#anyway gonna go back to my hole now see you at the weekend love u | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Note

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

#eren yeager x reader #bully eren yeager #toxic eren #eren yeager x you #yandere eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren x fem!reader #eren yeager x reader fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #dubcon tw #tw noncon #tw abuse #tw drinking #tw drunk driving #eren yeager fanfiction #dark content #dark fic #tw trauma #tw depr

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asthmark · 4 years

Text

❝ chemistry ❞ o.st

synopsis → osaki shotaro moving to town means trips to the dance studio, boba dates, and the perpetual teasing of lee donghyuck.

pairing → shotaro, reader

requested? → yes! based off @onlyjihoons’s shipping game answer ♡

word count → 5.5k (this was supposed to be 1k.... goodbye.)

a/n → i enjoy writing texting scenes WAY too much ;; tbh this is like 50% texts im cryign but i had to convey how much i love 00 line .... and also how firmly i believe in lee donghyuck devil supremacy. as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and enjoy!

if someone were to ask you how you felt about your friends, you would without any hesitation, answer that you loved them to death. of course, if you were being completely honest, you would also have to add that you experienced the urge to strangle them from time to time. that might earn you a couple odd stares but you’re sure people would be more understanding if they knew who was in your inner circle to begin with.

for starters, there was lee jeno — tall, handsome, and the textbook definition of a gentleman. then, na jaemin, who you would consider to be the yin to jeno’s yang. an extremely energetic guy and, in your book, a total freak of nature ever since you found out that he inhales four shots of espresso on the daily. liu yangyang was a more recent addition to your group but, being as quick-witted as he was, he quickly fit right in. he also had a habit of going on somewhat aggressive rants in german which renjun found to be extremely amusing. speaking of, huang renjun was another one of your close friends — the shortest of the group, actually. (and, much to renjun’s dismay, that’s exactly how donghyuck liked to introduce him to people.) he was the type of guy you could trust to keep everyone in check which consequently made you mildly terrified of him.

however, it could never compare to the perpetual fear you have of lee donghyuck.

of course, you love him to pieces but sometimes you really wish he didn’t find so much joy in, well, making everyone miserable. you couldn’t deny it was funny to watch him tease and taunt your other friends. you still remember him purposefully messing up renjun’s game at the local arcade just when he was about to reach his high score — and also the way renjun had tackled him to the floor right then and there, resulting in the six of you being banned from the place. or, that time he offered to pay for everyone’s starbucks orders only to tell the barista that jaemin’s name was ben dover. (to no one’s surprise, yangyang had found that joke particularly hilarious.) you can also clearly recall how hard you had laughed in both of those situations.

but, donghyuck never let anyone laugh for too long.

according to him it was ’only fair’ to make sure each of his friends was at the receiving end of his gags. so, despite laughing at his latest victim’s expense, each of you knew that donghyuck would make sure you were in the same position sooner or later.

you definitely weren’t expecting it to be your turn one dull friday evening.

things are going slow for you as you sit at your desk, typing away on your laptop. school has been out for hours and your professors have decided to be saints and leave you little homework for the weekend. beside you, your phone dings, alerting you of the new text message in your group chat.

[4:23 pm] hyuck: i’m bored 🥺

[4:23 pm] you: plz never use that emoji again

[4:24 pm] nana: it’s misleading dude

[4:25 pm] yangx2: yeah like when have u ever made a face that isn’t this 😈

[4:25 pm] renjun: donghyuck is the devil = confirmed

[4:25 pm] nana: CALLED IT

[4:26 pm] hyuck: u guys are literally so evil

jeno laughed at “u guys are literally so evil”

[4:27 pm] jeno: look who’s talking lol

[4:27 pm] you: dangg u know it’s bad when lee jeno disses u

[4:28 pm] jeno: ...ngl it kinda feels like ur shading me rn

[4:28 pm] you: u would be correct :)

[4:29 pm] hyuck: um HELLO can u guys go back to paying attention to me???

[4:29 pm] renjun: what do u want, diva?

[4:29 pm] hyuck: i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(

renjun disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

yangx2 disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

you disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

nana disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

jeno disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

[4:30 pm] hyuck: OH COME ON

[4:30 pm] yangx2: i think what u meant to say is that u wanna make one of us very miserable today, right?

[4:30 pm] hyuck: .....no comment

nana renamed the group chat “hyuck hate club”

[4:31 pm] hyuck: ok i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[4:31 pm] jeno: well now u know what it’s like to be friends with u

[4:31 pm] you: so true king omg ur on a roll

[4:32 pm] hyuck: hmm okay so either jeno or y/n is gonna be today’s target, got it

[4:32 pm] hyuck: anyway can u guys come down to the dance studio now??

[4:32 pm] you: what makes u think i would go anywhere near u when i know ur plotting ur revenge on me as we speak

[4:32 pm] hyuck: because maybe i’ll have mercy on u and just terrorize jeno instead

[4:33 pm] you: good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!

[4:33 pm] jeno: HEY

nana laughed at “good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!”

[4:34 pm] yangx2: u literally cannot trust anyone in this friend group

[4:34 pm] renjun: ikr isn’t it great???

you might have been slightly out of your mind to willingly go see donghyuck knowing you had teased him in your group chat earlier. although, if there was a slight chance he would show you mercy if you did hang out with him, you were going to take it.

the studio was where you had first met donghyuck, along with the rest of your friends due to the dance classes you attended. after bumping into each in between classes and during practice, you began to get well acquainted. turns out, the six of you actually got along incredibly well and after a while, you began to share routines and tips, even choreographing together from time to time. obviously, this led to the infamous group chat being formed and lots of time spent outside the studio as well.

but, none of you had lost that love for dancing. in fact, forming your little clique had only made it grow. as you opened the front doors of the building you had made so many memories in, you wondered if donghyuck wanted your insight on a certain routine or needed some help choreographing. of course, there was also the possibility that he really was just bored and wanted you to suffer with him.

what you did not expect, however, was to see him caught up in conversation with another person. you couldn’t clearly see them with donghyuck in the way; all you knew for certain was that your best friend’s mouth was moving a mile a minute. you tentatively tiptoe into the room, hoping to not intrude on their discussion. but, at hearing the doors creak open, donghyuck puts his rant on pause to enthusiastically wave you over.

you sigh, putting your belongings down and approaching the pair. as you near, you notice that hyuck has a huge smile — no, smirk — on his face. you internally curse yourself for believing that he would ever pass up an opportunity to torment you, especially in front of a stranger.

“this is a very dear friend of mine,” you hear him introduce to his acquaintance. “her name is y/n. she dances, too.”

“oh, that’s really cool!”

the stranger’s unusually cheery tone prompts you to finally peek behind donghyuck and put a face to the voice.

and what a face he has.

“this is shotaro,” donghyuck informs you. “he’s new to town and quite the dancer. caught him in the middle of a routine.”

your knees almost wobble as you take in the stranger — shotaro’s — kind eyes that almost sparkle. (you aren’t sure if it’s because of the fluorescent lights of the studio or just part of his charm.) his lips are curved up into a friendly smile that makes you feel slightly giddy. his hair falls into his face almost perfectly, not a strand out of place and you’re uncertain as to how that’s even possible since, as donghyuck had said, he was dancing. not to mention, there’s not a bead of sweat on his face. did this guy come straight out of a disney movie or something?

“excuse her,” donghyuck chuckles. “good looking people tend to make her freeze up. don’t worry, this happened when she met me, too.”

you offer your friend a glare and an elbow to the side and you swear you hear shotaro chuckle. you turn to him instead, putting on a welcoming smile.

“my bad, i just—”

“got lost in his eyes?”

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “donghyuck, please don’t make me have to attack you in front of our guest.”

more giggles escape shotaro. (you swear it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard.) you curiously tilt your head at him.

“sorry, it’s just that, you guys are too funny,” he admits with a sheepish smile.

you mirror his grin, slightly relieved he was amused instead of weirded out. “yeah, well, just wait ’til you meet the rest of us. it’s like a circus show, you’ll love it.”

“hello, clowns!”

“speak of the devil,” donghyuck murmurs, watching as yangyang and renjun enter, followed by jeno and jaemin.

“woah, who’s the cutie?” yangyang asks renjun, in what you presume he thinks is a whisper. however, yangyang has never spoken quietly a day in his life. renjun simply shrugs at his question.

having clearly heard the compliment, a faint blush creeps onto shotaro’s cheeks.

“guys, this is shotaro,” donghyuck answers, tugging the sandy blonde forward.

he gives a somewhat shy wave. “hi, y/n’s friends.”

jaemin erupts into laughter. “uh oh, looks like he likes y/n more than hyuck.”

“don’t blame him,” jeno mutters.

shotaro’s forehead creases, face suddenly twisted in worry. “oh, i’m sorry, was i not supposed to say that?”

“oh no, don’t worry,” donghyuck denies, quickly. “i’m sure y/n doesn’t mind at all, right?”

if you could crawl into a hole to avoid the embarrassment, you would. of course, donghyuck was 100% right; you really didn’t mind shotaro calling the group that if it meant you could hear him say your name over and over again. in fact, his sweet voice could probably make the dictionary sound like the most addictive song. but, donghyuck had no right putting you on the spot like that.

jeno suddenly speaks, catching on to your flustered state and donghyuck’s evil grin. “so, it’s y/n’s turn today? sweet, i’m off the hook!”

shotaro furrows his brows slightly. “huh?”

“oh, it’s just an inside joke,” jeno says, smile reaching all the way up to his eyes.

you wish you could strangle him right then and there for finding amusement at your expense but the last thing you want is for shotaro to think you’re some sort of psychopath. (although, with a friend group like this, you’re definitely beginning to think that’s where you’re headed.)

“got it,” shotaro responds, breaking out into a grin himself. “you guys seem like a really close bunch!”

“the closest,” donghyuck corrects, overly sweet, as he wraps an arm around you. (you resist the urge to shove him off.) “you’ll fit right in!”

you believed that the torture was over the day donghyuck introduced shotaro to your group. you would probably just see him from time to time and the studio (hopefully without hyuck around) and it would all be downhill from there, right? the latest notification on your phone alerts you that you are absolutely wrong.

hyuck has added one (1) user to the group chat

[1:05 pm] hyuck: welcome shotaro!!

[1:06 pm] unknown: oh hey guys! :]

the emoticon almost makes your heart beat right out of your chest. you roll your eyes in frustration at how easily affected you were by this guy. seriously, why did everything he do have to be so cute? regardless, you quickly add his number to your contacts.

[1:06 pm] hyuck: why don’t we do a little roll call so shotaro can save ur numbers to his phone

[1:07 pm] yangx2: YANGYANG

[1:07 pm] yangx2: HA I WAS FIRST

[1:07 pm] jeno: ...

[1:08 pm] jeno: anyway this is jeno :)

[1:08 pm] nana: jaemin present!

[1:08 pm] renjun: hi shotaro, this is renjun

[1:10 pm] shotaro: haha cool thanks a lot, i just saved all ur numbers!

[1:10 pm] shotaro: but quick question, is y/n in this group chat? :0

you almost drop your phone at reading shotaro’s message although you’re unsure why. he just typed your name, get it together, you urge yourself.

[1:11 pm] you: heyy shotaro! i’m right here :)

[1:11 pm] shotaro: oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^

hyuck disliked “oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^”

[1:12 pm] hyuck: shotaro plz return my love what does she have that i don’t T-T

[1:12 pm] nana: a heart

[1:12 pm] yangx2: a brain

[1:12 pm] jeno: a conscience

[1:12 pm] renjun: a functioning moral compass

[1:13 pm] hyuck: wtf

[1:13 pm] shotaro: ahahaha it’s like i’m watching a comedy

[1:14 pm] you: told u it’s a circus

[1:14 pm] you: i say get out while u still can

[1:14 pm] shotaro: whaatt and leave u behind? no way!

nana renamed the group chat “shotaro x y/n supremacists”

[1:15 pm] jeno: my thoughts exactly

[1:15 pm] renjun: took the words right out of my mouth

you cringe at your friends’ blunt behavior, praying shotaro didn’t find their antics to be too strange.

[1:16 pm] shotaro: 😳

[1:16 pm] nana: aww someone’s shy

[1:17 pm] renjun: he wouldn’t last a day in itzy

[1:17 pm] yangx2: HELPP

you shake your head, laughing silently to yourself as you mute the group chat and place your phone back down. although, moments later, you receive a direct message. you presume it’s one of the boys trying to rope you back into the chat but the moment you see the contact name, you’re forced to do a double take.

[1:21 pm] shotaro: i hope i’m not bothering u but i just wanted to make sure ur okay .. you kinda went quiet in the gc :>

[1:21 pm] shotaro: it’s shotaro from the dance studio btw!

you can’t help but find the fact that he seriously thought you wouldn’t remember him adorable. how could you ever forget a face like his?

[1:22 pm] you: that’s so kind! i’m okay, i promise. i’ve just had to put up with those dorks for way too long, sometimes i just ignore them haha

[1:22 pm] shotaro: lol yeah they do seem like a handful! but i look forward to getting to know them better!!

[1:23 pm] shotaro: and u too ofc~~

it takes all your willpower not to spam dozens of heart emojis in an attempt to show shotaro just how he has reduced you to a lovesick fool. instead, your response is short and sweet.

[1:23 pm] you: right back at u, taro! ♡

“okay, take five,” donghyuck pants, pausing the music blaring from the speakers.

you gladly obey, wiping away the light sweat you had worked up from the latest routine you and hyuck were constructing.

you both belonged to the same dance class and frequently paired together for partnered projects. the rest of your friends attended different classes, which you constantly joked was for the best since there was no way one dance instructor could possibly handle the six of you together.

“how do you feel?” donghyuck asks you, running a hand through his tousled hair.

“the choreo’s great, i’m proud of what we got so far,” you reply. “of course, i would be happier if i didn’t have to get so up close and personal with you.”

donghyuck scoffs at your joke. “i can’t do anything about that. the teacher said the whole concept of the routine is supposed to be is intimate.”

you fake a gag, failing to contain a laugh when hyuck playfully shoves you in offense.

“i’m sorry i can’t be shotaro,” he adds, a smirk forming on his lips.

you roll your eyes. “oh, very funny.”

“c’mon, you’re acting like you wouldn’t kill to have him as your partner, especially with choreo as spicy as this.”

“well, it would beat being paired with you,” you remark, picking up your water bottle and taking a swig.

“hm, then looks like today might be your lucky day,” donghyuck replies, eyes trained somewhere behind you.

you follow his gaze, nearly choking on your water as soon as you catch sight of shotaro entering the studio. he meets your eyes, plucking out his earbuds and offering you a small wave.

“oh, hey guys!” he exclaims, cheerfully.

“hey ’taro,” you greet, rather quickly, earning you a knowing glance from your partner.

“’taro?” hyuck repeats, amused, as he folds his arms over his chest. “you guys are already on cute nickname basis?”

shotaro giggles, eyes squinting adorably as he does so. “it is a pretty adorable nickname, right? she’s the only one who calls me that!”

your heart beats faster when you see how oddly excited that seems to make him. did he somehow find it endearing?

“seems like the two of you are becoming quite close, hm?” continues hyuck.

shotaro nods enthusiastically before glancing at you tentatively, as if to check for confirmation.

“yeah, you could say that.”

your agreement causes yet another smile to grace shotaro’s lips — this time he seems relieved. you briefly wonder if the kid ever stops flashing those pearly whites of his. you certainly hope so, or else your heart may never catch a break.

“well, since you’re comfortable enough with each other,” donghyuck begins, flashing you a grin.

you’re not even sure what he’s gonna say but you already feel the need to put an end to it. after all, nothing good has ever come of donghyuck’s mischievous grins. you subtly purse your lips and narrow your eyes in an attempt to get him to stop whatever chaos he’s planning to ensue.

nevertheless, he proceeds. “maybe you could help me out with this choreography?”

you want to facepalm at donghyuck’s lame excuse of a lie. however, on the other hand, shotaro’s face lights up in delight.

“you’re working on choreo? what for?” he inquires, curiously.

“for our dance class,” hyuck explains, motioning towards you. “i have a couple ideas so i was thinking you two could maybe try out some steps i’m planning to include. you know, to help me... visualize.”

“that sounds awesome,” shotaro responds, oblivious to your friend’s untruths. “i would love to help you guys out.”

“great!” donghyuck claps his hands together. “just a heads up, the theme of the routine is intimacy, so i wanna see all that charm of yours, shotaro. it’ll, uh, help me choreograph.”

you cringe at the obvious fib. meanwhile, it’s as if a switch has gone off in shotaro’s mind. his smile fades and his eyebrows knit together. “hold on, i-intimacy? does that mean—”

“that you’ll have to get a bit touchy-feely with her? yeah,” donghyuck interjects, innocently.

“y’know... i’ve really been wanting to dance with her.” he faces you, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “just never thought it would be like this.”

you offer him an apologetic smile. “i know, it might be a bit... uncomfortable. you can back out if you’d like. i promise hyuck and i won’t mind.”

shotaro’s head shakes, vigorously. “no, of course not!” he must realize how quick he was to deny your offer, making him suspiciously eager to be close to you as he immediately adds, “i mean, it’s good practice.”

you suppress a giggle. “sure thing. hyuck, should we get started now?”

the boy in question dramatically picks at his nails, acting as if he had been waiting on you both for hours. “if you guys are done flirting, then, yeah.”

you roll your eyes, shooting shotaro a mildly annoyed stare. he grins, finding it to be equally amusing as it is endearing. (what can he say, the faint pout that appeared on your face was cute.)

“shotaro, how about you get in position right behind her.”

shotaro obeys, making sure to leave a significant amount of space between the two of you. however, donghyuck doesn’t seem to approve.

“closer!” he commands. “the concept is intimacy, not social distancing!”

shotaro shuffles forward, pressing his front into your back. you can’t help but notice how firmly toned his chest is. curse his dancers body, you think.

“okay, now, lemme see your hands on her waist!”

you feel the breath of shotaro’s shaky exhale on the back of your neck as he obeys, sliding apprehensive hands around your midsection. there’s silence on donghyuck’s end and through the mirror you watch him observe the two of you, no doubt acting way more pensive than he truly is. you know he’s just prolonging your flustered state by keeping you in this intimate position with the younger boy.

although, shotaro himself might know it too, considering the fact that he begins to rub comforting circles into your sides that he’s currently gripping, as per donghyuck’s request, in an attempt to calm you down. you nearly melt right then and there. at the same time, you hope he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

donghyuck calls out your name, successfully startling you and putting an end to the peaceful atmosphere. “why don’t you go ahead and lean on his shoulder. just lay your head back nice and easy— good, very good! look at that chemistry!”

if you’re being sincere, reclining on shotaro feels way more natural and enjoyable than it should. he steadily holds you in place, almost as if he secretly wishes to never let go. you wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea either.

“alright, last thing, guys! y/n, how about you hook your arm around shotaro’s neck?”

you do so, fingers brushing softly against his jaw. he shivers beneath your touch, erupting into giggles when you shoot him an odd stare.

“i’m ticklish,” he confesses, in a whisper.

you can’t help but smile widely. “is that so? hm, i might have to exploit that information sooner or later.”

“as long as donghyuck doesn’t find out,” he replies.

his comment certainly gets a chuckle out of you. “did you finally realize how evil he is?”

“if the torture he’s putting you through right now is anything to go by, then absolutely.”

“only a matter of time before it’s your turn,” you reply. you lean into his ear to add, “by the way, this is anything but torture for me.”

“hey! no whispering!” donghyuck reprimands.

for the first time, shotaro goes against the older boy’s orders to whisper back, “it’s mutual. if anything, i think this is the best thing i’ve done since i moved here.”

your heart melts at the sincere admission. you stare at shotaro in what you’re sure is a very obvious case of heart eyes. you’re taken aback to find that he, too, returns the lovesick look. perhaps he was immersing himself a bit too much in the intimacy concept...

“stop! pause! cut!”

you and shotaro (reluctantly) untangle yourselves from each other to face a seemingly unhappy donghyuck.

“can you guys please just focus on my instructions without falling in love with each other?” he pleads. “i mean, you haven’t even gotten out of the starting position yet.” he groans, exasperated. “actually, you know what, just take five.”

[2:03 pm] hyuck: good morning

[2:03 pm] nana: it’s 2 o clock in the afternoon but ok

[2:03 pm] hyuck: i just woke up, therefore it’s morning

[2:03 pm] shotaro: good morning :3 did u sleep well?

[2:04 pm] hyuck: i slept a wonderful 27 hours, thnx for asking!

[2:04 pm] yangx2: ?????? THERES NOT EVEN 27 HOURS IN A DAY IM SCREAMING

[2:04 pm] you: LOLLL WHY WAS HE HIBERNATING

[2:05 pm] renjun: i was just gonna ignore him but i am genuinely concerned now

[2:05 pm] shotaro: woww,, well at least you’re well rested now! :]

[2:04 pm] nana: shotaro, i am begging u not to encourage him

[2:04 pm] you: all it takes is one (1) supportive person and he becomes an unstoppable force of evil

[2:04 pm] shotaro: o_0

[2:05 pm] jeno: besides ur like the only other person here with common sense besides myself and maybe renjun. i can’t lose u to donghyuck :(

[2:05 pm] renjun: ykw i’m not even gonna argue with that

[2:05 pm] yangx2: yeah shotaro is a good guy™

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i hate u guys and ur goldfish attention spans

[2:06 pm] you: sigh what do you need hyuck?

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i want boba :(

[2:07 pm] you: that actually sounds really good but idk if it’s worth being around u

[2:07 pm] hyuck: i’ll pretend like u didn’t just say that <3 what if i paid?

[2:07 pm] you: ....

[2:08 pm] yangx2: LMAO HYUCK BEING NICE IS SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

[2:08 pm] renjun: ikr it’s making me super uncomfortable rn

[2:08 pm] hyuck: can’t i do something nice for my friends? :/

[2:08 pm] jeno: no

[2:09 pm] nana: nope

[2:09 pm] yangx2: nah

[2:09 pm] renjun: absolutely not

[2:09 pm] you: never seen it happen before so no

[2:10 pm] hyuck: u guys are so fake :( shotaro do u wanna hang out with me? if u say no i’ll scream :)

[2:11 pm] shotaro: yeah i guess i could :]

[2:11 pm] renjun: oh this just got interesting.. i guess i could tag along

[2:11 pm] yangx2: me too, i gotta be there to record whatever happens

[2:12 pm] nana: i’m in

[2:12 pm] jeno: same

[2:12 pm] you: hhhhh okay fine.. only to ensure taro’s safety

[2:13 pm] shotaro: (^з^)-︎♡

due to the fact that you believed donghyuck was going to try and officially initiate shotaro into your friend group with one of his infamous pranks, you decided to head to the boba shop. you hoped that if you showed up, you would be able to prevent whatever mayhem he had planned or at the very least, provide some damage control.

you pushed open the door to the quaint building, the bell dinging to announce your arrival. your eyes immediately lock onto the table in the far back since it was where you and your friends always sat — you had practically claimed it. you expect to see all the chairs filled but, to your surprise, only one person occupies the space.

osaki shotaro.

he beams, probably relieved to finally have some company in the otherwise empty shop. (after all, you weren’t sure how long he had been sitting there all alone.) nevertheless, you allow yourself to wonder — just for a second — if maybe he was just that ecstatic to see you. the way he enthusiastically waves you over seems to be in favor of that theory. it’s almost confirmed when you reach he table and he pats the chair beside him.

you let out a soft laugh. “the whole table’s empty, ‘taro.”

“i know,” he admits. “i just really want you to sit next to me.”

you swear you could break down in tears simply from the way he’s looking at you; like you’re all he needs. it’s pure adoration. you wonder if that’s how you look at him too. you can’t help but ask yourself if he, too, notices your longing stares.

you decide that you would be a monster if you denied shotaro his wish, so, you internally prepare yourself to sit next to possibly the sweetest boy you’ve ever known. yet, that proves to be difficult as said boy stands up to pull out your chair like the gentleman he is. you shoot him a grateful smile, mentally dethroning jeno as the most well-mannered person you know and passing the crown on to shotaro.

“so, how long have you been waiting for?” you ask, resting your elbow on the table and leaning into your palm to stare attentively at the boy to your right.

“actually, i only got here a couple minutes before you. we did agree to meet up here a quarter before three, right?” he asks, slightly confused.

you nod in confirmation. “honestly, i think we got set up.”

shotaro tilts his head. “really? why would they do that?”

“might have something to do with our ‘chemistry’,” you explain, quoting donghyuck.

the japanese boy’s mouth falls agape, as he comes to the realization. “oh, so they literally set us up.”

“mhm,” you agree, smiling ever so slightly.

shotaro must be paying closer attention than you thought because he picks up on your grin. “what’s with the smile?”

you shrug, feigning uncertainty. “i guess i just don’t feel so bad about being set up if it’s with a certain cutie i know.”

“oh?” he raises a brow, cheeks growing as he too mirrors your lovestruck look. “should i be worried about this guy?”

“certainly not,” you reassure him. “i’ve only got eyes for one.”

you see a faded tint of pink rush to his cheeks and you find it adorable how your confession flusters him. you can’t help but caress the supple skin as gently as possible. shotaro leans into your touch, his own hand coming up to cup your own, almost as if he were holding you in place. after a couple moments of basking in the intimate moment, you retract your hand.

“maybe we should try and get hyuck to include that in the choreo, huh?” you suggest, a teasing smile on your lips.

shotaro chuckles, “sounds good to me. i might even ask if i can fill his position, too. if not, i just might get jealous.”

you playfully shove him and he raises his hands in surrender. you chuckle, grabbing one of the menus that litter the table, planning to offer shotaro some help choosing an item from the list that is surely unfamiliar to him but it seems something outside the window behind you has caught his focus instead.

“looks like we have an audience.”

you take a deep breath at his words, preparing yourself for whatever it is you’re going to see upon turning around. when you finally do, all you manage to catch is five heads ducking beneath the windowsill, in a weak attempt to not get caught.

“of course,” you nearly laugh. “they’re so predictable.”

shotaro seems to find the situation humorous as well, if his amused tone is anything to go by. “to be honest, we should be thanking them. they got us together.”

“oh, so we’re together now?” you inquire, raising a brow.

“w-well, i mean, if you want to. i-i definitely want to.”

“no need for stuttering,” you reassure him, reaching over to stroke that one ticklish spot on his neck. “to quote a very wise — and handsome — young man, ‘it’s mutual.’”

he smiles at his own words being recited to him. “i don’t know about you, but i think we should seal the deal.”

“interesting. how do you suppose we do that?” you ask with faux curiosity. you certainly had some ideas of your own.

“maybe... a kiss?” shotaro leans forward, eyes closed expectantly as he taps his cheek. you resist the urge to pinch his lovely, round baby cheeks. he peeks one eye open to add, “for the audience, of course.”

you giggle, completely and utterly love-struck by the boy before you. in fact, you are so enamored by him that you decide to go the extra mile and press a sweet, chaste peck to his lips.

it seems as if he himself didn’t expect it as his eyes snap open, hand coming up to cup his lips in shock. when he finally uncovers his mouth, you see there’s a dazed, giddy grin on his face that let’s you know the smooch was very welcome pleasant surprise.

your phones simultaneously go off, alerting you of incoming messages. it’s a given that it’s none other than the group chat.

[3:15 pm] nana: that smooch was romcom worthy i’m so impressed right now

[3:15 pm] jeno: shotaro is living proof that being a gentleman has its perks! everyone in this gc should take notes!

[3:15 pm] yangx2: HERE IHAVE THE VDIEO OF THE WHOELE THIGN IF ANYOEN WANTS IT

[3:16 pm] yangx2: attachment: 1 video

[3:16 pm] yangx2: SORURY FOR THE TYPSO MY TEARS ARE BLURRIGN THE KYEBIOARD

[3:16 pm] renjun: can we get boba now?

[3:16 pm] renjun: oh wait my bad, congrats to the new couple :-)

[3:16 pm] renjun: to celebrate they should pay for everyone’s drinks.. just a thought

[3:17 pm] hyuck: ur welcome, y/n and shotaro ;)

415 notes · View notes

pepperpills · 3 years

Note

karl caught s/o masturbating

jeez, i got so excited for my first request that i may have made it a bit too long hehe hope u enjoy it

once it is said "s/o", i chose to do it karl x female reader because it is easier for me, but i'm sorry if that is not what you wanted .-.

here it is (needless to say it has NSFW content, so kids, skip this one):

Saturday Surprise

It was still Saturday. Usually, it would make you happy, because that meant you would have some time alone with Karl, he would take a break from work and his obsessions just to find himself cuddling your hair as you two watched one of the marvellous Romanian sunsets on the factory’s ceiling. But not this Saturday. He was gone for the weekend for “fixing those bastards, kitten” he said when he told a gloomy you about his soon-to-happen absence.

He left on Friday morning after a snoring heavy sleep due to the tiredness you gave him with your goodbye. Heisenberg kissed you on the forehead and told you he wouldn’t be long, but any time away from him felt like eternity to you.

You wandered the factory corridors – the ones you found safe -, ended up in a room full of his records and played a little music, dancing alone. It wasn’t bad, but at night, when you laid on that queen sized bed, oppressed by that sea of pillows unused, you missed him hard and could only fall asleep after putting on one of his explorer’s-like shirts. It has his smell all over it: metal, burned wood and a bit of oil too. It was infinitely reassuring and made you sleep tight.

The thing is, when you woke up on that lazy Saturday, not much later than the sun, lycans’ roars and crows’ croaks, that scent had you, well… wet, as if you had wet dreams with Karl, and maybe you had. The scent was like waking up to him, and as you wake up, you close your eyes and imagine him hugging you, sleepy mumbling into your hair, holding you to that position, trying to convince you to go back to sleep; you knew, on days like that, you would have to convince him to get up, he would hold you even tighter, let out low curses, harmless ones, and when he was lastly wakeful, he would attack you with tickles and fondness.

You snort in frustration and get up. A heavy breakfast would drive your mind away from it, you think. Anyways, you just have to hold it until he is back as you knew how teased he gets when you have a little fun without him. On your way to the kitchen, though, something else attracts your attention. His office door is opened. It wasn’t a secret, you could come in and out as you wished, just making sure not to disturb him on his work, but you never really pocked around there as he was always nearby. And there it is: a unique opportunity.

You sneak into the room as if you had bad intentions, you even imagine a cartoonish version of yourself rubbing hands, maliciously smiling at nothing in particular. His office has some filing cupboards on a wall, where you find nothing but his journals, notes on tests he applied and pictures of his experiments, some of its drawers have junk too and it is more or less disorganized. The right part of the office has a surgery bed and some tools, as you are not really interested in that, you don’t take a closer look.

Instead, you go directly to his chair. It is one of these quilted black director’s chairs with a tall backrest. There is a small, mahogany chest on the table in front of it, along with some minor metal parts, a lamp and some papers. You try to open it, but it is locked. You sigh, imagining what is inside. Maybe a gift? You wonder. Anyways, that morning laziness starts to get to you again and you feel comfortable in his chair. You close your eyes and can’t help yourself, but to remember all those memories of you two having fun in that exact spot. It arouses you instantly.

You were already wet, but now you are desperately needy. You recall getting on your knees one night when he refused to go to bed, even though he was restless, so, to convince him, you started kissing his waist line, going down, slowly, touching his strong, thick thighs, his moans like opera to your ears. Your hand slips into your pantie, automatically starting to stimulate your clit with your pussy soaked. You moan imagining it was his firm scarred hand rubbing you roughly, trying his best to satisfy you intensely on his steadfast manner.

You picture him coming from behind the chair, he touches your shoulders, put a little pressure on them, then let his fingers reach your breast through his shirt you are wearing, playing with your already hard nipples. You let low moans out, getting more and more turned on with that thought.

“Karl…” You whisper in pleasure.

“Yes?” A leonine voice responds from the door.

You open your eyes on a rush, turning fast to look a savage Heisenberg in the eye. He is framed by the door frame, looking like a man who just finished a mission, a hard day of work, but still has the energy. He still has his glasses on and is holding his hammer.

He walks in, saying nothing, which disturbs you deeply. He lays his hammer on the wall by the door and walks towards you. You can see his annoyed eyes because of the angle, he is too close, staring down at you.

“Having fun, ain’t you?” He asks, maliciously. “Hope you left enough for me.” Karl, then, smiles, not a sympathy smile, but a vicious one, one that tells you he will have you until the last drop of cum drains from him.

“Karl… I’m sorry. I’m gonna make it up to you.” You promise, almost on your knees.

“Oh, I bet you will.” He tells you. “Lean on the table.” It is an order.

You don’t have enough time to be confused, you don’t care anyway, your heart is beating fast, both because of fear and lust. You do as he says, leaning on the table so he has a privileged view of your butt. He spanks it one, two, three times, making you scream, getting even wetter than before.

“Tell me how much you like it, kitten.” He whispers fiercely in your ear.

“I-I love it, Karl, please…” You say in between moans as his hand grips your butt firmly.

His fingers touch your skin down the pantie, never penetrating your pussy, just messing around with your juice, pressing your butthole, entering just a little. You are hotter than ever, feeling tempted by this anal play, wishing for more.

All at once, the mahogany chest on the table spreads open – it has inner metal parts after all - and you see a shiny metal thing in there. You don’t recognize it at first, but when it starts flying to your back and you notice a black ornamental rose pinned to a drop-shaped object, you realise it is an anal plug. You groan to it as its cold metallic surface touches your hole. So Karl had a new toy hidden from you. That excites you even more.

“I don’t know if brats like you deserve this…” Heisenberg teases you, defiance sounding all over his tone.

“I will behave, I promise.” You promise again, willing to do whatever the hell he wants you to.

“Very well.” He says and you feel it slipping into you, making you feel so damn good.

You move your hips like crazy, feeling both his hand on your pussy and the plug in your ass. It feels good. Feels terrific.

“Argh, kitten, if you keep like that…” He groans and you know you have him hard, oh, you bet he has a major boner pulsating on those pants.

And you are absolutely right. Heisenberg is almost melting with the vision of your butt. Every time you move your hips you touch his delicious rod on. He has to bite his lips not to give you the satisfaction, but God damn it! you know how to make things hard for him. He can’t take no more of that.

Karl sits on the chair and pulls you straight to his lap, you sit on his cock and moan now knowing how you made him feel. He pulls it off, not even minding the rest of his clothes, just yours as he realises you from his shirt, having you completely naked for his gaze.

You don’t think much before hooping in his cock, feeling it all inside you at once, pressed by your very stimulated pussy and the plug. Both inside of you, giving you so much pleasure you could faint.

He is moaning savagely, griping your waist, making you shake for him, coming up and down like a happy rabbit, his happy pup.

He can’t stand the vision of your boobs jumping right in front of his eyes, so he grabs one and bites it. You scream due to surprise, but a wave of pleasure flows through your body. You are close, very close.

“Karl, I think I am gonna come.” You tell him, spoiled, moaning.

“I am too, buttercup.” He answers, sucking your neck, leaving a mark for sure, just to visually state that you are his.

You intensify the speed feeling as he tightens his grip. His cock is pulsating so much right now, you feel it all inside of you, you feel his cum being released deep down, filling you entirely and it is all for you and because of you.

You both are panting, completely weary because of so much exercise and pleasure. You hug him and burry your face on the curve of his neck and his collarbone, smelling the smell of metal, burned wood and a bit of oil too.

“I missed you.” You whisper in his ear.

“I missed you too, kitten.” He answers, cuddling your hair.

#resident evil #re8 #karl heisenberg #re village #karl heisenberg x reader #resident evil 8 village #heisenberg #heisendaddy #heisenberg resident evil #resident evil viii #resident evil 8 fanfic #resident evil village #re8 karl heisenberg #resident evil heisenberg #fanfic #re fanfic #heisenberg headcanon #lord heisenberg

199 notes · View notes

meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| good in bed | [chapter 1]

pairing; non-idol!chan x reader

this chapter’s notes; HELLO HELLO!! Gettin this ball rollin with the first chapter of good in bed!!!😚💕 Thank u for the interest in this fwb au with chan~ he needs more love yall hehe kind of an introductory chapter but fingering, (barely a) handjob and minor exhibitionism eheheh love u!!!💕💕💕💕

chapters; 1 - x - x - x

“So, how was your date with Jun-hyung?”

Chan toes his shoes off at the door, arms full of groceries and snacks for your weekly movie night at your apartment. You set your own bags down on the countertop before sighing and wiping the sweat from your brow. “It was okay. He kept asking me if I wanted to see videos of his hot dog roller and I couldn’t tell if that was sexual or if he really had a hot dog roller?” Chan laughs to tears, barely setting his bags down on the dining table before collapsing to the floor.

“Fuck, please tell me you’re kidding?” You shake your head ‘no’ at him, placing the various groceries in their places in the kitchen before grabbing the box of popcorn to make.

“I wish I was. He asked me if I wanted to go on a second date so he could show it to me in person.”

“Did you say yes?”

You shoot Chan an incredulous look, placing the bag of popcorn in the microwave and pressing start. “Uh, no?” He gets up from the floor, wiping the stray tears from his eyes before grabbing some of the other snacks and taking them to the living room to set up the space for your movie night.

“You should’ve. Maybe he would’ve shown you his massive dick and you missed out.”

You’re 3 movies in, 2 bags of popcorn cooked and Chan is already nodding off at 9PM.

“Chan, you ok over there?” He hums, sitting up on the sofa as he yawns. “Yeah, sorry, Soonyoung-hyung is really grilling us for the dance competition and we’re in the practice room a lot longer than usual. I’m beat. He could rip my legs off and I wouldn’t even feel it.” You look over to him rubbing his eyes, trying to wipe the sleepiness out of them as he reaches for the bucket of popcorn in between the two of you. “You should’ve just stayed home and rested, you didn’t need to come over for movie night if you’re this tired...” Frowning, you reach over, smoothing his mussed hair as he whines.

“I’m not a baby! And anyway, we’ve never missed movie night! Remember the time we got food poisoning from Jihoon-hyung’s cooking? We still had movie night, just with barf buckets.”

Laughing at the memory, you get up from your spot on the sofa, grabbing more drinks from the kitchen before settling back into your spot on the couch.

“True, I don’t know what we’d do without our movie nights.” Chan’s eyes flit to your form next to him, fingers in the bowl of popcorn. “I dunno, probably getting laid?” You choke on a sip of soda, the carbonated beverage getting onto your shirt. “What!?”

“What? Am I wrong? I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about any of your dates getting any further than the first date lately. And you’ve gone on a lot of them recently.”

The blush that coats your features is burning hot as you set your drink down onto the coffee table. You and Chan had talked about your dates and love lives before, but something about how blunt he’d just been surprised you. “Yeah, well, I dunno. I’m just not getting the right vibes, y’know? I know you’re friends with some of the people I’ve dated but just… I dunno. Maybe my chakras aren’t aligned or whatever.” He rolls his eyes at you jokingly, tired eyes back to the forgotten movie on screen.

“What if we just… I dunno, fucked?”

You can feel your pupils shaking as you stare holes into the side of Chan’s head. “Excuse me, what?”

He clears his throat, reaching for his glass of water on the side table before taking a sip and setting it back down. “I mean, you haven’t been getting any and I haven’t been getting any… We should maybe try it out?”

“You make it sound like we’re just trying kombucha for the first time! How are you so calm about this?!”

Chan laughs as he glances at you, noticing the blush covering your cheeks. “Because… Well, I don’t know. I guess cause we’re best friends? I trust you out of all people, you know? I know you won’t bite my dick off?” You bite the inside of your cheek; in all honesty, you had a huge crush on Chan for a while and the only reason you’d been going on so many dates lately was because you were trying to forget about your crush on Chan.

“Chan… I don’t know, this seems complicated?”

“You said you weren’t getting laid so…”

“Yeah, Chan, I said that but I dunno about this…” He cracks a smile, hand in the bucket of popcorn next to you. “You also said you didn’t want random hook-ups either, not after Seungkwan tried to finger you in that Ferris wheel two weeks ago.” You grimace at the memory; you were 3 seconds away from getting the good ‘ol police escort out of the theme park.

“I did say that…”

“Well? I’m not random, I’m your best friend! And anyway, Soonyoung’s been so far up my ass with practice for the dance competition at the end of the year so I haven’t been getting any either. It’d work out for both of us?” Chan crams a fist full of popcorn into his mouth, eyes never leaving the tv screen. You contemplate his words for a minute; Chan was insanely handsome and if you were being completely honest, you’d had a crush on him for a while now which is why you weren’t sure this was the right route.

“Chan, I don’t know…”

“Okay, well, just think about it? I’m always here for you. Even if you want to tie me up to the bedpost.”

You nod, a quiet ‘okay’ leaving your lips before you turn to the tv yourself.

“Let’s finish this movie because Sonic the Hedgehog is next on our list and I wanna see it already.”

When Chan leaves your apartment at midnight, he hugs you goodbye, reminding you to think about his proposition. You nod, a tight lipped smile on your face when you shut the door.

You tidy up your place slowly, the thoughts of Chan swimming in your head the entire time it takes for you to clean up and get ready for bed. There was really nothing wrong with his suggestion; you just weren’t sure if it’d make or break your friendship with him. It was fine that you kept your crush on him to yourself, but you knew that adding any sort of physical relationship would make it hard for you to not fall for him even harder. On the flipside, you’d finally be able to fuck your crush without him noticing anything, probably.

Groaning, you reach for your phone, scrolling through various apps before sighing again. Was it worth all the risk?

Screw it, you think, if it destroys our friendship at least we went out with a bang.

You realize when you ring the doorbell to Jeonghan’s apartment that only an actual psycho throws a party on a Tuesday night. I guess that’d be Jeonghan. He opens the door and lets you in, a drunken flush already evident on his skin as he thrusts a cup into your hand.

“There’s more drinks in the kitchen, Minghao’s the bartender tonight!!” You grimace as you smell the contents of the cup, taking a sip before you walk further into the apartment. Noticing a few of your one time dates, you awkwardly wave at them before making a beeline for the kitchen in order to avoid conversation.

“Hey! There you are, come have a drink!”

To your slight surprise, Chan’s already there, arm outstretched with a shot in hand. You had barely talked to him all weekend, giving him and yourself some time to think about the decision you’d both made. Although he had texted you once at 3am asking you a list of your top ten things you wanted to try out in the bedroom; to which you had taken at least 3 hours to come up with before sending the text and throwing your phone at your bed as the sun began to rise into the sky.

Taking the shot out of his hand, you down it, setting the cup back onto the countertop. “When did you get here, Chan?” He downs his own before wrapping an arm around your waist and tugging you closer towards him.

“Not too long ago, but Jeonghan’s been really shoving the alcohol down our throats tonight so it feels like it’s been hours.” He finishes with a laugh, fingertips digging into your clothed waist. “Been thinkin’ about you though, y’kno?”

“O-oh, really?”

“Mmhmm. Y’kno that fourth thing on your list that you sent me… I was waiting for you to show up cause I think we can try it out if you’re interested. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting a ‘lil ahead of myself and thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to do to you if you’d let me. Wanna get started?” You blush, almost crushing the cup in your hand when you remember what the fourth item on your list was.

Exhibitionism.

“I, um, o--okay, yeah let’s---let’s do it.”

When Chan pushes you into the storage closet of Jeonghan’s apartment, you can’t help but be a little confused, almost tripping over a misplaced wrench before plastering yourself against the wall.

“No offense Chan, but a storage closet?” He turns the flashlight on from his phone, searching for a light inside of the tiny room only to not find one before turning the flashlight off. “Aww, baby wants to fuck on a bed?” His voice is teasing, a stupidly handsome smirk visible on his face once your eyes adjust to the dark.

“Normally yes?”

“Well, too bad. The only bed in this place is Jeonghan’s and I know he’d make my life hell if I fucked you on it. Anyway, I… I wanna take it a ‘lil slow with you so we’ll start off with some basic shit, okay?” You roll your eyes, although you can’t deny the heat pooling in your lower abdomen. “I don’t know how basic this’ll be but … okay.”

Chan places his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him so that you can feel his hardness already straining in his jeans. “I’m not gonna lie, I was a little shocked when you sent that list of yours… But if I’m being honest, a lot of it is stuff I wanted to try too, so I guess it works out for us, huh?” He grinds into you, a small moan on his lips when he slots a leg in between yours. “Did you think about me at all?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Good. Can I kiss you?”

“Yes… please.” You’re nervous and about to change your entire relationship with Chan but the excitement overpowers all of your other emotions when he leans in, his lips on yours for the first time ever. He tastes like vodka and citrus when he dips his tongue into your mouth; your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in closer.

His hips work against yours as the two of you grind against each other in the tiny space. Chan’s lips part from yours, trailing down your neck in soft movements. “Can I leave marks?” You nod your head furiously, moaning loudly at his lips sucking love bites onto your skin. “I’m surprised you asked. Don’t you want them to know what we’re doing in here?” Chan smirks against your skin, hands moving from your waist to the button on your jeans.

“Mmm, don’t we both?” Chan pops the button of your jeans, working the zipper down before he plays with the hem of your panties between his fingertips. “I want to make sure you want this before I start. I want to hear you say it.”

“I want you, Chan.”

You don’t know how long has passed since Chan’s fingers spread your pussy open, the sound of your wetness bouncing off of the tiny room’s walls. “Ugh, Chan, p-please, another finger? I need more!” The music playing outside in the living room is loud and you hope somewhat that your voice is muffled when you cry out. Chan obliges, adding a third finger as you grind down onto his digits.

“Aww, baby, I’ve been doing all the work. Won’t you give me a ‘lil something too?”

You tug him in for another kiss, trailing a hand down his torso before you’re undoing his jeans, pushing his underwear down to wrap a hand around his cock. Precum leaks from the tip as Chan moans against your lips, thrusting his hips up into your closed hand as you squeeze your hand around him.

“Bet you wish it was my pussy instead, huh?”

You bite his lower lip before pulling away, “Too bad you didn’t just fuck me on Jeonghan’s bed but oh well~” Chan growls, thrusting his fingers into you particularly hard before his thumb starts to circle your clit.

“Don’t get cocky with me now, babe. Being a brat was only 8th on your list and I don’t think you want me to get mean with you just yet.”You grip on his cock loosens as you feel your orgasm building, moans freely spilling from your lips.

“Hey do you hear that?”

A muffled voice on the other side of the closet door has you pausing for a second, pussy clenching around Chan’s fingers. He smirks in the darkness, rubbing quicker circles on your clit. “C’mon, baby, cum for me, let them hear how pretty you sound when I’m making you cum.”

“Fuck, what the hell are you two doing in my closet!?”

Chan laughs, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Cum, now.”

All you can hear is the sound of your heart thrumming in your chest and Chan’s breathy moans as Jeonghan’s voice gets drowned out in the background when you cum. You’re sure nothing coherent is leaving your lips when Chan’s fingers continue to work you through it.

“Get the fuck out of my closet you nasty asses!”

“Ok but they sound good, ya’ll got an onlyfans or what?”

“Oof, is this why there was no second date?”

When Chan pulls his fingers out of your pussy is when you start to remember when you are, fingers still loosely wrapped around his cock when he licks his fingers clean. You run your hand up and down his shaft; hand coated in a sticky substance.

“Damn baby, even with the zero energy handjob I still came, guess you’re that powerful huh? Wonder what that pussy will do to me when we finally get to it.”

“Bitch, I will fucking kill you before you get to it, now get out of my closet!”

#dino smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #dino scenarios #dino imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #lee chan #dino #lee chan smut #gib!chan

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Astrid & Libi

Astrid: ....

Astrid: wHY Is JaKe doiNG tHat?

Astrid: itS beInG weIRd

Libi: Doing what, Astie?

Libi: He is a bit weird, isn’t he

Astrid: 👀 @ u 💬 @ u

Libi: Oh, well we’re both going to be in the school play that Mr Mullan is putting on

Libi: He’s going to be my husband/partner in crime 💥🔫🔫

Astrid: ⛔⛔⛔⛔

Astrid: yoUrE noT FRiENdS

Astrid: doEsNT mR mULLaN knOw??

Libi: I’ll have to do really good acting and pretend we are

Libi: Were first years allowed to audition?

Astrid: [lists everything vaguely shady that Libi has ever said about Jake like but you said… so good luck lol]

Astrid: ....

Astrid: i DoNt KnOW

Libi: Okay, I’ll have to work hard 😅 He seems like he really wants to do the play so hopefully he will work hard too

Libi: Oh that’s okay, it takes time to settle in doesn’t it

Libi: How are you liking your lessons?

Astrid: hmmMMMm

Astrid: HOPEfullY PeOPLe wonT bE 😢 oR 😡

Astrid: iT tAkEs tiME TO settLE iN ✅☑️

Astrid: I liKe hIStoRY & rE

Astrid: [cue a long long ramble about everything she’s learnt and is interested in within both of those subjects that I won’t subject us to even though I too like both of those]

Libi: I hope not

Libi: 😂 or 😁 or both

Libi: That’s really cool, you’ve learnt so much already

Libi: [At least she did all this last year so can talk about it too and indulge and talk about what she’s doing within those subjects this year]

Astrid: BObBy wilL BE

Astrid: 😢 oR 😡 BOTH thAT heS nOT yOUR paRTnER in CRImE

Astrid: [you’ll be so excited to learn some of that shit next year bab & have probably gone off fall down a rabbit hole/nerd out about all of that so there will be a pause for ages lol]

Libi: Bobby does have a part though, so we still get to rehearse and do all the fun stuff together 🙂

Astrid: 🙃

Astrid: DoEs Mr mULlAn kNOw iVe 👀 A dEaD boDy? iS HE gonNa 💬 @ ME?

Astrid: ❓🤔

Libi: Oh I don’t think he’ll do that, I think he’d see that as rude, he wouldn’t want to upset you, and talking about it might upset you

Libi: But if you did want to tell him anything, maybe you could tell me and I’ll tell him for you

Astrid: 👌 THat maKeS SenSE

Astrid: bUt i wONT tEll YoU iN cASE iT MAKES yoU uPSEt

Libi: That’s nice of you, Astie

Libi: But you can talk to me about it, if you wanna, I won’t tell you to stop

Libi: And I might get bits of it

Astrid: sOme SUBjeCTs yoUrE nOT ALlowed TO 💬 abOUT unLeSs tHE oTHeR perSon brINgs theM Up 1St

Astrid: whOs DeAD & wHo pEopLe waNNA 💋

Libi: Who 💬 those rules?

Libi: I’ll have to remember them 😏

Astrid: mRs FifIELd eveRy tIMe we Do SOCiaL SkilLS

Astrid: rEpeaTING it Will HelP yOU remEMbER

Libi: I’ll give it my best shot

Libi: Though sometimes it’s very obvious who wants to 💋 who that it feels strange NOT to talk about it, doesn’t it

Astrid: 🙂 🙃

Astrid: ThATs WHAT i 💬 baCK eVerYtimE

Astrid: buT sHE doeSnt Get 😡

Libi: It’s a good point

Libi: Do you think she’d like to help with the play?

Astrid: shE doEsNT lIkE mr mULLAN

Astrid: thaTS V obVioUS

Libi: Ahh

Libi: I’m not sure of him yet, he’s okay but… I’m not sure, I guess

Astrid: he waNTS yoU to 💋 JakE In fronT oF EVERYonE & THats NOT 👌

Libi: It’ll just be pretending, I don’t have to really like him

Libi: I knew it might be a possibility of kissing anyone when I signed up, so it’s okay

Astrid: & hEs gOnNa be prEteNdinG tO nOT bE meaN But afTer the PLaY he wONT 👀 @ u 💬 @ U

Libi: Probably

Libi: But that’s okay with me

Astrid: If yoUre NOT 😢 oR 😡 its 👌 WITH me ToO

Libi: Thanks for having my back

Libi: I’m most excited about all the behind the scenes stuff

Libi: There’s lots of props and sets and costumes to make and source

Libi: We could do with your 👀 if you wanna come ‘round after school Friday

Libi: Jake won’t be there, just our friends

Astrid: 🧡 wErE FamILY & FriEnDS iVE got yoUR bacK & frONT 💛

Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: ❓🤔 WHEReS the PLaY SET & wHEn?

Astrid: friDAY afteR scHOOl 👌 FRIday afTer scHoOL

Astrid: 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙?

Libi: Yeah we are 💚💜

Libi: [Nerd out about the whole vibe of this play]

Libi: We’ll probably get pizza, is that good with you? Come at 4 if you want pizza but if not have your dinner then come, alright?

Astrid: [when Ro’s your mum so you love dressing up and vintage shit, she’ll just be the casual unofficial costume designer of the play for this squad tbh]

Astrid: ILL be ThERE @ 5

Libi: Sounds great 😊

Astrid: WHEn arE yoU learNING youR lines?

Libi: Weds/Fri after school, then fitting it in with homework 🤞

Astrid: iS mR MUllaN doING eVERY reheARSAL?

Libi: He’s sharing with Ms Howe, the art teacher, I think he’s doing Fridays and she’s doing Wednesdays

Libi: We’ll see how that goes

Astrid: dO yoU LiKE her?

Libi: She’s really nice, and she always listens to everyone’s decisions in 🎨 so she should be a good addition to the team, I think

Astrid: ❕ ILL tEll HeR wHAt a dEAD bODy looks lIKe ❕

Libi: It would be nice to get the makeup somewhat realistic, budget willing

Astrid: [send her some designs obvs]

Libi: Oh wow, I really like the second one, it’s really detailed but looks achievable still

Libi: We’ve got to do five murders total...I think 🤪

Libi: and they all die in different ways so there’s lots of room to play

Astrid: 5 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: THe DeTecTiVe hAS goTTa be V in LOve wiTh YoU

Astrid: iS he NicER thAN JaKE?

Libi: Yeah, that plot twist is pretty easy to spot isn’t it 😏

Libi: 👗👠💄💉🩸💋💣 that’s me

Libi: I didn’t really know much about him before, he’s a third year

Libi: but so far yeah, he seems really chill and kinda funny, so that’s good, less awkward 🤞

Astrid: is A 💋 wiTH him iN the ScripT?

Libi: Yep

Libi: Just those two, thank goodness

Astrid: gRanDMa wiLL be 😡😡😡😡😡😡

Libi: I told her I was auditioning

Libi: but that’s what I’m worried about now as well

Libi: I didn’t think I’d get this part

Libi: What do you think I should do?

Astrid: KEEp it a SURPRise

Astrid: eVERyONe LikEs sURprIsES

Astrid: She woNT gUESS YouRE 👗👠💄💉🩸💋💣

Libi: Maybe

Libi: I’m not sure nan likes surprises though

Astrid: HMMmmm

Astrid: mAyBe she woNT nOtICE the 💋

Astrid: 5 BodiEs aRE GoNNa Be LyinG on StaGE

Libi: Priorities, right 😅

Astrid: I cOULd gET heR to CloSE heR 👀 whEN I do

Astrid: ShE woULD do it wiTH mE so IM noT 😢 oR 😡

Libi: You’d do that for me?

Libi: That’s really sweet of you

Libi: But I’ll find a way to tell her, it’s okay

Libi: If she isn’t okay with it I won’t do it

Astrid: 👌 bUT IF yoU dOnt whoS yoUR UnDERSTUDY?

Libi: China O’Neill

Libi: then Beck would get to be her current role

Astrid: ⛔⛔⛔⛔

Astrid: im NOt heLPIng HER

Libi: I can’t say I blame you

Libi: It’ll be hard to be ‘best friends’ with her in the play and rehearse with her that much

Astrid: ThankFULLY YOUrE THe BesT acTresS in SchOOL

Libi: 😌

Libi: You’re so kind, I just got lucky

Libi: China really wanted my role

Astrid: iTS NoT ACTing FOR her to PLAy tHE VIllaIN its A viNTAGE drESS UP sessION

Astrid: shes MEAN EVery Day

Libi: Omg 🤭

Libi: That’s a good one

Astrid: shE mIGHt taKe weeKENDS Off i dOnt KNow her theN

Libi: I’ve seen her on a few

Libi: Doesn’t seem like she does

Astrid: yOU got LUcky she iSnt YouR sisTER in the PLAY or ReaL liFE

Libi: Poor America

Libi: I wouldn’t say anything or think anything bad if she wasn’t mean to Bobby

Libi: or you, or just everyone

Libi: I know she has her own stuff but that’s not okay

Astrid: i likE AmeriCA

Astrid: wHENs she beinG murDEReD?

Astrid: & wHAT dOeS STUFF mean?

Libi: She likes you too 😄

Libi: She’s the 1st victim, how mean of me

Libi: like stuff in her personal life that would make her 😢 or 😡

Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁

Astrid: doES mR MullAN noT Like AmerICA oR dOeS shE NOt liKe him? 😆 😅 😂 🤣

Astrid: stUFF like JaKE not WaNTInG to BE heR BoYFriend

Astrid: ....

Libi: A bit of both

Libi: but I think they like annoying each other too, a 🤏

Libi: He likes her enough to cast her anyway

Libi: Yeah, but also stuff I don’t know, and the kinda stuff you wanna keep secret from everyone, you know?

Astrid: iF she So WASNT meAN she wOULD hAVE FRiENDS to TEll her SecreTS to & iF ShE CouLD TELL her SeCRETS To SomeONE she wouLDNT be AS mean

Astrid: 😵‍💫

Libi: That’s a good point

Libi: She’ll have to figure that out on her own though, I don’t think she’d like being told 😠😡🤬

Astrid: she wOULd haVE a meLTdoWn ✅☑️

Libi: Exactly

Libi: And she doesn’t pay attention in her social skills lessons so she doesn’t have good coping skills

Astrid: SoCiAL SkILLs iS v 😵‍💫

Astrid: BuT Im GlaD sheS nOT in OUR cLASS fOR iT

Libi: It sounds like Mrs Fifield is impressed with you though

Astrid: 🤞🤞

Astrid: i liKE thIS scHOOl

Astrid: [cue a rant about the school Ro sent her to when she was alive because imagine tbh, my child, autistic? NEVER]

Libi: That’s good

Libi: It’s important to be mostly happy at school, as we spend so much time here

Libi: And I like it too, it’s nice to all go to the same school, even if we’re in different years

Astrid: & !Now wE cAN HANG OUT moRE for tHE plaY!

Libi: 😄😄

Astrid: FRIDay @ 5 but 👀 FOr ME on wedNESdAY when mS hOWE is dOING reheaRSAl 😄😄

Libi: Wednesday after school in the gym and Friday @ 5

Libi: Got it

Libi: It’s gonna be fun

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talkingismylifewrites · 5 years

Note

babe.... bAbe..... u can’t give them the Good Dad Rog shit and the. not follow up with the hot space angst.................... it’s what the people Deserve

i copied this verbatim from our chats so like, if its choppy that’s why. also, this is like….part 1 of what is really 85 pages of hc’s all about hot space so like…more to come??? sorry for the angst

it begins with brian having cheated on chrissie

and dom, who is pregnant with baby #5, takes Offense to it

basically dom gets chrissie her divorce and sets her up with crystal, who has always had a Thing for her

and while in the middle of handling this shit because dom is kickass, dom comes to the decision that Brian Is Wrong and Needs To Be Taught A Lesson

so she convinces ronnie to her side and is like, we do not interact with brian for as long as it takes for him to realize he fucked up

so basically hot space is such shit because dom and ronnie are like for however long you support brian we will not have sex with either of you

like you want to be there for him? fine but your hands gonna be there for you instead of us

john immediately is like good luck brian hope you figure your shit out

kinda backfires actually

roger and john are like uhhhhh

well this is a shame certainly bc we love u

but also

ig we…. gotta fuck each other

Oh No

they’re so smug about it until they receive an envelope from home

its pictures of both women together in various positions

john gives in first but roger is annoyingly stubborn when he wants to be

And that’s why John don and Ronnie all get to go to Bali

they come back

And roger has moved out

and he’s like. uh. can i? am i allowed to see the kids

and they’re like wait what?

and they’re like OF COURSE WHY DID YOU MOVE OUT???

and he’s like. you uh. u said? that if i stuck with brian that we were like. done. and like brian’s a fuckhead and chrissie deserved none of what he did but uhhhhh he’s also like. my best friend and he’s going thru some shit even if it’s self inflicted u know and um. you guys have each other i guess so like i knew you’d be okay but i just.

i’d really like to be able to see the kids

and fucking miami ends up at the door

with all the NDA’s and legal shit they sorted out

like ok so, here’s how separation is going to work

and they’re like wait no no no we just–we were just upset???

but roger is like but you threatened to end our relationship and withhold sex unless i give in to what you guys want and i’m sorry but i…i can’t do that

and miami is literally like you. you all. left. and you took the kids with you. you left a NOTE

what the fuck did u think he was going to think?

and they’re like WE TOLD HIM WHERE WE WERE

WE THOUGHT HE’D COME

miami is like

“bali” is not an invitation

like no you thought you could manipulate him into bending to your way

that doesn’t COUNT

miami is Team Roger

which is how they know They Fucked Up

and roger just kneels down before their little army of kids and gives them giant hugs and is like no matter what i will always love you guys

and then miami like takes him outside and is like i will take you all for everything he’s owed

and roger goes and lives with freddie

brian ofc has NO IDEA any of this is even fucking happening

maybe thats when roger starts The Cross

and its all angsty heartbroken shit and Johns like HE’S QUIT THE BAND

and the three of them are like shit

we do not work together without roger

miami ends up being like the weird go between who picks up the kids for their weekends with roger

and they beg miami for information

and miami is like you do not deserve to know how he is

and crystal is like look, i get that you’re supporting my girlfriend but now you’ve hurt my best friend and my boss like…do you understand how your actions have fucked me???

and roger isn’t really? doing well? but he also know he can’t afford to fall apart because if he goes to shit there’s an excuse for him to not be able to see the kids???? and like he doesn’t wanna think they’d do that??? but he only has legal rights to like. three of them.

and the thought of never getting to see all of his kids keeps him up at night and he spends a lot of time drinking

like a lot a lot

and he writes all the kids letters from where he’s holed up working on the cross and he makes it sound like hes! doing! so! well! on! his! own!

the kids get little gifts delivered? like all the time

bc he’s always thinking of them and he has the money to just.. send them trinkets

ugh ok so they’re separated for a while then like. just under a year maybe?

rog moves out of fred’s after two months

when it becomes apparent that uh

this isn’t

he gets his own little shitty house

this might be for Real

and he tries to get one with rooms for each of the kids

and when they come to visit he’s like look here’s something for you and bunkbeds for the twins that aren’t twins and a pool and maybe we can get a dog?

but the kids just want to pile into bed with him

but one of them like is crying? and john’s like whats wrong? and she’s lke do you think papa is lonely in his big house who’s going to cuddle him at night he’s all alone

and johns like……….. fuck

like not only have we broken the best relationship we’ve ever been in but we have broken our children too

the kids asking roger in the big puppy pile in his bed and he’s like well i cuddle you all SO MUCH while your here that it it keeps me warm even when you go home

that why i hug you all as soon as i see you!!!! i need a top up of your love!!!! gotta keep me toastie warm :)

and freddie is a fucking liar he’s like roger is doing BETTER THAN EVER he is so FUCKING HAPPY NOW and hes like ROGER IS THIRTY FLIRTY AND THRIVING AND YOU GUYS ARE MISSING OUT ON HOW HOT HE LOOKS NOW

like POST BREAK UP HE’S TONED AND FIT AND HE LOOKS AWESOME

flash to roger sitting on the floor of the kitchen in his boxers without a shirt on just sobbing into a pint of rocky road ice cream

roger: vaguely emaciated, surviving on cigarettes and gin and tonics

he hasn’t shaved but the man can’t grow a beard so its jsut ugly patches of hair

but!!! like the other three really only see him when the kids are around and??? yeah??? he looks good!

because no one can KNOW because as far as he’s concerned they didn’t want him

like he’s dressed nicely. he’s lost a bit of weight but well he’s hit his thirties so maybe not the Worst thing even if they did Love His Pudge

and he would never ever ever scare the kids by showing them how he looks

freddie’s like oh yeah roger’s GREAT

SO BRILLIANT

and you can’t tell he doesn’t sleep and has massive bags under his eyes because that is the dawn of the prescription sunglasses

TRIED TO HAVE HIM AROUND FOR SCRABBLE THE OTHER DAY BUT HES JUST GO GO GO THESE DAYS

freddies like you should hear the songs he’s written like that stuff is GOD

(the songs are just him weeping over a guitar track)

cut to the other day: freddie and roger playing scrabble for thirteen hours in between crying jags

the next day: chess, but the pieces are shot glasses

freddie is like in bed next to jim like i dunno how much more alcohol we can drink i’m running out of ways to make him drunk enough to forget

so jim makes him garden with him bc it gets him out of the house so he even gets a TAN but they just drink SO MUCH WHISKEY

then ronnie and dom and john are like look at him he’s golden tan he looks gorgeous

but the kids are like DAD HAS A STRAWBERRY PATCH!!!! AND WE PLANTED SUNFLOWERS TOGETHER

and jim is like he’s only evenly tanned because when he passed out in the garden i rolled him over so his back would get tan too

and yeah they’re like??????????? he looks so good????

and miami lowkey thinks hes helping but he is NOTbecause every time he sees him he’s like okay we can get you think much from your combined fortunes and the beach house and i can make it so you have custody of your legal kidsroger: they’re ALL MY KIDS MIAMI

but rogers mainly like i’m not gonna separate any of the kids that’s????? no. like. they belong as a family

even if i’m not……. part of that family….. any more…….

roger is like look i just want to be able to see them. i won’t take them form their parents and miami is like roger..you’re their parent too

and roger is like no i’m just like, their uncle now?

like i’m not in that family they made i clear that i am not allowed

A N Y W A Y S

ronnie is the one who sorta caves first

she’s lke look we started this and i kinda pushed for us to end it so i’m gonna fix it

john wont bc of the band dynamics, dom is top aware that it could splinter the group back into two couples, ronnie is really the only one who can

yeah and ronnie sorta. just shows up at his house in the middle of the night

and like (luckily for him) he’s just got in from a thing for the cross

so he Doesn’t look fucking awful

but he’s also fucking exhausted so he opens the door and is like FUCK are the kids okay!!! shit!!!! dom??? john???

and ronnie’s like everyone’s fine i just. i missed you?

and roger’s like. he’s so tired he’s just like ronnie….. i can’t do this right now. you can’t. you can’t just show up here

that’s not fair.

and ronnie’s like…. well. she wasn’t sure how she was really expecting it to go because. yeah. they’re literally not been within about 50m from one another in fucking months

but she was. hoping at least for an “i miss you too”

but roger’s like. it’s really late, i’m… gonna go to bed. i really, really cannot do this right now. i’ll see the kids on friday.

and so ronnie goes home and bawls her eyes out to john and dom who are…. also kinda shook?

like. they were NOT expecting roger to turn her away like that, that’s… yeah. but like roger has been mostly by himself this whole time. like they’ve had one another but he’s. just been sorta trying to learn to keep his head above water by himself again and. it was actually a dick move showing up there unannounced. like, they basically left him with little to no warning they can’t just try and walk back in the door y’know?????

and anyway on friday miami comes to pick up the kids and ronnie is like uhhh i’m coming with

and miami is like uh. disrespectfully speaking? you fucking are not

and she’s like oh :) ur not taking my kids then

which. is just. another bad move? tbh

miami is like. right. fine. can i use ur phone to call the other father of ur children to tell him that one of their mothers won’t let him see them

and ronnie is like go right a fuckin head

and dom and john are sorta there like ronnie ronnie wtf are u doing ronnie

but ronnie’s like nah i’m calling his (miami’s) bluff

and dom is like no, uh, roger can have the kids

but. miami calls

and ronnie is like not mine he can’t its all or nothing

he’s stood there in their parlour

and like obviously they can only hear his side of the conversation

dead eyeing ronnie like i fucking hold this band together out of sheer will

i can outlast you no matter what

Miami: Hi Rog, Miami. Yeah, yeah, the kids are fine. I’m at your old place right now, actually. No, yeah. No. Well, actually, Rog. Veronica says you can’t have the kids this week. No, she didn’t say anything to me about it before. No, no. I’m sorry, Rog. I know, I’m so sorry. She hasn’t said anything about next week yet. Yeah. Yeah. It’s alright, it’ll be alright. We’ll work something out. I’ll come right around, okay? Alright. Okay. I’ll let them know. Yeah, I promise. Just like you said. Won’t change a word. See you in a bit.

and ronnie is like what did he want you to say to us?!!!!

and miami just straight up blanks her and dom and john

and walks into the living room where the kids are, all ready to go

and is like hey rugrats!

(which is totes rogers nickname for them)

and they’re all like!!!! uncle miami!!!!! are we going to see papa now???

Veronica is like ho don’t you fucking say it

and he’s like i’m really sorry guys (and ronnie goes to interrupt but he stops her) but daddy has the flu

and the kids are like!!!! oh no!!!!

and he’s like so you can’t go see him this week :( he’s really really upset about it, and he HOPES he’ll be better next week because he misses all his little nuggets so much

and the eldest is like???? but!!!! our hugs keep daddy warm!!! if he’s sick he needs to be warm he can’t be cold!!! who’s going to recharge his cuddles???

and miami is like well he said if you all hug each other reaaaaally right he can feel it! so long as you all keep giving each other lots of hugs he’ll keep tight and cosy

and he goes to leave and is like to the three of them like…. i cannot believe that you are actually doing this. i didn’t know you could be so cruel

and off he trots

and ronnie is like. fuck

fuck

FUCK

and the other three would be like ronnie what…what the fuck was that???

they end up having…. a huge fight over it

like giant

like “hi chrissie can you take the kids for a couple of days” fight

and chrissie is like uh…. i can take a few? but crystal is. away

work emergency

and johns like????? queens on a break????????????

and dom’s like???? ROGER, JOHN. ROGER IS THE EMERGENCY

so they’re like trying to find babysitters so they can fight it out but also maybe go to roger???

because the work emergency is code for roger is trying to destroy himself via alcohol poisoning

like miami knows the second he hung up that roger as going to just drown himself in whisky

so he used a payphone to call freddie and crystal

and is like i don’t care what you have to do or how you do it but you need to be at roger’s yesterday

but brian isn’t looking after their fucking kids

freddie isn’t home

and jim has heard what they did

and hes like that was fucking cruel

crystal isn’t home

miami is gone

fucking RATTY doesn’t pick up

phoebe straight up was like freddie told me if i watched hte kids he’d kill me

he was like i am not even allowed to be speaking with you thank you and goodnight

so they call mary and they’re like please mary

and mary is like as far as i’m concerned if you’re that worried about roger watching his own fucking children i do not know why you would call me as the better option

like fuck you you think roger can’t be with his kids and now you want to DUMP THEM ON ME??? “and anyway, i’m just stopping at home for the booze i have here. we’ve all been banned from the liquor stores with in a ten mile radius of…… a place.”

eventually they manage to scrounge enough family members on john and ronnie’s respective sides

but it. genuinely takes like over a day

everyone is either straight up just not answering or, if they are at home, not willing to step in

[meanwhile miami is on the fucking warpath he is like you wanna play chicken? i’ll roast you for dinner VERONICA he’s writing up a custody agreement so tight it will tie them up in court for years like he sits down at roger’s kitchen table while roger is profusely vomiting up all the alcohol he had and then some and he’s like they’re gonna fucking pay

he’s getting the kids and the houses and over half the money and the royalties and here is a list of available bass players because HE GETS THE BAND TOO]

but yeah john ronnie and dom end up having a giant, fuck off, end all fight

and dom is like. u realise we just took his fucking kids away right

and johns like for fuck sake chrissie is FINE do you really think she wanted me to tank my career and for all of us to blow up our entire family because of her????

but the problem is. it’s BIGGER than the chrissie thing now

johns like she knew what she was getting into and she knew he was a cheater when they were fuckign dating

but really it was like, six different fights that all boiled over in the name of Chrissie’s Honor and then

the biggest thing is that like,

when they were in bali

they did fully think roger would come

and but then he didnt and the spent 3 weeks getting angrier and angrier at the situation and him and brian and it spiraled into this black ugly mess of shit

and they didn’t realize how vital roger was to keeping them together like he’s the fun dad so the kids have been acting out more becasue he’s not there to get them to blow off steam

(plus like, the kids just lost their dad??? like he doesn’t live there anymore he’s at a different house and that is big)

and he’s the peace keeper (surprising despite his tempter but everyone else like stews he’s the only one who’s like lets talk it out)

and he makes them all coffee in the morning so they’re all vaguely caffeine deprived

and now ronnie has fucked it all TWICE first by showing up and then by TAKING HIS KIDS and dom was like when we had baby#2 and it was clearly rogers we promised him we SWORE that he would never ever ever take them away from him

like we said that as long as he was their papa that was IT he was their father and we would never ever take that from him

and ronnie’s like i didn’t MEAN IT he should KNOW I WOULD NEVER MEAN THAT

and johns like. ok. but uh. how would he know

i mean. we sorta

did take his kids away from him

when we went to bali

when we went to bali for a month

and again

and then

now

five days of the week

and now?

i mean

we have been… slowly taking the kids away from him

three weeks ago we made him give them back a day early so that we could do to the beach

bc we could only do it…. as a family…. on the weekend

and then two of the little ones (one of which is his) was sick and we kept them home

because. him seeing his kids is inconvenient to us

and we had them on the actual day of his birthday

which you know is his favorite day of the year because the kids make him breakfast in bed and wake him up singing happy birthday

so. us just pulling the plug isn’t… really all that unrealistic is it?

and dom and ronnie sort of get defensive and backing each other up

dom is like no!! we have NOT!!

and ronnie like how dare you

and johns like. ok. but see this is the problem

this was the problem in bali too

like its us vs. him

we all get caught up in defending ourselves

when he’s NOT HERE TO DEFEND HIMSELF

that everything we do seems right

and he should… just be grateful?

to have us?

to see the kids?

and that we have proven that if he doesn’t agree with us he doesn’t haveus?

like originally it was just sex yeah

but then it was clear that you wouldnt budge

and neither would he and why should he have brian has been there for him longer than he’s even known me

like brian is terrible for cheating but he’s roger’s brother and we literally made him choose his family and when he wouldn’t

we chose for him

and, as we’ve established, chrissie is FINE

and a grown woman

and roger knew that better than any of us because crystal was filling him in on EVERYTHING

she probably didn’t fucking need the two of you, and then me, ripping apart our family, the band, and the various social circles we run in

or even WANT us to do that

and dom’s like……. i really miss him

i’ve been trying really hard not to

bc it’s easier to be angry

and i didn’t want it to seem like i love him more than you guys

because i know it can be hard sometimes like not falling into those couple-y behaviours

and i didn’t want to do that

but i really really miss him

but like, roger is my first

he is my first real love and i love you both so much but he’s my roger

and. it’s been really hard watching [youngest] hit milestones and rogers not here to see them

(and they tried to be nice and send videos and pictures but its not the same!!

so they just stopped telling him hoping that the kid would do it there and roger would think it was the first time

but that just made roger feel like they didn’t care enough about him

to be like oh hey your kid’s walking sucks that you had to learn form the older kid insead of the other parents)

and dom’s like. and it’s made worse because. he wouldn’t have let this happen if it was one of us

and john is like. uh

and ronnie’s like fuck. no. ur right. he wouldn’t have

dom’s like. right back at the beginning he was always saying that he’d make sure we were all involved in the kids lives no matter what that this wouldn’t happen he wouldn’t let it

and we did it to him

and ronnie is like. how the fuck do we fix this

bc shit like that. like their youngest hitting milestones???? like that feels like something they stole from him bc they can’t give that back

for like the first time john actually cries

and is like what have we done

and yeah. the fight just sorta ends with all three of them in tears and just. sort of silent

because maybe that was the biggest issue

because. what the fuck

because chrissie was pregnant and maybe dom was pregnant and they were like imagine this was us

and we got cheated on

and so when the whole Bali Thing happens the kid is like maybe 6 months?

so roger genuinely misses over half of this kids life

and kidlet just. doesn’t have the same bond with him???

because there’s so little you can be there for when you get every weekend

and roger knows

but the other three don’t because they haven’t seen him with the kids?

but the kid just cries the whole weekend and wants his “daddy”

kidlet isn’t really comfy around roger and neither, really, is their second youngest who is withdrawing

and roger is just like???? these are my KIDS

and the second youngest is roger’s

and i’m a STRANGER to them

and he tries so hard! but the other problem is like, we have so many kids

and i am one person

like he is stretched so thin

so he can only do so much like if hte baby is crying he has to take care of the baby sorry oldest ones i can’t go play outside with you

and the three of them just realize, like, what have we done???

cut to roger’s house he’s just lying on the floor not even crying just laying there his bedroom is ruined because he hung up with miami and just trashed it

and is laying on his floor like i want to die here

john calls while the Roger Stomach Pumping Emergency Squad are on day three of their duties

and crystal picks up which is. it’s not the BEST he could have hoped for, which would have been freddie, but it’s the second best bc crystal still nominally works for him

(crystal is like i’m gonna fucking quit like i will take the cross to the NEXT LEVEL even if i have to KILL JOHN TO DO IT)

and johns like ok this is. i’m just calling to say that i’m going to come around tomorrow? i’ll be there are 12. i’m not asking for permission, but i’m just calling to give you a heads up. to give roger a heads up

and so. they uh. sober roger up. do their best to make him somewhat presentable? (does not work. he refuses to shave or shower or get changed out of his Depression Pajamas. he swills some mouthwash, they call it a win)

(depression pajamas are john’s pants and the joke shirt ronnie and dom bought him for his birthday years ago thats like save a drum bang a drummer)

and then. they go upstairs, just leaving miami downstairs except he’s Not Allowed To Talk

he is there, strictly, as roger’s legal representation

miami just holds all the papers for legal divorce and separation the papers that are going to FUCK THEM UP if roger says so

and john shows up and he’s like. oh. um. this isn’t. this isn’t really a legal talk?????? and miami is like yes well y’all do have a history of Technical Kidnapping so

can’t be too careful 🙃

and roger just. doesn’t give a shit

he’s like miami can you shut the fuck up

like what the fuck do you think johns going to do that’s worse than break up with me and refuse to let me see my kids?

what, have you all gangbanged my mum too? just for a giggle?

and john is like. uh. no. winnie is. un-gangbanged. as far as i know.

and rog is like well there you go, everything appears to be Just As Shit as it was yesterday and no worse

and johns like look. i just. ronnie honestly didn’t mean that you couldn’t see the kids, not at all. she just. she just wanted to see you and the kids were… leverage? sort of? which sounds awful

and roger is like. yeah. that sounds pretty fucking awful, actually

and he’s like where’s my alcohol and miami is like as your legal representative and your medical emergency contact i must advise you not to drink anymore as i do not believe your liver will survive

(miami [visibly jots down john calling the children leverage])

but yeah rogers like. well. here i fucking am.

and johns like. this is all. it’s all fucked up. we love you? we never stopped loving you? this has all spiralled way out of control. the girls were just mad about chrissie and

and roger is like?? do u think i give a FUCK about chrissie???? none of this was EVER about chrissie on my side. this was about the three of you deciding that our relationship with acceptable fucking collateral for you to throw about to win arguments and get me to do what you wanted

[miami in the corner scribbling it all down]

that’s now how relationships fucking work, john. and i never thought you’d take my children away from me for it.

and johns like. i know. i’m sorry, we’re sorry. it honestly just grew out of control. when we were in bali we thought you would come and then it would have been fine, but you didn’t and we got angry and

and rogers like?!! i didn’t do what u wanted so you ran away with my children for a month

i couldn’t have come even if i WANTED to

“gone to bali” is not a fucking address, john

(and the thing is when they wrote that? it was tongue in cheek. it was a “come find us”. but, well. that didn’t work out as intended, did it?)

like they thought of course roger would like, call miami to find them or hell ratty or something like they all have the same credit cards they could figure it out…right?

and johns like. i’m sorry. can you. would you be…. interested? in talking to all three of us? we love you, and we miss you. we want to try and save this

and roger is like i dont know

i don’t know if it can be saved

and well. that’s enough to get a foot in the door because. his kids. roger would grin and bear his way thru 16 and a half years of painful awkwardness on his part of it means he gets to be with his kids as they grow

but he’s not saying yes

he’s saying he’ll talk to all three of them together

but miami will be there

and miami is like 💅

and so they set a date for the next monday

and this time roger is wearing like. a fucking suit, he’s all scrubbed up

and they’re like???????? what the fuck

(john totally went home and told the other three how terrible he looked)

but this time like. it’s…. it’s make or fucking break like if they walk out of this and he can’t see it being salvaged then… that’s it

he’ll be giving them the (kindest) separation and custody agreement’s that miami has drawn up

miami has like three all drawn up and ready depending on how it goes

one is niceish one is harsher and the last is scourged earth

nice: they get half his assets, he gets friday evening-sunday afternoon and ¾ of all school holidays

harsh: ¼ assets (minus property and future royalty income from existing tracks), friday afternoon school pick up- sunday evening, and all school holidays apart from three days beginning and end, weekends, and potentially visitation right son Public Holidays (such as christmas day)

scourged earth: ½ present cash assets (nothing else), friday afternoon pick up - Tuesday morning drop off, all school holidays minus weekends (excepting public holidays. so if xmas day falls on a sunday? too fucking bad)

miami is like i will wipe the board with you if he asks and i will not hesitate

and he WILL be going to court to attempt to win rights to have ALL of the children involved in those custody agreements (miami thinks they have a case given how many interviews they’ve given over the years referencing how the children view each other as brother and sister)

plus there’s like squatter’s/commonlaw rights

yeah basically miami is. uh ready to destroy

like roger is the common law parent because he has lived with these kids in that house for 7 years

roger’s one request was just can i have enough to buy a house big enough for all the kids to come visit and can i just see them? like even if its once a month i just want to see them

miami is like i gotchu fam you’re my favorite tell the others

BUT YES SO roger is like i’m really just here to see if there’s anything to salvage.

and like

dom immediately bursts into tears

she hasnt seen him in person since he LEFT

and because??? how could there not be??????????

dom is willing to give ANYTHING to fix it

and ronnie is like. horrified. she keeps going to reach across the table to hold his hand before catching herself

and she starts. she apologised for what happened the other day, for crossing that line

and rogers like… it’s been coming for a while now

because he always knew one day the kids would stop coming

like either they wouldn’t let him see them

or the kids wouldn’t want to come see the guy who was once their dad but now just has his own home

like the two youngest already don’t want him

so it makes sense

yeah.

and dom’s like… do you still love us?

because i still love you

and rogers like. i. i could never stop loving any of you???? but i also cant ever forget the past year and the things that have happened either

That’s what makes it hurt the most is like I still love you?? I will always love you you’re the mothers of my children and John you’re their father like you’re raising my kids

and johns like well. love is a start, yes?

and roger’s like. yes. but i love my kids more, and. i spent the last year hoping we were just… going to work it out. that this was going to stop, but it hasn’t. it’s got worse. and i suppose it’s a good thing that you did what you did last week because instead of the kids being slowly taken away from me and me having to accept it over time, it happened all at once and i can’t take that. i Won’t take that again. and so now i know that if this isn’t going to work out that i am Going to have a relationship with my kids, if i have to fight you all in the courts for it

and ronnie’s like we’re not? we’re not going to fight you

and miami that sneaky bastard pulls out the SCORCHED EARTH custody agreement and is like so you’ll sign this?

and dom’s like what the fuck is it?????? and he’s like custody agreement. in the event of your separation from roger, dominique, and/or his departure from the home you share with john and veronica he would be entitled, by contract, to have the children (ALL OF THEM, those children being those who were born between 1974 and 1983) from friday school pick up to tuesday morning school drop off, and the entirety of school holidays apart from weekends.

and johns like fuck. that’s. a lot of time

and roger is like? i haven’t had all of the children together in over a month

and ronnie is like fuck. you haven’t, have you? there’s been….

and miami picks up another piece of paper and starts listing off reasons

Because he’s been picking them up and dropping them off and every single time one of them isn’t there he writes it down

dentist appointment, flu, stomach bug, school trip, trip to the beach “as a family”

They watch a roger visibly flinches at the “as a family” comment

and dom just signs it. plucks it right out of johns hand who is trying to read it (or the first page) and flips to her page and signs

and johns like fuck!! dom!!!

and she’s like. roger wouldn’t ask us to sign anything that would be detrimental to the kids OR to us

we used to fucking know that, john

She’s like Roger is their father first and foremost and he has the right to as much time as he wants from them. If they miss us I will PERSONALLY but them their own phone line to call us but he gets as much time as he wants with them

and like. john and ronnie aren’t going to sign, not without their lawyer there to check it out, but. that sign from dom? is enough to get roger to agree to try

to agree that maybe there’s something to salvage there

Even if it’s just with dom

Because she was like I have faith in this man and I do not plan on ever losing him again so I’ll sign anything because it’ll never come down to it

Yeah because. well. he can live with that if it means he gets his kids

he can live with knowing that he’s not wholly Wanted in this relationship

if he’s… wanted a little bit and he gets to watch his kids grow up every day

it’s 16 and a half years

that’s doable

He will do what he needs to for his kids

he loves those rugrats so fucking much

he stays at home SO MUCH for the next like. year. bc he is BUILDING that relationship with the youngest two

Like the rest of the break? Is because roger will not leave the house

He is like nope not working I’m with the nuggets

And Freddie is like bring them to the studio just come

Like it’s just him with the kiddos

Writing and trying to get his babies to love him again

And he’s like I’m never leaving you ever again

That first tour? Is ROUGH

like it is hard for roger to leave and he almost is like I can’t do it I can’t leave them what if they forget me again??

Which just adds to the angst because they did that to him

they made him doubt that his kids really love him

so then like, fast forward six-eight months???

oh my god even when they get back together? and get comfy with one another to start having sex again (which takes A WHILE) roger is suddenly. really adamant about using condoms

ugh he’d be sneaky about the condom thing at first too. like. he distracts them? clever fingers, clever mouth, encouraging them to help each otherlike it takes. a Distressing amount of time before finally dom is like I Want You To Fuck Meand that’s when That Whole Thing goes down

she’s like c'mon like how we used to

and roger is like uhhhhh i can’t do that

because you might get uh, pregnant

and the other three can’t think of anything better like yes this will reunite us

an roger can’t think of anything worse because the thought of losing another baby?? he wouldn’t, uh, he wouldn’t survive that

and they’re like????? look if u slept with someone else like. ok that…. hurts. but. get tested and if ur clean it’s fine

and rogers like. no

that’s not the problem

dom has straight up a breakdown about it when she realises what the issue is

because roger is GOOD with kids

roger LOVES babies

but he’s like i do not want to have babies with you because i cannot guarantee that you won’t take the baby from me again

and roger is just sitting here uncomfortable

while dom weeps and john and ronnie are like what the uck is going on

but. he’s not. he’s not comfortable? this doesn’t feel like a family he’s

building for keeps anymore

not really

it feels like something that can, might, will be taken away

he’s like look we can call it what we want but i get it i’m here for sex

and that’s great!! i love sex!! but i’m not going ot risk it

and the baby starts crying and roger sorta. automatically goes to get up before being like. oh. uh. it’s probably better if one of you goes. she. she’s not comfortable around me, she won’t settle if i go in

its not fair to the kids (because that’s who he’s really messed up over)

like they were so upset and it’s not fair to have them have to like, be separated form their homes and from their parents

roger is just so natural around the kids?

like u honestly wouldn’t even notice that he’d been gone

he slips right back in

he’s a bit distant for a few days, learning the new routines, new schedules, new favourites, new dislikes

but once he’s got it? he’s back in there

but just. flinching away from the casual touches that pass between the four of them

so later dom fucks john and forgets a condom and has a pregnancy scare

and roger is like. weirdly……. fine

and dom is like??????? what the hell ur ok with this??? if i am pregnant?

and roger is like…… i haven’t decided yet

and dom’s like wtf do u mean? and he’s like. it would be a dick move of me to just leave ig. so perhaps we could separate but i’d stay living here in a separate room from the three of you?

and ronnie is like? those are the only two options for you

we’ve been back together for like eight months

and rogers like? and we were separated for over a year

i’m still not sure if this is real

AND THEN

freddie calls john one night like. a month or so after the condom revelation (which they’ve all been. sorta sadly going along with? like it ruins the mood a little bit each time bc it’s a reminder that something’s a little bit broken here), and is like. look. i. i really shouldn’t be telling you this? but i think he’ll end up regretting it because i. god knows WHY but i have faith that you guys are all gonna pull thru this. but rog’s munich trip next week for the cross? yeah he’s booked in for a vasectomy.like he wouldn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to make it a Big Deal

and they’re SO UPSET but they’re like we can’t tell him not to because…if he wants to, he wants to

So when he comes back from munich

they think he had a vasectomy

John is like how does one check for that?? Does his penis look different???

Does his sperm taste different?? How would we know???

but one night he just goes to ronnie Just bends her right over and is like let’s do this and it’s the hottest sex they’ve had

like they have INSANELY HOT SEX and they’re all. laying there. happy and sated. rog is curled up in the middle super asleep and the three of them are just all wide awake staring at the ceiling like huh. what feels weird

and then they realize and they’re like he didn’t use a condom so that means…..

and then they just PANIC

Like ROGER

ROGER YOUR CONDOM

and he’s like oh my godddd shut up i’ve gotta be up for swimming lessons in like. five hours oh my god

and ronnie is like maybe he did maybe he didn’t but like YES YOUR SWIMMERS ARE THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW

THEY MIGHT BE SWIMMING

IN ME

ROGER

and roger is like is…that a problem???

and like they’re panicked bc!!!! he REALLY didn’t want any more kids!!!! they don’t wanna fuck with that they’re finally in a good place again!!!!!

and roger is like, sorry, guess i should have talked to you guys about having another kid???

but ye he’s. secure again. and their youngest is like. older now. he misses babies. and also miami still got all the old paperwork

and they’re like wait….so you didn’t get the vasectomy???

and roger is like lol no

so like, oops, ronnie, you uh, might be uh…pregnant

and they all just sort of fall on top of him because while they’re still not perfect

it’s a start

they have like, five more kids afterwards

also

veronica, the trooper, still having fucking babies into the mid 90s

god bless her

Veronica’s uterus is the real MVP

#hit me up if you want the other 85 pages lol #john/veronica/roger/dominique #John Deacon #roger taylor #dominique beyrand #veronica tetzlaff #caro writes #hot space angst #answered asks

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fuck-customers · 6 years

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Karma is a B word

So, a follow up to my submission. Coworker royally screwed up. Sorry this is seriously long

So its 11/17 and normally I take Saturdays off, since i'm part time only and I know it helps the full time people get their hours. But my manager had asked me the day before if I could work, so I said sure (more hours means more money for Christmas gifts for my kid). I come in at 7am to help package n bake with the main baker that day. About 730 I'm chatting with her on what she wants me to do next when coworker (we will call her C to make it easier) comes waltzing in. Now, I know she's supposed to be in at 10, it says so on her schedule and its also why I offered to work 7am to 11, to minimize our time together so it won't cause drama. Guess what ya'll I was wrong!

She sees me and I can see her shut down IMMEDIATELY like I had just given her a big gift of sh*t. She mutters some excuse of "store manager wants me to do a hand drawn sign" n bolts! I look at my baker like "oh lord here we go!"

Now, her job isn't to do signs even though I'll admit they look great. It ESPECIALLY isn't her DANG job if we're on holiday weekend before Thanksgiving and her coldcase needs to be filled and backups done. But whatever I figure it can't possibly take her more than a few hours n by than I'd be gone n she could do her actual job without me around to "bother" her.

Our bakery manager comes in @10, looks around for C n we inform her she's in the front office doing a sign and has come in at 7am. She sighs but doesn't do anything about it (love my manager to bits but that's literally the only thing that drives us all nuts, is that she won't confront C about this kinda nonsense).

Fast forward to about 12ish. I'm trying to help package at this point because we are busy, and manager was ok with me staying later than planned. Cold case is starting to get noticeable holes from items sold, n C is still up front. I offer to do coldcase but manager tells me no it's fine, its C's job after all.

We get our asm in and is like "district manager is in the store!" Like, k that's normal this time of year. So we all put our "we love this soul sucking job" faces on n I'm still like "C isn't back are you sure you don't want me staying coldcase?" She shakes her head n says just to keep putting product out.

DM n all the stores' asms and our SM are now walking around, making sure everything looks as it should for a busy weekend before a major holiday. I see his face right as he spots the coldcase from our furthest tables, a brief frown. Halfway through his table walking C thinks NOW she should be doing her job, like almost 5 hours later n gets her uniform on right as DM gets closer. Its clear he sees her and at this point I excuse myself to the bathroom cause I know something is gonna happen.

I come back to see C and our ASM talking, C is starting to get teary eyed n upset. I keep working cause I don't have time, sadly, to watch this TV drama unfold. But I catch ASM: "you need to to go home C." "WHAT!? HOW IS THIS MY FAULT, WHY AM I IN TROUBLE!?" in between grabbing rolls from the freezer to put out. C grabs her stuff and storms out crying.

Bakery manager is like "uhhhhh I know I said don't do the cold case but can u please start it? We appearntly have a REGIONAL manager from corporates head office coming in any minute". I bust out super worker mode at this point (thankfully it's big ticket items missing so i can easily plug them in asap n fluff uo the coldcase). But our ASM stops me n goes "hey, your manager n I just want to let you know, we have your back about C. We're sorry about this" like FINALLY YOU'RE SEEING HER BS THAT WE'VE (other bakers n i)BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT!

So after much discussion I find out C wants out of the bakery because "no one wants me here anyways!!" Like, I mean yeah we don't if you won't DO YOUR JOB LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO!! And also the asm is mad he believed her little lies n pitty stories she's been feeding him to look good. Turns out not only was she told to go home by our asm, but the DM, whom she's been a kissass to for years, ALSO told her to go home!

Tldr: co worker sets herself up for karma and gets sent home for not doing her job, thus proving everything I've been telling my managers.

#tw #trigger warning #submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #happy ending #fuck co-workers #fuck retail #embarrassing #server problems #call center problems #fuck coworkers #fuck managers #retail justice #retail law #crying #yelling #cursing #submission

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exhoe-imagines · 6 years

Text

Can’t Hold Back

Summary: When your mom hires the infamous fuckboy from your school, Kim Jongdae, as your pool boy for the summer, your peaceful vacation plans are drastically changed.

Pairing: Jongdae x Female!Reader

Word Count: 13.1k

Warnings: Slow burn, pining, slight enemies to lovers, drinking, skinny dipping, smut, pool sex, oral (female receiving), slight jealous/possessive!Jongdae

A/N: So,,,, this happened. Let’s just say Jongdae’s blonde hair and the whole Ko Ko Bop summer vibe really inspired this, and I couldn’t help but write it. It really wasn’t supposed to be this long but clearly, I’m more whipped for Jongdae than I thought !! Thank you to Haley aka @rosecheol for beta-reading (u are the bomb) and Jewels for helping me with the title !! ~ Admin Ruby

“So, where’s your trip to this weekend?” you asked your mother.

With late July rolling around, it brought along with it not only hot summer days, but the chance to expand business to new up and coming companies. It wasn’t unusual for your mom to be out of the house often, on what you liked to call, “paid vacations.”

“The boss wants me in Chicago this time,” your mom responded, mouth fitted in a tight line, wary of your reaction.

Like she expected, you let out a disappointed groan.

It wasn’t fair – how she spent all summer, and most of the year, traveling across the country to all the places you dreamed of visiting. You wanted to be out, exploring the best tourist locations and checking out the well-known scenery, not holed up at home waiting for something exciting to happen.

You had tried to convince your mom to bring you along on her last trip, one to Seattle, but she didn’t budge. The company only allowed the employee to go, and she reminded you that you wouldn’t have had fun anyway being stuck in the hotel.

“I’m sorry darling.” Your mom halted her packing to look up at you. Her words sounded apologetic, and slightly hesitant. She hated leaving you home alone for days at a time, but she didn’t have much of a choice. “How about when I get back, we plan a trip, just the two of us?”

“Are you serious?” She nodded with a smile, a softer one this time, and you grinned back.

At least there would be one good thing to look forward to this summer.

She left the next morning with a rushed kiss pressed against your forehead as she recited the house rules she told you every time she left. You could almost mouth along to her words as she told you that you could have friends over if you wanted, as long as they didn’t break anything, and you kept the house clean.

“And call me if anything happens, ok?” She reminded you hurriedly, worry evident in her tone. Her doubts weren’t necessary, though; you were unlikely to get into any trouble while she was gone.

As you finished helping her stuff her bags into the backseat of the car her company had sent to pick her up, she pulled you into a quick hug. You squeezed her tightly before pulling away, eyebrows furrowing as you noticed the frown on her face.

“There was something else I wanted to tell you,” she explained, tiredly rubbing the bridge of her nose as if that would make the thought return to her mind.

“If you forgot it, I’m sure it was nothing important,” you assured her, and she seemed hesitant to brush the topic off, but finally did with a sigh.

“Now get in the car.” You ushered her in with a chuckle, waiting until she rolled down the window to continue. “You’re gonna miss your flight if you wait any longer.”

She looked down at her watch with wide eyes and gasped. “You’re right.” She quickly told the chauffeur she was ready before her gaze jumped back to catch yours, and she blew you a kiss. “I love you. Stay out of trouble.”

“No promises,” you teased, laughing at her shocked expression as the car started to pull away. With one last wave, it was heading down the street, finally disappearing as it turned a corner.

It was surprising how quiet the house was as you walked back in. You weren’t wearing shoes, but your footsteps were still able to be heard as you padded across the wooden floor. The silence was uncomfortable, and your itch to start your weekend off, despite it only being Thursday, was growing stronger, so you decided to have a movie marathon.

You snuggled up on the living room couch with a blanket and snacks. The Netflix logo occupied the television screen, and you scrolled your phone as you waited for it to load up.

I could invite Baekhyun over, you thought of your best friend absentmindedly. I doubt he’s doing anything exciting on a Thursday night.

You quickly opened your texts with him, sending him a quick message.

You: Movie night @ my place?

Barely thirty seconds passed before he had sent you a text back, his response making you frown.

Baek: Can’t :( Family cookout 2night

You let out a sigh in sympathy for him. He had never liked family parties, and you doubted this one was going any more splendidly than usual, especially since his aunts, uncles, and even cousins were probably staring disapprovingly at the bright pink color he had dyed his hair for the summer.

You: Oof, sorry 2 hear that :( Good luck!

You received another sad emoji in response but didn’t bother texting back. Knowing his parents, he probably wasn’t allowed to be on his phone anyway.

You set down your phone, eyes drifting back to your TV screen as you decided to start your movie marathon alone. You hadn’t seen any of the films you had picked out before, always being too busy during the school year to find time to watch them, so this was the perfect opportunity.

When the third movie rolled around, however, the plot far more boring than the previous two, you couldn’t fight back the sleepiness creeping up on you. Before you knew it, you had fallen asleep on the couch.

You woke up with sore neck and back, but it didn’t take away from your weekend excitement, and when late evening finally rolled around, you got ready for a relaxing swim.

Before jumping in the water, however, you snapped a couple pictures of the pool, your swimsuit, and a cute selfie and uploaded them. The posts oddly got a few more likes than your usual pictures, but you scoffed seeing that the extra hearts had been a few fuckboys from your previous year classes. They never seemed to pay attention to your posts unless you included a selfie, or in this case, a selfie and a bathing suit pic.

You scrolled through their comments with narrowed eyes, almost laughing at how visibly desperate for attention they all were. Some guy named Yifan from your English class threw a bunch of fire emojis in his comment, while a kid you seemed to always get in your P.E. class every year, Luhan, left “invite me over for a swim sometime ;)”.

You ignored the comments with a cringe, clicking out of the app.

The sun had started to lower at this point, and the sky was left a hazy pink, splotched with clouds. It was the perfect time and temperature for an evening swim, so you set your stuff down and tiptoed over to the pool. The water was slightly chilly as you dipped your toe in, but you knew it wouldn’t be as bad once you got in.

Slowly, you lowered yourself into the water, wading deeper as your body adjusted to the cool feeling. At first you slowly walked around the pool, but soon you were starting to swim around the edges, lazily completing a few laps.

In less than 20 minutes the sun had almost completely dropped from the horizon, and you cursed the summer’s fluctuating time patterns. You didn’t feel like getting out of the pool just yet, but you knew you’d have to go in soon.

There wasn’t much to do without anyone else there, but then your mind wandered to an idea.

Maybe a quick skinny dip before heading inside wouldn’t be so bad.

Your blood rushed to your face at the thought alone, but it sounded exciting. Exactly what you needed to amp up your weekend. It wasn’t something you did often, but it was dark, and you were home alone, so why not?

First, you shyly peeled off your bra piece, covering your chest with your hands as you glanced around the backyard. You slowly lowered yourself into the water until just your neck and up were above the water line. Sure, it wasn’t like anyone was going to see you, but your conscious still told you to be careful, just in case.

Next was your bikini bottom which you were slightly more hesitant to remove. You worked the fabric down your legs, before tossing it on the side of the pool, close enough that you could quickly grab it if needed.

It took a couple minutes before you felt entirely comfortable, but once you did, you giggled to yourself and swam around the pool, adrenaline running through your veins. You felt like nothing could bring you down in that moment.

Until, you heard shuffling by the back gate.

Immediately, your blood ran cold. The gate wasn’t hard to open, with no lock there preventing a burglar from breaking in if they tried hard enough. A hushed voice was barely audible from around the wall, but it was enough of a confirmation that you needed to get out of there.

Knowing that you wouldn’t be able to grab and put on your swimsuit in time, you hurriedly looked around for your towel, cursing when you saw it hanging across the back of the chair you had been sitting in earlier on the other side of the pool.

The footsteps grew closer, louder, shoes crunching on the pebbles by the back door.

“Minseok!” A hissed word and another step. “It’s not like I’m breaking in. I’ll be working here tomorrow anyway.”

The name sounded familiar, but you gave yourself no time to think about it as you pushed yourself to the other side of the pool, holding your breath and hoping that the small waves you were making weren’t loud enough to be heard.

“Of course no one is home, I’m not an idiot.” The voice spoke again, slightly louder this time, and into a phone, you assumed, since you hadn’t heard anyone else speaking. “There weren’t any cars in the driveway, and the owner mentioned something about a business trip.”

Oh, how wrong they are, you thought as you reached for your towel, fingertips barely grazing the fabric as you stretched further. You cursed and lunged for it again, barely grasping it in your hand before you heard a gasp.

“Minseok…” You turned quickly, eyes widening as you saw Jongdae, one of the countless fuckboys from your school staring at you with a smirk.

“I’m gonna need to call you back.”

You were fairly sure all your neighbors heard your deafening scream as you fell back into the pool, hands scrambling to wrap around your chest as you glared up at Jongdae, a mixture of fear and anger coursing through your veins.

You knew him. You knew the guy breaking into your backyard. That thought, combined with the fact that he didn’t seem to be holding a weapon, made you slightly less terrified. He was completely harmless, as far as you knew, unless you counted the endless number of pranks he pulled on all the unsuspecting students and staff members at the school.

“What are you doing here?” You hissed as you curled into yourself. Jongdae held up his hand, telling you to wait while he ended his call. Your glare hardened. You heard the person on the other end, Minseok presumably, yelling through the phone as Jongdae pulled it away from his ear, ending the call with a roll of his eyes.

“Sorry, what’d you say?’ Jongdae returned his attention to you, bright teeth exposing with a grin.

You wanted to knock that smile off his face. How dare he break in to your backyard, and then have the audacity to stand there like he hadn’t done anything wrong?

“I said, what the hell are you doing here?”

He looked around, brown eyes widening as if he just now noticed he was standing in your backyard, uninvited. His gaze nervously returned to meet your furious one, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“I, uh--” Jongdae’s eyes drifted down from your face, and you self consciously wrapped your arms around yourself tighter as he looked at the pool, realization dawning on his features, “I’m here to clean your pool! Yes, that’s why I’m here. I was… hired, that’s the word I was looking for.”

You almost forgot you were standing practically naked in front of your classmate as you stared at him suspiciously.

“We didn’t hire a pool boy,” you scoffed. “Or, at least, I didn’t,” you continued with a mumble, half to yourself. Jongdae seemed to catch your words since he broke out in a chuckle.

“You’re telling me your mom didn’t tell you that’d I’d be over?” He smirked, and you felt your anger increasing.

“Trust me,” you spat, “if my mom told me I’d have to deal with your annoying ass for the rest of summer, I’d remember.”

Jongdae feigned hurt, but you just ignored him and continued.

“If you’re here to clean the pool, why didn’t you just talk to me like a normal person and come through the front door?” you asked, still wary of his intentions.

“Well,” he nervously tapped his fingers against his thigh. “I would have… tomorrow.” Your confused expression forced him to continue, and he let out a heavy sigh. “My job technically starts tomorrow, but I thought...” he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

“No, please.” You crossed your arms, still effectively covering your chest. “Continue.”

Jongdae pouted, blowing out a huff of air before he relented. “I thought I could drop by to get a quick look at the pool.” At your shocked expression, he held his hands out in front of him, shaking them quickly. “I wasn’t going to steal anything or hurt anyone, I swear! I didn’t even know you were home. I thought the house was empty.”

“Yeah, I heard.” You could’ve sworn you’d see an embarrassed blush spreading across Jongdae’s cheeks if not for the dim lighting. “Anyway, you do realize I could technically fire you for this, right?” You threatened, relishing in the surprised look on Jongdae’s face.

It was so tempting. Here was one of the most annoying boys from your school, standing in your backyard, the fate of his summer job in your hands. You wouldn’t even feel guilty doing it. He deserved it for breaking in and scaring the shit out of you. You could call the cops if you really wanted to, but he wasn’t worth the trouble, and you wanted to handle him yourself. “It’s not like my mother would be angry, not after I told her what you did.” Jongdae almost looked fearful now.

“Look,” Jongdae cut you off, and it was amusing seeing his usual confidence fade with every word he spoke. “How about you just get out of the pool, and we can talk this through?”

You stiffened up. You had been so distracted by Jongdae, you almost forgot you were swimming naked in front of him. It didn’t seem like he noticed; he had been too involved in his phone call to see it earlier, and considering it was dark, your body was hidden under the water.

You froze, subconsciously lowering yourself deeper in the water. Your eyes darted over to your swimsuit, still laying on the pool edge, before you looked back at Jongdae quickly. It was too late though, his eyes had already followed your previous line of gaze, and his scared demeanor completely flipped as he smirked.

“Oh.” He walked over to the other side of the pool, steps maddeningly slow. You sunk lower into the pool. A slow, painful death by drowning would be better than the embarrassment you were facing now.

His leaned down, fingers curling around your bikini bottoms, before he lifted the damp red fabric into the air.

“What is this?” He teased, eyes twinkling as he looked at you.

“Give that to me!” You snapped, lunging at him, but immediately cowered back when his eyes darted down to focus on your chest as it began to rise above the water. You scowled. It was final. You needed Kim Jongdae out of your backyard, and fast.

“You know,” He stuffed the red bikini bottoms into his back pocket. “I don’t think I will.”

The pure shock and fury clouding your mind prevented you from speaking as you stared at him, mouth gaping.

“Let’s make a deal,” Jongdae began. “You don’t bring this night up to anyone, let me keep my job, and I won’t tell anyone that you invited me over for a late night skinny dip.”

You gulped. If the rest of the school thought you invited Jongdae, a known player, over, you’d never hear the end of it. Sure, you weren’t insanely popular, but you had a reputation to uphold, and you weren’t going to let that be ruined by a stupid lie.

“Fine,” you agreed hesitantly.

Jongdae didn’t seem too surprised by your answer, like he knew you’d say yes. You weren’t shocked by your own response, either: he had given you no choice.

“Well, with that settled, I’ll be on my way.” Jongdae bid you one last tilt of his head, along with a wink, before he began to head to the back gate. Your eyes widened as you hurriedly paddled over to the edge of the pool, calling out to him.

“Can’t you at least give me my bathing suit back?” you yelled.

Jongdae peered his head around the corner wall, pretending to think for a second before he shook his head. “Nope. If you break our deal, I need some proof.”

You were about to argue, knowing you couldn’t break the deal since he could convince the school of anything with his level of popularity, but he had already disappeared, the sound of the gate falling shut sounding his departure.

You huffed angrily.

You had already dealt with him throughout the school year, but the two of you rarely spoke. He was in a couple of your classes, but he never bothered you, and you only heard about him through rumors that other kids spread. He didn’t seem harmful-- annoying, yes, but not harmful. It’d be easy to ignore him, even if he were at your house a couple times a week. As long as he kept up his side of this deal, and you kept yours, he’d leave you alone.

Maybe, you thought, hoped, just maybe, this summer wouldn’t be so bad.

Oh, how wrong you had been.

When you woke up, all the previous night’s decisions came flooding back to you, and you rolled out of bed with a groan. There was a terrible, nagging feeling of regret deep in the pit of your stomach, but you also knew that there was no avoiding the situation, and you’d have to face Jongdae when he showed up.

Which happened to be around noon.

He had the courtesy to knock on the door this time, grinning confidently at you when you opened it.

“I’ll be in the back, so try not to freak out if you see me there like last time,” he taunted, but you brushed it off. The only way you were going to get through the rest of these next few months would be to ignore him at every moment possible. Getting into any type of conversation with him, good or bad, would lead you down a path you didn’t want to explore.

“I don’t care,” you sighed, “Just let me know when you’re leaving so I can pay you or whatever.”

Jongdae opened his mouth, but you gave him no chance to speak again as you slammed the door closed in his face. You wanted him gone, so the sooner he completed his job, the better.

He didn’t make any effort to regain your attention, so you assumed he had already gone around to the back. With a relieved sigh, you headed down the hall, intent on pretending he didn’t exist while you got ready for the day.

It wasn’t until you were done getting cleaned up and walking out of the bathroom that you realized it probably wasn’t a good idea to leave Jongdae unsupervised by the pool. He had just broken in the night before.

You cursed, quickly walking into the living room which luckily provided a view outside through the glass back door. Trying to be inconspicuous, you casually flopped onto the couch, pretending to scroll your phone. From the corner of your eye you could see Jongdae outside, staring confusedly at the pool net in his hands. You turned slightly to see him better as he began to skim the top of the water, catching leaves and other debris in the basket.

He had to go over a few areas a couple times to catch what he had previously missed, but it seemed like he was actually trying, which surprised you. You looked over at him every couple minutes, making sure he wasn’t messing anything up, but didn’t stare too long for it to be obvious.

It wasn’t until he started to use the pool vacuum that you knew you’d need to intervene. You were no pool expert, but you were fairly sure that the hose was not supposed to go there, and Jongdae looked beyond confused as he attempted to attach the pole to the head.

With a huff, you pushed yourself off the couch, pacing over to the back door before opening it.

Jongdae’s head whipped up, the corner of his lips upturned in a nervous smile as you stared at him. Both of your eyes then dropped to the scattered plastic pieces of the vacuum on the ground, and Jongdae quickly stepped in front of them as if that would hide them from your view.

“I’m just, uh, putting this all together,” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. It was obvious, if not from the look on his face, but the poorly assembled equipment, that he had no idea what he was doing.

You’d think a guy trying to get a job as a pool boy would actually research how to clean a pool, you thought with a sigh as you stepped outside, closing the back door behind you. Jongdae stayed still in place as you approached him.

“Look, I don’t want you here, and I doubt you want to be here either, so let’s just figure this out so you can get your job done and leave.” Your tone was slightly harsher than you had anticipated, but it was the truth. A person like Jongdae surely had a busy summer planned, hanging out with friends and attending parties, and you didn’t want to be the one he blamed if he couldn’t do that. You, on the other hand, just wanted to get back to your relaxing Saturday without feeling like you were babysitting a child that required constant supervising.

If you had been paying enough attention, you would’ve noticed the slightly hurt look that took over Jongdae’s face, but he quickly covered it up with a neutral expression as he nodded. You whipped out your phone, looking up how to assemble a pool vacuum, making a pleased sound when you found a detailed description.

“Here we go!” You smirked triumphantly. Jongdae’s eyebrows raised, and he quickly came to stand behind you, looking over your shoulder at the illustrated diagram. You tried to ignore the way his body heat radiated against you due to your proximity, and the way you could feel his breath against your neck, making the hairs on your nape raise up.

You turned the screen towards him, so he could see it better, and he stayed silent as his eyes darted between the instructions and the pieces on the ground. You did the same, before handing him the phone and dropping to your knees to try to piece a couple of the pieces together based on what you had read. Jongdae kneeled next to you, reciting the steps as best he could, while you attempted to put everything together. It was easier than it looked, and the two of you only messed up a few more times before you had a perfectly assembled pool vacuum.

“Well,” you stood with a grunt, wiping your hands off on your shorts before grabbing your phone back. “That should do it. I’m heading in now.”

Jongdae, now holding the cleaner handle in his hands, looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Are you sure? What if I get into something while you’re gone?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. He smirked. It was clear if you left him alone, you’d come to regret it. There was no trusting Jongdae, which meant he was unfortunately right, you’d have to watch over him until he left.

“Fine,” you huffed. “I’m grabbing a book though, one sec.” You quickly stepped over to the door, swinging it open before turning back to him with a glare. “If you break something before I come back, I’m firing you for real.”

You were only a few steps into the house before you heard Jongdae’s yelled reply, his signature smirk visibly heard in his words. “Can’t do that, Kitten. It’s against our rules.”

You ignored his comment, hoping he thought you were too far away to hear it, and you convinced yourself that the warm flush of your skin was from the few moments spent outside, not the nickname rolling off his tongue.

There were a lot of things you regretted about your acquaintance with Jongdae, but staying outside with him had to be the worst decision you had made thus far.

It had started out fine. Jongdae was shockingly quiet, letting you focus on your book while he cleaned the pool. You looked over the top of your pages every few minutes, making sure he stayed focus, but ultimately you got distracted by your book, and quickly read through a couple chapters. It wasn’t until you were turning another page, that you realized the rustling of paper was louder than Jongdae himself, something that made you slit your eyes in suspicion.

Jongdae was never quiet, and if he was, then he was planning something.

You quietly bookmarked your page by folding the corner, but didn’t close the book, pretending to read it while your eyes flickered to focus on Jongdae. He was humming to himself as he pushed the vacuum around the bottom of the pool, still entirely focus on his tasks like before.

Maybe I was just overreacting, you thought, and were about to resume your reading when it happened.

Jongdae balanced the handle of the cleaner onto the inside side of the pool, before he stretched his arms above his head with a sigh, a satisfied mewl leaving his lips as his bones cracked into place. Then, his arms moved back to his neck, and before you could blink, he had grabbed the back hem of his shirt, and pulled it over his head.

You softly gasped as tan, toned skin came into view, mouth opening wider as Jongdae turned around with a bright, teasing smile, sending you a wink.

Immediately, your eyes fitted back to your book, the words on the page blurring together as you tried to concentrate on them. Faintly, you heard Jongdae chuckle at your reaction before he turned back to his work, the muscles on his arms visibly flexing as he stretched them.

Of course he had to be attractive. Of course the guy you were expected to ignore the entire summer, the guy who would be at your house every week, had to have the broadest shoulders you had ever seen in your life.

Jongdae was not a polite person either, and it was obvious in his actions, which seemed overly dramatic as he tried to gain a reaction from you. He used his thin shirt to wipe off the sweat on the back of his neck, before throwing the damp white fabric down to the ground. You would’ve scolded him, but you couldn’t speak, mouth still parted slightly as you gulped.

You couldn’t let him get to you though. If he caught you staring or if you offered him any acknowledgement, Jongdae would never let you live it down. He had already showed his intentions with the bet, and they weren’t the purest.

With that reminder in mind, you turned back to your book, and hoped that Jongdae wouldn’t do anything too extravagant for the rest of the evening.

Luckily, the rest of Jongdae’s shift passed by quietly. You were on the last page of your chapter, in the heart of the climax, when the sound of rustling fabric had your eyes drifting from your book. Jongdae, now fully clothed much to your relief, was working on putting the pool vacuum back to its spot in your backyard shed.

After assuring it was put away carefully, Jongdae walked back over to stand in front of you.

“I’m gonna head out now.” He yawned, rolling his head to stretch his neck. You nodded, waiting for him to hurry up and leave, but he continued to stand there, now looking at you expectantly. You stared right back, confusion evident in your expression when he scoffed.

“Hard work doesn’t come free sweetheart,” he reminded you, and you could barely keep yourself from rolling your eyes. He had cleaned your pool, with your help no less, and he was still so convinced that his work was something awe-inspiring.

“Fine, let me go grab my wallet.” You stood up from your chair with a huff, rage practically boiling in your veins. Not only was Jongdae blackmailing you out of enjoying your summer break, but he also had to take money from you too? He couldn’t just wait until your mom got back and could actually pay him his promised wage? No, he had to take it directly from you.

You quickly went to your room, moving around the stuff on your desk as you searched for your wallet. Faintly, you heard Jongdae yell something from outside, but you ignored it, frustration growing. You had barely been gone for 30 seconds, couldn’t he have waited another minute?

Finally, under your bag, you found your wallet. You quickly pulled a couple bills from it, cringing as you held $50 in your hands. It should’ve been enough, you hoped, but if it wasn’t, you didn’t know what you would do. You weren’t going to empty all the spending money from your wallet for Jongdae’s thirty minutes of pool cleaning.

With the few bills clasped tightly between your fingers, you stomped back outside. The door was still open, so you quickly stepped out, eyebrows furrowing as you realized Jongdae was nowhere to be seen. You gave another glance around the backyard, checking by the shed, and side of the house, but he was gone.

It was odd. You still had to pay him, and he had previously been so adamant about the cost of his ‘hard work.’

Now completely sure that Jongdae was gone, no sign of him anywhere outside, you stepped back inside. You knew you’d have to question him about his sudden disappearance the next time he came, but for now you were relieved.

He was out of your hair for the next week at least, and you were still the proud owner of $50.

The following week, you had the opportunity to ask Jongdae, but his response wasn’t something you had expected to hear.

“I didn’t want to take money from you.” He shrugged.

You narrowed your eyes at him, his answer surprisingly kind, but didn’t bother arguing. Your mother had returned from her trip, and she was more than adamant about paying him his promised amount, plus an added tip for waiting so patiently. You bit your tongue to stop yourself from speaking up, from telling her about his whining and what really happened while she was gone.

“It really was no trouble, Miss.” Jongdae grinned, and you could practically hear your mom inwardly wooing over him. He was unfortunately very charming, and it seemed like you were the only one immune to it. “I should be thanking you for giving me this job. It’s really helping me out this summer.”

Your mom laughed his compliment off, smile growing on her face. “Of course, Jongdae. I’m glad I could help out. I’m just sorry I wasn’t here last week to welcome you and show you around.”

Jongdae’s eyes darted over to you, sparkling as he spoke up. “Y/N kept me company.”

You glared at him for half a second, before turning to face your mom with a fake smile. “Yeah, he was in my class last year, so we recognized each other.”

Your mom instantly cooed, going into a ramble about how glad she was that you knew each other. She was practically forcing you to spend more time with Jongdae as she started suggesting the two of you hang out more, so that work would be something he could look forward to. Both you and Jongdae nodded along to her words, and during her incessant chatter, when she wasn’t paying close attention, Jongdae sent you a wink.

It wasn’t hard to understand the meaning behind the gesture. With your mother’s permission, an invitation basically, Jongdae had the possibility to annoy you the whole summer break.

And if you knew anything about the pool boy, then you were sure he’d jump at the chance.

Avoiding Jongdae and pretending he didn’t exist was easier said than done.

On the days he came by and your mother was home, she’d practically usher you outside to keep him company while he worked. She had brought up how cute you two looked together the night after she met him, and you couldn’t fight the embarrassed blush that heated your cheeks as she sent you a wink whenever he arrived.

Since it was likely she was looking outside often to check on you, you tried to keep it civil with Jongdae. The second your mom was gone though, her back turned or her presence gone from the house completely, you wouldn’t hesitate to flip off the pool boy in front of you.

Jongdae was the same way. In front of your mother, he was all eye smiles and sickly sweet words. With you, his grin became more mischievous, his words more teasing.

It was impossible to avoid him even on the days he was gone. The pure frustration of having to deal with him plagued your mind throughout the week, and the idea of him filled your thoughts constantly. You tried to bring up your struggle with Baekhyun, but he only teased you about it, claiming that Jongdae had you so smitten you couldn’t go a second without thinking of him.

That conversation had ended as quickly as it began. There was no way you were falling for Jongdae, not even a little bit. Sure he was attractive, and sure his pet names made your heart flutter, but those were only normal observations and reactions, right?

Whatever affect he was having on you needed to end one way or another. You were determined to not waste your summer break thinking of a guy like him, and it was important for you to spend your days alone doing things that distracted you from the thought of him.

Which is why, when your mom brought up another trip she was taking, you made a plan.

With the help of Baekhyun, you were preparing to throw a party. Summer was at its peak and your house was the perfect place for a crazy night. People could swim, drink, do whatever they pleased really, and there was no risk of a parent shutting it all down.

Baekhyun was beyond excited with the idea, immediately telling all his other friends the plan, and posting about it on his social media accounts. With his large following, it didn’t take long for the date to start circulating.

The day before the party, a calm Thursday afternoon, you headed out to the grocery store with Baekhyun. Your mom had just left for the airport, and you still had to grab snacks and drinks for the party.

“I can’t believe you told so many people about tomorrow,” you laughed, grabbing bags of chips off the shelves and tossing them in your cart. “Do you know how much I’m going to have to spend on food?”

Baekhyun grinned and shrugged. “The more the merrier. And don’t worry, I’ll help pay.”

“You better!” You playfully jabbed your elbow into his side, giggling at the overdramatic gasp of fake pain he let out.

After a few more aisles, you both made it to the drink section. You were in the middle of scolding Baekhyun for how much he was spending on soda, but your bickering was cut off when you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

The voice was too familiar for comfort, and you didn’t turn around until the second time you heard it, not at all surprised when Jongdae came walking up to you. His normal pool shorts and t-shirt combo was nowhere to be seen, and you inwardly cursed at the way the dark tank top and tight black jeans clung to his lean body.

“Hey, fancy seeing you here.” He smirked, looking at you for a second too long before his eyes drifted behind you to where Baekhyun was standing, looking like a deer in headlights as he held the soda bottle in his hands close to his chest.

“It’s a grocery store, lots of people come here,” you shot back.

Jongdae hummed, but you noticed his attention was still on Baekhyun. If you weren’t wrong, it looked almost like he was sizing him up, eyes trailing up and down his figure. There was a look in his eyes you hadn’t seen before, and your best guess for the emotion swirling in his irises was jealousy.

That was highly unlikely though. Jongdae didn’t like you-- that you were sure of.

Baekhyun, noticing the eyes on him, placed the drinks down and looked up at Jongdae. Immediately his normal confidence returned, and he sent an over-enthusiastic grin.

“I’m Baekhyun, Y/N’s best friend.”

It seemed like Jongdae relaxed a bit at the word “friend” but you weren’t sure if your mind was still playing tricks on you or not, so you ignored it.

“Jongdae,” he started, “I work for Y/N’s mom.”

Baekhyun nodded, acting interested as if he hadn’t heard you venting about Jongdae for the past few weeks on end.

“I’ve heard,” Baekhyun offhandedly remarked, not missing the way both your and Jongdae’s eyes widened. While you stood awkwardly, Jongdae regained his composure with a grin, and you could almost see his ego grow as he realized you talked about him.

Hoping to escape from the situation as quietly and quickly as you could, you turned your attention back to Baekhyun.

“Did you get what we needed?” you asked, and Baekhyun nodded, content with the amount of drinks he had hoarded.

Jongdae, now noticing the excess amount of snacks and sodas collected in your cart, raised his eyebrow. “Got something fun planned?”

You began to speak, intent on coming up with any outrageous story you could to throw Jongdae off the tracks of your party. Unfortunately, before you could get a word out, Baekhyun stepped forward with a sly smile sent your way.

“Oh, you didn’t hear? Y/N is having a party at her place tomorrow. We’re grabbing snacks.”

You stiffened up, looking over at Baekhyun and hoping he noticed the desperation in your face. This was going to be your one day away from Jongdae and everything related to him. He couldn’t know!

“Really? I hadn’t heard,” Jongdae remarked, looking over at you with surprise.

Both pairs of eyes were on you now, and you knew you had no way of escaping without speaking up.

“I uh, I really didn’t tell many people about it. Baekhyun did most of the inviting.” It was partly true: gathering people hadn’t been your main objective. You knew Jongdae would still question your motives though, considering the fact that he was over at your place so often.

There wasn’t any time for more excuses or questions though, since Baekhyun seemed ready to end the conversation with a questionable solution.

“You should come, if you’re free tomorrow, of course,” he offered, and Jongdae seemed to consider the proposal before he looked back at you.

“Only if Y/N is ok with it.”

To anyone else, the statement would’ve seemed polite, considerate. You knew what Jongdae was thinking though.

There was no way you could have said no. Surely you would’ve heard a mouthful from Baekhyun if you did, and you still had to deal with Jongdae for another couple weeks, so it was best to stay on his good side.

“Y-yeah, sounds good.” You cleared your throat and nodded.

Jongdae smirked, not at all surprised by your answer. Just like the night at the pool, you had no other choice. He had you in the palm of his hands.

“I’ll see you two tomorrow night then.”

“I cannot believe you invited Jongdae like that!” You scoffed, pouting when Baekhyun chuckled.

You were both standing in front of the mirror in your bathroom, checking over your appearance one last time before the party started. Baekhyun was playing around with his hair, fluffing it as he tried to decide whether to have his bangs pushed back or hanging in his face.

“You wouldn’t have let him come if it weren’t for me,” Baekhyun said.

You stopped fixing your own hair to look over at him. “That was the point.”

Baekhyun shook his head with a laugh, staring at your reflection. “You mean to tell me you have no feelings for him?”

You couldn’t stop the shocked look that erupted over your features. You, having feelings for Jongdae? That was the most outrageous idea you’d ever heard.

“You’ve got to be kidding me Baekhyun.” He shrugged, still not entirely convinced, and you knew you’d need to elaborate.

“Have you seen how he acts? He’s so infuriating, he can’t do his job, and he’s not the type of guy you feel complimented with when he hits on you. Jongdae would flirt with anything that breathed for God’s sake.” You started a rant, the easily noticeable flaws being the first you complained about. It was so easy to get worked up over Jongdae, and you had to stop yourself from bringing up the pool night to Baekhyun.

Sure, you trusted him more than anyone, but he had a tendency to get overly excited about information, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the secret from at least one person who would spread it around.

Baekhyun hummed. “I guess those are valid reasons. You still talk about him a lot though.”

The doorbell rang before you could defend yourself, Baekhyun running off to go greet the guests while you stared in the mirror.

There was no way Jongdae was getting to you, right?

The party was in full swing before you knew it.

Most of Baekhyun’s closer friends had arrived first, which made it easier to ease into the whole situation. You had met a couple of them before, like Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, but soon enough other students starting filing into the living room and kitchen. The poolside was crowded too, with groups of people chatting on the seats outside and others jumping straight into the water.

You had lost sight of Baekhyun a while back, whether he was making out in the bathroom or taking shots, you weren’t sure. You just hoped he didn’t get so wasted he couldn’t help you clean up the aftermath of the party.

For now, you were having fun though. Jongdae was nowhere to be seen, and people all around seemed to be having a good time. A couple kids had snuck some alcohol in, so tipsy partygoers weren’t hard to miss, giggling and stumbling as they danced to the loud music playing.

It was exactly the type of night you had been waiting to have the whole summer break, and you planned to make the most of it. Heading to the kitchen, you mixed up a punch-like drink, mingling with the others in the kitchen while you slowly sipped the fruity concoction.

It wasn’t long before you noticed a tall figure enter the kitchen, not missing the way Yifan’s eyes locked onto your figure. He wasted no time in walking over to you, leaning back against the counter next to you.

“Hey baby, wanna make me a drink too?”

You tried your best not to roll your eyes. It seemed like you couldn’t avoid all the fuckboys tonight. Still, Yifan was good looking, and he would be fun to flirt around with, even if just to distract yourself from another guy on your mind.

“Sure, what do you want?”

Yifan seemed taken back by your agreement, but quickly composed himself. “Whatever you’re having.”

You shrugged but starting making another drink similar to your own. He didn’t seem like the type to want a fruity punch, but it’s what he asked for, and who were you to deny his wishes? It was a little surprising when you handed him the drink, and he seemed pleased with it, drinking it quickly.

You wouldn’t have pegged Yifan as a lightweight, but within a couple minutes, and another drink, he was already red in the face and stumbling slightly. He was laughing at almost everything you said, and you had to admit his gummy smile was pretty cute.

“Y-you look good tonight,” he hiccuped, and you smiled. You were just in a tank top and denim shorts, but you knew it fit you well. You had wanted to wear your new bikini, but with the bottoms missing, courtesy of Jongdae, you had to go for the next best choice.

It didn’t seem to matter to Yifan, though. He was still staring unabashedly at you, dark eyes mainly focused on your lips.

“Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” It wasn’t exactly summer party attire, but the dark jeans and white t-shirt he wore still made him look good. His lips turned up in a lopsided smile at the compliment, and he leaned down to move closer to you.

But like always, the minute you began to enjoy yourself, there was a presence you just couldn’t shake off.

“Y/N, there you are!” Jongdae was quick to enter the kitchen the minute his eyes locked on you, standing far too close to Yifan in his opinion. He was beside you in the blink of an eye, swinging his arm around your shoulder as he faced you, completely ignoring the other man's presence.

You attempted to shrug him off, but he didn’t seem to be letting go of you anytime soon. “Jongdae,” you started, voice stern. “Is there something I can help you with? I’m trying to talk to Yifan here.”

You were not going to let Jongdae ruin your party, so you prayed to every holy entity up above that he wouldn’t need anything urgent, and he’d leave you alone. It was Jongdae you were talking about, though, so you couldn’t be surprised when he spoke up.

“I actually needed to talk to you, in private.” Of course he did.

“Yifan,” you grabbed the boy’s attention, which was slightly hard considering he was spacing out in a drunken haze. “Will you excuse me for a moment?”

He nodded, not seeming at all bothered by Jongdae’s intervention, and you just sighed.

Jongdae muttered some form of thanks before he immediately led you away from the kitchen. You begrudgingly let him pull you into the hallway, where it was slightly quieter than the rest of the house. There were still a couple people leaned against the wall talking though, and Jongdae didn’t seem pleased with that.

“Is there somewhere else we can go?” He asked, and you thought for a moment before looking over to your room. The door was still closed like you had left it, and you hoped no one had gone in for a hookup.

You gestured over to the room. “Come on.”

Jongdae quickly followed, and you looked around a couple times to make sure no one was watching you. You didn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea if they saw the two of you sneaking off together. Luckily, no one was paying attention, so the two of you stepped into the room.

It looked clean and untouched which made you let out a sigh of relief as you sat on the bed. Jongdae was still standing, looking down at you, and you waited for him to tell you what he had wanted to talk about so badly.

“Well?”

He scoffed, leaning against the wall. “Aren’t you glad I saved you from Yifan?”

You raised your eyebrow at him. “Saved? Clearly you didn’t notice that I was having fun then, Jongdae.”

Jongdae was the surprised one now, looking at you like you were speaking another language. “If you think you were going to get anything out of that conversation, you’re wrong, Kitten. Those types of guys only want one thing. You should know that.”

Immediately, you stood up from the bed, intent on leaving. It wasn’t fair for him to speak to you that way, as if you were completely ignorant to the thoughts going through teenage boy’s heads. Of course you knew the type of guy Yifan was, a fuckboy, just like Jongdae. That didn’t mean you were going to jump his bones in five seconds. You had barely flirted with him.

“I’m not listening to this.” You went to open the door, but Jongdae pushed against it, making you huff. “You’re unbelievable.”

“No,” he started. “Not until you listen to me.”

You crossed your arms, ready to hear whatever bullshit he wanted to spew if it meant you could leave.

“You have to be careful with those guys, Y/N.” His voice was softer now, as if he were truly concerned for your wellbeing. He started to lean closer, words coming out in a quiet murmur. “They aren’t always the safest to be around.”

You tried to move back, but hit the door, Jongdae effectively invading your space. “Those types of guys? Like you, you mean?” You were expecting him to argue back, his normal snark to enter the conversation like it usually did. He just nodded slightly though, moving closer until you could feel his breath as he spoke.

“Yeah… guys like me.” His expression seemed controlled, but you could see him internally fighting with whatever thoughts were battling in his mind. “We can’t control ourselves sometimes.”

He let out a sigh after the words, and you scrunched your nose when you smelled the alcohol on his breath. No wonder he was acting so different.

“Have you been drinking?” You questioned, and weren’t surprised when he nodded. “You should go easy on the alcohol,” you warned him. Despite slightly liking this more caring side of Jongdae, you could also see that, when tipsy, he seemed to be even more prone to getting into trouble.

Your suspicions were confirmed when Jongdae laughed your suggestion off, moving until your bodies were just inches away. “Mhm, you shouldn’t worry about me. I’ll be careful. I just need to look out for you.” His hand moved upward to push away a strand of your hair away from your face, before he let his palm rest on your cheek. You knew you should’ve pulled away, should’ve sat down Jongdae with a glass of water, but your cheek was tingling, and you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into his electrifying touch. Maybe it was the liquid courage running through both of your veins, but there seemed to be a magnet between you two.

Jongdae’s thumb lightly traced your cheekbone. “Here I am telling you to be careful, warning you about other guys, when I’m the greatest threat.”

“Why is that?” You questioned.

He chuckled, tilting down his head so your lips were centimeters from touching.

“Because I’m the one that can’t hold back.”

There were no more words exchanged before your lips met, just a soft hesitant press at first. It was completely uncharted territory in your relationship, if it could even be considered that, and neither of you were confident enough to make the first move.

It wasn’t until you lightly gripped onto the hem of Jongdae’s shirt, a silent confirmation of what was happening, that his normal assertive mannerisms returned, his hand tipping your chin up so he could capture your lips better. The kiss itself was still sweet, your lips pressing perfectly together and moving in sync.

There was a second when you pulled away, as you caught your breath, and eyes connected, that a comfortable silence passed between you. Regret wasn’t visible from either of you, and that assurance had you wrapping your arms around his neck, Jongdae’s hands drifting down to grip at your waist.

The second time your lips met, all the pent up emotions and feelings between you two was tangible-- frustration, attraction, pining, and all the teasing-- twisting around the two of you like rope. Your fingers dug into the hair on Jongdae’s nape as he nibbled on your bottom lip, pulling it slightly before soothing over it with his tongue.

His own fingers dug into your waist when you returned the gesture, a slight gasp escaping his lips. It was the perfect opportunity and you immediately snuck your tongue into his mouth, letting it explore every area it could reach. It surprised you that Jongdae was letting you have this much control over the kiss, but you weren’t complaining. The feeling of him practically melting under your touch had you feeling more confident by the minute.

It wasn’t until you both pulled away, catching your breaths, that the reality of the situation hit you. It seemed to be an instant concern for the both of you, Jongdae looking at you like he couldn’t believe what just happened, the surprised expression reflected on your face.

“Shit,” he breathed, taking a step back, and insecurities immediately began to flood your thoughts. You awkwardly wrapped your arms around yourself, already missing the warm touch you had just experienced seconds earlier.

Disheveled and still in slight shock, Jongdae pushed back his blonde hair away from his forehead with a sigh. “I should go.”

Your heart dropped. Of course you had made the wrong decision. He had just been lecturing you on the negative impacts giving into a fuckboy would have, yet here you stood, lips swollen and hair messy from making out with one.

He grabbed for the door handle, and you moved away, letting him open it before rushing out, the door quickly closing behind him. You wasted no time collapsing against the wood, letting out a deep exhale.

Hesitantly, you raised your hand, fingertips brushing against your lips. If you focused hard enough, you could still feel his lips against yours. You could still feel the passion in his touch.

It soon faded cold however. The situation had sobered you up, and the regret was flooding your body. You didn’t know how you had let yourself get to this point, making out with Jongdae, in your room no less.

If anything, his sudden hesitation was a blessing in surprise. Who knows how far you would’ve gone if neither of you had thought about it.

The “what if’s” ran through your brain in a frenzy, but the main question you had for yourself overpowered them all.

Did this mean you liked Jongdae? And if so, what happened next?

You waited a few minutes before leaving the room, both to compose yourself, and also so you didn’t come rushing out right after Jongdae, which surely would have warranted some unwanted questions from anyone watching.

Baekhyun was standing out in the hall when you crept out of the room, leaning against the wall and conversing with Chanyeol. You lightly tapped on his shoulder when you came up behind him, and he turned to you with a smile.

“Have you seen Jongdae?” You questioned, cutting straight to the chase.

Baekhyun seemed surprised by your question, but shook his head. “No, I didn’t even know he was here tonight.”

You let out a small sigh of relief. He must have left.

“What about Yifan?” The guilt of leaving him alone in the kitchen ran back to you, and you had to make sure he was alright. He had been pretty tipsy last you saw him.

It was Chanyeol who spoke up that time. “I saw one of his friends helping him home. He was pretty wasted.”

The words helped you to relax a bit. Knowing he was safe was one thing, but knowing you wouldn’t have to deal with either guy for the rest of the night was really helping your nerves.

Baekhyun seemed to notice your off behavior, and sent you a sympathetic look before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “We should get some drinks, what do you think?”

Your eager nod had both Baekhyun and Chanyeol chuckling, and the three of you headed to the kitchen. You were sure you’d have a killer hangover the following day, but if it meant forgetting half of the night, then you were willing to deal with it.

With that in mind, you tossed back the drinks, hoping you could swallow away the regret.

Unfortunately, in your drunken and regretful daze, you failed to remember that the following day was Saturday, which meant Jongdae would be coming by for work. Around noon, like always, the doorbell rang, but this time, you were still in bed, head pounding and beyond exhausted.

Faintly, you hoped it was your mom coming home early. You would’ve rather dealt with her walking in on the party stricken household than with Jongdae. You and Baekhyun had tidied up the place as much as you could last night, but with how tipsy you two were, you had barely been able to throw away the trash before passing out. Luckily, Chanyeol was able to get Baekhyun home, and you made it to your bed before completely collapsing.

The doorbell rang again, and you sighed, pushing yourself out of bed. It took all of your energy to stumble out of the room and get to the door, before you unlocked and opened it.

Jongdae stood there, sunglasses covering his most likely sensitive eyes, and posture slumped. You were sure you looked just as bad, with your party clothes from the night before now wrinkled on your figure, and mussed hair crazy from sleep. You were expecting it to be awkward, him showing up after the night beforehand, but it seemed like neither of you wanted to talk about what happened, and you were fine with that. It was a problem for another day.

The problem for today was work. Jongdae didn’t look to be in shape to do much of anything, and you didn’t feel like heading outside to join him either. It was hot, the sun was far too bright, and it’d probably end with the both of you getting sick.

“You don’t have to work today,” you told him, and cut him off before he could argue. “Just come in, get some breakfast and painkillers at least.”

It was too good of an offer to decline, so Jongdae stepped inside, taking off his sunglasses once the harsh light was out of his face. The idea of food sounded nauseating to both of you, but you both knew it would eventually help with the hangover.

Breakfast was uneventful, both of you eating in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The painkillers and water had helped with the headache and overall soreness, and the warm food had surprisingly helped with your upset stomach.

Once Jongdae had finished his plate, he pulled his sunglasses on, and stood up. “I should probably work now.” He seemed adamant, but you weren’t going to let him work even if he begged to. Your pool could survive a week without cleaning, but you weren’t sure how long Jongdae could survive the heat.

“Just go home and rest Jongdae. You can drop by next week, ok?”

He looked like he was going to protest, but the stern look on your face told him not to argue, so he nodded. You led him to the door, and made sure to send him home with a cool bottle of water too.

“Thanks, Kitten. I owe you one.”

He sent you one last smile as goodbye before heading to his car, and you closed the door with heat warming your face. The pet name still gave you butterflies as always, but this time, it gave you hope too. Maybe things with him weren’t as ruined as you thought.

The whole week, after you had woken up, cleaned the house, and welcomed your mom home, you spent thinking of Jongdae. The day after the party had given you hope that he wasn’t completely avoiding you, and with the following Saturday creeping up on you, you could only hope he’d show up this week again too.

It had taken many thoughtful days and restless nights, but you had finally come to a conclusion. You didn’t regret what happened at the party, and you hoped Jongdae didn’t either. It was undeniable, the chemistry between the two of you, and you were shocked it had taken so long for you to admit it.

Sure, you didn’t have the greatest first impression of Jongdae, but the traits and qualities he showed in the weeks following were quite admirable. He always worked hard, made you laugh, even if it was at your own expense, and despite denying it, he kept your summer exciting. Jongdae loosened you up, helped you worry less, and focus more on the present. He helped you focus on the decisions you were making rather than dwell on the past.

It was odd to finally admit it, liking Jongdae. You had put so much pressure on yourself to not think about him, avoid him when he came over if possible, even distract yourself from him with other guys, but none of it worked. His stupid charms had worked, and the thought scared you slightly.

He was still a fuckboy, he had still warned you about guys like him, and he still hadn’t brought up the night, so you had to be cautious. There would need to be a serious conversation before you tried anything, before you told him how you felt. You had to make sure Jongdae didn’t regret making out with you, and you had to make sure he had some sort of feelings for you.

The chance arose the following week, when Saturday rolled around. It was the perfect day. Your mom was out of the house, scheduled to be at the office all afternoon, and Jongdae was just minutes away from arriving for work.

You knew if you tried to have any conversation while he was cleaning, it’d be slightly awkward, since he’d be so focused on work, so you hoped he could finish quickly and you could bring up everything after.

You had gotten another bikini, after the other one was stolen, so you put that on quickly, with a pair of shorts. You also grabbed your book, a new one this time, so you could get through some of it while Jongdae worked.

Just as planned, the doorbell rang a little after noon, and you opened the door with a smile.

“Hey Jongdae.”

It wasn’t hard to see his eyes immediately drop from your face to your chest, then back up as quickly as possible. You’d never worn a bathing suit while you were outside with him, unless you counted the first time he came over, but you were literally naked at that point, so this was a bit of a shock to him.

He swallowed. “Hey.”

“Ready? I grabbed my book, so I’ll come outside and read if that’s ok. Maybe we can go for a swim after?” It was unlike you to ask Jongdae to join him outside, and you could see he was slightly confused by the question by the surprised look on his face, but it was all part of your plan. You needed to gauge his reaction and see if your whole plan was even worth it.

Jongdae chuckled. “Of course, it’s your backyard after all.”

Good answer, you thought. It wasn’t long before you were both outside, you situating yourself on one of the chairs by the pool, and Jongdae working on getting the pool vacuum out of the shed. For a little while, neither of you spoke much except for a comment here or there, Jongdae focusing on work while you got sucked into your book.

Around thirty minutes later, you heard some shuffling around, and saw Jongdae already putting the cleaning products away. Once he returned from the shed, he looked at you with a smirk.

“Still wanna swim?”

You nodded eagerly and grinned. Making sure your book was safe in the chair, and far away enough from the pool to avoid water splashes, you walked over to the pool. You quickly shimmied out of your shorts, not missing the way Jongdae watched you closely. He caught your eyes when you looked up, and instead of turning away like you would have expected, his stare only hardened and he smirked.

This bikini, unlike the last one, was blue, and the color complimented your skin tone nicely.

Jongdae followed suit, and you didn’t bother looking away as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. The sight of his lean and toned body still didn’t get old even though you had seen him shirtless many times while he was working. The faint defining lines on his abdomen and light trail of hair leading down into his shorts had you biting your lip, drinking the view in.

While you started slowly lowering yourself into the pool using the steps, Jongdae didn’t waste any time to jump in. You squealed as the water from his splash lightly hit you, and he started laughing as he rose out of the water, brushing his hair away from his face. Finally, you dropped entirely into the pool, your feet completely on the floor.

“It’s really warm,” you pointed out, and Jongdae hummed in agreement. “I’m surprised we haven’t swam together yet.”

“I’m not,” he chuckled, “because if we did, it would lead to a splash fight.”

You grinned mischievously before lightly pushing some water in his direction. It wasn’t a full splash, but it was enough for some water drops to hit his shoulder and the middle of his chest. Immediately his head snapped up, and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Oh, we’re starting this?”

You shook your head playfully, backing up as fast as you could. It wasn’t fast enough though, since Jongdae was already flicking water in your direction, laughing as he moved closer to you. You attacked back, blindly splashing as much water you could in his direction while also trying to block yourself from his ongoing assault.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough, since within only a couple seconds, Jongdae had made his way over to you, pinning you against the side of the pool while he grabbed your wrists. There was no getting out of his grip, so you just looked up at him with wide eyes.

From this angle, you could see the water droplets dripping down his face, rushing from his hairline down the bridge of his nose. You could see the small moles dotting his skin, clustered around the side of his forehead and scattered down his neck.

You could feel Jongdae’s eyes trailing down your face, focusing on your features. You watched as his gaze zeroed in on your lips, and the way his tongue ran across his bottom lip as he stared.

The tension, the feeling from the party, and all the other days beforehand had returned. It was suffocating the both of you, making the air between you both heavy with unspoken words.

There weren’t any words that needed to be exchanged, however, since Jongdae seemed to finally snap, letting go of your wrists to grab your waist and pull you close to him. Your lips immediately met, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him push you against the edge of the pool for support. Your hands tangled into his wet hair, pulling on the strands and relishing in the groan he let out.

“Should we talk about this?” You murmured against his lips.

He bit your lip before pulling away, breathing heavily. “What’s there to talk about? Last I checked, you liked me, and I liked you. That should be enough, yeah?”

His lips had parted from yours for far too long, and the answer was good enough for you, so you just nodded before pulling him back to you. He chuckled into the kiss at your eagerness, making you pull his hair again in retaliation. It didn’t seem to be much of a punishment, however, since Jongdae just moaned at the feeling and slid his hands down to grip at your thighs.

“Sensitive,” you mumbled teasingly, squeaking when Jongdae lightly pinched at the skin on the back of your leg.

“You’re one to say that.”

You shut him up by distracting him with your tongue, letting it glide against his lower lip until his mouth parted slightly. Just like before, he let you lead. The movements were slow but passionate, making you drown in every feeling, making you responsive to every touch.

The warm water and his warm skin pressed against you from every angle. You couldn’t escape it. He drew patterns on your skin before his fingertips dug into your thighs, pulling you closer to him until there was no space between the two of you. The bulge at the front of his pool shorts was now extremely noticeable, but your own arousal was being reduced by the water, and you knew if you wanted to go any further you’d have to get out of the pool.

“Jongdae,” you murmured as you pulled away. He hummed in acknowledgement, pecking your lips a couple times, making you giggle. “Should we get out of the pool?”

Jongdae considered your words for a moment, thinking about the meaning behind them, before he shook his head. For a second you worried you had been too forward, but then Jongdae was lifting you up and out of the water, making you sit on the edge of pool, feet still dangling into the water.

You gripped the ledge of the pool, leaning back slightly and gasping at the warm ground underneath your back. Jongdae had the perfect position and leverage from where he stood, immediately diving forward to bury himself between your legs. His hands gripped your thighs and lightly pulled them apart before pressing his cheek against your inner leg. Looking down at him, the sight made your heart speed up. He was staring up at you with a smirk, eyes darkening.

“I like this new swimsuit of yours,” Jongdae hummed, fingers dancing up your thigh to grab at the side of your bikini bottoms. They were the type that tied at the side, and you had never be so relieved for buying an easy to remove swimsuit as you were right then. Jongdae seemed just as pleased, eager fingers playing with the ties and a grin taking over his face when he finally got them undone. The other side was untied before you knew it and within seconds Jongdae had tugged the fabric off, leaving you heated and panting.

“You’re so pretty, Kitten.” Having him stare at you so unabashedly made you shy, but the tone in his words was helping you feel more comfortable. “Had I known this is what I was missing out on when we first met, I would’ve done this a long time ago.”

You were going to make some sarcastic remark about how you would’ve punched him if he had tried this at any point before today, but your words caught in your throat when you felt Jongdae’s heavy breathing against your sensitive skin. There was one moment of pure silence, leaving you shaking while you waited for him to do anything, before he snapped, tongue flicking against your folds, leaving you speechless.

A groan escaped his lips before he was diving for more, hands pushing your thighs apart when you tried to close them. There was zero hesitation in his actions, tongue working over you roughly while his hands gripped you tightly. It was as if in that moment he wanted nothing more than to please you. It was as if all of the time he had waited meant nothing as long as he brought you to the highest point of pleasure.

Your arm was shaking as you propped yourself up on your elbow, your free hand snaking down to grip Jongdae’s hair. He moaned into you as you tangled your fingers through the blonde strands and tugged, pulling him impossibly close to you. You didn’t think Jongdae could be more passionate with his touches, but the slight pain tingling at his scalp had him growing more desperate.

One of his hands left the inside of your thigh to rest across your lower stomach, preventing you from pushing upward, while the other hand joined his mouth. You whined as his finger teased against you, gathering your wetness before slowly pushing into you. The single one wasn’t enough and you whimpered, ready to beg Jongdae if it meant finally getting to come.

“Please, Jongdae,” you pleaded, hearing Jongdae groan at the sound of his name tumbling from your lips.

A second finger teased at your entrance before pressing into you slowly, making you let out a sigh of relief at the added feeling. Jongdae lifted his head to watch you, eyes focused on your disheveled appearance. A rush of pride took over his body, making him curl his fingers while he gaped at your reaction.

“So wet, Kitten, all for me.” You nodded eagerly, as there was no denying it. Had you known how good Jongdae could have made you felt, with just his mouth and fingers no less, you would’ve confessed to him much earlier than you did.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the sensation creeping up, your thighs shaking around Jongdae’s head, fingers digging into his hair harder, and cries falling from your mouth as he brought you closer to the edge. With a third finger pressing against you, and Jongdae’s tongue circling your clit, you leaned back with a gasp. Your eyes clenched shut, back arching off the pool edge and toes curling as you came.

“Good job Kitten, let it all out for me,” Jongdae cooed, prompting you to let out one last whimper as he worked you through your orgasm. His fingers didn’t let up until you were shaking in overstimulation, pushing him away with your last bits of energy. Finally, he relented, and swam back a couple inches.

You caught your breath for a moment as you came down from your high, Jongdae murmuring sweet words to you as he caressed your legs. It took a couple minutes before you were able to push yourself up, looking down at Jongdae. He was looking up at you with a smile, lips curled at the end and glistening from his previous actions. His hair had been pushed in a million directions but he seemed completely unbothered, wiping off his lips before grinning stupidly.

“You good?” he asked, and you nodded, letting out a light laugh.

“I-I think so.”

He seemed extremely pleased with your response, glad he was able to put you into such a state of speechlessness.

You stood up shakily and grabbed your towel from nearby to wrap around your waist as Jongdae got out of the pool, the both of you drying off in near silence. You quickly picked up your bikini bottoms, and scoffed upon seeing Jongdae had torn the ties on one side.

“What’s wrong?” He asked upon seeing your displeased expression.

You held up the tattered fabric, raising your eyebrows at him. “Are you going to ruin all my swimsuits?”

Jongdae chuckled, shrugging. “If it means getting you naked, then yes.”

You rolled your eyes. “I have to buy another one now!”

Jongdae shook his head as he walked over to you, hands grabbing your waist to pull you close to him. “I’ll give you your red one back,” he promised, giving you a quick kiss.

You kissed him back before pulling back and looking up at him suspectedly. “Does that mean the deal is off?”

Jongdae nodded almost immediately. “You bet, Kitten. There’s no way I’m telling anyone you skinny dip, that’s for my eyes only. And I’m sure you won’t be firing me anytime soon, am I right?”

“I don’t know about that,” you teased, laughing when Jongdae pouted. “Fine, you can keep your job, but you need to come visit me more often than that too.”

Jongdae scoffed as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. “Oh trust me, you won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon.”

You playfully groaned, but on the inside you were jumping for joy. It was odd, how just a month ago, had you heard those words you would’ve wanted to die, but now they brought you so much happiness. He brought you so much happiness.

You kissed him again, smiling against his lips. It was all the perfect moment until a slight breeze brushed past you, and you shivered. The thin towel wrapped around your waist wasn’t doing much for your exposed lower half, and your bra piece was still wet and growing cold by the minute.

“I need to take a shower,” you mumbled into the kiss, and Jongdae hummed in acknowledgment. “Do you want to join me?” You knew he hadn’t brought any spare clothes, and it would give him the opportunity to let his shorts dry off. Of course, you also wanted to thank him for earlier, and Jongdae seemed to understand your intentions, since he nodded eagerly.

Unfortunately, the second you got into the shower, Jongdae’s hands were all over you once again, so you weren’t able to show him exactly how thankful you were for earlier, but you were sure he got the gist of it.

And you knew you would have many opportunities in the future to pay him back. Worrying about only being a one-time thing to him wasn’t a fear of yours anymore, and you were sure it never would be.

You wouldn’t be getting rid of Jongdae for a very long time, and for the first time in forever, that thought made you smile.

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gingerdrab · 6 years

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Trick or Treat

Ship: Wonwoo x Reader Genre: Fluff, Halloween shit Word Count: 2.8k Summary: Wonu, a shy, quiet boy in your class, overhears you saying that you’ve never celebrated Halloween before. He makes it his mission to change that, since he loves Halloween, and just may have a thing for you… Writer’s Notes: breh I forgot to post this damn sorry lol, i got so super busy with work omgggg. also, I wrote this before the Halloween Vlive so wow thanks Minghao 4 wearing this costume and messing up my fic ugh lol jk ily anyways, hope u like it, this is my first ever Seventeen fic so yeah and it was rlly rushed tbh

“I can’t believe you’ve lived your entire life from childhood, into adulthood, without ever celebrating Halloween.”

Dara, the rather annoying, loud-mouthed girl who sat next to you in your poetry class, stared at you in utter disbelief after you had casually mentioned that little fact about yourself.

“I mean, it’s really not that big of a deal? It’s just not really a thing where I’m from and it’s my first year being an exchange student here so…”

She continued looking at you as if it were your fault that the entire season of Autumn chose not to exist where you grew up. Class had just ended and all the students were piling up behind you, eagerly trying to get through the doors and out into freedom. It was Friday, who could blame them? You cleared the door and tried to lose Dara in the crowd (lord forbid you’d have to listen to her drone on and on for another minute), walking quickly towards the library.

“Never celebrated Halloween…. Hmm….. But are you gonna celebrate this year, though?”

The question this time, belonged to a deep male voice. One you were sure you hadn’t heard before.

You stopped abruptly and spun around, causing a tall dark-haired figure to almost crash into you. You stared at him in surprise and mumbled an apology. He shook his head quickly, a small smile on his lips, and pushed his round glasses higher up his nose.

“You’re Y/N, right? I’m Wonu.” He introduced himself, his voice quiet and low.

“I…. didn’t know you talked to people” you replied, trying to remember when you’d ever seen him interact with anyone before. He usually sat in the back corner of class and almost always had his nose buried in a book.

“Well, I was curious. About your Halloween situation, I mean.”

“You know, I don’t see what the big deal is. But whatever, I have to go now anyways. Bye.”

You turned around and continued your quest, still a bit confused as to why the shyest boy in the world had chosen to talk to you about something he just randomly overheard.

As you walked onto the courtyard, you wiggled deeper into your scarf, the cold air biting at you. You noticed a shadow growing behind you.

“Are you following me?” You slowed down till you were walking side by side with Quiet Boy.

“I’m going to the library.” He said softly. “But you still haven’t answered my question, though. Are you gonna celebrate this year?”

You began walking up the library steps together. You felt most amused than annoyed by his persistence, so you continued to entertain him.

“I wasn’t planning to. Why are you so interested anyways? Are you the Pumpkin King or something?”

“Aha! So you do know Halloween things at least!” A look of almost victory playing across his face.

You both sat across from each other at an empty table at the end of the deserted library. You studied the boy as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a very worn out novel. You’d never seen him this friendly, or even happy. It looked good on him. He was a handsome guy, you supposed; with his short, messy raven locks, pretty lips, and dark, mysterious eyes. Really handsome, actually. You wondered why you’d never paid him much attention before now.

He looked up at you, your eyes meeting for a while.

“I just really like Halloween. And I think you’d like it too. You should go find some books about the history of it. I know you like that stuff.”

He quickly averted his eyes, blushing slightly from his oversharing.

“How could you possibly know what I like? We’ve literally never spoken before.”

His cheeks and ears turned a deeper shade of red. He looked into his book and replied, “I read your blog. And I always see you in here. You sit and research and write for hours.”

It was your turn to blush. “I-I didn’t think anyone I knew even read my stuff…” you muttered, heavily embarrassed.

He smiled again. “Well, to be fair, you didn’t really know me.”

“Wow, so you’re like a fan then?” you joked playfully. You both giggled, and you couldn’t help noticing how cute he looked.

You started thinking about what he had said. You actually knew quite a bit about Halloween, and you were totally willing to participate in some events. The problem was: you didn’t actually have any friends. Unless you counted Dara. (Which you totally didn’t.) This was only your fourth month here, and you’d been really focused on adjusting to school, and life in general, and hadn’t really had time to make friends. You knew a few people around campus, but not enough to call them friends. You wondered if Wonu had friends. What would he be like with them? Laughing and smiling? Funny? Serious? …..Cute?

Your phone buzzed in your pocket, forcing you out of your little daydream.

[4:01PM] Dara: I saw you talking to that creepy boy from class. Just be careful.

Creepy? You looked up at him, his eyes focused on the words in front of him, barely aware of what was happening around him. Creepy how? Yeah, he dressed all in black every single day and didn’t speak to anyone ever. But you definitely weren’t getting a creepy vibe from him. You ignored the text.

Wonu turned a page in his book, unaware that the way you were staring at him could probably bore a hole into his skull. You looked at the way his eyes flitted across the words, and how his tongue peeked out between his teeth. He was totally caught up in his own little world. It was adorable. You felt content, and finally reached into your bag for your laptop so you could write, thinking to yourself “ohmygod he reads my blog?!”

Somehow, your library visits together started becoming a regular thing. You’d both just ‘end up’ at the same table after class, him reading, and you writing, a comfortable silence between you two. It was a week after your initial meeting, and you both sat in your usual spots, this time, feeling just a bit too distracted to do any actual work.

“So you’ve never decorated for Halloween? Visited a pumpkin patch? Carved a pumpkin? Nothing?”

This again. You shook your head for each activity he mentioned.

“You’ve never been trick or treating?”

You laughed. “It’s not really a big deal! Besides, I’m too old for that one anyways.”

Wonu paused, looking at you incredulously. “Excuse me? Too old for dressing up in costumes and collecting candy? That’s the best part of Halloween! I can’t believe you’ve never done it before.”

You smiled at him and leaned your chin into your hand. “I guess I used to want to, when I was younger. But there was nowhere I could, and no one to do it with.”

The small smile growing on Wonu’s lips had a glint of mischievousness to it.

“Let’s go trick or treating, Y/N.”

He looked like an excited puppy. You, on the other hand, were simply confused.

“I’m serious! There’s gonna be a Halloween event on campus. We can dress up and walk around to the different departments… I think we’re all just trying to reconnect to our childhoods here, you know?”

“How do you even know about this?”

“I’m the Pumpkin King, remember?” he said with a smirk. “I’m kidding, my friends are the ones organizing it.”

So he did have friends.

Monday morning was fast approaching, your weekend had been a blur. You and Wonu had grown even closer via text, but you kinda wished you had gotten to see him over the weekend. You were simultaneously looking forward to your poetry class, and also dreading it. Dreading it, because there would be a randomly selected Haiku presentation, and you hated reading your work in front of anyone; but you were looking forward to sitting next to Wonu.

You got to class slightly earlier than usual and chose the seat next to the one he usually sat in. You knew it would be empty anyways. “Uh, Y/N? Why are you sitting there?”

It was Dara. Ugh. She looked from you to the door that Wonu had just started walking through and quickly got the picture. Quiet Boy reached his spot and stared at you, a faint blush rising on his cheeks.

“Mornin’” he whispered, while sitting next to you.

“Hi!” you replied, a bit too cheery, embarrassing yourself. Dammit, I seem too eager, don’t I? Your thoughts were racing. The majority of class passed with you sneaking looks to the boy next to you, constantly finding yourself blushing, and once or twice, catching his eye and seeing him turn slightly pinker. Your professor’s voice pierced the room suddenly, interrupting your sweet daydreams.

“Presentation time! Who’s going first?”

His eyes scanned the classroom, searching for either volunteers, or just someone unsuspecting to pick on. You kept your head lowered, anxiety wringing your insides, when you heard the seat next to yours creaking.

Wonu was standing up.

“Uh… I’ll try…”

You stared at him, a mixture of surprise and interest dawning on your face.

“This is… a, uh…. autumn-y thing, I wrote. Um, the theme was kinda open so… I just went with it-

In summer, I saw

Her in the sea of faces.

In autumn, I fell.”

Dara wouldn’t stop talking your ear off at lunch. She had heard about the Halloween event that would be taking place on campus and was gushing about what she was going to dress up as and who would be there and other boring things you tried not to take notice of.

“You should come with me! It’ll be your first Halloween thing! You can be something really cute and sexy!”

You turned to look at her, putting on your best annoyed expression.

“I’m already going. With Wonu.”

Dara faked a smile. “I thought you’d say that. Are you two dating or something?”

You sputtered, red tinting your cheeks already. “Wha- No. That’s – no – just stupid. Haha. No!

We’re friends. And he’s not creepy. He’s just… quiet.”

“Hmm. If you say so. I figured after that super obvious poem last class… Whatever.”

She walked away in a huff, much to your pleasure, leaving you to grow steadily more embarrassed just thinking of the poem and of dating Wonu. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t almost totally smitten by him. And even you had thought, or at least hoped, that the haiku he had written really was about you. Was he falling for you too? Did he even mean it like that? As if summoned by your thoughts, the Quiet Boy himself appeared at your side, taking a seat and grabbing some of your chips.

“Hey. I just got out of class.”

You almost choked on your drink. He was so friendly now, it made you both exhilarated and nervous.

“Hey! You nearly killed me, thanks.”

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I wanted to ask you about the party.”

“Hm?”

“Did you.. have any ideas on what you wanted to dress up as?”

You definitely had at least 17 ideas. You’d never gotten to dress up for Halloween before, so you’d been toying with the idea of some classic costumes. But then, of course, there were the funny costumes. And memes. Would it be lame to try to make it cute or sexy? Stockings, mini skirt, and push up bra? Would it be weird to make it extra scary? Fake blood and gross scar makeup; the full works! You weren’t sure, but you knew whatever you picked, it had to be good.

“I don’t know yet. What about you?”

Wonu hesitated, shifting his gaze from your eyes and onto his hands. “I do. But it’s super cheesy.

It’s, uh, kind of a couple costume.”

You blushed a deep scarlet shade. You knew exactly what he was thinking.

Saturday evening found you standing in front of your mirror, applying blue makeup to your face. The costume Wonu had gotten for you was a perfect fit, and you couldn’t help getting more and more excited while you put yourself together. The doorbell to your apartment rang just as you were finished securing your long, red wig. The butterflies in your stomach became frantic with the realization that you were practically about to go on a date with your crush. (I mean, basically, come on)

You raced down the stairs and pulled open the door.

“Hey Sally”

Wonu stood in front of you with a smirk on his lips, looking absolutely handsome in his black and white striped suit and his face in matching paint.

“Hey Jack”

You giggled, feeling a bit ridiculous.

“Is this too much? We’re probably gonna get made fun of, aren’t we?” you questioned, locking your door and getting ready to head to campus with Wonu.

“Probably. But’s it’s definitely worth it. Don’t you think?”

You hummed in agreement, dropping into a synchronized walk with the tall guy.

You arrived on campus to see what could only be described as the Most Extra little Halloween village, complete with carved pumpkins everywhere, fairy lights strung from the trees, skeletons hanging on every corner and cute, spooky ghosts propped up against the walls. The place was crowded with college students mostly in costume, drinking, dancing to music, and just hanging around. A large number were making the trick or treating rounds, collecting candy (and sometimes shots of vodka lmao.) Wonu reached for your hand, and you felt your heartbeat quicken. You looked up at him to see him smiling, a soft blush rising on his cheeks.

“You look so excited. It’s way too adorable.”

He was right. You were the cutest right now, nearly bursting at the seams with delight, and now, even more so as he held on to your hand.

“Let’s go!” You both walked down the makeshift street, which was just the decorated hallway, stopping at each makeshift ‘house’, which were in actuality just classrooms. Each time you stopped, he let you be the one to knock and shout “Trick or Treat!” while almost erupting into laughter each time. At each of the ‘houses’, cute guys stood, giving out treats. They were introduced to you as Wonu’s friends, and without fail, they all teased him about the hand-holding thing. (And yet, he never let go.)

After visiting all the houses, and meeting all his friends, you settled on a bench at the end of the Halloween Street, already half-way through your third candy bar.

“So… I didn’t realize you were this popular. You’re so quiet all the time.”

He sat next to you, reaching over for some chocolate.

“Yeah, I just like to keep to myself. I mean, other than those guys you met, I don’t really talk to anyone else. I know most people from my classes think I’m some creepy guy.”

“I don’t think you’re creepy,” you said, smiling up at him.

“Even with the skeleton makeup?” he laughed.

“…it’s kinda sexy actually.” You felt your cheeks grow hot at your own boldness. Ohmygod, you actually said that.

You took a tentative look at Wonu next to you, who you were happy to note, was wearing a blush that matched yours exactly. He cleared his throat before fidgeting profusely and then said,

“So I … I hope you’ve figured out that this was a, um, date.”

You felt yourself growing braver and more playful at his returning shyness.

“A date? Well you never officially asked me, so I figured ─”

“Remember the haiku I read in class?” he cut you off. Your heart pounded a little harder, your previous glimmer of hope growing much larger in your mind.

“That was about you.”

Your heart practically stopped. In your head, you had turned into a teenage girl fist-pumping in exhilaration.

“Are you saying that you ─”

“I’ve been thinking about you since I started reading your blog. And since I started seeing you writing in the library.”

“Definitely a secret admirer then,” you smirked.

“Definitely. So can this be a date now then?” he questioned you, staring directly into your eyes, suddenly seeming braver than before.

You stared back at him, your gaze flickering briefly to his lips. He was close enough for you to feel his soft breath on your face. The makeup he wore over his eyes and cheeks honestly made him look hotter than usual, which was saying something. You nodded and were barely able to finish saying yes, when he moved forward, closing the space between you, and pressing his lips to yours. You leaned into the kiss, reaching your hand around his neck, and burying your fingers in his hair. You pulled apart from each other, after what felt like an eternity of innocent bliss, smiling widely.

“Good. Cause I really like you, Y/N” He stated, with the most confidence you’d ever seen from him since you started talking. He reached for your hand again, this time intertwining his fingers with yours.

You leaned forward slightly and pulled him in for another kiss. “I really like you too, Pumpkin King.”

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schmilliam · 6 years

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Time to Spare -- Spromeo

It‘s 2:30 PM, and Romeo is already bored to tears.

Outside his window, the January sun shines brightly, the sight at odds with the blistering winds and biting temperatures. With the outdoors being a living hell for any unfortunate soul who had to venture out, and with a lack of responsibilities for the rest of the day, Romeo finds himself holed up in his room. At this point, Netflix seemed the best option to kill time, but as the show progresses not even John Mulaney can ease the inattentive buzzing in the back of his mind. But whatever. It‘s something to do, and it passed time.

…not quickly enough, it seems. The show ends, and Romeo glances down at the screen’s clock again, sighing before absently clicking on the scroll bar and scanning through the next set of choices Netflix presented to him. After a moment he huffs, sliding down a little in the uncomfortable desk chair and clicking on a preview at random. As his eyes glaze over the summary, his phone dings, the noise sharp through the stuffy silence, and he scoops it up almost desperately.

Handsome: u busy?

A smile threatens to erupt as Romeo quickly unlocks his phone to respond.

Never too busy for you

Handsome: can i call?

ofc

Setting his phone down on his desk, Romeo has barely untangled himself from the blanket wrapped around him before his phone screen lights up, the ringtone cutting through the air. After a minute he stands, muttering “Yeah, yeah,” under his breath and kicking the blanket under his desk a little. Taking his phone again, his thumb swipes across the screen and he grins as Specs’ face flashes into view a minute later.

“Hey!” he greets, taking a few steps before flopping back onto his bed. His chest twinges a little as Specs smiles back, and Romeo tries to brush the lonely feeling away.

“Hey. How ya doin’?”

“Oh, fine, ya know. Third day of rehearsals, but who’s counting, huh?” He shrugs, quickly rolling his eyes before focusing once more on the screen. Specs must have found something to prop his phone against, given he was now leaning his chin on his hand.

“Yeah? Those goin’ good then?”

“I guess. First day was pushed back an hour, and then tonight’s got cancelled. So. I’m just kinda… sitting here.”

Specs stares at him a moment, and he doesn’t know if it’s the crappy dorm connection, or the lighting, or what, but he could swear Specs was trying to hold back a grin. “... bored?”

Romeo rolls his eyes, head dropping back as he falls into his pillows. “God, I’m so bored!” he groans. “Rehearsal’s the only reason I had to come back early, and the only other thing I have to do is finish cleaning up my room — but I got two weeks to do that ‘til Buttons shows up anyway, so of course I’m not gonna do that now-”

And after a minute or two of rambling, he catches himself mid-sentence. “... sorry, I should stop. How’re things goin’ with you?” He barely catches the tinny-sounding sigh through the phone speaker.

“They’re okay. I mean, same as usual, mostly. Still workin’.” Specs pauses, and after a moment finally admits, “... kinda quiet, without you around. It’s...kinda weird.”

“Yeah? It’s quiet here, too. Since nobody’s back yet. But… hey, guess what?”

“What?”

His smile softens, and his chest twinges again, wishing he could be at home with his boyfriend instead of being back at college so soon. “Two weeks. That’s all ya gotta wait ‘til you get back.”

Specs sighs again, the frown giving way to a small smile that Romeo could juuuuuust barely see, if the screen was lit just right. “I know...” Romeo watches as he glances down to the table before his face comes up again. “Is it bad to say I kinda miss you already?”

“Aww, you miss me?” Specs just rolls his eyes at the teasing, prompting a grin out of Romeo. “Turnin’ into a softie, Specs. Wasn’t expecting that outta you-“

“Fine, just forget I said anything.”

“No, no!” Romeo huffs, shaking his head in mock scandal. “You said it, you can’t take it back!” Sitting back, he grins at the screen, letting the moment die down before adding, “... I miss you too. Like I said, it’s quiet without you guys around.”

“Well...has Race gone back yet?”

“Race? Nah.” Romeo shakes his head. “He and Spot are comin’ up next weekend, I think. I dunno, he woulda told me if he was back at his place.”

“Right,” Specs sighs. “Well, you should go see him when he comes back. So you’re not just sitting in your dorm all alone for so long.”

“What’re you, my mom?”

Through the mediocre sound quality, he thinks he hears Specs snort. “No, but I think I’m allowed to be worried about you. Ya know, as your boyfriend and all.”

“Ohh, that’s right. As my handsome, charming, dashing-“

“Ro.”

“-caring, extremely talented, gorgeous-“

“Romeo.”

“-kind and thoughtful boyfriend-“

Specs’ face drops into his hands as he groans. “Stop.” Which was cute, really. Romeo loved doing this, flattering his boyfriend to no end. In fact, he just laughs as Specs talks again. “You’re awful.”

“But I’m just bein’ honest,” he answers innocently. There’s the sound of a huff, and Specs comes out of hiding enough to glare at his phone. Romeo just smiles.

“That’s what you always say.”

“Well. Guess it must be true then, huh?” He winks, laughing at the rolling eyes he gets in response.

“Right, yeah. Anyway, if you’re done flirting with me...I know you’re busy and all, but..you mind if I bother you for a little while longer?”

Well, it didn’t take long to figure that one out. “I could think of nothing better.”

#Specs Newsies #Romeo Newsies #Newsies #spromeo #specsromeo #I honestly don't know which one people call it #Newsies fanfiction #I'm super rusty with writing please forgive the quality #o o f #long post #also peep the total non-projection here #except Romeo has a boyfriend to call #anyways #i forgot what my writing tag is #writing tag #for now

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gukyi · 7 years

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start anew | ksj

⇒ summary: it’s been five years since you left your hometown, vowing never to return, but a simple invitation to a christmas party and a yearning to know whether or not you’re truly over the heartbreak you left behind has you wondering if, maybe, the christmas spirit and promise of a new beginning can change your mind.

⇒ christmas!au, exes!au

⇒ pairing: kim seokjin x female reader

⇒ word count: 11k

⇒ genre: soft angst and fluff (everything is just melancholy, alright?)

⇒ warnings: alcohol consumption

⇒ a/n: for @sonnenfuchs, from your secret santa!! here it is luce, i tried to make it as not angsty as possible but it looks like i didn’t try hard enough. this does have a happy ending though, if that’s any consolation!! merry (late) christmas and happy new year!! i wish u and the rest of the gc all the best ♡

When the train pulls into the run-down station, cement littered with trash and paint on the walls chipping, you feel sick to your stomach.

The sight of this poor old thing, empty and dilapidated, leaves you nauseous as the train pulls in, screeching as it comes to a stop. You’re the only one getting off at this stop, one out of the four other people that are taking this sad little train on a journey to nowhere, stepping onto the platform with your suitcase by your side and vow echoing in your mind, one that swore you’d never return.

Looks like Christmas brings out the optimist in all of us.

Even though it’s been nearly five years since you’ve ever looked back, took that first step onto the midnight train going anywhere—to the airport, actually—on the path to a life that doesn’t leave you wallowing in sorrow, you remember this place like the back of your hand. Remember the way that the sign above your head shook when a train pulled into the station too quickly. Remember how the gate on the way out would get stuck sometimes, and would only take a hard kick to come loose.

You look down at the faded pink bench waiting on the platform, and you remember how he used to kiss you on that. How he used to press his fingers into your skin and his mouth onto yours as you kissed and kissed and kissed in the dim light of an empty train station in the early hours of the morning. Remember how you would hop onto any train that came by, together, letting it take you wherever the wind blows. Remember how he would press you into the dirty wall of the train station, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and your cheek and your neck, promises in the form of hickeys on your collarbones.

People always ask you why you left, but the thing is that he did first.

You give a soft kick to the gate on your way out, feeling it dislodge beneath the toe of your boot as you press it open. It’s nearly ten at night. The roads that surround you are quiet, cars whizzing by every once in awhile, headlights flickering in the darkness. No taxis in this town.

Pulling out your phone, only then are you reminded of the shitty cell service in the area, the bars on your phone phasing in and out of existence as you try to scrounge up enough reception to make a call. With enough effort (it seems as though you still know all of the tricks to getting service in this town), your phone musters up two measly bars. You press call.

“Y/N?”

“Yoongi?” You breathe out into the phone, feeling this foreign sense of comfort at the sound of your once-best friend’s voice. It’s been too long, but at the same time, it hasn’t been long enough.

“Why are you calling me? Did your train just pull in?” He asks, and his voice is groggy and soft, almost too quiet for you to be able to hear him. If it weren’t for the deafening silence that surrounds you, you probably wouldn’t even be able to make him out.

“Yeah,” you answer, and you wonder if this sad chatter warrants you asking him a favor. Even if you were best friends once, back when you found joy in being holed up in this small town with people you loved (not anymore), you haven’t spoken in five years. Things have changed. So have you. “Could—could you come and pick me up? You know where.”

“Aw, Y/N, I would, but I don��t have a car with me. My buddy Namjoon borrowed it for the weekend. You remember Namjoon, right? Lanky kid from college. I can send him to pick you up, if that’s alright?” Yoongi says into the phone, and there’s so many memories laced in the words that leave his lips. Memories of you and him taking his beat-up Cadillac for a midnight drive to McDonald’s, nearly crashing it into the lake at the local park after you took a wrong turn. Memories from the college years you spent in this little town, at the local university that deserves a lot more credit than it’s given. Memories of Namjoon and Yoongi and you and him, together as friends.

“No, that’s okay. I don’t want to be an inconvenience for anybody,” you say, swiftly declining the offer as you put others’ needs over your own. How typical of you. Guess some things will never change, no matter how much you want them to.

“Are you kidding? I know for a fact he only goes to sleep at three in the morning. Here, I’m gonna text him,” Yoongi says, and you know him well enough, even after five years, to know that once he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it.

“Yoongi, you really don’t have to—”

“Done. He’ll be there in ten,” Yoongi says happily. “Don’t worry about inconveniencing us, Y/N. We all want you back.”

Not all of you do, you think to yourself bitterly.

“Thanks, Yoongi. Sorry for calling you so late at night,” you say, unable to stop the apology from spilling from your lips. You already know Yoongi’s going to berate you for it.

“Stop apologizing, Y/N. You know I don’t mind. I was awake, anyway. What, did you think that after college, I turned my life around and started to go to bed at reasonable hours?” Yoongi jokes, making a smile force its way onto your lips, even if only a little. Always the jester. “Wow, you really don’t know me.”

“Yoongi, I—”

“I’m glad you’re back, Y/N. I really am,” Yoongi tells you, voice a hushed whisper. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Yoongi,” you finally admit, letting the words tumble out. If nothing else, you always regretted leaving him when you took that step onto the metal flooring of the train. He was the one person worth staying for.

“See you, hey? Don’t forget about me,” Yoongi says, and it’s a promise you know you’ll end up keeping, one of only a few. With that, he hangs up, leaving you standing in the silence, letting the crickets soothe your racing mind and aching heart.

There’s not a twig in this town that hasn’t been tainted with the memory of him.

A car pulls up in front of you after another five minutes of you contemplating to yourself, wondering why on Earth you came back after you swore you never would, wondering what could possibly have drawn you here yet again. It certainly isn’t him.

The window of Yoongi’s Cadillac rolls down, and in the hazy light of the street lamp above your head, you make out the grinning, albeit tired, face of Kim Namjoon. He still looks the same, only, he’s dyed his hair. It looks nice on him.

“Y/N? Is that really you?” Namjoon says, leaning his head out of the window as he squints. “Damn, I almost didn’t recognize you. You look so different.”

“Hey, Namjoon,” you say sheepishly.

“Long time no see. Hey, jump in! Yoongi sent me to come and fetch you, so your honored and esteemed chauffeur waits for you,” Namjoon says, tipping his head to emulate a full-body bow as he points to the backseat.

You wheel yourself and your baggage up to the car, and Namjoon, ever the gentleman, hops out of the car to help you stuff your single suitcase into Yoongi’s ridiculously small boot. You’d always teased him for having such a tiny storage space. Told him he’d be a shitty murderer since he wouldn’t be able to hide a body in the back of his car.

You climb into the passenger seat of Yoongi’s car, and everything feels uncomfortably familiar. You had always dreaded returning, promising to yourself that you never would, for that feeling of nostalgia crawling up your skin is simply too taxing on you. The dice that hang from Yoongi’s front mirror haven’t changed, though they’re definitely a bit browner than they used to be. His seats are the same level of worn, feel loved and familiar under your fingertips as you run them across the leather. One look in the backseat and you can still make out the stain from when Yoongi decided to drink five bottles of RedBull in one sitting, spot the missing lever in the backseat that prevents the back right window from being rolled down. One look in the backseat and images flash across your mind, images of the two of you giggling as you secretly made love in the backseat of his car, images of you falling asleep on his shoulder during one of your many road trips.

“Been a while, hey?” Namjoon asks, breaking the silence and catching your attention. “Where do you want me to drop you off? Your parents live around here, don’t they…?”

“Not my parents’. I don’t want to bother them,” you say quickly. “Yoongi’s, if that’s alright.”

“Fine and dandy by me,” Namjoon says. He gives your shoulder a nudge, warm smile on his face. “Hey, cheer up a bit, will you? You’re back, it’s nearly Christmas, and everyone’s feeling festive as fuck. No need to be all sad and mopey, alright?”

You muster up a tense smile at his words just to get him to politely shut up, not wanting to hear another word about you being back. You’re well aware that you’re here.

“It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen you, you know,” Namjoon says. “Not since you graduated and flew off to God-knows-where. Bet you’re making millions now, hey? CEO of some high-tech company that I’ve never heard of.”

You chuckle, appreciative of the effort Namjoon is making to keep you engaged. This mindless chatter thing, it’s kind of nice. A bit redundant, but nice. “I wish.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’re doing much better than you’re letting on. I mean, you left, and we’re all still stuck here, working menial jobs as we live our everyday lives. Did college disappoint you that much?”

“No,” you say, answers short and quick. Namjoon can be the one doing all of the talking. That, you’re fine with.

“I should hope so. God, those were the best years of my damn life. We had so much fun. I still remember that time that you and Yoongi played beer-pong half-naked at that one party. That was so hilarious. The two of you kept complaining about how the splash from the ball was getting you guys all wet,” Namjoon reminisces, laughing at the memory. “Man, Seokjin was livid when he saw the two of you doing that together. Nearly flipped the whole damn table over.”

The mention of his name renders you speechless as a terrible taste enters your mouth, one your tongue can’t get rid of. You’ve done so well at repressing the memories of him, tainted with love and loss, but all it takes is one mention from Namjoon’s big mouth to have them all coming back up again, like vomit.

Your knee-jerk reaction to the sound of his name as the picture of Seokjin in all of his glory flashes through your mind is to cough. Violently, too. Namjoon immediately slows down as he pats your back through your dry-heaving.

“Whoa, you okay? Don’t die on me now, you just got here. What will Yoongi say if I arrive at his house with your dead body?” Namjoon asks, alarmed. “Was it something I said?”

You shake your head furiously, still recovering, not wanting him to think it was his fault. It’s yours, really. Yours for coming back. Yours for not knowing what to do when you did. Yours for thinking about him when you know he’s not thinking about you. Not anymore.

“It wasn’t you, no. Just… some spit went down the wrong tube, that’s all,” you lie.

“Man, I hate when shit like that happens,” Namjoon says, shaking his head. “It’s such a pain. I feel like I’m dying when really, my body’s just playing a mean prank on me.”

You chuckle helplessly, unable to respond as thoughts of him plague your mind. God, what’s wrong with you? Why are you still thinking about him? It’s been five years, five years of repressed memories and vows that you would never make the same mistakes. Five years of a new life, new friends, new home, one where you don’t have to dwell on the past, where you can finally start living in the moment.

But being back here, it’s like living in the past. It’s like being trapped in a world you no longer control. You used to rule everything here, crown on your head and him by your side, but now, you’re just a bystander.

You never saw Yoongi’s house before you left. He had an apartment all throughout university, right near campus, one that you knew like the back of your hand from how often you were over there. But then you graduated, packed your bags and never looked back, and you never got to see Yoongi’s house. He was so proud of it, too, when he scored a lease right after commencement. Told you all about it. You remember him being particularly excited about finally being allowed a pet. Kid’s wanted a dog all of his life.

Even in the darkness, Yoongi’s house emanates an aura that closely resembles the person residing within it. It’s a small building, fake black shutters on the sides of each of the white-rimmed windows. Small, a little lopsided, but it looks more like a home than a house, even from the outside. Yoongi’s done well. You know he has, because even though this house isn’t the biggest, isn’t the most expensive, it’s pretty and quaint and cozy, all things that a house should be. That a home should be.

“You’ve reached your destination,” Namjoon says in his best automated-female-robot voice, breaking as he reaches Yoongi’s driveway. “Here we are. Nerd Central, as I like to call it.”

You allow yourself to chuckle at Namjoon’s words as you get out, the outside lights your only source of illumination as you make your way to the back of the car, where your lone suitcase is. Namjoon gets out too, just to help you yank it out of the tiny boot of the car.

“Wish I could stay with you guys, but you know what they say. Three’s a crowd. Also, I have a dog at home that needs feeding. So, gotta blast,” Namjoon says as he bids you not a goodbye, but a see you later, instead. “You’re hanging around for Hoseok’s Christmas party, right? I’m sure we’ll see each other before then, but just in case, I’ll see you there, too.”

Namjoon sends you a warm smile as you tentatively approach Yoongi’s front door. Once he sees you taking that first step, he’s revving up the engine of that beat-up Cadillac and zooming off into the night.

You raise your fist to the wood, letting it hover in front of the door. You pause. What if Yoongi’s asleep? He didn’t know that you were going to show up at his front door, lost and dazed. Maybe, he doesn’t want you here. That’s fine. You don’t want to be here either. You’re a phone call away from calling a lonely Uber and going back to the city, where you think you belong. You don’t need to be here. Why should you?

But then, before you can panic and run, all of the lights inside turn on, and the door opens.

“Y/N?” Yoongi asks when he sees you, but it’s not in disappointment at your sudden arrival. He looks surprised. Almost happy.

“Hey,” you reply, sheepish. “Sorry I didn’t warn you beforehand that I would show up at your door. I just didn’t want to bother my parents this late at night and I had nowhere else to go—”

Yoongi says nothing, just envelopes you into this bone-crushing hug that lets the warmth of his body seep into yours. It’s been too long since you’ve hugged somebody like this. Too long since you’ve seen Yoongi, relished in the company that you treasured for years on end. You almost thought you might have forgotten him.

“I missed you,” Yoongi breathes into your skin before he lets you go. “Never apologize for being here. Ever.”

“I just—I don’t want to intrude—”

“You’ll never be an intruder in my life, Y/N. You’re family,” Yoongi promises as he looks you dead in the eyes, hands firmly planted on your shoulders. “I’ll never be bothered by you.”

You force out a smile—the only thing you can do under Yoongi’s piercing gaze, full of love and concern. “I’ll be out of your hair by tomorrow, I promise. I can stay with my parents.”

Yoongi shakes his head, tugging you inside, suitcase skipping on the doorframe. “You can stay here for as long as you like, Y/N. I got room.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, you send Yoongi a thankful smile as you take in the sight of his home. Just like you thought, it’s cozy, reeking of Yoongi’s ever-constant presence. The beige paint on the walls is chipping away at the corners, and his rug is covered in what you assume to be dog fur, judging by the sleeping creature taking up residence on Yoongi’s sofa as you pass by the living room. You never met Yoongi’s dog before you left.

“Don’t worry about Holly,” Yoongi says casually when he notices how she catches your eye. “She’ll go right back to sleep if you wake her up because she’s lazy as hell.”

“She reminds me of you,” you muse thoughtfully, making Yoongi chuckle. It’s always so uncanny, how dogs and their owners mirror each other’s personalities without them even trying. The dog picks you, not the other way around.

Yoongi brings you into his kitchen, recently renovated (the stainless steel oven glows in the fluorescence of the light above your heads, and everything just smells new), marching over to his fridge and whipping out a Cherry Coke. Old habits die hard, and Min Yoongi stocks up on so many Cherry Cokes that his dentist is probably crying themselves to sleep.

“Want? I remember you used to love these, back in the day,” Yoongi asks, shaking the can slightly as he offers it to you.

You started liking them because of Yoongi, in school. He discovered them one day in the vending machine outside of the building and instantly fell in love, easily wasting away dozens of dollars just to grab a can before class. And then suddenly, he had everyone hooked on them by college. Everyone who stayed, at least. You would dare each other to shake up the cans vigorously before drinking them, drop Mentos into the bottles and watch them explode. Seokjin used to order them for you at the local 50’s themed diner, ask for two straws so you could share the beverage over the booth.

Isn’t it strange how the smallest things can bring back the biggest memories?

Isn’t it strange how even if you leave, you’re never really gone, and how even if you forget, you’ll always end up remembering?

Dwelling on the past holds you back from seeing the future, but seeing the future makes you want to stay in the past.

“Sure,” you say, nodding as Yoongi holds it out for you, grabbing himself one while you take the can from his hand. Before opening it up, you tap on the top with your nail, three times in quick succession.

“You still do that? God, you’re weird,” Yoongi says when he notices, shaking his head fondly as he leads you to the living room and sits down on the couch, you following his actions. “I swear, you’re like the only person on Earth who taps their soda can before opening it. Actually, you and Seokjin both—”

And then Yoongi pauses as he looks up at you, apology written all over his face as he realizes what words just left his mouth. You see how his eyebrows drops, concern and regret washing over his face like a tidal wave as his lips part, unable to speak.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says, a hand resting on top of yours as you shake your head. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine, Yoongi,” you promise, the mention of his name less like a stab wound to the heart and more like a pinprick. Not enough to make you bleed, but just enough to let the pain reenter. “I’m over it, I swear.”

You’re a liar. You know that much.

“I’m going to have to see him here anyway, aren’t I?” You continue helpfully, not wanting your best friend to feel too bad about a slip of the tongue. “No point in trying to avoid it.”

“But I know that it’s still a sensitive topic, Y/N,” Yoongi says, and goddamn him for being your best friend, because it’s so easy for him to see right through you. “If it wasn’t, you’d have come back sooner.”

“I’m getting better,” you insist. It’s a lie, and you and Yoongi both know it. If you really were getting better, then why couldn’t you let it go? You haven’t forgiven yourself yet, and you haven’t forgotten him, either.

Just then, the creature between your bodies stirs, and a small dog lifts her head up in wonder and confusion. Through her hazy eyes, she meets yours, tilts her head, unable to recognize the face in front of her, and goes right back to sleep.

“Holly!” Yoongi says, but she doesn’t budge. “Holly!” He calls again. “Oh, fuck it, she won’t wake up. Here, you finished with that?” He motions to your Coke can, now empty. “Cool. I can take it and show you up to your room.”

Yoongi snatches it from your hand before you can protest him doing everything for you, tossing it casually into the trash can in his hallway (the high school basketball skills never left him, it seems) before leading you up his creaking stairs.

When you set foot on his second floor, it occurs to you how much you don’t know about him anymore.

Min Yoongi is a music producer, but you only figure that out now, after a quick peek into the office beside his bedroom. Littered along the walls inside are old vinyls, hot pink Post-Its with reminders and lyrics and chords. Three keyboards, at least, and an impressive display of some hefty desktops. Min Yoongi always liked music, but he studied business in university. You never knew what he dreamed of doing.

“That? Oh, it’s a fuckin’ mess in there,” Yoongi says, grimacing. “I really need to clean it up one of these days.”

“Is this what you do?” You ask, in awe.

“Yeah,” Yoongi shrugs. “It’s kind of nice, actually. Real cozy, and I get to work from home and it keeps my financially stable. Still in debt though, hashtag college.”

You laugh to yourself as Yoongi drags you out of what is easily your favorite room in the house, shows you to his single guest bedroom. It’s drab but comfortable, and easily more than what you could ever ask for.

“Thank you, Yoongi,” you say as he leaves you to it, bidding you goodnight. “For all of this.”

Yoongi meets your eyes and you’ve never been too good at reading through the haze in his own, but you can make out the love he holds in his heart for you, the appreciation for the friendship that never left his side. He nods softly, so faintly that you almost can’t make it out, before closing the door behind him.

Maybe this trip won’t be so bad after all.

The first thing that you do on your first official day back is go grocery shopping. Yoongi wrangles you out of bed surprisingly early for a guy who used to sleep right until his 2PM classes in college with little to no effort. He stands over your bed, tired eyes blinking away the sleep left in them as he comes into focus.

“What, did you think you’d just get to dissociate and stay holed up in my guest room?” Is the first thing he asks you, hands on his hips as he looks down at you. “Come on, lazy. I need to go grocery shopping and get some sort of host gift for Hoseok, since that’s a thing that you’re supposed to do when you go to a party.”

You groan, wrenching the covers from where they’re tucked in at the foot of the bed just so you can hide under them, shield your face from Yoongi’s leering gaze. Five more minutes, you mentally beg. Being back requires a lot of energy to face the horrors that each day brings forth.

You hear Yoongi’s footsteps as they get farther and farther away from you. “I’m leaving in thirty and I’m taking you with me, whether you like it or not. No makeup necessary. We’re going to the supermarket.” With that, the door slams shut, and you roll over onto your back and sigh.

Thirty minutes later you’re trudging outside and waiting on the step of Yoongi’s front porch as he bickers with Namjoon to get his car back. You don’t understand why you can’t just go grocery shopping later.

Eventually, Namjoon shows up outside Yoongi’s door in that poor old Cadillac, and Yoongi’s tugging on your arm to get you to stand up so you can actually start going places instead of lounging in the hermitage that is Yoongi’s house.

“Knew we’d see each other again, Y/N,” Namjoon says happily as you climb into the backseat of the car. “Are you guys dropping me back off at home first or do I get to third-wheel your platonic get-together?”

“I’m gonna drop you off at the curb and you can walk home, fucker,” Yoongi says, and Namjoon just laughs. He knows Yoongi too well. Yoongi’d never do that to him.

You end up swinging by Namjoon’s little flat in the center of town, dropping him off right outside the lobby with a goodbye and a “see you at Hoseok’s party tomorrow!” He waves happily as you drive off, and you realize that it’s been a while since you’ve seen people so full of love and light in this town. It’s been a while since you believed there was any of that in this place.

The grocery store is the same one that was there five years ago, down to the flickering sign that they never bothered to replace. It smells the same, reeks of cigarette smoke and metal, and it’s the strangest scent that feels like home thus far. You never thought this lone, run-down supermarket would mean so much to you. It’s decently packed, unsurprisingly so since it’s so close to the holidays—even people in this small little town have shit to do before Christmas is upon them. You manage to snatch the last small-sized grocery cart from the rack and wheel it back to Yoongi, who grins as he drops a full carton of apple cider into it, snagged from the display shelf in the entrance.

“You want anything while we’re here, Y/N?” Yoongi asks as you wheel into the store.

“No thank you,” you say, shaking your head. “I’m only going to be here for a few days—no point in buying me anything nice.”

Yoongi chuckles. “That’s exactly the point, you dumbass. You’re here and staying with me and as your proud best friend-slash-host, I feel morally obligated to buy you some nice things while we’re here. You can’t say no. That’s not allowed.”

“But I don’t want you to waste your money on anything for me,” you insist. Yoongi’s hardly paying attention to you, too busy inspecting a box of clementines. He shrugs and drops the entire thing into the cart.

“It’s not a waste if it’s on you,” Yoongi says, not even meeting your pleading eyes. “Come on, man,” he nudges your shoulder, “don’t you miss those shitty store-brand fake Doritos that taste like spray cheese on a corn chip? I know you do.”

Before you can protest, Yoongi’s tugging you and the cart towards the chips aisle and grabbing a family-size packet of those generic cheese chips that taste like cardboard and Cheetos. He cuts off all your indignant cries without any qualms, insisting that he can spare some spare change worth of shitty chips. If you won’t accept anything else from him, you’re forced to accept this.

You suppose it isn’t that bad that he’s buying you some of the chips that you lived off of during your college years, reaching down into the cart and opening the packet, allowing yourself to indulge in a few. Eating these chips is like eating garbage, but it’s garbage that’s strangely addicting. You don’t want to know what kinds of drugs are in these chips. Ignorance is bliss.

You and Yoongi parade around the grocery store happily as you finally learn what it’s like to let loose again, the tension from being back in the one place you swore you’d never return to leaving your shoulders. Being back here is finally starting to remind you of the good times rather than the bad ones, memories of you running down the aisles at midnight with your futures bright and your eyes brighter.

There’s not a place in this town that doesn’t remind you of him but that’s okay, because the memories you have of you and him together are better kept as dreams than nightmares.

“Which holiday cake says ‘Thanks for hosting this party even though we all drew straws and yours was the shortest so you had no choice’ best?” Yoongi asks when the two of you are staring over the mildly-refrigerated display of desserts and pastries. You had told Yoongi that cakes were foolproof host gifts, so here you are.

“You drew straws?” You ask in confusion. “I thought you guys liked hosting holiday parties.”

“We did,” Yoongi admits. “But that was before you left. You made hosting the holiday parties so easy, helping us with all of the invitations and decorations and planning. But then you left, and all of us realized that we didn’t really know how to uphold the tradition without you.”

Yoongi’s words leave you in a stunned silence as they sink in. When you left, you thought that you were doing everyone a favor. When you left, you didn’t think anyone would want you to stay, other than Yoongi and your parents, really. You thought that leaving would be best for you, for Seokjin, and for everyone else. You didn’t see a point in staying.

You didn’t realize that they would miss you.

You don’t realize that they miss you until you come back and they tell you that they do.

“Oh,” you say, speechless. “I didn’t think that you guys would miss me like that.”

“Y/N?”

You thought you’d be prepared to face him. You really did, because you wouldn’t have come back if you thought you weren’t. But when you make eye contact, meet his fluttering brown irises, and realize that even though your mind told you it was ready, your heart knows that it isn’t, and your heart knows better than anything else. Even the sound of his voice is enough to have sirens blare in your brain as the memories come flooding back.

He looks good. That might be the one of the worst parts of this whole thing, how fucking good he looks and how much of a mess you are in comparison. Seokjin is wearing a suit that fits him impossibly well, navy blue tailored in all of the right places, a red tie around his neck that compliments his skin tone impeccably well. It doesn’t look like he’s missed you a single bit, not from the way he holds his head high and radiates confidence.

You, on the other hand, are makeup-less, wearing the slouchiest clothes you packed—you thought you were just going grocery shopping, for fuck’s sake—and, quite frankly, look awful. You know you do. The past five years haven’t been kind to you, and it shows, from your slightly crooked haircut to the bags under your eyes.

It’s evident to see how much of a toll your relationship (or lack thereof) has taken on the both of you.

“How about this chocolate one, Y/N?” Yoongi’s voice interrupts your whirring brain. “Y/N?” His words trail off when he sees who’s in front of you.

“Seokjin?” You ask, as if your eyes are deceiving you, like he’s not really there, in all of his glory.

He looks just as beautiful as the day he left you. And that’s the worst part.

“When did—when did—you came back?” Seokjin says, unable to form much of a coherent sentence as the sight of you registers.

“Believe me, I didn’t think I would either,” you joke, unsure on how to break the block of ice that’s formed between the two of you.

“I just…” Seokjin says, trailing off. “I didn’t know you were coming back.”

“You don’t know a lot of things about me, Seokjin,” you say, and sure, it’s bitter and petty and biting, but it’s the truth. Seokjin deserves to take at least some of the blame for how you’ve been moping about for the past five years. It’s only fair.

Clearly, your words catch Seokjin off guard. His mouth parts to say something but nothing can come out, and the sight makes you feel a little bolder.

“I—”

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks, coming up behind you with a frozen chocolate cake in hand. Seokjin’s bright expression immediately dims when he sees him approaching, standing next to you protectively. “Oh, hey, Seokjin.”

“Hey, Yoongi. Are the two of you—?”

“I invited Y/N back for Hoseok’s Christmas party, but I didn’t think she’d actually come,” Yoongi jokes, earning an indignant nudge in his shoulder from your elbow.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Seokjin comments mindlessly, words stiff. “I didn’t know that you had invited her.”

“I know.” Yoongi nods.

“Oh,” Seokjin says, taken aback by Yoongi’s bluntness. You’ve always loved that about him. “Well, it’s nice to have you back, Y/N. Are you—”

“We’re staying together,” you say, knowing fully well that it’ll tick Seokjin off even though he has no right to be pissed. “If that’s what you wanted to know.”

Seokjin’s entire body stiffens. “Okay, then. I’ll see you both at Hoseok’s party tomorrow night, then?”

“Looking forward to it,” Yoongi says, nodding his head. Seokjin sends the two of you a tight smile, grin forced, before turning around and walking the other way.

You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in when he’s out of sight, sighing deeply as you mentally calm your racing heart. No matter how long it will be, it will always be too soon to see him again.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Yoongi asks, voice laced with concern as he carefully places the cake in the cart, his other hand resting soothingly on your shoulder. “I didn’t know he’d be here. I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay,” you respond. “Thanks for talking to him for me.”

“You know I’d do anything for you,” Yoongi promises. “But I’m glad you’re feeling alright. It’s good practice for tomorrow, since you’ll have to see him there anyway.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, Yoongi,” you assure him. “I’m not a snowflake. I won’t melt under his touch.”

“I know,” Yoongi says, sighing. “I just don’t want him to break your heart again.”

The last time you went to a Christmas party hosted by one of your friends, you were a senior in college, on your way to getting your fucking Bachelor’s, and a little bit drunk off of a couple of beers you had had prior to arriving. Being mildly buzzed is really the only way to show up to a Christmas party, when you think about it.

This time, there’s no alcohol in your system, though you may as well chug a glass of wine or two anyway with all of the jitters running through your body. You could do with something ease your worries.

You don’t know why you’re so nervous. You really don’t. You’ve been psyching yourself up for this single event ever since you hit ‘Checkout’ on the airline website, confirming your plane ticket. This Christmas party is, essentially, the only reason why you’re back. A chance to briefly reconnect with everyone before flying off to the city you now come home, unable to tolerate being here any more than you absolutely have to.

The mere thought of having to face Seokjin again makes you want to stay at home.

But you’ll never get over it if you can’t learn to deal with it, and you’ll never learn to deal with it if you can’t will yourself to. Fear is but a word, and you are but a girl.

So, you pull your makeup out of your single suitcase, put on your nicest dress, and decide that maybe, if all goes well, you’ll be able to go back to your anonymous city life in peace. You’ll be able to leave this all behind without the regrets you left after you moved, find peace in new beginnings outside of the town that’s caged you in.

“Ready to go?” Yoongi asks as he knocks on the doorframe of his guest bedroom, alerting you of his presence. You look up, mascara finished on only one eye, and see him standing happily outside your room in what is the ugliest Christmas sweater you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Oh, right. You forgot that these parties involved a running tradition of ugly Christmas sweaters.

You got rid of all of yours when you left.

“Clearly not,” Yoongi comments to himself, answering his own question as you raise a brow in objection. “You actually look nice. The fuck?”

“Am I not allowed to look nice for a Christmas party?” You cry as you apply the rest of your mascara, trying not to blink so you don’t go smudging it everywhere.

“No,” Yoongi says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Jesus, it’s been five years and already you forget what is easily the most important tradition of our annual Christmas bashes? Leaving really did change you.”

You pout in protest to your words, setting your makeup aside and standing up. You dust off your dress just to make a show of how nice you look. Yoongi rolls his eyes in what can only be interpreted as an absolute fondness, shaking his head as he taps his fingers on your doorframe on his way downstairs. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and for a second, you think you might actually look like you belong here.

---

“Move out the way, people! Please get out of my way! I have a delicacy in my hand!” Yoongi shrieks as he walks into Hoseok’s house, making periodic beeping noises, just in case he needs to alert anyone further of his presence. He’s carrying the store-bought cake in both hands and treating it like it’s the world’s most precious diamond. In a way, shitty, high-calorie store-bought cake kind of is.

The first thing that you hear when you step inside behind Yoongi, not wanting to prevent him from getting the cake in his hands to its designated spot, is Hoseok’s boisterous laugh. It’s been five years but even you can’t forget the sound of it ringing through your ears like jingle bells. He must be on the floor at the sight of Yoongi in all of his glory, parading through his house with a cake in his hands, ugly Christmas sweater and Santa hat proudly on. You’d be laughing, too.

It’s so strange, being back. It feels like something of an out-of-body experience, where you’re watching everything happen but can’t picture yourself in the scenario. Like you’re watching a movie play out right before your eyes, only you’re one of extras. In books, they always talk about time freezing but the two main characters continue on, kissing and all of that nonsense as the world stops for them. But when you’re here, and you’re standing in the middle of Hoseok’s living room, surrounded by people who don’t have nearly as many regrets as you do, it feels like you’re the frozen one. Like you’re stuck in this awful suspended animation as everything around you keeps going, as the world turns but leaves you behind.

“Y/N!” Hoseok shouts, breaking you out of your trance. “Is that really you? My God, you haven’t changed a bit!”

Seeing Hoseok may very well be the most refreshing breath of air you’ve taken this entire trip. You only have good memories with him, thoughts of only laughter and light when you think back to university with him. Hoseok was the one person you knew you’d end up missing when you left.

“Hey, Hoseok,” you say, though you doubt he hears you over the sound of terrible karaoke to Mariah Carey on his television and the crushing of your bones as he envelopes you in a hug. “It’s been a while.”

“What?” Hoseok shouts.

“It’s been a while!” You repeat yourself, a little louder. It looks like you’ll be doing that a lot this evening.

“Sure has!” Hoseok says, swishing the glass of champagne in his hand. “Wow, adult life is really treating you well! You’ve never looked better, you know!”

“Thanks! You look nice, too!” You reply back, already getting tired of shouting.

“I know! Hey, where’s your ugly Christmas sweater? Come on, you invented that tradition!” Hoseok asks, nudging you when he finally takes in your outfit of the night.

You shrug helplessly, unable to produce a good enough excuse for your attire. You’re about to make something up when Hoseok bids you goodbye, trampling off to someone else.

Turning the corner, you enter Hoseok’s crowded kitchen, filled with people you recognize and people you don’t as they help themselves to the monster of a buffet Hoseok has on his counter. It looks like you could probably have a three-course meal just from picking one thing from each plate, but suddenly your appetite is gone and all you feel is a craving for something to drink.

Some alcohol could really do you good, you think as you help yourself to a beer. You have the slightest feeling that you might need to loosen up for tonight, just so you can survive. You don’t remember these parties being this overwhelming, but then again, being back has never been that overwhelming either. Not until now.

With a full bottle of beer in your stomach, you feel a little better. A little safer, really, knowing that now you can blame the words that leave your mouth on the alcohol rather than on you.

Seokjin’s here, somewhere, but you haven’t seen him yet and if you get lucky, you won’t have to see him at all. You’ll distract yourself with mindless chatter, hide in Hoseok’s bathroom until he leaves. If you’re lucky, he’ll swing in and out of this party in an hour or so, busy with some business thing he’s probably keeping himself occupied with. If you’re lucky, you’ll come to this Christmas party, celebrate with your old friends, and leave with no intent on returning. If you’re lucky, all will go as planned.

Somehow, someway, Namjoon manages to convince you to join in on an awful cover of something by Michael Bublé—you can’t really make out much over the sound of everyone else’s screaming, or maybe it’s all just noise from your unyielding mind—on Hoseok’s karaoke machine with some guy named Jungkook. You’ve never met him before, but he seems nice enough and clearly enjoys giving it all to Christmas-flavored karaoke. They sing at the top of their lungs and you hide behind their booming voices, loud enough for them to hear you but nobody else.

It may as well be the most fun you’ve had in a long while, terrifyingly so. Having fun is fine, but ever since you left, you’ve developed a fear of attachment. A fear of commitment, to a person, to a place, to a thing. With fun comes memories, and with memories comes a promise to stay. And that’s a promise you don’t think you can keep.

A clearly drunk Yoongi wraps his arm around you halfway through the night, when it may as well already be Christmas Eve with how late it’s getting. He’s swinging an empty wine glass in his hand and has a loopy smile on his face, one you’re far too familiar with to think that it could be anything else but the face of pure haziness. He turns his head to look at you, eyes crinkling up in delight.

“Enjoying yourself so far, Y/N?” He asks, slurring his words slightly.

“Doing swell,” you say, laughing at the sight of your best friend in front of you. “You okay there, hot stuff?”

Yoongi nods but then has to grab onto you for balance, and so you take the liberty to leading him to the somehow empty couch in Hoseok’s living room so you can set him down. Drunk Yoongi was mildly fun to take care of during your college years, but now that you’re older, you find that it’s just more of a hassle.

“Come on, big guy,” you say, encouraging him as he collapses onto Hoseok’s couch cushions. As you’re leaning over him, making sure he’s not too drunk, you finally meet eyes.

Seokjin looks like a fish out of water in this place, the only other person in the entire vicinity who deigned not to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, staring at you with his pupils dilated and eyes blown wide. Even in the dim light of the fairy lights that Hoseok’s strung up and the flickering bulbs of his lamps, he glows.

You turn away first, not wanting to pay him too much attention as you turn your focus on Yoongi, who’s weakly clawing at your shoulder. You call Namjoon over and ask him to help deal with the hammered mess that is Min Yoongi, and dash outside, desperate for a breath of fresh air.

You knew this was a bad idea,. You get outside and heave, exhaling heavily as you trip over your own feet on the way down to Hoseok’s lawn. Eventually, you settle down in the grass, allowing yourself to decompress. You should have known being back wouldn’t be good for you. It’s all still too much, too much thought and too much regret and too much fear. Repression is only as strong as you are, and you’ve never been very strong.

You tilt your head up, allowing the cool winter breeze to send goosebumps along your skin as you stare up into the night sky. At least there’s one thing in your life that’s constant.

You don’t know how long you’re out here, immune to what most others would call the biting cold of December nights, staring up at the stars like a hopeless romantic, wishing for something more. You? You’re just hopeless.

“Too crowded?”

You turn your head to the source of the voice, and see Seokjin stepping outside as well, softly closing Hoseok’s front door behind him.

“I guess,” you say, turning back to face the road. “I just needed to clear my mind, that’s all.”

“I noticed that you were gone,” Seokjin says, sitting down in the grass a safe distance away from you. The two of you are no longer on the basis where you can sit together and act like everything’s fine. It’s not. Not between the two of you. “I don’t know if it was because of me, but I wanted to come check on you.”

“I appreciate that,” you say, and for once, you actually mean it.

“Are you and Yoongi a thing?” Seokjin asks, and your heart breaks, because even five years ago you knew that this was always his biggest fear. His worst nightmare.

“We’re not,” you tell him. “We never have been.”

It’s an answer to the question he should have asked you five years ago, a response to what he should have told you instead of deciding that enough was enough. Relationships end because people don’t communicate, and the biggest flaw that the two of you share is that neither of you have ever been good at expressing yourselves.

“I’m sorry,” Seokjin says. “I shouldn’t have doubted that.”

“I wish you would have listened to me,” you admit, and oh God, the words feel like vomit coming up your throat. Like one wrong move, and it’ll all come spilling out. You knew you shouldn’t have come back. You should have known the night would end like this, end with you crying about what-ifs and could-haves and wishing that you’d have never returned.

“Me too.”

Silence settles upon you, like dust after a storm. You welcome it with open arms, because sometimes silence is all you need to hear. In the right moments, it’s so much louder than noise.

“How long are you staying?” Seokjin asks you, still avoiding your gaze. One small turn to face him, and you see that he’s staring up at the stars, thumbs twiddling in his lap. He’s always looked at the same sky that you have. You just didn’t notice.

“I’m leaving in two days,” you say, already looking forward to your December 26th ticket back home.

Is the city really a home if the people that make one aren’t there?

“Oh,” Seokjin says, somewhat dejectedly. “I was hoping you’d stick around for a bit longer.”

“Why?” You ask, finally turning to him. “Why now? Why are you asking me to stay, five years too late?”

Seokjin meets your eyes, and it doesn’t look like he’s crying now but it looks like he has before. He’s got the same pain that you do, visible in his chocolate irises. You just never took the time to see it.

“Because five years too late, I have things that I want to say to you. That I should have said, but didn’t. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You can leave. I won’t hold you back, like I did before. I won’t make the same mistakes,” he says, and it sounds like a swear, a vow, a promise. It’s frightening, because it makes your heart skip a beat as the hopeless romantic in you think that he means it.

He didn’t mean it last time.

“I can’t stay, Seokjin,” you tell him. “It’s too painful for me here. Everything reminds me of you.”

“Everything here reminds me of you, too,” he admits, and the words catch you off-guard, take you aback. Suddenly, the stars aren’t as important anymore.

Everything seems to pale in comparison to the thought that he might have missed you too.

“Don’t stay for me,” Seokjin says, changing his mind. “Just… just meet me? At the diner. Tomorrow, for lunch. I’ll be there at noon. You don’t have to come,” he says, standing up. “Don’t feel obligated to show. I know that—I know that you feel a lot of pressure to please others, but I want you to think about yourself. Just this once.”

His footsteps crinkle in the frozen grass as he heads back inside, leaving you left with nothing but yourself, your thoughts, and the stars.

When you tell Yoongi that you’re going out at 11:45 in the morning of Christmas Eve, he looks at you with his eyebrows raised, bewilderment riddling his features. But you’re already running late and you’ll chicken out if you think too hard about this, so you bid him a goodbye and run down to the nearest bus stop, leaving him speechless in his own doorway.

You still remember the bus route like the back of your hand. Five years and not a damn thing has changed, same stops, same creak of the wheels. Being on this bus, sitting alone in the back corner (nobody wants to travel on Christmas Eve), you almost feel like yourself again. Like you’re back in college, and the world that surrounds you is warm and bright. Like anything is possible.

You wish it were the same now. But the town that you’re in brings back only memories you wish would go away. Even during Christmas, the lights are dim and the sky is dull and nothing really feels worth celebrating anymore.

It’s muscle memory that tells you to ring the bell so you can get off. Nothing else, not when your mind is cloudy and fogged over with worry and regret. Your brain just barely recognizes the buildings the bus passes by, telling your hand to press the button when it realizes you’re at your stop. That’s what most things are these days, really. Muscle memory that just tells you to do things you already remember. That’s what these past five years have been.

You get off at the stop, staring right at the glowing 50’s diner in front of you. It’s all lit up like a Christmas tree, holiday lights dancing to the beat of the corny Christmas music that you can hear coming from inside. It’s so festive, so cheerful, a beacon of happiness in this dreary town, bleak without the smiles of rambunctious college teens to cheer it up.

Almost. Almost is such a shitty word because it’s never enough. Almost is what almost stops you from reaching out to open the door, what makes you pause right outside, unsure if it’s worth taking another step. You don’t know what lies on the other side of the door, what future awaits you in the booth that used to be yours. It’s 12:06 and Seokjin is definitely there, definitely waiting for a girl that won’t come for him.

You almost leave out of spite, out of revenge. It’s high time he get a taste of his own medicine.

But you can’t. You can’t bring yourself to step backwards, turn around and get on a bus ride home. Can’t bring yourself to leave him sitting there, alone on Christmas Eve of all days, hopeless and hopeful all at the same time. Because if you run from this then you’ll never stop. All you know how to do is run, run away from the problems that plague you, the memories that weigh you down. When was the last time you faced something head on? When was the last time that you decided that you were stronger than your weaknesses?

You take that first step, and it almost feels like a new beginning. Almost.

He sits in the same booth that you always sat in. Old habits die hard and these are some of the oldest. Some things that you just can’t let go of, no matter how hard you try. You walk over to him, positive that it’s your legs, not your heart that draws you towards him.

“Hey,” you say softly, sitting down across from him.

Seokjin’s expression lights up at the sight of you. “Hey,” he says, keeping his eyes glued to the menu. You already know what he’s going to order. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Me neither,” you admit helplessly. The only thing you can do these days is lie, but perhaps for today, it’d be worth it to tell the truth.

The waitress swings by to ask for you drink orders, and without thinking, Seokjin orders two Cherry Cokes. Muscle memory.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Seokjin says immediately afterwards. “I didn’t know if you wanted something different. I shouldn’t have just—”

He’s starting to sound like you, apologetic and worrisome and concerned.

“It’s fine, Seokjin,” you say. “Cherry Cokes are still my favorite.”

“Mine too,” Seokjin replies, breathing out a sigh of relief.

It’s so strange to see him like this, so hesitant and tentative when all your life, you’ve known him as confident and boisterous and unabashedly himself. Like your mere presence sends him spinning back into uncertainty, akin to something of a first date.

In a way, this kind of is one.

“Do you, uh—do you still get the same stuff here? Menu hasn’t changed,” he asks you, chipping away at the ice that’s settled between the two of you with a toothpick. This is so fucking sad.

“I guess,” you say, and you tell your heart not to skip a beat at the thought of him still remembering your exact order, like these five years haven’t happened and everything is back to the way it was. “Do you?”

“I haven’t been here in five years,” Seokjin admits. “But I do.”

“Seokjin, I—”

“I missed you,” Seokjin interrupts, voice soft and shaky. It’s so quiet you almost don’t hear him over the sound of the traffic outside. “I know you think I didn’t, but I did.”

He renders you almost entirely speechless, brain unable to process his sentences as it comes up with blanks, response empty.

“It hasn’t been the same here, since you left. For any of us,” he tells you, and the sincerity in his voice is such a change from the way you last heard it, five years ago when he was screaming his head off at you and telling you that your relationship was useless.

The waitress arrives at the most inopportune (or opportune) time with your Cherry Cokes, two cans beside two ice-filled cups. She places them down on your table and Seokjin orders for the both of you, request rolling off his tongue like nothing’s changed. When she leaves, you’re stuck in silence again as the two of you grab your respective drinks, tapping on the lid with your fingernails, out of habit.

You do it at the exact same time.

Old habits die hard.

If Seokjin notices he makes no mention of it, just pours the beverage into his cup and begins drinking.

“I wasn’t going to come back,” you tell him honestly, because it’s high time that you started being truthful to yourself. “I didn’t want to run the risk of seeing you again.”

“I don’t blame you,” Seokjin says, chuckling to himself. It’s like looking back on the past five years of your life through the lens of an older, wiser version of yourself. One that recognizes that things aren’t always as they seem, and that just because something ends doesn’t mean it’s gone. “I broke your heart.”

Hearing the words from him almost make it feel like it never happened. Like your heart never shattered in his palms a week before graduation. Like he didn’t know how delicate it was to begin with, how one wrong move and it would all come crashing down.

“I wish you hadn’t.”

“Me too.”

“What did you want to talk to me about?” You ask, hoping to change the somber mood, though you doubt anything either of you say could make so much as a dent in it.

“I’m sorry,” Seokjin says again, and oh God, you’re getting sick of hearing him apologize. Hearing the words tumble off of his tongue again and again because he feels like he can’t say it enough. “I’m sorry for being jealous and untrusting and unloving. I’m sorry for not treating you with the respect you deserved. You could have done so much better.”

“But you were the best I could have done,” you say before you can stop yourself from spiraling back down into a hole of regret, love and loss. “You were all I ever asked for.”

“And I couldn’t even give you that,” Seokjin says.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Seokjin,” you tell him. “I’m over it.” And for once, you finally believe yourself when the words spill out. You finally think that you’re right.

“I’ll always worry about you, Y/N,” Seokjin responds. “I love you.”

Sirens go off as your entire heart halts. “Seokjin?”

“I love you,” he repeats. “And it’s okay if you don’t love me back, because I don’t deserve your love after the way I treated you. I’m not saying this to make you stay, because you should do what’s best for you. Not for me. You’re so kind to others, Y/N. I want you to be kind to yourself, too.”

Blinking furiously, you will yourself to make the tears go away, because goddamnit. Goddamn Kim Seokjin, who will always make you swoon and fall in love with him, even after five years of solitude, of separation. Goddamn Kim Seokjin who is warm and bright and owns up to his mistakes, cares more about you than you probably care about yourself. Goddamn it, because even after five years worth of a broken heart all it takes is one phrase to begin to patch it up.

“You can’t just say things like that,” you whisper to yourself. “How do you think it makes me feel?”

“I shouldn’t have told you, I know,” he says. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”

“Seokjin, I—”

Your food arrives, a welcome interruption in an afternoon that feels like it’s just getting worse and worse. You drown yourself in the meal in front of you, food the only thing that can take your mind off of the thumping of your own heart and the unadulterated sadness that leaves your mouth. There are so many what-ifs and could-haves in this world, but dwelling on the past makes you scared of the future. And you don’t want to be scared anymore.

“Thanks for doing this for me,” Seokjin says when the meal is over, the bill is paid. He walks you out of the diner, staying a safe distance away to make you as comfortable as possible. You come to the realization that you’re only comfortable when you’re near him. “You’ve always been so selfless.”

“Seokjin, I just wanted to thank you,” you say as you reach the bus stop. “For all of this. For still loving me after I thought you stopped.”

“I’ll never stop,” he says. “I don’t—I don’t know if you’ll come back again once you leave in a few days, but I want you to know that seeing you again has made me truly happy, even if our old memories bring us only sadness.”

“I’m working on that,” you tell him, and you finally fucking meet his eyes. For the first time in a long time, there is hope and wonder laced in gold among his irises, promises that you know he will give his life to keep. “I don’t think our old memories bring me sadness anymore. I think I’m finally starting to see the happiness within them.”

December 26th rolls around and there’s a whole party sending you off, bringing you to the train station so that everyone can say their goodbyes.

What’s different this time is that you’ve promised to come back, something that three days ago, you could have never imagined. This time, you look forward to the day where you step off of the platform and see Yoongi waiting for you, gummy smile wide on his face as he sees you. Maybe you’ll see Seokjin, instead, and he’ll be waiting to pick you up in his fancy car and take you anywhere you want to go.

Yoongi pulls you in for a bone-crushing hug, makes you swear that it’ll be less than five years he’ll have to wait for your return. You promise to call him more, write to him often, keep in touch as much as possible. That was one mistake you made, cutting yourself off from your old life entirely. Sometimes memories are worth remembering, after all.

When you wrap your arms around Seokjin, the world finally starts to feel like home beneath your fingertips. You begin to believe that one day, you’ll rule the world again, with him by your side just like how it was always supposed to be.

“I love you,” Seokjin murmurs into your ear before you let go. “When you get back, we can do whatever you want to do. I’ll show you the whole world, if you ask me to.”

You love him too, you just haven’t said it yet. You don’t need to. He already knows, from the way you’ve promised to return, from how you nod happily when he says he’ll see you again.

The train arrives and you look back on your farewell party, stepping off of the run-down station and into the car. One look through the window and they’re waving to you, and as you wave back, you know that no matter how far you go, you’ll always come back home.

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