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whoahoney · 2 years

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glassy eyes, hazy afternoons // pt 2

Eddie Munson x anxious!stoner!Reader

part 1

Summary: Reader goes exploring Hawkins with her brother and makes more unexpected friends, leading her to attend a live music show at the Hideout.

Content Warnings: fem!reader, reader has an older brother, use of y/n, minor descriptions of anxiety, recreational use of drugs, use of cigarettes, alcohol consumption, adult language, adult content (minors DNI!), fluff, mutual pining.

Authors Note: AHHHHH PT 2!!! She’s lengthy but she’s good honest work. I love writing Eddie Munson, what a pleasure he is to work with, as I’m sure anyone else would agree. Anyway, please enjoy this heart-warming and flirty installment of the series.

Autumn in Hawkins looked straight out of the beautiful beginnings of a scary movie—the turning leaves of the maple trees standing out through the light fog that spread through the town like a blanket.

Windows were blurred with humidity and had condensation running down the panes like tears. When Y/n woke up that morning, she could feel the cool damp air clinging to her skin, and her nose was red with a chill. Her eyes darted over to the window next to her bed, realizing she had left it open a few inches overnight. The windowsill was wet with morning dew, as was her glass bottle green ashtray.

Before shoving the window closed, she dumped the remnants of her nightly smoke outside into the flower bed. She dusted off her hands and stood up from her bed, thinking about her plans for her lazy Saturday morning. Y/n searched for her coziest sweater and sweatpants, completed with some warm wool socks.

The aroma of eggs and toast wafted through the house. Johnny worked most Saturdays since they’d been in Hawkins, having to put their regular Saturday morning breakfasts on hold. It hadn’t felt right to carry the tradition without Sam’s presence, anyway.

Y/n shuffled down the hallway, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she made her way to the eat-in kitchen. “Hey pops,” she said before looking to the stove where she expected to see her dad in his favorite slippers and plaid pajamas, but the figure holding the skillet wasn’t her father.

“Hey there, kiddo!” Sam imitated their fathers gravely morning voice from the years of smoking cigarettes.

“SAMMY!” She shouted in surprise, now fully awake. Y/n dashed over to his open arms to give him a tight squeeze. Sam’s chest shook with laughter at his sister’s excitement.

“Miss me?” He quipped, knowing full well how much his sister had missed him, because he missed her just as much.

“Not a bit.” She said with a smile as she pulled away to look him in the eye.

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, turning back to the stove to flip an egg over easy—the way their dad likes them.

Y/n leaned on the counter next to Sam to swipe some toast from the stacked plate, then moved to the fridge for some butter and orange juice.

“When did you get here??” She asked looking over the top of the fridge door. Sam moved their plates to the table and plopped down in the creaky chair.

“Late last night, the old man doesn’t even know I’m here yet.” Sam said, rubbing his hands together like a villain with an evil plan at work. Y/n chuckled, setting down the butter dish and carton then grabbed some silverware and glasses for everyone.

They easily fell back in routine together, as if they never parted. Back in the day when Sam was 7 and Y/n was 5, people confused them for twins more often than not, because you rarely saw one without the other.

Sam had kept up with weekly phone calls back home while he was away, and even wrote twice, but of course it wasn’t the same.

Every Wednesday evening since Sam had been away, Johnny and Y/n would sit on the sofa with the phone in between them to talk to Sam for an hour or so. Sam would tell them about the interesting things he’d learned in class and the fun places to eat and “socialize”.

Of course, the weekly phone calls were nice, but with their dad being on the phone, Sam never got to tell her the real juicy stuff about college he’d been dying to experience.

It was no secret that Sam was wild, he was the life of almost every party, even Johnny knew his son was a little feral. But something else everyone knew about Sam was that he was genuinely a good boy through and through.

Sam always seemed to know what to say to people, whether it’s to break the ice, or stop a fight, Y/n had yet to see a situation Sam couldn’t ease.

“He typically works Saturdays, but this is his off day, so he should be up any minute now.”

Sam sipped his orange juice and raised his eyebrows. Before quickly setting the glass down. “Should we scare him?” He asks mischievously.

Crunching on her overdone toast, Y/n cranes her neck to see down the hallway, noticing her father’s door was cracked, and light peered through, confirming he was awake.

She nodded vigorously, both of them scooting out of their chairs hurriedly to find the perfect hiding spot.

“Where can I even fit??” Sam hissed, referring to his tall stature.

“The pantry!” Y/n quickly suggests.

She opens the door and hurriedly shoves Sam inside, the clumsy boy knocking over a stack of canned peas.

As she’s quietly closing the door behind him, Y/n hears the familiar creak of her dad’s door opening.

She sat down at the table, nervously eyeing Sam’s half-finished plate of runny eggs and toast, hoping it wouldn’t ruin the surprise.

Johnny made his way around the corner, sleep still lingering in his eyes. His greying hair, normally kept very tidy, was flat on one side where he slept. His warm moccasins shuffled against the floor as he approached his daughter, giving her a gentle head pat.

“Mornin’, darlin’” he mumbled while suppressing a yawn. “Awful nice of you to cook our breakfast, did you have a chance to put on some coffee?” He asked, moving Sam’s plate over to another space without any thought.

Y/n stifled a chuckle before speaking louder than normal. “Oh, no, I didn’t, but I think there’s some in the pantry.”

Johnny nodded and shuffled on over to the corner of the room where the closet was. As soon as he turned the knob, Sam popped out with a, “MORNIN’ DAD!” holding the coffee can out to him.

Their fathers’ light eyes shot open like Y/n’s had at the surprise visit. “WHAT THE HELL—Sam! What are you doing in there, boy??” Johnny laughed as he pulled his son down to him for a hug and fond pat on the back.

“Why didn’t you tell us on the phone you were coming? We could’ve had the spare room done up for you!” He rambled, overwhelmed with happiness to have both of his kids under the same roof for the first time in a month.

“Where’s the fun in that? I decided on Thursday I’d come down for the weekend, especially since I wanted to hear allll about sister’s first week.” Sam said, reaching over to ruffle Y/n’s hair while she swatted at him.

“Well, I can assure you; it hasn’t been nearly as eventful as your month at college.” She finished with a sip of her orange juice. Sam rolled his eyes at his sister’s inability to talk about herself.

“I’ll be the judge of that later, but for now you need to get ready.” He said expectantly, biting into his toast.

Johnny quietly fixed his plate by the stove and grabbed his ceramic mug to move to his seat at the table.

“For what?” Y/n questioned, an uncertain tone to her voice. Sam finished the rest of his eggs, using the toast to soak up the rest of the runny egg yolk, making Y/n want to hurl.

“Could you not do that next to me, that’s disgusting.” She wrinkled her nose at him as he chewed obnoxiously. “Try before you deny, sis, you can’t say anything is gross without trying it first.”

“I have eaten enough eggs next to you to know that the runny yokes are not for me.”

She stood and cleared the rest of her plate into the garbage and rinsed it before placing it in the sink. “Enough about the eggs alright, just go get some clothes on and show me around this place.” Sam suggested.

“Why do we have to go out?” She asked.

“Aw, c’mon, let’s explore! I know you haven’t been out and around yet, so let’s do it together!”

Johnny looked over the top of his morning paper, to contribute a “He’s right, you know,”

Y/n shot her dad a look of betrayal. “What? I think it’s a great idea for you to get to know the town together, you weren’t gonna go out on your own, were you?” Their dad asked with a knowing look.

Y/n rolled her eyes and turned around without another word. She shuffled to the doorway, shoulder checking her brother as she passed.

Y/n stopped and turned at the frame and leaned against it momentarily. “…can I pick the music?” She said quietly.

“The bronco is ready to roll whenever you are.” He answered—shoulder checking her, like she did him, on his way to retrieve his bag from the living room.

After Y/n found a more ‘suitable’ outfit, she met Sam in the living room—both of them fixing their belts around their waists.

“All set?” He asked.

Y/n nodded, holding up her bag as evidence.

“Bye, dad.”

“See ya, pops!” They said rushing out the door, the screen door swinging shut behind them as their dad waved a slice of toast in ‘farewell’.

Y/n never thought she’d be so happy to see the bronco, she couldn’t wait to feel the familiar velvet seats under her touch.

Sam unlocked his door first, almost diving across the cab to unlock the passenger side. Y/n placed her bag between them as they slammed their doors shut.

As Sam turned the ignition, Y/n searched through her tapes for their favorite tape by The Smiths.

She loaded it into the tape deck, What Difference Does It Make starts while he backs out of the drive carefully.

“Okay, tell me EVERYTHING.” He said with wide eyes and an eager smile. “About what?” She asked, purposely being difficult.

“AbOuT wHaT? You know what,” he took the opportunity to shove her shoulder. “School! How’s it hanging?? Make any friends? Did you join a club?”

“Well actually...” she started with a smirk

Sam screeched with glee and drummed the steering wheel in anticipation. “Aghhhh!!! I knew there’d be something to tell! “

Y/n laughed at her brother’s dramatics. “Shut up, so I can tell you!”

Sam nodded, bringing a hand to his mouth to literally ‘wipe the look off his face’ and put it back down on the wheel.

“So, the first few days were pretty unremarkable, my classes are okay, but math still sucks. Anyway, yesterday I took it upon myself to track down some bud here, and while it was a trialing journey, I met a few friends along the way.” She said as she dramatically brought a hand to her heart.

“Do tell!” Sam urged with his eager eyes glued to the road, just coasting around the streets downtown to scope out their options.

“In biology, I made friends with, wait for it, the head cheerleader, she was so nice and even invited me to her boyfriend’s party coming up, but I doubt I go just yet.”

Sam nodded thoughtfully, probably already seeing her point of view on the party matter.

“Since she knows everything about everyone, I asked her who I should buy from and she told me about this guy, Eddie Munson.” Her eyes turned a little dreamy as his name came from her lips.

“Ooh, Eddie Munson,” Sam wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Y/n scoffed and rolled her eyes away from her brother.

“What, I said his name, that doesn’t mean anything!”

“You didn’t even tell me your cheerleader friend’s name, not to mention the heart eyes. But, please, continue the story and prove me wrong.” He said smugly.

Y/n scoffed in shock, not expecting to be called out so severely, and so soon. She took a breath to prepare for the gloating that comes when her brother has found out he’s right about something. Which is irritatingly more often than not.

“Well, anyway, I’ll come back to him later, I gotta tell you about the hit I took in between classes—”

“You WHAT?” Sam slammed on his breaks at the stop sign, thankfully no one was behind them. “Jesus CHRIST, Samuel, what the FUCK?” Y/n exclaimed after being jerked forward.

“Did someone hit you? Did you hit someone??” He asked alarmed yet intrigued.

“Relax, there was a fight next to my locker and I was collateral damage. The hit didn’t hurt like the fall probably would have, but this freshman, Mike, caught me. Turns out, he’s in the same club as Eddie. So, he and his friends were able to pass a note I wrote to him, and I ended up meeting him in the woods behind the football field.”

“That totally doesn’t sound sketchy as shit at all.” Sam said with sarcasm with his head on a swivel, spotting a movie rental store coming up on their left.

“Anyway, I bought a half ounce from the guy, then we hung out and smoked for a while, and it was… really cool.” She finished with a subtle smile, trying to downplay her feelings a touch.

As Sam parked in front of the Hawkin’s Family Video, he burst out laughing. Y/n stared at him in annoyance as he tried to speak through the giggles.

Sam tried to imitate Y/n’s voice by speaking slightly higher pitched and dragging out his words airily and dramatically, “then we hung out for a while, and it was… reallly cooool.” He sighed dreamily out the window.

“Okay, so what, he’s CUTE, SUE ME!” She rolled her eyes, opening her door. “Now drop it, everyone knows everyone here, and I’d rather not have the whole town know about my fleeting teen crushes.” She mumbled as they met on the sidewalk.

Sam pulled open the door, and a bell sounded through the store. “You wanna take that side, and I check over here?” He asked as he eased over to the far side of the gallery.

Y/n nodded, and Sam turned all the way around to start his search for the perfect film. Her eyes scanned her side of the room, taking in the rom/coms to her right. She kept her eyes on the displays, looking for something familiar first.

The Family Video was empty and quiet with the exception of the radio for background music, and the shuffling of what Y/n assumed to be tapes coming from the back.

“We’ll be with you in just a moment!” She heard a friendly voice call from behind the cracked ‘employees only’ door.

Neither Sam nor Y/n responded, just continued to browse the store in silence until two people emerged from the back.

“Welcome to Family Video, is there anything I can help you with?” A girl asked, suddenly appearing next to Y/n, making her jump.

“Oh, uh, I’m not looking for anything particular, but I’m open to suggestions if you have any.” Y/n said to the girl with the name tag reading ‘Robin’

“You’re new, right?” Robin asked with quiet curiosity. Y/n nodded slightly, keeping her eyes forward as she felt the familiar tightness in her chest.

“I’m Robin, we have algebra together, I think.” She said even though she knew for a fact they shared the class.

Y/n allowed herself to meet Robins eyes this time, and when she did, she felt the tension in her chest fade. Something about Robin was very comforting, there was a certain quality about her being that told Y/n she shouldn’t have to be so anxious for this interaction.

“I’m Y/n L/n,” she said, reaching a hand out for a proper shake. Their rings clanked together when they clasped, and they shared a chuckle. “Well Y/n, recommendations are the main reason I chose to work at a movie store, follow me!” Robin said enthusiastically.

Robin skittered across the store to the side Sam was currently occupying with another store employee.

“Wait a minute, so you’re telling me that you’re a college man and you haven’t seen the Breakfast Club yet?” The guy said with genuine surprise, and maybe a little offense.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! What am I missing from another teen flick starring Estevez and Ringwald? Absolutely nothing.” Sam concluded with a teasing shrug.

Y/n had seen Sam look at a guy the way he did presently, but only with his friend Derek.

Sam and Derek were really close throughout high school. They were both popular upperclassmen, ran in the same circles, and played soccer together. That’s how they met freshman year— during tryouts.

Derek spent a lot of time at their house, lots of times the boys would camp out on the couches for the weekend and run around town together, always inviting Y/n along.

Sam was really sad when Derek’s dad insisted he pursued sports at Yale, instead of letting Derek apply at Bloomington with Sam like he wanted to.

Y/n didn’t hear about Derek for a long time after that, and didn’t want to ask about him and hurt Sam. She’d never been close enough with anyone to know what it’s like to lose a friend. Let alone a best friend.

But Sam had this special glint in his eye reserved for charming people out of their wits, and it seemed as though he had it on max while talking to this guy.

“Ugh, excuse him, he tries to pitch The Breakfast Club to anyone looking for a recommendation.” Robin rolled her eyes over the top of the shelf in front of Y/n.

“No no no no no, it’s not just another teen flick, man, you gotta give it a shot! Don’t you think a message about the dangers of societal pressure is important? And different??” The guy with the tag reading ‘Steve’ urges with conviction. Sam finds it very cute amusing and gives a chuckle.

“C’mon, if it sucks, I’ll pay you the money back you spend on renting it.” He offered with a nudge to Sam’s elbow on his way past, heading behind the counter.

Y/n looks at Sam with raised brows and surprise lining her eyes. Sam grins smugly and returns the look to her with sarcasm as he follows Steve up to the counter, accepting his offer.

Robin comes around the corner to show Y/n two picks: The Apartment and Child of Paradise.

“I know what you’re thinking, ‘I’d prefer something from this decade’ right? Well hear me out, both of these, while ancient—showcase the complexities and moral ambiguities in love and life, you know what I mean? If you totally hate it, I can definitely help you find someth—“

“No, no, no—I’ll take both.” Y/n said, knowing she’d watch them at some point in her free time, also knowing she couldn’t bear to disappoint Robin after she passionately pleaded her case for her film choices.

Robin’s eyes lit up and eagerly turned on her heel to add the two films to their purchase. Y/n approached the counter and stood next to Sam as Steve scanned the movies and Robin bagged them up.

Sam backed up slightly to peruse the snacks displayed below the countertop, innocently asked his sister, “See anything you like?”

Y/n looked at Sam to nod, knowing full well she only ate m&ms. So, wordlessly, he picks them up for her when he grabs his starbursts. “So cute.” Robin scoffed, shaking her head as Steve nodded in agreement.

“Got anything interesting going on tonight or is it just a cozy night in?” Steve said expectantly. Y/n furrowed her brow in confusion while Sam did his best to stifle a cackle but failed.

“That’s great, that’s really great, a first, too!” He said shaking his sister’s shoulder. “No, uh, this is my sister, Y/n.” He explained.

Robin and Steve paled in embarrassment and fumbled for words, not for long before Sam assured them it was okay and explained how they’ve been mistaken for twins before but never a couple.

“I’m just in town for the weekend, wanted to see the sister after her first week.” He nodded and put the snacks on the counter.

Steve looked to Y/n fully for the first time, “you’re new at Hawkins High?” He asked.

“That’s what he said, dingus.” Robin taunted as she put the snacks in the bag and rang up the rest of their purchase.

“$12.76, please.” She said politely.

Sam opened his black leather wallet that used to belong to their dad and handed her some bills. “I’m a junior,” She nodded, answering Steve. He gave her a small smile and slid the bag over to Sam, who wasn’t moving to leave just yet.

“So, any interesting plans, or is it movie night?” Steve asked them, rephrasing his question from before. “I dunno, what else is there to do here?” Sam shrugged.

Steve and Robin shared a look, plainly showing their silent conversation. Robin’s eyes read optimism, while Steve’s said apprehension. “Well…” Robin started. Sam leaned in, as he does when things get interesting.

“Our friend has a thing going on tonight at this bar called the Hideout, have you heard of it?” She asked looking between Y/n and Sam. The siblings looked to each othe,r and Y/n shook her head. “Well, do you listen any metal?” Robin asked.

Sam looked to his sister with excitement, “As a matter of fact..” he raised his eyebrows, waiting for her response.

“I do, and he does by association.” Y/n answered keeping her eyes on her brother.

“You guys should totally come!” Robin said with more enthusiasm. “But I don’t have a fake ID.. ” Y/n said feeling bad to ruin the mood.

“No worries, this place never cards. Plus, you won’t even have to sit at the bar, it’ll be so inconspicuous it’s insane.” Robin assured.

Sam looked at Y/n, waiting for her say so. Sam really didn’t want her to spend another school year inside. He wanted her to live. And he knew she was capable of putting herself out there now. It was just a matter of doing it again, and if she was willing.

Y/n knew how much she didn’t want to disappoint her brother, and herself for that matter. She knew how much fun she was capable of having. How bad could it be? Worst case scenario they get kicked out and she never has to go back.

“What time?” She asked

Y/n nervously spun her hair around her finger as she sat in front of the mirror, waiting for the clock to flash 8:45 so they could leave

She dressed a little out of her comfort zone but wore a flannel for safety and her jean jacket for warmth. At 8:35 she couldn’t stand it anymore and grabbed her bag to leave.

Y/n walked down the hallway to Sam’s room, knocking on the cracked door. Sam opened it swiftly, with his jacket in hand. “I’m antsy.” She spoke.

“Care to show me this bud you bought from your drug dealer?” He asked nonchalantly. “I thought you’d never ask.” She said as she turned on her heel to leave the house.

Their dad was already in bed, so they made sure to shut the door quietly and lock it behind them. Y/n skipped to the car, ready to listen to some tunes and hotbox in a parking lot with her brother again.

When the engine roared to life, they drove to the address Robin and Steve had given them, making sure to mention that the bar was a few miles outside of town and that they’d be there at 9:00.

The siblings rolled the windows down and turned up the radio when Rebel Yell by Billy Idol played. Y/n’s hair whipped around her wildly, but she was too busy obnoxiously singing at the top of her lungs with Sam to care that it was going to be a knotted mess when they came to a stop shortly.

When they reached the outskirts of town and saw the red neon sign glowing in the distance, Y/n reached for the pencil case in her bag, filled with the prerolls Eddie rolled just for her.

Sam parked behind the bar and turned off the engine and lights to remain unseen. He kept the battery on, so the radio continued to play, the light illuminated the back exterior of the bar and into the cab just enough. Y/n opened her pencil case and plucked out two joints.

“Whoa there, tiger, two?” He looked at her questioningly. She shrugged, “C’mon, special occasion? I’m a big girl now, chill.” She said placing the joints between her lips and digging her lighter out of her pocket.

Sam shook his head, holding his hand out waiting for her to hand one to him. When she got the light started, she puffed quickly to get them going and handed one to him.

“Windows up.” He said as he held it in his teeth, rolling the window up manually and nodding for her to do the same. “We’re going to smell like shit, Sam.” She said, obeying anyway.

“We’re going to smell anyway!” He said as a matter of fact. Y/n didn’t respond, she just puffed, and kept her eye glued to the clock on the dash.

8:47

They had exactly 13 minutes for her to get as tranquil as possible, and it was a challenge she was willing to accept.

Sam switched the radio over to the cassette deck and This Charming Man by The Smiths played, the upbeat track causing his head to bop wildly. He passionately lip synced to Morrisey, Y/n watching and not bothering to suppress her laughter.

She rolled down the window slightly to knock off her ashes, but as she did so she heard the crunching of gravel under shoes approaching the vehicle.

There was no use in ditching the joints, the smoke was too thick and wafting up to the stars as a couple of familiar faces ducked down to the window of the Bronco.

“Hey-o, I didn’t know it was this kinda party!” Robin said cheerfully.

“Ahhh! So glad you guys could make it, hop in!” Sam said with an inviting wave of his hand, visibly baked.

Y/n reached behind her and unlocked the back door for the two to crawl in. Robin and Steve clamored into the car and shut the door swiftly behind them.

Steve mumbled a soft greeting, looking to both Y/n and Sam, but Y/n could’ve sworn she saw something more flash across his face when he met eyes with Sam.

“There’s plenty to go around.” Y/n said to Robin as she offered the doobie. Robin smiled and gave a “thanks!” before accepting it and letting her head fall into rhythm with the beat of the next song on the mixtape.

“Ugh, Time After Time, love.” Robin sighed dreamily as she passed it to Steve.

Sam kept his eyes on Steve the whole time he took his dreadfully slow hit, then inhaling the smoke through his nose. Robin looked from Steve to Sam and then back to Steve, and then to Y/n.

Steve’s eyes met Sam’s, the two sharing a small smile before Steve let out a monstrous snort that quickly evolved into a coughing fit.

“See, Harrington, there is such thing as too much too fast.” Robin chided while patting his back supportively. Y/n chuckled at their antics. Steve regained control of his breathing, his cheeks and forehead were flushed pink, and his eyes overflowed with tears.

“You’re about to have the best time though!” Robin encouraged as Steve handed the joint to Y/n, and Sam handed his joint to Robin.

“Ooh! Double doobies, love it.” Steve said as the effect seemingly rushed over him. He propped his cheek against the side of Y/n’s head rest, observing how she expertly pulled a thick drag from the joint and nearly swallowed the whole cloud.

She let out a couple of baby coughs before clearing her throat, taking a deep breath, and handing it over to her brother who decided it was too short to hit anymore and stamped it out in the ashtray.

Robin glanced at the clock as Steve passed on his turn and sent the doobie straight to Y/n. “It’s 8:58, we better head in before he goes on!” She exclaimed as Y/n handed the joint to Sam since he lost his last turn.

Steve nodded with heavy eyes and turned to open the door, as Y/n and Sam cracked the windows to let the car air out. The teens exited the vehicle rather briefly, the cold starting to bite at their exposed skin and putting pep in their step.

Y/n and Robin walked ahead of Sam and Steve, the girls wrapping their jackets around themselves and giggling when they stumbled into one another.

When they reached the sidewalk rounding the front of the building, they stopped and waited for the boys to catch up. “C’mon slow-pokes!” Robin shouted through cupped hands.

Steve made a remark to Sam, causing them to share a laugh right before they broke into a run simultaneously. Robin and Y/n continued to the front, the closer they got the door the louder the sounds from inside became. The parking lot was fairly busy, college kids were flocked around a few vehicles in the lot, groups heading inside.

The boys rounded the corner, their laughter announcing their presence. “Welcome to the Hideout.” Steve said easily as he opened the door for the group. Robin motioned for Y/n to follow her through the heavy black door and into the dimly lit building.

Y/n’s eyes scanned around the room, the only lights came from the stage are in the back, and the neon signs covering the walls. The bar stools were filled, as were most of the small tables, but Steve quickly spotted a table in the back corner of the dance floor, to the far left of the stage, not far from an emergency exit.

“Alrighty, I’ll take it from here, Buckley.” Steve said, shuffling his way to the front of the group to lead. He held his hand up like a tour guide and walked at a determined pace to the table.

Steve sat with his back to the wall, Y/n taking the seat in the corner, Robin to the right of her, and Sam to the right of Robin, across from Steve.

Sam shot Steve another one of those charming looks, earning Sam a not-so-subtle smile from Steve, and a suspicious look from Robin.

“I’m gonna get drinks, what does everyone want?” Steve asked as he fixed his jacket to the back of his chair and stood with his hands on his hips.

“I’ll come with you, you’re gonna need extra hands.” Sam volunteered almost immediately. Y/n shared a brief look with Robin but wrote it off as nothing.

“Coke, please!” Robin said in a cheerful daze and drummed her hands on the table lightly. “Ooh, I’ll take one too, two cokes, boys.” Y/n said holding up a wiggling number two on her hand.

The boys turned to go to the bar, Y/n noticed Steve put a hand on Sam’s shoulder to lead him to the bar and saw the smile they shared as they started conversation. It was nice to see Sam hang out effortlessly with someone again.

“So, Y/n, you’re a metal fan?” Robin asked as her head rolled around to meet Y/n’s eyes. Y/n admired the freckles that adorned Robins face, and how electrically blue her eyes were. She typically didn’t like it when people did blue eyeliner, but on Robin it fit.

“I am a metal fan! Are you?” Y/n asked, effortlessly following the rules of conversation her brother taught her long ago. “I like some songs, but I’m no metal head like Eddie.” Robin chuckled as the boys returned.

Eddie?

Eddie, Eddie?? How many metal-head Eddie’s could there possibly be in Hawkins?

Before she had the chance to ask for clarification, Steve and Sam returned with the drinks. Sam set the girls drinks in front of them and took his seat next to Robin while Steve sat Sam’s brewski in front of him with a smile.

Robin couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Steve, covering it up by taking a drink out of her glass. Suddenly, microphone feedback echoed through the bar followed by a group entering the stage and someone adjusting the color of the stage lighting to a red that matched the neon sign outside.

“Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to The Hideout’s Open Mic Night!” A burly man leaned down to the mic stand to greet the crowd. “We’ve got some talented groups here with us, and we hope you guys are ready to throw back some drinks and get loud!” He rang out as the whole bar went wild.

“Let’s get rockin’!” He threw up some devil horns as he exited the stage, and the first group took their places.

Y/n sipped her drink nervously, letting her eyes adjust to the front of the room but not before Robin obscured her vision by leaning in front of her. “There he is, Steve, there he is!” Robin whispered and patted Steve’s arm in excitement. After she sat back, Y/n’s eyes met the tall, gorgeous figure now commanding the room.

“Uhh, hi,” he let out with a coy laugh and adjusted the stand as someone in the back cheered. “We’re Corroded Coffin.” He said with a nod and slipped his guitar over his shoulder.

The drummer tapped his drumsticks, counting off before Eddie and the bassist jumped together with the beginning of the song. Eddie plucked lightly creating the haunting melody, while the bass and drums provided the bassline.

A crowd soon gathered in front of the platform, covering most of his bottom half. Y/n settled back into her seat, bringing one knee to her chest and shrugging her jacket off to get comfortable. Eddie approached the mic before the drums intensified and then finally brought his own playing to a halt while letting the echo of his guitar hum.

He leaned into the mic scanning over the room before singing in his alluring rasp:

“Your cruel device, your blood like ice,”

Y/n leaned forward, propping her elbow on the table, fully enamored by his voice. She was so zeroed in on Eddie she didn’t even recognize the song he played.

“One look could kill, my pain your thrill...”

Eddie began to pick again while the drums pounded to a climax. “I wanna love you but I better not touch,” the audience echoed after Eddie, eating it up and losing their minds.

Sam head whipped around to Y/n with wide eyes “isn’t this your favorite song right now??” he asked excitedly.

Y/n hadn’t noticed her jaw had fallen slack until everyone was looking at her for an answer. She nodded, quickly returning her attention to Eddie. “This is your favorite song?!” Robin shouted, shifting in her seat to get up.

“That’s our friend, Eddie Munson!” Steve said, matching Robin’s volume and nodding his head to the beat. Sam’s eyes snapped back to Y/n’s while replying to Steve. “Eddie Munson, you said?” a smug smile working its way onto his face.

Y/n shook her head at her brother before a very hyper Robin yanked her up by her arm to drag her to the crowded dance floor. “Are we really doing this?” Y/n asked only slightly panicked as they entered the sea of bodies.

“It’s your favorite song, of course we are!” Robin said before emulating the hyped-up head bangers surrounding them. Y/n laughed, starting to feel the head rush from the weed hitting her harder.

She turned her attention back to Eddie, who hadn’t noticed her yet. He held the audience captive with his charisma and hypnotic rendition of Poison by Alice Cooper.

Before she knew it, she was jumping alongside Robin, whipping her hair around, and singing with the rest of the bar. Robin couldn’t help the giggle fits when she finally got to see Y/n loosen up.

As the crowd continued to shift throughout the song, Robin and Y/n were slowly pushed up to the front of the stage, much to their delight. A thin sheen coated their skin, their baby hairs around their faces clinging in place.

Eddie spent a few moments with his eyes closed, soaking up his moment and feeling like he could never ever find a feeling that beat this one right here.

Y/n and Robin stood to Eddie’s right at the stage, leaning their forearms on the edge to catch a breath. As the drum pounded, the crowd bordering the stage hit their fists in time with the bass, bringing Eddie a satisfied smile.

Y/n was glad her brother couldn’t see the heart eyes that she wore currently, and quite honestly, she wasn’t even thinking about her brother, or Robin for that matter. Just Eddie.

As the chorus played out for the last time, Eddie opened his eyes to scan the crowd, wanting to engrain every face that was present for the best night of his life.

Until his gaze came upon the ethereal face, he’d been thinking of for the past 24 hours straight, singing passionately with him.

“Your mouth, so hot, Your web, I’m caught” she turned to sing to the girl next to her, who Eddie could’ve sworn was Robin but the detail felt very unimportant at the time. All he could focus on was the way her lips looked when she sang the scandalous lyrics.

“Your skin so wet, Black lace, on sweat.” He watched as she tilted her head back dramatically, shaking her hair out down her back and exposing the column of her neck that he loves so much and wished so desperately to have access to.

“I hear you calling and it’s needles and pins,” his eyes were unmoving from her, absolutely mesmerized by the way her hair bounced around her as she jumped in time with the music, her own eyes closed and an impossibly big grin on her lips.

“I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name, don’t wanna touch you but you’re under my skin,” Her eyes finally opened to see his gaze found hers, and she couldn’t help but melt a little at the way he was looking at her, as if she were the only person in the room that mattered.

“I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison,” he sang with a wink in her direction, causing her to avert her eyes and a heat to crawl up her neck.

“I don’t wanna break these chains!” The crowd echoed to Eddie when he held out the mic at the closing of the song, feeling like a god.

The lights went out on the stage as the audience applauded and cheered their exit into the back with the second act coming on nervously. The lights came back on while a few skinny dudes prepared their instruments.

The crowd’s roar quieted to the usual bar chatter while Sam and Steve approached the girls from behind with a few shots.

“Alright, party people, bottoms up before the next act.” Steve said while passing out the small glasses to the girls. “I’m willing to bet it’s gonna be something by either Mötley Crüe or Cinderella,” Sam said as he clinked his small glass with each of them.

Y/n’s eyes felt droopy from the energy spent on moshing, and her limbs felt slightly gelatinous from the joints they split. She clinked her glass with Steve last before they drained them and handed them back to the guys to deal with. Y/n ignored the dull ache sinking through her as she scanned the room behind her for the man on her mind.

“We are The Ex Catholic Kids.” The front man mumbled quietly into the mic before the starting beats to Metal Health by Quiet Riot boomed through the bar.

“Good thing you didn’t bet, right?” Steve said to Sam with an audible smirk from behind the two girls. “Right you are, but I hope you guys are ready, because we get kinda wild to this one.” Sam said casually before grabbing Y/n’s hand to join the forming mosh pit in front of the stage.

Y/n’s careless laughter bounded out of her as she resumed her frivolous flailing, not bothered by all the other bodies and whipping hair around her.

The siblings kept a grip on each other’s forearms for safety, not letting the other get carried away by the waves of people.

“BANG YOUR HEAD!” They yelled to each other and resuming their dancing, if that’s what you could call it.

“Metal health will drive you mad!”

Around that time is when Eddie and his band mates, Gareth and Jeff, emerged from the back after packing away their instruments and collecting themselves from the epic performance they just gave.

Eddie’s eyes searched for Steve and Robin, and more importantly, the girl of his dreams that was suddenly nowhere to be seen. He spied Robin and Steve at the edge of the crowd, seemingly waiting for him.

Steve spotted Eddie approaching and nudged Robin to get her attention. When Robin saw Eddie, she ran to meet him halfway, stumbling into him for an awkward congratulatory hug. “Eds! That was phenomenal.” She slurred slightly as she released him from her grip and Steve joined them to give Eddie a fond shoulder pat.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at the two, examining their eyes carefully. “Are you guys wasted?” He asked suspiciously. Robin and Steve attempted to stifle their laughter but failed, giving them up immediately.

“We just had a shot,” Steve said, for whatever reason trying to explain their current state.

“—and two joints.” Robin confessed with a laugh and knocking Steve’s shoulder with her own causing him to burst into uncontrollable laughter with her.

Gareth and Jeff shared a laugh with Eddie before wading through the crowd to get their drinks.

Before Eddie could ask, a lightbulb visibly went off in Robin’s head. “Eds! You’re not gonna believe it, we brought friends! And you played her favorite song, how fun is that?” She said over the music.

Eddie scanned the crowd for her angelic face, before spotting her with Sam, which made his heart sink, no—plummet to the bottom of his stomach.

They looked so natural together, and happy... and close. He envied the way the guy gripped her arm as they moshed together, keeping her safe like he would if it were him. Robin’s chatter faded into the back of Eddie’s mind as he observed the two singing and laughing.

“There they are!” Robin exclaimed as she pointed to the couple Eddie held under his surveillance. He watched as Y/n and her guy returned, his hand on her shoulder carefully guiding her through the crowd.

Y/n’s eyes met Eddie’s, butterflies swarming through her chest and throat. She couldn’t quite make out the look behind his eyes, but whatever it was she was confused. He looked like he was holding his breath, his jaw clenched, and his eyes shined more than usual, maybe it was the stage lights that flashed red, blue, and, yellow on a loop.

Sam took his hand off Y/n now they were out of the crowd and took his position next to Steve, leaving Y/n with Robin and Eddie. She looked up at Eddie, observing how he avoided her gaze to look at his reeboks.

“Hey, Stranger.” She said over the crowd singing along, nudging his elbow with her own. Eddie couldn’t fight the smile her voice brought him and gave into the urge to look into her eyes. He wanted to say something—anything, desperately, but the ache in his throat didn’t allow him to.

Before he could manage a reply, Robin took it upon herself to make introductions. “Eddie, this is Y/n and her brother, Sam! They’re new in Hawkins and you’ll never believe it, she’s a total metal-head!” She said excitedly.

Realization hit Eddie like a truck; the guy was her brother, not her boyfriend.

“Is that so?” He asked, looking down at Y/n with the dreamy look he wore on stage washing over him again. A shy smile grew on Y/n’s lips as the third band of the night started Nobody’s Fool by Cinderella.

“I called it! I called it!!! Cinderella, baby, WOOO!” Sam hollered from the table while Steve cackled like a fool and stomped his feet in his laughing fit. Y/n felt a blush fill her cheeks at her brother’s drunken antics.

“He a Cinderella fan, I presume?” Eddie asked, breaking the tension. Y/n let out easy laughter and shook her head “Eh, tonight he is, I guess.” She said looking back at Sam, who was currently swaying with an open lighter raised above his head.

Robin scampered off to join Steve and Sam at the table, leaving Eddie and Y/n alone, finally. “You were really great,” she tried to say over the crescendo of the song and the cheers from the pleased crowd.

Eddie leaned down closer to her, the familiar spice in his cologne further intoxicating her. “What was that?” He asked.

“You were really great!” She said, raising up on her toes slightly to get a bit closer. Eddie eyes lit up at the compliment and silently thanked the stage lights for covering up his blush.

“I’m glad you liked it, it’s pretty lucky you got to be here when we played your song, huh?” He asked as his friends approached him with a beer stein for him.

“My song?” She asked with a smile. Eddie felt flustered. ‘Your song? Really??’

“I-I, I meant your favorite song, unless it’s changed between yesterday and today?” He fumbled for recovery, but still managed to make her laugh a little. Eddie took a nervous sip as Gareth clapped his shoulder, jostling him a bit.

“Eds! Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend here?” He said with a sickly sweet smile, knowing exactly what he’s doing to cramp Eddie’s style, or at least waver his confidence a little.

Eddie couldn’t help the steel look he shot Gareth momentarily before turning his lips up into a tight smile. “Of course! Y/n, these are my band mates, Gareth and Jeff. Gentleman, this is Y/n L/n she goes to school with us now.”

Y/n wasn’t always great at feeling out other people’s emotions but she could feel the tension emanating from Eddie, not knowing she is the source of his anxiety. She lifted a hand from her side in greeting, wishing she had a cup to hold or a joint to smoke.

“Nice to meet you.” She said with a pleasant smile that made Eddie want to swoon. Gareth smiled back at her in a way that made Eddie want to take him out as if he were the quarter back on a football field.

“Is this the very Y/n that kept you so late from Hellfire last night?” Gareth looked to Eddie with intrigue and raised brows.

Eddies answer caught in his throat along with embarrassment, and he felt awful for wishing Gareth would leave or disintegrate before he had to answer. Instead, Y/n answered for him. “I am! Sorry, I had him rolling up with me all afternoon.” She laughed easily with a captivating shine to her eye.

Gareth laughed along with her briefly before Sam approached the boys surrounding his sister. “Make some friends, Y/n?” Sam asked expectantly, his eyes immediately looking over Eddie up close.

“Sam, Y/n’s brother,” he held his hand out to Eddie as Y/n rolled her eyes at her brother, now wishing he would go away or disintegrate.

“Eddie Munson, good to meet you.” He said with a cordial smile, praying that Sam didn’t feel how sweaty his palm was. “That was awesome, really, I don’t know how Y/n will go back to wearing out that Alice Cooper tape now.” He nudged his sisters shoulder with a smile.

A knowing smile spread across Gareth’s face “Ohhkay, now I know why you suddenly took me up on my idea to play Alice Cooper, isn’t that right, Munson?” Gareth teased Eddie quietly as Sam made his way back to the table with Steve and Robin who were now diving into some wonderful looking bar food.

“What?” Y/n asked, not fully hearing Gareth’s revelation. “Nothing, nothing, he thinks we should go get a drink,” he shouted over his shoulder as he grabbed Y/n by the wrist and lead her through the room.

Y/n used the crowd as an excuse to stay close to Eddie, and thanked herself silently for wearing a shirt that showed more chest than usual. Eddies palm splayed wide across her lower back as he ushered her onto a bar stool.

“What’s your poison?” He asked her as he set down his beer. Y/n looked at the shelf of bottles behind the bar, swallowing lightly. “Um, coke.” She looked at him, the warm lighting illuminating his face beautifully and allowing her to admire his brown eyes she loved so much.

He let out a wry laugh at her answer and shrugged, ordering her a coke with the bartender. “So hows that half treating you?” He asked as their drinks were set in front of them, Y/n taking a long sip before responding.

“Fantastic, really. It’s down to a quarter now probably.” She said looking at him through heavy lidded eyes.

Eddie chuckled and glanced back at Robin and Steve, still giggling it up with Sam, who had taken to giving a performance of his own to his new friends.

“Glad I could help Harrington get the stick out of his ass.” He directed his attention back to Y/n who looked at him intently with the familiar glassy eyes he couldn’t shake from his mind. She chuckled and took another drink, which gave Eddie the opportunity to admire the way her hair draped over her shoulder so deliciously.

“So, what do you think of the Hideout? “ he asked, shooting the breeze. Y/n shrugged as she set her glass on the bar. “It’s grimy, but I find it endearing.” She spoke. “Grimy and endearing, huh?” He laughed.

“Yeah, like someone else I know.” She said wryly. His eyes found hers as his heart skipped a beat. She thought he was endearing. “So, um, how long have you been friends with Steve and Robin?” She asked, taking his silence as awkwardness.

“Well you know Henderson—Dustin, I mean, right? Steve babysat him and a few of his other friends like Wheeler and Sinclair back when they were in middle school, and he and I also used to go to school together, so when the kids joined Hellfire we had no choice but to interact more often. But turns out he isn’t as big of a pain in the ass as he used to be, so that’s pretty cool. And Robin, she’s sort of a package deal with Steve but I find her more entertaining than I find him, honestly. Didn’t know they smoked, so that’s a pleasant surprise.” He smirked down at his drink.

“What about you?” He asked her, getting the courage to look at her again, his eyes scanning over her face. “Oh, uh, we went to the Family Video earlier, and they talked us into some movies. But then Sam asked Steve what else there was to do around here, and Robin invited us out.” Y/n nodded.

“And here you are.” He said quietly, sneaking a glance at her lips.

“And here I am.” She agreed as his eyes flicked back up to hers. “Do you wanna step out with me? I needa smoke.” He said dismounting his stool.

Y/n glanced back at their table, Sam listened to Steve chatter about something while Robin made additions here and there. Y/n looked back to Eddie who had slid a cigarette into his mouth and grasped his lighter, waiting for her answer. She nodded with quiet eagerness and followed him through the side door next to the bar.

The squeaky swinging door lead out into the ally where the dumpster sat along with two benches presumably for employees to take their breaks. Eddie plopped down in the space next to the dumpster, leaving the one closest to the door free for her. He patted it affectionately as he brought his light up to his cigarette.

She sat almost immediately, her high excusing her brain to ignore any and all ideas that she may come off as too eager. He held out his lit cigarette to her, and she accepted it keeping her eyes on his.

He smiled as he watched her take a drag and lean back against the brick building to gaze above them at the stars. When she exhaled, the smoke left like a prayer from her lips to the sky. He forgot how to speak momentarily, suddenly feeling as if he were in a dream. His hands remembered he needed to light another for himself, that’d help him.

“So what made you play Poison?” She asked directly. Eddie felt his cheeks flush as he fought a small smile. “Gareth has been bugging me to play it for a few weeks now, I couldn’t take his persistence anymore, ya know?” He said with a shrug and a nonchalant drag of his smoke.

Y/n giggled and swatted his arm playfully before leaning back again to admire the sliver of sky carved out by the buildings surrounding them. He paused for a minute before answering her without taking his eyes off her smoking profile.

“Actually this uh, cute little pothead mentioned it.” He shrugged. Y/n’s head whipped around in a cloud of smoke to meet his eyes, spotting an ornery smile on his face.

“Is that so?” She asked before taking a drag to pacify the heart palpitations she was experiencing. Eddie turned to look at the sky himself, spying the moon peeking over the top of the building in front of them.

He nodded lightly, the smile still playing at his lips from before. “Very much so.” He looked to her lips, the way she was ogling his. Neither of them could tell you which of them leaned in first, but the two came so close their noses grazed one another before Robin all but falls through the door, “I’m sure I saw them come through here!” She said, causing the two to lurch apart, making themselves comfortable on either end of the benches, puffing anxiously at their cigarettes.

“See! There you guys are.” She confirmed to the two men following her. “Y/n M/n L/n, is that a cigarette?” Sam scolds teasingly as Y/n covers her face with her free hand in embarrassment at the use of her middle name.

“You’re middle name is M/n?” Eddie asked with an amused smile on his face. Steve and Robin laughed at Sam as he took his sisters smoke from her to hit it himself. Y/n looked back to Eddie and nodded shyly.

He scooted closer to her, not nearly as close as before, but close. “I like it. It’s cute. Like that girl I was talking about.” He said quietly, gently nudging her shoulder and took a drag from his cigarette.

“So uh, Steve and Robs and I were thinking we’d go back to the car to smoke for a bit, would you like to join us?” Sam asked Y/n but referred to Eddie mainly. She looked to Eddie for an answer, but his heart sank as he looked into her eyes again.

“I wish I could, but I have to get the band home...” He said with disappointment lining his words. Y/n nodded understandingly, returning her gaze to her hands in her lap.

Eddie handed her the rest of his cigarette as an idea popped into his head. “I’d also like to give you a ride home, if that’s cool...” he said to her quietly, her gaze meeting his again at the offer.

“Really?” She whispered.

He smiled warmly at her and nodded, “I’ll probably have to drop you off last, you know, cause of my routine stops but I could definitely squeeze you in.” He teased quietly.

Y/n scoffed and rolled her eyes before standing and handing Eddie’s cigarette back to him to approach her brother who was leaned against the door frame listening to Robins theory about cuffed pants and sexuality. “Samuel, I require a word.” She said in a small posh voice, earning a snicker from Sam the Zooted.

He offered his arm like an English gentleman, and she took it in hers as they took a slow stroll down the alley, discussing in hushed voices.

“Eddie wants to drive me home, and I want him to, is that cool?” She asked nervously. Her brother never overstepped when it came to his sister’s decisions on who she spent her time with, while he always held her safety in high regard, he knew he had no say. Despite that, Y/n still respected his opinion when it came to matters such as these.

He stopped to shoot her an eager look. “Absolutely.” He whispered and gave an encouraging squeeze on her arm as they resumed their walk. She briefly leaned her head on his shoulder affectionately before pulling back to ask “So, Steve’s nice...” and shoot him a knowing look.

Sam wouldn’t meet his sisters eyes but wore a smug smile on his lips. “I know. He’s really nice.” He glanced back at the waiting group, Eddie now leaned against the wall to join Robin and Steve’s conversation.

“Cute too, hmm?” She nudged him again.

“Shut uuup.” He rolled his eyes and retracted his arm from her before turning on his heel to return to the group. “Is it cool if we use like two more prerolls?” He asked her, walking backwards with his keys in hand.

Y/n stopped walking when she reached Eddie, Robin and Steve getting up to follow Sam out of the alley. “Yeah, you just gotta help pay for my next restock.” She said with a devious smile. Sam turned all the way back around and flashed his sister the finger before rounding the corner, Robins laughter fading with their shadows on the sidewalk.

Y/n sighed and plopped back down in her seat at the end of the bench. Eddie quickly scooted back close to her til their thighs were touching, to hand her the cigarette she left with him. She thanked him quietly before taking the final drag and squashing it beneath her foot.

“You ready to get outta here?” He asked, his breath tickling her shoulder. When she turned she didn’t expect him to be as close as he was, but she wasn’t complaining.

He observed the curl of her eyelashes, the outline of her face and the way the night breeze carried her flyaways towards him.

She took a deep breath she didn’t know she needed and nodded, the prickly feeling in her throat returning when she caught a whiff of his spicy cologne she wanted to drown in. Eddie couldn’t help himself when his hand raised and traced her cheekbone and down along her jaw and chin, stroking the round of it with his thumb.

Eddie didn’t know it but this simple sweep of his fingers stole her breath away, and she wanted nothing more than to lean into his touch like a lovesick puppy.

“C’mon, let’s get these nerds dropped off.” He said, standing up to get the door, and holding it open for her as she sat—still recovering from the unexpected affection. Eddie snickered as he looked her over, he loved these moments where she didn’t know how to act, as if he had the ability to flip the power switch in her head and steal all ability to function from her.

Y/n finally noticed his waiting and stood abruptly to walk through the open door. She scanned over the crowd for Eddie’s friends and waited for him to take the lead to find them, when she felt his hand on her lower back. She looked up to him as he tentatively pulled her closer to move through the busy crowd, more people seemed to fill the bar than when they left ten minutes ago.

“Over there,” Eddie nodded to Jeff whose arms were waving over the crowd. Eddie placed both hands on Y/n’s shoulders and he steered her in front of him and through the crowd carefully.

“We ready?” Eddie asked, looking between his friends for confirmation. Gareth ran his eyes over Y/n again and raised his eyebrows at Eddie suggestively.

Eddie rolled his eyes with a smile and turned Y/n around by her shoulders to find their way to the front door. Eddie couldn’t help the constant flickering between his hands and her back and shoulders.

He loved the way her hair brushed his hands as they moved, and he was very surprised at the sensation he felt when someone unexpectedly stepped in front of Y/n, bringing her to a halt and Eddie to run into the back of her. His eyes widened at the tightening of his pants that he’d been fighting all night.

Once they made it through the doors, the freezing night air hit them like a ton of bricks, knocking Y/n’s hair straight back much to Eddie’s delight. He could smell her sweet shampoo, and caught a glimpse of the entire expanse of her neck and shoulders, a glimpse he’d be revisiting for late at night for a while.

Y/n immediately shrunk back into herself, grabbing her arms for warmth. Eddie immediately shrugged off his jacket to drape over her shoulders. “Oh gosh, thank you.” She said with the sweetest smile at him.

Eddie bit back a smile and placed his hand back on her to lead her to the van the two other boys were already headed towards at a determined pace. “Anytime.” He said more lovingly than he meant to and rubbed his hands over her shoulders with vigor for warmth as they crossed the road.

The ride with Gareth and Jeff was more fun than Eddie first expected. He was fully prepared for Gareth to try to destroy his façade, or for Jeff to make some dumb remark at something she contributes to conversation, but of course they loved her.

Y/n played disc jockey, locating the tapes everyone requested on their way through town. Jeff was dropped off first, leaving Gareth to cozy up to the front seat the best he could to talk to Eddie and Y/n.

Eddie loved to hear the way Y/n talked with other people, though a small part of him craved all of her attention and found himself going 10 over the speed limit in a residential area. “Jesus Ed, you’re gonna get pulled over. I didn’t think you had that much to drink.” Gareth said, clinging to the head rests of the front seat for dear life since he wasn’t buckled in.

“I didn’t, I just had lead foot for some reason, sorry, dude.” Eddie explained, easing onto the break. Gareth nodded in understanding and got comfortable again as Eddie pulled into his driveway.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Y/n. Eds, until next time.” He reach over the rest to give Eddie a small brotherly handshake and exited through the back doors, closing them with a brisk slam.

Eddie watched Gareth jog up the walkway to the front door, the moment he’d been anticipating was finally here—they were alone.

“Well, you’re next, I suppose.” He said looking her over. Y/n looked at her watch and read 11:37.

“It’s the weekend, Munson, I don’t have a curfew.” She shrugged. Eddie let out an impressed whistle and raised his eyebrows. “Damn, the world really is our oyster isn’t it?” He asked as he backed out of Gareth’s driveway.

“What do you wanna do?” She asked, anxiety tinting her words. He smirked and briefly looked to her with that wonderful, mischievous glint in his eyes before answering, “Nothing legal.”

@munsonsmel0dy @thincrusttheworks

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x anxious!reader #eddie munson x stoner!reader #eddie munson fluff #stranger things x reader #stranger things fluff #eddie munson oneshot

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golbrocklovely · 4 months

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Ignoring the rest of the fandom, are you gonna do an analysis of the parts of the video you found interesting? Because that would be super interesting to read/hear as usually you give very good analysis of things and I'd be super interested to hear what parts interested you the most.

these might be a bit out of place compared to the podcast, but here are some parts that stuck out to me.

also omg this became so long so... grab a snack or something lol

i think it was really telling, and also interesting, to hear about sam's dad and how involved he was with snc and their careers early on. first off, his dad retiring at 47 is crazy, so clearly he was business savvy man and i'm glad to hear how much he helped the boys in the beginning and made sure to really help navigate them. the telling part to all of this is the fact that one of my assumption for the longest time was that colby's family (not his mom, but everyone else - especially his dad) were not as supportive. and this was kinda proof of it. i think they both have relatively conservative families, but colby's is clearly more conservative than sam's. bc if you saw your son being passionate about something and instead of being supportive, you kinda shoot him down - even tho he is finding success and making money from it - you come across like a bad parent in my eyes. it's one thing to be concerned, of course. but it's another thing to be discouraging.

i always had a feeling his family wasn't supportive, given the fact he never even mentions his family besides his mom and occasionally his brother, but this really nailed it on the head for me. it really brings me back to when snc hit some high number of subs, like 6 mil or more, and colby's dad texted him something like "6 mil. that's cool." or something extremely vague like that. and i'm like…… you wanna try to sound a little enthused there, pops??? lol

them, in general, talking about the bts-business stuff was honestly really intriguing to me. bc i've always wondered what happens on the back end of their content, since they never really talk about it. hearing them have adsense taken away from them bc they signed to a shady mcm is so surprising bc they have never mentioned that before. and it honestly makes me wonder if that was why they started their separate channels. i think they had mentioned years ago that they made their personal channels bc they wanted to make content that was outside the snc brand or that just wouldn't have fit on there, so i wonder if part of that was due to not having as much adsense for so long and just needing another avenue to gain money.

i think something else that i thought was cool to hear about was the beginning stages of their confidence journey back when they were in hs. it's an interesting conversation to be had that they (and probably many other guys) grew their social confidence thru disturbing the peace or getting girls' numbers and things of that nature but then comparing that to how girls gain confidence. bc i was the same way as them growing - i was shy, introverted, and socially awkward. and i just feel like all of those things that they claimed to do: the pranks, the "go game", things of that nature, that wouldn't have led me to being more confident. that would have just made me feel foolish, or even less social. but that's also, i think, just my general demeanor anyway. i wish they would have went a little more in depth when asked "why were you so introverted" or however the interviewer put it. bc that would have been a really interesting conversation. too bad they didn't stay on that too long.

like @xplrvibes mentioned, the anxiety conversation really just showed the difference between sam who has situational/occasional anxiety vs colby who (most likely, but i'm no doctor) has an anxiety disorder. to say your most confident was at 15 and you have to continue to stretch your social muscles…. that's not how """"normal"""" ppl work. but i get colby truly. it makes sense why he is a bit of a recluse sometimes or likes his alone time. i think this also weirdly shows that colby, while introverted/a loner naturally, can make friends easily vs sam, who likes to be around others, interestingly can't make friends all too well. or at least comes across awkwardly (by his own admission).

i liked their in depth talk about the killing best friend prank bc they haven't talked about it in years. i vividly remember when that happened and i was so shocked by the idea of it that i didn't watch it and it was before i was even a fan of them. still to this day haven't seen the whole thing. but it was nice to hear sam admit that he was in on it, even tho i know in years past he said the same thing. but so many ppl still believe he wasn't… idk. i personally think he was. plus he literally admitted he taught himself to cry (which… sounds very sociopathic, but i digress lol).

i saw a couple ppl freak out on them for saying that "if we did the following fat ppl vine now, it probably wouldn't be as much of an issue" which… is literally not what they said, but is what ppl claim they were saying. but i get what snc actually meant, which is that if they were starting out again, today, at the age they were all the way back in the day - no one would care about them the same way they have in the past. the pr stunts that they have done over the years that surprisingly worked would most likely not now. i think in a way they would get lost in the shuffle of other content creators. but part of that also is bc of what trends now vs what used to be new and exciting back then. but it is worth noting how many times things have worked out for snc in the end. xplr gods might actually be on their side after all lol

even tho i know snc have kinda done it et nauseum at this point, i do find the topic of the conjuring house interesting. especially since they made this whole spectacle about it bts to friends and really wanted other ppl's opinions on it and what they captured. and i think that, regardless of how you feel about snc or cody and satori, shows that snc really do believe what happened there and were extremely moved by it. that was obvious on camera as well, but i think it's sweet in a way how excited they were and still are about what they experienced there, whether it was technically real or not. i wish there was a way they could talk about it without debunkers losing their minds.

okay so there is a part where snc are talking about the devil's rocking chair, and colby let's slip that he felt like there was a voice telling him to stay in the chair longer…….. and i just need everyone to know that i hate when colby doesn't say that shit while it's happen and instead holds onto it for years and then casually says "oh yeah btw". like???? his empathic nature towards spirits and whatnot is so fascinating to me and i direly need to to explore that more, especially when snc have made it known that they want to work with less equipment/be more open.

the one thing i will fault these two guys interviewing snc for is when they got onto the topic of colby's cancer, colby alluded to there being some underlying trauma when it came to his cancer. that going thru chemo was fine during, but has caused trauma down the line. and like, i would love to know what he means by that. bc a lot of the time, when he talks about this, he alludes to there being something right under the surface, but no one ever presses him on it. of course, i get why some wouldn't do that, but i am genuinely curious. especially since colby always leads with "guys, it surprisingly wasn't that bad. and i'm doing a-okay now" which… hey that's great, but feels not quite right. i pray that colby took time to just, idk, cry or freak out or get angry - SOME FORM of emotion that wasn't just calm, cool, collected. it's great he was optimistic and kept his head up the whole time. that's fantastic. but i worry he's not allowing himself to feel everything fully. and you know, maybe a podcast isn't the place to do that on, sure; but i hope he's done it on his own time.

i think the final thing i want to say that i found interesting is the discussion they had about productivity. imma be honest, i'm very concerned in the long run as to how things are gonna work out for them. bc you have colby who clearly wants a break and needs one at some point, and then you have sam who feels like shit if he's NOT working. that at one point he felt like it was his purpose to work and without working, he didn't have one. and i get they have found a "balance" or so they say on that, but i just feel like in the long run if sam doesn't calm the fuck down on working constantly, he's gonna burn the both of them out. also everything he was talking about when it came to productivity and having that tied to how he feels about himself and whatnot… he sounded like he was about to have a break down or something. he sounded neurotic, and honestly i'm concerned for sam. also measuring every action you do in whether it's productive or not or HOW it's product and to what… dear god, just go to therapy. holy shit.

okay. i think that was everything. sorry this was super long, but hopefully that makes up for me taking like two days to respond lol

#ask #personal #sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock

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slightly-smarter-nat · 2 years

Note

Hello. Sorry if this request is too late to do, today has just been a little hard for me because of 4th of July fireworks, being in the military and having some PTSD. Um, can I maybe request a Natasha x former military, now avenger reader (you can decide if female or GN. I’m female, but again, your choice) and maybe something with fireworks at the compound and usually reader is okay with fireworks but this one time, R feels uneasy and just has a PTSD episode, and Natasha consoles her S/O? So yeah. Again it’s okay if you’re busy and you don’t have time to do this but thank you anyways!

The Fourth Of July || Natasha Romanoff

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Warnings: PTSD episodes mentioned; mentions of war/combat; mentions of military weapons; mentions of anxiety and other PTSD symptoms; mentions of injury; mentions of hallucinations; mentions of alcohol. If I have missed any warnings, please let me know.

Word Count: 3,967 words.

A/N: Thank you so much for the request anon, I really appreciate you trusting me enough to write this fic. I apologise it’s late, I kind of fell behind on my writing, but I’m slowly getting back on track. Please note this is an au so some character’s behaviours may be different to what is expected.

Please do not repost (on here or any social media platform), copy, translate or take ownership of my work. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated <3.

Masterlist

*AO stands for ‘Area of Operations’.*

GIF not mine

The Fourth Of July: Natasha Romanoff-

“Clint! How many of these ‘Willow’ fireworks do you want me to use?” Tony shouts from across the field, readying up the firework display in progress.

“I don’t know man, just use the whole lot. I bought plenty at the store.” Clint replies as he taps the side of his beer bottle, creating a little tune to keep himself entertained.

It’s the Fourth of July; not only a day of celebration of Independence for America, but a birthday celebration for the Captain himself- Steve Rogers.

Every year, the team has a small get together to celebrate both occasions- just close friends and family gathered around at the compound.

Whilst Bruce and Tony configure a plan in which each firework will be activated- using a clever device Tony produced that will release each firework in any desired order. The rest of the team are gathered around the picnic area of the compound’s grounds, sitting at a table and enjoying some drinks before the spectacular show.

“Mr Rogers, how old are you exactly? You know with the whole being frozen in ice situation and everything?” Peter Parker curiously asks, as he pours himself another glass of water.

“Dude, you can’t just ask people their age. You’ve got to introduce a guessing game first so everyone can get involved.” Sam says teasingly from the end of the table.

“Not happening, all the guesses will be that I’m ‘way older than Thor’, or someone will ask if my ‘first best friend was a dinosaur’.” Steve answers in protest; knowing that these answers have in fact come up in conversation before.

“Oh man, you’re becoming more boring with age.” Sam teases at the Captain, causing Steve to throw a piece of candy from the table in the Falcon’s direction.

Sam instantly catches it and shoves it into his mouth, causing Steve to shake his head, not the slightest bit surprised at his friend’s antics.

“Anyway, why do you ask Parker?” Steve redirects his attention to the young Avenger.

“Oh, it’s nothing really. I was just curious.” Peter starts to sink himself into his chair, suddenly shying away from the topic of discussion.

The team members present look between each other in confusion, causing Wanda to send a wave of magic through her system and read Peter’s thoughts.

“Ahh, it’s a question for his History homework.”

At Wanda’s words, Peter’s gaze shoots up in horror. Worried that the team will scold him for asking such a question in order to gain the answers in an easy way opposed to carrying out extensive research like the rest of his classmates.

“I-I’m sorry, I just need to ace this upcoming test. Mr Stark said if I fail a test this semester, he’ll confiscate my upgraded web shooters and make me use the old ones.” Peter says as his tone is laced with nervousness.

A few of the team members roll their eyes in unison, not believing the billionaire’s words for a second, “Please, that man doesn’t have a stern bone in his body when it comes to you. Besides, he doesn’t always set the best of examples.” Clint says as he points a finger in the direction of Tony Stark and Bruce Banner.

The team present turns their line of sight towards the two men, only to notice Tony stomping out a small fire that has somehow broken out in their testing area.

Natasha reaches forward to grab a small bowl filled with M&M’s, sporting the iconic combination of red, white and blue. As she takes a random handful, she subconsciously offers the bowl towards you, expecting you to take a handful as she inspects the array of colours that decorate her palm.

When Natasha fails to feel the pressure of your hand roaming the miniature treats, she takes a moment to look over at you. That’s when she notices your vacant expression.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Natasha questions gently, being wary of what state you’re in.

To Natasha it seems that your mind is locked off into yourself, as you study a particular area of the table in front of you.

Natasha places the bowl back on the table, before leaning an inch closer to you.

She gently calls out your name once more; placing a hand on your shoulder.

To her surprise, this sudden contact sends an influential jolt through your system, causing you to move in your chair slightly before allowing your frantic eyes to meet Natasha’s concerned ones.

“Sweetheart, what’s going on?” Your girlfriend queries as calmly as she can, attempting to avoid you recoiling back into your vacant state.

You use the arm rests of your chair to push your body up somewhat, trying to straighten up your posture before addressing Natasha.

You clear your throat a bit before speaking, attempting to remove any sign of hesitation from your next words, “Yes, sorry. I just started daydreaming once Peter started talking about History.” There’s a small hint of jest in your tone, however Natasha can see right through it.

Natasha studies your face intently, she knows you’re lying. The question is, why are you lying to her? You’re not one to daydream during team conversations, you’re usually on the mark to engage where possible; especially now considering how close you have become to each team member since joining directly from the Military.

To answer the question in your own terms, you’re petrified of what’s to come. You can’t exactly explain what it is, but there’s this heaviness inside you, dragging you down into oblivion. Your mind is racing, though you can’t pinpoint what’s causing it. Your body is tense, causing each muscle to ache uncontrollably. Part of you wonders whether it’s the excitement of the day getting to you in a divergent way- you normally adore the Fourth of July.

You wish you could confide in Natasha about this, but you don’t want to worry her on a day like this. All you can do is plaster on a smile and hope that you can make it through the night without letting your feelings of anxiety consume you.

As Natasha’s concerned gaze continues, you make quick work of reassuring her, “Nat, honestly I’m fine. I’m just a little bit bored from waiting, that’s all.”

Natasha takes a moment to process your words before releasing a sigh, opting not to push you on the matter but ensuring to monitor you closely for any sign of uneasiness, “Okay detka, once we’re finished up here we can watch a movie. It’s your turn to pick.” Natasha chooses to move the conversation forward, whilst displaying her M&M filled hand in front of you.

You smile in appreciation, for both the dropping of the tense topic and the candy on offer. You pick up a red and blue M&M from the pile and instantly shove them into your mouth, “Thank you, my love.”

Natasha leans in to place a delicate kiss on your cheek. Though, before she can say anything further, Tony shouts over to the group.

“Let’s get this show on the road team! The display is ready to go!” Tony uses his hands to cup around his mouth, allowing his voice to travel further and clearer towards the team.

“Ahhh, finally. It is extremely boring being sat over here.” Thor says as he makes his way out of his chair.

Wanda scoffs in offence, “Thanks Thor.” She lets out sarcastically.

Thor displays a proud smile, completely missing the sarcastic nature of Wanda’s tone, “You are very welcome.”

“Right, let’s go see the marvellous creation of Banner and Stark.” Steve vocalises to the group, attempting to move them towards the makeshift viewing area for the firework display.

You attempt to push down the feeling of your heart rate rising, concentrating on the feeling of Natasha wrapping her hand around yours to guide you up from your seat.

Natasha smiles sweetly at you, “Are you ready?”

You choose not to speak, knowing a waver in your voice will give away your nerves, so instead you give Natasha a firm nod and a smirk.

Natasha pulls you into her embrace, wanting to keep you close on the way over to the fireworks. As she works one of her arms across your shoulders, you in turn wrap one of yours around her waist as the two of you begin to walk.

Every step closer fills you with an unknown dread.

——

“Okay, stand back everyone, let the professionals get to work.” Tony addresses the team as he configures data to input on his device connected to each firework.

“Yeah, when are the professionals getting here again?” Sam asks in a mocking way.

“Ha, ha you’re hilarious Wilson.”

As Tony and Sam start a teasing, yet friendly exchange, you focus on grounding your emotions.

Natasha is just to the side of you, talking to Wanda. You take a small step back to give yourself some space, not realising someone was standing right behind you.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to get in your way.” Peter says immediately after you bump into him.

You move your hands around your clothing furiously, trying to seek comfort from the uncomfortable situation.

“No, it was my fault. Sorry Peter.” You can’t meet Peter’s gaze, causing you to study anywhere but his face.

You can sense he is about to ask you the same question that Natasha has repeated throughout the night, there’s only a certain amount of times that you can confirm that you are okay without it becoming suspicious in combination with your uneasiness.

You’re about to move forwards again, ready to ask Natasha if the two of you could leave the area; knowing something is seriously wrong.

However, before you can put your question forward, Tony starts an instant countdown from three. Rushing through the numbers too quickly for your liking.

The sound that follows causes your body to freeze, the whistling of one of the fireworks travelling up triggers something in you.

Your body fills with a wave of nausea that practically bursts alongside the sound of the firework exploding in the sky.

The bang puts your mind elsewhere, involuntarily.

That one firework has taken you from the Avengers’ compound field to the battlefield you once fought on in the Military.

As you look around all you can see are your fellow soldiers desperately crying out for help. You stand there helpless, looking around for any sign of an escape.

More explosions fill your ears, causing your eyes to flood with tears, you don’t want to be back here. You need to find a way out. You can feel as the scorching heat around you sends a sinister coating of sweat on your skin, making you uncomfortable to the maximum level.

The explosions are becoming more frequent now, each one sending a shock of dread through you. Your body cannot cope with this, the stress and environment sends your mind into overdrive, causing an unforgiving headache to form.

It all feels so real to you, from the dirt cascading down from the falling bombs to the pain surging through your body from loose shrapnel.

You want to take cover but your feet feel as though they’re bolted to the ground.

The smell of burning fills your senses, increasing your worries more. You try to convince yourself it’s a hallucination, though unfortunately your mind would rather convince you that this is all very real.

At this point, the sounds are blending together, a combination of gunfire and bomb explosions surround you, yet they feel closer with each addition of the next one going off.

A wave of dizziness takes over your body, causing everything around you to become disoriented and practically in slow motion. You begin to rub at your skin in desperation to feel anything other than the fear that’s striking you down.

With one final clutch to the roots of your hair, you close your eyes in an attempt to block out the menacing environment.

As the battle continues in your mind, those surrounding you at the compound start to notice your distress.

The team gaze up at the sky in absolute awe, loving the way the colours spread across the night sky.

Peter smiles in wonderment, focused on the impressive display in front of him. That is until he hears your pained whimpers.

He looks to his right to see you clutching at your hair and burying your face deep into your arms as a form of protection.

Your body is shaking violently, causing Peter to panic.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” With Peter’s heightened tone, Natasha’s head whips around to see your distressed state. Causing her heart to shatter, the thoughts that flood her mind are that of guilt. She will not forgive herself for allowing this to happen under her watch.

Just as Natasha is about to move towards you to comfort you, Peter beats her to it and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

What they both failed to realise is that you’re now on high alert in anticipation of an attack.

As soon as you register the touch on your shoulder, you grab Peter’s hand and twist it around in an unforgiving way, causing a crack to sound along the bangs of the fireworks.

Peter yelps out in pain, catching the attention of the rest of the team.

Their horror filled eyes can’t comprehend the actions taking place.

You twist Peter’s arm behind his back and push it into him, before swiping at his legs and flooring him.

The team gasps in fright, not understanding why you’re attacking Peter.

“What is she doing?!” Tony shouts as he rushes over to you.

Natasha puts her arm out to stop him, “Don’t, she only attacked Peter because he touched her, there’s something wrong.”

Once Natasha releases those details, things start to click in Sam’s mind.

The combination of your actions and the fireworks has to mean you’re having a PTSD episode.

“Everyone stand back and give her space, she’s in combat mode.” Sam says urgently and he moves to the front and pushes everyone back.

The team look at him in confusion, “What do you mean, we need to stop her.” Tony lets out.

Steve’s face drops in realisation, “It’s the fireworks isn’t it, she thinks she’s on the field.”

Sam nods his head at Steve’s words.

The two of them slowly and carefully make their way towards you. Making sure not to make any sudden movements that you may mistake as a threat.

They crouch down to your level, knowing what they need to do to help ease you out of your episode.

“Y/L/N, the AO is clear, you’re safe.”Steve starts the process.

Your glare is focused on Peter, pushing hard on his body to keep him down. He releases whimpers of pain at your force, not being able to move from the position you’ve trapped him in.

“Hey, I’m a friendly alright, I was down range. It’s all clear, you don’t need to do this, Peter is a friend.” Sam continues, trying to gently get through to you.

The team can’t do anything but watch, hoping Sam and Steve find a way to help you.

“Tony, stop the fireworks, it will be making it worse.” Natasha says firmly, trying to avoid the tears from spilling from her eyes.

Tony snaps out of his trance, “Yeah, sorry, Bruce activate the lockdown protocol on the device.”

As Tony and Bruce begin to remove the trigger of your actions, you start to release your grip on Peter, slowly but surely coming out of your trance.

Steve waves Natasha closer, signalling for her to help. She instantly crouches down towards you, “Y/n, you’re safe, I’m right here, you’re at the compound. No one can hurt you detka.” Natasha speaks softly to you.

Natasha’s soothing voice is what manages to break you out of your own mind. You look around with tear filled eyes, not sure of what is going on.

When you look down and notice Peter underneath you, you instantly push away from him, placing your hand over your mouth in despair.

“I’m sorry, oh Peter I’m so sorry.” You sob out, clutching at your knees.

Sam and Steve rush over to Peter, attempting to help him up. Whereas Natasha moves closer to you, “Detka, I’m going to touch you now okay.”

Before Natasha has the chance you rush into her embrace, grabbing at her in agony.

You cry uncontrollably into Natasha, coming to the realisation of what you have done, and dealing with the aftermath of your episode.

Your breaths quicken to a wild pace, surging you into a panic attack. Natasha is quick to help you to avoid that from happening. She pulls you away from her so she can place both hands on each side of your face.

“Hey, look at me okay, copy my breathing. We’re going to take some deep breaths okay. Deep breath in, and out.” Natasha places her forehead against yours, attempting to give you the contact you need for grounding. You struggle to follow her breathing sequence, having your worries putting a strain on your regular breathing abilities.

Natasha patiently guides you through the breathing exercise, never once making you feel rushed or pressured, “You’re doing so well my love, I’m so proud of you.”

Once your breathing has regulated, Natasha places a kiss on the top of your head.

Suddenly a rogue firework is activated by mistake, sending a feeling of panic through everyone.

Wanda instantly encases it with her powers, avoiding the possibility of it going off and triggering you further.

“Natasha, I can’t hold it long.” Wanda says in a struggled way as the firework attempts to work its way through her scarlet red barrier.

“Can you move it away or something?” Natasha asks in a short manner, silently scolding herself for letting the stress influence her tone.

“I can try, but if it goes off-“

“Go, I’ll cover her ears if you hurry.” With that Wanda sends herself up towards the firework and moves it away from the site.

Natasha wraps her hands around your ears, protecting you from the sound of the firework going off. Luckily you barely hear it, with Wanda's and Natasha’s quick actions being carried out successfully.

Once Natasha removes her hands, she says to you, “I want to make sure you’re grounded, can we try something sweetheart?”

You nod instantly, trusting Natasha. Ignoring the sound of Wanda landing beside you, to put your focus on Natasha.

“Okay, can you name three things you can feel?” You look at Natasha’s face as you answer.

“Um, the grass, you and the breeze.” You answer quietly.

“Good job detka, now I’ll keep it easy. Can you name three things you can see?”

You pick up your gaze as you look around, “The trees, the compound and-“ That’s when you release the whole team has been watching you this entire time.

Embarrassment fills your system, causing you to pull away from Natasha. She stops you, “My love, it’s alright, we all want to make sure you’re safe.”

“Of course we do, we’re family.” Clint says as he crouches beside you and Natasha, trying to comfort you.

You look towards Peter to realise he��s being escorted inside by Tony and Sam.

Steve makes his way over to you, causing you to worry that he’s mad at you.

“He’s going to be okay, he’s more worried about you than anything. Tony sent me over here to make sure you’re okay too.” Steve says.

You bow your head, “I don’t even know what happened.”

“Y/n, this wasn’t your fault. It is most likely PTSD, and we will do everything in our power to help you through this okay. No one blames you for this.” Steve continues to reassure you.

“I ruined-“ You begin but Natasha places a finger on your lips.

“No, don’t do that to yourself. You haven’t ruined anything okay. You are not to blame. We all love you so much, okay, you’re safe.”

Tears invade your eyes, but this time they’re of gratitude.

“Let’s get you inside for a check up.” Bruce suggests, holding his hand out in support.

You slowly take it, allowing Natasha to help you up.

You all make your way to the compound, feeling safe with your team and family around you.

——-

After your check up, Natasha suggested you get some rest. Which leads you to the current situation of having your head resting on Natasha’s legs as the two of you lay on the living area couch.

“Here you are Lady y/l/n, this should help.” Thor offers you an iridescent formed drink, causing you to scan it in interest.

Natasha guides you up to scan the drink also, “Thor, what is it?”

“It’s a beverage we make in Asgard to help with nerves. I was hoping it would help.”

You smile in respect, “Thank you Thor, I’m sure it will help.”

Natasha pulls you in closer as she wraps an arm around you.

You take gentle sips of the drink, a combination of citrus and sweet dances around in your mouth.

“How is it my darling?” Natasha asks.

“Really good, do you want some?”

Natasha shakes her head, “No thank you my love.”

As you turn your gaze to the TV, the exhaustion of the events on the field start to catch up with you. Causing your eyes to briefly shut.

Natasha notices as your head drops, “Love, why don’t we go to bed?”

You inhale sharply through your nose, “Please can we stay up longer, I don’t want to sleep yet.”

Natasha agrees, knowing the remnants of the episode most likely continue to linger in your mind.

She chooses to take the drink out of your hand to avoid any spillages from occurring.

As she goes to lean back, Peter walks into the room, wearing a light form of bandaging on his injured hand.

Your eyes shoot wide open, “Peter! I’m so sor-“

Peter instantly interrupts you, “Please don’t apologise. I understand what happened, and I’m really okay, that heightened healing of mine had to come into use sometime. It will be healed really soon.” He says in a light manner.

“As long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters. We’re all here for you alright. I’ll do my best to make sure I understand your boundaries and how to help if it happens again.”

You slowly stand up to hug Peter.

“Thank you, Peter.” You say wholeheartedly.

“Anytime, now Mr Stark promised me that we could go through some late night training exercises to strengthen my hand further, so I’ll catch you guys later.”

You and Natasha bid him a goodbye as he jogs out of the room and towards Tony’s lab.

You snuggle back into Natasha, causing her to start running her fingers through your hair.

“I know you want to ask about it.” You decide to break the silence.

“Only with what you’re comfortable in telling me detka.” Natasha replies as she continues to stroke through your hair delicately.

“It just built up out of nowhere.” You say as you stare blankly at the TV, watching as the pixel forms move around.

“You’re not sure what triggered it?” Natasha asks.

“Not exactly, I have an idea of what it could have been.” You start to draw patterns on Natasha’s clothing, trying to occupy your mind from the difficult topic.

“We’ll figure it out together dove, you’re not alone in this okay.” Natasha says as she tilts your chin up to ensure she has your full attention.

You nod to confirm her words, “Thank you Natasha, I love you.”

Natasha smiles and places a kiss on the tip of your nose, “I love you too.”

Though today was extremely difficult, the support of your family and friends shows that you are safe and loved within this world.

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pupstim · 1 year

Text

Sam had to do a double take as Danny and Ellie strolled into the room. They were covered in what to be golden rings, hanging from their wrists like bracelets, some looped over their head and a few around their neck. Danny even had one around his waist like a belt.

She was about to question them when a yellow two tailed anthropomorphic fox looking creature followed after them, chattering excitedly to Danny about schematics for what sounded like an engine.

“Danny, whatcha got there?” Tucker asked from behind her, staring hungrily to the golden shine of the rings.

“A smoothie,” He replied easily, giving them a cheeky grin as he raises his Nasty burger smoothie.

====

Dannymay Day 27: rings

It has BEEN A DAY. I usually don’t talk about this stuff but we had to give 3 of the kittens we’ve been fostering for like almost the past 3 months to another foster because of financial reasons. And we were wholly unprepared for these babies when we found them. But I still feel awful because I’ve gotten attached and like I’m abandoning them even though logically I know that’s not true. Then I’ve had to go to a graduation party and pretty much sit alone for two hours surrounded by people I do not know. I’ve got some severe social anxiety so it really wasn’t all that good. It’s not been a bad day just a super duper overwhelming day and I am on the verge of a meltdown.

SO I did this little funny story and sorry I cannot add that many parts to it but I just wanted to get this one specific image in my mind down on a word doc. I want to draw this but I just am already so far behind :’) I’ll come back to it maybe on the free day.

Bleh Anyway, I got this idea because although I wanted to do Saturn’s rings, I also kept thinking about Sonic, he’s got those funny golden rings and with the infinite realms being well infinite, I figured it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to have Danny meet Sonic. I think they’d get along alright but I feel like Danny would get on very well with Tails. I always headcanon Danny as being quite the engineer and I bet they would get really into talking about Tails’ plane and various inventions. It’d be fun. Ellie is there because I love her. She could be the one who led Danny to the Sonic universe. The rings are just so shiny and look pretty :)

#Dannymay2023 #Danny Phantom

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lesbiandanhowell · 6 months

Text

Sam reacts to: Don't cheat on people at Christmas

So initially this was gamigmas reactions only but Phil made me have thoughts so guess what here we go!

- Phil calling tumblr more moral than reddit, I feel validated especially after Dan has been roasting us so much.

- Phil I see you with the WAD merch!!

- THE PHOTO OF DAN AND PHIL AS THE NICE PRESENT FOR THE FAMILY I AM WHAT THE FUCK PHIL I AM NOT OKAY (He KNEW what this would do to us, he fucking knows and he did it anyway, I am in your walls now Phil.)

- The fear of God that just gripped me thinking that it was a b*tterhelp sponsorship thank god it is not. Headspace actually is solid for the anxiety bitches amongst us and I am still so comforted by Phil talking about it so openly as a fellow (social) anxiety person.

- "They're doing it in the christmas tree" PHIL HAHAHA

- Literally what is this christmas tree story, dead-ass a rom com plot I am with Phil on this one and I support his dramatic, petty resolution.

- Phil praising the (unhinged) tumblr energy, not something I expected but we are pretty fun.

- "The Dan Howell special" HAHAH I LOVE PHIL EXPOSING DAN (and also the fact he can just throw this in because everyone knows Dan).

- Love the sneaky peak of their Christmas tree and I am so curious who decorated it because it looks less chaotic than I expected.

Double upload day might kill me, because I am more busy today than any other day so far, why today Phil, why.

#amazingphil #phil lester #sam reacts #Don't cheat on people at Christmas

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emo-sebastianstardew · 1 year

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Demolition Lovers Part 2- Sebastian x Farmer Stardew Valley Fanfic

(In this chapter we will be talking about smoking. If you guys think it's not good let me know but I would like to include it because it's part of Sebastians character.)

"I should get going I've taken to much of your time up already. I gotta get to the Saloon anyways." You smiled.

"Oh... Stardrop?"

"Yeah.."

"I can walk with you and give you a slight tour if you wanted... no pressure.."

"Sure it would be nice to have some company."

You began to walk with him heading down the mountain. You both were silent for a minute before he broke the silence.

"My name is Sebastian by the way. I didn't really introduce myself. I apologize for that." He smiled slightly.

"I'm (farmers name). Nice to meet you Sebastian." You smiled back.

"I don't talk much. Especially to new people..."

"Is that a problem we're walking together than?" You felt a bit of anxiety come up with those words falling out of your mouth.

"No not at all. I just don't like people. People can be to much you know. But you seem cool I guess." He smiled looking at you.

"Oh cool. You gotta at least have some friends here right?"

"Yeah Sam is my best friend. I hang with him a lot. Like I've said before I'm not much of people person so some days I'm not in the mood to even see him sometimes. Not that I don't like him or anything just some days don't feel like being social and well Sam. He's a social butterfly."

"Yeah I get that completely. Anyone else you are friends with?"

"Yeah I guess Abigail. Shes cool and means well I guess. But you know when you have a friend that has a huge crush on you and you know but don't really feel the same?"

"Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Friends like that can be hard to let down."

"Yeah but we are almost there. If you want you can hang and play pool with me."

" Yeah sounds like fun. Maybe later would you like to hang out Sebastian?"

He stopped walking and looked at you for a second as if he never had been asked that before. He just stared at you for a second not saying anything.

"I don't know if you smoke but would you like to later maybe?" You asked hesitantly and very nervously.

"Smoke what?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

Instead of answering him you just grinned at him.

"You'll find out, If you say yes."

He laughed and held open the door for you. You walked through the door and saw the bar was pretty lively full of people. Sebastian walked past you and gestured for you to follow him. You followed him to a back room of the bar. In this room were 2 arcade machines, some couches, couple of tables and chairs, one pool table.

Sebastian walked over to the pool table and a tall guy with blonde hair in jacket greeted him. They did a quick hand shake then he gestured for you to come over. You approached hesitantly at first.

"(farmers name) this is Sam. Remember I told you about him on the way here." Sebastian smiled at you.

"Hello Sam." You smiled and waved.

"Oooh you two know eachother " Sam grinned eyeing you both.

"Just met actually." Sebastian said clearing his throat.

"Yeah. Sebastian was just walking me here, showing me where the Saloon is." You said.

"Oh okay. You gonna play some pool?" Sam asked.

You nodded your head but insisted the boys play first round and you play against winner. You took a seat on the stool next to the pool table. As you watched them play you noticed a girl sitting on a couch behind them. She was watching them play too. She had long purple hair and was wearing a purple shirt. You noticed she was watching Sebastian mostly. You went back to watching them play but kept that in mind. They finished and Sam lost. He handed you his pool stick and swapped places with you. Before walking to the other side of the pool table you stop by Sebastian.

"Hope you're ready to lose." You grinned at him.

"Really? Is that a challenge?" He smirked raising an eyebrow.

"You bet." You said walking away and going to the other side.

Sebastian decided to let you go first. You chose solids and the game began. You made your first hit in. The yellow 1 ball. You went again and got the blue 2 ball in. You went again and got the red 3 ball in. Sebastian watched you in amazement as you kept playing. till you had 2 of your balls left. It was Sebastian turn and he moved around the table towards you. He bent down right by you. Your face blushed red, you were definitely watching him. He turned and looked at you.

"Enjoying the view." He smirked.

"Enjoying watching you lose." You grinned.

Sebastian finished his turn with 2 balls left as well. You swing around infront of him and bend over in front of him. You call your ball and make it in. You slide past him brushing up against him and call the next ball and make it in. Sebastian watches you intensely. You finish the game.

"Ha I win." You smirked at him.

"That you did." Sebastian looked amazed.

"I've never seen anyone beat Seb." Sam said from the other side of you.

"You owe me now Sebastian." You grinned at him.

"And what woul-" He was cut off by a female voice.

"Sebby you never lose." The girl with purple hair said walking over approaching everyone.

You all turn and look at her blankly. You were about to open your mouth and say something but Sam beat you to it.

"That's what I said Abby." Sam smiled at her.

"It was a fair game Abby." Sebastian smiled at her.

"So you're Abby." You said interrupting what felt like a moment.

"Yes and you are?" She asked in a rude tone.

"Abby this is (farmers name). I'm sorry I didn't introduce you earlier to (her/him/them)." Sebastian blurted.

"Oh is (she/him/they) your friend Sebby." She asked taking a step closer to Sebastian.

"Yeah (she's/he's/they're) my new friend." He smiled.

"Yeah well... this has been an exciting night. Thank you all for having me. But I better get going." You said smiling and waving bye.

"Bye (farmers name)." They all said and waved.

You started walking out. For some reason Sebastians words just kept playing over in your head. You left the Saloon and sat outside for second in your thoughts. Did Sebastian really meant what he said about Abby? Was there something going on between them? Why do you care so much? Just forget about it right its your first night anyways. But like always someone interrupted your thoughts.

"Hey (farmers name). You didn't wait for me."'

To be continued.....

#sdv sebastian #stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sebastian x reader #sebastian stardew valley #sebastian sdv #sebastian stan #stardew farmer #stardew fanfic

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thelioncourts · 1 year

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Okay, please share what it was like watching Sam and Jacob being cast back when the announcement was made! Curious to see what fans of the book thought when they saw them. And Bailey!

!! so I followed anne religiously on social media (naturally) and remember vividly when she sold the rights in 2016. i had called my friend v and was like 'WE'RE GETTING TVC' and she and i freaked out. but then it just. didn't happen. and there would be news, and then nothing, and then news sometimes, then nothing. i remember the last kind of "big" thing i saw was an article in 2019 (which i posted on my instagram story so it's in my archive lol) that ultimately, at the time, led to nowhere.

(i feel like the article was about the show moving from the original network that had it OR was about the showrunner changing, because there's a whole story there too)

anyway, i very much became a 'i'll believe it when i see it' kind of person and didn't check too much into anything.

then all of a sudden: august 2021.

i'm sitting in my shitty apartment, getting ready for my first year of teaching and nauseous at the thought, and i'm doom-scrolling and amc has put out casting announcements. and i absolutely lost my mind.

you see, there have been fancasts and everything since the books came out, and i have seen some pretty insane casting suggestions for tvc. i remember cody fern was a big fancast for lestat around this specific time period. i, personally, had very much made up my mind that i didn't want to know the actors that got cast as lestat and louis, specifically, because i would have preconceived notions of who they were and would get in my head.

i saw jacob's casting announcement first and had a very mixed set of emotions. i sort of vaguely knew jacob from got; i never really watched got, but my parents did and i would see about everything in passing. he was my mom's fave character <3 but! i had not real opinion of him other than he was beautiful and for that i very much approved. i will say, however, that when the casting announcement was first made i didn't know/they hadn't said (??) about the time change and i spent a lot of time really confused how he was going to play a 1700s wealthy plantation owner :)) and then when i learned of the time change his casting made sense, but it added this whole different level of anxiety because like ?????? what did that meannnnnn for me. but i knew he was talented and i knew he was beautiful and i was like 'this is fine. i trust this' and like ?????????? oh my god did strike gold with jacob anderson. beautiful, stunning, talented, otherworldly boy.

i saw sam's casting announcement second and i need to preface it with this: since 2016 i had lived in this state of almost fear at the idea of casting lestat. lestat walks so many lines, lines of villain and hero and lover and antagonist and beauty and monster and prince and pauper and vampire and human and mentor and student and father and son and husband and etc. etc. etc. like lestat is fully, 100000% the hardest casting because he really is the vampire chronicles. i did not know sam reid when i saw him. the picture they posted for the announcements was with very short hair, a fair amount of stubble, and i remember looking at him and thinking that i couldn't really see it but also i've seen amazing transformations and so i was like 'we'll see.' i purposefully did not look up ANYTHING about him, did not watch anything he was in, to avoid getting in my head. it wasn't until SDCC that i really took the time to look at him and, in hopefully the least weird way possible, i have never been more attracted to another person in my entire life. and so much of it was centered on personality. like hollywood is full of beautiful people so it wasn't just that sam is incredibly attractive and stunning, but the way he spoke of the books, of lestat, of loustat, his utter understanding of what this was, how important it is, him having a multitude of copies of the books, some since his adolescence, just -- everything. and then, of course, i watched iwtv and i can't believe i ever questioned if someone could play lestat the way he need to be played because sam is the definition of perfection. he is everything, he is superb. he is unmatched in his talent and we're so fucking lucky to have him.

bailey made me nervous too, namely the age change! anyone that's read iwtv knows that the true horror of claudia is the idea of this FIVE. YEAR. OLD. CHILD. running around in that child body for eternity. being a woman in that body. and so making her 14 was like :)) like i got it from a filming perspective; if you cast an actual 5/6 year old and it takes three/four years to film the first two seasons (as it is) then suddenly she's 8-10 years old and the growth of a child from 5 to 8 or any of the other options is just crazy !!!! but also i was like oh nooooooooooooo a time period change and a significant claudia age change whyyyyy and then i watched it and it was perfect. and bailey was this perfect love child of sam and jacob's likeness and she embodied so many of lestat and louis' traits in a way that made her so much their child it was scary.

and basically it was my nervousness at the time period change and casting lestat and the aging up of claudia all being proven to be utterly beautiful things, perfect and a gift, truly, to this story that made me decide, then and there, that i would not question these writers until i felt like there was something right on my screen that made me. i would trust all of their changes, all of their choices, because they have yet to ever let me down.

and the casting -- i know so many of us have talked about it, but we are so incredibly lucky on all fronts. beautifully talented and wonderfully kind people are playing our vampires. what more could we ever ask for????

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv

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briefcasejuice · 2 years

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i guess we're all pretty happy to hear about the tone of the show (me in particular 😂) but what do you think about the run they might be using? is it a good story? do you think it'll translate well to the screen? i'm interested to know what you think! ❤️

OH MY GOD?? WAIT WTF??? i knew that they were using soule's suit for echo but holy shit this opens so many doors but closes a lot more. this whole thing gives me anxiety cause i hate the mcu and no matter what they're not gonna live up to The Standard that is the original marvel's daredevil but i really appreciate the story they've chosen. like sure, i was all here for if if they were gonna heavily base it off waid's run but that run is very much reliant on the plot introduced in the previous run -- matt's identity reveal/being revealed. disney was never gonna do that right but i hoped they'd meant just using the tone and went along with it.

now this, makes sense. it plays into the 'born again' shit they're going for. matt regains his secret identity and is given a chance to start over. which is essentially what the end of s3 alludes to -- starting over but like, right this time. i know i know, i shouldn't be thinking of disney's show as a s4 but it's stupid that they keep insisting it's a new beginning but is still heavily dependent on the previous show. it's really telling.

anyway, soule, at first wasn't my favourite run but that was also at the point where zdarsky's was my favourite (😬) so pardon me but it's a very good run. excellent follow-up go waid and introduces a lot of interesting concepts for matt. i can tell he was trying to start something new with matt, he was really bringing waid's character development for matt into his run -- especially when it came to sam and mike -- and it just sucks that a of it was thrown out the window when mackay did his analysis run.

i'm worried about what they're gonna do to my boy sam!!! his character is so important. he's an illegal immigrant trying to do the best he can with both the knowledge he has and the life his mother scraped together for him and his sister. the mcu has a track record of ignoring social/sociopolitical commentary despite having it stare them right in the face and i just know they're gonna do the same for him. just- ughhhh!!

mcu fans are gonna do the iron-dad thing but for matt and i'm gonna hate it and cry every time i open tumblr. but i do have faith in their interpretation of the hand after what they tried with the dr strange movie.

so yeah. thoughts.

#thanks for telling me this stuff #i try not to associate myself with the mcu especially when it's dd related cause it makes me mega anxious #i appreciate this little synopsis of news though #thank you :)#gabs' asks

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quantum27 · 1 year

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i was thinking about. whatever variety of neurodivergent Sam Beckett is (esp depending on an individual's headcanons) he's DEFINITELY undiagnosed. Getting diagnosed even with like. Anxiety pre 2000s was sure to block many opportunities. Often times it would block you from job opportunities and socially ostracize you (and it still does. But back then, it was even worse. Sometimes we forget than it took till at least the 2010s for therapy to become normalized.)

And Sam already has so many expectations by being incredibly smart. If ppl (the GOVERNMENT who employs him, whom is already very hard to work with and considering that it's shown in the series they are Ready to cut Funding in the series I can't imagine pre-leap what that was like-) he could literally be fired and blocked off from opportunities.

anyway I just imagine this could be super frustrating for him because like. he has no access to tools and stuff. And it'd probably be terrifying to research personally as well.

#i might finally write a ql fic with this premise #quantum leap #Sam Beckett #thoughts on the matter #my grandpa in the 90s had panic attacks and he automatically assumed they were heart attacks #if that helps contextualize things extra #If Sam was in his right mind during shock theatre it would have terrified him #Like I think he forgot his fears about all this but like #God. Pych wards were fucking cruel back then #mental health has come a lot way in twenty years #Anyway I'm fine. Thinking about blorbo angst moment

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rabbitindisguise · 1 year

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it's my post and I can make it as long as I want to :3 (it's really long)

hm this might be a weird thought but I wonder how much misinformation has contributed to positive things in society?

a lot of human rights activism is a game of telephone where someone will say something like "I would like to use the restroom" and then someone else is like "my god someone can't even pee in peace why do we even have gender signs" and then it's all "gender signs should be removed!" which is 1) not what they said and 2) very much a part of mob mentality type of deals where everyone is so upset and repeating the worst most ridiculous parts they ping pong around until bigger, more concrete and radicalizingly basic ideas are established

in academia this is often seen as a negative. Like, "no good progress will ever be made until people can communicate perfectly an telepathically and it's only a major con," and not "perhaps an important feature in the ability to mediate social conflict because it's existed long past our attempts to remove it"

but yeah your cause getting picked up by well meaning middle aged white women has, historically, been a wonderful thing in general. Abolitionists, gay rights, suffragettes, etc are all movements that have had significant support in this area. And almost universally, these women tend to badly misunderstand some things and yet those misunderstandings, while they might incite rage in oppressive groups, also tend to rally lots of support by being emotionally gut wrenching.

I think the important part of misinformation is not that it's wrong but what the purpose of the falsehoods are. It IS true that we use gender signs on bathrooms, so while that's not the most pressing concern, why is it such an effective way to stoke resentment towards the kind of person who defends actively attacking trans people? If boiling something down to surface level arguments that barely scratch the surface is not doing due diligence, why does it so often pan out correctly more often on the side of the oppressed than the oppressor?

Words are wonderful and important tools but tbh I wonder if trying to logic our way out of human emotions is not just a fool's errand but actively harmful. One thing important about trauma processing is not just learning to properly identify emotions to wrestle with them, but to learn TO feel. At all. Since PTSD causes irritability, panic, anxiety, restlessness, etc because of repressed emotions, disassociation, and avoidance, I think it's a sign that emotions serve an important and even arguably necessary evolutionary purpose to intelligent thought and sensible action.

We get tired when we need a break, we get happy when good things happen (typically). These cues are important bodymind communication tools and intertwined with lots of chemical reactions and complex psychological responses that control everything from perspiration to metabolic rates to oxygen saturation. When someone says "they're being mean!" and we get angry, that's regarded as purely interpersonal emotion but I think perhaps there is something deeper going on wrt to the social aspects of humans as a species. We talk about hiveminds (literally: bee hives), chemical signals, ultraviolet lights, etc as exotic compared to "rudimentary" human speech. But I think perhaps like gut microbes communicate with human bodies, humans in social groups communicate with the larger social groups. And things like democracy, anarchy, communism, capitalism, etc all fundamentally fail to answer how DO we actually make decisions anyways? Stripped down to the bare essentials, we appoint moderators/diplomats/instructors/skilled professionals into roles to handle disputes or take care of particular tasks.

But like . . . that's weird right? We don't really learn what it means to evaluate someone for something like that. "How do you know that Sam is good at teaching math?" There's nitty gritty How Many Kids Pass or Who Learns What but ultimately we sort of know what we're looking for and often laws and regulations aim to fix things . . . and make them worse sometimes in some aspects. But in addition to that, there's pressures for people to fill roles that they are not suited to fill because there is a huge amount of economic draw so they need to successfully remove people from the group that are interfering by not being good at it, causing risking making it worse to be worth it. So in a sense there's a pressure to self police at a global scale what's difficult to police even in a 1 to 1 interaction. And it's weird that it actually works at all. It means on a 1 to 1 level we have a shakey but effective system to determine who does what and what's in or out of line socially that is being replicated on a global level, with global level errors.

Take like . . . food labels, unions, and banks. People died and got sick when things were improperly labeled "not full of sawdust." When people found out about it there was outcry and regulations happened. Simply knowing was all that it took to get angry and the anger was effective at creating action. With unions on the other hand, disputes are mediated so that it doesn't turn into a shouting match and stuff can get done by sharing the facts, and just by mutual agreement unions will represent workers and not double cross them by lying a bunch. What? Trust, honor, and integrity are the only things standing in line of that, people say stuff like "if this union doesn't stand by their workers they're not a union" and that's like a fallacy or whatever but it's also decreeing what can be true and acceptable through regulating through social force of will. Laws like these are effective from punishments, sure, but what makes punishments effective is the social will to make it so- and shocking someone from touching a button doesn't really have a lot of social impact, even if you tell them it's the button that shocks them. Similarly, banks are methods to hold a currency's value on mutual agreement of value that's agreed upon by an entire country. Gold is typically used as a metric of value behind the dollar, but why did everyone agree gold was valuable?!?!? There has to be some utilitarian purpose- part of it is that it's rare to find, and effective for some status symbols like jewelry worn by people who can afford to pay for people to do luxury labor for them, as well as the value as a metal that is fairly hypoallergenic and can be used for protecting teeth to all sorts of other functional uses. But there's lots of other things that are similarly valuable that aren't globally seen as important (water for example). It doesn't make sense until I reconsider it in the context of humans being a living organism with social instincts, and gold being a tool and not something essential to survival.

On some level, problematic discourse could be considered in the same vein as an algae bloom or a rock slide or a migratory pattern change.

I think ultimately the answer to why misinformation works effectively to hear out oppressed people is that the facts of the matter are irrelevant to the intention of the interaction. The issue of the matter is Not if trans people can use the restroom, it's to draw the gaze of the entire country on the problems faced by an iiiiitty bitty tiny fraction of the population. Using the most inflammatory language possible, even if it's egregiously wrong, increases the attention- it's why trolls are such a big problem. It would also explain outcry, social change, reactionary behavior, and post reactionary behavior cycles. The outcry is the problem, the social change solves some and creates new ones, the reactionary behavior focuses on the problems, and after the reactionary behavior there's a bunch of chaos until Everyone Has Been Briefed on The Issues. Understanding this through the lens of a social group makes sense- individual birds will nest closer to a sunny spot, and others will follow to maintain the protection of being in a group. Cats will share nursing duties between themselves and raise kittens together. Strip away the complaining and infighting that happens, you can see regulations shifting towards informed consent HRT over time, then backswinging to it being outlawed, to a national conversation and protections from people fleeing the punitive laws. I don't think that California and Massachusetts would have such firm stances if they had not hear the (flawed) reasoning of republicans, or the pleas from trans people, or the very angry middle aged white women campaigning for trans rights with things that don't really make a whole lot of sense but are surprisingly effective. There's a huge push and pull across entire countries that looks like a nice flock of birds in the distance or a swarm of bees shifting course or a bunch of fish dodging a shark, if we didn't have to listen to insults and angry back and forth about it. We stare and wonder at ants making anthills and don't stop to think that it's incredible that we have people build houses that we can live in.

All this to say, I'm really curious about the bird discourse that may or may not be happening in light of this realization. Are there ant taxes? Are there ant fines for ant littering?

#personal #rambles about biology at the internet at 1 a.m.#maybe the problems is not our emotions but that we're being almost too fact based when we need to like #stop theorizing about fanfic ideas and get a food to eat to keep theorizing in peace #political discourse is alright but have we considered keeping folks from punching someone first #perhaps #that for example not making it legal to make new laws with the death penalty attached #^ see I did the cool thing- a statement imparting anger with a very tenuous connection to the truth that signals my support of the in group #(and DOES have some merit but not like the important facts of the matter that people should let people be trans #and that's it that's the main argument)#thereby adding a thing to the list of things to get mad over because they could not even make this incredibly minor concession #to trans rights #anyway join my party I'm team vote democrat but watch political discourse with a kind of morbid fascination #marveling at the wonders of the natural world #(one thing I didn't mention was the direct violence and threats towards trans people- I'm counting them as the problem itself)

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magdaclaire · 2 years

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little pinch

wake up babe new magdaclaire by magdaclaire dropped! find it on ao3!

Magda's fingers are ice fucking cold when she reaches out, grabbing Claire's ear like she's got all the right in the world.

"Did you do these yourself?" she asks, completely impervious to the fact that she's startled Claire something awful, as typical, only interested in the answer to her question. Her question. Right.

"No, I didn't," Claire says flatly, "despite my sparkling reputation, I do actually care about avoiding giving myself gangrene or septicemia if I can help it. I get enough lectures from Alex even without piercing myself at home." It's strange then that Magda's face falls a little, like she wanted Claire to have done them, like she wanted-

"I was hoping you had. I want piercings, I think. But I don't know where to go," the Iowan girl says, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. Claire wants to kiss her, just to clear her mind of the anxiety, just to remind her that there's nothing to worry about as long as Claire's around.

"Well, you've come to the right teen adult degenerate, Mags. I've been scoping out tattoo parlors around here since I moved in, and I know a few good piercers in town," she offers, not knowing if Magda will go for getting holes put in her by a stranger, but wanting to offer her the chance regardless. When they were kids, getting piercings, getting tattoos, changing what they looked like from how God made them, it was a thought you couldn't tell anyone you had, a mark of something else wrong inside of her that would eventually be burnt out in a flash of too bright grace, all of the dark inside her that crawled back in. Magda tugs on her ear and Claire swats her hand away.

"I hardly think you're a degenerate. You'd have to commit worse crimes," Magda states confidently, her smile back to prim honesty. Claire raises an eyebrow.

"I commit credit card fraud, Mags," she reminds her girlfriend, unashamed and actually a little proud. She's actually getting better at it now, picking up more skills on a computer from Kevin and Charlie; she never thought she'd be any good at this kinda thing. Sam taught her the basics- Kevin and Charlie are teaching her the real stuff. She's learning how to only steal from people who won't notice and cover her tracks even when she does, and she's getting good and she's getting fast. Sometimes, it just hits her that this isn't really the kind of skill someone looks for in a partner. In anybody, really. It's the kind of stuff that Randy and Dustin woulda loved for her to be able to do. Magda just shrugs.

"I don't really think that counts. It's a money crime, right? Money isn't real," she says. Her sense of morals always sends Claire for a loop- she'll always take whatever it is that Claire's been stewing on for a month, think about it for one good second, and decide it's not a problem. No shades of gray with a girl like her. It's the most reassuring thing that Claire has ever come across. Magda never thinks that what she's doing is gray or glory, never thinks of Claire as anything less than herself. She's an impossible girl not to fall in love with, or at the very least, she makes it very hard.

"You're ridiculous. What do you want pierced anyway?" Claire asks, and Magda brightens up, both her hands flying up to her face. One of them comes back down to rest near her waist, brought up just because she was excited, but the other has her forefinger and her thumb clasped around the bridge of her nose, right between her eyes. God, she's gonna look so hot it's unfair. Nothing but an absolute win. "You want a bridge piercing, babe?"

"If that's what it's called, yes. I've seen some pictures of girls with them on the instagram Alex re-set up for me, and... it's so pretty. They're so pretty, Claire," Magda had been scared to reactivate her social media from before her mother locked her away- scared that she would come across old friends with questions she should be able to answer, scared that Elijah's friends would have questions she wouldn't be ready or able to answer, and so Alex had come up with the idea to make her new accounts. Claire just has to pretend that it doesn't make her feel like she's losing her mind every time she sees her girlfriend scrolling instagram with the screen name Magda Novak because her own name was too searchable, and Claire's was just up for grabs (for Magda, anyway).

"You looking at pretty girls without me, babe?" she asks, knowing it'll make Magda smile like that, but she's surprised when Magda climbs into her lap; it always seems like Claire is the one swinging her hips over Magda's, so the reverse is new, but welcome. She sees why Mags finds the weight so reassuring, knowing that she's there. Claire lays her hands on Magda's waist.

"Are you jealous?" Magda asks, her arms around Claire's shoulders and their noses brushing. She's so close and so pretty Claire feels both awash by it and set ablaze, overwhelmed and on fire, exactly where she should be.

"You can always look, Mags. I know you're coming home with me," she whispers, her breath warm between her and Magda's lips, and Magda kisses her like it would kill her not to. Magda's hand slides into her hair and Claire loves the feel of it, the gentle touch, even as much as she and Magda have touched since they got together, she still loves it. She slips her fingers up the back of Magda's shirt, tucked against the warmth of skin, reveling in this kiss that isn't quite yet passionate, but still has heat, is still something. All her life to be something here.

"Claire," Magda says, her voice in that rasp that makes Claire feel like she'd do anything Magda asked of her, but she pulls away instead, tightening her grip on Magda's waist.

"You wanna go get a piercing today, Mags? Because contrary to the popular, most tattoo parlors don't actually stay open all hours all the way out here," she makes herself remind the other girl; even if she might be content to stay in with Magda all evening, close their curtains and dance to some old album that reminds her of a childhood neither of them ever got to have, she'd never deny Magda the opportunity of the night. Too many nights had been taken from her. Even if they have the rest of their lives. Magda gives her a pout but kisses her just once before climbing out of her lap, standing and offering Claire her hand.

"You'll drive me?"

Magda never learned how to drive. Sam can only come around so often to teach her how, but getting into a car with a mother figure still makes her so anxious that it's all Magda can do not to curl into a ball, so nobody's trying to force her into a driver's seat like that. Claire had offered to teach her herself, even if it's only been a year since she had officially learned, but nobody had really been willing to go for that. 'Cept Magda. But Mags is like that. Always betting on losing dogs.

"Of course. What else am I doing?" Claire asks, grinning up at Magda. They leave for the parlor in short order, Claire grabbing both of them socks from their shared sock basket and throwing a pair at Magda and laughing when the other girl startles enough to stop the socks midair. Magda has come really far in her ability to use her abilities, and the idea that she's willing to use them out here in the public of the hallway, every bedroom door in the house wide open, makes Claire feel oddly proud. It's not her accomplishment, but that's her girlfriend. Doing magic and shit. Not even having anxiety attacks about it every time anymore.

They let Jody know where they're going before they leave. It's only polite. She always lets them know where she's going too. Donna's out on a hunt, or they would have let her know too.

It's weird to have somebody to let know where she's going. It's weird that somebody cares enough to know.

"You wanna get dinner after?" Claire asks as she reverses out of the driveway, her arm around the back of Magda's seat as she turns all the way around. Her Daddy had never used the rear view mirror when she was a little girl- always told her that his neck still worked, and if he turned around, he could look at her. Then, he'd tweak her nose. It always made her laugh, every single time. Even if her Daddy didn't get to teach her how to drive, she had learned that one from him. She's still her Daddy's girl in some ways.

"Can I decide after? I don't know how much it will hurt," Magda says, breaking Claire out of her head just as she moves the car back into gear. She nods her head; she doesn't really care if they get dinner, and she won't want to if Magda's face hurts, because honestly, that'd be pretty rude, probably. Not that she has the greatest grasp on social convention anymore- Dean and Donna both are trying to break her of it one tailgating party at a time, no booze given the children and recovering alcoholics, but everyone is expected to act a fool anyway- but she tries to be a good girlfriend. For Magda, you know? Magda deserves good things. She deserves to be taken care of. Or whatever.

The tattoo parlor Claire picked out in her head for Magda is in a good neighborhood, familiar because it's not far from where Jody grocery shops most the time, and Claire isn't scared to take Magda here because of it. As powerful as Magda is, and as much as Claire knows that there's not much that Claire could protect her from that Magda couldn't take care of herself, she can't help it. She just needs her to be safe. There are only three cars in the front of the lot when they pull in.

When Claire pushes open the door, holding it open for Magda, someone with dark skin and several facial piercings is sitting behind the counter. She has a she/her pin on her jacket and a tattoo crawling up her neck, and she might be one of the coolest people that Claire has ever seen, just off the bat. She puts her nerves in the bottom of her stomach and reminds herself that this is for Magda, which means she can't really afford to be nervous. What Magda wants, Magda's gonna get. Claire clears her throat.

"Do y'all have any room open for a piercing today? And, if not, can we schedule one?"

"I don't have any more appointments this evening, so what are we looking to get pierced?" their attendant asks, shuffling a few papers before she sets them down.

"My- Claire said it's called a bridge piercing? Right here," Magda says, holding her fingers pinched on the bridge of her nose again. Claire hides her smile behind her hand. Her girlfriend is cute, okay? She's fucking cute. The girl behind the counter nods.

"A bridge piercing for your first one? That's badass. I'm Delilah, by the way. You two can follow me back here, assuming you're cool with your friend following us back?"

"She's my girlfriend. And yes, she can come," Magda says, grabbing Claire's hand as if Claire was going to walk away. Instead, Claire is just pink faced and warm, never used to the way that Magda will just say things once she's taken the sting out of them, and she wants so badly to be like that. It's not even a matter of pride for Magda, she doesn't think. Just a matter of what is.

"Cool, cool. You two are cute together, you know? Opinion of a stranger and all of that, but it's nice to see another queer couple out here," Delilah says, and Claire just barely stops herself from pausing in the middle of the walkway.

"You're queer?" she asks, the question just falling out of her mouth. Delilah grins.

"Yeah, the shop-owner is my fiancee, actually- wanna see a picture? I just got a cute one of her and our dog!"

"You have a dog?" Magda asks excitedly, already pushing closer so that she can see. Where Claire is desirous of that queer connection, of finding people like them, it doesn't seem to bother Magda as much. She doesn't seem to feel that same felled yearning. Claire admires that about her. Delilah pulls out her phone and unlocks it, showing Magda and less so Claire her home screen, a picture of a woman with a wide nose and beautiful eyes half bowled over by a husky, holding it in her lap like precious cargo. It's not like Claire ever needs a reminder that she likes girls. Magda is around all the time, and girls are everywhere. But a happy girl with a dog? Her chest aches. Magda is looking at her with big eyes.

"Why don't we worry about your piercing, and then we can talk about a dog?" Claire offers. Delilah laughs, but Claire already knows she's one talk with Jody away from getting a dog. As soon as Magda expresses a want for most anything, all of them are tripping over themselves to get it for her. And who wouldn't? Magda Peterson had been denied enough of the simple pleasures of life, and Claire can't imagine a simpler pleasure than a dog.

She's gonna end up doing half of the taking care of the thing, but well, why not? For Magda, anyway. They arrive at an alcove covered in tattoo art, all signed with Delilah's name. She must also be a tattoo artist. When Claire gets her first tattoo, she may come back here.

"Alright, so your bridge is a soft tissue, skin piercing, not a cartilage piercing, so you're going to feel a little pinch and not much else at first; a lot of the pain is going to be in the upkeep. When you're cleaning it, you don't want to move it around that much, but you do want to be thorough. If it's feeling crusty, try another salt water rinse, which you should do twice a day. We're also going to get you a piercing care packet, so if you have any questions, they're usually answered in there, or you can message me on the Instagram on my card, which I will also be giving you with the packet. That all sound okay?" Delilah asks, pausing in her spiel to check on Magda.

Magda stares at her for a few seconds longer than she's talking, but after the flow of it finishes processing, nods her head.

"That sounds alright," she confirms allowed, nodding again. Delilah smiles.

"Okay, I'm gonna prepare my needle deck, you two talk amongst yourselves and fill this out, I'll be back in a jiffy," she says, giving them finger guns and a clipboard before disappearing into a curtained off little part of the alcove, probably less than ten feet from the two of them the entire time, but it's the intention that counts. Instead of speaking, Magda climbs onto the pseudo-stretcher they always have ready for you at tattoo parlors and kicks her feet. Claire stands next to her, the swish of Magda's ankles hitting her in the knee, but at a gentle impact she doesn't mind. Magda leans her head against Claire's shoulder, tongue stuck out as she signs her name.

"Thank you," Mags whispers after, her breath of a voice nearly enough to make Claire shudder. Instead, she grabs Magda's hand.

"You never have to thank me," she says, and she squeezes Magda's fingers. Delilah comes back from behind the curtain and Claire removes herself from the action, though she still remains attached to Magda by the hand.

"Alright, let's do this thing! Little pinch, alright?" Delilah repeats, and when Magda nods, she comes closer with the needle kit out and on a tray, rolling. It looks a little bit like the rolling caddies that they have at Alex's nurses' station, except that it's a cold, gray metal rather than the usual pink, blue or green pastel in the hospital halls. Magda sits a little straighter.

"Let's do this," she says to herself quietly, and Claire fights off the smile that comes to hear it. She's just cute. Delilah comes to stand in front of Magda, and so Claire moves off a little bit. Magda keeps their hands linked.

"Alright, I'm gonna get right in here. This is the needle, and it's just gonna be a quick through, and then I'll put the jewelry in, and my part is over. You ready?" Delilah asks, and Magda nods. "Okay, three, two-" In the silence between one second and the next, Delilah punches the needle through the skin, following the action so quickly with the jewelry that Claire is barely following her. She's got faster hands than Claire's piercer had, but it's also facial jewelry. God, she should think about facial jewelry. It's so fucking cool. Her girlfriend is so fucking cool.

"Oh," Magda says, needle still between her eyes as the jewelry is thread through it, the clamp only released after the second ball has been screwed on. "That didn't hurt nearly so bad as I thought it would. We can go to dinner, I think."

"You got a hell of a pain tolerance on you. I'll get you that care packet, as well as my card, and when you're ready, you can come up to the desk to settle this up," Delilah instructs. Magda nods, and Delilah goes ahead and heads up to the front. Claire tries not to think about why her girlfriend has such a high pain tolerance.

"I'm fine, you know," Mags says, and Claire's eyes are drawn to her face, her eyes sparkling on either side of her new, badass piercing. Claire squeezes her hand.

"I just worry about you sometimes. Finish filling out the date on your paper and let's bring it up to Delilah. Alright?" Magda nods, writing down the date on the line and hopping off of the stretcher, using Claire's hand to catch herself. She pulls Claire's hand then up to her mouth, kissing the back of it.

"Thank you," she says again, and Claire's gotta be bright red by now.

"Get out of here," she says, turning Magda around and pushing her down the hall.

She loves her. God, she loves her.

#magdaclaire #clairemagda #claire novak #magda peterson #contentnatural #sapphicnatural #spn #mine

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