#anyway this person also pretended to be pregnant at least twice that i know of and one of the fathers was supposedly famous

[fingertipsmp3]

I think the weirdest lie I’ve been told by a pathological liar was when this friend I had in secondary school told us all she got kicked out of her house and was living in like a random shed and didn’t have access to a bathroom or electricity, and everyone was somehow believing her, and I was just looking at her like.. your hair is straightened, teeth brushed, you washed your face and you smell of soap

[slashnatic]

NSFW ALPHABET [Thomas Hewitt]

A = Aftercare (what they‘re like after sex)

First of all, Thomas needs a bit of guiding when it comes to romance. He isn‘t stupid, he isn‘t a retard, but he has not only never experienced this, but he also never had an actual interest in all of this.

The first time you’re having sex he‘s either going to lie around awkwardly afterwards or he‘s just going to leave and work on whatever has to be worked on. That is, unless you just cuddle up to him or tell him straight forward what you want. Whatever it is he‘ll do it for you. You need to clean up? No, he‘s not going to get something to wipe you clean. He‘s going to get you a blanket or really anything to cover your body, so he can carry you downstairs and give you a “shower“. Oh, just wiping it away would have been fine too? Well, he‘s definitely going to help you dry off anyway.

He also gets the hang of it pretty quickly. You wanted to cuddle afterwards with him the first time you had sex? You‘re going to cuddle after sex every time now! The next time you have sex you decide to go for round two? Well, looks like you‘re going to have two rounds all the time now, except you decide a third round would be nice one day. He basically just adapts whatever you do.

B = Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner‘s)

Thomas doesn’t actually have a favourite body part of himself, but he does like being tall and strong. In his mind it‘s really the only thing he was gifted with, the only thing that makes him useful. If there‘s one specific body part of his which you love he‘ll be proud or at least accepting of said body part though. He won’t start liking things about himself if he disliked them before just because there is someone who likes it now, but it helps him cope with it.

His favourite body part of yours are your thighs. If you‘re wearing pants, shorts, a dress, a skirt...they look good in everything in his opinion. He loves to grab your thighs to hold you in place when he takes you missionary-style too. He also loves how they look when you’re riding him. Watching you like that makes him go absolutely crazy.

He also likes your boobs a lot, for various reasons. The most important reason is probably that there‘s never been a girl who willingly showed him her breasts. He has a soft spot for when he‘s sitting down and you’re standing between his legs (you have to due to his height) and him kissing and squeezing your boobs, pinching, licking and sucking on your nipples. Bonus if you‘re pregnant. He may or may not has had a taste of your milk too.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically)

He likes to cum inside of you. It feels the best and while it scares him at first, knowing you might get pregnant makes it even better. When he‘s pulling out afterwards he also always watches his cum dripping out of you. It makes him proud. You let him do that. You let him fill you up with his semen. This means you‘re his. To him it‘s a way of claiming you.

The first time you suck him off and let him cum in your mouth he absolutely loses his mind. He doesn’t even understand what‘s so great about this, in fact he doesn‘t understand anything at all in that moment.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He‘d never admit it, but he‘s regularly stealing glances under your skirt if he gets the chance to. He also examined your underwear. He did both of it long before you two got together. There were (and still are) even days where he‘d actually plan this, as in he made it a part of his daily structure. To him it felt like you were way out of his reach and the moment he started to have those kind of feelings towards you he made a little plan how to cope with them. He longed for you, felt like he couldn‘t have you and therefore found some satisfaction in that. You’re helping Luda Mae in the kitchen today? He definitely walks by a few times and stands somewhere in the distance where he can watch you without getting caught. When you reach over the kitchen counter he observes the soft skin of yours, which only seconds ago was hidden by your clothes. If he sees you‘re reaching for something at the top of the shelf he‘ll come up behind you and gets it for you. He enjoys the feeling of your body so close to his, but won‘t go to far in fear of you noticing. He does get off to the thought of you too, but for the love of god won‘t admit it. He‘s ashamed of his actions, but he doesn‘t want to stop either.

E = Experience (how experienced they are)

Thomas is a virgin. He hasn‘t had any sexual experience. He has seen naked female bodies before, but they were dead. He also unintentionally witnessed the act of love before a few times. In conclusion: He knows were to put it. Other than that you‘ll have to teach him but don‘t worry, this boy is more than eager to learn and he learns fast. Whatever you explain to him he will listen, remember and try it out. He’s definitely unsure at first, almost shy, but as soon as he hears you making those sweet sounds he forgets about his insecurities and gets lost in whatever new skill you‘re teaching him. It‘s almost impossible to stop him from there on. Overall, he‘ll have a tough start, but will quickly get over that and whatever he‘ll do it‘ll be good and will only get better.

F = Favourite Position (their favourite position, could possibly include a visual)

His preferred position depends on how he‘s feeling at the moment, how his day has been and so on. Thomas likes missionary a lot. He can see your face and watch the expressions you make, that show him just how good you‘re feeling, all because of him. He can grab onto those thighs he loves so much too. Most importantly though he feels close to you. He‘s feeling your soft skin on his, he can even feel your breath if he leans in close enough, he can see every little facial expressions, he sees this look in your eyes...it‘s almost too much to handle. If you wrap your hands around his neck or grab onto his hair he‘s also going to faint. It‘ll take him a while to feel comfortable without the mask but knowing you look at him just the same, mask or not, means the world to him.

Missionary is his favourite position on normal days. If it��s been a particular rough day for him though he likes for you to be on top. He can both relax and enjoy himself. Watching you like this is also a big turn on for him. Thomas is a big, strong man and is used to being rough and in charge. It happens naturally and unintentionally most of the time. Having soft, lazy sex with you on top is just everything. It‘s so relaxing and calming and loving. He’ll be happy and balanced all the time during and afterwards too.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Thomas takes sex very seriously. The first time he is scared too, but he won‘t let you know in fear of ruining everything. If you‘re having sex there will be nothing else on his mind. He is very focused on you and your pleasure. If you mess with him a bit and he‘s having a good day he‘ll smile about it but no more. He‘s being vulnerable with and he want‘s you to be vulnerable with him too.

The more used he gets to having a relationship, the more relaxed he will be. You’ve been together long enough now, he knows you love him and he knows you take it seriously, so why not be a tease now too once in a while?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t actually ever shave. He knows some people do it, but he doesn’t care enough to do it himself. His hair isn‘t all too thick down there and it isn‘t too much either.

He doesn‘t shower a lot, twice a week at the most, sometimes he even goes a week or longer without showering. He‘s working a lot, the water isn‘t too clean either, so he doesn‘t see the point. He sweats quite a bit while working too, so it would probably be more enjoyable if you ask him to take a shower beforehand, but don‘t worry he‘ll happily comply if that‘s what you want.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? romantic aspect, etc.)

Besides his serious demeanor he‘s a big romantic too, but like with everything else he needs time to figure that out. Once he did though there‘ll be lots of kisses to wherever he can reach right now, he‘ll caress your skin, squeeze lightly whatever he can grab and he won‘t break eye contact. He observes every reaction you give him because to him it feels like he‘s even closer to you then. Of course he also wants to make sure you‘re alright.

He needs you to be romantic too. Just give him all the love you‘ve got, he craves it. He is giving you his all and he‘ll understand if you’re not a romantic person but it will hurt him and it will make him insecure. He might even distance himself, because he thinks that’s either how you want it to be or that it’s better for you. If you shower him with affection though he‘s on his knees for you, in whatever way you want him too be.

Jack/Jill Off (masturbation headcanon)

Jerking off is more of a special event in Thomas‘ life. He‘s working most of the time and doesn‘t have time for it. So he jerks off once a month at the most. As mentioned before he jerked off to the thought of you too, but it took him ages to give in to the desire and afterwards he‘s so ashamed it’ll probably take double the time for him to do it again. He probably avoided you at least a solid week afterwards too.

If he‘s giving in to said desire he is (unintentionally) filthy. He won‘t hold back anything. He‘ll moan, grunt, groan and even say your name while masturbating. He‘s most likely doing this in the basement so he‘ll cum all over the work bench, if he‘s in his room though he‘ll lay down on his bed and cum all over himself. He is ashamed afterwards, but during there‘s nothing that can stop him from finally getting lost in his imagination and pretending it was your hand instead of his.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Honestly Thomas just wants to be loved. He wants that affection. He has a praise kink, but is completely unaware of it. He loves when you tell him just how good he makes you feel, what a good job he‘s doing and if you call him a good boy he will nut in his pants right away. He‘s super confused about it too. Why does it feel so good to hear you say that? He loves it the most when you compliment him, not only his actions. Normally he doesn‘t actually believe you or at least doesn’t react to you telling him that he‘s handsome, but when you‘re so close to each other, when you’re being one, he doesn‘t care about how he feels about himself, what anyone else has said about him before or how unrealistic it is, that you find him physically appealing, at least in his eyes. He believes whatever you say and hearing you telling him that he‘s enough in whatever way just gets him going.

He does have a breeding kink too, but is unaware of that as well. He knows he likes cuming inside of you. He knows he likes what it portrays: That you‘re his, that you completely give yourself to him. He knows he wants a family with you, although he‘s scared (What if he can’t take care of his family properly? What if his child is scared of him? Or even worse, what if his child gets the same skin disease?). He doesn‘t understand why it turns him on but he knows it does and that‘s enough.

Other than that Thomas is actually more of a vanilla-type. Don‘t let that fool you though, sex with him is never boring.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

His favourite place to have sex with you is in his bed. This is his home and yours too, you are living here with him and he wants to make beautiful memories with you here too. There‘s also less of a chance of being disturbed than anywhere else. While Hoyt comes down to the basement sometimes, he never goes to Thomas‘ room and the other family members won‘t either. If they do they‘ll definitely make sure he (or you) knows that they‘re coming in. He also loves how domestic it is.

You definitely had sex in the basement anyway and he enjoyed that as well, but sex in the basement is always rougher than usual and also more rushed. Having sex in his bedroom is still his favourite.

He also likes having sex with you outdoors. Somewhere in nature. You‘re alone but free and this feeling of freedom makes it all so much better.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Love, affection, admiration, your attention alone...bending over in front of him... When you’re being so nice and lovely to him he just wants to make babies. Period. But sexual gestures and teasing never go unnoticed either and he enjoys that too.

N = NO (something they wouldn‘t do, turn offs)

Anything that makes him feel unappreciated. No name-calling, harassment or humiliation of any form. This is traumatic for him and he‘ll panic, be sad and angry. He wouldn‘t do any of that to you either, even if you want him too. He wants you to be satisfied, but this is a no-go.

If he sees you getting along with another man a bit too well for his liking he‘s probably also going to be pissed and won‘t touch you for a while. He‘s quite jealous, but doesn‘t know what to do about this feeling. He knows it‘s not you‘re fault, but he is scared that you‘ll go for a better looking or smarter man than him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This is a tricky subject. In his mind he‘s all about eating you out. He thinks about your taste, your smell and the sounds you make when he goes down on you while jacking off too. Getting him to the point where he actually does it is hard work though. It isn‘t even that he‘s scared you won‘t like it and he definitely isn‘t disgusted by it either, but he is disgusted by himself. He‘s disgusted by what‘s hidden under his mask and letting you see him like that is scary to him. Pressing that between your beautiful thighs is even scarier. He‘s afraid of your reaction and just wants to hide and angry-cry, so take your time. Once you get him to the point that he believes you that you’re not disgusted by him it becomes a must. He takes literal hours to eat you out and he enjoys every second of it. He‘s very eager the whole time, enjoying that he can make you make those sounds, enjoying your taste...really everything. He also always grabs your thighs while eating you out.

If you go down on him be prepared for a lot of enthusiasm coming from him. He doesn‘t mean to be that rough, he doesn’t mean to fuck your pretty mouth, but god it feels so good. He‘s also probably going to thank you after. He doesn‘t take it for granted, it‘s actually a very special thing to him. You’re willing to do things like that just because you want him to feel good. He is ecstatic.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He is rather slow and definitely very caring and loving but also unintentionally rough. He is very strong and doesn‘t always know how to handle his strength. He doesn‘t want to be that rough but he gets lost in the moment pretty quickly and once he does he forgets about everything. He just does what feels right and not being rough is more of an effort to him. He never hurts you though, he is still very careful.

He likes slow sex, fast sex, gentle sex, a bit rougher sex, but his favourite is lazy sex. Hours of gentle loving you say? You bet your ass he‘s more than down for it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Thomas isn‘t the biggest fan of quickies. He‘s a very committed and passionate lover and quickies are neither, at least in his opinion. Changing his mind isn‘t too hard though. Coming down to the basement and telling him directly what you want or giving subtle hints, either way he‘ll give in at some point. If you decide to drop hints rather than being clear about it you don’t have to worry. At the beginning of your relationship he probably won‘t get it, but once he gets to know this side of you too, he‘ll catch on to it quickly. He is very observant and basically studies you to learn what you‘re behavior means. Maybe one day you’re lucky and have him inviting you for some quick fun too, but if so you shouldn’t get used to it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Thomas doesn‘t like to risk anything with you. He doesn‘t want to hurt you. If you‘re able to assure him that you really want him to do whatever you want him to do, he will do it, but if it includes harming you in any way it will take him a while.

He likes to experiment, he‘s a very curious man. He isn‘t disgusted by anything either. Whatever body fluids, toys or other kinky stuff is involved he‘ll happily try it out and gain some new experience with you, as long as neither of you get‘s seriously physically or emotionally harmed during.

S = Stamina (how many rounds they can go for, how long they last...)

Big. Strong. Man. He can go as long as you want him to, really. If it‘s just one round lasting hours or many rounds lasting hours it doesn‘t matter. Once you‘ve declared the end though he immediately gets tired. He never realizes while you’re at it, but afterwards he‘s pretty worn out.

T = Toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Thomas doesn‘t own any toys himself and is most likely confused if you do. Why? He’s got his dick, his hands and his tongue. Isn’t that just fine? If you explain it to him he‘ll want to try it. He‘s curious. He might actually starts to like using toys on you or you using toys on him but he‘ll always prefer the old fashioned way.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

In the beginning of your relationship he never teases you, at least not intentionally. During sex he‘s too serious and outside of the bedroom he‘s never considered it. If you tease him he’ll be confused at first and probably a little hurt too. You can either explain it to him or wait for him to realize what you‘re doing since he‘ll catch on on some point anyway. He won‘t like it at first, but will get used to it and join in too. Thomas is actually quite sassy when he‘s comfortable enough to be himself and will start to enjoy teasing you. You might catch him grinning about your reaction to it as well.

His teasing mostly consists of tender but slightly sexual touches and flexing his muscles in front of you. He is muscular and he knows it. He never actually cared too much about it until he realized that you seem to find it very attractive, so he really enjoys making you flustered using only his body. It boosts his ego too, feeling your longing and needy glances whenever he‘s putting on a show for you. The resulting sex is great and he’s actually confident during, but afterwards he gets shy again and is also a bit embarrassed by his behavior.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

No matter how shy Thomas is, he never makes an effort to be silent. The sounds he makes are rather animalistic as well. He‘ll groan, grunt and growl. The second you switch positions and you are on top he becomes a complete mess. Same amount of groans, grunts and growls, but he’ll whimper too. His moans are just as deep but softer, almost helpless. When making love he lets himself go completely. He doesn’t hold back anything and is throughoutly himself. No matter how vulnerable and soft he shows himself, it doesn‘t matter to him. He trusts you, let‘s himself enjoy the loss of control and shows you verbally as well as he can.

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon/imagine for the character of your choice)

The softness of your skin was a miracle to Thomas. Just as the softness of your hair, the glimmer in your eyes which only he got to see after your passionate love making, how you smelled, how you tasted...everything about you. He loved everything about you. And he loved how you loved him. You were currently sneaking into the kitchen to get the both of you something to drink, but his mind was still occupied by your recent actions. Today you didn‘t care that he was sweaty and covered in dirt and god-knows-whatelse. You had told him you wanted to love him. Now. You had told him how much you longed for him, that you had been thinking about your handsome lover the whole day and that you couldn‘t wait any longer to show him how much you had missed him. And you had shown him. You had kissed every scar on his body, from fights he‘s fought or resulting from his skin condition, you hadn‘t been picky. You never were. You loved him no matter what. You had given your all to pleasure him and so did he. When you came back with some tea, which was already cold but you doubted Thomas would care, his focus was on you immediately. And once again you embraced each other, shared your body heat and love until you peacefully drifted off to a sweet slumber.

X = X-Ray (let‘s see what‘s going on under those clothes)

Once again, Thomas is a big, strong man. He is equipped just as you‘d think he is, if not bigger. He is way above average in both length and girth. So much that it will probably hurt not only the first time, but almost everytime. Just take your time to adjust and you‘ll be fine though. Thomas has also absolutely no problem helping you stretch first. He‘ll do whatever he can to make it the most pleasurable it can be for you. If that means you have to do an hour warm up: No problem!

Y = Yearning (how high their sex drive is)

Thomas keeps his mind off things through working. This works out for him pretty well too, so if he‘s busy making sure the family has something too eat he mostly isn‘t going to get distracted by any not-so-christian thoughts. If he isn‘t working though he‘ll devote all his time to you and then he gets distracted very easily, very fast.

Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has to he can go back to work after you‘re done, but he prefers not to. He‘s also quite sleepy afterwards, but won‘t actually fall asleep for a while. He looks and acts almost like a tired puppy. If you scratch his head or back he‘s also dozing off within seconds.

[libsterslobsters]

What Is And What Should Never Be Pt 4

Summary: After what was supposed to be a week-long mission (but stretched on for over a month), during which she found out more about their "little stranger", the reader is more than happy to welcome Bucky home.

Also, I suck at summaries.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem! enhanced! Super-soldier Reader

(Reader can see pieces of the future in visions as well as speak every language)

Warnings: Language, pregnancy, smut, fluff

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Series masterlist

--------------------------‐----------

“They should be calling me back soon.”

 It’s not the ideal way of communicating with your husband while you’re waiting impatiently for  an ultrasound in your OB-GYN’s office, but texting is all she has, so it’ll have to do. A week long mission has stretched into four and a half weeks, and although they can’t share phone calls (anyone could be listening in), texting has received the all-clear. She’s grateful that, for the sake of this doctor’s appointment, it’s nighttime in his part of the world, so he’s tucked safely away and can at least somewhat experience this with her.

 “I’m gonna give these guys hell for making me miss the chance to spy on our girl.” She chuckles at the message on her screen before typing back her own.

 “What are you going to do if it turns out we’re having a boy?” Since the day she told him she was pregnant, Bucky’s  been convinced this baby is a girl, but they don’t know for sure. Despite trying her best to concentrate on anything her visions can tell her, she’s come up blank. For all they know, the “little miss” they’ve been talking to for the past few months is really a little mister.

 “Teach him how to treat a lady instead of teaching her how to throw a punch.” She snickers. It’s a good response. Still-

 “You do realize she’s the child of two super soldiers. She could have the worst right hook in the world, and the other person would still walk away with a black eye.”

 “Barnes?” That jerks her attention away from her phone. The nurse is standing just outside the waiting area, eyes searching the room. On instinct, she glances around her, making sure no one has reacted to her last name. She’s not the most recognizable of the Avengers, but still, she’d rather not have the world know she visited the obstetrician today. If anyone has put two and two together, they’re doing a good job of hiding it so, readjusting her shirt in an attempt to hide her bump, she stands and follows the nurse out of the room.

 For what feels like the millionth time, she gives her full name and date of birth. The nurse’s eyes widen in recognition, but other than that, she keeps it professional.

 “Just wait in here, hon. Someone will be right with you, okay?”

 “Thank you.”

 The ultrasound room is small, barely more than a broom closet, but at least she’s away from prying eyes. So, she hops up on the table in preparation and takes advantage of the time alone to read the latest message.

 “It’s still a valuable life skill. If she takes after her Mom, she’ll be a looker. I want her to be able to make people think twice before they forget their manners around her.” The message brings a smile to her face, but also makes tears prick at her vision.

 “I wish you were here.” As quickly as she types the sentence, she erases it. He’s simply not able to be here, and that’s all there is to it. No need to make him feel bad about something he’s already beating himself up over.

 The door opens, this time revealing the same ultrasound tech she met at her first appointment. There’s another round of name and date of birth, then settling onto her stool next to the machine, the tech asks,

 “Did you want to know the gender if we’re able to tell today?” When they discussed it, she spent a solid fifteen minutes convincing Bucky that yes, this is a thing they can tell just from those black and white pictures, no she’s not pulling a prank on him, they can find out if they’re having a boy or a girl before the baby’s born. Ultimately they decided-

 “Yes.”

 It’s only the second time she’s been in this position, so everything is still relatively new. A warning about the gel being cold, the pressure of the ultrasound wand against her, and then the screen coming to life. This time around, the baby actually looks more like a baby instead of a blob, and as she watches, she sees a hand go up.

 “You’re feeling movements at this point, right?” She nods. “Good.”

 Starting at the head that still looks far too large, they work their way down the body, different images being captured over every organ. Then-

 “Are you ready to find out if you’ve got a little boy or a little girl in there?”

 She pulls up her phone and rapidly types, “About to find out he or she.” then answers.

 “Yes.”

 There’s a momentary pause, then-

 “Congratulations. Looks like you have a little girl.” This time there’s no stopping it. The tears spill over.

 “Sorry.” She swipes at her cheeks. The tech offers her a sympathetic smile and offers her a few tissues, which she readily accepts.

 The scan goes on for a few more minutes, picture after picture being filed away. Finally, the wand is removed and the tech informs her,

 “I’ll have to confirm with the doctor, but everything looks good. Did you want some pictures to take with you?”

 “Yes, thank you. That would be great.”

 The machine spits out a few images which are torn off and handed to her.

 “I’ll give you some privacy to get cleaned up. Someone will be with you shortly to take you to an exam room, okay?”

 “Thanks.”

 The tech stands and starts towards the door. Hesitating just outside it, she turns.

 “By the way, I couldn’t help but recognize the name on the file.” Oh. Here it goes. “I just wanted to say we really appreciate all you’ve done. The other Avengers too. My little girl loves to pretend that she’s the Soothsayer and runs around telling me, “Mom, I had a vision.” “

 She laughs, a mental picture forming in her mind of a smaller version of the woman in front of her wearing a Halloween costume version of the Soothsayer uniform.

 “That’s good to hear. I’ll pass the word along to the team.”

 The tech disappears down the hall and she cleans herself up. Holding up the clearest ultrasound image, she snaps a picture and attaching it, texts, “It’s a girl.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

 He’s been staring at his phone for the better part of the last four hours but still, Bucky can’t bear to look away. The picture isn’t the best, a little blurry around the edges, but it still has his full attention. That, and the text attached: “It’s a girl.”

 “That thing’s gonna die on you if you don’t put it away soon.” He chuckles in response to Sam’s words.

 “We’re only half an hour out. Somehow, I think I’ll make it.”

 “What’re you staring at anyway?” He hesitates for a moment. Sam knows their big secret, as does Wanda, but so far no one else has caught on. Is it okay for him to share this? His gut tells him that it is, so he holds up his phone, careful to tip the screen so that only Sam can see it.

 “Oh.” Immediate recognition blooms on his partner’s face. “That a recent one?”

 “Yesterday.”

 Not looking away, Sam continues.

 “You know, I sorta thought you were joking before, trying to throw me off what’s really going on, but I guess it’s true.” His eyes narrow, and it’s obvious when he reads the text on the bottom. “A girl?”

 Bucky couldn’t hold back his smile if he tried.

 “A girl.” He would’ve been okay if his hunch turned out to be wrong, but now that he knows for sure that they have a daughter on the way, he’s excited. Excited… and terrified.

 “Damn.” Sam chuckles. “It’s too bad you got rid of the long seventies hair. She could’ve put flowers in it when you play tea party with her.” He snickers. If this baby, his daughter, does indeed want him to have a tea party with her in a few years’ time, he’ll do it, and do it gladly. Hell, he’ll even wear a feather boa and funny hat if that’s what she wants. The world may think that his job is to be an Avenger, but he knows that his real job is at home, taking care of his two girls.

 Eventually the never-ending flight home does indeed end and, after bidding Sam and the rest of their squad goodbye, he climbs into his car and starts the engine. He thinks about shooting her a text letting her know he’s on his way, but the clock on the dash reads four a.m., and he decides it’s best to let her sleep. She’ll more than likely wake up when he crawls into bed next to her anyway since she’s such a light sleeper.

 As the miles pass, his weariness from the mission fades with them, quickly replaced with anticipation. During the war, when his buddies would hang onto the hope of receiving a letter from their sweethearts or wives and once the letter did arrive, keep it close to them, often inside their jacket pressed close against their hearts, he didn’t get it. Sure, there were people at home he missed, and even a few girls he’d had dates with who sent the occasional note, but these guys were so attached to that scrap of paper and the words scrawled across it that they’d read so often, they could recite them at the drop of a hat, and that it just didn’t make sense to him. Well, now it does. Instead of letters, he has texts and voicemails, a few pictures taken over the years of them together (or the occasional snapshot he’s sneaked when she wasn’t paying attention because really, it would be a crime not to capture how perfect she looked right then for all eternity), and most recently, the image of his unborn daughter. Whatever he’s had to do that day, whatever is weighing him down, he knows that it’s all for them, and that makes the load seem bearable.

 Finally, he pulls into his driveway. Killing the engine, he climbs out, leaving his duffle bag full of dirty (and smelly) clothes to be dealt with tomorrow. Right now, he’s on a mission; infiltrate the house quietly, shower covertly, and then crawl into bed with his two girls.

 Parts one and two of his plan go easily enough. He removes his shoes at the door to decrease the chances that she’ll hear his footsteps and takes the stairs agonizingly slowly. The guest bathroom is missing a few key items (like razors; god, he needs a shave), but it has soap and shampoo, so he’s able to shower. The one key element he forgot about is that he doesn’t have any clothes located in this part of the house but, as he tiptoes into their bedroom, he realizes he’s in luck. The closet door is open and- he stifles a chuckle- a pair of his pajamas is laid out on his side of the bed. Looks like she had a vision that he’d be coming home tonight. At least she didn’t wait up.

 After tugging on the bottoms (he disregards the shirt; somehow, they always end up migrating towards the center of the bed, and with her so close to him, he’ll be more than warm enough), he pulls back the covers and eases into bed. Sure enough, she immediately snuggles closer, pressing her back against his chest. He’s not sure if she’s awake until-

 “Welcome home, stranger.” Her voice is rough with sleep, but he can still hear the smile in it.

 “Thanks, Doll. It’s good to be back.” He readjusts his flesh arm to wrap around her waist, his hand instinctively falling to caress the swell of her middle (much larger now than it was four weeks ago), and he’s just about to close his eyes in hopes of getting a few winks when he feels it.

 At first, he thinks he’s imagining things it’s so soft, but then it happens again. A nudge against his palm, harder this time. It takes a moment for him to realize what’s happening, and when he does, he can’t help the shaky breath he exhales against her neck.

 “You okay?” He means to reassure her that he’s fine, but instead what comes out is-

 “She’s moving.” As if in response, he receives another kick.

 “Yeah. She’s saying hello to her dad.” He knew that she was feeling the baby move thanks to a text sent two weeks back, but this is the first time he’s been able to feel it himself. And it’s… unbelievable.

 “Does it hurt you at all, sweetheart? Is it uncomfortable?” She chuckles softly.

 “No, it doesn’t hurt. The only time it’s uncomfortable is if she gets my kidneys, or if I’m trying to sleep.” Which is what she should be doing now.

 Without thinking, he sits up and, leaning over so that his cheek is pressed against the bump, he murmurs,

 “Hey, little miss. This is your Dad. I can’t wait to meet you.” Her hand comes down to cart through his still-damp hair. “Tomorrow, we’ll talk again and you can kick me some more, but right now you need to calm down so your Mom can get some rest. She’s got a big job, looking after me and growing you all at the same time. So why don’t you settle back in and go to sleep, and me and Mom will try to do that too?” He receives one more kick for his efforts and then… stillness.

 “I’m never going to hear the end of this am I? How she already listens to you?”

 He chuckles and eases back down on the bed, pulling her against him once more.

 “Never.”

___________________________________________________________________________________

 “… Mom told me to run, and then took off. Didn’t know if she was crazy or an enemy agent or what, so I ran after her.” The words are barely above a whisper, so quiet that she wonders if she’s still dreaming. However, a stirring in her middle settles the matter. She’s awake. This is real.

 “I know. Looking back on it, I probably didn’t make the best first impression, but cut me some slack. It’s not every day the woman you just walked into thirty seconds ago tells you there’s an ambush waiting for you on the next street up. And you should be glad I chased her down. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.” Is he-

 “Not that I’d recommend going up to strange men and saving their lives, Little Miss. It’s a good way for someone to get hurt. Probably not you if Banner’s right about the serum being passed down from parent to child, but still. Not a smart idea.” Yes, it’s exactly what she thought. He’s talking to the baby. “Of course, if anyone so much as looks at you the wrong way, I’ll kick their ass. Or Mom will. One of us. The other one will stage the scene so it looks like an accident. And, that’s probably something I shouldn’t be telling you on the off chance you’re hearing any of this.”

 “She has ears now.” Her voice is hoarse from disuse, and she grimaces at the sound of it. “Week eighteen’s when they start to work. She can hear us.”

 Blue eyes peer up at her, startled, before melting into the familiar, soft expression he usually wears around her. “Hey, Doll. Did I wake you up?”

 Shaking her head, she reaches out, covering his metal hand still resting on her middle, with her own. “No. She did.” As if in reply, there’s a bump against their palms, and a smile spreads across his face.

 “Yeah. I felt her kicking when I woke up, so I thought I’d try to calm her down for you. Looks like it did just the opposite.”

 “No, you succeeded.” With a yawn, she stretches. “Usually she’s ready to rumble at six a.m. This is an improvement.”

 A mock frown crosses Bucky’s face. “Now listen here, Little Miss. There’s a limited amount of driving your mom crazy that can happen in a twenty-four hour period, and since I’ve known her longer, I’ve got seniority. You’re gonna have to dial it back by an hour, thirty minutes at least in the mornings. It’s not a smart idea to piss off your landlady.” Apparently, their little one doesn’t agree. His eyes go wide at the sudden, strong movement. “What-”

 “She rolled over.” And, that brilliant, genuinely happy smile is back

 “That’s…” He searches for the right word. “...amazing.” It is, but if she focuses on it, she’ll start tearing up, and now’s not the time for a hormone-fueled crying jag.

 “She’s usually active in the morning. Settles down after breakfast.”

 He chuckles. “Is that your way of saying you’d like me to get you something to eat?”  Oh, that sounds good. She has some fresh fruit in the refrigerator, but there’s also mint chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer, and then there’s ramen noodles, which she kind of wants to eat raw for some reason… but no.

 “I’ve got it.” She starts to sit up, but doesn’t get very far before he’s easing her back down.

 “No you don’t. I’m home now, so I can get back to my real job.” Pecking her forehead, he stands. “Taking care of my girls.”

 “Get back here.” It comes out more petulant than she meant it to, which is probably why he pauses just outside the doorway and turns back around to look at her. He didn’t bother with a shirt last night, did he? And those sweatpants… she shakes her head to clear it. “You need your rest.”

 He raises an eyebrow. “I think that’s my line, Doll.”

 How many days worth of scruff is that, she wonders. The last time he’d let it grow out that long was when they were on that mission in Siberia. It was cold as fuck, and even with their enhancements making them more resilient to the weather, when they finally got back to their hotel room that night, they were nearly frozen solid. The heat wasn’t doing a great job, and so the only logical way to stay warm was to completely undress and lie as close as humanly possible in bed under all the blankets they could get their hands on. Of course, naked cuddling usually leads to naked making out, which lead to what is now a very vivid memory of exactly how that stubble felt between her thighs-

 “Which one of us is growing a human right now?” The question snaps her out of her lecherous daydreams. The hormones. That has to be what’s causing this sudden boost in libido.

 Clearing her throat, she shoots back, “Which one of us just spent a month getting shot at?” A month. It’s been a whole month since the last time they did anything in this bed other than sleep. She’s fully capable of getting off by herself, but her fingers are a poor replacement for-

 “Forget it, solnyshka. You’re not gonna win this one. You’re staying in bed. That’s final.” She’d have something to say about him telling her what to do, but that commanding voice… it’s probably best that she stay in bed. At this point, she’s not sure her legs would hold her up.

 “Fine.” It comes out shaky, but it doesn’t appear that he notices.

 “Anything in particular you want?” Yeah, she can think of a few things. “Are you still having food aversions-” Oh. He’s talking about food. “-or has that cleared up?”

 Grabbing hold of her last shred of sanity, she gasps out, “Anything’s fine.”

 He smirks. “Great. Sauerkraut and pickled pig’s feet it is.”

 She’s not sure if she manages a laugh, too busy staring as he walks away. Dammit. She needs to take a few deep breaths, get a hold of herself. With a frustrated groan, she pushes back the covers and climbs out of bed. She needs to splash some cold water on her face. Oh, and pee. She’s constantly peeing.

 The vision hits her just as she’s dabbing her face with a hand towel. He’s leaning over the stove, cooking… are those pancakes? It’s domestic and sweet and infuriatingly, it riles her up even more. Muttering curses in several languages under her breath, she returns to bed and pulls the covers over her head. Maybe if she concentrates on her slight annoyance that he’s cooking shirtless, which is a damn good way to get yourself burned (of course, they heal fast, so it’s not a huge concern), it’ll help her ignore the ache between her thighs.

 Fifteen minutes later when she hears his footsteps on the stairs, she feels like she’s about to spontaneously combust. With a huff, she sits up and attempts to appear normal. As soon as the door opens, she knows it’s a lost cause.

 “Here you go. Pancakes, bacon, and tea.” Setting the tray on the nightstand, he climbs back in bed next to her.

 “Thanks.” It’s nothing out of the ordinary, him leaning towards her, cradling the back of her head with one hand as he kisses her. It’s not unusual for her to wrap her arms around him, nearly pulling him on top of her as she probes his lips with her tongue, begging for entrance. It’s not even odd for the kiss to go from innocent to filthy, his teeth teasing her bottom lip, making her gasp and tug at his hair. What is odd is that, with a chuckle, he pulls away.

 “You’d better eat before it goes cold.”

 Smirking, she hooks the chain holding his dog tags (and his wedding ring, still hidden safely from his mission) around her finger and gives a tug. “You know, there’s this amazing new device called a microwave…”

 His lips curl up into a knowing smirk. “Oh, so that’s what you’re after, huh?”  She feels heat rise to her cheeks as she nods. Luckily, she doesn’t have long to feel embarrassed before his lips are on hers once more.

 She can’t contain her gasp as he pushes aside her panties, fingers trailing over her heat. “Sweetheart, you’re drenched.” A moan escapes her as the tip of one cool, metal finger enters her. “Why didn’t you tell me you needed this earlier? I’d be more than happy to help you out.”  His palm grinds against her clit as, slowly, he begins to thrust his fingers into her.

 Her hand clamps down on his wrist. “Fuck! Bucky-”

 He shushes her, lips trailing wet kisses across her jaw. “Just relax. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

 That’s all well and good, but as he eases a second finger into her, the thin, cotton tshirt that’s covering her upper half feels far too restraining. “Please-” She gasps out. “-don’t tease.”

 “I’m not.” A peck to her nose. “I’m not teasing you.”

 “Yes you-” A shudder passes through her as his fingers nudge against her g-spot. “-you are.”

 A sigh fans over her exposed collar bone. “I don’t want to hurt you, Doll.”

 Gathering all her willpower, she tugs his head down to her level. “James Buchanan Barnes, I am not made of glass. If you don’t get inside of me right now-” A particularly well-aimed thrust of his fingers makes her gasp.

 “Alright.” She suppresses a whimper at the sudden emptiness. “How do you want it?”

 Her gut screams to tell him, “Anything! Just get on with it!” but a lazy movement in her middle jogs her memory. She can’t comfortably be on her back at this point, and it’s been a month, so she wants to see him…

 “I could ride you.” His eyes turn a shade darker at her words, pupils blown with lust.

 “Well, I’m not gonna say no to that.”

 She’s briefly apprehensive as, after kicking off his bottoms, he eases the t-shirt from her body. She looks a lot different than the last time they did this. What if he doesn’t like-

 “Fuck.” His bottom lip slips between his teeth. “Yeah, you’re definitely on top so I can look at you.”  And just like that, any residual fear melts away and she can’t push the final offending garment from her body fast enough.

 Once he’s resting propped up against the headboard, she takes him in her hand, making him hiss, and slowly, carefully, settles on top of him.

 “Oh, fuck.” She’s not sure which one of them moans, too overwhelmed by the sensation of once again, having him inside of her. Finally. Getting used to the feeling, she circles her hips.

 “Shit.” At any other time, she’d make a joke about how desperate he sounds, but right now… grasping his shoulders for leverage, she gives an experimental rock against him… she’s beyond teasing.

 In the beginning, she sets an easy pace, but with one of his hands grasping her hips, the other one trailing over her middle towards her breasts to tease at the swollen flesh, it doesn’t take long until she’s completely lost, moving against him like her life depends on it.

 “That’s it. Take what you need.” She’s not sure if it’s the words or his thump passing over one sensitive nipple that drives her over the edge, but before she can so much as utter a warning, her orgasm crashes over her.

 When she opens her eyes, she realizes that he’s staring at her, awestruck. “That’s the first time you’ve been able to cum without-” Oh. She didn’t realize, but neither of them have so much as brushed a thumb against her clit. Her surprise must show on her face, because he grins. “Oh, we’re definitely gonna have fun with this.”

 After that, she loses count of how many times she hits her peak, too lost in the feeling of their bodies moving together. One of the advantages of the serum is that they both have incredible endurance, but this is different. It’s something primal, a need she didn’t realize she had being met. Finally, after coming down once again, she wilts against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

 “Tired, solnyshka?” She nods, not lifting her head. His chest rumbles with a quiet chuckle, one she doesn’t have time to understand before she’s being lifted off of his cock and placed gently on her side. A whine escapes her at the momentary loss of contact. “Don’t worry, Doll. I’m not going anywhere.” His body curled around her, he eases back into her, making her hum contentedly.

 After doing all the work so far, she can’t help but think to herself that it’s nice to just lay back and let him take her, his hips snapping against hers as his cock nudges against her g-spot.

 “Do you think you’ve got one more for me, Doll?” His voice is gruff with effort. He’s close, she can tell.

 No sooner has she murmured a quiet “yes” than his hand is between her thighs, fingers toying with the bundle of nerves. Her walls contract, and with a strangled cry, he follows her over the edge.

 It takes a few minutes for her to come back to herself, for the murmured words of approval and “I love you”s to have any meaning, but eventually she does recover and, offering him a lazy smile, she whispers, “Welcome home, Barnes.”

[365days365movies]

April 10, 2021: The Graduate (1967) (Recap: Part One)

Some Like it Hot got Oscar-stiffed. So did this film!

This film got seven nominations at the 1968 Oscars, and took home Best Director and NOTHING else. It was nominated for Best Picture, Actor, Actress, Supporting Actress, Adapted Screenplay, and Cinematography, and got NONE of them. Hot damn! That surprises me, because this film is RIDICULOUSLY iconic.

I mean, hell, The Simpsons has homaged it at least twice, which I know from the above GIF and the following GIF. And in that one, the teacher in the background is Dustin Hoffman, HOMAGING HIMSELF

There’s been a stage adaptation, AFI called it the 17th best movie of all time in 2007, while also putting it on 5 other lists, and but it on the Movie Quotes list TWICE! Leonard Maltin’s seen it before he dies, the Library of Congress has it in their collection, and it launched Dustin Hoffman’s career into the goddamn atmosphere!  And that’s not even mentioning the one thing I’m looking forward to the most:

The music.

Look, I’m not exactly a big music nerd, by ANY means. I’ve heard songs, but can rarely identify the band or person playing them. I was in an acapella group, a steel band, and chamber orchestra, so I’m no foreigner to music. I’m just...not a big music nerd. But I DO know Simon and Garfunkel, and the more I hear of them, the more I like them.

Scarborough Fair/Canticle, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Mrs. Robinson, Cecilia, I Am a Rock, ALL of them are good classic folk rock songs that are easy to remember. AND I KNOW IT’S LAME TO LIKE FOLK ROCK I DO NOT CARE SUE ME IF YOU MUST. Oh, and I didn’t even mention the most famous of their songs, whose fame was aided by this film’s success. But, uh...I’ll hold onto it for now.

In fact, for now, let’s just jump into the film in and of itself! The Graduate is a classic, and it’s been on my list for a while. It’s more of a romantic comedy, but it’s primarily a comedy (from my understanding), so it’s fitting that I throw it in here. Let’s go!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We start on a plane as it lands, joining Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman), as he leaves the plane and walks through the airport. We also start right away with a BANGER, and the most iconic song on this film’s soundtrack: The Sound of Silence.

Classic. CLASSIC! One of their best! Not my favorite, but one of their best for sure! But OK, after that, we get to know Benjamin a bit more. He’s a recent college graduate and in a state of melancholy, not quite knowing what to do or how to feel about his new situation. This is to the confusion of his father, Mr. Braddock (William Daniels) and his mother, Mrs. Braddock (Elizabeth Wilson).

Urged to attend the party in his honor, he reluctantly goes downstairs, where he’s absolutely accosted (nearly assaulted) by all of his parents’ friends. One of these friends, Mr. Maguire (Walter Brooke), somewhat awkwardly pulls him to the side, and brings him out side. He wants to say one word to him. Just one word.

After that...interaction, Ben takes the opportunity to escape, as all of his accomplishments are being read out loud to the throngs. And I have to say, you can feel just how overwhelming all of this is for him. It’s a palpable anxiety. He goes back to his room to get away from everybody and just look at his fish tank. Just a celebration of the introvert’s experience right here, and I can dig it.

But this private reverie is interrupted by the barging in of one Mrs. Robinson (Katharine Ross), who pretends to have mistaken his room for the bathroom, but sits down and smokes anyway, despite his protests. She asks what making him upset, and notes that’s it’s more of a general feeling than a specific one. She understands and readies herself to leave, but not before asking him to give her a ride home. He reluctantly accepts, and takes her home. She invites him in through some subtle manipulation and...well, you know where this is headed.

An absolutely classic line and classic exchange, and I’m kind of surprised that it happens this soon into the movie, to be honest! She denies the accusation...kind of, and he asks her apology. But she brushes it off, and asks if he’d like to see the portrait of her daughter Elaine, which he’s quite enthusiastic about. But while there, in her room, things continue to get awkward as she basically undresses in front of him.

Mrs. Robinson continues to deny that she’s trying to seduce him, but it’s all basically gaslighting to get him to admit that he wants to be seduced. Damn, Mrs. Robinson, what the fuck? And it’s actually made WAY FUCKING WORSE when she tricks him into getting into a sealed room, where she traps him and tells him that she’s interested in sleeping with him, whenever he wants to. Ben is OBVIOUSLY frazzled as fuck, especially considering the basically near-rape situation he’s currently in.

Thankfully (maybe), the sound of Mr. Robinson’s car pulling up allows enough distraction (and adrenaline rush) for Ben to GET THE FUCK OUT of there, and he runs into Mr. Robinson (Murray Hamilton) in the process. Noticing how frazzled he seems to be, Mr. Robinson tells Ben to relax in his youth, and having a few flings with the ladies while he can. He brushes off all of this, and gets out as soon as he can.

Soon after, summer begins, and not really in Ben’s favor. He’s used again as a prop for his parents and their friends, as his father got him a SCUBA suit that he demonstrates in their pool, despite his protests and wish to be heard. And people...people don’t listen to Ben, huh? I genuinely feel bad for the kid, because it really does seem like nobody attempts to listen to what he wants for how he feels, his parents included. But he seems to get the solitude he’s been seeking as he sits beneath the pool. But that’s overlaid with the realization that Ben actually WAS seduced by Mrs. Robinson, and he gives her a call to meet soon afterwards.

They meet at the Taft Hotel, where Ben is his typical nervous and awkward self, and goes to get a room for the two of them. And it’s now that I should mention that this dude is EXTREMELY twitchy, like goddamn. I know they were saying that he’s “the kind of guy who was to fight them off”, but I DO NOT see it, not gonna lie. 

After a bit more awkwardness, they meet in a room at the hotel, where the clearly still quite nervous Ben struggles with the whole affair (pun intended), including the fact that she is one of his parent’s friends, and that this is a fast start to their relationship. But, Mrs. Robinson being Mrs. Robinson, she once again manipulates him into just getting on with it...and it works.

Once again, The Sound of Silence plays, as summer passes on and he lazes about the pool during the days, then goes to sleep with Mrs. Robinson in the nights. But he doesn’t seem to enjoy any of it, as the two halves of his life are so separate, and he separates them in his mind. And that’s done by some very clever camera work and production design, honestly.

This transitions into a version of the folk rock duo that I hadn’t heard before: April Come She Will, as the affair continues forth. This is interrupted by the frustrations of Ben’s father, who asks what he’s going to do after his collegiate career, tired of his lazing about and doing nothing for...a few weeks. Really? JESUS, DAD, LET ME RELAX!

His time with Mrs. Robinson is also a bit awkward, as he’s craving some sort of relationship outside of specifically sex, and she’s entirely uninterested in that kind of relationship with him. As he tries to start any form of conversation, she reluctantly enters one, which reveals some parts of her relationship with her husband. Specifically, they don’t really love each other, and were forced to marry because she became pregnant with Elaine. It also reveals that Mrs. Robinson is a somewhat broken woman, emotionally.

It’s also revealed during this conversation that Mrs. Robinson DOES FUCKING NOT want him to take Elaine out on a date, but won’t explain her reasons for that. After prying, she says that she doesn’t believe he’s good enough for her (although I don’t quite believe that, personally). This makes him upset, and leads to an argument that almost causes him to leave. But still, she forbids him to go out with Elaine.

That’s made even MORE complicated by the fact that Benjamin’s parents force him to ask her out on a date, and he does so reluctantly, which makes Mrs. Robinson VERY upset. And I gotta say...I don’t think I like anybody in this movie. Like...at all. I only kind of like Ben, although I really only feel bad for him because he has no agency in his life. Not a big fan of Mrs. Robinson, who’s upset by a situation she’s entirely responsible for, and is cheating on her husband. Ben’s parents are annoying, and Mr. Robinson...I dunno, sort of puts off these sleazy vibes, but that’s just a feeling I’m getting.

Elaine seems nice, though, as the two go on a date together. But in order to please Mrs. Robinson, Ben does his absolute damndest to sabotage the date. Starts off with reckless driving, then transitions into ignoring her almost entirely, and then takes her out to a strip club for the date. Which is all understandably extremely upsetting; again, it’s not exactly endearing me to Ben, and it’s not working on Elaine either, who’s convinced that Ben is doing this to punish her specifically, and I don’t fucking blame her!

She runs off crying, and he goes after her, realizing that he’s been a dick and that he really doesn’t want to be. They go get food at the A&W, which is making me both hungry AND nostalgic now...fuck, I really want some food from A&W. But with that, they actually have a good time when he opens up to her about how he’s felt since college ended, and she does something nobody else has: she listens to him.

OK, I’mma get some food, but this is a good place to pause for now! See you later for Part Two!

[ultimatebottom69]

How do I know my cousins are stupid ?

Easy steps to know.

We are having a BBQ, knows that we didn't see each others for an actual year.

The conversation is rather normal and brings informations that can be used and are well informal and overall funny to talk about.

Than out of nowhere.

Bitches starts to talk about how women are weird for doing epilation, I try to explain how it is not but they don't listen. Than move on to how they have the right to be homophobic, I once more express a complete neutrality as it is not my ass that is being concerned. once more they don't listen.

They ends up saying how Jewish and Arabians people deserves to die, which was my queue to leave and go get myself drunk while enjoying adults talking.

During the rest of the evenings they talked about video games and football. Yes football video games related.

Needless to say I don't like my cousins. They are fucking rats.

Oh and they told me once I was a lesbian because I genuinely tried to include myself in their conversations about girls ( hello I use she/her and fits what you call a woman) by explaining to them that a woman is not just a bag of meat, that thinks about her appearance.

For anyone who forgot. For straights bitches. It's a slur and not a compliment.

So. If you ever see me say "Yeah. I hate my cousins too" this are all the fucking reasons.

Because yes this BBQ is not the only shit they ever did to me. Oh no. I am 18 as we speak and I quite litterally hated them since I was 5 years old. Reason ?

I remember I said something to my cousin (Let's call him Karl.) And for some reason. The child decides to punch me. I lost a teeth due to this shit. Promising me that if I say this kind of things again he will make my other teeth falls. He never apologized. I was 5 and he was 4.

Fast forward. I was a fat kid. I was fat and I am still heavy as we speak but I am more slender due to well growing up as not all fat kids stay fat.

Anyway. Karl makes fun of my weight in every way and enjoys making me feel stupid. His elder brother (let's call him Charles) is 4 years older than me and enjoys this kind of plays. And do everything to destroy my toys or just making me feel bad about myself.

Karl and Charles like to laugh about everything about me. I starts to even hate going to their house but my mom loves her sister so much we would see her at least twice a week. It was hell.

Than one day my aunt decides to get pregnant again and just do another child. His name is Michael.

He is a little shit. I want to fucking put his head into a metal pole.

Let me explain. This kid since he started to walk was a walking disaster. Normal. He is a kid you will say.

Problem is. I meanwhile got little brother and sister.

I have 12 years of difference with my brother and 16 years of difference with my sister.

I am not the best sister but I do hope I never will be the reason of them being sad or ashamed.

Anyway. For some reason Michael loves to do exactly what his elder brothers did to me. Bully my brother. Problem is one day I will do it and no one will stop me.

Since Michael was 5 he tried to actually scar him or kill him by making play with actual fire as we mostly meets on BBQ. He once tried to throw him off a balcony on the second floor. Michael also tries to blame every little thing on my little brother.

Who is not an angel but he is no devil contrary to the little shit I am talking about.

Not so far than...Hum... today this fucking rat broke one of my little sister favorite toy and try to blame it on her. He also tried to break my little brother's tablet. Than he tried to push him into the BBQ by pretending they were playing mice and cat.

So no. I don't care whoever said family was precious. That person was either a rat like them or an orphan with no family. I don't care.

I hate my cousins.

[feistypaants-archived]

False Positive [Chapter 4]

Rating: M Words: 2161 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When things don’t go according to plan and Anna finds herself alone and pregnant, she looks to her sister’s best friend, Kristoff, and almost makes a huge mistake.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: woof. This one fought me. Thanks to @karis-the-fangirl, @kristanna, and @frozenwritingcorner for being Angels Sent From Above and listening to me cry about this chapter for days gjdsgnksjg. I think it turned out all right though. Maybe. Anyway.

Enjoy!

The sun was shining brightly in her eyes, and Anna was just a little more than pissed off. There was a reason she bought those light blocking curtains, and what a waste of money they were. Her eyes opened blearily as she took in her surroundings. This… was not her room. Right.

Strong arms were still wrapped around her, but she had turned over in her sleep and buried her face into his neck, his chin resting on the top of her cheek. Anna took a deep breath, enjoying the musky scent that was so very deeply Kristoff before failing to hold back a yawn. 

He stirred above her and, in his half sleepy daze, nuzzled his nose against her face as his arms tightened to pull her closer. 

“G’morning,” she murmured, smiling against his skin. 

But as soon as he was fully alert, he was pulling away from her, cheeks red and body tense. “Ah…” he let go of her, and Anna blinked rapidly at the loss of warmth. “Sorry.” He sat up fully, running his hair between his fingers as he looked anywhere but at her.

“...It’s okay.” Anna bit her lip before rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. “Felt nice.”

Kristoff laughed, his shoulders surging forward. If he was being honest, he was just glad they were both still fully dressed. There were more than one occurrences of him waking up with her pressed flush against him and having to adjust himself in more ways than he was willing to admit. Thank god she was a heavy sleeper.

It wasn’t like him to do things like that. To throw caution to the wind, and risk making things with someone important to him complicated. In fact, he liked things to be as simple as possible. Which is why he hooked up with strange girls who were visiting from out of town and he knew he’d never see again. The number of them had lessened as he got older, but he was safe and they were simple and the idea of being vulnerable enough to be in a relationship with someone had him completely terrified.

No one knew him that well. If everything went according to his plan, no one but Sven ever would.

But when Anna, who he’d maybe had many, many dreams about since the sweet young age of fifteen - mostly innocent, mostly about chaste kisses and hand holding and getting a cat together, but had maybe occasionally gone to a filthier place once or twice when they were out of high school - showed up looking like that and batting her eyelashes at someone who wasn’t him, he may have totally lost it. 

He risked a glance back at her, scrolling through her phone and still absentmindedly running a hand over the stuffie, and pressed his lips together firmly. He didn’t think he had feelings for her - not romantic ones, anyway - so he knew sleeping with her would have just made things far too complicated. And if he did ever cross that line… 

Maybe he wanted it to mean something.

Besides, he knew her too well. Knew she’d be crawling back to Hans the second he gave her an opening. And then she’d be broken again, because guys like Hans take the best people they can find and beat them senseless until they don’t know any life but the one where they’re dependent on him.

Kristoff sighed and laid back down, placing his head on her stomach. He felt his heart clench as she moved her fingers to his hair and ran them through, gently untangling any knots she came across. “Sorry,” he mumbled, reaching up to pat her knee before dropping his hand onto his own stomach. 

“For what?” Her head was clearly far away, and Kristoff tried his best to not feel hurt. 

“Last night.”

“Don’t be. It was probably for the best.”

He glanced up at her as she dropped her phone down to her chest to smile at him. 

“All right.”

She patted his head a couple times before returning her attention to her phone. Kristoff was comfortable and didn’t want to move, but he also kind of wanted her attention.

“What are you looking at?”

Anna’s nails were scratching his scalp, a comfort amongst the tension he felt.

“Just instagram. Look how cute this family is!” She handed him her phone and he couldn’t help but smile. They were cute. He nodded and hummed an agreement before handing back the phone. Anna seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking slowly. “Do you want to be a dad?”

Kristoff’s throat dried up. “A dad?” He squeaked out, trying to cough and ease the tightness. He thought someday he’d like a family, but he thought maybe he should find a person he trusted enough to have a family with first. “I mean… yeah? Eventually?” Why was she asking this in the first place?

“Would you…” her voice was low and slow, as if she was trying her best to think about what she was going to say. “Ever date someone who already had a kid?” 

His heart was beating faster and he could feel his forehead breaking out into a light sweat. This conversation was going very much into Complicated Territory, and he let out a little laugh. “I mean, sure. If I liked them enough.”

“...Okay.”

He almost let out a sigh of relief as the conversation seemed to be ending, but Anna’s hand had completely stilled in his hair and she wasn’t one to just let a conversation end without a resolution. “Why?” He started, turning his head to look at her, planning on cracking some joke before he noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Whoa, whoa,” he started, sitting up and moving up the bed. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes, some leftover makeup smearing across her cheek. “I’m…” 

Oh god.

“So I’m pregnant. And I just…”

Oh no.

“I’m scared no one’s ever going to -“

Kristoff’s face had gone completely pale, and Anna stopped mid sentence to squint at him through her teary vision. “Are you okay? It’s not like it’s yours.”

He forced out a laugh and ran a hand down his face. “Right, of course. It’s… Hans’?”

“Of course it is!” Her eyebrows lowered in offense, as if he thought she was just sleeping with anyone who looked at her. Well, she supposed that could be a fair assumption after... “Thanks for the faith in me.”

His hands shot up in mock surrender, and he shrugged. “Look, sorry. Just after last night…” 

Anna had pulled the troll stuffie closer to her chest again, propping her chin up on top of its’ head. “... I wasn’t going to go home with that guy, okay? I wasn’t going to go home with just anyone. Why do you think I came to your bar?”

His breath quickened and his eyes locked onto her flushed face. She risked one glance up at him and the red in her cheeks deepened. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

A heavy silence fell between them. Kristoff could see how upset she was, and he tried to push down his shock as he moved to sit next to her and wrap one arm around her shoulders. “Okay…” There was a long beat where neither of them really knew what to say. So she was pregnant, and Hans broke up with her … Something quickly occurred to him. “Does Hans know?”

Anna nodded and his frown deepened. 

“Is that why…”

“Yeah.”

“Ouch.”

Kristoff hugged her a little closer, pressing his cheek to her head. He knew Hans was a terrible guy, but to leave your pregnant girlfriend? That’s beyond scummy. Especially since they had been together for years at this point. What a classy guy. Damn. 

“Have you told Elsa?”

“God, no,” Anna laughed, sniffing and wiping at her face. “She’ll kick me out.”

“No she…” Kristoff paused and cringed a little before nodding against her hair. “Okay, she does hate him. But she loves you more.”

A scoff escaped Anna’s throat and she tried to look up at him. “Sure.”

They both knew Elsa could be a bit fickle and more than a little bit selfish at times, but she always meant well, and always tried her best to make sure her sister was well taken care of. But that didn’t necessarily mean she wouldn’t get angry enough to do something drastic. It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before.

“So…” he shrugged, squeezing her arm. “What’s the plan?”

“Well my original plan turned out to be… the worst. So.” Anna sighed, biting her lower lip. “I guess it’s time to come up with something new.”

Kristoff let out a chuckle, shaking her shoulder. “Wait, original plan? What was that? Not get pregnant? Or find someone who wasn’t a total scumbag?”

Anna’s whole body tensed under his arm as a very forced and uncomfortable laugh ripped from her throat. “Yeah, hah, I should have done that, right? Maybe I should have slept with you instead.”

She sounded weird, as if she were hiding something, or possibly revealing a half-truth. Kristoff slowly removed his arm from her shoulders and turned to look at her head on. That was when he finally noticed the shame written all over her face. She wouldn’t have…

 “Did you… Were you trying to… with me? Is that why you came last night? Were you trying to...” His eyebrows furrowed, unsure of what exactly he was feeling. She wouldn’t have tried to trick him, would she? Anna wasn’t like that. Anna… not Anna.

Her jaw dropped, words stuck in her throat. “No, I… no. Listen.” She fisted her hands in the sheets before tears started brimming her eyelashes, but it seemed she was determined not to let them fall. 

Fuck.

“I just thought maybe if… if it was you… or at least everyone thought it was you…”

Kristoff pressed shaking fingers into his forehead, sliding just a little further away from her. “Oh, god. Anna, come on…” 

“Listen, please,” she was sitting up higher, shifting to her knees and wrapping her hands around his wrists. “Please don’t be mad. It was a dumb idea that I wasn’t going to go through with, and just…”

He pulled his hands away from hers and shook his head, as if he was trying to pretend this conversation wasn’t happening.

“I thought Elsa wouldn’t hate me if she thought it was yours and, and listen, please,” she was trying so desperately to make him just look at her, to just see how sorry she was. All he could see was red. “I can’t do this alone.” Tears were falling freely now. “I can’t, I can’t.”

Not Anna. He couldn’t believe this. He wouldn’t… 

“You gotta go, okay?” He was standing now, moving down the hall. Anna scrambled after him, legs tangling in the blankets as she reached out for him, desperate for him to give her just a moment to explain. He stopped and turned on her quickly, holding up his hands to stop her from touching him. “Please go.”

“Kristoff, please.” She had finally escaped the bed, fingers tugging on her hair as she always did when she was nervous or upset. “I was even thinking maybe we could do this together. We could just pretend — Kristoff just listen, please—“

“You could have just talked to me, Anna!”

He had never raised his voice at her before. Not once. And even though this was more stern talking than actual yelling, Anna felt herself wince. She shrunk back, nodding. “I know.”

“What if I hadn’t stopped it? What if we had hooked up last night. Would you be telling me that I knocked you up in a couple weeks?” 

“No, god, I know it’s dumb now… I wouldn’t—“

“Are you sure?”

She felt a surge of confidence and took another step towards him. “Yes.”

Kristoff’s jaw clenched, unsure if he really believed her, and he pulled his jacket off of the hook before kicking her shoes out of the way. “Go home.”

“Please don’t make me.” Her voice was small but certain, and Kristoff felt just a tiny bit of his anger lessen. “I want to talk about this. I want to fix this. And I can’t face Elsa yet. I can’t. She’s going to be so mad…”

Pressing the heels of his palm into his eyes, Kristoff groaned. “Fine.” He cracked his neck with frustration and took a few steps forward. “I’m going to take Sven on a very long walk. We’ll talk about it when I get back.”

Anna stared at him with disbelief before sighing with relief and letting the smallest of smiles touch her lips. “Thank you.” She was practically crying again.

“Okay.”

Kristoff continued down the hall, grabbing his shoes and Sven’s harness before whistling at the pup and closing the door a little harder than necessary behind him.

[bobasheebaby]

70 Scrubs Prompts

Yup, another prompt list. Most of these are actually light and funny, though some are a little heavier. I tried to pick ones that would work outside of a hospital setting. Again it’s super long so cutting at 15. 

1 “And who’s to say this isn’t what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won’t come true? Just this once ... “ — John JD Dorian

2 “Look NAME, I don’t know if it’s possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. I never really believed I’d find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. NAME, I love you more than FRIEND.” “Oh my god” “It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's true.” — John JD Dorian and Elliot Reid

3 “I grew up on the street ... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.” — John JD Dorian

4 “As I looked at all the relationships around me ... Some that had gone on forever ... some that were reigniting ... and some that had just begun ... I realized something: It should have been me.” — John JD Dorian

5 “NAME, you can’t test love. When I met NAME, it seemed he/she was more in love with his/her best friend than with me.” “Honey, they’ve got that almond biscotti FRIEND loves, so I was wondering if I could borrow some money so I can get him/her some.” “No, you got him/her a present yesterday.” — Carla and Turk

6 “You’ve been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'NAME'.

— Perry Cox

7 “I just took a pregnancy test, just tell me when a minute's up.” “I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that bad boy rings we're good to go.” “Oh, my god, I can't stand it, 30 more seconds.” “OK baby, don't get too excited, they have to cool off for at least a minute.” — Carla and Turk

8 “So, uh, you going to lunch with your brother/sister?” “Yeah, I... well, you know, I would've invited you, but I already made the reservation for two.” “So call and change it to three.” “Ohh, I'm not gonna mess with that hostess. You know, she uses sharp tones.” — Elliot Reid and John JD Dorian

9 “Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy.” — Bob Kelso

10 “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.” — Elliot Reid

11 “I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.” — Perry Cox

12 “Oh, my God! I'm gagging and vomiting at the same time. I'm... I'm gavomiting!” — Perry Cox

13 “So he/she has a cute butt. Everyone has a cute butt. I have a cute butt.” “You should bring it in someday.” — John JD Dorian & Carla Espinosa

14 “The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.” — John JD Dorian

15 “I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.” —John JD Dorian

16 “The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person” — John JD Dorian

17 “‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.“ — John JD Dorian

18 “The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.” — John JD Dorian

19 “Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.” — John JD Dorian

20 “Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.” — Jordan Sullivan

21 “What's going on?” “I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.” “NAME’s on the phone with his/her mom/dad/parent, so we're taking five.” — Jordan Sullivan, Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

22 “By the way, NAME’s here but I'm not going to kiss and tell.” “Oh really? Cause I just got your text that said "bone city".” “Oh really? That came through?” — JD and Elliot

23 “You're gonna love it here, sport.” “Get out while you still can.” “Uh...” “Seriously, get out while you still can.” — Bob Kelso, Ted Buckland, and Keith Dudemeister

24 “Ted, what are you doing?” “I like to do stomach crunches after lunch.” “Ted, lunch was four hours ago.” “Yep, I wasted most of my Tuesday.” “It's Wednesday.” “Aw, man! I missed SHOW!” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

25 “Well, it took a whole tube of gel, but I finally got my hair down.” “No one male or female ever cared, NAME.” — Ted Buckland and Perry Cox

26 “Thirsty, huh?” “Helps the tears taste less bitter.” “Cheers.” — John JD Dorian and Ted Buckland

27 “I have to get ready man. I want my date with NAME to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?” “Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.” “Yeah but except this time with two horses.” — John JD Dorian and Turk

28 “I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?” “She's pregnant, she's not a bull.” — Elliot Reid and Turk

29 “This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounced 'analgesic', not 'ANALgesic'. The pills go into your mouth.” — Turk

30 [She/he sees NAME holding a beer] “What are you doing? [He/she threatens to open it] “You better not open that.” [He/she opens it] “Okay, you better not drink it.” [He/she takes a sip] “All right, You better not enjoy it.” [He/she expresses enjoyment, person A bitch slaps his/her beer] “Did you just bitch slap my beer?” “Are you calling me a bitch?” “Yes. Yes, I am!” — Carla and Turk

31 “Is there another guy on this planet who is that sensitive?” “Okay, let it out. I've got you. NAME has got you. Hold me tighter, a little too tight...There is a good spot.” — Turk and JD

32 person a “This plan is fool proof.” Person c “That is impossible. You two are involved.” Person c “We will see about that!” [Person a and c crash into each other as they try to walk away] — JD, Perry Cox and Turk

33 person a “I don't think we have anymore wine. NAME, can I have some of yours?” [Person C’s narration: I felt like NAME was starting to blame me for all of this.] [person b Spills his/ her wine in person c’s face) “I spilled mine too, honey. You know what you should do? Ask for some NAME’s.” [Person C Spills his/her wine on his/her crotch] “I spilled mine too.” — Carla, Turk and JD

34 “Wait NAME! I have an idea.” “You have another idea? Well I've got to tell you, I'm done with your ideas and not just for now but forever! Okay, are we clear on that?”  “It's a good one.” “I'm listening.” — JD and Turk

35 “He/she is not allowed to dream about me. It gets too freaky in there.” “Cirque de Soleil freaky. One time, he/she was skinless.” — Carla and Turk

36 “How often do you make love?” “Twice today.” “Actually it was three times. You were asleep for the last one.” “Wow, that really happened? I thought it was weird that you were in one of my sex dreams.” — Marston, Turk and Carla

37 “How was your first stress-free day?” “Horrible. And you?” “Worse. Let's make a baby. If it doesn't work this time I'll kill myself.” “Not helping with the stress.” — Carla and Turk

38 “Dude, there you are. Two things; First, the aliens are here and they're wearing track suits.” “Oh, that's Nana.” — Turk and JD

39 “Are you nude right now?” “Yeah! How'd you know?” “Your voice is always higher when you're nude.” “That's true.” “It's not weird you know that at all.” —JD, Turk and Perry Cox

40 “You know, I actually like NAME. So, don't do that thing you always do.” “If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with NAME anymore.” [Later] “Behind your ear.” [Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear] “My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell NAME we're still playing.”— Elliot Reid, JD and Turk

41 “Dude, he/she keeps a hug schedule with his/her friends!” “Okay, NAME ... looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?” Person B Narration: He's hurting! Hug him/her ... hug him/her now! — Turk and JD

42 “Dude, don't sweat it - It says here that the ostrich is generally a docile creature.” “Thank God!” “It also says their kick can kill a man!” — Turk and JD

43 “Just don't repeat the same mistakes you made with me. For instance, don't speed down the road pretending your brakes are out. I don't care if it got you laid once in high school. It is not funny and I still have not forgiven you for killing that pony.” — Elliot Reid

44 “NAME, I don't photograph well. On my driver's license, I look like Gary Busey.” — Elliot Reid

45 “We have a very complicated past.” “Yeah, I hurt him/her, and I'm not proud.” Person B narration: I'm a little proud. — Elliot and JD

46 “NAME and I keep it superficial.” “Love the superficial. Dynamite teeth today!” “Oh thanks buddy!” “Sparkly.” “Yeah!” — Elliot and JD

47 “Will you tell me what NAME’s fantasy was?” “Nope.” “Did it involve chains?” “No.” “Whips?” “Mm-mm.” “Candle wax?” “No.” “Role-playing?” “No.” “Lasers?” “Mm-mm.” “Hamsters?” “Negative.” “Was he/she a Mexican apple thief?” “If only ...” — JD and Elliot

48 “Why don't you just move into my place?” “Oh, great, then we'll be two losers under one roof.” — Elliot and JD

49 “NAME, what you said before ... I knew you were right. Anyway, I'm sorry I got mad. You were wrong about one thing, though - we are moving forward.” “NAME, I'm thirty years old; I'm single, I'm homeless, and I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself.”

— Elliot and JD

50 Person A “Ohhh, my God, you're right.” Person B “Don't let him/her be your puppet-master.” Person C “Hey!” Person B “Hey.” Person C “What's up?” Person B “I have a headache.” Person C “Take some aspirin.” Person B “Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me!” — Carla, Elliot and Jake

51 “I've never connected with a guy/girl like this before. I mean, even though it's only been two weeks, I already feel like I know NAME better than I know myself.” “What does he/she do for a living?” “I should know that.” — Elliot and Carla

52 “Look, the reason I've been acting so weird and having my friends hang around us all the time is because I really think that we have a shot for something great, and I don't wanna go and ruin it by sleeping with you too fast. I mean, what was I supposed to do?” “Well, you...you could have just told me that.” “Yes, but you're forgetting I'm a crazy person!” — Elliot and Jake

53 “I've seen the Wiggles live in concert ... twice.” “Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?” “They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome.” — Perry Cox and Turk

54 “What's wrong with me?” “You're an annoying, whining man-child.” “That question wasn't directed to you!” “What question?” — JD and Perry Cox

55 “I’m notifying all my old boyfriends/girlfriends today that I'm officially off the market.” “I'm sure the 'pulse' setting on your shower head will be devastated!” — Elliot Reid and Perry Cox

56 “If there is one thing I have learned, it's that you can't schedule love.” “I think your credit card statement would beg to differ.” — Bob Kelso and Perry Cox

57 “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man/Woman Not Caring.” [points to self] — Perry Cox

58 “If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.” — Perry Cox

59 “Should I talk slower or get a nurse that speaks fluent moron?” — Perry Cox

60 “Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?” — Perry Cox

61 [thinking] Why don't I ever listen to me? — JD

62 “And you know what else? I quit!” “No you don't!” “Well I'm leaving early today!” “No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!” “Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!” “Whatever.” — Ted Buckland and Bob Kelso

63 “Your dog is creepy.” “Aww...be nice to Rowdy. The guy we bought him from used to keep him in a box full of old hats.” — Elliot and JD

64 “I thought we cared about each other ...” “Oh please, if you didn't want to sleep with me, you'd have done the same thing.” “Well, I'll tell you one thing, the last thing in the world I wanna do is sleep wit'cha now!” “Do me right here.” “Okay.” “See!” — JD and Elliot

65 “Huh! I put all those fliers up, and nobody wants me to live with them!” “Oh, come on, NAME. I'm sure you'll eventually find a roommate who's a... clean, non-smoking vegetarian that rinses the shower thoroughly after each usage.” “Oh, well, if you don't, it gets mildewy.” “You know, you should move in with my friend: Anal McLooney.” — Elliot and JD

66 “You know, I've been thinking a lot about us lately.” “Me too.” “God, you drive me crazy.” “Oh, you drive me crazy!” “Sometimes I just lay awake at night, thinking about how unbelievably lucky I am to have you in my life.” “Sometimes you're so controlling it makes me want to strangle you..” — Paul and Elliot

67 “Tonight, I am going to make all of your fantasies come true.” “You know, NAME, I would be happy just to have sex above the covers once.” “Yeah ... never gonna happen.” — Elliot and Paul

68 “You know, it's funny... when I said "I love you," it was an accident - and I never really loved you at all.” “That is an absolute riot.” — Elliot and Paul

69 “Okay, here's what you do: First you say that, even though our relationship is ending, you don't have any regrets.” “Oh, my God! Are you actually telling me how to break up with you?” “You're right. Go ahead.” “If you could just start me off, that'd be super.” — Paul and Elliot

70 Person A “You never explained that U2 thing, did you!” Person B “You know, I've been thinking about it, and maybe it's not such a bad thing that that happened! Right? I mean, things have been going really well between us, and maybe it was fate! I could've been looking at my Bel Biv Devoe CD and said, "I love Bel Biv Devoe" - which I do, by the way. And I'm not ashamed of it.” Person A and B “That girl is poison..." Person A “NAME, look, I just think that if you guys are meant to get to this point, it'll happen... naturally.” Person B “You're right! "I love U2!" Dammit! Why do I always have to say every little thing that comes into my head!? Ugh, I really wish you wouldn't stand so close to me after you take your hummus break. See! I didn't need to say that! I'm gonna tell him.” Person C “Love you!” Person B “Love you more!” Person A “Ugh!” Person B “You know what - brush your teeth, then judge me!” — Carla, Elliot and Paul

[loudsuitlover]

Ohana 3

Jamie

It’s been two days since I’ve last seen Harry. I’m ignoring him like a coward and I know at some point it’s gonna have to end but he hasn’t texted me back since the last text I ignored yesterday afternoon. 

I just don’t know how to tell him. I freaked out. I panicked. And I don’t even know what was that. Why would I kiss him? Moreover, why would he kissed me? He could have literally any girl on the planet, counting on famous people, not famous people- not even any girl but anywho- and he chose me? There must be something wrong with him. 

Charlie turns around holding a box of weetbix on her hand, asking me whether those are the ones I have for breakfast or at least that’s what I think she’s saying. She tilts her head at me and I know she’s caught up with the fact that my mind is anywhere but here. I shake my head, trying to dismiss it, as I lean towards Mateo and caress his hair out of his face. He smiles at me and for a split of a second I forget I’m worried when Charlie’s phone makes a beep sound.

“Harry asks how our day went.” She doesn’t look at me as she types an answer.

“Does he know I’m with you?” 

“Yeah.” She nods. “He asked me about you when you stopped answering his texts and I told him that we were having a girls’ day out today.” 

“What wouldn’t you tell me?” 

“Would it have changed anything?” She shrugs. “Besides, I thought you knew he was interested already and I didn’t want to bother you.” 

This was all Jack’s idea. I was sure of that. Charlie would have given me the hardest time about this had she had it her way, but I’m sure Jack tried to calm her down. I busy myself reading the ingredient charts on cereal boxes as I wait for her to finally allow herself to bother me. 

“Are you still coming tonight?” She asks instead. 

I know Harry is going to be there but it’s not like I can not go to Jack’s promotion party and anyway I’m gonna have to talk to him in person sooner or later. I bite my bottom lip and then I turn to her. 

“Yeah.” I smile. “Mum’s looking after Mateo.” 

Charlie’s hazel eyes burn into mine as she just keeps quite. I don’t quite know whether she has really matured in a matter of months or whether she just doesn’t even know what to say to me. The haircut she just got looks so good on her too, her hair barely skimming her shoulders now. 

“Anyway” she smiles “do you know who keeps asking about you too?” 

I bite my bottom lip again- I keep doing that lately- as I pretend it’s no big deal that she used the word too because Harry also keeps asking about me. I turn to her so that she gets she has my attention. 

“Noah.” She smiles. “You know, it’s funny how you try so hard to stay away from guys’ attention and you still get it.” She laughs. “I mean, I get it, with that angel face of yours.” 

My head spins to her in a matter of seconds and I’m afraid I’ve given myself a whiplash. Did she just use the words angel face? I feel my heart beating ten times faster. 

“But the things is- they both are super nice.” 

Now, here she goes- she’s about to let Charlie take over Jack’s advises now. I hate to admit I like it and I try not to smile as we both walk to the cashier. 

“Like, before I met these guys, I would never think it was possible for someone to kind of outweigh Harry but I gotta say Noah is pretty close. I mean he’s so nice and funny and smart and cute, you know? He’s got a niece, you should see him with her.” She raises her eyebrows. 

I just shake my head at her as I place the groceries on the cash and she excitedly chats with the cashier because that’s just the way she is. It’s pouring rain when we make our way outside the supermarket and I try my best to cover Mateo with my jacket as we wait for the rain to give us a break under the roof of the supermarket entrance when Noah, out of all people, rushes to the supermarket. 

“Oh, hi, girls!” 

He grins like he had just come out of a romcom and I can’t help but hear Charlie’s words in my head as I look at him. I mean, like seriously, it is fucking raining and then here he appears, fully dry which can only means he has a car like a knight in shining armour. I internally roll my eyes as Mateo babbles against my chest. 

“Hi, Noah.” I smile. I’m about to scare him away. “This is Mateo, my son.” 

But Noah just grins wider and that’s the first time someone has reacted like that to me saying my son. He could really be somebody. 

“Of course he’s your son!” He cheers. “Mate he looks exactly like you!” 

My heart skips a beat when Mateo smiles back at him. He’s such a happy baby and I’m such a proud mama and Noah just chuckles at my baby’s cute antics. 

“You girls need a ride?” He offers. “I was going to get something quick for lunch but I can drive you home. It doesn’t look like it’s going to stop raining anytime soon.” 

“We actually could use a ride, yeah.” Charlie answers for us both. “We’ll treat you to lunch actually since you’re going to drive us. It’s the least we can do.” 

Noah smiles and offers to carry some of our bags as we make our way to his car. A black Volvo. Okay, he seems to have money too but then again I don’t know why I’m surprised considering he’s friends with Chloe and Harry and the rest of them. 

The three of us have pasta with zucchini and cream at Charlie’s house while Mateo takes his afternoon nap and we share such a nice conversation, it’s been a long time since I haven’t felt this relaxed, like I have nothing to hide and I can just be Jamie; for Noah has already met Mateo and he’s still being nice to me. I can tell he likes my outfit too, even though it’s just yoga pants and a crop top but I’ve caught him roaming my body up and down with his eyes once or twice and I’d lie if I said I’m not happy about it. It’s nice to know I still have it after giving birth to a child and breastfeeding him every day. 

Noah kept making Mateo laugh until he asked if he could hold him and I happily obliged. He’s been lifting him up in the air and showing him fruits since I handed my baby over to him as Charlie and I make some tea in the kitchen. 

“I told you he’s so cute with babies.” She whispers. 

I just laugh. 

“He loves the feel of mandarins as well” Noah notices as I stare as Mateo’s tiny hands playing with the tangerine “just like my niece.” He shrugs. “I don’t know what is with babies and mandarins.” 

“Maybe it’s the smell too? They smell really good.” I notice. 

“Yeah” he agrees “maybe.” 

After tea and pumpkin biscuits, Noah drives Mateo and me home with the promise of seeing each other again at Jack’s party. He offers to pick me up for it but I politely decline. He’s very sweet and cool and I really like him, but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. 

I put on a burgundy satin v-back midi dress I bought online while I was pregnant because I had a mental breakdown and started buying a lot of clothes that didn’t fit for some reason but I enjoy the way it looks on me now. I decide on just using some mascara and painting my lips with dark burgundy lipstick instead of going with a full make up-smokey eye kind of look and readjust my bangs as I wait for Charlie to honk at the door. 

I walk with Charlie and Jack along the longest line I’ve ever seen in a club before I even realize we are at the Obleon. I stop them, holding Jack by his elbow as he turns to face me. 

“Eh, guys, how are we even going to get in here?” I ask them. “I thought you said we were going to the Morray’s.” 

“We were” Jack explains “but Gemma suggested that we could go to the Obleon as well, since it was such a special night” he grins every time he remembers he got the promotion after a year of internship with Mr Banks “and I mean there’s no way we would get in without her so of course we said yes.” 

I nod my head before I just follow them. I decide I won’t ask any more questions. This is probably all Harry’s doing anyway. I bet he got us all super VIP access to everywhere in the club and that he just has to say the word for the entire thing to just shut down for him. I don’t know how I feel when we walk past all those people waiting and just casually wait for Gemma to appear right next to the doormen. She finally appears, in a silver sequin short dress and purple lipstick, with such a cheerful smile on her face. She grins excitedly at me, apparently so happy to see me again for some reason and I start hoping everyone feels the same way. 

We follow her through a corridor with purple neon lights and plants on both sides of the wall until we finally make it inside the club and I start getting excited as I have a look around myself to see the Obleon from the inside. I thought I was never going to, to be honest, and to make things better, this is the first time I go to a club- without being absolutely forced to by Charlie- since I got pregnant. I have a look at the stairs, big, majestous, white and marble as they curled their way up to a second floor and since they all look down towards the dance floor, I can see there are three floors. I wonder how people look dancing from the third of them. 

Everyone in the club looks so fancy, but as opposed to the last time I hang out with these guys, I don’t feel too out of it now with my satin dress. I adjust the thin strap on my shoulder as we finally spot the group. I’m glad to find out Chloe’s also excited to see me and I greet the rest of the girls as she happily introduces them all to me. These people are so nice. Charlie comes back with a drink for me on her hand and she raises her eyebrows high when I gladly take it and bring the straw to my lips. As I scan the crowd and get starstruck a time or two, my eyes finally bumped into Harry’s green ones as he’s standing with his friends not that far away from me. He doesn’t look very happy to see me so I turn around and try to get a little farther away from him but Gemma cuts me off and walks me towards him. His friends are nice and they both introduce themselves to me, Jeff and Mitch, but Harry just looks me up and down. No hello, no smile, nothing. So I’m the one to greet him. 

“Hi.” I say. 

He just raises his eyebrows as if he was surprised I have a voice at all. I guess I deserve his behaviour, but he’s still making me feel so uncomfortable and I just want to drop dead in front of him. I almost feel like I should apologize for my existence to him but instead I just look down at both our feet and turn around, keen to just walk away from him and pretend and I never knew him, but he just grabs my elbow and then his hand moves down my arm until our hands intertwine and like that he pulls me along to the stairs. He doesn’t let go of my hand as we make our way along the white marble stairs to the second floor but I guess he’s not worried about anyone snatching a photo of the two of us because this is very private I take it. He only stops when we are standing next to a white column on the second floor and he places himself next to him so I am left facing him, having a nice view of the dance floor from the inner balcony. 

I entertain myself looking for Charlie so that I don’t have to face the apology I owe him. 

“Are you going to tell me what the hell happened?” He starts. He seems mad. “You text me the kiss I gave you was the best kiss you’ve ever been given and then you ignore me?” 

“You only text me once.” I complain, scratching my elbow as I avoid looking at him.

“And I called you and left a voice mail.” 

I look up at his eyes. 

“That you never heard.” He guesses correctly. 

“I never hear my voice mails. No one leaves voice mails anymore.” 

He doesn’t reply to that and I know he’s just waiting for me to explain myself but now I just don’t know what to say. He looks so good on that black suit even though he’s not even smiling but his face is just perfect I swear to God. And somehow the fact that he seems to be hurt by my silence makes me feel special, like he actually has been waiting for me to talk to him, even though I would imagine he would have random sex with girls he never saw again all the time. 

“Are you seeing someone?” 

He blurts out loud and I frown immediately. Under any other circumstances, I would have called him out for calling me a cheater like that- if there’s something I hate that’s lying- but the fact that he sounds jealous almost makes me smile. 

“No! That’s not what this is about.” 

“Then what is it?” 

“I mean... What happened the other night was a mistake.” I lie even though I don’t know I’m lying. 

“You regret it?” 

I can’t lie to him. I don’t know why but I just don’t want to so I can’t say I do because I don’t. God for some reason I am dying for him to kiss me again right now. But... I know it’s silly, it would never work and I would just get hurt yet I don’t want him to know I had thought about a future because he had only kissed me once. I look away from him. 

“I just don’t think it should happen again.” 

He surprises me with silence. I won’t lie, I would like for him to fight me a little on that- to try to convince me, even though I’m sure if he does try he will win me over and I will just get my heart broken at the end of this little game. 

“Okay.” He says instead. “I don’t want to, but I’m going to respect it.” 

I hate that he’s so good. 

“But we can at least be friends, right?” 

I nod. I’m going to suck being his friend but he probably has a thousand and he probably means that just like- let’s say hi when we see each other at Charlie’s- so I take it and offer him my hand. He stares at him with an amused expression before he takes it and we shake hands before we make our way downstairs and join the rest of the group. Charlie gives me a questioning look, as if she wants to know if something happened between us, but I just roll my eyes. Oh, God, what did I just do? 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him walking back to his friends from before, and I make it a point to stay far away from him. I dance with Gemma and her girlfriends and they all try so hard to make me feel like part of their group that at they end I do. Noah offers me another drink and we both make our way to the bar. I hold on to his shoulder when someone accidentally bumps their elbow into me as they dance and he turns his head to look at me before he offers me his hand. I take it for balance but immediately feel guilty. I don’t want to use him but I also want to take Harry out of my head. When I look at him though, he’s staring at us and he doesn’t look happy. 

I grab the drink that Noah’s offering me and we sip on both our drinks a little so as not to walk back to our friends with the drinks fill to the brim because they would just spill all over the dance floor and that would just be a waste. I’m laughing with him but I am awared the alcohol is helping me a lot because on the back of my mind I keep hearing this voice that’s calling me an idiot for pushing Harry Styles away like that. Secretly, I can’t wait for us to go back to our group so I can eye Harry again but my night gets ruined in a matter of seconds when I do for I see him sitting down with some girls and they’re all gorgeous and laughing at his jokes. I hate to think he could be talking them up like he did me just a week ago. I want to leave. 

I say my goodbye to Noah and he offers to share an Uber so that I don’t have to go home alone but I politely decline because I’m not sure what his intentions really are and I don’t want to have to tell him that no, he can’t come in my home. If he were Harry, I would obviously say yes and invite him inside and I would have him in my bed as I kiss him all over but he’s not so insted I look for Charlie and give her a kiss on the cheek before I hug Jack and congratulate him again for his promotion telling them both I’m leaving. They both offer to wait with me at least until the Uber gets there but I crave for those few minutes alone so I can get my thoughts in a fine line. 

As I wait for my Uber, I try to organize the following day because that’s what I do when I get nervous, to regain some sense of control; but I can’t stop thinking about Harry and his calmed green eyes, and his dimples, and his nose, and his unruly hair and the way he smells and that suit... Why did I have to meet him? I was so put-together before I did. How can I miss someone I barely know and never have had? 

I look down at my phone to check how much longer the uber driver is going to take and I watch it die in my hand. Great. I hate when I run out of battery and even though I know my way home and there’s no need to worry, I start feeling a mild anxiety on the back of my neck when I hear him mumbling. 

“Come on, pick up, pick up.” 

I turn around to face him and he looks at me with bright green eyes, his phone still on his ear even though his mouth is agape and he’s not saying a word. He hangs up and stands in front of me. 

“I was calling you.” He admits. 

“My phone died.” I show him. 

“You’re alone?” He frowns. 

I nod. 

“I thought you had left with Noah.” 

Who would have thought he was the jealous type? 

“And that’s why you called?” He doesn’t answer. “Well now you see I didn’t, you can go back to your girlfriends. You almost have the blond, the brunette is playing hard to get.” I look ahead. I am jealous too. 

“I’m not interested in any of them.” He breathes. “That’s why I came after the girl I like even though she said she wants nothing to happen between us.” 

I feel him talking on my ear as he stands right behind me. He’s very close and I’m a little alarmed by his behaviour because we’re outside the club now and I bet this is full of papparazzis and whatnot. I swallow the lump in my throat. If I feel his breath against my neck again my knees might fail me. I’m desperate for him to touch me. 

“Let me take you home.” He whispers on my ear. 

That’s it, I’m a goner. I don’t even think about it because there’s nothing to think.

“You are trouble.” I whisper back. 

I hear the air coming out through his smile before he presses a chaste kiss on my temple and his arms are wrapping around my waist as he pulls me to him. 

“Nah.” He reassures me but I know he’s lying. 

He ends up paying my Uber just for the driver to walk away before he’s calling his driver. He tells me he doesn’t enjoy much fancy things, but that he can’t just have anyone driving to his house, so that he can keep as much of the little privacy he has left safe, and it almost seems funny to me that he is justying himself. 

I lean my head on the window of the car and enjoy the feel of his hand agains my thigh as he draws circles against the satin of my dress. I have two options now: I can either crawl back to my comfort zone and push him away and avoid him for the rest of the time he stays in London, which I don’t think it’s going to be much anyway; or I can stop fighting him and enjoy him as long as he decides to stay around and then he’ll leave and things will go back to normal. I’ll deal with the heart break when I have to. 

When we make it to his apartment, this time he doesn’t waste any time and pushes me against the door as soon as he closes it kissing my lips passionately as if he had been waiting forever to do that. I can’t help but moan against his lips as I feel a fierceness in his kisses I haven’t felt before. His hands circle my waist and raise my satin dress against my flanks and it feels funny between my legs. 

“I have been thinking about this since you left last time.” He confesses between kisses. 

I just softly gasp as my form of agreement. I hope he understands. How can I be this attracted to a man I barely know? But I understand all his fans now, I understand why he gets all that much attention, he really is magnetic and God he smells so good and his skin is so soft. I’m going crazy for him. I press my hips against his and feel him smile against my mouth. 

“You know, for someone who didn’t want this to happen again, you seem to be enjoying it.” He smirks. 

I’m about to attack him with a come back when he starts kissing my neck. His tongue lick a single stripe on the skin right below my ear and the air in my lungs... gone. 

“Oh, shut up” I tangle my fingers on his hair and he presses his hips against mine this time, letting my feel how hard he is already “and take me to your bed.” 

He growls against my neck, pressing his body against mine and pushing me further against the door. I’m so turned out I think I might burts into flames. I haven’t had sex in forever but somehow I’m not even nervous, the only thing I can think about is him coming in and out of me. 

“Are you sure?” He whispers. 

“Please.” 

He keeps kissing me as he makes me walk backwards towards the stairs and then he laughs when I trip on the first step. 

“Yeah” he laughs “maybe it’s better” he keeps interrupting himself by kissing my lips- not that I’m complaining- “if we just climb the stairs like normal people.” 

“What?” I tease him, tangling my fingers on his hair again so I can have control of the kiss “You don’t think you can make it like they do in the movies?” 

He smiles against my lips and I take advantage of that to kiss his neck. He throws his head back to grant me more access and I smile at the way he seems to be melting down on my hands. He chuckles but he sounds so turned on it only edges me on. I feel his hands grabbing my bum and I moan against his skin, pushing my hips against his desperately. 

“Rise your dress up your legs.” He half orders and my knees shake. 

I help him rise my dress up my legs like he said so now it’s a mess around my waist and then I feel his big hands against the bare skin of the back of my thighs pulling me up so that my legs wrap around his waist. He smiles at me before his lips are on mine and then he makes his way up the stairs not stopping until he’s pushing me on his bed, lying on top of me and kissing me passionately. 

“I love to feel you smile when I kiss you.” He whispers. “It means you want me too.” 

I don’t fail to get the meaning of his words so I pull away from his mouth and cup his face with my hands making him look at me. 

“Of course I want you too.” I confess. “The only reason I didn’t want this to happen again was because I don’t want to get hurt.” Now I don’t know why I just said that. 

I see his green eyes looking into both of mine and I know a hundred thoughts are running through his mind. I probably did scare him away with the thought of a future thing. I want to flinch but instead I hold his gaze and caress his cheek. 

“I’m not going to hurt you.” He whispers. 

I nod, pretending I believe him, even though somehow, I actually kind of do. 

“I wasn’t planning on telling you anything tonight after you ignored me” he smiles timidly “but I got mad the second I saw you tonight because fuck me you look so fucking sexy... And I thought I wasn’t going to have you.” 

I smile and caress the skin on the back of his neck as I enjoy the intensity of his stare on me. He caress my bottom lip with his index finger. 

“It also made me mad to think that you hadn’t thought about me like I had thought about you.” He confesses. “And... then when I saw you with Noah... I want to murder the guy.” 

I laugh, kissing the tip of his nose before I press a peck to his lips. I don’t know what this is. All these confessions on his bed, even before we’ve had sex, but I feel like I should tell him some secret too. 

“I haven’t gotten you out of my head since the other night either.” I whisper. 

He smiles, like that was all he needs before he leans over me and captures my lips with his again. He kisses me slower this time, more calmly, as if he was taking his time and I let myself enjoy the way his hands move againts my skin. He presses slow kisses down my neck and I let him explore my chest as he kisses my sternum, slowly pulling the strap down my shoulder with his fingers so my chest is more exposed to him. I know he can feel my erratic heartbeat but I don’t even mind he knows. 

He looks up at me and smiles mischievously and I know he’s asking for my permission to take his expedition along my body lower so I smile, granting him access. With one hand around my waist, the other grabs the hem of my dress and pulls it up until my belly is exposed. The hand that held my waist moves and caresses the strip of skin in contact with my hazel colour lace underwear and my skin burns from his touch. Once again he grabs the hem of my dress with one hand, the other lifting my back by my waist and he takes it off, delicately dropping it next to his bed as he stares into my eyes, after gaining control over his again after they dropped to bra covered chest. 

“You are so beautiful.” He whispers. 

“Leave the bra on.” 

I am panicking too hard to even take his compliment. The last thing I need is for him to breastfeed himself accidentally. I almost want to cry from embarrassment and he doesn’t even know milk can come out of my breasts yet. I don’t think I want to tell him. He frowns and I can tell I’m panicking because of the concer on his face. He presses his lips against mine and kisses me very slowly until I feel the tension leaving my body. 

“Okay.” 

He doesn’t question it and I just want to scream how grateful I am for that but then 

“Oh.” I moan. 

He just presses his hardness between my thighs and only then I realize my legs are spread wide opened granting perfect access for him to do that and shut me up just like that. He’s so hard and hot and I know I’m so wet and ready for him. He’s stopped kissing me and instead he just stares at me as he pushes his hardness against my clothed centre again and I just bite my bottom lip, my eyes almost rolling to the back of my head, but I don’t want to miss the way he’s enjoying the realization of his effect on me. He keeps doing that, gently but firmly rocking his hips against me while he intently stares at me and I keep whimpering and sinking my head against his pillow until he takes that as an invitation to kiss my neck. 

“Fuck” he whispers in my ear “I’m so hard for you.” 

“I want you.”

It’s like my sex has taken control over me for those words leave my mouth without my consent but I know I’ve said them because of the way he’s looking at me. His eyes are still fixated on mine as his hand glide up my thigh until it’s on my knee and gently pushes it to my armpit so that I’m impossibly more opened for him and then that same hand starts caressing the inner side of my tight before he cups my crotch with his hand and his fingers move against my entrance. His lips are brushing mine as he speaks. 

“Can I take these off?” 

I know he’s asking because of the bra thing but still his question makes my walls clench and I think he can tell considering where his hand is. I nod and kiss him again as my hands pull him closer to him. Goosebumps form in every part of skin he touches and I didn’t know it was going to feel so good to get rid of my underwear until he did. He careses his way back along my thighs and then squeezes my bum and has me like a moaning mess on his mouth. 

I am trying to decide whether I want to fight my heavy lids and keep my eyes opened to see his every move or whether I should just go with what comes natural and let them shut and just feel him all over me. I feel his weight on top of me before he presses his hard on against my naked sex and only then I realize he’s still wearing his suit pants. Before I can even organize my thoughts, my hands go straight to work and I find myself expertly unbuttoning his trousers as if I had done it many times before. I’m glad he isn’t wearing a belt for it would have been another barrier to have him like I want. He pushes his trousers down his legs as he hungrily kisses me and I can feel his breath erratic inside my mouth. 

I cup his face and kiss him with an affection I didn’t know I had for him and it scares the hell out of me to think he might leave tomorrow or worse, that he could stay for long enough for me to fall in love and then eventually go- not to mention how fast he’d run if he knew I have a son. But I don’t have to think about that now. I have him, naked, on top of me. 

“Harry” I exhale. 

“Can I have you now?” 

I only have to look at him for my body to scream at him that he can have me however he wants. I can’t barely see any green left in his eyes as his pupils have dilated and he stares at me like a hunter and I can’t help but wish he would devour me. But the moment I feel his hardness pressed against my entrance, I tense like a block of ice and I know he can tell because he abruptly stops his movements on top of me. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He whispers. 

I am blushing hard and I feel the heat coming up my neck towards my cheeks. I want to look away from him. I’ve never been more embarrased in my life. But he cups my cheek and presses a sweet kiss against my lips. 

“I don’t mind, Jamie.” 

But he’s naked and so am I and I’m dying for him. It’s just...

“I haven’t had sex in fifteen months.” 

My chest is going up and down as he tries to manage his surprise but his eyes betray him as they open wide. His lips are parted before he licks them and pulls my hair away from my forehead. 

“That’s okay.” He reassures me. “There’s no rush” he smiles “and we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

“But I... I do want to. I want you.” I reassure him and he nods, smiling. “I’m just afraid it’s going to hurt.” I confess. 

He smiles at me before he presses our mouths together again and my tongue is moving against him as if trying to let him know all those things I haven’t told him. That I have a child, that I’m afraid I’m not going to be what he expect, that I’m afraid giving birth has changed me forever. But also that despite having a child, I don’t have much experience anyway, that I only had one boyfriend before, that we didn’t experiment much but then his kisses start travelling down my body and I feel him leaving soft but sensual kisses against my sternum and between the valley of my breasts and right at the pit of my stomach. I feel hot pufs of air against my soaked, swollen sex and when I look down at him, our eyes meet and I know what his mouth is hovering and I feel my heart beating on my throat. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” 

He holds my thighs and pulls them over his shoulders and I feel incredibly exposed to him which makes me so nervous I involuntarily try to close my legs. Harry looks up at me. 

“What are you doing?” He smiles and then I see realization hits him. “Wait, you’ve never been eaten before?” 

I know the skin of my face has gotten redder than a poppy and I must look horrified because he chuckles at my reaction.

“Eaten?” I shudder at his filthy moath. “I... No, no one’s ever done that.” 

“Why?” He asks. 

I rub my forehead and swallow my own saliva. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It might be the refusal of how much I actually want this. I hope he can tell by the way I’m looking at him because if I actually have to say it I might start crying. I didn’t know this was so embarrassing, but he’s still face to face with my love door. 

“Sorry, I just assumed” he apologies “because you’re so sexy and... Confident and... I don’t know, but I kind of like no one has been lucky enough before.” He smiles like the devil. “Can I be the first?” 

I know he understands by the way he grins at me but I nod anyway, wanting to make the consent explicit, and then I shut my eyes and throw my head back, too embarrassed to look at how he’s going to steal my innocence with his mouth. My mouth agapes and I let out a suffocated moan when his tongue grazes my lips.  

I don’t know what’s going on, but the more he moves his tongue against my skin the more I feel like I’m not even touching the bed. I feel like a intruder in my own body, like I have lost all control over all my emotions. Like I didn’t even know myself. For the next minutes I feel as I don’t own myself but rather Harry does and I feel my mind getting further and further away as his tongue dances around persuasively, every now and then sucking at my clit or delicately licking it to bring some calm back to my fluttering chest. 

I can feel Harry smiling against me every now and then and I reward his amazing performance with loud moans. He’s moaning too even though I would never imagine this would be pleasurable for him as well but every time he moans I feel the vibration against my clit and I just can’t take it anymore. I pull from his hair as I cum and surprise myself with that because I hadn’t even noticed I had tangled my fingers on his hair. 

When I come back from my high, his face is inches apart from mine and his body is once again over mine. He’s grinning at me, getting the shinning away from the corner of his mouth with his fingers. I’m still struggling to breath when I talk. 

“That didn’t hurt, did it?” He grins like a naughty child and despite how embarrassing that still was, I find myself laughing out loud. “I love making you laugh.” 

I smile at him. What I’m about to tell him makes me shy.

“That felt incredible.” 

He grins proudly before he nods, taking the compliment. He presses his lips against mine in a sweet peck but I’m curious so I let my tongue out, licking his bottom lip, and he smiles at the realization of my petition, opening his mouth for me. I lick his tongue, tasting myself on it, and the salty taste and the thought that it was me who gave that to him makes me moan. 

“I can’t believe no one has ever tasted you.” 

I smile. It’s funny to me how he says no one, as if there had been many before him. 

“I haven’t been with that many guys.” I confess. 

“Haven’t you?” 

I shake my head. I hope he helps him understad why I ran away from him and ignored him and pushed him away and all the other stupid things I did before this. 

“I am not... Very experienced. I hope you don’t think I’m weird.” I caress his cheek. 

He presses a sweet kiss against my lips. 

“I don’t. I actually love the idea of being the first one to eat your pussy.”

“Harry!” 

My face reddens completely as I swat his chest playfully and he laughs out loud. He loves to embarrass me. He kisses my lips as soon as he manages to stop laughing and I enjoy the fact that he likes kisses this much. I’m a big fan of kisses myself.

“You’re such a good kisser.” He whispers against my lips. 

He’s the one saying that? I love kissing him and I have to recognize it’s not only for the way he responds to it, but also because... Well, because it’s him. 

[feelthepainofdodick]

Love For Hire - Ch. 2 - (D.D. x Reader)

Summary: David hires you to be his fake girlfriend for a month to get the diza stans off his back. This experience is the craziest thing that has ever happened to you and the emotional consequences that ensue are something you never expected.

Notes: Hey yall! Thank you all so so much for the support on my first chapter on the new series. It definitely makes me more nervous now but also incredibly excited. I hope all of yall enjoy. Also this series is definitely a slow burn kind of romance so just bare with me. Much love, Julie.

Word Count: 1392 

CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER THREE

David walks out of his bedroom into the kitchen to find Natalie making breakfast.

“Hey” He grunts sleepily as he walks over to the refrigerator to get water.

Natalie turns away from the stove to face him. “Hey. So… Did you sleep on it?”

“Yes, I slept on it and I’m still not sure.” He says groggily, still half asleep.

“Not sure? I can’t think of any cons to this idea.”

“I know I know. You’re right. I think I’m just iffy because hiring someone to be my fake girlfriend just seems weird, ya know?” Natalie nodded in agreement.

“I know its weird but it’s your best chance at finally putting yourself first in your career.” She says sympathetically. 

David nodded. “Okay fine. I’ll do it.” He sighs in defeat.

“Great! Because she’s landing in a few hours.”

David snaps his head up at Natalie suddenly wide awake. “What!? She’s already coming? Nat! What the fuck! I know nothing about this girl. I need to make the house look decent. We need to set up the guest bedroom! I don’t even know what I’m going to say. Are we picking her up?” He questions frantically.

Natalie chuckles. “David. Calm down. I talked to (Y/N) last night. She’s super chill and nice. The house looks fine. I already made the guest bedroom. You just have to act like a normal human, dumbass. She’s a person, so treat her like you would treat any one of our friends because for the next month that is basically what she is. And, yes, we are going to the airport to pick her up.”

David does a long, exasperated sigh. “You are annoying.” He stalks off to his room to get ready to go pick you up.

(Y/N)’s POV:

When Natalie told you she booked the flight you immediately started packing. You were going to LA which meant you needed little to no sweaters or anything warm for that matter. You didn’t have much in your tiny boston apartment so it didn’t take long to pack. Natalie booked the flight for a few hours from now so you had to be quick.

On your way to the airport, you leave a quick message for your boss at the shitty deli shop you worked for. 

Hey Jim. It’s (Y/N). I’m going to California for a month. Sorry I didn’t give you longer notice. I assume you’re going to fire me so thanks for paying me like shit. Hope I never see you again.

You hung up laughing, a quiet relief resting over you; you decided to dial your best friend. She answered within a few rings.

Emma: “Hey hun. What’s up?”

(Y/N): “I’ve got something to tell you...” You say nervously.

Emma: “Oh god. Don’t tell me your pregnant. I don’t need no baby cramping our style.” She says jokingly but also partially serious.

(Y/N): You chuckle softly. “No dumbass. I’m going to LA for a month.” You blurt out.

Emma: “What the fuck. That’s worse! Why are you going to LA? I know you can’t afford it because I can’t afford that.”

(Y/N): “You know how I’ve been escorting to pay my rent?”

Emma: “Yes…?”

(Y/N): “Well I got offered to do a month long job in LA for this guy named David Dobrik to be his pretend girlfriend.”

Emma: “Wait. What? David Dobrik hired you to be his pretend girlfriend?!?”

(Y/N): “Yeah. Who is this guy anyway? Is he like super famous or something?”

Emma: “Ugh I swear to god (Y/N). You live under a rock. Do you remember that video I sent you, like, a few days ago where this girl, Natalie, was scared that there were ghosts in her house so they brought ghost whisperer people. Those videos are called vlogs and David makes them twice a week and he has like over 13 million subscribers.”

(Y/N): “That sounds intense. And yeah! I do remember that video, it was super funny. Wait did you say Natalie? I talked to some girl named Natalie about the job last night.”

Emma: “You got to talk to Natalie!?! I fucking hate you. I swear to god hoe if you don’t do your research on him and the whole vlog squad before you land in LA, I’m gonna strangle you.”

(Y/N): You laugh. “What’s a vlog squad?”

Emma: She loudly sighs. “You’ll find out.”

(Y/N): “Okay. Okay. I’ll do my research, I promise.”

Emma: “You better. I’m gonna miss you hoe. Send me updates and sneak in some photos of David for me.”

(Y/N): Chuckling, “I’ll try, weirdo. I’m going to miss you too. Just pulled over at the airport. I’ll text you when I land. Love you.”

Emma: “Have fun! Love you.”

You hung up the phone and walked into the airport towards your gate. Based on the details Natalie gave you, it was a six hour flight, making it plenty of time to do your research. You board your plane, wait for take off, and open your laptop going to David Dobrik’s youtube channel. Over the next six hours you are watching vlog after vlog, scouring over his and the vlog squad’s social medias, and watch interviews he has done. By the time the plane started descending into LAX you were stunned. This 22 year old man has made a huge career for himself over social media and it was intimidating, to say the least. You started to think about the job you had to do. After watching a few old vlogs, some interviews, and the breakup vlog; you understood why he needed you to distract the world from his ex. You were meant to be a shiny new object for his fans and the media to eat up so they wouldn’t talk about his ex so much.

After doing all your research, you had a lot more mixed emotions. On the one hand, you were excited because of the social media experience, it was a new paying job in a new city, and a new group of seemingly fun people to hang out with. On the other hand, your entire job there is to scam 13 million people into thinking you are this guy’s girlfriend, you will be heavily looked at under a microscope by the fans and the press, and you were just plain scared. You didn’t have time to process your emotions because you were already being boarded out of the plain. 

You turn on your phone to a message from Natalie saying she were waiting outside. You walk out of the airport into the California heat to find Natalie leaning on the side of a white Tesla. You walk towards her, waving awkwardly. She spots you and meets you halfway giving you a hug.

She pulls away,smiling, and says. “Oh my god hi! Wow you are just as pretty in person. Thought you might be a catfish or something.” You chuckle.

“Nope. No catfish. So where are we heading?” You question walking over to the trunk to put your bags in. You instantly felt comfortable around her.

“We are heading to David’s house so you can get you settled in and then we can explain to you what we are hoping to get out of hiring you.” 

As you open the back seat you say. “I’m supposed to be the pretend girlfriend of your boss right?” Now inside the Tesla.

“Yup.” A male voice says from the front, startling you. “That would be me.” David saying turning around, extending his hand out for you to shake.

You grab his hand to shake. “Hi sorry. I didn’t know you were here too. I’m (Y/N).” Letting go of his hand.

“I’m David.” He says facing forward, putting the car into drive, and driving out. You stare out the window as he drives out of the airport traffic when you hear Dancing Queen by ABBA playing softly in the speakers. You snap your head up, “Hey can you raise the volume, I love that song.” 

David and Natalie grin, “we are going to get along great,” he mutters as he raises the volume. You smile, laying your head back on the window staring out into the new city you were going to call home for the next month.

----

Tags: If you want to be tagged let me know... @live-awkward @roxyedobrik @pakibaddie  @duhdobrik

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Are We Really Doing This

This is my submission to the Negan fic exchange (love day addition) made by the wonderful @annablack1102 

This is a day late but not a dollar short and I’ll tell you why. The sweet @annablack1102 helped me edit my fic. SO if it’s amazing and so much better to read then any of my other stuff thank her. She is super sweet and awesome for helping me. She gave me ideas upon ideas and shes just great. Thank you darling you helped me and didn’t need to and I can’t thank you enough for that. Your amazing! Anyways...

This fic is for  @inappropriatecabbage  I hope you like it darling it’s a long one... Real long...

Trope: Are we really doing this?

Reader needs a date for her office party. 

Negan x Reader

Warnings: Language and fluff so much fluff. (it’s almost mushy)

Sitting on my couch at home half asleep watching Friends I barely react when my phone dings telling me I had an email.

I pull it off the coffee table and unlock it just to have my heart drop.

“Crap..” I say looking at the email.

It was from my boss inviting me to the Valentines day party this weekend. No matter what the holiday she threw a party. “To lift the mood of the office.” It was fun until this was your third time showing up empty handed.

Sighing I groan. As if I put out a distress signal my phone lit up Maggie’s face showing up on the screen.

Accepting her call I put it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“What’s wrong?” She asks making me pout.

“Love day party….”

“Oh, right…”

“Don’t ‘oh right’ me. You’re married, you don’t have to worry about being alone.”

“I don’t have to worry about having a date, but I have to worry about spicing things up.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

She laughs it off, making me smile.

“Don’t go if it's that big of a deal.”

“If I don’t go then everyone will think I’m pathetic.”

“They will not.”

“I have to go.”

“Do you really?”

“No, but I don’t want to be the only one not there.” I say standing up and walking to my kitchen.

“So go. Who cares if you are alone?”

“Me. I care.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t think I can take another year of Andrea’s smirk while she rubs up on her boyfriend all night.” I say getting ice cream from the freezer.

“Why do we hate her again?”

“Because she sat on her ass taking credit for my work.”

“Oh right. Well just bring someone.”

“Who? You wanna let me borrow Glenn?”

“That’s funny, but I’m sure there is someone who can go. I can ask around.”

“I don’t want to just bring someone random with me. This isn’t a hallmark movie. I can’t buy a fake boyfriend.” I say walking back to the couch.

Glancing out the window I do a double take when I see my neighbor Negan in his own apartment in nothing but a towel.

He was standing in his kitchen getting a beer giving me a clear view of his back and the few tattoos littered over his skin. When he turns around and sees me, he waves with a smirk on his face, making me blush and quickly turn away

“Are you there?”

“Huh?” I ask realizing I wasn’t listening.

“I asked if you knew anyone free who could pretend to be your boyfriend?”

“Someone to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, maybe that cop that patrols the neighborhood.”

“Rick is engaged.” I say knowing she is talking about the sheriff that goes to the same coffee shop as me.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“I thought he had kids.”

“Yeah I think he has two of them but his first wife died.”

“Oh right, that’s so sad.”

“Yeah..” I say wondering how he kept going after losing her.

I slowly eat my ice cream as Maggie names off different people that were either married, moved away, or with someone.

“What about that one asshole that lives in your building.”

“Gonna have to be more specific.” I say putting my ice cream away.

“You know he’s rude, has a dog...”

“Daryl? He’s not an asshole.”

“Good what about him?”

“I’m good thanks.”

“You don’t have time to be picky.”

“Because I like him as a person and don’t want him to feel weird if I ask him to be my fake boyfriend.”

“Well I can’t help you.”

“No one can thanks for trying.”

“Your welcome sweetie.”

“Enough about me why did you call?”

“Oh right, I’m pregnant.” She says the excitement clear in her voice.

“Really? That’s amazing!”

We spend the next better half of an hour talking until her husband gets home.

I spend the next two days getting ready for the party. I didn’t have a date but at least I would feel sexy. It was the day before the party when my doorbell rings. I open it to see Maggie standing there.

“Hey.” I say smiling and accepting her hug.

“Whatcha doing here?”

“Was in the neighborhood.” She says shrugging and walking into my apartment.

“You want something to drink?”

“Lemonade?”

“Sure.” I say knowing she can’t drink.

We were sitting on my couch talking when someone knocked on my door.

“Food!” I say jumping up and running to my bedroom. “Mags get the door please.” I say while digging through my bag to get my wallet.

Getting a twenty I walk back into the living room stopping in my tracks when instead of a Chinese delivery man was none other than Negan.

“Umm hi.” I say making both pair of eyes turning to look at me.

“Hey there darling.” He says, smiling at me and making his dimples show.

“He’s got some of your mail.” Maggie says holding up my mail.

“The mailman mixed them up again.” He says smiling.

Sometimes I think the gods above mixed our mail up just to treat me to the sight of my sexy neighbor. Negan was a silver fox in the perfect way. I also think the gods did it to punish me. Negan always seeming to show up when I didn’t look my best.

“Oh, thanks.” I say trying to make my brain make normal sentences.

“No problem.”

Walking up to Maggie I take the envelopes from her.

“Well, you ladies have a good day.” He says winking at me and turning to walk back down the hall.

I close the door as my senses come back to me.

“Who was that?” Maggie asks a smirk on her face.

“That was Negan.” I say calmly, moving to lay my mail on the coffee table.

“Who’s Negan?”

“He lives across the street.” I say not meeting her gaze.

“You like him!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I don’t even know him.”

“Not yet.” She says making me turn around to face her.

“What--” I stop talking when I realize I was alone a Chinese delivery boy standing in the open door frame.

Maggie comes back fifteen minutes latter and hands me a slip of paper.

“What did you do?” I ask her opening it to see ten numbers wrote across it.

“Your welcome.” She says smiling.

“I’m not gonna call him.”

“Well good thing I gave him your number too.”

“Maggie!”

“You can thank me later.”

“What if he’s a crazy person?”

“You’ll be in an office with other people. I doubt he will do anything. Besides, I explained everything to him.”

“You what?”

“Look Y/n you got a date, that’s what you wanted right?”

“Yeah but-.”

“But nothing be happy and enjoy yourself.”

Sighing I lay my head back on the couch.

“Fine…”

Later that night, I try not to think about the fact I had Negan’s number or that he had mine. I keep glancing at the paper on my stack of mail, but won’t let myself call him. This was a bad idea and embarrassing no matter what Maggie said.

I sat on my couch, my knees in my chest and my stomach in knots. I held my phone about to call him and tell him it was just a joke. When I looked at the time I decided against it, not wanting to wake him up. I chewed my lip wondering why he hasn’t called yet.

I jump when my phone starts to ring and unknown number popping up on the screen.

“Hello?” I ask picking it up.

“Are you watching movies without me?” Says a smooth, deep voice.

“Umm excuse me?” I ask confused.

“Oh sorry darling. This is Negan.”

“Negan.” I say blushing.

“The one and only.”

“What’s up?” I ask then close my eyes at how stupid that sounded. My face getting hotter when Negan chuckles.

“Just about to head to bed. I wanted to know what time I should pick you up.”

“Pick me up?”

“Tomorrow night, for the party. Your friend Maggie said you needed a date.”

“She was just being silly.”

“Really? So you don’t need a date?”

“Well no, I mean yes but-.”

“Y/n relax it’s no big deal, if you don’t want me to take you...”

I shake my head knowing he can’t see me surprised he knew my name.

“But I mean you do kinda owe me after getting a free peek the other night.”

“What? I didn’t-.”

“I’m joking. I’ll pick you up at six okay?”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.” He says, the line going dead.

I sit there going over what just happened.

I was going on a date with Negan. The sexy, older man that made my me feel like a teenager all over again every time he was around.

I was screwed.

I spent the time I got home from work till six getting ready. I only had an hour and a half and I was gonna use every second.

I make sure my legs were smooth as silk in the shower and my hair fixed just right. I reapply my lipstick twice, wanting it to match my pink dress. It was short sleeved and lace. Most of my back showed from the heart cut out of the fabric. It stopped mid thigh and hugged me in all the right places. I paired it with black ankle boots and a half jacket.

I was making sure I had everything when a knock came from the door.

Taking a breath I try to ignore my stomach bouncing around.

“It’s open.” I call doing a double take of how I look.

“Hot damn doll, look at you.” Negan says walking into my room like he owned it.

I try not to notice that was hot to me. Speaking of hot he was. He was dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt and a leather jacket. It was open and hanging off his body making him look even taller.

“You ready to go?” He asks smiling.

“Mmhmm.” I nod grabbing my clutch and walking past him to the door.

He stopped my his long fingers wrapping around my arm. Spinning me around to face him.

“You seem upset.”

“No.”

“Nervous?” He asks smirking.

“A little.” I admit my cheeks heating up.

“Well relax. I’ll be the fucking best fake boyfriend you've ever had.”

“Fake boyfriend?”

“Yeah, that’s what we are fucking doing right?”

“Right.” I say smiling feeling my stomach drop.

Of course this was just a fake date. What else would it be?

“Great.” He says smiling and letting go of my arm. “Any rules I need to know about? I've never done this thing before.”

“Me either.” I say letting out a snort before I can stop myself.

He lets a chuckle, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.

“Glad I’m not the only fucking one.” He says leading me out of my apartment.

“I guess we should learn some things about each other to make it believable.” I say lifting my shoulder in a shrug.

“That’s not a half bad idea. What do you want to know?”

“How do you take your coffee?”

“My coffee?”

“Yeah, every couple knows how the other takes their coffee.”

“Alright, black. And you.”

“I don’t like coffee.”

“How the fuck do you not like coffee?”

“I don’t know.” I say shrugging, a giggle escaping my mouth by the way he said it.

“Your gonna be a hard one huh?”

“I guess…” I say as we step into the elevator.

“I like a fucking challenge.”

“Well you got it…”

“So what’s the party we are heading to.”

“It’s just for my work. It’s casual, at a hotel meeting room.”

“Casual? This is how you dress fucking casual?” He asks his eyes tracing up and down my frame making my skin heat up.

Licking my lips I look away from him and shrug.

“It’s party casual.” I say not wanting him to think I did all this for him.

“Well remind me to take you to more casual parties.” He whispers in my ear.

Digging my teeth into my lip, tingles shoot up my spine when his hand lays on my lower back.

He leads me out of the elevator and through the front doors of my building, a motorcycle parked out front.

“Is that yours?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t make a lady ride a bike in a dress. That’s mine.” He says jerking his chin towards the black truck parked a few cars down.

Feeling a bit embarrassed about assuming that he was driving the bike I walk with him to the truck. He holds the door open for me as I climb into.

He jogs around the front and gets in.

“Where to princess?”

“White Lily Hotel.”

“Yes ma’am.” He says starting the truck and pulling out onto the road.

“So what is it you do?”

“Oh, I’m secretary, nothing fancy.”

“Probably more than me. I deal with kids all day.”

“You’re a teacher?” I take a guess.

“Gym teacher for mainly high school, some college from time to time.”

“That’s kinda cool.”

“Yeah right.” He says.

“Well you’re helping kids that's not a bad thing.”

“More like trying not to knock some fucking sense into them.” He says chucking, it’s a happy sound.

Smiling I turn to face him more.

“You’re not what I thought you were.”

“What did you think I fucking was?”

“Don’t know. It’s hard to tell by just looking at someone.”

“Oh you are peeping on me now? I thought the other night was the first damn time.”

“That’s not what I meant.” I say blushing.

“I guess it’s my own damn fault for not closing the fucking blinds huh?”

I nod as my answer.

“But you don’t close yours either.”

“Now whos peeping on who?”

He smirks looking at me him once again looking me up and down.

“Lucky me, I got a hot neighbor.”

Blushing I roll my eyes and look out the windshield.

“Don’t believe me?”

“Why should I? You’re my creepy neighbor.” I say making him laugh, which I quickly join.

“Well here we are.” He says pulling in front of the hotel.

“When did we meet?” I ask looking at him.

“Coffee shop, few months ago.”

“Good enough.” I say reaching for the door handle.

I stop when Negan’s hand covers mine. Turning to face him I find our noses only a few inches apart.

“Relax, stick by me and I’ll have everyone believing your mine. Any man in their right mind would be happy to have you.”

Blushing I nod and open the door getting out of the car feeling like I was about to explode with how close he was.

The musky scent of leather and the spice of his cologne was invading my senses and making it hard to think.

When my feet hit the sidewalk I look up at the building making me realize I was really here. This wasn’t a dream or in my head. I was really here with someone. Not just someone, but Negan. My sexy neighbor that made me think very dirty things. On top of that we were here pretending to be together, pretending to have been together for months and we only just had a real conversation in the past hour. Suddenly feeling dizzy, my stomach flipping, I try not to fall.

“Are we really doing this?” I ask looking at Negan as he comes to stand next to me.

“Come on darling it’s a fucking party what could go wrong?” He asks wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

“I can’t believe Maggie asked you to do this.”  

Grinning it making his dimples show he winks at me.

“Don’t act like it’s a bad plan.”

“It’s not that, it’s just I-.” I was cut off by someone calling my name.

I look to the left seeing Andrea walking up to us, her arm wrapped around her boyfriend Shane.

“I thought you said you were staying home tonight?” She says smiling at me, her eyes looking up at Negan.

I try not to react as his arm drops from my shoulder to my waist.

“I got tonight off so we decided to come.” Negan says smoothly.

“And you are?”

“Negan, her boyfriend. Nice to meet you.” He says holding his hand out to her.

“Andrea, my fiance Shane.” She says but doesn't take his hand.

Negan nods and offers his hand to Shane him taking it.

“Lets go inside before it starts to rain.” Shane says smiling.

“Sounds good.” Negan says gesturing his arm to the hotel doors.

“After you.”

Andrea gives a tight smile and walks into the hotel.

Negan leads me to the doors his mouth dropping to my ear.

“You okay?”

“I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” I whisper back honestly.

“Well just be sure to faint in my arms.” He says, winking at me then pressing his lips to my head.

My heart flutters a bit at the show of affection as we walk into the large room. It was decorated in pink and red, hearts everywhere. People moved and mingled about.

Once again Negan walks in like he owns the place, him leading me to the open bar.

“Everyone is staring.” I whisper to him.

To anyone it most likely looked like we were being cute and flirty when really I was about to head for the door.

As if Negan could since that his hand slipped into my him tangling his fingers with his.

“Well duh, you look fucking perfect in that dress.” He says smirking at me.

Blushing I duck my head as he orders me a glass of wine and him whiskey.

“So does your boss like playing matchmaker or something?” He asks leading me to a empty table.

“No, why?”

“Why else have a party for “Love day”?” He asks pointing to the banner with the words Love Day wrote on it.

“No, she just likes making sure we are relaxed. We used to have it at the office but people started having sex in closets so she moved it to the hotel.”

“Makes sense, liquor plus a beautiful woman will do that to ya.”

“I guess.” I say lifting my arm in a shrug.

“You never hooked up at any of the parties?”

“I was usually alone. The last guy I was with wasn’t big on the PDA.”

“Why the hell not? I want everyone to know your mine.”

“Wow how romantic of you.” I say taking a drink of my wine.

“Hey now don’t go getting all uptight. PDA shows everyone I fucking belong to you too.” He says sipping from his own glass.

“I guess so..” I say never really thinking about it that way.

“Come on now, we are meant to be having fun here.”

I don’t get a chance to respond when my boss Carol walks up to our table.

“Hello Y/n how are you? Who’s this?” She asks smiling then looking at Negan.

“I’m good and this is Negan my date.”

“Oh, nice to meet you.” She says holding her hand out to him.

“Same to you.” He says taking her hand giving it a quick shake. His hand then quickly returning to the back of my chair. “Some nice party huh?”

“Oh thank you. I tried to make them fun.” She says smiling making her eyes wrinkle at the sides.

“Wait you’re Y/n fucking boss?”

“Negan.” I say, smacking his leg with the back of my hand. I didn’t mind the cussing, but I didn’t want him dropping the F bomb around my boss.

Looking at me he throws his head back letting out a belting laugh.

“I did not see that coming.”

“Is there a problem?” Carol asks.

“No ma’am, there ain’t a fucking problem.” Negan says placing his drink down and standing up.

“If you’ll excuse me I’d like to take my lovely girlfriend to dance.” He says holding his hand out to me.

Blushing, I smile at her and take his hand letting him pull me to the dance floor.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?” I ask as he wraps his around my waist his other hand grabbing mine.

“You had me thinking your boss was some young thing wanting to spend the company's money and then I’m faced with that.”

“Are you saying Carol is old?” I ask taking a step away from him.

“Relax darling I didn’t mean any fucking harm by it. Just surprised is all.”

I drop the subject despite the fact I wanted to know what he meant. The fact that this was only for one night kept me from doing so.

“Let's just get through the night.” I say placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Whatever you say sweetheart.”

We dance for a few songs until they bring out the food. I get in line very aware of someone's eyes on me.

Looking up I have to resit the urge to roll my eyes when Andrea makes the point to pull Shane into a kiss.

“Wanna tell me the story of that one?” Negan asks looking at her then back at me.

“That’s Andrea, she has my life. The job I’m still working for, the car I want, the house I almost bought, she even has my boyfriend.”

Negan lifts his eyebrow as if to say explain.

“Remember the boyfriend I mentioned? You’re looking at him.”

“The one that didn’t like PDA?” He asks, looking at them doting on each other.

“Guess he didn’t like PDA with me.” I say shrugging.

The conversation drops when we get to the first buffet table. It doesn't pick up again until we reach the table.

“Thank you.” I say when Negan pulls out my chair.

Sitting down I don’t get a chance to eat as Negan’s large hand turning my face to his. He leans in close his mouth brushing my ear as he talks.

“How about me show that prick what he’s missing out on?”

“What?” I ask confused.

“Just don’t slap me.”

Pulling away he doesn't go far his lips meeting mine. I blush but don’t react shocked. His thumb brushing my cheek pulls me back to earth. I kiss him back letting my eyes close as I relax into it.

His lips are softer than I expected them gently caressing mine. It was slow as if he was easing me into it. I wrap my arms around his neck his tongue pushing over my bottom lip. My cheeks get hot when his hand runs down side settling on thigh.

When Negan pulls away I resit the urge to pull him back or even to frown. Seeing Carol standing there makes me realize she cleared her throat to get us apart. I barely remember hearing it. It reminding me I was in a room full of people not just me and Negan.

“There are rooms open if you two would like to get one.” She says making me blush, wondering how heated was our kiss.

“Thank you but I think we are gonna head on home.” Negan says smiling at her.

“Are you sure? I didn’t mean-.”

“You’re fine, it's just getting late.” He says standing up.

“Come on sweetheart.” He says smiling holding  his hand out to me.

Placing my hand in his I let him pull me up and smile at Carol.

“I’ll see you monday.” I say letting Negan pull me away from the party and back to his truck.

“It’s getting late huh?” I ask when we are back in his truck the clock reading it was barely past 10.

“It’s getting late for you, princess.” He says winking at me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t you normally go to bed around this time?”

“How do you know that?” I ask it sending a nervous feeling threw me.

“We see into each others houses. I’m sure you know when I go to bed.” he says making me realize I kinda did.

“Some time after me I’m guess.”

“11 if you must know.” He says starting the truck and pulling off.

“This is the weirdest conversation I have ever had.” I say earning a laugh.

“Yeah well that's what you get for going on a date with your sexy neighbor.”

“You think I’m sexy? Thank you.”

“Damn right I do.”

Smiling I softly push his shoulder.

“Did you have fun?” I ask after a moment of silence.

“Fun enough.” He says lifting his arm in a shrug.

“Oh sorry… I’m sure there was better ways to spend your friday night.”

“Don’t sweat it. Better than sitting at home dick in hand.”

“Oh my gosh! I didn't need to know that.” I say covering my face with him laughing.

“You know for someone who walks around there house in a t-shirt half the time you sure are shy.”

“I’m closing my blinds when I get home.”

Chuckling he pats my leg.

"I'll be sure to remind you." he says grinning making me realize he enjoyed teasing me.

Feeling a little bit better knowing that I take a breath.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why did you kiss me? I mean, you didn't have to do that."

"I got tired of you doubting yourself."

"Doubting myself? I thought you did it because of Shane?"

"Maybe that was fucking part of it but the whole night you kept saying stuff that made me realize you don't know how mind blowing sexy you are."

"I'm not sexy. I don't think I'm ugly but I'm just me."

"But you’re not. You are a whole hell of a lot more. You have an amazing body, curves in all the right places. Your eyes are gorgeous and you have a sense of humor. I'd be happy to have you in my bed."

I blush and duck my head.

"Sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you doll."

I shake my head and look up at you.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

I shrug not wanting to talk about it.

"Come on it can't be that bad."

"Everyone acts like I'm some secret closet freak in bed but I've never even had sex."

"Wait, your a virgin?" He asks, making me look out the window ashamed.

I don't answer him, not knowing what to say.

"You've really done nothing with anyone?"

I shake my head my throat tightening up.

"How the hell have you not been laid?"

I clench my fist my eyes watering. I wanted to be out of this truck and lucky for me we pulled up to my building.

"I got it from here, thanks for coming." I say hating when my voice cracked.

I quickly get out and resist the urge to run up to my apartment.

I ignored Negan's calls and texts.

I tried to move around my house like i normally would but I always felt like I was being watched. I finally close my curtains and go to bed.

I know it wasn't Negan's fault. I shouldn't have opened my mouth, but I felt judged. His voice playing over in my head asking me if I was a virgin. I try to move on with my life but I quickly realize when Andrea came in asking questions about Negan that I couldn't just pretend the night never happened.

I also realize that I more or less liked him. He was funny and charming and gorgeous. But older than me which meant he had more experience and would never be happy with me.

When my phone ringing woke me up from my nap I pick it up without looking at who it was.

"Hello?" I say my eyes still closed.

"You watching movies without me again?" Asks a smooth voice making me look at the caller ID.

Negan's name on the screen.

"Negan?" I ask wanting to hang up.

"The one and only. What are you up to?"

"Umm napping? Do you need something?"

"Yeah do me favor?"

"Umm okay?" I question, hearing a knock coming from my door.

"One second someone's at the door."

Standing up, still holding the phone to my ear, I unlock my front door and open it. I'm shocked to see Negan standing there holding a basket and roses.

"So about that favor." He says smiling.

"Umm hi." I say, dropping my arm.

"Can I come in?"

"Yes?" I say it sounding more like a question but I move out of the way nonetheless.

"You were watching a movie without me. That's a big no no." He says setting the basket on the coffee table.

"What's going on? Did Maggie put you up to this?" I ask, confused.

I close the door, getting a glance at myself in the mirror behind it.

My makeup was smeared and my hair was a rats nest.

"Why the hell would she do that?" He asks as I quickly try to detangle my hair.

I jump when Negan appears behind me.  Touching my arm he turns me to face him his thumbs brushing the smeared eyeliner away.

"You look perfect." He says lifting the corner of his mouth in a smile.

Blushing I smile back.

"So-."

"Hush. Have dinner with me, then you can ask me questions."

Lacing his fingers with mine he pulls me to the couch.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong. I just don't know why you are here."

"I'm here because I made an ass out of myself and I'm gonna fix it." He says, pulling tupperware from the basket.

It was still steaming when he opened it showing spaghetti and meatballs.

"It's been a while since I've been in the kitchen so if it tastes like shit feel free to tell me." He says, setting out plates and glasses.

"You made this?" I ask wondering what's going on.

"Fuck yeah. I’m not like most assholes. I do know how to take care of myself."

"I didn't mean that. I just want to know what's happening."

"I told you I'm righting a wrong."

"You didn't do anything."

"You mean to tell me that you've been avoiding me for the hell of it?"

"What? I haven't.. Look I know you don't like me. I made things awkward last week and I'm sorry but you don't owe me anything."

"I don't like you? Darling you had me calling you like a damn schoolgirl. I made you fucking spaghetti and you think I don't like you?" He asks looking more amused than angry.

I blush and nod, shrugging.

"I'm nothing special."

"Maybe not to you but I think you're pretty damn special."

"How? You don't even know me?" I ask looking up at him.

"No because someone wouldn't answer my damn text. But I would like to get to know you. If you want to get to know me."

"Why wouldn't I want to get to know you?”

“Few reasons, I’m older than you for one I’m a fucking jackass for another.”

“I haven't thought about the age and all men are jackasses.” I say him let outing a chuckle.

Running his hand over his face he nods.

“I guess we fucking are.”

“It’s okay, somebody has to be.”

“You’re a little smart mouth aren't you.”

“I guess so.”

“You know I've had a few ideas on what to do with that mouth of yours”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” I say blushing.

“Oh I would be more than happy to teach you.” He says lifting his glass to his mouth and taking a drink.

“Go ahead.” I say shrugging.

“What?” He asks almost choking on his wine.

“That’s why you're over here right? I wouldn’t answer your calls so you came to see if you could get the one that got away.” I say being down this once before.

“I don’t understand the turn on of being a virgin but I’ve got to lose it at some point right.”

“Whoa, hold up, Y/n I didn’t come here to fuck you. Don’t get me wrong it would tickle me fucking pink to do so but I came here because I was a dick the last time we were together. You didn’t deserve it and I’m sorry.”

“So you came here just to apologize?”

“Not just to but that was the plan yes.”

“Well apology accepted you don’t have to stay here and make me feel good about myself.” I say standing up.

“Now hold on a damn minute.” Negan says grabbing my wrist stopping me.

Setting his drink down he stands up his grip never leaving me.

“If you want me to go hell darlin’, I’ll make sure you never fucking see me again. But something tells me you want me to stay. As a friend or a lover I don’t care which. If you’re worried about me fucking you on the counter I wouldn’t do that unless you asked me to.” He says making me blush and look away from him.

He grabs my chin and makes me face him.

“But here's my two cents whatever hell they are worth. I want to know you. You've been in my head all damn week and it’s driving me fucking nuts. So let's have dinner, watch a movie, talk.”

“But you don’t really want that.”

“What the hell do you think I want? Sex? Fuck yeah I want sex but I’m a big boy. I can control myself for as long as you want me to.”

Sighing I look at the table not knowing what to say.

“You think I’m gonna get bored don’t you?”

“I know you will. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex I just want it to be right. Not late night drunk sex or first date sex, or planned… I want something that’s not real…”

“Baby doll you just want something that is real. I’ll make you a deal. One week. Put up with my ass for one week afterwards if you wanna call it off no hard feelings.”

He says smiling kindly. Not like he was trying to sell me something he seemed to really want to give it a try. Whatever it was.

“A week of what?”

“Whatever you want.”

“A relationship…?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Why, why do all this for me?”

“Because I saw something in you and I wanna keep around for a while.”

“One week?” I ask not seeing the harm in one week.

“One week.”

“Okay.” I say earning a grin the one that makes his dimples dig into his cheeks.

After dinner Negan left but not before he kissed me goodbye. It was similar to the first one. Soft and sweet as if he didn’t want to break me. It was a contrast to his personality but I didn’t mind it. I actually enjoyed not having someone's tongue shoved down my throat.

The next day Negan took me out to a “real dinner” to his favorite diner. He was clearly relaxed there and it showed. I had fun watching him cut up with the cook and even more fun when he pulled me into a kiss.

He called me every night to tell me when he was going to bed. It always ending with him telling me to dream about him. I don’t know why but I felt like he enjoyed having someone to talk to just as much as I did.

I told Maggie about it because I had to her coming over Tuesday when Negan was there. She later texted me wedding plans saying me and Negan would make cute babies.

When Negan invited me over to his place Wednesday night I was nervous. Telling myself that he was already bored and ready to call this off. But when I walked into his open floor plan apartment I was shocked to find him in dressed in an apron.

“What’s going on?” I ask walking in and letting him take my jacket.

“I thought we could spend a night in if that’s okay with you.” He says his lips brushing my neck as he pulls it down my arms.

“Hey you said a whole sentence without saying fuck I’m proud.” I say earning a playful glare which I giggle to.

“So why am I dressed in clothes I can ‘get dirty in’?” I ask quoting the text he sent me at lunch.

“Because I’m going to teach you how to cook.”

“I know how to cook.”

“Cook something good.”

Sticking my tongue out at him, I follow him over to the kitchen realizing he is barefoot.

“Should I have taken my shoes off.”

“If that’s what you fucking want.”

“I’ma take my shoes off.” I say going back to the door and slipping my sneakers off.

“So what are we making?” I ask taking the apron he hands me.

“Kabobs.” He says helping me tie my apron behind my back.

“Sounds fun.”

“Do you want to chop the veggies or the meat?”

“I think I’ll take the veggies.”

“So I’ll handle the meat.” He says winking my cheeks tinting.

“Your a child.” I say earning a laugh.

“Yeah just like that.” Negan says looking over my shoulder as I start making my first kabob.

“So what made you pick this?” I ask picking up a pepper.

“It’s funny. I normally do it when the fucking games on to pass the time.”

“You are so much more down to earth then I thought.”

“Well fucking thanks.”

“No, I just mean I expected a player or something but you have these little nuggets of sweet in there.” I say bumping him with my hip.

“I’ll fucking take that.” He says picking up a pepper it braking when he tries to put it on his stick.

I let out a snort then a yelp when he throws it at me.

“No. We are not having a food fight.” I say throwing a mushroom at him.

“What if we fucking do?” He asks smirking throwing a cube of stake at me.

I squeal when it smacks my cheek getting marinade on my face.

“You smacked me with meat?” I ask before I think about it Negan’s face lighting when I do.

“I didn’t mean that!” I say as he starts laughing loudly.

“Negan stop.” I say my cheeks hot.

“I slapped you with meat and my dick was still in my pants.” He says belting out a laugh.

“Negan…” I say smiling despite the want to.

“That’s fucking great.” He says smacking his leg bent over.

“I have stuff on my face.” I say wiping at it.

“Let me see.” he says still chuckling but at least standing up.

Picking up a rag he brings it to my face but quickly moves down to lick my cheek making me blush and start laughing.

“That was so gross.”

“You fucking liked it.” He says wrapping his arms around me pinning my arms down and trapping me.

“Says you.”

“I could lick something else.” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes my heart picking up. Unable to go anywhere, not that I would want to, I accept the kiss pressed to my mouth.

Kissing him back him, he takes my bottom lip between his. One thing I've noticed is his kiss goes a little farther everytime he does it.

When his tongue brushes over my lip I timidly meet his with mine. The taste of spices and tonights choice of scotch fills my mouth as his tongue does. When his grip moves to settle around my waist, I wrap my arms around his neck. Pulling away from me he presses his forehead to mine letting us take a breath.

“We should finish dinner.” He mumbles clenching his jaw.

“Do we have to?” I ask, my stomach full of butterflies.

“Fuck no.”

Blushing I press my lips back to his, him reaching down to pick me up to carry me to his room  for the night.

It wasn’t late night drunk sex, or first date sex and sure as hell wasn’t planned sex, but despite all that it was better than anything I could have wished for.

Something that turned into a one night fake date then to a week trail ended being the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t ask for it to happen any other way.

[welllpthisishappening]

Happy new year! How long do we say happy new year?! I hope you had a great one. Prompt: I want to see Pegs birth and the terrifying ordeal Emma alluded to

I’ll gladly accept your happy new year on a perpetual loop anon. And return you your own happy new year here on January 18th. So I wrote this a couple days ago, there’s some angst and the Vankalds are heavily featured and the Google Doc name was “DRAMATIC BABIES.” That’s about all there is to it. If you missed the set-up for the aforementioned “DRAMATIC BABIES” it’s here, with Emma and Killian and hockey laces. 

“If you don’t stop staring at me and then pretending you’re not actually staring at me, I may scream.”

Anna flushed, eyes widening to a size that would have been comical if Emma weren’t certain several different parts of her spine were in the process of staging open rebellion against the rest of her body.

“Told you,” Elsa mumbled, digging the heel of her foot into Anna’s outstretched leg. “And, Emma, you can’t yell, that’s definitely not soothing.”

Emma exhaled loudly, letting her head loll back on the couch in the brownstone living room. She could dimly make out noise from the kitchen, a variety of doors opening and closing and footsteps padding across the floor. And, honestly, she wasn’t really all that surprised.

She was as unsurprised as a 38-weeks pregnant human female with an overly interfering family and on-the-road hockey-playing husband could be.

So, not a lot.

Like none. At all.

“Did he leave a handwritten list of instructions?” Emma asked, not bothering to take her eyes off the TV in front of her. “Or just generic threats?”

Elsa scoffed. And they’d dropped the puck in D.C. “Both.”

“We told him he was being an idiot,” Anna added. She leaned forward, grabbing a bowl of something that Mrs. Vankald had given them before and that didn’t surprise Emma either.

There was enough food in that brownstone to feed several armies of expectant mothers. And two quasi-sisters who suspiciously showed up in New York several days ahead of schedule.

Emma hummed noncommittally, doing her best to move without making it obvious. It didn’t work. She hadn’t really expected it to – but she still didn’t appreciate the quick glance Elsa and Anna shared, far too knowing and far too obvious and Killian hit somebody into the boards.

She gasped.

She hadn’t meant to do that.

Elsa and Anna moved at the same time. The chips nearly ended up on the floor.

“Mrs. V will be frustrated if you get crumbs everywhere,” Emma muttered, well aware that it was a lie. Elsa’s lips twitched.

“Please, she’ll still thank you for being here.”

“I’m not sure that even makes sense.”

“I’m not sure anything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours has made much sense,” Elsa admitted with a shrug and a smile. “Particularly the amount of nonsense KJ has spewed over text message since they landed in D.C.”

“Idiot,” Anna repeated. Her gaze was fixed on the game though and Emma wasn’t sure if it had something to do with that and the very obvious turnover in the neutral zone or the impending arrival of their second kid and it could not have been good for her spine to keep feeling like this.

Elsa grabbed a handful of chips. “She means that in a nice way. And she promises to stop staring at you. Trust me, it’s making us all uncomfortable.”

Emma wasn’t sure what sound she made – her own scoff and a bit of laughter and maybe a hint of frustration because the Rangers had already missed the net wide left twice. She felt her lips quirk up anyway though, more footsteps coming from the kitchen and several bags near the bottom of the stairs because Mr. Vankald absolutely refused to hear even the suggestion of Emma and Matt staying uptown.

It was overprotective.

It was interfering.

It was nice.

Killian had definitely told Elsa and Anna to come home early.

“You didn’t have to fly here to be babysit me, you know,” Emma said, slumping further into the corner of the couch and grabbing the nearest pillow to hug against her chest.

Elsa glanced at Anna again – different than the almost too clear worry it had been before. It was more...Emma wasn’t sure what the word was, and if her spine hadn’t felt as if it were twisted into several different knots, she probably would have been concerned by her inability to come up with descriptions for anything except the Rangers offensive attack.

It looked a little protective.

“Please,” Anna objected. “This is not babysitting. And it wasn’t really much of a conversation.”

“He barely even got the words out,” Elsa added.

Emma blinked. And tightened her hold on the pillow. “Wait, what?”

Another pointed glance, more footsteps and the puck stuck against the boards in the zone.

“Didn’t…” Emma continued, snapping her head back and forth between either Vankald sister. They both reached their hands out to stop her. Nice. Honestly, nice was the best word. “I’m very confused.”

“And pregnant,” Elsa grinned.

“Were you worried I wasn’t aware of that?”

“No, no, but—ok, it’s not like KJ didn’t suggest that we—“

“—Babysit me?”

“Can we stop using that word?” Anna asked. “It’s really not. Gina is babysitting. That’s the correct usage.”

“That’s true,” Emma admitted, well aware of a schedule that included the Museum of Natural History and dinosaur bones and, likely, far too many onion rings already.

“It’s not babysitting,” Elsa promised. She leaned into Emma’s space, tugging lightly on the few inches of pillow that weren’t already being twisted with a hint of nervous energy.

It was probably because of the game.

Not the kid.

They were ready for the kid. Just—maybe, after the game.

“Did you offer to come here?” Emma asked bluntly, eyes darting towards Anna when she all but cackled. “El, don’t you have a job?”

Elsa grimaced, squeezing one eye shut and Anna’s laugh got louder. “State government basically shuts down in December.”

“Basically.”

“Basically.”

“And you—“

“KJ was freaking out,” she said, waving both hands as if that was an explanation and Emma’s smile didn’t feel as unnatural as it probably should of. “I’m honestly surprised he didn’t break, like—“

“—At least twenty-seven sticks, trying to shoot out his frustration,” Anna cut in.

“And that’s low-balling it, really. So, well, he didn’t really ask, but we didn’t really—“

“—Give him a chance.”

“Anna, I swear, if you don’t let me finish...”

Anna grinned. “It was El’s idea,” she whispered, another handful of chips and a flash in her eyes that every person who grew up in that brownstone was frustratingly good at doing.

Emma felt her jaw drop, smile morphing into something that still wasn’t really surprise, but might have been closer to gratitude and a bit like being checked into the boards. Or scoring. That was a better analogy.

She wished the Rangers would hit the goddamn net.

“Was it?”

Elsa shook her head, ignoring whatever sound Anna made in the back of her throat. “I mean—not entirely. It was kind of a joint effort from all of us and—“

‘’—wait, wait, all of us?”

“You’re as bad at interrupting as Anna is.”

“God, I feel like you’re going to ground me.”

Anna laughed again. “We talked about it,” she said. “You know, in detail. And Liam couldn’t leave early because the Avs had some prospect coming in they wanted him to look at, but, like I said, it was totally El’s idea. Also, KJ totally wouldn’t leave otherwise.”

“What?”

Elsa and Anna stared at her. “Are you kidding me?” Anna balked, jumping off the couch.

“It’s early,” Emma reasoned. “We’ve still got—like, a week and a half and it’s—everything is fine and nothing is going to—“

She cut herself off, teeth finding her lower lip at the same time she squeezed her eyes shot. And everything felt like it stopped and started, all at the same time, an impossible moment of slow and fast and good and bad and—

“Fucking, fuck,” Emma hissed. “That is…that is so goddamn, fucking…stupid.”

It was honestly disappointing she couldn’t come up with a better word.

Emma took a deep breath, eyes still closed and she could hear the sounds coming from the game, doing her best to time her pulse up with the announcers. It absolutely did not work.

It hurt like hell.

A week and a half early.

“Damnit,” she grumbled, not letting go of her lip and that was a mistake. She could taste blood in her mouth. “We should, um—do you guys know where my phone is?”

She opened her eyes.

Elsa was already moving – a picture of mom-like efficiency and experience, shouting for Mrs. Vankald and bags – while Anna’s fingers flew across the phone in her hand. Neither one of them answered Emma.

“Yeah, yeah,” Elsa said distractedly, grabbing a different phone out of somewhere and pressing it to her ear. “Well, get him of the ice!”

“Who is she talking to?” Emma asked. No one answered her. She growled, the sound scratching at the back of her throat, but that was partially from frustration and mostly because she was in goddamn labor and Anna yelped when the pillow collided with her back. “Who is Elsa talking to?”

Anna picked up the pillow. “Ariel. Who was on—El, what did we call it?”

“Make sure KJ gets off the fucking ice when he has to duty.”

“That’s not what we called it.”

Emma’s laugh turned into a groan far quicker than she wanted it, gritting her teeth and trying to keep oxygen flowing to several major organs. Mr. Vankald appeared in the living room, coats draped over one arm and his right shoulder and there was a bag in his left hand.

And they all froze when Emma whimpered.

“Oh shit, that hurt,” Emma breathed, twisting again to try and dig her hand into the small of her back.

She’d done this before – at an entirely inopportune time as well, but she couldn’t remember it hurting quite that much or quite so suddenly and Killian was in Washington D.C.

“Shit,” she said again. The floor creaked when Mr. Vankald moved, an impossible shift of the several thousand things he was holding to brush his thumb under Emma’s eye and there was a tear there.

“We’re going to get a car,” he said. “We’re going to get to a hospital. Killian is going to get off the ice. And everything is going to be fine. Understood?”

Emma nodded, not sure there was another choice. And, for a solid, forty-two minutes she absolutely believed him.

For a solid forty-two minutes there was no reason not to.

Until the doctor walked in and she hadn’t talked to Killian yet and they needed to figure out where Matt was going to stay and—

“What do you mean breech?”

“The baby is still—“

“—Still?”

The doctor didn’t flinch, didn’t blink, which was almost unnerving since Emma couldn’t seem to stop blinking and Elsa hissed when she gripped her hand too tightly. “Oh, shit, shit, sorry, El, that’s—“

“It’s fine,” Elsa promised, squeezing back slightly in something that was probably supposed to be comforting. That, however, was proving more and more difficult to trust when the Vankalds kept sharing one phone, muttered curses and increasingly pointed commands and Emma was having a difficult time breathing.

“Ok, ok, you said still?” Emma asked, clicking her teeth when the doctor nodded. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“It means, unfortunately, that what we talked about at your last exam will—“

Emma hissed again, Elsa’s response turning decidedly non-English. “What happened at the last exam?”

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said, shaking her head and that was fair. She’d probably never faced the collective wrath of a professional hockey team and its extended family. “You are..”

“Emma’s sister.”

“Oh, that was nice, El,” Emma mumbled. She’d closed her eyes again.

“And true. You’re totally ours now.”

“In a way that does not sound as creepy as that,” Anna said, taking a step into the room with a phone held loosely in her hand and a self-satisfied smile on her face. “I come bearing terrified husband.”

The doctor looked stunned.

“Emma!”

“Oh my God, KJ, you can’t actually jump through the phone.”

“Shut up, Banana.”

She rolled her eyes, twisting around the still-stunned doctor and the beeping machines and Emma’s lungs appreciated the oxygen she provided them as soon as her fingers curled around the phone. “Hey,” she muttered, and it was probably wrong to appreciate whatever his face did at that.

“Are you ok?”

“Just bypassed cordiality completely, huh?”

“Emma.”

“That’s a yes.”

“I’m serious,” Killian said. His hair wasn’t damp, which gave her pause, but not nearly as much as the background of wherever he was calling from.

“Where are you?”

“Some terminal.” Emma tilted her head. And blinked. And squeezed Elsa’s hand when another flush of pain rushed up her questionably in-tact spine. “Swan,” Killian snapped, eyes wide and terror practically palpable. “What’s going on?”

“Where are you?”

She paused between every word for emphasis – and possibly because the lingering twists of pain in between her hips made it difficult to do anything else, but Emma was not gong to admit to any of that and she was impossibly stubborn.

Killian thought it was a girl.

She hoped it was a girl.

He’d probably lose his mind over a girl.

“Terminal C if you want to be specific,” Ariel answered, pushing into the frame with an authority that was the least surprising thing that had happened all day. “We’re in a terminal. And waiting.”

“Impatiently,” Killian grumbled.

“We’re setting records for impatience, honestly.”

“A terminal seems good, doesn’t it?” Emma asked. She’d blame labor for her lack of comprehension. And the word breech flashing in front of her gaze.

Ariel hummed. “We’re on our way back. Or, well, at least trying. It’s just—not a lot of options and I think we’re going to have to fly to Philly first.”

“We’re just trying to get out of here,” Killian said. “But there’s—“

“—It’s snowing and our choices are limited.”

Killian sighed, soft and defeated and Emma’s heart lurched. That hurt too. Everything hurt.

They were supposed to have a week and a half.

“What’s going on, love?” he asked, ignoring Ariel’s half-hearted protests when he turned the phone back.

Emma licked her lips, far too dry because, she assumed, hospital air was a lot like airport air and everything felt recirculated and a little fake. She assumed that would be different if he were there.

What a sap.

She was going to use labor as the excuse again.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen yet.”

That was not the answer Emma had planned on. At all. That was the opposite of the answer because she knew that answer would only end in guilt and disappointment and she wished someone put the game on.

She hoped they were winning.

“I’m sorry, love,” Killian said, another endearment that only inspired more sighing and licked lips.

Emma did her best to smile. It didn’t work. “Not your fault.”

“i didn’t want to go.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“How long did it take for them to give me up?”

“Few seconds after puck drop.”

His answering laugh lacked any bit of humor, but Emma’s lips quirked anyway and that was as close to a smile as she was going to get. “Did you talk to the doctor yet? Is there—“

The doctor coughed pointedly, leaning forward like she was waiting for her cue. “Uh, is that Mr. Jones?”

Emma nodded. “He’s in D.C. now, but—“

“On our way,” Killian finished, and Elsa gave Emma’s hand another squeeze. “What’s…it should only be a few hours, what’s going on?”

“Well, I’m afraid we don’t have that much time.”

Emma dropped the phone.

“Swan!”

Elsa gasped at the vice-like grip on her hand, but didn’t make any more noise, just grabbed the phone and widened her eyes at Killian. Glared, that was the word. “That’s not helping, KJ,” she said.

“What is going on?”

The doctor coughed again. There were not enough pillows on that hospital bed. “As I was telling Mrs. Jones, unfortunately the baby is breech, as we saw at the last ultrasound and that hasn’t changed.”

“Was it supposed to?”

“It happens naturally sometimes and we did try a few things in the last few weeks, but, as I said, unfortunately…”

“Oh my God, can we stop using that word?” Emma yelled, drawing quick stares and a quiet chuckle from D.C. that absolutely wasn’t Killian.

He was far too busy staring at her anyway.

“It really is kind of foreboding,” Anna mumbled. She walked further into the room, dropping onto the edge of the bed with a confidence that didn’t feel forced. “You’ve got to blink, KJ, otherwise your eyes will fall out.”

“I don’t know that you’ve got the science to back that up, Banana.”

Anna shrugged. “There’s a doctor here. Who I’m sure will agree with me as soon as she tells us what has to happen next. Right?”

The doctor startled under the force of Anna’s gaze – demanding and as unblinking as Killian’s had been a moment before. “We’ll have to deliver cesarean,” she said. “And we’d like to get Mrs. Jones in the operating room as soon as possible.”

Killian dropped the phone that time.

That put them on even ground. Or, ice. Elsa absolutely was not speaking English, texting someone with her left hand that Emma only kind of hoped was Regina.

“The baby is full-term,” the doctor continued, seemingly unperturbed by the stunned silence around her, “and healthy, so there shouldn’t be too many risks, but it is surgery and…”

Emma didn’t hear the rest, the buzzing in her ears too loud. She swallowed instead, doing her best to sink back into the pillows, like that would make any of it easier or help her invent technology that could help impatient and worried NHL players teleport across several thousand miles.

“It’s going to be ok, Emma.”

“You might want to try that again if you want me to believe it.”

Killian exhaled, that same flash to his eyes when he glanced up from under his lashes. “I don’t know why I don’t know how to fly a plane.”

“I wouldn’t want you to do that in the snow.”

“I may walk there.”

“Impractical.”

“It’d take too long anyway.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Emma said, nearly laughing. “I really, really want you here.”

“I really, really want to be there.”

“I know that.”

And she did – with every bit of her and every cell that was absolutely, positively ignoring the doctor because whatever the doctor was saying was vaguely terrifying.  Killian’s lips twitched, free hand in his hair. “Red may strangle half a dozen league officials. Took ‘em forever to get me off the ice.”

“Absolute assholes,” Ariel added.

Emma nodded, not sure if it was an actual agreement or, simply, an attempt at misplaced confidence. “This is totally normal. Right?”

“For us?” Killian asked.

“And the medicine.”

“The medicine is fine, love,” he promised, but it felt a little hollow again. Emma felt a little hollow. The word surgery freaked her out.

“We’d like to get you prepped as soon as possible, Mrs. Jones.”

Emma swallowed, nearly pulling her lips into her throat in the process, and the doctor did look confident. That helped. Probably. Hopefully.

The lack of teleportation was disappointing.

“Ok,” she whispered. Elsa and Anna were exchanging meaningful glances again. “Ok, ok, um—I love you.”

Killian smiled. Not huge. No entirely confident. But it was there. And Emma knew he’d walk to the city if he had to.

“I love you too, Swan. I’m going to be there as soon as I can.”

The next few hours passed in a swirl of florescent lights and anesthesia, heavy eyelids and sluggish muscles and Emma didn’t remember being rolled back into her room, but she did notice the shadow slumped in the nearest chair.

It took less than a full second for her eyes to flutter shut again.

They’d tell her eventually, there’d been moments that were less-than-perfect, incisions and more blood than they expected, but Emma could still feel the wave of exhaustion lingering over her and when she woke up, again, there was barely any light in the room, just beeping machines and a baby that she dimly remembered crying very loudly as soon as she came into the world.

Emma groaned, twisting against the hospital mattress and the shadow moved. Jumped, rather.

He jumped up, nearly knocking the chair over in the process and she didn’t mean to laugh.

She didn’t really laugh – was far too sore and far too tired, but it was a valiant attempt because Killian was wearing a shirt that absolutely wasn’t his and team-branded sweats and—

“How long have you been here?”

He exhaled again, like he was only remembering how to breath, ducking his head and pressing his lips to her hair. “Not long. Are you—God.”

The next breath stuttered out of him, shaky and worried was not the right word. Terrified. He sounded terrified, a sheen to him that wasn’t a product of less than a full period on the ice.

Killian’s whole body shuddered when he moved again and Emma couldn’t actually move her arm much, but she let her fingers brush over the back of the hand gripping the sheets. “I love you,” Emma whispered. “We’re ok.”

“We?”

“We. Did you talk to Mattie?”

“For a few minutes. He went home with Gina. They’ll—they’ll be here tomorrow and Mary Margaret’s been calling me non-stop. David wanted to come down here, but Leo’s been coughing and—“

“—El and Anna were here,” Emma interrupted. “I was ok.”

“Are ok,” he corrected, and it felt important. Like he had to keep saying it.

“Currently. Still.”

Killian took another deep breath, burrowing a bit closer to Emma’s ear. “I shouldn’t have gone.”

“We were supposed to have a week and a half, you had to go.”

“I didn’t want to.”

“I know that too,” Emma promised. “I wasn’t by myself. It was—“

“—Do not tell me it was fine, Swan. It was not fine.”

She scoffed, but that edge was back in his voice and she was a little concerned he’d actually walked there. “Did you drive here? Is that what happened?”

“Swan.”

“Killian.”

It took, by her admittedly exhausted, just-had-a-baby account, precisely, one inhale, three blinks and two brushes of his lips over her cheek before he responded. “Red did her best to intimidate several ticket agents for a variety of major airlines. But, well, it’s snowing here and there were delays and it’s ridiculous because we looked up flights out of Dulles and Reagan, but…” He kissed her again. “God, I was terrified. Yeah, we drove her. Probably in record time.”

“Do you think Ariel’s blood pressure will ever return to a normal, human level.”

“I’m not sure mine will, honestly.”

Emma tilted her head up, not at all surprised when she felt his answering smile press against her mouth. “I’m glad you didn’t walk.”

“I considered it.”

“Doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“Is—everything, with—“

Killian trailed off, leaning back and Emma didn’t entirely understand. That lasted less than one slightly dramatic gasp. “Oh, oh, yeah, she’s…”

“Presumably perfect.”

“They didn’t tell you?”

He clicked his tongue. “I was a little one-tracked and I wanted to make sure everything was ok and everyone just kept promising that it was.”“I hate to tell you this, but it doesn’t seem like you believed them.”“I wanted to make sure.”“We’re ok. This time it’s me promising and she’s got very good lungs.

And that smile was all right and more, some kind of metaphorical light and willingness to walk thousands of miles and Emma swore she could almost see the tension fall off him, bits and pieces landing on the hospital floor next to the wires for machines that were only kind of terrifying.

“I love you,” Killian said, muttering the words against her skin and behind her ear. Ghosting them over her hair and the jut of her chin and it lasted too long and not enough, the threat of sleep tugging at the back of Emma’s mind again.

“Go to sleep, Emma,” he continued. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He didn’t. And when she woke up again, her own lungs a little more human and eyes not quite feeling like weights, the shadow in the chair had changed clothes, his hair a little damp with a baby in his arms and a family waiting at the other end of the hall.

[swervestrickland]

Cowboy Shit 3

1,582 words

(Note from Emi robwiethoff: not mine! just a lovely submission from an anonymous source!)

“So, things between and that cowboy are pretty serious, huh?” Cassidy asked you, before taking another sip of his vodka and orange.

You nodded, “Yeah, I’d say so. Why?”

“You’re always wearing cowboy boots now.”

“I run a western themed bar.”

“Yeah, but you almost never wore them before he moved into town.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, “I didn’t think you noticed those types of things.”

“You know I liked you, Eliana. That was never a secret.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Despite the fact you had rejected him twice, he didn’t stop coming to the bar. The man who asked you out was Joey, and when you turned him down, he stopped coming to the bar altogether. Cassidy surprised you, since you guessed he would angry and never want to talk to you again. But he never once gave you shit for rejecting him, and he was never weird to you.

“Where is he tonight anyways?”

Hangman always came to the bar every night. Sometimes he would come early, around four or five, sometimes he came later, like at nine or ten. It usually depended on how much he had to grade. But it was nearing midnight now, and you should’ve been getting ready to close up.

You ended up closing the bar at one in the morning, realizing that he wasn’t coming tonight. You sighed as you locked up the bar, knowing that you’re going to have to walk home alone. You had done it all the time before Hangman became your boyfriend, but you didn’t want to be lonely, and you were missing him.

As you withdrew your key from the door and shoved it into your pocket, suddenly a rope was thrown over you, and you were caught in a lasso. You shrieked at the culprit, who pulled you towards him with the rope, hugging you from behind.

“Yeehaw!” Hangman cheered, making you shake your head at him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked, trying to hold back your laughter. You wrapped your arms around him, just deciding to take him for what he is: a clown.

“It’s good to see you,” he said, letting the rope fall before he picked it up, freeing you.

“I’d say it’s good to see you too, but I’m pretty sure you just tried to lasso me and kill me,” you replied, “I’m kidding, I missed you. Where have you been?”

He groaned, “The school says I had to assign essays and I also get the pleasure of reading thirty 5-page essays written by ten year olds. I was gonna take a break and come see you earlier, but I knew it’d never get graded if I did. So I finished up.”

“Yeah? Were you wearing your glasses when you read them?”

“Yeah.”

“Nerdy cowboy,” you teased him.

He blushed, “You want me to walk you home or not?”

“How’d you know that I was gonna close up late?”

“I guessed. Besides, it’s on the way so I would’ve had to have passed it anyways. Aw, were you waiting for me?”

Now it was your turn to blush, “Perhaps.”

He grinned, “Yeehaw!”

“Oh, shut up, Hangman.”

“Make me.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before you grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pulled him down. You kissed him, moving your hands to his neck. He kissed back, his hands meeting your hips like they always did. You pulled away shortly, wanting to get home already.

“It’s cold,” you said, looking at how differently you were dressed. Shorts and cowboy boots became your thing, but now your legs were getting cold and you wanted the comfort of your home.

“Nice legs,” he smirked at you. “Let’s go.”

The two of you walked together, fingers laced together, chatting about how ridiculous some of his students’ essays were. You could tell that he at least had fun reading them, given that five pages is a lot for kids to write, most of the essays went off course.

When you reached your house, Hangman stepped back, seemingly ready to leave. You frowned, wanting him to stay, hoping he would spend some time with you.

“You wanna go home?” You asked him.

“It’s kind of late, Ellie. I don’t exactly want to walk home at two or three in the morning.”

“You could stay here,” you suggested, your voice quiet. You held the door open for him, and he hesitated before he walked in with you. You shut the door behind him, before taking off your cowboy boots. He took his off as well before walking towards you. You threw your arms around him, resting your head on his comfortable chest.

“Adam,” you started, your voice weak. “I have to tell you something.” You only ever called him Adam when things were very serious, or when you two were having sex. You could never bring yourself to moan out “Hangman!”

He raised his eyebrows at you, “Okay. Let me go to the bathroom first though.”

You nodded, and he let go of you to head into your bathroom. You sat down on your couch, hiding your face in your hands. How the hell were you going to tell him? Was it even true? You didn’t even know at this point. When Adam left the bathroom, he held up the positive pregnancy test, an angry scowl on his face.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“Adam, I was about to, I-”

“Who the fuck is the father?”

Your jaw dropped, “Do you really have to ask me that? Adam, come on. Seriously?”

“Last I checked, we were always safe. Eliana, if there’s something you have to tell me, then you better tell me right now.”

“You’re the only person I’ve been with this whole year. How could you doubt me?”

He shook his head, reaching to put his boots on. The way he glared at you made your heart break. You sighed, feeling your eyes water as you looked at him.

“Don’t leave, Adam, please. I need you,” you begged.

“Go fuck yourself,” he snapped at you, slamming the door as he left. You let the tears fall, feeling your heart shatter. How could he not trust you? After all the time you’ve spent together?

The next day, as you opened the bar at four pm, you angrily made your way inside, wiping down the tables as aggressively as possible. You were pissed. You love Hangman, he was sweet and endearing. He always tried to make you smile. But no, that’s all gone to shit. Why on earth would he ever think you would cheat on him? Yes, two had almost always used protection, but you did slip up a couple of times when you were too in the moment to worry about the condom. “I’ll just pull out” doesn’t really work.

You heard the door open, so you sighed, “We aren’t open yet, come back in half an hour.” You dropped the rag, turning to see who it was. You glared at Hangman, before looking away from him.

“What do you want, Adam? If you’re just gonna accuse me of being a cheat again, you better get your ass outta here,” you snapped.

“I’m so sorry, Eliana. I do trust you, I don’t think you would cheat on me. I’m sorry for implying that. I just panicked, and I thought we were always safe, and I’m really sorry. I’ve been thinking, and maybe you being pregnant is a good thing. I love you Ellie, and if this is the next step for us, then so be it. I’ll be with you every step of the way, sweetheart. We’re in this together.”

You faked a smile, “That’s very sweet, but I’m not pregnant. After you left last night I took another test, and it was negative. This morning I took another, and it was negative. And I took a fourth before I left. Negative. I’m not gonna pretend that you didn’t hurt my feelings last night. Fuck, Adam, I’m freaked out enough as is, and then you abandon me? I love you, and I want to be with you, but you broke my heart last night when you left.”

“Sweetheart, I broke mine too. I’m really sorry, El. I promise you I won’t doubt you again.”

“You better not. Or else I’m gonna take your rope and tie you up right outside the bar. Maybe I’ll bring a paddle. Spank the cowboy clown. $1 per spank,” you joked, smirking at him.

He chuckled, “You would never.”

“It would bring me a lot of money. Bet all of your students would love to kick your ass if you didn’t give them good grades on their essays. I’d be rich!”

“So… do you forgive me? Cause Ellie, I’d do that if that’s what it takes.”

You shook your head at him, “I’m not gonna hurt you, Hangman. You know that. I love you, and I sure as hell don’t want to lose you. So yeah, you are forgiven.”

He grinned, before leaning down to kiss you. You held him tightly, gasping in surprise when he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You’ve got half an hour until I have to open shop. Let me lock the door,” you mumbled, resting your head against his neck. His hand moved up your thigh, to your ass, and he pulled you key out of your back pocket. He walked over to the door, still carrying you, as he locked the bar.

“I think you should save a horse,” Hangman grinned.

You giggled, “You’re such an idiot.”

“Ride em’ cowgirl!”

_____

YOU HAD ME SO WORRIED OMG I WAS SO SCARED BUT THEN IT WAS FLUFFY AGAIN THANK YOU SLDKFJSDLKFJSLDKFJSDLKJFSHSHS

[sweatersexual]

Hearts Keep Racing

Starting a new relationship right now can't be a good idea. But then, Ed always did have the worst timing.

Written for @edweenweek Day 5: AU

It really wasn't much of a coincidence that Winry should run into one of her clients in the Ouroboros Clinic's waiting room. It was one of the best used providers in their network, after all. And it was nice to see Ed again.

Winry had long since lost contact with her grade-school pal, only to reconnect when she’d fitted him with a new prosthetic about a year ago. They'd friended each other on Facebook since then and commented on each other's posts a few times, though Ed wasn't on Facebook all that much. Still, he was just as bold and brainy as Winry had remembered him.

Winry waved him over as he walked into the waiting room. Ed waved back with a casted right arm. Winry was sure the story behind that cast would be entertaining.

“Hey Winry,” he greeted her, with a glance to Winry's baby bump. “Wow, I guess congratulations are in order?”

At six months pregnant, Winry was starting to get tired of that being the first thing people brought up. Still, she tried to be gracious about it. “Thanks, Ed.”

“Is it weird if I touch your belly?” Ed asked as he took the seat next to her. “I mean, if it's okay with you . . .”

“Yeah, here.” She took his uncasted hand and laid it just above her belly button. “It's sweet of you to ask. Most people just grab me.”

“Ugh, people are jerks.” And then, as the baby kicked, “Wow, there's really a baby in there!”

Winry laughed. “You don't say?”

“Sorry, I'm not trying to be a complete dweeb. I just think the whole pregnancy-new-life thing is really cool. Like, there's a whole other person inside you. That you made. It's fucking incredible.”

“Aw.” Winry hadn't been expecting this behavior from Ed of all people. It was refreshing to see such a brash personality gush over the miracle of life. “You’re terrible at convincing me you're not a dweeb.”

Ed rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You got any names for this tiny fucking miracle?”

“I'm still mulling over my options.”

“You should call it something kickass, like Puma or Diesel.”

“Oh god. Promise me you'll never have children, Ed.”

“Never say never.”

“So what's with the cast?” asked Winry.

“Oh yeah. Would you believe I broke my wrist fighting a dragon?”

“What?”

“Yeah, you know those Chinese costumes with like ten people inside it? I thought my brother was hiding in there.”

“So you tried to beat up the whole dragon?”

“Nah, I tried to tackle what I thought were his legs. Which was really kind of stupid, but my impulse control sucks sometimes. So I tripped up the dragon and one of the guys fell on my arm. As far as wrist-breaking stories go, there are definitely more embarrassing ones.”

“I guess so.”

“I'd ask you to sign my cast, but I came here to get it off, so I guess there's not much point.”

It didn't look like there was any room left on the cast to sign it, covered as it was with red and black signatures, doodles, and even a few chemical equations. “Eh,” said Winry. “I already signed your leg anyway.”

“True, true,” Ed said with a laugh.

Winry's doctor was ready to see her before Ed's was to see him. When her checkup was finished, she briefly took a seat to check her email. She had just finished writing a reply to Garfiel when Ed sat next to her.

"Yech," he said. "I hate how gross your skin feels after a cast comes off." He rubbed his right arm.

"Don't pick at it," said Winry. "You'll irritate the skin."

"I'm not. I'm just trying to relax these muscles. It's so stiff."

"Your doctor showed you wrist exercises to build up your strength, right?"

"Yeah. They hurt, though."

She shrugged. "They'll hurt less the more you do them."

He snorted. "You know, for a healthcare provider, you're pretty indifferent to my pain."

"What do I get for kissing every little boo boo?" Winry asked with a smirk. She and Ed both knew that he only liked to whine about the little things. If he were really hurt, he'd pretend he was completely fine. "You're not my client right now."

"You're such a mercenary," Ed grumbled. "So how'd the checkup go?"

"Good," said Winry. "We're both healthy and hitting all the milestones. Doctor Briggs just prescribed me some folic acid."

"Nice," Ed said. "Hey, you wanna get lunch or something? I've got some time to kill before Al comes to pick me up. Doctor Knox says I'm still not good to drive for a few more days."

"You haven't been allowed to drive?" asked Winry. "You must be hating that." He was such an independent person, it had to be driving him crazy.

"You have no idea," Ed groaned. "Public transportation sucks and Al won't let me bend the rules. He hid my car keys!"

Winry laughed. "Sounds like Al."

They ended up going to the Applebee's around the corner. Winry had been eating there more since she got pregnant than she had in her entire life. She'd been craving ribs and Applebee's had a good deal on them.

"Doesn't baby daddy know how to work a grill?" asked Ed. "That's the best way to eat ribs."

Winry shook her head. "Baby daddy's not in the picture."

"Oh. Sorry. That sucks."

She shrugged. "It is what it is."

"I don't need to knock some sense into him, do I?"

"What? No! He's not around because I don't want him to be. I don't need him, and I don't need you to stick your nose where it doesn't belong."

Ed raised his palms apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to - I know you can take care of yourself, Winry. I guess I'm just projecting. You know, since my dad walked out on me."

Winry didn't know the entire situation with Ed's father, but Ed had complained about him so many times over the years that Winry could read between the lines. "Yeah, okay," she said. "Thanks for apologizing."

"Of course. I know I can shoot off my mouth sometimes. That's why I hang around people who call me out on my shit."

And then, because Winry's mind was still on the subject, and it was nice to have another listening ear, she kept talking about her baby's father. "His name's Russell. The dad. We were never serious. When I got pregnant, I figured I was in a good enough place, financially, to keep it. And I always wanted to be a mom. But I didn't want Russell to be a permanent part of my life. He probably would've stepped up if I'd told him about the baby, but I just didn't want to coparent with him. So I broke up with him. He doesn't know about the baby, and I want to keep it that way."

Ed nodded. "I guess that makes sense."

But she could tell he was holding something back. "Whatever it is you're thinking, you should say it."

"You probably don't want to hear it."

"Ed, come on."

"Fine. I'm not saying you have to do things my way, but . . . if it were me, I'd at least want him to know he had a kid."

"I get why you'd say that," said Winry. "I just think it's more trouble than it's worth."

"I guess. Hey, you want to see this picture of Al at Pet Barn?"

Winry welcomed the subject change, and the rest of their lunch passed with little incident. Ed had tried to cut his food himself, only to wince as the muscles in his right hand spasmed. She teased him as she took his knife and fork. "Guess I better get used to doing this now," she said.

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, you don't have to make the pieces that tiny. I'm not gonna choke."

It had been nice to catch up with her old friend. They'd only kept in touch peripherally since he'd become her client, and it was nice to confirm that he was still the rough-and-tumble personality she remembered. She also couldn't deny that puberty had been kind to Edward Elric. She tried not to think about that too much, though. Her second trimester was a horrible time to start a new relationship, let alone with a client.

However, they were in touch much more than peripherally now. Ed had started messaging her regularly. He liked taunting her with pictures of well-cooked ribs. She teased him back with reminders that he couldn't drive, and she quickly found more material once he was allowed behind the wheel again.

They'd been messaging for about a week and a half when Ed invited her over for dinner at his place. Winry said yes because she knew Al would be there, so it wouldn't be a date exactly, and anyway she couldn't say no to free ribs. So she knocked on Ed's door that evening with a fresh-baked apple pie in hand.

He opened the door wearing a bright red apron with his hair up in a messy bun. Winry couldn't tell if he was seriously rocking the barbecue chef look or she was just hormonal, but damn did he look good.

"Hey!" he greeted her brightly. "Um, Al had to bail. His girlfriend surprised him with concert tickets."

Double damn. This was starting to turn into an actual date. No, she couldn't read into it more than there was. They were just doing this as friends. He probably didn't find pregnant women attractive anyway. She tried to forget how much he gushed over how cool he thought pregnancy was.

Ed invited her out to the patio, where the grill was. "You should probably keep your distance though," he told her. "I don't think the fumes are good for the baby."

"It's sweet of you to worry," said Winry. She noticed how well he handled the spatula and tongs and said, "Your wrist's looking a lot better."

"Thanks," said Ed. "It still gets sore easy, but at least I can use it." He shut the grill. "Sorry, these are taking longer to cook than I thought. How hungry are you?"

Pretty hungry. Pregnancy had a way of kicking a girl's appetite into gear. "Why don't we switch it up and do dessert first?" Winry suggested, holding up her apple pie.

"You don't have to tell me twice," Ed approved. "That thing smells amazing."

They didn't even bother with plates, just split the pie down the middle and ate right out of the tin. Ed groaned when he took the first bite.

"Holy shit, Winry, that's fantastic. Why didn't you tell me you could bake like this?"

"I'm a woman of many talents," said Winry.

"I'm pretty sure pie isn't allowed to taste this good. Did you make a deal with the devil or something?"

"The only devil I've seen lately is you." The remark was out of her mouth before she could think.

His grin widened. "You think I'm the devil? You haven't even seen my naughty side yet."

Shit, shit, they were totally flirting! She had to deescalate the situation. "I don't think it gets much naughtier than the pillbug incident back in third grade."

Ed laughed. "I totally forgot about that! And you put those bugs down my shirt, too!"

"You looked like you were having a seizure," Winry said, chortling.

Their conversation after that was more friendly than flirtatious. By the time the pie had been reduced to mere crumbs, the meat was finally ready. Ed had always had a large appetite and Winry was not ashamed to match him. They both had room for a couple racks of ribs along with potato salad and coleslaw. When they were done, Winry insisted on helping with the dishes. After a few protests, Ed finally relented.

So far, doing that chore together had been the quietest part of the evening. That is, until Ed cried out and dropped the pie tin back in the sink. "Hand cramp," he explained.

"Lemme see." Winry took his hand and started massaging it. She felt along his wrist for strained muscle and rubbed it too. After a moment she started feeling Ed's eyes on her.

She looked up to see him standing closer than he had before, his flushed face closer to hers than it had ever been. Winry's heart picked up, and so did the baby's kicking. But she didn't notice that so much as she noticed his eyes on her mouth.

Ed leaned in first, and Winry closed the gap. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a kiss like this, soft yet unyielding. Ed's left hand wrapped around her back, drawing circles down her spine. Winry traced her own hand up Ed's right arm and clutched his bicep. When the kiss finished, it took Winry a minute to remember that this was not how she had wanted this dinner to turn out.

Intellectually, anyway. Physically, it was clear her libido had other priorities.

Winry shook her head. She said, "Ed, this is crazy."

Ed's fingers drummed on her back. "Is it?" he asked.

"Yes, Ed, I'm about to have a baby."

"I noticed," he said, his left hand tracing around her waist and resting on her belly.

"Ed!"

"Come on, Winry, babies are awesome. I want to get to know the baby too."

Winry supposed that was a good way to put it. It was far too early for Ed to even consider being a father to the baby. On the other hand, impending motherhood was Winry's main focus and anyone she dated would need to be on board with that. Ed had accepted that he'd be spending time with both her and the baby. But still . . . "You're my client."

"What was it you said? When you didn't care about my pain? I'm not your client right now?"

He wasn't wrong. It had been a year since she'd treated him, so it wasn't an offense she could lose her license over. Still, they were cutting it close.

"If we do this," she said, "and your leg breaks in the next year, you wouldn't be able to go to me. You'd have to go to someone else."

"You said it would last me three years, right? Don't you trust your own work?"

He was such a smart alleck. She wanted to smack him. His smirk was obnoxious and alluring at the same time. She wanted to make out with him. He had such a tender look in his eyes. She wanted to hold him tight and never let go.

Winry said, "You're going to be the death of me, Edward Elric."

Ed said, "Yeah, I get that a lot." Then he kissed her again. This one was more fervid than before. Hands wandered down backsides and lips caressed the most sensitive spots of their faces and necks. Winry was pressed close enough to Ed that she was sure he could feel the baby kicking too.

"I think the dishes just need to soak for awhile," Winry murmured in Ed's ear.

"Hell yeah," he agreed. Then he picked Winry up and carried her to the couch, where they could sink into the supportive cushions and feel as close to each other as they possibly could.

They stayed on the couch for a very long time.

[simplemoonk]

Rivamika Fanfic - Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead

Ship: Rivamika

Fluff/Romance

Disclaimer: Attack on Titan belongs to the Hajime Isayama and we all know that I guess!

Summary: In which Levi-squad find out some exiciting news. Slight au because old Levi-squad is alive.

It was supposed to be a secret. The most important, precious and exciting secret that Mikasa has ever had. However there is one person who knew her precious secret – necessarily. Squad Leader Hange Zoe.

She was the one who examined her and announced that she was pregnant after all. The scientist got very excited after they find out and Hange started to laugh like a crazy person while imagining aloud the reaction of the baby’s father. Mikasa made her swear not to tell him, saying that she wanted to be the one who announce the news to him. Hange gave Mikasa her words, she even slammed her fist to her heart while she promised that she won’t open her mouth to him even if they put a knife on he– no on her precious titans nape. Although she seems a little hesitant on the latter one Mikasa still believed that she would kept her words.

And Hange did in fact kept her promise - she said she would not tell the father that Mikasa was pregnant and not to Moblit who revealed the so called secret to Levi-squad. If he had to defence himself it was not his fault, entirely. He could hardly remember that he told them. He was drinking that night with the Levi squad since both Hange and Levi departed the day before with Eren Yeager to perfom some test upon titan shifter in a deserted area. One drink brought another and before he knew he already told Captain Levi’s squad the big news. It was only when they started to freak out he realised what he had done. Even though he always tried to keep his eyes open and be cautious of his actions, he was working for Hange after all he had to be cautious, alcohol in his veins made him disorient and talkative. He panicked after realising what he just revealed and begged to Levi-squad, literally, for not to tell anyone especially to the father.

“Please guys please you have to forget about what you heard! I do not want to die! You do not know how intimidating Squad Leader Hange could get! No really she is worse than she looks!  She would kill me and then the Ackerman would kill me, again! Please do not tell anyting to Corporal Levi. He does not know it... yet.”

And with that he put what was on their minds straight. The identity of the baby’s father.

“Miss Ackerman!” Mikasa was walking through the corridors of the head quarter while she was carrying the new suppliment boxes to the kitchen. Her mind was so busy with what Squad Leader Hange might be doing to Eren at that moment, someone’s calling her name went unnoticed.

At least Levi is here. He did not let happen anything to Eren... Right?

“Miss Ackerman!” the voice was coming closer know and finally Mikasa realised that someone was calling for her. She turned around, with the heavy boxes in her hands, to faced whoever might be the owner of the voice. She saw a tall man with blond hairs, running towards her. She remembered him immediately of course. He was a part of the Levi Squad. Ed was his name. Or was it Eld? She could not be sure for a moment.

The man was right in front of her now and tried to take away the food suppliment boxes from her.

“Miss Ackerman, please let me help you with that.”

Eld. Yes it was his name. While she was satisfied with herself for remembered the man’s name, Eld already took those boxes from her hands and started to walk toward to the kitchen. Mikasa blinked behind him, suprised by the sudden action and not so happy about the state of her mind last days – she was unchracteristly unfocused – she started to run after Eld.

“That was unnecessery, thank you but I can carry them by myself.” She said while struggle to get back her boxes again. Eld pushed her gently however the look of his eyes were determined so was his voice while he started to talk again.

“I got that, Ackerman.” He continued walking, leaving a frustrurated and dumbfounded Mikasa behind. 

It was a relatively hot day and the training did not make it any better. Mikasa was paired up with Jean for hand to hand combat. She blocked all of his attacks and managed to throw a few punchs at him quite easily. One of them hit him in the face, made him stumble on his feets and with that she found an opportunity to send him on the floor.

When a tall, balck haired man who was not belong to 104th training corps appeared in the training fields, Mikasa was trying to help Jean to get on his feets. Gunther had seen Mikasa through the window just seconds ago and jumped on his feets to get to the area without thinking it twice. At the end of the day if the girl was with their coporal’s child, protect that child and indirectly the girl, would have to be their squad’s jobs as well.

“Mikasa Ackerman!” Gunther called for the girl who was about to got another fight with the now on his feets man. She stopped in her tracks and had a look around to see who was calling for her.

“Lets do a hand-to-hand together.” He said while removed his green cloak off of his wide shoulders and got into the position.

Mikasa’s eyes widened before narrowed again. She took a glance of Jean who seem as confused as she felt, and somehow angry. She returned to the man in front of her, this is the second time in that day one of the member of Levi’s squad got interact with her which was not happen a lot. Even though the squad knew about her relationship with their captain both parties did not feel the need to interact often. It is not like they purposely avoiding from each other, they were just on different squads.

Did Levi order them something about that? The thought made her feel irritated.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Take it as you will” Gunther said with a cocky smile, as far as he could see if he could manage to irritate her she will start to train with him rather than the man behind her who somehow seem to resemble a horse.

“Fine!” She said as she taking her position, completely ignoring her previous partner’s objections. Gunther smiled inwardly. Now he could pretend like fighting with the girl while made sure that her –or the baby for that matter- would get no harm during the training. He was about to regret of that decision.

“Ahh!” Gunther’s groning filled the empty dinning room. He was sitting on the table which was his squad’s usual spot for the meals. Gunther, Oluo and Mikasa Ackerman were with him.

“Ah!” Gunther screamed again and dodged when Erd tried put the ice cube on his cheek. It hurted like hell.

“Stop being such a baby!” Erd murmered under his breath and had an another attempt with the ice cube which he became successful this time.

“Yeah you are acting like such a baby.. How come you got injured by that brat anyways?” Oluo talked from the opposite seats of them, arms crossed on his chest and with a cocky smile. Mikasa narrowed her eyes and glared the man.

“You want some to?” she asked with her monotone voice. Yet her eyes was burning and she was ready to send the man to the floor.

“Oi brat! Who do you think you are tallllhhh-“ Mikasa felt her eyes widen with surprise when Oluo had to stop, bitting his own tongue viciously. Mikasa even saw a few drops of blood but she decided not to comment on it, besides giving the empty looks of Erd and Gunther’s face, she guessed it was not a rare event.

“Oluo! You bite your tongue again!?” Mikasa tensed immediately when she heard a feminine voice coming from the door, knowing exactly the owner of that voice. Petra Ral. In all of Levi’s squad members she knew that name the best. She heard the rumors about her having a crush on her lover from various people though she did not have to. Mikasa could see the looks she was given to Levi and could see how tender and caring she was when with him. And she was beautiful, Mikasa admitted bitterly. It went without saying, Petra Ral was not her favorite person in the Scouting Legion.

“You should be more careful or you are going to die because of blood loss one of these days.” Golden haired girl kept talking to Oluo as she started to walk towards to them. Mikasa decided inwardly that it was her time to take her leaving. Just she was about to open her mouth she was interrupted by Petra.

“Mikasa, here!” the girl offered her a cup of tea,  smiling to her gently.  Mikasa was so confused by the sudden action, it took her some time to regain her voice.

“M - Me? Did you bring me tea?” her voice sound surprised even to her own ears. She glanced the rest of Levi’s squad and saw that they all also looked a bit surprised and something else too that Mikasa could not exactly put a finger on it. Petra nodded and guided Mikasa an empty chair, put the tea on the table in front of her.

“You should try it, it is my favorite.” Petra said casually as she saw Mikasa’s hesitation. She then took the chair opposed to her and next to Oluo’s, looked at the girl with a gentle smile.

“Ye yo sho trie t” Gunther mumbled under his breath. He could not feel his right cheek anymore so that was his best attempt to say ‘Yeah you should try it’. He then squeaked like an 8 year old when Erd started to tend his other injuries which he took from Mikasa Ackerman almost an hour ago.  

Mikasa took a sip of her tea feeling a bit stupid about the bitterness she felt towards the golden haired girl just a few seconds ago. She had to admit the tea tastes really good. She smiled to Petra and mumbled a thank you. Unable to said anything else. She kept getting more confused and overwhelmed by these four persons’ attitudes toward her today. Suddenly an idea came to her.

Do they know that I am pre- No! It is imposible how could they even know? Mikasa eyes widen by the sudden thought. If they know does that means Levi also know? She could not help herself but felt her stomach dropped and she shivered a bit. If that was the case and he did know about her condition why he did not say anyhing about it? Beside who would told him? Mikasa made Hange to swear and even though the womanwas a little unstable she trust her to keep her words. She wouldn’t tell Levi. Right?

“Mikasa? Are you cold?” Erd asked while he finally finished with Gunther’s face. She looked the man instantly. Obviously her movements did not go unnoticed by any of them. She was just about to shook her head when Oluo got up and removed his cloak. He walked toward Mikasa and before she could undertand what he was trying to do he put his cloak on her shoulders. If Mikasa was not suprised by the Levi Squad’s actions throughout all day now she definitely was.

“Wha- What are you doing? Thanks but I do not need it, take it back.” She tried to remove Oluo’s cloak from her shoulders to gave it back to his owner.

“Tch – Just take it brat.”

“Oluo are you again try to impersonate the Corporal again?”

“Petra who do you think you are talking to?”

“Oi what is going on here?” their discussion was ended by the unmistakable voice of their corporal who was now stood by the door of the mess hall with Hange by his side. “And why is Ackerman here with you?” Levi added while his eyes studided the said woman. She was sitting at the end of the table with an extra large cloak on her shoulders.

All five of them stood up and saluted the Corporal and the Squad Leader before Erd started talking.

“Welcome back Corporal, Squad Leader.” He acknowledged them and continued “Miss Ackerman was here with us while I tended to Gunther’s injures. Well.. She beat him apperently.”

“Sh did t beat m! W wer traiin!”

“He means they were training Corporal which doesn’t mean that he got beaten” Erd said trying to suppress a smirk.

“H-“

“Why were you training with Ackerman?”  Levi interrupted before the two members of his squad could continue. His voice was dull but his eyes were burning with something that they could not put a finger on.

“I – I...”

“I asked for him.” Mikasa talked for the first time since the two of their superiors came into the mess hall. She hoped as soon as she put an end to that conversation the quicker she got to stay alone with Levi. And she wanted to be alone with Levi, like right now. She needed to. She needed to know if he knew about her condition or not. He looked at her with cold narrowed eyes which she returned without hesitation. She decided that the most convinient way to stay alone with the short man in front of her was to make him irritated. She kept looking right into his eyes daringly and arched one of her eyebrow got a problem with that? Her plan seemed to work.

“All of you, except Ackerman, go with Hange. She needs to discuss something with you.” Mikasa could have sworn that the temperature of the room dropped a few degree suddenly and his squad seemed to sense this too because they all obeyed him eagerly, trying to get out of there as soon as possible.  

“Ehh – I do?” Hange asked with a suprised voice but when Levi shot her a glance she took the message and left with the others, but not before winking the two remaning individuals.

As soon as they were alone Mikasa started to run towards the grumpy man’s arms, forgetting the tension between them already. Still annoyed he did not return her hug for a moment but it has been two days and he missed her so much so within seconds he gave in to her, arms holding her tightly against himself.

“How is Eren?” Mikasa asked with a concerning voice when she broke off from his hug but countinued to stay in his arms. He let out a ‘tch’ before he guranteed her that he was safe and sound.

“What is this?” Levi asked suddenly, holding the edge of the cloak on her shoulders.

“A cloak” she said mockingly which made his eyes twitch.

“I can see that you brat. Why is it so large?”

“It’s Oluo’s” Mikasa answered him nonchalantly, the answer only made his eyes to twitch even more.

“Oluo? First Gunther and now Oluo? I cannot leave you even a day by yourself woman?” Levi felt his irritation since he first came into the dining hall was only growing more. He seemed to be as his normal self. Short tempered and grumpy, which made clear for Mikasa that Levi did not know about her pregnancy. Good. She wanted to be the one who told him. And she was going to do that like right now.

Her stomach dropped suddenly, she felt she was sweating but feeling cold at the same time and her hands started to shaking as well. Levi noticed all of these and the sudden change of his lover made him feel nervous as well.

“What is it?” he asked indifferently even though what he felt was anything but indifferent.

“I need to tell you something.” Mikasa said breathlessly. Levi nodded to her encouraged her to continue. He then felt her freezing hands took of his right hand from her waist and guided it to her stomach.

“I am pregnant.” She said suddenly. Levi froze on the spot. His brain decided to go on a vocation at that very moment it seems because it did not process any information. He knew what he heard but he could not understand it. He could not breathe, could not make a move and he was almost sure that he could not blink at that moment even if he wanted to.

A moment felt like a year passed between them. Mikasa was looking at him expectantly.

“Aren’t you say something?” she asked after a few seconds almost hopefully. He wanted to say something, he did not know what it is but he wanted to. The issue was not that there was nothing to say, the issue was him, him not being able to find his voice. He opened his mouth to say something but of course nothing came out. So he continued to stare at her.

Suddenly something in her eyes changed. Her eyes darken Levi noticed her hands over his on her stomach dropped, taking his hand as well during the process. And she looked so broken in the blink of an eye something in him moved and made him to regain control over his body. He grabbed her hand again and little by little, without his control, his lips twitch upwards until he gave her a full grin which made her stop breathing. His left hand found his way on her stomach and he looked at her still flat stomach admiringly. When Levi lifted his head again to meet Mikasa’s eyes, he saw her smiling at him adoringly, tears on her eyes. He did not said anything, just pulled her into a hug. Kissed her eyelids one by one and whispering her ears the only thing he could think of at that moment.

“Thank you.”

[tastyie]

Firefly

@chestnutisland

(A/N): I always wondered why Krillin calls Marron firefly, it seems kind of a random nickname for a kid. So here is my take on it. K18 one-shot, post cell pre buu

Our Firefly

“Alright 18, we have to do it today.” Krillin said waking up and rubbing the crust from his eyes. He was ready to get up and start the day off.

“We’ve already rescheduled with Bulma twice and we are lucky she is even doing it in the first place.”

18 had just opened her eyes.

“Lucky? Isn’t she one of your best friends, she isn’t doing it to help us out?” She said half awake.

“True, but there is no need to reschedule again. We have to go hun’.” He said, shortly after he ripped the blankets off of 18. Trying to wake her up while also exposing what they were going to see Bulma for.

“Don’t you want to know if our baby is healthy?”

“Yeah, I do. You’re right we should go.” She said

18 was 4 months pregnant and her belly is becoming bigger and more defined every day.

They were surprised to say the least when the couple found out 18 had a life growing inside of her. Once the cybernetic woman starting having repeating cases of morning sickness they were curious. Many calls to Bulma and Chichi and a home pregnancy test, eventually led them to founding out the news. 18 was shocked. She had no idea she could bare a child and she was really nervous about it. Although she had no one to blame but herself. Krillin kept on saying how protection during sex  was important so they didn’t have an unplanned child like this. 18 never understood his worrying when it came to that topic, she wasn’t fully human she can’t get pregnant anyways so why go through the trouble of buying pills or condoms. Well after a hand full of their unprotected adult endeavors Krillin’s warnings finally caught up to them.

18 went from shocked to being scared out of her mind, but like he always does Krillin was there to guide her through her inner turmoil and helped her realize how this was a blessing and it would only make them closer. She, or Krillin for that matter, didn’t know how to be parents but they damn well were going to try their hardest.

“Can you make us some Breakfast first dear?” The woman asked.

“Mmm I don’t know I’m still full from that huge dinner from last night.”

“Well sorry, You know I’m eating for two.”

“Ok I’ll cook you something to eat then I’ll call Bulma and see what time she wants us over.”

“All right you get started on that, I want oatmeal, toast and eggs. I’m gonna get some more sleep in the meantime.”

“Now wait a sec-”

“Thanks Krillin, love you.”

Before Krillin had the chance to rebuttal again she took back the blankets and covered her entire body with the thick cloth.

“Bu--- Okay fine be that way. But now I won’t make the eggs how you like them!”

He said opening the door about to walk out of it.

“Yes you will.”

“Yea...I know.”

And with that he closed their bedroom door and headed downstairs.

***********************

Breakfast was okay, 18 ate it in silence because Krillin went to go take a shower. Roshi was also out there but as soon as he saw 18 was going to be in there for more than 5 minutes he left. She had been at the island for 4 years now but they still weren’t on the best of terms Only talking when Krillin was still in the same room. Probably because Roshi kept on being his usual self around her. It was safe to say she didn’t care for that.

“Ok 18 are you ready.”

Krillin came down stairs and saw that 18 was in deep thought, she didn’t even notice him at first.

“Is something wrong 18?”

“Huh? Oh, I was just thinking about this leech inside me.”

“Hey don’t call it that! It's not a leech it's a miracle.”

“Yea, yea I know. But I was just wondering about it. Is it developing well enough, what gender is it, how being a mother will be. Stuff like that.”

“I do too honey, 24/7. Just talk to me whenever about it when you want. We are in this together.”

“I know Krillin. Thank you.”

“Good we can talk about anything you want while we are in the jet car. Speaking of which Bulma wants us there at 10:30 so let’s get going.”

“The jet car is too slow can’t we just fly?”

“No no no! I can’t let you fly when you’re 4 months pregnant!”

“Fine, you can just carry me then.”

“Uh, I guess that will work. Shouldn’t be any strain on you or the-”

“Can you go get my shoes from upstairs Krillin I’m ready to go.” She cut him off.

She found it best to just interrupt him when he was babbling on about stuff, she liked to cut straight to the point anyways.

**********************

They didn’t really conversate on the flight over to Bulma’s, due to the high wind messing with their ability to hear. At least they were close and could just feel each others embrace.

They landed safely and walked into the main lobby of capsule corp building. They saw the receptionist.

“Ahh hello!” She greeted them. “Mr. Krillin and Mrs. Eighteen, Bulma is waiting for you in the…”

She seized talking because 18 just straight up walked past the desk without even pretending to notice the woman talking. She just didn’t really like talking to new people, it was just best to ignore them when she could.

Krillin knew this and usually had to cover up for her.

“Sorry ma’am, she’s just nervous about the ultrasound.” Krillin defended.

“Oh I see, I can imagine then.” She said with a smile, she didn’t blame 18 for her actions.

“Well Mrs. Briefs is in the medical building in Wing E.”

“Thanks, sorry again. Have a good day!”

“No problem, you too!”

He had to do a light jog to catch up with his wife. For a pregnant woman she sure did walk fast.

“Do you know where you’re even going?” He blurted while catching up.

“Med building Wing E, I heard her.” She said matter a factly.

“You forgot to say something to her 18, you have to at least say hello.”

“Sorry, I’m working on it. You know I’m not a people person.”

“It’s ok. Let’s just focus on what’s about to happen.”

The still newlyweds made their way down a series of hallways and walkways until finally they made it to the destination.

“Why does she even have a hospital?” 18 asked.

“I don’t think its a hospital, they just invent test medical equipment. Like the ultrasound she is gonna use on you today.”

“Wow i feel so honored.” She uttered with the utmost of sarcasm.

After they asked one of the many people in scrubs walking around where Bulma was the duo finally found her. Sitting in a room looking at a monitor.

“I see you guys finally made it.” The blue haired woman greeted them while still focusing on her monitor.

“Bulma are you even trained to do this?” 18 asked, the thought never crossed her mind.

“I’m the smartest woman on the planet, and I’ve been prepping for the last two weeks. I’m confident this will go without a hitch!” She said proudly.

“Ok.”

Bulma first weighed Krillin’s wife then started asking her a handful of questions before she got to the main attraction. Some of them professional, like how is she eating, are her feet swelling, is she putting any strain on her body, but most of them personal.

“No I do not have any maternity clothes!” The cyborg said kind of getting annoyed.

“Well after we check on your baby we HAVE to get you some. You’ll thank me later.” She responded.

18 thought about and maybe it would be good to listen to what Bulma was saying and it would be beneficial to get to spend more time with her. After all Bulma was just trying to help and she was friendly and she has been pregnant before. She also will probably pay of all of these clothes she was talking about it.

“Ok, I would like that.”

She actually said yes? Krillin thought to himself.

Wow she actually said yes, I was just fishing there. Bulma wondering the same thought as Krillin.

“Uhh, yea. She didn’t want to waste money on clothes she wouldn’t wear anymore after a year. She’s just been wearing my clothes mostly.” The short man said picking the conversation back up.

“No worries. I’ll pay, my treat.”

“Thank you!” They both said.

“Ok one last question.” The interviewer spoke up.

“Is this one relevant to the situation at hand unlike the last 5 you asked?” The interviewee asked.

“Yes, I swear. I just need to know if you guys are still having sex while this baby is inside of you.”

Krillin’s face heated up so bad it looked like he had a fever and 18 just looked straight pissed.

Bulma continued to speak.

“I’m serious guys, just tell me.”

Krillin decided to speak up about it.

“Uh, we stopped when she found out about the baby, we didn’t want to hurt it in anyway. So that was two months ago probably?”

18 nodded confirming that was the correct answer.

“Alright, well good. See for most people it’s perfectly fine to have intercourse while pregnant. But in your guys’ case I can’t recommend it. Since you guys don’t have normal strength it might injure the baby. But don’t worry. I can speak from personal experience after all the waiting the feeling is amazing. Vegeta and I---”

18 cut her off.

“Ok we get it. I really don’t wanna hear about you and Vegeta’s sex life.”

“All right then. Just lie down and lift up your shirt.”

She took Bulma’s orders.

“Alright this will be a little cold, but nothing you can’t handle. Let me just run one last test to make sure everything will run smoothly.”

It was cold, but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter. She was here realising what was about to happen. She was going to get to see the first glimpse of the life she was raising inside of her.

Krillin could tell she was thinking negative thoughts so he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s gonna be ok.” He whispered. “You’re strong, you can do this.”

She smiled at him, he always knew just want to say.

Bulma grabbed the transducer probe and placed it where the gel was.

“Just so you guys know for context, the only difference between this machine and one used for regular ultrasounds is that this one detects your android parts and ignores them. This way they won’t interfere with the anything….Speaking of which, here is your baby!”  

It was kind of surreal to the two of them. It was just a blue blob with a black background, but it was filling them with so much emotion. How could they love something they just saw for the first time.  They wanted to protect it, hold it, spoil it, they couldn’t wait for it to be truly alive.

18 had to blink away the tears.

Heh. 18 tried to distract herself so the water didn’t fall from the eyes. If 17 was here he would tell me my human was showing. I would tell him we are more human than machine anyways, might as well embrace it.

“It’s ok to cry hun’” Her husband interrupted her inner thoughts. He could tell she was on the verge.

Bulma did notice what was going on, but she chose to let them have their moment without interfering. It was between them.

“I’m ok now, Bulma tell us we are looking at.” 18 said regaining her composure.

“Well here is the head, the arms, legs, and I’m pretty sure I can make you able to hear its heartbeat. But first want me to tell you want gender it is?”

“Yea that would be great, right babe?” Krillin got excited but then remembered it should be up to his wife.

“Of course.” She said.

“Alright let's see here, it looks like its….a...girl!”

The married couple started to rejoice. To be honest they didn’t care what gender it was, they were just happy to finally know what they were expecting. However their joy subsided once the machine started to make a noise.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

“Uhh…” Bulma stuttered. She didn’t think that would happen.

“Bulma, what is that.” The ex-monk asked.

Before Bulma could explain what was happening the monitor started flashing warning signs.

Then the craziest thing possible happened. 18’s bloated stomach began to emit light, it started to glow from the inside.

“That doesn’t look right.” The blue haired woman said.

“BULMA WHAT THE FUCK!!!” 18 screamed, fearing for her and her baby’s life.

“BULMA DO SOMETHING!!!” Krillin also screamed, fearing for the same as 18.

“Ok ok, remain calm so I can think.”

Bulma was ineed frazzled and was turned and started to press many buttons on the ultrasound machine. She uninstanctfully dropped the probe on accident. It fell to the floor. Luckily this caused the glowing to stop.

All three of them sighed in almost unicent.

“Bulma what the hell just happened?!?” 18 snapped again.

“Well remember when I said this machine was designed to not detect your inner android parts? It did and when the sound censor in the probe detected it the part started to light up. That is the jist of what happened guys. I can ensure that everything is ok with the baby and with you 18, all the mechanism inside of you did was light up a warning because a sound wave hit it. Some sort of defense protocol, and the only reason it glowed at all is because of your bigger stomach area.”

“Ok, thank Kami.” Said Krillin.

“Sorry guys…” Bulma sounded defeated.

“If we are both fine then don’t sweat about it. It was just a scary experience that’s all. It’s kind of fitting though, sometimes, now that Krillin is with me i forgot I’m part machine. But I won’t forget it anytime soon.” 18 spoke up.

Krillin leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Bulma that was very sweet but still felt incredibly embarrassed.

“I’m gonna fix this now and get it over with for next time, how about you guys go get some lunch from my mom in the meantime. Then after I’ll take you to go get some maternity clothes.” The bluenette pleaded sounding very guilty.

“Alright, let’s go Krillin. Thanks Bulma.” 18 said

“I swear it’s nothing to worry about, and congrats again guys.” She said. “I’ll come find you two in an hour.”

******************

Krillin went to go get some sandwiches that Panchi made and met his wife outside.

“Man that was crazy.” Krillin said sitting down next to the love of his life.

“I’m just happy everything is ok. I can’t blame her though, she couldn’t of known.” 18 said.

“Hopefully the next visit will go smoother. How scared were you?”

“I thought someone had wished the bomb back in me and...I don’t want to even think about it.”

“Oh 18 that is awful.”

“Yeah I know. What was going through your mind?”

“At first it was about losing the baby. But now all I can think about is how your stomach looked like it had a really big firefly in it.” Krillin chuckled scratching the back of his head.

She smacked his forehead.

“OWW, guess I deserved that.”

“You did.”

“I kind of like that as a nickname for the baby. Firefly!”

“Hmm, yea It’s kinda cute.”

That’s it

Thanks for reading, k18 for life. Thanks to @chestnutisland for running chestnutfest. Was writing this in advance but saw you had a free day planned so i decided to submit it for that.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Wan High Weeping (Part 37)

Sokka started at the ceiling. It was a bleak new lifestyle. Studies weren’t exactly a thrilling feat but now he pined for them. Just as well, he tried not to think about them at all, about how far behind he was getting in his academics by being in here. And he had no one to blame but himself. He had left Katara alone and had given Jet an ample opportunity to assault his little sister. He had promised to protect her and he let her down. He sacrificed her well being for sex. Sex that he could have had at literally any other time, yet he chose to have it then and at a high school party.

He had wanted to cling to his high school days, by all means he was doing a good job; he had the irresponsibility and stupid decisions down to a tee.

He didn’t blame his father for only dropping in once. The man had given him a good luck and an, ‘I’ll do what I can’. He promised that he loved him just as well as he had before the arrest but despite all efforts, Hakoda couldn’t keep the disappointment from his eyes.

That had been his Sunday morning.

His Sunday evening was somehow worse.

“What am I going to do?” Suki’s voice still vibrated clear as day in his head. He vividly recalled the way her hand swept up and down her baby bump. “I can’t do this alone Sokka!” And he knew just what an ugly position he had put her in.

The father of her baby was a jailbird. Even if his crime was a defensive one.

It settled in, all too late, that he wanted to be a father. That he really, truly did, want to be a part of that baby’s life. Fully part of it, not just a cluster of visitation hours. His stomach knotted all over again in thinking about the unchecked fear in Suki’s eyes. The prospect of having to raise a baby alone. He ran his fingers through his hair. If she dropped out to raise a kid it would be all his fault.

Everything in the past few years had been one reckless and impulsive decision after the next. Somehow each new one made the one before it worse.

That evening he had to watch the cops marshall a weeping Suki out. Visitation hours had ended and she would be alone again. Alone for the appointments she was supposed to go to. Alone when they did another ultrasound. He would be in this dismal cell instead of seeing how his baby was developing.

Even so, he couldn’t bring himself to regret blooding Jet’s pretty-boy face. The boy had spent so much time instilling so much fear in his little sister, he had deserved the beating he got. Frankly, Sokka hoped that Jet’s stunning face would be left scared and ugly. He hoped that he and Chan and brought the ugliness to the surface.

.oOo.

Suki had never felt so lonely.  Even surrounded by the softball team she felt isolated. They could give her heaps of support and she would still feel alone. They couldn’t help her with the baby, they didn’t know what the pregnancy was like.

They didn’t know how it was to be started at in the school hallways and at the mall. The judging looks handed to her when she went to religious functions. It was worse still to be on her way to her checkups and receive hard stares from other pregnant woman. It would seem that she couldn’t find sympathy anywhere. And she had messed things up with the person who supported her the most.

All because her hormones had her feeling ridiculously horny.

She swore to herself that she’d never be having sex again, it only seemed to lead her to terrible places.

She rested her hand on her belly, thinking over whether or not she should call or text Katara. Katara could use the support, but somehow she felt as though her voice would only make things worse. She also couldn’t promise herself that she wouldn’t make things about herself. God, she was such an emotional trainwreck.  

She was thinking about Sokka’s arrest and how it impacted her. She could only imagine where that left Katara. So why was it that her mind always seemed to drift back to herself and how she was going to be affected.

She was a bad friend and she was going to make a worse mother.

She couldn’t take care of and watch over her best friend, how was she going to protect her own child?

.oOo.

Sokka was torn from his sleep and hauled carelessly into a room with a large glass window, a large table, and two chairs. The investigator seemed to have no love for him. He stood stoically, a solid wall of muscle and apathy. He got the sense that the man wouldn’t care to he to hear a sob story about how he was just trying to be a good older brother--even if his arrival had been late.

No, this officer wasn’t a man pathos would work on.

To his luck another officer entered the room. This man looked more approachable. “Don’t mind him.” The officer gestured to his co-worker. “It’s standard procedure to have another officer in the room when questioning a defendant.”

Sokka listened to the man’s introduction, finding more relief in that he was going to be talking to Katara and TyLee as well. Perhaps he did have someone on his side after all.

“Now, this case is going to be a little tricky.” Yu-Ron stated. “That Jet boy is a minor and you aren’t. In the eyes of the law, that’s a pressing ordeal. However, there’s a very strong chance that the jury will be on your side. I haven’t seen many cases where there wasn’t outrage when the court ruled in support of the accused.”

At the very least, it sounded like Katara’s odds were good. “Good!” He muttered, “if you make the court makes the wrong call then there should be backlash.” He regretted it as soon as it was out of his mouth, well-intentioned, it sounded uncooperative as far as the legal system was concerned.

Yu-Ron chose mercifully to ignore the outburst. “If we can find you a lawyer who can get Chan Haga to admit that he had dealt most of the damage before you got there, you will have a much easier time. I will be frank with you…”

Sokka gulped.

“Regardless of the circumstance, because you are an adult who had beaten a child, you probably won’t get away without a punishment. If you cooperate with myself and others who you will speak with, jail time can be swapped for fines or community service.”

At least there was some ray of hope, Sokka supposed that he wouldn't mind sacrificing some college parties for community service after class. He just hoped that the blotch on his record wouldn’t have the campus closing its doors on him.

“So let’s begin, shall we? Tell me, to the best of your memory, what occured on the thirty-first of this month.”

.oOo.

She was permitted to skip school to visit Sokka. Evidently she found it rather cruel that visiting hours so directly conflicted with school hours. And crueler yet that they had pulled Sokka for investigation during visiting hours on the one day she had to drop in. She had driven all that way only to be turned away. At least they had let her write a letter to explain the conflicting schedules, it did her conscious no good to know that Sokka would be coming back from a grueling investigation to more bad news.

Everything in her brain screamed at her and pleaded with her to contact Katara, but truth be told she was afraid of the confrontation. And she didn’t understand why, months back she would have driven right over to Katara’s house to talk things over.

But this?

This was a new situation entirely. It wasn’t some petty high school spat. She hadn’t worn the dress Katara wanted to wear to homecoming. She hadn’t began crushing on the same boy Katara had eyes for. No, it was worse. She had left her best friend at the mercy of a predator. And he had struck.

Suki didn’t know how to confront that.

She couldn’t imagine that Katara wanted to even breathe the same air as her anyways.

Maybe it made her a coward, but she stayed at home with her phone on silent.

And maybe it made her a coward twice over, but when her parents came to check on her she vowed that everything was okay. It wasn’t like they could help her anyways, communication hadn’t been the same since her belly had begun to swell.

Since they could no longer pretend that they weren’t going to be grandparents.

.oOo.

Tuesday and Wednesday were absolutely agonizing. He couldn’t see Suki nor Katara. He wished that they would let them drop by after questioning. At least for ten minutes, he’d even take five. But he was a criminal as far as they were concerned and criminals didn’t get sympathy.

Sokka could only hope that Jet was receiving much harsher treatment than he.

.oOo.

Every time Suki looked in Katara’s direction or passed her in the hallway, the girl turned away from her. She was beginning to think that she’d have to sit with her softball team. Not that she completely detested the idea, but she could do without the doting they usually did.

She didn’t fancy leaving Katara alone either.

She took a deep breath and set her lunch tray down.  "Hey, Kat."

Apparently, the meal of the day was extra good because Katara was now wholly invested in it. "I'm gonna sit down, okay?" She had a good feeling that it wasn’t but she wiggled her way onto the bench anyhow. She nearly groaned, those lunch tables were not made to accommodate pregnant teens. It was only going to get worse as the baby bump became more prominent. With a huff, Suki asked, “are you doing okay?" The only response she earned for a while was Katara accidently brushing her arm against her.

"I wish you stuck this close to me at the party." Suki gulped. She shared the same sentiment. Why couldn’t she have just waited until she and Sokka got home? Katara had every right to be furious. "I didn't mean to…" She started. "You knew that I needed your help. The only reason I came to that party was to hang out with you and Sokka!" This was the first time Katara had ever snapped on her like that. "I was wondering why you didn't just want to hang out at home instead. It's harder to sneak away from your friend to have sex when it's just the three of you."

Suki let her head hang, knowing that Katara was only hollering the truth. "I know, it was stupid." "Stupid, yeah. Funny how I got to pay the price for your stupidity this time around.

Suki winced. That one had hit home. She stared down at her baby bump. The implication that her baby was simply a price to be paid, a punishment…

The worst part was, she had seen her baby as such too when she’d first seen that little plus sign.

.oOo.

It was salt in the wound to see Katara talking to Azula instead of her. It would seem that she was somehow lower than the girl who had gone out of her way to make Katara absolutely miserable. At least what she had done was an accident. She met Azula’s eyes only briefly and she wished nothing but the worst for her, swooping in and stealing Katara like that…

She waited until Katara was deeply into the conversation to leave the table. Katara probably wouldn’t even notice if she disappeared to the softball table.

As much as she wanted Katara to have someone to talk to, the idea of her choosing Azula was enough to drive her up the wall and then to the ceiling.

When Katara called her that night, she found herself feeling horrible for wishing Azula the worst. She had a feeling that Katara wouldn’t have reached out to her at all, if the other girl hadn’t made an attempt on her own life.

Suki hoped that she didn’t stress Katara out that much, she didn’t want the girl thinking that she was going to hurt herself too. But she had an inkling that Katara was reaching out to her just in case. She grabbed her car keys and gave her mother a goodbye and a warning that she may be spending the night with Katara.

Katara opened the door and let her inside. “Mom says you can spend the night.” She paused. “Will you spend the night with me?”

Suki nodded.

She followed Katara to her bedroom. It was more than a relief to be back there, she almost thought that she would never see the crazy overload of boy band posters nor the collection of octopus plush toys piled in every corner. The baby blue of the walls brought Suki a sense of calm and faintly she pondered upon how she’d be painting her baby’s nursery or if she would at all. It brought an ache to her heart, Sokka was supposed to help her with the paint job. He was supposed to help her pick the color.

As she laid her pillows and blankets out out Katara spoke up. “You can bring those onto the sofa, you shouldn’t be sleeping on the floor, you’re back is probably already killing you!”

Suki gave a soft laugh. “No kidding.”

“If you want, you can take the bed.”

“Sofa should be fine…” Suki trailed off.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk…”

Suki cut her off. “I think that you get an ass pass this time.”

“A what?!” Katara sputtered.

“An ass pass! You know, like a pass to be an asshole.”

“Gee, thanks.” Katara laughed.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Suki sobered. “You needed Sokka and I and we left you. You should be mad. If I were you I wouldn’t have called me over.”

She knew what Katara was going to say before she opened her mouth. “I didn’t want you to feel alone, like Azula…”

“I’m not going to hurt myself, Kat. I’ve got a baby on the way.” Suki assured.

“I didn’t want to take any chances.” Katara mumbled. “There’s already enough tragedy to go around. Shakespeare could write a play about us all.”

“Wow, you’re such a dork.” Suki tried to lighten the mood. “Really, Kat, I’ll be fine. I’m worried about Sokka, I wouldn’t do anything to make things worse for him.” She paused again. “Or for you.”

“I’m worried about him too! I’m so worried. And I’m worried about Azula. And Aang and Toph…” Katara rambled. “It seems like everyone’s having a bad time.”

“It’s kind of reassuring if you think about it.” Suki noted.

“Reassuring?”

“Yeah. To know that you’re not the only screw up.” She knew that Katara didn’t take solace there, so she added, “to know that you’re not alone.” She drummed her fingers on the top of her belly, in a few weeks she’d probably start feeling some kicking. “Everyone is going through something, maybe if we can all get it together we can help each other.”

“And Sokka gets on my case for being too optimistic.” Katara rolled her eyes.  Suki noticed her look down at her phone. She was quiet for a while. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you leave me?”

There it was, the question she dreaded because she couldn’t answer it. “I...I don’t know, Kat. It was a horrible idea, I was just tipsy and horny. I guess." That’s how her first happy accident came to be. She was just tipsy and horny. It was even worse reminding herself that she had drank enough to get tipsy with a baby in her belly. It hadn’t even occurred to her until just then and she feels tears coming to the surface. “Kat, what if I hurt the baby!?”

Katara sighed rather loudly. “I’m sure one night of drinking won’t do anything.”

The horror remained plain on her face.

“Alright, alright.” Katara plopped down in front of the computer. “How about we consult our, always truthful internet doctors.”

Suki rolled her eyes, she supposed that that would have to do until her appointment tomorrow.

.oOo.

Thursday was now Sokka’s favorite day of the week. It was a day that he hadn’t really put much thought into before hand. It was never the best day of the week but it was also never the worst. It was no Friday but at least it wasn’t Wednesday.

It was however, the day Yu-Ron opened his cell door and said, “you’re free to go.”

Sokka leapt off of the bed and hustled out of the cell as though he though Yu-Ron would shout, ‘just kidding’ and shut the door on him.

“But you will be place under a house arrest of sorts, until your trail. Meaning, you go to your classes and to any make-up sessions and then you go to your dorm and study. You will be monitored.” He held up a very stylish looking GPS bracelet. Sokka couldn’t wait to show that off to his mates. Yu-Ron handed him a few slips of paper. “Read them over and sign them and you’re free to go.”

Freer than he was now anyways.