#anyways ... anon that asked for more angst this one is dedicated to you!

[osddakito]

reunited

[pomelace]

a piece of sweetness

pairing: frank langdon x afab!intern reader

content warnings: no physical desciptors used for reader, reader is an intern, doesn't take place during the shows timeline, emotional distress and grief, guilt, vulnerability, little bit of angst, patient death, let me know if I missed anything!

magui speaks! : this is dedicated to anon who asked for more langdon fics. thank you for the request! this is part 2 of mouse and the redbull, part 3 will be out soon. I wrote this rather than study for my chem exam, so call me dedicated. as always, I hope you enjoy, and requests are always open.

word count: 2436

It's been weeks since the Red Bull. Weeks of long shifts and caffeine-stained charts, of you silently handing him pen lights and IV kits before he even asks. You're still the same—quiet, precise, invisible to most—but not to Frank.

He notices everything.

The way you tuck your pen behind your ear when you're focused.

The way you always triple-check every patient's med list.

The way you look up at him when you're unsure—but never ask.

He doesn’t say anything. He never does.

Words were never necessary with him.

Which is why it catches you off guard when Dr. Robby corners you before rounds, his voice too casual to mean nothing.

“You’re with me today,” he says, hands tucked into the pockets of his worn sweater.

You blink. “I’m usually with Dr. Langdon.”

“I know,” he replies, eyes already scanning his notes. “But you’ve been glued to him for weeks. Time to mix it up. Get to know the rest of us. Frank’s overdue to teach someone else anyway.”

You nod—because that’s what you do. But something settles heavy in your chest as you take your place among the others.

Frank doesn’t say anything when you fall in next to him. Just glances over—quick, unreadable—and then turns back to Dr. Robby as he launches into the morning briefing.

Maybe words were never necessary.

But this silence feels different. Louder. Sharper around the edges.

You half expect him to lean in, to say something under his breath—I’ll talk to Robby, or You’ll be back tomorrow—but he doesn’t.

He just lets the space stretch between you, like it means nothing at all.

𐔌 ﹒ ⋆ ꩜ ⋆ 𓂃 ₊ ⊹

Robby is patient.

He moves like he’s got fire in his lungs—sharp, deliberate, always ten steps ahead. He commands a room with a single glance, and somehow still finds time to teach you between traumas.

“Now I see why Frank kept you all to himself,” he said, showing you how to crack a chest like he’d done it a hundred times in his sleep

You learn a lot with him. He makes sure of it. But still—you’re always a half-second behind. Reacting instead of anticipating. You miss the rhythm you had with Frank, the silent sync only the two of you seemed to share.

You don’t realize how deeply you’ve adapted to him until you have to unlearn it.

When Robby asks for a kit, your hands stall. You hesitate—just long enough to feel it.

You’re not sure which one he means.

Frank wouldn’t have had to ask.

Robby doesn’t notice the pause—or if he does, he doesn’t say anything. He just points and keeps going, his voice calm but clipped, already three steps ahead again.

You hand him the right kit. Eventually. But the moment sticks with you.

With Frank, it was different. There were no words, just glances and gestures, and somehow you always knew what came next. He never needed to explain. You were in sync.

Now, every command feels like a test. Every silence feels like something you’re supposed to fill. You push through it. Robby is kind, in his own brisk way. He teaches well. He even smiles sometimes.

But at the end of the shift, when your scrubs are soaked through and your hands smell like antiseptic, it isn’t him you’re thinking about.

It was Frank.

And how, for the first time in weeks, he hadn’t even looked at you in the hallway.

You passed him again and again during shifts, but he didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Even when you were forced onto the same case, he moved around you like you weren’t there—focused solely on guiding his new intern, never sparing you so much as a glance.

You tried to ignore it—the tight pull in your stomach, the quiet ache that settled behind your ribs.

But it was there. Growing. Whispering.

Maybe you’d done something wrong.

You never asked. You couldn’t. Every time you stood near him—tried to spark even the smallest conversation—he found a reason to walk away. A clipped excuse, a sudden task, always without looking at you.

Eventually, you stopped trying.

And with time, you began to accept the quiet truth: maybe you’d never work with him again. The thought settled in your chest like something heavy, something final.

Days blurred into weeks. Weeks where your schedule bounced between Dr. Robby and Dr. Collins—never Langdon.

Not once.

You stopped expecting to see him during rounds. Stopped looking for him across the nurses’ station or listening for his voice during consults. You forced yourself to focus on the work—on Robby’s fast-paced cases and Collins’ long-winded lectures about doing the best thing for a patient.

But some habits die harder than others.

You still felt it—his absence. Not just the lack of words, but the missing weight of him at your side. The way you used to anticipate each other without speaking.

It was like losing a limb and learning how to walk again.

And you were having a hard time keeping yourself upright.

You haven’t been yourself today.

It starts with the wrong dosage on a chart—caught just in time, but still. Then a missed page. Then a patient, mid-thirties, chest pain, eyes wide with fear—and you swear you’re doing everything right.

You double-check vitals, repeat the ECG, call for backup, but nothing you do is enough. Minutes later, they code. And you can’t get them back.

It’s not your first loss. But for some reason, this one sits differently in your chest. Low. Heavy. Like wet concrete.

Dr. Robby assures you that there wasn't anything anyone could've done, that the patient was as good as dead the moment they were wheeled into the ER, but no words could help you forget the sound of the flatline.

The rest of the shift spirals after that.

Minor mistakes. Snapped words. You keep moving, but nothing feels like it lands right. It’s like you’re watching yourself from a few feet away, trying to climb back into your own skin and failing.

No one says anything, but you know they notice.

And Frank notices the most.

From the moment you lose your patient, you can feel his eyes on you, though he never approaches. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t offer the usual reassuring confidence or distractions. Instead, he just watches—quietly, from a distance. And in that silence, you realize he sees it.

The cracks in your composure, the raw edges of your mind starting to fray. It’s a subtle thing, but you feel it all the same. He sees you breaking, even when you wish he wouldn’t.

You catch a nurse stealing a glance your way after you mutter a curse under your breath, watching as your coffee turns cold and bitter in your hands.

A resident steps in, offering to take over a case you were already halfway through, his voice too bright, too eager.

You shake your head, brushing him off, but the tension in your shoulders is too tight. You finish it anyway, fingers unsteady as you sign the discharge papers, the ink smearing slightly across the form.

The weight of it lingers in your hands, like a reminder of everything that’s slipping through your fingers.

By the time 9 p.m. rolls around, you've disappeared—found a forgotten stairwell tucked between ICU and radiology, where silence is the only company you’re willing to keep.

You sit on the cold concrete steps, elbows braced on your knees, head cradled in your hands. You're not crying. Not yet. Just still. Just quiet. Just trying to feel something that isn't the hollow static in your skull.

The door creaks open behind you, the sound scraping through the silence.

You don’t move.

The footsteps are slow, deliberate—familiar. You know them without having to look.

“Mouse?”

You don’t lift your head. You don’t even flinch.

He steps closer, hesitant, careful.

“Everyone’s looking for you. Robby thought you left.”

You shake your head, slow and deliberate, keeping your chin tucked low.

“I just needed... a second.”

A long beat of silence. Frank doesn’t answer immediately, and for a moment, you think maybe he’ll leave, or maybe he’ll keep pretending he’s been too busy to notice.

Instead, he lowers himself onto the step beside you. The space between you both is filled with nothing but the distant hum of the hallway, the pounding of your own heart.

“You’ve been off today,” he says quietly. Not a question. Not an accusation. Just a simple observation.

“Rough shift?” he adds, his voice laced with something too close to pity.

It almost sounds absurd—the way he asks, knowing full well the answer. He was there, he saw it all. Watched as you fought, as you tried to save a life only to lose it in the end.

You nod, the movement stiff, like your neck can’t bear the weight of the day. Your breath is shaky, fighting the edge of something sharp and brittle that threatens to break free.

He sits beside you, close enough for you to feel his presence but not so close as to invade. He doesn’t ask you anything else, doesn’t offer words you don’t want.

He just sits. Silent. Watching.

You hate how easy it is for him to be there, like nothing’s wrong, like you’re just two people passing through the same space, when all you want to do is scream.

“I heard about your patient,” he says quietly.

Your throat tightens like a fist around your windpipe.

“You heard about it, or you saw it?” you whisper, your voice frayed. It’s not really a question. You already know the answer.

He doesn’t respond right away. Just sits there, the silence stretching until it almost snaps. When he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost hoarse.

“I should’ve said something. Back then.”

He hesitates, then adds, “It’s hard… losing a patient. I should’ve—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you cut in, sharper than you mean to be.

He flinches like he expected it—but it still hits.

The stairwell is cold. Quiet again, except for the hum of a vending machine two floors down and your own heartbeat in your ears.

Frank breathes out slowly. You don’t look at him, but you feel the shift in the air, the way his body curls forward, like he’s trying to close the space between you without touching it.

“I know it doesn’t change anything,” Frank says after a moment, voice low, like he's afraid to disrupt the fragile stillness you've wrapped around yourself.

“But I wanted you to hear it from me.”

You don’t answer. The silence feels safer—less brittle than any words you might try to force past the knot in your throat.

“You did everything you could.”

His voice is soft, careful—like he’s reaching for you with it, like he thinks if he says it gently enough, you might believe him.

Like he wants to cradle the sharp edges of your grief with something that won’t cut.

You shake your head, still staring down at your hands, at the scuffs on your shoes, at the floor that hasn’t moved but somehow still feels like it’s tilting.

“It wasn’t enough.”

He lets out a long, slow breath, his hands clasped loosely between his knees, the pads of his fingers pressing into each other like he needs the grounding.

“Sometimes it isn’t,” he murmurs.

“Even when it should be.”

You nearly flinch at that—almost say, but it still happened. You almost tell him that your hands haven’t stopped shaking since you called time of death, that your brain feels stuffed with cotton, thick and useless, and you can't think clearly enough to even cry.

But nothing comes out.

You just shake your head again, smaller this time.

Frank turns slightly toward you, glancing out of the corner of his eye.

“You have to be kinder to yourself,” he says, and it’s so quietly earnest it almost stings.

You nod, though it’s automatic.

Eventually, you glance at him. He’s not looking at you—just staring straight ahead, his jaw tight, his eyes unfocused like he’s watching something only he can see.

“You’ve lost patients before,” you say, your voice hoarse.

“How do you not let it break you?”

He lets out a breath of a laugh—low, bitter, hollow.

“Who said it doesn’t?”

That silences you. Again.

A minute ticks by. Then he shifts slightly, reaching into the pocket of his jacket. He pulls out a crumpled paper bag and, without a word, sets it gently in your lap.

You blink at it, confused, your fingers hesitating on the edge.

“It’s a cinnamon roll,” he says, like it’s obvious. “From that place you like. Still warm.”

You stare down at it, stunned.

“I didn’t even know you—”

“You mentioned it once,” he says, cutting you off, almost sheepish.

“Weeks ago. Said they don’t dry them out like the cafeteria does.”

Your throat tightens, but it’s different this time—not grief. Something softer, warmer, tugging at your chest.

“I figured… if you weren’t gonna eat or sleep tonight, you should at least have sugar.”

You let out a faint, broken laugh. It doesn’t quite reach your eyes, but it’s real. He nudges your knee gently with his own.

“You’re allowed to be human, mouse. Even the best interns have days like this.”

“Not like this,” you murmur, still staring at the bag in your lap.

He tilts his head, finally meeting your eyes.

“Especially like this.”

You tear open the bag, the scent hitting you instantly—cinnamon, vanilla, that warm yeasty sweetness. You break off a piece and hand it to him wordlessly.

He takes it without hesitation and eats in silence, like this is routine, like sharing a cinnamon roll in a stairwell at the end of the worst day isn’t the most intimate thing you’ve done in weeks.

You sit together for a while like that. Just two tired, wrung-out people in the quiet hollow of a hospital, letting the sugar and the silence do what they can.

Eventually, your voice returns. “Thanks.”

He glances at you, chewing. Swallows.

“For the cinnamon roll?”

You shake your head.

“For finding me.”

He looks at you then. Really looks at you. For a moment longer than necessary.

“You’re my favorite, remember?” he says, voice gentler than you’ve ever heard it.

“I keep track of the things I care about.”

And for a moment, you forget. Forget the coldness he kept between you for weeks, the silence that hung like a heavy curtain.

All you feel is the warmth of the cinnamon roll in your hands, and the quiet tenderness in his voice when he says he cares—about the small things, about you.

©pomelace 2025

[trefacot]

„𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭”

Alucard x reader drabble

angst ︳comfort ︳female reader

── before reading: This is a request post from anon ,,i was wondering how alucard would be in a relationship with someone who does love him very dearly, but simply can't bring themself to believe he loves them the same..." and here I am. Also the pressure is here, because It is my first request so...hope you'll like it!!

I was listening to this while writing and It's just *chefs kiss* https://youtu.be/R_iPZC4AW38?si=PYWs-SCKo_JO8NEC

── summary: you got asked about when are you going to get married and It stirs something uneasy in your heart.

── warnings (?): reader is insecure and grew up in an orphanage

word count: 933

enjoy.

Like all of the valuable things in this cold, cruel world, love is not easy to achieve. There is some sort of sacred balance in which not everything can be adored. Some things exist just for the sake of filling the empty space. They might only observe the mystery of a true love. Other ones are meant to take your breath away, give meaning to everything they touch or simply lay eyes on.

That's what you've been told.

„Don't expect too much”

„Don't expect what you cannot afford”

„Don't expect what you're not worthy of”

Growing up in a orphanage was not as alienating as people like assume. Of course, when you get asked about it you can't do anything but just put a frail smile on. Nobody favors this. You wouldn't have chosen it, either. While not being the most considerate people you have met, the nuns who supervised your ''home'' were at least fair. If you earned something, you were more than positive you would get it.

„So...when are my absolute favorite dovies are going to get married? I miss weddings so much since my sister's-” Said a fellow bartender from your local bar. At this instance you weren't listening anymore. Marriage? Dear Lord. It's not like you've been with Adrian for this long...or were you?

Time with him appeared so unlike anything else. When you two first met, you were convinced he was your new meaning. Asking him to take you with him after your village was massacred by vampires felt like a new starting point. You would lie, If you said you weren't thrilled that he actually agreed. After all, was there anything peculiar about you? Just a poor young lady with no close relatives and a foolish dream of witnessing the world. But he saved you anyway, liberating you from your grim reality.

You had to gain knowledge quick, be wiser with each day. The absolute last thing you wanted to be seen as was a burden. You remembered that you could earn anyone's respect with hard work. For Alucard it was quite an unfamiliar sight. He had been wandering around the world for decades, but he never saw anyone so dedicated as you until you met. He was already lonely, so it felt like you were meant to be.

Not soon after, you started to see him as something quite distinct from your mentor. His sharp features, yet delicate smile, reminded you of princes from romance books you weren't authorized to read but did it anyway. Every time you touched, mostly accidentally, you felt something soothing inside you. But you couldn't confess. No, you haven't earned yourself a right to love just yet.

So you worked. Every single day, you were giving your whole self for those depressed people from the village you and Alucard settled in. You had a lot of compassion for those in need, especially children. But it was not your main motivator. Seeing a dazzling smile on his adorable face was enough to make you carry mountains. He seemed to had found a solace in his life. It was all you wished for him after learning about his heartbreaking past. Somewhere in searching for his fulfillment, you forgot about your countless lonely nights in the orphanage. Why would you even think about that place? This was not your home anymore. He was your shelter.

In moments like this, when you were caressing Adrian's silky hair while he was laying on your lap, your mind was wandering into one place. How could he seriously care for you? It's cruel to assume he suggested you becoming his life partner while not loving you, but...that is how you felt. To you, there was no reason to stare at you and think of anything else than nothing. That is what you were. Useful, nothing.

„What is bothering you, my dear?” Those golden eyes had been already piercing you through when you looked at your partner's face. Little did you know, he was more than aware of what you thought about yourself. He could hear your quiet sniffles on sleepless nights. He listened to every remark you made to yourself when you thought he was not around.

„It's just...” And for a brief moment you considered telling him everything you were hiding for this whole time. You could have cried about the way you felt like a prisoner of your own expectations. But you couldn't possibly disturb this dreamlike world you've built with him. You didn't want to disrupt his happiness. „I am a bit worn out” that is all you said.

He rose, sitting right beside you. After a minute that felt like an eternity, you felt a cool, yet firm hold on your hand „Don't you know you mean everything to me?” and his words felt like a dagger right through your guts. This could not be possible.

You felt tears slowly gathering in the corners of your eyes. „Please...don't” His face tilted a bit, to have a better view over yours. It was shattering his soul. How could somebody who was so warmhearted, so clever, so gorgeous ever feel this way?

You felt an embrace forming around you. But you felt drained. There wasn't anything particularly left after you transferred everything to him. It was a fate you have chosen for yourself and wouldn't trade for no possessions in this world. His happiness made you meaningful.

Before pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, he said something that made you no longer able to hold back tears.

„Don't cry, you're perfect”.

fin.

[tojiscrack]

there’s so many things i love about your fic but one thing i specifically love that doesn’t have much to do with your fic is probably the community. like every person that comes into your asks, including the funny anons, feels like family idk STOP I SOUND SO CORNY BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEANNNN. like 1l-ynn’s (i think that’s her username) hatred for anyone that comes in between megumi and y/n is so funny, THE MALAKAI SHIPPING PHASE, THE RANDOM ANON THAT STARTED RAPPING IN UR ASKS, stanheightis stressing out every now and then about the angst is so real, kickingcat’s beautiful artwork as well as azr3na’s, mercupinesspring’s tiktok page dedicated to liar,liar which i stalk with my private account haha. i’m trying to think of the others but yeah, like the community is so beautiful and i think i’m gonna miss that more than anything when the fic eventually ends 🥲

i love u guys i can’ttttt

liar, liar masterlist here:

tagging everyone you mentioned so they see this ‘cause they absolutely deserve to know how special and precious they are, not only to me, but apparently to you too. it’s so absolutely true, my fav thing about writing the series this past year is the growing community 😭🩵

@1l-ynn @stanheightis @kickingcat @azr3na @mercupinesspring

the malakai hate was so incredibly funny to me bc he was never gonna be a second love interest. like, ever 💀 that’d make this megumi/reader story just be crack upon crack, and ik i prioritise comedy over romance in this romcom, but there’s a limit, yk 😭 and it was just funny to be given a taster of how certain ppl feel about a second love interest being introduced at all before i’d even introduced the real one, might i add

with that, watching ppl stress about the angst tag before it had even arrived (it’s still not here, curtesy of my hiatus 😇) was also the funniest thing ever. i’d wake up every morning with a new ask in my inbox stressing about NOTHING. like a singular person even held enough stress for the entire community, and then some 😭

the artwork i’ve received over the last few months have been collected into a google doc that’s how obsessed with them i am, ready to be printed out bc i genuinely meant it when i said i’d do just that for my room 😋 we made it to a point where we can appoint ppl as LL’s co-illustrators, which 16 year old me, who was drafting the first chapter a year and a bit ago, wouldn’t have even predicted such a thing and i’m so grateful bc wdym they were able to make malakai look good? ☹️🩵

their versions of y/n are so beautiful too 😭

and LL content being cross-posted to tiktok? i felt like an old person when i first saw the page and went through the memes made about my story (it’s like old ppl laughing at their own joke) 😀 my fav is definitely malakai core, and the video with ‘how i want megumi to react whenever another guy speaks to y/n’ or smth like that (along those words) 🤭

honourable mentions too bc these guys could never be forgotten by me:

@shaigimo @princesssparklesprinkle @reinaswrld @cutesolecita @britishfailure @b4tm4nn @reocidal @jelly-fsh @miffysmittens @anonymity-222 @crisis-unaverted @sl1004 @watermelonlover905 @loffagirl @seoups @awriterinthenight @ist0leurc0ffee @biancaackerman @2ukika @julieannah @missunrise @briezy04764 @jvpit3rr @sfmegumi @nappingnai @evergumi @crimsonhallucinations @femtaktsfilosofi @manmuncher777

+ more ofc, i’m genuinely trying hard to remember everyone from the top of my head but it’s a little hard given how fast LL is growing.

this doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten any of you that i haven’t mentioned! just means i got lazy and needed to wrap this sappy response up, but i promiseeee i’m well aware of who’s here and who’s not 🤗 the people above have also had several interactions with me, so it’s easier to remember ppl who you speak to on a daily 🥲

i thank the silent readers for still being here anyway. the LL community wouldn’t be thriving without ur support too <3

also if i’ve tagged you and you wish to not be tagged even in sappy posts, just lmk, i’ll know not to do it in future haha 😧

but anyways… in conclusion, i agree. i can’t wait to return to all my children (you guys) in late june ☹️ the only reason why i’m simultaneously dreading it is ‘cause it means my exams would be here but oh well 😭

k gonna end it here ‘cause this is too sappy ew 🙄 (💕)

[shotmrmiller]

yeah the blurb about 22!Simon going to a hotel for a quickie hit me in the HEART I was shocked. To me, the comeback from that would be almost impossible. Genuinely, reader is MARRIED to simon even if it's not in this universe. She's dedicated to this man. He hasn't taken the same vow and doesn't owe her anything in 22verse, but to KNOW this woman, who was your wife in another life, is living with you and cares for you and to still go have a one night stand and flaunt that? Nothing short of either monumental amounts of groveling and therapy or a MIRACLE is gonna fix that.

Poor reader, too, who is just doing her best! She didn't ask to lose her dear husband, she didn't ask to be shoved into 22verse, where this Simon isn't her husband. She's just making do with what she's given, and she hasn't asked Simon for more than he is willing to give (she loves him, but knows that he's different, he doesn't know her, he can't love her yet). And then he does that? Oo.

Anyway I'm glad another anon brought that up bc Whooo I think we all glossed over that too fast (I'm glad it's not technically canon to this work, bc that's a lot more angst than reader deserves)

i don't think i could even fix that because there is no coming back from that, imo. it's too cruel, and even though 09 wife does love simon, i believe that she knows to not be where she isn't wanted.

as much as it might hurt, no reason on this planet would justify her taking that from him.

cut your losses and move on.

she already lost her husband, so her best option at this point is to continue to live her life like he's still dead. even if he has a living counterpart in this world.

which is why i kind of liked her trying to find a way out.

she sat in a bathtub full of warm water and either woke in her own world or joined her husband wherever he went.

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

CHAPTER ONE - WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

a/n: hey y'all! so, I tried to post this in response to the anon who asked for a snippet but I saved it as a draft and Tumblr ate it😭 SO THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU, ANON, WHOEVER YOU ARE!! sorry babes!💔💖💖💖💖

its been a minute since I've written anything fully, this was fun!!! as always, please ignore any grammar/syntax/spelling. I proof read it but you feel me. I'm super excited to be writing something so long and multi chaptered and definitely out of my comfort zone! am I an action girly now? LMFAO but anyway, I'm super open to any feedback and 👀 as always, if you wanna see sum, say sum.

anyway, I love my science gays and I will stan shuriri forever. this is pretty much all angst at this point❤️‍🩹, but I truly hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. lmk how you feel.💗 (and yes, I love a good flashback real bad and ima do it every time if I can. not too much on me LMFAO)

✮ taglist: @mybonafidefeelings@zeezeecave@gr00vyminibus@lppriceisright@darkangelchronicles@princessmel-1995@xenaizogie@nanii2x, and tagging a few folks that enjoyed the sneak peak and a few shuriri/shuri/riri folks who might! @karimwillia @inmyheadimobsessed@mal-urameshi@somethingcleaverandwhitty@imjusthere2readbruv@imagineandwrite there's more but my computer glitching so we gonna get this show on the road! lmk if you'd like to join the taglist or check the link in my tagged post! love y'all, muah

✮ word count: 11,193

✮ panther divider: @firefly-graphics

✮ some of the xhosa translations are from @iinkonde! here's where you can find some of their amazing resources: 1 2 3

Shuri paced the room that seemed to be growing smaller by the millisecond around her, searching for something - anything - inside of the brain most people considered the smartest in the universe to offer the scientist in front of her. She found nothing but the desperation she had been pushing down since the moment they met.

A desperation that mirrored the effects of the herb she had reproduced, also made from the desperation to save something that she felt was slipping through her fingers at the time. Just like the herb had found its way through her body when she first took it, this feeling spread from her throat as she choked when their eyes met as she pushed herself into the dorm room she was once again standing in. Down to her chest, pulling heart strings she didn’t know she had. Plucking them in a rhythm that felt intrinsic, ancestral, almost painful in the way that they made everything feel superimposed. She resisted, but she felt her toes and she felt her finger tips and she felt the curls framing her face dance above her eyes ever so gently. It spread through every atom that comprised the panther and she could barely breathe. She felt everything and she felt nothing, like she was sinking in an ocean of clouds. She could barely look at the woman who was staring back at her with a look of confusion, and an equal desperation that she couldn't explain.

Shuri still had nothing to offer in terms of speech. She paced at a speed that had only just registered as super fucking fast, clearly adding to the concern building in Riri's eyes.

"Shuri-" Riri started, but couldn't even try to finish as her voice had triggered the awaiting and building eruption in Shuri that it always did. Riri, if she did anything to Shuri, she made her feel things she wasn't used to feeling.

"Anything you want, just name it. It's yours. I'll make it happen. I'll build it myself. Just please don't do this. Please." Shuri froze in her place, finding herself begging for something she couldn't explain. She knew she was almost yelling at the other woman, which she would never do but she couldn't find the part of her that could compose herself. She was thankful for the kimoyo beads she had scattered in the room when she entered, enabling a silencing mode and cutting through anything that the government had tapped in Riri's room.

Riri froze too, only moving to fumble with her fingers nervously. She didn't have anything to offer the panther, the queen standing in front of her. She didn't have anything to comfort her friend. The woman she loved more than she could explain. More than almost anything. 

"I don't... I don't want anything from you, Shuri... We both knew this day was coming. You had to have thought about it. I thought you were.. I don’t know... It almost felt like-"

"Please, Ri. Please. Just find something and I'll do it. I'll make it myself if I have to. Please just find something else."

"I don't want... I don't understand, Shuri. We only talked about this like twice, I didn't even think you cared that much or even had time to care about it... or me, really. Just... lets just sit down for a second." Riri tried to redirect, trying to give herself time to figure out what was going on. She felt her mind trying to run back through memories and conversations the two had shared in the past year and some change, but it was few and far between that they ever really had time to talk about their lives in depth lately. At first, they talked a lot after they had finally reconnected. They had even spent a few nights together. But lately, Shuri had been working a lot and it seemed like their connection was running dry. Riri had shared her plans a few months ago and hadn't really heard much back from the woman standing in front of her looking like she was fighting a battle she wasn't sure she'd win. Riri had committed herself to this, to showing up and doing what she felt she needed to do to make up for all the ruin she had caused - or at least what she thinks she caused. And now Shuri was trying to offer her a chance out of it. She didn't know what to do or what to think. That's something she felt often with the panther, she figured out. She had zoned out for only a split second before Shuri was grabbing her wrists and looking in her eyes.

"Riri, I'm begging you." Shuri stared into the Iron Heart's eyes, searching for something she knew she was missing. Something she needed the way she needed air, she felt. Riri searched back, trying to decipher something Shuri wasn't ready to let her see.

"Shuri, you know I feel responsible... But, I just.. I don't understand what's going on. What's wrong? Please just talk to me. It's okay." Riri tried to pull them closer, tried to grab the Panther's hand but her grip was too tight around her wrists. Shuri relaxed it, she hadn't intentionally been holding on so tight but she wasn't ready to let go. She's never been ready to let go of who she loves. She saw that same resolute look in Riri's eyes that was always there when she was sure about something. It broke something in Shuri that she knew she couldn't mend on her own. One final try, she told herself.

"I will give you anything under the sun. Please just don't go to them. Don’t go to him. I- I know you're trying to help and change things for the better, and you will. But not like this. Not until it's safe. He will find you, Riri. He will do anything to get to you and to get back at me. You know this and you still choose to go? You don’t have to make this easy for him. We can figure this out a different way. Please. I will give you access to all the technology Wakanda has to offer, just please find something else to focus on, to take place of this. Please."

Riri tried to pull her closer again but the panther moved back, sending a shiver of rejection up Riri's spine.

"I don't want anything from you, Shuri... I just want you. I- I mean I just want you to-"

Shuri felt her body getting hot and somehow freezing at the same time. Riri just wanted her? But she also wanted to go on this suicide mission, which is what it was regardless of what Riri thought of it. She fought back the defensiveness she felt crawling up her throat like it always did when she was hurt. She didn't want to lash out on Riri, she only wanted to protect her. She only wanted her to be safe, alive. She only wanted her. But it was to no avail. She felt the ferocious beast pull itself through her. She scorned herself as her words burned their way through her skin, landing on Riri's.

"You just want whatever you want. You just want to fight whatever moral war you have going on because you're the one who survived! You would give up your life for what? For who? Not for my mother! Not for me!"

Riri hadn't noticed the tears stinging down her cheeks until she saw the ones pouring out of Shuri's. It was something she had never seen before. She had seen Shuri lash out, though. She knew this was just the first wall of defense the panther had when she felt hurt, afraid, abandoned. She couldn't take this personally, though she had to fight back the sting of the words as they came at her. She reached out to try and touch the woman in front of her.

"Shuri, please. Let's just ta-"

"What?! Sit and talk? For what? For you to tell me again why you have to do this, why you have to go and die? Do you care so little for me? For yourself?"

"You know that's not true!"

"Why wouldn't it be true?! Ungayenza njani le nto kum!?"

"Please just listen to me! I don't know what's going on but we can talk about it! I'm right here, I'm right here!"

"But you won't be after this! You don't have to do this! Just let me try, let me show you that there's other things to give you purpose, there’s other ways we can handle this! PLEASE!" Shuri felt herself starting to cave in, her chest becoming a cavern filled with the screams of the orphaned girl inside of her. The girl who needed her family. The girl who couldn't save her brother. The girl who was held back from her mother as she drowned. The woman who loves women, specifically the woman in front of her who was planning to give herself up. She couldn't keep it together. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think.

"That's not for you to decide, Shuri!" Riri shot back, starting to feel the same layer of armor pull itself over her. She didn't like being yelled at. It triggered something in her that she herself had pushed back as far as it would go. She just needed to get Shuri to listen to her.

"I don't care! You can't do this Riri!"

"Please stop yelling at me!" Riri gave in, covering her ears and turning her back to the panther, who felt herself go still. She hadn't meant to unleash this part of herself. She felt embarrassment mixing with her desperation, afraid she had only made things worse. Who was she to be trying to control the actions of a woman she only met a little over a year ago? Who she was just friends with, and barely that if you based it off what normal friendships looked like. They rarely even spoke for longer than a few minutes every couple days and that wasn’t even true anymore. Shuri scorned herself for the time she hadn’t spent with her, for the time she had been forced to spend trying to fix, defend or save her country. She resented her royal blood now more than ever, wishing she could be nothing more than a girl again. Maybe a student. Maybe just different. Shuri felt herself starting to crack, she felt like she would disintegrate if she stood there any longer. She had done enough damage. She and Wakanda and the Talokan had put Riri through enough and she knew that. She could see why Riri would think this guilt was hers to bare but Shuri knew better, knew more secrets. She knew that her father and his father and so on hadn’t handled things right, and no matter the good T’Challa had tried to do - maybe he didn’t do it right either. So now it laid in her hands, forced once again to stand in the way of something she wasn’t ready for. She felt bad for herself, but she felt worse for Riri. She wishes she had never sent her home with the beads, that they had never touched hands, that they had never even met. Maybe if no one ever knew about Vibranium, no one would be trying to take it. Or maybe if the world had always known, if her ancestors had done things differently, this wouldn’t be Riri’s life. She was part of the lost tribe, as N’Jadaka would call it. Maybe he was right. She didn’t know what to think, but she also knew who she was, herself. She was the most powerful person on the surface world and she was the Queen of the most powerful nation in the world. And she was in love, helplessly, with Riri Williams. She would not let her go again.

"I am sorry for coming here and making you upset." Shuri said blankly, masking any emotions she had just shattered into the room as best as she could to regain any self control she had left.

Riri turned around, tears still swelling in her eyes. She hiccuped and it made Shuri's heart pound.

"I-it's okay. I just don't like b-being yelled at. Can we just sit and talk?"

Shuri nodded, knowing Riri needed a minute. Riri turned to grab a blanket off her bed to wrap herself in as she took a seat on the floor in front of her bed. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths before motioning to Shuri to sit next to her. Shuri stared at her for a moment too long, before kneeling down next to her. They sat in silence that wasn't comfortable for the first time in a long time. Neither missed this feeling, the feeling of such uncertainty between them. Sure, it was always there, biting at the backs of their minds and hearts. But they had both worked hard to be comfortable with just having what they had. But now more than ever, neither was sure what was really going on. Shuri mirrored Riri, taking a few deep breaths. Riri felt herself relax, misreading the quiet sigh Shuri let out.

"Are we okay? I don't want us to fight. I just... need you to help me understand why you're so upset. It didn't seem like you even really cared about this. I know you've been busy with what you have going on so I just figured this... I.. wasn't really on your radar anymore."

Shuri stayed silent, fighting that feeling nudging her.

"Please say something." Riri pleaded quietly after a few too many more moments of silence. She couldn't stand it. Neither could Shuri. She needed to escape. Get out of the room, out of America. She needed to run and scream and break something. She needed to kill Namor. That was her only option, once again. She knew it would come. She knew the fate of her country would be in the air again, and part of her knew she shouldn’t do it. Equal parts yes and no. Blood on either hand, regardless of what choice she made. But she also knew that Riri's life was once again in question and there was only one answer Shuri would accept. She would deal with the aftermath the same way she had been. She would accept whatever came. She knew she wasn't thinking clearly, that maybe she would be exiled or worse, but she also knew she couldn't live with herself if Riri wasn't alive tomorrow, and that was enough for her right now. If Riri wouldn't listen, then there was only one choice.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Riri. It won't ever happen again."

Riri was startled at the sincerity in the Panther's voice. She was confused why that was what Shuri felt she had to focus on in the midst of whatever the hell was going on.

"It's okay, I promise. I'm not mad at you for yelling at me. I'm just confused..."

"It's not okay. This, whatever you're planning, whatever he's planning... None of this is okay." Shuri said, pinching between her eyes as she tried to swallow the same beast from just a few minutes ago.

"Shuri... it's not like before. It's not about him. It's not even just about what happened in Wakanda. You know I'm Iron Heart. You knew I was going to start doing these things at some point. Missions that weren’t just flying around Chicago and Boston stopping robberies. And you know that something has to be done. And I can’t let this go on again when we all know it’s my fault.” Riri sighed. “We all know it is. So, please just try to hear me..."

"I have always heard you, Riri."

Riri digested that sentence with a gulp. She replied after a moment.

"Then let me hear you, for once. Tell me why you're here. Tell me why you're reacting like this. Tell me who you are and what you're feeling. Let me in, Shuri." She said, reaching out to grab Shuri's hand again. The Panther's hand was hot, almost burning. She didn't pull away this time.

"I'm here because I lo-.. Because I won't let this happen." Shuri caught herself before she said something she couldn't explain. Riri looked into Shuri's eyes with a pleading, less sure look. Shuri couldn't hold it this time. She couldn't freeze. She couldn't tell Riri. She reminded herself what happens every time she loves someone. She reminded herself of what she was capable of and what needed to be done. Regardless if Riri ever shared her feelings or not, she would swear her life to protecting the woman until the day she met the ancestors and maybe after if she could. She would do whatever it took, every time, no matter what, she resigned to herself. She squeezed Riri's hand.

"What're you gonna do? Lock me in my room, Shuri? I don't get what's going on!" Riri pleaded.

"I would never. You are not a prisoner or someone I want to control. You are free to do as you please, just as I am. Please understand that much."

"What does that mean... Wait, please don't go!" Riri tugged back at Shuri's hand again as the Panther got up to leave. Shuri looked down at their hands touching, taking in every second that their skin touched. She remembered what it felt like to reconnect after a long time apart. She wishes she could live in it like she had before. She brought their foreheads together and closed her eyes.

"I will protect you with every part of me. The cost will never be too much."

"Shuri, please don't do what I think you're about to do..." Riri pulled Shuri's hands into hers and brought them to the sides of their faces. They were so close they could feel each other's breath on their lips. Riri prayed in her head that Shuri would listen to her, knowing the strength and power the woman in front of her wielded. Shuri choked out a pained laugh before kissing Riri's forehead and pulling away, taking in the scent of Ghanian Shea Butter and the sweet scent Riri always had.

"Andizukuphulukana nawe. Impilo yami ngeke ibe lutho ngaphandle kwakho, Riri Williams."

Before Riri could open her eyes, the Black Panther was gone, the sound of a closing door shaking Riri to her core. She felt like she was in shock, having nothing to do but curl into a ball and pull the blanket around her body, covering her face as she let the rest of the tears fall silently. She laid there for what felt like an eternity until she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"Miss Williams?" Riri jumped up, running around her room tracking down the voice. She picked up a purple and black kimoyo bead and held it up, suddenly seeing several others connect like magnets from across the other corners of the room.

"Griot?!" Riri both yelled and whispered.

"Hello, Miss Williams. Are you feeling alright?" Griot asked as the AI began taking a scan of her body to check her vitals.

"I've been better... what's going on? Why are you here? Not that it's not nice to... well you get what I mean!"

"It seems you have suffered a panic attack of sorts. Please get some water and take a seat before I proceed."

Riri rolled her eyes with a tired huff, giving in because she knew Griot wouldn't budge until she obliged. She grabbed a half empty bottle of water from her desk and sat back down near her bed, pulling the blanket up around her. She suddenly felt the absence of Shuri in her space and fought back the tears threatening to make way through her as she pulled the bracelet on, watching it activate. She had felt this way before, but it was different now.

"Feeling better, Miss Williams?"

"Just Riri is fine, and I guess. Can you explain what's going on now, please Griot?"

"Yes, Miss Riri." Griot replied as a hologram of Stark Tech floated in front of the scientist. She felt even more confused.

"Why are you showing me Stark Tech?"

"The panther has created and assigned your own AI for you, it's name is VIV. It is nearly identical to the JARVIS, or Vision, that Tony Stark had. It has been being developed for over a year, and seems to have just finished."

"What the fu-"

"The Panther also has an updated version of your vibranium Iron Heart suit on it's way to your lab location, or garage currently. She has given you access to me as well, with some restrictions. She has instructed me to inform you of this when the AI download is complete."

Riri sat in even more shock than she was in before. She was even more confused about Shuri's intentions now. More confused about her feelings, than anything. She replayed the words the panther had said to her before she left, she knew some Xhosa but it wasn’t great. 

"Can you translate what Shuri said to me in Xhosa before she left, Griot?" Riri asked, hoping for some clarity. Griot calculated for a moment, before answering.

"It would seem I am not permitted to complete that task at this time, Miss Riri."

Riri felt a pang of frustration rise in her, as she let out a laugh.

"Of course not... Can you tell me where the panther is right now?"

Griot took a moment again before answering.

"The Queen was on her way back towards Wakanda as of her last status, but it would seem she has powered off her location devices. Would you like me to contact her for you?"

Riri sat for a moment, considering her options and her own feelings.

"No, that's alright Griot. We're going to my lab. Can you help me boot up VIV when we get there? We're going on a trip."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

Riri stood up, grabbing a hoodie and sliding on some J's. Before she walked out the door, she slid on the kimoyo beads and asked a final question.

"Oh, one last thing Griot. Can you turn on privacy mode? I would like my location hidden from everyone, including the Panther. Can you do that?"

"It seems I can, but I would not advise that action Miss Riri. There are safety protocols in place that the Panther can activate for you remotely."

"That's fine, just turn it on. I have my own safety protocols."

"As you wish, Miss Riri."

"Thank you, Griot."

Riri made her way to her garage in no time, paying no mind to the world around her or the messages on her phone from MJ about their project. When she got there, she did decide to shoot her a quick text explaining that she was heading home to Chicago for a family emergency, that MJ could find her portion already done on a small drive in her room and that she had permission to break in, and that she would make it up to her later. MJ did reply, but Riri didn’t have time for that. She got to work, with the help of Griot, or the portion of him that she was allowed to operate, and booted up her own AI and implemented it into her nano suit. The one from wakanda was on its way but wouldn’t be there in time. Thankfully, she didn’t have to meet with Namor for another day and a half. She needed to think quickly but after working everything out with her suit, she was unsure where to go from there. 

“Griot, can I use both you and VIV?” 

“Yes, but you likely will not need me once the AI is turned on. I will be there when you need me, though Miss Riri.”

“Thank you Griot.” Riri smiled to herself, always fond of Griot and their robot voice. It made her think about the time she spent in the lab with Shuri, where they would borderline argue and Riri would laugh at them. This brought back that pang in her stomach and chest. She got to work on turning on and engaging with the AI so that it could mold to her needs, voice and patterns. After about an hour, she felt ready to head off. Except she had no idea how to get to Wakanda, let alone how to get in. She ruffled through her bookbag to find the information Namor had sent for her. A small teal envelope with her name on it, looking like it was written with a quill and ink. She shuddered at the thought of how old this man was and how intentional he had been to get this note to her. She opened it and read over it again, hoping to find more information than last time. Then, an idea came to mind.

“Hey VIV, and Griot, not that I don’t think you can handle it by yourself VIV. But uh, can you both scan this for me? I don’t have my Black light. Look for anything and everything. Cross reference what you find, if anything. Please.” 

“Yes IronHeart.” “Yes, Miss Riri.” They both answered in tandem. While they got to work, Riri sat down finally to think about what she could do. She couldn’t exactly call up the avengers to help her figure this out. She had to be lowkey, she had to be smart, and she needed it to work. She had only been to Wakanda once, and wasn’t really in the know about how to travel there let alone get through the border forcefield. As she went over all she did know, trying to remember any details that would help, the AI duo alerted her. 

Griot speaking first, since VIV seemed to sense a deeper trust from the IronHeart’s patterns. 

“There are markings on the back that would indicate a geolocation where Namor would like you to meet.”

“So, coordinates? I can work with that.” Riri said out loud, still trying to figure out exactly how she could work with that. Until she looked over at her father’s red car, in pristine condition thanks to Shuri. And it dawned on her. 

“Griot, do you have contact information for anybody besides Shuri?”

“I have contact information for Queen Shuri, and Okoye, former general of the Dora Milage.”

“Perfect. Please contact her now.”

“Yes, Miss Riri.”

“Wait, before you do, please transfer this contact information over to VIV. I’m not sure if Shuri knows that I have VIV yet, but in case she does, I don’t doubt that she would shut you down.” Riri explains to her favorite robot as if they needed it. Griot complied and sent a call out to Okoye.

Riri waited, holding her breath. She wasn’t sure is Okoye would answer, or even be willing to help. But this is what she had to work with. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Okoye answered.

“Small girl. Is everything alright?” Okoye answered seeming cheerful enough to hear from the girl but not without worry for the cause. Riri took a deep breath and explained the situation, truthfully, to the best of her ability. Somehow, as a surprise to both of them, Okoye was on her way in a matter of minutes as a Midnight Angel, with a jet that Shuri had let her keep. They both knew Shuri would be upset, but somehow it didn’t matter enough to let her get to Namor. They both knew what could happen, and what Shuri would likely do. 

No time was wasted when Okoye arrived, Riri running in the open hatch as fast as she could. Okoye pulled off without a trace, both of them hoping they hadn’t alerted any American law enforcement this time.

Okoye charted course for Wakanda and they both sat in near silence for most of the ride, only sharing a few words when Riri boarded, Riri showing Okoye the letter before she began piloting. They would make it in time. Riri sat near the back, not feeling like she belonged at the mantle of the machine. She had always liked these, having begged Shuri to teach her how to fly one before they set off for war. Riri sunk into her feelings that she had been trying to keep at bay since finding out about the AI. Before Shuri came, she honestly really wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. But it seemed like the timing would suggest that she was supposed to, whether she really wanted to believe that or not. She didn’t want to believe that she was this horrible monster who brought death and destruction with her everywhere she went, but sometimes she really did. She tried to fight those thoughts back and began to feel the weight of her body, sinking into the seat. Sinking was a familiar feeling to her. She tried to remember how to swim in her own thoughts. She remembered how Shuri would talk her through her episodes. How she would call right away when she sensed anything off, even if Riri wasn’t wearing her beads. She remembered how it felt to think everything would be okay, and how often that was proved to be untrue. 

It was too easy to remember. Too easy to feel like it was just yesterday. Riri couldn't keep her mind from wandering back in time while the Wakandan jet made its way through the air. Trying to focus on anything else, trying to pay attention to the Dora silently flying or guarding the exit, trying to watch the sky around her. Anything. She couldn't bite down hard enough on the inside of her cheek, leaving a sore mark wasn't enough to keep her mind from its current occupation. 

"What are you doing here?!" The shorter of the two screamed, almost screeched as she ran into the panther's arms. 

"I had some time to myself finally. Where else would I go?" Shuri chuckled as she picked the scientist up. 

"You could literally go anywhere in the world and probably... out of the world? At this point with Wakandan tech." Riri explained, seriously, as she hung onto the slim but toned body holding her off the ground with ease, not realizing she was holding on as tight as she was. Not realizing there was nowhere else Shuri would have gone. Nowhere. 

"You're so... anyway, what should we do?"

"How long do we have?" Riri asked as she pulled back, not even trying to contain her wide grin that was plastered across her face. Shuri recorded it to memory, as she always did with the smaller woman's features. 

"96 hours. Well, 96-ish, less now that we've been standing here debating where I could've gone." Shuri jokes as she lets go, making sure Riri found her footing. 

"Shut up! Four days?! We have so much to do!" Riri definitely screeched this time, pretending to slap Shuri's arm. Fighting the urge to grab it and pull her in, Shuri picks up Riri's book bag from where she dropped it and places it in her desk chair as she walks to the bed and pulls her own bag out from under the bed.

"Exactly how long have you been here? You seem comfortable." Riri jokes as she grabs two waters from her mini fridge and hops up on her bed. 

"I am." Shuri chuckles at the sight of the shorter woman having to jump to get on the bed. "And since your first class."

"Are you serious?! Why didn't you say anything dickhead?!" 

"Ouch!" Shuri feigns pain as she catches the pillow Riri throws at her head and plops on the bed next to her. "I had a few things to handle, and needed to secure the dorm building. I didn't want to disrupt your day, I know midterms are coming up no?"

"Yeah, they are but you could've let a bitch know! I would've cleaned!" Riri states, noticing that she sounds much like her mother. 

"I like your mess." Shuri smiles. 

"Shut up. How did you secure the whole dorm building?"

"Well, I hope you don't mind. I have beads in every corner of the building. And a few around campus as well. Including in here. Is that alright with you?"

"Sheesh. Do I have a choice?" Riri jokes, but Shuri nervously answers.

"Yes of course! If it's not comfortable for you, I can sleep at a hotel. I should've asked, I'm sorry about that. Next time I'll-"

"There's a next time too?"

"Well, if you'd li-"

"Are you crazy?! Of course! And yeah yeah, that's all fine with me. I get it. Don't start worrying about it or nun. I was just curious."

Shuri's smile returns and she relaxes back into the bed. It was oddly comfortable, being that the last time she was here was before the war. Sure, they'd been talking for months over facetimes and calls. And texts. And letters.. oddly, but not to them. They were both truly as desperate as they felt, but excused it since it seemed mutual - opting to call it a mutual interest in friendship, as opposed to what it really was in the bigger picture. And sure, they had seen each other one other time, but it was so brief that it shouldn't really count - although it did, to both of them. 

Shuri had arrived at an American event in Boston, forced to show face by the elders after the uproar surrounding her mother and everything. She felt it was too soon and didn't make sense to attend a tech gala when none of it was even touching Wakandan tech. But regardless, she put on her best suit and went, disregarding the elder's request for her to wear traditional royal attire. She sat there, wishing she hadn't come, while big investors droned on. The only part that peaked her interest was listening to the stories of young inventors. They reminded her of herself, so excited and in a hurry. They reminded her of someone else too. Someone she had been longing to see since she left Wakanda only a few months ago at the time. 

Shuri muddled around the thought of calling Riri, or just showing up at her dorm. She knew she had responsibilities to attend to the next afternoon after she returned home, and it really hadn't been that long. Maybe Riri wasn't ready to see her yet? Or maybe she never would be. Or maybe Shuri had really made their connection up in her own mind. Or maybe she didn't? And maybe she should just call her, or maybe send her a quick text to keep it more casual? Keep what, casual exactly? She wasn't sure. She paced around her own mind anxiously the entire night, not realizing it was her turn to speak until the Doras were next to her asking if she was alright. She collected herself and headed to the stage, performing a speech much like her brother had about the importance of innovation, supporting the youth - especially the Black and Brown youth, etc. She meant what she said but she hardly felt as connected or present with it as she was when she wrote it. Still circling her mind was her favorite innovator, the scientist who made everything make sense to her. Pining so badly, by the end of her speech she had resolved to call Riri. Faking her smiles through the eruption of clapping and handshakes as she left the stage, she made her way back to her seat while the closing speech began - only to lose her resolve when Ayo bent down to whisper a reminder of their exit plan and their intended arrival time back in Wakanda. 

She had known it was a foolish thought. Who even knew what the small scientist would be doing at this time? She could be working, studying, partying. God, Shuri hoped not but recoiled at her own thoughts. She wasn't heteronormative and she wasn't the toxic type. She just also felt jealous of anybody and anything that got to be around Riri when she wasn't. Which was most times. Essentially all the time. Really, she reasoned with herself, she had only been around Riri for a few days and it had been against her will anyway. Maybe she really was making all of this up in her head. 

The Queen of Wakanda continued her mental pace as she made her exit, later than most guests and certainly not from the front entrance. She walked through the beautiful building with the Doras who were talking amongst themselves about logistics, seemingly all having caught onto another one of Shuri's "moods". Shuri paid them no mind, as they expected, while she began brooding. What was the point of coming to America, aside from like... the actual point, politically - if not to see her scientist? She caught herself scoffing at "her scientist", making fun of herself in her head as they headed outside and around the back when the Doras suddenly stood alert around her. Shuri looked around her and back at her beads quickly, doing a quick scan of their surroundings, only to hear a small, out of breath "Hey" from her left.

"Williams?"

"Yeah, yeah.. haha. Hoo. Crazy catching you here." Riri joked awkwardly as she tried to catch her breath from clearing having run.

"Yes, well I was-"

"Giving a speech. I saw on tv. Just happened to be in the neighborhood myself so I figured I'd uh, say hi." Riri cut the Panther off as she caught her bearings and finally made eye contact. Shuri made contact back, silently signaling for the Dora to drop their guard. Ayo looked between them but of course followed command. Shuri stepped between them and closer to the scientist, who was now twiddling her fingers and looking anywhere but at Shuri. Just like she did in Wakanda. Just like Shuri had replayed in her head a billion times over. While Shuri took the absence of eye contact as a chance to damn near gawk at the smaller woman, Riri was doing her own mental laps. 

She also questioned her intentions and if she had been making this all up. She also questioned how crazy she must look, showing up here like this. She couldn't stop herself, leaving MJ, Peter and Ned in her OWN room after they had been flipping through channels and Riri caught a glimpse. That was all it took, one, maybe two seconds and she was out the door. And granted, she kind of was in the neighborhood. If you consider being four miles away in the neighborhood. She had considered grabbing her car from the garage but figured it would take too long, so she jumped in her nano suit her and Peter had been working on (that definitely still needed some work), and flew over. Of course she couldn't land in front of everyone, so she landed in a park a few blocks away and took off on foot. None of which she will EVER tell anybody, although she could barely remember her excuse to the three friends she left in her dorm as she forced herself to look back up and meet Shuri's eyes. 

"In the neighborhood?"

"You could say that." Riri joked awkwardly again.

This made Shuri laugh. Riri had that effect on her, she had learned during their late night lab sessions. Even in the midst of the grimmest of days and a literal war, Riri had Shuri laughing so hard she cried a few times. They both seemed to be thinking back while they laughed together and smiled at each other shyly until Ayo cleared her throat. 

"We must get going, Kumkanikazi." Both women seemed to jump a bit, having been pulled out of their staring contest. Riri shuddered at hearing Shuri be called that, she recognized it from when Okoye would speak about Queen Ramonda. She had done her best to pick up on as much of the language as she could when she was there, for some reason unknown to her - she just figured it would come in handy. But now, hearing it and knowing it meant Queen, shook her to her core. She remembered why she hadn't reached out, the guilt that sat in her bones about it. She nearly turned on her heels until she heard Shuri speak. 

"One moment please."

"My Queen, we really must-" Ayo begun speaking in Xhosa but was cut off by the Panther Queen. 

"Please. One moment." Shuri said, a command but almost begging, not turning to face the general one step to the side of her. She pulled at the necklace around her neck and Ayo nodded silently. 

"I will ready the jet." Ayo answered and turned around, her and the two other Dora briskly walking to the jet that was just now coming into Riri's focus. She assumed it was using the new camouflage tech she had heard mentioned before she left Wakanda. 

"Those things get cooler every time."

"Yeah, I suppose they do." Shuri laughed half heartedly. They both tried to speak but cut each other off.

"So-"

"I do-"

"You first." They both sheepishly smiled as they spoke in unison. but Riri insisted. "Go ahead, please." 

Shuri would've resisted if she wasn't so desperate and struggling against showing it. 

"How have you been? I've mis- I've been wondering. We haven't spoken since you left." Shuri caught herself, suddenly feeling like twiddling her fingers and looking at her shoes too but she resisted that too. She was good at resisting. 

"Oh.. well yeah. I've been. You know, school, work. Just been trying to get through the semester. I wanted to re- well I wondered how you've been too."

"I've been, too." Shuri shrugged with a smile. She wanted to know more, everything. To devour the stories Riri could tell her, even the most mundane. She wanted to know what pencils she used to write equations and what she thought of the food in her cafeteria. Riri just smiled, feeling the weight again. She knew Shuri hadn't been good, and she knew she hadn't either. 

"Can I ask you-" They both spoke in unison again. 

"You first." Riri insisted again, before Shuri could. Shuri didn't like it but she also didn't have much time to waste. 

"Why didn't you reach out?" She asked, leaving Riri out of breath all over again. After a second that seemed like a million, Riri answered.

"I didn't know how." She said truthfully. 

"I left you beads. Maybe I should've left a note too. I'm sorry, I figured you'd-"

"No, no. Not like that. I figured that out, it was actually pretty easy." Riri smiled, thinking about how much fun it was to try to get the beads to work. Fun until it wasn't. Fun until she heard Shuri's voice message and left it for months.

"Then you didn't want to?"

"No, I did. I just didn't know... how. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it. But trust me, I wanted to. I really wanted to." Riri said earnestly and more quiet than she intended. Shuri believed her and took her answer, even if she didn't like it. Again resisting herself. Resisting Riri. 

"I understand. Thank you for letting me know. Well..." She looked back at the Jet and sighed. They made eye contact before Shuri decided it would be best to count her losses in her own country, turning to leave. 

"Wait, I still have a question!" Riri almost shouted. "If that's okay... of course." She said more quiet. Shuri turned around eager to hear. Hoping. Resisting. But hoping. She nodded her head.

"Well..." Riri twisted her fingers around in her hands. She still didn't know what to say or how to say it. But she didn't have much time to waste. 

"Well?" Shuri asked, trying not to sound pushy but anxious to know. 

"Is it too late?" Riri asked, looking back up at the woman in front of her. The face she had committed to memory, but a bit different. More mature. Somehow even more beautiful. Shuri said nothing.

"...To reach out... To talk?" Riri finally drove it home, sending a silent prayer to whoever would answer that she wouldn't further embarrass herself. 

Startling the both of them, Shuri's beads lit up and Ayo's face appeared. 

"My apologies my Queen, but if we do not leave in the next three minutes, you may be late to your engagements tomorrow."

"Yes, thank you. I'm coming." Shuri said back, eyes still on Riri. 

Riri felt defeated as she watched the panther tuck her beads back up her sleeve. It probably was too late. And who knows. Maybe it was the right thing to do to not stay in contact. Maybe that's what was best for Wakanda or Shuri. She remembered her mother always telling her that sometimes "doing the right thing feels like shit". In this case, she thought, it felt worse than shitty.

That was until Shuri grabbed her hand. Softly, almost too soft in comparison to what you'd expect from a super powered panther. It was so soft yet sent a shiver through Riri, like electricity was coursing through her. Like her heart was beating for the first time. The eye contact was somehow not as awkward as it was a second ago when they were standing a few feet apart. It was like they were all alone.

"Use the beads. If they need to charge, just set them in the sun but they shouldn't."

"Oh- Okay. I will. I will." Riri said twice, almost like she was confirming with herself first and the Shuri.

"Good." Shuri smiled. She took a step closer before she heard another beep on her own beads. Before the General could speak, Shuri was already responding. 

"I heard you. I'm coming."

She looked at Riri again and sighed, and suddenly Riri saw just how exhausted the Panther really was. And maybe something else too. Shuri stepped back again, not wanting to let go of Riri's hand. 

"It'll never be too late. I'll see you soon?" Shuri said, finally letting go and letting the physical distance regrow between them, hoping that the emotional distance wouldn't grow again too. 

Riri watched as the panther walked back to the jet and boarded, looking back only once, only long enough to catch Riri's small wave but not return it. The younger scientist stood there feeling disassociated, unsure of what to do next. Really, she knew she had to go back to her dorm and go back to living her real life just like she had after she left Wakanda. Although, as dreary as that still seemed to her, this time felt different. Like there was something to look forward to, if she had the balls to actually use the beads like Shuri had said. She mulled over whether or not it was an instruction or a question from the Panther as she chose not to watch the jet fly off behind her. She heard the media start to buzz again when they heard the jet, upset that they had missed the person they were waiting for. Yet, Riri stood there and stared at the ground where Shuri was just standing. She still felt that pathetic feeling, and worried that she hadn't had a chance to explain how she found Shuri or even knew she would be there. She felt the weight of grief again, after seeing how tired Shuri looked when you really looked at her. And she felt guilty, for feeling excited. For feeling the butterflies she always pretended she didn't feel. She wondered, briefly, how Shuri was feeling right now but per usual, tried not to wonder too much as to not become delusional. She knew better than anybody that assuming to know how someone else thinks is the worst mistake you can make. 

Shuri, back in the jet that was flying faster than she would like, was afflicted by similar thoughts. She wondered how Riri had found her and wondered if she really was as lucky as that just felt. She wondered why the girl even came. She wondered if she thinks about her too. She wondered if Riri would use the beads. She sat awake, replaying every moment of their time together since their first encounter over and over until they arrived in Wakanda, despite the Doras concerns for her not getting rest. Shuri would rest when things were well enough for her to rest, she told herself, but even she was starting to notice the cracks. She knew she could only stay awake for so many days until her body would shut down. She had secretly tried some of the elixirs and teas that both Nakia and Aneka had sent her, and she had read what Okoye sent her after hearing everything. She had slept every now and then, but it was never restful. It was never without torment from some figment of her mind taking shape of someone she wasn't ready to face - whether that be Namor, N'jdaka, or her mother. She always prayed for T'Challa to appear, who she wasn't sure if she was ready to see but longed for the comfort of his voice or face, but each time her body fell asleep, her mind fell into a well pit of despair. 

That is, until later that night. Shuri had been through her daily responsibilities after making it back to Wakanda. Once her meetings were over, she made her way to the lab. She did her best to avoid checking the status of Riri's beads, trying to keep her mind busy as she usually did. It was harder this time, knowing that she'd actually spoken to the girl. After bopping around a bit, her body started to feel the weight of the past few days. She hadn't been physically training as much as she should've the past few weeks, because she knew it would knock her out but she was starting to feel stiff. She finally let up and sat down at one of her desks in a back room of the lab after Griot had let her know her vitals. She didn't usually sit in this room, so she hadn't been aware of what was placed in there. As she lazily sifted through the papers on the desk to try to keep her mind occupied, she saw blueprints for Riri's Iron Heart suit. The same feeling of nervousness and excitement rose in her as she more hurriedly looked over them. Despite all the work they did together, she never really got to see too much of Riri's initial process from scratch. She ran her slender fingers over Riri's pencil marks, reading over all her notes to herself. 

With a yawn, Shuri sat back and relished in the fact that Riri actually existed. Sometimes, when Shuri was really out of it, she couldn't believe that everything really happened. She was sometimes convinced she would wake up and her mother would still be here, or that Riri was just a figment of her desperate imagination. Sure, having her mother back would be... well, everything. But it scared Shuri to think Riri might not have been real, that she didn't really happen. She felt selfish for this, knowing that Riri's life would probably be better without the trauma she endured in Wakanda. But nevertheless, Shuri held on tight to the memories she had of the woman, hoping that they would be enough for her. 

She thought about how it felt to hold Riri's hand, to touch her skin again. It was just as soft and delicate as it had been when they parted ways a few months ago. Her face looked the same, maybe more mature in some ways. She looked tired too, underneath the face she put on for other people. They had gotten past that with each other during their long nights alone working together in the lab. 

She thought about what it would feel like to fall asleep in Riri's bed. The mattress probably wasn't super comfortable but she remembers all the colorful pillows she has, messily strewn across the surface. The different colored blankets would probably fit them both well, even with the little space a twin bed supplies. They would have to be close, touching. Shuri imagined breathing in sync, feeling Riri's ribcage rise and fall in her arms while they were pressed against each other. She thought about how Riri smells. She's been trying to replicate it for months. She thought about breathing her in, laying her face in the crook of her neck and sleeping. Not thinking. Sleeping. Not even having to dream. She thought about waking up next to her, seeing her sleeping still until Shuri shifted too much by accident. Riri waking up and no doubt saying something funny. Or soft. Or just saying hello. How her eyes would look. She thought about not being afraid to make it real, that in her thoughts she didn't have to pretend that these touches were by accident or out of necessity. That they could spend an eternity, wrapped in colorful blankets, sleeping and touching skin to skin. That maybe Riri would feel the same, and they would laugh about how long it took to figure it out. That they would laugh until they couldn't, and talk until they couldn't, and then they would kiss. And everything would melt away, and neither would know where their skin would begin or end. And they would kiss until they couldn't. And they'd sleep. 

She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep at the desk until she heard Griot's voice. 

"Sorry to startle you, Panther. But, Miss Williams is trying to contact you. How would you like me to proceed?"

Shuri was shook, unsure of what she looked like or even what time it was. She felt nervous. She felt groggy, not even sure if this was real either. Nevertheless, she answered. 

"Patch me through, please."

She waited a moment with bated breath, hoping this wasn't a dream or some fluke. Until she heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Riri asked, sounding nervous herself. Shuri wondered what time it was there, too. 

"Hey." She said, in a more relaxed tone. Even if this wasn't real, it was still the best dream she'd had in months. Maybe ever.

And they talked, for a long time. Eventually working through any awkwardness. Riri never explained how she made it to the Panther, and the Panther never asked. She did explain, however, why it took so long for her to call. Shuri just listened and let herself laugh, like she'd been dreaming about. Finally feeling free for a little bit, even if it was just for a little bit.

On the other side of things, once Riri had cleared everyone out of her room when she got back and promising to explain to MJ later, she had sat down and thought about what to do. That turned into pacing and talking outloud. She had been avoiding the beads like the plague for months, unsure of what to do. Unsure of what choice would cause the least harm, since she already felt guilty for what she had caused. She found herself awake all night feeling anxious. She left for class that morning, deciding that she would get through her day and take a nap. She would figure it out after that. What she didn't tell Shuri, is how hard its been to sleep since she left Wakanda, or really even how hard it was while she was there. But when she tried to take a nap, she realized that all she dreamed about this time was Shuri and how soft her hand was when they had touched and how peaceful it felt to talk to her, even if only for a few moments and only a few words. She decided when she woke up that even if they ended up never talking again, she would keep her promise and use the beads.

And that's what she did. And that's what they kept doing, for weeks and months. They talked, they listened, they laughed, and on rare occasion, fell asleep. Both free from nightmares, even if just for a little while. Until Shuri finally arrived.

And finally, they had some time to really figure things out. Shuri promised she wasn't missing anything important by being there, and that she had allotted enough time. Riri was still unsure about it but couldn't resist the opportunity to finally see the woman she had been pining over for months - as a friend, of course. 

As Riri remembered back fondly, she had forgotten what was ahead of her until she was jolted by turbulence that was usually well controlled by the Wakandan tech in the fighter jet. She couldn't process how she could possibly be on her way to confront the man that almost killed her and did actually kill the Queen of Wakanda. She couldn't fathom that she was racing there, against her love, her best friend, to make sure she didn't kill him first. Suddenly her clothes all felt too tight, and her suit felt heavy despite being nano. Suddenly the air felt hot and her lungs felt empty and she felt dizzy. She had felt all of this before, a panic attack. Riri Williams was no stranger to a panic attack. Not before Wakanda, and definitely not after. Though, for the past few months, she had always had Shuri to help ground her. Now, she was floating in the air, literally and figuratively. Everything was moving so fast. She felt herself spiraling and cursing herself in the process, unable to stop it but ashamed nonetheless. She had worked hard, since she was younger, to have a control over her emotions and thoughts. She needed to, especially if she was going to take this super hero shit serious. Especially if she was going to be there for her mom and sister after her dad passed. Especially if she was going to make it. But she felt that control slowly ripping itself to shreds, doing a number on all the mental blocks she had in place. She couldn't lose Shuri. She couldn't be the cause of another war in Wakanda. She couldn't live with the guilt. She couldn't let Shuri get hurt, or worse, for her again. Even if it meant confronting a man much more powerful than her. Even if it meant losing. Even if it meant drowning all over again. 

Suddenly, she felt a cool hand grace the side of her cheek. She felt her suit dematerialize around her until it was just a bracelet again. She felt Okoye kneel down in front of her, eyes kinder than they usually were. She felt her pull her in close and squeeze. The pressure of the embrace bringing Riri back into her body. They stayed like that until Riri could breathe again. 

She went to apologize as Okoye pulled back silently, just as she had appeared, but she was cut off. 

"Aht aht. There is no need." Okoye softly but firmly let her know, sitting down next to her. They had never been this close before. Riri looked over to see the jet flying itself. The first time she saw that happen she was crazy nervous, but she's grown to trust both Wakandan tech and Okoye. After a few moments of silence, Okoye spoke again.

"I know what she means to you, you know."

Riri looked at her finally, noticing how somber her eyes really looked. She had seen those eyes before, but not like this. Okoye continued, looking back out the windows. 

"I was T'Challa's right hand. I saw it all, from the beginning to the end. I saw him be the panther, I saw him be the king. I saw him be Shuri's brother." Riri felt a pang in her at the use of Shuri's name. She listened.

"And I saw him fall in love. I saw him devote himself to Nakia, and I saw her unravel at the loss of him - until she left. I saw it all, as much as I could. And I often wondered why I didn't feel the way they seemed to feel when my husband betrayed me and Wakanda. But their love... it was pure. It was something out of this world, it was something built into them." Okoye sighed, feeling grief in many directions. Riri found herself fighting back tears again until Okoye looked at her with different eyes, almost loving eyes this time.

"I have seen that kind of love before and that is how I know you have it. Both of you. And that is how I know we will figure this out." Okoye looked at her and squeezed her hand again, affirming what she said. They both heard the AI tell them they were approaching in the next 5 minutes. Through her tears that were now shamelessly falling down her face, Riri gulped out a question, in true Riri fashion.

"Do you think you will ever love like that?"

"I already do." Okoye said, getting up and adjusting herself to get back to the front of the plane to chart their secret entrance into Wakanda. Riri looked confused.

"Ngudade wethu." Okoye answered again, before sitting down and being who she needed to be. Riri knew what she said, and knew that she was right. About all of it. 

As they prepared themselves, Riri suited up and made her way to the front of the plane. 

"Where did he say to meet?" The midnight angel asked Riri. She sent the coordinates to the jet and looked at them wistfully. She hadn't really thought about where she might actually be going to "talk" to him when she was rushing to get herself to Wakanda. She jumped when Okoye gasped. 

"What?! What is it?!" Worry filled her from head to toe again, hoping it had nothing to do with Shuri. 

"That bastard... We are going to have to find a way to break into the palace. He wants to meet in the throne room."

Riri was speechless, knowing that this was a tactic to try to make her feel weak. She also couldn't deny that it was working. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought of being back in there. Of seeing the place where she almost died. Of... all of it. She had visited many times in her dreams, all against her will. And now she would face him there, against her will. She knew he was doing this to weaken her resolve, much like her and Shuri did with the dehydrating jet. She knew his intent all along, but this certainly solidified it. 

Riri tried to make peace with dying in Wakanda. Once again, her mom wouldn't know where she was or how any of this happened. She wondered what lie they would tell her. She wondered if she would fight or just give herself to him. She wondered what Shuri would do, knowing this wouldn't end well no matter what she did. But she held her mind together as best as she could. She knew she had to meet him before she did. She knew she had to do what she could to prevent a second war. Okoye knew too, looking at her and then pulling up her own beads to try and locate Shuri. 

"The Panther's location services are currently offline." The Ai spoke to them. 

"Let us pray she is behind us and not ahead of us."

"Will she know where to find us?"

"We are about to break into the most secure place on the planet earth. I'm sure everyone will know where to find us in a matter of moments." Okoye answered and they shared a look. 

"I hope you know, I will fight until the end with you. I have stood with the Wakandan throne my whole life. I have stood with Shuri and those that came before her. I have stood for the safety of my people as best as possible, but I have made my own mistakes before. I will stand with you, now, Riri. No matter the outcome."

Riri felt the pull of her tear ducts again but different this time. Okoye reminded her of her own sister, and of her own mistakes. She reached out a hand and found Okoye's. They held hands until it was time to land. 

Once they had maneuvered their way into the country using Okoye's knowledge as former general and her new disguising tech, which Riri made a note to recreate if she made it out of this, Riri followed Okoye into the dense jungle around them.

"The best chance we have is to stay low until we can't anymore, and then charge in. The Doras won't see it coming but they will react, with their full might as they've been trained to do. Even to me. Our goal is not to harm any Wakandans, but we have to get to the throne room before he does. I will do my best to reason with Ayo and Aneka but they will resist a meeting with him there. Once we spot him, we must draw him away from the palace. Even if it means drawing him to the sea. Remember that he is most powerful near water."

Riri nods as she listens. Okoye wishes there were another way.

"Remember that if we see Shuri, we may already be too late. We must keep them separate. I do not know if she will choose peace a second time. Not when it concerns you."

"I don't want her to do this, I hope you know. You were right. You were right about it all. I love her. But I don't want her to risk everything for me. You all already have and I can't live with that. I can't live with any of this. I don't want to die but... But I can't let everyone else die for me either." Riri spits out, hoping she's being believed. She means it. Okoye looks at her and hears Nakia's voice in her head. "I just know his spirit. It is simple in that way for me."

"Ndiyawazi umoya wakho. I believe you. And I will fight to make sure no one has to die today, unfortunately even him if it means peace."

"Thank you."

"Thank you, small girl."

"For what?" Riri asked, genuinely surprised since most of the mayhem the past few months has been a result of her actions - intentional or not. 

"For giving her something to hold onto again. Something to believe in." Okoye answered truthfully. Riri didn't know what to say but she took in what the older woman said, against trusting her. After a few moments of silence, it was time.

"Stand behind me and do not fly until I tell you. If you enter the air space anywhere near the palace, you will be shot down before you can count to one. Do you understand?" Riri nodded. 

She did understand. Now, more clearly than ever.

🖤

[cnnmairoll]

That's good to hear.

I had a little idea based around Tingyun because I love her so much and what happened to her makes me so sad. I had this thought since we go around handing out her gifts for people after she died, what if one of those people was her lover? Like the reader is Tingyun's lover and they think 'wow she must be busy with her job' only for the express crew or madam Yukong to come and tell them the truth about Tingyun and Phantylia and maybe the present given to the reader is like an engagement ring. The angst idea just hit me after playing through it.

Anyway, thank you for listening of course. It was an idea I feel I needed to share.

-🌸

Farewell, Tingyun.

Pairing : Tingyun x Reader Genre : Angst a/n : Sorry this took awhile 🌸anon !! I absolutely love your idea but I apologize if I can't bring it to justice!!

The Palace of Astrum stood silent under the cascade of stars that painted the night sky. You, nestled in Tingyun's room, gazed at the empty chair by her writing desk, where she'd spin tales that would enthrall the entire galaxy. It had been weeks since you last saw her, and though your heart ached for her, you had convinced yourself that her role as Head Representative of the Whistling Flames was consuming her time.

Each day, you longed for her return, but each night you fell asleep with her absence heavy in your thoughts. "She must be busy," you told yourself. "Her work is important, and she's always dedicated to her guild." Yet, beneath the veneer of understanding, a gnawing worry ate at your soul.

On a somber, moonless evening that you sat in your chambers, pondering over a letter you had received. It was from Madam Yukong, the seasoned Helm Master of the Xianzhou Alliance's Sky-Faring Commission. The letter was marked with sorrow, and your heart began to pound with trepidation.

You rushed to the Grand Hall, where Madam Yukong stood, her expression grave. Beside her was Trailblazer, a trusted friend of Tingyun's, and Yanming, the Celestial Guild envoy. Their faces told a story of grief that words could not convey.

"Please, take a seat," she said softly, her voice trembling like leaves in a storm.

You complied, heart pounding, as Trailblazer and Yanming flanked you on either side.

"What is it? What's happened?" you asked, your voice quivering.

Helm Master Yukong took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Tingyun," she began, "Tingyun is no more."

The world seemed to stop. Tingyun, the silver-tongued storyteller, the love of your life, was gone. You could hardly process the words as they reverberated through your mind, a cruel and relentless echo.

"She was on a mission," Yukong continued, "one we believed to be safe. But the universe has a cruel sense of timing."

Tears streamed down your face as you clutched your chest, your heart shattering into a million pieces. Tingyun was gone, and you hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye.

Barely holding herself together, Yukong insisted on a "soul-soothing ceremony" to appease the pain that everyone felt. Before the ceremony, you, Trailblazer, and Yanming were tasked with sorting through Tingyun's belongings in the Palace of Astrum. It was a painful task, a cruel reminder of her absence.

As you carefully sifted through her possessions, you stumbled upon a small, ornate box. A label bore your name, and your heart leapt in your chest. Trembling, you opened it and discovered an engagement ring, a beautiful, delicate thing with a shimmering gem that seemed to hold the very essence of the stars.

Tears flowed freely as you clutched the ring to your chest, realizing that Tingyun had planned to ask you to be her forever. The weight of your loss bore down upon you, but the ring was a bittersweet reminder of the love you had shared and the love she had intended for your future.

In the midst of grief and heartache, you found solace in the love that had blossomed between you and Tingyun. Her captivating tales might have enchanted the galaxy, but it was her love that had captured your heart. And as you held that ring, you made a silent promise to carry her memory with you, to keep her stories alive, and to love her for all eternity, even as the stars continued to shine above, indifferent to the pain of mortals.

[cherspastries]

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NAVIGATION-

ABOUT ME ♥︎ My name is Cherish, but please just call me Cher! I’m a writer, and currently studying to be a graphic designer! My timezone is PST, and I tend to post more frequently on weekends. My favorite F1 drivers are Oscar and Lando :)

This page is dedicated to Formula One! Motorsports are my biggest interest in life, and I’ve been a fan since I was a kid. I’ve attended a few races and love to yap about my hyper-fixations. I have diagnosed ADHD, which sometimes makes writing difficult, but I do my best.

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I do not write NSFW! Totally okay if you shoot me a request with suggestive theming, but straight up NSFW is not my forte :) I’d happily suggest other writers if you’re looking for that sort of thing!

I don’t like to write about darkfic topics, such as uncomfortable age gaps, romantic family dynamics, or S/A of any sort.

Please do not be weird or creepy to me. I obviously don’t mind the occasional platonic ILY, but I’d appreciate if you refrain from making weird comments about me!

This is a page for anyone and everyone. I do not post NSFW, therefore I don’t mind people under 18 reading my content. Please keep my comments PG13 and refrain from posting hate towards anyone, including the drivers themselves.

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2025 grid-

Max Verstappen

Oscar Piastri

Lando Norris

Lewis Hamilton

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Carlos Sainz

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George Russell

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Oliver Bearman

Esteban Ocon

Retired drivers-

Daniel Ricciardo

Nico Rosberg

Kimi Räikkönen

Sebastian Vettel

Mark Webber

Jenson Button

I can never guarantee your request will be fulfilled. If your favorite driver isn’t on this list, it doesn’t hurt to ask anyway! Just don’t expect me to always answer :)

❝What kind of things do you write?❞ Another great question, yay!

YES! ☆

Social Media AUS (SMAU)

Text fics

Oneshots with multiple drivers

Individual fics

Fluff

Angst

Suggestive content

NO! ★

NSFW

The basic no’s: Weird age gaps, familial romance, etc.

Anything negative/hateful against anybody

Polyamory (Nothing against it, I just don’t know how to properly write it!)

Please remember I am human too, and I have every right to say no to a request!

ANONS-

I love emoji anons and such! You’re welcome to send in stuff to my inbox even if it’s not an official request. Come chat with me!!

At this point in time, I have 0 claimed emoji anons!

Thank you for supporting my content! I love you all ♡

[harus-simp]

You like me?

-Ollie x reader-

Genre: fluff, angst if you squint

Warning:none

Word count: 1K aprox.

Requested: I love your writings soo MUCHH!! They give me so much comfort after a long day. Can you please do an Ollie fluffy story. Preferably enemies to lovers.. ty so much I’m such a big fan! (Anonymous)

Can you write a fluff fic for Ollie? I miss him sm (Anonymous)

Can you do an Ollie fluffy fic? (Anonymous)

Author's note: OMG Ollie has been requested a lot recently ahhsjsjsjs

But more like enemies to lovers I'll do it like they are acting cold towards each other (but no hatred intended because I see him as a baby 🥺)

Also hope my dear anons don't mind to have combined these 3 asks because they were too similar hehe

Anyways, enjoy it and sorry for the long wait <3

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What would be your reaction if you overheard someone who you swore had been an annoying ass to you for a long time suddenly admit that he liked you?

Surprises were things you appreciated in a limited way. Don't get me wrong, you liked it when someone dedicated the time to make you one, but you didn't like to be the center of attention.

However, this surprise was different from any other. It wasn't meant for you, but it came as a surprise to hear the next words:

"Okay yes, I like y/n"

.

.

.

That day had been an hectic day to say the least, with exams approaching you needed to study a lot, meaning more time spend on the library by your own. Which you always enjoyed of course.

But what you didn't enjoyed was certain someone acting like a 3 year old kid.

When you were walking through the hallways you accidentally brushed your shoulder with someone.

"Auch, watch were you're going y/n"

"I have bearly even touched you ollie" you answered bitterly

You hated to admit it but ollie had been your friend for a couple of years, years were you both were attached by the hip. Always spending your lunch together, walking home and hanging out outside the school.

But last year he started to keep his distance from you, always making excuses to not hang out or not waiting for you to get back home together. So you drifted apart from each other slowly but painfully.

As you started a new school year you both saw each other again as you shared classes, however you didn't expect him to act a little colder towards you. In fact, it surprised you to see the once sweet ollie you knew treat you so indifferently damaging your nice past relationship.

You decided to fasten your pace towards your initial location and ignore the heavy sighs he left that were distracting you so much.

.

.

.

After your week of exams came to an end you felt like you could finally take a well deserved rest for all your hard work. Gathering all your things you straight headed out to the entrance with your friends as you were gonna have dinner as a reward.

Just when you were about to leave the entrance all together you noticed you had left your phone so you stopped for a moment and told your friends you were gonna take a while more.

"Guys just remembered i forgot my phone, I'll catch up with you later"

"Alright pookie bear, don't worry, see you in a while"one of them said

You quickly went back searching your phone literally everywhere: the library, the labs, the...

Wait, that's it, you left it under your table on your class.

You started heading to your classroom and just as you were gonna open the door you heard two voices inside. Without the inention of eavesdropping you decided to wait outside till they got out or the matter they were discussing came to an end.

However, the walls were too thin and you couldn't help but to hear everything.

"Look ollie I know this is frustrating to you and all that but you need to get things clear in your mind, you just can't ignore the problem like that"

Wait ollie? Ignoring a problem? That really didn't seem like him at all. And although you guys weren't that close anymore you couldn't help but want to help him.

"What else am I suppose to do I don't want to make things even more awkward that they are now and I'm honestly scared"

"I know you can feel like that but you need to at least accept it, I've seen how you glance at them during classes with those sad eyes. You cannot deny it anymore"

"Okay yes i like y/n"

Those word made you trip by accident startling both of them on the process.

"Who's there?"

'Shit'you thought

You opened the door slowly and trying to not be that obvious you asked for your phone.

"Sorry, have you seen my phone here?"

The expression on their faces was priceless to say the least, specially ollie's (wonder why lol)

"N- no"said ollie

"I have to go, see you later guys"said his friend quickly giving ollie a little smile

The room stayed quiet as you searched for your phone quickly.

"Ah found it"

"How- how much of that did you hear?"he asked stuttering while his cheeks flushed a deep red color

You stayed silent for a while but you eventually turned around to answer him properly.

"Uhm...all of it?"you said shyly

"Oh i-"

"So, you like me?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry for distancing myself from you but I was scared that if I told you our relationship wouldn't stay the same and I'd lose you"

"So you thought the best option was to ignore me?"

"I- i just needed to get rid of those feelings, didn't want to risk what we had" he said looking down

You could see the sincerity of his words right through his eyes and even comprehended his actions, so staying mad at him was pointless at that point.

So you flashed him a sweet smile expressing all your feelings shortly.

"You know you are really stupid right?"

He looked at you stunned by your question, but just as words were about to leave his mouth you interrupted him.

"I like you too ollie, and if you want me to forgive you you better come with me to have dinner" you told him without looking back

"For real?"

You giggled at his reaction.

"Yes, now grab your things before I change my mind"

His face immediately lightened up at the thought of one chance to hang out again, but even more at the thought of still having a chance with you.

"Yes m'am"he said as he smiled brightly and followed you quickly outside of the classroom.

This was the best surprise you could have ever asked for.

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Taglist: @zumblrnet

[chuuyasporkie]

Omg you replied back :0 I thought you are inactive here :(

Hi I'm anon, your ao3 fan hehe but I'm shy...for now 👉🏻👈🏻. For now means I don't have the courage to leave comments under your works yet. Yeah, I'm a silent reader but usually this shyness is only during my early journey of reading any author's works that I just found. But!!!!! I will leave comments one day bc I will!!! Like I always did for all the authors before. But for now, I want to say it here. I LOVE YOUR AO3 WORKS SO MUCH OH GOD 😭😭😭😭 You've such a way with your words I really enjoyed my reading and your stories on SKK. oh god the first time I finished reading that one long SKK fic, I immediately subscribed you bc I want to read ALL your works bc I think, whatever idea you write, I'll enjoy them nonetheless! Right now I'm reading your latest fic abt how Chuuya will redo his actions now that he's thrown into the past. I'm so looking forward for more!! Can't wait to read and explore everything >,< It will take a lot of time I know but I will wait patiently. Focus on your irl okay! Just never give up on any idea on your SKK fics bc pls remember that there will be someone else waiting and adore every brilliant thoughts you pour on your writings even if that someone is just only one person!!! (yeah that one person is ME, I'M ONE OF YOUR DEDICATED FANS 😭)

Oh my god I'm blabbering too much! Anyways, to answer your question, if you have a bit of free time to consume your time by interacting with any SKK or BSD fans through an interactive social media, I recommend you to create an account. I asked this bc some writers prefer to tell their schedules on their works or share their work processes or promote their fics through twitter. I checked your ao3 profile and saw you shared your Tumblr account and I felt relieved bc at least you provided something for me to reach you. I'm not active at all here but at least I can interact with you through this ask. Bc idk why, whenever I find any good writers, I feel the urge to stay connected and soon, after I overcome my temporary-introvert-self, I wanted to connect with them through a social media account, preferably on twitter bc I'm quite active there. But no pressure to you though! I don't want to stress or force you, I just shared my opinion so if you think it's time to create a twitter account, do tell me through your author's note in fics okay!

alright. alrightalrightalright. so. you basically made me completely insane by sending me this and i want you to take responsibility for this RIGHT NOW BY COMING HERE AND LETTING ME KISS YOU A BIG FAT FOREHEAD KISS. NON-NEGOTIABLE.

i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. i respect your wish to be anonymous, and to be shy (i’m plenty shy myself, so hey, it’s all good) but the fact that you felt the need to express your love for my fics ANYWAYS? DESPITE THAT? that’s a love language. that’s actually detrimental to my already off-the-charts delusion, and all i can do is sit behind my useless screen, smile extremely big like some clown, and say thank you. thank you for loving my work, thank you for giving it so much affection, and thank you for the motivation and support that readers like you unknowingly give me.

i would like to go on a small tangent⸺when i was writing I’DAY(WMHAMN), which was my first work ever, i was in a bad place mentally, (and perhaps that’s why i did the angst so well, ahem 😭) and it took a toll on me to continue writing chapters because at one point i HATED that fic, but it was the readers consistently telling me how much they loved it and how much they’re looking forward to the next chapter that really made it possible for me to finish it. you readers should NEVER underestimate your power, because your feedback is sometimes the only thing that keeps us going, so. simply. thank you. thank you SO INCREDIBLY MUCH, for speaking out and giving me another reason to keep writing, and for simply MAKING ME DAY, and i’m going to keep writing just for people like you, and i’m going to give it the best i have so you can keep loving it! 🤍

i am just a little guy writing fics and i am completely mundane and sort of a loser bc we all have a little bit of loserim in us if we’re ao3 users, but i will keep this message in my heart for years to come. know that you’re loved, know that you’re remembered, know that you absolutely made me crazy with this.

and since you’ve asked so politely, i’ll look into making a twt account. i don’t think i’ll be very active, but i don’t see the harm in making one anyway! promise i’ll let you guys know once i make one 🥰

HERE’S MR. CAT GIVING YOU A FLOWER FROM MY SIDE! ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU, MY BELOVED <3 💕💖💗💞🥰

p.s.⸺ don’t hesitate to give me a name (ANY name) so i can dedicate a chapter to you 💌 i love doing that for my readers so. do so at once if you can! much love, always, always, always.

[rileyslibrary]

Where’s my pen, Lt.?

Summary: You’re PMSing, and Ghost comes to the rescue.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,110

Notes:

Angst and fluff

Dedicated to my ✨ anon

Want more?

———————————————————————

How can you be angry, sad, and tired all at the same time? It’s a never-ending cycle. Every month right before your period, you feel like shit. What did your species do to deserve such a cruel and recurring punishment? What a selfish b*tch that Eve was. So much for taking one for the team.

You’re standing in front of a table with a shattered drone resting on its mahogany top. Fortunately, with the right tools, carbon fibre is easy to repair. Unfortunately, this army base doesn’t have the necessary equipment and personnel for the job. It can be a complex task if you don’t have the resources, especially if you lack the energy and strength to do it just by yourself.

Ghost is sitting in the corner of the room, cleaning his handgun. He looks calm—sirene—as if he didn’t just stare death straight in the eyes a few hours ago. How does he do that?

On the contrary, your movements are sluggish, you have terrible back pain, and you lack the motivation to complete even the most basic tasks. But you have to fix that drone for its next mission.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in one of the drone’s camera lenses. You’re unrecognisable. Your hair is acting up again, with unruly strands forming a halo at the crown of your head. Not only that, but your reflection reveals another issue. You take a closer look at your face. Fuck; another pimple. It decided to settle on your chin this time. Great—just great.

“Everything alright?” He asks, interrupting your thoughts.

“Y-yes, ready to start the process.” You answer with false confidence. Can he tell you’re faking it? Probably.

He says nothing but keeps staring at you with an unreadable expression, his silence giving an answer in itself. After what seemed like an eternity, he stands up and walks towards the door, exiting the room and leaving you alone.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, exhaling in relief. Come on, get a hold of yourself. Focus.

You gather your hair up and fix it with whatever you have available in front of you. Now is not the time to be making stylistic decisions. You’re not here to compete in a pageant, anyway. What you need to do is fix that damn thing and fast.

You roll up your sleeves, grab your notepad, and open it on a new page. You pick up your p-

Where’s your pen?

You begin searching the table for your missing item, picking up drone components and putting them back in an unruly manner.

Maybe it rolled off the table!

You kneel on the floor, furiously searching for your pen as if you’d lost your most treasured asset. Where did it go? It can’t just grow legs and walk away! It must be here, somewhere.

You stumble as you rise to your feet, bumping your head on the table’s corner. Dizzy and frustrated, you stay on all fours, attempting to calm yourself with every ounce of dignity you have left.

Until you ultimately give up. So much for the confidence boost you tried to give yourself a few moments ago. You roll around and sit on the floor, drawing your knees close to your chest and burying your face in them as you let out a long, deep sigh.

“Is that part of the repair process, soldier?” Ghost asks as he re-enters the room, “do you grieve the drone first before you glue it back together?”

Today, of all days, he decided to act like an asshole.

“I misplaced my pen, Lieutenant,” you reply, still seated on the floor.

“You’re crying because you misplaced your pen.” He repeats in a deep, monotonous voice.

“I’m not cr- forget it.” You sigh defeated.

You can’t tell him what’s going on inside you. He’ll never understand. Ghost could take a bullet to the shoulder and still manage to climb a mountain while you’re whining about a minor inconvenience.

“Get up.” He commands, and you follow his orders. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and attempt to stand as straight as possible.

He stares at you with those interrogative eyes of his and slides something from across the table. You look down at the purple-wrapped rectangle in front of you.

A chocolate bar.

“I know what’s up,” he says, shrugging as he looks at the chocolate, “you tend to be like that a few days before.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “How do you know?”

“I keep a log,” he explains. “I might be confident enough setting up an ambush in the middle of the desert, but I don’t push my luck with you.”

You crack a smile and accept the chocolate. “Thank you, Ghost,” you mutter, eyeing the piece of candy. He keeps a log, huh? What a guy.

“About that pen you were looking for,” he continues, “it’s in that patty of yours,” he explains and points at you.

In the what of yours??? You stand perplexed by his last statement until he gestures toward the back of his head. You mimic his actions and chuckle in embarrassment as you realise what he’s referring to. But of course! You used the pen to secure your hair. You exhale in relief and pick the pen off to set it on the notepad.

“You’re a lifesaver, Simon.” You reply.

“Keep your gratitude for the battlefield, soldier,” he adds dismissively. He’s obviously flattered, but he’ll never confess it. “Now tell me, how’s your back doing?” He asks, “still in pain?”

You nod. “Hurts like a motherfucker, sir.”

“Let me see,” he says, and you lift your hair up to expose the back of your neck. He moves in closer to get a better look, and you can feel the heat of his breath against your skin. His fingers are gentle as he works his way down your neck, kneading the soreness and pain away with skill. You wince as you feel his touch, but the pain is nothing compared to what it was before he began to work his magic.

“Oh, and, uh, Lieutenant?” You whisper softly, almost inaudibly, as you feel the tension leaving your body.

“Hm?” He murmurs, his strong hands now carefully massaging your shoulders.

“It’s called a bun,” you say with a smirk, “not a patty.”

———————————————————————

[willowfolksong]

Hi! I have a request but its totally fine if you dont have the time to do it :]] im going to be requesting a Sakusa Kiyoomi x f!reader wherein Sakusa and reader have this complicated no label thing going on. Reader really likes them but Sakusa's still very much in love with his ex. Reader's aware of this but still wants to be with him 🥲🥲🥲(like maybe he's avoiding doinh certain things because it reminds him of his ex or he mistakens reader for his ex and what his ex likes) After some time, maybe reader gets tired of this but its only when Sakusa realizes that he's in love with reader and wants them to stay :((( Fluffy ending pls 🥺🥲 + I love all of ur works and how u turn requests into amazing stories

you never called it what it was

- Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

- SFW; slightly suggestive

a/n: hiiiii anon!!!! I loved this request. I don't know why I love writing Sakusa angst so much, honestly 🤣 our poor boy. I will have to apologize tho, I PROMISE YOU'LL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING FOR THIS ONE 🥺 It's just that for the sake of the story, I wanted to dedicate a whole chapter to reconciliation, and so I decided to make this into two parts. I really really really hope you dont mind 🥺✨ and I hope you enjoy this. Always let me know! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME ❤

Love,

Willow ❄

Requests are open! ❄

Part I - Part II

You wake up on Kiyoomi's bed after a long night of sex, and you can't remember where your bra is, but the imprints on your hips are enough reminder of what truly happened during the night.

And you really don't need your bra anyway.

"I hope you understand that this doesn't means anything" he tells you, when you're about to leave his flat. He called you a taxi, made you breakfast, and even engaged in small talk with you, while you munched on your toasts and drunk your coffee. But that's as far as his niceness goes, and you're actually thankful for the warning.

"I get that" you say with a smile, and stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "It was fun, that's all"

Kiyoomi nods, and watches as you climb into the car and disappear down the road, before going back to his apartment.

Jokes on you, because you didn't get shit.

You always had a penchant for running late.  You were never on time for school, or dates, or anything before, really. In a more poetical way, you feel that that also applies for your relationship with Kiyoomi Sakusa. You had a crush on him for your three high school years, and only got the courage to confess when he got himself a girlfriend, starting college.

Late, always late.

You knew about the breakup, from a mutual friend. Nasty thing, with nasty accusations and petty fights that left Kiyoomi broken and lonely. More than before. Meeting him in the club was a coincidence, at least you could say that in your favor. Calling him a couple of days later to hang out, wasn't.

"This is your phone number, right?" he asks you one night, after another round of sex. You're sitting against the headboard, scrolling through Pinterest, when he sudenly shows you the screen of his phone. You're face to face with all the times you've called him.

"Ahm... yeah? You don't have me on your phone?"

"I'm going to put you on my contact list now" he explains, as if it's only normal that he does it now, after you've been having sex for a few weeks.

You watch him type your name above your number. Nothing more, nothing less. And then you get to see his favorite contacts, right before he can turn off the screen. A pet name that can only belong to his ex is at the top.

You try not to think too much about it.

But you do anyway.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" you friend asks you, worry evident on her face "A halfassed relationship with a man that still loves someone else?"

"I don't want anything" you roll your eyes, and take another sip of your coffee. Weekly reunions to catch up with your best friend are great, until she starts to actually try to give you advice. You're bad with advice "Didn't you heard me? We're keeping it casual"

"Casual" your friend repeats, unimpressed.

You nod "Yeah. Having fun. No strings attached"

"No strings attached with your high school crush? I don't know, it sounds like you've been attached from way before he even knew your name"

"That was before" you whine "I'm a grown up now. I know what I'm doing"

"I'm just warning you" you friend shrugs "Komori told me that they had a nasty breakup, and that Sakusa's still not over her. Just... watch out"

"I will, seriously. Don't worry"

You don't.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" you say, just because Kiyoomi looks as if he's been struck by lighting. You swallow around nothing and take another bite of your food, chewing thoughtfully and trying to make the tension go away "I was just curious, that's all"

"We had a... bad breakup" Kiyoomi finally answers, still looking down at his food.

It's the first time you two are having the most similar thing to a date, and you chose to ask him about his ex.

Of course.

"Yeah, I've heard. I'm sorry"

"It's in the past"

"Is it?"

When he looks up at you, his eyes seem like they're glowing. "Why are you asking so many questions?"

"It's nothing"

It's everything.

You remember why you used to like him so much one fateful winter day, when he falls asleep in your lap. You're both watching some silly Christmas movie that neither of you particularly likes, and he's so tired from practice that he closes his eyes for a moment, and then he's out like a light.

It's the softness in his expression, the way his eyelids flutter close, with his long lashes almost touching his cheeks. The curly hair, falling messily on his forehead. The soft Sakusa Kiyoomi, that you saw sitting down alone on a bench, the first day of school, waiting patiently for the gym to open. You took a liking to his most vulnerable side, and then the rest came easily.

You've been seeing each other for a while now, and you know you're not his girlfriend. You don't even have to ask. You go on dates, have sex, hang out on his appartment— but he still has his ex under that silly nickname on his phone, and there's a picture of her on the counter. A selfie she took, with Kiyoomi smiling softly on the background.

He calls her name softly, after you stand up and lay his head on the couch, just to get a much closer look of the photo you've never actually cared for before.

"It's just me" you say out loud,  because deep down you want him to feel ashamed for calling you another's woman name.

If he regrets it, he doesn't shows it. He looks at you with sleepy eyes and becomes you to join him on the couch again. You purposely place the frame upside down.

"Oh, you're not coming" you say to Kiyoomi, while fixing your hair and checking to see if your makeup it's still in place. His apartment is closer to the party your friend's are throwing, and so you decided to change and get ready there.

It's been six months of this. You think it's fine.

Kiyoomi looks up with a start, and frowns when you turn around to ask him what's wrong.

"I thought you would want me to come with you"

"I know you don't like parties. So no"

He still looks incredibly surprised, and folds his arms over his chest when you sit beside him to put your shoes on "Are you sure?"

"Do you want to come?"

He doesn't hesitates "No"

"Then that's it. I wouldn't want to force you to do something you don't like"

You finish up with your heels to find him staring at you odly. There's something swimming in the dark of his eyes, that makes you simultaneously want to kiss him and step away from him. You do neither, staying frozen in place under his gaze.

"I'm not very... used to that" he finally whispers.

You purse your lips and stand up with a huff.

Of course he's not.

"I'm not your ex, Kiyoomi"

"I know that" he says, and you don't find any bite in his voice. It's still soft, and almost unsure, and you can't resist looking back. He's watching his hands intently. "I know that"

You really wish he did

"She called me" he tells you during dinner. You're both at your appartment, because apparently that's something you do now.

You know who 'she' is without having to ask.

"Oh?"

"Said she's in town, and wants to stop by to get some things she left behind at my place"

"I see"

"So I don't think we can see each other this Saturday"

You drink your wine in one go. Kiyoomi watches you nod out of the corner of his eye, before you go back to the meal you prepared specifically for him. He thought you didn't knew how to cook. He was wrong, of course. She was the one that didn't knew how to.

Just a simple confusion, really.

"It's alright" you lie.

"I think I'm in love with him" you say to your friend on the phone, and then pause, waiting for her to talk. When she doesn't, you press on, fed up with yourself, with her, with Kiyoomi and with the world "Aren't you going to say I told you so?"

"I know" it's what she says "I'm sorry"

You nod, even tho she can't see you, and cry yourself to sleep.

You call him on Friday, to tell him that you want to show him a special place. He's slightly reluctant, but agrees to go with you anyway. It's been getting easier, to go out and go to different places together. You think about that during the ride, while Kiyoomi silently looks out the window. It's been a year since you started whatever you have. From only hanging out in his appartament to slowly starting going places, you've come a long way. If only...

"Why are we here?" Kiyoomi asks, closing the car door behind him.

You breathe in, smile, and take off your shoes. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"I used to come here a lot. When we lived nearby"

"You used to live around here?"

You nod, and make your way to the ocean. You're not sure if Kiyoomi will follow, but you flop down on the sand either way, bringing your knees to your chest. The sun is slowly setting down, and while the sky turns every shade of red, you can only think about how you really, really wish this could have worked.

You're a bit surprised when he comes to stand beside you— still wearing his shoes, of course.

"When I was feeling down, or too stressed out, my mom drove me here to watch the sunset. She wanted me to know that as sure as the sun would always come out the next day, things would also get better" you can't see what expresion Kiyomi is making, since half of his face is covered by a mask, but at least his eyes are trained on you. "Since we won't be seeing each other tomorrow" you add, trying hard not to sound too bitter about it "And you'll be leaving early on Sunday morning to your game, I wanted to bring you here today. I know your Sunday match against the Addlers is an important one and... well, I know you're stressed" you glance at him out of the corner of your eye, half expecting for him to scoff and tell you he's fine. He doesn't. He's still looking at you with that same intensity that makes you look back at the sea, embarrased "And I thought maybe here, you could find a bit of peace. As I used to, when I was younger" you laugh, gently rubbing your arms against the chilly air "Of course, I was only a dumb kid back when my mother used to bring me here, and you have real adult life problems. But still. This is like my place and... yeah"

You feel his jacket over your shoulders before you have a chance to look up and find him leaning over you. He's not wearing his mask anymore.

"I don't think I have a place" he tells you softly.

You wish he just sat down beside you, but you know that's just too much to ask. "No?"

"I just never thought about it"

"I get that, yeah"

When the last ray of sun dies in the horizon, you stand up and dust your pants. Kiyoomi grabs your hand as you're walking back to the car.

"We'll see each other after the game"

You don't check your phone until late at night that Saturday. He had sent you a text around 5 p.m, asking how was your day.

You don't answer.

You recognize the scarf on the back of the couch. His ex was wearing it in that picture you turned upside down one day, when you still didn't knew how strong your feelings were. Your first thought it's that it makes sense she still has the same one, since it's so hard to buy winter clothes.

It's called intrusive thoughts. You fixate on small, insignificant details when you're nervous, to avoid thinking about the bigger picture.

The bigger picture being that the ex of your non-boyfriend/not just a friend Sakusa Kiyoomi is still there, and that she probably went to his game, after spending the weekend together.

It's what arriving unannounced gets you.

It's what entering a mockup of a relationship with a man that it's clearly not over his ex gets you.

Your mom used to tell you that contrary to popular belief, we take the biggest decisions in our life without much thinking, without much planning. Epiphanies just happen.

You turn around, leave the door open behind you, and calmly walk down the stairs.

You even put some music on your way home, rolling down the windows to feel the fresh air of night.

When you get to your place, you have one missed call from him.

You turn off the radio, stare at the screen for twenty seconds that feel like a last time, and text back.

You block his number, and then burst into tears.

[mikithelibrarian]

Hey! Can request a reader × Lisoo plot, wherein, Lisoo are called to the army station regarding their spouse. They are worried sick and imagine the worst possible scenarios that might have happened to their spouse, since y/n works as a army general. But, upon reaching they see their spouse with a baby, peacefully sleeping on their chest and are informed that Y/N has agreed to foster the baby who's a war refuge. But this is one of the foster fail stories, where they adopt the baby as their own in the end, not able to get separated from the baby. ( Angst with happy ending).

P.S I love your works and it helps my body to pump more happy hormones in my system. 😇

Love,

J

Won´t Leave You - Poly! BLACKPINK Lisoo - GN! Reader

Angst/Fluff

First of all, I'm so sorry about not updating anything in months. Life was just too much and whatever time I could dedicate to writing, the inspiration wouldn't flow as normal, and I didn't want to release something just because I had to.

Anyways, here's your request! I'm very glad you liked my works (And I hope you still do since this request was made around September...)

Anyways, and as some side notes; I've seen other writers put like a list of specific anons, naming them with emojis and stuff, should I open one and call you Captains instead of anons?

And of course, I will still update It Takes Two and AUs.

Extra Note: In this story, we’ll jump a little bit into the future. Jisoo and you will be around 35 years old, while Lisa is 33.

TW: Mentions of war, little bit of strong language (?)

Added code: (Y/CN) - Your Child’s Name (I made your baby gender neutral too, for you to choose what you wanted)

And as another extra note, while I investigated about military ranks and adoption processes, I wasn’t realistic about them in the story, not wanting to over complicate the story legal terms and all that stuff.

Now, onto the reading!

When fate decides to unite different souls, it's difficult to refuse its calling

When they were called to the army base, they expected the worst, and the fact that you took a trip to the front lines to supervise everything didn’t help their nerves. It even came to a point that Lisa started shaking a little bit, crying in the van from time to time, she couldn’t lose you, both of them couldn’t lose you.

Now, imagine their surprise when they saw you there, at your office, asleep on your chair, and with a little baby sleeping on your chest as you leaned backwards. “General (L/N) is very tired as you see” The soldier that escorted them to your office whispered. “But after what they did, I guess they deserved this and months of vacation”

“What did (Y/N) do?” Jisoo asked in a low voice and with a confused tone as she only thought you were there to supervise some things, ‘just a routinary task’ you said.

“The General coordinated our last military operation, we won because of it”

Jisoo and Lisa didn’t seem amused by this new information, but before proceeding to kill you, there was another matter to attend.

“And who is that kid?” Lisa questioned.

“I actually don’t know a lot about the story” The soldier answered “I should let you discuss that privately, I’m afraid I’ve said more than what I should have, if you’ll excuse me”

As soon as the soldier exited the room, Lisa and Jisoo looked at each other and then back at you, debating if they should kill you or praise you, because: number one, you lied to them; number two, you came unharmed and with a victory in your hand; three, you apparently saved a baby and four, you kept the child without at least asking if they’d agree, although, considering you were in, this last point they could look over.

Jisoo walked towards you, while Lisa stayed in her place, and gently shook your shoulder, waking you up after some seconds. You slowly opened your eyes, still feeling your body as if you are carrying a ton of weight, but as soon as you saw the beautiful face of one of your girlfriends, all of it just vanished away… up until you noticed the frown in her face and knew you were lowkey screwed.

Then, you noticed your other girlfriend, Lisa, standing just a few steps away with her arms crossed.

Now… You’ve seen the face of death, met her in the eye and drank a coffee with her as you tell her all about your military career; you’ve been at the wrong side of a gun barrel and saw your life through the inside of a rifle up until it ended on the dim shine of the bullet just at the bottom of it… But nothing could beat the angry face of your partners.

At that sight, you whispered whatever defense you could think of. “Before you think about killing me, I have a baby in my arms who has already taken a liking towards me” None of them talked back at you, making your nerves to skyrocket. “Look, I lied, I actually…”

“We know” Lisa interrupted you. “Let’s discuss this at home” Jisoo nodded, and you sighed, already carefully planning how you could win their forgiveness.

-

“Start” Jisoo instructed you. The three of you at your dining room, both of your girlfriends across you as if they were judging you in a court, all while the baby was still asleep in your room.

“I was called by my superiors to coordinate the last advance of our army, it was an order, not a request. I lied because I knew how risky it was and I preferred that, if I died, you would just know about it all at once instead of torturing for weeks, making you wonder if I’d return alive or not” You put your hands together on the table, nailing your eyes on them, refusing to the meet the couple of stares in front of you. “I was wrong, I know and about that baby in our room… after our victory, some of my soldiers heard crying in one of the alleys and when they went to investigate, well, there was a woman, shot in the back multiple times but who still remembered to fall sideways so she could protect the baby in her arms. When I heard about that, I felt guilty, even if none of soldiers killed her, it happened through the course of my operation, so I offered myself to foster the baby while the government take care of all the papers and authorizations to look for adoptive parents” Sighing, you looked up and saw the small tears forming in their eyes. “I’m so sorry”

“You’ve never lied to us” Jisoo pointed out. “So as long as you don’t make it into a usual thing, I forgive you”

“I do too, but I prefer to know you are in danger instead of just knowing that one day, you’ll never come back to us” Lisa added just before some cries started to echo around the penthouse.

“I’ll see what they need” Jisoo and Lisa nodded before you stood up and went to your room.

“I’ll order food for the baby and…” Jisoo looked at Lisa and put her hand on hers over Lisa’s lap. “…I’ll let you choose their clothing” The Thai smiled brightly.

“I’ll do my best”

-

Some weeks have passed ever since, and your life had drastically turned. You were still working in the army, but you have been less diligent about it, trying to take most of your free time to think about (Y/CN), and yes, along with both of your girlfriends you named the baby, even if you were still fostering them, just like right now.

You were on your coach, baby in your arms and holding the feeding bottle to (Y/CN)’s mouth, Jisoo and Lisa looking at you in adoration.

“I’ll resign from the army” You suddenly said, still looking at the baby, leaving Jisoo and Lisa into a little bit of a shock.

“Why so suddenly?” Lisa asked.

“It’s not sudden, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I just didn’t have the courage to imagine a life outside the army, but after what happened in the last operation, the blood that was spilled under my orders, I just feel that this is the right option”

“We’ll always support you” Jisoo smiled at you.

“I know” You stopped feeding the baby and saw how their little eyes looked at you, in pure adoration. You were their protection, almost by instinct they saw you as their shelter, their parent.

That moment would have lasted longer just if your phone hadn’t started to ring scaring the baby. (Y/CN) started to cry because of the sudden noise, making Lisa to stand up and take the baby off your arms and take them into your room so you could talk to whoever was calling you.

As soon as you picked up the phone and listened to the voice on the other side of the line greeting you, you knew what this call was about. So, you just greet them and let them talk as you closed your eyes, confusing Jisoo.

“Have a good day” You ended the call and looked at Jisoo. “A couple has started searching to adopt an international baby and adoption services want to give them (Y/CN)”

Jisoo just nodded and stayed quiet.

This was expected to happen, so, why did you feel like that? Broken?

“Look!” Lisa whispered-yelled as she entered the living room, with a big smile on her face. “I finally managed to calm (Y/CN) down” Jisoo and you looked at Lisa, her happy face breaking both of your hearts even more. “Did something happen?”

“Adoption services want to give (Y/CN) to a couple” Lisa’s smile suddenly disappeared, and her eyes fell on the sleeping face of (Y/CN).

No words were spoken afterwards.

-

That dreaded day has arrived. All the baby things the three of you bought were now packed and ready to be given to adoption services as soon as the ring the bell of your home.

Jisoo was carrying (Y/CN), looking intently at the baby while sitting on the couch, wanting to engrave their face in her mind, with Lisa and you on her sides, doing the same as Jisoo.

“I don’t want to let (Y/CN) go…” Jisoo whispered as her hand very gently caressed the head of the baby.

“I love you (Y/CN)” Lisa sadly smiled.

But you, you were quiet.

Back when you were training, you were taught not to care, to think rationally, to fight and to follow orders, not to against them; but how could you ever do that now?

It was cruel, wasn’t it?

One thing was to have never met (Y/CN), for their biological mother to survive, to never feel this kind of happiness and sadness.

But to meet her, feeling all these emotions and suddenly having to let her go, that was another thing.

The ring of your doorbell sounded across your home, Lisa and Jisoo suddenly tensing up at what that meant, but still, they did not let go, they wanted to hold onto (Y/CN) until the last second.

“I’ll go open the door” You offered and stood up without receiving any kind of response.

All that Jisoo and Lisa wished was to wake up, this had to be a nightmare. It felt too surreal, it broke them to a point where they were questioning why they would let themselves love (Y/CN) if they knew someday, they had to go.

When they heard the door open, Lisa put her head on Jisoo’s shoulder, seeking any kind of comfort.

It felt like an eternity until they heard the door close and some steps getting near them and stopping just behind them. They did not want to look, fearing that as soon as they turn around, they’ll people in fancy suits asking them to give up (Y/CN).

“(Y/CN)’s adoption process has started” Your voice brought with it the start of their worst fear, there was no turning back now, (Y/CN) was no longer under your care. “After some visits to the psychologist and some others from adoptions services for evaluation, they should give us the adoption certificate for (Y/CN)”

Did they hear correctly?

Give us? Us?

Both of them turned around slowly and noticed the lack of any personnel from adoption services.

“(Y/CN) is going to be our kid” Lisa was the first to react and run towards you, jumping into your arms and kissing you all over your face. Jisoo smiled brightly and looked towards (Y/CN), their eyes were open and looking back at her with that spark only (Y/CN) could have.

Jisoo stood up and went towards Lisa and you, getting as close to you as possible. All three of you looked at (Y/CN), finally, without any fear, you could call yourselves their parents.

Once you love someone, you give them a part of your heart, as a proof of that devotion; then, it is no surprise that when they leave you, it hurts like hell. A part of your heart has been taken away, it will take years to repair and even then, you won't be the same one ever again.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[malka-lisitsa]

My blog may be only like 5 months old, but I managed to hit a pretty big milestone for followers anyway! Wanted to say thank you to all of you who follow me and subscribe to the cult of Katherine. Even if we don't interact or write I really do appreciate your follow and support. I adore all the random anons I get, you guys make being here so much fun and Im so glad that you chose to follow me.

While I love all of you there are a few people I would like to escpecially thank for my rpc family wouldn't be the same without them!

@baby-royalty - You were my first follow on this site, we were DRAWN to each other. It has been a pleasure and a privilege helping Lizzy develop more into her own person. As far as OC Dathrine children are concerned you will always be my one and only, I love you endlessly. Obiche tem Zvezdichke.

@multi-royalty - Dat my bes fran, she a rl bad bitch. The Caroline to my Elena. Seeing you grow and improve as a writer while you explore your wide range of characters has been so heart warming to see. You have a knack for being able to pick up just about any character youre asked to and do them proficiently, which is a skill not everyone posesses! But no matter who youre writing, you will always be my favourite Caroline. xoxo

@hybrid-royalty-main - U R A SCRUB. But despite that I have to admit I am impressed with how fully you have dedicated yourself to the RPC and become such a large part of my affilliates circle. You play all of my boys and then also my tormenter and you do them all so well. Red string Stefrine is what the world DESERVED in tvd, and I am so pleased to give you the chance to write it with me <3 muwah muwah.

@sonofmikael/@bunnyblooded - I WAITED THREE WHOLE MONTHS from the moment I joined and found your blog I waited with baited breath to see if you would EVER come back. Then I was alerted and worked my way into your notifications and then BOOM. Follow back. I was so excited, and then YOU HAD A STEFAN BLOG TOO??? I mean, mostly built for a klefan AU which i mean i guess I forgive you Stefrien supremacy but really where its AT?? Our Stelena is something special. Idk how or why, but I write my favourite Stelena stuff with you, it just flows so beautifully. NOW IF ONLY YOU WOULD DO YOUR DRAFTS- jk. I love you. But really.

@faiththesinfulslayer - GIRL????? GIRL???? When we first started interacting I did NOT expect their relationship to evolve into what it has. Faith and Katherine are just one of my fave pairings because they GET each other in a way not many other's can. Its so important to them and FOR THEM you know? I adore seeing you on my dash and even tho she will deny it to the end of time Katherine and I DO notice when youre gone and we DO miss you both. We are always waiting to see our girls active and killin it on the dash <3 know that you are very loved.

A few other mentions that make my dash amazing. I love seeing all of you pop up in my notifications and my feed. All of you are amazing writers with wonderful grasps on your characters and you all have made my experience here on this blog more amazing than I could have asked for. From banter to deep dive angst and character development, writing with you guys has made my experience amazing. I am very happy to be mutuals and write with all of you.

@tobeblamed @touchedbydestiny @ladamedemartel @lordofthestrix @deceptivemorals @witch3d @townwxtch @siiinfultemptation @jeremydied @viikingwitch @seesgood @langdhon @tormentias @demone-volpe @sindicate @hcpemikaelscn @roshale @ofwaywardsunshine @salvatoraes @klaeus

And just a quick shout out to a few more special people-

The OC hall of fame, the love and devotion you have for your characters is inspiring and I am heavily invested in them on my dash.

@unbearablyindifferent @ravenskeeper @demonstigma

Katherine ESPECIALLY adores bothering Sarah and Alice. &lt;3

Thank you all again for your love and support! If you weren't mentioned don't worry! It's nothing personal, these are just the blogs that have been my faves for a large part of my 5 or so months in this RPC. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me as a writer and on this blog, but I hope you all are a part of it <;3

[willowedwisteria]

I need an alternative version of the last ask (the ask that is the one that the villain reader ended up destroying everything and killing the archons by their elements,etc) . That ended up with fluff, and the genshin characters not dying. For some reason my heart wants angst, and after reading angst it just wants and au of it that is fluff.

⁂~The Embers of the Divine~⁂

Summary -> Before Teyvat can obliterate all of the archons and themselves, you escaped by the skin of your teeth and calmed them down.

Note -> The piece that this anon is talking about is my "The ashes of the Divine" piece. Thank you to @anfre109 for helping me find it!

Genre -> Hurt to comfort

You stared at the statue behind you in front of the cathedral. The shape of its eyes, its facial features, its body, was the same as yours. You didn't mean to copy a God, you were just born like this. You were just... you.

You didn't decide to look like a God, you didn't mean to mock anyone. All you did was walk around to receive those hateful and cold glares, glares that could kill someone because of the pressure.

Your hands and feet were bound by rope, meaning the option of escape isn't possible. It's not as if you could run anyway, there were archers from afar, lead by Amber, ready to aim their arrows right at your head.

You have more belief in their aim than your skill of escaping.

The Knights pulled you up, temporarily untying the rope clasping your feet together. They lead you to a stake, binding you to it as the crowd cheers.

Sick. Absolutely horrible.

What crime did you commit? Being born? Liking your own looks? Breathing?

"Imposter, by the grace of the gods and our divine creator, you have been given the chance to speak." Jean announces, "Choose one person to speak to."

Your eyes scan the crowd, looking for anyone that actually cared about you, that didn't treat you like shit.

"Is... Albedo here?" You call the alchemist to your side, wondering if he knows that it's his fault you're here, but... it isn't his fault you were treated as less than human.

"No. Our chief alchemist isn't present currently. Our invitation dedicated to him arrived late, so I presume that he'll be reaching late as well." Kaeya remarks, a scowl on his face.

You sigh, there goes your 'knight in shining armor'.

"Do you have anyone else you want to speak to?" Jean asks, a small look of pity shining in her eyes.

"Ah, there's... Klee. Is she here?" You ask excitedly.

Jean's taken aback reaction to your request was amusing despite your current predicament. Knights bring Klee over to your side, their swords were drawn in the case that you try anything.

"Your grace?" She looks up to you, then to the statue, pointing cheerily.

"Haha, no, I'm not the creator. I wouldn't be treated like this if I was."

"No way! You have to be their grace, you look exactly the same!" Klee comments, "If you really aren't their grace, then how do you look so similar to them?"

Chuckling, you continue your conversation with her, you wanted your last moment to be the happiest. "I was born like this. I never thought I would look so similar to a high and mighty god."

"Really? Klee wonders if she also looks like another God?"

"Well then, you're going to have to keep searching then! I found out I looked the same to the creator by just walking around and breathing!"

"Then Klee should do the same, right?" Klee asks, her hands on her hips, a grin on her face.

The Knights pull Klee away, not wanting Klee to befriend you. You smile, trying to wave at the girl with your bound hand. Klee waves at you, a bit sad that she has to leave.

Now, the real ceremony began, the archons surrounded you with a lighted torch in hand.

You could see their excitement, you could see how little you meant to them through those wicked smiles plastered onto their smug faces. It made your gut twist and turn.

As the crowd counted down from 5, you looked up, smiling. Death was cruel, but it was better to be dead than to live being ostracized and hated.

"One!" The crowd screamed as the archons threw their torches under your feet, fire starting to burn your toes. Beads of sweat ran down your face. Was it the heat or your fear of death? You couldn't tell and you didn't really care.

People began throwing their own firewood, fueling the fire. You couldn't move, you tried.

Plants escaped through the corners of the tiles below you, reaching over to you as your felt your feet scorching. What are you saying? Could you even feel your feet anymore?

"Teyvat?" You whispered, looking at the plant as its stem began burning with you. The crowd looked at it in confusion and shock. "It's okay, there's no need to burn yourself trying to help me."

Fluttering your eyes shut your head leaned against the stake behind you, tears streaming down your cheeks as you felt the leaves of the plants brush against your skin.

"Quickly!" Albedo called out, pushing the crowd away and creating a clear path for Mona to rush through.

Mona had a gut feeling that there was something off about you, but the stars gave her a more clear answer to follow. "The opposite of an imposter accused of sinning despite being the one sinned against."

Albedo telling her about him bringing you to Teyvat only confirmed her suspicions.

"Albedo! Mona! What is the meaning of this?!" Lisa calls out, her catalyst out, ready to attack the pair.

As Mona uses her hydro vision to put out the fire, Albedo explains the situation, loud and clear for even you to hear.

"I was able to bring the creator to our world. I brought them to the entrance of Mondstadt and returned to my lab, thinking that the people of Mondstadt would recognize their grace. It seems like my prediction was incorrect."

Lisa's face paled and the crowd went dead quiet. Hydro and Cryo wielders began using their vision to put out the fire as people began bringing buckets of water over.

Oh, how the tables turn.

Once the fire was put out, the burns on your feet were painfully obvious, you were untied from the ropes binding you to the stake.

You fell into Albedo's arms, unable to properly walk because of the pain stinging in your legs. Healers surrounded you as a small plant touched your face.

"I'm okay. Don't worry."

Tag list: @lunavixia, @xyliope, @bardisipatos, @yourfaveisblack, @darling-rikafu, @anfre109 (Sorry for tagging you twice), @under-a-starry-night, @karmawonders, @irethepotato