#angst and distress tw

[inlovewithpandora]

- Forever Doesn’t Last -

Pairing: Neteyam (20) x Omatikaya fem! reader (19)

Request: Yes || No

Based on this request

Synopsis: You caught your boyfriend cheating on you and the next day he dumped you for her. Your heart was shattered and your best friend Neteyam was there to help pick up the pieces. Neteyam was hoping this would be his opportunity to make you see him as more than a friend.

Content: childhood bestfriends to lovers, angst, comfort, fluff, infidelity, mentions of sex, arguing, mentions of STD’s (you’ll see why) mild swearing

Author’s Note:

- idk if Na’vi are actually able to get STD’s or have a form of their own but for the sake of this story let’s pretend they can😭

- italicized words indicate a flashback

- if you see mistakes please excuse them

Word Count: 4.1k

Extra: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

Links: Navigation || Avatar Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

Darkness.

That's all you felt, all you could see.

You haven't left your pod in days, the way you felt currently was like someone came and stomped on your heart. As you sat in the darkness of your pod the past events that caused you to be in this condition played through your head.

You and your boyfriend Tawal haven't been spending that much time together because he told you he's been busy with warrior training which you understood. You decided to make his favorite meal and bring it to him as a surprise so the both of you could spend quality time together.

As you walked closer to his pod you could hear faint noises, 'what is that?' you thought to yourself. As you got closer walking ever so quietly you begin to hear a woman's voice, "Yes! T-Tawal j-just like that" You heard the unknown woman moan out in pleasure.

The curtain to his pod was slightly open so you could see Tawal rutting into her as lewd noises evaded the woman and Tawal's mouth. As you watched them your eyes began to water. You couldn't believe the man you loved decided to cheat on you and screw this woman. You wanted to barge in there and rip his head off but you didn't instead, you went home and cried yourself to sleep.

The next day as you clean around your pod, you heard someone's footsteps enter "Good morning" you heard Tawal say as he sat down at your table "Where is my breakfast? You usually have breakfast prepared for me when I come over" He looked at you confused as to why this routine changed all of a sudden.

You let out a dark chuckle while shaking your head, "Why don't you have that woman you were fucking yesterday do it for you" You scowled at him as his eyebrows raised "What are you talking about Y/N? I wasn't with a woman yesterday " He said as he began walking up to you and tried to kiss your lips.

You backed up from him and began raising your voice, "Stop playing stupid Tawal I HEARD her moaning your name I SAW you thrusting into her like a wild animal!"

"How did you even hear and see us? What were you do—"

"It doesn't matter what I was doing, the point is that I caught you and I can't believe you just tried to act like it wasn't true! How could you cheat on me Tawal?! How could you just decide to go sleep with some random girl!?" As you yelled he didn’t even say anything and you hated how he looked so serene.

"SAY SOMETHING YOU ASSHOLE!"

Tawal's once calm demeanor changed to an angry one, you calling him an 'asshole' flickered something in him. "You want to know why I did it?! Fine, I'll tell you! We've been together for almost a year and we haven't even had sex one time! all we do is kiss and touch and that shit is boring"

"I told you before we started dating I didn't want to have sex until we mated and you said you were okay with that!" You were always a little insecure about wanting to wait. Deep down you felt like Tawal would do something like this because you weren't giving him the full package.

"Well, clearly I'm not! I can't be with a woman who can't fully gratify me, that's why I'm breaking up with you and I'm going to mate with Zora. She is a woman who can FULLY tend to my needs" As you heard him say that your heart felt like it broke in half. You couldn't believe the man you loved just said another woman could satisfy him.

"Zora?! You wanna mate with Zora?! That's the woman you want instead of me?!" you say as hot tears began to stain your cheeks "Someone who has fucked every man in the clan?! that's someone you want to mate with?!"

Zora is a promiscuous woman who is well known by any and every man in the clan. She sleeps with anyone that gives her the slightest attention. If a man even made eye contact with her she was ready to spread her legs wide open for him.

"Yes, it is! She is— you know what?! Why am I even explaining myself to you? It doesn't even matter just listen to my words I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!" He yelled so loud that you are sure that the whole clan heard.

Hearing him say he didn't want you made your heartache, "W-We were suppose to be together forever Tawal! Y-you promised me we would always be together forever! How could you do this to us?!"

It was like everything changed between the two of you in a blink of an eye. Like he just changed into this monster overnight.

"Forever doesn't last when there isn't anything there anymore Y/N! Do you not get that?!" As he watched you cry he didn't even feel an ounce of guilt for the pain he caused you, he felt like you brought this upon yourself. "I stopped loving you a while ago, maybe if you would've been putting out like a real woman should this wouldn't have happened!"

The sadness you felt was soon replaced with a feeling of fierce anger

"YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU TAWAL! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! LEAVE! NOW!" You shouted with venom falling off your lips as you hit him in the chest and pushed him toward the entryway of your pod. You couldn't stand to look at him anymore, looking at the cold expression on his face made your stomach churn. His words lingering in the air made you feel physical pain.

"DON'T COME BACK!" You shoved him out of your pod and tied your curtain closed so no one could come in.

That was the last time you saw him and the first day you felt gloom grow inside you.

Ever since that day, you haven't stepped foot out of your pod. You didn't want to see anyone, you didn't want to hear people whispering about you and Tawal, and you just couldn't handle the discomfiture right now. You didn't even want to see your best friend Neteyam, you didn't want him to see you so broken and distraught.

The past few days you haven't been taking care of yourself or your home properly. Your pod was a mess and you haven't been eating. You didn't have the strength to do anything except cry. Every time someone would come to make sure you were okay you would just snarl at them and tell them to leave and everyone would do what you asked.

At this time you were laying down in your makeshift bed balling your eyes out. Your emotions were still raw from the fight and breakup with Tawal and it was hitting you like a brick wall. You didn't want to do anything except weep into your pillow, you were crying so much that your head was throbbing. You just felt so lost and broken and you loathed Tawal for making you feel like this.

As you continued feeling melancholic you heard a voice, "Y/N let me come in, I want to make sure you're okay" Neteyam said as he stood outside your pod. He has been so worried about you ever since he heard you and Tawal argue. He didn't know what the origin was but he knew it must've been bad.

"Neteyam leave me be! Go away!" You yell out hoping he would leave. He's been coming by every day and every time you sent him away, he usually listened and left but today he wasn't going to leave.

"No, I'm not leaving until I know you're okay. You're my best friend and I haven't seen you in days."

"Neteyam please leave! I-I don't want to see you! I don't want you to see me like this!" You say as your voice began to crack. You hated that you kept turning him away but you just couldn't face him in this state.

When Neteyam heard your voice crack he felt a twinge in his heart, "Y/N please let me in, let me be there for you" You could hear slight desperation in his voice, you knew that he wanted to see you.

You knew that Neteyam was going to keep persisting so you let out a sigh and sluggishly made your way to the curtain so you could untie it for him to come in. Once you untied it you walked back into your bed and pulled your blanket around your body. "Come in Neteyam" you say just loud enough for him to hear you from outside.

Neteyam pulled the curtain back and walked in. His eyes widened when he saw the condition of your pod. He knew you were a very clean and tidy person so for you to have a messy pod he knew something was definitely bothering you.

Neteyam walks over to you and sits down at the end of the bed, "Y/N please talk to me what's wrong? What’s going on with you and Tawal?"

Hearing his name made your ears pin to the side of your head and made you sit up with an angry glare, "Do not speak of him in my house. I do not want to hear his name" you tell him as more tears flow down your face.

This was the first time Neteyam has seen you in days and he began to take in your appearance. You had puffy eyes with dark circles, your hair was all over the place and you just didn't look anything like your normal self. "Y/N what happened? Did he do something to you?" He put his hands on your arms and began to rub them softly.

You haven't had contact with anyone in days, feeling Neteyam's warmth radiating towards you as his fingertips glided against your skin and his concern-filled eyes made you cry even harder, "I- was walking *sniffle* to his pod and I saw him w-with—he was—" you couldn't even finish your sentence without breaking out into a sob. "Shhh it's okay Y/N you don't have to tell me right now" He brought you into his embrace and began rubbing your back to comfort you as your head was on his shoulder. He could gather what you were trying to say and he saw Tawal and Zora sneaking off together earlier today so he connected the dots.

"I'm here for you Y/N, I'm going to help you get through this. You won't feel like this forever, the pain you feel will soon subside. I'll be by your side no matter what" Neteyam could see how broken you were and he was going to help you pick up the pieces.

That day Neteyam stayed and comforted you. After a while, Neteyam was able to get you to calm down and you began to drift off to sleep on his shoulder. "Y/N?" He whispered, he didn't hear you respond so he assumed you fell asleep. He laid your body gently back onto the bed and pulled the cover over you so that you wouldn't be cold.

He then turned around and began walking into the open area of your pod. He began to clean up your pod for you as you slept peacefully. He wanted to start helping you get into a better head space and by being in a clean environment he felt like that would help.

You and Neteyam have been best friends ever since the two of you were children. One day you were playing with your toy hexapede in a patch of moss and a group of little kids began to tease you. Neteyam watched the interaction from afar and marched over to where you were and ran the children away. You thanked Neteyam for helping you and from that day forward the two of you were inseparable.

As both of you got older Neteyam started to grow feelings for you. He never expressed his feelings because he didn't know how you would react and he didn't want to ruin your friendship so he hid his feelings from you. Anytime the two of you were together and you weren't paying attention he would give you loving glances and would admire your beautiful smile. He always loved seeing your usual joyful spirit so seeing you so in such a broken state pained him.

Hours went by and he finally finished cleaning your pod from top to bottom. As he was admiring his work you began to wake up. You began hearing movement in your pod and you assumed it was your best friend, "Teyam?"

When Neteyam heard your voice he immediately came to where you were, "Yes?"

"What are you still doing here? I thought you would've left by now..." you say as you rubbed your eyes with sleep still lingering in your voice.

"I stayed and did a little something for you" he said with a soft smile which made you fur your eyebrows, "what do you mean? What did you do?"

Without saying a word he put out his hand for you to grab. You moved your hand toward him and he helped you up and intertwined his hand with yours and began walking to the open area of your pod. As you followed him you looked around and saw that all the things you had sprawled out and the piles of mess you had were cleaned up.

As you walked deeper into the open area and saw how spotless everything was your eyes widened, "Neteyam did you clean all of this for me?"

"Yes of course I did, I wanted to help you so I did one of the things I'm good at which it's cleaning"

When you looked at Neteyam you could see a warm smile on his face. You knew that Neteyam always loved to help people but for him to help you brought out a feeling you haven't felt in the past few days which was happiness.

A soft smile spread across your face as you wrapped your arms around Neteyam's neck and pulled him for a hug, "Thank you Neteyam, you didn't have to do this for me"

At first, Neteyam was surprised by your sudden contact but he was glad to see your smile again. He wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you back, "Your welcome, I know I didn't have to but I wanted to"

As both of you hugged it felt like butterflies swarmed your stomach, you've never felt this sensation with Neteyam before so it was new to you. You unwrapped your arms from around his neck and pulled back and began looking into his golden eyes. His eyes were piercing your soul, it was almost like he was trying to tell you something.

This is the moment you realized that you and Neteyam's friendship was going to slowly change. You didn't know what direction it would go but you were interested in finding out.

—

Over this past month, Neteyam has been helping and caring for you vastly. In the beginning, you were nervous about being around the clan again, scared that you would overhear them gossiping about you. You told Neteyam about how you felt and from that point on every time you had to walk around the village he was right by your side. When he would hear someone whispering your name or even look at you the wrong way he would bare his teeth and their actions would come to a halt.

In the beginning, you were starting to get back to your normal self being happy and bright but sometimes the gloom you once felt consumed you and took you back to the emotions you felt the day you found Tawal with Zora.

Neteyam would find you crying or throwing things angrily around your pod. He would quickly come to you and wipe your tears and tell you everything would be okay or he would grab whatever was in your hand and calm you down.

Some nights he even stayed over with you just to make sure you were okay throughout the night. Some of those nights you would peacefully sleep and some nights you went on full rants about how much of an asshole Tawal was and sat there Neteyam and listened to your every word, saying little things every few seconds to let you know he was actively listening.

As the weeks progressed you were finally getting over Tawal. Seeing him in the village with Zora didn't affect you anymore, at first when the wound he created on your heart was fresh you wanted to break their unholy union. But after a while, you realized that it was only a matter of time before Eywa gave him the karma he deserves.

Over this month your friendship with Neteyam has changed, you were now seeing him in a new light.

You were now seeing him romantically.

Whenever you saw him you paid more attention to his physique. The way his body was sculpted so beautifully and how his cummerbund was wrapped around his small waist.

Every time Neteyam would grab your hand and walk beside you through the forest you felt sparks of electricity go through you, you felt blissful with him. Now when you were around him you never wanted him to leave, you wanted him to be glued to your side.

These feelings you felt with Neteyam you've never felt before not even with Tawal. The way Neteyam was making you feel was something truly unique.

Over this month Neteyam's feelings for you have grown and he felt them immensely. He felt like his heart was going to explode at the sight of you, every time he walked and talked with you he felt a overwhelming amount of serotonin rush through his veins.

It has now gotten to the point where he couldn't hide his feelings from you anymore, he had to tell you in the hope that you felt the same.

You and Neteyam were currently sitting next to each other carving and painting wooden beads. As he watched you paint your beads he could see a joyous smile plastered onto your face, "Teyam this is fun!" you tell him with child like excitement as you dip your fingers into the bowl of green paint. "Yeah this is fun" he chuckled as he continued carving beads for you to paint.

Since you were in a happy mood he felt like this was the best time to confess his feelings for you, "Y/N I've been wanting to tell you something for a while..."

You looked up from what you were doing and faced him, "Okay what is it?"

Neteyam took in a deep breath and mentally said a prayer to Eywa that this would go the way he hopes, "Every since we were young I've liked you romantically. For years I have yearned for you, in secrecy and silence and I just can't dismiss my feelings for you anymore" As Neteyam notices your gaze on the ground he grabs your chin lightly and looks at you with a loving gaze "I can't pretend that I don't love you anymore because I do".

As you sat there and listened to Neteyam's words and looked into his golden eyes you felt a deep affection for him. Over the past month, your feelings have grown for him too. "I'm infatuated with you Neteyam, I've been for a while I was just waiting for you" you say brightly as your eye’s begin to glisten with happiness

"I see you Teyam"

"I see you too Y/N, I will always see you" Neteyam pulled you into his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist. You laid back on his chest with your head in the crook of his neck while he leaned up against the tree behind him. From being so close together you could feel his warmth mixing with yours.

The two of you sat together watching the sun set on the forest as both of you just embraced each other and soaked up the loving aura in the air.

—

As you and Neteyam were walking through the forest you heard Lo'ak calling out for both of you, "Y/N! Neteyam!" Both of you turned around and saw Lo'ak walking toward the two of you.

"What is it baby bro?" Neteyam asked with a confused look, wondering why he was calling them

"Did you two hear about Tawal and Zora?" Lo'ak said while trying to hold back a laugh

"No what happened?" You asked him

"There's is a rumor going around the clan that since they mated Zora has still been sleeping with other men and she gave Tawal an STD" Lo'ak said while laughing

Your eyes widen as you heard Lo'ak tell you this information, "Really?!"

"Yes I even heard him ask one of the elders if there was anything to get rid of his 'burning and itching' problem"

You and Neteyam began to laugh as you heard of Tawal's issue. You knew that Eywa was going to give him some sort of karma and this was it.

"He brought it on himself by knowingly sleeping with a woman who has slept with every man in the twice. He knew what he was getting himself into" you said while shrugging your shoulders. You didn't feel any remorse for him but how could you after what he did to you?

As you, Neteyam, and Lo'ak continued laughing you could see Tawal walking past the three of you. Tawal walked past trying not to be seen but it didn't work out in his favor, "Hey Tawal! Are you still itching and burning from Zora?!" Lo'ak yelled out which made you and Neteyam break out into laughter.

"Lo'ak!" you were beginning to grow breathless as laughs erupted from your throat. You tried to seize your laughter but you couldn't. The situation was just too hilarious not to laugh.

As Tawal heard all of you laughing he grew so embarrassed that his tail tucked in between his legs. He began to speed walk away, trying to get away from the three of you as quick as he could.

As Tawal walked away he could see you and Neteyam holding hands. It sickened him to see you with him but he knew that he messed up all his chances with you. Tawal knew you deserved someone better and that Neteyam was better deserving of your love and affection.

Tawal looks back at you one more time before walking away. As he thought about the good times both of you had and how you use to make him laugh, a single tear fell down his cheek. He felt so stupid for messing this up with you for Zora. After he and Zora mated he realized everything he felt for her was lust, they didn't have any real connection like the one both of you shared. He didn't know why his past self broke up with you for a bottom-of-the-barrel woman.

As he walked away he saw Zora walk up to him, "Tawal why are crying? What is wrong?" She asked him as she went to reach out for his hand. Tawal scoffed and backed away from her, "Get away from Zora, you're what's wrong with me. You ruined the best relationship I had and you gave me a disease for Eywa's sake! I mated with you and you continued to sleep around, you told me you would stop but you didn't. You've made me look like a fool in front of the whole clan!" They began to have a loud argument which drew your attention.

As you look at him you were glad that he ended things off with you because if he hadn't you wouldn't have been able to have Neteyam as a lover. You were thankful to Eywa that she destined this path for you, that she made you and Neteyam's stars aligned. You were thankful that your best friend turn into your lover.

You move closer to Neteyam and lean in to kiss his cheek. Neteyam turns and looked down at you with his loving eyes, "What was that for?"

"It was because I love you" you say as warmth spreads across your cheeks and they begin to turn a light shade of purple.

You begin to see his lips curl up into a smile. He grabs your chin lightly and pulls you in for a soft yet loving kiss, "I love you too, I'll always love you forever"

I hope you enjoyed🩷!

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Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are highly appreciated🩷!

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[ccrisntok]

Random Ace angst I might delete later

BY THE WAY: Happy extremely, extremely, extremely late birthday, Ace!!!! I drew this 2 weeks ago and never posted it ❤️

No one got him any gifts :(

and the rest of the random doodles

Whoever he's talking about is up to your interpretation. Mine is Whit but that's because I'm violently biased.

This was honestly really weird, I nearly never draw Ace angst believe it or not. It's always either memes or fluff. And when I do I don't usually post it 💀

Random thought: do you think an Ultimate Jockey would fuck with horse betting? You think Ace is like. Banned from races people bet on, bc people only ever would place their bets on him? I feel like if I was a crusty old man who bet on horse races I'd fucking HATE this kid.

Also none of this is vent art or anything btw I just thought the black background + weird pencil brush looked cool

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

Prompt:

Whumpee, trying to avoid a really bad situation, is 'saved' by Whumper, who puts them into a worse situation as their pet/employee/whatever you want, but if they leave, their team/family will suffer even worse, and Whumpee just can't let that happen.

[multicolour-ink]

Saw your how Mario would react if he saw Bowser hurting Luigi post (https://www.tumblr.com/multicolour-ink/722130625330577408/how-would-you-think-mario-would-react-if-he) and I loved it. But it also got me thinking: How would Luigi react if he saw Bowser hurting Mario?

If we assume that Luigi didn't already see Bowser beating Mario up in Brooklyn when he was hiding in the dumpster - then not very good.

Listen. These bros would fight to help to each other. Even if Mario is the more physical, impulsive fighter than Luigi...that doesn't mean that Luigi would not lose his mind over the idea of Mario being hurt.

If the roles were reversed (if Bowser was holding Mario in his hand and Luigi was being held back) Luigi would lose it. He would scream and cry, begging Bowser not to hurt his brother. He would try to run up to him, try to wriggle out of the grasp of the minions holding him back.

I also believe that when Mario feels helpless, the more desperate he becomes. But the more helpless Luigi feels (especially if his brother is in the hands of an enemy), the more angry he gets. Luigi is the more emotional of the two, and wears his heart on his sleeve. The second Bowser's claw comes close to Mario's throat, the more Luigi's rage builds...He screams louder than anyone in the room has ever heard him.

Bowser laughs at this display. But he also can't help but feel a little afraid...

Afterwards, when all is settled and right, the bros hug each other tight and Luigi's rage submits into full wrenched sobs ;_;

[gingerbreadpopsolo]

Looks to the left

*sees Web!Jon being adopted by Mr. Spider*

Looks to the right

*sees people trapped in the skin book, leaving the possibility of other books like it*

Looks to the sky

*knows that the only thing we know about Jon's dad is that he died by falling*

.

.

.

Hey, you know what would be screwed up?

[black-eco-sage]

WIP - "The Price"

In another reality, Torn goes to save their friends from the Baron's Prison himself...but may be too late save the one closest to his heart.

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[thesoulesscollection]

Ellie & Henry; An Unbreakable Bond

Hello. I don't have much in the way of request but I do have two ideas all involving Ellie so likely separate oneshots

#1: An alt ending to an existing scenario or your own scenario where Ellie dies and Henry witnesses it (Think of it as Ellie's version of the "Valiant Hero" ending) the circumstances are up to you it could be Henry and Ellie on their own, them being members of the tophat clan (or Henry as the leader) or them being the good guys with Charles possibly in the story I'm fine with either route

#2: Henry after escaping the wall stops and with hesitation turns around and heads back for Ellie feeling a twinge of guilt for using her and leaving her behind

This one was a lot of fun for me to write even if it took me a while. Down below are the tags for each prompt;

1) Tw/Tags: Toppat Recruits, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Little To No Comfort (Depends On How You See It), Major Character Death, Blood, Emotional Distress, Mild Mentions Of Depression, & (RoseMin) Relationship Can Be Seen As Platonic Or Romantic

2) Tw/Tags: Developing Friendship, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Inner Turmoil, Complicated Relationships & Hopeful Ending 

1)

This isn't supposed to happen. It was never part of the game. Nobody is meant to die in this timeline. Not anyone that he particularly cared for but not her. 

Not Ellie. His best friend and companion in crime. 

She was meant to be here with him. After all they went through together she shouldn't be ripped from his grasp. 

Until now she was. Forever gone and he isn't able to change it. He didn't know what to do, even witnessing her totally preventable, and irreversible demise took its toll on him. It was his fault. He could've done something to stop it from happening though it was yanked out of his hands. 

Said hands are shaking as he kneels down to her still warm corpse. The death rattle having been seared into his brain. They fist up then relax, clutching tightly like a vice on Ellie's bloodstained shirt. 

It wasn't until much later, realized the severity of what had been done, that he's screaming his lungs out, crying, and in such a frenzied state nobody can get him out of it for hours on end. 

Afterwards, when someone else in the clan, he couldn't tell who it was, had managed to tear him away from her, he was somewhat able to cool down. He's put in a safe place, alone per his weepy wish to cope. 

She was dead because of him. 

She choked on her own blood, withering in awful pain because of his mistakes. 

Her gorgeous eyes once full of love and pride stared at him with a glassy unfocused haze, fresh with her own tears as life slowly slips from her. 

It was torture knowing he was alone again as he's left to wallow in his misery. Often he laid in the same bed she would lovingly and so carefully drag him out of when he himself was too depressed to get up. 

But nobody was there to do that. No one who does it like her. They tried, surely in their own unique way however it wasn't the same. Him and Ellie had a specific deep bond. 

So it was difficult accepting her death, a slow progression, and it was a hard pill to swallow, that's for sure. 

In the unfortunate circumstances, he noted in a rotten grimace, that there's nothing he can do besides sucking it up. At the start, a few days after Ellie's death, he didn't try, instead played ignorance. His words exact, rarely he does speak, will only consist of the topic that she will come back to him in some shape or way. 

Eventually, people grew tired and left him to his devices, he understood why. Still they did try their best to be a shoulder to lean on if he allowed them. For some, he did do that when he couldn't fight anymore. Oftentimes he was eerily silent, still crying but it eluded him once he realized that no longer did anything come out. 

And so he stands on the special balcony for the orbital station that's shielded nicely with a thick, sturdy glass. The void of space colored in blacks, blues, purples and his favorite, red was refreshing as it is a daunting beauty. His sore eyes were dry when he wiped his sleeve across them, sniffling and wincing a bit at the slight pain. He grips his shaking hands on the banister, breathing deeply through his nose as he watches the larger than life twinkling stars hover above him. 

He is going to get better for his sake. Ellie's even since he knows she wouldn't stand for this. 

***

2)

Regret seeps in like poison. Henry was used to being alone, always on his own. So when climbing through the vents and popping out, he hesitates to move forward. It wouldn't be the first time he betrayed someone or had the same happened to him. 

Though this was different. Somehow unlike the times he did this, Henry felt bad. Guilty. 

In a world, cruel and unfit towards people like him and coincidently her as well should know better better to blindly trust. That's why he did what he'd done without having looked back to see her reaction as his experiences with the same hardened him. 

She was down on her luck. Just like him but she entirely gave up. He still had his fight in him. That's why he's here to begin with, right behind two guards chattering away unaware of his presence, while deciding what to do next. About to make a break for it.

Maybe he should head back just for the heck of it. What would go wrong? 

So he did, begrudgingly, mind you, he wasn't used to this. 

Once he returns to the hole in the ceiling, he cautiously peeks over, taking in the scene of the redheaded woman now curled up in the furthest corner. In the room already so empty and cold, near the door, is the warden’s right hand looking straight ahead, again unaware. 

Softly he makes a noise in order to get her attention which she wasn't bothering to try, even ignoring to seemingly in his growing annoyance. The redhead must know he's here for her. 

He's just trying to help her! In some way he was trying to apologize and that's rare for someone like him anyways. 

As the thief resists the urge to hiss louder or even cut his losses and turn back, he hooks his feet on the hanging staircase. Why it was there is beyond him. Then he curses it upon losing his footing, falling to a crumpled heap in front of the shocked woman. 

Before long he stumbled on his feet, she was gobsmacked to see him as he grabbed onto her arm. Unsurprisingly, the warden’s deputy noticed, stormed into the waiting cell, seeing that Henry was without his cuffs. It won't be long when the true shit goes down so he'd have to rush for it. 

Hope for the best outcome as this wasn't his plan. 

With her in tow, forcibly behind him, he made a beeline to the door. He may be a scrawny guy at least compared to the other man but he isn't a literal pushover. Thankfully, as by pure luck it remains at his side too once he barrels past, knocking the other down with ease. Another surprise to him is that she's running alongside with little resistance.  

The blaring noise of sirens rings in his ears seconds later. He kept going, huffing from the exertion and the mild irritation that throbs in his head. Soon he takes a sharp turn down the hallway, a path chosen in his mind. 

It won't be his smartest, cleverest ones out there, just one that would work for right now at this moment. At the hall's end, close to an office, he slams a fist into a circuit board on the wall, all in the dwindling hopes it's the right choice. 

The door slams shut so it was to his relief. 

He lets go, turns to face her, when he does is instantly met with an angry scowl, and a cold glare. Worse, he is caged in and she can do anything to him. She doesn't, instead stands there, hunched, in stiff silence, except for her ragged breaths filling the air. The cuffs that completely covered her hands so that may be the sole reason why.

In his hesitancy, Henry steps forward, hands up in faux surrender, with no words that he's no threat to her. Eyeing her cuffs then at the room they're in, he notices one, the decently sized trophy likely carrying a heavy weight and secondly, the vent in the ceiling. 

Moments later, trophy in hand, he bashes the cuffs until they drop on the ground broken. In a groan, he steps back, leaning on the table and motions to the ceiling. She runs her free hands together, as if attempting to gather the warmth. 

Of course, she's highly skeptical. Right until he's on his knees ready to boost her up. He doesn't mind being the one to do the lifting this time. She looks around and he knows she's searching for another exit. Then she moves quite quickly, placing her foot on his knee. 

In a flash, the hinges of the vent break apart and she climbs up. 

Henry stands up, dusting off and he hears the sound of people outside the door get louder. 

When he does look up at the ceiling, almost surprised to see she remains there, allegedly waiting, maybe uncertain about the choices laid out for her. It won't shock him whether she takes the grand opportunity to simply leave him behind. 

Until she stretches a hand out for him. 

[loveofastarvingdog]

so we already know that dean has a complicated relationship with memories especially when it comes to wretched situations and even more especially when it comes to cas and like. adhd bad-memories-anyway dean... what i’m trying to say is that during the confession scene he’s sick to his stomach. sick to his stomach and scared to death and his mind going a million miles a second and he’s trying to hear everything cas is saying and he’s trying to get his stupid fucking voice to work to say it back to say anything but he can’t and he’s trying to and nothing’s working–

and he’s trying to get it all. he’s trying to sear this moment into his mind forever (it’s my fault how could i have changed it how do i get him to stay how do i keep him god just let me keep him here let me keep him–)

but afterwards.... cas’ words still ringing in his ears... he starts to forget the details. and he’s trying to remember. he doesn't care that it hurts. that it makes him nauseous and sick and makes it hard to breathe in a way that would normally mean a heart attack or panic attack or some divine force strangling him. he just needs to remember he needs to remember he can feel himself forgetting the details he can feel it slipping away he can feel himself losing cas all over again in the way he can’t even clearly remember cas’ last moments on this earth

he tries to remember until the only thing he can’t forget is that cas died because he loved him

[dreamsclock]

thinking ALSO about c!dream locking himself down very carefully in the same way he was before.

gingerly making his way into his cell, very studiously not taking deep breaths, because he’s fine, he’s completely fine, it’s just a box, he’s handled worse. there are half-formed phantoms in this cell that he can only see properly if he closes his eyes: blood. shears. item frames. himself, lying bloodied and beaten in the corner.

but not broken. he’s not broken.

and so dream slowly makes his way inside, pushing past the mild nauseating fear of finding himself trapped back inside — and he instantly borders it up with glass, because he’s not trapped if he’s the one with control, right? there’s no quackity here, there’s no sam: it’s just dream, and he has the power here now. he does.

methodically, ignoring the semi-relentless trembling in his fingers, he makes his round of the cell. he checks through the books; stares, uncomprehendingly, at his own handwriting, and thinks i didn’t write that, that wasn’t me. vague memories surface of techno showing him the same thing; vague memories surface of dream, the same confusion pooling in his chest, shrugging it off with a light sometimes i forget things in here.

it hadn’t been as frightening then, with techno around. gazing down at his own handwriting, it’s more foreboding. as much as he wants to throw it in lava and never think of it again, he can’t, and he doesn’t, because that would be a stupid, frightened thing to do, and he’s not frightened.

he’s in control. there’s no reason to be scared.

which is why, when he’s done inspecting the cell, when he’s fought past the nausea at a rotting potato he finds congealed in blood under the cauldron and when he’s struggled with tracing the indents left on the obsidian with wild axe swings, dream coaches himself through an impatient, anxious breath, and places down the chair from his inventory, perfectly in the centre, just the way he remembers.

and he sinks down into it, because he’s dream, he’s dream, and he can’t be this dumb about a chair. his legs lock into place, like they’re chained there (just like before). his head drops, just a little (just like before). the half-phantom memory of quackity rises out of the lava, looms above him, a tangle of terror and treasonous weakness, and it’s all just like before, just like before, it’s just like before—

except it’s not. because dream’s in control.

and so he swipes a hand over his face, fiercely, to wipe away the stray tears. he forces his legs to move, jerk up and down antsily, takes control of his body and demands it slouch like it hadn’t been allowed to on this chair before.

and he’s fine. through the glass and the books and the chair, he’s fine. he’s not weak: he can conquer his failures, he can triumph over his own emotions, just like always. prison hasn’t… hasn’t taken anything from him, nothing he needs, nothing important.

…and he’s fine.

to prove it, he stays in that chair for a whole day and night, doesn’t sleep, doesn’t shift. just breathes, narrowly, shallowly, until the ghosts of quackity and sam fade from his sight, and the sound of lava bubbling stops making him flinch, until he’s proved that he’s fine, and he isn’t broken.

[necropxlis]

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

Ghost Story

Shinya Kogami x gn!Reader

TW: angst, psychological distress, Kogami throws a bottle close to your face.

“Stop coming”

Those words rang in your ears. Echoing inside your head as you try to grasp the meaning behind them. Kogami, your long time boyfriend, would never tell you to leave.

“I’m sorry. Do you wanna repeat that?” You stuttered taking a step towards the man.

“Y/N don’t make this difficult-“ he started

Scoffing, you threw your hands in the air, “Of course I make everything difficult. Just because you don’t want to put me in “danger.” I’m not a child Shinya, I can handle myself.”

Kogami was growing frustrated with each second you continued to argue. You could tell this is not what he truly wanted, but he was stubborn. He always got what he wanted wether you liked it or not. Taking a swig of water, he tosses the bottle away and turns toward the wall. Kogami has been obsessing over Makishima Shougo ever since he lost his partner months ago. He claims that he’s the reason behind everything.

You believe him to an extent. You believe that Makishima has something to do with the death of his partner and the reason Kogami is now an enforcer. However, you don’t believe he is as smart as Kogami says. No man can turn themselves into a ghost story.

“Shinya, you need to stop. Don’t you see you’re obsessing over nothing? This person may not even be involved.”

A glass bottle flew past your head, crashing against the wall behind you. As you stood there wide eyed, Kogami was heaving with anger. Never before had he ever done anything like this. The Kogami you knew and fell in love with never made any sign of aggression towards you. This was the first time he even yelled at you. Guilt began building up inside of you.

You knew how much Kogami had suffered since he had been released from the rehabilitation center. You knew how his pride hurt after being reduced to Sybil’s hunting dog; how his once friend, now sees him as nothing more than a tool. All because he can’t handle the emotions of loosing someone.

“Leave.”

Taking a step forward, you tried to reach for him, hoping he would allow you to comfort him. How could you be so stupid to let your pride come before his feelings?

“Shinya I-“

“I SAID LEAVE” he yelled angrily slamming his fist on his desk.

You lowered your hand and stood there for a moment considering your options. Knowing there was nothing more you could do, you walked out of Kogami’s room without looking back. Tears started to form in the corners of your eyes, but you wouldn’t cry here. Not out in the open where someone could see you. As you were walking towards the elevator, a door opened revealing Masaoka. He called out to you and begged you to stop, but you couldn’t. You could never come back here again.

-Present Day

It had been days since that fight. Days? Maybe it was months ago? Longer? You don’t know anymore. The concept of time has been lost. Ever since you broke the simulation and realized your four walls were nothing but a lie. The starch white walls littered with scratches were all you knew. Who caused them? Was it you? Why can’t you think straight?

Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. Think. THINK!

-The Past

There was an incident in the building you work in. Apparently some psycho tried to assault one of your coworkers. Thankfully you went out to eat for your lunch break with a couple of your friends. Arriving back at the building, you noticed MWPSB vans littered around the area. Something tugged at your heart as you felt yourself walking towards a familiar figure. The spiky black hair that never seemed to be controlled no matter how much product was applied. A line of smoke trails in front of the figure.

All the signs led to Kogami.

Walking up to the figure, you were inches away from grasping onto his jacket, when he turned around to face you. The cigarette fell out of his mouth as he stared at you. There was no emotion behind his eyes and nothing showed on his face. The line of work Kogami is involved with he had to perfect his poker face. Nothing was said between the two of you. Words failed you in this moment.

You begged your brain to form a sentence, to say anything to break the silence, but nothing came. His steel eyes bore into your soul. He wasn’t pleased you were actually in front of him. After the argument the two of you had, he was perfectly content with never seeing you again. When the call came through that there was a potential crime happening in your building, he prayed you weren’t involved. Seeing you in front of him now, he was able to breathe easily, he just couldn’t let you see it.

“Enforcer Kogami, line up.” A man with green hair spoke.

That must be Ginoza. You’ve met him a few times back when Kogami was an Inspector. Kogami kept eye contact with you for a while before turning away. He handed his dominator to the inspector and walked into the back of the loading van. He looked at you one last time before the doors closed. Your heart breaking more and more the further the van traveled.

A shorter lady with brown hair brushed passed you. Something about her felt strangely familiar. Quickly reaching out, you grabbed her sleeve, causing her to stop. Turning around to meet you face to face, you noticed her brown eyes held a variety of emotions.

“You must be Inspector Tsunemori?” You asked.

Akane nodded and began to speak but you cut her off. Smiling so wide your eyes closed to give off a soothing grin.

“Watch out for Kogami for me?”

-Present Day

The creak of the hinges on the old door startled you. He had come to visit you once again. His white hair flowed as he effortlessly entered the decrepit room. With a voice like honey, you had once trusted him. The villain sang the song of the Pied Piper, and like a fool you followed. Kneeling down, the man swept some of your hair out of your face, forcing you to look at him. His golden eyes held so much promise, but there was nothing there for you. You were simply a pawn in his glorious game of chess. You hated to admit it but Kogami was right.

The ghost story was true, and now you’re in it.

[strawberry-barista]

⚅— Starter for @thefallenhumanlivingnightmares —⚅

— ★ ⚄ ★ —

The whole day had been a very very bad day. Just one thing after another breaking him and bringing him down to his knees. He'd managed to get through all of his errands, but now that he was at home he couldn't stand himself. He felt like he stunk of sweat and garbage, and he had spent the next hour and a half in the shower trying to wash it away, even after the water had turned ice cold.

He knew it wasn't there. He knew it was in his head, an imprint left behind from when he was living every day sitting next to a dumpster and praying he could get clean. He knew that scent was just burned into him and wasn't even really prominent. Existent. Yet he'd sat in there anyway, scrubbing himself until his skin turned red and raw. He didn't even realize how bad it had gotten until red began to drip in patches onto his floor. It even took him a second to recognize it as blood and not his own stinking rot.

When he looked in the mirror afterwards, he couldn't see the face that he loved to look at so much. He saw shadows that no longer existed under his eyes, and he hated it. He hated what he was looking at. Yellow stains that no longer existed in his teeth. Dirt that wasn't on his face. He scrubbed his mouth as hard as he'd scrubbed his skin and he didn't even care. He tossed the bloody toothbrush into the sink haphazardly and left the bathroom, moving into the living room next. He had intended to just lay on the couch and try to ride it out, but his heart sunk as he came through and found Natsume sitting on the couch. He didn't want anyone to see him like this, least of all Natsume. Dressed only in a towel with bloody, raw patches all over his skin. He opened his mouth to try to explain or try to convince Natsume to come back later, but his throat closed up.

"Canary," he choked out. "Wh- Uh, y-you... Why are you here...?"

[erabundus]

today's  miscellaneous  ren  fact  of  the  day  —  i've  mentioned  before  that  his  equivalent  of  breathing  is  actually  part  of  a  cooling  function  meant  to  keep  his  inner  mechanisms  from  overheating  (  he  only  chooses  to  regularly  "breathe"  to  keep  up  appearances  )  but  that  isn't  all  that  it's  good  for.  his  voice  box  still  functions  much  like  a  human's  does,  which  means  in  order  to  SPEAK  he  needs  to  have  air.  if  you  cut  off  his  oxygen,  it  won't  cause  him  any  physical  harm  —  he'll  likely  just  get  mildly  annoyed  at  being  silenced.  it  also  means  he  isn't  able  to  talk  somewhere  he  can't  breathe;  underwater,  any  place  devoid  of  air. he can still survive in them, he just has to get creative with his gesturing.

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

Prompt: Dealing With the Devil:

TW: BLACKMAIL, DURESS, STRONG LANGUAGE, MENTIONS OF SA (CP/CSA)

Whumpee sat in the interrogation room, hands cuffed to the metal table. A, the morally corrupt police captain, sat down across from them, brandishing a box with Whumpee's name scrawled on the sides.

"Is that supposed to scare me? We both know that box doesn't have anything of note in it. I'm innocent."

A smirked at Whumpee's words. "Maybe of this charge. But I'd hardly call you innocent."

A opened the box, pulling out a singular envelope. Whumpee's eyes widened. Their muscles tensed. Throat tightened. Mouth dried out.

A unsealed the envelope pulling out the DVD. "I know Whumper and his crew made this. How old were you then? Fifteen? Sixteen?"

Whumpee's fingernails dug into their palms. "How did you get that? I shattered those DVDs years ago."

A didn't deign to respond. "Here's how it's going to go, Whumpee. You can go to jail for a murder you didn't commit, and I can play this little DVD for the inmates while you're being transferred so they know *exactly* what you are. Or, you can do me a favor and walk away free of all charges."

Whumpee's eyes burned with the beginnings of tears. "What do you want?"

A smiled. Good. That was the answer they were hoping for.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Eeek I love your writing it makes me so 🫶🫶🫶 Can I make a request?

If you do angst to comfort, can you make reader waiting for Alastor to come back (they're married) for seven years? Reader's friends has been pushing them to have a new lover—introducing them to new demons or overlords that the reader might like, but the reader only loves one; which is Alastor. Until Vox made the news that he was back, for months, without looking for the reader. Which makes the reader think Alastor doesn't love them anymore and tries to not be in his attention whenever they meet and pretends to not know him. What will Alastor do? :3 Thank yous!!!

Oh man...that ANGST!!!

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

TW: Reader is sad, Suggestive

Description: ☝️⬆️

When Alastor first dissappears, you assume he's just busy and will be back by the end of the day

And then you wake up alone...so maybe he'll be back tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into a week, a week turns into a month...

He's just gone, suddenly ripped away from you without warning and you didn't even get a proper goodbye

So you search for him, you ask everyone if they've seen him or heard about his whereabouts

You even ask Vox if he managed to kill your husband, knowing the TV head wouldn't be able to resist bragging about it

Instead, he looks surprised and uncomfortable with your obvious distress, muttering something about keeping an eye out for you

Rosie is worried too and offers her help but turns up nothing, she does her best to keep an eye on you

You never give up on finding him, knowing that he's alive out there

After the first three years your friends start trying to get you to move on, setting you up with available bachelors

Valentino has offered to help you get over your husband multiple times because he's just such a good guy

You don't give any of them a chance, you had already found the one man you wanted to be with for eternity and married him

He's just not here at the moment

The pain in your heart is just as strong as when you first realized Alastor was missing, crying yourself to sleep nearly every night

The only time you get to see him now is in your dreams, clutching one of his jackets with his scent still on it

You just feel so abandoned...

After the sixth year, your friends try to get you to move or throw out some of Alastor's things but you can't bring yourself to do it

He's going to come back to you, you know it, so you keep your wedding ring on and still present yourself as a married woman

Rosie makes sure you take care of yourself on the days when your sadness swallows you whole

"Wipe away those tears now, have you eaten today? No? I have just the thing for you.."

Seven years go by and nothing has changed for you

You're sad and miserable, running errands when you suddenly pass by an electronics store, seeing Vox on the TV

That's nothing new to you, you almost turn away and keep walking until you hear Vox say something about Alastor

You're suddenly frozen, listening to Vox bitch about Alastor's multiple offenses during these last few months

He's been back...for months..? And hasn't come to see his wife?

You're blinking away hot tears, the air in your lungs going sour and your stomach doing flips

Did Alastor really abandon you like that? You need to go see the one person who you know has been digging into Alastor for as long as you have

Vox literally screams like a child when you're suddenly bursting into his office and grabbing him by his suit

"How long has my FUCKING HUSBAND BEEN BACK!? And why didn't you tell me, Vox!? WHY!?"

"FUCK! Who let you in here!?"

"VOX!" You're shaking him now, making his screen glitch out

"A-at least a couple of months for sure! He's doing something with Lucifer's daughter and a hotel or some shit! I thought you would've been the first to know he was back!"

Vox is relieved when you finally let go of him, fixing his suit before suddenly giving you a cruel grin

"Wait wait wait-don't tell me-he hasn't come to see you this whole time!? You wait all these years for him and he's shacking up with Lucifer's daughter, a porn star and who knows who else!?"

He suddenly stops laughing when you slam his screen into his desk, storming out afterward so he doesn't see the angry tears in your eyes

"Don't get mad at me because he started a new life without you!"

Vox knew exactly which ugly worries to pull out of your head and you let him get to you

But you knew he was right, looking at all the evidence presented to you...it does look like Alastor is starting over

A small part of you is telling you that he's replaced you somehow but you have enough pride to doubt it

But that self pity comes back to bite you that same night, crying harder than you ever have before

By the end of the week, you've convinced yourself that he doesn't love you anymore, that he got bored of you

You still haven't taken off your wedding ring yet

Imagine your surprise when on your way home you bump into Charlie Morningstar, the princess of hell herself

She somehow managed to crash into you and knock down everything you were carrying, making you sigh and bend down to pick it up

"Oh my gosh, I'M SO SORRY!!" 🥺

You mumble something forgiving back to her, still picking up your things when you hear a familiar voice that makes your heart ache

"Charlie, my dear! What sort of mischief have you gotten int-Y/N?"

You're still as beautiful as Alastor remembers, if not even more so

You can hear the surprise in his voice, along with notes of panic and guilt

You just ignore him, gathering the rest of your things before walking in the opposite direction of them, you don't dare look at Alastor

You know you would break down if you did

He doesn't follow you, nor does he follow you the next time you run into him, or the time after that

It hurts you a little more each time, wanting to know if your husband ever loved you at this point

He doesn't know what boundaries to push with you anymore, he just misses you like crazy

Alastor knows he has to do something-

He tries cornering you the next time he sees you, standing in your way

"Y/N, please just let me explain-"

"I don't know who you're talking about, I'm not who you think I am."

He grabs your wrist, eyeing your wedding band with a frustrated expression

"You're wearing our wedding ring..."

"This is the ring my husband gave to me, and I haven't seen him in years."

You rip away your arm and walk away from him, crying to yourself over how much it hurts

You don't see how his ears lay low, and how he watches you with a regretful expression

He wishes he could just tell you everything, wants to run after you and hold you

But his deal doesn't allow it, he wanted to go straight to you when he got back-never wanted to leave you in the first place

But he was also too ashamed to face you, scared to find that you moved on or that you no longer loved him

He hates that he's hurting his wife like this and it sours his mood for weeks afterwards

Charlie and Vaggie start to understand that Alastor's sudden angry attitude always happens whenever he sees you

But they don't know who you are and they're way too afraid to ask Alastor because he's still digging his claws into everything out of anger

Niffty is actually the one who tells them that you're his wife but Husk explains to them that you're probably pissed at him for disappearing

Charlie is crying at the thought of Alastor and his wife being separated, Vaggie having to comfort her

So the two women get to work on finding you themselves, showing up on your doorstep one day and inviting you to the hotel

It takes a lot of coaxing and convincing from them to finally get you to go with them

You're a bit surprised to hear that Alastor is helping with a hotel centered around the idea of redemption

But you figure he's got some sort of angle, he always does

Alastor isn't there when you three arrive, Charlie having talked your ear off about everything Alastor has been doing to help

Which is unlike him, you're immediately suspicious

But you recognize Husk and Niffty, the little woman running to you and crawling all over you in excitement

"Y/N! Y/N! You're here! Are you gonna stay? Is your house messy? Do you have roaches for me to kill~?"

"Hey Y/N, you look like you need a drink.."

You almost start crying then and there, not having realized how much you missed them too, hugging Niffty tight as you take a seat at the bar

It almost feels like old times, the three of you talking late into the night until it's just you and Husker...

He takes a shot and seems to be preparing himself for something, uncomfortable suddenly

"Y/N...there's something I gotta tell you...about your husband..."

You're expecting to hear the worst, to hear that Alastor cheated, to hear that he's seeing someone new

But what Husk tells you is far FAR from that...you don't know whether to be thankful or horrified

Your husband's soul...owned by someone else? Just what did that man get himself into?

You don't even realize you're crying until Husk is awkwardly hugging you, patting your back gently as you cling to him

At some point, you must've fallen asleep because you wake up in an unfamiliar bed, your face buried in Alastor's neck

You almost relax and fall back asleep before your eyes suddenly pop open, jolting up and shoving him away

Even with what Husk told you, you're still mad at him, he never came back to see you

Alastor wakes up fast enough to realize he's falling off the bed, climbing back up with downward facing ears

"We need to talk, darling.."

"What is there to talk about? You don't want a wife anymore, is that it? Is that why you never came to see me?"

He looks so guilty and upset, his smile tense as he looks away, you have to resist the urge to rub his ears

You flinch away at first when he takes your hands before reluctantly letting him hold them, missing him too much to fight it

"I was too ashamed to face you...there's so much I can't tell you and I was...scared that you would be with someone new."

"Do you have any idea how much pain I was in? Alastor, it nearly broke me.."

He has tears pricking in the corners of his eyes, looking away to try and save face as he pulls you in for a tight hug

"Just please...forgive me and let me be your husband again. I'll do everything I can to fix this..."

It doesn't make up for all the pain you felt for seven years but it's definitely a start

You've missed him too much to continue being angry with him, so you just cling to him and cry

You cry until you both fall asleep again, eventually waking up tangled in each other's arms

He's kissing all over your face, ghosting his lips over your eyes, your nose, your forehead, eventually getting to your lips

You suddenly feel so full of emotion, like you could burst with happiness at finally having Alastor again

You had nearly given up hope that you would feel him, taste his lips, or smell his raw scent ever again

You dig your nails into him when he tries to pull away, forcing him to kiss you longer as his hands bruise your hips

You both are panting by the time you pull away, bodies pressed as close as possible out of a need for contact

His voice comes out like static, leaning in for another kiss as gazes at you with loving eyes

"I have missed you...so much..."

You could cry if it weren't for the fact that you were sick of crying, instead rolling yourself on top of him and kissing along his jaw

"You better prove it to me."

His pleased growl followed by claws digging into your clothes answered you well enough

You know he still has a lot to make up for but this is a good start

Sorry this one came out so long!! I hope you like it!!

[magics-neptunes-things]

Pretzel Chocolate

Hi guys!

This is a request I add some days ago, I know it kind of the same background as @alessiasfreckles current story. But I asked her before and she kindly accepted it. So thanks to her too ♥ (Go check her work, it really is amazing)

It's a little less sweet that what I usually write with Wally, but I hope you will like it.

TW : Accident, Loss memory, Angst but happy ending

______________________________________________________________

Clearly, you didn’t expect that when you innocently get in your team’s bus back to London. Like your girlfriend Lia, you’re a footballer and that’s how you got to know each other. You quickly fell in love with the Swiss girl and after some very disturbing flirting attempts on your part, Lia saved you from humiliation by asking yourself for a date. You agreed and the rest is history.

You were sleeping peacefully in the front of the bus when the accident happened. Most of your teammates had gathered in the back for a wild game cards, allowing you to catch up on your sleep peacefully. Over time, you get used to falling asleep with Mackenzie’s Australian-sounding curses when she loses, Kristie’s happy exclamations, or Katrina’s laugh.

You have no memory of the accident, you don't know why and how the driver ran straight into a pole, throwing you out of your seat under the violence of the shock and putting you at the top of the list of wounded with a vital emergency when help arrived.

Lia was at a team bonding and will remember perfectly when Mackenzie called Caitlin shortly after the accident, in shock of what had just happened. She will remember the blood that suddenly left her ex-girlfriend’s face and the horrified look she gave her. She will also remember that she needed to be told things three times so that the information was anchored in her brain and that Leah was more reactive than her, taking her to the London hospital where you were having your operation at that moment.

She will also remember the relief of learning that you are alive, but the distress of not knowing when and if you will wake up. Nor in what state. But she will also remember the unfailing support of Leah and Lotte who kept her company in the waiting room for hours.

********

When you regain consciousness, the first thing you face is a blinding light that make you close your eyes again quickly. You hear different beeps around you, whispers of voices and the sound of a chair being dragged on the floor that makes you open your eyes instinctively.

You are this time facing the faces of several people, who look at you attentively. One of them is dressed all in white, a man of about fifty years certainly who slowly approaches you by looking at you carefully.

"Can you hear me?"

You nod, bitterly regretting your gesture when your vision is blurred and a pain awakens in your skull. You wince and moan in pain, your eyes flickering when one of the two women in the room takes your hand in hers. She seems to be on the verge of a panic attack or passing out.

"Where am I?" you ask, difficulty articulating.

"At the hospital in London. You had a traffic accident two weeks ago. Do you remember?"

"No…" you frown, searching your mind for any information.

"It’s normal" the doctor assures you with a smile, noting a few words on his notepad "Can you tell me today’s date?"

As he looks up at you, he must feel the fear that begins to take hold of you. The hand on yours tightens around yours, but you are quickly diverted from this by the professional who talks again.

"What year are we?"

This time, you're way more scared. You know nothing about it. You are unable to be even close to the reality.

"It doesn’t matter, everything is fine. Tell me the closest memory of today that you have.”

"I…"

It’s the nothingness in your memory. You turn your brain upside down, without being able to get anything out of it.

From the corner of your eye, you see the two women exchanging a look, without you being able to understand what it's about. And, when you realize that you cannot give your own identity, it's panic that takes hold of you.

A few hours later, you finally come to yourself again. After your panic attack, the doctor gave you a sedative that sent you into the clouds. You come back to yourself, but your memory is still lacking, despite all the different stimuli tried by the doctors. Aside from getting annoyed and tired, it doesn’t change anything. And it's finally when one of the two unknowns women asks them dryly to leave you alone that it stops. You are grateful to her, you hope that the look you cast at her speaks for you.

You have no memory of your love life, your past, your present or your family. The doctors warned your parents who came immediately, apparently not living very far from London. You learned in the meantime that the two young women in the room are respectively called Lia and Leah, the pronunciation being the same, it confused you a few seconds. But when the brunette mumbled that she was nicknamed Wally, you decided to go for it too. You found out you were friends, Leah showed you some pictures to prove it.

Other friends came to visit you, including Mackenzie who came with a photo album so you could list the people who mattered to you. Lia is very often at your side, discreet, almost mute. You’ve noticed that her eyes get wet sometimes and then she apologizes before leaving your room in hurry.

"She cares about you and is worried" Mackenzie answered kindly at your questions.

"I think I care about her too, even if I don't remember. Seeing her sad make me sad" you mumble.

Mackenzie smiles at you, squeezing your hand in hers. She was in the accident as well and only got out with a slight concussion. Most of the players (you learned that you were a professional footballer) got away without serious injuries. There's only you.

You learned that you play football, like most people who come to see you at the hospital. And you’re playing pretty well. You play for West Ham but also in the England national team and you even won the Euro in 2022. Unfortunately, you are without a screen for many more weeks. So, Lia came back to see you once with photos of the event. You pose there beside Leah and other people who also came to see you. Beth, Alessia, Lotte and many others.

But you don’t remember that either.

********

Staring at the clock on the walls of your room, you wait for time to pass. Leah and Wally are supposed to come see you and you can’t help but feel some excitement at the thought. You appreciate when Lia comes to see you, she is calm, gentle and always very attentive to your needs. You seemed close before your accident and it’s probably stupid since she’s in a relationship with Leah, but you want to find back the bond you had.

"Hi there!" cheers Leah, entering your room soon after.

She carries Swiss chocolate and some flowers. She put the old ones in the trash to put the new ones on the table. You look at her, lying in your bed, a little bit tired. You had exercises to try to have your memories back all the afternoon, but it didn't go well.

"Thank you, Leah" you answer, slightly smiling. "Are you alone? Where is your girlfriend?"

"My girlfriend?"

Leah frown, looking at you. You frown too, you know you have a bad memory, but you saw both interact together.

"Well... Wally?"

"Wally? She's not my girlfriend" Leah laughs. "She's one of my best friends though."

"Oh... I thought... You look close."

You shrug your shoulders and you see Leah sitting on the chair next to your bed, tilting her head on the side while looking at you.

"We are. But in a friendly way"

She smiles at you and you smile back. You feel like she want to ask you something but didn't. You don't have anything to remember, so you try to work on your intuition to guess things. And you usually are very good at this. But you didn't insist, something else coming in your head anyway.

"We... We only were friends, you and me right?"

"Yes" laughs Leah "Don't get me wrong, you're very cute but..."

There is no but, because Wally is entering the room at this moment. She looks at Leah with a special gaze, making the blonde looking a little bit uneasy.

"Hi" you say, trying to dismiss the tension you don't understand.

Lia's eyes are coming on you and her face softened, giving you a small smile.

"Hi Y/N"

Her accent is special, you asked her where she's from the other day and learn that she's from Switzerland. After that, you asked one nurse what Switzerland looks like and she came back with a travel-themed magazine, the principal subject being Switzerland this month. You didn't ask Lia if you already went there, sometimes she looks so sad about your situation that you want to cry too.

She comes to kiss your cheek, before giving you the chocolate Leah was caring.

"Swiss chocolate. It's your favorite."

You look at the package with curiosity, turning it in your hands. Milk chocolate with pretzel in it.

Your loved ones have been instructed to give you secondary information about your tastes, preferences or things you like. But they must not give you information that you have not looked for yourself before. That’s why you don’t know anything about your love life, some of your past too.

You remembered some things, like how you hate artichokes so much or what your bedroom looked like when you were a teenager. Maybe you should have left this information behind when you think about the number of posters of all kinds that covered your wallpaper.

After hesitating, you open the tablet to take a square and eat it. It's not surprising that it's your favorite, the flavor is exceptional. As you enjoy your chocolate, a picture dances before your eyes. A living room with a fireplace located right next to a TV. The wooden floor is light and there is a coffee table between the sofa and the TV.

"Do I have a fireplace in my house?"

Leah and Lia exchange a look, and it's finally Leah who answers you with a little sorry smile.

"No, you live in an apartment.”

"Oh…"

You sigh softly, a little disappointed. You don’t realize that in Lia’s eyes looking at you, there’s hope for the first time since your accident. You strive to engrave this vision in your mind to forget as little as possible.

Lia sitting next to you, you instinctively seek her hand, mixing your fingers with hers. You realized a few days ago that the feeling soothes you and since Lia doesn't seem disturbed by this kind of gestures, you don't deprive yourself of it.

********

"Did Lia come to see you?"

You look up at Alessia, who has come to keep you company for the day. Her eyes are placed on the chocolate bar opened on your bedside table and a smile decorates her lips. Apparently, your chocolate tastes seem to be known to everyone.

"Yeah, she was here earlier with Leah."

You repost the crossword book that Alessia brought you, as well as some Spanish specialties received by Lucy, with whom you also play in the national team. You are apparently close to her too, but since she plays in another country and you aren't allowed to use electronic devices now, you haven't been able to exchange much. She wrote you several letters though, telling you about her dog, her love life and her life in Barcelona. That’s probably what you’re talking about when you call. It took you several days to answer something in writing, your concentration being still difficult sometimes. But you managed to do it.

"I thought they were together. Lia and Leah"

Alessia looks at you with an expression that mixes surprise, tenderness and fun.

"Many fans thought they were together before they denied the rumors. You remembered Leah’s ACL, right?" asks Alessia before continuing when you answer positively "Lia was very present for Leah at that time. I guess it brought them closer."

You nod thoughtfully, playing mechanically with the pen you always have in your fingers. You did remember Leah’s injury, which kept her away from the World Cup you apparently competed in last summer. You have a few images in mind, like kangaroos you saw with Ella or a laugh when Mary showed you a video of Alessia traumatized by a turkey.

You miss those moments we stole from you, and you can’t remember them. It’s frustrating and it makes you very sad sometimes. You wish you could get your life back, but it’s not working right now. Your parents come to see you regularly and show you photo albums of you as a child, with your brother and cousins. You seem to be numerous and you seem to be in the youngest of this generation.

"You’ll remember, Y/N" Alessia says gently, putting a hand on your knee.

You give her a little smile before you nod. Yes, you will remember. You have no choice.

********

Several things have been put in place to help you regain your memory. You have a medical treatment to take every day, you have psychotherapy and hypnosis sessions and you also have a sports routine to respect. This last thing isn't a bad idea since you are a professional footballer and if you want to get your life back, you must stay fit enough.

Sometimes you are accompanied by one of your friends, and today it is Mackenzie who helps you to return to your room. No release date has been given to you, but according to your doctors it will not be long. You don't know where you will go however, it has been highly recommended to you not to live alone for the moment. You didn’t have the guts to ask anyone. You would like to ask Lia if she would accept to host you for a while, but for a reason that you cannot determine you retreat every time you are about to ask her the question. And it’s been a few days now.

So, you are fucked up when the doctor comes back to see you in the room after your shower while you and Mackenzie watch a game on television.

"Did you find someone to have you when you left the hospital?" asks the doctor.

You feel yourself blushed and you see Macca’s face turning in your direction.

"Um… Mackenzie, I haven’t asked you this yet, but if you’re okay, I thought about you?"

Just a beautiful liar.

"Oh… yes, of course. I thought… whatever. Of course, my guest room is at your disposal."

"Thank you" you answer with a slight smile.

The next day, when Lia comes to see you and you tell her that you are going to settle for a while with Mackenzie, it would be hard not to see her face fall. You don’t understand the pinch in the heart that it makes you, but she recovers quickly, making sure that she is very happy to learn that you are better.

"Will you keep coming to see me? At Macca's?" you ask, almost timidly.

A few seconds pass during which she looks at you intensely, before nodding.

"Of course. If you feel like it"

"It would make me very happy."

She smiles at you, but with that sad smile that doesn't reach her eyes, before diverting your attention to the newspaper she brought you. You listen to her read you the latest news and you decide to offer yourself a new square of chocolate that Lia brought you, that you save with precious care. Barely in your mouth, you feel a new image coming before your eyes, pushing Lia’s voice in the background.

You’re in the same living room with the fireplace and the TV is on this time. There is a presence beside you and you hear a laugh, a laugh that gives you a strange sensation in the hollow of your belly. When you open your eyes, Lia doesn’t seem to have noticed anything. But these images caused a question in your mind and you interrupt the reading of the Swiss.

"Lia?"

"Yes?"

The brunette raises the nose of the newspaper with a curious air, looking at you attentively.

"I just… don’t take this question for what it isn’t, but I’ve never heard you laugh since you came to see me."

"It’s not really a question" ended up answering Lia after long seconds of silence.

She’s not wrong and you bite your lip, looking for the best way to put your point of view in a better light.

"I just don’t want you to feel obligated to come here, if it weighs on you. I love your presence here, but if it’s too heavy for you…"

"No. It’s important for me to come and see you."

Your eyes cross for a few moments and you only see sincerity in the green eyes of your interlocutor. You end up smiling and holding out a hand that she doesn’t hesitate to grasp. Only then do you notice the ring she’s wearing on her finger. It’s not an engagement ring, but the kind of ring you get for duck fishing at the fair. You find it strange that Lia is wearing something that is quite suitable for children.

"What is this ring?" you ask curiously.

It reminds you something, but you feel like you’re looking for a needle in a fog. Lia seems to have understood, since she looks at you briefly before answering you.

"What do you think?"

You bite your lip, searching again and again. Lia gives you time and unlike the exercises you do for your memory, you feel no pressure. Lia exudes kindness and the way her thumb caresses the back of your hand helps you a lot.

"I gave it to you."

You leave the ring colored rainbow to focus your eyes on Lia whose face is suddenly radiant. You don’t remember all the details, but you do remember the decor around you when you take out this plastic ring from its paper packaging. And of your insistence on putting it on Lia’s finger, the latter accepting not without rolling her eyes.

"Yes, it’s you" confirms Lia in a soft voice despite the excitement that seems to have gripped her.

"I don’t remember when it was" you mumble in an apology tone.

Meanwhile, Lia got up from her chair to sit on the mattress of your bed, on which you are sitting too. She always have her smile, a real smile this time. And when she affectionately passes her hand through your hair, you feel like butterflies in the hollow of your belly.

"It doesn’t matter" Lia gently says "It will come back. I know it."

You want to kiss her suddenly. You wonder what sensations her lips might give you. But, before you can answer this urge, knocks are made at the door of your room, letting in Katrina, Clara and Harper.

"I’ll leave you with your new guests" decides Lia.

You’re having a hard time covering up your disappointment, even though you’re happy to see Harper.

"I’ll see you tomorrow before we leave for Manchester." Lia informs you before putting a kiss on your head.

********

"Why does Lia looked sad when I told her I was going to live with Mackenzie?"

You are walking Leah Mom's dog with Leah, during a rather cloudly afternoon. You doctor asked you to stay in shape and because you're not ready to go back to training, you do as much as you can to move. You go to the stores walking and your coach sent you bodybuilding and endurance exercises to do every day.

Leah looked at you for some seconds, before answering you. You know you were friends before your accident, but you don't know if you talked to the other a lot. Still, you feel safe with her. You know you can talk to her.

"I feel like you already know the answer for this question."

You bite your lip, looking at Bella running after ducks. And Leah running after Bella soon after, trying to protect those poor ducks. When the blonde come back next to you like nothing happened, she pats your arm.

"Talk to her. Wally really cares about you and I'm sure she misses you"

"She said she will still come to see me. But she never came" you mumble, without looking at Leah.

You don't understand. You thought you were close and Lia's absence made you realize that you maybe have like a crush on her. Which is stupid, why in the world would she have interest in someone broken like you are? But you still miss her.

"She's going to kill me for saying that" Leah sighs, pinching the base of her nose, before looking at you "She thinks you are developing feelings for Macca. Like romantic feelings"

"What?! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard since my accident."

Well of course Mackenzie is sweet and you understand why she was your best friend before and you really like the idea that you can still have that after all that. Of course, you don't know her like Caitlin or Alanna does, but of all your teammates, she's the one you’re closest to.

Leah shrugs and call Bella to going back home.

"Like I said, talk to her."

You hum for any answer, your hands stuck in the pockets of your jogging and the brain turning a thousand an hour. It’s only after saying goodbye to Leah on her doorstep that you realize that it doesn’t explain why Lia would stop seeing you if you were really in love with Mackenzie.

She’s watching a movie with her own girlfriend when you come back home. Since they have been waiting for you to eat, you sit at the table with them and try to stay focused on the discussion, but your mind is elsewhere. You are relieved to have the opportunity to find the calm of the guest room, in which you decide to offer yourself a new piece of chocolate offered by Lia.

You were disappointed to find that no other square allowed you to remember other things as the first two times. This is the last squares you have left; you will have at worst the excuse to want extra chocolateif you need excuse to contact Lia.

Lying on your back, on your bed, you swallow the last chocolate crumbs you have left, your eyes fixed on the ceiling.

But, while you don’t expected more, a new flash comes dancing before your eyes.

The same living room, the same television, the same fireplace and the same laugh. Except this time when you turn your head, Lia is sitting next to you. She looks much happier than you’ve seen her since you opened your eyes. And the way she looks at you… Like you’re the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

When the image dissipates, you blink several times.

You remember.

Not necessarily in every detail and in order, but you remember.

You remember Lia, how much you hate that nickname of Wally that others give her, your relationship, your first kiss and the long weekend she took you to Switzerland.

You remember.

Your hands shaking, you’re getting out of bed. You’re as wrinkled as if you’d been running a whole game. Other memories are jostling in your head, but the only thing you want now is to go see Lia.

"I’m going to Lia's!" you shout at Mackenzie down the stairs.

You barely take the time to throw your coat on your shoulders before going out and slamming the door. When you see the rain falling on London, you congratulate yourself.

********

It’s with frowns that Lia picks up her phone some time later. There’s basically no reason for Caitlin to call her so late.

"Hello?"

"Lia? It’s Caitlin… Listen, I’m calling you from Mackenzie, she doesn’t have your phone number and uh… Did Y/N make it to your house?"

"Y/N? No? Why would she be at my house?"

Other voices are audible behind Caitlin and there are different noises before Mackenzie’s voice sounds in the phone.

"She left my house almost two hours ago, without her phone, telling me she was coming to your house."

"She’s not here" Lia replies, standing abruptly on her couch, feeling panic take hold of her. "Why did you let her go by herself?"

"I thought she ordered an Uber or something. But without her phone…"

"Do we call the police?" asks Lia.

"They will laugh in our faces" replies Katie’s voice, which is apparently there too.

It’s not surprising if Mackenzie went to see Caitlin. But this is probably not the time to ask these questions.

"I’ll go get my car and do some research in the neighborhood" Lia decides.

After deciding to do the same and giving herself directions not to turn in the same places, Caitlin and Lia hang up their phones before starting to look for you.

For your part, it’s not very glorious. Persuaded to find the way back to Lia’s house now that your memory has returned, you have dug into the streets without thinking too much. Except that you suddenly had a hesitation, then another and a third, which eventually led you to no longer know where you are. Or where you’re from.

To top it off, it’s still raining and you haven’t taken your medication to fight your chronic headaches since the accident.

Long story short, you are now in tears, sitting on a sidewalk of an unknown street, in the rain.

Finally, while she had lost hope, Lia sees your silhouette sitting out in the light of a lamppost. Her cry asking Leah, who came to the rescue, to stop, gives her a start of cardiac arrest. But the blonde obeys and Lia hurries out of the car, running in your direction.

You jump suddenly when someone sits next to you, your first reaction being to get as far away from that person as possible. But you realize quite quickly that it’s Lia and anyway she doesn’t leave you much choice by squeezing you suddenly in her arms. Hard.

“God, are you ok? What happened?” Lia asks, taking your face between her hands to look at you.

“I thought I can remember where you live, I needed to see you but then I got lost and I didn’t have my phone with me.”

“Why didn’t you call me?!”

Lia raised her voice a little and you flinch, but the Swiss woman seems to regret it as soon as it happened. She takes you once again against her, her arms firmly tightened around your body. It makes you feel safe. You’re tired, exhausted to be honest. But you know you still owe her an explanation.

“I wasn’t sure you will take my call. You said you will come to see me, and you didn’t even if I’m at Macca’s since almost two weeks now, and…”

“I’m so sorry” Lia cut you, looking at you with tears in her eyes. “But I just… I couldn’t.”

“It’s ok” you breath before staring deep into her eyes “I remember.”

A silence passes. Lia is looking at you, too.

“What?”

“I remember. My past, my childhood memories. It’s you who have a fireplace in your living room. I remember you, mein Schatz. I remember us.”

After that, it went a little chaotic. When Lia starts to cry for good, Leah almost gets out of her car, but then she see you both kiss and she understands. She takes her phone to ring Caitlin and let you some minutes before taking you both back in her car. She drops you at Lia’s, giving you one big hug before leaving you.

********

Hours later, you’re in Lia’s bed after a good hot shower. Lia gave you some fresh clothes and you can’t stop smelling them. They smell like her, like your girlfriend.

Your girlfriend who is actually looking at you like you will disappear at any moment. You can’t blame her though, so you just grab her hand and take her against you to kiss her.

“Why didn’t you tell me everything?” you mumble after the kiss.

“They didn’t want me to. They said it would be too much for you or that you won’t remember everything if we told you the truth. Your brother fights with the doctors against it, but he didn’t have the last word. I should have fight against it too, but I wanted what was the best for you, and they were the doctors, so…”

Lia shrugs, her head on the cushion, still looking at you. You can’t imagine what she went through.

“It must have been so hard for you” you whisper, stroking lightly at her face

“It was. But I knew I had to do if I wanted to have you back at some point. But then after you choose to go to Mackenzie’s and I kind of freak out. What if, even if you remember in some days, you realize that you’re in love with her and not me anymore?”

“I don’t. She always had been my friend, nothing more. It has always been you, since we crash your team” you add with a smirk.

You met Lia during a friendly game between Switzerland and England in 2022. Leah Williamson had made the presentation between you and since then you never stop talking. She asked you on a date after two weeks of texting, you said yes and everything went great since then. Even if you’re a West Ham player dating an Arsenal one.

“I thought you were with Leah, the first days after the accident” you confess at your girlfriend.

Lia frown, looking at you oddly.

“Why did you?”

“Dunno. You were like always together, but I understand now. I’m glad Leah was there for you.”

You are confident in your relationship. Even if the fans seems to like Lia and Leah together, you trust your girlfriend and your friend deeply. Plus, you’re kind of a fan of their friendship. Maybe people would find strange that your girlfriend went to live with another girl like Lia have done when Leah was injured, but you didn’t. You know how good Lia’s heart is.

“I love you” Lia whispers, before kissing you.

You smile against her lips and she doesn’t let you the time to answer before kissing you once again, hard this time. You let her. You still can tell her how much you love her later.

_________________________________________________

It’s way longer than I thought at first 😅

[bunny-yan]

I love reading all your works and although I miss giant man heavily- THIS DUKE GUY IS SERIOUSLY MAKING ME QUESTION MY SANITY 0_0!! I just really want to know more about this story, it sounds so interesting and I can't deny I want the reader to either escape this situation entirely or find a way to survive in these awful conditions ;-; I need to know what's the king's deal with his brother and I do hope that when reader gets out of their confinement they can go back to being distant and aloof to their abusers (I mean, in that same air of "I'm technically not doing anything wrong to our agreement, so you can't be mad at me for just doing my "job""), they can do what they're told (unwillingly) but Duke better not expect some lovey dovey treatment anymore-

Being the masochist I am I would even go as far as to say that reader would barely acknowledge the duke's presence after this betrayal, but the second the King is said to be coming inside their home for a "friendly family visit", reader actually express an immense amount of fear and stress- It's the only time they're able to express genuine emotions without faking politeness and serenity for their sake of their "dear" husband.

SORRY I'M JUST CRYING AND VOMITING AND BARKING, DROOLING, GOING ABSOLUTE BONKERS-

i think it would be interesting to write a story where the darling is absolutely horrified whenever the King plan to visit and the duke is distressed between making you stay and subjecting you to his brother's attention or allowing you to leave, knowing that he'd have to go to his in-law's house to drag you back. but his relationship with his brother is what i want to dive in headfirst

TW: mentions non-con, pretty tame overall, general angst

—

He was intimately familiar with his brother’s things. 

Things he couldn’t touch. Things he couldn’t imagine would ever become his own because he was the second son and second sons had to pave their own path since they weren’t meant to take over and couldn’t be given away as easily as daughters. 

His brother was used to receiving everything he could never have. 

His parent’s love and affection, their time, the teacher’s unimpaired praise, the latest toys when they were younger, the best clothes growing up, and he even had his pick of the most beautiful women from all of nobility. 

When his accomplished brother eventually succeeded in something no other ducal household had done, rising to become the monarch of the kingdom, the position he could only dream of having was given to him as a consolation prize. There was no pride in having attained the duke’s title. It was simply another of his brother’s hand me downs that had been sapped of all gratification and sentimentality. There was nothing he’d experienced that his brother hadn’t already conquered. 

Until he met you. 

Unimpressive you. 

Hailing from one of the diminished baron families that only had a title to separate them from everyday commoners, his brother, his king thought it prudent to choose a partner that would keep his brother humble considering his newfound status. 

There really was no point in resisting. No one piqued his interest enough to fight for and he wasn’t stupid enough to imagine a life with someone that could ever gain him recognition significant enough to stand by his brother’s side. 

Getting engaged without his say in the matter was simply a reminder of where he stood, a reminder that wasn’t needed considering his apathetic stance on the direction his life went. But after meeting you, for the first time he’d actually been grateful to his brother. 

Timid reluctance on your first meeting quickly changed to hopeful curiosity after a surprisingly passionate wedding night. You began to seek him out, interested in getting to know your husband. Interested in getting to know him. 

Not the second son. 

Not the King’s younger brother.

It was hard to wrap his head around at first, but the more he received this attention that he’d never gotten the chance to receive before, the more he’d crave it. Irritation quickly turned into easy intrigue when you would visit him simply to ask how his day was going. How he felt. If he was interested in discussing the duchy’s current issues. If he wanted to vent about anything and everything. So great was your interest in his worries. It caught him off guard for someone to be so concerned about his wellbeing. 

It was unfamiliar. 

He wasn’t used to the bleeding concern that would fill your eyes whenever he was injured during training and though it happened rarely, a part of him felt a sense of urgency, wanting to behave a little more reckless just to see that look in your eyes. To feel your soft comfort and care. 

 Even more surprising was the way he could completely let his guard down around you. 

Taking off the constant edge, he often found himself lying in your lap, arms encircling your waist as you caressed his hair or allowed a thumb to brush against his cheek when you weren’t carelessly messing with his ears or tracing the shape of his face with your fingers. It was an intimacy he could've never hoped to imagine. To dream about and yet he did. He’d often drift off in moments like these, waking when you’d shake his shoulder to rouse him from his dreary state and if you’d managed to fall asleep as well he was overwhelmed with feelings he couldn’t describe at the sight of your peaceful face, sleeping beside him. 

It was easy to fall in such a tranquil rhythm, living while being needed. Wanted by someone who had no obligation to be with you. He remembered just before your engagement was finalized, his brother offered him the opportunity to divorce if the relationship didn’t last. It would’ve been a huge blow to his pride, but he wouldn’t be stuck with someone he couldn’t stand to be around. He tried to treat you indifferently, refusing to allow you to become a stain on his perfect record, but you blew through his defenses so easily. It could’ve been your easygoing personality or the fact that his walls would’ve crumbled at a touch, had someone cared enough to destroy them and now that you had crossed to the other side he didn’t want to return to that emotionally destitute solitude, knowing what genuine companionship felt like. 

You’d changed him. 

From a man alone, seemingly content in his sole authority, to one that smiled on occasion with eyes that warmed to the things you said, grateful to have someone treat the rare laughter that’d erupt from his lips as a sacred treasure. 

You changed him… And the King noticed too. 

The Duke shouldn’t have been surprised. It never took his brother long to pick up on things like this. He was partly to blame for making it so obvious that he wanted to return to his manor, to return to you. And anything that interested the King’s younger brother was sure to pique the King’s interest. 

He felt at odds when the King raised the proposition. 

On one hand, he hated the idea. The thought of allowing him to touch you in the same manner that he had was repulsive. It aroused every rebellious instinct the Duke possessed which was surprising considering he never once thought to deny his brother anything. It wasn’t the second son’s place to deny the eldest what he wanted. He’d been reminded of that time and time again regardless of what it was. Even the gifts he’d received for his birthday, his favorite model cars that his older brother had no interest in would be snatched away if he spared them even a glance. The young Duke, scolded if he protested. 

On the other, he didn’t want to appear as a greedy child who couldn’t share. His brother often showed an interest in the things that he liked, but if he pretended they didn’t really matter, that interest would wane to the point of nonexistence. So he’d play nice and share. No matter what his brother did, he was sure you wouldn’t develop an interest in him. You wouldn’t stroke his hair like you did his or whisper sweet nothings in his brother’s ear. These things were parts of you that were reserved for him and knowing this only gave him a sense of pride that grew when he noticed the signs of irritation on his brother’s face. For once, he relished in the fact that he had something that his brother never would. 

He’d forgotten how much his brother didn’t like to lose.

The Duke sensed that things had changed after his brother’s visit. 

You’d looked at him with sad, eerie eyes, mouth opening to say something you couldn’t quite put into words. Something you dared not to voice. 

But you didn’t have to explain. He knew everything. 

Petting you, he held you tight before going to handle his business as usual. Except you usually interrupted his work to bring him a snack or force him into a conversation over tea. Neither of which happened that day. Or the next. Or the day after that. 

Concerned, he asked if you were okay and to his surprise you began to cry. You tried to explain to him what happened, but he shook his head, confused as to why you were bringing it up. You’d done your part and the King was sure to lose interest now that his curiosity had been satisfied. 

The Duke didn’t understand the look of betrayal in your eyes. 

He didn’t understand why you no longer invited him on trips to walk around the garden that he’d filled with flowers that reminded him of you. A section with his and your birth flowers tangled together where the two of you would linger felt distant. It felt strange being there by himself as he traveled in search of you, wondering why it was so hard to catch a glimpse of you these days. 

You had dinner in your room, not the one the two of you shared. The bedroom, that you’d all but lived in since your wedding, felt empty and unused whenever he set foot in there now. 

You went out, sometimes earlier than he woke up and you didn’t come back until the sky was dark and the only sound that greeted him in the pounding silence were cicadas and the sound of a pen attempting to scratch away the dread, the worry that built after not seeing you, the concern that this wasn’t something that would simply go away. 

You couldn’t look at him, let alone touch him when he did manage to track you down and he couldn’t bear that disgustingly familiar sting he felt whenever you’d move away from his outstretched hand, avoiding the touch he’d attempted to share. Balling his fist, he’d pull away and attempt to convince himself that you needed space. It was normal to have hiccups in a relationship and space was something, along with time, that helped. 

But with every passing day, every moment, the distance between the two of you seemed to get larger. Any attempt he made to bridge the gap only seemed to push you farther away and he hated the smug look on his brother’s face as he poked and prodded his brother on how married life was going. 

As if he’d known this would happen. 

Finally having enough of this, he asked you. What was wrong? Why had you changed? How could he get you back to how you were before, is the question he didn’t get a chance to ask because, to his surprise, you’d gotten angry. 

You’d never been angry with him. Frustrated with his nonchalant behavior or confused with his hard to read moods, always. But never angry. 

At least not like this. 

You looked at him as if you were searching for something and something surged in his lungs when you drew away, unable to find whatever it is you were looking for. It felt like he had failed, recognizing those eyes that plagued him his entire childhood, and he couldn’t even be certain of what. 

He couldn’t understand why you were claiming that you were leaving him! 

You’d become an irreplaceable existence in his life and yet you were so ready to rip that away from him. To leave, abandon him to the crushing loneliness he didn’t realize he endured before. Now that he’d gotten a taste of happiness, he was hesitant to let it go. 

More than hesitant. 

The thought of you being anywhere but by his side felt appalling to even imagine, an incomprehensible idea. 

He couldn’t let you go. Not if it meant returning to that time. But why is it that the words he’d been desperate to express, words that became harder and harder to say as soft pudgy hands became calloused and hard, were impossible to tell you?

Don’t leave me. 

“You have a duty to this duchy.”

I don’t want to be alone. 

“A responsibility to uphold.”

Please. 

“If you’re so willing to view what happened as a shameful act regardless of my permission, then maintain it as a personal defect and don’t let it interfere with your obligations.”

Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. 

Hold me. Touch me like you did before. Look at me as if I’m the only one, the only one, the only one. 

He couldn’t bear to imagine you on the arm of another. To think of you looking at anyone else the way you did when you were happy, concerned, in love. 

He grabbed at his chest, begging for something, for anything to alleviate this torment, for someone to tell him what he’d done wrong. 

“So, how is married life?” 

His brother wore an easy grin, calmly laid back with a woman on his lap and a man at his side. 

Ever the pious ruler. 

He’d rather die than admit that things weren’t going well. The Duke couldn’t bear to see his brother’s smug grin. 

“You were so excited to show them off to me, I couldn’t help but be curious. But they’re rather boring aren’t they?”

The Duke stilled himself. 

“Even in bed they seemed content to just lie there and it was hard maintaining an ere-”

“Please excuse me, Your highness. I have matters to attend to at home.”

He got up and began to walk out, not having to turn around to see the shit-eating grin on his brother’s face. The look of superiority as if he’d always be below him. 

“Oh, baby brother. When will you ever learn?”

Those words stayed with him. Even as he pulled out the key to unlock the door to your shared bedroom. It was relieving not having to search the entire manor to find you, but you had become quiet. Despondent to his words or touch. Even now as you sat on the bed, you didn’t move when he sat next to you. You didn’t spare a glance in his direction when he placed a hand on the small of your back and you said nothing when he asked you to speak to him. 

He should’ve known. 

In their younger days, his brother couldn’t bear to see him have anything that he hadn’t already played with. 

How could he forget that his brother only lost interest in those model cars that he’d been so proud of, that he shined everyday, that he treated more preciously than himself, after he’d pulled the wheels off of them?