#anyway! something something life transitions it's just A Lot even when it's good stuff

[shen-daozhang]

FINALLY found out that I got the life-changing librarian position that I applied for back in the middle of December (and that I did a teaching demo for in early May)

which is very good news except it was overshadowed by the fact that the day I got the offer call from HR was the day my grandmother died.

it's been .... A Week, I don't even know what to say about it lol

[infizero]

you guys dont understand how much splatoon means to me. you will never understand

[lastoneout]

I def agree that Nimona's story was a major trans allegory for sure, but also as a queer person in general the whole "maybe I wouldn't die, but I sure wouldn't be living" thing resonated so hard, and like especially as a bisexual person.

Cuz being bi+ there's a lot of pressure from both sides to pick one, either be gay or be straight, and it gets way worse when we're in a relationship, bcs people will say shit like "oh well you're a woman dating a man, so you're straight now, why do you keep talking about being bi?" or vice-versa, like people don't understand why recognizing my indentity is important outside of the context of a relationship, and it's so frustrating bcs yeah like, maybe from the outside it looks like I'm straight, and maybe I could just be quiet and ignore my identity and I'd wouldn't die, but...I wouldn't be living.

And it was wild too bcs a few months back I was talking with my fiancé, who's also bi, and kinda venting cuz I'd seen some of that kind of biphobia in the wild and it'd upset me, and I remember saying something so similar. Like "I could probably just shut up and pretend I'm not bisexual, but that would feel like a death, like some part of me had died, I wouldn't be able to really live" so to hear Nimona say basically the exact same thing? Instant tears. I've never felt more understood.

And even with the other parts of myself, being asexual and trying to figure out what sort of relationship I want to have to my gender, so often I see people say stuff like "why do you have to tell other people that you're ace" and "if you're not going to transition at all why does your gender identity matter" and it's like because this is my authentic self and expressing that is the only way I can feel like my life is worth living!!

It's just so nice to hear that put into words, and I have a feeling a lot of queer people of all identities could relate in that moment, bcs we all hear the refrain of "why can't you just keep this to yourself and pretend you're normal" over and over again from ignorant people, some who mean well and some who very much Do Not, and Nimona is right! Maybe some of us wouldn't die outright, but for a lot of us a life spent hiding who we are, stuffing ourselves in boxes for the comfort of others, trying desperately to seem normal, it simply isn't a life where we're truly living.

Anyway rambling over, this movie is just so good and so queer and ough I can't stop crying about it T-T

[captainzigo]

hey hi hello , as a fellow trans girl pony enjoyer i love ur art and posts and the like!!

do you have any headcanons abt how HRT affects ponies? personally when i transitioned i made my self insert OC have a lighter coat & mane color and changed her name a bit so she transitioned with me :) the hormones been brightening her up quite a bit

:3 yes! i think it changes your cutiemark

on the left that’s marble pie from the show. pinkie’s sister. and that is octavio pie on the right. pinkie’s brother. from the silly pony life show. identical in design to marble, and not mentioned once in any of the many friendship is magic episodes about pinkie’s family. that’s because these are before and after transition pictures. i doubt anyone thinks of pony life as canon, but if it were then what im saying would be straight up canon. like not even headcanon.

one of the reasons people headcanon trixie as trans is she uses some animation assets normally used for the boy ponies. the only one i remember is her irises, but i seem to remember she may have also had a bigger horn? i don’t know if there’s any headcanons to form from that lol. but i like coming up with really alien biologies. like maybe some ponies wear contacts as an affirmation thing? that’s weird but it’s kinda cool to me. also possibly getting horns reshaped somehow

also i think they probably do transitions with magic. or maybe they do it with potions. but whatever they do its all fancy and whimsical like the rest of the stuff they do. when trixie and twilight had that magic duel they said no one can do the spell that “turns a mare into a stallion” but that’s not really what gender affirming procedures do anyway.

Prickly Pear, my oc from my profile. was just an oc long before i started using her as a sort of sona. i will not be revealing her assigned gender. but i did draw an actual sona one time and that bitch definitely used to have a different cutiemark. probably something i hate but was still kinda good at. like choir

man i drew her a while ago. her proportions are weird. although i guess i do have a lot of ass in real life so maybe that’s fine

i realize now i talked mostly about affirming procedures and not just hrt, but close enough. i think your cutiemark changes magically when you redefine your own identity for yourself. also this is just a headcanon i have. i’m not denying the transness of ponies who’s cutiemarks stayed the same through transition.

[queen-haq]

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)

Fic: Grudgingly Yours (Part 6)

Summary: You are a general surgeon, working in a hospital that’s slowly sucking the life out of you when one day you’re given the offer of a lifetime.

A.K.A  - An arranged marriage fic :)

Pairing: Billy Russo x You

Rating: R

Masterlist (contains links to my other stories and this one)

PART 6

You were sitting at your desk in the home office you made for yourself, focused on projections for the urgent care when a knock on the door interrupted your focus. Billy walked in with his usual arrogant gait, his gaze locked on you.

“You look busy,” he drawled, coming over to where you were sitting. Standing beside you, he leaned back on the desk, casually flipping through the excel printouts you’d been reviewing.

“I am busy.” You grabbed the sheets from his hand and placed them back on the desk. “What do you want?”

“What’s all this stuff?”

“Work.”

“Didn’t you cash me in as a golden ticket? Thought that meant you never had to work again.”

“I used you to quit the hospital, not my entire career.”

“Could’ve just switched jobs instead of dragging me into your mess.”

“Then I’d be working for another soul-sucking board of assholes.” You sighed with resignation. There was so much to be done and it felt like time was running out. Part of the reason you’d agreed to Alistair’s plans wasn’t just for financial gain, but also to have access to his wealthy contacts who could be of use when it came to permits and donations. Unfortunately Alistair was still mad and you were drowning in bureaucratic red tape. “At this rate, that’ll happen anyway.”

“What are you trying to get done?”

“Like you give a shit.”

“I don’t. I’m just killing time.” He cocked his eyebrow. “So tell me.”

Sitting back in your chair, you cast a wary glance at the task list on your laptop screen. “Build a clinic in my old neighbourhood.” Dejected, you bit the inside of your cheek. “But that’s gonna be a lot tougher than I thought.”

“Why? Not enough funding?”

“Permit issues. I was hoping Alistair would help with that-

“But he’s pissed.” Billy tipped his head to the side. “And he’s a vengeful old prick.”

“Now you tell me.”

“I know people who can help.”

Surprised, you returned your attention back to him. “Really?”

“Yeah. Same family friends, remember?”

“How could I forget,” you muttered, angling forward. “But why would you help me? What’s in it for you?”

A small smile played across his lips. “Maybe I’m doing it out of the goodness of my heart.”

“You don’t have one. So what do you want?”

The smile transitioned into a fully amused smirk. “There’ s a wedding I have to attend. A good friend of mine. As much as I want to keep this shit between us a secret, he found out about you.”

“Aw, he wants to meet your wife.”

“Something like that.”

Laughing, you stood up. “Will we need to hold hands? Kiss? Pretend we’re newlyweds madly in love?” Looping your arms around his neck, you taunted in a sing-song voice. “Is this a ploy to get me to fall in love with you?”

“You’ve watched too many romcoms.” Despite his grumbling tone, his eyes twinkled with delight. “None of that shit is gonna happen, no matter how badly you want it.” He unlocked your arms from around him but didn’t let go of your hands. “You help me out, I’ll help you out. We have a deal?”

“How do I know you’ll hold up your end?”

There was that perfectly arched eyebrow again, questioning you. “You don’t trust me?”

“Not even a little bit.”

He squeezed your hands, the heat from his touch pulsing through you. “I should be the one doubting you. You tried to seduce me in my sleep.”

“Still telling yourself that lie? You know it’s bullshit.”You tried to back away but his grasp on you remained firm, pulling you closer. You wanted to kick yourself. Yeah you liked toying with him, it was fun seeing him get all worked up, but recently he stopped responding in anger and started pushing your buttons instead, and you didn’t like it. Not when the deep, dark pools of his eyes fixated on you, as if he was trying to absorb all your thoughts and feelings and secrets, and his proximity played havoc with your thoughts.

“Hate to ruin your fantasies, sweetheart, but we’ll be getting separate rooms at the hotel. I don’t want you attacking me again.”

You gave him a forced smile. “Fuck off, Billy.”

He laughed, finally releasing his hold on you. “And when we come back, I’ll introduce you to my contacts.”

“You better.” Needing distance from him, you exited the office and headed to the kitchen to grab a drink. Unfortunately, he followed suit. You did your best to ignore him but it was hard to do that when his gaze followed your every move. “Your friends know the real reason we got married?”

“You mean did I tell them you’re a golddigger?” he remarked dryly, grabbing some pretzels from a jar, and throwing them back in his mouth one by one. “Obviously not. Don’t want to look like a chump.”

“Great,” you groused. “That means I have to be nice to you.”

“Yes, sweetheart. It does.”

“Your friends are gonna be assholes too, aren’t they?”

“Curtis and I served together.”

Shit. Now you felt like an asshole since you’d assumed they were his high society friends.

“He’s saved my ass a few times over the years. I’ve saved his. Now he’s getting married and wants me to be his groomsmen.”

“When’s the wedding?”

“This weekend. In California.”

“Why so soon?”

“I didn’t ask.”

You scowled at him. “I thought you guys were friends?”

“Doesn’t mean we share every fucking detail about our lives. He asked me to be there, so I’m going. Not gonna fucking interrogate the man about it.”

Men, you huffed to yourself. Taking a sip of your drink, you watched as he languidly munched on the pretzels. By now you should have gotten used to his lingering stare but it still caught you by surprise when you found yourself scrutinized by him. These days he was checking you out more and more, and each time it left you unsettled. You contemplated calling him out on it, but with Billy being Billy, he’d probably claim you were being delusional.

Billy slid the pretzel jar back on the island before moving to the sink to wash his hands. Drying them, he sauntered over to where you stood, smoothly reaching over to grab the drink from your hand.

“Hey!”

A mischievous smile curved his lips as he took a sip of your drink. “Whole event’s gonna take place over a few days. Bachelor party on Thursday-”

“-Guessing I’m not invited to that?”

“Rehearsal dinner on Friday. Wedding on Saturday.”

“I have an important meeting this Friday.”

“Fly out after. We can meet up there.”

“Hope your friends are not boring, Billy.”

“You can always get them drunk and get ammunition on me.”

You rubbed your hands together with glee. “Oooh, there’s an idea.”

“And I’ll do the same with your friends next time I see them.”

“Absolutely not. Never gonna happen.”

He booped your nose, moving closer. “It’s only fair, don’t you think? You meet mine, I meet yours.”

It dawned on you how intimate the whole encounter was. The two of you teasing each other, being flirty, like an actual couple. And you liked it. You liked this side of him. The realization was unnerving, leaving you feeling suddenly awkward. “I have to get back to work,” you said, feigning a relaxed pose as you quickly put some distance between the two you.

“You alright?” he asked from behind.

You didn’t answer.

***

You swiped the card and entered the hotel room. Immediately the stunning view of the lush green rolling hills caught your attention. The room wasn’t big; however it was exquisitely designed with bespoke furniture and a Bohemian aesthetic. After unpacking your luggage, you hopped into the shower and got ready for the rehearsal dinner. Your outfit for the night was a chocolate brown cocktail dress that fit you well, with simple jewelry, latte makeup and red lipstick. Gold sandals with midsized heels provided the finishing touches for the look that left you feeling sexy and beautiful. No doubt Billy wouldn’t appreciate the effort but maybe there’d be other hotties in attendance. Hooking up was out of the question but that didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the view.

You followed the signs to the restaurant venue, drawing closer to sounds of laughter. Nervousness flitted through you as you walked in, taking in the group of strangers mulling around. You didn’t know these people, and they were bound to judge you as soon as they found out you were married to Billy – it was painfully obvious you weren’t the type of woman he would ever choose.

Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself a mental shake and a pep talk.

So what if others thought Billy was too good for you? It didn’t matter. It’s not like you had feelings for him or anything, so their opinion didn’t matter. You were here just to put on a show so he’d do you a favour. That’s all. Your eyes scanned the room, searching for Billy, when you were approached by a tall, black hottie.

“Hey.”

You flashed him a smile. “Hi.”

“You looking for someone?”

“I’m here for Curtis and Jessica’s rehearsal dinner?”

“You’re in the right place. I’m Omar, Curtis’s cousin. You must be one of Jessica’s friends?” He asked, reaching out to grasp your hand.

Oh, the man had game, with his gorgeous smile and the subtle way his eyes trailed down your body. “I’m married to one of the groomsmen.”

“Too bad. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Me.” Billy seemed to come out of nowhere, sauntering past Omar to stand beside you.

He may have worn jeans for his own wedding but Billy had put in effort tonight, wearing a perfectly tailored maroon collared dress shirt and trousers. His hair was slicked back, his facial hair perfectly groomed. Everything about him screamed gorgeous.

“Omar, why you still holding my wife’s hand?” Billy demanded.

Immediately Omer eased his grip on you, pressing his palms together in an exaggerated show of apology. “Sorry brother, didn’t know she was yours. Just saw a beautiful woman, and I had to introduce myself.”

“I’m not his,” you emphasized. “I’m just married to him.”

Billy turned toward you. “So you do remember you’re married?”

“Kinda,” you smirked, centering your attention back on Omer. “Billy won’t introduce us, so I guess I’ll have to. I’m Y/N.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.” Omer winked, casting Billy a mischievous look.

Immediately you stiffened, taking in his expression. Maybe to everyone else the smile on Billy’s face was teasing but you sensed his agitation right away. Something was wrong. You could practically see him crawling out of his skin. And he was no longer looking at you, instead his focus was directed at another woman across the restaurant. You felt an unexpected wave of jealousy hit you. He appeared to be completely enthralled by the attractive brunette, he couldn’t stop staring. And the spark of envy you felt turned into something much more fierce. “Who is she? An ex-girlfriend?”

Omer raised his eyebrow. “Dinah’s here already? Thought she was coming tomorrow.” His gaze followed both yours and Billy’s. “Oh, Maria.”

“Yeah, Maria.” Billy’s voice was brittle, a stony expression on his face.

You didn’t know what the hell was going on but you absolutely hated the seething rage that flooded over you. It was crazy and made no sense. You ran into many of the women he slept with over the past few months, but they didn’t arouse such strong emotions in you. Probably because he never looked at them the way he was looking at this one. “Gonna introduce me or what?”

Finally Billy shifted his gaze from her to you. Eyebrow furrowed, he stared at you blankly. “Fine. Let’s go.”

It’s like you no longer existed, you were simply baggage he had to carry around. He walked ahead of you, only stopping when he finally reached the brunette. Next to her was another man who bore a striking resemblance to Omar. Based on that similarity, you deduced it was Curtis.

Curtis and Maria both looked up at Billy, flashing him a smile. You observed the trio quietly, noting the absence of intensity on Maria’s face. Whatever Billy felt for that woman, she didn’t reciprocate.

“Billy,” Maria greeted him with a smile.

“How are you, Maria? You look great.”

You noted how deliberately he masked his reaction with the woman. Carefree, jovial, he was all smiles while he hugged her – yet you saw through the ruse. It was all an act; he was more tense than before.

“And this must be the woman who finally nailed down Billy Russo.” Curtis wrapped his arms around you in a big bear hug, surprising you. Unlike his cousin Omer, there was nothing flirtatious in his smile as he greeted you warmly. “Never thought the day would come.”

You returned his smile. “Me neither.”

“Should we be offended we weren’t invited?” Curtis asked.

“Curtis, stop teasing her.” Maria sent her a friendly glance, seemingly oblivious to the way Billy was still watching her. “Congratulations, Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You offered a small smile, casting Billy a quick glance. Did no one else notice how on edge he was? His anxiety was through the roof yet Curtis and Maria appeared oblivious to it. It was ridiculous that the false smile on Billy’s face had actually fooled them.

“How did you and Billy meet?” Curtis asked, poking Billy in the chest. “He won’t give us any details.”

“Same old story. His grandfather came to the hospital, I operated on him, and while Billy helped him recuperate the two of us fell in love.” It was the story they had both agreed on and seemed to do the trick.

Maria shot Billy a quizzical glance. “I thought you didn’t get along with him.”

“I don’t.”

“But now they’re best buddies,” you piped up.

“Really?” Curtis asked, taken aback.

“She’s just pulling your leg,” Billy replied dryly. “She does that a lot.”

Curtis laughed. “I can see why he likes you.”

For the first time since you walked in the veil of tension lifted from Billy’s face. An amused smile marked his lips. “May need you to remind me, brother. Sometimes she gets a little too mouthy.”

“Yeah, but you like that,” you retorted.

Curtis chuckled while Maria simply smiled. There was a sadness to her you hadn’t noticed before, and you wondered what she was thinking of. A quick peek at Billy’s uneasy face revealed he noticed it too.

“Maria, can we talk for a minute?” Billy asked. He glanced at you. “In private?”

Th jealousy from earlier returned with a swift vengeance but you kept your face devoid of any emotion as you turned your attention back to Curtis. “Why don’t we get a drink while these two talk?”

“Sounds like a great idea.”

You walked away with Curtis, trying not to let Billy’s close exchange with Maria bother you.

***

Later that night you were dressed in silk camisole and shorts, braiding your hair, when there was a knock on the hotel room door. You glanced at the clock. It was past midnight. You walked to the door and opened it a crack to see who was on the other side. Billy stood there, hair ruffled, eyes red, the first couple of buttons on his maroon shirt undone.

“Let me in?” he asked.

There was hesitancy in his voice, like he recognized this was an imposition. You contemplated telling him to get lost but couldn’t ignore the wild desperation in his eyes. You swung the door wider, allowing him to swagger past you, watching silently as he strode over to the mini-fridge and pulled out a few small bottles of liquor. “You’re paying for that, Billy.”

“Paying for the whole trip, sweetheart.”

You shrugged your shoulders, and sauntered over to the bed. Sitting down with your back against the headboard, you stretched out your legs and studied him as he finished a bottle. “What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird the entire night.”

He turned around to meet your gaze, watching you for the longest time. Finally he approached you, taking a seat on the mattress, next to your feet. “No one else noticed.”

“They don’t know your bitchy moods like I do.”

“Guess I can’t hide shit from you.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “You’ve hidden plenty of things, Billy.”

He glanced down at your feet, making you feel self-conscious all of a sudden. “Your chubby toes are weird.”

“So are your demonic eyes,” you snapped.

This time a genuine smile curved his lips. “Weird but cute.”

His fingers pulled at your toes gently, and you started giggling at how ticklish his touch was. “Stop, Billy!” You smacked his hand lightly.

The smile on his face faded away, his eyes glued to your feet. He seemed to be caught in deep thought again, his mind somewhere else.

“The way you were looking at her, I thought Maria was an ex-girlfriend,” you said quietly.

Billy looked up to meet your eyes. “No, definitely not an ex.” Before he spoke again, he scooted forward, drawing closer to you. “She’s… was my best friend’s wife.”

“Curtis told me. Said you, him and Frank did multiple tours together.”

“He tell you Frank’s dead?”

You nodded your head. “What happened?”

“Frank and I got caught in enemy territory.”

Heavy silence followed, the air thick with tension.

“Held hostage for days.”

You didn’t know what to say, feeling queasy at the unimaginable horror he must have suffered. The cars and burn marks on his body flashed through your mind; you flinched instinctively.

“What?” he asked, meeting your eyes.

“Did they kill him?”

“Something like that.”

The darkness in his eyes made your heart ache. Whatever he lived through had been pure hell, but it was apparent from his lack of explanation he didn’t want to talk about it with you.  Unsure of what to do, you started braiding the wavy strands that had come undone back into a braid again when Billy’s hand clamped over yours.

“Don’t,” he commanded, his fingers curling around your hair. “I like it down.”

He stared at your hair as if he was spellbound, his eyes vacillating between your face and strands, leaving you completely unsettled. The air rushed out of your lungs when he moved closer, his breath humming against your skin as he began to pull apart the braid and run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t flirt with Omar tomorrow.”

The abrupt change in topic caught you by surprise. “I was being nice, not flirting.”

“That’s not what it looked like,” Billy murmured.  

Despite the softness in his voice, you could hear the warning behind his words and it pissed you off. “So what? Who cares?” you fired back.

His eyes locked with yours, the intensity in them so potent you felt trapped. “I care.”

“Why?” You regarded him closely. “Jealous?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, babe. I just don’t want my friends to think my wife is a cheater.”

His refusal to admit the truth irritated you, especially considering how he reacted around Omer. “That’s all it is?”

“Yeah.” Billy’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck, his eyes affixed on your lips. He tugged you towards him, his pull gentle. The invisible connection between you and him was palpable, making your heart race in your chest, electricity jolting through you. Everything was moving at lightning speed yet time had slowed down. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing did.

“So if I told you he walked me to my room tonight and gave me his number, it wouldn’t bother you?” you prodded.

The glint in his eyes hardened, his jaw clenched. “Of course it would. I don’t want him to start asking why we’re not staying in the same room.”

“So nothing to do with you being jealous?”

“Nothing at all,” he drawled.

The magnetic hold he had over you dissipated instantly. You grew up under the stigma of rejection, your own father choosing to abandon you than claim you. And here was Billy, doing the same. There was no way in hell you were going to settle for someone treating you like that. Using every bit of resolve you possessed, you pulled away. “I want you to leave.”

“And risk having Omar find out the truth about us? I don’t think so.”

“Fine. Stay here but keep your distance.”

“You’re the one who crawled into my bed.”

“And you’re the one who almost kissed me just now.”

A cocky smile covered his face. “Wishful thinking on your part, sweetheart?” Like the arrogant jackass that he was, he moved away from the bed and strolled over to the bar. Pouring himself another drink, he leaned back against the furniture to face you. “Any other fantasies you have in mind?”

“This is so fucking pathetic. You don’t even have the guts to own up to what you want. Instead you hide behind mixed signals so you don’t have to risk anything. You’re a fucking coward, Billy.”

His eyes turned cold as ice.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

aha,,, I had this really in-depth thing I wrote about how much I like your art,,, and the first half, maybe even first 2/3 got deleted,,, I was so excited writing it, I have no idea what it all even contained anymore,,,

So... the first paragraph after this here is rewritten from what I could remember writing the first time. I know it's not as in-depth as it originally was. Hopefully it still gets the depth of what I want to say across... The second paragraph is what DIDN'T get deleted. Aaaa

I only just recently found you and started following you, but I have to say, your art and comics and writing for the ASL brothers is just. So unbelievably good. You're up there in my favorites. Top three. Top two even. The way you write them is like watching a group of close friends interacting in real life, down to the silliness and shenanigans and inside jokes and abrupt changes in topic or mood in a conversation, including superficial changes (one that comes to mind is when Ace goes something like "I'll bet ONE MILLION DOLLARS" or some incredibly large number, really intensely suddenly, in response to Luffy's saying he'd be $20 or something, and then there's a beat, and then Luffy is like "$20 is fine :)" and Ace is just like "Alright :)". That kind of thing is something Ive had happen, something I've seen happen to others... but I've never seen it written/drawn so well.) Everything about their interactions is so incredibly natural, so full of life. Every time I read one of your comics I'm in constantly in awe and taking mental notes. Well. Okay, no, that's a lie. I WISH I were taking mental notes, but I get so caught up reading because it flows SO smoothly that I forget to.

And that's another thing!! How the way you do paneling and story beats in your comics makes reading while also visualizing movement and transitions so seamless. It's like, the visual-narrative equivalent of a hot knife through butter. I've read plenty of comics-- from novice to professional-- that have really clunky paneling and/or pacing. And similarly, I've read as many that let you read everything easily, but it's like, TOO easy, and there's no weight drawing your eyes to the actual art or keeping them there. And I've seen comics that are somewhere between these two, but still don't feel like they have a good flow. (All this as passive observation, I'm not one to actively look to critique something.) Anyway, what I'm saying is, the way you set up your comics-- the art, the paneling, the pacing, the speech bubbles, the shots, EVERYTHING-- makes them just. MM!! An absolute frickin delight to read. And it's combined with some of the best, most natural-feeling writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading. You balance everything so well. In this age of being desensitized to humor online, I must say, the silliness in parts of the Water Is Thicker Than Blood comic make me genuinely grin and even laugh to myself alone in my room. It feels so real, so genuine, so... I'm running out of words. I'm sorry. I just... REALLY love how you make stuff. I want you to know that I'm a big fan, and, even though I'm older than you I'm learning a lot, and your stuff is so well-done. I hope this isn't too strange, aha... if it is, I apologize. I got a little intense

Oh woweewowee!!!!!!

Thank you for enjoying how i depict them! I really enjoy drawing them as realistic as i can. I really want people to understand them how i do in my head, and im glad it comes off perfectly because i love these little gremlins! And it really is surprisingly easy to think up situations of them being little dumbasses together :) just put them in situations, think about the ways any normal person could possibly react to the information thats given, scrap all that, use the outlier, and bam! That’s a bonafide ASL dynamic right there!

Thats really nice of you to say how you like how i panel my comics because thats one of the things im a bit self conscious of, truthfully. My formatting isnt as neat or polished as other comics are, and i really dont care to change that, but its nice to know that there is still charm and interest in my style of comics.

I get what you mean with the being desensitized to humor online nowadays. Idk what about it but its kinda hard to get me to full on laugh at memes like i used to. But i really enjoy putting in gags that i think and I chuckle to myself about for a while after i thought of it. The “that doesnt taste anything like ass” gag got me chuckling for so long to myself while i was at work. Just like,,, the shock and awe that Sabo is in from having witnessed that is so funny to me, i dont think that gag will ever get old in my head.

That’s really cool that me just goofing around can be a learning opportunity to people :0 ive never even considered that could be the case

Not at all! Thanks so much for your thoughts and opinions! This is very heartwarming and im very happy i could produce something thats so meaningful to others :)

Thanks for the ask, too :D

[dunnodontask]

First Time pt. 1/?

Mike Schmidt x Ness the Waiter, securitywaiter, dreamtheory

Mike is emotionally stunted, its endearing and sad.

Somehow, this ended up not being smut. Just a buildup lol.

CW: none 👍

The transition from friendship with Ness to a romantic relationship with Ness was gradual and nearly imperceptible. Mike couldn’t pinpoint when everything changed.

When “Welcome back, sugar”’s became “Welcome back, sugar”’s with a kiss on the cheek.

When sleepy “good mornings” stopped occurring in the kitchen and instead switched to sleepy “good mornings” while curled together on Mike’s bed.

When opposite side of the couch movie nights became sharing a blanket movie nights, which became Mike’s hand on Ness’s thigh under the blanket just because he wanted his hand there movie nights.

They just sort of became that way, as time passed. Not that Mike minded. It was nice. That last one did scare him a little bit though. Not because he didn’t want it. He did, really. He wanted more, actually. But he didn’t really know how to broach the subject.

Mike was a virgin. He didn’t really have the time or emotional preparedness for relationships much of his life. He had a lot of baggage and it wasn’t a secret that most people found that to be a deterrent. And Mike was fine with that. Lonely, maybe, but fine.

But now he had Ness, who had somehow seen that baggage and decided to pursue Mike anyway. Why exactly, Mike wasn’t sure. But he certainly wasn’t going to question it.

So Mike wanted to take things further with Ness. Desperately. But he didn’t know how. Was he just supposed to ask? Or make a move? What kind of move? What did he even want? What was the next step?

Those were the kinds of questions swirling around inside Mike’s skull as he absent-mindedly rubbed circles on Ness’s thigh with his thumb that evening. It was late, nearly 11 pm, and some shitty late 90s horror film was playing on the tv. It served as little more than background noise to the conversations Mike was practicing in his head. Ness seemed interested in it though, so he didn’t have to worry about explaining his distracted silence to the other man. Not than Ness would likely mention it, if he noticed. He was pretty good at detecting when Mike’s social battery was nearly or completely empty and taking over a conversation so that he could just listen. It was one if the ways Ness just got him.

Ness shifted suddenly, drawing Mike’s attention towards him.

“This is so dumb, the plot doesn’t make any sense.” Ness murmured, reaching for the remote. “Do you mind it I turn it off?”

Mike nodded.

“I wasn’t paying attention to be honest.” He replied.

Ness hummed in response, as he powered down television. “You didn’t miss much.”

He replaced the remote on the table and sat back, leaning into Mike’s sturdy frame. “Everything okay, sugar? You’ve been quiet all night.”

Mike swallowed thickly, his cheeks turning pink as he searched for a good response. “Just thinkin about stuff I guess.” He managed, shrugging half-heartedly.

Ness hummed again. “Anything interesting?” He asked, tone light, almost teasing.

Mike’s brain stuttered as he tried to come up with something to say. He had the perfect opportunity, but he didn’t know how to use it. He felt his palms start to get clammy as his nerves got the better of him. Would Ness feel it through his pants? Mike considered pulling his hand away, but wondered if that would imply he didn’t want this to happen. IF anything was happening, which he wasn’t sure if it was.

He must have been quiet for too long, because Ness spoke up again, voice now concerned. “Mike? You alright?”

Ness placed a hand on his forearm, the touch light but excruciatingly tender. It made Mike want to scream, mostly at himself for stalling. Instead, he made a low, exasperated sound, that sounded a bit like a whine and a groan at the same time.

“I can’t- I don’t know how to do this.” Mike groaned, burying his head in his hands.

“Do what?” Ness asked, tone more concerned now. He searched for some kind of explanation to Mike’s statement. “Are you… breaking up with me? Or I don’t know- are you dying?”

“No!” Mike protested, than cringed at his own volume. He listened for movement in the next room, fearing he woke Abby. Hearing nothing, he sighed and continued. “No, nothing like that, I promise.”

Ness looked somewhat relieved, but still very confused. “Then what is it?”

Mike felt his face flush, and was thankful for the darkness of the room. “I- I want to move things forward… with us.” It was the best he was going to be able to do.

Silence. Mike felt his stomach cramp as his nerves took hold again. Did Ness understand what he meant? Was he upset? Did he-

“You mean like have sex?” Ness’s voice broke his train of thought.

“I- I mean yeah. But only if you want to!” Mike assured.

He felt a sudden smack to his shoulder, followed by Ness’s exasperated voice. “Mike! For the love of-“ Ness’s own laughter interrupted him. It wasn’t a cruel laugh, like Mike worried it would be. (But, when had Ness ever been cruel?) “I thought something was wrong! You had me worried for nothing!” He scolded.

Mike smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He apologized. “I just… I really like you, Ness. And I don’t want to ruin this.”

It was excruciatingly open, especially for Mike. He had spent a lifetime building these walls, tearing them down wasn’t easy. But he would do it, for Ness.

“Oh, Mike…”

Mike felt arms reach around his neck as Ness leaned forward to kiss him. It was chaste, lacking the heat Mike desired so badly, but had a sweetness to it that made his heart flutter.

“You aren’t going to ruin anything. No matter how hard you try, you’re stuck with me.” Ness teased, running long fingers through Mike’s hair. “And I do want to have sex with you.” He continued, lowering his volume slightly. “All you had to do was ask.”

Mike shrugged, a bit embarrassed in hindsight. “I know… I just. I’ve never… done anything like this before.”

Ness paused, fingers midway through another sweep across Mike’s scalp. “Wait- you’re a virgin?” He asked, leaning back to gauge the other man’s reaction.

Mike hesitated, than nodded slowly.

“Oh.” That was not what Ness expected at all. Though, it made sense. He wasn’t sure why he was surprised. “That’s okay!” He assured as the other mans face fell. “I was just curious, really, it’s not a big deal or anything.”

Mike shrugged, embarrassed. “I know, it’s just kinda lame. But I only have myself to blame, I guess.”

Ness frowned. “It’s not lame… lots of people are virgins. Like I said, it really isn’t that big of a deal. “Pluuuus…” He drew out the ‘uh’ sound as he tangled his fingers back in Mike’s dark locks again. “I can teach you.” A grin spread across his face as he spoke.

Mike felt his ears become warm as imagined what Ness had in mind. “Oh?” Was all he could manage.

Ness hummed in confirmation, before leaning forwards to kiss Mike again. There was more heat behind it than their earlier kiss. Mike’s heart thundered in his chest, and he wondered briefly if Ness could hear it. If he could, he didn’t mention it.

Continued in part 2

[rubykgrant]

Simmons would rather talk about ANYTHING ELSE besides his own gender/sexuality... but I have some thoughts~

(mostly connected to stuff that comes up in my big RVB story-line)

First of all, his parents are just sucky people. In general. They only wanted to have kids in the hope of impressing a relative, get some of that inheritance money... however, the baby was a little over-due, the relative passed away before the birth even happened, so no extra kid added to the will. Poor baby was a "disappointment" from the start.

By the time the kiddo turned 7, the question- "What if I was a boy?" had become- "Can I BE a boy?". Mr and Mrs Simmons had actually hoped for a son anyway, so they were "accepting" of this (but make no mistake, if this wasn't something they wanted for themselves, they would have been more UNPLEASANT). Because they already moved a couple of times and changed schools, Richard was able to start over where nobody knew who he was previously. A relief in some ways, however... mom and dad were very insistent that the "past" never be discussed. Again, it was encouraging to begin transitioning (first socially, then later medically), but Richard was taught not to acknowledge he was trans at ALL, which began a lot of internalized self-resentment from the get-go.

His dad was the one who would keep on "testing" him as he grew up, purposefully putting Richard into situations where he would have to prove himself, in the most backwards, nonsensical, and frankly- sexist ways; "A REAL MAN is better at sports than girls, so prove you can win against all the girls in your PE class!" and so-on. Obviously that's BS for SEVERAL reasons, and it just sets Richard up to have a weird ego-failure complex, and also think there is such a thing as "running girly laps".

Richard was always pretty scrawny, and during highschool, he had a growth-spurt that made him extra tall and lanky. More awkward, basically. He had a flat chest all on his own, but thanks to teasing from other kids, he was extremely nervous about EVER taking his shirt off. Thanks to the weird background-sexist-radiation from his dad, he thought it was just a given that he should be interested in girls... but he's a little afraid of girls (especially all the competitive jock girls who hate his guts for making them lose during team competitions). He almost tries to force himself into having crushes, but nothing ever clicks.

Once he's out of highschool, he gets surgery (no need for top, because- flat), and is hoping that he'll be able to start having A Real Life now... but he doesn't get into college, he can't get a job anywhere, he doesn't have any friends to live with, and his parents are threatening to just kick him out if he doesn't prove himself yet again. The last option is to join the Red Army, so that's where he goes... and then ALL THAT happens.

Simmons didn't exactly "come out" to anybody while in Blood Gulch, but after the whole surgery incident with Grif, Sarge knows about Simmons' medical history, and he doesn't call attention to it. In many ways, it is similar to what his own parents did (and partially why Simmons imprints on Sarge as a father figure). However, even through all the weird insults and ramblings, Sarge ironically gives Simmons more "attention" than his actual dad. It isn't always GOOD attention, but this is also the first time somebody has known this aspect of who Simmons is, and didn't treat him differently after the fact. So. That's almost kinda-sorta good? (it is still not great, because Sarge is an a-hole, but you take what you can get).

Simmons the proceeds to spend the next decade+ bickering with Grif, and not noticing MORE is going on, because they're both stupid (affectionate) (also FRUSTRATED). Simmons is still dealing with a lot of issues that are basically set in stone within his brain. When he starts to finally have genuine friendship feelings toward Grif, that alone is weird, because he barely likes anybody, and almost nobody ever likes him. When a whole CRUSH starts to happen, Simmons does not even get it. WTF is with all these weird gay thoughts in his head? Where'd that come from? For somebody who claims to be SMART, it takes him a while to do the math on this.

Eventually, waaaaay down the road, there would be some event, maybe around the younger generation on Chorus, where people are sharing things they've learned about gender/sexuality. A few of the Reds and Blues are kinda casually like- "Oh, I didn't know there was a word for that, I guess that's me!" or even- "I don't share this often but, yeah. I'm transgender," and- "I guess some of you already know, but I still want to say it. I'm gay"... and Simmons. He is just petty enough to FINALLY say- "I'm GAYER". It also takes him a full minute to remember, and add- "Oh, uh. I'm trans, too. More trans than you. I named myself Dick. I WIN"

He also works on un-packing internalized sexism and what-not, and when he reconnects with the girls on his team, he's much less nervous and better at treating them as individual people. He's aware of how much he used to suck, and it took a long time, but he's finally doing the whole "personal growth" thing. His parents still suck, but after the extended family of friends in his life have gone through changes as well, Simmons can see where he actually belongs

[beanghostprincess]

Modern au trans Ace has been consuming my mind lately so I thought I'll just share all of my headcanons or else I'll explode:

• Sabo was the first person he had come out to. It happened when they were around 9. Ace had always felt that something was "wrong" about him. That the way he acted, his interests and past times, and just how he would do things were "unnatural" or wierd". Once Ace became familiar with the conspet of transgenderism he just opened up to him, and was met with instant support.

• Immediately after this, Sabo gave Ace his (trademark) transgender haircut in the bathroom of Dadan's house. She actually entered it while they were there and upon seeing it she cried out of happyness. (Mothers know everything)

• Coming out to Garp was a bit harder for Ace since he wasn't sure how an older person would have reacted, I mean Garp just left there his grand"daughter" and came back to a grandson after all. But we all know that Garp would never discriminate, and plus now he has another grandson to train.

• Luffy arrived in his life after a full year after he had transitioned, so at first Ace wasn't sure how to exacly explain this to Luffy, but he did manage to open up to him after they officially became brothers. Luffy wasn't just an innocent kid, while he didn't fully understood concepts like transphobia, to him Ace is just his brother so if anyone is mean to him or calls him names he'll just kick their asses.

• Ace had been homeschooled for the 5 years that would have been him attending elementary school. Middle school was the first time he attended an actual school and at first he wasn't open or confident at all and was ready to just beat up anyone who tried to shit talk him.

• Surprisingly he made a few friends. They were mostly just Luffy's friends who were older than him or his friends's siblings, but he appreciated it anyway. His absolute best friend ever tho is Kuina. I hd her as non binary using she/they so its just trans supporting trans, and they also have like a million of other reasons to be friends but those were already pointed out.

• His top surgery was payed by none other than his father Newgate. The Whitebeards pirates would be just this one tatoo shop Ace works at that Newgate he opened after "retiring" from biker gangs and stuff.

• Obbligatory T4T Yamace, but we all already knew this, didn't we?

• Ace gets the best older trans guy advice from Franky. Because to me, he is just what every trans guy aspires to be, cool and hardboiled. And who wouldn't want to get advice from the dude who did his own top surgery in his father's mechanic shop at 15?

These are all from me, but feel free to add your own or elaborate on the ones you like.

Trans Ace is so real to me that I quite literally can't imagine him being cis. It's just so,,, Weird to me. And I absolutely love everything you said. I definitely think Sabo was the first one to know and the one who helped Ace the most with his transition, also telling Garp, who actually is way better (if you can say 'better' when something isn't even 'good' but yeah) at raising boys. At least he understands them better. So I think he wouldn't have a problem with it at all even if he's more on the "I don't really get it that much, kid, but as long as you're happy" type of vibe. I agree with everything,, When he was younger he really didn't interact with many people and usually preferred to be alone. Teachers considered him more of a problematic kid than anything, and always compared him to Sabo with the typical "how are you like this when your brother is just so polite and smart!?" but then Sabo always ends up fighting the teachers for saying that shit in front of the class and Sabo stops being so perfect in their eyes (also he starts rebelling himself a lot against the educational system lmao). And not to talk shit about Garp, but talking shit about Garp I'm sure Ace would get in trouble a lot and Garp wouldn't show up to the meetings with Ace's teachers. That only makes Ace feel lonelier and everyone thinks he's extremely troubled. When he's literally a sweetheart to both Sabo and Luffy,, When he meets Luffy's friends, he starts to open up to people. He still gets in a lot of trouble, honestly, but that's just him. I think his classmates find out about him being trans, of course, and not a lot of people are okay with that. He truly wants to fight them but he knows that if he keeps going like this he'll get expelled and he doesn't like the idea of leaving Sabo and Luffy alone ('doesn't like the idea' meaning he almost gets expelled and Sabo had to scold him and tell him that even though he has his own friends he doesn't know what he would do without him in school), so Luffy and Sabo are usually the one defending him a lot of the time since the teachers, even though they're chaotic, don't really hate them (because look at those cutie patooties how could you hate Luffy???? He gets along even with teachers). The Whitebeard pirates accept him with open arms and he finally feels he has a place to belong to. Newgate doesn't even offer to pay for the surgery, he just pays without telling him first because he knows Ace wouldn't have let him do it otherwise. He's so so grateful for them. And his brothers. And his friends. And everybody that has ever supported him. I think that he has lots of issues with depression and self-image and he often has a hard time when he acts impulsively, but Newgate always helps him. He grounds him. Gives him something to focus on. And Franky is soooo fun to be around. Newgate tells him to go see Franky and give him the money he owes him, and that's how they meet, basically. It's obvious he's trans because he goes shirtless all the time and scars are there and everything... And Ace just has to ask about his experience. Franky helps him gladly. And it's not only cathartic but also very comforting. He also meets Robin there!!!! Because married Frobin in this one. And I think Ace would absolutely love her because she keeps being oh so nice to him. She kind of reminds him of Makino, and it's extremely sweet. I think Ace now goes to help Franky from time to time when the Tattoo shop doesn't really need him there or, well, whenever he wants to because he also is extremely interested in bikes.

T4T Yamace my beloved.... Guys being guys. Dudes being dudes. I think they meet because Newgate tells Ace something about this man Kaido (leader of a gang) who owes him lots of money or something or did something very nasty to him yadda yadda Maybe they just have beef from when Newgate was into the gang stuff. And Ace keeps saying he should go and settle things with Kaido and beat him up for that, but Newgate is retired and he really, really doesn't give a single fuck about it. Lmao. Ace says he could take down Kaido himself. Newgate laughs. Ace is too proud. So he ends up looking for Kaido and fighting Yamato late at night in the street and,, Well. You know how it goes. They become daddy issues besties and turns out Yamato does not want to follow his dad's steps. Ace is curious about Yamato's experience because he doesn't seem to want to have surgery or anything, and they keep bonding over their pasts and family and Yamato ends up joining the friend group. And it's so cute. Newgate can see the kid is in love because every day he waits for Yamato to come pick him up to hang out. Or maybe he begs to get out earlier to go see Yamato. He keeps talking about Yamato,,, All the time. Even Sabo and Luffy are done with him. It's endearing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA This is just so good. Modern Au my absolute beloved.

[moonjxsung]

STAR!! I love your writings and I admire the way you can dedicate times to write good quality stories when having a stressful full-time job.

When you told that you were an advertisement major, I was like, no wonder you tell stories really well! Ads majors are usually really creative!

But, if you don't mind to share, how did you go from ad major to be a business analyst? Is it related to ads/marketing? Do you work in a creative/ads agency? Do you like to work with numbers? Hehe I'm sorry if I'm too nosy. I'm just curious why don't you do something related to story telling as a job cuz you really great at it.

Anyway, I'm happy for your promotion!

HELLO MY ANGEL I hope you’re doing so well!!!! This is such an interesting question I love it, not nosy at all so please don’t apologize! Here’s the gist of it 👼:

I actually firstly did an internship with this company in senior year of college that was a little more focused on product enhancement within our e-commerce space. Funny story- I was actually rejected from the internship when I first applied, so I sent an email to the hiring manager and demanded that they at least have a meeting with me so I could introduce myself and talk about why I felt I was a good fit for their company (this is why I always say cover letters will get you a lot further than you think!) and within the hour I was set up with a very casual meeting with their team. I gave an elevator pitch to them and it was a very brief conversation but I secured myself a series of interviews for the internship which put me up against THOUSANDS of other applicants and I was their final pick for the role! It was pretty rooted in a lot of advertising stuff, lots of suggestions to enhance products and ads and all that. I did that for the summer before my senior year and then I was offered an extension as a contractor by our director there for a few more months. From THERE I was offered a full-time role but I wasn’t very interested in the team I was going to be moved to, but my company did everything in their power to find me another team to be a part of. So I moved to a role that’s in our marketing division (a little further from just advertising or product work) and I was granted a senior title before even finishing college. So I guess I’ve just been on lots of different teams and ultimately advertising sort of transitioned into marketing! I love it a lot and I learn SO much from it, I truly feel very lucky to have been granted the opportunities I have. I would love to transition back to ad work or do something writing related down the line but I think I’m in a great starting point so I’m happy where I am for the time being!

Hope this helps a little bit, sorry this was such a long answer lol 🫶 sending you all my love angel I hope your weekend is going fantastic !! thank you for caring about my silly little life lol 💓💖💘💕🩷💞

[emililyqueer]

so... this is just kind of a personal emotional dump. i don't want to bring anyone down, you can ignore this if you just want to do the sexy stuff.

but it is an insight into me, so ya know. here it is. it turned out a lot longer than i wanted... to be honest it's sort of turned into my life story. um. sorry.

i spent so much of my life being ashamed and confused and depressed. i suppose, the thing is... i'm tired of watching other people live the life that i wanted to live.

i was brought up in a very conservative small town, in the middle of fkin nowhere. the place was extremely homogenous. no (visibly) gay or trans people, almost no people of colour. i had a single, disabled mother. my dad was very mentally ill, and he was abusive and violent with it, and even though he left when i was in single digits, he's left some very deep scars on me. i went to school under the time of the Section 28 law - which is to say, LGBT issues were banned in school, and bullying gay and trans kids was absolutely allowed to happen, or else the teachers could be seen as "taking a side" on a "controversial issue". this happened to me multiple times. i hated school. even though i started off in life with a passion of learning, going there broke my enthusiasm for literally decades.

i was queer, and i was in denial. i... sort of understood, i think?? but i realised very young that i couldn't rely on anyone, not my parents, not my teachers, not my peers. i grew up obsessed with the idea of self-reliance and some fucked up idea of personal strength. even after a university friend of mine came out, and i realised i might be trans, i still clung to these ideas, to masculinity and self-isolation. they had kept me "safe" and i felt i needed them. i abused drink and drugs because i felt empty and just wanted to fucking feel something, at least something other than anxiety and despair. it felt like parts of me were missing. most of the time, i felt either nothing, or fear, or stress, unless i was high.

i had health problems, i didn't have any energy or concentration (i later learned that i had ADD), i was depressed, and i had chronic migraines. i went to university to study a BSc in computer science, and i couldn't complete it due to these health problems.

and yeah, the health problems and depression became disabling... because of that i was constantly broke. this country, the tory party especially (but not only the tories), hates disabled people with a passion. i was into political activism at the time and the number of deaths of sick and disabled people coming out of the initial austerity era actually kind of broke my faith in society, i couldn't believe this was being allowed to happen.

as an aside - that was a choice. austerity was a choice, and it came with a body count in the tens of thousands (according to the British Medical Journal) before they just stopped fucking counting. this is a thing that actually happened in one of the richest countries on earth, and it happened as the richest people in that country only got richer and richer, and then we just... forgot, because disabled people don't fucking matter, do we? i'm sorry to get political in the middle of my own miserable ramble but these bastards need to burn in hell for what they did. fuck the tories

anyway.

because i abused my body, and i couldn't afford decent healthcare, or transition related stuff, i actually wrote off my appearance. i decided i would never be able to look good or feel good about myself. there was a brief time when i first got on HRT where i felt great about the future, but once i realised how badly i'd already hurt myself... i just gave up. for a lot of my life i was convinced that i wouldn't be here in the next few months or years, so why build a future?

my desires and sense of identity were just completely buried under a mountain of shame, self loathing, lack of direction, and substance abuse. i lost so, so many years.

so... how are things today? my living situation is crap. it's secure, but miserable. one tiny room, with mold in it which is aggravating my allergies. my financial situation is still bad, but it's not critical - i am struggling to afford some medications, but generally i'm afloat. i am, so far, just about able to maintain a small old car, which i rely on, because i live in the sticks and there's fck all public transport here. mentally, i still struggle, but it's so so much better than it was, and it is getting better. my physical health is... concerning me; i have a lot less energy than i'd like, and i'm in almost always in pain. in terms of drugs, i am mostly clean. i don't really drink, i don't smoke (neither tobacco nor anything else), but i do use prescription painkillers.

one of the bigger things is my gender and sexuality... confusing as hell, i'm in a superposition between trans woman and like... femboy, or sissy feminine man. i don't really understand it, parts of all these things appeal strongly to me on a deep, honest, fundamental level. i'm really not sure how to interpret this.

and, well, when i look at some certain sex workers and models... i feel equal parts inspired, and like i want to cry. i keep seeing people who lived the life i always wanted, and i see how fucking happy and successful they are, and i feel so many things all at once.

but... i am still here. i do still have time left. and i do know a few things about me for sure:

i am a reasonably intelligent person. i'm good with computers, electronics, and cars. i like music, travelling, and um i think i like cooking??? and of course video games. i mean duh, i'm a queer on the internet! :p

i'm determined, i don't want to lie down and die any more, i want things to get better for me, i want a future.

but i think... above all? it's the things i was ashamed of that i love the most. i love kink, i love femininity, i love showing off, i desire outrageous sexual experiences, and looking hot and changing the person i see in the mirror. i want to do porn, to revel in eroticism and queerness, and i want to take these things seriously.

so, that's what i'm going to do. that's why i'm posting this here alongside the fun kinky stuff. it's important, this is me.

[hummingbird-hunter]

Ough maybe I'll write like. A full post one day but I'm having a migraine and. Ough this is not going to be eloquent. Anyways

I think a lot of you tumblr trans people need to go outside. Like I don't mean in it a mean way; but for me personally I was a part of irl trans community before I was on tumblr or had any online trans community and honestly a lot of issues people are talking about here are. Not a thing irl?

Like some sort of fighting between transmascs and transfemmes? That's not a thing in real life. Maybe it is a thing in real life but only when almost every person in the community is chronically online or something.

For the longest time I didn't understand the concept of transmisandry and I've seen it a lot on this webbed site. I was even like. Cautious of it because I know several irl trans men who after they transitioned and started passing started being misogynistic to pass. Or just misogynistic. So at first I was like wait is it like the incely Men's Rights Activism trans edition?? And then I read more and apparently transmisandry is. People not believing that trans men experience misogyny??? People thinking that trans men have the same standing in society as cis men??? Which is like. Have you Ever been outside. I want to apologize to some of my mutuals for being critical when y'all were posting about transmisandry I never said anything outloud but I was judging you in my mind. But now that I know what transmisandry really is I'm like. In my defense that's not a thing in non-radfem non-chronically online spaces. At least the spaces I've been to?? Like I believe you that that is something that's real and that you've experienced. But also that just sounds so unbelievably chronically online and stupid to me. Like what do you mean people think trans men don't experience misogyny. Do people think misogynists can sniff out trans men before they transition and like. Not be sexist to them?? Anyways.

And like. A lot of other issues that I would've expanded upon if my head didn't hurt like a bitch. Like those are some twitter ass problems. Like people not being feminist anymore?? Because they think all feminists are terfs???? Which is like. I know in some countries terfs have like. Actual standing in society and government and like. Are an actual threat. But like. In most places if you go Outside. Feminism is good and needed and terfs have no friends. They only can go on twitter and tiktok and shit. Most irl feminist spaces are. You know. Actually feminist. At least from what I've seen?? When I'm Outside. Anyways. I think a lot of you and I say that with all the love in my heart need to go Outside

And like I know that sometimes transmisandry is also a problem Outside. Sometimes trans infighting is a problem Outside. Sometimes terfs are a problem Outside. And if you experience these problems Outside its valid and I hope things get better to Outside where you are.

But a lot of you have seen these problems online and never ever went Outside and I think you should try it because a lot ofbthe time Outside is not tumblr and normal not chronically online people are Normal about stuff so maybe you should talk to Normal people yeah yeah. Fuck I'm hungry but if I get up my head will Hurt again. Anyways go Outside and also send me Beams of Get Better. Bye.

[the-cult-of-riley]

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act One: Chapter Sixteen)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N: Some spoopy Halloween fun >:)

Also, I don't know if it's come up yet but I use the term 'tea' in this fic a lot in reference to a meal. Just for those unaware, in the UK, or Manchester at the very least, tea is basically what you call dinner.

I hope you guys are enjoying all the fluff and smut and shit because once Act Two hits... it's gonna get rough lmao

“No skeletons,” Simon murmured, a dark look passing across his face and Charlotte nodded, quickly putting the skeleton decoration back and choosing a pumpkin themed one instead. Halloween was in a few days and apparently she loved it. He hadn't seen the point in decorating, told her as much too given the fact that he got no trick or treaters in the apartment building. The sad pout she’d given him had been enough to make him melt, enough to make him agree to go Asda with her to get some fucking decorations. He drew the line where skulls were involved though. He wouldn't say he was terrified of them by any means but there was something there from his childhood and he didn't much feel like facing it right now. 

They’d been living together for a month now and he was honestly surprised by how easy the transition had been, although maybe he shouldn't since they had been spending so many nights together anyway. He’d expected some tension though, as it happens with people when they live in close quarters and some habits got revealed, but so far, it had been a dream living with her. 

After the disaster that had been the robbery of her flat, Simon had sworn to himself he would get even with that tosser Ethan and he made good on his promise. There was a lad at base, Firewall they called him ‘cause he was good with computers. Simon had saved him getting a leg blown off two years prior and Firewall had been adamant that he owed him one, so he decided to cash in on that debt. He’d asked him to look up the bastard, find out where he was living now and then he rounded up a few of his squad mates to come with him to pay him a visit. 

His main goal had been to get her book and tablet back and unfortunately for him, he failed on both fronts. That slimy little cunt had sold everything he’d stolen and Simon had been livid, so livid in fact that he beat him within an inch of his life and his squad mates were there to back him up, to scare the shit out of him enough that he wouldn't say a word. It had been cathartic to hurt him after what he’d done to Lottie, especially where her tablet and her book were concerned. Those were her most prized possessions and he’d taken them just to get back at her. 

Part of him had wanted to tell her what he’d done, almost wanted a pat on the head for being so chivalrous, but if he was honest, he wasn't sure how she’d feel about it. She wasn’t accustomed to violence like he was and he didn't want her looking at him like he was his father, so he opted to keep that little secret to himself. 

He’d wound up buying her a tablet after seeing how sad she was with no way to do her art. She’d tried to refuse it at first, as he figured she would, but after him spending over an hour convincing her, she finally relented. He’d actually been privy to her artwork since too and even though he knew she would have been good, he was a little speechless about just how good she was. She did paintings of pretty landscapes that somehow looked like proper paintings on a canvas and he wasn't really sure how it worked to look so real when it was digital. She was fucking good, that was for sure though. She also did portraits of random people and then she did some weird art. Monsters or cryptids or just weird things that he figured might have come from her dreams or nightmares. They were creepy as fuck but she definitely had a knack for it. He figured people would pay good money for stuff like this but whenever he told her that, she’d get flustered about it. He liked that she’d finally shared it with him though, enjoyed getting a peak into her mind and to see how she viewed everything. There was an almost romantic lens to everything she painted, whether that be Clayton Vale or Cafe Metro. 

Considering it had only been a month since she moved in, it felt like a lot had moved forward in such a short space of time. They spent regular time with his mum, Tommy and Beth now too, and Lottie and Beth had even gone out shopping for a girls day just a week before. It felt like everything was aligning in his life and he felt content, a feeling he still felt so unsure of even after the time he’d been feeling it with her. He pushed the cart as she put all sorts of shit inside of it and he couldn't help but watch with a wistful smile at how excited she was. He should have known she’d love the spooky holiday with her love for all things dark and macabre. 

“Charlotte… “ a warning edge laced his tone, eyes narrowed as she looked at him all wide eyed and innocent.

“Yeah?” she asked, toothy grin firmly in place.

“I saw what you put in the trolley,” he deadpanned but her grin never wavered, if anything it seemed to curl even more mischievously.

“No idea what you're talking about,” she shrugged, breezing off and grabbing more stuff. 

He licked his lower lip, eyes darting to the costumes she’d plonked in the cart. There was an adult female witch costume that by the length of it, he knew he’d enjoy on her, but then was the adult male vampire costume that he was pretty sure was for him. She’d fucked off to another aisle and he heaved a long suffering sigh before trudging after her like the good boyfriend he was. When they checked out, she hurriedly stuffed the costumes in the bag as if him seeing them better would be the straw that broke the camel's back. When he paid for it all, she gave him the dirtiest scowl he was sure he’d ever received in his life.

“Why are you paying for everything? You didn't even want to decorate,” she muttered, the pumpkin under her arm as he carried multiple bags. 

“‘Cause I wanna treat you. That a problem?” he asked, raising a brow at her. He loved buying her things, loved treating her and he longed for the day he could do it without her getting defensive or feeling guilty about it. She pouted but didn't say anything else as they got into the taxi and made it back to their place. 

When they got home, he decided to busy himself with cooking tea as she got to work decorating, putting little spooky garlands all over and little weird things in every nook and cranny she could. He realised though that decorating wasn't about other people or trick or treaters, it was just something she enjoyed herself. It was for her. And him seemingly but mostly her. It was nice seeing her do something nice for herself for a change, doing something because she enjoyed it. 

“What are you cooking?” she asked excitedly, the smell drawing her over. He knew damn well she already knew the answer to that, that she could decipher that smell in her fucking sleep.

“Bolognese,” he answered and her eyes lit up even more, a blinding grin overtaking her precious face. She moved over, slipping her hands up his top and making his muscles quiver under her gentle touch. He looked down at her fondly, watching as she smiled up at him all pretty.

“I was thinking… we should get into our costumes after food and then we could watch some scary movies,” she looked at him all hopeful, blue eyes glistening and imploring and he heaved a sigh.

“Lottie…” he frowned, not wanting to let her down but the idea of dressing up was a bit too much.

“Pleeeeease? You only need to do it for the scary movies and then you can take it off. If you do this for me, I’ll keep mine on afterwards and you can fuck me with it on,” she smirked, cocking a brow at him. 

He blinked at her for a moment, cursing himself for being so weak for her and her perfect body. He hadn't even seen her in the costume yet but he’d seen it enough to know it was short. Erring on the right amount of slutty that would get his blood going and he was more than interested in seeing her bouncing on his cock with it. 

“Fine… but you're gonna let me spank you with it on,” it wasn’t a request, it was a demand and his heated gaze had her cheeks flushing furiously with a shy smile. 

“Deal,” she grinned before she rushed off with a knife to carve the pumpkin. Wasn’t really a punishment for her really, was it? Not when she enjoyed it so much. 

His eyes kept drifting to her, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she carefully carved a cheeky grin on the pumpkin. She looked so proud of herself when she was done that his chest was hit with a punch of warmth. He watched as she put a lit candle inside, carefully moving it over to sit beside the TV. By the time he was setting out dinner on the table, the place was fully decorated and it didn't look as bad as he thought it might. She practically bounded over to the dining table before devouring her food like a woman starved and he felt a primal satisfaction running through him that she was enjoying something he cooked her. 

She got up when they were done, scooping up the dishes and taking them to the sink.

“I’ll do that, love,” he murmured as he stood from his seat and she shook her head as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

“It's fine. You cooked, I clean, remember?” she asked with a smile. It was a rule she’d been adamant on, more so when he’d been the one to cook for her. “Costume,” she reminded him, her smile turning into a smirk before she carried on with the dishes. 

He groaned, almost pouting as he grabbed the costume and made his way over to the bathroom. Black dress pants, a white button up shirt, a black waistcoat and a black cape that had red satin on the inside. God, he felt like a right knob when he looked in the mirror. It was the cape that was the worst, otherwise it just looked like he was off out somewhere fancy in some cheap clothes. He wanted to tear the cape off and throw it out the window of their fourth floor apartment but he didn’t because he was soft in the head and the heart for her. That and he really wanted to spank her perky arse cheeks in her dress. 

He wrinkled his nose, hand rubbing through his short blonde hair restlessly before he rolled his eyes and stormed out of the bathroom. Lottie was in front of the TV, flicking through the channels to find whatever she was looking for from the TV guide. His eyes swept over her, a deep, ravenous hunger consuming him like a wildfire. She’d gotten changed herself while he’d been in the bathroom and her costume left little to the imagination. 

It was black and tight around her tits and tiny waist before poofing out at her hips. There was some kind of underskirt thing that made it really poofy and it was dark purple, the only colour on the garment. The skirt was so short that her arse cheeks were peeking out slightly and he noticed then she had no underwear on, the little minx. He was almost positive she'd purposely bought a dress too small for her to drive him mad, and fuck was it working. And he had some movies to get through first. She turned as he walked into the room more, eyes lighting up like a thousand suns as her eyes swept over him.

“I look like a fuckin’ idiot,” he grumbled, feeling his cheeks turning pink as heat crept up his face. She beamed like a kid on Christmas, sauntering over to him and smoothing her hands up the waistcoat as she gave him a sinful look.

“Hmm… I think you look stupidly handsome,” she replied with a grin and he gave her an unimpressed look.

“You don't have to lie to me,” he huffed and she raised a brow, a playful smirk dancing on her lips.

“If I was lying, I wouldn't want to drop to my knees and worship every inch of your massive cock,” her dirty words were accompanied with a sweet and innocent smile, her long lashes fluttering at him like she didn't just get him rock hard in a matter of seconds. He reached out to grab her but she ducked away, her light laugh filling the apartment with a radiant warmth he would never tire of.

“Not yet. Movies first,” she tutted at him, flashing him a mock pout that made him decide she was getting five spanks instead of the usual three. 

He moved to sit on the couch, pulling at his pants a little to help the uncomfortable ache plaguing him. He couldn't focus on the movies she put on, some slasher flicks or something, it was really hard to fucking concentrate when she was pressed against his side like that and all he could smell was her scent. It was choking him, the feeling only growing worse as he remembered her lack of underwear. He shifted to put an arm around her over the back of the couch, his other settling heavy on her thigh, high up enough that it made her glance curiously at him, but unmoving at first. 

She looked back to the TV and he started rubbing small circles on her skin, getting a sick enjoyment out of the way she started squirming a little, like she was growing uncomfortable at the slick he knew was waiting for him between her thighs. He didn't creep any higher up on her thigh even if he wanted to, wanting to tease her, to tear her attention away from the movies because she was a tease and she was going to pay for it. 

It worked eventually. She finally had enough of his teasing, her face looking up at him in contemplation for a moment. The smile that spread across her face had him throbbing in his pants, the coy look she gave him before she moved to kneel up. He watched with rapt attention as she leaned up to him, lips brushing his. 

“How many?” she asked in a purr.

“What?” he asked, eyes focused on her lips that were so close to his it was maddening.

“Spanks,” she replied and his eyes snapped up to hers once more.

“Five,” he answered with a wicked smirk and her cheeks flushed as she bit her lip with a smile. She leaned over his lap, arse up and presented to him and he groaned at the sight he was gifted. Her dress was too short to cover her now in her new position and her bare arse was fully exposed to him, waiting for him. 

He smoothed a hand over her arse cheek, gripping at the plush flesh and kneading it for a moment as his other hand smoothed over her back over her dress affectionately. She was such a sight like this and he felt like he could cum just from looking at her. He reared his hand back, whacking it against her arse and watching it jiggle with the force as she gasped.

“One,” she breathed softly, pressing her face further into the couch beside him. She counted obediently with each smack he gave her, softly caressing her red skin between each one and carefully taking in her reactions for signs of discomfort. By the last one, she was squirming on top of him and he could see her thighs soaked as she rubbed them together. He hummed, the sound deep and low as he slid his hand down her arse, getting a thrill when her legs instantly parted for him.

“Such a good girl for me, love,” he murmured dazed as he teased her drenched cunt. He started rubbing slow circles around her clit, his breathing getting laboured as she moaned and rubbed herself against him like a needy bitch in heat. An idea struck him then, a dark smirk tugging at his lips as he withdrew his hand and she whined at the loss of contact. 

“Up and in the bedroom,” he ordered, tapping her already sore arse for good measure and she yelped, scrambling to get off him. She gave him a pitiful look and he chuckled, pushing her to the bedroom door and ushering her inside. He didn't say anything, making her stew in her neediness for a moment as he started tugging off his ridiculous outfit, feeling much better in nothing at all. 

He sauntered over to the chest of drawers, opening the third one down which belonged to her. He eyed her smugly, watching as her eyes widened, cheeks turning a bright shade of red. She knew damn well what he was looking for and she’d had no idea he knew it was there, as if he wouldn't notice it. Of course he had, noticed it the second she put her stuff away when she moved in and he’d been interested. 

He pulled out the toy, some kind of clit stimulation thing that was small and black. She looked ready to crawl into a hole and die and it amused him thoroughly. He wasn't the type of man to be threatened by his girl having toys, in fact he very much wanted to join in the fun with it. He pressed it on, watching the weird almost hole-like thing start to move. He pressed the tip of his finger against it and came to the realisation that it was sucking on him. He looked at her, raising a brow with his shit eating smirk and she laughed nervously. 

“You weren't supposed to know that was there,” she muttered sheepishly, rubbing her hands on her flushed cheeks as if it would cool them down. 

“Why not? Think I could have some fun with this,” he grinned and she blushed even harder. He was starting to think she might spontaneously combust if she blushed any harder. 

He watched her for a moment, more ideas coming to him as he looked at her in that tiny little dress she’d clearly only got to torture him. He raked his teeth over his lower lip, moving to his bedside cupboard and rummaging in the bottom drawer. He pulled out the handcuffs they’d bought only days prior that hadn't been used yet, not that he hadn't wanted to. He dangled them off his finger, looking at her in question and she grinned, blue eyes shining with excitement. He could have laughed when she moved to climb on the bed eagerly. Had she been waiting for him to suggest using them? 

“Look at you, so needy for me,” he smirked and she rolled her eyes playfully yet lifted her hands above her head to be closer to the headboard. He knelt next to her, cuffing one hand then threading the cuffs through one of the metal bars in the headboard and then cuffing the other. He made sure they weren't too tight and when he was happy, flashed her a dark grin as he moved to kneel between her parted thighs. 

She was watching him with her pupils blown wide, pure anticipation all over her face. He turned the toy back on, lowering it to her cunt and swiping it through the wetness there. He used his other hand to push at one of her thighs, spreading her as wide as he could and giving himself a beautiful eyeful. He pressed the toy to her clit and she moaned, head falling back against the pillow. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her as she kept arching at the toy, the current setting not quite enough for her and he pressed the plus button to turn it up. 

It seemed quite a big difference between the first setting and this one because she let out a strangled moan, her back bowing and the muscles in her tummy jumping. Her moans suddenly got needier, whinier and her eyes almost rolled back as her body could do little else but endure the pleasure he was inflicting on her. Her hands were balling into fists and relaxing repeatedly from where they were restrained above her head. 

“Simon,” her broken plea made him groan, enjoying making such a mess of her, enjoying making her so fucked out that she couldn’t even think right. It was like she couldn't decide if she wanted to be closer to the toy or further away, overstimulated and overwhelmed as her body pushed and pulled and he was completely mesmerised by her. 

He couldn't take the aching in his cock anymore and he kept the toy in place as he shuffled closer, fisting his cock and lining himself up with her. He pushed into her with ease at how soaked she was and she gasped in time with his desperate moan. He could feel her cunt pulsing around him rapidly, massaging his cock in such a delicious way that he didn't even need to move inside of her. It set him off right away like he was a fucking school boy, a deep and ragged moan ripping from his throat as he came inside of her. 

Any embarrassment he might have been feeling got washed away when she came blindingly hard around him at watching him cum. He moved the toy, turning it off as he panted, a blissful feeling wrapping him up like a warm blanket. It took a minute for his brain to work and he quickly pulled out of her, glancing at her hazy smile as she lay there like the cat that ate the canary. He moved to uncuff her, kissing each wrist sweetly as he did and making her sigh in content. He chucked the toy and the cuffs to the floor to deal with in the morning, collapsing beside her as his dark eyes darted over her pretty face.

“Alright, love?” he asked and she nodded, moving to sit up.

“Perfect,” she answered dreamily, flashing him a smile that warmed up every part of him. 

She tugged the dress off her and he watched, unable not to, as she struggled a little to get it over her breasts and they bounced once they were free. If he wasn't so knackered after blowing his load earlier than he wanted, he would have reached out and played with them a little. She moved to lay back down once free of her dress, turning to face him and snuggling right up to him so that there wasn't an inch of her not touching him. He wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, a smile on his face he didn't even know was there. 

It was odd for him to feel so at ease with physical contact with someone, it just felt right with her. They’d been together for a bit now, although six months of that he’d been away, yet it still baffled him every time he realised how much his life had changed because of her. At how much he wanted to be close to her, as close as humanly possible. He’d never craved touch before in his life, not after touch had equaled hurt in his childhood. Yet now, he wanted it if it was off her, fucking yearned for it when he was away from her, even for just an hour. 

He wanted to crack open his ribs and stuff her inside where his heart used to be. He was sure he didn't have one anymore ‘cause the pretty angel in front of him had stolen it. Ripped it right out of him and made it her own and he wouldn't have stopped her even if he had half the chance. Watching her lay there so content to just be next to him made him feel so many things, but the one that stood out the most was such a blinding love that he almost opened his mouth and ruined it all. 

He’d heard people talk about love, seen it in movies, heard it in songs, read about it in books, had to put up with Tommy when he met Beth, but nothing could have prepared him for how he felt for Charlotte. He could have never prepared for what real love actually felt like, what it felt like the moment he realised it. It was a moment, soft and profound, like the first light of dawn gently kissing the horizon. It was the ineffable sensation that stirred within him, an awakening of his heart to a melody he’d never heard before. It wasn’t just a fleeting ember, but an eternal flame that danced in his soul, painting the world in hues he'd never seen. It was the discovery of a sanctuary, where fears find solace, and dreams find wings and it was terrifying and thrilling all at once. His heart hadn’t belonged to him since the moment she sat beside him at that bus stop and maybe she hadn't stolen it at all. Maybe he’d willingly given it to her, his hands bloody after tearing it out of his own chest with his bare hands.

[flashfuture]

I haven't done a character analysis in a hot minute. But I want to do one now because I woke up really early this morning with the thought I should catch up on comics. And I regret reading the Robin comic for the early art alone. Anyways it brought to my attention Bernard and Tim and I have thoughts.

I was actively keeping up when Urban Legends was dropping and was like holy shit is this a date are we doing this?? And we were.

Bernard Dowd first came into the comics in the early 2000s in the Vol 2 Robin run. At a pinnacle point in Tim's life one of lots of upheaval and change. He was starting his junior year of high school. His dad was awake. He has a new step mother. And to top it all off he's about to get forcibly pulled off the after school club of Robinhood by Jack Drake. So Bernard existed in this limbo of Tim trying to find his identity without Robin and to figure out what it meant to be a regular highschooler.

Bernard was there during the a breakup of Tim and Steph not that he really knew the situation. He knew Jack and Dana. His connection to Tim was purely about Tim Drake. Bernard was also a funny character in a pure absurdist way. He decided Tim didn't fit into the stereotypes of high schooler highlighting and could roll with him highlighting how Tim doesn't have an 'identity' beyond being Robin. And then Bernard's silly conspiracy theories about the Batman and Robin situation were really showing how ridiculous a life Tim was living. And was the backdrop to say Tim finding out Steph replaced him as Robin.

Bernard was originally present for an identity crisis of Tim's and faded out of the story when that was done with. It makes a lot of sense why he would be the first boyfriend that Tim would have. During the arc about Tim discovering himself outside of Robin and rethinking who Robin is... Again. The first date I think also missed the opportunity to adjust canonically the ages and call them both 21 and have them drinking but whatever.

What I do think is that Bernard was an absurd character and should be presented that way. For example, introducing him as being in a cult is perfect absurdity. Trying to drag him into painfully boring being gay is hard but also good is scrapping off his character. There is a real legit history to be referenced and built upon. Bernard only showed up for six issues I really think it should not be hard for writers to reference that and give us something more correct.

Even down to the way Bernard dresses idk like he wore baggy clothes and graphic tees. He wore his hair long and sunglasses on his head. Then his parents put him in private school which he didn't like. So why the preppy stuff Now wouldn't it make more sense when he even in modern comics has major altercations with his parents to rebel in that visual way again? Maybe some piercings? That tattoo that was really a cult thing could have been a permanent reminder of why not to join cults.

Biology and physics to be a chef I have no idea what to say about that my cousin just went to culinary school... but with the whole chaos demon thing they could have had Bernard studying metamorphoses and that's why he was wanted. And then they could have people be like Tim is your boyfriend an evil scientist? But that's really neither here nor there just a random plot complaint.

Anyways the point is, I understand using a previously transitional character again as the subject of self discovery. I just think that he should be the same character is all

[crow-caller]

Hello! I hope you're doing well. I've enjoyed your book reviews on YouTube for the past six or so months (finished The Blessed/Precious Blood a couple hours ago), and they've gotten me a little curious. To my understanding, you do or at least did post book reviews on your blog, some or all of which you went on to turn into videos. As someone who wishes to try his hand at writing book reviews, I was wondering if you had any advice, insights, or sage wisdom into the craft based on your experience. I understand if you'd prefer not to answer, and my apologies if this is something you've already been asked.

Thank you very much for reading, and I hope life treats you well!

I've talked about it a bit before, but only briefly when drunk. It's very annoying on tumblr to search archives anyway. This was the breadth of my advice:

"When I first started, my strategy was a very solid one: divide and conquer. It can be hard to understand your thoughts on a book until you understand it in parts. I usually did it as : premise, plot, characters, writing, other details. Dividing into sections can help put words to feelings you may struggle with. Earlier reviews usually fell into this format, ish. Nowadays I usually put it mostly into a plot summary, discussing issues as they come u— I find this smoother. But really, making sections is incredibly helpful and can really assist in finding your “voice”."

I've been writing reviews for several years now. Like since 2016 actually, I did it first formally as an assignment for uni and was previously writing shorter reviews on goodreads because with my memory issues, I would find I totally forgot half the details of what I read a few months later. This was especially annoying for series!

Reading reviews is a first good step. You don't have to take notes- it's just helpful to read how other people review things, in general. You'll naturally notice stuff you wish they talked about more or where your opinions might differ- it's good to read reviews of stuff you have experience with and don't.

I'd definitely suggest reading say, a negative review of a movie you love and a positive review of a movie you hate. Or book, or whatever. See how the argument is made and where you think the reviewer is being an idiot. See where you wish they went into more detail or where they were caught up on something pointless. I think it can be way more helpful than just reading opinions you agree with!

But also do that. And try different formats and people- I used to read a LOT of AVclub reviews for tv shows and movies I never watched, and reading different styles of review helps.

Honestly, it might be good to even look at my early reviews versus recent and see how I've grown! Even though I normally don't really advocate my oldest stuff as it's just. not as good. But check out Relic and then The Commandment and you might notice some stuff in how I've improved.

It's not just studying though. The best method is really just getting started. When you read/watch/play/whatever something, review it. Start with a skeleton (Plot, characters, world) and get better at linking each subject fluidly. Finding an easy transition is hard but great practice for thinking about something as a whole. Reread your reviews, not just before posting but a few months after the fact.

A lot of my own style is based purely on what I'd most value in a review and I'd suggest you center your work on a similar concept. I wanted long, very detailed reviews that spoiled all the ridiculous twists of books I was never going to read. Not enough people provided that, so I did it myself.

Anyway hope it helps!

[mymainwastoocluttered]

hello!!! could i possibly request the reader coming out as a trans girl to idia? thank you in advance!

Hello! Hopefully, this is ok? I don't have much experience with trans characters

A Girl Worth Facing The Extroverted Normies and Their Incessant Babbling For (Idia)

NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!

— (⊙﹏⊙)

Idia is more observant than people give him credit for, but you can't be so good at tech and not be attentive to details

That said, he's not one for assuming, he hates when people assume stuff about him (which tends to happen a lot thanks to his struggles with communicating), so he gives others the same courtesy

But he can tell there's something going on with the Ramshackle Housewarden

He won't pry, though, don't worry. None of his business, anyway

He will, however, intervene when he feels he needs to. Or, well... He'll get Ortho to intervene. Kinda hard to intervene when you're a tablet. And have crippling anxiety

Eventually, you start going to him when everything gets too much, and you can bet that under all that anxiety, he is very proud that you chose him as your comfort character

He even opens the door of his room for you. He doesn't need a player two, but he will take a cheerleader of that brings back your smile

So it shouldn't be surprising when he is the person you first come out to (besides Grim, of course)

But to him it is. The level of trust it must've take for you to come to him and tell him you identify as a girl... Sorry, Idia needs a few minutes to process the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings in his head

That doesn't change anything in your relationship! Idia is very adamant about that. You're you, and he fell for you, not your gender, and–

Oh, fuck. He shouldn't have said that

He's gonna need a few more minutes to reboot after he accidentally blurts out his feelings. Or a few hours

Don't worry, he'll come back once he processes that you feel the same and now he has a pretty girlfriend

Idia is very supportive. He spends an entire weekend reading everything he can about transgender people, transitioning, and the likes, just to make sure he is equipped with the necessary to make this smooth for you

He personally gives Ortho the best bits of information so his brother can help

Protective Idia? Protective Idia. You're his girlfriend, that places you in the same bubble as Ortho, and Idia would die for Ortho. He would kill for Ortho. And now he's ready to do the same for you. Either way, what bliss.

You want to keep it a secret? He's all for it, and poor soul that tries to out you against your will. You want to come out to others? He's also all for it, and depending on who it is, he might even go with you personally (you two are squeezing each other's hands trying to calm the other while having to calm yourselves. Some people—Cater—are happy to coo at that).

He has never been more social as he makes a chatroom with your closest friends (who know your secret if it's a secret) to make sure you are doing well and not being mistreated

Do you want to have any procedure done? Idia will gladly sponsor it. In fact, please let him do it! He has a lotta of money and nowhere to put it other than games and merch, so he'll feel really happy to spoil you

That goes for stuff too! Clothes, accessories, make up, trinkets, stuff for the dorm, he's your guy!

If you really want to repay him, you can always k–k–kiss him... Please...?

Ortho is so happy for you two that next time he flies, he might end in space

— (⊙﹏⊙)

Idia grumbles as he makes his way through the campus. Honestly, a cloudy day like this is just perfect for staying inside with a blanket and playing some stupid beat'em up, why would anyone want to do a practical class?

Crewel, that's who. That guy needs a girlfriend.

Few months ago, Idia would laugh if anyone told him he'd be thinking like this, but few months into his relationship, he can finally say that he Gets It™. Having a girlfriend really made his life better and his school days more bearable.

Ah, now he really wants to see (Y/N). Maybe convince her to skip class and go spend time with him in his room, cuddled under the blankets while they play some stupid beat'em up.

"I'm really sorry, but I need to go."

Idia perks up when he hears the voice of the girl he's been thinking about, only to cringe when he sees her surrounded by people. Loud, extroverted people that smile a bit too big and talk a bit too excitedly. His mood only sours when he sees the tension accumulating on her shoulders and the panic growing in her eyes.

Oh, Hades, no.

"Hey," is the only thing that comes to mind as he approaches, really. It is still Idia we're talking about, still an awkward bean.

Thankfully, what he lacks in words, he makes up for looks. He is tall, his hair is literally made of hellfire and he has very pointy teeth. And extensive knowledge of how Leona Kingscholar threatens people thanks to the cameras scattered around the school, so he tries his best to snarl like the lion, straightening his back and glaring for good measure.

Thank Seven it works and the normies blurt out some lame excuses and scamper off. As soon as they're out of sight, Idia deflates, hunching even more than he usually does. Oh, Seven. He's getting dizzy.

"Idia!" His head clears almost instantly when she throws her arms around him and rests her chin on his chest, beaming at him and making his heart go doki-doki. "You're the bestest! Thank you, babe!"

Oh, Seven. He's getting dizzy again.

_

Bonus

"So you're a girl? Can I call you Big Sister, then?!"

"Of course you can, Ortho, you cutie little— ugh, c'mere, you're getting all the kisses!"