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beansbeware · 3 years

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Beans’ Bagginshield Recs

Here it is! My first rec list eight years since I first started shipping Bagginshield. When this lockdown started (and ended and started again) I found myself re-reading OG/classics and discovering new ones. Sifting through my AO3 history I realized I have read and already forgotten so much fic over the years. For a while, I though the ship had run its course but as we can see now, Bagginshield lives! Check back for updates as I discover (and remember) more fics. Pay attention to the tags and trigger warnings!

I Sang In My Chains Like The Sea by orphan_account for lincesque, IronPanda

In which Bilbo is a Jaeger pilot candidate, and Middle Earth stands on the brink of destruction. (Pacific Rim AU) [Wasn’t sure how this one worked but man it did]

At the Turn of the Year by northerntrash

They say that strange things live in the woods, fair folk and things more spirit than man; don't step between the old oaks, parents mutter to their children, or they might find you, and eat you. Thorin never believed that, but now winter is settling into his bones, the shadows are growing longer through the hoar frost, and he is lost among the trees.

And it was there that Thorin met him, that strange, laughing creature, walking barefoot through the bracken.

Canon-ish

Homeward Bound by perkynurples for 61Below

His life slips away from him on an elven boat carrying him overseas, and there is one last journey Bilbo Baggins must take if he truly means to arrive home.

Sansûkh by determamfidd

The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.

The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).

The Great Shire Conspiracy by Avelera for Emsiecat

Ten years later, Bilbo can't even go to the Green Dragon without a dwarven tourist buying him a beer and sobbing over Bilbo's great tragic love affair with Thorin Oakenshield. Which would all be quite touching and heartbreaking, if not for one little thing...

Dark (generally not a fan but this one made the cut)

Pain-Bearer by lilithiumwords (unfinished)

In an alternate reality, Erebor was never taken by Smaug, and the War of Dwarves and Orcs never happened. The Orcs invaded the Shire, slaughtering hundreds and taking countless more as slaves. Bilbo is slave to Azog, the Dwarf King's mortal enemy... until the Dwarf King rescues him.

Dwarves! in the Shire

Selling to Hobbits by HildyJ

Exiled from his kingdom and living on the mercy of others, Thorin is determined to make his own way in the world for him and his family. And the annual Summer Fair in Hobbiton sounds like the best place to sell enough of his crafted goods to do just that.

Oak and Mistletoe by HildyJ (series)

After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.

Erebor - Nope, Never Fell

A Most Sensible Idea by HildyJ

Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit.

Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship.

After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.

Signs and Meanings by HildyJ

It shouldn't matter to Thorin that the visiting hobbit cook doesn't speak his language. But it does.

Per Aspera by northerntrash

Deep in the dungeons of the Kingdom of Erebor, in an old, unused storeroom, lived a Hobbit.

In which Bilbo Baggins, a strangely successful thief, makes a mistake, and meets a Prince.

Erebor - Rebuilding

Mother-Tongue by northerntrash for HildyJ

Forget-me-not: a small flower, with four petals, which are normally found in shades of blue with a pink or white centre. These are traditional flowers of intent in the Shire, used to express true love, and remembrance.

In which Bilbo plans to leave Erebor, and Thorin tries to understand why.

Previous Engagements by Lunarflare14

After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

That would be tragic.

And I'm Your Lionheart by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo lingers in Erebor while Thorin recovers from his wounds, and soon finds himself caught up in politics, romance, and the occasional kidnapping. Ensemble cast. AU. Eventually Thorin/Bilbo.

Fix-Its (Gawd we need them)

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

though the stars walk backward by baggvinshield, killaidanturner

Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

Over Your Shoulder by northerntrash

The battle is over, and the lost have been counted. There is too much death, too much blood, and in the middle of it sits one small Hobbit, left quite alone but for a body on the ground and the memory of what might have been. But he is a tenacious creature, and if there is one thing that he has learnt, it is not to give up hope.

In which Bilbo Baggins goes on one last journey, and doesn't come back alone.

Historical Setting

The Ghost And Mr Baggins by perkynurples

They say that everything can be cured by saltwater - sweat, tears or the sea. Bilbo Baggins chooses the last option, taking his recently orphaned nephew and moving to the charming Oak Cottage, overlooking England’s grislier shores. The house charms him instantly, and though he knows nothing at all about the sea, or about making ends meet on his own so far from everything he’s known his whole life for that matter, he’s quite determined to stay, and see his nephew get better, odd sounds in the night be damned. He’s living in a modern world, after all, and the nonsense he’s been hearing about the house being haunted by its former owner, the mysterious Captain Durin, is just silly superstition… isn’t it?

Hobbit! Thorin

I've Grown a Hedge Around My Heart by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Thorin Brandybuck, just recently come of age, still lives in his family’s smial in Buckland, with his parents and two younger siblings. Thorin is an odd duck amongst his relations and neighbours-- unsociable, grumpy, shy, and awkward. And beyond that, he looks rather strange even for a Bucklander, strongly favouring the thick, dark haired build of his Stoorish blood.

It defies all sense and reason why Bilbo Baggins, an exemplar of all the respectable traits Thorin lacked, would ever desire a friendship with him.

Bilbo, as Thorin discovers, is not always as sensible as he appears.

Marriage (or something like it)

An Unexpected Proposal by Eareniel

As Bilbo sat smoking in his empty hobbit hole, he couldn’t help but wonder – when did his life become so boring? Or better yet – when did his old life stop being enough?

He suspected the answer to that question lay somewhere around the time when he had refused Thorin Oakenshield’s offer of marriage.

Something Blue by Lapin

Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.

Magical/Super Powers

On Adventures and Other Forms of Conduct Unbecoming of a Wizard by manic_intent for beingevil

For as long as even the old Gaffer could remember there had been a wizard living in the hill at Bag End, overlooking the Shire. As wizards went, this one wasn't the wandering sort, always out to lure gentle folk out onto nasty adventures, or even the powerful kind, the sort that lived in high towers, reaching out into the ways of the world.

Modern Setting

Old Stone, New Fires by northerntrash

Bilbo was not sure what he had expected when he had agreed to supervise the restoration of Erebor House, on the lonely tidal island in the North sea, but it was not this. The winters up here are cold and harsh, and there is a strange feeling on the air, thick with the brine of the sea and secrets to which he is not privy; there is some part of the long and troubled history of the place that has not been spoken of, a shadow between the broken family gravestones and the caves beneath the cliffs, dark and dangerous.

Perhaps it is all in Bilbo’s mind, but as the nights grow longer, he starts to doubt it, and as Thorin sinks ever deeper into black and incalculable moods, he will have to find what has been lost, before it takes them all.

For This by northerntrash

Thorin Durin had lived in his new flat for approximately eighty four minutes when things started to go terribly, terribly wrong. The wrongness came in the form of a package, delivered to his door, wrapped in brown paper and string, with a small tag wishing him a very sincere welcome to the building.

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

If There Were Water by stickman

Bilbo Baggins might be in over his head. He’s purchased an old stone house atop a hill overlooking a city he doesn’t know, and plans to live quietly, largely ignoring the rest of the world. But it’s early April, the rainy season, and the roof leaks, and there's something strange about Bywater House that he can't quite figure out.

Thorin Oakenshield is in his fourth month of trying to reconcile his own grief with his failures at anything remotely resembling a competent single parent, living out of a shoebox flat with Fíli (seven, sullen, and stubborn as hell) and Kíli (five, resilient but cracking), working crap jobs and hating everything including himself.

Under the cover of rainy afternoons and sleepless nights, roof repairs and building restoration, Bilbo and Thorin try to figure out how one navigates isolation, and how one breaks out of it. Every step they manage to take forward finds them dragged back again; every question asked has too many answers, or too few. This is a story about living in a world where everyone is on their own, always, and how things go on.

How the West Was Won and Where It Got Us by stickman

Bilbo is a harried 1st year British literature Ph.D. (early 20th century fiction) who happens to have an interest in spatial narrative structures, a lack of time-management skills, and a tiny apartment with a lot of books and very little furniture. He’s stressed, always, and doesn't quite know where he belongs. He tells himself that really, this is, in fact, what he wants to be doing. But sometimes, as much as he loves books, he gets an urge to do something with his hands.

Thorin is a disgruntled M.Arch. 1 in his last year who can’t be arsed to shave and frightens his students, and, frankly, his profs, but his work is top-notch so no one can really say much. They can, however, bully him into running a hands-on design workshop on Saturday mornings, which is complete crap, because he’s used to drinking his Friday nights into oblivion so showing up at Milstein at 7:45 the next morning and trying to teach in a room of wall-to-wall windows as the sun rises is not at the top of his list. Besides, no one ever shows up.

Except one morning, someone does.

The Boy You Met (At The Coin Laundry) by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo accidentally spends a summer in Ireland. One rainy day, Thorin appears in the hotel laundry room, naked and dripping wet and about to propose. (But not, unfortunately, to Bilbo.)

Gandalf, Thranduil, and a handful of Spanish footballers all guest-star.

Hooked On You by Chamelaucium

Thorin should have learnt not to trust his brother and sister by now.

Come with us on holiday, they’d said. It’ll be fun, they’d said. A nice break from work.

Yeah right. All this holiday had brought him was being knocked around the head, acute hay-fever, and the biggest, most ridiculous crush ever on the cute, golden-haired fishing instructor.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

“One”/Soulmates

you lick your lips (you taste like years of being alone) by perkynurples for stopchasingflowers

Thorin Oakenshield was born without the longing, and has spent his whole life merely observing others as they pursued a feeling unknown to him until they finally found their One. He has made his peace with the prospect of being alone, and has been faring well enough, but little does he know the fates have a different story in store for him.

Things We Grow Together by serenbach

Dwarves are born with a bone-deep knowledge of their One, but Thorin stops feeling the pull of his after the dragon attacks Erebor. Needless to say, he is surprised, and not initially pleased, to find his One living behind a round green door decades later.

Hobbits find a seed that represents their innermost self and can offer it to someone else to plant. This creates a bond as strong as deep roots in the earth between them. It is just like Bilbo, after years of thinking that no one would want his, to offer his soul-seed to a dwarf that does not understand gardening metaphors.

But just because they have found each other does not make the quest to reclaim Erebor any easier, and in the end a sacrifice is still made.

Thorin has to trust in the strength of the bond between himself and his One, because otherwise he will never believe that the sacrifice was worth it.

Colour-struck by northerntrash

Soul mates are like adventures, Bilbo had often consoled himself. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things that made you late for dinner. It was no great hardship that he had never met his, even if he couldn't tell which of his petunias were blue and which were purple.

Quest-ions

Discovering Mr Baggins by Eareniel

The story of a Hobbit, told through the eyes of the dwarves.

Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary by Fruitsie

Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain and Totally Majestic Badass of Middle Earth, does not have a raging hard-on for Bilbo Baggins.

No, seriously.

Just read his diary.

Call You Home by northerntrash

In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.

Time Travel (because walking Middle Earth is not enough)

Of an Arcane Binding by Salvia_G

An inexplicable magic ties Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, to Thorin, dwarven prince of Erebor

#bagginshield #thorin x bilbo #the hobbit #fic rec #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield

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joisbishmyoga · 4 years

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A friend has convinced me that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril.

- glowing rock

- similar sizes probably. fit on giant evil crowns and in hobbit pockets alike.

- ppl went war-crazy over them

- one of them was lost to a fiery pit

- a lone mountain is very likely to be a former volcano

- Middle-Earth's timeline is stupid in a geological sense anyway so SURE there's plenty of time between the First and Third Ages for a volcano to die and get turned into a dwarven city-state why the heck not ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ)

This lends itself to a particular logical progression:

- the dwarven lords swore their obedience to the rock, not the line of Durin, after it was found

- this is why they could refuse to go with Thorin to retake Erebor

- this is also why it was so damn important for Thorin to get the Arkenstone specifically ASAP, instead of "eh we'll find it eventually while we're sorting through the treasury"

- they didn't originally intend to slay the dragon as a group of 14, they meant to get the Arkenstone, go back, and command all the dwarves to come attack Smaug

- ANYWAY a key feature of a silmaril is that it burns anyone who doesn't have the right to possess it

- so when Bilbo is like "here's the Arkenstone", Thranduil is like "what the fUCK that is a SILMARIL Gandalf WHAT" and Gandalf is like "WHAT THE FUCVK i mean MY AREN'T HOBBITS INTERESTING LITTLE FELLOWS what the fuck what the fuck"

- and then Thranduil is like "well it isn't burning him so that makes him the rightful owner"

- and then someone, probably one of the dwarves, it would be kind of hilarious if it was Fili or Kili but it could also be Nori (very savvy), Ori (a scribe) or... I think it was Balin who was responsible for teaching the princes things like history idk, ANYWAY one of the dwarves is like "wait doesn't that make Bilbo King of the Dwarves?"

- Thorin is shocked out of his gold madness by the fact that actually no he isn't King Under the Mountain

- "Maybe you can be Consort Under the Mountain if you apologize nicely enough."

- "... Apologizing nicely? Uncle Thorin?"

- "Good point. I guess we'll never be princes again, Kili."

And so Bilbo fixes everything with hobbity practicality and also offends tf out of Thranduil and Gandalf and the dwarves without them being able to do anything about it.

- The dwarves love that Bilbo told Thranduil, very loudly, in front of the entire elven army, that he can fuck right off though his elves are welcome to return to sell food, and he will get his stupid starlight pebbles AFTER all the ACTUAL priorities of feeding and housing everyone, and going through Erebor to assess the city's structural integrity, and washing and uncursing the hoard, and actually sorting through it for Laketown's money and paying the food merchants and dividing heirlooms from liquid assets and etc etc etc have been addressed. And every time Thranduil behaves like a sulky fauntling, his stupid rocks go down one slot on the very. very. long list of priorities.

- (The dwarves are much less pleased to have all the wealth of Erebor called "rocks" and "pebbles" and "mathoms".)

- so get this army off my doorstep NOW Thranduil, or do we have to send missives to all of Middle-Earth that you are an oathbreaker as should've been done a century ago.

- You know. When you broke your treaty of mutual aid to the kings of Erebor. And left thousands of innocent, traumatized survivors to starve to death. It's one thing to refuse to enter a lost battle. It's something entirely different to refuse to help the refugees. Children starved, Thranduil. CHILDREN.

- p.s. You have no idea how badly you, and by extension all of Mirkwood, have offended all of Bilbo's hobbity morals here, Thranduil.

- if Bilbo was even the slightest bit more vindictive, Thranduil would have to abdicate and Legolas would have to rebuild all of Mirkwood's diplomatic ties with a severe handicap. Oathbreaker is a SERIOUS THREAT given what we've seen of Middle Earth societies.

- so considering the Arkenstone just got revealed as a Silmaril, putting that memory right at the top of everyone's minds, there should be PLENTY of elves either old enough or educated enough right there to make the connection between "bloody war over the silmaril rocks" and "bloody war over the starlight rocks" and want NOTHING to do with it tyvm

- Bilbo like "we will NOT be housing anybody in the mountain but the original Company before we've inspected each space for structural safety, no even we aren't just wandering around the mountain willy-nilly, the dragon broke a lot of stuff and a big enough rock fall will break even a dwarf's thick head"

- Bilbo also like "for valar's sake, Bard, take your mob home, set them to salvaging what you can of Laketown and Dale, send messengers to your trading partners that there's a lack of food and enough money to pay for it up here, and bring the salvage up so we can build you all shelters for the winter"

- Bilbo like yes OBVIOUSLY i'm going to feed and house you all, how dare you have to ask

- Bilbo setting Gandalf to breaking rocks on the lee side of the mountain so they need less salvage to build with, oh I'm sorry did you want to help shovel dragon dung instead, ah yes that's what I thought

- idk what this does for the orc army but that's not the point

Bilbo: Seriously, Thranduil, what do you care if it takes another century or two to get some pretty rocks. You're an ELF. You're already fifty thousand years old or something ridiculous like that. Bilbo: You basically let thousands die and went to war over the equivalent of a one-month delay in shipping.

Now, if he'd had ANY sense, instead of being a Karen... Thror: Nope I'm keeping them MINE ALL MINE ALL THE GOLD IS MINE Thranduil: . . . Thranduil: Eh, you'll die off soon enough. I'll just call your descendents until one is sane enough to honor the contract.

Thranduil: We elves have songs longer than this shipping delay. Thranduil: I think I'll go listen to one.

But that did not happen! Instead it was more

Legolas like "dad could u stop being so horrible u are embarrassing our entire family"

Legolas like "dad stop screaming at the teenage cashier over your 25 cent coupon"

Thranduil: I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER

Fili and Kili: ooooh, he wants to speak to the manager~ Bilbo: I AM THE MANAGER

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thetradeway · 3 years

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Session 51 Sep 18 2021: “No! Get out of my orifices!”

Right - where were we? Oh yes, we fought some piranha and found some chests and some Duergar statues. We fill Mina in on what she missed; she offers to craft Gideon a new finger.

“No… No, I don’t want your goblin crafts on my body!”

Then there’s some waffle about covid deniers. (Ed believes covid is real; Gideon does not.)

Who wants control of the urine-drenched sorcerer? Sophie, OOC: “You make it sound so appealing.”

She agrees to take Ahleqs, if Matthew will help her out.

Now, when I put a message on the group chat earlier to ask if we were starting at the usual time tonight, our illustrious DM messaged back to say ‘Yep yep yep thumbs up emoji smiley face emoji’ which was far too enthusiastic. We are all now very wary. Ardvack slams a potion before we get started.

Right, where were we going? There is still a strange magical island with a wall around it to explore. There is a boat that leads to it; Gideon advances to Investigate. It looks old but in good shape and water-tight. There are oars. He thinks three will fit in it; he volunteers as do Tarragon and Melaina. Gideon, sternly: “No pilfering, rogue.”

Tarragon rows us across. Do the others want her to go back and pick them up? Apparently not.

Gideon investigates the magical barrier, which is blocking the door, but rolls a nat 1. We make Perception checks - the giant statue of the dwarves god of crafts has an offering bowl at his feet, with something written in Dwarvish. Gideon would read it, but Ed’s buggered off.

“You cannot enter this room.”

Tarragon decides to take this as a challenge. She takes out a gold piece and puts it in the offering bowl; nothing happens so she takes it back out. Gideon covers the ‘not’ part of the carving so it reads 'you can enter this room', but that doesn’t seem to help either.

Tarragon looks at the magical wall. It’s blue, and looks a similar colour to the brazier in the other room. Could we light a torch from the brazier and try waving that at the wall? Maybe. In the meantime Gideon puts some food in the bowl; nothing doing.

Ardvack, shouting across the water: “Have you tried blood?”

Gideon squeezes some blood from his severed finger stump - still nothing. Tarragon rows the boat back to get Kessler, who has hopefully been lighting one of her torches. She has not been able to light her torch from the brazier, however; it won't catch.

Is the bowl loose? Could we pick it up? No, it’s attached to the floor. Could Kessler pick up the brazier? It won’t move either. Time for stupid ideas.

“Hey Carl,” shouts Kessler pointing at the brazier, “put your hand in that.” Carl does not. Kessler gets just such a doggy look from Ardvack; she laughingly tells him she can’t tell because he has no face. Instead he leans down and says snottily, “Carl is precious.” He investigates the brazier. Can he feel warmth coming off it? Nat 20.

There is no heat coming off it. It does create light, but there is no noise. It is not consuming anything physical. He doesn’t think it’s evil or necessarily good; it’s just a spiritual fire. Ahleqs does an Arcana check. It’s some kind of divine magic; he is fairly certain it could be extinguished with a high enough levelled Dispel Magic spell.

Ardvack puts his hand in the brazier; it doesn’t burn him. He puts his whole head in. He’s a bit light-blinded afterward for a minute or so, but is otherwise unharmed.

Tarragon has Dispel Magic, but doesn’t have it prepared. What about Ahleqs? He doesn’t have the spell at all.

Gideon wants to rest his battle-axe on the offering bowl; he does that, but nothing happens. He rescinds the axe. Perhaps crafts, considering the nature of the god? Perhaps something he’s made?

Ahleqs has Ardvack’s leather face mask at the moment; since that was made by Kessler, perhaps we could try that.

Melaina is Investigating the door behind the wall of force. She can see beyond it to a ruined dock. If she puts her hands out to the wall of force, she can feel it though it doesn’t harm her. Would putting the brazier out remove the wall? She rolls a low Insight check and doesn’t know. Gideon rolls a low Religion check as well; he doesn’t know either.

“Alright Goblin, you’re up. Do your thing,” says Gideon. She puts Ardvack's mask in the bowl, but still nothing happens.

DM offers a clue if we roll good on Insight; Ardvack, Melaina and Gideon all do. They think the inscription refers to the desired offering. Gideon wants to put something in the bowl that would not fit in the door.

What about a fish? They breathe air, and so could not pass anywhere above the water. Tarragon steps into the bowl and Wild Shapes into a fish; still nothing happens. She changes back. Is this one of those children’s riddles that we should have definitely got by now? Joe says we will absolutely kick ourselves when we get it.

Ardvack picks a handful of mushrooms - and that bloody well works. You cannot enter this ‘room. Goddammit. Joe removes the wall. If Ardvack had a face, he’d be looking smug.

We go through. Goblin shield goes first. She sees something horrible - it is currently standing motionless. It looks like a huge dwarf in heavy armour, but made of stone, and there is a faint red glow emanating from its chest. There is an open chest next to it full of shiny shinies; Kessler points them out to Melaina, possibly in hopes that she will go first. Melaina, sadly for Kessler, does not fall for this trick.

Ardvack ventures too close and it spots him - initiative time. (Ed has disappeared again. While we wait, we discuss Matthew’s zombie campaign. We will all be level 2 when we return, which gives us an ability called Zombie Grab. Matthew and Sophie order pizza.)

Tarragon Potions and readies a Thorn Whip (which always reminds Sophie of a Walnut Whip. Not the Ann Summers sort of whip, Joe asks? No, but interesting that his mind went there.) Melaina hides and shoots - 24 hits, for 22 damage. Her bow is magical, correct? Yes. Good. Okay. Bits of rock fall off the golem. Hooray!

Does she want to move, say, to run away? (Oh shit.) She moves back so everyone else can get in.

Kessler takes aim with her crossbow. 24 hits for 7 damage, and her weapon is magical as well. She reloads and shoots again for 7 more damage while Matthew and Sophie decide what Ahleqs is going to do.

They decide that he will cast Shatter on the golem. Ba-boom! It has to make a Constitution save - at Disadvantage. “Because you’re made of stone. Like an idiot.” But it gets Advantage on saves versus magic, so that’s just a straight roll. 13. “Ha! You lose!” It takes 19 Thunder damage. Ahleqs cheers, then hides behind Tarragon.

It rushes at us - Tarragon looses her Thorn Whip but misses.

Carl uses his big stick that Tarragon gave him, but misses, almost hitting everyone else around him. He was excited. He doesn’t move, but holds the line.

Gideon is up. “Ed stop eating sausages!”

“… How did you know what I was doing.”

He Acid Splashes it. The Golem fails the save, even with Advantage, and takes 9 Acid Damage.

Like the hero he has proved himself to be, Ardvack does a cautious tactical repositioning to get away from the golem, does Shksdjlsdglsghjkhhbllhh, and then casts Eldritch Blast. It hits, and more stone crumbles off the golem.

Tarragon does Greater Shlgljksdkgjfhl;jjjhh, just to flex on Ardvack, and hits it for 11 Bludgeoning. She bares her teeth at the golem.

Melaina falls back a little, and shoots again. Matthew and Sophie suddenly seem unable to hear the rest of us, so there is a short recess while we sort that out. Their wifi has died. I decide, in my infinite wisdom, to restart my computer; of course, it decides to install something without even asking and so I am still waiting for it long after Matthew and Sophie return. I miss a bunch of stuff; some people do some damage, and the golem does a thing where it forces a Wisdom save - those that fail have their speed halved, and can do an action OR a bonus action on their turn, but not both. Joe makes an attack for me, which hits. Tarragon is pleased. And then I’m back!

The golem is looking ropey. Its light is still glowing, but bits are falling off it. It turns on Carl, even though Kessler has imposed Disadvantage on it if it attacks anyone but her. 14 still hits, as does 29, and he takes THIRTY NINE damage. Carl is now on zero, having had exactly 39 HP previously.

Matthew, sounding worried: “This changes things.”

Carl makes a real death save - and fails. "No! Carl!"

Gideon's turn - and Ed has snuck off again. Or fallen asleep. We skip him for now and move on to Ardvack. “I’ll save you Carl!” Then, to himself as he runs, “Not my precious Carl…” He casts Life Transference. (A lovely, sacred, holy Cleric spell.) He saves Carl, but instantly regrets walking closer to the golem.

Tarragon batters it for 16 damage - the light begins to flicker and sputter in its chest. Does she want to move? “Nope!” She could bonus action dive in the water with the Quippers if she wanted? “… No thank you.”

Melaina does a Scorching Ray - one of the three hits for 7 fire damage total. It’s looking ‘exceedingly ropey’ but is still up.

Kessler gets the how-de-do-dis with her Thunder Gauntlets - she runs up it and yells “Red means stop!” and punches it in the chest. It falls to the ground in a big pile of rubble. We solved Joe’s Golem puzzle!

Matthew, immediately: “Loot its corpse!”

Kessler is holding the gem from its chest; it is no longer glowing. Ardvack sets about the treasure chest. It is open, and there is gold inside. He clicks on the loot chest, and adds 100gp to the 3000cp he finds. (428 cp, and 14gp each.)

Kessler: “Anyone got a Transmute spell?” (That's a lot of coins.)

Ardvack shares out the treasure as equally as possible. Kessler finds herself overburdened. Melaina slyly: “I could carry your treasure for you.”

Kessler: “No thank you.”

Where to next? There was a rope bridge in the room with the brazier that led to an island with a dead giant spider on it; Joe zips us all there for expediency.

Melaina crosses the bridge to approach the ‘very very dead’ spider; it looks like its moving around. Not the legs, but as if there’s something moving under the skin…

A swarm of maggots burst out of the spider, taking her by surprise. They swarm up her legs and over her flesh.

Melaina, equally horrified and furious: “No! Get out of my orifices!”

(This is why Joe was so pleased earlier isn’t it.)

She now has two rot grubs burrowing under her skin. We’ve all heard of these, the subject of adventurer’s tales swapped in taverns. Melaina knows she has to burn them while they’re still just under her skin, or they will burrow to her heart and kill her.

Well shit.

We roll initiative…

Ardvack fails at Eldritch Blast, and the grubs become resistant to that type of damage (Force I think?) for 1d4 rounds. (4. Fuck.)

Ahleqs does a Burning Hands at them. They fail the save and take 6 fire damage. Several screech, and curl up and burn.

Melaina wants to cast Scorching Ray on herself - she can do that. She takes two fire damage, and the grubs die. She can spend the rest of her action to squeeze them back out of the holes they burrowed in through. Delightful.

Tarragon moves to the side and Thunderwaves the swarm - they fail the save and are pushed off the bridge into the water to be eaten by the Quippers. Yay! Everyone wins! We move forward, Melaina at the head.

DM suddenly: “Stop there, Melaina!”

Us immediately: “Oh no!”

She finds a door with a shape carved in it - the gem that Kessler took from the golem looks like it would fit in there. That is not relevant right now, however, as she has charged forward and tripped a trip wire. She fails her Dex save and a giant ballista bolt sticks her for 14 damage. Could have been a lot worse. She decides she’s not doing anything else, even when tempted with a treasure chest; she goes to sit in a corner and sulk.

The treasure chest is on a different island, reachable only via a broken bridge. Kessler suggests throwing the dead spider into the water to distract the Quippers while we jump across.

Do we want to take a short rest first? Yes. Tarragon makes up some Relaxing Bark, allowing everyone to regain a couple of Hit Dice which we roll, and take potions. Ardvack casts Life Transference on Carl again.

We are about to move on when the DM has us all roll a d20. Uh oh. Anyone who got ten or more can get five more HP back, as we burned incense in a temple. Yay!

Matthew, grumbling: “Oh as soon as we get a long rest, you can bet I’m going to be re-summoning Admiral Pancakes…”

Do we want to jump the bridge after the treasure? Is it worth it? Melaina wants to; the rest of us are dubious. How far can she jump with a run-up? Ten feet. She could jump it.

“Alright then, I’ll do it. Whoosh.” Kessler follows her.

Melaina checks for traps - an 8. She can’t see any! Sophie, OOC, resignedly: “Oh, right, okay.”

She checks the chest itself and finds a trap mechanism - some nozzles sticking out of the ground next to the chest. She makes a roll with her thieves tools, and by the skin of her teeth (13) disarms it. It would have been bad; one nozzle would have squirted her with flammable liquid and the other would have set her on fire. She finds a Brooch of Shielding! There is another item, a ring, which seems magical; Kessler takes eleven minutes and casts Identify as a ritual. It’s a ring of Swimming!

Melaina gives the brooch to Ahleqs, as he would almost certainly appreciate anything that would give him some extra protection. We decide to crack on, as it would take another hour for him to attune to it. Besides, the longer we’re down here the more this place sucks so we’re all eager to leave.

Kessler puts the gemstone into the hole in the door and it creaks open; we walk through. We enter some tunnels, which are very claustrophobic after the caverns. It’s very dark. We follow them until we come out into another large cavernous room.

We jump to another map…

There are more islands with about ten foot tall towers with glowing orbs at the top. More water, and a broken stone bridge. (Is anyone reminded of Beverly?)

The bad news is, this room has glowing orb lights, a broken bridge, and more islands. The good news is, it seems quiet enough that we could take a long rest.

Kessler does her Alarm spell, and Carl - not needing to sleep - takes all the watches. We all take turns to watch with him as “his Perception is for shit.”

Kessler takes first, Tarragon takes second, and Melaina third.

Carl and Kessler make Perception checks. A 3 and a 6; oh dear. Kessler thinks she hears water noises, but it could be just the water on the shore.

Then Tarragon and Carl. 13 for Tarragon and a 16 for Carl. We watch some bats flitting about in the light from the strange tower; nothing dangerous, however. Everyone but Tarragon now completes their long rest. She retires, and Melaina and Carl roll Perception.

Carl is on fire tonight; a 17. He makes an Intelligence check - a 9. That’s actually not bad. After about 3 hours he becomes agitated and tries to say something, but can’t. Melaina’s nostrils are assailed with a foul stench; she looks to the water to see something breaking the surface of it. Which means that whatever it is doesn’t get a surprise round…

Melaina and Carl roll initiative. Carl has used all his good rolls on Perceiving. But he’s ready for anything; he’s got his stick.

Whatever is crawling out of the water looks like a troll, but dripping with horrible ichorous black ooze and smelling like a busy harbour at low tide.

Matthew, OOC: “They smell like a bonfire of nappies. No - a burning zoo.”

Melaina hides behind some mushrooms; triggering Kessler’s Alarm spell as she leaves the area (because Kessler didn’t specify otherwise). We all wake, and can roll Initiative next round. Melaina takes aim with her longbow. 19 to hit with Sharpshooter, which does. She gets a nat 1 for her Sneak/Sharpshooter which is only a measly 25 total, plus her bow’s damage of 9 for 34. The thing lets out a howl, which would have woken us if the Alarm spell hadn’t.

It approaches us. It’s wearing a loincloth; small mercies.

Everyone but Ardvack and Melaina makes CON saves as the troll runs a filthy claw down its own forearm for a venom spray attack. Gideon and Tarragon take 18 poison damage and are poisoned. The others take half damage and are not poisoned. Now it does its multi-attack.

It has a bite at Tarragon but misses, then a claw at Kessler and misses. Then it claws at Gideon, and misses again. Ha!

Another one shambles up, but doesn’t attack yet. It’s Carl’s turn; he uses his zombie agility to run up to one of the trolls and give it a good old Slam - “Classic Slam - ” and uses his Zombie Grab to try and grapple it. They make contested STR checks - Carl wins even with a 14. The bad news is that part of the troll’s corpulence is ruptured, emitting a black foul ichor into the air - Tarragon and Kessler take more damage as it, however unintentionally, does an Acid Splash.

“… Thanks Carl.”

Melaina goes first. She goes to move but takes 15 Force damage from the towers. What??? Sophie OOC, to Matthew: “Honey, I’m being shot by the nasty tower.” She was just inside its range. She shoots one of the trolls. She hits, and causes another Acid Splash. Tarragon has just woken up from a Long Rest, and is now under half HP. Melaina does do 34 damage to the troll though.

Gideon, with advice from Matthew, casts Grease under the troll that Carl is *not* grappling. This seems a classic ‘Grease’ situation. It rolls a DEX save, and fails, falling prone.

Tarragon casts Lesser Restoration on herself, ending the Poisoned effect, Rages, and steps out of range of the Venom spray.

Ahleqs screams the incantation for Mage Armour, and steps back also. Kessler’s turn, and she will risk stepping back. One is restrained and the other prone, so no attack of Opportunity. She takes out her crossbow and shoots at the one grappled by Carl. 20 hits for 11 piercing damage. “And I will shoot that sucker again.” 17 also hits for 7 damage. She drinks one of her potions; wise.

Carl takes 18 poison from Kessler’s attacks on the troll, but he’s immune to poison. Carl has the Grappler feat, so even though the troll is a size larger than him it doesn’t get Advantage on the Strength check to free itself. They roll straight Strength checks - Carl rolls a ten, and the troll rolls a 6, even with a plus four modifier.

The prone one uses half its movement to stand up and moves forward, biting at Kessler - 26 to hit. It actually hits her! Even Shield won’t do it! She takes 6 piercing and 6 poison damage, and is poisoned until the start of the troll’s next turn.

It claws twice at Tarragon; “Bring it.”

24 hits, the ten doesn’t. Ten slashing (halved to 5) and 6 poison (not halved). She’s at 19HP now, and hasn't even attacked yet.

Ardvack wakes up to see the trolls attacking. “Ah. It must be Wednesday.” Matthew, OOC: “Im going to do… something… stupid. Or… brilliant.” Seeing the damage Tarragon and Kessler have taken, he heals Tarragon for 11HP. She blinks with surprise, and he backs up.

We call it there as it's getting late...

#dnd #campaign diary #thetradeway

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storytime-with-seyshia · 4 years

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Malena and Silvia Continued.....

Chapter 10: Being a princess

Malena and Silvia were getting used to living in a castle. Silvia had sent word to her family that she is living with her friend in the castle at the fairy kingdom. Malena and Silvia were getting comfortable in their new home. Malena got a new pretty dress too! Before, her dress was small with a little tutu like skirt, now her dress was big, sparkly, and pink and it was beautiful. Silvia also got an outfit. She got a little blue dress with a little blue tutu. Malena and the queen thought it was really cute. The king and queen went to a lot of fairy council meetings so they took Malena to some too, since she was the princess. She also got to meet a lot of the townspeople. She attended lots of parties and balls.

The queen and king also told Malena and Silvia that... Malena had magical powers! And her parents had magical powers too! Malena and Silvia were shocked. “Darling,” started the queen, “tomorrow we will teach you how to do magic because you are not used to it.” “Yay! Oh my gosh Malena, I can’t believe you’re going to learn magic! You could do so much!” Silvia said. What Malena didn’t know was that she had healing powers so that’s how Silvia’s leg healed with the splinter on that first day they met. “Oh and darling, you have to come to the council meeting today.” “Ok.” said Malena. All of a sudden, Malena felt sort of nervous. This was her first council meeting. She didn’t really feel prepared. But Silvia made it feel better. “It’s going to be ok Malena. I think you are going to be great!” “Thanks Silvia.” Malena said.

Chapter 11: Finding Evilyn

The detective searched far and wide for three days. By then, the townspeople had heard the princess had returned and everyone was celebrating. Detective Florian found clues all over the fairy kingdom and beyond of Evilyn. She has been hiding in disguises all over the place. He spoke to the fairies in the fairy kingdom, pixies in pixie land, the dwarves, the animals in the forest, the creatures in the bog, the giants in giantville. No one has seen her, but he kept hearing about an unusual stranger hiding around in places.

Three more days passed and Malena was starting to worry. Every morning Malena would always sweat and ask her mother, “Did Detective Florian find Evilyn yet?” “No dear.” said her mother. One evening, Malena had enough of this waiting, so she went out to the place where she first met Detective Florian. Silvia heard the door close, she got curious, so she went outside to follow Malena. “Where is she going?” Silvia thought. Then they turned to a little alley and saw Detective Florian sitting on the ground with a notebook, writing all the clues and thinking. Malena cleared her throat. Detective Florian stood up. Malena saw he had bags under his eyes so she knew he was up all night.

“Your... your majesty. What are you doing here?” He asked. “And Silvia what are you doing here too?” Malena just realized she was there and turned around. “Silvia! Why did you follow me?” “I wanted to know where you were going.” Silvia said. “Well anyway, Detective Florian do you have any idea where Evilyn is? I can’t take all this waiting around anymore. I need to know that my people can be safe.” Malena said. “Well...” Detective Florian started. Then all of a sudden, a dark person in a long brown trench coat, black boots and a black hat with a came carrying red, dark purple, and black spray paint in her hand. She started spraying the walls, and she didn’t seem to see the others. She wrote on the wall, “Evilyn, Evilyn, Evilyn was here” everywhere. She turned around and she saw the others! And because she wrote “Evilyn was here” the others knew that was Evilyn in disguise.

Chapter 12: The chase

Evilyn then ran across the alley and turned around the corner. The others chased her, but Malena flew as fast as she could. She was so mad at Evilyn that she wanted to catch her and put her in jail for a long time. They ran and flew and chased and chased and chased Evilyn, until she suddenly stopped at the end of the road. Everyone stopped at the same time. “Why did we stop?” Silvia whispered to Malena. “I don’t know?” Malena replied. It was because there were too many cars and if Evilyn ran across she would have gotten run over. Evilyn looked around and saw a small path between two buildings. She dashed through the buildings, running as fast as she could. Detective Florian, Malena and Silvia continued to chase her through the buildings, going as fast as they could.

The path lead Evilyn to the river, where they were building a new bridge at Fairyland Bay. The bridge was still under construction, but Evilyn didn’t know this. She ran across the bridge and suddenly she noticed the bridge was ending, she couldn’t stop herself. She slipped and fell right into the cold water of the Lissdangle river, the famous river of the fairy kingdom. “Oh no!” everyone said. “We have to get her out!” Silvia said. Then Malena took a deep breath and put her hand in a position where she can perform magic. “What are you doing?” Silvia asked. “I’m going to use magic to get Evilyn out.” said Malena. “What!?? But you don’t even know how to use your powers yet! You can fly but you can’t do magic.” Silvia said. “Yes princess, I agree with Silvia.” Detective Florian said. “You do not know magic yet. Are you sure this is safe?” “Yes. I have to try.” Malena said.

Chapter 13: Magical powers

Malena took another deep breath, bigger this time, and let out purple fairy dust. Everyone gasped. Then a streak of purple magic came out of Malena’s hands. All of a sudden, Malena started to glow purple! She had just unlocked her powers. She lifted her hand and brought Evilyn out. “Leave her there!” Silvia said as Malena was placing Evilyn on the bridge. Then Malena fell to the ground. “Malena are you ok?!” Silvia said. Silvia and Detective Florian lifted her up. “I... I feel stronger.” Malena said. “Good. You should feel that way once you’ve unlocked your powers.” Detective Florian said. Malena smiled. Then everyone looked down at Evilyn lying on the ground. “Is... is she dead?” Silvia asked. Evilyn then woke up and coughed. “Nope.” Malena replied. “What happened?” Evilyn asked groaning. “You fell off this bridge and fell into the Lissdangle river.” Malena said. Evilyn groaned some more.

Then a limo came up. The king and queen ran out. “Oh darling! Are you alright?! Are all of you alright?!” The queen said in panic. “Yes mother. And I unlocked my powers!” Malena said. “Oh man,” the king said, “ we missed it?” “Yeah.” Silvia said. “You did.” “Mother, father, Detective Florian? Please take Evilyn to jail for a long time. She will serve her sentence for all she has done there.” “Yes your majesty.” Detective Florian said. “Yes darling. Guards, put Evilyn here in the back of the limo and drive her to jail.” the queen said. “Yes ma’am.” the guards said. They picked Evilyn up and put her in the back of the limo and drove away. “Well, now that’s all settled. Now what?” Silvia said. “I don’t know?” Malena said. “Well maybe it’s time for me to go.” Detective Florian said. “Hold on there Florian” the King said. “You get a reward for helping my daughter catch the evil Evilyn” Detective Florian was surprised, “Why that’s very kind of you, your majesty. Thank you very much”. The King used his magic and gave the detective a bag of gold coins. “Goodbye everyone. It was nice meeting you all.” “Goodbye Detective Florian, do keep in touch” everyone said. Then he walked away back into the shadows.

“Maybe we should go too.” Malena said. “But we don’t have the limo.” Silvia said. “I’ll teleport us.” the queen said. She used her magic and teleported everyone back to the castle. “It’s also late. We should go to bed now.” Silvia suggested. “Good idea. I am tired after all that.” “Me too.” everyone replied. “Good night.” Silvia said. They all left off to bed. While Malena and Silvia were sleeping they were wondering, what would happen next, now that everything is done? That was the big question. They wondered all night. The king and queen however, had ideas.

Chapter 14: Happily Ever After

A few days later Malena went to her first council meeting, and she was amazing. And she made lots of new laws and rules. She learned more magic too, and became really good at it. Silvia had lots of good treatment back at the castle. She loved it. She never had anything like that before. A few more days later, Malena became queen of fairyland, and Silvia became her personal friend in the castle. They got lots of gifts and everything! They loved their new life in the castle. Everyday, they thought what would happen next? And whatever did happen, they were ready for it and looking forward to new adventures. They all lived happily ever after.

THE END

#storytimewithseyshia #story time #kid author #short stories #books #childrensstories #stories for children #writing #Malena and Silvia

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dragonslayer-5fanfiction · 4 years

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My Burly Love Chapter 8

Alright ya’ll this is a little late, but you know there’s a lot going on and I’m here. I got it done. Stay positive in these times!! Also give this Spotify playlist a listen. It’s pretty fire and my writing insporation!

Chapter 7

The GIF is from giphy btw.

https://open.spotify.com/user/spookyclouds/playlist/64KTxueNrGIn8enH7SP3kb?si=gCdkQEruTQyBNmKf6dBvPQ

Chapter 8

We were advised by Beorn that the quickest way to get to the Lonely Mountain was to cut through the Mirkwood forest. He lent us some of his horses to get us to the forest.

“Stay on the path. Do not stray.” Gandalf advised us. He was very solemn. I stood and watched him ride off into obscurity. When I couldn't see him anymore, I turned and walked into the unknown.

When I entered everything felt off, like there was something sinister hiding deep in the wood. I’m not sure what it could be, but it gives me a bad feeling. The air is thick and the wood is sick. The smell of stale air, and infection are spread throughout the forest. The breeze is heard at the tops of the trees, although nothing is felt on the ground.

The path is made of stone, and the line is very clear. With Thorin at our lead, we will not stray. We have been walking for what felt like forever, when I looked down and there was no path. I stopped and turned in a circle, the path was nowhere to be found!

“Excuse me, guys, but it appears that we have strayed from the path!” They all looked around.

“Oh no where is the path?”

“We lost the path!” We scattered around for a few minutes until we finally found the path again. The stones are a welcome sight, and the slow quiet trickle of a stream was enticing. As we walked forward we saw there was a bridge, broken in the middle, a sight right out of a picture.

“Do you not remember what Gandalf said, these waters are enchanted.”

“How are we going to get across, I don’t think swimming is a good idea.” Fog floated a few inches above the water. The water was murky and there was no telling how deep it actually was. I walked over to a huge branch that was curling off to the left of the broken bridge. I ran my hand along the bark, wondering how old this tree was, and how we were going to get across safely. The events from Beorn’s and a week ago were racing through my mind. Even just the thought of it made my stomach churn and my head swirl.

Dwalin noticed me standing off to the side and came to stand by me. I didn’t even look at him, I’m still so mad at him for walking away and refusing to talk to me about it. I think I’m more mad at me for thinking he’s interested, for embarrassing myself. But most of all, for falling for him. He’s my best friend here, and he probably thinks about me as a kid.

“What’s going on that head of yer’s lassie?” I rolled my head to the side, to look at him.

“What do you think is running through my mind?”

“Lass I’m not a mind reader, I don’t know.”

“Yeah, that much is clear.” I rolled my eyes and stalked away from him.

When I got back to the group, Bilbo had used some hanging vines to climb his way across the river. The rest of us would then use the vines and also cross, staying away from the water. Dwalin went last. That way he could keep an eye on everyone to make sure they were safe. Thorin went first, and the rest of us followed. We were all in a clump trying to get to the other side. It didn’t make it easy, having all us in one area at once. There were a few times I almost fell, but Fili managed to catch me. He’s always doing that. When I turned to thank Fili, I noticed Dwalin shooting daggers, into Fili’s back.

“Uh, thanks Fili.” My eyes darted between him and Dwalin.

“I feel it. Don’t worry, he’s just jealous.”

“I doubt it.” I muttered.

With a little help, I finally made it to the other side, landing beside Thorin. Everyone else was still trying to cross, behind me I heard some twigs snapping. I turned my head over my right shoulder, trying to see what was making the noise. I saw something white in the corner of my eye. By the time I was fully turned around there was a white stag standing in a clearing. It was the brightest thing I’ve seen since we stepped foot into the forsaken forest. Thorin readied his bow, and while we were staring at it, let his arrow fly.

“That’s bad luck.” Bilbo whispered.

“I don’t believe in luck. We make our own luck.” Thorin responded. Watching it run off, I started to cry. I cried for my friends losing their home, for losing his family, for my fight with Dwalin, but most of all I cried because I had lost hope. Hope that we would get out of this forest, and that we would all come out alive at the end. I heard a dull thud, and a splash. My head whirled as I wiped my tears, and there behind me was Fili. In the water behind him, was Bombur, fast asleep. We got everyone across the bridge, and then they pulled Bombur out of the water by his braid. Once he was on dry land, we got him dried off, and he woke up. Then we were on our way again.

We had been wandering for what felt like days, and the path was getting harder and harder to follow. I lost my footing and stumbled forward. Reaching out to brace myself, I latched onto Dwalin, who willingly caught me. He held me until I was steadied enough to let go.

“Are ya, alirgh’?” He looked at me with concern.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged his arms off of me, and walked ahead of him. The feel of his arms wouldn’t leave me though. They were strong, and warm. Oh so warm. They were heavy with muscles, hard from years of use. They were comfortable, they felt like home.

I looked down, to try to occupy my mind, from thinking about him. I let out a loud gasp, loud enough to stop the entire company in their tracks. “We’ve lost the pathway again!”

Everyone started to call out and look for the path, but it was nowhere to be seen. We found some of our things scattered around, and discovered that we have been going in circles for who knows how long. We couldn’t figure out what to do, and everyone was on edge. They were starting fights left and right. I watched as Bilbo climbed up a tree.

Dwalin was on the edge of a cliff overlooking the forest. He turned and walked over to me. “Are ya okay, from the spill you took?”

I looked up at him and the sound of his voice grated against my ears.

“I’m not saying that you’re not okay, you just don’t look that good.”

“Oh, I get it. I’m not good enough for you-”

“-Lass that’s not what I meant.”

“No. No, it’s fine. That’s why you walked away from me the other day.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my finger cutting him off. “Nope. It’s fine. Don’t worry.” I patted his chest and walked away. He stood there watching me. I sat next to Thorin trying to fend off the burning glare of Dwalin. I tapped Thorin on the shoulder, “Are we going to get moving any time soon?” He was about to respond, when I heard a noise somewhere in the distance. I turned to try to pinpoint where it was coming from or what was making it. I couldn’t tell what it was.

I placed my hand on his arm, “Thorin, do you hear that?” He turned towards me. “I think-AHHH!” I was grabbed and pulled upwards. Whatever grabbed me was screeching, in a most disgusting way. I reached for my sword, and started to swing. I nicked it and it screamed louder than before, then it thumped me against a tree, and everything faded into black.

I woke up to my name being shouted rather frantically. “Hello?!” I called out. “Hello? I’m Here!” They continued to call my name, as if they hadn’t heard me. Maybe they didn’t. Out of nowhere a sword is about two inches from my face, and dragged down my body. “AHHHH!”

“I found Y/N!” I looked up and Bilbo was holding his hand out for me to take. I grabbed it and he pulled me up. I did a quick inventory to make sure nothing was broken. Nothing was broken. I turned around and it was chaos! There were spiders screeching and dwarves fighting and being thrown around. One of the spiders turned and locked in on me. It was big, and screeching. The fangs hanging from it’s face are terrifying. Sharp and dripping with venom, or spit I couldn’t tell.

I lifted my sword and readied myself. Once the spider was within striking distance I rolled under and thrusted my sword up. The spider screeched and rolled off. It was angrier than before, so it turned and lunged at me with a renewed vigor. I tried to get away from it, but it was too quick. It grabbed me and it lifted me up. I couldn’t fight it off, not with the way it was holding me. I was dropped to the ground and I landed hard on my back. By the time I got up, we were surrounded by elves, who were helping us fight off the spiders.

“Don’t think I won’t kill you dwarf. It would be my pleasure.” A tall blonde elf said, holding an arrow at Thorin’s head throat. More appeared out of the woods. Like they had been waiting, watching, for the right time to step in. I scowled at the thought.

“Search them.” the white haired elf commanded. Thorin looked rather pissed that they were here. They started searching everyone. They pulled a locket out of Gimli’s coat. “Who is this? Your brother?” He asked.

“That is......my wife!”

“And what is this horrid creature? A Goblin-mutant?” Man this guy is as rude as they get.

“That's my wee lad, Gimli.” I was so lost watching the interaction, I didn’t notice that an elf came up and was getting ready to search me. This particular elf, looked in every pocket, anything he believed could hide a weapon.

“Hey, watch where you’re putting your hands, you creep!” I pushed him away from me. He grabbed my arm, stopping me from pushing him anymore. Others heard the commotion, and tried to push through to get to me.

“Aye! Ye better not hurt em’!” Dwalin yelled.

“I’ll rip you to shreds if you touch a hair on their head!” Dori yelled.

Thorin finally tore free from the elf searching him, and pushed his way to me. “That is enough.” He pushed them away from me and pulled me up to Dwalin. He deposited me there, knowing I would be safe with him. However, he is the last person I want to be around right now. I’m still angry with him. We marched towards Mirkwood.

As we were walking I started counting everyone. I turned while I was walking, and tripped over my own two feet. Dwalin caught me. I smacked him in the arm, causing him to let go of me. “Dwalin…” I whispered, he didn’t respond. “..Dwalin, we’re missing Bilbo.” He looked confused.

“What?”

“He’s not with us. I don’t know where he is.”

“He’s probably fine. Don’t worry.”

“Dwalin! I can’t not worry. In case you forgot, there are spiders out there.”

“Love, he’ll be fine. Please don’t worry.” I gave him a swift elbow to the gut

“What is that for?”

“For calling me love. I’m not your love, you’ve made that very clear.” I stared down at my feet, for the rest of the walk. At the command of the blonde haired elf, they seperated Thorin and me from the rest of the group. I grabbed Thorin’s hand because I was scared of falling. Who designs a walkway without railings? Who does that? They brought us before a throne that looked like it was made of branches. The same as the crown on the man’s head. Thorin squeezed my hand in reassurance as we were brought before him.

“Some may imagine that a noble quest is at hand. A quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon.” He walked down the steps, and got in Thorin’s face. “And dragged a woman with you, how did this happen?” He turned to me.

“It just happened.” I raised my eyebrows at the end.

“A woman in the company of dwarves, I can imagine a more desirous situation for you, than this quest. Does it not bother you that you are alone amongst men? Does it not bother you that this is dangerous, and that you might die?”

“Is this because I’m a woman, because I know you don’t have an issue with that. You have a female warrior amongst you, and others seem to listen to her, so she must be high up in the ranks. So is the issue the dwarves, or just your own ignorance of my abilities?” I heard Thorin snort at my side, and squeeze my hand once again.

“You will not address me that way, I am a king.” He roared.

“ You are not my king. Is that why you wear those twigs on your head?” He sneered at me. He turned to the guard and said something in a language I didn’t understand, and I was ripped away from Thorin. I clung to the elf rather tightly as he led me further down into the palace. Again there were no railings, although the elf said nothing to me. It was the same slim blonde haired elf, from the forest.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Legolas.”

“Legolas, I like that name.”

“Thank you.” We continued to walk in silence. We finally reached the dungeons, where he opened a cell and guided me in there. My eyes were still adjusting, but I saw another figure in the cell. I reached trying to feel my way around the cell. I grabbed the tunic of whoever else was in there.

“Who is that?” I asked patting their chest trying to get a feel of who it was.

“It's me, lassie.” My hands froze where they were.

“Dwalin.” I breathed out.

“Are you alright? What happened up there?” He grabbed my hands and held them down at our sides.

“We were brought before the King, and I may have done something I shouldn't have.”

“What did you do lass?” His voice took a darker tone.

“I sassed the king, and he sent me away. I don’t think he likes me now.” He immediately pulled his hands away.

“Lass, are ye trying to get yourself killed?! He is a fearsome warrior, not to be trifled with.” Dwalin started raising his voice at me.

“Look Dwalin what’s done is done okay?” We sat in silence for a while before either one of us spoke.

“Lass, why won’t you talk to me?”

“Because Dwalin I’m angry at you.”

“Love-” I cut him off.

“I already told you I’m not your love.”

“So this is about the other week.”

“Oh wow look who’s finally using their thick skull. Yes it’s about the other week. You act like you’re interested, spend time with me, look and act like you want to kiss me, then you back away at the last minute.” I walked towards him. “And do you know what the worst part of all this is?” I shook my hands at him. “I would forgive you. I would go to the ends of Middle Earth for you, even if you don’t feel the same way. Dwalin?”

“Yeah lassie?”

“Why did you do that? I just want to know.” He took a deep breath and looked away from me.

“I-uh. It's complicated.”

“Then uncomplicate it for me. I know you feel the same way.”

“I-I can’t. Not right now. I’m sorry.” I threw my hands up in the air.

“Fine. Whatever. I can’t do this right now.”

Chapter 9

Taglist: @fentah, @reignofglitter, @perseny-blog, @xxdragonagequeenxx,@captainrainbowpanda, @hufflepuff25, @swoopswishsward , @tumblinglringlring, @awkwardsleepyturtle, @unadulteratedwizardlove, @classygladiatorcupcake, @leslieebee, @sweetdreamtragedy, @michellemsg,

#my burly love #dwalin x reader #dwalin imagine #dwalin #the hobbit

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thotinshield · 4 years

Note

for the nsfw prompt: sex in rivendell

The moment they step foot into Rivendell, Bilbo marveled at the beauty of the elven city. It is so… different from the Shire and the towns of the Men that they had passed through. Far better than the wilderness that the dwarves had led him into thus far, especially considering the fact that the elves offer beds for them to sleep in, rather than the hard rock of the ground that they’d spent the last few weeks sleeping on. Not that Bilbo would say that to their faces. He was fairly certain if he were to say anything that put the elves above the dwarves, Thorin might very well just leave him there in Rivendell.

Which wasn’t necessarily bad. Was it?

Only Bilbo hadn’t run down Bagshot Row and out of the Shire so he could be here in Rivendell. There was something deep inside of him that felt pulled to Thorin Oakenshield, to… to the dwarves and their cause. That was it.

It had nothing to do with the dark blue eyes that had occupied his dreams that night, or the deep timbre of their leader’s voice that had left him uncomfortable in his bed.

Nope.

Bilbo wandered away after the gracious dinner that Elrond had provided them. For once in the past few weeks, Bilbo felt like he was almost a proper hobbit again, having eaten a meal that wasn’t made on the road, though it could have done to have any kind of meat. Really. Elves were a rather odd bunch, Bilbo had concluded, but no stranger than the dwarves or men.

He supposed any other race might find him just as odd.

Wandering down the many levels of Rivendell, Bilbo paused to look over the valley. It was truly beautiful, though nothing quite like the rolling hills of the Shire. It almost felt distant, in some way, like an untouchable beauty, which was not how the Shire was. Everything in the Shire was touchable, grown by their own hands and cultivated for their comfort. He couldn’t feel that in Rivendell, at least not in the way that the Shire spoke to him.

Bilbo’s ears perked slightly, the quiet sound of low voices carrying over the wind. He turned his head, trying to seek out the source of them in the night air. He was hardly an eavesdropper, really, but it was years of living in Hobbiton that had he had been unwittingly trained to listen on what might be a morsel of gossip.

As he listened, he realized he could place the voices quite easily. Gandalf and Lord Elrond. They were talking about Thorin, Bilbo realized.

The soft scuffing sound of a boot against the stairs caught Bilbo’s attention and he glanced over his shoulder, to find Thorin lingering a step or two above Bilbo. His face was hardening, and Bilbo realize that he had heard the conversation drifting through the night to them.

“Thorin!” Bilbo exclaimed, twisting around and clasping his hands together. Great. Bilbo was certain that the dwarf king didn’t actually like him, barely tolerated him, really, but this was not a good situation to be in.

Slowly, Thorin’s eyes moved to Bilbo’s face, his mouth twisting up oddly. He looked surprised, and Bilbo wondered if Thorin had even seen him. Right, probably not.

“Master Baggins,” Thorin said, his eyes locked in on Bilbo.

“Were you… admiring the valley? It’s quite beautiful at night…”

Thorin snorted, glancing away from Bilbo and then down the steps. He looked tense, as if he were about to charge down the stairs and confront the elven lord. Bilbo should probably do something, he thought, lest they end up in a worse situation than they already were.

“I suppose you’ve seen many more sights than this,” Bilbo said, hoping to draw Thorin’s attention back. It seemed to work, at least in the meantime. “But I’ve only been in the Shire, and there is a whole world out there that I haven’t seen.”

“Yet you’ve decided this is a beautiful sight,” Thorin said, his voice disdainful as he looked out over the valley. But, despite his words and manner, Bilbo thought he could see something almost soft around the edges of Thorin’s eyes.

“Well I have nothing to compare it to you,” Bilbo said, crossly.

“You will when we arrive in Erebor,” Thorin said, turning and making his way down the stairs. Bilbo followed quickly, hoping that he wouldn’t have to try and physically stop Thorin from approaching Elrond and Gandalf. But Thorin came to a stop at a bench, glancing at Bilbo before he sat down.

It was a great relief to Bilbo.

So much that he felt at ease plopping himself down next to Thorin on the bench. Here, they could still see a good deal of the valley, and they were surrounded by a rather nice garden. It almost felt homey to Bilbo.

He missed his own garden.

“Tell me about Erebor,” Bilbo said, crossing his legs and leaning back to look up at the stars above them. They were no more brilliant than they were in the Shire, but he felt a warmth wash over him. Some things were the same, no matter where you went, and that was a relief to know. “Do you… did you truly live in the mountain? All the time? Did you see the stars before you left Erebor?”

Bilbo snapped his mouth shut, shame creeping up on him. It was not a question he should ask, not at all, but it had slipped free without him being able to stop it.

He did not expect the soft chuckle that came from the dwarf seated next to him. Bilbo stared at him, his eyes wide, as he took in the small smile creeping onto Thorin’s face, his eyes crinkling at the side in amusement.

Something Bilbo had not seen before, nor known that Thorin was capable of.

“When I was young… very young, before I was allowed to leave Erebor…” Thorin’s voice was soft, and it felt far away, as if he were not there with Bilbo at all. “I do not how to describe Erebor to you, master Baggins. It was my home for many years before it was ripped away. Erebor is far more grand than anything you can imagine. To answer your question, no, dwarves do not remain in the mountain day after day or night after night, we do venture out,” he cast a glance at Bilbo. “I was not allowed that. As a prince, I had to remain in the mountain. For a very long time.”

Bilbo remained quiet as Thorin looked up at the stars, a fond smile curling onto his lips.

“My mother brought me into the caves below Erebor..” Thorin’s fingers curled into his thighs, and he closed his eyes. Suddenly, Bilbo felt very much like he was not supposed to be here, sharing this with the dwarf king. “There were these… I suppose they are best called fireflies in your tongue. There were fireflies in the caves, along the ceiling of the cave. I … thought they were the stars.”

The small laugh of surprise that bubbled up in Bilbo’s throat could not be stopped, and he bit his lip as Thorin looked over at him.

“I had heard much of the outside world, but I had not seen any of it.” Thorin released his hold on his thighs, drawing his eyes up to the sky for a moment. “I do understand the draw of the… beauty that the elves seem to hold in their valleys and forests, but I assure you, it is not the most beautiful sight you will find in the world.”

No, Bilbo thought, Thorin was quite right about that.

Because sitting there, watching the king in the moonlight, Bilbo couldn’t imagine there was anything more enticing, more beautiful than him.

Perhaps he stared too long, for just then, Thorin met his gaze before Bilbo could look away, or focus his gaze somewhere else less innocuous. Thorin’s eyes seemed always intense, his gaze burning, as if he were solely focused on whatever it was that he was looking at. Having that gaze focused on himself, even for a few seconds, it was… a bit much to handle.

Bilbo dropped his eyes down, to Thorin’s shoulder, which was far less intimidating to look at. At the least, it didn’t look back at him.

“Well, I… I should go,” Bilbo said, standing abruptly. He didn’t look at Thorin, tucking his hands behind himself as he glanced up for one last moment to take in the stars. “It’s getting rather late.”

“I shall escort you there,” Thorin said, standing up. Bilbo tensed slightly but nodded, glancing to the side so that he could see the dwarf, but not enough that he might have to make eye contact with that smoldering gaze.

He could make it.

As soon as he was in his room, he could think about those intense blue eyes all he wanted without worrying about it. Thorin wouldn’t know, and what he didn’t know… that couldn’t hurt him, could it?

“We will not be staying in Rivendell long,” Thorin said as they walked down the halls, towards the rooms that the dwarves had been clustered into. “I fear that if we stay too long, we may not be as welcome to leave.”

“What do you mean?” Bilbo frowned.

“Greater powers may not deem our quest wise.”

“They cannot prevent you from leaving!” Bilbo said, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

“Elves do as they please,” Thorin muttered, and finally, Bilbo looked over at the dwarf king.

His face was darker, his mouth set in a firm line. Bilbo did not have much time to ponder on his face, as Thorin drew to a stop outside one of the rooms. His or Bilbo’s? Bilbo wasn’t sure. It wasn’t like they had really been assigned exact rooms.

“Then I suppose we shouldn’t linger too long in Rivendell,” Bilbo said, meeting Thorin’s eyes.

“Right you are,” Thorin said, “good night, Master Baggins.”

“Wait, Thorin…”

Bilbo bit his lip as those intense eyes turned back to him. “Would you like to… ahem, I mean, I think we’re both in need of a drink?”

“Are you inviting me in?” Thorin asked, his mouth curling into a coy smile.

Bilbo’s heart thudded in his chest.

“Yes.” He said, his eyes locked on Thorin’s still. There was a heat growing in them as Thorin looked at him. For a moment, Bilbo wondered if Thorin would laugh at him, or look at him in disgust, at what was likely a rather bold invitation.

“I could do for a drink,” Thorin said, his smile widening sharply.

If Bilbo were a lesser hobbit, he might have tucked tail and run, but he couldn’t help the surprised zing of pleasure in his gut as Thorin looked at him like that. He couldn’t imagine taking it back now. Not now.

Two steps in, Bilbo turned around to ask what Thorin would like to drink, exactly, because the elves had quite a lot of wine. His words were stopped dead in their track of leaving his mouth. The heat in Thorin’s eyes had only grown, far more intense than Bilbo had ever seen. He watched Thorin’s hand on the door as it shut sharply, for a moment dragging Bilbo’s attention away from the dwarf and to the door before his eyes snapped back to Thorin’s face.

“Am I to assume that your invitation for a drink was a pretense, master Baggins?”

“I…”

“Do you wish for my company?”

“I would not have invited you if I did not–”

The feeling of Thorin’s chapped lips against his stilled the rest of Bilbo’s words. There was no tentativeness to the way Thorin kissed, no hesitation. His mouth moved against Bilbo’s encouragingly, until Bilbo could no longer hold himself back. His hands found purchase in Thorin’s hair as he opened his mouth to let the dwarf’s tongue find its way in.

Thorin’s hand cupped Bilbo’s jaw, tilting Bilbo’s head slightly and deepening the kiss as he went, sliding his tongue against Bilbo’s. It caused a moan to escape from the back of Bilbo’s throat, and one of his hand scrambling to find better purchase than Thorin’s hair. He fisted Thorin’s shirt, pressing as close as he could, pushing himself up on his toes.

He felt the timbre of Thorin’s chuckle reverberate between them. The feeling only left a tingle chasing down his spine as he kissed Thorin harder, nipping his lip when Thorin relented for a second.

“Ah,” Thorin let out a breathless noise, sliding his hand from Bilbo’s jaw to gently grip Bilbo’s curls. “Peace, I intend to take you to bed, master Baggins, if you would let me..”

Bilbo met Thorin’s eyes, relaxing his grip on the dwarf just enough that he could try to think straight. “You better.”

Another warming chuckle spread between them as Thorin raised an eyebrow, his reddened lips still curling wide in a warm smile. Before Bilbo could stop him, the dwarf had scooped Bilbo up in his arms. Bilbo let out a small noise of surprise, smacking Thorin’s arm.

“Excuse me! I am not some… some child or maiden that you can just sweep up!”

Nevermind that the strength the dwarf had just displayed had made Bilbo’s hardening cock immediately harden, instead of the slow approach that it had been on to that state.

“I am well aware of that,” Thorin murmured in Bilbo’s ear, nipping the edge of his earlobe. Bilbo shivered and Thorin chuckled again, pausing at the edge of the bed. “And I shall keep that in mind…”

“You… you…” Bilbo stuttered, swallowing down the arousal building up in his abdomen. “Put me down.”

“If that is what you desire,” Thorin said, stooping down slightly and settling Bilbo down neatly on the bed. He did not linger nor let a second pass before he was on top of Bilbo, pressing between Bilbo’s legs and kissing him fiercely again.

The bulk of Thorin between Bilbo’s legs was more than enticing, the feel of his weight against Bilbo. Bilbo couldn’t help sliding a hand up Thorin’s arm, before he interlocked his arms around the dwarf’s neck. Otherwise he might not be able to control himself, considering the feeling of Thorin’s thighs under Bilbo’s legs.

Bilbo’s breath hitched as Thorin pressed closer, his hips meeting Thorin’s unintentionally. Thorin gasped against Bilbo’s mouth, as their clothed cocks ground together. Bilbo moaned, hooking a leg around Thorin’s hip and trying to bring them together again. It was a feeling he’d be willing to chase, especially with Thorin’s mouth against his, and his tongue exploring Bilbo’s mouth.

Not a way he’d mind losing himself.

Still, he wasn’t expecting for Thorin’s hand to grip his leg and break the kiss, his breath heavy as he looked down at Bilbo.

“Much as I’d be just as pleased to lose myself like this with you,” Thorin murmured, his voice husky as his eyes darted down for a moment. “I would very much like to take advantage of the comfort of having a bed with you.”

“Oh,” Bilbo swallowed, and his eyes followed the direction of Thorin’s gaze, to where their cocks were pressed together.

“If you are amicable,” Thorin continued, drawing his hand away from his grip on Bilbo’s leg to slip somewhere within his jacket, and then producing a vial of some kind. But Bilbo could easily guess the contents within.

“Yes,” Bilbo choked out, his cheeks heating up.

It was almost embarrassing, but he was pent up, and he desperately wanted Thorin. The fact that the dwarf returned that sentiment, even somewhat, it only added to the growing tightness in the pit of his stomach.

Thorin grinned, sitting back just enough that he could undress. Bilbo struggled to do the same, if only because the sight of Thorin baring himself was something else entirely. Not that Bilbo hadn’t seen Thorin bare before, given the time they’d spent on the road, but it was different here, in the privacy of a bedroom. No other dwarves to distract Bilbo or to shame him for taking his fill of Thorin in. His eyes trailed down the dwarf’s chest, to where his cock stood, plump and larger than any other cock Bilbo had ever been this close to. Of course, he’d only ever been with other hobbits, so that was not a surprise, but even so…

Bilbo did wonder if he’d even be able to wrap one hand around Thorin’s cock, or if he’d require both of his hands.

“I’ll take that as approval,” Thorin said, lowly, in Bilbo’s ear, as he brushed a kiss behind it. Bilbo shivered. “But it is unfair to have me bare as I am and you still here in your clothing, master Baggins.”

Bilbo let out a small, indignant huff, pushing himself up on his elbows and quickly loosing himself of his own clothes. There was hardly any reason to act coy about it, now. Thorin’s eyes followed the path of his hands, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight of Bilbo’s cock.

“You must have seen finer cocks than m-”

His head thumped back against the pillows, his hands scrambling against the sheets as he tried to steady himself. The warmth of Thorin’s mouth enveloped him, the sudden sensation nearly causing Bilbo to lose himself there and then. He felt the flick of Thorin’s tongue against the head of his cock but he couldn’t quite raise his head to look, even though he very much wished he could. What a sight Thorin probably made, bent over Bilbo, his mouth wrapped arond Bilbo’s cock and taking him deeper.

“Fuck,” Bilbo gasped, biting his lip as Thorin bobbed his head and sucked his cock slowly.

His hips rocked up intentionally, and Bilbo might have been more worried about Thorin, if it weren’t for the fact that the dwarf moaned around him when his cock pushed deeper in his mouth.

This would be fine too, Bilbo thought dimly. He’d be just fine if he came apart under Thorin’s mouth.

Then, there was the press of a finger against his ass, and Bilbo whimpered, biting his lip harder as he felt the entrance of Thorn’s finger into him. It was certainly thicker than Bilbo’s own fingers, or any other hobbit’s fingers. He squirmed slightly, but at the least, Thorin had oiled his fingers and it wasn’t as harsh as it might have been if they had no oil at all.

Not that Bilbo would have let Thorin do this if there hadn’t been something to ease the way, that was for certain.

Before too long, before Bilbo might embarrassingly spill himself into Thorin’s mouth, he felt the cool air against his cock as the dwarf let Bilbo slide from his mouth slowly. Thorin had two fingers inside Bilbo, thrusting them slowly, in a gentle manner that Bilbo hadn’t been certain Thorin was capable of up until this point. Each thrust of his fingers Bilbo couldn’t help the moans that came out of his mouth, small and quiet, but there.

“I will go slow,” Thorin said, drawing his fingers out gently and pushing Bilbo’s thighs open and settling between them. “You will tell me if I hurt you.”

“Yes, just please,” Bilbo begged, tugging on Thorin’s arm and meeting his eyes. Thorin groaned and pressed closer, one hand on Bilbo’s thigh as he wrapped his fingers around his own cock. The sight of that alone was more than enough to rile Bilbo up more and he let out a demanding whine.

Thorin chuckled, though there was something behind it that told Bilbo the dwarf was just as desperate for this as he was.

Thorin’s hand on his thigh squeezed gently, as Thorin guided his cock into Bilbo. The blunt head of it almost felt too much, but the preparation of Thorin’s fingers before eased its way enough that it didn’t hurt. Bilbo grabbed at Thorin’s arm, his breath coming out in small gasps as he felt the size of Thorin’s cock inside him. Seeing the size of it was one thing, but feeling it, feeling the way it filled him, that left Bilbo dizzy.

When Thorin stopped moving, Bilbo shifted slightly, meeting the dwarf’s eyes. His pupils were pinpoint, dark as he moved his hand from Bilbo’s thigh to join his other hand at either side of Bilbo’s head.

“You’re..” Bilbo’s breath hitched and then was pushed out him immediately when Thorin rolled his hips, pushing his cock into Bilbo as deep as it would go. One of Bilbo’s hands covered his mouth, his eyes closing.

“No,” Thorin growled, voice deep in his throat and Bilbo felt a hand pull his hand away from his mouth. “I wish to hear you.”

Bilbo nodded, meeting Thorin’s eyes as the dwarf pulled out almost entirely before he thrust back into Bilbo. Bilbo’s hand scrambling, grabbing at Thorin’s back and clinging to him as the dwarf started fucking him, hard, into the bed.

If this is what Thorin Oakenshield considered slow, Bilbo had to wonder what he might consider fast.

Thorin pressed a kiss behind Bilbo’s ear, pinning Bilbo’s hand above his hand as he fucked him. Bilbo writhed under Thorin, gasping softly and crying out his name when Thorin’s cock hit the bundle of nerves deep inside of him. Before he could cry out again, Bilbo was seeing stars. He could feel the knot inside of him tightening before it released, and he spasmed against Thorin.

A second later, Bilbo felt a warmth spreading inside his ass, and he realized the noise that he was hearing above him was Thorin. He didn’t recognize the words, and it took a moment for Bilbo to realize that it wasn’t his ears betraying him, but that Thorin was gasping in Khzudul as he came inside of Bilbo.

Bilbo let his eyes fall shut, breathing hard as he felt the weight above him shift. Thorin could likely crush if he were to lay on top of Bilbo, but the dwarf had the courtesy of pulling out of Bilbo before he collapsed next to the hobbit.

There were more conversation to be had, another time, Bilbo thought, but he couldn’t muster the energy now to question what had just occurred between them.

#bagginshieldisreal #bagginshield #pan writes shit #hi yes this is in fact like 3.7k idk whats wrong with me but its like 2k just pre smut shit and then the rest is smut im so sorry LMFAO

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secretsfromwholecloth · 4 years

Text

Dragon Age: Inquisition, day 21.

Right, back to the Oasis to spend some more hours running around in circles, hoping to randomly blunder into all the shards and landmarks.

At least there’s blood lotus here.

Vivienne is still being very mean to Cole. :/

Though on a funnier note, she has stealth active somehow, and all of her is transparent except her hat. Not sure a floating hat is going to escape detection, Viv.

Found the door to Solasan, and this time I even remember how I got here. Shame I still need five more shards.

GOT ‘EM. WHOOOOOO.

Now for the real reason anyone ever sets foot in this Maker-forsaken place: Solasan.

Once again, babies, please try to avoid being set on fire.

Or shocked, or frozen, or otherwise zotted by the floor glyphs when you don’t have to be, Cole.

Yes, Vivienne, I would say 20% intrinsic resistance to every element and so much loot I had to destroy a couple dozen of the less valuable pieces was “worth it”.

All right, I’ve cleaned out Solasan, closed all the rifts, and I don’t think the other side quests here are happening, so back to Skyhold to prepare for Doom Upon All the World.

This is going to be the first playthrough where I leave the story DLCs for after Corypheus—my habits were formed by games where that wasn’t possible, but this is Dragon Age and I can do that here. I’m very excited.

Shit, now I have to actually think about who I’m going to bring with me. Cassandra and Cole seem obvious, and they’d be a nice change from my usual use of Blackwall and Varric. So do I bring Solas for orb reasons, like normal? Yeah, I think I do.

May as well make guard-on-hit armor for Cassandra and Cole, since they’ll probably also see heavy use in the DLCs as well. Won’t bother for Mr. Just Going To Disappear Afterwards Anyway, he can rely on his barriers.

Let’s do this.

The only person getting destroyed here is you, stretchy man.

Oh, it’s lovely to see Cole with full guard. And not ready to fall over because someone looked at him funny.

Thanks for the assist, dragon friend!

Anchoret never got the vallaslin talk from Solas, so she has no duck-strangling idea what Corypheus is talking about when he says “slave markings”. She’s quietly assuming that it’s some bullshit she doesn’t need to worry about. Especially not now.

How dare you, stretchy man. You are not binding Cole.

Haha, yoink.

Sorry your ball got broken, Solas.

Babies. <3

Another hug! Still only counts for half, but I’m not complaining.

Solas is gone? Definitely not ominous or suspicious at all. Won’t come up in a DLC or anything, nope. :D

Weh, Cole. (And sitting on a table in a weird position swinging his legs is...yeah, that’s a thing I do often enough. I feel you, Cole.)

Hey, Bioware, could I prevail on you for another hug here? No? Dammit.

So...Solas slurping up what’s left of Mythal could potentially get interesting for whoever drank from the Well, right?

Cullen’s post-party scene is sweet, yes.

Cassandra is going to be Divine after all. Should be fun to see come Trespasser.

Loving all the others’ good-natured snark about it—this is the first time I’ve actually made the rounds post-Corypheus-party, normally I launch right into Trespasser.

For now, Anchoret figures putting a personal friend on the Sunburst Throne will lead to policies that are friendlier towards her and people like her than the Chantry has ever been. Is she in for a bit of disappointment? Yep. Still, this is lower down her “I fucked up” list than some things.

Huh, Dagna sure says some things about lyrium and dwarves.

I can’t even say hi to Cole anymore? That’s mean, game.

No sign of Blackwall, Cullen, or Josephine at their regular posts, either. Aw.

Oh, everyone’s back to normal now. That’s nice of them.

Ooh. I only went after the Sulevin Blade because there was a mosaic piece there, but goodness me, that’s a nice piece of kit. I’ll have to go after it earlier next time and let Iron Bull have some fun with it. (I’d say “keep it in mind for when I run a two-handed warrior Inquisitor”, but I’m not so sure that’ll be happening any time soon.)

And it can be DLC time in the morning, as it’s late and I’m tired.

#dragon age #dragon age: inquisition #anchoret lavellan

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ruthoakenshield · 4 years

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Thorin and the Gem Carver (Part 8)

Thorin struggled to focus the rest of the day. He felt strangely giddy and excited and just wanted to be near you all the time. He thought about you all afternoon as he went about his tasks. Wondering if you would enjoy certain things he saw or did, wondering what kinds of tastes you had for gems and jewelry, wondering if you had decent clothes for living in the mountains with his kin.

He decided to go and talk with the tailors and dress makers, he instructed them to go and inquire about Jade’s wardrobe and to make sure she had appropriate clothing for living in Erebor. Same for her Aunt. If they found them needing anything, to have it made to whatever they desired, and he would pay for the items.

Once that had been settled, he wandered through the market looking at jewelry. Getting an idea for what the styles were that his people were wearing and making these days. He saw Sigrid and Tilda manning their father’s booth and he went to talk with them when they waved.

“How is Jade doing?” Tilda asked. She was happily wearing the hair pins that Jade had given them.

“She is in her own chambers now that Elrond and his sons have healed her back enough for her to be moved. Would you two like to see her?” he asks.

Both girls nod and bounce excitedly. “Tell your Father I am asking you all to join us for supper tonight in the Royal dining hall.” He says with a grin. The two girls squeal and dance around happily. “We will! Thank you Thorin!” Tilda says excitedly and runs around the booth to give him a hug. He chuckles as she is almost the same height as him now. “You girls keep shooting up more each time I see you.” He teases. “Soon you will be taller than your father!” he says with a wink.

“Bain already is!” a voice from behind Thorin says. Thorin turns and smiles. “Bard! How are you doing?” Thorin says, smiling and extends his hand in greeting. Bard takes it and shakes it, returning the smile. “Ah, things are going along swimmingly. Trade talks with Rohan are coming around and I think we’ve worked out an agreement that will benefit both parties.” He says.

Turning to his girls, “Are you two ready to head home?” he asks them. “Da, Thorin has invited us all to join him for dinner in the Royal dining hall! We’ll get to see Jade!” they say, dancing around him as he walks behind the booth. He chuckles, “Is that so? Well, I suggest you both hurry, then so we can get back home and get dressed for dinner. We will indeed take up Thorin on his generous offer.” He says to them with a wink to Thorin.

Thorin chuckles and nods. “I will see you at 7pm then.” He tells them. Bard nods and they hurry and close up the booth.

Thorin continues to wander the market and spots an exquisite wood carver’s set made with dwarven steel and rare wood handles embellished with smooth gemstones that create natural grips. He wonders if you would like it for when you are able to begin carving again. He purchases it for you and some soft wood pieces. He has the merchant wrap it up and then pays him for the purchase. Thorin continues to wander and looks at the different items. He is content with the purchase he made, and wanders back to the royal wing.

Elrond and his two sons meet Thorin as he enters the hall. “Ah! Thorin, do you have a few minutes?” they ask. Thorin nods and leads them into a side room. Thorin sets the bundle in his arms by the bench next to the door, then wanders over to where the elves are standing.

“What can I do for you?” Thorin asks.

“We will need to be getting back to Rivendell soon. I wanted to instruct you and Oin on Jade’s therapies so you both understand how they are to be done.” Elrond tells him.

Thorin frowns. “Why show me?” he inquires, “Would Oin not be better for doing them with her?” Thorin asks.

Elrond gives Thorin a knowing smile. “You know she has feelings for you, Thorin,” Elrond says quietly, “and I know you return those feelings.” He says with a raised eyebrow and a slight smirk.

“If you want to connect with her and help her, I am offering you one way to do so.” He tells the dwarven king. Thorin rubs his chin and nods. “Very well, I’m listening.” He replies.

Elrond and the two sons explain to Thorin the process of treatments for Jade’s recovery. They show him step by step the exercises you will need to do and offer different tips for things he can have you do to gradually build up your strength doing seemingly everyday things.

Thorin sees where they are going with the plan. “So, a combination of obvious exercises with everyday activities that mimic those movements and exercises.” He says.

Elrond smiles and nods. “Exactly. This way she will feel like she is doing her exercises as prescribed, but also getting in normal everyday activities that will continue to add to her strength and mobility. It will give her both something to do and help her feel a part of the community here.” Elrond explains.

Thorin nods and thanks them.

“I will return in four months to see how she is doing. If there are any questions or problems before then, send me word and I will come sooner.” He informs Thorin.

They shake hands and Thorin nods. “thank you, again for your help.” He tells them. They all smile and nod.

Elrond takes his leave, and his sons follow suit. Thorin grins at the thought of helping you regain the ability to walk again. He hopes Elrond’s idea works. Thorin goes to the door and picks up the bundle. He takes it to his chambers and then goes to find Bofur to see if the dwarf can figure out some way to help you begin to lift weights with your arms and legs that can be modified from light weights to heavier ones as you regain your strength.

The two dwarves talk and Bofur makes some basic sketches. They discuss where to put the weight lifting equipment. Thorin suggests someplace near the arena so once you no longer need it, others may be able to use it if they wish.

Bofur tells Thorin he will work on designs and will bring them to him when they are completed. They head down to the arena and look around in the area and settle on a decent size room to use as a weight lifting / rehab room for you.

Thorin thanks Bofur for his help and heads back to the Royal wing. As he passes the gate, he sees a familiar cloak astride a pony leading a small caravan of travelers and merchants back from a trading excursion to the Iron Hills, and Thorin grins.

He waits in the shadows for the cloaked figure to enter. The guards help the travelers dismount and shows them to where their animals can be bedded and where carts can be unloaded. The hooded figure turns and looks around, “And where are my boys?” she asks the guard. “They are in the arena training, my Lady.” He replies.

Just then Thorin quietly steps up behind her and wraps his massive arms around her, pinning them to her side. “And where is your nadad (brother)?” He rumbles in her ear, making her shiver from his tone.

She laughs and tells him, “Off embracing weary travelers and scaring the living daylights out of them with his rumbling voice.” She chuckles as he releases her and spins her to face him. They were nearly the same height and her hair, like his was dark and streaked with silver strands. Her bright blue eyes sparkled with the same mischief as her youngest’s. “Nadad! (Brother!)” she says and rests her forehead against his as they embrace. “Namad (Sister!)” Thorin replies with a smile. “How was the trip?” he asks as she takes a step back and yawns, covering her mouth.

“Tiring. Dain is still a pigheaded idiot and insists on unfair trading demands.” She replies.

“Did you really expect anything else?” Thorin replies laughing as he folds his arms across his broad chest.

Dis smirks. “Nope, that’s why I started the negotiations higher this time and got him down to the amounts and prices we had discussed be fore I left for the trip.” She says with a sly grin. “The fool had no idea what he was doing nor how to negotiate!” she laughed.

Thorin pats her back and replies, “Good. Come, let’s get the boys and get you all cleaned up for dinner. We have guests joining us.” he tells her.

“Oh? Who?” she asks.

Thorin tells her about Jade and her family, and what happened. How they have been caring for her and how Galadrial and Elrond are here helping with Jade’s recovery.

“OH! Well, then I look forward to meeting her!” she says excitedly.

“Dis…” Thorin says quietly and stops in the hallway before the arena doors.

“I put her in Amad’s (Mother’s) chambers. I figured since she was a Master gem carver, she would be able to appreciate Amad’s room more than anyone.” He says quietly. “Amad would’ve loved her, Dis. I think it would make Amad happy to know she is enjoying the room instead of it just sitting empty, only containing dust and old memories no one wants to unpack.” He says quietly.

Dis looks at him pissed at first, but when she hears his reason why, she cools. “Well, I’ll have to take your word for it, brother, since I have not met her yet.” She replies, mildly annoyed at her brother’s actions.” She opens the door to the training arena and charges in, and surprises the two young sons of hers as she joins them in their melee for a few moments.

“AMAD!!!!” they shout when they see her charging into the circle, and laugh when she starts immediately exchanging blows with them as they practice. Thorin watches and laughs at the three of them.

Dwalin appears out of seemingly thin air beside Thorin and says something quietly in Thorin’s ear.

His eyes open wide and he nods. “Dis! I must go, meet us in the Royal dining hall for 7pm!” Thorin calls out. “You too boys!” he says to Kili and Fili. Then he and Dwalin run off.

More Chapters to come.

Likes, comments and Reblogs always welcomed happily! Feel free to leave any of them, just please, give credit where it’s due.

All Gifs were borrowed from the GIF search thingy on Tumblr.

If you wish to be added or removed from the taglist, please send me a message to let me know. If there’s a line through your Pseudonym, Tumblr isn’t letting me tag you.

Tagging:

@lathalea @midnight-reader-morning-sleeper @fizzyxcustard @cavillryarchive @reblog-witchery @daisy-picking-lady @thetherianthropydaily @criminaly-supernatural @piggledyhiggledy @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @xxbyimm @scariusaquarius @thorinthehottotty @blankdblank @asraime @dumbassunderthemountain @ladybugg1235 @crazytxgradstudent @designerwriterchic @emrfangirl

#Thorin and the Gem Carver #Thorin Oakenshield #king thorin #Thorin's Company #thorin fanfiction #Jade the Gem Carver #Dwalin son of Fundin #Lord Elrond #Galadriel #kili durin #fili durin #injury recovery

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ruffboijuliaburnsides · 4 years

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voiceless jaskier au (pt 8)

A full chapter today! Gasp shock awe. This means AO3 has also been updated, if that’s your location of choice to read this :)

Thank you all for reading, and for @humbled-bard specifically bc I got a little inspo boost after seeing the nice thing they said in their reblog tags ^_^ (seriously y’all comments are WRITER FUEL, validation is the good shit that makes us go.)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 9) (Part 10) Now on AO3!

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Mahakam's capital was loud.

It was to be expected, obviously, Jaskier knew that. Geralt had explained, in bits here and there, why exactly they had such a robust signal language. The foundries and bells in Mount Carbon alone had cost a number of workers their hearing, so in turn they'd taken the idea of hand signals and turned it into what was, essentially, a complete language. And that's what he and Geralt were, hopefully, going to learn, so that he could have his words back, if not his music. Jaskier found himself thinking of it more as something to look forward to as time went on, because he had so many. He had stretches when they all choked him trying to escaped or disappeared entirely, and he retreated to foggy drifting or lost an hour or so, staring at nothing while still apparently doing things, but they were coming less often, for less time. Which was good, because Geralt was always frowning and sad when he came back.

Geralt had stopped, the day they finally got to the capital, and put wax in his ears, and Jaskier'd wondered about it right up until they finally actually reached the bridge to the city.

It was so loud even to him, even echoing out the gate and across the Langbridge, that there was no way in hell Geralt would've been able to function, with his witcher senses.

The guards at the gate were suspicious, heavily-armored dwarves who did not look particularly like they'd let them in without a damn good reason and possibly a bribe. Mahakam held her secrets close to the chest, it was how they'd managed to keep such a tight hold on their domination of the iron and steel industries, nevermind weaponsmithing, but it meant that it was extremely difficult to gain access as an outsider, especially for a long-term stay. They'd only managed to get through to even reach Mount Carbon because of Geralt being a witcher, most likely, which didn't bode well for actually getting what they were hoping.

Jaskier hoped Geralt would be able to charm the guards, since the biggest contribution he could hope to provide was a smile that he was pretty confident he couldn't quite get past "crooked and nervous". It really didn't help that Geralt had that "getting ready to argue with someone who doesn't want to pay him" look on his face (and really it infuriated Jaskier, in the back of his mind, that he'd seen that face often enough to recognize it), and now Jaskier was imagining being turned away and refused the opportunity to learn how to let his words out and he couldn't make himself keep walking, and he couldn't breathe--

There was a sudden heavy weight on his shoulder and he startled out of his spiral to find Geralt's hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "It'll be fine," Geralt rumbled, and Jaskier was rather sure for a moment that it was less a promise and more of a threat. Not to him, but to... the guards, Mahakam, the universe at large; Jaskier wasn't sure, but it was reassuring anyway.

Geralt didn't make threats lightly. Not real ones, anyway.

Jaskier managed to find a smile in him, shaky but sincere, and nodded in response, which made something soften fleetingly in Geralt's eyes. He released Jaskier's shoulder and strode forward, leading Roach, Jaskier hanging back a few steps fidgeting with the hem of his doublet and tapping his fingertips against his thumbs to try to get out a little of his excess energy. This is exactly why he'd left his tablets in the saddlebags as they approached - with this level of nervous energy, it probably would've gone flying, and then where would he be?

"On official business?" one of the dwarves asked gruffly as Geralt approached. "Don't remember hearing anyone put out a contract."

"Personal business, actually," Geralt said, coming obligingly to a halt just shy of being threatening. "Had a friend get hit with a curse that's left him mute." he gestured behind him, and Jaskier obligingly waved and tried to smile charmingly. Nope, he could already tell, it was more of that kind of half-sick smile when you're hungover and might vomit and are trying your best not to. Well, he'd tried. Maybe the clear discomfort and nerves would work in their advantage.

It didn't appear to be, however, given the way the guard's eyes narrowed looking at him. "And how's that led you here?" The guard asked Geralt after looking Jaskier over.

"Did a job here a few decades back," Geralt said. "Saw the hand signs some of the deaf folks use. Someone told me it's basically a full language."

The guard only raises an eyebrow, not making any move to give them access to the city. Geralt sighed, frustrated, and made a face that Jaskier knew meant he wanted to pinch the bridge of his knows. It probably didn't help that the sounds were almost certainly piercing even through the wax stoppering his ears.

"Listen," Geralt growled, clearly close to losing his temper, and Jaskier impulsively stepped forward and grabbed his elbow. Geralt looked down at him, startled, and Jaskier smiled encouragingly (crooked and scared, but encouraging). Geralt took a deep breath and turned back to the guard, who seemed to be watching their little interaction with slightly less immediate distrust. "Listen," Geralt repeated, but as a proper word, and not just a shape of snarling. "He's a storyteller. A bard. And he had his voice taken. He needs to be able to communicate. And I need to be able to understand."

It warmed Jaskier's heart a tiny bit, to hear him say that. It's not that he hadn't already known that was the plan - learn this and then go on the road together, because using hand signs wouldn't mean much of anything if there wasn't someone who understood them. Still. Hearing Geralt say he needed to be able to understand Jaskier felt good, even if it wasn't the same kind of need Jaskier wanted it to be.

The guard looked between them for a long moment, then nodded. "You'll have to go speak to the Elder," the guard said. "Make your case." He gestured to two of the other guards, who stepped forward. "They'll take you. Don't stray, witcher." Jaskier started to step forward, before Geralt even could, and the guard cleared his throat. Jaskier stopped, uncertainly flicking his gaze from the guard to Geralt.

Geralt growled, low and soft. "Just me," he said, not even really a question. The guard nodded confirmation that Geralt clearly hadn't needed, and Jaskier felt a sharp spike of panic returning. Geralt turned to Jaskier and held out the reins, which Jaskier took on instinct. "Stay with Roach," he said, clearly irritated. "I won't be long."

But he didn't turn away just yet, eyes scanning Jaskier's face, and then he let out a sharp breath. "Jaskier," he said, his voice suddenly so much softer even though the tight lines of anger still shaped the way he held himself. It helped, to hold on to his name shaped like that from Geralt's mouth, and Jaskier took a deep breath to try to steady himself. "Stay with Roach," he repeated, firm but still so painfully soft in a way that Jaskier couldn't let himself think about. Jaskier nodded, and pressed a hand to Roach's neck to ground himself in the warmth and movement of muscles under her skin.

"Sir witcher!" one of the guards snapped, clearly getting impatient. Geralt grimaced, but still stayed focused on Jaskier.

"Do you need to say anything before I go?" he asked seriously, and Jaskier felt like he had a bonfire in his chest from the question, so pointedly and deliberately in contrast to the last time they'd separated. Jaskier shook his head, then made a shooing motion to get Geralt moving.

He thought, maybe, he caught the ghost of a smile on Geralt's face as he turned to go.

Jaskier turned, before he was out of sight, to press his head to Roach's shoulder, letting her mane tickle at his nose when she turned back to lip at his shirt, looking for the little treats he'd taken to carrying as a way to befriend the particular mare. They were friends now, which he wasn't sure if Geralt liked or not, but he still kept sugar cubes or bits of carrot or apple slices on him a lot. Not today, he wanted to say to her. I'm such an idiot for falling for your master, also. I don't know if my heart can handle much more kindness from him, to finish

"Just a precaution," the guard Geralt had spoken with said after Geralt and his chaperones had disappeared out of sight into the mountain, and Jaskier was unprepared to process anyone else speaking.

He frowned slightly and tilted his head at the guard as he pulled his forehead from where he'd rested it on Roach. Should he get his tablet, he wondered, or was that clear enough for people who didn't know him? What did that mean? Were they about to shackle him or something?

"Outsiders who haven't been invited," the guard clarified, his tone more conversational than he'd been with Geralt. "One of the party can, with good reason, make their case to the Elder to be granted leave to stay, either in the city itself or in Mahakam in general. Be a bit difficult for you or the horse to make it, so..."

Realization hit him like a wave of warm relief, pouring down his head and shoulders, and he sagged a bit with it. The guard was trying to be reassuring, had seen Jaskier's stress at being separated from Geralt in such an uncertain situation. And Geralt was fine, because it was normal to send people in alone to see their Elder, to help keep their secrets. He flashed a grateful smile to the guard, then glanced around for an out-of-the-way place to wait for Geralt to get back.

There really wasn't one, since the gates were at the end of a long stone bridge, and Roach could probably stand to have a little time to graze. Jaskier waved a little to get the guard's attention, though he didn't seem to need to, as the guard was attentive as soon as he'd turned back to them. He wasn't sure if it was him doing his job or him trying to make things easier for Jaskier. Jaskier gestured to himself and Roach, then pointed back down the bridge, then mimed... well, sleeping, even if he meant rest.

"Should be safe enough for you and the horse to be out there," the guard said, nodding. "We've patrols that'll come by fairly regular. I'll let your witcher know you're out there, when he comes back out."

Jaskier nodded gratefully, waved again, and started to walk Roach back across the bridge, trying not to feel a thrum of pleasure at hearing Geralt described as his witcher.

The grass was sparse, when they got to the area past the bridge, but Roach seemed happy enough with it. Jaskier knew she was well-behaved but tied her reins to a low tree branch anyway, just in case. The view was beautiful, mountains and distant mines and the faint echo of the foundries barely reaching him on the wind.

It was so silent that each noise there was felt amplified, the soft creak of Roach's saddle as she shifted, the crunching of grass in her teeth, the wind rushing past him, his heartbeat in his ears. It was somehow so much despite being not much of anything at all. He'd always drowned out the silence with music and song. It helped him focus his wandering thoughts, gave him something to narrow the world to so that he didn't try to hear and think everything, and it hadn't been too bad until the last couple of days, as the fog in his mind stopped rolling in. As much as he'd hated the feeling of not being able to think at all... well, it had forced his mind to not go into overdrive. And even if he wasn't talking, somehow Geralt's presence helped offset it all.

He grimaced as Roach moved one of her feet, the sound of the ground under her hoof jarring and sharp, and rubbed his thumb over his fingers.

His lute case sat strapped to Roach's saddle, and even though the thought of playing without being able to sing still sat like molten iron in his stomach and ribs, he was going to have some kind of meltdown if he had to sit here in silence until Geralt came back.

He unstrapped it slowly, handling it gingerly, like it might burn him, then sat on a rock and, carefully, so carefully, unlatched the case and lifted his lute out and set it in his lap.

It shouldn't feel strange for Jaskier to hold his lute, but it did. It had only been a few weeks, but he hadn't played once. He couldn't remember a day between first really learning the lute and the djinn that he hadn't played at least a little, and yet here he was, feeling almost like he wasn't allowed to play.

He glanced over at Roach for encouragement. She didn't seem at all interested in anything he was doing. Well thanks for the help, he thought, and went through the familiar movements of beginning to get his lute in tune. He started to hum a familiar, long-practiced note to help him quickly get the first string in tune, and his hands stilled.

It was such a little thing, he thought, suddenly clutching the lute like it was the only thing tethering him to the mountain. It was such a little thing to both forget and be this upset over. He didn't need to hum, he knew the tuning as well as he knew the feeling of swirling thoughts in his mind when it was starting to race. But he couldn't quite bring himself to continue after that.

It was such a little thing to be this upset by.

(He was such a little thing without his voice.)

He didn't want to be this upset, but tears started to streak down his cheeks anyway. He couldn't move, until one landed on the lute itself, and he instinctively used his sleeve to dry the spot, and then he could move again, and but the lute - a bit too roughly - back in its case, not bothering to properly close or latch it.

Then he turned his back on it and sat on the rock, swiping bitterly at his tears, and waited.

It probably wasn't that long before Jaskier heard footsteps on the path behind him and Roach nickered in that way she only did for Geralt, maybe an hour at most. It had felt like days. Jaskier had evolved from sitting and staring into the distance trying not to cry to throwing rocks into the distance and trying not to cry.

Geralt didn't say anything. Jaskier could swear he felt Geralt's eyes burning on him, standing next to the lute case while Jaskier bent down for another rock to fling inexpertly into the trees further down the mountain. But he didn't say anything, not about the lute or the meeting with the Elder or anything, and Jaskier wished he would, wished he would break the damn silence, because he couldn't.

Instead, he heard the soft sounds of his lute being properly seated in its case, the case being latched, and carried over to Roach. Jaskier threw another rock, and the faint sound of the rock's landing was blocked by the sounds of Roach's packs being re-tied and adjusted, to secure the lute in place.

Why wasn't Geralt saying anything?

Jaskier threw another rock.

"Your technique's shit," came Geralt's voice rumbling low right behind him. Jaskier jumped, startled that Geralt had gotten so close without him hearing, and Geralt's hand shot out to steady him so he wouldn't fall. He pressed his hand over his heart and glowered at Geralt, so the witcher would know exactly how much he did not appreciate being startled like that.

Geralt didn't seem to be bothered, just looked down at him with an expression that, for once, Jaskier had no idea how to read. Jaskier's glower faltered. Geralt put another rock in his hand and turned him around to face the direction he'd been. "Pull your arm back like this," Geralt said, nudging Jaskier's arm into the right position. Jaskier felt like he couldn't breathe, for once in a way that was entirely delicious. Geralt stilled for a second, probably assessing Jaskier's form, then backed off a few steps.

"Okay," Geralt rumbled. "Now lead with your elbow."

Might as well, Jaskier thought, and threw.

The rock went easily half again as far as any of the others Jaskier had thrown, and frankly, he was a little proud of that. He turned to Geralt with a grin, to see that same unreadable expression on it as before, but with the tiniest quirk of a smile.

"We'll work on it," he said, untied Roach's reins, and started down the road. "Come on. We're staying in a village an hour or so away. They've got some folks who teach." Jaskier trotted a bit to match Geralt's long stride, feeling almost - finally - like he wasn't drowning at all.

It didn't occur to him for a good half an hour that with one rock Geralt had, quite effectively, distracted him from his frustration and anger.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 9) (Part 10) Now on AO3!

#the witcher #geraskier #geralt #jaskier #voiceless jaskier au #ayhwa #now with fixed links to the other parts #since I changed my URL lol

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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“I’m a dick, I’m addicted to you”

Do you add extra letters to words sometimes? (ex. haaaa) Yeahhh.

Do you like the letter Z or Q better? I don’t favor one over the other. Who would you like to be stuck on an island with? I’d like to not be stuck on an island at all. What's your favorite quote? I have a lot of favorite quotes. I just love relatable stuff that puts into words how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking better than I can. I struggle with expressing myself and putting it into words, so. Name one random fact about your best friend. She loves the ID channel.

Do you like vegetables or fruit better? Gonna be honest, I don’t eat much of either one. Especially, fruit... it’s been a few years since I’ve had any. :X I have spinach, potatoes, and green onions pretty often, but that’s all the veggies I’ve had in a few years as well. In comparison to my zero fruit intake it’s something at least, ha. There are fruits I like and a few more veggies as well, but I just haven’t had them in awhile. What brand of shoes do you wear? Adidas. What's your favorite smiley face? On the computer I use :) Do you believe that if someone goes to bed thinking of u, u dream of them? I’ve heard that before and it can be a cute thought, but nah. Have you ever snitched on someone for cheating? No. Do you own a Snuggie? I do. What's your favorite number? 8. Which of the 7 dwarves are you most like from Snow White? Sleepy. What's the last movie you watched? Dumb and Dumber yesterday. What's your favorite month? October and December.

“I’m alright”

Do you like the smell of campfires? Yesss. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? I don’t know. Do you like eggnog? Yes. Is there a song out right now that you can't stand? I haven’t heard any new music recently. I haven’t been listening to music lately. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you pick? I’d be fine if I just stayed 31 here on out. What's your favorite state? I like my state the best out of the few states I’ve been to (the others being Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia). There’s a few I’d like to visit that could potentially take the top spot for me, though. Have you ever went in public with your tag still on your clothes? I don’t think so.

Would you say your loud or shy? I’m quiet and shy. What's your favorite symbol on the computer? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of clowns? Pennywise is awesome. Do you wear glasses? I do. Ever rode on a horse? Just on one at the pumpkin patch as a kid. Poor horse, guided around in a circle all day. Do you have trouble saying or spelling some words? I think I spell pretty well. I stumble over my words when I talk sometimes, but I think my pronunciation is pretty good. Have you ever thought something was just to good to be true? Many times. And when I think that, it’s usually true. Do you like potatoes? I love potatoes.

“I’m in trouble, I’m an addict, I’m addicted to this girl”

Are you random? My thoughts and dreams are really random, but I wouldn’t describe myself that way. I’d say I’m predictable and boring. Do you believe that aliens are real? I don’t know. Certainly not the weird looking green creatures that are usually depicted for some reason. Do you sleep with the TV on? I do. I’ve done that ever since I was a kid. What's the longest you've slept in? Like 5PM or so. Have you ever seen a hairy toe? Yes. What's the last thing you watched on TV? Roseanne this morning. Do you have a song stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Who do you talk to the most? My mom and brother. What's the first thing you get on when the internet comes up? When the internet comes up oh man, was this made in the late 90s, early 2000s? lol. The first thing I do when I get on my laptop is continue scrolling through my Tumblr feed or do a survey. When's the last time you were sick? I’ve been sick with something for the past week. And no, it’s not the rona.

Which is your favorite: Music, Dogs, Shoes, Books, Jonas Brother? I love a variety of music, I love doggos in general, but I’m biased towards Labs and German Shepherds, Adidas are my favorite shoes, and back in my die hard Jonas Brothers days I was a total Joe girl. What color is your hair brush? Rose gold. Do you enjoy arcades? I did when I was a kid. We used to have one at my mall back when I was a kid that was a fun place to go. And Chuck E Cheese, ha. Have you ever liked 2 people at once? Yes. Have you taken a nap today? Not so far.

“show me the meaning of being lonely”

Would you ever want to be in a horror movie? I think it’d certainly come off as believable because I’m such a scardy cat and super jumpy. Being chased would genuinely scare me even it was acting. Even knowing what was going to happen I know I’d still be jumpy. Only thing is I don’t have the scream down that you gotta have for a horror movie. Have you ever been to Washington D.C? Nope. Do you hate when girls have guyish names and boys have girly names? I really don’t care. Have you lost or gained any weight since February? I know I haven’t gained any weight. I’ve probably lost some weight, which is really not good for someone who’s already underweight. Have you ever felt like no one wanted to be around you? Yes. I don’t even want to be around me. I often feel like I’m such a burden and annoyance. It’s my own thinking and feeling, though. My family doesn’t do or say anything to make me feel that way. I have had other people make me feel that way, though. Have you ever had to use a pay phone? Yes. Have you listened to music today? Nope. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to music, actually. Do you only drink bottled water? Yes. Don’t judge me. I bet someone is on your mind right now, right? No, actually. Do you like writing in pen or pencil better? Pen, definitely. What's the last magazine you bought? I don’t even remember it’s been so long. Has anyone in your family ever forgot your birthday? My parents, brother, and close family members always remember. Was it any of your friends birthday in the past week? My older brother’s birthday was a couple days ago. Is anyone else in the same room as you? Nope. Are you one of the popular people in your grade? I’m done with school, but no I was never popular.

“you never call me when you’re sober”

What word best describes you in the dictonary? ”Depressed”, “Awkward”, “Lame”, “Loser”, “Ugly”... Do you like Soy Milk? Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant. I use that or almond milk. I don’t drink any kind of milk by itself, but I use those in stuff like coffee drinks and cereal. And for dunking my cookies and brownies in. Where were you at 10:30am yesterday? Right here in bed where I spent all weekend. I was having a really rough weekend. I felt really shitty and had zero energy. I couldn’t even drag myself outta bed for coffee, so that’s how you know I was feeling really bad. Thankfully, my mom and brother brought me a Starbucks. Do you think ghosts are real? I believe in spirits, but not actual Caspers. Do you know anyone who has been attacked by a shark? No. What is your best friend's mom name? Lupe. Have you ever made out in a movie theatre? No. What part of your body do you wash first? My arms and work my way down. Do you have an innie or an outie? Innie. How do you think the dinosaurs died? An asteroid. What's your favorite flavor of Pringles? Sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, pizza, and ranch. What was the last thing you got grounded for? Something when I was like 12. Did you go to a water park last summer? I don’t go to the water park ever. What shoe do you put on first? I think the right. Finish the sentence: Girls.. Just wanna have fun.

“I think we’re alone now”

Have you ever had a song or poem written about you? No. Did you have a nickname growing up? My family called my Noodles, ha. When was the last time you played the air guitar? I don’t know. Have you ever biten your toenail? Ew, no. I’m not flexible enough to even do that, but I would never want to so it’s fine. Have you ever been dared to do something that you regretted? No. I didn’t do dares. Favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? Probably the incident that made me a paraplegic at 7 months old. That’s certainly top of the list. Best thing that has happened to you? My doggos are definitely amongst the top. Best friend? My mom. If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? I dye it red and would like to continue to do so. Do you have a wii? It’s my brother’s, but since we live in the same house and I’ve used it, too, I’m gonna say yes. Most used phrase on IM? I don’t remember, it’s been over a decade since I’ve used IM. Have you ever heard of The Beatles? Of course. Have you ever wanted to give money to a charity? Yes, and I have given to charities.

“Who says you’re not beautiful?”

Would you ever want to have 14 kids? Uh, noooo. I don’t even want one. Are you wearing any bracelets right now? Nope. Do you have any jewelry that once belonged to an old family member? No. Do you dream every night? I usually do. Give me on of your goals Just taking it day by day. Do you like skinny jeans? Yeah, those are the only jeans I have. Do you ever say stuff that you don’t mean? It happens. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? Yeah, but that was back when I was 16 and felt pressured into saying it back to my boyfriend at the time even though I didn’t have those feelings. Ever since then I haven’t thrown those words around lightly. What is your dream guy/girl? A patient, understanding, caring, loving, trustworthy, good sense of humor kind of guy. Do you hate when people overract? I can definitely be one of those people that overreact. And I know I’m overreacting when it’s happening, but I can’t help myself. I sometimes see people in situations where I’m like, ‘omg, they’re totally overreacting’ and think it could be handled differently, but yet I do the same thing. When was the last time you used the oven? It’s been awhile, actually... I don’t remember. Have you ever wanted to be free like a bird? ”And I’m as free as a bird now... and this bird you cannot change.” Are you a worrier? Oh am I ever. Does your house have an attic? Nope. Are you going fishing this weekend? No. I don’t go fishing.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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blankdblank · 5 years

Text

Oddities

Prompts 27-29 - Calum Scott - What I Miss Most lyrics included

@annwoods91, @sherala007, @lilith15000, @himoverflowers, @alishlieb, @deepestfirefun

“Above all things, be kind.” The maddening words to the Dwarves were scrawled across the case of an absurd looking instrument next to the body of a woman they had found when finding a stream to bathe in. In pairs they kept watch over her until she woke an hour after the last had bathed and dinner was nearly done. Tall and clearly starved, half beaten and bloody herself she accepted Oin’s supervised aiding in inspecting her wounds in a bird bath to keep her from fully submerging in the frigid waters. A dunk of the top of her head had mint green curls exposed and wound up into a twitch inducing crooked braid laid by her hands with taped and badly bruised and scraped fingers.

She wouldn’t speak about what was done to her, but a glance at the road she had come from in search of food leading to her passing out here had her scooting closer to the burly albeit shorter group of men far too grumpy to be messed with. She wasn’t dangerous, not to their eyes, a gypsy or bard of some sort when the case was opened and the guitar inside was named. Clearly no danger and by her wounds none of the men would dare leave the young lass out here on her own. It was no trouble, no question at all about it, they would protect her, not knowing how truly absurd they would find their new companion to be.

With a wide grin she crept up to a dandelion on her knees muddying her torn black jeans and the front of her badly scuffed boots with a peanut in hand. Atop the flower a small field mouse froze only to sit open mouthed seeing her passing the nut to him. In its paws it clutched the nut and let out a giddy squeak of joy drawing huffs from Dwalin and Gloin while Thorin stood atop a rock staring at the map in his hands muttering, “Well, that´s just maddeningly unhelpful. Why are these things never clear?”

Bilbo neared his side and corrected the map in his hands earning a nod from Thorin who then turned to see his cousins watching the lass in the field. “What’s going on?”

Dwalin shrugged, “I have no idea, go ask them,”

Gloin, “Asked for a nut then crawled out there.”

Stepping around them Thorin crossed the distance between you and peered down at the mouse snacking away on the nut then looked to you in your upward glance in settling back on your knees, “Hi.”

Lowly he replied, “Hello. What are you doing?”

“Gloin complained he had too many peanuts left and I asked for one when the guys came to split them.”

“And you gave it to a mouse?”

“Well I can’t eat it. I’d blow up like a puffer fish.” Standing up his head tilted back and he sighed content to see the continued meals had finally helped in gaining some more firmness to her build under her still far from comfortably baggy shirt and jacket she’d had in her arrival. “Are we heading out?”

Thorin nodded his head to the side turning back to the group, “Not long now, just have to wait on the boys returning with the water skins.”

Fili crouched above the box he had pulled from the bag the pair had slipped from the pile curious to see more about the odd thing. Opening the lid his heart skipped at the broken hinge making the lid slide back Kili hastily secured so they could peek inside. The odd spiked cylinder secured under what looked like a comb, both badly tarnished and had the pair puzzled and Fili mumbled, “It’s broken.”

“Yes, I know it´s broken! Why it is broken?” Kili asked, “And what is all this metal?”

“I don´t know,”

Shifting the box again Kili asked, “Why is uncle Dwalin’s name on this?” tapping the runes on the tarnished plaque on the front in the middle of a thunderstorm design etched into the dark wood.

A distant call from the camp had the pair closing the box they put back in the lass’ bag they gathered up with all the water skins and set back next to the pile with more questions than they had half an hour prior.

Escaping the Trolls was nothing, only avoiding the northern strip of the Misty Mountains you had found yourselves stumbling literally into the goblin hoard Moria had become. How they survived the crowd of Goblins was a mystery, all the men remembered was her inhale to scream before their eyes rolled back and they dropped to the ground. All waking up curiously enough in the much cleaner now emptied Dwarf Kingdom, sitting up to find her stirring a pot of stew wile the ponies sat contently nibbling on the apples from the wagon of goods most likely stolen form the Elves in Lothlorien nearby.

Sideways glances at each silent shrug in response to what had happened only worsened matters of if you truly were dangerous behind that aloof smile and quiet demeanor with near to constant hums though irritating at first came to remind them of the happy things they hoped for when home was reached. Bringing the wagon with them the forest was reached and off skipping while the others had rested she went and clearly the Dwarves could hear her calling out to the Elves, “Hello?!”

Dwalin, “Pluto, get back here now.”

After a sigh she called out, “We found one of your wagons! We’re leaving but we brought it back for you. Ok, bye now! I like your trees!” Trotting off again when she reached the Dwarves she received raised brows and curious glances.

Dwalin, “I like your trees?”

“Well you can’t see much else.”

Chuckling to himself Thorin said, “The rains have cleared, come now before you have us surrounded.”

“Oh I doubt they’d do that.” Onto the ponies they all climbed with her hopping up on Gandalf’s abandoned horse while a mile above the Elf patrol watched on the branches above as the group left. Waiting until they were all gone and the wagon was inspected mostly in tact with only a tiny portion used including a smirk inducing promissory repayment note from the alleged Pluto in question that 28 apples had been taken for the ponies in the trek through Moria. All around it the Elves gathered and guided it back through the forest to show to their Lord explaining the letter from Rohan that the one they had left on their borders as per the usual agreement was not there.

Through the window Dwalin’s eyes caught a familiar flash of green and in the muffled wiggle of the window up the inch it would go through a faked cough attack from Nori Dwalin whispered to the young Lass, “Pluto, go to the Iron Hills, get Dain!” Up onto the ledge a stamp was passed to her along with a map from Gloin and down she hopped closing the window again. Through the city she crept using the mist and a slingshot Ori had loaned her a week prior to fire off stones to distract guards until a grin inducing barge was spotted.

Away from the barge a man strode using the shadowy cover from a walkway above to avoid the sprinkle of rain coming down and the men coming from another walkway she did not notice. Into the path of the hidden man she didn’t know she stood wide eyed at him until the other duo was in sight and she tugged the man into a brain numbing kiss with a firm grip on his jacket turning his body to use as cover. A low grumble came from the used man who panted for air at the end of the kiss while she confirmed the men were out of sight. A quick peck on his cheek later and she said, “Thank you, bye.” Rushing for the barge.

Blinking for a few moments he watched her back then whisper shouted, “Hey! Hey!” chasing after her as quietly as he could only to see her slide on the dock in a try to stop and fall right over the edge of the barge with a pained squeak. Leaning over it he said, “Hey! This is my barge!”

“Cool, up for some spare silver?”

Narrowly his eyes scanned over her and he bent to untie the barge then pointed at her, “You stay where I can see you, at the other end of the barge. No more kissing.”

A mock salute in her slide to the far end of the deck had his brows furrowing again in his guiding the barge out hoping this wouldn’t take long enough for his kids to become concerned. Silently she sat with her chin on the edge of the boat floating away from the city imprisoning her companions, a fact oblivious to the man who asked, “Is this what you do? Sneak into floating cities and then kiss strangers and try to steal their barges?”

Turning her head she replied as his eyes locked on her stunning mint green eyes, “Never been to a floating city before.”

“So that’s a yes to the kissing strangers and stealing barges?”

“No, you’re the first.”

“How flattering.” He replied sarcastically peering out into the mist. “Why my barge? Who are you running from?”

“Only barge I could find, and not running from but to.”

“Meaning?”

“Exactly what I said. Running to find someone.”

“And who might that be?”

“Someone named Dain.”

“Someone-, you don’t know who you’re running to?”

“Nope.”

“Then why?!”

“Because I need them to help my friends.”

“Uh huh. And who are your friends?”

“Doubt you would know them.”

“Try me.”

“How many Dwarves do you know?”

“None.”

“My point exactly.”

Turning forward again she watched the distant shore come into sight and a few feet from the shore he asked, “Are you certain in going off alone?”

“Yup.” With a nod She stood brushing down her forest green tunic held down with a vest Ori had knitted for her matching her scarf in magenta contrasting her black pants and jacket though not far from her oddly near burnt orange and brown boots the Dwarves had cobbled for her in Moria. Curls bounced around her body in her leap off the boat after tossing a pouch of coins at him, “Thank you!” Blinking at her he watched the continued race off into the foggy void then turned uncertain of what this odd night had brought into his life heading back home again hoping to get back without anyone else trying to steal his barge.

Three days of running and a half stumbling slide off a boulder brought her right into the path of the Dwarf she was trying to catch up to, “Hey!” Up onto her feet she popped and with a wide grin she said, “Hi, I have a message for a Dain, from King Thorin and his kin.”

Curiously the Dwarf looked her over saying, “Hand over your weapons.”

Glancing down she said, “Um, I got this,” in a reach into her jacket she brought out a slingshot she tried to hand over he curiously took wondering why anyone would come here without more than a slingshot and turned guiding her ahead of him back to the hidden front gates.

Nearly a mile of halls alter and into a kind of throne room she was led straight up to a fiery haired Dwarf with tusks in his mustache. All the eyes in the room looked over the odd woman in their midst who flashed him a wide smile, inhaling sharply the Dwarf spoke stating, “My guard tells me you were sent with a message for, a Dain, from King Thorin and his kin?”

“Yes.” She replied.

His brows inched up a moment in her silence and he asked, “What is the message?”

“Help.”

He blinked again, “Help?”

She nodded saying, “The Master of Laketown has taken them prisoner.” After a moment her smile dropped and she said, “Ooh, right, Dwalin said to give you this.” The seal was brought out and he looked it over before turning to shout orders in Khuzdul clearing the room most likely in search of weapons leaving her looking around and saying, “I’ll, wait here…” in a glance at the same guard left to watch her she said with a smile, “Hi, I’m Pluto, what’s your name?”

“Brunn,”

“Aww, I knew a Brunn once. Used to shovel down sunflowers like no other. Till he sneezed one out of his nose then he couldn’t look at them without shivering.”

A call from Dain broke the awkward silence after that, “Lass, we’ve a goat saddled for you.”

“Ah,” crossing the distance she asked, “How big is the goat? I’d hate to be too heavy for it.”

That made Dain look her over, “Lass, no offence, but I could sneeze you across the room.”

“That sounds like a painful sneeze.”

Blinking up at her he stepped back motioning to the goat staring at the odd woman in the middle of the sea of Dwarves, “Your goat. Just don’t kick him.”

“Oh, I would never kick him! Look at that face! Who could kick you?” She said stroking his snout in her move to the saddle she climbed up onto making sure to tuck up her legs with the stirrups to keep from dragging the ground and away from the goat’s legs.

The Master’s voice could be heard through the creaking board built prison the men could easily escape, but without their weapons the supposed allies they had made who had gotten them plastered and stole all their things while she had tried to catch up with them after being separated trying to find Bilbo who had gone missing on the edge of the forest days prior, she was now their only hope to escape and continue on to Erebor. “We cannot risk the beast waking.”

Lowly Dwalin growled out, “Come on Pluto.”

Thorin asked, “Was Bilbo with her?”

Dwalin shook his head, “No, but maybe she had stashed him somewhere.”

Nori, “Should have given her a weapon.”

Fili, “All I have is this useless boomerang.”

Dori, “That’s a stuck hinge.”

Fili, “Not if you’re desperate enough.”

Gloin, “Where did you get that?”

Fili’s lips pursed a moment shifting his right arm a bit out to his side, “Found it.” Making the elders’ brows furrow a moment before a loud horn sounded stirring smiles on the faces of the Dwarves.

The Master, “What is that?” Muffled voices sounded in the masses following the Master to inspect.

Dain’s voice called out echoing across the lake, “You have ten minutes to free our kin and their belongings or we’ll blast your little island off its stilts!”

Dwalin, “There she is!”

Dain leaned over asking, “Lass, which building were they in?”

Peering over the city she pointed, “That yellowish looking flower pot, under the balcony to the left of that.”

Dain nodded giving the order to load up one of the spike shooters she eyed before it’s firing off a giant spear that split open with spiraling tails that crashed through the roof of an empty store room, “FIVE MINUTES!”

“Bard! Bard!” Out of his house the frazzled half dressed man catching the coat his daughter tossed him to cover his long johns he tugged his trousers and boots on over he watched the group of Dwarves being loaded into his barge with piles of bags and things being dumped into that as well earning shouts from the Dwarves including yours.

“What is this?!” Bard shouted only to be shoved into the barge.

Master, “Get to rowing! Now!”

Barge turned rolling his eyes, “First the broad now this lot…” a hard shove and he guided the barge off towards the Dwarves in the distant shore.

“Ooh, hey, I know him.” Dain glanced at the woman pointing at the barge only to drop her hand looking Dain over, “The bargeman.”

Dain nodded and looked back again, “At least the cowards released them easily.”

“Well there’s not much city to defend. Looks like a tinder box.”

Dain, “I meant so we don’t wake Smaug.”

Her hand swatted and she said, “Ah, Durin’s Bane was tons more dangerous than that glorified pigeon could be.”

Dain’s eyes flinched wider as did the Dwarves behind them in his asking, “You faced Durin’s Bane?”

To which she nodded then turned waving at the Dwarves who waved at her.

Up to the shore the barge pulled and the fully restocked and armed Dwarves gathered their bags and hopped out nearing their relatives while Dwalin accepted the seal and map you offered. “Knew you could do it.”

“Not that hard,”

With a wave to the man on the barge his expression dropped and he said, “You stay there. You have your friend and I hope to never kiss you again.” Turning the barge on his path back.

Balin, “Who kissed him?”

“Bye Bargeman, thank you again!”

Bard, “Never again!”

Dwalin turned his head to look up at her seeing her flash him another grin as he asked, “Kiss?”

“I needed a distraction.”

Dwalin, “Distraction! You were meant to be fetching Dain! Not smooching with the boatman!”

“Barge, and it wasn’t a distraction for me, to keep me out of the sight of another pair of guys.”

Dwalin’s eyes narrowed and a loud roar had her head turn and slide off the saddle with a swing of her leg over the front of it. On her feet she walked in front of the goats while the Dwarves grouped up only for Kili to shout when she was a good twenty feet away, “Pluto!”

The gates were thrown open and between them Smaug stood releasing a roar in her continued path onwards watched by the Dwarves and Bard in his barge. The spear shooters were realigned to possibly hit Smaug and clambering across the field trying to take flight his golden eyes focused on her as she said to the group behind her, “Cover your ears.”

Curiously the Dwarves plugged their ears with their fingers deafly watching her inhale deeply then in a mild blurring of their vision a faint blood curtling scream from her at Smaug’s first flap of his wings they watched his body turning to stone then crumbling to dust when it hit the earth dropping their jaws. Echoes of the ringing lingered in the field and curiously in the sea of unaffected goats and boars until a miming to drop their hands had the cautious Dwarves approaching her. Dwalin, “You screamed?! That is how you cleared Moria and those trolls?”

With a nod she said, “Yup.” In a dramatic curtsy making Thorin roll his eyes she said, “Your Majesty. Welcome home.”

Dwalin came closer passing her the bags and guitar case of hers he had grabbed saying, “You are too much sometimes.”

“I know.” She replied in a giggle making him roll his eyes.

…

Into the mountain deep in the dark of the barren forges across the table chosen lit by the burning forges she had magically somehow lit the Dwarves did not want to know how she sat alone focusing on the dismantled mystery box. Hours prior the Dwarves had all gone to bed in the Royal Wing after passing on news that the Mountain was won. Soundly they slumbered while she snuck the box up to Dwalin’s room. Contently missed by his thunderous snores covering any minor fumbles while Thorin dreamed of his stone being discovered by his little love at sunrise in the bed next door.

Down the overlook she snuck singing to herself in crossing the open plain towards the forest in a teetering path across the uneven rocky ground.

It must have been a year since

I was thrown across an ocean far from home

Life is making no sense

Riding in between the highs and lows

Ooh when I wake in the morning I ooh

It's the first on my mind

In a skip she entered the forest and trailed the path coated with leaves and twigs and gnarling branches trying to snatch at her ankles. Miles and miles she skipped still singing the same song with eyes shifting over the forest to take in the sights around her. At a river blocking her path enchanted and untouchable up onto a gnarled root she hopped accepting she had reached the end of her path making her draw out her guitar.

Maybe what I miss most

It wasn't made of steel and stone

And maybe what I miss most

It wasn't born of skin and bone

Under the sun above the waves

Under three crowns when I'm far away

Maybe what I miss most

And maybe you'll never know

Maybe you'll never know

“Pluto!” Bilbo from his under tree hideaway from the spiders he had been taken by whispered and shot out from his dug hole and down the path following the noise glad to hear his friend had come for him, hopefully with a bag of food to share with him.

Life beyond the window

I'm jealous of the way that black bird flies

Free among the people

Those quarter million stories pass me by

Ooh lie awake in the moonlight I ooh

It's the last on my mind

Atop his Elk he Elf King froze as did the guards around him on his own round of patrols, all who turned to inspect the source of the song wondering how long the bard had been roaming through their forest to sing out for attention.

And maybe what I miss most

It wasn't made of steel and stone

And maybe what I miss most

It wasn't born of skin and bone

Under the sun above the waves

Under three crowns when I'm far away

Maybe what I miss most

And maybe you'll never know

I remember at the table

All those faces where did they go?

I imagine what it looks like

When I'm not there

I remember every summer

But now the years are just a number

There's no backwards

Time is faster with everything I've left behind oh

All at once hooves sounded and she still continued singing and strumming along keeping an eye out for Bilbo or any threats. Yet only falling leaves were seen for the longest time until around a tall curve of trees came a giant Elk with a blonde Elf atop it in dark green armored robe, pants and boots standing out by only his hair with brunette Elves similarly dressed on horses behind him. A final verse sounded out from her in hearing the nearing pants from the other direction.

But maybe what I miss most

It wasn't made of steel and stone

And maybe what I miss most

It wasn't born of skin and bone

'Cause under the sun above the waves

Under three crowns when I'm far away

Maybe what I miss most

In a single bound at her hand folding around the neck of her guitar silencing their strings that fell silent at the group of steeds landing on the other side of the river. Turning around to face her fully the steeds fanned out and the blonde bowed his head and looked her over as she smiled saying, “Hi. You haven’t seen a Hobbit, have you?”

Flatly he replied, “No. Have you lost your companions? I was not aware the Hobbits from Lothlorien were traveling here this early in the season or we would have escorted them personally.”

“There are Hobbits in Lothlorien? I didn’t see them when we passed through. And no, most of the Company is in Erebor, I am looking for our Burglar Hobbit Bilbo.”

For a moment his eyes narrowed, “Burglar Hobbit?”

A turn of her head later at the crunching of leaves and soft pants came to an end at Bilbo coming into view shouting out, “Pluto!” In a giggle she hopped down setting her guitar in the case that closed at the weight of it and she accepted his crashing hug, “I knew, oh it was awful!” he pulled back exhaling sharply, “Spiders! Like I’ve never seen! Massive, couldn’t even fit inside, well you haven’t seen my home yet, but, woah.” His head turned and he eyed the Elves, “Hello.”

The blonde again bowed his head to the Hobbit, “Hello. I take it you are this woman’s, Burglar, Hobbit?”

Bilbo wet his lips and nodded with his free hand fidgeting around the hilt of his dagger, “Well, yes. Are you lost as well?”

The blonde blinked and replied, “No. I live here.” Again he looked to her asking, “You stated your companions are in Erebor?”

“Yes.”

He looked the pair over again then stated after dismounting his Elk, “We will escort you to Greenwood for a proper meal and nights rest before escorting you both back to Erebor.”

Two of the brunettes took hold of the bags and case with one accepting Bilbo up behind him while the blonde lifted her up onto the saddle of his Elk then climbed up behind her. Around her his arms settled and his eyes flinched to her in her saying, “I’m Pluto. What’s your name?”

A bit stunned he replied, “Thranduil.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” she said in the Elk’s readying circle to bound back across the river again.

It didn’t take long until they were outside an endless wall around the palace with gates opened for the whole group luring curious stares from the Elves inside on the path to the stables. The pair were helped down and bags gathered for them to be led to the bathhouse and a dinner after with Thranduil and another Elf with blonde hair and eyes just a shade darker than his. Five helpings for the odd pair in a confusing conversation confirming they were among the Company of Dwarves who had passed through Lothlorien a few weeks past now owing Lord Celeborn a laughable 28 apples and off to the guest apartment chosen for the pair. Escorted by Thranduil to the door Bilbo hurried in and the stunned blonde stood wide eyed in the toe top hug from the mint haired woman now latched around his chest who released him saying, “Good night.” A quick bounce had a peck landing on his cheek and she stepped aside through the door saying, “Sleep tight,” closing the door behind herself.

Frozen for a moment the now blushing King inhaled sharply and turned to head down the hall passing the confused Tauriel asking, “My King, is everything alright?”

In a cracked whisper he replied, “I had assumed it was. Now, I am not certain of anything.” His response had her turning to watch him walk straight to the hall where his apartment was.

Sunrise came and rolling over in a waking snort Dwalin’s eyes cracked open only to widen seeing a polished wooden box with a plaque bearing his name on it. Hurriedly he went to light the fire again then brought the box over to the fire eyeing the storm design in awe before opening the box seeing the shimmering golden music rod inside. A timid crank later and a tear stirring lullaby from his Amad had his palm clasping across his mouth muffling his mournful sob having remembered losing her and their father in the fall of Erebor. Heavily through the door Balin bustled and froze seeing the box playing the tune blurring his vision with tears. Over to his brother’s side he went dropping heavily to share in the moment only to find nine more tunes trapped in the rod, including a traditional tune to be passed down for weddings and births for the matriarch of their line to perform as a blessing.

Sniffling together the pair eyed the card tucked under the band inside the lid, once propped up revealed a portrait of their family and the pair as children with matching mohawks. Inside the card read simply in their Gran’s runes,

‘For my precious Storm Cloud, marking the reach of the boulder phase for your sons, a marker of our past and future of the Longbeard clan. May mountains, boulders and steams always guard your dreams,

All my love,

Amad.’

Balin, “Where did you find this?”

Dwalin shook his head now seeing Balin’s name on the plaque on the right side of the box with their parents on the rim of the lid, “It was on my beside table.”

Out to the others it was taken and the young Princes gasped and Kili said, “So that’s what it was!”

Dwalin looked him over, “Pardon me? You’ve seen this?”

Fili nodded, “It was in Pluto’s bag. All busted and tarnished.”

Balin, “Pluto?”

Dain, “How would she have come into possession of this?”

Thorin rumbled in rubbing his hands over his face, “It is best not to ask when it comes to Pluto, less confusing.”

Breakfast was called for when the woman in question was missing, again. And not two hours later horns sounded at the front gates luring the Dwarves to the overlook.

Breakfast brought about the more subdued King, who kept stealing glances at the woman whose raised foot on her crossed legs kept tapping his own leg in an absent minded bop in listening to Legolas’ sharing of his aid in clearing another nest of spiders. Packed and ready to go she was again lifted onto the Elk with the trembling King climbing on behind her. A rather less than intimate ride over calmed him and also worried the King for how the Dwarves would react to seeing him unannounced.

Up to the overlook the group came and with a wave Pluto said, “Hey, found Bilbo and I made some new friends!”

Dwalin broke the silence calling out, “Let me guess, you kissed the Elf King.”

Behind you Thranduil called back, “Our intimacies are of no business of yours!”

Dwalin, “All the same, Pluto, where did you find that box?!”

“I fought off a goose for it.”

His brows inched up and Balin asked, “A goose?”

She nodded, “Yup, really angry one.”

Dwalin, “I hate to ask, where was the goose?”

“In the middle of this ice fortress guarded by fire snails.”

He nodded and muttered, “Of course.”

Thorin stole the moment of silence shouting, “Bilbo! You are well?”

Bilbo nodded, “Had to fight off some massive spiders and this one angry, angry toad but I named my sword! Sting!”

Thorin chuckled, “Incredible!” He looked to Thranduil again, “I take it you rescued him?”

Thranduil, “On the contrary, all of us found Miss Pluto roughly at the same time.”

Dwalin, “Then by all means, let’s let you in so you can share the tale.”

Thorin had already raced off towards the gates to help let Bilbo and her in. The Elves also were allowed in and down again the King helped his passenger down swallowing dryly at the chance for another intimate stolen moment only to release her a bit disappointed at the lack of anything in her being pulled away by the Dwarves. Though not an hour later another call to the gates came and into the sitting room where everyone was the bargeman and his children with a wagon holding everything in their life from the partially smoking floating city. A plea for shelter came with a pointed gaze at the green haired woman whose back was circled by the arm of the Elf King pulling her into his side at Bard’s statement, “I’m watching you!”

Making Thranduil say back, “Keep your eyes to yourself, mortal!”

Dwalin chuckled saying, “Ooh, I smell drama. This way boatman.”

Bard, “My name is Bard.”

Dwalin, “If you say so.” He said walking off.

To his back Bard snarked back following after him, “My Mother said so!”

#31 daywritingchallengebydeepestfirefun #Dwalin #Hobbit #lotr

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fai-marie-521 · 4 years

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An Unexpected Tagalong (P.3)

An Unexpected Tagalong:

(What up! Chapter 2! I hope you all like it! If you have any comments or concerns please let me know. I want to grow as a writer :) )

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. Estella Took loved the comfort of her home. The smell, the sounds. But something was always missing. She was a Took after all. She had the need for adventure in her blood. The stories she has read by her fireplace have twisted her mind and she often daydreamed of adventures of her own. Little did she know that on her 35th birthday, she would get exactly what she always dreamed of.

Main Characters: Estella Took, Thorin Oakenshield, Bilbo Baggins

TW: None, I don’t think. If I’m wrong please tell me and I will fix it right away!

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The day went by quickly and in a blink of an eye, it was supper time. The smell of freshly cooked fish fills the air. It made Estella's mouth water. She was so hungry. After what seemed like forever, Bilbo plates the fish. Steam rises from it. It was glossy and well seasoned. Say what you will about hobbits, but they know how to cook. "Thank you so much for doing this for me," Estella says with a smile as he puts a plate right in front of her. Bilbo rolls his eyes slightly, "You bring me honey nut cakes every day, Stella. This is nothing." The halfling of course had a point, but that didn't make Estella any less grateful. They both sit down and begin to feast on their food. All until the doorbell rang. Bilbo's eyes raise toward the door, then glance into Estella's as if he didn't hear correctly.

"Who could be here at this hour?" She asks curiously, almost in a whisper. Bilbo's nose scrunches slightly in thought. He stands up.

"I suppose I should see,"

Estella watches her cousin make his way to the door. Bilbo takes a breath and slowly opens the door. The look on Bilbo's face twisted into a look of confusion. A dwarf was standing right in the entrance, a sneer upon his rough features. He was quite taller than Bilbo. Bald but a long dark beard. He had heavy equipment on; an axe in hand. Bilbo looked around him. The dwarf must've ringed the wrong door. Right? He gave the dwarf a weird stare. Letting curiosity get the best of her, Estella creeps over to see who was at the door. The dwarf looks at Bilbo with an empty stare.

"Dwalin," He says. Estella could barely see the man from where she stood but she knew that name was not a hobbit name. "At your service."

"Bilbo... Baggins... At yours."

Dwalin suddenly pushes past the halfling, making Estella gasp slightly and move toward Bilbo. She looked around acting like she wasn't listening in on their conversation. Dwalin stares at the girl and back at Bilbo. He lets out a laugh, "Ahaha, you have company, do ya?"

Bilbo gave him a look of disgust. Estella shook her head instantly, "My... My name is Estella Took. Bilbo's cousin."

"Estella," Dwalin says. He did not smile but there was a small curve at the corner of his lips. "It is a pleasure to meet you." He gently takes her hand, planting a kiss on the back of it. Estella's cheeks grow pink.

Bilbo instinctively moved close to Estella. "Do we know each other?" He asks as Dwalin began to walk further in.

Dwalin looked at Bilbo as if he was stupid. "No," He rolls his eyes. "Now which way?" He looked around the hobbit hole and points down the hall. "Is it down here?"

"Is what down there, sir?" Estella asks kindly.

Dwalin stared at them expectantly, "Supper." He throws his coat at Bilbo. The halfling barely caught it as Dwalin made his way toward the dining room. Estella's nose scrunched slightly, as it always does when she is annoyed. She'd be lying if she wasn't intrigued by the dwarf but the way he is treating Bilbo is just plain rude. Her arms crossed and her large feet tapped on the wooden floor.

Without seeming to have a choice, Estella sat down Dwalin where Bilbo was sitting. The dwarf huffed at the small amount of food at the table. "He said there would be food and lots of it."

Bilbo narrowed his eyes, "He said? Who said?"

The dwarf must've been starving, Estella had thought to herself. Dwalin helped himself to the food on the table, ignoring Bilbo. He ate Bilbo's dinner quickly, scarfing down the fish as if there were no bones. The halflings just watched the intruder intently in silence, occasionally glancing at each other. Dwalin quickly finished Bilbo's supper and starts reaching for Estella's. Bilbo steps forward, "Wait!" Estella glanced at Bilbo with confusion while Dwalin gave him a side-eye. "That's um... actually my cousin's birthday dinner so if you could please... um... not eat that one?" Estella smiled at her cousin, her eyes full of love. He was truly too sweet to her.

Estella gave him a grateful smile and looks at Dwalin, "No please, you can take it. You must have traveled a long way."

Dwalin offered the halfling a toothy grin. His teeth full of the food that they were meant to eat. "Thank you, lassie." He says. Estella didn't know if she was hearing things but she thought she heard sincere gratitude in his voice. "This is very good. Any more?"

"Give me one-second, sir dwarf." Estella spun around on her heels and heads to the living room where she left the honey nut cakes. She quickly hid two cakes in her pocket for her and Bilbo, taking the rest to the dining table. Dwalin saw the cakes and his eyes instantly lit up like a child receiving a present. "Haha! I like this girl." He exclaimed, digging into them. Bilbo looks devastated, seeing his basket of cakes getting devoured by someone who was not him. Estella stared at him apologetically. Once Dwalin's attention was completely on the cakes Estella slips Bilbo one of the cakes she snatched. Bilbo's face lit up and he quickly hid it in his robe pocket. And as if the night couldn't get any weirder, the doorbell rang once more. Dwalin looked up from eating, glancing over at Bilbo. "That would be the door."

Bilbo narrowed his eyes. He looked at Estella. "Make sure he doesn't take anything." He whispered.

Once Estella nodded, Bilbo went off to get the door. Dwalin looked up at the girl once Bilbo had left, "So, are you married?" Estella let out a laugh, which made Dwalin smile. The first time he had smiled since he arrived.

"No good sir, I am not."

"What a shame! How hasn't someone picked up a beauty like you?"

Estella blushed slightly, " You're too kind, but I'm not looking for a man."

In the background, they can hear Bilbo talking to someone but Dwalin keeps on speaking with Estella. He waves a piece of cake at her. "Aha, independent. I like that." He laughed. She couldn't help but giggle at him.

"Ooh!" A strange, new voice said happily behind Estella. She turns to see yet another dwarf. He was short, stout, he was far older than Dwalin. His beard was long and white, his hair matching. "Ah-hah! Evening, Brother!" The new dwarf exclaimed fondly. Dwalin quickly gets up to greet his friend. He walked over to him with a wide smile. "By my beard! You are shorter and wider than last we met!"

"Wider, but not shorter." The old dwarf corrected. "Sharp enough for both of us."

The two share a laugh and hold each other's arms. They suddenly do something Estella did not expect. The two reared their heads back and slam them into each others'. Estella's hand slapped across her mouth as she imagined the pain that must've caused but the two just laugh and stare at each other fondly as if nothing had happened. The two ignore the halflings and start going toward Bilbo's pantry. "Wait! Uh... Excuse me I think you have the wrong house!" He yelled out them, but to no avail. Estella put a hand on his shoulder with a slight smile on her face, "This is... the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me."

Bilbo looks at her, frowning disapprovingly when he noticed her grin. "You're smiling! You're completely enjoying this!"

"No! I am not!" Estella tried to say, holding back a laugh.

"Well, it's not your pantry they're raiding!" Bilbo grumbled under his breath. He stomped after the dwarves in hopes to stop them from eating his food. Estella quickly followed after her cousin. The dwarves looked all around the pantry grabbing anything they find that meets their cravings. The two talked amongst themselves as if the hobbits don't even exist.

Bilbo huffs angrily, "It's not that I don't like visitors. I...I like visitors as much as the next... hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come visiting."

Ignored. Estella chuckled slightly.

"The thing is um..." Ignored again.

" The thing is, I don't...I don't know either of you, not in the slightest. I don't mean to be blunt, but I uh...but I had to speak my mind." He says quickly. "I'm sorry." Bilbo's hands raise, as does his voice with those last words. The dwarves grow quiet and look at him. The older dwarf stares at him.

"Apology accepted!" He says. Bilbo suddenly looks as if he was about to explode. Estella had never seen her cousin so angry. She felt sympathy toward him but also couldn't help to be amused by the whole situation. While the dwarves continue to raid poor Bilbo's pantry the doorbell rings once more. The halfling groans in annoyance. He storms over to the door quickly, leaving Estella watching the dwarves once again. Dwalin and the new dwarf begins to carry things toward the bigger dining room. Estella yelps and hurries to the older dwarf's side, picking up some of the things in his arms to relieve some weight. "Here! I'll help." She says quickly. The older dwarf looks to here, "Ahh. Thank you, dearie. I don't believe we have had an introduction."

"Nope, I'm Estella! Bilbo's kin,"

"It is good to meet you, Estella! The name's Balin." He says, setting down everything he brought from the pantry. Estella followed suit, then bows her head in greeting. "It is a pleasure Balin." She smiles sweetly at him. They share a quick smile before Balin and Dwalin return to getting things from the pantry.

"That's my mother's glory box, can you please not do that?" Estella can hear Bilbo plead near the entrance.

"Kili, Fili, come on give us a hand!" Dwalin yells over to... new dwarves. Estella stares at the newcomers. They were brothers, they shared some similar features such as their smile and overall energy but hey were opposites to be sure. Especially hair wise, one dark, one light. One with man like features and the other more dwarf-like. They were both handsome young dwarves despite their differences. "Mr.Dwalin!" The dark-haired dwarf exclaims happily. The two brothers raced over to assist moving the furniture in the dining room.

Balin sighed, "Let's shove this in the hole, otherwise we won't get everyone in."

Bilbo's eyes widen. "Ev... Everyone?!" He yelped. He glanced at Estella for help but sees she's helping the dwarves! Talking to them! Bilbo's face scrunches. " How many more are there?!" He demanded.

But everyone is far too busy to even hear the poor hobbit. Then the doorbell rang once more. The hobbit drops down the stuff Fili put in his arms and growls, "Oh no! No! There is nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" He swung open the door and a wave of dwarves fall into the entrance. Bilbo watched them helplessly. He glared up to see a tall figure stand behind the scrambling dwarves on the floor. The tall figure poked his head through the hobbit hole door, a smile upon his old face. " Gandalf..." Bilbo mumbled angrily.

Dwarves. A wizard. One hobbit who is completely enjoying herself and another who is absolutely angry. Since the intruders have arrived, Estella had become friends with every single one. She can become friends with random dwarves on a whim, but can't even go out to hobbit event to even say hi to her own people! Bilbo's face was reddened. He was rushing everywhere at once trying to keep everything in order in the house. Without the help of his cousin, who sat in the basically destroyed dining room with the dwarves.

"So it's your birthday, huh?" Kil asked with a grin.

Estella nodded, "Yep! My 35th."

"Dearie! You don't look a day over 25!" Balin exclaims.

She nearly chokes on the sip of ale she had just swallowed. "Thank you!" She laughs. "I suppose, I should say the same about you!" The table laughs along with her. They talk all while Bilbo is still running around.

"Uh...Fili, Kili. Uh...Oin, Gloin. Dwalin, Balin. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur. Dori, Nori..." Gandalf counts from the hallway, trying to avoid the rushing dwarves.

"Ori!" He exclaims, finding another one. Bifur, a dwarf with an axe in his head, looks up at Gandalf. He begins to speak in dwarvish. Gandalf nods, "Yes, you are quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short."

"He is late, is all. He traveled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come." Dwalin said from the corner of the hall. While there was loud laughter and talk amongst the dwarves, Bilbo stands in front of his pantry. Sorrow was clear on his face. It was completely cleaned! He began toward the kitchen where the dwarves and his cousin are. Food flies across the room. They were burping, chugging, doing all the things a person with no manners would do. And there Estella was. Having the time of her life. From the looks of it, Kili, Fili, and Bofur were playing a drinking game with her.

"No, no! I've got this!" She insisted. "Dwalin, Balin... Bifur, Bofur, Bombur... Ori, Oin, Gloin... Kili, Fili... Dori... and-"

"And~?" Fili says sing-songy.

"You've got this Lady Took!" Kili cheered on.

"And- oh goodness! What was that last one?" She groaned.

"If you need to give up~" Fili taunts.

"Nori!" She yells. "It's Nori!"

"UGH, balls!" Fili grumbles. The boys took a big swig of ale as Estella laughs in victory.

Bilbo could not believe his eyes. Betrayed. By his own kin. Was he being dramatic? Most likely, but he didn't care. His house was a mess! It was supposed to be a quiet night. How could it turn to this?

"Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" He growls. He watched Estella and them have fun and he couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy. He wanted to have fun too but he was also annoyed that his dinner with Estella was completely ruined.

Gandalf saw the distraught hobbit and walks over, "My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?"

"What's the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves. What they're doing here?!"

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them," Gandalf admited.

Bilbo's face scrunches in anger, " I don't want to get used to them. Look at the state of my kitchen! There's mud trod in the carpet, they...they've pillaged the pantry! I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom, they've all but destroyed the plumbing! And they are ruining my cousin's birthday! I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

Gandalf couldn't help but smile as he looked at Estella and the dwarves. "Bilbo, she seems to be having a grand time."

"That's not the point-" Bilbo began until a young dwarf, Ori, walked over to Bilbo. " Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt," He said kindly. He lifted up his dirty plate. "But what should I do with my plate?" Bilbo was about to answer him until someone grabbed the dirty plate out of his hand. It was Fili, with a mischievous grin on his face. "Here you go, Ori, give it to me," He said. Fili throws the plate as if it was a frisbee toward his brother who was in the kitchen doorway and Bilbo's face dropped, giving them a look of terror. Many more plates are thrown toward Fili who proceeded to throw it to Kili.

"Excuse me! That's my mother's Westfarthing pottery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo exclaimed in horror.

The dwarves in the dining room began to use the cutlery for a tune. Banging the ends on the table rhythmically. Rubbing the sharp edges against the others.

"And... and... ca- can you not do that! You'll blunt them!" Bilbo pleads.

Bofur laughed and continued the rhythm. "Did you hear that lads! He says we'll blunt the knives!"

Kili began to sing to the tune of dishes being thrown and knives clanking together, "Blunt the knives bend the forks!"

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks!" Fili continued.

All the dwarves begin to sing now. Estella watches in delight, clapping along to the beat happily.

Chip the glasses and crack the plates.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat.

Leave the bones on the bedroom-mat, pour the milk on the pantry-floor, splash the wine on every door, dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole.

When you've finished, if any are whole, send them down the hall to roll!

Clean dishes from the kitchen started piling up onto the dining table in front of Estella. She watched the tower grow throughout the song. And once the dwarves were finished cleaning they exclaim one last line as Bilbo rushes to the dining room expecting his china to be shattered all over the floor.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Estella peers over at her cousin with a wide smile on her face. She hurries over to him and hugs his arm. "See! It all worked out!" She told him happily over the laughs of the dwarves. Bilbo stared at the cleaned dishes, astonished.

Everyone's laughter echoed off the walls, filling the once quiet house. It was all fun and games until their was two loud bangs at the front door. The laughter quickly died down and everyone looked in the direction of the door.

Gandalf inhales a large breath of air. "He's here."

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catyo90 · 6 years

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The Hunt: Chapter 30

Gandalf turned to Y/n who nodded in agreement. She walked up to the door and opened it to see Thorin standing there with a disheartened look. She closed the door before the others could see. She brought her hands to either side of his face as she looked for the answers in his eyes. He merely sighed at her touch as she closed her eyes in understanding. Before anything else the door opened again to Gandalf and the others, Thorin quickly walked inside with Y/n following him and closing the door.

“Gandalf...I thought you said this place would be easy to find, I almost lost my way...twice. I wouldn’t have found it at all if it were not for the mark on the door.”

Thorin proceeded to take off his cloak while Y/n helped him. Bilbo had rushed to the door and started to prat on how there was no mark on the door with Gandalf assuring him there was as he was the one who placed it there. Thorin seeing Kili and Fili gave them a quick smile as he brought his attention to the hobbit.

“So...This the Hobbit. Tell me Mr. Baggins have done much fighting?”

“Pardon me?”

Bilbo asked as Thorin circled around him.

“Axe or Sword? What’s your weapon of choice.”

Bilbo stated he was skilled a conquers to which Thorin simply remarked to the others that he looked more like a grocer than a burglar. The mention of this word caused Bilbo to think on it while the others started to gather in the dining room while Gandalf sighed in relief as he leaned himself against the wall. Y/n hung the cloak with the others and brought him a fresh ale and food for him, as she had managed to sneak a bit of food before it was all gone. Gandalf had joined them as Balin asked Thorin what everyone was thinking.

“What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?”

“Aye all envoys from all seven kingdoms.”

Everyone cheered as Dwalin looked at Thorin, he knew something was wrong.

“What do the dwarfs of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?”

All the dwarves were silent at the question. Y/n placed her hand on Thorin’s hand knowing the answer.

“They will not come.”

Everyone started to murmur in disappointment as Gandalf began to think to himself in deep thought.

“They say this quest is ours and ours alone.”

Bilbo who had been listening from outside of the room started to become even more curious at the mention of a quest. Gandalf who had noticed turned to him and gave him a light smile.

“Bilbo, why don’t you bring us a bit more light.”

Bilbo, being a hobbit and still with guests quickly left the room to look for a lantern. Gandalf pulled out a map showing the lonely mountain. With it was an inscription. The others soon started to speak of Smaug, which once more caught Bilbo’s attention. With this came the sudden realization that they had no army. To which Kili and Fili started to state the Gandalf must have killed some dragons which started a whole new argument of the number of dragons Gandalf had killed. Y/n couldn’t help but sigh at the sight as Thorin stood up yelling for them to be silent which surprised Bilbo so much that he had moved back ever so slightly.

“If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?”

Balin being more realistic than most of the others spoke.

“You forget the front gate is sealed. there is no way into the mountain.”

Gandalf straightened himself.

“That, my dear Balin is not entirely true.”

To which he slipped a key from the sleeve of his robe. Thorin seeing the key was of dwarvish make looked at it in wonder as the other did as well.

“How came you by this?”

“It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safe keeping. It is yours now.”

Gandalf handed the key to him, he received it with the look of wonder and pain in his eyes. Y/n knew how much he wished for his father to be with him. Kili and Fili looked at each other and murmured to each other as Gandalf continued to speak.

“These runes speak of a hidden passage in the lower halls.”

He pointed with his pipe to a small set of runes on the side of the map with a hand pointing to the map. Gandalf had mentioned that the dwarf doors are invisible and very hard to detect. However, he believed that there were other ways to find out a way to find the secret door. Ori mentioned the fact that they needed a burglar to which Bilbo unknowingly responded.

“Hm, a good one, too. An expert I imagined.”

All of the dwarves turned and asked him if he was. When he responded that he wasn't another argument erupted at the poor hearing of Oin to which he believed he had said the opposite. As the others continued on arguing. Gandalf stood up with a deep voice as the room became darker, almost like the shadows were alive.

“Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar than a Burglar he is!”

Everyone stopped in an instant at the power emitting from the wizard. Y/n being slightly afraid, Y/n had clutched to Thorin’s arm causing him to place a hand over hers as he whispered to her.

“It’s alright.”

Gandalf having returned to his normal form spoke calmly.

“Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage.”

Gandalf sat down and brought his attention to Thorin as he spoke.

“You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself.”

Thorin looked over his shoulder at Bilbo and looked at Gandalf with an unpleased expression. Gandalf spoke.

“You must trust me on this.”

Thorin sighed as he looked at Y/n. She gave a slight nod to him.

“Very well, we will do it your way. Balin, give him a contract.”

Balin stood up speaking to Bilbo about the standards of the contract. Balin handed the contract to Thorin who in turn gave it to Bilbo who started reading it and looking over the terms. Y/n noticed Thorin whispering to Gandalf so softly that she could not hear him. Bilbo started reading the contact out loud to himself as Gandalf smiled.

“Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any...Seems fair. Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?”

At the word incineration, Thorin turned to look over his shoulder. Y/n and Gandalf looked at each other knowing that Bilbo was possibly getting frightened. Bilbo looked at the others as he questioned the terms, to which Bofur replied.

“Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.”

Bilbo started to look a little breathless. Y/n seeing this became a little worried for the halfling. Balin leaned over noticing it as well.

“You all right, laddie?”

Bilbo bent over feeling a bit nauseous and pained. Bofur unfortunately at this time thought it would be a better idea to emphasize the idea of the dragon

“Think furnace with wings. Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you’re nothing more than a pile of ash.”

Bilbo started breathing even heavier, trying to compose himself as the others stare at him. Everyone was silent as Bilbo managed to straighten himself up.

“Hmmm. Nope.”

Bilbo fell to the floor in a faint. Y/n sighed at the sight as Gandalf stood up.

“Ah, very helpful Bofur.

Gandalf said slightly annoyed as he stood up and help Bilbo to his feet and walked him to the other room and sat him down by the fireplace. Y/n went to the kitchen and started to brew up a quick cup of tea for him. Thorin joined her, he leaned next to her with his arms crossed as his eyes were closed.

“He shouldn’t come with us”

Y/n paused for a moment then she continued to brew the tea.

“I think...he needs to.”

She said as she turned her head to him with a wise expression on her face. Thorin looked at her slightly puzzled.

“To me, he is just like Fili and Kili. They were born into safety and cared for with the comfort of a home around them. Eventually, they became tired and bored with living every day doing the same thing for so long.”

She started to pour the tea into a small cup and stirred a bit of honey into it. Thorin couldn’t help but smile at her being so caring, even to a stranger she had barely known. He lifted a hand to her cheek and gently turned her gaze toward him. He gave her a light quick kiss on the lips. She felt her whole body feel a bit lighter. She smiled at him and placed a hand on his cheek. He was never sure as to how but her touch always calmed him, even when he had nightmares. She smiled as she left back into the room where Bilbo and Gandalf were talking. She lightly tapped Bilbo's shoulder and handed him the drink which he took with sincere gratitude. Gandalf gave her a smile as he pulled out his pipe from his robe pocket. He and Bilbo began to talk. Y/n returned to the hall to see Thorin and Balin speaking to one another. Bilbo walked past her away from Gandalf who she turned to see was quite disappointed. Bilbo smiled at her as he returned to his room. She heard Balin speak as he walked away as she saw Thorin bring his attention to her for a moment.

“I believe we have lost our burglar...oh well...the odds were always against us. What are we? Tinkers, Miners, Toymakers...hardly the stuff of legend.”

“There are a few warriors among us,” Thorin said as he smirked at Balin

“Old warriors, Thorin,” Balin said returning the smirk.

“I could not ask for finer dwarves, for when I called upon them they answered. They show honor and loyalty...I can ask no more than that.”

“You don’t have to do this. You have a choice, Thorin. You made a wonderful home for us in the blue mountains. A life of peace and plenty. That is worth more than all the gold in Erebor.”

Thorin raised his hand holding the iron key that Gandalf had given him.

“From my grandfather to my father this has come to me. They dreamt of the day the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim their homeland. There is no choice for my Balin. Not for me.”

“We will see it done...we will.”

Balin placed a hand on his shoulder and left him and Y/n to themselves. Y/n could see the pain in his eyes.

“Thorin, your grandfather would be so proud of you, and your father...we will find him.”

Thorin looked at her with eyes filled with hope. He took her hand in his and lightly kissed the back of it. She smiled at the gesture as the others gathered in the living room. He brought a hand around her and held her close as the two of them followed suit. The others sat around the fireplace, a few of them smoking on pipes while the others looked at the burning embers. Thoirn had Y/n sit in the chair closest to the fireplace. The warmth soon enveloped her legs and spread all through out her body. The others looked disturbed but only by the memory and stories of Smaug. As Y/n looked into the flames she felt a song enter her mind.

“Far over the misty mountains cold.

To dungeons deep and caverns old,

We must away, ere break of day.

To find our long forgotten gold”

Thorin looked at her, though she could not see. Soon he joined her song and the others as well.

#thorin oakenshield #thorin x reader #thorin imagine #chapter 30 #the hunt #@thewildomega

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beekeeperofeden · 6 years

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fic: the synonyms for ‘barrier’ include hindrance, obstacle, and trammel

Summary: Ability to speak does not necessarily confer the ability to communicate. Entreri and Catti-brie are still learning this the hard way. Opposite of Arrogance AU. (Basic premise of the AU is that Catti-brie started working for Bregan D’aerthe during Starless Night in order to convince Jarlaxle to help rescue Drizzt.) Wordcount: 2880

They were on stake-out again. Catti-brie had noticed that none of the drow soldiers were sent out in pairs, and she wondered what it meant that Jarlaxle kept making Entreri work with her. She didn't need a translator to recognize the "it takes two humans to do the job of one dark elf" jokes as they left, but she didn't think that was Jarlaxle's reasoning. At least, that wasn't all of it.

Whatever Jarlaxle's rationale, it had resulted in the two of them sitting on the roof of a crumbling building, watching the street below for—someone. Catti-brie wasn't actually sure who they were looking for, but she had been assured that Entreri would recognize them. Which meant that, while Entreri studied the sparse crowds and watched for their target, Catti-brie had an idle mind and no one else to talk to.

"What're ye muttering?" she asked him. He'd been frowning and saying something under his breath for the past half hour. It almost had the rhythm of a poem, and she wondered if it were possible that the man who had haunted some of her nightmares would really be reciting poetry in his spare time.

Annoyed grumbling, followed by "Vocabulary." Not poetry, then. Far more practical, and Catti-brie was annoyed at herself for not guessing that first.

"That'll be in drow, then?" They were speaking in Surface Common. Catti-brie had half expected Entreri to insist on speaking drow in order to avoid talking to her, but he seemed to enjoy hearing a surface language again too much to argue.

Entreri rolled his eyes instead of answering.

"Drill me," she said.

"What?"

"I need to practice and so do ye." She nodded at the street. "It's not like we're going anywhere for a while."

He rolled his eyes again.

"Brane'sa," he said. Catti-brie grinned.

"Insect, pest, or annoyance." She'd heard that one a few times already.

"It also means 'prey,'" Entreri pointed out. He looked much less amused, though Catti-brie wasn't sure if that was just his face or if he'd gotten sick of hearing it muttered at him in the hallway.

"My turn," she said. "Delmah."

"Headquarters or fortress." He paused to watch someone exit a building across the row from them. "Uln'hyrr."

"Liar," she said. Entreri nodded.

"The synonym for that one is Jarlaxle," he said. Catti-brie started to etch the new word into her memory before she realized that Artemis Entreri had just made a joke. She searched for some hint of humor, but he kept his face totally blank.

"Uln'hyrr," she said. He raised an eyebrow.

"We just did that one. Choose another."

"Vynnessia," she said, grinning as he frowned. She'd remembered this one because it was pretty, but suspected Entreri might not have bothered to memorize it. He scowled.

"You made that one up."

"It means 'butterfly.'"

"You must be joking."

"Nope."

"Why do drow even have a word for butterfly?" He gestured at the ceiling, at the walls, at everything around them. "We are miles below the surface. There are no butterflies down here."

Catti-brie was silent for a moment, enjoying the view as Entreri's face shifted between astonishment and disbelief.

"Mayhap they're invisible butterflies," she said after a moment. His mouth opened and shut a few times before he responded.

"It's not a matter of visibility—butterflies could not survive in the Underdark. They're too delicate, and there is nothing for them to eat."

Catti-brie frowned and gestured at a pack of rothe down the street. "There's plenty o' food."

Entreri blinked. "I thought butterflies ate flowers."

"And meat. I saw a flock of them nibbling on a deer carcass once. Looked like a patch o' daisies until I got close enough to see their wings move."

He stared at her, clearly hoping for some indication of untruth. She could see the idea but they're too pretty to be dangerous flutter across his mind, unspoken. She shrugged.

"Ye've met Jarlaxle, and he's awful pretty. Are ye gonna tell me he's not dangerous?" She leaned forward. "But more importantly...if I'm lyin' about the butterflies, then why do dark elves have a word for 'em?"

He looked away, staring at the deserted street below them.

"We should move on to verbs," he said. "Run."

Catti-brie blinked, then considered whether she was supposed to run. "Oh! Er, z'haanin."

"That's 'running.'" He stretched one leg, then the other, without losing sight of the road. Catti-brie realized her own legs were stiff from sitting and started to stand as well. "Usstan z'haan, dos z'haan, il z'haane, udos z'haan, nind z'haan—I run, you run, she runs, we run, they run. Dos z'haanus. You ran."

Catti-brie sighed. This was less fun than nouns, but she couldn't deny it was necessary. She winced, remembering the times she'd heard a goblin mangle verbs in common or dwarvish and how easy it had been to discount them as real people. At home, she'd wanted the others to respect her as an adult, as someone who could be trusted to make her own decisions. She had thought she wanted that. But the basic respect that came from acknowledgement that she was a person...she hadn't noticed until it was missing, and she hungered to have it back.

"I hate this," she said.

"Usstan phlith nindol." He eyed her for a moment, then turned his gaze back to the abandoned street. "And in third person singular?"

"Er, il phlithe. She hates."

"If you hate this so much, why not leave?" Apparently satisfied with the results of his stretching, he sat back down cross-legged on the edge of the roof. "You could probably convince Jarlaxle to return you."

"Why would he do that?"

"Gold. Surely your father could pay a ransom that would interest him."

Her own bed. Seeing friendly faces again. Sunlight, rain, a soft breeze. She wasn't sure what season it was on the surface. Autumn, perhaps? There would be fresh apples falling from the trees. Everyone would be taking stock of their supplies, getting ready for winter. Usually she'd be helping buy preserves, storing turnips, deciding which spices to purchase and how many before the roads became too icy for merchants.

If she mentioned it to Jarlaxle today, maybe she could be home before the first snow fell.

Jarlaxle's words echoed in her mind. Drizzt may even outlive you, if they have their way. House Baenre is not known for killing its enemies quickly.

"No. If I leave, then Jarlaxle don't need to hold up his end of the bargain."

"Do'Urden must be quite gratified, to have so persistent a rescuer."

Catti-brie shook her head. "He'd hate it if he knew I was here. He told Regis to hide it from us."

He looked at her, his regard frighteningly intense. "Then why pursue him?"

Empty hallways. Her father, red-eyed and silent. The guilt that would eat her away if she didn't go, if no one went. Alustriel watching her with unexpected hope and respect.

She closed her eyes.

"I already lost one friend." Whatever arguments they had had, whatever Wulfgar had been to her before he died, she could still say 'friend.' "You killed him attacking Mithril Hall."

"One of the dwarves?" He frowned, clearly unable to put a face to her description.

"Not one of the—" Her throat ached with the effort of stopping tears, but she held them back anyway. She would not cry in front of Artemis Entreri. "Wulfgar. He died in the attack."

"But I was not the one who killed him."

"Ye helped." Her voice trembled. "If ye hadn't, perhaps the battle would have gone different."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not." He shrugged. "If I had not been involved, it's possible you would have died and Wulfgar would have gone chasing Do'Urden to the Underdark."

"Or no one would have died!" She was vaguely aware that she was standing over him, her voice raised. He didn't seem the slightest bit intimidated, and that only made her feel worse. "We would have beaten them off and kept living our lives."

"Does Jarlaxle strike you as incompetent? If I had not been there, the drow would simply have used a different tactic to pry Drizzt out. Teleportation spells and a larger army, perhaps. Alchemical explosives in the mineshafts. Smoke, like hunters use for foxes."

"So ye joined them to reduce the body count?"

"Hardly." His lip curled in scorn.

"Then what does it matter, if I blame ye for his death?"

"It doesn't. But you hardly have cause to be upset. You did not wish to marry him anyway."

She stared at him, flummoxed.

"How do ye know—"

He arranged his features into a politely neutral expression that she'd never seen him wear. But she'd seen it on Regis's face a few times, when she needed to confide to someone. Like she had before drow attacked, when Regis had been...oh.

"You spying weasel," she spat. "That was—it's none of your—" She kicked a piece of decorative metalwork sticking out of the roof. Pain shot up her foot and spread like lightning through her leg. She cursed, still angry, but it was a pure, hot anger, something she could burn out. Grief was a dark tunnel that she couldn't afford to follow right now, not if she wanted to rescue Drizzt.

"How was I supposed to stop you?" Entreri's voice was harsh. "Say 'I cannot listen to your girlish woes right now, as I have espionage to commit and a prisoner to check on'? Or would you prefer that I simply pretend not to know?"

"Let's go with that."

"Very well." Another strange expression, this time an obvious caricature of sympathy. "I am so sorry about the death of your brutish fiance, whom you were so very excited to wed."

"Someone should have drowned you as a weanling."

He shrugged. "What makes you think no one tried?"

Exhausted by her anger, she sat down at the edge of the roof, close enough to speak but far enough away that he wouldn't think he was forgiven. I'm not sitting with ye, we just happen to be sitting in the same tunnel.

"Why do ye care if I go home, anyway?"

"Jarlaxle would need to give you a map, or send a scout to show you the way out. I could use that."

"So you're just bein' selfish."

"Yes. You could try it sometime."

"I think you're selfish enough for the both of us, aren't ye?"

He bared his teeth in what might have been a pleased grin. For a while they sat in silence, watching the street below them. Catti-brie's stomach growled, and she unpacked the fruit and cheese she had brought with her. She took a bite of the fruit, first. It was unfamiliar to her, but apparently commonplace in the Underdark. The skin was soft pink that faded into green. It tasted like a plum that wasn't ripe yet, but sweeter. She'd found she liked them.

Entreri glanced at her, then at the fruit. "Have you had a chance to look at the drow orchards yet?"

The question was so innocuous that Catti-brie was instantly suspicious.

"The drow have farms?" This far down, with no sunlight or rainfall to speak of?

Entreri nodded. "They're much like the great farms in the south, with aqueducts. They build in terraces to maximize space."

That...actually sounded rather nice. She'd seen aqueducts used in mining, to help carry away dust and debris. It could make sense for farming, too. She felt a pang of homesickness, thinking of the mines. Perhaps it was the case for Entreri, too.

"Do ye miss it?" He blinked, and she clarified. "Calimshan, I mean?"

"Parts of it." This time he didn't manage to hide the note of wistfulness from her. Was that him loosening up or her getting better at reading him?

"Like the food?" Her visit to Calimport had been too brief, too fearful, to really understand the city.

"Like the freedom to kill anyone who talked too much." Catti-brie took another bite of the fruit, and Entreri smirked. "But yes, some of the pashas keep fine gardens. Keeping plants alive in the desert requires time, water, money—it's a chance for them to show off."

Catti-brie didn't remembering seeing any such gardens, but she supposed that they were probably walled off. Knowing that Calimport hadn't been as barren as it looked but that all that green was simply hidden away didn't make her like the place any better.

"Is that why the drow grow fruit? To prove they can?"

Entreri thought about that, then chuckled. "Perhaps. Although, water is not the problem down here."

"Sunlight." She frowned, thinking. "Light spells?" But surely that would take too much magic to maintain, and the dark elves barely tolerated torches along crowded streets. They couldn't possibly be casting enough light spells up to keep any sizable farms alive.

"Some of the fields have light, yes, but plants don't need to get their energy from sunlight. Some can get warmth from the ground." He grinned wolfishly.

"And most of the plants down here get their energy the same way we do—they eat."

Catti-brie finished chewing her bite of not-plum and swallowed. "Eat what?" she asked.

"Meat." He jerked his head at a goblin corpse, already being dragged away. "Whatever kind is available."

Catti-brie looked at her mostly-uneaten fruit with disgust. Entreri huffed in annoyance, then took it from her.

"If you won't eat it, I will."

Catti-brie swallowed her objections. It wasn't like eating a person, not really. She couldn't shake the certainty that it had tasted like blood, nonetheless. Entreri rolled his eyes.

"A few days of hunger, you'll get over it," he said, carving the not-plum into small pieces. He popped a piece of fruit into his mouth. "Or you'll starve. I care not which."

Catti-brie scowled at him, then snatched a piece of the not-plum and ate it, never breaking eye contact. He laughed.

She raised an eyebrow, considering how, when she'd first known him, he'd butted heads with the guard from Luskan for no apparent reason other than that it seemed to amuse him to insult the man.

"Do you have to work to piss off all yer potential allies this much, or do it come natural?"

"It took practice."

"Oh, so ye want otherwise neutral parties to be looking to take yer head off," Catti-brie said sarcastically. Entreri nodded.

"It weeds out the opportunistic leeches. Anyone who sticks around after that is probably just planning to kill me."

"Or mayhap they weren't planning to kill ye until ye opened yer damned mouth." Entreri shrugged, as if people wanting to murder him was a natural consequence of existing. Then he perked up, like a cat that heard the skitter of rodent feet nearby. He jerked his chin as an armored figure down the street.

"Our target." Then he stood and started climbing down the building, not bothering with a rope. Catti-brie peered over the edge after him, then down at the rapidly-approaching drow.

"What am I supposed to do?"

He sneered but didn't answer. As their target got closer, Catti-brie recalled Jarlaxle's instructions: I need him alive, but not undamaged. She growled under her breath, drew her bow, and fired into the target's leg, pinning him to the nearest building.

Entreri, halfway across the street, whirled to scowl up at her. She made eye contact for a long second, then deliberately lowered the bow. She looped a length of rope around the decorative metalwork and started to climb down the side of the building. By the time she got down, their target was bound and gagged. He whimpered through the gag as Entreri roughly tourniquetted the wound on his leg. When Catti-brie let go of the rope, Entreri knotted the bandage and stood up.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinkin' ye hadn't exactly shared a plan, and this seemed like a halfway decent one. If ye were expecting me to do something else, ye should've said."

He tilted his head, and she expected an attack. A shove, a slap, something. When it didn't come, she ground her teeth and maintained eye contact until a particularly loud groan from their target drew her attention. Entreri was still frowning at her.

"If you get in my way again, I'll leave you at the bottom of the Clawrift, Jarlaxle's orders be damned."

With that, he dragged the captive to his feet and shoved him toward Bregan D'aerthe's base.

"Walk," he ordered in drow. A glance at Catti-brie suggested that the imperative was targeted at her, too. She pulled her rope down and followed.

"I don't suppose ye can tell me how drow say 'thank you,'" she said, draping the coil of rope over her shoulder. "Given that ye don't seem to know it yerself."

"If you shut up, I'll express gratitude by letting you live." He ran his thumb along the pommel of his dagger. "If a drow were going to deign to thank iblith for anything, I suspect it would be by killing us fast instead of slow."

She spent the rest of their walk in silence, wondering if he was right. When they returned, Jarlaxle smiled in delight, praised their work, and offered not a single word in thanks. By Entreri's grim smirk as they left Jarlaxle's office, he'd noticed too.

#au: the opposite of arrogance #bag of many aus #fic

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