#anyway. i love gender nonconformity and i WILL talk about it

[veggiesforpresident]

i think a useful example of like, “both things can be true at once” is like... im a cis woman and ive always been drawn to wearing mens clothes, i would borrow my dads ties and shirts when i was a teenager, but i never actually considered buying something for myself until college, when i heard another cis woman talk about shopping in the men’s section for just like, tshirts and boxers and shit. that was my “oh shit you can do that?” moment.

meanwhile, a trans friend of mine cites wearing their dads shirts and wanting to be like their dad for some ~~inexplicable reason~~ when they were a kid as like, a real Egg Moment that they realized looking back on.

idk where im going with this exactly. overlap in experiences is neat and its interesting how we all come to different conclusions about it.

[kittyg67789]

re: blues clues post - magenta is a boy and blue is a girl!

There’s so many places you could go with this thank you for the knowledge

[smooth-goat]

its literally so sad because i know a guy who says he likes goth girls only for me to find out he likes girls with black hair who wear black lipstick and black shirts. none of the crazy ass goth stuff that actual ppl from the subculture are into

(wrt this post) no that's so shitty. People taking only the most conventionally appealing aspects of a subculture created to highlight things that we as a society specifically *don't* find appealing. If any goths want to chime in, I'd love to hear your perspectives on this. I'm not goth nor do I have any connections to goth culture so there's very little I can say

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey uhm you dont know me or maybe you do. but im the kid that left those stupid tags on one of your posts.

your response was "should we tell everyone. should we throw a party. should we invite Bella Hadid." (just to refresh your memory)

When I added those tags, I thought it was fine. It was more or less banter with a moot in the tags. I didn't think you'd see it or even care. I was tone deaf. and im sorry.

and like, it has been months since i added that in the tags and then you screenshotted and added to the post but i think about it a lot. and i think about what the people in the notes said a lot.

i never meant to be insensitive or anything, i was trying to be light hearted. idk i just needed to get this off my chest.

oh hey what's up lmao

I want to be so clear that I was never angry at you as an individual, it's mostly just like... it's very frustrating as a woman who's moderately gender nonconforming to talk about my frustrations with being expected to shave, wear makeup, etc, and so often be met with people derailing the conversation to talk about how much they love those things.

I want to be so clear: I have absolutely no beef with any woman or any other person doing whatever the fuck they want with their body. shave whatever you want, put on as much or as little makeup as you like, wear whatever clothing makes you happy. I don't feel any animosity towards people who enjoy things that I don't, it's just endlessly tiring to ALWAYS have someone feeling the need to chime in to talk about how much the love stuff that feels totally disconnected from my life specifically when I am trying to talk about that disconnect. and it is genuinely kind of inevitable, I don't think I've ever been able to express that feeling without someone chiming in to talk about how they can't relate at all and feel completely the opposite. which is a fine way to feel, but maybe read the room!

anyway. I know it was a cunty response and I am sorry if that hurt to see. I genuinely do not have any grudge with you, and if anyone has been shitty to you about those tags I am deeply sorry, because that's never something I would have wanted. I appreciate hearing from you 💜

[dykeulous]

Wait hold on how are you transmasc AND a radfem how are you fighting for your own abolition what ????

wow… wow anon. you must be so enlightened on this topic, so enlightened you forgot media literacy exists? 😳

how does someone go through my blog and come to the conclusion that i want to… that i want to abolish trans people?? how in the world can someone read about gender abolition and come to the conclusion that the gender abolitionist’s approach to gender abolition is…… eradicating trans people?? if you truly are set on believing i “want to get rid of trans people”, you have to understand that then, in your eyes, i would have to want to get rid of a lot of non-trans people, as well, as many non-trans people have gender identities, too. anon, if your view of gender abolition is so distorted to the point of it basically being a synonym for trans genocide, then i think you might be the one with the problem here…

gender abolitionists want to abolish gender as a power system. we certainly do not want to abolish people, but the system. gender identity as a concept will also inevitably fall, and that will be the eventual result of gender abolition– this does not mean murdering, or, in other words, abolishing trans people, or anyone with a gender identity, for that matter. if you have spent a lot of time in echo-chambers, like anon probably has, i can see how you might think that our goal is abolishing anyone as an individual. anyone who has at least once talked to an actual gender abolitionist, or at least researched about it– knows that this is not what we want. anyone who has, at one point in their life, done something as simple as a google search 🔍 on gender abolition, will be able to tell you that gender abolition is about freeing everyone, including trans people, and that gender abolition is actually the only true path to actual liberation of trans individuals. anyone who has a normal and sane view of gender abolition, knows that [most] of us love & celebrate gender nonconformity, gender “deviation”, or any step-away from traditional gender boxes– and they also likewise know that a lot of gender abolitionists are trans, that a lot of gender abolitionists are dysphoric, and that we love & protect self-expression. they will also know that [most] of us are aware that having gender identities help ease trans people’s dysphoria; but that instead of wanting to keep gender as a class-system, we want to free people of one aspect of dysphoria– social/gender dysphoria– and that social dysphoria will cease existing under a non-gendered world, which will help trans people immensely. gender abolitionists also [mostly] understand that dysphoria is not one-dimensional, and that trans people will exist even after gender is abolished, because the neurological sex type of dysphoria will likely persist– but they will be exempt from persecution & discrimination, and will be able to access the care they require. it is kind of weird, i must admit, that these “trans activists” don’t want trans people to be free of one aspect of dysphoria… hm? 🤔

anyways. being dysphoric isn’t a choice. even if i were to be a transphobe, that would not cancel my dysphoria out.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for ditching my parents for my birthday?

Some backstory: I (17F) am turning 18 as of 2024. The 17th birthday is a lot more important in my culture because that's our country's age of majority, and my parents had insisted on celebrating it with a whole party/massive dinner like most other girls do, but I am in fact a loser and absolutely hate these festivities. I am also gender nonconforming/masc and the parties are like, think princessy stuff that I don't super vibe with. My mother is like me. She hates birthday parties and feminine clothing. I have no idea why she was pushing it so hard, but eventually her plans for my birthday fell through. I told her not to bother getting me gifts or anything because I thought I had evaded the celebration ordeal.

However. Much to my misfortune. My whole family decided to barge into my room at 2 in the morning to shower me in confetti!! Confetti!! It was all over the goddamn place, on my bed, in my clothes, etc. I hid under my blanket because there was nowhere else to go and my parents like to do this (barge into the one area of the house I occupy, and start demanding stuff) and my mother was telling me to at least come out for pictures. I was literally in my pajamas like dawg what.

I couldn't take it anymore and started screaming like a banshee because that was the only thing that would get them to leave, but they still stuck around for a couple more minutes being awkwardly like oh... sorry... you really hate this. My room was full of pink balloons (my favorite color is yellow???) and they got me an enormous cake with frosting. I hate cake and especially I hate frosting. It was actually hell.

Anyway more insane stuff happened, not important, but that's essentially the disaster of a seventeenth birthday that I had. I know they want to do something for my eighteenth. I really don't like celebrating things, nor do I particularly want to, but judging by that whole ordeal I think they're going to try something again anyway.

So my plan is to just... not come home after school. Or if I don't have school then I'd just go out in the morning. I don't leave the house, so I don't have curfew, and I don't even want to stay out that long. Just long enough that they're all passed out and I can escape ANY AND ALL ATTEMPTS at giving me gifts, congratulating me, and shooting confetti all over my fucking room.

They're probably not going to call the cops, I'd tell them I'm going out and not kidnapped, just not where and for how long. I also think they kind of can't call the cops on me because I've been a legal adult where I'm from since the disaster birthday. Maybe that will help with the plan. I honestly think I'm just going to go to a café and write or something. I'm so over it, I want to have a birthday that isn't messy, that day means absolutely nothing to me and confetti pisses me off. Since my childhood my birthday has never been about me, like I don't really get what I would like to get, so I'm cool with not celebrating it at all. It doesn't matter.

To me simply avoiding them for the whole day is such a win-win scenario but I don't really know if this is an underdeveloped frontal lobe speaking. I also know they're likely to buy a cake in advance and I may be ruining plans by disappearing. My birthday is late in the year, so I have time to think about it, but I do think my parents are kind of insane. I don't think I can talk them out of doing any more of this stuff. Sorry this got long, but WIBTA?

(And yes I would love to move out but capitalism)

[remuslupinslefteyebrow]

The Infantilisation of Aziraphale and Why It’s Such An Awful Thing.

Hii there, I'm Teddy and um this is my yap because this is a very close to my heart subject as you probably will be able to tell upon reading. Sorry if theres any repeated points or errors, I did my best to edit it. Anyways, enjoy! <3

The infantilisation of Aziraphale undermines his whole personality as an age old being, one who is incredibly powerful, strong, and intelligent. Far from infantile, he's made rational decisions and at times let his emotions influence them, yes, but this is no way an excuse to chalk him down to childish. Infantilising Aziraphale also jeopardises his relationship with Crowley, someone just as old and intelligent as he is, yet he is rarely infantilised. Although Aziraphale’s decisions may be more ‘pure’ than Crowley's, influenced by his ideas of rules and obligation, pushed on him from his very creation, they don't display naivety or the foolishness depicted in many infantile decisions. (for the most part)

People often infantilise him to purposefully further the effeminate, ‘cutesy’ stereotype of gay men, specifically gay men that don't necessarily conform to society's very strict beauty constructs whether it be through age, appearance, nationality, disabilities all these things can affect it. 

A lot of gay men face either infantilisation or hypersexualisation and the way some of the good omens fandom treats Crowley and Aziraphale is exactly this stereotype.

They strip down the personalities of crowley and Aziraphale to something that may be only  a small fraction of their personality, like Aziraphale’s softness being turned into this shy, mouse of a person, relying on crowley for everything, helpless, pathetic, crowley’s sometimes suave, cool manner turning him into a ice-cold, smooth-talking often masochistic alpha male fucking sex god. Neither of them are these things. 

The fandom also tends to deliberately remove Crowley's femininity which historically has been a large part of his character, just look at his portrayals throughout the years. Like why? All for the sake of some Colleen Hoover style fuck boy?? Hell to the fucking no.

They often turn Crowley into a total slut as well, mindless and perpetually horny, neither of those things is he, especially not mindless. He’s proven himself to be clever, cunning and wily, as per his demonic heritage, but tends to do things a little…. Undemonically. 

Oh well.

Aziraphale’s femininity, his softness and joy, his purity isn't an excuse to reduce him down to singularly those things. He is a well rounded character, with so many layers of personality and history and all these things that if you take away these elements it's no longer Aziraphale. It might as well be someone’s random OC. (well technically he’s Neil Gayma- ahem i mean Gaiman’s oc but yk elementary, my dear Watson)

The points people tend to zone in on in their quest to baby their dear sweet Aziraphale who ‘must be protected at all costs’ are usually these:

His innocence, particularly about human culture (though admittedly he knows more about certain things than even crowley does)

His love of soft, sweet things

His emotional dependence on crowley

is reluctance to rebel against authority

His politeness

People forget Aziraphale is completely capable of defending and taking care of himself. He’s not your ‘uwu soft boy’ who needs to be looked after. No, he’s far from that. The whole ‘infantilisation thing’ is also just an excuse to dumb down and baby gender-nonconforming people which in itself is atrocious. As my very good co-writer Kris said, he’s “the angel of the fucking eastern gate for crying out loud.” He wields a flaming sword, can produce strong miracles and can resist temptation. Oh, did I mention he also helped avert a whole FUCKING APOCALYPSE??? AS IN. END OF THE WORLD. FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. OH NO, BOOHOO, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE TYPE APOCALYPSE?????????? HMM?

HIS KINDNESS IS ALSO WORTH NOTING.

He's also proven himself to be perfectly capable of making his own decisions with his own mind, has proven himself to have a conscience, a strong sense of right and wrong that he formed partly alone, sometimes deviating from heavens set ‘code’ for beliefs and behaviour, has proven himself to be able to deal with the guilt and confusing emotions (to a certain degree) that come alongside with finding yourself deeply involved with someone that you know the very institution that created you despises. 

Aziraphale’s sense of fashion and general propriety  also furthers the ‘effeminate’ stereotype, making him seem overly vain and prudish, he can be these things, he can sometimes even be petulant, but this further proves his well rounded character as being shown to display a wide range of emotions.

Using direct quotes from the book here are some lines people may use to zone in on Aziraphale’s femininity, and then of course, you find another reason for his infantilisation. (Women are dumbed down and infantilised, OBVIOUSLY.)

Aziraphales effeminate qualities:

“Aziraphale spread his elegantly-manicured hands.”

“Tartan is stylish.” 

“Angels had certain moral standards to maintain and so, unlike Crowley, he preferred to buy his clothes rather than wish them into being from raw firmament. And the shirt had been quite expensive.”

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”

Aziraphale has also been shown to be able to be thoughtless, careless and at times even selfish. 

In season one, a dove used for magic dies in his coat pocket due to his thoughtlessness, though he ressurects it soon after its discovery. 

I ALSO FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DESPISE WHEN PEOPLE TWINKIFY AZIRAPHALE.

LIKE.

WHY.

His appearance goes hand in hand with his character. It HIGHLIGHTS elements of his character. He’s gluttonous. A quality we shouldn’t really see in an angel, but regardless we do. Because of this quality, he's plump. And? This doesn't affect his personality or character and is in fact still essential to it. 

His vanity affects his appearance greatly. He’s said to have soft hands, ‘neatly manicured’. He typically doesn’t grow facial hair, opting for a clean shaven rather cherubic appearance. We know he greatly prides himself on his clothes, keeping them in pristine condition for hundreds of years, taking painstaking care with them. We see him greatly disappointed in season one when his jacket is shot by a paintball and he’s reluctant to wash or even magically remove it because he’ll ‘still know it’s there’, so in the end Crowley removes it for him, after which Aziraphale seems quite satisfied. He doesn’t mention about ‘knowing it’s still there’. Gay much.

We keep seeing qualities in Aziraphale that aren’t usually typical or desirable in an angel, adding more layers to his character and personality. If he didn’t have these things, he’d be like any other angel we see. 

These angels aren’t necessarily cruel, or callous, or mean. They have no concept of such things. They simply follow orders to the extent they do not question or care what the thing is they’re being ordered to do. They don’t have an internal moral battle over whether this is right or wrong. They don’t believe that their actions could possibly be wrong or misguided because they literally take God at his every word. Get an order, complete it. Simple as that. 

It’s because of the traits he’s developed by himself over time that make him so likeable. Do you honestly think he’d be popular at all without these things? Then how can he be stripped of these things so frequently people are starting to forget his original character completely? It’s such a shame.

In fact he really isn’t a very good angel at all. He’s far too human. But you see, that’s what makes him so powerful. He does have a conscience. It influences him. He has a sense of right and wrong. He rebels, because he thinks. He thinks and therefore he decides things are wrong. And he decides not to obey those things.

Off topic as I round my points up:

In reference to the appearance quirks of the angels, someone in a reddit post three years ago (user has been deleted) put it wonderfully:

“I believe that the gold make-up and highlights on Uriel and Michael’s face, Sandalphon’s diamond-studded grill with a crucifix, and Gabriel’s violet eyes were design choices to communicate their ethereal natures to the audience.

The way they did this with Aziraphale are his white outfits, gold angel themed jewellery, the cherubic curls, but most of all, his halo. The director put a lot of effort into always backlighting Aziraphale’s blond hair to give the appearance of a halo, as well as placing him in well lit areas. The result is that Aziraphale practically glows in every scene he’s in. Michael Sheen put a ton of light into Aziraphale’s smile as well, in a way probably no other actor could have done.

If we’re going to settle on something as an ethereal quirk for Aziraphale, it’s his radiance.”

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this giant yap, I’m very honoured. 

anyways gang this is the other half of this post written by my very good friend, Kris. ( @anth0ny-c0wl3yy )

Enjoy! <3

[cinderella-ish]

Fruits Basket Queer Headcanons

The more I watch and read Fruits Basket, the more I get the sense that no one is straight here. Well... almost no one. So, in honor of pride month, here are my queer headcanons for the cast of Fruits Basket!

(Disclaimer that these are my own personal headcanons, obviously nothing official, etc... I try to draw on evidence from the text, but I'll admit I'm occasionally going purely off vibe. Also, I'm bi and genderfluid, so that's the lens I'm bringing to this. I'd love to hear your headcanons, especially if they differ from mine! Enjoy!)

Genderfluid and/or genderqueer: Ayame and Ritsu

I (probably somewhat controversially) think a lot of the gender non-conformity among Fruits Basket characters is just that: gender non-conformity. Momiji is one example; he dresses in girls' clothing (though not "like a girl") until his growth spurt, but it seems important to him to be seen as a man from at least that point forward.

Ritsu is someone whose gender identity and/or nonconformity really should've been explored more in the manga - as written, it feels like Ritsu's exploration of gender was viewed as something he'd grow out of, rather than a search for understanding himself. He doesn't really seem to mind being identified as either male or female, though he obviously feels a lot of shame about his comfort with wearing women's clothes (though no one around him when we meet him really seems to mind, which is nice-- I also appreciate that Ritsu was shown to have friends who adore him outside of the Sohmas). Anyway, the fact that he seems okay with being referred to as both a man and a woman is the entire basis for this headcanon.

Ritsu also idolizes Ayame, and I think part of this stems from Ayame's own security in his non-traditional gender presentation. We don't really get a lot of Ayame's thoughts on gender, despite his line of work, but he strikes me as the sort of person who would enjoy playing with his own gender presentation and would be more than open to exploring his gender identity (and probably has!). I think Ayame would lean more toward having an expansive view of masculinity rather than dressing more feminine when he feels more feminine, but I also think he would embrace the different ways people might perceive his gender.

Transgender Woman: Akito Sohma

This I think is quite clear in canon. Akito was assigned male at birth, then transitioned to female.

What makes it hard for some people to see Akito as trans is that the reason she was assigned male at birth was not the typical reason people are assigned male at birth in our world (it was her mother's demand, rather than a guess based on the shape of her genitals), but I don't think that makes her any less trans.

Under the Ace and/or Aro Umbrellas

This umbrella is a little tricky for several of these characters, because they've been forbidden from dating, or had very controlling parents, or thought they'd only hurt anyone they loved, so they haven't necessarily had time to figure out whether they've just repressed that part of themselves or they just don't experience attraction at all/without a strong emotional connection first. (Not everyone needs time to figure that out, though!) But anyway, here's who I think would eventually find themselves under at least one of these umbrellas!

Asexual/Aromantic: Kazuma

I love the tidbit that Kazuma tried dating women, but talked so much about Kyo that he never got a second date. I like the interpretation of him as a gay man, but to me, he reads as asexual/aromantic. Dating just doesn't even seem to be on his radar!

Demisexual/Demiromantic: Kyo, Shigure, Machi

A lot of the fandom sees Kyo as demi, and I'm totally here for that interpretation of him. He generally seems annoyed by or frightened of girls who aren't Tohru (frightened either when there's a risk of transforming, or when Kagura is involved). Also, it's CUTE that Kyo takes after his dad (Kazuma) in this way.

At first blush, it seems very unlikely Shigure is under the ace umbrella, but I couldn't stop thinking about his brief relationship with Mayu. He's the one who suggested they date, yet he seemed completely disinterested in her. He did sleep with Ren, but that was only for revenge and because he imagined Akito would look like her if she'd been allowed to grow up as a woman. I genuinely believe all his "high school girls" ickiness was an act, much like most of his personality.

It doesn't seem like Machi can totally tell if/when she likes something (or someone!). This makes me wonder if she's just never had feelings for anyone before Yuki.

Demiromantic: Rin, Hiro

Rin seems open to sexual relations with people other than Haru, but I genuinely can't see her having romantic feelings for anyone other than him. I see Hiro similarly with respect to Kisa. I think, if they ever split, it would take an extremely long time for him to even be open to falling for someone else.

Under the Bi/Pan+ Umbrella

So, I'm not making a distinction between these two (and other orientations that fall under the same umbrella, like poly- or omnisexual) because that seems like a very personal, internal conversation. I know some people make a distinction between the way bi and pan people experience attraction, but some don't, and that feels too prescriptivist for my purposes here. So, these are characters who I think experience attraction to multiple genders!

Tohru obviously falls for Kyo, but she also thinks Akito is cute, she thinks Rin is "shapely" and "beautiful" (her words!), and she goes along with it when Saki talks about them getting married.

Yuki ends up with Machi (and I love them together!) but I think Kyo was his first crush. His arc is also very relatable for a lot of queer folks (myself included!). And he's a disaster. Long live bisexual disaster Yuki Sohma!

Shigure is tricky, because the flirtation between him and Ayame could just be a joke, but I personally think it's a joke that arose out of some fun nights spent together...

Akito obviously likes men, but she also flirts with Tohru when they first meet.

Saki talks about marrying both Tohru and Kazuma. She's probably joking about Kazuma, but she's generally a very literal person, so I don't think she's joking about Tohru. She also marries a foreigner canonically, and that foreigner is probably a man.

Momiji talks about finding an amazing sweetheart-- not an amazing wife or girlfriend!!-- one day. I think he was being very intentional in not specifying his future partner's gender.

Hatori is the one I feel least sure of, but my headcanon is that he gets so annoyed and embarrassed by Shigure and Ayame because he doesn't want anyone to know he was totally part of at least a few of those trysts...

Mutsuki and Hajime are definitely together, right? And it seems like the fandom mostly sees Mutsuki as bi, which... yeah, that tracks.

Hatsuharu's first love was Yuki, and his last love was Rin.

Kakeru has a girlfriend, but for some reason, I have it in my head that he always refers to Kyo as Yuki's "hot cousin"? Did I just imagine that? Anyway... even if I did make that up, I think his backstory is a great analogy for the experience of coming out. He was trying to fit in a box and decided he was done with it. Pure chaotic bi energy.

For Ayame, see Shigure and Hatori above. (Also, “I am a bottom ALL THE WAY!!!”)

Mine is admittedly here just based on vibes.

Mitsuru likes Ritsu even though she's not entirely sure of Ritsu's gender!

Kimi is also here purely based on vibes.

Gay and Lesbian

Hiroshi has always struck me as gay. I can't really explain it. I usually have absolutely awful gaydar, so it's odd that he gives me such clear gay vibes. I wrote him as gay in my longfic, Bloom Within Us, and I'll probably always write him as gay.

President Takei obviously has a crush on Yuki. We don't really see him show interest in anyone else (partially because he's such a minor character). He also seems to still be a bachelor in Another, which could be because he can't legally marry yet...

My headcanon that Kunimitsu is gay kind of popped up as I was writing Bloom Within Us. There's no particular reason, and he doesn't give me strong gay vibes or anything.

Hajime and Mutsuki are definitely a couple! (Right?!) And it seems like most of the fandom sees Hajime as gay which... yeah, I can get behind that.

Akimoto (Arisa's senpai from her gang) is another character who gives me such strong vibes that I thought it was canon that she was a lesbian. Whoops. Anyway, I headcanon that Akimoto is gay, and referenced that in one of my oneshots.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Controversial omission: Arisa Uotani. She says she likes Kureno because he reminds her of Tohru, but she doesn't like Tohru? Yes, she gives me major queer vibes but this to me points to her being straight. Also, based on the way she reacts to her friends developing crushes or falling in love (and the way they react to her falling in love), I don't think there's anything between her and Saki or her and Tohru (as much as I love fics that pair her with Saki!). I also think not every relationship with lots of physical affection and strong feelings of love has to be romantic.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading my queer headcanons! This has been in my drafts for months, so I'm really glad Pride Month gave me a reason to finish this post!

Happy Pride!

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

So I didn't really get it before when one aon talked about dnd monsters, until I started a session with my friends.

My DM, we call her the dungeon mom, and all of us are gender nonconforming but they all belive me to be aroace, which I am, I'm on that spectrum, can't stand humanxhuman stuff for myself. But anyways, my DM is extremely good at describing stuff, her vocabulary is immaculate for the settings.

This brings a small problem for me when I have to rethink my responses slightly to not be sexual against the monsters, like a lovely little plant with slithering vines trying to entrap the party and prevent us from moving on, and many other little monsters.

She is so good at describing that I was glad we were playing virtually without cams on the first session, I'm pretty sure I was so red and possibly drooling?

It just gave me ideas later on for my own personal use of my clumsy dragonborn getting wrapped up in vines and fucked until he couldn't remember his own name.

I so hope she doesn't follow this blog or know my writing style because I would possibly die if this was ever brought up between us.

.

[akajustmerry]

bisexuals aren’t gay they’re bisexual. it’s not the same. gay people face persecution worlwide and cannot marry or date the person they love in more than 70% of countries on this planet. bi people can opt out and date the opposite sex whenever they want

so no being bi is not even remotely comparable

oh my fucking gooooooooood i SAID if I received ANY bi privilege discourse asks I would be billing for time wasted.

So hello! I'm an unemployed trans bisexual of colour who was bullied out of their last workplace and is currently recovering from debilitating surgery. In the time it took you to type this biphobic gobbledygook out, you could have donated a few dollars to my paypal or ko-fi so so I have less stress paying for doctors appointments and buying groceries.

you clearly a) hate bi people and b) assume we're all cis gender nonconforming people in "straight" relationships which isn't fucking true c) if this ask is in response to the asks I received about fucking...LESTAT being bisexual in iwtv??? the two main relationships he has in that show are with MEN so what the fuck are you talking about?? and d) do you seriously think bi people in gay relationships have a magical forcefield around us so we're not impacted by homophobia?? do you think trans bi people's ability to be in "straight" relationships saves us from transphobia?

I'll tell you what being bi definitely doesn't save you from - intimate partner violence! and bisexual women especially are at the highest risk. Or did you think it was merely a coincidence that Amber Heard, Megan Thee Stallion, and Evan Rachel Wood - who all had high profile IPV court cases in the last few years - are all bisexual women?

The idea that bi people can "opt out" of danger is simply not accurate or true when bisexual women are at the highest risk of violence in both "straight" and queer relationships. bi women are at risk of DV from men as well as experiencing the same homophobic persecution any gay person does while in a gay relationship. tell me, how's your fucking "opt out because they're not gay" theory of bisexuality looking now? Sure, many bi people are in "straight" relationships, but this isn't even unique to bi people. Like are you also going to claim that queer people in lavender arrangements or abstaining from relationships all together also have "opted out"?? Be serious. Be so fucking serious.

Oh. Do me one last favour! can you contact the members of my own family who no longer speak to me because they found out I was bisexual? Can you explain to my dad's cousin who told me I needed therapy to "fix" my homosexuality that, actually, I can also fuck guys so it's fine? That'd be lovely, thanks.

Anyways so glad we had this whole chat. I have no fucking clue what people want from these kinds of discussions about bisexuality other than an excuse to be a piece of shit. get well soon though <3

[our-trans-punk-experience]

What does it really mean to be a "Punk?"

I'm completely on board with the whole "beat the shit out of fascists and pigs" thing but I'm skeptical of any sort of subculture or group that celebrates values of any kind as "good" because I get pissy when confronted with concrete ideologies like Marxism. I'm scared that I'm going to end up getting into some kind of clique. I don't want to be in a clique where I get shat on for not having the morally approved opinion. If I can't have a controversial opinion without being silenced, then I don't want anything to do with "Punk."

I'm an Egoist. You're an anarchist, so, assuming you know who Max Stirner is, I'm pretty sure you know what that entails, but in case you don't, I put myself above all things. That's not to say that I'm a greedy bastard who wants to consume all the products ever, but that my own being and desires are the basis of my views on politics/society. I hate gender not merely because it oppresses all the poor minorities who need my help but because it gets in MY way, threatens MY life, and demands MY conformance to it. I want my damned life for myself. I want self-ownership. I see no legitimacy in the braindead wokeness of bougie college kids and chickenshit university profs. I want action in the here and now, not ineffectual Bookchinite/Leftcom/Marxist-Leninist meetings where we discuss how best to tickle the workers balls in the fallout of the USSR (which was an authoritarian shithole).

As a post-left anarchist (or preferably no-wing anarchist) I find myself skeptical of subcultures. "Oh, what's that? You don't like *band here?* Well you're automatically a poser/elitist/hipster/whatever." I understand that sometimes it's meant to pick out the actual posers by testing how thin your skin is, but it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan" because I refuse to define myself and my goals according to what other people deem morally correct.

I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor, but I want you to give me an actual reason to join the punk subculture. Just so I can see if it's really worth it. What's in it for me, and how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

RIGHT!! Fuckin love it when i get asks like this

I'll split up my answer so I can get through all the points without rambling

Political Theory

SO punk does not have any one kind of coherent political ideology. Core political views are

anti-authoritarianism

non-conformist

abstractly leftist

fuck bigots of any description

you will not be bound to Marxism or any key thinkers beliefs. Your politics are your own and disagreement is encouraged as long as you arent being a dick. Of course you might find some punks that get pissy about ideological purity, but they aren't very punk, sooo fuck em. Bootlicking isn't punk, even/especially if the Boot is Lenin's.

Egoism

yeah egoist anarchism is just fine in the punk scene. as long as your "for my own ends" mentality doesnt end up tipping over into "I will go on a Shein haul twice a month bc I want new clothes and fuck anyone who tells me how damaging it is". You don't have to be a saint, just again, don't be a massive dick about it. You can look out for your own ends for sure. You will find that the punk scene often times talks about community, in the sense of solidarity and common goals (which you seem to share anyway), so as long as you can jibe with that you'll be fine

Non-conformity

Is the entire bloody point. If you're looking for a community that won't tell you that you have to look a certain way, or listen to 100 bands from the 70s to be accepted, the punk scene is built on nonconformity. not even just from society but within the scene. And even the big name bands from back in the day were screaming about the dangers of homogenising the punk scene, or letting it get commodified. Differences in opinion, style, music taste, ect are the whole fucking point and if someone tries to impose punk "rules" about that, then they don't get the scene.

"it's really fucking annoying when people expect me to embody values like "don't do drugs" or "be vegan""

i do drugs and am not vegan. you really don't need to worry. i really fear for the punk that says "don't do drugs". absolutist ideals should not be shoved on you.

"I'm not really in a position to actually join a subculture at the moment because I'm a financially dependent minor,"

Ok so while I get that possibly if you're financially dependent on people who would be able to mess up your life if you wore clothes they didn't approve of, and wouldn't buy you anything, it can seem difficult, but I want to just reassure you a bit. Punk is built off communities with financial difficulties, DIY, and more than just spiked collars. You don't have to be able to make it to basement shows or out to the city to be a punk. You can listen to the music (definitely listen to the music), get involved in politics, learn the history, watch movies, read books, DIY your own clothes and accessories, including smaller things like badges, patches or chains. The scene is the people as well as what we do.

how hard am I allowed to kick the balls of Nazi scum?

make them piss blood for weeks.

[frommike]

The more news about season 5 comes out, the less faith i have that Byler will definitely be canon. As an ex Byler, i don't see anything else that indicates this, I have no hope, i just want Will to be very happy, his life has been very miserable. Unfortunately, i'm sure they won't have the courage to make Byler canonical.

I mean, I definitely understand having doubt, but not so much having no hope at all. That seems like a pretty desolate way to interact with your interests.

Especially as a result of the information we have so far on season 5... I really don't think any of that means anything. I interact with show/movie leaks occasionally because I live near popular filming sites, and every single time, the end result has turned out completely unexpected. Nothing is an indication of anything set in stone. But even what we do have of season 5 looks bleak for mileven, assuming that a lack of byler endgame means this is the alternative, to the point I wouldn't even assume they were a couple if we only had the information we have now. If the singular scene of them talking is what depleted your hope in byler entirely, I think you should be looking for therapists in your area instead of byler proof. That's not a stable way to think or interact with hobbies that are supposed to cause enjoyment.

But also, tell me what we have of other ships that indicates any of their endings. Nancy and Jonathan are... interacting. Lucas held Max's hand while she's still in a coma. I don't think Joyce and Hopper have interacted once in leaks. Vickie and Robin visit a hospital. The total amount of information we have is equivalent to less than 30 minutes worth of scenes, compared to 10+ hours of runtime. The information that we have on the supernatural story, that has visual cues for spoilers, is severely lacking. Much less the internal stories of all the characters that probably have way more intimate and personal moments in enclosed spaces that paparazzi can't reach. Seeing no indication of a personal storyline in heavily curated bts photos and leaks(that are probably mostly approved by the production team anyways to be honest), means nothing to me.

As for whether the writers will carry it out, I can't really see what would stop them. Gay characters are an obstacle for Disney, who parents get pissed at for revealing the concept of homosexuality to their 8 year old children. Not Stranger Things that's rated 14+, already has 3 gay characters, and makes enough money to be able to just flip the bird to anyone that attempts to pull executive action on their writing decisions. And that has, from the start, admonished homophobia and embraced homosexuality or otherwise gender related nonconformity(in Mike being a paladin as a protector and caretaker, but not so much a traditional fighter, Will's "feminine" interests and personality traits, Nancy's interest in guns, the very conscious discussion of toxic masculinity, etc).

I also generally believe that they've made a lot of stupid decisions if they don't intend to make byler canon(Will's painting, separating Mike and El again, "you're the heart!", not resolving Will's feelings within the season, to name a few), and a lot of questionable ones after that. There's queerbaiting and then there's fucking up the story direction for seemingly no reason.

At the very least I hope you're still able to interact amiably with the current byler fandom, even if you can't allow yourself the courtesy of hope :) don't let assholes online attempt to scare you out of your own personal opinions about a damn tv show with fictional characters. Whether they're canon or not, you're not stupid for thinking that they could happen in the first place, they pretty clearly intended a love triangle. The existence of Will's feelings brings doubt into their relationship just by virtue of him not having been explicitly rejected yet. No matter how straight you think Mike is, it can't trump trope recognition. And even without that, you're allowed to enjoy their relationship pairing for no other reason than that you enjoy it. Just do whatever makes you happy.

Even though I don't endorse convincing yourself that you can predict the future with 100% accuracy either. I'm not going to try to tell you "byler will definitely be canon," because I don't have a time machine to prove that to you. I don't think that the fact that it's not "definitely endgame" means that it definitely won't be, either, though. I think we have a pretty good chance, as much as jancy does. In the end, I don't place too many bets on what will happen, whether Mike and Will end up together or not, I'm just enjoying my time here right now. If they don't end up together then we can all curl up into balls and cry about it over edits and fanart and fanfiction or whatever, but that's not going to stop me from enjoying myself while I'm here.

[grubbygrrrl]

i need to. okay guys most of the issues i face are internalized insecurities created by my unique experiences and not systemic stigmatization or oppression (except for the ones created by racism) and obviously butch women have it much harder and face actual external danger, and femmes, ESPECIALLY skinny white femmes who do not know what its like to live in a stigmatized and demonized body, need to shut the fuck up <- disclaimer. but anyway i need to read more about femme identities and connect more with other femmes because sometimes i feel this persistent nagging fear that it's all just pretend. a lot of it takes the voice of my ex partner who (man at the time) convinced me that i was straight and like they were so fucking wrong but the whole experience was such shit for my sense of self and my security in my gender and sexuality. and their voice is in my head like "if you're attracted to masculine women, why not just date men?" and i would really love them to SHUT UP. and i get. scared. that i am fetishizing or tokenizing butches (i had a really horrible dream the other night about this lmfao) or not seeing them as women (at least, when they are women). basically a lot of self doubt and evil insecurities and fear that i am harming my friends and lovers by being an evil pretender. my relationship with my gender and my body is such shit and i do think a lot of it is influenced by my sense of being locked out of womanhood due to not being white or tiny (i am skinny, but tall and curvy and therefore midsize, and raised by a much skinnier mother with an eating disorder who has deeply damaged my self perception <- another disclaimer). so being feminine often feels to me like being gender nonconforming. so maybe i need to talk to femmes of color. and i have friends of color who are feminine but i feel like i don't have friends of color who are Femme4Butch Specifically or ofos femmes and maybe i need to connect with them because i do feel this. like. sadness and loneliness and fear that i'm just pretending and i'm going to be a straight women telling her children, "haha, i was gay in college!"

[symphonic-scream]

Okay here are the

Phantom Thieves of Gender

This started from some headcanons for a transboy Haru thing and now I have a mini arcana swap with the most gender team of teens ever so. Here

Fool/World - non binary Futaba, they/them, don't have much for them yet

Lovers - tranfemme Akira, she/they, wears glasses, first year on hormones, she doesn't talk much outside of the metaverse, but is a mad flirt

Chariot - trans Ann, she/her! She and Shiho are volleyball players, she isn't allowed to play for the school cause of her birth sex, but she and Shiho play for a little local rec team after the first arc, been on hormones since 14, her parents are rich and supportive

Emperor - nonconforming/genderqueer Makoto, any pronouns, preference for they or he. Was a goody goody stuck under Kobayakawa's thumb, but the Thieves help them out and the week after the confession, they show up to school in an oversized plaid jacket and pants, a new gender identity, and hair more choppy, parted more like Sae's, more grunge. Eventually they'll try binding and do it once and a while

Priestess - trans man Ryuji, he/him. He's at Kosei, athletic scholarship, his fellow athletes fall for scams and he has to solve it. He's been out since he was 15 (he's 16/17) but can't afford hormones so he's doing masc workouts and everything he can naturally do

Hermit - genderfluid Yusuke (she/they/he, alternative day from day). Again, not much for this one, sorry

Empress - demigirl Hifumi, she/they. Also at Kosei, she takes Haru's original role, and her mom is a lot worse in this. That's, pretty much what I have for her rn

And, the other two arcana that I've worked out

Star - transboy Haru, he/him. Transition started at 12, he got top in his second year, and of course, dating Makoto. They introduce him to Futaba, and the star social link is about Haru wanting to garden. He's a soft kinda guy, but he's scary with a bat

Death - Sae, cis. Happy Niijima siblings. Thats the reason.

Anyways that's the post. Gender Thieves.

feel free to send me asks about this I love these little gender kids

Stuff for this can be found under the tags 'Gender Thieves' and 'trans boy Haru' for older asks

[lotus-duckies]

the queerness of 2012 is really weird because it straddles the line of plausible deniability so well and the fact it's so obviously edgy teenage boy coded, so when something kinda queer happens you're like "wait was that intentional or" as opposed to Rise, where the queer coding is blatant, especially with its usage of gender nonconformity and literally putting a rainbow flag into the show

so anyway here's an essay about leo's bisexuality. yes this will be covering his crush on karai in a romantic context even though everyone hates it and wants to rephrase it as gender envy, i'm sorry but someone has to do it

The first question we must ask, does Leo have some kind of indication of having attraction to more than one gender?

There was a tumblr post recounting canon tmnt facts, one of which says the art book states that Leo has a 'man crush' on Captain Ryan.

Which, I am wheezing at the idea that the thing that makes Leo imperfect is the fact he has a man crush on Captain Ryan. Nothing else, just the man crush.

I did google the definition of a man crush because even though I am clearly just so manly what the heck is that.

-an intense and typically non-sexual liking or admiration felt by one man for another. -a man who is the object of another's intense liking or admiration.

Yeah that's approximately Leo's relationship with Captain Ryan, an intense admiration for a fictional man. Obviously, having a man crush doesn't automatically mean you're attracted to men, but given Leo's general behaviors in the show, I'm more inclined to believe he does have Some Kind of attraction to men.

Karai

The thing about Leo's crush on Karai is that it was executed in a distinctly different way than any of his brothers' love affairs.

With his brothers, they're very open about the fact they're into whatever girl the narrative has assigned them. Donnie's crush has been known by everyone since episode 1 and he and Mikey are not subtle about their admiration. Raph was talking about how cool he thinks Mona is and if turtles and newts can go on dates even though she was introduced as an antagonist before becoming an ally.

Karai was also introduced as an antagonist who Leo has some kind of attraction to, but he hid it. He refused to tell his family about it, only telling April who then chastised him about it. His family only found out by accident, and even then he either didn't tell them he liked her, shrouded in excuses of "We both like the fine craftsmenship of swords" and "I can see the good in her, I can save her", or begrudginly added "I guess I sort of liked her" at the end.

This reads as a very queer narrative, closeted kids discovering themselves and only their friends know out of fear of getting rejected by their families.

And this is also why I do think Leo has an Actual Crush on Captain Ryan. Trying to explain it as having an admiration for Captain Ryan and wanting to be a hero is much the same as trying to explain why he was hanging out with Karai, wanting to help her or admire swords.

His personality as a Very Good Boy who follows the rules and cares if they accidentally hurt people exemplifies the changes he went through from Karai's influence.

(also like. if space heroes is supposed to be a parody of star trek. girl star trek is so horny. and Leo says that space heroes has a ton of fans currently, implying he's seen the fanbase, and the very strong possibility that the fanbase is mostly populated by gay fanfiction

and yknow. Leo's the embodiment of 2010's tumblr fangirl, which has a lil queer autistic in it)

Karai is very visibly a lesbian, an edgy punk butch lesbian, and she and Shinigami lowkey embody a butch femme dynamic and the fact Karai is depicted as the more formidable, domineering force with a sword and Shinigami as a bit more pathetic with a cat is reminiscent of the japanese lesbian dynamics from this post. It's all very gay.

And she's an antagonist lesbian to Leo's closeted and internalized biphobia.

She represents the desire to give up and be swallowed by selfishness, forgoing responsibility and cleanliness in favor of having fun.

Leo is resistant to giving in. His attempts to do so immediately get shut down, and he's rejected by his family, even for a moment, for wanting to go do Bad Things. He tries to fix Karai, make her good and acceptable. But he slips further, eventually falling into Karai's circle to be gay and commit crimes against the Foot Clan empire.

In this way his sexuality is explored through self expression, the moral ambiguity, and transition from an absolute rule follower caring deeply about the affects his actions has on others to burning a building full of money. It's very classic "good girl getting corrupted" story telling, but at the same time it isn't, because Leo maintains an overall good moral compass, he just grew up. Sometimes killing people is a necessity, sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes people get hurt.

Being queer stops being this huge shameful, evil thing and it starts just being part of you.

[mjfsupremacy]

The hate that Swerve Strickland is getting as more of the IWC begin to realise he is on a trajectory to become AEW champion is racist. There's no other way to put it.

This tweet is the perfect summarisation.

The comments on this are vile, 1) I believe it's because she's a woman, and women aren't allowed to share space in a conversation about wrestling, which is why so many of us (women and gender nonconforming folk) came here. And 2) because this tribalism issue refuses to acknowledge any wrong, especially on the WWE side. (You would think Vince was in the front line of the blm protests the way some of these idiots are talking istg)

Here's the facts, though. AEW are going into their 5th year, and it's obvious to anyone with eyes that we will see a black world champion in the next 2. We are watching Swerve's story grow and evolve in, I think, a very similar way to Hangman's did. (I always veiwed Hangman as the main character of AEW, and this fued has felt like a passing of the torch in some ways, which I love)

Can you honestly name a single time that WWE actively invested in a black world champion? And I'm not talking about the women's division or NXT, I mean, what they willing label 'The most important prize in sports entertainment.' It took 40 years, and it has always come with a caveat. (The only person who comes to mind is Bobby Lashley, and to me, his reign always felt like it happened because of the work he and his faction did rather than any belief WWE had in him.)

Thankfully, I believe they are moving in the right direction, but I don't think they do that without brands like AEW and TNA actively pushing diversity. I also think that WWE higher up don't care about the women division at all and that has given the creative team control and we can see that in the diversity of the talent that is currently dominating the storylines.

This sport has a very deep and dark history of racism in the mainstream, (which is not representative of wrestling at its core) and I think it's up to the AEW brand now to push back and remind everyone who they are and what they believe in. A fear of isolating fans shouldn't even be a thought because the AEW we all fell in love with wouldn't want racists as fans to begin with.

Anyway, follow Lyric on Twitter if ur brave enough to venture to the absolute black hole of an app and call out racism when you see it.