got stripped down a lot and they had already proven themselves as a long time responsible RPer on the forum. -No pre-existing ties to canon characters. They could know OF someone if it made sense for their background! But they couldn’t have already met them personally. Anything that develops in character after that is free game of course, but if a canon character got dropped then picked up by someone else, they had no obligation to pick up where the previous player left off. This bullet point is gonna be super important in my later talking! -This is kind of a sub-thing of the last one, but nobodies also couldn’t (officially) join org-XIII under any circumstance.

 One of the GMs even admitted in the forum chat at one point that they were on the fence about allowing OCs to begin with, but they were glad they did because of the quality of OCs that got brought in.

The place ended up flourishing into a VERY healthy roleplay forum, with the  rare drama cases either being resolved or with the instigator getting thrown out if they didn’t settle down. My favorite part was that unlike other RP places I’ve been on, there wasn’t a massive posse schism or canon/OC schism. No, people RPed canon characters with OCs and fancharacters and characters from different games or anime constantly, to the point where several canon characters ended up in romantic relationships with peoples’ OCs.

I loved it. My characters never ended up among those dating canon characters, but it made me so genuinely happy to see a forum so openly embracing fan characters and OCs to that degree. I was used to people only wanting to facilitate ships they already had in their minds, or making fun on FC/canon ships in other places that it just genuinely made me happily astounded to see the forum grow into a place where that was common and other RPers would actually like... get invested in and follow these romances they weren’t a part of despite not knowing the OC.

I still occasionally wonder, however, if the forum’s overall activity hadn’t dwindled down, if I would have landed a ~dream ship~ with a canon character and my own fancharacter. A bunch of people had been recently bringing in FFIV characters (which is my fav FF not counting XIV) so I decided to take a chance on bringing in my fan character, Ayletta. This was shortly after I had lost inspiration for Rydia and dropped her so that another fan of the character could have her instead and hopefully do her more justice.  Ayletta is a physically disabled girl (can’t stand or walk for more than very short periods of time) that relies on her Chocobo to get around and dreams of having her own chocobo ranch. What didn’t get included in her profile or mentioned by me anywhere on forum was that I "secretly” ship her with Kain.

Guess who just happened to be the only person that joined my first thread I started as her was? I was immediately ecstatic, even more so when I saw how quickly they got along even with someone else controlling him. What really got me and left me wondering what ~could have been~ is what they included in his described thoughts, but not in his spoken words. The RPer drew parallels between Ayletta/her chocobo and Kain’s father/his dragon to the point where he immediately was in awe and respect of the bond between Ayletta and her bird. This was a facet I had never even realized or considered between them before then, and only added to the fuel of my own thoughts. The thread was fairly short lived, but there was definitely plans for them both to meet up again later on which unfortunately never got to happen.

[nakedbibi333]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist

Hi! Okay, so since this is a very long post, I will try to answer each of your questions/concerns in the order you mention them.

So about persisting, I can understand how it seems a bit complicated. You persist when, after a certain period of time, you still don't see movement of your desires manifesting OR if you see the OPPOSITE of your desires manifest. Oftentimes, when you finally open up your mind to the idea that your mind creates your reality, then some past doubts and fears can manifest as well. Your mind will often try to manifest opposite things in order to make you feel like you are doing something wrong, which is why so many loa teachers say to persist. It can be very difficult for people to persist, which is why so many people feel like they can't manifest, or that manifestation isn't real, because their 3D reality has too much weight in their lives, so they take it as truth and end up giving up on their desires manifesting. It's important to begin to believe that your 3D reality is extremely malleable and is only a reflection of your inner reality. You need to take the power away from the 3D and give it to yourself and your ability to create exactly what you want.

Then you ask about proof of manifestation. It is very true and understandable that other people's success stories are not enough for many people because you want to be able to trust the information that you are going to be getting into. Personally, before getting into manifestation, I already had my fair share of unexplainable success stories in my life, so it just seemed like an answer to the questions I've had all my life. Even with these success stories and experiences, when I first got into manifestation, I still would doubt myself by wondering if it was simply a coincidence these things happened, or worse, that I was becoming delusional. I want to tell you that every single person who is now into manifestation has gone through this feeling. We all worry that we are just doing "wishful thinking" and being delusional because the world we have grown up in has always been so practical. It's not easy to believe in something that seems so impossible without any previous personal experience. So, the only advice I can give you for this is to try to manifest extremely small things to build your faith over time, such as seeing a yellow butterfly, getting your favorite food, or seeing some sort of sign, so that you would know that what we are talking about is actually the truth. Also, there are so many documents that go more in-depth on how our minds create our reality, including CIA documents and books about the science of manifestation, such as books by Joe Dispenza, and books about the subconscious mind, such as books by Joseph Murphy, and many many more. Since the only way, you will really believe in manifestation is by having your own experiences, then manifesting small easy things is probably the best route.

Then, you mention how you're worried about "someone manifesting failure into your reality." My view on this is that you are the only person who can affect your life and nothing can happen to you that you don't specifically manifest into your reality (whether it be consciously or unconsciously). Everyone can manifest, yes. Everyone has control over their reality. You can even manifest people acting in certain ways towards you. But that's in your experience specifically. If we are talking about quantum physics, time is not linear, technically all possibilities of all time, ever, exists right now. We also shift through different realities at every moment depending on our mindset, beliefs, and decisions. So, if someone manifests something in their life that would affect "you" but does not align with your thoughts and beliefs, then it won't show up in your reality. You have control over your own reality, nothing comes into your life without you allowing it, so that's a very empowering thought, in my opinion. I really suggest that you affirm this so that you don't have to worry about others manifesting negativity over your life because you would never personally decide to manifest it into your own life.

I also want to talk about how you worry about affirming wrong or simply manifesting wrong. It's Important to note that these beliefs can also negatively affect your manifestation because that is not you truly living in the end. If you were living in the end, you would know that simply deciding that you want this to happen, means that it will happen and that it has to happen. You never need to doubt your manifesting process because your subconscious mind is so powerful and it is so easy to make it do things for you! Just like what @divineangelbee says, you can COMMAND your subconscious mind and it will listen and give you exactly what you want. You don't have to visualize or affirm or do anything. Simply tell your subconscious exactly what you want it to do and trust that it listens! I really think that the reason that you have not been having too much success is because of this, that you are constantly doubting your methods which keeps you from truly living in the end.

Then, about limiting beliefs. It can be beneficial to people to be aware of their limiting beliefs. However, there has been such an intense focus on limiting beliefs in the loa community (mostly on youtube) that I see so much. Coaches keep you focused on the problem of limiting beliefs so much that they don't actually help you move on from them. Personally, I found that whenever I focused on my limiting beliefs, it was like living in the old story. (if you don't get this reference, I seriously suggest you read or listen to Neville Goddard's lectures in which he talks about the law of assumption. They are life-changing). Focusing on limiting beliefs keeps you stuck in that story you are telling yourself about your life. It keeps you from overcoming them and becoming limitless. It helps me to affirm that my limiting beliefs no longer have the power to hold me back. I don't have any more limiting beliefs because I manifested not having them anymore. Manifestation works in many different ways, and a lot of people don't realize that you can simply manifest your desired mindset as well. I suggest trying this!

So, to make this as clear as possible, I will tell you how I personally manifest (disclaimer: people manifest differently, many different things work for different people, I am not saying this is the only or best way to manifest, but this is just what works for me).

First, I get my idea of what I want to manifest. Usually, I want to manifest multiple things at a time, there really is no limit.

Then, I will decide what will help me "feel it real" and "live in the end." This can include techniques, but I don't use techniques every time. I don't like to visualize because I am personally a maladaptive daydreamer, so visualizing makes me feel like I am daydreaming, which keeps me from really feeling like it's really happening. (But, if it works for you, by all means, go for it) I may print out a picture if it's a physical item in order to trick my brain into having something physical that represents this or adding it to a Pinterest vision board (I am a very visual person, so it always works for me). I also like to make a list of what I want just to keep it in a place that I can go back to and mark off in the future, telling my brain that this is a goal I need to achieve (I find that my brain loves to check things off of my goals, it makes my subconscious mind already start working towards the goal). But most of the work goes into my mindset. I don't affirm a lot because I feel like it becomes a chore if I have to recite affirmations all day every day. I may put up affirmations on my chalkboard or put them on my computer, but I don't make it a habit to really say them at specific times, etc. I really focus on making myself feel deserving of getting my manifestation and I also live in the end. Living in the end is where you feel confident that your desire is already yours. If it helps, which it does for me, I like to believe that I have it already in the "quantum field," or the 5D, or however you believe in it. It is not about being delusional and pretending like you have it, no, it's about feeling trusting in your own power to make this happen for you and it will come, no matter what.

After that, I "drop it." I don't forget about it or stop desiring it, that's not what letting go means. It means that I know that I don't need to do anything or force anything to happen because my subconscious, or the universe, will bring this to me and I don't need to worry about anything related to my desire. I also self-regulate my emotions by meditating, focusing on the things that make me happy, and reminding myself of how powerful and capable I am.

Then, eventually, it manifests. Or, if it doesn't come in the timeframe I wanted it to, or if something that would oppose my desire pops up, I focus on my own self-concept, making sure I genuinely feel deserving of and that I can get what I want, and I persist in that feeling that my desire is still mine. No matter if I got rejected, no matter if they told me I couldn't get the job, no matter if it looks like it won't happen. I still persist. and then it comes.

Finally, I want to mention that I am only here to give advice and I can't make anything physically happen for you. To see actual movement in your reality, you need to be willing to go through failures in order to find out what works for you. I have had manifestations fail, I have had MANY manifestations fail. It's not always a perfect process. I don't charge money, my identity is not on this page, I am not here to be a famous coach or to act like I know any better than anyone else. I am just trying to help you guys reach the point that you deserve to get to in your life. But I can only do so much. I really hope this helps.

[douxie-casperan]

Rise of the Titans and the assassination Hisirdoux Casperan’s character development

I’ve been ranting so much since Wednesday morning that I finally condensed by thoughts of WHY this one subject keeps setting me off namely the utterly diabolical way they handled Douxie and Archie’s relationship in Rise of the Titans and how it wasn’t just enough to hit him with the nerf bat.

Please note I’m at the point where I literally cannot tell the difference between Aaron headcanons, Teny headcanons and my own they are all mixed together in the blender that does funky things. I also apologise for typo/weird wording it’s half 1 in the morning and I’d rather sleep than edit.

~

If asked to sum up Hisirdoux Casperan there are certainly several things that come to mind:

Sees the value in people as a whole and will find do anything if there is a chance of help someone out

Prefers tactics that disable/banish rather than kill an enemy yet willing and able to pull the trigger if circumstances become forced

While not academically inclined he is very capable of thinking on his feet and outside the box calling back to his time on the streets where a split-second decision making is the difference between being caught and not

Terrible at planning he’ll be in there figuring it out as he goes along which is what makes the previous point so vital to literally how he goes through life

A natural charmer that would let him talk his way out of trouble 9/10 providing a perfect cover for his distrustful nature and reluctance to be touched by random people

Very down to earth, humble and never one to brag unless outright sassing someone

Will bang out some hot tunes at the drop of a hat, his love of music has never wavered once since he caught the bug despite instrument hopping ironically becoming a jack of all trades much like his magic style

The earliest memories he can recall are him as a young boy lost in the woods where he was for an unknown amount of time before his soon to be familiar finds him amongst the roots covered in dirt and drying tears, there is nothing before that. Unbeknownst to him is the colour of his magic matches the blue of a lost mother’s eyes and the song that haunts his nightmares as much as fire could well be hers though there is no way to be sure. From that moment on Archibald, shortened to Archie, would become his entire world and their friendship only becoming closer during the years they prowled Camelot together trying to keep themselves in one piece until the fateful day Douxie tricks the wrong person leading him straight into the path of the famous wizard Merlin Ambrosius.

It's no real secret that Merlin is a very closed off person who keeps his emotions as well guarded as his secrets, prefers the style of negative reinforcement over positive encouragement and is a very strict perfectionist in his. At this point in his life he can be very easily described as a disaster that is genuinely doing his best with every little mistake held of his head and his future self when brought back to that time period is belittled by Lancelot (Errand boy) and Arthur (Boy) too meaning it’s hardly a wonder his confidence was very fragile revelling in the times where he could do things without being told off for it. With Morgana largely ignoring him too (Though personally I like to think as he got older she’d occasionally take an interest until the blistering arguments with their master started to talk over daily life) a certain disguised dragon would have remained a lifeline and give that physical affection he craved much like being told he’d done well never seemed able to earn.

With Killahead he’d lose that home and family he made leaving just the two of them behind struggling to figure out their place in the world that had abandoned them.

There wouldn’t have been the words for it back then but the way he had been treated prior was outright abusive instilling very bad habits into Douxie yet by irony he was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and help those in trouble without thinking earning a reputation as the Shepard of Fire. He refused to become like him seeking to be better, perhaps not as a wizard (Even though he was learning new charms and spells along the way) but certainly as a person. Despite everything he suffers through or witnesses in the intervening years, the loss of friends and kindling of far newer ones he never loses his good heart 

That said is it any wonder that after rightfully sassing Merlin for resurfacing, ignoring his existence despite being in the same town and only visiting him to run a finding errand that all the confidence he’d managed to build completely from scratch after Camelot wavered causing him to fall back solely into trying impressing his old Master who was acting like his humble apprentice must have coasted the past few centuries who himself fell back into old habits of belittling? It’s only when Merlin started to truly listen and acknowledge that this was not the same Moppet he once knew after Excalibur was fixed that their relationship finally started to become more like equals. After the defeat of Janus the changeling that broke into the castle he touched Douxie’s shoulder with a genuine smile and for a second he simply didn’t know what to do because the old man never did this before his brain kicked into gear and realised he’d finally earned that one thing he’d been so desperate for his entire life: That in Merlin’s eyes he could be more than a failure who only caused problems for the closest thing to a father figure he’d ever had, never solved them.

A staff will be earned, history would be set back on trap by banishing Morgana tag teaming with Archie because they know one another inside and out, as promised he’d get the kids back to the present but soon after things would go badly wrong. They’d lose Jim and because of his very nature he’d make a gamble to try and get him back because that life is worth trying for just for in a moment of surprising selflessness Merlin would be sacrificed to save him. The only constant in his life apart from Archie would apologise, openly express pride and how the greatest thing he’d ever done was saving this orphan, call him son for the first and final time before turning into ash in his arms. There would be no time to grieve for things will barrel into the crescendo of Douxie sacrificing his own life to buy everyone time to escape because if they did that everything he’d ever done would be worth it with one last whispered goodbye.

(Zoe sees him fall, so does Archie – His heart would break if he was conscious just like theirs does when his body crumples into the ground)

On the very fringes of the Light Realm he is gifted one more conversation with Merlin in a truly heart-breaking sequence (THANKS TENY) where they can just talk without any fear of consequence or politics and just be completely honest. Douxie is allowed to stand equal to Merlin, to have the hug he’d needed since he was a child and be allowed to simply let go of every pretense and cry his heart out because this can never happen again. He’s allowed to say goodbye to both his master and Morgana who had both shaped so very much of his life but like the painting he’d always remained firmly in the long shadows of until that moment.

When Hisirdoux Casperan finally leaves Wizards if we just accidently deliberately put the shawarma back in along with checking in with Zoe before departure, it is with having learned to live during his wandering years but this is the point of true freedom because he can finally escape into his own light with Archie by his side to keep Nari out of the hands of those that would see the world harmed. It won’t be easy but it feels possible somehow even with the knowledge everything is simply running on borrowed time.

Then Rise of the Titans happens.

At first everything is genuinely fine! No more running, they engineer a solution shut the Order’s magic down to make them a lot less dangerous and potentially at least incapacitate them until they can come up with a longer-term solution but all the best laid plans and all that. Douxie’s quick thinking stops the train from crushing any of the people below and it’s a very him style move to switch places with Nari to stall for time because for some reason the plot disabled Claire from portaling her or any of the threatened people/heroes to safety. He openly sasses the Order despite knowing the consequences will be bad for him because once again he’s managed to trick them, buy time that at the other end isn’t even slightly utilised until he’s forced back into his own body in excruciating pain. Archie immediately mobs him with comfort just as he has done every single time the wizard is distressed or collapsed with exhaustion without thinking because that is what their bond is like, incredibly close and far more than the Soul Bond mark that connects them together. They’re very alike in that regard, you have to earn the right to touch while equally knowing exactly what form the other needs the most in that precise moment in a way very few others could.

Bar the moment of figuring out that an illusion is in place to hide where the Order is opening the Genesis Seals and the brief insistence on reconnecting with Nari somehow Douxie manages to forget everything that makes him who he is after this point choosing to stand in the background being very no thoughts head empty or can only use the most basic spells of his youthful days not the seasoned master wizard he should be. Nomura is treated like an innocent slip rather than an outright death he did absolutely nothing to prevent (Not to mention the stupid daytime thing) nor seems to care particularly about afterwards yet with Nari’s he’s allowed to openly grieve in a gorgeously animated visual showing how he’d failed to keep her safe despite everything. He did nothing to help here either mind despite allowing himself to be tortured in the same piece of media to keep her safe, just watched another loss happen right in front of his eyes in his conga long line of them.

Then there’s Archie, oh god then there was Archie.

The dragon who even here he’d been shown to have an incredibly close bond with him decides you know what sod that tell him goodbye I’m going to make a joke about having a kingdom now dad and me are trapped in here forever. Douxie on his part looked sad for all of three seconds saying that he hoped he’s happy like it's a pet that wandered out into the world one day and never came back instead of a lifelong companion that has been there for as long as he can remember. He was now completely alone in the world since Zoe was also written out entirely and because every bit of his background had been forgotten about it somehow meant nothing. This wasn’t “I know you miss him, I know you need to grieve but you are running out of time” moment like things had been with Charlie, this was “cool shapeshifting dragon cat is now stuck in a plot hole that’s a shame” with zero pay off or any of the genuine reaction that should have been there or hell even trying to Ohana him back that very second because it never should have happened in the first place. Then even this wasn’t enough somehow, they managed to de-power Douxie even further into uselessness bar the (Admittedly nifty!) sticky feet stunt, the one who fought Skrael and Bellroc to a stalemate was shunted aside with barely a thought and his head would somehow get even emptier.

The one person who knew the danger of time magic the most stood by and said nothing.

The one person who would suffer the most by a reset because the lynchpin to his issues would be asleep if you got it wrong and should have drilled it into Jim’s head the best time to aim for stood by and said nothing.

The one person who had just suffered the loss of his familiar, best friend and only family along with the almost sister like Nari stood by and said nothing.

Then to add further insult to injury the caption when Douxie and Archie is shown says Some go their entire lives living an existence of quiet desperation because every drop of his character growth, his ability to finally start addressing his trauma instilled back in the 12th century, the staff he longed for was instead openly mocked by going “Aww he got his cat friend back how nice!” Everything he’d rightfully earned and had now would be unable to progress until certain criteria are met because it hinges entirely on the Trollhunter going to Merlin’s tomb and there’s only so much your support network of two (One if she’s written out) can do, the root of the majority of his issues all stem from one man.

And this folks is why I’ve been going on multiple rants about Douxie in particular, everyone was hit with the out of character bat to some degree in this film but when they came for him they didn’t just stop after they took his legs out because they wanted him to suffer from something he’s never had any control over to begin with all over again. Abuse survivors deserve better, these characters deserve better and we as viewers deserve far far better writing than we were forced to endure.

[nanagoswife]

Contrition of War

A request for @generousrunawaydonut

Summary: After going against orders from Obi-Wan to leave him behind, he's mad that you risked yourself.

W/C: 3.2k

Warnings: Angst, mention of blood and death and serious injury

- - -

There was a light trickle of something wet dripping down the side of your face. You weren’t surprised as you had just jumped under a bunch of rocks to save many, but more importantly one particular person. This particular person also would’ve been the only one who had no possibility to escape.

Despite his protests and telling you all to leave before it was too late, you jumped in anyways, doing your best to deflect laser bolts while using your other hand to push the force through you to hold off the falling cliffside.

Although you were able to stop a lot of them, you were still unable to contain them all. A couple had come whizzing by you, a couple striking you as you prevented multiple injuries and one definite death.

You were aware the others were safe, but you had to wait for the right window of time so that you could try to guarantee your own safety. That was, until a blaster just grazed your shoulder. Thankfully, not enough for it to actually touch your flesh.

As time went by, it was getting continually harder to hold it all. The window you were hoping wasn’t showing itself. You started to fear that maybe this wouldn’t go as planned and that it may compromise everyones’ safety.

That is what you thought until you saw two other flashes of blue, now deflecting the shots that you had been determinedly fighting off.

“Y/N! Go now!” yelled Anakin over the noise. You looked at Obi-Wan who wasn’t breaking his attention from the droids in front of you.

Slight disappointment filled you when he didn’t spare a glance over at you to send you extra reassurance, but you didn’t let it distract you. There wasn’t enough time.

With the last of your strength, you pushed the rocks towards the droids.

The whole front line of them was crushed under the stone pieces, and awarded everyone enough time to get to the ships before they started firing again. Obi-Wan took the rear as Anakin came over and helped you as your tired frame began to pull you down, not allowing you to get up on your own.

It didn’t take long to get on the ship, and you were surprised you didn’t just collapse from how you just exerted yourself once you were safely up the ramp. There was so much of your force energy that was used for that act alone that you wouldn’t be able to do much else before getting a decent rest. Preferably in Obi-Wan’s arms.

“Why in Corellia’s nine hells did you do that?” Obi-Wan almost yelled. You slightly jumped at the suddenness of it. The doors had only just closed to the outside as the transport had lifted off.

Obi-Wan was nearly drowning in furious worry. He had nearly lost you due to your little stunt in the name of saving him.

You looked down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze as he reprimanded you. Anakin wasn’t far behind you, resting a hand on your shoulder for comfort as you kept your head down. He even slightly pulled you back and away from the man you loved, currently sounding like you had just betrayed him and the Jedi by saving him.

“Obi-Wan, calm down. Why can’t you be grateful at the fact that she just saved your life along with so many others,” Anakin shot back at his former master. “It may have been reckless, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen, or done, before,” Anakin continued sternly.

“Yes, and how does that usually turn out for us, Anakin? This was a brash, undercalculated and dangerous action that could’ve done a lot more harm than good!”

Obi-Wan’s blazing eyes still hadn’t calmed when you caught a glance at him. You were almost afraid that he would soon say something to deepen the pain you felt, and it was leading to that. You thought he would appreciate the help, not be mad about it. On top of the exhaustion, this wasn’t going well for you especially when you wanted his comfort. You wanted to fall into his warm embrace.

All you had wanted to do was help. Sure, you were spurred on by the fact that you wanted to keep someone you cared a lot about alive and unharmed, but there were others that were in danger. If needed, that could be your excuse to everyone else, you mused. It could hide the fact that you acted more out of emotion and previous experiences than The Code permitted.

Still, that didn’t dampen the painful twist in your chest as you were sure you were about to be lectured. Not only that, but it seemed like Obi-Wan was actually mad about you saving him. You thought he’d be happy. Happy that he could spend more days with you and then tend to your wounds in the quiet of one of your rooms, but that wasn’t seeming like a possibility with how this was.

“I’m not your padawan to protect,” he said suddenly, irritation in his tone.

You felt tears well up in your eyes with an extra sting of pain as you couldn’t bring yourself to actually look at Obi-Wan. It was too much to even just hear his tone, and it wouldn’t be helped if you saw the same thing in his eyes. Never, in your relationship or the time you’ve just known him, has he ever spoken to you like this. Never has he used a past failure against you.

When he finally took a moment to evaluate the situation, he saw that tears were forming in your eyes as you still kept your head down. Absolute shock froze Anakin in place at his words. Immediate remorse filled him as he realised what he had just said.

Anakin, your good friend and ever protective of you, even when he was still a padawan, used the hand on your shoulder to pull you into a hug while giving him a hard look.

“I-I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan stuttered out, changing his tone to be gentler. “I just- you could’ve been killed.”

“You think I don’t know that,” you said, shaky and muffled into Anakin’s robes, face turned away. “We’re Jedi. It’s part of our job description. To protect.”

His emotions were clouding every rational thought. So much so that he just brought up a sensitive topic and used it against you. He had no right to, not when he knew how much pain it brought you.

“General Skywalker?” a voice from Anakin’s comm buzzed as you felt your transport land in the star destroyer hanger.

Anakin pulled away carefully with a small groan of annoyance, still making sure you were alright before answering.

“What is it, Rex?”

“You’re needed in the docking bay. R2 seems to have a problem,” the clone captain replied.

With a sigh, Anakin let Rex know he would be there soon before turning his comm off.

“Will you be alright?” He asked you, genuine concern.

You nodded, “I was thinking of heading to my quarters, anyway.” You gave Obi-Wan a small glance as you said that. There was something in you that wanted to know how he was feeling.

At the moment, his fury from only moments ago had died down, now showing remorse for his words. Concern was also etched in, mainly felt through the force rather than seen on his facial expression.

“Alright,” Anakin started, breaking your train of thought, “If you need me, comm me immediately. Maybe get those scratches checked.”

You gave a snort in response which received a playful smirk from Anakin before he walked away, giving Obi-Wan a brief, hard glare before leaving you alone with Obi-Wan. You weren’t sure whether he was about to continue to lecture you on what you had done, or whether he was going to apologize. You could feel the conflict, but nothing on his face gave away what he was going to do.

Either way, you didn’t want to find out. There was too much running through your mind, and you didn’t want any of it to come out. Especially with the fact that he reopened an only just healed wound.

“Darling, I-” Before he could say another word, you dropped your eyes to the floor again and fled the room. He could feel the dejection radiating across your bond before it snapped away. You had completely closed off your side of the bond.

This left Obi-Wan alone. Between what he said to you, no, more like the way he talked to you and how he was chided by his former apprentice and then the way you seemed like you couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him, let alone have your bond open, he was frozen in place. Shock at everything absolutely flooded him, and he didn’t know what he was doing.

Bringing his hands up, he rubbed his face with both palms before running them through his hair, letting out a sigh of disappointment in himself. That was no way to talk to you. Especially when all he wanted was to be closer to you, comfort you, and when he had truly wanted to help you with your injuries.

Now was not the time, though. He knew you would want time alone, and he knew you wouldn’t want him to come knocking on your door. Not after this. Not when, for the first time ever, he had raised his voice at you.

It didn’t help that everything had been so stressful, especially for you. Recently, your padawan, Tylo Dara, had been gravely injured in a previous battle despite how hard you tried to protect him.

You and your padawan along with a squad of clones were answering a call for help on Toydaria. While you had been walking through where the Separatist troops had been sighted, a blast had shattered the walls of the ravine you were walking through. It was an ambush and you, along with any unhurt clones, were barely able to fend them off. Once the firing had ceased, you had frantically searched for Taylo, only to find him pinned under multiple boulders. Relief troops thankfully came soon enough to keep your padawan and a few clones alive.

Though the attack was an ambush, you blamed yourself for everything that had happened. It took so much of Obi-Wan to finally convince you that it wasn’t your fault. Now he had most likely just undid that.

Other than the mass casualties of your clone squad, it looked like Tylo would never be well enough to spend another day training to become a Jedi. Too much in his body was damaged that the bacta tank did next to nothing. Not even the healers could fix him enough to bring him back to usual health.

That’s when it clicked for Obi-Wan. You didn’t want to lose another that you cared about. You didn’t want to lose the one you loved.

Finally breaking out of his frozen position, he went after you. There was so much that he needed to apologize for. You didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that when all you did was protect him and so many others from the falling cliffside that had been blown off. In fact, it was one of the most impressive things he had ever seen.

Although you had injuries that needed to be tended to, Obi-Wan knew that the medbay wasn’t where you would go. No, you always wanted the injured clones to gain the limited medics’ attention along with the droids. That’s why it had been customary for Obi-Wan to patch you up after every mission, even if he wasn’t on it with you. You would be so stubborn that many times you would arrive home at the Temple before letting yourself get any medical aid.

Since there wasn’t anywhere else, he knew he would find you in your room. This would seem normal if you hadn’t spent nearly all of your nights in Obi-Wan’s room.

Standing outside of your door, he took a deep breath before knocking. For a moment, he was afraid you wouldn’t answer until your door slid open.

When he looked at you, you were slouched over. Your hair was a mess and he could see the trails on your cheeks where tears had run down your face. To you, you would’ve said that you looked horrible. To him, you looked beautiful. To him, whether you were happy, sad, angry, bloody or sweaty, you always made his heart skip a beat.

Now, he just had to keep himself together so that you may forgive his imprudent words.

“May I come in?” he asked, voice slightly shaky.

You shifted from one foot to the other, “I don’t know if-”

“Y/N, please,” he said, pleading with you. If you rejected him now, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

When your eyes met his, you could see how desperate he was. The cerulean pools of his eyes were showing a storm of emotion that begged you to let him in. It was a look that you were never able to say no to.

Relenting, you only nodded and made your way back to the corner of your room atop of your bed. It was the closest thing you could get for comfort, the cool durasteel pressing into your back.

Relief filled Obi-Wan as he cautiously stepped into your room. Closing the door, he took a glance around. Compared to his that had both yours and his things, this room was practically empty. On top of that, it was cold and felt lonely.

When his eyes rested on you, you had your knees brought up to your chest, arms wrapped around them as you sat in the corner. Your stare was blank as your chin rested on top of your knees.

Obi-Wan’s heart twisted in guilt as he experimented through your shared bond. He was only met by your walls still locked shut. Although he couldn’t wrap his force with yours, he could still feel the sadness and grief radiating off of you. There was also remorse that floated around, but not overpowering.

Making his way over, he sat on the edge of your bed, “Y/N, I am so sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”

“But you were right,” you said, your voice small and hollow.

“No,” Obi-Wan said immediately, “No I wasn’t. Thanks to you, so many men are still alive.”

“You were right about one thing. You aren’t my padawan. I no longer have a padawan. I-” fresh tears were filling your eyes as your voice caught in your throat. “I- I no longer have Tylo.”

His heart sunk in his chest just like it had the first time you had told him of your padawan. Just like that night, he wanted to pull you into him and hold you as you cried, but he didn’t know if you would let him. He didn’t know if he crossed a line that he couldn’t come back from.

Testing the waters, he moved a hand to rest gently on an ankle, only now noticing that you hadn’t even removed your battle worn boots. When you didn’t try and move away, a small bit of relief filled him.

“I had no right bringing that up. It wasn’t fair of me, especially when I know how you feel about it.” Desperation to make his intentions truly known was starting to break through into his tone. He so badly wanted you to open up to him so that he could reinforce it all.

For what felt like the first time, you brought your eyes to meet his. There was so much pain that filled them that Obi-Wan almost broke down. The amount of sadness he caused you made him loathe himself. Anger was never the right answer and definitely not against you.

“I just didn’t want it to happen to anyone else,” you started, voice delicate and not letting sound properly make its way out, the silent parts sounding like a breeze trying to talk. “I didn’t want to lose you, Obi,” your tears began to burn down your cheeks once again as you said this.

Obi-Wan moved his hand to place it over one of yours. If this was the only comfort you’d let him give you, then he wouldn’t waste it. Then, you opened, letting him finally wrap your end of the bond to be wrapped in his comfort.

“I don’t care how much love goes against the code. I love Tylo like a son. I love Cody, I love all of the clones. I love Anakin. Obi-Wan, I love you. I love you.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t hold back anymore. He moved so that he was on his knees beside you, pulling you into him and hugging you tight. Although this was to comfort you, it comforted him just as much.

“I love you too, darling,” he said, kissing your head as your tears grew heavier and your heaving breaths grew as desperate as your hands clasping at his robes. “What you did was extraordinary and you saved so many of us. I was just so scared because I almost lost you.”

Carefully, he moved so that he was sitting, you partially on his lap as you buried your face into the crook of his neck. The spot was damp with the combination of your tears and your warm breath, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was comforting you and being there for support like you always were for him. All he cared about was that you still loved him.

“I’m sorry, Obi. I-”

“Shh, you have nothing to apologize for,” he said quickly. “I’m the only one who has to apologize. I made you feel bad for doing the right thing.”

Sniffling, you pulled away to look in his eyes. His smile melted all sadness and worry that you still stored. If that wasn’t it, then it was him wiping your face dry with the soft fabric of his undershirt.

Obi-Wan wasn’t satisfied until you smiled when he cupped your cheek with one hand and, with the other, intertwined his fingers with yours.

“Now, will you allow me to check your injuries?”

You chuckled as you brought your free hand to brush away the hair from his face, “No.”

“No?” The confusion on his face made you laugh.

“Not until I do this.”

With your hand still brushing his hair back, you slid it to the nape of his neck. As he caught on, he finished your thoughts before you were able to act. He closed the distance and pressed his lips to yours, both of you breathing out a contented sigh.

Everything around you melted away. Every doubt, fear, and shred of sadness disappeared. Obi-Wan was here. Your love was here and made you feel the safest you’ve ever been since the start of this war.

- - -

@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @mackycat11 @generousrunawaydonut @imabeautifulbutterfly @animalgirl05

[fallinallincurls]

Bad Losses Lead To Broken Hearts

two blurbs in one week? who am i?? there are quite a few blurbs/fics in my docs that are THIS close to being done and i’m finally finishing a bunch of them so here we are! this was started on the second game of this season (yeah it’s been sitting around THAT long), but am so happy to finally share it with all of you!

credit to @droppedgloves​ for the gif!

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 1.2k

~~~~~

The moment the door clicks shut and the familiar “thump” of bags hitting the floor can be heard, you’re up on your feet. Arms crossed over your chest, bottom lip between your teeth and your heart clenched in what feels like an iron fist, your gaze meets Mat’s and the world stops.

“Oh baby, come here.” 

The boy walking towards you is almost unrecognizable. Still wearing his game day suit with his hair messy but perfect, he looks like your Mat. But the faraway look in his pretty hazel eyes, deep frown set on his lips and look of both exhaustion and failure across his facial features says much differently.

Like any other game that ends not in the Islanders’ favor, Mat is taking the huge 5-0 loss of tonight’s matchup to heart. The excuses are piling up in his mind, pushing down on his chest and you can feel his pain when he finally collapses into your arms.

“Shh, bubs, I’m so proud of you.” You coo softly, one hand going to his hair and the other rubbing up and down his back. Each tear that rolls down his cheeks before landing on your shoulder cracks your heart further. Seeing him upset in any way is never something you enjoy, but the way he beats himself after losses like this is a whole other kind of agony.

“Baby, I- I totally blew it tonight. It’s all my fault. Wasn’t on my game and all those penalties...”

“Maty, none of this is on you. Just a bad game and you still tried your hardest which means everything.” You murmur softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

Without another word, you lead Mat into the bedroom and try not to let his sobs affect you. No matter what, you love him and believe in him and support him so it’s only natural to take care of him tonight. He always goes above and beyond for you when it’s needed, or even when it’s not, and you know he needs you more than anything now.

Pressing a warm, tender kiss to his lips, you slowly push the suit jacket off his shoulders and unbutton his shirt. Comfortable silence fills the room as you help undress Mat with the most gentle hands and loving touches. His sniffles subside slightly, but you can almost feel the sadness and disappointment rolling off his body. These emotions always tackle Mat in all consuming ways despite both your efforts to combat the negative, intrusive thoughts. It’s a process you know all too well and seeing the one you love struggle with it so often hurts even more.

“I love you,” The whispered words escape your lips as you lean in slowly to kiss him for a moment. Hands against his bare chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your palm reminds you that this is home and Mat feels a small wave of relief rush through his veins at your actions.

On a night of celebration after a win, you would be spreading your legs and offering your body as his well deserved reward. But tonight, you’re opening your heart and taking on his burdens in an effort to ease the disappointment taking hold of him. There is nothing in the world you wouldn’t do for Mathew and although many wouldn’t understand, the simple act of being there for him after a devastating loss means everything. His sweet kisses, tender touches and the few mumbled phrases of appreciation all show his gratefulness for you in many unspoken ways.

After helping Mat through his nightly routine and then finishing your own, you finally take his hand in yours and lead him to bed. Mat crawls under the blankets silently, no sign of the previous sobs racking through his body, but that emptiness in his eyes is still prominent. You don’t hesitate to snuggle up right next to him and in an instant, your boyfriend’s arms are wrapped around your body and his head finds its home right over your heart. 

Even though the bad games resulting in upsetting losses have happened several times over the course of your relationship, the pain never gets any easier. It may be Mat’s heart breaking and his mind believing the end result is entirely his fault, but you always feel the weight of seeing the man you love so much in this incomprehensible pain.

Not a word is exchanged while you run your fingers through Mat’s dark hair and he rubs small circles on your hips and leaves the occasional kiss to your skin. There is no need to push him to talk. You know when he’s ready, he will reveal every insecurity and thought that is affecting him, but until then, just having him close is enough comfort. 

It’s only moments later that you feel him shift and Mat’s pretty hazel eyes are gazing up at you. The emotions are still easy to read on his facial features, but his silent way of asking for permission is met with a small nod of your head and then the words are flowing.

“Thanks for knowing exactly what I needed tonight.” Mat murmurs, touching your cheek before pressing a small kiss to your chin. “Love that about you, how you can do that. No matter how bad of a game, you’re always here.”

“The loss isn’t entirely yours, baby. You played your best and the way things went were unfortunate, but not your fault. Please remember that.” You whisper, running your fingers through his messy hair. A heavy sigh slips past Mat’s lips and silence overtakes the room again as he snuggles in closer to you.

“I know, but maybe if it wasn’t for all those penalties I took or the turnovers I kept giving up, we would've-”

“No, Mathew, stopping you right there. The game is a team effort and I know a loss like this isn’t easy, but you played your heart out like always. You did everything you could which counts for everything. No one, not the fans, your teammates, or me, love you any less because of one bad game. If anything, I’m that much more proud of you.” The soft, honest words tumble out of your mouth and you hope the gaping hole in your boyfriend’s heart heals even the slightest bit upon hearing them.

“Mon coeur.” Mat sniffles, using the beloved French nickname of endearment that only made an appearance in moments like this. My heart. He lifts his eyes to meet yours again, nothing but adoration mixed with despair is evident in the beautiful hazel color of his irises, before placing a warm kiss to your cheek. “I love you so much, more than words can describe. And it’s nights like this that remind me how lucky I am to be loved by you.”

“I love you,” You simply murmur the phrase for yet another time tonight, cupping his cheek and rubbing a thumb over his skin before he shuffles up to press his lips to yours. The kiss is tender and sweet and full of a million unspoken words. And somehow, despite how badly the game was earlier and how those negative thoughts took over his mind, Mat feels everything melt away except for the warmth in his heart for you. 

No matter how many devastating losses or bad plays and penalties that are bound to happen throughout the course of his career, Mat knows everything will always be okay as long as he can come home to you. And just like that, a small smile appears on his face at the thought of having you here forever as he snuggles against you again and drifts off to sleep.

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 21 - Sci Fi

New part is here! Hoping this makes up a bit for the heartbreak of the last part!

I have no idea how long this spurt of energy and and inspiration will last, but I'll keep writing until it runs out!

Master Post linked here

Enjoy!

____________________________

“Did you hear me?” Chris’s voice was filled with patience and warmth. “I’ll save you. I’ll be your Connector.”

I looked at him silently, knowing that I should feel relieved.

Whether my alternate memories were caused by the mental degradation, or if I was truly some sort of traveler tasked with saving this world, his offer solved all my problems. Forming a match with him would stabilize my mental condition, allowing me to fully understand what was real and what was not. It would help me become not only a true Guardian, but a powerful one that could help take on the Hive and save the world, completing my mission.

I should have felt relieved. I should have felt grateful for his generous offer.

But instead, I felt sick and wanted to run away.

“Thank you for offering this, but you have a dream, Chris. You want to be a Guardian more than anyone else.” I found myself arguing passionately, hoping he would withdraw his offer. “I can’t let you sacrifice all the work you’ve done, the trust others have placed in you. Besides, you already have a Connection with Princess Ilene...”

“Alaira.” He frowned as I finally managed to free my hand from his grasp and leaned back to put some distance between us. “None of that is as important as your wellbeing. Ilene understands that.”

“Maybe you don't have to sacrifice all that though. Maybe there’s another match out there for me…” I was grasping at straws, not even sure why I was arguing. But I knew it, felt it deep in my soul.

I didn’t want to match with Chris.

“There’s no one else. I am your only chance to be a Guardian.” The warmth was gone, his face and tone were serious. “Either you match with me, or they’ll put you on indefinite leave, and you’ll never be a Guardian again. “

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 2%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

“I don’t want to force you.” He reached out to smooth my hair, becoming visibly frustrated as I pulled back further, refusing to let him touch me. “I’m just trying to save you.”

“…”

“Trust me.”

____________________________

“Trust me.”

The man in front of me threw up his hands as he paced back and forth. “Everything will go a lot smoother if you STOP CHANGING THE STORY!”

“I thought that was why we were here, though?” I sighed, leaning back in my chair, adjusting the ballgown out of the way and cleaning my nails with a blade. “To fix the lower realms, to save these worlds? That requires change, right?”

He paused in his movements, glaring at me. “Stop acting stupid! These worlds are broken because they didn’t follow the rules. We know the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

“I don’t want to though.” I shuddered. “No offense, but if the rules are going to require us to have a romantic relationship, I’m finding a different way. There's always an alternate solution.”

“That’s what the story requires, you have your role to play. I am the hero of this world, the prince, and you are the damsel in distress. I was supposed to save you. You were supposed to fall in love with ME. Why did you have to stab the witch yourself?!"

I flipped the knife in my hand. "She was asking for it."

"You can't keep doing this. You know the consequences of not playing the right part.”

“No, there’s always different paths to take." I sighed, "You’re a good friend, and I’m glad to have you by my side, but that’s different than love.”

“…”

“You clearly don’t love me either, so why are you making such a fuss about this? As long as we complete what we came here to do, that’s all that matters, right?”

“…”

“Right?”

He stepped closer to me, his atmosphere slightly threatening. “Why are you so different from what you are supposed to be?”

“What are you…?”

“Why can’t you just ACCEPT...”

His hand grabbed my wrist, the grip painful. I raised the knife in my hand, but hesitated to stab him.

“YOUR.”

He pulled me closer until our faces were inches apart. His bright blue eyes were blazing with anger as they stared into my own. Each word burning itself into my soul.

“FATE.”

Letting me go, he walked away, putting some distance between us, before turning back to face me.

“This lower realm is stabilized. We should return.” His smile was cold. “The next mission is a little different from our previous ones. We’ll talk about it later.”

“…”

“And next time…?” He laughed, a bitter sound. “You’ll play your part whether you want to or not.”

____________________________

The memory was slow to fade, my heart still beating quickly with residual anxiety and anger. My hand tried to grasp the knife from the vision, but it closed on empty air instead.

“Alaira. Why aren’t you answering?”

I will not accept my fate.

I didn’t even know what fate I was rejecting, but I knew deep down in my soul that I had to fight.

I blinked a few times, focusing on Chris’s expectant face.

“I really appreciate you being willing to put aside your dreams to help me, but... Can you give me tonight to think about it? I’m just… I’m still really overwhelmed with all the changes that have happened.”

“…” He studied me closely before nodding with a polite smile. “Of course, Alaira. Like I said, I don’t want to force you. This will be the start of a beautiful partnership.”

Reaching out, he caught my hand again before I could pull away. He squeezed it tightly, almost painfully, before letting go and stepping back.

“The hero and the heroine… together… as it should be.” His mumbled words reached my ears and I felt sick and panicked once more.

No.

“Have a good rest, Alaira.” He closed the door behind him, and I heard the lock click into place.

I was trapped. I wanted to panic, to get up and pound at the door. To try to escape. Instead, my head started throbbing once more, and exhausted, my body pulled me back to sleep again.

____________________________

I woke up to three young women sitting next to my bed, staring at me.

I let out a startled shriek, scrambling to sit up and back away until my back hit the headboard of the bed. Looking around, I was still in Chris’s dorm room, but it now seemed much smaller and crowded with the trio who seemed intent on watching my every move.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” I waved a hand weakly, feeling scared by their intensity.

“… We wanted to see how you were feeling.” Princess Ilene was staring at me, her face unreadable.

This feels very uncomfortable.

“Why?”

The girls looked at each other at my question, before turning back to focus on me once again.

“We know what Chris offered to you.” A young lanky woman, who I recognized as my classmate Allie spoke up. Wasn’t she the one who sent me all the threatening messages in class?

“He’s willing to give up everything to save you.” Wen, the engineer who had confronted me early on, spoke solemnly, her face grim.

Ilene snorted bitterly. “Even if it means breaking up our partnership.”

“… Are you here to beat me up?” I don't think I can fight in my current condition. “Because if that’s the case, let me go ahead and say that I haven’t agreed to his proposal.” And I don’t want to. “ If you want to talk him out of it, that’s fine with me…”

“Are you stupid?” Ilene interrupted, rolling her eyes. “You should be grateful that someone as wonderful and caring as Chris is willing to sacrifice his dreams to save you. And you want to waste that?”

Allie chimed in. “Yeah. We may not agree with him becoming your Connector, but we all care about him, and if you’re that important to him… then we need to respect that.”

Glancing around the room, I shuddered at the intensity of the atmosphere. “You all care about him… romantically?”

“Yes.”

“Yep.”

“Of course!”

The girls answered in unison.

“And he cares about you all the same way?”

“…” There was an awkward silence, before the petite engineer spoke up.

“We are important to him, obviously. But now isn’t the right time for him to get involved in romance. He’s pursuing his dream of being a Guardian. One day things will settle down, and we’ll know which one of us is in his heart.” She smiled at me. “I’m sure you understand. You’re the same way, after all.”

“I’m the what now?”

“You’re in love with Chris.”

Umm, No.

“Sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding.” I rubbed my forehead as I tried to explain. To be fair, ALAIRA had been in love with Chris. But me? Not so much.

“I… respect him. “ It wasn’t completely a lie. I did respect his ability to completely ignore reality and charge forward without any doubt his actions were right. “But I’m not in love with the guy.”

Allie patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’re in a safe place. You can admit your feelings here. We all love Chris. Even if he’s too busy becoming the strongest Guardian ever to return our affections.”

Have I… accidentally been admitted in the male lead’s harem? I sighed, wishing I could bang my head against a wall. Someone SAVE ME!

“We just wanted you to know that we will support you and Chris becoming partners.” Wen smiled, standing up, preparing to leave.

“You really don’t have to…”

Allie stood up as well. “I’m just glad you’ve come around and want to work WITH Christ instead of trying to embarrass him…”

“I really don’t…”

“And you better appreciate what Chris is willing to give up for you.” Ilene still looked angry. “He’s too good for you.”

“I don’t want…”

“We’ll be cheering for you at your next match with Chris” Wen pulled Ilene to her feet. “Don’t let him down.”

I was getting REALLY sick and tired of not being allowed to finish a sentence. “I AM not going to be his partner!!!”

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 1%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

The girls ignored my words, leaving with smiles and waves. Frustrated, confused, I slammed my fists against the bed, screaming. The bright blue words warning me of my upcoming demise slowly faded from the world, as if they were never there.

SCREW THIS! End of the world… destruction of the soul… I DON’T CARE! I am not going to be forced into matching with Chris. He gives me the creeps. I’d rather have my mind splinter than let him into it.

Feeling a strange mix of recklessness and calm, I sat up in the bed, taking a deep breath and staring at the clock in the wall.

Just a few more hours, and everybody should be asleep. And then…

I leaned over, picking up a small hairpin that dropped on the floor from Ilene’s head when she stood up.

I make my escape.

____________________________

Time passed slowly. I felt as if each hour was taking a century to pass, sitting in Chris’s room, not knowing if he would come back. Not sure if the blue words would pop up again, announcing that I had failed my mission, that my soul would be destroyed. I was having trouble focusing, my thoughts tangling together inside my head, difficult to separate out. I took slow, deep breaths, trying to sort out what I knew.

I don’t want to match with Chris.

I knew that for a fact.

I don’t have a better plan to save my mental state, or complete my mission.

Also fact.

I might die.

The facts were really depressing, actually. Just looking at it like this, it still seemed as if my best option would be to agree to Chris’s proposal.

____________________________

"We know the rules. We have to follow them perfectly.”

____________________________

The man's words from my memory echoed in my head, but I ignored them.

Like the me in those memories said... There's always an alternate solution.

I won’t match Chris.

It wasn’t rational or smart. But I couldn’t give in.

So, if I don’t have a better plan, why bother to escape?

I leaned back against the headboard of the bed, trying to come up with a single goal after leaving this place. It didn’t take long, as a familiar face came to mind.

Liam. I want to find Liam.

It didn’t make sense. It wouldn’t help my mission, as he couldn’t form a connection. We didn’t even know each other that well, only spent a few hours in each other’s company. But deep down inside me, the only thing I wanted to do was see him again. He was the only person I trusted.

Chris said he returned home, though.

Hopefully he was lying. And if he wasn’t… well, then I would just have to search for him then.

The clock chimed. It was midnight, and almost everyone should be asleep. Getting to my feet, I took a moment to steady myself, ignoring the searing headache and lightheadedness that had gotten worse the more awake I was.

It must be the mental degradation. Who knows how much time I have left?

I moved quietly towards the door, studying the lock. Alaira had been a good student, spending all her time studying military tactics and Mech technology. She had no idea how to pick a lock.

____________________________

I was an assassin, crouching in front of a door, easily forcing it open within a few seconds.

“Amateurs.” I whispered to myself with a grin. “Thinking you could keep me out.”

____________________________

The memory faded, but my hands were already moving, inserting the hairpin I had found into the lock and rearranging the tumblers inside. As I felt the last one slide into place, there was a loud clicking noise, and the door swung open.

“I’m not Alaira.” I whispered. “These memories aren’t hallucinations.”

Which was probably not a good thing, given that I was about to fail my mission, and have my soul destroyed. But I was still happy.

I am not Alaira.

I crept down the main hallway of the men’s dormitory, having to hide a few times to dodge security guards. The throbbing of my shoulder served as a steady reminder to keep close track of my surroundings.

“Report.”

Just as I was entering a entrance hallway to the dormitory, someone called out. At the sound of the voice, I ducked under a table, hiding myself in the shadows, glad I was wearing my dark uniform still.

“Everything has been quiet, sir.” A security guard stepped into my vision, looking nervous.

“You’re certain?” The voice was quiet, but was still easily recognizable as the one I wanted to hear the least right now:

Chris? What’s he doing up at this hour.

“Yes, sir. There’s been no movement around the dorms tonight.”

“Good.” Chris stepped into view, his polite façade gone, in its place a grim, ruthless man. “As I’ve said before, Guardian Alaira is deep into mental degradation, and is a danger to herself and others. I've kept her here solely for the purpose of her safety, but she can’t understand that in her current state, and may try to escape.”

“Are you sure…?” The guard seemed nervous.

“Do YOU want to be responsible for General Gladus’ only child being harmed?”

He straightened up, shaking his head back and forth vigorously. “No! No of course not!”

“Then do what you are told. And remember, Prince William…”

Liam? I leaned in, interested.

“…whereabouts are unknown, so keep an eye out.” He sighed. “He was supposed to go home after receiving that written summons. But he hung around instead, and has been trying to see her.”

“Why can’t they…?”

“He’s the reason she has refused to match. As a Connector without the ability to make the connection, he hopes to keep her like him, not caring that her mind is almost completely broken. “ Chris held out his hands helplessly. “Even if he’s a prince, we can’t let him do this. Not to General Gladus’ family, right?”

Liam didn’t go home?! He’s nearby! I felt excited, almost not hearing the next part of the conversation. The sound of my name dragged back my attention.

“Alaira and I will be forming the Connection tomorrow. So we just have to keep an eye out until then.”

“She has agreed?”

“She will.” He smiled, the expression terrifying in the shadows. “She has to.” He moved off to the side, his boots only a few feet from my face, picking up something from the table above me.

“Or she’ll fail the mission, and her soul will be destroyed.”

He whispered the last sentence, but it struck me like a bolt of lightning.

HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE MISSION?! ABOUT THE WARNING? I clapped my hands to my mouth, preventing a sound from leaking out as my frenzied brain tried to make sense of this new information. Is he a traveler too?

Does he know who I really am?

“Well, congratulations on a successful match, then.” The guard responded cheerfully, unaware of the grim threat lurking behind Chris’ words.

The two separated, leaving me frozen, still hiding underneath the table.

Who is Chris, who am I? I clutched at my head, the throbbing pain worsening. I don’t have time to figure this out!

I started moving forward, ignoring my growing panic and confusion. Ignoring the agony of my mind falling apart.

I was going to find Liam.

I crept along the side of the room, making it to the front door of the dormitory.

What if there are guards on the other side?

I pushed away the panicked thought, and mentally prepared to fight my way out.

I’ve already gotten this far. I won’t give up now!

With that, I took a deep breath, and pushed open the door, rushing out, ready to start swinging.

I ran straight into a firm chest.

Fight!

I cocked a fist, swinging it towards the man’s face, when I head a single word.

“Alaira?”

I froze, looking up into familiar dark blue eyes. “Liam? What are you doing here?”

“Trying to rescue you! What are you doing here?”

“Escaping.”

“Awesome!” He grabbed my hand, pulling me along. “Let’s escape together!”

We ran away.

____________________________

Quickly moving through the different winding hallways, I lost track of where we were going. The doors flew past us, the soft glow of the emergency lighting a blue blur. All I could see was Liam’s back in front of me.

And I feel a whole lot safer than I ever did sitting in that quiet dorm room.

Finally, Liam pulled me into a classroom, dragging over a chair for me to sit on. Once I sat down, he brought a desk over, opening up a backpack and setting a thermos and a container down next to me.

Opening the container and thermos, I shook my head “How on earth did you manage to bring along hot tea and sandwiches to a rescue attempt?”

“I was worried that you might not have been eating properly.” He muttered.

A brief flash of a smiling man peeling an apple by a campfire filled my mind. “Support spouse?” The muttered words came unbidden to my lips, and I rubbed my temples.

Liam blushed, “What did you call me?”

“Nothing, sorry. My mind is having trouble keeping things straight right now.”

“The mental degradation?” He reached out, his hand pausing in the air before dropping back by his side. “How are you doing?”

I took a sip from the thermos, realizing from the empty feeling in my stomach that I hadn’t eaten anything in the whole time I had been trapped in Chris’s dorm room. “Honestly… I don’t know. Things are getting jumbled… I’m having trouble figuring out what’s real and what isn’t.”

“It’s already that far along?” Liam’s face was full of concern. “And there’s still no high enough match for you to make a connection and reverse the process?”

Chris’s offer crossed my mind, but I shook my head. “No.”

“…Alaira.” He spoke my name quietly. “ What about Chris? “

“…”

“I don’t know what’s going on. All I know is that you disappeared from the infirmary last night, and all of a sudden I received a communication telling me to return home immediately. When I tried to track you down to check on you first, I couldn’t find you. Finally I narrowed it down to the Chris’s dormitory, but he had the place locked down like a fortress.”

Liam sat down next to me, staring down at his hands. “I heard that he has a high enough resonance match with you to make the connection, but he’s always refused in the past.” He glanced up at me. “But that’s not the case anymore, is it?”

“…I don’t want him in my head.”

“Even if it means your mind degrading further?”

I thought over the mission warning. “Even if my soul were going to be destroyed. I won't match him. It would be worse than death.”

“…okay.”

Shocked, I stared over at him. His face was serious, his eyes concerned as his gaze met mine. “Really? That simple?”

“I won’t force you to let that person into your mind. If it’s against your will, my attempt to save you could destroy you.” He broke the eye contact. “I just wish more than anything that I could make the Connection.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I’m useless.”

____________________________

“I’m useless.” The man in front of me, usually confident and smiling, was broken, his hands clutching tightly onto my own.

“Don’t say that.” I was breaking down, barely able to lift my head to look at him.

“It’s true. Something has changed... the world has changed. This place is rejecting you. My blood doesn’t work anymore. You’re going to be forced to leave, to go back to… “ He held his face in his hands. “And I can’t stop it.”

“Hey, lean closer.” I whispered, a small grin on my face despite the pain that wracked my body.

He leaned in, his dark blue eyes curious.

I grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him in closer, and kissed him.

____________________________

I blinked, the memory still gripping me tightly, and realized that something was very wrong:

I was still kissing someone.

I was kissing Liam.

My hand gripped the front of his uniform tightly, the fabric wrinkled in my grasp. My other rested on his shoulder, feeling his trembling beneath my hand. His own hands braced against the chair and desk, keeping him from falling down where I had already obviously pulled him out of his seat. Our lips pressed together tightly, a comfortable warm feeling.

Did… I just jump Liam while in the grip of a memory?

…Also, I should probably stop, right?

I slowly released him, embarrassed as he sat back in his chair with a loud thump, his eyes wide with surprise and his face red.

“I … I’m sorry, I was confused…I didn’t mean…” I stuttered, wondering how to explain.

“I felt that.”

“I’ve been getting flashes of memories, and I’m not sure what they mean, or what’s real…”

“Alaira.”

“I shouldn’t have grabbed you, and… done that. I’m sorr…”

“ALAIRA.” Liam’s uncharacteristically loud voice startled me into silence. I stared at him warily, unsure if he was mad or not.

His hand grabbed my own, shocking me. “I felt that.”

“I don’t…”

“I felt it… without the barrier.” Liam was still blushing, but his eyes were filled with an excited light instead of the defeated expression that had been there before.

“You did?”

“Yeah… um…” He swallowed uncomfortably, glancing at me before looking away. “Can we do that again?”

“…”

Seeing my strange expression, he waved his hands frantically. “Not to take advantage of you or anything! I mean I can try to match you if my barrier is down, and that’s the only way…”

I raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying you don’t want to kiss me? You just want to see if we’re a high enough resonance match to form a connection?”

He hesitated, and then covered his face. “No. I want to kiss you again too.”

“Good.” I moved closer this time and leaned in with a smile. “Me too.”

We kissed again.

This time, beyond the warmth of the physical connection, I felt an electric pulse between us, a surge of power that was foreign to myself, but all too familiar at the same time.

We must be higher than a 50% match! Enough to stop the mental degradation!

Before I could break away to tell Liam, I felt his hand gently slide around the back of my head, his fingers tangling into my hair. The kiss deepened, becoming more passionate. The power exchange between us grew exponentially, the tangling of Alpha and delta waves binding our souls together.

He’s making the Connection. I responded fully, throwing all my power into it. Immediately my headache lessened, the vague sense of uncertainty that had been haunting me faded away.

After what seemed like an eternity, we broke apart, catching our breath. My heartbeat was frantic in my ears as I stared at Liam. I could feel him still, inside my self, tangled with my mind and spirit, a constant presence within me.

This is more than a simple Connection.

Liam nodded, looking overwhelmed. “I’m not sure exactly what happened… I think we might be a really high resonance match.”

“Why…” I paused, trying to sort out my thoughts. “Why does it feel like we’ve always had this connection… we’re just getting it back now?”

“Maybe we did in another life. ” he grinned, his face still red. “I felt tied to you the moment I met you.”

I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder. “Same.”

There was a comfortable silence, as we sat in the dark classroom, the tea in the thermos in front of us long gone cold. Finally I spoke up, refusing to move from my position of leaning on him.

“What now?”

He thought it over. “I guess we tell everyone we formed the Connection, and that you don’t need to be suspended anymore.”

“And after that?”

“Not sure.”

There is still the mission, I guess. “How about we save the world?”

His arm tightened around me. “If it will make you happy, anything.”

We waited out the night, together.

[asset35-maya]

Prompt no. 18 from this list

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.”

“Sorry, just give me a minute, babe. I need to recalibrate the interface I’m using…”

Gavin’s voice trailed off. The only sound in the room was from the clacking of his keyboard, his fingers flying across the keys.

Nines tried his best to take his mind off his situation. Immobile in bed… with the very real possibility that it could be permanent.

It was a just a software update… just another afternoon nap… but now he had no idea whether he’d ever move again.

Noticing his stress levels spiking, he focused on Gavin. The crease of his brows… the old scar across his nose… the determined set of his jaw as he scrubbed through lines and lines of code to find the root of the problem.

Gavin.

Lover. Friend. Saviour.

The man he depended on for everything, including his continued existence.

Nines silently thanked whichever force of nature had brought him into the safety and sanctity of Gavin’s embrace. RA9 or God or the laws of physics that dictated where atoms would end up from the beginning of time.

Not all androids were as lucky as he was.

After the Revolution, the digital giant known as Cyberlife had been dissolved under political pressure from New Jericho and its vehement supporters. Android production ceased, Cyberlife’s assets were stripped and its R&D departments were spun off into smaller, more benign companies.

People were elated in the beginning… and then they realised there was no one around to maintain and service the androids that now comprised 30% of American citizenry. Private technicians had booming business, but they were eventually overwhelmed.

The worst of it was the software.

The patches, the bug fixes, the security.

No single company was able to do it by themselves and individuals realised they were pretty much on their own. Human husbands and wives and girlfriends and brothers and pretty much everyone scrambled to learn how to take care of beloved androids on their own.

Gavin was one of the most capable ones. He knew how to do most of the mechanical work and quickly taught himself the software and systems elements. When Nines asked him how he was so proficient… whether he learnt any of it in college… he wouldn’t respond directly. The closest Nines had gotten to an answer was a grumbled “s what happens when you share a room for fifteen years with the nerdy prick that started all this trouble in the first place”

It was initially tough on the both of them… and expensive… as they figured out how to do things by trial… but Gavin was confident and adamant that he wouldn’t let Nines down. He quickly reached a steady state, even managing to get a maintenance routine in place.

But he couldn’t be perfect.

And there were things he couldn’t control.

Androids were the most complicated cyberphysical systems on the planet. Anything and everything could go wrong at any time…

And it had… during a major OS update.

“Babe, can you hear me?”

Nines’ LED cycled yellow once and went back to red.

Gavin held one of the limp hands in his own.

“Can you feel this?”

The LED spun again.

“Great. And I’m pretty sure you can see me, I know that look in your eyes, babydoll. Hmm… okay, that means all the sensors and IOT device connections are fineee…”

The musing continued as Gavin set aside the laptop and scooted closer to Nines. A gentle hand came up to tilt the android’s face from side to side.

“But you can’t talk…”

“AAAAAAAAAA”

“Wow. Never make that noise in the bedroom again. Hmm… Okay, this means your vocal chords are fine but you can’t move your mouth. Huh.. well… you can’t seem to move anything… not that different from your usual participation levels in bed then. Not to worry.”

The only thing Nines could do was glare and Gavin seemed relieved that even that was possible. He patted the android’s cheek.

“I’ll check your motor actuation and control. Simple modules. I should be able to see anything strange right away.”

Gavin resumed scrolling through the chunks of code and running searches for common errors. But minutes passed… and turned into an hour… and the hour, doubled, tripled.

But Gavin was undeterred. He had to be. Giving up was not an option. Plus, years of being a dedicated police officer had wiped out any fears of hard work and failure… he would scroll all night if it came to that.

A notification popped up on the screen.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Sweetheart, you’ve been trying for hours. Take a break.

Gavin turned to his side. Nines could detect the worry and agitation behind the facade of lighthearted calm.

“I know right. It’s not fair. You’ve been chilling this whole time I’ve been working. Tsk tsk.”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m serious, Gavin. Stop. Take a break for today. Call someone. You can try again tomorrow morning.

“Nines, you’re not a work assignment. I can’t take a break from you. You can get up and close this laptop for me.”

A few more hours passed. Frowning, Gavin climbed under the covers with Nines and began troubleshooting and testing all other modules too. It was a massive undertaking, but he’d be damned if he didn’t do it.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Know when to give up on a lost cause.

It was nearly two in the morning when that message popped up. Gavin’s eyes were red from all the screen time, but his fighting spirit had not flagged. If anything, he felt close to the finish line. Having gone through nearly the entirety of his lover’s system architecture, there were only a few stones left unturned. He’d identify the problem, win half the battle and then the solution would flow from there. It always did. They’d be fine.

He turned to tell Nines precisely that and balked at the tears staining the android’s perfect face.

“Hey…”

Gavin leaned over his partner and wiped the tears away.

“Hey… shhh… don’t… don’t worry, I’ll take care of you…”

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I’m putting you through all this. Things can’t go on like this. I’m such a liability. Emotionally, physically, financially! You can’t keep doing this for me, Gavin.

Gavin placed the laptop on the bedside table and slipped deeper under the covers, wrapping himself around Nines’ still form.

“It’s a good thing you can’t speak right now, cause you’re talking some major bullshit, baby. You are going to be FINE. I will take care of you, like always, like I promised.

You are not a liability. You are my man. I signed up for this. If you were human and sick and I dunno, needed a kidney or something, I’d simply give it to you. You and I are bound like that. For life.

So quit bitching, let me do my thing, and when you’re back… you know how to thank me.”

He smiled genuinely as he said that, stroking the android’s skin and trying to calm him down. When the speed of the LED cycles came down and the colour stabilised at a warm amber, Gavin kissed the frozen lips and gave Nines one last cuddle before returning to his computer.

Sunrise began to streak across the dark sky by the time the critical error was identified. Gavin sighed deeply as he pulled up the faulty synchronisation that had jammed the hundreds of motors and drives throughout Nines’ body.

There was actually nothing much to be said for the root cause of the failed execution loop. Just improper methods written for some of the new hardware they had installed the previous week.

That’s what they got for using uncertified biocomponents and unlicensed third party software bought off the seedier parts of the internet. Some incompatibility somewhere would inevitably trip them up. Gavin was usually able to see such trouble before it found them… but even he couldn’t be perfect.

He stretched and cracked his spine and wiggled his fingers before plunging into rewriting the problematic section. He would sleep like a log after this… but first, he had to sprint to the finish line.

And he did.

At 7AM, Gavin finally copied the clean code into the compiler and hit execute. After a brief reinitialisation, Nines blinked awake. He raised his hands tentatively. As soon as he realised full functionality had been restored, he sat up and threw himself at Gavin, smothering the exhausted human in a giant hug.

Gavin hugged back, fighting to keep his emotions at bay.

“All… all good?”

“You saved my life. Again.”

“I’ll do it a thousand times more if I need to.”

“I thought I was done for.”

“Don’t be dramatic. It was just some bad code.”

“I could have been stuck like that forever. Never moving, never talking. Just lying there till my charge drains out. That could have been the end for us, and frankly, I was prepared for that eventuality. You should be too.”

“Never.”

“I don’t doubt your abilities, sweetheart, but we are painfully limited by our resources. There’s things in this world that only Cyberlife can do and they’re never coming back. We have to make our peace with that. Pulling all-nighters just to keep me alive… it’s not sustainable.”

“Hey it’s not like this happens all the time, Nines. I get that this was really scary, but it’s not always like this… so please don’t tell me whether things are sustainable. I will always fight for you. End of discussion.”

Nines didn’t respond and just rested his head on Gavin’s shoulder. His steel blue eyes were fixed on the pair of birds fluttering outside their bedroom window. They sat intertwined like that on the bed for a while. Now that he could, Nines didn’t seem to want to stop holding his partner. The birds landed on the window sill, chirping away and enjoying the morning breeze.

“They’re really quite sweet, aren’t they? The two of them are always here in the morning. I should build them a little bath in our garden.”

“They’re mates.”

“Huh. Just like us.”

“You know… it’s just a myth, what they say… that birds die when their mates do.”

“What?”

“Most species will go through a grieving period, but after that they will begin courtship again.”

“What the phck are you on about? No one’s dying and no one’s beginning courtship again. Nines, I’d move heaven and earth before anything like that happens.

Besides, if I really, really couldn’t get your body to work, worst case scenario, I’d just transfer you to a mobile device. Carry you around like a voice in my head… like my conscience… I promise you that nothing can keep us apart.”

It wasn’t all that easy to convince Nines, and Gavin wasn’t about to try. It had been an ordeal for the both of them. It wasn’t the first time, and it might not be the last. But for the time being, they had emerged, and they had each other, and that was all that mattered.

Yawning, Gavin lay back among the mussed sheets and pulled Nines with him. Birdsong and the muted whir of thirium pump compressions lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

[balmasedas]

dearly departed. /

(gif is not mine).

PAIRING: din djarin x force sensitive!f-reader.

SUMMARY: au of 2x8 where reader exists instead of grogu (i'm sorry, baby).

WARNINGS: very slight description of torture, violence and blood. major angst.

WORD COUNT: 5k.

——————————————————————————

One day felt like a year.

A week onboard the light cruiser was hell and Moff Gideon was proven to be worse than the devil.

You’d barely slept and hunger constantly gripped your belly. You didn’t felt the urge to scream or to even beg for help, those instincts were long dead by now.

They were fascinated. A real Jedi or, at the very least, a live one, still yet to be properly trained (if you managed to survive this). So it wasn’t a surprise that because of their evil nature and in the name of “curiosity” you were obliged to use the Force until you fainted, over and over again. 

It was a tragedy. In search of what would’ve been your home, you had found one with Din Djarin; and now the memories you'd learned to cherish seemed so far away in time that you started to doubt your mind.

(,,,)

Din sat against a rock; while you rested your back against his chest and between his legs. Just the two of you, the sound of the crackling fire and endless stars above your heads. You felt so little and yet, at the same time, that there was nothing that could stop you from conquering the entire galaxy.

“You got this.” his modulated voice came out lower than usual. 

“Sh!” you silenced him with a half-smile. Your hand was extended, just a couple of meters away a small rock floated in the air, slowly approaching you. You’d tried it at least a dozen times and this one, you decided, would be the last. 

Silence crept over you both. Too expectant to breathe for a few seconds. 

You were certain, so confident. Then, fear invaded you. Your hand started to shake and so did the rock. You could feel yourself slowly losing control, anticipating a seemingly inevitable failure. You didn’t trust your power, having always been relegated to abandoning your true identity for your own (and everyone’s) safety. 

Luckily, Din did have hope in you, and although he respected your wishes of quietness during this moment, it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to ease your mind through other means. After all, the Mandalorian felt more comfortable with actions than he felt with words. 

So he snuck his hand beneath your hair and softly rubbed his thumb behind your ear, a soothing caress he often offered when you needed comfort.

It wasn’t a revelation that then, and only then, you felt enough peace to stabilize the Force and finally close your hand around the object.

“Oh!” both your eyes and mouth were wide open. You half turned towards Din — you were drunk in elation, still not wanting to miss the warmness of his body. “I got it!” you burst. You met his visor, but you could sense his eyes on you. 

“What did I say?” he spoke. “You got this.”

You got this. 

You got this.

“I got this,” you mumbled, trying to hold on to comforting words carefully sheltered in your head.

You had been a prisoner of your own body for over a week now. Traveling only from your cell to the room you were currently held and vice versa. Having to extend your arm obediently when you were told so and use your powers as well. 

Truth be told, there was nothing else you could do, except trying to keep your mind busy and start processing the facts: there were no (nor there would be) allies to your cause. You were alone and whatever the remains of the Empire had in store for you was still yet to be revealed. 

Din would come for you, you were sure of that, but some hopeless part of your now broken soul was unsure he’d make it in time.

The door from your cell opened. A couple of troopers marched towards you. Between them, the man in the white coat you’d regularly seen since your arrival. He introduced himself by squeezing your arm, it was supposed to be gentle. 

He wouldn't have done the same if you weren't cuffed and strapped into a stretcher. You thought about breaking free. Your hands around his neck, fear instead of the cockiness his eyes currently harbored. 

The urge was sharp and violent and you enjoyed it while it lasted.

“How are you doing?” Like shit. You remained impassible. 

He opened a case he’d been carrying and laid out the contents on a tray next to the bed. You knew what it was, you wish you didn’t. Needles of different sizes, scalpers, and syringes. 

You winced when he took a needle and fitted it into a large syringe.

He smiled at you. "Be a good girl and stay still, will you?"

Fuck you. “Okay.” Even though you complied, both troopers were ordered to hold you down.

As usual, every movement from that moment was processed in slow motion. The doctor hovering the needle just a few millimeters over your skin, then, the hard cold steel piercing it. First a pinch; as it went deeper, burn; then ache. You wanted to trash but you couldn’t. 

Your vision swam, and your head went thick. “It’s done.” was the last thing you heard before you blacked out. 

(,,,)

“Are you seeing anything? Or are they supposed to see you?” Din queried, looking around.

You were sitting on top of the Seeing stone, drowned in confusion just like him. Still, you couldn’t help but giggle at his obvious deduction from the name of the place where you currently were.

“Yes, I-” you trailed off and furrowed your brows as you watched him thoroughly inspecting the rock. He was quiet, his thoughts were loud. Or maybe you just knew him too well by then. “… I see you” you tilted your head, reformulating your sentence into a question, “Are you searching for an interrupter, Din?”

He straightened his body and immediately backed away from it “No,” he was quick to deny. You kept your eyes fixated on him, and then a ghost of a smile appeared on your face. Finally, he corrected himself after a defeated sigh, “Yes.” he confessed.

You chuckled. You could’ve kissed him by then, if only you had the chance. 

“I wish Ahsoka Tano would’ve told me more, but that’s not how it works.” 

The Force seemed to be much more complex than you originally thought. And the Jedi you met in Corvus day’s ago should’ve cleared many things —instead, she baffled you, even more, shifting her entire demeanor when she sensed your connection with the Mandalorian. 

Now, you were supposed to make contact with another Jedi without knowing how. 

Din didn’t answer. He had left the previous planet just as frustrated as you, if not more. 

“Well, look at the bright side—” you were cut by the sound of a ship circling the area. Both of you were immediately alarmed by its presence. Din ran to the edge of the mountain and followed it closely with his eyes. An attack craft was no good news. As much as he wished to complete the mission, there was no way he’d risk your safety. Both of you could come back later, he assumed.

He called your name, walking backward. “Time’s up, we gotta go.” he stopped abruptly when he finally turned around and saw you. He’d never seen anything of similar nature. 

Your eyes were shut, strands of your hair floated like feathers in the breeze. Some kind of force shield had been erected around you. He screamed for you again. “Hey! Snap out of it, we gotta get out of here.” but wherever your mind was, it was far away from Tython now.

He even tried to pass through the force shield only to be violently expelled from it.

He grunted. The floor beneath him was hard, the realization he made hit harder: there was no way he could reach you. 

His desperation only could grow when he spotted an unknown subject leaving the craft. “Dank Farrik!” he cursed. His hands were closed in tight fists, his gaze lingered on you. Leaving you was his last preference, he’d promised you he’d never do it until you were safe but it became the only viable option. 

He had no power to interfere in whatever was happening to you up there, but he could take care of the problem on the bottom of that mountain.

Din pulled his blaster from the holder. “I’ll see if I can buy you some time.” he doubted you could hear him, but still he tried. “Can you please hurry up?” there was hesitation in his movement, his steps were slow and uncertain. Walking away from you had never felt so wrong, and yet he had no other choice if he wanted to protect you.

He would later learn that fear, desolation, and regret were very possible and present emotions in him as he could only stand and see the dark troopers taking you away. 

(,,,)

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was your handcuffs.

The second thing was the light reflecting off them. 

Your glance flickered from the Dark saber to Moff Gideon and then to the person he was talking to. 

Until that moment, you weren’t sure if you were awake or hallucinating. But then everything became so real. His armor, his voice. As exhausted as you were, you took your time to caress Din with your eyes. 

He was alive. Whole. Here.

You were in a dream.

He, on the other hand, sensed that his nightmare was far from over. 

“You can keep it, I just want her,” he assured. The object of dispute between Moff Gideon and Bo-Katan had never sparked any interest in him. You were his only priority and his original quest had been long forgotten by then. 

The Moff stood in silence, seemingly analyzing the proposal.

“Very well, I already got what I wanted from her.” he addressed. “All I wanted was to study her blood. You see, the girl is extremely gifted. And has been a blast with rare properties that have the potential to bring order to the galaxy.” 

Din anchored his attention on you. All this talking did nothing but disturb him even more. You were so close and so far. Shut up, he wanted to say. 

Instead, he remained quiet. 

“I see your bond with her.” Din heard it before. Did he also believe what you both had it was dangerous? He didn’t wish or care to know. “Take her. But you will leave my ship immediately and we will go separate ways.”

If Din nodded, you missed it. He took cautious steps towards you. Your heart started to race in anticipation. You could already taste a decent glass of water, the sun kissing your skin, and the end of what was once an endless agony. 

You extended your hand for him to take it. He was only a meter away. 

It seemed so easy.

It would’ve been so easy.

But Moff Gideon bared only greed and darkness in his soul. He surrendered to no one, let alone a Mandalorian.

“No!” your scream ripped through your throat when you saw the Dark saber hovering over Din’s head. He was quick enough to block the hit and the ones that followed after, but the Moff was insatiable and they both disappeared into the hall.

You tugged at the cuffs, trying to get them off but it was impossible. Not when they were neutralizing your power. You were too weak to run, yet you still launched yourself at the door. 

Your legs instantly gave in. You let out a hard groan but didn't stop to recover from the blow. You instantly laid your body on a side and with the own weight of your arms you started dragging yourself on the floor. 

You had no visuals on Gideon and Din, still, the sound of the black saber colliding against beskar outside the room brought you some sense of calm.

They were still fighting, there was still time.

You just had to crawl a little bit more.

But the hallway seemed miles away, you were tired and you'd barely reached the doorframe when all fell silent.

"D–" your voice died before finishing the sentence. The thought of calling him and not receiving an answer infested your mind like a parasite. You wouldn’t survive that memory. 

A rush of adrenaline took over your body, you started moving once again. Frightened, but not hopeless —not yet. 

If Din hadn’t... If Din—

You would make sure to make Gideon pay. Maybe not with your mind, maybe with your own bare hands.

But your revenge would have to wait a few more minutes because someone blocked your path before you could reach the hallway.

Your eyes fixed over the boots in your line of vision. Where those his? You should’ve paid more attention to his clothes. If you did, you wouldn’t be trembling in fear. If you did, you would’ve instantly knew it was him, instead of waiting until he kneeled and reached for you.

He whispered your name. So loving and familiar. So soft it almost went unnoticed. 

Your lips pursed into a tight line, your eyes were filled to the brim with tears. You didn’t want to cry. But your heart felt heavy and all that pain you had accumulated those days had to go somewhere.

It was inevitable to break down. To weep and shake as your thoughts bounced between what could've happened and what didn't.

Din seemed to sense this when he asserted, "I'm here." He quickly took care of the cuffs. You find relief around your wrist, but the pressure didn't seem to budge on your chest. “I’m here.” 

There, on the cold surface of that cell, he hugged you for all the days he couldn’t.

One arm went around your back, his other hand rested against your head, fitting you against his body. You buried your face against his chest. He drew his fingers along the curve of your neck.

The well-known gesture felt completely different. Whereas before the calming effects of it were exclusively destined to you, it seemed that now it was he who needed it the most. He needed to make sure you were there. That you were real, alive, and well.

You vocalized your thoughts once you found the strength to do so, "I thought I lost you."

Din’s arms tightened around you, solid and warm. His heart would’ve broken right there if it weren’t filled with happiness. Your voice was the same. It was home. "No. I'm too stubborn to leave you." had you had the strength to chuckle, you would have. 

You slowly raised your head and, for the first time, observed past his shoulder. You immediately regretted your decision. In the hallway, Moff Gideon laid against the wall, now in shackles, looking straight into your eyes. There was a smirk plastered on his face. 

Din side-glanced the floor. The handcuffs, from which he had freed you, started to shake. Your back, once hunched and languid, was now rigid under his embrace. 

“No,” he muttered. He separated and took your face between his hands. “Look at me.” you ignored him and focused on the man behind him. Gideon’s brow furrowed, his cockiness slowly fading away —the air in his lungs too. "Cyar’ika.” the whisper came out as a plead. His helmet blocked your vision now, his gloved thumbs slid over your cheeks. You blinked the lashes that framed your eyes. They would’ve looked innocent on anyone else. “Don’t. He can’t hurt you no more.” his voice was gentle and reassuring. You believed him. 

He wouldn't hurt you, but he could –and would– hurt Din if given the chance. 

That terrified you, and it was something you couldn't forgive or forget.

Din was waiting for an answer, so you gave him one, “Alright.” Moff Gideon would just have to wait.

You both stared at each other for a moment. You hoped your answer was convincing enough to buy Din's calm. It did, cause he dropped the subject and moved into another, seconds later, “Can you walk?” he asked.

You placed your palm on the floor and held Din's with your other hand. Your legs responded –slowly but steady, you got on your feet.

The Mandalorian held you by the waist, watching with caution until he was sure you could stand by yourself, "We have to go to the bridge" he announced. His voice was low enough to maintain what he was saying between you. “Moff Gideon will go to the front, I’ll stay behind, you can follow me.” you couldn’t tell if it was a proposition or an order. 

“It’s ok. You said it yourself, he can’t hurt me.” Din tittered and shook his head.

“It’s not you who I’m worried about”.

(,,,)

You’d felt at ease once you met the familiar faces that had come to your rescue. Cara didn’t hesitate to hug you when she saw you, while Fennec limited herself to a comradely nod from afar.

Koska and Bo-Katan had been a completely different story. They didn’t take it lightly when they saw Din in possession of the Darksaber. You glanced at Moff Gideon, his victorious grin made much sense then —he knew of the traditions and what gave power to the saber. He also appreciated how Bo-Katan was as obsessed as him with it —purposely sinking his finger in her wounded pride. 

Although Din had yielded, his peace offering was unwelcomed, as well as his intentions to give her the saber. The last thing you needed was internal conflicts, but you were willing to fight anyone if you had to protect the person you'd care about the most.

The rising tension was —luckily or not— shut down by the alarms going off and then Fennec reporting a breach in the ray shields of the ship.

Moff Gideon, with a disgusting proudness in his voice, announced the dark troopers.

Lines formed between your eyebrows, "Dark troopers?"

Fennec took care of your confusion. "Problems." Her answer was vague, but you could deduce from it, at least, the essential: you'd have to fight against them —inhuman killing machines that doubled your size. The chances of winning were minimal, but you couldn't have gotten this far only to surrender.

You approached the screens and took a seat in front of them. The dark troopers kept coming. Din had trouble fighting with one earlier, and now you were six against too many. Five if they didn't count you. You were still weak, no powers, no Force —you were utterly useless.

Someone softly squeezed your shoulder. You looked up and your eyes met with beskar. "I'm gonna get you out of here." He could try. His words had always given you security. You assumed it was your damaged spirit that doubted them for the first time.

You fixed your eyes on the screen again, Din went to the front among the others. The dark troopers marched towards the bridge. They were getting closer and closer and all you could do was prepare yourself and wait.

"Seal the blast doors!" Fennec commanded Koska.

You looked at the cameras.

They were there.

The two dark troopers in the front started pounding on the door. The material they were made of was resistant, but not indestructible. It was only a matter of minutes before they could get through it.

"You have an impressive fireteam protecting you," Moff Gideon spoke. His voice exuberated confidence. He appreciated his upper hand in the situation and wasn't shy about it. "But I think we all know after a valuable stand, everyone in this room will be dead, but me and the girl."

Din didn't turn to look at you. Gideon's statement probably sent him the same eerie sensation as it did to you.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The thought of him speaking so lightly of your friends' death almost made you puke.

If only you could've hurt him. You had the will, but not the power.

The alarm went off a second time. All of you looked at your right, throughout the windows: A ship flew past the cruiser. Closer monitoring allowed you to identify it as a lone X-wing fighter. Just one. Cara whispered something about being saved, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Incoming craft, identify yourself." Bo-Katan solicited. Radio silence.

The dark troopers outside stopped pounding at the door. You looked at the cameras outside the bridge. They made a half-way turn on their place and armed themselves. 

Everyone was too baffled to be relieved about it. Everyone but you.

Your eyes were glued to the screen. The hooded figure that disembarked was just a visual confirmation of what you had sensed as soon as the craft had landed in the docking bay. 

There was no more such thing as uneasiness. The air felt lighter —in it, an invisible string pulling you towards the unknown subject.

No. Not unknown. You knew what and who it was —long before he'd displayed his lightsaber. You knew why he was here, as well as his intentions. You just didn't want to acknowledge the consequences of his presence —and what it meant for you. 

You turned around and searched for the Mandalorian, only to find Moff Gideon on his feet and pointing a blaster at Bo Katan.

He fired at her, four or five times, you didn't exactly count —it was enough to knock her out of the way.

There was nothing between you and him now. Whereas he'd expressed before the possibilities of keeping you alive for further studies about the Force, it wasn't a viable option anymore. He would rather kill you than let the Jedi get his hands on you.

You had no way to defend yourself. So you looked at him in the eyes and held your breath, resigned, once again, to a destiny written by foreign hands. 

You waited for the shots but they never came. Instead, the air was knocked out of your chest as you were thrown to the floor by someone. You winced at the harsh contact. At least you didn't have a hole in your body. You had closed your eyes by instinct, blinking felt such a waste of energy by then.

You focused on Din's helmet while he frantically inspected your body for any wounds.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

No, you were not. You were numb, expressionless, stunned, motionless. You felt your throat closing up. To speak would mean abandoning the shelter of your conscious, where you still believed to have more time with him. 

But you didn’t, and Din needed to be aware of this.

Tears welled up in your eyes before you whispered, “It’s time.” 

His posture stiffened above you. Though it was never a serious conversation, he’d recalled both of you touching the subject very on the surface. Always in a light, joking manner. “Oh, what will you do when I’m gone?” you’d ask. Din would follow with a snicker and tease you for the sake of your dynamic. “Get a good night of rest.” Truth be told, you could’ve never fathom to properly rest far from each other.

You wished, or rather begged with your eyes, for him to say something, anything —but he chose silence. Was his nightmare the same as yours? Or had he come to accept, long before you did, your true path? 

He took you gently by the hands and helped you get up. He guided you to the front, slow and steady. 

“Open the door,” the bridge was noiseless. No answer whatsoever to his request. Din insisted, “I said, open the door.”

Fennec raised an eyebrow, aiming at the entrance. “Are you crazy?” all the dark troopers were destroyed, but you couldn’t blame the group for their wariness. It had been a long day, a long journey, too many enemies in your path to trust so easily the person waiting on the other side.

You walked past by Gideon, who laid unconscious on the floor. His attempt to kill you felt so far away in time. Now, you faced something worse and more dreadful than death itself. 

Din ignored the verbal protests and pressed the button himself. The blast doors opened. The green glow of the lightsaber was visible before his body. Everyone waited as he entered the bridge. The sick, anxious feeling in your gut only increased when he withdrew his lightsaber. The memories of your time on the seeing stone came back altogether. You recalled his face, he was in your dream, he was the one who had reached out and —oh, you wished you could retract your cry for help.

“Are you a Jedi?” Din found the courage to ask. 

Yes, he is. You knew his identity before he could tell you so. Luke Skywalker.

“I am,” he confirmed and then looked at you. He reached out a hand, you squeezed Din’s. “Come, please.” you trusted this stranger as if you had known him all your life. The Jedi wasn’t the problem, it was the man standing next to you. 

“She doesn’t want to go with you.” Din’s authoritative tone and firm stand made it clear that he shared the same wishes as you. 

But Luke knew better than to give in to the whims of your hearts. If only they were reason enough to rebel against him, “She is strong with the Force. But talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect her, but she will not be safe until she masters her abilities.” 

Your fingers lingered over Din’s as you broke the grip on his hand and took a step forward. For a moment, you considered the option of leaving everything behind without looking back. To spare the pain of goodbye seemed the happiest ending you could get. 

Then you remembered how uncertain and unpleasant the future could be. Very few souls in the galaxy could survive regret, an ‘I should’ve’ was more gut-wrenching than any blast to your chest.

So you turned around and face him one more time. You offered a tremulous smile, drops wet the corner of your lips. 

He, as always, tried to offer some peace of mind you couldn’t find by yourself. “I’ll see you again. I promise.” you hated the bleakness that tainted his voice. Still, you found yourself wordless, nodding at his words. 

You extended your hand, the tip of your fingers brushed his helmet. It was cold, lifeless, so much different from what was inside of it and who you had learned to know. Din’s hand went up and reached for yours, for a moment you thought he’d push it away. Instead, he put it on the helmet and slowly removed it. 

What in the past was deemed unlikely, was now a solid dream.

You lingered on the coffee eyes that studied yours, on the small crease between them above the line of his bold nose. His hair —you wanted to jump in his arms and run your fingers through that hair. Your eyes wandered over his mouth, following its curve and pout, as if he was just about to speak. You wanted to crush your mouth against his lips. 

So you did.

Time stopped in a collision of senses when your lips met his. Your heart pounded in your chest as your knees got weaker. You could only focus on how soft he felt against your mouth, in how addictively he invaded your senses. 

There was raw emotion in the way his fingers closed behind your neck, in how he squeezed you against his body. With your eyes closed, you weren’t sure if your mind had tricked you into a perfect present. 

But then you opened them again and he was there. Closer than ever. 

“We will meet again.” your voice quavered in a whisper. You threw your head back just to take a full picture of his handsome face. Tears fell over his cheeks, you brushed them away with your thumbs. “Someday, somewhere, we’ll get to be together.” you lowered a hand and placed it on his chest. “Until then, keep me here, ok?” 

This time, Din draped both of his arms around your frame and met your lips halfway. It was short, intense, and everything that needed to be said was said with it, “I’ll wait for you as long as I have to, ner runi”. 

You stole him one last kiss before you let him go. 

There was nothing said between you and Luke as you left the bridge side by side. More tears cascaded through your face the further you walked away. You knew this was the way it should be, but never would it hurt so bad. The Mandalorian was supposed to be only an eventuality and ended up being half of your heart. 

You reached the elevator and turned around. It took a massive amount of bravery to look at a loved one in the eyes as you parted ways, so you gathered every cell full of courage in your body and looked at Din. 

You were still crying, so was he. But you had made peace with the past, the present, and the future — both of you knew, one way or another, you were destined to each other, whatever the odds you’d have to face. 

The elevator doors were closing. Your smile grew wider and wider as you realized, not too late, just in time, “I love you, Din Djarin.” he didn’t have to say it back for you to know he felt it too. 

You had promised to find him as soon as you could and you intended to keep your word.

[ranger-kellyn]

WIP Wednesday: Terror in the Nightfall (4-Farosh)

have another wip from my nano project!

i do apologize that there is one skip, marked with [skip - notes], but i don't think it's a big deal for the moment. i'm exhausted from nano, and don't have the energy to bridge those small gaps, so have Zelda and Impa's trip to the Spring of Courage from what is currently Chapter 3.

----

Zelda threw her hands down in the water, creating a splash up onto the ancient stone. Another trip to the spring of courage, and another trip where she neither felt or heard anything. The mossy goddess statue looked down at her with her stony smile. A look that was supposed to be comforting and instill an assurance of safety.

For years now, Zelda had come to resent the statue. It didn’t feel comforting. It felt mocking and demeaning. A constant reminder of her own failures.

“Princess-” Impa began, off to the back of the pool.

She instantly reared on her, causing another wave of water. “I know! I know! I need to try harder!” she yelled, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes.

At that point, she had long lost hope for even knowing what trying harder would look like.

In an instant, Impa was over on one of the rocks that jutted out from the pool, kneeling down to her. “That’s not what I was going to say,” she soothed.

Zelda looked up at her, fighting back the tears, for once thankful for the humidity of the Faron Region.

“I was going to suggest you stop for tonight. We traveled a lot today, and it’s getting late. We can try again tomorrow,” she said.

Truth be told, she was starting to hate the trips just as much as the princess did. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what -if anything- the princess was even doing wrong. Everything she had read detailing previous princess and queen’s trips to the springs, Zelda had done.

But above everything, she hated how inconsolable Zelda would become by the end of her time in the waters. Her attitude and outlook would become just as bad as the pruning of her skin.

It wasn’t the first time Zelda had snapped at her, and knowing their luck, it wouldn't be the last. It wasn’t something Impa could bring herself to hold a grudge over. She knew if she were in her place, she would be equally as frustrated.

Zelda nodded, but remained in her spot, unwilling to force herself to move, too consumed with worry. What if she just needed one moment longer in the spring--?

“Princess,” Impa said, her hand coming into view.

She shakily took the offer, but if she was honest with herself, all she wanted to do was collapse into Impa and cry out her frustration.

But that would be improper for a princess. That would be improper for a failure of a princess, she told herself.

Instead, she allowed herself to be guided out of the water, Impa walking along its edges with her, arm held out as far as she could to keep a hold of her.

She knew it was a breach of-- something. Too close and personal for a princess and her advisor, but at this point, she wasn’t sure it even mattered. It was just them and the goddess statue as their witness. With how much everyone held the princess at such a distance, maybe a small breach of that would be good for her.

Or maybe she was just trying to justify it to herself for no reason.

Water poured off Zelda’s prayer gown, soaking the mossy stone below them. She let go of Impa’s hand to pull at the frills, trying to squeeze what she could before heading off to change.

“Let me get a fire and a meal started,” Impa offered, taking a cautious step away.

Zelda said nothing, only humming her agreement. She was eager to get out of her wet robes as a breeze swept into the mouth of the cave, sending a shiver up her back. Not a feeling she was used to in Faron.

Closer to the mouth of the cavern, they had set up their makeshift camp in the same spot they had every other time. Their horses grazed nearby, further out in the open now that the rain had let up. Thankfully, the humidity seemed to stay down. It was still much higher than it had been back in Central Hyrule, but for the region, it was considerably pleasant.

By the time she had a small fire built up, Zelda had changed out of her robes and was silently moving to sit across from her. Her night clothing clung tight to her body, indicating she hadn’t taken much time to dry herself off, in a rush to stop thinking about her failures.

“Thank you, Impa,” she said, sitting herself close, pulling her hair back and up to keep off her back. Her shoulders slumped as she realized she had forgotten a hair tie.

Impa, having realized she lacked a band on her wrist to begin with, was ahead of her. “Here,” she said, reaching over into one of her bags to pull out a new one for her.

She thanked her again as she took the band, feeling a warmth rise to her cheeks, but not from the fire.

It was something she had noticed happening more and more as of late. Little things here and there that told her Impa knew her, but in a way that felt distinctly...more intimate, she supposed.

Lady Melora had been a lovely advisor, but she had never gone out of her way to know Zelda beyond their princess-advisor relationship. She didn’t keep track of foods she liked and disliked for their travels. She didn’t keep track of favorite places to set up camp. She didn’t indulge her at every turn to find something to study. She didn’t have kind words waiting for her when she inevitably failed at the springs.

And she certainly didn’t keep a small stash of extra hair bands for her because she was always forgetful to keep one on herself.

It had been slowly building over the last few months, Impa finally lowering her walls. Apart from the times where Purah would rile her up over anything and everything, Impa had always carried herself with such seriousness. She rarely, if ever, joked around. She was always so calm and serious-- at first it upset Zelda.

Their first meeting after all had been quite the spectacle, all things considered.

But as they continued their trips across Hyrule in search of whatever it was that might finally awaken her powers at last, here and there, the wall would lose a brick.

A reserved laugh.

A joke of her own.

A suggestion as to where they could stray off course without getting caught so she could have a little fun researching.

A smile that was so blinding, Zelda wondered why anyone would ever even think to talk about her own beauty when Impa was usually standing right next to her.

For the life of her, she couldn’t think why any of it even mattered to her. She thought maybe it had something to do with not being allowed “normal friendships” as a child. Ever since her mother’s untimely passing at the age of 7, she had been in training. Signs of the awakening calamity had forced her father’s hand, and so she hadn’t even a chance to get to know any of the advisor’s children.

Was this what a normal friendship was?

It sounded plausible. Being familiar with one another beyond surface level things seemed to be a characteristic of friendships in novels she had read.

For all the perks being royalty offered, knowing what a real, genuine friendship didn’t seem to be among those benefits.

Which, upon thinking about it more, seemed like a huge misstep. If she couldn't tell what a genuine friendship was, how was she supposed to pick her own court one day? How could she be sure those she picked had her and the kingdom's best interests at heart, and not just flattering her with fancy words so they could meet their own goals?

“You’re thinking very hard about something, princess,” Impa observed, making her jump.

Snapped out of her thoughts, Zelda realized she hadn’t even put her hair up, her hands feeling fuzzy and limp from being held up at such an odd position for so long. Her eyes were dry from staring so intently at the fire.

The flush returned to her cheeks with a fury. “It’s nothing,” she lied, shaking her hands out to try to regain feeling faster.

Impa only chuckled, tending to whatever dish she had going in the small kettle over the fire. It smelled warm and savory.

[skip- they share dinner and then zelda tries to sleep, impa sits guard as she always does, instead of sleeping]

Tossing and turning, Zelda grumbled to herself, unable to sleep. Normally, she might have been able to claim that the wildlife in the faron woods was keeping her up, but it was an unusually calm night. Only a light breeze high in the trees, and the soft chorus of frogs. No loud birds, or the snorts of some wild boar.

She couldn't even blame the temperature. It was pleasant enough for her to sleep, and any chill she felt was quickly overshadowed by the warmth that radiated across the stone from the fire.

Sitting up with a grumble, she caught Impa’s attention.

As always, Impa wasn’t sleeping. She merely sat at the mouth of the cave, legs crossed, on her travel mat.

Frustrated by an inability to sleep, Zelda grabbed her blanket and made her way to sit next to Impa, too tired to notice that she ended up sitting much closer than she normally would.

“Is something wrong, princess?” Impa asked, already feeling out into the world around them. No monsters seemed to be nearby, and very little wildlife beyond a few noisy frogs.

Zelda shook her head, wrapping her blanket around herself like a cloak. “I can’t sleep,” she answered.

“Anything I can do for you?” she asked, mentally going over what tea she might have brought that might help.

Zelda shook her head. “Why aren’t you asleep?” she instead asked.

“I’m fine,” Impa answered, though it was more of a non-answer.

That hardly satisfied her. “I’ve noticed you do this on our trips. You never sleep,” she said with a yawn, Impa yawning right after her.

“I’m a trained sheikah warrior, Princess. You should know I don’t need nearly as much sleep as you do,” she said, unsure why she tried to make it sound amusing rather than...well, she wasn’t sure.

Zelda hummed. “I’m aware of the meditation you can do that substitutes for sleep, but…” she shook her head, tired, unable to come up with the words she wanted. “It worries me.”

Impa turned herself to better face her. “If anything happened to you because I fell asleep-”

“Even when we’re at stables, or outposts, or the citadel, or even the Temple of Time? I-- I suppose I can understand you wanting to stay guard when we’re alone like this, but there? When we’re surrounded by capable soldiers?” she asked.

Impa found herself wishing she would drop it. It wasn’t a conversation she felt was safe having. If the princess knew, surely she would replace her.

“I promise, your highness, there is nothing you need to worry about. Go back to sleep,” she said, fully dodging the question.

Fully aware of her deflecting, frustration rose in Zelda’s chest. She wished Impa would just tell her. Did she not trust the guards? DId she not trust anyone else to keep her safe? Was she like this back at the castle?

Whatever the answer was, she wished Impa would just...open up to her. Bring down more stones from her wall. Maybe even let it tumble to the ground completely.

Why she even wanted any of that, though, she wasn’t sure.

“I’m afraid I can’t sleep,” she said, sitting up straight.

“Princess,” Impa said, catching herself about to reach out to her.

The whole motion played out easily in her tired mind. She would offer a hand to the princess, who would sleepily take it without any further protests. She would let Impa guide her back to her travel mat to be laid down. She would insist Impa sleep, but would settle for Impa simply sitting next to her, running her fingers through her hair until she fell asleep.

She had to refrain from shaking her head, blinking hard to shove whatever that fantasy had been. She would likely have to meditate earlier than she thought she would if her tired mind was coming up with such wild ideas.

“If there is nothing to worry about, then it should be fine for me to stay awake alongside you,” Zelda said.

“That’s hardly necessary, Princess. You don’t need to keep me company while I keep guard,” she said.

Zelda pouted, and Impa was positive she needed to start meditating that second otherwise she might admit to herself that it was...painfully cute.

“I may not need to, but I wish to,” she said.

It was so bold and confident, Impa didn’t have anything to refute her with. She had said it with such conviction, clearly there was no changing her mind.

She breathed a laugh. “Fine, but go to sleep if you’re able to. I will be fine.”

Zelda nodded, resituating herself on Impa’s mat. She was more awake now.

The Faron Woods had always held a special place in her heart. Not for the spring, but for the structure the spring sat in. The gaping maw of a stone dragon, in the middle of what was theorized to be an old ceremonial ground. Any texts surrounding the structure were all far younger than the actual ruins themselves.

Given that Impa was a historian on top of her many other talents, Zelda wondered what her take on the structure was.

“This is a Zonai structure, is it not?” she asked.

Impa jerked beside her, clearly withholding a laugh. “Are you making fun of me?” she accused, looking over at Zelda with a grin.

Zelda flushed in response. “I would never!” she defended.

“Answering yes or no to that would make me the laughingstock of all the historians!” she continued, struggling to smother her own amusement. Tired in at least three different ways, being asked about the Zonai in any way caught her completely off guard. She didn’t even know the princess had even heard of them, and she could only guess where she had even heard the name in the first place. It certainly wasn’t in any standard teachings.

Then again, non-standardized teachings-- she could probably hazard a guess.

“But it is! Any remaining Sheikah texts surrounding this location always refer to a group of people called the Zonai!” Zelda defended, indignant as ever.

Seeing how serious she was about it, Impa couldn't resist teasing her. “That’s hearsay,” she said, purposely looking away.

The two continued going back and forth, Impa throwing another curveball at her every opportunity she could. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe that the Zonai never existed- she just wasn’t as into the theories as some people.

“I swear, some people who defend and talk about the Zonai act like they were a member of their tribe!” she teased, getting another -painfully adorable- pout in response.

“You’re just being obstinate because you want to disagree with your sister!” she accused.

If Impa was going to guess where she heard about the Zonai, she figured her sister was a safe bet.

She laughed. Full heartedly, because, yes, she was in fact doing it only to be a pain. A pain to her older sister- her oldest talent. “You crack me up, Princess,” she said, looking over at her.

For a long second, Zelda swore she forgot how to breathe. Up close, she could see all the shades of her amber eyes played up by the nearby fire. All the warm undertones she could never see from their usual distance-- nevermind her laugh. Her laughter that she swore had to be the first time she ever truly heard it. Not her reserved chuckle, or a choked snort of a laugh. Real, genuine, laughter. Something she had caused.

She found herself starting to understand the cliche of someone’s laughter sounding like music.

“You need to stop hanging out with my sister,” Impa added.

Zelda had to force herself to look away. “Well, lucky for Purah, my advisor is quite easy to sway,” she said.

At that, Impa’s laughter was more forced. “Sounds like she needs a backbone,” she said.

Silence fell between the two of them, but it was far more comfortable than their silence usually was. Warm from the night Faron air, warm from the fire, and warm from the laughter.

“I don’t sleep because of nightmares, Princess.” She wasn’t even sure why she had said that much to begin with. Minutes ago she had wanted the princess to drop it, but there she was, telling her.

When Zelda turned to her, a questioning look on her face, Impa found herself continuing.

“Again, it’s nothing to worry about, but I-- I have these recurring nightmares. Sometimes, they're so bad, I’ve woken up with all my symbol cones at the ready.” Never mind the part where she wasn’t even sure where she had sapped the energy from in the first place.

“Oh my,” Zelda said in a whisper.

“I’ve never hurt anyone, but I refuse to risk you being the first.” Protect her above all else had been her order from the Elder. If she succeeded in only one thing, it would at least be that.

Zelda humed, adjusting her blanket to fall off her shoulders, pooling around her waist. “May I ask what they’re about?”

Impa gave a small shake of her head. “You don’t need to concern yourself with it, Princess, I promise.”

“I’m offering to listen-- but I’m also not trying to force you...I-- it wouldn't be a burden, is all I am trying to get across, Impa.” She was desperate to consider Impa a friend, and friends opened up to one another.

But on the same note, she knew she couldn't force friendship on another person. If Impa didn’t want to open up to her, she couldn't force her to --well, she supposed she could, royal authority and all, but it wasn’t something she would do.

It wasn’t the sincerity in her voice that brought a flush to Impa’s cheeks. It wasn’t that she genuinely believed the Princess wanted to hear her out, and wanted to lend her a space to vent her own secrets-- it was the second she almost caught herself about to use the princess’s name without any titles that brought a warm flush to her cheeks.

There was a line they were crossing, she was sure of it. The princess was free to confide in her all she needed, but it wasn’t supposed to go both ways. The princess was never supposed to listen to her problems. She was only there to advise, protect, and offer a one-way companionship.

In that moment, she couldn't be bothered to care about that invisible line they were crossing.

“It’s...hard to explain, Princess. The nightmare in question, it’s...it’s very abstract, I guess,” she began, uncrossing her legs and bringing them up to her person. “It’s not a nightmare about the calamity or anything like that, it’s...It’s a dream that I always find myself stuck in, and there’s this horrible ache in my chest that feels like loneliness. A constant nagging feeling that I’m missing something. Sometimes someone, but I’m never even sure who that someone is.”

Though, sometimes the dreams had a place. A place that, in her dreams she knew to be Kakariko Village, but looked nothing like the Kakariko Village she knew.

The amount of times she woke up sobbing for no reason other than the loneliness was so painful-- she had long stopped counting, and it wasn’t something she ever wanted to burden the princess with.

“This might be strange, but- I actually- I understand very well. I have similar dreams now and then,” Zelda said.

“You do?” she asked.

Zelda nodded. “Sometimes I have these dreams where I’m stuck in this...black void, I suppose. An unending darkness...but in that nightmare I’m not alone. I mean, it’s that being around someone but still feeling alone. Whoever I’m with, I intrinsically know I hate them, but I’m stuck there. I can’t get out, and…” she felt herself shiver. “It hasn’t happened in a while, but...I do understand at least somewhat.”

Impa hummed, resituating herself back to cross her legs, their knees touching. “Sometimes I want to think the dream means something, but…” She shrugged. “I think I probably just get anxious about having the dream-”

“And so you then have the dream,” Zelda finished. “I know the feeling, Impa.”

Quite the pair they both made.

Feeling their knees touch, a different desire came to mind. She found herself wishing she could lean over and rest her head on Impa’s shoulder. Or maybe even put her head in her lap, and let her hair be played with. Thinking about the contact was enough to send a slight shiver up her spine.

It wasn’t even something she felt herself worthy of. Maybe if she had made any real significant progress on her sealing power. Maybe then she would allow herself to indulge in just that fantasy of it all.

But a failure of a princess didn’t deserve nice things, in her mind. Not until she had fulfilled her duty.

Shoving the feeling down as far as possible, she stole another glance at Impa, and decided that the ease she was finally showing around her would have to suffice. It was more than she deserved, anyway.

Feeling her eyes, Impa turned, ready to say something, but stopped short, the hair on the back of her neck standing up. A static of some kind in the air.

She looked around suddenly, alerting the princess to her worry, but as she felt out into the world, she couldn't feel anything on the ground.

“Impa--”

She stood, looking around them to survey things. She could feel something but it wasn’t a monster. At least, not one she was in any way familiar with.

Zelda stood, blanket falling off her as she reached out for Impa’s arm to hold onto. The sudden movement and alertness when she had been clearly exhausted seconds prior put her on edge. They hadn’t run into trouble since the bokoblin their first night walking back to the castle together.

Just as she was about to ask if she could sense anything, she felt the static, too. Around them, the whole air felt like an open field just before a lightning strike. Electric.

Neither one of them dared to move, their shelter in the cave surely enough protection from a freak thunderstorm.

A low groan overhead, and a light that shone through the trees in an unearthly way.

Despite her initial hesitance, Zelda found herself stepping forward, hand trailing off Impa’s arm.

“Princess-”

The rest of what she was going to say was overshadowed by another, thunderous, growl from overhead.

Despite the nature of the sound, Zelda did not fear it, instead, she felt as though her soul was being pulled towards whatever beast was above them.

She felt Impa reach for her again, and calling out to her, but she couldn’t be pulled back.

Stepping out of the mouth of the cave into the clearing through the trees, the creature overhead stole both their breath.

Slow moving, as though simply swimming through the sky with ease, a large yellow dragon. A dragon. A creature spoken only about in myths. The balls of electricity that surrounded the creature, and her own knowledge of the place, told Zelda exactly who it was: Farosh. A spirit of lightning. The guardian of the spring of courage, and servant of the Goddess.

Groaning and calling out, not in distress, but in...jubilee. The dragon was happy. Zelda could feel that the dragon was happy.

Her own body began to tremble, transfixed by the way She moved through the sky, moonlight and electricity shimmering on her scales in a way Zelda could only hope to describe as ethereal.

The dragon’s joy overflowed onto her, spilling into her veins.

A rush of warmth under her skin.

A divine energy.

She looked down at the back of her hand, expecting a glow, but nothing…

A gust of wind nearly knocked the both off balance, Impa reaching out to steady her.

Farosh had turned around, floating lazily in the air above them, looking down into the clearing.

Her eyes alone had to be nearly half their size as she looked down at the both of them in an unending stare.

Zelda could feel Impa anxious at her side, slowly reaching back behind herself, where her kodachi would normally be situated on her hip.

Instead of her blade, she was met with Zelda’s hand.

“She’s not here to hurt us,” Zelda soothed.

She felt Impa’s hand squeeze hard, attempting to smother her own anxiety.

Whatever the dragon was looking for, she seemed to find, letting out another thunderous roar as she slowly began her ascent once more.

A ball of electricity landed far off on the other end of the clearing, sending out sparks across the stoney terrace. When they both returned their attention to Farosh, she had disappeared from the clearing, but could be heard further off.

Zelda and Impa both struggled to even begin processing what they had just seen.

A dragon.

A real dragon.

Farosh.

One of the three dragons who were spoken in legends to be servants of the goddess.

Farosh had appeared to them, and looked down upon them, sharing her own jubilant energy.

“Farosh,” Impa said in a breath. “That- that was Farosh.”

“It was!” Zelda said, feeling the joy from Farosh absolutely overflowing, unable to contain. Like a damn that had been burst.

If she had been unable to sleep before, she was definitely going to be unable to sleep now.

“Farosh is- She is said to be a servant to the Goddess! Her appearance here can’t be a coincidence! The way She was looking at the two of us--”

Unable to contain herself, Zelda threw her arms around Impa in a crushing hug, a slew of thank yous somewhere in there, muffled and mushed together, unable to keep a coherent thought together.

Feeding off her energy, Impa returned the hug in full force.

It had to be a sign of some kind. A good one.

Impa watched as Zelda suddenly pulled back, rushing back towards her bag, flinging things out of it in search of one of her journals and something to write with. She couldn’t help but laugh, and spare one last glance up to the night sky, where Farosh’s light had already faded.

Extending a silent thank you to the dragon, she returned her attention to Zelda, who was still rattling off almost too fast for her to keep up.

It was a few hours before Zelda had finally tired herself out, much to Impa’s amusement.

As they finally retired for the evening, wanting to at least get some sleep before the eventual sunrise, out of the corner of her eyes, Zelda swore she saw a light coming from the back of the spring, shining down onto the Goddess statue.

As she turned to give it her full focus, the lighting seemed to disappear…