#anyway i did not want to end this post on a negative note

[meatsound]

man this is the least of anyones problems but the frick cancelling 10 centuries of islamic art is really getting to me. it feels like the west was really only starting to highlight islamic art - EVEN THOUGH ITS SOME OF THE RICHEST ART HISTORY IN THE WORLD - in the past decade or so and they found their excuse to be islamophobic and took it and ran. islamic art deserves to be celebrated!! anyway im just a random guy but if you too are interested in contemporary islamic art i'd recommend checking out bayt al fann

[buckys-little-belle]

Chapter Three - Raindrops and Goodbyes

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SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW. 

Warnings - Talks about past (bad) Caregivers, talks about fear of abandonment, some heavy negative feelings, comparing oneself to others, fluff but ends in some angst, Bub eats, food mentioned, Bub cries 

Word Count - 1751

Note - Sorry this took so long to get out! Things got hectic, and crappy, and I haven't been able to edit, or format, or really write lately! Luckily things are going well and I won't start school till the 16th so I'm hoping to get some stuff out in the next week or so! Part four will be posted tomorrow! I can't leave us on a sad note for too long! I just can't!!

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Y/n always hated wearing her yellow raincoat, the material feeling odd against her skin, and the crinkle of the fabric was never music to her ears. But on days like this, grey skies and heavy raindrops falling to the ground, she had no choice but to suit up. Her matching rain boots on, allowing her to splash in any puddle she felt needed to be played in. 

As she neared the Cafe she got excited, Bucky said they would go to the park today, and although it’s running she has hopes that he’ll let them go anyways, her umbrella overhead creating enough of a dry patch to maybe, at the least, run around in the mud without catching a nasty cold. 

“Mr!” She cheered as she walked in, something she did every time she saw him sat at his usual table, early as always. “I has something for you!” She smiled big as she unzipped the front pocket of her backpack “Here.” Her smile grew as Bucky’s mirrored hers, the small baggie with flowers printed on it full of chocolate chip cookies her pride and joy. 

“You made these?” 

“Yes!” Y/n says still standing, ready to leave for the park wherever Bucky is ready. Shifting her weight from one foot to another, growing impatient. “All on my own!” She cheered, proud of her baked goods. “Park now?” Bub asked, her smile still huge, both hands grasping the straps of her bag, now back on her back. 

“It’s raining, Bub.” Bucky frowned, causing Bub to mirror his expression. “But we’ll go next time, okay?” He asked, his hands immediately helping Y/n out of her raincoat, the buttons soon undone. 

“But you promised?” Y/n frowned, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “I wanted to go to d’park.” Y/n held back her tears, though she wished to stomp her foot and throw a small fit, she didn’t know Bucky well enough to truly let him see her little side completely. So instead she fixed her clothing after her coat had been taken off and sat in her usual seat. 

“I know I promised, Bub.” She smiled at the nickname. “But I brought us a fun game to play today.” He was quickly making her forget about the park trip altogether, now excited to see whatever game he had brought. She hoped it wasn’t UNO, she sucked at that. “Here.” He said as he placed a game on the table, the pink and blue of Candyland making Y/n let out a small squeal. 

“I love Candyland!” She grabbed the box and bounced in her seat. “Can we play now?” She asked, her eyes turning to Bucky, him already looking at her. “Please?” She added on for good measure. 

The moment he nodded his head she opened the box, pulling all the pieces out. “Why don’t you set it up, and I get us some snacks?” Bucky asked, Y/n didn’t even look up at him, but nodded her head. Too busy pulling out the different characters. 

Y/n didn’t know how long it took Bucky to get snacks, but by the time he got back to the table she had created a whole plot amongst the characters and their kingdoms. “Here, Bub.” Bucky said as he placed a plate on the table. It was more than the usual cake pop he got her, though one still sat on the plate. This time he got vegetables and dip, some goldfish, and a cup of juice. 

“Thank you, Mr.” Y/n smiled up at him, grabbing a celery stick and dipping it. “Can I be the ice cream cone?” She asked, showing him the character she had in her hand. Bucky nodded but stayed sitting. “You need’a pick a lil guy.” She pointed to the characters situated around the board. 

“Right.” He said, his expression growing serious as he looked each one over. “I’ll pick this one, he looks tough.” Y/n broke out into a fit of giggles, the marshmallow definitely not a ‘tough guy’. 

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They got to playing the game, Y/n winning two times in a row. She wasn’t surprised, while she knew it was all down to luck, she had played the game a ton of times so clearly the Candyland gods liked her more than Bucky. “Are you cold bub?” Bucky asked her, making her realise she was shivering slightly.

She knew not bringing a sweater might be a bad idea, but she thought they were going to the park. “Um, yeah.” She nodded then shrugged her shoulders. She hoped he wouldn’t make her go back home and get one, she only had so much time in a day to spend at the cafe. “Bu’ I’m all good, can we play again?” She asked, moving their pieces back to the star. 

“Yeah we can play again, just wait a second.” Bucky stood up, she wondered where he was going, but instead of leaving to grab something or go to the bathroom he stood at the side of her booth with a black sweater in hand. “Hands up, Bub.” He said, holding the sweater out. 

“I don’ need your sweater, wha’ if yous get cold?” She asked, not sure if her being so comfortable around Bucky her little side couldn’t help but come out now was a good thing or a bad thing. While she was 100% sure Bucky was a safe guy to be around, she didn’t want to get too attached to him just in case. 

“I won’t get cold.” He answered in a softer voice. She knew he was special, that’s what everyone in the newspapers said, that he’s indestructible. But she’d hate to be the person who gave a super soldier a cold because she took his sweater. “Bub.” His voice drew her out of her worrying. He was now crouched down so they were eye level. “I won’t get cold, but you’re shivering.” He didn’t wait for her to put her arms up, instead just putting it over her head and waiting for her to put her arms through on her own.

“Tanks.” Bub murmured, looking at Bucky with a small smile. She was thankful for the sweater, now warm, but she still worried that she was too much to handle. He had given her a lot, crayons, colouring pages, so much of his time, and now his sweater. She hadn’t given him anything but cookies that she hoped tasted okay. 

“Why don’t we play again?” Bucky asked as he settled back into his seat. “I can feel it, I’m going to win this one.” He teased, she shook her head, he had no clue that the Candyland gods were on her side, and she hoped he would never know. 

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Y/n frowned as she saw Bucky pacing around outside. It had stopped raining but he said that they should wait till a sunny day to go out, because ‘everything would be slippery’. Buck’s phone had rung five hours ago, well maybe two minutes ago, but it felt like forever as she just watched him pace with an unhappy look on his face. 

She grabbed the last few goldfish and got back to her colouring, when she had won for a third time Bucky had to quit, saying his ego couldn’t handle anymore. Y/n giggled at the memory. 

The doorbell rang out and she quickly turned, though her smile turned back into a frown when she saw Bucky’s sad expression. “I’m sorry, I have to go, Bub.” He said, his sad words said in a kind tone. 

“Oh, otay.” Y/n answered, watching him pack up his things. “Will you be back tomorrow?” She asked, her crayons laid on the table instead of in her hands. 

Bucky sighed, then sat down, his hands clasped on the table. “I’m going to be gone until next wednesday.” Y/n’s back straightened up, he’d be gone for nine days. That was a lot of time to be gone, and a lot of time for him to think and change his mind about her. 

“Oh, do you, do you wan’ your sweater back?” She asked, wiggling her hands out of the sleeves before Bucky got to her. His hands covering hers, a painful smile on his face. 

“You can keep it, I’ll get it back when I come back okay?” Y/n nodded. “I’ll put my phone number in your phone, and I’ll text you if I’m going to be back later than wednesday, okay?” She nodded her head, at least he wasn’t just up and leaving, he was giving her a point of contact if needed. She handed him her phone, watching as he took forever to type out his name and number. It was a little silly to watch. “I won’t be able to text or call you while I’m away.” He admitted. “But you can text me all you want and I’ll read them when I’m back.” Bucky offered, though she knew she wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t bother him while he was away, she knew people hated that. 

She just nodded her head, watching him as he put his coat and backpack on. “Stay safe.” She whispered as he stood in front of her, ready to leave. 

“And you be good, Bub.” Bucky whispered back, and then he was gone. She watched him get into his jeep and drive away. She knew her mind was being silly when she couldn’t help but think he wouldn’t come back, but it didn’t mean it stopped that train of thought. 

She knew deep down that he had to leave, he didn’t want to, but he had to. She knew he wasn’t like the other people who became her friends and then left and never came back, she knew that, somewhere in her mind she knew that. But she still couldn’t help it as a few tears slipped down her cheeks as she cleaned up. She couldn’t help but let out a small sad noise as she put on her coat, and she couldn’t help but sob the moment she got home and into bed. 

“He had to go save people, he was needed by the world because he's a good guy, that’s why he left.” She whispered to herself all night, but she still felt as though he had left because of something she did.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA : for bringing up 3 year old drama after I saw and recognised my ex’s AITA??

Okay I may be the total asshole that I’ve been called by my ex over this but I want to know everyone here’s opinion since apparently that’s what we do now.

So my ex made a ‘AITA’ and submitted it and it got quite a few responses. (I want to thank the general majority for giving him a YTA).

His post honestly made me laugh when I realised what it was. The title was about me and yet the entire post was about how much he misses his other ex and a ‘woe is me’ kinda self pity ( a little context cuz idk if I should include his title for you all to see: he cheated on her with me).

Anyways he was my best friend at the time and me and her had never really got along up until right before this happened . (That was shitty of me I know that but that’s not what I’m talking about now) . We’re all still in the same circle and since it was such a big betrayal (and he’s still so painfully obvious in how he refuses to let her go) the whole incident is still quite a big elephant in the room.

Now this is where I might be the asshole. I saw his post, recognised it and decided that I wouldn’t bring it up. It was just give him more of her attention, as he so desperately craves. The only issue is me and him dated like a year after the incident , then after me and the other girl bonded over what a complete ass of a guy he is.

We were all hanging out (our entire group) and me and this girl were sat together talking like normal (we’re actually roommates now) when he started calling her by his old pet name for her and flirting.

She became physically tense and uncomfortable where she sat next to me (the whole event was too much for her and she ended up in therapy to learn to trust again). It was then that I just couldn’t help myself (sidenote: I’m fiercely protective of her especially after I saw the effects of what I did to her) (second side note: I might also genuinely be in love with her) and I mentioned the AITA post.

I said “I thought you just wanted to put it past us?”. He looked so confused, everyone around us went silent and I just carried on. “I mean, that’s what you put on your Am I the Asshole post. That you just ‘wished we could all just leave it in the past’? Remember at the very end?”

Uproar. My roommate/the other girl burst into tears asking why he had to still after all these years put it on the fucking internet of all things. (She later asked me to show it to her and broke down reading the comments where people were being somewhat negative about her too) .

Whereas all of our friends (who usually just ignore his dickish behaviour) were calling him out saying the post doesn’t even remotely make him seem like what he is actually like and that it was way downplayed and that it was completely stupid of him to put up about the incident 3 years later still seeking validation for being just a dick.

Anyway now he’s pissed at me because everyone’s pissed at him for the post.

So tell me folks AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[xanasaurusrex]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ zeus cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ

a/n: these are my headcanons for the children of zeus! i love thinking about what traits kids of certain gods and goddesses would have, and since zeus is the king of the gods, i thought it would only be fitting to start with zeus! these are less about like powers and stuff like that and more just about how they would be as people!

zeus kids can get kinda crazy

they're always the life of the party, and yet somehow they also shut down the party?

they're just good at knowing when things are getting too out of hand

speaking of knowing things

it's almost as if they have a sixth sense in knowing things, just like general things

oh this person liked this other person

the zeus kids already knew

you cheated on your math test?

yeah, they had a feeling

that kinda stuff

zeus kids also all weirdly have this universal little tic where when they're really bored, they'll rub their hands against something that can create static, and then play with the static in their hands

they can do the thing where they kind of roll it from one finger to another, and then back again

they can also utilize this to shock people, but only ever so slightly

technically they could summon a whole storm and electrocute someone, but very rarely do they have that urge

another thing to mention:

zeus children can hold a grudge

they're masters at being mad at someone for something they did days, weeks, months, or even years in the past that likely they forgot they did

but zeus kids didn't

they never forget

honestly even a bad first impression can really affect your relationship with a child of zeus, because they don't forget things easily

their minds are steel traps

children of zeus are also natural born leaders

this can cause quite the scene when there are multiple zeus kids up for a leadership position because they all fall into a leader role just naturally

a lot of people appreciate this because they're saved from having to lead themselves

but others find this incredibly annoying, and think that zeus kids are all very arrogant and full of themselves

there are some that are like that, thinking they're better because their dad is zeus

but that kind of reaction to being a child of zeus is pretty rare

most of the time it brings them great annoyance because monsters can smell them from farther away, and it makes them much more eligible for dangerous quests, which sometimes is a good thing, but when the mortality rate for a quest that dangerous is usually 0, it can be a little daunting

probably the best trait that children of zeus possess is their loyalty

i understand that this probably doesn't make much sense, considering the fact that zeus was never really known for being very loyal to pretty much anyone in his life

but zeus kids are

this is observed the best during battle, when they would do anything and everything for the people fighting alongside them

they're loyal friends and lovers, too

which, again, doesn't make a lot of sense when looking at who their dad is

but a lot of their lives have been negatively affected by him being disloyal, so a lot of them have a tendency to make sure they're loyal so that they don't end up like him

as amazing as zeus thinks he is, a lot of his kids aren't his biggest fans

in conclusion, zeus kids are pretty cool

they definitely have their flaws

(such as having a tendency to flake last minute when it comes to making plans with other people)

but ultimately they're pretty good people

they're very skilled when it comes to battle, and they're good friends

basically just good people to surround yourself with

a/n: so i won't be doing author's notes at the end of everything, but i just wanted to thank you for reading my very first official post! i'm going to be doing headcanons for the other gods and goddesses, both major and minor, because i just find writing for that kinda stuff really fun! also i really love headcanons (totally not because they're easier to write than full fics, definitely not at all)

anyways, thanks for reading, and be on a lookout for more stuff in the future!

[intimidating-fettuccine]

request for you to write what you want, tale care of you :3

Thank you very much :)

More random creep headcanons!

Every time Toby and Tim have an argument, after they're done Tim will give Toby a big hug and a kiss on the forehead, especially after a serious argument. Tim started doing this because Toby tends to immediately internalize negative occurrences, and when they first met Toby began to think that Tim actually hated him, when in actuality, Tim seriously loves and cares for Toby like a brother, so it became common for him to do this every time as a way to remind him that he still loves him and they're still family since he's not good with his words. 

A few of the creeps call Slender 'Dad' every now and then, some of them jokingly and some of them seriously, but Toby actually actively calls Slender 'Dad', so long as he's not working, anyway. He does it more often when the two of them are alone, but everyone has heard him do it quite often. Slender never says anything about it because it absolutely melts his heart, and he does view his residents as family, so it's become something that he accepts as he could never tell Toby to stop. After all, how's he supposed to tell him not to call him that when Toby does stuff like excitedly running up to him to show him his latest drawing, yelling out "Dad, look what I did!" so happily and excitedly, and how could Slender NOT hang it on the fridge like the proud parent he is??? Slender might have a hard time admitting it, but he truly views Toby as his son after all these years too. 

Jeff is the coordinated back cracker. If someone needs their back cracked, it's become common for all of them to ask Jeff, and he'll sigh dramatically, and he'll hoist them onto his own back and crack their backs for them. He himself doesn't even remember how it started, but he doesn't have the heart to tell people no, so he just begrudgingly cracks everyone's backs for them. He even gives them a little shoulder rub afterwards too because he knows how demanding their jobs can be on their bodies and everyone is so tense all the time. Tim is Jeff's coordinated back cracker as well, to return the favor. 

BEN bought multiple packages of incredibly tiny ducks, equaling up to 1,000 total ducks, and he has hidden them all in the mansion. Nobody moves them because it makes them laugh whenever they see one, but they've started putting little stickers next to the ones they've found. Every time they find a new duck they think they're one step closer to finding them all. The fools, BEN calls them, as he laughs at them from upon his duck thrown, have only found 568 of them. There are still so many to go. Sometimes he considers removing a few so they can actually feel accomplished, but then the knowledge that he knows where all 1,000 ducks are and nobody else does gets to him, and he decides to leave all of the ducks and watch everyone's confusion grow when he tells them they haven't found them all yet.

Sally has a new little game she plays, where she tries to stick things to people without them noticing. She ended up coming into possession of a very large pack of Post-it notes, and so she decided to just stick them to people with various things written on them to see if she could get away with it. The notes range from compliments like "You look beautiful today!" to things like "You look like a goblin!" and the creeps never know what they're going to get if she succeeds. Sometimes they catch her in the act and she gets all grumbly and says she'll get them next time, sometimes they will knowingly let her do it so she gets excited, and sometimes she will actually do it without anyone noticing. She's gotten everyone successfully at least three times, including Slender. Some of them are much easier than others. She's gotten Toby successfully 57 times. 

[rosepetalsinwinter]

Look At Me — Bucky Barnes

Pairing: 40s!bucky x nurse!reader

Word count: 11,951

Summary: She never expected to fall so deeply for Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes, what with his skirt-chasing tendencies and cocky personality. Except how was she to know war would change everything she thought she wanted? Suddenly, she wanted him.

Warnings: angst, violence, WW2, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, death, torture, whump, HYDRA, post-serum Steve Rodgers, kissing, angst with happy ending. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Note: I got a little carried away... oops. Anyway, happy reading!

Ao3│Wattpad│Ko-fi

Main Masterlist

Enjoy!

"We'll set up camp here. The sun's getting low, and it's not safe to travel at night. We'll freeze to death if we try." James "Bucky" Barnes flung his pack to the ground and stretched his aching limbs over his head, sore from walking all day.

The infantry had left camp early that morning, just before dawn. They were to travel across the Eastern Italian border and meet the British battalion just south of Azzano. General McGinnis planned to march with a regiment of his own a week after news of the 107th's safe arrival reached camp.

"Should I start a fire, Sergeant?" Private Andrew Eaton asked, rubbing his hands together. The sun was setting, spreading a soft glow over the snow-ridden forest. "Warm us up?" His eyes flicked toward the girl, and she stiffened under his gaze.

She was a nurse, travelling with the soldiers because of her immaculate record. She had never lost a man before; one could be on the brink of death and would survive if she got her hands on them. Her expertise was unmatched and desperately needed on the Eastern Front, where the allies were losing men at an alarming rate.

Bucky shook his head. "We're too close to enemy lines. The smoke will draw attention, and we can't risk that."

Multiple eyes drifted to the nurse's shivering form, some filled with pity, others with concern. She had not once complained about the walk nor the temperature, but she was no soldier. Everyone knew her body was at risk of collapse; unaccustomed to the harsh terrain of the Dolomite Mountains, her back hunched with the weight of her pack, her eyes drooped with fatigue, cheeks crimson with cold and body trembling.

Mimicking Bucky, she, too, flung her bag on the frozen soil and dropped unceremoniously on it, finally giving in to her exhaustion.

"You sure about that, Sergeant Barnes?" Eaton questioned. The girl widened her eyes in alarm. It was one thing to hold the soldiers back with her slow pace and decreased stamina, another to put them all in danger. "Maybe we should risk it."

Typically, questioning a superior officer was inappropriate and inexcusable, but not one person reacted negatively to the Private's question. Murmurs of approval spread through the men.

Bucky turned toward the nurse, taking in her form. Like the rest of his soldiers, he also worried for the girl—more than he should have. She did not have any endurance training. She had not even left the relative safety of the camp until now, and it took everything in Bucky to stop himself from carrying her back to base camp, where she would be safe from the threat of gunfire and death.

He opened his mouth—to either agree with Eaton or disagree with him—no one could know. The girl chose that moment to let go of her hesitations. "I once spent an entire night out in the streets of France with just a pair of gloves and a tattered jacket," she rushed out. At the confused looks, she clarified, "in the middle of December." More looks. "In negative twenty-five-degree weather..." her voice was slowly tapering into shyness. "I am alive, am I not?"

"How much is that in Fahrenheit, Miss?" And the conversation moved forward.

The soldiers insisted on lighting at least a small fire for the girl's sake, igniting one under the cover of the dense coniferous trees. While the men began to set up camp for the night, Bucky stood there with a puckered brow and a frown marring his features, before shaking his head and helping them.

The nurse decided she would not be the one to risk them all. After another twenty minutes or so of bickering, she finally lost her temper. "You might as well know by now; I'm inherently stubborn, and nothing any of you say or do will change my mind."

After that, a perimeter was established, lookouts were posted, and tents were begrudgingly set up. Some soldiers retired to rest while others passed down alcohol, huddled against each other to conserve heat.

"It'll warm you up." Bucky sat down next to the shivering girl on a collapsed, decaying tree. He thrust a flask toward her mouth, urging her to drink from it. He took a sip when she made no move, clearing his throat and asking her again. "Will you drink some?"

His voice was sweet and kind, and she despised it. She pursed her lips in response and leaned away. "No, thank you," she replied while her teeth chattered.

Bucky frowned in annoyance. Her stubbornness, which he usually found amusing, was turning out to be somewhat of a hindrance.

"Sorry, doll, but it wasn't a question." He thrust the flask toward her once more, belligerent in his attempt.

She leaned farther away, and Bucky followed her, trapping her against the tree. "No, thank you. You know I don't drink alcohol—."

"Yes!" he suddenly grew frustrated and ran a trembling hand through his brown locks. Somehow the girl always managed to get on his nerve. "I know you don't drink, alright? And I know you hate cursing, that you're stubborn as hell, and that you talk funny because 'proper use of language is important.' I also know that you'll die of hypothermia if you don't warm yourself up, and I rather not have to explain to Colonel Phillips that we lost our only good nurse to stubbornness."

The girl inhaled sharply, her emotions in overdrive. She didn't realize how much he noticed her little quirks.

"I'd rather not have to explain to Colonel Phillips that we lost our only good nurse to stubbornness."

"Now, your whining might've worked in Brooklyn," Bucky continued. "Especially with Steve backing you up; but it won't work here. If you haven't noticed, we're not in New York anymore."

"I have eyes," the girl snapped, convinced she was nothing but a burden to him and the soldiers. She wondered again why Colonel Philips sent her, of all people, with the 107th. She didn't think she was that good. "You won't have to explain a thing. Don't worry. I won't die so easily."

Her words were laced with contempt and a hint of something else. Remorse, Bucky realized with a start, though before he could ponder on it any longer, she began to rise, seemingly done with their conversation.

"Damn it, woman!" Bucky's loud voice caught the entire camp's attention. He grabbed her forearm and yanked her back down. She winced when her bottom landed on the trunk a bit too hard. "I'll force this down your throat if I have to."

The girl blanched, shocked by Bucky's authoritative tone. "N-no, you will not!" She made an effort to appear commanding, but her stutter betrayed her. She was scared he would make good on his promise.

"You do not want to test me," he seethed. There was a look in Bucky's eyes she had not seen before. A crazed, almost feral glint in his pupils.

Her heartbeat quickened, and her insides warmed. She chalked it up to adrenaline. "I'm not that cold anymore."

Bucky said nothing, just continued to stare at her with the feral look still in his eyes.

Seconds passed—seconds that felt like minutes—before he spoke. "We're sleeping in one tent tonight." She didn't know why he was telling her that. "Together. To preserve body heat." She was still confused. "You either drink this, girl," he thrust the flask toward her lips once more. "or I'll make you sleep between my men. God knows they haven't touched a woman in months. So they won't have any complaints."

She argued with him, calling him petty names, and stuttering through excuses. "Y-you—you're."

"What?" he taunted. "Say it. Am I an asshole? A fucking idiot? Go on, don't be shy."

"You're an incompetent Sergeant. The most incompetent I've ever met!"

"I'm the only Sergeant you've ever met," Bucky deadpanned. "Seriously? That the best you can do?"

It was. "You're not that cruel! You're bluffing, like you bluffed about throwing me in the East River last year when I went out with that doctor."

"That doctor was a fucking creep with a criminal record," Bucky seethed. The girl's refusal went unheard. "And I wasn't bluffing. If Steve didn't stop me, you would have been swimming with the fish."

She muttered her annoyance under her breath, but Bucky caught it.

"God as my witness, I'll take you over my shoulder and lie on top of you if I have to!" One look into his eyes, and she could tell he was not lying.

When again he thrust the flask toward her mouth, she begrudgingly took it from him, bringing the cool metal to her lips. When the alcohol's bitter smell reached her, she almost gagged at the potent stench.

"I can't!" the girl choked on a sob, shoving the flask back into Bucky's hands.

A smirk adorned his pink lips, so unlike the anger she had been expecting. "Don't say I didn't warn ya." And before she could react, her world had been turned upside down.

Her legs went up, and her head went down. For a few moments, she froze, unable to understand what had happened. When a hand landed on her bottom, she gasped, realizing that Bucky had indeed made good on his promise—taken her over his shoulder.

When she screamed out of frustration, he shushed her. "Don't make me gag you."

The girl felt red, hot embarrassment at being treated like a child in front of all the soldiers. She scratched fruitlessly at Bucky's back, only to end up clutching his fatigues with numb fingers as he carried her across the clearing. At least the men had half a mind to keep their gaze averted when she was thrown unceremoniously inside one of the tents.

"You act like a caveman," she hissed, looking up at his scrunched brow.

Bucky's eyes softened, and all previous frustration and anger left him. Her insult amused him, and he plopped down next to her with a silent huff. "And you act like a brat."

The girl's answering words died on her tongue at Andrew Eaton's voice. "Lose the frown, Miss. There's not a single man here who wouldn't take a bullet for you, Barnes included."

A couple more soldiers entered the small tent, taking up the rest of the space. The girl ignored them, inhaling deeply. "I was perfectly fine outside, Andrew. Not cold at all."

A quick laugh from Bucky. "Is that why your lips are blue, and you're shaking like a leaf? 'Cause, you're not cold at all?"

"—He's just tryna keep you alive," Andrew interrupted before another argument could ensue.

A laugh bubbled up in the girl's throat before she could stop it. For some reason, the suggestion that Bucky Barnes was keeping her alive made her hysterical. Bucky Barnes, the man who couldn't keep a plant alive. She laughed until her stomach hurt, then she took a deep breath, clutched her middle while she fell backwards, and continued laughing.

"Fucking hell? She's crazy," the girl heard Bucky curse under his breath, but she was so far gone in delirium she could not be bothered to scold him for it.

"At least she's not frownin' anymore," Andrew offered.

The girl laughed harder, curling in on herself. Bucky stared at her with confused amusement, barely concealed, and chuckled softly. She was the most bizarre person he had ever met. So odd. Lately, he caught himself smiling more in her presence than ever before, finding it harder to resist her contagious delights. She was a constant amusement for the rest of the soldiers as well. Entertaining, though stressful.

She was still very clumsy, tripping on rocks and slipping down declines. A soldier needed to be watching her all the time, and that soldier, unbeknownst to her, was generally Bucky. He had grown eyes in the back of his head, trying to ensure she did not hurt herself. The girl had touched the hearts of all the men, his most of all, though he tried to conceal the fact by being curt and severe with her. Despite that, he did find pleasure in being able to tame her.

Ludovic Fournier, the Frenchman, muttered a phrase in his native tongue, and Andrew translated for him. "Women go a bit crazy before starting their courses. It's best to indulge them and not question it."

The entire tent went crazy, laughing and hollering almost as hard as the girl had been. Though she was not laughing anymore, and she was not amused. Her laughter died as quickly as it started—jarringly abrupt.

"I'm right here, you know!" She turned to the Frenchman. "Dis-moi, monsieur," the girl turned to him with a sarcastic and slightly intimidating curl of her lips. "Comment avez-vous appris tant de choses sur les femmes?"

The Frenchman swallowed thickly, and from behind him, Andrew translated his words to the small group. "She's asking how he got so damn smart."

"Ma femme."

"Ah! Idiote moi. Mais bien sûr. Ta femme doit être folle si elle tá épousé. Rien à voir avec se scours. Accune femme saine désprit ne portrait passer plus d'une journee avec toi sans avoir besoin d'être admis dans en établissement mental par la suite."

"She says, don't blame that time of the month, or your poor wife, when it's you're the reason she's like that." He guffawed out loud, drawing the girl's attention, before continuing. "Anyone would go crazy after spending more than a minute with you. Jesus Christ! Man, oh, man!"

The girl went warm all over. That was precisely why she tended to keep quiet. Her temper would rise if she did not keep her emotions in check. She had only ever lost it with Bucky before, never in front of a crowd. "Excuse me, gentlemen," she mustered what remaining dignity she had left, "but it's time for me to rest. I will see you all in the morning, bright and early. Good night."

Amidst all the hysterical laughing and the rampant rambling, the girl had forgotten Bucky's promise. He yanked her down before she could leave. He had indulged her long enough.

"I'm not letting you kill yourself—don't," he started, when he noticed her lips curl, "start laughing again. It was traumatizing enough the first time."

What he meant: "Please don't laugh again, because if you do, I wouldn't want you to stop. Ever." Except he did not know he felt such a thing. So, he annoyed her instead, undermining his affection for her.

The girl huffed loudly, voicing her frustration. The rest of the men settled inside the tent, pressed against each other for heat, hoping for at least a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. "I'm not cold anymore. I told you before."

"You're the worst liar I have ever met. Seriously! Worse than Steve." That was true. Steve was a horrible liar. "I can see you shivering. Hell! I can hear you!"

Bucky decided to give her a choice. A poor one, yes, but a choice, nonetheless. "Where do you wanna sleep? In between Fournier and Ward or next to Eaton?" He leaned in close, putting a hand next to his mouth as if indulging her with a secret. "I gotta warn you, though. He snores like a pig."

The girl simmered. She did not want to spend the night in the middle of men, and Bucky knew that. He was intimately aware of her reservation toward the opposite sex."Over here is fine." She was referring to the front of the tent where she was already seated.

"Perfect! This way, I'll be able to keep an eye on you."

"Excuse me?"

"You did choose the coldest spot, but I won't complain. Promise." He shrugged out of his jacket.

"What are you doing?"

"—as long as you wear this."

By now, it was a sort of ritual for Bucky to demand something of the girl and for her to deny him. No matter how helpful or minuscule the command, she could hardly help it anymore, even though it always ended with her compliance—sometimes forced.

"No, thank you." She was nothing if not stubborn.

Bucky scoffed. Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her down until she was in his lap. The girl stifled her scream and gasped instead.

The rest of the men were almost all asleep, exhausted from the long day. So was the girl, though she would not admit it. She was tired and cold—more than usual—and scared; of what was to come and of what was currently taking place. Her ancient promise of staying away from James Buchanan Barnes was becoming harder to uphold.

Bucky knew this—not of her promise, of course, but of her crumbling resolve—So he pushed. He flustered and confused her. "Only because it's amusing," he told himself—her reaction to his teasing. "Only because it's amusing,"

"You should stick with red. Purple is not a good colour on you, and that's what you'll become if you don't listen to me." He placed his jacket over her shoulders, and she was instantly warmed.

"What about you?" Her voice was meek and hesitant, words honeyed in their delivery. "Will you not get cold?" But he only smirked and raised his brows in answer. "Oh. Right." She had forgotten his natural affinity for all things warm, so unlike her own, for all things cold.

"I've got both you and Eaton keeping me warm. I wouldn't worry about it." Bucky smirked when the girl said nothing and only blinked in surprise.

She lowered herself, letting her head touch the soft ground. Tarps had been placed neatly all over, offering protection from the snow surrounding them. She turned away from Bucky, putting a foot of space between him and herself, holding her breath when she felt him lie next to her. However, the second she relaxed, his arm wrapped around her midsection and pulled her flush against his front, not an inch separating them.

"Bucky!" she warned in a hushed whisper, struggling against his hold. "This is inappropriate!"

"No!" he huffed in her ear, hot breath warming her neck. "This is survival!" She continued her futile attempts, trying harder to elude his grasp. "Besides, I gave you my only jacket, and I need to—Damn it, woman! Stop moving," he groaned in her ear.

"Why?" she asked, squirming harder.

"Because—Damn it!" he groaned again. "Just stop, will ya?" A deep breath. "Please."

The girl went still. Bucky Barnes never said please, never begged. She had not thought it possible. So, to hear him beg her... she decided she could never let Bucky Barnes use that word ever again. It was dangerous when uttered by his lips. An irresistible, compelling word that she could never deny, gladly giving in to any request.

"Please."

"Sorry," she muttered quietly, quickly settling down, unsure if he was listening. He was. "I'm sorry."

The girl let the tiredness of the day wash over her. She let Bucky's arms hold her, keep her safe and warm, and protect her. Her eyes closed, and she entered the state before sleep where the body was still aware and preparing for rest.

"You drive me crazy," Bucky's whispered in her ear, so quiet she convinced herself she imagined it.

"You drive me crazy too," was her last thought before she let deep slumber overtake her. Except the girl knew Bucky did not mean it with the same intention as hers. "So crazy."

At a steep decline, her foot swept away from under her on an icy patch of grass. From behind her, Bucky dropped his copy of "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn," extending his arm to grab her. He was not fast enough, and she fell on her back, sliding down until she hit a mountain of fresh snow.

"Jesus Christ, Darling!" Bucky reached under her arms to haul her up as if she weighed nothing. "You gotta watch where you're stepping."

"It's too dark," she sputtered, wiping snow off her face. "I couldn't see anything." From the east, the full moon was their only source of light, doing a poor job of illuminating the path through the dense forest around them.

"Fucking hell," Bucky swore, appraising the girl from head to toe. "You're soaked."

"I'm fine," she rasped, already beginning to shiver as the cold permeated her layers to settle in her skin. "I can keep going."

"Like hell you can," Bucky muttered, looking ahead to see everyone else's progress.

"There's no need to swear," the girl grumbled, pulling her hat farther down.

Bucky raised a brow at that. "At least the cold didn't get to your head."

She rolled her eyes, turning to leave, but Bucky grabbed her before she could take a single step, hauling her up in his arms. She shrieked, wrapping her hands around his neck for stability. "What are you doing?"

"You're going to trip again," he said by way of explanation. "It's just a little bit further. Then we'll set up camp."

Bucky ignored the girl's protests, quickly catching up with the rest of the battalion. They walked another mile in about half an hour, and Bucky ignored all of the girl's grumbling, only acknowledging her once they reached a small clearing and began setting up camp.

"Shut up," he grumbled, to which he received a smack on the back of his head.

"You shut up."

He lowered the girl next to the small smokeless fire Simon Ward lit, draping his jacket over her, "Dry up as much as you can. I'll be back."

Scooting closer to the small blaze, the girl pulled Bucky's jacket tighter around her shoulders, studying the flame with intensity as she recalled waking up the past few days.

The girl had gone to sleep slightly rigid and stiff, unused to resting next to another body, but she woke up in a tangle of limbs. Bucky's hands in her hair, her face tucked in the crook of his neck. Sometime in the middle of the night, she had turned over and gravitated closer to the heat his body was radiating. It was the best sleep either of them had ever had. Neither was willing to acknowledge it.

The night after was a repeat of the night before. Bucky threatened alcohol down the girl's throat, and she responded with a litany of insults which he laughed away. They wrestled while everyone watched—Bucky won, and the girl awoke the next day surrounded by a familiar warmth and a musky scent one could only describe as Bucky Barnes.

A week later, the moon was low in the sky, marking the beginning of winter. Neither the girl nor Bucky brought up their temporary sleeping arrangements, choosing to ignore the feelings festering inside them. The girl felt her resolve slowly crumbling. What was that promise she made to herself regarding Bucky Barnes? She couldn't quite recall.

The girl busied herself with unpleasant memories of his. She remembered when she first moved into the apartment across from Bucky. She was carrying a box full of books up the fifth floor of a six-story building. She had to take a break every few minutes to rest her arms, or they would've fallen off. Just outside her door, she collided with a brick wall. Her books went flying—so did she—and Bucky Barnes ran past her without so much as an "excuse me," muttering profanity under his breath. From then on, she started hating him.

That's how she met Steve. The slender young man popped a blonde head out of his friend's door and asked if he could help. She said, "no thanks," but he didn't listen, insisting on bringing the rest of her things up. That night, over a cup of hot tea, she learned about James Buchanan Barnes and his skirt-chasing tendencies. She began to hate him a bit more.

She recalled all his jabs of how she dressed, the way she looked, mocking her insecurities by sarcastically complimenting her. The ruined date with that doctor—never mind the potential criminal record. His threat to drown her.

He broke her friend's heart, told her he would call the next day and didn't. She was married now with a baby on the way, but it was the principle of the thing that irked her.

One by one, all of Bucky's wrongdoings came to the forefront of the girl's mind. When he argued with her, undermined her, and treated her like porcelain. When he called her "doll," "darling," and "sweetheart."

She hated that most of all.

Still, she could not ignore the tiny flutter in her heart whenever she thought of the blue-eyed sergeant. Despite all the bad, she now only remembered his warm smile and comforting embrace.

The girl brought her hand dangerously close to the fire, letting the flame irritate her skin before pulling away. She still felt cold.

Bucky returned a few moments later, rubbing his bare hands together in front of his face. "You tired?"

The girl ignored his question, asking one of her own. "Where are your gloves?"

Bucky's frosty breath momentarily covered his face. "Bradshaw lost his."

"Jeremy?"

Bucky nodded with a smile, unsurprised the girl knew most of the soldiers' names. "Wait, what are you doing?"

She fished her gloves from her coat, thrusting them toward him. "They're dry now. Here, take them."

"Don't be stupid," Bucky scoffed, "you'll get cold." Still, she persevered, leaving her hand dangling. "I'm not taking your gloves," Bucky said with finality.

"Alright," she nodded, dropping her hand and taking off his jacket instead.

Bucky seized her by the shoulders, stopping her and giving her a little shake. "What the fucking hell, woman! Keep your jacket on. It's freezing."

"Don't swear. It's yours, not mine. Take it." She tried prying his fingers off, but he wouldn't budge. "The gloves or the jacket, Bucky. Your choice."

"So goddamn stubborn. Every day you find something new to argue with me about, don't you?"

"Pick one," she warned, "or I'm giving both to Jeremy."

With a mumbled curse, Bucky snatched the gloves from her lap, putting them on like a petulant child.

"And say thank you," she snapped, slightly perturbed he hadn't taken back his jacket.

Bucky squinted his eyes, dropping down next to her. "You're acting like a real brat today."

"You're acting like a caveman! Now leave me alone so I can sleep in peace." She had turned away from Bucky, but when he offered no reply, she swallowed uneasily and looked back. His eyes glinted with mischief, hinting at his next step. "Bucky, no!"

She tried to stop him but was no match for his strength. Her world spun, and she found herself on his shoulder once again. Thankfully she stayed quiet this time, not bringing any extra attention toward them.

"I'll show you caveman." Bucky plopped her down in one of the smaller tents with space just enough for two, closing the flap behind him.

She steamed in forced fury, trying to take comfort in the fact that, pretty soon, she wouldn't have to put up with the infuriating soldier at all. She failed.

After a moment, when Bucky still hadn't moved from his hunched-over position at the front of the tent, the girl snapped at him. "What are you waiting for, Bucky? Come to bed!"

They both paused, processing the girl's words. "Come to bed." It was the first time she willingly called for him. She looked down, embarrassment creeping up her neck, unable to see the smile on Bucky's face.

Carefully, Bucky settled in behind her, embracing her with both arms, fitting her against him. When she began to squirm, he only had to issue a single warning before she relaxed. He sighed gratefully, not wanting a repeat of the past week where she slept oblivious while he tried to tamp down his arousal.

"This is nice," Bucky thought the girl muttered, though he couldn't be sure because she was already asleep.

"Yeah, this is really nice," Bucky whispered against her temple as blissful sleep overtook him.

From a distance, the Italian alps were quite breathtaking. She imagined a cabin in the forest, high on the Dolomite mountains; this would be her view. Maybe she would move here one day—once the war was over—and ask Steve to join her. Steve didn't have anyone stopping him from leaving other than Bucky. Maybe Bucky could join too? She shook that thought away.

The Dolomites were far behind them now, and as they passed town after town, destroyed and abandoned, an unsettling feeling grew vigorous in her gut. They were close to the Austrian border, hugging the small villages and settlements as they got closer to their destination: Azzano.

They made camp as the sun set, supplying the perfect backdrop to a most tiresome journey. The girl slung her pack to the ground and stretched her muscles while waiting for Bucky to finish ordering the men around.

He offered her water when he finished, which she took gratefully. "Lieutenant General Allan Montgomery should be here within the week. We'll travel the rest of the way to Azzano together." Then Bucky's eyes downturned. "We're only a few miles away from the front line. Do you remember your training?" he asked, looking for hesitation.

Of course, by training, he was referring to the hour-long lesson she was given on battlefield defence, not that any of it stuck. She tried schooling her features, failing miserably. "Yes, I do." Her voice was strong and confident, though she felt anything but. "If we spot the enemy, I'm supposed to set up a station at a safe spot and wait for the injured there. They will be sent back if they are fit to fight. If not..." she trailed off, unable to stomach the fact. "But I won't let that happen," she promised.

Bucky looked at her pityingly, as if he knew something she did not. "Let's hope so. The rest of the 107th should be here in a couple of days with General McGinnis. They were right behind us, so—"

Bucky paused, looking behind the girl at the soldiers setting up camp, before shaking his head and continuing. "Are you tired? The sun's beginning to set."

The girl wrapped her arms around her shoulders and shook her head.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asked, immediately picking up on the girl's discomfort.

"Bucky..." she began hesitantly. "How long will you make me sleep with you?"

Bucky frowned. "Do you feel uncomfortable? I know I came across as an asshole, but I didn't want you to freeze to death. Sorry, we can stop."

Unable to respond immediately, the girl looked at him with barely concealed bewilderment. Apologizing; is another thing Bucky Barnes did not do. "No, I don't want to stop. It's just..." she trailed off, looking for the right word. "inappropriate, especially with the General joining us soon."

"No, it's not," he said matter of factly. "We're friends."

"Friends don't sleep together," the girl responded, unsure of what she wanted to hear him say.

Bucky waited until she looked him in the eyes. "We're the exception. Hey, they've got bigger matters to worry about than us sharing body heat. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Well, good."

An awkward silence fell between the pair, and the girl cleared her throat before the feeling could consume her. "The men look ready to fight," she observed, watching her surroundings.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, uh... I mentioned we're near the front lines, right? So we need to set up a perimeter and plan the best line of attack. Make sure we have a solid line of defence in case something happens. Hey, don't worry. We've got this." Bucky gave her shoulder a tiny shove.

"Oh," she huffed, "I am not worried."

"Yeah?" a smile lit his eyes. "Your face is telling me a different story."

She pursed her lips in frustration. "I'm not worried about you, Bucky," she snapped, "I'm worried about Steve. He needs his friend to come back home—in one piece—and now, I know you normally have no regard for your safety, but you have to be careful if you don't want to leave our friend alone in Brooklyn."

Bucky saw red. He pulled at his hair in frustration. It was unbelievable how quickly she was able to rile him up. "Are you kidding me? I'm the one with no regard for safety? In the time I've known you, you've almost died over five times. You can't even cross the street without putting yourself in danger! Hell! I'm still confused about how they let you in this damn war in the first place." He rushed his words, voicing his anger and annoyance. He only registered the last part of the girl's sentence when he took a deep breath.

"Why would Steve be all alone in Brooklyn?" he asked in a more even tone. "You're going to be there, and a few months later, I'll join... he won't be alone. Why would you say that?"

He froze at the look on her face. Guilt—In her eyes, in the way she held herself, oozing from her pores. Bucky could smell it. Bucky could even taste it. "What did you do?"

"I'm so sorry. I wanted to tell you both sooner, but I only just decided and—"

"What. Did. You. Do?" Bucky grit out.

The girl took a deep breath. "I'm leaving. Moving to Canada. I already asked for a transfer—"

"Canada? Fucking Canada?"

"—Don't swear, please," she pleaded.

"This is some sick joke, right? Tell me you're joking." Bucky grabbed her forearms, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bucky, but I already applied for the transfer. I'm supposed to be moved to a different regiment when we get back to base."

There were many things the girl expected Bucky to say. She expected him to be happy that he was finally rid of her. Relieved she would be gone. She did not expect him to be hurt.

"Were you ever gonna say goodbye?"

"Bucky, I—"

"To Steve, to me. Were you ever going to tell me if I hadn't asked?"

No, she would not have. "Please, Bucky," she pleaded. "I don't want to leave you angry. For the sake of our past, let it go. We won't see each other again for a long time. Not until the war is over."

Bucky scoffed. "Phillips would never let that happen; he wouldn't let you leave. You're his favourite nurse."

She furrowed her brows in response. "I'm not Colonel Phillips' favourite nurse. He has no favourites."

"You're everyone's favourite nurse," he replied as if stating a fact.

"Liar!" she wanted to scream at him. She knew she was not his favourite.

"Not yours," she whispered, staring at him for a moment. "Lila Bellamy told me about the date you took her on. She said you turned a war zone into the most romantic place she'd ever seen. You brought her flowers, danced with her, and kissed her on the cheek once the night was over." She felt wetness gathering in her eyes. "You were the perfect gentleman."

When the first tear dropped, she didn't bother wiping it away. "When you return to base camp, please give Lila my regard. She was quite worried for me. Will you let her know I'm safe? She would be glad to hear from you, and I won't get to talk to her before I leave."

Bucky's grip on her shoulder tightened almost painfully, making her flinch. Through the hurt coursing in her body, she managed a feeble smile. "Try not to break her heart? You two look good together."

"No!" Bucky had had enough; he could hold his words in no longer. "There's nothing between Lila and me."

The girl shook her head. "You don't have to lie."

"Stop it!" Bucky exploded, shaking her. "Stop pushing me away. I don't want Lila; I never wanted her. I've only ever wanted you!"

"Bucky," the girl gasped.

"There's no way I'm letting you leave me, doll," he started, and there was that word she hated. "I'll take you over my shoulder if I have to, but you're not going to fucking Canada; because I love—"

Bucky never got to finish his sentence, never got to tell the girl how he felt because one of his worst nightmares was suddenly realized.

A bullet whizzed past them both—so close that the girl could smell the gunpowder in the wind, could feel its displacement through air against her cheek before it found a home in the soldier behind her. She screamed as she fell, Bucky's heavy weight shielding her body, keeping her down. Her world turned upside down, and she found herself on the cold ground with Bucky's grip on her arms tightened painfully.

To her right, the unfortunate soldier lay dead, with an 8-millimeter-sized hole in his head oozing a steady stream of thick blood. A wound meant for her.

The girl touched a hand to her cheek, which had suddenly warmed. It came back painted as red as the poppy fields back in Provence, France.

She began to tremble as shock overtook her.

Bucky swore under his breath, eyes wide as he took in their surroundings. Beneath him, the girl's eyes darkened in fear. She smeared the splatter of blood on her cheeks and stared at her fingers in horror.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God." She kept muttering under her breath, eyes wide and lips quivering. "N-No. No. No. No."

All around Bucky, the soldiers ran, grabbing artillery and readying defences. "What the hell happened!?" he screamed. "We had a perimeter set up!" Underneath him, she shivered—out of shock or fear, he determined, rather than the cold.

"Those Nazi bastards were waiting to ambush us!" a voice shouted from amidst the chaos. "They knew we were coming!"

Another bullet whizzed past Bucky's head, embedding itself in the ground next to the girl's head. He jerked her away and swore. "Fuck!" She still trembled under him, muttering nonsense. He took her face in his hands, urging her to look at him. " Hey, darlin'? Doll, look at me."

Her eyes were glued to her shaky hands. "Oh God, no. No, I can't. I can't. I can't."

For a few seconds, Bucky froze above her—a few seconds too many—before his training kicked in. He needed to get her out of there. Bucky yanked her hands to the side and held her face in a bruising grip, forcing her to look at him.

"We're in a war zone right now." He said her name with fierce assurance. "The enemy isn't going to stop until we're all dead. I need you to remember the promise you made me this morning. You promised you wouldn't let anyone die—Hey!"

The girl tried peeking at the dead soldier beside her, but Bucky blocked her view.

"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me," he said. The girl whimpered, her eyes misting. "Look at me. That's not your fault."

She shook her head.

"—Hey! It's not. Those German bastards killed him, not you."

"That bullet was meant for me," she sobbed between breaths, "it should have hit me." The desperation in her voice cut him like a knife. He felt her fear as if it were his own.

"Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare!" Under normal circumstances, Bucky would be concerned at the girl's lack of reaction to his cursing, but he had already spent too much time coddling her, and the men needed him. "I'm gonna go and avenge that soldier's death, darlin'," Buck shouted over the sound of battle. "I'm going to burn those Germans to the ground. I'm going to do my job, and you have to do yours."

She looked at him then, and Bucky exhaled gratefully at the clarity he saw in her eyes, hidden behind adrenaline and fear. She gave him a little nod and stifled her sobs. "I feel a little sick."

"Me too," said Bucky, hauling them both to their feet.

The second they were upright, Bucky yanked her behind a tree for cover against the onslaught of bullets raining down on them. "You have to run." He grabbed his rifle from behind his back and checked the ammunition.

"Bucky—"

"When I tell you to, I want you to run toward those trees over there," he pointed to a slight decline, where the trees were thicker and provided more cover, "and I want you to keep on running."

"Wait! No!"

"No matter what happens!" He would not look her in the eyes—Could not look her in the eyes. "You run until you reach the last marker—" Bucky took off his helmet and placed it on the girl's head, fastening it over her hat. "—about a mile and a half out—"

"Bucky, listen to me!"

But he would not listen to her. The girl kept calling him, but he ignored her. He knew his eyes would betray his fear if he did. And he knew that the terrified look that had most likely taken up residence on her face, would force him to lose the last of his sanity and carry her back to base. This war zone was the last place he wanted her.

"You stay there until someone comes for you, and you don't—"

"James!"

And there it was, that damned name. So absolutely dangerous when uttered by her lips. Time slowed for both of them as if the war had pressed pause. Sound faded, colours brightened, and for a few minuscule seconds Bucky and her existed in their own little world, where the blood on her hands was paint, and the look in his eyes was love and not fear.

Bucky looked down, expecting to see the girl hysterical and weeping. Instead, he saw something completely different. Her eyes were clear, the most they had been in weeks, terribly similar to the look she would get in camp when the life of a soldier was in her hands.

And when she spoke, there was determination in her voice. A promise. "You better come back in one piece for Steve." And he knew she meant, "be careful."

He blinked at her, once, then twice, ensuring there were no other hidden messages behind her words. "You better run fast." And she knew he meant, "I will."

The world around them came back into focus, and with a final tightening of her helmet, Bucky pushed her away, sending her running toward safety.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

How much time had passed? She couldn't be sure. Her boot-clad feet were numb from being buried in the snow, and her back was sore from chafing against the rough bark of a pine tree.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

How much time had passed? The sun had long since disappeared under the horizon. In its stead was the moon, still as big and beautiful as the night before. Was it privy to all the horrors the girl wasn't? Did it frown over the violence and brutality it witnessed, or did the inhumanity of the act make it shine brighter?

Thump. Thump. Thump.

How much time had passed? Above her, a bird chirped loudly, disturbed by the gunfire that seemed to grow closer as the moon rose higher in the sky. An hour? Two? It certainly felt like more.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The girl placed a hand over her rapidly beating heart, patting her chest as a means to settle it. "It's okay," she whispered, afraid to voice her thoughts any louder. "It's okay."

She twisted her body around the thick trunk, peeking at the darkness beyond her hiding spot. Another jarring explosion, fake sounding and unreal, before the world quieted. Eerily so.

The bird above her stopped its music. The leaves stopped their little dance. The girl twisted fully, staring intently at the spot she had come running from before finding a temporary home against her tree. All felt normal—well, as normal as could be.

What was it that prompted her forward and on her feet? Bucky's instructions rang clear in her head. "You stay there until someone comes for you." No one was there for her, yet her feet began to move of their own volition. Perhaps at the persuasion of a greater force. Fear; she could taste it on her tongue.

Fear that made her keep going despite the ache in her limbs. Fear that numbed her skin against the sharp tendrils of wind cutting her face. Fear of the quiet. Of being alone. Of being without him.

"Bucky," her whisper echoed against the draught. "James," her heart bled through the frozen ground.

The stench hit her first. Her nose picked up on what her eyes could not. Rotting flesh, putrid and burnt. Sweat and vomit mixed in with the minerally dirt. Her tongue flared up next as copper permeated the rest of her senses, overwhelmingly strong. And the fear; she caught herself against a tree as it engulfed her, making her lose the contents of her stomach.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The girl was at the edge of the clearing, with the gruesome scene of battle right in front of her. Her eyes moved fleetingly across everything, afraid of what she might find. What was once the site of a lively campsite was now demolished in a mess of guts and spoils.

The earth had turned over to create trenches and hiding spots. Dead bodies and dismembered limbs were scattered across the ground, decorating it with a gruesome excuse for peace.

It was quiet. Too quiet. The calm before the storm.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

She spotted movement from the corner of her eye, followed by a low groan of pain.

James. Her heart lurched.

A head of blonde curls bobbed from behind a mountain of dirt. The girl reached behind her for her pack, realizing it lay abandoned on the battlefield. She spotted it twenty-something meters away to her right.

Her eyes squeezed shut. The girl wasn't sure if it was safe to venture out, but it was so quiet, and still, she reasoned the worst of it had passed. She made up her mind; first, the pack, then the wounded soldier.

With her arms pumping rhythmically, she ran. Five, ten, fifteen meters out. The girl skid to a stop, bending to grab the pack. Instead, cold metal kissed her temple, and she stopped breathing.

Her terror-stricken eyes met dilated blue ones. Her pack perched on the edge of what resembled a small trench, hidden from the rest of the clearing. Several soldiers sat hunched over, brandishing various weapons. Bucky Barnes lowered his rifle as gut-wrenching fear overtook his face. He shook his head vigorously, reaching up to grab her, but she stumbled back on her arms, clutching the pack to her chest.

The girl swallowed the sob threatening to spill over. Bucky was alive and safe, though a bit roughed up. She looked to her left at the blonde soldier immobilized by his injury, and Bucky followed her gaze. She noticed the moment it clicked for him, and she made her decision on the spot. She only hoped her eyes accurately portrayed her feelings.

Bucky's mouth opened in a silent scream of her name, and he leapt from his spot, tossing his weapon to the side. Andrew Eaton grabbed Bucky by the shoulders and yanked him back to safety. The girl took that opportunity to scramble to her feet. Behind her, Bucky's muffled shout echoed in her ears.

"He's okay," she reassured herself. "Bucky's okay."

The wounded soldier was lying on his front, eyes closed and motionless. She fell to her knees, placing two fingers against his windpipe. There, faint and irregular, an indistinct pulse was striving to intensify.

The soldier was alive. Good, she thought, I can work with that. His dog tags peeked from under his coat: Matthew Miles Davidson. Frantic hands ran over his body, feeling for a wound. Her hand came away wet, and she discovered his pants soaked with blood. Bracing herself on her knees, the girl rolled Matthew over with a groan.

"Sorry," she whispered when he moaned in anguish. "I'm sorry." Producing a pocket knife, she cut the fabric away from his right thigh, displaying his injury. Puckered skin oozed a steady flow of red, painting her hands. She laced her fingers together and pressed against the opening, using her entire weight to stop the blood.

The girl's thoughts were in overdrive, swiftly taking in and storing information. No exit wound, meaning the bullet was still inside. Matthew was faintly moving, his chest rising and falling with every breath. The girl decided she would remove the bullet, bandaging the wound before dragging him past the trees for cover.

However, over the adrenaline rushing through her ears, she did not realize another fight had broken out. Someone shouted from a distance, and the girl pulled away, unbuckling Matthew's belt and folding it in half. She needed to clean his wound, and since the morphine was in a different pack, with the rest of the medicine, Matthew was going to feel everything.

He was slightly more lucid now, staring at her, so she grabbed his face and urged him to listen. "Bite down on this, Matthew." And he obediently followed her direction.

"Good, you're doing very good." She ran a hand over his hair, cooing with a sad smile. "Don't make any noise, okay?"

The girl retrieved a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a large roll of bandages. She had tweezers in her pack for removing the shell, needle and thread for the other gashes. Those she kept in the kit and moved out of the way. Uncapping the rubbing alcohol, she liberally poured some over her hands to sanitize them before positioning the bottle over the laceration.

"This is going to hurt," she warned Matthew before tipping the bottle over.

The second the ethanol breached his wound, Matthew let out an ear-splitting scream, despite the sound being muffled by his belt. He writhed on the ground, body spasming in pain.

His groans of agony cloaked the racket of the fight around her, making it so she couldn't hear the tank powering up.

"You're okay, Matthew!" she cried.

From her right, someone screamed, and a solid form collided with her, tackling her to the ground. The night sky turned a light blue, flashing white for a brief moment, and the girl raised her head. In her spot, where she sat just a second ago, tending to Matthew's wounds, was air. No supplies, no pack, and no Matthew. The only evidence that something, or someone, had been there was the roll of bandages in her hand and the blackened earth outlining the shape of a body.

Looking to her saviour, she didn't know if she should be grateful or ungrateful that her life was spared.

"You're okay!" Bucky cried, roaming his hands over her body, feeling if she was alive and well. "Fuck! I told you to fucking stay there!" He craned his neck to witness his men steadily losing ground, unmatched by the enemy and their technology.

When Bucky turned toward the girl, the fear in his eyes left her paralyzed. Panic-stricken hands ripped at her clothes, and at first, she was too shocked to react, but as the feeling returned to her limbs, she protested against him.

Bucky smeared a handful of dirt over her face, covering her eyes and lips. She clawed at his chest, trying to stop him, but he forced her back. They were still on the ground, him on top of her, leaving her immobilized.

Then he grabbed the bandages and lifted her undershirt to wrap her chest. "Stop," she whimpered. "Bucky, stop."

He didn't listen.

"James," she pleaded.

And there was that damned name again. Bucky stopped, looking into her eyes to see his terrified form reflected back. "We're losing," he rasped.

No further explanation was needed when Bucky looked at her like that. The girl heard all he wanted to say, saw all he wanted to do, and felt all he begged to show. She relaxed her body, giving him all her trust, and let him do what he did best.

That night the moon witnessed the girl surrendering to Bucky Barnes. That night, he saved her.

The air reeked of secretion. The girl didn't know why she found that detail so surprising. What else was a prison supposed to smell like if not human feces, fear and hopelessness?

She didn't remember the ride over. Shortly after surrendering, they were herded, like cattle, into armoured trucks. Masked men pulled her away from Bucky and tied her hands behind her back, shoving her into a separate truck.

The drive wasn't long, and in a few hours, they were stopping. When a guard pushed her and nine others into a dark cell, she fell to her knees and cried. Fortunately, Andrew Eaton was in the same cell as her, and he pulled the girl to him, muffling her sobs against his chest. Her high-pitched wailing was sure to catch someone's attention.

War was not kind to men, even less to young women. If they caught her, what would they do? She remembered the fear in Bucky's eyes as he frantically concealed the weight of her breasts, flattening them to resemble a man's. She decided she didn't want to find out.

The girl fell asleep in Andrew's arms wishing she was in Bucky's embrace instead. But Andrew was cold, and no matter how hard she tried, her imagination could not do Bucky justice.

In the morning, guards came for them. A burly-looking German soldier explained to her group in broken English that they were going to be put to work. Weapons manufacturing. "How does it feel?" he asked, "that we'll be killing your brothers with the weapons you make for us." They laughed amongst themselves, then pointed their guns at her and the prisoners, putting them to work.

Nights passed miserably. Andrew assured the girl Bucky was somewhere in the facility, in one of the cells scattered across the vast space, though that did little to calm her. She cried herself to sleep, body aching from the laborious work forced upon them.

By morning, the news spread. Men were being taken away.

A foul-faced officer was picking soldiers at random, plucking them away. "Hitler's right-hand man," someone sneered. "The devil incarnate," another cowered.

Andrew kept the girl tucked away against him, shielding her from wandering eyes. The dirt on her face had washed away, her hair loosened from her braid, bindings slack. She finally looked like a woman.

She saw the proof of it etched on Andrew's face when the guards came near. It was yet another night, and she was resting her head against the thick bars of the metal prison when she heard them. Andrew tried to hide her, but space was limited, and the devil's keen eye landed on her before she could move.

"What have we here?" A man with a drooping face and quizzical brow bent down to look at the girl. He grabbed her jaw in a rough grip through the bars when she attempted to crawl away. "Ah!" he exclaimed fervently, digging his nails into her skin until she whimpered. "A girl?"

His free hand went to her neck, dropping lower and lower until she protested, pushing him away. "No!"

The man raised a brow. "How did you manage to slip through, Mäuschen?" He gestured to the guards behind him, who marched forward to open the bars. "Let's find out, shall we?"

"Don't touch her, bastards!" Andrew shouted, pulling her back.

The girl wanted to stop him, but she became paralyzed with fear. The men had guns and long sticks—Andrew had nothing but his wits about him and a pair of worn fists.

The next few events happened in quick succession. A muscle in the devil's face twitched, his smile momentarily dropping, which he swiftly schooled. "Das Mäuschen has a protector? What a waste." He shrugged carelessly. "No matter. Always more where he came from."

A bang resounded, and Andrew fell backwards, eyes wide and unmoving. Someone screamed, loud and shrill. It wasn't until a guard whisked the girl away that she realized it was her screaming.

The prisoners shouted in protest as she passed by them. From amongst the hoard of fury, a pair of blue eyes met hers, two hands grasped cool metal, and two lips parted to call out her name. The girl craned her neck to look, but heavyset doors closed behind her before the voice could reach her ears.

She closed her eyes to block out her surroundings, and when she finally reopened them, it was the next day.

His name was Arnim Zola—Dr. Arnim Zola—and he was a scientist working for HYDRA. That's where they were held captive, the Doctor divulged, at one of the many facilities HYDRA owned across the continent.

The Doctor passionately described the importance of the work done at HYDRA while the girl was bound to an exam table. "How lucky that you will not only be alive to see HYDRA shine, but you will also take part in it." He checked the girl's pulse, jotting something down on a clipboard. "We lost many of the men. They all fight the effects. It will be interesting to see how a woman fares, don't you think?"

She was too tired to struggle, and when the Doctor injected a burning liquid in her veins, she found she was too tired to scream.

The world turned black.

When she came to, however long later, Dr. Zola was hunched over his desk, shuffling through papers while muttering under his breath. "How is this possible? I gave her a larger dose."

The burning had turned to ice in her veins, and she shook violently against her restraints as she shivered. "Please..."

"I don't understand. Are you sweating it off?" Then he hummed. "I will need more tests." And her world turned black once again.

How much time had passed? Days? Weeks? Months? The girl could not be sure of anything other than that the cold in her veins had found a home in her heart.

"Immune," she heard the Doctor repeat. "Nothing is working."

She was counting the marks on the wall of the tiny room she was locked in when Dr. Zola approached her one day. "Herr Schmidt wants me to dispose of you," he told her. "But I think you can serve us yet."

She turned away from him and closed her eyes, trying to ignore him.

"That prisoner. What was his name? The one who died protecting you?"

Andrew. The girl opened her eyes and looked at Dr. Zola with distrust.

"He made me wonder if the others would do the same."

"They won't," she told him, trying to hide her desperation. "I'm only a nurse."

Dr. Zola snickered mischievously, slowly backing out of the small room. "We will see about that."

That night they brought the first prisoner. Someone she did not recognize. "Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."

He spat on Arnim Zola's face. "Go to hell, you son of a bitch!"

The Doctor wiped away the drool with a wry smile, gesturing to the soldiers holding the girl still. "No!" she managed to shout before they plunged her face into a bucket of ice water.

She held her breath at first, hoping to bide some time before they pulled her out, but as her heart raced and the grip on her arms tightened, she couldn't help it any longer. She began to thrash, shaking and sputtering as the water invaded her lungs.

After what felt like an eternity, she tasted fresh air, heaping lungfuls to ease the burn in her throat.

The prisoner thrashed against his restraints, screaming profanities into the air as Dr. Zola injected him with a blue substance.

"Stop resisting!" the Doctor demanded. "You'll ruin the transformation!" He turned toward the girl. "Do you want her to die?" he asked the prisoner. "They'll kill her."

The prisoner screamed louder.

"Again!" Dr. Zola ordered.

The girl managed to take a deep breath before they plunged her into the water again, not that it helped. The torture went on for the rest of the night. By the last hour, the prisoner had died, lying in a pool of vomit.

The next night they brought the second prisoner. Someone she did recognize. "Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."

"Jeremy? No!" the girl began to cry. "No, not him!"

"Miss?" Jeremy looked at Dr. Zola with indignation. "Let her go."

"Do as I say," Zola repeated, "and I will."

"Go to hell."

And so it began.

Though, It did not last very long. When the girl screamed for the first time, Jeremy Bradshaw gave in. "I'll do it. I'll do anything. Just let the lady go."

Zola smiled victoriously. "Now, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"

A few hours later, Jeremey's heart gave out.

"He was weak," Zola proclaimed. "We need someone stronger."

The next night they brought the third prisoner. Someone she knew.

The girl had prepared herself this time. She wouldn't cry or scream out; she would fight! But none of it mattered when she saw the person standing before her.

War was not kind to men, and this one was proof of it. His hair was longer, touching the tips of his ears, and a light beard covered most of his face, making him almost unrecognizable. Almost. His piercing blue eyes stayed the same.

"James," she whispered. Tears gathered in her eyes, waiting for the moment he saw her.

"Do as I say, and the girl will remain unharmed."

Bucky screamed the moment he did, mouth open in rage. The girl wondered what he saw when he looked at her. Was she as haggard in appearance as him? She sure felt it.

Bucky threw the soldiers off him, shouting her name as he ran toward her. He came to a halt when someone put a gun to her head, and the soldiers took the opportunity to restrain him once again.

"Yes, you are strong, indeed. Now, will you do as I say?" Zola asked.

"Eat shit, cocksucker."

Bucky was being so strong. So could she.

When the soldiers grabbed the girl, she was ready. She kicked one of them between the legs, and when he loosened his hold, she bit the hand on her shoulder. She must have made it two steps before they restrained her again.

She heard the buzz before she could feel it, and an unbridled scream left her. Electricity travelled up her spine, burning a pathway through her nerves. Her muscles went lax, and she fell, convulsing on the cold floor.

"No," she whimpered as they administered another shock through a small black device. But they were unrelenting, kicking her half-conscious form while she was down.

Bucky roared in rage while they abused her, but he could do nothing but watch as they gave her another electric shock.

"I'll kill you sons of bitches! I'll fucking kill you!"

Zola injected Bucky with the blue liquid. "Relax your muscles! Let the transformation take over."

"Fuck. You!" Bucky seethed.

The girl crawled toward him from her position on the ground, dragging herself by her nails. The soldiers followed leisurely, laughing at her pathetic attempt. The next shock made her throw up. Bile and stomach acid; since she hadn't been able to keep anything else down.

"She'll die, Soldier," Zola warned Bucky. "There's only so much a person can take."

Bucky stopped thrashing, briefly looking at the girl before addressing the Doctor. "What will you do to her?" he asked, unconcerned for himself.

"Bucky, no."

"Will you hurt her?"

Zola smiled, knowing he had won. "As long as you do as I say, I promise she will remain unharmed."

The girl began to cry. "Don't give up, Bucky. I can take it."

"—No, she can't," Zola interrupted.

"James!"

Their eyes met, and the girl knew Bucky had made up his mind. "I'll do anything." He slumped against his restraints, giving over his control. Before the Soldiers dragged her away, Bucky mouthed three words that shattered her completely. "I love you."

The doors closed before she could mouth it back.

Bucky Barnes was in shock. He had to be. That was the only reason he was on his feet after a week of hell, feeling only slightly bruised and fatigued. Yes, it was the shock that kept him moving, and not whatever it was the Doctor injected in him.

"Did it hurt?" Bucky asked, only slightly stumbling.

"A little," replied Steve Rogers. The same Steve Rogers Bucky remembered being at least two heads shorter.

"Is this permanent?" Bucky took in the striped shield, the muscles hidden by leather.

"So far."

Bucky chuckled, pressing his chest to feel his heart beating wildly within.

"The exit's through here," Steve gestured.

Bucky pulled him back. "Wait. I have to find someone first."

"Who?"

Bucky stared at his friend for a moment, hesitating. Steve didn't know the girl was with him. She never told anyone where she was deployed. Bucky whispered her name before clearing his throat and saying it louder.

He saw the surprise on Steve's face slowly morph into determination. "What are we waiting for, then? Let's get her."

They found her quickly. She was in an unmarked room on the second floor, hiding underneath a small blanket. Steve stayed behind, and Bucky entered the dark space with careful steps.

He heard the girl whimper in protest and scurry closer to the wall. "Not again. Please!"

Bucky bent down, and what he saw made him pause. He almost didn't recognize the girl with her sunken face and pale skin. She had lost weight, and her clothes were hanging off of her, but her eyes were what broke him. Wide and distrustful. Lifeless.

Bucky wiped his tears away, determined to stay strong. "Come here. I've got you."

The girl crawled farther away as if trying to embed herself in the wall. Bucky grabbed her face with both hands. "Look at me. Hey! Look at me, doll. It's Bucky."

She finally met his eyes, and Bucky saw the moment she recognized him. "James?" she sobbed, clutching his shirt in a weak grip. "You're here!"

Bucky lifted the girl in his arms, keeping her close to his chest. The first thing he noticed was how cold she was; the second was that she weighed almost nothing. When Bucky stumbled out, unsteady on his feet, Steve grabbed her from him, exchanging the shield for her. "Reserve your energy. We've got a long way to go."

"Steven? Am I dreaming?"

Steve laughed sadly. "No."

"You're big now," she sighed. "What happened?"

Steve shrugged. "I joined the army."

"I always knew you would."

They all laughed, happy for a moment that they were reunited. But danger was near, Bucky could feel it, and his smile dropped. Around them, parts of the building exploded, making the ground shake.

"Quick! Through here!" Steve shouted, taking two steps at a time, and Bucky tried his best to keep up. They were so close. He could feel it.

"Captain America!" A voice shouted, stopping them. "How exciting!"

Steve lowered the girl to her feet, grabbing his shield from Bucky and taking a fighting stance.

When Bucky realized who the strange voice belonged to, he pulled the girl behind him, shielding her from view. It was him, the man who dragged her away all those days ago. Bucky couldn't tell then, but it was apparent now that he was a high-ranking officer. Perhaps the mastermind behind this whole operation. Zola stood next to him, cowering behind a large briefcase.

"I am a great fan of your films!" mocked Johann Schmidt. "So, Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive."

Steve and Schmidt were at arm's length, and the Captain did not hesitate to swing at Schmidt. The man stumbled back, clutching his face in surprise.

"You've got no idea," Steve huffed.

"Haven't I?" And Schmidt took a swing of his own, putting a fist-sized dent in Captain America's shield.

"Steve!" The girl screamed from behind Bucky.

The two began to fight, and Bucky had to keep her from running toward their friend. "He's got it," he told her; and he did.

Steve kicked Schmidt, sending him back a few feet, and Zola stepped forward. He pressed a button that collapsed the bridge Steve was on.

"No matter what lies Erskine told you," Schmidt exclaimed. "You see, I was his greatest success!" He peeled the skin off his face, revealing red flesh underneath.

"You don't have one of those, do you?" Bucky found himself asking, a bit dizzy from the incident. He held the girl tighter against him when she started shaking like a leaf.

Schmidt made a closing remark that went over Bucky's head, and he and Zola left. An explosion caused the trio to stumble, forcing Steve into action. "Come on, let's go. Up."

Bucky pulled the girl along, and they went up a floor, stopping in front of a metal beam.

"Let's go. One at a time," Steve urged, helping Bucky over the railing.

"What are you doing?" the girl shouted over the loud explosions.

"There's no other way!" Bucky told her. "Stay behind me."

Steve helped her over the railing next, and Bucky grabbed her.

"I can't!" she shook. "I'll fall."

Bucky pulled her close. "Don't look down. Why are you looking down? Look at me."

"No!"

"Yes! One step at a time, alright? Steve's right behind you." The beam quaked with every step, but Bucky did not slow down. He tossed the girl over the railing and leaped the rest of the way; right before the beam fell from underneath him.

Bucky's stomach dropped. There was no way for Steve to cross. "There's gotta be a rope or something!"

"Just go!" Steve cried. "Get out of here!"

"No! Not without you!"

Steve hesitated before backing up as far as he could and making a run for it. Bucky's stomach dropped, thinking Steve wouldn't make it, but then he emerged from the smoke and landed safely on his feet. The trio ran.

The half-moon was low in the sky when they made camp after two day's journey. It was late, and the prisoners were tired. Bucky made his rounds, checking the perimeter and the tents for anything suspicious.

The Battle of Azzanno was still fresh in his mind, and despite Steve's reassurances, Bucky could not let down his guard.

"How is she?" Steve asked Bucky.

Bucky didn't know the answer. "She won't talk to me," he said frustratedly. "She says she's fine, but I can see she isn't."

Steve sighed, having expected that answer. "And how are you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah. You both went through something traumatic." Steve grabbed Bucky's shoulder. "Talk it out, why don't you?" and left with a reassuring smile.

Bucky found the girl in one of the smaller tents, huddled in the corner for warmth.

"I was waiting for you," she admitted.

Bucky let a small smile grace his lips. They had come a long way. "Not too long, I hope."

"Very long," she rebutted. "I'm all cold."

Something in the girl's expression hinted at something deeper, something permanent. A rawness that she couldn't hide. It made Bucky's eyes burn. "Let me warm you up then." He fell to his knees and embraced her, holding her trembling body as tightly as he could.

The girl craned her neck and looked at Bucky with teary eyes. "Are you okay?"

Bucky took a second because he didn't know. Was he okay? He adjusted his hold until the girl was in his lap, snug against his front. "No, I'm not," he decided. "But as long as you're here, I will be."

Her hair was open, so Bucky put his forehead against the soft strands and closed his eyes. "Are you okay?"

The girl took a shuddering breath. "I—I was scared, and I—" She sobbed once, then twice. "No, I'm not okay!" And she began to weep. Agonizing sobs shook her entire body.

Bucky held on tight, whispering reassurances until, however long later, she eventually settled. "But I will be," she hiccuped.

The two sat silently for a while before she shifted to face him. Bucky wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her steady and caressed her face. "I love you," he whispered, leaning in until their noses brushed.

Her eyes pierced his, conveying all she felt, and she softened in his arms. "James."

And there was that damned name again. Bucky pulled her toward him, closing the small distance between their lips.

Oh, she was soft, putty under his skilled mouth. He groaned, pressing closer until the only thing separating them were clothes. "Sweetheart." He tasted her lips with his tongue, asking for permission which she swiftly granted.

"James," she whimpered against him, clawing at his jacket for purchase. They kissed until she became breathless, reluctantly pulling away with a moan to fill her lungs.

Bucky felt his heart beating out of his chest. "I'm here," he vowed, "I'm right here. Never leaving you again."

Her pleasure-stricken face met his with an intensity that left him more breathless than her lips had. "James, I love you."

And Bucky knew in his soul that all would be well. He took her lips once again, sealing his promise with a kiss.

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@marvelatthetwilight @hallecarey1 @ria132love

[distortedataraxia]

"Life isn't just about fun."

Y/n x sk8 the infinity (platonic)

wordcount : 14,587

Type : one-shot

Warnings : mention of hospital accident, school related bad memories (?) swearing/cursing, negative thoughts, and i think that's about it!

Author note : Hi! It's been really long since i posted, i wanted to challenge myself to write something way longer than usual, and i've been pretty down in the dumps so it's hard staying active. I'll get to your requests soon, i'm sorry it always take so many months for me to catch up to them! I hope you'll appreciate it nontheless, it's the first time i write a one-shot so long, don't hesitate to send in a few advices if you want! I hope this isn't too much out of character and that y/n can be relatable. It's not easy writing a relatable y/n. I tried to have a moment for each characters but kinda failed, i hope that's okay and that i can write each of them better overtime! Well, now that's out of the way, i hope you enjoy! ★take care ★

The summer holidays have been good, despites the overwhelming heat making you sweat to your heart content.

You could handle the heat with your friends around you while making sure to stay dehydrated, really, whenever you went to see your friend weither it was to eat at a restaurant, harass shadow, skate around random places, try new tricks, race at S, discuss about skateboards and make skateboards : you could rarely every worry about the heat. It's like the heat never existed in the first place, but of course, as soon as you get home you will inevitably notice a shower is reallly necessary if you don't want to turn into a glue stick human form of thing just by sweating.

Time really does fly by when i'm around my friends.. you think to yourself, the summer holidays are coming to an end very soon..

And every nights i feel it.

This is going to be a long night for you, a very long night.

There is no better feeling than staring at a wall with closed eyes. If that makes senses.

In fact, you couldn't really sleep, you kept waking up every 2 hours, scared of missing your alarms, afterall you'd be bummed out if you were to miss your first day of school. It's not that you enjoy going to school at all, it's just that if you'd miss the first day of school you'd probably get into troubles with your parents, and you'd feel double lost at school, which isn't so cool to be honest.

So you kept trying to sleep, rolling around in your bed to try to find a comfortable position, and… stay here until you stop crying. Because yes, tears were leaving your eyes right at that moment, your eyes were burning and your head was hurting and it was hard to sleep. Breathing was a bit troublesome, it might seem dramatic, but you still felt all of these wandering emotions anyway.

You had some fears concerning school, or a lot of fears. You remembered all the bad years you spent, having to complete your homework in time and stay good enough to your teachers and parents no matter what, forcing yourself to try to even listen to the teachers' lesson and remember it, having to suck up all the weird looks from your classmates whenever you answered something dumb or did something weird from their point of view, while you had to look unaffected whenever the teacher or your classmates said something dumb… School wasn't a place where you could be yourself, it wasn't a place where you could express your opinion, it's not a place in which you're ever good enough, not a place where you feel able to develop any sort of potential if you had any, and it's not a place in which you had fun at, if anything, all the bad years at school were just taking colors away from life, a lot of colors. The endless homework to finish at night wasn't so pleasant aswell, you could remember the allnighter or allnighters to catch up on your homework or lessons. Hours of class felt more like a black hole sucking up all of your energy, what was the use of having energy and going through the day if you're going to do this your whole life? Was something you thought more than once or twice.

What if it happens all over again?

You really hopped to stay in the same class as Reki and Langa this year, but it wasn't for sure, you guys could be picked to be in different classes for all you know, why do you have to even change classes every years? It's a breeze when your class sucks but not when your class is actually somehow not that bad. And what about all the new people?

When you weren't in their class, you could recall zoning out more, dissociating more. Strangely enough, they usually seperate people from their friends so that they focus on the class, but you're more prone to focus if your friends are here, let alone, if they ask for your help with any homework, you feel a kind of responsability and a will to help, so your grades uncounsciously got better so that you could help out Reki who's being late on classes because he's staying up late to skate at S and barely listening at class, so you could also help out Langa who's having struggles taking notes and understanding everything, because even if he spoke japanese, he still had a hard time to adapt. But even if your grades were to be lower or not different, it felt way better when you were willing to work for it not just to not get in troubles, but also to help your friends. Maybe it wasn't entirely for you in that case, but it already felt better.

But whenever you mess up and feel unable to help, it feels bad. You actually had a bad dream once in which messing up continuously during group projects with your friends led them to burst into tears because it was really too much.

There's just, a lot of things to worry about. You have to study about your future, you can't just skate all day long and have fun with your friends, and they'll be fine without you, life isn't like that, it's not just about fun…

Ah…

You stared blankly at your arm.

You absolutely dreaded this day. School for you was like a survival game, you'd play, try not to fail and lose just like you'd go to school everyday and try to keep everything up to just not fall apart.

Well, to be honest, last school year was a bit more manageable with Reki and Langa around, surprisingly enough, they made your days at school usually less boring, and if the all three of you guys were unhappy or not doing good, you could complain together ; About the teacher's teaching methods, the way this or that spoke to you, the way you got caught watching skating videos instead of reading-

You could really cool down a bit with them around, things were way less stressful than they could have been. And somehow you felt more productive with less pressure felt.

So, in the end, maybe it wasn't that bad, you could get to spend more time with Reki and Langa, and you wouldn't have to die to the summer heat.

Or maybe not, maybe you won't end up in the same class, maybe you won't feel brave enough to sneak your phone between your pages to pretend to read anymore, maybe you won't be in a good class, maybe you'll get picked on by your classmates and maybe-

afterall, it is true that you could spend much more time with Reki, Langa AND your other friends outside of school, if they weren't on vacations without you that is. School can be a real seperation factor for friends, and it sucks, it can be very isolating.

But school is important, nontheless.

I think.

Are the all-nighters productive? Are they healthy? The stress, the social fears, just… everything overall that comes from school, except the time you spend with Reki and Langa and the rare lessons where you learn something that is actually helpful for you.

Probably not.

You've tried not to think about it, but really, the more time passes, the less you're able to sleep well or spend your days without worrying as to weither or not you're making the best of the summer holidays, without feeling guilty for doing nothing when the heat is killing you or you're tired. Time is so scary, the meaninfgul times fade away so fast, and you lose so much occasions on making the best of your life, time always gets you.

Finally, the morning came, you could hear the birds sing, the sun was shining through the curtains, making you regret ever opening your eyes who were now burning at the burning source of light, you wanted to hide under your pillow and blankets and never see the light again. Why get up when you can just sleep ? Your alarm rang, it gave you a headache, a headache that'll follow you probably all day long, you had to get up now. Goodbye to the everyday without worrying of what's coming next day. What a life.

I mean, everyone has to work or go to school, it's society, it's just life, there's nothing to complain about, be grateful that you have it easier than some people. Or even, most people.

Besides, you still have Reki and Langa right? It'll be okay, right? Even if you don't end up in the same class, you could look up to every ends of the days to skate together and every mornings to skate together, same for the free time.

That is, if your schedules aren't too different and if you even have the energy to skate and hang with your friends, you could remember days in which as soon as you'd get home, you'd fall to your bed, fall asleep and skip dinner, only to have to catch up on your homework in another stressful morning and find something to eat in the fridge your family emptied the night before.

School is back. Holidays were great, but everything came to an end. Nothing ever last forever, does it ?

You yawned and tried to stretch yourself to wake up but your eyes were shutting tight, your every single thoughts begged you to fall back asleep and rebel agaisnt whatever keeped you awake, before you knew it, 5 minutes already passed. If you wouldn't have put multiple alarms to wake you up every minutes, the amount of time in which you were late would have greatly multiplied, by ten maybe, well, if you were never late because of that ; that's because you skated very fast to school or ran. These alarms really pain you but they still save you, a great plenty of time, you probably would have been late right now without them. On the first day of school, your sleep schedule is not even set on time.

Be grateful.

You sit up and get up, feeling every ounce of your body wanting to fall down and just lie in the ground to sleep, you try your hardest to motivate yourself to get dressed, making a mess out of your wardrobe, you'd have to clean that later and put your clothes in order, or deal with it and have your parents scold you for it until next holidays, but really all the thoughts that came to your head were negative, you didn't even bother to think about your friends yet, you just wanted to sleep it off, sleep it off so much you wanted to cry, get away from reality. As you kept getting lost in your thoughts, your arm hits your wardrobe and furnitures.

Ouch. The hit was a bit brutal, you were stressed and you were scared. Your arm felt like it was burning, why did you have to get that arm hit and not the other? How lucky can you get? Is it a lack of luck or is it just your problem for not sleeping enough?

And before you know it, you already have to leave your house in 5 minutes. 5 fricking minutes, and you just got dressed.

Mornings were really fast, especially if you're as tired as you are right now. You could get up and leave your bed and you already have only 10 minutes left to somehow get dressed, eat, brush your teeth, check that everything is ready, make sure to use the toilets, wash your hands, and happily get out of the house with your skateboard to get to school! How you loved going to school every mornings!

Well, last year you could feel positive going to school most days, it's the year when you met Reki and Langa at, one of the most liveliest years of your life. But now that you know them, you rather spend time with them outside of school.

You were tired, completely tired, your heart was beating fast, so fast and hard it was hurting, like some sort of drums inside you, the bat would dum- dum- slap your heart out just to keep you awake. You could barely keep your eyes open, your hair was a mess, all you wanted to do was hide yourself under your blankets until the school year ends. You only want this to be a dream, it's just a bad dream, school never existed… Is hiding and denying all you're ever good at?

But maybe that's a bit harsh, isn't it ?

What a great start of the year, surely the year wouldn't go well if you kept that up.

You didn't have time to eat breakfast, or else you'd be late, so you started walking out of your room and you fought the stairs. Not literally don't worry, we respect stairs here

As you were about to step out of your house to get to school you receive a message on your phone on a groupchat. A groupchat between you, Reki and Langa.

"Y/n, we're waiting for you at our usual spot, where are you?? :("

You smiled, for a second there, you felt like summer holidays were still going on. You felt as if you had nothing to worry about. Your friends were really important to you, they held a special place in your heart. And they made you look forward to everyday, everyday felt more like a pleasant surprise with them around. Maybe just maybe, you don't have to worry about this school year.

Or maybe you do, maybe you do have to worry about this school year.

The messages having reminded you to take your skateboard, you grabbed your skateboard after turning off your phone, almost forgetting to take your skate, almost forgetting about how you got into skateboarding and almost forgetting the entire last year you've spent with Reki and Langa. Too busy overthinking about the past years before that one.

Maybe it was better to expect the worse to not have your hopes crushed, but would that make you happy?

You put your phone in your backpack, left the house, and pushed to get to your skateboard, trying to be careful of where you're riding despites your attention span being lower, trying to keep your foot well positionned and not accidentally press your back foot against the tail of your skateboard which would make you.. fall off if you press hard.

Skating was a bit harder this morning, the thought of school came back to you very soon and it drew out your motivation fast, very fast.

You were really tired so it was hard, but the thoughts of your friends cheered you up a bit, so you skated to your usual meeting spot, thinking about how Reki and Langa must be waiting for you right now. And soon enough, you recognized a shining red-head and a outstanding blue-head, you surely couldn't miss them by accident even if your vision was blurry, not a lot of people around there has had their hair dyed.

You wondered, would reki's head shine more with no hair or does it shine more with red hair?

They finally noticed you skating towards them, they turned to you, it seems like Reki was staring at his phone while Langa's head was peeking over his shoulder to see the screen. You waved at them and they waved back, you smiled instinctively, until you suddenly fell of your skateboard and rolled down the floor, making sure to protect your head while trying to keep your other arm safe. But you still hurt your arm, which is sadful.

"Ouchhh-" you yelped, usually you'd laugh whenever you fall of your skateboard, it was silly, you fell off because you kept your eyes on your friend and not the floor. You liked them just way too much. But you just didn't feel the energy in you to laugh, something just didn't click inside, you couldn't laugh. Maybe you're just grumpy because it's the morning, maybe you're just not in the mood. Whatever it was, you didn't feel the willpower to laugh it off as you usually do.

"Y/n !" Reki screamed running towards you "Don't be reckless, you hurt yourself at your last race ! " he crouched down to your level "here, let me help you" he took your arm and checked your bandages "did you even change them!? He asked frantically, eyes focused on your bandaged arm, as Langa walked towards you and caught your skateboard for you. —I forgot. you answered, in an honest and tired laugh, it was so hard getting even dressed in the morning that you forgot to check your bandages. —This can't be good.. The redhead sighed and looked at Langa Langa, pass me the bag Langa tossed him his bag over, hitting Reki in the face Ouch ! That wasn't cool Langa ! he complained —Sorry, i didn't mean to, are you hurt ? The blue haired boy panicked —No, i'm fine, anyways… Reki's hand searched for something in the bag Ah there it is ! He got his hands out of the bag and took out a disinfectant and some bandages Now let me check that."

Reki always had this sort of thing ready in his bag, as getting hurt is common when you skate.

He inspected your arm and your wrist, your bandages were getting red, he got rid of them to check your injuries "Oh they're healing faster than i thought, even though they should have already been healed, thank god they're still healing though. But you're bleeding." He smiled, almost motherly to you, making sure that you don't panick, the thought of reki as a mother was very funny to you as it crossed your mind, but the cursed images of reki being pregnant following your thoughts were more cursed than funny "I'm gonna have to use disinfectant, Just tell me if it hurts okay?" he uses the disinfectant carefully, you groaned in pain a bit but it was fine. "There we go." he then proceed to put some new bandages over your arm and wrist, and Langa complained " you never took this much care of me whenever i bled. —You never got really that injured, you only ever bled, it's nothing we all bleed from time to time when we skate. Reki tried to explain himself, still focused on your arm. —You let me faint. —Oh shut up, i panicked and ran to you for the record. —Like a prince in a shining armor ? you asked, randomly, Reki stopped bandaging your arm for a second, only a second, and then he continued bandaging your arm. —I wasn't charmed, I was already uncounscious. Langa argued —Are you falling in love with Reki or something Langa? You wanted to be charmed? You tried to tease him, Reki just finished bandaging your arm and jumped over to turn around and put the stuff back in his backpack, seeming a bit agitated and quick to hide his face, he then spoke —Don't say things like that y/n ! We're bros, nothing like that —I was speaking to Langa, not you. —Oh you get what i meant ! "

You didn't continue trying to tease them, this was largely enough and you enjoyed the way Reki was talking to you but turned away from you and Langa was just staring at the both of you completely zoned out, dumbfounded.

They were really fun to be around with. Your morning was already much less depressing, Reki really cared for you and Langa did too. You reallly hopped to be in the same class as them, even if you felt like a thirdwheel, you don't want classes schedules to disrupt your common routines.

For a moment there, it felt like you guys were already in the same class, but would that be too optimistic? Should you actually hope?

"So… Are you guys, perhaps… excited for school ?" you asked, curiously. They looked like they had much more energy than you, it's as if summer holidays never actually ended. Their face looked so bright, they seemed so happy and careless, as if summer never really ended. Reki and Langa looked at you curiously, finally, Reki spoke ;

"Definitely not. —Eh!? How can you have so much energy then!? I don't get you. —Personally, Langa speaks I'm excited whenever i can spend time with you or Reki, and school is important to me, i need to improve my japanese skills and understand how things work around there. Langa explained, honestly. —Right… Well, as long as i'm not a thirdwheel. —Don't even say that word, it makes me think about my final race with Adam. Reki groaned thinking about it, he acted like he was going to puke, Langa chuckled. —Was that race this bad? You were really good. —It was fun but.. I really don't enjoy skating against Adam and you know that Langa, i don't get you, you almost died when racing him down that crazy path last time ! —Oh, that's true. Langa recalled, having actually forgotten this detail —You really looked like you were falling mindlessly, you weren't even moving and then you suddenly moved and took your skateboard and won the race, what even got into you? You really scared me you know? I was worried. You both are crazy, you got injured last time too y/n Reki spoke, with a genuine troubled expression on his face. —Reki, you get injured much more than i do. You spoke, with a stern voice —The word fun saved me. Langa spoke, out of the blue, with full honesty in his voice —What? You mean the word fun we put on your fixed skateboard?"

Reki turned to Langa with a curious face. You looked at the time, you guys were already going to be late at this rate, you coughed "guys, we're going to be late." your tone was a bit harsh, but you really didn't want to be late.

"Oh crap! Langa, y/n, let's go ! " and there you guys went, skating to school, fast.

Your friends looked very energetic, it killed you that you couldn't be as energetic, honestly, it's been a few days or weeks since your energy drastically dropped to the thought of school, and you couldn't tell if your friends noticed, but you were afraid to be a burden to them. They were shining so bad, and you were starting to feel like you were staying in the dark, maybe you always were in the back afterall, but everytime, it seemed Reki, Langa or Miya found a way to cheer you up or make you feel like you belong.

Reki and Langa did a few ollies and some random tricks while you just cruised. It's crazy how they're late and still able to flex, have fun and pull up some tricks. Well, it was like this last year too.

You met Reki and Langa at school, and met your other friends at S, and these friendships really made your life much more brighter. Could it be constantly the case though? What if they were the one brightening up your days - but you weren't the one brightening up their days ? That thought hit you a bit inside, like a small bullet passing through your body, but slowly, and with barely enough pain, you felt a small wave of negative emotions, it hurts a bit, but you felt a bit empty, in a way.

You felt the air pass through your lungs, burning, as the cold air hits your face, and finally, you reached school. Somehow you made it despites the overwhelming feeling that the air is so heavy it'll crush your bones.

School is back. ~

You slid your skateboard behind your backpack and walked to your assigned classroom after the school announcement concerning the begginning of the year, you were not in the same class as Reki and Langa, of course.

That's not all that mattered though. Your grades mattered too.

You're not going to die by working a little and spend less time with your friends, come on. You could still spend time with them nontheless later.

Before you go, you exchanged a small wave in Reki and Langa's direction, they waved back; these two were in the same class it seemed. Maybe they were better without your grumpy-self though. They seemed much more happier than you were, were you just overthinking and dramatising everything?

You reached your classroom and when the teacher told you to, you sit down, taking the sit at the back, avoiding to talk to anyone. Why bother? Approaching people isn't on your to-do list at the moment.

The class was already loud and obnoxious, just like a circus. You paid no attention to the noises and as to avoid getting bothered by the noises, you stared at your desk and zoned out, thinking about all the times you went skating with your friends. It was the only thing you wanted to think about right now.

Despites your efforts to not be bothered by all these voices, you still heard a few people talk

"The manager of the fruit stand always sat and only sold vegetables —What!? You mean the fruit stand down your street ? —Yes, atleast the vegetables are cheap. So me and my mom always go there the saturday mornings. —I wouldn't buy my vegetables there if it was a fruit stand only selling vegetables…"

This random conversation you heard was completely unrelated to school, you sighed, but who were you to care? It seemed like people knew each other, you were probably going to end up alone this year, is it so bad though?

The teacher coughed and asked for everyone to be quiet, and the class continued talking. Why were you even here? This is supposed to be the first class, usually during the first classes people should be quiet, atleast on the first classes of the year. But who were you to talk? You can't lie, you really wished you could talk to Reki and Langa like this right now, but you guys aren't even in the same class.

Between all the talks you could hear, you heard another one, still completely unrelated to school, there was a brown-haired girl talking to a black haired boy, the girl looks cute you thought, the boy spoke : "Why do you LoOOooOOOoOve me Stanley? —I like your blue eyes. She replied as if it was a sufficient reason to like someone —Why did you only tell me now ? He stared at her with his PieRcIng BlUe EyEs —I didn't want any new girls stealing you away from me. Your classmate declared in full confidence —…Wow so possesive grrr~ He said before the two burst out laughing —You're so stupid the girl chuckled, a smile on her face —Stupid for you ? he asked, playfully "

And there you witnessed a newborn couple that was probably going to last a few days or weeks, on the first day of school.

Everyone didn't look like they cared about the first class. You wished you could not care aswell, but you cared, you cared a plenty lot, this was supposed to be important. You couldn't not care with all these anxious thoughts going on in your head.

Why can't i see? you thought to yourself, wondering why you couldn't see things the way your other classmates did. Everyone else seemed so much more happier than you did. Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you see things the way they see things? Why do you have to mess up so bad on this?

When you finally stopped your thoughts and snapped back to reality, you noticed the new couple stopped talking and were looking at you whispering some things. Shit, you stared too long. You quickly turned to look at your desk.

Finally, after some time the teacher managed to get the class to be silent, he presented himself, talked about how everything works this year, and asked everyone to present themselves one by one, to break the ice… apparently.

A girl on the left front beggined ; "My name is Mallory and i love riding horses on my free time. —You mean men? the boys snickered"

Long after that, it is finally your turn to present yourself.

"Uhm, i'm y/n.. and i love skating with my friends. —You have friends!? Someone random in the class exclamed themselves, even though they barely knew you for even an hour, some people laughed and the teacher told the class to be quiet"

It's crazy how people make assumptions on even people they never talked to and saw for only minutes of their lives. This is gonna be a long class, ice breaker wasn't really working out, was there even ice to break to begin with?

School is back, i guess. ~

The class ended, it's finally free time, you went to sit on your skateboard at the rooftop, the place you, Reki and Langa discussed going to if you were ever seperated at school and wanted to meet up. Eventually, Reki and Langa walked up to you.

The class was long, everyone was loud and judgemental, it was… definitely great.

"Hey, y/n" Langa spoke with a gentle voice "Wanna go skate in the playground ?" he asked and you looked at him, with a frown on your face "we're gonna get in troubles again, and i'm injured, for you to know." Langa insisted "But you still skated this morning despite your injury, and it could be fun, you seem down, come on come with us" he almost pleaded, you couldn't say no to him at this point, reki finally spoke "I mean it's your choice if you don't wanna skate i understand, but you're acting just like you were when we barely knew you, come cheer up a bit with us, won't ya ? If we get in troubles i'll take the blame if that reassures you." you looked at Reki, with a curious look on your face "How can you even take the blame for something like this ? —I don't know, I'll come up with something. Reki shrugged, you looked at the floor, a bit hesitant, but ended up saying —Fine fine. you saw the boys' eyes light up —Let's go then ! "

You stood up and took your skateboard with you.

You guys ended up skating at the corridors before reaching the playground, of course, a teacher was there and you ended up having to run away from a teacher with your skateboard in hands. You guys were caught as always and got in troubles, Reki did his best to put the blame on him but it didn't work out, now you three have to stay after school and help the janitors clean, atleast it's better that it's the three of you guys in troubles than only Reki. Ah, and the teachers took your skateboards, Reki literally groaned and Langa looked like he was going through all the stages of grief at that moment.

"Oops? Reki muttered under his breath when the teacher finally left you guys I hate cleaning He complained innocently —If it's with my friends i think it's okay, i help my mom clean the house most times. Langa said, looking as if he was recalling all the times he helped his mom with the laundry, the cooking and the overall house chores, as her husband died, Reki turned to you and spoke —Sorry, we didn't want to get you in troubles, we just thought you'd cheer up a bit since the first school day doesn't seem to be going well for you- —How was your class guys ? you asked out of nowhere, after having zoned out, cutting reki's speech off as if it was nothing —Huh!? Oh uh, i don't know, i didn't really pay attention, the window was more attractive. Reki answered, taken a bit off guard you didn't pay attention to what i was saying thou- —You mean the reflection of Langa next to you was more attractive? —How did you- i mean, no homo though. Reki scratched the back of his head, a bit embarassed, these two were so obvious, you stared at Langa, he seemed zoned out —Langa ? you called to him, he looked at you and then he said —I'm confused. —What are you even confused about ? Reki asked, with a nervous voice —I'm confused: when people ask me what's up, and I point, they groan."

You facepalmed.

"Dude?! When people ask you what's up they ask you how you are, not what's literally up ! Reki spoke, dumbfounded —Japanese is difficult. Langa remarked, thoughtful, looking at the ground —You mean english is difficult!? Reki retorted, remembering the many times Langa tried to teach him something in English —I guess any language can be difficult for anyone."

You were not participating in this conversation, staring in disbelief at Langa.

you zoned out, thinking about the way your new classmates were staring at you in class, and all the whispers you heard in your direction.

"say y/n, how was your class ? Reki turned to you, curious I mean, you're not in the same class as us and you asked us so.. —It was fine. "

Your answer was short and automatic, you know that tone and voice when you reply automatically and it's technically you talking but it doesn't feel like it's you - like you don't even think the words you say but somehow they leave your mouth as if they were the complete truth ? As if you had to answer this specific answer at all cost to protect yourself and act like it's the truth, so much you replied without thinking ? That's exactly how you felt when you spoke, and you hated it. You couldn't control it though, your brain decided it was best to lie.

And yeah, maybe it was best, Reki and Langa didn't have to know about anything, you didn't want to make them feel akward. I mean, it's always this way, whenever you feel the slightest bit down, everyone is always akward or replying "ah" or "oof" or "Sorry", it's as if what you said bothered them in a way, and you just didn't like it.

You noticed Reki and Langa exchanged a glance, did they notice your weird behaviour and caught on your lie or is it just a gay-type of glance ?

You continued talking, trying to sound convincing "I mean, the class was rather loud but it was pretty funny, there was this newborn couple and the guys joked around a lot-"

The bell rang, it was time to seperate again. Thanks god the bell interrupted you, because you didn't even know what you were saying. Still you didn't want to go back to the classroom, you wanted to stay with your friends.

"What? Already!? Reki complained, looking like he was going to be out of his mind if the bell rang one more time —Please focus this time Reki, instead of staring at me. Langa remarked, blankly, it took Reki off guard —I wasn't staring at you i was staring at me ! He defended himself, he put his arm over Langa's shoulder and tried to coonvince him I was staring at my hair because i thought about getting an haircut, you know ? You noticed sweats appear very fast on Reki's face —Right. Langa spoke, half-convinced You never changed your haircut in over a year, you only ever take your headband off when you're mad at me. —Let's go to class now, i need to tell you something. Reki changed the subject and started walking away, before turning to you and waving See you on the rooftop at lunch y/n ! "

You guys waved at each other, and you went back to your class. It was loud, once again, and you could hear a bunch of random conversations again, unamused.

"My uncle's favorite pastime was building cars out of noodles. —How do you even -"

"You know my favorite song? It kinda goes like this, tired of explaining, as these seasons keep on changing —Is this even Japanese…? —No it isn't."

"Which is greener, purple or red ? —Red is greener than purple, for sure. —Look at that color circle, purple is closer to green than red is ! —Does that even mean anything… Purple is made by blue and red, why wouldn't be red greener ? "

"What do these results on this quiz mean ? —You're like the peanut butter. The creator said so. —Wha- but i wanted to be a cheese! so that i could be cheesy with rome- —You're not always who you want to be."

The teacher eventually got the class to quiet down and called for everyone's names one by one to check weither they were present.

Your name wasn't pronounced, weird. But you paid no attention to it.

The teacher begun with an history lesson, a classmate raised his hand and asked something, he wondered why at 18 he was old enough to go to war, but not old enough to buy cigarettes.

You couldn't focus, your head was heavy, until eventually, you noticed the teacher was looking at you.

"Uhm, excuse me.. he called out to you, not pronouncing your name, he coughed, akwardly —Yes ? you asked, a bit taken off guards, were you going to get in troubles for not listening ? —What's your name ? He asked, a bit unsure of his question, staring at a paper, the class was looking at you —y/n l/n —Hm let me see… no you're not in this list. The teacher remarked Weird… What class are you supposed to be in ? —This class sir, it was written on the paper. you show the paper and the teacher examinates it, he looks embarassed —There must have been a mistake somewhere, maybe this is why Aoi haruka isn't here, let me contact my colleagues."

The class was silent, and after a few minutes, an adult came to the class to pick you up and lead you to your class, when you left the classroom, you could hear whispers in your directions, the adult apologized to you explaining your name got mixed up with someone else.

You walked with the adult, reaching another classroom. They knocked on the other classroom door and explained the situation to the other teacher.

"Please excuse me, we mixed up the names and got two students mixed up, i'm here to put y/n l/n here and take Aoi haruka to her actual class. —Oh uh, it's okay… Aoi haruka, please go, and uh.. y/n l/n, please go sit down"

The teacher looked a bit embarassed by this situation.

You entered the classroom, a bit nervous, everyone was looking at you, you looked at the whole classroom to search for a place to sit at, and saw a girl standing up with her backpack and stuff and leaving the classroom, it must have been Aoi Haruka. You looked at the seat, it was next to Langa.

You were in Reki and Langa's class in the end.

You could feel immense relief when you realized, and went to sit down next to Langa, Langa and Reki looked at you curiously, there's a paper on Langa's desk, there's sentences with a very good japanese writing on it next to bunch of badly written japanese sentences, Reki and Langa were probably passing notes about something, you could read a few words from the distance, but only a few, you managed to read your name and the words mission and lie.

What were they planning? When you think about it, what if they were talking behing your back like the other people who you thought were your classmates probably did ? You decided to shake it off, you were probably going too far. You want to trust Reki and Langa… Don't you? Aren't you a good friend?

…

Yeah.

Reki whispered something to Langa, and Langa then leaned his head towards you to whisper something to you.

"Reki asks what are you doing here —My name got mixed up with someone else, i was apparently supposed to be here"

Langa leaned his head back towards Reki and whispered to him what you said, Reki gave you a thumb up.

You smiled. Maybe you were luckier than you thought.

And maybe they weren't.

the class passed, it was way much better, the other class was kind of funny to be honest, but it was really tiring on the first day and they didn't seem to like you so, it's really better this way, and you get to be next to your friends.

But you need to focus on your school work don't you? You can't always hang out with your friends and have fun, life isn't like that, you need to work and be responsible. Be grateful you have it easier than other people, make the best of your school time because it will be harder once you start having a job.

Ah… right.

The teacher talked and you started taking notes, struggling because your wrist hurt, this is the wrist you usually write with, it's injured since your last race at S. Langa looked at you.

"Do you need any help ? he asked, with a calm expression on his face and a tint of worry —No it's okay, i rather not bother you, besides i can't even understand your writing. you whispered back, a bit harshly at the end, you internally slapped yourself for it. —L/n, is there anything you want to share with us ? The teacher spoke, looking at you, your classmates looked at you, you hated it —Uhm actually sir, their wrist is injured, so i was asking them if they needed help. Langa spoke instead of you —Thank you Langa but I was asking L/n to talk- —I CAN HELP ! reki raised his hand and exclaimed himself —Alright… Thank you for your enthusiasm Reki… the teacher replied, looking like he gave up at this moment —Sit next to me, y/n reki spoke —Ah yes… Langa, could you please exchange your desk with l/n's for the class from now on until their wrist heal ? —Yes. Langa moved and you guys switched desk, it looked like Langa was a bit sad to not be next to Reki anymore, but he was happy to be of help in any way —Thank you, Reki, Langa you mumbled, Reki smiled to you —It's nothing "

You got injured after a race at S a few days ago, you were racing Reki. You weren't doing so bad during the race until you thought that if you got injured maybe you wouldn't have to deal with school, and coincidentally, you lost balance, rolled down to the side, and hurt your arm and wrist. Reki was upset and worried and your skateboard continued rolling until it fell off a cliff and you never saw it ever again, but Reki had a spare skateboard for you, thankfully.

The class passed faster than the last class, Reki helped you and took notes for you, though he was pretending to take his notes about the lesson, his notes were mostly about skateboarding if anything, he looked more focused to help you though. Reki seemed kinder to you than usual, it's not that he's never kind, he's always been kind, but it felt a bit more insistant this time. ~ The bell rang, you put your stuff in your backpack and Reki helped you.

"Y/n" Langa spoke, you turned around to face him "yes ? —My stomach hurt. He said, Reki closed your backpack and walked up to him, concerned, he asked —Did you eat anything weird this morning ? Do you want to go to the infirmary ? —This morning, I ate a sock because people on the Internet told me to. You stared, blankly, trying to process the information, and Reki exclamed, in disbelief —What people on the internet !? Langa you can't listen to everything the people tell you to do, how did you even get yourself to eat a sock!? —It didn't taste good. —No kidding it didn't taste good! Langa look at me, did you swallow the whole sock ? —Yes. —So that's why you were having a hard time skateboarding earlier! "

To be honest, you didn't even notice this, but now you were worried for your friend, Langa. And you let Reki speak to him and explain to him that: no, eating a sock isn't safe.

Langa was really something, he was still skating better than you this morning even though he swallowed a whole sock, how did he not choke? ~ Long story short, he got drived to an hospital. For eating a sock. Because people on the internet told him to. Reki looked mad.

You were sitting on the rooftop with Reki, you both were silently eating.

"Langa really is reckless, he scares me"

Reki broke the silence.

You contested : "I don't think he's scary —That's not what i meant, but i mean, sometimes i literally have nightmares because of him, he can't go on and accept every challenges people offer him, i mean, the race with ADAM and now the sock? What's next is he going to mess with the FBI or something!? —I wouldn't even be surprised at this point.. you sighed —Right? I wonder what goes through his head, i mean, what's fun in eating a sock? —I don't even want to imagine. "

And there's a silence again. Until Reki broke it once again, looking at you with a stern look on his face.

"y/n, you won't be as reckless as him right ? —Huh? —I mean, last time you raced at S you got injured, we were racing, y'know… —Well hey, atleast you won ! You tried to reassure him —I want to skate with you but i don't want you to get injured, you know, and you just fell off so suddenly, it didn't even feel like it was an accident if i was honest You felt yourself internally panick, you didn't even know yourself if you did it on accident or on purpose. —No, don't worry it's just a silly little injury, it could have been worse. you tried to reassure him, Reki shouldn't be too worrieed about this, it's not like he never gets injured, he was injured for half of the memories you have had with him, he needs to think more of himself too. —Oka once told me, it's not bad to take care of yourself sometimes, you know ? his tone became a bit more stern —What do you mean ? —You don't look like you've been even sleeping at all y/n, and for the record, your injury was supposed to be healed by now, but you keep using your injured arm and your body is not getting enough rest, i'm worried that you'll actually make it worse."

You stayed quiet at his words, Reki sighed.

"y/n, please take care of yourself, i really don't want to lose you too"

you remembered him telling you about his old friend, you felt bad for even thinking for a second that maybe Reki didn't care about you, but now you needed to think of a way to reassure Reki, this was your fault for being reckless. You smiled and said "Hey hey, i swear it's going to be okay, i'm not being merely as reckless as you or Langa are sometimes " you joked and added "I never raced ADAM"

Reki looked at you with a silly angry face "Well it doesn't mean you can go around and make your injuries worse! You don't want to have to quit skateboarding do you? —Oh, come on it's just an arm —Just an arm!?"

You finished your lunch, and as you were about to get up while Reki was scolding you relentlessly about your injury, you tried to grab for your skateboard, and cut Reki's scolding off "Let's get our mind off of it and skate- —Our skateboards got taken away, y/n —Right"

You sighed, it felt empty without Langa. You felt silly for asking to skate into the school's grounds when you were the one refusing it this morning when Langa asked.

Did it ever feel this way when you were gone?

It felt empty even though Reki was still as lively as ever. If Langa was there though, you knew you wouldn't have been able to escape Reki's scolding, he's been pretty insistent for you to take care of yourself since that injury.

"Thinking about Langa, I hope he's doing okay…" you thought out loud, Reki nodded

Reki looked more quiet than usual, he was still talkative but less, it seemed he was thinking about something. No wonder why though, one of his bestfriends was in a hospital.

Well, bestfriend, that's understimating what the both of them really are. They have one hell of a bond. Even you can notice; their eyes contacts are everything. Even If they aren't romantic, they are still much more than bestfriends in ways words can't describe.

He got up and smiled "Well If It's Langa we have nothing to worry about, he always gets out of troubles somehow"

you nodded, chuckling a bit. It's true, Langa always get out of troubles.

The bell rang, you walked to your classroom together. You sat next to Reki, feeling weird that the seat next to you was empty, you missed Langa already.

The class passed, and when it ended it looked like Reki has fallen asleep while he was trying to take notes for you, but you were too zoned out to even notice.

A voice snapped you back to reality though.

"Just because the water is red doesn't mean you can't drink it… Langa what are you even talking about"

It was Reki's, you looked at him, confused, he was actually awake? You stood up and put your stuff back in your backpack, ignoring the burning pain in your arm.

"What do you mean? " you asked, before realising he has fallen back asleep. Reki is one to talk in his sleep afterall, he always does, you could still remember the day he woke up, stood up from his desk and screamed for Langa's name loudly in utter panick in front of the whole class when he was worried about his race with ADAM. You could also remember staying up with Langa when you guys were having a sleepover, just to hear what Reki would say in his sleep, there were no boring nights with Reki even when he was asleep, he was full of surprises, just like Langa, in a way.

"Reki?" you put your hand on his shoulder, he jumped and screamed "AH ?!!" you gestured for him to calm down. ~ Finally, the school day ended, more silently. You were in front of the school, Reki told you to wait here, you knew you had to stay one hour after class anyways to help the janitors clean, so it didn't reallly matter much.

"What are we even waiting for Reki? The teachers are waiting for us. —Just wait"

You stayed silent, until you noticed Miya walking up to you "hey slimes, so are we gonna go get the skateboards or what? You better pay me back after that. *You stared, confused, before turning to face Reki. —Reki, what is this about? *Reki sighed* —Long story short y/n… I'll have the two of you conduct a prison break ! —Wait you don't mean- —We're going to get our skateboards back and get away from here ! Reki exclamed himself, proudly —And then he'll become my cat. Miya added, killing Reki's joy in just a sentence —Don't act smug it's just one day ! —Wanna make it two?"

you stared at them, surprised, Miya didn't bring his skateboard.

So you were going to get your skateboards back and Miya was going to take Langa's skateboard back.

And then you could break out of school.

You stared the ground, your face frowned, and you spoke "They'll call our parents for that —Oh don't worry, i've done this plenty of time with Langa, you just never got into that much troubles before —What? But- you whole lots of crazy!- —They always forget! Infact, when i tried to wait for them to give me back my skateboard, they always forgot, so we have to get these back ourselves before they damage our babies ! —Fair enough i guess.."

You didn't want to imagine Reki giving birth to a skateboard, so you just went along with his plan hoping he'd stop using the name "babies" for the skateboards. ~ You were out of school with your skateboard, at the small skatepark you and Langa usually go to, you could remember Langa practicing tic-tacs here.

You were sitting with Miya as Reki was skating around

Miya yelled at his new human pet " drop, you must! —On it!" Reki dropped down the ramp, and failed, miya snickered

"Wow, and i thought i promoted you to a a golem! —You did!? Reki sounded happy Also If i failed, that's Langa's fault! Reki complained, which led Miya to be confused, he asked —How so? —Today I heard something new and unmemorable. Langa literally swallowed a sock because people on the internet told him to, i can't focus! —He did what!? So that's why he couldn't go pick up his skateboard himself!? Miya looked heavily surprised, he stared at the ground, hiding his concern"

Reki started skating again and raised his voice "Yes, he never changes!" Reki was obviously shaking and struggling to keep his balance, he looked tired and stressed, damn, you hated to see him like this. You looked away from him for a bit, and looked at Miya.

"Miya, how was school ? you asked, curious —It was fine i guess, you ? —You know how people get pregnant around their belly? Well i get brain pregnant, it's like i'm giving birth to so many neurons i'm gonna explode"

Miya stared at you and questionned your sanity. You looked back to Reki who was skating, you decided to cheer him on "Never back down never what!? —Never give up! Reki screamed in enthusiasm, before he falls on his balls and scream in more pain —Are you okay!?"

Reki sat up and gave you a thumb up, before standing up, visibly in pain. You started to wonder if you should join him, he seemed to continue skating despite his struggles, and you were just watching him with Miya, not doing an effort at all.

You can be such a burden sometime, you're almost certain being looked at this way while you're struggling must not feel cool. You remember being scared of people's looks when you started skating.

Reki went up to you, and asked you

"Hey, so y/n how are you feelin- —Meow for me, slime. Miya cut him off and Reki meowed, embarassed and annoyed, you laughed That's a good cat. Miya commented before Reki said —Oh shut it Miya, if we have a beef one day i'll make sure you regret that"

You looked at your phone and noticed that you had a message on a groupchat with Reki, Langa, Miya, Joe, Cherry and Shadow.

…You have a lot of groupchats. Like one that excludes Joe just for Cherry, and one to exclude Cherry just for Joe.

Shadow : " I'm racing a rookie tonight ! Watch me blow them off at midnight ! scary laughter "

It's scary how he used the scary laughters seriously as if he was talking to bots and roleplaying

Cherry : "I'll pass"

Reki looked at your screen, before saying "maybe we should go to Joe's… —Hm? you turned your head to face Reki, he seemed thoughtful. He turned to Miya and said —Miya, let's- —Call me master and meow. —Frick you! —It's apart of the deal —Fine- Master, let's go to Joe's meow —There there that's better. Miya pet Reki's hair and Reki looked like he was trying his best to compose himself, you tried not to laugh —Who's paying ? you asked —My cat is paying. —I didn't even- but yes that's true"

a few seconds passed, before Reki screamed

"WAIT I FORGOT I HAD A JOB !"

Your eyes widened, and you all skated to Reki's workplace, Reki apologized and you volunteered to replace Langa since he was unavailable tonight, since he… ate a sock. Miya was playing on his console while you two were working, you were pretty much zoned out and it looked like Reki would talk mostly to Miya anyways, you were zoned out but you could hear him complain whenever Miya told him to act like a cat, some things about this being inadequate at a workplace.

~ Finally, after that, you guys skated to Joe's restaurant, it seemed the restaurant was still open and Joe was waiting for you, Shadow and Cherry were all here, they seemed to know you'd come. Maybe Miya or Reki texted them to come.

You guys ordered some meals, and Shadow tried to steal Joe's kitchen to cook instead and show his great cooking skills, he wanted to cook you waffles or something… somehow, with his secret recipe. For shadow, excitement replaced fear until the final moment where Joe was able to stop him from using the kitchen furthermore.

Waffles are always better without fire ants and fleas, afterall. (This is an Italian restaurant).

It seemed the restaurant was originally closed but Joe made an exception for all of you because Reki convinced him to.

You were sitting near the window next to Miya, facing Reki. You asked : "So, what are we doing here Reki ? —I wanted to pass some quality time with my friends, you know.. eheh He looked like he was hiding something —That is your friend ? Miya pointed to Shadow which Shadow immediately noticed —Hey! I'm not your teacher or anything! Shadow raged, and Miya shrugged —You could have just invited everyone except Shadow on the groupchat excluding Shadow. Miya said, indifferent, playing on his console —WHAT GROUPCHAT?? Shadow yelled, before Joe told him to quiet down"

you stared at the table, a few moments later, Joe handed you guys over a few plates of food, as you guys ordered. Cherry was sitting next to Reki.

Shadow was renting, something along the lines "My dentist tells me that chewing bricks is very bad for your teeth. But no bricks can hurt my teeth behind this mask! I'm a true man!" you couldn't really understand what he was even saying, too zoned out to even try to understand. If Langa was here, he'd have been very happy to eat all of the restaurant's leftovers. You heard miya tells shadow "Well good for you idiot, just tell me if you want me to call a mental hospital for you"

You were happy you were all together, but you couldn't help but think about tomorrow's school day, you were definitely going to be even more tired than you were today tomorrow.

Joe kicked Shadow out of the restaurant for being a menace to his kitchen in the end as Shadow continued to try going back to the kitchen of the restaurant.

The first school day was tiresome, even if you were in Reki and Langa's classroom, you felt a sort of stress concerning your future, you didn't want to mess your life up. Life isn't just about fun…

Miya nudged your shoulder to get you to listen to whatever they're talking about, and he spoke "Thank god Joe was able to get Shadow out of his kitchen, if Joe ever lets Shadow cooks for us, I won't think twice i'll go : bye-bye-bye —This feels familliar you spoke, the way he said the end of his sentence looked like a song, strange.. —What does? Miya asked —Oh- nothing, nothing."

You stared at your plate and ate a bit, you were slow though. Reki was silent, after some time, Cherry spoke.

" Today I discovered something i never knew about carla before. —Which is ? Joe asks —Nothing. —If you want everyone to have a conversation so bad, atleast come up with something more creative."

the room was silent, Joe and Cherry wouldn't even speak, Reki looked at Joe, with pleading eyes, you were confused. Joe sighed and speaked:

"Say y/n, are you going to S tonight? —Uhm… You thought, S was really fun, and you really didn't wanna go to school and all, maybe you could just go to S and call it your life cheatcode- —I don't advice you to If you're still injured. Cherry said, glancing at your arm —I'm fine guys, i swear —You're not going to race anyone though, right ? Reki asked, looking concerned —Well actually i was thinking about it. you admitted, Reki looked at you with a face of despair and Miya spoke —You're so reckless y/n. —Y/n! please don't hurt yourself! Reki pleaded —It's no use Reki, they don't understand you… —What do you mean they don't understand me!?? —They zoned out again" ~ Long story short, the group convinced you not to go to S tonight, and Reki ended up convincing you to sleep at his place tonight for a sleepover so that you wouldn't be alone in skipping S tonight, but also to be sure you don't go there. He already sneaked to S without his friends knowing before, and he doesn't want you to do that too.

You walked out of the restaurant with Reki, Miya already went home, Cherry already left, and Joe had to clean after you. You already texted your parents that you would be on a sleepover with Reki tonight, you also mentionned that Langa would be there so that they wouldn't ask too many questions, even though Langa wasn't here.

"What a long day" Reki stretched, and looked at you "Let's go"

You both started skating, until it started raining, your skateboard wasn't set for rain, shit.

"Shoot! Y/n this way ! " Reki called out to you, skating away, the rain was getting slowly, no, quickly heavier and heavier, and you ended up falling off, you got up and took your skateboard and ran, Reki was already far away.

Big thunder noises

Oh, there's a thunder. ~ You reached Reki's house, panting and barely breathing, covered in mud, barely standing on your own. He panicked and apologized a thousand times when he noticed you got even more hurt, he took you to his house quickly not wanting to let you get even colder, and he checked your injuries once again, this time, in his bathroom, just in case something was missing in his bag, he was sure to find whatever it could be in the bathroom.

The bathroom looked clean, it was a small room but sufficient, you sat on a chair, Reki opened his bag and a drawer, before checking your arm first, your wounds visbly opened again as your bandages were red. How amazing. Reki probably didn't like seeing your bandages being red so often.

"Damn, now this must be my fault this time. Reki mumbled, as he got rid of your bloodied bandages and pulled up a disinfectant Thanks god the wounds aren't that big, you could have ended up in the hospital like Langa, because of me… —Hey, no, we're fine, we didn't predict the weather."

Reki seemed distant as he stared at your arm, he mumbled something inaudible. He was zoning out while lightly using the disinfectant, you didn't like this. So you spoke.

"You're not a god, you know. —And you're not either, so stop being so reckless will ya? He retorted, unhappy —Say the one who was blaming himself a few minutes ago! You didn't want to let this slide, Reki was done changing your bandages, and he spoke while putting back the bandages supplies into their places —I'm not blaming you! I'm just, well, worried for you you know! —There's no reasons to be. You stared at the ground, ready to deny everything, Reki spoke, almost reading your mind —Where else are you hurt? —Nowhere! You tried to stand up but your legs gave up pretty easily Agh- You almost fell but Reki caught you, some of the dirt of your clothes got to him, you both were still dripping wet, and you were covered in mud, it was a bit awkward, but Reki was there for you, he was like a brother to you —Hold into me, where does it hurt? —My knees —Shit "

Reki cursed and slowly had you sitting back in the chair, telling you to not move and not be reckless.

You and Reki held something in common, you both were pretty stubborn when it came to being fine.

Right now, Reki looked lost in thoughts as he checked your knees, and as he suspected, your knees were hurt, but it didn't look too bad yet, he sighed and looked at you in the eyes "We're going to get that checked tomorrow if it doesn't get better, okay? —Okay..? You sounded hesitant, as if it was weird for him to care about you,but it's not supposed to be —So you can't stand? —Actually yes I can! you tried to let go of Reki's grip, but you held into the chair instead, Reki sighed —Alright, uhm, you're covered in mud, do you want to take a bath? I have some spare clothes for you if you want? He politely asked, feeling bad that he let you get hurt like this —I mean, yeah alright you replied, not knowing why you could possibly say no, being covered in mud really wasn't pleasant"

This isn't the first time something like this happened, you smiled, this is why Reki always had spare clothes just in case, because you can recall the three of you getting all muddy so many times, and you guys would usually have sleepovers at Reki's house more than anyone's house. You knew what was going to happen was that you would take a bath, and then Reki would do so too when you leave the bathroom, clean and changed and as you go get your other clothes cleaned.

You might catch a pretty bad cold tomorrow. ~ After you took a bath and put on the spare clothes that were ready for you, you ended up in the living room, desperately holding into whatever you could hold into, you were told to sit down and not exhaust yourself. But to be honest, you uncounsciously wanted to exhaust yourself, so maybe you could ghost through the whole year, was it selfish? It's just the first day…

The family was really loud and lively, even at night, you recalled that it was often like this whenever you had a sleepover with Langa at Reki's house.

It's weird that Langa isn't here… It feels so empty even with all of the noises going on, Reki must be feeling stressed out. Just as he showed at the skatepark earlier, barely able to keep balance on his skateboard.

You heard one of Reki's sibling, try to tell a story to another sibling, something along the lines of "The llama couldn't resist trying the lemonade…", It felt very silly.

The atmosphere was warm, you sure never get lonely in here, this place is full of life. It was such a warm and fuzzy atmosphere, you couldn't help but smile a bit. Though the noises gave you a headache. Surprisingly enough, it still wasn't too late for Reki's siblings to be awake, somehow. Well, it's true that Reki's mother was desperately trying to calm the siblings down and get them to sleep, you were in the living room, your backpack out, you already had homework on the first day of school, and you could barely focus.

After some time, Reki came downstairs, he seemed to have cleaned himself up and changed himself faster than you did, he walked towards you and sat next to you, opening his backpack aswell.

You both tried to focus with the awkward silence going on between you, it was funny because no one could hear the silence as the house was really loud, but you could still feel it.

After some time, Reki scratched his hair, stretched and sighed "Man, I didn't listen to a single word the teachers said today —You didn't? —You did? —Yes, I mean… you hesitated, you mostly remember having negative thoughts about yourself today, you looked down at your paper I don't really remember anything…"

You felt Reki's gaze on you, you didn't know if it was a thoughtful look, a mocking look, a look of disbelief, or a look of concern, you didn't dare to move your head to know, sometimes it's better not to know, so you tried to focus on the printed writing of your paper.

"Is this history? you asked, Reki gulped —I thought it was maths —But there are centuries on the paper —True… But you have to calculate the centuries right? —Reki…"

You sighed, this was getting nowhere, you were barely reading. Mostly reading with your own eyes but not your brain, a simple sentence was like a treasure hint, each simple little words just wouldn't reunite or make sense in your brain. At that exact moment you just wanted to spend time with Reki, you didn't want to work, it was selfish, yes, but you couldn't help it, you didn't want to drag Reki into troubles though. You knew you were tired, but if you slept right now, you knew that you'd still be unable to work the next morning, it stressed you out, you didn't want to mess up on the second day of school aswell. You couldn't let all these bad feelings stop you, you didn't want to make yourself up excuses not to work, you felt like it was your fault, like you were the one who uncounsciously made yourself feel bad to have an excuse to work less and feel better about yourself. Though it was doing the opposite, and maybe you weren't right about this.

Thoughts were spinning around inside your head as your eyes focused on the sheet of paper and your textbook, you were completely zoning out.

How are you going to do this? How are you going to handle all of this? You messed up, all you had to do was not overthink it and here you already tired yourself out for a whole period, and you're dragging Reki into it aren't you? How stupid can you be? This is important, school is important, you can't just ignore that, it's not all just about fun. Why would it be?

"Y/n" *Reki called your name, looking at you "Hey, Y/n" *he insisted, you shook your head as your eyes widened, you stopped your trail of thoughts* "Yes ?" you tried to hold in your tears, but instead, you yawned, which got a few tears out of your eyes anyway, you whipped those tears away: you were just tired, that was all. Why else would have tears left your eyes? You're tired, nothing more. It was just one or two tears, a natural reaction from yawning, isn't it?

That is, before you realized it, the tears didn't stop leaving your eyes, it wasn't caused by just the yawning, you couldn't control yourself and your thoughts right now. Reki panicked, "Woah y/n! Hey please don't cry uhm-" you hid your face. when you realized.

Fuck, this wasn't the time to be dramatic, your other bestfriend was in the hospital, and all you could think about was yourself. How selfish can you be? Why are you ruining everything?

You weren't looking at Reki but even you could hear his panic, you tried to wipe away your tears and to calm down, it wasn't working out. Reki spoke, trying to be reassuring and comforting "hey, hey, it's okay- it's going to be okay, look at me- Well it's okay if you don't want to look at me, do you want to talk about it? What's up? —It's nothing, I'm just tired you said, your voice was shaking, you couldn't even make your voice sound normal, Reki's siblings were staring at you, great, you're making a scene now. —Is this the school stressing you out again? He asked, you stayed silent and your eyes widened a bit as you stared at the ground, Reki put an hesitant hand on your shoulder and spoke —Hey, it's okay, we're in classes of 30 people, they never check our work- —But I can't mess up you cut him off School's important, life isn't about just fun, work exist too Reki stayed silent for a second, before saying —Hey, I have fun at work you know —Huh? But this is a part time job!- —Does it matter? "

You paused, questioning your life's choices, Reki continued

"Hey, let me show you something" He stood up and led you an hand, you got up and he helped you walk, you guys walked toward the place he usually goes to to work on his skateboards in his garden, it seemed it stopped raining a while ago, probably while you were trying to focus on your work.

"Remember this place?" He asked, you nodded. Of course you can't forget, Reki made you multiple skateboards for free here, it was loud hearing the machines sometimes, but you can never forget a place with such fond memories.

Reki walked and grabbed a piece of wood "your skateboard got wet right? It needs to dry, this can last months, so to wait, i can make you another skateboard before this one breaks" he said, taking the usual measurements of the wood and tracing some lines, you were confused, weren't you guys talking about school and work just now? Why is he suddenly talking about skateboards again? I mean, atleast he was really passionate about it…

You stared at him, a bit dumbfounded, as he work, and you asked, before he turns on that godamn machine that had your ears dying on spot.

"Why are you doing this? —Well, because, if i let you skateboardless and dying to the stress of school, what will i think of myself for letting you down like this? —You're never letting me down, and, as I've said, life isn't about just fun anyway- —But it can be. Why torture yourself? He turned on the machine to cut the wood, making sure to follow the lines he traced precisely, communicating would be harder now, you had to raise your voice —It's not that simple! —Pick some trucks and some wheels"

Welp, there it is, Reki was being stubborn again, does he even understand you?

You sighed and stared at the available trucks and wheels, Reki was a bit too nice, he always gave you wheels and trucks for free.

Small wheels are for tricks, big wheels are for cruising on rougher surfaces. You pick out some wheels, and some trucks. When you think about it, Reki could just make you a board and you could replace the trucks and wheels yourself, why was he doing this?

When he was done cutting down the board, he asked "you done picking your trucks and wheels?" you nodded "mhm" he smiled and looked at the wheels and trucks you picked before nodding aswell, not surprised by your choice. He spoke, almost teasing you.

"You know, you really never changed your style of skating. —I don't really want to. You replied, Reki chuckled —You don't have to if this style suits you"

Reki started taking his supplies to color and decorate your board, you looked at him do so, and he asked "The same theme as usual? —Yes, please don't get too silly about it. You said in anticipation of whatever was about to come, Reki can be all but predictable sometimes —Will do!"

Reki got to work after putting a support under the board so that the paint wouldn't go over all the desk, and you just stared at him, feeling useless. He was used to working on this now to no surprises, and he was extremely fast, he surely looked like a professional. To you, he was like the God of skating, and you're sure many other would agree with you.

"Hey, y/n, want to add a touch of your help too? Let's spray some paint together —Can I really? —Yeah, it's your board not mine, as long as you don't spray paint all over my face I'm cool with it."

You smiled, feeling excited, you chose a color, specifically your favorite color. You started trying to draw some lines on the back of your board, not really confident. Reki nudged your shoulders to tease you, so you fought back.

Before you knew it, your board was full of colors and failed drawings, this definitely wasn't your usual board. And you both had full paint on your clothes, and some on your skin. You both were laughing and hardly breathing, when you calmed down, Reki looked at your board and declared "I shall call it the double painted friendship Reki-Y/n creation board, aka the Reki y/n dp friendship board!" you sighed, there he went again with his ridiculous nicknames, but you didn't dislike it either. If anything, Reki's enthusiasm was cheering you up, at this exact moment, you couldn't even bear to think about school, you just wanted to have fun. So what if they say life isn't just about fun?

You turned to face Reki, your eyes widened, and you looked at yourself. This was a catastrophe, you both were full of paint. Reki looked at you and looked at himself and realised the mess you both have done aswell, he had a curious and surprised look on his face for a second, before his smile brightened, and proud of himself he declared "Well looks like we both had a relooking!" you sighed and smiled "this isn't very healthy" he laughed "Don't worry, the paint is offensive once every 10 years"

"Let's let the paint dry for now." Reki said, before turning to look at you "You good?" you paused and thought, before answering "Yeah, i'm fine, why do you ask?" Reki sighed and said "I was scared you'd flood my house back there. —Hey! I'm not that much of a crybaby! —I'd rather have you cry than stay alone though. Joe once told me to never end up on my own."

You paused and stared at the table "Yeah, that's a good advice" you mumbled, before turning your head to face Reki, a curious look on your face "Say, why did you do all of this? You didn't have to let me pick out some new trucks and wheels, we could have just put the ones from the old board on the new board, you know? —Y/n, this is not the first time your trucks got wet, and i'm afraid they're getting rusty —They are? —Even a 4 year old would notice. —Hey! "

You guys laughed, and you asked "what do we do about the paint? —Let's go get it cleaned before it dries on our face, it's not raining anymore so we can go back to my house and to the cabin when it dries"

You were able to stand on your own, but when you took a step, it really hurts a lot, but you felt like you could handle it, things are way much less painful when you're in a better mood, it's crazy.

Once you entered his house again, you saw one of his younger sister, Koyomi, eating an ice cream and directly turning to talk to you "Hey y/n, i've got something for you —You're not sleeping? Reki asked —Nope, couldn't sleep with all the charades our younger relatives put in the house"

Koyomi took some papers and handed them to you "Here, nanaka and chihiro made these for you, they said they hoped it would make you feel better"

You took the drawings, these were drawings made by one of Reki's youngest siblings, a stickman kind of drawing with some hearts. It seemed even they cared about you. you stared at the drawing, while Reki said "Hey Koyomi, don't stay up too late. —You aswell" ~ After you both cleaned the paint off your face and arms, you went back to the place where the paint dried. You already felt much better, you made sure to keep the drawings somewhere in your backpack, these were silly, but you wanted to keep them in your room or something when you'll go back to your house.

Your phone bzzzzed, you turn on your phone and checked the notification, it was a message from Langa on the trio group containing you, Langa and Reki.

"Hey guys! I'm out of the hospital! :) The sock was no problem much, i'm on my way home!" Reki turned to you "Hm, what are you doing y/n? —Hey, look at this, Langa's out of the hospital you said, Reki immediately looked at your phone without any hesitation and said —Wow, so he really got out of troubles huh? —Yup, once again."

You smiled and typed a message on your phone "Hey Langa, I'm at Reki's house right now, I hope you have a good night, see you at school tomorrow!" you sent the message, before you knew it, reki took out his own phone and typed a message "Hey Langa, btw, i made y/n a new board, wanna video call to see it?".

You saw the message appear on the groupchat, and before you knew it, Langa already sent a videocall ask, you refused as Reki already turned on the video call and one was enough.

It seems the paint has dried already.

Reki picked the trucks and wheels you chose to put them and fix them on your board, you only noticed now but these also got colored in the process somehow, it gave your board a new type of look, you couldn't help but smile. When Reki was done, he took care of the grip tape, and when that was done aswell, he looked at you to present the final result while showing Langa through his phone the final result, and proud of himself, he asked, a big genuine smile on his face "Well! What do you think??" you clapped, genuinely amused. Langa praised Reki.

Reki grinned "I know, i'm the best when it comes to making boards —I helped painting the board too! —You sure are an artist y/n l/n."

Reki laughed, and you heard Langa laugh too. You were smiling, you didn't even know what time was it, you didn't really care about the time anymore, though you could notice dark circles under Reki's eyes, you didn't know if you had them too.

After a small moment of silence, Reki talked, in a low soft voice "Hey, y/n —Hm? —You're right, life isn't about just fun. you dropped your composure when he said this —What do you mean? —Life is about being happy, silly! He messed your hair up, leaving the screen on the desk and leaving Langa confused, he smiled you really are an idiot you know? he teased you, not actually meaning it —Hey! Atleast I care about my grades! You defended yourself, Reki grinned —You know, when it comes to school and grades, i'm not really worried, you build yourself a path towards the future by being happy and doing the things you like, don't you? —Well, it's true but… —So why torture yourself? You'll be just fine, a day of not doing homework won't kill you, hey, what makes you happy? —Being with you you blurted out and everyone else you added, Reki seemed a bit caught off guard, he scratched his head and blushed a bit, flattered, he spoke —Well then use your mind a bit more for us and less for school, I promise you you'll figure everything out at your own pace —Can I really? —Do I inspire you? he asked out of the blue, semi-hesitant, semi-confident —Reki! you nudged his shoulder and laughed —What? —Of course you inspire me! —But i'm not good at school and grades, I don't even care about school as much as you do. —Yes, but you're so passionate and good at what you do. I'm not even sure of what i want to do in the future. —All I did was enjoy what i enjoy. He paused and smiled brightly I love skating, the fun is infinite, it never ends!"

You heard Langa's confused voice through the phone, the lonely blue-haired teenage boy spoke "Y'know y/n, when it comes to school and work, i rather see you happy with average grades than stressed out and on edge with good grades, just like we found you were last year"

You felt a bit embarrassed and nervous, so you stared at Reki, internally begging for him to change the topic. He smiled, and said "it might not be easy, but hang in there, i promise everything will be okay, school won't pick your path for you, school will force you to pick a path, of course school is important, but a balance is important aswell, we can't have you so stressed out that you break down on one sheet of paper everytime, what kind of friends would we be if we let you alone to struggle like this? I don't think that would be very fair, you know. Life may not just be about fun, but sometimes it is. What's more important anyway is to be happy anyway isn't it?"

His confident and long monologue was interrupted by a big sneeze.

Oh, you had all that nasty stuff over your face, dear god.

Reki panicked and ran to grab some tissues, you tried not to laugh at the way he ran, welp, this was really worth not going to S for.

You stared at the phone on the desk and Langa saw your face and laughed as you picked the tissue Reki handed to you.

Through the phone, you heard Langa's voice "y/n, you know, I'm happy with you guys too —You better be." ~ You fell asleep in your sleeping bag, and the next morning, you both were completely sick. And you forgot to complete the homework you were supposed to turn in today. You still weren't even sure if it was an History sheet or a Maths one.

But did it really matter? You had so much fun yesterday, and you cheered up, sometimes it's cool to loosen up.

This is the type of memory you won't regret when you'll be at death's door. This is the type of memory that really matters.

Of course school did matter, but when it slowly kills you and you have no idea of what you want to do, what do you do? How do you balance personal life and school?

Life isn't just about fun sure,

It's about appreciating the moment that's happening right now. And right now, you didn't want to think about school.

Rather, you wanted to think about getting some meds, because you both were REALLY a sick mess.

And little did you know the papers you both left on the living room table didn't last long when Reki's siblings woke up.

Oops?

[hulhudhonado]

The Moment They Fell For You (2)

Note: I actually planned on writing all the Sumeru characters in one post but I thought it was getting a bit long. So I decided to split them instead. Also I think people do not write enough fanfic for the female characters. I did not proof read this at all. Sorry if it's not up to standard. Enjoy.

CW: None

HC: Reader is gender neutral and does not have a vision.

Characters: Cyno, Nilou

Cyno

You had known the General Mahamatra ever since you both studied in the Akademiya together. You watched him surpass you and your colleagues, rising to the ranks to where he is now. You watched in awe and also ashamed of yourself for not being able to keep up to his level. However times had passed and now you too were a scholar teaching amongst the rest in Akademiya.

While most tended to to go down the path of finding new information or discoveries for the next hit paper, you kept to yourself keeping logs of all the current surplus of information scattered through the Akademiya walls and passing those knowledge to the budding scholars of the future.

You and Cyno were not close friends however you both friendly enough for a wave or a quick hello back to each other since you were one of the few scholars that didn't seem to fear his gaze. Otherwise you barely saw him, knowing that he was someone who tended to do his job hidden or by himself. Due to the difference in your jobs you didn't expect to cross one another anytime soon, but when news came that one of your students may have been working to acquire illegal knowledge capsules you and him somehow ended up together in the mission to catch them in the act.

"I can't believe this is happening." You groaned to yourself, face in your hands while you crouched against the wall. This was the worst thing to ever happen in your entire history as a teacher. You couldn't believe that one of your students were going this far just to pass the exam. Were you too strict? Did you fail to teach them properly? It was too late either way. You looked up from your hands to stare at Cyno who stared down at your crouched form. His face emotional less and his glare sharp.

If it were anyone else they would be whimpering under his gaze, but you could tell he didn't seem to harbor any negative feelings. Well at least not to you. "If the rumors are true they will be held accountable. You don't need to worry about that. " You shook your head, standing up and facing him head on.

"It's not that." Cyno arched an eyebrow. "It's an issue with me. If I did my job as a teacher properly they wouldn't have needed to take such drastic measures. If this is true I at least want to hear their side. I want to make sure this never happens again." You answered, trying to keep a brave front. Cyno stared at you blankly before turning away to walk out from the building. "Do whatever you want. It depends on what we find anyway."

You watched him walk out of the door. All you could do was sigh, following after him. How embarrassing was it that this was the first time you both had talked to each other properly. "If this is how fast you plan on going the entire mission we aren't going to finish anytime soon." You jumped in shock, realizing that he had not left you to catch up but was waiting for you outside the door. "My apologies." You mumbled, even more embarrassed than before. This was not going to be a fun.

---

The plan was simple . Since you kept a low profile compared to most scholars, it would be easy for you to infiltrate the merchant camp with the rest of the knowledge capsule hunters. After sneaking in, using the codes that were given to you by an unknown source, Cyno mentioned he had his ways but he did not look pleased about it, you would try to find your student amongst the crowd. After they had been spotted all you needed to do was take a picture using the kamera.

After the evidence had been acquired, all you needed to do was send the signal to Cyno and rush out of the place as fast as you can so that Cyno could shut the whole place down for good. You could feel yourself getting nervous the closer you stepped near the camp. You still had hope that maybe your student was just being framed or it had been someone else.

However seeing the familiar face amongst the rest of the buyers only filled you with dread. You reached your hand to grab the kamera, slowly inching close to be able to take a clear picture of them in the act. Just as you were about to pick the kamera out for a quick picture, you halted hearing the distress in your student's voice.

"We can't be here father. There are already rumors about me. My grades are not even that bad, I can pass the bar exam without the knowledge capsule." You heard them say only to be hushed harshly. You could feel your eyebrow twitch in rage. You watched as your student looked around worriedly, trying to drag their father away from the rest of the crowd.

You felt the tension in your body release, your student wasn't the one who wanted to get access to the knowledge capsules. Their father just was a cunt. You wanted to go there and drag them away from him, telling them that it will all be ok. You looked down at the kamera and then to the signal in your hand.

Without a second thought, you clicked to the button to release the signal. You winced hearing the loud sound it made, Cyno was not lying when he said he would hear it from miles away. The merchants and buyers looked around dazed by the sudden sound. You immediately began to make a run for it but instead of the door you ran straight towards your student.

Pushing their father to a side after he had loosened his grip, you grabbed your student by the wrist and began to make a run for it. You could hear your student shout your name in shock but you continued to make a run for it, hearing the now panicked and distressed calls of the people back in the illegal trade "THE GENERAL MAHATRAMA! HE'S HERE!". You could feel a smile form on your lips, Cyno was definitely having a field day.

---

You could feel Cyno's irritation when he realised what you had actually done. However you were lucky enough that he was willing to hear you and your student out. You were glad they rumors were not actually true and it wasn't them who wanted to acquire illegal knowledge and you were happy to know Cyno was willing to actually believe you.

"Thank you." You said, you could feel your face heat up and at this point you couldn't tell whether it was from the joy of helping your student or whether you were just feeling shy. You could see Cyno's eye twitch a bit however his face remained stoic. "I was just doing my job. The trade was successfully shut down because of this anyway. We shouldn't be hearing about any illegal knowledge capsules anytime soon." You shook your head.

"I meant for letting my student go." You smiled at him and he huffed. You wondered if you were imagining it but you could feel him seem shyer than before. " That was barely anything."

"Still let me pay you back in a way." Cyno raised an eyebrow at you. "What do you suggest?"

"Maybe dinner? Or perhaps a game? I heard you loved playing a certain card game." You teasingly mention, pulling out a new pack of cards that you had made sure to bring with you just for this. You could see a glint of light form in his eyes.

"I can't turn down a challenge." He answered. Cyno didn't know what to make of you when he first met you, all he remembered was how you would gingerly wave at him whenever he would catch you staring while he instinctively waved back. He watched you grow fond of your students and show your interests to teach. You might not think he cared too much about you but he was always paying attention.

You guys were not close but you were always in the back of his mind. Maybe that was why he decided to hear you out when you decided to pull something risky like that during the mission. Either way, Cyno always had a form of affection for you and it seems your invitation to play Genius Invokation TCG has finally confirmed that maybe it might be just more than acquaintances. Cyno just hoped his stoic nature would keep it under wraps, at least for now.

Nilou

"Do you know how to dance?"

It was the first thing that Nilou had said to you when she saw you trying to dance on the outskirts of Sumera city. You decided to stroll into the Grand Bazaar one day. You just went inside to peak. The Akademiyan scribes would have been completely against you from entering but you were so curious. They always had something bad to say about the place and you just had to find out why hated the place so much.

You stumbled inside during an event that day. The lights illuminated the stage and the star of the show swayed to the rhythm of the music. You stared in awe when you saw how delicately she danced. She looked as if she was floating. All eyes were on her, including yours. She didn't even stumble at any moment and you couldn't even see a bead of sweat dripping down her face. 'Must be an angel' You thought.

You didn't expect to stay for the whole event but you lost track of time. Watching show after show, the theatre had so much to offer! Why would the Akademiya be so against it? The shows were exciting and full of life, most of them even showed a valuable lessons which were easy to understand by the general public.

Either way you got hooked on going to see what they had in store, especially the dances. The moves felt so calculated and precise. You could feel your Akademiya brain trying to figure out how they did it, which was what lead you to your first encounter with Nilou.

You were trying to copy what you had written down during one of the events. You wrote down her exact foot placements, the way her hips swayed to the beat and even the different speeds changes during all movements. However nothing was going right! You kept stumbling over you feet and you could not meet the beats.

You were surprised on how scarred you got during the process, who knew you would stumble so much just to learn how to dance? You huffed, wiping the dirt and grime off your outfit and pulling out the notebook from your pocket. You could not figure out what you were doing wrong? You repeated the steps in your head, jotting down what you had possibly missed causing your failed attempt. You sighed frustratedly, putting the notebook back into your pocket.

You made your way towards the river and began to pose. Nilou started her routine dance in a specific way and you wanted to find a way to replicate it. You looked at your reflection, you were too stiff and it looked awkward. You kept trying find a good angle and that was when Nilou had popped out, asking you the question.

You yelped, almost falling into the river, however you were saved as gentle arms grabbed you by the waist. You looked at her as she steadied you before letting you go. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scar you!" She said, arms up and face apologetic. You could feel your face warm up.

"How long have you been watching?" Nilou chucked a bit. "A while now. " You could feel your face become warmer. Nilou looked at you worriedly. "Oh! I wasn't watching you on purpose or anything! I was actually collecting some wood for the theatre props! I'm so sorry for invading your privacy!" She said, pointing towards the bundle of wood collected near by some trees.

You shook your head, trying to calm yourself down. The angel in your favorite new pastime had saw you dancing like a mess, however you still had some Akademiya scholar pride, you couldn't show her that this situation bothered you. You coughed into your hand, trying to hide the rest of the blush which was slowly going away. "It's alright. It's not like this is a private area anyway. I'll be on my way."

You turn to go pick up your stuff only for your arm to be captured by Nilou's firm grasp. "Oh please wait! I saw you dancing and you seemed you needed some guidance. I could help you practice if you like!" You turned to look at her as she smiled at you. Her eyes were such a gentle blue and full of life. You couldn't say no to that.

"That would be quite helpful actually." You mumbled quietly, still trying to keep whatever pride you had left in you. You wanted to know how to dance, you wanted to feel like you were floating as well. Nilou let out a laugh, it was sweet and you could feel yourself get butterflies in your stomach just from hearing it. "Let's get started then shall we?"

That was the start of your dance practice journey with Nilou. If Nilou wasn't in the theatre she was near the outskirts of Sumeru City with you. She taught you from the very beginning. It started from stretching. You were stiff as a board, which was how Nilou described you when you couldn't even bend to touch your toes. You tried to tough it out and you were surprised to see how fast results showed.

You looked at Nilou excitedly after you were successfully able to do her entire exercise routine without asking for a break. She giggled at your joy, she never had such a student who wanted to learn this much.

Then she showed you how to match the rhythm. It was simple, she held your hand and guided you.

First Step, Second Step, First Step, Second Step.

You held onto her hands tightly, watching both of your feet's intensely. You were worried that you would step on her toes at any moment. However during this moment all Nilou could do was stare at your face, eyebrows furrowed making sure not to miss a step. She couldn't but think how cute you looked so serious for something so simple.

Finally after learning the basics, she showed you how to do a simple routine, all the dance steps separately. You showed her your notebook full of all the records you kept of her shows. She looked at it enthusiastically. "You wrote this all down?" You gave her a nod, proud of your academic ability to be able to take notes down so well.

She stared at the notes which were accompanied by the drawings. You had written down almost her entire show routine. She could feel a blush creep up her face. You had looked at her so intensely, making sure to not even miss a single hand movement or foot placement. She could feel your eyes burn in the back of her head now and she wondered if she could continue doing the shows like she always did if it meant you looked at her in such a way.

"You didn't need to write all this you know?" "Why not? The way you move is so beautiful, I couldn't help myself. " The words flew out of your mouth so smoothly you didn't even realise how shy Nilou had gotten. Her face was entirely red at this point and she could feel her legs almost giving out. She huffed, placing the book to the side.

"Well you won't need that book when I am training you directly." She grasped your face, making you look at her directly in the eyes. " All you need to do is look at me." This time you could feel your face heat up.

---

The training took months. It became a daily occurrence of you sneaking out from the Akademiya to go to the Grand Baazar. Almost everyone knew your name and after Nilou was done with work you both would leave to go dance alongside both of your new secret dancing spot.

Nilou sat down on a rock, patiently waiting for you to began dancing. You were no longer the scholar covered in dirt and grime due to stumbling over your own feet nor did you look stiff when you tried to match the rhythm. You were confident and you wanted to show Nilou the progress that you both had achieved.

When you started to dance Nilou could feel her chest ache. You were so enchanting. She wondered if this was how you felt the first time you sneaked inside to watch her dance. She couldn't take her eyes away from you. 'Ah, an angel.' She thought as you smiled at her during your routine.

She didn't know how to express the emotions she felt inside her but she knew was she wanted to keep dancing with you in secret. Your dancing was for her and her viewing only.

[gaslysainz]

Lost (PG10) pt.2

Summary: The world is utterly unfair. He was her most prized possession, her life, her first ever commitment of love. But to him, she was just a mere person lost in his big world.

warnings: ; unrequited feelings; Pierre is a douche , arrange marriage, angst, explicit scenes and languages.

Author's Note~ Heya guys! So a few days back I posted the first chapter of my first ever fanfic! And I'm overwhelmed by the response ❤️ Really Thanks a lot to everyone who had liked the story so far. It's just the beginning of the journey, there's a lot to come. Love You All 😘 Here's my first ever story for you guys. As soon as I finish this one, I'll start taking requests maybe! Till then please show your love and support for "LOST".

Journal Entry -2

A new episode and a new day of my life. Never in my 24 years of life have I ever thought that I would have to come across this day. This awful day when i would have to sit through a whole day in my room crying my eyes out and coming out of my room only when i'm called for causes like "Julia needs a glass of water, you need to clean Julia's dress, Julia accidentally dropped food on the floor, clean up the mess" so on and so forth. Today was the day when I had to look at the most heart wrenching thing ever...

So here's what happened 

*FLASHBACK*

I was reading a book in my room and suddenly someone knocked at my door. I opened the door and came across Pierre!

"H-hey! you need something?"

I noticed him looking inside my room at our wedding picture hanging on the wall right above my head. Obviously he'd be curious about my room cause he's never been inside my room before. I actually felt a little awkward so i cleared my throat to get his attention.

"Uh! yea actually Julia was having a headache, go and make some soup or something and bring it up to my room  along with some medicine!" There was that tone! Full of despise for me.

"Sure" By saying that i went down to the kitchen to make some soup for her.

That's what my job in this house is after all, looking after the house and the people in it. Oh! Did I mention? We do not have any maids. Cause apparently according to my husband's mistress, I'm not any different than a maid so why waste money on hiring one? Anyways, after making the soup and being satisfied with it I went towards Pierre's room and stopped once I saw something that no married or committed person should ever see. My husband was on top of my sister thrusting deep inside her and them moaning out each other's name. 

You must be thinking that what am i so shaken up about? I should've been used to this by now, Well this is the first time i'm seeing them doing it in front of my eyes. Yes i admit it that i've heard them before but seeing it live, right in front of me is a whiplash of a whole lot of negative thoughts. And what did I do in that situation? Nothing! I just closed the door silently, kept the soup and the medicine outside the room and came back to my room and cried my eyes out! Why did they have to keep the door opened? Did my husband really become so heartless? Did he really want me to see that I can never get his love? Did he really have literally shove it in my face that he belongs completely and soulfully to his mistress and I can never take her place?

Oh! and the agony! My Step sister saw me standing outside the room and smirked!

Yes she had the audacity to smirk at me....

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

I know i'm young and naive. My sister is 27 and i'm 24 years old. She's more mature than I am, sexier, prettier, and more perfect , with an hourglass figure, amazing style. But all that, with a nasty heart it seems. She can easily go out wearing anything and everything that she wants whereas I tend to gravitate towards PJ's, hoodies and oversized clothes. The only time I wear dresses are at the parties that I attend with my husband. But still, he never looks at me the same way he looks at her. She is definitely Pierre's s absolute match in all spheres. And here I am, stupid little girl crying my eyes out inside my room cause my husband is making love to my step sister. 

I, Mrs. Y/n Gasly is once again LOST!

LOST in my sister's PERFECTION!

PS - Please lemme know what do you think about LOST and also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list ❤️

@peachiicherries @crimeshowjunkie

@oblomovissad ❤️

[the-greasers-angel]

How the gag would react if there partner had an ed: 

Darry:

When you first told darry about it he honestly was a little shocked at first but non the less he was very supportive in anyway he could be.

He knew that you hated eating in front of others so when the boys were over an he made food he would always save some for the two of you later 

Later once the boys were gone (or asleep) him and you would go outside with the food from before and you two would get on the bed of his truck and started to talk 

He always looked up at the sky or whatever was around while he started to lead a conversation while you would take small bites of the food 

Once the two of you were done he would put the bowls aside and gently pull you into his arms to hold you “ you did such a good job sweetie, i'm so proud of you for eating” he would say as well as giving you small kisses on your head

Sodapop: 

When you told sodapop about your ed he honestly didn't know how to react at first so with him not being able to use his words he gently pulled you into a hug “ alright sugar just tell me how i can help you” 

If you worked at the DX with him and steve he would always cover for u while secretly giving you a longer lunch break

Every now and then when he had some money on him he would get u small gifts such as a stuffed animal or a new piece of clothing you have wanted for a while 

When you two are apart from each other he gives you his flannel with his colon on it so it smells like him to comfort you

Ponyboy:

This poor boy would be confused honestly- he never really knew that was so you would have to explain the whole thing to him 

He would try to always have a snack or some sort of food on him for u just in case u havent had anything to eat yet

He would leave little notes of encouragement in your locker (ex: your doing great today baby or how you look as lovely as a sunrise/sunset)

Holds your hand and gently rubs it with his thumb when you have to eat in front of the gang to try and comfort you. 

Johnny: 

Johnny gently wraps his arms around u when u tell him, johnny slightly knows what it's like so he tries his best to help you when u can 

He will try and make food for you when he knows its a hard day ( side note i feel like when he did this ponyboy would bother him or try to nit pick at it and johnny would end up kicking ponyboy out-) 

He gives you his jacket if you feel uncomfortable at the dinner or wherever 

Dally: 

For once dally fully listened to you when you told/ explained to him about it and he even asked for ways to help. 

If you were at bucks and anybody said anything about it in a negative way dally would definitely make them lose a few teeth or a broken rib for it

When its just the two of you he trys to get you food to eat and then he lets you fall asleep on him 

 Secretly after awhile he gets buck to watch over you and make sure to get u something to eat ( dally would do dishes to help every once in awhile to “pay” for it) 

Two-bit: 

(Ok this is going to sound stupid but i think its cute-)  two steal  buy you cups with funny designs on them to help you feel comfortable 

He holds you in his lap whenever you eat 

Trys to make u laugh while you eat and probably attacks you with kisses on your cheek and neck

 steal  buys you snacks

Steve: 

If you were having a bad day he would slightly threaten to tickle you until you ate-

He packs lunch for you when u got to the dx 

He rarely even lets u have more of his chocolate cake 

Holds u close to him kissing your cheek softly ( you try not to let him if he has cake on his face but you fail anyways-)

[I'm sorry this was so late it was a request and I forgot to post it like 8 hours ago-]

[levmada]

*not a shipping post (because love doesn’t have to be romantic)

i think that eren and mikasa’s ‘ackerbond’ dynamic is an exact mirror of, and the more immature version of eruri, but it is not more unhealthy at its core.

arguably the main theme aot examines is what it means to be a slave and what it means to be in love, and straddling that line. for instance: eren went out of his way for mikasa to become independent and to keep from having to protect him. whether that was for mikasa’s freedom, or to preserve his pride and freedom is up to interpretation - and equally likely, when you don’t understand their bond. is mikasa choosing to protect eren anyway slave behavior or the behavior of someone in love?

mutually, levi continues to trust in and believe in erwin after he learns erwin leads the survey corps for selfish reasons, prioritizing freedom/the world outside/the debt he feels he owes to his father over others’ lives. is levi concluding, “it is what it is; i’ll still help you” the behavior of a slave or the behavior of someone in love?

here is where the immature vs mature distinction comes.

for eren and mikasa it’s simpler; mikasa promised carla she and eren would stay alive, they knew each other as kids through a traumatizing event, and at the end of the day mikasa wants to be by eren’s side with them both alive.

but naturally as two adult men, particularly with levi in particular maturing into an “adult” when he was still a child, their relationship is more mature. trust between two children is unashamed and even inherent, but in the first place levi was determined to kill erwin, and erwin saw levi as an object to further his goals. eruri’s bond of mutual trust is not “healthier” than eremika’s because it was more challenging to have happen, but it is more mature.

the one true marker of immaturity between the ackermans is their willingness to free their respective halves from the dream they were enslaved to. levi came to that decision much much much much “easier” than mikasa would; even during the battle of heaven and earth, annie tells her to focus on something else until eremika’s relationship climaxes like eruri’s did with their final conversation.

…this is more up to opinion, but eren’s actions ****towards mikasa**** was no more cruel than erwin was towards levi, but eren was much more immature at handling the conflict between them. erwin wouldn’t recognize levi’s devotion as the pure, unadulterated force it was; the greatest insult of all perhaps being the remark erwin made in his head that everything levi has done is a result of erwin having tricked him. on the other hand, eren would lie to mikasa in a final resort to push her away (note the trend) by telling her he had always hated her.

eruri don’t have this trend; they’ve always had the “mutual bond of equal trust”. it’s the world’s cruelty, creating a devil out of erwin, fueling his guilt, that would sew their entire personal conflict. for eren, it’s ingrained in him - to be “free” in every positive and every negative meaning, including being stubborn, and including running away to live with mikasa.

so again, eremika’s dynamic is technically more immature/simple, but not any more unhealthy. if you want to pick and choose, then technically their lifelong bond is better than eruri’s, but in fact their individual circumstances and differences create a respective relationship that’s just as secure and intense. immature, “innocent”, but not unhealthier.

levi and mikasa love their person because of who they are, not what they do, no matter what. is that slavery or love? you decide.

[pommunist]

thank you for allowing people to vent their frustrations or discuss whats been happening in your inbox, a lot of qsmpblr from what ive seen wants to ignore anything besides brightest side outlooks and they shove everything else down by labelling things like the spreading of the latest updates as "doomposting".

i personally havent seen any actual doomposting (expecting the worst possible scenario, ex. "the server is over and will never come back") from anywhere besides a small handful of people who hate quackity on twitter, the closest i can find here is sentiments like "yeah i dont know if ill be back to actively watching every day even if everything is fixed" or "im so disillusioned at this point that im not coming back until we get concrete proof things are better" where its people personally deciding to (often temporarily) leave the fandom, not any actual doomposting or discouraging anyone to still follow the server because "theres no chance anything will ever be fixed".

so yeah, thank you for allowing stuff besides the most positive of takes in your askbox <3 im too scared to post stuff on my own because of the toxicly positive mindset on qsmpblr, so being able to vent my frustrations in your askbox really helps!

Tbh I don’t blame people who are complaining about what they see as « doomposting ». When you love something you don’t want to wake up every morning learning about another set of bad news on it, instead you want to believe that everything will be fixed and that you will soon be able to enjoy it like you used to.

However the situation IS bad. People are talking about negative things because they ARE happening. And it isn’t just some random drama like this is a situation that affected negatively on people, could even be considered breaching some laws and, also, be the end of the project. I don’t like saying that, obviously, but it’s the truth.

Saying it’s joever already won’t do any good but so will blindly hoping that things will be better. Tbh I’m happy that I haven’t seen much of both of these takes except from the extreme sides of the fandom (out of all the anons I got since it started very few were extremely negative, no hate to them btw feel free to vent in my askbox i just chose not to post them).

People can stop watching qsmp altogether, or just keeping to their fav ccs streams, some can chose to keep watching like they did before for X reasons, others are straight up leaving the fandom, it’s all fine, we just need to understand everyone’s perspective without jumping to judgement.

Side note : One thing I won’t tolerate here is hate on the admins who spoke up though (this + the usual assholery aka random hating, bigotry etc)

Personally I haven’t watched a qsmp stream since the situation was exposed but thats just because I don’t want to support the project rn and can’t enjoy the content knowing what we now know. That’s just me though !

Anyway rant over kkkk thanks for the nice ask anon ! Weirdly I think keeping track of the situation and answering so many people who had questions/wanted to air out their thoughts is what helped me not dwell on my own sadness regarding what’s happening ahah

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

this was quite a while ago so my memory is hazy but it still sort of bothers me, so

AITA for making a quick comment about a ship dynamic(???) i didn't like in the ship tag?

before you jump on my ass, this isn't pro/anti stuff. literally just a matter of preference.

not going to mention the specific characters or media in question for pure anonymity's sake. i'm just going to assign arbitrary names to the characters in question for readability. let's say Albert and Bartholomew, or something. and the ship name can be Fucking BartBert I Guess.

"Bartholomew" had a traumatic experience in his childhood that had a very large impact on his mental state, let's say. as a fan of. um. "bartbert". i had noticed a trend in fan works of this ship depicting an AU version of Bartholomew that had never had this traumatic event happen to him. not that there's anything wrong with that, really. i just found it sort of strange and i was more interested in the canon character, additionally i found it sort of comforting to think that Bartholomew was worthy of love scars and all, so to speak. so i made a short post in the tag expressing pretty much that. along the lines of "why is there so much fanart like this? can't he be loved the way he is?" or something like that, and tagged it as bartbert because i wanted to see other people's thoughts on it. in retrospect it could've been read as dismissive or inflammatory i suppose but i really didn't mean it like that. i was just a little bit annoyed and confused by it.

fast forward a little while and this person comes into my notes saying something along the lines of "for some reason i can't reblog this on my main, but it's because people have been nice enough to make fanart of the AU that i made." i didn't think i knew this person at all, so i essentially just responded trying to assure them that i don't know them and wasn't trying to attack their art or them personally or anything.

i'm not sure exactly what happened after that because it's been like 2 years but in essence, i had actually blocked their main a few months before, because they had been posting about that AU and i didn't like it, so i just blocked and moved on like i usually do with stuff like that because i didn't want to see it in the tags. i probably didn't even realize at the time that they were the creator of the AU. but this person pointed out that i had their main blocked as like, evidence that that post i had made was a personal attack against them, or something like that?? of course i didn't mean it in that way, i had just blocked their main months ago and forgotten about it, and i wasn't even really trying to be rude but they blocked me before i could try to explain myself.

i remember this whole thing pretty vividly because i was at the zoo with my family that day and feeling like i was being accused of something i didn't do, or being called mean or being picked on by someone with a much larger following than me presumably, just for making a single post the night before was really stressing me out on what was supposed to be a fun day. in addition i ended up leaving the fanbase for the work in question entirely pretty soon after because i didn't want people to think i was weird or mean. it's sort of colored my recollection of the work in general, which sucks because i do still really like it.

in retrospect i'm honestly not sure if what i did was wrong or not. i suppose i shouldn't have put negativity in the tag but also i feel like you should be allowed to express negative opinions the same as positive ones, right? as long as you aren't being a jackass about it. although at the same time i can sort of see their perspective because i think if i saw a post like that about something i had made i might've jumped straight to being defensive about it, too...

but anyways it's one of those memories that creeps up on me while i'm trying to go to sleep, so,

was i the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[zels-echoes]

MHA 423 spoilers under the read more so please don’t open if you don’t want to be spoiled.

I am getting really disappointed in fandom constantly jumping to conclusions.

There is so much negativity and despair from everything happening in this chapter with the death of Shigaraki and… For some reason everyone is saying Shirakumo is dead.

First, where the hell does everyone get the idea that Shirakumo/Kurogiri died in this chapter? He WAS going to sacrifice himself to stop AFO, and he started to disappear as he was creating a portal to switch places with Deku, yes, but it got interrupted by Bakugo. Even with the way Rukasu interpreted it says otherwise:

‘Kurogiri starts to disappear but, at the last second, Bakugou appears and propels to deku with his explosions.’

Yes Hori is going write Shirakumo trying to sacrifice himself, get interrupted by Bakugo, and die for no fucking reason having done absolutely nothing there. There’s no way Shirakumo is dead, guys. There’s no point of Bakugo’s entrance being like that if Shirakumo still dies anyway. The point was to say STOP SACRIFICING YOURSELF AND TRAUMATIZING YOUR BEST FRIENDS, OBORO.

Yes I know there’s the panel where we see Shig say ‘Kurogiri..’ as well with what looks like embers of the portal vanishing, but… Nothing really came of that. Nothing to me confirms Kurogiri/Shirakumo is officially dead and gone. There would be no point to writing Bakugo last second interrupting him like that. At all. My bet is the portal vanishing because he went out-cold. He was already exhausted before that. Hell I really don’t think any of the villains are dead except AFO. The only one who deserved death. As well as Shigaraki (note: but not Tenko Shimura).

Second, do you all forget the point of MHA (and Star Wars for that matter since it’s a core influence), is to hold out hope? The final war is supposed to be about saving lives, not losing them. Is Shigaraki dead? Yes, but Tenko Shimura will be saved, and I’m on board with the Phoenix theory because why would it be mentioned that the regeneration half of the quirk was removed before giving it to Tenko? Destruction of Shigaraki is then restored by Shimura. It’s beautiful.

Third, the manga isn’t over yet. Shonen Jump hasn’t even come out with the announcement on when it’s supposed to end. We likely still have 10-12 chapters left considering this is the start of a new volume. Stop jumping to negative conclusions, give it time, have a little patience before despairing and making such harsh judgements.

Idk, I could be very wrong and just coping. Maybe Shirakumo did die, maybe Shig/Tenko is gone for good. Maybe the end is just full on Star Wars where the Vader/Kylo Ren figure does a good thing by killing evil sith Emperor Palpatine figure then peaces out (sequel ending was stupid af to begin with). Everyone could very much be dead and gone but truly what kind of story would that be? But idk it doesn’t feel hopeful for this story. That’s not saving any of their lives as Deku wanted. You’re telling me they’re just going to up and rebuild society without the perspective they need from the villains who weren’t accepted in the current mold? Is it just going to be on Deku’s shoulders like Luke Skywalker? Spoiler alert: Everything post OG trilogy Star Wars is in the damn shitter with the New Republic and I'm not just talking the sequel trilogy (See: Mandalorian and Ahsoka) and for the love of god WE DO NOT NEED THAT TRASH HEAP OF A SEQUEL TRILOGY REPEAT ANYWAY (I feel bad for Filoni having to pick up the pieces of this trash to make the sequels seem coherent like he had to with the prequels). I don’t believe that for a second. Something is gonna happen. Hori has been taking what we expect from a show like Star Wars and flipping the table on it. Like All Might being an Obi-Wan figure who goes to fight the Vader figure and dies, but surprise, All Might lives instead, because we don't need the master to sacrifice himself and die. The only thing we can do is wait. Horikoshi has been doing a shit load of back and forth between despair and hope, and I sure as hell can’t see it ending on despair.

No more of this solo Luke Skywalker and Rey (yeeshyeeshyeesh) building everything back up with the light side of the force. If you want balance, you need the light and dark working together.

[memoriashell]

okay i’ve been seeing some things go around due to one of kodaka’s bluesky posts, so i’m going to throw my hat in the ring and offer my interpertation based on what i got out of his original post. since i think some things have gotten lost in translation and have gotten some misinterperations spreading because of it.

tldr; i don't think kodaka retconned or anything, owada is still ishimaru's first real friend by far.

disclaimer, i’m not fluent in japanese, so i'm not claiming that this is perfect or potentially not without misunderstandings. i’ve also included some translation notes to clarify some things that i felt needed clarification and to offer explanation as to why i reached the conclusions that i did.

kyappu-o ’s question:

最近石丸清多夏の中学生活が気になって美味しい物しか喉を通らない状態です！

These days, [I’ve] been wondering about Ishimaru Kiyotaka’s middle school life, and the circumstance is that appealing things cannot be swallowed.*

* Okay, I know this isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things, but the second part of the question was giving me a little difficulty; mainly because I think it’s probably slang that doesn’t 100% translate. Anyways, the connitation here is implied to be negative, so I think unlike the translation that’s been going around, it isn’t meant to be a positive statement. If I had to guess, in English something that is hard to swallow is generally a negative thing, or at least not positive usually; so I think there is a similar euphiusm in Japanese. In turn, I think the request might have been implying that they were requesting they wanted to know something not so positive. Again, this is just a guess, and not really important in the grand scheme of things.

kodaka’s response:

クレヨンしんちゃんの、しんちゃんみたいな自由奔放な友人がいて、毎日振り回されていました。

Similar to Shin-chan from Crayon Shin-chan*, there was a free-spirited friend**, and every day [Ishimaru] was pushed around***.

でも、引っ越してしまって、寂しい石丸少年でした。

But [the friendship] ended when [that person] moved, and Ishimaru was a lonesome youth [following this] ***.

* Not going to lie, this one is probably hard to follow a little without the context of knowing what Shin-chan is. Here's the wikipedia  if you want to better understand the idea of 'free spirited' that is being conveyed here; but basically, five year old that is very brazen, I guess. Basically, attitude wise this friend was the opposite of Ishimaru.

Also, while 自由奔放 doesn't exactly translate to free-spirited, it is close in meaning; it translates to free and uncontrolled, or behaving with abandon.

** As a note, 友人 (yuujin) is used here instead of 友達 (tomodachi); which is a more formal way of saying friend. I would assume Kodaka's word choice is pretty intentional here. I'd say it's to convey that despite being friends, this wasn't a close friendship; just closer than classmates, perhaps.

*** This is the part I think has gotten a little misunderstood. 振り回す can be intereperted a few ways, which includes: ++ to show off (generally in the sense of one's knowledge) ++  to abuse (one's power) ++  to manipulate someone

Thus, why the translation I went for was that it's a friendship where Ishimaru's being pushed around. It's open for interpertation how you want to take it, but it's clear that it's probably supposed to be understood as not the most healthiest friendship. Probably a very one-sided one.

**** Also a little bit hesitant on translating this bit, but I think it's mostly correct. To explain why this bit differs from the other translation going around:

While 年 does refer to time, 少年 (shounen) means boy, lad, youth, etc. I think it makes more sense to interpert it as Ishimaru was a lonely youth [afterwards]; rather to break 少年 up to get Ishimaru was lonely for a little time [afterwards].

[peachiseas]

okay i am very new here, so i need a through introduction to your mcs! like eve for example, pls post his whole biography o(╥﹏╥)o

fr tho, tell me anything and everything :D

TOOK SO DAMN LONG SINCE I WANTED TO DRAW A STEP ONE REF OF EVE BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A MINUTE so here are the sketches,,, Anyways- gonna introduce the main two mcs/ocs you'll see here: Eve Cortez Williams and Aaliyah Dubious

(dont mind my ipad scribbles on the screenshot iofqiowogi) Lemme put this under a readmore actually so yall dont get slammed with a long ass post:

Starting with Eve:

He's my Tamarack MC, but I figured since uh. all my art that was a given

He has a strained relationship with Qiu in step 1 but they become besties by step 2 and by step 3, they are like family to each other. If no one got Eve, Eve knows Qiu got them, amen 🙏

He comes out as transmasc by step 2, and by step 3 he gets top surgery and starts taking testosterone and firmly identifies as a butch lesbian

He's from the southern part of Miami, Florida. He's Golden Grove's residential florida man

He practices martial arts religiously, he's a big fan of Goku and Dragonball in general so he wants to be like his idol

His story deviates a bit from the OL2 generic mc story, he did have a dad! Opal and his dad wanted a kid but they both didn't want to get married and since the two of them were best friends, they decided to have a kid together (or well two but we'll talk about that later)

What's important to note from above is that his dad isn't around anymore because his father passed away a few months ago due to a car accident and Eve was hospitalized as a result

So by the time he's at Golden Grove, he's in anger stages of his grief and he doesn't want to be bothered. Which sucks cause hes neighbors with the two loudest kids on the block

Doesn't help he's a ESL speaker (English as a Second Language) and Golden Grove's population is majorly white so he has even harder of a time adjusting to it

He gets into fights in step 1... a Lot. Someone will look at him funny and they'll get punched in the face

He does adjust but he still doesn't like Golden Grove by step 3 but funnily enough, he moves away at the end of step 3 for treatment but moves back in step 4, crazy how that shit works huh

He has two emotional support bunnies; Bulma and Chi-Chi! He gets them in step 2, Qiu and Eve bond over them LMFAO

As for Aaliyah:

She's my Qiu MC, to the shocker of no one. Tamarack is also her best friend <3

Aaliyah is from New Orleans, Louisiana! She's full blooded Haitian and she has family in Haiti

She's also transfem! She passes for cis in step 1 thanks to hormone blockers and some makeup and then starts taking estrogen in step 2 and onwards

Her being black and transfemme is integral to her character and how she navigates around Golden Grove, she doesn't tell anyone she's trans until near the end of step 1. By step 3, the girl gang and Qiu knows shes trans

^^ That's because she had a very negative experience coming out to her community who previously loved her but flipped on her just as fast

So moving to Golden Grove was supposed to be a fresh start for her as herself but by that point she feels like she has to keep up her "cis-sona" lest she gets bullied again

She still gets bullied for other reasons in step 2 though (being a pretty black girl and the one person who has a crush on her is the most popular kid in school... its rough! 😭)

By step 4 though she is proud to call herself trans and will let people know!

She lovessss animals! And the animals love her back! She feeds them all the time and keeps animal food on her for that purpose when she goes to the park to read by herself, she got a flock of crows and stray cats that like to follow her

She has a cat named Kiki!!! Kiki loves everyone except Qiu though, Aaliyah doesnt know that though-

I hope that was enough of a info-dump! If anyone has anymore questions please ask i have so much lore please-