#anyway im sorry for the vent and im sorry bc im not sure if im even making any sense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

otrtbs · 8 months

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any chances ppl would be allowed to bind ahb for personal use ??

hiya!!

at the moment, and for the foreseeable future i am saying no. just because there are copies of ahb! circulating around SEVERAL websites and vendors being sold for oodles and oodles of dollars. despite my requests for the sellers to stop.

i have had people (etsy vendors) in the past lie to me and say they've made "too many personal handbound copies and are only selling those extra ones" which ,,, was obviously a lie. also they were getting the copies through lulu and selling them just btw.

i have also had people tell me that they are binding them and selling them to others for personal use but not making profit off of them even though they're selling art heist for over $100 a book. so. yeah. another lie

so, sorry! but yeah!! there's not much i can do about people actually listening to me and respecting my wishes etc etc and lord knows they don't, but i would super appreciate it if we kept ahb! an ao3 exclusive for now!

it just makes me feel slightly better to put more rules and boundaries in place! though it's never stopped people in this fandom from bulldozing right through those anyway :/

#asks #art heist baby!#and sometimes i feel like the wrong people get the short end of the stick #bc the people who will listen to me wouldn't sell my fic on etsy anyway #but the one's selling my fic give less than 2 shits if i ask them not to bind it...#but idk. idk what to do about this anymore. honestly #im tired of filling out copyright requests and proof-of-ownership forms etc and going through customer service reps #just for ahb! to pop up somewhere else for sale the next day #like it takes HOURS. of my time to do that. and a lot of my limited energy.#so im truly at a loss w what to do #but anyway sorry you didn't ask for that long-ass rant !! i vented a bit for sure

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kaiserkisser · 1 month

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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)

#[🔮] rambles ~#lmfao you speak up in this household? WRONG. MISTAKE. HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.#expressing your thoughts? fucking blasphemy #“oh you do know you can tell me anything anytime right? ” what a joke #gods #fuck this shit #you know what i need to learn properly? keeping my mouth fucking shut. keeping my thoughts to myself.#why do i even bother #I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING #just you know spoke the truth which is apparently forbidden or smth #its not my fault shes a hypocrite????? cant accept the truth thats her fucking problem #honestly i genuinely cant think of an adult around me who isnt a hypocrite but im sure there hopefully is #and then she comes again all sweet sickly smiles expecting me to shower her with love the next moment after being fucking scolded like hell #for saying ome single fucking line of my thoughts that she so encourages me to “express”#as if everything is my fucking fault #atp i hate myself as much too bc why do i let myself get affected i should have grown used to this shit years ago #i should know better than to let her get to me yet look at me being a sentimental lil bitch #god i just wanna get out of here please #anyways shit this didnt go to my vent blog fuck im sorry yall had to read that guys please feel free to ignore lmao #but yk i had to get my feelings out somewhere bc wwll i bottle up enough already lol #tw vent

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echo-s-land · 5 months

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It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you'#its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.)#anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point)#am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

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shmothman · 2 months

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im so done with this fucking manuscript 😭😭

#got reviews back and I only have 2 weeks to respond to some pretty major changes #I feel very overwhelmed #I already found a major mistake #and I don’t have time to redo the entire analysis??#I can’t rewrite this whole paper in 2 weeks #im meeting with my professor later and I’m sure she’ll help but #I feel like I was just given this kind of crappy dataset and told to figure it out #of course I made major mistakes I don’t know what I’m doing bc no one told me #I know grad school is about figuring things out on your own but #I’d never seen any of this stuff before I was given this paper 😭#it just feels like too much and I fucked it up—#ugh crying at work #do it crying do it crying do it crying #sef speaks #dl #anyway. sorry for venting

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chiistarri · 3 months

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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever #im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point #and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn #selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too #we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right #get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure #what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye #AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care #she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us #what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not #taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg #just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg #why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend #and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic #and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc #but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever #if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die #sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP #id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh #post #nickpost #will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1 #i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it #sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh #nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone #living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh #adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway #its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her #bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships

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rubiesintherough · 5 months

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#ableism tw #(( ooc. ))#venting tw #when i'm in a 'be as ableist as possible ' competition and my opponent is my mil 0_0 #i can't drive. its not safe for me to drive. i don't have a license #it's not a good idea for me to get a license atm bc my health issues make it so i would be a risk and danger to myself/others on the road #but trying to explain that to mil doesnt stop her ( and husband ) from making snide little comments about how immature and childish #i am bc i dont drive. how im just lazy bc i 'choose' not to drive. guilting me really hard lately bc there's been some circumstances #that would be easier to deal with if i could also drive... and she made sure i knew that. repeatedly. so did husband #man. the ableism doesn't end. screaming at me and throwing literal tantrums about all the housework not being done to her standards #bc i literally collapsed halfway thru. treating me like shit due to my anxiety disorder and panic attacks. aka acting like i'm just being #'dramatic'... when my ptsd / anxiety are kicking my ass #and husband not having my back with her makes it all the worse. anyway. sorry rant over. gonna get back to writing

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dandyshucks · 5 months

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need Guz to hug me tightly for like an hour solid oh my god dhdjdkl I went driving for the first time in over a year and I chewed my lip raw 😭😭

I'm starting to look like a caricature of Anxiety with all these physical symptoms and signs LMAO

#this is so ridiculous fhfjdkdl #i do not like driving fjdkdl i know i should not be on the roads #but unfortunately i have to bc i live rural and also my parents insist i ''just need more practice''#practice is not going to fix the dissociation 😭😭 practice will not fix the Other Drivers being shitty and scary and reckless fjfkdl #it might make it slightly easier bc i wont have to think as hard about shoulder and mirror checks and roadsigns and speed limits #and where i am located on the road and intersection rules and whatnot #but like... it does not fix that i live in a town (and world lol) where ppl are fucking bonkers on the road #i had someone riding my ass for like a full five minutes. we had only two feet btwn us. MAYBE. IF THAT MUCH.#he was BIG mad that i was going the speed limit #and THERES A POLICE STATION LIKE RIGHT NEAR THAT AREA MY GUY IM NOT GONNA GO OVER THE SPEED LIMIT RIGHT THERE LMAO ????#also im a rule follower usually so i do tend to go Exactly the speed limit fjfkdl #and maaannn that makes people SO fucking angry dhfjdl its impossible to drive Anywhere without having someone right on ur bumper #its so ridiculous like... that's not helping anyone ??? ur not getting to ur destination faster by riding up on somebodys ass ???? hewwo ???#ANYWAYS. i drove around the neighborhood and then went up the highway and thru some intersections and then into the main core of town #and then i got my dad to take over from there bc it was lunch hour and the core of town is a lawless land at the best of times #MY NERVES ARE FRIED. i need Guz to act as a weighted blanket or one of those pressure therapy vests for me LOL #im like... shaking fhdjsl that was far more than i thought we were going to do for driving today good lord #IM OKAY THOUGH I SURVIVED I DIDNT EVEN HIT A CURB OR ANYTHING #i think I've only hit a curb once so far in all my times driving and that was on my second time driving on a road i think #so pretty good track record... im a very careful driver fjdkdl i work so hard to be safe and drive smoothly #during my driving test the only thing the test guy had to critique was that i waited at an intersection when i could've gone #but the reason i waited was bc i wasnt sure i could make it across the traffic lane before the oncoming vehicle got to us #so it was like. a safe decision overall but a little too hesitant which can actually be unsafe fjdkdl #AUGH ANYWAYS SORRY FOR RAMBLING SM #driving stresses me out so bad and my lip is all raw now and i have so many physical stress symptoms the past few days fhfjdl #after tonight i should be able to calm down a bit hopefully fhfkdl theres a thing we're going to tonight thats been stressing me out so bad #but after tonight it'll be over and hopefully I can get myself settled down again fjfjdkl #dandy.cmd #vent //

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doodlebloo · 2 years

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...

IK a lot of people are like "my interest in dsmp was kind of gone anyway" I'm the opposite. I'm still just as in love with this story as I was in October 2020. I'm still just as excited when Tommy or Ranboo or Tubbo goes live. I'm still just as thrilled when a mutual posts new art or writing as I was two years ago. My interest really hasn't gone down at all and I had so much more I wanted to create.

#i think im still gonna finish my fics. for myself. neither of them include cDream anyway.#and i still want to write a halloween and christmas fic i think. just to keep up my traditions.#but im really not ready to move on from all of this yet. i love this community too much to leave #god this is breaking my heart #obviously first priority is making sure tje victims get justice #but. im not going to write a sappy post abt what this community has meant to me bc it isnt past tense to me #im still here. if some of u need to leave i totally understand but #idk. ive been doomscrolling for so long just terrified at who will leave next.#if u are thinking of deactivating and see this please dont deactivate just leave your blog up and move. you shouldnt have to erase your art #analysis writing etc because Dream decided to do something disgusting.#tw vent #tw grooming #ok i need to stop vent posting im rlly sorry everyone.

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toastsnaffler · 9 months

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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/

#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man #i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks #and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig #even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them #like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it #hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders #for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee #the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want #me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too #its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh #we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its #kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way #im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily #cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction #its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things #for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a #want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them #and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent

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snobgoblin · 1 year

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is the "my mom was obsessed with teen pop stars and with tlc kids dancing shows so she was convinced i was going to be the next britney spears" thing common or was that just my mom. I feel like that was a whole thing

#also ps my dance teacher HATED me #when we would do shows she didnt let me have a dressing room (there were enough) she put me in the unisex bathroom instead #it was 1 stall that everyone had to share. so i did not get privacy when i was changing costumes #and there was pee on the floor. and it smelled bad. and there was no place to hang my costumes so they had to be on the floor #and some lady accused me of flashing her bc she walked in on me costume changing #the lock was broken and i had to change!!! sorry!!! shouldve knocked #anyway im not sure why she hated me. i think she caught on that i was shy and didnt wanna be there #but mannnn i couldnt help that my mom wanted me to do that shit #i feel like I've been going on a while so I'll go ahead and tag this #vent #anyway none of the other kids liked me either because i was weird and told them i was a witch #omg just like Lilo fr /hj #anyway i did not like my dance teacher she made me cry regularly.#she would purposly humiliate me regularly! and i. dont like thinking about it so im gonna stop now

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skyteglad · 1 year

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the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.

that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.

i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.

#riot.txt #personal #vent #sorry i'm just. really emotional and maybe a lil triggered #bc SO MUCH of my physical and mental health problems can be stemmed to my jaw #and my teeth.#bc i didn't get that surgery i can't swallow easily. i can't take medication i severely need. my back and neck are bent in ways i can't und #due to lack of breathing. i can't sit up straight bc i can't breathe and that's caused so much damage to me!#if they'd have pushed me into caring for my teeth and my body it would've saved me SO much heartache and pain. i'll have no way of knowing #how different life would be #but i know for a FACT i wouldn't have certain issues i have now... i'd be on mental health medication i wouldn't have chronic pain i'd be #able to function in society without feeling like a burden who'll never be able to get on social security #idk im jst... PLEASE iff you have the chance to have orthopedic work done - DO IT.#if your PARENTS are going to be footing the bill and have good insurance i PROMISE thats a fucking blessing #bc i can't work anymore and the surgery i need that might fix a lot of my life is in the tens of thousands without insurance that i cant bu #anyways sorry to ramble n trauma dump but its my blog and if ANYONE sees this and it helps them or convinces them to get work done while #they can then. idk. feels worth it to be vulnerable :'3 #EDIT: also like... if they'd forced me sure i'd be resentful #but ykw i am rn? even more resentful for the intense medical neglect that stemmed from 'well he doesn't want to so lets not make him'#most kids don't want to go to the doctor. maybe if they'd taken me regularily to a fucking doctor i'd have more answers for what's wrong wm #like... god i'd have hated braces then bc ofc i would i was a kid #but i hate even more now knowing just how fucking NEGLECTED i was as a kid bc they let me make my own choices by going the hands off approa #iunno. anyways. nah on that aita. you're allowed to be upset and resent him for it but GOD he is not an asshole for caring about you #'your body your choice' does not apply here at all. i'm so sorry to tell u this. fdkgfdhgkjdgd #EDIT 2: didn't even MENTION the fact i have dehibilitating chronic migraines and headache that i suspect are directly tied to my poor denta #health!! LIKE. AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK FOR THE ENTIRE DAY #SOMETIMES (OFTEN) MUTLIPLE TIMES A WEEK.#i only JST NOW got access to medicatio to help w it and i CAN'T. SWALLOW. THE MEDICATION THAT PREVENTS THE MIGRAINE FROM GETTING WORSE #I CAN ONLY SWALLOW THE DAILY MED... BC ITS _SO FUCKING TINY_.#aahghghfgdfhgdfjd -puts face in hands-

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dumbasses-in-a-trenchcoat · 1 year

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Sometimes social media really isn't a nice place. Obviously we all know that, but it can be nice to just seriously and unironically say it out loud sometimes.

#ignore me im just stressed and hormonal #and ive been scrolling on tiktok which hasnt been making it better #only partially bc of politics and stupid stuff and that #a lot of it is actually seeing people vent and talk about such horrible things and experiences they went through when they were younger #and either feeling horrible for that person or relating and remembering how exactly that felt #going through that exact same thing long ago #and just. i dunno #i just wish things didnt have to be so sad all the time #fuck im crying again #sorry the PMS has really been hittin with this one #anyways make sure to always take time away from social media n stuff #for your own good :)#that :) feels really menacing but i swear i mean it unironically #this got a tiny bit venty #vent in tags #slight vent in tags #dumbass dabbles #🍊

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girlhorse · 2 years

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truly been at my limit for a long time now and i dont know what to do anymore

#gab gabs #my jobs keep me too busy and tired to look for work but they dont pay me enough to live. like at all. I'm in debt and i cant get out #i cant move back in with my parents bc i think my step dad would make me more miserable tjan i am now..plus i cant afford the move anyway #im so fucking stupid for thinking i could do ok living here and working with dogs #i dont even feel like i can work full time rn because of my dog and i cant offload him onto my roommates or afford care for him #I'm just truly not sure what to do anymore and i know I'm not going to be able to afford my bills again this month lorl #sorry for venting on main i have pushed a lot of people away and i dont think they want ti help me anymore or hear from me becaue its the #same thing over and over again from me and they're probably tirwd of it bc i refuse to help myself #trying my best to do the graphkc design shit but if i cant afford to pay bills in the meantime what am i supposed yo do

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snowychicken · 1 year

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Turned in my lab exam and the professor just looked at me and went "long day?" Dude, you have no fucking idea

#god today has been a mess and im so ready for it to be over #mondays already suck bc i have two 3-hour lectures back to back in the morning and then lab at night #which is exhausting on its own #but it just hasnt been a good day mentally either. so now all the little problems of the day are the end of the world #and i had several of those in my first lecture of the day #completely broke down by 11 am #and then that goddamn exam #and its not even over. i still have a bunch of shit i need to do tonight. but fuck it im not doing anything until after dinner #whenever that is #anyway im sorry for the vent and im sorry bc im not sure if im even making any sense #im probably overthinking #but i needed to get this out somewhere #snowys talking again

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snekdood · 1 month

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man i wish i did have all this privilege everyone acts like I have for being a trans guy, my life would be way more chill. I wouldnt hafta worry about shit really

#see some nazi shit in my town? nah. doesnt matter. im a man after all ! doesnt effect me and totally never would !#seeing men being misogynistic or creepy to women? doesnt effect me emotionally anymore because im a man ! I have no feelings !#walking home alone at night? nah. doesnt matter. im a man! nevermind that im short and have long hair so I could easily be #mistaken as a woman especially at night and even if not- being short is something a motivated individual can use against me if #they want to- but it doesnt matter. im a man now! suddenly thats not a concern. suddenly this totally wouldnt happen. at all.#someone would approach me to try and see that im a man and go 'oh sorry sir my mistake I didn't realize it was a super special privileged #man please be on your way now'#many such cases #vent #gotta go to a gyno or some sort of doctor relating to my reproductive system? it'll all go perfectly smoothly and even better #now that im recognized as a man- surely there wont be any issues getting help now. it should be easier. im a man after all.#trying to find a place to belong socially? must be easy. im a man. disregard that im a man w poon for a second- that should surely never #play a role even if hanging out with cis men. they totally wont notice how I avoid the bathroom or locker rooms around them or ever #getting naked in front of them for any reason- its surely not just a matter of time till they find out and subsequentially start treating m #different. and nevermind trying to fit in in queer spaces im a man so i dont belong in them as you know.#and nevermind being friends with women either- im a man so naturally that totally means all i think about is fucking women and never #just being friends with them so thats not possible and women should never work on their assumptions about dudes ever bc assuming #im probably a creep-rapist by virtue of attempting to interact with them is fine and normal for them to do and I should expect it #and totally be okay with it and totally just shut off my emotions to feel nothing about it #which is again normal #esp as someone who's also been victimized by cis men and then being assumed to be like an abusive cis man is totally something thats #normal and shouldnt effect me at all it totally does not fuck with you to constantly be assumed to be like someone who abused you #especially when you know you're not like that but ppl assume anyways and its normal to assume and i just have to accept it ig #cool #love that privilege i have

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dandyshucks · 7 months

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starting to think maybe i should turn rbs off on that post actually bc im having heart palpitations now fdsjgjkl why is this happening to meeee

#vent //#me when the paranoia is Getting Bad fjkfdsjkl #its stemming from m.oral o.cd i think bc i am mainly worried abt more eyes on my blog and ppl seeing me frolic here #and the brain gophers have been insisting that i am doing smth horribly wrong and not realizing it #and the worry is that someone is going to see that and bypass talking to me abt it and go straight to making a callout post #and i will be sitting here with Zero Idea abt it #and continue hurting ppl by doing the Unknown Wrong Thing #but i also am not sure how that would happen bc i overthink literally Everything i post #if u see me put tags on smth that isn't just a simple ''ough'' or ''hehe yay!!'' i probably sat there for two mins making sure it was okay #running thru the words at every angle i can conceive of to ensure its not going to hurt somebody somehow fdsjkl #and this paranoia has been so bad the past few days. and when it gets bad then i get worried bc maybe i somehow have a guilty conscience #without even knowing !!! just subconsciously having a guilty conscience somehow !!#which ... only makes the paranoia worse fdsgjkl its a very bad vicious circle #anyways. i have been lowkey avoiding being here lately bc of this but i feel like avoidance just makes it worse #so . hrm. i just do not want to have more crying breakdowns bc i tried to figure out what on earth i could possibly be doing so wrong fsdjk #not exactly a fun way to spend time FDSJKL but ... what can ya do i guess #like i can't ask ppl ''hey am i doing smth wrong?'' bc thats. very vague. and subjective. and also i shouldnt rely on other ppl like that #but my brain is so goofed up that i genuinely cannot tell when i get like this sdjfkl bc i feel so sure i must be doing smth wrong somehow #so every tiny thing seems like maybe its wrong in a way i dont understand yet... ough #ANYWAYS SORRY THIS IS . NOT A GOOD POST TO MAKE. LOL. but i feel like this is the only way im going to bust myself out of this cycle #hopefully if i just Say that i've been really worried then if smth IS actually wrong someone will let me know #and if nothing is wrong then !! i can move on from this continual paranoia spiral !! maybe !!#i feel like me posting this is going to be a Wrong Immoral Move but fdsjkl rly trying to just. break out of it rn fsdjkl #dandyshucks

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