#anyway. i might come back later and yap about the process for this in the tags

[cangrellesteponme]

i'm back from the dead. with bardlau!!

(loosely based on this thing i wrote a while ago)

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 16. YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of d wording, sexual jokes, crying, ynhoon teasing, yn never being safe

wc: 3.1k

episode desc - enjoy your stay today in yap central! as we’ve done the whole cycle, todays episode is a deeper one! we open up with a positive impact we’ve seen on each other. then we go right in with how our presence on social media has affected our relationships. following that up we keep the theme of the deeper episode and go over the influence social media has on us and how we view ourselves. we end the episode off by saying one thing we’ve noticed about one another as we’ve grown and how we think it affects the friendship. the episode ends off on a bittersweet note but we hope you enjoyed your stay today in yap central!

*the 6 of you are seated in your assigned seats. jungwon adjusts the soundboard and riki tests the mic out, then giving him a thumbs up. sunoo sets his mic up a little closer to pick up his audio and looks to the camera, setting his phone down*

sunoo: it’s been so long since we sat in here

giselle: i know like two weeks right?

yn: i think almost three *you say, adjusting your outfit as well as your seating position. riki scoots over so you have more room.*

jungwon: i mean it counts as like a summer break since we didn’t really take one.

kat: good point. you know guys do you guys remember those um fuck what were they called

riki: it would help if you gave a description

kat: shut up im thinking

*the rest of you stare at kat in silence until jungwon breaks the silence to laugh, the rest of you following suit*

jungwon: im sorry it’s just what could it be that has you thinking that long

giselle: she’s using everything in that little brain come on now!

*giselles comment makes the rest of you laugh even harder, kat laughing as well*

kat: i can’t even think of it nevermind

yn: it’s okay babe you’ll find it later.

riki: i have to say these costumes are amazing actually. might be my favorite theme

giselle: you know riki you’ve been hating a lot less recently.

jungwon: i was gonna say that too, he’s a bit nicer

riki: what can i say, finally holding my deal for the new year’s resolution

yn: watch now that we said this he’s gonna be doing some fucked up shit by the time the episode comes out

*a text box pops up on the screen saying “he in fact did do some fucked up shit during the editing process of the episode - jungwon” then disappears after a couple seconds.*

riki: you have no faith in me

yn: simply stating the facts

jungwon: you guys ready for me to sign in?

kat: go for it man *she nods at jungwon who smiles back. jungwon adjusts himself and looks to the camera*

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central i am your host today, jungwon or aang. starting from my far left we have.

kat: toph

riki: zuko

yn: katara!

giselle: azula

sunoo: appa!! *he shows off his fuzzy appa bucket hat, earning a smile from all of you*

yn: sunoo i love you please don’t die

*sunoo looks at you in horror as the others burst out laughing*

jungwon: anyways.. *nervous laugh* the cycle is complete so today is a deep episode!

giselle: oh my god last time i literally bawled on my way home

kat: won you always pick the most brutal questions

sunoo: i cannot believe you asked us if the younger versions of ourselves would like the us now. like that is so ugh

riki: look at the way he’s smiling i think it’s something torturing again

*jungwon grins evilly at everyone making the rest of you groan in both discomfort and agony.*

jungwon: starting with my first question! what is a positive impact you have noticed on each of us. let’s start with sunoo. you guys don’t have to go one at a time just build it up.

sunoo: okay well.. lay it on me. *he looks to the rest of you, nervously, then shocked at who speaks up first*

riki: you laugh a lot more

*giselles eyes widened as riki spoke, the rest of you sharing the same reaction. everyone stayed quiet so riki could talk.*

riki: like when we were in highschool you always seemed to be bothered, or like you just never really were happy. and i think when we started doing this and you started tiktok you’ve been a lot happier

yn: i was honestly gonna say the same thing. you seem happier when we go out sunoo, like you want to be there.

sunoo: i feel a lot happier, honestly it sounds stupid but doing this with you guys does make me really happy.

kat: i agree. i mean i really wouldn’t trade it for anything.

giselle: awww look at us having our moment!

*both you and sunoo giggle at giselles comment, jungwon nodding to giselle, signaling she’s next*

kat: giselle, you don’t really care what people have to say about you anymore.

jungwon: ahhhh i was gonna say that

kat: like you seem so much more confident now than you did before.

giselle: when though? because i feel like i just started feeling like this overnight.

yn: if i were to pinpoint a time frame id say when you broke up with [BLEEP]

sunoo: no i COMPLETELY agree, like there’s a brightness to you now.

giselle: aw thank you guys *she pouted then smiled*

jungwon: guys please be nice to me.

riki: you’ve always been a natural born leader. i just think you’ve always been positive.

yn: i agree but there’s like a glow to him now

kat: oh my god are you pregnant?

*everyone looks at kat then bursts out laughing. some of you stop but jungwon and giselle can’t stop laughing.*

sunoo: oh my god it has something to do with who gave you that bracelet

jungwon: sunoo seriously *his cheeks turn pink, hand now covering the friendship bracelet*

giselle: oooo who made it for you?

jungwon: it was a mutual swap

yn: mutual swap.. or she gave you that wap?

*the others start laughing again, jungwon as well. riki daps you up*

riki: that was a bar

jungwon: i’m not admitting anything.. on camera.

everyone: OOOOOOOO

jungwon: next! go flame yn!!

yn: not fair, we weren’t even done with you

jungwon: don’t care, you’re not as closed off as you used to be

riki: oh my god yeah, when we were kids you were so shy

yn: really? i feel like im still in my little shell

kat: no i get what they mean. i mean even when i met you, you were really shy.

yn: thank you?

riki: i think jungwon means it in the way that you’re more open to meeting others now. like you enjoy being a people person

yn: ahhh, i see now. i guess the podcast really helped with that. like seeing people say how they enjoy my little bits and just things like that. it sounds conceited but it almost made me feel like people actually valued me? you know.

giselle: i get it, it doesn’t sound conceited babe

yn: okay i don’t like this much attention

giselle: this sounds weird to say but riki has gotten nicer atleast to us

kat: yeah i see

riki: die

sunoo: glad to know you haven’t changed..

jungwon: guess someone doesn’t wanna open up today

riki: oh would you look at that! it’s kats turn!!

yn: i think kats tells us a lot more now. like before you never really told us anything about yourself.

kat: i just have trust issues, it was nothing personal.

giselle: it’s true it took her so long to open up to me

riki: i honestly think the podcast brought out the best in us. surprisingly enough

jungwon: i see what you mean. maybe another way to put it is that we realized how much closer the camera brought us

giselle: or this friendship is just a ploy for jungwon to make more money off of us

*everyone laughs*

sunoo: we’re such coworkers

yn: heard it here first!! giselle hates her friends

giselle: can you stop with that *laughs*

yn: oh i’ll drag it through the mud

giselle: then i’ll drag yn[BLEEP] through the mud

*everyone laughs even harder now, you side eyeing giselle.*

sunoo: she kinda got you there

yn: let’s move on?

jungwon: speaking of relationships. *you glare jungwon down as he chuckles a little, looking at his phone once more.* how do you guys think social media affected your relationships and how do you think social media just influences how you view yourself. you can answer it in any order.

sunoo: i feel like having a presence on social media just makes having a relationship so much harder.

giselle: it kinda does, like people just expect for you to lay out your entire lives on social media.

jungwon: i think it depends on what kind of person you’re with, it’s almost like that person has to be up to your fans standards you know.

yn: i think there’s some people who can be normal about it but at the same time you have to be okay with everyone knowing everything about you.

kat: yeah but then it just shows that people online think that we don’t deserve privacy. it’s fucked up like they’re borderline stalking us you know?

*riki glanced at you as kat spoke, noticing how you stiffened at the word stalking*

riki: a lot of people aren’t okay online, it’s weird. like being so obsessed with someone to the point of finding out their personal information

giselle: if that ever happened to any of us i really don’t know what i would do.

jungwon: i think i honestly would try to sue you know. you have to be a certain level of fucked to do something like that.

yn: yeah, i agree it’s so weird.

kat: i kinda don’t wanna sound like a pick me

riki: just say it, you won’t sound like one.

kat: it’s so much harder being a girl with a social media presence.

sunoo: the fact that you had to hesitate to even say that says everything

jungwon: i really don’t get it either, like i’ve seen both women and men do the same things online and sometimes the guy is worse than the girl and yet it’s always the girl getting attacked and harassed.

giselle: i think it’s because people just view girls as easy targets almost. like a girl could do something completely normal and the internet would spin it to make her a villain

yn: it’s disgusting really, no one really ever really wants to side with a girl.

jungwon: do the comments still get you guys? i mean i know it was really bad in the beginning

kat: actually no i remember when it got bad. it got bad that episode where [BLEEP]

*jungwon and giselle glance at each other then start laughing*

giselle: remind me to edit that out.

yn: honestly no, the comments don’t bother as much anymore. after a while i realized that they’re just saying this because they have nothing else to talk about so i just stopped looking.

kat: i agree, it gets better when you just stop reading the comments all together.

riki: god please take periods away from women and give it all to me.

*you and kat give riki a look then burst out laughing, sunoo jungwon and giselle following that.*

sunoo: can’t stay serious for a second

riki: i would never joke about women in pain

*jungwon and kat keep laughing as riki goes on, unable to take him seriously*

yn: going back to the original question i just think it’s hard, like seeing people overstep a boundary or intrude on your life and just be okay with it

sunoo: and people just say oh well you asked for this um? no i didn’t actually i just wanted post skincare videos

*jungwon snorts, causing a chain reaction for everyone else to laugh*

kat: im glad we haven’t cried in this episode yet.

giselle: oh my god don’t jinx it he still has two more questions

jungwon: you might cry at this next one *kat sends a look to jungwon and he gives her an evil smile* my next question is what changes have we seen in one another as we’ve grown up together. it can be good or bad.

riki: jungwons lost it this is so similar to the first question

yn: i feel like he means overall

jungwon: thank you! atleast someon listens to me

yn: *you look around shocked and confused* oh my god.. did you guys hear that? was that a ghost?

*jungwon stares at you as everyone else laughs at your joke*

sunoo: so are we gonna go around in a circle?

jungwon: no how about.. the person sitting across from you. like riki sits across from giselle so they can say it about each other

kat: wait i wanna start

sunoo: this is too much pressure

kat: *she stares at sunoo and smiles warmly* sunoo i admire your love for us. like i don’t know you always support all of us no matter what and i feel like as we’ve grown closer you just have so much love to give

giselle: that’s so adorable

riki: sunoo i love your videos please don’t die

sunoo: STOP WITH THAT JOKE *he turns to look at kat* thank you kat i love you. i have to say sometimes i feel like you don’t tell us everything but it’s okay, just because we’re your friends doesn’t mean we have to know everything about you. i just want you to know that we’ll always listen no matter what.

*kat stares at sunoo as he smiles at her, then looks down when she feels tears welling up in her eyes. riki looks at giselle and jungwon panicked as they pass him the box of tissues.*

yn: aw babe *you frown looking at her as she lifts her head up to see tears streaming down her cheeks*

sunoo: wait i didn’t mean to make you cry

kat: it’s okay i jinxed myself

*everyone laughs slightly, still worried about her. sunoo moves his mic and gets up to hug kat. they stay like that for a few seconds until he lets go, patting her head. he says something but the mic can’t pick it up then walks back to his seat.*

kat: it’s not that i don’t want there was just a time where i felt like no one really care you know?

jungwon: you’re not obligated to tell us everything, but we care more than you think even if we have weird ways of showing it. *he glares at riki who only throws his hands up*

*the rest of you laugh at riki’s reaction and even kat lets out a chuckle after wiping her tears*

kat: to the viewers watching.. this never happened i am mysterious and batman doesn’t cry

giselle: nurse.. she’s out again

riki: okay giselle! lay it on me! *claps his hands together*

giselle: you use being mean as a cover up you actually care a lot about what people think but you use being rude or mean as a shield.

*sunoo gasps, the rest of you stare in silence because giselle is 100% right*

riki: okay cut the cameras

jungwon: i mean she’s not wrong

riki: if you wanted me to cry it’s not gonna happen

giselle: i know

riki: i hate you guys

sunoo: yeah sure you do

riki: well, since you want a taste of your own medicine *riki clears his throat* you shouldn’t get into another relationship, atleast until you evaluate how you act during them.

giselle: excuse me?

jungwon: weird ass time to admit your feelings

riki: you’re a weirdo that’s not how i meant it

yn: well then how did you mean it

kat: i’m curious

riki: every time i've seen you get into a relationship you just stop acting like yourself. you’re less confident and it’s almost as if you change yourself to please the guy you’re with. I just don’t like seeing any of my friends like that.

*all of you stare in silence at giselle, the air feeling heavy as she pushes her mic away and mumbles something to jungwon then ups and leaves.*

yn: um. is she okay?

jungwon: she needs a second

riki: was it something i said?

jungwon: it’ll be okay, she just said she needs a second.

sunoo: she’ll be okay guys, let’s move on yeah?

yn: okay well.. jungwon i think you bottle a lot of things up, intentional or not.

jungwon: *he sighs, crossing his arms* it’s not intentional i just think you guys have too many worries on your own plates to worry about mine.

kat: even if we have a lot going on that’ll never stop us from wanting to know what’s going on won

jungwon: i know i guess it’s just hard? to admit i need help?

sunoo: there’s never anything wrong with that

jungwon: thanks guys

riki: yeah yeah

jungwon: okay yn, im glad you like yourself more

kat: um

riki: wow!

sunoo: that is certainly a statement

yn: excuse me??

jungwon: no i worded that terribly

*the 5 of you burst out laughing at jungwons poor word choice. within this time giselle walks back in, closing the door slightly. the mics can’t pick it up but riki mouths “im sorry” to her. causing her to shake her head and smile. “it’s good” she mouths back making him smile back.*

jungwon: what i mean to say is that you’re more confident now. not just about yourself but your videos too. i’m glad to see this change in you

yn: thank you won, it means a lot

jungwon: of course

giselle: well this was certainly an episode

yn: one of us always ends up crying

sunoo: that sadist probably likes it too

jungwon: woah? the term isn’t sadist

*the rest of you laugh*

sunoo: let’s have a group hug! everyone up on your feet

*sunoo stands up, kat and giselle following suit. you and jungwon stand up and riki groans, then reluctantly stands up. the 6 of you huddle around one another and go for a group hug. the mics can’t pick up your voices but the recording has slight shuffling and giggles from you 6. after a couple seconds you pull apart and sit back down in your respective seats.*

giselle: i love you guys

kat: me too

sunoo: me three

jungwon: me four

yn: me five

*everyone looks at riki who only rolls his eyes*

riki: me six..

jungwon: well guys hope you enjoyed your stay in yap central we hope you didn’t cry too much. i have been your host jungwon and please make sure to check out our links in this description and like, share, subscribe, and comment! till next time!!

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » lol UMMMMMMM sorry guys i didnt realize how long it had been without an update WE ARE SO BACK THO

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping @kittykangz @hyuckies18 @seungwaitamin @taehyunnzly @luvvhaerin @brii-sunwoos-version @won4kiss @cheridiaries @dissoc1ating @mimismenu @heelovesmeknot @cherryrikis @onlyjungchan @getoxo @enhaz1 @hoshipills @tocupid @xxxnrigi @rairaiblog @dimplewonie @hoonics @vmpivory @lisaswifey @gweoriz @jjhyn @heegyuwrld @dollydigital

bold cannot be tagged

[shij-ko0]

Alright I realise I should probably yap more about my interpretation of the pink corruption™️

So… what does corruption do?

When a shape gets corrupted, their emotions intensify, becoming more unstable and intense. It usually comes out from what the shape was originally struggling/have problems with. For example, if they have anger issues, the emotion “anger” would become much greater— they will become more violet, aggressive and hotheaded. It goes the same way for guilt, pride, envy, apathy etc. Additionally, any negative traits the shape has would be further intensified, making them more difficult to deal with. From this, you could say that corruption really brings out the worst in an individual, making them an “evil” version of themselves.

Of course, let’s not forget the body mutations corruption can cause… when a shape gets corrupted, they would get a range of mutations, such as:

-spikes growing all over their body

-Additional limbs

-A more animalistic/skewed appearance

-A more enhanced version of their abilities

-New features that weren’t there before

etc.

Can we get along with Corrupted people?

I mean, you can. However it would take time— especially when a shape has been freshly corrupted. Shapes that have been corrupted for a while have managed to keep their mental state and abilities on check, but fresh corrupteds? You can bet that they’re a lot more erratic, and very unstable. It puts a lot of stress on them, abilities can be explosive due to the body being unable to take the pink energy, causing great damage to anything around them. A good example for that is Cube.

Shapes that have been corrupted for a period of time are more calmer, able to have a clearer thought process and have better control over their powers. While they might be easier to negotiate or become allies with, they would be more rigid and harder to outsmart. In fact, they can be manipulative, intelligent and be outright evil, even— making them much harder to trust.

Examples of shapes that have been corrupted for a while: Try This, Ying(oc), Lycan(kind of) and etc…

Do Pure-born pink shapes exist?

I……. Honestly have no idea. I’m still figuring that out tbh- I remember reading an au, where that in their interpretation, corruption occurs when a shape gains enough power from the tree or smth, causing their colour to go haywire, which is what happened with Blixer… I think it makes sense! I like the idea, but I’m not going to steal it ofc.

Shapes that fit this classification are: Blixer, Barracuda, and Macabre.

Blixer? Most likely.

Cuda? I feel like he is one as well.

Macabre is a special case, though— she’s more of the Paradise’s version of a grim reaper. She’s kind of like a deity class shape, like the tree…

What happens when shapes get purified?

Well when shapes get purified, they revert back to their original self! It’s easy to uncorrupt someone, just feed them the tree’s essence(aka those small triangles you see in the level) and they’ll be back to normal in a bit. However, you’d have to force them first, which is easier said than done… Anyways, that’s what normally happens. However, there’s just one thing—

There’s a chance for a shape to be not fully purified.

It’s a rather special case, and the chance of it happening is uncommon. It occurs if the energy of the triangle is not enough to cure the corruption completely, causing remnants of corrupted energy to remain in the shape’s core. This is called being partially corrupted! Usually it could be “hard” to tell whether a shape is partially corrupted as they don’t feel any symptoms for the first few hours, but a tell-tale sign is the pink splotches on their body. Later on, the shape would report feeling weaker and more drained. This is because the corruption remnants are eating away at their energy.

As corruption creates a more evil-version of a shape manifested in physical form… being partially corrupted grants that as well. Instead, the corruption takes form as an “alter ego” in their head. The alter ego would torment its host, mocking, bullying and making fun of them, wearing down the host’s mind until it is weak enough for it to fully take over. When that occurs, the partial corrupted becomes a fully corrupted.

When the alter ego forms, the host would experience a multitude of things:

-Seeing hallucinations of their corrupted self, usually in mirrors or reflective surfaces.

-Hearing voices in their head, mainly from their corrupted self trying to speak to them.

-Feeling more weak, tired, and worn down. They might experience headaches, body pains and appetite issues.

While having an alter ego may be exhausting, it is possible for the host to make peace with their corrupted self. In some cases, when able to work together with their alter ego, more experienced individuals are able to utilise it to their advantage. For instance, they could let their corrupted self take over when needed for a greater advantage in battles, then regain control after. Additionally, partially corrupted shapes are given access to their corrupted abilities, although it may be a more weakened version of them.

Anyways, yeah. The more you know about corruption in my au!

[iwantacoolusernameman]

Akaashi Keiji x Fem!Reader

★ Starry Night ★

You didn't plan on standing infront of his dorm room this late at night but here you are anyway. A little hesitant you knock and one of his roommates opens the door.

"Is-" you start but the guy at the door doesn't give you a second second of his attention. Without even giving you a hello, he looks back over his shoulder to call for Akaashi. What other reason would there be for you to show up here after all? You hear the way the loud room quiets into snickering as soon as Akaashi's name falls and your voice reaches the curious ears inside, and when your dark haired friend shows at the door seconds later, his roommate disappears back into the room but not before flashing a knowing smirk to the both of you.

"Are you busy right now?" You ask Akaashi but don't wait for an answer. "Put on a jacket, let's go outside for a bit." It's not a demand but a request.

And what was he gonna do? Say no? To you? Of course not. The boy is smitten with you. The guys in his dorm would occasionally make fun of him, calling him your lapdog. Not that you knew anything about any of that.

Akaashi sighs and disappears back into the room, leaving the door ajar. As he's grabbing a hoodie to throw over his t-shirt, the roomate from earlier reappears at the door, leaning casually against the frame with his arms crossed and a smug grin. "Taking our pal for a late night date?" He teases you.

"Ignore him." Akaashi walks past his friend before you can even process the question and walks out into the hallway next to you, pulling the collar of his hoodie over his head and adjusting his glasses.

"Let's go," he says, tugging at your arm , already walking you away from the room, not sparing his smirking roommate a single glance or saying bye.

"Have fun you two!" His roommate calls after you as you're walking down the hallway. Once you're out of sight Akaashi glances over to you.

"It's ok to tell him to shut his mouth if he makes you uncomfortable y/n," he tells you while opening the door that leads you two out of the building.

"It's fine. I wasn't uncomfortable," you reassure him as the cool but comfortable night air hits your face.

He nods subtly. "Where are we going by the way?"

"Just walking around. I just wanted to see you. No, actually.. there's something I've been meaning to tell you." The words roll off your tongue so casually as if you're talking about the weather, not like you've been nervously staring at your own reflection for the past ten minutes in your bathroom mirror, trying to come up with the perfect phrasing to confess until you decided fuck it.

He's focused on listening intently on what you're about to tell him but you don't say a word and he doesn't push you to say anything either. So you just walk for a bit in that silence, accompanied by the sound of your footsteps, until you reach a well known place to the both of you. The ground is covered in grass and a few bushes give you a bit of cover from any curious windows that might be looking outside.

There you sit down and pat the grass beneath you. Akaashi doesn't has to be asked twice before sitting down next to you with his legs crossed. His fingers start plucking the grass beneath him as he waits for you to continue. He doesn't say much but you can tell he's wondering, curious why you called him out this late. Not that it was the first time but usually you'd have a reason. Like, I've had a stressful day, can we walk for a bit? Or I couldn't sleep, wanna get some fresh air with me? Or Listen to this! Followed by at least 20 minutes of you yapping non stop about whatever had happened during your classes that day and what was on your mind. He didn't mind. Listening to you didn't tire him.

But today's reason was There's something I wanna tell you in that casual yet serious tone which was a bit weird, considering it came from you, who was normally more direct with your words, saying what's on your mind right there and then without dragging it out.

But you still don't continue and Akaashi's curiosity only grows. He wants to ask you again but right when he opens his mouth to do that, you let out a sigh and lay down on the grass, the back of your head softly kissing the ground. He shuts his mouth and his confused expression lingers on you for a little while before he eventually lays down beside you.

"Why are we laying down?" He asks as you're both staring up at the twinkling stars above.

"Why not?" You question back. "Maybe I wanted to watch the stars with you. Mission success," you joke but it's not really a joke. His heart starts to beat a little faster when he hears your words.

Maybe I wanted to watch the stars with you.

"You're a sap," he tells you quietly.

"I know deep down you're a sap too," you reply while turning your head to the side, only to find him already looking at you. A satisfied smile creeps onto your lips at the sight.

"Point proven," you whisper and see how he returns your smile when he realizes he got caught staring at you starry eyed. Instead of answering he props himself up on his side and looks down on you, his glasses sliding down a little bit as he does so, and you have to resist the urge to reach your hand up and caress his cheek.

"There was something you wanted to tell me," he reminds you and pushes his glasses back up.

"I like you." There, you said it. All that walking back and forth in your room, trying to find the right words to not make a fool of yourself feels so silly to you now.

He just keeps staring at you but you can't read his expression. And you don't want to read his expression, you just want him to tell you he feels the same.

"No, let me rephrase that.." you start again. "I have feelings for you."

"I heard you the first time," he tells you softly.

"Why aren't you saying anything then?" You wonder.

"I'm thinking."

You scoff. "What's there to think about? Either you like me too or you don't."

"I do but.. what if-"

"Don't think about things that haven't happened yet. If you feel the same right now, that's enough for me."

"I do," he repeats himself, with more certainty this time, and you finally allow yourself to place your hand on his cheek. The sudden touch of your cold fingertips on his hot cheek make him slightly flinch at first and momentarily you think of pulling away, wondering if you've acted too rash but soon enough he closes his eyes and melts into your touch.

"Your roommates know too, don't they?" You ask him, recalling their more and more often recurring teasing over the past few months.

He hums in approval.

"They figured it out themselves tough. I never affirmed their suspicions."

"Affirmed their suspicions," you make fun of his choice of words, unable to hold back a chuckle. "What is this, a detective novel?"

He opens his eyes and smiles softly at your teasing. You're really the only one he'll let get away with acting that way towards him. No eyerolls or sassy remarks. No, not you.

"What was your plan if I didn't feel the same?" He wants to know, searching for a genuine answer in your eyes.

"I didn't think that far," you admit seriously at first but then continue in a half joking manner. "I guess I would've told you it's fine and then let it eat me up inside silently and we would have grown apart because it would be too painful for me to be around you so I'd distance myself and I'd cry to 'The One That Got Away' by Katy Perry."

"A sap and a hopeless case then," he concludes and a giggle bursts from your lips.

"Your sap and hopeless case now... if that's what you want of course." There's a hint of uncertainty in your bold statement. It's almost a question and he takes notice how your smile hides a nervousness you're trying to conceal.

His hand reaches down on your face, his thumb gliding over the bridge of your nose, your eyebrow and eventually lands on your cheek.

"Would you like to be my sap and hopeless case?" He asks with the tiniest bit of playfullness in his fond voice.

"I'd like to be your girlfriend," you say, the relief crystal clear in your voice now, "if that's the same as being a sap and hopeless case to you."

"It is," he reassures you and you close your eyes, tilting your head into his palm.

"Sorry for making you come out this late," you apologize. "I don't mind if you wanna go back to your room now."

He doesn't reply right away and you're not sure if he's lost in thought or just doesn't wants to go back just yet. You certainly know that you don't want to go back just yet.

"There's something I'd like to do actually," he finally says, "before we go back."

"What is it?" Your eyes open and look at him with curiousity.

"Can I kiss you?" His hopeful eyes look at you with anticipation and you notice the way he seems to be holding his breath.

A swarm of butterflies spread from your belly all the way up to your chest at his unexptected question and you immediatly prop yourself up on your elbows, causing him to slightly lean back up as well. Your answer comes in the form of a hesitant nod.

"I've never kissed anyone before though," you tell him.

"Me neither," he admits as his thumb keeps gently caressing your flushed cheek, "if that makes you feel any better."

"Don't mess it up then," you warn him jokingly. He just gives you another small smile before his gaze falls onto your lips. As he's leaning in, you immediatly close your eyes and feel your heart start to race faster and faster. Before you even have the chance to think about what to do his lips are already melting with yours, soft and warm unlike the cool air that chapped your lips, and you realize you don't even have to think as you kiss him back. The frames of his black glasses press against your face and it feels like you're returning to something you forgot brings you so much joy. It's new and exciting but with a sense of safe familiarity. Like this is just right and there's nothing but you two that exist in that moment, at least in your mind. He pulls away rather quickly but you don't mind, you just can't help but wonder if he felt the same way yet the words stay on your tongue. His gaze meets yours and you feel truly tongue tied for the first time in your life.

"So this is how to shut you up," he jokes, the smile on his lips matching the shine in his eyes. Or maybe you're just feeling so love struck that everything about him is shining in that moment. The twinkling stars above couldn't even compare.

Your own lips turn into a smile as you slowly start to come back to your surroundings and find your words.

"Oh, come on," you place your palm on his hand and gently press it against your cheek while simultaniously pressing your cheek against his hot palm. "I know you love my yapping."

"I do," he confesses and you watch him silently while he adjusts his glasses with his free hand.

"Shall we go back?" He asks you, sliding his hand out from inbetween your palm and cheek to stand up and holds it out help you up.

You take his hand without hesitation, allowing him to pull you up on your feet and neither of you let go of the other as you start making your way back.

"Akaashi," you say as you enter the building.

"Did you finish the book you borrowed from me by the way? It's been quite a while since I've seen it."

"Right, sorry I kept it so long," he sounds a little apologetic but you can't really be mad at him anyway. "I finished it the other day. I can give it back to you now."

"Something tells me the boys are gonna tease you bad tonight if we show up like this," you chuckle, slightly swinging your hands back and forth as you're walking down the hallway.

"I don't care," he says while interlacing your fingers. "They've been doing it all this time anyway."

"So you're saying it's finally time to affirm their suspicions then?" You ask, amusement dancing in your voice.

He looks at you with that soft smile and those starry eyes of his.

"You know it."

[kwassants]

Writers yap May 1, 2025

Thought I'd write about TSS again!

In case some of you are wondering: what creative choices I made about it, etc: Mild Spoilers Ahead (v mild idt there are actual spoilers in here tbh)

"I'm manhwa only and I'm craaaving more of Ludger's hilarious internal monologue and snarky remarks. I also wanted him to do more teaching because his school interactions made me happiest. I also wanted to challenge myself: can I make a romance for a character like him? It never felt right to me for the AUP canon to have romance, and I thought about what kind of enigma she'd have to be to match Ludger equally. What kind of character interactions would they have? What about their character arcs? How do I make it realistic? How do I make it enjoyable for people?

Anyway, I ramble because I got excited over writing this. I plan on writing more chapters."

Tags: ROMANCE, Comedy, Fluff, Smut (very consensual, very healthy)

Okay first of all let me get this out of the way: the plot was non-existent at first it was supposed to be episodic aka a colelction of oneshots that had a slow moving plot.

The first few episodes was for Ludger simping cause I thought, oh, it might make them stick around enough to like my OC LMAO cause I didn't know if people would like her at the time.

And I originally planned this to be like 25 chapters max.

(I am currently writing 60 and I don't think we're halfway yet) THE PLOT HAS EXPANDED.

Like… there is a whole ton of worldbuilding???

Some creative choices:

I decided to make them friends from the start of the fic, and have them start as liking each other already (flirting. Ik, might be weird for some to imagine) and then the backstory comes later (otherwise it'd be boring???) but yeah it'll eventually get revealed.

There is a whole chapter 1 dedicated to why i wrote the work lol that was the initial thesis which is an expanded version of what I said about the fic above.

It was supposed to be slice of life but then my brain really latched on to the idea of "I made this fic because I really want Ludger to heal from trauma but if I just made him go to therapy then I'd have no plot" and Ludger is NOT emotionally intelligent enough to like find his healing via found family imo, so I think there needs to be an external force aka another person who is more emotionally intelligent to make the pairing work.

I deliberately decided to make the FL have trauma too — because I'm really passionate about writing character-centric stories and I wanted to respect the entire healing process like healing isn't linear, and I wanted to focus on really making a healthy relationship BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS WE NEED IT what with Ludger's baggage??? so I thought hmm if she had her own trauma you know, her own skeletons she'd understand him more etc.

ik I said I'd have him interact with students more but that's mostly concentrated on the earlier chapters BUT I am moving towards that again. In Season 2 there are more characters involved! and yes i plan on adding more student interactions!

I didn't plan this lmao but lots of side characters get more lore too, like Merylda is pirate-coded my hc is that she was an adventurer and she's the big sis type of character. Selina is the innocent one but Esmeralda is still in her somewhere. Chris Benimore gets a more compelling redemption arc. Even the Chancellor gets a bit more lore.

Going back to Ludger and OC — I wanted the power imbalance to be minimized to reduce the icky — and it was important to me for them to be equals intellectually (cause like how do you even equal Ludger when it comes to magic??? lmao) and it made sense since it's an academy setting so it's actually like kinda dark academia-y?

There is a whole-ass bigger plot than what's currently written BUT there's a LOT of foreshadowing.

About the FL

(this is the updated version but the Chapter 1 also has it)

I made it a very big point to not make her a mary sue like it was very important for me that she isn't a self-insert.

She teaches Botany/Potions!

She's an Imperial Scholar! (think, national scientist kinda title) so it's like their intellect jives well together

eventually, they will do dumb things together that will make people think they share exactly 1 (one) brain cell

She wears a monocle. (my hc is that when she finds out that Ludger is James Moriarty, she will tease him that he got the idea from her)

She banters back! She is not a shy FL you'll see it by Chapter 3 LMAO??? (I personally find it weird when grown adults kinda shirk away from R18 topics? But it might also just be my desire to portray realistic human relationships so yeah.)

Not in the chapter 1 intro: She has trauma too, and she also has secrets which will slowly be unraveled! and Ludger's secrets will slowly be unraveled to her too.

Why you might not like it:

Heavy topics are discussed. But I swear to the stars (and if you see some of my author's notes on here at tumblr and if you see how i work etc you will see that I try my best to think about the story deeply and since my entire thesis is trauma/healing (BUT WITH COMEDY a lot of that and fluff too) and therefore they are treated with the utmost care and sensitivity.

Slow burn, but not a crawl, but it's LONG I personally do not read a whole lot BUT a lot of people like long fics apparently so this might be a win.

There is smut. Highly consensual. Healthy. And most importantly, plot relevant (Ik, porn with plot, who would've thought—) But still, smut.

and some people might not be into that although i try to heavily tag my work you CAN skip over those though

I said I wanted him to talk to students more but I realized in the middle that wasn't the main focus (because romance and I was trying to build the foundations of the relationships and the characters put me on a chokehold and ran away with the plot) they will be featured more prominently eventually though! (Season 2, after setting the groundwork in Season 1, has more characters fleshed out)

I feel like it really diverged from the original plan of like "lets just keep it comedic and light" cause it got deeper into things and IDK if that's a minus in your book but yeah ig just, CW apply

Now that that's out of the way (I figured I'd do people a favor if some of these things will turn them off from the work so I wouldn't waste their time)—

Here's why you might like it:

I, the author, am a freaking gremlin I WILL DEF RESPOND TO YOUR COMMENTS IF YOU WANT ME TO no comment is too small i go feral for a single "<3" because it means so much that you're reading my writing like wow??? you gave my silly blorbos some of your time in this economy???

I genuinely think it's funny dksajdnksajnda and cute and wholesome like yes ik i did say it talks about heavy stuff for a reason BUT its not trauma porn and like I try to balance it and I LOVE THEIR SNARK OK. Like I'm not into Ludger x Casey at all but I do appreciate their banter mostly because she's the only one female who banters with him??? anyway i love banter and snark

They actually have lives outside of the romance.

Click for the plot, stay for the characters.

Platonic friendships! Hobbies! Things that say their lives don't revolve around each other!

They're both nerds. We get nerdy Ludger dkajndaksjdnsa!!!

The emotional payoff is amazing imo if you can stick w/ it.

Smut.

Ludger Cherish.

Worldbuilding on a romance fic lmao we get original worldbuilding and added/expanded lore?

It's THE longest fic of the fandom by like idk 3 times??? LMAO i am COMMITTED to seeing this story through ! ! → so yeah if you like reading a lot, there you go sksksk

The relationship is very healthy.

Since I am a cryptid and I like to plan my story, there's a LOT of foreshadowing and easter eggs and callbacks it rewards those who like to re-read (totally optional. But also, HOPEFULLY when things start exploding in the plot it'll all make sense)

Some feedback I've gotten is that the characters are very well developed! I think that's the biggest strength of the work, too. I spend a lot of time on the characters and their interactions and dialogue and just how they bounce off of each other (and not just Ludger and the OC I mean everyone.)

I COULD YAP MORE BUT UHHH maybe i should stop for now

[shiny-jr]

Hi Shiny! I’m not new to your blog but I have been reading up on the works I’ve missed since I haven’t been the most active on tumblr for like, a solid year, (possibly more?) and I forgot just how amazing your writing is; you are definitely one of my favorite writers, and I greatly enjoy every one of your works.

That’s why- as a reader who really wants to get into writing- I would love to hear what stands to be your biggest inspirations, and especially what media (whether it books, songs, films, etc.) has influenced your writing. I’ve been looking to develop my writing style by taking in the works of others, so any recommendations are appreciated!

Welcome back, anon! Let me see what I can think of off the top of my head.

As I sit here, the first thing I thought of is vocabulary. I think having a good VOCABULARY is key to making a good story, especially when it comes to the flow. I grew up reading a lot, and recently, I began reading more again just books and articles. Through that process, it's easy to learn words, see a new one, and look it up. You might remember said words and use them later.

I've actually been told that I speak kinda eloquently at certain times, like in a professional-business like way, which I totally don't mean to. But yeah, I digress, vocabulary is very important. I'll give you an example.

I started writing this chapter for a new series, and it was late at night, and my heart wasn't really in it. When I reviewed it, I immediately hated it. Why? Because of the vocabulary. It was all simple words, repetitive, and without any variety. I'm not saying your vocabulary has to be great or anything, but when I write, I always have a site called wordhippo open. Just for when I can't remember a specific word or I'm looking for a synonym to change things up and prevent that annoying repetitiveness.

CHARACTERIZATION is also a huge deal. Writing for characters that are not yours is not easy. It's difficult. One thing I do is if I'm not sure about a character's decisions, actions, dialogue, is I look for reference points from what they're from. Voicelines, art, anything helps. If its lacking, I try to think of another character they're similar to and ask myself what would this other character do? Would it be the same as the first character? That usually helps.

Of course, this includes character development and conflicts and relationships and such. I think some of the best characters I've ever seen in media, are from the animated Avatar: The Last Airbender. That series has such solid personalities, variety within the cast, good interesting conflicts, and one of the best character development arcs in modern day animated media.

As for songs, I usually just listen to instrumental songs when writing. I found that lyrics tended to distract me, which is why I try to avoid it when writing. No series or novels come to mind immediately, although I do write personal reviews for those I read. Most of which is either praise or criticizing (mostly criticizing) the writing style of the author, the characters, or the plot. I'm glad to share some of those, but I've written a good number of them and they're lengthy, just me yapping.

Anyways, that's a lot. I'm not sure if I answered your question as you wanted? I hope I did. Let me know if there's anything else.

[bredforloyalty]

what were u studying? and why did you quit if it’s not too personal

of course it's not too personal! (this is my blog where i yap hdsgvy and i'm just touched anyone even asks)

short version is it made me want to off myself so i stopped / i stopped studying psychology because of my psychological problems ahaha and also i didn't want it all that much to begin with, and also i might have some problems with studying itself (some kind of brain problem), and also the circumstances because i'm back at home and it's not good, and also i'd just rather work and focus on anything else other than a "career" now. i don't want assignments i want something to do with my hands and people to see. i want to enjoy things again. and not have this hanging over my head

longer version: i was doing a psychology bachelor's, i had one course—a research project—to go and the final exam after that. this was my third time with this subject, because, well there are three types of research projects we have to do and the essay type was fine (no data, no stats, just theory), then the questionnaire research i failed in the 4th semester. 5th semester i tried to do both the questionnaire and the experiment research projects (both requiring like actual collection of data) and could only finish the one i had begun before, bc i didn't have to do a wholly different one of the same kind of questionnaire research, i could just pick up the one i had before. these are ~15 page scientific papers by the way, title page and sources and all not included. so i finished that, but i had to ask for an extension and then ANOTHER extension. and i cried most days. it was bad. i got a 5 (A). at this time i was still living in another city, where the campus is, away from home, and this helped, that i was alone in my apartment And i had a friend talking me through the whole process (!!). and it was easier research than the ones that would come after, genuinely. 6th semester (last one), you're not really supposed to do research, because if you want to graduate w everyone else, you have to hand it in about 2 months into the semester, because you have to compile all your research into a portfolio and upload it, so they'll let you take the final exam during the exam period of that semester

now, the first problem was i couldn't do it in 2 months, so i was gonna do the final exam and get the diploma next semester, so a whole summer later. and i moved back home. this freaked out my mother big time. i'll never forget the 3 hours in the car on our way back from the apartment, after we packed up. she was vicious. anyway not only did i not hand in my portfolio, i just couldn't finish the paper. worked a little over the summer, i tried again with new research this september, traveled there and back in the same day (mondays) to talk to the consultant. i finally got a student job, it was and is sooo important to me because i like the environment and the people there are actually normal. and treat me like a person. i was always told and i feared that i'd never get a job or i'd be fired because i'm stupid and incompetent and i can't handle a "real" job (→ i had to study and do something intellectual) and this was not the case.. all of my fears were unfounded actually everything is okay there and i'm not an unpleasant person that customers avoid. in fact i'm pleasant. and i get on well with everyone there. i really like making coffee, i'm kind of looking for a full-time barista job or something similar right now

um. for context my dad does physical work and my mom is white collar. they're getting a divorce now, both just unhappy people, my dad's a misogynist they really hate each other he's hurt my mom a lot. etc. my mom really really really wanted me to get a diploma, she thinks the only reason i would opt out is laziness and a general disinterest for all useful things in life (i think this is related, she wants me to have a better life than dad and to be a different, better person). i couldn't stand her breathing down my neck. two days ago she checked on me SEVEN times during the day, asking if i'm studying (i wasn't btw). my home life is frequently awful even without the added stress of studying, i just couldn't do it anymore. i never even liked studying, it made me miserable most of the time, to have things that i Must do by a certain deadline. some lectures/seminars were fun and stimulating and some weren't, some schools of thought i'm really interested in and others i think are horseshit, this is normal stuff. still, i didn't really find my place within psychology ? and anyway, if i decided i wanted to be a child therapist or a family therapist or work in adoption, it's a looong road there.

if i can only do a 15 page research paper with several extensions and while using up all of my energy to deal with the personal/mental health crisis that is "important project", Without actually ever dealing and resolving this crisis (because, i did try again and again and the same crisis would set in every time), the master's degree is just out of the question. psych BA is half a degree, it's useless in this country without the master's. except for being able to say "i have a degree", it's good for that, some employers ask for only that. and there are certain MAs you can do with a psych BA that aren't psych so of course it wouldn't have been useless. but that's just not reason enough to keep doing this, y'know? it was painful and destabilizing, i couldn't let go of this idea that my academic success or my output or my work is what i'm worth. intellectually, personally. so if i don't do well, i'm dumb or i can't think in complex concepts or my. executive functions are just subpar and i'll never make it in fields that require any studying at all (ofc as i saw it, this last thing would still be my fault because i should've learned to study better and should've worked on my attention span and should've just Wanted it harder and learned to stick with things, and learned to do stuff i don't want to do, or that i don't enjoy doing).

this was untenable, i worked myself into these states, my family couldn't deal with me or help me either. but the main reason i've decided to quit uni (for now; for at least a year i'm quitting and then i'll see if i resume the program) is i want to do something on my own terms. and not be obligated to finish this for my mother, or to be the kind of person she requires me to be. i can't be that person. i'm my own person. as long as i live here and i'm studying (and failing and trying again and failing and-), i can't be my own person. if i finish this program, it has to be because i'm in a better place and ideally getting more support and because i really want it. and it's my thing. currently uni isn't my thing, it's my mother's thing... so yeah i'm much happier now that i've let go of this, and promised myself i'd do what i can to be financially stable (somewhat) and to move out!

[steamworksfairy]

here to confess I'm actually EXCITEDLY waiting for your dialovers oc.... maybe...maybe info drop...for me...for poor pathetic meee??????????????

Of course! I always have a few scraps to share <3 And for dl in general, a lot actually since I'm in the redesign and development stage depending for these guys.

So these guys are the Tsukino brothers (not intentionally named after Sailor Moon but it's hilarious how that somehow happened.) This goes from oldest to youngest so: on the top left is Shiori, the next to him is Yoru. Below Shiori is Aoi and next to Aoi is Tsubaki. A few fun facts: -They were all made to be "playable" love interests for Yui. And I do plan to give each one a "route" at some point.

-Despite being the youngest, Tsubaki is my fist dia lovers oc. Because of that he technically has the most art, however, because its all stuff I made back in high school, its all lost to time. - He has a very warm golden retriever-like personality but develops a darker/yandere side later on in the story line. His bad ends are where you see the worst of it <3

-He's sort of friends with Shin? Tbh they both just argue about whose brother(s) are the best.

-His hobbies include drawing and painting

-His dad is trying to kill him. I'll leave the reason why for his official reveal. Gotta let him have some mystery

-Aoi is the second of the brothers to have the most art, but its all lost (a common theme lmao)

-He's the shortest brother and is the tsundere of the group.

-He loves power in the physical sense and is very drawn to things that represent that. For example, things like tigers, dragons, lions, fire, lightning, and even flowers that symbolize strength and power are all things he thinks of as cool.

-He knows martial arts and actively participates in school's martial arts club

-Yoru and Aoi are both twins

-Above is Yoru's first art. To my greatest shame, he was the only brother to have never gotten art back then

-He's personality is a lot like a cat. He's pretty prickly and tends to lurk in the shadows until he gets used to someone's presence.

-He's considered the smartest of the four brothers and has the best grades of all of them.

-Shiori has one more piece of art other than the above, but it's also lost. And tbh it wasn't that faithful anyways because he had short hair instead of long. (I couldn't draw long hair back then)

-The oldest and leader of the Tsukino brothers.

-To outsiders, he's a bit vain and kind of air head but otherwise is pleasant to be around. However, he's actually quite cunning, manipulative, and good at quickly turning dicey situations in his favor.

-He values beauty and is considered to be the prettiest of the Tsukino brothers

-He also sometimes crosses dresses

I also began doodling a potential idea for my self insert. It's super early in the design process and already I want to change a few things like the moon pendent to either a firefly or else a moth. So she's a bit rough rn and won't be the finished product. A few fun facts:

-She takes inspirations from my favorite fairy tale, Sleeping Beauty.

-She has both a night and day version which I'm thinking will be represented via firefly or moth and butterfly or dragonfly. The night version is what Yui and the others are most familiar with, while so far only Ruki has met the day version and he's only done so in his dreams.

-She's 100% going to be a fairy

-Her main ship would be with Ruki (tho I might do a few aus/what if ships if an idea strikes) and she'd be besties with Yui and another oc I have, Rina.

-She's technically a villain <3

-

As for Rina...I don't have any pictures of her currently, but I can yap about my baby girl <3 -She's a vampire hunter

-She comes from an old and rich family that works apart of a group of hunters that actually oppose the group Yui's father is a part of

-She becomes fast friends with Yui and Fae, swearing to save Yui from the vampires and kill them all, but ends up apart of all the drama and schemes

-She has a hit list with all the vampires, Reiji being the first one on the list <3 (to her great displeasure she often has to put it on hold tho)

-Her hobbies include shopping with her besties, researching ways to defend against and kill supernatural creatures, and threatening Reiji with knife

-Her main ship is with Reiji enemies to loves <3

[snobgoblin]

Soooooooo... saw you exploring the concept of "who knows about Danny's patron" once more

and connecting back to my lucio's reaction ask [here], I thought about how all the M6 would react to that knowledge

I'm also gonna link you talking about this and this bc i feel like it's related :3

THANK YOU FOR LINKING i really appreciate that a lot ill also link this one that I've posted since I got this ask

ok so I'm gonna list them and explain when they figure it out and how they react to it then (i am eepy so sorry if this seems disjointed but hey we don't choose when the spark comes do we AND I might redo these later if I think of more well thought out answers later)

Asra

They definitely had their suspicions after he was able to break those chains and bind The Devil but it didn't truly click with him until Danny got his familiar. then he was just kind of like... ohhh. okay that makes sense. he doesnt see it as a negative thing, he's very open minded- especially when it comes to magic and its mysterious ways. basically just... gestures at this fic. it's something he knows quite a bit before Danny does but he lets him figure it out himself, and theyre patient with him because they understand it must be hard to learn you're associated with the guy that quite literally tried to fuck everything up. they do actually see it as a positive thing. like, a challenge in his perspective which he always enjoys, if that makes any sense. in conclusion it doesn't put him off in the slightest even though Danny thinks it really should

Nadia

its hard to say because it's not something she's necessarily looking for. she's a smart lady! she just doesn't have the familiarity with Tarot that say, Asra does, so she doesn't necessarily have the knowledge to put it together besides the card games she would play with her sisters as a kid- and even then that was a completely different deck. that being said her intuition game is insane so she has a *feeling*. you know. she knows there's more to him than there appears to be but I don't think it'd click until he came to her with that information. and- something to note is Danny's associations with this card- well they aren't great. he's only an apprentice after all and he doesn't quite get the nuances completely yet. he has very black and white thinking at times. so he himself takes this as a very negative thing- especially considering everything The Devil has done to everyone. so he's kind of a nervous wreck telling her this but he trusts her and feels like she should know. anyway how Nadia takes it is. kind of like "oh I just knew Lucio was too incompetent to be associated with him" like it makes a lot of sense to her. Danny's smart! so was The Devil. Lucio is well... Lucio. Nadia would also have quite a bit of wisdom about it I think. she really kind of grounds him in that way when he's torn up over it I guess. she's just kind of like "well. destiny is a nice thought but you do have free will so dont worry about this meaning youre secretly evil. youre just Danny and you always will be" i think she's said things in a similar vain before. ALSO ALSO her choice for his masquerade outfit ended up making more sense in hindsight. she does have a feel for these things sometimes without realizing it... like giving Lucio a dog mask. I feel like I did a whole lot of yapping and said a whole lot of nothing with this one. point is she takes it with grace and its not something she's worried about or shocked by

Julian

I'm struggling here because it's not a belief system he seems to be super invested in. sure he asks for a tarot reading in the prologue but he's always been more of a science guy and he quite literally doesn't know magic when he's staring it in the cauldron- so I don't know exactly how he would process this information? (as for how he learns- he's absolutely not figuring this out himself so Danny comes to him with this) and for the reason of confusion I feel like he'd take it the hardest. Danny's worried and Danny's a skilled magician, right? he really knows what hes talking about. so this has GOT to be bad, or he wouldn't be so worked up, right? and i mean, The Devil is the bad guy in so many fables. what's going to happen to him? is there any way they can stop it? should they just give up trying and stop worrying and give into their "true nature" (woohoo hanged man trait) whatever that means? he doesnt know. he doesnt know how this magic system works. he just tells Danny not to worry about it, just ignore it, but he does plenty of worrying for the both of them. walks on eggshells for a bit. keeps making accidental goat puns and putting his foot in his mouth. goes to Asra for advice. Asra tells him to chill the fuck out. you know how it is

Muriel

he's not... surprised when Danny comes to him. he's known for forever, because of his prophetic visions. he just gave up telling him because he always forgot anyway, and he didn't tell Asra because he didn't want them to take it the wrong way. but it's always something that made him... wary of Danny. he's had dreams of him absorbing The Devil's heart and taking over the world (vision of Lucios reversed end) and he's had visions of he and Asra being stranded in another dimension after making a deal with him (Asras reversed end) ...but he's also had visions of him sailing the world with Julian. or hell, even finding safety with Muriel himself. he's really wary because he doesn't quite know what to expect from him and it makes him nervous- not necessarily because he's The Devil, just, in general, but that association definitely doesn't put him at ease considering Lucio's obsession with him. Muriel hates goats because of it. but, when Danny comes to him he's just kind of like "I know" which catches him off guard and he's just kind of like "didn't see the point in telling you" which Danny's like okay fair, however-

Portia

oh she thinks it's so cool when Danny tells her. she already thought it was cool he came back from the dead (i believe the words she used were "zombie magician") and she treats it like one of her romance novels with the tortured and mysterious love interest. she's just like oh. well now you're even more charming. like a vampire. youre more complex now. WHICH IS NOT HOW DANNY THOUGHT SHED REACT. but she does think it's super cool (her only context for what The Devil is is, The Goat Guy so she sees it as like. you were supposed to be his henchman and then you weren't. if that makes sense) he insists that this isn't a good thing and she insists that he could literally murder someone and she would still love him (platonically or romantically!)

Lucio

JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS he really did identify with that card and he's devastated to learn it's not actually his and he got a "lame" card instead. but it does piss him off a lot because he hates being, what he perceives to be anything but "one of a kind" or "first place" at anything. why does he wanna be a card that sounds like such an insult when he could be a cool goat instead? it's no fair! he would call Arcana managers if he could but instead he settles for- depending on the route either chokes out a "congratulations" which surprises Danny or, if it's Lucio's route, he figures oh well if you can't be em date em. little does he realize just how special his own card is. because he's. well he's stupid. anyway he'd be lying if he said it didn't make him love Danny more

god I hope that makes sense it is 1 am LTDYDLLYDYRYL THIS WAS FUN THANK YOU

[beaversatemygrandma]

yapping, but let's be honest, more processing

Yeah. Last week's manic episode was something. I was talking to my coworker today, trying to see if there was anything she could tell me about thursday bc she was the only other one working my role that day and how I remember bits and pieces of it. She basically has no idea what anything awkward could be, bc i was apparently talking at the speed of light and disappeared for two whole hours to go walk and clean around the zoo. I vaguely remember doing that. I found out that the newly built bathrooms are single stall unisex ones and are the shy poopers' dream. It's just sadly on the exact opposite side of the zoo from my department which is lovely. No answers on the awkwardness with that one guy. So that's fun. I think i remember something about an ad getting filmed though and one of the other operators coming in and showing us the video he got of them teasing the fuck out of a gator to get it to bite the product they were advertising and nearly dragging the owner into the lagoon. The product survived. It's actually gator-proof. I don't know what this product is, but the last one that tried this failed and there were plastic bits of cooler in the lagoon. I think that was yeti. Those are not gator proof.

But the biggest processing is trying to understand my side piece's actions right now. Like yeah, he can take a little bit of crazy. That's proven. There's no reason he'd put up with his ex wife for that damn long if he couldn't take it. Either way, I left him be for two days. Just let the fear of him hating me for a manic episode simmer. Today I get a text saying that he can meet up with me between things and crack my back. I meet up with him. He does so (Honestly, a bit halfassed bc he was a little late and rushing and didn't even take his helmet off. Which I found slightly offputting and didn't go for the hug first as usual. Glad he's finally a bit safer on that damn thing though.) and then says that I should join him after his meeting at the audio repair place so we can finally get some answers. So I go off on a little errand i needed to do and about 20 minutes later, I get a "Oh nevermind." and a screenshot saying the place was closed. Nothing more. So, I ask if he has time anyways. Which honestly, assumed he would because he offered to go there. Well. No response. So I wait, assuming he looked at that during his meeting. Still nothing. I wait like a fucking HOUR. Nothing. I tried calling him bc i know that the meeting doesn't take that long. And nothing. So I give up once it hits the time where I'd usually start having to leave his place after work. So it's just??? What?? Why come out of the blue, offer that, give me NO Response to everything from over the weekend, and just ghost for the rest of the night? Like it's obvious you don't hate me. But why is this being avoided so damn hard? You go from somebody who's basically requesting my attention daily and now don't even return it when I'm trying to.

Not to mention that the conversation I wanted to have with him while manic was that I'd basically come to the conclusion that I actually DO like him and he's basically become my solid backup plan for whenever I do actually get the chance to leave my bf.

I might still be a little manic.

I'm just trying to figure out how to be normal about trying to get this guy to fucking talk to me though. He says like a total of two sentences to me and just nothing else. Then there's just wondering how the fuck this guy gets me to act like this. Yeah, sure, I like him, but it's been a whole damn struggle of rationalizing why i like him since I played with the idea of actually going for him. Is it so much to ask for a simple "Sorry, I'm needed for *insert thing here*." Hell, when I WAS doing the full blown manic thing I at least got a long winded explanation of some crazy shit that was going on. Now, I've got nothing. Not even a "gotta do school shit" or "parents needed help" I just want something. I just want to make sure I didn't fuck up. I also want to make sure that he didn't end up caught up in some bullshit that didn't need to happen.

Okay suddenly a response. Something about how he likes to think that it's him not letting his phone rule his life but he's irresponsible.

I hate this.

edit: oh, i just got a very honest text after asking frankly if he had a problem with me bc of last week. he doesn't. exact opposite actually.

...this is fine.

[agentrouka-blog]

@ ygritte hate post. In broad strokes, we agree Jon and Sansa are on parallel journeys, there is also plenty of parallels between Hound's sexual assault night with Jon and Ygritte (steel kiss, hand on face, and so on). (1/3)

Then Jon gets into it at the water pool, that is his "unkiss", no doubt. Notice though, the details about him getting riled up by sex red hair, she saying she is half-fish, debating fucking your own sister. I'm forgetting stuff of course. I'm sure that chapter is rife with that. (2/3)

Jonsa fans have speculated over Unkiss being a cover for another kiss (always with the cousins, the blood and fire cloak, and so forth). It could be that cave means much the same for him. Like said they are on parallel journeys and there's all those throwbacks to each other. (3/3)

So like Sansa, Jon is repressing something there. Something that happened in the winterfell pools. Bran remembers bathing with his sisters, but unlike Bran (who did saw OSHA getting out of one in that segment), Jon saw something that was a revelation. Like Florian when he saw Jonquil bathing with her sisters. Something red and then wanted to kiss, not downstairs but upstairs. Maybe he did... and maybe Ned caught him at it, because he later dreams of being caught there being innapropriate. (4/3)

In the dream he screams he will never father a abstard, he hates being one for they are lustful creatures born of lust and lies. Like lusting after their sisters. Its not like he is a Targaryen! Distraught, Jon decides to prove his nature wrong. He is not a deviant because he is a bastard lusting after his sister! So he decides to go to the Nights Watch, where he'll be chaste ever. Maybe. Kind of creepy but funny. It all comes together too, all those tidbits that are otherwise scattered. (5/3)

PS: Six maidens in the pool... Six Stark children. Not seven for once either way. And so Jon says in the show "we should have never left Winterfell" because it echoes the We shouldn't have left the cave. And Jon says they'll go back and Yggrite yaps You Know Nothing, but he was right. Jon will go back with the real redhead Sansa, back to Winterfell real pools. (6/3)

Thank you!! This ask really sent my brain whirring.

I already like the idea of the Unkiss drawing from a repressed memory, but I hadn’t noticed how the Ygritte memory-edit might interlock with that. 

We have this confirmation that they were fairly natural and relaxed about nudity among children:

"Might be there isn't." She grinned. "What are you staring at, boy? Never seen a woman before?"

"I have so." Bran had bathed with his sisters hundreds of times and he'd seen serving women in the hot pools too. Osha looked different, though, hard and sharp instead of soft and curvy. Her legs were all sinew, her breasts flat as two empty purses. "You've got a lot of scars." (ACOK, Bran II) 

Hundreds of times. We know Sansa associated hot water in a bath with Winterfell. 

The hot water made her think of Winterfell, and she took strength from that. She had not washed since the day her father died, and she was startled at how filthy the water became. (AGOT, Sansa VI)

So does Jon:

It was short walk to the bathhouse, where he took a cold plunge to wash the sweat off and soaked in a hot stone tub. The warmth took some of the ache from his muscles and made him think of Winterfell's muddy pools, steaming and bubbling in the godswood. Winterfell, he thought. (ASOS, Jon XII)

Then we have the image of the Water Gardens.

It was Daenerys who filled the gardens with laughing children. Her own children at the start, but later the sons and daughters of lords and landed knights were brought in to be companions to the boys and girls of princely blood. And one summer's day when it was scorching hot, she took pity on the children of her grooms and cooks and serving men and invited them to use the pools and fountains too, a tradition that has endured till this day." (…) 

As the children splashed in the pools, Daenerys watched from amongst the orange trees, and a realization came to her. She could not tell the highborn from the low. Naked, they were only children. All innocent, all vulnerable, all deserving of long life, love, protection. 

(ADWD, The Watcher)

And we know that the children of all ranks played together in the godswood, too. 

He had watched wistfully while the Walders contested with Turnip the cook's boy and Joseth's girls Bandy and Shyra. The Walders had decreed that Bran should be the judge and decide whether or not people had said "Mayhaps," but as soon as they started playing they forgot all about him.

The shouts and splashes soon drew others: Palla the kennel girl, Cayn's boy Calon, TomToo whose father Fat Tom had died with Bran's father at King's Landing. Before very long, every one of them was soaked and muddy. Palla was brown from head to heel, with moss in her hair, breathless from laughter. Bran had not heard so much laughing since the night the bloody raven came. (ACOK, Bran I)

It’s fair to conclude that the Jon and the Starklings may indeed have not just played but also bathed together in the godswood. 

There is an interesting association with Maidenpool, which is tied to the romance of Florian and Jonquil.

At Maidenpool, Lord Mooton's red salmon still flew above the castle on its hill, but the town walls were deserted, the gates smashed, half the homes and shops burned or plundered. They saw nothing living but a few feral dogs that went slinking away at the sound of their approach. The pool from which the town took its name, where legend said that Florian the Fool had first glimpsed Jonquil bathing with her sisters, was so choked with rotting corpses that the water had turned into a murky grey-green soup.

Jaime took one look and burst into song. "Six maids there were in a spring-fed pool . . ."

"What are you doing?" Brienne demanded.

"Singing. 'Six Maids in a Pool,' I'm sure you've heard it. And shy little maids they were, too. Rather like you. Though somewhat prettier, I'll warrant."

(ASOS, Jaime III)

Jonquil bathed with ther sisters, when Florian first glimpsed her.

The pool becomes filthy and spoiled. Like Sansa’s bathwater, but also like the muddy Winterfell pools. Choked with corpses?

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father's face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn't, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night's Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. "You know nothing, Jon Snow," she whispered, her skin dissolving in the hot water, the flesh beneath sloughing off her bones until only skull and skeleton remained, and the pool bubbled thick and red.  (ASOS, Jon VI)

The memory edit and the switch toward “love” in the cave is mirrored in this rather defiant dream, that recalls the pools at home, his father’s watching face, but also the laughter at home in the godswood. A pool in a sacred place spoiled with death. 

A memory spoiled by trauma.

Dany, who I would argue is a character strongly foreshadowed in Ygritte, has her own association with sacred pools.

They rode to the lake the Dothraki called the Womb of the World, surrounded by a fringe of reeds, its water still and calm. A thousand thousand years ago, Jhiqui told her, the first man had emerged from its depths, riding upon the back of the first horse.

The procession waited on the grassy shore as Dany stripped and let her soiled clothing fall to the ground. Naked, she stepped gingerly into the water. Irri said the lake had no bottom, but Dany felt soft mud squishing between her toes as she pushed through the tall reeds. The moon floated on the still black waters, shattering and re-forming as her ripples washed over it. Goose pimples rose on her pale skin as the coldness crept up her thighs and kissed her lower lips. The stallion's blood had dried on her hands and around her mouth. Dany cupped her fingers and lifted the sacred waters over her head, cleansing herself and the child inside her while the khal and the others looked on.  (AGOT, Daenerys V)

This recalls Ygritte in the pools and Sansa in her filthy bath. But the presence of the blood of a horse slaughtered for her to eat its heart, the presence of the Stallion that Mounts the World, the prophecy and the things we know comes after... all that is ominous and the kiss of the cold is unlikely to be tender. 

"When you find yourself in bed with an ugly woman, the best thing to do is close your eyes and get on with it," he declared. "Waiting won't make the maid any prettier. Kiss her and be done with it."

"Kiss her?" Ser Barristan repeated, aghast.

"A steel kiss," said Littlefinger. (AGOT, Eddard VIII)

or..

But the Dornishman's blade had a song of its own,

and a bite sharp and cold as a leech. (ASOS, Jon I)

or...

Then the steel was at her throat, and its bite was red and cold. (ASOS, Catelyn VII)

The layers in this… 

Anyway, there’s foreshadowing to Dany in the Ygritte mess, but it’s not exactly happy, while the Sansa connections in there tend to be positive. Sweet and foul all mixed up.

Sansa “remembering” the Unkiss in relation to kissing children (Margaery’s Girls, Sweetrobin) and with “awful” memories (Myranda’s wedding night)  has that same air of mixing something rotten with something that had been perhaps sweet but confusing. I.e. covering a traumatic event with something else. 

Then there’s another interesting association with the incest peach.

As she sat in the common room in her stupid girl clothes, Arya remembered what Syrio Forel had told her, the trick of looking and seeing what was there. When she looked, she saw more serving wenches than any inn could want, and most of them young and comely. And come evenfall, lots of men started coming and going at the Peach. They did not linger long in the common room, not even when Tom took out his woodharp and began to sing "Six Maids in a Pool." The wooden steps were old and steep, and creaked something fierce whenever one of the men took a girl upstairs. "I bet this is a brothel," she whispered to Gendry.

 (ASOS, Arya V)

Right after this they meet Gendry’s half-sister Bella, a “peach” at the Peach.

“I’m named Bella,” the girl told Gendry. “For the battle. I bet I could ring your bell, too. You want to?”

“No,” he said gruffly.

“I bet you do.” She ran a hand along his arm. “I don’t cost nothing to friends of Thoros and the lightning lord.”

“No, I said.” Gendry rose abruptly and stalked away from the table out into the night. 

Bella turned to Arya. “Don’t he like girls?”

While the bell recalls Dany, we should remember that 

Sansa plays “the high harp and the bells” (AGOT, Arya I) 

“Bella” translates to Beauty 

this scene is an unsubtle shout-out to Jon stalking out of the welcoming feast after Benjen teased him about fathering bastards and knowing a woman. After calling Sansa radiant. (AGOT, Jon I) 

So the Dany hints are joined by the Sansa hints. The Dany hints are negative (bells = battle), the Sansa ones positive (bells = music). Why are the Sansa hints there at all?

Before anyone goes “Jonrya!”, remember:

For half a heartbeat she forgot who she was supposed to be. She wasn't any peach, but she couldn't be Arya Stark either, not here with some smelly drunk she did not know. "I'm . . ."

"She's my sister." Gendry put a heavy hand on the old man's shoulder, and squeezed. "Leave her be." (ASOS, Arya V)

Arya is not a peach, she is a sister. Little sister. 

And there’s this:

He liked the deep, sweet ache it left in the muscles afterward. He liked the way the air tasted way up high, sweet and cold as a winter peach. He liked the birds: the crows in the broken tower, the tiny little sparrows that nested in cracks between the stones, the ancient owl that slept in the dusty loft above the old armory. Bran knew them all.  (AGOT, Bran II)

Jon only tastes the cold when silver-haired Val tastes sweetness in the air, but way up high the winter peach makes the air taste sweet, too. 

"Sweet smells are sometimes used to cover foul ones." (ACOK, Daenerys II)

But foul smells might cover sweet ones, too. The Unkiss covers a bitter trauma, but perhaps it was drawn from a more innocent kiss in the past.

The naked red-haired girl by the water might trigger a rewrite of Jon’s perception of Ygritte, but it might draw that from a different kind of confusion, surrounding the same memories that feed Sansa’s editing.

The godswood is certainly a stage for kissing:

As she stood there, all the memories came flooding back to her. Her father had taught her to ride amongst these trees, and that was the elm that Edmure had fallen from when he broke his arm, and over there, beneath that bower, she and Lysa had played at kissing with Petyr.

She had not thought of that in years. How young they all had been — she no older than Sansa, Lysa younger than Arya, and Petyr younger still, yet eager. The girls had traded him between them, serious and giggling by turns. (…)

Robb got to his feet slowly and sheathed his sword, and Catelyn found herself wondering whether her son had ever kissed a girl in the godswood. Surely he must have.  (AGOT, Catelyn XI)

Memories that flood back, young children, innocent games that have consequences much later on, a specific Connection drawn to the Starklings and the Winterfell godswood.

More kissing:

 "I won't! I saw you kissing in the snow. She's just like her mother. Catelyn kissed you in the godswood, but she never meant it, she never wanted you. (ASOS, Sansa VII)

and yet more...

Theon Greyjoy was no stranger to this godswood. He had played here as a boy, skipping stones across the cold black pool beneath the weirwood, hiding his treasures in the bole of an ancient oak, stalking squirrels with a bow he made himself. Later, older, he had soaked his bruises in the hot springs after many a session in the yard with Robb and Jory and Jon Snow. In amongst these chestnuts and elms and soldier pines he had found secret places where he could hide when he wanted to be alone. The first time he had ever kissed a girl had been here. Later, a different girl had made a man of him upon a ragged quilt in the shade of that tall grey-green sentinel. (ADWD, The Prince of Winterfell)

Starklings, kissing and the hot springs all in a paragraph.

I would say there is material here. If GRRM wants to write about Sansa and Jon sharing a memory that involves the hot springs, kissing and references to Florian and Jonquil, he will have planted the hints. It would certainly be a bit poetic if both of them used the same memory soup to create their trauma responses.

**

Before anyone tries to accuse me of hypocrisy when it comes to age gaps, abuse etc. I do not think this was a case of Jon perving on his young sister. Cat was 12 when she played kissing games with a much younger Petyr and Lysa, and I don’t think we are supposed to consider this a threesome. It’s child’s play. That’s my angle here. 

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 4

Double feature tonight! Here's chapter 4 as well. Last night I was inspired and I did managed to write a few chapters.

As usual... some Gaelic for you:

A bheil Gàidhlig agad - Do you speak Gaelic? mo charaid - my friend

Some of Elias' words seem funny, but he speaks Scots as well. And he is so damn sexy while doing it.

All the locations I mentioned they are real. Rowan's bookstore it's the only fictional place.

Happy reading!

------

Aelin woke up quite late the next morning. After her fight with Rowan she had spent the day at the marina and wondered around the town. She had felt empty and could not bring herself to do anything. She finally managed to speak with Lysandra and cried. She cried her heart out and her friend had listened. Like she always did. She had gotten home later in the afternoon and felt exhausted. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room reading her books. That brought her joy at least, although dreaded going back to shop to collect the last book. She could not face him. Not yet. But that morning she had woken with a renewed motivation. She had prepared breakfast for herself and admitted she missed Maeve’s apple turnovers but could not risk going back there at the moment. She had to put some distance. So she ate her own breakfast, prepared a couple of sandwiches and got her backpack ready for the next adventure. Today she was driving south toward Harris. She had learned that Lewis and Harris were one big islands but Lewis was the Northern part, full of moors and peat land. Harris, was the Southern part, much rockier and with some stunning beaches and a famous road called the Golden road. Ten minutes later she was in the car and ready to go. She set her sat nav and she left. Over an hour later the sat nav announced one last turn to her final destination: Luskentyre beach. She had a look at some photos online and she could not believe such a gorgeous place existed.

She parked the car and opened the door and got out. No internet image had prepared her for the view in front of her. The beach was massive, the stretch of sand never ending and the sand was so white that it almost hurt the eyes. And the sea. It was the purest green mixed with blue that she had ever seen in her life. She was speechless. For ten solid minutes she leaned against the open door of her car and observed the stretch of paradise in front of her, incapable of doing anything else. Trying to burn in her memories the colours. She would take pictures but doubted they would ever do any justice. Finally she moved and grabbed her backpack, locked the car and walked to the beach. Once she reached the sand she removed the shoes. No way she was going to walk on that sand with her shoes on. The sun was up and the sand was warm at the touch and she let the feeling sooth her. Around her there were a few people walking dogs and couples walking hand in hand. A pang of sadness hit her, and absentmindedly she touched the spot where her wedding band should have been hating herself straight after, for missing Chaol. He made his choice. She had given him his freedom. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought them back and resumed her walk along the beach. She followed the beach and walked in the water ignoring that it was cold. She walked for hours then she decided to sit and eat her lunch. Her sandwich was gross compared to Maeve’s and in her packed there definitely was no chocolate cake. She sighed. A young man was walking his dog and she noticed the animal coming her way. The man called him a few times, but a moment later the dog was at her feet, his tongue lolling from his mouth and was staring at her sandwich. Aelin laughed and gave him a bit and he ate eagerly. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you. You might never get rid of him.” The man was now in front of her and was scratching the dog ears. “It’s fine I was done eating anyway.” And she gave the rest of her lunch to the dog. She lifted her eyes and stared at the man. He was wearing shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. His hair was black as the night and his eyes a light blue edging on grey. Her breath caught and she felt herself blushing. “You are not a local.” He said as a matter of fact. “That obvious?” “Your accent. Definitely not from here.” His smile left her breathless. He had dimples. On both sides. He was quite cute. “Where do you bide?” Aelin looked at the man puzzled “Bide?” “Aye, where do you stay?” Understanding dawned on her. The word must have a different meaning in Scots “I am staying in Stornoway.” “Bonnie place. I live in Callanish. Ye, ken?” Aelin was stuck again. Was he even speaking English? So far all the other people had done their best to speak English with her. “Sorry, bad habit. I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant if you know Callanish.” The man sat beside her on the sand while the dog was running free on the beach. “Yes I was there a couple of days ago. I went to the standing stones. Such a fascinating place.” “I have one of the smaller circles just outside ma hoose.” He confessed turning his head to her “There are actually few more different sites scattered around the area. The main one at the visit centre is Callanish I.” He explained, then he extended his hand “I am Elias by the way. I have been yapping non stop and forgot to introduce myself.” “Aelin,” she said taking his hand. “Aelin…” her name on his tongue sounded perfection “In Gaelic means bright or shining one.” “So, are you a tourist? Visiting friends? Family? Boyfriend?” Aelin giggled “Status uncertain at the moment.” She said, then looked at Elias and explained a bit further “Tourist at the moment, but things might change.” “So, where are ye fae?” She guessed his question and she hoped she got it right “London.” She replied. “Been there for work a few times. I am an engineer and I have been down there for a few conventions.” Aelin was too busy listening at his sexy accent to pay attention to what he was saying and she felt embarrassed when she had to ask to repeat his answer. “Nae worries. I said I am an engineer and I was in London a few times for work.” “Cool what type?” The guy was fascinating and seemed much more willing to chat that a certain grumpy one back in town. “Environmental. I am working with Calmac at the moment. That’s the company that runs the ferry you used to get here if you travelled by sea.” He explained while the dog came back and licked his fingers quite happily. “I am a doctor. I was…. Still am… it’s complicated.” She cut short and noticed the confusion in his face. “Long boring story.” “What type?” “Cardio thoracic surgeon.” He whistled “bad ass woman. Love it.” His grin reached his eyes and she felt heat spread inside her. Definitely more than cute. And those dimples… She was having a good time but she had to keep going, she still had a few things to do. “I am enjoying the conversation but I still have quite a lot to cover.” She stood and turned to him. The main smiled “Of course. Care for some suggestions?” Aelin nodded. “If you are driving south, right after Borve there is another lovely beach. Stop there as well. Not as famous as Luskentyre but amazing as well. Then continue all the way down to Rodel. It’s the village at the end of the road. There is a lovely church called St. Clements. Worth visiting. Once you are past Rodel make your way back via the Golden road. It’s a very narrow road but it’s a pleasure to drive if you want an Hebridean adventure. Once you are almost at the top before Tarbert, make sure you stop in Drinisiader. There is a fascinating wee museum about Harris Tweed. But just hide your purse. They have some amazing stuff and you might want to buy the entire shop. Then you are in Tarbert and from there it’s an easy drive back to Stornoway.” “Tapadh Leat.” She said and Elias gave her a huge grin in response. “A bheil Gàidhlig agad?” He asked and she realised she had to stop trying to use Gaelic. “I just know thank you and good morning.” She explained almost embarrassed. “That’s okay, lass. I am not a native speaker either. I learnt it later on in life. My parents don’t actively speak it, but my gran did. It was the only way I had to communicate with her. My parents were parts of the generation that grew being taught that speaking Gaelic was not proper, so they never did. My mum understands it because of course her mother was a speaker. But she used her dad to translate. It’s a very long complicated story.” He stopped and looked at her. “Looks like we both have a complicated story to tell each other.” Aelin’s stomach fluttered in excitement. He grabbed his wallet and removed a business card from it. “Sorry for being so direct, but you seem quite an interesting person. Call me or message me if you need a guide.” He held the card to her and Aelin debated for a moment whether to take it or not. Lysandra had told her to go to Scotland, enjoy herself and get a Scottish man in the process and forget her ex husband. She took the card “I’ll call you.” “Do it, mo charaid.” She smiled warmly, grabbed her backpack “It was nice meeting you, Elias.”

She was driving along the Golden road and she had to admit that the road was a real adventure. Large enough for a small car to pass, she had to constantly focus on the road to avoid ending in a ditch or in a loch beside the road. But no matter the stress, she was loving it. Until the sheep arrived. One moment she was alone on the road. The next moment she was surrounded by sheep. A massive flock stretched for some length along the road. She got off the car, she took a picture and sent it to Lysandra with the caption traffic jam in the Hebrides. A moment later the phone rang. “Are you kidding me?” “No Lys, I swear I am surrounded by sheep. They are everywhere and I can’t go anywhere. Guess someone will come and collect them soon.” She heard Lysandra laugh “Sounds like you are having a great time.” “I am.” she confessed not entirely convinced. The memory of the fight with Rowan still stung and she was wracking her brain to find a way to fix things with him. She was… intrigued by him. He was brooding, infuriating and handsome at the same time. Plus he was the owner of a bookstore which was not bad. She wanted to be his friend but it looked like he was not interested. He had made that abundantly clear. Nothing I want to give you. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought, not willing to let sadness spoil such a lovely day. So she had decided to put some distance. She would go to get her book when it arrived and then limit her visits to his shop, for as much as it pained her. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Well, she was granting him his wish. “How is going with Aedion?” She changed the subject. “Well, we have only been on a date but he’s great.” “Already planning your wedding?” Aelin joked and Lysandra laughed in reply. “Nah, just imagining having sex with him for now.” “Eew. I didn’t need to know that” “Seriously… the man has amazing hands and I spent the evening thinking what he can do with them. And if all the other parts are just as big as the rest of the body…” “Eewww. Ewwww and eeeeew.” “Since when you are such a prude?” Aelin laughed she wasn’t but she had no interest in listening her best friend talk about her boyfriend’s body parts. “Get a move on finding a man of your own and then you can fantasise about his body parts.” For a brief moment Aelin’s mind thought about Rowan’s hands and… No, stop. She could not go there. That was dangerous territory. “We’ll see.” Was all that she added. “I need you to come back to me happy.” “What if…” she paused for a second “what if I am not coming back?” “What do you mean?” In the distance Aelin noticed a tractor and the sheep began moving again. “Sheep are moving. Gotta go back home.” “Ok. Keep me posted.” She say bye to Lys and she was positive she felt a note of sadness in her friend’s voice.

The sheep finally moved and she spent the journey home mulling over what she had said to Lys. She could not see herself going back to London. Something had broken inside her. Maybe it was her that was broken. With her skills and experience she could easily find another job in another hospital. So why the rejection from one place hurt so much? And Chaol… London was a very big place, the chances of her bumping into him on the streets were minimal. However, they had loads of friends in common. She would have to give up her friends to avoid him. Give up her gym, her favourite bookstore and cafe, because he was a regular in those places too. She would have to give up her life to avoid him and the pain that seeing again would bring. She had felt relieved after the divorce. She still had no regrets. But forgetting almost a decade together was proving more difficult than she expected. She pushed on the breaks quite hard, forced the door open and run to the field near the road. And then she collapsed on her knees and screamed, letting out all the frustration festering in her. Her hands began shaking and she felt the symptoms of a panic attack starting to manifest. Breathing was getting harder. So Aelin stayed in the filed, and cried and shook. Until she had no more tears left in her.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 68-71

Chapter 68

Andi remembers how Kalee gave her a tour of her home and bragged about how she’d be ruling the place someday. Andi asks why her and not her brother.

Oh, Androma. Kalee had laughed then, tossing her head back in that glorious, carefree way that made everyone around her want to come closer. You and I both know that a woman can rule better than any man ever could. And I’ll look twice as good doing it, too.

Shinsay, voices muffled as their heads are stuck up each other’s asses: This is definitely, 100%, one whole, bona fide, authentic, organic, home-grown feminism that we just put in our book.

Also ... take a look at that weak-ass description that’s supposed to show us how good and cool Kalee is. When she laughs (in a way that tbh have you ever laughed? be real with me now), people want to ... come closer? 

Wow! That’s like saying ... when I scratch my face, people want to call their mom. When I brush my hair, people may spontaneously feel the need to take a slightly deeper breath.

Talk about low standards. Hey fellas, you ever see someone laugh and just kinda sorta want to approach them but not really? Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Andi thinks about how Kalee would’ve been a better ruler than her dad, who doesn’t even bother coming down to meet his tortured son because that’s how incompetent and evil and heartless he is. I mean, Andi doesn’t know that Valen is the result of rape, but still. Idk if I’m on board with how the book demonizes the hell out of the General but tried to make whatsherface sympathetic. And by “I don’t know if I am” I mean “I’m definitely not what the fuck is wrong with these people.”

Dex tries to make some conversation and Andi says that nobody befriended Kalee, that only super duper special people were CHOSEN by her to become her friends.

I’m ... not sure how this is supposed to be better. In fact, I’d say it’s worse?

“Kalee chose the people she wished to let into her life. I was honored that she allowed me to be assigned to her.”

“Honored?” Dex asked, raising a bruised brow. “Or damned?”

“I’ll let you know after we talk to the general,” Andi said.

I’m gonna fiking piss. “I’ll tell you whether this important life event was honor or damnation, but like, later, after we have this appointment, ok?” Why is this so funny. Have I fully lost my marbles?

Andi foreshadows some escape tunnels that are hidden all around the estate so Dex has a logical way to save them at the end of the book. I’m sure there is a more elegant way of setting that up, but I can’t be bothered to find one, so let’s call it acceptable and move on.

They arrive at their destination and Andi notices that Alfie seems bummed out. She muses that he’s “capable of far more complex thinking than she’d originally guessed,” which, DOY, but ok, and then thinks about how he’s saved her crew and remembered Gilly’s Marketable Space Pet, which implies he has some “understanding of feelings and attachments.”

That hamster wheel do be spinnin’.

The “head Spectre” comes out to meet them and ...

It took everything in her to speak as the truth struck her.

“Dad?”

DUN DUN DUUUN, it’s Andi’s dad! Also, “the truth struck her?” What truth? That it’s your dad? Was that in doubt? Did you really need a moment to connect the dots, to realize this is your dad? Was there a moment where you saw this man, who is your dad, and thought that this wasn’t your dad, only for the truth to strike and OH SHIT THAT’S MY DAD!! WOW HOLD YOUR HORSES EVERYONE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS THAT THIS IS INDEED MY DAD.

Tbh if you strapped knives to a roomba it’d have more charisma and presence as the protagonist than Andi. And let’s be real, more intelligence.

Yet another chapter ends on a pointless cliffhanger only for the scene to continue exactly where it left off!

You’re just full of surprises, Shinsay.

Chapter 69 (nice)

Andi recaps everything that she’s gone through after the Kalee crash up to the fight with the big alien dude who got deus ex machina-d by Alfie and how she nearly kissed Dex, which gets written as extra special, just so she can make this point:

But this...her father, as General Cortas’s head Spectre?

This might actually kill her.

And aside from how generically melodramatic it is, I can’t help but recall this, from chapter 7:

The man in front of her was a victim of her foolishness. Beside her was the man who’d rejected her love.

The two of them, together? It was nearly enough to shatter Andi.

Andi has the same reaction as I do when in a room with multiple men. Except in her case I think it’s supposed to be deep and personal.

Anyway, self-plagiarism aside, Andi thinks about how her dad was always there for her but then one day wasn’t when he didn’t support her on her trial and how conflicted she feels about him, both wanting to demand justice but also wanting comfort. This is actually quite touching and feels very grounded and realistic.

General Cortas rubs it in that Andi’s dad, “Comander Racella”, has been very loyal and hardworking since he was promoted after Andi’s trial. Andi hopes that her father actually hates the general and was forced to work for him as some sort of punishment for what happened with their daughters.

The general says the situation on Adhira has been taken care of, and when Andi asks whether Xen Ptera attacked because of Valen and her crew’s presence on Adhira, the general says that’s classified. For reasons? Idk. Seems pretty obvious to me, or maybe he just doesn’t know?

Dex tries to yap but Cortas flexes his big dick and reminds Dex that he’s a Guardian now, and Dex is too much of a baby to risk his regained status so he shuts up. This is all spelled out for us by Andi’s inner monologue, because we’re idiots.

The general claims the Xen Pteran forces have been wiped out, saying how it’s probably all they had since there’s few able-bodied and willing people to recruit for war after their planet got fucked, and when Andi presses him for why the attack happened now and on Adhira, he says:

“War never really ends, Androma. The desire for revenge is often too strong to forget.”

“War never ends ... But me and my crew totes ended that war just now. They don’t have any more soldiers so this war is over.” Makes sense, sir. 

Cortas says that queen Alara is safe and will be at the Peace Summit, which Andi immediately tells him to cancel because it would be the perfect opportunity for another attack. Cortas replies by saying that Arcardius is impenetrable and that the day the Olen System successfully invades will be the day “stars fall from the sky” which is a very poetic and not at all natural way to say something like this, so it’s there for ... idk dramatic irony? He also reminds her that the Summit is important because it celebrates the peace after the war and the unity between the systems and I’m here like ... for a guy who says war never ends, you sure seem happy to celebrate a war ending and don’t believe one is going on right now. But I guess these characters just exist to spout meaningless yet deep-sounding nonsense at each other.

Dex reminds the general that they’ve done their end of the deal, at which point the general conveniently decides to prolong it out of nowhere and essentially forces Andi and Dex to be Valen’s bodyguards at the Peace Summit by holding Andi’s crew and ship and Dex’s money and status hostage. Thanks for ensuring the main characters are there for the climax, sir! Appreciated!

Dex and Andi leave in a huff.

Chapter 70

We’re in Lira’s POV as she reminisces about her childhood with Lon while he’s recovering from his near-death-experience.

So she sat by [Lon’s] side for endless hours, until the warm clutches of sleep stole her away.

She dreams about flying on an “Adhiran darowak” but then DUN DUN DUUUN Adhira below turns into Xen Ptera and it’s horrible!

“No,” Lira gasped. Her heart began to crack. Fissures spread through it, reaching cold fingers through every valve until Lira felt darkness stealing her away.

So the editor just left that in, huh? Just let Shinsay use the exact same wording in less than 200 words? Must’ve been stolen away by the editing fairy for editing crimes while reading this.

Lira is woken up by Alara, who got here so fucking fast she must be part-Sonic on her father’s side. You’d think a planetary leader would have more to do after a sudden and deadly attack on her home planet, but I guess Adhirans are so chill they’ll just let their leader fuck off to take care of her angsty teenage niece instead.

Lira says that she’ll do anything to make up for bringing Valen to Adhira, to which Alara says that the only thing Lira will do is “follow her heart,” which is sweet of her to say but also really convenient and makes this whole decision easier for her.

I mean, it’s nice that Alara is so supportive, but 1) narratively, it removes the conflict that was introduced only a few chapters ago 2) it makes Alara seem like she’s only there to be the supportive cool aunt and the Good Queen, without any expectations or wants of her own. Like, wasn’t the pressure from Alara something that gave Lira actual conflict? Idk. Seems too easy, is what I’m saying.

Lira didn’t let go of her aunt until the tears dried up. Until they sat down on either side of Lon’s bedside, held his hands and spoke of happier times. The beauty of a family that could come together, broken, and still find a way to become something whole.

You’re one step away from “Ohana means family” over here, Shinsay. Stop spelling shit out. WE. GET. IT. Also, whose narration is this? We’ve mostly stuck to third person limited, so ... is Lira thinking this? Is she thinking this shit while it’s happening? About her own family and situation? What the fuck?

Shinsay couldn’t keep their suspiciously sticky fingers out of their own writing and let it breathe so it comes out looking like God’s mistake.

Anyway, Lon wakes up and Alara tells him what went down on Adhira.

Chapter 71

We’re back with Andi, who just got out of a bath and is bitterly admiring her “private quarters” when she’s interrupted by DUN DUN her dad! He’s been waiting for her!

It’s all very tense. Before they can really start talking, though, we get a flashback. No, really. This whole tense reunion between father and daughter is interrupted by a lengthy flashback brought on by Andi watching her dad and Remembering.

Because Shinsay.

It’s a flashback to Andi in a cell, the day before she was supposed to be executed. Her dad tells her that her mother is "not well” and we find out his name is Oren. As they’re saying their tearful goodbyes, Oren slips Andi a key and tells her “Bay Seven. Tomorrow at dawn.” 

The flashback ends with Andi’s cell standing empty the next morning.

Very cool and all that.

Back in the now, Andi rightfully chews her dad out for being a cowardly little bitch and throwing his teenage daughter under the bus for the sake of status. Something he freely admits to doing. He says he and her mother had to struggle to rebuild their reputation after she ruined it, and that he believes his daughter died with Kalee and that whoever he saved in the cell was already the Bloody Baroness even if she didn’t know it yet. Then he fucks off.

It’s all extremely silly. It would’ve been heartbreaking in any better book, but instead, it just feels like it’s tacked on for the sake of adding even more angst to Androma’s character. In fact, she’s not even upset at this. Instead she just carves some more tallies into her swords, dances some more with the dead, and then sneaks out.

No really, it’s written like a list.

She waited for the tears to come. But they never did.

Instead she sat alone, adding more tallies to her swords. Dancing with the dead inside her head.

Why is this so funny! I think it’s because both the tally-carving and the ghost-dancing is supposed to be these deep and haunted things she does that’s given a fair amount of weight and focus, but then it’s just written out like this like it’s just some generic routine shit she does like brushing her teeth or wiping her ass.

Yup, there she goes, doing her generic angsty shit one after the other. Emotional whiplash glossed over for the sake of moving the plot along. She’s in such a bad mental state that we simply MUST ignore it and move on.

Also, I want to highlight how convenient it is for Shinsay to already have Andi suspect and previously coming to terms with how her parents don’t love her before this confrontation. Like, we see her father save her tearfully, yet Andi has almost no hope that he still loves her. Or, she does, but when it’s squashed, she just ... accepts it? Because hey, she already processed that trauma years before! Makes it easy!

Wouldn’t it make it more impactful if all these years, she’s hoped that she has a home to come back to? That her father’s final act of saving her meant they love her still and want her to come back? And now she finds out that they never even mourned her loss? Wouldn’t that be heart-wrenching? And also add to the idea that Andi wants to return to Arcardia, both because it’s her home planet but also because that’s where her parents are? Instead we’re led to believe Andi wants to return, but when she does, she hates it here, she knows nobody wants her here, and she wants to leave immediately.

I seriously question the inclusion of this subplot and these characters. It adds nothing, changes nothing, and is just there to make Andi more angsty, which she already is, so ... why is this here lmao?

Shinsay really went “let’s squander all our potentially interesting ideas and concepts for the sake of more cheap angst and making our protag a cool emotionless badass who don’t care for no thing.”

[saltybaltic]

OMG BBY CONGRATS ON 1K 💖💖 you deserve it and so much more for thework you put in. I know requests are closed but I really enjoy your carol and Natasha fics so when you get a chance, 24 with them please!

1K CELEBRATION

Natasha had always found sitting out on the field by the edge of the campus peaceful. To an outsider that might seem ridiculous; the sound of the football team training to one side, a boyfriend and girlfriend arguing behind her, cheerleader practice in the distance, a group of seniors having a heated debate about an upcoming party on the bench to her left, and the ever present pounding of cleats on the ground as the track team ran literal circles around her. For some reason that she couldn’t put her finger on though, it soothed her.

Until college Natasha had always considered herself a lone wolf, growing up without any real friends. Not that it had ever bothered her much and it had always been by choice. Since her arrival at college though, everything had changed. People had been curious about the mysterious red head with piercing green eyes who sat quietly at the back of class making notes. And it seemed it had just taken the right people to bring her out of her shell, dragging her along to social clubs and parties until eventually she wasn’t so quiet around the tight knit group of idiots she called friends any more. Shy smiles and nervous glances turned to a real smart mouth and witty comments that people sometimes couldn’t believe were coming from the quiet, little bookworm who sat forward at her desk, listening avidly in lectures.

Naturally this meant Natasha didn’t exactly run in the same circles as the people she found outside on the grass at campus. But she liked to be reminded that they were there, and she was a part of this place just the same as they were. It was comforting to be a part of something for once.

And so she would sit and listen to the sound of the people around her sometimes as she read over her books or made notes, not really paying much attention to the details but just enjoying it. Until one particular afternoon when the sound of feet pounding towards her and a shout of ‘heads up’ broke her from her thoughts just as a person literally collapsed to the ground beside her with a thud.

“Oh Jesus-that was a close one-are you okay?!” came the rushed jumble of words as the new arrival pushed herself up onto her knees, cradling a football in her arms as she brushed a few blades of grass from her shoulders. “I didn’t get you did I?”

Natasha blinked a few times as she tried to process what had just happened, scanning the other girl up and down as she crouched down beside her with a concerned smile. She recognised her a little, sure that she’d seen her around campus at least a couple of times although she definitely didn’t know her name. Natasha was certainly observant enough to pick up on the fact that this girl had to work out and it was obvious from the sports jersey and shorts that she was part of a group that wouldn’t have mixed with her own in the past.

Looking down at her own body and then back up at the other girl, Natasha quirked an eyebrow with a small smile, “Looks like I just about survived.”

“Hey, I’m real sorry about that. Idiots over there.” she ticked her head in the direction of the field behind her, “Dont know how to throw a football. Fortunately I know how to catch one.”

Natasha had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the quick wink the blonde shot her, trying and failing not to sound bored in her reply “Very impressive.”

“Hey Danvers! Quit yapping and get over here!”

At the sound of her friends calling her, the girl threw the football back in their direction before turning back to Natasha with a puzzled smile, “Forgive me if I’m wrong but you don’t really sound like you mean that.”

“Well ... you can train a dog to catch a ball.” drawled Natasha, a teasing tone to her voice.

The other girl grinned, “You know, you’re not wrong there. I’m very trainable.”

Natasha removed her glasses, throwing them down to join her book on the grass before leaning back on one of her hands and cocking her head to study the other girl properly, “I bet you are.”

There was a few moments of silence as both girls just looked back at each other, a small smile playing at their lips until eventually the other girl moved to hold out her hand.

“I’m Carol.”

Natasha looked down at the outstretched hand as if she wasn’t sure what to do for a second before finally slipping her hand into Carol’s with a gentle squeeze. “Natasha.”

“You know I’ve seen you around but I almost didn’t recognise you without your nose in a book.” started Carol, nodding down to the selection of books and folders that Natasha had brought with her, “Quite a collection you have there.”

As she finished speaking, Carol tucked her hand under the bottom of her vest, lifting it so she could use it to wipe at her face. Natasha found her eyes drawn to Carol’s now exposed torso and mentally scolded herself at the shiver that passed through her at the sight, forcing her eyes back up to meet the brown staring back at her, “I need them ... I have a lot of class work.”

“Oi Danvers! Get your ass back over here! Captain my ass, we have training to do!”

Turning her head to face the person shouting at her, Carol shot them a warning glare before looking back at the red head, “Well Natasha ... you ever want a break from all that class work, maybe I could take you out some place.”

“I don’t know about that,” started Natasha, shifting her position to tuck her legs underneath herself and leaning further towards Carol, “Seems your company is already in high demand, Captain.”

The way the title rolled off Natasha’s tongue was bordering on condescending but for reasons Carol couldn’t explain it practically made her mouth water and her grin only broadened, “I could always make time for a girl like you.”

Leaning even closer, Natasha set her face in front of Carol’s with a smirk, “Trust me, you’ve never met a girl like me.”

“Well I do like a challenge.” insisted Carol, not in the least bit thrown off by the fact Natasha seemed immune to her usually successful charm, “And like I said, I’m very trainable.”

Natasha hummed, “And I’m sure I’d love to whip you into shape. If only I didn’t have to get to class.”

Stumbling to her feet, all of Carol’s calmness and nonchalance went out of the window, as she brushed the grass from her clothing and gestured for Natasha to stand up, “How about I walk you?”

“I think I can find the way on my own ...”

Carol bent down to grab the stack of books by Natasha’s side, scooping them into her arms before standing up straight again, “Come on, you’ve gotta let me carry your books, it’s the least I can do after nearly knocking you out with a football.”

Looking up at the way Carol was cradling all of her books in her hands, Natasha narrowed her eyes suspiciously with a small smirk, “Are you flexing right now?”

“Definitely not. This is just how my body looks. Why, are you impressed?”

Natasha couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes this time, rising to her feet and brushing the back of her jeans with her hands as she propped her glasses on the top of her head, “I thought you had practice anyway.”

“Meh.” Carol shrugged dismissively as she nodded her head in the direction of the main building as a signal for Natasha to start walking, “I can catch up later.”

Nodding her head in acceptance, Natasha took a step forward as Carol started walking alongside her, “This really isn’t necessary, I can carry my own books.”

“I know but I want to.” insisted Carol, holding the books a little tighter to her chest to reinforce her point, “Plus you’re like way too hot to be carrying your own books.”

Natasha gave Carol a side eye, a barely noticeable smile tugging at the corner of her lips, “That kind of makes it seem like you’re only interested in doing me a favour cause you wanna sleep with me. So I’m gonna give you one chance to rephrase that.”

“Oh I mean ... I just ... I wasn’t trying to say that. What I meant was you know ... well ... sorry, I’m usually much better at this.”

As Carol stumbled over her words for what Natasha was sure had to be the first time in her life, the red head couldn’t help but listen fondly to the sound and breathed out a laugh, “I thought you jock types were supposed to be cool.”

“Common misconception.” explained Carol, relaxing slightly as she saw the amusement on Natasha’s face, “I thought you nerdy girls weren’t supposed to be so intimidating.”

Natasha shrugged and her smirk broadened, “Well I did try to tell you that you’ve never met a girl like me before.”

The two girls continued to chat amicably about nothing of real importance as they walked towards Natasha’s class and Carol was so lost in listening to the sound of her voice and watching the way her lips moved with each word that she almost didn’t notice when they came to a stop outside of a door at the bottom of a corridor.

“So ...” started Natasha, gesturing to the doorway, “This is me.”

“Oh. Right. Cool.” mumbled Carol, feeling uncharacteristically awkward as she hovered there with an armful of Natasha’s books as she considered what her next move should be. She could think of nothing good to say or do but desperately didn’t want this to be the last time they spoke.

Natasha acted first, reaching forward to take her items from Carol’s hold, “Thanks for the help.”

“Any time.” stated Carol, unable to hide the eagerness to her tone, “Seriously. Any time.”

Scanning her eyes purposefully over the other girl from head to toe, Natasha shot Carol a smirk, “I might just take you up on that.”

Carol stared back at the red head with a somewhat dumbfounded expression, not able to comprehend why this girl had rendered her a rambling, uncharasmatic and downright embarrassing mess. God if the rest of the team could see me now.

She was broken from her thoughts as Natasha went to step through the door, leaning forward and resting her hand on the frame so her arm blocked the other girl from stepping inside, “Can I see you again?”

Natasha said nothing at first, leaning in to Carol’s body and using the hand that wasn’t balancing her stack of books to smooth over the front of Carol’s jersey and grin as she felt the blonde push out a sharp breath at the contact, “Same place, same time, tomorrow. Maybe make a less dramatic entrance this time.”

“I can do that.” breathed out Carol, the words seeming a genuine effort with Natasha’s invasion of her personal space.

“Good girl.” teased Natasha, patting Carol’s cheek playfully a few times, “You’re very trainable indeed, Captain Danvers.”

For the first time in a long time Carol was speechless as Natasha simply smiled and ducked under her arm to step into the classroom without another word. There was only one thing Carol was sure of as she watched the red head go - this girl would almost certainly be the death of her.

[itsallavengers]

Canine Cupid

Commission for anonymous, who asked for some cute Winteriron+ Puppies! This comes in at 2k.

If asked, Tony would probably say that it was entirely Gandalf’s fault, which wasn’t true. A good 10% of the blame went on Tony and Bucky would stand by that statistic until the day he died, thank you very much.

But… you know. The other 95% was definitely split between Bucky and Gandalf.

Gandalf was a big dog, you see. He was large and he was energetic and ever since he was a puppy he had always had a terrible sense of spatial awareness. This wasn’t even the first time it’d happened whilst Bucky had been taking him on a walk, although it was probably the worst accident to date.

He’d been throwing the ball on the grass, letting Gandalf race energetically to leap and catch it before bringing it back. He did this every morning, nothing unusual about that, and Gandalf never seemed to get bored of catching tennis balls with wild abandon, often banging into trashcans and trees in his haste to retrieve it as fast as possible, because, as Bucky had said, terrible sense of awareness. For a breed like a Husky, which was supposedly intelligent, Gandalf sure as hell didn’t seem to have a lot of sense (not that Bucky could say he would change that about him in a million years, of course).

Anyway. Like Bucky had been explaining, he’d just been tossing the ball for him, exactly the same way he always did, and Gandalf had been racing after it, leaping to catch it and then waggling his tail excitedly while he brought it back. It had all been fine.

Except Gandalf missed the ball. It didn’t make it into his mouth and instead went over his head, bouncing off the grass and onto the pathway through the park. Gandalf twisted in midair, eyes locking onto the offending ball, determined not to let it out of his grasp for a second time. And of course, right when Gandalf set off and made to pounce?

Someone decided to walk around the corner, ambling easily as they texted on their phone, oblivious to the world and also to the big white Siberian Husky that was leaping through the air trying to catch his target.

Bucky watched from a couple of yards away, somewhat resigned to the immediate disaster that he knew was going to happen. He lurched forward and called out Gandalf’s name sharply, but only managed to break out the first syllable before—

“SONOFABITCH!”

The poor man was very suddenly overwhelmed with roughly fifty-pounds of rapidly moving Husky careening into his legs, and Bucky gasped in horror as the guy clattered roughly to the rough concrete floor, Gandalf sprawling on top of him as the dog also stumbled, surprised by the malleability of what he’d hurtled into. Usually they were things like trees, with somewhat less of a give.

“Oh My God,” Bucky muttered, starting up on a sprint, “oh my GOD, Gandalf, you DUMBASS!”

Gandalf got quickly back to his paws and trotted over to Bucky, the ball clutched happily in his mouth, completely oblivious to the chaos he’d just caused to this man’s 9am walk. Bucky ignored him in favour of rushing over to the stranger, still laid flat-out on his back and gazing somewhat dazedly at the sky. He had a look of surprise on his face. “Ow.”

Bucky reached him a second or so later, dropping hurriedly into a crouch and leaning over him. “Are you okay?” He asked hurriedly, eyes wide and mortified and oh God, what if this guy was hurt? Bucky would have to pay any medical bills, and he couldn’t even afford to pay his own medical bills, Christ, Gandalf was the worst- “Are you hurt? Did you hit your head? I am so so sorry, my dog is a fucking idiot, holy shit—”

“I’m alright,” the man breathed out sharply and focused on Bucky before blinking rapidly. “Whoah, hello there, handsome. This morning is getting more and more interesting by the minute.” He sat up a little, rubbing at his neck and then turning around while Bucky simply stared at him, completely unsure of where to go next. “Hey, where’d my dog go? Black poodle, tiny, yaps like a complete asshole? I lost sight of him while I was getting run over.”

Bucky spluttered, looking around the grass helplessly. He spotted Gandalf a few meters away, minding his own business as he sniffed around, but then he shifted a little and Bucky saw that Gandalf wasn’t just sniffing daisies. Oh no—seemingly not content with bowling the man over, it now appeared Gandalf had his nose rather far up the ass of the dog that belonged to him. “Uhh,” Bucky started in mortification, whistling sharply and harshly, “Gandalf, stop it! Stop… Oh Jesus, uh, he’s. He’s over there,” Bucky waved helplessly and cursed Gandalf’s name as he did it. When this was over, Steve was getting full custody. Bucky could not deal with this shit on a Monday morning.

Gandalf, after a few seconds’ worth of extra sniffing, eventually followed Bucky’s command and scurried back over, his tongue lolling out happily. Bucky turned back to the man who was now sat up on the floor, feeling his cheeks burning. “I am so sorry,” he blurted, “Gandalf’s an idiot and he runs constantly into walls, he’s not a bad dog though, honestly—”

“You called your dog Gandalf,” the man declared half-way through, and Bucky stopped.

“Yeah,” he said, “it’s… he’s got a kind of doggy beard, sort of. It’s… it’s a thing.”

The man blinked once at him. Then he turned to the black poodle, now also making its way over to them both with a couple of high-pitched yaps. “I mostly just call my dog Asshole,” he said, “but I can see how yours would be a Gandalf. Also, for some reason, the fact that you care enough about Lord of the Rings to name your dog after a character makes me even more attracted to you than I already was when I saw you.”

Bucky just stared at him, waiting for the punchline. The man was still sat on the concrete, Bucky on his haunches next to him. He realised how weird this must look to the passers-by. “Did you hit your head?” He asked again, wondering if Gandalf had actually given this dude a concussion.

But a shake of his head told Bucky otherwise. “Nope, I’m just like this. Ask Rhodey.” Pushing his curly hair out of his face, he got back to his feet and dusted himself off. As he did so, Bucky took the opportunity to give him a once over. The coat alone looked like it cost more than Bucky’s rent that month, which wasn’t exactly comforting. But his face was kind. Soft around the eyes. And  he was very, very pretty. Bucky didn’t fail to notice that.

“I’m Tony,” the guy said, sticking out a hand, “does your dog usually do that? Because I just moved here, and I’d like to know whether I need to design some body armour for when I’m out walking Professor Poodles over there in future.”

Bucky shook his head and absently brushed a leaf off Tony’s shoulder. “No, God no, I swear he’s just… he’s just dumb as a brick, look—Hey Gandalf, c’mere you big lug, come on.” He clicked his fingers and waited for Gandalf to trot over, his snout pushing into Bucky’s outstretched palm. “I promise, he’s a sweetheart,” Bucky explained emphatically.

Tony glanced down at him, then extended a few wary fingers. Gandalf sniffed them curiously before his tail began to wag like a windmill and he took a big lick. Tony giggled. It was… it was cute. “Okay, yeah, I believe you,” Tony admitted with a nod, “I forgive him for his earlier crimes. Although I’m not sure my back does. Big guy really floored me there.”

“I’m so sorry,”  Bucky said, biting his lip as he looked down at Gandalf, now once more taking interest in Tony’s own dog as they sniffed one another’s genitals, as dogs tended to do upon first meeting, “is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Tony eyed him for a moment, before his mouth quirked up in a smile. “Buy me a coffee,” he declared simply, shrugging his shoulders and then looking up at Bucky pointedly through his very long, dark eyelashes. “And then maybe dinner, depending on how said coffee goes.”

Oh. Okay.

Well that sure was… something.

Bucky blinked a few times, trying to process the last few minutes. Gandalf had just felled this man where he stood, knocking him flat out on the concrete. Why had that resulted in said man asking for a date? Tony should be giving him an earful about learning to control his dog, not…

“I’ll give you a couple minutes to think it over,” Tony said cheerily, before whistling behind him, “Poodle-Boy, come on! We’re walking this way now!” The little black poodle perked up at the noise, and then scampered over a second or so later, running between Bucky and Tony’s legs and then scampering off into some bushes to pee. Sensing Tony wanted to walk with him now, Bucky moved forward and then turned to look at Tony. “What’s his actual name?” He asked, nodding over to Tony’s dog.

Tony shrugged. “He doesn’t really have one. I know,” he raised an eyebrow at Bucky’s incredulous face, “it drives Pepper up the wall too. I mostly just call him ‘baby’ or ‘cretin’. But now I’m kinda mad I didn’t, because Gandalf is a fucking awesome name for a dog.”

Bucky chuckled, his shoulder brushing with Tony’s as they walked down the path. He was still half expecting Tony to start shouting at him any moment, to be honest. It seemed a little anticlimactic, all things considered. Tony had fallen with some rather spectacular pizzazz, and Bucky had honestly though he might have killed the man in the first moment or two.

Except now the very same man was chatting away amicably to him, using his very attractive mouth and very attractive hands and wow, okay, how had any of this even happened?

(‘Gandalf was our cupid,’ Tony says later, his voice dreamy as he drapes himself over Bucky’s lap, and Bucky just rolls his eyes and tells him ‘Gandalf was nearly your very expensive medical bill that I would’ve had to pay, actually, please don’t encourage him’ and then kisses him over his morning coffee.)

They ended up taking another circuit of the park together, walking side by side while their dogs both played with one another and frolicked around with a care in the world. Tony was rubbing his elbow occasionally and Bucky resisted the urge to take hold of it and check it over. He was still a relative stranger and he didn’t want to be too pushy. But Tony seemed… relaxed. In fact, he seemed a little more than relaxed. It was like he’d already known Bucky for months before this. Better still, Bucky felt kind of the same. Tony was very easy to talk to. And there was something about the way he smiled that just made Bucky go all soft in the stomach.

“You still want me to make it up to you?” Bucky asked when they both reached the park gates twenty minutes later, raising an eyebrow somewhat nervously as Tony stopped beside him. He became rather acutely aware of the fact he hadn’t washed his hair in a good few days now, and it was hanging a little stringily down his shoulders. He resisted the urge to fiddle with it. That’d only draw attention.

Tony smiled as he leashed his poodle back up to walk him on the road. “You bet your pretty ass I do,” he agreed heartily, “once I’ve got that date, any leverage I have over you and your bulldozer of a dog is automatically nulled. Where d’you wanna meet?”

Bucky gave him the name of his favourite coffee place just down the road from where he lived, and Tony agreed enthusiastically. “I’ll be there at 2,” he called out, “and hey, you know—I think I actually did hit my head.” Bucky’s smile fell and he stepped forward in concern, but Tony just shrugged, tapping his forehead. “You may just have to kiss it better.”

Despite knowing him for all of half an hour, Bucky felt like that was very typical of the man. He rolled his eyes. “I don’t kiss strangers,” he said.

“We’re totally not strangers. You know my name. I know yours. I got uncomfortably familiar with your dog.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows and then winked, but then stepped back to turn away. Until Bucky grabbed his arm gently, and then pressed a very small kiss to the top of Tony’s forehead. When he pulled back a little, it seemed Tony was surprised Bucky had taken him up on it. He was just about to apologise for being too forward when suddenly Tony laughed, and the twinkle in his eye set Bucky’s heart at rest. “Oh, Mr Barnes,” Tony said in delight, “I am going to have so much fun with you.”

With that, he walked off, Bucky’s number safely in his phone and his dog yapping playfully by his feet. Bucky’s gaze fell on the man’s ass as he walked, and couldn’t help but feel as if Tony was exaggerating the sway of his hips a little, just for him.

Gandalf tugged at his own leash in an attempt to follow them. Bucky just looked down at the menace with a sigh and a shake of his head. “Look at what you gotten me into now,” he muttered fondly, scratching those soft ears a couple of times. “Come on, trouble. Steve’s gonna love hearing this story.”

Commission me Here!

[lilbeankiddo]

Cricket legends who played in the Indian Premier League

“It’s only a few people, administrators and umpires, who had some doubt,” Murali recalls about the controversy over his bowling action. “That is their opinion,  but someone’s opinion can’t be the rule. Doubt is part of life, that’s fair enough. But there are two sides to every story. An Australian university proved me right, in the end.

“If you leave the decision to the umpire, though, I don’t think that is fair. Not on the umpire and defi nitely not on the player. How can you see from the eyes and say that this is not right? Two people might see it diff erently. When you’re bowling, your arms rotate quicker than anything and you can’t see properly. So use the technology, see if what you’re saying is right, and then come to a conclusion. And then you can tell the bowler to change their action. These rules have been brought in aft er my incident, so things are done in diff erent ways. Now a bowler has a fair chance.

Cricket boards get millions from TV rights, the ICC pay you a lot. And who wants to take that money? Not the cricketers. Everything is politicised. In the 1990s, nobody wants to come to develop the game, so honest people do the work. Aft er the World Cup win in 1996, money started coming in by 2000, and in ten years’ time, they spoil all the game.

“We have good youngsters, but confi dence levels are going down. We used to be very confi dent. The most important thing is to get them mentally right. They have all the shots, but they don’t know how to make fi ft y, hundred or even a partnership. Those are the things that are lacking in the national side.” Since retirement, Murali has gone into manufacturing – his father made biscuits, while he has gone into aluminium cans. He’s also heavily involved with former manager Kushil Gunasekera’s charity, Foundation of Goodness. “The foundation helps people in the poorer areas, those parts of Sri Lanka aff ected by the Civil War and the 2004 Tsunami. We also have built sports facilities and helped run sports tournaments. “I was fortunate to play cricket, to play for Sri Lanka. When I had my troubles in Australia in 1995, the Sri Lankan people stood by me, supported me during those diffi cult years, where I worked hard to prove myself innocent of the charges. The people of Sri Lanka helped me a great deal and I thought then that I would do something to help them, too.

“I was actually there when the tsunami hit southern Sri Lanka in 2004. I was visiting a village near the coast with my wife and mother-in-law, delivering books for school children. We saw the sea was high in the distance, but suddenly people were running towards us. They didn’t know anything about tsunami, so when we asked them what was happening, they just said ‘the sea has come to land’. We ran away quickly. If we’d been 20 minutes later, the tsunami would have got us.”

Bringing up bats in the IPL

The development of young Australian cricketers hasn’t been quarantined from a fast-changing world. The difference from the system in the 1950s is dramatic but in recent years it’s occurred at a much quicker pace. The last exceptional Australian side began to disband when Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath retired in 2007. The first World T20 event was held later that year and up until then the development system for young Australian cricketers was evolving gradually. With the widespread growth of T20 leagues, the players now have an extra choice when it comes to earning a living and this also means having to choose a development direction from a more cluttered path. A young player now comes through a system that includes many structured net sessions, hours facing bowling machines or a coach wielding a “whanger”. All these sessions are closely monitored by a coach who has various technology aids to emphasise his point.

The system I grew up in had few structured net sessions and many hours of playing matches, whether they were in the backyard against my brother or at one of the many venues where pick-up games were available. There were no bowling machines, unless you count the thousands of balls thrown by our father, Martin. There were no whangers – we didn’t throw balls to the dog, we hit them and Champ gleefully chased them, diligently returning the missile – saliva and all – to his master.

The hours of playing matches were crucial in the development process. Without knowing it at the time, all sorts of information was being embedded in my brain which stood me in good stead when I later faced first-class and international bowlers. The coaching was at the weekend and it was from an excellent tutor in Lynn Fuller. This experience has led me to the conclusion that it is best to have good coaching, or none at all. Not having formal coaching allows a young cricketer to spend hours honing his skills and better understanding his own game. The careers of great players such as Sir Donald Bradman, Bill O’Reilly and Doug Walters all began in the bush where they unearthed their own particular way of developing skills.

As the modern young cricketer progresses, he reaches the stage of playing various level under-age matches and attending an academy. My academy was the backyard and the local playing fields. Soon after playing in my only under-age competition – an under 14 state carnival – I entered the realm of senior cricket, competing against men. This was a critical part of my development and it undoubtedly hastened my cricket education. On leaving school, I graduated to A-grade cricket in Adelaide where I competed with and against Test and interstate cricketers.

When Dennis Lillee walked into the Kingston Hotel in October of 1995, it was as if Dennis Lillee himself had walked into the Kingston Hotel. It was, for a Canberra kid, flat-out unbelievable. Dennis Lillee! In the Kingo! Our local! Even 26 years old and six schooners deep, I was the fan kid in Almost Famous when he clocks David Bowie. Lillee! It’s Dennis Lillee! My mate Pagey didn’t care. He bounded straight over. “Oi! Dennis Lillee!” declared Pagey and began yapping away like they were pals. And DK laughed at some bit of nonsense, and at the front of the bloke, and soon enough I was over there, in the great man’s orbit, shaking hands, unable to speak.

And he smiled that lop-sided Dennis Lillee smile, the one you’d seen on the beer ads, and said, “How are ya, son?” And I smiled back like a shy kid with Santa, and said nothing lest it come out a squeak. Mike Veletta was there too, laughing along with Pagey’s babble. Lillee’s fellow man of the west was in town to captain-coach the ACT Comets, the local boys playing their first season in the domestic one-day comp, the Mercantile Mutual Cup. Veletta was 31 and had played Tests and ODIs for Australia, and would’ve been a big enough deal for we cricket-mad locals. Turn up with Dennis Lillee and he was Mick Jagger’s wingman. Safe to say we didn’t get a lot of cricket in Canberra. Not the top stuff, anyway. We  did get the Prime Minister’s XI; Robert Menzies’ muse brought back to life by Bob Hawke because he knew Australians as John Singleton knew Australians. Singo knew what sold Winfield Blues and Tooheys Draught, and Hawkey knew what sold Hawkey. And in those days, as Kerry Packer would have attested with a vengeance, cricket sold. And those PM’s XI fixtures, for cricketstarved Canberrans, were magnificent.

The first one was against the mighty West Indies side of 1984. Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd, big Joel Garner, and all the rest of those ridiculous humans with their long limbs and languid moves, and other-worldly skill – they were so unbelievably cool. Their visit energised the town; the match was sold out. Three thousand people snuck in under the fence. Manuka Oval heaved. It was ridiculous: January day; hotter than hell. Man, it was good. Desmond Haynes fielded just in front of us, on the fence backward of square. He was our guy, diving around, smiling his head off. And every time he came back from some bit of adventure we’d cheer, “Dessie! You beauty!” And he’d laugh and wave, into it. It was so cool.

Kids were mad for those West Indians. For the Aussie team, too. A mate of a mate, Coyley, played locally for Easts and wore his cricket kit to the game: woolly jumper, thick white socks, Greg Chappell hat. And he stood outside the Australian team's dressing shed signing autographs. Quizzical kids lined up. Years later, a younger mate dug out his toy bat with all the autographs, and there between “Michael Holding” and “Greg Ritchie” was “Peter Coyle”. Out in the middle, another relatively anonymous cricketer, a squat Tasmanian called David Boon, was whacking big Joel down the ground on the way to 134. And in a summer in which the Windies’ quicks were more four-pronged killer attack squad than men, we bayed for this boy Boonie, and for the PM’s boys, and for Hawkey who’d made it happen. The great man took a walk inside the perimeter, lapping it up, a rubbery figure come to life, shamelessly in love with himself.

And we loved him for it. And Hawkey knew it. ScoMo? There can be only one. In 1990 came England, and mates and I had a gig selling ice creams at the PM’s XI. We worked out you could wedge a six-pack of VB in amongst the dry ice, and we’d sit there, watching cricket, selling Cornettos and sucking on VB stubbies. Now and again you’d chant “Ice cream!” and down they’d come, the people. And I got half-pissed watching Allan Border belt the Poms around Manuka. At stumps, I was paid 150 bucks cash. Still the greatest job I’ve ever had. Another was operating Manuka’s Jack Fingleton scoreboard. They’d brought it up from the MCG, plank by plank, this great, hulking old banger, heritage-listed. And mates and I would sit inside it, shirtless, sweating up a treat, drinking tinnies, watching cricket.

One day saw a young Michael Bevan belt a ton against Wayne “Cracker” Holdsworth, bowling heat for NSW seconds. Cracker was short, skiddy and rapid. He was Malcolm Marshall without the guile. And without the Malcolm Marshall. But he bolted in and let rip, Cracker. And he was quick. At least he was this day, bouncing Bevan and the Canberra boys. In the same match, Marty Haywood who’d taken plenty of Cracker because, truth be told, Bevo didn’t much fancy it – was run out in the shadows of stumps as Bevo scurried back to the non-striker’s end. And I can still hear Haywood’s bull moose roar of “craaaaap!” reverberating around the empty concrete stands of Manuka Oval. And I thought, “My but I love this game.” And I love this ground. And now Manuka’s got a Test match. Little Canberra has become.

Canberra has four distinct seasons. Autumn is dead leaves. Spring is blossoms. Winter is colder than Krakow by night. And summer is just hot. Broken Hill hot. It’s a dry, “bush” heat. It’s African savannah. It’s scorched earth. It’s stinkin’. And you played cricket in it because that’s just what you did. And you watched cricket. And you lived and loved it.

We played on “synthetic” wickets which were concrete strips overlaid by “AstroTurf” of various plumage. They could be bouncy as bejeezus. A top-edged cut shot would soar into space. Not a lot of seam. But bounce, baby, bounce. The turf wickets could be a bit how-you-goin’, as they say. Shades of the old MCG: shooters, bounders, rip-snorters. Ordinary, lot of ’em. And a lot of ordinary bowlers got wickets. Outfield grass was generally long because it was cold at night, and wouldn’t grow back if you cut it. Thus, batters did their best.

Yet a steady drip of first-class cricketers has come out of the joint, punctuated by the odd Michael Bevan and Brad Haddin. Greg Rowell bowled accurate fast-meds for NSW, Queensland and Tasmania. Wayne Andrews went to WA and played 91 Sheffield Shield games. Mark Higgs bowled left-arm wristspin and gave it a whack for the Blues, once belting 181 not against Queensland. Nathan Lyon came from Young to pilot Manuka’s mowers before doing the same at Adelaide after Les Burdett.

Largely, though, the very good ones stayed, big fish in a small pond. Few reasons: there were plenty of players like them in Sydney grade cricket; there wasn’t money enough to uproot a family to chase a dream; in Canberra there were public service jobs forever that gave you time off to play. And it was fun to play for the ACT.

Brad Bretland kept wicket for the ACT. You haven’t seen a bloke with quicker hands, whipping bails off standing up to the quicks. He played indoor cricket for Australia. Unbelievable eye, reflexes. Peter Solway holds the record for most games and runs for the ACT, and most games and runs in the ACT comp. He played in the PM’s XI of ’93-’94 alongside young guns Hayden, Langer, Ponting. Fellow local legend Greg Irvine played in the PM’s XI two days before Christmas 1987. Took 5/42 swinging the ball both ways before going down swinging in a run chase against Richard Hadlee, bookended in the batting order by ME Waugh, DW Hookes and AR Border. Solway says there were a couple of nibbles from Sydney but things were progressing nicely in Canberra. The Country Championships had kicked off. There were regular tours and second XI fixtures. And in ’95 came the Mercantile Mutual comp. “And I had a decent job, I was married,” he says. “It crossed my mind to move to Sydney. But I suppose I didn’t want it bad enough.” Was he good enough? Solway reckons he’d have backed himself. Yet the NSW team was a tough nut to crack. “The era I came through of under-17s and under-19s – and I don’t know if it put me off – but the NSW team was Taylor, Waugh, Waugh, McNamara and a heap of guys.

“I don’t regret [staying]. I’m happy with how things have panned out. Was I good enough? I dunno. I probably would’ve backed myself. But until you do, you don’t know.” Mike Veletta believes Solway was “easily” first-class level. “He was one of those great blokes who was happy doing what he was doing. He worked for the government, he was content, his family was entrenched in the community. There’s no doubt – temperament, nous, technique – he would’ve thrived at first-class level.” After Solway, Irvine and company, however, came a generation of cricketers for whom there was a genuine pathway and opportunity to play up. They were my generation – let’s call them the under-19s of ’89-’90. These talented ones could get amongst it at the AIS or the academy in Adelaide. Michael Bevan was of this generation. You played against Bevo, he was left-arm quick. Going across you, bending it back in – he was a bit bloody good, Bevo. Scary, even. A singular fellow, but a good fellah. He could bat, sure – but there were batters better.

One played in his own team – Huntley Armstrong, a Greg Ritchie-shaped belter with Shane Warne’s mullet. In a semi-final at Rivett Oval, my Woden Valley under-16s played Huntley’s Weston Creek. Bevo wasn’t playing, there was a soccer tournament on. But they still had plenty. Bunch of blokes would play U19s for ACT. But Huntley was the wicket.

On 20-odd on a ridiculously, freezing cold March day (truly, it was maybe six degrees, sleeting, wind-chill factor hideous), Huntley smashed our Laxman-wristed leg-spinner Michael Streat one thousand yards into space. I waited for it to come down. And waited. No-one thought I’d catch it – me included. Damn thing soared towards me like an ice comet. But I pouched it, somehow, and punched the air, and we knocked off the Creek, the hot faves. And all the dads said over again, “catches win matches”. And Huntley’s mum declared, “It’s all Michael Bevan’s fault!”

Week later in the grand final against St Edmund’s, another top player from that class of ’89, Marty Haywood, was on maybe 42 when he smashed Streaty high, and long, and way out to cow corner. And there waited I – The Hero of Rivett – underneath it. Beautiful day. Saw it all the way. Grassed the bastard. And watched our man Marty go on to plunder 157 not out and win the game. And that, as the cricket gods would tell you, is cricket.

Haywood went to Campbelltown and onwards to Mosman, where he captained the club for 20-some years. He would play 13 matches for NSW when the Waugh twins were playing for Australia. That was his competition in the Blues’ middle order: the bloody Waughs. Today, a good one would’ve gone to Tassie or somewhere. Haywood stayed and notched his highest score, 97, at the Junction Oval. And you play golf with him today and there’s longing behind his eyes. Huntley went to Adelaide and the academy there, and stayed on playing grade cricket. He played a couple of one-dayers for South hero of mine, David Hookes. Michael Bevan went to Sydney, and fashioned a fairly decent career in the game. Today there are several ex-Canberrans playing first-class cricket, such as Will Sheridan (Victoria), Jason Behrendorff (WA), Jason Floros (Queensland), Nick Winter (SA) and Tom Rogers (Tasmania). It’s always been the same – and it’s the same for those from Townsville, Geraldton, Innamincka – you want to be taken seriously, you leave. And until the ACT gets a Sheffield Shield team, that’s how it will stay. And that’s why they want one.

Mike Veletta had played 12 years of first-class cricket when it was put to him that he might like to captain-coach the fledgling one-day team called the ACT Comets in the Mercantile Mutual Cup. There was a job in property with a reputable firm. There was a chance to learn about coaching. It ticked a few boxes. But jeez, it was different to Perth. “They flew my wife and I over to Canberra in July, and you can imagine the weather,” Veletta remembers. “It was horrible. Four days later we got on the flight home, my wife said, ‘Thanks for that – I don’t need to see any more.’

“A month later we were there.” The move was still a punt for Veletta. The Comets were still an idea, there wasn’t actual confirmation that they’d be a firstclass entity. Yet he rocked up for pre-season training and learned things were done a little differently in the Bush Capital.

“I was told the first pre-season game was always against Manly, and they’d always stay at the Steyne Hotel,” says Veletta. “It wasn’t going to be a typical cricket tour. So we played against Manly and spent a long weekend at the pub! It was pointless going to bed early. It was a great way to get to know your team-mates and a great introduction to ACT cricket.”

Veletta was allocated a local club, Weston Creek, and was expected to dominate. Yet conditions were so different to Perth that he battled. “The pitches were average, really. Average bowlers could get wickets. It took me a while to work it out.” But he grew to love it. He was captaining guys for whom the interstate one-day competition would be the highlight of their careers. He found it refreshing that people played for love alone, and were proud to represent a tight-knit community.

Yet after three seasons and 18 one-day matches, the Comets were axed. Solway blames politics. And Cricket Australia. And a few other things. “Cricket Australia [then the Australian Cricket Board] showed a lack of vision,” Solway says. “It was shortsighted. It was voted on by states thinking about what they had to lose rather than the good of Australian cricket. Denis Rogers from Tasmania was chairman of the board. He drove it. Tasmania and South Australia were thinking about what they had to lose.

“We had players coming to Canberra to get an opportunity. Instead of going to Tassie, they were coming here. We were always keen to play first-class cricket. And I reckon it scared people. “But more teams wouldn’t weaken the standard. Australia’s had the same six state teams forever. Cricket’s set in its ways. And look how we’re going.” The Comets had their supporters. Alan Crompton was one. Geoff Lawson was coach of NSW and saw the ACT as a good destination for kids from his region of Wagga Wagga and the Riverina.

“I asked people on the cricket board why the team was axed and their responses were very political,” says Veletta. “It didn’t make sense. In regional cricket, the ACT could’ve played a huge role. I always thought for all the country guys between Sydney and Melbourne, the one-day comp would’ve been a great stepping stone.” In terms of cricket competition, though, the territory was, and remains, a fairly poor cousin to the metropolitan centres. It’s seen as a nudge above the comps in Newcastle, Ballarat, Sunshine Coast. Sydney boys will tell you Futures League games against the ACT are like hard first-grade games. Good cricket – nothing you can’t cop.

Today the Comets – which played its last, first-class 50-over matches in February of 2000 – are the ACT/NSW Country Comets and play List A Futures League fixtures against state second XIs, academies, and various mobs of young turks. Locals lament that the Comets are a de facto NSW side. Trent Copeland recently played “back”. There was a Comets teams that played recently, didn’t have any ACT players in it. And this when Sydney grade cricket’s yearning for their people. One assumes Pat Howard’s KPIs are being ticked. “It disappoints me that the Futures comp is ACT and NSW combined,” says Veletta.

More on IPL can be found on https://iplnewslatest.blogspot.com/