#anyway all blazed posts are really weird

[chrystal-ink]

Shadow X Fem reader

Your past , My present, Our future Part 2 (Final)

(Part 1) (epilogue)

Description: after meeting your future child your mind is reeling, little do you know that there is another one watching from the shadows, and she isn’t alone.

Warnings: none cute Dadow fluff ahead

Note: so I know this story is going to leave a lot of questions to be answered don’t worry they will be in due time however I don’t mind answering them now so let me know, I will be posting the epilogue later this week hopefully which may or may not clear some things up.

The ebony hedgehog stood atop the tower her amber eyes scanning the area below.

She watched as her father spoke to her namesake below. something twisted in her heart, a feeling she couldn't quite place, not pain but not quite pride either. she watched as she spoke holding a surprising level of dignity and grace for her age. no wonder her father spoke so highly about her.

"OH MY GOSH!" a voice that unmistakably belonged to her mother called out distracting her from her thoughts.

a soft giggle escaped her lips even displaced in time she still found a way to bring her back to earth. "Thanks mom" she whispered.

"Maria! I need your help." a familiar voice behind her spoke making her jump.

"Gah! Silver what the hell, warn me! I could have attacked you just now!"

"Sorry, I'm just busy right now trying to keep time anomalies from happening"

"Yah I can see that." her eyes darting to her little now littler sister in Silver's hands,

"Hey! You look just like my sister RiRi" Nova said her voice full of excitement.

Maria smiled at the nickname her sister lovingly gave her, only she was allowed to call her that. "Yah, I get that a lot."

Her gaze returned to Silver "So How does it feel to be the older twin now?" She teased

"Please don't make this weird." Silver groaned

"I'm sorry, make this weird? Silver, You're holding your twin sister at age four in a timeless white void well before either of our conception. meanwhile you live in the past part-time, are on a first name basis with both our parent's, and you're dating a cat from another dimension, name one normal thing about any of this?"

"Hey! me and Blaze are just friends."

"That's not what she said." Maria pointed to Nova who was growing antsier by the second.

"What does she know anyway?"

"It's literally her jo-"

"Hey! Put me down!" Nova demanded waving her arms and kicking at the ivory hedgehog.

"Sorry Nova." Silver put her down on the floor between them.

"Now, what's this about you needing my help?"

"I need you to watch her for me, just until Sonic defeats the time eater and then we'll all go home."

"babysitting, really? How come you get all the cool missions?"

"Because, I'm not recognizable in the past , and you are."

"Yah, and how much longer do you have that excuse?"

"That doesn't matter right now. neither of you can be seen, unless you want to throw off the timeline"

Maria sighed her arguments once again being defeated. "What do you need to do anyway? get your butt kicked by Dad again?"

"No, by Sonic this time."

"Fine" she huffed "But you're doing my dishes for a week."

"What! seriously the future hangs in the balance right now and you're trying to wager chores."

"Hey, some people would ask for more, I personally think it's a generous offer."

"Maria stop pulling your brother’s leg, I'll watch her" the familiar voice of their father interrupted their spat.

"Papa!" Nova cried out excitedly running into his arms.

Shadow laughed as he picked the little hedgehog up and spun her around "Hello little one you've had quite the adveture today haven't you?"

the little girl beamed "just like you papa?"

"you could say that."

"can I come with you to work now!"

He smiled at her "I'll talk about it with your mother.” Shadow turned to his two other children “are you two alright?”

“Yah, I’ve been hiding here mostly, just watching” Maria responded

“I’m okay mostly busy trying to keep the timeline safe”

“Good, keep it up do you need any help”

“I’ve got it mostly covered so far you are the only ones from the future that could threaten the timeline well you guys and mom but she should be with past you right now”

“She’s not she went behind that wall over there after you left.” Maria corrected

Shadow nodded “Okay I’ll go check on her”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea with her? Nova's not exactly one for keeping secrets, especially as a child.”

"That's true I caught her just before she spilled the beans about Maria"

"Hey I didn't spill anything!"

"No, Nova it's an expression" Silver sounded exasperated.

"A what?"

Silver sighed "Never mind"

"She'll be fine, with all the running around she's been doing I'm sure she's due for a nap"

"But I'm not tired"

"Oh, you're not?" Shadow replied.

"Nope" the little hedgehog yawned betraying her own words

"Okay, well then sit still while I talk to these two okay little one."

She nodded in agreement laying her head on her father's chest

"Papa?"

"Yes dear?"

"How come mama's quills aren't white?"

The air grew thick as the three looked at each other unsure of what to say. at her age it was never explained, she couldn't have possibly understood. what those scientists did to you, and why. No, that was a story for another day.

It was so long before her birth she hadn't known her mother any other way. even for Silver it was strange to see you before it happened despite that being his only safety for not being discovered yet.

"She's trying something new today, don't you like it?" Shadow finally answered.

"I think mama looks pretty"

"Yah, she always looks pretty."

Nova smiled at him before closing her eyes beginning to nod off.

"Silver keep doing whatever you need to do to keep the timeline in check okay?”

“Yes sir”

“Do you need a boost? Before you go?” Maria asked.

“I should be okay for now maybe after I fight Sonic”

“Okay, you know where I am” Maria gave her brother a hug

“Stay safe son” Shadow hugged Silver making sure not to disturb the little one who was being to lightly snore

“Thanks Dad” and with that silver took off heading off into the void.

Maria and Shadow were silent for a moment watching as Silver disappeared from sight.

“Hey Dad.”

“Yah”

“Just how far in the future are you from?” Maria couldn’t help glancing at the young girl from the past.

“Far enough to know what you want to ask.” Shadow placed his hand on his daughter’s shoulder “You’ll find your own way I promise.”

“Well that’s awfully cryptic.”

“You know how important the timeline is, knowing what happens could put your future at risk”

“I know, it’s just, why can’t I fight yet? I know everything there is to know, and there’s so much good I want to do why won’t you let me? I mean silver is out there fighting with you and he’s four years younger than me why can’t I?

“I’m sorry Maria but that conversation can only happen when you’re ready, and I’m afraid you’re not there yet.”

“When will I be then?”

“Soon, I promise.”

She huffed unsatisfied with the answer but understanding that she couldn’t pry for more. “You probably have to go check on mom now don’t you?”

“She can wait a few more minutes if you need.”

“Nah she seemed pretty freaked, it was kinda funny not gonna lie”

Shadow smiled at his young daughter admiring how much she was like you.

“Alright stay hidden and please, try not to create any explosions”

“Dad, please, look who you’re talking to”

Shadow sighed “just keep the damage to a minimum”

“You got it” Maria smiled before giving her dad a hug. “Love you”

“You too kiddo”

And just as quickly as he appeared her father vanished into the white void taking her sister with him. Maria returned to her place watching the action happening once again.

“Oh man, Pepper is never going to believe this”

❤️

You leaned against the wall your mind going a million miles a second with no stop in sight.

You were beginning to feel nauseous at the concoction of emotions swirling through you.

You were mortified at the scene that just took place scolding yourself for running into a situation before properly assessing it, at the same time you were still coming down from the sadness of your boyfriend not knowing your identity, not to mention the child you were apparently going to have showing up.

You had nothing against children, in fact you wanted children of your own someday, but you and Shadow hadn't even talked about it yet. the panic of her arrival had come with the side affect of an overwhelming wave of affection. after all your future with Shadow had all been conformed.

You loved him and wanted this future with him, but it was all happening so fast you couldn't catch your breath, literally you were beginning to hyperventilate.

You needed to calm down so you closed your eyes sat down and focused on your breathing unaware that you were being watched

❤️

As Shadow approached you he couldn’t help but think about the early stages of your relationship. He remembered the way you looked at him, the ways you broke down his walls like no one else could, the ways you would comfort him as he woke from a nightmare.

He looked at you and felt a comfort in knowing not much had changed in all these years however, he was reminded just how much other things changed as well.

Right now you were untouched, not knowing what the future would bring, you looked younger, of course you did this was before.

Four years and three months before to be exact.

If perfection could be achieved it no doubt would look like you. Seeing you like this once again made him smile. still, guilt lingered in the back of his mind.

Images of the past flashed through his mind. The worst year of his life, six months of searching only to find you too late, and six more months trying to undo the damage. Your quills were supposed to turn white with age now they would never change at all.

You claimed you didn’t mind that the outcome was a “best case scenario”. Still he knew that you had something taken from you. Something that he had wanted for you, something he knew you could never get back not for a long time at least.

You were still perfect of course, just in a different way. Despite the challenges you pulled through healing in ways he never thought possible. You moved past it, you remained in love with him and gave him children he owed you the world and more.

Little Nova cooed in his arms yet another reminder of why you were just so remarkabl

Shadow stood next to you as you sat on the floor working through your breathing technique, not wanting to startle you he spoke gently.

“Hey”

You looked up at the familiar voice it was defiantly Shadow, but he seemed more familiar with you. he hadn't aged, of course he didn't but he had an air about him that seemed more mature like he's learned more from the word than the last you saw him, and on top of that he was holding the little hoglet Silver had whisked away moments ago.

"umm hey, so sorry but I'm really confused right now a lot is happening and I'm not entirely sure what."

"It's okay Y/N I understand"

"Okay so before I start I just want to make sure, You know me right?"

Shadow smiled at you "Yes my love"

You heaved a sigh of relief "Okay good, so first off how are you dear"

"I'm doing fine, I'm here to check on you"

"Okay good, Second wow I'm just- I don't really know what to say right now. It's just a lot. I mean we have a kid? That's - wow."

"Are you disappointed?"

"What? Of course not! it's just, I don't know, Kids have always been this possibility to me, you know, they're just hypothetical things. I mean we haven't really talked about it, I don't know you're opinions on them are so there was a chance I wouldn't have them, but now, it's real and obviously you know we have one.”

“I was little worried at first, having something so small, but I also knew I wanted a family especially one with you.”

“Am I any good at it, the whole parenting thing?”

“You’re the best at it”

The tension you in your shoulder released as you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You looked up at Shadow a warm feeling spread through your heart seeing how he gently held your sleeping child in his arms.

“Should we be talking while she’s asleep”

“Oh, She’s fine she sleeps through anything. One time you were making dinner during her nap and all the pots and pans crashed out of the cabinets she didn’t even move”

“Oh that’s good”

“Yah, she’ll give you a run for your money when she’s awake though”

You giggled “you know, that’s a good look on you, you look happy.”

“I am” the two of you smiled at one another “do you want to hold her?”

“Is that allowed? I mean would that mess up the timeline at all? I don’t want Silver to be mad or anything.”

Shadow held back a snicker, you had no idea “don’t worry about Silver trust me, he won’t bother you”

“Oh, okay then.”

Shadow gently placed the little girl in your arms your heart swelling as she curled up against your chest a she called out a tiny “mama?” Instinctively you rubbed her back lulling her back to sleep surprising yourself in the process.

Getting a closer look at her you wondered how you didn’t immediately clock her as yours the two of you shared many features but the ones you found your favorite were the ones Shadow gave her. Her grey markings, the way her quills curled up she even snored like him.

“She’s so cute, how do I function?”

“Trust me you take a lot of pictures.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

Shadow sat down next to you. As you turned to smile at him he noticed, after all these years you still smiled at him the same way you. All the trauma all the changes those people forced you through they couldn’t change the simple fact that you loved him, no matter what happened or how much time had passed you would always love him.

The two of you talked behind the wall passing the time as you waited for the action to be over.

“Shouldn’t you be helping yourself with your dad?” You asked at one point

“Trust me, this is much more important”

After a couple hours you noticed something, Nova’s foot was slowly becoming transparent panic flooded through you as you tried to stop it realizing you were beginning to disappear too.

“Don’t worry, this is just how you go home you’ll be okay I promise.”

“Okay and how about her?”

“She’ll wake up in the same place she disappeared she’ll be safe”

You nodded “any advice for the future?”

He took your face in his hands taking memorizing your features one last time. “ Just remember that I’ll always love you no matter what”

“I love you too”

Shadow leaned in and kissed you this wasn’t his last kiss with you, not by a mile but it still felt like a goodbye. You were taken so suddenly and by the time he saw you again the damage had been done. He knew he couldn’t warn you about it, but he could use this kiss as an apology, as reassurance that everything would turn out okay.

As you faded from his view he smiled, knowing that despite what happened the two of you had a bright future ahead.

❤️

You woke up in a lush green field your picnic basket neatly laid next to you, the path ahead clear. Checking the time on your phone you noticed that no time had passed since you entered the void, even so you were still late for your picnic date.

Grabbing your basket you rushed off to your usual meeting place knowing you had one hell of an excuse.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

“That’s alright, I’m still setting up.”

“The blanket? Love, all you have to do is lay it on the floor.”

“I know I was just making sure I had a good vantage point in case anything comes to attack us.”

“Aw love, I appreciate your vigilance but I sincerely doubt someone is going to attack us in a wide open field in the middle of the day.”

“You never know when someone is going to strike I just want to be prepared.”

You kissed him between his ears handing him his sandwich “never change darling”

You sat beside him taking your lunch out as well.

“So Nova’s pretty cute isn’t she”

Shadow froze looking at you in shock.

“When did you-”

“Just now. So you knew this whole time?!”

“Yes”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Please, like you would have believed me.”

“I might have”

Shadow gave you one of his looks that showed complete doubt.

“Oh you” you jumped on him pushing him to the ground your lips colliding as Shadow wrapped his hand around your waist. You giggled against his lips continuing as the two of you parted continuing your picnic on the beautiful spring afternoon steps away from your first meeting.

❤️

Three years prior

Shadow sat beneath the tree watching the festivities below. He had no idea why he let Rouge convince him to come. They were all the same full of people making pointless small talk about nothing.

Sure there were people he tolerated but they were always busy talking to the ones he couldn’t stand.

Shadow skulked checking the time waiting for the hour mark when Rouge said it was an acceptable time to leave. Only five minutes left and they couldn’t come soon enough.

“Excuse me, is it alright if I sit here?” A sweet voice called out.

Looking up he saw a familiar figure, he tried looking for you after the time eater incident to no avail, years passed and he didn’t have the time to search, the world needed saving and he was the only competent enough to do it properly.

“I suppose” he responded

“Thank you, don’t get me wrong I love parties but they get way too loud.”

Shadow scoffed “Yah that’s Sonic for you, always has to throw the biggest parties.”

You giggled “Yah, he’s sweet and all but he definitely needs to come with a warning sign.”

Shadow found himself laughing at your comment.

“How come I’ve never seen you before?”

“I just moved here Amy invited me, quite a colorful cast of characters around here.”

“Yah, almost too colorful”

You giggled at his comment bringing a warmth to his face he was unfamiliar with.

“I’m Y/N, and you are?”

“Shadow, Shadow the Hedgehog.”

“Nice to meet you Shadow”

[weirdmarioenemies]

SURPRISE! Did you think the day would come when we would cover Love Live on this blog? I didn't!

Yohane the Parhelion: Blaze in the Deepblue is the Metroidvania-style game based on the fantasy spin-off of Love Live Sunshine, but you probably don't care about that! Statistically speaking, our target audience is Bogleech readers who are deeply revolted by anime girls!

So why bring up? Why bring it up? The answer is 🐠 FUNNY FISH! It's Funny Fish Friday!

Since this game is set in an underwater temple, the enemies this game are all based on sea creatures, and that's cool! Again, statistically speaking, you probably think sea creatures are cool. I really liked seeing the variety of enemies when playing through this game, so I thought it'd be fun if I could share them with an audience of people who otherwise wouldn't care! None of the enemies really have names, as far as I'm aware of. But I'll do my Rubesty...?

Our first guy we encounter in the game is the sort of guy who emerges from the ground like the Zombies from Castlevania, and wow! A good first impression I think. It is sort of a squid mantle, if the mantle was also a cloak for a spooky sort of wizard! The way it doesn't really have a 'face' in the hood and the eye is below really makes it seem like a weird mimic creature. Cool!

They also get a tough lategame variant which looks like a mix between a flapjack and a vampire squid. You don't often see flapjacks be designed as scary!

---

Next is Barnacles! A whole clump of them, like a cake. They shoot Energy Balls at you. Is this what Barnacles can do if they combine their powers...? The top actually opens up, and it looks a lot like a sea urchin's mouth! So maybe it is some sort of naked urchin creature covered in barnacles? Game Theory!

There are also barnacles with Ice Powers. Like real life!

---

Let's give it up for Garden Eel!!!!

What a fine Garden Eel it is! Complete with the sort of grumpy face, and with the addition of two little arms that make it look like it's praying or maybe a bit shy. But it is mean! It also spits energy balls at you, then hides in the hole so you can't hit it. How very sneaky!

SO sneaky, in fact, that these eels have mastered the art of ninjutsu! The ninja eel shows up for a split second in one single room, before smoke bombing away. You'd have to use a time freeze power to get him, but I never got around to doing that. I don't have any beef with a ninja eel! I respect him and his training!

Did someone say CTENOPHORE? I hope you did, or my hearing has really gotten worse. This thing is a grade A ctenophore, only with a ring of Scary Teeth! A little scary to think of a ctenophore who could Bite you, but nonetheless this deserves a :ctenopog:!

---

Let's not forget Fish Vortex! Fish Vortex was the first guy to make me go 'wow, this game's enemies really are awesome!' So of course I had to put him at the top of the post! He is my selling point! I am selling all these enemies to you. For 4.99 a pop!

Anyway. This design is just so funny and cool at the same time. A swirling school of fish that leads into an endless dark abyss, and in the middle, a big eyeball. Also covered in fish. It shoots fish at you! Yay!

There is also a pink variant - it shoots fish that give you the Solitude status effect, which basically just makes Yohane too depressed to summon her friends. Meaning? They are Depression Fish! Maybe she just becomes so jealous of the unity and teamwork of these sardines. She's me like just for real! ^_^

---

isopot :)

---

This slug is an umbrella. That is ridiculous! Ridiculously EPIC! It does the opposite of shield you from rain, which is create rain, that kills you. But I would still want one as an umbrella.

---

When I first saw this thing, I thought it was some strange round Echimoderm I had never heard of. But upon further inspection (I actually asked Mod Chikako shh), it is obviously like a Brittle Star, with each arm folded round to form a wheel! How creative and fun! It even has a bunch of eyes like a starfish!

---

Last but not least- sushi! There are sushi guys and they are cute. They don't really do much and are typically found in their own rooms, so I'm not sure what the point of them is. But finding a funny walking sushi should be a reward in of itself, I guess! Look at their funny rice feet! Or the one with the roe eyes!

I happened to use fire magic on one of them and this happened. Oopsies...

Now I am sure you are saying, thank you for showing me all these funny enemies. But are there any cool bosses? Of course there are, me! What's a Metroidvania without cool bosses? So I shall show you my favorites without delay!

First is this freak (affectionate)! It is a sort of amalgamation of lots of different animals and I think it just looks plain cool! Two squid mantles combined into one, a bit of a sea angel shape, bug legs and of course a great big eyeball!

If it is not freaky enough for you, let it be known that the bug legs turn into big green skeleton hands, and it also keeps getting pinker, and it grows new eyes and then extra horns grow out of those eyes. If THAT is not freaky enough for you then I am sorry but I cannot do anything about that.

---

Now, how about a sampling of this Freaken Thang? It honestly doesn't seem that sea-creature themed, but it uses seashells so I guess it counts!

What is really neat is that this boss has two different forms, upside down and rightside up! When it is upside down it looks a bit like a Magolor type creature. And of course, I really like the flame thing in the middle as well, that really feels like a Kirby enemy or something! Like a wisp made of plasma!

---

Fans of Anomalocaris won't be disappointed by this one! It's a big Anomalocaris tank and boy is it cool! There's something for everyone here, whether you're an Anomalocaris purist or you've always wanted to see it turn into a sort of futuristic beast with a screen mouth that shoots lasers! It really is the future, zura...

---

After covering all these wacky creatures, I'm going to have to end it off with the final boss! What could the big bad, the ultimate boss of all these sea monsters even be, I wonder? Well, it's...

...a coelecanth. Just a big coelacanth! It is big and blue! And really, does it need to be anything else? It is such an honor to make the biggest ultimate boss a coelacanth. It is even pretty cute!! Think he's smiling! 😊

Uh oh! Is it still cute? I guess so. My first thought seeing this was of course the world-renowned tongue eating isopod, so I really hope it was an intentional reference! It probably just wants to shake hands. Still, a pretty simplistic design for our final boss, right?

Buu buu! Its true form actually looks like this! Actually, it's kind of doing too much. Like let's tone it down a little?

So!! We beat the mega ultra coelacanth, and now we can find out what his motivation is! And it is... that he is the memories of the people of the past or something. And they all didn't want to be forgotten, so they turned into fish monsters! But we forgive them!

It doesn't really matter. All the girlies gather around and sing him a song. Look how happy he is! I forgot I was talking about a Love Live game until now, actually. All's well that ends well, the end, et cetera! Hit it, Yohane! [imagine this is like the end of a kids movie where all the Love Live girls are having a dance party and there is a shot of the big coelacanth in jail and he's tapping his mouth fingers along to the beat]

[nohoperadio]

What do I want to read? This is the question @perdvivly asks us to consider in a recent book meme thing. This is not something I'm very orderly about most of the time, I don't really have a list (untrue but we'll get to that) I just possess a lot of unread books always and when I finish one I just kinda look around and see what seems good. I guess I'll be doing the post version of that here. I might not end up with 10 categories and they might not all be proper categories, dunno let's see what happens! Stuff I want to read in 2025:

Three English women I've mostly read and need to finish off who have not a ton else in common

So obviously we have Iris Murdoch, whose novels I've been deliberately rationing at 1-2 per year for the past 15 years; currently at 21 out of 26 read. I'm not gonna finish them all this year but I am thinking of picking up the pace a little bit, it would be embarrassing to die or something without getting to the end, the above numbers don't even include the philosophy and other bits that I intend to get to too, and I mean I'm obviously just going to keep rereading one or two per year for the rest of my life anyway so the sense of "oh no there'll be no more left" is maybe a little silly? Like it's cute that I've made her last this long but come on. Anyway I love her I love her I love her I love her.

There's less Jane Austen to get through, I read Northanger Abbey in January thus finishing the novels so it's just the incomplete Sanditon and then the juvenilia so I can say I've read all of her. Looking forward to seeing her get silly with it in some of this stuff. Oh and maybe there's some letters but I don't think very many?

And Virginia Woolf, again already finished all the novels as of this year but then there's--well there's a lot, I'll obviously finish the short stories soon but there's a lot of essays and stuff and I'll have to play by ear how deep I want to go there, I read vol 1 (of 6) of her diaries a while back and it was like half-fascinating half-boring, which I guess is the best we can hope for from unedited diaries... I possess the second vol but we'll see, we'll see. Do I care about her book on Roger Fry? Who knows. I wanna read Hermione Lee's biography of her too, I read the one by Quentin Bell (her nephew) which was pretty entertaining but I want to read a proper one too.

It's weird I'm pretty obsessed with her but like, you have to really get on her wavelength to actually enjoy her fiction ime, and getting on her wavelength is a mental trick I'm... kind of mid at? Like when I do fall under her spell it's like nothing else, you can really get swept up in her evident sincere conviction that every single thing that happens to everyone is intrinsically fascinating, but when the spell fails to work, I can't lie to you, it can be pretty boring? But I keep coming back to her because I crave the magic and probably always will.

(A year ago on this very tumblr I linked one of her (actually pretty unWoolfian!) stories and two people actually read it and liked it and that felt really good. If anyone's reading this please check it out and tell me what you think and I will give you. A little kiss.)

17th century British history

Fuck I gotta make these shorter than that. Alright well I've never really been a history reader tbh but I've randomly become a bit fascinated with the period around the civil wars and I'm seeing how far I can ride this, aside from like wikipedia and podcasts I've read Jonathan Healey's The Blazing World (which is kinda bleh, pretty loose narrative that often is just jumping around various anecdotes and quite shallow-feeling analysis), started Blair Worden's The English Civil Wars (much much better so far! It's short but feels way more grownup and less documentaryish). Have also bought but not started The Noble Revolt by John Adamson, intimidatingly long but highly regarded, and then for a primary source I have my eye on Edward Hyde's History of the Rebellion, written by Charles I's chief advisor and supposed to be fun... yeah we'll see how all this goes.

All this fucking poetry I have

I had to ban myself from buying poetry a long time ago because I kept falling in love with volumes in the bookshop and then when I get them home I just can't get it up for them somehow. I know I can like poetry because I can tell you poems I love but they're always isolated encounters, somehow sitting down with a book of poetry and spending real time with it is, not a thing I can really do? Or not a thing I can do on purpose very often. But like I don't believe that's my heart, this feels like it should be a solvable problem. So this section represents, I suppose, an intention to have another stab at solving it. Oh I guess I should mention some actual books right? Well this here anthology of Metaphysical Poetry is surely a promising start because the metaphysicals are clever and I value cheap cleverness extremely highly. Don Paterson's collection Rain is one I did actually succeed in getting deep into back in the day so perhaps I'll try his 40 Sonnets which I have here, a lot of it looks annoyingly avant-garde though (wrong type of clever). Two of my favourite bands have written songs about John Berryman which is probably as good a reason as any to pick up The Dream Songs. TS Eliot because I still know the first couple pages of Prufrock off by heart although I couldn't really get a handle on The Waste Land.

Muriel Spark too! Fun fact one of my earliest original posts on this account was just me posting a Muriel Spark poem I really loved and it didn't get any notes, go read it and give it some notes. I will give you a little kiss.

Phenomenology?

Okay this one is like, I'd be pretty surprised if it happens in a big way this year. Sad as fuck to say but I'm not sure the version of me that has a full time job is capable of accessing the requisite levels of not-being-tired to read long dense philosophy tomes, but I mean it's not like I've really tried lately. When I was a teen I started-didn't-finish all three of Being and Nothingness, Being and Time and The Phenomenology of Perception, and while they did technically defeat me this stuff was what convinced me philosophy was important, it's still really the only philosophy I've ever read whose value really seems beyond question. I've never really touched Husserl but at some point last year I impulse bought Ideas so clearly some part of me wants to do it. I don't know man! Maybe.

I want good nature writing to exist

This one is mostly not about specific books and is more of a cry for help, I ranted in the tags of this post about how frequently nature writing seems to go out of its way to like, be about anything other than nature? And I know it can't all be like that but I've been burnt a lot of times... I guess I've had more luck with the ones that are more pop sci branded than "nature writing" branded so maybe that's the way to go. But yeah if anyone has any recs for who is the anti-Helen MacDonald please do let me know.

Should I start reading the cool kid books?

In a way, I work in a bookshop, and I hope to keep doing that actually, so it might be professionally prudent to know something about like RF Kuang or Sally Rooney or whoever the fuck. However, I don't really care. So it's a dilemma!

I want to re-read Claire-Louise Bennett,

which might actually be doable this year because it's only two books and they're not very long or slow, but fuck she's good. The only really recent author I truly love I think? If I were asked to write a quippy quote to go on the back of her books I'd say she was equal parts Woolf and Tristram Shandy and then they wouldn't use my quote. I quoted Pond at some length in this post, I actually think Checkout 19 is probably better but there's not much between them. If you go with Pond don't be put off by the prose-poem shorts, I can take/leave 'em they're not really representative of the rest.

Weird depressed Europeans who go on about stuff too much

Some years ago I walked into the bookshop that would eventually become my workplace in a mood to find something totally new-to-me and fall in love with it, I came across Laszlo Krasznahorkai and something about War and War really grabbed me and for some reason (apparently about a guy whose suicide plans are interrupted by his randomly discovering an unknown ancient epic and his felt duty to make sure it's preserved? Sounds cool right) I bought everything they had by him (four books). And for some reason I started reading The Melancholy of Resistance instead of that one, a very unhinged and sprawling philosophical novel with no paragraph breaks that was hard-going but compelling, then I lost the book halfway through. Months later I found it again but by then I had gotten too sad about it and it's not the kind of book you can really dip back into after a long absence so like, that was kind of the end of my Krasznahorkai thing. Well I'd like to try again. And I want to start with War and War this time since that was clearly what fate intended in the first place.

The other guy in this category is Knausgaard, who I feel like I don't gotta talk about as much cos everyone has already heard about how great he's supposed to be, I read the first volume of his struggle and yeah it's pretty great. Wanna get to the second vol soon.

I want to start writing in my diary again

I'm a firm believer that every list should contain at least one item that doesn't belong on the list, so: I've proven that keeping a regular daily diary is something I can keep up for at least like a three-month continuous period, I proved it last year. If I can keep it up for three months then I can keep it up forever, right? Three months is a long time, it's like a small forever. And there's a lot of reasons why "a few words per day of record-keeping/minor self-expression that no one gets to look at" is a really useful thing for me to have, but after that initial run got derailed I never managed to get it back for more than brief episodes. Well, I hope it wasn't a fluke and I hope I can find my way back into it this year.

Oh I don't know, maybe my actual fucking list of books I want to read that I actually supposedly have? Hmm what about that? What about that maybe

So I do have a goodreads (Viv I want to be your goodreads friend but last time I looked through my read shelves like a ton of the ratings made no sense to me and I'm just kind of embarrassed by it, I've been planning to start a fresh account for a while, when I get around to that I shall add you; it looks like you went through a similar thing so I trust you understand!), and I do add stuff to the Want to Read list on there occasionally. I never look at this list, so it serves no purpose at all. I'm looking at it now and I don't even know what half this stuff is. Like wtf is South Wind by Norman Douglas, with only 314 ratings? I'm sure I've never seen this book in my entire life. Who is Witold Gombrowicz? I recognize Elias Canetti as the name of a guy who might have slept with Iris Murdoch I think but that doesn't seem like a good reason to want to read him. Yeah this is a completely useless list and I will continue to never look at it. Oh sometimes at work I take photos of books that momentarily catch my interest, and those photos are like, another one of this.

---

Okay that's ten! Hey Viv this was actually a lot of fun thank you for tagging me, I'm not really proofreading it because it's too late so uh, sorry about how it is. Everyone else, obviously I'd enjoy seeing you talk about books if we're mutuals, I hate tagging people but I'll do some anyway: @lloke @medlinka @autogeneity @jerkeline @robustcornhusk @wellmetmat @abodywithorgans, if I didn't mention you you should take it as a calculated insult obviously

[crystallizsch]

can you tell I like yuuyu..?

HDBSJSJS HI HI YUUYU LIKES YOU TOO ISA 💥💚💥💚💥💚

also that infodump is SO outdated, i've completely scrapped the tinkerbell/frozen crossovers because it's so convoluted dkhsflk

but some of the tidbits about his personality and backstory still stands i just need to rewrite all his backstory and lore eventually into his intro post (which i still need to make ;;;) 😭

anyways uhh i want to take this opportunity to infodump (some of) my new thoughts here (+ some ghost bride tidbits) below the cut!! (some will also just be repeats from the old post)

while Yuuyu is mostly based on Tinkerbell, his personality is also a mix with Peter Pan’s (and his backstory having inspirations from Wendy Darling)

he can be curious, mischievous, and he's a does-what-he-wants type of guy. when he puts his mind into something, there’s no going back and he pretty much is motivated out of spite most of the time.

although he doesn’t vocalize it, he always wants to one-up anyone doing better than him even if it’s a thing that is not in his wheelhouse. Yuuyu hates being seen as inferior in any given case.

Yuuyu tends to be quiet most of the time despite the seemingly competitive personality. he would prefer to make bodily gestures or noises such as whistles, claps, tongue-clicking, snaps, etc.

like Tinkerbell (and Riddle hdjsns) his face absolutely turns visibly red when he’s REALLY mad (fortunately he doesn’t often express big emotions whether positive or negative, his mannerisms are always pretty chill)

(^ this is based on something i saw somewhere that fairies can only deal with one emotion at a time that's why any emotion that Tinkerbell seem very amplified, at least the Peter Pan movie version of Tinkerbell)

being based on Tinkerbell, his talent is tinkering and making stuff out of literally anything. and that means he is pretty proficient with machinery/technology/etc. (omg i just realized he can relate with deuce…)

━━━━━━✦

anyways i STILL want to incorporate a lightning bug familiar with him somehow based on Blaze from one of the tinkerbell movies

from the tinkerbell movies too, tinkerbell had a twin sister who's a winter fairy named Periwinkle; so i was thinking of twin yuu isekai where Yuuyu was transported to NRC while a twst periwinkle was transported to RSA 🤔🤔🤔

(^ but i'm also still debating on whether or not he's going to be a yuu or just another ramshackle student who is also coincidentally named yuu and still incorporating twst periwinkle 🤔)

he has a scar on his nose because of an accident (that i haven't thought of yet)

also i still think if he had unique magic it'll be able to heal any physical wounds/scars no matter how severe (the caveat is that he needs his sibling to cast it)

(^ again based off one of the tinkerbell movies where tinkerbell’s wings were ripped and was only healed bc of magical sisterly wing magic)

ALSO ALSO i know you sent in an ask a while ago for a Phantom Bride Yuuyu so i’m just going to include that here finally hehe—

omg it's so cool to hear that he gives off flirty shoujo vibes, you inspired me….

anyways Yuuyu is incredibly oblivious to romance and flirting 🧍

he comes off as flirtatious and charming quite unintentionally, he thinks he's just being nice -

when Yuuyu DOES attempt to be romantic, it comes off unnatural and weird :(

i'd like to think that he's on the aroace spectrum or that he's demiromantic/demisexual specifically. he NEEDS to be friends with someone first before any romantic pursuit.

^ and i think that would be what he would be preaching to Eliza: that you should have a close bond with someone you want to be with the rest of your life. it'd be a shame if one's standards for a partner is only their physical appearance.

(also forgive me i haven't seen phantom bride for a while so i'm just throwing things at the wall 😭)

[pain-in-the-butler]

Out of curiosity…if Ono is your third fav Seb. What’s your Offical Sebastian Ranking™️?

Just as with the ask about the Anime Expo panel, it's fortunate for me that someone reached out, because I was thinking of making this a post on my own eventually someday anyway. What follows might be more information on my opinions of Sebastian than you care to have, so apologies in advance. Let's count down from worst to best:

6. Hiro Mizushima from Black Butler (2014)

There's a reason no one talks about this movie. It's because it sucks, and somehow I feel I can't really blame Mizushima for his performance, but... it is still a mixture of weird and unmemorable. That hairstyle does him no favors either, but maybe the fact that I find him a little bit frightening to look at should give him points rather than detract them. Off-screen, he looks like a completely normal man; somehow the film's efforts to make him a sexy butler were unfortunately funneled into making him unnerving and unappealing. And the movie is two entire hours long.

There's a lot I've deleted from my memory about the Black Butler live action film, but that lack of memory seems a sign that he should sit in dead last. Whether he's acting like a total weirdo or actually successfully impressing me, Sebastian should never be a forgettable character, and all I can think when I consider Mizushima's performance is that I never need to see it again.

5. Yuya Matsushita from That Butler, Friendship, The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World, and the first run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth

I know some people may find this placement to be blasphemous, but honestly, the only thing I really like about Yuya's Sebastian is his singing voice, and even then I'm not that wild about it. It's been a few years since I watched TMBDITW, so it's not super crisp in my mind, but I will give him some recognition as an early Sebastian who still had little material to work with. He probably had to do some of his own legwork to adapt the character to the stage and to the original stories he was expected to act in. That can't be easy, and it makes sense that his Sebastian would be one that had to stand somewhat independent from the canon. I also appreciate that he is playing Sebastian with purpose behind his actions and not a sexyman who just serves whatever convenient purpose the narrative dictates, like Mizushima's Seb.

With that caveat out of the way, I still don't like his Sebastian portrayal. It's clear Yuya really drummed up the "I'm no one but I can become anyone" aspect of Sebastian. He can invent personas that suit the situation, like when he decides to seduce Undertaker, but as soon as the problem is solved, he reverts back to being robotic and unsmiling. You get the feeling that he's rather cold and calculating and that he is only interested in doing things that will earn him Ciel's soul. I didn't watch with subtitles, so perhaps that evaluation is misplaced, but his mannerisms dictated that energy to me.

Also, I can't get behind the sort of sexual and romantic tones that sometimes felt present, especially when real children were involved. It will always taint his work for me. There's one song where he and Ciel look at each other the entire time and it's three and a half minutes long but it felt like a year. I wanted to crawl out of my skin because it was so horrifically awkward. Stick this man in fifth.

4. Toshiki Tateishi from The Public School's Secret

So I went into this musical fully prepared to hate Toshiki's performance, considering the act he was following, and... I thought it was actually pretty decent. When I think of Sebastian in the Weston arc, I think of the "sexy professor" angle Yana kept trying to push, and I was worried Toshiki would play into that, especially considering Ciel was being portrayed by a legal adult onstage for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised! That's not what happened at all.

Though likely unintended, I would say Toshiki gives off a rather maternal vibe, behaving more like Seb does in memes: kind of silly, kind of fussy, an overworked single mother who cares for her boy. Toshiki's Sebastian was very attentive of Ciel. He was frequently pleased with his kid's impish nature and didn't seem that annoyed to be taking on extra tasks, only complaining lightly, "Even though I have things to do too!" at the end of the chores song. When Ciel came up with a plan to foil Maurice, Toshiki seemed excited to praise him and gratified to help. He was like Sebastian Lite, only a bit insidious at times, mainly the ever-attentive helper.

To me, it's the first time one of the musicals has made Sebastian feel like a supporting character rather than the driving force behind the story. I prefer when he and Ciel are both treated evenly as protagonists, but I hate it when it's All About Him. I think Toshiki's performance has a good heart and he made me laugh at times. He's not quite canon Sebastian, but I like him. I trust him not to eat the sonboy just yet. Mostly.

3. Daisuke Ono from the Japanese dub of the anime

Daisuke Ono was a part of my first experience with Black Butler, so there's something about his voice that feels like it's just right for Sebastian. And it kind of is. It's a really flexible voice, and one that is clearly giving a performance when you listen to him. He also infuses his dialogue with what sounds to me like inherent smugness, which I think suits Sebastian perfectly. Ono's performance is the most self-satisfied in nature. It makes you think of a well-fed cat licking its chops while it considers its next meal.

His voice is not sexy to me, but I can see why people find it to be. At the same time, Ono isn't afraid to give Sebastian different inflections, even ones that some might consider too embarrassing or OOC for Seb. He's a veteran voice actor and he knows how to do whatever is requested of him. Sebastian treats his career just the same: he too will do essentially whatever Ciel requires. I think Ono is a natural match is what I'm saying, especially having now seen him in person and observing the way he works a crowd so effortlessly.

All that said... Ono's Sebastian is perfect. I don't mean that as a compliment: I mean he's too lacking in flaws. Sure, he has the big flaw (okay with killing a child) but he isn't really giving "silly idiot." Ono's Sebastian is the one the girlies write about in their self-insert fiction. And for the first two seasons, that's kind of who he was supposed to be, so fine. But even when he has silly or idiotic moments, it doesn't feel quite authentic, if that makes sense? I think to Ono, Sebastian's stupid mistakes are just a fluke, quickly corrected. It doesn't feel like they're a fundamental part of who his Sebastian is.

If you consider this nitpicking, you're right! The next two Sebastians are just that good. I still consider Daisuke Ono to be a very talented and accurately-portrayed Sebastian.

2. J. Michael Tatum from the English dub of the anime

While it's possible that I pick up on more nuance in Tatum's performance because he's the only one here who speaks the same language as me, how fortunate we are to have him doing Seb's English voice. He might not actually have a real British accent, but he's just too charming not to love. To me, he has all the vocal command of Ono but is more candid in his delivery. Ono may be Sebastian the perfectionist and Sebastian the performer, but Tatum is Sebastian the butler, well settled and confident in his human role.

I really appreciate the ways you can hear Tatum's voice change notably depending on Sebastian's emotions. This is especially prominent in Book of Atlantic during the flashback sequences: an annoyed Sebastian is an entirely different sounding dude than when he's being cunning, and again when he's being subservient. And he really does have this very silky, ASMR-ass way of speaking that suits Sebastian to a T. It's inherently convincing.

And more to my own interests, Tatum's voice for Sebastian has a really paternal nature to it, and I like that. I think it adds to the complexity of Sebastian's role in Ciel's life when you can hear this caring quality in the voice of a demon that will one day kill the child he works for. He can also be snipped and punctual, and then he can be gentle and reassuring, all in the same scene. And he can be scary too... and I'm super looking forward to hearing how this plays out during season 5.

To compare him to Ono again, I think Tatum knows Sebastian can be an idiot at times, but that quality still takes a backseat to the suaveness. He's almost perfect. And I probably would even say he is perfect, if we hadn't seen perfection itself. As he is, I think Tatum is an excellent voice actor for Sebastian, and I'm grateful that we have him in the position that we do.

1. Yuta Furukawa from the second run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth, Noah's Ark Circus, and Tango on the Campania

Yuta Furukawa. What a legend. What an icon. This is where I would say "he isn't just playing Sebastian, he is Sebastian," but Furukawa is even more than that. He's what Sebastian should be. And that's not just me being rude to Yana. Yana has flat-out said that Yuta knows Sebastian better than she does herself. She's right.

If you have yet to see Yuta perform, then congratulations: you're in for a treat. What I wouldn't give to forget my first watch of Tango on the Campania and relive that magic all over again. Yuta knows who Sebastian is with every fiber of his being. And the fact that you see him over the course of three plays means you get to witness for yourself how his Sebastian goes from being a smirking demon who lives to impress, to a creature who understands fear, hardship, and pain. And yet you still wonder: is he really learning and growing after all? Or am I too being tricked by this suave being who appears to be emotionally moved?

I'm also proud to report that Yuta plays Sebastian as a true idiot. He says silly things, he behaves in silly ways! He's embarrassing enough to make Ciel roll his eyes, he uses his brawn before his brain, and he's often surprised enough to gasp. He's not afraid to look impressed or astounded or even frightened: he wears his emotions on his sleeves, but he can hide them just as quickly. This Sebastian lives for attention from humans, but what he loves even more is learning from them — perhaps so he can become a better hunter, perhaps so he can become a better scholar. He leaves you wondering which in the most intriguing way.

And I may be biased, but Yuta to me is the most paternal of all the Sebastians. Whether or not a fatherly nature is intended, I'm at least happy to report that his Sebastian is not one romantically inclined towards Ciel. His coworker is an actual child, so there's no reason that should be an acceptable angle anyway, but it really shows in all the little ways he primps at and supports Ciel on-stage. His rapport with Reo is especially adorable and shines through in their every scene.

Not to mention, he's so endlessly entertaining to watch. He has legs for days and he can fuckin groove. He may be playing a demon but he has the voice of an angel. If I called him to my house, he'd probably fix my leaky shower. What can't this gift of a man do??

I could literally go on and on and on for paragraphs. Yana is just the same. We all love Yuta Furukawa, the only Sebastian who is more Sebastian than Sebastian and probably the best thing, in my humble opinion, to come out of the Kuroshitsuji franchise. Thank you, based Yunbastian. We did nothing to deserve you.

[poptartcat]

Steve and Dally

@vickypersch

Hi I saw you reply so I will now gleefully make a post in a way that sounds like poorly structured rambling >:) (I mean that’s literally what I’m doing but yk) (sorry this is going to sound really bad I suck at wording things when I’m trying to like analyze)

We don’t hear a lot about Steve, but he’s got a no-good dad, a buddy he’d fight until the ends of the earth for, and would choose to fight out of hatred and contempt. Wait-

You could totally apply that to Dally.

Dally mentions to Johnny that his dad doesn’t care where he is or what he’s doing. That’s just like Steve. We don’t know about either of their moms but we can assume they’re out of the picture. We know Johnny was Dally’s person (and Dally almost literally hid a dead body for him lol) but Soda was Steve’s. Pony says Steve would keep fighting and hating if it Soda who died. Dally did and didn’t fight after Johnny died- he fought an idea. Dally fought the mere idea of existence without Johnny. Steve would fight to avenge a wronged Soda. Steve would fight the people, the social class who looked down at them and killed his best buddy. He’s smart. He can’t fight something that isn’t there. He can’t fight an idea. He can fight the people perpetuating the idea. But ultimately, they’re both fighting for one person. And their people (Johnny and Soda) are the only ones who aren’t described very negatively. They’re two bright greasers in a world where those are hard to find. Both like see the warmth the world has to offer through them.

They’ve both also just been given a certain emotional trait. Dally’s got his indifference, Steve’s got his anger (this one idk how to properly explain). I like to imagine that this helps them bond (since they actually don’t ever directly interact in canon, which is actually very weird to realize). They both are spiteful of the world around them and tackle it in different ways. I imagine they have this dynamic where they’re hateful or cold to the world when they’re together. A little like Pony and Johnny where their eyes blaze and mouths curl into a sneer and it’s conveyed like that. Or maybe they’re both isolating themselves from everyone else because the world sucks. They both don’t really know what or how to feel except the one thing they know.

And this one is a little more in my own head, but I genuinely believe Steve could’ve gone down the same path if not for meeting Soda. I once saw another post and I wrote in the tags:

Steve and dally feel like two sides of an abnormally shaped coin. Like straight up just how Johnny is described as only really being around bc of the gang I imagine Steve in a similar situation where he’s only as open or joyful as he is bc of the gang. more specifically soda. He’d have a dally-esque reaction if anything happened to soda in ‘nam which is why I love [the idea of Soda in Vietnam]. Steve and dally losing the people they love most to the cruel reality and hatred of the world. their brightest person’s flame being stomped on before it lit the sky

Steve met Soda in grade school and he’s had the gang for years and he’s still a ball of fury. One can only imagine what he’d be like without Soda. He’s angry, but he’s got a best buddy for a reason. He’s got cars, and jokes, and does all that because he’s gained almost as much as he’s lost and had a system/people in his corner. Dally never had that. Dally didn’t meet them until way later and he’s hardened when he does. Both found that ray of hope within a hopeless war. Steve just got lucky and found it earlier. Especially when you take their childhoods and place them side by side (to a surface level, anyways. Since we don’t know much about either’s childhood. Especially Steve.) I think Steve would’ve let himself get consumed by the anger just like how Dally did the coldness.

Sorry I def had thoughts but idk if I connected them very well

[not-kamenx]

beyblade x episode 42: XYZ

if you are wondering at the start. Yes I’m going to talk about the very last part of the episode in another post. I just. Wow.

Okay first off, we get a recap about Jaxon and how he’s been running around battling everyone, then we get Blader Z entering once more but reveals his bey, Obsidian Shell, and Jaxon just giggles. I assume he’s pretty happy he’s managed to lure Blader Z out, but Multi and Robin were not having it and tried to pull him back but Jaxon fought them off and said “All I need is one battle, then I’ll be satisfied! I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing!”

are we all thinking the same thing? HELL NO IS HE GONNA BE SATISFIED ONCE. But then Blader Z tells him to switch up his bey to Sword Dran. Which, I find pretty interesting since Blader Z was using Buster Dran earlier. Why wouldn’t Blader Z want him using Buster Dran? …then I realized it later on at the end of the episode. I’ll talk about that in my second post.

the battle starts but Blader Z gets interrupted by a call. I did NOT know these masks could have technology but Jaxon’s mask IS water proof so yeah. But here’s where things go CRAZY

Jaxon disappears again, TEAM PERSONA IS ON SUSPENSION SO THEY CANT PARTICIPATE IN EVENTS AND STUFF AND THAT TITLE MATCH AWAITS FURTHER, and ROBIN GETS ATTENTION FROM PEOPLE

It gets to a point he has to hide from a little kid who’s walking nearby with his mom 😭 Sure not all the attention might be positive (the Bladers think they have a chance with Robin since Jaxon was too strong) BUT IM GLAD HES BEING RECOGNIZED!!! and our detective baby bird figured out he has to lure Jaxon instead of ACTIVELY finding him, because Jaxon doesn’t want to be found

and then. We have. This.

Haha. Hahahahaha. EXCUSE ME??? BLADER Z AND BLADER Y ARE CONNECTED SOMEHOW??? Not only that, THEY HAVE THIS WEIRD RELATIONSHIP GOING ON. THE HELL YOU MEAN BLADER Z IS CALLING BLADER Y “SIR” THIS IS NOT A BUSINESS AFFAIR. WHY IS BLADER Y USING HIS SHOE LIKE THAT TO TILT Z’S MASK UP??? and most importantly WHY DOES THIS RADIATE TOXICITY. Okay, now Blader Z’s behavior makes a LOT more sense. Strong rivalry with Blader X/Jaxon? Seems he’s trying to impress Blader Y. For what reason we still don’t know, but Blader Y is definitely NOT impressed because he said “Who exactly authorized the use of Obsidian Shell?” Like, okay. Blader Z can use whatever bey he wants because he has the bey and as long as it isn’t, idk, another world ending bey that causes the world to end (looks at Metal Fury) HE CAN USE IT??? WDYM AUTHORIZATION??? Then he leaves and Blader Z is hating Blader X more than ever. Buddy, I don’t know about you, but I think whatever you have going on with Blader Y is FAR more concerning than your rivalry with some masked guy. Having someone having to authorize what bey you use in a battle is. Not the way.

anyways, Warden gathers the boys (Titus, Takumi, Robin, Blaze) and asks them what they know. Robin is then like “hey guys I got a plan to lure them”

ANDDDDD he shows off his skills by managing to convince Quinn to be the prized Blader to battle against as other pro Bladers fight to get a match with her. (By convincing, I mean, winning against her 10 times in the video game until she agreed to it).

Side note, I really love how all the characters are involved in this. Packun is over here helping out, Number One and Number Zero are here as commentators, practically all the teams are here, and Multi is watching

If you’re wondering, yes Blader X shows up, and yes Packun attempts to shoot him with… something I can’t recognize BUT ITS INSANE PACKUN BUILT THIS JUST TO CATCH HIM 😭

I also found it really funny that Robin was able to sense someone through the fog. Except it wasn’t Jaxon, he landed smack right on Blaze AND SEEING HIS EXPRESSION WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE ROBIN LOOKED SO MORTIFIED AND BLAZE LOOKED MILDLY SURPRISED

I also find it funny that this is just a reverse situation from Zip and Zoom. Everyone’s trying to catch Robin then, but now, everyone’s trying to catch Jaxon. And Jaxon is PRETTY good at escaping for having literally 0 stamina at all. However, the difference between him and Robin, is that Jaxon gets caught and Robin doesn’t. And how exactly does Jaxon get caught?

yes. he gets caught by. a sushi trap. A SUSHI TRAP. ROBIN HAD THIS PREPARED ON THE GO. YES JAXON WALKED STRAIGHT INTO IT WITHOUT NOTICING THE OBVIOUS STICK IN THE MIDDLE AND WHINED OUT LOUD WHEN HE REALIZED ROBIN DID IT. JAXON CROSS GOT CAUGHT IN A SUSHI TRAP LIKE HE WAS A MOUSE TRYING TO SNAG SOME CHEESE.

yes I’m going to read deeper into this later on.

anyways Quinn manages to unintentionally kick everyone out when they don’t want to play against her (Titus looks slightly concerned for his grandmother), and Robin drags Jaxon away to a slightly irritated Multi (she looks like she’s about to punt him to Pluto) while he just tries to be silly

he is so silly but Jaxon I fear you’re not going to be able to run away anymore. AndthenaftertheybothdragJaxonoutwefindoutBladerYisChromeohmygod HES ACTUALLY BLADER Y I CANT DO THIS Chrome is actually Blader Y oh my god no NO NO NO this adds an actual whole entire. No. It adds a VERY big problem. Jaxon ends up asking Multi to not tell anyone. We pan out to Chrome and Sigrid in the X. Sigrid does NOT understand him. Chrome is.

my honest reaction to the last frame of this episode was just me screaming bloody murder, WHAT IS BEYBLADE EVEN ABOUT.

Hahahahahaha what is this room CHROME WHAT THE FUCKEXCUSEMEEHQOQBROFVQJEHD OF WBB CAN IEE SEE WVFIDGFBWIERBW DIFNTPEBLWVSEOEOFHGMGOGFODF TOGHRE YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME I M SCREACNRING DO NOT DO THIS TO ME YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME IM SCREAMING IM KICKING YOU HAVE TO RESTRAIN ME FROM GOING INTO THIS ANIME MYSELF AND SHAKING HIM

analysis will be in my second post because this one is longer than my essays for English, good day to everyone I’ll be analyzing everything in half an hour

but overall, this episode was pretty interesting and dropped a LOT on us. The preview was also interesting. It’s gonna be about Team Pendragon back then (aka the past) and I’m REALLY REALLY looking forward to it.

[xerith-42]

Why Blaze is MyStreet's Most Failed Character

Blame the big bang discord for this post, I wasn't gonna write it until those fucks encouraged me.

Anyways here's an entire essay about why Blaze is the most wasted character in the entirety of MyStreet and I will literally fight Jessica and Jason Bravura with my bare hands.

To get us started on our harrowing tale of wasted potential and the best improviser Jessica ever hired, we need to go back a little. Back to Phoenix Drop High Season 2. We won't stay here long, I promise, I hate it more than you can possibly know. But the single saving grace of this absolute mess of a season is ya boi, Blaze. Introduced in the 18th episode of the season, airing on April 12, 2017, with the airing of Phoenix Drop High Season 2 Episode 18, Blaze was a character who started his brief tenure series with a bang!

Literally dude showed up and the first thing he ever did on screen as a character in a piece of media we can engage with is throw someone out of a window. We do not know this mans name yet and he's already left a lasting impression. Sure throwing people out of a window is common in werewolf culture, which I don't care what you say that's objectively funny, but it is bold to start a characters entire introduction with that. Blaze comes out of the gate swinging before he's said a single line.

And then after introducing himself he throws a dead bird at Aphmau to show off his hunting skills?? Okay so he's just that fucking weird and overly enthusiastic about things I guess! That's amazing! MyStreet always shines when it just lets it's characters be fucking weird without making a big deal out of it or talking them down for it. Dottie even says that it's romantic which is again just a great showing of Blaze's enthusiasm and lack of what might appear to be common social decorum because of said enthusiasm.

This is all punctuated and brought to a hilarious breaking point when Blaze's final showing of why he should be the new top dog at his school is when the crazy mother fucker rips his shirt off to literally flex about how he's one of the hottest guys in the school. And I'm going to be real with you, given Blaze's later characterization as a himbo, I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually care about this. He just says it because he thinks it'll boost his chances. Blaze is later shown to be a character willing to throw away his reputation for the things he cares about, but he does get a rather sincere moment with Aphmau, even if she's blushing the entire time.

It shows that Blaze is not only physically affectionate, but also weirdly comfortable with his shirt off. Because this is purely objective character analysis I will not be shoving my Blaze is autistic and has sensory problems with things touching his chest propaganda down your throats, but now that I've mentioned it once you won't stop thinking about it when this comes up.

The show admittedly fumbles the bag a little by having Blaze say in his internal monologue that he thinks Aphmau is cute and acts kind of like a tsundere, but this is Jesson writing so there's always bound to be a bit of That Shit. But in spite of that, Blaze is a character who has an instant impression that leaves a lot of room for comedy potential, and just good ol' fashion silliness. And while the werewolf plot of Season 2 is... bad, Blaze and the Werewolf Pups are stand out characters in the sense that their characterization leaves a lot of potential if they're in a different, better written story.

And even if the arc is bad, Blaze still is a quality part of it. His shallow but hilarious initial characterization gets built on in some really solid ways. Namely in how he acts as a force for good in Aphmau's life even if she doesn't realize or give him permission to do it. This entire season is about how the different men in Aphmau's life handle helping her in a crisis, and funnily enough, in a season centered around Aaron literally overthrowing Aphmau's new love interest, Blaze is the one who was consistently doing what was best for Aphmau.

Aaron fumbles the ball more than a few times, Ein is shown to be actively malicious, and Kai gets hate crimed. But Blaze, who's barely even a contender in this ship war, is constantly working to actually make things better while everyone else is pulling Aphmau away from what actively matters about her position. While Ein is manipulating her and Aaron is trying to prove that, Blaze throws caution to the wind and just does what he thinks is best to restore order.

But more important than that end conclusion is his true goal of standing up for Daniel. A wolf it is established he barely knew before this year, that Blaze is willing to throw his reputation and standing in a bull shit hierarchy because he's seeing how this hierarchy is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it. Blaze is the one who is baring his fangs and willing to throw hands when Daniel cowers away from bullies. By the end of the season Blaze has been given adequate screen time to not only show off his fun and maybe a tad out of touch side, but he's been given a real level of sincerity that's tied into the things he's enthusiastic about. He loves being a werewolf, and he extends that love to all the werewolves around him, until they start being dicks to other werewolves who are literally just sitting there.

At the center of Blaze is that inherent goofiness though. He's always cracking jokes, or the joke when he's on screen, and in a series that was originally pitched as a light hearted slice of life comedy in contrast to MCD's general misery, that sort of character is needed to keep the tone. Such is show in episode 22 when Blaze is reading a book on the Scientific Method to just learn more about science, but realizes the book is upside down.

But he actually understood it enough to properly apply the scientific method to this situation?? Iconic. It's played off as a joke of Blaze exploiting a loophole to get out of class, but even that's pretty smart honestly. Blaze may be a dumb ass but he's always willing to cheat an unfair system.

Episode 22 is basically a Blaze centric episode, which I did not expect, but now that I'm rewatching it for this post it might be the reason I love this character so dearly. It's not only the episode where Blaze manages to learn the Scientific Method upside down, but also stands up for Daniel in a really substantial way. Blaze is loud, enthusiastic, and strong, all traits that are celebrated by werewolf culture, and whether he realizes it or not, him just being around Daniel can do a lot to get bullies to back off. Everyone has seen Blaze toss a mother fucker through a window, they do not want to be on the receiving end of that.

He spends the rest of the episode trying to figure out what Ein's deal is when he hears that Ein went behind Aphmau's back on werewolf matters, landing Daniel in this situation. He hears Ein actively plotting against Daniel, but that is normal werewolf behavior. He concludes that he'll keep an eye on Ein. And this through line of "normal werewolf behavior" informs a lot of Blaze's decisions once he comes to the conclusion that Ein sucks and deserves to be undermined. He resorts to letting his actions speak louder than words and goes to violence after realizing that the wolves aren't listening to reason, they're listening to instinct.

He fights fire with fire, and while Aphmau might not approve, it's more effective than her soft rhetoric has been in getting people to be less of jackasses. This eventually lands him in hot water where he steps in for Daniel after Ein tries to get his goons to beat him up, and even if Blaze is fighting in a five v one, he still goes down swinging. And I'll say it, I think it's sweet that he calls Aaron after this happens. While it's clearly meant to be a thing of Blaze calling the last alpha because he's probably the only person who anyone will listen to, there's an important detail I think is easily overlooked.

He has Aaron's number.

He says he got it from the werewolf pups, but that means that Blaze went out of his way to make sure he could contact Aaron. He's the reason that Aaron even realizes Ein is playing all of them. Blaze is the catalyst for his undoing because unlike Aaron who's nearly imprisoned, heartbroken, and been hesitant to act in the plot as a result, Blaze doesn't actually care that much if Aphmau currently likes him because he's more worried about her physical and mental well being than whether she wants to kiss him or someone else.

How many Aphmau love interests can say that?

Can any of them say that?

Blaze can.

Blaze actually consistently shows a level of selflessness that's unfitting of how I've seen some people characterize him. He gives up his real chance to be Alpha because Daniel is so compassionate and earnest and genuinely deserves it. Blaze wants to believe in a future lead by people like Daniel and Aphmau where he might not have to keep fighting people to keep things sane. Blaze constantly gives up his pride, his power, his safety just to make sure that his friends are taken care of, or to effect real change in a school he's about to leave.

It wouldn't be long after Phoenix Drop High Season 2 ended that Blaze would make his debut in the main series My Street in the second episode of Season 5, airing only a few days after the end of Phoenix Drop High Season 2. Just like before he really shows up with a bang, literally throwing himself through the air between Lucinda and Kim just to catch a frisbee because Blaze is the most extra mother fucker ever, and then immediately proceeds to flirt with them. Iconic as ever. Short but sweet.

It's in episode 3 that it's revealed that Blaze and the werewolf pups kept Aaron company during his rehabilitation year. But from the way it's worded it sounds like Blaze was called in before anyone else by Aaron's parents. Based on the way they talked and actively planned together before, I wouldn't be surprised if Blaze was the first person who came to his mind when Aaron thought of a werewolf friend.

I think Aaron reached out to Blaze when he needed it.

And even though I've previously stated that I don't think Aaron's parents initially liked Blaze because by this era he's old enough to fully take on his persona as the cool stoner friend who's also a little insane in the most charming way possible, he has a good impact on Aaron. Aaron likes being around him, and maybe they smoke weed to help Aaron relieve some of the lasting pain when no one's looking.

Regardless of his methods, Blaze does an ultimate good in Aaron's life as a result of being there for him when he needed it. So much so that he was invited out to Starlight and is shown to be one of Aaron's main pillars of support. We are given scarcely little of this actual friendship, which is where the problem lies. While before Blaze was a surprisingly engaging part of an other wise terrible story, at least in season 5 the story is a lot slower and character focused. And Blaze can work in these moments, we saw him have real moments of sincerity before.

He gets some of it, but the issue is that Blaze isn't allowed to be alone anymore. The cast of MyStreet is huge, and Blaze is a character who is making his second major appearance, while some characters in the cast have been present since literally episode one. It's hard to justify giving him solo screen time when he's been in the series for such little time and we barely have enough time for certain significant characters to really have arcs (Lucinda). Most of Blaze's scenes are scenes with at least four other characters on screen, he's never allowed screen time without at least two other werewolf characters attached to him.

I don't object to Blaze hanging out with his friends, or even making new ones though out the season but... Would it kill the writers to let him have a scene with Aaron? Like. A single scene. Where it's just Blaze and Aaron. I mean just Blaze and Aaron without Aphmau there. They've done this before. They did it in the season Blaze showed up in. Just one scene where the two of them get to talk about literally anything would do so much. Even if they talk about Aphmau, it's better than nothing. It would strengthen both of their characters so much to be able to get a scene where they talk to each other not as conspirators who kinda know each other, but as real friends supporting one another.

Show that even though Blaze said Daniel was more compassionate than he was, Blaze still is a compassionate and even empathetic person. Show why Aaron was grateful to have him during his recovery. They have those scenes of Aaron at physical therapy, right? Why not have Blaze take him one time and just show how they interact then? The possibilities with this unrealized idea are endless, and that's genuinely upsetting. Opportunities like this present themselves every time Blaze makes an appearance, they even tease me by giving me scenes where Aaron is alone with a character he has little to no connection with, Maria.

Maria was a foil for Aphmau. And Ein was a foil for Aaron. And Blaze was a foil for Ein. There is no reason for Maria to really have a rapor that matters with Aaron. He doesn't really know her that well, she's clearly a friend by association, and it seems like an odd thing to focus on when Blaze is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THIS SCENE.

Why won't they let Blaze talk to Aaron? It's so infuriating. The closest we get is in episode 7 when Blaze attempts to calm down Aaron, but he's shown to be ineffective and it comes down to, of course, Aphmau being the one to talk him down. I swear to Hatsune the writers are making fun of me at this point. They're going "Oooooh you want Blaze to be an actually helpful and supportive figure in Aaron's life soooo bad." AND I DO!

I'm serious when I say the show is teasing me. I've been skimming through Season 5 and only watching the episodes when Blaze is on screen, and so far he has never been in a scene with less than 4 people in it. Never. And even in scenes where he gets to be at least a focal point, he's always limited because he has to share that moment in the spotlight with FOUR OTHER CHARACTERS.

Episode 14 is a great example of this. When the werewolf gang gets told they aren't allowed to eat at a restaurant because they're werewolves, Blaze makes it abundantly obvious that he's put up with this before and really doesn't feel like being hate crimed on his vacation. And he knows that actions speak louder than words and therefore joins Maria in saying they should "teach this establishment a lesson." Personally I think Blaze would've just thrown the manager through a window only to realize it's an outdoor establishment and throw him into the ocean. Which would be objectively funny and deserved because that owner was being cringe and racist.

I love the conversation that happens because it shows the unique way that Aaron sees things from passing as a human for most of his life. This has never happened, but he knows that further acts of violence as a result will only make it happen again. This is a great scene for Aaron. Not really good for Blaze, and the next scene makes him worse. I love the detail that Blaze is an instinctual person more than a planner, but it feels wrong that he doesn't even let Aaron consider planning. I know he wants Aaron to be more spontaneous but he should have more awareness of his friend and his habits and be able to accommodate it, not talk over it.

But it's Jesson, so misunderstanding even their simplest character is par for the course. At least episode 15 gives me Garroth and Blaze talking in the background, and I'm starved for good Blaze content, so I was eating this shit up. The problem with watching MyStreet this way is that Blaze... Just doesn't get a lot of moments... At all. There are some episodes where he doesn't even speak at all, and when he does get to talk in episodes, he gets a few lines in one giant ensemble scene.

I don't object to a show having an ensemble cast, or even a lot of characters with a few central ones, but it really is a detriment to the show that Aaron never gets a scene alone with any werewolf he isn't related to. Nana gets to talk to Blaze when she's having a crisis of her relationship history and experience, but it's just so Blaze can tell her the opposite of what she wants to hear. It's not a scene that feels like it was written for Blaze, because it wasn't. It was written for Nana.

And before some jack ass says it "Blaze is a side character he's not supposed to get a lot of focus" and I'm not asking for a lot. I watched every scene he's in in PDH to prove that it works

BECAUSE IT DID.

Blaze showed up officially in episode 18 out of 30, and he wasn't in every episode after his introduction. But the writers gave him a solid introduction, one good episode that spent most of its run time with him, and really good moments throughout the rest of his time in the series. All I'm asking is that Season 5 at least give me one of those things. Either a good episode where he and his relationship with Aaron is brought into focus, even if it's used as a vector to study Aaron's character, or just more sincere moments for him.

It feels like Blaze is a joke character now when he previously made it very clear he's far more than that.

And then they just forget about him. During the first part of the 3 part finale Blaze is there. He's the one who got everyone to gather at the docks because an mf wants to eat some scrumptious food. But when Aaron sees Ein and starts freaking out, Blaze is literally just not in the scene. At all. Not even as like a throwaway of someone who could've helped but failed, he just is not in the scene at all. It legitimately feels like the writers forgot about him entirely.

Blaze the minute the plot shows up:

He's there after Garroth gets turned and was apparently at Garroth's bedside trying to calm him down which I will be thinking about. A lot. I'll be thinking about how we deserved to see or at least hear some of it, about how the writers continue to tease me with an interesting scene that involves my favorite little fucker, about how heartbreaking it would have been to see Blaze and Melissa try to calm Garroth only for him to scream in pain and try to push them away only to reveal that Zane and Nana are able to hear the entire ordeal downstairs and Zane is panicking when he hears his brother screaming in pain. Just thinking about what we could've had if the writers actually cared about any of these characters.

And then after that he dies.

I'm not watching any of When Angels Fall because I know what's good for my health. I know what happens in Season 6 Episode 9 and that's all I need to know. It doesn't matter if the writers may have finally given Blaze an emotional scene, it doesn't matter if they finally gave him even a hint of character development, it doesn't matter if he made a connection in a real way. Because no matter what he did the result is the same. No matter what quality the writers might've pulled out of their ass, it would ultimately be in service of one end. From the start of this season these writers knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to up the stakes and add more drama to the show, and they wanted to do it by killing Blaze.

And I think I know why.

This is 100% a limited view, but I was on Aphmau Instagram at the time that this season was airing. And I ran a Blaze fan account. I talked to a lot of MyStreet fans during this time and I was constantly upset and disappointed that people didn't understand Blaze's character, or just didn't appreciate it as much as I do. Most people liked Blaze on a very surface level, or because he was attached to another character they liked. I found very few people who genuinely cared about him as an individual, probably because Blaze stopped getting scenes alone by the end of PDH, and because the Aphmau fandom (at the time) had more of a focus on shipping than character work and quality. Blaze was easily shippable with a number of characters, canonically shipped with Dottie a little, and had enough characterization that people cared about him, but not enough to get a large dedicated fanbase.

He was the perfect one to kill.

Enough people liked him because he was hard to hate, he was stapled onto Aaron's character with little regard for a story of his own, and his death could be eventually inconsequential. And it was! Blaze's method of dying is so bad it makes me physically angry!

I know the whole story for the last few seasons has been all about Forever Potions and turning people against each other, but just mind controlling Blaze and having him die while under mind control is such such a missed opportunity. There's been a disappointing lack of proper Aaron and Blaze friendship content, but they could have made up for it in this scene with just a few tweaks. Just have Blaze not be mind controlled at the end. He can still go on that rant about Aaron being the cause of all the bad that's happened, but then the words start to become... disjointed. Jilted. As if Blaze is struggling to say them because he knows that they're wrong. Aaron's his friend, there's no way he'd say that about him.

Have it break.

Have him look at his friend in a worse state than he's ever been in, and instead of approaching him with intent to harm, it's intent to heal. A final attempt at getting through to Aaron. And like the times before, it doesn't work. Aaron's angrier than ever and he isn't seeing or thinking straight thanks to Ein's bull shit. All he can see is an enemy in his way. Maybe he sees Blaze's eyes but Blaze's green eye is still Emerald Green, even if the control broke for a moment. Whatever reason, Aaron still attacks.

He doesn't realize that Blaze wasn't trying to hurt him until it's too late. Aaron's anger already ruined a friend's life, it already pulled all of them into the hell they're in, and now it's killed one of his best friends.

ONE CHANGE. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK. ONE SINGLE CHANGE TO MAKE BLAZE'S DEATH ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING.

Ideally I'd like it Blaze just didn't die at all, least of all before the finale, but if you're going to kill him off unceremoniously at least make it have some emotional weight. You've been neglecting him for an entire season and now you just kill him off? Just like that? Oh he gets to show up in heaven? How nice. Is it a scene where he gets to express regrets, remorse, or even give any insight into his feelings?

Of course it fucking isn't! Are you kidding me, that's not even close to what happens. I said i wouldn't watch When Angels Fall but

I LIED!!

I watched Blaze's death scene and his scene in heaven to make sure I knew well and good how badly they failed to kill off my favorite character! And man, the scene in heaven is just the worst! Blaze does a genuinely kind thing for Aphmau and decides to stay with her when she's alone because he doesn't want her to hurt. He saw how much pain Aaron was in without her. He just wants to fucking help her.

But Aphmau's too self absorbed to realize that and instead goes on a whole rant about how she always needs other people to take care of or protect her and how everyone else would be better off yadda yadda. What she doesn't realize and what Blaze eventually gets to tell her is that people were around her and took care of her because they just wanted to. Because she was nice to be around. And they never expected anything else, and never saw her as a burden.

And that's actually a really nice moment. Sort of. There's two major problems. First, Blaze gets cut off from telling Aphmau this at first because Irene has to go on a whole rant about Aphmau being selfish. And she is right in everything that she says, but it feels weird for Irene, who literally doesn't know her, to be making this judgement. This scene should have been Irene observing a conversation between Blaze and Aphmau were Blaze just tries to make her feel better.

And that would hopefully solve problem number two. Which is that what Blaze says is very genuine and heartfelt, but severely handicapped by the fact that he and Aphmau were only friends for a short period of time in High School, and an equally short period of time within the last few months. What Blaze says about why he likes being around her is true, but it would have a lot more weight if there was a chance for Blaze to have been around her as a friend more.

Fuck it, if you need Blaze to be on screen with at least two other characters, why was there never a scene of Blaze, Aaron and Aphmau just talking? Would a single scene of that fucking killed you? Just one scene would have made their friendships a lot more solid and therefore heartbreaking to lose when it gets torn apart.

Third problem, the scene ends with a focus on Irene. Blaze's words echo in her ears, and remind her of her friends. And I like that idea because I'm an absolute sucker for MCD, but it takes the scene away from the focus. This should be a scene about one of Aphmau's friends encouraging her to not give up even if it all seems lost. At least don't let her death be in vain by saying such awful things about her friends while they may be grieving. But Irene is brought into focus again because the show isn't about Blaze, or Aphmau apparently, I guess her Aphmau Main Character Powers overrides Aphmau's. She has more experience with them.

Blaze and Aphmau's very heartfelt dialogue is brought down by the fact that these two characters lives didn't intersect very directly out of high school. Through the course of Season 5 I never got the idea that Blaze was Aphmau's friend. Not to say they weren't friendly, I think Blaze adored her just as much as he did in high school, but as a viewer I was never shown that they cared particularly for one another. I believe that Blaze sincerely cared about her even after all this time, but that's not because of anything the writers did with him in these seasons. It's just because that's the kind of person Blaze is.

But their friendship not being strong really weakens the scene. This is a scene that I know for a fact worked as intended when I watched it as it was coming out. I was an overemotional mess of a 15 year old who hated how this series was going but kept watching it because it was almost over and I might as well get it done with. It pulled on my heartstrings and they sang and I cried. I cried a lot. This scene made me incredibly emotional, and it still got to me as an adult, but the devil is in the details.

Blaze and his arc might work on the surface. They work if you don't pay that close of attention to it. They work if you care more about the characters he's constantly around more than Blaze. And when I first watched Seasons 5&6, I still had a very deep attachment to a lot of these characters, especially Melissa, who he shares a lot of scenes with. So I felt... satisfied? I would've liked more, but I probably wouldn't have complained about what I got (his death scene not withstanding I always thought that was bad).

My my, how the times have changed.

If it wasn't obvious from the four thousand or so words you just read, Blaze is a rather unique case of these writers failing as writers. A rather unique case where the perfect character to fix a lot of problems with their show practically jumped up in the air waving his arms around and they still brushed past him to focus on a predetermined story he was shoved into. I don't think the writers ever really had a plan for where Blaze would go or what he would do.

A lot of Blaze's best character moments are when he isn't being written by Jesson. The reason I love the minigames so much is because there, Blaze's incredibly talented voice actor Jason Lord is actually really funny and pretty good at improv. Obviously some bits of the mini games are scripted, but a lot of them are just seeing how much voice actors can get into their characters, which he's fantastic at. A lot of Blaze's funniest moments come from this too, which is great when the writers turn him into a comedy character but the characters voice actor is funnier than they both are and is only a funny character when they don't have direct control of him. Lord is able to bring life to a character who may have been lacking it due to the simultaneously focused and unfocused way the series was written.

Blaze is proof of what happens when writers don't bother to develop their characters beyond the outline. The draft notes for PDH Season 2 said "there's going to be a wolf character who tries to become Alpha and instead stands up for Daniel when he's bullied." and then Blaze was born. The writers gave him some characterization as a treat to make the story work better, and then were done with it then and there. We fleshed him out enough, good character, time to put him in season 5 so people stop criticizing us for not giving Aaron enough friends.

But the problem wasn't a lack of quantity in friends, it was a lack of quality. It was a lack of scenes that let Aaron interact with other characters without Aphmau present. It was a lack of characters to point to that were real emotional connections Aaron had that weren't his last minute family or his girlfriend. It was a lack of attention given to the few characters that could've filled that role. Dante almost filled it in season 2, and Aaron and Garroth could have arguably become closer after everything in season 4, but at that point Aaron's entire arc became centered around Aphmau.

It was the fact that Blaze was one of the few people who ever directly reached out to Aaron and then was never given a scene alone again. It was because the writers wrote too many characters, tried to give the series a more direct focus, and then failed to account for the characters that were dragged along even if they didn't necessarily know what to do with them.

So when Season 6 came around and they decided to make the show super serious no really stop laughing, they needed characters to kill off to up the stakes. It's not like Blaze's character was going anywhere. It's not like they had a plan for him. Nothing was really being lost.

It's not like Blaze was one of the most sincere and dedicated characters in the series. It's not like he had one of the biggest potentials in regards to his relationship with Aphmau or Aaron. It's not like there was time spent proving that he could be a solid pillar of support in both of their lives even under dire circumstances. It's not like he was set up that way through individual scenes where he got to talk to each of them on a personal level. That definitely didn't happen.

TLDR: MyStreet peaked at season 2 and they fumbled the bag with the best chance to make it peak even higher and I'm forever bitter about it. Now get out of my house.

[foundry-fabrications]

Hey folks! It took WAY too long to get this out, but it's finally done. Well, technically it isn't done, but I'll get to that in a bit. One weird thing that needs explanation at a time.

So, as one can tell, I didn't just make statblocks for the behemoths, write some lore, and call it a day. I've discovered that I really don't like making statblocks and dealing with all the nonsense that comes with it (CR is a joke, and I'm not laughing). So, in typical Foundry fashion, I tried doing something weird that requires more work and ultimately still required me to make statblocks anyway. Yeah, I'm not smart. 

So I made them templates instead. And while I was tempted to give up and just do the obvious thing since I was just going to end up with stats anyway, making them templates makes a certain amount of sense from a lore perspective and I genuinely think is an interesting idea worth pursuing. Quick lore tidbit, behemoths are likely the result of normal creatures becoming mutated by aether (it's not certain, but there are signs of this origin from what I've read), so a template makes logical sense. So, as long as I pick appropriate creatures for the template examples, the end result will get you pretty close to the behemoths in game. Sure, they're not perfect, but it would be easy to tweak them to better suit your game.

So the other behemoth in the room is there are only 3 behemoths here. I had intended on releasing them all at once. Turns out there's like 30+ behemoths AND 5 basically legendary behemoths. So, I'm splitting them up into their elemental categories, and the legendaries by themselves. I already have the Blaze behemoths written out, so those won't take nearly as long. As I complete each category, I'll update this post and make y'all aware of the additions. By the end, I'll have one document with all of them in it, a brew to rival Flesh & Bone. 

But for now, a quick break to work on something else my ADHD has compelled me to rework. Stay tuned for that. Anyway, stay safe, don't forget to love each other, and I'll see you next time.

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a Tip or supporting me on Patreon! Patrons gain access to high quality PDFs for all of my content, weekly updates, early access, and more!

[transienturl]

there is a sizable subset of the ultra-enthusiast tumblr community who (reasonably, in cases, given the circumstances) have been convinced by the sheer volume of tumblr-related discourse that is driven away from factual considerations by the victim complex, the need to have an enemy, and an external imagination of how websites work that doesn't hold up to scrutiny. I don't think that's debatable. I see the volume as a tragedy and a bit of a disappointment (it will always happen but I do think we can do better) and am sympathetic to the people who accept it uncritically, if somewhat concerned (I imagine this kind of thing extends into the non-internet world).

but yeah, like. I enjoy working on the XKit projects, and that's why I do it. I enjoy doing support for them, too—I don't have a way of counting it, but gosh, I must send 50-100 messages a month responding to inquiries, giving tutorials, etc. okay I actually have no idea what the number is. but anyway.

admission: it's not nearly as fun when some huge percentage of the posts you're responding to are just laced with this stuff. "1-starring the app will make tumblr better!" "staff broke xkit on purpose!" "I know the reason behind changes I don't like and they are malicious/ignorant!" "it would be easy to fix [x thing] and it is not fixed so someone is out for me!" (there are more nuanced ones too but those are all pretty unambiguously false examples.) again, I see why people repeat these things because they are so darn prevalent, often from people you trust.

this is a site about sharing things that resonate with you. feeling like you're mostly helpless against a big power without your best interests at heart is deeply relatable. I get that. it's still annoying though.

I don't know to what degree I have the power to change any of this? maybe to some degree I can pull the "I'm half or more of the XKit development for at least the past year" card and maybe that has some weight re: making people see my perspective as coming from "being on the side of the users," blaze some posts maybe, but I dunno, man.

Feels like a weird thing to really lean into, on the one hand. And public comms stuff is a ton of work. On the other hand, I guess it would be silly if I didn't ever pull that card and eventually just quit if it didn't seem worth dealing with. I don't think that would kill the XKit projects, but... okay yeah I'm just saying that because it's nice to be optimistic. I have zero idea if it would or not.

[sneakydraws]

Ok so! As per the wishes of @chernychnyi and others and also myself, here's a little analysis/rant about the boreo front bottoms lyricstuck thing I did. Because of tumblrs 30 image limit I had to fuse some of the frames and also couldn't fit in the unused frames I really wanted to mention - so those will get plonked down in a separate post I think. Ok let's roll

To begin with, the pov - I didn't exactly plan ahead on this regard, I kind of just listened to the song and experienced visions of tgf scenes to go along with the lyrics, but once I picked this project back up after half a year of letting it sit in my procreate files I definitely saw a sort of narrative form around it. Most of what I had was very much from Boris's pov and about Theo. The tone was sort of protective, sort of desperate, sort of penitent, sort of possessive? I'll elaborate on it later but I basically ended up exploring a lot of the ambiguous or unhealthy elements of the boreo dynamic, and realising that when I was maybe 70% done made me lean more purposefully into that angle in the remaining frames. So for example in this frame, even though they're both indisputably wiry and broke down, I choose to make this about Theo because Boris is the worldly, knowledgeable survivor to Theo's harrowed newcomer. There's a fragility to Theo that's less visible, and maybe less present, in Boris.

Like in this line, which has a great air of warning or instruction to it, like the singer is trying to brace their friend for what's to come. I actually struggled hardcore with this frame! Because I knew I wanted this image of Theo reaching toward the surface of the pool, but it arguably made more sense in the "jaws theme song on repeat" lyric (since it's Boris pulling Theo down)... I ended up sticking it here because I wasn't sure what else to replace it with but I think it's kind of a happy mistake because it right off the start showcases the dichotomy in Boris and Theo's relationship and its more toxic aspects - Boris pulling Theo down visually in one frame, but promising to help him swim in the lyrics in the next.

I don't think it came through so well but I wanted the previous panel to have a bright sun streaming light through Theo's fingers, and the blazing desert sun in this frame to echo that - the sun as the element of danger, Boris's opposite. The positioning of light as danger and shade as safety is a trope I sometimes drift towards in queer narratives and it definitely goes back to that heartbeat short film I didn't even like that much...

Maybe my all time favourite scene to depict with teenage boreo - Boris dragging a dead drunk Theo off the street... I love it because it's so rarely we see Boris be the responsible one, the one doing what's Supposed to be done

I really wish I'd had the time and the motivation to spruce this up really well because in some points I envisioned really clearly the kind of transition I'd want to have... I would have loved for the camera to swoosh down and do a little overshoot into this frame, so some of the dynamic of the punch is carried into the visuals. Oh well! Apparently this line (like the song itself) is actually about heroine usage, but here it's Larry and Theo - I feel like a snakebite is an apt metaphor for this punch, with its sheer unexpectedness

The nightmare comfort is a must have of course... I was kind of afraid I was repeating myself with how often I use this kind of scene with this exact framing ahahaha

Massively difficult shot to pull off because I wanted the distortion to be prominent and for Boris and Theo to be really small in the frame but for it to still be mostly readable!! Anyway this is their weird drunken hookups, which I think fit this line not because secret teenage hookups are inherently evil or anything but like. I do think the way they're never ever addressed and the shame associated with them in Theo's narration give them a definite air of unhealthiness. A red flag... A warning sign, if you will

I actually think at one point the drunken teenage sex went here, with the undertone being that Boris realises there's something wrong about it but doesn't stop anyway? But that's kind of muddled, and the much more obvious choice is the theft of the painting. And the "amount to take/reasons to take more" plays well with Boris's habit of stealing random shit from Theo already before moving on to the big fish

The reunion! I play Boris as catching on well to the inauthenticity and comphetness (as well as comp-normie-ness) of Theo's little life - and reminiscing, I suppose, on how unsurprising it is that he'd end up pulled in this direction, trying to run away from the trauma and shame of his real self. There's also a little guilt here on Boris's part, a little bit of a feeling of culpability - carried over from the theft of the painting and the never-addressed sex, and echoed in a second in the guilt or regret of letting Theo leave like he did, betrayed and deceived.

This line maybe doesn't ring one hundred percent true because neither of Theo's Vegas guardians really gave enough of a shit about him to "pray he would change", but they do judge and shame him occasionally for his weakness, his trauma and so on, so I think it works. And (although I had to push this line onto Boris's frame simply to have an excuse to show his face) they "close their eyes" to Theo's real self and the sheer horror of his experiences... Hm

Of course Theo cuts his own hair and sends himself away before anyone else can but you know. Too perfect of a fit

Definitely my favourite and cleverest moment - theo "stops by Boris's house", i.e.by their common home, the night he escapes... Boris begs him to stay (another day so he can get the painting)... And the omitting of "I love you but" from Theo's written dialogue, with the massive conspicuous gap in the word bubble, was something I thought of early on. The unsaid "I love you"? Too fucking good not to exploit. And NGL it feels good to be like ooohoho I'm not just matching visuals to existing lyrics, I'm manipulating them to fit my own narrative and engaging in a dialogue with the lyrics or whatever... Hehe

This is the scene where Boris announces he'll run away and Theo immediately says he'll come with. But the important thing to note is that I found out about different shoelacing techniques and made Boris ladder lace his jungle boots

This and the previous lyric, although the visuals show two different scenes, both relate to Theo's apprehension about how following Boris around will surely lead to no good, especially without a plan. Boris through the lyrics is saying don't worry about it, we'll figure something out!

Umm so I drew this with lighting speed as I was editing the whole thing lollll I totally forgot about the instrumental parts and just how LONG they were... I needed something to fill up the space ahahaha. But it's vaguely supposed to hark back to the scene after Mr pavlikovsky beats up Boris, what with the bottle of vodka and the bloody nose and the unconcerned laughter

The pool frolic! Very appropriate. We've got the obligatory moon cameo, and I made sure the pool and the sky were the same stark shade of black so it feels like boris and Theo are hanging between two equally real worlds, plunging into the starry night...

I just remembered that Boris's bracelets pop in and out of existence a lot ahahaha oops! But this is of course essentially the same scene as the "it's gonna look like mud" lyric, only more literal this time. Admittedly this lyric is moreso from Theo's pov, which is a bit out of place here although I do play around with the pov a little later

One of the first frames I'd envisioned I think! I mean come on. And a great example of how the singer really emphasises certain words, so I punch them up a bit by capitalising them

This was actually a struggle because Boris is such an action oriented character - the stupid shit he says doesn't actually have that many consequences! But eventually I thought it would be fitting to show one of the scenes where a semi malicious joke or a mostly innocuous remark activates Theo's internalised homophobia - i ended up going with his comment about Hobies letter.

More timeskip normieness! The spark and look of Theo's I consider artificial, like the flash of the cameras poised to capture the kiss between the engaged couple's, and the look hidden behind the anime shine of Theo's glasses... I could have spent more time showing that but I'll be honest this was one of the last lines I had to illustrate and I was getting impatient. The "I will not be brave" was a tricky one - I kind of wanted it to relate to Boris's selfishness maybe, in taking Theo away from his fiancée? Like, he will not do the noble thing by stepping away and instead Will try to drag Theo back into his life... Though that itself is motivated by a sort of penitent guilt

Again, Boris trying to find a space for Theo in his life - maybe Theo can work for him! Or with him! Anything, god, just forgive me!

I'm a little annoyed because I remember having a good idea for these lines and then I forgot it!! But with this I ended up gesturing vaguely to some reasons why Boris acts like he does - taking control of the life seemingly subject to his dad's whims and work travel, rebelling by imitating his father's worst habits - something something the paradoxical repulsion towards his father and need to imitate or one-up or outdo him...

For a while these lines were both on Boris's back as he stands in front of Hobie's shop. Then I ended up splitting them in two, but they're the same theme - Boris taking responsibility for his actions and trying to atone for his betrayal of Theo. First by tracking the painting down and coming, drenched, to inform Theo of his progress (that scene is one of my favourites between theo and Boris actually) and then by desperately running after the boy when it seems he might carry it off and destroy it forever (another favourite because it showcases Boris's desperation to earn back Theo's trust).

Also, didn't fit it here but the second instrumental section has Theo's face on it - to make a set with the earlier Boris drawing, and they're opposites because Boris's eyes aren't visible while Theo's are the only part of his face visible, and Theo's worried frown suggests that he sees through Boris's jolliness somewhat, and also! It signals a switch to Theo's pov for the final few lines!

Another line that leapt out at me from the beginning - xandra's ominous yet oddly romantic prediction that Theo will follow Boris wherever, even to a prison cell. This is actually kind of funny because initially I thought a twin sized mattress was a mattress for two - and I connected this to xandra's belief that Boris and Theo will always be a set of two, connected at the hip. It wasn't until I googled the lyrics and read the genius annotations that i realized it was the exact opposite - but luckily for me, the connection still kind of works? Maybe not so well for this panel but for the next two for sure:

Like, my initial thought was that they were both cursed to sleep on a two-person mattress alone, with an empty space next to them - but the literal half-empty double bed can also work as a metaphorical single bed, so... Win? And of course there's complicated messaging going on because, like, their sharing a bed is simultaneously something too adult for their teenaged friendship and something from their childhood to haunt them into adulthood, causing them to never "graduate" into a typical adult relationship no matter how hard Theo tries... And the "somebody's attic or basement" fits in with Theo settling in to weltys bedroom... And of course Boris sleeping in Theo's bed after xabdra takes pity on him, an idea I'd touched on before... Not to mention the "let's go home" "home?" "My place. Whatever" exchange that I loooooooooooveeeeeee

And the final frames! I had to consult @frozenladybug for some storyboarding help because while I knew what theme I wanted I couldn't think of a scene... The idea is that Theo will forever be haunted by his past - hence the nightmares - but that now Boris is there to support him, happy end. Flb came up with the "standing by the window" idea which I love because!!! First of all, dawn is breaking, which signals the end of the troubled night but also brings forth the antagonistic sun - almost as a symbol of the night of Boris and Theo's early relationship, dark and dangerous but full of an odd camaraderie and haunted by the Boriscoded moon, ending. But what comes after that night is a different relationship, with its own challenges but maybe changed for the better... And in this scene Boris comforts Theo by physical contact and a cup of tea (hehe) instead of the desperate clutch of their early years - less intense and physical but maybe healthier and less codependent? I'm kind of freestyling but there's something there. I had thoughts during this project about how Boris calming Theo after his nightmares is almost more parental than romantic and how it allows Theo to cling to boris one-sidedly and how it might change with time... Idk, some personal musings played a part as well and it's definitely a reach but that's what was on my mind. Either way, happy bittersweet boreo ending and lemme go and make that rejected drawings post real quick now

[nach0]

been cooking up this au in the background but here we go!! spoilers for pretty much the whole game (not twohats but that will come up in a future post) so beware!

The celebration had grown monotonous, now. You drag yourself to talk to everyone like pulling the strings on a puppet, comfort Bonnie (they would never get to see their sister unfrozen), watch Isa stumble through the start of a confession (he would never confess to you), lie to Mirabelle (you’ll never get to leave, let alone return to visit), woop woop with Odile-

Ah. You were still doing that one. And you’d missed your line.

“...Are you alright, Siffrin?”

“Why wouldn’t I be! We won!” Get back on script, now. “What are your plans for after we finish here?”

She’s still looking at you strangely, but it’s fine. You can feel how strained your grin is, but it’s fine. Odile is going to be suspicious and ruin everything again but it’s fine-

“With the King defeated, I suppose I can finally go back to travelling. I’d be curious to visit some more Vaugardian cities and hear what they have to say after an event like this.”

Speed it along, Siffrin.

“It’ll be weird travelling alone again, won’t it?”

“...Hmm. Yes, it will.” She carefully bookmarks her page, folding it to turn her full attention on you. “You seem… distressed. At the thought of setting out on your own again.”

Oh, she had no idea. Travelling, going anywhere else, was the least of your worries now. A giggle escapes you at the thought of seeing anything other than Dormont or this blinding house again.

“Don’t worry about me, Madame! I’ll be just fine!”

Your smile doesn’t reach your eye. It hasn’t in so long, the only indicator of how bone-achingly tired you were giving you away with every moment of eye contact you can steal. You’ve been able to play it off so far, but now… It doesn’t matter. It’s all over once you talk to her anyway.

“Assuming I believed you, despite that little display-” and from the look she was giving you it was very clear she didn’t- “I had been planning on asking you to continue travelling with me. There’s still so much for me to learn about Vanguarde, its culture, and… well, I enjoy your company, Siffrin.”

You can’t control your expression fast enough. The script hasn’t just been ignored, it’s been torn in half, set on fire, and thrown off the side of the house for good measure.

“I- you- you’ve never said anything before!”

“I could never find a good way to bring it up.” You must still look confused because she laughs, a single note with so much fondness packed into it your heart starts to ache. “Is it so hard to believe? That I deeply and genuinely care about you?”

Yes! You want to scream, because doesn’t she know? Doesn’t she know what a selfish monster you are, how you’ve forced her- forced them all- to care about you? To love you? You don’t deserve to have her look at you like that, like you’re worthy of her care-

But.

You are so very tired. And wasn’t this what you’d wished for, to journey with Odile back to Ka Bue? You’d almost forgotten, if you were going to be honest with yourself, but it swims in the front of your mind clear as day.

“I… would love to, Madame.”

She smiles before waving you off, returning to her book with an expression you can’t quite decipher. Fondness, perhaps? Worry? Some mix of them? You suppose it doesn’t really matter when she’s going to forget in the next loop, but for now… it’s nice to imagine. Continuing to travel with Odile…

It’s. What. You. Want.

Back to the stage, Siffrin. There’s one actor yet to recite her closing lines.

The taste of Time Craft fills your mouth as you march up to the Head Housemaiden, a barely hidden fury blazing in your eye while you wait for her to begin breaking down, opening your mouth to recite her lines alongside her.

And she…

doesn’t. 

“Travelling one, are you alright?”

Burning sugar is all around you, in your nose, in your mouth, filling the very air as you can do nothing but gape at the impossible deviance from the script, why was no one following the script, and you almost double over when hit with the earth shattering realisation that-

“It’s really over.”

Your

world

                 goes

                                black.

---

Welcome to what I am (at least for now) calling paper stars au because i have been trying to think of a name for an hour. taking suggestions

sif's fineeeee it's just all the stress and wishcraft catching up to him now they've stopped for five seconds. like sharks!

anyway yes! au concept! Act 4 siffrin is so tired that, unsurprisingly, the party notices! slightly more surprisingly, odile offers the very thing he wants! by this point they're done and this is close enough to what they wished for, right? he wanted to keep traveling with odile anyway, so they just... give up on the rest of their wish.

from there the party splits, odile and sif take bonnie home, and keep going together after that

i have so many thoughts and ideas for this au! how do the rest of them feel? when does siffrin actually say something about the loops? what is loop themselves up to? all questions i have thought about at great length but have yet to write!

questions and asks very much welcome, please come talk to me about this i swear i don't bite <3

[blazing-butterfly]

(new) Pinned post!

Hi all, I'm blazing-butterfly, you can call me BB or Blaze or whatever other nickname fits (just never call me mommy). Huge nerd and aspiring writer, posting and reblogging whatever I like with very little filter.

I have a sideblog for villainess yuri princess hornyposting and related self-indulgence at @hail-the-villainess.

You can find me on AO3 as Butterphoenix, I haven't posted much there yet but I'm hoping to work up the nerve >///<

Filter for less stress: #us politics // #cw transphobes // #transmysoginy // #puritan bullshit

Search for my favorite stuff (in no particular order): #saving // #hope // #villainess yuri // #lesbian vampires // #living weapon // #kink // #robot girl // #tokusatsu // #toy design // #game design // #story ideas // #my writing // #about myself

Yet more info below the cut:

Like the description says, I use she/her pronouns, I'm over 21, trans lesbian on the asexual spectrum (homoromantic aegosexual if you're into microlabels) but also into kink as a domme. Sometimes I'll post horny here, so please no minors following me! I'm also polyamorous, not open to new relationships at this time, but if you're respectful we can chat flirty or maybe RP. I'll make a separate post about my NSFW interests, uh... when I get around to it.

I struggle with anxiety and depression, and likely some combination of ADHD, bipolar and autism. I'm also pretty shy and introverted, so it's really hard for me to initiate or keep conversations going, and I just cannot do small talk. But I promise I'm friendly and actually love talking to people, so please reach out to me if you want! This also means I'll often want to do something but take a long time to actually do it, so try not to be weirded out if I suddenly pick back up something we were talking about ages ago.

I'm also a huge nerd about all kinds of things! Aside from the favorites I list above, I also love fantasy and scifi, real science and history, yuri/GL fiction (sapphiction?), puns and wordplay, writing, games of all kinds, analyzing media, cute animals... honestly the list of things I like goes on and on! Yet somehow I rarely end up getting into the big popular media that seemingly everyone else is into, so a lot of fandom goes right over my head.

I don't believe a DNI list will actually stop anyone from interacting with me, which is why I haven't bothered listing out every bad thing I'm against, but I've had a few annoying encounters with the groups in my hostile list so I wanna make it clear they're not welcome here.

Anyway, that's all I can think to say right now. Nice to meet you!

[slimyalienfreak]

( @gbslament )

Hello!

I am really a fan of your fanfic so I would REALLY like to see a GB x (really whoever you feel like shipping him to, like MX) since, seeing those fanfics, i was super inspired in my writing!

If you do this request, thank you so much, it means the world to me!

GB x MX Relationship HC’s

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

Honestly I’m really grateful that I’m able to inspire someone else’s writing. It really makes me feel accomplished in some way that I’m able to do it. I know I might not be able to fully express my gratitude for it but trust me when I say that I truly mean it.

Normally I wouldn’t do Character x Character fics but I’d figure I can use this request as some sort of testing ground to see if I actually like it. Plus I wanted to use this as a way to show my appreciation. Hope you like it.

Also please don’t harass anyone for liking said ship. I know this won’t be everyone ideal ship due to reasons and that’s fine but I don’t appreciate people harassing and attack others for it. As long as the ship is not illegal in anyway I don’t mind it. If you don’t like it then simply don’t interact or read this post. Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: He/Him (For Both GB and MX)

Warning: ❌

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: GB + MX

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by hellhoundclown on Tumblr + Banner by sweethzme (Edited By Me) on Pinterest

———————————

- Oddly enough these two can actually get along with each other. You would’ve thought that some cocky entity and some oversized murderous giant wouldn’t get along but they actually do. Despite their differences they find ways to get around it. Honestly it's kind of weird to some people how extremely close these two are with each other. Do they care? Nope, not a single bit. If they got a problem with the two of them then too bad. They fully plan on expressing it no matter the situation or how times other people have told them to get a room.

- I feel like out of the two GB would be the one to be the more flirty/romantic one out of the two. Not to say MX doesn’t have his times when the roles are reversed. I just think GB would be the most likely one to be more open about it. I mentioned this in my relationship headcanons of him that he’s both flirty and clingy. This pretty much applies to whoever he’s in a relationship with. He just loves to get in people’s spaces, especially MX’s. Not that MX necessarily minds. I mean he does prefer his personal space but he also likes to just cuddle with GB. It honestly really depends on the mood he’s in.

- I like to think that out of the two MX is the better at comforting compared to GB. Arguably sometimes there will be some moments when either of them are self conscious even if the two of them don’t want to admit it. For GB I feel like he would be kind of awkward or panicky when trying to comfort someone but still trying his best. For MX it’s like he has some sort of power and is able to just soothe someone.

- GB is definitely very flirty around MX. It’s mostly out of genuine love or sometimes just to embarrass him. Either reason it definitely gets MX blushing at least a bit which he tries to hide from GB but GB will know even if MX tries to hide it. This causes him to tease MX slightly but it’s all in good heart with him. He’s happy around him and just wants to express it and this is how he chooses to do it. Sometimes he expresses through words or actions but mostly uses his words to express his love.

- In terms of when it comes to the pairs love language I personally think GB love language is quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation. As for MX his love language is also quality time as well as gift giving.

- As to why I think so for GB once again I mentioned this in my relationship hcs of him that he’s surprisingly clingy and this applies to his relationship with MX. He just needs to be in people’s spaces whether it’s in a romantic way e.g. hugging or a platonic way using it as an excuse just to be around someone. I also like to think that likes to hear that someone likes him. Sometimes it’s kind of an ego thing sometimes it’s a need of genuine reassurance that at least someone likes him. He can be a little self conscious sometimes though on a rare occasion.

- As for MX I feel like he can be a little awkward when it comes to things like physical touch. Although he does do it and doesn’t stop people from doing it. He just kind of responds by freezing and just letting the person do it. It isn’t out of trauma or anything that’s just how he reacts. So to make up for it he prefers gifting people. I can imagine him just spending it on GB getting gifts, buying things he knows will put a smile on his face.

- I like to think when MX is feeling in mood he just grabs onto GB and just carry him. Arguable GB is way shorter than MX so obviously theirs going to be a height advantage for MX. He also likes to tease GB about it as he holds a gentle grip on him and say how cute he looks in his hands which ends up making GB slightly sulky but MX kind of likes it when he does. The way GB just pouts at him just makes him look cuter to him.

- Ultimately they are that duo that nobody messes with but can see how loving the two of them can be together.

———————————

[kheprriverse]

Hello, me again! I just wanted to tell you how much I adore your stuff for Volga and dragons! It's making me want to get back into my own stuff for him and the dragons in my stuff.

Also, I was wondering: what's Volga's relationship with his parents? And if he had kids of his own one day, what would his relationship be like with them?

Loving, until they're old enough to be on their own? Do kids visit their parents or siblings on occasion?

You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I just love seeing people's ideas :)

My brain is alive right now lol

aaaaa hello!!! I'm so glad you like my Volga lore he's so fun to draw and mess with. You should definitely update me if you ever get back into your volga and dragons stuff 👀

-> previous post for context

This also gets long for the second question because brainrot so it will all be below the read more button👍

What's Volga's relationship with his parents?

His relationship with his parents, and the rest of his siblings, is actually not too bad. He and Ares do get to see them again and at first he seems wary when encountering Gargoyle, but that's actually more likely because he's afraid he won't be remembered. They were afraid him migrating when he was so small (being the runt of his clutch) would be too dangerous and were rather protective of him. But they taught him well and he talks and thinks about his parents with pride.

Also dragons rarely ever see family members after migrating. They live at the nest and are taught what they need to learn for a year before instinct drives them to leave. Sometimes it doesn't happen and they stay, and other times they may return, it's just not very common. Smolder and Gargoyle though have been around long enough and are strong enough where if dragons do visit it's never a problem like it'd normally be. They're kind of in a weird spot where they've never been challenged and aren't likely to ever be challenged. I wouldn't be surprised if anyone in the family did visit them often, I know the twins Blitz and Blaze do.

If he had kids of his own one day, what would his relationship be like with them?

I think about this too much tbh. I know for a fact he never actually planned to have any ever, primarily because he's perfectly fine being a loner-type and he already has enough to deal with with the gorons and lizardfolk, and then the hylian kingdom practically at his doorstep.

But then the idea of having any does get kinda complicated when you add the hylians into the mix. Because his territory is shared with Hyrule (him and Zelda are both so so stubborn) he's had to make a deal with Zelda that prevents other dragons from making their home in Hryule. He was perfectly fine with this originally (it was a spoken promise which dragons rarely break) because he not very social to begin with, let alone with other dragons. So he just figured he'd probably never have a mate, nor was he really into the idea anyways.

Until post-War of Eras. Scorn shows up suddenly, driven from her own territory across The Great Sea in need of a temporary nest after having been attacked by a hoard of wyverns. He is able to convince Zelda to let Scorn stay long enough to nest only because he knows her well enough to know she's not really interested in fighting anyone, let alone hylians.

When Scorn's eggs do hatch Volga makes sure to help her raise them, teaching them everything his own mentor taught him, along with everything their parents passed onto the siblings. He actually builds a rather healthy relationship with them as their uncle and is admittedly a little surprised when he realizes maybe having a family wouldn't be such a bad idea??? His niece, Harpy, probably ends up being his favorite lollll

But again sadly everything gets too complicated when his agreement with Zelda re-enters his brain. No extra dragons means no kids :( unless Ares convinces Zelda to change her mind.

I do like to think he'd be a lot like his parents though. Protective, but not overbearing. While Volga is aware of what causes dragon parents got abandon their hatchlings, he sees value and potential in them all a lot like his mother did for him. He'd give them all a chance.

I also think Ares made him rethink his perspective on relationships a lot more than he realized, especially after Scorn shows up as well.

Really hope this answered at least something. I tend to just ramble on until eventually something coherent comes out.

But a lot of the Scorn stuff I plan on actually showcasing eventually. Which also eventually leads into meeting Smolder and Gargoyle.

^ wip storyboard of Scorn after being attacked by Hylian soldiers.

[rosesnink]

Five Stages of Grief Series: Anger

Author's Notes

Yoohoo, guess who's hereee!!! Anyways, I missed writing for Blades, and I needed some training for certain events going on rn (which I haven't begun but shhh). I hope you guys like my vision of Imtura's rage and grief, and that if you want to be tagged in next parts, lmk!

English isn't my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakes

If you want more fics of Blades or even have our MCs interact, hmu!

There will be another part of the other three stages of grief which will include Mal, Tyril and Aerin (and a special one with Valax too hehe), if you want to be tagged in a LI's specific fic, tell me in the comments!

Likes are nice, but reblogs keeps a post alive and the fandom dynamic going!

Summary: Imtura Tal Kaelen doesn't want to learn how to live without her dearest friend.

Word Count: 1.7k

Category: Female rage, angst, death, group fallout

Pairing: Imtura Tal Kaelen & F!Orc!MC (friendship)

Rating: PG-13

TW: Alcohol abuse, violence, grief

Book: Blades of Light and Shadow

What the hells.

What the hells.

WHAT.

THE.

HELLS.

Those were Imtura’s very first thoughts upon Brienne, her dear friend, being abducted by a weird purple creature.

As Nia dropped to her knees, Imtura’s horror was instead replaced by anger. She was about to leap after her, but the vortex was already gone.

She let out a blood-curling grunt “Why didn’t any of you move?!”

“Not now, Immy…” Loola tried to calm her down.

As they took Nia to her chambers, her green fists whitened in her palm. Why were they fussing over the priestess?! Brienne needed them!

“That’s not fair, Imtura,” Tyril had pointed out when Imtura hollered that “we need to find her together, and she’s hurting. We all are.”

“Hurting why? Less hurting and more hunting down the bastard who took her and bring Brienne home!” She shouted.

“And where would we start, hm? We’ve no idea where she is, what took her, or where to start. Do you plan to barge into every place, axes blazing, and demand they hand Brienne over?” Mal tried to reason… to no avail.

“Why not?! It’s better than sitting our asses here and play a pity party!”

Tyril finally snapped in his usually fancy boy manner “Then you do it. We will find reasonable places where she’s been abducted and send you a message when we do find her.”

Imtura threw her hands up “Maybe I will!”

She left to her room, where she kicked the bed and screamed again, then started gathering the little she had packed from home. If one could call Flotilla home. As she turned around, Threep and Loola were perched on the desk, looking at her.

“I don’t have any treats for you. Tell the others I’m off to search for Brienne.”

“You really should not.”

“Loola’s right. Your plan can’t and won’t work. You need the others.” Imtura snorted “It’s true. You need Tyril’s knowledge and fighting skills, Mal’s cunning and Nia’s Light magic for you to survive on your own.”

Imtura seethed, but let the nespers say their piece “Threep has a point. Separated, the search will be a disaster, but together, you four can make it work.”

“Maybe. If Brienne were here to keep us together. Because she’s not here. The reason we put up with one another is because Brienne was here because…” she sighed, tears prickling in her eyes “because we all loved her enough to do that. And now she’s not here.”

Loola observed her “So you only loved Brienne? Only Brienne was your friend?”

“I—no! Yes! I don’t know! You’re confusing me!”

“Mal never made you laugh? Allowed you to let loose? Drank ale with you and shared adventuring stories?”

“Yes—,”

“Tyril never gave you sage advice and guided you through all of Morella? Kept you grounded and focused on the mission?”

“I mean, yes, but—,”

“And Nia never tended to your wounds, made you smile when all was dark and listened to you when you needed a willing and non-judging ear?”

Imtura’s shoulders slumped “…Yes. She did. They all did.”

Loola perched on her shoulder “Just because Brienne’s gone doesn’t mean that everything you went through with them didn’t matter or impact you. Yes, maybe you loved Brienne most, but you love all of them, and them you, and you can’t do this without them, just as they can’t do this without you. They need you, and you need them. They are your friends. Not for a long time, but for a very important time.”

Imtura softened and scratched Loola’s chin, who purred in response “Thank you, Loola, I… I think I needed to hear that.”

“And have some sense knocked into you.” Threep added.

“Don’t push it. But yes,” She smiled.

Dropping her bag, she went downstairs, to the library, where she knew they were, planning on rescuing Brienne. She sat down beside Mal and looked with renewed confidence and resolve at Tyril “What’s the plan?”

Tyril smiled briefly and nodded in gratitude to her “Whatever took her doesn’t look Morellan, so it’s safe to say we need to look outside its borders. We’ll begin with…”

Kade whispered in her ear “Brienne would be proud of you.”

She allowed herself a small smile.

She hoped she was.

For three months after Brienne’s disappearance, Imtura felt hopeful. Despite the dead ends and the pointless fighting that were responded with a sincere ‘we do not have or know where your friend is’, Imtura maintained hope. She wanted to. Because Brienne had always been a beacon of hope. Of resilience. Of persistence. She’d never give Imtura up, ever. And neither would she.

As they slept on the tent, Imtura smiled at herself thinking of the few, but precious time that Brienne and her shared a bed. She knew that she wasn’t Brienne’s type –she had noticed how elf boy and the priestess made eyes at her – but was alright with being a good shag and an understanding friend whom she could take the baggage she didn’t want to give anyone else. Besides, nobody was married off to nobody. There’d be plenty of time to figure out what each of them wanted.

“Hmmhh, Brienne…” Tyril mumbled.

Oh great, she thought, now elf boy’s pining for her in his dreams.

There was no jealousy or envy in her tone, but an amused and nostalgic sentiment. Brienne had also whispered Tyril’s name sometimes in her sleep. She sort of giggled when it sounded like they were recreating that one myth between the she-orc and the elf who had such a good shag, the fancy elf needed bed-rest for days. She teased Brienne endlessly for it, and they both had a laugh about it.

Six months. Six bloody months, and still no sign of her. Not a single trace. As if Earth had swallowed her.

Maybe earth did swallow her, an intrusive voice of hers mused.

Shaking her head, she continued talking and trying to be cheered by Mal. They still had a laugh, but with the void of Brienne being so present between them, sometimes it felt hard to do. She missed how she looked back at them and shook her head, laughing to herself.

Walking forward, she reached Mal, who was oddly quiet “Do you think this is it? That, this time, we’ll find her?”

Mal sighed “I hope so. I want it to be.”

Imtura’s face fell “But you don’t believe it is.”

He looked at her with a tired, pained look “I’m trying to, Immy.”

She patted his shoulder “…I am too.”

On the eighth month, she got fed up. The anger she felt back then was back, and this time, there weren’t any wisdom nespers who could convince her. She was dead in a ditch to never be found, and they were all loosing time.

“Alright, elephant in the room, I’ll address it: Bree’s gone, probably dead in a ditch and we’re running, hic, circles.”

Tyril seemed to sigh, but with her blurry vision due to the obscene amount of alcohol she had drank, she couldn’t see much. But the image of Brienne in an unmarked grave was there, alright.

“… would’ve known. Tragic news travels fast. …would’ve found her.”

“She’s not… would’ve found her.”

“And how come nobody in the continent have heard, hmm? Easy, she’s dead and all of this for nothing.”

Mal got up angrily “… don’t get to disregard Brienne’s life…”

She could hardly hear it. There was only one thought in mind. She was dead, and there wasn’t anything else to do.

“Brienne wouldn’t want us to waste our time with her death. So why delay it?” She barked, easily sizing up short Mal.

“… not dead.” Nia said.

She pointed a wobbly finger at her “You don’t know that, because, flash news, the heart and soul thing is bullshit! She’s dead, she’s not coming back and it’s time we own it.”

Elf boy, who had been awfully quiet, also got up and slammed his large hands in the desk “…so keen on burying her alive… carry on… true friends…”

“Fine!” She blurted out.

Then, she got up and left, hot, angry tears in her eyes.

She walked, and walked, and walked, and walked until her feet gave over, and she threw up the alcohol previously ingested in concerning amounts. Gasping for air, she leaned against what it seemed like solid rock, and allowed her large body to collapse.

When she woke up, she realized that her axes were gone, as well as her coin and part of her armor. Grunting, still with her head throbbing, went to the nearest pub. She could hear “Bloody hell, who wants ale at three? These drunks… Oh wow, that one looks like hell.”

“Hey. I, uh, slept outside last night and my weapons and purse are gone.”

“And what do you want us to do about that, hm, orc?”

She realized, she was far away from home, with next to no money or way to contact her mother or friends. Idiot, she thought.

“A… job would be nice?”

“I’ve enough barmaids, and you ain’t lovely enough to fire the others. Seems like ye can’t cook either, those hands ain’t for the kitchen.”

“I… can fight. I used to be in… Clan Nagoni! Fierce fighters, gave Ventral Tal Kaelen a good shake before going down.”

The barkeeper hummed, looking at her up and down. She probably smelled like vomit, cheap ale and had her clothes ragged and dirty.

“Let’s do one thing, she-orc. If ye take care of a certain customer who won’t pay his beers with a scare, you’re in as our source of entertainment.”

“Just tell me who you want dead,”

And thus, for the rest of the year, she worked at that bar, fighting all sorts of creatures, always trouncing one after another. And she liked that routine. She drank. Then, she fought, won and drank even more as people sung her praises. Sometimes, she could see glimpses of Nia and Mal, and even elf boy, but the only clear image was of Brienne, her dearest friend, dead on a ditch, with nobody to visit her grave or take her back to the Elements. As she gulped another horn of ale, she wiped with her arm the foam and lunged at the strange beast, ready to take out some anger and take off such grotesque image of a dead Brienne that chased her at night most.