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kelieah · 4 years

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surprise (peter parker x stark!reader)

summary: you give peter a gift he would have never expected to receive from you

word count: 2.9k

warnings: angst angst angst, fluff, language

edited: sorry this is super late :(

a/n: hehe, happy bday to the cutest puppy of all! thank you to everyone who helped me come up with ideas for this fic, ily all 3000

masterlist

You and Peter have been dating for almost a year now. You both decided to get together after all the chaos that took place in Europe. You two have been friends for quite a while before that, so the fact that your friendship with Peter flourished into something even better is one of the many reasons why you adore him.

His birthday is tomorrow and you wish to make it as special as it can be. Though you’re not exactly sure how to do that. You know your dad would’ve easily bought something tremendously big and written a cheesy yet short letter with it, and Peter would love it. But if you did the same, it wouldn’t be right. Right?

The night before his birthday, you were in a spiral. You had already planned a surprise party for him at his apartment though that was the least of your worries. You were pacing around your room, unsure if the gifts you’ve been preparing for weeks was enough or if you should add more things.

Over the years you’ve been friends with him and the months you’ve been dating him, you put together memories and experiences all in a scrapbook. It looked cute and simple on the outside, but once you opened it up, the pages were filled with photos, letters, doodles, and colors. Many references or inside jokes were scattered along the side margins and stickers were put accordingly. You made sure it was perfect, but your gift still felt incomplete to you.

You wanted to be extra. You had to be extra. You remember your mom saying it was something you got from your dad. That man was always one for his dramatics. So you stayed up a bit later than you should’ve, making tiny little paper stars with sweet compliments, affirmations, and advice in them. Then you made as many as you can to fill up a glass jar shaped like R2-D2.

Though to you, that still wasn’t enough. So you searched and searched and eventually found some vintage Star-Wars comics. Ignoring the fact that they were over a thousand bucks, you bought a dozen or so. His gifts were spread across your bed and you stared at it for what felt like hours.

Is this enough? Is this too much? Will he love it? Will he even like it? Shit.

You remember wanting to sleep and putting it all aside to figure out in the morning. You might’ve forgotten his birthday was the next day with how much you focused on the gifts than the actual date, so you woke up with panic.

You also remembered there was one last thing you wanted to get for Peter but once you glanced at the clock, it was already noon. You overslept.

You feel your heart drop immediately realizing that you weren’t able to text or call Peter a happy birthday or good morning. You assume he must be worried, or hurt or maybe upset? You place your face in your hands and fall into deep thought. Then it hit you, the surprise party is in three hours.

“Morning Friday, read my text messages and voicemails please,” you groggily lean against your bed rest.

“Are you sure, Y/n? You have 243 text messages and 94 voicemails,” Friday informs you.

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “Uhm, actually just read the ones from Mom, Peter, Aunt May, and Happy please,” you mutter.

“Understood,” Friday responds, beginning to go through your messages and voicemails, “Mom has messaged you, “Morning honey. Had to go to some meetings. Nanny is leaving at 1, please watch Morgan. I’ll meet you at the party. Could you bring Morgan with you when you go?” Peter has not messaged or called you. Aunt May has messaged you, “Hi dear! I’ve already baked up some cherry pies for the party, when are you going to be over to decorate? By the way, Peter went out and is probably patrolling,” with a smiley face and heart. Happy has messaged you, “Hello, I already ordered the catering, and went over the invite list. Are you up yet?” and he also left the voicemail saying, “Hopefully you’re up by the time you get this. Most of the Avengers are coming, except Thor, the Saviors, no wait, the Guardians of whatever they’re called, and Captain Marvel. I’m sure you could figure out why. Give me a call when you’re up.” Done.”

“Shit,” you whine loudly. You throw yourself out of bed and get to your morning routine. You quickly tidy up your room, take a quick shower, go through your skincare routine and get dressed up. You decided to put on some makeup and wear nicer clothes for once given it’s your boyfriend’s birthday.

You look around your room and inhale deeply, “Just that one last thing,” you remind yourself and walk off. After getting what you need, the nanny informs you that she’s leaving. You walk over to Morgan’s room and knock the door before entering, “Hi princess, you ready for Spider-Man’s birthday?”

She turns around, all dressed up in a pretty floral dress, “Hi sissy, yes! Don’t you mean, your friend boy?” she giggles, running up to you.

You roll your eyes playfully, “You mean boyfriend? Yes, c’mon pretty girl. We’re going to go now.”

An hour or so later, you’re making your way over to Aunt May and Peter’s apartment with Morgan in the backseat. You felt bad for not greeting Peter at all today but you decided to make it a part of the surprise. “He still has a tracker in his suit!?” you burst out in laughter as you stop at a red light.

“Seems like Tony didn’t get rid of it before, I don’t blame him,” Happy mutters. “You got everything right? Morgan, Peter’s gifts, the decorations, and your head?”

“Yes Happy,” you glance into your back seat, checking in on Morgan and seeing the piled clutter. “I feel like Santa Clause with a bunch of gifts and an elf in the backseat,” you chuckle. Morgan gasps and makes a silly expression at you that brings a smile to your face.

“Maybe you are with all the cookies you eat,” he jokes.

“You’re one to talk, anyway where’s Peter now?” you ask as you drive off as soon as the light turns green.

“He’s swinging around, I saw the news. He’s interacting with fans and interviewers, a pretty rare case.”

“True, he must be trying to distract himself. Am I the only one who hasn’t greeted him yet?” you ask, nervously biting on your bottom lip.

“Yep.”

“Shoot, well I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Let’s hope so, I’ll see you and Morgan when you both get here. Gotta help May out with the pies.”

“Sure, the pies,” you tease, causing Happy to roll his eyes and end the call.

You feel your heart stop as Peter suddenly gives you a call. You fight the urge to pick up and shower him in reassurance and love, but ignore for the sake of the surprise.

Ten to twenty minutes later, you and Morgan arrive at May and Peter’s apartment. You smile and knock on the door, struggling to hold everything in your arms while holding Morgan’s hand.

“Hello hello, you two,” Aunt May opens the door with a bright smile on her face. She lets you in and helps you out, “Took you long enough.”

“Sorry, I overslept. I wasn’t sure if my gifts were enough,” you pout and kiss her cheek.

“That’s okay. Morgan baby, Happy’s in the kitchen.” May smiles and ruffles Morgan’s hair. Morgan hums and hugs her leg, running off.

“These are all your gifts for him? Sweetheart, it’s his birthday not Christmas,” she giggles. “I’m sure he would love anything you get for him, even if it was a cheap lego set.”

“I know I know, it’s just Peter has been through so much. I feel like he deserves the world,” you say bashfully.

“You’re so cute,” she hums and helps you place the many gifts on a certain table. “Remember, you have been through a lot too.”

“Yes, but today’s his day,” you cross your arms. “Anyway, enough chatter. We should decorate now, everyone’s coming over in an hour right?”

“Yep. I also told Peter to swing around for a while and bring Thai food home at 4. He thinks it’s just going to be him, Happy and I. I told him you have work,” she says, grabbing some decorations.

“Okay, perfect. I feel so bad, I haven’t communicated with him since last morning,” you huff and grab some streamers.

“I’m sure he understands, kid gets busy too,” Happy walks over from the kitchen with Morgan trailing behind him. “Man, are these all your gifts for him?” he glances over at a table filled with only your gifts.

“Y-Yes? Why is that such a bad thing,” you groan.

“It’s not, I think,” he glances at May who gives him a look. He puts his hands up in defense and slowly walks back into the kitchen.

“You’re fine, honey. Also, I love your dress, isn’t that?” she tilts her head.

“Yeah, it’s the dress I was wearing on our first date,” you smile to yourself, glancing down at your cherry red dress. It fit perfectly, not too loose or tight and it had pockets. Something you and Peter were always amused by.

After the three of you finish decorating, the guests begin to arrive. Most of the team showed up and you and Peter’s close friends. You let out a sigh of relief and lean on the fire escape railing, looking out at the city. You glance at your watch, “Almost time.”

“Hey there,” you hear from behind you. You look back and see Happy.

“Hey.”

“You doing alright? Peter’s coming soon,” he says and walks next to you, leaning against the railing.

“I know, I just feel like. I did too much? Too less? I’m not sure, I just wanted this day to be perfect for him especially after last year,” you mutter and glance at Happy with teary eyes.

He smiles sadly and pulls you into a hug, “It’s absolutely perfect. You know, Peter isn’t going to be the only one who’s proud.”

“Who else? You?”

“Well, besides me and a bunch of other people. Your dad,” he murmurs.

You feel your heart tighten and you stifle a cry, stuffing your head into his chest. He sighs and hugs you close, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Sometimes I feel like he never left, because everyday I see him in you,” he pulls away, holding your shoulder.

You smile softly and nod, “T-Thank you, Happy really,” you sniffle.

“Of course. You should probably tidy up, your makeup’s running,” he takes a step back.

You laugh half-heartedly, “Alright. Could you tell everyone to get in their places?” you begin to walk towards the apartment.

“Got it,” he nods and follows you back inside.

Your heart was racing, everyone wasn’t sure if he was going to show up at the front door or his room. Happy gives the signal that he’s arrived and everyone goes silent. You feel a slight sense of relief when you hear noises from the front door. If he came through his room, he probably wouldn't be that surprised.

Peter sighs and holds the bag of Thai food in one hand, opening up the door with a key in the other. His senses have been all over the place today and his heart didn’t feel like it was in the right place. He was beyond worried about you, he didn’t even care that it was his birthday. He just wanted to know if you were okay.

He opens the door, calling out for May. “May, I’m home-”

“Surprise!” Everyone appears out from their spots, greeting Peter with bright smiles and confetti.

Peter instantly jumps and places a hand over his heart. “G-Guys!? Bruce? Scott? Wait, Ned? MJ!?” he stammers, looking all over the place.

“Happy birthday, Spidey,” you come out of your hiding spot, smiling warmly at him.

“Oh my god, Y/n,” he breathes out and rushes over to you, pulling you into a hug. You let out a gasp as he picks you up and spins you around. He places you down and hugs you closer. He pulls away and glances at your dress then at you, “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he sighs, kissing your cheek.

You blush at his comment and fiddle with your dress. “Thank you,” you smile, hoping he notices your outfit.

“Wait, isn’t this the dress from our first date?” he holds some of your dress and glances at you. You grin and nod, he sighs happily and pulls you back into a hug.

Everyone reacts sweetly until Flash, who was surprisingly invited yells out, “Get a room!” Everyone instantly glares at him and he shrivels up, smiling sheepishly.

You roll your eyes and Peter ignores him, peppering your face with kisses. “I thought you were mad at me or something, or hurt, or just forgot about me,” he rambles, holding your face.

“Well, luckily none of those are the cases. I just wanted to surprise you,” you hum.

“You planned all this?” he gapes, glancing around his apartment once again.

“Yes, but I had a lot of help,” you hum.

“Friend boy!” Morgan squeals and rushes over, hugging you and Peter’s legs. “Happy birthday,” she beams.

Peter’s eyes soften and his bends down, “Thank you cutie,” he grins.

She squeals and hugs him, “Can you be my friend boy?”

You gasp dramatically, “Morgan, he’s my friend boy.”

“I don’t know babe, Morgan looks amazing in her little princess dress,” he picks up Morgan, holding her close.

You pout and cross your arms. Morgan bubbles happily and wraps her tiny arms around his neck.

To say Peter was overwhelmed with happiness was an understatement. He felt relief, appreciation, love and support. This whole time he was worrying that he had done something wrong when really nothing was wrong and everyone was just hiding and being quiet for his surprise.

After catching up with some of the Avengers and friends and eating dinner all together, it was time for cake and presents.

You couldn’t express how unbelievably happy and emotional you felt for Peter as he stood in front of his cake as everyone sang Happy Birthday to him. His face was filled with pure joy and you wish that could stay on his face forever, because to you, that’s what he deserves and more.

Not much later present time begins and Peter starts to open up everyone’s gifts. You told him to open yours last. You absolutely adored this boy and your heart swelled up every time he held a genuine smile to his face as he opened his gifts. He got up, thanked and hugged every single person who had got him a gift. You truly are smitten for him.

“Who are all these gifts from?” Peter asks, glancing at the huge piles of gifts left. “I thought I had opened everyone’s except Y/n’s already,” he chuckles.

“Those are all mine,” you walk over, sitting next to him.

“Oh, flower,” he mutters softly and pouts out his bottom lip. “You didn’t-”

“Ah, please open them and shut your mouth,” you cross your arms. Everyone laughs in amusement at your sass and watches as Peter begins to open up the gifts.

Peter first opens up the comic books and jars filled with little letters, “Oh my god, you didn’t,” he whimpers happily. “This must’ve cost a fortune,” he holds up the comic books.

“What? All I did was write on little pieces of paper and-”

“Babe.”

“I know! I’m joking, on to the next please,” you coo and kiss his cheek.

He huffs and unravels the next gift, his eyes beginning to glisten with tears. He slowly flips through the pages of the beautiful scrap book you made for him. He comes across a page where it was you, your dad and him in multiple photos. He lets tears slip form his eyes and glances at you with softened eyes, “Y/n,” he mutters.

“Larb you,” you kiss his cheek. He places the scrapbook aside and pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead.

“I larb you more,” he sighs.

“I thought that was our thing,” May pouts, causing everyone to chuckle at her comment.

“It can be our thing too,” Peter teases. “Is that all?” he sniffles, glancing back at you.

“One more thing,” you smile cheekily.

“Oh man,” he sighs, placing his forehead on your shoulder. “I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Morgan,” you look up, running your hands through Peter’s curls. She grins and grabs the last small box, bringing it to Peter.

He looks up and smiles, silently thanking her. “You want to help me open it?” he asks her. She nods and sits on his lap, helping him pull away the ribbon. As they both do so, the box falls and reveals the gift your mom once gifted your dad, then to you. Peter covers his mouth, “No, I can’t-”

“Peter,” you shake your head.

He sniffs once again, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks as he glances at the glass case with your dad’s arc reactor inside. He glances down at the words surrounding the arc reactor, “Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart,” he sobs.

You glance up seeing that your mom smiles sadly, wiping away some tears. “Happy birthday,” you repeat, kissing his cheek.

“Why are you giving this to me?” he stammers, hugging Morgan back as she hugs him close, nuzzling her head into his neck.

“Mom, Morgan and I already have many parts of dad with us. You don’t have as much and we all know how much he meant to you. You really are a part of our family too Peter, and I felt like you deserved this. Now you can see that his heart also belongs with you,” you smile warmly, cupping his cheek and wiping his tears away.

Everyone watches the heart-touching moment unravel, a sad yet understanding smile appearing on their faces. “I love you. I love all of you, and you,” he pokes Morgan’s nose, causing her to giggle.

“We love you too Peter,” everyone chimes in.

“I love you more,” you whisper, kissing his nose.

“I love you 3000,” Morgan pouts, playing with his shirt. You and Peter look at each other with sad smiles.

“I love you 3000 too.”

tagging some mutuals who might be interested! @ariistotles @cosmicholland @petersholland @tonguetiedholland @theamazingtomholland @tombrina @spideyyeet @toms-gf @peterspideysstuff @chloecreatesfictions @mcdwcman @hollandsrecs @the-salty-asian @fallinfortom @hermayone @allegra-writes @waitimcomingtoo @futuremrspcy @dreamofaprilsblog @t-lostinmendes @musicalkeys @icyhollands @beverlyparkerr @marvelhoesworld

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impassive-aggressive · 2 years

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I've been thinking about art a lot lately, or more specifically my relationship with it and my identity as an artist.

The latter is something I've actively resisted for most of my life because my art didn't feel art-y enough - I just make doodles of cartoon characters, they're nothing special, there's no profound message I'm trying to convey. It's only in the last couple of years that I've felt even a little bit comfortable in embracing the thought that I am An Artist and I create Art, even if it's silly and unpolished and, I guess, disposable.

(I *do* have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings wandering around in my head but I don't think I'm good enough at art yet to convey them meaningfully, or maybe art just isn't how I feel comfortable expressing them, I don't know. There's a lot of psychology involved in art that makes it weird and messy and complicated. Anyway.)

I went through a really rough patch wrt art around 2010-11, the details of which I don't feel like going into here, but suffice to say I couldn't find any pleasure or satisfaction or *worth* in drawing anymore. I hated everything I produced, it only made me depressed and reluctant to try anything that might improve it because I was terrified of failing. This thing that had been a constant in my life for literally as long as I could remember had more or less failed me. Drawing had always been kind of a comfort - if I couldn't do anything else right, at least I could draw - and that was gone now. Needless to say, this didn't do a lot for my already-shitty mental health.

Several things happened ~2015 that helped turn this around, namely that I started taking antidepressants and found an online social thing that I could throw myself into wholeheartedly. I felt better and actually wanted to start drawing again, and I wasn't *as* scared of fucking up as I had been, so I started really trying to improve my art and strengthen some of my weaker areas. Last year, in possibly the only good thing to have come out of 2020, I was finally in a position where I was enjoying the process of making art again. Drawing was fun, and challenging, and actually brought me pleasure instead of making me feel like a failure. I currently don't do as much of it as I'd like because my body is excruciatingly stingy with its mental/emotional energy - or maybe I don't do very much that I end up showing to other people; I draw pretty regularly during down time at work, which has been...immensely, indescribably rewarding. Art and I are on more than speaking terms, at last. We're friends again and that feels amazing after having gone so long being estranged from it.

So what's weird about art, and I don't think this is just a Me thing because I see *a lot* of other artists express similar feelings, is that it's simultaneously a source of joy and one of extreme, brutal frustration. Art feels *good* but as soon as it's finished you see a million things you could have done better. Being around other artistic people gets you fired up to want to Get Good but as soon as you try you're dismayed to discover that improvement is an agonizingly slow process - and this is something that you absolutely will """discover""" again and again, even though as an artist you are already acutely aware of how long it takes to improve at things. You simultaneously love being an artist and curse it with every fibre of your being, wondering over and over why you were born into this hellish existence of grasping for perfection that you will never attain. And you angst about it for like three seconds and then get an awesome idea for Art and go right back to drawing, because you're an idiot ARTIST.

You know that comic that's floating around about how being an artist isn't about being "good enough", it's about being too dumb to stop? It's true. I finally get that. And I think that's what makes me feel that, yes, I am in fact an artist.

My art still isn't really what I'd call "good", but I think I'm well enough at last to be kind to myself and accepting of my failings, to acknowledge that there's room to improve while I celebrate the advancements I've made. Amidst the constant drive to express myself and share with other people there also has to be room to have fun and play and do things that are just for me. I feel like the state of being an artist is a force of nature that has to be harnessed and directed; you can't really control it, because it's there and it will do its thing whether you want it to or not, but you can find ways to guide it and live with it in a healthy fashion.

...I still have a lot of thoughts on this but holy shit I've blathered on about this way too much already. derp.

#~deep thoughts~#tl;dr #i got a lotta feelings #artists amirite

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divine-motion · 4 years

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so much negative space

i have been in a real bad artblock and had so much mental exhaustion lately so i decided to do what usually helps when i’m in those Moods, which is to make silly doodle comics!! this time feat. prototype characters and anti-capitalism. since they’re my characters now they have to be anti-capitalist and i have justifications for each of them from what limited personality they’re given in-game, but that’s below Keep Reading as well as my other Thots

Dr. Bradley Ragland: his first line is “my medical opinion’s not for sale” and also he stopped working for GENTEK bc of moral reasons, despite the fact that they probably paid him A Lot. i think he deals with a lot of frustration with the situation he’s in but that’s for another post!

Dana: she’s a journalist and jumps at the opportunity to expose GENTEK for their awfulness. that’s about it. god i wish prototype characters got more Actual Dialogue they’re good in Concept. she’s just so chill with her brother murdering military (which, well, same) until he starts talking about how he eats them and gains their memories (which is fair, it does sound very crazy)

Alex: eats amoral scientists who justify their actions with “they didn’t pay me to feel” and “morality wasn’t my job”(<-- Alexander J. Mercer himself) and i imagine he’d be like “:/ i don’t like the sound of this ‘money’ thing”. also alex is quiet here because he’s in nonverbal mode. he’s autistic ok. am i projecting? absolutely.

anyways anyone else agree that instead of kidnapping Dana, the hunter just destroys Dana’s friends apartment and Dana has to relocate to Bradley’s clinic and they become a proper trio? like. you know. more character interaction. i actually have Some Thoughts on how i’d give Bradley more of an arc. also i’d make him more of an eccentric guy - i mean he did put up whole anatomical drawings of leader hunter in like less than a day and is really chill with Alex’s whole Consuming thing. Dana finds Alex attempting to consume a toaster while Bradley observes and takes notes, and when she asks what they’re doing Bradley’s like “i asked what else he can consume and he didn’t know so we’re testing a bit of everything. it’s very intriguing” Alex is ok with it bc he’s curious too and he likes to eat things (he did get very distressed that one time he couldn’t eat a thing and immediately went to Bradley to find out how to eat it)

pointless rambling done. i am tired and just typed at whatever came to mind, but i am very passionate about prototype apparently! one day i’m going to have to make a whole re-write of it, both 1 and... 2. especially 2.

#prototype #[prototype]#prototype 2009 #dana mercer #alex mercer #bradley ragland #my art #can't believe edgy kirby is how i get my serotonin now #i would love to like make more prototype doodles of my Semi Re-Write #i kinda wanna draw some Greene and maybe Cross #i just. need energy. bebression really throwing me off my groove

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citrinediamondeyes · 4 years

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A Beautiful Mess: Chapter One (My Hero Academia)

Here is my chapter story I’ve been working on! Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Izuku Midoriya finds himself in detention, of all places. There, he meets an interesting girl with a cute smile and a tough exterior. She offers to teach him how to fend for himself, and with her help, he starts to realize that maybe he isn't useless after all... [Quirkless AU]

Rating: M

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Mentioned/Implied Self-Harm, Mentioned/Implied Childhood Abuse, Severe Bullying, Childhood Trauma, Scars

Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Bakugo Katsuki, Uraraka Ochaco, Iida Tenya, Todoroki Shouto, Asui Tsuyu, Yagi Toshinori/All Might, etc.

Pairings: Izuocha (slow burn)

Links: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13594271/1/A-Beautiful-Mess https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204889

"Just in time, Midoriya," Mr. Aizawa droned, looking up from his roll call list.

Izuku, his face beet red as everyone's eyes rested on him, plunked down in the seat closest to him. Imagine being late for detention. He was already enough of a failure as it was...

"Bakugo, Katsuki."

Izuku heard a growl from the back of the room, and shivers went up his spine.

"I'll take that as a 'here'. Midoriya, Izuku."

"Here," Izuku whispered.

"Uraraka, Ochaco."

"Here."

Oh. There was a girl sitting next to Izuku! Or, well, Izuku sat next to her. Izuku peeked out from under his curly green-black hair, and he only caught a glimpse of auburn hair before his attention was brought back to the front.

"Now, I don't really care what you do for an hour. Just don't leave the room and don't disturb me."

Izuku and the rest of the students looked on in curiosity as Mr. Aizawa brought out a sleep mask and tipped his chair back, planting his crossed ankles on the desk.

Izuku blinked for a solid five seconds, trying to make sense of what he was seeing, before giving up and grabbing his homework out of his bag. Might as well get started on this mountain of homework...

He tried to focus on his Calculus - he really did, but he could feel Kacchan's eyes on him from the back of the room. To calm down, he started doodling on the side of his assignment, stark black lines against his messy scrawl. He directed his thoughts to making the lines smooth and the strokes confident, even though he himself was not. Still though, his hands were trembling, and his pencil slipped in his sweaty grip. It rolled onto the floor next to the girl's foot, and he paused for a moment, fear making his mind irrational and paralyzed. The girl - whose name was Ochaco, Izuku remembered distantly - swooped down and picked up the pencil casually, leaning over to give it to him.

"Oooh, is that All Might?" she asked in a hushed voice. Izuku flinched before nodding as his left hand went to the back of his neck nervously. He glanced at Ochaco quickly, taking her in. Her caramel brown eyes were wide with interest and framed with dark lashes, and her thin lips were pulled into a small but genuine smile. She had rosy cheeks that didn't look like makeup, and her choppy bangs suggested a self-done job. She had a small silver hoop through the left side of her nose and metal piercings going up her right ear that glinted in the sunlight from the far windows. Her leather jacket was worn through at the elbows, cuffs, and collar, and her fishnet-and-combat-boot combo made Izuku mentally flush.

Oh no. She's cute. And kind of... intimidating?

His eyes trailed down to the hand that was still offering his pencil. Her hands were small and delicate-looking, with small silvery scars running across the top. Her fingertips were scarred pink.

Izuku gulped quietly and looked back at Ochaco's face, hoping she didn't notice him blatantly staring at her. She was looking at him, too, an unrecognizable look on her face, (Did she notice the scars on his arm? She had to have noticed his bruised eye...) but it didn't make Izuku feel threatened or self-conscious like it normally would have. Instead, he felt a strange kinship to this girl with the scarred hands. He slowly reached out and tugged his pencil out of her grip, giving her a small smile.

"T-thanks."

She blinked dazedly before smiling brightly, her eyes resting on his. Izuku's stomach swooped - that grin was directed at him?

"No problem. But yeah, that drawing is really good! So you're an artist?"

"Oh, I mean, I wouldn't say that," he chuckled nervously. He remembered that she recognized his drawing, though, and latched onto that. "Y-you know who All Might is?"

"Yeah, my friends and I play his video games! They're really fun - especially the one where he goes into space?" Her eyes lit up, and Izuku found himself smiling along with her, feeling more comfortable by the second.

"Yeah, that one has great graphics. I love his teammates' powers, too! Thirteen's Black Hole is so powerful!" Izuku exclaimed, tapping his eraser on the desk mindlessly.

"Oh my gosh, Thirteen is my favorite!" she declared, still keeping her voice low while pressing her hands to her chest passionately. "I just know she would beat even All Might in a fight."

"No way," Izuku snickered quietly. "That's why he is called All Might. He is 'all mighty'."

He had no idea where this bravery was coming from to tease this enigma of a girl, but seeing the competitive spark in her eyes was worth it.

"All he does is punch stuff and tackle things with brute force. Thirteen, while a more defensive hero, takes more strategy to play. Her intelligence would beat out his brawn any day. And besides, ya can't out-punch somethin' that is pullin' ya inwards!" Ochaco finished excitedly, her tongue sticking out.

Oh gods, did an accent come out during that last bit? So cute.

Izuku's face took on a look of determination - sure, this girl might be attractive, but he had to defend his favorite hero All Might!

"See, now that's where you're wrong. All Might doesn't just 'punch stuff', he can use his moves to cause the air to move around him. This can be done in precise kicks or powerful punches. When playing him, you have to use his power in different percentages to make sure not to harm any bystanders and cause the least amount of damage to the environment. He is always calculating. Also, if you noticed, every time he goes into battle, he says his catchphrase, 'I am here!' He recognizes how important it is to be a symbol of hope for the people. I recognize this is a game and not reality, but this was done on purpose. All Might knows what he is doing. I think - "

Ochaco cut him off with laughter, and Izuku froze, feeling shame wash over him. Ah, he did it again. He got weird and did a mutter-storm. She probably thought he was a total loser. He felt his head droop, and he whispered out, "S-sorry."

Her giggles abruptly stopped, and he felt her eyes on him for a second before she leaned closer over the aisle and spoke in a low, soothing voice. "Hey, no, I'm the one who's sorry. I was just laughing because you really know your stuff, and you were talking so fast, and it just really surprised me!" She smiled sadly and looked like she was about to touch his arm but instead fiddled with her long side bangs. "It wasn't my intention to make you feel bad for liking something."

She was apologizing to him, the massive screw-up?

Embarrassingly, Izuku felt his eyes swell with tears, and he turned away, wiping them back quickly. He swiveled back to face her and gave her a wobbly smile. "T-thanks," he said gratefully, his voice quiet.

She smiled again, this time a soft one, before turning back to his math homework. "Hah, isn't this for Mr. Ecto's class?"

"Y-yeah. Probably will need to redo it now."

"I always have the worst time in that class," she grumbled, her lips going into a slight pout, and Izuku felt his cheeks getting pink.

"What's wrong? Maybe I could... help?" Izuku asked, wincing at the end. He didn't want to sound presumptuous, but math was his best subject...

She lit up again. "Really? That'd be great. I'd been going to Momo for help, but she's been nagging me lately. Something about her not wanting to condone me 'breaking rules'. She's a good pal, but it's been annoying to say the least," Ochaco blew some hair out of her face while giving Izuku a silly smile.

"B-breaking rules?" Izuku asked curiously, before realizing that might've been rude and going red.

"Yeah. I mean, how'd ya think I ended up here?" Ochaco giggled, pulling out her math homework and laying it out on her desk. She scooted her desk closer to him and pointed with her own mechanical pencil at a few circled problems.

"These are the ones that are just killing me."

"Okay, let's see what we can do," Izuku cracked his knuckles, feeling more in his element, and leaned over to start reading the problems.

The hour passed by quickly, with Izuku and Ochaco muttering and quietly discussing Calculus. As Mr. Aizawa's phone alarm went off, the two were packing away their books and discussing the current All Might and Nighteye comics.

"To be honest, I think Nighteye is going to confess his love for All Might," Ochaco confided, making Izuku choke on a laugh.

"E-EHH?"

Before Ochaco could respond, Mr. Aizawa stood up and threaded a hand through his long, dark hair, yawning. "Alright kids, good job at keeping it down and civil. Some of you, I'll see tomorrow, like usual." He looked pointedly at Ochaco, and she smirked, waving her scarred fingers.

Geez, what did she do to get so much detention?

Izuku was so focused on this exchange that he didn't notice someone coming up behind him until it was too late.

"You're in my way, nerd," Katsuki growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Ah, sorry, Kacchan," Izuku whimpered, losing all confidence and shrinking into himself as he practically scuttled out of the way of the blonde boy. He felt Ochaco's gaze on him and felt ashamed, but, well, it was better for her to see him for who he truly was before he got too attached, anyways.

"Why not just go around him?"

Izuku's eyes widened, and he glanced at Ochaco in horror.

"You got something to say?" Katsuki turned his attention to the girl, who was staring at him like he was something she stepped in with her boot.

"You heard me. There are plenty of other ways to get to the door. You actually had to go out of your way to go up the aisle to pass by his desk," Ochaco explained, all previous warmth in her voice gone.

Katsuki's left eye twitched for a second, before he rushed over to her and stood in her space, looming over her. She met his gaze fearlessly.

"I'd be careful what I'd say, Round Face."

"Oh no, I'm so scared of a stereotypical guy with anger issues," Ochaco droned, her brown gaze almost looking bored. As Katsuki seethed, she scoffed. "See, you aren't going to do anything." She looked at Izuku, her eyes softening slightly. "Let's go."

Startled that she wanted to go anywhere with him and eager to get out of the tension, he hurriedly grabbed his backpack and scrambled to get out the door.

"Wait, just a minute, Deku," Katsuki grabbed at Izuku's shoulder, his grip making Izuku wince.

"You might be able to hide behind Uraraka right now, but just know there's nothing you can do to stop me from kicking your ass the next time you are alone," Katsuki threatened, his voice low and truly angry.

"Alright, that's enough. Geez, kids these days are so dramatic," Mr. Aizawa said tiredly, pinching the area between his eyes. "Just go home, all of you, and for god's sake just leave each other alone."

Izuku wanted to scream out that it wasn't just dramatics, but pure fear kept his mouth shut as he robotically walked to the door. Katsuki grinned and ran a finger across his throat before walking in the opposite direction down the hallway. Ochaco grabbed his arm and tugged him down the hallway, releasing him after a moment. They walked in silence for a few seconds, reaching the outdoors before she cleared her throat.

"So, uh... that guy has some issues," she noted, kicking a pebble in the walkway.

Izuku could only shrug, his ears burning. At her questioning look, he looked away before explaining, "Kacchan is... complicated."

"Hah, that's a word for it..." she muttered. They let silence fill the space between them again.

"So, your name is Deku?"

"E-eh? N-no." Izuku looked at his feet, surprised he could feel even more shame than he was already feeling. "Deku is what Kacchan calls me to make fun of me. 'Defenseless Izuku.'"

"Oh," Ochaco said, and she almost sounded disappointed. "It just sounded like a nice name for you. Kind of like 'I can do it!', ya know?"

"O-oh." His face flushed pink. "D-Deku it is!"

"I can do it", huh?

"D'ya think he was really serious about beating ya up?" Ochaco's voice was light, but her face was serious.

Izuku laughed bitterly. "How do you think I got this?" He gestured at the shiner surrounding his left eye. "That's why I was in detention, after all."

Ochaco nodded grimly, saying nothing. Izuku wondered vaguely how long she was going to walk with him.

"Tell ya what. Let's make a deal. You help me with my math, and I'll teach ya how to fight!" Ochaco's hands where balled into fists, and her eyes were bright.

At this, Izuku looked up at her in shock. "EH?"

"Yeah! Come on. Notice how Katsuki didn't want to mess with me? It's because he knows I can hold my own. I'll teach you how to defend yourself, although it might not be street legal," she teased, "and you can teach me the difference between differentials and integrals!"

Izuku stared at her wordlessly. This tiny girl, who admittedly dressed like a punk rocker but was as bubbly and friendly as the day was long, knew how to fight - and in ways that weren't street legal???

She nudged him playfully with her black bookbag. The various pins on it jingled and clicked against each other. "So, whaddya say?"

He stopped walking to actually ponder her proposition. When he was honest with himself, he recognized that he couldn't live like this anymore. Dodging Katsuki day in and day out, being scared of even breathing the wrong way, lying to his mother and friends about being okay, hiding his scars underneath sweltering hoodies - it was exhausting. He didn't even know who he was anymore, besides a timid artist with a slight All Might video game obsession.

He wanted more. He now realized he might have that opportunity, or a chance at one, thanks to Ochaco's offer.

He looked up and met her slightly nervous gaze with a determined grin. "Let's do it."

#my hero academia #quirkless au #fanfic #fanfiction #mine #do not steal #writing #Midoriya Izuku #Uraraka Ochaco #Midoriya x Uraraka #read the trigger warnings first #TW: implied violence #TW: scars #TW: implied self-harm

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franeridart · 6 years

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Thank u for that sweet sweet awase content, I love that boy

Thank you for liking it!!!! :O

Anon said:Do you take constructive criticism? (Not a joke lol actually curious)

Nope. Since I don’t study art, I’m not currently actively trying to become better at it, all I do is doodle whatever silly idea I have at the moment without an actual clue of what I’m doing while at it and post it cause people seem to like it when I do, concrit is literally the last thing I need. By which I mean, I already know my art could be way better than it is, but getting better at it isn’t really the reason why I’m posting it. To be honest, if I wanted someone to crit my doodles I’d sign up for an actual class to have a real teacher tell me how to get better, I wouldn’t turn to the first random anon on tumblr with no way of proving to me they have any more clue about art than I do

Anon said:Imagine this, Kirishima with really long hair

No need to imagine it when @50shadesofhq already did such an amazing job drawing him~

Anon said:Hey!!! I want to thank you for...existing 😁 Tonight I was feeling really sad and finding your art has “brought me back to life” so as to say, so thank you. Your art is incredibly good so please keep believing in yourself and your skills, and keep making beautiful pieces like you are doing now 🤗🤗🤗

Thank you!!!! So much!!!! I’m glad my stuff could help you feel better ;^;

Anon said: hi i just wanted to let you know that you're one of my favorite artists ever and you make so much good content for so many fandoms that i love like i first found your blog through haikyuu!! and then i found the bnha and now yowapeda and everything else aaaaaa i'm rambling now but whenever i see your art it makes my day and j wanted to say that by e

!!!!!!!!!!! glad you like my stuff!!!! and mostly glad you like ywpd, that fandom feels so small honestly!! :D

Anon said:Hey I just wanted to let you know that I love all of your artworks with all of my heart and it always makes my day a bit brighter to see that you have posted something new :)

Oh man thank you so so so so so so much!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:I'm not even all that familiar w awase but I'm still blown away by your drawings of them they look !!!! So good !!!

THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!! He’ll play a nice part at some point next season, I hope you’ll end up liking him!!! ;u;

Anon said:I love seeing that kiribaku at the top of your art blog (at least on mobile??). It makes me feel so warm the moment I check your blog. (Still love the old banner too tho!!!!)

I’m glad you like it!!!!! Warm colors make me feel good so I wanted something like that on my blog :D one day I’ll change the icon too..... one day........

Anon said:I LOVE YOUR ART OK?? AND I MAY HAVE JUST SPENT TWO HOURS SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR BLOG BUT OH MY LORD IS IT WORTH IT. You are an amazing artist and I hope you have the most wonderful and brilliant of days. Ps. Thank you for giving bakubro the love he deserves PPs. Your jirou drawings make me unbelievably happy

THANK YOU!!! THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ASK I’M HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Do you still headcanon baku and Mina as dragon shifters or is it just Kiri at this point? (I still freaking love tiny dragon baku lol)

Yes and no! My fantasy drawings aren’t exactly telling a story, so I’m doing whatever with them - it’s not really headcanons, it’s just me playing around with any idea I find entertaining at the moment!! So yes, definitely, Baku and Mina as dragon shifters are still a thing I love a lot and I might draw more in the future! But that doesn’t exclude me drawing for the AU in a setting where only Kiri is a dragon either~

Anon said: Ur dragon Kiri half-shifted made me have this idea : if he n Baku r cuddling and he's like that and Baku feels an itch, he'll just rub himself against Kiri to do the scratching (Kiri isn't even bothered, nor complaining, Baku kinda looks like a cat when he does that and he's in l o v e)

You know anon, considering Kirishima’s quirk Bakugou could technically do that in the original universe too hahaha

Anon said:More band au bakushima pls!! 🙏 My crops are dying

Anon said:You better do the after show of the band AU or i will die. I mean... i already die with Bakugou say "pretty boy" to Kiri, but you know.... please do the after show asdfghj

Maybe soon!! I don’t exactly have a clear idea of how that plays out, but I enjoy drawing Bakugou like that so why!!! not!!!!

Anon said:I live for your art! Thank you for creating such amazing content ♥️

SOB thank you for liking my stuff and letting me know you do!!!!

Anon said:HOOOLLLYYYYY SHIT, THAT SKETCH OF BAKUGOU W THE HELLA EYELINER AND THE TATTOOS??? I AM SHOOK

GLAD YOU LIKED HIM!!!

Anon said:Oh mamma the way you draw Kiri’s forearms! Le swoon 😍😍😍

!!!!!! He’s a buff boy after all!! :D

Anon said:Are you okay with fans coloring your lineart, or does it bother you? (Not with the intention of posting anywhere, just for fun and maybe to submit it back to you later) I know how you feel about altering your work, but what's the drill for this specifically?

I don’t mind but you have to promise me you’re not posting them anywhere - if it’s just for your personal entertainment then it’s fine, I can’t really stop you anyway, but I really don’t want them anywhere online.

Anon said:Hello! I wanna say your bakugou and kirishima comics are adorable! I wanted to ask, do you think Bakugou would be as open with showing his soft and mushy emotions for kirishima around the others like in your comics? Like how he was okay with snugs on the couch, you don’t think he’d want to be more privet?

Sure, why not? Bakugou’s never hidden his feelings in the manga, nor has he ever felt embarrassed by them! He’s a bit awkward in showing affection I guess, but to me it feels more because he isn’t used to it than because he wants to hide it - if he were to start dating Kirishima he’d definitely have no problems with letting everyone know they’re in a relationship of that sort, I think :D well, it’s just my interpretation of it anyway haha

Anon said:Your art is just so beautiful, Im iN LOVE I CANTNWKWISIWIKW PLS KEEP DRAWING

I CAN TRY !!!!!!!! Thank you so much for the support!!!!

Anon said:Do you ever get that feeling when you have a ship and you see art for it and suddenly you get hit with a "oh fuck I really love them" cause that happens every times you post kiribaku ! I always get butterflies in my stomach when I see your art, you make the cutest scenarios and you keep their personalities right it never seems ooc. You honestly make the best comics/art I'm so glad you're in the bnha fandom

Oh my god thank you so much!!! ;A; sob

Anon said:you've heard of jiroukami but have you considered: jiroushido

Yup! I’ve also drawn them in the past!! They’re in my MinaJirou tag :D

Anon said:your band au is officially my favourite thing on this site i love it and i love you thankyou

Thank you so much holy heck!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Your art is so cute and makes me smile everytime I see it! Thank you for always making my day better!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I’m!!!!!!!!!!! Glad !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I’m so gay for your art it’s so fucking sexy dude

Oh my g od are you sure the word you meant to use is sexy I’m ??? !!!!

Anon said:Consider,,,,, bakugou with glasses

I did draw that in the past!!!

Anon said:pssst fran have u heard that in bnha light novel baku is actually scared of ghost story???

Seriously??? :O is there a translation for that part anywhere online?? :O :O

#fran answers #i just realized the answer about the concrit sounds a bit snappy #that wasn't my intention at all #all i mean is that im a fragile baby that gives herself strength to keep posting and drawing #through knowing this is a place for sketches and doodles of dubious-to-low quality #i don't really need to change that or put pressure on myself to try and be good #when i know i'm really not #the moment i'll wish to change something in my style i'll look it up and slowly work to fix whatever problem i found #meanwhile im definitely not posting to be criticized over something i never even studied seriously #so there's that #anonymous

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nyrator · 4 years

Text

Random Ny updates on Ny things

lots of photos, cosplay progress, ffxiv stuffs, life feelings and rotten nyan bleh feelings of insecurity

bought myself a new friend on a whim while shopping with friends about two weeks ago

the costume so far

still need to add fur to the bottom, but apparently I still remember how to sew by hand- need to figure out the best way to attach it, though. The collar I put on like a dress shirt kind of collar, but I don’t think I can do that for the bottom part (other than just sewing the fur backside to the shirt frontside, which almost seems too easy to be right- the cuffs I put front-to-front and folded over afterwards, giving them that flat edge on top, but not sure if I want that flat edge for the bottom...)

the tights, I made a mold of my leg out of duct tape (what a silly idea), but only had enough for one go around, so it was very flimsy after being removed. I decided the smarter method would be to fold the mold in half and cut the shape out of cardboard, which I did.

I don’t think I’ll have enough turquoise paint for the stripes, so I ordered more about a week or more ago... except it was undeliverable, because they sent it to Florida, and now they’re reshipping it, and estimated date was anywhere between the 23rd to Nov 5th, so yeahhhh. Last I checked, it got to the right place (PA), but then ended up in Delaware? so we shall see what happens

Haven’t even worked on the skates at all, which worries me, but the party is planned for Friday roughly (getting my friends together is always a thing). I notice distancing tends to be pretty lax around here, they deal with people on cash registers all day though so they’re used to being exposed and I don’t need to protect my mother anymore so hm (should get a blue mask and put some graffiti on it, though)

Tomorrow sounds like it’ll be friend-crunch-day, helping another friend with their costume and such as I try to fix mine. Haven’t worked on mine in a few days because dealing with blehs, but should get back to work on it (only a few days left...)

ALSO MY BOY IS REPAIRED

they sent that shoulder piece fast, like super fast- It was here by the 21st, mann- this is the piece they sent, arm and everything

First I thought, okay, just remove the jacket and put it on the other one- but then I realize, oh, wait, no that won’t work, it won’t stick, and this new jacket is glued on. I thought to super glue it on, but trying to remove it started to tear the peg, so I decided, okay yeah no leave it alone and figure out how to remove his torso

so I removed his torso, which took a bit of force, but now he’s back together and much looser but looking good, godd

also I turned 29 on the 11th, a pretty uneventful day all things considered. Friends came over the other day to deliver gifts (though one forgot his, twice, somehow), the other was a purple DDLC girl plush and pin because she’s purple (I should probably play that game to completion), the photo I have would dox me though and too lazy to get another photo at the moment

Otherwise playing a looot of FFXIV recently, beat the main story (first one at least), got the DLC and doing the Red Mage things (as a former fencer I am down though critical of my lalafell’s footwork), slowly trying to make glamours for every class, and the latest mission thing I’ve done was fighting Moogles to knock-off This Is Halloween, what a great fight (somehow managed to get like 8 unique moggle weapons and it makes me happy they exist), mainly a BLM/WHM/RDM/Weaver though Ninja was also fun (white mage is scary but Kresna is very good at doing crazy pulls when he’s the tank and I somehow help people survive by the skin of our teeth)

the crew (myself, Kresna aka Kure, my friends Spired aka Yomi, and James aka Sebastian, who only plays FFXIV in order to play mahjong with us), we all really enjoy mahjong now if you couldn’t tell (also Kresna’s character is great and now he’s making a Rivers Cuomo lalafell and we’re all going to be bards in a Weezer cover band, also shout outs to how cute Yomi is and the magnificent pompadour and sideburns Sebastian has)

But now to the less nice things

So, hmm. Still dealing with depression, a lot of it caused by interpersonal relationships, I suppose- My flaws and anxiety-induced communication issues make it really hard for people to feel like I care or am interested in them, I think. Seeing how I hurt people, and being powerless to help people on the verge of collapse or even suicide, it eats away at me. I can’t just leave them to their depression, and I want to stay connected and I genuinely value them in my life, but it’s taken such a toll on my own mental health and I absolutely cannot leave them alone, either- the type who can and would genuinely go through with taking their own life if left with absolutely nothing. I’m not sure what to do to help them or myself, but it’s hard just watching and being the only one who can listen.

Finally drew a Rotten Nyan picture today, but not that happy with. My feelings keep swaying between good and bad, and I think I’ll add more bad in a follow up doodle as well.

I worry I speak my mind too much- to other people, with these tumblr rants, with my tweets, I feel like I talk an unnecessary amount, mostly about myself, but never about what’s important to other people. I feel I make other people feel less appreciated by how little I talk to them or about them in comparison.

I feel like what I want to make makes me a creep, and that the people I consider friends, or at least close followers, would slowly vanish on me if I keep making it. Or I risk getting labelled as something, or being mocked for my creations. It’s a weird paranoia.

I’ve had some good talks with some friends this week that helped me feel more productive, watched some artist stream and forced myself to join another discord for that artist to try to interact with other artists, as well as trying to force myself to communicate and compliment their art as much as I reasonably can. It’s hard, very hard for me, but I need to treat people better and gain more connections.

But these things have been lightening my mood a bit, and trying to inspire me to draw more. But the uncertainty still lingers- Middle Lave for example, all I think of anymore is being mean to them, or remembering the bad or the humiliating instead of making more cute things. Any time I think of any scene, it just gets twisted. I can’t think of any good scenarios, either. Thinking of all the situations that make MLave cut themselves, or cry, or how frequently MLave had restroom issues (I could write pages and pages on that nonsense alone at the risk of it becoming some fetish work or something, I already feel like I’ve written too much about it), nonsense like that. Which, is it fine to just write about that anyway? I don’t know. I’m told there’s an audience for anything, and if people want to read it, they will, and if they don’t they don’t have to, but I’m still scared of pushing away an already existing audience- Followers are one thing, I don’t expect people to keep following something they don’t enjoy, but I guess just people I’m closer to, followers who take the time to interact with me frequently, I worry what they think of me and losing them (though I don’t want to be clingy or guilt-trip anyone either).

I also think of some of the word choice I’d use- it’d be accurate and authentic, but I worry with how people will take it (for example: Lave’s nickname growing up was “retard” or “r-tard” by their sister, and “faggot” by their father, and I know that kind of language is frowned upon even more so these days, but it’d be a disservice not to include it I’d think)

I have a separate twitter for Rotten Nyan though, I just haven’t used it, so maybe when I finally update the comic I can just keep all the twisted stuff locked away on it and the tumblr accounts.

There are lots of weird things I worry about, since on the topic- I feel like I’m just very naive. I see a lot of people enjoy “bullying” my character Dolly, and at times I wonder if I should encourage it, or speak against it, or what. I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, and it makes me wonder if I’m a creep for enjoying tormenting Lave, enjoying portraying self-harmful or humiliating or self-deprecating scenes and wanting to talk about them or draw them, it feels wrong. I think of Suicide Boy, where I feel it takes it a bit too overboard, but I wonder if I’m any better.

Other things I see, say, pacifiers for example, I see them a lot in my pinterest feeds and some artists I follow. First I worry they’re some kind of kink I don’t know about, and if I had them to my character it’ll sully my art somehow unexpectedly, but then I see Animal Crossing add them, so there must be some fashion trend or something to it, maybe? I probably wouldn’t actually draw art of one honestly, but it’s a weird trend I don’t understand I guess, and I wonder if I’m weird for thinking it looks cute sometimes and weird at others.

I guess overall, in short, I’m just afraid of making something that drives people away from me, or being known for something I don’t want to be known for, or something. At the same time, I feel like worrying about it and talking about it so much also makes me a creep, somehow.

Anyway, if you couldn’t tell I’m just rambling at this point, but I should change subjects.

I did lose 10 lbs / 4.5 kg since I officially started my diet two months ago, which is nice. I still am too embarrassed to say what my weight actually is (gained a little bit of weight during quarantine), but I’ve basically lost what I gained this year and am almost halfway to a healthy BMI. Afterwards, I see no reason to change my diet (other than maybe how little energy I feel eating less than 1500 calories a day), so I’ll see how far the diet takes me before it plateaus. If I can be a bodyweight to cosplay Kuja by the time I’m 30, that’ll be ideal (of course, I’d still need to put in effort to get rid of a belly and eat healthier foods, but yeah). Still surviving mainly on 100% whole wheat bread, skippy peanut butter, and kraft mac and cheese / spaghetti with meatless sauce, but in measured portions at least with three meals a day.

Also, mann, between depression and FFXIV, I’ve really been neglecting ACNH- still try to play it every day, but usually only late at night when everything’s closed, so missing out on a lot of Halloween stuff I feel.

#text stuffs #nyrants #ny does cosplay stuffs #nyrator plays games and stuff #camera stuffs

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paganinpurple · 7 years

Text

Flirting For The Entitled - Ch 2

I really do have NO CHILL. I couldn’t stop thinking about this silly little Christmas time prompt and what might have happened next. I am not actively working on this, but I’ll write little snippets as ideas come to me.

I’m thinking less a coherent plot and more slices of life. They may get posted out of chronological order if I think of something but I’ll try to re-label the chapters chronologically if that happens.

Ideas or prompts for this would always be welcome!

Read on other websites

Buy Me A Coffee?

<<Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch3> (who knows when? If ever)

Back To School

Nathaniel abruptly slammed his sketchbook shut with a loud groan, his head falling forward and eyes shutting.

He just couldn't draw.

This had never happened to him. He'd had art blocks before obviously, but usually he would just change the drawing or doodle silly little pieces instead of anything important until it passed. He tended to get over it quickly enough that it was never an issue. But since the party a couple of weeks ago, sketching had gotten harder and harder to concentrate on and now even the most childish scribblings doodled in the margins of his notebook were—at best—abstract nonsense.

He kept his eyes closed, hugging the sketchpad to his lap tightly as the cool January air chilled him and he began to rock back and forth lightly to the music coming from his earbuds in an attempt to warm up.

He'd tried yet again to fit in a quick sketch, this time before the first day of school after New Year and so he'd arrived an extra ten minutes before he normally would have. Finding an empty bench had proved easier this way and he'd decided to just let his hand lead him across the paper in a sort of instinctual trust exercise. He'd thought the generic face he created had been a somewhat positive step away from his art block and had happily continued to draw without thinking, adding a few wisps of hair across the brow before adding a ponytail to make it a girl of some sort. The head had looked too bare so he had added a simple Alice band, detailing it more heavily when it appeared too subtle. Before he'd realised the head piece had turned into a pair of shades and he'd changed the mouth to show off a slight smirk.

That was when he'd slammed the book shut. Because while the picture wasn't yet Chloé, it was definitely on its way to becoming her and he couldn't deny it no matter how hard he tried.

Despite what she seemed to want he didn't like her that way so Nathaniel wasn't worried that her face might keep cropping up in his drawings because of some kind of hidden crush on her. But he had to admit that the shock of what she'd confessed to him at his party had sunken into his bones now and he couldn't avoid the weight of the knowledge on him every day. His mind kept drifting back to thoughts of her regularly as he tried to puzzle out if there was a moment he could pin down when she started liking him.

He'd cast his mind back constantly, first to the days preceding her little confession, then the weeks leading up to it and he'd discovered that she had indeed been really nice to him - in her own way, of course. Though he was seriously struggling to find anything that gave a sharp contrast between the then and now. Her behaviour seemed to have gradually morphed from mean to cheeky to coquettish in such a smooth transition that he was now pressed to find much difference between her insults and her teases other than her tone. For instance, she had regularly given him nicknames, most notably calling him Red but also throwing in any reference to the colour of his hair she could (Solo cup, Tomato, Stop sign, Clifford, the list went on). He had never really liked them but they hadn't been as bad as some of her past behaviour so he had built up a tolerance to them, assuming they were just low-grade insults. But lately they had seemed much more affectionate ways of getting his attention instead.

But what had messed him up the most, he decided, was the realisation that she had been flirting with him the whole time. A smirky smile here, a light brush against his arm there. The compliments he'd mistaken for insults were delivered just a bit too coyly to be anything as simple as praise for his drawing ability or interest in how well he was pulling off his outfit.

He groaned again as hindsight made him realise that one had been a particularly obvious innuendo which he'd completely missed at the time and his face burned in embarrassment at the memory of her little eyebrow raise when he'd failed to react.

He jumped suddenly when he felt a tap on his shoulder and he looked up to see the girl herself, standing in front of him in her warm winter coat and – he gulped – smiling sweetly at him. He quickly removed one of his earbuds to hear her.

“God, just how loud do you have that stuff Netflix?” she asked once she could see he was free to listen, “I must have said your name three times before I gave in and shook you.”

“Uh huh,” he said, an eyebrow raising sceptically, “How did you know I wasn't just tuning out those dumb nicknames and holding out till you used my actual name?”

“Oh please,” she said waving a gloved hand dismissively, “I have to use them all till I find my favourite. Although I think 'Red' is winning to be honest.”

She sat down beside him and before he automatically moved his leg away from her, Nathaniel reminded his self-preservation instincts strongly that he had promised to give her a chance at being his friend. He was not going to shrink away in fear of her saying something hurtful when she seemed to be trying so hard.

“So, what are you listening to anyway?” she asked tapping at the lose earbud which now dangled limply from the other, blaring away into the crisp air.

“Oh,” he said as he picked up the wire to ease the extra weight on his other ear, “It's a prog-rock band. I like a lot of their stuff but it's, uh a bit weird if you're not used to it.” Hesitantly, he offered her the other earbud. “Wanna see what you think?” he asked.

Chloé's eyes and smile widened and he swore the blue of her irises brightened as she looked at him. She gently took the offered wire from him, her clothed fingers brushing his bare ones as she did. She blushed heavily but didn't shy away like some girls might have and Nath suddenly felt his insides squirm uncomfortably.

He forced himself to refocus as he watched her reaction to the music playing in her ear. He couldn't hold back the snicker that escaped as she frowned and turned back towards him with a confused pout.

“What the hell?” she asked, puzzled, “What language is this? It's not French and I grew up around Daddy using English often enough to know it's not that either.”

“It's a language the band made up just for their music,” he told her, “Told you Magma are a bit strange.”

His laughter halted as her face turned suddenly devious and she leaned in towards him till he found himself leaning back in order to keep a comfortable amount of personal space between them.

“Magma?” she asked slyly, relenting in her invasion of his personal bubble and sitting upright again slowly as she watched him right himself as well.

“Uh, yeah?” he asked, brushing his hair out of his face in a nervous gesture to distract himself from how close she had gotten.

“As in red and hot? With a fiery interior hidden under a shy mountain?” she asked almost too innocently, the corner of her mouth tilted up to belay that she knew exactly what she was implying.

“Uh, um...” he said eloquently.

“I think I've found a new niiiiicknaaaame,” she sing-songed, her head bopping left and right.

“So, Lava boy, let me hear your favourite track before class starts already.”

Nathaniel fumbled for the controls on his phone while simultaneously fighting down the flush of pink dusting across his cheeks and darkening with every second. He had just started the song he liked best when Chloé rested her head against his shoulder to listen. He jumped a little and his phone flew out of his hand. He grappled with it comically for a second as he desperately tried to get a good hold of it before it finally hit the courtyard floor, pulling the buds from their ears as it went.

He groaned as Chloé moved to let him pick it up, eyeing the nasty crack in the screen as he did so. He ran his finger across the raised line and wondered if it would affect the functions or just be an eyesore for the next year until his parents let him have a new model.

“That was my fault, wasn't it?” she asked with a tremor to her voice.

“Nah,” he said, “you didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry about it.”

“But, I... surprised you,” she said, sounding guilty, “If you're free after school I'll take you to the person daddy has fix my phone when I drop it. They can usually fix a small crack like that in a couple of hours and I'll pay for it since it was my fault? I'll even buy you a coffee to make up for it?”

“Um, okay. Thanks,” he said blinking back at her genuine look of remorse.

“Great!” she squealed as her face broke out in a victorious smirk. She jumped up from the bench and moved backwards a few steps away from him as he watched with bewilderment. Her sudden movement and squeal had attracted a few onlookers from the courtyard and his eyes flickered around to make brief contact with some of his classmates. Amongst the small crowd he spotted Ivan, Mylène and Juleka who all regarded Chloé with barely hidden suspicion and Adrien and Nino who simply looked confused. He glanced back up at Chloé as her gaze completed the same circuit of people watching them before she narrowed her eyes seductively at him and winked.

“Then it's a date!” she announced loudly before turning on her heel and heading for the stairs to head to class.

There was a moment of complete, utter silence as everyone processed the blonde's words before turning in unison to stare at the red-headed, red-faced boy sitting wide-eyed and stunned on the bench before them.

So... Chloé had just sort-of asked him on a date. And he had unknowingly agreed. Which was sort-of terrifying, but not in the way he expected it to be. Which in of itself was vaguely terrifying too. And on top of that, she'd made sure everyone had known about it. Chloé Bourgeois wasn't trying to hide the fact that she liked him.

“Come on,” a gruff voice said.

Nath felt a hand rest on his shoulder and looked up with dazed eyes at Ivan.

“What?”

“It's time for class,” the larger boy told him, “You can freak out after roll call when no one can see you behind me. But right now, you're going to be late.”

“Right...” he said, still not in full control of his mental facilities but allowing his friend to guide him towards the stairs and the classroom.

Now if he could just make it past Chloé's desk without collapsing he could at least tally up one win for the morning.

Buy Me A Coffee?

Thomas Astruc has pointed out that the emblem on Nath’s t-shirt is based on the band Magma’s symbol so I glanced at their Wikipedia page and discovered they have their own language for their music. I thought it appropriate that Nathaniel like their music.

#PIP writes #Flirting For The Entitled #ChloeNath #ml fanfic #please send me slice of life ideas #I love doing them

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dreadlock-detective · 7 years

Text

PREPARE FOR THE ASK ANSWER OMNIBUS!

I'm clearing out my ask box, so here's a rapid fire bunch of answers to the 43 questions in there! A lot of these I wanted to draw a comic or do a little animation for but just never got the time or energy, and others I didn't know what to say, but I think that some response is better than no response, so while these are all going to be either text or doodles, I wanted them all to actually get answers.

Below the cut because this’ll be a hella long one~ Plenty of Zelda doodles in there though so if you just wanna see doofy drawings click too!

@definitely-darcy - Ahhh I'm sorry I wanted to make an animated gif of this for a long time now and just never got around to it T_T. But thank you for the kind words!

@hfbdhhjsbnjdknfsjkbnfkjbgsm… I feel like this is some kind of internet talk that I totally missed the memo on

@sgo-j - Buliara definitely needs some art! She'll actually show up in my AU comic if I get far enough… probably another 3 sets of pages away or more at this point though.

@jackiithedevil - !!!!!!!! <3

@sparkybananaboi - no wolf Link but it’s somethin ;D

@scythfi-writer - Ahhhhh pressure! Eheheh, but glad I could entertain! Hope I haven’t disappointed so far ;D

@draceempressa - …wait there's a sidequest about that!? I saw the sign on the cliff but never saw a sidequest about it lol. Dangit even though I got this ask a while ago I forgot all about it lol. WHELP something else to do when I get back into the game for the DLC!

@rabbitmagic - Even a messenger of the heavens needs a hobby, right? :D

@nathanswallofopinion - They only think that because they haven't been seduced by his amazing puns yet~

Bucket has since died~ using my Windows PC now. Which drives me insane, but at least it's way more powerful than my old iMac. (Still hate Windows though - it's user interface is just so horribly inefficient…)

We're all wonderful band of seally fools here! Glad to have ya!

Teba's been in my AU comic stuff so far, and his family will probably show up in the next set if I get around to it. Unfortunately his personality doesn't lend itself too well to my stupid jokes so he's only been in my more serious stuff so far~

@verlinktbeichris

@sparkybananaboi

Is this still a problem? I haven’t got a way to check lol. I need to update it anyway to be more informative so I guess I’ll check it out then!

JUST AS SOON AS I CAN GET THE WORLD DOMINATION APP TO INSTALL ON THIS DANG THING!

I have no idea what you're talking about, Anon~ Just a bunch of potassium lovers here that's all~!

@redventure - That's Bob~ he's super supportive~ Kind of an enabler really…

@angeliquenoir1912

Ahhh!! thanks!!

Hm. Uh. Not that I've seen, but I'm not exactly diving into their collection~...

Once while he was relaxing out of uniform he ran into a nervous Shiekah girl. They got into a pretty heated argument over who’s face tattoo was upside down. Does that count?

I think this was before my Mipha comic, so at least I’ve drawn her a bit more, but yeah no Link x Mipha stuff directly yet~ I might get around to it! No silly ideas are coming to me to doodle out right now though, sorry!

OH MY GOD BE PREPARED IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER AND AFTER READING THIS I WANTED TO DO A WHOLE ANIMATIC OF GANNY DOING THE SONG BUT THAT WAS EXACTLY WHEN MY COMPUTER DIED AND I LOST ALL MOTIVATION T_T

But I needed to at least do my favorite bit

Fun Fact: apparently the Hyrule Warriors website lists Dragmire as his last name again. Not that that game is canon but still. But yeah high five for old school Zelda lore!

*cries because I don’t have photoshop on my PC to edit Kamina’s shades onto loads of Sidon screenshots for this reply*

@purrple--kat - Well I sure have done a lot of art of them from commissions now haven't I? lol. I think they're a cute couple~ From my own relationship I can say that having the same sense of humor is vital for me, and those two are definitely on the same level!

*strikes a Kamina pose with Kamina shades to make other Anon happy too~*

@asfcruppy + @talk-shit-you-get-hit - I have a little comic half drawn for this but it's on my Surface instead of my PC.. need to get that moved over to finish it up~!

…why did I never think to do this? Of all the dumb things I've done, this was not one of them! I am ashamed!

YA HA HAA! YOU FOUND ME!... what you were looking for an answer from someone?

All 900 Koroks end up in group therapy because they get so confused by Mr. Hero’s behavior they legit cannot deal and are tired of him handing them self help books~

Bonus: They don’t have a digestive system, so logically you can just feed them the same apple over and over! (Need to go make another stal-horse friend sometime~)

@fluxed-touko - Ssshhhhh! Spoilers maybe ;)

@kirchuuuu (this one wont tag for some reason?)- I did one drawing of her being a bit older, but still wasn't an adult~ I like to imagine she'd actually still be super short though, mostly because it keeps her distinct from the others (speaking of, what the heck happens to Gerudo when they're older? the old gerudo are all so much shorter! And then there's the Twinrova witches from Ocarina… Gerudo spines must be all sorts of weird, start tiny, get huge, shrink down super small….)

@capnbanana - Usually 8.5x11 (standard US letter size), 300dpi. 350dpi for commissions, and commissions and comics are more likely to end up a different size (though never smaller for commissions)

Considering the lack of any sort of reference to a Gerudo king in BotW, I personally feel like the Gerudo abandoned that tradition after Ganny went evil. Not against him being actually Gerudo though!

@legoofallthemes22505 (this one wont take either...)- SOON!

@jcummins151 - Ahh thanks <3 I'm glad random strangers on the internet are enjoying my silly stuff! And I don't really mind that people want me to draw NSFW stuff - it's kind of flattering to know people find my art good enough to.. uh… wanna.. *cough* *Mighty Banana jokes*

Ahahahaha, I love that this was the next one to come in after that last one! Nothing in the works but maybe some day :P

@bearlycute - He’d freaking LOVE it if they’d be content to just watch or snuggle...

HOLY CRUD THAT’S ALL OF THEM! GEEZUM!

Thank you to everyone! Love hearing from ya’ll, and sorry if it takes me forever to reply to asks sometimes! Can’t guarantee I always will but I’ll always try to and DEFINITELY read every one! Love ya!

#ask omnibus #Legend of Zelda #LoZ #Link #Korok #Riju #Urbosa #Yunobo #Yiga #Dave #Bob #PUNS #Breath of the Wild #BotW #Dreadlock Detective

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notjustagirltattoopodcast · 4 years

Text

Not Just A Girl: Sex and Sneaky Feminism

You can listen to the sixth episode with Onnie O'Leary here. Or you can find this interview on YouTube with English subtitles/closed captions here, there is no footage for this episode so you'll find a slideshow of Onnie's work instead.

NOT JUST A GIRL: Tattoo Podcast

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Season 1, Episode 6: Sex and Sneaky Feminism

Eddy: Hello friends. Welcome to Not Just A Girl, your favorite feminist tattoo podcast. I'm Eddy and I'm back to share with you the experiences and wisdom of tattoo artists I admire. On the sixth episode, we will be chatting about visual communication, pornographic tattoos, and body positivity.

Before we begin, I would like to acknowledge the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people who are the traditional custodians of this land that was stolen and never ceded. I am honored and grateful to be on the ancestral land of the Awabakal people. And I pay my respects to the Elders past and present. And extend my recognition to their descendants.

I'm super excited this morning to be joined by the fabulous Onnie O'Leary, Onnie works at TLD tattoo in Sydney and their bright and graphic designs inspired by erotic comics are instantly recognizable the world over. I'm actually very lucky to have not one but two tattoos by Onnie and they are definitely some of my favorites in my collection. Thank you so much for taking the time to chat to me today. I've been really looking forward to hearing your stories and about what you've been up to.

Onnie: Oh, thank you. Um, that makes me, makes me feel really bad now. Cause I don't have any tattoos from you yet, even though we've worked together so many times and hung out at conventions and stuff. I'm really sorry, I saw Greg's tattoo. That came up the other day. That was, I think four years ago now.

Eddy: Was it really?

Onnie: It must be. Yeah. Cause that was, he was here for my 30th birthday and I just turned 34. So

Eddy: Oh my god. For our listeners, Greg is taco monster on Instagram and he's so amazing. And you need to check him out.

Onnie: He's really great. Um, he might be a really good person to speak to because he has experience in both tattooing, but also in the medical side of

Eddy: [00:02:17] Yes.

Onnie: Um, what's happening. So he's right in the middle of that at the moment.

Eddy: That's perfect.

Onnie: Yeah. And he's, he's a great person to speak to generally, I'm lucky to have quite a few tattoos from him too. Um, But yeah, actually, so sadly I guess, because Greg has been so busy during this whole pandemic, um, I haven't been speaking to him as much as I would normally. And, um, I guess I've been really lucky to be talking to a whole bunch of artists, mainly in the US some of my friends are over in Europe, so I've been hearing from them a lot. And, uh, but especially sort of in the US and Canada, Um, and speaking to different people from around the country, sort of other tattooers.

Eddy: That must be really helping you get through this whole lockdown situation.

Onnie: Yeah, it is. It is. It's really nice to, um, I guess be able to communicate with people who are in the same situation, even so far away.

And it's definitely unique in that um, it's so universal. I mean, it's people everywhere in the same situation, whether you're in Australia or in the US or anywhere, we're all just kind of staying inside and working on our own things and all, not tattooing at the same time, and as much as I do miss tattooing. And I'm really, really looking forward to getting back to the shop and seeing the guys again, um, I'm also so relieved to actually have a break and not struggle through the FOMO because everyone else is on a break too. And that does, I guess, that like still brings its own set of sort of comparisons and anxieties because everyone sort of seems like has picked up a project for the quarantine period. And so everyone's doing their own amazing things at home. Even if they're not tattooing, you can never really fully get away from it. I think

Eddy: No, creatives are a whole different breed of people and I don't think we ever really stop. Like, it could be something as simple as doodling on a piece of scrap paper or doing a full blown, um, I dunno, art show or whatever, but yeah, there's always something.

Onnie: Starting a whole new podcast.

Eddy: That was, that was silly.

Onnie: I don't know. I don't think it was silly at all. I think um ambitious, certainly, uh, to try your hand at something totally new, but this is such a good time to do it. And I think when you're really driven by wanting to produce something in response to what's happening. There's a real immediacy to, to it that helps you like learn new skills really quickly. Cause you're like, Okay. I just have to get this thing out there and get it done.

Eddy: That's it. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm learning on the job, but it's awesome. And the bonus is I get to talk to so many amazing people like you

Onnie: Right? Well, it's just, I guess, in a sense of just sort of a vehicle in that way for you to be able to have these kinds of conversations uh, with people and I've been, I've been thinking a lot in lockdown about the purpose of art in my life and what I don't want to get to morbid, but I'm in like, what do I want out of life? Like, what do I want at the end of this, where's my career going to go after here what's going to happen. And I think that's also a product of speaking to a lot of tattoos who are at different stages of their career, um, and who were sort of opening up their tattooing practice to sort of other art avenues

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: As well.

Eddy: Well, it's a smart thing to do moving forward.

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Um, and especially when you sort of realize that, uh, it is possible for tattooing to essentially go down overnight.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: Um, and of course, you know, it's never going to stop completely, but suddenly this sort of very regular and reliable stream of income, uh, has been cut off and yeah. As an artist, you can't I don't think you can stop practicing art. Everything that you do is art. Whether it's making a sandwich or a painting or doing your laundry

Eddy: Taking a selfie

Onnie: Taking a selfie yes. It's all about, um, the way that you do things and the attention and care that you've put into doing them. Yeah. So thats, uh, I I've been trying to, uh, try and really focus on that.

Eddy: Yeah. I think it's like really natural for an artist as well to consider what their work means as as their message for what they leave behind in their life. Like, you know, a lot of people don't get the opportunity to actually make an imprint on the world the way that artists do. Like we have the opportunity to create a visual language. If visual arts is our thing and then communicate our ideas and beliefs to the world. And I know that that's important to you.

Onnie: Yeah, very much so. And I was saying that the older and older, I get the harder and harder ease to try and like, I guess, disguise, um, my own sort of personal beliefs and what what I do want to project, it's almost like impossible to try and sever that for some sort of alternative purpose. Um, so I definitely, I mean, the more that I practice, the more sort of, uh, I guess specialization I'd like to have in my work in terms of being able to sort of control the um, the content of what I'm doing and being able to sort of dictate a lot of the content of the tattoos. Um, I think just because these are going to be the projects, these are going to be the only projects I feel like I'll be able to work on really honestly and passionately.

Eddy: Yeah, absolutely.

Onnie: And exactly what that looks like at this point. I'm not sure I'm, uh, I'm one of those tattooers who spent a really long time at art school. And I, there's a, there's a sense there that you sort of have to come up with a concept initially, and then you mold the work to facilitate that concept. And that's something that I've found really difficult. And I really struggled with for a long time, because often I feel like once the concept is formed, the art is kind of superfluous anyway.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: So I've been trying to, I guess, sort of let emotion or just interest I think when I feel passionately interested in something to let that guide the work in a way, I want it to be a lot more fun then trying to wrangle that visual language into a poem. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that can be sort of easily and clearly read by anyone as much as I want people to be able to read and understand my work. Umm. I kind of have to step back and have a little bit less control over exactly what it says and how it says just to let it come out.

Eddy: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I I've. I found like I didn't approach tattooing with like, an idea of what I wanted to do. I just kind of like learnt the techniques. And then from there was like, who am I? Where do I go from here? What do I like? And then it's just been this like ongoing journey of like discovering what I like and then learning to apply apply that to my tattoo. It's so interesting how we all have such a different journey of finding our way to authenticity in our work and to finding our own like visual language that feels comfortable.

Onnie: Yeah. And it's often such a surprise. That's been one of the things that's been really beneficial to having all of these discussions with different artists is often they will see things in your work that are there, that you have no idea. Um, And one of, one of my friends said to me, he's like, Oh Onnie, it's all about control. It's just all about control with you. I was like, Oh my God, I feel like this is maybe the linchpin of like my whole practice is this sense of control. Um, in terms of, uh, power exchanges. I mean, all of the kind of bondage girls that I do that sort of very literal. But I think even at the time, a lot of, uh, a lot of the time they were metaphors, I guess, for things that I was struggling with in my life, but there's still a very strong sense of trying to explore control and retain it, even in my own role as an artist, even in the greatest sense of being a tattooer where you sort of welcome someone into your studio and you have this like enclosed environment where you have a certain role to play, they give up a certain amount of control to you. There's a huge amount of trust there because you're going to physically hurt people. And. Um, I'm kind of like, Oh my God, this, maybe this is just what attracted me to tattooing in the first place.

Eddy:] Yeah.

Onnie: So I'm really, I'm really learning a lot, not just about, um, my art, but I think that about me as well.

Eddy: Yeah. Thats one of the things that that I find. So, um, enticing about your work, that the characters you depict have power. They have so much power, especially these women. I see so many erotic art subjects kind of, uh, giving up their power. Like they look sad or they look hurt, but yours are like I'm loving this. It's so good. And you know, you just, you just get this real sense of strength in them and you know, so, you know, you can tell that that's what, where you're coming from and that's what you're searching for.

Onnie: Good. I'm really, I'm really glad that, um, you, you said that that's a hundred percent how I want the work to be read. And its been a long process of, um, I'm really glad that you were talking about visual languages because that's what it is. There's certain things that you can do within your art or how you depict someone or how you draw something, whether it's the angles that your, um, the audience is looking from. And that's something I really consider the colors that you use. Uh, the, the techniques, the way that you paint or draw something, they all contribute to how the audience reads an artwork. And, uh, it's often through, it's been through some really challenging conversations in the past, um, that I've come to terms with those, because I think as much as I want to make artwork of like sexy, big booby girls, there's already so much of that.

And what, what am I saying that's different? Or like, why, why do I want to make this kind of work? You know, when I'm not seeing it in the world, what is it that, what is it that I'm not seeing in other drawings of sexy, big booby girls? And what can I contribute to that conversation? How am I going to change things? Um, And actually one of my, um, someone on Instagram, I put up a questionnaire this morning, asking people what they wanted to hear me talk about. And one of the questions was about my influences. So one of the biggest influences that I had in my work is Heavy Metal magazine. And

Eddy: I can tell when I see that

Onnie: I'll send you some photos of like my favorite covers and stuff so you can get it. Um, when, when I was about 17, I was drawing, it was the first time I'd ever, um, sort of drawn a porno comic. So as my friend, who was the writer, gave me a couple of magazines, give me a copy of hustler and, uh, like four copies of heavy metal. And I kind of flipped through hustler and was like, yup, cool, whatever sort of vagina. And when I got to heavy metal, I was so entranced. This was the first time I'd seen women of like vastly different body shapes, body types, skin colors, some of them were aliens. And this is definitely something that I'm trying to bring into. Um, the comics that I'm working on with Tom at the moment, but that was such an eyeopening thing for me. And really, I sort of decided there. And then when I was 17, I was like, I want to make sexy drawings of women that make them feel good about their own bodies. It was the first time that I'd sort of seen this kind of exuberant sexuality, uh, these different body types and that kind of right I guess, to enjoy sex that if someone makes a picture of it and they're like, this is what I think is sexy and you look at it and go, that's like me I could be sexy too.

Eddy: Yeah, absolutely. The diversity and the sex positivity in your work is what makes it stand out above everyone else doing erotic tattooing in my opinion, like it's just, when I look at, you know, the girls that have a little, they have a little pot belly, or they'll have a hip dip, that one boobs a bit saggier than the other. And it's like, I see that in the mirror and that's so sexy that image you've done and yeah, I can relate.

Onnie: Totally. And it's, you know, everyone's worthy of like praise and admiration and like lust and that's it. And especially growing up, I felt like I only saw a really narrow um, sort of ideal for what could be sexually attractive.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: So I'm definitely pleased to see that, like, especially in tattooing, I feel like, um, erotic tattoos have really taken off. Um, yeah, since I started, there were two tattoos that I knew of when I started one was Dusty Neal who works at, uh, Black Anvil in, uh, Fort Wayne in the US and the other is Herman Canela, who is from Buenos Aires. And I'll send you some of their work as well, and I've never been tattooed by Dusty. It's one of my great regrets so far, I'd love to go and meet him and get tattooed by him because he was so kind of generous with his time and his knowledge and, uh, even just his attention. I think he started following me when I was an apprentice, and I shat myself. I was so excited, this is amazing. I'm like heres a guy who's doing bondage tattoos, like not just a little bit cute and sexy pinups, which is sort of where I initially saw my work sort of slotting in.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: Tattooing I'm like these were full on erotic tattoos. And I was like, well, if that guy can do it, so can I.

Eddy: Its so good. And there's definitely such an important place for that in tattooing. Cause I mean, I'm, I'm guilty as well of being another one of those tattooers who does the pinup girl that's just like that prescribed version of normal. That's like skinny, white, Caucasian looking features, just like just so boring and lacking diversity. And it's just something you do without even thinking about it. Like, it's just like, that's, what's done. That's how it's always done. That's how you do it. But you've challenged that.

Onnie: Well. Yeah. And that tattooing tattooing is so much about iconography. Um, you're representing vast concepts for people in, by necessity, very simple imagery. You know, if you, you know, a tattoo of a pinup girl, it doesn't represent, this is the girl that the tattoo is off. That's a tattoo of love or longing or lust or desire or femininity or appreciation. And if you get a tattoo of a ship, you know, that means travel and journeys and. Um, so all of these concepts get distilled into very, very, very simple imagery. And, um, I mean, even with the work that you do, which no one would ever describe as like simple, even if you think about the concepts that you're doing, you know, uh, it's, it's sort of birds and flowers and these for the person who's getting them I imagine that the meaning is much more complex than I like birds and flowers.

Eddy: Yeah, absolutely.

Onnie: So actually doing. Doing the comic book. I should introduce the comic book a little bit more, but doing this comic book has been amazing because suddenly where I had to try and condense all of this stuff about women's power and sexual pleasure and enjoyment and diversity. Uh, now I have actual space for a narrative.

Eddy: Amazing.

Onnie: And that's so, uh, so daunting and so freeing, because it's really the opposite of what, of what I've been doing as a tattooist for years and years.

Eddy: Well.

Onnie: So that's, that's been really positive.

Eddy: Talking about the comic. How did it get started? And please tell the listeners all about that because it's so amazing.

Onnie: Okay. So, so the comic, we started a little company called One Handed Comix and that's me and Ugly Tom who's a, uh, an amazing tattooer, uh, over in Charlotte, in North Carolina. And we started chatting. Sam Rulz showed me his work, I think about two years ago now and was like, You'd love this guy's work. He's really great. He free hands, literally every tattoo, every tattoo, and as well as doing his own like massive projects, uh, tattoo projects that he's working on body suits and things like that. He's also a walk in tattooer occasionally. So if you want like a freehanded Polynesian half sleeve. Or, you know, some like drama masks doesn't matter. He will just draw that straight on you and then tattoo it.

Eddy: The confidence

Onnie: He's obviously like a very, very hardworking and inspiring, uh, tattooer, and so I've been following him for a while and we would chat here and there I'm pretty chatty online. Um, and especially when I really admire someone's work, so we sort of chatted a little bit back and forth. He said, he was like, Oh, this dude's pretty friendly. And then I heard he was on another podcast and I heard him speaking it was about an exhibition that he was having that was supposed to happen this month, um, that is ofcourse not going on at the moment. So we started talking about the themes that he brought up in the podcast, which were about religion and spirituality. And I had like a ton of stuff to say about all of this and sent him a message and then was like, hang on this isn't enough just started leaving him huge voice messages about it. And he wrote back and I guess, I think this was maybe a week or two before we went into lockdown here in New South Wales. And so it'd be about two and a half months ago, I think is the end of March two and a half months now. So, uh, no a month.

Eddy: I can't believe

Onnie: I'm so confused

Eddy: Yeah I don't know. Time, wibbly wobbly timey wimey.

Onnie: It's a loose concept at this point, a while ago. It feels simultaneously very quick and a million years ago. Uh, and so we were chatting away about that. He had a bunch of stuff to say in response to it, and then I had more opinions about it. He had more opinions about that and we were chatting away. And we were like, Hey, maybe we should just do a split sheet you know, we'll do like a little bit of, um, flash each and see how that goes. And then that very quickly turned into, we should make a comic together. And it should be a porno comic.

Eddy: Perfect.

Onnie: Perfect, and that was it. Like, and now, um, you, but tattooing was kind of tough. I mean, it's such a great job, but it can be kind of tough, man that comic book. So it's been it's yeah I guess it's been about a month and a half or nearly two months. We are almost ready to send this 16 page comic book to the printer. Almost.

Eddy: There's a lot of work in that.

Onnie: There's a huge amount of work. Um, but it's been such a joy to work so collaboratively with someone because it really is a truly collaborative effort where we sort of workshop the story together. Then we kind of talk about a layout. We'll do a rough, a very rough layout where we, you know, with stick figures, this panel should be from this angle and this panel should be from that angle. And the big explosion should happen on the bottom half of this page. And we'll sort of show each other ideas. Talk about them, talk about what we like. What we don't like then, uh, he, Tom has been doing the inks. And so I mentioned that he freehands, everything. Um, he's almost totally analog. So all of his contribution to the comic book is physically inking the sheets and then scanning them and then sending them to me.

Eddy: Wow.

Onnie: And then I work digitally over the top of them. Um, so we sort of go back and forth. So I will take his large layout. Digitally pencil um, all of the girls and the parts of the page that I'm drawing, send that back to him. He grids it up by hand to transfer all of my pencils onto the final page. All of his parts scans, those sends them to me. I then redrop my pencils in there, ink those over the top. And then I do a rough and then we talk about the colors and then I do the final version.

Eddy: Wow. That's amazing though, to be able to collaborate, like on such an equal level with another artist, I feel like the communication involved in that would be really difficult, but it sounds like it's working.

Onnie: It is yeah, it is working and I definitely don't think that it would be possible with just anyone. Um, I really, uh, I think we've definitely grown to be really close friends over the process and part of that's because there have been some really difficult discussions and I don't think I realized at the beginning how, um, Uh, I guess like how important these kind of discussions would be in terms of dictating the content of the comic and how much it's forced me to take a lot of ideas that I have in my own work about representing women and sex and forced me to examine them, pull them apart, and then be able to explain them back to someone.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: And especially, uh, someone who, you know, who lives on the other side of the world, who's a different gender to me, has very different like, uh, romantic experiences. Um, and it's been, it's been really, really great to, uh, I guess, speak so openly and honestly, about what started off as like a kind of fun sexy art project, but it's actually pooled up and forced me to really analyze my own beliefs and motivations about this kind of stuff.

Eddy: That's soo amazing.

Onnie: Yeah.

Eddy: That's what arts for.

Onnie: Exactly. Exactly. I think without that sort of mirror into, um, into the world, sometimes you just don't recognize yourself or your own ideas. So.

Eddy: And the fact that you've had to explore what you believe and why you believe that, and then figure out how to express that that expression is going to be so much more authentic and so much clearer and have such a bigger impact on your audience.

Onnie: I hope so. And as much as I don't think that I would label this a feminist comic. Um, it's not that, not that it's not feminist, it's unashamedly feminist just by virtue of what it is, but I also just want to say that there's like a lot of really messy sex in there. And, um, it's. Deeply pornographic. Uh, the comics are called One Handed Comix because the idea is that you have to, you can read them one handed. I'm pretty sure everyone's been masturbating a lot in captivity. And so the whole idea of this comic kind of came out of like trying to meet a need for people.

Eddy: Yes, adult toy companies are doing so well right now.

Onnie: I'll bet they are. If anyone wants to send me a vibrator, I'll happily accept them, um, at the shop, just look up the TLD shop address, and then send through whatever you've got.

Eddy: Onnie can sponno those, uh, friggin sex toys.

Onnie: Yeah. I'll I'll, I'll get you to put the address up at the end so that peple know where to send them.

Eddy: Get you some of those crazy alien ones to go with those alien babes you draw.

Onnie: Oh my God. The alien egg ones. I want that. It's so intensely weird. I really love that. I really don't mean weird in the negative sense. Um, But like, I have a deep interest in those like alien egg. Like I think it's called, like, Ovipositor I may be wrong, I read that, that vice article, like five times and every time I'm like, Oh my God.

Eddy: Every time I see a picture it takes me a moment to like, Oh, Oh yes. That's what it is, huh.

Onnie: Just imagine like sort of wobbling around the house, like just laying alien eggs for my flatmate to find.

Eddy: Amazing. And that's what I'm excited about with your, with your comic, the fact that it's, it's going to be so much more interesting and kink friendly and women friendly and trans friendly and like all of these like different people who aren't represented in mainstream pornography. Like they get to have a place now.

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah. And that's, that's really important. I mean, like I said, like the first issue is only 12 pages long, so, um, and we've got a couple of extra, we've got like one little extra story and a couple of like fun sort of cute fake ads that we made to go in it. So, um, I don't, I don't want to run the risk of disappointing people by talking about like the incredible diversity in it. When the initial story that we've got is pretty, uh, I mean, it has a limited number of characters. So that also means that there's kind of a limited number of, um, things that we can touch on really.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: But that is very much the plan in terms of making more. And we've sort of god, I don't want to jinx it, but like we've we talked about making more of them and that's, that's something that we'd both really like to do. And we're going to try and get as much done while we're in isolation. And then afterwards, I think we're gonna try and work out a way to balance tattooing and making comics because it's something we both really want to continue. Um, But I mean, having it be kind of set in space and giving, giving us that gives us the option of like non human aliens, who can be any gender, any race, um, they can exist in sort of any sort of form that you as the author illustrator want them to take. And I really liked that because I love the idea of being able to present something that might seem different and unusual. Uh, here on earth, but in this comic you can have, um, well, this is just the like polyamory planet and everyone lives like this and it's super normal and everyone's really happy.

And we talked a little bit about the Netflix show Hollywood I think that was very, very much a fantasy rewriting of history. And there's something sort of joyful and positive about that where you can say, look, this is the, this is the future that we, or the past that the sort of dimension that we want to imagine things have happed in. And then from that you can kind of go, well, maybe this is possible.

Eddy: Yeah. That's, what's so good about SciFi it gives you the space of endless possibilities and to just imagine this really optimistic, wonderful world that you can enjoy.

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah. And especially in terms of, um, sort of different forms of activism. I do want to talk about that as well, because I don't necessarily think that the solution to achieving equality is just to kind of whitewash everything and say, well, let's just imagine if everything was wonderful right now. Um, and, but that, that is part of it. And at this point in time, uh, like I was saying, that's, I'm really following my interests and, and this is something that I really want to make, I want to provide kind of a bit of escapism for people, um, and yeah. Make people hopeful and, and feel better about the situation that we're all in at the moment.

Eddy: I'm sure people are going to absolutely love it.

Onnie: I really, I really hope so. I really, really hope so. Um, Yeah. I hope people like it as much as I am enjoying drawing it and

Eddy: I love that you're enjoying drawing it. That makes it even better.

Onnie: It's so much fun. I'm going to confess something here. Uh, a lot of people have been asking if drawing a porno comic makes you horny. And look, the company line on this sorry Tom the company line on this is that actually, you know? Sure. Maybe, but we're really focusing on things aside from just the content, like the composition and all of this. So look, it's not like some kind of total fuckfest, but also honestly it does make you kind of horny.

Eddy: No harm in that.

Onnie: It's really hard not to draw porn all day and think about exactly what it is that would turn someone on about a particular scene without getting a little bit turned on. I only hope that that is passed onto the reader of this and that everyone gets at least a little bit turned on from reading it.

Eddy: I think so. I think with your tattoos and your art, like you can definitely see the joy you've had in creating it and that that's a hundred percent passed on to the viewer and that's why people get your tattoos. So that's going to happen with the comic too.

Onnie: Um, I also feel like the comics really pushed my artwork dramatically. I've been forced to go back and study a lot of anatomy. Um, a lot of movement, uh, talking about communicating a narrative, just in images. And I'm going back to a lot of my roots and like rereading a lot of my old heavy metal magazines to get inspiration and to help decide, you know, how we want the comic to look and to feel and what we need to do to do that.

So I'm so excited to get back to tattooing and just feel like I've leveled up all of these skills. Um, You know, even, even more in this time. So I'm, I'm keen to like, yeah. Apply that to tattooing again and pushing, or I guess having an implied narrative in my work is really important because I want part of what excites that audience so much is to imagine who these characters are, what they're doing, what's happening, what they're about to encounter. Um, and so, yeah, I mean, for the comic there's, I mean, there's a direct narrative there, but you also don't show every single thing in a story. And so you have to, the viewer has to get from one panel to the next and understand what's happening. And that is really something that I want to push with tattooing. I'd really like to move beyond the simplistic iconography of what tattoos are, even though I love that so much about tattoos. I think what I want from my work is to be able to communicate more with an image.

Eddy: Yeah. I can see that happening because your work is so dynamic. There is a lot of like room for storytelling in that.

Onnie: Cool. I'm so glad. I mean, your boxer girl, like.

Eddy: I love her

Onnie: She's a good example

Eddy: Onnie did, for our listeners Onnie did this amazing, like strong, muscular, angry boxer woman on me with like skin tears around it. It's so good.

Onnie: She's like fighting out of, out of your leg. Um, but you know, she's really like, she's kind of like a little bit like rough. It's obviously not the, uh, not the beginning of the fight, but it's not the end either. So I want you to think about like, Who is she? Why is she fighting so hard? Is she gonna win? Maybe, maybe not.

Eddy: Damn right she's gonna win. It might get a bit, a bit like difficult there towards the end, but she'll come out triumphant. I can guarantee.

Onnie: Spit out the tooth

Eddy: Spit the blood on the canvas.

Onnie: And that's I mean, that's kind of the artwork that grabs me the most is when I continue to like turn it over in my head after I've seen it and try and try and pull it apart and try and figure out what's what's happening. So

Eddy: I think, Oh, what about other guests? Brody, who I spoke to the other day. You did a lovely tattoo on them of a special moment.

Onnie: Yeah. Um, Oh, that was, that was so nice. It was really lovely to have Brody in the shop and, um, uh, yeah. Get to know them and get to do a really fun tattoo. And I think does Brody work with Sera Helen?

Eddy: Yes.

Onnie: Yeah, at Crucible. Yeah. Uh, she's also amazing I'm wearing her today.

Eddy: I noticed that. Yeah, Sera's incredible.

Onnie: The girl with all the tribal tattoos, riding the dragon tat gun. It's amazing.

Eddy: So much talent in that studio and in the one you work in as well.

Onnie: Oh, yeah, the boys are fantastic. It's really, it's been really, really good. And it's nice to work in a studio where the, I guess the art style is say same, same, but different. Um, I always like to think that my work is pretty firmly rooted in traditional tattooing in that I'm trying to make, uh, you know, bright, solid colors, clean black lines. Um, I want them to age well. But I'm just putting them together in a slightly different way than Trad Trad.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: But I've learned so much in the last couple of years that I've, I've worked there. They're all really amazing tattooers.

Eddy: And they all have that same kind of thing. The really bright, bold colors, crisp black lines it's just so powerful as a tattoo and it will age so well, that kind of work.

Onnie: Well, that's it. Yeah, I'm really proud. I think I've gotten tattooed by everyone at the shop now, at least, at least once. And they all look amazing. Um, and yeah, it's really nice. They get a lot of, a lot of compliments on, um, on those sets that the guys did. Yeah, I do miss them.

Eddy: It's so hard being away from the colleagues. Cause I think we spend more time with them than we do in our own homes. And then suddenly you're not seeing them every day and it's just like, Oh, I wonder, I wonder what they're doing right now.

Onnie: Do they still think of me?

Eddy: We have a little group chat where it's like, there's a lot of memes and a lot of little, I miss you gifs and just like love hearts and rainbows to each other.

Onnie: I have to say at the beginning of, uh, isolation, the memes were fire.

Eddy: Oh my God

Onnie: People, there were so many good ones. Things have seriously declined since then, my favorite meme group on Facebook have descended into jorts and Shrek memes, and they have a boomer Thursday now and like I could take just boomer Thursday was just, people would just post terrible boomer memes, you know, where it's like, the punchline is always like I hate my wife. And I can try to take that. Like I kind of, I enjoy the irony of it that you can't have like three ironic meme days out of a week when we're all home all the time. I'm like you can make a jorts thread, you can make a Shrek thread. I don't want to see that all, like I intensely disliked jorts now.

Eddy: I have to admit I'm not yet as developed in my understanding and taste of memes. I mostly just stick to the Elle Woods Legally Blondes memes.

Onnie: Well, that's fine. You've got Brooke and Siarn there and they're on fire.

Eddy: Brooke is the meme queen.

Onnie: Yes, Yes. Oh my God.

Eddy: Um for our listeners Brooke is a one of the amazing artists I work with and I don't think anyone has ever been better at sharing memes than, than Brooke, or even in her drunken state, creating them.

Onnie: Does she have her own meme page yet?

Eddy: Not yet, but I have been begging her to do a meme page and a YouTube channel. You should see some of the videos she's left on my phone when we've partied.

Onnie: I know.

Eddy: I'll send them to you.

Onnie: I would follow the YouTube channel Brooke at the Hamo

Eddy: Right.

Onnie: We'll just call it The smoking section,

Eddy: Havin a fuckin duzza at the Hamo.

Onnie: I know next time, the next time I come up, I really want to come and party with you guys. And you should come out too, um, but yeah mainly

Eddy: We, last time we worked out, we can do it at my house when Amy was here. We just like had a fashion show and went through my

Onnie: I saw the fashion show

Eddy: My costume box and it was lit.

Onnie: Oh man. Yeah. That'd be great to have a fashion show again. I mean, I've been buying a ton of clothes from like my tattooer mates and that's, that's been awesome. Um, but mainly I just live in my like yoga pants these days.

Eddy: I can't wait till we're all back at New Zealand, um, Tattoo and Art Convention, and your booth, where you and Sam are always on fire and bring the fashion. I remember your Christmas theme booth last year. Sam's always just glitter and rainbows.

Onnie: I just want to say for anyone out there that is thinking about doing a Christmas theme booth, don't do it. People don't like it.

Eddy: I loved it

Onnie: I was so excited to do this Christmas booth. I thought people were going to be really into it. I'm like who doesn't love Christmas. It's the happiest time of the year. People don't like Christmas. They don't want Christmas tattoos not an convention anyway. Um, the only way that I could get people into it was to like tie my shirt up.

Eddy: It became smutty Christmas,

Onnie:] It was smutty Christmas. I mean, it was already smutty Christmas, All the Christmas designs with smutty Christmas designs, but

Eddy: I wear the hell out of your smarty Christmas shirt. That's like, it's like a weekly, like thing that I wear that shirt as soon as it comes out of the wash it's back on again.

Onnie: Amazing. I'm so happy about that. I still have, I still have quite a few like big sizes in that, because I think the last shirt I did was black and it's like, I sold out of XLs straight away. So I got a bunch of XLs made up in this one, but are ran out of smalls first up, I think. Yeah, that was all the girls wanted a pink shirt with the bondage babe on it just sitting on top of this guy

Eddy: Was so good.

Onnie: Yeah. But I am, I am really, really looking forward to that. I hope that's going ahead in November. Um, but if not, you know, the years just go faster and faster now. So yeah.

Eddy: Yeah they do, I can't believe it's May already we'll be back to tattooing in no time. I'm sure.

Onnie: I thought you were going to say November.

Eddy: Please no. How, like, how do you reckon this current situation is going to affect tattooing? Like, or how we experience art even?

Onnie: Um, I I'm really hoping that it reminds people just how important art is in these times, um, in whatever capacity, whether you're talking about a tattooing or theater, film, or movies, I've been listening to so much music, uh, and really. I guess really kind of examining all of this, this stuff that I'm looking at, whether it's the books I'm reading or the TV shows that I'm not watching while I draw, or the artwork that I'm making, um, and how that has the capacity to make you feel less alone and less isolated in your, in your circumstances. Um, so I hope that that gives people a sense of like greater importance or that there's greater importance placed on, um, on the arts at the same time I think things are going to be really different. I mean, here in Australia, we, uh, I think the majority of tattooers are eligible for some form of welfare welfare generally. Um, Job Keeper.

Eddy: Yeah. If they're residents. Yeah.

Onnie: If they're residents, um, but uh, over in the US that's not the case, they don't have the same. They don't have any welfare for tattooers.

Eddy: It's so ridiculous.

Onnie: It's ridiculous. Well, because it's also illegal for them to open up. And so people are fighting for the right to reopen their studios, um, which is dangerous still dangerous.

Eddy: Yeah. It's difficult because you

Onnie: Cause I'm a big expert.

Eddy: Yeah. Well, that's it like what, none of us are really experts, but like, you know, from what we're told, it's it's dangerous. But then at the same time, of course, they're going to fight. They're terrified. They're not going to pay their rent or eat or look after their families. It must be so scary. And artists just, I mean, imagine being an isolation without art. We just couldn't do it.

Onnie: Well that's just, that's just solitary confinement.

Eddy: Exactly. Like we need to respect artists and look after them.

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, expecting, I mean, cutting off people's livelihood, but expecting them to still maintain all of their outgoings, um, is ridiculous and impossible. So yeah. Um, I'm very, I'm very worried for my friends over there. Um, I don't, uh, I don't really have a clear idea yet of what that's going to mean for tattooing, whether that means you have, uh, artists moving out of tattooing into a more secure job. Um, I think the situation would be similar to Australia where there's not even if you move out of the job that you've got now, which job are you going to move into?

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: So I guess I'm sort of withholding, um, my opinion until I know more or I can actually make any kind of informed guess.

Eddy: Yeah, it could go back to the way it was, you know, in the early days in Western tattooing where, you know, it was a tattoo shop and a barber shop and, you know, multiple other kind of trades all in one little, little house.

Onnie: Well, that's it. I don't know if you've been to Sleeve Masters here in Sydney.

Eddy: No I haven't.

Onnie: It's still, it's the same venue that it's been, and it's this tiny, tiny, narrow shop. And you come in and there's a counter. And then there's the tattoo studio. And that the artists chair, and then there's like a little room behind that I think with like a sink, but the toilet's not even in the shop.

Eddy: Wow.

Onnie: Um, so, you know, it's very, very old school and, uh, and really, really tiny. And I do kind of love that atmosphere. Um, it's very different to sort of the big, calm, open spaces of a lot of studios nowadays, but yeah. Uh, it's, it's definitely a fun spot to get tattooed in. So I wouldn't be mad if we had more kind of like just figure it out as you go along tattoo shops, you know as long as everyone's clean, then it's fine.

Eddy: Yeah. There's a space like I think, you know, there's a risk that we'll lose walk-in shops, but I think if people are creative, we can have like lots of different ways of going about tattooing that's still safe. And I guess like, Legal so that we can operate without getting fined, but you know, like we can get creative with it.

Onnie: There's like so much money lying around now

Eddy: Yeah. Anyway, um, I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier about. Um, the discussions you have regarding feminism or, you know, different opinions and theories and how to mitigate them. Cause I know that that's something that you talk about a fair bit and that we were talking about before this interview, um, like what, what, what is, what is your approach?

Onnie: Um, I guess in in these kinds of discussions. I think it's really important to God is there's a couple of things. Um, these are often really hard discussions to have, and I like to choose my words really carefully. Um, you know, because it's, I think it's easy for meaning to be misconstrued. So, Ummm. I think that listening is of course really important. I think that the majority of times, if you're discussing, I think that the pros for feminism and the cons for feminism, when you have two different people coming at it from opposing sides, I think often they want the same solution. But have very different ideas about either what feminism is or means um, and don't fully understand it. And I think the opposite can also happen, um, where you can assume someone's intentions or, and, uh, and both it's very easy, I guess, to misconstrue what the other person's saying, or to really stick to your assumptions about what they're saying. And the most successful discussions I've had have, I guess also taught me something about, about the other person, about the way that the other person thinks, um, about their sort of fears or apprehensions.

And when you can get to the root of those emotions, that's when you have an opportunity to I guess change someone's mind or actually make them receptive to hearing your experience. Yeah. Um, and again, look like, like I said earlier, this having these kinds of discussions is a lot of work. You know, it really does require effort not to let your emotions overpower you when you feel really passionate about something. And that's absolutely something that I I struggle with, and Greg will tell you, we've had some discussions about feminism where we've just been like, look, we just agreeing to disagree here. And he fucking loves, he loves to wind me up.

Eddy: But that's how we, that's how we learn to like the, the discussion back and forth. Like, you know, I wasn't always a feminist. I didn't always have the knowledge I have now, but it's through understanding that it was the fear that's like been bred into me by society of all of these changes and all these like dynamics. I don't understand. And then once you start to understand those and understand how they affect our behavior and our language and everything like that, then you can start making those changes, but you have to be able to have a conversation and be challenged but listen.

Onnie: Yes. Yeah, that's so important. And I think everyone grows up like that. You, you grow up, uh, trying to understand the status quo and how to fit into that. I mean, that's what being a person is about. And I think that. Uh, fitting in with other people is something that's really hardwired in us. Um, and so if you live in a patriarchal society, which we do, um, those are going to be seen as the ideas that are normal and acceptable and right. And it's yeah. It's like you say, until you realize that maybe your own experience or the experiences of others or the things that you see in the world, uh, don't add up. Then that's when you begin to question and challenge that, um, but people can spend a lot of their time, uh, often their whole life trying to fit in. And so when you challenge that, that, that becomes a very personal confrontation.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: Um, Just because they've invested so much in maybe suppressing these things in themselves that you're embracing and saying, Hey, we don't have to put up with that. That's not actually right. And let's do something about it.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: And you feel like you've been fighting in the wrong direction, your whole life. Like, Oh my God. I thought if I just conformed that I would be happy. And now you're saying I have to rail against conformity in order to be happy.

Eddy: Yeah. It's hard how are we? We just want to be normal, but then being normal is actually quite toxic because who does, who prescribes normal anyway, and it's just.

Onnie: That's it. And there is no normal there's no,

Eddy: No, there shouldn't be.

Onnie: I've never met a normal person in my whole life. Even the most normal people that you meet might have some giant Koi tattoo on their back that you don't know about. And tattoos are definitely not normal.

Eddy: No, no. Anyone with a tattoo is a freak.

Onnie: Absolutely. I think we can all agree on that. Especially porno tattoos.

Eddy: Yeah. If you've got a fucking like shunga tattoo then nah, you don't belong. Nope. Sorry guys.

Onnie: Actually, someone, someone did say like what one of the Instagram questions was. Um, if you've had any negative reactions to your work as, as an erotic tattooer, um, And sometimes yes, people have those kinds of reactions. My favorite thing, this comes up all the time at conventions, like some people will wander off that, look at the really filthy stuff, then I'll be like, why would anyone even get this? People get tattoos of things that they like and some people like blowjobs.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: Um, you know, there's sort of an idea of if you're going to get tattooed, there's a certain set of things or parameters that you can, you can acceptably get tattooed sometimes, you know, people say, well, it has to be really meaningful. Has to be something you would never change your mind about.

Eddy: The thing I hate when they're like, Oh, it's something that, you know, you won't be ashamed of on your wedding day. Like what. Who give a fuck. Put a fucking dick on my forearm for my wedding day please.

Onnie: Done. I'll see you after quarantine. Are you going to renew your vows with like a nice big, like forehead dick.

Eddy: Like, um, that the woman in that old tattoo book that got around about a decade ago where she's got like all of these dicks across her chest and butt, and there's like the cockroaches and everything.

Onnie: Is it the Dave Lum Yeah. The Dave Lum necklace,

Eddy: I think so.

Onnie: The dick necklace.

Eddy: Yeah.

Onnie: For anyone, for anyone wondering, uh, what I look like. Um, me and that lady are fairly physically similar. I do not have a Nicholas, a dick necklace.

Eddy: Not yet anyway.

Onnie: A dick nicklas. But I wish I did. Um, I deeply regret never getting tattooed by Dave Lum. And I've been really lucky when I'm in the States to see a bunch of his tattoos in the flesh. Sadly, never the dick necklace one day.

Eddy: One day.

Onnie: Yeah. So it's actually, it's funny that you bring that up. Cause of course I said, you know, there were so few people getting pornographic tattoos before, before me and, and sort of these other artists I mentioned, um, which is of course, uh, just proved not true at all. People have always been amazing filthy perverts who love sex.

Eddy: Oh Yeah. Absolutely.

Onnie: And if you look back through newspaper records, you can find an article from almost every decade from the 1910s until today saying how tattooing is not underground anymore. Now it's becoming mainstream and it's not just for sailors of criminals. Every 10 years they bring this article out. It just makes me laugh because of course, I guess it's always been a little bit mainstream and a little bit subversive. And when, and it's, it's such a personal art form, so you don't have the same kind of control, let's say, um, is evident in, uh, like fine art, but you have gallery owners and curators and they, they can very specifically control who they, they think should be popular and, and whose work is going to be um, expensive, um, tattooing, you know, you're always dealing with sort of one on one clients. So while there is like a very, in, in all facets of society, very strong ideas about what is normal and acceptable. Uh, you get to meet some amazing people who have fantastic ideas outside of that, about, um, you know, what they like, what they want to decorate their body with. Um, and it's been such a privilege to. Have so many great clients. Who've shared so much with me about their, you know, their sexual experiences, um, their orientations. I am constantly surprised by how normal people look and the wild ass stories that they tell me.

Eddy: That's like, that's, that's one of the best parts of it. Like the stories you hear. In this journey while you're traveling, tattooing and like the shit you see in the stuf you hear.

Onnie: It's wild. Yeah. And I'm really, that's something that I miss so much right now is traveling and I can't wait to get overseas again, really, really excited about getting to do more traveling. And

Eddy: You've always been a big traveler hey?

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah. And my, um, you know, my mum has always been a big traveler as well. And, uh, you know, she's from Canada. So she moved over to Australia and then never left. So, I mean, I haven't, I just keep coming back to Australia. Like, I don't know. Maybe I should find some other country to live in for awhile.

Eddy: You'll come back.

Onnie: Yeah. I mean, I do love it here. I probably will always come back and we are very, very fortunate here as much as I rail against the government. Um, and send them a lot of, I've been sending Scott Morrison memes every time I see a real sassy one, I just email it to him. And even though, uh, I don't think he personally is receiving them. I'm hoping that I'm like slowly converting his staff.

Eddy: Yeah. They're probably all just being like, Oh wait, he is a joke. No, my favorite ones are all the Scotty no, from Austin Powers.

Onnie: Oh, my God. I haven't seen any of those.

Eddy: Ok, I will send them to you. Yes.

Onnie: We'll put them up on the screen.

Eddy: Yeah. It's yeah, we, we have like a lot of other patriarchal colonial countries. We have absolute bullshit dick wads in charge, but you know, Maybe we can burn them down and start a new one day.

Onnie: I'm going to continue to accept the welfare money that I contributed an enormous amount of tax towards.

Eddy: Damn right.

Onnie: And yeah.

Eddy: I paid tax. I'm taking that welfare.

Onnie: Exactly. That's exactly it. It's just funny that I gave you guys recently anyway.

Eddy: And I want everyone else taking that welfare too. Even if they didn't pay tax because you deserve it cause you're a human.

Onnie: Well, exactly. That's, you know, we live in a society, right?

Eddy: We've got to abide by their silly laws. They should fucking pay us.

Onnie: Totally totally well that's, I mean, it's, you know, it's a cycle it's, um, it has to be a cycle. So yeah, I mean, I hope, I hope people are doing really well. And I just wish so deeply that, um, everyone had the same kind of luxuries that we do at the moment. Um, yeah, so, and in the meantime, hopefully a nice comic book will help people.

Eddy: Definitely.

Onnie: Even if it's just some form of escapism for a short time.

Eddy: I think that's, yeah. It's, it's those little, those little moments where we can escape that will get people through it. For sure.

Onnie: Yeah. Yeah. And it's important. It's important to have a rest from the crushing existential horror

Eddy: Stop start worrying about when you can go back to tattooing and have a wank.

Onnie: That's it. That's it.

Eddy: Well.

Onnie: Um, Yeah, I was going to say, I think I have to head off.

Eddy: That's all right. Is there anything you wanted to mention before we finish up?

Onnie: I think I've pretty much covered everything. Uh, I'll give you the TLD address and, uh, send you through a bunch of cool memes um, for you and everyone else to laugh at.

Eddy: Well I'll post, for our listeners, I'll post a bunch of pictures and links, um, for the things that we've discussed, um, in our blog. Um, I'll also put links in the show notes and, um, yeah, you'll be able to listen to the episode on Spotify and iTunes and a few other channels. Um, Yeah, make sure you subscribe follow and share and help spread the love of tattooing. Um, thank you so much Onnie for sharing your story and to all our listeners for tuning in. We really appreciate it. I hope you all have a brilliant day and remember to love the heck out of yourself.

Onnie: Yeah, awesome, all right. So nice talking to you.

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franeridart · 7 years

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Can we also talk about how Bakugou went from "weird haired guy" to "Kirishima. Change of plans". Oh man I didn't realize how much I missed the anime *cries*

BOI CAN’T WE I just spent the whole morning crying over seeing the moment Bakugou recognizes Kirishima as an equal animated nbd at all r i p me - I think this might be the first time Bakugou calls anyone by their name, actually, and I just!!! that’s because Bakugou heard Kirishima’s words and recognized him as a good partner and a worthy hero and someone whom he could respect and I’m gonna be grateful for chapter 133 for the insight on this for the rest of my always I !!!!!! have feelings g a h

Anon said:ok ok ok ok but but listen what about BAKGOU AND OCHAKO they are the most popular couple and the most cutest , i think you should try to draw them once i would love love to see this !!! of course just if you want hehe thanx

Ahhh sorry anon but I really don’t ship that - I mean, it’s true that I ship Bakugou with a bunch of people aside from my main two, but if they’re part of Deku’s group you can fairly assume they’re not between my Bakugou ships? And I only romantically ship Uraraka with Deku, Tsuyu and Iida anyway so! You’re probably not gonna see any romantic baku/ocha from me, sorry o

Anon said:Since we know what Bakugou’s parents are like, what do you think Kirishima’s parents are like?

I have a similar ask somewhere asking about Kaminari’s parents as well, so I guess I’ll answer both here?? As a general rule I don’t really like making headcanons over stuff I’m sure the manga will give me in the future, so I can’t say I’ve thought about this too much - there are a few things I work under the assumption of while drawing, like for example I’m taking for granted they both have at least functional families, considering Aizawa personally visited their homes to ask their guardians about allowing them back to school, and if anything had been weird he would have noticed

I like to think Kaminari got his quirk straight from one of his two parents with no mixing happening, and got the Kaminari surname from them as well, but that’s all I ever allowed myself to settle on as far as Kami’s family goes, everything else changes based on what I need for the current scenario I’m thinking about… I do often end back on him being an only child, though - in the same way depending on how angst or lighthearted I want it to be my ideas for Kirishima’s family change a lot, but generally I think I mostly fall back on the idea of him having a big family? In a scenario like that his parents are kind and love him a lot, but having many children and needing to split their attention on all of them might cause them to overlook him a little (it would explain his obsession with being flashy, for me) then again, who knows? I don’t know how canon you can consider the infos SMASH gives, but in one of the strips Kiri mentions working part-time, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to have problems with money kinda makes me believe he might be independent from his family like that (unless he’s a rich kid, also very entertaining as a possiblity)

I’ve seen a lot of headcanons floating around about both of these guys’ families and possibly being related to villains, that would be cool too, though I’m not sure how much I believe it

I’m sorry this ended up being little to no useful at all lol as I said, I just shift between scenarios a lot - imagine settling on one and growing attached and then having to let it go once Hori proves it wrong, that’d be terrible for me

Anon said:Oh my god…we had a black cat called nitro !! He was super affectionate and high strung. Thanks for reminding me of him. great art as always !!!

You’re!!! the second person telling me they have/had a cat called that!!!! °O° is it a popular name for cats? I just called her that for Baku’s quirk tbh hahaha

Anon said:I would L.O.V.E to do a BNHA art collab with you my lord!

BOI THAT’S FLATTERING!!!!!! I’ve never done collabs before though, so I dunno if I’m comfortable with this? I’ll !!! have to think about it!

Anon said:Not only is your art adorable but how much you babble on in the tags is absolutely precious, you’re like a sunshine who always brightens up the day just by being yourself!

Way to make me blush anon oh my g o d!!!!!! I’m??? glad I can make you smile with my incoherent blabbering??? It’s super nice to know because tbh I just have way too much to say about everything hahaha (read: I dunno how to shut up. ever. rip)

Anon said:I just wanted to say your asks posts and doodles and literally just your whole blog in general brightens up my day so much no matter how sucky it’s been. I had a rough day today but the first thing I saw when I got on tumblr was one of your bakugou drawings and it made me smile when nothing else that day did and I just wanted you to know that. Also you seem like one of the most honest and heartwarming people ever. I hope you have a good weekend. ❤️

gODS what’s up with you guys trying so hard to make me a smiling and blushing mess here aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank?? you???? I’m really, really, really happy I could make you smile!!! That’s the reason why I post my stuff to begin with, knowing I could help you even just a little bit means a lot!!!

Anon said:I’m really sorry if I reposted anything!!!!! Its truly out of habit….😌 But really, I’m sorry. (By the way, your art is amazing!!)

Thank you!! And as long as you took down whatever you reposted, your apology is more than accepted! Thank you for being understanding! But that kind of habit is something you should really grow out of, anon - for most artists, if they wanted their art on other websites they would post it themselves, and as long as it’s about sharing it here on tumblr a reblog is more than good enough! It’s nice of you to want to share my things, and I’m happy you like my stuff enough to want more people to see it, but since I don’t have accounts anywhere else on the internet I don’t really want my stuff there either - a link back to the original post would suffice if all you want is share, wouldn’t it?

About this, thank you so much to all the super nice people telling me they’re sorry about my stuff being reposted! There’s a lot of you and posting all the asks here would make this post insanely long, but know that I read all of them and I appreciate every word! To those mentioning they do tell people to take my stuff down when they notice it being reposted, thank you so so so so much, and to those worrying I might stop posting, for now that’s still not going to happen - I might reduce the amount of stuff I post for specific fandoms or ships, but I love it all too much and I love sharing my love for them too much to just stop. And thank you for all the nice words and compliments too, you’re all so kind to me !!!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you’re familiar with Dave and Buster’s (it’s a big arcade/restaurant for mainly adults) but I went the other day and all I could think about was “holy shit, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Terushima would have the time of their lives here” anyway, just thought I’d share that with you since I know you ship them as well cx

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we don’t have those in Italy so I can’t say I am, but this sounds interesting and if it’s bo kuro and teru I’m always up for hearing more! What kind of place is it? How does it work?? *O*

Anon said:Not a question or anything but I just found your blog and it is so nice??? Like all your art is amazing and you’ve made bakushimanari my ot3 and you bakusquad doodles are just perfect too. Just thank you for existing and your art and ideas just give me life. That’s all

THANK YOU OH MY GODS!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so so happy you like my squad stuff?? Lately they’re the most entertaining thing to draw tbh, I’m glad there’s actually people who like all the silliness hahaha I wish you the best weekend, anon, I know this ask just made mine, tbh!!

Anon said:LMAO when did Allen strip I don’t remember that

It’s in an extra! God I can’t remember what they were talking about so I can’t find it, I’ve been trying to since I got this ask (if??? anyone knows??? that’d be much appreciated???) but anyway they were hosting something? It might have been a character poll or something similar but I’m not sure, and Allen was The Host™ and at some point he started stripping and talking about added prices for it and if I remember right Reever and/or Johnny might have started crying for his forever lost and now non-existent innocence (was that a pun? possibly)

Anon said:OMG!!! I get so excited every time I see you posted something and now you just !!! uploaded !!!! all !!!! these !!!! BAKUGOU !!!! BIRTHDAY !!!!! COMICS !!!! AND !!!! I !!!!! AM !!!!! SO !!!! HAPPY !!!!!! (and they are all so adorable!!)

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THEM HOLY SMOKES!!!!!!! Every time I post so much all together I always worry it’s too much haha I’m sorry for clogging all your dashboards now and again rip

Anon said:I was so excited this chapter of bnha because I thought we’d finally learn Kirishima, my babies, backstory but then we didn’t and now I’m sad (im still holding out for him having met/seen Bakugou in middle school for some reason and being inspired or something).

That’s tbh a good headcanon I’ve seen around now and again, and until Horikoshi will finally stop holding back all the Kiri infos you!!! keep on doing your thing!!!! he for sure already knew of him because everyone did thanks to the sludge incident, so why the heck not

(I can’t say I share the hc though, since until they fought together during the USJ attack Kirishima did think of Bakugou’s quirk as Everything He Ever Wanted™, but he didn’t seem to be much into Bakugou himself? I dunno I dunno Kiri’s very gay and got around to sticking to Bakugou like glue in something like fifteen chapters I can’t say we saw much of how he used to think of him before deciding he wanted to marry him lmao)

Anon said:I love Kirishima so much it’s genuinely confusing, like this boy is literally sunshine and I want him to be happy with his explody bf. The latest chapters gave me life because he is shining and I want the world to love him like I love him. Your art of him is beautiful and the best thing ever.

BOY THANK YOU!!!! I’m glad I can do him justice in your opinion? He’s SO MUCH and SO BRIGHT !!!!!!!!!! It’s kind of hard, making him just as good as he is in canon, but that’s cause he’s perfect how is he that perfect how does he even do that I 100% share all of your confusion anon when did I even fall this hard for that child

Anon said:I’m most into the voltron fandom tonight so if I followed every blog that was suggested I would be burried in more discourse than I can handle lmao so I will just try to dig through tags to find weeks

……that’s really one messy fandom you decided to stick with, anon, I admire your strength - but!!! as far as ship weeks go, since the voltron fandom is pretty huge maybe there might be a blog dedicated specifically to letting you know when fandom events are supposed to happen! You should try digging around for that!!!

#fran answers #i gtg gtg gtg #i'm so lateeee #any mistakes in this depend on the fact that it's WAY TOO LONG and i'm l a t e #ripppp #anonymous

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