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annikasafternoonread · 3 years

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Hello all! It’s been a few days (okay it’s been a whole ass week) -- I’m sorry for the wait, but I had a surprisingly hard time starting this wrap up. Part of that was just being busy with life, but I also just… felt like I didn’t know what to say. Or maybe I didn’t know how to say it. These books are deeply complex, which is part of what makes them so captivating, but it also can make it hard to describe or respond to or explain. So much is left unanswered or unexplored or unknown. How can I sum up something so multi-faceted, that I know I’m only scratching the surface of understanding?

So, Harrow the Ninth. I want to preface this post by saying I did enjoy this book a lot, and I’m glad I read it. Tamsyn Muir is a very talented writer, I love the characters and the world, and the story is really cool. But although I liked the reading experience as a whole… I seem to have a lot of things I wasn’t totally happy with in the book itself.

Tamsyn Muir’s books are fascinating, but they are also challenging. I’m sure that description doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has read them. It is both a strength and a weakness, part of what makes these books so intriguing and surprising, but also something that I know can turn off potential readers. I remember shortly before I started reading Harrow the Ninth, someone told me that the book itself is really hard to read, especially at the beginning. I remember that during the book, someone else told me that they had read Gideon the Ninth and started Harrow the Ninth, but wound up not finishing because the second person was too confusing.

Neither of those was my experience. I didn’t mind the second person, or the confusing nature of the first sections. It was what I expected from this book at this point, and while it was unusual, it worked. The world they exist in is incredibly complex, the writing style is quite unique, but none of that really fazed me. For me, the ending was what felt... a lot of things. Confusing, incomplete, unresolved… and for me at least, a little unsatisfying. Again, I get that it’s kind of the point, but I just… 😒 is the best way I can describe the emotion. Like, okay I guess, but also no.

The good news is, this book as a whole answered a lot of my questions from the previous book. Not all of them, but a good few. We know a lot more about this universe, about the history leading to this point, about who and what they’re fighting against, about what Lyctors are and how they work and what they do. And we know why Gideon didn’t die from the gas 🤯

This book also hit a lot of the themes I was hoping for, many of which are concepts I’m quite interested in. In my opening post, I guessed that we’d be seeing a lot of focus on the ideas of: identity, duty, loyalty, morality, and truth. Granted those are kind of generic and open-ended, but I think they were all pretty on the nose. Harrow’s identity shifts with her memory, with her sense of who she is and what she is supposed to do and be. We explore duty and loyalty through her relationship with Lyctorhood and especially with the other Lyctors’ actions. Morality is a constant undercurrent, never really brought to the surface by most of the characters (well, I guess with regards to becoming a Lyctor it’s explicitly explored, but with regards to killing planets and the BoE and such it isn’t really touched much) but always there and very intentionally so. The narration doesn’t engage with it because the characters don’t question it, but it’s clear that we the reader are supposed to. And truth -- well, there sure are a lot of lies on that ship. I was even spot on that truth circles back to identity, though granted not in the way I initially expected.

But while this book answered a lot of the questions from last book, it of course introduced many more of its own, and many of those weren’t resolved either. Some of those I expect to be answered later, like: How did Mercy and Augustine connect with the Blood of Eden? Why did they want to break open the Locked Tomb? What’s up with Original Gideon (OG) and did he (or someone else) fuck with his brain? Some of these it makes sense to leave unresolved to heighten the drama, like: What exactly is God and why and how? What exactly is the Blood of Eden and what do they want and how much should I trust or distrust them? What exactly is up with the Body? Some of these are small but still bother the heck out of me, like: What was up with Ianthe’s arm after all? How did the Commander get into that sword? Did Harrow hallucinate before she became a Lyctor, or was that a false memory too, part of the dreamscape?

But some of them are big. Some of them matter. Some of them feel like I’m supposed to think they’re answered, but I just… don’t. Like, why did Mercy and Augustine break with God? I get the surface level reason that they’re talking about, but it doesn’t make sense to me, there has to be more to God or Lyctorship or the Resurrection or something. Or at least, I have to believe that, because honestly if there isn’t, I think that would be more unsatisfying to me. I’m also deeply curious about how all the different souls and ghosts inside of Harrow interacted -- did they fight each other, layer with each other, influence each other, braid each other’s hair? For instance, who told Harrow to keep the two-handed sword close -- was it Gideon or the Commander or Harrow or some other reason?

And then there was the scene with Camilla and Judith and Coronabeth. Like, I get that this scene served quite a few purposes -- introducing the idea of a River Bubble, letting us (sort of) meet the Commander, getting to see some of Harrow’s letters, setting up the next book (as per the epilogue), and let’s not ignore the value of getting to say hi to some favourite characters, but at the same time it just… it feels so out of place. Like a weird crossover, except these characters actually do go here? But they’re not supposed to? They show up once, their presence is not explained, and then they disappear into the plot of the next book. A cameo within their own world.

There were of course plenty of things I liked. This world is fascinating and we got to know a lot more about it, about history and necromancy, about how this society views death and destiny, about their conflicts and challenges and triumphs and fears. We got to see a lot of new party tricks. Like in the previous book, we got plenty of unapologetic queerness and enjoyment of titty fiction. The writing style is engaging and makes me laugh at the most unexpected moments. I love a lot of the characters and seeing how they think and interact. I want to know more about this world and these people and this story.

But if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure I’ll read the next book. Not because it’s challenging to read, but just… I don’t know if it’ll give me the payoff I want. Especially given the amount of effort and brainpower these books do take. I want to know I’ll get something back for my investment. Not eventually, when the series ends, but in the book I’m actually reading. Maybe the incomplete ending is supposed to cliffhanger me into desperately wanting the next book. But I don’t want to jump. I just want to land. And with this book, I guess I just don’t feel like we stuck the landing here. I don’t feel like we landed. I feel like we’re still in freefall. I’m definitely not ruling out reading it, I’m sure I’ll be drawn to it and like I said I do want more from this universe. But I just don’t know.

I feel like this is one of my more critical wrap up posts, and I feel a little bad for that because I know so many of you guys love these books. And I’m glad for you! They’re great books! Well worth loving! If someone asked me if I recommended them, I’d absolutely say yes. I enjoyed them a lot, and my lukewarm response to the conclusion doesn’t take away from all that I did love. It just means I’m wary of that happening again with the next book.

But that’s a problem for next year! In the meantime, I’m going to have to read something else :) The contenders for our next read are An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green, Most Likely by Sarah Watson, or Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce -- any of them are still in the game, so let your voice be heard! I hope to start reading on Saturday, so see you then!

And as always, thank you for joining me on this journey. It means the world to have you along, and you guys make it so much fun. I love doing this, and I love sharing it with you. Thank you. I hope to see you on the next journey :)

#annika reads #Tamsyn Muir #Harrow the Ninth #The Locked Tomb #bookshelf #book outro #what's next?

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cousinwingding97 · 3 years

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Silver Memories

Chapter Two: The Chase

Words: over 5k

No warnings. I swear there will be more Mando and the reader. Just wait! Next chapter for sure. I cut this one off at a cliffhanger, but it was getting to be sooo long. Also, very hard to write an amnesiac character so hopefully it’s working. Enjoy!

Sleep must have overtaken you because you found yourself jostled awake by a woman shaking your shoulder. “Excuse me, miss. Stowaways aren’t allowed free travel. Come on, wake up.”

You groaned with the sudden waking and then jumped when you realized you had been caught. The woman who had found you didn’t look angry, just frustrated more than anything. Her dark, curly hair was pulled up and she had a bit of grease on her coveralls.

“Don’t groan at me. You haven’t even started working. I have, and I could use an extra set of hands with my workload. Now, come on,” she holds her hand out to me, “let’s go and get started.”

She doesn’t seem mean. Just rushed. You hesitantly grab her hand as she pulls you up. You don’t have a chance to ask questions or explain. The woman starts walking towards where you assume is her workstation. She more than makes up for your lack of words.

“Next time, don’t hide in the cargo area after moving a crate. Especially if it is one of the only crates left. Most people pay attention. Try the engine room next time. Unless it’s a military ship, most people aren’t around their engines unless something’s wrong. I don’t know if you’re hiding out here or just trying to catch a ride. Pollis Massa is typically a safe haven, so I don’t know why you decided to leave. Why did you? What’s your name?”

You were trying to keep track of all she had said. There was a lot to process and download into your brain. The question about your name didn’t help. You should’ve known the answer to that question at least.

“I... uh don’t know. I woke up there and there were people I didn’t recognize that seemed violent, so I left. I don’t know anything past the fact that I just want to be somewhere else.”

“A woman who wants to make her own way and isn’t afraid of how she gets there. I like it. My name’s Marri. I’m the chief mechanic on the Serpent. You know anything about mechanics?”

“Uh, no.” This woman surprised you. You were glad she wasn’t interrogating you. She seemed more about getting business done rather than getting you in trouble. You couldn’t even answer any of her questions anyway.

Marri just grunts, “Eh, you can hold the tools. Can you do what you’re told?”

“Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

“Good. Let’s get to it.”

“But, what about the stowaway business?” You asked hesitantly. All of this seemed too good to be true. How were you not going to get in trouble?

“Listen, honey, we have work to do on this ship. Lots of it. The captain ain’t too much of a stickler. She just wants to get the job done and done well. If you can help and work your way through this trip to Utapau then you aren’t just a freeloader.” This woman surprised you. You were glad she wasn’t interrogating you. She seemed more about getting business done rather than getting you in trouble, but you were still surprised she would just let it go that easily, especially to a stowaway.

While you tried to help Marri, you didn’t feel like you were contributing much, but Marri didn’t say otherwise. You got the sense that she was too into her own work and would only talk if there wasn’t anything else to do. You didn’t mind. Your mind was loud, but the work was constant enough to keep you focused on something else besides all the unanswered questions.

When Marri decided things were done, she took you up to the main area that looked like it was for the crew to relax. Some of the crew were already in there and you grew nervous. Marri may not care and supposedly not the captain, but what about the others?

“Everyone, this is Stowaway. Stowaway, meet everyone,” Marri announced.

You stood there unwillingly in a spotlight while eyes stared at you. None stayed on you for too long. Some just halfheartedly grunted a response and others straight up said nothing. Okay, I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved.

Marri didn’t seem surprised by the response either. “You wouldn’t be the first. Like I said, Polis Massa is sort of a sanctuary and people look for passage to a new life from there more often than not. We’ve learned to deal with it and consider it a job hazard.”

“Oh.” That’s what you were wanting to do, right? Find a new one or your old one? “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m looking for besides safety.”

Marri gave you a tight smile and went to the line for food. You followed, not wanting to be too far away from her. She may be right with the others not caring about you being a stowaway, but you didn’t want to push your luck either. Dinner was spent in silence as you thought over what Marri had asked you about what you wanted from this newfound chance of a new beginning.

You didn’t know how long you had been on the ship exactly when you woke to the sound of Marri waking you for the second time. The two of you had went to her barracks and she had given you extra blankets to sleep on the floor of the ship. It wasn’t completely uncomfortable and you had fallen sound asleep not long after you laid your head down. Now, she was urgently waking you.

“The captain wants to speak to you about an important matter.”

Trepidation filled your veins at her words. Maybe the captain wasn’t as easygoing as you had been led to believe. Maybe someone had complained about you.

You wanted to stay hidden in the barracks, but you knew that wouldn’t be an option. There were too many on the ship and you were just one person. You hated feeling helpless, but you knew you had to follow. Maybe I can explain the situation and talk my way out of being thrown into the vacuum of space.

The longer you walked, the harder your heart pounded against your ribcage. Marri looked over at you and tried to smile encouragingly. The act was appreciated, yet your heart continued its pounding. What are they going to do to me?

Automatic doors parted with a hiss and revealed the bridge. A half circle of a viewport showing a blue tunnel of with lights blazing past in flashes. It looked like you were traveling lightspeed, the word and concept coming into your mind as soon as you saw it.

The crew was stationed at various terminals around the bridge and on a lower level. One woman was standing above it all and overlooking the bridge. She had buzzed hair and a severe look rounded on you as you came into view. Marri saluted her and the captain returned the gesture. Marri turned to you, “This is Captain Roxy.”

You tried to smile and begin explain, but the captain cut you off, “Marri told me of you. Believe me girl, I have no problem with you on the Serpent. Especially since you are willing to work. Unfortunately, something has come up that I can’t ignore.” You didn’t know what she was talking about and your eyebrow raised in confusion. The captain read the expression on your face and offered up, “Let me just show you.”

She turned to one of the many terminals and the man sitting in front of the flashing buttons let his hands fly across the individual pieces in what looked like a rehearsed dance.

In front of the captain was what looked like an ordinary table, but once the man’s hands stilled, the table lit up with a blue see-through image. Your heart sank at the image. It was the man that Cara had been talking to, Mando. His helmet seemed to stare through you. The whole bridge was silent with what you assumed was the same fear you felt. You knew you weren’t the only one who had reason to be afraid. The image, or hologram your inner voice supplied, was image was terrifying just by itself.

The filtered voice began with something you could only described as restrained violence, “I believe you all have someone of importance to me. She is under my protection and care. I have tracked her to your ship and I will be tracking you to your destination once you land, rest assured of that. If she is not there, safe and unharmed, everyone on the Serpent is dead. Don’t think you can hide and don’t try running. You know what I am. It will make it worse for you once I find you.” The hologram cuts out and you feel a bead of sweat travel down your back. You feel all eyes on you, but you can’t tear your eyes from where the helmet had just been. The black visor was burned into your eyes.

Captain Roxy finally speaks up, “This transmission just came in not too long ago. We have already responded to it with the promise of your safe return. If I had known you were a part of the Mandolorian’s clan, I would have turned around as soon as Marri found you. I cannot risk the life of my crew for a fugitive from a bounty hunter or whatever you are.”

You finally turned to face her. You were wanted by a bounty hunter? That must have been why they wanted you. You were worth money and the rest of the group had wanted to receive whatever reward someone had placed for you. The word “Mandolorian” didn’t ring any bells either, but you assumed that was what Mando was short for. You doubted it was because you were a part of his clan, but more of a wanted bounty. For what, you had no idea.

The implications of what you had done fully hit you like a starship to the gut. I ran. I ran from some dangerous people and worse, they can find me easily. They aren’t going to take too kindly to their payday running away. What is going to happen to me when they find me? Will he just kill me to make it easier to bring in?

Before you could plead your case, the captain spoke, “My mind is decided. We will wait at Utapau for the Mandolorian to pick you up in order to make sure he sees we kept you safe.” Her voice softened as she spoke the next words, “For the sake of my crew, please let him know that we did not know we had you on board.” She turns away from you and Marri is pulling you along away from the bridge.

Finally, your words come back to you. “Marri, please. I can’t go back to them. I don’t even know what I have done to have a bounty. I don’t want anyone hurt, but I can’t stay here. I don’t even know who I am, let alone what I’ve done. This has to be a mistake!”

Marri doesn’t look at you. There is a guilty look in her eyes and you can tell your words are getting to her. “Please, help me. Don’t let him take me.”

“Look, I understand. You seem like a nice girl. I don’t want to do it either and honestly; I don’t think the captain even wants to give you up. Not many people like dealing with bounty hunters. That kind has a reputation. But Mandolorians are a proud and violent race. They don’t just give up. They keep their word too. He meant what he said about our crew.” She finally turns to look at you and grabs your shoulders for emphasis. There are tears in her eyes, “You are not the only one who is scared. We all are. He might kill us just to send a message to others. I’m sorry, truly. You don’t even know who you are, but just think for a moment, maybe you were someone terrible.” The last words are spoken more like a question. She doesn’t believe them either.

Your heart clenches at the possibility that she might be right; however, that doesn’t mean you can just give up. You don’t feel like you are a bad person. Despite the will to live, you don’t wish anything bad upon these people just because of your choices.

“Is there anything I can do? Do I have a chance?” You’re begging for any sort of hope or idea and you don’t care if you sound pathetic.

Marri looks at you for a long time. Her dark skin reflects the tears and you can’t help feeling bad for even asking it of her. She’s terrified.

“I don’t know, honestly. Unless you happen to know how to fight, I don’t know if there is anything any of us can do. They are hunters. They get what they are after.”

She’s given up. She doesn’t have any ideas. Why would she help me though? She barely knows me and she’s known her crew for longer.

You will have to come up with your own plan. She leads you back to her barracks, but neither of you can sleep. You are too anxious to even try to close your eyes.

All too soon, you feel the ship starting to land. Your breath hitches and you know there’s no time left.

Marri gently leads you to the ramp. You are met with what you take to be Utapau. The hanger you are in is open aired. There’s a cliff to your right showing you how trapped you are. Your eyes lead up to the walls of what appears to be a giant hole or cavern that you are in currently. There are creatures flying in and out of the hole. You see them land on another pad further away along with some other creatures that look like they are made for running, not flying. There are buildings sticking out from the sides of the cliffs and everything has an industrial, desert look to it.

Unless you steal one of the ships, not an option, or steal the flying creatures, you are stuck in the hole. To your left, the rest of the level you are on of this landing pad has nothing to your advantage. There are machines that look like transportation, but you still don’t know how to operate them. The rest of the crew is unloading while you desperately look for any escape.

None of the inhabitants are paying you any attention. None of them look like they could help you. Most are short and non-threatening with bulging eye sockets and round figures. The taller grey ones with lines running down their faces that look almost like scares seem to be in charge. They have sharp teeth and wear blood red. They look threatening, but too threatening for you to approach.

Marri leads you out of the way of the crew and closer to the edge of the drop off. You look down to see just how high up you still are within this crater. You can’t help but feel like you are in a grave.

The bottom is so far down that you can only make out specks of blue. Marri startles you from your thoughts, “The bottom is water and caves. There’s not much beyond the top. There are similar layouts. This planet is full of sinkholes and cities within. You won’t get far, unless you know how to fly. Your best bet is the water. They can’t track in water as well as land,” she whispers in your ear.

“Why are you telling me this? Unless I miraculously survive a fall, I can’t get down there.”

“I know. But there is a chance if you get one of those varactyls.” She gestures to the lizard looking creatures that you spotted earlier.

You look incredulously at her. She is actually trying to help you? After everything she said to you?

“Look, I don’t know who you are or if you have done anything wrong, but if you are innocent, I don’t want that on my conscience. I can’t help you much more than this, but I could cause a distraction. I have to think of my friends on that ship.”

“I understand. I am grateful. Believe me, I don’t want you to get hurt or killed because of me.” She seems relieved at your words. “I will wait until he sees that I am alright and you guys are safe, ok?”

Again, tears flood her eyes, “Thank you.”

She leads you away from the edge and back to the crew. You don’t have restraints on, but you keep your word. You wait for the Mandolorian to arrive.

Every ship entering the hole brings your heart into your throat with panic. For what feels like hours, but it is never him. You almost fool yourself into thinking that he won’t come.

No such luck. One ship that feels different from the rest enters the atmosphere and you can almost feel the danger radiating off that ship before you even see it. It is not a large ship by any means, but the two guns on the front of the curved hull and the battle scars gives away the true nature of it.

Marri stands besides you and you follow. The whole crew waits as the ship comes closer to the landing platform. You feel something pressed into your hand as you realize it’s a blaster. Marri leans into your ear and whispers, “Only use it if you have to.” You nod and tuck it into your waistband and cover it with your shirt.

Without another word, she walks up to Roxy and the rest of the crew follows. You are in the back of the crowd and all eyes are facing towards the ship that has now turned to land on its bottom with the hull facing up instead of out. Everyone is enraptured and you know you could try to escape now, but you told Marri you would wait until Mando saw that they hadn’t harmed you.

That’s when you notice something out of the corner of your eye. One of the smaller inhabitants trying to wrangle one of the winged lizards is stuck in the reins. Its stubby legs wrapped up and the creature is starting to take off. The poor bug-eyed thing was frantically waving its arms to try to grab the reins as it started to go over the edge, but it was upside down and couldn’t reach.

You couldn’t explain what happened next. You saw that in a moment and the next you were running as fast as you could towards the flying lizard, that was now almost over the edge completely, and reaching out to grab the little guy’s hand.

Now, here you were. Dangling over a hole that led to certain death should you fall. Focusing on the task, you grabbed onto the reins above the leg and pulled yourself up. Once you were above the alien, you carefully loosened the knot. He must’ve mistaken what you were doing and thought you were trying to kill him. He thrashed around even harder causing the lizard to jerk and try to hold you both. It was a scrawny one and smaller than its larger brethren, so your nerves shot up even more.

“Calm down, I’m trying to help you!”

That must have gotten through to him. The frantic squeaks stopped and he held still.

You had loosened the knot enough that you reached down as best you could and grabbed his hand. With a quick jerk, you tugged him out of the reins and swung him back towards the platform into the arms of his comrades.

The celebration and alien sounding cheers didn’t last as the creature decided it had enough of you. Thrashing wildly and randomly, your hands lost their grip and you’re thrown far. You only have a moment to realize you are heading towards the pit of the flightless lizards before panic fully sets in. You were high up; this was probably going to break some bones at best and kill you at worst.

You close your eyes preparing for the pain. A sudden stop in motion without any pain makes your eyes fly open in surprise. One of the varactyls, a giant blue one had caught you in its mouth like you were a toy to fetch. Thankfully, it had caught your shirt in its beak and not your flesh.

There’s commotion outside of the pit and a bit of a crowd is starting to rush into the pit. You know one of them is going to be Mando, so you have two options: take your chances or take this lizard for ride. The answer was obvious.

Patting the beak behind you, you try to convince the beast to let you go, “Hey, let go. Come on, come on. I’m not a toy.” You pat harder to get the point across and with a huff of boredom it does as it’s told. You don’t give it a chance to get far. This one had been saddled already and, in the commotion, had been forgotten. You weren’t going to look a gift lizard in the mouth.

You throw yourself into the saddle and give a spirited whip of the reins. The beast doesn’t hesitate either and lets out an excited yip before lunging forward.

If you hadn’t been holding onto the reins as tight as you had been, you would’ve fallen off. The varactyl was far faster than you expected. You heard some shouts behind you, but you didn’t look back in fear of what you might see.

The paths ahead of you were speeding by towards deeper into this hole and network of tunnels. Stalactites and stalagmites made up most of the natural architecture along with flora, but no signs of where any path lead. So, you chose one that looked like it may take you down towards the bottom of the pit like Marri said.

Everything sped by in a blur of tans and bursts of color from the plants that lined the path. You chanced a look behind you and no one was following you from what you could tell. At least there was some good news.

The bad news was that you had no idea where you were heading and no idea what to do now. There probably wasn’t a chance of actually hiding from a bounty hunter, but you were going to give it your best shot until you could stowaway on another ship.

Thankfully, the main paths seemed to lead in a spiral pattern either up or down levels and split off into smaller paths leading to the inner most parts of the planet. You had lucked out and you knew it was only a matter of time before that luck ended. Especially using so much to save that little one from the falling to his death. There wasn’t any other explanation you could think of for that move. The fact that you weren’t dead was a surprise at this point.

It didn’t take as long as you expected for you to reach the very bottom of the pit. The varactyl was extremely fast and sped through the levels like it had its own hyperdrive.

Once you saw the end of the path leading to docks where small fishing boats were lazily floating and very few life forms to witness your presence, you pulled back on the reins and hopped off. The varactyl walked towards the water and drank deeply.

You didn’t know where to go from here. The path just led straight into the water almost like a ramp. There were caves you could see all around. The water wasn’t deep until near the middle of the pit and Marri had said to keep to the water.

Cautiously, you stepped into the water. It was pleasant and clear. You could see the bottom and the stone underneath was smooth beneath your feet. You could survive in this water without fear of freezing.

Do I know how to swim? These simple questions that only you, or people who knew you, should be able to answer and having no answers yourself, was infuriating. You couldn’t remember anything about yourself, yet you knew basic concepts. The unfairness of everything was boiling your blood and your frustration was growing the more you thought about it.

No! I don’t have time for this. I’ll try floating and see if I can. The water looks shallow enough for the most part, so even if I can’t I could at least try wading towards some caves.

You knew that stealing a boat was not an option since all of them were being used. Swimming anywhere was better than nothing.

You were about to step out further into the water when a thought hit you. They could track me by following that creature. It’s a dead giveaway. You looked back at the bright blue beast that stuck out like a flashing sign advertising your whereabouts.

You walked over to it and gently waved your hands in a shooing motion, “Thanks for the catch and the ride, but you should go.” It didn’t budge. Just looked at you with intelligent eyes and tilting its head in a questioning look. You sighed. “Ugh, come on. You should go. Go free if you want! Just run somewhere!” You started waving your arms a little more aggressively, “Shoo! Go!” You walked up to it closer and louder. The beast finally lost interest and left towards where it came from. You breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to the water.

It looked more intimidating now that you were trying to think of how to swim. Maybe it would be an instinct more than anything. So, you stopped thinking and tried to spear the water surrounding you to your arms in front of you and almost laying out. Your stomach reflexively tightened with strain of keeping you afloat. Ok, so at least I can float. It’s not pretty, but I can float.

Establishing the fact that you could float and possibly swim, your newest and best plan was to hide in the caves and steal whatever food you could. It sounded a lot simpler than it was going to be, but what choice did you have? The blaster in your waistband wasn’t going to do much good if you missed.

The docks were under an overhang, blocking it from the hanger’s view. Swimming out into the open was a stupid idea. Your best bet was to stay close to the sides and close to the docks for food.

You didn’t know what Marri had meant about not being able to track you in the water, but you would do your best to stay in the water and take that fact at face value. So, you swam to a cave off to the left of the docks, tucked away behind cliff faces and rock outcroppings.

You swam for a while along the edges of the rocks until you could still see the docks in the distance. You found a cave along the way, but would have to wait and see if this cave would even work for your needs.

I don’t even know what my needs are. The mouth of the cave opened to a sandy inner sanctuary. You could rest there and sort out what you would need. What if I can’t eat? What if I need something specific? Am I allergic to anything?

You laid down in the sand, staring up to the ceiling of the cave. What if running away had just killed you? Fear chilled your heart. I think I just made the biggest mistake I could make. Hot tears of frustration and hopelessness pricked the corners of your eyes. You had no idea who or even what you were and you had left anyone who did know in fear of being killed or sold off when you just may have killed yourself unknowingly.

“You stupid, stupid girl. What did you just do?” You held back a sob. All the emotions that had been in the back of your head since the moment you woke in that cell were coming to a boiling point now that you were laying down in the best form of safety you could find at the moment.

You wrapped an arm around your eyes and tried to calm your breathing. If you panicked now or got too emotional, you could die for sure if you let the weight of everything crash down and suffocate your actions. You had to hold off for now. You could cry when you were truly safe.

Those thoughts were pushed deep down and you sat up. You cupped your hand and drank deeply to quench your thirst that had built up. When was the last time I had food? That thought brought a grumble to your stomach. At least now I know I need sustenance in some form and I don’t just draw energy from the air or something weird.

The thought of going back out of hiding so soon was not appealing at the moment in case they had tracked you as far as to the docks. Once night fell, there could be a chance to steal some food if you found some by the fisherman’s homes. Stealing wasn’t your first option, but you didn’t have money or any way to fish. You still had the blaster that Marri gave you, but there wasn’t a good chance that a blaster shot wouldn’t destroy any source of food and leave enough behind.

You made your way further into the gave and away from the water. Utapau was warmer than on a ship, but you were still careful not to be close to the water in case it rose and soaked you. You were still wearing the thin clothes from Polis Massa’s medical center. If it got chilly at night on this planet, you would have to steal some clothes.

There wasn’t a memory, but there was a feeling of guilt and shame about possibly having to steal from innocent beings in order to survive. Maybe that means I’m not a bad person. Or I am and I don’t remember how to shove these feelings down yet. That thought wasn’t appealing to you. If you had been a terrible person up until the loss of memories, you weren’t in a rush to get them back.

I’ll argue about morality with myself later, you mused to yourself and let sleep take ahold of you once again for lack of anything else to do. The day had been quite exciting and your body was ready to catch its breath.

You awoke to a light chill blowing into the cave. You looked towards the mouth of the cave and only darkness met your eyes, so you walked out to the water that was still fairly warm. The night was gorgeous. You could see so many stars that it looked like a city in the sky with a moon or planet so close it took up the rest of the sky.

There were quiet squawks from above, probably the lizard like creatures. There were no other sounds besides the quiet rippling of the water.

Looking towards where you thought the docks were, you saw lights along the main bath and the water reflected the light from the stars well enough to light your way.

Now or never, I guess.

You swam towards the docks in search of anything that might be of use. You were careful not to splash and gently cut through the water to not draw attention.

There was a main dock house and about ten houses near the water. You weren’t exactly expecting food to be left out on a windowsill, but you hadn’t thought it would be this hard to find anything.

You walked around the houses, trying to look inconspicuous while you did. There were tools and nets out around, boats left tied to the posts, shoes (which none fit your tiny five-toed feet instead of the two prong shapes), and paddles. You did find a spear lying against the side of a house, which you decided to take and use some rope to sling it around your back.

There was a clothesline that did have a grey wraparound cloak that you took as well for warmth. Still, no food though.

You decided to call it a night when you caught something out of the corner of your eye. A glint of starlight off of something silver. There’s no way. There’s no way. Just be calm.

You walked slowly, trying to not look scared or like you had been caught. You wrapped the cloak around you and used that as a chance to pull the blaster out of your waistband and keep it hidden.

Nothing popped up and no one shouted at you. You were stuck though; if you left back towards safety, they would easily spot you and follow you to your hiding place and if you walked back up the path, then they would spot you and have no fuss with locals. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

In order to keep the locals safe, you chose to walk back up the path. There could be a shootout and you didn’t want anyone to be hurt in case you were right.

It took every ounce of control to not run or try to hide. If they hadn’t spotted you or if they weren’t even there, there was no point in running. Your heart was pounding though and you felt sweat run down the side of you face. You had to concentrate on each step being slow and steady.

You walked in the middle of the path away from the lights on either side in order to not be as easily seen. You were holding your breath to listen for any sound at all, but it was like the night was just you and your footsteps. Even the squawking had died.

Then, just barely louder than the tiny scuffle of your footsteps, was the sound of someone following. It sounded like metal or spurs or some kind. You almost stopped walking when you heard it, but you kept going like nothing was wrong. Like you weren’t being stalked.

I am not prey.

Without a second to keep thinking or start to panic, you whipped the blaster around and came face to face with the silver helmet much closer than you expected. The blaster was aimed right at his armored chest.

“Walk away right now or get shot,” You did your best threatening voice and tried not to let your hands shake.

The silver helmet just continued to stare at you. The black of the visor swallowed your vision until it was like staring into a void. He still said nothing.

He just looked down at the blaster and you followed his gaze. His gloved hands were on his belt, not his weapons. He wasn’t actively threatening you, but maybe he thought he could take you without them. When he looked back up to your face, he softly spoke, “Your blaster’s safety is on.”

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somefightsjustgetyoubloody · 3 years

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I watched The Wilds on amazon and I’ve got some thoughts.

Long post and spoilers for The Wilds 2020

I want to start off by saying I do like the show and I will definitely be watching season two. This isn’t meant to be me hating on the whole show but I have major problems with how they chose to end this season. Did they just forget to make a finale?

I’ve never seen a show bank so hard on getting a second season. I really liked everything up until realizing that was the last episode now, it’s annoying me so much. There was no proper finale for the season and it left way too many unanswered questions. That cliffhanger is just too big. A shark attack, and Leah escaping, and Shelby going into shock, and not knowing what happened to Nora and Martha, and finding out about a second group, AND WE DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THEY GOT OFF THE ISLAND????

Here’s all my unanswered questions in no particular order:

1. Who sent Leah’s birth certificate to Jeff? Did I miss the answer to this one? Was it that boy that had a crush on Leah? It thought it wasn’t him and that it was left a mystery but maybe I missed the answer. It seems weird to leave this one unanswered, it’s relatively minor to the whole plot and could have given us some good pay off and add to Leah’s backstory. Saving this one for season two just unnecessarily draws out that part of the Leah/Jeff plot.

2. Is Nora dead? How does she die? Maybe while saving Rachel, or maybe she’s still alive and just not a part of the interview things because she was in on it, but if she’s alive I don’t know why they would have been going through her journals instead of interviewing her, and Rachel had that “do my parents know about Nora?” line.

3. Is Martha dead? How did she die? She really didn’t seem to be in any danger. She didn’t have big issues with anyone.

4. What happened to Shelby to make her snap so bad? If they had gotten rescued after seeing the plane I would have understood why Shelby is like that in the quarantine facility but she seemed to get better and start accepting herself by the end. More dramatic stuff must have happened to get Shelby to the point she’s at now but not giving us more hints is a let down. The psychiatrists said something about Shelby experiencing dissociative episodes and angry outbursts and “it’s hard to interview her when we don’t know which one we’ll be getting” implying multiple personalities maybe?? (I don’t know the right way to phrase that, I think they did say she has DID). And what happened to her foot? Was there a big fight that she was involved in?

5. Why was Shelby sick at the end? The nurse said she was going into anaphylactic shock. We know she’s allergic to shellfish (I think she was telling the truth about that), did someone slip her shellfish? Was she poisoned or did her and Leah somehow orchestrate it so Leah could get out?

6. Are we supposed to care about the guys camp? I don’t and it wasn’t a big shock that they were running a boys camp. That shouldn’t have been the big reveal at the end. They better not try to make us give a shit about the boys camp next season. One of the big reasons I started The Wilds was because it was all girls. I truly do not give a shit about what the boys are up to. We don’t need to see another version of Lord of The Flies to remind us that men act like men.

7. How did Toni and Martha get on the retreat? Were they recruited like Dot was, did they get the trip as some kind of charity, or did Martha’s parents pay for them to go on this trip?

8. Why was Shelby sent on this trip instead of getting her teeth implants?

9. How much did the parents know? I have to think they didn’t know their kids would be stranded on a deserted island, none on them seem that awful. But I get the feeling they knew more than they told their kids. The kids were told the trip was only going to be like what? Two weeks? I never got a firm grasp on how long the kids thought the trip was going to be. Leah’s parents knew it would be a long trip though. We saw that video chat they had with Gretchen where Gretchen said they would talk again in two weeks.

10. Did the parents pay for this? I don’t think Toni and Martha paid for the trip, but Fatin and Leah’s parents don’t seem like the kind of parents to send their daughters on random free trips.

11. How much did Fatin’s parents know about this? It seemed weird to me that they would send her on a ‘girls retreat’ before sending her to a “strict traditional muslim boarding school’. Maybe they didn’t know and just picked the eve trip randomly to get her out of the house. I really don’t like her parents.

12. What’s up with Shelby’s father? I get he’s a super christian homophobe but what’s the deal with that breakfast scene? Dumping the cereal in the trash and those tense looks between Shelby and her mom

13. How much did Dot and her Dad know in advance? I don’t think her dad would have signed her up for this if he knew but he definitely knew something. What was Dot told beforehand? Did Gretchen tell Dot she would get paid for being a spy at a girls camp or something?

14. How and when did they get rescued? Wtf happened between the shark attack and the quarantine facility. Did Gretchen pull them because it got too bad? Did they get rescued because of the shark attack? Did Gretchen’s team pretend to be rescuers when they picked up the girls? I’m assuming Rachel lost her hand to the shark and Nora died and then they all got rescued before Leah could prove that Nora was in on it, but maybe the shark attack wasn’t that bad and Gretchen left them on the island longer and Martha died. Maybe Leah or Shelby killed Nora and Rachel lost her hand while trying to stop it.

15. What happens when they get off the island for good? Do they have to return to normal life? Will Fatin’s parents still try to send her to boarding school? How could Gretchen possibly think she would be able to prevent all of them and their families from going public?

These are too many questions to be left unanswered. It’s unsatisfying. We’re just left hanging until season two comes out IN A YEAR OR MORE.

#mine #the wilds #the wilds 2020 #the wilds spoilers

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natsspammityspamspamham · 4 years

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Anime That Deserve Another Season

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season Even though the title says “deserve”, I will be listing some anime that I do not think deserve another season. They’re just here because people are loud about not getting another season. These are mostly series I just didn’t enjoy watching.

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season They’re fine without another season as there are no cliffhangers to close and no questions that are really unanswered. These anime will not keep you up at night asking for an answer.

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season While it’s not mandatory that these anime have another season to be enjoyed, they’d sure benefit immensely with it. Whether it’s because there’s too many cliffhangers, things end abruptly, or there is just too much good source material that was left untouched, they’ll end up here. Even if I didn’t really enjoy the anime, some anime may end up here anyway.

Bonus Category: Anime Need a Reboot Not all adaptations are created equal, and even if the anime can be enjoyed on its own, sometimes it’d benefit from actually looking at the source material and going, “Oh, it was written that way for a reason!” Some anime just need the Brotherhood treatment. From pacing to anime-exclusive storylines, anime in this category stray so much that you might as well just start from the ground up.

*Please note that if an anime isn’t here, it might be because I haven’t watched it (or I bypassed it in my listing journey)

*Categories Two and One are listed from “Bottom Tier” to “Top Tier” in terms of how much I think it needs a sequel/continuation

*I almost never read the manga. These are mostly speculations/me spoiling the series for myself by reading the last chapter of the manga after finishing the anime.

*The bottom half of category three really rips my soul out when people say that there’s no chance of another season.

Category One: Anime That Supposedly Deserve Another Season

Aoharu x Machinegun

The manga is still on-going, but I wasn’t interested enough to really pay any mind. It would benefit from another season due to it ending on a point that made sense, but you could tell there was way more behind the curtain.

Btooom

Remember when they joked about this gross anime getting another season? Hahaha! There’s a story behind it, apparently. Anyway, it leaves off unfinished, but I don’t need any more of whatever this show was. This show is garbage, questionable garbage at that.

Ao Haru Ride

This anime made me kinda bored. The characters were kind of bland. The world was kind of bland. This anime left as much of an impression on me as white-coloured pencils did in grade school. I’m sure it’d benefit from another season, but whether that’d actually make me like the series is another question.

Code: Breaker

This series was pretty bad. I enjoyed it at the time, but it was pretty bad. I don’t recommend this show to anyone. It technically has a ton of manga material left (I think it was a 100+ chapters?)

Classroom of the Elite

I actually strongly disliked this show and wanted it to be over, but people said it got good. I stuck it out. I didn’t like any of the characters. I couldn’t find a reason to enjoy this show, and maybe it’d benefit by having some more story content to it, but if you can’t make me enjoy any of the cast after 12 episodes, you’re not getting any more of my time.

No Game No Life

Admit it, 90% of the people who want another season of this just want to see more fanservice.

Category Two: Anime That Can Get Another Season

Kyoukai no Rinne

This series is very repetitive. I’m surprised it survived three seasons. I still really liked it, but it is counted as one of Takahashi’s weakest works (not sure why though). I would mind seeing it receiving the rest of its adaptation.

Hai to Gensou no Grimgar

While it ended well, it probably has a lot more story to tell. This is an earlier isekai, and it’s hard to say whether it’d do better in today’s isekai market. This anime is what Sword Art Online should’ve been. This show takes it slow. Its action isn’t as over-the-top, and while it has fanservice, the show still feels far more real than SAO markets itself to be (but it does it on purpose)

Hinamatsuri

This anime made me laugh too hard for me not to want a continuation. They also had a character they didn’t have time to touch base on.

Runway de Waratte

There’s quite a lot of manga material to go on. I feel like we haven’t seen the characters develop to their max, and the protagonist hasn’t even gotten his full shot yet. This anime is an underdog, no matter how you look at it, it’s a shounen series about runway fashion, but I’m rooting for it!

Yamada-kun to 7-nin no Majo

I hear the manga goes downhill, and honestly, you could’ve just let it end right where season one ended, and I would’ve gone, “Wow, that was pretty good!” It did come back and “overstay its welcome” according to manga readers, but those final chapters make up for that.

Gakkougurashi

I respect the way that this anime decided to end, but there’s a lot of potential to take it elsewhere. It has a lot of material too. I feel like not a lot of the backstories of even the main cast were revealed.

Category Three: Anime That Need Another Season

Kimi to Boku

I had a hard time determining which category this anime should go under, but I think this category fits it best. The manga does pause sometimes. There are a lot of loose ends romance-wise, but it could’ve easily gone into the previous category.

D-Frag

This is a romance anime that didn’t really get to any of its romance. It hinted, it tried, but it stuck to the comedy route (which I respect). However, there is a lot of potential if this anime ever did want to return.

Hataraku Maou-Sama

This series really needs a season two. It was an isekai before its time, and it has a lot of comedy that made me laugh. There are romance ends that are left up, and the underlying background plot went virtually nowhere. It ended, and it makes the audience go, “That was good and enjoyable”, but it leaves nothing else.

Mob Psycho 100

I’m pretty sure this anime will get another season, but it will take some time. This series does have the popularity, and since it was quite recent, I think it’s just a matter of time. Studio Bones is far too thirsty to leave their man alone. Let’s be real.

Ranma ½

I think what bothers me the most about this one is the fact that they had the right number of episodes to finish the series, but because the manga was still publishing at the time, they had to use a lot of filler which ultimately took away from a lot of the series. The Ranma manga ending had about as closed of an ending that you can have for a series like Ranma. There are some arcs in there that I think would boost the story after a lot of those OVAs left an unsatisfied taste in people’s mouths. I didn’t even bother watching those.

Nisekoi

I’m not sure if I would want an adaptation if it were to happen because I don’t like the ending anyway. There is material there though if they wanted to, and I do think it’s a bit annoying if you focus so heavily on romance and harem then just don’t end it conclusively.

Grand Blue

According to someone I know, the manga gets good. This anime was really funny during some of the parts, so I really wouldn’t mind a continuation.

Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

This manga actually did end, and I feel like it’s really missing out by not finishing itself. Shoujo manga and other romance manga do rely on having the characters graduate, get together, etc. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun didn’t get that chance, and since the manga has a more conclusive ending, I think the anime should too.

Tsurezure Children

This anime focuses on everything so ends up with little progression in the long run. A lot of this is puppy love, but we never really move beyond that stage with the countless couples. I think this anime would greatly benefit with a continuation because it got so little done than series that focused on one couple. Focusing on multiple couples is part of this series’ charms though.

Yuri on Ice

I personally don’t feel a strong need for a season two, but I’m sure a lot of people would enjoy it because it has a large audience that are attached to these characters. They weren’t at their final stage yet.

Edit: They just announced a continuation called “Yuri!!! on Ice The Movie: Ice Adolescence”

Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

The manga just hit a really pivotal point at the time that I’m writing this post, but the manga usually publishes monthly leaving it little room for successive seasons. Regardless, I feel that the series has more than enough popularity to carry it, and despite some of the real big corners that were cut during the making of the first season, people are still invested. I actually read the manga and can say that it has enough material for a second season.

Wotakoi

I actually read the manga for this series sometimes, and let me tell you, this series REALLY SHOULD GET a continuation. Sure, it’s sweet that you know who ends up with who, but this series is about “mature romance” (i.e. beyond high school). 12 episodes isn’t enough for this series. There’s so much awesome stuff that’s happened and is happening in the manga.

Deadman Wonderland

This anime isn’t great by any means. It’s a gore fest. However, a lot of its plot holes and questions could’ve been answered if it went further in its source material. I’m not sure how much it would’ve made it make sense, but this anime is one of the ones here that really suffered from their lack of time to adapt the manga. Without some of the explanations, this series may little sense. I don’t really want another season simply because I didn’t really enjoy this anime, but I think I put it up here just because of how much it would benefit from a continuation.

Ouran High School Host Club

Legend has it that every April Fool’s Day, someone goes on Twitter and announces season two. As much as we’d want that, Studio Bones is busy doing something to do with Bungou Stray Dogs or My Hero Academia. I already had to debunk a fake Ouran Season Two post for someone on Discord. I didn’t really enjoy the romance in Ouran (stayed for the comedy), so it would probably benefit from a continuation, even if it is a reboot. I mostly put this one here because of how much fans want it. Personally, I’d still be able to rest in peace either way. Regardless, it woudl still benefit immensely if they were to continue what they started.

Kekkaishi

This anime actually left 200+ chapters of manga untouched when it was adapting. I’m not sure of timelines and whether it was because of the manga publishing at the time that the anime was airing. Now that it’s a finished series in terms of manga, it can always get a reboot. It’s definitely worth it since it just finished on one arc.

Akatsuki no Yona

To me, Akatsuki no Yona was okay, but it could’ve been great... if they didn’t end on literally what the entire series was building up to. As a result of that, the anime really feels like a long manga advertisement going, “Wow, you sure are stupid for not reading the manga like the rest of us nerds!” The only reason why this series isn’t even higher on the list is because the other series did a better job cementing itself into a place in my heart. Akatsuki no Yona could’ve done that if they were given enough time, but alas, this series really suffers from a lack of anime adaptation.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun

It is such a shame that this anime doesn’t have another season. The OVAs are great, but if this had another season or two, they would be legendary. The voice actors really added to the comedy (the manga is still funny, but it’s didn’t make me laugh as much as the anime). The quirky soundtrack really adds to the atmosphere, and there’s so much development that’s gone down since its first season run. I really, really, really want another season. But this anime can be enjoyed even if it doesn’t.

Gin no Saji

This anime is incredibly enjoyable even if it doesn’t have a third season, but with the manga tying up all the loose ends with Hiromu Arakawa’s incredible storytelling, I find it really disappointing that they couldn’t get another season for this. Its characters were so likeable. I watched this anime with my mom who keeps nattering about a season three. If only such a thing were to exist.

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic

As with a lot of shounen anime, this ended on one arc. However, this still had well over 100+ chapters that could’ve been adapted in series to come. The seiyuu events were hilarious, and this anime really hit its stride, but it left us all hanging. Now that the manga’s finished, I feel that it would be really great if we were to get another season. There were some arcs that I read that were so good. This was the first anime I watched, and it always holds a special place in my soul. I do hear the manga goes downhill majorly towards the end, but I’m sure that even that stuff would still be watched by people like me (heck, people waited for Black Clover to get good, come on!)

This also includes the Sinbad spinoff that felt more like a trailer rather than a full series. It wasn’t given nearly enough time.

Noragami

Noragami is extremely popular, and I think one of the reasons that it didn’t get the rest adapted is because the manga went on hiatus for about a year. However, I feel that it still had more than enough material to make some more way. Studio Bones is still busy with Bungou Stray Dogs and My Hero Academia, but Noragami would benefit by cleaning up some of the cliffhangers left behind. The future arcs are also really good, so the source material at least maintains some quality.

SKET Dance

I finished this series (both anime and manga) a couple of days ago, and I want to write a post about it. It was so good. It made me read 100 chapters in two days or something. But if this were to get adapted, this would give the series a MAJOR CHANCE to fix up the ending. Unfortunately, the manga ending disappointed a lot of people (including me), so being able to maybe just give the people what they want (I don’t care if it’s cheesy). They left a good chunk of great, hilarious, and touching arcs that would be able to keep toe-to-toe with the fantastic series they’ve done up to this point. I think it might’ve stopped due to the anime catching up, but come on, I just want this anime to get equal treatment to Gintama!!! It gets compared so often anyway!!! Series like these make me think, “If I was Jeff Bezos, I would just throw my money into making another season of this.” The seiyuu of this anime made the lines so funny too. I will be thinking and talking about this series for a while.

Anime that Deserve a Reboot

Soul Eater

They really just dropped the source material in the last half.

No. 6

The pacing kind of sucked in comparison to other materials, apparently.

Kids on the Slope

The pacing for this also really sucked and didn’t give a conclusive ending either way.

#anime #sket dance #noragami #ouran koukou host club #magi: the labyrinth of magic #Jibaku Shounen Hanako kun #gin no saji #gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun #mob psycho 100 #deadman wonderland #yuri on ice

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the-nysh · 3 years

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btw, explain to a plebe what is going on with bnha O.O

Whew...a LOT! :’D Specifically, 3 separate things at once: new movie, s5 starting, and the manga entering its ‘final act.’

Today we got the trailer for the 3rd movie: World Heroes Mission. Which you might’ve seen from those new stealth hero suit designs for the main trio. Apparently it looks like an undercover, abroad internship (with some scenes in San Francisco?) the students take with Endeavor & Hawks. But then there’s the bit about Deku being framed for ‘mass murder’ which is another !?!? Unsure about what all that means, but it looks exciting & interesting.

Next, today was also the first episode of season 5. Which mainly features a lighthearted, anime-original school drill (vs ‘villains’ attacking) to get previous viewers up to speed. But it also shows the manga content left on a cliffhanger from last season to continue the actual story (about Endeavor, Hawks, and Dabi) so the episode isn’t entirely skippable and worth watching, imo. :O

...Which both feel sort of like whiplash if you’ve been following the manga. Hero society collapse following the wake and fallout of the war arc. With many casualties on both sides (yes, even one of their teachers died) and some of the worst criminals (including AfO’s original body) have broken out of prison, forcing civilians to take vigilante matters into their own hands, since many have given up on relying on heroes who’ve failed to protect them in all this chaos. (With the surviving top heroes, Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist, forced to pick up the pieces, take responsibility, and face the worst of the civilians’ grievances.)

Meanwhile the students have entered their 2nd year, but Deku had been in a coma following the battle (talking with OfA’s predecessors in his mind over his resolve to confront Shiggy).......only to suddenly wake with the decision to drop out & leave school to ‘protect’ everyone. O.O Leaving us with no other explanation other than a goodbye letter he left for his classmates, where he finally confessed about OfA and how AfO & Shiggy were after him. (So yes, many readers are rightly shocked and outraged at this sudden, unpredictable turn of events, labeled as the beginning of the ‘final act.’) Cause for now, we’ve yet to understand what Deku’s thinking, and we never got any reactions from his closest friends & family over this either. (Inko? All Might? Kacchan? Todoroki? Iida? None whatsoever, except Uraraka’s pov dismissed and thanked as just another classmate.) Deku’s wearing his bloodied, tattered suit and Gran Torino’s cape leftover from the battle too, with no answer whether Gran Torino’s kicked the bucket before Deku left either. There’s so many unanswered questions and important points left unresolved to prolong the angst, that seeing s5′s fun & happy content adapted just feels tonally weird in contrast. Because what s5′s marketing looks to be the last ‘lighthearted’ school arc we’ll probably ever see, so enjoy it while it lasts... :’))

#bnha #manga spoilers #umnokorito #replies #welcome to the current chaos 8'D #we get a fresh new movie trailer and s5 debut today #...while the manga is catapulting us thru pure angst and suffering in contrast; oh what joy 8'DDD

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jenetica · 3 years

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A Brief Note from Our Sponsors: Us.

Greetings! If you’re here, it’s likely that you have questions or complaints about our decisions regarding the Calendar Girls series. An ominous start to this discussion, but truly, we welcome you! If you’re here, it means you have been emotionally impacted by our work and, even though this context isn’t the cheeriest, we are so, so grateful you (1) enjoyed our work enough to care about it, and (2) want to develop a better understanding of our process so that you can engage with Calendar Girl more.

First of all, we understand why you’d be upset with us! The cliffhanger at the end of AotM was a DOOZY and leaves a LOT of important questions unanswered, and we left you readers hanging for a LONG time. This post will, hopefully, assuage the worst of your fears without giving away too many plot points.

That being said, please note that there WILL be spoilers ahead. If you want to see the story unfold as we intended, do NOT read this post further. We will tell you now that the post addresses the Deadpool’s identity, our decisions regarding the construction of AotM and the final cliffhanger, our decisions regarding developing the sequel as a prequel, and our plans for future installments. And, naturally, the accusations of “queerbaiting.”

Let’s get started.

QUEERBAITING

It makes sense to open with the most serious issue, so let’s talk about queerbaiting. For anyone here who doesn’t know, queerbaiting is defined as the purposeful insinuation of a homosexual/queer relationship, only to backtrack/subvert that insinuation to avoid the queer relationship. For an example, see: Supernatural from Season 4 and on.

We have received accusations of queerbaiting for about four years, based exclusively on the reveal at the end of the final chapter. Similarly, we have received complaints that we duped readers into reading hetfic. So, to get things out of the way, yes, Deadpool is Gwen. No, it’s not a trick of the light, or a mistake, or some odd resemblance. They are one and the same. HOWEVER, that does NOT mean that we have queerbaited anyone.

First of all, the tags of the story are honest, and they always have been. AotM is tagged as a “Multi” fic, meaning that there are relationships of multiple orientations involved, and it is tagged with Peter/Gwen as well as Peter/Wade. Careless Whisper is tagged as F/M. We have never suggested or implied that the story would exclusively be slash fiction. We actually left multiple hints that Wade enjoyed femininity, at least as a practice, if not an identity. iFlail and I discussed this issue at length as we wrote/edited AotM and carefully crafted the story with queerbaiting in mind.

Peter is an unreliable narrator, he always has been, and he always will be. In AotM, Peter assumes Wade is a man and thus, for the purposes of the narrative, Wade is one. The truth, however, is less clean than that. We won’t get into the details here, but safe to say, gender is not binary, it is not permanent, and it is not inexorably linked to one’s biology. Wade has a complicated history and a complicated/unique sense of identity. We have always intended for him to be that way, just as we always intended for him to be notably, pointedly smaller than Peter.

The accusations of queerbaiting and/or conning readers into reading “het” fic are exclusionary of the greater conversation of gender identity. It was, frankly, disheartening to see so many people assume heterosexuality based exclusively on the last word of AotM. We hope that our work will challenge readers to be more mindful of the expansive world of gender, and to avoid assuming that a specific kind of pairing might involve specific kinds of body parts.

If you have any questions or reservations about our queerbaiting at this point, you are either welcome to keep reading future installments of this work to learn more, or you are welcome to stop altogether. The choice is yours.

CONSTRUCTING THE STORY ARC - PRESENT, PAST, AND FUTURE

With that hot-button topic out of the way, let’s talk about the greater concept of ending a story of a cliffhanger, our thoughts behind building this series, and our goals for future installments.

The second part of the Calendar Girl series, Careless Whisper, was written first, and it comes first chronologically. I (Jenetica) initially worked on the story by myself, as an exploration into the concept of “Gwen becoming Deadpool” to see how it might play out. I ended up writing a story I loved, so I moved onto the next part of the story, set four years later. This ended up becoming Angel of the Morning.

@iflailfic, a good IRL friend of mine from college, came onboard (after I wooed her with several stories worth of porn, as you can see through a jaunt through my posted works) to help me edit. She fell in love with AotM and, as we worked on first draft edits, she floated the idea of AotM coming before Careless Whisper. Honestly, I rejected the idea at first (not sure if she actually knows/remembers that part, lol), because I couldn’t fathom how we would be able to link the parts of the story together. But, eventually, I began to realize her point: AotM introduces our protagonists, develops the “current” world for the series, and has a more dynamic/engaging plot.

The cliffhanger was a joke at first. My idea. I think my exact words were something like, “LOLOL what if we just ended on ‘GWEN?’ OMG IMAGINE hahahahaha.” But, as we continued to edit… it became the perfect way to end things. Anything that came after that point felt like trash. If we’d expanded any further, we ran the risk of falling headfirst into Part 3 and doubling the size of AotM. Let’s be real, the ending is, all waiting aside, an absolute nuclear bomb on the rest of the story.

We talked about the likelihood of enraged readers. But we rationalized it by telling each other/ourselves that we had Careless Whisper written, so the wait wouldn’t be too killer.

Best laid plans.

I (Jenetica) take full responsibility for the time it took to start posting again. Over the last four years, I have gone through a number of experiences that challenged my sense of self and pushed me to become a different person, including moving halfway across the country, attending a relatively prestigious law school where I was no longer “the smart kid in the room,” and losing the relationship that I later learned was toxic and abusive. I lost my confidence in a number of ways, including my confidence as a writer. I became terrified that I would never produce anything that lived up to AotM, and that I would disappoint the many (many!) readers demanding answers. Luckily for me, through that adversity I found rewarding friendships, a beautiful partner who treats me the way I’d always fantasized/written about people like me getting treated, and an engaging career that leaves me with enough energy to write. My experiences are mirrored by iFlail, who went through a different, but similarly life-changing, series of events. But through this all, we never lost hope in this story, and we always planned to complete the series. We are wiser, stronger people now, and we both believe that the story will be richer for it.

Which brings us to now, and our plans for the future. We do NOT intend to wait another four years to post X Gon’ Give It To Ya, the third and final installment of the series. We have spent countless hours brainstorming the plot, and all that’s really left to do is put it to paper. But, for people who are afraid of being burned twice, we will warn you now that Careless Whisper is JUST a prequel. If you want to know what happens after the “Gwen?” reveal, you will not get any answers until XGGITY (which I have, as of just now, decided to pronounce as “Ziggity”). We hope you stick around to watch Careless Whisper unfold, but we will understand if you want to wait until XGGITY to start reading again.

IN CONCLUSION - FINAL THOUGHTS

The Calendar Girl series has received more attention than we’d ever dreamed, and regardless of whether you liked or disliked our work, we want to thank you for taking the time to read it. If you made it to the end of AotM, we did something right, and again, we are so grateful that so many people have stuck with us this far.

We encourage everyone, moving forward, to keep a close eye on the tags that we use for our stories. We may not tag everything relevant, for the sake of preserving mystery about the plot, but we will be sure to tag everything that may be triggering or concerning, like self-harm, violence, or expected brand of romantic/sexual interactions. We will be adding this warning to the beginning of each story in the series.

Additionally, we want to acknowledge that there is a stark difference between legitimate concerns about the story and unfounded attacks on our character. Our decision to make this post is our attempt to dissuade the latter: We are not queerbaiting, and we have no interest in “forcing” people to read content that is not to their taste. However, that doesn’t mean that our execution of AotM, Careless Whisper, and/or XGGITY will be beyond reproach. The conversation on gender politics has evolved tremendously over the years that we’ve been working on this series, and it will undoubtedly continue to evolve as we progress into the future. We encourage constructive (!!!) criticism and open conversation on ways that we can improve our story, even if it involves tweaking published work to avoid mishandling deeply personal issues.

That said, if, after reading this post, you are still upset and/or unconvinced about our intentions for this series, we encourage you to stop reading it. We are not compensated for this work, and we have spent hundreds (probably thousands, by now) of hours striving to make the Calendar Girl series the best that it can be, for our own benefit. We believe that it may be the best fanfiction we will ever produce, and our satisfaction with our work is our priority. We will continue to post with that priority at the forefront, and with the demands of our reader base playing second fiddle. Similarly, we expect our readers to prioritize their needs above all others. We ask for your patience and your kindness moving forward and, if you cannot give us that, you are welcome to close the tab and move on with your life to other ventures that suit your interests better.

For those of you that choose to stay: You are in for a hell of a ride. We are both anxious to get through Careless Whisper, because we are both SO excited to share XGGITY with you. We believe it’s going to knock your socks off. We hope to see you there.

Thanks, everyone, and happy reading!

#angel of the morning #calendar girl #spideypool #hashtags

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erin-bo-berin · 4 years

Text

Darkest Storms & Brightest Rainbows (Part 2)

MASTERLIST

Part 1

Part 3

Hard Love (unofficial Part 4)

Since I couldn’t leave y’all hanging for too long, here is part 2 of my Spencer/Reader/Cat fic. This is where things kind of go in a different direction from the show, but I thought it would be a nice twist than what we know from the show. This takes place over about a year so that’s why there’s so many skips in time. But in this part, there’s some answered questions from the first part...only to be replaced with more unanswered questions and perhaps another cliffhanger. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Word Count: 4,168

Rating: G (some angst, some fluff)

Grief is a strange thing.

Some people grieve quietly, away from the public. Others, dive into work or another activity to keep their mind busy as they try to place that grief into something else. Occasionally, people skip grief and go straight to anger, questioning the world why they lost their loved one; but in most cases one grieves normally, keeping the person alive in their memories as the pain fades and becomes easier to live with.

But sometimes, grief can consume you. It can completely engulf your entire body, feeling like every cell of your being has been replaced with sorrow. The world doesn’t seem real as the only world you inhabit is the one inside you, filled with despair and sadness. No one could ever be able to describe it, no one could truly know how awful it feels.

You had never felt such a horrible feeling. At least not until now.

•

It was less than a week later that Spencer’s funeral was held. The amount of people that had shown up was astounding, not that you could blame them. Spencer truly was one of a kind; not only great at his work, but a wonderful person.

You couldn’t help but think the sea of black that surrounded his casket was a metaphor for your current emotional state. The world felt dulled by your pain.

With nowhere else to go, you were forced to stay at Spencer’s apartment, a blessing and a curse in one.

The dark green walls, the deep brown furniture, the living room filled with shelves and shelves of his books were both comforting and painful at the same time. You couldn’t help but notice just how quiet the entire place felt without him to fill the atmosphere with his knowledge and loving nature.

Almost immediately after the funeral, you took to staying in bed. The deep brown sheets still smelled like him and you didn’t want to leave. You just wanted to stay in this little bubble forever.

•

The scenery was filled with busy streets, people walking by on the sidewalk and cars and buses zooming past on the street.

He sat at an outdoor table of the small café, sipping his coffee, awaiting his company. It wasn’t long until he spotted her amongst the crowd of pedestrians, her long blonde ponytail swinging as she walked.

“Hey,” she sat down across from him.

“Coffee?” he offered.

“No thanks.”

She pulled out two manila envelopes, ready to get down to business.

“In here is the information you need to access both of your bank accounts. One here in Moscow, the other in St. Petersburg. Both have enough in them for you to be comfortable while you lay low.”

“Alright,” he took both envelopes and put them in his bag for safe keeping.

“Are you doing okay?”

“I’ll be fine. How is she?”

She blew out a breath, not sure she could tell him just how bad it was.

“Not good.”

“Promise me one thing, okay?”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Take care of her while I’m gone. Please, JJ, that’s all I ask.”

She nodded, moving to stand.

“Be careful, Spence.”

•

It’d been only a month. 30 days since you’d heard the terrible words “Spencer’s gone”.

You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that he never made it off the operating table. The bullet had just been too hard to find, there was too much blood, he was crashing too fast.

At least that’s all you could remember being told by the doctors, the numerous members of the BAU and other people you couldn’t remember. It was like the entire experience had been wiped clean from your mind, only bits and pieces of memory flashing here and there.

Your mental health had taken a nosedive. You barely left bed because all you wanted to do was sleep. You ended up losing your job, but you didn’t have enough energy in you to even care.

You didn’t eat.

You barely managed to get out of bed for a shower. Somehow you stumbled to the shower maybe once a week and that was because your friends made you.

It had been a rotating crew of the team visiting you.

Mostly it was Penelope, Emily and JJ, but Rossi, Morgan and Tara stopped by a few times too.

Even Hotch showed up.

You could tell just how much your misery bothered him and he, like Morgan, spent his time trying to make things right rather than pay you visits.

Not that you cared all that much.

“We will catch her,” Emily said.

You sat in the middle of the bed, one of the brown sheets in your hand as you played with it, not looking up at your company that was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Spencer wouldn’t want this for you. He wouldn’t want to see you not able to leave bed, not being able to grieve properly,” she said gently.

“I don’t know what Spencer would want. Cause he’s not here, is he?!” Your lower lip trembled, tears threatening again.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, brushing away the tears although it did no good since they were falling faster than you could wipe them away.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Emily pulled you into a hug, “We all miss him too.”

She let you cry until you felt completely drained of tears. With all the crying you’d done, you were amazed there were still tears left to shed.

“Have you eaten anything today?” She pulled back, looking at your face.

“I tried to eat some toast this morning, but I threw it up.”

“It’s probably because you haven’t eaten much,” Emily answered, “Do you want me to get you something? We could order a pizza?”

You shake your head, your stomach rolling at the thought of it.

“Thank you, but no.”

When Emily left ten minutes later, you crawled back into bed, shutting your eyes, willing sleep to come and rob you of your memories.

•

“We should tell her.”

“Garcia, no. You know that Hotch advised against it,” Morgan said.

“But she’s miserable,” Emily added.

“Guys, Spencer made us promise we wouldn’t tell her. It’s safer that way. If she knows he’s alive, Cat could come after her to get to him. That’s the last thing he wants,” JJ said.

“I was just over there last night and took her some food. I thought she was going to puke just looking at it. It’s like she’s wasting away to nothing,” Penelope frowned, “Literally and figuratively.”

“Reid was basically all she had, other than us. With no family left, we’re all she has,” Rossi jumped in.

“That’s why we’re not going to give up on her, okay? Or finding Cat,” JJ said, looking around at the other teammates, “We’re going to find this bitch if it’s the last thing we do.”

•

The next time you had company, you were too busy with your head in the toilet to hear anyone let themselves in.

“Oh my goodness, honey.”

You hear the distant voice of Penelope Garcia as she rushed into the bathroom, kneeling to rub your back as you retched again.

“Did you eat something bad?”

“I haven’t eaten anything for 48 hours. I’m amazed there’s anything left in me to throw up,” you groaned.

“How about I make you some of my infamous Garcia chicken noodle soup?”

You nodded, even though your appetite was nearly nonexistent and let her assist you back to the bedroom.

“You look horrible,” Garcia winced, “Sounds like you’ve caught a nasty bug.”

You pulled the sheets up over you as you laid back down.

“Tell me about it. All I want to do is sleep but I can’t for throwing up. Plus I guess I’m starting my period cause my boobs hurt like hell.”

“Oh that’s the wor-” she paused mid sentence and you look up at her, waiting for her to continue.

“I’ll be back in a little bit okay? You just rest and I’ll get that soup started.”

She dashed out of the room and you peered after her, too exhausted to question what was wrong. Soon after, you drifted off.

“JJ, Y/N’s throwing up, exhausted and her boobs hurt doesn’t that sound just like…?”

Penelope was pacing the length of the kitchen, which wasn’t very big to begin with, as she talked to JJ on her phone.

“Yeah, it does,” JJ agreed.

“Should I ask her or?”

“Give me an hour to grab Emily and we’ll be there.”

•

“Y/N?”

In your dream, you woke to Spencer shaking you gently, smiling sweetly down at you. Your heart swelled with love for him, just looking up at him. You reached out to touch him, when he called your name again. Only it wasn’t coming from him this time.

“Y/N? Y/N?”

You felt a gentle shake of your shoulder and your eyes opened to see JJ, Emily and Penelope surrounding you. You sat up, rubbing your eyes, confused.

“What’s going on?”

“Garcia called and told us you’ve been pretty sick lately,” Emily said, “I remember you said you were sick the last time I visited. How long have you been throwing up?”

You shrugged, “It’s been off and on for a few weeks. Why?”

The three exchanged a look before turning back to you.

“When was your last period?” JJ questioned.

“Oh, uh,” you stopped to think, realizing you’d been so consumed with grief you hadn’t even registered the absence of your monthly cycle.

“About two months before the hitmen case.” Your eyes widened at the realization.

That was over 3 months ago now. Then, you’d just assumed it was stress making you skip your periods.

“Could you be pregnant?” Garcia gasped, trying hard to suppress her grin.

“I...I don’t know,” you answered truthfully.

You couldn’t remember the last time you and Spencer had been intimate. The last few months of his life had been so busy, filled with cases that usually it was just a matter of being together when you had a spare moment.

“Don’t worry. That’s why we brought these.”

JJ held up a bag with three different pregnancy tests.

“One for each of us to check,” Emily added.

“Now why don’t you go take these and go take a shower. We can check them after you get out,” Garcia said.

You nodded, obeying their orders.

After a quick shower, you stood in fresh clothes, your hair still dripping wet. The three women stood looking at the pregnancy tests you’d taken and left out.

“Well?” you asked, biting your thumbnail.

“Positive,” JJ answered.

Emily looked up from hers, “Positive.”

“Positive!” Garcia squeaked, bouncing on her feet.

You felt your mouth drop in utter surprise and wonder, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks.

“I’m...pregnant?” you whispered, tears forming in your eyes, a small smile on your face.

“You’re pregnant!” Garcia squealed, rushing over to hug you, the other two joining in on the group hug.

For once, your tears were tears of joy. There was a part of Spencer that would always live on through this baby.

You had a reason to live again; a tiny, growing reason, but a reason nonetheless.

•

The following weeks were less than desirable in your opinion.

After being forced to visit the hospital by your friends and having an examination by Derek’s fiancé Savannah, you discovered that you were severely dehydrated from your weeks of grieving.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing you’d deprived your little one of the food and nutrients it needed to grow. Savannah—who happened to be close to delivering her and Morgan’s first child—had assured you that after some fluids from a couple of IVs you would be fine. All you had to do from here was to continue to eat properly and take your prenatals and the little one would be just fine.

“This is what you get to look forward to,” she’d chuckled, rubbing a hand over her round 35 week pregnant belly.

You had found out that you were 12 weeks along, just a week shy of your second trimester. Unfortunately, you had still experienced morning sickness all day long and still only looked bloated, not pregnant.

But time passed quickly.

Four months turned into six. Six turned into eight. There were many changes that happened around you besides the growing human inside of you.

The search for Cat continued, the team working their asses off to find her, but with no luck nor leads.

Changes to the team happened too.

Derek Morgan retired from the FBI, wanting to be with his now wife, Savannah and his little boy Hank. You’d sent him off tearfully. He was one of Spencer’s best friends, one that you had become close with too over the years, but you knew he was going to be the best dad.

A new member joined in his place, Luke Alvez. He had been familiar with Spencer as well and the team welcomed him into the family, as did you.

Then Hotch decided his time with the FBI was coming to an end. After a particularly grueling case, he put in his resignation paperwork. He was happy to be a more involved father to his almost teenaged aged son, Jack. You wished him all the best, knowing he was going to have the time of his life with more time for Jack, even though it was hard to see him go.

Emily stepped up as the new unit chief and brought in agent Matt Simmons, another agent you were familiar with. A tall, handsome, hardworking sweetheart, you were glad to welcome him to the team as well.

The changes within you were just as extreme as the ones around you.

Your belly grew bigger, your little one stronger. You felt kicks and movement daily now, each move warming your heart, although you couldn’t help but wish quite often that Spencer was around to witness this. He would be so in love with this baby, you were sure of it.

You struggled with the decision to find out the sex of the baby. With a vote between you and your friends, it was a unanimous vote for yes.

Mere weeks after the discovery of your pregnancy you found out you were carrying a precious baby girl. You were completely overjoyed, as was the entire team. You couldn’t help but feel grateful for the team of people that would be loving extended members of the family and of course, babysitters. Occasionally though, the melancholy feeling would creep back into your subconscious.

Spencer would’ve been over the moon knowing he was going to have a little girl. He would’ve spoiled her so much and she would have him wrapped around her little finger. You missed him daily, even though a part of him grew in your belly. You couldn’t help but be sad for your little girl who would never have the chance to meet her amazing father.

It was then after many weeks of contemplating a name, that the perfect one came to you. You decided to keep it a secret until she was born, much to the team’s dismay, but you wanted it to be a surprise. In your heart though, you knew it was the perfect name for her.

Your ninth month of pregnancy had finally arrived as did the other symptoms of your final trimester. You were tired, achy and felt like you’d swallowed a watermelon. You were so ready to get this baby out.

As if overnight, Spencer’s apartment had been filled with baby things in preparation for her arrival. Her crib was in the spare bedroom, although she wasn’t going to leave your side for the first few months, hence the bassinet next to the bed in the bedroom.

Bottles were lined up in the kitchen, boxes of diapers sitting in the living room. You couldn’t believe it was almost time to meet her; secretly you hoped that she took after her daddy, both in looks and personality.

“How are we feeling today, mama?” JJ asked when you met her and Garcia for your weekly lunch.

“Like a huge, swollen basketball,” you laughed.

“Hey princess, auntie Penelope can’t wait to meet you,” Garcia rubbed your belly, making you grin.

“Maybe you need to give her more pep talks because I’m so ready for her to get out,” you groaned, “And to see my feet again.”

“Henry and Michael are so excited for her to be born,” JJ chuckled, “I’m going to have to tell them to be gentle with her though, they’re not used to little girls.”

You grinned. You loved JJ’s two boys. Spencer had been their godfather, so you’d kind of become an auntie to them. She often brought them to visit you when you were still grieving Spencer’s death and they were the only ones who could bring a smile to your face during your darkest period.

After you’d found out you were pregnant and started rebuilding your life again, you often volunteered to babysit them. Other than your little girl, they were the ones who motivated you to begin healing and getting stronger.

They got more excited the bigger your belly grew. Henry, the oldest would often try to explain to his younger brother Michael that babies came from mommy’s tummies. He also told him that there came a point when mommy and daddy loved them so much that there was no room left for the baby in the mommy’s belly. So, the baby had to come out in order to get the rest of that love. It warmed your heart knowing that one day, your child would be this big and this smart.

You were so thankful for them and for the entire team in general for pulling you out of the hole of despair you’d been in for you might not be sitting here right now.

When you’d ordered, the three of you sat and chatted about their current cases and baby stuff until you felt a slight trickle down your leg. With a glance under the table, you realized your pants were soaked. For a moment, you thought you’d peed yourself.

You groaned, expressing your concern. Even though that was just a symptom of pregnancy, it wasn’t any less embarrassing.

But the flow of the trickle became heavier. When JJ came around the table to assess the situation, her eyes widened, taking in your now soaked seat.

“I think your water just broke.”

A flurry of activity followed.

18 hours of labor and nearly 2 hours of pushing later, you were holding your daughter, staring at her in amazement.

Her tiny fist was holding onto your finger and you smiled down at her, tears blurring your vision. It was early yet, but you thought she looked just like Spencer.

She had a head of brown hair, his eye shape and his mouth, but your nose; although it looked much cuter on her.

“She’s so cute,” Garcia cooed at her, stroking her cheek.

“Spence would be so happy, Y/N,” JJ said.

You smiled up at them. They’d been the ones you’d requested to be in the delivery room and they’d been amazing helping you through the rough labor.

“Can I hold her?”

“Of course,” you smiled, handing her to Penelope.

“Me next,” JJ smiled, holding her little hand.

“So are you gonna tell us her name now or what?” Garcia urged.

“Yes,” you smiled, “I thought it would be appropriate for her to always have a part of her daddy with her. So I decided to name her Spensa. Spensa Rose Reid.”

“That’s beautiful,” JJ breathed, looking down at her, “Hello, Spensa. You look just like your daddy.”

•

Adjusting to being a single mother was difficult, but so rewarding. It helped a ton that you had so many willing helping hands, as well.

Spensa was such a laid back baby and loved to be sociable, even at five months old. She truly was the light of your life.

You loved watching her grow and learn new things, from rolling over to waving and clapping her hands. She babbled a lot as well nowadays.

Her dark head of hair had lightened to a lighter shade of brown and was just starting to curl at the ends. Her blue eyes surprisingly hadn’t turned dark yet and she still looked so much like Spencer.

She had the little dimples in the side of her cheeks that only showed up when she made specific expressions and she liked to scrunch her nose occasionally, just like daddy. It was almost hard to tell that she was yours, but you didn’t mind one bit.

She was the sweetest baby and you fell in love with her more every day.

As to be expected, the entire team fell head over heels for her and often took turns visiting when they had time. Sometimes, you even took her to the BAU to visit all her aunts and uncles.

You often talked to her about Spencer, even though you knew she was too young to understand. It was amazing how the knowledge of her had eased so much of the grief you had felt those first few months. You still longed for him, missed him so much, but in a way he was alive and with you within Spensa.

It was nearing her bedtime one night and you were rocking her in the chair next to the crib.

“Do you want to hear another bedtime story about daddy?”

She baby talked in response, playing with her toy giraffe.

“Well, your daddy was the bravest man I know. He was so passionate about his work and he was good at it too. He was sweet as you are, ladybug.”

You tickled her stomach, smiling at her giggles.

She laid back in your arms, still playing with the toy in her arms, her gaze on you.

“He cared so much about the people he loved. He would have loved you too munchkin. He loved kids so much and he wanted his own some day. I wish he could be here to see you.”

The tears choked you and you wiped a hand over your face as they fell. Spensa started fussing as if she could sense your sadness.

“It’s okay baby,” you repositioned her on your lap, reaching for the frame of you and Spencer on her dresser.

“You wanna say goodnight to daddy?”

Spensa babbled to the picture, putting her hand on it.

It might have seemed silly to do such a thing every night, but you never wanted her to not know who Spencer was.

You kissed the top of her head.

“I love you, Spensa.”

•

In Moscow, it was a pretty standard day for Spencer.

He had managed to set a pretty strict schedule in his time here. It had been nearly a year and he had gotten used to life in Moscow. He still worried daily about his girlfriend though, worrying for your safety.

It was Thursday evening, the usual time he went to the market, yet when he returned to his place, something felt off.

On the entrance table, there was a lone red rose and a note. His eyes scanned over the note.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a surprise

And a secret too

Love,

Cat

He automatically reached for his gun that he carried at all times, just underneath his pant leg, in an ankle holster.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” came the taunting, familiar voice from behind him.

He turned around to face the living room and saw Cat sitting in one of the arm chairs, her gun on the arm.

“Spencie,” she grinned, “Miss me?”

•

It was just after nine. Spensa had just been put down again after her 8 o’clock feeding and you were attempting to rinse some dishes off before you headed to bed.

The tv played in the living room and you turned, confused when you no longer heard any sound coming from it. You shrugged it off, chalking it up to a possible power outage.

You returned to the dirty dishes, the clinking plates masking the noise of the sliding porch door clicking shut. A creak from behind you made you freeze in place. You glanced up, a figure approaching behind you clear in the reflection of the window.

Before you even had the chance to cry out, something hard struck the back of your head and everything went black.

•

You groaned, your head pounding. You reached up to rub the sore spot, wincing as you try to sit up. It was bright behind your eyes and you fought to slowly open them, blinking a few times until your surroundings come in to focus.

That’s when you saw them.

Across the room stood your dead boyfriend, lips locked with none other than Cat Adams.

Tag List: @dreatine @reid-187 @groovyreid @reidslibra @suvikamahes98blr @fuckthealarm @whatspunispun @iamburdened @cindywayne @thomasfoockinshelby @tinyminy88 @theitcaramelchick @missprettyboy @hushlilbabydoll @sammy-jo1977 @theonlyone-meeeee @haileymorelikestupid @lemonypink @multifandommandy

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid gifs #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid gifs #dr spencer reid smut #cat adams #spencer and cat #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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writingquestionsanswered · 4 years

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When you’re not sure if your story will be one book or multiple, is leaving it on a potentially deadly cliffhanger okay? The final battle being a “did they survive?” situation? Tips for doing this well without annoying readers? I think it would be just one book, but I think it would be a good ending - my protagonist maybe surviving, maybe not, but having killed the murderess in the process. I’m not sure if I explained that well enough?

Cliffhangers vs Unresolved Endings in Books

First, let me clarify the difference between a cliffhanger and an unresolved ending...

Stories must have a certain general structure. In its most basic form, story structure looks like this:

Through the setup and rising action, you make numerous promises to your reader by laying out threads and posing questions. The climax and falling action should resolve the main conflict, and the resolution allows you to tie up most of those loose threads and answer most of those unanswered questions.

When you cut the story off right before the end of the climax, or right after the end of the climax, you’re not ending on a cliffhanger, you’re just cutting off the end of the story. Essentially, that looks like this:

That’s an unresolved ending... an incomplete story, and nobody wants to read that. ;)

If that kind of ending seems “good” to you, it’s because it’s easy. You’re getting out of all the work required to resolve the main conflict and tie things up. You’re essentially driving the reader 3/4 of the way to their destination, dropping them off at the side of the road, and wishing them good luck as you leave them in the dust. There’s no way to avoid infuriating your readers if you take that route.

“Cliffhangers” have more nuance. You need to resolve the main conflict by ending the climax and going through the falling action, then you need to tie up most of the loose threads and answer most of the unanswered questions (or at least put them to bed) through the resolution.

So, how do you do that? First, you need to figure out your purpose in having a cliffhanger. Are you trying to draw the reader into reading the next book? Or are you simply trying to end with a gut punch?

If you’re just looking for a gut punch (with or without a sequel), look for an unanswered question that doesn’t need to be answered in order for the story to be resolved. For example, maybe one of the story’s many questions was the parentage of your orphaned protagonist. If who their parents are isn’t important to the story, and if you’ve already laid out a few options--which, again, none of which impact the story--you could end with the character just about to find out who their parents really are. That’s a good gut punch. It will leave your reader reeling, speculating, wishing for more--simultaneously hating and praising you. It’s a gut punch, but you’re not leaving anything unresolved. The character finds out who their parents are... it’s resolved. The reader just isn’t privy to that information. That’s a good cliffhanger. Another example would be when your characters have spent the whole book fighting and triumphing over an alien invasion, and after all of the mourning, celebrating, and rebuilding, your character goes to bed one night, turns off the light, and hears the telltale hiss of one of the aliens. Again, GUT PUNCH! Is there really an alien left alive? Is it going to hurt or even kill the protagonist? Does this mean the fight’s not over? Does it mean the fight is really just beginning? There are lots of questions, but the answer could just as easily be, “It wasn’t really an alien, it was the wind. Or, it was the air conditioner turning on.” So, you’re not leaving the actual story unresolved. Your protagonist isn’t dangling off the edge of a building when the last sentence ends.

If you’re trying to draw the reader into reading the next book, you generally want to end with a new or re-stated question... and I don’t mean a question that you literally ask. I mean a question that the reader will ask themselves based on whatever you’ve laid out. For example, the reader might think, “The protagonist defeated the evil king in this battle, but the evil king is still out there. Will the protagonist be able to defeat them once and for all?” Or, it could be a new question that’s presented during the resolution. Like, maybe the protagonist defeated the antagonist in this big battle, but at the end, during the big celebration, a message is delivered to the protagonist letting them know the antagonist has struck again, in a new place this time. And your protagonist tells another character to gather the rest of the team. The reader is left with the question, “Where did the antagonist strike and what was the result? How will the protagonist respond? What will happen next?” Again, nothing of the main conflict is left unresolved. That’s a successful cliffhanger ending. :)

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Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

#writing #writing tips #writing help #writing advice #writeblr #wqaadvice

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jellybeanbeing · 5 years

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A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir *UPDATED*

Synopsis:

Beyond the Empire and within it, the threat of war looms ever larger.

The Blood Shrike, Helene Aquilla, is assailed on all sides. Emperor Marcus, haunted by his past, grows increasingly unstable, while the Commandant capitalizes on his madness to bolster her own power. As Helene searches for a way to hold back the approaching darkness, her sister's life and the lives of all those in the Empire hang in the balance.

Far to the east, Laia of Serra knows the fate of the world lies not in the machinations of the Martial court, but in stopping the Nightbringer. But while hunting for a way to bring him down, Laia faces unexpected threats from those she hoped would aid her, and is drawn into a battle she never thought she'd have to fight.

And in the land between the living and the dead, Elias Veturius has given up his freedom to serve as Soul Catcher. But in doing so, he has vowed himself to an ancient power that will stop at nothing to ensure Elias's devotion--even at the cost of his humanity.

REVIEW WITH SPOILERS!

So I read A Reaper at the Gates again and I have new thoughts.

This re-read for me was surprisingly pleasant. I wasn’t planning on reading this but I had a sudden urge to read it so I just picked it up and it was really good. And don’t get me wrong, if you read my other review for this book, you will know that I loved it the first time around, but this time I just noticed a lot of different things that captured my attention and made the story even more complex and better. But I will be honest and say the true reason that I picked up this book again was because of Helene and Avitas. I just really love those two and their slow burn romance. I was really looking forward to it and it was just as I remembered if not, better. Anyways, onto the review!

Starting off with Elias, I know I said I didn’t like his chapters the first time around, but I’ve grown to really love them and appreciate them and his character. But his chapters still weren’t my favorite. Anyways, I found that his chapters were the most emotional and heart wrenching because Elias, this dude who loves so much, has to learn not to love anymore. We can see his slow progression into his detachment to the human world and it is so sad to read. I also really liked that with his chapters, we the readers got to see the true complexity that is this novel. The story is essential set up in the beginning as good vs evil, but with the stories of the jinn, we see that all sides have done their damage so the big question is put out there: who’s right and who’s wrong? And I absolutely love this because it strays away from the black and white of things and shows the true realities of war and the world.

Laia kind of annoyed me this time around. I love her with all of my heart but, she kept doing things she was told not to do, and it bothered me. I was so frustrated with her because I felt like she kept playing hero at the wrong times. She kept trying to save every one person she saw suffering, and I know her reasoning for it (because she wants to save just one life if she can or something like that) but THINK OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. Yeah, she can save that one child, but she can also save thousands of others if she just kept going instead of stopping for every one person. And don’t get me started with how easily this girl gets distracted. When she found out that Cook was her mom and they were reunited, she literally stopped and said that what happened between them was more important than their mission TO SAVE THE ENTIRE EMPIRE. HELLO? MORE IMPORTANT? *sighs heavily* I will say though, that I love that Laia makes mistakes. It makes sense for her character because all the others are more experienced than she is, with all the killing and other stuff. It also makes her more real.

Helene Aquilla is my girl. I love her so much. I just love seeing her growth, though it is heartbreaking. Her chapters were (again) my favorite, and I think that really has to do with the amount of different characters in her chapters. She is really the only character in this book who interacts with more than four people throughout the entire book. Through Helene’s chapters, we the readers can really grasp at how serious and more complex the war is. Also the “villains” were most present in Helene’s chapters and boy, are they written so well. I’ll get to that later. I guess all I really have to say for Helene though, is that I just loved her and her chapters. There’s nothing more to say.

Now for all three of these characters—Elias, Laia, and Helene—the one absolute thing that bothered me was that they didn’t seem to use their brains or common sense.

For Elias, he kept fucking around when Shaeva was trying to teach him his role as Soul Catcher and she even told him that she didn’t know if she would have enough time but still he kept skipping out and not learning. And what did that result in? Shaeva dying and then Elias barely having clue on how to pass on the ghosts all because he didn’t fucking listen.

For Laia, she kept passing over the minuscule details that later turned out to be crucial. In the beginning, she notices that the town where she’s trying to free Mamie, is empty and she’s like, that’s no concern of mine. WELL IT TURNS OUT THAT THAT WAS CRUCIAL BECAUSE YA GOT CAUGHT. She also kept assuming things that were later on not true, like when she thought she was the ghost and was so certain of it but it turned out that Cook was the ghost.

For Helene, she used her brains at bit more like with the figuring out the ships and what not, but she kept playing into the Commandant’s hands unintentionally, even when she was warned so many times not to. I think she just kept thinking about being one step ahead of Keris that she literally played into her hands and was like, ARE YOU SERIOUS? And let’s be honest, Avitas was a real big help in helping Helene try to take down Keris.

Now for the “villains” (The Commandant, The Nightbringer, and Marcus), I personally really liked how well they were written. The complexity and human qualities they have make them such interesting characters.

First off, Marcus: What he became at Blackcliff and after that was truly disgusting. He deserved to die, but I can’t help but feel sad for him. In Elias’s last chapter, there’s a line that explains this perfectly: “I take their darkness—that which Blackcliff found within them and nurtured—and Mauth consumes it...When I look back at the twins, they are boys once more, untainted by the world.” It’s so real and it’s sad. I will admit that I cried at his death scene and the last scene where he is with his brother. After Zak’s death, we see the more human side of him leaking through and it gave his character more complexity than just being this stagnant jackass.

For The Nightbringer, we see in his own two chapters why he wants to bring the jinn back. With his character’s POV and the jinn’s story, it really shifts the image of his character from being just evil into this morally grey character. He’s doing what he’s doing because he wants his family back and they were betrayed. He wants vengeance. I really love this because it gives reason behind his doings. It doesn’t make him out to be this bad guy, just to be the bad guy.

And for Keris, I am the most intrigued by her. I find the meaning behind her tattoo so fascinating and so well done. I read that part again and my jaw was completely dropped. Slowly, we’re uncovering the secrets of her past and it’s so good. I am wanting more, especially with that cliffhanger at the end where the Wisp is actually Keris’s mom. There are so many unanswered questions and I want them now. She did get on my nerves though. So much.

The romances in this book weren’t very heavy but it was a good amount. Laia and Elias’s relationship was meh, for me if I’m being honest here. The one thing loved though was how they kept referring to each other as friends or that they just really cared for each other. I was like, yeah, yeah, shut up, y’all love each other.

But Helene and Avitas? My favorite! Slow burn and hate to love romances are my absolute favorite tropes and that’s what this couple is. I love the slow build up of their attraction for each other and the subtle flirting that happens. It’s so darn cute and I’m shipping this so hard.

I cannot wait for when Elias finally tells Laia what he said in the caravan before he left: “You are temple, you are my priest, you are my prayer, you are my release.” I AM READY TO CRY WHEN IT HAPPENS.

Also, I cannot, I repeat, CANNOT wait for when Avitas finally says “Helene” instead of Blood Shrike. I WILL SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS WHEN IT HAPPENS. He’s been so close to saying it and I just can’t wait. God, these romances kill me.

One last thing before I wrap everything up. The one thing that really had me thinking was, does Blackcliff Academy not train their students in things other than combat? Because Elias, top student of Blackcliff Academy, seemed to lack in skills like strategy and stuff like that. And whenever he mentioned about going into Mask-mode, it was to always fight and be emotionless. And if the answer is yes, Blackcliff does teach things other than combat, then why and how the hell did Elias become the top student? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. Also, does Laia have a last name? Where is Spiro Teluman? That man literally up and left. What are the rankings for the soldiers? (Auxes, centurions, masks, all that jazz). Okay, that’s it. 4/5 stars!

Definitely go check out my other Reaper review!

#an ember in the ashes #a torch against the night #a reaper at the gates #sabaa tahir #books #book review #book reviews #spoilers #book spoilers #elias veturius #laia of serra #helene aquilla

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scorbleeo · 5 years

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Ink (Paper Gods, #1) | Book Review

by Amanda Sun

Synopsis

On the heels of a family tragedy, the last thing Katie Greene wants to do is move halfway across the world. Stuck with her aunt in Shizuoka, Japan, Katie feels lost. Alone. She doesn’t know the language, she can barely hold a pair of chopsticks, and she can’t seem to get the hang of taking her shoes off whenever she enters a building. Then there’s gorgeous but aloof Tomohiro, star of the school’s kendo team. How did he really get the scar on his arm? Katie isn’t prepared for the answer. But when she sees the things he draws start moving, there’s no denying the truth: Tomo has a connection to the ancient gods of Japan, and being near Katie is causing his abilities to spiral out of control. If the wrong people notice, they'll both be targets. Katie never wanted to move to Japan—now she may not make it out of the country alive.

Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13423346-ink

Thoughts

I do not remember ever hearing anyone mention Ink. I do not remember how I came across Ink on Goodreads. But I have to say, I am glad this book made it’s way into my life. It might have taken me longer to get into this book considering the year I added this book into my to-read list. However, you know the saying ‘better late than never’, at least I’ve finally gotten into Ink.

This book is nowhere near perfect. I still have confusion and questions left unanswered at the end of the book. They aren’t even questions related to Ink’s cliffhanger. Yet despite all that, I thoroughly enjoyed breezing through the book. As we are nearing the end of 2019 now, I shall just say it, Ink is definitely one of my best reads of 2019.

Plot (storyline, writing style, and flow of story etc.)

Ink takes place in Japan, if it isn’t obvious enough. I admit, it was tough reading the book initially. Especially with simple, frequently-used Japanese terms or the way their first and last names worked. Actually, I am still the Japanese idiot I was when I first began reading Ink, but I’ve gotten past that stage of uncomfortable confusion. At least now I know whose first and last names belong to who. It is also because of this very reason that made reading Ink a breath of fresh air. The culture was different from the kind of books I usually read and I have to say, I actually like reading an English book with a culture I’ve heard so much about but never experienced it myself.

It’s actually the Japanese God(s) or Kami that were the confusing part. Up until now, the deal with Kamis still confuse me utterly. Like, who exactly are they? Simply descendants? Why are they acting/reacting the way they are? How on earth does the ink and everything else play into the horrible things that are happening because of Kamis? Most importantly, I still do not know what’s the motive. I don’t even know whose motive I should place my focus on. Which is why as much as this book was very entertaining and fast-paced, it was nowhere near perfect. There were too much beating around the bush, and no answers to many questions.

Characters

As for Sun’s characters, Katie Greene is a very typical book protagonist. She’s not perfect, nor is she entirely flawed. She’s confident, but she has embarrassing moments too. As far as characters in fantasy/paranormal stories go, Katie is one of the handfuls out there that are more towards the realistic side. At the moment, I do like Katie and I loved seeing her relationship growth with her aunt, Diane. That relationship growth was beautiful, made even more at the end of Ink.

As for our other protagonist, Yuu Tomohiro. This guy makes me so confused! Trust me when I say, I am equally as confused with Tomohiro as Katie is with him. I understand why his personality is such a mess, but I honestly would not be his friend if I actually met someone like him. I would say Tomohiro has signs of bipolar disorder but I am not qualified to diagnose him, so no, I am not saying he has it. Imagine a hurricane: Before it arrives – peace, when it arrives – catastrophic, in the middle of that catastrophe – calm, after it leaves – chaos. That is what Tomohiro feels like to me. Not that I dislike it, I just get all flustered reading about him.

Then there’s Ishikawa Satoshi. Another confusing guy. Whenever he comes into the picture, I’m just filled with questions. What is up with him? Is he evil or only evil due to circumstances? Is he actually a nice person? He’s even harder to read than Tomohiro.

And apart from Satoshi, Takahashi Jun is another complicated guy. Another character I had trouble understanding. I can tell he has good intentions, very one-sided but nonetheless good intentions for his one-sided opinions. But why do I have a feeling he’s going to be a villain in the next books? I knew something was up with Jun the second he appeared and I do not have a good feeling about it.

Conclusion

Is it because I’m not used to the Japanese culture so I’m not used to the Japanese characters in Ink? Or are they simply confusing AF? Good thing I actually enjoyed reading this book and think highly of the plot-line, otherwise this review would be downright negative.

I am looking forward to reading the next book, but I am also eager to see if Sun keeps up her writing standard for the Paper Gods series, or it would not be as good as Ink.

Rating: 4/5

#book review #ink #paper gods #amanda sun #katie greene #yuu tomohiro #ishikawa satoshi #takahashi jun #tanaka ichirou #yuki #young adult #ya #fantasy #paranormal #romance #mythology

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courtingstars · 6 years

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About Storming the Castle and The Vanishing Prince

Hi Tumblr! For anyone who missed it, I posted the final chapter of Storming the Castle on Sunday. And the first chapter of the next story, The Vanishing Prince, went up yesterday. (YAY.) I mentioned in one of my notes that I wanted to talk a little about the process of finishing StC, and why I decided to keep going with the series as planned. So this is that post!

As some of you already know, I decided to finish the last three chapters of Storming the Castle before posting them. What I didn’t mention at the time was that I also started writing the first few chapters of The Vanishing Prince. I wanted to talk a little bit about why I did that, for readers who are curious about the next story, and explain my plans for the series and how they changed/didn’t change this year…

(Also, if you want everything about the series to be a complete surprise, feel free to skip! I don’t go into spoilers, just really general stuff. And there is one spoiler for the first chapter of The Vanishing Prince, if you haven’t read it yet!)

Cut for writer rambling about why StC is way longer than it was supposed to be and why I almost didn’t write the next story…

So originally, Storming the Castle was supposed to be a shorter, novella-length story to connect the events of The Fast Train to Kyoto and The Vanishing Prince. (I actually made a post about my plans for that back in November 2016.) Based on what I had outlined at the time, I assumed the second fic would be about half the length of Fast Train. But then, uh… that didn’t happen? At all. (It actually turned out to be 10k longer than Fast Train. HOW.)

I honestly never intended for Storming the Castle to be so long, and if you’re wondering why that ended up being the case, well… The truth is, I had way too much fun writing the first part. Especially Furihata’s family! I loved them so much that I couldn’t resist letting them have longer scenes. The problem was, I wanted the length of the part about Furi’s house to roughly match the part about Akashi’s house, because they were supposed to be parallel, story-wise. And so the next thing I knew, the whole fic was getting way, WAY longer than I meant it to be.

At that point, I really started to question what I wanted to do with the series. The ending I had planned for Storming the Castle was a cliffhanger and left so many unresolved threads, which I normally would NEVER do for a story that long. I also had a severe case of writer’s block in 2017 because of mental health issues, which resulted in multiple hiatuses. So I started to really worry about how slow-paced the series was turning out to be. I always meant for A Spark of Light to be a slow burn romance, but it just seemed like too much, especially if I couldn’t guarantee that I would finish the storyline. So I seriously considered changing the ending to Storming the Castle, and making it the final fic in the series, where the plot would just be about Furihata and Akashi (Oreshi) getting close as friends and then realizing they were in love and deciding to date.

The only problem was… The Vanishing Prince.

The Vanishing Prince is, by far, the one AkaFuri story that I’ve always wanted to write the most. The first idea for a scene in it came to me before I even started drafting The Fast Train to Kyoto. (It’s the last scene in Chapter One!) But I’ve always been incredibly nervous to write it, because I knew it was a pretty complicated story that would involve a lot of research and emotional investment. (And to be 100% honest, I don’t feel like I’m a good enough writer to do it justice! Not because I think I’m a bad writer, really, but because the idea in my head is SO GOOD, if that makes any sense.) Also, it’s about a dissociative disorder, and Japanese mythology/culture, both of which are far removed from my own experience. So as I was finishing Storming the Castle, I started to chicken out, and think that maybe I shouldn’t write it after all.

Still, I wanted to try writing the first chapter, just to see how it felt. (And because to be honest, I REALLY wanted to write that one scene, even if I never posted it!) I figured that way, I’d be able to make an informed decision about whether to change the ending to Storming the Castle and end the series there instead. I still assumed The Vanishing Prince would just be too difficult—especially since I couldn’t figure out how to solve a problem I was having with the point-of-view. I didn’t want to start posting the fic unless I was VERY confident that I could finish it.

Then, while I was drafting, I tried alternating the point-of-view between Furihata and Oreshi and Bokushi in every chapter. And suddenly, everything started flowing. I got so excited when I wrote the last scene in Chapter One… That image, of Furihata waking up in Akashi’s bed and seeing Bokushi, has been floating around in my head for over three years. For a long time, I didn’t know what the context of it would be… Why was Furihata in Akashi’s bed? And why would Bokushi randomly show up in the middle of the night like that? What did he want? As I was writing the other fics in the series, I gradually realized the answers to those questions. And in the end, I just couldn’t let the idea go.

The Vanishing Prince directly addresses a lot of the different threads that have been introduced in the series. It focuses on Akashi’s past and family life, and also on Furihata’s supernatural abilities, and how these two stories weave together. And it’s definitely about falling in love. In a lot of ways, it’s really the second half to Storming the Castle, because it resolves so many of the themes that were introduced in that fic. So if you have a lot of unanswered questions after StC, The Vanishing Prince should address a lot of them. (And maybe a bunch of questions you didn’t have? //laughs)

This is the story about Akashi (both of him!) that I’ve always wanted to write. In a way, every fic I’ve written about him so far has been leading up to The Vanishing Prince, including The Bridges Between Us and Nearing Spring. It’s about Akashi’s past with his family, and giving Bokushi the credit I think he deserves, and why I think Furihata is amazing, and about a million other things. I know without a doubt that I’ll mess some of it up, and that it won’t as good as it is in my head. But at this point, I can promise that I will do everything I safely can to get this story out of my brain, so the people who are still following the series can finally read it.

So thank you all for being patient, while I figured this out. And again, I really do apologize, for how much of a cliffhanger Storming the Castle is! But I hope that the faster pace of The Vanishing Prince will make up for it. And I’ll do my absolute best to finish this series as quickly as possible, because you all deserve that (and because I want to write the ending so badly!). So thank you, for giving me the chance to tell the story I really wanted to tell, just like I always saw it in my head. Like I’ve said before, I don’t think I would have kept trying, if it weren’t for all of you who have told me you’re still reading it. <3

#long post #text post #kat rambles about her fanfics #kat writes fanfic #kat writes about basketball dorks #storming the castle #the vanishing prince #Kat has the best readers ever #<3<3<3

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brightbeautifulthings · 5 years

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Thirst 3: The Eternal Dawn by Christopher Pike

"But the simplest answer is best. A killer knows another killer, and I have killed thousands."

Year Read: 2013, 2019

Rating: 4/5

Context: Another lovely buddy read with Roberta from Offbeat YA (read her fabulous review here). I don't remember how I felt when I learned that Pike had decided to continue Sita's story nearly fifteen years after the end of the series. He's written that it never felt like her story was over, and fans of the series will have to agree. As proven by some of the more ridiculous things I love, I will continue to read a series (or watch a TV show) long after it has devolved into silliness for love of the characters. (Fortunately, that's not the case here.) There are spoilers ahead for The Last Vampire 1-6 (or Thirst 1-2, as they've been repackaged). Trigger warnings: death, violence, blood, torture, gore, body horror.

About: Fifteen years after the events of Creatures of Forever, Sita is still alive and well. She's on the verge of introducing herself to a descendant of her five-thousand-year lineage, a college student named Teri with Olympic aspirations. But Sita's life has always been dangerous, and bringing Teri and Teri's boyfriend, Matt, into her life will put them at risk. Almost at the same time, two terrifying new threats enter into her life. One has a long, secretive, and bloody history, and the other is one of the most quietly wealthy companies in the world with a horrifying power at their disposal. Both want Sita's unique talents for their own--or they want her dead, along with everyone she loves.

Thoughts: The struggle is real to write a description of this book, much less gather my thoughts into something coherent on it. Given that it's more than twice the size of The Last Vampire novels, it has a lot more going on. The plot is more sophisticated and less straightforward than any TLV novel yet, and it doesn't come anywhere close to resolving in this book. There are many, many questions left unanswered at the end, even without the major cliffhanger. As Roberta pointed out, it's more like Thirst 3 and 4 are one long, consecutive novel, and I'm having difficulty not critiquing it from what I know happens later. But here we go.

People who have read Creatures of Forever are probably wondering how he managed to go back on that ending. Sita erases vampires from history and lives out her human life, and Pike has a lot of work to do to unravel that conclusion. We know from the epilogue that it was Seymour narrating those stories, not Sita herself, so in the context of the Thirst-verse (I'm calling it that), the TLV-verse was the novels he wrote and not what actually happened. To Roberta's dismay and mine, this erases Seymour from the first six books, as he's never met Sita until now. It's far from elegant, and any inconsistencies between Thirst 3 and the TLV-verse are frustratingly explained away as Seymour's artistic license. You could make yourself crazy trying to fill in all those gaps (we know because we tried), so it's probably best to blue-pencil that from awareness as you're reading. It's not a strategy I care for, but I'm willing to overlook it in the interest of continuing her story.

Sita is still a strong, flawed, and lovable heroine. Her arrogance and impatience continue to get her into trouble, both with her adversaries and her friends, but it's nice to see that she's mostly consistent from the previous books. Seymour is older, a reclusive published novelist in his twenties, which only reinforces the feeling that Seymour is a mix of Sita's fans and Pike himself. Their meeting scene is both funny and heart-warming. I love this version of Seymour even more because he never fails to call Sita on her bullshit. We're also granted some insight into Yaksha's past, and that's a character I've been eager to return to since the first book. Shanti is sweet and loving; she's probably my favorite of the new characters. Teri and Sita don't share enough page time to really develop their relationship, and I'm far from Matt's biggest fan. He's brooding, overbearing, and sometimes childish, and I'd be just as happy if he weren't in the novel at all for a number of reasons.

The plot is complex, since Pike is introducing two new threats. They're both major organizations, albeit on different levels, and they're more formidable than anything Sita has faced in the past. I typically don’t go in for conspiracy-type plots, but as usual, it feels totally plausible in Pike’s capable hands. The stakes are so high that the plot relies on several dei ex machina to get Sita out of various fixes, which isn't entirely inconsistent with the rest of the series. It's always had a strong note of Eastern mythology, and Krishna has played a vital role from the beginning; however, it's a little more direct interference than we're used to.

More difficult to accept is the fact that Sita needs legitimate saving at one point in the novel for the first time ever. This would be fine--she’s always had help in the past, even if she had to do most of the actual saving herself--except that her savior is a mysterious male character who proceeds to overshadow her for the rest of the book. Sita's always been one of the strongest heroines I've ever read, yet she's here deferring authority to this random dude (okay, maybe not entirely random) in her own book. Pike is usually great about writing awesome female characters, but combining this with some of Seymour's comments in the epilogue (however joking they may be), there's a thread of underlying sexism. Thirst 3 is enjoyable, action-packed, and bloody, and it has probably the most ambitious plot so far in the series. It's also messy and flawed, and I can't entirely reconcile my feelings about it. It doesn't quite live up to the original books, but fingers crossed that things come together better in the next installment.

#book review #thirst 3: the eternal dawn #thirst 3 #the eternal dawn #christopher pike #thirst #thirst series #the last vampire #ya horror #ya paranormal #4/5 #rating: 4/5 #2019

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ybyg · 6 years

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Another round of TGD theories (no reviews and The Guest this time, because I’m feeling like shit and I can’t think. Give me 10 drinks, then we can talk.)

After the Chuseok cutoff, it’s hard to make any theories and that’s sad because two of my theories from last week were debunked. The ‘cliffhanger’ timings are all off due to this. I meant to discuss, but I don’t feel like it. Maybe in a few days when my brain works again.

If you’ve read my posts before, you know the drill: This Post Contains Ghost Detective Spoilers because I’m an asshole who has to reveal everything, so if you’re trying to avoid spoilers, don’t read until you’re all caught up. I have no idea how to write a goddamn show and I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I just love typing and talking and thinking and giving unsolicited opinions. No, seriously. Ask my friends.

BTW, if you’re reading this, why are you reading this?!

How did Dail end up in the middle of the street?

Let's get one thing straight: the 'jump' between 'Dail in the interrogation room' scene and 'Dail in the middle of the street in broad daylight with bloodshot eyes and seemingly had sucked out the bad juju' scene is... drastic. So who did he meet in between these scenes?

Based on the first scene, Dail entered the interrogation room in the most dramatic way possible. He forcefully turned Deokjoong's face as he realised that the latter was mind-controlled by Hye because the sclera turned red (heh I slept in science class, so thanks Google). In order to turn Deokjoong's face, he has to touch him. Right, there was no pain response from Dail. Should he be in pain, the response would be immediate. Cut to: Jungdae in his superior's office. Then, we were greeted by a shot of Dail somewhere in Seoul with bloodshot eyes, black veins visible underneath his skin, in pain, and he looked lost.

It's worth noting that all the pain responses Dail has gotten were moments he touches ghosts like Hye and the tunnel ghosts. When it comes to the victims of mind control, like Deokjoong in the interrogation room and the boy at the hospital, Dail has made contact with them, and yet hasn't shown any signs of being affected by the pain. But why were his eyes red? He could touch ghosts without his eyes turning red. So this means he was angry, and his evil side emerged (since Evil!Dail will only make an appearance when he's angry).

What happened in between the two scenes? Who did he meet that made him angry and simultaneously sucked the bad jujus from? He can't meet Alive!Hye, because, at that point of the story, they have yet to cross paths. He won't be able to meet the tunnel ghost because the helpful half (Chaewon's spirit mother) is gone for good (or is she?)

Since TGD has a track record for answering theories (doesn't matter if they're debunked or turned out to be true), I should expect to find out about this bit because it's been bugging me. If the intention of this scene was used in a way to establish the moment of realisation where he had heard the tourism fair jingle, then it's a huge loss for the story. If it's left unanswered, then it will be a frustrating loophole, and we want to avoid that.

The 'Can Chaewon Hear Dail' Saga Continues (because it's been bothering me)

We've previously established that Chaewon is one of the mysterious characters in the show. This has led me to believe that one of my theories about her to turned out to be true: as much as she's the outgoing character we all have fallen for, she's secretive and has a dark past. In this section, we'll talk about how this very character fucks with my emotion and why I'm starting to doubt my formerly 'confirmed' theory.

In the last review/theories post and also on Reddit, I theorised that she hasn't told the truth about the ghosts she can hear or see hence, we get to see her interacting with the grandpa ghost in Ep. 7/Ep. 14. But in Ep. 8, she was in a 'conversation' with Dail (patience... we'll get to this), it seemed like she could only see the silhouettes of the ghosts and not hear them, just like how we see Dail through her eyes. As of now, it's conclusive she's able to see only ghost grandpa and the tunnel ghost.

...or is it?

[Dail enters the elevator. We don't see Dail, but we know Chaewon does.]

Chaewon: Did you find anything?

Dail: Sunwoo Hye isn't here. Maybe she already approached everyone and controlled them to commit suicide.

Chaewon: It's impossible to control many people at once.

[Dail does a double-take. He expects to be in a one-handed conversation because Chaewon can't hear him.]

Chaewon: [cont.] If that was possible, she should've done it when she was in a coma. Point 1

[Dail looks at her up and down in confusion.]

Dail: You can hear me? Point 2

[Chaewon smirks.]

Chaewon: You're quite taken aback, aren't you? Point 3

[Dail looks away. Possibly feels awkward, but definitely confused.]

Chaewon: [cont.] I don't know about anything else, but I know what you might want to ask me. Point 4

[At this point, Dail shoots her another bewildered look in her direction. After she says her line, he relaxes.] Point 5

Dail: We need to find out how she's going to try and kill everyone.

[An idea hits Chaewon.]

Chaewon: Let me tell you something I found out yesterday.

Okay, let's stop right there and try to analyse the italicised dialogues and action.

It sounded like she could hear him and replied his query. She answered his question and didn't even hesitate. Her timing was spot-on too. Interesting.

Dail looked genuinely perplexed. He wasn't sure if he heard her right. Honestly, same. For that one second, he seemed convinced that she could hear him and that she replied to his remark. Remember: she wasn't supposed to hear him, but we've seen her doing this before and it was revealed that she could see him... well, not like how Yeowool sees him, but you get the picture.

Again, she answered him, but in an indirect manner. Instead, she posed him a rhetorical question or Dail simply just couldn't reply because he was baffled. Yay vagueness! On the other hand, Chaewon also didn't answer him with a definite answer like "Yes, I could hear you all along!" and we don't know for certain if she could hear him. We know that she is secretive and we discover more about Chaewon when she thinks if it's appropriate for her or when someone finds out about her (examples: Yeowool instructing Sangseob to find out about Chaewon, and when Jungdae finds out about her ability as he peeks from afar.)

This one frustrates me because I'm not sure if it's something that gets lost in translation, or if I'm the one who just couldn't understand it. If it's the former, I'm not blaming the translators because these things happen and not everything is translatable. K-dramas have the tendency to use flowery, vague-ass language, and since we only have one line to work with, let's try to dissect it. I'll be honest: I don't see how that very line connects with their previous questions or remarks. What about Chaewon expecting Dail to ask her a question, and her knowledge on this 'thing' is limited? We might be able to look at it this way: she can't hear him, but anticipates questions from him; basically, she'll blurt whatever she thinks Dail wants to know. If that's the case, how could she be certain that's what answers his questions? And her reply to him ten seconds prior to this 'revelation' was very specific. From here, the Dail's-and-Chaewon's-conversation end up being a one-sided conversation once again. Is this the writer's way to tease (in both sense) the viewers?

And Dail lets his guard down. Why? Probably there are more important matters at hand? Could he realise that Chaewon was just pulling his legs? So far, Chaewon hasn't tricked him about her abilities and everything she said and had done reveals that she knows what she's saying and doing, and she had done it with purpose. If this character is just playing that 'Haha, got you!" card, then it's a waste of time and is directionless.

As I rewatch the flashback scene with Chaewon and ghost grandpa, she did make an attempt at talking to the ghost child by asking it a question. She asked, "What do you want?" before ghost grandpa interjected with the information about how the other ghosts died.

Once again, when it comes to revealing her secrets, Chaewon does them whenever no one's watching, especially without Yeowool, Sangseob and Jungdae around. By right, based on this elevator scene, this means she could hear him.

So, could she really hear Dail? Is Chaewon taking a shot at answering Dail's questions, hoping that she answers his question? Could she just be playful and tricking him?

Why is Hye still so powerful?

Trigger warning: mentions of suicide.

So... Hye's not dead? And she's committed to terrorise everyone's lives, especially our Korean Scoobies'. We have six episodes (or twelve episodes, depending on how you see it) left for this drama, and we've just witnessed what might be one hell of a stretch so far... but with worldbuilding (which is our keyword), anything is possible.

The biggest questions like why Hye is the murderous rampaging bitch she is and why is she adamant on killing everyone have been answered. I guess in this particular story, anger is justifiable for acts of violence and manipulation... by a 12-year-old. Young!Hye didn't want to die, so she switched the laced Coke with her father's and fessed up to Dail, saying, "Yes, I killed [my father]!" rather than rationalising it as an act of self-defence. What can a 12-year-old do except to feel angry about what she had done when she was alive? Also, what can a child rationalise?

I have to say I don't get why Deokjoong said those words because he was the only adult who was with her since the death of her family. This is why Hye was angry: to hear someone say that she should be killed and that she's not able to survive alone is disheartening. He was guilty of encouraging a traumatised 12-year-old to attempt suicide, and he hasn't made an attempt to rectify his words or tell her what she's done is wrong and it's not her fault. What the writer didn't explain was this: was Deokjoong an idiot that he didn't realise how damaging his words were, or was he under some kind of influence (at this point, not Hye's) to say those horrible things? Could it also mean that 12 years-old Hye misinterpreted what Deokjoong was saying?

Alright, let's talk about why Hye might be able to retain her psychic powers. (Again, this is worldbuilding and has got nothing to do with how real life operates. Duh.)

Theory 1: Dail realises and knows a fetch's powers are learned skills. For example, if you know how to build a table from scratch, you should be able to do it from scratch, regardless of your form as a person or a fetch. Like Dail, he's still a sharp detective, and he knows his shit even when he's a fetch because that's what he's good at. Whereas Hye who have been a fetch the majority of her existence is good at mind manipulation. What she learned as a ghost gets carried to when she's alive.

Theory 2: I've mentioned show Hye's a great manipulator, and how she tricked both Dail and Yeowool into believing that only one of them has the power to kill her. Let's say Dail was the one who wasn't supposed to kill her, and it's Yeowool who was supposed to do it (which I think is the truth), Hye wasn't 'properly' killed, and with him doing the deed, he entrapped her spirit. Someone who's been in comatose for 25 years is basically dead, for lack of better word, despite Deokjoong going out of his way to keep her alive, hence why he wanted Yeowool's body to become Hye's new host. But what had happened was that it was Dail who'd done it, and he used the weapon that killed Yirang. So back to Theory 1: because of this, she was able to return to her body along with her powers.

It's safe to say that in a fictitious story, in my aunt's words, the bad guys will have the advantage, and the good guys will need to struggle in order to defeat the bad guys. However, there's a downside to Hye being advantageous (alive and possesses mind manipulation powers).

I'm not going to pretend as if I liked this Alive!Hye thing. I genuinely don't like where it's going. We've seen Dail and Yeowool in distress in their attempts at defeating her, and Hye's always been the strongest, and just like a sadist, I love it. To end Fetch!Hye, it'll be an equivalent to a boss level fight. It would've been fun to watch them go through Hell in order to defeat her, and in return, we'll be able to see better characters' development especially Dail, Yeowool, Sangseob, and Chaewon. It could be done with the involvement of Dail's newfound powers; how he insists on gaining and perfecting the powers he gain, and he ends up being an evil spirit (because we can't all win.)

Alive!Hye's appearance was great -- it created a buzz. Despite it being exciting, I can't help to feel like the writer chickened out from a crazy yet effective plan because they can't outline what will lead to the final battle. It's too easy to kill Alive!Hye, but had it been harder, it'd be worthwhile. For the sake of the story in a long run, it's a half-hearted and desperate attempt to find an easy way out/way to end the story after what the writer had panned out at the beginning of the drama which was very promising.

I enjoy overthinking things. Anything you folks have in mind? :)

#the ghost detective #qila rambles

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