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fuumiku · 2 months

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Selkie AU

Ok so on discord we went off. A lot of this is just paraphrasing or copy pasted from buddies hii guys. It’s honestly a fun concept to play with no matter how you turn it around~ I’ll start off with the version I drew these doodles for but it’s all under the cut because it got so long... There’s also always place for different flavors like if they realize the other’s a selkie immediately or over time, etc etc so this is all just food for thought. Marcille is always the instigator though lol, obsessed with him no matter the universe. As a selkie wants to learn more about this human and as a researcher is chasing after this secretive mysterious sea-guy while he very much tries to escape everyone’s attention.

Fisherman Chil & selkie Marcille

Old sad fisherman Chilchuck… He drinks out at sea even. Divorcee dad who’s got nothing waiting for him on land anymore. He’s on the sea every day to get fish to sell at the wet market or to the butcher, the sky and sea’s grey and everything’s dull and tedious. Seals are nothing special either. The only stuff he knows about selkies really could have some selkie storybooks he reads to his daughters. Meanwhile selkie Marcille… You could go a lot of different routes I feel. You know I feel like being a selkie fits with Marcille and her mom, with that interaction of "you’ll have to let others go and deal with that", like in this AU she’ll always be different and will have to leave people behind for the sea eventually here and there and whatnot…

Chilchuck and worksongs... Fisherman Chilchuck singing sea shanties while selkie Marcille sings her songs of the sea and then she hears him and gets curious and follows him back on land or something…… Tries to blend in with humans just so she’s like. What’s his deal. But them only meeting out at sea is very cute as well. Eventually she gets on his boat and they hang out. Melancholic psychological horror sea tragedy-romance would be fun idk. Maybe he starts hearing a woman sing out at sea randomly and thinks it’s the alcohol. But he’d be a goner already lmao. Like don’t get me wrong it’d take a while of actual interactions for him to actually fall in love, but also ~~he’s lonely~~ pretty blonde woman waaaa. Siren imagery hehe. "Hmmm I didn't know selkies had hypnotic voices as well" (they don't. he's down outrageous and he knows it.) Mr "in denial so bad maybe magic is the answer yep for sure". I want her to hear him singing something he used to for his daughters/wife etc and shes like 👁️👁️ who hurt this man........... (Could also work for selkie Chil) What’s his tragic backstory…..

I think marcille also deserves to go silly and catch a carp between her teeth, giving it to chilchuck batting her eyelashes like teehee... I'm such a good assistant right... He needs them undamaged if he wants to sell them but he still makes use of her gift anyway... Puts it in a stew and shares it with her... Something we made together..… Marcille being able to taste human food with actual spices and actual heat and actual cooked meat... His home is the warmest place on the surface. His hugs are more comforting than even the water’s. AGH and how long hasn’t he eaten a real homecooked meal you’d bet 😭 Marcille notices he’s underweight and is like "he’s always fishing though??? Does he just need like, a lot??" and takes it upon herself to bring him more fish to feed him. "He NEEDS to blubber up. I know it." Do you think when his wife was still there he'd come home to the smell of cooking.... but now there's nothing......... He’s on his own, he sleeps in the boat… It just smell like fish all day. The stench gets to him and even the burn of alcohol in his nostrils is a kinder hell. NOW he comes back to the stench of roting flesh and he's like :))) ahh.... my gi rl firned 💖 /j

Selkie Marcille getting onto his boat out of nowhere and slapping the beer bottle out of his hand. It’d go hard if he’s so drunk once that he’s leaning over the railing with his bottle hanging down from his grip and the beer goes into the sea and she tastes it and is like. Now what the fuck is this. Ew. He doesn’t look so good maybe I should splash him with water. She could save him from drowning... Girl who puts him on a rock somewhere until he wakes up and hides in the water as soon as he comes to… Peekinh at him from the surface of the water because, oh dear we're shy now because it's face to face… Drawing parallels between swaying (drunk) and swaying (motion of boat on the sea). She sways his world…… Makes him feel dizzy in a nice, light airy way…… He crashes into his bed in his home and still feels the rocking of the waves under him, and he falls asleep thinking of her…

Go out to the sea in a storm because you can’t stand feeling useless. The sea is your livelihood, it's where you're good and useful. On land you never know what to do with your hands. Maybe he should just let the sea pull him under. let it sweep him away. Marcille does exactly that, but it's not something that erases him. It's not something that swallows him whole. It's something that shows him a whole other world- The coral reefs, the schools of fish that exist below, the lush seaweed forests that Marcille treasures so much. It's all been there for him to see, theres so much beneath his feet. And all he had to do was let her take his hand. This world full of fish and creatures he's caught and gutted... that he gets to see in a different light…… The idea of him trusting her enough to let her lead him underwater... I think the time that Marcille leads him into the water should be on one beautiful evening, with the water shimmering, and the sun casting rays onto the waters surface- enough that it's still scary at first, enough that Chilchuck still struggles against the salty grasp of the waves, but when marcille takes him under he can see just how the light of the sun casts its spotlight on the seafloor- and how even in the shallows therein lies a thousand wonders, ones he's stepped right over before. I'm just obsessed with chilchuck experiencing a whole nother world in there. Give me childlike wonder. Give me a Marcille who wants to show her grump fucking fisherman boyfriend the cute fishies and the minnows, the pretty hermit crabs. Something about the sea looking different from beneath the waves... The parallels of him on the beach stepping over shells and urchins in the shallows with his boots and just crush them right over, not even noticing he did from force of habit and routine having dulled everything… Him working on the sea all the time but never really seeing it because he’s so absorbed in his own shit and he always just uses the harbor so there’s never real contact with it anyways. When the sea water laps at his forearms when he reels the net in but they feel like lashes of frost against his skin. She'd look really pretty with her hair flowy in the waves............ Marcille’s hair should get used for creepy compositions more… In the water she takes him under and her hair tangles and latch onto him against his skin. Her hair is long, underwater it could engulf him probably, he likes blonde hair he'd be happy with that… Not the lowkey suicidal ideation of letting the sea take him and how he’d be happy suffocating in her hair when doing a dive wow ok

I keep thinking about the Dredge AU… The video game yes yes. It’d be a mess but ohhh ohh the sea and its wonderful world but also its dark secrets, Marcille researching the depths and finding dark powers and idk the tragedy of a man at sea who can’t forget what he’s lost and the mythical gf he made that was never meant to be and it’ll destroy them both idk idk. Bc of Marcille helping him fish from below as a selkie, Senshi like YOU ARE OVERFISHING YOU ARE DESTROYING THE ECOSYSTEMMM @ them lmao You are feeding the whole town and making big bucks but you’re fishing so much that some fish are starting to get stale without being bought, the sea is bleeding and the leviathan is hungry

Maybe one time, one of them gets upset at the other and holds the seal fur hostage, its sooo mean but it also feels very them. When I think selkie I think of the movie Song of the Sea and in that movie the father of the protags loved a selkie, the mother, but she had to leave at one point for the sea because that’s her nature etc etc, but he didn’t want her to leave so he hid her skin which like. Ruined everything and hurt her. And ohhh the parallels… Leaving him… Just food for thought.

Selkie Chil & marine researcher Marcille

The reverse of that where Chil’s the selkie, Marcille’s fascination for him has the reverse angle, almost like admiration too. Crying she’d be like "who’s this mysterious guy, why’s he look kinda ethereal(selkie fairy blablabla)?" and investigates meanwhile he doesn’t want anyone to see him transforming and such so he’s like "leave me aloneeeeeee!!" Selkie chil? secretive man who just wants to chill gets grabbed by the most enthusiastic fairytale-obsessed girl out there. She WILL almost drown trying to say hi. C’mon mister mythical let’s have a storybook romance <3 Jumping in da water and he has to rescue her and immediately gains 100 grey hairs. She gets her storybook ‘saved by the merman’ moment but at what cost. "WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG" screaming, she gets scolded very much but it all goes in one ear out the other tbh. Selkie Chilchuck is even better with his secretiveness... How do you get around the fact you’re a seal? Iunno I’ve never been a seal Obsessed with the implications of his family in this. Except if his wife and daughters were humans and so his work travels are instead selkie shenanigans going out at sea for months on ends, I imagine they’d be selkies too… Did they get separated? Die? Is Chilchuck’s cowl in this one Flertom’s fur? :( Once more mentioning sea shanties Chilchuck btw, Roll the Old Chariot comes to mind… Ooough Song of the Sea from the movie that he sung to his daughters <33 I’m fine

With the researcher angle actually being pushed there are interesting plots and scenes you could think of obvi, but uh we kind of went off on the fisherman Chil Marcille selkie AU instead haha. It’d be cute if she ends up teaching him how to live on land in the end. Dresses him up like a funky lil guy. I went with tallman Chil when drawing it and selkie Marcille’s more elf-like, and for selkie Chil I’d imagine it’s the reverse where she’s tallman-like and he still looks like a halfling… Sea-related AUs are my weak spot <33

No matter how you turn it, Marcille is the instigator lol. Selkie Marcille: this little man… I want to know more about this human! Selkie Chilchuck = tries to avoid everything but this Marcille keeps chasing him! It’s her job to, Chilchuck minds his business!! He sees a sliver of something weird out at night? Not his job nope keep your nose out of that it’ll only bring you trouble. It’d have to really itch him at him for him to crack I think… Honestly he’d make a great lovecraftian horror protagonist lol. We love a girl with no chill and her nose in everyone’s business

Shout to to @dayundying, @cabinette, @soappox and @lucky-fydraws!! These people were there for the brainstorming and the writing of the scripture…

#Dunmeshi au #marchil #chilchuck tims #marcille donato #dredge au #Irish chilchuck ftw #also let’s be real chil would see a naked woman monster and be like oh… i am listening #Mean old fisherman ily. He wonders how seal jerky would taste. Surprisingly kind tho. Would pet the seal #If ppl want more specific credit or parts edited out just lmk #Tallman chilchuck

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wifegideonnav · 1 year

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for all its reputation as being super dark and depressing, harrow the ninth actually employs a type of wish fulfillment that is, in my opinion, dangerous unless you’re aware that that’s what it is.

because at its core, htn is about the vindication of grief - it’s about losing somebody and then suffering in such perfect agony that you get her back. in the universe of the book, harrow is correct to refuse to let gideon go, she’s correct to destroy herself over gideons death. she sacrifices literally everything she’s ever been or cared about, she debases herself completely, and in return, she gets gideon back.

and this type of thinking, if you bring it into the real world, is not healthy. a lot of pop culture tends to enforce this idea - that if you just hold on well enough, you’ll get what you want; or, put another way, that if you let go, you never cared in the first place. but i think it’s important to be extra cognizant of this concept’s place in htn, precisely because people find it to be such a “real” depiction of grief and loss. as readers, especially as i know many in the fandom are also mentally ill, also grieving their own tragedies, we need to keep in mind that necromancy is still just a fiction, and that there is no reward for suffering. in real life, the prize you get for suffering is more suffering.

i know it may seem silly to post this like, “reminder that magic isn’t real guys!1” but the idea of being rewarded for suffering is so entrenched in our culture, and it’s especially insidious when you have a mental illness in your ear whispering that you deserve to suffer anyway, and clearly this is all your fault, and if they stay gone it means you didn’t do everything you could, and -

i’m making this post to say: please take care of yourselves. go to therapy, or support groups, or find other ways your community can help you. strive for healing. don’t let them be a dead body you drag behind you. and never fall into the trap of believing that the more you suffer, the more deserving you are

#op #been thinking about this for a while but today seemed the day to post it #also: tamsyn muir sure is Catholic huh lmao #tlt #the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #htn

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oliveroctavius · 8 months

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Doesn't the decision to get involved with Sam Bullit prove Gwen was a bad person?

Hey, I've been looking for an excuse to post about this. The Sam Bullit arc isn't really about Gwen (though it certainly reveals some things about her character). The Sam Bullit arc is about racist dogwhistles and why they work.

ASM #92 pg 19: "I will bring law and order to the people of this great city! I will show no mercy to the anarchists and all others who would destroy our way of life!"

Bullit's platform is not openly white supremacist in the sense that it doesn't overtly mention race. He talks about laws and safety in a way meant to appeal to rich white voters. The true meaning should be clear to anyone with any political awareness (who are those others and what is our way of life?), so why does this rhetoric attract "otherwise rational" people?

ASM #91 pg 6: "I want to volunteer to help you--in your campaign for DA. Because--I want you to bring Spider-Man to justice!" "We need strength--strength to punish those who mock the law! I will use such strength to bring Spider-Man and others like him to justice! I will not betray your trust."

Gwen makes her decision to back Bullit on the way home from her father's funeral. There's a very real phenomenon of tough-on-crime bills named after (white) murder victims. The grief of families who feel like justice hasn't been served is a powerful tool to push harsh laws while smothering any criticism as "disrespectful" to the victims. What’s in a Name? An Empirical Analysis of Apostrophe Laws, 2020.

Bullit showed up at George Stacy's funeral with this exact goal in mind, and when Spider-Man "kidnaps" Gwen later, he leverages the media obsession with white girls in danger for his cause. Gwen is a pawn, but she did offer her help first. Her desire for closure is very human and her short-sighted reactionary faith in "the law" is very white.

Oddly absent from your "proven bad person" takeaway is J. Jonah Jameson. The Bugle lends Bullit a platform to make Gwen's personal tragedy a political talking point. JJJ has the ~Black best friend~ excuse and everything, and he still blows past red flags like crazy.

ASM #91 pg 7: "Maybe they were better days than now! At least we had law and order then." "Yeah--and lynch mobs, and bread lines, and Uncle Toms..." "Come off it, Robbie! What's wrong with a man standing for law and order, anyway?" "Maybe it just depends on whose law--and what kind of order you're talkin' about, man!"

(Another point of this arc: marginalized groups learn to recognize dogwhistles pretty quickly for survival reasons. If they tell you something is a dogwhistle and you don't see it yet, look closer.)

ASM #92 pg 9: "Parker's story just served to open Jameson's eyes--but I've kept a dossier on you. I haven't been city editor all these years for nothing! I know where your support comes from. I know about the lunatic hate groups who are backing you. I know what you really mean by law and order!"

Late in the campaign, the Bugle switches sides. This scene tends to be described as JJJ giving the racists what-for, but the moment is truly Robbie's. (Note that it took Peter getting roughed up for Jameson to take this seriously!) JJJ can yell at Bullit all he likes without consequences, but Robbie is kidnapped and threatened by white supremacists in retaliation. It's Robbie's determination to speak up that eventually puts Bullit out of the running for good.

The Bullit arc isn't there to sort characters by Bad Person and Good Person. Neither Gwen nor JJJ have to personally hate black people for their self-centered sense of safety to be weaponized by a racist agenda. This is a Stan Lee PSA about masked bigotry and how it might appeal to you even if you consider yourself a Good Person.

But for some ~mysterious~ reason, Gwen's brief agreement and Jameson's brief rejection are the only parts of these two issues I ever see brought up, with Robbie's major role not mentioned at all. Some ideas fit more neatly than others into smug ship-war quote tweets and anon asks, it seems.

#olivertxt #comics #reductionist takes from people who clearly do not care about this arc have been getting under my skin for ages #gwen stacy #robbie robertson #jjj #/ racism

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gayboysteve · 6 months

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Genuinely why do people think Steve can't be a fully actualized person and a love interest at the same time? Do you guys just passively consume media without, like, paying attention? Steve has been his own fully developed person since season two. We don't need to know ever detail of his life to know who he is as a person. We know the moral fiber of his character and the strength of his will. We know he loves passionately and will do anything to help. We know he's a catty bitch that doesn't get along with his dad.

Not... everything has to be shown to us for Steve to be a real fleshed out character. There are definitely places where things fall flat (letting him even feel pain after his many beatings or torture of being eaten) but being a love interest is not one of the things where the Duffers have fucked up on him. Besides Nancy, he has the most character development out of the teens and he has an actual character arc that's been percolating since season one.

You don't need to ship Stancy or like it. That's not necessary. I personally wasn't a shipper until recently (though I never hated it like some people, I've just always focused more on the Steve and the kids or Steve and Robin) and I have to say it makes a lot of sense in the scheme of things for the love triangle to be reignited. Steve and Jonathan are not just contenders for Nancy's love, they both represent something for her journey and her picking one of them will be indicative of the path she's taking. Steve's speech about learning to crawl forward wasn't just about him, that was a display of what Steve's character can offer to Nancy's character as a romantic partner. The ability to learn to MOVE ON. TO CRAWL FORWARD.

Nancy as we know is still trapped in her grief from Barb and while Jonathan has helped her get justice from that tragedy he never helped her move PAST the pain of it. One represents moving forward, and Jonathan sadly this last season, represented regression.

Personally, I think it's Jonathan more than anyone that needs to not be in a relationship. It hasn't ever seemed to make him happy. I don't think Jonathan will ever be happy until he's allowed to get away from his family a little bit. The parentification Joyce did to him really fucked that boy up and he needs, in my opinion, to focus on himself more than anyone.

Nancy has expressly stated before that she doesn't want to be alone! Steve has expressly stated he wants love and romance and a family! They're still young they can work out their future later, why can't they find some happiness in coming back together stronger and more fully self actualized? More mature and developed? I think it actually makes for a very fitting end from a narrative standpoint which is, honestly, what convinced me to switch over to the ship in the first place.

Neither Steve nor Nancy have ever been reduced to just love interests. Even in season one when Steve is explicitly introduced as only a love interest, he actually has his own character arc going on. All following seasons Steve and Nancy (whether dating, broken up, or flirting) have all had plots not related to their romance. No one is being reduced to just a romantic interest. Unfortunately, poor Jonathan is the one that got that treatment. He's the one that needs to have something devoted to just him; something that isn't just being a brother or a boyfriend. Giving him a friend was a step in the right direction. Let's give him a dream now and not just something that we hear from Joyce. A real dream from Jonathan's mouth. Because all we've heard from him are the things he DOESN'T want for the future.

Also Stoncy supremacy anyway. Let all three fuck nasty.

(Let's not bring up the whole six nuggets things. I highly doubt Steve is actually going to expect six children from his future partner. It was a reference to the party. It was him lightening the mood and trying to bring some levity to a serious, and frankly, terrifying, situation. It was him trying to make Nancy laugh while laying his heart on the line. He's not expect six literal children.)

#steve harrington #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #stancy #stoncy #stranger things

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hollandsfavbabe · 5 months

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Where Do We Go Now

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which the death of y/n's father leaves her determined to bring him back and her boyfriend peter determined to save her

warnings: endgame aftermath, death, parental loss, isolation, suicide attempt (but magical?), it gets better - I promise

word count: 7.1k

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual notes, but I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long and why this story is a lot sadder than my usual ones. My community has been riddled with tragedy recently as we've lost a lot of people to suicide this past year, some of which have been as young as middle school age. One of my friends died by suicide a couple months ago. I can't express to you guys how hard it's been trying to deal with the pain and the guilt his death has caused me and my loved ones. So many days have passed where I wish I could've been a better friend for him while he was here. It hurts more knowing that other people are hurting too. Writing this was the best way for me to cope for many reasons. I wanted to write about how I'm feeling and honor my friend in some way even if it's through a silly little fanfiction. I know I'm late, but I also wanted to honor one of my favorite characters, Tony Stark as he canonically died this past October. That being said, if you are struggling please, I implore you, talk to someone. There are so many people on this planet who would be so torn without you. My dms are always a safe space if you need anything at all <3

Also I'd like to thank Gracie Abrams for her music that I had on repeat the entire time I was writing this. I hope you like it!

“I am Iron Man.”

The words replayed in your head, over and over like a broken record with no one to turn it to a new tune. That’s exactly how you felt. So alone in your grief that even if miraculously every wish you'd ever made in the whole of your existence had been granted, it still wouldn’t be enough to make you happy again. To make you feel anything besides the constant regret and incessant grief that anchored you down as you wasted away in your bed.

It had been exactly a week since the passing of the great Tony Stark. Everyone else in the compound had mourned their coworker, riddled by a somewhat lesser version of your sadness for only a few days after his death. It’s not as if their grief had been washed away as if it never stained their cheeks with tears or weighed down their hearts with sorrow, but it eased much quicker than yours and before long they could continue their duties. Everything was so much harder for you because Tony hadn’t just been a coworker. He was your father.

You relieved every memory you had of him like bittersweet torture. You remembered when he held you as a little girl, wiping up a bloodied knee. When he discovered you had powers and helped you control them. Later on when he banned you from joining in on the Avenger’s Civil War and afterwards when he thanked you for sneaking in to help anyway. You could almost feel his comforting embrace as if it was only yesterday that he was assuring you before a failed battle against the mad Titan Thanos, the same one that left you dusted and missing your father’s last five years on Earth. And finally, of course, you remember his last moments all too well. It played out before you like the tragic ending of a stage play.

“Let me do it,” you shouted over the sound of war cries and carnage that surrounded you on the packed battlefield. “I can take it!”

You were almost certain that your power, your immeasurable magic, could handle the debilitating strength of the Infinity Stones making you the most reasonable choice for snapping Thanos and his army out of existence, but your father refused to risk losing his eldest.

“No,” he breathed, the metal plate shielding his chest rising and falling from the heat of the action. There was only one way to succeed, only one way to put a stop to the destruction of the universe. It had to be him. “I won’t risk losing you, not while you’re still so young. You have so much life ahead of you.”

“Not without you!” you cried, a tear streaming from your eye.

There wasn’t much time for your conversation as the world was moments away from being wiped of its human history, but despite the odds your father pulled you into a tight hug, as if he knew it would be the last. You both did.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known and I’m so proud of what you’ve become already.” he smiled when you finally pulled apart.

“I need you dad,” you sobbed, still reluctant to let him leave you. With the threat of his death, suddenly Thanos’ defeat didn’t matter anymore. Not nearly as much as having your father by your side. “I’m not ready.”

Your dad looked down on you with the saddest of smiles, but if any part of him was upset about his decision, he made no other hint toward it. He just held you close for as long as possible and comforted you in the way that you could always count on him for. In the way, it hit you, that you could never count on him for again. But yet, in the face of death, he cradled you close and spoke in his signature fatherly tone: assertive yet on the edge of softness.

“No one’s ever ready -,” he answered truthfully. “- but I know you can handle it. You always do.”

You looked up at him as he finally pulled away and headed towards the purple giant, but not before turning to you for one final declaration.

“I love you, junior, to the edge and back again.”

And then he was gone. You never got the chance to say it back.

Yours was the last name he uttered before his heart stopped beating and the light on his suit went out. By then Pepper had already said her goodbyes and you both were huddled close to his body, weeping as the other Avengers knelt around you in honor of your father. Peter was hunched behind you, one hand on your shoulder while the other worked to wipe away his own tears. Oh Peter, you had your father to thank for him.

It was Tony who was credited with setting you up with your long term boyfriend, Peter Parker, even if it was a complete accident. You two had gotten acquainted on a fateful plane ride to Germany and eventually ended up together after many failed attempts at confessing your feelings. There was something about him that had you smitten with him from your first encounter, your liking only strengthened when you learned that your father approved. He’d been with you through thick and thin and even now, Peter was the only person who could even remotely share your pain besides Pepper. Tony was like his father too.

He’d taken care of you ever since the incident. Brought you food and water, helped you dress in your black attire for the funeral, laid with you in your bed each night to calm you whenever you awoke in a nightmarish terror. He showed his love for you prevailing over his grief in the most selfless of ways and yet all you had managed to do since you father’s funeral was stand to use the restroom every once in a while. It piled on more weight that your poor soul could already take. You were nothing, but a miserable burden now.

The door to your room opened with squealing hinges as Peter stepped in, returning from school where he had spent the morning reuniting with your shared friends and finding out when the official return date was. You were supposed to join him, but instead you hadn’t moved an inch since he left. It wasn’t as if you wanted to waste the entire day in your lonely sheets again. You yearned for everything to go back to how it was; when Peter was happy and you could share it with him. When your father used to smile upon the two teens he didn’t mean to bring together. When your father was alive.

“Hey,” he said, softly as if not to startle you from your endless torturous pondering. He set something down on your dresser, a small stack of papers he must have gathered from the school, and removed his fall coat before sauntering over to you. The bed creaked and shifted under his weight as he took a seat next to you. “Good news, we don’t have to go back until the next semester so we get a break until January. Ned was asking about you. He wants to know how you’re doing.”

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes red-rimmed from all of your crying and your lips cracked and dry.

“What did you tell him?” you croaked, your voice hoarse from under use. There was little to talk about and no one else to talk to whenever Peter wasn’t around. Pepper had visited you once, but with Morgan to look after, she couldn’t spare much time for her late husband’s grieving daughter. You’d seen Happy a couple times as well, but he needed his own time to recover and reflect on his past time with his best friend.

Peter was gentle as he tucked some of the hair strands snot cemented to your jaw behind your ear and cupped your cheek in his palm. He was cold from the autumn chill outside, but his hand ignited the same soothing heat that his touch always brought forth.

“I said you were recovering,” he answered truthfully. “And that it’s different for everyone. And no matter how long it takes, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

The ghost of a smile graced your lips and had it not felt like it stopped beating after losing your father, your heart may have fluttered in its cavity in your chest.

“Thanks Peter,” you curled closer to him in the most sincere of ways. “But I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before I can get up to see Ned again. Give him my best.”

“Take your time. I’m sure he understands.” Peter assured before pulling off his flannel and laying down beside you to wrap you in his arms, allowing you to tuck your face in his chest. As unhappy as you were, all the swirling emotions of suffering were always suppressed by the sound of Peter’s heart and the feel of his body around yours. You stayed like that for a while, holding each other before Peter broke the silence as it neared time for your midday meal.

“I think you should come with me today,” Peter suggested, rising to run his daily lunch retrieval before running a loving hand through your hair. You couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. You hadn’t been able to wash in over a week. “It’s not good for you to stay here all day long. You need to start moving.”

His voice was full of worry, though he wasn’t overbearing. He wanted the best for you, it’s all he ever wanted really.

“I don’t know Peter, I don’t think I can.” you sighed as tears started to fill your eyes again. How could anyone stand to be around you when you were being so pathetic. You wished there was a way to erase your pain, anything to bring you to your normal self again.

“It's okay baby,” Peter hugged you into a tight embrace, kissing your tears as they fell in slow salty streams. “I know it hurts, I feel it too. But I read somewhere that the best thing to do is keep a consistent routine. Maybe you should start today. Come get lunch with me.”

You wanted to agree, but there was no part of you that could move from the weight of your grief. It pressed you down, gravity multiplied by the mass of your sadness as it consumed you. It felt as if only a miracle could save you now.

“I’m so sorry.” you stated with remorse, but Peter made no move to share his disappointment if he had any at all. Instead he leaned down from his seated position and placed his lips on your forehead, a gesture as if to say that all was alright.

“Please don’t cry, y/n. It’s okay.” he assured you before standing to leave and get you something that you figured you probably wouldn’t even eat very much of.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning the handle of your door to leave before looking back at you sprawled on your bed. Suddenly, as if he had recalled the cure to the rainiest of days, he expression shifted to one of great excitement as he stopped back into your room.

“I almost forgot,” he began. “Doctor Strange was here earlier. He wanted me to tell you he’s offering some meditation sessions for you if you’re interested. He said they’d be good for your powers and that they might help you feel better if you want to think about it. He’s free at 8 tomorrow.”

You nearly perked up at the sound of the man’s name, picking up your head to cast a last longing glance at Peter as he waited for a parting word.

“Thanks,” you managed. “I’ll let you know.”

And off Peter went to get you both something to eat.

You weren’t sure if he knew how dangerous it was for you to be left with your thoughts, how the mention of the magic doctor sprouted a myriad of mystical ideas all aimed at the same goal that would erase your eternal lonesome aching. How to bring your father back. By the time Peter returned with his hands full of two homemade sandwiches and more sweets than the two of you could ever finish in one sitting, your mind had been made up and you were ready to set the plan in motion.

The following evening was your first time out of the confines of your rooms for days. Peter had helped you greatly with all the tasks you did not have the mental power to do all on your own. He had brushed your hair and made your bed and before you left in one of the less expensive cars held on Avenger’s campus, he sent you off adorned with one of his favorite sweatshirts, a peck on the forehead and enough I love you’s to last more than a lifetime.

You pulled the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt over your palm as you drove off, using the cloth to wipe away fresh tears that had fallen after you left your boyfriend’s loving gaze. You’d always been an overthinker, but your bad habits crept up on you worse in your unbreakable stage of sadness. Especially in your father’s favorite car.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t left you already. Maybe he would. Peter had offered to join you at Strange’s, but after you insisted you had to go alone, he made plans to go help his Aunt May figure out their apartment situation as the pair had been inadvertently kicked out after being gone for so many years. You’d almost forgotten he used to split his nights between the compound and his own bedroom. Recently he’d only stay with you.

He promised to be back before dinner so that the two of you could keep up your progress, but an unsolicited voice within you convinced you that he wouldn’t want to return. You weren’t good enough for him anymore, not like you used to be. Your plan was better for the both of you and as you pulled up to the familiar building on Bleecker Street, all the pieces started to fall into place.

You stepped up to the door, raising your fist to knock only for the door to crack open by itself as if to invite you in. You waited for the familiar sternness of Doctor Strange’s voice to greet you once you were past the stone floored foyer, but only wisps of the autumn breeze caught your ear.

“Strange?” you called, your voice still not stable enough to be louder than a whispery dialogue. You were met with no response. It was just like you had planned. The wizard wasn’t home.

You felt a strong tug towards the room of your desires, the forbidden library. It was as if fate was leading you or some other force from above, another sign that you were meant to do it.

Your steps were more sure than they had been in days as you made your way to the self, passing any magical fire walls with the sheer unfiltered strength of your powers. Strange once told you that they were guided by your emotion, the quintessential essence of every magic holder even to people like you and Wanda Maximoff who were outside of his world protecting wizard cult. It was easier than it should have been, like slicing paper with a katana, you broke each enchantment until all that was left was the cool leather cover of the book you were looking for. The book with every answer you needed inside its ancient yellowing pages, but you only needed the spell that would revive your father. Locating it near the middle of the book, your tore out the page and turned back to your car, leaving the Sanctum with the same unhurried pace you had entered it with. There was no stopping you now.

Peter was only an half an hour late for your agreed meet up time when he arrived at the campus. He expected you’d be in your room as per usual and as he made his way to your door, the excitement of getting to hold you and talk about your first day out of the campus since the funeral built up in his chest. He wasn’t sure if any accomplishment in the world could make him as proud as he was of you. With two brown paper bags of groceries in his hand, he couldn’t wait to shower you in the affection that you deserved with all of your favorite snacks, enough to share of course.

“Y/n,” he smiled, using his webbing to open your door handle only to find, much to his disappointment, that you were nowhere to be found.

He checked all over campus, leaving the bags by your bed. No one had seen you since you’d left and the spot where the car you’d taken was still empty, the normally pristine concrete covered in fallen crisp maroon leaves. It didn’t make any sense. Where could you possibly have gone?

“Y/n!” he called, circling the perimeter of the campus looking for you. There was still no sign of your reappearance. “Y/n- oh. Hi Ms. Maximoff.” Peter forced a strained smile as he nearly bumped into the woman.

“Peter, we’ve been over this,” Wanda answered, her voice calm. “You can call me Wanda.”

Like you, the witch hadn’t been doing the best in recent days as she had lost something just as valuable as a father: her partner. While she occasionally had days where the ground would’ve been lucky to feel the grace of her step, her superhero duties had kept her from spending each day hidden from society. She had a different way of coping, but like others, she seemed to start getting back into routine again.

“Right, sorry Wanda.” Peter apologized.

“What are you doing out here?” inquired the witch in her native Sokovian accent, always intuitive. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s y/n. I can’t find her anywhere and we agreed to meet back here nearly - an hour ago!” Peter pulled up his coat sleeve to check the time on his watch, the face of which bore a picture of him and your father from only a few months before the snap. It had been a birthday gift, one of his favorites in fact, though it couldn't top what you had given him the same year: a lego set and your first kiss.

“I didn’t know that she got out of bed. That’s a big step!”

“Yes it is and we were going to celebrate tonight, but she hasn’t come back yet which is really not like her.” worried Peter.

“Where did she go?”

“Strange’s. He was going to give her a meditation lesson for her powers.”

Confused, Wanda's eyebrow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Doesn’t she know how to use them already?”

“Yes, but he thought it would help her manage her grief. Working out is a pretty common method, but she hates going to the gym so he figured some meditation would be better for her and -“

“Wait, hold on. Did she go to him this morning?”

“Yes and she was supposed to be back around noon, but it’s nearly six and she’s still gone.” Peter explained.

“Peter!” Wanda chided. She couldn't believe he could make such a grave mistake.

“What?”

“Strange hasn’t been at the Sanctum all day!”

“What?! Where is he?”

“Do I look like a wizard to you?" the witch gestured to her casual leggings and cardigan pairing that drastically differed from Strange's usual eccentric costumes. "How should I know?”

As if summoned by the topic of conversation, a figure appeared in the distant grass, hovering over the blades until he was close enough to be able to walk. His cape that flowed in the breeze like a blood red stream with a mind of its own was a dead give away. Doctor Strange had indeed arrived in the flesh.

“Parker,” he greeted, though he did not smile. “Is Ms. Stark ready for our lesson?”

Peter’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake.

“Oh no.” he muttered, shaking his head in defeat. He was met with confusion from the wizard.

“No?” Strange repeated. “We agreed upon 8 didn't we? I know I'm a little early, but I assumed she wouldn't be busy. Didn’t you let her know I was coming?”

“Yes,” Peter confirmed. “I told her to be ready and then I sent her off to your place at 8… am.”

“What?!” Strange exclaimed as he summoned a portal to appear leading directly to his found home on Bleecker Street. He stepped through the fiery ring, a silent invitation for the others to follow as he hurried passed your car, up the steps, and into the door which did not part of him the same way it had earlier. Inside he was met with the most frightful of discovers accompanied by the looming feeling of doom as the situation became clear.

The Sanctum, unguarded with his absence, lay littered with books that had fallen from their homes on his shelf’s yet one stood out from all the others. It laid on the floor open with its pages to the ground while every other book was shut. Levitating it with the simple flick of his wrist, a horrifying sight awaited Strange as he turned it over. One of the pages in the sacred book was missing.

“Do you know how serious this is?!” Strange exclaimed and although Peter at first took it as a barbed criticism aimed directly at him, he was able to distinguish Strange’s tone from when he was reprimanding. This was a separate kind of worry, the sort of tone that he had used heavily on the fated spaceship you three had been stuck in until you landed on Titan, Thanos’ home world, nearly five years ago. Treachery was afoot and if your powers were involved, the whole fabric of your current reality could change.

“Which one did she take?” Wanda pointed to the book, clearly noticing the giant tear in its center.

Strange’s voice answered, heavy with concern. “The revival spell.”

“You don’t think she knows, do you? She can’t possibly know how to conjure it.” asked Wanda, the same concern for their future written all over her face.

“That’s exactly what I think.” Strange confirmed.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you guys talking about?”

“There are many types of magic, Parker, and the Sanctum, the building where you sent your girlfriend, is full of all of them, good and bad alike. Every spell comes with a price, the bigger the spell, the bigger the price and the spell she took comes with one of the biggest prices there is to pay.”

“Think about it, Peter,” Wanda paled. “What does y/n want most in the world right now?”

It hit Peter harder than fresh fallen hail. You were going to try to bring your father back.

“We have to find her. Now.”

Strange tried to use his sling ring to appear wherever you were, but in your grief, the extent of your powers had grown massively. Intentionally or not, you managed to prevent even the most powerful of wizards from using his Sling Ring to access your location.

“She's blocked me out.” Strange frowned. “We’re going to have to track her on foot.”

“She can’t be far,” Peter agreed. “She always takes the shortest path whenever she wants something.” It was one of the many things he loved about you: your ability to turn any taxing task into something much simpler. You were one of the cleverest people he knew. He just hoped it didn’t work in your favor this time.

It was Wanda who had the idea of tracking your magic. She led them to the nearest withering woodland area, where trees with bare branches and dying leaves sprawled endlessly. It was the perfect place to perform dark magic, away from the unyielding eyes of society. The trio didn’t hesitate to run in.

The further they got, the closer you felt especially to Peter despite the fact that he was the only one without his own source of magic. If he lost you tonight, he feared he’d never feel any sort of magic ever again.

They were only half an acre in when Wanda and Strange called out in anguish, the witch falling to her knees while Strange stayed standing, pounding the air with his fist as his trying to break through an invisible barrier though it was to no avail. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn’t fading anytime soon.

“Keep going, Parker!” he shouted, urging Peter forward. “You’re the only one who can stop her. The spell will only allow that which she loves.”

“How do I do it?” Peter shouted. “How do I stop the spell?”

“The page,” Wanda replied, quicker than Strange could as his reply was easy for her to access. “You have to tear it apart.”

Without wasting a second more, Peter sprung back towards where he could feel you, running without fatigue as his superhuman endurance supplied him with plenty of energy.

It was only a minute later that he caught his first sign of you. There was a break in the tree line out of which a bright amber glow poured like an incandescent warning. It was a dramatic contrast from the normal comforting emerald greens of your magic, but it was you nonetheless and Peter didn’t stop until he was so close he had to shade his eyes from the light.

If it weren’t for the dark nature of what you were doing, Peter would’ve considered it one of the most beautiful events he’d ever seen take place. He wasn’t sure if the circle of trees that surrounded you had been a natural formation or one you made for the sake of the spell, but he was sure the way they seemed to bend to your will, despite the hard wood of their birch trunks, had to be because of your power. In the center of it all was you and the page you had stolen atop a pile of purple and golden leaves. You stood before it, eyes closed as you whispered some sort of incantation. Your powers spread above you in orange flickering flames as you outstretched your arms and summoned what looked like the beginnings of a portal, though it was hard to peer through like a bride covered in a veil of night black.

Peter shouted your name, screaming for you to stop, but you didn’t so much as flinch as the portal grew. You couldn’t hear him over the force of your will. He could start to feel what Wanda and Strange were trapped behind. There was some sort of invisible wall that threatened to push him back from you, but he couldn’t be defeated. He had to stop you. Step by step, he got closer and closer to you, watching in horror as your body was lifted from the ground and floated in midair. A new energy started weeping through the fabric that covered your chest, soft and white like a sheer glittering fabric. It drifted towards the portal and as Peter neared you he could make out the outline of a face forming from it in the black center of it. It started to take shape, growing a neck and a body and becoming more concrete than a fragmented part of your energy. He became more unmistakable as the color grew back into his face. Tony Stark, in the flesh. Peter hurried towards the page.

You opened your eyes to gaze into the face of your father, tears flowing down your face partially from the exhaustion of bringing him back and from being able to see him again.

You tried to say something, tell him how much you had missed him, but you were left rendered without a voice. Your words came out as mouthed nonsense, though it seemed he had regained his voice.

“Y/n,” he uttered, though it seemed more like a warning than a greeting after being torn from you for so long.

You mouthed something you knew he’d understand. I love you too, dad.

Some other force called your name, but you ignored it. You couldn’t focus on anything else, but the father you had lost regaining life right in front of you. With every part that he gained, you felt a part of your fade. It wasn’t painful, more numbing than anything like the final dose to end all your sadness. You couldn’t help but relish in it. You were bringing back one of the greatest men to ever live.

You were so distracted, you missed the web that landed on the page below you and pulled it away.

“Y/n,” your dad said again, nearly having enough of one of his legs to step out of the portal when suddenly, the inky blackness swallowed him whole again and dissolved in the forest light, taking back the only thing you ever wanted.

“NO!” you cried as your voice returned to you and you fell back down to the dry grass and dead leaves, crumpled on the forest floor as all of the magic you had summoned faded away save for the glittering cloud that returned to your chest with such force it made you cough. You had failed.

“Y/n!” someone called and you shuddered away from their hand on your shoulder as loud sobs erupted from you.

“Leave me!” you begged. “Just leave!” Peter refused to leave your side, tossing behind him the page he had shredded into tiny scraps of paper as he knelt beside you, careful not to touch you again. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you take him from me?”

“You were going to die! I couldn’t let you di-“

“I WANTED TO DIE!”

Peter froze as you whimpered, the truth spreading above the both of you in the cold air like storm clouds as you cried to him.

“I want him back. Everyone wants him back. No one cares about his depressed daughter and I don’t want to hurt anymore, Peter.” you paused to take a deep breath. “It- it hurts so much.” you could barely get the words out as you were choked by your sobs. “It hurts knowing I could’ve saved him. It hurts knowing it should’ve been me that snapped those stupid stones. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. I had to try to bring him back for the world. It needs him more than it needs me.”

You brought a hand to your face, wiping away some of your tears, though it was no use as more came pouring out.

“I need you.” uttered Peter, looking into your glossy eyes. The sight of your tears and the echo of your screams couldn’t deter him from you. You can’t be repelled from the ones that you love.

“But you miss him, don’t you,” you argued as hot tears coated your face. “You want him back too.”

Peter nodded in agreement.

“I think about him everyday. Our moments together. Like this one time he saved me from drowning in a lake. Or-“ Peter grinned. “- remember when he caught us making out that one time before we told him we were together. He was so mad.” Peter smiled to himself, looking fondly on the memory until he began again.

“I miss him so much and it makes me so sad that I'll never see him again. But I wouldn’t trade you for him. I wouldn't trade you for anyone. You’re worth more to me than anyone else in the universe.”

Your sobs slowed yet the tears did not cease as they still cascaded down your face.

“It hurts me so much.” you restated.

Peter opened his arms. “May I?” he asked. You nodded and before you knew it, you were engulfed by a warmth unlike any other as Peter hugged you tight enough to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave him again.

“I know you do,” he related. "And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could just bag all your pain and throw it all away. But it doesn't work like that. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, so much so that you won't move from bed for days and days. You haven't."

"But I feel like everyone else has already moved on. Why can't I?" you shivered.

"No one else was as close to him as you. Everyone else lost a friend. You lost a father. There's a big difference. You can't expect yourself to move on from it. That's not healthy. It's just like I said, I'm here for you no matter how long it takes. You have to take your time with it, don’t rush the process." Peter pressed the lightest of kisses to one of your dampened cheeks.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Breathe."

As silly as it sounded in its simplicity you did as he instructed and inhaled deeply, allowing the air to coat your lungs that hadn’t been exposed to so much fresh air in a week. As you exhaled, you let out another sob in his arms, but somehow it felt better than all the others. You were not rid of your pain by any means and sadness still corroded your core, but for the first time in so long, you didn’t feel so hopeless. Peter placed another gentle kiss on your cheek, encouraging you as you took several more slow breaths and quiet cries until you found the strength to speak again.

“Was it like this for you when your parents died?” you wondered aloud as you pulled away from Peter to look into his chocolate brown eyes that you almost forgot you loved so much, yet not so far that he couldn't keep his arms around your frame that was still bearing his sweatshirt. You hadn’t spoken much about them before and while you weren’t sure where the question had arisen from, it felt like the right thing to ask.

“I was so young when they passed, sometimes I feel like they were never mine to begin with,” he admitted. “I took a couple days off school when it happened, but I don’t remember crying all that much. It’s tragic and sometimes it makes me sad that they’re gone, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a reminder that they were there for me in the first place, that I knew them enough to miss them. The grief is proof that I loved them while they were here.”

You were both silent for a moment as you thought about his words in relation to your situation. All your pain was put into perspective. Everything you had been through since he died, all the days you wasted away in bed, it was all the proof that you had loved him so much when he was alive and that you were still carrying the love you had left for him. You missed your father so much you were willing to die to get him back and for a moment, you almost did.

You parted from Peter’s arms to stand though you still grasped onto his hands as you weren’t strong enough to be upright on your own. You closed your eyes again and listened to the sound of the forest, the swaying of the leaves that still clung to their branches, the faint twittering of birds, and the calm of the sky that was oddly cloudless for autumn. The sound of your name falling from your father’s reformed lips was still faint in the air and for a moment you felt as though you were with him again.

You remembered when he taught you how to ride a bike one evening when you were only four. You remembered the day he pulled you from public school and started teaching you at home. You remembered the look of shock on his face when you showed him your powers for the first time and even more, you remember his pride when you completed your first mission with the Avengers (that he'd approved ahead of time to avoid any more Germany -like surprises). He wasn’t there, but at the same time he was everywhere. And you missed him, but at the same time the absence he left in your life felt less empty.

The tears came out in slow smooth streams, flowing down in slow trickles as you finally sat back down. You didn’t say anything and neither did Peter, but you knew he could feel what you felt. He could feel your father too and minutes slipped by as you sat and cried together.

There was a sudden rustling in the distance and soon enough, Doctor Strange and Wanda had arrived at the scene, no longer held back by invisible barriers. They rushed to you bringing flooding guilt through your system as you began to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Strange opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. You could tell by his expression that he was disappointed, but there was more to it. He had empathy.

It was Wanda that leaned down to place a friendly hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home.”

The months following were some of the hardest of your life. Every battle you faced was uphill, but you no longer felt like you were fighting alone. You started going out again, first to visit Pepper and your half sister Morgan who lived in their cabin home. Peter joined you of course, but he played with Morgan for the most part while you and Pepper talked. You cried with her, but you laughed a lot too. She shared with you so many of her own memories, times when your father didn't know what to get you for your birthday, when he had managed to mess up cooking dinner in the strangest of ways, and when he’d accidentally burned your favorite stuffed animal in the drying machine all of which Pepper had to remedy. Though she hadn’t raised you, she was the mother you never had and through her stories you learned that your father had been just as good raising Morgan with her as he had been with you.

You hung out with Ned and MJ again shortly after that. While Peter had suggested a brief check-in at a cafe so you could go home quickly to rest, you surprised him with a much more time consuming idea: laser tag. The four of you had the best time targeting each other, you winning more rounds than any of the others. You ended the day with smoothies, talking as you drank and making plans for the next time you would all see each other. MJ made you promise you would text her if you ever needed anything and Ned gave you a whole plate of his Lola’s ensaymadas, your favorite dish of hers.

Finally, though he was locked up in his house and avoiding humanity, you visited Happy. Peter offered to join you like all the other times, but you assured him it would be best if he stayed home, promising you would return later. Happy was in a similar state of dismay to you when you saw him and while he was able to care for himself and continue with his personal routine, you could tell he was hurting.

You didn't say much when you first entered his apartment, but there was comfort within the silence. You sat with him on his sofa and watched whatever mind numbing program he had turned on to distract his thoughts until you had both worked up an appetite for lunch. It was there, in the middle of a random Burger King in Queens over a plate of cheeseburgers that you both broke down. You told him what you had nearly done, trusting him with the sensitive information as he was almost a second father to you. You took your time telling him the story of how you had nearly died to bring back your father.

Happy cried as you did and when you were finished, he told you how much you meant to him. He traded your story for one from your father after he returned from Afghanistan where he had famously been kidnapped.

"You could tell he was shaken," Happy began. "He told me he wasn't scared to die, but he was scared of losing time with you and leaving you alone. Pepper and I had been so busy trying to get him back, he was worried you had been neglected while he was gone. But when he came home and he saw your room clean, your toys put away, and a fridge full of leftovers from meals you prepared yourself, he was so proud. You inspired him to turn his life around. It was after that he told me that he knew you'd be okay if he was taken from us one day."

You both cried after that.

Long after you had finished your food, Happy drove you to the Parker's new apartment with the promise that he would be okay too, eventually. He also admitted that he was starting to develop quite the liking for your faithful boyfriend after hearing all that he had done for you, though he’d skin you alive if you ever told Peter.

It was that night in Peter's new bedroom that you knew you’d be okay. It still hurt to think of your father and you knew you’d never entirely recover and that the pain would never fully leave you, but there was a certain comfort in it now. You knew Peter felt it too as he snuggled half asleep into your side, his arm slung around your body in a protective manner, but also to keep from falling of the twin bed you shared as he let you sleep on the side with the wall. There were still days when you didn’t want to leave your bed, but there were also days when you felt more elated than ever. You could feel your father in those moments the most, like the shine of his smile took form in the light from the sun. You couldn’t see him nor could you speak with him, but you knew he wasn’t really gone. It was love that kept him around. And it was the love you carried for him that would suspend you for lifetimes, through light and dark until the end of time.

“I hope this grief stays with me because its all the unexpressed love” - Andrew Garfield 💙

#tom holland x you #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker #mental health #suicide awareness #avengers endgame #tony stark #stark!daughter #stark!reader #fem!reader #you are loved

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derpyfangirl · 1 year

Text

Some thoughts and headcanons born from @k-chips amazing art of AI!Clavell and a more cohesive gathering of my little idea dump there. This gonna be a long one, so strap in.

To start, the meat of my idea from that post (bold is me just adding context now)

It was their (Sada/Turo) invention- the time machine- that got the original Clavell killed. Like they brought our Raidon forward, but during their time back on the surface they realize how much of Arven's life they're missing out on, and Clavell is like "You spend time with the kid, I'll keep researching, when Arven is around 16-17 we can swap spots" but shit went sideways when, while down there with Raidon, the second, feral Raidon is summoned and the game follows the tragedy we all discover.

So, in this timeline, Sada/Turo aren't as obsessed with their research. When they bring Koraidon/Miraidon (just for the sake of convenience, we will be using Pokemon Scarlet as a base as that's the version I play going forward, but remember this also applies to Violet) to the surface, Arven is around maybe 8 or 9 and Koraidon is around the same age based on journal entries mentioning how she "expected one gift of life, and now she has two" after mentioning bringing Kor foward in time, is when Sada realizes she's missing out on so much of her son's life, and that creating Paradise is worthless if it means destroying what remains of her little family.

Enter Clavell: he's still somewhat involved with her research in Area Zero and suggests she stay and raise Arven and he'll work on her research with the AI she began developing, and when Arven is old enough they can swap spots and she can return to Area Zero. She agrees, and after the event causing Kor to be sent back to the Crater, Sada and Clavell keep in constant contact with her and Arven occasionally making trips down to visit.

4 years before the game, the 2nd Koraidon (I'll refer to it either as feral Kor or Rex (in reference to its dex entry calling him the Winged King)) is brought to our time. Rex attacks Kor, and Clavell follows the battle to Research Station 4, the AI giving him updates on the battle. He arrives just in time to see Kor backed into a corner with Rex ready to give the killing blow. Clavell shields Kor, having practically raised it, and is killed by the feral Koraidon.

The AI panics, Kor is injured and flees, and suddenly Clavell stops calling and refuses any suggestions to come visit from Sada. He only communicates via email for a year, and when he finally video calls its to say that if he needs anything from her or if there are any developments in the project, he will reach out to her and to stop disturbing him.

Sada of course is upset by this. Angry that he basically told her to fuck off on what is technically both her and Clavell's research (bc she's probably been working on her research while still raising and spending time with her son), and worried as her friend and mentor has never been like this.

Not sure how Clavell would become Academy Director in this timeline unless Team Star's actions at the school take place a bit before Clavell dies, and just before he's killed Clavell had accepted becoming director, but requested time to finish his work and that Sada be his temp replacement (or something, still working the kinks out on this one)

Anyways, a year before the game Arven- who misses Clavell and is both mad at him for upsetting his mom and worried for his safety- enters the Crater and during this, Mabosstiff is attacked by something (in Scarlet, I personally think it was either a Slitherwing or a Roaring Moon, but the later means that they were lucky to even escape alive, as Roaring Moon doesn't seem to be one to leave its prey alive.).

Game occurs, Sada being acting Director while juggling investigating Team Star, her research, raising her son and trying to help Mabosstiff, and looking into what could have happened to Clavell, who suddenly hasn't been responding to anything despite how he should have returned to take over as Director. She's surprised to see Kor, but AIClavell calls and says that Kor must have missed Sada and Arven and gives ownership of Kor to the player. Sada figures it would be good for the lizard to get experience via your Treasure Hunt and requests you take care of it as it's like her second child.

Game proceeds as normal till Area Zero. Sada joins the gang in the Great Crater partially because she knows how dangerous it can be and she can't just allow 4 teens to stroll in there unsupervised (why Clavell would even request a child enter the Crater is something that bothers her), and partially to see what's going on down there. She's basically bouncing up and down seeing her paradise having been created, but recognizes that should the Paradox mons escape, it would destroy Paldea's ecosystems. When you go to talk with AIClavell at the lab, she stays outside at first with Arven to hold off the Paradox mons trying to get in.

When she finally sees AI Clavell and discovers the OG Clavell is dead, she is in a state of shock. It was her invention, her dream that resulted in her best friend and mentor's death, and that this entire time she hadn't even been communicating with him, but the AI she created to help Clavell.

AI Clavell needs someone to stop the machine as he knows his human self would want the same, but the Paradise Protection Protocol kicks in, much to Sada- who had it as a failsafe should the time machine detect that a Pokémon was attacking it, not if someone was simply powering it down- and AI Clavell- who didn't even know it existed- horror.

I might add more to this, but yeah. TLDR, Clavell stays in Area Zero so Sada can raise Arven, Clavell is killed protecting Kor, Sada is Director instead, AI Clavell battles you.

#pokemon sv #pokemon clavell #director clavell #pokemon scarlet/violet #pokemon sada #pokemon scarlet #professor sada #professor turo #arven pokemon #ai!clavell au #my headcanons #long post #k-chips' art is amazing go check it out #this au has major angst potential #and i LIVE for that shit #also somewhat gives Arven a happier ending as his parents aren't shitty #give my boy some happiness dammit #sada and turo are fun to explore #this is from Scarlet's perspective but can also apply to turo

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thislilstangirl · 2 years

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shuri and the rejection of queenhood

the other day on twitter, i remarked how shuri’s rejection of queenhood fascinated me. shuri is offered queenhood thrice. and she rejects it thrice. but she deals with two different types of queenhood which is the most interesting part. let me explain.

mythic queenhood: “you said you wanted to burn the world. then let's burn it together.”

let’s start with mythic queenhood. i view a lot of elements of wakanda forever through a mythic lens. it’s something that comes naturally when a story is so textually rich and layered. and it invites us to not take things at face value and play with the extremes myths often do.

when isolated from the rest of the movie, the scene between shuri and namor in talokan feels like something from a fairytale. a chapter from an epic where the princess gets taken to an underwater kingdom, gets courted (politically/romantically/whatever your interpretation) by the ruler of this kingdom, and they are able to see themselves in each other. namor gifts shuri a family heirloom (an heirloom which symbolised a promise that he would be royalty and rule), and they watch the sun shine on the beauty of talokan.

there’s just such a different vibe to these moments between them on talocan. hence when namor offers allyship, a union between two kingdoms, and specifically proposes to her that they “burn it [the world] together” i can’t help but see this as a mythic proposal to become queen who, by his side, will wage war on the surface world.

shuri refuses this strongly. despite her anger and grief, she understands what this union could bring: a world in ruins. she rejects alliance, the mythic queenhood, and most importantly, acts nobly as the protector she will become at the end of the movie.

literal queenhood: “you are queen now.”

the rejection of mythic queenhood and the dead of two innocents, is met with an inevitable retaliation: there’s rhyme in the tragedy: the death of a servant/handmaiden, ultimately leading to the death of a queen.

namor, the ‘peter pan’ god king he is, was told no and sought out a yes. once his mythic proposal was rejected, he decided to force the title on her. shuri was unable to outrun a fate that namor, a ‘god’, bestowed upon her, despite her steadfast rejection of it. you don’t just reject a ‘god’. she messed with myth and myth swung back hard. there’s a concurrent mythical storyline happening here, which i won’t completely explore here, but it’s exciting to think about.

anyway, this pushback by fate leans nicely into what happens in this part of the film. which can only be summarised as shuri’s illusion of control being shattered. this can refer to her belief that she is her grief when really it’s eating her alive. it can refer to shuri ‘containing’ her anger at the world. it can refer to her need to be purely pragmatic and logical, when her world her life is actually steeped in spiritualism. all is broken.

a vengeful protector: “i am the black panther, and i am here for retribution!”

the rejection of her this literal queenhood starts once shuri becomes the black panther. not to say the two titles can’t coincide, but with a furious, vengeful shuri, one falls by the wayside. seeing killmonger in the ancestral plane and not her mother, solidified this. to me, the mantle of queen wasn’t completely passed down. instead we have this terrifying and beautiful hybrid of duty and vengeance.

when namor greets shuri as “princess”, she replies back “NO. “i am the black panther, and i am here for retribution!”. despite literally being queen, in her words (or lack of words) and her actions this is a rejection of that part of her.

she is the protector of wakanda, perhaps a deadly goddess in the heat of her battle with namor. her role as black panther becomes a vessel for all her pain and anguish. and more importantly the future of wakanda is second to her revenge. eternal war was about to be triggered until she is pulled back from the brink. who helps her? the queen mother.

this moment is not queen to queen, because shuri was not acting like a queen or even completely believes that she is one. it’s queen to princess. it’s mother to daughter. And it’s only after queen ramonda is able to pass on those words that shuri couldn’t receive in the ancestral plane, does the mantle truly get passed in that moment. shuri is now the queen.

and isn’t it funny, that after shuri accepts literal queenhood, she also accepts a mythical queenhood, in the form of an alliance with namor. of course, at the moment, this is a queenhood rooted in the love of her kingdom, and the empathy and understanding of namor’s kingdom. and its forged not in fire, but in water as their alliance is communicated to their soldiers over the atlantic ocean.

the final rejection

there isn’t too much to say. skipping straight to the end of the movie, shuri formally rejects literal queenhood clearing the way for m’baku to be king. and it’s…peaceful. she has control over her own narrative, finally because she has control over her emotions. but this could only come from her being born again through the literal flames of her fury. there’s a lot of death and rebirth in this movie. the mythical queenhood still stands. and she has the bracelet, and the heart shaped herb that came from that bracelet, to prove it.

but for now, she has decided on being princess shuri, the black panther, protector of wakanda. a role that is steeped in tradition, but gives allows her a way to channel her technological prowess and her tremendous love for her kingdom.

so what happens next? that’s a whole different meta, but let’s just say i don’t see a forth rejection on the cards. if her arc in this movie was partly about rejection- rejecting spiritualism and her grief until it couldn’t be neglected no more, i would like to see acceptance play a big part in her next arc. but again, that’s a different meta.

#i hope this makes sense #mcu shuri #meta #wakanda forever #namuri meta next?#wakanda forever spoilers #marvel #namuri #black panther #shuri #namor x shuri #shuri x namor #nashuri

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havendance · 1 year

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A collection of Helena Bertinelli/Huntress panels that are important to me:

(Detective Comics #653)

Batman: That's not the way I work. I'm not a killer. Huntress: You sanctimonious... You're looking for fair play in Gotham? I got you all wrong, Batman. I thought we became what we are for the same reasons; because the streets took away everything we loved.

Detective Comics 652-653 were my first introduction to Helena's character and this was the panel that really stuck out to me about her and who she was. This is what I kept coming back and thinking about. The contrast between them. They way that they're almost similar. Just "I thought we were the same". That's the good stuff right there.

(Huntress (1989) #2)

Huntress: I'm not strong. On TV... those overgrown wrestlers wear show-off flashy costumes... symbols of how strong they are. But it's not strong people who need costumes... It's the weak ones. Weak people who have to hide behind spooky capes and masks... make themselves seem more fearsome... so no one will see them for the harmless creatures they are... harmless as a frightened little girl who's lost her parents.

One of the things that really compelled about Huntress '89 (and to an extent Huntress '94, though that one just wasn't as good) was the dichotomy between the Huntress and the scared little girl that Helena still felt like underneath it. The contrast between the front she puts up, the way she puts on the mask and lives in it, and just how part of her is still caught up in the tragedy that birthed the Huntress in the first place.

(Showcase '93 #10)

Helena (internal narration): Maybe's not the word for it. Monday morning: David Stone will never have a chance to turn savage, never know a child of his own...but I can't bring myself to think it's better this way. Survival is always better.

Helena throughout the entire two part story that this concludes has been reflecting on the cycle of violence. It's really fascinating to see the way that her cynicism interacts with the fact that she really does want to help this student of hers who's been abused by his father. And the way she reflects on it you can see also thinking about herself and the Huntress as a product of violence and you get this impression of self-loathing as well. It's all just a really interesting story and I definitely recommend checking it out if you get a chance.

(Nightwing #29)

Huntress: How can you do what you do? Nightwing: Meaning? H: Look at this town. How can you play the white knight? How long can you stick to your “code”? N: As long as it takes. H: And if you fail? And you will fail. N: Then I fail, Helena. N: But I won’t let them win by becoming one of them. H: You have to play by their rules to defeat the. N: It’s not broken. H: What? N: Your ankle.

I've talked about this page before in multiple contexts, but like, I just really like it. It's an interesting look at what separates Helena from the bats. Her cynicism of you have to play the game to beat them. And also the last exchange "it's not broken... you're ankle", I just really like it. It works for me.

(JLA #32)

Kid: Do you have super strength? Huntress: No K: Are you invulnerable? H: I'm afraid not. K: Then how are you going to save him? What are you gonna do? H: I'm going to do everything I'm capable of doing!

I think this one speaks for it's self. I just boils down what I find compelling about non-powered heroes.

(Huntress: Cry for Blood #6)

Question: There's still time. Helena: Blood cries for blood, Vic. H: Santo killed his sister. Q: Dammit, where does it end? Q: When is it enough?

I'm going to be totally honest, this one's here because it appeals to me personally. I am obsessed with the motif of "blood cries for blood" (and also the Santo killed his own sister thing, because I'm always this close to catching kindly ones brainrot). Anyway, vengeance. Very compelling.

#huntress #helena bertinelli #the cooler gotham antihero #laurie-juspeczyk I cleaned up this post for you #here's some good huntress content since it's huntress posting hours tonight #or afternoon i guess #comic panel hoard #carthago delenda est #dc #bats + birds + affiliated

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yume-fanfare · 1 year

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mitsuba's deaths and almost deaths: my ranking!

he has died 3 times in canon, and has had some other close calls in both canon and aus, so it's ranking time! this will of course contain several spoilers under the cut!

CANON DEATHS

number 3: his severance death

this one has a LOT of potential! it had been a while since his last death! he broke into pieces right in front of kou, and just as he was having the most peaceful cutest sleep! was vanishing physically painful? who was more emotionally hurt by it, kou or mitsuba? how did it feel Falling Apart into pieces later? i need to know! but unfortunately we haven't yet gotten an actual severance chapter from their pov, only vague flashbacks. we don't even quite know what natsuhiko told kou and it's haunting me. can we go back to the kou becoming a supernatural plotline please. but anyways yeah this is why it is the worst (in terms of thematic importance and story focus) death to me. need those extra details

number 2: his first death

car accident. when he was buying potatoes. on his mom's birthday. when curry doesn't even actually need potatoes. need i say more. there's even the extra irony in the fact that kou's earring, which he so hates, says "traffic safety" in it. it's simply so perfect. it aligns so well. it's an everyday tragedy, yet it somehow is the cause behind the plot of the entire manga. has led to some of the most heartbreaking official art. like the one where baby kou is holdin g an empty uniform whose owner has vanished into a pile of flower petals. fucked up.

number 1: the death of m1tsuba

PERFECT. SHOWSTOPPING. HE DIED IN KOU'S ARMS!!!

the scene that actually got me Invested in this manga. ive watched it around three hundred times, in the anime, the manga and the musical and it can still bring me to tears. while death number 2 hangs heavier, this one ranks higher for me because it is. a cataclysm. this event seriously changed the trajectory of kou's life forever. HAS THE "this... this isn't you, mitsuba! the mitsuba i know i-is... sassy. girly. sarcastic. selfish. and... and his voice was annoying. obsessed with cameras. went emo sometimes and was only fake-nice. and... and he was my friend!" LINE AND and it cut to the shot of their first meeting as first years but with mitsuba getting up and leaving and! man. it is so good. i wouldn't change a single detail. something important to me... maybe

ALMOST DEATHS (CANON AND NON-CANON)

only the ones i remember off the top of my head and wanted to talk about sowwy

if you have not read any of the aus i mentioned you Definitely should check them out they are SO good!

honorary mention: the times he's (almost) been turned into a mokke

didn't know whether to count this one but i really like it it's so funny. his pyon pyon pink bunny era. the most mokke-coded character. i did cringe a little in that christmas event where his gift was being turned into a mokke because come on. horrors for him again? on christmas? but no one had that great of a time then so ill forgive it

number 5: his transformation into a familiar in hanako-kun of magic

he didn't die at all in this one, yes, but it's supposed to parallel his becoming a supernatural, so it's going into the ranking. it was kind of lame though 😭 ik it was public voting yadda yadda but like it only happened like that to fill aidairo's monthly quota of bad things happening to mitsuba. the alicorn concept and clothes were cute though ill give them that. can we get a colored front-facing ref

number 4: his almost-death in chapter 98

it sucked so bad. like ok. when i was reading the chapter i was not surprised by it at all. this is a horror manga so something bad Had to happen, and like hell he was actually going to die Again in that moment. and it was executed in a really cool way! kou's single page that only had a "SQUELCH" speech bubble was bone-chilling and there is almost a eurydice flavor to the whole fleeing and turning around to see the ghost of the person you love and finding that you're holding Only their hand.

but as much as ive joked about this manga inventing a new level of bury your gays, there Are some unfortunate implications to two boys having a cute date and then immediately almost-killing one off them. (this could indeed also be applied to mitsuba's death in a way too). im usually not too harsh w this stuff because even if the implications are there i have faith that this wasn't quite meant like that.

but ultimately this scene was there only for shock value to end the chapter in a cliffhanger so! not ranked very high

number 4: his afterlife as a mummy in the ghost hotel café

ok we barely have anything on his death here so it's not too high but just those four lines are so funny. guy who owns the land but is too scared to act out on it. is secretly planning on taking over the hotel. has cried when kou bit him. is his pastissier apprentice. i hope he's better at baking than mit2uba is at cooking. the idea of them having a silly afterlife baking together and chasing after each other is so funny i love them

number 3: his youkai transformation in the bakeneko ryokan hanakotei

his most recent almost-death! we don't know much about it yet but it is such a cute concept!!! he turned into a kitty youkai and now works at the hot springs! it's just like spirited away!!!! super invested on this one i want more so badly

number 2: the time he got poisoned in hanako of the opera

chef's kiss! this one is Almost perfect, if only because the number 1 spot is my favorite scene in any manga ever. mitsuba drinks poisoned peach juice and thanks to the subsequent investigation and hanako's intervention, he is able to escape from the oppressive opera environment with kou! but here is the catch: every night, natsuhiko left a glass of juice for him, and mitsuba never once drank it. what changed this time? why did he drink it? well, the one who left the juice and poisoned him was not natsuhiko, but kou. did mitsuba know? kou. poisoned mitsuba, who in this au is his Childhood Friend. to see if, by taking him out of the opera, he'd be able to help him regain his love of music. and mitsuba willingly drank the poison. probably knowingly. he trusted kou not to kill him. and then they elope. there are sooo many levels to this one i love it

number 1: chapter 48, picture perfect arc

EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR THE BEST ROMANCE EVER!!! SHOWSTOPPING!!!! BREATHTAKING!!! NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM!!!

it's so perfect. the way the the page where kou jumps off the building is angled and composed so that the panels themselves are falling with them too. kou's promise. the way he literally jumped off a building just to have a chance to understand mitsuba better. and then they'd work their way back to life together! it gets me every time. no one does it like them. i love them so much. <333

and that is all, thanks for sticking by!

but how about YOU guys? what is Your favorite mitsuba death? how would you change my ranking? im always up for talking about mitsuba!

#as an extra note even if hanako of magic isnt very high it Is my favorite au so check it out!!!#do i even tag this #it did take me way too long but i wrote it because i felt like it #jshk #mitsuba sousuke #mitsukou #tbhk #ok thats enough #anyways yeah my silly #be sure to vote for him in the came back wrong tournament and the dead character tournament btw #jbksh #mar's midnight rambles

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swamp-spirit · 2 years

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It’s... more D.Gray-Man meta.

Anyway, something I really love about D.Gray-Man, which I think confuses a lot of people, is that it’s a tragedy hiding in a shounen. A lot of the things which are framed as Positive Shounen Growth are actually the setup for tragedy.

I think this turns off readers on two counts:

A) Though I don’t think Hoshino’s perfect, I have a lot of trust in her ability to know when a plot beat is tragic, even if it isn’t portrayed that way at the time. There’s a lot of really dissonant plot beats where the show is playing it like a victory, but, if you think about it for five seconds, are Pretty Messed Up. I think, without that trust, it can easily feel like “wait, why is this being played like a win??? Isn’t this bad???“

B) On the flipside, if you trust shounen convention, you’re going to end up feel like your ‘wins‘ keep getting ‘stolen‘. The characters keep doing things that make them powerful and selfless! Why does that keep making things bad.

Because, at the core, it’s a series about how the traits that make a good shounen hero ARE tragic. Shounen values self-sacrifice, power, and perseverance. D.Gray-Man understands that these are BAD things for a teenage child soldier. In the face of the apocalypse, having those traits may keep the characters alive, but characters becoming more ‘powerful‘ and ‘motivated‘ in D.Gray-Man often means they are actively turning away from the stable, healthy option. Often, the healthy option is not survivable, but even when the unhealthy option is heroic, it’s still tragic.

Let’s talk specific moments

Allen Makes a More Moral Choice Than Kanda Because He Doesn’t Love Anyone

I think this scene reads very differently when you know who they’re both referring to. Kanda is living to see his wife again. For him, it’s okay to make the pragmatic choice because there’s something more important to him.

Allen makes one of the moral arguments D.Gray-Man makes a lot: that a win brought about by sacrificing innocents isn’t a win at all, but he also brings up something else.

Allen says he’s lost what was dear to him. Allen loves the whole world, but, at this point in the series, he’s the opposite of Lenalee. For Lenalee, her loved ones are her whole world. Allen doesn’t have any meaningful connections yet. The world was cruel, and then Mana wasn’t, and then Mana died. He obviously somewhat cares about Cross, but not in a ‘live for his sake‘ way.

And, in the framing of this scene, I think there’s somewhat of an argument that Allen can be selfless BECAUSE he’s emotionally isolated. He doesn’t have anyone to protect or come home to No Matter What, so it’s easy for him to put his life on the line in a way it isn’t for Kanda.

And Genuine Emotional Bonds Start to Hold him Back

As the series goes on, Allen gets to start making genuine bonds with his friends, and this canonically gives a hit to his power. He’s focused on fighting to help his friends, and, when his power fails, he tries to find his motivation in The Power of Friendship.

And his powerup comes, not from that friendship, but when he realizes wanting to help his friends has distracted him from his purpose.

It’s very common in Shounen for a power-up to come from an emotional realization. I mean, that’s how good storytelling works. Hell, there are even examples where a power-up comes from an unhealthy realization, but that’s usually Anger Awakening Dark Power.

Combat wise, getting Crown-Clown is good! He can save Fo! He can save his friends! This is what we wanted! It’s not the forbidden dark mode that should never be activated, it’s the core heroic power.

But the realization he needs to come to in order to harness that power is to dehumanize himself and acknowledge his role as a weapon.

And speaking of

that

...

Allen Didn’t Take His Out Because He is Held Together With Twine

Let’s rewind a little.

I think China is the first time we see how deeply broken Allen is. His determination to save lost souls and keep the promise he made to Mana is his guiding light. As long as that’s working, he seems like a fairly functional, if dangerously selfless, person, but, every time that’s threatened, he completely falls apart. He doesn’t look at other options, he just collapses until he can get back to the status quo. Inside, he’s a step away from that catatonic child. We see him hit this same wall when Mana’s love for him is called into question and he can’t function until he decides he loves Mana anyway and it won’t change anything.

It’s important to remember here that Bak and Allen have very different info coming into this. Bak knows Allen’s weapon is still there, so he’s giving Allen an out before Allen can pressure himself. If his priority was making sure Allen could return to duty, he’d tell him, but Bak knows Allen is a parasite type. Bak is motivated not to repeat the mistakes of the past. He knows Allen taking back his weapon is dooming him to die as a child soldier. (And that Allen’s resentment for that truth could break very bad. Giant glowing torso bad.)

If Allen was motivated purely by helpful good goodness, he’d take the path offered. As far as Allen knows, he can’t be an exorcist. The path he’s trying to follow doesn’t exist. The way forward is to accept the loss and keep helping with what he does have.

But he isn’t. Bak doesn’t give Allen back his weapon because he respects Allen’s determination, he gives Allen back his weapon because Allen is completely dependent on his identity as an exorcist. From a practical standpoint, this confirms he won’t turn on his weapon and Fall, but, from an ethical standpoint, it also tells Bak he can’t save Allen. He’s pretty much a zookeeper sadly realizing the rare animal can no longer survive in the wild and, even though that would be the better choice for the animal, it’s no longer a possible one.

If the art and framing don’t make it clear enough this tragedy is intentional, later reveals do. Because now we know that Allen’s One Path Forward was always leading him to the most painful possible ending.

But let’s talk about some other tragic shounen wins.

Timothy Had No Good Options

Let’s be clear here: He’s not wrong.

We’ve seen over and over, exorcists don’t have a choice. The parasitic power was forced on him by an abusive father. Now his options are to be hunted by akuma for the rest of his life and watch monsters kill everyone around him or become a child soldier. Either way, his parasitic power kills him young.

The win here is not what the framing says it is, and this is where my trust for Hoshino comes in. I think we’re meant to understand this is Timothy choosing to sacrifice himself. It’s followed up with a comedic scene, and I know the quick mood switches aren’t for everyone, but I think it’s unfair to assume it means Hoshino doesn’t understand the tragedy. There are plenty of atonally cheerful moments in unarguably dark moments.

It might be the best choice Timothy has, just like taking the crystal boots was the best choice Lenalee had, but it’s still a tragic choice. The only win is that they had the agency to make the tragic choice themselves, for their own reasons.

Komui Saving His Sister Also Doomed Her

Finally, let’s talk about Lenalee again.

Personally, I will fight for Lenalee sticking with the Black Order being a fantastic character choice. It’s not her being weak-willed or naive, it comes from her being just as broken as the other exorcists.

Komui’s love for his sister starts as a gag, then becomes genuinely heart-wrenching, and it’s easy to miss that it’s also the core of Lenalee’s greatest character flaw.

Komui joining the black order saved Lenalee. She’d been mentally broken, and that connection gave her a reason to live again, but it also trapped her.

(If you remember what chapter this scene is in, please tell me so I can grab a panel)

Lenalee says once Komui joined, she understood she couldn’t leave. She sees the Black Order as home and family more than anyone else, and that’s her lifeline. She’s not fighting for the world, she’s fighting for the people she loves, especially her brother. His dependency on her may be more melodramatic, but she’s just as unhealthily dependent on him.

The Black Order kidnapped Lenalee and forced her to fight. She saw horrific experiments, and, now in canon, has watched them hurt and use her and her friends, but she’s trapped. Her entire world is tied up in a corrupt paramilitary organization, but leaving it would mean abandoning her whole world.

I think her goodbye scene with Allen makes a lot more sense through that lens. They’re both traumatized kids held together by a single purpose. They care deeply about each other, but neither can make the choice the other might want because their guiding purposes tie them to different forces, and, without that tie, they’d become untethered.

In Conclusion

Characters in D.Gray-Man don’t become more powerful by accepting friendship, they become more powerful by hacking parts of themselves away and binding themselves to tragedy, and then the story smiles and goes ‘look, we won, we did it‘ while it holds a knife behind its back.

#d.gray-man #dgm

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nanabansama · 5 months

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who was talking to nene in chapter 101? The one who asked her what she thought would happen with the play because of the accident. Do we know what they were talking about yet? I thought it was tsukasa because he appears randomly in 102, but looking at the hand I'm not sure.

The hand was also drawn feminine and did not look at all like how AidaIro draws any of the boy's hands. Honestly it looked like nene's hand.

Oooh, this is a fun time to bring this up again! Your comment about the hand looking like Nene's made me think of doppelgangers. Like what happened in the recent After-school Hanako-kun chapter.

Veeery interesting... And as you say, the hand that taps Nene's shoulder is feminine. When compared to Nene's, it's not all that far off, either...

I have no doubt that the apparition here takes on the form of a girl! But even though I just brought this up myself, I have my doubts about them taking Nene's form... there just isn't much to support this idea, y'know? Nene has pretty generic girly hands. And I personally don't think the new After-School is anything more than a bit of fun. I think AidaIro wouldn't want to ruin the surprise of there being a whole other Nene in a little spin-off chapter, do you?

Some kind of Evil Yashiro would be so fun to see though!! So I wouldn't complain. ♡

Out of curiosity, I also decided to poke around the internet for some urban legends told in schools (school mysteries) and I couldn't find anything that quite matched the encounter Nene had. There were mysterious hands with no visible owner, sure, but tales involving those seem to have them coming out of swimming pools or toilets and grabbing people. But maybe I just overlooked one, who knows!

Anyway, I have no idea who they were or what they were talking about. (∀｀*ゞ) Sorry....

They're clearly talking about the play, though! It's just that what they're saying is so vague, it could mean anything. Basically, what this whole interaction is supposed to do is give us and Nene apprehension about the school play. The word "accident" just sends shivers down your spine, doesn't it!? Makes you wonder what accident happened prior, and how it concerns us in the present day...

But how does this apparition know, and when did this other accident occur? It's hard to say, but considering we haven't seen the play put on in 1968 yet, I have my suspicions it happened in that one. Not only was it also a performance of The Wizard of Oz, but our favorite local troublemaker Tsukasa Yugi had a hand in its production.

Curious, right? That Tsukasa helped prepare the play, but is content to just wait here with Amane? This isn't just Tsukasa being attached to Amane either, mind you... Amane didn't help. Amane cut class. When Tsukasa was helping his class prepare, he did not cut class with him. Maybe it doesn't mean anything, and Tsukasa was just having fun doing arts and crafts and what-not, but there's decent reason to believe that Tsukasa could have sabotaged the play somehow.

Remember, Tsukasa during this period in time has already been proven to have destructive tendencies. He wanted to destroy the Big Clock.

It's not completely out of the question!

This all still doesn't answer who the hand is, of course, but perhaps if the accident the hand is talking about is related to the 1968 production, then the hand has some relation to Tsukasa...? A former classmate, perhaps? Or maybe it's just some nobody ghost that lurked around the Closed Auditorium. Hard to say.

Anyway, that was a whole lotta talking to basically say nothing, huh? But I hope this helped get your brain juices flowing! And I really hope this apparition comes back, too. We desperately need more female characters in the cast, especially after the tragedy of Sumire-chan... (RIP...)

#asks #tbhk #jshk

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animatorweirdo · 3 months

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When the Dragons Fly (book 2)

Maedhros and Aelon share a moment and the elf comforts the boy after hearing about his experience as a prisoner. You leave for town to retrieve materials, but through your curiosity, you end up hearing a concerning prophecy about your future.

Chapter 11

Warnings: marriage teasing, mentions of scars, imprisonment, kidnapping, crying, comfort, the fortune teller being a bit afraid of the reader, palm reading, animal bones, mentions of death and tragedy, war, spooky, and some comfort from Maedhros.

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Closing the door behind you and stepping off the porch, you checked the money in your pouch to ensure you had enough for the materials on your list. The sounds of Aelon practicing with Maedhros echoed through the air, the wooden sticks clashing in rhythmic beats. You then turned toward them.

"Hey, Nelyo!" you called out, catching their attention. The two stopped to look at you.

"I need to go to town to run some errands. Can you watch Aelon for a while?" you asked.

"Sure, I've got plenty of time," Maedhros answered.

"Thank you. I'll be as quick as possible. And Aelon, make sure to train hard," you said and began walking away. "Yeah! Yeah!" Aelon called back as the two resumed their practice.

Walking through the village, you then notice Helena running up to you.

“Hey, (Name)! Guess what! I got a new order from our buyer and the news that our jams and pastries sold well. He wants a new batch of them before the first snowfall,” she excitedly shared while walking with you toward the stables.

“That’s great. Do we need any ingredients? I’m leaving for town, so I might as well bring some ingredients,” you questioned.

“I don’t think so, maybe more sugar, but that’s all that comes to mind,” Helena replied.

“Are you leaving Aelon under Mr. Good-looking’s care?” she grinned as she looked back toward your house.

“Yes, since he agreed, and he also has a name, Helena, and it is Nelyo,” you replied, making her giggle.

“Already defending him! Are you certain you’re not even the slightest interested in him? Gaining a partner would be good for you, but an elven partner would be a real catch,” Helena teased, nudging her elbow to your side. You rolled your eyes at her while shaking your head.

“How about we keep things respectful? How about you worry about gaining a partner for yourself? Your mother has been asking when you will get married, hasn’t she?” you questioned, making her groan.

“I’m in no hurry to get married, especially after what happened with Ennard. Besides, you’re older than me. I have to make sure you won’t end up dying alone like an old, crippled woman,” she said. You frowned at her, offended. “I’m not that old! I’m only three years older than you,” you said.

“Yet you’re closer to your thirties than me. The sooner you get married, the better,” Helena continued whining.

You sighed. “You sound just like my mother when she tried to find me a husband, yet somehow you sound more insistent,” you mumbled.

“Well, I have to look out for my best friend, don’t I?” Helena grinned.

“You are more lucky with your mother and father. Most girls and women from my homeland are not just as lucky as you are when it comes to marriage,” you stated as you two arrived at the stables.

“Anyway, I need to get going. How about you get started with our plans on making a new batch? I bring the sugar just in case,” you said as you took out some coins for borrowing a horse.

“Sure. Safe travels,” Helena waved and then left while you grabbed yourself a saddled horse and left the village.

After an hour of practice, Aelon and Maedhros were seated on your porch for a break. Aelon drank water while listening to Maedhros explain attacking tactics against enemies with smaller weapons or bows.

"Now, when the enemy is wielding either a dagger or a bow," Maedhros began, his voice calm yet authoritative, "you'll want to close the distance swiftly while staying mindful of their range."

Aelon nodded attentively, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. "But how do you avoid their strikes?" he asked, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

Maedhros leaned forward, his expression serious. "Timing and footwork are key," he explained, his voice steady with conviction. "You must anticipate their movements, deflect their strikes, and seize the opportunity to counter."

Aelon listened intently, absorbing every word as Maedhros continued to impart his knowledge, taking sips from the water.

“Deflecting an arrow is straight-up impossible, unless you’re fast, so the wisest thing to do is to either have a shield or something that will protect you long enough to reach the archer,” Maedhros explained. Aelon nodded along, then glanced at the elf’s scars.

"Hey, Nelyo. I've been meaning to ask?" Aelon interupted.

“What is it?” Maedhros looked down on him.

"How did you get those scars?" Aelon asked.

"I…” Maedhros hesitated. “It's a complicated story," he said.

"Did you get them from a battle or something?" Aelon asked.

"Not exactly... but they were afflicted by bad people," Maedhros answered. "It's not something someone of your age should know or hear about," he added.

Aelon was quiet for a moment, lost in thought before he looked at the elf with widened eyes. “Were you kidnapped?!” he questioned.

Maedhros glanced at Aelon with surprised eyes. "Something like that..." he answered. "They hurt me badly, but I escaped, losing my hand along the way," he said, looking at his missing right hand. Memories rushed through his mind.

Aelon watched as Maedhros stared at his missing hand. “Well, I’m glad you got away,” he smiled.

"Me too..." Maedhros glanced toward the blonde boy. "What about you?"

"Hmm?" Aelon looked at him curiously.

"How did you get the scar on your cheek?" Maedhros pointed at his own as Aelon finally understood the question.

"Oh! I got kidnapped too," Aelon answered.

Maedhros stared at Aelon with surprise as the little boy focused his gaze on the grass. "Me and my friend were kidnapped by a really bad man, a vampire. We managed to escape, but..." Aelon hugged his knees, the memories of that night flooding back. "I sometimes dream of being back in that cell, surrounded by orcs, and waiting for that vampire to drink all my blood," he explained.

Maedhros looked sympathetically and then gently placed his hand on Aelon's shoulder, feeling the boy shiver.

"Have you told (Name) about this?" Maedhros asked.

"Yeah, but the dreams won't just go away. I don't know what's wrong with me," Aelon said as he began to tear up. "There's nothing wrong with you. It's normal to see nightmares and still feel scared by them," Maedhros said as Aelon began to shed tears.

Maedhros said nothing, but softly pulled Aelon to his side, allowing the child to cling to him and cry.

"It’s okay. You're safe," Maedhros said, rubbing Aelon's shoulders as the boy wept. He felt his heart ache for the child, but offered his comfort, remembering his own lack of solace upon being rescued from his imprisonment in Angband.

You walked out of the shop, carrying the purchased materials and groceries. The streets of the town were as bustling as ever, and you were ready to head back home, having acquired all the items from your list and the additional sugar for your business.

You pack the items on the saddle, then your eyes fall upon a woman standing in front of a peculiar-looking tent.

"Come around. Come around. Have your future told," the lady preached, trying to get attention from the passing people, who briefly ignored her.

From the things she said and the way she dressed, you could tell she was a fortune teller of sorts. You have seen her kind of people many times in Westeros, and most of those people were nothing but low-life scammers. You do not think you have ever met a legitimate fortune teller, who did not demand ridiculous prizes after each reading. There was, of course, Alessandra, but she was mostly focused on witchcraft and draining all the wealth and power she could extract from the men who fell prey to her seductive charm.

You also felt oddly intrigued by the woman, like there was something different about her than all the other preaching fortune tellers you have seen. Her prize board was also strange. They were no cheaper, but they were not so expensive than what most fortune tellers would demand after their reading.

You shouldn't have considered giving her a chance and seeing if she was a legitimate fortune teller and not just another scammer, but your curiosity was being tugged toward her, so you decided to give in and approach her. You did have enough money for the cheapest reading, which involved reading through animal bones.

“Come around! Come get your future told!” the woman continued calling until you finally reached her and gained her attention.

"Hello," you greeted.

"Oh! Hello, my dear! Would you like to hear about your future?" the woman questioned enthusiastically with a wide grin.

“I got curious, so yes, but I only want the bone reading. I don't have any more money than that” you explained.

“Oh, that is fine. Come inside,” the woman smiled and motioned you to follow her inside the tent.

After walking inside, you were quickly taken off guard by the overpowering smell of incense in the air. It was so strong and thick that you coughed and had to brush the smoke away from getting into your nose and eyes. Looking around the inside of the tent, which was illuminated by several candles, you noticed oddities such as crystals, mirrors, pillows, and strange trinkets hanging from the ceiling, decorating the space. It created an atmospheric and promising ambiance.

The woman led you to a table that was covered with purple fabric. “Sit down. Sit down, and excuse the strong incense. I made a mistake picking the strongest one, and I don’t really have the option to change it to something else,” she grinned as you took your seat on the table while the woman sat on the other side.

“Now, so we can get started. We need to start with a palm reading,” the woman grinned.

You looked at her skeptically.

“Oh, don’t worry. The palm reading is free of charge. To understand the glimpses of the future, we first need to understand the past,” she said as you then handed your hand toward her.

The woman grabbed your hand and began tracing the lines on your palm with her fingers. It was a gentle touch, and she kept her eyes closed while nodding and murmuring something under her breath.

“Yes… soft yet not invisible callouses. It seems you enjoy heavy work, but your palm is quite rough, and these old cuts… I really recommend you start using creams to keep your hands moisturized, my dear. Oh, I see, this hand has held many weapons,” she exclaimed, her tone surprised. You stared at her with growing interest.

“I see, you had left home because of a danger to a loved one, am I right?” she questioned.

“Correct…” you nodded.

“And what else… Oh!” the woman suddenly snapped her eyes open and fixed her gaze on you. You tensed up as she held a frightened expression on her face. Your mind started to spiral, fearing if she was truly seeing into your past.

“You have quite a past, my dear,” she released your hand. You stared at her anxiously, waiting for what she was going to say next.

"But, you have certainly changed! You've laid down the cold mask and the whispering steel. I must say, you have truly set yourself on the path to redemption. Not many are willing or able to do that," she smiled, her hands clasped together, though you could still sense her tension and anxiety around you.

“How… How about we get started with the bone reading, my fair lady? Sometimes there are things that are better left untold,” the woman said as she picked up a box beneath the table.

“Indeed…” you uttered as she then opened the box and allowed small bones of animals to fall to the table.

The woman then looked at you with a smile. “Pick three bones, and you shall present three questions,” she said, clapping her hands together. "Three questions and I shall reveal the future," she said as you then set your eyes on the bones in front of you.

Looking through the table, you picked up a small fang, a small frail bone, and a bone that seemed to be part of a ribcage of sorts. You set the three bones in front of you in a line then waited for the woman to do her reading.

The woman suddenly began whispering something under her breath, she cleaned the rest of the bones away and then picked up a candle beside the three bones you picked. She then dropped down another bone attached to a string on her finger and began tangling it above the bones.

"Now tell me. What is your first question?" the woman asked.

"I have a little brother..." you started. "I wish to know if he will live a good life?" you asked.

"You have picked a fang of a wolf and a bone from the wing of a bird. Your brother's journey will be long and arduous, but he shall find peace and joy even in the darkest times. Love will find him at the age of eighteen, and his children shall bear crowns of silver," she explained while still tangling the bone.

The thought of Aelon having children made you smile. "That is good to hear," you said.

"What is your second question?" The woman asked.

You thought for a moment but nothing sensible came to mind.

"Will my and my friends' next sale be a good one?" you asked.

"Yes and you shall collect enough cold to feed well and buy the leather for the saddle you need," she said, making you confused and surprised, since you already bought most material for the saddle, including the leather.

"What is your last question?" The woman asked.

You thought about it. "Will our lives be a peaceful one?" you asked.

The woman suddenly gasped, and the movement of the bone became more erratic. You tensed as the candle on the table began flickering, casting dancing shadows around the tent. Even the other candles began to act strangely, and it felt as if all the incense had suddenly left the tent, making it easier to breathe but adding an eerie atmosphere to the air.

"No… No!" the woman shook her head.

"Your peaceful life will come to an end when the birds flee forever south and the blue banner of the king is set ablaze," she began. "Tears unnumbered will be shed, and darkness will pursue you wherever you and your family may go, preying upon your wings and fire," she exclaimed.

"The whispering steel shall take its place upon your hand once more, and the war over the lordship of the sky and flame shall begin,” she said ominously.

Shivers ran down your spine as you stared at the woman. The flickering of the candles stopped and the woman seemed to have come back to her senses.

You two stared at each other for a moment, and the expression on the woman’s face turned frightened and frantic.

"Oh dear..." she uttered. "I'm sorry. You know what, this session shall be free of charge. I need to start packing. You should go home" She suddenly stood up and began cleaning her tent.

“Is everything alright?” you asked as you stood up.

“All is fine! All is fine! I just need to start leaving early, to the southern lands or perhaps return to my homeland in the east,” she mumbled, then turned toward you. “Things are going to undergo a drastic change in three years. I recommend that you spend as much time as possible with your family. You never know when you'll be blessed with such an opportunity again,” she said, gently pushing you out of her tent.

“I wish you the best of luck. Stay vigilant of the signs if you notice things are not going well, though I’m certain you’re more than capable. Your father did not raise you to be ignorant,” she said as you walked out.

“How did you…?” you started.

“No time to waste! Goodbye!” the woman closed the veils to her tent and you were left outside.

You stood there dumbfounded for a moment, trying to progress what just happened. Your skin felt scattered with goosebumps as you could tell that woman was not pretending or putting on a show. She was genuinely frightened by something.

Unable to determine if the woman was being a lunatic or not, you decided to let it be and returned to your village, feeling that you had seen enough for the day.

Upon returning to the village, you found Maedhros and Aelon engrossed in a deep conversation. They did not notice your arrival till your horse released a short whinny, catching their attention.

“It seems you two are having fun,” you said as you swung your leg over the saddle. Maedhros stood up and walked over to you.

“Yeah, it's been pretty fun. I learned quite a lot today. How about you?” Aelon asked as Maedhros offered his hand to you before you jumped off the saddle.

You accepted and he helped you down without any issues.

“Well, I must say that I had a peculiar experience with a fortune teller, and I’m not entirely sure if the woman was pretending or not, “ you explained as Maedhros held on to the horse for you.

“Hopefully, you did not fall victim. Those people are quite crafty when it comes to scamming people off their money, “ Maedhros stated.

“I don’t think so. The woman looked at me like I was Morgoth after the reading and then pushed me out without taking the money,” you replied.

“Well, that is strange, but don’t take them too seriously,” Maedhros said as you began taking the bags off the saddle.

Eweniel suddenly appeared. “Hey, Ae! Rodrick’s mom baked treats and wanted him to share them with us. Do you want to come?” she asked.

“Oh— Can I go?” Aelon looked at you. “Go for it, but be back before nightfall,” you said as he then left with Eweniel.

You smiled, and Maedhros helped you pick the things. Maedhros looked at you.

“(Name). Can I ask you something?” he started.

“Sure. What is it?” you looked back at him.

"When you were gone, Aelon and I had a discussion, and I heard that he was kidnapped by a vampire some months ago,” he started.

"Yes. It happened a few months ago, a month before we met you," you answered.

"The vampire had cloaked itself and then lured Aelon and one of his friends into the woods with enchanted music, and took them away. We found out it was a vampire because a friend of ours tried to stop the creature from taking Aelon and nearly died for it,” you explained.

“I was away at the time, and when I heard the news, I tried to track the creature down, but it was careful not to leave any traces,” you sighed and leaned against your horse.

“I didn’t know what to do. There was this feeling of numbness and helplessness when I scoured through the woods and yet still couldn’t find anything,” you stated, recalling the moment when you heard the news.

"Then one day, Aelon returned with Samuel, telling us they had escaped. I was relieved, but I still sometimes feel that sense of helplessness and anxiety that if I look away, he might be taken again,” you confessed. "Especially all the things Aelon told me about what happened. He still has bad dreams about it, and I am not certain how to help him,"

Maedhros looked at you softly. "Talk to him about it... comfort him when you can and try to make him open up, feel safe again," he explained. "His mind needs reassurance that he is safe and he is away from harm," he added.

"Is that what I need to do?" you asked.

"It will help him. That's what he needs," Maedhros answered.

"He is a good kid. He will learn to overcome his fears on his own eventually, but once he needs comfort the most. Don't hesitate," he said.

"Well... he overcame his fear of turtles and dared to chase after an orc with it," you said with a smile. "He is indeed brave," Maedhros returned the smile.

He then looked at you. "And your fear for his safety is not unjust," he said.

“He will eventually have to leave the nest, but with all the things and skills we teach him, he will be able to take care of himself,” he explained.

You sighed, feeling somewhat comforted by the words. “You’re right. Once he has learned everything, I can put my mind at ease,” you said. “I once thought I was a terrible older sister since I left home to stay out of trouble, yet trouble still finds us, sometimes putting Aelon in danger,” you stated.

“We live in difficult times, so troubles are inevitable. It’s just the way of living. It does not make you a terrible sister,” Maedhros said. “If you were terrible, then there would be a strain in the relationship, but all I see is a little boy who admires and wants to prove himself capable like you, and you, who cares for his safety,” he said. Something warm bloomed within your chest after hearing his words.

“I do hope he will grow up to be capable, but I hope he will become his own person,” you said.

“Thank you, Nelyo. Your words really put those thoughts away,” you said. “You welcome. raising a sibling is not an easy task, but you have done well,” he said, helping you carry the things to your house. “Well, I’m grateful I came to this village because here I received all the help I needed,” you said as the sun set in the distance.

Taglist: @natchayaphorn @kimnamnu@thatrandomidiot182 @springfountain

#silmarillion x reader #silmarillion #tolkien #silm fic #middle earth x reader #when the dragons fly #hotd x reader #hotd #middle earth #silmarillion imagines #various x reader #targaryen reader #silmarillion x targaryen reader #maedhros x reader

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