#and yeah we write for ourselves but we also write for people to engage with it lmao

[moononastring]

when are we gonna get the next smtb chapter?

I'm feeling unmotivated so I'm unsure.

[dollypopup]

interesting that people are still saying that they need to see Colin humbled and criticizing him for being 'smug' in the first views we have of Season 3

almost like. . .they don't actually understand his character

almost like. . .they don't want to

Colin is a character who is consumed externally. Through other people's eyes. Through Marina's and Penelope's and Anthony's viewpoints, through the ton's viewpoint. And that makes him a character you have to dig into and *actively* consider his POV in order to properly grasp the extent of him, since he has been largely denied that POV by the narrative. And when you do that, when you consider his perspective, you realize that the 'smug' veneer people are criticizing? Yeah, that's not actually Colin. It is the view of him. It's the persona he wears. That he shows us. That we consume without question.

Because we? We are the ton. We are who Colin criticizes as only seeing him as an empty charmer. As a smug flirt. As a man with no substance.

Colin is *already* humbled, and his suave exterior is the protection of such, the armor to shield him from society, because when he didn't have it? He was hurt.

Colin loses his father at 12 years old. Colin is sent off to boarding school away from his family almost immediately after Edmund dies. Colin grieves alone. Colin is made fun of by his older brother. Colin is teased for being a virgin, for being earnest, for being a romantic. Colin's first foray into love ends with a public blowup of his engagement. Colin is humiliated to his entire community. Colin is depressed in Season 2. Colin tries finding escape in new places and drugs and letters. Colin is hardly even noticed by his own mother. Colin tries talking about his experiences and people roll their eyes at him, so he stops talking about it. Colin writes on his travels a second time and barely gets a response back. Colin is ghosted by his best friend with no explanation. Colin apologizes. Repeatedly. Wholeheartedly. To Penelope. To Will. To Marina. Colin is told off to his face and *accepts it*. Colin is accused of being a foolish boy caught up in fantasies and bows his head and says 'very well'. Colin is informed that he hurt Penelope and called cruel and immediately apologizes. Takes accountability for what he said with no excuses, praises her, and offers to help her achieve her goals.

When Colin says that charm can be taught, he speaks from experience. He was a sad, lonely young man in Season 2, he is playing a role in Season 3. That's the whole point. Colin *is already humble*.

But furthermore. . .so what if he is more confident in Season 3? What did he do exactly that was so horrible that we need him to be knocked down several pegs? When he is already overlooked even in his own family? And the answer is. . .he didn't love Penelope soon enough.

But that's also not true. Colin has loved Penelope more than anyone else, out loud, and unhesitatingly. It hasn't been romantic and sexual, but that doesn't mean he hasn't loved her. Who asks how Penelope is faring? Colin. Who is the only one in the sitting room in Season 1 to bid her a good day? Colin. Who is the one who is praising Penelope for being smart and sharp and witty and funny and warm and clever? Colin. Who is the one writing to her on the off season, keeping her company? Colin. Who is the one who looks to her home, no doubt wondering how she's doing? Colin.

This fandom has a grudge against him for increasingly infuriating reasons. This is the season he falls in love, and the grand majority of people don't want to understand him, his motivations or characterization. Going so far as to immediately think he's ignoring Penelope in the first 5 minute clip, when she is hiding in the bushes. When the entire family walked down the stairs and didn't notice her right in front of them. We will bend ourselves into pretzels to justify hating on him or insulting him or wanting to see him ground to nothing, and yet accept the most surface level reading of him possible. You can't do that with a character like Colin. His conflict is internal, and the narrative has not given us much glimpse of it. Regardless of whether or not it has gotten overt screentime, Colin is a complex, deep character.

We, however, are a shallow audience.

We are the ton.

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly, real talk, I feel like people largely do not understand just how much characters within those who are maladaptive daydreamers and/or were maladaptive daydreamers literally are "parts of them" and how both healing and destructive that dynamic can be and I find that a bit visible with how people in DID communities talk about maladaptive daydreaming as a "form of plurality"

Its an absolutely different experience but that doesn't mean that the label of "plural" isn't equally suitable. Since that topic has come up on our radar like way back half a year or year ago, we honestly have been thinking about it as someone who is considered "recovered" from DID and has recovered from maladaptive daydreaming but still has a brain that functions creativity and imaginative worlds with the same semi-autonomous functions whether I like it or not

And honestly? My characters are very much not "my creation", nor are they "just my OCs" - the very way all of my character are made and at this point the only way I know how to write and make characters is by taking a part or aspect of myself (conscious or subconscious) and throwing it out there with a name and face. That part of myself engages with the world I created and develops within the narrative and impacts the world itself.

I repeat and do this for all my characters and the world that I have created serves as a hypothetical exploratory way to understand, engage with, and explore very complex topics with exaggerated and isolated parts of myself. I have never really "planned" a character of given them traits or really anything other than a basic premise of a name, MAYBE a gender, and a vague role and I let them define their own story. No real character arc planning. No real likes and dislikes. No real narrative or secret message.

The function and means of which that I "created" these OCs and the level of which I don't control the way they form and grow is extremely similar to how I "create" alters, albeit one is far more voluntary and intentional than the other and one is physically sharing my life with me and the other is sharing a mental world with me.

((Additionally I don't engage in the mental world I made for them beyond the half joke that I'm the god of the gods of that world and they dont know))

The dynamics I have with my characters is WAY WAY WAY different than my parts / alters but BOTH my characters (maladaptive daydreaming) and my alters (DID) are equally fair to call "parts of me" and "parts of a whole" in a very literal not "Oh yeah Im a writer and this character means a lot to me theyre a part of me"

With my writing partner (who does this as well) we regularly use our characters as well to explain what we are going through / how we are feeling to help facilitate real talk and venting a lot because we have a mutual understanding that while this is a story and these are our characters, both of us have "built" this world by literally giving very specific aspects of ourselves the ability to explore, grow, and learn in a world and that while some have grown SO far from who we are now, they represent an aspect and potential part of us that could have been should something have gone one way in a specifically extreme way in a specific environment.

With that in mind, I absolutely feel its fair to compare DID and MaDD "plurality" with some obvious understanding that while there are similarities they are also different (AND THATS OK).

Cause honestly? If I actually talked to my characters (like a lot of people with MaDD tend to do) I could see myself calling and feeling as though they were a system and I don't think it would be all that inaccurate and wrong. I don't have that experience as my MADD and DID are mostly entirely two seperate dissociative coping mechanisms, but I know for a fact the line between the two is a lot less clear and its just food for thought

-----------------

[SYSCOURSE AND DEBATE WILL BE BLOCKED.]

[Good faith conversation and discussion is WELCOMED and ENCOURAGED.]

[If you don't know the difference, don't add on.]

[moonjxsung]

howdy i write (nsfw) skz memberxmember fics and i stumbled upon your post replying to that puritan rpf hater anon a while ago and i just! man! i dont really go here (skzxreader) but i felt such a sense of community seeing that cuz like yeah!! women have been writing fanfic and rpf for years, decades even, and the shame and stigma around it has NEVER faded and us writers are always getting shamed for it!! and to see another writer in this community actually stand up for it and defend us and the history behind it, it was just so refreshing and comforting. especially since no one ever really takes us seriously, even our peers, like we're all just too embarassed and ashamed to defend ourselves and we just take the shame and mocking. like, as if there isn't any value in what we do, just because people think it's weird and shameful. like yes we are exploring love and sex and relationships in the fics we're writing!! and yes its silly and naive to act like we arent being marketed to!! thank you!!

this got soo long once i realized there was no text limit HAHA basically thanks for defending us queen!!!

- @catsinthewater

THIS ‼️‼️ It’s something women have been doing for CENTURIES and have historically been shamed for, people just want us to feel bad about ourselves in every aspect of our lives as a woman and I refuse to let that be me. Most aspects of sex I learned through fanfiction as a result of unrestricted access to the internet at such a young age and it was up to me to decide what was safe and what made me comfortable, and a huge part of why I have such a healthy relationship with my sexuality is because of the authors who introduced it to me in a way that wasn’t some rough visual porn. I’ve always been fascinated with exploring sexuality/kinks/fetishes through a respectful and a literary lens, and I see nothing wrong with utilizing adults you’re marketed to find attractive, to fulfill characters in those plots. Of course I would never disrespect any member of skz in real life and I would never carry it beyond my fictional little blog here, but fantasizing and having sexual attraction is completely normal and human. My blog is for the adults who love reading, share a mutual attraction to skz, love plot-based smut and can engage in open, healthy dialogue about sex and kinks. It’s also a community for us to derive from our fantasies and be able to apply that to real relationships so we can better ourselves. There’s no malicious intent behind any of it, so the shaming is just beyond me. Of COURSE I will defend you guys, we’re all family here and this is a safe space for whenever you need it 👼🫶 thank you for these kind words, sending you all my love !!

[whumpshaped]

hey i’m really sorry if this is dumb but do you ever feel bad about enjoying whump? if so, how do you deal with it? i’m having a hard time with liking it. i love reading it but it occasionally makes me feel like a terrible person

its not dumb! i have some disorders that make it hard for me to feel bad abt stuff just for moral reasons alone, but i do get the terrible feeling sometimes when im afraid others will think im a terrible person lol if that makes any sense- so yeah i get the shame around it. i was lucky enough to be the quirky fun guy anyway so having slightly stranger interests wasnt a big deal for me.

this got very long bc i always have many thoughts on this

let me just start this by saying u totally dont have to feel bad for liking it. at all. everybody tends to like some form of whump, even if they dont call it that. the middle aged christian woman reading her 100th romance novel packed with fucking angst is an avid enjoyer of emotional whump in my book. and the guy who jokes about whump enjoyers being crazy and then turns around and watches marvel movies with blood and beat up heroes in it, well-

humans are just fascinated with pain. physical, emotional, all of it. it's just how we are, i think. we love to explore pain in fantasy, through characters separate from us, while we sit in our room comfortably (controlled danger! like rollercoasters). it can be cathartic. it can be how we find and understand ourselves. it can be comforting to know hey, this character went through something like that, that means the author must have some experience with it. there's at least one other human who gets me.

enjoying/reading/writing whump can be a perfect outlet, like hitting a punching bag repeatedly. it can be how someone digests their own trauma. it can just be a kink thing. it doesn't have to have deep moral things attached to it, sometimes seeing fictional characters hurt just tickles the brain and that's that. it doesn't matter, because it's all fictional, it doesn't hurt anyone. unless your preferred media is like, literal hate speech and propaganda against real life people, (in which case it DOES hurt ppl), there's literally nothing wrong with looking at a character being beaten and going "hey, thats cool".

also i will never not say this but even the fucken bible is straight whump and no one will ever change my mind. i tried to be a good christian and what did i find? whump.

also, there's like... a huge portion of people who read whump for the comfort of it. yes the character goes through shit, yes it's horrible, but guess what, they come out on the other side unquestionably changed but still worthy of recovery. they find peace, they heal, they find friends and family, they're comforted and listened to. that's something a lot of people read whump for. there's a reason it's called hurt/comfort. and there's also a very good post about how so many of us read it because the whumpees' trauma is always acknowledged. maybe not in the story, but we as readers understand that they went through some shit, and thus their trauma is always validated in some way. that can be a comfort as well, in a world where so many people's issues get brushed under the rug and ignored and overlooked and straight up invalidated.

but even if you're not into the comfort aspect (which i wasnt for a long time!!!!! i was strictly here for the hurt!!!!!!) you're not some sort of monster for it. i'd say quite the contrary. i'd say if you regularly engage with media like this, where the character's emotions are laid out so bare, and explored so deeply, you're more in tune with your own emotions too. i couldve punched holes in walls like some people i know (i have anger issues), but instead i grabbed my laptop and wrote about a character being beaten to a pulp. no damage to person or property. done. others read it and enjoyed it, and i even got serotonin from likes and reblogs, which lifted my mood, so that was a whole net positive.

seriously look at the most popular media too. it's whump. always has been. a good friend of mine whos a little weirded out by some of the gore i write is OBSESSED with game of thrones for example. and he recommended it to me because hey i love bloody stuff dont i? and i loved the torture scenes and he loved to hate and be enraged and a little grossed out by them. we enjoyed the series together. neither of us was terrible for it.

all this to say, you're not the odd one out. even if your interests count as more "taboo", like some of mine, unless you go out there and punch someone in the face, youre good in my books. and again, even punching someone in the face can be morally neutral or positive between consenting adults so. HUMANS JUST ENJOY EXPLORING PAIN. THATS MY HOT TAKE FOR TODAY.

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[noddytheornithopod]

I'm aware of this sudden spike of discourse around The Good Doctor, and while I have never seen the show and I think many Autistic people are right to feel uncomfortable about how it portrays them, the way people are treating it with memes and stuff to criticise it bothers me?

Like I'm seeing even Autistic people instead of engaging in thoughtful critique just share memes and mock the character in it. And like, you can say it's "bad acting" or an "inaccurate portrayal", but I still think there's something uncomfortably ableist in how people are acting?

Like, the way people are acting is like when people act like bullying "weird" people or people who don't have friends is fine, but suddenly you find out they're Autistic and then you find out it's all bad to do that now but only because they have that formal label.

That's what this whole Good Doctor thing reminds me of. Thing is, even if it might not be true to you... I know other Autistic people who watch the show and even relate to the character. It might be problematic or not fully authentic, and you have every right to feel that way, but the thing is, not every Autistic person is the same. Some of us DO respond in ways many of us would write off as stereotypical. Some of us DO act in ways that might make us uncomfortable, and are not what we want to think of ourselves as.

Like, it feels a lot like there's a lot of respectability politics going on, deciding what the "right" way to show us is like, which is ironic given we're trying to fight a lot of stereotypes in the first place, which TGD sounds like it does fall into.

I might even go as far as calling it purity politics, in that we're so concerned with how people see us that anything uncomfortable is making people react poorly and lashing out as a result.

I will reiterate, I have not seen the show. I've heard mixed opinions from the friends I've spoken to, their relationship with it is complex. It doesn't sound like something I'd care for, especially with the neurotypical lens it's created through.

But my ultimate point is... no one of us is the same. We're not a monolith. Even if the show does suck hard, some of us might still relate, and they're not bad people because of it. Deciding who is and isn't a "good" Autistic is gatekeeping bullshit we don't need.

So yeah, you don't have to like The Good Doctor. You can hate it. But the way people are mocking it instead of having serious nuanced, empathetic discussions feels just like one step away from giving Allistics permission to mock us.

You can go "oh it's from us so it's fine!" but people still can internalise bigoted beliefs about themselves. Look at the purity politics in queer communities, for example. To act like your actions have no consequences is pure arrogance.

Also, think of how it looks out of context. I know I just whined about respectability politics but seriously... random person making fun of an Autistic character? Even if you make excuses, it still looks shitty, even if your reasons ARE valid.

I'm not defending this show. I do not have interest in doing so. What I'm concerned is that Autistic people have given in to internet toxicity and the need to appear perfect to the point we're willing to throw anyone who doesn't fit the "good" narrative under the bus.

And lastly, if you see me not uncritically mocking the show in a way that would be identical to a neurotypical bully at work or school and think that makes me your enemy, you're exactly who I'm talking about. Take a breath, step back, shut up, and reflect on yourself. You're really going to give into petty infighting over a show that some people have more complex feelings about than just pure hate when there's groups like "Aspie Supremacists" and the "Autistic Dark Web" out there?

You're not making our lives better by putting people who have diverging opinions about a questionable show on twitter or whatever. If you genuinely want better, more nuanced representation (I do too!), start by not putting each other down in the first place.

[genericpuff]

Do you have any advice on being more confident when talking about your own comic? Whenever I bring up/talk about the fact that I make a comic, I always feel super akward and like I'm just annoying the other person lol(also sorry if you already saw this! I sent an ask earlier but I'm not sure if it went through becuase I used a kaomoji at the end and I never got a little message saying that the ask whent through lol)

I definitely did see your first ask, I've just been working through them as best I can, sorry for the wait :' )

So I don't really have any solid advice because like... frankly I feel like I'm also not great at talking about what I do?? Especially when it comes to my original projects. I know that probably sounds wild coming from me but when I talk about my comics, especially in real life, it does still feel like I'm in high school trying to talk about my hyperfixation with the adults around me haha I used to just gush about the stories I was writing and somewhere along the line I kind of lost that passion, maybe I outgrew those ideas or maybe I became a little jaded from it feeling like no one cared, much like what you described.

I think it really is just a matter of owning it and being true to yourself. Confidence isn't something tangible that you can just gain, it's a habit you have to form. I heard a saying once that stuck with me: confidence isn't the answer to the question, "Will they like me?", it's simply finding peace in, "If they don't like me, that's okay. I am enough." And that extends to your work.

If it means you have to fake it till you make it, then so be it - like I mentioned above, it's a habit, not a sudden transformation. You will go through times where it's hard, where you don't feel confident in yourself, but what matters is eventually getting back up and continuing on.

Surrounding yourself with others who have the same goals as you can also be super helpful. I have communities I'm in made up of other creatives, comic artists, etc. and that makes for a great support circle of people who know the struggle and can offer support. We deserve to have ourselves uplifted by the people in our lives, not brought down.

Personally speaking, I'm not even working on my original projects currently, I'm hoping to get them back on track over the winter but it's been hard on me mentally because I know I'm gonna be returning to a piece of work that doesn't get much engagement out of a few people who have stuck around, which has been something I've been struggling with for years now. I'm trying to be both positive and realistic with what I can handle, what I want to put up with, and what exactly I want to get out of what I'm putting in. I want to regain that confidence I used to have in the stuff I do, talk about it with the same passion I used to, even if things don't turn out the way I hope.

So yeah, I guess let's try and be more confident together :' )

[bloodbruise]

hiii! firstly, i just wanna say that i admire your writing and the way you use imagery to cast certain moods for different stories. i think in your past life you were some great poet, like homer lol! i am a baby to tumblr, but ive been wondering about posting my own takes on certain topics. i wanted to ask how you started writing and posting regul(us)arly, without getting embarrassed or discouraged!

(ps-thank u for being u🩵)

this is !!! so incredibly kind of you wow 🥺🥺 i’m floored. to even be mentioned in the same breath as a poet, let alone homer, is an honor. though if we're measuring by a 'homer scale,' i'd place my writing abilities closer to homer simpson than the poet.

if i am being completely honest, i really started posting because i was searching for a queer community. i grew up in a major city and still have a great one there, but i moved to a smaller city to go to a really STEM oriented, cutthroat school—where all connections are really just for career advancement. i basically looked back and realized that i had spent the last four years with my head shoved so far up a book that i was really suffering without that community. i also knew i was gonna have to start writing my personal statement for med school soon. writing is my weakest skill, and the only writing i'd been doing was scientific IRMaD papers for school, so i wanted to force myself to practice. what better way than through something i already loved and engaged with consistently: fanfiction.

when I first started posting my writing, it was definitely intimidating. i had moments when i overthought, got embarrassed, and quickly deleted posts. but i learned that it is just part of the process of finding your space in fandom. you’re inevitably going to stumble a bit, you’re gonna hit some zero note posts, and yeah, it can be discouraging. i think its really naive when people say “oh, just post for yourself, who cares if you get no interactions with it.” because honestly, if we were ONLY writing for ourselves, we'd just keep everything in our google docs, right? a big part of the joy in fanfiction is connecting with the community. 

but you also cant let that hold you back. what always keeps me going is the enjoyment i get from crafting stories—writing things that i wanted to read or the characters i wanted to see (i love horror and medicine. i literally threw them together to make my evan. and i would be nothing without my unsettling, ethically questionable, freak medical malpractitioner). so it is so, so important to stay true to your own vision. if you see barty with neon purple hair, write him that way. if your remus is a pretty pretty princess, embrace it. they’re your stories. and if anyone tells you otherwise, they can fuck themselves.

so i would say keep posting and interacting with other people, your favorite authors, friends, followers. as you continue, your confidence will grow, and your audience will find you. be patient with yourself and push through the doubts. it's all about finding your voice and enjoying the process! 

please feel free to tag/send me when you do start sharing your writing! i would be happy to read it :)) and i also wanted to thank YOU for being you because you are so very kind and you put a huge smile on my face ❤️❤️❤️

[mochiwrites]

feel free to ignore this, but as a newer-to-Tumblr writer: how do you get up the nerve/energy to post writing here? I've been trying to get myself to post snippets and stuff, but the lack of engagement is really disheartening. is it just me being a small blog, or is it my writing, or do people here just hate writing in general? is it even worth it?

ough, yeah it’s… yeah.

engagement on here is difficult. I’ve talked about this plenty of times before, but on here? people just… don’t engage with writing the same way they do art. and it’s really rough, especially if you’re a new writer to tumblr.

it probably isn’t your writing at all anon, it could be a combination of things. I think writing blogs in general tend to get overlooked a lot, because nine times out of ten, people will see writing and leave a like and that’s it.

I’ll be 100% honest here, and please trust me when I say I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying this because numbers puts things into perspective.

currently? I have 1,136 followers. that’s a relatively high number, right? so you’d think I get a lot of engagement from my writing but if I post a snippet, I average maybe 20 notes. if I try to do any kind of ask game related to my writing, I’ll be lucky if I get 5 people in my askbox. the engagement on here is horrible.

and it’s caused a rough slump for me back in september that went all the way until january. even now it still bugs me. I’ve gone days where I don’t write anything because of it.

I think a lot of people forget that writers share their fics for the community. like yes, we can write for ourselves, but we post and share for the fandom spaces we exist in.

it’s why I don’t really post snippets all too often? I get into moods where I want to write a drabble on here, but I really don’t expect anything from it honestly.

it’s almost like a game of luck??? where like — if you want your writing to get noticed you just have to hope that a bigger blog comes along and reblogs it and ugh. posting writing on here is so disheartening. and at times frustrating??

there have been so many times where I went to post something and just kinda sat there thinking to myself, “what’s the point? no one is going to interact with it.”

but I’m a very hopeful person, and often set myself up for disappointment anyways. I’m very stubborn and will continue to post things anyways! but the frustration really does come through at times.

is it worth it is a difficult question to answer I think. because that’s a very subjective answer depending on the person and yourself. to me, I think it is, but I also think it isn’t. it’s worth it to share with others, but I don’t think the frustration of the lack of engagement is worth it, y’know?

the only thing I can suggest to help even just a little is putting more focus on ao3. because from ao3 you can lead people to your tumblr and that might help with engagement on here. personally that’s what worked for me, but not every experience is universal :(

I’m giving you so many hugs anon :<

[oneangstymotherfucker]

tw csa mention / k!nk mention

Something that gets to me about the anti mindset is that it doesn't seem to be able to account for the fact that we might be reading age-gap stuff from the younger person's perspective. Why do they always assume otherwise? (Of course it's okay if you do, but for this post im talking about the other side).

The truth is, sexuality cannot be completely severed from childhood experiences. From what I've read, most kinks and interests develop alongside the rest of our personality(ies). This is very normal.

It is also very normal to engage in 'pleasure seeking' as a child. Something feels nice on your body, so you keep doing it. I started when I was about six, and every therapist I've talked to has said that is normal.

The age during which you start understanding your bonds and relationships to other people is also very important, and since it affects your development and the rest of your life, going back to those ideas and looking at them can be very healing.

So it makes sense why anyone would be interested in metaphorically 'going back' to those times in their lives and exploring what they didn't have words or capacity to understand back then. Real children do not have the capacity to understand or cope with sex. They are not ready, and it would cause them harm. Maybe it did cause you harm. Fictional children are not real children. Fictional children are an extension of our own inner child, a way for us to process what we couldn't then now that we are safe and have more control of our lives. It doesn't undo the harm, but it can help you sort it out and move on from it.

So yeah, all of this is even more important if you have been hurt. I write about the ages 6-12 a lot because that's around the time I was hurt. It's not that im 'stuck there' or 'fetishizing' it (you can't 'fetishize' your own trauma) - I am doing work there. I am reclaiming it there. I am making sure the needy little 12 year old in me is safe and happy.

But as for me and myself- I was still afraid. I might always be. For a long time I couldn't even approach sexuality. When I finally did it was talking to old men online, trying to get them to believe I was much younger than I was, playing with them and seeing what they would say. That was what felt safe. The only 'part' of me that felt safe being sexual was the part that was still a kid.

I don't cope like that anymore. I found a way that I like better, that is more under my control and is way less risky to myself and the potential people i was talking to. And that is writing fiction!!!!

Through fiction I can set up places where all of me feels safe (even if it might not look safe to you or would not be safe in the real world!). I can create scenarios where I can work through my fears, provide comfort and safety, and make a good place for my kid self to figure things out (and yes, get off).

And it has been helping! We've been feeling safer and more confident since we started writing, and we've learned so much about ourselves and how to feel safe.

I studied psychology for four years. There isn't really terminology for a 'bad coping mechanism'. There is the idea of maladaptive coping mechanisms, but here's the thing- what makes a coping mechanism maladaptive is wether it causes more harm than good in the person's life on a case by case basis.

The idea that a random stranger thinks they have the authority over your life and your unique psychology to tell you that you are hurting yourself with your coping mechanisms is ridiculous. No stranger online knows - or should know - the details of your trauma or life. They have no say in what is good for you. If you are worried something might be hurting you or holding you back, that is for you and maybe a trusted professional to figure out. It is certianly not for some squicked teenager or anyone else online to dictate.

Also, sexuality and brains are really complicated. You don't need trauma (or to remember it) in order to enjoy something. You're allowed to ship any ship for any reason. Bonus points if one of the reasons is because it makes you happy, because you deserve to be happy!

All ships are just roleplays. All fics are just scenes. When I write I put up tags to let people know what's in the scene. I hold on good faith that they are reading the tags, and they that I am not tagging incorrectly. I give them my scene, and if they at any point don't like what I'm doing, they stop reading. It is really very simple!!!

Finally, if you do have sexual trauma, you don't ever have to 'sterilize' it or be 'pure' about it. It's okay to have leftover feelings and kinks and interests that might seem backwards or not make sense to other people. You don't have to conform to a bullshit 'good survivor' image of some saintly person who put all that behind them and avoids avoids avoids like a pure little virgin mary.

You can look at it if you want to. You can pull it apart with your hands, you can reclaim it and get off to it if you want to, you can share it with consenting others and let them get off to it too. That is all okay and good. That is just being human. You are okay.

[liquidluckandstuff]

I wanna vent without anyone having to be like "aww it's ok" because I have thoughts I wanna say without bringing anyone down or have one of those "you'll get there" or "But I think your awesome!" conversations because I KNOW i'll get there and I know I'm awesome but I still have these thoughts so i'm gonna say them.

Also I know that someone out there is going to think the same to me and we can vibe together and it's going to be alright <3

I get kind of sad seeing all of these fic recs with amazing fics and I'm so grateful to see them because it helps me find more things to read, but I'm also sad that i'm not on them hardly ever.

I know i write off the wall things that most people aren't interested in or they won't read it because they don't like me personally and that's ok. It still gets disheartening sometimes.

Every now and again I get comments tht are like "I don't know why you don't think this fic is popular" because It's really easy to see that it's not. When you are in the same spaces as your readers and all these amazing fics are being talked about except yours yeah it kind of gets noticed.

Also, knowing this about myself is why i try so hard to put more effort into sharing the stuff I read more often because I get it man. Y'all are so cool and deserve to be seen.

And when people say "you shouldn't write for other people" I get irritated because 1. don't tell me what to do 2. its perfectly natural to want other people to read your stuff and 3. don't tell me what to think.

Yeah of course i'm already writing what I want to write. I write for me. I just wish that people liked the things I write for me the same way they like the things other authors write for themselves.

We are putting ourselves out there with our own special takes on our interests and still people think its too weird or boring to be interested in.

Also, I want to celebrate mine and other peoples viewer milestones or comment milestones or word counts or whatever because I know they make people feel good. Every little comment, every little boost in readers, every new chapter is something to be celebrated.

You might not care about that kind of stuff, but some people do and i'm tired of not being allowed to celebrate everyones milestones like that in fear or being shamed or get that "But you shouldn't care about that" fuck OFF.

two viewers or two million shit is cool.

Yeah yeah yeah we GET it. Write for yourself.

but sometimes writing for comments is fun too.

ALSO why is it okay to talk about "oh go support authors" but authors complaining that they aren't getting any comments is frowned upon?! "Oh you're just greedy for comments" like?! make it make sense.

If you don't want authors to give up, comment. Support them. tell your friends. Don't be surprised when they give up writing a fic that doesn't have engagement because IT HAPPENS. Sometimes authors, even though they like the thing they are writing, stop caring about it because no one else seems to be into it.

Imagine pouring yourself into a piece of work and .. no one cares. No one cares to say something nice or leave a kudo or anything of the like but the SECOND you abandon it you get shamed for it.

Anyways I have a lot of thoughts. Think what you think. Write how you will. Just be nice y'all.

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Hey Anthie, this question is kind of weird/complicated but I'll try my best to ask. It has to do with recovering from your past habits but I think it could also relate to general stress and handling difficult emotions and experiences (which would include addiction of course but sometimes like... just life too, I guess?)

Anyway, I wanted to hear how fiction helped you or currently helps you? For example I've seen people say that writing "helps" them but when I'm struggling I don't inspired to write, I feel terribly drained, and I'm also a perfectionist. I find it hard to relate to people who transform their pain into art. And I don't have any close friends in the same fandoms like I did when I was a teen so I don't have that sense of community where people encourage me to work on writing and I encourage them to work on their art/writing/etc.

I'm also not sure if it's good to entertain myself even though that might sound weird? Like I'll read, because... it's a thing I can do. And yeah, I enjoy it and have them. But I don't know if it's really aiding in "fixing" myself, and sometimes when I'm reading something, I start worrying that I'm wasting my time somehow? (I made reading more one of my goals for this year, because I went for literal years without reading for enjoyment, and thought my adult ADHD was going to make it impossible for me to ever read again, but now that I'm actually doing it, I don't know how much of an accomplishment it actually is)

Just wanted to hear if any of this ever felt relatable to you, and how you overcame it if so? Thank you and hope you continue to do great with everything, I wish you the best!

This took me a while to get to! thank you for your patience. I tried to narrow your questions down a bit so I hope this is around and about what you were wanting. Under the cut cause its long

How does fiction help with recovering from past habits, handling stress, and difficult emotions and experiences?

Fiction is a way to express yourself without making it about you specifically. You can create situations and put characters through The Horrors, or The Softness, and many writers find catharsis in the act. It can also help your brain process things, and be an outlet for all the feelings and thoughts inside. For me personally, I use fiction to explore thoughts, feelings, ideas, as well as to project or express parts of myself- Im also attracted to writing about things and people I DONT relate to, as a way of learning about them, exploring them, etc. Writing an addict as an addict can be a neat way to look at my issues through a new set of eyes, even if the addict character isn't anything like me, doesn't act the same or process the same, etc.

Can engaging in creative activities like writing be helpful, even if it doesn't feel inspiring during tough times?

Science has proven that writing down your thoughts helps your brain process them, just simply the act of translating from mind to page has benefits. Having it make sense is not as important as just simply... getting it out. Entertaining YOURSELF should always be the first priority in creating art and writing, because if we do it for others, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment

Is it okay to entertain oneself with activities like reading during difficult times, even if it feels like it might be wasting time?

Doing things for yourself is always okay. It is never a waste of time to take care of yourself. Some people say things like "you don't always have to be productive in order to have your activities be valid" but Id go so far as to say that engaging in reading, writing, drawing, and other "self-indulgent" experiences IS being productive. its being productive for YOU. You arent something that needs to be fixed, you are someone that needs to be accepted. Recovering from self shame starts with being willing to look at yourself not as a problem, but as a person. And the things that make you feel good, regardless of whose watching or who OUTSIDE yourself benefits are worthy persuits

How can one overcome feelings of isolation and lack of community when engaging in creative pursuits?

So I kind of segued into this a little, and I just want to expand a bit. I looked this up and its pretty close to what I wanted to say so Ill share

"Focusing on your own fulfillment and growth in your creative pursuits can be empowering. Prioritize your passion and intrinsic motivation rather than seeking external validation or connection. Set meaningful goals, establish a regular routine, and celebrate your progress along the way. Embrace your creativity as a form of self-expression and personal fulfillment, nurturing your artistic voice and finding joy in the process."

This may be like, hey! I said I wanted community! but honestly, seeking out community and connection can *scare us away from trying* sometimes. Theres all these rules we put on ourselves about not being good enough, or not having friends who have the same interests, not being noticed or validated when we display our work, not having people to talk about. All of that is absolutely valid but it really gets in the way of the creative process and who we are really doing it for (us)

Community tends to appear when you start to share. Considering it a bonus instead of the focus is just a shift in perspective rather than a shift in action. Finding online communities that are related to the work you are producing and sharing what you have is great! starting conversations and new connections is great! but seeking external validation means that you can get absolutely destroyed if you share something you're proud of and no one really notices it. Its so much better to enjoy what you've created, and just put it out there with the thought that if its noticed great! but the best thing was that it was something you enjoyed making.

[greywindys]

It’s funny Murdoc reflects Damon’s adventures IRL considering his dislike of the character, or at least his and Jamie’s intention to keep the character one more in contrast to Cass and others…and even now, he’s been pretty watered down and stale, more easily marketable…funny, considering artistic integrity behind the project was once so high that certain music rewards were refused on that basis, as well as the refusal to let the 2000’s film project be watered down and made safe for kids by every interested executive. They’ve certainly be watered down for and talking down to the TikTok crowd….so many old interviews are funny and sad in hindsight. Oh, sorry for the rambling! I only go off because I and other fans like you care so much, and it feels like the current people behind it just don’t anymore…

That is a phenomena for some people - hating people and/or characters that reflect the flaws or insecurities we see in ourselves haha, so perhaps that's Damon with Murdoc (jk jk...or maybe). I've heard that about that connection since I joined the fandom, but I've never seen the actual interview confirming it. It's come up enough over the years from various other sources that I'm going to keep treating it as if it’s real.

Murdoc being "watered down" is what made him more well-rounded in a sense, which is a weird thing to say, but it's also kind of what happened. I think affirming that he isn't some big scary evil mastermind but actually an insecure and often comically incompetent old man only benefited future analyses. There's so much to pick apart. It also reaffirms his humanity as well as hints that have been in the writing since the beginning. That being said, they definitely made the choice to take that direction with dollar signs in mind rather than investment in Murdoc's character growth. So yeah. But hey, myself and others were validated!

It's definitely been sad seeing their transition to for profit content above all else. Generally, this doesn't bother me too much - I don't care if they want to have some brand deals. However, it does bother me when I see it impact the writing choices (i.e. a shift to only writing for fan service over care for the characters, simplifying the rest of the band etc). I'm sure there are a lot of thoughtful people of all ages on Tiktok, too! (though I still don't agree with the purpose of the app and its reliance on creating high engagement above all else) But the Gorillaz account is definitely targeting a more traffic chasing demographic. It's about profit more than anything atm, I think. I actually just read a book review about this that I'll have to discuss more later. It feels very relevant to this convo.

And no worries! Ramble away. I don't mind discussing unpopular topics here - critique doesn't bother me. I like hearing other perspectives on things I've also thought about.

[problemama]

TW: CSA mention, Proshipping topics

My experience as a "proship" minor.

You know, when I was a 10 year old and first made an account on MySpace behind my parents back, I did so with this understanding that I was ultimately entering a space that was not made with my needs in mind.

By this point in my life I already had my experience with csa (long before I had any internet access) so I already had my own guard up and it's kinda bizarre to see how so many minors today just have... ZERO idea how to navigate the internet with the same saftey that i had figured out at 10. I think its because adults to bother teaching them how anymore. Back then, I was encouraged to never give out my real name or age to people, and while I could make friends with people online, I should still approach every relationship with caution and awareness. People can lie about their own age and intentions, liberal use of blocking was very much my best tool for personal safety.

However, I was also a pretty troubled kid as far as sexuality goes... my family wasn't exactly open to talking about any sexual topics with me after my assault. They would honestly rather I repressed it. Not exactly a healthy solution. It pushed me to actively seek out nsfw content online but seeing real people engage in it made me super uncomfortable and going onto porn sites made me feel unsafe. You know what didn't do that? Fiction. Art and Writing. Fiction with characters I was attached to and knew about.

This ultimately meant a lot of characters that were my age. And it was mainly cartoon characters. Your Kim Possibles, Jenny Wakemens and the sort. Kim/Shego shipping was a HUGE help for comic to terms with my identity as a lesbian and yeah, it's likely got a significant age gap to it that people today would consider "proship" (the term didn't really exist back then) I can't overstate how glad I am that people weren't so vocal about shaming those kinds of ships at the time because it was legitimately my own sexual outlet. I didn't have the experience to write a good sex scene myself so reading about it in comics and fics was the next best thing, otherwise I worry I mightve put myself in ACTUAL danger by pursuing the experience irl.

I think we forget the ultimate use of fiction as a tool for exploring both ourselves and the world in the safest way. We are drawn to dark fictional content like murder and horror for the same reasons another person might be drawn to sex and the taboo and trying so hard to repress those will just harm the people who benefit from it. (I.e. the 10 year old abuse survivor in need of an outlet)

I do mean it when I say I sympathize with antis/anti-proship folk. Their end goal is just to encourage safer spaces for minors online, but that's not something you get through full on censorship and policing adult spaces and social media. It's by spreading awareness. Teaching them the warning signs of a predator, telling them to make an alias and avoid private dms with adults/people you don't know, watch for adults who overstep their boundaries and address it when you see it. Proship people should also be doubly-aware of how those in their own circle behave, as much as you might hate it- minors WILL find their way in and they could be some of the most vulnerable people. If I had it my way, it would be mandatory lesson in grade school but sadly, it's not.

I won't expect to convince anyone that they're approaching the issue wrong but I hope you can keep this one perspective in mind at the very least.

[unforth]

Look, I can imagine you being upset about the post you reblogged but I only can speak for myself, when I read that long as post it says 'yeah we do not want censorship' but I am fucking disabled and I can't get enough energy to really read about 'is this an attempt on censorship or is it something that masks as a good cause and is not it' and since I do not have the energy to understand the issue to it's fullest, I can't reblog it. And I do not know you good enough to know and understand all your options. That is not apathy. And I am sorry. It is a mere explanation that stuff can be hard to understand sometimes, and even if it is an important cause, some people are just here to drown their heads in fandom stuff, because everything else is already eating so much energy. This is not meant as 'your callout is unjust' because I really don't know. It is more an 'sometimes things are hard and sometimes you can't fight every fight'.

...I'm sorry, anon, do you want absolution?

I can't give you that.

You are well within your rights to say, "this might be important but I don't have the spoons for it right now" and move on. I'm not saying you, personally and specifically, have to care, have to prioritize this over getting through each day. Life is fucking hard. I get it.

We're all overwhelmed and tired. You can always decide "this is not an issue I can focus on right now." If you follow me, you can clearly see it IS an issue that I'VE decided to focus on right now. That's a decision which we each make for ourselves.

But I do wonder why you felt the need to send me all this just to tell me you don't have the spoons. I can't offer you forgiveness. Only you can genuinely say if this is "I don't have the bandwidth for more right now" or if you're just using that as an excuse not to engage.

What I don't understand is why you felt the need to write me a long anon as if you have to justify that decision to me, personally, and especially doing it on anon... I don't know who you are. I'd almost certainly forgive a friend. Heck, my wife hasn't reblogged a lot of my stuff on this topic and of course I forgive her. She's also disabled, and she's studying for the bar exam, and Tumblr is her happy place. I know she's acted for anti-racism in other ways; she knelt at my side in our city's downtown during the early Covid BLM protests. I can offer HER absolution and forgiveness, because I know who she is and what she stands for and why she isn't choosing to engage much on tumblr.

But anon... I don't know you.

I have no absolution or forgiveness to offer. You either can give that to yourself, or you can't. And since you felt the need to send this to me... yeah, I don't know what you thought I was gonna say.

Good luck, I guess?

[kittyphoenix12-xx]

Hi!

About that why did you get billy hate poll... Personally i dont post about billy or harringrove so i never had any hate targeted at me, and i cant vote in zhe poll because of it. BUT i had to block so many accounts and tags because i couldnt go into the billy hargrove tag without encountering these mile long posts about how awful we all are. I know you know these posts too well, so i wont detail how according to the antis we are all racist assholes. The worst part is that when i first joined the fandom i saw so many of these that i almost believed them. You know, when a bunch of people are all saying the same bs but you start to doubt yourself, it really sucked. It effected me enough thst i had a hard time "confessing" to my real-life (aka not online) friends who are casual fans of the show that he was my favourite character. And the funny part is most of them couldnt even care less, cause being such a passionate anti for a fictional character and writing 10k essays on how awful that FICTIONAL CHARATER is and therefore his fans and the actor too IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOUR! It is as chronicly online as it gets. There was only one friend of mine who was suprised and since she is a very opinionated person started to explain to me how SHE COULD NEVER LOVE HIM and she is suprised that i care about him. I tried to explain to her that i know that he behaves like an asshole but its due to his background and i believe would he have gotten the same treatment as steve he could have been redeemed, i was hit with the classic tonedeath answer:

Well my home life wasnt sunshine and puppies either but i dont go around beating up kids

At that point i just gave up in arguing honestly and then i felt like an idiot for not putting up more of a fight, cause this made it feel like her argument i agreed with. God.

I love billy so much, but all this negativity that comes with being in the fandom just drains me.

my dear anon, you are absolutely correct and i hope you have a lovely day.

i confess that when i first watched stranger things, i didn't like billy that much. and i handled that by not engaging with media about him, you know, like a normal person. this was just after s2 came out so i wasn't active on tumblr, i wasn't writing fanfiction, i wasn't in the fandom (and I'm glad let me tell you). but i was also thirteen and related to max more than billy, but the older i got, the more mature and aware i became of just the world in general.

in my humble opinion, the vocal billy antis are ignorant. they don't want to a conversation, they don't want to discuss nuance or entertain the idea of people unlearning things.

we've reached a place in this world where racism and homophobia and ableism are so prevalent that people forget that these things are taught and can therefore be unleant. because a lot of the real life people don't want to unlearn, or can't.

and that idea as spread into fandom spaces. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but the fact that people's response to children/teenagers saying racist/homophobic things is to immediately call for their death is a bad thing actually. and yes, it's spread to characters as well.

it's all performative. i made that poll just to see how performative antis are and, yeah, the results aren't great.

another thing i've noticed about people in general is that they tend to hate characters that exhibit their *embarassing* flaws. media that has racist/homophobic characters in the bad positions aren't really loved by people who hold those views.

^^^^ i think this summarises what i'm trying to say. no one wants to be the bad guy, so when they see something that forces them to confront that part of them, they push it away, deny it.

billy/harringrove stans have been harrassed, told to kill ourselves, called slurs and yet the people who say those things think they're right because they can't fathom being wrong.

so, anon, what i've learnt from my six months in this fandom, is to embrace it. yea billy was going to hit the kids with his car, i actively encourage that now. yea billy was going to kill everyone, he should've killed them all.

but no matter what, we love and support each other. so feel free to ramble in my ask box whenever, start posting on your blog about billy, do whatever you want.

they don't matter to us. they can't matter to us. fandom should be safe and it should be fun and those people are making themselves miserable. and that isn't our fault and it isn't our problem.