#and would rather pretend that everything is fine instead

[peachdues]

Hii mind giving us a mini teaser for compass 3?

Oh okay, fine. You got me in a good mood /lh (anything for my babies!!)

I love you, Sanemi.

He’d done something curious; there’d pain in his eyes, enough that it had felt like a lightning bolt to the heart. You’d nearly thought that pain was born from a place of rejection; a hurt that you’d further crossed a line you’d already asked him to blur. That, despite the sheer possession embedded in every movement of his body and lips as he’d claimed you, he could not and would not return your feelings.

But, there’d been something else, too, in his eyes as he stared down at you, lips parted in shock. Something hungry; the kind that consumed, an inferno that could not help but engulf everything in its path.

He didn’t say it back, and you hadn’t expected he would. But he also didn’t outright reject you, either. Instead, he hugged you. Strange, how the most intimate part of the night hadn’t been the sex itself, or even the fact he’d came in you. It was right then, in the seconds after you’d let your confession slip from your tongue, when he’d snatched you up tightly into his arms, your bodies still connected. He’d still been buried inside you while he held you to him, his hand cradling the back of your head as though you were liable to break at any moment.

And then, he kissed you. Hard. Deep.

That had to mean something. Maybe it was gratitude or maybe it was his own way of expressing what he could not yet bring himself to say, whatever the reason why. But it meant something, and perhaps that something was the very reason he stayed the night, slept entangled with you, naked and vulnerable.

No matter how outlandish the rumors surrounding his bedroom habits had been, one thing always remained consistent: Sanemi Shinazugawa and intimacy were diametric opposites. He did not share a bed with anyone beyond the time it took for him to get his fix. In fact, you’d heard that he could be rather pushy when it came time for his partners to leave.

And since Sanemi wasn’t known for allowing his distractions to linger, he certainly hadn’t been rumored to be the type who enjoyed cuddling.

You, apparently, were the exception. Because he hadn’t just stayed the night; he’d kept you encased in his arms the entire time, even as you’d slobbered all over him in your sleep.

The memory of his fingers caressing the length of your back that next morning sends a shiver down your spine. at the time, you’d thought it better to pretend to remain asleep and oblivious to his gentleness; now, you can’t help but wonder what would have happened had you sleepily opened your eyes.

Maybe he would have kissed you; maybe you would have done more. Or maybe, you could’ve cornered him in the safety of your bed and demanded you at least talk about what the previous night meant.

Because it had to mean something, didn’t it?

meanwhile, pussy so good it has Sanemi out here opening secret trust accounts in her name 💀

[ingravinoveritas]

u know michael has spoken out against people bashing/speculating about his relationship and anna multiple times right? even blocking some “fans” for doing so

Hello, Anon. I'm guessing this is in response to this Anon, which I answered recently.

I'd first like to clarify one point, which is that I don't consider what I wrote to be "bashing" Michael's relationship. I've noticed that people seem to characterize any commentary that isn't enthusiastic, over-the-top praise as "bashing," which in turn leaves no room for nuanced conversation, which is what I was trying to do with that post, by responding to a question that I felt I could answer.

Second, there are only two instances I am aware of involving Michael speaking out about or blocking people for talking about his relationship with AL. One occurred four years ago and sounds as if he was under tremendous pressure/had no other choice. The other took place three years ago, and what I think often gets overlooked is that this was during lockdown, when Michael was already not in the best frame of mind. It was a time I seem to keep seeing folks on Twitter refer to as "feral Michael" (such as the incident where he had an interaction with a fan over the bees in his house), but that I think is more accurately described as "unhinged."

The distinction between the two is that "feral Michael" is the Michael who was on the GO press tour making cheeky comments about Aziraphale and Crowley and brazenly flirting with David and basically being the world's biggest Ineffable Husbands shipper. "Unhinged" Michael was the side of him we saw during the pandemic, and the very difficult time we were all having. He was clearly, visibly depressed and struggling (it was especially noticeable during the second season of Staged), and it was frustrating to see everyone ignore that, and seemingly still ignoring it three years later.

That being said, aside from the above mentioned incidents, I'm having a difficult time recalling Michael ever speaking about his relationship with Anna, let alone defending it. He's talked about her during paid interviews, where the interviewer prompts him to do so (such as in the PR pieces that were published in the Australian media ahead of him appearing in Amadeus a few months ago, and this interview promoting LTTC at the end of 2021), but he has not and does not bring her up unprompted. (Again, in sharp contrast to how he constantly brings up David in multiple interviews without the interviewer even saying a word.)

There were also multiple opportunities for Michael to talk about AL publicly on social media over the past few years, and yet he's seemingly chosen not to do that. He didn't promote LTTC with her (and in fact if you look at their tweets promoting the film side-by-side, there is a stark difference). He didn't mention her or their appearance together in that one episode of Sandman, and he didn't at all promote Staged 3, which was released with almost no advanced notice in November of last year and has barely been talked about since.

I have to admit something, Anon: I am disappointed. You could have come in here and said you disagreed with me, and that would've been absolutely fine. I'm always open to hearing other opinions and people who don't agree with me, and we could have had a discussion and shared opinions in a constructive way. But when you come in here without any receipts and make comments that sound a lot like barely veiled threats, I know that your aim is to intimidate and shut me down, because you want me to stop talking.

I believe that Michael is welcome to cultivate his online space, and so are we all. My intention is to keep a respectful dialogue going because I don't believe shutting people down is the answer. I'd love for you to be a part of that, Anon...but if you don't happen to like what I am writing, it costs nothing at all just to block me and move on.

[jayniks]

Brought The Heat Back (s.jy)

Where you annoy your boyfriend Jake while he's on live.

WC . 0,8k

PAIRING . Idol!jake x girlfriend!reader

WARNINGS . SMUT (MDNI), blowjob (m reciving), tease, public sex if you think about it, handjob, blowjob, a bit of boobjob at the end.

MASTERLIST . enha

"'Jake, is it hot in there?' Actually, yes, a little," Jake stammered, licking his lips as he ran his hand through his hair, small strands of which were sticking to his forehead from the sweat. The live had started, how long ago? Half an hour? Probably more. Of course, it was summer in Korea, it would be reasonable to think that was the reason why he was sweating. However, that wasn't the reason, and Jake was trying to hide it as much as he could but he wasn't God's strongest warrior.

It all started as an innocent movie night where he brought his beloved girlfriend to his room (let's celebrate that now he doesn't have to share one!) to watch some movies before doing a live for Engene. At one point he left to look for the food he had left reheating and, when he returned to the room, he noticed that you were not in bed, but rather next to the desk. He chuckled before sitting down and turning on live to interact with his fandom while he ate. He thought you were going to eat next to him (without the camera seeing you) while he did his daily duties. Little did he know that you would end up eating just not what he thought.

After about 15 minutes interacting with his fandom you decided that you were bored, so you took advantage of a moment where he turned around to sneak unnoticed under the desk. Jake didn't panic until that moment, he was more worried that you had been noticed than what you were doing. He smiled as he read the comments, one caught his curiosity so he decided to read it, "'Jake, what's the best thing about having a room for──." He interrupted himself, dropping his smile as he felt your hands run from his knees, across his thighs, until you reached his waist, where you played with his belt without undoing it yet.

He swallowed dryly as he looked scared at the camera, realizing what he had gotten himself into. He tried to cover it up by saying that 'he had seen a spider', they were going to believe it anyway. Well, let's continue where we were. Jake continued to pretend that everything was fine while you unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants. He lowered his hand, pretending to drop some chopsticks to try to push you away, gently hitting you on the head as if he was saying 'stop, don't do it' while smiling awkwardly at the camera.

After reading some comments that were already noticing his strange behavior, he put his hands on the table again to start his 'date time with your idol' or something like that, I don't know, sometimes he gives his lives strange names... But continuing with Jake, he only managed to carry a few bites of food when he began to cough heavily to hide the moan he had repressed in his throat after you sucked on his tip. As Jake struggles to maintain his composure, your attitude becomes more daring and you move your hands further up his thighs, massaging until you reach his pelvis, and moved down so you folded his sack while gobbling down what you could of your boyfriend's member.

He scans the comments section, takes a sip of water to compose himself before speaking, "we've been trying to learn the choreography in a different way, Niki learned it immediately and wanted to leave earlier," he broke off with a laugh, "but the manager wouldn't let him leave, so-". This time he interrupted himself as he felt the warmth of your throat enveloping him. You looked at him with eyes full of mischief, hoping that he would pay attention to you.

"Oh, Jakey, you're so sweaty today! Shouldn't you cool off instead of making us hotter?" Jake read the comment, trying to maintain his composure. He lets out a nervous laugh and runs a hand through his hair. "Haha, well, you know, it's... really hot in here," he licked his lips as he leaned back in the chair a little, spreading his legs a little to give you more access. In a breathy voice he spoke momentarily "yeah, very hot, very warm...", at the end of the sentence he coughed to keep from letting out the grunts trapped in his throat. You take advantage of his momentary distraction, bobbing your head rhythmically, causing him to bite his lower lip to suppress a moan.

Moving on in the live (as well as your actions) Jake was no longer on earth. All that was going through his mind were the same words all the time, "Jake, don't cum during live." He had hidden it quite well, after all even the members had believed it. Oh, didn't I say that? The members had joined freely through the new weverse option, let's see how long Jake can last when you decided to change the position and slid his cock between your breasts.

[prettyboykatsuki]

YOU’VE GOT THE CURE (EVERYTHING I NEED) | B. KATSUKI. 

✮ tags ; gn + afab!reader, soft dom!reader, sub!bakaugou, developing relationships, mutual pining and ambiguous relationships, anal play (m!recieving), dry orgasms, p in v, unprotected sex, 18+

✮ wc ; 6.7k

✮ a/n ; an anon comission from a beloved mutual im posting. also just dropping in to say hello

✮ synopsis ; katsuki is too fucking young to have erectile dysfunction, damn it.

“Hey.” 

“Hm?” 

The sound of your typing is especially loud in the empty office. It’s a Saturday and neither of you are supposed to be clocked in, but when duty calls - it’s up to the two of you to answer. 

“...I’m going to tell you something. If you so much as fucking laugh I will kill you.”

You don’t look up from your screen.

“Well that’s one way to start a sentence. I’ll try not to laugh.”

Katsuki slams his hand on the desk. 

“I’m being serious,” He says in a half-yell. You look up from the edge of your laptop unflinchingly with a displeased frown, shaking your head and throwing your hand up half-heartedly. 

“Fine, fine - I promise I won’t laugh. Can you stop being all ominous? You sound like Tokoyami.” 

“There’s something wrong with me,” 

“Well yes,” 

“Not like that,” He hisses, taking a deep breath. He leans forward with his elbows on the table, hands clasped seriously as he covers his face. “...I think my fucking..thing..is broken.” 

There’s a loud noise like a muffled laugh but when Katsuki looks up your expression is completely blank. Your lips are pressed tight, eyes out of focus as you continue to type. Or pretend to. True to your word, you don’t laugh but Katsuki still wants to fucking kill you. 

“Oh? What uhm,” You clear your throat, lips trembling as you try to keep yourself together. “What brought you to that conclusion?” 

He nearly snaps his pen in half. 

“What do you fucking think?!” 

“Hey. Calm down. I’m doing my best not to laugh but you are not helping.” 

This is the sort of thing Katsuki would normally take to his grave. Not only is it genuinely humiliating, it is the sort of painful personal detail he wouldn’t share with anyone even if he was fucking them. It wouldn’t matter either, that his dick isn’t working - if the other ways he relieved stress were.

He’s got an average sex drive, sometimes lower but a high libido. Getting off is a physical response to a bodily need. Like eating food or taking a nap. It’s just because it’s a physical need, it is noticeable when the need doesn’t get met. He is painfully aware of it. It’s been weeks and he thinks he’s starting to lose his mind. Worse? He’s exhausted every human option trying to fix the problem himself, save for going to the dick doctor. His testosterone levels are fine, he gets check-ups more regularly than the average person. Given his reputation is at stake, he’d rather not get prescribed anything. He’s bought ginseng and shitty vitamins and medicine he had to ship from overseas. Anything and everything. 

Picking up viagra at the ripe age of twenty four would give him psychic damage he won’t recover from, this much Katsuki is sure of. So not that. But everything else, every natural remedy conceived - he’s tried. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose and willfully ignoring the sound of your strained huffing “I can’t fucking get….it up and I don’t know why. I’ve tried everything. Everything. I’m going crazy,” 

“You know, it really says something about our relationship that you can confide to me about these kinds of problems. Like I’m so proud of us,” 

“Shut up. I’m already miserable enough without wanting to fucking tell you - but the only other option is Shitty Hair and Izuku. I refuse to buy a single goddamn pill for it, and I know if I go to a doctor they’re gonna recommend it and—” He can’t finish the thought. It’s a little too sincere for the kind of conversation you’re having. 

You’re a tactless person, so of course - you don’t bother with going along with the mood. Instead you smile like the evil bastard you are. 

“And…?” 

“You little—” He sighs rubbing his palms over his hands “And because I can trust you to be the least horrible option.” 

“So you acknowledge my valiant efforts as your underling and assistant and know you’d be nowhere without me?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Aw, you’re sweet,” You say, promptly ignoring him “But yeah, I mean - no judgement. I would ask if you’ve had anything major happen but I unfortunately already know that’s not really the case.”

Yes. You, of all people, would know that no major changes have happened in Katsuki’s external life that would make it hard for his dick to function. You spend so much time together. Minus the time he spends working and catching villains in the world - you’re practically glued to his side. You’re in charge of all of his affairs, his schedule, all other personal things. Katsuki is naturally neurotic, but you handle all of it with grace and care. You know everything about him, which is why he is asking you about this problem. 

(Does it border on unprofessional? Of course it does. But your relationship to each other degraded that border a long time ago. You’ve already slept in his bed and met all of his friends. And kissed him, but that’s irrelevant for now) 

“I need solutions,” Katsuki offers, totally and utterly defeated by the situation at hand. “I’ve done everything. Taken every goddamn herb, done every meditation. Nothing is working. Nothing. I’m going to go fucking crazy.” 

“Do you think just sleeping with someone would help? I know you don’t want to ask any of your friends, but maybe an escort? We can do it discreetly.” 

“Fuck no. If it were that easy I would’ve done it.” 

You pause. Katsuki can see the focus on your face and doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. After an elongated period of silence, you perk up a little. You lock eyes with him and Katsuki briefly regrets bringing the whole conversation up in the first place. 

“Hate to ask,” You say, though there’s not enough embarrassment on your face to make anything of that statement. “But uh, have you tried getting off with other things. Like something that isn’t your dick.” 

He feels a flush creeping up his skin. “What the fuck are you talking about!”

“This is an important question,” You emphasize, an expression so alarmingly calm Katsuki doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. “Cause if the answer is no, then that’s basically the best solution.” 

“How the fuck is that the best solution? Are you insane?” 

“Don’t be such a prude, Mr. Dynamight. You’ve bottomed before. It’s not that different. Have you ever tried it on your own?” 

“I fucking hate you.” He replies, closing his eyes and frowning. “No I haven’t. Why the hell would I do something so embarrassing.” 

“I know you’re super anal retentive - no pun intended there actually, but can you relax a little? It’s a good solution if nothing else is working. Your dick might be broken but an orgasm is an orgasm.” 

“Remind me to never ask you for shit again,” 

“I’d love that. Just keep me on payroll. Anyway,” You go back to typing. “I think that should be your first move,”

“How the—are you seriously telling me I should go fuck myself to solve my problem?” 

You giggle. “Well it sounds bad when you put it like that. But I guess yeah. I can help pick out some sex toys, maybe, do a little research. If you don’t want to do it in your apartment, there might be a love hotel,” 

A blush creeps up against the back of his neck. He covers his face with his hands. 

“I’m begging you to shut the fuck up. There’s no,” Another wave of humiliation sets in “There’s no way this is how I’m going about this. Like. Fucking none.” 

“The only other option is the good old fashioned doctors appointment, then. Which we can squeeze in over telehealth I think - since you got a check-up pretty recently. Want me to do that instead,” 

“Fuck, no. I just,” He groans, feeling the stress make his eye twitch “Fuck.” 

There’s a bit of silence and a little typing, like you’ve decided to leave him to his thoughts. Which he doesn’t blame you for, because all things fucking considered - there’s not really any more options. He’s a smart man and even he is fucking stumped. He’s going to have to give into something, eventually. He knows that, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. 

As soon as he gets close to giving up, you sit up straighter and give a deep long sigh. 

“Hey,” You scratch the side of your face awkwardly. “Do you want me to help you….?” 

He stares at you. “With what.” 

“With your dick being broken,” 

“What?!” 

“Don’t yell anymore, you’re giving me a headache,” You express, rubbing your temples. “Look. You need to get off, and you’re probably going to have to use your ass to do it. You don’t want to do it by yourself, and you don’t want to do it with a friend or escort. You’d prefer not going to the doctor's office or taking any pills. I’m offering - I’m not really your friend per se and you trust me enough to ask about it.” 

He hates more than anything that you have a point. 

“You can’t be fucking serious right now.”

“Hey. If you want your dick to stay broken for a while until you figure it out, do you. I’m just saying. Offering solutions is what you pay me for,” 

He pulls back a little. 

“...Are you fine with that?” 

“Oh banging you? Is that what you’re worried about?” He winces at the direct and crass way you speak. “I like you plenty and you’ve got a pretty face. I’m down if you are,” 

“I can’t believe I’m considering this.” 

“Really? I totally can,” You snicker, and he really, really considers firing you. “It’s not the first time we’ve crossed boundaries with each other. Just consider it, okay? Before you actually blow a fuse.” 

He leans back in his chair and groans. 

“Fuck. Yeah, whatever.” 

__ 

It’s another week before Katsuki takes you up on your offer. 

Miraculous it took that long, given the amount he suffered stubbornly trying to fix the problem on his own. The lengths he went too are too embarrassing to even disclose or recount but it very quickly became clear that this was not an issue that was going to magically disappear - no matter how hard he tried. 

Against his better judgment and after a long, cold shower trying to talk himself out of reality - Katsuki sent you a one line text. 

Fine. Come Saturday. 

The only thing he could say without dying of complete fucking shame. He’s grateful that’s the time you decided to have some tact. 

(Not a lot, since the text back you sent was a peach emoji and a thumbs up. But whatever, he’ll take what he can get.) 

It’s Saturday now, and he’s clean. All of him. He’s clean, and just wearing his boxers - sitting on his couch. You’ll be here very soon, and he can’t believe he’s saying this, but he’s nervous. 

You did mention you were fine with it. He believes that because there’s been long standing tension between you two for god knows how long he’s not entirely blind too. You sleep at his place sometimes and spend all day with him, and then there was that one time you two kissed (very sober) during New Years. You don’t bring it up because you know he can’t deal with it. Yet he’s comforted by the fact you at least want it (because you’ve said so), and that you’re willing to do this despite the ambiguity in your relationship. 

He knows that is inevitably going to come up today. But he really wants to fucking cum. And if it’s with you, then it’s fine. If his head was a little clearer, he would probably reject this whole thing based on his own emotional disparity. God fucking knows he is not in any place to deal with any of that. His heart barely gets by in the office and now you were going to fuck him. 

Is he stupid? 

Usually no, but because there’s a soft dick and tight balls where his brain used to be, currently yes. Everything put together, it’s a recipe for disaster. He considers telling you to fuck off and forget all this happens. 

But then he thinks about the prospect of your hands and your voice and it’s enough to at least get his heart pumping, though his dick still refuses to cooperate.

More than anything, he does trust you. Shitty, smug little fucker you can be sometimes - there’s not a single person who goes out of their way for him. More than just your job, sometimes it feels like every little thing you do is for his sake. Everything you don’t ask of him, every secret you keep. You push him where he needs to go and encourage him to take risks in his career without imposing on him. 

He blushes again, laying on his couch. He was nervous before but it’s not any better. Maybe he’s not so much of a dumbass as he is a total fucking masochistic. Is the level of overthinking the shit Izuku goes through? No wonder he’s like that all the time. 

He almost jumps out of his skin when he hears the doorbell ring. 

He answers the door shirtless and finds you on the other side. You have a cardboard box and the most nonchalant expression he’s ever seen. Normally it would annoy him, but right now he’s kind of comforted by it. You look at him with a flat smile. 

“Hey sexy,” You say with no intonation. “Can I come in?” 

He gives you a look of disdain. “Don’t ever say that shit to me again. But come in,” 

You laugh quietly as he steps aside. You don’t have much with you other than the ominous box and your bag. 

“You look like you’ve showered,” You say, taking your shoes off and putting on the house slippers he keeps for you. You don’t even look at him as you go towards his bedroom upstairs. He follows you with mild (faux) annoyance.“What a shame.” 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“I wanted to get a little romantical and help you clean up but you’ve taken that from me. I’m a little hurt.” 

“You’re such a dumbass. As if I’d let you do that,” 

“Don’t be such a spoilsport. I’m gonna be playing in your ass today anyway.” 

“Not the same thing.” 

“Tomato, to-mah-to,” You say with a wave of your hands. When you finally get upstairs, you look over your shoulder. Katsuki gets the message quickly enough, helping you with the door. You give him a little smile and let yourself in, dropping the box on the edge of his king sized mattress. 

He stands in the doorway for a short while, glancing at you before coming in. You put your bag somewhere on the floor before getting back to the box you’ve brought over. He can guess what’s in it, but he stands with you to open it anyways.

Predictably,  the thing is full of sex toys. The first question he wants to ask is how much you spent on all of it, but he bites his tongue. 

You look at him and do a little jazz hands gesture. “Tah-dah.” 

He gives you a displeased look, but you’re well used to this sort of thing from him. There isn’t actually a whole lot in the box. The theatrics of you bring it upstairs were more likely just you fucking with him for the sake of the bit.  He frowns. Typical. 

You do have some new things in the box. A few expensive look gadgets, like a pair of quirk canceling handcuffs (decorated with leopard print fur) and something that looks like it goes around his neck. The sex toys that are in there are noticeably high quality. You definitely used his dime to pay for this. 

“Handcuffs? Seriously?” 

“You’re too much of a control freak and I like not having my hands blown to bits,” You say, shaking your head. “We should establish some ground rules and stuff now.” 

“Haah? The fuck are you gonna do that we need rules.”

“I’m not just gonna jump scare you with dominating you. But that is what I’m doing.  What we’re doing.” You give him a more serious look, that makes him feel more shy than he cares to admit.  “You get what I’m saying? You have to trust me a little, okay?” 

He makes a petulant face at you. “I already trust you dipshit,” 

“This and that are different,” You say, shaking your head. He refrains from disagreeing with you a second time. They’re really not, but he has no desire to explain that. “I’m gonna touch you and be a little strict. Are you okay with that?” 

“I don’t care.” 

“That’s not an answer,” 

He grits. “I want to cum. And I…trust you or whatever. I already agreed to this. If it’s pissing me off, I’ll just kick you offa me. Anyway, ‘s fine.” 

“If you kick me I’m suing you for battery. We can have a safeword. I’m not going to duct tape your mouth and I’m gonna talk you through most of it - but just incase.” You say. He pauses, taken aback by how… delicately you’re treating him. He doesn’t know if he should be pissed about it or not. “Any word is fine. We can use the stoplight system too if you want.”

“Stoplight?” 

“Red for stop, yellow for slow, green for go.” 

“That’s fine. Easy to remember.” 

“Okay,” You nod to yourself, tucking the promise to memory before looking at him more seriously. “Are you okay with intimacy?” 

He stares at you. 

“The fuck…?” 

“Kissing and hand-holding and all that other stuff.” 

“Is it necessary?” 

“Strictly speaking, no,” You look at him knowingly this time. He’s taken aback, but you’re always like this. You look through him, not at him. “Are you okay with it?” 

The implication is there. Do you want it? is the question that goes unasked. Too direct for his tastes. He feels heat spread through his body, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“Yeah…’m fine with it.” 

Your smile is more genuine this time around. He turns away from you a little. 

“Okay. That’s everything out of the way. I’m gonna cuff your arms,” You say. It all feels a little sudden. He figures you’d mean business, but still - he’s not all that prepared. He’s had a week to mentally prepared but that feels like nothing compared to now.  There’s an authority to the way you talk now he isn’t sure he’s going to get used too. “Repeat your safewords to me when you turn around.” 

He frowns but listens. He puts his hands together in front of him, waiting for you to cuff him, shyness making him hot. 

“Uh. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go.” 

“Good boy,” You say so smoothly it almost rolls off of him. The cuffs go around his wrists, and Katsuki can feel the familiar sensation of losing his quirk. Now it’s just the both of you. “I’m expecting a little pushback, but generally - you’re to listen to me. Clear?” 

“God, fuck - yeah clear,” Katsuki says, feeling ticklish all of a sudden. “All this shitty foreplay is making me feel weird.” 

You wrap your arm around his midriff in a sudden movement, making him twitch. He can feel your cheek pressed against his chest as your hands hover over his waistband. He takes in a sharp inhale. 

“It’s good that you’re feeling anything.” You say, breath just barely above a whisper. “Gonna take this off,” 

He just nods, silently. It’s still on soft, but something is happening in his gut at least. You help him take his boxers down. You’ve probably seen him naked before, more than once. You two being attached at the hip was no joke. This time there’s this lingering anticipation that’s there, and that changes things. 

He steps out of his boxers. He’s naked and you’re clothed and his head feels like it’s spinning. Your hand guides him to the edge of the bed. He sits and watches you, but you don’t undress. 

The first kiss (second kiss) that you exchange with Katsuki is pleasant. You bend down to do it. It’s a chaste way to meet his lips, weirdly soothing while his stomach is starting to tie in knots. It’s a little surprising how..comfortable it is. Your mouth is soft, your lips taste a little like chapstick and you smell nice. You pull away to kiss the corner of his mouth, trailing down his jaw. 

Your thumbs draw over the shell of his ear, rubbing the lobe tender. You’re so different. The contrast in your normal personality is a little too much for him to reconcile with easily, but you brush over these things well enough. He looks away when you meet his eyes. 

“Do you wanna lay down or kneel?” 

His throat is tight. “...Don’t care.” 

You laugh a little to yourself, another kiss. “Lay down then. It’d probably be easier if you put your ass up but knowing you, I doubt it.” 

He blushes, annoyed that he’s so obviously predictable to you. 

The sheets are soft where he lays. You don’t join him on the bed at first. He just waits there cuffed as you shuffle around for things - lubes and toys and pillows. When you do return to him, you pat his side and slide a pillow underneath his back. He quickly regrets laying down, because god the position is fucking exposing. 

You get between his legs and settle there comfortably. A hand rests on his bare thigh, rubbing your thumb into smooth, muscled skin. His breath is hitched. You lean down and kiss his hip. Still no dice on the erection, but you don’t seem discouraged. 

You flip the lube open and let it pour onto your fingertips. It’s pink lube. This is mildly irritating, but saying anything will feed into your satisfaction so Katsuki bites his tongue. He watches it as you warm it in your hands, patting his leg with your clean hand. 

“Legs up,” You instruct. “And deep breath. Try not to tense.” 

“Just goin’ for it, huh?”

You don’t reply to that, but you do smile. 

It’s not his first rodeo. His second or third, but certainly not his first - but he’s never had it done for a reason like this. There was an exchange prior, that someone was putting something in him for their pleasure too. This isn’t for that. This is just for him, with your skilled hands and your oddly gentle tendencies that he doesn’t see any other time. That proves to be too much, makes his belly feel honeyed with lust. 

The warm, thick sensation of lubed fingers presses against the tight rim of muscle. He breathes and unclenches. Tries not to think too hard about anything. He’s desperate, too desperate. At this point, it’s hard to be prideful. Your hands are noticeably daintier than the ones he’s had in him prior. It’s…weirdly nice. Makes the process easier somehow. He’s reminded that you’re just you, and that makes him more nervous. 

“That’s it, baby,”  You hum, so soft it’s startling. The way the blood starts to rush in that familiar way nearly makes him sick. Oh, fuck. No way. “Oh?” 

No way. No fucking way. No way that’s what does him in. 

You pause. He takes in a deep breath, ready to say anything to defend himself. Humiliation spreads through his whole body. He can feel how hard he’s starting to burn, like the blood in his body is struggling to keep up with the desire and pump of his heart. His chest and face start to flush a familiar rose as he grits his teeth and closes his eyes. 

Weeks. Weeks and weeks of trying to figure this out. And it was you calling him baby, of all things, to get him at half-mast. 

He’s too afraid to open his eyes, but forces himself too. He’s expecting a smug laugh or sarcastic jab but instead you just look surprised. You stare at him, unblinking. He’s so startled he stares back. 

“Do you wanna…keep going?” 

He gets hard. Fuck. 

“S-shit,” He says, wishing he could cover his face with his hands properly. “Yeah,” 

He can’t read your expression at all. Annoying. You don’t brush over it though - but you don’t force him to acknowledge it either. Maybe you’re just focused on the fact he finally has something to work with and don’t want to ruin it by making him talk about his feelings. 

“Baby,” You say again, smooth and deliberate. There’s that twitch again, something pooling in his gut. He starts to feel nervous. You’re doing the same as before, stretching him and teasing the rim - getting him ready for something else. “You like bein’ my baby, Katsuki?” 

He opens his mouth, only to close it again. He tries to choke some word about, telling you go fuck yourself - but he always ends up looking at your face. Your lashes on your cheek. Soft touches and even softer words. He stops knowing what he wants at some point.

“Ugh,” His voice grows thicker. “Don’t ask me that,” 

(If he were more apt at honesty, he could admit to you that he just wants you. In whatever way. Sometimes you get like this, when you’re not screwing around - and you’re so good to him that it hurts. He likes your sarcasm and dryness. 

But he likes too when you’re this sweet on him too - even if that feels shameful as fuck. That feels like it’s crossing so many more lines that you’re usual self. He knows that better than anyone. It is crossing more lines than usual. 

He can’t help but think about it anyway.)

You laugh a little. His eyes go lidded as you continue to work him open. It’s a slow process. You circle his hole with your thumb each time before pushing in. You get one finger in without effort. The second one takes a little more. Another heaved breath and unclenching of his muscles. 

He hasn’t felt the sensation of something entering him in so long. He can’t remember when the last time was. He’s antsy as you pump your fingers in and out, stretching him slowly. You find the bottle with your free hand, flicking it open with your teeth and pouring lube onto him directly before you keep going. 

“That feel okay?” You mumbles

“Y-yeah. Feels fine,” He huffs, closing his eyes “Feels…good,” 

“It’ll feel better soon. Just need to,” You curve the two fingers inside of him up. They search and search and search until—

There. Shit, there. 

“Oh, shit,” He gasps, arching himself up as you rub it. You smile at him, pleased. “Fuck,” 

You whistle. Katsuki can feel his cock throb properly now, up at full attention. You don’t touch him though. Your other hand grips his thigh for support as you focus your wrist and energy on curling your fingers against his prostate. His stomach flutters, waist tightening.

He’s been fucked before, damn it, but this is different. This is controlled and concentrated. Your fingers are perfect in their motion, pinpoint pleasure making him break out into a feverishness. You’re annoyingly good at this. His whole nervous system feels like it’s being unraveled so slowly. Pulled apart like the slices of a fruit, something for you to pick off and eat.

His head feels like it’s full of cotton, tongue too big for his mouth. Thoughts clouded and inhibition lowered. Real pleasure. He hasn’t felt that in what has to be more than a month now. It’s overwhelming. He’s sensitive and muddy and acting stupidly - he’s well aware. It’s an out of body experience being so unwound in general but this after everything is overstimulating. 

God it feels good. How can anything feel this fucking good? 

His breathing is erratic, heart pumping trying to keep up with it. Euphoric little pricks start at his abdomen and shoot off through his whole body. Like the splintering ends of a falling star. 

He’s never had any orgasm that feels like it needs every muscle in his body to pump through him. It starts in his center and spreads out, melts him slowly. Usually the feeling of needing to cum is passing - just building pleasure until the orgasm hits and the high relaxes. His cock is leaking now with every little press along his insides. Little white dribbles of pre-cum sliding down his shift all the way down to his ass. He doesn’t want to think about how he looks, so he focuses on how it feels. 

���Fuck, that feels so good,” His voice almost gives. “Shit, I’m gonna cum if you don’t slow down.”

“You can cum if you want to, Katsuki,” As if to drive the point home by massaging his inner thigh, neglecting his cock “Guess you’re pretty sensitive inside, hm? Gonna make you cum like a girl,” 

His blush deepens.. 

“Haah, fuck - fuck I’m not sensitive. It’s just, hng. Been a while,” 

“Don’t be a liar or I won’t let you cum,” You tease. 

His eyes shoot wide, brows touching his hairline.  “Fuck, d-don’t you dare. .” 

You have the nerve to laugh at him. All things considered, maybe you’ve earned. “Just teasing. I’m awful but not that awful. “ 

“You’re not awful, fuck - just really,” He throws his head back against the sheets. “Need to cum, really need to—” 

“Gonna cum without even touching your cock,” You say, half-amused. He shudders when the realization dawns on him.“You’re so sweet.” 

He’s drooling. The strength goes out in his jaw as the feeling just builds and builds and builds. It goes on like it’ll never topple. 

When it does, it doesn’t feel so much like a rope unsnapping as much as it feels like everything is being pulled from under him. Like the loss of gravity. His abdomen goes tight, the anticipation of it making it impossible to breathe. So close, so close, so close. His brain feels shut off, mindlessly humping along air to capitalize on everything. You’re encouraging only eggs him on further. He lets out a garbled little noise, choking. His voice rasps as electricity flows through him. 

And he cums, there’s an orgasm - but nothing comes out. He cums so hard but his balls still feel so tight and full. It feels good but he’s still so fucking hard. It snaps him awake as his eyes open, and you’re staring at his cock a little awestruck. 

“Oh, poor baby,” You say - not exactly mocking him but not exactly being kind either. Katsuki stares at you lost and hazy. “A dry orgasm after all of that. That’s just cruel. 

He heaves. “What the….how am I supposed to?” 

His dick aches. Fuck he almost wants to cry. 

Your hand wraps around the base of his shaft in a sudden movement, making him hiss. He almost cusses you out. Sensitive, too sensitive. You put your thumb over the tip of his cock, more pre-cum leaking from it as you. You look mesmerized as it dribbles against your thumb

A long pause. 

“Hey,” Your expression is  serious. “Do you wanna fuck me?” 

“What?” 

“I’m really turned on right now, shit. I was planning on just helping you but, you didn’t cum yet and I’m...,” You’re looking at him so directly. His heart pounds. “You can say no,” 

Of course he wants to fuck you. That’s what he wants to say. He doesn’t know where he’d find the fucking gall. 

“....’s sensitive,” He says instead, flushing with embarrassment. You brighten up. “Just… give me a minute,” 

“I will but first,” You rummage through your items and pull out a plug. His eyes widen. “It’ll feel good, I promise.” 

He grumbles, but doesn’t reject you. You have some kind of miracle in you - so he feels more inclined to just give in to whatever you say. You look eager to do it. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. 

It’s easy enough to put the plug in when he’s already all soft. He’s still sensitive and swollen. He hisses as the cool metal of the plug slides into softened hole, before settling. You give him a little tap on his which he glares at you for. Your only response is laughter. 

There’s nothing to talk about while Katsuki watches you undress. You don’t take it all off - just your bottoms. It’s not that he has nothing on his mind. Just that… seeing you like that isn’t making him any less hard. He just… looks at you. Dumbly. You slide your shorts off in one go and your underwear along with it, and you’re all on display. 

It’s pretty. Your pussy is really pretty. A horrifyingly embarrassing thing for him to think but it’s true. There’s a fine layer of hair on your mound that he likes. You’re dripping wet like you said you were, and that doesn’t make the situation any easier. You give him a little smug grin as you settle over his lap. He stares at you completely absent-minded, flushed. 

“Like what you see?” You tease. He’s too struck to lie to you. 

“Yeah,” He rasps. He’s out of his mind right now. He blames it on his dick. “I wish I could take these fuckin’ cuffs off.” 

You look at him a little surprised. “You don’t like being cuffed and restrained?” 

His ears feel hot, heat prickling up his skin. “Didn’t say that just,” He groans even trying to say it. “...Wanna touch you,” 

He trails off. You use your hand to turn his face back to you, cupping his jaw as you bend forward to kiss him. He stares at you wide-eyed, making a noise of surprise. This kiss is different from all the others. Deeper, with more feeling. He gets into it, lifting his head to kiss you back. 

When you pull away, you’re all fluttered lashes and adoration. 

“After I drain your dick dry,” You say with a confidence that astounds him. “I’ll take them off and let you fuck me proper. But you have to tell me you want that, first. Do you wanna fuck me, baby?” 

“Shit. Y-yeah,” He nods, feeling absolutely swept up in your pace. 

“Say it.” 

“I wanna fuck you, dammit,” He stutters through the last of his sentence. “Don’t make me beg, my dick is going to blow off if you keep torturing me.” 

You laugh good naturedly and he feels a little proud that he made you laugh. The thought that he’s beyond whipped wipes the smile off his face completely, but whatever. 

You pull back, sitting up as you examine his cock. You hold it up to you, weighing your options. 

“I’m too horny to open myself up. I’m just gonna sit on it, ‘kay? Don’t buck your hips up,” 

He opens his mouth to protest, but the words die in his mouth. The warm, wet heat of your cunt is immediately overstimulating. He groans so gutterally it startles him. Like it’s punched out of him. This is the only pressure his hard cock has gotten in months and it’s making him feel like he’s on fire. 

You don’t give him a chance to cover. You lean over him as you maneuver his cock to your entrance with all disregard for his sanity. You hiss as the tip finds the spot. Fuck you’re wet. Your insides are so soft, so sticky - but you’re still so damn tight. 

As you promised you go slowly. It doesn’t help him losing his mind. Worsened by the fact he can see you on top of him, all bated breaths and shaky moans. There must be a dull pain, but you only give him a smile as you get the first inch. 

“You’re big,” You say breathlessly. His cock twitches to life. “Feels fucking good. Shit, that’s amazing. Haha, I can feel you so deep already.” 

“Please stop talking, before I, haah,” 

“Don’t cum yet,” You demand, lowering yourself further and further until you’ve bottomed out. Katsuki feels fucking crazy. “Let me get my fill first.” 

“Ngh, easier said than fucking done,” 

You just laugh. “Try your hardest, Mr. Hero. Show off your endurance, hm?” 

He groans as you start to move. You really don’t regard him at all. You lean over him with one hand and use your other to tease and toy with your clit as you ride his cock with reckless abandon. The room is quick to fill with noise - the sound of skin slapping skin, the skin sticking where your hips meet his thighs. 

 You’re moaning in little broken waves. He’s not going to last if he listens to you anymore. 

He’s biting the inside of his cheek trying not to cum, but you don’t make it easy. You’re riding him with so much force, using him. Your pussy is so tight it’s gripping him, sucking him dry. A vice-like grip, sticky and pliant over the hard curve of his cock. Everytime you bounce and throw your ass a little harder onto him, he can feel you. Feel himself and  how deep he is. His hands tighten into fists where they’re cuffed in front of him. 

He’s never been… used like this. But he doesn’t hate it the way you disregard him to chase your own pleasure while being so generally mindful of his own. You take and take and take but you make it feel so good. 

It’s not helped by the plug in his ass, brushing against his prostate every single time you move. Makes him jolt. Every fiber and nerve in his body is wound as tight as it can possibly go. All of his strength, sanity, and focus he has left in him is trying not to cum, not to buck his hips up and rut into you like a stupid animal no matter how much he wants too. 

He can feel you start to cum before you even tell him. Your walls pulse with need and your movement starts to get slower. The grip you have holding you up weakens slightly. 

“Gonna cum. Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum,” You say with a pant. You open your eyes and look down on him “Cum with me, okay? Don’t hold it in,” 

The words alone trigger a reaction. But with everything else, it’s like Katsuki explodes. Weeks worth of tension in his body, in his muscles, in his everything  - burst at the seams. You cum and he follows you nearly in succession. The hard pulsing of your swollen cunt suck around him like a vice and he goes practically limp feeling his dick finally drain. 

He cums and he can’t stop cumming. Pumps out so much white hot seed his head starts to cloud. He fucks up into you, sloppy and dumb. Chasing his high as he pours every ounce of his load into your pussy without so much as a modicum of shame. A month of dryness overwritten by the most intense orgasm he’s ever had in his fucking life. He doesn't know how long he stays there, painting your walls with his spend. It just goes on forever, longer than he’s ever experienced. 

He has his eyes closed as he goes limp. Fucking hell. 

It takes him a while to go soft again. When he finally does and returns to consciousness, he’s still nestled inside you. You give him a smile when his eyes finally open, leaning forward to kiss his hairline. 

“Still all there?” 

His voice is hoarse like he’s been screaming. “I feel like I fucking died,” 

You giggle. 

“So… no?” 

“Kind of. Barely. What the fuck is up with you.” He says laying his head back, sweat dripping down his back. “Shit.” 

“Did you like it?” 

He gives you an unimpressed look as you laugh. 

“I’m glad.” You say softly. You’re warm. God he’s down bad. “We have a lot to talk about later. You should take a little break for now.” 

He nods in agreement to both things before pausing. “For now..?” 

“You thought we were done?” You say with a tilted head. He gapes. “I thought you knew I was more ruthless than that.” 

He groans. 

“You’re insane.” 

You chuckle, leaning down to kiss him. 

“You love me.” 

He lets you kiss him some more and doesn’t bother denying it. 

[santaasi]

raison d'être

pairing: james potter x shy!reader

summary: james potter never thought that the most terrible day of his life could give him a new reason for existing

warnings: muggle au, fluff, no use of y/n, english isn’t my first language

word count: 2.3k

a/n: i’m alive!! but i feel like with all my uni and graduating stuff i just lost inspiration. but i promise that very soon there will be more fics! love u all. have a good time readings my new work <з

JAMES POTTER HAS NEVER BEEN A LOSER. On the contrary, his life has always been like an endless lottery win. Ideal and loving parents, who provided him with everything he needed and supported him at every step. Friends who were always there for him even in the worst. A perfect career in sports that was only going uphill every day and promised to take James to new heights. James Potter was a golden boy who always seemed to be surrounded by a halo of luck. In all his twenties, he didn't know what failure and lose were. Troubles avoided him and it was something familiar to him. That's why when everything went wrong on one of the most important days of his life, James was taken aback.

It was one of hundreds of other summer days when the weather in London was pleasing with its sunshine and warmth. And that was the day James Potter overslept for the first time in his life. And it would be fine if he was late for training or a regular meeting about plans for the week, but… James Potter overslept and was late for a meeting with their future sponsors, who would decide the fate of the team and its entry into a more perspective professional league.

But apparently this was not enough for fate (if it ever existed). The fate decided to mock James more by taking all his luck and replacing it with failure. Because as soon as he left the house and got into the car, it didn't start, although last night, when he returned from another get-together with Sirius and Remus at the bar, everything with his car was fine. He had to ride in a completely packed bus, breathing in sweat fumes and feeling someone's elbow dig into his lower ribs. By the time he got to the bus stop, the air in his lungs was starting to run out. And besides all that, James had to walk the long way to the sport base to protect his ass and buy coffee for everyone at the meeting, to pretend that this was what he had planned from the very beginning. It was Sirius's plan, which, to James' great surprise, sounded really good for the first time in what seemed like forever. But instead of going to the usual café on another street, James ran into a new coffee shop, which was right next to the sports base, which decently helped to shorten his time.

A bell rang over James's head as he entered a softly lit, bright space with a couple of tables and guests who were sitting here, working and drinking pleasantly smelling coffee. For a very recently opened place, the coffee shop probably really had a lot of popularity in the area. James covered the distance from the door to the cash desk in a couple of steps and opened a dialogue with Sirius, quickly rattling his order to the barista, whom he did not even deign to look up at.

"’m sorry, could you repeat the order more slowly? This is my first day and..." you whispered softly, biting your lip uncertainly, and James looked up. His gaze is full of anger, which made you swallow a lump in your throat.

You've never been good with people. Large crowds scared you, and even with your close friends you preferred to message rather than call. But when life shook you up and the deadlines for paying for college were already burning, you had to get over your fear and be interviewed at a new coffee shop near your house, where an employee was urgently needed. A week ago, you were over the moon when you were accepted. The job didn't seem difficult and learning the basics of barista work was even interesting, and most importantly, the customers were all friendly. And you even have a hope that working with people won't be so bad. But as soon as you were faced with James Potter's eyes full of irritation, all hope for something good immediately disappeared, replaced by fear and nervousness.

"Or... or I can call another more... experienced specialist..." you began softly, stumbling through the words.

When James Potter entered the café, he was really annoyed because of the plans that didn't go the way he wanted. But as soon as his gaze meet your frightened doe eyes, his face immediately softened and all the emotions that he had experienced before faded into nothing but pure adoration.

You were beautiful. No. You were lovely. You looked like a small frightened deer that has met a hunter in the forest. Innocent. Sweet. Elegant. James Potter didn't know that there were perfect people in this world, but looking at you, he was convinced of it. His world seemed to stop for a second, concentrating only on you and on awkward lowering of your stunning eyes and how you bit your lip and how your thin fingers was nervously fidgeting with the bottom of your apron.

You cleared your throat and said something. James didn't hear it. He was consumed by you. He wanted to get to know you. Beautiful pictures were already playing in James's head, like movie stills of how he would ask you for your phone number and how you would smile and hand him a crumpled tissue, which he would, of course, keep all day as the apple of his eye. He has already imagined your date. How he takes you to one of those silent film festivals that were taking place in London right now. How you will chat for days on end without thinking about anything. How at the end of the evening he will take you home and slightly bending down, the distance between you will be reduced, and then…

As soon as you turned around to leave, James immediately fell out of his fantasies, quickly trying not to let you leave. He reached across the counter and grabbed your wrist, forcing you to pay attention to him again. But as soon as he realized how uncultivated he was by violating your boundaries, he immediately took his hand away, stuffing them into the pockets of his jeans, guiltily lowering his eyes to the floor. It was not typical for James Potter to blush, but he could feel the heat rising up his neck, scorching his cheeks.

"Um... sorry... I-I can repeat the order," James said nervously, and you noticing his change of mood and awkwardness relaxed a little, listening attentively to his order once again.

You quickly handed him the check and asked him to wait next to the pick-up counter, smiling sweetly, which made James's heart skip a beat. He nodded wordlessly and swallowed, still feeling the tingling in his hand where your fingers touched his skin.

Waiting for his order, James couldn't take his eyes off you. Everything in him screamed that he should come up and ask you out or ask for your number, as he had done hundreds of times.… But he couldn't... something was stopping him. And so when his name came off your lips (he didn't think that his own name uttered by someone could make him almost faint) and you handed him a bag with his order, all he could do was whisper a quiet "thank you" and leave the coffee shop without even turning around.

He spent the rest of the day as if in a dream. James was sitting in a meeting trying to concentrate on the important things, but all he could think about was your smile, which made his heart skip a beat. At practice, James was also distracted, as if hearing your sonorous but soft voice everywhere, the memory of which made his body goosebumps.

James Potter spent the whole day in a daze until a bell rang above him and the door closed behind him with a thud. The cafe was empty, the chairs were raised on the tables and the one who completely confused his thoughts stood with her back to him, quietly humming some remotely familiar song playing on the radio. You slowly swayed your hips, moving backwards, mopping the white tile floor until your back hit James's hard chest. You suddenly screamed loudly and turned around, covering your mouth with hand in shock. James ran a nervous hand through his hair and frowned slightly.

"Sorry, I thought you were still working, I came in... to buy something to drink," James quickly rattled on one exhale, meeting your gaze.

You blinked quickly a couple of times, trying to move away from the shock that you experienced from an unexpected meeting with a visitor. In him, you immediately recognized the guy James, whom you first dubbed the last jerk that came to ruin your first working morning, and then you noticed how cute and sweet he was when a blu sh appeared on his cheeks and immediately melted away.

"No, no, we are still working... there were just no visitors and I decided to start cleaning early… But you can order... it's okay," you assured him, giving James a soft smile before turning around and standing behind the counter, putting the mop aside.

James looked at the menu carefully, and then at you. There was silence in the coffee shop for a couple of seconds, and you felt your cheeks start to burn from the piercing gaze of his coffee eyes. You slowly lowered your gaze, trying to hide a silly smile.

"What do you recommend?" clearing his throat, James asked without taking his eyes off you. He wanted to stay in your company as long as possible and get to know you better. At least for a little bit. "What's your favorite drink?"

"Hmm... I'm not a big fan of coffee," you thought, looking over your shoulder at the menu. "That's why I would recommend herbal tea with raspberries and mint..." you nodded, concentrating on the guy standing in front of you again and smiling. "Well, it's also my first day and I'm not sure I can make you a good coffee... so tea would be the safest option," you joked, biting the inside of your cheek.

James laughed hoarsely, throwing his head back and you shyly lowered your head, hiding the blush that became even brighter on your cheeks. James was the epitome of what the perfect man looked like in your fantasies. Slightly curly hair, warm brown eyes that when he smiled seemed to be able to warm the whole world and round glasses that brightened his face and gave him even more charm. Such a handsome guy must have had an equally beautiful girlfriend. You thought, but quickly pushed these thoughts away from you. He was just a client, you shouldn't have worried about these issues.

"Then I'll have tea... yeah... I'll have tea with raspberries and mint," James said, calming down a little, adjusting the rim of his glasses on the bridge of his nose, which had slipped off.

You nodded and turned away, brewing James your favorite tea, making yourself one cup along the way. He was lost in thought again, watching you do your job carefully and with concentration. Your finger was slowly sprinkled with herbs, mixing them with mint leaves and dried raspberries, along the way he noticed how you brought the herbs to your nose, inhaling their fragrance and gently smiled to yourself. You looked more relaxed and peaceful than you did this morning when James scared you with his impetuous words.

"Herbal tea with raspberries and mint for James," you announced the order as if there was someone beside the two of you, and James smiled brightly at you.

His hand lingered on yours for a couple of seconds longer than necessary, and you felt your heart begin to beat faster in your chest. There was not enough air in your lungs, and it was only when James took the cup of tea from your hands that you were able to take a ragged breath that did not pass James by. The guy grinned, sipping a drink from his mug.

"Wow, this is really good! I like it," James said enthusiastically, looking right at you. His brown eyes seemed to look straight into your soul, and you swallowed nervously again, licking your lips, feeling how for a second his gaze dropped just below your eyes.

"Thank you..." James tilted his head slightly to the side, looking at you expectantly.

You said your full name softly, and James seemed to echo it, tasting it. You were quickly caught again, feeling your fluffy eyelashes tickle your cheeks. James shook and lowered his head, trying to hide his spreading grin. Apparently, he was not the only one in this cafe who was fascinated by his interlocutor.

"Well, thank you for the delicious tea. See you tomorrow, love," he winked at you before leaving the cafe.

The endearing name came out of James's mouth so easily that for a second you were taken aback, standing rooted to the spot behind the cash desk with your mouth open, like a fish jumping onto dry land. But at the last moment, a quick goodbye escaped your lips, more like the creak of a door, and the ringing of a bell announced James's departure.

Through the big window, you watched him walk slowly along the street lit by lanterns, smiling like a madman and slowly sipping his tea, and something jumped in your chest.

You put your hand to your chest, feeling your heart beating hard against your rib cage, and then wrapped both hands around your cheeks, which pleasantly cooled your heated skin. And the only thing you could think about, standing in an empty coffee shop, looking at the door through which James came out, was that the barista's job might not have been so bad. At least as long as James appears in front of you, it definitely won't be bad.

And in order to see him again tomorrow, maybe you'll switch shifts with Marlene.

But only 'maybe'.

thankx for reading <3

for the first time in month, I had so much fun writing these one shot. so I hope you enjoyed it too. you can always share your opinion in comments or my inbox :3

- your santi 🪐

[folkloreandfable]

Redamancy (J. V)《《《

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Targtower!Aunt!reader Warnings: None Tags: No dance AU, idiots in love, regency romance inspired Synopsis: Queen Alicent has arranged for her youngest daughter to find a suitable marriage partner, and Jace knows there is no better match than him. A/N: I wrote this drabble to get out of a writer's block. No beta as of yet.

Jacaerys Velaryon was in love with his aunt since their minority. It was no secret since he did a rather shoddy job of hiding his affections for the youngest, Lady Targaryen. They’ve exchanged missives over the years but have not seen each other since the incident in Driftmark. How he yearned to gaze upon her once more, see her smile, feel her warmth. For the past six years, he feared the possibility of her being swept away by another. Alicent Hightower would never wed her daughter to him if her saying no for Helaena was any indication. Though he was grateful for that rejection. He had several ideas, some involved asking his mother to petition King Viserys, who rarely refused her. Others involved stealing her away to Dragonstone in the dead of night himself. In her more recent letters, y/n mentioned that Alicent would be holding interviews for potential marriage candidates. At first it sent him into a panic until he realised the opportunity it presented.

»»———-　˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀　———-««

Marriage to a princess of the Dragon house was indeed a grave affair. Many assumed she would be wedded to her brother Aemond. And Alicent did wish for it as well, but Viserys shut down the suggestion. It would be more fruitful to use this as an opportunity to form alliances with other houses instead. So began the tedious process. You were halfway to sleep by the time the candidate from house Rosby left the parlor. Your options so far were too old, too lecherous, too vain or too unsightly. Most of them were all four. And you prayed for it to end. Alicent only gave you a sympathetic look, since her fate was not far off from what yours would be. She placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, ready to call it a day, when a servant came knocking. “Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen and Prince Jacaerys Velaryon seek an audience, my queen.” Alicent’s grip tightened on you, but she gestured for the servants to let them in anyway. And soon enough, came in Rhaenyra with Jace in tow. Your Jace, for whom you have longed for and pretended to not realise his longing for you. He has grown into a fine young man with strong features and thick black curls. “Your grace,” he bowed to Alicent before locking his gaze with you, which released a thousand butterflies in your stomach. “My lady,” he gallantly took your and placed a kiss on the back, which lasted a touch longer than appropriate. You felt your mother stiffen up, but decided to focus more on the lingering warmth from Jacaery’s lips. “Princess Rhaenyra,” Alicent flatly began. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” Rhaenyra smiled in response, not at all bothered by Alicent’s disdain. “I heard you were interviewing candidates for my dearest sister. I could not possibly allow it to conclude before the most suitable one had a chance.” “Yes!” you blurted out, unable to stop the grin forming on your lips until you realised everyone’s eyes were now on you and you flushed in embarrassment but quickly regained your composure. “I mean, it would be an honour.” Jace suppressed the laugh forming in his throat so you did not think he was ridiculing you. In fact, he found your reaction very pleasing and adorable. “Tis settled then,” Rhaenyra declared to prevent any protests from Alicent, who she pulled along to give the young lovers some privacy. Neither of you says anything. Just content looking into each other’s eyes and smiling until your mouths hurt. What would you interview him for, anyway? You knew everything about him. From his favourite food to his deepest secrets. You knew him as a person. Jace is the first to break from his reverie and crosses the room again to kneel before you. “My princess,” he covers her hands with his own. “Before speaking the words burning within my heart, I must ask, do you love another?”

Your eyes widen briefly before yoy reassuringly smile and shake your head, to which you see him visibly relax. “Good,” he smiles back, tightening his grip ever so slightly. “The past six years I have ached in agony. Every waking moment, I wished to sleep so that I may see you in my sleep. Y/n Targaryen, I love you, most ardently. Will you do me the honour of being my bride and future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms?” You freeze as his words wrap around you and sink into your skin, sending jolts down every nerve ending. Who knew your patience all day would be rewarded so handsomely? “Yes!” You fervently nod, feeling tears prickle your eyes, and Jace also bursts into his own expression of joy. »»———-　˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀　———-«« Not long after, you find yourselves before the Iron throne, next to your respective mothers. Viserys sweeps between you four before gesturing you forward. “Speak, daughter.” You glance at your mother who took no pains to hide her disapproval, then to Jacaerys who gave you an encouraging nod before you finally face your father. “The candidates today have been the most…comely, but I love Prince Jacaerys and I wish to marry him.” You clear your throat. “With your majesty’s permission, of course.” With that, you quickly scurry back to your mother, feeling rather exposed with all the eyes on and you and notice a small smirk on Jace from your peripheral. There is few moments of unsettling silence before your father raises a hand. “This calls for a celebration!” “But, my love!” Your mother steps forward. “You wished to form new alliances–” “And we shall arrange the wedding to be in three moons.” He cut her off with finality before dismissing everyone. So the betrothal of Princess Y/n Targaryen and Prince Jacaerys was announced the following day. A joyous occasion that many hoped will mend the seam between the two families. Alicent, in time, has come to accept the arrangement after some consolation from Otto. As long as the Hightower blood sits on that Iron throne, it is all that matters. »»———-　˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀　———-«« Inbox: Open

[romanoffsbish]

I’m Fine 🙂 / Save Me 🙃

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader (Familial / Sisters)

Warnings: Angst w/Bittersweet Ending | Reader Dies | Black Widow / Red Room Canon | Addiction | “Cry for Help”

All she had left was the memory of you. | WC: 1,512

"Do you ever feel like you're all alone in this world?"

Natasha looked up from her laptop quick. "What?"

"Like, no matter how hard you try, no one will ever love or regard you in the same way you do them?"

——

Natasha tried to approach you gently, "Y/N." Yet she wasn't quick enough as you jumped back. "Shut up."

There was a fire in your eyes she hardly recognized, and she took a step back. Looking in your eyes hurt, because you were not the same little girl who used to pick flowers from the garden just for her hair and part of her took blame for that. "Don't try and pretend like you do." If you were a wine you'd be the most bitter. "I don't know why you even keep me around Natasha."

The redhead scoffed bitterly, "because I love you!" It stung to feel the burden in her words—you're hurting yourself just to spite her, but she hurt you first and with the way your mind was racing this made sense.

"Or is it because you feel guilty?" You countered, and hit it on the head as she whispered, "Y/N, please..."

Crushing her the same way she did you the day she left you behind, in a place built to destroy a dreamer like you, in the hands of a man set out to punish you for the mistakes of the woman you loved the most. Ouch.

"Do you think the world would miss me if I vanished?"

"Of cou—." You mindlessly cut her off, words tinged with vitriol, "Of course not. You're the one they'd hold the candlelight vigils for, you'll be on a mural and I'd be the one the stray cats would miss, because just like them I know what it's like to truly have no place."

"Have you been smoking pot?" It reeked the longer she stood closer to you. Then you all but confirmed it as you grew defensive. "Is that all you can ask Natasha?"

Natasha clicked her tongue. "Answer the question."

"Yes," you monotoned, "what does that change?"

"Everything." You grew rather frustrated, "but how?"

“You’re not making any sense,” she tried to reason but you laughed incredulously, “this is the first time in my entire life that I am making complete sense, Natalia.”

"I don't like it when you're like this, sestra."

"I'm always like this." Natasha sighed, "yeah..."

"Yeah?" Natasha nodded shamefully and you couldn't stop the sob from breaking. She hated you.

"Then I won't be anything to you, anymore."

Natasha shot up in a cold sweat, her wife beater tank top sticking to her skin, the words of your last fight still ringing in her head; a cry for help and she was useless.

"Fuck," she hiccuped, her knees pulled to her chest as she sobbed alongside the sky just outside the window. She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes and tried to force the pity she felt for herself away, the grief...

There were so many things she could have said; done.

I don't understand, but I want to; talk to me...

Had she ran after you, would it be different now?

Could've grabbed you by the arm. Don't go. Stay.

I love you more than you could ever know.

Instead she scoffed, 'at least I can finish my paperwork now,' and let you storm out the door without noticing the keys to her brand new jet black Porsche were gone.

Yelena still won't return her calls. Melina and Alexei are beside themselves in a grief harsher than her own. Though she internally wagers that her loss was the greatest, because you were her little widow first...

~-~-~———————-~-~———————-~-~-~

"Natty?" the blue haired girl looked at you with a wide grin, the innocence of the nickname you gave her was endearing and in the same breath, twisted. It was clear to her you didn't remember much of the before. You were four years her junior, so similar to Yelena, this life was honestly all you'd known. "Da, malen'kiy pauk?"

Natasha laughed just as soon as you giggled. It brought her joy to know, that for a while, you could be free of the harsh shackles that awaited you all back home.

"A little girl at school today told me about how in her family, when a person goes away, that they can become something else when they visit." Natasha nearly lost the joy on her face as you curiously approached death. In her mind the hope you held onto was futile, that when you shoot someone between the eyes, they are as good as gone, but she could never destroy you like that.

Instead, she gave life to your wonder, "What would you want to be then, a kitty?" You shook your head and blurted your answer easily, "malen'kiy pauk." The gaps in your teeth only made your smile more endearing, and the redhead opened her arms to you. You launched yourself into your sister's arms and gripped her tight.

"Then I could visit you," you mumbled against her shirt and the natural redhead tensed. The idea of you no longer existing felt unpleasant—her walls crumbled the moment you and Yelena entered her life but this was the first time she'd felt anything excruciating.

"Moya malen'kiy pauk," she chuckled softly so as to not cry instead, she placed a kiss to your cheek then hoped your childlike attention span would change the tune.

Then a familiar jingle sounded and you were scrambling into the house, shrieking for your mom.

Natasha shook her head and walked to the old man who knowingly parked out front of your house. He handed the redhead three ice creams, and a disk.

—————

You stood next to Natasha in the line for lunch, which was just a tasteless tray variety of essential nutrients. It was rule of thumb not to talk in line, but you were never one to follow the rules, and neither was Natasha.

"Are you scared of death?" Natasha frowned. "What?"

"I think a healthy fear for the end is fair, but I'm not losing sleep over the concept. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm honestly not," you shrugged, stance indifferent but Natasha unfortunately believed you as you went on to say, "just wondering if I'm alone."

"Never with us," Yelena chimed in. "Death is an inevitability, just a matter of the when and how."

It wasn't hard to see to the fear in the blonde's eyes as she kept up her indifferent demeanor. Deep down, Natasha knew she was still that little girl from Ohio, who up until recently called fireflies, forest stars.

—

"I can't believe it," your tone clipped, the warmth you used to greet her with was gone. "I'll be back," she lied without realizing, but you could see it clearly. "Izhets."

(Liar)

"Y/N, I am going to end it once and for all," she hoped you could see the bigger picture, a promised freedom.

"Tozhe tupoy," you chuckled humorlessly. "There is no end, just more opportunities to build up defense."

(Dumb too)

Natasha fell for the American's words of ignorance.

"I love you," she said with certainty before she was one with the shadows, the last piece of your hope gone as it'd been years since you last caught sight of Lena.

~-~-~———————-~-~———————-~-~-~

A loud cry outside the purposely cracked window pulled her from her bittersweet thoughts of you...

Natasha stood beneath the tarp of your balcony, eyes downcast on a gorgeous white cat, paws soiled by the mud she trudged through with her three kittens. The redhead set a plate of food down for her then settled down beside her, towel in hand as she dried her babies.

The light of the moon cast over the kittens, reflecting off their varied fur patterns. A black one meowed, calling to her first among the litter, he hissed softly at the unfamiliar lift but settled fast as she began to dry his fur, pulling off grime and putting him to sleep.

The same occurred with the next boy cat, who was a gorgeous shade of gray, with faint swirls of orange.

Lastly, the smallest of the three, a gorgeous blend of white, brown and orange. She was the most vocal.

A grateful purr came from the mama cat when the redhead moved on to her paws, her eyes fluttered open at the unexpected contact, and when Natasha lifted her own gaze she gasped. With the light now on her face the color of her eyes was clear, a tear streamed down Nat's face without warning. The color and deep feeling of understanding behind them were just so, you.

"Oh my," a subdued laugh left her as she caught sight of something else, she scooped the feline into her lap, and placed a finger on her wet, pink nose in waiting. The blur of black transferred right on over and the woman smiled truly for the first time in eight months. "Dobro pozhalovat' domoy, moy malen'kiy pauk."

(Welcome home, my little spider)

[sugrhigh]

JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY - ( c.s )

REQUESTED HERE**

summary- you and chris have been broken up for a few weeks when you run into each other at a party. emotions run high, and you’re both overwhelmed by jealousy as you navigate being newly single.

warnings- smut, angst with no resolution! don’t come looking for a happy ending

ex!chris x fem!reader

a/n: this one hurt but i’m hoping it fulfills your requests!! enjoy xoxoxo and as always my inbox is open for whatever

what people don’t tell you about breaking up with your boyfriend is that every single outing afterwards has the potential to turn sour within a second. unfortunately, tonight is proving to be one of those times.

your friends decided to drag you to a pool party in the hills, thrown by a rather charming trust fund baby who happens to be a mutual acquaintance of the group. you hadn’t left your apartment in a questionable amount of time, so an intervention was necessary.

at first everything was fine; drinks were flowing, guys were hitting on you, and the pain was temporarily numbed. the least you could do was pretend to enjoy your newfound freedom for an hour or so.

but then you spot him; he’s standing by the decorated bar, drink in one hand and a pretty girl on his other arm. he looks as good as ever, long hair tousled to perfection, dressed in a simple black muscle tee and patterned trunks.

both your heart and your feet stop dead in their tracks. it’s been a few weeks since you called it quits, and you’d been able to avoid seeing him until this very moment. every kiss, every happy memory, and every argument—especially your very last—comes flooding right back.

watching him interact with another girl only makes it ten times more hurtful. you’re about to turn and run when his eyes meet yours, and he looks just as shocked as you feel.

it’s clear neither of you were expecting the other to be here, and you’re not quite sure what the protocol is for this situation. all you’re currently thinking is that you want to walk over there and rip that stupid bitch off of him, and you’re pretty sure he can tell.

one of his eyebrows raises, almost on instinct. he can see that you’re jealous, and you can see that he knows this fact. you’re embarrassed for a moment until you realize he’s taunting you, hand sliding down to the mystery girl’s ass as they talk amongst their circle.

then true anger rears its ugly head, a painful kind of anger like your nerves have been set on fire. who the fuck does he think he is, playing stupid games with you?

he should know that all he’ll win is stupid prizes. he’s just as greedy as you are, and seeing you with anyone else would piss him right off.

and it would also absolutely serve him right.

you straighten up, looking around for the cute boy—josh, if you remember correctly—who had approached you earlier to compliment your bikini. your eyes narrow in on him, sat by the edge of the pool with some of his buddies. the perfect target.

you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the wound in your heart inspiring you, but it doesn’t matter.

you don’t look back at chris. instead, you beeline toward the water, not hesitating to interrupt their chat as you tap on his shoulder. josh looks up with a huff, seemingly a bit annoyed until he realizes who it is.

his face softens immediately, squinting up at you like you’re suddenly the only thing he’s interested in. “oh, hey there.”

you smile, trying to be as enchanting as possible as you offer him your hand. “hello again. wanna dance?”

his friends are barely able to contain their excitement, and he nods eagerly in response to your question. his large palm slips into yours and you help him up, tugging him closer to the horde of people already swaying to the music.

you can physically feel chris’s eyes following the two of you through the crowd, which inflates your ego massively. you have no idea where your friends are, but right now you’re so riled up that you’re only focused on payback.

you turn your back to josh, allowing him to loosely hold your hips against his own. you move together well, and as nice as it is, all you can think about it chris. you dare to look over, and as expected, he’s glaring at you with the fire of a thousand suns.

you don’t want to smirk, but you feel one take over your face anyways. all he’s seeing is red; it doesn’t matter that you’re broken up, you shouldn’t be dancing with anyone like that unless it’s him.

he wasn’t the one that initiated that talk anyways. you had, because the strain of him being at such a busy point in his life was just too much. he didn’t fight it; he saw how unhappy you were because he was so focused on his next career moves, that facetimes had turned to texts and that your schedules never seemed to line up anymore.

you’re just as ambitious, zeroed in on your last year of school and working hard to finance that dream. it used to be easier, but then a lot more outside stress began tearing you apart.

that doesn’t mean you’re not the right person for him. chris already knows that you are, it’s just clearly not the right time. and it breaks his heart, but he can’t give you what you deserve right now.

this guy is no prince charming, though, and it’s pissing him off.

your head tilts as josh’s mouth ghosts over your neck, your lips parting slightly, and that’s when chris feels himself explode. the girl that was hanging around him doesn’t matter. in fact, he doesn’t excuse himself at all; he just sets his drink down on the bar and turns back to you.

he moves quickly, shifting by a few other people so that he can break this shit up. you pull away from josh before he even reaches you, but when he does his hand grips your wrist harshly.

“hey, man, what the—”

“she doesn’t want you.” chris calls over his shoulder as he pulls you away, and you know that everybody is watching.

you give josh an apologetic glance, because you do feel kind of bad, but chris is also yanking you along with such a force that you’re actually tripping over your feet. you try to catch up, but you look silly fumbling along behind him.

“slow the fuck down, jesus.” you try to tug him back, but he keeps his pace the same.

“no.” he says it in a harsh tone, though he slides his hand down to hold yours.

it surprises you a bit, but you don’t read into it too much. he’s still obviously pissed, dragging you past various crowds until you finally reach the house. there’s far less people inside, but neither of you are really paying attention to them.

“where are we going?” you ask as he leads you up the stairs, though you’re not doing much to resist.

“to talk.” he replies bluntly, as if it’s that simple.

you scoff, mainly to yourself, which is cut off when you reach the second floor and chris jerks you into a bathroom. he finally lets go of you, using one hand to slam the light switch on and the other to close and lock the door.

you’re backed up against the counter when he shifts around again, breathing heavily as he stands over you. you haven’t been this close together in quite some time, and it’s making your heart race out of control.

his dark eyes observe you for a second before he finally speaks. “you know i don’t like being teased, sweetheart. so who was that guy?”

you roll your eyes. “i don’t owe you an explanation. in case you forgot, we’re not together anymore.”

chris puts his palms down on the counter, boxing you in so that his face is only a few inches from yours. his cologne smells so familiar and so enticing, and you can’t help but gravitate a little closer even though you’re infuriated.

“doesn’t change the fact that i don’t want to see some fucking loser with his hands all over you.” he grumbles, and you can practically feel the steam coming out of your ears.

how much more hypocritical can he get?

you jab a finger into his chest harshly. “you think i wanted to see you playing grab-ass with a random girl? because news flash chris—i didn’t. you don't have the right to be all pissy just because i reacted to you being a dick.”

one of his hands goes to grip your throat impulsively, squeezing just enough to let you know that you’re frustrating him. you hate that it makes you throb, being so completely under his control.

you’ve never seen him this angry before, but in some odd way it makes you feel valid in regards to your own emotions.

“you better watch your goddamn mouth, or i’m gonna have to put it to good use.” chris spits bitterly, tilting your head slightly so that you’re forced to look in his eyes.

“oh, just shut the fuck up.” you sigh, leaning the rest of the way so that your lips crash together.

you’re not sure why you did it, but being so close without any real contact was driving you even crazier than his sanctimoniousness. and it feels incredible, his mouth devouring yours like it’s the first time.

your tongues slide together as if you’re the only thing he wants to taste ever again. and it’s true; he’s obsessed with savoring every inch of you, especially now that he’s not sure when the opportunity will present itself again.

you bite down on his lip, not caring enough to be gentle because you’re still annoyed. he groans as you let go, already hard as he slides his hands down to grip your ass so that he can hold you against him.

“you were mad that it wasn’t you, huh? that i wasn’t touching you in the middle of the party?” he says against your jaw as he leaves open-mouthed kisses along it.

it feels like he’s burning every place he touches. you can’t stand the fire, how fucking cocky he sounds, and yet you can’t get enough.

“yeah and you wished it was me in your arms instead, sweetheart.” you mock him breathlessly, tangling you fingers in his roots because you know he likes it.

you feel him clamp down on your neck lightly and you moan, rocking your hips against his in response. chris smirks, sucking the skin into his mouth a bit so it’ll bruise. the possessive part of him needs to leave a mark.

you've been driving him crazy in that little fucking bikini, covered only by a short white skirt. it’s so thin that it doesn’t hide anything anyways, so he yanks it up your hips desperately.

chris doesn’t want to wait anymore. all he’s done is think about this moment for the past three weeks, all he’s done is miss you.

“of course i did, you fucking know that. so are you gonna be good for me, or are we gonna do it the hard way?” he asks, even though it’s more like a growl.

his hand slips underneath your bathing suit bottoms, trailing downward slowly until his fingers ghost over you slick center. your breathing hitches as your nails slide to rake at his back, rutting upwards to try and feel more friction.

“fuck me like you mean it and we won’t have a problem.” you try to keep your voice steady, but he starts to apply more pressure to your clit, slowly circling it in a way that makes you slur your words toward the end.

“don’t have to tell me twice.”

you shouldn’t be this wet for him already, but you are. you feel him start to tease your entrance, his other palm kneading one of your breasts roughly. you whimper as he fully slides two fingers inside your warm cunt, recapturing your mouth with his own to quiet you down.

the music continues to thump from the floor below, and you’re pretty sure no one can hear you, though you both know you need to be quick.

the pressure is perfect, and you missed the way he feels all over you. he’s squeezing your hard nipples through your bikini top, thumb ghosting over your lower sensitive bud as he works you with his hand.

“more, chris, hurry up.” you beg with your forehead pressed against his, trying to tug at his board shorts even though you’re becoming weak in the knees as he curls his fingers.

he retracts them right then, and even though you immediately miss the tension you can’t wait for what’s to come. chris turns his focus towards shoving his trunks out of the way so that his erection can bounce free, and your hand instinctively goes to stroke him.

he cuts you off before you can, grabbing your wrist and spinning you around so quickly that you have to steady yourself by pressing your palms flat on the counter. he forces you to bend a bit more, ensuring that your ass pokes out as he caresses the curve of your hips.

“you’ve always been quite the brat.” chris shakes his head once, slapping his hand down against the side of your flesh playfully.

you let out a small whine, backing up further so that your wet core comes in contact with his shaft. he curses, wrapping a hand in your hair as the other grips your side.

“see? so impatient.” he chides before swiftly lining up with your entrance and ramming his cock inside you without warning.

you both moan, long and loud as he stretches you out. chris swears to god that you’re made for him, that nobody else will ever make him feel this euphoric. your back arches as he sets a fast pace, dragging your hips back so that your skin slaps together.

“fuck, you feel so—mmmn.” you groan as he trails his hand down the center of your stomach, roaming towards your puffy clit again.

you feel yourself shudder slightly, completely overwhelmed by the incredible amount of stimulation. you’re forced to stare at your reflection as chris holds your weak head up, your eyes tearing up a bit.

“tell me i’m the fucking best, baby.” he leans down to purr in your ear, snapping his hips so that he hits the perfect spot deep inside.

“you’re the fucking best.” you tell him truthfully, leaning into the momentum so that he bottoms out inside of you during every stroke.

chris admires all of it; the way your ass bounces when you come in contact with the top of his thighs, the feeling of your hair in his palm, the lewd expression of your face in the mirror.

he can feel your walls squeezing around him, and he chokes on another moan as he drills into you. you’re both nearly ready to explode, and the added pressure of his hand between your legs helps build the wave.

“m’close—shittt, keep going.” you demand in between your heavy pants.

“taking my dick so well, princess. wanna see you cum all over me.” chris pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to stave off the familiar feeling of his orgasm closing in on him.

his strokes grow sloppier, though he tries his best to keep his pace as you praise him through your teeth. the band in the pit of your stomach is about to break, and it’s so hard to stay standing as you begin to tremble harder.

“oh my god, chris—!” you cry out, muscles tense and eyes screwed shut as you ride out the high.

“fuck yes.” he chants back.

his dick twitches, and he’s unable to hold it back any longer as you finish together. chris slows to a stop and you both shake slightly against each other, which allows him a moment to enjoy being inside of you before pulling out.

you don’t even have a second to think about what comes next before he reaches for the toilet paper to help clean you up. its habit now; he’s always loved caring for you, but he feels even more compelled now that you’re not together.

“i’ve got it.” you mumble quietly, still trying to find a way to speak up.

“let me help—” chris continues on regardless.

suddenly everything is too much, and you know you’re becoming overstimulated in an entirely different way. it feels so familiar, so domestic, and it rips through you like a bullet.

“no! i mean, just…just stop.” you snap, pushing him away so that you can do it yourself.

he puts his hands up, clearly confused by the sudden change in the atmosphere. you can’t blame him, considering you’d gotten just as caught up in the moment as he had.

“what’s wrong?” chris asks, though he’s scared to hear the answer.

“nothing,” you lie, twisting your bottoms back into place so that you can pull your skirt up, “but we shouldn’t have done that.”

he scoffs as he also gets re-dressed. “you didn’t seem to think that five minutes ago when you initiated it.”

you know you hurt him by saying it, but it hurts you even more because it’s the truth. you feel like an idiot for leaning into the temptation; it’s only going to make it all more complicated.

your eyes cloud with moisture as you look at him, and he eases the attitude instantly. the energy has once again shifted, and chris can visibly see the dismay written on your face.

“it was stupid because it doesn’t change anything. this still won’t work and we both know it, and it fucking sucks so much because shit like that only makes it harder to get over you.” your voice breaks pathetically, and you brush the first fallen tear from your cheek.

he takes a step forward, hands stretching out to hold either side of your head. it’s an uncontrollable reaction to seeing you cry.

and he knows it’s egocentric, but the last thing in the world he wants is for you to move on. chris can’t guarantee that you won’t if you’re not together, and he would never interfere if you found happiness elsewhere.

that doesn’t mean he can stand the thought of you finding it with anyone besides him though.

“so don’t get over me. be with me.”

a small sob passes by your lips, which are still raw from earlier. your hand quivers as you place it against his chest gently, forcing some space between you.

his arms drop back to his side in defeat, because he can tell that the physical contact is doing the exact opposite of helping.

“don’t say that. you know it’s not fair, to either of us. we’d just go around in circles, and i won’t let that happen. i won’t ruin all of the good by driving us into the ground.”

chris stills upon hearing this. he’s scared to move, scared to even breathe, because it means the moment will continue and he’ll inevitably watch you walk away.

“please, i’ll do anything. we can move in together, or plan extra trips just the two of us. i’ll…i’ll make the time, just don’t leave.” he pleads, forcibly holding himself back from reaching out for you again.

chris knows it won’t fix anything even as he says it. you’d be coming home to an empty apartment, and finding time to schedule a vacation would be nearly impossible. they’re some of the same things you’ve already talked about, it won’t stop you now.

you suck in a breath, trying to compose yourself to the best of your ability. it doesn’t really help, and you can’t meet his eye as you choke out the final sentence.

“i love you, but i have to go.”

chris feels his mouth open, but the words don’t come out. you turn on your heel without missing another beat, fumbling with the lock a bit before tearing the door open.

you finally hear his response as you go, faintly over your shoulder: it’s quiet confirmation that he loves you too.

@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @sofieeeeex @sturnzsun @sturniolossss @coquettecowg1rl @sturnedits

[remuslupinslittleslut]

Hey,🪄

Can I request a poly marauders fluff one shot where the reader feels insecure about whether they still love her? The reader is jealous of the relationship between Lily and the boys and thinks that they want to date Lily instead of them; especially because the whole school keeps saying how good they would be together.

Thanks if you'll do☘️

Here you go luvvie, hope you like it!

This is Part One, Part Two Here! CW: lil angsty but happy ending :)

Sitting at your house table, you look over to your boys, normally, this would bring comfort to you but not today. Today, they're sitting in a group of four, with Lily Evans. You liked Lily, she was sweet, kind and smart, but knowing that James used to have a huge crush on her makes you feel a bit funny about their seating arrangement. He's sitting next to her, leaning closer to tell her little jokes, while Sirius and Remus sit across from them, joined in the conversation.

It would feel better if your relationship was made official to the rest of the school, but you had all agreed that you'd keep it private for a bit, keep it for yourselves.

"Aren't they just so cute", your friend says from next to you, "do you think they all have the hots for her?"

Your heart drops, they do look cute. But they look cuter with you. Sighing, you decide you're done with dinner, and excuse yourself to the library, for some late studying.

•

It doesn't get better the next day. You decided to sit with your roommate for history of magic, making Remus the odd one out, as James and Sirius sit together. Of course, Remus ends up sitting with Lily, and everytime you hear Remus' low chuckle from something she said, the clump in your throat grows bigger. Your friend makes another rude comment about Remus and Lily, making you speed out of the classroom as soon as the bell rings.

•

That same night you're sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Remus, as the other two boys have practice. Feeling that green monster everytime that full head of red hair comes around, you decide to sit closer to Remus, show everyone that he's yours, putting your legs across his knees.

"Are you okay, princess?" He mumbles, kissing your head.

"Yeah, fine", you say, not looking up from your book. He humms, not fully believing you, but deciding not to press the matter.

When the clock hits 8 pm, you know it's not long before James and Sirius come back up to the tower, and when they come back, the four of you will retreat to their dorm, and everything will be good again.

That doesn't happen, however, not really. They come back, with Marlene and the rest of their team, and they give the entire common a very intense retelling of practice. It feels good, your legs still over Remus' and James sitting on the armrest next to you, Sirius walking around the room, dramatically showing his great save, pretending to be holding his beater's bat.

It all comes to an end, when Lily tells him to shut his mouth and he quips back a "make me, Evans". Now, even Sirius is flirting with her, while you're sitting right there. Your eyes roll back far enough to see your own brain, so sick of them all liking Lily Evans more than you.

Your eyeroll, however, doesn't go unnoticed. "Guys, time to shower, come on", Remus says, tapping your thighs, showing you that you should follow.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you upset over something?" He asks as the four of you enter their dorm. You sigh, looking down. It feels silly, they shouldn't have to take care of your feelings, if they'd all rather be with Lily.

"I'm fine", you say, quietly. They share a look, before sitting you down on one of their beds, standing above you. "You're not fine, you've been avoidant with us for days, what's wrong?" "Yeah, you've gotta talk to us, we can't make it better if we don't know what we did wrong."

You sigh, again, knowing that they're right, but not really looking forward to the conversation that is to come, "do I have to be worried about Lily Evans taking my place in this relationship?" You decide to go the straightforward way, wanting to ask before they tell you, letting them know that you know that they like her.

They share another look, and then Sirius is laughing, "oh, baby, is that what's up?" You look up at him, "oh darling no, no one's ever gonna take your spot here, we love you so much-" James is interrupting him, "yeah, we don't like her, not like that, it's just nice being friends with her now that I have a girlfriend, she doesn't have to worry about me hitting on her" "Did you really think we'd like anyone but our little princess? You're our good girl, and we love you so much. And Lily knows about us, so she doesn't think anything else is going on", Remus fills in.

Oh. Oh... Lily... knows? About your relationship with the boys... Well that changes a lot of things, but you still feel the doubt in the pit of your tummy, "It just seemed like maybe you wanted to try to see someone else..."

Coming down next to you, a post-practice-sweaty James pulls you into his lap, "but baby, you're the only one we want, I'm so sorry if we haven't shown you that enough", he starts kissing all over your face making you giggle.

"Yeah, babes, you're never getting rid of us" "maybe you could let us show you how much we love you?"

They all envelope you, holding onto you, gripping you and holding you close, leaving soft kisses and whispering sweet words. You know that tomorrow you'll have to apologize to Lily for assuming the worst, but right now, you're perfectly happy just laying with your boys.

The next day, the whole castle knew about the four of you. <3

Part two here.

[lowkeyerror]

A New Victim

Sam Carpenter x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Notes: 1st part of a lil mini-series, had to post something for Halloween, will contain suspected Scream warnings eventually

Summary: You knew something of the rumors surround your classmate, Tara but you never took them seriously. However you find yourself wrapped up in the real life horror story.

Pt2 | Pt3 | Masterlist

You had heard the rumors about Tara Carpenter and her sister circulating around campus. The rumors didn’t bother you much. Or rather they didn’t persuade you to treat your classmate, Tara, any differently than you would treat anyone else.

Some people were afraid to interact with her in fear of pissing her off. They were more afraid that getting on Tara’s bad side would alert her sister, Sam.

Now Sam was a little scary. You had seen her with Tara a few times. The woman looked like her primary state of being was upset. She looked like a very serious figure.

You didn’t blame her. Their whole group of friends had almost been murdered. Instead of sympathy and compassion the public offered accusations and scrutiny. So much so that they moved away from their hometown to escape the media.

“You’re friends with my sister, right?”

You were sat under a tree on campus the first time you heard Sam speak. Looking at her this close made your heart flutter. She was an attractive woman and that was enough to make you sweat a bit.

Unable to speak for a moment, you nod dumbly.

Sam ignores it and continues with her questioning,” Have you seen her today? I’ve been looking for her everywhere and I can’t find her.”

“She left class a bit early today. I think she said something about Chad needing her help with something.”

Sam rolls her eyes, “Of course she did. I’m Sam by the way, sorry to interrupt you."

Before you can say your own name, the younger Carpenter sister is shouting it as she approaches the tree with Chad trailing behind her.

“Y/n! Don’t mind my overprotective and obsessive sister. What ever she threatened you with, I can promise she won’t do.”

“Where have you been? Y/n told me you left class to meet Chad.”

Tara glares at the girl sitting,” You told her I skipped.”

You shrug,” She seemed worried, so I just told her you left with Chad.”

“Where I am is none of her business. She has my number if she’s looking for me.”

Sam scoffs, “Having your number doesn’t mean shit if you don’t answer your fucking phone.”

“I think we should all just calm down for a second, okay. Tara is safe and everything is fine,” Chad tries to de-escalate the situation.

“No, it’s not fine Chad. Why is my sister skipping classes to meet up with you? And why isn’t she answering my text or calls?”

Y/n had no place in this conversation, but she felt like moving away would only cause a bigger fuss.

“Because we were fucking. Is that what you want to hear Sam?”

Sam runs a hand through her hair,” I don’t care that you’re fucking. I care that I can’t get in contact with you when I’m worried about you.”

“What are you worried about?”

Sam looks at the girl as if she’s grown two heads,” Are you fucking serious Tara?”

Tara groans,” We aren’t there anymore, Sam. We left Woodsboro. No one is coming after us. So why should I have to live my life in paranoia because you can’t move on?”

“Fine, you know what I'm done. Don't pretend you don't have that feeling like someone is always fucking watching us. Don't pretend like what happened back there doesn’t fucking traumatize you and make it hard to live your day-to-day life. But most of all don’t act like there aren’t psychos out there willing to try to fucking replicate that shit because it happens every fucking time, Tara.”

Sam storms off after that. Tara’s eyes soften for a moment before her mask comes back on. Chad goes to rest his hand on her shoulder, but she shakes him off.

It’s only then that her eyes land on you, “You must feel like it’s your lucky day getting front row tickets to the freak show.”

You shook your head, “It’s none of my business, so I don’t really care.”

Chad senses that there’s more you want to say, “But…”

“But your sister kind of has a point. There’s a lot of sick fucks out there that have a weird obsession over him and over y’all. Entire internet communities are filled with those kinds of people. It’s a little naïve to think that just because you moved away that you’re safe.”

Neither Tara nor Chad like the way the last sentence sounds in your voice. They both eye you suspiciously. That’s when you realize what you said could come off wrong.

You began to sputter and put your hands up in surrender, “I’m just agreeing with Sam.”

Chad wasn’t convinced, but Tara had known you a little better. She knew that your awkward demeanor was tried and true.

“Anything else you want to pile on, Y/n?”

You look between the standing pair,” You left class to fuck your boyfriend?”

That leaves them both blushing rapidly. Tara quickly spews out, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

While Chad opts for, “We did not hook up.”

You laugh at their response. Unfortunately for you, this brought you a step to close to the kids from Woodsboro in the eyes of Ghostface.

The killer had watched the entire interaction from start to finish. From the moment Sam approached you, the killer began analyzing you.

They saw the potential interest you had in Sam and your budding friendship with Tara as enough reason to add you to their list.

Tara and Chad eventually left you alone. Shortly after their departure you decided that it was time for you to leave as well.

It was still daylight when you decided to make your way to your apartment. There was a pit in your stomach as you walked. Though the streets were crowded, it felt like someone was staring at you.

You wanted to dismiss the feeling, but you checked your surroundings first. It was almost as if the crowd had faded away and the sounds of the bustling New York streets came to a halt.

Staring at you from across the street, was Ghostface. In your mind this wasn’t real. It couldn’t have been. You had stopped walking, almost paralyzed in your spot.

The killer sent a wave your way, before dragging their finger across their neck. You shut your eyes as you stood still. You were trying to convince yourself that when you opened them, you’d wake up from a dream.

When you feel a body collide with yours, you shriek and push the person away. Your eyes shoot open instantly.

You don’t know if it’s lucky or unlucky that Samantha Carpenter was on the ground in front of you.

The woman wanted to yell at you, but the look of terror on your face stopped her. It was like you were in a trance, your eyes were glued to a spot across the street. Sam looks in that direction but doesn’t see anything.

She slowly picks herself off of the floor. She’s hesitant to touch you, so instead she just calls your name, “Y/n, what was that about?”

You turn your attention to the woman, but you look physically ill, and she takes note of that.

“I saw- He’s going to kill me. Oh fuck, I’m going to throw up.”

The bile quickly rises up your throat. You rush to the end of the street and hunch over.

Sam is instantly by your side. She holds your hair with one hand and rubs your back with the other. The Carpenter sister couldn’t really make out what you said the first time.

Once you finish vomiting, she wants to question you again, but refrains from doing so. Though it is against her own set of strict rules, you look unwell, and she can’t leave you like this in good conscious.

The apartment is close by, so she helps you stand and guides you to her apartment. You don’t say anything during the walk, you barely have even the cognizance to pick up your feet.

The only image that keeps replaying in your head is the cloaked figure dragging their finger across their throat. It makes you want to puke all over again.

When she enters the apartment it’s a full house. Tara, Chad, Anika, Mindy, Ethan, and Quinn; were all congregated in the living room.

Sam motions the people on the couch to move out of the way. She sits you up straight and everyone is silent.

“Who is that? I thought we strictly had a no one, except Quinn's hook ups and us, in this apartment rules.” Mindy is the first to speak up.

“Why is Y/n here and why does she look like that?” Tara gives her sister a pointed look.

“Don’t look at me I found her on the street like this. She shoved me to the ground and vomited in the street.”

“Poor thing,” Quinn reacts to Sam’s words.

“Did she say anything? Because it looks like she’s a walking zombie,” Ethan adds.

Sam nods, “She did, but I didn’t understand her and seconds later she was puking.”

Anika nudges Tara,” She’s your friend, try to get through to her.”

Tara slowly approaches Y/n. She gets eye level with the girl who seems to be in a catatonic state.

“Y/n, what happened? Talk to me,” Tara’s voice is gentle when she speaks. A side of her that no one in the house is used to seeing emerges.

You begin to tremble, and your eyes suddenly come alive. Your voice is shaky,” He’s going to kill me."

It was a whisper, but Tara heard you perfectly clear. Sam notices her sister’s body tense after the words left your lips.

“Who?”

You begin to shake your head as tears start to stream down your face. Your head buries itself in your hands.

“I saw him, across the street,” your throat burns as you spoke.

Sam hears that part and interjects herself in the conversation,” Who did you see Y/n?”

“Ghostface.”

[itsdeniini]

Can i requestt how if enhypen feels jealous/possessive to his partner how they handle it?

HOW ENHYPEN MEMBERS HANDLE JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS TOWARDS THEIR PARTNER ꨄ︎

- a tarot reading ๋࣭ ⭑🕸🦇🕸๋࣭ ⭑

n ☻ t e ! : i am a self-taught tarot reader, and the interpretations i provide are personal. if anyone would like to share their own insights, i would be more than happy to hear them! please be kind <𝟑

HEESEUNG ♱

He rationalizes his jealousy, believing that if someone truly likes him, they'll stay; if not, it wasn't meant to be. He maintains his composure and politeness, but if he's deeply in love, he'll give a cold stare to anyone who tries to take his love, confronting them to back off. Overall, he is introspective about his feelings, often seeking to understand them before reacting. This approach helps him maintain control over his emotions, even in challenging situations.

JAY ♱

He gets jealous-protective rather than pure jealousy. Technically possessive? He's generally too shy to act on it, but those close to him can sense his jealousy and protective nature. He pouts frequently, a lot. Trying to mask it behind quietness & impassiveness? NO! He will pout and scowl at anyone who dares to take his partner's attention away. If he sees someone flirting with his boo, he WILL hold their hand in the most obvious way.

JAKE ♱

He tries his best to keep his jealousy to himself, but sometimes it slips out. He will argue to either justify or alleviate the feeling, trying to make himself feel better. He used to be more shy about it, but with his partner, with whom he has a strong bond, he can be extremely possessive. He considers himself the best man for someone and believes they shouldn't be afraid to acknowledge it.

SUNGHOON ♱

He avoids the person and pretends everything is fine when they're around his partner, but this inner conflict eats him up, leading to self-isolation for contemplation. Or he just beats the SHI– well, he just tries to release the pent-up tension that he accumulated. Sometimes, this tension spills over into his interactions with others, causing misunderstandings and further isolation. Other times, he channels it into his work or hobbies, finding temporary relief but never truly resolving the underlying issue.

SUNOO ♱

He struggles to remember ever feeling genuinely jealous. Perhaps envious, but never in a romantic sense. The casual use of these terms confuses him. If someone claimed to be jealous, he would urge them to stop that behavior. He would inquire about their insecurities. He loves openly and does as he desires, encouraging his partner to do the same if they wish. He's not prone to jealousy, although he might feel a twinge of envy if his partner is with someone else, knowing it's not his place to join.

JUNGWON ♱

He tends to feel jealous quietly. He won't express it directly but might become distant for a while until you inquire or he moves past it. He can also be a bit oblivious, so unless it's very obvious, it usually doesn't bother him. When he does recognize his jealousy, he prefers to reflect on it alone rather than confronting the issue head-on. Despite this, his care and affection are unwavering, often evident through small, thoughtful gestures. In time, he learns to communicate better, finding ways to share his feelings without letting them fester.

NI-KI ♱

He rarely experiences jealousy; instead, he tends to become quiet and a bit grumpy when feeling lonely or neglected. With a little patience for his sour mood and some extra love and attention, he quickly bounces back. During these times, he appreciates small gestures of affection, like a surprise hug or his favorite meal. A simple conversation or shared activity can also lift his spirits and bring back his usual cheerful demeanor.

[fivesslut8]

I just got to the episode in miraculous s5 where alya is just not believing marinette and omg it just makes my blood boil anyway heres a revised version of how i think it should have gone down

Marinette felt her pulse racing as she stared at Alya, her best friend, the person she thought would always have her back. But the look on Alya's face—the disbelief, the way she was brushing her off like she was being paranoid—was too much to take. Marinette's fists clenched around the edge of her lunch tray, knuckles white.

Lila had been lying again, and everyone was falling for it. Again. Marinette could feel her stomach twisting in knots as she tried to keep calm, but the fury bubbling inside her was impossible to ignore this time. Adrien had been by her side, trying to back her up, but Alya and Nino just wouldn't listen.

"You don't need to defend her, Adrien," Alya said, her voice dismissive as she rolled her eyes. "I mean, come on. It's not that big of a deal. Marinette always has a problem with Lila, and it's getting old. Just... let it go."

Marinette's breath caught in her throat. She felt something snap.

"Let it go?" she repeated, her voice low, trembling with restrained rage. She set her tray down on the table with a loud *clatter*, startling everyone. "You think I should just *let it go*?"

Alya blinked, clearly taken aback. "Mari, I didn’t mean—"

"No! You listen to me for once!" Marinette shouted, stepping closer, her face flushed with anger. "I’m sick of this! Lila’s been lying to all of you from the very beginning, and no one—*no one*—will listen to me! I’ve tried to be calm, I’ve tried to be patient, but I’m done! I’m done pretending like I’m the one with the problem here!"

Adrien stood frozen, unsure what to do, while Nino looked uncomfortable, fidgeting nervously. Alya opened her mouth to say something, but Marinette cut her off, her eyes burning.

"You’re supposed to be my best friend, Alya," Marinette spat, her voice cracking. "But you’d rather believe some lying, manipulative snake than the person who's always had your back! You'd rather trust her over me? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Alya’s eyes widened, but Marinette wasn’t finished.

"You know what’s worse?" Marinette continued, her voice growing sharper. "It's the fact that every time Lila pulls her little tricks, you act like *I'm* the one overreacting, like *I’m* the one causing the problem. But she’s been lying to your face, and you just eat it up like it's nothing!"

"Marinette, I—"

"Shut up!" Marinette snapped, her heart pounding in her chest. She couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, not from the betrayal, not from the sheer frustration that had been choking her for months. "I'm done being the nice one! I'm done trying to protect you from her lies when you don’t even give a damn about me! Do you know how much it hurts to watch you believe her over me, time and time again?"

Alya stood there, speechless, guilt flickering in her eyes, but Marinette was too far gone to stop now.

"You can keep letting her manipulate you, but I'm done being your doormat. If you want to trust someone like Lila instead of me, then fine. But don’t you *dare* expect me to stay quiet and smile like everything’s okay. Because it’s not." Her voice dropped to a bitter whisper. "And I don’t think it ever will be."

The tension in the room was suffocating. Marinette's chest was heaving, her hands trembling with the weight of all the emotions she had kept buried for too long.

Alya opened her mouth to respond, but for the first time, she had no words.

Without another glance, Marinette grabbed her tray and stormed off, her heart still pounding, anger and pain swirling together like a storm she couldn’t contain. Maybe she had gone too far, maybe she hadn’t. But for the first time in a long time, she didn’t care.

[jals-stuff]

Taking care of it! p.2

That took ages because I had a shitton of things to do, apologies.

You can find part one here.

warnings: we talkin' about snakes here.

word count: 5.9k

note: i had a very specific ending planned and a very slight change in mood swept it all away, so there ya go.

The snake was now out of its egg and you were absolutely ecstatic. It was your first time actually caring for a pet, and you had even seen it come to life. Your petty rivalry with Orter didn't matter anymore and all you wanted now was to see what kind of colours Rivers would get as it sheds its old skin.

What you didn't know was if the beast was going to keep absorbing your energy as it kept growing or if it only took in emotions. Asking the teacher was out of the question, but you knew you'd find out about it quickly.

That night had been rather sleepless due to the excitement of seeing this adorable creature come out of its shell. You had carefully made a little nest inside one of your scarf and when the sun rose, you decided to take a little walk.

Orter was against the idea of letting you wander around on your own, because what if you just collapsed again? But it was all nonsense to you and you wrapped your scarf around your neck, then placed Rivers carefully on top of the cotton.

It didn't seem to mind being carried around, and at least it wasn't alone in your room. Walking around with a snake inside your scarf was unusual, but it was nothing compared to Orter’s heavy steps behind you as he just refused to let you be on your own.

“I’m just going to the store, Orter. I’ll be fine.”

“I don't want you to collapse and crush Rivers in the process.” Yes, that was his excuse. Truth is he wouldn't forgive himself if he left you alone in your current state. But he couldn't possibly tell you that, could he?

You did take offence in his words, though. Was he calling you fat? Ah, but again, he was pretty blunt by nature. The slight change in your expression made him panic just a little bit.

“And… if you get hurt, you won't be able to take care of Rivers anymore. This is a two-people assignment.” He added, pushing his glasses up a little bit. It was obvious what he thought, but you were pretty dense yourself.

“..right.” Was all you said before you entered the store, still carrying the mandragora snake inside your scarf. It felt nice to finally be able to walk around instead of letting him do everything. You bought some snacks, of course, and decided it was time for a little stroll in the Academy's gardens.

It really felt odd having Orter follow every single one of your steps and just pretending not to be here, staying all silent. He had his usual neutral expression, but the coldness in his eyes was a well-built wall to conceal his actual thoughts.

The sight of you being so excited about the snake and finally getting outside was refreshing, to say the least. You were walking slightly faster than him, and he had to take some of those comically big steps to catch up to you.

You were looking around as if you had never seen a plant in your entire life and he found that absolutely adorable. You sped up a little and so did he, and then…

You felt a little dizzy, as if your energy had vanished, and you stopped walking. The second your body leaned backwards, he was behind you to hold your shoulders so you wouldn't collapse. You looked up at him with a small sigh and just let out a stupidly childish chuckle.

“Ha! Thanks, Orter.” 

It absolutely melted his heart but he didn't say anything, just let you rest against him as he pushed his glasses back up, one of his hands firmly holding the back of your shoulder.

“See, this is why I insisted on coming. Had I not been here…”

“But you were. It's nice, thank you.” You just said, taking the opportunity to rest as you just leaned against him without really thinking, breathing deeply and hoping you'd quickly regain your energy. 

He didn't say anything to that, but you could feel his hand faintly tighten against your shoulder. A week ago, you would've panicked but somehow it felt relaxing now. You had to resist the sudden and very unexpected urge to put your hand on top of his. 

Of course you didn't do it, you were too busy wondering why you wanted to do such a thing. You were overthinking the hell out of it and for a second, it felt like Rivers was squirming around inside your scarf. 

You exhaled deeply and looked down at the small snake. “Oh, sorry Rivers. Too much?” And the snake flicked its tongue slightly in response. Orter looked down at it, then at you, as he had no clue what you meant by that.

Was he going to ask? Absolutely not. He would be damned the day he reveals even a portion of his feelings. Feelings? He couldn't place a word on what he was feeling, but he definitely didn't despise you anymore. 

You weren't planning on moving anytime soon but some students were kind of staring now and it was really embarrassing. “Um… I think I'm okay now.”

“Are you?” He asked and you really, really wanted to say that you weren't, that you needed him to just stay like this for a little longer, and that under no circumstance he should let go, but you just nodded, and his hand didn't simply leave your shoulder. It traced your arm down to your elbow before he cut contact completely. 

What is up with this guy? You wondered, but what was up with you as well? Rivers was almost going crazy with all of the emotions he had to absorb and it was only the first day. 

“Anyway… let's, um… go back..?” You suggested in an unsure tone, and he merely agreed. The way back felt like an eternity, confused students staring at the two of you, wondering why you're both headed for your dorm room. 

As soon as you took Rivers out of your scarf, Orter carefully held him and stared for a bit. He then just sat on the bed opposite to yours and kept it in his hands, looking at it as if he had never seen anything like this before.

“Isn't it so cute?”

“It…” ‘isn't nearly as cute as you’ was what he wanted to say but he decided not to. “...is, yes.” He kept looking at it in an intense effort not to stare at your amazed expression, with stars in your eyes as you gazed upon the adorable baby snake.

This was going to be one hell of a rough week. He had nothing to pour his attention into since there was no homework. He could read another book, but then you would probably think he doesn't want to talk to you, and gods, he does.

He could absolutely research more things about young mandragora snakes, but then you'd be left alone, what if you collapsed? What if you weren't feeling okay? What if you needed him for something and had to get out of your room and go out of your way to find him but ended up fainting again?

He was clearly overthinking and Rivers could feel it, slightly squirming in his hands. Orter came back to himself and blinked a few times, then sighed as he looked at the snake. “Oh, sorry.” He muttered, petting it with one of his fingers.

It was your turn to be confused as he apologised. For a second, you wondered if he, too, was overthinking, but… that was definitely not his style, why would he? An idea suddenly crossed his mind.

“We could go to the library and do some more research if you'd like.”

You thought for a bit; researching was an excellent idea and this way, you’d be making good use of your time while also staying with Orter. While also staying with Orter? When did that become a priority to you? Your thoughts were scrambled again and you just shook your head to dismiss them.

“Good idea, let’s go, you can have it.” You said as you started taking off your scarf, but he stopped you and just carefully placed Rivers inside of it. He couldn’t carry the snake, not if he had to pay attention to you in case something went wrong.

You assumed exactly that, as you didn’t oppose this decision and just grabbed a few snacks and left your room, followed by the straight-faced sandman. Everytime you started walking a little too fast, he would simply grab your sleeve to slow you down a little and give you this look, these eyes that practically said don’t waste your energy out loud.

And instead of rolling your eyes or being snarky like the old you would’ve done, you’d slow down, knowing he was right. You were paying attention to Rivers inside your scarf, sometimes patting the top of its head with your index finger and the little snake didn’t seem like it minded at all.

However as you did this, your eyes weren’t exactly focusing on the path and you felt something hit your whole front as you stumbled backwards, right into Orter’s chest and he put both hands on your shoulders to stabilise you. Looking up, you were met with a student’s annoyed glare.

“Hey, can you fucking watch it?”

“Ah—” You felt terribly sorry and you were about to apologise, but you felt the sand magic user’s hands tighten against your shoulders slightly, prompting you to stay quiet. His eyes travelled from your figure to the student’s face, giving him this cold look he was known for.

“Do we have a problem here?” He asked, and oh boy, you could feel the atmosphere brutally change, as if the air around the three (four, with baby Rivers) of you was thick and icy. You looked up towards Orter’s face and he was staring daggers at this poor guy, who just stepped back quickly.

“I-I’m sorry, I should’ve paid more attention!” He stuttered, and this obviously should’ve been your line, but these golden eyes were too intimidating for anyone to handle. The student quickly left and Orter pushed his glasses up a little and blinked slowly, then looked down at you.

“Is everything alright, (Y/N)?”

Somehow, for some reason, for some goddamn reason, your heart was beating too quickly for your own good. You couldn’t even speak up, because if you did, the only thing that would come out is a choked out, high-pitched sound, as if to explain the amount of pressure your diaphragm was currently undergoing, and you only felt like screaming. Why? Was it badass, was it scary? Was it both?

A quick nod was enough for him to sigh softly in relief, and he gently pushed your shoulders forwards so you’d keep walking. And you did. The trip to the library was undisturbed after the earlier events, even if you kept glancing down at Rivers to check how it was doing. Orter pushed the door open for you, a true gentleman, you thought, and found a nice secluded spot for the two— three of you. 

You sat down and he immediately fetched some books on mandragora snakes. Now that you’re thinking about it, this library is really huge, it has books about anything and everything. You could get stuck in here and be busy for more than a lifetime reading all of them.

Both of you opened your own book to take some notes. This whole moment was silent until Orter heard you whisper something and, as he turned to face you, he saw you hunched over one of the pages with Rivers’ head slightly coming out of the scarf. His eyes travelled to said page and he thought he was going to implode. 

“Look here, Rivers!” You whispered and the snake followed your finger. You were… showing him pictures of other mandragora snakes, this time adult ones, and it seemed to be looking. The display was ridiculously adorable and he couldn’t hold back a soft chuckle and a faint smile as he watched you introduce Rivers to its congeners. How could you get any cuter when he thought it was impossible?

You glanced at Orter and found him staring at you with that very faint smile of his, and you couldn’t help but think he looked really handsome like this. The slight blush that crept upon your face was out of your control and you just pressed your lips together in an unfructuous attempt to hide it. 

“I-I’m sorry, did I disturb your reading..?”

He chuckled again, this time a little louder, at your worried expression. “No, of course not.” He looked at you with eyes full of kindness, a rare occurrence for a man like him. “By all means, do not let me interrupt.”

You couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you, though he did seem very sincere… but now that he had noticed, it felt a little embarrassing, and just as if he could feel it, he brought his book closer to you and pointed at a picture of a young mandragora snake and looked at Rivers. “Looks like you, buddy.”

You almost exploded at how cute that was of him, but said nothing and just watched him playfully pat the top of the snake’s head. Orter’s soft side was unknown to the public, and witnessing it had drastically improved your mood for today, and probably the days to come as well. 

The research session led you both to more notes on how to take care of a young mandragora snake and what their colour patterns mean. For example, the majority of this species gets glossy scales with purple flower patterns when they are healthy, but some rarer colours had been observed a few times in their natural habitat; specially strong specimens would have beautiful golden scales and very faint black flower patterns, some of them, mostly in captivity, would get darker green scales with white flower patterns, indicating they had absorbed a lot of anxiety from their owners.

Some had rocky, callous scales and looked really dangerous, just like the one your teacher had shown you in class, all of this coming from an angry environment. Others had darker patterns, or red flower patterns when the emotions they fed upon were love and care, some even had blue flower patterns if their owners were the dreamy type. 

Despite how interesting it was to learn about mandragora snakes, so far nothing had been too helpful, and you deemed your routine to be just fine. In the mornings, you’d feed Rivers pieces of mandragora roots, then talk to it, pet it, let it wander around the room… 

Come to think of it, since the day you had stopped biting back at Orter’s snarky remarks, he had only been very supportive and helpful. Was he just that nice? It did change pretty much everything you thought about him. When you glanced at his figure, he was just meticulously taking notes, really pouring his efforts into it. 

Your hand reached for the snacks, and you realised the pack was empty. At the sight of this, your stomach growled in protest and your face turned red from shame. Orter turned to face you and raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to go to the cafeteria?”

You shyly nodded and he adjusted his tie before standing up and retrieving the books. “Alright, let us go, then. I think we have enough material now anyway.” Another nod of your head and you stood up, then felt like you were weighed down. 

“Did… did Rivers grow again? I feel like it’s getting heavier…” You muttered as you looked at the snake inside your scarf; it looked clueless. Of course it did, but it also looked a bit bigger than it was in the morning. “Look at you, you’re an even bigger baby now.” You cooed at the snake and it rubbed its head against your chin, making you giggle.

“I’ll measure it when we get back to our room, then.” He said and hearing him use the word our, for our room was doing… something to you. You dismissed the unusual emotion and stood up once more, carrying RIvers inside your scarf and with Orter’s hand hovering near your back to guide you.

The cafeteria was empty except for a few students who lingered after their lunch break, stalking the cook’s schedule to try and snipe one additional piece of dessert from the shelves. You were about to grab the chair you wanted to sit in, but Orter was faster than you and pulled it back so you could sit. 

“What do you want? I’ll bring it here.” 

Why was he being so… gentlemanly? You couldn’t say anything for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape as he looked at you with a slightly worried look. You let out an embarrassed chuckle and looked away from him, directly towards the tabletop. “Uhh… I’ll just have a bowl of rice, please…?”

“That’s it? A bowl of rice?” He raised his eyebrows at your answer, crossing his arms. “You need more nutrients than that, you’re clearly tired, you—” but he interrupted himself at the sight of your embarrassed expression. Not wanting to bother you any further with his concerns, he sighed and gave a nod. “Right. A bowl of rice it is, then.”

The way he was now trying to take care of your health was really endearing. Had he always been like this, you would’ve probably… 

Rivers squirmed a little inside your scarf, interrupting this thought that was making your heartbeat a little faster than you liked, and you gently rubbed the snake’s neck with your index finger. “Ah, again, huh? I’m sorry baby.” you muttered, looking at the snake. In fact, you had helped Rivers hatch, and taken care of it until now, so it technically was your baby… and Orter’s.

The thought got your face heat up at maximum level, and you had to press your lips together as you felt your cheeks contort into this uncomfortable blushing smile, the air blocked in your throat and your lungs begging for you to exhale, but you couldn’t, lest you’d just squeal in timidity. 

He put the bowl of rice down in front of you, making you jump in surprise a little, and mutter a quick “thank you” before digging in. It felt amazing to finally absorb some actual food other than snacks and sweets. You eyed Orter’s plate for a bit.

“Do you perhaps want some?” He asked, and you looked up at him, shaking your head.

“Oh, no, no! I was just wondering if Rivers would like that. You know, since it eats mandragora roots…”

As if to test out that theory, Orter grabbed a piece of carrot and presented it to Rivers, who immediately flicked its tongue towards that new piece of food it was being introduced to. It chomped on the piece of carrot and swallowed it. “It seems to like vegetables in general, then.” Orter remarked, again with a faint smile.

You thanked the gods that he didn’t notice your expression, staring at his lips like they were a work of art, your heart gradually beating faster and faster, weakening you to no end as you hadn’t recovered from last week yet. 

With both of your dishes empty, Orter brought them back to the kitchen and both of you left the cafeteria to get back to the dorm room. Your steps were a little shaky and Orter noticed that; he walked a little closer to you so he would be able to catch you in case you fell. Upon feeling the way his hand hovered against your backside once more, your heart sped up yet again.

You did manage to walk to the door and open it, but your legs were trembling a little and he just knew you were about to fall. His arms gently supported your weight around your waist, closing the door behind him and walking you towards your bed. It was a bit embarrassing, but you couldn’t deny how nice it felt to have his arms wrapped around you.

He helped you sit, seating himself next to you and still holding your waist. “Are you feeling alright, (Y/N)?” But his question fell on deaf ears as the comfort his embrace brought you automatically made your body and brain shut down. Your head rested on his shoulder and he sat there for a while, a bit muzzy as he looked at your resting figure against his body. 

He would’ve been very nervous if you were awake, but it was fine right now. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arm further around your waist, tightening his hold just a little bit as you slept calmly, Rivers doing the same inside of your scarf. It took all of his willpower not to laugh out loud at how cute the two of you were, his fingers gently caressing your face, moving your hair away from your cheeks. 

You exhaled quietly and nuzzled his shoulder and the side of his neck, and suddenly he couldn���t let go anymore. His heart was beating like crazy and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Suddenly, he felt the urge to keep you as close as he could. Suddenly, you were the remedy to his ills. Suddenly… he understood what this feeling was exactly.

His head was now resting against yours as his free hand was on your face, his thumb softly rubbing circles against your cheekbones. You seemed to appreciate the gesture, turning around just a little bit to face him, unconsciously wrapping your arms around his waist as well, making him think he was about to suffocate from the amount of affection he now felt towards you.

How could he reason now? The only barrier between him and his urges was the thought of rejection, but now you were holding him. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes and kissing the top of your head. He rested his back against the wall, sitting in your bed with you by his side, holding him, and nothing else mattered anymore.

Rivers was comfortably tucked in the cotton inside your scarf, sleeping soundly, and you were comfortably positioned with your head against his shoulder, arms wrapped securely around him and not letting go. He grabbed his book from the nightstand and opened it, reading with his free arm around you, holding you close.

However, this position was extremely comfortable, which led him to fall asleep, his hand holding the book now laying limp against his legs while still holding you. 

A few hours into the night, you woke up from Rivers’ slight movements inside your scarf. Your eyes fluttered open and you were immediately met with a pleasant smell; Orter’s. It barely took you a second to understand what kind of position the two of you were in, but this time there was no such thing as embarrassment. 

You simply reached for his glasses, taking them off and folding them delicately onto the nightstand, before you felt him slightly toss at your movements and, without warning, he completely laid down and pulled you against him, tightly holding you in his arms. Only then were you embarrassed.

What would the best approach be when both of you would wake up? Should you just go with the flow, or pretend you didn’t notice what happened? No, no. This would be Orter’s choice. If he decided to keep holding you while both of you were awake, you would gladly accept it. But then if he decided to pretend nothing happened, you’d oblige as well. 

But you didn’t concern yourself with any of this any further and simply didn’t resist his pull, letting him hold you close to him, with Rivers between the two of you, truly an adorable picture, you thought. It felt comforting and soothing, and you had no trouble falling back asleep even though you weren’t really that tired anymore.

…

As soon as Orter woke up, he had the reflex to pull you closer to him and move your hair away from your face before he realised what he was doing. He slowly pulled away, reluctantly leaving your embrace. Maybe, just maybe you hadn’t noticed any of this and he would be able to play dumb. 

He puts his glasses back on, not remembering when he took them off… but it didn’t matter. He simply sat on the opposite bed and grabbed his book again, throwing sneaky glances at you to see when you’d wake up.

It took you something like an hour to emerge completely, sitting up on your bed with Rivers partially out of the scarf now. You rubbed your hands against your face and took a deep breath, looking around you. Orter was sitting on his own bed… was that all a dream? No, no. The images from last night were way too vivid for your imagination to have created them. 

Then… was he going to say anything about it? You looked at him and he simply greeted you. “Good morning, (Y/N). How did you sleep?” His tone was still neutral, but it felt a little softer than usual. So he decided to play dumb, huh? Luckily, you were dumber.

“Oh, good morning. I slept like a baby. How’d you sleep?” 

He cleared his throat slightly at your words. Did you… did you know? Were you playing dumb with him? He narrowed his eyes slightly before pushing his glasses up a little. “I slept very well. What do you mean like a baby?”

You chuckled and sighed. “I mean I kept waking up every hour.” You could see his face become livid, and you held your laughter back. “I’m joking. I slept really, really well for some reason, I don’t know.”

“Oh, that is… good to know.” He coughed and felt the urge to divert your attention to something else. “Hey, didn’t… didn’t Rivers grow overnight?” At first it was only this, a mere attempt to make you focus on something else. But as he looked at Rivers, he realised that he was right. It had grown longer and heavier, too. It was now roughly the size of your arm, in both length and girth. 

Just how much was the little one going to grow? And what would the teacher even say? What would Rivers’ colour patterns be? So many questions without an answer, but you were sure it was all going to be fine. Somehow, the idea of having Orter with you through this comforted you into thinking such a thing. 

Somehow.

And you weren’t surprised anymore when, everyday for the following week, you woke up finding Rivers gradually getting bigger and bigger. It was getting heavy, but it was still a really cuddly, friendly creature. It was weird, the way it absorbed emotions.

What was it absorbing to grow so quickly? Orter had a flying suspicion on what it was, but he was going to take this secret to the grave, or so it seemed. You, on the other hand, were clueless. You were now on the sixth day and the little one was not so little anymore. 

Rivers seemed ready to shed and you would soon have to bring it to the teacher so they could reveal its colours. You were quite excited at the thought of discovering the beautiful patterns on its scales, and also the other students’ snakes. How did they all turn out, in the end? Would you also be allowed to keep Rivers?

…

It was still early in the evening and you were laying in bed. Orter was sitting on the chair by the nightstand, holding the snake and looking at it, rubbing its neck and patting its head. It was quite a cute display, really, and he was faintly smiling as well…

You shook your head slightly, dismissing these intrusive thoughts that started slithering into your mind, and decided to focus on the snake. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't guess what patterns it had, and you were getting pretty impatient.

Orter stood up from the chair and settled himself in his bed, back against the wall  with Rivers resting against his chest, one of his hands kind of resting against it as if holding it close to him. He grabbed his book and started reading, sometimes glancing at the snake and mumbling incomprehensible things to it. 

You decide to get out of your bed and sit on the edge of his to pet Rivers, and he immediately lowers his book and puts it away. “I don’t know if it was supposed to grow that much?” You wonder, out loud. “The ones we saw were… well, much smaller, right?”

Orter looks at the snake and boops its head. “Mmm.” He hums softly before raising an eyebrow and chuckling quietly. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a big baby. Aren’t you, Rivers?”

You looked away from him immediately, hearing him speak to the snake in such a calm, tender tone was too much for your heart to handle and you were about to explode in a loud screech at how utterly adorable that was, and how you didn’t expect this. This cold looking, straight-faced man had been acting so tenderly these last few days, you didn’t even know if he was the guy you had been paired up with anymore.

You wanted to ask why he changed so much and what happened, but would he not take offence? Still avoiding his eyes, you thought of a way to ask him.

“You sure grew softer these last few days, Orter.” Your tone wasn’t aggressive nor mocking, and was accompanied with a faint, gentle smile so he wouldn’t think you’re criticising him. And it didn’t seem to bother him at all, his eyes travelled from the snake to your own, looking like he was forcing himself to look cold and distant.

“Did I, now?”

“Definitely. It’s… strange.” You trailed off, then realised he could take it in a bad way. “I mean— not bad. It’s different. It’s… unexpected? I um…” You were stuttering now and panicking slightly, not wanting to upset him or anything. “I think it’s very—” lovely? Or perhaps likeable? Both options could make it seem like you were confessing, really.

“I know you mean it in a good way, you don’t have to torture yourself like this.” 

You exhaled in relief at his understanding and looked out the window. You knew that tomorrow, this lovely little assignment would be over, and it made you feel a little bitter. The thought of having to let go of this little routine you had quickly gotten used to was filling you with emptiness, ironically. 

Only two things were certain in your mind right now: you wanted to keep both of them. How did a cold jerk and a snake become that important to you in such a short amount of time?

Your eyes travelled to Orter’s face again, taking in this gentle expression of his, and now it was starting to make sense. The reason why you couldn't take your eyes off him, why your heart was going crazy at every single touch of his hand.

You had fallen for this guy. Hard.

The thought made you blush slightly, and he pretended not to notice. Did he even like you… back? Did he simply put his rude, cold personality on hold just for the assignment? Was his old self going to resurface then? Was it really the end of these good times? If you could keep Rivers, maybe Orter would stay, too? 

You were spiralling into overthinking once again, and didn’t notice his golden eyes on yours while you were simply staring off. He didn’t say anything and merely looked at your troubled expression, slightly amused. It had become a little game of his own now, trying to guess whatever was going through your mind when you stared off like this.

“You should probably sleep, you look pretty tired.” Orter said, in a very gentle tone you had grown accustomed to, maybe a bit too much. But sleeping was a bit like time travelling; you close your eyes and suddenly wake up a little later into the future. You didn’t want that, you wanted this moment to last for as long as it could.

“Absolutely not.” You muttered, and for a second, your tone had him slightly worried, but he wasn’t going to question it. He simply grabbed Rivers and came sitting next to you to let you hold it. For a split second, the thought of asking him to hold you while you two were sitting and looking at the snake crossed your mind; you didn’t. You couldn’t. 

The very simple feeling of sitting next to him, his leg and arm against yours, was intoxicating enough, but it wasn’t enough, so to speak. It was getting later and later and you just wanted to hold on to this moment, you were unspeakably exhausted but you couldn’t let go. Your entire personality (and his) had shifted in only a fortnight and you weren’t sure how you managed to live like this before. 

Orter’s mind, on the other hand, wasn’t going through angst the way yours was. He could only tell you were very agitated, and as dense as he was, thought that maybe, just earlier, you weren’t staring at him for no reason. He knew you were falling asleep already but kept holding on to awakeness, and it somehow felt really cute to him.

“I’m not going anywhere, you know?”

That sigh you didn’t know you were holding finally came out, and as if his words were a lullaby, you started falling asleep again, sitting next to him, not caring about your head that threatened to fall limp against his shoulder anymore. With this, you just… let go.

The noise of your front door closing brought you out of your trip down to memory lane. Everything in there was so vivid you could’ve sworn it happened yesterday, or the week prior. You closed your diary and walked towards the vivarium in your room, taking Rivers out of it and carrying it over your shoulders as you walked downstairs. 

Grocery bags all over the kitchen floor, he went all out this time, you thought, but at least there was enough material to make some really good dinner. 

“I’ve been reading the diary I was keeping during our graduate years.” You chuckled and held Rivers up, another pair of hands catching it and letting it slither around these arms. “It’s crazy, isn’t it? That was so long ago, but I can remember it all very clearly.”

“Mm, no wonder, it’s the same for me.” Orter said as he ran his fingers against Rivers’ beautiful red, flowery patterns. With a very slight smile on his lips, only for you, he simply took off his coat and hung it in the entrance before wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a quick kiss on your lips, as usual. 

“There’s so much stuff, I don’t even know what I could cook with all of this.” You muttered, resting your head against his chest, and he merely chuckled once more and kissed the top of your head.

“Let’s just eat outside tonight, darling.”

Maybe group assignments aren’t always the worst. 

..........................................................

taglist: @babyorphanstastegood @squishychongyun

[runninriot]

written for @steddieangstyaugust day 10

Maybe

prompt: "Where were you?" | wc: 2180 | rated: M | cw: cheating | tags: established relationship, lovers to exes, heartbreak, break up, open ending with a tiny flicker of hope | also on ao3

When he hears the front door open, Steve turns to risk a glance at the clock on his bedside table, red numbers glowing too bright in the darkness of the room.

It’s way past midnight, too late for Eddie to come back from the meeting he was supposed to be caught up at.

    ‘I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be home late again. Don’t wait up for me.’

Eddie had called him to let him know he wouldn’t make it home in time for dinner – the third time in two weeks – said each time he’d make it up to him. That he would take Steve out to this one fancy restaurant where they celebrated their fifth anniversary two years ago, hasn’t made true to his promise yet.

Eddie’s been so distant lately, kind of stressed and on edge, acting weird around Steve.

It's like something has changed between them. Something just doesn’t feel right.

Steve misses Eddie’s closeness. Misses being scooped up in strong arms like Eddie used to do whenever he came home from work. Misses the kisses, the hugs, the cuddles, the ‘I love you’s. He misses the sex, the way Eddie used to be obsessed with him. How he worshipped him.

It all didn’t stop over night, they’ve been in a rut for months now.

And maybe that’s normal.

Maybe 7 years of being together have finally taken their toll on things like passion and desire. Maybe waking up to the same face every day does that, makes your love life dull or rather non-existent.

Maybe it’s Steve’s fault for letting himself go a little. For having gotten too comfortable in the mundanity of their day to day life. He’s gained a bit of weight over the years, hasn’t been to the gym or on a morning run in ages. He prefers to wear comfortable sweaters instead of skin-tight shirts, wears his hair shorter now because he couldn’t be bothered anymore to style it every day to keep it out of his face.

Steve hasn’t tried to spice things up like he used to in the beginning of their relationship, when they could barely keep their hands off each other and spent whole weekends in bed fucking, making out, forgetting the world around them.

Maybe it’s all Steve’s fault.

Maybe he is the reason why, for the third time in two weeks, Eddie comes home past midnight, careful not to wake Steve when he slides into bed, reeking of alcohol and cheap perfume that isn’t his.

That’s why he doesn’t notice that Steve is awake, can’t even be bothered to kiss him goodnight like he used to do.

That’s why he lies.

Lies about meetings and business dinners, uses them as weak alibis to hide where he’s truly been.

   “Where were you?” Steve turns around facing Eddie’s back.

He knows Eddie isn’t asleep yet, knows he heard him, so he counts the seconds until finally, Eddie turns to look at him.

   “Didn’t know you’re awake.”

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

He could leave it at that. Could press a stiff kiss on his partner’s lips that the other man wouldn’t return and pretend that everything’s fine.

Could just keep pretending that he doesn’t know that his boyfriend is cheating on him.

   “I asked you a question, Eddie. Where were you?”

Eddie huffs, seems angry and Steve can’t believe how unfair this is. If anything, Steve should be the one that’s angry. He should be furious. But instead, he’s doing his best to hold back the tears that threaten to spill.

   “I told you, babe. I got caught up in this meeting and then the guys wanted to go for a few drinks after, that’s all.”

Steve almost believes him. Wants to believe that he’s telling the truth but he can feel in his heart that it’s a lie.

   “Do you still love me?”

It’s a question that has been burning inside him for a while now. Slowly eating away at his sanity because- what if not? What if Eddie fell in love with someone else? What if he met someone who can give him what Steve can’t? Someone younger, prettier, and more successful than him. Someone Steve can’t compete with because-

What does he have to offer, really, except his undying love?

The bedside lamp flickers to life and Eddie sits up so suddenly, that it startles Steve.

   “Steve, where is this coming from? You know I do!”

   “Can’t even say it,” Steve mumbles to himself as he pushes himself up to sit.

   “What?” Eddie asks, looking annoyed and confused.

   “I said. You can’t even say it!” Steve nearly shouts the words, doesn’t care how much his voice trembles, doesn’t care that Eddie can see the tears now running down his face.

He’s been keeping this in for too long; he can’t do it anymore. He can’t keep up the charade of them being this happy, loving couple when it’s so clear that they’re not anymore.

When he finally realises that everything has slowly been breaking apart under his disbelieving eyes – he could’ve put a stop to it before it was too late but instead, he chose to ignore it. Chose to believe in the lies he told himself, lies he wanted to believe because the truth seemed too unbearable.

Eddie tries to take his hand but Steve pulls away, wraps his arms around himself for what little comfort it gives.

   “Baby, please-“

   “Do not call me that. You have no right to call me that.”

Eddie sighs, rubbing his hands across his face and when he looks back up at Steve, he can see the truth he’s been dreading all this time in the other man’s eyes.

   “You’re right, I’m not. Steve, I- I am, fuck. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for it to happen. I- I don’t even know why I did it.”

The confession slices through Steve’s heart like a knife, tears him apart from the inside out. He can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t believe that his worst nightmare is now bitter reality.

But it is; Eddie just admitted to it. Doesn’t even try to lie his way out of it this time.

   “Do you love them?”

Steve doesn’t know why he’s asking. Does he really want to know the answer?

Maybe he needs it. Maybe he needs to hear Eddie say it out loud to make it real. To make him believe that it is.

   “No! I only love you.”

Steve scoffs, feels sick.

   “You’ve got a hell of a way showing that.”

   “I know! I know I’ve made a mistake but please believe me. I love you, Steve! Only you! I fucked up, I know that. But-“

No.

No, this isn’t right.

   “But what, Eddie? Fuck you! You cheated on me! You haven’t even kissed me in weeks but you went out there and fucked someone else?”

Steve’s voice cracks as he breaks down sobbing, hiding his face in his own hands.

This is it. It’s over.

Seven years of building a life together, of creating a beautiful home, seven years of happiness thrown away.

Just like that.

   “Stevie, baby,” Eddie’s voice is suddenly so much closer and before Steve can register what happens, he’s wrapped up in Eddie’s arms, pulling him against his chest.

He hates how good it feels. How his body sinks into the embrace out of sheer instinct. How he lets himself be held because that’s what he knows. For years, Eddie has been his anchor, his whole goddamn world. And although he knows he should fight it, he can’t help but sling his arms around the man he loves. Still, even after what he did.

   “I’m so, so sorry, Steve. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you, baby. I love with all my heart and I know I’ve fucked up big time. It wasn’t even- I didn’t-“

Steve can hear in his voice that he’s crying, too. But he can’t bring himself to look up, can barely focus on his own grieving heart and the muffled sound of Eddie’s voice.

   “I was drunk when it happened the first time and I know that’s no excuse. I know that! And it doesn’t justify that I went back. That I- that I hurt you. You deserve better, Stevie. You deserve the whole fucking world and I-“

   “I only wanted you, Eddie. That’s all I needed.”

Finally, Steve finds the strength to peel himself out of Eddie’s arms.

   “Why? Why did you do it? Am I not enough for you?”

Eddie takes a staggering breath and it pains Steve to see him like that – hurt and defeated, regret written all over his tear-streaked face.

It hurts so fucking much because all he ever wanted was to make Eddie happy.

But he failed. He failed to love Eddie the way he needs to be loved or else he wouldn’t have had searched for pleasure somewhere else, right?

   “You are everything, Steve. This is my fault, not yours. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Somehow, that makes it even worse.

   “I was stupid. So fucking stupid. And I’ll do everything I can to make it right.”

One month later

Breaking up with Eddie had been the hardest decision he’s ever had to make. But Steve knew if he stayed, he’d only hurt himself. That he’d give himself up trying to mend what’s been broken, that he’d drown in self-doubts and misery trying to pretend that everything could be right again.

And maybe Eddie knew it, too, deep down.

It’s not like Eddie didn’t put up a fight, he did. Tried to talk Steve into staying, begged on his knees for another chance. But eventually, he let him go. Gave him one last kiss goodbye, one last hug, one more moment of familiarity before Steve’s world changed and everything he’d known for seven years suddenly turned into a scary, unknown future he’d have to face on his own.

It still hurts. Especially when Steve comes home to an empty apartment after work, knowing that no one will be there to fall asleep next to at night. This is probably the hardest part of it all, lying in an empty bed without the comfort of Eddie’s body to cuddle up next to.

But it’s for the best.

He knows it is, even if he still wishes Eddie was there, here, with him.

Steve manages, gets by. He found a nice little apartment, tries to keep himself distracted with work, has picked up on hobbies he’d given up years ago.

Life is... okay. Not good. Not how it used to be because there’s always something missing.

There’s always this void, this empty space where Eddie used to be. On quiet Sunday mornings when the smell of coffee fills the kitchen but Steve’s mug is the only one on the table. Or when their favourite songs play on the radio and Steve’s voice is the only one singing along.

It’s lonely without Eddie.

Lonely without the man that still, after everything, is the one that holds his heart.

When Steve comes home after work, two bags of groceries in one hand, fumbling for the key with his other, he’s stopped in his tracks at the sight that greets him in front of his apartment door.

There’s a bouquet of flowers waiting for him. Pink peonies and yellow roses – and it shouldn’t surprise him anymore because it’s been like this for every single day for three weeks but it still makes him smile like it’s the first time.

Steve drops the bags to pick up the flowers and look for the card he knows is there.

    Hope you had a good day.

    I love you.

    E.

The messages vary but it always ends with the words Steve so desperately wanted to hear him say before their world broke apart. And although Steve hasn’t forgotten what he did, he appreciates Eddie’s stubbornness. His willingness to try.

These sweet little gestures are as heart-warming as they are painful. Because it reminds Steve every day of how much he misses him. Misses Eddie’s laughter and his hugs, his kisses and the warmth of his eyes. Misses the sound of Eddie’s voice when he called him baby, despite everything.

Because he loves him.

Still.

And it makes him wonder if maybe, when the time is right and the pain has soothed enough to talk about it, maybe they can dare to work it out?

Start from the beginning, on Steve’s terms.

Give their love a second chance because-

No matter how stupid it sounds, his heart tells him it’s worth another try.

Because people make mistakes, it’s in their nature to fuck up. And sure, some mistakes cannot be forgiven.

But maybe, in this case, it’s not about forgiveness. Maybe it’s more about healing and finding a way to look past what happened – not to forget, but to take it as a chance to do better.

Because maybe, a love that runs so deep, that lives in every cell of Steve’s body, deserves a second chance.

[yayll]

Could you maybe write smth up. About literally spoiling Dazai. Because i want to sit him down on the couch and kiss his pretty fucking face and buy him everything he even glances at.!! Hold his hand on walks, take him to like roooftops to stargaze and stuff and just stare at his PRETTY AHH FACE instead. Kiss his forehead goodnight!!! Cook him stuff and cuddle him and kiss him (again)!!!!....

Im lonely and past the point of no return sorry shdkhdkfjf

HIIII there, angel! i'm so sorry this took me a bit, but umm... i kind of went insane with this concept i read your ask and i immediately just blacked out because oh do i feel the same way about this god forsaken man.. and HEAVY on the spoiling. ahh, i hope it's to your liking, and i hope it makes u feel less lonely :') it was such a pleasure to write my first request xx

~ a little something about cherishing Dazai on days he needs it the most ~

Spoiling Dazai. Now there's something you can proudly admit to being happily guilty of. You couldn't count the times you've held him for hours after a terrible day at work, or made sure he had more than just canned crab and a few bottles of Sake. You'd do anything for him to be comfortable in his own skin, and you want to make sure he knows how much you adore him... that he knows he's allowed to take up space in the world too. You're also aware that he would rather die than to ever elaborate on the vague and dismissive little comments he makes about the debilitating weight of all of his past mistakes, the ones that make him resentful and tired when it really gets to him, but that never deters you.

You've put the pieces together long enough to understand that it's not easy being Osamu Dazai, no matter what silly mask he puts on for the world. He hasn't always been a good person, an exemplary man, and you're more than well aware of that. Still, he doesn't have to be the jester who's always entertaining the masses at his own expense.

You remind him that he isn't cursed forever, that he IS worthy of flesh and blood, and when you kiss him it's like you're absolving him of all sins... you make him new again. He is utterly bewitched by you and you feel it in the way he comes up behind you and rests his chin on your shoulder, squeezing your waist just enough to let you know your warmth is the reason his own blood circulates. Or when he whispers the most silliest and unhinged things in your ear late at night so you'll curl up those precious lips into a smile... Just for him. He gets off on the happiness he gives you, simple as that. He already feels he doesn't deserve to hold on to such a good life, but he's nothing if not defiant, and he'll squeeze out every little bit of love within that void of a heart for as long as you'll have him.

But... Today is your turn to love him so much it actually hurts, It's what he gets for being a menace 24/7! That is why you chose to make sure he has an extra special day today, by bringing him out of his comfort zone with a... mystery date!

"Oh? And to what do I owe the pleasure of being courted by such a beautiful creature such as yourself on this fine day?"

Dazai sips on his tea, eyes narrowing as they peer at you from the teacup curiously. You flash him a cheeky grin, already plotting your mission to make him so flustered he can't even look at you later.

"I thought we could go out somewhere and spend some time outside... Since we've both been so busy lately. Wouldn't that be nice?"

He raises a brow, and gives you a knowing smile back. Dazai's freakishly omnipotent in that way, and it's one of the many reasons you can never truly know if your surprises land or not.

"Mmm, it could be. Where to, my love?"

"... It's a secret."

He then pretends something has hit his chest, and he grips it, dramatically throwing himself back onto the chair causing his tea to flop about in the teacup.

"Oh my, is today the day you finally take me out and end it all?! I don't know if I can take the deceit, the absolute betrayal... What an occasion-"

You cut him off with your index finger as you place it right on his lips, zipped tight and his eyes burn into you, waiting for your next words. He eats this shit up.

"Shush! Let's go."

And with that, you grab your coats and zoom out and into the day. It's one of those days where It's cloudy, but the sun still peaks out just enough to send down warm rays of light. As you walk hand in hand, you see the way those very rays hit Dazai's side profile in the most devastating way.

You want to take a photo but you don't want to ruin the moment, so you quickly tip toe and peck him on the cheek, causing him to abruptly stop in his tracks. He blinks for a few seconds, still facing forward, and you swear you can see the highs of his cheeks turn red. You end up tugging him to follow you to the park, smiling to yourself in triumph as he recovers.

You walk to a quiet part, and plop yourselves down next to each other on the soft grass. Still holding hands, you rub your thumb in circles over his bandaged fingers, silently looking up at the cloudy sky. Finally, Dazai is the one to break the silence.

"Love used to always be an empty four letter word to me, but you..."

He pauses for a moment, swallowing hard as he tries to feign composure.

"... You are, by far, my greatest love, and my most beloved weakness altogether."

You were supposed to be the one to sweep him off his feet today, now your vision is blurry and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. You slowly sit up, and look down at him, noticing that his eyes are closed. He looks like a sleeping beauty. Your chest aches, and you wonder if this is the same type of ache he lives with on the daily. You murmur, studying the way his messy bangs frame his face, and his expression unreadable.

"That's not fair, Osamu..."

"You sound so pretty when you say it like that... Osamu."

You swallow hard, and curse him in your mind for being the man that he is. For being all you've ever yearned for. You look down at your watch, and check the time, heart beating wildly.

Thump, Thump, Thump.

"... It's fifteen till 5."

"Mm, why does that matter?" Dazai purrs as he squeezes your hand, eyes still closed.

"It always matters. Any time with you matters. You matter, Osamu."

You spend the rest of the evening nuzzled into one another, whispering secrets and trying to name constellations and giggling when you can't figure them out. He lets you kiss him silly, his eyes closed the entire time while you also toy with his hair and the nape of his neck; where you smooth over the soft fabric of his bandages and his skin, giving him goosebumps. Your touch is a sensory heaven. He's dreaming of you while awake. You'll always wake him up from the nightmares, from what cannot be undone.

When it gets too cold to stay out, you head back home and cook him whatever he asks for as he rests his chin on his palm, gazing at you with those unreadable dark eyes... always thinking too much. Always somewhere else. This time, however, you could tell he was present. He would eat sewage if you poured it for him with that loving manner of yours. You finally crawl into bed together, and Dazai cradles your face in between his hands, facing you. He mumbles, so soft.. so tender. It's a tone only you get to hear.

"It really is selfish of me to think I can have this and more."

"Desire isn't bad, Osamu."

"Mm, no, I suppose not. But it's not always wise to have desire, not for someone like me. I can't afford that."

You hear the genuine ache in his voice, and you lean in to kiss his forehead, a gentle kiss that stays planted for a few seconds before you pull back.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing, love?~" He whispers, his voice a little strained as he looks at you with those eyes, those beautiful and endless orbs of cosmic proportions that are going to consume you one day. Hopefully.

"I think so. I'm being selfish."

You smile faintly, and you proceed to make sure that you end the night the way he deserves, the way you wanted to spoil him.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy pride!!

Fem MXY WWX pls!!!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41

They're back to riding, only a couple hours away from Jin Tower, and Wei Wuxian is happy to be off his feet, but he can't even focus on that.

He's too busy feeling desperately sad for Mo Xuanyu.

She lived as a pauper in a family that despised her, had a father that ignored her, was so lonely that she named her sword Friend, and killed herself rather than marry Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan would have been nice to her. It took him a while to warm up, but he's trying now, to do his duty as a proper husband. Which is inconvenient for Wei Wuxian, but probably would have meant the world to Mo Xuanyu.

She didn't have to die. If she'd been able to hold onto hope for just a few more days, instead of giving in to revenge and despair, then she could have lived out her life out from underneath the thumb of other people.

"Are you okay?"

He startles out of his thoughts, looking up to see Sizhui has pulled his mare up beside his and is peering at him in concern.

He forces a smile, because he's put Sizhui through enough today, and he's a good boy that doesn't deserve to be involved in any of this. The worst part about dying again is going to be leaving behind Sizhui. He's such a sweet boy who loves him so easily and he just knows that it's going to break his heart when either the cultivation or the curse mark has run its course. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just thinking."

Sizhui looks unconvinced, but nods before looking up towards the front of the procession, where Lan Xichen and Lan Zhan are talking about something while Jin Guangyao pretends to be interested. He reaches into his sleeve. "I found some of these in town when I went looking for you."

He pulls out a small bag of the sweet, spicy pepper candy that Wei Wuxian likes so much and hold it out.

"You're the best!" he says, taking the bag and also pausing to squeeze his arm in thanks, only not pulling him into a hug because he's not sure how tolerant the horses will be about it.

The food in Cloud Recesses is ass and he can't cover everything with chilli oil because the only person he'd met who liked food as spicy as he did was - well, no one. So having Mo Xuanyu like spicy food had seemed like edging a little too close to obvious.

He'd been so happy when Sizhui had brought pepper candy back for him for the first time and had sworn him to secrecy to how how much he loved them.

Wei Wuxian pops one of the candies in his mouth, sucking on it to more quickly get to the firey pops of pepper, which is his favorite.

There's about five seconds of deliciousness and then his stomach rolls with nausea. He tightens his grip, trying to ride it out, but the taste of the candy he loved turns sour and he's seriously worried he's going to hurl, which Lan Zhan would never let him hear the end of.

He spits the candy out onto the ground, rubbing at his mouth.

"Lady Xuanyu?" Sizhui asks startled. "Is - sorry, did I get the wrong one?"

"No, no, it's perfect," he assures, internally sighing in relief as his stomach starts to settle. "I guess I shouldn't eat them on an empty stomach! It ruins the flavor. Who knew?"

He's eaten them on an empty stomach a dozen times before and never had an issue.

"Okay," Sizhui says slowly. 'Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, Sizhui, don't worry," he says, and means it, even though he sort of wants to cry.

The pepper candies were one of the only things he could get his hands on that he enjoyed eating, and now even that's gone?

At least the Jin go all out on the banquets.