#answering everything in my inbox now cause i finally have the time

[rottin6]

James eating reg out and reg causing james glasses to break by how hard he’s clenching his thighs around james head

you see, anon, i firmly believe james always remembers to take his glasses off but on the odd occasion that he's just so desperate to get his head between reg's legs, i can totally see this happening

it's sloppy and messy, and all you can hear is james absolutely devouring him along with regulus' heavy moans, and then you just hear a slight crack and james freezes. regulus is panting, confused and whiny, like "why'd you stop?" and james is tonguing his cheek, pulling back to look at regulus so he can see the crack in the glass like "cause i can't fuckin see now"

[luci4theminorannoyance]

Hihi! I’m in an angsty mood, so if it’s no bother would you mind writing falsely suspected traitor!reader (gn) with Gaz, ghost, soap, velikan, roach, Keegan and Krueger (I’m sorry, I don’t know your character limit, it’s completely up to you how many and which of them you want to write for!!) but they only find out reader is innocent after they already tortured reader?

Reader does forgive them but is very much traumatised, believing it’s something they did in order to bring suspicion to themselves, so reader starts to act differently. More meek and withdrawn, always keeping their head down and voice quiet, flinches and has low self esteem, …etc

Of course no pressure to write this at all!! And I’m sorry if any of the phrasing is weird, English is not my first language 😅

Hope you have a great day/evening!

a/n: I’m pretty sure I have a request just like this in my inbox and drafts somewhere lol (my drafts from old old requests are still gathering dust I’m so so so sorry to the people who requested btw)

Gaz:

-heart shattered with the most painful look on his face when he found out you didn’t lie to him. That you were innocent.. that when he was doing everything to pull info out of you and treating you like scum, that your answers of ‘I’m not lying!’ And pleas were all.. real

-went to you the second he could, shivering in self hatred especially when he saw the wounds he had caused on your body

-once you finally got back to good terms, he could see all the damage he did and it hurt him so much. He wanted YOU back, the loud, funny, unworried you… he didn’t know what to do

soap:

-held you so close for so long as soon as he figured out you didn’t lie to him. Or the team.

-tried everything and I mean EVERYTHING to try to get you back to how you were before it all

-every time you flinch or whisper, he can feel his guilt stabbing him though the heart, he can just imagine how you must feel.. and to think he could have helped.

-If he wasn’t so close to the rest of the team, he probably would have yelled at all of 141 for even assuming you were the traitor

ghost:

-feels so utterly guilty, like a wound was given to himself rather then you

-hates the fact he genuinely thought you would ever do that to him

-tried to distance himself from you now that you were back… he was just so guilty

-what if he hurt you again? What if you were still mad? What if you hated him now? He just couldn’t face it.

-when he found out you forgave him, an invisible weight was lifted off of him. But as he saw you be so quiet, he could feel his hands sake and his body almost collapse. He did this. He hurt his lover. He could never trust himself with you like he used to again.

-was oh so careful with you since then.. but could never shake the guilt

velikan:

-he HATED you when he thought you were a traitor. He had deleted every photo. Burnt every gift. Broke any shared thought. So finding out he had lost all of that hurt him so much he sat and cried for days, begging and pleading to anything that time could rewind and that he could have his memories and gifts back

-he tried so hard to make new ones with you to, he basically followed you like a lost puppy. But he knew even though you forgave him, he was damned to feel guilt every time you weren’t your same old self

-he missed his memories of you in photos and pages of his journals, he missed your bright smile and loud confidence, he missed all the things you changed from trauma he didn’t stop

-he hated himself for hating you when you were so innocent

keegan:

-he felt rage, rage at his teammates, rage at the captain who reported you for suspicious activity, and most of all, rage at himself for not protecting you like he always promised you he would

-couldn’t stand seeing you flinch, couldn’t stand not being able to reassure you that it would be okay and that he would protect you if it ever happened again

-because he knew his words of protection didn’t mean anything now. He had failed to protect you and even participated in harming you for something as simple as a claim…

kreuger:

-he thought that as soon as he started to fix things, you yourself would get fixed. But he was so wrong

-tried anything he could think of to make you feel safe to be yourself again, and whenever it didn’t work he’d secretly shed a tear

-it was like seeing his lovers ghost.. you weren’t you anymore, and it shattered him so much that he couldn’t fix it

-he could fix his guns, he could clean up your wounds, he could tell you that it was okay to be yourself again, he could fix the broken mirrors in his room, but he couldn’t fix you. He couldn’t get you back the way he remembered you, and he knew no matter how many years of therapy kortac paid for, it still wouldn’t fix you perfectly…

[moonsaver]

THANK YOU FOR READING MY RAMBLE ABOUT THIS SLUTTY MAN, I have love-hate relationship with Ratio :3 (YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING AS ALWAYS)

BUT ALSO, ANOTHER RAMBLE HERE CAUSE YOU'RE MY FAVORITE WRITER!!

I don't know if you feel uncomfortable/weirded out with this, but if you do! Please do delete this if you want, it's your choice!!

Imagine a child, it can be one of those children in Penacony or other planets. But I pick the child from the Penacony! Walking up to Ratio and S/O, who is probably bickering as per usual or just enjoying one of another times (Secretly, since Ratio wants to be a secretive or this is same past-rebelious but now Professor S/O!)

As the child tugs on S/O, calling them pretty and hugs them. THEN PROCEEDED TO BE LIKE "kay now, you're my parent/mother/father"

LIKE:

"Hey miss/mister/mx! You look very pretty/handsome/unique! Will you be my parent?"

IMAGINE RATIO REACTION, *IF* THE KID IS GONNA BE LIKE

"oh, you're going to be my dad as well/other father/other parent!

OR THE OTHER WAY, HOGGING S/O ATTENTION. Clinging On S/O, regardless how many times S/O tries to get the kid back at their actual and real parents here, and would sometimes spend time hanging out with the kid while also trying to search for the kid parent

(AND ALSO I'M GOING TO SEND SOME RAMBLE ABOUT ROBIN (if you Dont mind!) MY BABY DESERVES THE BEST)

Hello anon! Always happy to answer brain rots and imagines and rambles hehe. Glad to see you back in my inbox!

Also, so cute hehe.

I imagine Dr. Ratio is actually pretty good with kids. The thing with kids is most of them love asking a shit ton of questions, the most ridiculous kinds at that. And you know those people who are so damn smart and knowledgeable in their field they start thinking about possibilities of ridiculous ideas as actually plausible? Veritas would kind of teeter on that when it comes to kids and their imagination. I just can't help but imagine kids crawling all over him while he has a rubber duck in his hand and explains like.. hawking radiation to a kid who's just staring blankly at him.

Honestly, kids would love him. Hes the strange, serious man who always bends down and tells you really confusing but fun stuff about things and seems to know everything. To them, hes the "actual adult".

I imagine, in the case a lost child approaches him or him with his s/o, his first instinct would be just to gauge the general state. He'll simply watch as you pick up the kid and coo at him and all the willy nilly stuff, just glancing over and checking for injuries, signs of anxiety or confusion, frustration, or fear. After he's done looking over, he'd try to ask the child about where their parents are when they perk up about how both of you are their parents now.

Well.. he doesn't know how to respond. You see his eyebrows raise slightly at the kid's remark, but he brushes it off, and starts telling the child all about your embarassing history if you were the rebellious professor!s/o. If you aren't, just about any silly memories he has of you are at the tip of his tongue, and that you really aren't suited for a parental figure. Even if you try and shut him up, he'll simply turn to the kid like, "do not let those who oppress you, silence you." Or something lol.

He doesn't mind the child being all over his s/o, telling them how pretty they are, asking them if they want to be their parent, and so on. Kids are silly, and illogical. It's in their nature to say anything that comes to mind. Of course.. he's slightly sour inside that your conversation was cut short, and now the child's hogging all your attention, but he vehemently pushes it down, simply resolving to search for their parents with you.

It's not soon before the both of you finally find them. Veritas gives them a stern, subtle warning about losing their child while you comfort them, bidding your farewell. It slightly annoys Veritas when the child clings to you, refusing to let go, and all his parents do is laugh it off, saying "they're just very social!" Or something. He has better things to be doing, really. He just walks off and lets you take care of things from there.

If you ask him if he's jealous, he won't say anything, and stare deadpan into your eyes before shrugging it off and changing the topic back to what you both were discussing before. Both of you can have more productive conversations, really.

Although.. his thoughts teeter a bit, and he shortly ponders over what kids with you would be like.. would he want children? Maybe one.. or two.. or even three..

Ugh, he's thinking too far ahead. He resigns to simply paying attention in the present, and listening to you ramble instead.

[suraemoon]

Dad!John Egan Headcanons

🧡: Here are a bunch of thoughts about Bucky as a father (Specifically to a bunch of girls because this man gives me major girl dad vibes and that’s what I was most inspired by) My inbox is always open for requests.

🧸 Inaccuracy warning: I mention pregnancy tests and a quick google search has informed me that pregnancy tests did not exist in the forties. I’m not gonna make the reader pee on a frog (yes that was an actual method back then) so I’m simply gonna keep that part in. Please forgive me in advance.

————————————————————————

You, the newly wedded wife of Major John Egan, found out you were pregnant on a warm July evening

After a few days of extreme nausea and bedridden reflection over the wild memories of a thoroughly exciting and all fulfilling honeymoon, you had rising suspicions over the cause of your ailment

A concerned John Egan simply could not stop himself pacing around any room you were in, always on standby for when his wife might need him

Bucky did not want to automatically assume you were pregnant

Despite having to wake up frequently throughout the night to become a designated hair holder while you vomited into the nearest toilet

For your husband simply didn’t know if it’d be considered rude or not to assume

So he rode out the waves with his dear wife, whispering reassurance while all the food emptied her stomach, offering a firm arm to hold onto when she stood up too fast and needed to be steadied

Finally, you decided to take a test; wanting to give all these internal questions a confirmed answer

There was also a desire to put your poor husband at ease by uttering the not-at-all-anxiety inducing words, “Don’t worry, Bucky. I’m not dying. I’m pregnant.”

And pregnant you were

Shaky hands held a positive pregnancy test on a scene that, even decades later, you can never fail to recall; a few moments of silence ensued as you stared at the test, making sure that your eyes were not deceiving you and the world indeed wasn’t playing on of it’s trick.

Meanwhile, Bucky was keeping himself occupied by walking back and forth on the stone path that ran through the front lawn

His hands were in his pockets, waiting patiently for you to finish your business and come out of the house

The two of you take daily walks, a designated time for watching the glistening sun start to rest in it’s cozy blanket that is the night sky

Strolling down the concrete sidewalk hand-in-hand while calmly reflecting on the events of each day

Your mind was thoroughly racing in that bathroom, filled with a gallery of intense thoughts

But the moment you exited through the front door and ran into Bucky’s arms, clutching a pregnancy test close to your chest, all words seemed to escape you

You nervously handed it to him and watched how his eyes widened at the sight of the two lines, his signature smile tugged at his lips until he was grinning ear to ear

“This is real, baby? You ain’t joking with me? Oh my God…”

Immediately, he picked you up and span you around in excitement as you giggled in his arms

Once he put you, the sunshine of his life, back down on the ground after your miniature orbit, his soft lips made themselves a home and kissed all over your darling face

“Ever since I met you, you’ve made me the happiest, luckiest man in the world.”

As long as he has you, he has everything he ever needs

And now you two get to bring a new blessing into the world

A perfect little darling who is half you, half Bucky

Created by the fruition of pure love and raised by a couple who possess hearts full of adoration from the moment they discover the existence of their creation

Every evening from that day forward, he covers every square inch of your growing belly with kisses

He whispers to his little one between pecks with his lips against the soft skin of your belly

“We’ve got a little ball player in there, hm? Gonna be a Yankees infielder one day?”

He’d lay down beneath you with his head against your belly

Purposefully trying to make you laugh, just to see the funny but beautiful jiggle of your stomach

Praising you for how amazing you are, just to see your pretty face light up at all of the compliments

“You’re growing a whole life in ya. Nothing I’ve done is as brave as that. The strongest girl I know, my girl. Mine, mine, mine.”

Bucky is such a girl dad and all of his girls are daddy’s girls through and through

You give birth to your first little one and she’s so tiny swaddled in his arms, the sun shining softly through the hospital room windows.

A little while later, newly acquainted father and daughter are in complete bliss while relaxing in the lounge chair at the corner of the hospital room

He’s shirtless and she’s laying on his chest

He’s adoringly whispering to her but it’s in an octave so soft that only him and his little girl can hear. The most beautiful little secrets that will stay between them forever.

You get a lot of attention post birth too. He’s thanking you, telling you how strong you are, how you’ve changed his life forever, you’re the love of his life, he loves you, he loves you, oh how he loves you.

The second baby comes not too soon after the first and it’s another little girl

Baby number three is another girl

The fourth little darling has plenty of bright eyed big sisters waiting for her at home

There’s a drawer full of hand-me-downs but there is also an array of brand new stuff because every baby is her own person. They all get the same amount of preparation, dedication, love, and care.

Did he used to dream about having a son? Sure.

But girls make amazing little baseball players

And dads make amazing fairy princesses

Bucky becomes very accustomed to tea parties, glitter, sparkles, and having his nails sloppy painted

Pigmented eyeshadow used as blush, contour, and foundation all in one

Some days he gets weird looks when walking around in public, unaware to the fact that his nails are still messily painted in various shades of purple from last night’s beauty salon shenanigans

Handing the cashier some money at the grocery store (his wallet has a photo of all of his girls) and for some reason the rest of the line has gone quiet. “What? I’m not the first person to pay for food here, right?”

Little does he know that him and the lady standing line behind him have matching manicures

You help him rub it off with some rubbing alcohol later that day, knowing it is most likely going to be replaced in a bright, sparkling new color sooner than later

Once you two start having children, it’s hard to get a night alone

As the moonlight hours go on, the bed indents frequently throughout the AMs as more and more little Egans climb into you and Bucky’s bed

Blankies and stuffed animals grasped in their little hands as they gravitate towards the body of warmth that is their peacefully sleeping father

The next morning, when the sun’s warm light starts to flood through the windows and the birds outside have started to chirp a morning’s greeting into the blue sky, you wake up to a family reunion

There is a little girl snoring with her head on Bucky’s chest, they have matching pair of parted mouths and a father-daughter set of similar sounding snores

A dark haired toddler is curled like a kitten at the foot of the bed, her white nightgown resembling the soft baby blanket she was first swaddled in as a newborn all those years ago

You can hardly sit up to see where the rest of the Egans have ended up because John has a strong arm around your waist, he’s been petting your silk nightie ever since you first put it on last evening

As you look at the clock on the nightstand to see what time it is, for some reason there is a three year old curled up on the floor, sleeping under her baby blanket. Who knows how that happened.

On the days where your blue birds don’t wander into your comfy nest at night but instead manage to stay fast asleep in their own beds, expect a stampede in the morning

Their adamant on doing anything to wake Bucky up

One is pulling the sock off of his foot, another is brushing a finger through his eyelashes

His pink cheek gets poked, his eyes get prodded at, and the bed turns underneath turns into a trampoline

But John does not wake up angry, it is quite the opposite

He has his signature cheeky smile, pulling the kids in for morning kisses and hugs as they giggle in his strong hold

He reaches over the Egan pile to give you a kiss on the lips with a soft “good morning, honey” in the raspy morning voice that makes you swoon every time

The Egan girls do not stay asleep for long, they are full of energy and ambition, creativity and fun

There’s been countless instances where Bucky has been the number one victim…I mean, playmate for their shenanigans

He puts on a silly British accent, one that he had to have learned back in the pub at Thorpe Abbots, and is always dedicated to whatever role the girls have given him to play

“Care for some tea, m’lady?” as his oversized hand holds onto a tiny porcelain teapot, pouring some air flavored tea into miniature pink teacups

The Egan house is full of tutus and dresses, teddy bears and baby dolls

A kindergartner tries her hardest to put an earring in his ear, unaware of the fact that his earlobes are indeed not pierced

“Owww. At this point ya might as well get a needle and poke a real hole in it, that’s what this feels like. The jabbing hurts, dolly.”

“A needle? That’s how ya do it?”

“No, no. Wait-���

“You're gonna look soooo pretty, daddy.” She runs as fast as her little legs will take her.

Don’t worry, she does not manage to get her hand on one of your sewing needles. Those are kept up high, away from the tiny little fingers. Bucky’s virgin earlobes manage to live another day.

Picture the image of him laying down on the living room lounge chair with a pile of little Egan girls on top of him, sleeping peacefully like cute kittens.

He smooths their dark hair, and whispers just like he did when each of them were growing in your womb, just like he did when each of them were swaddled little newborns fresh from the hospital

He doesn’t tolerate anyone who makes a backhanded comment about his girls

When you have a car full of little girls, people feel the need to put in their two cents about your family

When you were pregnant with your second? “Let’s hope it’s a little boy. A girl and a boy would be perfect for you two.’

A few years later, you’re strolling down the street with a little girl holding each hand and a swollen pregnant belly displayed by your pretty maternity dress when you receive the backhanded comment by a passerby: “Is the little boy cooking right now? You want someone to pass the last name onto, don’t ya?”

It’s when you have three or more that the “I’m so sorry”s and “You must be disappointed”s start rolling in.

One day, you got back from taking the kids to the grocery store

The moment you see Bucky, all of the Egan girls run to hug him

It’s not long before he has a little girl clinging to one of his legs, one with her arms around his neck, another holding his hand with no intent of letting go

You quietly recounted to him later in the day how the grocery store cashier remarked upon glancing at all the pink, “Your poor husband. You refuse to give him a boy, huh?”

Bucky was ready to drive to the grocery store and give that worker a piece of his mind

He has healthy, happy kids. What’s there to be poor about?

Bucky is protective of his family, even before little Egan’s got added to the family, he’s always been protective of you

If someone ever bothers you, makes you uncomfortable or says something bad about you, he has to confront them

even though if you insist over and over again that it’s no big deal

You two have always served as an inspiration to your girls, a model of a healthy and happy couple

They grew up with a father who is wholeheartedly enamored with the woman he loves

They mature into women who were raised to expect nothing less in their own men

And if they ever forget their worth, they have Bucky Egan right there to remind him

“Don’t waste your tears over him, dolly. You’ve always been a strong, beautiful girl. Ain’t no dumbass highschooler is gonna change that.”

John Egan is the comfiest, more secure shoulder to cry on

He wipes his little girl’s tears and smooths her hair while she cries

He tries to make her laugh with a dumb joke or two

“I knew just by the way that kid walked that that fool was no good. Strolled around with his nose in the air like a…I don't know, a cockatiel? Mhm, a cockatiel. Had his hair done up like one too.”

“Daddd. What’s that even supposed to mean?” Her voice is still shaky and her hold on him is still tight.

“That he aint good enough for my daughter, that’s what.”

Seeing his children sad is one of the things that absolutely breaks him, he’ll mope around the house worried sick until he knows that they’re feeling better

Let’s just say that the next time John Egan comes across the boy who made his daughter cry, that kid does not have the nerve to come near her ever again

That kid shivers when he hears the name “Egan” because of the stern talking to he had after school that one day

“You’re lucky that you’re a dumbass child. But kid or not, that bullshit won’t fly. Ever. Hurt my daughter again, utter her name even, and you’re getting punched in the fucking mouth. That’s a promise, not a threat. Trust me.”

He’d implore the newspaper boy to do it

And the kid would

Because it’s Bucky Egan

The cool dad everyone wishes they had

And someone managed to get on his bad side? They deserve what is coming.

If his daughter is a little older and it’s an actual grown man that breaks her heart? Yeah, that dude actually gets the pleasure of being sucker punched across the face by John Egan himself.

But eventually his little girl’s do find their soulmate, men who treat them right

Bucky can’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he walks one of his beloved children down the church aisle, processing the fact that his little girl isn’t so little anymore

He makes sure to keep a handkerchief on him because there is no doubt in his mind that it will be needed throughout the whole ceremony

It does not truly sink in for Bucky that his girls are growing up until he sees them dolled up in gorgeous white dresses, their faces radiating happiness and joy for the biggest day of their lives

Handing her over to her new husband while light shines through stained glass church windows, family and friends gathered in the pews

and her hand is just as delicate as it was all those years ago when a newborn baby first grasped her dad’s finger

And he promised to love her and protect her for eternity

Emotional father-daughter dances— holding her close while singing the lyrics to a sentimental song, the same one he used to sing to her as a bedtime lullaby all those years ago

He twirls his little angel, all dressed up in tulle and lace

The whole day is full of reminiscing to the past

“Remember how chaotic our house used to be, honey?” He’d whisper to you after the ceremony with a dry laugh and a shake of his head

And chaotic it was

You remember how Bucky would rangle them all up for bathtime, like an oversized border collie herding a pack of tiny lambs

When you try to help him by catching a running toddler in your arms, Bucky immediately puts his hand on your shoulder and stops you

Gently taking your hand in his and leading you to the nearest place to sit, “Sit back and relax, honey. You’ve been working around the house all day. Dad’s in charge of baths today, I promise. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, alright?”

After some reluctance, you ultimately agree to stay uninvolved, but even though you are sat down, you do not stay unentertained

You watch as Bucky holds a kid upside down in his left arm while scooping up another rowdy toddler in his right

Your middle child jumps on his back, holding onto his neck like Jack climbing the beanstalk

It’s moments like that, seeing your husband’s joyful smile while little ones cling onto him like rambunctious monkeys, that you remember why you made John Egan a father

Moments like that make you grateful that you had the privilege of helping him become a dad because...wow is he meant for it

He shines most when around your littles and it’s clear for anyone with eyes to notice that

After an hour, all the kids were bathed and powdered and dressed in comfy nightgowns

You couldn’t help yourself from giggling as John let himself fall back onto the couch with a drenched shirt and bubbles shining in his dark curls

That night you two took a well needed, candlelit bath of your own

It was nothing short of romantic. John rubbed your feet as compliments and praises started to fall from his lips

“I really don’t know how you manage to do all of that when I’m gone, sugar.”

You lean your head back against the tub while responding in a calm voice, “It’s a lot. That’s why I wanted to help you get ‘em in the bath. We’re a team. A unit.”

“Mhmm.” His hand leaves your foot and makes its way to your soft calf, lifting your leg out of the water. He gives the leg a resting place on his broad shoulder, turning his head in order to easily be able to leave a trail of deep kisses on your skin. The kisses stop when you hear a raspy whisper from his lips, “Just wanted to give you a break is all. You know, sometimes I wake up wondering where those kids get all that goddamn energy from.”

“Oh honey, I wonder who they get it from…”

It was years following the birth of your youngest girl—when all of the newborn clothes, blankets, and bibs were finally folded away into the attic with no little one to make use of them any more—that a surprise happens

All of the kids have started and settled into school at this point, leaving some extra freetime during the day…

It’s a boy

He’s the baby of the family

Waddling around in tiny blue overalls and muddied baseball jerseys

Smiling wide twin dimples adorning each of his rosy cheeks

On sunny days, he rides on his father’s shoulders in the backyard while Bucky makes airplane sounds with his mouth, pretending to be the B-17 that’s flying his little boy through the air

He grows up to be so similar to his father, it’s uncanny

The same characteristics, the same smile, the same sense of humor, the same bountiful heart, the same love for baseball

He is not given any favoritism for being the only boy

Every child is different and treated as their own unique human being, raised with the same love and core values no matter the gender

Another lucky girl gets to have her own Egan

And if all of those years spent raising your son into being the best human he can be did him any good, you couldn’t be happier for her

————————————————————————

Ahhhh, I hope you enjoyed. Finally, I’m writing again. I’ll admit that I’m a little rusty but that’s fine. I’m the only one who reads over this stuff, so sometimes I’m afraid that when I post my incomprehensible rambling…it looks like incomprehensible rambling. My inbox is open for requests, comments, and anything else you want to chat about! I like talking to people! :)

[v3nusxsky]

Reader cheating on her husband for her ex-girlfriend, Emily because reader still loves her. So, for a little context— Emily broke up with reader about 2 years ago, reader gets married to this man in hopes that she would forget all about Emily but she never does. Reader drives like, 5 hours to see Emily even though they haven’t seen each other in years because girly still loves her(and so does Emily). - 🐦

Reconnecting 18+

*Authors note~ gahhh this has been sat in my inbox for such a long time! I'm so sorry. But I must say it's lovely to see you again anon*

Trigger warnings~ cheating homophobic parents? Arranged marriage (mentions of forced sex) broken heart long distance, meeting online daddy em subby r strap on finegring praise kink degrading kink bite kink

Prompt~ see ask^^**

*ding*

That was the sound that started this all. Truly it was just another boring day playing house wife to a husband who you felt nothing but hate for. You never wanted to fall into a loveless arranged marriage, but what else could you do when your true love left you in tears at the airport to follow her dreams? If only you'd had enough courage to come out to your family and move with her. She couldn't hide anymore and that's why you both separated. You often thought of her, when the news showed a crime or when you would seen birth and marriage announcements on your socials. Had she finally found someone worthy? Someone who wasn't afraid to be openly hers? Part of you wished she had, but the more carnal selfish part wished she hadn't. But every day you lived with the fact you lost her.

Coming home from the airport broken hearted, left you vulnerable and your parents saw that. The took you in and nursed your broken heart before their intentions came to light. That's when you were introduced to Robin. There wasn't much about him really, successful, rich, arrogant and well typical alpha male attitude. You remained polite until her pulled out the ring. Immediately, you went to reply with a no, and your mother must have knew that because she quickly mimicked your voice to answer an affirmative. And that's how you really got stuck here.

You'd tried to wriggle out of the situation but your family had a power over you, one you weren't quite ready to admit. The day of your marriage they blabbered on about how proud they were of you, how you were making the right choice for the family. You'd be happy as long as you did everything Robin demanded. Your mother made sure you knew your job was to serve your husband, his every need. No wasn't allowed to be a word in your vocabulary. The moment you whined and tried to protest was the moment her right hand walked your cheek. You soon learned that was only the taster of what was to come, starting with your wedding night.

Blinking away the tears from those awful memories where he forcibly took what he wanted, over and over again until he finally got tired, not caring that he was so rough he'd caused you to bleed. After all you were nothing but a dumb possession of his now. That happened every night for years. Which reminds you, the message. Only one person had you number, Robin, to ensure you never planned to leave. So you naturally assumed it was him. But it wasn't. No it was your beautiful past calling.

It started with a simple Facebook message, something you hid from Robin. Every day at 18:59 you would mute her chat and delete it, preventing him from taking your one bit of happiness in this godforsaken world. She found you through Garcia, after a few months of looking, and just wanted to say she missed you. Until she saw him. The pictures where you looked so uncomfortable stood with his hand around your waist. You'd never been overly comfortable with men, so to see you'd married one was a shock. Naturally, Garcia had found more on you, and that was how she knew, this wasn't your choice. That's why she messaged you that day.

After months of talking back and forth between Emily's cases she knew more of your life now. In fact she'd asked you to phone her discreetly after your husband took whatever he wanted from you. He wouldn't care for you but she would do her best from a distance. If you knew she was on a case, you'd text and two seconds later Garcia would be phoning on her behalf. Those calls always made you crave a life with your first and only love. The stories Penelope shared with you sounded so wholesome. It helped a little to know they were there. Being raped by your husband was never easier but they just seemed to help the tiniest bit. And for that you were so glad Garcia managed to find you for Emily.

You still knew in your heart you loved Emily Prentiss, of course you did, but what you didn't know was how you'd ever be together when Robin was still alive. On some of the darker days you'd ponder on staging his suicide just to make sure he could never put his grubby hands on you ever again. But you wouldn't be with Emily in a prison cell. So you held out. Emily didn't find it easier, knowing the abuse you were still experiencing from family and now some kind of husband, really did he even deserve to have that title? You would be much safer in her arms, in her bed as her wife. So that's why she suggested meeting up.

With some extensive planning and a lot of help from the BAU you managed to sort a plan, you'd be seeing Emily this upcoming week. After all these years, you just hoped she would forgive you for your mistake. As soon as Robin left, you set out to travel the five hour journey while you knew the BAU were working on causing havoc in his business. The closer you got the more anxious you became, what if she hated you? Well that was so unrealistic you actually laughed. How could she hate you when she's made all this happen to see you? But you weren't deluded either, this wouldn't be a run away into the sunset together, you'd have to return tonight to surrender to his needs.

The moment you made it into her arms you felt safe, for the first time in years. She held you like you were a delicate flower. Someone crafted by the gods above us. Hand in hand she took you to her hotel room, she really owed her team for the personal day, and she would be straight back out to help catch the unsub tonight. But for now you were here. You'd changed a lot though, your eyes were more dull and your were slimmer than before, you're smile didn't quite reach your eyes and you held yourself like a scared child. All these things broke her heart, they'd really done a number on you, but here and now she'd promise herself to help you escape. If that was what you wanted.

You knew Emily was being cautious of you, she knew what you'd been through over the years so maybe that's why you took the lead, slamming your lips to hers and stunning the other woman. She immediately reciprocated, it's been fair to long since she's had your lips on hers. Buy reality sets in and she needs to be sure you want this. She'll never hurt you like your husband does. "We don't have to" she murmurs resting her forehead against yours as you both tried to catch a breath. "Emily, I need you to touch me. Make me feel your hands. Make me yours Emily, I've always been yours but please. I just want to feel you on me like we use to. That's all I want. Show me what it's meant to be like" you trailed off at the end scared, truly you weren't expecting to be this okay with the thought of sex, it's been something you hate for years but here and now you need her and that was all you knew.

"Okay" caused you to breathe a sigh of relief and immediately start tugging at her clothes only to be stopped by her firm hand, "we take this slow y/n I love you too much to rush this Angel."  That caused you to do a double take. Angel? Love? Such a foreign concept for you. But when she kissed your lips again it was filled with love and care. Immediately, you submitted to her, her lips kissing every inch of skin in sight. But not taking anything off. "Emily please" you whimpered trying to communicate your want. "Shhh sweetheart, I wanna take me time my love, let's get on the bed okay? Remember we can stop anytime no matter what just say the word."

But saying the word would never come. Not with Emily. But still it felt reassuring to have a choice. But as always the raven haired woman was diligent and carful with you, just how she was before. A stark contrast to what you'd been through for years. She wasn't even using her kinks for the first orgasm. Just wanting you to get use to the feel of gentle touch. You had to practically beg her to degrade you. The praise was always wonderful but you really wanted to hear her spew that perfect mix that only she could do.

"Oh sweetheart, you wanna be daddy's good little slut? A precious whore for me hmm" she purred watching your body for signs she'd gone to far, only to be met with your hips bucking against her hand and a desperate plea for more, "daddy" you whined, "make me yours please I need you." By now you were too drunk on the love to care, with Emily everything feels right and safe, and all that does is fuel your need for more. With a particular curl of her fingers that brushed just right against your G-spot you sunk your teeth into the junction between her neck and shoulder. "Oh fuck sweetheart! Good girl, such a good girl for me" she cooed working back down as your body withered beneath her.

"Em, do yo-uh -I" you panted, the confidence you use to have faltering. "You can ask Sweetheart, do I have?"  You blushed a bright red and mumbled, "your strap?" With a nod Emily when to her bedside table and low and behold, the strap laid there just ready to be used. You were surprised she still kept it, perhaps not the same one but a replica. Inserting the smaller end into her own needy cunt she strapped up watching as you liked your lips. "Do you want to wet it darling?" Panic flashed through your eyes, that would hurt. "Shhh you don't have to, I remember you use to like that, that's why I asked Angel."

Just like that the fear is soothed, Emily won't hurt you. But you stand by your answer and she secured a small bottle of lube to run along the shaft before teasing your slit the the tip of the faux cock. Her hand came to join yours, intertwining your fingers gently. "Ready?" She murmured looking into your beautiful eyes, your pupils blown so wide she could hardly see the colour anymore. "Ready " you mumbled before she pushed into your fluttering hole.

Unlike with Robin, this didn't hurt, no. You felt a serge of pleasure course down your body as you adjusted to her size. "Oh god I've missed you" you whimpered  learning up to tug her closer. The feeling of warm spots on her shoulder concerned Emily, "sweetheart? Do you want to stop?" You couldn't help but whimper a no. You truly didn't but this was just so perfect, you didn't want to leave.

Emily was always so precise in her thrusts, a slow and gentle rhythm that hit all the right spots, you  two made for each other as you tumbled over the edge together. This was everything and more but the best part was when she cleaned everything away and just held you close, threading her nimble fingers through your hair. "You're perfect" you mumble still I'm your haze of sub space, "I should've left with you all those years ago. I'm so sorry Emi" you sobbed as your shoulders shook with the pure weight of the emotion.  "Hey hey hey, I get why you couldn't. And I know what that bastard is doing to you love, with your safe so I have the team waiting for your word to take you away from him. He won't ever have to touch you again. "

That was news to you, clearly stunned you looked at her. "Garcia found out his company has links to our Unsub, that's how he's finding the girls. Robin has multiple clubs trafficking girls as young as sixteen" she explained delicately, making sure not to hold you  as she didn't want you feeling restricted. "He would go away?" Was all you had. "Of course, for a long time sweetheart. You'd be safe."  The two words weren't said but were implied, "with me." You'd always be safe with Emily, so you have the nod. Emily hurrying to make her phone call, "Garcia? Tell  the team we are a go" she rushed into the receiver. Clearly Garcia had said something but Emily was quick to shut her down and end the call. "Don't you have to go and help them Em?" You pondered, you knew what your husband was capable of and so did she. "The only place I need to be is with you. I'm never gonna lose you again." A few hours later Emily got a text saying everything went well and they even saved a few girls. You were safe now and ready to finally be with her.

Word count~2359

[rainstormwrite]

Good news.

Hello, everyone! I come bearing incredibly good news…

I've finally finished writing the update.

Not only that, but I've also already rewritten POVs and adjusted clunky scenes, meaning that the update is ready to be released.

I would've probably released it without warning you all, so it would've been a surprise, but I just want to give you some heads-up.

Even though the whole project is now over 260k words, the actual amount of content that was added in terms of singular playthrough is somewhere around 15 - 25 full pages (very approximately since I've already lost count because of all that branching and re-reading the same content over and over again), depending on the route and some other variables. As you can guess, this is due to the overwhelming amount of branching, the different personalities of the MC, the changes between said personalities, and stuff like that. To add to that, a big cause for such a large word count increase is the number of times I had to copy and paste some parts of the scene to make slight changes. So, in many places, the content is not entirely new, but rather slightly altered because, at that moment, I couldn't find an optimized approach to make some scenes changeable depending on your choices without copy-pasting them.

So, this whole situation is not very typical, so to speak, because in some other cases, this amount of words would've sufficed for a whole book already. But, in my case, it's just… one conversation. Yes, you've heard that right.

Basically, all that this update contains is the encounter with the crowd that the MC sees after exiting the hut. The new content ends right after the said encounter ends.

After you choose your approach to said conversation (personality of the MC at that moment, put in other words) you then also choose one of the three routes (tell lie #1, tell lie #2, tell the truth). After that, you only get some choices when something that may compel your MC to change what they wanted to do mid-way happens.

I want to highlight that, you don't really get to decide what exactly your MC says on each page. The tone of how they speak and their opinions about subjects and people are all derived from the prior choices you made, starting from whether your MC shook Theo's hand and told the group the truth and ending with whether your MC went into the tunnel and what they thought of Philip's/Burchard death… The MC's behavior may change very drastically just because of one choice you made earlier.

I'll admit, this is a very experimental approach from my side, but that allows me to shape your MC into a full-fledged, believable character without it feeling like you don't have control over them. Maybe my words don't convey my point exactly, but I guess you'll see it with your own eyes.

There are different sets of choices to make in the routes, even though sometimes they may be similar. Each route uncovers some information that the others didn't, so it adds to the replayability.

All in all, this may be a somewhat polarizing update due to my decisions, but I fully understand that and am of course willing to hear your feedback about the new content.

Give me somewhere around 24 hours so that I can set everything up and roll out the update to you all.

Also, there were some old questions in my inbox that I couldn't answer because, quote 'your blog was restricted by our anti-spam control' (I found that out one month and a half later after sending a ticket to Tumblr's support), so here are those questions:

Yeah, I'm okay. In fact, now I'm okay more than ever due to me finally finishing writing this update.

Thanks for catching that! It's fixed now!

Sorry, you two, that I'm answering you only now.

[olomaya]

My Inbox is Clear!

I had 50+ messages in my box and it was causing me such anxiety because I was avoiding Tumblr so I didn't have to look at them and as a result the number kept growing. So finally, I just went through them.

I had over 50 messages. I posted responses to 3, responded privately to maybe 4-5. The rest of those 40+ messages ALL fit into these 4 categories below so to save time, I will respond to all of them here.

Category 1: You sent a request, to which my response is either:

I'm not interested in doing that (45%)

I am interested in doing that but because the project is so far down my list, someone else may get to it or may want to do it and I don't want to give the impression I'm actively working on it because the reality is I may never get to it. (40%)

I am interested in doing that and AM doing it but it may not be something I want to or can share so I'm not going to say anything right now (15%)

Category 2: You didn't read the instructions/documentation that came with the mod, to which my response is:

Read the fucking instructions

You may be thinking to yourself, "I did read the instructions!" No, you didn't. I know you didn't because your question is answered in the instructions. Maybe you skimmed through the instructions and if so, this is your sign to go back and reread the instructions because your answer is there.

Rant: I don't write the instructions for fun. Some of them are several pages long. If you don't want to take the time to read through it, that's fine but also know that I'm not going to take the time to answer your questions when I've already taken my time to write out the answer to your questions in the instructions.

Category 3: You want to know "when are you releasing x":

Not sure babe. When the vibes are there. But also, please don't assume that I am planning to release everything I show off. Sometimes a girl just wants to show off and that's okay. (Note: Of course, if I said I would release it, then you can assume I will.)

Category 4: You only wrote "x mod isn't working! help!"

Okay, cool. Thanks for letting me know.

[ifidiedinadream]

If no one did it yet, take this as a request for Joel/Olli/Reader. 👀

(I don’t wanna seem greedy since I just got my request, so please please take your time! The idea of a threesome with them was just too hot to not send something in 🥵)

Maybe Joel needs some "comfort" after a stressful day and the reader and Olli decide to take care of him.

Somehow pictured Olli riding him and the reader sitting on his face, but feel free to do whatever you want with it. 😌

the parentheses make me laugh cause this is a request ive had in my inbox since 2022, so i did in fact take my time 😂😂

hope you enjoy 🩷

also on ao3

When you get home, it’s suspiciously quiet.

There’s no one in the living room and no one in the kitchen, although Joel must’ve come back by now.

Curious, you head over to the bedroom. The lights are off and the sky is pallid and gray. There’s someone sitting on the bed, but it isn’t Joel.

Joel is lying on Olli’s lap. Olli is whispering things to him, words so quiet you can’t hear them; his fingers rack Joel’s hair above and behind his ear.

“Hey,” you say, voice quiet as the atmosphere feels all but solemn. “Is everything okay?”

Olli flashes you a smile, the weak light coming from the window making his eyes glow. “Yeah.” He looks down at Joel tenderly. Joel doesn’t move. “He’s just had a long day.”

On the calendar in the kitchen, today’s date was marked in black with various scribbled words – appointments you never even tried to read. Last Sunday, Joel told you this week would’ve been hectic, and when you woke up this morning to go to work, Joel had already left.

You crouch down by the edge of the bed so you can be on eye-level with Joel. His eyes are tired, opening slowly whenever they close.

“What can we do for you?” you ask, stroking his arm.

Joel doesn’t answer. He moves his head on Olli’s thighs to get closer to you. He’s asking for a kiss, and you give it to him with a smile. Olli’s hand is still caressing his hair.

“What about we try to cheer you up?” Olli asks. Joel sits up slowly, like he just woke up. His hair is a mess.

“Okay,” he says softly. You turn on the lamp on the nightstand, and it casts a warm hue on the left side of Joel and Olli. They look beautiful - Olli’s suggestion suddenly sounds like the best idea ever.  

“Lie down, then.”

Joel does. He watches with large eyes as you lie down next to him, your hands wandering his body, pressing since you just can’t get enough of touching him. Joel’s lips search yours again, and you kiss him, your hand finally settling on his lower belly.

“I want – I need both of you.” Joel looks up at Olli, doe eyes large and blue. You move his hair away and mouth at his neck. Olli undoes his belt and pants.

You’re quick to find Joel’s soft cock once it’s exposed. You take it in your hand and toy with it, your touch light and slow. Olli comes to lie on the other side of Joel, hand in his own jeans.

“Relax, baby,” you say, “we’re here for you.”

Olli captures Joel’s lips in his own. Joel’s cock is hardening under your touch, his hand on Olli’s jaw, your mouth behind his ear.

Every tiny piece of Joel’s body (except his cock) softens as the tension accumulated throughout the day abandons him; his muscles are no longer contracted, he’s not hard under his skin anymore, and when you move to observe his face, his forehead is smooth, his eyebrows separated.

At some point, Olli’s hand joins yours around Joel’s cock. He claims the base, whereas you’re still working the tip, playing around with his foreskin and precum. Joel lets out a moan.

“Want me to ride you?” Olli asks against his lips, and it’s so quiet you barely hear it. You feel the vibrations of Joel’s purr of assent against the skin of his neck. Olli loses his jeans and climbs on top of Joel’s legs.

Joel sits up and your lips are no longer touching him. You hand Olli the lube you keep inside a drawer, and as he gets ready, you undress yourself, unable to take your mind off how pink and plump Joel’s lips have been looking.

Joel was enraptured by sight of Olli using the lube and making sure he was loose enough, but now he’s eyeing you, his gaze touching your whole body like a caress. You lick your lips.

“Wanna taste you,” Joel says, the low, yet soft tone making your guts twist in pleasure. “Wanna be good for you.”

Before you can voice your appreciation, Joel closes his eyes and lets out a rich sigh through his parted lips. His eyes roll back, and he turns to Olli when he can open them again. Olli is sitting on Joel’s dick, expression a little out of it, and they both look so pretty your hand goes to touch between your legs on its own accord.

You choose to take advantage of Joel’s wish.

Olli starts rolling his hips, moaning low, very low, making Joel’s face contract in pleasure. When he finds a stable rhythm, you go in between them, interrupting the languid gazes they’re exchanging, the dark, intense stare Olli is beholding Joel with. Joel doesn’t seem to mind.

He grabs your hips, grip firm, so he can place you right in front of him the way he prefers. You hold on to the headboard, leaning over so that the angle is perfect. Joel’s breath comes out in labored huffs against your skin. One of his hands leaves your hips and the thumb comes to tug at your skin, exposing your clit from its hood. His tongue is on it a second later and it’s incredibly intense from the start.

Your grip on the headboard tightens, knuckles white. From where you are, when you look down, all you can see is Joel’s lashes and nose. Joel is licking you like you’re his last meal, his tongue only sometimes faltering because a moan gets stuck in his throat, with Olli bouncing on his dick just right, his low grunts coming again and again from behind you.

Joel comes before you, even if his tongue working like that made you think you could be the first. Joel presses his face to your cunt, muffling a long moan in your skin, his hands first tightening their grip on you and then relaxing at once. You sense Olli move behind you. Joel pulls away to breathe, but it’s just a moment, for he’s working your clit again immediately, only this time he’s putting his entire soul into it.

You groan, one hand leaving the headboard to hold his head close. His tongue works in circles, and when it stops it’s only so he can wrap his mouth around your clit and suck. You pull his hair, cursing under your breath. A finger comes to probe at your hole, and, finding it wet enough, enters without hesitation.

It’s Olli’s finger, fucking you lazily as Joel eats you out. It pushes you over the edge like nothing – you become a moaning, writhing, convulsing mess on Joel’s face, his strong hands keeping you as still as possible as he keeps licking you until the orgasm is over.

Your legs give in afterwards, and you sit down on Joel’s abdomen, still panting. He looks flushed, out of breath, but he has a dumb little smile on his face that you can’t help but kiss.

From behind, Olli’s arms come to wrap around you. You tilt your head where he’s come to press his body against your back.

“Your turn now.”

[cynicalmusings]

Hello hello a professional cymp has precipitated into your ask inbox and it's time to brain rot about CYNO

/hurt/comfort incoming, mention of reader getting injured but not too graphic/

*cracks knuckles*

(please forgive me if this sucks I feel a little sick rn and don't feel on top of my form)

You and Cyno are reluctant travel partners. You had first crossed paths in a camp of eremites, where Cyno had instantly drawn his spear at you and commanded you to state your business. You, a trained fighter, were no pushover, and you met his steely eyes gaze with an equally hard one of your own, and refused to yield. You raised your own weapon at him, and demanded he leave your quarry alone. Cyno's eyes narrowed, and he repeated himself in a flat tone of voice with a deadly edge to it, giving you one last chance to run before he rained hell down on you.

Of course, you were not to be put off so easily, and you sparred. To his surprise, you were able to keep up with his parries and thrusts, and an unsatisfying thirty minutes later, neither of you had managed to lay a scratch on the other, shallow breaths heaving both of your shoulders.

In the midst of vicious jabs and strikes, Cyno interrogates you, demanding a reason for your vigilantism. You icily respond that you don't answer to anyone, certainly not to him, pawn of the Akademiya that you said he was. He raises his spear to once again challenge you, when he's distracted by the sound of the returning Eremites.

They had taken the opportunity to run for cover and returned with reinforcements. Now surrounded on all sides, you and Cyno were stood back to back, weapons poised to attack.

"we'll continue our conversation later," he says, with a sidelong glance. "Try staying alive until this ends."

"right back at you" you return, and in a flash, both of you shoot off in opposite directions to make quick work of the menacing group.

The immediate threat eliminated, you both turn around to acknowledge the other's fighting strength before going your separate ways.

However, that wasn't the last you saw of him. After a couple such encounters always while exterminating Eremite camps, you finally decide to put your heads together and talk about your motives.

You tell him you were searching for the suppliers in the knowledge capsule smuggling case, as people in your own village had been taken away and subjected to divine knowledge extraction. Cyno narrows his eyes, and realises you have a lead on the exact same case he's working on. You both decide to share your intel and travel together, now united by a common cause.

Mind you, he's not very warm or friendly even now - he's aware that you're an independent actor and that your motives aligned only temporarily. You journey on through the shifting desert sands in stony silence most of the time, stopping only to share rations or pore over the map together.

Indeed, perhaps that's how everything would've gone if not for an unexpected turn of events.

You tore into the mercenary camp as usual, your sword striking swiftly and precisely. What you had not counted on, however, was that this camp was colluding with the Fatui. And that they had been supplied with advanced ranged offensive machinery, the speed of whose ammunition far outpaced even your trained reflexes.

You and Cyno fought to push them back, until one of the snipers gets a clean shot into your back. Cyno sees your eyes widen as your weapon clatters to the ground and you plant face first into the sand. His eyes flash dangerously. He's a composed man, but that was the closest he ever got to outwardly expressing that he was truly angry.

No words do justice to what he did to those soldiers. It might be safe to say that calamity befell the desert that day.

Cursing under his breath, he immediately hoists you up from the sand, thinking quickly. He carried but sparing first aid supplies on his person; and he couldn't say that he knew how to deal with the bullet, still emanating elemental energy, buried in your back. He was many things, but a medical professional he was not.

Tighnari. Tighnari would know what to do.

He gingerly hoists you up on his back, careful not to jostle you, and begins the three day trek back to Gandharva Ville.

You don't awaken, but your forehead grows hot and a cold sweat trickles down your forehead. In the firelight under the inky desert sky, Cyno looks at you with an expression he's never worn before.

His usually sharp eyes are soft, and indeed, save for the crease in his brow, his visage is almost... Tender?

He silently soaks a small towel in the cold water of the oasis, and lays it on your head in a fruitless attempt to calm the fever.

He lays his back against the tree trunk, his eyes trained on your motionless form, lost in thought.

Soon, he hears a soft murmuring. Ears pricked, he glances around; his hand tightly grasping the hilt of his spear, shoulders stiffened.

It comes again. And then, he feels his heart jump, when he distinctly makes out the syllables of his name.

He snaps up to look at you. Sure enough, you have a pained expression on your face, and your lips are murmuring his name as you lie in the clutches of a feverish, dreamless stupor.

He hesitates. Cyno has no delusions about his own bedside manner, that was best left to people like Tighnari who actually knew what they were doing.

That said.. he's somehow.. come to respect your intelligence. And your perseverance. And your single-minded focus on bringing wrongdoers to justice, even at great personal cost to yourself.

Not unlike himself.

He bites his lip nervously. You didn't deserve to writhe in pain in this unforgiving desert night.

He offers comfort the only way he knows how: he reaches out to take your hand, and gently clasps it. He's seen Tighnari do this to Collei when she had feverish dreams; surely this would help, right?

Your hand clasps his with a pressure he didn't think possible from a sleeping person, and for the first time, for the very first time ever, Cyno's eyes widen; and is that a touch of redness on his cheeks?

It's hard to tell. There is no light in the desert, and even the campfire burns low now.

//I just realised that I would probably like to write this out as a full fledged fic so I'll stop here for now, but I hope you like this idea!!

//apologies this is unedited and my writer brain is at 144p resolution rn

//if you like it then when I finish this as a formatted fic I could probably tag you in it? Let me know, and if not, no problem! 😅

Have a great day/night!

yOU’RE APOLOGISING FOR THIS??

i. need. MOREEEEEEEEEE

he… he’s so soft and… him taking your hand…

if you do continue it, please tag me! i’d love to see the rest of it!

[rist-ix]

at this point I’m not above begging the old gods for a tbhtbh update and I’m sure as hell not above begging you so please please-

(At least a snippet???)

okay so there’s a whole bunch of asks in my inbox asking for a snippet and I keep putting it off to answer them, because surely I should answer them when I actually have written on? And surely that’s gonna be soon, right?? Right????? But now it’s been months and I’m haunted by all the nice words and funny jokes and cool asks that I never answered because UGH my brain hAS NOT DELIVERED and I didn’t want to show up empty handed, u know? my anxiety is building and my time to write is shrinking and I am A Mess, BUT!!! I’ve also decided to say fuck it and just throw out the stuff I’ve ignored for a good few weeks. So at everyone whose asks I’ve ignored, please know that I am tormented by shame and adhd in equal measures, a never-ending cycle of horror and procrastination.

Anyway. Magix City my beloved!!!

His roar of fury follows her into the hallway, but she doesn’t slow down. Her one chance, her final chance, is now. She knows from Darcy herself that the witch isn’t scrying for her when she’s with Valtor, and she knows from Stormy that the handcuffs’ lifetime is dependent on how strong the captive is. Right now, Valtor is much, much more powerful than her.

She’s paced these corridors for days, weeks. She has gotten lost, confused, and distracted in these hallways, but she has also grown familiar. And now, tonight, it all pays off.

She finds the way. Finds the portal. Far behind her she can hear Valtor call her name, can feel the bond surging with regained magic as he gives chase, and she knows that her window is closing.

Those last few meters feel like eternity. Any moment his hand will close around her shirt, her arm, her neck; any moment she will be torn back and everything will be over. She thinks of Stella, of Flora, of all her friends and how they’d laughed at Alfea, strolled through the city. I’m coming, she thinks. I promise.

She can feel the building heat of a spell behind her.

But it’s too late.

She sets foot into the thin, glowing circle of the portal, and then there’s the blinding light of teleportation.

Just like that, she’s through. She’s out.

The brilliant magic of the portal plucks her from the cold, pale sphere that is Domino, catapults her through thousands of lightyears of space, and spits her out on black asphalt.

She fails to catch her fall, her momentum causing her to roll over her shoulder and bruise her knees on the rough ground. When she comes to a stop, her palms are scratched open and there’s a little bit of blood running down her shins. She hisses in pain and tears her hair back, looking around, preparing to fight off whoever comes through after her.

But he doesn’t appear.

There’s only the dark, rain-wet street before her. Reflecting the colourful lights of the skyscrapers lining it, the streetlamps, the tail-lights of hovering cars zooming by. A rainbow of vibrant blues and purples and yellows, of red and pink and so, so many others. Neon signs and brightened windows cutting through the cloudy night sky, still roiling with the promise of rain.

Magix City. She’s in Magix City.

She’s home.

A wave of sound crashes down on her and she falls right back onto her scraped knees, too stunned to cover her ears. After the long, unnatural silence of Domino, everything is so loud. Angry, beeping horns of cars in the distance, engines whining and roaring, the pitter-patter of a million steps as people mill about on the sidewalks, heeled shoes against wet stone. A prism full of colors in just their clothes, their hair, their faces as they stream by.

Even at night Magix is a bustling metropolis, full of life and noise and light.

She’s assaulted by so many impressions all at once she feels like she might go blind and deaf from it, and still she can’t look away. Three years she hasn’t been here. Almost four, now.

It’s so, so beautiful. In that shrill, dazzling, vibrant way only Magix can be. She feels just like she did then, when she’d first set foot into its labyrinthine, multilayered streets. Like she is on the cusp of something new, something chaotic and magical. Limitless and never-ending, never-resting.

Freedom. She’s free.

A blaring horn snaps her back to the present, and she whirls around only to shield her eyes from the blinding headlights of a car. Someone’s yelling for her to get up, get off the street, are you insane? She jumps to her feet and realizes that she’s in the middle of the road, in her pajamas, and cars have had to hit the brakes or they would have run her over.

Adrenaline hot in her veins, she stumbles back towards the sidewalk, looking around. People have stopped walking and are pointing at her, some talking to each other behind raised hands. Some look worried, some are snickering, and some look alarmed. Shocked.

She remembers that her picture had been plastered across screens and billboards for years, combined with a shady excuse and a bounty that no sane person could have spent in their entire lifetime.

And that Magix is crawling with Valtor’s marks.

No sooner had she finished the thought than she feels the gaze of dozens of eyes snap to her, all at once. Faces in the crowd turning towards her as if magnetized, their eerie synchrony sending goosebumps down her spine.

There’s no life in their stare. Because they’re not the ones looking.

She doesn’t wait for them to come any closer. She ducks her head and starts sprinting, slipping through the gaps in the crowd like a fish against the current. From the corners of her eyes she can see them start to move, to follow her, and her thundering heartbeat seems to choke her in her throat. She hasn’t thought this through at all, there’s a reason she never returned here with Stella. But the only thing on her mind when she’d stepped through that portal had been her friends, how happy they’d been, and the magical gateway had dropped her at the closest match to that nebulous feeling it could find. In the middle of a street, at the heart of this city they had loved.

And now Valtor knows she’s here.

A hand snatches her wrist, and another grabs her hair, marks swarming towards her from all corners of the city. She cries out in pain and hears people start to shout in confusion, but even if they wanted to risk helping her, they wouldn’t have the power to get through the mind-controlled puppets.

But she does, she remembers as the marks try to pull her back, push her down.

A blaze of light and she is bursting free, fluttering wings carrying her up above them and the crowd. Glittering cyan settling on her skin, golden tiara flashing in her hair, and if there had been any doubts in anyone as to who she is, they are now shown irrefutable proof.

[wardogsong]

Good bye. I hope everyone who bullied me is fucking happy. I hope everyone who got my account deleted is happy. I'm done.

cw: mentions of self-harm and mutilation under the readmore, and also just basic dash consideration. I realize I have not been here in months, owe everything and everyone, etc... which adds an extra layer of mind-bending hilarity to this all.

Stray,

You are both breaking my heart and wearing my last nerve out. I'm only human. I'm not a saint. While I am genuinely very sorry that tumblr deleted your account, did you read the email that they sent to you? I know that you screenshotted it. You have it posted right now on this iteration of your blog.

Truth be told? I don't know if anyone reported your account. I can say with a clear conscience that I didn't. I had no reason to. The last I interacted with you and/or that account was when I was in the comments of your pinned post, talking to you there.

I am not exactly certain that your account would have required much reporting, to be honest. I think that you are imagining a bandwagon of people joining together to work against you, given the way you are currently in several inboxes, calling people bullies and so on. Again, I can say with a completely clear conscience, I have never participated in any such link up or bandwagon against you, or anyone else.

So let's keep it a buck. You do somewhat routinely post about the things mentioned in that email. It's your blog, you have a right to talk about the state of your mental health if you want to, but in this case, it was tumblr itself taking notice and action of the frequency of that, and what specifically you were saying.

Hell, let's go back in time a bit. You and I literally met and became mutuals BECAUSE you posted a farewell note on your blog, several deletions and remakes ago. It was written as if it were a done deal, and having been familiar with your url in the fandom tags, I was immediately worried for you, stranger that you were, and desperate to reach out to you hoping it would come before a too-late kind of moment. You know what the saddest part of that search for you was? Encountering people who did claim to know you and who said, with great shame, that this was somewhat regular for you.

You know it too, because even in our conversations you mentioned having been blamed or accused of attention seeking in the past and having callouts written about you.

The answer is right there, Stray. Your blog was deleted for mentions of self-harm. You may not have been glorifying it or promoting it, but you posted about it enough that you finally tripped a flag somewhere. That's it. That's all it is.

As for the rest? This is the second time you're calling me a bully. Yet again, I am asking you to prove it. Please show me the instances in which I bullied you, or the actions that I took against you. What, exactly, did I do? Because to the best of my recollection? I spent a while trying to be your friend, trying to be as supportive as I could be, introducing you to other friends of mine to help widen your circle, gaming with you, plotting things to write with you and then the one night I couldn't stay up late to talk with you because I was literally recovering from being incredibly ill AND had to take my son to an appointment the next day... ended up with you having sent me overnight screenshots of deleting your blog and either blocking or unfriending me on discord. Which one of those things was the bullying, Stray? Because the way I see it? You're the one who ditched me the second I couldn't be of use to you.

last but not least, rumor out of the hell part of this country says you have a problem with sharing mutuals. you don't like it when someone you like writes or interacts with someone you don't like and that may be the root cause of your distress. if so, rumors of my and @lt-ghxst's relationship are both greatly exaggerated and misunderstood. it's not my fault I tagged and bagged him, as that is what you do with wild gators. however, if he has slighted you, I don't take any responsibility for him. he's untrained and not yet housebroken. it's a miracle if I can get him to only piss outdoors. he bites. he's ornery and nasty-tempered. Honestly, he should probably be put to sleep but I am determined to break him in.

[mvrtaiswriting]

i have a song request! mary on a cross with giorno? specifically the part where it goes “your beauty never ever scared me” bc he is so so pretty but others might find it intimidating bc of his position. maybe for a plot it could be something like reader and giorno running away bc of the lyric “if you choose to run away with me.” idk, just an idea! do what you wish with this💕💕

Giorno Giovanna | Your beauty never scared me.

this has been sitting in my inbox / drafts for the longest time - it's embarrassing really. but it's finally here and i really wish it'll match your expectations, hoping that it would also grant me an apology! it's been ages since i last wrote for jojo's characters so i also need to apologise if this feels rusty! enjoy!!!

word count: 996

trigger warnings: slight mentions of lust, guns, usual jojo violence. (pls do come forward if i am missing something).

please feel free to like, reblog and leave a comment - i'd very much appreciate it. / click here for more of my works.

"I am not expecting you to understand." Giorno said in his usual firm voice, not taking his eyes away from his luggage which was frenetically being stuffed with clothes, and books, and weapons - and anything he could take with him.

If you were small enough to fit in there, if it was simply up to him - you'd be in the luggage too. Not because he perceived you as object, nor because he didn't respect you enough; he'd simply take you with him in this crazy ride. He could bear leaving everything behind, but you. Yet, he knows better than asking you to run-away with him. After sabotaging the entire gang organisation the two of you were both part of to avenge his teammates, Giorno knew that they'd be looking for him under every rock - he knew that they'd be unleashing the worst weapons against him in an attempt to kill him. He was undoubtedly strong, and definitely feared - but there was no way he could escape this. He had to go; he never wanted to become a gang member in the fist place.

"Maybe if you cared to explain.." was your stingy answer, as you observe his frenetic movements.

Giorno remained silent, a long sigh escaping his lips was the only answer he was able to give. He knew you were just as strong and just as used to the criminal life - but becoming fugitives would be way more than dangerous than that. He figured he preferred knowing you were alive and well then selfishly keeping you by his side and risking your life. He already put you in danger several times in the past, all because of his stupid plans - but at least his crew mates were still there to protect you, if needed. Now that they're all gone, he didn't want to tempt fate again. Not with your life.

"It was a pleasure, really." he finally said, zipping his luggage close and finally daring to look at you.

His blue eyes finally looking at you again sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to fix your posture in an attempt to overcome the sensation.

"Excuse me?" you said, realising that was his way to say goodbye to you. Raising an eyebrow, you walked closer to him and slammed your hand on the top of your luggage. Was he really going away without telling you anything? Did he really close it off like that, as if you were just another stupid, meaningless member of the organisation?

"Don't. Just pretend you never met me at all." he said with grinned teeth, his words hurting him more than anyone else.

Hearing this words made your soul shake, like the light of a candle when a soft wind blows - it won't be enough to turn it off, but its flame would become flebile, and weak. You could have sworn you could feel your blood running through your veins and directly pumping your muscles as adrenaline slowly built up in your muscles, triggering your fight or flight response. A part of you would have probably punched him - honestly. But what were you experiencing was deeper than that, a sentiment more clever than violence but that hurt just as much as a well-assigned punch would.

It was heartbreak. You couldn't believe Giorno really pronounced those words - erasing everything the two of you have experienced together: grief, love, lust, fear, excitement. As if nothing ever mattered to him, as if all those sleepless nights entangled in his bed and talking about the deepest part of your mind were nothing but a fun hobby that was nice until it lasted.

"Those games won't work with me, Giorno. You have no right to cut me out of your life like this -" you replied through grinned teeth, keeping your tone low to avoid alerting anyone who might be outside of Giorno's room.

Giorno's eyes pierced right through you once again as his expression softens, finally coming closer to you and gently placing an hand on your cheeks - in an attempt to show you just how much you meant to him. He knew just how much his touch reassured you, even though he was the one who needed it the most. Ready to move his hand away from your face, Giorno stopped your hand from reaching his.

"I am going away." was the only thing he said, his eyes still locked on yours.

"I'm coming with you then." you were quick to reply, knowing exactly what he meant.

Giorno shook his head rapidly, a sarcastic smile on his lips as he took a step back from you.

"No. I need to go but you don't. They'll do everything they can to get my head and hang it on their walls." he said coldly. "Let me say goodbye to you whilst you're still safe and well. I can't bear losing someone else. Let me say goodbye whilst you're still alive." he added as his eyes glimmered, a thin veil of teardrop making the blue of his iris seem like tidal waters.

Although it hurt to see him like this, you couldn't help but smile. Seeing so vulnerable was rare, and you treasured those little insights into his heart so much. You smiled, acknowledging once again just how much Giorno underestimated what you felt for him; he was so clever, yet so naive sometimes.

"Oh honey.." you said, caressing his lips with your thumb. "Danger is part of your charm and your beauty never ever scared me." you smiled again, winking at him and leaving a soft kiss on his plumped, pink lips. Reciprocating the kiss, Giorno pulled you closer to him and held you tight in his embrace, letting his carnal desires take control of his actions and breathing you in completely.

"Are you sure?" he asked, biting your bottom lip, trying to catch his breath after your long kiss.

"When are we leaving?" you replied.

[allylikethecat]

More matty sickfics please!!

Hello Kind Anon! I know you spent this back in December and I took ten thousand million years to write something, but alas here we are, I have finally completed a Sick Fic Tumblr Prompt fill. It might not be *exactly* what you are looking for, for which I apologize (I promise I am working on something about the IV situation at the end of SATVB) BUT I am happy that I managed to write *something* and am going to try really hard to get through some more of the wonderful prompts in my inbox now that I have finished the January OTP Prompt situation. Thank you again for the request! Let me know your thoughts (and if it's really not what you wanted please let me know and I'll try and write you another one!) Thank you for the support and have a great rest of the week- it's almost the weekend and happy February!

❤️Ally

Matty sickfic

“We’re rescheduling the show,” said George grimly, shaking his head even as Matty opened his mouth to argue. 

“And don’t you even try and start,” George said, silencing him before he even had a chance to try and speak. He crossed his arms over his chest like a pouting child and sunk deeper into the blankets.

The concierge doctor, George felt bad, he didn’t remember his name, that had been called in to attend to him chuckled, adjusting the IV drip that Matty was attached too. Matty winced, the movement changing the flow of the cold fluids being delivered straight to his bloodstream. George wasn’t sure what was in the IV bag and he was almost afraid to ask, the answer would tell him just how sick Matty really was.  

“I’ll be back to check on you in about an hour and change your drip,” he said kindly, “why don’t you try and get some rest?” 

Matty tried to sigh dramatically but his theatrics were interrupted by a coughing fit, the sound wet and painful as his chest rattled, causing both George and the doctor to wince. Matty curled further in on himself. The air smelt of sickness and the cool, minty, scent of menthol was heavy in the room from the Vicks George had rubbed onto the skin of Matty’s chest. It made George’s eyes water as he sat down on the edge of the bed, hovering over Matty, as the doctor took his leave. Matty hadn’t even complained about the Vicks, his hatred of menthol well known, too congested to smell it even though it’s purpose was to clear his sinuses. 

“Do you want me to call down and get you some soup?” George asked, his heart aching with the desperate need to be helpful, to fix Matty somehow, to make everything better. 

“No,” Matty rasped, “hurts to swallow.” The and talk went unsaid. 

He looked proper miserable, his nose red and irritated, his eyes wet and glassy with fever. It felt like as time went on, Matty became sicker and sicker, looking worse and worse instead of getting better. George bit his lip, and wondered if the concierge doctor their tour manager had summoned to the hotel had been the right call. He wondered if he should have insisted on taking Matty to the hospital himself when he woke to him clutching his tight chest, coughing so hard he could barely take a breath, tears streaming down his face as he wheezed. 

George opened his mouth, he wanted to argue that he needed to eat something, he needed to keep his strength up. But the doctor’s instructions rang in his ears. Get some rest. 

“Wait,” Matty wheezed, reaching out weakly to grab at the sleeve of George’s hoodie when he went to stand, intending on heading into the living room of their suite, leaving Matty to get some rest. “Stay.” 

“Okay,” said George, folding easier than he knew he should. He could never deny Matty anything, especially when he was ill. He kicked off his trainers and swung his legs up onto the bed, adjusting his position so that he was leaning against the headboard, careful of the IV line attached to Matty. 

Matty let out a little huff, and started wiggling, positioning himself so that he was half on top of George, half on the mattress, his head resting on George’s chest. He looked so young, so helpless and miserable that it made George’s heart ache as he ran his fingers through Matty’s sweaty, gray streaked curls. He sniffled, nuzzling his face into the divot between George’s pecks, the fabric of George’s long sleeve washer worn tee shirt soft against his cheek. George had a feeling that when he inevitably stood up he was going to have a wet drool and snot patch on his chest. It was objectively gross, but George didn’t care because it was Matty. He could never find anything related to Matty gross and the man had thrown up on him, more than once. 

“I don’t want to disappoint the kids,” rasped Matty, not lifting his head from George’s chest as he spoke. George felt his heart break all over again. Matty was always giving pieces of himself away, always pushing himself to the absolute limit to try and make other people happy. He gave himself away and away until there was hardly any pieces of himself left. 

“I think they’ll understand,” said George softly, “you can barely hold your head up, let alone talk. If you can’t talk, how are you supposed to sing?”

“They’ve been lining up for days,” Matty said before breaking out into a cough. 

“And you can’t even take a breath without coughing,” George reasoned. 

“They’ll understand, your health needs to come first, and if they don’t fuck ‘em, that’s not the kind of kids I want at our show anyway then,” George said.

He knew that even if Matty wouldn’t admit it, he had the bad habit of reading his own press. He had seen every vile word written about him the last nine months. He took it in stride, gritting his jaw and keeping his chin up even as his light, the spark that made him Matty dimmed. George knew that the media wasn’t going to be kind when they announced that they were rescheduling the show. He knew that their so-called fans would be even more vicious, especially the ones that had been lined up for days, caring more about the perfect TikTok video than the health of their so-called idol. 

“I just want the tour to be over,” Matty said at last with another sniffle. Oh no thought George, he was starting to cry. “I just want to go home,” he hiccuped, turning his face into George’s chest again, “Please George, can we just go home.” 

“Soon love,” said George, scratching lightly at Matty’s scalp. When he was no longer attached to the IV, and if he felt up to it later, George wanted to help him take a shower, knowing clean hair always made Matty feel better. 

“I’m just so tired,” Matty said and George squeezed his eyes shut, his own eyes welling with tears at how broken, how burnt out Matty sounded. He knew that Matty wasn’t talking about just right now but of existing in general. 

“I know love,” said George softly, “try and get some rest.” 

He pressed a kiss to Matty’s damp curls and held him as he cried, desperately wishing that he could do more.

[carmenized-onions]

Oh my onions ,

This chapter was the first thing I saw when I opened my phone this morning and I immediately started reading cause when I tell u I have been waiting for it like crazy. I took a break and kept reading after my statistics class (master’s thesis kicking my ass thank u). 

It was such a relief of the tension in the previous chapters, some honest moments between Carm and Tony and also the reality and craziness of their family and faks being around. 

I am so curious to see how the DD and kids dynamic will unfold cause in season 3 I bawled my eyes out in the ice chips episode and I was so happy Sug is taking those baby steps towards redefining her relationship with her mom now that she herself is one. It would be nice to see some cathartic moments here too(obviously given the complexity of the relationships cause lord knows it’s fucked to the core). 

HELL YOU ARE MAKING ME MISS CHRISTMAS NOW I KINDA WISH WE HAD LIKE A WEEK TILL CHRISTMAS IRL CAUSE I HATE THE SUMMER. 

cuteness baby Michaela and Tony (hohoho make her and Carmy babysit pls pls) 

RICHIE THE MAN THAT U ARE. he totally is an old fashioned in my brain so I get the whiskey and peaches thought Tony u are right. 

Also …. Sydney baby I can sense the tension…. I see u getting off the floor … I SEE U NOT SAYING IT BACK SO …. 

Also side note I always listen to music while reading this to set the cinematic vibe yk yk and today I happened to listen to father John Misty’s “I love u honey bear” and “everything is free” and COINCIDENTALLY they match the vibe quite perfectly make sure to check them out if that’s your vibe, I feel the lyrics to these 2 songs were kinda fitting to this chapter (are they my personal soundtrack that played in this episode ?! Yes they are !) 

Can’t wait for next one u never fail! Can’t wait for the Christmas special if u will. ALSO 14 K I know u said for both our sanities it’s getting shorter but I’m so glad I saw a double digit no pressure my love Heheheheheh !!!! I gotta stop yapping stay safe till next one :)))))

AHHH I hope the next one isn't shit, we're dropping in like idk whenever I finish answering these last couple asks that i've let sit in my inbox for DECADES (a couple weeks). If I failed this time, no one tell me. Let's all let onion live in ignorance okay. a handful of times i was like "what if I simply restarted" at like 8k in.

But I've finished my final draft edits and I think it's fine. I think it's a very necessary chapter. It's like how I felt about Doing Too Much back in the day, but now that one's like, one of my faves in terms of how much it actually establishes--- ANYWAYS WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT let's talk about your talkings

I hope your thesis went/is going well!! It's been so fucking long where is everyone on their life projects. Me personally I'm applying to OTHER FUCKING JOBS. Who wants to pay me to write CK full time? I'm so fr.

Chapter 14 will always be that girl when it comes to tension breaking. Like christ. Two Steps Back is my favourite chapter to reread because I love Mikey and Chip and I also think I am the most in my bag when I'm writing sad shit but Chapter 14 is always nice when I'm havin a ROUGH DAYY

I hope. When I do eventually cover DD. Which is tragically for me, quite soon, that I do it fucking any justice. I'm very thankful for the compliments comparing me to canon but MAN if anything is a test of my ability to understand these characters, Donna is my final fucking exam. I am so bad. At writing moms. Just in general. Ice Chips was truly like my favourite episode of the season too, so I hope I can do all the fucking insane dynamics of adulthood blended with motherhood justice. I can barely do them justice in my own life, YKNOW??? man.

Me and my roommates take christmas so fucking seriously. As we have for the past... 3 years. And now that this is our first christmas living together again, I truly start gift planning now. did someone say psychotic? NO. i just PUT THE DATES OF EVERY SALE OF EVERY IMPORTANT RELEVANT RETAILER IN MY PERSONAL CALENDAR. I'M NORMAL. FUCK YOU I'M NORMAL!! what i'm trying to say is, it's christmas whenever you decide it's christmas.

Ohhhh Michaela Blurb. Someone request it someone request it. I so hope in S4 they let that man be a good Uncle. I know he avoids family like the plague but come on man. its a BABY!!!!!

I hope everyone loves the drink menu I have planned, or I mean--- Sorry, the drink menu chip has planned. Jerimovich you whiskey peach bitch da MAN YOU ARE!!!

It's s o hard to not write like a little bit of tension with Syd. Like I can't not. It's so in my brain I cannot get squidink out of there someone call the police dont actually

i love. when an indie bitch enters my domain. i love father john misty!! I can so see those songs. There's a lot of songs I adored for this chapter. I think my most probably unagreed with would be I Like It, by DeBarge--- Listen, I know it's so cheery-- But that's exactly it. That is so Song That's Playing At The Wedding Outside The Bathroom While We Full Breakdown In Here. HEAR ME OUT OKAY

We are,,, at 15k for this chap. Chap 14 was 14k,,,, I feel like Chap 16 is not going to be 16k (but rather, horrifically, more), but it'd be cute to continue the pattern. I'll attempt to reduce myself.

Also:

I WISH THEY MADE A CHICAGO JOKE IN CANON, esp with Carmen's drive by about Musicals in ep2? Come on man. Chicago's (the city) like. top 3 of american cities for theatre. what the fuck. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTS???

i love chicago (the musical) (maybe also the city idk), so I had to give a little credit. And frankly, while writing that bit, I watched the moment back--- He did KIND OF RUN INTO IT, LIKE I HONESTLY THINK THAT WAS KIND OF AN ACCIDENT

anyways i'm gonna shut the fuck up now chapter out soon love you bye gotta answer more asks!!

[zylphiacrowley]

/falls into your inbox

6 PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! (for x'vahl)

For Pre-Dawntrail WoL questions!

OH HOHOHOHOHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEEE! Okay! (this is going to be long because this is my wheelhouse and it's my favorite thing to write/create content about... in case that wasn't abundantly obvious by now)

6. how does your wol feel about romance? are they a hopeless romantic, waiting for The One, or are they more casual? do they believe in soulmates?

X'vahl is, at his core, a hopeless romantic wrapped in layers of fear and anxiety caused by past failed relationships (mostly one specific past failed relationship that broke something inside him so bad that he still hasn't fully healed from it). He thought he had found The One when he was 19 until everything went very bad very quickly and he got extremely depressed about it for a long time (This is the whole thing with M'likki and his kids that I feel like I mention a lot). After that he would end up in his first casual relationship with the co-captain of the ship he boarded for Thavnair in his early 20s (this is also when he realized he was bisexual). He actually didn't intend for it to be as casual as it was, since the idea of a casual relationship hadn't really crossed his mind before that point but he was also feeling super guarded still and wasn't ready to commit his heart to another person. It helped that Zhen (the aformentioned co-captain of the ship) basically laid it all out for him that as soon as they made port at Radz-at-Han, X'vahl had to disembark and that would be the end of what they had going on. It ended up working out for the both of them, and honestly it probably helped X'vahl since they ended on mutually agreed upon terms and not, you know, a complete disaster heartbreak (fun fact: Zhen is also the person who first put the idea of becoming a bard into X'vahl's head). When he was living in Radz-at-Han he fully embraced the idea of the casual relationship and had a bunch of casual encounter with different people with a strict "no-strings attached" rule. He never felt a sense of fullfillment from any of his relationships at that time, but he also didn't worry about having his heart shattered again and he was content to coast along like that. Of course, he eventually left Radz-at-Han to return to Eorzea where he got caught up in Scion and WoL business shortly after and the idea of any sort of relationship sort of fell by the wayside because he suddenly had Much Bigger Problems:tm:

All of that leads up to now! The star is safe, he finally has a chance to breathe again for the first time in a long time, and when Tataru realized he was acting slightly different whenever he was around Erenville, or whenever someone mentioned him, she actually figured out he was harboring some feelings before he really even realized it… so she took matters into her own hands. Despite thinking they could just have a casual thing though, now X'vahl is suddenly wrestling with the fact that he's realized he not only has feelings, but he has them real bad and all that anxiety and fear that he thought was in the past has suddenly come back to hit him again and he's terrified about all the ways it could go wrong.

So uhhhhh, tl;dr: X'vahl is very much a hopeless romantic, he's not necessarily waiting for "The One" (even though he might've found him), he tried the casual thing and it was… alright he guesses, and he is undecided on if he truly believes in soulmates, but he finds the concept endearing.

Thank you for the ask my friend ~! ♥ This is completely my jam so I'm glad I got to answer this question for him. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[1d1195]

So I finally got around to reading protection and I thought it would be funny if I wrote down all my favorite parts bc I always wanna point them out, but I FORGET. It’s late and these are actually my live reactions bc im writing them in my notes as I read This will be long, this will probs be verryyy dumb (so if you don’t want to, pllsss don’t feel obligated to answer it, let it rot in your inbox😭)

The part where she’s like “hey niall! :D” and then switches up and yells at the supervisor 😭😭 AND NIALL IS JUST SHOOK BAHAHAHHA

Protocol. 

'He knew that she ended a lot of her doodles with little hearts'. As someone who always draws hearts every time I get my hand on a pen, I ADORE this little fact (there’s a statistic that says 56% of Americans write their first name when testing out a new pen, and I always say ‘well what’s the percentage of people who draw a heart cause it cant just be me’)

 Left covered in glitter and with a printed card that said Happy Holidays, but the L was a middle finger emoji. Funniest thing you’ve ever written actually. 

The whole codename talk OF COOURSE

protocol.

If he were my boyfriend this would be so controlling, I would be out of there in two seconds flat. Why am I liking all this? bc its harry duh, that man could throw me in the back of his trunk, leave me there for days, and I’d still be obsessed w him

It was next to impossible. She invaded his every thought. Like a little flower, a wildflower, poking through the cracks of his brain and growing where it shouldn’t.

Even if it was beautiful and lovely where it grew.

“I don’t care if y’don’t like me,” Harry knew that was a lie. He wanted her to like him so badly. unbelievably real, I get like this too harry dw

“Hate ‘em,” he nodded. She liked them. So, there was that; the olive theory would apply to them. THE OLIVE THEORY AWWWWWW

I was super psyched about the part where she cut her hand bc that literally happened to me today and ive got a huge gash & the napkins taped on me to prove it😭 (no harry to cheer me up tho smh🙄)

If I drank enough water, I would be too much for the world. She told him. I’d be unstoppable. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

he pressed his lips to her ear. “Is that why y’tense all the time? Just need t’come?” I SCREAMED

THE WHOLE SCENE AFTER THAT HELLO ???? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS OKAY ??? // tell everyone my cause of death was this: “Gonna listen t’me?” He asked. She nodded, gasping for air that didn't smell like Harry but enjoying that it did. “Say it,” he murmured. “For all the times y’didn’t.”

protocol !!!!!

Literally nothing abt chapter 7 because where the fuck would I even begin

Everything about chapter 8 was PERFECT I have no clue what you were worried about because girl I was HOOKED it was just PLOT PLOT PLOT the writing was AMAZING, the twists were AMAZING, her planning (or yours ig) AMAZINGGGGG, THE SHOOTING HER AS A DISTRACTION ????? HOLY FUCK

I will say tho, L harry cause I really wanted him to kill the dude😞

“Feel like this’ll be more paperwork for you. Just shoulda died,” ROLLING OVER IN MY GRAVE SHE’S SOOO FUCKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAH

cant believe u almost killing her was not enough for you LMFAOOOO

It wasn’t the time, but it was quite hot the way he held her trapped against her bed. She’s literally just a girl🎀

“What’s your favorite song?” She asked so innocently Harry could have cried. Your honor I LOVE her

I cannot believe that she literally got kidnapped AGAIN ???? BY HER FATHER ???? THIS POOR POOR GIRL

It was quite a humble moment for her. All those years of torturing agents and creating mountains of paperwork, building walls up so she didn’t even need protection...now they would probably let her die as the opportunity had presented itself. OUCH OUCH OUCHHHHHHHHHH

Harry’s gonna go gray before I finish this chapter

 He was strongly considering (and hoping) asking her if they could just put a chip in her. HAHAHAHAH as if. I will deadass settle for like a 200 hundred blurb JUST of that conversation between them

Diving into the chilly winter water, he hoped it wasn’t too late to save her again. This might be your most committed couple yet omg (no pun intended)

Ive never been happier to have not read a fic as you posted it because Samantha I SWEAR TO GOD this woulda drove me insane😭 IT DID DRIVE ME INSANE AND I WAS BINGE READING (I would’ve turned gray faster than harry)

“The hell is that?” He mumbled trying to make sense of the monstrosity on her lap. PFFTTTTTT love that crocheting is a styles’ family thing in this bc yes absolutely. im just picturing lil harry staying up late watching videos online to try to learn so he could be better than Gemma

im ADORING his constant worrying abt her getting a headache😭 its the sweetest thing ever

It was a crochet kit: a beginner's book, a set of hooks, and three different colored yarns. SHUT UPPPPP ITS AN INITIATION AHHHHH

“We’re gonna have to cope the way we need to. I will be my usual, hilarious self. And you can be mopey.” She’s literally me thank uuuu

The whole scene?? Youre my whole heart, completely exposed to the world ???? RIP me, rest in peace me, I. Died. Dead. 

“Wildflower, definitely wildflower.” 10 dead. 29 injured. ahhHHHHHHHH

Girl I am soooo sorry and like I said you absolutely don’t have to reply I just thought this would be fun and it might make you smile, also u deserve to know just how greatly appreciated your writing is, every bit of it <3

~🎶

So I truly enjoy everything I write (except Love and Dryer Sheets). I know inherently that Traditional is more popular but I think if I had to pick a favorite, Protection is by far my favorite story. I guess if I had to qualify maybe my favorite of 2023 at least. Idk what it was about it, I just loved writing every moment of it, I enjoyed my weird little dialogues and the silly little inside jokes. I thought the MC was really strong and wonderful--I aspire to be like her, ya know? Writing Harry's parts is always fun too but I think Protection Harry is the mushiest but shyest of them (probs because of his job) so getting him to open up to her was really fun to write too. idk.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY this is quite possibly the sweetest and nicest thing anyone has done for one of my stories. I love this so so so so so much. There are so many parts you pointed out that I cared SO deeply for that didn't necessarily get pointed out when I originally wrote it. It was so sweet to read them again from someone else's perspective. I probs won't catch everything but please know that I got this from you at 5 in the morning yesterday and I have read it no less than 100 times because I'm so honored that you enjoyed it enough to take notes 😭😭 and every single one made me SO happy and smiley.

I just read about the statistic about writing your name when handed a pen in a book I was reading! I bet the heart thing is a pretty cool stat too (whatever it is!).

PUTTING ME IN A TRUNK SAME.

nothing about part 7 I'm screaming 😂

I've mentioned it in another ask but when I write suspenseful things I already know where the suspense is leading so I just get super in my head about it because I think it's obvious about where it's leading?

You have ignited a new extra regarding putting a tracking chip in her 🤭

she is really funny tbh hehehehehe I like to believe I'm funny too because I like to think that's how I would react to a lot of these scenarios.

she IS just a girl (and she really just wants to get railed by Harry quite frankly. I think she deserves it lol she's been through a lot)

Almost killing her was the main part the kidnapping was extra because I was like "Aw crap, I forgot to tie up the daddy issues line" whoops hahahahahahaha

Idk if they crochet, I hope they do. I just needed something that siblings could argue over. I would kill to know what the sibling dynamic is between Harry and Gemma. It's gotta be hilarious.

I think Harry is going to worry about her the rest of his life and you're so right, he would go gray because of her hehehehehe

SAMANTHA hahahahahahaha I was thinking you would have hated to read this as I was writing it lol

10 dead 29 injured 😭💕 - I think most endings of my stories suck but again, I love this story so much, I humbly think I did a better job on this one 💕

in general the bullets where you quoted some of what I wrote was really sweet too. The part about not getting help because of how she treated them, the olive theory, the part about water, harry wanting her to like him, etc. etc. That really means so much to me that it seemed worth pointing out again 😭 thank you thank you thank you.

If there was anything I didn't reply to, it wasn't intentional, I just know this is the longest ask ever and I love it so much but I feel like it's going to continue forever if I don't stop 😭💕💕

YOU ARE THE BEST THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! IT'S SO WONDERFUL 💕

xoxo