#anyways this is a joke. do not think about it too hard bc also if u do it gets very bleak and depressing very fast lol

[toxictigertonic]

HIII i absolutely adore your outlast trials headcanons, they're so silly and accurate .. if u don't mind, could you maybe do one of the prime assets going to the movie theater? that'd be so funny

Took a little break to give my brain more time to soak in the outlast bathtub, but I'm back with more silly.

COYLE

- He wouldn't take his sunglasses off for the movie I'm saying this right now. It could be a 3D movie and he'd just put the glasses over top of his own.

- Kinda guy to get a hotdog at the movies instead of just popcorn. Then he complains about the price to the underage cashier.

- He likes to watch cop and action movies, imagines himself being the protagonist through the whole movie. He wishes he was that cool.

- Leaves popcorn on the floor and his empty cup in the cup holder because "it's their job to clean it up".

- Would try to steal snacks that Gooseberry brought in. She was gonna share them anyway but if he's gonna be like that he can starve.

- Shushes anybody who even breathes too loud when the movie is going. He is Locked In and if you distract him he's going to kick your ass.

- Due to being this locked in, he will hold his piss for however long the movie is. He's not missing a second of this, he'll piss himself if he has to.

- Does not care what seat he actually bought, he's gonna sit where he likes and you're gonna deal with it. Dick.

- Would try to smoke a cigarette inside of the theater and have to be escorted out. Would not go quietly.

- Does not stay to see if there's anything after the credits, misses out every time. It's not that he doesn't know, he doesn't believe that there's actually anything to see.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Brings a purse full of snacks with her. She is unwilling to spend 20 dollars on a little bit of candy. Still gets popcorn though, nobody can resist movie theater popcorn.

- Futterman wants to watch gorey horror movies while she wants to watch romcoms or just comedies in general.

- Futterman will complain through the whole movie if he's forced to watch a romcom. And he's loud about it too, the other movie goers would complain, but... that goose is scary.

- If he got his wish and they're watching a horror movie, he's cheering when characters die. Fuck the protagonists he's here for BLOOD.

- Futterman also complains about her snack choices. Candy? SUGAR? Think of the cavities, Phyllis!!

- She doesn't talk during movies but she is the one softly gasping whenever something like a plot twist happens.

- Futterman is face down in the popcorn bucket just munching away. He's gonna need a bath (read: get dunked in the sink) when they get home.

- Futterman would crack shitty jokes during quiet parts. Don't laugh it'll only encourage him to do it again.

- Phyllis is also a "hold it until the movie is over" kinda person but only because Futterman throws a fit if he misses out on parts. That's if they're watching a horror movie, if it's a romcom he's begging her to leave lol.

- Refills her popcorn before she leaves and brings it home with her.

FRANCO

- He actually can't eat popcorn bc the kernels get stuck in his teeth and it's uncomfortable :(

- Instead of eating popcorn, he's scarfing down candy. He strikes me as a gummy kind of guy.

- Gooseberry is actively rushing him past the snacks and candy bc he WILL try to buy 8 different kinds of candy and end up spending 60 dollars. He has the money but he does NOT need to experience a sugar rush halfway through a movie.

- He'd also go for horror movies, but also mafia/mob movies. Would shout at the screen about inaccuracies.

- Out of all of the assets, he's the one talking during the movie. He has a hard time sitting still and he's not completely paying attention and he wants Gooseberry to tell him what he missed. Coyle is shushing him the whole time.

- Despite being the one that keeps yapping, he'll kick the back of someone else's seat if he thinks they're talking too loud.

- Also leaves a mess of candy wrappers and spilled drinks, just like Coyle. He just doesn't care tbh.

- Gets up 9 separate times to use the bathroom, has to step in front of Coyle each time to get out of the row. They're gonna kill each other after the movie.

- If somebody else tries to step over his legs to get out of the row, he'd trip them. The menace.

- Gooseberry is clapping her hand over his eyes if there's any nudity and he is FIGHTING to move her hand away. Let him see!!

I would watch a movie with Phyllis and only Phyllis everyone else can wait in the car (sorry Franco)

[star-girl69]

game day hcs 🎀

jesse compher x fem!reader

—-

a/n: do you guys like my aesthetic bow

yes i know that me and jesse compher anon are the only people who want this but GUYS you just don’t get it. you should get it. GET IT. anyways i do what i want y’all can deal with it

warnings: not proofread, swearing, lots of me yapping, i think that’s it tho

i cant think of an intro we’re just jumping straight in enjoy

she gets a pretty normal amount of nervous on game days, as to be expected, but her only coping strategy is distracting herself

so you probably won’t get a moment alone

if you’re not living together, she absolutely LOVES when you sleep over the night before a game literally for no reason other than she wants to spend an obsessive amount of time with you

the type to constantly joke about handcuffing you to her (she’s kinda serious)

she’s normally a pretty big cuddler but on the nights before game days she turns into something else oml….

like literally on top of you, you can’t breathe, absolutely passed out having the best sleep of her life with her face just like uncomfortably pressed up against you like girl back UP

normally if you spend the night (or if y’all are living together) then when she has to wake up early she doesn’t wake you, although it’s very hard to leave you, she just ends up tucking you back in and going about her day

expect a very cute good morning text tho

on game days? no that goes out the window

she’s up? you’re up too!!

she needs to be distracted at all times and her favorite distraction is…. you guessed it….. YOU!!!!

she is ofc literally attached to you while you get ready, helping you pick out an outfit, will sit in your lap while you do your makeup even if you try to push her off of you bc you literally can’t see the mirror??

and we all know hockey players definitely are not superstitious no ofc not (this is sarcasm if you can’t tell)

she pretends that her kissing ROUTINE w you is not a superstition

“it’s just an excuse to kiss you babe!!!”

girl tell that to the whole specific ass routine you have be fr…..

she has to kiss you on your left cheek, then right, then your forehead and then YOU have to kiss HER on the lips

YOU have to be the on to initiate it or else she simply must start all over

and also it can’t just bc a peck no it has to last for like 3 seconds at LEAST (can’t go past like 5 tho bc she would get distracted…)

during the game she’s pretty locked in we love a focused queen

but if you’re sitting in like the first row she definitely spends a lot of time looking at you during warmups

“compher!!!! stop looking at the stands!!!!”

totally gets teased by her teammates and wants to melt into a puddle </3

also loves knowing that you’re wearing HER jersey with HER name on it and HER number……

“hey do you wanna just skip this game and go sit with y/n since YOU CANT STOP LOOKING AT HER????”

if she scores a goal or an assist she TRIES to point towards you in the stands as a way of like dedicating it to you

which is very sweet

but half the time she doesn’t know where you’re sitting so she just points in a random direction and hopes for the best

if it’s an away game, or you just couldn’t make it to a home game, she points at the camera instead

also gets teased for this, obviously

but this is a hill she’s willing to die on she will POINT

…even if it’s nowhere near you.

no matter if it’s a win or a loss, she LOVES when you take care of her after a game

literally cheesing, sitting on the couch under a blanket, watching a show while you bring her whatever dinner she requested

says thank you in a sing-song voice and ignores the fact you’re jokingly glaring at her

asked you to rub her feet ONCE and you gave her such a dirty look that she never asked again TRUST

will ask you to scratch her back, run your fingers through her hair, and massage her legs though

anyways, if she’s lost a game she’s definitely a little tense

but she just kinda shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about it

if she made a mistake then she knows she’ll just have to work on it during practice

but if she thinks the refs were unfair or something then she’s yelling at the wall or something pacing around while you sit there nodding like

“I MEAN ARE YOU SERIOUS??? THAT WAS A PENALTY. DO YOU HAVE EYES? DO. YOU. HAVE. FUCKING. EYES.”

“yes tell them baby!”

if you don’t know a lot about hockey or even if you do, she likes it when you ask her questions about certain plays during the game or whatever

loves feeling knowledgeable in front of you

and ofc…. literally DIES when you compliment her

“i really liked that thing you did today”

*she’s literally shaking* “yeah? what?”

“i don’t know what it’s called but you hit the puck really hard and then emma got the rebound”

“you mean… a slap shot..?”

“uhh…. i think so? idk, anyways, you played really good today”

“thanks babe”

she acts like she’s so nonchalant but really she’s about to giggle and kick her feet

but anyways back to my original point good lord

after a loss she’s tense yk but again she’s not like overly mad at herself or anything she knows that she’s still learning and even the best players make mistakes

she’s just like whatever i have to work on it

so she doesn’t really need to talk about it she kinda just wants to ignore it or else it will run through her head over and over again

but sometimes the pressure does get to her and she does need to vent like anyone

really after a loss she just wants to be with you

she literally never falls asleep first so most of the time she’s just laying with you while you’re asleep scrolling on her phone until she finally gets tired

and ofc now the narrative is completely flipped she wants YOU to be like fully on top of her LOL

calls you her second blanket

as if you aren’t one too bffr….

anyways after a win

if the team is having some sort of party or smth after the game she’ll usually go to that for a bit, but she’s honestly TIRED and wants to go home and go to BED

and you actually aren’t allowed to go to the team parties bc you came ONCE and then jesse just spent the entire time in the corner w you even though you were trying to tell her to be SOCIAL and go like TALK to her teammates

she just wants to see you and celebrate with you not that she doesn’t love her team she just loves you a little bit more

when she does finally get home to you, she eats and watches some tv to relax but then she’s always extra tired after winning for some reason so she usually just goes to bed and takes you with her

although after a win shes actually lying and she’s not that tired but like… she won!! she just needs a little time in bed with her girlfriend who she loves very much so she can climb on top of you and kiss the absolute living daylights out of you!!!! how sweet!!

and if you’re still wearing her jersey in all of this she’s actually going crazy a bit bc it’s the hottest thing she’s ever seen in her life

and then if you don’t live together, after a win or loss she’s calling you as soon as she gets to bed, listening to the sound of your voice while she falls asleep hugging her pillow and thinking of you 💔

[altruistic-meme]

if you could... describe aftg in 5 words

oh this is not as easy a question to answer as it should be akfhsdkf bc like. i could describe its plot, or my thoughts on it as a fan, or how it makes me feel, or just make a joke, or or or and bc idk why you're asking it makes it harder :'))

but let's see...

plot: gay sports mafia found family.

fan: drama, familiarity, trauma, comedy, home

feelings: love, understanding, chaos, joy, comfort

joke: you know, i get it-

(as you can see, i couldn't pick which one to go with, so choose whichever 5 words you want lmao)

[brainrotzora]

these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////

anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice

didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw

[red-dyed-sarumane]

love to submit my fave songs to vocaloid tournaments & watch them get decimated

[shopcat]

i am the only one who even cares like as in about whatever it is i'm talking about IM SICK LET ME BE SICK anyway... basically everybody difference i'll put the sick stream of consciousness in the tags this time

[yay-depression]

thinking unhappy thoughts at 1 am except these can’t even be categorized into the “no feelings past 4pm in winter are real” bc it wasn’t inherently a negative thought it was a positive thought which upon saying aloud sounded really fucking sad

[wethecelestial]

just saw someone point out how weird it is that the statue of the elf and the dog in lindon in trop (who i assumed was luthien bc like...who else) has a star of feanor on its chest

which like. i mean obviously the star is there bc somebody just didn't think this through beyond "oh this looks cool." BUT i think it is very funny to imagine that in the trop parallel universe, instead of becoming cautionary tales about hubris and ghost stories that parents use to scare their children into behaving, the feanorians have just become like. completely divorced from their political and historical motivations and the devastating consequences of their actions on people's actual lives and are instead now just like: Thee Fashionable Aesthetic. fashion designers sticking an eight-pointed star on everything to show that they're EDGY and PROVOCATIVE and NOT LIKE OTHER ELVES. showing up to elf school with the star of feanor on your shirt is the equivalent of that one kid in high school who always wore a che guevara shirt to class and told your teacher that they didn't do the homework because They Aren't Gonna Be Part Of The System, Man,

[minakoaiinos]

Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi

[saetoru]

Tee…

I’m now on my hands and knees BEGGING for bully Gojo who is (secretly) DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE over the reader PLEASE ANY CRUMBS I WILL TAKE

(you don’t actually have to write this it was just a nice thought)

idkkkkk if it’s rly bully gojo—but he’s definitely a real cunt for sure.

i just think about an asshole! gojo a lot like he’s ur lab partners or something and he does that stereotypical jerk move where he’s like “seriously ?? her ??” when he’s first paired with you. and he’s just naturally an douche, yk ?? wears sunglasses indoors and makes jokes at the professors expense under his breath that gets him snickers and snorts from his frat guys in his class. has to be asked more than once to “please keep it down in the middle of class” by wtv prof he’s in class with.

and he ofc makes u do all the work bc he can’t be bothered—and on the rare occasion that he is bothered, he just does a poor job that’s the bare minimum and sloppy enough that ur like wtv i’ll just do it myself. and then ofc sometimes u don’t have a choice but to meet up to finish something after class every now and then—he wouldn’t care to, but he actually needs to know the stuff for the final report he has to write individually, so he begrudgingly meets up with you, and sometimes you notice his friends give you an amused look when he walks up with them. they snicker before they leave as he sits with you. sometimes they make a snide comment here and there like “have fun with ur super hot date” that makes him roll his eyes—he doesn’t do much to hide the look of distaste on his face.

but then—and he doesn’t even know when it happens—you start to slowly grow on him. because ur actually pretty snarky urself, sometimes making a dry comment here and there about the professor and his stupid bald headed self. sometimes a girl in the distance laughs too hard a group of guys that u roll ur eyes and mumble how “if i had a voice like that i’d never laugh in public” and it makes him snort a bit without meaning to. sometimes you stare daggers at the person who has their music so loud thru their headphones they can’t help but notice u and turn it down in embarrassment. ur actually not as much of a pushover as he thought—you just genuinely think he’s too incapable to help u out that you’ve just shrugged him off and started doing his part. it’s an easy weekly lab class anyway, you don’t need him—and then he realizes that u rly just don’t care for him. his little snickers at u with his friends and their snide comments roll off ur back bc well…he’s him—an asshole little frat boy and u didn’t expect anything better from him. so it makes him a little intrigued—maybe a little wounded in his pride, deep down, because no one has ever been indifferent to him before. they’re either madly in love, or they hate his guts, or they follow his lead. either works—he still gets the attention he craves.

but u just don’t rly care. and ur actually pretty cool, and kinda sorta funny in a way no one else is. he likes it…and fuck, now he’s starting to like you. he can tell bc when his friends ask how his little date with you went, he starts getting a bit huffy ab it bc they don’t need to talk about you. they don’t even know you…but also….its not a date. and that’s the worst part. sometimes it feels like a date. almost—sometimes you both decide to take a break in between and go get a coffee or a light snack. sometimes he’s even paid (to which you look mildly shocked before politely thanking him) and you both walk back to the library while u make light banter and it’s…well, fun. and nice. and your laugh is pretty. and your smile is kinda cute and he (though he hates to admit it) rly likes it when u laugh because of him.

and then things start to get messy—really, he didn’t mean for it to start this way. he really was meaning to ask you in a genuine manner to see u again once the semester was finished. because he’s actually started pulling his weight—he wants u to see him for someone who’s smart. satoru is actually rly rly smart and no one knows it because he doesn’t rly show it but he is. he wants u to see that side of him—somehow there’s some sick validation he rly needs from you knowing he’s not a dense frat guy who drinks and fucks until 3 am every night. so he starts doing his parts and actually communicates with u about sections. so starts ur texting routine—sometimes a little longer than u rly need to for just doing a lab together. sometimes it’s “did u hear ab that girl in our class getting dumped in front of the kfc ??” and sometimes it’s “god our prof rly needs to get some pussy” and other times it’s “look what the guy who sits behind us just posted on his story” and it leads to a few long convos that admittedly…are rly fun. ur so fun. he likes it. he rly does like u and he thinks maybe….maybe he’s grown on u too and you know what ?? satoru’s always a jerk but ur nice and who’s to say he can’t be nice too ?? just for one person. for u, he can be a nice guy—u carried lab all on ur own long enough that u deserve it anyway.

until he gets swayed in that way only a coward can. in that way you do when ur used to being “the man” around ur friends and ur too pressured to keep up that energy for appearances sake bc u don’t wanna be the laughing stock who softened up for “some nerdy chick who’s a nobody.” so he laughs when they laugh at the fact that ur probably “still a virgin who’s never touched a guy before” and then they’re patting gojo on the back and shoving at his shoulder as they laugh harder and suggest that “y’know what would be so funny man ?? if u took her virginity. you could probably do it.”

the thought is sickening because…satoru wouldn’t want to fuck you like that. god, you have him caring about when and how he fucks you—in fact, just thinking about you lewdly makes him feel guilty. disrespectful, even. you’re more than a fleshlight for his dick. since when did he become so respectful ?? but he doesn’t know how to say no, especially when everyone starts agreeing one after the other—and oh no, now they’re betting on how quickly he can do it….and oh, now it’s not just fucking. now it’s “how long until you think she’s head over heels for you? man, that would be a sight, huh ??”

and….well, satoru decides it couldn’t hurt, right ?? he does want to be romantically involved so that would include you being head over heels. hopefully. fingers crossed. and he doesn’t rly want to seem lame in front of the guys either, so he gets to keep both sides of the coin, so is it really that bad ?? maybe not the right idea but certainly the right execution. he’ll treat you well—that much he’s confident of. so he forces out a laugh and says “gimme a month or two, you’ll see.”

and a month or two they give him. and a month or two it takes—but not for you to be head over heels. it’s him who’s utterly and completely obsessed and fallen head first and whatever else they say to describe love because wow. this must be what it is. this must be that stupid fairytale shit they always talk about because fuck, no one has ever looked at him like that. like he’s some miracle to this earth and some wonder only you know of—like you hope it stays that way and that he’s yours and yours alone and no one else comes in to take him away. satoru really likes being yours, it kinda feels better than you being his. being yours means you hold him like that at night and wake him up to a kiss between his brows and sometimes, when he gets those migraines he’s prone to getting, you always seem to know. always seem to understand when to close the blinds and keep quiet and wrap him up in the covers as you rub your thumbs over his temples soothingly.

he almost forgets about that silly little bet he made two months ago when he’s around you. actually, he forgets everything when he’s around you. he’s only ever thinking about you, you, you. when he comes back to his frat house, on the other hand, they’re all gathered around waiting for the newest details. how you must’ve been so pathetically star struck by him. how you must be embarrassingly bad at kissing. how you must stutter over every other word around him. how you must be making a complete and utter fool of urself trying to impress him and be someone you’re not bc the real you would never pique his interest.

they’re wrong ofc. if anyone’s star struck, it’s satoru bc how the hell are u so…cool ?? and so funny and witty and carefree ?? and you’re good at kissing—have him chasing your lips with a whine every time. sometimes you even chuckle at him when he does and make him blush a bit. he’s the one who stutters over his words when he sees you in your little date night outfits. sometimes he watches you drink from your straw and his brain short circuits a little until you snap at him and ask him in confusion if he’s alright. but the real kicker ?? it’s that if anyone’s pretending, it’s satoru. you’re always just you—unapologetically so, that it’s endearing and beautiful and so unearthly he wonders how he got so lucky. but him ?? he’s always acting like some guy he’s not. some chivalrous guy who opens doors and pushes out seats and kisses the back of hands and waits at least a few dates before even considering fucking. some nice, sweet, genuine guy who’s deserving.

he’s not that—never was. if you knew the real him, you’d leave in a heartbeat. it’s a scary thought. a raw feeling he doesn’t like. makes him feel all self conscious and insecure and all that weird shit he never thought he’d feel.

he tries. so hard, he tries to make them forget about that silly little bet and just slowly drop it and maybe even forget ur dating so he can just stay living this peaceful little fantasy with you—but that’s stupid. that’s naive. it’s been 4 months and enough is enough—the guys need to see the look on ur face when u realize what a fool ur being and satoru is “being a lazy ass who’s too comfortable not having for work for pussy these days.” so then there’s a video going around. it’s everyone gathered around on the couch drunk and talking about you. and satoru. you both, in fact. how it’s been two months and u seem desperate for his attention with the shrill little voice you use to call him toru, baby! it’s so, so fucking embarrassing, they say. how you think he likes it. (he does. god he does so much, it hurts. he loves it, actually, when you call him that. makes him feel special in a way he never has.) but then, the worst, most disgustingly nauseous part of the whole thing is when satoru laughs along and plays into their awful words. just lets them talk about you like you’re some piece of meat. something for him to chew up and spit out after he has a taste or you. not even worth savoring and enjoying. he laughs along and agrees—you’re nothing special and he can’t wait until he’s free of you.

that part hurts. that part sucks the most—when he acts like he didn’t tremble under your touch every time you kissed him. like he didn’t beg you to stay just five more minutes! before walking out the door to go home. he acts one way in front of you and one way in front of them and what’s worse ?? you don’t know which one is real. couldn’t tell even if your life was on the line to decide. because there’s no way he’s that good at pretending to be desperately in love, no fucking way. but there’s also no way he can be in love if he’s talking about you like that. that’s not what love is—that’s not what love feels like. that’s not what it means to someone.

you don’t know which satoru is the real one, but you know that neither is worth your time. not if he can’t stick to it.

it’s terrible thing—the way you break up. it’s messy and teary and he’s begging, he’s actually begging. he never thought he’d do that. but he doesn’t even hesitate to plead for you to hear him out. baby, please let me explain. wait, please don’t walk away—please just listen! i can explain.

he can’t explain, though when you as him to. stands there with a bitten bottom lip and teary eyes that are pleading you to just stay with him. to overlook this and just … ignore it like it’s nothing. like what he did and said was just nothing and you can shrug it off like you’re nothing too. like your feelings are nothing and so is your worth and that’s why you should just ignore the way he absolutely destroyed your pride and reputation and dignity and worse….every ounce of your love.

such deep, raw, pure love—it’s almost enough to heal every dry crack and crevice of this earth and bring it back to life.

you look at him with teary eyes and something so broken, it makes him feel like dirt beneath your feet.

“it’s embarrassing, satoru,” you hiss that night through tears, “you’re in your twenties getting a degree and you’re still just a high school bully. life’s really gonna kick you in the ass some day.”

life’s already kicking him in the ass as soon as you walk out. the air is colder. the world is dimmer. food doesn’t taste as good and fuck—there is just so much loneliness when you have no one to be yourself with. when there’s no you.

but he supposes you’re right though—he is just a bully. it’s pathetic, really. and maybe it’s for the best. maybe you don’t deserve someone who’s only ever known how to feel good because someone else doesn’t.

[garykingz]

girl I like your take (“Charles has a crush on Max but it’s completely different to Max having crush on Charles). Explore pls!!!!

Omg, nonnie, I could go ON about how different yet the same these two are with each other. Body language is absolutely everything with Max and Charles, though I'm sure everyone knows this. Max's yapping isn't everything.

Honestly, I genuinely believe with my heart of hearts that Max has an actual crush on Charles, there is, and it sounds like a joke but I'm being serious, no heterosexual reason for him to act the way he does around him. (This is coming from an aromantic, so it's not like I'm seeing something that's not there.)

I've made a post before about how I think some of these guys are not straight but bc of how F1 is built on dodgy sponsors(BIG MONEY) and can't forget the corrupt FIA, they can't just say it. That's a whole other can of worms I won't get into rn tho.

Anyway – the way I see is that Charles absolutely, without an ounce of doubt, knows Max has a crush on him. Like the OP mentioned in their post, how Charles' Christmas gift to Max was the F1 game with all of Charles' face on it, with the tag "for my biggest fan." Yeah, he knows. And he encourages it.

And not to say Charles doesn't crush as hard on Max as Max does on him, Charles absolutely does. He just tries to be nonchalant about it. But his giggles fail him every time Max opens his mouth.

I think the joint Vegas interview is a good example of this. Charles tries to be serious with Max but Max is clearly doing his damnest to make Charles laugh, which obviously, Charles does. Once again, the way Charles looks at Max in this, he knows Max is trying to make him laugh too. (Max also literally quoted Charles' joke from an interview that he wasn't even in, meaning Max WATCHED it in his own time.)

THIS ONE REALLY GETS ME, MAN. Max and Charles look at each other, Max lingers longer on him and Charles ???? Starts touching himself ???? Like he still thinks Max is looking at him??????? Max looks off to a screen that's on them AND LOOKS AT CHARLES AGAIN BC HES ACTING THAT WAY?? WEIRDOS.

Charles wants to be nonchalant and chill so bad but he's not slick. He's just as down bad as Max is and thinks we don't see it.

(GIFs belong to @pretzelgotze)

Or when Charles stopped mid interview to go speak with Max.

Or Charles, not getting podium at all, yet running for his life, leaving his radio on for Xavi to still ask if he's there, the car empty, because he wanted to be the first one to congratulate Max on his WDC in Qatar last year.

Or Charles ditching his little jeep for him and him alone to go and sit with Max, even though the car is NOT made for two people, he sits in it anyway and they both get driven away as they wave at the cameras. It's giving just married.

This is long as hell now, apologies, told ya I'd ramble LMAO

Anyway, conclusion: Charles tries to hide the fact that he has a crush on Max but his body language and giggling fails him every single time.

Extra conclusion: not to be taken TOO seriously but they are in fact my ken dolls that I make kiss

[lubrumalis]

ghost headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw, spoilers, dead dove do not eat

a lot of these are based off of my personal understanding of him

part 2 —> character analysis of ghost

general:

didn’t go back to manchester after his family died, too many foul memories—a lot of friends will probably know him as a murderer (comic reference, ghost was accused of killing his family in the newspaper)

has a fit body. a lot of people like to hc him as big and bulky, i think otherwise! its actually a huge disadvantage to be bulky in size as a soldier (logistics while fighting yk). most SAS soldiers are trained for endurance and fitness, i think he has a moreso lean body

hes not cold and ruthless, wouldn’t say hes a big softie either.

VERYYYY punctual. always on time

will not abuse or rape anyone. this guys been through atrocities, he would never do it to someone else

won’t hire a prostitute, ever.

honestly, hes just another dude in the military. he loves dad jokes and bourbon😭

ghost doesn’t think hes mean or tries to be, he simply is intimidating because of his size and way of talking

he likes watching soccer in his free time

gets internally offended if someone thinks hes from london (anywhere but Manchester)

very dark humoured. tell him any dark joke and he wouldn’t care

loves tea

listens to older british bands, like the smiths

cannot understand modern slang at all. what does ‘iykyk’ and ‘rizzler’ mean???

texts like a typical millennial. uses ‘😂’ and ‘😜’ unironically. types with proper grammar and spelling with punctuation too, maybe an occasional LOL

also unironically likes posts about trust issues and being a sigma male. he doesn’t actually think hes one, he just relates to those quotes that are like: “being alone is better than with fakes” 😭😭😭😭

ghost probably hates other men more than misandrists 😕 i think its bc hes always fighting other men and dealing with the cruel things theyve done, so ghost subconsciously feels more on guard with men he doesnt know

has insomnia

doesn’t cry. ghost doesn’t remember the last time he cried.

isn’t rich rich, but has a ton of savings. he doesn’t have a family or spend a lot. so the money piles up.

relationship hcs:

first off, i dont think he’d realistically get into one anyway LMAO

s/o would have to the chasing, i dont think ghost is the kind to actively pursue someone

he has charisma, doesn’t feel like using it

hes very against the idea at first—his family got murdered because he was in the military, you think hes gonna let it happen again?

probably will not like someone working with him as a soldier

i think itd go two ways: a) you are a civilian who aggressively pursues the poor guy and he gives in, b) you work as a military nurse and gradually get to know him, c) you are a longtime close friend of his before he was in the military

i cant see him being fwb with anyone, only one night stands

hes not a toxic partner or super lovey dovey

ghost doesn’t entertain multiple women at once

itd most likely end up in a breakup where he fears for your safety:(((

BUT lets ignore that

tbh, i think he would probably be with someone very empathetic and kind to others. he doesn’t like people overly energetic, too soft, or someone that annoys him

persons gotta be independent and good with long distance

simon doesn’t care about age gaps, but probably wants someone at least in their late twenties

had a hard time opening up, eventually told you everything once he trusts you

another reason why i think he wants someone empathetic is because he has severe trust issues😃😃

last thing he’d care about is looks for long term relationships

the type of guy to disappear for 6 months and reappear to be like “remember im your husband???”🫡

doesn’t let you tell your friends about him—No hes not being uncommitted or toxic, but hes simply being cautious after what happened to his family

you can’t show anyone photos of him, his name, his occupation, NOTHHINGGG

so you fake a name for your bf who your friends think you’re lying about

definitely does not let you post on social media about him either.

installs security in your home, teaches you self defense, and gives you weapons. this guy can be paranoid

will never hit you or lay a hand on you

ghost genuinely thinks you saved him—his life was bleak and empty before you came in. subconsciously thinks of you as a savior

he buys you gifts, does chores for you, he really likes you :(

ghost actively tries to make his voice sound softer and friendlier when hes talking to you

doesnt understand playing mind games, things like the silent treatment or “im ok” when ur not ok thing. just tell him how you feel

doesn’t tell his team about your existence. you and his job are always going to be separate.

avoids talking about what he does in the military. ghost has killed and injured many and he doesn’t want you to see that side of him.

scary dog privileges for SURE

[soobnny]

classmate au | yang jungwon

❝ i’ve retired from the student council lmao ❞

heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | JUNGWON | ni-ki

yang jungwon

where do i even begin

in the first year of highschool, he used to be THE class president

resident teacher’s pet, sits in the front, yada yada… typical good student stereotype

BUT NOW??? 😭😭😭😭

he just goes to school to be silly

don’t get me wrong like he is smart n still receives good grades

but he isn’t the 100% school jungwon from 7th grade

MOVING ON

how do you befriend yang jungwon

he’s actually a friend of a friend!

apparently, rei had met him when she was in the student council for like a year

so naturally, you eat lunch together at the canteen

he always has those cool lunchboxes and just rly GOOD food for lunch that he doesn’t share

you didn’t know what to expect from the boy when you first started eating lunch together

maybe timid??? shy??? bossy?? you don’t know bc he’s in a different section

you certainly don’t expect him to know about every single possible GOSSIP in the school

he says it in such a funny way too like

yang jungwon storytelling skills 10/10

and he laughs so hard like he will draw attention to your table bc he’s laughing so hard

but it’s valid bc the things he says sometimes are so unhinged that even YOU can’t help the loud cackles

tho you don’t rly become close friends until sports fest season

you hang around each other ++ additional friends BUT they’re always in some contest so you’re left with jungwon most of the time

“do you want to leave and go to the mall??,” you’d ask more as a joke

but he agrees

YANG JUNGWON agrees to skip sports fest to go to the mall with you im in tears

that’s how you find yourselves in a small karaoke room at the mall

he drags you to the arcade too

the original bet was loser pays for the winner’s lunch

but then u lost every game and u looked so cute pouting that jungwon suddenly changes the rules

“FINE… winner pays for the loser’s lunch”

he pretends to be so upset about it too so that you can grab his arm and shake it around to try and get his attention

he gives in obv

then he takes u to lunch at one of like ur fav places and ure like omg ??? u think it’s telepathy that he knows

BUT NO he listens to your stories during lunch time and you’ve mentioned eating here and loving it before

he even has your order down but he tries not to be too obvious about it ☹️☹️

yang jungwon listens to you even tho you’re seated a few people away from him

womp womp it rains when u decide to go back to school

you two end up running in the rain together

WELL technically at first you tried to share his umbrella but then the both of you got too flustered

so when u started to stray away from his umbrella .. he CLOSES it

he takes your hand and goes running for the school so you can take shelter from the rain

the teachers and students look at u like 🤨🤨

anyways jungwon and (name) ABSENT from sports fest

the only thing you remember the event by is bc u joined picture taking before leaving the school grounds

it’s so natural hanging out with him

nothing ever feels forced bc he’s just so goofy and silly that you never feel crazy when talking to him

ever since then !!!!! he’d sit closer to you during lunch time

then he’d start waiting for you outside your classroom just to tell you something ??

will find every excuse to talk to you

and if the teacher needs something from your room? bye he’s VOLUNTEERING just to see you for a few seconds

ofc the teachers just think typical Jungwon behavior

but no … this is typical Jungwon with a Crush behavior

ALSO picture this

his classes end earlier than yours

he will literally pass by your classroom a million times and peek through the open door to make like brief eye contact with you

sometimes .. u don’t notice him and he just admires the way you look on forward to the teacher

also pretends his class ended late so when ur class dismisses he’ll be like “oh let’s talk to the cafeteria together!”

he’s not slick abt it

WHAT DID THAT MALL TRIP DO TO HIM

why is he suddenly so down bad and willing to do everything to hear you laugh

(he starts sharing his food with you btw i know… very shocking for him who ltrly Never shares)

he finally confesses after a school event that ran longer than it should’ve

so he sprints at you and tells you he needs to tell you something bc he is going crazy

CONFESSES !!!!!!!!!

ofc who are you to reject him.

be careful when you start dating bc i firmly believe he LOVES kissing 😹

like he is obsessed and will just be kissing you all the time i’m sorry i’m pushing this agenda

tho ofc in hidden areas!!!!!!!

he doesn’t want his beloved teachers catching him who still has an image of being a teacher’s pet

soooooo like……

“come here, let me kiss you”

you even receive TEXTS as if you’re some sort of sneaky link (you’re not)

“please meet me under the stairs beside the student council office and prepare your lips 😘😘😘😘”

under the stairs, the side of the basketball court, an empty classroom … everywhere

BEHAVE yang jungwon

he’s so clingy and so smug too

has you as his lockscreen

it’s so funny bc someone would borrow his phone and your zoomed in face would just flash in his phone

talks about u to his friends all the time

“isn’t my girlfriend so pretty?,” with this smile 😊😊😊😁

lets you wear his school blazer

sometimes he even switches ur pe shirts

HE DOESNT TELL U

He just likes seeing the big fat “yang” printed on your back

STUDY DATES

he makes his kisses a reward sometimes like if you get this question right he’ll SMOOCH u

he’s honestly so good at being academic support like he knows exactly what to say bc 7th grade him was a different breed n be was so eager to please and always felt so pressured

jungwon a Veteran u guys

helps you in the subjects you’re not so good in

tbh teaches better than your teachers sometimes

like he’d stay behind in class and it’s only the two of you in the classroom and he’ll start WRITING on the whiteboard

just starts lecturing to help you for an upcoming exam

ANYWAYS

honestly just good luck to you and your poor lips

oh also your poor stomach bc he will always make you laugh

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[justlillythinking]

idk where to put requests bc i barely ask for stuff on here but basically my idea was this. neteyam x human reader that is hella funny. friends to lovers type thing where he feels his responsibilities and stress slip away when hes with them. kiss kiss love confession type thing. gn or fem would be cool mookie

neteyam x human!reader imagine

1.7k words

warnings- sfw, mutual pinning, soft fluff, a little angst ? love confessions

also while writing this it was inspired by in love with you by erykah badu and boogie nights/all night by erykah badu

hanging out with the sullys is always interesting, from going on ikran rides to sneaking on missions. when lo'ak says that you should all go on a ride right before eclipse, neteyam is fast to object.

"come on bro, you know dad is going to slaughter us if we are out at eclipse, lets just go tomorrow."

spider huffs before jumping on lo'aks ikran. god, my brother is such an ass, sometimes i just want to slap him so hard he can't feel his face for a week. i give neteyam a look, us both understanding that the only way to keep our stupid brothers in line is to follow them and keep them safe. he helps me up onto his ikran and we take off after spider and lo'ak, soaring in the calm sunset.

after flying for 10 minutes, spider and lo'ak land somewhere in the floating mountains, neteyam and i follow after them. when we touch down, neteyam picks me up and sets me down; something he loves to do to remind me he’s 3 feet taller than i am.

“fucking skxawng”, i mutter under my breath. before i can even turn around to shoot him a dirty look, he picks me up by my waist with one hand, laughing at me kicking him.

“what was that you just said?” he asks, still laughing at me.

i shoot him the dirtiest glare possible, “ i called you a fucking skxawng, skxawng. now put me down before i rip your braid out.”

neteyam laughs and sets me down, walking away like i huff. we both eventually walk over to spider and lo’ak, sitting beside them and admiring the forrest. we all talk and joke around, laughing about stupid jokes and talking about rumors. we eventually get on the topic of crushes, me teasing spider about his growing crush on kiri, neteyam rolling his eyes like lo’ak complains.

“cuz, come on, that’s my sister i don’t need to know that you want to bang her bro. how would that even work anyways, a human and a na’vi??”

i sigh to myself, knowing what lo’ak says about a human being with a na’vi is true and that neteyam and i will probably never grow to something more than just being friends.

little do i know, neteyam is having the same thoughts, wanting and wishing we could be more than friends, when in reality he knows that kissing me is probably off the table because of my exopack.

the conversation between all of us dissipates as we quiet down, all thinking about different things. i stand up and brush my legs off before saying we should head back so we can be home before eclipse. neteyam agrees while our brothers sigh with “do we have too” and “just like 5 more minutes i swear.”

we eventually all start walking back to the ikrans, lo’ak and spider racing each other. neteyam and i trail behind, talking and shoving each other and laughing. i look at him, the sunset shining on his beautiful blue skin and as it gets darker outside his freckles start shining. i realize that my feelings are futile, but it’s hard to be around the most kind, loyal, protective, beautiful man and not get attached.

i sigh, realizing i have gotten caught up in my own head again. when i look back up at him i see him with a sad smile.

“what’s wrong?” i ask.

“it’s nothing.”

“well it’s got to be something, you’re not usually sad for no reason.”

he sighs and says, “really, it’s nothing. we should try to walk faster so we get back before eclipse.”

he starts walking faster towards the ikrans, making me jog to catch up. i grab his hand and stop walking.

“neteyam, please, don’t keep stuff from me. we are best friends, and when we first became friends you promised to always tell me what’s bothering you.”

“stop digging y/n, i don’t want to talk about it right now. i just want us to laugh and talk like usual right now.”

“just tell me so that i can help you and we can go back to normal.”

“i don’t want to talk about it.”

“nete please-“

“fucking stop y/n, i’m not going going to talk about this with you.”

i stand there shocked, not used to him getting angry. he walks off and i follow after him, confused as to why he’s so mad. i know i shouldn’t have pushed but it’s not like him to be so sad.

when we get back to the ikrans lo’ak and spider immediately notice that something’s off, seeing the look on neteyam’s face. when spider and lo’ak look to me i shrug and shake my head. it’s awkwardly silent before neteyam clears his throat and says, “ y/n, how about you ride with lo’ak and spider rides with me tonight.”

lo’ak and spider both whip around and look to me, about to complain about how it’s never been this way when i just shake my head. spider raises an eyebrow at me but walks over to neteyams ikran anyways. i walk to lo’aks, waiting for his to grab me by the waist to help me but he doesn’t. i climb up, and go to hold onto his waist, but i stop and hold his shoulders.

neteyam and spider take off first, lo’ak and i soon after. we sit in science for a little before he asks, “so what happened?”

i sigh, “he just seemed off. he’s been more distant and sad lately, but i guess that’s just a journey of him becoming a man.”

“yeah well he has been stressed out about the whole ‘becoming a man and choosing a mate’ thing. it’s not like there’s not 20 girls that would die for him to stick it in them,” he snickers.

“ew come on lo’ak that’s disgusting.”

“i mean, i know who im choosing when i become a man.”

“the hottest girl who wants me, duh cuz. i mean that’s skxawng has always been picky, but now it seems like he’s trying to always want what he can’t have.”

“what do you mean?”

“come on cuz, you can’t be that blind. did you notice when he started getting all whiny earlier?”

“no? i mean after we talked i guess?”

“and we talked about what...”

i pause, trying to remember.

“ummmmm we talked about how you wanted to bang that girl we saw that was healing you and neteyam’s dumb asses, we talked about how spider is never going to find a na’vi that wants his tiny ass but let’s be honest, him and kiri totally have something going-“

“no you fucking skxawng we talked about humans and na’vi, then neteyam got all whiny and shit.”

i pause, “so?”

“so who is the human that neteyam spends all his time with?”

i stop.

“you’re saying that neteyam likes me?”

“YES THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING AND YOU CLEARLY LIKE HIM TOO”

i blush and laugh, “ lo’ak, there’s no way he likes me. you said it yourself, he was like 30 hot girls lined up for him.”

“he totally does like you-“

“he totally doesn’t-“

“but you like him anyways. that’s the point, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not because we all know that you two like each other.”

we ride back home in silence, i think about what he has said. could it neteyam actually like me too? is that why he didn’t want to talk about it with me? i wonder what would even happen if he did, it’s not like we could mate.

when we land at home, i get of lo’aks ikran and thank him for telling me. i walk to my tent and lay down, thinking about how this could change everything. i should probably talk to neteyam about it instead of just mulling it over by myself.

i decide to get up and go talk to him, even though i’m scared that lo’ak could be wrong. i mean, what if i talk to him about it and tell him i like him when he doesn’t even like me back? i stand by his family’s tent, not sure if i should go it on not.

while i’m standing there thinking, i don’t notice that neteyam walked up behind me. he taps me on the shoulder and when i turn around i see that it’s him.

“hi.”

“hey?” he says, nervously scratching his neck.

“i think we need to talk, i was about to go in and ask for you.”

“i told you i don’t want to talk about it-“

“lo’ak told me you have a crush on me.”

he stares down at me with wide eyes. i can see his cheeks turn purple as he blushes and he opens and closes his mouth, trying to say something. i grab his hand, my small one grabbing on to 3 of his fingers. i walk us over to my tent, thankfully lo’ak must have gotten spider to stay away for a little.

when we go inside my tent, neteyam looks so nervous that you would think i’m trying to shoot him. he starts rambling, “ listen i don’t know why lo’ak would tell you that because i don’t have a crush on you i mean, you’re my bestfriend that would be kind of weird right? i mean not to say that you’re not funny or pretty, because you definitely are but even if i did like you, i mean how would that even work, i’m na’vi and you’re human and we probably would even be able to kiss because of your exopack and-“

i cut him off, “neteyam, i like you.”

“you do?”

“yeah, i do.”

“but why me, why not lo’ak? or anyone else?”

i look at the floor, “because i don’t want lo’ak. i want you. i want your smile and how funny you are. i want to talk to you and go on your ikran with you. you understand me like no one else. i see you nete.”

i feel a his hand on my chin, guiding me to look up at him. he hugs me, my forehead on his chest.

“i see you y/n,” he says, kissing the top of my head.

[pia-nor481]

Lando norris nsfw alphabet

A- Aftercare (what are they like after sex)

I feel as though it’s very dependent on his mood, sometimes it’s a little chaotic running around grabbing water and rushing to the shower, where other times is just soft pillow talk and cuddles.

B- Body part ( their favourite body part of theirs and their partner)

In my mind he favours his hands due to their size, maybe a little bit of a size kink. He enjoys the difference and perhaps how one can cover most of her throat, or how he could easily grasp both of his partner’s wrists together

While on his partner, we know he likes ass so I don’t know what you expected. However, I feel like he might also really like tits, but keeps it a secret because it’s considered “childish” by some (mainly in the uk). In a less sexual sense, I believe he’d really love his partner’s eyes, whether it be staring at them, or how you can tell so much emotion from them.

C- Cum (anything to do with cum)

I don’t know why I get the feeling that he cums a lot in one go. Anyway I think he’d like to pull out and cum on his partner, whether that be tits, thighs or stomach etc. But if can cum inside he definitely would, this would be a main factor in deciding the type of aftercare given.

D- Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He may or may not have jacked off to a normal voice note of his partner. The context wasn’t even sexual, he just missed hearing their voice and was very horny.

E- Experience (how experienced are they?)

Is it bad I don’t think he has that much experience? We don’t know about many ex girlfriends. But I think he likes to fuck a lot, so he would be very experienced in pleasuring just his partner after learning (being taught) what gets them off.

F- Favourite position

I think we can all agree he likes doggy, but not for the reasons as most men ((boys) bc a man would never!)) He really wants to be able to see his partner’s face and reactions to what he is doing, he likes the ego boost. Plus I think he likes spanking, not too hard in this specific position, just a few light taps and some groping.

But cowgirl gets an honourable mention, as mentioned above he does like tits so getting so stare at them really gets him off

G- Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

Very dependent on the lead up. There are times where sex just has inconvenient moments; struggling to take clothes off so that just leads him to resting his head on his partner’s shoulder, letting out a sigh then a little chuckle. Or maybe a time where he’s just hard, not for any specific reason and asks (begs) for his partner to get him off, and he’s all giddy about it, so it’s just laughs in between moans and groans. On the other hand, I think there are times where he’s very serious , mostly when sex is on the rougher side or post race. Maybe even on an anniversary or special occasion he’d try to be much more serious. But in general I don’t think he’d actually make a joke, or at least not on purpose.

H- Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

I’ll be honest, I think it’s a little darker than the hair on his head. I don’t think lando is clean shaven (now that he actually has pubic hair), he tries to keep it quite short though, but sometimes he gets a bit busy and so neglects the length and doesn’t trim it. But I think he may refrain from blow jobs at this time and opts to fuck his partner’s tits instead. Separate thing, but, I think he also has Sunday everything showers on non-race weeks.

I- Intimacy ( how are they during the moment? Romantic? Pleasure driven?)

I think a mix of both as he’s a very horny man so sometimes he rushes for pleasure, yet other times he likes to be slow and passionate, making love not fucking. He would really like to take his time, traveling from room to room, spending lots of time feeling up his partner.

J- Jack off ( masturbation headcanon)

I think he masturbates a lot, a few times a week and I think it would be roughly at the same time of day as well. But he can’t just sit there, he needs material!! Whether that be just pics or short videos in his ‘my eyes only’. Again let me mention the voice notes, he does think it’s bit strange how much he liked it, and how quick he came. But he would much prefer phone calls where he’s limited to just his girlfriend’s voice. Almost teasing himself. And her

K- Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As mentioned above size and voice.

But he really likes control and being dominant. He knows that dominance isn’t just position. He knows how to dominate without putting in any of the physical work

Sensory deprivation- so blindfolds, mainly again as he really likes control (as said in some interview) and he knows not being able to see will heighten your other senses so he would talk/whisper a lot more and be more feather light with touches. This idea can also tie in with the only phone calls not face time

Impact play- again linked to dominance, I think of this of being very specific and planed out. It doesn’t happen just because he got hard 10 minutes ago, but this is specifically reserved for non-race weekends. Mainly trying new toys, whether it be a crop or any object. Maybe just his hands. I think a lot of this is exploring based; testing different areas like the very top of the thighs, instead of just the ass. He always makes notes (during the sex in his head, then after maybe in a book as that can’t get leaked) but this started with a lot of communication to prevent any real injuries, making sure to use a safe word system (I imagine the traffic light system as it fits best) and ensuring that he only hits fatty areas not where organs reside. He wants to play yet it must be safe or it isn’t fun.

Katoptronophilia- mirrors. I believe that he likes to make his girlfriend watch what he’s doing to her as well as see the pleasure he’s giving her. It’s like a power rush as well as a sense of accomplishment/ achievement.

L- Location (favourite place)

Definitely bedroom. This is mainly due to privacy, but I also think it’s because he’s not very tall, so perhaps his hips aren’t high enough for counter sex. I’m not sure though, I may have tested it ( for context when I’m on my tiptoes I’m almost his height and my hips were not above the kitchen counter.) but tables I think he’d like, as well as bending her over the sofa or in the bathroom sink in front of the mirror.

M- Motivation (what gets them going?)

I think most things would turn him on, but I think being challenged would give him motivation to put his girlfriend in her place. Also, just generally intimate/ domestic situations

N- No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Probably watersports etc but to be honest I don’t know with him. To me I think most people don’t really like that, or at least won’t say they do.

Electro stimulation- it just seems a bit too scary

O- Oral (preference on giving or receiving, skill)

He’s a man so will probably prefer receiving, but he would really enjoy eating his girlfriend out for a sense of pride. However, I feel as though you may have to teach him a little, like he knows what he’s supposed to do but may struggle with actual delivery, but he’s so willing to learn, all smiles. We should take into consideration that he is an athlete so his breath control will be amazing.

P- Pace (are they fast or slow? Rough or sensual?)

Not to be repetitive, but, it will depend on the situation. However, I believe he leans more on the rough side, I don’t have evidence but I stand with that opinion. Furthermore, he’s likes to be rough due to the power and trust it gives him.

But he usually isn’t particularly fast as he’s been informed (generally speaking on the internet) that women will say harder but a man would go faster and they wouldn’t like it. (I know that’s super generalised but he would definitely listen and do what would give her pleasure) he likes research and found some study that wearing socks can make women cum harder and immediately suggested it.

As mentioned before he likes to make love, so winter or summer breaks are reserved for kinky fucks and sensual love making. I rest my case

Q- Quickie (their opinions, how often etc)

He absolutely loves them. He gets horny very quickly and so would want a release as quick as possible. Also the convenience of his drivers room allows for quickies all the time, pre and post race. But if he’s at home he’ll want long and more passionate sex

R- Risk (will they experiment? Do they take risks?)

If it’s not a hard no he’ll probably try it at least once, but he also must worry about his career. Although he really wants to fuck publicly, he can’t take that risk

S- Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

Again he’s an athlete so can go for long periods of time yet I don’t think he could cum more than twice in one go. He can definitely cum many times in the same day, but he needs a few hours break. But he will make the time he’s fucking his girlfriend as long as possible.

T- Toys (do they own any? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves)

He knows toys are his friend not his enemy (as told by the bathtub toys thing.) Anyway, I think he once bought a vibrator when he was single just because he saw some men talk about how amazing the orgasm felt and he would have really enjoyed it, but always cums way to fast for his liking, he wants to last longer than three minutes. He will definitely use toys on his partner, whether that be a dildo or vibrator of some kind. He also really wants to try hand cuffs but he feels as though he needs to build up to it, as such a physical restraint can be quite a mental strain; so he decides to try it with just paper first so she could very easily get out it she wanted to, then tried those silicone “cuffs” for the same reason. Then finally used metal ones with a lock. But he will always cuff her hands in front of her.

U- Unfair (how much do they like to tease)

I think verbally he teases A LOT. But physically not too much. He may deny the orgasm once or twice before letting her actually cum. But foreplay will be quite lengthy, he wants to slowly drag his hands along her thighs or only push his cock in 2 inches before pulling out fully.

V- Volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make?)

I think he will always be making noise just not overly loud. Always groaning and moaning (thank you for the twitch streams) he can be completely quiet, except for heavy breathing, if he really needed to.

W- Wild card (a random headcanon)

I think, at some point, he bought one of those moulds to make your own dildo. Just the thought of his girlfriend fucking herself with a silicone version of his cock really gets him going. Along with those remote control vibrators. He would love them especially when she can’t be at a race and so he can make her cum when he’s on the other side of the world. (I didn’t know that was possible until the other day) it’s just so hot to him.

X- X-ray (how big are they?)

You know what they say about the skinny ones. He’s either very long and is relatively thin. Or average length but girthy as fuck. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think his tip is pink/ red ish. I’m totally basing this off the colour of his lips. But you know. Just a thought.

Y- yearning (how high is their sex drive)

This man is so horny. 8 or 9/10

Z- Zzz (how quick do they fall asleep afterwards?)

I don’t think very quick, unless it’s been a super long session, but even then he’d make sure his girlfriend is situated before daring to fall asleep. He likes cuddles so expect to be in his arms for as long as possible.

If you have any other ideas/ headcanons please comment. I really want to see other people’s opinions.

[echobx]

Twin Flame 2 - pervy!bsf!JJ × pervy!bsf!fem!reader

summary: y/n is indecisive about what she wants and tries to blame JJ

word count: 2.3k

warnings: bratty!reader, angsty feels for JJ, miscommunication ig, lying (to the pogues), smut, talk of mutual masturbation, p in v (unprotected), backshots, orgasm denial

author's note: as promised here's part 2 and bc I couldn't fit all of what I needed in here, I'm gonna do a 3rd one on top... what can I say, I'm a sucker for this man

series masterlist ♡ part 1

   Exchanging used underwear in secrecy. That's the best way you could describe the “situation” you had with JJ. 

   You hadn't really managed to do much that first day, not wanting to get caught by your friends and having to explain it all. Maybe you were both more scared of their judgment for how you two acted than for breaking the rules. They were stupid rules anyway, not holding up any weight anymore after the group finally consisted of two couples, Kiara and whatever it was that JJ and you would maybe, possibly, potentially become. 

   You weren't sure if you wanted more than just hanging out that ended with his fingers up your cunt and yours wrapped around his dick. An occasional make out session if needed, but you weren't picky about it. 

   It wasn't the classic get up. No secret love, at least you told yourself that, because you didn't even know what love was supposed to feel like, never having felt it. You just knew that kissing JJ made your head spin, and you felt nauseous afterward. But not in a sick way, not like when you did after drinking one too many stale beers. No, it was more like your stomach wanted to turn itself inside out and the feeling could only be remedied by his touch, by the feel of his lips pressed against you. 

   There were silent boundaries that JJ wasn't about to cross without asking first, either, but he was also too afraid to pose the question. He looked at you with wonder, more so now than ever before, and maybe that’s why it was so difficult. Before the “agreement” he could make jokes about you sucking him off instead of paying for your weed. Or him going down on you for a pack of cold ones. 

   However, that ease had shifted drastically with the moment you had pulled him into the spare room that day. From then on his whole body was only craving one thing, to hear you try to stay quiet for him and to feel your soft touch around his cock; to watch you watch him as he licked his fingers, cleaning off the last drops of your cum; and maybe even more so, to watch you do the same with him. 

   Head and hand were close enough alphabetically for him already, so it didn't make sense to him why he had such a hard time asking for more from you, and granting it in return. 

   “My parents aren't home this weekend,” you told him while getting dressed, pulling your skirt up but leaving your slip lying damp on his bed. 

   “Is that an invitation?” JJ cocked his brow, and you tilted your head to the side. 

   “Sometimes I think you’re scared of coming inside.” The double entendre didn't get lost on him. 

   “I just mean, we've never done that, is all,” he shrugged. 

   “You've been in my room more times than I can count.” 

   “Not like that,” he shook his head two times, exhaling loudly before getting up and picking up a fresh pair of underwear to put on. 

   “Maybe if you had asked earlier,” you shrugged. 

   “Are we still just talking about the room?” 

   “I don't know, JJ, are we?” you huffed, picking up your purse and walking out on him. 

   Your demeanor had become increasingly harder to read for him, and your growing usage of quips and sarcasm, as well as words he had to look up, wasn't helping either. He knew it was just who you are, not your intention to confuse him more. Yet it didn't help much. 

   The next day, he tried his best to not gaze at you, instead keeping his eyes pinned to the ground to not get lost again. He got lost more and more these days. Thinking about letting you ride him, fucking your throat, bending you over; you name it, he thought of it. He went to sleep thinking about you with a growing semi that wouldn't die down unless you took care of it, and woke up with a boner that grew increasingly more painful. To him, it seemed like the only options would be to just be able to fuck you awake or fall asleep with your tight cunt wrapped around him. 

   “How do you ask someone to go down on you?” your voice ripped him out of his thoughts, but he refused to look at you still. 

   “Why? You got someone new?” Kie poked your shoulder, a cheeky grin on her face, and you smiled politely, keeping the facade. 

   “I wouldn't call it that, we're just hooking up- Well, not so much that either,” you sighed and suddenly all your friends had their ears perked, all but one. 

   “Sounds confusing,” Sarah huffed, her legs draped over John B’s on the couch. 

   “I don't know if it is my fault for not suggesting it or his for not wanting to, I guess,” you roll your eyes. 

   “Maybe he doesn't know how to ask either?” JJ noted, looking up for just a second to see them all look at him for a short moment. 

   “What are you and this guy doing?” Kie inquired. 

   “All we do is make out and then get each other off. We've not even fucked yet, and I'm really starting to question if he just thinks I'm ugly or something. Or maybe I'm just so shit at hand jobs that he doesn't even want to do more,” you complained, and this time JJ stared you down as if you had just announced that you ran over a bunch of toddlers. Maybe even worse, he knew he could find some fucked up excuse for why you would need to run over babies. That was just normal, though, everyone was down bad for their best friend. 

   “Maybe you should tell him that, instead of us,” he hissed, pissed at just the thought that you could think yourself to be not enough to grant the pleasures he wanted to give you, no matter how scared he was. 

   “JJ’s right, for once,” Pope spoke up, oblivious to the tension between the two of you. “Open and clear communication always works out.” 

   “Since when are you such an expert on sex?” JJ huffed, which landed him a kick against the knee by Kiara, and a glare from Cleo, who was playing with her knife. It wasn't a smart move on his end, but he had other things to worry about. 

   “I don't think he knows English as much as he should,” you sighed, finally looking away from JJ, who gulped at the insult.

   John B leaned forward with a mischievous grin. “Don't tell me you're fucking that Italian exchange student.” 

   “What? No. That's not what I meant. And he's so not my type either,” you felt affront to the suggestion. “Also, way out of my league, that one, even if I was interested.”

   “Not fucked up enough for you?” JJ quipped, and you shot him a glare. 

   “Apparently, I like mine dumb,” you hit him back. The tension grew worse with the second, and you knew the only way to get rid of it was to let him ruin you, but you didn't want to give him the satisfaction. 

   “Okay, well, just talk to the guy. And if he doesn't wanna go down on you, let alone refuse to fuck you, drop his balls in a boiling pot of water and then drop him,” Cleo suggested and Kiara agreed with her. 

   “Yeah, and give me his address, so I can put chili powder in all his underwear.”

   The discussion died down after that, but JJ yet again refused to look at you, but this time not because he was too infatuated with you. He was angry, sad, hurt, confused. His chest felt narrower than usual, as if he was having an anxiety attack, but worse. And every time your voice nestled itself in his ear, it got worse, to a point where he pushed his chair back and stomped inside without losing another word. 

   However, you didn't think much of it, knowing how quick tempered he was it would also not be the best idea to meet him inside. 

   When you got home, your parents were already asleep. You got ready, taking a shower and putting your hair up before lying down to sleep. 

   At last your quiet was disturbed by your window being pushed open and the sound of heavy boots on hardwood flooring filled the room. 

   “I’m trying to sleep,” you murmured. 

   “I don't care,” JJ growled right next to your face. “Get up!” 

   “What's your problem?” you hissed at him while sitting up, the tiny nightgown you were wearing made his pants grow impossibly tighter.

   “You're a real bitch. Not saying shit to me and then spilling it all to them? Making me look even worse than I already do? Making fun of me?” JJ was seething, and the fact that you didn't show remorse made it worse. 

   “You don't know what you want!” you yell silently, not wanting to wake your parents. 

   “Has it ever crossed your fucking mind that I'm trying to be respectful here?” You were honestly too stunned to speak. After all, this had only started because he really wasn't respectful, at all. “Don't you think I would've fucked you any way possible by now if it was my choice? Don't you think that it tears me apart on the inside to try and not fuck this up by being me?” 

   “Oh yeah?” you huffed, and he ran his hand over his face, nodding. “JJ, I don't want you to not be you. Why would I want that? If I wanted to keep on masturbating for the rest of my fucking life, I wouldn't have fucking proposed this arrangement.” 

   “Oh-” the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. “Well… you know… so…”

   “Not so good with English, just like I said,” you shook your head and his hand shot out to hold you by your throat, not restricting air, but not letting you move either. 

   “You're such a fucking brat, do you know that?” He dipped his head and forced a harsh kiss on your lips. Your hands came up to his pants, fumbling to open the belt and button before he shoved you to lie on your bed. 

   “You wanted me to come by? Expected it?” He sounded dangerous like that, but you liked it, like knowing that he wouldn't actually hurt you, but just play it enough to please you. Or, just enough to “fix your attitude.” 

   “I don't know what you mean,” you said sweetly as he took off his clothes. 

   “That thing you're wearing,” he pointed at the mesh fabric. “Can see all through that. Not something you put on usually.” 

   “Are you complaining about it?” You didn't quite understand what he was getting at. 

   “Hmmm… no. Take it off anyway,” he ordered, and you did. 

   No matter how much he wanted to touch you, feel the round of your tits in his palms, squeeze them, twist your nipples and suck on them, he refrained. He wanted to punish you for playing with him, more. 

   “Lie down,” he pointed at the length of the bed, and you placed yourself on it, head in the pillows, but he shook his head no. “Face down.”

   First you thought about protesting, but you decided against it, turning around and pressing your head into your pillow while your ass was up in the air, the same way your ex had preferred. 

   JJ smacked your ass, and you winced, the sound being smothered by your pillow. 

   “My parents,” you reminded him quickly, and he chuckled. 

   “You better keep quiet then.” 

   JJ didn't really know what he was doing, he only knew that he needed to do it properly and in a way that would have you begging for more, just for him to deny it then. It was a sick plan by an even sicker man. He didn't praise you, didn't talk to you. Kept comments to himself, like the fact that you were so incredibly wet for him, although he hadn't really done anything to you yet. Or when he pushed inside you for the first time and groaned at how tight you were, the perfect fit for him. 

   His first thrust was torturously slow. He wanted to feel you out, every miniscule part of your insides, and imprint it in his mind. How you whined and begged for him to move faster, and to touch you, anything really. 

   “This is just for me, princess, remember?” he taunted after lying down on top of you, nestled deep in your guts. His hands, one on your neck pushing you down, the other under you, pushing against your stomach to make it even tighter for him. Slow deep thrusts did the trick, but as soon as he felt you get closer, pussy starting to flutter around him, he got up and changed his technique. Going faster, nearly coming already, but he placed himself. 

   “JJ, please. Fuck, please,” you begged as you neared the second attempt. 

   “What? Do you want my cum that badly, baby?” he rasped, and you nodded into the pillow. 

   “Need you.” 

   What you hadn't expected was for him to pull out almost completely, starting to jerk himself off while his throbbing tip was still inside you. 

   “JJ, please,” you were close to tears, needing your release as much as air to breathe, and yet he denied you. 

   “Want my cum, baby?” he smirked like the devil, not that you could've seen by the way he pushed you down.

   “Give it to me, please, J,” you whined pathetically.

   As soon as the words had left you, he pushed inside again, spilling himself into your guts and groaning loudly while his dick twitched, and he fucked his seed deeper into you. 

   Maybe you should've felt more used after, but you understood why he had done it. What you didn't understand was that he left as soon as he was done, only a quick, “I hope you're on something,” before vanishing into the night and leaving you behind. 

read part 3 here

please don't copy and/or post my work onto other platforms! ~e©ho

taglist: @redhead1180 @spideysimpossiblegirl @drwstarkeyy @princessmaybank @ijustwantttoread @kys4-20 @immyowndefender @julczimozart @m2m2m2 @mochimms