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#and we can sit and talk for hours about everything between heaven and earth
contritecactite · 6 months
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I am here to announce three new fics today that I dropped all at once at a ridiculous hour the other day. They are gifts written for the Good Omens Song and Poetry Exchange (@gospexchange)! You can find the whole collection here (ratings and topics vary wildly!!)—everyone worked so hard and made some really wonderful gifts.
I got a little carried away (shout-out to some amazing sprint buddies who kept me moving) and so we ended up with:
1. enough to keep it together
T - 1.5k - post-second coming - link
The table makes a gulf between them now instead of a last thin barrier of propriety. They’re sitting farther apart than they would have been. Crowley hasn’t touched his wine and hasn’t asked about the quality of the food, which is just as well because Aziraphale hasn’t quite talked himself into digging in.
It’s a celebratory lunch, but it might as well be a wake—and not one of the rowdy ones.
(After the Second Coming is dealt with, Aziraphale and Crowley take the first step toward dealing with... everything else. Written for the first Good Omens Song and Poetry Exchange and inspired by The Libertines' "Can't Stand Me Now.")
2. Competitive Inhibition
M - 15k - through the ages - link
In biochemistry: a phenomenon in which a molecule is blocked from binding to an enzyme by another molecule with a similar structure—like a demon preventing an angel from binding completely to Heaven or, more to the point, doubt and fear keeping an angel from wholly welcoming a bond with a demon.
Or: The ups and downs of sharing 6000 years of life on Earth with an angel who wants desperately to be doing Good. Written for the first Good Omens Song and Poetry Exchange and inspired by The Libertines' "Can't Stand Me Now" and Fisherman's Friends' "Union of Different Kinds."
3. All Dreams That Bloom
T - 3k - post-canon (book) - link
And it’s not so bad, maybe, being on the outside of things. So long as you aren’t alone. So long as someone stands on the high and distant wall beside you and keeps you safe and dry.
(The world doesn't end. Crowley and Aziraphale quietly retire only to be dragged back to Tadfield for a special occasion. It turns out that even among friends—or something close to it—they don't quite belong. Written for the first Good Omens Song and Poetry Exchange and inspired by Fisherman's Friends' "Union of Different Kinds.")
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seungyeonnie · 2 years
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beomglocks · 3 years
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die4u ; k.th
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summary : "let me see my halo, even though it's painful i'm prepared to lose"
pairing : angel!taehyun x human!reader
warnings & other : angst asf, pastlove!taehyun, unrequited love, inspired by bmth song die4u lol, mention of panic attack, mention of depression, mention of death
w/c : 1k+
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you've tried to ignore the persistent ringing of your doorbell however you can only drown out so many rings. "fine fine im coming!" you yell at the door across the room. "its 2am this better be fucking worth it or i swear to everyth-"
when you swing the door open abruptly you're not expecting to see taehyun, your ex. of all people to come back why did it have to be the one who brought you the most joy yet the most pain? "tae- taehyun? w-what are you doing here i- i-" the memories start rushing back to you at full force. although you'd been with other people prior, no one loved you the way taehyun did. he was an angel after all, love in its purest form ran through his blood. he made you feel the way no one could and you both once laughed at the thought of you dying and being with him forever in heaven.
however, as with everything, not all that glitters is gold and taehyun's pristine angel wings were no exception. you should've known it wasn't possible for a human and an angel to be together, it was unheard of. not too far into the relationship, the saints had come down and condemned the relationship, saying things like you were tainting an angel with worldly desires.
you cried, fought, went days without sleeping to fight for your relationship but at the end of the day it was taehyun, of all people, that had ended it. "they're right, it isn't going to work.... we should stop while we can.." just like that he gave up on everything, on you. he left, vanished, without a trace. no note, no goodbye, nothing. you figured he went back to heaven, completely forgetting his experience with you on earth. it has been months and you thought you were finally getting over him but here he is like nothing happened. like he didn't tear your heart out and smash it onto the ground, repeatedly stomping on it.
the room starts spinning, you feel. this isn't good. taehyun notices your weariness and steps into your apartment to calm you down and help you. "no! don't touch me! g-get out!" you hold back a sob, causing your voice to sound forced. "y/n.." taehyun starts.
you want to scream, to hit him even. it was so easy for him to walk away all those months ago so why isn't he leaving now. "fucking coward," you mumble quietly in between breaths, not sure if you're talking about him or yourself in this moment. you manage to move yourself to your couch and taehyun follows you like a lost puppy. you hate that when you look up at him his halo is glowing, a burning reminder that he's not like you. not human.
you think it's jarring. only loved ones can see an angels halo so that fact that you can still see taehyun's makes you want to throw up.
he still loves you.
"i came back to apologize," taehyun speaks slowly as if any singular word he utters will throw you into a panic attack. you shake your head, "i don't want your apologies, you're not even supposed to be around me tae..hyun...taehyun," you cough awkwardly at how you hesitated to use his nickname. taehyun notices and sighs, hurt that you're being so cold to him however he understands.
"i did what i had to y/n," he reasons. "me leaving was better than you being taken from me... atleast then i knew you were still here," he mumbled to himself. you stand up and step closer to him after regaining yourself. "you did what you had to?" you scoff at his audacity. "i was an absolute wreck without you!"
oh he knows. there wasn't a day up in heaven where taehyun wasn't secretly watching over you. he saw the depressive episodes, the crying, the sitting in the dark, the not eating for hours until you couldn't take it anymore, he saw it all and it physically pained him despite being in a literal other dimension.
"that's why im here right now!" he yells back at you, not meaning to raise his usually tame voice at you. he sighs, "i know it's been months but god....do you know how fucking hard it is to reach someone you're not supposed to reach?" you stare at him wide eyed at his word choices.
using his name in vain and swearing in the same sentence? surely the saints wouldn't approve of taehyun's behavior and would have him reformed in a heartbeat if they heard this. "taehyun..." you're scared of the unknown. why is he here right now, what is about to happen?
"y/n...even though we're not supposed to be together because the heavens said so im willing to go through hell itself to be with you, angel, human, demon, whatever being," he admits.
you purse your lips together. if someone found out that he was here surely the consequences would be grave for not only him but you.
"prove it," you decide to go with. "you came all this way, so make it worth it."
without warning, suddenly taehyun grasps his halo. the action burns his hands however he does not let go. the only way to describe the feeling is like when you burn yourself on the stove and your mind knows to instinctively retract your hand. however this time, he does not instinctively move his hands. "oh my god what are you doing?!" you step closer to him but he moves away.
"i- i told you," he strains to say. he pulls at his halo which is slowly departing from the top of his head. you stand there in shock at what's happening. you didn't know angels could forcefully remove their own halos, you weren't even sure if they could be put back on. you didn't know how angels worked at all to be honest.
"stop it!" you yell. you don't know what to do. do you yank his hands away from his halo? will it burn you like it's burning him? you anxiously watch as tears start to fall from taehyun's eyes against his will. "whatever being," he mutters.
with one final tug, the halo is removed. taehyun gasps for air and the life practically drains from his face. "taehyun?!" he drops to the floor as you run towards him. he feels like he just got hit on his head or as if he stood up too quickly after not eating.
“i-i told you whatever being,” he smiles through the pain his entire body is going through. the palms of his hands are scorched and you hesitate to hold them in fear of inflicting more pain. “what the fuck?” you sob into his shoulder. he’s sweaty but you don’t care.
your mind can’t comprehend the fact that taehyun is no longer an angel. sure, this doesn’t change much, however the fact that he’s willing to be kicked out of heaven to be with you is enough to convince you. any minute now and the saints will surely come down to see why they’re suddenly missing an angel. it scares you.
“you’re fucking crazy kang taehyun,” you sniffle, wiping away your tears. he manages to pull on a smirk through his hazy facial expression. his natural glow is no longer there, slowly dimming out. he looks normal like another boring, dull human being.
“i’d die for you y/n, just know that.”
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theepisceswriter · 3 years
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Jjk dudes promising just the tip but breaking it like 2 seconds later please!
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Bestie I know you wanted multiple JJK characters, and I’ll probably still give it you, but I had something similar to this in my notes with Toji, so I decided to make a little ficlet with him instead surrounding this idea....kinda.
Synopsis: Your toxic baby daddy Toji hits you up after not being heard from for months with that smirk on his face that you just can’t resist.
TW: Dub con might apply here but I did my best to make reader aware that Toji was 99.99% lying abt just the tip and knew abt his intentions from the start, but I guess you can interpret it how you want, fembodied!reader, Toji is a trigger warning on his own, manipulation, implied that you have a child together, pregnancy mention briefly, breeding kink, toxic relationship, 18+, MINORS DNI
Word Count: 1.7k
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Your heart dropped to your stomach when you flipped your phone over to see ‘TOJI WOJI 🥺🧸🥰....is FaceTiming you.’ Whatever he was calling for couldn’t have been important or even worth your time listening to at all. It was edging on 12 am in the morning, the ungodly hours of the night where sin ran rampant and thoughts became loud as the world around you silenced, a concoction of emotions that meant nothing good. Especially when the last time you received a phone call from him this late it resulted in a booty call that led to you pregnant with a child that Toji barely came to see. Still, you found your thumb lingering over the green answer button and faintly tapping on it, hoping that it wouldn’t go through, but instead, you were met with the sight of Toji. The raven locks on his hair poking out like always, the same old scar over his lip, and the same basic black tee decorating his body. He looked exactly the same as you had last seen him except the outside lights of the world illuminated his face as he appeared to be in what you assumed was the driver’s seat of his car. You felt your heart clench in your chest, memories of your relationship before he up and dipped on you clouding your mind to the point where you were damn near in tears wondering why it had to end so abruptly; why he left you the way he did. But those tears were soon pushed back by with an anger that had you ready to hang up in his face. You were so conflicted when it came to him, always had been.
“What do you want Toji?”
“You. I miss you, y/n. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and our family.” God, here he went with this bullshit again. Just when you thought the cycle was over he always popped up again, little white lies about missing you and his child so he could find solace in your bed for a week or two before dipping like he always did. Apparently, he wanted to come in and talk things out, just talk and try to redeem your relationship. You knew he was just telling you everything you wanted to hear with an ulterior motive behind his words, but you couldn’t resist that grin on his lips and the compliments of how nice you looked even in your nightclothes.
He was too good at this because the next thing you knew he was sitting on the couch in your living room with his legs manspreading out and trying to inch his way closer to where you sat on the opposite end. Your arms crossed and staring daggers into him while all he did was look at you as fondly as he could, as if he were genuinely envisioning a future with you and the child he left you within this moment.
“What the fuck do you really want Toji?” Your voice had a bite to it that left him smirking at your attitude and digging deeper into his mind to pull out lines he knew you wanted to hear, lines he knew would get him that satisfactory ending of you giving into his sweet talk and bold advances as he scooted a couple of inches closer to you. So close that his hand was able to rest on the part of your left thigh that the shorts you were wearing left exposed, gently kneading the area with his palm.
“You know you look good right?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes ready to push his hand off of you but his other hand blocked you from doing so, bringing both of your arms over your head and adjusting the two of you so that you were now smushed between him and the cushioning of the couch. As mad as you wanted to be at him you just couldn’t. He had indestructible shackles placed over your heart that tugged with each time he forced himself back into your life just like how they were now.
Flashbacks of the night you got pregnant suddenly came flashing before your eyes. The vivid imagery of the way he had your legs folded to the point where your ankles were by your ears as he pounded into you ruthlessly from above, hand around your neck tightening your airways and making tears form in your eyes. Blissed dazed out in a space that was too similar to subspace, too out of it to even respond to the “I’m going to fuck a baby into you and how ever many I want after that. Use you like the slut you are and breed you so good.” That had left his lips at that moment. 
Which is exactly what he did and here he was again, the two of you in the very same spot shimmied out of your clothes, and him ready to fuck a baby into you again once more.
“I just want you.” When he says it like that, voice soft and laced with what you hope to be some form of honesty, it’s easy to pretend like this is okay in a relationship—if that’s what you could even call this. That if you squinted your eyes hard enough and looked past Toji’s flaws that all this pain and suffering he put you through in the end would be worth it. Your feelings changing for him with each entrance and exit he made in your life. Always wondering what the two of you could’ve been if he was a better man. You had to be soulmates, there was no other explanation for why you kept coming back to each other. At least not any logical one that you could think of.
All the logical thinking left your mind the moment he pressed his lips to yours, those oh so soft lips that you missed and craved badly on nights when other men’s lips couldn’t contort to yours the way that he did.
This is exactly what he wanted—his gentle caresses and touch to distract you from the real reason why he was here. Which was only to use your body how he wanted before he went on with his life, not thinking about you again until he got horny once more. And it was the touch of his cold hands against your skin, working its way up to grope at your enlarged breast, that brought you back to this realization. Lips moving off of his immediately and backing up against the arm of the couch. Your lips opened in protest, only to be cut off by him speaking up first.
“You don’t understand how much I’ve missed your touch—your body. Do you know how much gorgeous you’ve become with a post-pregnancy body? Just looking at you is driving me crazy.” He continues on with his compliments. Each one hitting you straight into your heart and going up to your head to shush those thoughts that scream at you to not fall for his trap, but instead, you fell right into it. Allowing his to resume his position on top of you.
“We don’t even have to do much. Just the tip, I promise. I just miss the feeling of you around me so much.” It’s the first time this whole night that you were able to recognize one of his lies as just that, a bold-faced lie. You knew how he got when he was in the mood, how dark and clouded his mind got with lust to the point where he was a whole different Toji. But you let him believe that you believed that, a small okay leaving your lips along with a nod as you accepted his lips on yours once more; his tongue slipping past your lips to find yours, gently sucking on it and letting out a light moan at the familiarity of it. He didn’t even have to use his hands to guide his cock to your entrance because he was just that big, breaking away from the kiss to look at where the two of you connected and using his hips to guide his erect tip inside of the warmth of your cunt. For a minute, maybe even less, he kept his “promise” of inserting only his tip, but the feeling of your walls gripping on only the tip of his cock was enough for him to go crazy. Something on the verge of a whimper and a moan leaving his lips. He needed more of you and he was going to have more of you. Disregarding his promise like you predicted, he ruthlessly bucked his hips up against yours, his whole length entering you with ease from the build-up of your arousal that had taken the physical form of wetness.
“Pussy so wet just for me that you swallowed me whole.” He tried to pin it on you and if you weren’t stuffed to the brim with him right now maybe you would’ve rolled your eyes and told him how dumb he sounded, but you went along with it. He didn’t even give you time to adjust to him because even after months without touching each other he knew the pussy that he trained with constant fucking every week would remember his shape and form, adjusting your legs so they were folded up against your stomach and immediately getting to work.
“I might have to put another baby in you if this is what post-pregnancy pussy feels like. You feel so good and right around my cock, baby.”
Each thrust was like heaven on earth, his cock curved in just the right spots to his every sensitive area inside of you that left your toes curling and a faint white creamy line begin to form at the base of his cock. It had been so long since you’ve had a nice good fucking. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so full, so good to the point where tears formed around the edges of your eyes. No one, not even the toys you had spent $100’s on tucked away in your closet, came close to the affect that he had on your body.
He always knew just what to do and just what to say to have you crumbling underneath him. One of your favorite but also most disliked quality that he possessed.
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On Set - Chapter 1
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Soooo.... after all these lovely comments of you, here is Part 1 of my story for you. I hope you like it. A special thanks again to @nashibirne who always supports me no matter what and kicks my butt if I struggle with writing...Love you hunnybunny <3
Pairing: Henry Cavill x reader (f)
Summary: You start your work as Henrys new PA and things turn out completely diffrent than you thought...
Word count: 1309
Warnings: rpf, implied smut, insecurity
Please note also that english is not my mother tongue and that the story is not beta read, so all the mistakes are mine.
tag list: @nashibirne @sillyrabbit81 @lunedelorient @littlefreya @fanficlover91 @omgkatinka @aaescritora @finney13s @lumiousmoon @sharonisantisocial @marantha @supermamabear123 @lharrietg @red42985 @summersong69
Chapter one: Never in a million years I would have thought that I would be Henry Cavill's personal assistant but now here we are. After the short greeting in Lauren's trailer we headed to Henry's to sort out what my tasks would be. It was just half an hour that I was officially his PA now and I already was nearly breaking down. This man could definitely not be human, his broad back and his muscular body... his curls and his ridiculously handsome face and the worst of all, his ocean blue eyes that stared right into my soul every time he looked at me... Well yes Henry Cavill was certainly the lead role in all my thirsty fantasies and to be honest not just once in my mind while I pleasured myself late at night. And now I felt like a boneless puddle just because of his sole presence in the same room. I wasn’t sure how I should manage to be the professional assistant Lauren had promised him. Well there was just one solution to this problem. I had to face reality... He was way out of my league. ah what did I think...way out of my universe, there wouldn’t ever be the possibility that he would see me as a woman and not just as his employee. I didn’t need to trick me and think that there would be the tiniest chance... I mean come on, we all knew his ex-girlfriends, one prettier than the other, all super sexy, super fit and super gorgeous, nothing ordinary and average like me. That’s it Y/N just face the truth and be happy about the job. "Earth to Y/N" Henry pulled me out of my thoughts as I stood awkwardly and lost in the middle of his trailer. "Oh, sorry what did you say?" I mumbled slightly embarrassed by my lack of attention. "I just asked if we want to sit down and talk about our arrangement" he smiled at me. "Oh of course". I simply replied and followed him to the small couch in the Living room. We sat down on opposite sites and looked at each other, our knees touching because of the lack of space but Henry didn’t even realize. For me on the other hand, just that tiny bit of bodily contact made me tingle with excitement. His soul reading blue eyes stared at me and I swore I saw a light grin on his face as if he knew exactly what he was doing to me. I shook my head and looked down on my lap "Well OK Henry please tell me what you expect from me as your personal assistant." I looked at him again Be professional, be professional. I thought to myself while his smile never disappeared and he obviously was confident enough to hold eye contact the whole time, I mean why wouldn’t he, HE was definitely not distracted by pure beauty like I was. "OK there are several things that you as my personal assistant need to do, I mean obviously you did a lot of these things for Lauren too but it wouldn’t hurt to repeat them doesn’t it darling?" his smirk grew bigger with each of his words "Of course not Mr. Cavill... I mean Henry" Oh gosh he was so fucking intimidating and some kind of demanding, but I wouldn’t mind at all if he would have pounded my chores deep inside me, right here on the carpet in front of the couch now. Fuck fuck fuck stay professional. The heat started already to grew up in my spine but I tried to remained focused and to not look down in embarrassment again. "The most important thing is that everything I tell you stays between you and me, I mean obviously you signed an NDA anyway but I want to have a trustworthy relationship with you. because you will get to know a lot of personal things during our time together." His words were strict but his smile was bright and warm. "That’s absolutely clear Henry I would never talk about the things you trust me with to anyone... I bet you already made enough bad experiences with that" I rumbled but then it stroke me "Oh sorry that was a bit too forward maybe" I scolded myself for letting my words go so far but I knew enough about him and his past to know, that his privacy was very important to him. "That wasn’t too forward... That’s exactly why I told you that. I really want to trust you and I want you to trust me as well. Yes, I had some people around me before that abused my trust
and I will not let that happen ever again" as he said that his smile faltered and for the first time in our conversation I saw the real Henry, the one that was just a human being with emotions and doubts, not Henry Cavill the actor. But he composed himself very quickly. "Your main task is to watch my schedule and remind me of meetings and appointments I have. Here on set you will get my timeline from Lauren and I already have a complete schedule for the next two weeks with appointments like interviews and training sessions that I need to attend in addition to filming. You have to watch the clock so that I don’t mix anything up, but I don’t think that this will be a problem for you. Lauren said that you are a fantastic organizer." He gave me the most reassuring smile and I blushed instantly which didn’t go unnoticed to Henry. "Ah and there is one more thing I’d like to ask you right before we start... because our schedule is very packed I thought it would be the best, if you could skip your drives in the morning and evening and therefore move in with me into my rental house at Berkshire." He beamed at me. "I am sorry what?" I couldn’t believe my ears. Did Henry really ask me if I wanted to share a house with him...heaven help that could not be real. "Yeah well it´s just effective isn’t it?" He scratched his head and seemed to be somewhat unsure of himself for a moment. "But you don’t need to if you are not comfortable with it" he tried to ease up the situation, certainly not used to female hesitance. "No no its OK. It’s totally fine for me and I bet that your house has a guest room and we don’t need to share a bed." I tried to answer as cockily as possible. "Well this darling, depends totally on you" Henry grinned at me with a smug smile. OK now ladies and gentleman I am dead. Was that a serious invitation for a hook up?I sat there speechless, bright red and left with an open mouth. "No worries princess I am just kidding" he winked at me ahh ooh OK it would have been too good to be true anyway.. but wait did he just called me princess? "Of course, I have a guest room. If you want to, we can head over to your apartment and catch your belongings now" with that he stood up and held out his hand to me. As I took it and he helped me to stand up, some sort of electricity stroke me. Henry pulled me towards him and now just a few inches separated us as he looked down to me, right into my eyes with that earth-shattering stare of his bright eyes. Henry leaned down to my ear and whispered " And princess just one more thing...I am sure in no time you will beg me to let me sleep you in my bed" Oh holy mother...what the fuck was going on here....
Tbc
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lumosandnoxwriting · 4 years
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Figuring it Out Together - Fred Weasley
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Title: Figuring it Out Together Pairing: Fred x Fem!Reader Warning: NSFW!! Male receiving oral, female receiving oral, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex, some dom/sub elements but nothing too intense, begging, semi-public sex Summary: landing in detention with the person she hates most is the last thing Y/N ever wants to do. But of course, with Fred Weasley around nothing ever seems to work out the way Y/N thinks it will. A/N: this is for the anon who wanted an enemies to lovers smut with Fred! The summary is shit but what else is new lol. Thank you so much to @fandomscombine​ and the two anons who helped me develop this idea!! Requests are open and feedback is always appreciated! I’ve started a tag list, so send me a message or ask if you’d like to be added! Tags: @pandaxnienke​
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“Oi, Weasley! Get your ass back here!” Y/N shouts, chasing behind Fred as he heads towards the Gryffindor locker room with his brother. Fred and George stop in the tracks and turn around at the same time, the exact same cheeky smile on their mouths.
“Y/N!” George greets as she approaches.
“To what do we owe this pleasure?” Fred asks.
“You!” Y/N growls, pointing at Fred.
As Y/N comes to stand in front of them they both can’t help but notice how angry she is. Her face is flushed red and her eyes are dark and narrowed. Thankful that her anger seems to be directed at Fred, George gives his brother a sympathetic pat on the shoulder before turning around and following the rest of the team into the locker room.
“Me?” Fred teases, pointing to himself. “I’ve done something to rile up Miss prim and proper Y/N? Give me a moment, I need to bask in the glory.” Fred closes his eyes, tilts his head back and opens his arms as if the heavens have opened up and sunlight is gleaming down on him.
All this does is infuriate Y/N further, and when she finally gets close enough she shoves Fred as hard as she can. He doesn’t really move much, but it shocks him, and that’s enough for her. “What’s your problem you fucking prick? Why did you do that?”
“You’re going to have to elaborate, darling,” Fred responds casually, crossing his arms over his chest. “There’s a lot of things I’ve done in my life to classify me as a prick, so I’m going to need more details.”
“You broke his arm,” Y/N clarifies, gesturing towards the Quidditch pitch.
Fred rolls his eyes. “Your brother has suffered far worse injuries during a game, Y/N. Madam Pomfrey will have him fixed up in no time. No need for all the dramatics.”
Fred’s casual attitude does nothing but make Y/N angrier, and she shoves him again. “Most of them due to you no doubt! You knew how important this game was and yet you still had to go out of your way to be a complete asshat!”
Ravenclaw and Gryffindor have just finished a grueling match, and Fred spent most of it hitting bludgers at Y/N’s older brother Matthew like they were the only two people on the pitch. While Y/N normally would be loving the opportunity to rub in her house’s win, Y/N had been praying for Ravenclaw to win this particular match. It’s been Matthew’s dream to be a professional Quidditch player since he was a little kid, and this match was his opportunity to make that a reality. Scouts from a few different professional teams were in attendance, and the Ravenclaw team has spent weeks fitting in extra practices to give them the upper advantage on Gryffindor.
Even Y/N was positive that they would take the win, until Fred made it his personal agenda to ensure Matthew never scored a goal. Y/N’s brother had spent most of the game whizzing around the field avoiding Fred, and he failed to score a single goal. And the icing on the cake was that 20 minutes before Harry caught the snitch Fred hit a bludger so hard that Matthew couldn’t avoid it, and it came into direct contact with his arm – shattering quite a few of the bones in it.
Fred huffs. “What did you want me to do? Throw the game so your stupid brother could show off to all of those recruiters? Me hitting bludgers at him so he doesn’t score is kinda the whole point of the game, Y/N.”
“Don’t try and act like I’m the one in the wrong here, Fred!” Y/N shouts, gathering the attention of some of the students heading back towards the castle. “You were focusing a bit too hard on Matthew and you know it! There was six other Ravenclaw players on the pitch, did you think about trying to hit some bludgers towards them?”
“Oh fuck off, Y/N,” Fred spits, returning her anger. “It’s a fucking game, get over it. Why do you always have to be such a bitch? You suck the fun out of everything.”
Y/N is seething with anger, and just as she starts to pull her hand back to slap Fred across the face, Professor McGonagall is stepping in between them.
“What on God’s green earth do you two think you’re doing?” McGonagall asks, looking between the two of them. “Mr. Weasley, Ms. Y/L/N. Detention, all next week and I’ll have 50 points from each of you. Now I suggest you two go find something else to do before I make it a month.”
Y/N flips Fred off as McGonagall walks away before she’s turning on her heel and stomping back up to the castle.
-
“Will you sit down, your pacing is making me dizzy,” Matthew groans, putting his head in his hand.
“Sorry,” Y/N apologizes, giving her brother a sheepish smile. She takes a seat on the edge of his bed, trying not to jostle Matthew too much. Madam Pomfrey had been able to heal his arm quickly, but some of the potions she’d given him left him quite dizzy, so he’s still resting in the Hospital Wing.
“Fred is a prick, Y/N. You didn’t have to confront him,” Matthew says, looking up at Y/N. “Although I really wish you would have slapped him.”
“If McGonagall had only showed up a few seconds later,” Y/N laughs. “I’ve never had the urge to hit someone before but there’s just something about his stupid face that makes me so mad. You’ve been working so hard for this match and then he called me a bitch,” Y/N sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Don’t feel bad, and besides, this is a moment we should be celebrating.” When Y/N gives Matthew a confused look he laughs. “Your first detention! I’m so proud of you,” he says wistfully, pretending to wipe away a tear.
“Oh shove it,” Y/N says with a giggle. “I’m going to be stuck in a room every night for the next week with Fred doing whatever McGonagall wants, sounds lovely,” she adds sarcastically with an eyeroll.
“To be fair most girls would kill to be in your position,” Matthew points out with a laugh. “Locked in a room for hours on end with Fred Weasley. That’s like a girl’s wet dream come to life.” When Y/N grimaces at the thought Matthew gives her a look. “Every girl except for you apparently. Why do you even hate Fred so much?”
Y/N gives Matthew a look of surprise. “You can’t be serious?” When Matthew continues to look at her dumbfounded she scoffs. “You were at this school for two years before I was and all I heard when you were home on break was how much of an annoying prat Fred is. I mean I tried not to hate Fred just because you did when I got sorted into Gryffindor and he was pretty okay at first. But one day he just started being a dick to me and I realized you were right.”
“Probably because you’re my sister. I’m always on his case about pulling pranks or messing around in class, he probably figured you’d be the same way,” Matthew reasons.
Y/N shrugs. “Well he’s a bag of dicks anyway, so I’m not too bothered by it.”
-
Monday evening comes far too quickly for Y/N’s liking, and after dinner she trots off to the trophy room, Fred begrudgingly following behind. McGonagall is already waiting for them, and she directs them to sit on the couch in front of her. Y/N takes a seat and practically hugs the arm rest so she’s sitting as far away from Fred as possible.
“The behavior you two exhibited on Saturday was unacceptable and downright barbaric,” McGonagall scolds, her tone sharp. “You’ll be spending the week making sure every one of the trophies in this room shines like it’s brand new.” Y/N looks around at the vast amount of trophies in the room as McGonagall hands them each a rag. “This should give you plenty of time to not only think about your actions, but to resolve whatever animosity exists between the two of you.” She gives them each a stern look before heading towards the door. “I’ll be back to check on you both.”
Y/N groans as McGonagall shuts the door behind her and she hoists herself off of the couch towards the mantle, needing to put some space between her and Fred. McGonagall may want them to sort out their issues, but Y/N wants nothing to do with Fred, and she still has some lingering anger from their fight on Saturday so she’s sure all it would do is end in another detention. Y/N grabs a random trophy and starts scrubbing at it, keeping her back towards Fred.
“This is such bullshit,” Fred mutters to himself after a few minutes of working in silence. Y/N can feel his glare and her shoulders tense up, but she doesn’t say anything or turn around. “This is all your fault you know,” Fred continues a few moments later when Y/N continues to ignore him.
Y/N places the trophy she’d been working on back and picks up another one, determined not to give Fred a reaction. Clearly he’s trying to instigate her into getting into more trouble and while Fred may be used to serving detention Y/N plans on making this week her one and only stint. Y/N finally relaxes after a few minutes of silence, when Fred starts to hum some random song rather loudly and out of tune.
“Un-fucking-believable,” Y/N mutters to herself as she starts to work on another trophy. “Shut up!” Y/N demands, slamming the trophy she’d been working on down. As much as she wants to just ignore Fred, she also wants to keep her sanity.
“No,” Fred responds dully before he continues humming.
Y/N turns around to glare at Fred, and the sweet smile on his face only annoys her further. “Can you not be an asshole? For like, once in your life. Let’s just get through this week and then we can continue to hate each other from afar.”
Fred places the plaque he’d been working on down and leans back on the sofa, crossing his arms. “Why should I make this easy on you? You’re the one that got me into this mess.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right. You totally didn’t shout back at me or call me any names. You just stood there and let me yell at you,” Y/N responds with an eyeroll.
Fred narrows his eyes. “You started it,” he fires back. “I was on my way back to the locker room when you ran up to me and started shouting. And don’t forget you shoved me a few times. I only shouted back because I was tired of listening to your stupid voice.”
“Oh please, you barely moved when I shoved you. You’re acting like I broke your arm or something. Oh wait, that was you,” Y/N reminds him harshly. “You broke my brother’s arm during the most important Quidditch game of his life!”
Fred stands up and takes a step towards Y/N, his fists clenched. “You’re still on that? It’s a game Y/N! I wasn’t trying to break his arm, it just happened! You’re being such a fucking cry baby over nothing!”
“I’m not being a cry baby!” Y/N insist, taking a step towards Fred.
“Oh you’re right my mistake,” Fred spits. “You’re being a fucking bitch!”
Y/N brings her hand out to slap Fred, but his hand wraps around her wrist tightly. Before she has a chance to try and struggle against his grip Fred is pulling Y/N into his chest and kissing her hard. Y/N kisses him back with enthusiasm and moans into Fred’s mouth as his hands land on her bum and give it a tight squeeze.
“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad,” Fred growls as he starts to bite and suck at Y/N’s neck. “You’re annoying as hell too,” he reminds as his hands shove up her shirt. “But so fucking hot.”
“Just shut up and kiss me,” Y/N demands, bringing their lips together again. Fred may be an annoying git, but even Y/N has to admit that he’s attractive and being with Fred will definitely make detention more interesting. “You have too many clothes on,” Y/N pants as they break apart, her hands starting to loosen Fred’s tie.
“I could say the same to you, princess,” Fred says, smirking when a shiver runs down Y/N’s spine. Normally the nickname would make her blood boil, but in this context it makes her pussy throb.
Y/N tosses Fred’s tie away as his fingers start to make quick work of her button down. “Why are these uniforms so fucking hard to take off,” Y/N groans as she starts to work at Fred’s shirt as well.
“That desperate for me already, Y/N?” Fred teases as he pushes her shirt off of her shoulders. He leans down to suck a mark onto the top of her breast as his hands move around her back to unhook her bra.
“Don’t flatter yourself, Weasley,” Y/N chides as she takes Fred’s shirt off. Her bra finally hits the ground, and Y/N lets out a whine as Fred’s mouth starts licking and sucking at her nipples. “You kissed me first, remember.”
“Only because I wanted you to shut the fuck up.” Fred steps back and sits on the couch, pulling Y/N down onto his lap. She straddles his waist and they both moan as she grinds down against him. Fred’s hands start to massage Y/N’s breasts and his thumbs start to roughly rub her nipples, causing her to let out a breathy moan. “That’s right, princess. Keep making those noises for me.”
Y/N bites her lip and rocks down against Fred again, determined to keep every noise that bubbles up her throat down. This seems to only spur Fred on, and his head dips down to take one of her nipples in his mouth, his tongue flicking the sensitive bud as his other hand continues rubbing the other. “Fuck, Fred,” Y/N moans, unable to keep it in any longer.
“Love the way you moan my name,” Fred praises, rocking his hips up into Y/N. He’s painfully hard in his trousers and he’s desperate for some friction. “Although I think there’s something even better for your mouth to do, princess.”
Y/N is dripping wet in her panties, and she hates to admit that the thought of sucking Fred’s cock sends a tingle right through her core. “Gonna have to ask me for it, Fred,” she teases, sinking to her knees in front of him.
Fred kicks his shoes off as Y/N undoes his belt and starts to work at the button of his trousers. “Look at you, you’re practically drooling,” Fred taunts playfully. “Give it another few seconds and you’ll be begging me to put my cock in your mouth.”
“You sure about that?” Y/N asks, looking up at Fred. She pulls his trousers and boxers down to his thighs in one go, and Y/N has to bite her tongue to keep from moaning as his cock springs out and slaps against his stomach. Fred exudes big dick energy, and Y/N’s pussy throbs as her hand wraps around him, pleasantly surprised that his size matches his personality.
Fred throws his head back and groans as Y/N starts to slowly stroke him. “Just fucking suck it already,” Fred demands. “You know you want it, slut.”  
“Thought I was your princess?” Y/N teases  as she leans forward, her tongue coming out to kitten lick at his sensitive head.
“Only good girls get to be called princess,” Fred moans, his hand fisting in her hair. “Bad girls who don’t do what I tell them get called slut.” Fred tugs on Y/N’s hair, and he smirks at the moan she lets out. “So you better get sucking if you wanna be my princess.”
Y/N presses her thighs together to try and get some relief on her clit as she decides what to do next. She desperately wants to suck Fred off, but a part of her wants to hold off for a bit and push him to beg her instead. But as Y/N strokes Fred, a bead of precum bubbles up on the tip of his cock, and it makes her mouth water.
“That’s it, princess,” Fred moans as Y/N finally takes him into her mouth and swallows him down. He watches as his length disappears into Y/N’s mouth, his hips twitching as he hits the back of her throat. “Fuck your mouth feels amazing. Gonna have to shove my cock into it every time you get mouthy with me.”
Y/N hums around Fred, her hand starting to work at the part of his cock she can’t fit in her mouth. She pulls her head back so her tongue can twist around the tip, Fred’s moans and pants only encouraging her further. Y/N bobs her head down, gagging as Fred hits the back of her throat. She starts to pull back, but Fred’s hips surge forward, fucking his cock back into her throat and making her gag again.
“Did I say you could fuck my throat?” Y/N scolds as she pulls off. Fred’s hips lift up again to chase her mouth, and she wraps her hand around his cock.
“Sorry princess,” Fred apologizes smugly. “You sound so good gagging around my cock I couldn’t help it.” Fred uses the grip he has on Y/N’s hair to bring her mouth back towards his crotch. “Just keep sucking, I won’t do it again.”
“I don’t really want to anymore,” Y/N teases. Her thumb swipes over the tip of Fred’s cock with every upstroke, causing his hips to jerk. “Gonna have to beg me for it, Fred.”
Fred groans. “Such a fucking tease, Y/N. Fine don’t suck my cock,” Fred says flatly, trying to bait her into taking him back down her throat. “Your hand feels just as good,” he groans.
Y/N narrows her eyes at Fred and pulls her hand away. “You wanna come from a hand? Then you can get yourself off.” She stands up then and kicks off her shoes before slowly shimmying out of her school skirt and panties. Y/N then lays back on the floor with her feet flat, knees bent and open so Fred can see her dripping core. She props herself up on one elbow and looks Fred dead in the eyes as her other hand starts to wander down to her pussy. “You can use your hand, and I’ll use mine.”
Fred watches in rapt awe as Y/N starts to slowly rub her clit, small moans falling from her lips. His cock twitches and he resists the urge to wrap his hand around himself. “Look how fucking wet you are, princess. All of that, just for me?” Fred bites his lip as Y/N starts to tease her entrance with her finger. “How about you come on my cock instead?”
Y/N whines as she sinks a finger into her heat, her attention completely focused on Fred. She watches as he stands up and gets rid of the rest of his clothes, her pussy throbbing at how wet his cock is still from her saliva. When Fred settles on his knees between her legs, Y/N reluctantly stops her movements on her core and places one hand on Fred’s chest while the other wraps around his cock.
“You wanna fuck me, Fred?” When Fred nods and goes to move forward, Y/N shoves him back. “Gonna have to beg me for it.”
“Stop fucking around, Y/N,” Fred complains. “You’re desperate for my cock and you know it.”
Y/N’s walls clench around nothing and her hips buck as if they’re searching for something to fill her. “Beg me for my pussy, Fred,” Y/N demands. “Beg me, and I’ll let you fuck me.”
“Let me fuck you, princess, please,” he begs. “Wanna ruin you with my cock, stretch that pretty little pussy out.”
Y/N is desperate for release at this point, and Fred begging for her only makes it worse. She immediately lets go of him and grabs his face, pulling him down for a messy kiss. As soon as he’s free to move Fred inches forward and slams into Y/N, both of them moaning as he buries himself in her completely.
“Fucking hell, Fred,” Y/N moans. Fred starts to fuck into her quickly, hitching one of her legs over his shoulder so he can move deeper inside of her. “Oh my fucking god right there,” Y/N pants as his cock starts to drag against her g-spot on each thrust. “You fill me up so good, Fred, fuck. Such a big cock, fucking me so well.” Fred starts to rub her clit, and her walls clench around him.
“You’re so fucking tight, Y/N,” Fred compliments. “Can feel your walls stretching for me, like they were made to take my cock.” Fred lands a particularly hard thrust and he’s rewarded with the hottest moan he’s ever heard. “Bet I’m the biggest you’ve ever taken. Aren’t I, princess?”
“Oh fuck, Fred,” Y/N gasps, her orgasm suddenly hitting her. She can feel her walls tightening and spasming around Fred, and her legs start to shake as pleasure washes over her. “Come inside me Fred please,” Y/N begs as she pulls their mouths together.
Fred’s hips still as he releases inside Y/N, his hips just slowly rolling to help him through his orgasm. He kisses Y/N slow as they both come down and once his cock stops twitching Fred slowly pulls out of Y/N and sits back on his shins. They both just sit their basking in the pleasure that’s still coursing through their veins, when footsteps start to approach the door.
“Shit, shit, fucking shit, that must be McGonagall,” Y/N panics, scrambling to find her clothes.
Fred grabs his wand and casts a spell at the door to keep it from opening. “Quick, get dressed. That’ll only stop her for a few minutes.”
They both get dressed hurriedly, and Y/N has just barely grabbed her rag and started to scrub at a random trophy when the door bursts open.
“Bloody old doors,” McGonagall mutters as she steps inside. She eyes both Fred and Y/N quizzically and Y/N holds her breath, waiting to be told off. “And how are things?” she asks.
Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. “Going well, professor.”
Fred nods in agreement. “We’ve been hard at work. Merlin’s honor,” Fred adds.
“Very well then. I shall see you both tomorrow after dinner.” McGonagall steps out of the way, and both Y/N and Fred practically throw down the things in their hands as they rush to leave the room.
They walk back to the common room side by side, neither of them really sure what to say. Fred says the password as they reach the Fat Lady, and he lets Y/N go in first. Before Y/N has a chance to say anything to Fred he’s heading to join George on one of the couches, and Hermione is calling Y/N over.
“How was detention?” Hermione asks as Y/N reaches the table she’s sat at.
Y/N shrugs, trying to keep from blushing. “It was fine. Pretty boring actually.”
“Only four more days,” Hermione says with a laugh. “I’m working on that Charms essay if you wanna join me.”
“Yeah, totally. I’m just gonna go upstairs and grab a quick shower first and then grab my stuff.” Y/N can feel Fred’s release dripping out of her and into her panties, and she’ll never be able to focus on her homework if she doesn’t get cleaned up first.
“See you in a bit then.”
Y/N gives Hermione a smile before she turns on her heel and starts to head towards the staircase. Her legs are still a little shaky, and as she takes the first few steps up she stumbles a bit. Y/N looks back to see if anyone noticed, only to be met with Fred’s eyes. He gives her a sly wink, and she flips him off before disappearing up the stairs.
-
“So detention with Weasley was okay?” Matthew asks Y/N the next morning at breakfast.
They’re sitting together at the Ravenclaw table as always, and Y/N is thankful for the space it gives her from Fred. Last night was the best sex Y/N has ever had, and the fact that it was with someone she has hated for years has done nothing but confuse her further. She still hates Fred without a shadow of a doubt, but Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t want it to happen again.
“Yeah, it was pretty chill. McGonagall had us scrubbing trophies and stuff in the trophy room for hours which was mind numbing but, other than that it was uneventful,” Y/N lies. Telling her brother about her sex life is low on the list of things Y/N wants to do under normal circumstances, and it’s even lower when her partner is someone her brother considers an enemy.
“A bit of hard labor never hurt,” Matthew jokes, causing Y/N to choke on her orange juice.
“Yeah right. Hard labor,” Y/N tries to joke back once her coughs have died down. If only he knew the kind of hard labor we got up to Y/N thinks to herself as her eyes wander over towards the Gryffindor table. Her eyes meet Fred’s and she has to look away to avoid blushing.
“Hello, earth to Fred,” George calls, waving his hand in front of Fred’s face.
Fred drags his gaze away from Y/N so he can look at his brother. “Sorry, what did you say?”
George chuckles and looks over his shoulder to see what had Fred so occupied. “Ah, Y/N,” he drawls, looking back at Fred. “You were pretty quiet after you got back from detention. Did something happen?”
“No, not at all,” Fred lies, hoping his cheeks don’t start to heat up. Much like Y/N, Fred is completely confused about their encounter. He’s loathed both Y/N and her brother for as long as he can remember, but less than 12 hours ago they were having some of the best sex Fred has ever had and he’s already thinking about what they might get up to when they’re alone tonight.
“I was kinda surprised you came back in one piece,” Ron adds with a laugh. Fred throws his spoon at Ron, and the younger boy dodges it. “No need to be so rude. You two have hated each other for years and she looked ready to beat your ass on Saturday. I figured she’d take the opportunity to do it when you were alone.”
“Why do you two hate each other so much?” Hermione asks from Ron’s side. “It seems like you’ve been at each other’s throats since our first year.”
“I hate her because Y/N is an uppity asshole like her brother. Matthew is always getting me and George in trouble and Y/N does the same,” Fred explains. “Your first year, George was serving a detention with Snape and I set up what was going to be our best revenge prank yet. I went all out, it took weeks of planning.  Except it never went off. Someone ratted on me and McGonagall intervened. I got in probably the worst trouble I’ve ever been in, Mum sent Howlers for days afterwards. I was in detention for months.”
“I remember that! Mum was still pissed at Christmas,” Ron says.
Hermione knits her eyebrows together. “I remember that too. But what does that have to do with Y/N?”
Fred sighs. “When I was leaving the prank to wait for George so we could set it off, Y/N passed me in the hallway. It had to be her who ratted me out just like her brown-nosing brother.”
“But it couldn’t have been Y/N. I spent most of the afternoon with her in the library working on a Herbology assignment. Ron and Harry were there too,” Hermione explains, and both Ron and Harry nod in agreement. “She must have passed you on the way into the library. By the time we left the library you were already in trouble, there’s no way she could have gone to see McGonagall between the time she passed you and when she got to the library.”
“Bet you it was Malfoy,” Harry adds. “He was leaving the library as Y/N entered, remember? He shoved her into the door jamb as they passed by each other.”
“Hold on, hold on, hold on,” Fred interrupts, his tone dripping with confusion. “You mean to tell me that I’ve spent the past 5 years hating Y/N for something she didn’t even do?”
Hermione nods. “Seems that way.”
Fred groans and stands up. “I’ll see you guys later.”
Fred heads out of the Great Hall and towards class, feeling even more confused than he had before.
-
“You plan on ignoring me all night, princess?” Fred says quietly, coming up behind Y/N. McGonagall has just barely shut the door behind her to leave them be and Fred doesn’t want to waste any time. He’s decided in the time it’s been since breakfast that he really isn’t sure how he truly feels about Y/N and having sex with her seems to be the best way for him to figure it out. He’d been trying to catch her attention all day, but Y/N barely even glanced at him.
“How the hell do you move so quietly?” Y/N asks, toying with the rag in her hands. Truthfully Y/N had planned on ignoring Fred. She spent most of the day trying to decide what to do about this murky new relationship they’ve gotten themselves in, and finally settled on letting Fred take the next step. Y/N is prideful above anything else, and she’d rather streak through the hallways naked than come on to Fred when he only saw their sex as a one-time thing.
Fred presses a kiss to the side of Y/N’s neck, smiling into the skin when she shivers. “You didn’t answer my question, princess.”
“You that desperate for me already, Fred?” Y/N teases, turning around to look at him.
“No,” Fred responds slowly, his gaze flicking to Y/N’s lips for a moment. “But I know you enjoyed last night, as did I. So I don’t see why we can’t do it again.”
“Maybe because we’re supposed to be shining these stupid trophies, not having sex. We barely did any work last night and I have a feeling McGonagall will notice when everything looks the same again,” Y/N responds in lieu of actually responding to Fred’s preposition.
“I can take care of that,” Fred insists. He takes his wand out of his back pocket and casts a spell which makes several of the trophies around them shine like diamonds. “There. Now McGonagall will have no idea what we were really getting up to in here.”
Y/N drops her rag and turns around, her arms winding around Fred’s neck as his wrap around her waist. She bites her lip, unable to stop her eyes from traveling down to Fred’s mouth. “This doesn’t change anything between us,” Y/N says softly, looking into Fred’s eyes. “Outside of this room I still hate you and you still hate me. Got it?”
“Of course, princess,” Fred confirms. Once Y/N relaxes in his embrace Fred wastes no time and presses their lips together, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth.
Y/N moans into the kiss, one of her hands trailing down Fred’s torso to his hardening erection. She palms him lightly, smirking when his knees quiver. “So hard for me already, Freddie? You miss being buried in my pussy that much?”
Fred starts to trail kisses down Y/N’s neck, one of his hands inching up her skirt. He pushes the fabric aside as he sucks a mark into her skin, and let’s two of his fingers rub through her wet folds. “You’re one to talk,” Fred teases as Y/N gasps. “I’ve barely even touched you and you’re dripping wet. Been thinking about my cock, princess?”
“Fred,” Y/N whines as he sinks a finger into her heat. She clenches around him, her hand starting to palm him harder.
Fred pulls his hand out of her panties and kisses away Y/N’s pout. “Your mouth felt so good on me yesterday, princess,” Fred starts, leading them over to the couch. “And tonight, I’m gonna use my mouth on you to say thank you.”
Y/N shivers as Fred pushes her back onto the couch, her arousal growing even more. His voice is deep and slow, the complete opposite to how it was last night. Yesterday they had both teased each other, but it’s clear by Fred’s actions so far that he’s in no mood to play the same games again.
“How generous,” Y/N teases, watching as Fred starts to unbutton his shirt.
“If you want me to tease I can tease,” Fred muses, dropping his shirt on the ground next to his tie. “Or you can get naked and I’ll eat that pretty pussy of yours until you’re begging me to let you cum.”
Y/N immediately kicks off her shoes and wiggles out of her skirt and panties, letting them drop to the floor. “Please eat me out, Fred,” she pleads as her hands start to work at the buttons of her shirt.
Fred kicks Y/N’s discarded clothes out of the way and drops to his knees, grabbing a thigh in each hand. He pulls her legs apart and settles in between them before pressing kisses up her thigh and towards her heat. “How can I say no when you ask so nicely, princess?” Fred stops to suck a mark on the inside of her thigh, only an inch or two away from where Y/N needs him most. “Bet you taste so good, princess.”
“Put your mouth on me and you’ll find out,” Y/N pants, fisting a hand in Fred’s hair.
Fred looks up at Y/N, his mouth running dry and how beautiful she looks. Her cheeks are flushed pink, and her school shirt lays open, the tops of her breasts spilling out over the cups of her bra. Fred can still make out some of the marks he left on them yesterday as her chest heaves with deep breaths. Y/N’s stomach is quivering and Fred dips down and licks a long strip from the bottom of her pussy to the top to keep himself from blurting out just how beautiful he finds her.
Y/N moans as Fred’s tongue starts to flick at her clit, tugging his hair slightly. Fred’s fingers are digging into her thighs and it only turns her on more. “More, Fred, please.”
Fred’s tongue travels down from Y/N’s clit to her dripping entrance, slowly sliding into her as he collects her juices. He moans at her taste, letting his tongue fuck in and out of Y/N’s pussy. “Knew you’d taste good,” Fred praises. He sucks Y/N’s clit into his mouth and takes one of his hands off her thigh so he can sink his index finger into her.
“Freddie,” Y/N whines, bearing her hips down onto his finger. He curls it inside of her, and Y/N clenches around it. “Wanna come, please,” Y/N begs.
Fred nibbles lightly on her clit, teasing a second finger around her entrance. “Gonna have to come from just one finger, princess. Want my cock to stretch you out.” Y/N lets out a loud moan at that, and Fred smiles as he presses a wet kiss to her clit. “You like that idea, princess? My cock splitting you open?”
“Fuck me now, Fred,” Y/N demands, tugging on his hair again. “Wanna come around your cock.”
Fred licks up Y/N’s core one last time before he pulls away and starts to work on taking the rest of his clothes off. “Fuck, Y/N. You can’t say shit like that to me and not expect me to bury my cock in you every chance I get.” Fred stands up to get rid of his bottoms, watching as Y/N tosses her shirt aside and takes off her bra. “Don’t think I told you how incredible your tits are yesterday, Y/N. They’re so soft and round and perfect,” he groans.
Y/N flushes under Fred’s praise and climbs onto his lap when he sits down next to her. She presses their lips together and kisses him messily, one of her hands gripping his shoulder while the other reaches around to grip the base of his cock. “Gonna make me do all the work, Weasley? Typical man,” she teases, letting the tip of his cock tease her entrance.
Fred’s hands land on Y/N’s hips and he smirks as their lips connect once again. When Y/N teases her entrance again, Fred jerks his hips up and slams her down at the same time, shoving his cock all the way into Y/N. “What was that, princess? About me doing all the work?”
Y/N gasps as Fred enters her, her walls twitching around him. “So fucking big, Fred, holy hell. Feels like it’s splitting me in two. Feels so good.”
Fred hums and kisses Y/N again as she starts to bounce on him, his hips meeting her thrusts. “Riding me so good, princess,” he groans. “You feel amazing around me. Always so tight for me.” One of Fred’s hands travels to Y/N’s core and starts to lightly rub her clit while the other starts to pinch and toy with her nipple. He leans forward and presses his lips to her neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin.
“Not where people can see,” Y/N warns, tipping her head back to give Fred more room to kiss. She leans back to brace a hand on Fred’s thigh, whining at the new angle. The tip of Fred’s cock rubs her g-spot with each movement, and Y/N can feel her orgasm building.
“But that’s half the fun,” Fred pouts, examining the few bruises he’s left on her neck. “Want everyone to know who this pussy belongs too.”
Y/N moans as Fred’s head dips down and takes one of her nipples into his mouth. “So this pussy belongs to you?” Y/N stutters, her eyes fluttering closed as Fred nibbles on her nipple and starts to rub her clit faster.
“Does it not?” Fred asks, fucking his hips up into Y/N harder. “Or is there someone else that makes you feel this good?”
“Fred,” Y/N moans as he pinches her clit and nipple at the same time, her orgasm taking over her suddenly.
“Fucking hell,” Fred moans as Y/N tightens around him and collapses into his chest. He grips her hips and moves her on his cock as he chases his own release. “How the fuck are you even tighter?” He groans as Y/N clenches around him again, and he brings her down on him one last time before his cock starts to twitch and he releases inside of her.
Fred starts to rub Y/N’s back as they both come down, whining as she shifts on his softening cock. “So good for me, princess,” he praises, pressing a few kisses to the side of Y/N’s face.
Y/N pulls away from Fred slightly so she can kiss him. Their lips move together softly and Y/N whines into it when Fred lifts her off of his cock. “Feel so empty without you,” she admits sheepishly, her cheeks heating up.
Fred chuckles and starts to trace shapes into her sweaty skin. “Trust me, love. If McGonagall wasn’t due to barge through that door any minute now we’d be getting ready for round 2.”
-
By the time Friday rolls around Y/N is more confused than ever. Every time her and Fred go their separate ways after detention leaves her with an empty feeling in her chest and she’s not quite sure what to make of it. It doesn’t help that Fred has started being nice to her outside of their detentions too.
Instead of his usual hard glares she finds him looking at her softly during meals and he greets her every time their paths cross instead of ignoring her as per usual. Their housemates are starting to notice Fred’s change in behavior as well. One morning he lets her have the last piece of bacon on the platter, and Hermione gives her a questioning look. When she’s doing homework in the common room with Harry and her ink runs out, Fred pulls a new bottle out of his bag and immediately hands it over to her, causing Harry’s jaw to practically drop. It’s almost as if they’re friends now, and it only complicates things in Y/N’s head further.
Y/N has found herself actually enjoying Fred’s tenderness, and she doesn’t quite know what that means. Tonight is the last night they’ll have to spend together, and Y/N is both scared and curious about what that means for their relationship. She spares a glance at Fred from down the table as Hermione chatters on about something, and she looks away quickly when his eyes meet hers.
“Last detention, what are you gonna do once you’re a free man?” George asks, pulling Fred’s attention back to him. When all his brother does is shrug, George frowns. “What the hell has gotten into you? You’ve been acting weird all week and now you almost seem, sad that your detention is over with.”
Fred bites his lip, pushing his food around on his plate with his fork. “Just been thinking about stuff.” Fred has gotten himself in a major problem, and he’s been trying to figure out how to get himself out of it all week. After his second time with Y/N things became clearer to Fred, he certainly doesn’t hate Y/N anymore, and he’s found himself developing feelings for her. He wouldn’t say he’s in love, but he’d be lying if he said he can’t see himself falling in love with Y/N.
He’s been paying more attention to her since his revelation that his deep-rooted hate was based in a misunderstanding, and he’s noticed so many things about her that he finds so endearing. It certainly doesn’t help that he’s had her moaning and writhing underneath him every day this week and every time she moans his name his heart swells.
“This about Y/N?” George asks carefully, not wanting to push Fred too much. Being a twin has its advantages, and while he can’t say he knows what’s going on in Fred’s head he can tell something is off with him and it’s not too hard to guess why.
“I don’t hate her anymore,” Fred admits quietly. “And it’s not like I’m in love with her or anything, but I think I could be. Someday. If she would let me.” Fred sighs and looks at George. “But I’m pretty sure she still hates my guts, I mean how could she not? I’ve been a dick to her for years and it’s stupid of me to think that a few nights of sex can change that.”
George chokes on his pumpkin juice. “You two have been screwing?”
“Shh, shh,” Fred says quickly, looking around to make sure no one overheard. “Keep your voice down, I don’t need the whole school knowing. Especially Y/N’s brother.”
“I thought you two were just making out or something,” George continues quietly. “Now I know why you’re so happy when you get back from detention every night.” George wiggles his eyebrows at Fred, and Fred rolls his eyes in response.
“We agreed that we wouldn’t continue hooking up after our detention was up and things are going to go right back to how they were before it started,” Fred pauses to swallow the lump in his throat. “But I don’t feel the same way about her as I did before and I don’t know if I can start pretending to hate her.”
George gives Fred a sad smile and ruffles his hair. “I wish I could help you, Freddie.”
“Yeah. Me too.” Fred watches as Y/N stands up to head to detention, and he slowly follows her lead trying not to pay too much attention to how her hips sway.
-
“I guess this is it,” Y/N says quietly, trying to not let the sadness she feels creep into her chest. Fred has just finished fucking her into the carpet and she’s cuddled into his side as they catch their breath. In a few minutes McGonagall will be back, and whatever this is between her and Fred will be over.
“Guess so,” Fred responds, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. His chest is already aching, and they haven’t even parted ways yet.
Y/N tilts her head up and catches Fred’s mouth in one final kiss. “It was nice, to not be your enemy for a bit.”
“Let’s not go back to being enemies then,” Fred says carefully. When Y/N looks up at him worriedly Fred musters up what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “Friends?”
Y/N nods, trying to figure out why Fred’s offer of friendship simultaneously makes her happy and sad. “Sure, friends.”
They part and get dresses quietly, barely even able to look at each other. When McGonagall finally pushes through the door their standing at opposite ends of the room, and the awkwardness in the air is evident.
“I hope you two learned your lesson,” McGonagall says quietly before watching the two of them scurry away, their heads hanging low.
-
Despite the fact that she and Fred had agreed to be friends, Y/N can’t help but notice that he’s ignoring her. It’s been a little over a week since their last detention, and Fred hasn’t even said two words to Y/N. He’s barely even looked at her. His sudden disappearance from her life has left her both sad and angry, and she’s started to realize that maybe it’s because she really wanted to be more than friends with Fred. She thought maybe he had wanted that too, but with his sudden cool attitude, Y/N isn’t going to be the one searching him out to get to the bottom of it.
“Okay, you’re like, the best sister ever,” Matthew greets as she comes to sit next to him at the Ravenclaw table. It’s fairly early on a Saturday morning, so the Great Hall is still pretty empty.
“I mean I know that,” Y/N says with a laugh as she sits down next to him. “But do you wanna explain why you’re suddenly realizing it too?”
Matthew rolls his eyes and waves around the letter in his hand. “I got this in the mail today, no need to be so coy.”
“What is it?” Y/N grabs the letter from him and scans over it briefly. “One of the teams is going to send another scout to your next game. That’s amazing!”
Matthew frowns at her. “You mean you didn’t write to them?” When Y/N shakes her head, his frown turns into a look of confusion. “The letter says someone at school wrote to them and asked them to reconsider drafting me and that I’m a better player than I demonstrated.”
“Must have been someone on the team,” Y/N muses, taking a sip of orange juice.
“That’s what I thought, but look at the team they sent the letter to,” Matthew insists, tossing the envelope to Y/N.
She looks at it closely, noticing the team emblem embossed into the parchment. “That’s your favorite team,” Y/N points out.
“That’s why I figured it was you. You’re the only one that knows they’re my favorite, and it’s kinda weird that out of the six or seven teams that sent scouts this person would send a letter to the one team I’ve always wanted to play for.”
Y/N’s jaw drop as a conversation she’d had with Fred one night as they laid next to each other to recover. She offhandedly mentioned how sad Matthew had been after receiving a rejection letter from his favorite team. She thought nothing of it at the time when Fred asked her which team it was, but it all makes sense now.
“I think I know who sent that letter. I’ll be back.”
Y/N heads out of the Great Hall and back towards the Gryffindor Common Room, all kinds of emotions flowing through her body.
“Fred!” Y/N shouts as she throws the door to his dorm open. All three of the boys in there jump, frightened by her sudden appearance. She starts to storm towards Fred, and George and Lee take the opportunity to sneak out of the room, shutting the door behind them.
“Do you mind?” Fred says dully. His back is to Y/N and he takes a deep breath to calm himself down. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
As Y/N comes to stand behind Fred she can’t help but notice that he’s standing next to his bed in nothing but his boxers. His hair is messy, and she figures he’s only been awake a few minutes. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Y/N reminds him. “I need to talk to you.”
Fred sighs and turns around to look at her, sitting on his bed. “What?” His voice shakes, and he prays Y/N doesn’t notice.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N asks, trying not to lose her nerve. Fred looks beautiful sitting there, and it’s taking everything in her not to crawl into his lap and kiss him.
Fred rolls his eyes. “Lots of things are wrong with me, Y/N. You’re going to have to elaborate.”
“Why did you send that letter? To the quidditch team?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.
Fred smiles sheepishly and scratches the back of his head. “They weren’t supposed to say you sent the letter,” he mumbles.
“They didn’t. But the only person who knows about Matthew’s dream to play for that team besides he and I is you. And since he didn’t send the letter and neither did I it had to have been you,” Y/N pauses, looking at Fred. “Why did you do it?” she asks again, softer.
“I dunno,” Fred responds with a shrug. “I could tell you were upset about the whole thing, so I figured I’d reach out. The worst they could do is send a letter back to me saying no. And then you’d never have to know about it. And if they said yes Matthew would never know it was me who sent the original letter in.” Fred bites his lips. “I just wanted to do something to make you feel better.”
Y/N’s heart melts. “You did it for me?”
“Why are you surprised? I figured it was obvious there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you. Or have you forgotten about the seven orgasms I gave you last Thursday?” Fred teases.
Y/N can feel her cheeks flush and a shiver runs down her spine at the memory. “Why go through all that and not even take the credit for it?”
“Because of what you said, the second night of our detention,” Fred starts. “You made me promise that us hooking up wouldn’t change our relationship outside of detention and I very clearly broke that promise.”
“But I thought we agreed to be friends?” Y/N admits softly. When Fred nods she sighs in frustration. “Then how come you’ve been ignoring me? I’ve seen you less in the past week than I did when we hated each other.”
“Because I don’t want to be just your friend,” Fred admits. “I want to hold your hand and take you on dates and kiss you and fuck you in my bed. Or your bed. Any bed really I still have fucking carpet burn on my knees,” he jokes, trying to diffuse the air in the room. “I’m starting to feel things for you, Y/N. And I thought just being your friend would be enough but it’s not.”
“Freddie,” Y/N whispers, taking his hand in hers. “Why not just say all that then?”
Fred rolls his eyes. “Maybe because you’ve spent the past five years hating my guts? And you were pretty adamant that you wanted to continue hating me no matter how much sex we had.”
“You seemed to hate me pretty strongly too,” Y/N points out with a quiet laugh. “I wanted to hate you still, I really did. No offense,” she apologizes, squeezing Fred’s hand. “But as we spent more and more time together inside and outside the trophy room I couldn’t even remember why I started hating you in the first place. Your issues with Matthew are your issues with Matthew, and I shouldn’t have made them my issues with you too.”
“That’s why you hated me? Because of Matthew?” Fred asks, pulling Y/N onto his lap.
“It sounds stupid now. But it made sense at the time,” Y/N says quietly.
Fred grips Y/N’s face carefully and brings their lips together in a slow kiss. Their mouths move together softly, and Fred can’t help but notice how perfectly they fit together. Fred nibbles on Y/N’s lips to ask permission to enter her mouth, but Y/N keeps her lips shut tight. Sensing her sudden hesitation, Fred pulls away. “What’s wrong? I thought all that meant we were going to move towards something more. Did I read it all wrong? Oh god I did. I’m sorry I’m such an idiot.”
Y/N presses a reassuring kiss to Fred’s mouth. “It did mean we’re moving towards something more. I want to be something more with you,” Y/N admits. “I just. I don’t know how to be something more with you, Freddie. I don’t know how to be your girlfriend.”
Fred chuckles. “Well I don’t exactly know how to be your boyfriend either.” Fred kisses Y/N again sweetly. “But that’s the fun part of a new relationship, isn’t it? Figuring it out together.”
“At least we’ve already got the sex part figured out.” Y/N laughs as Fred stands up and throws her down on the bed.
Fred crawls up the bed and drapes himself over Y/N. “Doesn’t hurt to work on it, though,” Fred teases, kissing her hard.
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spacedikut · 4 years
Text
the very insecure dr reid ; spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
summary: “Could you write another fic about early Spence where he’s all insecure” combined with another request :) 5730 words
a/n: title taken from s1e5!! i wrote this months ago aka before i decided to try to make my fics gender neutral and i tried to make the appropriate changes but im also a dumbass so! yeah! 
masterlist
Spencer is a man of science, if you didn’t already know.
This means he doesn’t spend his time fretting over what isn’t there, what doesn’t have facts and evidence to back it up. Of course, he dabbles in reading conspiracy theories and enjoys learning about various religions and things of that sort, but these are to expand his already infinite knowledge, not because he particularly believes in them.
The first time he believed there was some kind of God was when you kissed him.
It was after the case where both Elle and Spencer were trapped on a train with a paranoid schizophrenic – he still remembers how you reacted when he agreed to being sent in, how you tried to keep it light-hearted but pulled him aside to solemnly tell him you didn’t think you’d be able to live without him (if you do something rash and stupid, Spencer, I swear to God-). You threatened to nipple cripple him if he did die, and it was weirdly motivating.
After he was checked over, and teased Elle about saving her life, you came crashing into him with an audible oof and a whisper of, “God you smell so good I’m so glad you’re okay don’t ever do that again.” It was probably the adrenaline, the near-death experience high, but instead of gently pushing you away like he’d do with anyone else, he discovers your waist has a wonderful dip that his arms fit perfectly into as he tugs you close.
He’s hugged people before, obviously, but it’s always different with you.
You must think so, too, because when you pull away just enough that you’re still in his arms but can clearly see his face, you take a minuscule intake of breath that Spencer wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t, you know, Spencer.
A strand of Spencer’s hair falls from where it was tucked, falling into his line of sight. Without hesitation you’re pushing it back, fingertips brushing against Spencer’s cheek as you fold the hair back behind his ear. Your eyes meet when there’s no obstruction, electricity crackling in Spencer’s ears when he realises there’s nothing between you, nothing stopping you, and there’s something about the lack of space between you and how he holds you that just makes you ask-
“Would it be weird if I kissed you right now?”
Immediately, Spencer thinks yes. Not because he doesn’t want you to (he couldn’t think of anything better to do, to be honest), or because of where you are (although, knowing the whole team is not far away does make him feel a little funny), it’s because he’s him. Gangly, awkward, with very sweaty hands that feel at home on your body, and you don’t want to kiss that. You can’t want to.
Yet, he shakes his head, and finds himself copying you when you lean in and close your eyes.
It’s short, sweet, and somewhat weird. He thinks he blacks out, loses himself in your lips despite it happening so quickly.
When you pull back, Spencer’s eyes remain closed for a good few seconds before he’s brought back to Earth. And he doesn’t know what to say - pretty people don’t just… kiss him. They certainly don’t ask if they can kiss him, then follow through, and… stare at him like that.
“Has anyone seen Reid? Y/L/N?”
Whatever was supposed to happen after, whether it was good or bad, you’ll never know. Hotch’s footsteps are thundering towards you and, despite your daze, you step away from Spencer just as he spots you.
The second time he believed there was a God, he asked you on a date. And you said yes.
Neither of you mention the kiss. In your defence, he supposes, it happened merely an hour ago – everyone’s rushing to get back to Quantico so no one’s had time to make any kind of small talk, let alone have the talk after a kiss.
Elle gives Spencer a look of confusion when she slides past him, moving into the jet as he hovers in the entryway. He’s obviously waiting for someone, passing out tight lipped smiles to the team when they all squeeze past. Spencer isn’t a big guy, but it’s bizarre for him to be standing there like that, swaying like the palm tree he is – he’s usually setting up for yet another game of chess with Gideon at this moment.
Then you shuffle on, faltering when you catch him waiting for you but smile nonetheless. He straightens, hands remaining in his pockets when his mouth opens to speak. You interrupt him (before he can make a fool of himself, thank God).
“Wanna sit together?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. He nods and follows you like the lost puppy he is.
The second you invite him to sit next to you instead of opposite he wants to pull you tight into his side, but that seems like too much. He’s not Derek, for Heaven’s sake, and you’re not Garcia – all you’ve done is kiss once and really, when he thinks about it, you were probably on an adrenaline high too, so it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. It happens, Spencer’s read about it, and although it would break his heart that it meant nothing, it’s likely. Oh, it’s so likely.
Spencer might be the first one on the team to cry on the BAU jet.
Halfway home, the team is lost in their own pass-times to notice when you bookmark your page and place your book on the table.
“Spence,” You whisper, testing if he’s awake.
He is. He hasn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep, no matter how hard he tries. “Yeah?”
“I’m sorry if what I did earlier- you know-“ You gesture vaguely in the air, completely oblivious to the fact Spencer is very familiar with what happened earlier because he can’t stop replaying it, “-If that made you uncomfortable. Or if I forced you, or-“
“Would it be weird if I asked you on a date when we land?”
The grin you send him shoots straight to his heart, eyes crinkling with laughter at his echo of the words you used earlier. If you notice you don’t mention it, but his hands can’t stop fidgeting under the table, slick with sweat.
“It’d only be weird if you don’t kiss me after.” You say.
His brows furrow, a small incredulous laugh leaving him. “What? Why?”
“We’ve already had our first kiss, so it’s out of the way.”
“Are you saying… You want to kiss me again?”
You thought that was obvious from when you kissed him earlier, but you’re happy to remind him. “Yes. I would like that very much.”
“Okay,” He says, bashfully, with a lick of his lips. “I can- I can arrange that.”
This time, when you turn back to your book, your head finds his shoulder and Spencer thinks his it has turned to gold, blessed by being touched by you. Would it be too much if, the second you get back to base, he writes about this moment in great detail to his mother?
+++
All of that leads to now, where The Date is in three days.
He plans to take you to his favourite book café, a place you’ve always wanted to go but never had the chance to, and he was so, so excited. Any time he gets to spend with you is cherished and means more to him than it does to you, because to him it’s an excuse for you to give him more reasons to fall in love with you. And he does - fall in love - every single day.
Was is the important word here. He’s not excited anymore.
It’s terrifying how quick the tides can change.
Just this morning, he was glancing with child-like excitement at the outfit he’s already chosen for the date. You brought him some coffee, whispering an endearing, “Three days!” as you did, and, according to Derek, Spencer’s love eyes (what the hell does that mean) were so big even Derek fell in love with you for a second.
Now, Spencer’s not territorial, but that comment stuck with him. Maybe that’s why he’s here now.
He has to cancel the date.
It pains him – God, does it pain him – but he has to. He can’t go on that date with you. He can’t… put you through that. Make you spend time with him and have to let him down gently, slowly, like you’re talking down a temper tantrum. He can’t then pretend everything’s okay in front of the team. He won’t be able to pretend, because he’s liked you for months.
He won’t force you to go on that date with him. You deserve better than that, and better than him.
That’s what it comes down to: you deserve better than him.
It started that morning with Derek, as previously mentioned. Then the team was whisked away on a case, and the detectives were all over you. JJ, too, but they were too intimidated by Elle and Morgan, who just laughed at their attempts to impress you. It was borderline inappropriate, but you were too concerned with the victims and finding a serial killer to pay some officers and detectives you’ll never see again any attention.
Spencer noticed, though. And he couldn’t concentrate.
The detectives are dressed too well – by that, he means the suits and the Rolex watches are way above their paygrade – and they keep emphasising how good looking you and JJ are and how lucky the BAU is to have such dolls working on the team. What is this, the 40s? Who calls anyone doll anymore? And, yes, the team is very lucky to have you and JJ, but because you’re both great minds and wildly intelligent people that, yes, are also very gorgeous, but your looks aren’t all you have to offer, thank you very much.
There’s a detective approaching you, again, as you stand by the water cooler.
Spencer frantically looks around, trying to find a member of the team. “Morgan!” He weakly calls, because Spencer won’t scare him off. Maybe Morgan can chase them away like they’re stray cats, with his big muscles and scary eyebrows. Or Elle, who earlier merely lifted an eyebrow and the officers scattered like cockroaches.
All he catches of the conversation between you and the model/detective at the cooler is, “I appreciate it, but no thank you,” and that’s all he needs to hear.
He should’ve known someone would eventually make a move. You’ve said no, clearly, and Spencer doesn’t understand why. I mean, yes, he knows why – you have a prior engagement – but the detective… As much as he’s kind of a dick, he complements you better than Spencer does. Physically.
And there starts the spiral.
There must be something in the water, because every officer and detective and everyone in between is in peak physical condition with dashing looks to boot. They’re all straight out of a magazine, as if the popular kids from Spencer’s high school graduated and followed him here to remind him he is incredibly unworthy of you.
Spencer is lanky, unlike the broad men and curvaceous women here, and slicks his hair to the side rather than up like the others. He wears sweater vests, not blazers, and he’s so skinny that his trousers always look like hand-me-downs – nothing is fitted, like so many outfits are here.
They’re all everything Spencer is not. And Spencer is realising, quite quickly, that they’re the better ones – and that’s what you deserve. Better. The best.
It gets worse when they deliver the profile.
He finds his spot next to you, gives you a tight lipped smile, then looks at the outfits of his team compared to his own. Both Hotch and Morgan wear dark suits, well-proportioned and sophisticated in a way that Spencer is sure isn’t even in his calibre. Elle wears a deep green t-shirt, tucked into her tight black pants, and looks wonderfully intimidating with her double gun holster wrapped around her shoulders.
And you. You.
You wear a white shirt tucked into nicely tailored trousers, hair effortlessly styled with a pen tucked behind your ear. You all look like FBI agents. Intimidating. Prepared. Put-together.
Spencer… looks like he’s still in high school. He threatens no one, intimidates no one, and definitely does not make anyone feel inferior with his masculinity. He’s not an alpha male, is what he’s trying to say, and for each person he encounters in this wretched police department he feels himself shrinking.
So when they give the profile, he tries to say as little as possible. Tries to attract as little attention as possible, so when Hotch says his usual, “Thank you.” He can slip away unnoticed and hide from the superior beings.
It works, given everyone is too busy trying to save lives. Except you notice, and Spencer has to pretend he’s okay when you find him at the evidence board and tell him you’re excited for the date. He wants to believe you, truly does, but no matter how hard he digs into his brain to find a part of him that can fathom you see him as a better option than literally anyone else, it doesn’t exist.
You don’t seem to notice. He tells himself he’s glad, but there’s no denying the disappointment.
+++
Hotch calls it a night when the clock nears midnight. He says the team should get as much rest as possible and come in with fresh eyes tomorrow – despite this, the team knows most if not all of them will get little to no sleep, given that they’ll all be going over everything they’ve got so far in their hotel rooms.
You slink up to Spencer, a pep in your step even though you’re running on pure caffeine and nothing else. It’s then Spencer realises he has to do it now, because if he does it in the police department then he’ll be called unprofessional, but if he waits any longer than that he’ll be cutting too close and that’s a bad look.
“Y/N,” He says, coming to a stop before the elevators, allowing the rest of the team to head up. “I need to say something.”
You nod with a smile, covering a cute yawn when he takes a couple seconds to gather his thoughts.
You’re not sure what he’s gonna say, but you assume it’ll be to do with the date. Maybe a change of time, or a change of venue – he did mention the library café can get super busy on weekends – or, worst case scenario, the date will have to be postponed for whatever reason. And none are particularly bad, because you’re excited and just want to be with Spencer – it doesn’t matter if it’s not when he originally planned or where he originally planned.
But Spencer has always unwittingly been full of surprises.
“We can’t go on that date.”
Instantly you ask, “Why not?”
“Well-“ He seems caught off guard, like he wasn’t expecting you to question the sudden change of heart, “It’s complicated-“
“I’ve got time.”
“We should go to sleep-“
“Is it your mother?”
“No. No, it’s not.” Of course you look empathetic when you consider his mother might need him – a stab to the start. Add in the flicker of concern in your eyes – two stabs to the heart. “It’s not her. It’s- it’s nothing. Just, can we cancel?”
“And reschedule?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
The disappointment is clear on your face and makes Spencer feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to take it back. You’re not disappointed that you’re missing out on dating him, you’re frustrated that you’ve been building up to having plans on the weekend and they’ve suddenly been cancelled without reason. By Spencer, of all people. In a couple months’ time you’ll thank him, when you’re dating some bodybuilder who can grow a mean beard. You’ll thank him for not making you go on that date with him and forcing you to tell him you’re just not my type, Spence, and making everything awkward.
He can’t look at you. Maybe that’s why he misses the genuine sadness, the sudden glassiness of your eyes that humiliates you enough to make you angry. His words have ignited a fire in your chest that burns through your body like you’re made of gasoline, and you wish you could turn your thoughts off so you don’t start questioning how long he’s been wanting to reject you, if he even wanted to date you in the first place, how embarrassing it is to have been so openly eager when, apparently, he was very much not.
“I’m sorry.” He says, like it’ll do anything. He still can’t look at you and he feels like a coward.
“Yeah.” You sniffle.
He decides to take the stairs. You head for the bar, just for one drink.
+++
The following day, when an officer tries to talk to you, you blatantly ignore him. You tell him that unless it’s work-related, you’re really not interested, and word spreads quick that your pleasantries have died out and you’re not in the mood to tolerate creepy compliments.
There’s a permanent frown on your face that haunts Spencer the entire day. He knows exactly what’s going on – it’s his fault, after all – and he finds himself simultaneously avoiding you whilst witnessing your downcast mood.
Morgan starts investigating not long after you barely react to his terrible joke. He makes them for you, because you either choke on laughter or throw your pen at him, but this time it was like you weren’t even in the room. When Morgan poked you and asked if you heard him, your lacklustre reply was, “Hm? Yeah, good one.”
Morgan perches on the desk Spencer’s using. “You got any idea what’s going on with Y/N?”
“They’re mad at me.”
“You’re the reason they’re like this?”
Spencer doesn’t physically react, just says, as casually as possible, “Unless another person asked them on a date then cancelled without reason, then yes. It’s my fault.”
There’s no point in lying. Especially to Derek. Spencer doesn’t know how you’ll go about explaining your sudden poor mood, if you’ll curse his very existence or lie about it, but Spencer’s never been a good liar and the sooner everyone knows it’s his fault and he sucks, the better.
Morgan leans forward, attempting to make eye contact with the doctor who very much does not want to. “There’s a story there.”
“Obviously.”
“…You wanna go ahead and explain it?”
“Not really.”
“Alright,” Derek shrugs, “You stir in your sadness and continue being a sourpuss, I’ll go check up on Y/N and find out what really happened.”
Derek’s barely moved off the table when Spencer stops him, voice small like a child, “Wait, Morgan, I-“
You walk past then, too focused on a suspect list faxed in by Garcia to pay attention to anyone else. Spencer’s eyes follow you the whole time, and the look in Spencer’s twinkling eyes make Morgan slump back onto the table in realisation.
“Why’d you cancel, Reid?”
“I had to.”
“You had other plans?”
Spencer chews his bottom lip. “No. But I… I couldn’t take them on a date.”
Derek waits for him to elaborate.
“Have you seen the kind of guys hitting on them?” Spencer asks, scooting his chair closer so no one can eavesdrop. “They’re all… They’re- they’re like you, Morgan. All cool and put-together and actually look their age, for one, and I’m not that. I could never be that – and that’s what Y/N wants-“
“Have you asked them that?”
“No. But I’m a profiler, in case you forgot, and I think it makes sense that these big-shouldered, super muscly guys are all over-“
“But you haven’t actually asked them what they want.”
“No.” Spencer sighs, leaning back in his chair.
“That’s your first, and most vital, mistake, my man.”
Spencer purses his lips, catching you watching him over Derek’s shoulder. You immediately look away, shooting off to the evidence room as an escape, and Spencer’s cheeks burn with guilt and embarrassment.
He can’t believe he thought he had a chance with you.
“I feel like this should be obvious, Genius, but Y/N said yes to a date with you, then turned down every offer that came from someone that wasn’t you-“
“That’s because they already made plans with me and they’d feel terrible if they had to cancel for another, better offer. I made it easier for them.”
Derek gives him such an incredulous look Spencer wonders if he should burn his PhDs. “Are you serious?”
The crestfallen expression on Spencer’s face is enough of an answer.
“Come with me.”
“What?”
“C’mon,” Derek tugs Spencer up from his chair. “I need to show your dumb ass something.”
All that’s missing is classic spy music when Derek and Spencer sneak into the conference room the BAU is using. Only Hotch is in there, scribbling something down, barely glancing up when the two agents creep in like they’re on a mission.
Spencer doesn’t say anything until Derek reaches for your bag. “Whoa- Morgan-“
“Relax.”
Spencer just stares, brows halfway down his face, and watches silently.
“That’s they’re journal, Morgan, you can’t just read it-“
“It’s not, pretty boy.”
Hotch watches the interaction, mildly confused, then nods to himself when he realises what Morgan’s holding.
Morgan splays the journal on the table in front of them, flipping through pages with precision like it’s his notebook and not yours. When he lands on his desired page, it’s slid towards Spencer.
He reads it.
The Doctor Spencer Reid cheat sheet. (Because I do not have an eidetic memory and feel bad whenever I forget something he tells me)
He’s too stumped by the words cheat sheet to look further, so Derek does it for him, flipping to the next page where very basic information about Spencer sits – full name, date of birth, hometown. As he looks to the page next to it, he realises it’s full of his favourite things – favourite coffee, favourite candy (which has multiple answers, by the way), even favourite pair of socks. Like a switch has been flipped, Spencer comes to life, frantically switching between pages that are overflowing with facts and tidbits about him, from his favourite monologue from his favourite film to his favourite shelf in his apartment. All things he’s told you either in passing or when he’s confided in you at random times, you’ve taken note. You’ve listened, and for some reason you’ve written it all down so you’d never forget.
“What…What is this?”
“It’s everything there is to know about you, Reid.” Derek watches as Spencer slips through the rest of the book, filled with random to-do lists and phone numbers of various people, looking for the same information about the rest of the team. “There’s only one for you, you know. And if you ask me it’s a little creepy, but it’s saved our asses when it’s come to buying gifts for you a good few times.” He slaps a hand on his friend’s shoulder, smirking at how Spencer’s awe-filled eyes never leave the pages before him. “They care about you a lot, Reid. More than you think. So…”
“I need to talk to them.”
“Yes, idiot, you do.”
+++
That night, Elle and Derek invite you to join them for some drinks at the bar, promising they won’t let it escalate to arm wrestling and childish bets like they always do. Even though they make a compelling argument, add on that you’re stressed and upset and really, really want to forget emotions exist more than anything else, you’re half tempted to accept and lose yourself in some cocktails.
Then you spot Spencer talking in hushed tones with Gideon and everything comes flooding back. So you tell Elle to have a drink for you, please don’t make a ruckus when she gets back to your shared room, and bid them adieu.
In your room, you distract yourself by renting one of your favourite movies. It’s overpriced, and a part of you wants to look over the case files again, but being sad and burnt out won’t lead to any good outcomes.
It’s a futile attempt at switching your brain off so you don’t have to think about how excited you were for the date. You’ve had twenty-four hours to get over it, but every time you see him you’re thrown back into the bitterness you feel – bitter that you fooled yourself into thinking it’d work out, bitter that your hopes were so high, bitter that you let your feelings for Spencer become such a big part of your life.
You’re lying on your scratchy hotel bed, thinking about Spencer and how he’s going to be complaining to Morgan about said scratchy beds, when there’s a knock at your door.
Naturally, you assume its Elle. She reminds you so much of your older sister who used to slide you some money so you’d stay up late into the night and quietly let her back into the house after she’s sneaked off to go to a party – except Elle is probably swaying outside your hotel room after losing her keycard rather than swaying on your doorstep.
So when you open the door, teasing quip ready, you legitimately choke when you’re faced with a fidgety Spencer Reid.
He tries to ignore how the way your face drops when you realise it’s him feels like a punch to the gut.
“Hey-“
“No.”
“Oh.”
“You-what-“ He’s never seen you so flustered. “Are you lost?”
Just in case, Spencer leans back to check the number beside your door is in fact 208. It is, and he turns back to you, “Please don’t slam the door in my face.”
It slips out. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise your pretty face.”
You’re humiliated that he has this effect on you, the ability to obliterate all your filters and common sense just by existing. But the look on his face alleviates the want to jump out of the window – his mouth opens, twitching into the smallest, most bashful smile before it falls and morphs back into disbelief. You just… You just called his face pretty, a word that makes some feel emasculated but no, never with you. You compliment people and mean it, which makes Spencer’s guilt worsen and the urge to tell you he loves you with his entire heart more intense.
You speak at the same time.
“Why are you-“
“I wanted to-“
You roll your lips together, holding back a smile, and nod for him to go on. He does the same, so you shake your head with a, “I was just asking why you’re here.”
He holds up a finger, signalling one moment, and opens his satchel to start rummaging in it. “I know this is a complete invasion of privacy, and theft, really, but Morgan showed me it and I just- Why do you have this?”
You gasp.
In his hand is the journal you’ve been working on since a month into your employment at the BAU. The gifted notebook was initially used to jot down any bits of advice your superiors gave you (on your first day, Elle gave you a list she lovingly titled “If I wasn’t an FBI agent I’d sock these people in the mouths”) but, before you knew it, it had an entirely different purpose.
It started when you witnessed Derek stumble when asked Spencer’s favourite colour, to which he said no one remembers stuff like that! Aptly followed by Spencer reeling off everyone’s preferred colours (even delving into second favourites and favoured colour schemes) and you realised then that… Spencer’s whole life, he’s remembered so much about the people around him and very rarely have they returned the favour. So, in an attempt to build friendship and because you had the fattest crush on him already, you started the Spencer Reid cheat sheet.
You didn’t think he’d ever see it, even if it’s always used by the team on various occasions. It was the team’s little secret, bar Spencer, that assisted in nearly every decision made on Spencer’s behalf – what to order from restaurants, drinks, birthday and holiday gifts, how to comfort him when he’s stressed or upset.
The responses vary. Derek thinks it’s weird, as did Elle at first, but JJ and Garcia insist its sweet and, really, no matter what they think they’ve all come running to you when time has called for it.
“How… Did you steal it?”
“Yes,” He tells you, guiltily, “I had to read it – it’s incredibly accurate, by the way.”
You don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.
“So… Why?”
“I don’t know,” You say, a bold-faced lie and Spencer can tell, but he lets you continue, “You remember everything about everyone else, so I wanted to… do the same for you, I guess.”
“I have an eidetic memory.”
You airily laugh – does he think you forgot that? “I know that. Doesn’t it get tiring recalling all this information about your friends and not having it reciprocated?”
He clicks his tongue at that, eyes falling back to the notebook in his hands that he fiddles with while he thinks. It is tiring, he supposes, but that’s how it’s always been. He remembers everything, the people around him just… don’t. He realised at a young age that he’ll often have to remind himself that friendship isn’t measured by what they remember, but by other ways – like this. You, with your unassuming journal that is full of things Spencer assumed no one would ever care to remember.
You, with your tensed jaw and fluttering eyes because you’re embarrassed.
You, who’s done quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him, and it’s been happening for years right under his nose.
You, who he cancelled a date with because he was so sure you were dating him out of pity, out of obligation after he asked and you felt forced to say yes, but now he realises you care about him just as much as he cares for you.
Touched feels like an understatement.
“Y/N…”
“If you find it weird, I’ll burn it the second we get home. Pretend it never happened, we can… discuss a restraining order if we must-“
“Y/N.”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Oh.”
He smiles at you, hands tight on the book in his hands, smiles so big that his eyes crinkle and his teeth show and he looks gorgeous. It tugs directly on your heart strings and just for a second you forget that he cancelled your date, forget that you’ve been pining for years, and bask in the warmth that radiates from him.
“This is… Insane, really.” He laughs, “But also so… so cool. I don’t deserve this, at all, and to think we could’ve gone on a date but I chickened out-“
“What?”
He shrugs with faux-nonchalance. “The-um- the reason I took back the date was because I think you deserve so much better than me. In a, you deserve someone like all the police officers down at the PD, kind of way. I don’t want a pity date-“
You scoff, then with an indignant, “Come in here,” You grab Spencer’s satchel and tug him into your hotel room, closing the door with a forceful push as he turns to face you.
With your hands on your hips, you stare him down with furrowed brows and a look that screams really? “Is that really what you think, Spence? It was a pity date?”
“Well, yeah,” He tells you. The conviction in his voice is so strong that, if you weren’t this riled up, you’d probably tear up at how sure he sounds.
You give another scoff. “Not only am I offended you think I’d do that to anyone, but I’m also mad that you don’t see how I look at you! Spencer, I’ve been into you since I started working here-“ His mouth falls open. You’re exasperated. “-and the notes were a way to get to know you, yes, but they were also because I couldn’t stop watching you and had to play it off like I was doing it for a reason. You’re my favourite, Spencer.”
His heart aches a little, full of such a tenderness he’s never quite felt before. He feels loved, and so, so touched that someone would put so much effort into getting to know him and… years. Literal years you’ve liked him, and he’s been blind to it.
“I like you a lot.” You’re breathless after your little speech, “And if you still don’t want that date, that’s okay. But I like you, Spence, I really like you.”
Your gaze never wavers. Spencer wants to scoop you up and place kisses all over. For the first time in a while, he feels worthy. Like what you’re saying isn’t being said for the sake of it, because you’re his friend and you have to support him, but because it’s what you genuinely think and feel and Spencer might be in love.
He swallows deeply before speaking.
“I really like you, too, Y/N. And I’m-I’m sorry that I cancelled the date and- I should’ve talked to you, maybe, before doing it, but… We’re here now, right?”
“You want to have a date right now?”
Thumbing through the book, he says, “Actually, there’s some blanks in here I’d like to fill, if you’re not busy…”
You’re very clearly on board with the suggestion, basically skipping to your bed, plopping down and patting the space beside you with a grin. “I’m not busy at all, Doctor Reid. Tell me everything I don’t already know.”
So he does, thigh pressed against yours and blush on his cheeks when you let your head fall onto his shoulder.
The night is spent giggling over the most random information you’ve gathered, correcting only one mistake (his favourite socks change every week, not your fault), and adding onto the already plentiful fact file.
And the date that weekend happens, ending in a sweet kiss on your doorstep that leaves you both with shy smiles and thundering hearts.
It’s the first date of many, followed by the creation of a new journal full of all there is to know about your and Spencer’s relationship.
+++
tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @chiffonchronicles @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @jasongideonapologist @gublertoon @averyhotchner
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barnesandco · 3 years
Text
Little Hands (V)
Series Masterlist
Bucky treats you to a day out. 
This is an entry for @star-spangled-bingo​ 2021. Word count: 1625. Square filled: “Lucky (Clint’s dog)”
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Police. Sad child.
A/N: This is so late and I am so sorry. Let me know what you think! And massive thank you’s to anyone who is still reading this disaster.
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Morning brings a new perspective, a new ease in the way Bucky moves around Ana. He pretends he doesn’t know that you witnessed the way they bonded last night, and for that benefit you don’t bring it up. It’s discussed and laid to rest with the intelligent smile you give him, one that he lets dissolve through his sternum and curl around his heart. Tendrils of soft hope, wisps of quiet connection, strengthening the friendship you’ve established and glinting with promise of something more.
Something more might have to wait, but Bucky thinks you’ve made it clear that it is there, on the horizon, awaiting you both. A future, one that, on his part, also involves the little soul that sits on top of the kitchen island, swinging her legs into the cabinets. Children are early risers, and so are superheroes, but today, on this cool morning, Anastasia has them beat.
So, it’s just the three of you. Bucky, and Anastasia, and you. You’re cutting up fruit and washing berries for the pancakes he’s making while you also remotely monitor the tea. A minty brew, warm, topped with honey and lemon, sharp enough to wake lingering drowsiness while still soothing, syrup-soft. You know your stuff, and Bucky’s glad to have a change of pace after a fast week of too much too strong too sweet coffee, even if he chooses to have it that way.
This particular change of pace would give him whiplash if not for the fact that he got a good night’s sleep, Anastasia’s nightmares notwithstanding. It has strengthened his resolve to find her a child psychologist, somebody who can help her better than he can, once this ordeal with Tobias Zola is over and they are all safe.
He needs to keep her safe. It was her mother’s – no, her final caretaker’s – last wish and request, and now that they are tied by blood, it has become his. She really looks so much like him. Her hair hasn’t developed the same brown yet, it’s still a shade lighter, with hints of golden for the lesser age, the summer sun bleaching that has yet to pass. It’s curly like his never was, likely an affectation of whatever female contribution is in her genetics.
Her genetics. Bucky shakes his head at the frying pan. He doesn’t want to sound like one of the scientists that put her into this situation, into this cruel, cruel world.
A clearing of your throat breaks him out of the thought bubble, and he flips the last pancake out of the pan and onto a plate, much to Anastasia’s delight. The ensuing giggle is the closest thing he’s heard to laughter from the kid. That’s not good. Children need laughter. He makes himself, and Ana, a silent promise to be more uplifting.
“Do you think we could leave the Compound, today?” You ask, out of nowhere, as you place the assorted fruit on the table. Ana, whose hands is halfway to the strawberries, stops as she waits on Bucky’s answer. Clearly, this is something she wants, too. Who is he to deny them?
“Sure. Fury might want us to take some security measures, but we should be fine.”
-----
That’s how they wind up at an ice cream parlor by 10 am, after the security has been cleared with Fury and Sam, and the only addition to their little team is Lucky, a dog apparently shared by Clint and his protégé in the city, one Kate Bishop. They’ve been told that while not a trained security dog, Lucky has sensors that will let Kate know if they’re in danger, and she can provide and send further backup. The rest of the Avengers are busy with tracking down leads to Zola.
Bucky knows he can protect you and Ana just fine, should need be, and isn’t worried about the fact that the only bodyguard they’ve been provided with is canine. Ana has bonded with the dog and walks with one hand in the fur by its shoulder and the other in his own hand, her eyes flitting between the sights of the city and her companions. Her caretakers. Her guardians.
The ice cream place is a little business that another one of Steve’s children is working at on weekends. is a head shorter than Bucky, and terrifies the living wits out of him. She’s one hell of a people watcher, she has a sweet tooth and a thing for Jane Austen, and the world is lucky her foremost interest is in dessert making and not something far more nefarious, like say, espionage.
She greets Bucky at the door with a hug and shakes both your and Ana’s hands, and lets you all sit outside so you can be with Lucky. The rusty fall sun makes Lucky’s fur shine like spun gold and light Ana up in hues of ruby and topaz, and you turn your face to the light and sigh.
For a moment, the world is quiet. For a moment, the scent of sugar crystallizes on his face like the sensation of rightness does. And when it ends, it’s not with a crash landing. It’s a gentle reorientation. You open your eyes, look at him with immeasurable affection. Ana pets Lucky. Vivien says, “Let me know when you’re ready to order, Uncle Bucky,” and puts a menu on the table.
You decide on a mango ice cream shake, Bucky wants an Oreo sundae, and Ana, of course, demands the largest dish on the menu, the one whose picture is emblazoned across a good quarter of the laminated card. A massive ice cream and berry split.
When your order arrives, Anastasia laughs for the second time. Bucky thinks he should say something, make a joke, conversation, but in this moment, nothing else could feel so forced. He’s a man of few words and many services. That’s how he chooses to love, and Ana can see that. You can see that.
It's why you nod affirmingly when he meets your eyes over Ana’s mountain of ice cream. You carry entire sentences in your glances, words of silent confidence, the fuel he is feeding on right now.
-----
Ana is happy. The world, if for a few hours, is right. He knows it cannot last, even now, walking back to the car after a morning and afternoon of joy, arms laden down with bags of new things, treats he never had but can now provide. Despite the resignation that has started to weigh on him, he reminds himself: his daughter has a home. She will be safe, and he will take care of her, no matter what it takes.
-----
The car ride back is louder than he anticipated. You give the music a go, playing something by Raveena, a sweet voice he likes but that Ana talks over, making quite the chaotic symphony that he likes even more. Lucky contributes the occasional bright bark that makes Ana laugh, pausing her incessant chatter, if momentarily.
Mostly, she talks about what she saw, the things she has now started to process, asks questions about the stores she did not previously have the luxury to, presumably because her previous guardian didn’t have the means, and besides, they were on the run.
He’s grateful to her. Irene. Before he was confused but now it is obvious: Ana is his daughter, and he wants her as much as any other parent does their child, even if the way she was thrown into her life was unconventional, to say the least.
Looking at her in the rearview mirror as she twists in her seat to reach Lucky in the back, he knows he will move heaven and earth to remove the threats in her path. It makes him dangerous. It makes him a father.
“You okay?” You ask, following his gaze, and Bucky smiles, eyes returning to the road.
“Never better.”
Your hand finds his where it takes a break from the steering wheel to rest on his knee. He twists your joined hands until he can hold yours. Squeezes it, as if to say, thank you. As if to say, we’ll all be okay.
-----
Turns out, he’s wrong, and this is why you should never rely on routines. Promises are made to be broken. When they get back, the NYPD is waiting, and not to update them on the case. He sees the waiting handcuffs, and he knows you do, too.
You make the right move, trying to usher Ana out of the room with some excuse or other, but it’s too late. Her instincts have latched onto the fact that something is very, very wrong.
The DA says, “James Buchanan Barnes, you’re under arrest as a suspect in the murder of Irene Orlov,” and Ana screams, and screams, and screams.
Bucky tries not to close his eyes, knows it’s too late to put his hands over his ears as cuffs close around his wrists. Besides, he needs to show that he understands the charges, and yes, they’re reading him his Miranda rights, and yes, he understands.
He’s innocent. And his team will prove it. But it’s no use arguing with these people, so he goes silently, even as he hears Sam, Steve and Nat going at it with the police chief in the dull background of Ana’s roar. It’s no use. The police wouldn’t be here without reason, and they’ll let him go when his team finds them reason to.
Everything is going to be okay, he tells himself. It has to. Because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if it isn’t.
Bucky sees you, tear-sodden and holding onto a distraught Ana, in the reflection of the glass doors before they slide open.
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graniairish · 3 years
Text
Walking on Eggshells – Part 2
Hello my dears. I just couldn't resist and had to write a second part. (maybe there will also be a part 3)
Pairing: Daryl x female! Reader
Words: 5159
Warnings: language, sexual content, NSFW, 18+ (my first attempt to write smut in English - hope it didn't get too bad)
Part one
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"Um ... what ..."
You stood in the door of your room, confused. Hershel had finally released you into "home care" after almost a week of continuous surveillance in the infirmary. In your opinion, the older man was exaggerating a little. You were fine, you had no dizziness, and the headache was gone. But that did not stop Hershel from telling you to take it easy anyway.
Your beloved work in the vegetable fields had to wait for the time being.
Somewhat reluctantly, you had agreed to everything, only to finally be able to go back to your own four walls. You wanted to sleep in your own bed again, even if it was just a simple Prison bed in the former director's office. But still, it was your home.
But you did not expect what you found there now.
As if rooted to the ground, you stood in the middle of the room and looked around with big eyes in disbelief.
Your room, your little private realm, should actually be here. But the room in front of you was no longer your room. Your things were still there, but they were not the only ones that filled the shelves on the walls.
The most noticeable change, however, was your bed. It was still in the far corner of the room, but it looked absolutely strange. Because right next to it there was now a second, and the way the sheet was stretched over it made it look like a double bed.
"I thought Hershel wouldn't release ya until tonight," you heard Daryl's deep voice behind you.
Still slightly confused, you turned to the archer. He stood uncertain in the doorway, Crossbow slung over his shoulder, hands clasped on the strap. His blue eyes were fixed on you as he chewed the inside of his cheek - his nervous tic.
And how this man was nervous right now, and it was not just his ears that betrayed him - which had just turned deep red.
Daryl did not expect to find you here now. He actually wanted to talk to you about it first and not just put you in front of a fait accompli. Though, somehow, he would have done it one way or another.
He was afraid he had done something wrong, crossed a line, or something like that.
"I couldn't take it there any longer."
Only now did you notice that his hair was wet and still dripping. Could it be that he had showered?
Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod.
“I know we didn't talk about it,” he began uncertainly, “but Hershel said it would be better if someone took care of ya. And since there is no chance that ya will move back into the cell block, I thought that would be a good solution."
“That's right,” you had to smile, “I'm not going back there so quickly anymore. I like my privacy."
"Well, if it bothers you ... that I ... then ..."
"No no, I don't mind" you might answer a little too quickly, "I ... I was just ... surprised."
The man across from you felt instantly relieved. You, the woman he loved, wanted to live with him. He could hardly believe his luck.
Daryl took off his Crossbow and leaned it against the wall by the door before walking slowly towards you, his eyes full of love.
“Y/N/N we wasted so much time. I don't want to waste another minute. We don't know how much time we have left."
Daryl lovingly cupped your chin with two fingers while he gently touched your lips with his.
You could not help but melt into his touch. That you could do this now was still a miracle to you, and you would enjoy every single second of it to the full.
"But I sleep on the right side," you finally said with mischief in your eyes when your lips had separated.
"Forget it", Daryl snorted and went to the bed, "I'm sleepin’ between the door and ya."
You rolled your eyes with a smile. Always the protector.
"Don't think I didn't see that."
--------------------------------------
A few weeks had passed since the incident during your run. You are now working side by side with Rick in the vegetable fields again. The plants were blooming and developing fantastically - and they would be very good yielding.
After a long shower to wash dirt and sweat from your body, you made your way to the inner courtyard of the prison, which was used as a canteen during the warmer months of the year. Dinner had just started, and so all residents, regardless of whether they were old or new, huddled together to have their meal together.
When Daryl returned from his shift at the Guard Tower, he spotted you chatting with Carol who was just distributing the food. He liked how carefree you looked at that moment.
Without thinking about it, he walked over to you and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek before you had the chance to notice him.
"Yuck, don't do that," you giggled, "you're all sweaty."
"And hungry," he said with a grin.
Carol shook her head with a smile before filling two bowls and holding them out to you.
"Here take these, you lovebirds."
Taking the bowls Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod and went with you to the table where Glenn and Maggie were already sitting.
You had not noticed how your loving and familiar way of dealing with each other had been uncomfortable for some - or at least for one.
Michelle was sitting at a table with several other Woodbury residents and had been watching you with narrowed eyes. Green with envy, she got up at some point and went back to the cell block where she lived.
But Carol had noticed, and she would move heaven and earth to keep this woman from disrupting your relationship.
Little by little, Rick and the other members of your sworn family joined you to enjoy the meal together and to end the day.
"We should slowly start bringing our supplies up to date," Rick skillfully changed the subject.
That was his less than subtle way of reducing the conversation to necessities.
"Or in other words, time for a run," Daryl said in a nutshell.
“Tightly sealable preserving jars would be important. It will soon be harvest time and we have to preserve the fruit and vegetables. Thank God we have a lot more than we need right now."
That was the first thing that came to your mind. After all, it was important to have vitamins in winter too. Even if cooked fruit and vegetables were nowhere near as tasty as fresh ones. But in those times, you were grateful for everything. And in winter, fruit and vegetables were actually a luxury.
“We should also think about how to heat the buildings. The winter could last longer than we'd like”, Daryl expressed his concerns.
"If we had animals, pigs or goats, maybe even sheep, we would be better supplied with meat."
Hershel had always been a farmer, and you could only agree with the man with a smile.
"Or chickens," said Maggie with a dreamy look, "once again a real roast chicken, that would be something nice."
"Or turkey," you added.
"I just think you can't find something like that on the next street corner," said Glenn, who now leaned over the map that Rick had spread out in the middle of the table.
"Well, the weekly cattle market will probably be canceled."
Daryl's cynical response made you roll your eyes.
"If ya keep doin’ this, these things will eventually get stuck," he said in your direction with a raised index finger.
"That's what my grandmother always meant," you said with a shrug, "and nothing has happened so far."
“You both sound like an old married couple. Really disgusting”, Carl shook himself.
You and Daryl looked at each other questioningly for a moment before you slapped the boy lightly on the back of the head at the same time - he on the right and you on the left.
For about five seconds there was absolute silence at the table, until everyone started laughing uproariously as if on command - except for Carl, who was rubbing his head tightly.
“What that would prove,” Rick grinned as he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, “but seriously now. Does anyone have any ideas?"
“I know there was a farm supply center in the south. From seeds to packaging material to combine harvesters, everything was there. The only question is whether that still stands."
Hershel leaned over the map and pointed to an area southeast of the Prison.
“That's a good hundred miles, and only if you drive on the main roads. It will be a run for several days on back roads."
Your stomach cramped painfully at Glenn's words. You knew that Daryl would go on the run. Unfortunately, since the incident, it had become very clear to you that there was no assurance that someone would come back from a run. And the thought that something might happen to Daryl made you uneasy.
“While we're there, we might as well stop by this huge warehouse complex 30 miles to the east. I think there are still some useful things there. "
Glenn glanced at the place on the map Maggie was pointing with her finger.
"Wasn't that an Amazon warehouse?"
"Yea, why are you asking?"
"Well, I think that this time it won’t work with overnight express."
At Glenn's stupid saying you had to smile, like everyone else. Though yours was more of a bitter smile. This run would certainly not be overnight.
----------------------------------------
"Everythin’ okay? Ya are never that quiet."
It was getting late. The moon was shining through the windows of your shared room and you could hear the crickets outside. You were snuggled close to Daryl, your head on his shoulder, your legs intertwined. You stared in silence into the darkness of your room, which was only faintly illuminated by the moonlight.
Daryl gently stroked your back. Usually there was something incredibly calming about it, and it never took you long to fall asleep relaxed - but not today. The worries about what could go wrong with the run did not let you calm down that night.
In a few hours he would be gone with Maggie and Glenn, as well as a few others. The fear of losing him paralyzes your thoughts.
"Ya don’t sleep. I know that. I can hear ya thinkin’."
You did not answer, just took a deep breath - in and out again. What should you say?
> I'm afraid something will happen to you <
> I'm scared of losing you <
> Please don't go <
There was nothing to be said, just that nagging feeling was there. This fear that the man by your side could suddenly be snatched away from you.
Daryl put his arm around you and hugged you tight as he kissed the top of your head and let his lips linger there for a moment.
"We're a well-coordinated team," he finally began as he leaned his head against yours, "and it's not the first time we've done such a big tour."
It almost seemed as if Daryl had read your mind, yet all his confidence could not take away your worries.
"I promise I'll come back to ya."
"You can't promise that Daryl."
The archer released his hug and shifted his weight so that you were eventually half under him. Leaning on his left arm, he looked down at you, the contours of your face only faintly visible in the light of the darkness.
"I promise I will come back to ya Y/N. We both have our whole lives ahead of us, and I don't intend to miss a second of it."
"Nobody knows ..."
But you did not get any further, Daryl's lips were instantly on yours. At first the kiss was deep and full of longing, but after a while it became more and more hungry. Your fingers ran through his hair and played with them on the back of his neck while your tongues fought for dominance.
As Daryl's hands slowly moved down your ribs, your lips parted for a much-needed breath.
Right at the beginning of your relationship, you discussed that sex would not be an issue for you for the time being. After what had happened to Lori, Daryl simply could not and did not want to take the risk of pregnancy. Condoms were not to be found for a long time. And neither of you wanted to play Russian roulette - like Maggie and Glenn.
But there were other ways of showing how much you loved each other, how much you wanted each other - other ways of having fun together.
Daryl's right hand went down to your ass, which he gripped tightly as he pulled you close.
You moaned softly as you could feel him rubbing his growing erection on your most sensitive spot. Your arms wrapped around his neck as you pulled him closer to you. An approving growl left his mouth as he left hot kisses on your neck, making sure to suck the spot that caused your thighs to tighten around him.
You ran your trembling fingers through his hair, trying to hold onto the feeling of his lips against your skin.
The hand on your ass eventually moved down the back of your thigh - as he pulled it closer - which changed the angle of your pelvis significantly. The lustful moan that came out of your lips as you rubbed against him only made him harder against the layers of clothing.
God how good it felt for him when you took your pleasure into your own hands. But you did not get far, because Daryl's kisses slowly wandered further down. A pleasant shiver ran through you.
You knew exactly what he was up to and the anticipation made you almost impatient.
But he took his time, first freed you from your shirt and then devoted himself to your nipples with relish - first the right, then the left - until they were both hard and upright.
The longing feeling in your most private place became more and more unbearable and in an attempt to get some friction, you tried to rub yourself against his thigh.
Daryl only chuckled.
"Impatient, are we?"
Daryl's kissed down your stomach before leaning back. He was now kneeling between your legs. For a moment he soaked up the picture in front of him, burned it into his memory. How you laid in front of him, lower lip between your teeth, breathing heavily, your legs spread, the unmistakable traces of your arousal on your underwear.
A moan came from your lips as he finally ran his hands up the inside of your thighs. Without touching the place where you needed him most, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties and freed you from this annoying piece of fabric with one flowing movement.
The sight the archer now saw made his cock twitch painfully.
It was almost like torture how slowly he ran his thumb through your folds and collected what already glistened there.
With faltering breath, you watched him as he slowly brought his hand to his mouth and licked his thumb clean with an animalistic growl.
You came almost instantly at the sight.
When he finally sank his middle finger into you, you threw your head back and closed your eyes in delight. He pumped his finger into you a few times before adding a second. He twisted and curled them in just the right way so that with each thrust he perfectly hit the spot inside you that made you squirm under him.
Your moaning grew louder as he closed his lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves and began to suck rhythmically. Your orgasm rolled closer and closer, and the knot in your stomach tightened until it was about to snap.
"Daryl - fuck - I ..."
"then let go - for me."
And that was exactly what you did. You came with his name on your lips, repeated like a prayer, and with each new wave Daryl took whatever you were willing to give him. You tasted like nothing else to him, and he could never get enough of you.
He slowly kissed his way back up to your neck while his fingers were still moving slowly inside you.
Your hands went into his hair and hungrily drawn his lips to yours. Just a moment later your tongues fought for dominance; you could taste yourself on his. Now your hands slowly made their way down to his crotch. He wanted to hold back. But he could not help himself, and grinded into your palm to find the relief he needed so damn bad.
Daryl's hips spasmed, thrusting forward a few times before he was groaning and shaking his head.
"No. Tonight is just about ya."
"But ..."
Before you could go on, his lips were back on yours in a demanding kiss.
" I wanna make ya feel so good today, that ya'll be happy to have a few days off."
And with that statement, his fingers left your hot core, only to re-enter with one more.
Your eyes rolled back when you felt him stretch you.
"Fuck," you hissed as you tried desperately to find hold while Daryl's fingers kept trusting into you.
As he felt the sweet pain of your nails scratching his back, his cock twitched painfully in his shorts.
The thought that you marked him, that you would let him run around with declarations of your love on his body for the next few days, almost drove him mad. He started rubbing his crotch against your thigh for some relief as he fluidly moved in and out of you, getting you closer and closer to your next release.
The knot inside you got tighter and tighter, and you tried desperately to keep it from snaping again. Your legs started to shake involuntarily, and you knew you would not be able to resist much longer. Your breath came in shorter intervals and your moans got higher and higher. It would not last long till you would be swept away by pure bliss.
When the wave finally hit you, it was an overwhelming feeling. Your inner walls clenching and unclenching around his fingers again and again as your orgasm swept you away like a tsunami.
It took you a few moments to come back from your high while Daryl's gentle movements of his fingers let your orgasm slowly fade out.
"Okay", you began with a trembling voice as he slowly left your inner core, "that was something else."
Daryl’s head rested on the crook of your neck as you slowly recovered your breath, but you could still feel him chuckled lightly.
Slowly you stroked his hair and patted his neck. When he shifted his position slightly so that he did not crush you any further, you noticed that his shorts were suspiciously stuck to you.
Apparently, he had enjoyed this whole interaction too.
"I love you," you whispered before leaving a kiss on his sweaty forehead.
"Love ya more."
------------------------------------
You patiently worked your way through the corn plants with the rake. The work was strenuous because the plants were close together - after all, you needed the greatest possible yield in a small area - and the relentless Georgian sun burned down on you.
Your hair stuck to you and the sweat kept dripping from the brim of your straw hat. Your arms ached, and despite the leather gloves you wore, you had blisters on your hands where they were tightly gripping the wooden handle of your gardening tool.
But despite everything, you kept working. You had to work through the soil so that the weeds had less chance to dispute the valuable nutrients from the crops.
This large field that you had laid out in the style of the "three sisters" was your whole pride. Corn, beans and pumpkins, the holy trinity of this bed, were perfectly coordinated. The Native Americans had already cultivated these three plants in this way.
And what worked for them could work for you too.
You have been toiling for hours. Your clothes were soaked in sweat and your back ached. Nevertheless, you continue to work, moving slowly but steadily through the beds.
"Here," you heard Rick say behind you at some point.
With great effort you straightened up and massaged your back. You felt every single vertebra as it slowly popped back into its original position. An exhausted moan could be heard as you finally turned to the man behind you.
Rick just stood there, bottle of water in hand, his eyes fixed on the fields.
You gratefully took the bottle from him and took a few sips of the refreshing liquid. Especially with such sweaty work in the blazing sun, it was incredibly important to drink enough if you did not want to suffer sunstroke.
And unfortunately, you were predestined to forget it sometimes. But Rick paid attention. You were family, and family looked after each other.
“Looks really good. If the plants continue to grow like this, we will be able to bring in quite a good yield. You are really a talented little farmer."
You looked at him in surprise with raised eyebrows.
"I'm not sure right now whether I should thank you or whether you insulted me."
“Believe me Y/N”, Rick laughed and put his hand on your shoulder, “that was meant as a compliment. An honest compliment. If we didn't have you, we almost certainly wouldn't even be able to harvest half as much. You really have a knack for it."
“Well, everyone does what they can. And I can do that."
You lowered your gaze. You felt uncomfortable when someone complimented you, so you tried to belittle it.
"No", Rick smiled at you friendly, "some do more than others."
After a long day of work and a long - but cold - shower, you sat down with Carol for dinner. You missed your family members. You missed Daryl.
The presence of the older woman had been a comfort to you in the last few days. This run had been going on for five days now, and it was impossible to tell when they would be back.
The feeling you felt in the pit of your stomach was almost the same as when Daryl had disappeared into the forest with Merle. Back then you thought you would never see him again.
But it was different now. Now you had hope that you would see him again.
Maybe.
“It's only been five days Y/N/N. It's too early to worry,” Carol tried to cheer you up.
"I'm not worried," you said stubbornly while you continued to stare at your now cold food.
"Yes of course. That's exactly why you've been poking around in your meal for ten minutes. You haven't even taken a bite."
You looked tiredly at the woman across from you.
“Eat, you worked hard. And tomorrow you will work as hard again as I know you. You need the calories. And believe me, you'd rather eat it voluntarily than have me cram it into you."
Carol had used her best mother voice. Even if Carol was not many years older than you, this woman had somehow become a mother's substitute for you.
After a few moments you finally began to empty your bowl slowly.
Getting around the days was easy. There was always enough work in the gardens and in the fields, you were busy and did not have much time to think.
In the nights it was different. They were bad.
The bed was way too big for you alone, and you lacked the warmth of Daryl's body.
Even on the hot nights of Georgia, you always fell asleep snuggled together. Ever since you had spent your first night like this, you knew that you could never do it again without it.
Now you were alone. Yet again. Daryl was still on this fucking run, and the solitude in those four walls that you had always enjoyed before, now seemed overwhelming to you.
What is he doing right now? Was he okay? Was he thinking of you, too?
With these wistful thoughts, you finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.
-----------------------------------------------
"If they are not back by tomorrow, we will send a search party out," announced Rick over breakfast.
You made no reply as you continued to choke down your small portion of porridge, bite by bite. You were not really hungry, but Carol's stern look had kept you from skipping breakfast.
“I'm sure they are fine. They will definitely be back here soon, "said Hershel soothingly," they are all experienced with such actions. They are sure to be fine."
Yes, they were all experienced, knew how to behave and how to protect themselves, but that nagging feeling persisted in you.
You had spent the whole morning working in the fields again, laboriously dragging buckets of water to provide the crops with enough moisture. If it did not rain soon, this would probably be your main occupation for the next few days and weeks.
You had two canisters tied to the outer end of a thick wooden stick. So, you could carry the heavy burden on your shoulders and not in your aching hands.
As you were trudging up the hill again with a full load of water, Rick was leaning against the base of the central guard tower, smiling, and staring into the distance.
"Looks as if we could save ourselves the search."
These words made your body tingly and you immediately turned to face the gates. You could not prevent an unspeakably bright smile from spreading on your face.
"Oh my god," you whispered when you saw the column of cars approaching the prison.
An unmistakable chopper at the head of the convoy.
An army of butterflies exploded in your stomach when you saw Daryl. He was back. He really came back to you.
When he finally brought his bike to a stop and casually dismounted it, you couldn't hold back any longer. Without further hesitation, you dropped the water canisters, which hit the floor with a thud, and immediately spread their moist contents over the floor.
You ran quickly towards Daryl. But even before you had covered half the distance, he was already coming towards you - a radiant smile on his lips.
When you finally met, you immediately put your arms around each other in a tight hug. Your head rested on his chest while he laid his head lovingly on top of yours.
Cuddled so tightly you could hear how fast his heart was beating, and an indescribable feeling of happiness flooded your body. Daryl was back - back by your side.
"Did you miss me," he finally began, and you could hear him grinning right away.
“No,” you answered, “not at all. Not one bit."
“Felt the same way."
With these words, his strong arms tightened around you even more, as if he were trying to melt into you.
So absorbed in your reunion, it took some time until you noticed that Rick and Carol were already discussing the successful run with the rest of the group.
"We got almost everything," you heard Glenn say when you had finally separated from each other and now went to the cars where everyone else was standing - your little fingers still hooked together.
"We found hundreds of canning jars and even seeds," added Sasha.
"Wheat, oat and a lot more." Maggie pointed to the back of the overcrowded pickup truck.
"And we also solved the problem with the heating," said Daryl mysteriously.
This run was really a complete success. But the biggest surprise was yet to come.
> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <
Suddenly the gushing and loud greeting was silent. Inquiring eyes met knowing faces.
You and Rick looked at each other as to ask if you really had heard this now.
> C O C K A D O O D L E D O O <
"What the hell is that", Rick wanted to know.
"What did it sound like?"
Daryl grinned mischievously and leaned casually against his bike; arms crossed over his chest. His chin raised challengingly.
"No," was all you could say at that moment.
"Yea," Daryl nodded, still grinning.
"No way!"
"Yea, a rooster and six chickens."
"How? Where? How?"
You were completely surprised and had to grin broadly. That was one of the best that could have happened to your community.
"Believe it or not, they were just walking around on a street corner," Glenn explained, looking incredulous about his statement himself.
"So the cattle market wasn't closed after all," you replied sarcastically.
Immediately Daryl had to roll his eyes.
"Just don't start with that," you chuckled and gave him a playful clap on the upper arm.
“You really missed something Y/N,” said Maggie with a grin, “believe me it was really impressive to see how Daryl caught the poultry. Didn't know that he was doing so well as a farmer."
"Yea, ha-ha, very funny!"
Daryl's ears had turned deep red, but then he had to laugh himself at the thought of this chicken-catching operation.
"I really would have liked to see that," you said with a laugh.
"Well, maybe there will be a repetition," said Glenn, "we have to get the critters out of the car somehow without them getting lost again."
"Ya can forget that right away," Daryl announced in a stern voice.
"Don't worry, I'll help you", you smiled at your boyfriend.
After a few minutes of reunion, you started to get the supplies out of the cars and to distribute them in the storage rooms.
Building a chicken coop was definitely on your to-do list for tomorrow. And it has been a long time since you had been looking forward to a job as much as this.
"And I found something for you too," Maggie whispered to you when she put her arm around your shoulders in a friendly manner.
You two had just cleared away a load of canning jars and were about to trot back to the cars.
"And that would be?"
Surprised you stopped and looked at her questioningly. You did not ask her to get you anything.
“I won't tell you yet,” she smiled, “but you will definitely enjoy it - as well as Daryl."
With these words, your best friend left you in the yard as she made her way back to the cars with a mischievous grin.
Part one Part tree
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byrachel · 4 years
Note
oh to be seths imprint and attend a wedding and realize how in love we are and dance and have fun and fall in love with life and with each other and sneak away from the wedding and drink champagne and slow dance under the moon at night and look at the sky. I would literally die a happy woman :,(
SETH CLEARWATER THE REST OF OUR LIVES
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word count: 1767
summary: when her duties as maid of honor become a little overwhelming, seth takes his girlfriend to a special place to take a break away from her family
warnings: you might experience extreme loneliness because I sure am
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note: i already posted about it, but this is such a cute request. this is probably one of the cutest requests i’ve ever gotten. i still want to apologize for taking so long to finish this, because I just wasn’t sure how to approach this. i hope you still enjoy this, anon!
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(Y/N) sighed softly, a pained expression replacing the fake smile which had occupied her face the whole day as she finally sat down at her assigned table. She put her hands against her back, softly straightening it to relieve herself from the twisting pain she had from walking around on heels the last few hours. “Should’ve worn flats.” She murmured to herself.
The family members and friends of the bride and groom were surrounding the dance floor of the wedding venue, where they were having their first dance of the night. It was the perfect moment to sneak away, because it was the first moment since the beginning of that stressful wedding day she didn’t have to do anything, but watch her sister and her now husband be happy. 
Even with hurting feet, (Y/N) smiled satisfied as she caught a glimpse of the dancing pair between the figures surrounding them. The soft creme glow of the low hanging lights was reflecting beautifully on her sister’s diamond encrusted dress, just like she had dreamed of. As the maid of honor, (Y/N) made sure she could bring heaven on earth for her sister so she could have her perfect day and seeing her smile, which even gave her butterflies in her stomach, she knew she succeeded. Nothing could ruin her sister’s day.
(Y/N) noticed her almost empty glass of champagne she had left at the edge of the table over three hours ago, showing her how long it had exactly been since she gave her body a rest. It didn’t even look like it had bubbles anymore. She almost wanted to chug the last bit down her throat, too lazy to get herself a new drink. She also wasn’t in the mood to talk to the flirting bartender either. She was slowly going to let her tongue dry out if she had to.
As she finally found a comfortable position to sit in, a pair of familiar hands suddenly found their way to her shoulders, rubbing their thumbs between her shoulder blades. “Hey, pretty lady.” Her boyfriend whispered into her ear, shivers going down her spine as his warm breath gently brushed along her neck. 
“Hey, baby.” Her lips curled up into a soft, relieved smile when she finally felt the one person she was waiting to spend her time with all day. Just like her, he was helping to make sure everything was perfect by being dragged along by her mother. Here and there, she would see him carry things behind the bar or make sure all the equipment was in the right place, secretly craving to be by his side and enjoy this beautiful moment with him. “I missed you today.” 
Although he probably saw her sit down, she felt like Seth didn’t only know when, but also how she needed him. On days she was emotionally drained and just avoided social interaction, he was the only person she could stand being around. He didn’t expect anything from her and just lied silently next to her, rubbing figures into her belly while they cuddled. 
“I would’ve loved to stay with you, but your mom wasn’t letting me out of her sight.” Seth chuckled, letting go of his girlfriend and sitting down on the chair next to her. “She even asked me to dance with her later.” 
(Y/N) cringed, aware of how overbearing her mom could be at times. “I told her to tone it down. I’ll talk--” 
“No, don’t. It’s fine.” Seth laughed, shaking his head. “Let’s just be civil for today, your sister deserves one day without an outburst from her. And it means she likes me, which is a good thing.”
Rolling her eyes at his statement knowing he was right, she quickly nodded in agreement. The last thing they needed was her mom to ruin the last few hours when everything went great so far. 
“But now we’ve both got a few minutes to spare, can I show you something?” Seth held his hand out to his girlfriend which she hesitantly accepted.
With a raised eyebrow, she tilted her head. “Where are you taking me?” 
Instead of telling her, he smiled from ear to ear as he promised her they would be back in time before anyone needed either of them again. Without trying to draw any attention by leaving through a random side door of the venue, (Y/N) looked over her shoulder one last time before they managed to slip away unnoticed. Holding onto her boyfriend’s arm she was able to ignore the pain in the heels of her feet, feeling a slight rush of adrenaline flow through her veins. 
It suddenly felt like they were teenagers again. It brought back a memory of when Seth convinced her to jump out of her window, promising her he would get her back into bed before anyone noticed. Thinking back she asked herself why that was her biggest concern when she was going to risk her limbs by trusting a guy to catch her as she jumped from the second floor. But she did it without a second thought and before she knew two strong arms stopped her from, what could’ve been, a nasty fall and she never doubted him again. 
“Wow.” Was the first thing escaping (Y/N)’s mouth when they ended up at a dock stretched out over a body of water. The full moon shone brightly, hitting the silent streams just right. It looked like tiny diamonds were appearing and disappearing at a rapid pace. She had seen a lot in her years, but she couldn’t have imagined something so simple would take her breath away. 
“I know, right?” Seth agreed calmly, having seen it before as he observed his girlfriend walk to the edge of the dock to get closer to take in the magnificent view. “I found it when I was helping out outside earlier.” 
“It’s beautiful.” She whispered, briefly looking back at him as his arms wrapped around her waist. He rested his chin on top of her shoulder, taking the view in with her as she intertwined her fingers with his on her belly.
Even before they started the day he knew there would be a point her family would start to drive her insane, her mom’s complaining, her sister’s requests, her aunts’ bickering about things not being to their liking. He didn’t know how she kept it together so well, but he could see it was tiring her out. She needed a break and that was exactly what he was trying to give her. He was convinced her family could survive five minutes without her.
But even with that short lived break, he already could tell she wasn’t going to pick up her phone for at least a week once they got home. He already heard himself ask her ‘what’s the excuse this time’ as they came up with something on the spot for when he picked up the phone for her. He didn’t mind though, he would do anything for her. And she knew that. 
As far away as they were, the faded music of her sister’s wedding could be heard. The new melody of the upcoming song caught Seth’s attention and made him pull away from his girlfriend. Left unprepared for the cool summer breeze brushing along her exposed skin, (Y/N) looked back at him to see what he was doing. 
Once again he held his hand out towards her, a soft smile plastered across his face. “Dance with me?” 
Her gaze softened as that same pained smile from before appeared on her face. “I would love to, but my feet feel like they’re going to fall off.” 
Seth rolled his eyes playfully and tilted his head, signaling her to come to him. “C’mere.” 
As much as (Y/N) wanted to reject his offer, she couldn’t say no to those eyes. She did as she was told, approaching her boyfriend who grabbed her hands and gently pressed his smiling lips against her knuckles - earning a giggle from her - before he placed her cold hands around his neck. He pulled her closer to him, their chests touching as he did. 
“Stand on my shoes.” He grinned.
“Okay.” She breathed, finally understanding his plan as she used the balls of your feet to stand on top of his feet. They laughed in unison when it appeared she was even taller than on her heels alone, bringing her face closer to his. 
“Hi.” 
“Hey.” Seth smiled back, lowering his hands down to her lower back. 
Even with his girlfriend standing on top of him he managed to gently sway them to the melody of the music playing in the distance. (Y/N) leaned into his touch, placing her head against his shoulder while she felt Seth’s head resting against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed to take in his warmth and scent of his cologne. She would truly stay in his arms forever if she could. 
“Did I already tell you how beautiful you look today?” Seth broke the comfortable silence between them, his voice much lower than before.
Blood rushed to (Y/N)’s cheeks, the butterflies in her stomach reminding her of their first date. How he managed to make her feel like that every time he was a little too close was still a mystery, but she would never get enough of the feeling. 
“You haven’t actually.” She answered, grinning as her head still rested against his shoulder.
“You, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). . .” His movements were starting to slow down, one of his hands pulling away from her lower back to grab her by the chin. He pushed her face up to meet his gaze and he leaned in slightly leaving a slim space between them. A shaky breath hit his face as he left his girlfriend completely flustered by his actions. “are absolutely gorgeous.” 
Closing the gap between them, Seth gently pressed his lips against hers as both of their eyes closed shut. He did not care about her lipstick rubbing off on him. He was hers after all and he wasn’t afraid to show others that. (Y/N) moved her hand up the back of his head, intertwining her fingers with his long dark locks and pushed him closer to deepen their kiss. 
This wasn’t that kind of love you would have to lose before you realized you had it, it was the kind you felt and realized in the moment. And standing there on that dock with the moon shining down at them, was the moment they realized they would have this love the rest of their lives.
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masterlist | not edited
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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years
Note
Hello Wendy!!!! Congratulations on your 1k! You deserve it and I hope for many more followers for you. May I request a Priest Suguru x Goddess (pantheon) f! reader with sinful touch? I would also like to write something for your event if you allow me to ❤️❤️❤️ Once again, congratulationnnns
I love this idea! Here goes nothing (Thank you for requesting bby)!
Beloved: Priest!Geto Suguru x Fem!Goddess!Reader
wc: 1.3k
tw: fluff (based on the second part of your request in my inbox)
1K Follower Event Masterlist
"You're quiet tonight," you whisper, trailing your fingers along your favorite priest's jawline. "You're not even playing the lyre. What's on your mind?"
Suguru takes your hand and kisses each one of your fingers, then touches your nose with his index finger.
"Nothing," he lies, and you frown, humming softly.
"You're not being truthful."
"I know." You raise up on an elbow and look down at Geto in the moonlight, your hair falling over your shoulder. "I'm not sure I want to discuss it right now." You sigh, leaning down to kiss his lips before the stars begin to call your name, their twinkling like chimes in your ears.
"I'll wait for you to talk about it when you're ready." And with those words, you vanish into thin air, becoming a mass of shimmering particles that Suguru always reaches out to touch after you've gone.
And you don't tell him where you go. But you do tell him when you'll go.
It's always been this way. Ever since Suguru was a child who washed up on your temple steps like a lost piece of a ship and you were just beginning your eternal existence, you'd been attached at the hip.
From friends to lovers, it had all been so seamless. He was your human lover, and you would spend your days with him, exploring all of the things humanity had to give you. Which admittedly, wasn't much, but he still managed to make life exciting. And at night, you would whisk yourself back to the palace of your father, sitting at his feet while he grew old and lost his sight to the endless years of watching over his subjects.
"Y/n," your father whispers this night.
"Yes?"
"I am growing old. Soon, you will take my place as the goddess of humanity, and I will retire to the Fields of the Aged, like my father, and his father before him." Your first thought is of Suguru, and the idea of abandoning him is akin to the taste of metal in your mouth. Unpleasant.
"Father, why not allow Minerva to take your place?" you wonder, placing a hand on his wrinkled knee. "She is wise, and older, and much more equipped to be--"
"You are more beloved among the people. Minerva is also a wife, and a mother." And you are neither of these things. Your father does not say it, but you know that's what he is implying. And even though you are sitting at his feet on the heavenly dais, you cannot find the strength to argue that you're merely a goddess of dance and festivals, not an omnipotent ruler.
_____________________________________________________________
And when you return to Suguru, it seems he is more withdrawn than usual, his eyes never once looking at you as he goes about his chores in the temple.
At the fifth hour of this treatment, you stand, walking over to him and placing a hand on his back.
"Look at me." Suguru turns his head, but his eyes do not connect with your face at all. "Please, look at me." And he does for a brief moment, his hands dropping the towels to the freshly cleaned floor. "What is the matter?"
"You know the Oracle speaks for your father here on earth." You straighten up, walking over to his side and looking into his dark, brooding eyes. "And I heard what he is planning." You swallow hard, then grip both of his arms with an intensity you've never expressed to him in your current form.
"It will all be okay," you reassure him as his eyes cloud with sorrow. "I am not leaving you." He politely removes your hands from his bare arms, shaking his head.
"But I will die. And you will only be able to watch from the heavens."
"My father is not changing power to me for another thousand years," you mention nervously. Your hands shake as Suguru backs away from you, his hair blowing in the wind coming in from the open window.
"You don't know that. You don't know that." And he turns to leave the temple, hurriedly walking away with only the clothes on his back.
_____________________________________________________________
You lay at the foot of your father's throne, eyes welling up with tears for the third time in an hour.
"Father, please! I need you to help me find my priest. He has gone missing!"
Your father wets his lips, beginning to speak, but your sister cuts him off.
"For what? For him to die? Loving a human is not wise, little sister. They all have such short lives." You want to snap at your older sister, but your father speaks, his voice old and worn like an oft-read scroll.
"If I give you the power of the Sight, you will not be able to revoke it. All of the things that come with it will be granted to you in time, but the All-Sight is a powerful gift only to be used when it is necessary."
"Please," you choke out. "I need him." Your father stretches his hand forward, and without touching you, a ball of white light floats from his fingertips to your forehead, soaking in slowly. You don't immediately feel anything, eyes remaining unchanged, but then you begin to see everything. Everything.
The world is a blur, but you can see the gods of the past roaming around the heavenly halls, the future gods bumping into each other and starting fights, and the present all at the same time.
You scream out in terror, crawling back on your hands and feet and backing into a wall, still hollering in fear.
"Y/N!" a voice calls to you, and you can see fragments of your sister floating around in your field of vision. "Y/N! Focus on me, focus on the sound of my voice. Bring yourself back to the present. Bring yourself back."
But the images do not cease, and endless versions of the future play out while the past is unwoven and rewoven over and over again at the same time. You're stuck there, eyes flicking back and forth between the scenes before you can't tell what time is anymore. Then, it all goes dark.
_____________________________________________________________
A song is being played.
It's soft, and the sound of the stringed instrument is familiar...
In what life did you become accustomed to hearing the lyre?
The past? The present? Or--
Words drift into the ether, and you find your lips mouthing the love song, and your fingers twitch along with the plucked notes. When the song is over, you gather your strength to open your eyes but find them sealed quite shut.
"I love you." A kiss is placed on both of them, and then a kiss is placed on your lips with care before your lover stands up to leave.
"No..." you moan, and a sharp inhale is heard.
"What did you say?"
"Stay." Suguru walks back, then touches your cheek.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you." When your eyes can finally open, you take in the absolute normalcy of your vision, and your head swims as you try to focus on Suguru's worried face.
"You came back..." you croak, and Suguru looks away sheepishly.
"Your sister came to get me. You were in terrible shape when I arrived, but..." He holds up the lyre. "Music seemed to help."
"Where did you go?" you wonder, but the throbbing headache stops you from inquiring further. "Nevermind. My head hurts..."
"Rest," Suguru encourages you, pulling your sheets around your figure. It's only when you lay back on your pillows that you realize you're not in the temple. You shoot up in the bed, eyes wide.
"Wait, you cannot be here; you'll d--"
"Die?" Suguru wonders, raising a brow. "Good thing that's not an issue for us." Us?
"Suguru, what--"
"Your father is very gracious," he murmurs, smiling widely. "I suppose being your favorite priest is enough to grant you eternity." You lay back on the pillows again at Suguru's guidance, and he presses a kiss to your forehead. "Now, seriously. Rest. We have all eternity to figure out, and I'm not wasting a single day."
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Hero | Luke Patterson
Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!
Song Fic February Week 4: Musicals 
Inspiration: StarStruck (DCOM)
Requested: Yes/No
A/N: Anon suggested doing something with the Starstruck soundtrack, so I’m writing a whole-ass series. This is based off the plot of Starstruck but the reader was a fan of JATP until she met Luke... Basically crush to enemies to lovers! Also a modern!au.
The third installment of the StarStruck series! 
StarStruck
Something About The Sunshine
Hero
What You Mean To Me
Pairing: Luke x Fem!reader
Song(s) used: Hero - Christopher Wilde (StarStruck ST)
Warnings: few swear words, mention of car accidents, mention of child abuse, mention of postnatal depression, tiny bit of angst
Words: 8.6K
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I’m almost nervous to see him again. There’s a nervous flutter erupting from the pit of my stomach and I feel hot and sweaty when it’s not even that warm out. The boy didn’t have that effect on me just a day ago and now he suddenly does? I hate this. 
“Morning,” I greet when I find Luke standing outside the coffee shop with his hood pulled far over his head and sunglasses covering his beautiful eyes. He shoots me a smile, but I don’t think he actually looks at me. Right, the whole “I can’t be seen with you”-thing. 
“Want to go grab some coffee before we go?” I ask instead, pointing at the shop. 
Luke nods his head and follows me inside where we wait in line together. The silence that hangs over us is uncomfortable for the first time. I don’t know why but his mysterious, secretive antics are making me nervous. 
“Next!” the barista calls and the two of us step forward. The twenty-something woman shoots the both of us a polite smile, not even acknowledging that Luke’s keeping his head low. This is L.A., she’s probably used to it by now. “What can I get for ya?” 
“An iced vanilla latte for me, please,” I say and then glance down at Luke. 
He coughs. “Iced caramel macchiato.” His voice is low, just above a whisper, as though he’s telling the barista and me a secret. I’m glad we’re going to be out of the city soon, so Luke can go back to his regular self. Or to the singing-on-top-of-a-car-in-the-middle-of-nowhere self. 
“What’s your name, please?” 
“Y/N…” My eyes land on Luke for a split second, and I’m pretty sure he’s not even going to answer. Luke’s a pretty generic name, I’m sure people won’t even bother to look up. “Put my name on both, please.” 
The barista smiles and then dashes off after I paid to start making our coffees while we shuffle towards the end of the counter, ready to take our drinks when they’re ready. Luke keeps his head down. He doesn’t even look up at me and the awkward silence doesn’t eb away.  
“You’re not gonna talk to me yet, are you?” I ask him as I hand him one of the two straws I picked up. He shakes his head. I try my hardest not to groan and instead, hand him the keys to my car. “Here, get yourself settled in my car, I’ll handle this.” 
His eyes peer over the rim of his sunglasses, flickering with uncertainty and gratefulness at the same time. I shoot him a smile, urging him to get out of here, which he does with a quick flash of his teeth. 
The awkwardness quickly washes off me when he’s left the coffee shop and I’m all alone, hoping everything would change once we’re all alone, away from the prying eyes of Los Angeles’ residents. 
“Iced vanilla latte and iced caramel macchiato for y/n,” the barista calls and places the cups on the counter in front of me. 
I smile at her, say, “Thank you! Bye!” and then dart out of the coffee shop as fast as I could. I weave my way through hasty people and slacking tourists towards my Toyota Yaris where a hooded boy sits in my passenger seat. He still has his hood pulled up and his sunglasses balancing on the bridge of his nose. He almost looks sad, which makes me a little sad too. I wish I could do more than let him wait in my car. 
“Here you go,” I say and hand him his coffee when I’ve settled into my seat. 
“Thank you,” he mutters, and I’m pretty sure it’s not just for the beverage. 
A smile etches its way to my cheeks as I regard him. “You’re welcome,” I say and then start the engine. As I pull out of the parking lot, Luke finally sparks up a conversation. I’m almost relieved to hear his voice again for more than two words.    
“Where’re we going?” he asks. 
I debate telling him but then decide I’d do it anyway. I’ve been researching a lot last night and have found the greatest secluded spots and the time slots when they’re mostly deserted or have the least visitors. The one I wanted to take him to today was a lot closer than the other ones, so I figured we could start with that. 
“The Old L.A. Zoo. It’s less crowded before 9am, so I figured we could go explore it a bit until too many people arrive?” The statement comes out of my mouth as a question since I’m unsure whether or not he’d like that. 
“Cool,” he replies, and he sounds honest, too. “I don’t think I’ve ever been there.” 
It surprises me a little, but I go with it anyway. “Really? I’ve been there plenty of times! It’s really cool! Kinda spooky.” Luke lets out an airy laugh at that and it makes my heart flutter a little. 
Within ten minutes, we arrive at the old zoo. Ten minutes had gone by and yet it felt like a split second. The conversation ran fluently on our way there and Luke told me things about the band and his childhood that not even the biggest fangirl on earth could possibly know. I love talking to Luke about those seemingly uninteresting, small things. 
The rest of the morning, too, goes by as if there’s no concept of time whatsoever. The two of us walk through the old, abandoned zoo and explore every single old habitat. I even find a website that tells us the entire history of each section of the zoo and as I read it, Luke listens and adds in his own commentary. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much in just a few  hours. This guy is genuinely funny and I just adore talking to him. Our conversations go from the ridiculous to the serious, and every subject in between. 
It’s just the perfect day that I wish would never end, but inevitably, Luke has his own responsibilities and has to go by lunch time. 
“Hey, why don’t you come with me to the studio?” he asks with a smile as we’re making our way back to the car. “I’m in there all by myself, aside from our producer, and I’m recording a few songs.” 
I open and close my mouth a few times, letting incomprehensible sounds roll out. It makes me look like a dumbfounded fish, I’m sure, but I don’t care. My brain is dysfunctioning for a moment. Luke Patterson is asking me to come to the studio with him. To watch him record some songs. Songs that are going to be on the album. 
Luke’s laugh makes the gears in my brain fall back into place. “Is that a yes?” he asks. 
A heat rises up to my cheeks. “Yeah,” I finally manage. 
“Cool,” he says and then gets into the car. 
The ride to the studio is filled with smooth conversation. We never miss a beat, there’s never an awkward silence between the two of us. Only when we arrive at the recording studio and we’re met with a huddle of paparazzi outside the door.
“Fuck,” he mutters and ducks down. I do the same, knowing he doesn’t want me to be seen with him either. “Drive around back,” he orders before fumbling into the glove compartment of my car. He retrieves a pair of sunglasses I kept there, along with a shawl of my mother’s that I didn’t know was still in there. “Put this on.” 
“No,” I reply sternly, pushing his hand with the shawl away. I do take the sunglasses from his hand though, and push them onto my nose. “Put that shawl away,” I bark. The boy obeys and stuffs the piece of cursed fabric back where it came from. 
Mental note: throw that out. 
When we finally do get into the recording studio, as soon as I’m on Luke’s side, he grabs my hand and drags me into the building before anyone could ever spot us. I nearly stumble on my own feet, but quickly pick myself back up before I faceplant the floor. 
Luke huffs. “Phew, that was close.” 
He looks at me, and for a second, I think he might bring up the shawl again, but he doesn’t and instead turns to his producer, who had gotten up from his swivel chair the second we burst in.  
“Connor!” Luke greets excitedly and shakes the man’s hand. 
He looks near his thirties, strong built with flawless dark skin and a full head of afro hair. Combined with his extremely savvy outfit, I find him really cool-looking. He’s the kind of guy that would get all the girls in high school while still being a sweetheart. 
“You brought some new flesh, I see,” Connor says to me and outstretches his hand for me to shake. I do so with a wide smile on my face while pretending not to be completely nervous about being in a recording studio for the first time. 
“Y/N,” I introduce myself. 
“Welcome to our little slice of heaven on earth, y/n.” My eyes flick to Luke, who’s giving me that look again, so I quickly turn back to Connor. “Any knowledge of recording studios, y/n?” he asks. 
“Never been in one, but my friend is a producer and he did teach me some things.” 
I hear Luke huff beside me. “I didn’t know that.” 
“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know.” I shoot him a wink as Connor beckons me towards his deck. For a while, Connor guides me through his paces while Luke gives the best of himself on this song. 
After a few takes, Luke comes out of the booth and joins me and Connor to listen to what we’d recorded thus far. “What if –” I pause, debating my thoughts. “What if we go in with some soft backing vocals on here?” I click the part of the chorus we’d recorded and sing along with recorded Luke. 
“'Cause I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy With heart and soul But if your the one for me Then I'll be your hero”
“I think if you put Julie on those backings, it could give that duet-vibe you guys are so good at.” I notice Connor and Luke glance at each other, soft smiles playing on both their lips. 
“Why don’t you show us?” Connor asks as Luke already grabs my hand. 
“What?! Me? No! Julie.” 
Luke chuckles and drags me into the booth with him. “Yeah, but we’re gonna need a demo, don’t we?” He delicately places a set of headphones on my head before placing one on his own. He signals to Connor and no later than 2 seconds, the instrumental version of the song blasts through the headphones. 
Gazing at me, Luke starts singing the first verse of the song, and I let him. It almost feels like he’s serenading me. Almost. All that’s missing is a guitar or a boombox over his head. 
“I'm no superman I can't take your hand And fly you anywhere you want to go Yeah I can't read your mind Like a billboard sign And tell you everything you want to hear But I'll be your hero”
From the chorus onwards, I jump in with backing vocals wherever I feel like it’s acceptable without taking my eyes off of Luke. 
“I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy With heart and soul But if you're the one for me Then I'll be your hero”
“Could you be the one Could you be the one for me” “Oh I'll be your hero” “Could you be the one Could you be the one for me” “Yeah I'll be your hero”
“So incredible Some kind of miracle That's what it's meant to be I'll become a hero So I wait, wait, wait, wait for you”
We keep our eyes locked at the high note too, smiles plastered on our faces from ear to ear. Singing with Luke gives me some kinda rush. A feeling I can’t quite describe but it’s a feeling I want to feel more often. 
“Yeah, I'll be your hero Yeah”
“Cause I I can be everything you need If you're the one for me Like gravity I'll be unstoppable I, Yeah, I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy with and soul But if you're the one for me I'll be your hero”
“Yeah, I'll be your hero”
“Could you be the one Could you be the one for me”
“Yeah I'll be your hero”
The music fades out in our headphones, and soon, Connor’s applause sounds through it instead. I’m snapped back into reality, away from cloud 9, away from the pure bliss that’s singing with Luke and gazing into his eyes. 
“That was amazing! Good job, guys!” Connor says, beaming. 
Luke and I remove our headphones and he grabs my hand to lead me back to the decks where Connor welcomes us with open arms and a wide smile. 
“I thought you and Julie were the most watchable duetters, but I’ve been proven wrong.” 
I feel the heat rise to my cheeks before Luke snaps me out of it again. 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Con. Can you send the finished product to the band and our manager? I’m sure they’d like to hear this. Don’t tell them who’s on backing vocals, though. They don’t need to know that.”
I swallow a lump in my throat and try to convince myself it’s probably not that deep. Luke doesn’t want to be seen with me. Not even by his band mates. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. 
We wrap up the recording session and I drive Luke back to the coffee shop where he looks behind him and out of every single one of the windows, just to be sure the coast is clear of paparazzi. 
“Thanks for the day, y/n. I really enjoyed spending time with you again.” 
I force a smile. Ever since his statement to Connor about not wanting the band to know about me, I’ve been going over everything in my mind and it has caused me to fold in on myself.
“Yeah, it was fun.” 
He gazes at me for a moment, inspecting every inch of my face as if detecting the lie from my eyes. When I think he’s just going to bid his goodbyes and get out, he doesn’t. Instead, he turns his body to me and reaches for his phone. I watch as he unlocks it and taps away on it before turning the device towards me. There’s a new contact form open on his screen. 
“Gimme your number. I’d love to do this again some day.” 
I furrow my brow while taking the phone in my hands. “Do you even have time to spend days with a nobody like me?” I don’t dare look at him and keep my eyes on the screen as I type my name and number. 
He doesn’t say anything either until I finally cave and look up when giving his phone back. There’s a crease in his forehead as his eyebrows are knitted together in confusion. 
“You’re not a nobody, y/n. I’d gladly make time for you. I told you, I loved spending days away from reality. Especially with you.” Fangirl Me is jumping out of my skin while Present Me tries to keep her cool and ignore all of the butterflies that erupt in her stomach. 
“Cool,” Present Me says out loud while Fangirl Me is scolding her so hard. 
Cool? Cool?! Seriously? Dude.   
“I’ll text you, yeah?” 
I nod my head in response and watch as he gets out of my car. Before I can even place my foot on the gas or shift out of park, my phone beeps in the pocket of my sweater. For the first time in forever, I smile when seeing an unknown number on my screen. 
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As I look out of my window, I find Luke looking at me with his hood pulled over his head again. He shoots me a quick smile and a wave before I turn to my phone again and type a reply. 
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I whip my head up to see his reaction. His jaw drops before his face turns into a scowl as he glares at me. Giggling and satisfied with the reaction, I place my phone on the passenger’s seat where Luke was sitting before and then pull out of the parking spot. 
That night, I save Luke’s number to my phone. I go between “Luke P.”, “Patterson” and “Luke ❤️” but eventually decide on the funnier option and save him as “Poo Musician 💩”.   
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I stand in line at the coffee shop before 8:30 that morning and I’m a little nervous. Last night when I returned from my day with Luke, the two of us had been texting back and forth. I felt like a sixteen year old again. One of those giggly teenagers that’s texting their crush. Which is what I was, but it’s been a while since I felt like it. 
Once I have an iced vanilla latte and an iced caramel macchiato, I head outside where I find a boy waiting by my car. He’s wearing a sleeveless shirt paired with a bright blue sleeveless sweater, his hood pulled far over his head so his face is hidden from prying eyes. 
I don’t need to see his face to know it’s Luke. I’d recognize those muscles from a mile away. The way he’s leaning against the hood of my car and the way he’s holding his phone is a dead giveaway too. 
“Your coffee, sir,” I say in a serious, deep voice. 
Luke’s head snaps up, eyes wide. He looks like a deer caught in headlights until he notices it’s just me and relaxes. A smile etches onto his face as he tucks his phone into the pocket of his jeans whilst taking the coffee I ordered for him with his other hand. 
He takes a cautious sip from the beverage. “Hm, Caramel Macchiato, someone’s been stalking me.” I know he’s just teasing, I can tell by the way one corner of his mouth curls up and his eyes have that childlike glint in them. 
Making my way to the driver’s side of my car, I smile and say, “Contrary to popular belief, Patterson, I’m not a stalker. I just remembered your order from yesterday.” 
Luke’s smile tells me something I’d rather not think about. It’s like he’s saying “You remembered my order” in that flirty way only he knows how to. I simply shrug before opening my door and getting in with Luke following my example. Without missing a beat, he fishes my phone from between my fingers and grabs my free hand to use my thumb to unlock my phone. This time, I don’t object and let him. I know that it’s just to get to my music app anyway. 
While Journey’s Anyway You Want It plays through the car’s speakers, I pull out of the parking spot in front of the coffee shop and start driving to the next location I’d found during my research the other night. 
“Where’re we going?” he asks, and I flashback to yesterday when he asked me the exact same question in that exact same way. 
I smile as I place my cup in the cupholder between the two of us. “You’ll see.” I glance over, finding him tilting his head slightly and giving me that ‘Really?’ look. “I promise it’s very secluded and not a lot of people will be there.” 
“Cool,” he says and sips. “Is this where you’re going to kidnap me and hold me for ransom? I bet you could get a lot of money for a Julie and The Phantoms band member.” 
I snort at his remark. “How much do you think I could get for you?” 
He scrunches up his nose in thought, which I catch as I take a quick glance at him again. As I face the road again, I reach for my coffee and take a quick sip, awaiting Luke’s response to my question. 
“Like 10k?” 
I nearly spit out my coffee. “10k?!” I screech, and his laugh thunders through my car. “Careful or I’ll actually kidnap you and hold you for ransom if I’m gonna earn that much.” 
The laughter dies down and after a few moments of silence lingering in the air, Luke says, “How much do you think I’m worth?” 
Without missing a beat, I respond to his question, dead serious. “Not even a dollar.”  
Luke gasps, his mouth dropping in absolute disbelief while I can’t help but cackle loudly. Judging from this conversation alone, I’m positive today will be a good day. A good, fun day. 
“I’m worth more than a dollar, right?” 
“No, you’re right, I’d probably ask like a million and then no one will pay the ransom and you’ll have to stay with me for the rest of your life.” 
I let out my best maniacal laughter as I feel him watch me. I know the exact look he’s giving me. The look. The one with the glistening eyes and the slightly turned up lips. The one all girls and gays swoon for. The one I would swoon for if I’d turn my head right now. But I don’t. For once in my life, I’m smart and keep my eyes on the road. 
“You like me,” he states proudly. 
“Slightly less strong dislike.” I’m lying through my teeth, but I’m hoping Luke won’t notice. Or at least not acknowledge it because I can already feel the heat rising to my cheeks. 
“I’ll take it.” 
He reaches forward and turns the volume up as Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” floats through the speakers. Very loudly, and very obnoxiously, the boy begins to sing along. If it wasn’t for the velvet smooth voice, I would’ve scolded at him to keep it down. But the sound actually makes my toes curl and my stomach flutter. For a verse, I let him sing by himself while I enjoy his performance but by the chorus, I can’t withhold myself and sing along with him. 
The rest of the ride is filled with belting of the road trip tunes, laced with patches of small talk. It’s the perfect car ride, and before we know it, we’ve arrived at our destination. Santa Fe Dam Recreation Area. The parking lot is practically empty, aside from two cars, which I’m assuming are the staff’s. It’s the perfect indication that I picked the right spot to go to, and I can tell Luke knows it too. 
He’s bouncing in his seat, either from excitement or the amount of sugar that was in his iced coffee, and when I turn off the ignition and turn to him, he looks at me with the widest smile plastered on his face. He almost looks like an excited toddler on Christmas morning, ready to open his presents. 
“I came here once with my parents when I was younger,” he tells me, “I love this place.” 
His confession makes me smile. “Good because I’ve been scouring the internet for the perfect place.” He shoots me the look again. “Stop looking at me like that.” 
“Like what?” 
“Like you’re going to kiss me.” 
He shrugs, “Maybe I want to.” 
“So you want me to slap you?” 
His smile fades away immediately. “Let’s go,” he grumbles and quickly gets out. 
I heave in a deep breath, recollecting myself before getting out too and retrieving the backpack I brought, filled with stuff for today. Including my itinerary – or just a notebook filled with some ideas I had. 
“How about we start with a bike ride across the park?” I suggest, pointing at the bike rental shop I found on Google the other night. 
We walk into the rental place, expecting there to be bikes upon bikes but instead, we’re met with kayaks, pedal boats and go-karts. My eyebrows furrow, creasing my forehead as I look around the space. Why’s this called a bike rental when there are technically no bikes to rent? No actual bikes. 
“I thought we were going for a bike ride?” Luke says, teasingly. I look up at him, and I think my face tells him enough about my knowledge about this place. My research clearly wasn’t sufficient. 
Deciding to just roll with the circumstances, I roll my shoulders back and put a smile on my face. “Yeah, we’re going on a bike ride with one of these!” I say and point to the large, green go-kart. One of those that look like an old-school car at the front and have children’s seats in front of the terribly cushioned seats for adults. The ones with the small plastic wheel and bike pedals for two adults. I remember going on one of those big ones for six people with my family. 
“You’re serious?” Luke asks, his eyes wide. 
Instead of answering, I shoot him a smile before stepping forwards towards the staff member at the counter. The woman behind the counter looks no older than 45 and has long, billowing blonde locks that cascade down her shoulders. Her bright blue piercing eyes glisten as they land on the two of us, clearly glad she sees some customers so early in the day. 
“Good morning,” she greets with a smile, “We open in half an hour.” 
“Oh…” My research has been poor. 
Before I can possibly think of an answer, Luke steps forward and flashes the woman a smile. I’m not sure if he’s going to use his manly charms or if he’s going to pull the “Don’t you know who I am?” card. 
“Can’t you… make an exception for us?” he asks, leaning his elbow on the counter as he looks at the woman through his lashes. The woman looks up at Luke, her face like stone. She doesn’t recognize him and doesn’t fall for his charms either. 
Shaking my head, I spring into action. I quickly change the ring on my index finger to my ring finger and wrap my arm around Luke’s bicep while the other rests on his chest, making sure the ring is as visible as can be. As I flutter my eyelashes at the woman, I let the words tumble out of my mouth. 
“Please, ma’am? It’s our one year engagement anniversary and he was going to take me on this romantic bike ride….” I then lean forward over the counter. “He’s not very good at researching our dates, but he tries.” 
The woman’s eyebrows knit together as her eyes dart from me to Luke and back. 
“Aren’t you guys a little young to be engaged?” 
Luke jumps into the improvisation spot. “We’ve been told that a lot but we’ve been best friends for years and there’s no one I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” He looks down at me and when I glance up, too, he kisses the tip of my nose, which I then scrunch. 
I ignore the flutters in my stomach and face the woman again. She seems to have softened, her eyes less icy than it was before. Then, she turns to her computer and clicks through a few browsers before facing us again. 
“What do you guys want? The Surrey?” She points to the green bike-thing at the front of the shop. I nod my head in response. “Okay. You’ve got it for two hours for the price of one hour.” 
A smile etches its way to my face. “That’s perfect, thank you.” 
 Luke pays the woman the rental fee and then she helps us get Surrey out of the garage. After bidding our goodbyes, Luke and I pedal off on the bike. 
“One year engagement, really?” Luke asks me when we’re far enough from the rental and I switch my rings back around. 
“Well, whatever you were doing didn’t work.” 
 He scoffs. “It was working.” 
We pedal down the winding road with the wind blowing through our hair. I love how warm the breeze is and how the birds are chirping in the trees around us. This is the perfect day to go out and do this. 
“What exactly were you planning to do?” I ask him, glancing up at him. He’s focusing on the road ahead of us, a comfortable smile resting on his lips while his eyes flick from one side to another, taking everything in. 
He glances down at me, the smile turning into a smirk. “I was going to charm her with my manly wiles.” 
“And how was that working for ya?” 
For a second, we lock eyes. Luke has an annoyed look on his face while I can’t help but have my lips curl up on one side into a smirk. When he whips his head forward again, I notice the slight tint of pink covering his cheeks. 
Did I just make Luke Patterson blush? 
“So,” he coughs. “Whatcha wanna do?”
I shrug. “We could play twenty questions? Get to know each other better.” 
He nods his head in response. “You wanna start?” 
“That’s your first question?” 
“That’s yours?” 
I press my lips together, shutting myself up for just a moment before recomposing myself. I’m not going to lie, I totally Googled some questions to ask in a game of 20 questions. So, I’m prepared. 
“If you had to be trapped on a deserted island with one of your friends, who would you pick and why?” Luke’s eyes widen at the question a little. 
“Woah, straight in! I thought you were gonna start with ‘favorite color’ or something.” He chuckles lightly, and so do I. “Uhm… Not Alex, he’d probably be super anxious and pace all the way across the island and make me nervous. Not Reggie either, he’d be singing country songs the entire time, though he is a great cuddler. Maybe Julie? Though she’s gonna be miserable without Flynn….” 
With every thought he says out loud, my smile grows bigger and bigger. 
“You?” My heart leaps in my chest at his answer. “Yeah, I like spending time with you and what better place to get away from real life than a deserted island, right?” 
Without missing a beat, the next words pour out of my mouth. “It’s cute how you think we’re friends now.” I surprise myself with the words I speak. We are friends, but I like winding him up into thinking we’re not. 
“Friends who wanna kiss each other.” 
Ignoring the heat rising to my cheeks, I reply, “You mean kill?” 
Luke shakes his head, an amused smile on his face. “When are you going to admit that you like me?” 
“Never – Next question.” 
“Uhm… What was the last thing you stole or shoplifted?” he asks and I’m glad he doesn’t push any further on the fact I basically admitted that I like him. 
“Oh! A magnet in a tourist shop in Lanzarote,” I reply, giggling a little at the memory. “I was there with a couple of friends during Spring Break and those magnets cost way too much for what they are and there was like a rack outside the shop. So, I shoplifted an overpriced Lanzarote magnet.” 
Luke throws his head back as he laughs, nearly steering us into the bushes. “That’s amazing,” he cackles.  
We cruise through the entire park for two entire hours, asking each other questions, and after returning the Surrey, we walk towards the lake where we settle down onto the blanket I brought for some food. I’d prepared an entire picnic basket for us to enjoy during our lunch. 
“I find it very cute that you made an entire picnic basket for our first date.” 
I smile. “I find it very cute that you think this is a date.” 
He gives me the look again, but I ignore it and get every piece of food out of my backpack, sprawling it out around us. Sandwiches, chopped up vegetables and fruits, muffins,... All the delicious foods you’d find in a picnic. 
“Tell me more about your childhood,” Luke then says as he takes a chicken sandwich and takes a bite. “You don’t talk about it much.” 
My heart drops into my stomach. I wish he wouldn’t ask about that. Talking about my childhood means talking about my mother and I’ve been trying to avoid that for the past years. Not that many of my friends even know about that. 
“I told you plenty.” 
“You talked about your teenage years, but never about your childhood.” 
I take a deep breath. He’s not going to shut up about this until I tell him. It’s not that I don’t trust him, it’s just that I don’t love talking about what happened with my mother. It’s something I’d much rather forget. 
“There’s a reason for that,” I reply pointedly and then shut myself up by taking a sip from the box of orange juice. I’d packed one for the both of us, but I’m the only one who’s opened it already as Luke had gone straight in with the sandwiches. 
Luke stares at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. His eyes pierce through my soul and give me a sense of comfort. They lift a weight of my shoulders and chest that I hadn’t even noticed were there. His eyes feel like coming home. Comfortable. A place to relax. A place to be me, be myself. 
I heave in a deep breath and place my juice box on my nervously bouncing knee, holding it with my hand. It doesn’t stop the bouncing, so now my whole body is practically shaking along with the movement. 
“I–” I stop myself, reconsidering my words. “My childhood wasn’t the sunshine and roses it’s supposed to be.” I chuckle nervously and when I meet Luke’s eyes again, they’re looking at me with such intent that I almost launch forward and kiss him. But I don’t. 
“Mom was… difficult to live with…” I start cautiously,  not even daring to look at Luke as I speak and keep my eyes on the still lake in front of us. “She uhm… After I was born, she kinda went into postnatal depression. She didn’t take care of me, she barely even looked at me… At one point, it went so far that she got into an accident, on purpose, with me in the back. She did it a few times, even, to the point where dad just had to report it. She was admitted to the psych ward and that was that... I was ten at the time.” I swallow to hold back the tears that are pricking behind my eyes. 
Feeling a soft brush of the hand on my knee, I glance up, meeting Luke’s eyes. They give me that sense of comfort again, that sense of home, the reassurance that I’m okay. 
“We haven’t really seen her since. She’s out of our lives…” I sniffle and place my hand over Luke’s, giving it a thankful squeeze. “I don’t like talking about it.” 
Luke carefully laces his fingers through mine, his cold rings cooling my warm hand. “I’m sorry I brought it up.” I shrug dismissively. “But thank you for telling me.” 
“So, tell me,” I lift our entwined hands for a second as though pulling us back into reality. “How did Sunset Curve-slash-Julie and The Phantoms came to be?” 
Luke chuckles before engulfing our locked hands with his other and tumbling into the origin story of the bands he was in. He talks about meeting Reggie and Alex in primary school, and then meeting Bobby in middle school. He explains how they started the band in music class and then continued playing together until Bobby moved away from Los Angeles. The story then lapses into giggles and chuckles about all the things they tried to keep Sunset Curve alive, but terribly failed. 
“But then we met Julie in high school and – the rest is history.” 
We’re clearing up our mess before making our way back towards the car. I love hearing Luke talk, especially about the band. It makes his eyes light up and he gets all bouncy and enthusiastic. It’s the cutest side of Luke I ever did see in the past few days of hanging out with  him.
I take one last look at the lake where tiny dots of humans are floating along on the lake in their tiny boats. There are just a few, so nothing to worry about, but it does make me want to go kayaking too. Mostly because I don’t want the day to end. 
“Wanna go kayaking?” I ask Luke, pulling him to a halt by tugging at our still intertwined hands. His eyes dart from mine to the lake and back. I can tell he’s debating it, but then he nods and a smile appears on his face. 
With our hands intertwined, we go back to the rental place and ask the woman for a double kayak. We pay, put on the safety vests she’s given us and then proceed onto the water. As we pedal along, Luke tells me about all the adventures he’s been on with his friends and how he used to do this all the time before his schedule got so crazy. 
Every now and again, he stops and pretends to tip the kayak, making me squeal each and every time whilst he laughs his most maniacal laugh. 
The wall I’d built around my heart was slowly crumbling. Every laugh, every touch, every glance took away a small part of the brick wall. I’m falling in love with the boy I’d had a crush on and then strongly disliked for a good five-ish days. 
Getting distracted was not a good idea as I’m not prepared for what follows next. Luke pretends to tip it over again, but this time, he wobbles too hard and actually makes the boat topple overhead. I squeal, but quickly shut my mouth as I tumble into the water, making sure not too much of the lake’s contents gets into my body. 
“Patterson!” I scowl as I crash the surface again and find Luke laughing a few feet away. His brown, shaggy hair sticks to his head, dripping small drops of water onto his face. If I wasn’t so angry at him, I would definitely kiss him right here, right now. 
“I hate you!” I splash some water at him as the words roll off my lips. Luke’s laughter abruptly stops and he stares at me. His once glistening eyes dull down while his mouth falters into a frown. 
“You do?” 
My face softens as I watch him. He looks so beautiful with his hair all dishevelled and the reflection of the sun on the water mirroring onto his face. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him so bad. 
I swim closer towards him and stroke his wet hair out of his face. My breath hitches in my throat at how close we are but I try to play it off by keeping my hands on his face and my eyes locked with his. I notice his eyes flicking down to my lips a few times, telling me he wants to kiss me as much as I want to kiss him. 
Should I? Full throttle? Or step on the brakes? 
I don’t even get the time to think about it as Luke presses his lips to mine. Now I don’t hesitate a single moment and immediately kiss him back. Sliding my hands into his wet locks and pressing my body as close as I can, I melt entirely into him. The same sense of bliss I have when singing with Luke washes over me and I find myself on cloud 9 again.  
We pull back after a moment to catch our breath. The glint in his eyes is back and his mouth, though a little swollen and red, curls up into a smile. He presses one more kiss to my nose before helping me towards the shore. We climb out of the water and bring the boat back to the rental place, along with our safety vests. 
Grabbing my backpack I had left with the woman for safekeeping, Luke and I bid our goodbyes and leave the rental, intertwining our hands again. The feeling his hand in mine gives me will never get old. 
As we get to the car again, I yawn, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over me. Luke smiles upon noticing this and takes the keys from my hand. Wordlessly, he presses a kiss to my forehead and then leads me to the passenger side. He opens the door and lets me get in before shutting the door and jogging to the other side. 
The car is filled with a comfortable silence, just the crackling of a song playing on the radio filling out the quietness. I rest my head against the headrest and glance at Luke every now and again as he drives Sabrina. He has that one-hand feel on the steering wheel and the other rest comfortably in mine on the gearshift. 
“I had a lot of fun today,” I mumble, unable to speak any louder. 
A smile etches its way to Luke’s face. “Me too.” He takes a quick glance at me and then lifts our hands to plant a kiss on my knuckles. “Our band’s house is closer, you want to stop there and get us dry before you go home?” 
I hum softly, letting my eyes fall shut for a moment. Luke’s thumb grazing the back of my hand almost lulls me to sleep until he curses before the car comes to a halt. He pulls his hand away from mine and when I look up, the driveway and street in front of the enormous white-brick house is filled with dozens of cars. 
“Fuck, I forgot about the album wrap party,” he grumbles and then looks over at me. I’m shivering from the cold and exhaustion. “I can’t let you drive home like that.” 
I’m unsure if he’s talking to me or pondering out loud, but I shake my head instead. “It’s fine,” I say. “My house isn’t that far away… I think…” 
“No, y/n. I’m not letting you drive home exhausted and cold.” His voice is stern, yet laced with a bit of worry. “You’re gonna come in and I’m– I’m gonna bring you up to my room. You can dry off there and maybe take a nap or something. Yeah! Yeah, that’s it!” He sounds way too excited about something so banal. 
He hops out of the car and quickly jogs over to my side whilst I’m already opening the door. Before I could react, he tugs me towards the house. I can barely get my bearings or take the time to look where I’m going before I’m pulled into a room. 
“There are shirts and joggers in the dresser over there, pick out whichever you like and then take a nap or something. I’ll be back before you know it.” He kisses my cheek and then dashes towards the door. 
“You’re just gonna leave me here?” 
He lets go of the door handle and slowly turns towards me. His eyes are laced with regret as he takes in the sight in front of him. I must look ridiculous with my hair and clothes wet and bags under my eyes. 
“Please, y/n? I can’t have people know about us, okay? I just – can’t…” 
Turning on his heel, he opens the door and leaves me in his bedroom all alone. I take a minute to let the information process in my brain before turning around and taking in the room I’m in. 
The walls are painted white, except for the one wall behind his bed that’s a muted dark blue. His bed is king size and on either side is a nightstand. I inch closer to the one that’s actually filled with stuff, which I’m assuming is the one he uses most. Nightstand contents often tell a lot about a person. His contains the band’s autobiography, “Bruce Springsteen: All The Songs” and “Beach Read” by Emily Henry, the book I started the other week and shared on Instagram Stories. 
Would he have seen that and decided to read it too? 
Shaking the ridiculous thought out of my head, I move over to his dresser and take out a pair of joggers and his Rush muscle tank I’ve seen him in many a time during gigs. I peel my drenched clothes off my body and get into Luke’s freshly washed ones. They smell of his laundry products. It’s a fresh and calming scent.
For a while, I look around his room. The books on the shelves and the pictures on the walls, most of which of the band and some of him and Carrie Wilson. There had been a rumor about him dating the Instagram Influencer, but I’d never believed it until I saw her face pop up in some of the framed photos in his room. 
I decide to go and venture about the house since all the commotion seems to be outside in the garden. I weave through hallway upon hallway, finding more photos and more things that belong to the band. The living room walls are adorned with platinum records and other awards they’d won over the two years they’d been active in the music industry. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride rush over me. That’s my favorite band right there. That’s the boy I’ve fallen in love with. 
“Excuse me – Who are you?” 
The voice makes me jump out of my skin. I thought everyone was outside. When I look up, I find the perfectly flawless face of Carrie Wilson. Her long, blonde hair cascades into curls down her shoulders and back while her round, brown eyes stare at me with intent and curiosity. 
“Oh, sorry. I’m y/n. I–” I stop myself, remembering Luke didn’t want anyone to know about us. That includes his girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend. 
Carrie’s mouth curls up into an amused, curious smile, catching onto what’s happening. “You’re Luke’s new adventure, aren’t you?” I huff out the breath I was holding. It’s a telling huff, I’m sure. “You are…” She trails off and inspects me for a second before continuing. “Just so you know, it’s not going to work. Luke’s too infatuated with this lifestyle of his. He loves his job, he loves his stardom. He loves it too much to ever focus on a partner. Believe me, we tried.” 
I exhale at the use of her past tense, but then all the other information downs on me. Luke’s life is so much different from mine. While I work several jobs to pay for college and still live with my dad, he lives by himself and tours the world. He’s too busy to start anything serious with me. Whatever happened in the last few days was just temporary. 
“You seem sweet, y/n, so I’m going to be frank. Get out before it’s too late. You’re only gonna get hurt if you’re gonna stay.” As she passes me, she places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.  
If my brain wasn’t going a mile a second about everything she’s telling me, I would be caught off guard by how sweet Carrie Wilson is. She’s always portrayed as this complete ego-centric bitch who used people to her advantage. 
The exhaustion taking over, I shuffle back upstairs and sit down on Luke’s bed but when I hear the commotion outside die down and guitar strums float through the air into the house, I grow curious. I get up from the bed and make a beeline towards the ceiling-to-floor glass doors that give out onto a balcony. I carefully open the door and step out, the summer breeze tickling my skin while Luke’s voice reaches my ears. 
The balcony looks out onto the garden, it’s just out of sight from where everyone’s huddled up around the band. I lean my elbows on the bannister and watch on as Luke’s voice floated through the air. 
“I'm no superman I can take your hand And fly you anywhere you wanna go, yeah I can read your mind Like a billboard sign And tell you everything you wanna hear, but I'll be your hero”
I smile at the memory of us in the studio yesterday. The last few days have been perfect. Just… Perfect. And now this girl has to come and ruin it by pulling me back into reality. 
“Cause I, I can be everything you need If you're the one for me, like gravity, I'll be unstoppable I, yeah I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy without his soul But if you're the one for me Then I'll be a hero Oh, I'll be a hero, yeah I'll be a hero”
It’s not that Carrie isn’t right. She is. Luke is way too busy with the band and his fame and everything around it. He doesn’t have time or room between those things for me. Not for an ordinary girl. Not for anyone. 
“So incredible Some kinda miracle That when it's meant to be, I'll become a hero, oh So I'll wait, wait, wait, wait for you”
Luke’s eyes meet mine as he hits that high note and his mouth curls up into that beautiful smile I’ve come to love. Once again, I’ve fallen in love with someone who would never reciprocate those feelings. If I don’t get out now, I’m going to get hurt. 
“Yeah I'll be a hero Cause I, I can be everything you need If you're the one for me, like gravity, I'll be unstoppable I, yeah I believe in destiny I may be an ordinary guy without his soul But if you're the one for me I'll be a hero Yeah, yeah I'll be a hero, yeah I'll be a hero Hero”
As the last notes of his song ring out into the night, I grab my still wet clothes and my keys Luke left on the dresser, and then leave the house. My heart breaks with every step I take, but I know it’s what’s best for me. It’s what’s best for both of us. There’s no room for me in his life. Like he said, he’s no superman, he can’t handle this many things at once. Not even a hero would be able to.  
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Everything taglist:
@wanniiieeee @phantompogues 
JATP taglist:
@hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @bookdealer5 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @hemmingsness @iainttakingshitfromnobody @ifilwtmfc @angryknightstatesmantrash @kiss-themoongoodbye @charliesmountains @thedarkqueenofavalon @calamitykaty @caitsymichelle13 @wiselight @kcd15 @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @stars-soph @kinda-really-lost @notasofti @stellasmusa @n0wornever @kaitieskidmore1 @tefilovesreading @pxperphxntom @crybabyddl @crybabyddl @headheartbellarke @authentic-gillespie @happinessinthedarkesttimes @bright-molina @rangerelik @cordeliascrown @willex-owns-my-heart @fangirlangioma @frickin-bats @flower-name @jaskiers-sweetkiss @jandthephantoms @kelpwithawhy  @the-hufflepuff-hunter @lookingthroughmirrors @buckybarnesishot310 @echocharm17618 @littlemissaddict @mystic-writings @joynerxmercer @brooke0297 @magicalxdaydream @musicianspiritsblog @bexxy @ruvaitkevicius @whitetigerlover17 @stressyanddepressysimp  @talk-on-the-street @theolivekiddo @sunsetcurvej @teti-menchon0604 @candycornmgg @gray_jato
Charlie/Luke taglist: 
@lukeys-giggle​ @gingerxarmy​ @lovesanimals​ @lolychu​ @perfectlywrongformend3s​ @luckylouiebug @camiladelrio98​ @myfriendscallmebeans​ @rachmmb​ @whitemanshoe19​ @killerqueenfan​ 
TAGLIST |  MASTERLIST 
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luvnami · 3 years
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𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 | 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 (here) | 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 | 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 - Second part to ‘Ocean’! Hope you enjoy it :> Reblogs, comments, shares and likes are really appreciated!!
𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @getousuguruwife​ @amjustagirl​ @aliteama​
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - Amnesia, Memory loss, Blood, Mild gore, Death, Blood loss, Corpses, Food, Manga spoilers, Pre-canon and canon compliant to a certain extent, Nightmares, Relationship Issues (lack of communication), Overthinking/Anxious Thoughts, I criticise Nanami’s choice of clothing
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 -  Nanami Kento's life has been... Good, bad, and everything in between. He  (and many others) thinks he's mature, independent, the definition of  what a proper adult should be like. But really, the only way he's made  it this far is because you've been holding his hand the entire time. 
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 5k
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Nanami decides to enter university and get a degree. He casts a life of sorcery behind and turns a blind eye to curses that peer at him curiously on the street. When you text him and ask about how life is in the city of Tokyo, he replies that it would be much better if you were here with him. You choose to ignore the meaning between the lines and tell him that he’ll do great in university; you’re sure of it!
Truth be told, his parents are more than glad to fund Nanami’s ventures and encourage him to do so. As a result, he finds himself engulfed by the world of rigorous studying. Lectures and tutorials drain his time from morning to evening, not to forget project meetings and whatever the hell ‘socialising’ means.
But campus life is invigorating. He wakes up to the smell of coffee and his roommate singing a foreign song with a catchy tune and has time to enjoy a lovely breakfast before he heads off for morning classes. Everything is done in his own time. No one rushes him to save the lives of innocent civilians, nor does the weariness of a day’s fight linger in his bones.
Quietly, gently. That is how Nanami’s time in university goes by. Writing essays on analysing market trends or a project on that sociology elective module he chose is nothing too tricky, especially when one compares it to sorcery. 
He learns to relax, unwinding in the golden hours of the evening with a Murakami paperback and a steaming cup of coffee by his side. Nanami meets new people — people who have never heard what a curse is (though he does find his witchy neighbour intriguing), people who have families at the furthest ends of the earth. Their companionship is refreshing.
You, meanwhile, earn a nice sum from working at Jujutsu Tech. You don’t work directly with curses (something which Nanami is thankful for) and enjoy your time surrounded by nature, treating the younger students with a smile and warm cup of tea. 
You and Nanami decide to move into an apartment where the commute is halfway between both schools. It’s a nice change of pace, really. You wake up next to each other in the blinding morning light, still entangled in the cheap (and slightly scratchy) duvet you got on sale. Nanami presses a kiss between your brows. You smile, your hand warm on his skin. 
“Good morning, Ken,” you croak as the sunlight frames your face.
You lean forward and place your head against his chest. Nanami’s hand strokes your shoulder lovingly as the both of you make small talk on the day’s events, then laughing when he makes a cheesy (and slightly indecent) joke about what he enjoys eating for breakfast. Your heart soars in your chest, catching the upwind and slicing through the clouds. It feels like heaven.
But the sea does not always remain calm and peaceful. Its tides rise and fall with the waxing and waning of the moon, and waves can come crashing down on boats that dare sail through its treacherous waters. 
Nanami buries the constant nightmares of Haibara under his pillow, waking up in the middle of the night with your arms around his waist. He pretends he does not see the curses that linger in the corner of his lecture theatre, nor the ones that stare back in the bathrooms. Nanami slips a pair of spectacles onto the bridge of his nose. His fellow classmates call him intelligent, quiet, but kind. 
He wants to believe that, too.
☆*: .。.
Nanami joins a hedge fund company after graduation. 
“Are you sure that’s what you want to do, Ken?” you ask over the table.
The restaurant you had booked for dinner boasts of its month-long waitlists and seasonal menus. You poke at the raw fish that sits on your plate, Nanami holding a glass of amber liquid. He watches its colour swirl under the dim light.
“The pay is good. We’ll be comfortable.”
“I don’t care about money, Ken. I’d rather you do something less stressful and be happier.”
“Let me try it out for a year or so. That can’t hurt, right?”
He smiles, you smile. 
Your hand slips into his comfortably over the table, and your eyes meet in silent understanding. You squeeze his hand.
The company changes Nanami. Some things are obvious — the way he now parts and combs his hair back with wax, the pressed suits that line your shared wardrobe, the work phone that buzzes with notifications every minute of the day. Others are more… subtle. He comes home later and later each night, occasionally staying over in the office. His alcohol consumption increases. You spend the weekends alone. 
It’s gotten to the point where you’re lucky if you eat dinner with him once a week. You’re busy with your own work, too, but you assume that Nanami would be able to come home on at least the weekends. Your mind begins to drift.
Is there a colleague who wears a skirt too short, a manager who touches his shoulder a second too long? It’s been at least four years since you and Nanami had gotten together, and you still don’t know his stance on marriage or children yet. Does he love you, or does he love his job more? 
You fall into a pit of doubt and despair. Perhaps you should have been a lesser burden on Nanami. He spent so many hours taking care of you back then, wearing himself thin between missions, that the idea of him getting tired of being a caregiver to someone who didn’t remember him at all was… possible; reality, even?
There’s nothing original about you, either. Your handwriting is the same as a girl you’ll never remember from middle school, the way you text influenced by the students you work with. Maybe you laugh too loud. Or you’re too fat, too skinny, too quiet, too noisy, too blunt, too shy, too clumsy. So what made him love you? Or was he just in love with a previous version of you that you weren’t now?
It feels like you’re staring into a mirror when you try to remember who you used to be with childhood journals and photographs. The same face, the same body, memories that don’t make sense and a head that has become a blank canvas. A parent’s child, a teacher’s student. Unable to reach past the glass.
You don’t know who you are anymore with how you’ve changed to please Nanami — a person of personalities that switches in the blink of an eye. So why does he still keep you in his rented heart that’s full of other tenants, and under the contact name ‘Dear ♡’? You place the button in a drawer amongst a mess of spare keys, bits of tissue paper and promotional pamphlets. 
It’s tiring. Nanami’s head is in the clouds as you share a parfait, and you ask him, “Kento, do you really love me?”.
“What?” he asks incredulously. “Of course I do.”
The eyebags that are on his face have been there since two weeks ago. Nanami can’t remember when the last time was when he got a proper night of sleep, and currently, he’s thinking about the new client that-
“Kento,” you interrupt. “You’re exhausted.”
You point your spoon at him for extra emphasis, the tip of it having a dollop of whipped cream. 
“Pointing your utensils around is bad manners.”
“Never knew you cared about table manners.”
“Well, now I do.”
You lick the spoon clean and eye Nanami. He returns a tired stare before his gaze falls to the side and he lets out a sigh. He almost wishes that you would stop bothering him about this and let him go back home. There are so many emails he needs to send, and he can’t sit still without checking the stock market every hour or so. 
“Do you want to break up?”
The words come easier than expected.
“Huh?! What makes you say that?”
“You seem like you want to.”
“You can’t just assume things like-”
The girls sitting by the next table fall quiet. Nanami thinks that they’re eavesdropping on your conversation; you think so too. You glance quickly at them and they pretend nothing had ever happened, hiding their looks of surprise as they shove spoonfuls of dessert into their mouths.
“Let’s go somewhere else.”
You sound irritated. Nanami pays with his card, grabbing his things as you step outside of the cafe first. 
“Slow down,” he mumbles and pockets his wallet. 
You whip around.
“You can’t just assume things like that, Kento.”
“Fine, I’m sorry.”
Staring at him, your eyes seem glazed over. Tired, maybe. Tearing up, maybe. Maybe, maybe. Many maybes. Nanami doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what’s been going on with you, actually. You seem distant, out of reach when you’re lying in the same bed as him. Is it the money; is he making enough to make you happy?
Nanami reaches out and tries to hold your hand (when was the last time he had done that?) when his phone buzzes. He retracts his hand and reaches for his back pocket, but you grab his wrist. He looks at you.
“What are you doing? Let go.”
Irritation laces his voice. 
“Don’t answer that.”
“Are you crazy? It’s from work. I have to.”
“Work this, work that! You spent the last year basically married to your office and the one time we get to go out together, you want to work?”
Your voice is sharp, slicing Nanami’s hazy conscience. He watches as it pools at his feet, a gust of fresh air tickling his skin. He relaxes his wrist and you pull your hand away. Passersby glance at you briefly before continuing their daily commute, not bothering to give you a second glance.
“Sorry,” you mumble.
“It’s okay,” Nanami replies. 
The both of you stand in the street, suddenly feeling as if you’ve drifted away from one other unknowingly. Like a boat in the ocean, Nanami rocks with the waves that splash gently on his hull. Everything is blue and vast around him. He can’t see the land. 
Nanami thinks about that girl at the bakery. The way she always cried out ‘Come back soon!’ every time he left as if he wouldn’t return a second time. And then he thinks about the clients he serves, all outfits and jewellery that easily cost half his salary. They shove money into his hands, expecting even more in return without a word of thanks. 
“Hey,” Nanami says. 
He reaches out across the waters and grasps your hand in his. You look up, eyes brimming with tears. He swipes at the corner of your eye with his thumb. Understanding washes over him and he takes a deep breath. 
“I’m sorry,” Nanami whispers sincerely.
That night, he calls Gojo when you’re safely tucked into bed. Nanami tries to ignore how the older sorcerer cackles at him and hangs up once the call is presumably over on his end. He slips under the covers as you turn over in your sleep, resting against his chest. Nanami kisses your brow. 
He gets his first night of good sleep in a long, long time. 
☆*: .。.
Nanami falls back into the rhythm of sorcery. He trains for a good month until he gets his stamina and strength back, obtaining a new weapon from the school for his missions. Gojo seems oddly delighted to see him return, laughing when Nanami’s out of breath from a workout.
“Ken,” you say, wrinkling your nose when he steps out of your shared bedroom. “You’re going to work in that?” 
Nanami adjusts the cuffs of his sleeves, staring at you. 
“Is this not appropriate?”
You observe him from head to toe. The leopard print tie, blue shirt and tan suit — you resist the urge to tell him he’s so close to looking like a pimp. Out of all the lovely suits that Nanami has, he chooses to wear this one?
“It’s a bit bright, that’s all,” you laugh. 
“I thought I would go with something eccentric. You don’t get to wear this at the office,” he remarks, striding over to the kitchen to grab your packed lunches. 
You remain quiet and fiddle with a loose thread on your own suit jacket. 
“Something the matter?”
“Oh! Nothing at all. Let’s go.”
It’s more convenient now since the both of you work at the same place. Nanami drives to Jujutsu Tech every morning and picks you up in the evenings as well. He detests how Gojo makes fun of him for it, calling him a ‘lovely husband’. It makes your cheeks warm, and you duck your head before Nanami can ask you anything about it.
Peace reigns true for a few months. The morning routine is a nice change of pace compared to Nanami’s previous job. You’re able to spend more time together, even to the point of going grocery shopping or watching a movie with takeout on Friday nights.
Nanami relaxes only a little. Compared to office work, this is probably just as bad. First of all, he has to see Gojo almost every day and have him talk his ear off. Secondly, he returns to being the balance between life and death for civilians once more. It’s not a task he enjoys. However, he harbours that the thanks he receives and the lives he saves are a good enough exchange. 
Years come and go, as do students of Jujutsu Tech. Nanami sees more dead sorcerers and exorcises more curses. You quietly type away at a laptop, filing their deaths and completing any tasks you’re given from the higher-ups. It seems that life has slowed down once more and you return to a monotonous pace. 
You wonder if your relationship with Nanami will progress any further. It’s been close to nine years and yet… nothing has developed beyond living together or the odd weekend date. That’s not to say that you don’t love Nanami. You do, honestly. He treats you well and listens to your occasional nagging to put his stacks of books away, but you want something more. You crave the thought of getting married, to be lawfully his and maybe start a family. But, contrary to belief, Nanami isn’t opposed to it when you bring the topic up over dinner one night.
“Marriage?” 
His chopsticks pick off a portion of grilled salmon and he brings it to his mouth with some rice. He chews, swallowing.
“Yeah. I mean, we’ve been together for so long, you know? So it kind of seems natural for us to do so.”
Your gut twists nervously. The steam from your miso soup rises silently in the air, wisps of white smeared out at the edges. 
“Sure.”
“Huh?”
“Sure, let’s get married.” Nanami says.
You have to physically close your mouth and your eyes are widened in shock. Your heartbeat accelerates that much faster.
“Are you serious?”
“Well, were you serious when you asked me that question?”
Heat rises to your face. 
“As you said, we’ve been together and living under the same roof for quite some time. Marriage seems like a plausible idea.”
“Then let’s-!”
“But I have one condition.”
Momentarily, your heart wavers. Nanami finishes the last drop of miso soup in his bowl and balances his chopsticks on top of the porcelain. As usual, his plate and bowls are scraped clean. 
“I’ll only get married after I stop being a sorcerer.”
Your face twists in confusion as you try to understand where Nanami is coming from. You don’t get it — didn’t being a sorcerer mean that Nanami faced death everyday and that he should be taking advantage of what time he has left? But, of course, you don’t mean to curse him into an early grave like that. Except… Except that your face visibly falls and Nanami takes notice of it.
“I’d rather not have my life entangled with curses more than it should be. Once we both earn enough money and have a nice savings account, we can retire and go do whatever we want. Besides, I’ll invest. It’ll be more than enough.”
You remain silent and stare at your half-finished dinner. Nanami reaches over the table and takes your hand in his. 
“Can you give me some more time, please?”
You don’t reply. 
☆*: .。.
“Did you hear about the new first years?”
“Mm. The one who died, right?”
“Gojo wants me to mentor him for a while.”
Nanami’s hands are positioned on the steering perfectly. His palms guide the car carefully through the steep roads that climb up to Jujutsu Tech. You flip through a checklist of things you need to do for the day.
“Will you be heading out of school?”
“Probably. There’s a scene I need to check out.”
“Stay safe, alright?”
“Of course. You too, don’t forget to have your lunch again.”
Nanami pulls into the parking lot of the school. Leaning over the clutch, he presses a kiss to your hairline. You gently peck his jaw.
“See you tonight. I might not be able to pick you up, so get Nitta to drive you.”
“See you, Ken.”
Nanami watches as you open the car door and step out. You turn back, giving him a wave and smile through the window. He returns the gesture. Once you’re out of sight, Nanami pulls out his phone as he sits in the car. He thumbs through his emails and his Adam’s apple bobs as soon as he sees the confirmation sent to him. A loose sigh worms its way out of his chest. He pushes the door open and steps out. 
The rest of the day is spent teaching Itadori Yuuji about the sanctity of being young and simpleminded. Sorcery isn’t child’s play — especially when there are lives involved. He watches as Itadori’s face crumbles at the mention of the transfigured humans. He wants to comfort him, place a hand on his shoulder and tell him that it isn’t his fault.  
They have a quick debrief of the situation with Ijichi before parting ways. Nanami shoulders his burden once more, watching as the car pulls away in the direction of Yoshino’s home. 
As night falls, Nitta drives you home. She’s chatty, serious about her job and does it well. You smile when she gushes about how lovely Nanami must be at home, and, oh! Do tell him to lighten up at work. 
You thank her when she drops you off. As you walk through the lobby of your apartment complex, you make a routine stop by the mailboxes. Junk, bills and… a box? You flip it over to see who it’s addressed to; perhaps Nanami had ordered something online. However, your name is printed neatly across the label.
The first thing you do when you get home is to open the box. It’s small, probably not more than a hand’s breadth in length. Your pen knife slices through the tape cleanly and when you push aside the flaps, you spot two velvet boxes sitting in a mess of paper filler. Your fingers tremble when you pull one of them out and open it. 
A silver ring sits in the furrow of a cushion with Nanami’s name on the inside. Your heart skips a beat and you reach into the cardboard to pull out the second ring box. This one is a little larger, with your name engraved on the interior side of the band. It must be Nanami’s, then.
It’s already well past 6p.m. as you dial his number with your lower lip between your teeth. You pace around the house, bouncing on the balls of your feet. What were these meant to be? Promise rings? Engagement rings? You hadn’t dared to slip the one with Nanami’s name engraved onto your finger just yet.
“Hello?” 
Nanami’s breathing is laboured. Your heart falls and you stop in the middle of your living room, staring ahead at nothing.
“Ken? Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just… just a little hurt. It’s nothing serious.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve called Ijichi to pick me up, don’t-”
“So it is serious, then!” you cry out in horror. 
“No, no. I said I’m fine. Look, did you receive the rings yet?”
“I did, but that’s not the point now. Are you safe?”
“I-”
You hear Nanami’s phone clatter to the ground and the thump of his body on the floor. 
“Kento?” you whisper.
He doesn’t reply. 
☆*: .。.
You’re seated on the floor of your shared home, an oversized pajama shirt stolen from Nanami’s closet swallowing you. Sunlight pours in through an open window at two in the afternoon and the quiet hum of vehicles outside can be vaguely heard.
Clip, clip, clip.
One hand holds a nail clipper, while the other cradles Nanami’s fingers gently. The blond watches you absentmindedly while you trim his nails. He had insisted he was perfectly capable of doing them on his own, but the glare you gave him made Nanami sink back into the sofa. 
He was hurt after a fight with Mahito — the wound on his side made him grimace whenever he stood up, and Nanami found himself relying on you more than he wished to. Thankfully, he had passed out from blood loss and pain but nothing too devastating had happened. That didn’t change how concerned you were about him, though. You try to forget how you had hailed a taxi just to rush back to Jujutsu Tech to see Nanami lying in the sickbay with a blood drenched shirt. 
Nanami thinks it’s childish. When was the last time someone had clipped his nails for him? Was it his mother? A warm breeze wrings itself through the window. You run the pad of your finger over the cut edge, feeling for any sharp portions. 
Nanami stares at the top of your head. Your fingers feel uncharacteristically soft against his own calloused ones — wielding a weapon in battle wore his palms down at the end of the day. He doesn’t particularly want to admit he likes it.
Nanami is a man of truth. He hates lying, and definitely doesn’t tolerate beating around the bush. But if he spoke as he thought, told you everything he felt about you as often as it came like the wind, how would you react? He clutches his heart in the aching hand of a budding teenager, the fears of facing a cruel world fresh in his mind. 
Being a sorcerer means facing death on a daily basis, especially with the increase in curses with modern times. It doesn’t help that with both of you on the field, it means double the chances. Sorcerers never die without regrets.
Nanami wishes he could love you more, let you explore each crevice of his heart without fear of leaving you; being left behind one day. He doesn’t want to curse you if he dies. He doesn’t want to become a burden to you any more than he should be. 
Clip, clip, clip.
“Is it too short?” 
You glance up briefly at Nanami and brush the hair out of your eyes. He stares down at his fingers and feels them over with his thumb. He shakes his head.
“No, it’s fine.”
You nod and move on to his next hand. You’re systematical about it — trimming off most of the grown parts in three portions, then a couple tinier clips to finish the job off. A nail file sits on the ground beside you, the tiles of the floor cool against your bare legs.
“Hey, Ken?”
“Hmm?”
“I heard that there’s a new bakery opposite that popular department store. I was thinking of going to take a look later. Do you want me to get anything for you?”
“Nothing too sweet would be nice.”
“Okay.”
The living room falls back into a comfortable silence.
Clip, clip, clip.
☆*: .。.
It takes a few more weeks before Nanami is cleared by Ieri to return to regular sorcery work. He tries to rest in the downtime he has, he really does — but the itch to get up and finish Mahito off has him restless. 
At this, Gojo sends Nanami and you off to Hamamatsu on another curse investigation for a change of scenery. Gojo doesn’t want to admit it, but he had mumbled to you something about taking care of Nanami’s mental health. Maybe the beach would help? You told him he sounded like a doctor from the 20th century. You’re not one to refuse a free trip outside of Tokyo, though, so you and Nanami pack your luggage and troop off to Hamamatsu on the Shinkansen. 
“Thank you.”
Nanami’s fingers curl around the ice cream cone handed to him, the sun scorching his back. It’s too hot for this; for anything, really. He makes a mental note to give Gojo a good stare of disapproval once he returns to school. 
Why did the mission have to be on the warmest day of the year? With how the heatwave makes perspiration trickle down your back, though, the dangers of facing a possible special grade curse is the least of your worries right now.
“It’s so hot!” 
You eagerly lap at the soft serve, savouring the cold, sweet treat. Nanami wanted to take a photo of the ice cream, but- oh well, you’ve begun eating, and the horrendous heat would have probably melted it before he found a good angle, anyways. 
Protected by the shade of a shopping district, Nanami and you had agreed to find refuge for a few hours — the curse could wait till the sun began to set. Besides, it would be more likely to turn up after dark. 
“How does yours taste, Ken?” you ask and peer over at his cone.
He had gotten a cookies and cream flavoured one, despite how you egged him on to try out the local eel flavour. Nanami was not going to ruin his taste buds just like that, thank you very much.
“It’s alright,” he says, licking traces of ice cream off of his lips. “Could do with a little more cookie.”
“Wanna try mine?” 
You stick your cone into Nanami’s face. He’s greeted with your half-eaten soft serve, where your tongue has made a path of its own against the original swirl. He eyes you carefully and you offer the cone to him once more.
“That’s unhygienic.”
“Oh, come on, Ken! We’ve kissed before, sharing saliva on ice cream is nothing compared to that.”
Heat rushes to his face, though Nanami assumes a composed facade. He blames it on the weather without hesitation. Not wanting you to tease him anymore, he leans forward and nips a tiny portion of your ice cream off of the tip. 
“Yummy, isn’t it?”
“Mmm.”
“Want to try mine too?” 
The words leave his lips on reflex. Nanami wonders when he’s begun letting you try his food — when he used to be so adamant that no one could even touch its container or look in its direction (thanks to Gojo’s greedy fingers). You nod excitedly and lick off of a portion. 
“It’s good!” 
What was the first time he had said it to you? Over oden in the winter; over those disgustingly sweet slurpees you insisted on from 7 11? All those small moments that had built up culminated in Nanami’s affection and understanding towards you. The way in which you offer him a bite of your food without expecting anything in return; is that what love is like? 
“You’ve got some ice cream on your face,” Nanami says.
You instinctively use your tongue and try to clean it off. “Did I get it?”
Nanami shakes his head. “It’s on this side,” he replies, pointing a spot on his own face.
You try again, to no avail. Nanami sighs.
“What would you do without me?” he asks monotonously, using the pad of his thumb to wipe it off.
You stand there, frozen for a second when he leans in. His promise ring is cold against your cheek.
“Kento?” you whisper. 
Under the light of the shining sun, he presses his lips to yours, shielding you from warm rays and the glances of passersby with his back. You let out a muffled sound of surprise as you taste cookies and cream, your eyes fluttering shut instinctively. 
Nanami isn’t a fan of public affection. God forbid Gojo see him kissing you, really. But as he leans back and watches your half-lidded eyes stare up at him, he asks himself if you’ve ever received his own sort of love in return. 
A relationship’s all about give and take; but has he given as much as he should have? Has Nanami loved you in a way that matters? Life is a fleeting concept to all sorcerers. Should he die and leave you behind, Nanami wonders if he would pass without any regrets. Did he do enough when he tugged the covers over your shoulders when you fell asleep on the sofa, was there more he could have done even after buying you that watch you had eyeballed for the past few months?
There’s that sort of incompetence that curls up in his chest on sleepless nights, even with you tucked into his side. It makes his head spin and his heart fall into a bottomless pit. With all the eyes of juniors and students that look up to him, Nanami can’t help but wonder if he’s truly as good as everyone thinks he is. Being a sorcerer holds little problem. But what about a lover, a husband?
He couldn’t save Haibara, so how dare he think about…
“Kento,” you swallow. “Ken?”
Nanami snaps out of his daze. “Huh?”
“I dropped my ice cream,” you whisper. 
He swivels his head and spots your cone face down on the sidewalk. His own cone drips down his hand, the melting liquid staining the sleeve of his suit. For once, Nanami’s mind runs blank. 
“Kento? Are you okay?” you ask gently.
“Hey,” he murmurs. 
“Mm?”
Nanami’s careful to avoid the pool of melting ice cream as he steps closer to you, lips brushing the shell of your ear. Your breath hitches as his cologne invade your senses.
“I love you. Let’s get married.”
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nightwishesworld · 3 years
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A Better Way
Because I am unhappy with our beloved wife’s death I decided to write my own.
That being said...SPOILERS!!!!!!!! I wrote this based on and referenced canon events in the game. If you wanna skip this and wait for the game’s official release in a few days I completely understand.
Alcina’s form trembles atop the pile of rubble she created during their fall. Somehow that lowlife Ethan survived the fall as well. Fuck, what does it take to kill that man? Even in her monstrous form, she failed to stop a flimsy little mortal man. Is he really that powerful? Or is she simply the weak little rat Mother Miranda always said she was? The answer is obvious now.
Alcina knows this is it for her. There is no winning or even recovering from this. She’s lost way too much blood and is in no state to replenish herself. She hears him stumble to his feet somewhere beside her and grab his gun. It doesn’t bother her anymore. Even now as she turns to stare down the barrel of a shotgun she knows she deserves what’s to come. She failed in her task.
Everyone that depends on her is now in grave danger and it’s all her fault. Because she wasn’t good enough to protect her family from a single human man.
Her family....
Images of her beautiful daughters' lifeless piles of ash lying abandoned on the floor like yesterday’s garbage hurt her more than any weapons could hope to. What kind of mother let her daughters, her own flesh and blood, get slaughtered because she was too incompetent to take care of a little pest? A failure of a mother. Their blood is on her hands, not Ethan’s.
Mother Miranda will have to make the call to Heisenberg to let him know why Ethan is on his way to the factory. And about them. After everything that this woman has done for her and her family and this is how Alcina repays her? How pathetic of her. And her little brother as well. She’s failed everyone she cared about on this god-forsaken earth.
Alcina sighs as Ethan cocks his gun and inches closer and closer to her. After letting out a long exhale she opens her eyes and stared down at him. He’s in shit-shape but he’ll survive. Suddenly that doesn’t sound so bad. If he can finish the job, at least.
“Do it,” she whispers, and her voice cracks. Alcina will not cry in front of this vile creature; she refuses. “I am nothing without the love of my daughters. I’d rather die than live a day without their presence.”
She could have sworn she saw a hint of remorse flash across his bloodied features before he grounded himself once more. He probably didn’t even believe her. Why would he? All he sees is a hideous beast that needs to slain. Not a broken-hearted mother mourning the loss of her darling children. No one has ever seen them for who they really are. Pity.
Her head hangs and she catches a glimpse of his shadow, his arms raising.
“I deserve this,” Alcina thinks to herself.
BANG!
Karl Heisenberg was sitting in his office, legs stretched atop his desk glazing over files. Pretending to work so no one would bother him. He was so lost in his own little fantasy land that the phone ringing next to him nearly started him out of his chair.
He let out a dramatic groan, knowing full well it was Alcina calling to continue their petty argument from earlier. A chuckle escaped his mouth remembering how he told her to drop dead before hanging up.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and begrudgingly brought the phone to his ear.
“Didn’t I tell you earlier to-“
“Heisenberg!” Mother Miranda’s voice spoke. The man nearly choked on air when he heard her voice.
“Miranda! Apologies, I thought it was Alcina calling me.”
Mother Miranda paused, but only for a moment. Her tone was as it always was; calm with a hint of disappointment. “That is what I am calling about, actually. Alcina failed to keep Mr. Winters under control and he escaped. I can only assume he is making his way over to you now.”
“Alcina and the girls, are they-“
“No longer assets we need to be concerned about. The Ceremony will continue on schedule with or without them, is that understood?”
He was completely floored. His beloved, pain in the ass, older sister is dead. And what of his adorable little gremlin nieces? They’re gone too? How can Miranda possibly expect him to just-“
“Is that understood, Heisenberg?”
He cleared his throat and nodded as if she could see him. “Of course, Miranda. The preparation will continue as-“
She hung up.
Heisenberg put the phone down and buried his head in his hands. He didn’t feel anything. Only numbness. The longer he sat there thinking about them the harder to became to think about the stupid ceremony. Or that human parasite on its way to him.
His anger got the best of him and he slammed his fists down on the desk. “To hell with Mother Miranda.”
He called one of his lackeys in and filled them in on the basics of the situation, warning him about Ethan mostly. Heisenberg was to depart for Castle Dimitrescu as soon as possible. Let the lycans have fun with their new incoming chew toy until his return.
The ride up to the castle was ghostly. He expected to hear the girls’ laughter as he entered the main doors as they always do when he visits. They were always happy to see their dear Uncle Heisenberg.
Cassandra’s ash pile was the first to be found. Simply because it was out in the open by the entrance leading down to the basement. It was obviously her because the smell of her lilac perfume was still infused in her ashes. He kneeled beside it and stroked it gently between his fingers, whispering apologies and words of comfort. Both for him and Cassandra. Then he took an old pendant necklace from his pocket and ever so gently, scooped some of her ashes into it.
“There you are, Cass. Safe and sound with me.”
On a hunch he decided to look around the basement before searching the rest of the castle for Bela and Daniela. He already knew where Alcina was resting. Bela was indeed laid in one of the extraction rooms of the basement. She collapsed behind a pillar as if she were trying to hide or shield herself. Heisenberg did the same thing and scooped up her ashes in his necklace, this time kissing the pads of his fingers and laying them on the ash pile.
Daniela was next. She was in the library, literally on the other side of the door. Heisenberg cursed himself for unintentionally spreading her ashes as he opened the door and nearly stepping on the poor girl. He stayed with her longer because of this, whispering a thousand apologies to her. The way she was laid down made Heisenberg think Daniela tried to escape and came really close to doing so.
A few tears streamed down his cheeks as she gathered her ashes in his pendant. That man will pay for what he’s done. For taking such innocent souls from the world that had so much more in store for them.
His beloved sister was last. She wasn’t where he thought she would be, which he found odd, but taking a closer look around it all made sense. The damn burst behind his eyes and he openly cried for the first time in decades.
“Fuck,” he sobbed, soothing his sister’s large heap of ashes. “I didn’t mean literally, Alcina.”
He grabbed a fist full of ash and clutched it to his chest. “I’m so sorry, sister. I should have helped you trapped that rat when he escaped me the first time. But I won’t let that happen again.”
Just like with the girls, he scooped up some of her ashes in the pendant. But this time instead of putting it back around his neck he gave it a few delicate shakes, mixing the four of them together as one.
“There. Now you’ll always be together; in this eternity and the next.”
He stayed there next to her for the rest of the night. They talked for hours (though it was a one-sided conversation) and watched the stars flicker into existence as the sunset. When there were enough of them out he pointed out the various constellations to her. The entire night went on like this; acting as if nothing had changed since they were children.
The sun was just starting to rise over the grassy green hills. Radiant shades of pink and gold colored the sky like never before. It was almost like looking at heaven itself. Early birds sang their song of the morning as they flew swiftly across the sky to wake the rest of the woodland creatures and the residents of the village.
Heisenberg exhaled a shaky breath. “I better be off, Sissy. Miranda will have my head if I don’t deal with that rat before the ceremony. But don’t you worry, I’ll take care of all four of you once this shitstorm has passed. You’ll be given proper burials and everyone will have a chance to say goodbye.”
He could feel the tears starting to build up again. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you or the girls. You’re a royal pain in my ass, but you’re still my big sister and I love you.”
The ride back to the factory was comforting. There was still a heavy weight on his shoulders, but he never expected it to go away. It will only go away after exacting his revenge. When he finds that man, oh boy is he in for a treat. The lycans should have done some damage to him already or at least exhausted him. Ethan is weak now. It’s time to strike back.
No one harms Karl Heisenberg’s family and gets away with it.
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sunjaesol · 4 years
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♡ IT HAD TO BE YOU, WONDERFUL YOU ♡
canon compliant juke valentine’s day fic ♡ for all you sweethearts in the fandom
Before hopeless romantic Julie Molina fell in love with Luke Patterson, she always felt glum on Valentine’s Day. She tortured herself with romcoms leading up to the holiday, went into the “couples goals” tag on Pinterest, pouted when her crushes she never talked to dated other people (read: Nick) and felt all around envious of those having a lover to spend the day with. Her mother dying, she who held the biggest heart of all, also didn’t help her mood.   
But that was before Luke blasted himself into her life. Sure, their romance was a little unorthodox, but predictability was overrated anyway.
They got together last summer, when the band played an amazing gig at a tiki bar on the beach and they were drunk on the heat, pink lemonade and each other’s adoring gazes. Dancing on the beach with him and the boys, Luke had grabbed her in his embrace and whispered lyrics at her she’s never heard before. His fingers grazed her jaw when he said it was a love letter - “For you, Jules.” She didn’t have to go far to reach his lips, both eager and giddy to finally come home.
(Weeks later, the love letter was transposed to music and performed for an audience. It was full circle moment. He loved music and her and now it was all connected. Luke had been dazed, but Julie was quick to kiss the stupor away. They could do that now. It was insane.) 
All week, Julie had been working on a secret gift. She scoured her room was scraps and pictures and notes; reminders of Luke hidden in every corner without realising it. A purple pick was found under her bed, a song in her dream box they never got to finish, a seashell he plucked from the beach, a row of pictures from a photo booth, love notes. Julie would lie if she said she didn’t find it adorable how his only reference of romance were the 80s flicks, as it gave her a heartthrob of a boyfriend that didn’t back down from cute gestures like those notes. It left her heart racing and brought a blush on her cheekbones. the sun’s jealous of that smile jules
It was only natural she made him a collage. 
They had an unspoken agreement to never involve money. Though they were in a band together, all the money they made directly went to Julie. She invested it back in their life passion, obviously, but the fact remained that Luke couldn’t take her on typical dates or buy her the typical gifts. Until American Ghost Dollars got invented, they had to be creative. 
Going to the movies were movie nights in the studio with a projector and cookies they made together. A love song instead of dinner. Dancing in her bedroom with AirPods instead of partying.     
And it was enough. It was more than enough. She loved him so much that each second spend together was perfect as is. 
The collage was small enough that he could easily tuck it away. Pictures overlapped, a dozen Mini Luke’s and Mini Julie’s staring at the camera or each other, from before and after they started dating. 
A photo Flynn took of Luke peppering her temple with kisses backstage. A polaroid of when she snuck up on him and smacked a kiss on his cheek, his teeth flashing white from the beam on his face. A Snapchat of when she showed him the filters and he kissed her instead. Multiple pictures of them snuggling on the studio couch, supposed ‘blackmail’ for Alex, but Julie cherished them. If she closed her eyes, she could feel his arms wrap around her back as she’s sprawled on top of him.
The pretty shell didn’t fit on the collage, so she decided to make a bracelet as well. A thick band made from orange, red and yellow string, the shell as its penchant. 
That morning, she pulled on her most Valentine’s day inspired outfit and rushed to the studio. Her gifts were still in her room, out of sight and kept for later, now she just wanted to see her boyfriend. 
Her smile, painted in cherry lipgloss, stretched wider when she slid the doors open and saw that no one was inside. Just last night had he kissed her a little longer after rehearsal, wiggling his brows like he knew something she didn’t. Luke was terrible at keeping secrets. She wasn’t surprised to find it empty, unless…
Luke poofed in front of her with a warrior cry and hoisted her up in one fluid motion. Julie yelled in delight, gripping onto him as he spun them around. For the occasion, he swapped his regular orange beanie for a red one. (One day, her heart was going to explode from all the silly stuff he did.) Matching her expression, his hands steadied her as she wrapped her legs around his waist.    
An index finger flicked his chin playfully. “How long did it take you to plan this?”
He gasped, faux-offended. “Julie! I’m spontaneous as shit.”
“Mh-hm,” she hummed, leaning in to kiss his lips. His frown melted away, the languid kiss flickering with the hint of passion it usually held. Slowly, he set her down, her staying locked between his arms. When she pulled back, he chased after her and pecked the side of her mouth - once, twice.    
“I’m gonna smother you with so much kisses that you’re gonna get sick of me,” he declared, as if the threat of loving her was scary. 
She pressed her forehead against his with a grin. “I look forward to it.”
Instantly keeping up his promise, he nuzzled against her cheek. “What’d you wanna do?”
“Well, we’re ending the day in the hammock.”
“Duh.”
“And,” she sneakily added, “we can be really cheesy and watch ‘Valentine’s Day’.”
He made a face, both remembering their divided opinion on the movie. “If we’re seeing it again, then I’m choosing all the snacks.”
“Deal.”
“Nice,” he breathed, raising his fist between their torsos so she could bump it with her own. Her cheeks were already aching from smiling so much, giddy to spend the entire day with her boyfriend undisturbed by the boys or family or school. 
Her fingers scratched into his plaid jacket. “You know what I’m also looking forward to?” His eyes narrowed at her lilting voice. “Giving you your present.”
His jaw fell slack. “Jules, now I’m gonna be thinking about it all day.” But then she saw the devilish glint in the green of his irises as he uttered: “Guess you’ll have to wait on your present too.”
“You-” That was unexpected. “You have a present?”
Luke bit down on his lip, watching her surprise. “I was waiting for that reaction. Sweet. Okay, I’m saying we dip everything in chocolate. Fruit, popcorn-”
“I’m willing to try one of those crazy combinations you love so much,” she proposed. The excited smooch she got afterwards was worth it.
The couple claimed the kitchen for an hour as they made their snacks, most of which being the typical chocolate covered strawberries both liked a lot, and then nestled themselves in her room. Curled into his warm body, they shared earphones as they watched ‘Valentine’s Day’. Though she asked to watch it, all her attention went to his hands continuously caressing her waist and thigh. It lulled her into a blissful trance. Sometimes he would make a joke (“We’re way cooler than Taylor and Taylor!”) and she’d chuckle and hum and rub his chest. By the time Jessica Biel was smashing the piñata, she was placing soft kisses on his neck and he had to pause the movie. 
Hovering over her with a wolfish grin, he pecked her nose. “I thought you wanted to watch.”
“And I thought you were going to smother me with kisses,” she bounced back with a quirked brow. For a beat, they shared an amused look. 
Then Luke laughed, diving for her lips and doing just that. That rushing feeling coursed through her veins, a pure shot of adoration and attraction with each warm, open-mouthed kiss. He tasted like chocolate, skin sticky from fruit, and smelled in that perfectly boyish way. Julie sighed into the kiss. No cheesy movie or love song could compete with the sensation of slipping her fingers in his hair and having his arms tighten like he never wanted her to stop. Her bedroom was heaven on earth.   
(Perhaps that was silly. She was only seventeen after all. How much did she actually know about the world to accurately make that statement? But did it even matter if right now, right here, she felt like the luckiest girl in the universe? The cynics could bite her.) 
She didn’t know how long they let their lips and hands wander. It was hard to care about time when his mouth was on her ear and her nails drew shapes on his back. 
“I bet,” he whispered, “Taylor and Taylor never felt like this.”
She giggled. “You’re just jealous of the big teddy bear.”
His smile pressed on her cheek. “Maybe.”
When Luke and her first got together, they were scared to touch. Sure, they had their moment on the beach and previously, they found plenty of opportunities to be in contact. But after they made if official and there was nothing to hide behind anymore, it got scary. They yearned for affection, but what if Luke disappeared one day without meaning to and then they’d both ache for each other’s comfort? They got over it eventually and now it was only natural to feel his smile on her skin.
It was hard to imagine kissing anyone but Luke, unfathomable having a different boy hug her from behind at school and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Only Luke could write her love notes. Only she was allowed to write him ones as well, or leave cute post-it’s on his guitar to cheer him up when he had a bad day. It was just them.
Her mind going haywire over such a simple touch jolted her memory, Julie abruptly sitting up and bringing Luke with her. His brows raised in surprise. She pecked the pout away, brushing her nose against his. 
“Can I give you your present?”
A breathy smile tugged on his cheeks. “Yeah, I’m curious.”
Julie untangled herself from their embrace and reached inside her wardrobe for the gift. Sitting cross-legged in front of him, she gave him his present with barely-concealed anticipation. Hopefully he loved it as much as she loved making it! 
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she sang, watching him pull the tissue paper out the small bag and unearthing the collage and bracelet. 
Speechless, he gawked at the collection of pictures. Eyes flitted past each quickly, like he wasn’t sure what he was seeing. Crawling over to sit beside him, she placed her head on his shoulder. “You like it?”
He sniffled. Julie looked up and was shocked to note his eyes were shiny. “Aw, babe!”
His gaze caught hers, distraught. “You’re not supposed to make me horny and then emotional!”
She laughed and pressed a kiss on his cheek. His cute reaction made her heart lurch with fondness. “It wasn’t supposed to make you cry.”
Luke sighed, hand guiding her face to place a proper kiss on her lips. It was short, but just as electric as all the ones before. He kissed like he played guitar - always intentional and one hundred percent. 
“I love it,” he muttered. “Thank you. And I love the bracelet too.”
“I made sure it matches your others.”
He captured her lips again. “Yeah… Thanks, Jules.” His nose scrunched, arrogance dripping from his voice as he tucked a curl behind her ear. “My present is better though.”
Her arms crossed, challenged. “Oh really?”
“Hell yeah, it is. Gonna knock it out of the park.” With a snap of his finger, he conjured his songbook and stuck the collage between two fresh pages. He clicked his tongue with the typical bravado he exuded onstage. “Who knows, Jules, you might even get a crush on me.”
Just as she was about to retort with a tease of her own, her eyes caught a fluttering page with words she didn’t recognise. Pointing at it, she asked: “What’s that?”
Luke frowned, thumbing to the right side and rolling his eyes. “Some lyrics that got stuck in my head a few nights ago. It doesn’t work though.”
“Maybe not. I kind of like that part.” She tapped on the line ‘so deep, your DNA's being messed with my touch’ with a pensive wrinkle knitted in her forehead. Ideas began to brew, throwaway pieces from other discarded songs coming back to her and meshing well with what he’s already composed. “Yeah, this is good, Luke. Do you want to work on it?”
He hesitated for a beat, stare trailing from her to the half-eaten plate of snacks. “Do you want to?”
“Of course,” she smiled. They were Luke and Julie - did either of them really think they could go a day without music? Even if she hadn’t discovered this diamond in the rough, he’d inevitably spring upright to write down a riff or her fingers would tingle to try out a melody. Songwriting was perhaps the best date of all, showing that work and play could successfully be mixed together. 
He sighed in relief. “Good. Okay, so I was thinking…”
Hours went by tinkering on the song, the afternoon drifting by and them having moved to the hammock in the garden. It was a spot Luke rediscovered and she all too willingly found a place next to him. They cherished the quietude and warmth even before they were dating. The page was now littered with flowing, strung-together verses and a half-done chorus. Instrumentals were for tomorrow when they were all together. In the back of her head lingered the thought that he still hasn’t given his supposed homerun of a present, but Julie reminded herself then that it didn’t even matter. This was enough. He was enough. Who knew, maybe he was just talking smack! The doubts vanished as Luke drummed his fingers on her stomach, humming a beat.      
“And you thought it wouldn’t work!”, she teased. 
He puffed. “Cause it didn’t! It needed the Molina Touch!”
A brow quirked, amused. “The Molina Touch?”
“Yes,” he grinned and tapped her chest. “The Touch.”
“I don’t have the Force, Luke.” When his face fell flat, she decided to play along and mimicked his motion. Her fingers circled his sternum as she said: “Well, I look forward to the Patterson Energy bringing it alive onstage.”
The boy rolled on his side, she following suit. The hammock bended to the movement, pushing them closer together. The couple snickered, noses nudging and locked in the other’s arms. Above, the sky was coloured like Monet, purples and blues and pinks as the sun dropped below the trees. Julie stared at the way he craned his neck, green eyes blown wide while marvelling at the sweeping atmosphere. He was the most beautiful person she’s ever encountered. She was probably a little obsessed with him, never bored of looking at him, of finding new freckles, moles and spots. 
Her reverie snapped like a bubble as he said something. 
“What?”
He repeated himself. “Wanna get waffles?”
She blinked. “Waffles?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged. “V-Day waffles. I bet they have red velvet ones.” His face twisted, like he was in on an inside joke, and murmured against her lips: “Whipped cream, Jules. Can’t resist that.”
Damn. He knew her too well. “Reggie’s going to be mad we went without him.”
“Then he should get himself a ghost lover,” he joked. Slapping her hip, the exclaim was resolute. “Let’s go!”
The drive was short, an surprising amount of waffle places scattered around Los Feliz. The cityscape was painted red for the day. Heart-shaped wreaths adorned the doors of stores, bars promoted special cocktails with pink hues, boutiques displaying date night dresses on mannequins in the windows. At the end of a large strip of food joints, a waffle house joining in with a red banner hung across the frontage. RED VELVET WAFFLES! ONLY TODAY!
Julie shot him a suspicious look. “You knew?”
He shrugged, smirking. “A good guess.”
They were lucky. The parking lot was pretty much abandoned, no onlookers to see her joking around with air. He stayed in the car as she got the treats.
As she queued, her aimless thoughts found Luke as a focal point. It was hard not to. Maybe the best thing of all for a hopeless romantic like her, was that she found someone who was an even bigger dreamer than she was. If she jumped for the stars, he rocketed himself into space and hoped for the best. It made days like Valentine’s special, but it also felt like another regular Saturday. He didn’t kiss her differently, looked at her more intently - it was always like this. The red velvet waffles was just… extra. A cherry on an already perfect milkshake. Luke and Julie never needed fireworks to make the other feel remarkable. 
Dropping back in the driver’s seta with a sigh, she propped the waffles on the dashboard. “I’m not sure if it’s going to taste right, they look kind of mushy, but I’m sure the whipped cream-” The words died in her throat as she looked at Luke, a timid smile on his lips as his present laid flat in his hands. A mixtape. 
Her eyes tracked the CD for a beat (jules <3 written in sharpie with his infamous scrawl) and then flicked up to his face. That was most spectacular of all: the nervous twitch in his eye, the breathy smile. Luke was flustered.       
Gingerly, she took it from his grasp. “How did you make this?”, she whispered. 
The palpable energy didn’t waver. “Carlos. He lend me his computer and explained how to burn CD’s.” His chuckle was awkward. “Had to get you in the car somehow.”
A smile bloomed on her lips. Her heart was truly going to explode; the gesture so thoughtful and sweet. (Shit. He did knock it out of the park. How will his ego cope?!) Reaching over the middle console, she chastely kissed him. “I already love it.”
He shook his head with a grin, shoulders loosening a bit. “You haven’t listened to it yet. C’mon, play it.” He shot her a cocky nod. “You know how to use a CD-player?”
“Very funny,” she quipped. Cautiously, she took the CD out of its case and slipped it into the player. It whirred for a beat, her upping the volume, and just as she thought she’d hear some 90s rock band, something unexpected happened. 
hey jules
She froze, staring at Luke’s feverishly excited face, as his crackling voice came through the speakers.  
i finally learned about technology! you happy? anyway, you know i love you. i love everything about you, i think… i think that’s kinda why i’m here to begin with.
Tears lodged itself in her chest, ready to spill. Love was going to make her go mad one day. She loved this boy so much that it was insurmountable by anything else.
that’s not- it’s not what this cd is about. His tone brightened. what i love most about you, julie molina, is how fucking in love you are with music. so what better thing to give you, is more music? these are ten songs that remind me of you… happy valentine’s day, baby. 
It clicked off. Quietly, slowly, a melodious piano variation flowed in. Her breath hitched as she recognised it. Frank Sinatra’s ‘It Had To Be You’ reminded Luke of her? Her hands were shaking. His calloused ones grabbed them, pads of his fingers caressing the skin. A pout jutted from her lips, her eyes shimmering with emotion. It wasn’t fair. Boys weren’t supposed to be this romantic. 
His smile could light up the entire state, touch trailing across her arm up to her cheek, grazing the lone tear that she wasn’t even aware of. “Don’t cry,” he chuckled. “I can be the only sap.”
Shaking her head, she pushed herself over the console and placed herself on his lap. The divide of a stick shift was a plain crime. Circling her arms around his neck, Julie kissed him in the way she thought the song felt. Warm and languid and timeless and wholly, utterly loving. Depthless and infinite. The thrill of his bass voice melted them together, no space between them with his hands wrapped around her lower back. 
For nobody else gave me a thrill With all your faults, I love you still It had to be you, wonderful you It had to be you
“I love you,” she sighed into his mouth. “It’s not enough. It’s not…”
He kissed the lament away. “I know. That’s why music works.” Sinatra sang a line and then he grinned. “Gotta express ourselves somehow.”
Though that was true, though they had music to shape their thoughts into the most beautiful declarations of love, all she wished to have was a word. A simple word that perfectly encapsulated what she felt. Love felt too small. Too simple. But until she found it, she’d keep saying it.
And so she did. “I love you, Luke.” 
His eyes shut in delight. “I love you too, Julie.”
They wouldn’t leave for a long time. Locked in each other’s loving embrace, they listened to every song on the mixtape. And when it ended, they looped it.
Time and space wasn’t really important to them anyway.     
For nobody else gave me a thrill With all your faults, I love you still It had to be you, wonderful you It had to be you
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
@blush-and-books​ @bluefirewrites​ @ourstarscollided​​ @alexjulies​ @unsaid-emily​ @willexx​
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bluenet13 · 3 years
Text
It’s two sugars, right.
Part 2 of my Tarlos collection of short stories: Carlos and Owen share a moment while they wait for TK to wake up from his coma.
Carlos knows he should have cut his losses long ago. Any smart man would see that TK's been fighting any progress between them since the moment they met, so he should just try to let the man go and stop his treacherous heart from falling in love. It might hurt now, but it will hurt less in the end.
But Carlos Reyes has never been one to follow rationality over emotion, and instead he usually goes all in, with his heart leading the way. So today, Carlos again steps into the hospital's waiting room and sighs, not because of the location itself, but because he hates how it's already starting to feel like home. After all, in the last week he's spent more time here than at his own apartment. Taking in the people sitting in the uncomfortable chairs, Carlos waves sadly before bypassing the room, and all conversation and questions -he knows the 126 crew means well, but the only voice from the firehouse he wants to hear right now belongs to the man still unconscious on the bed, so he goes directly to his room.
Like every morning in the past six days, Carlos closes his eyes just before he enters the room. He's never been a religious man, not like his deeply devout family, but he still remembers many Sundays in church and how he always used to accompany his mama without complaint, and he hopes that has to mean and count for something. So, again, he gives a silent prayer to the heavens, even if it really sounds more like a request, because right now he feels at his limit and he doesn't think he has a lot to offer. But still he asks, God or anyone willing to listen, to please spare TK's life, and not take him away before they have the chance to really figure out what they mean to each other, and what they could be. He thinks it would be something very special, and he needs TK to live so they can at least try.
But as every morning before, his plea is not answered and Carlos steps into the room to an unconscious TK, his father like always sitting on the chair next to the bed. "Morning," Owen says, without even turning back, this moment nothing special and just a repeat of every day that came after TK got shot.
"Good morning, any change?" Carlos asks hopefully, even if he should know better. In their jobs, hoping gets you nowhere, usually it only gives you a broken heart and more things to talk about with your APD-mandated therapist. But hope is everything that Carlos has left, so he clings to it for dear life.
"Nothing," Owen answers sadly, a hand clutching TK's as the other runs through his son's hair.
"Nothing is better than bad news," Carlos tries, a small, sad smile gracing his lips when Owen finally turns back to look at him, but it falls instantly as soon as he takes in the other man's disheveled and tired look. "Have you slept at all, Captain Strand? If you want I can stay with TK tonight and you can go home. Maybe take a shower, eat a warm meal and sleep for a few hours?" Even as the words leave his lips, Carlos can't help but feel that he's overstepping. Not only because Owen is his superior, even if they don't work for the same agency, but even more because he's the father of his… something? Not boyfriend, but also not nothing. Just something in between that still hasn't been given a label. Which only means that he still deeply cares for the man lying on the bed, and as consequence, also for the older man in front of him, and he knows TK wouldn't want his dad's health to suffer because of what happened to him.
Owen shakes his head and brushes off the concern, turning back to look at his son without muttering a single word.
"I'll go get us some coffee, then," Carlos says instead of further pressing the issue, knowing that being proactive is a better approach than arguing with the fire captain, "it's two sugars, right?"
That finally gets Owen's complete attention, and for the first time the man loses all physical contact with his son as he turns to look at Carlos fully, both eyebrows raised in a silent question.
Thinking back to his words, Carlos blushes and his eyes go wide, before his cop brain takes over and he schools his features and tries to calmly say, "TK once told me. And I just happened to remember. Cops, you know, we need to have a good memory to recall faces and case details." His attempt at normalcy would have been good if he wasn't rambling, and Carlos finds himself taking a step backward as Owen's face breaks into a grin. The man hasn't smiled at all in the last week, but this one seems genuine, and even if Carlos fears the words that will come out of the captain's lips, he still feels proud at being the one that put it there.
"Have you been spending nights at my house, Officer Reyes?" Owen asks, and his nose scrunches as he seems to ponder something. "That would explain the good coffee lately. My son is good at many things, and excellent at being a firefighter, but we all know he can't cut it in the kitchen. Not even for coffee."
"I-uh-I-" Carlos' brain is short circuiting and words evaporate as quickly as they come to his overloaded mind, not only because he just outed himself in front of his something's father, but because as soon as the man in question wakes up he's going to be the one ending up dead because TK will surely murder him for the slip up.
"Relax, Carlos. I already knew there was a new important someone in my son's life," at Carlos' questioning look, Owen chuckles before continuing, "not only because of the amazing coffee I now often find in the pot when I wake up, but TK, he's just been smiling more than before, and there's a new bounce to his step, you know? He looks happier than ever in the last year, and probably, just happier than ever, period. I'm just glad it i-" Owen stops abruptly and shakes his head, then turns back to the bed and retakes TK's hand, a few minutes, apparently, the longest the man can go without a physical connection to his boy. "I'm just happy he is happy. That's all."
Carlos has the feeling Owen was about to say something else, something more akin to approving of him as the man making his son happy. And his heart almost bursts at that possibility. If only TK could catch up to his father and also see what's right in front of their eyes. TK already makes him the happiest man on earth -just his smile fills him with warmth, and every look they share starts butterflies in his stomach- and he's not even his to call boyfriend yet. If given the chance Carlos knows he would gladly spend every day and night making sure TK feels as happy in return, and just loving and caring for him as he deserves, even if TK himself doesn't think he's earned it yet.
Lost in his thoughts, the silence stretches for too long and Carlos knows he should say something, reassure the man in some way, or at least thank him. But for now, he feels like he's already revealed enough. So not wanting to embarrass himself any further, or put a bigger target on his back when (not if, but when) TK wakes up, he just nods and turns to the door, but before he can exit the room, he's stopped by Owen's voice.
"And Carlos, yes, it's two sugars. Thank you." This time Owen doesn't turn back around, but Carlos can still sense the smile on his lips, so he smiles too. Both hoping their presence, joined hearts and shared wishes are enough reasons for TK to fight to wake up and breathe and smile again. But for now, both fire captain and police officer take comfort in this moment and the love they feel for the man lying on the bed. Because Carlos would be a fool not to see that he's fallen for TK already.
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