#and what are the only things worth doing on this bitch ass earth

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[bloogers-boogers]

More Marriage au ~

Adam was dragged to a small office for more privacy. He was never the problem?, what was this bitch talking about??

Anyways he was being questioned in almost everything that happened, felt and did while freshly married to Lucifer, it got to the point where it went too deep, and thats when it hit to his first marriage.

"So in the Bible it states you were married two times, is that true?"

"No. It only states when I was married to my awesome smocking hot ex wife: Eve~ and us being created."

"So that's a lie?"

"Not entirely, they just covered up the small mistakes, glossing the story up a bit."

"Which was?"

"Lilith. That unfaithful bitch. They covered her entire existence. Everything related to Lucifer, his rebellion, they didn't even stated his real name in the bible, cause he wasn't "worthy" of being recognized as his angel self. I personally think it would've been a lot more harsher if they kept his old name instead of Lucifer but whatever I guess. Then somehow those nosy ass theorists from the afertmath of Noah's shit load started looking into it too much and found actually more dirt in the hole, that revealed more to our creation. And that's how we got many split versions of it in different scriptures."

"What's his real name?"

"We're not allowed to say it. It's an angel thing."

"Prehistoric heaven stuff huh. But you're no longer a angel, your highness.."

"Fuck you. I was originally a angel before I was murdered totally unjustified btw. How does any of this information does anything in fixing my marriage?!"

The counselor scoffed, but kept her own opinion on that matter (exterminations) to herself. She's a marriage counselor not a therapist, and she wasn't getting paid enough anyways, "you were human. Originally human. Not an angel."

Now it was Adam's turn to scoff offended, but said nothing. He hated to see that side of him after his death on earth. It only brought bad memories, linked to only negative feelings, sorrow and thoughts.

"Tell me more about your marriage with Lilith."

"Pssch what's there to say? Where do I even start? What exactly do you want to know. I can go all into detail about how shit she was as my wife."

"Go on. Tell me everything you want to share, I'm here until 8 and your paying so.."

"More like aPplE hUbBy is paying for everything but whatever, took his card and shit HAHAHAHA! HAAAA," Adam snicker for himself, wiping a tear; thinking he was being funny. But he wasn't. At least for anyone else in the room which was just Gladis (counselor's name) and the only response she did was write a note to that comment.

Note one:

'Apple hubby. A subconscious, possible meaningful name for his spouse. If it referring to events of the bible, may mean about the whole apple incident (weak spot?) or it could be related to King Morningstar's obsession with apples (concerning). Or both.'

"Firstly she cheated on me. Obviously. That's the whole tea, bitch. Secondly she didn't agreed on anything I did, suggest or thought. It's like she wanted to be against everything I believed in. Nothing I did to impress her sastified her. She made ME question my entire faith and existence!" The more Adam spoke the more his pupils shrank by the dark memories of his past.

Note two:

'First wife trauma.'

"Then Lucifer shows up and POOF! Now everything that twink ass looking angel did was 'amazing' and worth looking forward to. He only sang and dance with her, ONCE, and it was like, her whole world turned around.. facing away from me..."

"And did Lucifer have any connections with you at the time? Did he also approach you when he firstly approached Lilith? Did you two spend time together? Talk? Bond?"

"More like it was all a whole distraction for their affair to continue."

"So you two did have a relationship."

"It's complicated."

"Why was it complicated, Adam?"

Adam's face soften in sadness. The question taking him off guard. He wasn't entirely sure?

What went wrong. What did he do, to not deserve Lucifer and Lilith's loyalty? Friendship, honesty.

Why wasn't he ever worth something. Enough.

"I have no fucking idea, man. I was literally perfect, still am and yet they wanted more than what they could bite and CHOKE on it in the progress."

"You're including Lilith in this. Why's that?"

"Because those two bastards were a team. The damage was done by both, all planned out and ready for what was gonna come. Got both me AND Eve. It's plural. I wish I could say I was alone in all this but I wasn't which is why it makes things hard to forgive and forget."

Note three:

'Gayass.'

"So how did you two end up falling in love?"

"We didn't, we kinda just poofed into existence already married and stuff."

"I meant you and King Lucifer."

"Just call him Lucifer he doesn't deserve that sorts of respect, he's an ass. A snake full of cock that doomed humanity."

"How did you and Lucifer get together," she asserted much more frustrated seeing Adam was getting nowhere to the subject in hand.

Adam then realized immediately everyone actually thought they were truly an item. Well this went awkward all of a sudden. So he decided to keep up the lie.

"I died."

"And—— what else?"

"Wdym 'what else'? Bitch wanted to complete the full set y'know. First dick, father of humanity, the only one that refused to join him. I'm basically his forbidden apple."

"And you just let him?"

"Sure. Why not? What's there to lose y'know. That's my jam. I just go with the flow. If it works for me then let it be damn and fuck me hard, I'm fucking doing it."

"Adam, are you taking this session seriously?"

Adam in response digs his pinky finger inside his ear with indifference, "Look. I just want answers, babe. I don't want spiritual solutions or tips. Tell me how to fix this."

She sighed, "when was the last time you two were intimate?"

"WOW, wow. WOAH. Where going to that territory now? Little tea maker right here but whateves."

So Adam went on full detail on one of his sex escapes back in heaven, plastering Lucifer’s name on whatever freak he has fucked in the last centuries. He was not in any way gonna go on about sex with Lucifer (they did it only two times; one outta traditional terms, the second we don’t talk about the fucking second.) that shit was private and humiliating to say the least.

He blushed. Just the thought of Lucifer’s claws running down his skin and his fangs digging through his neck and wings. It sent shivers down his spine. Made his throat go all dry and his limbs all numb.

Previous >> Next

[janitorhutcherson]

hey bitches!! it’s e, i’m backkkk. i had a fic idea, something i think i’ll use for a lot of new content if y’all react well to it. to give y’all a run down before we get into it, this is a famous!mike schmidt au.

basically mike is josh hutcherson. reader (you) are his live in PR assistant. not sure the perfect word for it, but basically you manage his social media presence, the way he dresses, how he is in public, attend all events with him to monitor him, etc…… kinda like a babysitter….. also, could technically be a part of olderbf!mike because reader is 22, mike is 31. anywaysss..! it’s a new idea, i just wanted to set the scene. the way i’m writing this is different from usual. plz let me know what you think! if y’all like i’ll write more in this universe🤭

summary: ur actor mike schmidt’s assistant!!

warnings: angsty, just an introduction to an idea.

————————

mike schmidt was a mess, and everybody knew it. that was part of what was so appealing to the public. he was a celebrity, a famous actor, known for various movies, tv shows. he was glamorized, lived in LA just like the rest of them, edits to upbeat songs all over social media with his hips swaying from some random snippet of a trailer. yes, mike schmidt was a heart throb, but he wasn’t your typical golden boy. he wore jeans and raggedy t-shirts to interviews. his brown curly locks were always tangled and sticking in fifty different directions. his stubble was always a little too rough, his hands calloused and bruised to masculine perfection. he wore snap backs and had no sense of what a filter was. he said things as they were on stages, into microphones, or on livestreams, silly phrases coming out of his pink lips. he was carefree, not glamorous nor slouchy but instead some odd middle ground that left women with slack jaws and puddles of drool. he was what every woman actually wanted when they said they wanted a man ‘written by a woman,’ or so they thought he was.

in reality, mike was the biggest pain in the ass to walk the earth. while most 22-year-olds got to save pictures of him to their pinterest boards and kick their feet every time he came into their tv screen, you were stuck managing his every move, saving his ass from letting the wrong thing fall from his mouth in front of the wrong audience. you were his manager, of everything, really. you managed his social media, coached him through what to say during interviews, inspected the clothing he wore before events… there wasn’t quite anything you didn’t do for mike. the two of you had a weird connection since you’d started, not quite foes but certainly not friends. the air was always somewhat tense, something you were all too aware of whenever you’d have an interaction with him. you knew it needed to change, and fast.

you’d gotten the job fresh out of college, extremely eager to take such a high paying position. you were lucky and you were aware, your gratitude something you showed through your endless devotion to being the best manager, and hopefully one day friend, mike could have. when you’d first been offered the position, part of what made it so appealing was knowing not only were you being paid, but you were given a room to stay, in the same home as mike. it was crucial, living alongside your boss in order to keep him in check. when you’d walked into a meeting room after you’d accepted the position, you were debrief about mike, told he was… difficult, to put up with. he tended to push his previous managers to the limit, his somewhat childlike demeanor sending them running the other direction. you accepted this as a challenge, something to motivate you to prove that you were worth more than the other old and dried up pieces of talent they’d had in here.

oh boy, did you have another thing coming. you weren’t any different to mike. sure, you were gorgeous, your eyes a color he could drown in, your laugh something he grew oh so fond of over the past few months you’d lived with him, but you were just another manager… right? it was his job to make this difficult for you. that’s how he saw it. so, you fought like you were pulling teeth, demanding he go change before going out like he was your 14-year-old daughter when he’d come out in a bleach stained t-shirt. you’d have to keep him from posting selfies of him smoking a joint on FACEBOOK just to cause a stir. for gods sake, you didn’t care if he put them anywhere else, just please, not where all the old people were. you’d argue late at night when you’d both head back to his place, your eyes filled with fiery anger after he’d drop some stupid shit in an interview, accidentally saying something about how one of his older costars were a “dried up old fashioned hag who needed to get some.” was he wrong…? no. but that didn’t mean he could say it.

he’d always yell back, his eyes filled with just as much anger. you went about this charade almost every time something had to be done. it could be a red carpet event, an awards dinner, an interview, even simply a live stream, there was always something with mike, something to yell and scream about. you constantly tried your hardest to stress how much you cared about this job, about him even too, sometimes blurring the line between professionalism and feelings as you’d get a little too intimate about the things you’d left behind, desperate for him to understand you, to see you.

it wasn’t until one night you’d finally had enough. he’d changed outfits right before a big interview that could’ve got him in front of multiple big directors, something big, even more groundbreaking for him. he’d been in an elegant outfit that fit his body so well, just like a glove, you could only imagine. of course, he hated it. he hated being coaxed into things, told what to do, to say, and currently, both were happening. when no one was watching, he’d slipped himself into a pair of black jeans and a tank top, walking out just like that, then proceeding to insult every director there individually. you were dumbfounded. no, he wasn’t drunk. no, he wasn’t high, medicated, or under any influence. this was just… mike, and you were starting to have enough.

the moment the two of you entered the house, you’d went at it, your face red from anger. how could he? how could he go out and blatantly go against everything you’d said purely out of boredom? he was a grown man, you’d think he could do better than this. you were embarrassed, not even for yourself as who represented him even though you should’ve been, but for him. you wanted this for him. your eyes locked on his, the moment you slammed the door shut. his big, beautiful brown eyes you most definitely didn’t mind looking into, no matter how angry you were. “mike, what the fuck,” was all you could say before he stuck his hand up. he went to turn on his heel, not even bothering to listen to a word you’d have to say.

that’s when you did something you didn’t think you’d do. this time, you’d let something slip, something you’d wished you hadn’t. “mike, if this shit doesn’t stop i’m fucking quitting, i’m leaving.”

that’s all it took.

that’s all it took for him to turn back on his heel to face you, frozen. his mouth was slightly parted, his eyes wider than you’d seen them before. he looked… angry.. confused.. no, not even. he looked… sad? he fluttered his eyes, his mouth opening and closing a little. you’d known you’d lasted longer than most, but this wasn’t what you were expecting.

“don’t,” was all he said, taking a couple of steps toward you. you stood there, frozen and tense as who was basically your boss slowly moved towards you, his demeanor different than you’d seen before. he was like a lost and wounded puppy, his dark brown eyes glistening with an emotion you’d never seen in him before. he reached out, touching your shoulder. you flinched, not even because you didn’t want him to but out of instinct.

“just, don’t go, y/n. i couldn’t take it, okay? i-i’m sorry, i’m sorry i fuck around too much, i’m sorry.. i just.. i don’t want you gone,” he said, his voice was low and growly. oh. he wanted you to stay. this was the first time he’d shown any interest in you in any way other than arguing, and you didn’t know what to do. with that being said, you did what you knew how to do best.

“okay,” you simply said, nodding your head as you went to your room. that night, you’d laid in your bed conflicted about the side of the man you lived with that you saw tonight. meanwhile, while you tossed and turned in your own sheets, mike did the exact same. little did you know, you were the only person mike had ever felt a real connection with. you were the only one patient, loving, thoughtful enough to be there for him, even through his hissy fits. he adored you, your style, your walk, your laugh, your humor, and he hated it. you were in his mind 24/7 and he hated it. but no, he could never get closer, because he knew you’d leave, just like the rest, and tonight was proof.

no, if mike were to ever attempt to get closer, you’d be the one to start it. and perhaps.. perhaps you would be, perhaps this encounter would be so engrained into your brain that you think about it daily, dissecting the look on his face. but who knows? maybe next week you’ll change your mind and pack your things, walk out the door. only the narrator knows quite what’s in store for the two of you…

[jqmalikhsgib]

ynstyles

5,673,000 Likes

ynstyles mama styles back after being gone for four months 😚

view all 46,000 comments

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ynstyles

12,093,844 Likes

ynstyles fun fact, i really don’t give af what others think about me. im still that bitch!!!

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ynstyles

16,000,000 Likes

ynstyles the way i love my husband! like, i will put up with all the bullshit over and over again. he’s worth all the hating ass bitches who have this weird obsession over our marriage, like…? be so forreal right now. if it’s not me, who do you think he’d pick? you?!?! girl, you’re like twelve years old, honey. get it together and stop hating on my relationship with your favorite artist. we literally want the same things babe, for harry to be happy and healthy. let’s move tf on, please?!?!

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harryupdates she’s so right. people just need to like get over it!!!

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ynstyles

8,744,000 Likes

ynstyles the look he gives me honestly makes my heart pound and my ovaries cry!!! put another baby in me @/harrystyles 😖

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[rockermazy]

All singing in the show is canonically diegetic - meaning that all singing 100% takes place in-universe, for all the characters to hear and potentially participate in.

In the first (non-pilot) episode, the " Story of Hell" book, as read by Charlie, states that Lillith "empower[ed] demon-kind with her voice and her songs - and as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power." After the extermination began, Lilith's "dream was passed down to her precious daughter, the Princess of Hell", who is presumably Charlie herself. Two scenes later, Charlie is in musical-notation hammerspace with other denizens, being the cognito hazard that she is.

In episode 7, Rosie invites Charlie to rally Cannibal Town in defending the hotel during the upcoming extermination. When Charlie initially fails, Rosie asks how she normally explains her hotel. Charlie replies, "Through singing". Singing is canonically a gift of both Charlie and every demon - both Hellborn and Sinner.

Which leads me to a theory: One thing that's been nagging me since the pilot, is how Lucifer and Lilith have been fucking for nearly 6,000 years, but only NOW decided to have a daughter in the 21st century. It makes Charlie's existence look almost Mary Sue-ish*. After watching Helluva Boss, it made more sense that Charlie might be an "insurance baby", much like Octavia is to Stolas' lineage. Lucifer might not be unkillable. Carmine and the hotel battle of episode 8 have both demonstrated that angels can be killed with the right ammunition. But why was Charlie born now, in the 21st century? My theory is that Heaven asked Lilith to leave Hell, hoping she'd take her song with her. Heaven knew that Lilith was the one making Hell stronger through her songs. Charlie uses song to rally the people around her.

Husk used song to heal.

Song, even when used to butt heads, (ex: Lucifer vs Alastor), will make combatants drop valuable info, basically outing themselves to everyone within earshot in this universe.

My guess is that a conversation sometime in the past went something like this: Heaven: Lilith, bitch - we see what you're doing. Stop teaching Hell how to sing - the bonding and wholesomeness is threatening our status quo." Lilith: No. Heaven: Fine, we'll exterminate. Lilith: (years later, looking at Carmine's charts) hmmm... the number of sinners getting exterminated each year seems to be climbing. Heaven might want all of us dead. Hey, Luci-boo... get your depressed-ass over here. You wanna make a kid this time? (Waits til Charlie is somewhat grown, and asks Heaven for a "meeting".) Lilith: ok, I have got an offer you cannot refuse - I will never EVER sing again, and my power will leave with me - IF you give me a spot in Heaven (or Earth - I should technically be immortal since I never touched the Forbidden Fruit). Heaven: um... win for everyone? ok! Charlie herself (for lack of a better term) might be Lilith's "ace in the hole" herself. Also, this makes me wonder if the only way to avoid lying is to avoid singing on the topic XD

*I have nothing against mary sues. I'd been wanting for years now to do something visual describing the internal turmoil that religious trauma caused in my The-Cell-starring-J-lo --like inner worlds. Telling personal stories and Mary Sues are inextricably intertwined. This show has inspired me to either keep pursuing that or just quit. Because picking apart past trauma for analysis can be more trouble than its worth - especially if you are ready to forget. u.u I still get deep chills every time I hear Emily and Charlie's duet in "You Didn't Know", even though I've officially considered myself atheist for like, what, three months?" This shit was an essay. I'm just going to play Warframe instead. Peace.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

https://www.tumblr.com/fukyourmind/729723043722690560?source=share

Archangel ari watching his demon lovers and they wanna let him relive his stress after dealing with an irritating soul

Irritating soul is Mr freezy

We diving down into Ari's spicy side now! Let's do this, An🫶n!

Side bar, this happens sometime after, Lloyd and Ari are allowed to marry, Y/N. Bunch of drama before this happens, but I won't spoil it for y'all.

The thing with Ari is that sometimes, he's tightly wound... It's why Lloyd loves to mess with Ari, but not to the point of pissing off both him and Y/N (he made that mistake once, and let's just say blue balls weren't the only problem he had). But sometimes, his archangel duties really get to him, and the souls he deals with really grinds his gears.

His current charge is Robert Pronge, a real pain in his ass. The guy was a real piece of work, who somehow kept Ari on edge, and stressed. Even worse, is when he's enjoying a day in with the people he loves most in the world, and is grinding against Y/N's barely covered backside, as he and Lloyd caress, kiss and suck every inch they can reach. And he gets called away to deal with the little fucker.

"God... Not now..." Ari groaned against Y/N's neck. Desperately burrowing his face into the crook of it, while squeezing her lace covered mounds.

"What's wrong, Sunshine? Did our foreplay make you cream your pants too early?" Lloyd smirked, mischievously smiling at Ari.

"God, I wish!" Ari sighed. Slowly removing himself from the sandwich, with a few light kisses to his lovers.

"I'm being called away..."

"No! Ari, you aren't supposed to even have any form of work today..." Y/N pouted turning around in Lloyd's arms to face the archangel, as the top demon resumed his delicious torture.

"I know... But I'm needed, and I can't disobey Them. That's part of the conditions set, when they agreed to let me keep my powers and both of you..." Ari said, zipping up his jeans, and fixing his navy blue buttoned shirt.

"You sure you have to go, Levinson? Cause it'll be worth it..." Lloyd teased, cupping the apex of Y/N's thighs, making her release a borderline pornographic moan.

"Yes. I'm sure. I don't want to, but I have to if I'm to keep the possibility of our future." Ari sighed, cupping Y/N's face and kissing her deeply, and pecking Lloyd's cheek, as he was nibbling Y/N's ear.

"Carry on without me. I'll be back before you know it..."

~

"Jesus Christ, Freezy! I'm supposed to be on fucking vacation with my loves. And you just had to fucking make an escape attempt today?!" Ari exclaimed, definitely not happy with his Charge. The ethereal being was sexually frustrated and disappointed that he's missing out on vacation sex and aftercare, and so he's taking it out on the menace to his personal life.

"Oh, please. All you archangels ever do is stand around like idiots waiting for the next order. You have nothing more important to do, but be my little bitch of the afterlife." Freezy cackled.

"I'm not just an archangel now! I am married to two of the best creatures on Earth. And we will have a family, and no one, especially not some pathetic scum of the Earth will stop me from enjoying the life I have with them." Ari cried, using his archangel blade to send Freezy back to hell where he belongs.

With that done, Ari dusted the dirt and ash off of his suit, opened his wings, and flew back to their new French vacation home. Flying into the wide open patio doors leading to the balcony attached to their bedroom.

"Y/N! Baby Angel? Lloyd?" He called wondering where they could be?" He wondered. Walking through the home until he heard Y/N beckoning.

"Ari! We've got something for you..." She sang. Ari chuckled, and amusedly shook his head before following the sound of his girl's voice.

The scene before him stopped him in his tracks, the living room, with a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower, was covered in rose petals, Y/N's horny playlist was playing, the lights were set low to create ambiance, and in the center of it all, his succubus wife dressed in the most sinful of the lingeries he had given her as a gift, sitting on a golden chair, one hand in her hair, the other, slowly and teasingly inching down her thigh towards her center.

"We've been waiting for you, my sweet Angel." Y/N sighed. Her voice hitching up a little as she started to slowly, achingly play with herself.

"We?" Ari asked, before being dragged down to an identical chair directly across from Y/N.

"We, Pigeon. Took you long enough! Our girl has been aching to do this all day..." Lloyd laughed, strutting towards their succubus, and patting the back of her head, giving her lips a soft peck, and unlatching the strappy bra, that was covering he luscious breasts, and giving them each a teasing squeeze.

"You left in such... A hurry... Ah... I knew you'd need release..." Y/N sighed. The stimulation making her lose her breath.

"And so, our clever girl came up with the idea of giving you a show. Working you up to pound her sweet pussy, like there's no tomorrow..." Lloyd finished for her, pulling her up to her feet and bending her over the chair. Exposing her plump ass to Ari, who was slowly pumping himself, before slapping it. Causing Y/N to squeal and tense up, both hands desperately clutching the back of the chair.

"And by the looks of things... I think you'd like the idea..." Lloyd said with finality. Grabbing Y/N, and getting on his knees in front of her, roughly pulling her panties down, and sucking and kissing marks all over her ass, before diving down to drink her seemingly endless flow of juices. Allowing Ari to watch it all unfold, before getting a taste.

~

Alright you, horny fucks 😆 this is the weirdest way to start it but, eh, it's a process.

🎉Welcome to the start of my Hundred Follower Celebration!!!🎉

Over the next few days, my asks are open for any questions about me or my writings, or even about celeb tea. And while I will answer your asks. I will also be uploading a handful of fics, so stay tuned and let's celebrate!

Because y'all are the best for allowing and helping me to reach this many followers, when a few months ago, I had zero. I'm saying thank you, from the bottom of my heart. And I look forward to growing even more with you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[daisychains111]

live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt.3 Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

Live tweeting as I read...back by popular demand (literally 1 person on Tumblr (@dumpsters-little-matchbook) asked me to do it again and I was already planning to)

stay strong Vi....just bc he's hot doesn't mean he's redeemed himself for his (understandably) traitorous ways

"she's worth a dozen of me" Xanden you shut up right now I'm mad at you

I'm glad Brennen's alive but I do not trust him at all...pretending to be dead for 6 years is fishy as fuck

hashtag: Andarna protection club...if anything ever happens to that dragon I'll burn the world

violet "I know more than you" sorrengail back in action

lol Brennen making fun of her love life

petition for violet and sgaeyl mother-daughter bonding

awww andarna, all growed up

moody teenage angst Andarna is the comedic relief we all didn't know we needed...nothing is as iconic as her growling at Violet for calling her my dearest

idk if Tairn signed up to be the sole father figure to two teenage girls but Violet and Andarna are about to give him a run for his money

he deserves not to trust Dain bc Dain is the scum of the earth

RIDOC AND RHIONNAN ARE SAFE AND ALIVE EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT IN THE WORLD

call his lying ass out Violet as you should

slay violets mom with the redeeming qualities...glad she actually cared if Violet was alive and isn't completely a heartless bitch

fuck dain but also FUCK HIS DAD

the fact that it's him who officially outs them makes me smile hehe

I agree Nadine...that was hot

Xaden being an absolute tease flirt bc she's mad at him is iconic

YAY SQUAD LEADER RHI!!!

the joke was funny, your friends ate just lame (jk I love them but still)

THE PRINCE???

awwww Liam's sister you better make it across istfg

noooo I wanted to be friends with Sloane

violet in her older sister era

gotta love the "is everyone I care about alive? yes? slay" moment

the fact that even tairn is warry of the orange dragon freaks me out

tairn reporting for fatherly duties will never not be my favorite...violet may be annoying but she's his annoying

I'm all for the Violet and Imogen friendship but they better not be mean to Rhiannan

also if Rhiannan gets annoying and jealous about them I'll be really sad

nooo I liked Nadine...who tf just snaps people's necks like that tf

Xaden warding her room so he's the only person who can come in COMEDY

SIMP

hehehe he wrote her a letterrr

violet lying to everyone about her feelings about Xaden except Tairn is so funny...like who's the dragon gonna tell

Xaden is winning every award ever rn bc 1. he's hot as hell, but 2. he's like I wanna sleep with you so bad, but I won't bc it's for the wrong reasons....honorable mf

literally FUCK VARRISH

Sloane needs to get her shit together and Violet needs to stop avoiding her friends

I'm like 80% sure they just got drugged but slay ig

called it...they were totally drugged

tairn comforting Violet about missing Xaden even though Tairn is the one with the bonded mate thing isn't being talked about enough

I would really love to know what those letters say...just saying, sharing is caring

I want to trust jesinia...I really do but it gives me a bad feeling

you let my babies see each other istg...violet is actively moving towards miserable without him

Imogen is slowly becoming the biggest violet/Xander fangirl and I love that for her

give it up Imogen...yall are friends

girlie just wants to be back in a library fr

period Rhiannan...don't put up with Xaden's shit....you threaten him like a bestie should

If Rhi and Violet don't stay friends I'll riot

ooooo don't mess with Tairn's kids...he'll bring that dad defensive

I'm so glad Violet is letting Rhiannan in..be besties again pls

HAHA "SHOWING OFF (MAKING OUT)" IN FRONT OF MIRA....ICONIC

"omg your falling for him" No matter how many times I hear that I'm media I will always be a sucker for it

"you're my only sibling" REALLY MAKING VIOLET SEEM LIKE A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR NOT TELLING MIRA ABOUT BRENNEN....UNCALLED FOR

tik tok says she finally just fucking forgives him in chapter 27... we're on 20, kick into gear people

at her core, Violet is really just like me fr.... 21-year-old girlie pop vibes for the win

 damn the disdain for Dian is STRONG

Rhiannan wins the bestie of the year award....being the best even tho Violet is being a fuckass about not telling her things

DAIN FIGHTING ISNT GONNA DO MUCH BC YOU DONT DESERVE HER AND NOW EVERYONE GETS TO WATCH AS SHE BEATS YOUR ASS

see, I knew her mom was a bitch

Rhiannan and violets friendship rn makes me so sad

This aaric dude better keep his mouth SHUT

really looking forward to Xaden beating the shit out of Dain for the shit he just pulled

besties having beef in private...which honestly I feel like will be a good thing

"that isn't a secret" I love ridoc....also Violet why tf would you think that's a valid secret

them getting graded for withstanding torture is WILD

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BRING DAIN INTO THIS VARRISH YOU BITCH

VARRISH YOU ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKER...I DESPISE YOUR SOUL

I hate dain to but I love him for that...thank you for being a rule-following asshat

two things: tairn constantly being like "duh your fine, I make great choices" is so sweet but absolutely hilarious....and Rhiannan being a slay icon is my favorite thing

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN JACK IS BACK FROM THE ACTUAL DEAD....SHUT UP RIGHT NOW

I'm so ready to watch the Fab 4 (I've decided that I'm calling ridoc, rhi, sawyer, and Violet this bc they are so slay) kill jack again bc wtf

YES CHAPTER 27 I'VE HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU

watch Mira walk in on them right now...that'd be so freaking funny

tairn and Violet's father-daughter bonding is my fave

tairn is a grade-A overprotective father... it's adorable

no literally....tairn is so over her 21 bullshit...I love them

I have no recollection of who Kaori is...but him standing up to varrish makes him my favorite

YES YES YES LET FAB 3/4 KNOW ALL THE SECRETS

ridoc having the vibes to give violet a hard time while his world was just flipped on its head is why I love him

also shout out to Imogen and Quinn bc yall are slay too

why did Jack save her life...go back to being an ass, not sucky jack is frightening

"argue with you about books? I only pick fights I can win" Xaden clearly knows his place

literally just sobbing at the Liam cameo

why does Varrish keep responding to Liam...is Violet talking out loud or like did he pull a jack

damn dain is just...redeeming himself...didn't have that on my 2024 bingo card

her mom redeeming herself too? damn we're on a redemption roll

very serious war book until someone says something like "show off" during an important meeting (cough garrick cough) and you remember that these bitches are in their 20s

Brennan, Xaden, and tairn: violet protection squad

ANDARNAS BACK YYYAAAYYY

YUH SLAY FOURTH WING

flame section is the iron section? One might say they're the iron flame....wink wink

patiently waiting for a sorrengail sibling reunion...pls bring Mira into the loop

YES MIRA BEAT HIS ASS

Mira beating the shit out of Brennan, Violet yelling at them to grow tf up, and ultimately Mira and Brennen rebonding over the ickiness of xaden/violet pda...the best sibling reunion EVER

"I have control" girl be so for real rn...the only time you use your power is when you're mid-orgasm, you're not controlling shit

Mira and Xaden being "let's overprotect violet" partners in crime...straight vibes

Andarna: The Hungry One (trademark)

oooooooo violets in trooouubbblleeee

jealous Violet storyline is about to be just as stupid as I'm keeping my friends safe by distancing myself Violet storyline

oh God not talking in 3rd person

"I wasn't in love with you then," *jim halpert camera stare* stfu xaden

DAMMMMNNNNN he's def being annoying but saying he's acting like dain is looooooowwwww

yeah cat just stfu...violet is better than you don't be a bitch

YOU WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN VIOLET...TORTURE HIM BUT ISTG IF YOU LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT BS....

YESSS Liam mentions make me so happy...also I'm so ready for Violet and Sloane to bond

dain just bc you saved her doesn't mean you're not on extremely thin ice...stfu

HA, a length joke...I like Maren

IF YOU KILL RIDOC RIGHT NOW REBECCA, I WILL HAUNT YOU

HES SAFE....fab 4 lives another day

cat's a bitch...that's all

Cat's a bitch...but you know who isn't? Rhiannan. gave her bestie the best fighting skills

well that's one way to combat jealousy

he really said "You were annoying and emotional last year, this year it's my turn" Live laugh love healthy relationships

fab 4 are my favorite group of fantasy besties ever....icons..every single one of them

I'm very very excited for the Sawyer and Jesinia subplot...also I don't think I'm opposed to a Dain redemption arch, he just needs to learn his place

"I might even be in love with him after that declaration" HA game recognizes game dain, love that for you

ROLL CREDITS

Garrick doesn't get enough credit for being just as awesome as Rhi....slay besties

girlie pop bickering with a side of danger mission and dragon obedience school...my favorite

HAH grammar jokes

 "I get the feeling that this '2nd signet' thing is gonna be a BIG issue...like the plot twist that ends the book BIG

tbh I feel like I don't know him either so I get why she's mad at him

BRUUUUHHH he redeems himself with the "less than a minute" comment

tairn is girl dad...yelling at Violet and Andarna for their shit, yelling at Xaden for talking to Violet...girl dad icon

"Mom and Dad are fighting" See tairn and Sgaeyl are Mom and Dad

poor mama sorrengail...that's not the best way to break that news brennen you bitch

I'm really hoping Violet gets iron squad to go help bc them leaving the others to die is bullshit

they mentioned that the venin had runes, but they were confused as to how. cat is the best at them, and I really really really don't like how sus that is

everyone is so over Violet and her friends bc they're the only ones saying true things

YUH IRON SQUAD...my favorite squad of besties

FUCKING JACK

that was the most stressful thing ever read in my life...if Rhiannan dies I will never recover

I thought Sawyer was going to die and I started crying

YES ANDARNA BE SPECIAL AND SLAY

The fact the andarna hatched just for Violet is so sweet

you better not fucking sacrifice yourself right now violet unknownmiddlename sorrengail

DUMBASS

rip mama sorrengail...this was the redemption arch you deserved

violet breaking down to Rhi is EVERYTHING

FAB 4 LIVES TO SEE ANOTHER DAY (along with Imogen, Quinn, Sloane, Jesinia, Aaric, Maren, and Cat because yall bitches grew on me)

yay xaden's safe, was worried for a bit

IM SORRY WHAT NOW

I'M SORRY WHAT NOW

saying that xaden cant feel sgaeyl better be a fucking joke rn

FUCKING JACK

[peachymilkandcream]

Ready or Not|Part 1|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: I'm so psyched that we can start the next series! If you all thought it was over we're no where close! While this series is going to be shorter I guarantee it's going to be a freaking blast! Comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc

=============================================

Erwin found him two days later, when Levi refused to show for work or any of his responsibilities the Commander was forced to drag himself over there and soothe the child's temper tantrum. Probably had too much liquor and too little sex to keep his erratic personality under control.

He didn't have time for this. If he didn't need Levi so much he would've swept him out years ago. He was a good soldier, but he wasn't reliable. How could he continue to run a government with a soldier sabotaging the carefully made trust he'd established.

The house was empty, he swore if Levi went to a fucking bar again he'd really chew his ass this time. Maybe he'd threaten to take Evelyn and his child away until Levi learned how to juggle his responsibilities like an adult.

He was in the living room, the whole place torn to bits after yet another obvious tantrum. But something was off about this one, this time he didn't even acknowledge Erwin's presence, like he was deeply disturbed about something and didn't give a shit about anything else.

"Levi. What happened."

"She's gone Erwin, she's fucking gone!" He emphasized the last word by throwing his empty bottle against the brick fireplace.

"So she finally left you, didn't she?"

"She escaped, I don't know where the hell she went, but I'm going to find out. I'm going to find whoever helped her, and kill them. My son, that bitch took my son!" Levi wept, the first time Erwin had ever seen him so emotional, usually he stopped at nothing to conceal his emotions and appear weak. Poor bastard.

"I'm sure she hasn't gone far, we'll just have to look for her."

"I'll hunt her down to the ends of the earth!"

"Calm down Levi."

"Calm down, calm down!? How can you expect me to be so calm when my wife and child are missing!? They're all I have and you tell me to calm down!?"

Erwin rolled his eyes, the temper tantrums were almost ridiculous at this point. "I won't help you until you relax."

He wiped at his eyes. "Fine, I'm calm, I'm calm."

"Better. Now pull yourself together, and we'll solve this thing."

"Why the hell do you care?"

"I need you stable Levi, and I need your wife's good reputation to keep on top. If it means starting a nationwide manhunt for one woman and toddler then so be it."

=============================================

The sea breeze suited Evelyn well, it had taken a lot of courage for her to get on that boat. The fear of the unknown had paralyzed her for too long, causing the ship's captain to ask her several times if she was actually coming aboard.

But she had. She'd stepped forward into her new future, a life of freedom. And while it had taken a small chunk of her funds to be taken so secretly across the sea it was worth it for this view. Sparkling blue as far as the eye could see. Her last trip by ship was overshadowed with the fear of the world ending, now she could actually enjoy these moments with her son.

Furlan, in the past years he had grown to look just like his father. And while Levi had always been a shitty husband, he was a stellar father, so much in fact that the boy seemed to already prefer him over his mother. The past few nights he'd taken to sobbing uncontrollably since he missed his dear Papa so fiercely. Hopefully he would grow out of it, she couldn't bear to think about a world where her child only desired to be loved and cared for by his abusive father. Perhaps since she was pregnant under such dire circumstances the child craved violence like his father.

The wind threatened to undo all her hard work of getting her hair to stay, but it seemed out here was the only way to get Furlan to stop crying. He held onto her dress firmly, watching the waves as they bounced up and down. This would be good for him, good for both of them. All three of them. Evelyn and her two children, both born and unborn would be able to find a life of peace and tranquility away from Levi.

A fresh start.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

I saw your post about "feel free to vent" and god, I don’t even think that I love that pathetic guyfailure in your way, but I follow you and read your posts, because they bring me joy (although I don’t always agree with everything you say) and you’re one of the few people who’s willing to talk about how unhinged, pathetic and entirely deranged jiang zongzhu is. I’m so fucking tired of jc fandom, the way they turned him into something entirely unrecognisable from his canon self, turned him into weepy little bitch with gaping hole for every single "gege" on the block to fuck.

They make me genuinely hate him. I see that oc!jc committing identity fraud and I hate him. I hate him so much. My only content in this fandom is the novel, it’s the only thing that provides me with content. How fucking delightful he is there? I don’t fucking get. Jc stans say you’re a fucking jc anti or whatever the fuck, but no one actually hates jc more than his fucking stans do. the fucking torture of watching your fave being flandarised. their fucking omegaverse rotten brains yelling and crying about his tiny waist and childbearing thighs. Have you seen the art of him? What kind of caricature they turn him into? Fucking twink that will be blown away by the wind and his "geges" that will catch him midair and fuck everliving fuck out of him because uwu he did nothing wrong, he’s innocent, he’s little precious baby boy meowmeow tsundere. They yell so hard about how misunderstood he is, but they’re the ones misunderstanding his character most. They have no respect for canon material. Most of them haven’t read the fucking novel because they HaTe wAnGxIAn sO mUcH, they pick up disgusting fanon bullshit and run with it claiming it somehow to be canon.

Canon!jc would fucking rip that oc!jc in tiny little shreds, torture him violently and vomit on his corpse.

what have they turned his relationship with jin ling into? what are they fucking doing to that precious golden brat? why no one fucking enjoys their canon relationship that don’t lack complexity and depth. Why do they turn him into weird kid obsessed with his uncle? who has no life outside his uncle, who fights "jiujiu stealers" like it’s his full time job??? Jin ling is his own character, he’s going through so much, his fucking family is insane, he’s dealing with bullying, he’s working his ass off to impress his uncle who put high expectations on him.

what they turn "geges" into? they come and yell how lwj has no personality, that he’s just a "top" but then they do exactly the same shit with other characters? they’re genuinely making me hate lxc. I despise xicheng with burning fucking passion. I’m in a ooc competition, and xicheng stans are my opponents *insert squidward here*

chengxian makes my fucking blood boil because THATS ONE WAY TO ENTIRELY MISUNDERSTAND BOTH OF THEIR CHARACTERS AND TURN COMPELLING "BROTHER" CONFLICT INTO THE MOST BORING FUCKING SHIT THAT THE EARTH HAS WITNESSED. they way they just go OMG WWX LOVED JC SOOOOOO MUCH LWJ HATES JC BECAUSE HE KNOWS WWX LOVES HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING, HIS SACRIFICE IS AN ACT OF LOVE, HE LOVED HIM, HE DID IT OUT OF LOVE. why would they entirely erase wwx’s character development like that? wwx’s entire fucking arc is about learning to see his self worth, learning that the life he had at lotus pier wasn’t it, FUCKING HELL yllz literally was comforting himself with thoughts of never meeting the jiangs. My guy literally was lying there unable to sleep and was thinking about how running away from dogs and being a beggar is infinitely better than the jiangs. It’s literally in the fucking book. I don’t fucking GET IT.

I remember one time mentioning that of fucking COURSE, the manhua would erase the "golden core reveal" as in how jc lost it, because ultimately wangxian is the most important part of the story and jc is some guy wwx finally gets rid of in order to digest his traumas in a safer space and find happiness elsewhere because clearly he wasn’t happy at lotus pier. and they fucking??? came up with an AU???? as a response to me????? where wwx comes back to lotus pier because HE LOVES JC MORE THAN ANYTHING WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO very good argument, very nice talk.

I’m so fucking sick and tired, I muted jc’s name and tag on twitter and here even though I genuinely like the guy. It pains me. It causes me fucking brain damage. I want to enjoy my fandom experience, I want to be able to talk about this dudenobody and have fun. I so hate being here, I want to be free.

I’m so sorry to vent like that. 😭

I will use this as a general jump start of fandom griping regarding this entire debacle since this, this right here, should not be a normal thing that fandom has to send anonymously due to being scared of the vitriolic backlash received.

I have been nice, I have been sarcastic, I have been a troll, and despite my initial kindness and patience when I first started interacting with this fandom, I was met with consistent death threats and homophobia about a fictional male character and why I am less then patient now for Jiang Cheng stans. Other people should not HAVE to apologize for not enjoying a completely made up fandom persona and getting bit at for this. By all means go ahead and enjoy a fanon persona, by all means ask for supporting evidence when someone is arguing they do not like a character.

I interact with other Jiang Cheng fans just fine outside of this, they are not the ones I speak of in this. The ones I am addressing are the vitriolic ones that are angry about anything close to being taken as "anti" regarding an in story antagonist that does exhibit antagonistic behavior time and again with leading text and citations. It doesn't matter if he is someone that is enjoyed, somehow it's "wrong".

And hey. I DO disagree on several different interpretations in this fandom, but NONE of them have ever garnered the hate I have gotten in my 3 years in this fandom the way I chose to discuss Jiang Cheng. When told to use another tag, it was done, but again it was done incorrectly, when I stopped using anti at the behest of other fans, I did because hey, it was able to reach a wider audience, that did enjoy the character himself and wanted deeper understanding outside of fanon only that pervaded the tag meant for "Jiang Cheng".

I certainly do not deny his instances of kindness, but how dare I ascertain that all if this in context is not a reflection of positivity for him within the plot he is meant for, no matter time and again saying he has an opening for himself to do better in the future for others that have yet to be hurt by him, or are willing to salvage what they still have.

I should not have to be told I just want to fuck a dude as a "joke" and a comeback because of how I go and point out what he's like in the work. That is casual homophobia and shockingly sexual harassment. Or be told to think of it as a sibling who uses drugs and it's therefore alright to demean said character, or deny the blatant abuse this character exhibits or uses because he also had been abused by an adult.

I do not need to be tolerant of a side of fandom due to all the above treatment and others deal with.

[porcelana-r0ta]

Bound for Glory

Fandom: Night In The Woods

Word Count: 2119

Ao3 Link: Only available to registered Ao3 users

Summary: Casey Hartley is nineteen and isn’t ready to grow up (and he won’t).

xxXxx

He strikes the match against the sandpaper side of the matchbox, igniting his small world of the night sky and the train tracks. He brought the orange flame to the tip of his cigarette, and once the flame took, he shook the match out. Dropping it, he stomps on the burned out match: Smokey Bear would be proud. Or disappointed. 

Shoving the box of matches in his hoodie pocket, Casey Hartley takes his first drag of the cigarette as he resumes walking west. The smoke fills his lungs, clouding his organs, stretching them and destroying them all in one. He blows out. He can’t see the smoke under the new moon. The only light on the train tracks lives with the stars and the dim ember of his cancer stick.

“What, not gonna offer me a light?” Cain asks, flipping his Zippo out and sparking the end of his Marlboro. 

“You hate my matches,” Casey says. 

“‘Cause it’s not fuckin’ 1923, damn.” Despite lighting his cigarette, Cain keeps his Zippo out, flicking the flint wheel. Sparks fly, but never catch. 

Casey likes matches. Likes lighting them up and letting the flame crawl down to his fingertips. Likes blowing them out and smelling the woody smoke of their dying breath. Likes stomping them beneath his feet. Likes using them for his cigarettes or blunts, going through the same motions as thousands of smokers before him and the invention of the lighter. Likes feeling like something. Feeling like there’s something other than Possum Springs. 

Mae got out, at least. And Angus and Gregg are saving to get out. 

He and Bea, though? 

He brings the cigarette to his lips and inhales. Holds it. Lets it out in a sigh. 

“Cain—”

“No,” his cousin says immediately. 

“No?” 

“No, you can’t join the business.” 

Casey is offended, “I don’t want to join your business.” 

“Good,” Cain says. He flicks his cigarette, sending ash to the tracks. “You’re gonna have a future, you know.” 

His stomach curdles. “In Possum Springs?” He tries to keep his tone wry and playful, but his bitterness takes over. Consumes, like the smoke. 

“You can leave. Get a job, like your gay friends. Gary and Angie, or whatever.” 

“Gregg and Angus.” Casey rolls his eyes. 

“That’s what I said.” 

"Uh-huh."

“Yeah, whatever. Point is, you don’t have to be like me. Mary and Bryan love you. They’ll support you even if you get a bitch pregnant and walk out on her.” 

His mom would sooner beat his ass for walking out on a girl after knocking her up, but Casey doesn’t argue the point. 

“That’s not the problem.”

“Yeah?” Cain’s voice takes on a hint of arrogance, the inflection he uses whenever he successfully blows a smoke ring. It’s too dark to tell, but Cain is always sure of himself. “Enlighten me.” 

Casey kicks at the ground, hoping to strike a rock, and only scuffs a plank on the track. 

“I dunno what I wanna do.”

“What, with life? For a job? No one does.” 

The lit end of his cigarette shakes in time with his fingers. “No. Or yes? I don’t know what I’m fucking doing.” 

“Yeah, and no one does. Life is a guessing game, man.” 

“Well, it sucks. The only thing I know is I don’t wanna stay in this shithole town. Maybe I should just hop on a train already.”

“Possum Springs ain’t that bad.” 

Casey scoffs. 

“No, really. It’s kinda nice, minus the xenophobia.”

“Huh, so you did pay attention in high school.

“Shut it, kid.” Cain punches his shoulder. He’s only seven years older, which isn’t that much older, but Cain milks it for all it’s worth. 

They’re quiet for a long moment, the only sounds being their feet on the tracks and earth and their sighs of smoke. Then Cain suddenly breaks it. 

“I wanted to be a teacher.” 

Casey looks down, startled. “What?”

“‘S true.” He flicks his cancer stick. Cinders falls and die in the dark. “Loved art. Loved Mrs. Terry. Wanted to make other kids like me feel like they were worth a damn.”

Casey knows the name, even if he never took art class himself in high school. Mrs. Terry had taken Cain in after he was kicked out, at least until Casey’s parents found out and gave him the spare room. Cain stayed there until he scrimped up enough money for his trailer house. 

“It was really cool of her to take you in like that,” he says quietly in the night. 

“Yeah,” his cousin agrees. “Mrs. Terry’s real cool. She said I could make it. But college’s expensive. ‘N I’m just a dealer now.” 

Casey’s not good with this, with comforting people or supporting people. But he can’t say nothing. 

“Maybe you can save up. Do a ju-co, then something cheap for your last two years.” 

Cain scoffs a laugh. “No…. Nah, that’s just not me.”

He drops his cigarette and steps on it, suffocating the fire. Killing its short life. “Seriously, Case. You can do whatever you want, and your parents will help you. I’ll help, too. You’re my cousin, more like brother, honestly. You can take all the time you need to decide what you want in life.” 

But Casey’s not in high school anymore, he doesn’t want to go to college, and he feels stuck in place. He doesn’t want to grow up. He wants to stay Casey Hartley, seventeen years old, rage-playing drums while Gregg plays guitar and Mae plays bass and Angus sings. He wants to commit crimes with Gregg and Mae, wants to lift snacks from the Snalcon and smoke weed in the upper office of the old Food Donkey and referee Gregg’s and Mae’s dumb knife fights. 

God. He won’t even be a teenager in a few months. His twentieth birthday is creeping up. 

He’s scared of getting a job. He’s scared of hating his job and being stuck with it. He’s scared of taxes. He’s scared of finding an apartment to rent. He’s scared of never owning a house. He’s scared of owning a house.  He’s scared of Cain being arrested. He’s scared that Mae will never come back. He’s scared that Gregg and Angus will leave and never come back. He’s scared that Bea will be crushed under the weight of the Ol’ Pickaxe and her negligent father. He’s scared that he’ll be all that’s left of them, left behind in dying Possum Springs, left behind to die here with no one but conservative asshats and nothing to do and nothing accomplished that means anything.

His parents will stay, and they are young, but they aren’t getting younger, and a good son dies after his parents. He’s scared of that. Of being with just them until old age claims them and then he really is—

a   l   o   n   e

He doesn’t want to grow up.

The train tracks start to rumble, quiet and gentle. A headlight beams behind them, though it has not reached their backs quite yet. Casey steps off on the right, and Cain goes left. 

“You’re right,” Casey says instead of any of his fears. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.” He looks at the stars and hums. “Look, it’s late. I’m going home. You should, too.” 

The train gets closer and louder. The light reaches them.

Casey has to yell, “Yeah, I will. See you later!” 

“I—”

Cain’s response is stolen by the train, cutting in between them and blocking Casey’s path back to town. 

The train wails as Casey lights another cancer stick. He lets the fire creep to his fingers before dropping the match and stomping it out beneath his black canvas shoe, his fingers stinging as he puts the cigarette between his lips. 

The air is warm with the birth of summer. He shouldn’t even be in his black hoodie in this weather, but it’s the same hoodie he’s had since sophomore year and he’s not good at letting go. It was only during the hottest August days that he’d shed the hoodie in previous years.

He hums “Die Anywhere Else” as the train passes, whistling and crooning all the way. He finishes his cancer stick, considers lighting another, but ultimately doesn’t. 

When he gets to the chorus, his chest burns, and he sings the words instead of humming the melody. That part was always meant for Mae. But she had bigger and better plans than an idiot like him who was scared and clueless all at once for his future and would throw that future away as soon as he gathered the courage to hop a train.

Maybe I should just jump on the train, he thinks to himself. Leave for Durkillesburg. Crash with Mae for a weekend or two. Start finding my own place.

But his legs are stuck in place, just like he is. Glued down by fear. Petrified of the culmination of the future of his wrong decisions.

The train eventually passes, and Casey is expecting to be alone, Cain long gone to his trailer. But he’s not. 

Someone stands on the other side of the tracks, a silhouette in the darkness. They are tall and look like they are wearing something long, like a trench coat, maybe. Some kind of hard hat rests on their head. 

A crusty, his mind supplies, a vain attempt to calm his heart. His fur stands on end, his blood going cold. He’s jumped off the train, just like a million other crusties.

For a moment, the two can only stare. 

“Casey Hartley?” they ask. They sound male. No crusty is likely to know his name—he’s befriended some, sure, but they hardly ever return, and they wouldn’t just assume that the first shadowy figure they see is him. 

“No,” he says. “Cain, actually. Casey’s my cousin.” 

Their hand goes up to their head. A clicking noise is instantly followed by a beam of bright light. 

Casey flinches back, his arm raising to block the light. He squints against it, trying to make out who is across the tracks. His stomach drops and he takes several panicked steps back, the other suddenly on the same side of the tracks as him. 

“Look like Casey to me,” the person notes, voice dangerous. 

He’s not going to try pleading his case. He turns and bolts.

He makes it maybe five yards before there’s a bang and a sharp pain in his right calf. 

He falls, yelping, sweating, crying. He claws at the dirt, forcing himself to turn over so he’s not face-down and accepting death quietly. Anywhere else, he tells himself. Anywhere fucking else. I won’t die here.

“You fuckin’ shot me!” he cries. He reaches for his leg with a trembling hand, expecting a bleeding bullet hole, but instead he feels something cool and cylindric with fine hairs coming out from the top. He yanks it out and throws it, terror mixing with drowsiness. 

No, wait—

He immediately regrets the action, belatedly realizing it could have been his own weapon if he’d kept it. Fuck.

“No,” says the person, confirming what Casey has already concluded. “I tranq’d you.”

“Why?” His vision spins. He feels alert and subdued all in one. His stomach twists. His body is heavy, like he’s trying to pull himself out of the public pool after being in all day. Please, no. Don’t sleep. Don’t fucking sleep. Don’t even lay down.

“Don’t be scared, Casey.” The person kneels next to him, still bright and unknown. It hurts his eyes, but he’s so scared that if he closes his eyes, he won’t open them ever again. 

Casey swings at him, but his hands glance off, doing nothing against this monster. They coo and cup the back of his head, fingers grasping Casey’s fur, their other hand grabbing at Casey’s upper arm. They force Casey to lay down, and he’s full-on sobbing now despite the call of sleep. 

“No,” he begs. “Pl’s, no. Don’ do this to me.” 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. This is for you, Casey, and your family. Your parents. Possum Springs doesn’t need another dealer, hmm? But we need business. This is just business, Casey. It’ll all be over soon. You won’t even know it when you’re gone.” 

“Nnnnnnnoooooooooo.” It’s a low moan, grieved and miserable. It takes the rest of his energy, his body numbing, his mind clouding. He tastes smoke.

He wants his dad. He wants his mom. 

Did he say bye to them this morning? When was the last time he said he loved them? He can’t remember—it's all too fuzzy now.

“Shh, shh. Just go to sleep, Casey. It won’t hurt none.” 

He’s supposed to fucking grow up. 

He falls asleep instead.

xxXxx

Casey Hartley's away message:

BORN 2 LOSE COUNTRY TRASH PROUD DRUMMER SK8 AND DESTROY SK8 2 CR8 BOUND FOR GLORY

[unknown-lifeform]

Feel free to skip this if you're not familiar with the movies, but in honor of Halloween, a ffvii/Alien crossover: What would Genesis do, Cloud thought distantly, slotted in the fire materia, and stepped towards the Alien queen and her prey. "Get away from him, you bitch!"

@soawen ooh spooky themed! I haven't rewatched Alien in way too long but I think I remember enough to write up a little something. Some warning about general horror stuff for the fic ahead

-----

Cloud swallowed down his grunts of pain as he walked. His ankle protested with every step he took. Not broken, no way he would be able to keep going otherwise, but it was going to swell up twice the size soon enough.

If he lived long enough to see that bruise, well that'd be a real miracle. The only way would be to grab an escape ship. But Cloud had been forced to run in the opposite direction to avoid being killed. Besides that, he couldn't in his right mind leave this place and abandon whoever else may be left alive.

He had to lean against a wall, grimacing. It hurt. What was he even walking for? From what he knew, everyone else here was dead, and Cloud couldn't outrun the facehuggers forever.

Maybe he should keep going until he found a gun, at least. If he was going to die that'd hurt less, and give the aliens one less chance to reproduce.

The next step almost had his ankle buckle. What had made Cloud ever decide to sign up for this? Being one of the first settlers on a new planet paid good, but no amount of money was worth dying this way. No glory to be had, not when Cloud was just part of base security. Sure, he got to run away from all the mistakes he had made and all the people he had disappointed, and what a great fucking fresh start he had had.

Slowly, he peeked around a corner. No monsters. There was a corpse, tough.

Cloud limped to it. Not someone he knew personally, at the very least. He didn't think he could take seeing more friends burst open.

The blood was starting to dry out. Cloud hoped that meant the alien baby had long since ran off already, and that it wasn't hiding around somewhere. Not that there were lots of places to hide here.

Cloud dropped down to his knees, trying to look anywhere but inside the gaping hole in this poor bastard's chest. Quickly, he patted down the corpse. Please have a gun, please have a gun-

Something hard under the sleeve. Cloud pushed it up, and found a Materia vambrace.

Now that was a find. Not everyone here could afford to have Materia. Few planets produced it aside from Earth, making it extremely valuable. Cloud had gotten a little training from Genesis, but he didn't have his own.

Fuck, Genesis. Where was he? Cloud hadn't seen him among the bodies. Hopefully he was still kicking somewhere, or had found a way out. He could be a pain in the ass, but a good guy in the end. Right after getting here Cloud had been put under Genesis's supervision, and his training might be the only reason Cloud was still alive.

It figured that if someone could get out of here alive it'd be Genesis, or someone else on his level. Sure as hell not a shmuck like Cloud.

He quickly secured the vambrace on his own arm. There was one enhancement equipped, but nothing really useful. He searched the corpse's pockets.

A screech. Cloud's head whipped around. He couldn't see it, but it had to be nearby. Fuck. His fingers closed around a round, smooth object. Struggling not to whimper, Cloud pocketed the Materia and got back to his feet.

As fast as he could, he walked down the hallway, trying to get away from the noises. Hopefully he hadn't been spotted. These things were good, if one of them was stalking Cloud it wouldn't let him hear it. Unless it was drawing Cloud into an ambush. But it only took a single alien to kill some scrawny little human, no need for pack hunting.

He turned a corner. A second. More corpses, that Cloud refused to look at too closely. The pale body of a chestbuster, that someone must have managed to kill when it was still in its vulnerable early moments. One yellow, sizzling stain on the wall, that Cloud tried to avoid.

Another corner, and Cloud almost screamed. It was fucking big. The aliens he had seen so far weren't this large. For a moment, Cloud accepted that this was it.

Except. It wasn't moving. The thing laid on the ground, head turned Cloud's way, but completely still. More of those stains were around its body. Dead.

So someone else was alive, and armed. Or at least they had been recently. That gave Cloud a little hope that not everyone was lost.

Carefully, he stepped closer to the dead alien. When they had first realized the breach, before everything had gone to shit, someone had said that they had heard of something like this before. Horrible parasitic aliens, that was. They said from what little was known they likely acted like ants, with one big queen and lots of smaller workers.

Now... was this a queen? It was bigger than the others, Cloud was sure, but not by a lot. Not many differences aside from the size. Maybe it was a normal alien, just slightly bigger.

Cloud jumped when he heard the sound of a gunshot. There was someone else. Forgetting all about the pain, he almost ran towards the noise. This way should be towards the storage rooms, which was still far from the escape ships, but two people had better chances of running than one.

More gunshots. A low hiss, barely audible, but that still sent shivers down Cloud's back. Screams of anger.

Wait. He knew that voice. It was Zack. Also security, but in a different team than Cloud, his supervisor was Angeal. Zack was a good guy, he knew what he was doing.

At the last moment, before entering the room Zack and the alien was in, Cloud stopped to carefully peek in instead of bursting inside. His blood froze over.

That had to be the queen. It was huge. Way, way bigger than all the rest. And so fucking ugly, massive head, multiple reaching arms. It had Zack in a corner, and he was shooting at her, but the bullets just ricocheted off its exoskeleton.

Cloud felt about to faint just seeing it.

Zack's gun clicked. He swore, but no more bullets came out. The queen made a noise that could not be further from human, but still felt like laughter.

"Fuck you!" Zack shouted, a last helpless attempt at standing strong.

Cloud's hand slipped into his pocket. The Materia was there, ever so slightly warm against his finger. Fire. Good offensive power, it could help Cloud run.

The queen stepped closer to Zack, slowly, apparently toying with its food.

Was there literally anyone else left alive here, but Cloud and Zack?

What would Genesis do, Cloud thought distantly. Shaking, he slotted in the Fire Materia, and stepped towards the Alien queen and its prey. "Get away from him, you bitch!"

The monster turned towards him. A mouth that could easily bite his head off opened to let out a growl.

"Run!" Zack shouted. As if Cloud could, in the state he was in. As if it would be any use now that this thing had spotted him.

"I said get away," Cloud shouted, fighting the shake in his voice that had joined the one in his legs.

The queen stepped towards him, snapping her jaws.

Now Cloud, he was good enough with Materia. Genesis taught it well. Fire was one of his favorites, too. Despite the terror, it was easy for Cloud to lit the first spark, and then let it blaze into a wave of flames.

This time the queen didn't brush it off like it did with the bullets. A terrified screech came from it, and it jumped back, trying to put some distance between itself and the heat. Fire, huh. Of all things, something as basic as fire scared these things off.

Cloud kept it going. Lighting the fire up turned draining fast, but he didn't let up. He kept the flames going and was rewarded with the screams turning from fear to what might be pain.

But a spell couldn't be held up forever. Eventually the fire fizzled out, and Cloud was blind for a moment at the sudden lack of light.

The queen was stumbling. Not dead yet, not even after being submerged in enough fire to char most other living things. The exoskeleton looked damaged, but it stood.

"In the back!" Zack shouted. He made a dash towards the door, using the interruption to escape. "There's fuel in the back!"

Storage room. Cloud had aimed his fire at the queen, closer to him, but he could see the containers lined by the far wall. Between him and those, what he hadn't noticed so far: the eggs. So many of them.

Cloud lit the flames a second time, aiming for the eggs. The queen screamed, turning to its quickly cooking brood. It looked torn for a moment, as if not knowing whether to protect them or attack Cloud.

The tongues of fire reached past the eggs, and to the fuel.

Zack and Cloud were blown backwards by the explosion. Cloud's face burnt.

"Come on," Zack said, grabbing Cloud by the arm. "We gotta run."

"My leg," Cloud gasped.

"I'll help, just run!"

Struggling, Cloud managed to stand, one arm around Zack's shoulders. His ears rang. He could barely make out the crackle of fire and the pained shots of the queen.

They had barely managed to reach the next hallway before a second boom shook the air, and the heat behind them increased. There had to be multiple containers there. Some Cloud had lit up, and some had managed to resist the fire for a couple minutes.

In theory, all fuel was stored in high-safety, fireproof containers, so that even if one lit up the others might be able to resist. Clearly someone had lied about that. Not that Cloud would complain about it now.

"Is there anyone else left?" Zack asked.

"Not that I know of."

"Fuck. Alright, we gotta head towards the escape ships, other people might be down there."

Cloud hissed, his ankle about to give out for good. "There's plenty of those there."

"They might be confused if the queen is killed," Zack said, and then laughed. "Shit, man, you're a blessing. I was about done there."

Despite the pain, Cloud managed to grin. Shit, he had done that. Set the bitch right on fire and all. He couldn't believe it. And they still had the Materia, they could take on more of these things with it until they found more weapons.

Maybe he was going to come out alive of this.

[shizuu-chann]

I need to write my thoughts, so if you have no interest in Horizon: Forbidden West, then feel free to move along. No worries. But I have Thoughts about the Burning Shores DLC, more specifically the introduction of Seyka as a love interest. Spoilers abound; you've been warned. Also, not looking for a debate. I won't be debating. If you like Seyka and the romance, that's your business. I'm not here to change you mind. I'm just here to express my opinion.

Before anything else, let's address one thing: my opinion on this pair has absolutely nothing to do with it be a lesbian couple, or fuck's sake, Seyka's race. Anyone who knows me or has been following me for a while knows that none of that offends me, and I embrace diversity in all forms. So, for anyone inclined to do so, don't come at me in the comments/reblogs/tags trying to paint me like a villain because of my opinion on the plot and the romance itself as a plot device. Everyone knows this is the website where if you say ANYTHING negative about the above, there are going to be people who decide you're a bad person when you're not, and I don't feel like dealing with that.

Getting into it, I'm sure you could gather from the paragraph above the cut that I am not a fan of the Aloy/Seyka pairing. Seyka has grown on me a bit more since playing through the DLC a second time, but man do I think she makes a terrible first impression (and by "first," I mean the first time playing through the entire main story). I hate how she jumps down Aloy's throat for "keeping secrets" when she does the same thing, and I hate even more that Aloy gives a shit about how upset Seyka gets hearing about Nemesis coming to destroy life on Earth. Like, bitch, she asked. Don't get upset with the person who told you the truth when you asked for it, and don't feel somehow guilty about revealing the info when that's what the person literally wanted! To be fair to Seyka, she says something similar when she said "At least you were honest" when Aloy apologizes (again, why???) for "dropping that on her." So, there's that, I guess.

In general, I just think the whole romance was weird and out of place. If I had to choose between Seyka and no romance, I'd choose no romance. Personally, I ship Aloy with Avad. I really like Avad, I think he's cute and a good person, and I'd be interested to see how they would make that relationship work. Barring Avad, I like her and Erend, or even Talanah (Talanah's crush on Amadis notwithstanding). At least with any of those three, or even just Avad or Erend, there's history there. Aloy knows Seyka for, like, two weeks tops in game (going based purely off how many day/night cycles went by while playing through this time, more like 5-7 days). It feels very much to me like a summer camp fling: something that's fun and new, and you really get along with this person, but then you have to go home and back to reality, and eventually you forget about each other and move on. I'd be okay with her joining the squad back at the Base, but only as a friend. I really don't feel like dealing with that weird tension in the next game.

Which brings up my next point on why this romance is not good, in my opinion: why did they introduce it so late? Now, I enjoy DLCs. If they seem worth it, I'll buy them, because I love new content and places to explore, but I am also of the opinion that devs/writers shouldn't put seemingly important characters or character development into extra, and clearly optional, content. If it wasn't in the base game, then it's not as important. Otherwise, it would have been included, again, imo. There are going to be people who won't play Burning Shores, and if Seyka makes an appearance in Horizon 3, a lot of people are going to be lost, confused, and reasonably annoyed. I've kind of shipped Aloy with Avad for two entire games at this point, but they're going to introduce an actual whole ass love interest for Aloy in a DLC that you can only play AFTER you've beaten the base game/main quest line? That just feels so forced and strange, and I don't understand why they would do that.

I can understand Aloy not having romantic feelings for anyone in the first game. She's on a mission to find out where she came from and why, stopping another end of the world with HADES, etc. And while the second game is similar, this is also Aloy's character growth journey. She learns how to make friends and rely on them. She learns that she doesn't need to take the fate of the world onto her shoulders, that she can share that burden with people she learns to trust. So introducing a love interest in Forbidden West feels reasonable--but not in a DLC at the end of the game. They should have introduced Seyka much earlier. Hell, I might have even accepted her introduction when meeting Alva at the Greenhouse or going to retrieve Alva and delve into Thebes! I would have been MUCH more receptive to Seyka/Aloy then! But after the whole story is over? Why? For what? What was their thought process???

I've already had an attachment to another character for Aloy to fall in love with, and went the entire second game thinking that maybe she and Avad could have something (because, at least the way I play/interpret it, they seem to have something, even if it's only a mutual respect--I mean, Avad clearly has a crush, but I play Aloy like she reciprocates, but is just too busy to think about it). All that only for some random person to show up and get shoehorned into the plot at the last second and go "hey, look at me! I'm hot and badass, AND a carbon copy of you, Aloy! I have all your physical abilities, the same temperament and outlook on life with only minor differences, and we both even have sisters! Isn't that awesome? Aren't I awesome? Now, act like a weird, stuttering mess as you develop this weird and out-of-character attachment to me after knowing me for a week."

I've run out of steam writing this now, but I think I got my point across. This crush of Aloy's just feels so out of place and out of character. It would have been much better had it not been so abrupt and fast. If she'd had the whole game, or at least a decent chunk of the MAIN game to develop it, I would be more receptive, but this? I just can't. I don't like it. ANY romance introduced THIS LATE and THIS QUICKLY is bad.

[zealctry]

so you wanna become Hidan's god? 9 easy steps to ensnare yourself a zealous follower.

1.  be divine.   self-explanatory. he will only worship the entity he deems (most) superior. holiness and goodness are not requirements. honestly, they’re rather optional ( as he will willingly stretch himself out and undergo an amazing assortment of mental gymnastics to thrust holiness upon you and justify all that you require of him! it’s fine. all good. he’ll make you holy. )

2.  be… impressively divine.   you’re divine? that’s cool, good for you and all. however, are you worth it?? are you the Most Special Divinity to Ever Divine on This Stupid Not-Divine Earth??? I mean, gods are like a salad bar nowadays, you can sort of pick and choose, and he’ll only choose The Rolls Royce of Gods. and he’s not as easily impressed as he looks or behaves ( he looks and behaves like a dumbass on most days; it’s funny, ok, he’s allowed to have fun, fuck you and your judgemental ass--!! ). however, he desperately needs a purpose. so that’s a nice basis to start working from (if you’re sly).

3. break him in.   no time to impress him or not the impressing you type? no problem! you can just break him in! in fact, this option is possibly the least time-consuming, and it’s exactly what happened to him in canon. he was so thoroughly impressed via various means of psychological and physical torture ( the worst of which must have been the sensory deprivation & being a witness to innumerable horrors ) that he quickly came to understand divinity when he next saw it! I mean, really, cult indoctrination is sooooo much easier when you have made the material more malleable to work with, after all.

4.  make use of him.   Hidan’s religion is the driving force behind most things in his life, down to waking up every morning; the purpose of religion is purpose itself andall of that. that being said, you better put him to good use. make demands of him; set him tasks and goals to properly serve your very divine self. he is not only insanely happy to accomplish all manners of things for you, but he needs to. ( seriously, he needs it. )

5.  let him worship you; make it as grueling as possible.   he needs to deserve your love and attention, after all. bonus points if he has to sacrifice parts of himself or suffer innumerable horrors from time to time.

6.  give him little treats & reminders that you are, in fact, divine.   he responds very well to positive reinforcement (preferably on a fixed schedule, but anything will do), but a constant reminder is best. such as gifting him with immortality. or any other weird ass supernatural thing, he’s not picky, as long as it clearly demonstrates your awesomesauce, godlike powers. it’s a constant reminder of your Very Divine Self (even if it’s not actually divine.)

7.  terrify him.   that’s it. simple and straightforward. do not, I repeat, do not, skip this step. it is crucial.

8.  don’t mind him bitching (but don’t always put up with his bitching).   by his very nature, he’s a brat. he’ll bitch. he’ll moan. probably never to your face (but you’re divine, so you have ears everywhere, right??). boss him around every now and then to remind him who’s on top, but let things slide from time to time. if he gets too out of line, up the ante on #7 (it means you did a piss poor job with it or he suffered head-trauma that muddled his memories a bit; so remind him).

9.  bless him by visiting him from time to time.   even if it’s via hallucinogenic drugs. or prophetic dreams. he’d totally buy into either and will go a little bit fanatically insane for a few days in the aftermath. that’s cute, right??

aaaand that’s it. he’s somewhat of a troublesome brat, but once you break him in properly, you’ll find him a most devoted follower, willing to stretch himself on your behalf to an inhuman degree. in fact, he will become quite demented just for you. isn’t that a lovely thought? xoxo

[millionth-attempt]

"Always your sword, my umbral sovereign; in life, in death, in anything beyond life or death that they want to throw at thee and me. I died knowing you’d hate me for dying; but Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I’d had your full attention."

So xd

SO.... How do I even start? How can I begin to comprehend, and even more so, find the words that capture my thoughts (insane) and my feelings (ahdkshfakdham) about this damn book? What, and please bare with me and the madness, WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS BOOK?

How is it possible that we have it, how is it possible that someone out there has a brain that is able to build... well, this.

When I first read Gideon the Ninth, all I had was disconnected (yet overwhelming) impressions floating around in my brain (like constantly, like I couldn't stop going back to them, in form of fanart and fanfics, because yes, I was a huge ass coward and I didn't dare -didn't want- to read Harrow the Ninth. Like her, I could not grasp, I could not stand hearing about a world without Gideon, much less like it). I was told by random tumblr users to have faith, that Harrow the Ninth was worth it and nothing I could ever imagine. I didn't want to trust them, I was so scared of being disappointed (heartbroken). I started the stupid book, though. I started because I wanted to know but also because I don't respect my feelings, not even a little bit. And then my chaotic impressions of Gideon the Ninth turned into madness after a second PERSON SINGULAR NARRATION, BITCH.

But then nothing happened.

So I went insane. I didn't understand. I couldn't process what was going on.

So I read fanfics with the constant fear of coming across spoilers. And then I actually spoiled myself on tumblr with some random post with a quote I now don't remember, but a quote that clearly implied Gideon was coming back.

So I did the only logical thing I could. Knowing I was stuck with Harrow the Ninth and yet still obsessed with them, I re-read Gideon the Ninth. And I finally understood. My incoherent thoughts about Gideon the Ninth had been completely accurate and I re-lived them all, but now I also had a complete picture of what was going on. Not just Gideon and Harrow, not just some random characters and names, not just a vague notion of what had happened, not just the heartbreak. I understood in a way that wasn't just emotional, that wasn't just falling in love and being wrecked by what happened. I also understood the succession of events, I understood how brilliant the plot was, the implications of such a crazy-ass necromantic-fantasy world. I had missed so much being too distracted by Gideon's brilliant mind and Harrow's earnest heart. (I had missed so much by being horny and desperate for them.)

And with a bit of a more rational understanding, I felt I was more cognitively prepared to face Harrow the Ninth again. And shit, I was. But it's wrecked me again.

Harrow the Ninth is the kind of book that feels right on every level, the kind of book that is so carefully and conscientiously built that it reached the status of ultimate perfection. The status of being destined to exist, of wouldn't make sense if it was different. Harrow the Ninth provides with an understanding and a development of who Harrow is that blows my mind and will continue to blow my mind until I'm dead. BUT, and let me state this very slowly and clearly, it does the same thing for Gideon. Gideon the Ninth compared to this book is such an introduction. I never imagined I could like Harrow the Ninth better, I never imagined that there could be a book that made me love Gideon more than Gideon the Ninth. I was so utterly and profoundly wrong I'm embarrased. Because how could I miss that as much as I love Gideon, no one, not a soul, can love Gideon more than Harrow. And this fucking book is just that. Harrow loving and grieving for Gideon to levels that I can't explain, that literally make my neurons snap and go crazy with obsession, with nausea, with the suicidal need to be swallowed by this book like the stoma swallowed Augustine xd

I know I will burn everything and then myself if they don't have a happy ending and I will continue to be wrecked by this insanity with the upmost delight. GIVE THEM A HAPPY ENDING, TASMYN, I BEG YOU ON MY KNEES

BUT CAN SOMEONE PLEASE, PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHO THE HELL IS NONA THE NINTH (not if it's a spoiler, only if I'm dumb and I missed the explanation)

[anaalnathrakhs]

hell yeah I want to hear about that mlp oc go off

anger, fearful, hot beverage, maple leaf, see-no-evil, milky way

Thank you sm for asking!!

Putting that whole thing under a readmore once again because I fear I may get a teeny tinsy bit carried away when I talk about my boy

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

Uhhhh generally being kind of an ass? Which I feel is the answer to every question about him, but let's get a bit more specific maybe. Unbothered only child behavior means he's very protective of his stuff and he reaaaally doesn't like it being moved around or touched by other people, even if that other person is literally his wife who lives with him. He slams doors by habit even when he's not particularly mad, he won't make any effort having an agreeable facial expression (that's worth even after he moves on to a happier life, he has a massive case of resting bitch face), stuff like that.

😨 FEARFUL - when scared, do they go into “flight” or “fight”?

FIGHT no questions asked. He becomes a mercenary later on, and I guarantee that's because he could do the job. He may not always have the muscle to back it up, but being angry is his LIFEBLOOD and he WILL get agressive. He flees exactly once in his life, and that's only because fighting himself from the inside is a little more complicated. Every other time he WILL try make the world ploy to his presence (and probably fail, but he's nothing if not an unmovable object)

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE - do they prefer hot or cold drinks? what is their favourite drink?

Being the medieval-ish setting that it is, and Earth not being part of the upper crust, there's not a lot of variety to choose from unfortunately. But his wife's whole deal being transporting merchandise, he does have access to stuff sometimes. Big fan of hot beverages, anything above near-boiling water is good for him. They do have a bit of cultural importance around harvests in the setting I think, so certain fruit juices aren't uncommon, but he's not that into it. He probably just like the sensory experience of a hot cup of something more than the taste of whatever's inside honestly.

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

Another one I don't think I've ever thought about! I think he'd like spring better? Living in earth pony land basically, farming is a big part of the local life and landscape, so winter is probably horribly depressing to him, even worse than the rest of the time. Summer would be too disagreeable to him for wheather reasons. Autumn is basically winter already and he's not a very uh, aesthetically versed person, he doesn't give a fuck if it looks pretty or not. He wouldn't care if flowers bloom in spring, but whether he admits it or not the greenery coming back would help him emotionally, and the rhythm of life speeding up around the sowing and preparations and all would be beneficial to him even if he'd also hate it. He doesn't usually like stuff that is objectively good for him.

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don’t want to show other people?

That's pretty difficult to answer because Earth is already not clear on who he is enough to have sides, let alone a side he shows to himself, let alone any control over what he shows to other people. He acts like an asshole by convenience and habit, and he doesn't ever try to turn it around. If he did a bit of introspection... got some will to live and purpose back in his dumb thick skull... he probably wouldn't want to show any of it to anyone ever. He's scared of changing and becoming someone he wasn't before. His wife would definitely remark upon it, with all her usual delicacy (precisely none), and he would explode on the spot I think. Just shrivel up and die. Or realistically, he'd have a complete anger meltdown. He doesn't want anyone to see that he ever was wrong, so he just appears as if he 100% believes in what he's doing, and besides the possible introspection he could have where he realizes that maybe he's kind of an asshole, in his regular life he's not angry and snappy and rude all the time, he's also pretty sad and jaded, but he keeps up the facade of agressivity so he doesn't have to interact more than he strictly has to. And over time he bricks himself more and more into that temperament, until it's impossible for him to be anything else because he has effectively been an asshole to everyone around him for his entire life. They'd see his lack of passion as a vulnerable spot, and he couldn't handle any of the reactions, even though the townspeople aren't out for his blood or anything, just kinda fed up with the local jerkass.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Technically speaking, Iron Man. My beloved Earth Science started out as a vague pony copy of whatever my little 10yo mind that had never seen any marvel thing ever had decided Tony Stark was like, and he was in a different setting, more like show-era Equestria with a whole different cast of OCs in my head, just for fun. Then I joined that forum and repurposed him as my player character for totally cis reasons, and he was progressively rebuilt to fit the setting and definitely not because i was projecting anything onto him until he gained a whole character arc of his own and some meat n potatoes of context around his daily existence.

So technically the very first thing was his main character trait of being abrasive and assholish, which is why it comes up so often, as he was built around that. The design must've been pretty early too, because he is the one most basic mlp oc I've ever seen. He's default red, default dark blue, almost default green, and default haircut. I really should add some stuff to him to make him a little more unique and "lived in", but I've never gotten around to it.

[kiillerqueen]

❝ I strongly believe that women were put on this earth for the demise of men. ❞ Diego is sure that he sounds like a fool for saying such a thing , but he had watched many men be destroyed or even killed at the hands of a woman. Diego himself wasn't going to be one of those men , even if he was currently smitten by Catalina. His wife on the other hand was just a pawn in getting what he had wanted , and that had been to get his hands on the empire that her father had made. There is no doubt that his wife's family had went out of their way to give him everything that his own parents weren't able to. It had been his father in law that had become the father figure in Diego's life , one that he had always desired to have when he was a young boy. Now he was basically willing to throw it back in the face of that man without a second thought. ❝ I appreciate that , it definitely helps take the small bit of guilt in my stomach about how wrong it is for me to be betraying the man that single handily raised me. I guess when you're stuck in this gig for as long as I have been the power hungry gets to you. Do I feel guilty for what I've done to Mariana , sure but then I remind myself that I've earned this position and I wasn't going to just let her old man over look me for it. Plus I am sure if she had married someone else they'd be the exact same as I am with her. ❞ His last part of his statement is more than likely true , yet it doesn't mean they'd be as cruel as Diego has been with her. His wife desired one thing from him and he has no plans on giving her it , knowing that he isn't going to change his mind.

It was nice to be able to have a conversation with someone that understood his thinking on the whole not wanting to have children. He wasn't doing it because he intentionally wanted to be cruel to his wife in that manner , but Diego knows that Mariana is never going to see it that way. ❝ I swear she thinks that I am doing it to be an ass , but really in the beginning it was because of those factors. So yeah maybe a bit now has to do with it because I've grown so tired of her bitching and moaning about it. I already know that if I even popped one in her by mistake she'd be looking for more , so it is just best I don't. ❞ It felt nice to be able to have someone to talk about what he is going through with his wife and not have any type of judgement or worry about it getting back to the femme or her father. Jamie had become the only man that Diego really had trust in to be faithful to him. ❝ Oh it may seem like it has gone by fast to you , but it couldn't have gone any slower for me. I swear to God she knows how to suck the fun out of being newly weds. ❞ Diego groans just thinking about how stressful his marriage had become so quickly , but knew that he needed to keep up the act of being a faithful and dedicated husband for the sake of making sure that he hadn't just wasted almost a full year of his life trying to get what he wanted from the older male. ❝ Either way right now I am not concerned about Mariana or her husband finding about the affair. ❞ Diego knew that himself and Cat had agreed to keep it between the two , but he didn't worry that Jamie would be breathing a word of the affair to anyone else. ❝ You may possibly be right about everything that you're saying , but trust me she is one hundred percent worth it. ❞

Continued || @thewcllingtons