#anonblogging

[noonespecialthebloganon]

11-1-22

Sometimes I really don't know what I am feeling anymore and it's really hard.

I just feel confused and tired-- so tired.

I keep wishing I can freeze everything right at the moment I am in, so I can rest within an unmoveable nook of time. Just a small fragment of time is all I am asking for. Just for the opportunity to not have to continue going and going and going, until I am so numb to everything. But of course, the most unforgiving and cruel thing about living is time. No matter what we do, time is still there creeping up behind us-- taking away everything from us, until there is nothing else.

I just feel like lately everything is falling apart, caving in on me, wearing me down, and crushing me. I can't breathe or escape and I have no idea how to make things better or where to even start the process. I feel like I have given so much of myself away so carelessly that I now have no idea who I am and it hurts.

It hurts to not know why I am here or what I am supposed to be doing to make myself happy in this short life. I feel like I have just been following the ideals of others to make everyone else around me happy. I gave up dreams and aspirations and passions and time that I will never be able to reclaim. I have given my whole life to make others happy and all it did for me, was make me miserable. I feel empty and I don't know how to fix it. It hurts even more when I think about all the memories that I have blocked out and all the time I have erased from my mind simply because I needed some way to cope. I think I was just forced to grow up too fast and take on roles I should not have even needed to play for a very long time.

I played the role of mother for my sister and I don't regret a single second, but deep inside it just hurts so bad. Not an overwhelming ache, more like one that grows and grows, creating this burning feeling inside. My sister had a "mother" who cared for and loved her and listened when she was bullied or hurt or sad. She had and has me. But who did I have? No one. I had no one. I had to take on the role of the perfect mother figure, yet my mom (our real mom) couldn't even seem to care when I was ten years old begging her to stop drinking.

Perhaps this is an overshare-- but it hurts-- No actually-- it kills me that my sister had a mother there and I did not. I was there, I always had to be there because if I wasn't my sister would have no one, just like I always did. Yet, I am still the target of my mother's ire and anytime I see her it is usually followed by an argument or accusation, or insult.

I just hate that I am jealous and envious. I hate that I will always wish for a mother I am never going to have. I hate that time is immovable and unchangeable-- time is fixed and no matter what I do I will never be able to go back and have a different mom. I will never have the mother I truly deserve and that hurts worse than anything because I will always wish for it.

At every birthday, at every Christmas, at every shooting star across the sky-- I will always wish for her-- for my mom, before the alcohol because I need her and I can never have her back again.

Nothing is more heartbreaking than seeing your parent right in front of you and not recognizing who they have become. It's like she has died and been replaced by some strange new person I don't even recall in my memories.

But once again-- what do I know, I'm a nobody and I'm no one special.

[queenfrancinesblog]

I am so, so tired.

I’m so tired of this stupid dating pattern I’ve seemed to have picked up. It’s when I start talking to someone and we get along pretty well. We talk daily, consistently, and find we have a lot in common. Like two weeks straight. We plan a date. I get excited, hopeful. I see a lot of potential. They’re smart, cute, respectful, and are attracted to me. They’re eager to talk to me and wanna see me.

We meet up. It goes well. We hang out for a long time. We have great convos. I feel more attracted to them. I feel respected, seen, wanted. I wanna see them again.

And then it just fails. just like that. They’re no longer interested, they-surprise-don’t want anything serious or long term(despite my profile saying boldly that I do), or just ghost.

All that potential, hope, investment, excitement-all destroyed, shattered, crumbled to a pile of rubble. I’m left hurt, confused, and incredibly sad. My chest hurts, and I can’t stop crying. I want to be cared for, to be held, good communication, and just want to be wanted. I want smth genuine. Why does that feel like to much to ask :(

What did I do to deserve this

[dsaf-confessions]

I’m gonna say it.

I’m gonna say the thing.

I have one of those anonblogs @davesdressanon I have no clue if it works as intended but! I made it! If it links to my main, not it doesn’t! :D

- Dave’s Dress Anon

[soilanonlorelmao]

I would like to magic anon goose having a voice for 5 asks

Eepy can stay awake for 10 asks

Flower is deaf for 3 asks

Sickly is not sick for 15 asks

And when I say asks that means the asks they talk for are the only ones counted

AAH. OH MY GOD IMMEDIATELY

NOOO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO FLOWER

@flower-anon @sickly-anonblog

[noisebreaker]

Please suggest me anonblogs 👀

Wala ako masuggest kase di naman na ako active dito 🥲

[yourpixie]

names!! they’re so integral but not everyone wants to go by their celebs name?? so here are some cute feminine names i like!! lmk if you want unisex or masculine names. i can also come up with names matching a certain theme if you want pixie, talia, titanic, cougar, prentice, zoey, bonita, button, bambi, penelope, vitalia, fawn, destiny, ivani, kiera, kiana, tiana, poppy, daveigh, davina, etheria, freya, raine, forrest, tempest, echo, breeze, bliss, blossom, bloom, katrina, nova, priya, pia, pea, tulip, venus, aphrodite, artemis, apollo, hera, celestia, celeste, twilight, stellaluna, athena, juno, judah, jasmine/jazmin, deja, leilani, lorelai, daisy, autumn, winter, summer, harvest, carmen, lux, luz, blaire/blair, blythe, brighton, arizona, indiana, montana...i have a lot more ideas if you want!!

[looking-for-alice]

Is it bad that when I send you a text and you reply that I actually forget who you are... you are a distant memory to me... we have no connection.... no friendship... nothing... after four years.... I can’t remember your voice, your tone or touch....but what amazes me most is I don’t miss you at all... because I don’t know you.... and maybe I never did.

[ronindrew]

Uploading selfies in the dead of night with the TL dead and then deleting them so no one can see >>>

[green-witchworld]

9th March 2018

10:34pm

We all need someone. We all need a place to feel okay. Falling victim to my own mind, i have only myself to blame. You see we live in a world where looks, money and power are more sort out than any amount of kindness, love and genuine heart. So how do you find something or someone to give you the love you deserve? I don’t know. I am still looking myself. Looking to find myself. These people you spend your whole life with at school and work, they are not your friends nor do they need a reason to value you as a whole, until they need something or someone to fill that void that they so desperately desire from time to time. People like you and I are overlooked. But we are the people who should be loved. Who deserve to be loved. I have been alone my whole life. I am still here. Fighting. I am stronger than I know I am. How you may ask? That’s easy, you see I have been fighting demons for years. Driving their unwanted thoughts into my brain, dragging their blades through my skin and pushing me through countless sleepless nights. I want nothing more than to be happy. My happiness is making others happy. To make sure they never feel the way i do. Life isn’t for everyone but you can beat that I sure as hell will give it everything I have even if that is nothing at all.

[fanficmemes]

Hey some of y’all r new so heads up: I love when y’all send me memes to post!! Ur welcome to send em in whenever!!!

We do cursed asks here which r highly nfsw pls block the tag if u don’t want to see it

Here’s the blog lore post!!!

https://fanficmemes.tumblr.com/post/652554646666313729/hey-guys-thanks-to-our-lovely-anonblog

[cerastes]

life taught me many lessons: never be Just A Dude in a world of Monsters, living in your brother's shadow all your life can lead to you losing your shit, comphet sucks. But the most important thing of all was this: using blood as hair gel is one of the best ideas you can have.

Akira Nishikiyama from Disney Channel, don’t you dare anonblog in my inbox, go and make your own damn post or I’ll Square x3 Triangle uppercut you so damn hard you’re going to fly out of those highwaists you love wearing for some reason, you fucking carp.

[noonespecialthebloganon]

11-4-22

Sometimes I really feel like my mother hates me. She's just so mean and hurtful and I can't for the life of me understand what I could have done wrong to make her so hateful toward me. Sometimes I think it's because she knows my dad and I are closer than her. I sometimes think that she is jealous or maybe envious of the connection I have with my Dad.

It's nothing weird or strange-- we just relate to one another and see a lot of the world through a similar perspective. Even more so, my dad has always been my favorite person in the world. He's been the hero in every story, the protagonist in every memory, and the savior in every dream. No matter what-- he has always been the most important person in my life. Even further, I think I slowly, but surely, became one of his favorite people too. Of course, my father has always cared for and loved me, after all, he is my father-- but as I got older we became friends of sorts. I can never truly explain or convey the love I have for my father, but when I say he is the best person I have ever known, I do not mean this facetiously or in a fictitious manner. He truly and honestly is the most wonderful person I have ever met, and I can only hope to be half the person he is.

But-- I sometimes think my dad enjoys my company because I remind him of my mother before the alcoholism-- before she became someone we don't recognize. My dad says I sucked all the humor and fun from my mother the day I was born. I usually laugh when he makes this comment, but oftentimes it just makes me sad.

Sad-- because I feel like I have stolen away something that was so precious and treasured, without even knowing I was doing it. Part of me sometimes believes I am the catalyst behind all of the issues in my family and all of the animosity constantly brewing between my parents.

I don't know...

That's probably not true and most would say I am being dramatic, but it just hurts. It aches deep down.

I guess-- at the end of the day, I (just) can't understand why my mother hates me. I try so hard to make her proud. I try so hard. But, I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. Each milestone met is greeted with another expectation or another mountain to trudge.

Why can't I make her love me?

Why doesn't she love me?

What did I do so wrong and why can't she just love me the way mothers are supposed to love their daughters?

I'm not sure and maybe I'll never truly know, but honestly, that's okay. AND-- Maybe one day, I will know all the answers to my questions, and that's okay because, at the end of the day, everything in life has to be "okay". All of us-- even subconsciously, is hoping that life will remain in a constant state of "okay-ness" because admitting otherwise is sometimes too painful to bare-- and that's okay too.

I have begun to realize that life is not supposed to be made of constant joy or linear happiness-- life is not supposed to be about constantly striving for the next sliver of enjoyment. Life is supposed to be about experiencing everything that human existence allows us. We are supposed to experience great joy and happiness and love and pure unadulterated wonderment in the world. But, we also have to experience the inverse-- deep sadness and loss and despair and hopelessness.

Balance is the key-- and although we suffer, we feel equal parts joy and sadness.

We get the opportunity to feel so much in this life, and although it hurts immensely, it serves to remind us how beautiful life can truly be.

But what do I know-- I'm a pessimist and a nobody.

[queenfrancinesblog]

anyone else's parents do this?

my dad is a cheap, frugal asshole. it's like pulling teeth just to buy the most basic essentials. i know the general amount he has in his accounts, and it's definitely enough to, say, help his own fucking kids paying for things like tuition. i'd kill to have the financial assets he has. and he acts like he's below poverty, one week away from being on the street. sure, he didn't have a lot growing up and that has an effect on you as an adult, but it's extreme imo. doesn't matter what someone buys, he'll throw a tantrum like a 5-year-old when someone touches(or tries to) his precious money. he reminds me of a dragon hoarding a pile of gold.

he treats us like a financial burden. like boo-hoo, your kids that you chose to have and raise need help bc no shit we need help, especially in this economy. asking him to get simple groceries is a challenge. my mom buying small stuff that literally costs $1 is an issue that causes him to blow up as if the bank will come for him tomorrow. i'm so sick of it. me asking for HELP in order to get through college should not me feel worthless when he has all the means to. fuck off.

[lovehotelreservation]

As soon as I heard Belial was summonable I was awaiting with bathed breath for your reactions Chell!!! Lowkey sent you my luck so you could get that manslut. IM SO SO HAPPY YOU GOT HIM!!!!!! And the whole journey was fun to watch and cheer on haha -anonblog

HFAKLFAHKLFAHLKFA ANON DARLING ILYSM THANK YOU!!! THIS WAS AN ARC OF EMOTION!!!!!!!!! AND LUST!!!!!!!!! AND LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gerginiz]

Agab biz rbleriz soru postu gelmez Furkan rbler 1000000 tane gelir

kes la anonblog

[wyrmguardsecrets]

Imagine opening a Patreon and Kofi for your RP. Yikes.

Imagine caring enough to feel the need to come to an anonblog to bitch about it. Yikes.